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6rookie-writer0110 · 4 months

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I know the dealer

Wade Wilson x Reader (Gender-Neutral)

Summary - Wade comforts Reader after being dumped.

Wade comes home and he puts on his Crocs, then he noticed you are sad.

“Don’t cry, Y/n my hand will heal after weeks or days” Wade said.

He has baby hands now.

“I don't care about your stupid baby hands,” You said.

“Ouch, that hurts my feelings. Now put five dollars in the swear jar. But why are you crying?” Wade said.

“I got dumped by the love of my life, Wade” You cried.

“Oh, that hurts,” Wade said.

He did hug you but it felt strange with his baby hands.

“Apparently, we weren't on the same page. I thought I found the right one but I was wrong, love sucks” You said.

“First time in love?” Wade asked.

“And my last,” You said sadly.

He pats your head then you moved his hand away.

“Oh, I have been there. I got my heart broken before and I thought I couldn't find anyone else, but I was wrong. Look, Y/n you will find the right person for you but that takes time and you can't force love” Wade said.

You don't say anything. You cried then he hugged you again and he holds you.

“Your hands feel strange,” You said.

“Shhh, don't ruin the moment Y/n,” Wade said.

He does try his best to cheer you but it didn't work. He lets you cry then he talks about bad dates he has been on, that made you laugh.

✯ ✫ ✯ ✫

The next night… he made you get in the car. But he doesn't tell you where he is taking you and you keep asking but he won't tell you.

“Y/n, I won't tell you. It's a huge surprise and you will have fun” Wade said.

“Ugh,” You whined.

He stopped in front of the house. Then he made you take out a duffle bag and it's heavy. Now you and Wade are standing in the yard in front of the windows.

“Y/n, having your heart broken sucks, and it hurts. But give it time to heal and you won't feel hurt anymore. You are a great person, but your ex didn't see that so that person doesn't deserve your love and kindness” Wade said.

“Thanks, Wade,” You said.

He opened the duffle bag and takes out a brick and your eyes open wide.

“What are you doing!?” You yelled.

“You will love again, but that bitch will pay for breaking your heart” Wade smirked.

“What?” You asked.

He put the brick in your hand. He grabbed another brick and threw it at the window. He yells at you to throw it and you did throw and it hit the other window on the first floor. He threw another one and broke another window.

Wade grabbed your hand then you two started to run away. He jumps over the hood of the car and then got in the car. You are breathing hard then he starts to drive fast, and your heart is beating extremely fast.

“Wade what the fuck!?” You yelled.

“See! I told you that you would have fun!” Wade yelled with cheer.

“Okay, I had fun” You smiled.

“Yay!” Wade cheered.

Wade drove to a drive-thru and orders the food. You and Wade start to eat in the car…

“Oh! I know whose window we should break!” Wade smiled.

“Wade… we can't do that,” You said.

He went on about who should be next and you rolled your eyes at him.

#wade wilson x reader #wade wilson imagine #deadpool imagine #deadpool x male reader #x male reader #male!reader #gender neutral reader #gender neutral fanfic

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dyns33 · 2 months

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Obvious

Most of the time I see him as the cool silly big bro, but I love Deadpool, so here's a long Deadpool x female reader.

Normally nothing destined Y/N to meet Wade Wilson.

A normal life, without enemies, without superpowers, without contracts on her head. She didn't fight, respected the law (at least for the most serious and important things) and she considered herself to be a good person.

The first time she had passed Saint Agnes Orphanage, she hadn't really paid it much attention. The second time, she found it a little strange that an orphanage was in this part of the city, which was not really made for children.

Then one evening, when she had had a bad day, she realized that it was a bar and she decided to go in for a drink.

Since she thought an orphanage was strange in that place, she might have thought it was odd for a bar to have such a name. She could also have been scared when she saw the other customers, who all turned towards her, indicating that she might not be welcome.

But Y/N was tired, and she just wanted a drink before going home, so she smiled politely as she sat down at the counter.

The waiter frowned, but he agreed to serve her with a shrug, muttering that as long as she was an adult, it wasn't his problem.

A tall, bald, tattooed guy then approached her, putting a hand on her arm without worrying about her private space, asking her if she wanted to follow him home.

"… No thanks."

“Come on, don’t be a slut.”

"Please."

“Come with me, you stupid bitch.”

"Now, that's really not very nice. The lady said no, a gentleman should know it's time to leave. But no Hector, not only are you insisting, but you're being rude."

"Fuck you, Wade, don't get involved in this !"

The waiter continued to mumble about cleaning, while this Wade guy smashed Hector's head against the counter. A tooth even flew close to Y/N’s face.

That might have been enough to scare her completely. In addition to the surge of violence that was happening right next to her, there was the red suit, the katanas and other guns, which could make you want to flee as quickly as possible.

But when he finished kicking Hector's ass, Wade turned to her, and despite the mask, it was obvious that he was smiling, extending a hand towards her.

"Miss, my apologies for that boor. He knows nothing of good manners."

"… Thank you."

"You're very welcome, lovely angel ! Wade Wilson, Deadpool, Merc with a mouth, at your service ! Oh, he spilled your drink… Bad Hector ! Or was it me ? Maybe it was me. Weasel, the same for the little lady, on my note !”

“You already owe me a fortune.”

“I will kill whoever you want for free !”

“I thought you didn’t kill anymore.”

"Ah yes… I'll suck you for free !"

“Here you go, two drinks, just shup up Wade.”

