#decoding some terms for people who don’t know them:

[lassify]

Behind Test Subject 007: The Science of Anya’s Telepathy

Okay guys… I’m gonna come clean. I’ve had some scientific hypotheses brewing for a while now (not least to use in my fanfic, lol), but since we might be getting close to getting an Anya arc in the SxF manga, I figured that now was as good a time as any to actually try to arrange those theories in something resembling coherent and share them with you all. 

Disclaimer: I am not trying to position myself as an expert. I have studied Psychology and Cognitive Neuroscience at university level, so just for fun I ended up doing a ton of research on this, and I’ve got a lot to cover, so… wish me luck 😅 References will be embedded in the text!

Heads up that this is on the long side and complex as hell and my head physically hurts, so I’ll tackle it in sections:

Part 1: Psychology

My actual subject, but I’ll only skim over a couple of theories…

Part 2: Cognitive Neuroscience (Structural basis)

In which I will look at the individual brain areas which could be relevant to telepathy

Part 3: Cognitive Neuroscience (Functional basis)

In which I talk about how those brain areas communicate to each other

Part 4: Physics

I’ll admit, not my strongest subject, but I’ll mention a couple of theories which could be relevant

If you're ready for your brain to melt, feel free to keep reading...

Part 1: Psychology

There are 2 main theories in Psychology which could offer some explanation for Anya’s psychic abilities. 

Theory 1: Theory of Mind

In short, this describes a person’s capacity to understand other people. It is similar to sympathy or empathy, but actually it is the ability to understand that another person is different to ourselves, that they have their own desires, motivations, and thoughts, and that this is reflected in their behaviour. Even more importantly, it’s about being able to decode other’s mental states, whilst still being able to differentiate it from our own.

Any parent will know that it is a real effort to teach children about trying to understand other people’s perspectives: this is because children typically have an undeveloped Theory of Mind, and it is something that continues to develop even into adulthood. In adults, having a developed Theory of Mind helps us to understand other people’s perspectives, predict other people’s behaviour, and use both empathy and deception. 

Anya has a really strong Theory of Mind, which is actually so impressive for her young age. She understands the complex web of all the secrets: that Twilight is a spy, Yor is an assassin, Yuri is in the Secret Service, and Bond is precognisant. She also understands who knows what about each other, and how she can use all of this information to her advantage - those are some crazy cognitive skills!!

In terms of how this is related to telepathy, you could argue that someone with a strong Theory of Mind (like Anya) may be more likely to:

Understand that people have hidden feelings that they don’t show 

Demonstrate empathy for emotions 

Collate information about their likes and dislikes and past behaviour to predict future behaviour. 

If she is highly sensitive to these things, then it could look like telepathy (even if it isn’t). 

Theory 2: Hyperesthesia.

Many people will have heard of synesthesia, which is a synthesis of the senses to the extent that the sensory information overlaps, but hyperesthesia is about being highly sensitive to external stimuli of the senses such as sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch. 

I can imagine an overlap with Anya’s hyperesthesia and her Theory of Mind to pick up on the nuances of other people’s behaviour, to the extent that reading behaviour could inform the sensation of “reading minds”. 

In a science-fictional world like SxF we could imagine that hyperesthesia could stretch into the sense of extra-sensory perception, by being sensitive to the electromagnetic signals in other people’s brains (or even geomagnetic - more on that in Part 4). From this, it is possible that Anya could “read” people’s minds through deciphering the electromagnetic waveforms that people’s brains might project (more on deciphering brainwaves in Part 3…). 

Part 2: Cognitive Neuroscience - Structural Basis

I think we can all agree that Anya’s telepathic powers would largely be supported by the specific structures of her brain, especially given that Endo has already dropped hints of neuroscience in the manga, and we know that he’s very much interested in accurately depicting psychology and neuropsychology in his story. 

The best way to encourage certain brain areas to develop is by doing exercises and tasks which would use that part of the brain repeatedly: for example, consistent gymnastics practice would enhance the cerebellum, the centre of balance and motor coordination. But, I can picture the experimenters in SxF trying something a lot less… humane.

Like, experimental neurosurgery. 

For example, theoretically, they could artificially enhance certain brain areas by using a neural growth factor serum (this doesn’t exist in real life, but let’s indulge the science fiction elements for a second), and, theoretically, if the experimenters used glycoproteins as the serum’s main content (like laminins and netrins), they could control the pace and direction of neurons growing in a brain, choosing to focus on cellular growth in certain areas. Then, they would be able to view the activity of the targeted areas using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), and measure it with electroencephalography (EEG, see Part 3 for more on this).

If Anya ever had experimental neurosurgeries during her childhood, they would have likely focused on the following areas: 

Corpus Callosum: The corpus callosum is the thick structure of white matter that connects the two hemispheres of the brain, allowing each hemisphere to send signals to the other. With an enlarged corpus callosum, Anya would be able to process neural signals at a much faster rate, and at an increased volume, helping her to process the additional load required for telepathy.

Wernicke’s Area: Named after German neurologist Carl Wernicke, this part of the superior temporal gyrus (usually of the left hemisphere) is a major part of being able to understand language. With an enhanced Wernicke’s area, Anya would be more sensitive to decoding the neural signals associated with linguistic thoughts, effectively enabling telepathic communication through language. (As an aside, this would also give Anya an advantage in understanding other languages… which could explain her natural talent with Classical Language!)

Superior Temporal Sulcus: This is another area that is important for processing human speech, and is critical for processing social cues, such as understanding others’ intentions (including Theory of Mind!). With experimentation in the STS, Anya would be better able to decode the subtle cues in others’ brains relating to thoughts and emotions.

Inferior parietal lobule: As well as assisting in the interpretation of language and sensory information, the IPL is also involved in tasks like perspective-taking and understanding others' mental states. By increasing connectivity in this area, Anya can "tune into" the thought processes of others. It’s also well-known for its’ role in visuospatial processing, which can help Anya see visual thoughts as well.

Anterior Cingulate Cortex: This system is composed of a number of different parts of the brain, all working together to be able to process things like attention, decision making, inhibition and emotions. Most interestingly, it is associated with detecting conflicts and errors. Increased sensitivity to the ACC would likely help Anya to detect cognitive dissonance and conflicting thoughts in others (the perfect formula to eventually understand tsundere tendencies…).

Amygdala: The amygdala is often known as the centre of fear, but actually it is hugely important in threat detection, emotional processing and emotional memory. If Anya’s amygdala was enhanced, this would aid her ability to detect threats quickly, as well as her empathy skills and help her to intuit others’ emotions and thoughts. (A negative side effect of an enlarged amygdala would be that Anya may be more vulnerable to the effects of toxic stress, possibly making her less resistant to the effects of psychological trauma.)

Mirror neurons: Mirror neurons specialise in helping us to carry out and understand other people’s actions and behaviours, playing a key role in empathy and Theory of Mind. These hold internal representations of thoughts or actions, and could potentially be the key for Anya to be able to translate another person’s thoughts or intentions, assuming that she has a particularly active mirror neuron system.

Precuneus: The precuneus is really difficult to research and is super complex, so I’ll do my best to keep this simple: Located in the medial parietal cortex, this part of the brain is essential for visuospatial imagining and processing, as well as episodic memory, self-reflection, and some aspects of consciousness. I suppose the main thing is that it has a big role in mental imagery, including being able to model other people’s views, therefore helping Anya to process the mental images in other people’s thoughts.

Broca’s area: This is very much non-canon, but I imagine that if Anya ever developed the ability to project her thoughts, the Broca’s area would be key for this. While Wernicke’s area helps with speech understanding, Broca’s area is key for speech production. In my fanfic (SSS), Anya’s Broca’s area probably functioned normally for most of her life, but in the recent experiments imposed on her, the ability to project her thoughts was ‘unlocked’ through the increased activation of the Broca’s area.

Part 3: Cognitive Neuroscience - Functional basis

The thing is, it’s not enough to just know which parts of the brain work for what - there is also the question of how they connect and work together to be able to fulfil their functions. 

Think of it as the wiring which connects the parts of a computer: a motherboard, mouse, keyboard, and graphics card (as examples) are built to fulfil their specific functions, but the real magic is in how they connect and send signals between each other so that everything works smoothly.

That’s where neural oscillations come in - otherwise known as brainwaves. These are generated by the action potentials of nerve cells, and their different speeds can be measured using electroencephalography, or EEG machines, which can measure the patterns of activity across a brain.

Let’s bear in mind that I’m really skimming the surface of this subject, so I won’t go into all the types of brainwaves in too much detail, but I will focus on the ones that I think could be more relevant to Anya’s telepathy:

Gamma waves

This is the pattern of neural oscillations which are correlated with large-scale brain network activity, and are largely predominant in learning, working memory, and processing new information. In other words: gamma waves help Anya to connect all the different parts of her brain which are relevant to her telepathy, so that all the areas can communicate to each other.

(Just as an aside: I found this hilarious study that looked at the effects of different types of nuts on brainwaves, which saw gamma wave responses being improved through pistachios, while peanuts aided in generating more delta waves. I wonder if the lab scientists of SxF caught on…) 

Theta waves

Theta waves are especially prominent in childhood (during sleep). I imagine that the lab may have recruited children partially for this reason (the other reason would be that brains have more plasticity at a younger age, and so can be altered easier than an adult’s brain). In adults, theta waves are also prominent in hypnotic or meditative states, mind wandering, and the early stages of sleep.

I think it is really interesting that theta waves occur during deep relaxation, as well as the early stages of sleep, making it the only brainwave that can activate both during sleep and during wakefulness. (From what I can tell, anyway.) This could make theta waves an important component of Anya’s telepathy - for example, if her telepathy was important to her survival, then it is critical for her to be able to detect thoughts during sleep, and her amygdala could alert her if the thoughts were at all threatening.

During wakefulness, I can imagine that Anya’s theta waves serve as the precursor for the activation of psi waves…

Psi waves

Just to confirm, Psi waves are definitely fictional, but my rationale is that historically, ‘Psi’ (ψ) has been used to denote the unknown factor which is linked with parapsychology and psychic phenomena. 

My theory is that psi waves would be the frequency required for telepathy, which would allow Anya to detect and interpret other people’s thoughts through their pattern of neural activation. In other words: she can probably read brainwaves. 

Modern science is already trying out methods to interpret people’s brainwaves (which is honestly both supremely cool and extremely terrifying), so it’s not too far out of the realm of possibility that Anya would be able to do the same thing just by unconsciously using her psi waves. The psi-waves would essentially mimic a brain-computer interface in being able to process and interpret neural activity (aka thoughts).

If you require a bit more concrete evidence to believe me, I’ve made a list below.

