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#day seven - free space
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Day 7 of @steddie-week
Prompt: Free Space
It all started February, 8th. Eddie found a card in his locker after lunch. It was plain except for a comic-style bumblebee and a speech bubble with the phrase 'Bee mine'. First he thought this was some sort of stupid prank by his band mates, Gareth would come up with something like this. But after opening it and reading what was written in it, he wasn't so sure anymore.
Eddie.
I know, it's not Valentine's Day yet, which is why I'm not asking you to be my valentine. But be sure, I will come the time.
Isn't the bee cute?
The handwriting was too neat to be any of his friends'. God, what if this was some delusional girl with a crush on the school freak, the gay school freak. He better start finding the words to let her down easy.
Two day later, Eddie found a card in his backpack. What the hell, who had put that there? This one wasn't one you could open. The front was white and said 'Save the Date' in baby pink, cursive letters.
Of course, I'm not planing our wedding. I'm not that insane. But, you do have a date on the 14th. Make sure you're free, will you?
Tacos or pizza?
Tacos all the way, but who was this? Eddie had never had a secret admirer, let alone a date. Was this really for real or just a stupid prank in the end. He found, that he was hoping this was real. Even if he'd let down a girl, at least someone had been interested in him this way for once.
The 12th came around and so did the third card. He came home from band practice to find it in the mailbox of his uncle's trailer. The envelope it was in was plain white, the only thing on it was 'Eddie.' written in the by now so familiar handwriting.
The card was hand drawn this time. It was a sleeping bat hanging from the branch of a tree and a small red chested bird on the same branch. The drawing wasn't extravagant, but still pretty damn good. The inside read a joke that only a true nerd would really get. Maybe his admirer was nerdy, too? This was getting pretty interesting.
Be the bat man to my robin ♡
On Valentine's Day Eddie expected someone or at least a card to pop up at every corner. All day, though, he didn't get anything. He didn't even know where his stupid date would be, so he needed to get something, right?
It was 6:30 pm, when he heard a knock on the trailer's door. He jumped up excitedly, only to be disappointed when he opened the door to see Steve Harrington. Don't get him wrong, he thought Steve was beautiful and– GOD– he would date the living shit out of him. But there was no way Steve 'Straight Boy' Harrington had a thing for him. Hell, they barely exchanged nice words.
"Kids aren't here. Didn't they specify where to pick them up again? I think it's Max’ this time," he mentioned instead of greeting Steve, pointing at the trailer across the street where Max and her mother lived. "Not here to pick up the kids, here to pick up you," Steve responded with a cheeky smile, which left Eddie's face with a frown of confusion.
He was handed a small bouquet of flowers, all of them unique and unusual and definitely not some cheesy ones like roses. "Who put you up to this? I need to know, man. I've been getting these cards all week and I need to tell her... well, I need to talk to her. Steve only smiled wider, pointing at the small card in the bouquet. It finally read 'Be my Valentine' and contrary to the others he'd gotten it was just a basic, red and pink Valentine's Day card you could get anywhere.
You want tacos, don't you?
- Steve
Eddie’s eyes widened as he looked back up at the man in front of him. "You're straight," was all he said, quietly and calmly. He had to prepare himself for a disappointment, this had to be a prank after all. "Thank you for the diagnosis, Dr. Munson. But, I think you're wrong there. Look, maybe I shouldn't have made it this cheesy and silly, but I that's how I am, okay. And it's better you know that before you agree to go out with me. So? Tacos?" Steve was clearly pretty insecure and nervous, but he was also dressed nicely and his hair was looking even better than usually. And he knew he would pick tacos. "You're into me? You wanna date me?" Eddie asked, still in shock from it all. Steve nodded. "Let me get my jacket, you're driving," Eddie responded instantly, earning a relieved chuckle from Steve. "And, of course, were having tacos!" he called from his bedroom over the noises of someone looking for something specific in a huge mess.
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augustinewrites · 9 months
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“oh, you poor thing…” you murmur, stroking megumi’s hair. he’d been caught in the rain during the walk home yesterday, and had come down with a bit of a cold. the seven year old is curled up next to you on the couch, his head resting in your lap.
you glare at satoru when he scoffs from his end of the couch, the tip of his nose rosy and dripping with snot. “i was caught in the rain too, you know.”
“take some nyquil.”
you don’t even bother to spare his suffering a glance.
“can i have hot chocolate?” the little brat asks, his request followed by a weak cough. “my throat hurts.”
it’s almost ten in the evening, and the kid’s already brushed his teeth. there’s no way you’d say yes—
“of course! i’ll make some for your sister too.”
satoru’s mouth falls open - because he can’t breathe through his nose and because he’s shocked. “can i have some too?”
“i’ll make you tea with lemon and ginger,” you reply, carefully adjusting megumi on the couch as you get up. you even steal his blanket, draping it over the kid’s curled up form.
megumi peeks one eye open as soon as you leave, and satoru swears the smirk that follows is directed at him.
people have told him that kids are supposed to be gifts. but later - when he’s watching a lame documentary and choking down some bitter lemon ginger tea as megumi is spoiled with sips of chocolately heaven - he thinks they must mean gifts from hell.
_____
your lips are brushing over satoru’s collarbone when he wonders if he’d locked the bedroom door.
but then you bite and all his concerns go out the window.
your breath is hot against his skin, picking up when his hands grip your waist. chests rising and falling, the two of you love in sync. slow, deep kisses are exchanged in time with gentle grinds—
“i’m hungry.”
it makes satoru startle, banging his head against the headboard as you sit up, stuttering as you both turn to face the doorway.
“megumi,” you gasp. “how long have you been standing there?”
the blush colouring his cheeks is answer enough.
“i’ll make you something to eat,” you offer, leaving your boyfriend with a very unfortunate situation as you climb off his lap, shooting an apologetic look over your shoulder as you herd megumi out of the room.
satoru swears the kid shoots him a smug grin over his shoulder.
this, he thinks glumly as he heads to the bathroom to try and calm himself down. this is why he needs to stop doing nice things.
_____
exhausted can’t even begin to describe the way satoru feels after a long day of bugging nanami and exorcising curses.
he’s practically dragging his body through the apartment towards the bedroom, wanting nothing more than to strip out of his uniform and fall into bed next to you.
but he can’t, because the first thing he sees when he opens the bedroom door is megumi hogging his side of the bed.
you press your index finger to your lips as soon as satoru opens his mouth to protest. “tsumiki’s at a sleepover,” you explain.
“so? i’ll carry him back to his room—”
you make a noise if protest, waving his hands away as you whisper, “it’s his first night here without her.”
hands on his hips, satoru examines the very little free space left on the bed. “so that means you’d let me sleep on the couch?”
he doesn’t like sleeping alone. hasn’t liked it ever since you’d moved in and he’d decided he liked waking to the warmth of your body next to his.
“well, you could sleep in megumi’s bed.”
“or you could wake him up,” he counters loudly on purpose, earning a shush and a glare from you in answer.
“this is a good thing,” you insist once you’ve ensured the kid’s still asleep. “it means he trusts us!”
“but i’m tired,” he whines, even stamping his foot a little for emphasis. “i wanna cuddle with you.”
“fine,” you relent with a little sigh. “but you have to wake him.”
gleefully, he goes to shake the kid awake. he’s about to do it, but all it takes is one look at the peaceful look settled over that little face. over the year he’d gotten to know megumi, he’s only ever worn a scowl, or a look of general boredom. so to see him like this, finally settled into the household…
it’s enough to make the sorcerer smile, even as he sets up the makeshift bed of blankets on the bedroom floor.
_____
“sharing is caring,” satoru proposes the next afternoon at the dinner table. it’s just him and megumi right now, as you’d just left to visit shoko. “so you can cuddle with her on the couch, but the bedroom is all me, got it?”
megumi frowns, staring at the list (can he even read yet? gojo has no idea) “but what about movie night?”
“fine, but only for a little bit. after that she’s all mine.”
he takes the kids shrug as agreement and moves on.
“knocking,” he starts with the utmost seriousness. “is a very important thing to do when any door is closed. and next time tsumiki is out, you’re the one sleeping on the floor.”