In the end, Wade was a bit special, but not evil. He stayed with her, partly because he loved having someone to talk to, but also to make sure no one else was going to bother her again.

And he talked a lot. Everything he said didn't always make sense, he even seemed to be talking to himself sometimes, but he was funny. It seemed to please him that Y/N laughed at his jokes. Behind the counter, Weasel was still muttering that she was doing something silly.

Among the long tirade he delivered that evening, she understood that Wade had not had an easy life. That he had done some things that could make him a criminal, but he had been trying to improve for some time.

"Colossus already wanted me to become an X-men but it wasn't for me. Wait, there are X-men in this universe ? I do not know anymore. Anyway, there's Spidey and Devy. No, he's right, this nickname isn't great, Devil. Like Daredevil. They want us to be Team Red, but only if I stop unliving people. It's not fair because they're friends with Frank, and Frank keeps unliving people, but he lost his wife and his kids, so I guess he has more sympathy points than me."

"I don't understand everything, but I guess Spidey is Spiderman ?"

"Yes ! He's super cool ! And his ass ! People confuse us sometimes, it annoys me, but it's a bit of a compliment. He's my role model."

Like a true superhero, Deadpool insisted on taking her home. He was terribly honest, saying that he could leave her a few blocks away, but that was useless, because as a former mercenary, he was very good at stalking people and he could find her address without difficulty, even if he only had her name.

"Which I wouldn't do ! Normally. I might want to see you again, and ask Weasel to find your number, but I know myself, I'll put it in my phone, and I'll hesitate for weeks, then I'll send a lousy message, you'll be scared, you'll block me, I'll be ashamed and I'll shoot myself in the head because I'm a moron."

“I can give you my number.”

"And I… Huh ? Huh ?! For real ?!" exclaimed Wade, jumping like a child on Christmas Day.

Wade called her right away, specifying that it was not to verify that she was giving him a false number but a little. Despite the mask, his face showed surprise when he saw that she hadn't lied.

"I should put a bullet in my head to make sure I'm not dreaming."

“You wouldn’t wake up.”

“Baby girl, we only just met, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

When Deadpool talked about shooting himself, he meant it literally. It often happened that he died, either because of an enemy, an accident, or by his own hand. But he always came back. A gift like a curse.

They became friends. It was obvious, and quite sad, that Wade didn't have many friends.

Most people around him couldn't stand him or were afraid of him. It was true that he could be quite unpredictable, especially when he got lost in his discussions with the boxes, or an imaginary audience. But he was never mean.

Weasel was more of a collaborator, Al was forced to accommodate him, and the other heroes, unable to get rid of him, tried to make him a nice guy.

And he was really nice. Crazy but adorable, funny and wanting to do well.

Very quickly, Y/N started to have a crush, and even more. Even after seeing him without a mask. He never took it off completely to eat, repeating that he didn't want her to lose her appetite or feel like throwing up.

But after landing in a trash can after a fight, and forgetting that he had invited her to watch Princess Bride, Y/N had seen him. Yes, his scars were a bit impressive, but they weren't that bad.

With an embarrassed smile, he waved his hand while remaining frozen near the entrance.

"… I can move if you want to run away. I won't follow you. I may look like Frankenstein's monster, but I only pursue young girls who ask me to. Or who deserve it. Because criminals have no gender, I don't discriminate."

“I brought popcorn.” was her only reaction.

"... Oh. Sweet ? Salty ? Caramel ? Al must have beer somewhere, hidden with the cocaine."

After that, he was a little less afraid to show his face, even though it was obvious he wasn't comfortable. It wasn't easy to reassure him, repeating that she didn't care about his appearance.

Y/N didn’t remember how they ended up having this conversation. The only thing she knew was that she was pressed against him, laughing, when she had innocently said it would be fun if they went out together.

This made Wade laugh, but a very serious laugh, leaving no chance and hitting where it hurt.

"You and me ? Ah ! No chance."

"Why ?"

"It's obvious."

A simple little sentence could sometimes do a lot of damage. Too busy making fun of the characters on the screen, Wade didn't see Y/N's look of sadness, just as he didn't feel her body stiffen.

Still, she should have expected this response. Of course it was obvious that they had nothing to do together. Deadpool was a super hero (in training), he was tall, muscular, funny, rich.

She had seen photos of his deceased ex, Vanessa. She had observed him flirting with beautiful women and men before. It was already fortunate that she was only friends with him.

So Y/N swallowed her pride, accepting the obvious, and not talking about the subject again.

But it was hard, because the more time passed, the stronger the feelings became.

It was even harder when Wade entered his depressive phases. He kept putting himself down, insulting himself and accepting insults from the boxes in his head. It took a lot of patience and perseverance to get him to put down his gun.

"Anyway, I'll come back later. Bad luck for the world. People would be happier if I wasn't here anymore. Maybe they'll miss me a little, for a few minutes."

“I would miss you, Wade.”

"Yeah… You say that because you're adorable, baby girl. But you'd be better off without me too. I'm a real drag."

“You saved me the first time we met.”

"And since then you think you owe me a debt. You know, every time we're in the street, the others look at me and they're afraid. If I wasn't there, you could be with them. You could have lots of friends.”

"I don't want lots of friends, Wade." Y/N sighed, taking him into her arms. “I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Oh, sweetie pie, me too !”

It was rarer for them to find themselves in the opposite situation. Not because Deadpool wasn't capable of empathy, but because she didn't like talking about her problems, preferring to keep everything to herself and cry out of sight.