Right now, we can analyse brainwaves using EEG to:

Decode whether someone answers “yes” or “no” to conversational questions 

Control the movement of simple robots, including wheelchairs, which can be locked/unlocked using EEG (and EMG) as a biometric security system

Detect and interpret what emotion someone is feeling, as well as learn how strong that emotion is (at an accuracy rate of 80-94%)

Deconstruct the cognitive processes underlying social interaction in people who struggle to verbally express themselves

And this study analysed brain activation using fMRI to interpret and reconstruct visual images

Neuroscience is really crazy, guys.

Part 4: Physics

So… this is the part I am the least confident about. Please be patient with me and forgive me for any mistakes 🙏.  Also, this is the perfect time to remind you guys that I am really engaging with science fiction here. Emphasis on the fiction 😂. 

Basically, there are 2 main theories from Physics that I think could explain Anya’s telepathy, as well as her weakness(es):

Theory 1: Geomagnetic Field Sensitivity:

All brain waves are generated by electrical activity in the brain, and they also generate electrical activity of their own, which creates an electromagnetic field around the brain.

Anya’s abilities could be tied to the geomagnetic field of the earth, especially during the New Moon: when the moon is positioned between the earth and the sun, this could affect the field’s strength. The subtle alteration in the geomagnetic field could disrupt the electromagnetic field generated by Anya’s brain, thus disrupting the neural processing. 

In other words: the New Moon could interfere with Anya’s own electromagnetic field around her brain, via sensitivity to changes in the geomagnetic field, which could be why she can’t read minds during the New Moon. 

Theory 2: Resonance:

Resonance can be observed in physics, acoustics, musical, electrical, and mechanical systems - but now scientists are even looking at resonance in consciousness, and resonance in brain waves on a quantum level. 

Without going into too much detail (I am not qualified), I think Anya would generate a resonance frequency of her own that helps her to facilitate telepathic communication: through resonance, Anya could synchronise her Psi waves with the brain waves of another person, and it is this synchronicity that helps her to interpret the other person’s brainwaves. 

If Anya ever encountered another telepath (as she does in SSS), I imagine that they wouldn’t be able to read each other’s minds because their resonance frequencies would cancel each other out. 

In SSS, I also introduced the idea of a sub-auditory sound wave which would stop Anya from being able to use her telepathy. The idea behind this was to introduce another weakness for Anya: when this sound wave is emitted or detected, it interferes with the brain's natural telepathic frequency. This is because the sound wave oscillates at a frequency that masks the neural signals required for telepathy, and means that Anya can’t interpret those signals as easily. 

Thanks for reading!

I told you this was long. Sorry 😅

The above is really just a collective mishmash of stuff I’ve been slowly putting together for about the last 6 months, and I fully accept there will be parts that are more plausible than others. 😂 But it was fun, and more than anything I am really excited to see what we get to find out in Anya’s backstory arc (when it gets here…), and if I see any mentions of brains or neuroscience in SxF I will literally die of joy

#spy x family #sxf #sxf theory #spy x family analysis #non canon #so far #we'll see what Endo does #since he really like neuroscience and psychology #thanks im going to sleep for a thousand years #sxf theories #neuroscience #psychology #neuroscience of telepathy #science of telepathy #telepathy #telepathy isnt real but if it was this is how it would work #also im really sorry for how long this is #i had no idea it would get so out of hand #no spoilers #i think #dont come at me #test subject 007 #anya #anya forger #anya analysis

[intriga-hounds]

IT HAPPENED!!!!! milo finished his ISWS championship today with a BOB win over 13 other silkens. i am so excited to be DONE SHOWING HIM FOREVER!!!!! 😂😂😂 i am also so proud of him and so glad i didn’t chicken out of showing on a hot day. shows are expensive, and going to pick milo up for every show has been…a lot. but i’m glad i kept trying.

milo is now:

BISS ISWS CH KadlecStarfyreMtLassen@Intriga BFAST

(it’s a mouthful, i know)

not bad for a dog that only gets out to events like 3-4 times a year! and has also only been eligible to compete for almost exactly 2 years!!!

i’m glad sivi made me one good dog at least. 😅

#milo #conformation #show #fave #he is qualified in lgra and notra #and has successfully run in asfa singles #but he’s not consistent and i don’t have the bandwidth to get him there #i am happy with his accomplishments and can go forth in peace 😌 #decoding some terms for people who don’t know them: #ISWS: international silken windhound society #isws ch titles are modeled after akc ch titles so they’re achieved close to the same way #BOB: best of breed #BISS: best in specialty show (a Very Big Deal) #BFAST: title modeled after akc’s fast cat titles #it is pretty easy to get but shows potential for running ability perhaps

[profoundbondfanfic]

Do you have any fics that a very gender? Very confronts toxic masculinity in a moving way? Bonus points for 🏳️‍⚧️

I have to say it was a bit of a challenge to decode this ask so we've decided to do something general and hopefully some of these are what you were asking for. Here are some recs with fics that feature trans!characters in a meaningful way or focus on gender roles.

Fem in a Black Leather Jacket by bleuzombie [Mature, 5k words] #trans!dean

Dean has done the work to be comfortable with who himself but some reassurance from his boyfriend Castiel goes a long way as they head to a concert. Dean never dreamed he would be so lucky to find someone who could love him for all of him, panties and all.

love in the time of quarantine by sharkfish [Explicit, 6k words] #trans!castiel

Dean says, “We should have sex.” Cas chokes and looks up at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that.” “We should have sex,” Dean repeats, carefully enunciating each word. Cas keeps staring at him blankly. “It’s fun and you’re hot. Perfect quarantivity.”

Made Manifest by schmerzerling [Mature, 6k words] #trans!dean

Wherein Castiel defied God for Dean before Dean even knew his name.

Mira Mira by vipjuly [Teen, 22k words] #gender fluidity

Castiel is forced to retire from being the world's most prolific and successful hired gun. He gets dropped off at Winchester B&B with a vague notion to 'find himself', but he's having a hard time understanding first of all: what that means, and secondly: how to even do that. The proprietor of Winchester B&B, Dean, a retired ex Fed, seems to have some ideas of his own.

Novaks, Rebooted by violue [Explicit, 57k words] #trans!claire

A single father, his trans daughter, a whole new life in The Golden State.

Sometimes You Have to Lose to Win by zeppazariel [Explicit, 55k words] #trans!dean

The thing is, Dean is okay with being bisexual. He’s come to terms with it, ya know? He’s got eyes, and he can see that men are hot sometimes; whatever, not a big deal. He’s perfectly fine with it. In theory. Not so much in practice. Dudes are a no-no, outside of looking. He’s not budging on this one, so it’s with confidence that he announces, “There ain’t a guy in the world who’s going to change my mind, Sam.” “You’re tempting the universe to make fun of you again,” Sam sing-songs. “The universe doesn’t have shit to do with this,” Dean argues. Sam hums. “Whatever you say, man.” But, as it turns out, the universe has a lot to do with this, and it never really misses a chance to mock him, drag him down, kick him while he’s curled into a fetal position, then take him out back and shoot him while laughing cruelly at his misery. Meeting Cas is precisely what that feels like.

BONUS: a/b/o fics that focus on gender roles

Aromatic Adjectives Need Not Apply by JessJesstheBest [Teen, 4k words]

Castiel was an Alpha, despite what everyone always guessed upon meeting him. He was tall, and he had the stern and imposing profile, but, to most people, those Alpha traits were where it ended. He had a lithe, runner’s frame, with trim waist and thick thighs. “Child-bearing hips” he’d been told. Though, obviously, no children would be born of him. This scuffling man, though. He was... round. Potentially child-bearing. And Castiel was sure his true mate wasn’t either of the other two men. Or Castiel is an Alpha that doesn't believe in true mates but sniffs one out anyway.

Butch by tiamatv [Explicit, 54k words]

When the flower shop owner sweeps his fingers through his hair, he nearly knocks the flowers tucked behind his left ear off; he spends a fussy moment readjusting them with both hands. “I don’t need to be rescued. Especially not by a stranger.” Sheesh. Touchy. But since Dean would have flashed fangs if anyone had thought he couldn’t take care of his own damned self, he can’t be throwing any stones. He shrugs—big and exaggerated, both hands up. "Not sayin’ you did. Look, not your fault that God put alpha brains at the base of their dicks." The lowered blue eyes snap back to his. Flower Boy inhales with his lips parted, all pretense at not sniffing Dean out gone, and his eyes go wider. Dean might not dress or act or look like any kind of sweet little omega, but he knows just what he smells like: really fucking inviting.

Oddly Shaped Empty by jemariel [Explicit, 65k words]

Dean grew up thinking -- knowing -- he'd be an alpha. Until he failed to present. As a beta, he has no mating cycle, no noticeable pheromones, none of the physical markers that are so important in a world of alphas and omegas. He's out of place. How is he supposed to navigate his relationships and find love when he doesn't fit into the neatly-defined boxes he's used to? By the time he meets his new roommate, Castiel, he's more or less given up on finding a mate. He wears his secondary gender like a chip on his shoulder. But you never know what the future holds, who will come into your life, and how they might change it forever..... Queer themes, finding identity, reconciling the past, and a whole lot of smut.

#asks #trans!dean #trans!castiel #alpha/beta/omega dynamics

[mywifeleftme]

364: Various Artists // Israfel

Israfel Various Artists 1997, Ape

A 1997 vinyl benefit compilation of mostly Middle American grindcore / powerviolence / emo acts, assembled in an edition of about 1000 by Bloomington-based DIY label Ape Records (active 1995 to 2002), in handmade sleeve with a recent release catalogue, a substantial zine, and a few priceless gag inserts (incl. YOUR HARDCORE SELL OUT DECODER RING). I’m not an aficionado of any of the genres Israfel covers by any means, but you’d have to be a real head to know most of these: in terms of notoriety, the Locust (who contribute a 47 second blast of lo-fi outrage) are basically Led Zeppelin compared to the rest of the acts, most of whom topped out with a couple of EPs and compilation appearances.

Of course, hearing music that would otherwise be basically lost to time is the appeal of taking a flyer on a comp like this. One of my favourite tracks is “Untitled” by Roanoke, VA’s the Weak Link Breaks, supposedly the first thing the band ever wrote (and, judging from their discography, nearly the last too). It begins with a very, very quiet spacy-Fugazi-style amble (the vocal harmonies couldn’t be more Ian and Guy) that explodes into a brief screamo-style D-beat section, and then some big heaving riffs that make me want to exaggeratedly lift and stomp my feet like a giant trying to keep his balance. I also dig Murfreesboro, TN’s Serotonin, an emo / post-hardcore act with a steely '80s shred band guitar tone who play like they want people in the pit to twirl around ecstatically instead of slam dancing. A lot of the other nasty yowling cat speedballs on Israfel don’t really catch my ear, but that’s okay—I’m weirdly proud of them 27 years after the fact for being themselves and getting out whatever they needed to get out through this violence.