(they both know that’s not going to happen, but it doesn’t hurt to try.)
once the terms of their deal are finalized, they shake on it.
“so we’ve come to an understanding, good. because i’d rather have you as my bro than my foe,” he says, dragging the edge of his thumbnail across his throat for emphasis.
megumi rolls his eyes before sauntering off to his bedroom, and satoru sighs, letting his forehead hit the tabletop with a dull thud.
he’d fought off suitors vying for your attention before, but never one as tough to beat as this one.
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batshit-auspol · 6 months
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So a bit of background first for our international followers: Clive Palmer is one of Australia's many mining billionaires who like to meddle in our country's politics, and as such he is utterly despised by all of Australia.
Picture for context:
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He is most commonly known online by the title "Fatty McFuckhead", (problematic as it may be) because he tried to sue a youtuber for $500,000 for calling him that - and he lost. So the name stuck.
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Up until his most recent foray into parliament, the legally certified Fuckhead was best known for his batshit business ventures, such as attempting to build "The Titanic 2" (failed) and trying to build a dinosaur theme park (also failed, but at least nobody got eaten by a T-Rex in this one).
For a very long time Clive played the role of sugar daddy to Australia's largest conservative party, the ironically named Liberal Party, until they had a falling out in 2012 after Clive claimed there was too much money influencing politics (lol), at which point he started his own party, days after saying he totally quit and wasn't fired and he only left because he didn't want to be a distraction.
His initial run at parliament was actually kinda successful, with Palmer's group winning 4 seats, plus a member from the "Motoring Enthusiasts Party" joined them too after accidentally getting elected and not knowing what the fuck to do.
Despite this initial success however, Palmer's party (which ran on basically no platform other than "I'm rich") hit an iceberg (titanic 2 achieved) and seven elected state and federal politicians quit within the first year.
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By the time the next federal election rolled around, only one Palmer party candidate was still running for re-election. The most successful of this group - Jaquie Lambie - quit to sit as an independant and is still in parliament today.
Here she is with a painting of herself strangling Clive (she sells signed copies of this)
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And here the senator is posting about liking sausage:
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Anyway, we're getting to the point: which is the yellow posters. By the 2016 election, just two years after forming, the party was in complete freefall. It won just 0.01% of the vote at their second election, and it was announced shortly after that Clive was quitting politics and the party was being shut down. Australia breathed a sigh of relief.
It was, of course, short lived.
Clive, in desperate need of attention, restarted the party for the 2019 election, fielding candidates in every seat and spending $60 million in advertising in an attempt to win votes.
Every single candidate lost.
It was in this campaign however that Australia really started to fall out of love with Palmer, because most of that $60 million went towards putting up the world's least compelling marketing billboards on almost every single free space in the country.
For a good six months this was basically the only thing you would see in Australia if you went outside:
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Clearly Graphic design is his passion. And yes, the genius did just straight up try and copy Trump's homework while changing a few words, hoping nobody would notice.
Very quickly these all got vandalised and it seemed the ad companies didn't care enough to replace them.
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We could go on posting examples, there are thousands, but the best is definitely the one Ikea put up shortly after Clive lost the election:
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In 2022, Clive's party contested the election AGAIN, this time also opting to send millions on spam text messages to every person in Australia begging for people to vote for him, as well as buying almost every youtube ad for a year, at the cost of $100 million.
He won a whopping one seat.
During this election Clive ran on an anti-lockdown, anti-vax platform with the slogan "freedom, freedom, freedom". That message, however, was slightly undermined when his goons, dressed in 'Freedom!' shirts, made national news for trying to beat up a protester who turned up at a rally dressed as an annoying text message, shouting "pay your workers" at Clive.
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As if that wasn't bad enough, at another rally Clive knocked himself unconscious while trying to jump up on stage, and then a few weeks later was rushed to hospital with covid, while his anti-vax ads were still in regular rotation on TV, at which point it was also leaked to the press that Palmer had been alledgedly trying to buy Hitler's car.
Utterly humiliated, the party deregistered again shortly after the election.
Can't wait until he runs again in 2025.
Anyway, on the other "Clive tweeting Miss Kobayashi's Dragon" thing, we have no idea what that means but here's a screencap:
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yueebby · 2 months
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2 + 1 — gojo satoru
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synopsis. two times megumi thinks gojo is a lost cause and one time he approves of the white haired idiot
contents. fluff, lovesick!gojo, ooc, misogyny (from the clan heads), he is so pathetic for his wife (nauseating!), slight yandere behavior, violence, in megumi’s pov, not proofread eep
notes. can you tell i've been obsessed with the apothecary diaries? >< also how long has it been since i've posted a fic? anyways... enjoy!
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fushiguro megumi has always wondered how that blue eyed idiot managed to marry you. he must have resorted to underhanded tactics; or at least that's what the sea urchin suspects. though he's never voiced it, the question has bothered him since the day he first encountered the both of you.
nobara clicks her tongue. “this is borderline creepy.” her orange eyes are filled with nothing short of distaste.
“there’s more too,” megumi’s voice responded, carefully flipping the page. the delicate artifact in his hand is something that he should have not touched. perhaps he should have wrapped it with a talisman and destroyed it while he had the chance.
it was too late for that anyway, because not even a second later, gojo satoru bursts through the shoji doors of the classroom. 
with eyes blown wide as if they were caught committing a crime (they were), the first years who had pulled three seats up to a singular desk stare at him. satoru's eyes widen behind his blindfold as he catches sight of the object of their focus.
there lies in the middle of the wooden desk was the physics textbook that all first year jujutsu tech students were required to read. however, this wasn’t just any plain old textbook. it was gojo satoru’s former textbook. brimmed with doodles of their beloved [name] sensei and gojo himself when they were back in highschool.
any free space that was not filled with words were taken up by drawings of you inside of hearts and sometimes a depiction of a chibi version of the two of you.
a true testament to gojo satoru’s pining and devotion to you.
“sensei, we can explain–” yuji attempts to explain himself but gojo holds up a hand to silence the boy. 
unlike you, megumi finds it a lot more challenging to read the white haired sorcerer’s expression with the blindfold on. he wonders if his punishment will be a painful beating disguised as a sparring session (megumi will run to you, who will scare gojo into backing down). you have that effect on him.
it seems like the heavens have answered megumi’s prayers because gojo satoru doesn’t seem to harbor any anger at his shocking revelation.
“i can’t believe you guys found this old thing.” satoru dismisses his students’ personal space by leaning closely to observe the pages. the black haired boy makes a noise of disapproval, but was quickly cut off by his benefactor. “megumi, be grateful that i’m in a good mood today.” he doesn’t elaborate the ominous message, rather choosing to hum happily as he studies his own drawings.
megumi is smart enough to keep his mouth shut. 
“i never took you to be the pathetic type,” kugisaki continues to flip through the pages of the textbook. yuji nods furiously, as if to agree to her observation.
“you seriously never noticed?” megumi mutters under his breath.
gojo places a strong hand on megumi’s back, a languid smile on his face, “it was only natural, considering the lengths i had to go through to win her over.” he ignores the way megumi gasps for air.
“seriously?” itadori asks in disbelief.
“seriously.” gojo confirms wholeheartedly.
megumi shudders, recollecting memories of times before gojo tied you down for good.
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2009
“sorry i’m late!” gojo bursts through the dingy apartment door with a convenience store bag in his arm. he was breathing heavily, an indication that he had run to the apartment. an uninterested seven year old megumi doesn’t bother leaving his place on the couch to greet his benefactor.
“they’re in the kitchen,” he says in his monotone voice, eyes never leaving the book that you had just gifted him.
“they?” gojo walks up to megumi to ruffle his hair aggressively. he receives a hiss in return.
“tsumiki and [name]?” the black haired kid says it like it was obvious. his sentence is accompanied with an eyeroll.
at the mention of your name, gojo immediately perks up. megumi imagines that if he were a cat, his ears would be swiveling and his nose twitching, attuned to pick up any trace of your presence. he had just learned that from the nonfiction book in his lap. 
“[name]?! here? now?” gojo’s eyebrows are raised all the way to his forehead. the white haired sorcerer immediately started fixing his uniform and hair. megumi thinks it was comical. he was a lost cause.
the snarky look on his face is quickly wiped off when he sees gojo leaning down, mouth wide open.