Unfortunately, she had made the decision to become friends with a former mercenary who loved to jump from roof to roof, only to come visit without warning by tapping on the window.

Y/N had no time to hide her tears, holding back a sob as her eyes met those of Wade, who had stopped mid-movement, fist raised against his window.

He didn't hesitate before entering, terribly serious.

"Who ? Who did this ?"

“Wade…”

"Who made my baby girl cry ? I want a name. Spidey and Dev will understand. Yellow wants decapitation, White wants emasculation. Tell me who."

"It's really not necessary. It's not important."

“It’s important if you cry.” Deadpool growled as he looked around the apartment for clues.

Once he had an idea in his head, it was almost impossible to divert his attention. If it wasn't so important, it was possible with food or talking about Spiderman's butt. But this time he considered it very important.

Tired, Y/N thought that all she had to do was say that it was just a ridiculous heartbreak for him to calm down. He had no reason to kill someone just because they didn't love her back.

This actually seemed to calm him down a bit, as he patted his cheeks with his hands in a dramatic gesture.

"What ?! Someone doesn't love you ?! Someone doesn't like my sweet little angel ? Are they crazy or stupid. You deserve the best !"

"Actually… He's the one who's too good for me."

"Bullshit ! The important thing is love ! If a woman can marry a space duck, then everyone can be together, as long as it's legal and consensual !"

"… What ? No, wait, it doesn't matter. Wade, please forget it."

"A name. Let me prove to you that this fool doesn't deserve you, and not the other way around !"

"No."

"A name !"

"You ! It's you !"

For the first time since they met, Wade was silent for more than a minute, staring at her like he wasn't sure she was real. He often had hallucinations, so this happened to him.

Then he muttered incomprehensible things, probably speaking with his boxes to check that he had heard what she had just said.

"… Me ? As in, me ?"

“I know what you’re going to say.” Y/N sighed, wanting to disappear. "You've already said it, it's obvious that we're not meant to be together. You're charismatic, and strong, and funny, with powers. You save people, you have an extraordinary life, while I… I am me."

"… Baby girl. Do you have a fever ? Did you lose a bet ? Because… You saw me without a mask. You know I'm crazy and dangerous. There are several bounties on my head, I've unlived more people than the population of New York, and my favorite movie is Zoolander 2. When I said it was obvious… I meant that you were too good for me."

There had been a misunderstanding, each being convinced that the other could never want the other, because they were too different. But even though he was special, with skin problems and an inability to concentrate for more than ten minutes, Wade was much better than a space duck.

However, while she was sure of what she wanted, he hadn't clearly said what he expected next.

"I mean, if you just want to be friends, I'll understand."

"You can't tease me like that and then break my heart. Don't play with me, woman !"

“Wade…” Y/N sneered, as he gesticulated like a degenerate, declaiming his great love for her and her smile, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Taking advantage of his inattention, she approached him, until he froze when he felt her hands on his mask.

With a look, she asked him if she could take it off, and as he didn't move to stop her, she took it off first up to his nose, before hesitating.

Y/N didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but she also didn’t want him to think that she didn’t want to see him if she didn’t go further. So she took out the whole mask, she observed Wade, smiling before kissing him.

"… Don't take what comes next as a bad thing." he whispered as their lips parted.

"What ?"

"I'm going to have a heart attack…"

As always, Y/N thought he was joking at first, until he collapsed in front of her, looking delighted even though his heart had stopped beating. Fortunately she was used to seeing him die, even if it was still a little traumatic.

It took almost an hour for him to wake up. Y/N had time to take a shower and make herself some tea, sitting on the couch to wait.

"Shit !" he shouted as he opened his eyes, looking around the apartment before looking at her. “Did we kiss ?”

“Yes and you died.”

"It's weird. Normally you go to heaven after you die, not before. But I probably don't have enough superhero points for heaven yet, so the other option is that I became totally crazy."

“Wade…”

"I know, White and Yellow would have told me. They're already saying that all the time, but they would have insisted, especially for me to escape from the asylum. It's no fun fighting with fake people and hippos. Was I dead long ?"

“No, a little over half an hour.”

"And you stayed with me, it's so cute. Nurse Y/N. No, Doctor Y/N, and I'll be Nurse Wilson. Oh, Doctor Y/N, I made a mistake in the dosage of a patient, I'm a bad nurse, punish me."

"… Let's see Nurse Wilson, we're in the middle of an intervention, calm down."

"Uh oh ! You're playing along !" Wade exclaimed, pouting from the ground. "I didn't expect that ! Wait, I need a blonde wig, and a white dress. You'll see, I look super sexy in a dress. Wait, we do this now or it's quick and we should have a date first ?'

“I wouldn’t say no to a date.”

"I see the genre, like in novellas. Doctor Y/N takes me to the restaurant to talk about my future promotion, but in fact, you are going to admit to me that I am pregnant with you, before I even enter your bed !"

“As long as you’re in my bed before the hundredth episode.”

“UH !”

The small, high-pitched cry of pleasure preceded a second cardiac arrest, Deadpool's mind imagining Y/N and him in a bed, with a stetoscope.

When she asked him if he was going to have a heart attack every time, he told her that he would probably die for good the day he saw her naked, or that they made love for the first time.

But Wade was a gentleman, he ate lots of vegetables, exercised, and begged Daredevil to teach him meditation techniques.

So he had the courtesy of having the next heart attack only after they were finished, and in the toilet. And every time after that they were together, Wade would go out of his way to just get a nosebleed.