The package’s tone is all over the place. The zine opens with a haunting description of the compilation’s beneficiaries, the family of a pair of little girls with spinal muscular atrophy (a common birth defect) whose condition worsened until they perished, leaving their parents distraught and financially ruined—and the 21-year-old compiler racked with guilt that he didn’t somehow do more to help. From there, it whips through his heterodox thoughts about the hardcore scene (despicably self-absorbed; unresponsive to requests from label operators); the state of emo (too abstract); the best way to bring about change (working within the capitalist system); rape (it’s bad; consent is black and white; can we stop litigating this in the scene?); calling the cops (fine to do); disrespecting the American flag (played out; tacky); and drinking/drug use (“when did self-destruction become rebellion?”). After he finishes up, each band (that got their artwork in on time anyway) gets a page to talk about themselves. This section is full of old school punk zine/leaflet treasures, with designs that mimic motel newspaper ads, postcards, messy handwritten perzines, and Xeroxed 7” grindcore sleeves.

It's funny reading his scornful words about pseudo-rebellious drunkards stumbling toward “the day when punk rock is shelved for an 8 hour workday, Budweiser, and television” and then finding his LinkedIn, where he describes himself as “driving omnichannel excellence” and as “whimsical (after coffee).” You wouldn’t believe it from the splenetic angst of the Israfel zine, but the guy seems like he turned out happy and normal, with a few kids and a successful career. I wonder how the 21-year-old would see the 48-year-old, if he’d call him a sell-out or feel relieved that things worked out; if the 48-year-old would pity his former self, or feel ashamed about losing his edge. More one-time zinesters and hardcore kids end up looking square from a distance than you’d think (I certainly do if you catch me during the workday), because you usually stop hearing about them when they drop out of the scene. For most, the quiet part of life is the larger portion by far. It’s your choice whether to embrace that, mourn it, or seek your own alternative. But if Israfel reminds us of nothing else, it’s the importance of having a good scream at least once in your life.

364/365

#the locust #ape records #the panoply academy #architects of the new christ rebellion #criswell #harriet the spy #thenceforward #locust #inept #the weak link breaks #serotonin #old hearts club #twenty seven hours #eurich #the judas iscariot #reversal of man #screamo #post hardcore #d beat #grindcore #sasscore #zines #diy #selling out #'90s music #music review #vinyl record #emocore

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hey so i think i might have a cat in the headspace, but I don’t know if it’s possible for it to front? Or how to communicate with it enough to help it front, since it’s a a cat? Does anyone have advice?

Hi! This is really interesting! Of course, we can’t know your system or its members as much as you do, but off the top of our head here’s a couple things we think might be happening!

1) It could be a part of your headspace, rather than a full-fledged member of your system! When people create their headspace, lots of folks populate it with creatures and other beings to help make the space feel more comfortable to exist in. In our own system, we have many “NPCs” (for lack of a better term) who are not actually parts or alters in our system - rather, they are more akin to props or pieces of our headspace. Is there a chance this could be what your kitty friend is?

2) If they are a genuine member of your system, there could be many reasons why they haven’t fronted yet! Perhaps they don’t know how to switch, or maybe more likely, perhaps they just don’t want to front! Fronting is not a requirement for being a full, autonomous, and important member of a system. In our system, over half of our alters have never fronted or have only fronted a small number of times! If they genuinely don’t want to front, it may be for the best to respect their wishes and not encourage them to front or switch out.

And regarding your troubles communicating with this cat…

In-system communication can be really tricky, even for those who don’t have any difficulties with speech! I guess we’d say try allowing the cat to try and communicate on their own terms in ways that are comfortable for them. Perhaps they’re comfy with meowing, purring, hissing, and using other forms of cat-communication to get their ideas across! If that’s the case, we’d recommend learning more about cat vocal and body language so you can best attempt to understand them.

Nonhuman headmates aren’t really bound to the same verbal constraints that real animals are! Many members of our system are nonhuman, but they are able to talk and express themselves - if not verbally than through means like writing, AAC, communication cards, and other tools to help them get their ideas out in the open. It might be a good idea to experiment with different communication tools to see if anything speaks out to this kitty and helps them communicate better with you.

Communication tools are for everyone! However, they’re often geared or marketed specifically towards autistic people. As an autistic person who struggles to communicate verbally, we don’t believe that autistic communication tools should be gatekept at all!! Even if your system isn’t autistic, it may help headmates who don’t or can’t talk express themselves better if they have some tools to aid in the process! Our system uses the apps Visuals2Go and SoundingBoard, which are both free apps you can download on your phone! We also have communication cards we’ve created with a marker and index cards, which some parts use to make statements, questions, and express ideas. You can get creative and think of your own ways of allowing this kitty to express themself in ways they see fit!

We hope this helps, even if just a little bit! So sorry we didn’t have much more complete or better advice - we wish you the best of luck with getting to know this kitty in your system! ^^

We’ll try and make a TLDR:

- This cat may be an NPC or prop as a part of your headspace rather than a full member.

- If they are a headmate, they may just not want to front. Their wishes should be respected!

- Your system may benefit from learning how cats communicate to communicate with them on their level.

- The cat may benefit from communication tools meant to help autistic people who have trouble speaking.

- Good luck and we’re wishing you the best!

🌸 Margo and 💚 Ralsei

#internal communication #nonhuman #fronting #cat headmate #long post

[millenari]

Tugger for the headcanon meme?

☾ - sleep headcanon

There are a few ways I can interpret ‘the Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle/But I'll leap on your lap (…)’ + ‘I only like what I find for myself’:

Tugger likes to cuddle but he doesn’t like to be cuddled. Big spoon of the century.

(on a more serious note I do like the idea that he doesn’t like being held/weighed down while sleeping specifically because he doesn’t like feeling like he can’t get up if he so chooses, due to the ‘the cat’s sleeping on me I’m stuck here forever’ law. Especially if he was planning on leaving the person he’s sleeping with in the first place!)

Tugger likes to cuddle only if his cuddle-partner doesn’t want to. Thus you have Tugger spending his whole life fleeing the potential of a Munkuhug at the same time he’s bear hugging Mr. Misto ‘neat’ Offelees who hates having his fur rubbed every which way when Tugger grabs him.

Tugger likes to cuddle only if he initiates because he gets enough of random cats touching/grabbing at him on the daily, thank you very much.

★ - sad headcanon

Getting Tugger to admit he’s in a bad mood is difficult at best. There are few cats in the Junkyard/London who he’d sit down and have an actual conversation with due to ~celebrity worship~ and even fewer that he’d be willingly vulnerable with. And even then, it would probably take some prodding to get him to admit to it, and he’d probably only do so stiltedly. Tugger is very good at talking about his happy feelings. His bad/sad ones are harder for him to articulate.

☆ - happy headcanon

Tugger has a loudass purr. A LOUDass purr. His purr can drown out a person speaking at a normal volume. Sometimes (cough when talking to Munk cough ) he doesn’t want the cats around him to know exactly how happy he is, so he can keep it silent if he wants. Though you would be able to tell by touching his chest, which would be vibrating at a frequency undiscovered by man.

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

Tugger is *very* difficult to get a rise out of, and even when one does, it would be even harder to get him to show it, and even harder on top of that to get him to express that anger in a manner more intense than an annoyed eyeroll and a mane-toss.

✿ - S‌ex headcanon

Oh geez where to start. Heavily bisexual. Tends towards women but has literally zero comprehension on how a person can *not* be attracted to their own se‌x. -> If I know I am attractive then shouldn’t I be aware of other men being attractive? -> If I’m capable of getting myself off then how would I not be capable of doing so with other men? -> And so on. Same art, different angle, to him.

What I’m saying here is that Tugger doesn’t get straight people.

■ -  Bedroom headcanon

Cat: den in the Junkyard. Made from a broken record player. Not water or wind proof, sleeps in Munk’s den when it’s particularly cold out. He and Munk have just silently decided to not talk about it.

Human: Clothes all over his damn room. Stupidly expensive sheets. One of those insanely large beds that can hold like five people.

♡ - romantic headcanon

Only person he's ever has romantic feelings about is Misto (bc I'm tuggoffelees trash). After coming to terms with his new feelings, Tugger tends to feel a little lost about how to express them since he’d never done romance before, which tends to result in either extremely stereotypical/cliché acts of affection that he lifts straight from media/friends/etc or super bizarre things that Misto doesn’t even know how to decode.

My hc that Tugger is additionally bad at being vulnerable means he never just tells Misto about how he feels outright, & I hc Misto as autistic, so Tugger’s weird behavior always throws Misto off when it abruptly starts. I don’t have a single au or fic bouncing around in my head where their get-together goes smoothly, lmao.

♥ - family headcanon

Munkie & Deuteronomy ❤. I also like Macavity being an exiled Deuteronomy brother; I have a couple ideas for human aus where Mac isn’t evil, just kind of an jerk, and he and Tugger are a particularly efficient duo at giving Munk stress-induced heartburn.

Although I also like the hcs I’ve seen floating around where he’s distantly related to Bill Bailey/'ensemble Tugger' &/or rapper Tugger. And he hates both of them ❤.

☮ - friendship headcanon

Misto is his best friend. Tugger has a particular shortage of *actual* friends due to being so popular; he and Bomba would probably deny being friends if anyone asked, but they do talk sometimes. There’s a quick spot in cats 98 where you can see Tugger and Jerrie fistbump, so I like the idea of them being troublemakers together, though Tugger gets sick of Jerrie fast. & Tugger and Alonzo knew each other since they were very small, but they don’t like each other much, so they’re kind of reluctantly close.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

Human: vinyl collection. Do not fucking *touch* his vinyl collection. Don’t breathe on it. Don’t look at it too hard. He has antiques in there. Limited edition shit.

Cat: collects shiny things, like jewelry and cool rocks.  He’s accompanied Jerrie and Teazer on a few of their heists in order to expand his collection. (look, they are professional cat-burglars and all, but sometimes windows are high up and they need a boost and Tugger is tall, alright?)

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

As much is Tugger is The Way He Is, he doesn’t care much for being touched or grabbed unless he initiates it.

▼ - childhood headcanon

By the time Tugger was born, Deuteronomy was already starting to get pretty old, so a teenaged Munkustrap took care of him most of the time. Baby Tugger’s favorite method of communicating his displeasure with any situation was screaming. Loudly. And at length.

As a kid he had a game called ‘Alonzo hit me’ where he would goad baby Alonzo into attacking him & then tell all the nearby adults (that were only partially paying attention to the playing kittens) that Alonzo just hit him out of nowhere. He would then watch like ^w^ as Alonzo got scolded. Alonzo still holds a grudge about this.

∇ - old age/aging headcanon

I do imagine Tugger starts to get more serious as he gets older; as of the period of the Ball I don't think he knows or cares much about fighting, but when he gets a little older he has Munk teach him how to hold his own and he helps patrol the Junkyard & such with Munk and Alonzo and all of them. He complains about it all the time, but everyone knows he willingly volunteered.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Human Tugger can't cook for shit. He burns or undercooks everything because he gets distracted or bored while cooking; he knows some good recipes and has varied taste, he just doesn't have the attention span for it.