“oi brat, check my breath,” gojo opens his mouth wide for megumi to check. the black haired kid shrivels up into the couch the further gojo leans down. megumi considers summoning his newly discovered jujutsu technique, hoping to avoid his fate.
“—toru? what are you doing?” your voice, like a divine intervention, stops gojo from sending megumi to the depths of despair. a sigh of relief escapes his lips.
now it was his turn to watch gojo squirm. the older male’s face contorts to an awkward smile and all of a sudden gojo is reduced to nothing but a mess.
“don’t worry about it darling!” gojo slowly turns around to face you. “agh—?!”
megumi has to peek around satoru’s big frame to see what elicited such a response from the man.
he’s met with a wave of underwhelming familiarity. there you stand, clad in a frilly apron with a wooden spoon in hand, the essence of domesticity incarnate. the soft glow of the warm kitchen lights dances around you, casting a warm aura that seems to envelop the room.
“welcome home, satoru.” you give him your signature closed eye smile. “i mean, you probably don’t consider it your home but—“
you’re cut off by satoru banging his head on the nearest wall repeatedly. he’s muttering something under his breath that you don’t hear.
to his dismay, megumi's keen ears catch every syllable. satoru's voice, though hushed, carries a hint of longing, "what an angel," he whispers, his words laced with adoration. "just marry me already."
unamused, he watches while you try to desperately pry gojo from his strange outburst.
a lost cause indeed.
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2009
in that very year, megumi learns that gojo’s efforts to win your affection had yielded no progress. it had become increasingly apparent that his frequent visits to megumi and tsumiki's humble home were motivated to immerse himself in the semblance of domesticity that your presence offered. megumi almost pitied the man, if it wasn’t for the fact that he knew you deserve someone more sensible.
me
[name]
[nameeeee]
i’m dying.
and it’s your fault t^t
[name] ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
excuse me?
me
i’ll have you know that i worked the hardest that i have ever worked to finish all of my paperwork so i could see you tonight… only to find out from megumi that you’re on a date?!!?
i feel like my chest is caving in. 
i’m going to throw up.
[name] ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
oh this is what you’re interrupting my date for?
me
i’m going to be sick.
please tell me, is he hotter than me? wealthier? funnier?
megumi quickly looks away from gojo’s phone screen when the white haired male slams it shut and mutters under his breath a couple of curses. he’s pretty sure half of them were death threats.  honestly, couldn't you have attracted someone with more dignity?
“change of plans,” gojo claps his hands together. “movie night’s off.”
“what?” megumi protests, confusion etched in his features.
“our beloved [name] is getting swept off of her feet. you wouldn’t want that to happen, right?” gojo continues, his tone light but his gaze sharp as it bores into megumi's soul. something unpleasant coils in the pit of his stomach.
megumi feels a chill run down his spine, his mind racing with the implications of gojo's words. if you choose to date this new guy, he realizes, you won't need him or gojo anymore. and that thought terrifies him. it pains megumi to feed into gojo's delusions.
but he can’t let this unnamed suitor steal you away.
a wolfish grin makes its way to gojo’s mouth when he realizes that he’s won.
“what's the plan?”
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2016
it was only years later that megumi had seen the true monster that lurks inside of gojo satoru. 
on a hot summer evening, amidst a gathering of esteemed clan heads, he and satoru found themselves in a traditional chamber. while the finer details of the meeting escape his memory, the image of the room that altered his perception of gojo satoru is etched in his mind indefinitely. the wooden walls, adorned with subtle yet elegant designs, speak volumes about the room’s significance as a venue for the most influential members of jujutsu society.
throughout the meeting, he finds himself driving in and out of focus, content to let his mentor represent the gojo clan. however, his attention is abruptly seized by a particular remark that cuts through the haze of his thoughts.
“how’s that whore of yours, gojo?” a clan head jeered, clearly drunk on the sake that was constantly refilled by the servant on the side. his flushed complexion is scarcely discernible thanks to the dim glow emanating from the few lanterns scattered around the room. 
there was only one person he could have been referring to: you. underneath the wooden table, his fingers tightened painfully into fists. pretentious bastards, megumi thinks.
another geezer rubbed his beard thoughtfully, “she has a nice body. perfect to be a concubine, but i would marry a more submissive woman.”
megumi's gaze stealthily darts towards gojo, seated beside him.
he’s startled to find the white-haired man wears a wide grin that belies a hidden truth. unseen by the elders before them, lurking beneath gojo's outward expression, is a manic gleam in his eyes—a revelation that sends a shiver down megumi's spine.
“i’d hold my tongue if i were you.” gojo satoru’s voice was dripping with venom. he sounded downright murderous.
"i'm right, am i not? we can share her if you'd like- name the price." the drunkard continues loudly.
megumi senses an instinctive wave of primal dread washing over him, compelling him with an urgent, almost instinctual need to flee or die.
before he can move a muscle, the flames that surround the room flicker before extinguishing in succession by an unknown force. the metallic stench of blood fills the air and all he can hear is the sound of flesh mutilating and bones crushing accompanied by the painful shouts of the men that once sat in front of him. he doesn’t have to see it with his own eyes to be able to sense gojo’s strong curse residue that suffocates the room.
“stand up megumi. we’re leaving.” his voice carries a feral edge, leaving no room for objection.
on their way out of the compound, the two don’t utter a word at what had just transpired. 
megumi's gaze remains fixed on the ground beneath his feet, the images of the recent events swirling in his mind, leaving him unsettled and shaken. with each step, he grapples with the unsettling realization that beneath gojo satoru's charismatic facade lies a darker, more sinister nature.
the strongest sorcerer of today, riled up by the mere mention of your name.
megumi supposes he doesn’t feel much remorse for those clan heads anyway. he was never the type to mourn over people he didn’t know dying. especially not people who he knew would live on to do evil. it doesn’t help that they were blatantly disrespecting you. perhaps he could sympathize with the monster inside of gojo.
oblivious to the turmoil that stirs inside of megumi, gojo starts to smile.
“i know what you’re going to say,” gojo hums happily. “gojo sensei, you’re so cool! i approve of you marrying my beloved [name]! kyaa~’” he makes a pathetic attempt to imitate megumi. 
the black haired boy grunts. he was going to say something along the lines of his approval for his benefactor, but all desires of flattering the white haired sorcerer disappeared.
gojo watches the black haired boy intently before tutting.
“not that it matters.” megumi is startled to hear how his voice dropped an octave. “i was always going to marry [name] and i’ll be damned to let anyone stop me.” 
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2018 – present day
after satiating his students with tales from his pining days, your husband comes home often clingier than normal (is that even possible?). the moment satoru enters your home, his arms envelop you, caging you in his hold.
you can't help but giggle as his hair brushes against the side of your neck, his embrace pulling you in close, as if he's inhaling your presence.  his muscles flex when you attempt to slip away, keeping you in his tight embrace.
“sato– what is going on?!” 
“is it a crime to show my wife some love?” he kisses your neck. when his flurry of kisses stop, he resorts to absorbing all of your features with those cerulean eyes of his.
you don’t bother pushing him away again, choosing to thread your fingers through his soft hair. even after all these years, you will never not feel the effect of satoru’s eyes on you.
“i was telling my first years about you today,” he says softly.
you smile, “is that so?”
he pushes his nose into your neck again, nodding.
“you’re so good to them,” you whisper. despite the initial shock behind satoru choosing to pursue education, you’re extremely proud of how far he’s come.
“mhm,” satoru inhales. “i’d be good to our little ones too.” one of his hands sneak to your stomach.
you delicately guide his face away from your form, your fingers tenderly urging him to meet your gaze. "is there something you want to tell me?" you inquire softly, your eyes reflecting the warmth of your affection.
satoru's smirk deepens, a glint of mischief dancing in his eyes. "perhaps," he murmurs, his touch light as he guides you towards the bedroom. without hesitation, you yield to his lead, eager at his sudden intimate gesture.
from outside your home, three first year students stand, waiting for their sensei’s cue to enter.
“do you think he’s forgotten about us?” yuji furrows his eyebrows, hands full of grocery bags that were going to be prepared for dinner.