Especially on Weasel's counter, telling him everything they had done or almost everything, which annoyed the poor waiter a lot, even if he knew that it would happened from the start, the moment he saw Deadpool with Y/N.

#deadpool #wade wilson #wade wilson x reader #deadpool x reader #deadpool fanfiction #deadpool imagine #wade wilson fanfiction #wade wilson imagine

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your-next-daydream · 2 years

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Wade Wilson x equally chaotic reader hcs 👀

AH MY FIRST ASK! Thanks for requesting bro!

Ok you didn't specify if you wanted platonic or romantic? Soooo imma do both😃

Reader has no specified gender

Platonic hcs

Oh? Do you want to leave the house without a warm Wade Wilson goodbye? No, you're going to get a hug that smells of cocaine and weed. Upon finally leaving, you hear, "Bye kiddo, make sure you get in trouble for Papa!" With an over exaggerated kiss blown your way.

"Hey kiddo, have you seen my katana...kid? Why is my katana in that guys stomach right now?" He said with a hand in his hip. "I don't know. I got bored, and he was conveniently placed there."

Chimichangas for breakfast and dinner. Lunch is a healthy dose of some sort of drugs or killing. There is no in between. Desert is rom-coms and tears don't forget to say hello to his unicorn.

You help blind Al around the house but for fucks sake quit making so many sex jokes around that poor lady.

please...clean Wade's suit... it smells horrible

"Hey Wade, want to go TP and throw eggs at the X mansion with me? Colossus pissed me off again." You muttered, grabbing some of Al's eggs promising you'd pay her back later. "Umm fuck yeah I want to! Just don't hit pinky pie or teenage angst they'll have my head...well they kinda can, I can just grow a new one!"

You joke about getting avocado lotion for him. "Hey, Deads, I got this avocado scented lotion for you. Maybe some pheromone shit will happen, and you won't look like a dumpster fire anymore." He whipped his head around, grabbing where his heart is and stumbling around,"wounded"

You cut Wade's arm off once just to give it to a bad guy asking, "Need a hand?" While Wade came up behind that person killing them.

he takes you to the bar with him, and you both get on Weasel's ever loving last nerve. I mean, he's both of y'all's arms dealer. Why not mess with him?

there was a fight Wade started in the bar, once where he broke his leg off and just started beating people with it.

Romantic hcs

What's personal space? He's always touching or hugging unless you specifically tell him not to.

you reassure him that he's still a handsome man. You lightly pick on him for being an old avocado, but that's about it.

he gives you his unicorn and whatever else of his you want before he leaves for a mission.

there was a time when you came with him and you both got captured. You're actually the one who figured out how to escape...he was just gonna cut himself up to fit through the bars.

sex jokes? Oh yeah, all the time. You can't stop this man he's hitting on you like you guys are at the bar, and he's trying to take you home. You shock him if you return the same energy.

makes sure you're asleep before he even thinks about going to bed himself.

you and him took a pole dance class so he could show off, and he wanted to see you move like that.

he had a funny idea to put his mask on you during a mission, and it was funny watching another version of himself walking around killing.

Do you know those hugs where you get picked up and are just held there for a while? Yeah, that's him, except his face is in your chest no matter what it looks like.

Colossus has walked in on you both making out and out of embarrassment. You attempted to cover it up and say, "You wanna join?" But Wade went along saying "Yeah big boy, wanna have some funnnn?" You hit him on the head.

Pizza and movie dates. It doesn't matter where y'all are you guys are going on a date if he can help it. He thinks it's cuter when you set things up.

Oh, someone hurt you? They never existed. He knows you can handle yourself he wanted to take care of it.

He'll buy you Deadpool themed merchandise ALL. THE. TIME. You like are running out of space for it at this point.

There's a hoodie with his logo on it and he's definitely fucked you in that hoodie before.

He probably would like running a knife or a gun down your sides. The gun is never loaded, but you don't know that.

knows he could get out of it, but he thinks it'd be fun if you tied him up.

Oh, I'm definitely thinking about his stamina and strength...

After y'all do have sex straight to the bathtub or shower to get cleaned off. He could care less, but he knows you want to be clean.

CUDDLE SPOONING KING

He'd like to be little spoon sometimes. Other than that, he likes laying between your legs with his arms around your waist to make sure you can't leave in the morning.

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fandomnerd9602 · 11 months

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Imagine SpiderDeadpool Reader meeting Pavitr from across the spiderverse and saying how he sounds like a taxi driver his dad hangs out with (because that actor is him)

Pavitr: chai means tea. You don’t call it tea tea.

Y/N: oh my gosh! You sound just like my uncle Dopinder!

Pavitr: who?

Y/N: oh wait I just looked in up on IMDb. You’re played by the same actor.

Pavitr: Spideypool?! Will you get out of here?!

Y/N: fine. This universe is too awesome for me anyway. I’ll go party it up with the New Mutants or whatever’s not taken over by the mouse.

#marvel #marvel imagine #marvel fluff #mcu #mcu imagine #mcu fandom #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #spider man: across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #spiderverse x reader #spider man reader #spiderman #deadpool #deadpool reader #deadpool imagine

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lilylovelyxo · 1 year

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Y/N, exasperated: “Put the knife down, Wade.”

Wade: “I want to be an artist! Like Leonardo Dicaprio.”

Negasonic TW: “That's right.”

Y/N: “That's Da Vinci, Wade.”

Wade: “No!”