☼ - appearance headcanon

Munk and Deuteronomy both have black fingerless gloves in most productions, so i love the idea that if Tugger takes off his leather gloves, underneath are markings that match the shape of his gloves nearly exactly, black fingerless markings just like munk & deut have. you know, like those *guy removes sunglasses to reveal he's wearing another identical pair underneath* gifs.

ൠ - random headcanon

I don't hc grizz as his mom like some do; though I do imagine he has a rough relationship with his mother. He gets his yellow markings & spots from her, though The Mane™ comes straight from Papa Deut. :)

#rum tum tugger #cats the musical #silly cat man my beloved #cats fan on main

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

I taught intro literature to state uni students for a few years and my experience was absolutely that many/most of my students had basic reading comprehension issues with the amounts+types of reading i was told to assign, "liked"/"disliked" readings mostly in proportion to comprehension. but, the limited pedagogical training i got was focused a lot more on teaching me about how to manage students who didn't do the reading rather than struggled to parse it, a lot more strategies for being a hw cop than for explicitly building comprehension, etc. avg sats were "good", most students were native speakers+middle class! they did have high class hour loads and extracurricular/job schedules tho, so *some* of it was about time. but often they'd swear to me they'd done the reading and still only have a vague grasp on a bunch of details. anyway your ed blogging has been very interesting and also cathartic, it's so real

combining this with another anon i got:

your literacy education blogging has been so illuminating to me as a grad student teaching undergrads and slowly realizing that many of them do not know how to read, for my definition of read. i worked closely with a student who i gradually realized "read" by scanning texts for familiar keywords and could not actually parse the sentences and paragraphs these keywords appeared in, to the point where when asked about specific passages she often reported out their opposite meaning. and this was a straight-a student in a social science field at a “top” university! she was outperforming many of her peers! i really don’t know how to handle this stuff in the college classroom when literacy is presumed - there are no built-in opportunities to sit down with each student and figure out if they actually know how to read - trying to figure out strategies but it’s hard. your blogging has been really thought-provoking

honestly i find it very cathartic and also validating when i hear this stuff from people who work at the college level, and also really admire those at the college level who have picked up on the fact that this is an issue since my impression is that the vast majority of people in that field can spend their whole careers rolling with the assumption that students just don't care, aren't trying, are nebulously not very bright, are struggling at the level of the higher concept work demanded by the course but not because they are lacking prerequisite skills, etc.

it's really wild to me to consider and meditate on just how far a student can go in life without developing what i would consider full reading proficiency, and the fact that all high school english teacher discourse i see is about developing students' relationship to literature rather than building their actual literacy is like... lol. the fact that i work with affluent new yorkers means that even the students i personally think of as "struggling" on the reading section are doing fairly well in terms of their like, national percentile - not what very competitive schools would consider high scores, but more than adequate for the actual majority of colleges in the country. and these are kids who like, can't read an article in scientific american and summarize what it said. (this is a real example - idr if it was exactly scientific american but that was a close approximation, and his one-sentence summary was like, not only not very good but actually was just inaccurate.)

second anon also re: your student, something i have begun to think about is that i think that being generally "smart" in a lot of ways but not a natural reader can be a specifically problematic combination, because like - if you can seem like you're reading grade appropriate or even harder books early on, without actually putting in the effort you personally need to put in in order to practice & develop automaticity in decoding, because you have these other language & thinking skills that mean you are a very good guesser, then, like - reading seems like this easy thing for you that everyone thinks you're good at. and it is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to convince a child, "this thing that you are used to doing quickly without much effort, actually i need you do change how you do it so it is difficult and less immediately rewarding." and then also you like keep flying under the radar in terms of even having gaps, etc. it's rough. it's all so rough!

anyway. the real like tower of terror moment for me is when i remember that all this stuff about literacy problems among college students (that mostly do not get addressed and remediated because as you both know firsthand colleges as a whole are not set up to teach skills of any kind - i actually listened to an interview with emily hanford recently where she shared that she got turned onto dyslexia as a story and then reading as a story because she was doing a story on remedial classes in college, where students would have to pay tuition to re-do high school level work and most of those students would not go on to graduate) - this is all also true of the segment of the population who, like, become teachers. so. 😬

#askbox

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 14x09 The Spear 

“Must be Michael” “I don’t think i’ve ever had a good time in Kansas City” “Looks like these people aren’t having a good time, either” “the fuck is wrong with their teeth, man? Oh yeah these are the Michael Monsters” “huh” “Garth’s there to do a job and betray Michael, or he’s serious, and it’s a bad plot line to get him killed so they don’t have to pay Garth anymore” laughter “kinda funny” “Why would he need the decoder ring?” “Wait - Garth is doing a job now?” “that’s right - he half turned into Bobby or something” “How did we not know about this until now?” “still never understood the title from the previous episode” “fkn asshole” “god that sounded nerdy. Big Michael stuff going down soon. Sounds like a social media post. Stay tuned for more details” “what the fuck? I wouldn’t have understood that anyway” “don’t we get Lucifer back already? We never closed that arc. Sick of this Michael crap” “Have you considered that if Jack gets hurt, he loses his soul?” “Did Jack do that for real? I don’t know the terms of the deal. Any magic or any time he gets hurt? Maybe a little column A and B?” “Dude the homeless guy who sleeps in here at night is going to shit himself when he sees both of you running around with your weapons” “that’ll get you” “that’s not good. A little too easy for them” “Dude at this point why bother letting Sam live?” “Fkn idiot” “that was easy” “going to answer the cell phone, and she’s going to be gone. Yeah, that was easy” “Man they wouldn’t have written the shit like this if it weren’t for commercials” “how they cut it, ya know?” “at this point, doesn’t everyone on the planet know that monsters exist? Or is this some sort of conspiracy thing?” “those look like really heavy earrings. It can’t be comfortable” “you’re already an archangel. I don’t understand the statement jewelry but I guess I don’t have to” “Ok. That was good, but he wasn’t supposed to go in alone” “You went into where Michael is alone? Couldn’t even wait for backup?” “just kill his ass” “you’re just wasting your time at this point” “even as werewolf with super powers…he’s still…” “Why aren’t we running yet?” “really? This is the part where you pack up and leave” “pick it up dammit. That’s always the most frustrating shit when they drop stuff” “fkn stab a bitch already. God you always wait so long” “that’s not good” “God I’m so over this Michael thing” “ok”

#beautifulspouserewatchesspn #supernatural rewatch #supernatural #supernatural s14

[frankzcollection]

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[klockolio]

Five Key Terms for Thinking about Art

A strong work of art is built to explore a complex and interesting idea which is expressed as a metaphor (in the story-world if it has one); an ironic distance allows the audience to decide for themselves what matters, rather than take what is presented by the art (or said by characters) at face value, and the whole thing is reinforced by craft which uses the medium to express the story-world, irony, metaphor or ideas to the audience. I often wonder if a well-lived life is built on the same principle: commit yourself to an idea, express it via personal style (and metaphor?) and use irony to push others to figure themselves out rather than adopt your doctrine.

Story-world (AKA who/what/when/where/why AKA plot AKA story AKA summary AKA reading comprehension)

Think about interesting things you would notice if you were an invisible intangible ghost floating around the world the characters are in, watching them and their world. My favorite way to do this, in part because it relies on opinion, is to psychoanalyze characters — what motivates them, what is their philosophy of life, how trustworthy are they, what are their secret desires, what do they reveal about themselves when they speak. You can also talk about the setting, or objects they have, or the way the magic system works if the story is about witches or anything in the world of the story — the key thing is interesting. You are trying to notice things other people might have overlooked, the kind of thing a Wikipedia summary would miss.

After some initial magic adjacent stuff such as getting superpowers from a radioactive spider most folks not watching cartoons want the story-world to be “realistic” in the sense that a painting of someone should look as much as possible like a photo of someone, and anything that does not do that is in error or stupid, “my kid could draw that” and so on. Most people don’t have practice doing anything other than discussing the story-world — this is why they have such trouble with art that does not tell a story logically or represent realty (such as symphonic music or paintings that are splashes of color). The next four terms are on a different, more advanced level: they are often things characters are not aware of because they are happening between the author and the audience; I call this relationship, imagining a movie theater audience looking at a screen, “the cube” of the room as opposed to “the square” of the story-world on the screen. These terms will help you imagine why art is made the way it is (intentional or not) and what you imagine audiences get out of it (consciously or unconsciously); I say “imagine” because this kind of work is fundamentally creative, and it is very limiting to see this kind of work as decoding the author’s intentions. I wonder if people have trouble with “the cube” because they desperately want to live in the heroic or romantic story-worlds they love, and thinking about story-worlds as being built by corporations and authors to shape audience reactions makes it hard to pretend the story-world is a real place.

Irony

Irony is contrast: often something is the opposite of something else, or someone has said one thing while meaning another. Sarcasm is a kind of irony (“verbal irony”): If I get into a car and the battery dies and say “oh that is just fucking great!” I am being ironic – what I mean is that this is the opposite of great. Irony also happens when what happens when there is a reversal of fortune (this is called “situational irony”): if a villain tries to kill a hero with a bomb and blows himself up, this is ironic, because the result contrasts so strongly with his intention. Similarly, irony occurs when the audience knows more than a character knows, and so we contrast their view of themselves with our view of them (this is called “dramatic irony”): many TV characters think they are helping other characters but we at home can see that they are actually causing more trouble. Every single joke you can think of is funny because of irony (“comedic irony”) — it’s the contrast that makes you laugh. Beyond opposites, irony can be more subtle, and gentle — people often praise the intelligence of small children with light irony because while the kids are smart for kids there are a lot of adult things they don’t know, so there is a light contrast in being a smart kid versus being a smart adult. One thing irony does it makes meaning debatable. With Jesus and Socrates for example it is often unclear how literally or seriously we are supposed to take what they say or how what they personally believe or know is different from what they are saying (is Jesus serious when he says it is impossible for rich people to enter into heaven? Is Socrates serious when he says he knows nothing?). They do this because instead of telling you what to think they want you to figure it out for yourself. Jesus and Socrates did not write anything down so the relationship between those two figures and the people who tell their story is another level of irony; how much did their chroniclers agree with them? This same kind of irony is between any writer and their character. Coincidence is not ironic. If you are thinking about your boyfriend and then a moment later he shows up at your house by surprise, there is no contrast. Lying is not irony: the person being ironic wants you to see the contrast – this person wants you to know it is not great their car died; the liar does not want you to see the contrast, and would be a annoyed if you saw it.