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extra notes. had the idea of gojo and megumi crashing your date in my drafts for so long. maybe ill elaborate on it if the ppl want to see :,)
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theartofangirling · 8 months
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part 3 of the 2023 version of this post: adult books!
part 1: middle grade books | part 2: young adult books
this is a very incomplete list, as these are only books I've read and enjoyed. not all books are going to be for all readers, so I'd recommend looking up synopses and content warnings. feel free to message me with any questions about specific representation!
list of books under the cut ⬇️
yerba buena by nina lacour
if we were villains by m.l. rio
everyone in this room will someday be dead by emily r. austin
i want to be a wall by honami shirono
portrait of a thief by grace d. li
the thirty names of night by zeyn joukhadar
on earth we're briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong
love & other disasters by anita kelly
take a hint, dani brown by talia hibbert
boyfriend material by alexis hall
almost like being in love by steve kluger
the charm offensive by alison cochrun
something wild & wonderful by anita kelly
red, white & royal blue by casey mcquiston
something to talk about by meryl wilsner
honey girl by morgan rogers
one last stop by casey mcquiston
once ghosted, twice shy by alyssa cole
kiss her once for me by alison cochrun
a spindle splintered by alix e. harrow
finna by nino cipri
every heart a dooryway by seanan mcguire
the starless sea by erin morgenstern
under the whispering door by tj klune
space opera by catherynne m. valente
light from uncommon stars by ryka aoki
dead collections by isaac fellman
the city we became by n.k. jemisin
light carries on by ray nadine
an absolutely remarkable thing by hank green
feed them silence by lee mandelo
summer sons by lee mandelo
upright women wanted by sarah gailey
lavender house by lev a.c. rosen
fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fannie flagg
the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid
a master of djinn by p. djeli clark
witchmark by c.l. polk
a marvellous light by freya marske
a restless truth by freya marske
when women were dragons by kelly barnhill
plain bad heroines by emily m. danforth
a lady for a duke by alexis hall
infamous by lex croucher
passing strange by ellen klages
even though i knew the end by c.l. polk
the chosen and the beautiful by nghi vo
whiskey when we're dry by john larison
wake of vultures by lila bowen
silver in the wood by emily tesh
the once and future witches by alix e. harrow
the kingdoms by natasha pulley
a tip for the hangman by allison epstein
she who became the sun by shelley parker-chan
the song of achilles by madeline miller
spear by nicola griffith
this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone
gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir
some desperate glory by emily tesh
all systems red by martha wells
a psalm for the wild built by becky chambers
the mimicking of known successes by malka older
winter's orbit by everina maxwell
fireheart tiger by aliette de bodard
empress of salt and fortune by nghi vo
legends and lattes by travis baldree
the house in the cerulean sea by tj klune
other ever afters by melanie gillman
the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon
a day of fallen night by samantha shannon
a strange and stubborn endurance by foz meadows
the unbroken by c.l. clark
real queer america by samantha allen
fun home by alison bechdel
in the dream house by carmen maria machado
better living through birding by christian cooper
why fish don't exist by lulu miller
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Text
only you | y.j.i
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-> the first i love you m.list
pairing... bf!jeongin x gn!reader tags... fluff, established relationship, soft pda, skz teasing their maknae 😖
jeongin doesn’t like affection. except when it comes from you, and only you.
wc... 933 words a/n... inspired by this request! this took much longer to write than i would've liked hahaha,, but here it is! it's a bit different that the others but i really did enjoy making it so i hope you all enjoy <3 let me know what you think!!!
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
“This can't actually be my mission, it's impossible!” Jisung exclaimed in disbelief. He showed the camera his paper which read ‘Hug I.N for 5 seconds.’
Everyone knew that the youngest of the group valued his personal space, which posed a huge challenge for Jisung. It didn’t help that Jisung was terribly obvious about his mission, making his target even harder to catch. He spent the whole day chasing Jeongin around the venue of their shoot trying to wrap his arms around the boy. But, it was all to no avail, and he had failed his mission—which surprised no one.
Although the shoot was finished and the missions were over, Jisung was still trying to succeed, even getting the other members to help him.
“Yah, get away from me!” Jeongin laughed as he moved to shield himself behind the black couch by the dressing room's wall, crouching down in an attempt to protect himself. “Why are you all chasing me? I've done nothing wrong!”
“You know, all you’ve done is corner yourself. Now Jisung is guaranteed to get you.” Seungmin remarked unhelpfully from the corner of the room, where he watched the whole scene with an amused smile on his face.
Jeongin’s jaw dropped as Jisung moved forward to grab him, but the younger boy quickly escaped. However, Jisung managed to capture his arm, keeping him from leaving successfully.
“I got you, Innie-ah! Now you have to accept my hug!” Jisung taunted in a singsong voice, as Jeongin wriggled his arm.
“I don't want your hugs. I don’t want your affection, shoo! Leave me and my personal space alone,” he cried, trying to pull away from his captor.
Minho scoffed at the youngest as he continued to struggle in Jisung's grasp. “Don't lie, you loooove affection. We see you with Y/n all the time, you stick to them like a puppy to its mother!”
As if on cue, the door to the dressing room creaked open, drawing the eight boys’ attention to the person walking through.
“Y/n!” Jeongin came running to you, finally breaking free from Jisung's hold. He hid behind your back, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “Save me, please. They’re trying to attack me, or something.”
Taken aback, you laughed as you watched Minho point at Jeongin and shout, “See, you just proved my point!”
Jeongin tucked his head into your neck, shielding himself from his older members’ teases. You greeted the other members with a shy smile, dragging yourself and your koala of a boyfriend to sit on the couch.
“What did you guys do to him?” After a failed attempt to pry Jeongin off of your body, you gave up and leaned back on the couch as the other boys continued to tease him.
“We didn’t do anything! He won’t let us do anything.” Jisung crossed his arms and playfully pouted.
“Alright, alright,” Chan lightly tugged Jisung towards the door. “Let's let the love birds have some alone time.”
Jeongin scrunched his nose at the title, making some of the guys snicker.
“We'll be back in ten minutes, don't do anything dumb!” With that, the seven boys left you and Jeongin alone to lounge on the dressing room couch.
Though he was still sprawled atop your body, Jeongin seemed to relax at the absence of his members and melt further in your arms, making you smile at the boy.
“So, what was all that about?” You tangled your fingers in Jeongin’s curls, twirling the soft strands.
“Jisung had a dumb mission for our video and they all ganged up on me.” He looked up at you with a pout situated on his face. “They’re bullies, I’m telling you.”
Jeongin buried his face in your neck, rubbing his face against the soft fabric of your turtleneck. You gently massaged the base of his nape, humming as you urged him to continue his story.
“I was running away from them all day, mostly to make Jisung fail his mission,” he let out a chuckle. “But I also didn't feel up for any of their affection. I don't like when people get all up in my personal space.”
“What? But you love when I'm all affectionate with you,” you teased, poking at your boyfriend's cheek.
“Yeah, I’m only like that with you! You make me feel giddy and happy and sweet when I’m around you.” Jeongin mumbled into your shirt. “But that's probably because I love you.”
Your eyes widened at his confession and you nervously let out a breathy laugh. “What did you just say?”
“I love you?” Jeongin tilted his head up at you, confusion clouding his eyes. “Have I not told you that before?”
“No, no you have not,” you laughed softly as you gently moved him off your chest and guided his head so that you were eye-to-eye. “You really mean it?”
Jeongin flashed a gentle smile, showing off his adorable dimples, and brought his hand to the side of your face. His thumb brushed the apple of your cheek as he replied, “Of course I mean it. I love you, and only you”
You placed your hand over his and guided it back to place it on your neck. You pulled him into a hug, your arms tightened around his middle, and you whispered into his ear, “I love you, too, Innie.”
Behind the door, you could vaguely hear Jisung whining about failing his mission, but you paid him no mind. You were already set on soaking up the rest of your ten minutes of peace with your one and only sweet, cuddly, and affectionate boyfriend in your arms.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
taglist: @kflixnet @jinnixxn @elllisaaa @captainchrisstan @laylasbunbunny @starsandrqindrops @fiqire
comments, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated! © like-a-diamondinthesky 2023
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queenimmadolla · 4 months
Text
𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
(eddie munson x pregnant!reader)
Summary: You and Eddie discuss your current pregnancy craving...or, in which you want something not all that common of a craving and ridiculously difficult to get a hold of, and Eddie teases you over it even though you both know he's going to get it for you.
warnings: references to baby making activities.
a/n: those damn tiktoks keep getting to me. lil drabble. more dad!eddie here. masterlist.