#deadpool #deadpool x reader #deadpool imagine #wade wilson x reader #wade winston wilson #wade wilson #wade wilson imagine #x-men #negasonic teenage warhead #incorrect marvel quotes #bobs burgers quotes

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pandagyaru · 7 months

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This isn't 2023 or whatever you just said

Deadpool x 2009 Gender neutral reader

Early 2000s au with my favorite man with a very big uh

Personality.... yeah personality lolz

Anyways my thought process is like, what if dp goes back in time on accident and needs to find out what year it is. Like 2009 or something. But he meets the prettiest little human, aka you dollies!

P.s: Your apartment is like all rooms in one, kinda like dps in the movie, except your bathroom is private, LMAO.

P.p.s: the reader is very no descriptive. Besides the fact they wear glasses!

A swirling noise fills the dark void of your open space apartment. You sit up in bed and slide your sleeping mask up on your forehead. A purple and orange hole in the abyss that is your living room. You blink the eye crusties and boogers away as you stare at it, blinking like a frog as you get used to the strange light. A red and black clad body shoots through the portal, landing on your comforter.

"WHAT THE FUCK" You shout, crawling up to your headboard. You hurry and flick on your bedside lamp to get a good look at the dead body? You don't know if the person is dead or not, but God, you didn't wanna find out. It suddenly sits up with a gasp, its head snapping towards you. It points at you.

"YOU! WHERE AM I?" The voice is masculine, so you're assuming it's a guy. I mean, you're hoping what you're assuming is right. It may be 2009, but you'd hate to misgender this stranger in your bed.

"Uh, you're in my apartment. May I ask where the fuck you came from?" You ask, leaning over and grabbing your glasses of your nightstand, slipping them on your face.

"Right, your apartment. I came from a mansion, not mine. Like a friends mansion" He explains, looking around at all your "ancient" looking belongings. "Say is it 2023?"

"Huh? 2023? No, it's 2009. Are you okay? Did you hit your head on my bed post? Like, I understand you like spawned in my apartment, but I dont think time travel is possible. doctor who" you joke, nudging your foot at him. His head whips to you.

"2009?" He asks. You nod and pull out your iPhone 3G, turning it on and showing him the date.

"Yeah. It's also 3 am. So, if you're staying, my couch pulls out into a bed. I do have to warn you, I have work at like 9 am" You tell him, getting up incase you have to pull the couch bed out. He looks over at your couch and then back at you.

"Or we could share this cozy ass bed you got yourself here." He flirts, leaning back on your bed and trying to seem seductive. You blush.

"I'll pull out the couch" you mutter, speed walking over to the couch. You bend over to grip the metal bars under the couch cushions.

"You're supposed to remove the cushions' first sugar butt" He says, standing up and walking over to you. Your face feels hot at the petname. "Its like a sleepover! All we need is movies and snacks"

"I have work, remember?" You state, picking up and throwing the couch cushions. The bed sliding out and setting itself down on the hardwood floor. He looks over at you.

"Yeah, at 9am. When did you go to bed?" He asks. You look over at him.

"Like 8pm. I was exhausted today"

"So you've had 7 hours of sleep. If we watch one movie, you'll get like 5 more hours. You'll be fine" He says, plopping his leather clad fat ass (I just had to specify that btw) on the couch bed. You think it over. You sigh.

"Fine, but we're watching catwoman. Halle Berry is gorgeous in that movie" You say, walking over to your DVD rack. You crouch down to read all the titles of movies you have. You find the movie you want and peek over your TV stand to your DVD player. You put the movie in. "Have you ever seen this movie?" You ask, walking back over to thr couch bed. Deadpool wades (HA GET IT?) over his response. The truth is he hasn't seen it in fucking forever.

"I have, but it's been a while," He answers.

"Oh yeah how long? I watched it the other day"

"About 15 years. Give or take"

"It came out 5 years ago..."

"Right right its 2009"

"Wait so you're actually from the future? Holy shit. What's life like?" You jump up and grab his shoulders.

"Technology is definitely better then what you have in this place. I'll tell ya that for free. God your phone is God awful" He jokes, smashing his hand on your face.

"Hey, that's the latest phone! I'm cool!" You shout, grabbing his wrist, trying to pull his hand off your face. He laughs. "I know we just met. But would you be able to show me what 2023 looks like?" You ask, looking into the whites of his mask.

"Uh, i don't know if it transports more then one person. But I could try." He mutters, watching the way your eyes light up.

The night ended with you falling asleep on him halfway through the movie.

LOVE YA!

#x male reader #x gn reader #x gender neutral reader #deadpool imagine #deadpool x reader #deadpool headcanon #deadpool #deadpool x male reader #deadpool x you #Spotify

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betyloca · 2 months

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headcanons of piotr rasputin (colossus) to wade wilson's friend

pairing: colossus x latin mutant reader

• Colossus was in the mansion when he noticed on the news that an accident had occurred on a highway involving two mutants.

• Knowing that one of them was Wade, he immediately went to look for him.

• When he arrived at the place he found him trying to kill a guy.

• After stopping Wade from killing him, they started arguing.

colossus: it's not a way to do things, there are rules

wade: shove the rules up your ass

• That caused the colossus to hit and caused a fight between them.

• Of course, between the blows he gave to Wade, he broke some bones

colossus: give up now wade

Wade: ok I need reinforcements morena

• Upon hearing that he saw a masked person addressing him.

• saw how he started shooting at him with a gun

• As a defense, he hit her, sending her away until he saw when she got up, taking off her mask, showing that she was a woman.