Metaphor (AKA symbolism, AKA analogy AKA imagery, AKA figurative language AKA figure AKA meaning)

Metaphor is similarity: it compares two different things and emphasizes what makes them similar; another way of looking at this is something stands in for a something else, represents that thing, because it has some kind of similarity to that thing. If taken literally metaphor will make no sense. For example “Tiger Tiger burning bright” does not indicate that the tiger is on fire: the tiger is being compared to fire because they are both deadly, orange and beautiful. The story may give you the two things being compared and tell you what they have in common, you might just get the two things being compared and you have to think what they have in common (think of as many things as you can), or it may just give you something and you have to figure out that is it a metaphor for something bigger than itself (a character might be a metaphor for a type of person in the world of the audience, a monster in a movie may represent for the audience a non-supernatural fear — Godzilla is a metaphor for the atomic bomb, King Kong is a metaphor for American slavery, Vampires are often metaphors for the wealthy). One thing can be a metaphor for two totally different things. The poet Allan Grossman in Summa Lyrica says “Metaphor is a device for reducing the unknowability of the fact by eroding its uniqueness.” There is a moment in Proust’s In Search of Lost Time where he is at a restaurant and he feels like the tables are like planets and remarks “And I rather pitied all the diners because I felt that for them the tables were not planets and that they had not cut through the scheme of things in such a way as to be delivered from the bondage of habitual appearances and enabled to perceive analogies [metaphors].” There dozens of different kinds of metaphor. Personification is something human standing in for something non-human like the grim reaper being a metaphor for death; in allegory or parable the whole story is one big metaphor (Jesus and Socrates often tell stories like this); simile is a metaphor that uses “like” or “as,” synecdoche uses a part of something to represent the whole, like referring to the king as “The Crown”; hyperbole is a metaphor using exaggeration (a person so hungry the are similar to a large animal that would eat a horse). Knowing the kinds can be useful but I don’t generally operate on that level. Large Metaphors will get you very close to idea — if the main thing in the story is a metaphor than the idea is just the creator’s opinion on what the metaphor refers to. Why was this metaphor was chosen and not another (in the tiger metaphor above: cancer is deadly like fire but neither orange nor beautiful)

Ideas (AKA theme AKA message AKA meaning AKA moral AKA ideology AKA philosophy AKA what is it saying AKA the point)

The philosophical meaning, the point it is making, or the general problem it is exploring; in philosophy the ideas are primary but in art may be secondary or tertiary. Simpler art tends to set up a problem and then provide a solution (the moral of the story) while more advanced art explores a problem that may not have a solution (this is why the more “arty” something is the more likely it will have a downer ending). As professor Jason Schneiderman says “literature is an archive of unsolvable problems.” One way of thinking about art is to consider that art is a form of thinking: the artist making the art is thinking through ideas in a way not dissimilar to the way people think to themselves or the way college students write essays. “Love is most important thing in the world” is the idea behind most romantic movies. “What is the point where violence goes too far” is the idea explored by many revenge movies, which often leave you to wonder if the guy overdid it, if his revenge was worth the price on his soul or the collateral damage. Many different ideas can be in the same work of art; many different works of art have the same ideas. Keep in mind audiences may take away very different ideas than the author intended, and audiences may not realize why they like something — the real ideas they are attracted to may be different from what they will tell you if you ask. Many people will tell you they watch serial killer movies because they want to see justice done but what they really enjoy is imaging being the killer and having power over attractive teens. Even stories that are just fun adventure movies that appear to have no message or politics contain ideas that are so big you don’t notice them, implying that you should think billionaires are brilliant, or trust the police, or that you should expect women to be nurturing and passive and provide sex as a reward. Imagine why you think the author might have wanted to explore this idea in this particular story — and not some other story. Imagine what ideas different audiences get out of this particular story — what ideas do they care about in this story and not some other one. Consider other works of art with the same theme. One way to discover the idea is to describe the story as abstractly as possible while removing all references to anything supernatural (“The Little Mermaid teaches viewers that it is a good idea for a young woman to get body modification to please a hunky guy at the expense of her ability to express complex thoughts”).

Craft (AKA style AKA form AKA art for art’s sake AKA beauty AKA aesthetics AKA composition)

Craft looks at why the person forming the art made the choices they did with the material they were using, and is the most extreme example of “the cube”. The form is the material the art is made out of, the things with very few exceptions such as Deadpool or Bugs Bunny, the characters absolutely cannot see. Craft is different for each art form. If it is painting you are going to be thinking about brush strokes or color choices, and in music it’s going to be the instrumentation. If it is a story you might think about genre, or why is the story told in something other than chronological order, why it is paced the way it is, why the story has an omniscient narrator rather than being told in first person, why it starts where it does or ends where it does, or what the title means. In musicals that are not about putting on a show the songs are often on the level of craft — the characters are often not aware they are singing and dancing (how could so many people know the exact same dance steps without rehearsal): the singing and dancing is how the author uses craft to communicate the strong feelings of the character to the audience. Students are often surprised to see me elated after a bleak movie where everyone has died — they are sad for the characters in the story-world; I am enjoying the craft. Thinking about craft, describe and discuss why you imagine the creator made the choices they did and what effects you imagine those choices have on the audience, as opposed to different choices. See if there is a link between the craft and the ideas or irony or metaphors or story-world. Is the story crafted in a way to reinforce those things?

[through-the-untempered-schism]

Dear Taylor

Dear Taylor:

I'm so sorry that you had to watch a lot of us suffer trying (and mostly failing) to get tickets, unable to do anything to stop it and make it better. Truly. But 2.4 million FANS did not get tickets. You're a smart, talented business woman who loves us, and we wouldn't be selling such a high volume of tickets on the secondary market ALREADY at such a huge mark-up. If you don't know yet, I'm sure you'll know soon, TM works with scalpers, goes to their conferences, and works real hard to get them tickets because that's how TM makes money - off their resale fees (which are percentage based, so higher resale = higher cut). And I hate to say this, really truly because I've been with you since the beginning, gone to Target when my store did a midnight release (time, not the album), purchased music videos on iTunes (I feel old), filled notebooks with decoded lyrics...you know, nothing special, just the normal fan things that unite all of us. But because I've been around so long and admired you as an artist and business woman, I find it really hard to believe that you didn’t know TM operated like this. That you didn’t know other, smaller artists (and big ones) have limited resell prices to face value. But if you didn’t, then I guess you didn’t. 

Going forward though, maybe you can change that. Maybe you can somehow be a part of a movement that works to eliminate some of the predatory means that TM uses to make money. You’ve done it before when people thought it couldn’t be done. You’ve gone toe to toe with some of the biggest names in the industry and come out on top. We’ve cheered you on every time. I want to keep cheering you on as you do it again and again. Here are just a few things you could maybe think about in terms of TM:

Unlimited accounts. TM has been caught saying to scalpers that they have no desire to limit the number of accounts they have.

No identification on the resale market. The process is anonymous,  allowing scalpers to sell numerous tickets to their name without buyers knowing they’re selling numerous other tickets. Making sure that accounts are tied to real ID’s and that people can’t have multiple of them would eliminate people trying to get around non-anonymous sales by making different accounts with different names.

Dynamic/Platinum pricing. I’m sure you’ve already heard of this. It was announced for Ed Sheeran that he was turning it off for his concert. We didn’t get that announcement. Fans reported ticket prices changing as they added them to their account, lost it from site glitches, then tried adding it again.

There’s also a rumor (I have literally no evidence for this beyond anecdotal from being on the discord servers, reddit, and twitter two days in a row) that not only did the boosts we received do nothing, they might’ve even ‘boosted’ us to the back of the line. Even though the queue ticker doesn’t show you your exact place in line above 2,000 people in front of you, there’s a way to go into the source code of the page and see your exact place. Many boosted people were somewhere from 15,000-25,000 in line. Non-boosted might’ve been closer. Not a universal experience, but enough to show that they truly were worthless, if not outright hurtful.

Another thing to consider - a lot of us didn’t appreciate how VIP packages were tied to specificrandomseats. I don’t have any objection to a lot of front row stage/lower bowl seats being VIP (though I think it would be nice to have some that aren’t to allow fans with less economical means but equally dedicated to have that experience). But it was insulting and a hard pill to swallow when seats 4-19 rows back in all tiers (lower and way up high bowls) were also marked up by hundreds of dollars because they were VIP. And by the time most of us got in, that’s all that was left (until even those were gone). 

No matter what, I’ll always be in your corner rooting for you to succeed and celebrating when you do. I can also make space for the fact that a failure occurred here, likely intentionally on TM’s part, and at least with culpable ignorance on yours. That doesn’t erode my faith that you’ll still try to do something to make this right. I believe you still have that power. When you lost the opportunity to buy your masters, you mourned, but you also found a solution in re-recording your albums that’s turned into being the most amazing gift for us (and hopefully you as well). You’ve gone to court to fight harassment for one dollar to show that it’s the behavior, not the money that matters. You’ve dropped albums without telling your record company until the last hour in order to deliver your vision of a finished product. You went to war with Apple Music and won. And if you really can’t do anything in this situation, if you’re bound by some ironclad contract that you regret signing now, then I hope you can at least acknowledge why a lot of us are still feeling so duped after this statement that fails to lay out any precautionary measures you could’ve taken, a claim that 2.4 million fans have tickets, and no plan or intention to try rectifying this somehow. Or even a proclamation that you wish you could, but your hands are tied for reasons you cannot disclose. Honor us and our intelligence and our dedication to you, that we will stand with you through the good and bad, the tribulations and [Roman] triumphs. We’re all human, none of us are perfect, we all mess up. That’s okay. Just please don’t leave us drowning in the pouring rain <3

#taylor swift #tour #the eras tour #eras tour #taylor swift tour #ticketmaster #taylor nation #fan response #love you forever and always but for realsie #she probably won't ever see this but writing is cathartic #tswizzles

[catlady-ily]

dear diary;

school was pretty alright!! quite sunny again which was cool :3

I had my math test today, and I think I did alright!! I’m not overly confident, but it should hopefully be enough for me to pass. one of my friends who was away for a bit didn’t realise there was a test so I handed him a spare copy of my notes (we’re allowed to bring them into the test) - lucky for him though, he was allowed to go into a different room to study as he had been away.

during period 4, we had an assembly against vaping - which, I’m going to admit, didn’t really interest me much seeing as how I don’t vape, I don’t plan on ever vaping, and the people I generally surround myself with have pretty similar views on it, but I didn’t mind getting out of english since I didn’t actually do my homework- speaking of homework, my parents got a bit mad at me because I didn’t do my math homework and they found out- whoops-

anyways, I crocheted a bit further!! realised I screwed up a little on some of the squares, but it should be ok. I used some of my thinner yarn and made myself a little bookmark, might post some pics and some point, I rlly like it!!! I’m thinking maybe I can show my gf tomorrow and if he likes it I might make her one too >w<

during sport today, last period, the funniest and most embarrassing thing happened - so for context, at some point during IT class this term, we had to decode each other’s messages, the person whose I was decoding, his was “I want to have sex with (let’s call him johnny)”. the then sent me an email with another message, which ended up deciding to “what is your opinion on the legalisation of marujana?” to which I responded to him, out loud, and very loudly for that matter “at least it’s not as bad as ‘I want to have sex with johnny’!” and johnny heard this. out of context. later, johnny emails me a link to this roblox video on his youtube channel (for the record, johnny and I have never really communicated before this). I feel bad, but I didn’t know how to respond so I left him on read. anyways, today during sport class, my friends and I were spilling tea, and I told them about this. johnny happens to be in a sport class running the same time as us, that also happened to be outside on a similar area today, doing laps of the oval. now, just my damn luck, I say the bit about “I want to have sex with johnny” very. loudly. bc I have shitty volume regulation. RIGHT AS JOHNNY IS RUNNING PAST. AND HE LOOKS AT ME. HE FRICKEN LOOKED AT ME. MY FRIEND POINTED IT OUT AND I FELL OVER LAUGHING ASJSHDKSHDJSBS I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. hoping, begging and praying that nothing bad comes of this. wish me luck-

anyways, I don’t really have anything else to talk about, so I think I’ll end it there, baii!!~

love, kitty 💕

#dear diary #diary entry #personal diary #imtryingmybest #im trying to romanticise my life idk whether or not it’s going well #girlboss