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Pregnancy was not something Eddie Munson believed he would ever understand. Wasn’t something he thought he’d have to do.
  Until—at the very responsible age of twenty─he took to finishing inside of you and one of his swimmers took. Played hide-and-seek for a good five months before either of you knew she was there.
  You hadn’t started showing until about two or three weeks after finding out, and now at almost seven months, you had the cutest baby bump Eddie couldn’t keep his hands off, a ravenous hunger for the most peculiar things and absolutely no tolerance for the weirdest fucking things; the sound of kernels popping made you want to throw up, and so did the scent of baked goods and the ‘air on Tuesdays’ (Eddie was still trying to work that one out).
  Whatever you wanted, Eddie got you. Albeit, with tons of questions asked. Like, right now.
  It was late in the evening, chilly throughout the trailer but warm in the room thanks to the trusty space heater Eddie had had for years. The both of you had traded your day clothes for pajamas, so you were in one of his t-shirts and nothing else while he was only clad in a pair of sweats because his body temperature always ran a little on the hot side, and you were curled right up to him. Your head had been previously nuzzling into the crook of his neck, placing kisses over the tendons there and nosing along his jaw but now it was craned back, batting those pretty eyelashes up at him with pleading eyes and a pout.
  “Pleeeaaaaase, Eddie?”
  “Branzino.” Eddie repeated your request with amused disbelief.
  “It’s low in mercury, so I can eat it.”
  “Branzino.”
  “It’s what she wants!” You chirped, moving a hand to rest over your growing bump. Baby Munson, your little Penny, had recently learned she had legs and could stretch them out in there. Despite the two of you settling down, she seemed to be filled with energy; you could feel her moving around, targeting certain areas with her kicks. She’d been pretty still for a good hour or two so you thought she might have woken up from a nap. 
  “Yeah?” Eddie asked, quirking his brows with lidded eyes, so engrossed with how caring you were for his baby already. 
  Witnessing you go from awkwardly acknowledging her existence with a pat or uncertain conversation to almost always having a hand over your bump, as if to protect her from a threat while talking to her as though she was already cradled in your arms, had Eddie always so tender with emotion. 
  He was so proud and in love.
  You hummed in confirmation and when Eddie’s hand moved your (his) shirt up, you immediately grasped his wrist to place his palm over the area your baby’s foot was currently pressing up against. Eddie grinned as he felt the movement just under the warmth of your skin, firm and held surprisingly long before it retreated and he rubbed over the area as you relaxed further into him.
  “She was stretching.” He correctly deduced. 
  “Mhm, she’s been kicking the heck out of my ribcage, so I think her head is right here.” You placed your free hand over your bump, just under your left breast, “She only got active after we showered, so she just woke up.”
  Eddie felt a little guilty about that, it had probably been him railing you against the shower wall that stirred her from her slumber.
  “Sorry, sweet pea.” He mumbled, continuing to rub your belly if not somewhat more apologetic, “I’m just so excited that I can’t get your mom pregnant right now, ‘cause we already have you, and she’s just so horn—“
  Eddie laughed as you delivered a swift whack to his chest with the back of your hand, fighting a smile as he teased you through an attempt to talk to your baby.
  “Excuse me, you were the one trying to feel me up on the couch!”
  “No, I did feel you up. And if I recall correctly, which I do, it was my fingers you were cum—“
  “Distracting!” You pointed an accusatory finger in his face, booping the tip of his nose with it, “You’re trying to distract me. Branzino.”
  “Ugh,” Eddie sagged into the pillows, but the smirk on his face told you you’d be getting exactly what you wanted, like always. He just liked to give you a hard time. Banter with you was like foreplay to him. “Alright, alright. Since you must have your fish dish─”
  “I must,” You placed the back of your hand against your forehead as you fell dramatically back into the pillows.
  “And since she’s craving it─”
  “She wants branzino so badly and I’d get it for her myself but I’m utterly exhausted─no, not because we had sex,” You had immediately clocked the grinch like twist in his smirk at your mentioning of exhaustion, “I’ll have you know I probably made a good chunk of her brain today. That takes energy. Dedication. And she probably sucked the bone marrow out of me to do it, or something.”
  Eddie threw his head back and howled with laughter. You giggled along with him but tried to reason, “Okay, I’m not being completely dramatic, though! She really does steal some of my own body to make hers! I could lose my teeth, Eddie. I read it in a book.”
  The bed shook with how hard Eddie was laughing and you delighted in being the reason behind it. Once he calmed down, his head lulled to the side, cheeks red from all that amusement and warm brown hues focused on you.
  “You read it in a book, huh?”
  “Yup.”
  “Ask your doctor about it?”
  “Nope.”
  “Why not?”
  “…’Cause I’m scared she’ll say it’s true.”
  You sent Eddie into another laughing fit. When he was done with that one, he launched himself out of bed and you snuggled into the spot he’d occupied—so warm and cozy—to watch him grab a shirt and hoodie from the closet, and his jacket from where he’d thrown it on the dresser. A beanie was shoved on his head and as he wrapped the scarf you’d gotten him around his neck, he eyed you with mirth twinkling in his pretty eyes.
  “Branzino in the middle of winter.”
  “It’s what she wants!”
  “It’s what she wants.” He conceded with a fond smile, “I’ll be back after like an hour and a half of driving around to find a Greek place open so you can replenish your bone marrow with it somehow and grow the rest of her brain.”
  You hummed in appreciation, beaming at him as he neared you to lean over and get a thorough kiss goodbye. 
  “Thank you,” You mumbled shyly against his mouth.
  “You don’t have to thank me . . . but you’re welcome.” He teased.
  Driving around in the cold didn't seem all that terrible with you blowing him kisses from the bed, and his baby growing inside you. 
  That damn fish was so worth it.
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moumouton4 · 7 months
Note
Hello there! I was thinking if you want to write more for Mash but if you wanna write another characters, that’s fine! I’m sorry I just live my boy Mash🥺❤️
7 Minutes In Heaven || Mashle Burnedead x fem!reader
A/n : Finally made it omg it too me so much time but it really worth it. Hope you all enjoy it 🍦🥮
Warning : Fluf fluf fluff, I tried comedy since the first season gave us almost only this, still trying to make it a strong suit 😂
Masterlist ⚜
I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it
Word count : 2011
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You were all sitting in a circle on the wooden floor of Mashle and Finn’s dorm. It was only supposed to be a nice and chill afternoon gathering with all your friends, as y’all had the afternoon free for the first time in the year. Lemon had brought cup cakes, Dot a lot of candies, you the drinks and Lance, well, Lance only brought himself but it was the intention that counted. Of course a lot of puff creams were present at your little party.
The atmosphere was light and cheerful, everyone was talking and laughing. After a moment, y’all reached the agreement that it was time to play a game or two. After a few proposals, truth or dare was the first game to catch everyone’s attention.
“Come on ! Come on !” everyone cheered.
“I’m not going to answer this” Lance stated, as a pink hue spread on his cheekbones ( if you ask nicely I can tell you what question he was asked hehe )
“Okay… then I dare you to give me your necklace for the rest of the day !” Dot laughed loudly like an antagonist ( Light Yagami supremacy )
Lance’s hand flew to his jewel that he clutched in his hand “Fine fine I’ll answer” he said looking away “3 times…. Happy now ?”
“Yes very” smugly said the red haired man.
Then it was your turn and Lemon, who was in a very playful mood sing-sang “Y/n truth or dare ?”
You looked in front of you, you just knew by the tone of her voice that she was going to do something, your eyes met Mashle’s and then hers. She fricking knew ! And she was surely going to add her touch to it. You were focused on the truth part, thinking about all the possibilities of questions that could be asked. So you went with the dare.
“Dare” you said, half reassured about what was to come.