Wade: Ahhhh you hit Y/N you son of a bitch.

Colossus: I didn't know she was a woman.

• This guy felt terrible when he realized he knocked you unconscious.

• He decided to take you to the mansion so you could rest.

• when you woke up he tried to talk to you but you just started throwing things at him

colossus: stop throwing things at me

y/n: what do you want.. ehh?

Colossus: I just want to talk, yes.

y/n: after hitting me, no thanks.

colossus: it was not intentional because we didn't start again I'm piotr rasputin but they call me colossus

y/n: ahhh okay I'm y/n Gonzáles friend of wade wilson

• How did your friendship with him begin?

• This guy loved how energetic you were. He loves it when you talk to him about your favorite movies non-stop.

• he thinks wade is a bad influence on you but he had to accept that wade was like your brother from another mother

• likes it when you ask him about his mutation and how much weight he carries

• One day I ask you why you wear gloves.

colossus: why do you wear gloves that only cover three fingers?

y/n: I disintegrate everything I touch by supporting the entire palm of my hand, that's why I use them

• He is fascinated by your mutation, he likes to see how powerful you are.

• Until one day he saw you in action and noticed how agile you were with weapons.

• He loves that you visit him in the mansion, he loves spending time with you

• Wade gets jealous when I steal his best friend because he started to notice that he was in love.

Wade: So you like y/n?

colossus: what times are you talking about?

Wade: Come on, it's clear that you love her and if I'm honest, if you want to win her over, do it with food, you seriously love her.

Colossus: I'll take that information

Wade: She's also a virgin if they do it so you don't break her in two.

colossus: wade!!

• okey wade was right you loved the food

• when I bought you some cupcakes you started jumping like a little child with happiness

y/n: they are for me seriously

colossus: yes I thought you would like it

y/n: *jumping* there I love you I love you thank you* kissing his cheek*

• I love seeing you so I started giving you things, more often they were all snacks.

• tell about seeing you this happy and getting some kisses

• until one day you also gave him a gift, a handmade bracelet

y/n: I made it for you

colossus: thank you very much

Y/N: I knew you would like it.

• He never takes off his bracelet until he shows it off to Wade.

• loves every gift you give him, keeping them as a treasure

• loves having movie nights with you and feels so intimate as if it were a moment for the two of you.

• He likes it when you ask him to straighten your hair, he always ends up making a mess but you show it off with pride.

• you trust him so much that you started wearing his clothes

colossus: that one on my shirt

y/n: I have all my shirts in the laundry I hope you don't mind

colossus: don't take what you want* smiling to himself*

#piotr rasputin x reader #colossus x reader #xmen x reader #xmen imagine #deadpool #x reader #marvel #deadpool 2 #deadpool imagine #deadpool x reader

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crazyk-imagine · 8 months

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Russian is Different from Rushing

Pairing: Wade "Deadpool" Wilson x Mercenary!reader

Characters: Wade "Deadpool" Wilson, Mercenary!reader

Warnings: Wade being an idiot, this was too fun to write, reader has known him for so long, reader was kicked in the side before this, Wade and reader are trying to help the x-men, wade being himself naturally this needs a warning

Word Count: 383

Based on this post

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Wade run into up the stairs (after a minor detour from the guy who was complaining about the number of stairs y'all have to go up). "Hurry up," you run ahead of him.

"I am, you're just freakishly in shape."

"It's called being healthy."

He mimics you while following after you. "It's called, you're insane."

You roll your eyes and jam your elbow into the bad guy's side. "Go take care," you grunt, adrenaline keeping you from feeling the pain in your side. "Take care of the guys in the room."

Wade glances back at you and salutes. "On it." Screams of many men dying in there brings you to a halt. You wait till there's nothing. "Is it safe?"

"Use your safe word."

"Wade!"

"Kidding, obviously." He turns, "or am I? Oh, you can't tell because I'm wearing my mask but I'm winking."

"Stop talking to yourself and get over here."

"Coming, darling."

You both rifle through some piles.

"I can't understand any of this."

"No shit, you can't read it. All of it is in Russian."

"I don't care how fast they were writing; it makes no sense."

You take a deep breath. "Okay, we need to find the blueprints, right?"

"Yes..."

"Why'd you say it like that?"

"Say what?"

You place your hands on your hips. "Do you even know what we're supposed to be looking for?"

"Definitely," he nods and looks back at the cluttered desk. "Maybe. Alright, alright. I know what you’re thinking and it's definitely blue because when teenage warhead brought it up, I thought of us all going out and getting slushies."

A dreamy sigh escapes him. "I'd definitely be getting red and you'd for sure get cola because you're weird and teenage warhead and her girlfriend would get blue and red so they can make purple because they're disgustingly cute."

"Uh huh." You shove him off the table, letting him fall backwards. "Grab everything you think is important."

You're wheezing as you try to catch your breath but falling on your back, especially when you're tackled is never easy. "What the- fuck, Wade."

"You said grab everything important and I am."

That sounds so sweet coming from him. "Plus, I don't want everyone thinking I'm the reason you died."

You groan. "My hero."