[truthshield]

Opportunities for Indian Entrepreneurs in Dubai

Decoding the business opportunities for Indians in Dubai The Middle East and Africa region is fast becoming a haven for clean-energy investors as governments are launching programmes that support an ambitious renewable energy capacity. It is noteworthy that UAE is carrying out concerted efforts to create a more environmentally sustainable model in areas of mobility, agriculture, construction, and power generation. Dubai’s booming sustainability story is inspirational as the city attracts a new wave of investments. All this has opened up fresh avenues for businesses wanting to set their foot in Dubai. It is thus, for a reason that the city is referred to as the test-bed for global start-ups looking for glorious opportunities. In the words of Norberto Cibien – MD, Product Lead – Middle East, Accenture, “Dubai is well positioned from a geographical perspective. It’s a hub and has a lot of connections with the rest of the globe. Dubai is multinational in nature, which makes it a vibrant environment, where there is a mix of cultures, and this is also used to check if the idea of a start-up can work from different perspectives.” The Dubai government is known for their quick decision making and strict policy implementation. Innovations are accorded high attention and the government is always keen on investing in newer and more promising technologies. What is attracting Indian entrepreneurs to Dubai Indian entrepreneurs too are fast turning to Dubai with their business ideas, since not just is the environment feasible for businesses to bloom here, but also because setting up their trade in this hub enables them to hire global talent, and be better connected with other parts of the globe. The scheme which was announced in 2019 has been another major trigger for Indians to consider the UAE as a preferred destination for setting up their business. The Golden Visa is a long-term residence visa which allows foreign talents to live, and work or study in the UAE for up to 10 years. Investors and entrepreneurs are among the many other categories that are eligible for the Golden Visa. Ease of setting up business, sound infrastructure, low taxes on running a business, and a friendlier policy environment are some of the key attractions under the Golden Visa scheme that are pulling more and more Indians to the Emirate. Intelak and how does it support entrepreneurs Intelak is a Dubai-based technology and innovation hub that supports start-ups, both in early and late stages with mentorship, tools and resources to set up businesses and give shape to their ideas. The programmes offers 3 aspects that can be very useful for start-ups. First is the Intelak Incubator, which helps start-ups right from incubating their ideas to building it, and educating them on the kind of technologies they can use, etc. The second is , which addresses the more mature start-ups, and the third aspect is the Idea Lab, which helps people who have smart ideas but don’t know how to turn them into a potential business. Applying to the Intelak hub helps companies with unique opportunities to work with some of the biggest companies, brands, and experienced leaders in the industry. Having a brilliant idea is just part of the job done, one needs funding, backing and support to turn a dream business into reality, and Intelak helps to do that. It is noteworthy that nearly 30 per cent of the start-up community in Dubai is from India, and the city clearly wants more talent to join, especially from the tech field. Programmes that are being run for small businesses, further help start-ups in getting funding, collaborating with reputed and established companies, and in marketing their produce to a wider base. (This is a sponsored article) https://ift.tt/iDJg3Oj https://ift.tt/6Xo3cqn

#Saas #softwaresystems #productdevelopment #software #practice #optimization #accuracy #efficiency #productivity #softwareprojects #cracksthecode

[vittruplamont47]

Improving the Reading Expertise Of Blog Visitors

One of the least complicated ways to provide people a far better reading experience any time you post up-dates to your blog site through ignoring your current dictionary! Visitors which arrive at your program are searching for interesting content but is not to end up being challenged because of your employ of 'big' terms when reading your posts! Actually there are usually 3 compelling reasons for any doodlekit to be aware of the words and phrases they choose to use on their site! Platform Reason Most blogging programs automatically make 'adjustments' to align or middle your words in order to improve the aesthetic appearance! This is a great excellent feature and also a terrific aid to be able to anyone who regularly post updates to their site! On the other hands however using words and phrases that contain numerous letters can in fact cause altering the spacing between words! What that signifies is that if the wording includes several characters it may well NOT allow sufficient space to match your sentence about that line! Any time the platform quickly 'justifies' or middle the spacing in order to compensate this generally results in dual spacing! get more info will make that particular sentence in your essay look funny in order to people reading you since the sleep of your revise is using individual spacing! Using more compact and easier to understand wording will help to prevent this kind of from happening! Studying Ease People have much too many choices while searching for something in order to read on the web! Getting made that period does indeed it make sense to 'challenge' folks reading your posts with the need to 'decode' what you composed due to the extensive vocabulary might presented them! In addition to is it certainly not easier for you as the writer to simply state what's on the mind without talking about the dictionary for making yourself sound smart? Just asking! Universal Appeal Without all those fascinating displays of the vocabulary more folks are able to very easily know what you published! This makes reading your current posts not only simpler but more pleasant as well! Today whenever you post up-dates visitors will CERTAINLY NOT need a book but rather could now fully take pleasure in the interesting articles you have introduced to them! It most simply boils down to men and women, no matter just what their intelligence degree, to be able to take some thing faraway from what you have created! Remember no matter how insightful, entertaining or perhaps informative your items may be, if readers don't recognize what they're browsing, your time and energy are wasted! Being a blogger you would like to always be conscious of the reading through experience you offer visitors when a person post updates! Now obviously interesting information will be a major element of increasing the particular satisfaction of folks reading your content but you furthermore want what you wrote to display properly as effectively as be easy to read! Our discussion above points out typically the drawbacks associated using the use involving an extensive vocabulary any time blogging! On typically the other hand whenever resisting the temptations to display your vocabulary and instead write to be able to be understood an individual can and may make any intriguing content you write-up understandable to just about all!

#click here #more info #here #read more #website #get more info #check here #Additional hints #Additional info

[victorianpining]

TBB is the decoder episode??

Oh gosh, where to even start with this one... Apologies in advance this is going to be long.

So ASIP basically covers the meeting of Sherlock and John, establishes their dynamic, both characters' want/need conflict, and ends with the writers literally telling the audience "hey their relationship is going to be important, keep a close eye on it.”

Then we start TBB and the right off the bat there's this tension between Sherlock and John, seemingly out of no where based on where we left them headed off to a Chinese restaurant (haha not subtle guys) at the end of ASIP. If you happened to do your homework though, you'll know from Sherlock's website (recreation by venusplanter) that Mike Stamford let Sherlock know about John's blog and Sherlock read these entries, including John's descriptions of him, and decided not to tell John he knows about it.

Instead when we see him again he's turning down cases and acting extremely warm and (I'd say) flirtatious with John, clearly trying to take the feedback from the blog and dispel the idea that he's unfeeling or an oblivious child. John doesn't know this and just assumes Sherlock isn't aware of normal boundaries and he's kind of losing his mind because he's extremely attracted to Sherlock but Sherlock already turned him down once. So they both already have feelings for each other but their failure to just talk about it is causing issues. That's essentially the emotional conflict of the episode, they're both being blind.

That's background stuff though. In the foreground is a case that introduces (or reinforces) every trick the show is going to use from here on out. Which is appropriate because the main details of the case are all taken from the beginning of The Valley of Fear. We get both the code where the cipher is a commonly owned book, and multiple people who have been branded to show their involvement in a criminal organization. Thematically, The Valley of Fear references suggest that the show is going to pull a Birdie Edwards, that there’s a long game that cannot be revealed until the victory is secured. They don’t tell us directly there’s a game, but here they show us the pieces they’re playing with.

Lets start with my favorite: mirror characters. While the cabbie’s victims were all John mirrors and Hope himself is either John or Sherlock depending on how you read him, this episode is where they start really using mirror characters. This is most obvious with Soo-Lin and Andy’s love story

Which ends up being foiled because of the actions of Soo-Lin (Sherlock’s) brother. Because he got caught up with the criminal organization.

Hm. Interesting that.

There are a few others. I read Eddie Van Coon as John, though I know most people read the PA as John and Eddie as Sherlock. My reason for that is that in this episode specifically, John is a preoccupied with money “The only things Eddie appreciated had a big price tag” and Sherlock feels rejected and unappreciated by him “I thought he didn’t appreciate me. Took me for granted. Stood me up once too often.” There’s also the journalist who I would also say is John but I’m less attached to that one.

We also get more some good old locked rooms and Sherlock sitting with John while he doesn’t eat. Why would anyone want to do that?

Then there’s the tea pots. Oh boy the teapots.

These important historical relics (the Holmes stories) aren’t meant to sit behind glass. Instead they are meant to be used (retold) and specially they need to be touched to to make tea. If we’re reading tea in Private Life terms, this is a subtle way of saying that they plan to finally remove the barrier from the stories and tell the romance that was always there between Holmes and Watson.

And all of this is emphasized by Sherlock and John having repeated conversations about codes and hidden messages.

Yeah. Their word is made up of codes and ciphers. That’s the point.

So with all that said, let’s look at the climax of the episode. The Moriarty mirror kidnaps who she believes are Sherlock and his love interest. She then proceeds to try to threaten “Sherlock” into doing what she wants by putting his “pretty companion” in mortal danger. Specifically there is a giant stake aimed at her heart.

I have a bit of a fixation on literal hearts representing emotional ones at the moment. So the idea that this is set up for the actual final showdown. That it’s going to end with Moriarty threatening John’s literal heart to burn Sherlock’s emotional one... Well, I find that idea fascinating. If you hadn’t already picked up on that.

#asks #rebs blogging

[the-witty-pen-name]

Deadbeat Pt. 2

Lee Bodecker x F!Reader

18+ ONLY

Read Part One

Warnings: age gap (reader is 21), smut, cursing, abandonment, infatuation, cheating/divorce, angst, mild housewife kink, this chapter talks about Reverend Teagardin/his actions towards the young girls in the story (nothing is described in detail- just accusations discussing how he gives off bad vibes and is creepy- if you’ve seen the film you already know)

Word Count: 5k

Summary: You work at the bar at the edge of town, the Sheriff is going through a divorce and needs to rent a room.