“I dare you too…” she thought about it looking everywhere around the room, and then her eyes landed - as if faith had decided it - on the door of the storage room of the dorm. A smirk appeared on her lips as she stated “I dare you to stay in there with Mashle for 7 minutes” her finger pointed towards the nearby door.
Your eyes widened “Huh ?!? Did you even go there ? It’s so narrow, we won’t never fit…” as you continued trying to find your wait out of this dare, Mashle sat there, looking at the people speaking, his head looking at one side and the at the other - as if he was watching a tennis game - a puff cream in his hand as he munched on it. He seemed… unfazed, true to his form.
“Nah Y/n it’s your dare. You don’t want to be a loser now, do you ?” she teased knowing that you were far from being someone to let herself be pushed around.
“Fine I accept the dare. But now it’s his turn to say if he is up to or not” you hoped he would refuse so that the next truth would be on him, but as much you wanted him to accept, find yourself in this enclosed space, so so close to his strong body…
“No no no !” a roaring voice abruptly stopped your train of thoughts “Why is he the one allowed to be in there with her ! He is already stealing all the girls’ attention ! That’s unfair ! I want to be with her there too !” Dot continued, his exuberant personality on full displated, making you all chuckle, Lance sigh and Mashle look at him with indifference.
“Why is being in a closet part of the game ?” he asked, his mouth still stuffed with the sweet pastry ( that’s a pleonasm lmao of course it’s sweet )
“It’s like seven minutes in heaven, you know the game” added Finn, who tried to explain to his friend.
“You mean seven minutes in a closet ?” the raven haired boy asked rather matter of factly.
“In heaven idiot !” chipped in Dot, who was still very unhappy that Mashle was the one who could enjoy the company of a female “It’s a gorgeous woman you’ll be with, not some brooms !”
His words touched your heart, making you blush, it’s been years you know him and yet you still can’t keep a straight face when he says this kind of thing.
“We don’t have any brooms”
“OOH COME ON JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION !”
“Yeah it’s easy to stay in a closet” Mashle finally answered, making Lemon smile as she got up and rushed to you, ready to push you in the storage room with the boy she knew you liked.
With his long legs, Mashle was within a second in front of the door, ready to open it “Nooo !” screamed Finn “That’s fine Imma open it for you guys” he said sweating, he didn’t really want to have another door to be replaced again.
Mashle didn’t say anything and entered docilely in the storage room. You followed suit as Lemon literally threw you inside. You also almost crashed to him - and his huge muscles gahh - sending a wave of red on your cheeks. The door closed rather roughly, because of how excited your friend was.
“Enjoy your seven minutes in heaven guys” she shouted, so that you could hear her.
“Yeah but don’t get too cozy in there” Dot screamed from behind the door.
Now it was just you and him - and your over-beating heart. You wondered if he could hear it in this dimly lit room, though knowing him he wouldn’t have even noticed. You felt your face getting warmer, it felt like you were in a dream. Like how come you even got you and him in this narrow room. Your brain was working at full speed to manage and find something to talk about and not make these seven minutes the most cringy and awkward seven minutes of both your lives - again Mashle doesn’t even seem to know those feelings.
As you were about to say something he went first “What are we supposed to do in there ?”
Did he seriously not have a single clue ( of course not 😂 )
“W-well, usually people talk and see if they like each other more than friends… I guess” your brain was actually sweating, trying not to blurt out that you’re so in love with him since the second day - because seriously on the first one he looked pretty dumb.
“Okay…” he said, looking down at you. He was pretty tall, besides the narrowed space was close to pressing you together, so as he spoke to you you could almost feel his breath on your hair “And what happens if they do ?”
Your eyes widened slightly, you clearly weren’t expecting this answer coming from him, since when was he so invested in a discussion that wasn’t about puff creams. You swallowed hoping that your voice wouldn’t crack as you answer.
“T-they kiss ?” you said, rather as if it was more a question than an answer, your arms raising at your sides to show you weren’t sure 🤷‍♀️ - you were “O-of course they have to both agree about their feelings”
“Okay. Do you like me ?” he said bluntly. You choked on your spit “Huh ?!? W-why are you asking this ?”
“Well to know if you like me too, so that I can kiss you, like the game says” he simply said, as if he didn’t at all reveal to you that he liked you and wanted to kiss you. You hoped he at least knew the game wasn’t actually demanding him to act on his feelings if he didn’t want to.
“Erm- huh… you know… well… yes ?” you said, almost scared there could be a wrong answer to his question.
As soon as the words left you lips he somehow managed to come closer to you, his chest was now pressed against your, if you leaned you could set your head on his strong body.
“Can I kiss you ?” he asked. And now your throat clearly couldn't speak any words. You only nodded. He leaned in, his hair slightly grazing the top of your hair. You looked up at him, gosh he was breathtaking even in this closet. Leaning further down, his breath fanned over your lips “I’m going to kiss you now”
And with that his lips - finally - made contact with yours in a soft almost shy kiss, as if he was scared - in the back of his head - to hurt you in any way or do something that could be seen as wrong or inappropriate. On the other side of the kiss you melted against his mouth, his lips tasted like whipped cream and sugar. But then soon, too soon, he pulled away. His cheeks were somehow flushed and for the first time you’ve seen his gaze avert from yours as if he was being… shy ? about the whole thing, after everything he has said before.
You gently wrapped your arms around his neck, so as not to startle him and brought your head closer to his “Do mind if I ?” you didn’t even need to finish your sentence that his voice, now hoarse came out breathlessly “Yes”
You kissed him, your eyes closing ( I seriously his would stay open in the beginning and you’d have to be like “Mashle can you close them it's weird” lmao. Not saying you can’t keep them open if you want though ) This time, he wrapped his arms around you drawing you even closer, his kiss was a bit clumsy and seriously you were almost suffocating in his embrace but still it was an amazing moment.
He turned his head to deepen the kiss, your nose brushed, eliciting a quiet giggle from you. He smiled in the kiss. This was different from everything he has ever known, he silently promised himself to protect you with everything he could, just like he promised his father. After you broke the kiss he took a sharp intake of breath as his sole action put him in a state of out of breathness that he never encountered before. Maybe that was being in love.
Not long after the door opened as Lemon’s head picked inside, soon followed by Dot’s who was very eager to see if anything had happened and if Mashle had yet again stolen another woman of this damn school. You both jumped away from each other, Mashle almost went through the wall.
“The seven minutes are over !”
“No please don’t tell me you’ve got her too ?!?” in reality Mashle didn’t get any girl from the beginning of his curriculum. There was just Dot being overly jealous, because he didn’t attract any women like he would have wanted.
“Iiiiiiiih Y/n ! You did it girl !” she wanted to hug you tightly but three people couldn't enter the storage room at the same time, so she waited for you to come out. She almost tackled you to the ground.
Mashle went back to sit down, his cheeks still reddened from the kisses you shared in that enclosed space. Both Finn and Lance looked at him weirdly as if they had seen something totally out of the ordinary, and it was. The raven haired boy, even apart from you, couldn't keep his eyes from drifting to your form. Hugging you or kissing you more seemed very enticing and soothing at the moment.
“Y-you okay Mashle ?” asked Finn, looking at him and then back at you, who was coming to sit back down with the others.
“Yeah I just wish the game wasn’t called after seven minutes. It’s too short” he said, biting in yet another puff cream, as if he yet again didn’t confess something rather personal. The other boy blushed at the admission. Dot continued grumbling in the background and Lance was looking through the window, trying to act unfazed and tough. Your eyes met Mashle’s and he gave you a smile before extending a puff cream at you. Yes it was clearly his way of saying that he loved you.
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armysantiny · 2 months
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-[chan; soft bf headcanon
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P: Chan x gender neutral reader | G: fluff, headcanon | Inc: graphic designer!reader, getting together, friends to lovers, the rest of skz being (lovingly) fed up, date nights, late night walks | Wc: 503 | W: none iirc | R: G
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My favourite single father of seven/j
Meeting Chan was almost fate, honestly
You’re a graphic designer and happen to love designing album covers
Stray Kids were finishing up an album and needed a graphic designer to help create the album covers
Lo and behold~
You and Chan meet!