#deadpool #deadpool imagines #deadpool imagine #deadpool fanfiction #deadpool fanfic #wade wilson imagines #wade wilson imagine #wade wilson fanfic #wade wilson fanfiction #wade wilson #wade wilson x reader #wade wilson x you #wade deadpool wilson imagine #wade deadpool wilson imagines #wade deadpool wilson fanfiction #wade deadpool wilson fanfic #wade deadpool wilson #crazyk-imagine

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skylarinfinity · 8 months

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villain: [looking at deadpool and m/n with scared] who are you?! [pointing his gun at them]

m/n: [smirk under his mask] we-

deadpool: wait! [pull out his phone and play song] ♪and i don't dress for villains or for innocents i'm on my vigilante shit again♪

m/n: [sighed] please ignore him [shot the villain on their head]

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

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hanasnx · 21 days

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MINORS DNI 18+ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ WARNINGS: fem reader | dirty flirting | suggestive material | it’s not dubcon, it's just you and deadpool's dynamic.

Like a stray cat, a mercenary hangs around your neighborhood. At first he was cute, you'd leave some food out for him, he'd hit on you shamelessly and in a million different shades of dirty, and then you wouldn't see him for six months. It got old quick, especially because he didn't care that you weren't interested. As if flirting with you was a hobby, he didn't mind that he wasn't getting anything out of it besides your irritation.

It's late, but you might as well take your trash out. You didn't bother to cover up when it's hot and humid out. In a crop top and the littlest shorts you own, you step out, immediately greeted with the familiar tune of DEADPOOL's voice.

"Braless—brave." he notes, and you slump in place, turning to see how he lays precariously on the railing of the fire escape. He gestures to his own chest with a flourish of gloved fingers, "Me too. Burn 'em, I say. The 70's were good for something." He nods his head.

You sigh through your nose, dropping your bag to let it sag pathetically on the asphalt. "What do you want, Red? Blowing through my part of town coincidentally again?"

"Oh, no coincidence, sugar." he tsks, and wags a finger at you before gracefully swinging off the railing to flip to the ground. You roll your eyes at his showmanship, and retreat to the backdoor of your apartment building, followed leisurely by the Merc. "Can't a guy say he missed you? Visit suddenly without calling? Golly, a man can't partake in a little light stalking these days."

You round on him, pointing a warning finger in his mask when you catch him watching your tits swing under your shirt. "Nips are hard. Excited to see me?" he asks with enthusiasm, meeting your gaze and you guffaw at him, taken aback with a hand on your hip. "Turn around, lemme see the back again—"

"'Excited?' What part should I be looking forward to? Your outdated jokes or when you make passes at me until you get it all out of your system?" You lean forward, gesturing to your enunciating mouth. "Read my lips, Red, it's- not- happening." Unknowingly, you'd lowered your voice, that sultry tone lulling Deadpool into your direction like a pie on a windowsill.

"Oh, baby, if you could see my face, I'm grinning under this mask right now." he confesses, chuckling under his breath. "Love it when you play hard to get." He straightens to his full height, sighing with relief. "Your place or mine?"

"Red—"

"Seriously, you gotta give me a twirl or something, I'm getting blue balls over here. You take a little stroll in your little jammies and I've got a halfie, throw me a bone."

You scoff at his audacity, as fat and veiny as always, and back away. "I'll see you next time, Red."

"Hopefully you'll see this boner next time, it'll be waving to you like a flagpole flying my tighty-whities." he calls after you. He knows he's exhausted his welcome this time, there'll be another opportunity soon enough.

#indy: drabbles #ch: wade #wade wilson drabble #wade wilson x reader #wade wilson x fem reader #wade wilson x you #wade wilson x y/n #wade wilson imagine #wade wilson fic #wade wilson fanfic #wade wilson fanfiction #deadpool x reader #deadpool x fem reader #deadpool x you #deadpool x y/n #deadpool imagine #deadpool fic #deadpool fanfiction

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terracebatman · 4 months

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Deadpool 3 cameos

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dyns33 · 2 years

Text

Flufftober 25 - Deadpool

Wade Wilson x reader

"This must be your favorite day."

"Because you're a freak."

"I think he understood. Unless he's stupid."

"Haha. You guys are sooooo funny. Halloween, my favourite day, because I wear a mask all the time, and under the mask I look like a moldy avocado. Nobody never said that to me. I think someone did, to Batman, so I'll take that as a compliment."

"You're not as handsome as Batman. With and without the mask."

"Thank you, Yellow, you're adorable."

"More than you, for sure."

Wade didn't know why he kept chatting with the boxes. They were never nice to him and they didn't deserve his attention.

Maybe it was because no one else wanted to talk to him. Despite his best efforts, people still ended up finding him weird, crazy, and dangerous. This was incomprehensible to Wade, who thought he was the best friend in the world.

Loyal, funny, ready to kill if asked, for money or a hug.

According to Spidey, Red, and Moon-Moon, the only heroes who agreed to spend some time with him, he didn't do it well. He was too intense and he had to stop threatening people, whether it was to protect the people he loved, or to ask the people he loved to love him back.

And all of that was when he had his mask on.

No normal person ever gave him a chance seeing his face, running off before they tried to get to know him.

It was a bit hurtful, but Wade could understand. He had already vomited and passed out after seeing himself in a mirror. At the same time.

So even if they said that to be mean, the boxes weren't wrong. His scorched pizza face could only come out on Halloween, because people thought it was a disguise then, and everyone praised him, saying he was really awful, which was so cool. Just for that day.

The other days it was just awful.

"We could enter a contest. We would win a prize."

"At the end, they will understand that it is not a costume and they will throw tomatoes at you while laughing, like Quasimodo."

"Even Quasimodo is more handsome."

"He's not with the girl at the end."