A/N: I’m terrible at writing summaries and I’m so sorry about that! I don’t think I would consider this a dark!fic, but it does cover a lot of themes, and topics that are darker than I usually write about- but I think that comes with the territory of writing about Lee Bodecker. I’ll make sure to update the warnings for each chapter and do not read if you are underage. I also ignored canon for this one.

I hope you all enjoy!

Tags and Requests are OPEN

It was always so hot in that little one room chapel. There was no fan and everyone would be crushed in together like sardines. The air was always sticky and it turned everyone sluggish. Your mama never brought you and Tommy to church, but you saw how that singled you out in this community. The judgmental looks people would give you for not going always made you feel like they viewed your family as trailer trash. So when they left, you started going regular like everyone else. You wanted to make a good impression and give yourself an opportunity to be more involved in the community. You used to attend with Arvin’s family, but now you sit on the opposite side of the aisle.

You and Arvin were still on friendly terms. On your nights off, sometimes you’d be invited to join them for supper. Ever since you and Arvin broke up, you’ve politely denied his grandmother’s thoughtful invitations. Now that you were living alone with the Sheriff, you wouldn’t anticipate any more neighborly invitations but instead prayers to save your soul, like you weren’t already damned for ‘peddling the Devil’s drink’ as you’ve heard alcohol referred to so many times by Ms. Russell.

You didn’t care much for the new reverend, and you found yourself often zoning out during his sermons. You were more preoccupied with the uncomfortableness of the pews and how your thighs felt like you’d be ripping giant band-aids off the back of them when you stand up after the service ended- even if it was a cooler day. Reverend Teagardin made a terrible first impression in your opinion, and he never did nothing to make you think you were misjudging him. You trusted the Sheriff’s advice to steer clear of him. Though based on the liking he’d taken to talking to the high school aged girls after service ended, you were thinking you were too old for him anyways. You shook your head, chastising yourself for joking about something like that even just to yourself. You made sure to tell Lee whenever he did something to tip you off that he might be trouble. You didn’t trust him one bit.

After the service, you were almost ambushed by a couple of women who were notoriously known for being the town’s busy bodies. The shorter of the two was Ethel Perry, who absolutely wreaked of cigarette smoke and always carried a little beaded purse. The other was Ida Sinclair, whose hair was a silver blue, and always wore a turtleneck and a thick sweater overtop even in the middle of hot summer days. They were sweet ladies, and normally you’d love to gab and let them fill you in on all the town gossip. They were great to talk to. But now that you were on the other side of their gossip, their nice demeanor felt much more predatory now that they were seeking you out for information instead of sharing it.

“Sweetheart,” Ida said sweetly, cornering you outside by the steps. “You poor thing how are you holding up?” You were buttoning up your jacket, when the pair snuck up on you, catching you off guard.

“Oh Mrs. Sinclair, I’m doing just fine. No need to worry about me,” you say, giving them a small smile.

“Is it true you’re renting a room to Sheriff Bodecker?” Ms. Perry interjects, not even bothering with the small talk. You almost respected her more direct approach, the small talk Ms. Sinclair was attempting to make made you feel a tinge resentful of their attitude towards you.

“Yes, ma’am,” you reply, not giving her anymore details. If she wanted the gossip, she’d need to own up to being direct in her behavior.

“We heard Janie kicked him out of the house,” Mrs. Sinclair said, her face plastered with worry like she felt sorry for the man. You smiled through your teeth and nodded.

“Makes sense,” Ms. Perry added, “Him needing a room and with your mama leaving you here alone and all.”

“Yes, ma’am,” you say smiling through your teeth, you hadn’t realized you were grinding down on them that hard.

“Ms. Beaumont was going on and on yesterday about how it wasn’t fitting,” Ms. Perry continued. “You being a young single girl- working at that terrible bar, renting out a room to a man. She was insinuating something awful- but don’t worry dear. We know she’s just being meddlesome and trying to stir the pot where she shouldn’t.”

“Thank you, Ms. Perry,” you responded, sarcastically but they didn’t pick up on it. “It was lovely seeing you both,” you say, stepping away, “but I should be heading home now.”

“Too bad the Sheriff doesn’t come to Church,” Mrs. Sinclair, said, “He could be driving you, so you don’t have to be walking.”

The Sheriff worked on Sunday mornings and both of them knew that. You knew it was just an attempt to insinuate something else you didn’t have the patience to try to decode. You just nodded as a goodbye and started walking home. It never took long to walk, and you wouldn’t bother the Sheriff for a ride unless you really needed one- like if it was bad weather or if you were leaving work too late at night. You didn’t mind walking at all- gave you a chance to just clear your head and enjoy the fresh air, especially after getting out of that stuffy chapel.

You knew the Sheriff actually wasn’t working today. He told you this morning he was going to the courthouse to sign his divorce papers and then to pick up his stuff at the house. You’d see him later on that night when he finished that whole mess. It was the quickest divorce you’d ever seen. Neither one of them seemed to care to get lawyers. Based on what Lee told you so far, he really just was fine with her taking anything she asked for- including the house. His indifference to the whole thing really was like no divorce you’d ever heard about. You sympathized, because it was just him not wanting to prolong the painful ordeal of it all. He just wanted to get it all over and done with, and you understood that.

When you got home, you changed out of your Sunday dress and into some work clothes. A pair of overalls, a short sleeved tshirt and a pair of your old saddle shoes. You protected your hair with a bandana and decided to get to work. You got some free cardboard boxes from the grocer yesterday, and you resolved to help Lee out and clear out all of your mom’s old stuff. You told him when he left to leave the door unlocked for you and it would be cleared out as best you could get it so he’d had somewhere to put his stuff when he got back.

You started with the closet and getting rid of all her clothes. You’d call the donation center tomorrow and they’d send someone to come pick it all up. You weren’t sentimental about anything that belonged to her. Much like the Sheriff and his divorce, you just wanted to get this stuff out of the house and get the chore over with. You kept the photographs, and some of the things you knew might be worth something, like any of the jewelry she’d left in her jewelry box. You took anything that was hers and either tossed it or put it in the large donation pile.

You knew the weather tonight would be fine, so you opted to carry all the boxes outside and stack them on the porch. You figured it would be better and easier to deal with if you piled the full boxes outside before they came tomorrow. You didn’t touch Tommy’s room. You figured there was no need, and he was the only one out of the two you had a small amount of hope would someday come back, even if it was just to visit.

You closed the first box, and carried it down the hall and down the stairs slowly because it blocked your vision. At the bottom of the stairs, you propped the box on your hip so you could open the door. You then walked sideways out of the front door to drop it on the porch. As you were walking out you saw the familiar cruiser, driving down the road. You smiled, actually liking the feeling of having someone living with you. It was a little exciting. It was clouded by terrible circumstances on both your parts, but you hadn’t realized how lonely you had been living alone- even if it had only been a couple of days of Lee being here.

When Lee saw you walk out on the porch, he almost hit the garage door. You looked absolutely gorgeous, sweaty from working around the house and moving boxes. His heart felt strained in his chest when you smiled at him. That right there made his whole shitty day worth it. He hated facing Janie, scribbling his signature fast as ever on every document thrown at him. He hated that she was there with Miller, him standing behind her with his hand on her shoulder comforting her, like she wasn’t the adulterer in the room. It was infuriating.

He felt like a stranger in his own goddamn house, rummaging through everything grabbing what was his. Janie watched him like a hawk, following him around and saying nothing, like he wasn’t to be trusted to not take something. What like he’d steal something that was his? He hardly spoke two words to her. Miller sitting in his recliner, watching the news on the television. She made no attempt to even shield him from the look of another man living there. She wasted no time, announcing she’d be marrying the bastard as Lee was leaving. He mumbled a ‘congratulations’ and loaded the few boxes he had into the trunk of the cruiser.

Now seeing you there standing on the porch, all the bullshit he had to put up with today seemed worth it. It was grounding. He sighed, tossing his hat on the seat, and zipping up his leather jacket- ignoring the way it was fitting a little snugger. As he fumbled with the zipper, his mind started to wander- thoughts always clouded with you. He was usually able to keep his feeling pushed away when he was out, but the second he would see you again, all progress was lost. And here you are, like you were waiting for him to come back to you.

“I still have a few more boxes,” you say as he closes the door to the cruiser.

“I can move them,” he tries to protest, but you’ve already disappeared back into the house. He gets his own boxes out of the trunk and brings them into the house, leaving them on the living room floor for now. He hangs up his coat on the coatrack, on the hook next to yours, and then heads up the narrow staircase to see if he can help you. He gets to his room and he stops in the doorway, dead in his tracks. You’re on the floor, on your knees in front of a box, using a roll of packing tape to secure it shut. His heart stops and he’s frozen. He stutters to make himself known, but you don’t seem to notice the way he reacted to you. He’s relieved that you don’t seem to miss a beat, pushing the box in his direction, your way of telling him he can bring it outside. You stretch over and pull another box in front of you and begin placing folded clothes that were on the floor inside just to fill it to the brim completely before closing it.

That silent assembly line of the two of you makes the work go by quick. You have six large boxes ready to get picked up tomorrow sitting on the front porch, and Lee is able to bring his stuff upstairs. You decide to let him have some time to just settle, and you get started on what to do for dinner when you see it getting pretty late in the afternoon.

There was never any spoken agreement that you’d both eat together. It just kind of happens on its on the past two nights he’s been here. You’d be making dinner for yourself anyways, and making something for two isn’t that much more work. You know he doesn’t expect you to cook for him at all, but since you were taking up the kitchen anyways you don’t mind. You weren’t the best cook, but you’re pretty sure your cooking beats a cold sandwich from the diner.

Upstairs, Lee was letting his emotions get the best of him. His ever-present feelings for you- he actually wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe it was just an attraction, or maybe he was so used to coldness from Janie that he’s falling apart at a woman being nice to him and treating like a person. He needed to pull himself together. He closed his eyes for a second, picturing how you looked packing the boxes up. On your knees, the overalls hugging your figure, the little bit of sweat on your brow- it was the best sight he ever got the pleasure of seeing. He looks at the mirror that sat in the corner of the room. He sighs looking over his appearance.

There’s no way a beautiful, young girl like you would look at him the same way, as much as he wished it. His slightly protruding stomach, a sign of all the drinking and his bad diet. He had a little bit of a double chin from angles as well. He sticks is neck out to try to remember what his face looked like when his jaw was more defined. He realizes how ridiculous he was being. He didn’t think you were the kind of person to care that much about the things that very much bothered him. He runs a hand through his hair, and continues to hang up his shirts in the closet. You were turning him soft, and you had no idea.

He hears you coming up the stairs, and he feels his heartbeat quicken like you were going to catch him thinking about you. He was being so stupid, he chastises himself. He couldn’t have you affecting him like this. He turned his head and catches your eye as you are heading into the bathroom in the hallway.