Bonding during meeting after meeting while the creative process goes about working its magic
The bonding sessions turn into dropping by each other’s workspace
By which I mean you  visiting Chan’s studio pretty much every time you have a lunch break and bringing a snack with you
Which he greatly appreciates <3
Because he never leaves that room/j
The speed at which you two become best friends is impeccable
Very much a duo – especially the kind that are always seen hanging out together
The feelings start not too long after too
There is one problem though... you’re both oblivious
Painfully oblivious
Somehow you both can’t see that the other is head over heels, and it doesn’t take long for the rest of skz to start taking matters into their own hands
They love you, really, but the running around in circles is going to drive them a little mad
Just a little :D
They keep trying to bash hints over your heads
Which is ironic because the confession happens so quickly
Catches everyone off guard fr
The two of you are hanging out late and it gets blurted out
Cue quick discussion over what you want in a relationship and boom—
Y’all are a couple now! Everyone liked that
Chan being your boyfriend comes with seven other people because none of these men know what the meaning of the phrase personal space is
Baby I don’t make the rules here, this is just the truth
You take it in stride though, which Chan appreciates
Oh yeah, and this man is a hugger
A certified cuddler I’m telling you
I’m convinced he needs his arms around you for thirty minutes a day, every day, at least
Will have you sit in his lap while he works so he can get his daily y/n cuddles
Try to move and watch him whine I swear—
Do you not want his affection anymore??/j
Lmao but despite how busy the both of you are, date nights are wonderful
He plans dinner reservations on days you’re both free and refuses to listen to anyone asking him to work
Date nights are for the two of you and the two of you only <33
Walks hand-in-hand with you after dinner and you stop by a few stalls
If you happen to pass by an arcade, he’s gonna win you a plushie from the claw machine
Sure he spends a little too much on it, but it’s all good fun
Especially worth it to see your face when he does win a plushie
And sure, your friends are more than happy that you’re dating Chan
But they are a little jealous
Because who doesn’t want a relationship like yours
You lucky darling, you~
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Honey Girl. Chapter Five.
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Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three. Chapter Four. Chapter Six. Chapter Seven. Chapter Eight. Chapter Nine. Series Masterlist. The Playlist.
Chapter Synopsis - Does absence make the heart grow fonder, or does it just make everything ten times more difficult?
Pairing - Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au
Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol consumption. angst. mention of illness.
Age Rating - 18+
Word Count - 5.7k
Author's Note - it's here!! as always, I can't thank you enough for your love, support and patience with this fic. us writers lead busy lives, and i've been trying my hardest to find the time to write whenever I can, so it means so much that you guys stick with me - even when things take longer than expected. love you all. you're angels. please feel free to spam my inbox with thoughts and suggestions - it always makes my day when you're all so passionate. mwah.
as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3
Masterlist. Inbox.
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The sand is warm beneath your feet, cooling breeze cascading across your skin. The waves caress the shore in repetitive motions, lulling you into calm.
Sunlight beaming down, you shield your eyes and look up, sighing in contentment at the shades of blue that paint the sky.
A shriek and a laugh come from somewhere on your right. You look over and see a couple and their toddler running after each other, sprinting down the beach and into the ocean. The little girl can't stop giggling, tripping over her own feet as she chases her parents. Something tugs at your heart, deep and visceral.
It's been three months since you left home.
It's been three months since you saw Bucky.
He calls every few days, trying to give you the space you need while also keeping in touch. You have to resist the urge to call him every ten minutes. It's an improvement, at least. It was five minutes when you first moved.
He texts you good morning and goodnight everyday without fail, just to let you know he's there. You can't sleep until you get his text. It's like a lullaby, reassuring and soothing. Like a chamomile tea, warming and calming you from the inside out.
You think about him the most at night time. Your days are spent running around preparing for the bakery. Testing, retesting, writing up recipes, measuring out quantities. You want it to be perfect.
The baking is taking your mind off Bucky, for the moment at least. You've thrown yourself into your new role, eager and excited. Stella's ecstatic to have you around. You love that you're still just as close as you were, despite the time apart. Friendships like that are rare.
Lacie calls you most nights. She demands to know what you did that day, who you spoke to, what you made. It's like therapy, sitting and decompressing together over videochat. She's a lifeline, whether she knows it or not.
And of course, the most supportive people in your life - your parents. Your Mom is desperate to come and visit, begging that you let her know when you're less busy so you can show her around. She loves the sunshine just as much as you. A woman after your own heart.
On the nights when the doubt creeps in, unwelcome and dark, you remind yourself how lucky you are. Surrounded by people who adore you, support you, love you unconditionally. And then the night doesn't seem so dark. The light pours through the cracks.
You walk home from the beach, warmed and carried by the knowledge of love.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
"This is ridiculous."
Stella's perched on the edge of your countertop, blush pink macaron in her hand.
"Good ridiculous?"
She scoffs, looking at you incredulously.
"Where did your confidence go? You never doubted yourself in school. Yes, good ridiculous. It shouldn't work, but it does."
Shouldn't work, but it does. Seems to be the story of your life at the moment.
"I need these on the menu."
"You don't think they're a little... pretentious? My best seller is a chocolate chip cookie. A honey and rosewater macaron isn't exactly a childhood favourite."
"Babe. That's the beauty of this. You can put whatever the hell you want out in your bakery. So what if they're unconventional? They're delicious. That's all that matters."
"Okay. Fine."
You relent, thinking about her earlier question. Where did your confidence go? When you graduated culinary school, you never doubted your abilities. Your technique, your flavours, your presentation - you had full faith in all of it. Now, you seem to be second guessing yourself.
You know it's because of your Tethering.
Before, you understood how the world worked. Good, bad, in between. Love, lust, the very clear difference between the two. You watched as other people found their forever person, and acknowledged their new journey.
And then you found Bucky. Or, Bucky found you.
Suddenly, the world you'd lived in before no longer made sense. The people, the places, the relationships, all impacted by the way you feel about your soulmate. Everything, everyone, everywhere, reminds you of Bucky. You're experiencing emotions you've never felt before. It's disorientating, confusing, complex. Your understanding of the world has changed completely.
It takes time to adjust.
No one ever talks about the way your Tethering turns your life upside down.
For some, it's completely positive. They enjoy the uprooting, revel in the change.
For others, it's a huge adaptation. One filled with tears, and confusion, and doubts.
Both are valid. Both are understandable.
You remind yourself of this every day.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
"There's someone in the café that wants to speak to you."
The youngest waitress, Isabel, stands in the kitchen doorway, looking at you hopefully. You set down your piping bag and wash your hands, talking to her over your shoulder.
"Who is it?"
"No idea. Some guy. He's kinda hot. Brown hair, tall, beard."
Your heart skips a beat, breath caught in your lungs. Bucky jokes sometimes about coming to see you, but would he just show up announced? Do you want him to?
You can't feel it in your chest, you realise suddenly. You can't feel the ease, the relief, the knowing. Maybe being apart for so long has weakened your connection. The thought makes you strangely emotional.
You inhale carefully and thank her, before making your way out. It's almost closing time, and there's no one around other than the man stood with his back to you.
He turns around, and you realise quickly that your hope was misplaced. You've never seen this person before. He is handsome, admittedly. But he's not your soulmate.
"Hi."
"Hey. Are you the baker here?"
"I am."
He holds out his hand for you to shake, stepping closer.
"I'm Rafael."
You tell him your name, and he smiles, nodding.
"Forgive me if this is weird, but I had to meet you. To thank you properly, in person."
You don't say anything, so he continues.
"Let me, uh, explain. Sorry, should have started with that. My sister is sick. She's going through treatment currently, and it's been super hard on her. She's had no appetite whatsoever, and she's losing weight rapidly."
He takes a deep breath before continuing.
"A couple of weeks ago, I picked up a load of stuff from this place because my Mom was coming to visit. My sister tried your earl grey and lavender cookie, and ate the entire thing. It was the first time I've seen her eat for weeks. So, I came back and bought basically all of them every day."
You laugh, coming to a realisation. You wondered why those cookies were selling so well all of a sudden.
"I just wanted to say thank you. It might not seem like a big deal, but it's really huge for us. I also wanted to explain why all of those cookies were suddenly going missing at like ten in the morning."
You gesture at him to sit, the both of you taking a seat at one of the tables nearby.