"And Wade is single, I don't see where the problem is."

"I want tacos !" declared Wade, who was tired of listening to them, even though he knew they were going to follow him wherever he went. They were silent only when he shot himself in the head, and never for very long.

It was nice to go out without the mask for once. He decided to put on a cap anyway, to avoid attracting too much attention. If someone asked him, he was a sexy zombie, and a famous one, but incognito, so he didn't accept photos, thank you.

On his way, he passed an ice cream shop, and eating ice cream before the tacos seemed like a good idea. It all ended up in the stomach at the end, the order didn't really matter.

It was a little cold, so there weren't many people in the shop. Some stared at him, both frightened and fascinated, smiling shyly at him when he greeted them.

It was that stupid gesture, to wave his hand to embarrass strangers, that changed his life. Well, maybe not his life, but at least his day.

No, yes, his whole life.

Wade's hand passed very close to the girl who was patiently waiting her turn behind him, touching her hair, and they both jumped at the same time.

The poor innocent backed off, while he immediately apologized, explaining that he hadn't done it on purpose, and that she had no reason to be afraid or disgusted, he wasn't sick or contagious, just ugly.

"Well, I guess there's reason to be disgusted, I have a special face."

"Oh. No, sorry, I was surprised, I was thinking about the ice cream I was going to choose, I thought something was falling on me, like an insect."

"If I was an insect, I would be a dung beetle. Often screwed up, but very useful for the whole world."

The boxes told him he was ridiculous, but that made the young girl laugh. They then told him that she was making fun of him, while she added that he was funny, with a charming smile.

"My name is Y/N." she said, holding out her hand, as if she wanted him to shake it. He couldn't do that, she was way too pretty for him to touch.

"Wade Winston Wilson. Triple W. My dad was an alcoholic, he wanted to call me Georges, but eventually he gave the dog that name, and he loved him more than me."

"I hope that's not true."

"The name story isn't. Shall I buy you ice cream? To make up for almost slapping you. Really sorry, I'll never do that. I'll cut my hand off rather than hit a woman. I've fought women before, but they were bad guys, I mean bad girls, and I think it's pretty feminist of me not to discriminate, but I won't hit a helpless woman who didn't do anything wrong. I'm actually hired to hunt down guys who do this, and sometimes I even do it for free."

This made Y/N laugh again, and Wade considered that she hadn't understood that he was serious.

Not to scare her away, he didn't insist. She had accepted that he pay for her ice cream, if in exchange he agreed to stay a little with her to discuss.

"I thought you wanted tacos." White reminded him.

"But now he wants Y/N."

"She's too good for him. Just like Esmeralda with Quasimodo."

"She's much prettier than Esmeralda."

"What ?" Y/N asked looking at him in surprise.

"Nothing, I... I'm talking to myself, I was thinking of something else. So, not dressed up for Halloween yet ?"

"No, not yet. I'm not sure I'm going out tonight, the streets aren't safe, and I have a date."

Wade did his best to hide his disappointment, so very badly. This made the young woman laugh again.

"I mean, I have a date with my sofa, my television, a blanket and some chocolate."

"I think we have a date with the same person tonight. It's terrible, they're cheating on us, we should get revenge by going out together !"

"Haha, yes, why not."

He had said that as a joke, really. It was one of the only non-serious things he had said since the moment he saw her sweet face and his heart almost stopped beating at so much beauty, and now Y/N had just accepted a go on a date with him.

"No, she's joking too."

"Yes she didn't understand that we were really ugly."

"I'm really ugly." repeated Wade, pointing his fork at his face. "It's not a mask, I look like it all year round. And I'm really hired to punch bad guys, or worse."

"I know. You're Deadpool. You sometimes work with Spiderman and other heroes, I've seen you on the news."

"... And it's okay ?"

"Yes." simply replied the angel who was eating her ice cream in front of him.

White yelled at him that they were probably dead again and dreaming while he was regenerating. Yellow whispered to him that it was a cruel joke, or that she was a Hydra spy who wanted to capture him to study his cells. Wade watched the rainbows and butterflies floating in the air, hearts in his eyes.

Obviously, Y/N didn't see the little hearts, taking his silence for a rejection.

"If I was too quick, I'm sorry, I... You're nice, and funny, and I had a great time with you. But if you're not interested, or you already have someone, or...'

"No ! I'm having a great time too. It's much better than tacos ! I wanted to eat tacos before stopping here."

"Really ? We... We could go have some together? Then I don't know. We'll see. Do you have a number ?"

Convinced that she wouldn't call him, he gave her his personal number. The one he had given to his pals of the Team Red of the Moon, and that was it, because all the other people he knew didn't deserve to know this number, with its brilliant voicemail where he imitated Ryan Reynolds, only knowing his professional phone, where he was making farts noises.

Except that Y/N immediately sent him a message, while they were still together.

"Here. That way we can schedule another date."

"Another date ?"

"Yeah... I mean, unless we don't consider today to be a date. Sorry, we'll schedule a first date."

"I don't know if White and Yellow are right, but I don't care."

"What ?"

"Nothing. Shall we go and eat tacos ?"

Leaving way too much money for the waitress, Wade hopped happily alongside Y/N who was still smiling like he didn't look like an idiot with a ravaged face, and Wade thought to himself that Halloween was maybe actually his favourite day. And that eating ice cream before the meal was a great idea !

#deadpool #deadpool imagine #deadpool x reader #wade wilson #wade wilson x reader #wade wilson imagine #flufftober 2022

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