“Just washing up before supper,” you say casually, and heading into the bathroom. He had to pull himself together. He sighed, thinking about your sweetness and hospitality ever since he showed up at your door two nights ago. You welcomed him into your home without a second thought. You trusted him, and that made him feel even more guilty. He couldn’t be thinking that anything between the two of you could happen. He needed to be a good man. But Christ, how even could a good man keep himself in check when he’s in such close quarters with you?

“Made mac and cheese with some grilled chicken if you’re hungry,” you say, not looking back at him but just immediately heading back down the hallway and down the stairs. He watched you walk away, biting his lip at how your ass looked in that denim. He gently hits his head against the mirror, like that’s somehow going to snap him out of it. He makes a fist and then stretches out his hands like that will do anything.

“Ms. Perry and Mrs. Sinclair cornered me outside Church today,” you said with a chuckle, as he came into the kitchen.

“Yeah?” he asks, taking the plate you hand to him. He opens up the drawer and grabs silverware for him and yourself while you put your plate together.

“Yeah,” you grinned, biting your lip. “I’m the talk of the town apparently.”

“I’m sorry about that, hun,” he says sympathetically, “That’s all my fault.”

“No, it’s not,” you say, walking over to your kitchen table and taking a seat. “I find them kind of funny,” you shrug, “They were talking about me long before this and this is just the newest thing.”

“What did they say?” he asks, as he takes his seat across from you. It was a small table, only was able to seat two comfortably, anymore would be too crowded.

“They think I should be using you as a ride to Church,” you reply, “Also that our situation ain’t fitting according to Ms. Beaumont. But they insisted they don’t think that at all.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” he grins.

“I thought she was gonna ask me how much I’m charging you for rent next,” you scoff before taking a bit of food.

“Do they bother you?” he asks. He felt bad at how this living situation would affect you. He understood how much keeping up appearances mattered in this town. If someone were to start a nasty rumor, your name would be tarnish all over town. You might as well start wearing a big red A on your jacket.

“Not really,” you shrug. “It bothered me in the moment, cause they cornered me, but I have no reason to be worried. It’s not like anything they say is gonna amount to anything without evidence. They can insinuate all they want.”

The word evidence hung heavy on his mind. His brain running through scenarios if you both actually had something worth hiding. Kissing you in the backseat of the cruiser pulled into some back road by the water somewhere or sneaking touches under the table at the diner. It wouldn’t be wrong, not really, he thought to himself. You’re an adult and if you felt the same way fuck what the town would think.

You actually thought the Sheriff was quite handsome. You hadn’t really been able to look past how intimidating he looked sometimes or his gruff exterior. The man sitting across from you was not like the guy that makes the town cower away from him at times. He was relaxed, his face especially. It was a rare form for him. The man seemed to constantly be stressed, full of pent-up tension, no doubt due to the stress of his job. You noticed that his eyes looked softer, and how blue they were. Suddenly, you realized it was just you and him- alone. Living in your house. You felt your face heat up, and he picked up on your change in demeanor.

“You alright?” he asks, looking over at you.

“Yeah,” you say, a little nervously. “Just need some water.”

You get up and head over to the cabinet next to the sink, and you reach up to get yourself a glass. Suddenly, you feel his presence behind you, making you jump. He’s just reaching to get himself a glass too, his body pressing very lightly against you. He gives you a concerned look as you look flustered and you let out a small gasp.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya,” he says, and you could almost swear you saw him smirking. He takes his glass over to the fridge and pours himself some of the iced-tea from the pitcher you keep inside the fridge.

“I think you’re right about Reverend Teagardin,” you say, trying desperately to reorient yourself.

“He’s no good,” Lee agreed. “He’s crooked. Just be careful around him, sweetheart.” Those damn pet names were making your stomach churn with butterflies.

“I think I’m too old to be on his radar,” you admit quietly, in a rushed tone. Your accusation hushed, even if it was just you and Lee.

“You see him do anything?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, not really,” you say, “but he talks for an awful long time to the high school aged girls after services. I don’t know it just gives me a gut feeling about him. Those poor girls, like Lenora- they don’t know when their being sweet talked and manipulated. Just makes me nervous. Married man talking to those girls so shamelessly- charming them.”

“I’ll try to swing by and check the place out,” he nods, looking a little lost in thought.

“That’ll make me feel so much better,” you smile. He grins and licks his lips, before taking a swig of his drink.

You both take a seat at the table again, finishing up dinner fairly quickly. You asked him about his day and he told you all about Miller and the papers, and you listened intently. You felt bad he had to go through that. Yeah, Lee was not a picture-perfect husband by any means, you were sure. But the actions he faced today still sounded harsh. Somewhere in your mind, you thought he deserved better. Maybe he didn’t, but the man was clearly in pain and it tugs at your heartstrings.

“Since you made dinner, I can clean up,” he offered.

“That’s really sweet. Thanks, Lee,” you smile shyly. This all felt so… domestic. You were acting like a married couple. It’s not like the two of you could help it. You were living under the same roof and existing in the same space. This is how people who live together interact. That’s it. Right?

“I think I’ll call and leave a message at the donation center so they send someone to get those boxes tomorrow,” you decide. You head over to the living room where you kept your phone, pulling out your address book out of a drawer in the table the phone rested on. Lee nodded, taking your dishes and his own over to the sink.

You sit on the couch, criss cross and hold the base of the phone on one knee, resting the receiver up to your ear with your elbow. You dial the number, the phone clicking every time the dial falls back into place.

Lee can’t make out what you are saying, but he chuckles recognizing the tone of voice you use- like a customer service voice he’ll hear you pull out at the bar often. He does the dishes, and just lets himself escape into his fantasies again. His mind was racing about what those women at Church thought was happening between the two of you. He knows its wrong, but god he wishes it was real.

He imagines that after you both have gone to bed you show up at his door in the middle of the night- looking like how you did the night you agreed to let him stay. You confess how much you want him and he just pulls you into a rushed kiss- you just overtaken by the sudden relief of all the pent-up tension. He imagines how it would feel to hear little moans against his lips coming from you when he slips his tongue into your mouth. He can almost feel what it would be like to have you tightly against his body. His hands being allowed to just freely explore you and how you must look under him, begging and needy-

“Okay, that’s all set,” you announce walking back into the kitchen. “Hopefully they’ll send someone over first thing.”

“G-good, yeah,” he stutters out, pulling himself out of his daydream. “Do you have work tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I go in at 4,” you reply, not noticing how flustered he is. He’s relieved to see you looking in the fridge and it gives him a chance to adjust before you saw how hard he was.

“Need a ride?” He asks. “I can pick you up on my way home.”

“Perfect,” you smile when you turn to face him. “Thank you. I’m gonna see if there is anything good on the television we can watch.”

“Sounds good, doll,” he says, relieved when she finally heads back into the other room, taking her seat on the couch again, clicking through the channels.

He needed a minute before heading in there. Every time you were in the room he felt like his skin was on fire. He knew if he wanted to stay, he needed to get a grip. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. He joined you in the living room and sat on the other end of the couch. There was an old picture playing on the black and white set.

Neither of you could pay attention to the damn screen no matter how hard you tried. The tension in the room- between the both of you was borderline unbearable. Both of you were stealing glances at the other, not realizing the other person was doing the same. When you would look over to him, his eyes would be toward the tv set, seeming to be watching the picture- but he also looked incredibly tense. You wondered if he was hanging out with you because he felt like he needed to. You feel awkward now thinking he’s just sitting though this to not be rude.

Lee was on the whole other side of the world in comparison to what you thought he was thinking about. He was trying desperately to gain some level of composure. He felt like he was acting like a teenager again, fucking jumping out of his skin sitting next to a pretty girl. He hadn’t felt like this in a very long time. An hour went by, neither of you saying anything- him just lost in his own thoughts. But then he felt your head hit his shoulder ever so lightly.

You had fallen asleep. He wondered how long you had been sleeping before he even realized. Here he was stressed out as ever and you are relaxed enough to fall asleep. He doesn’t even dare move. His whole body goes stiff, not wanting anything to wake you up. He wouldn’t move from this spot for all the money in the world. You were blissfully unaware at how you cuddled up next to him, your face resting in the crook of his neck. You were going to be the death of him.

He very carefully wanted to just make himself a little more comfortable. He slowly moved the arm you had pinned and adjusted so it was wrapped around your shoulder. His fingertips just grazing your skin where the sleeve of your t-shirt ended lightly. Your skin was so soft, and he bites his lip, thinking about how soft you must feel everywhere. The man was so goddamn touched starved. He couldn’t even remember the last time he was this close with Janie. It had to have been years since he experienced something this intimate. After a very long internal battle, he allowed himself to rest his head on top of yours and close his eyes for a few. He didn’t intend on falling asleep, just bask selfishly in the moment for a few minutes.

You opened your eyes and yawned softly. You looked at the clock and saw that it was well past midnight. You closed your eyes again, too tired to realize the position you were in at first. Then, a minute later you realized, and your eyes shot open again. Cuddled up to Lee’s side, his arm loosely around you. His head rested on the back of the couch, looking so peaceful.

Fuck. You were so embarrassed. You hoped he had fallen asleep first and would have no knowledge of this interaction in the morning. You carefully untangled yourself from him, moving as slow as possible to not wake him up.

You clicked off the TV and then turned off the lights, getting ready to retire up to your room for the night. You felt so hot, flushed with pure embarrassment. Your mouth was dry and the only thing you think about was cold water. You tip-toe into the kitchen and fill yourself a glass, drinking the whole thing at once. You turn off the kitchen light and leave your glass in the sick before heading upstairs.

You change out of your overalls and shirt and put on your blue nightgown. You head across the hall to the bathroom, navigating in the dark. You brush your hair, wash your face and brush your teeth before climbing into your bed and swaddling yourself with your many blankets. Your eyes are heavy, and the feeling of being in Lee’s arms is still present on your skin.

His large hands sliding up your thighs is what jolts you awake. His calloused hands moving their way up your body, pushing up your dress as they went. He dips down and presses a tantalizing kiss to your lips, one hand cupping your cheek softly and the other rubbing over your wet panties. You kiss him back, opening your mouth and letting his tongue in. You can feel his hand slip under the waistband of your panties and his thumb gently rubs your clit. Without even questioning anything, you moan and he trails his lips down to your neck, and you shiver at the feeling of his stubble. You arms wrap loosely around his neck, and your fingers play with the ends of his short hair. He groans against your skin and the sound just sends a shiver throughout your whole body. You can feel him smile, and he pushes two fingers inside. You gasp and he muffles your sounds with another deep kiss. You feel overwhelmed by how good it feels combined with the terms of endearment that fall from his lips as he praises you.

The ringing of your alarm clock scares the shit out of you, and your eyes fly open at the sound. You’re breathing heavily, and you feel your hair sticking to your forehead. You let out a heavy sigh, and click off the alarm, and then cover your face with your pillow. You felt how wet you were without having to check. You had a sex dream about Lee. A fucking wet dream about Lee Bodecker.

Part Three

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