You talk for almost an hour, listening intently to Rafael as he tells you about his family. He moved to California to be with his sister Maria when she got sick, no one else around to care for her. He asks about yours, and you tell him about your parents and their constant encouragement. He's also interested in how you got into baking, so you tell him all about culinary school, and the dreams your Grandma gave you when you were a kid.
"You're really talented, you know."
"I bet you say that to all of the bakers around here. But thank you."
His fingers brush yours where they're resting on the table, making you shiver.
"I'll make Maria her own box, if you like. I'll leave them behind the counter, just tell Isabel who you are."
"You'd do that for her?"
"Of course," you smile. "The idea that I'm helping someone with my silly little creations makes me really happy. We can work out a schedule, and I'll make sure I bake Maria some extras when I do my usual batch."
"You're incredible. Seriously. Thank you."
He squeezes your hand and you squeeze back. The two of you are sat in the café as the sun sets, orange glow illuminating the room. You didn't expect to make a friend today. You're glad you have.
"Well, I should probably go and clean up the kitchen. You know where to find me, if you need anything. It was lovely to meet you, Rafael."
He rises when you do, smiling at you earnestly.
"You too. Nice to finally put a face to the cookie, so to speak."
You chuckle and show him out of the door, waving as he walks down the street. Suddenly, he turns around, striding back towards you.
"I'm so sorry if this is forward, and please feel free to say no, but... are you single? If you are, I'd love to ask you to dinner sometime."
The answer to that question is much more complicated than Rafael could ever imagine. So instead, you say,
"I'm not. I'm Tethered, actually."
His brows raise in surprise, but he's smiling.
"You are?"
"Yeah, I am. He doesn't live here, though. He lives back home, where my parents are."
"You guys are married?"
"No! Not yet. It's, uh... a complex... situation."
"Ah," he says, gentle, knowing look on his face. "I thought Tetherings weren't meant to be complex. Isn't that the whole point? That they're easy?"
You laugh, but it's not malicious. You're thinking about how sweetly naive he is, how he's got a huge storm coming his way one day.
"He's my Dad's best friend."
You're not sure why you're admitting this to a man you met an hour and a half ago, but you are. It's almost a relief, to get it off your chest again - to tell someone who's completely neutral, who doesn't know either of you.
"Woah."
"Yeah."
"That... is complicated."
"Yeah," you chuckle. "Understatement of the century."
Rafael leans against the wall, watching you intently. He's curious.
"How did your parents react?"
"They don't know yet."
His eyebrows raise almost comically high.
"Wait, what? How did you hide that? I thought it was supposed to be impossible to hide that you're Tethered. Although, I guess I had no idea, seeing as I asked you out."
"We wanted to figure it out for ourselves first, before telling anyone. And then I moved out here, so we're doing long distance. Like I said, complex."
"Understatement of the century," he laughs.
You look at each other for a moment, before he smiles.
"I'm sorry I asked you out. I wouldn't have, if I'd known."
"Please, don't apologise. I admire your... courage?" you grin. "And I appreciate you coming to see me today. I have like two friends here in Cali, so it's nice to feel like I've made another."
He smiles again, wider this time. Someone's going to be lucky to be Tethered to him one day, you think.
"I know it might surprise you, given my good looks and... courage," he chuckles, "but I don't have many friends out here either. I've been so focused on Maria, I haven't had time to socialise."
"The Universe works in funny ways, huh?"
"Sure does."
You wander back through the door, ready to close up for good this time.
"I'll see you tomorrow, for the cookies. And I'd love to meet Maria one day, if she's up for it."
"I'm sure she'd love to meet you. I'll bring her by."
"Thanks, Rafael."
"Of course. Thank you."
"Of course."
That night, when your Mom calls, you get to tell her you've made a new friend. That makes the both of you very happy.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
You're testing out a recipe in the kitchen of your new apartment when your phone rings.
"Hey, Dad."
"Hey, kiddo. You doing okay?"
"Yeah, I am, actually. I'm settling in."
"Good, I'm glad. I don't wanna keep you on the phone for too long, but I wanted to ask you something."
"Go ahead, Dad. Anything."
"How would you feel about surprising your Mom for her birthday?"
"What kind of surprise?"
"I know you haven't been gone all that long, and I know it's kind of last minute, but, I was thinking you could come back to... be her gift? She really misses you, you know."
"I miss her too," you say softly, trying to keep your voice even. "I'll talk to Stella, see if we can figure something out. I'd really love to see you guys."
"We'd really love to see you too, sweetheart."
"I'll call you back later, when I've organised everything. Love you, Dad. See you soon, hopefully."
"Love you, kiddo. Proud of you, you know."
"I know," you smile. "I know."
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
The journey always seems shorter when you know you're going home.
You make it back in record time, salty ocean breeze whipping through your hair as you cruise along the roads. You take a deep breath and sigh it out, relief filling your lungs. It's good to be back.
You can't let your Mom see you, so you head straight back to your apartment. Your Dad told you they're in the process of renting it out, but they haven't made much progress yet. For now, it's still yours.
You inhale the familiar scent, smiling gently. There's something so particular about the way a place smells when you feel like you belong there. It's like home and comfort and ease all rolled into one.
You unpack a little, folding your clothes and tucking them into the dresser. You told Stella you'd probably stay a few days, wanting to spend as much time with your family as possible. You're rifling through the refrigerator and thinking about a grocery list when there's a knock at your door.
You know who it is.
A feeling of relief washes over your body, tension melting from your shoulders. Your lungs fill easier, your breath falls deeper, everything is a little brighter, a little more colourful.
You open the door to be met with the sight of Bucky Barnes.
He's in work pants and a white t shirt that's stained with grease and oil, heavy boots on his feet. He must have come straight from the Garage.
He looks at you carefully, as if he isn't sure that you're real. You rake your eyes over his form, trying to drink him in. All the pictures you've taken and saved don't do him justice.
He exhales, beaming grin appearing on his face.
"You're here."
You can't help but smile back, his happiness spreading through you.
"I'm here."
Bucky rushes forward and scoops you into his arms, enveloping you completely. He wraps himself around you as he tucks you into his chest, his grip tight and unrelenting. You breathe him in, overwhelmed with emotion and sensation. You didn't realise how much you needed this. Three months is too long.
"What are you doing here?" he asks, slight shake in his voice. He's holding off tears. So are you.
"My Dad wanted me to surprise my Mom for her birthday. It's all a secret."
He smiles, before leaning down to capture your lips in a knee buckling kiss. A kiss that says I missed you. A kiss that says I need you. A kiss that says please don't leave me again.
"How did you know?" you whisper when you pull away for air.
"I felt it. I think I knew the moment you arrived back in town. Thought my mind was playing tricks on me, for a second. But there's no mistaking that feeling. I had to come and see for myself."
"We're getting pretty good at this whole soulmate thing, huh?" you laugh, unaware of the tears running down your face. "I missed you, Buck. So much."
"I missed you too," he murmurs, kissing you again. "Didn't think I was going to survive, some days."
"Me too. Do you know how many times I stood with my car keys in my hand, ready to drive back to you?"
He chuckles and then sniffles, emotion dripping down his cheeks.
"I did exactly the same thing. So many times."
You wrap your arms around his middle, reveling in the way he smells like gasoline and home.
"How long are you here for?" he murmurs, worried he'll disturb the peace.
"I'm not sure. A good few days, at least."
"Okay," he breathes. "I can do a few days. We can do a few days."
"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't know, to be honest. It was all kinda last minute."
"It's okay, pretty thing," he mutters into your hair. "It was a nice surprise."
"You're coming tonight, right? To my Mom's party?"
"Wouldn't miss it."
You stay wrapped up in each other for a little while longer, savouring his warmth. He rubs absentminded patterns across the skin of your back, committing the softness of it to his memory.
"I should probably get back to work. I took off with no warning."
"You're the boss. You're allowed," you chuckle.
He laughs with you, and the sound lights up your nerves, illuminates your bones. It settles itself in the hollows of your ribcage, tangles itself in your heartstrings. It's like medicine.
"Can't wait to see you tonight," you whisper. "Wear something cute."
"I always do," he winks, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Miss you already."
"Miss you more."
He looks at you, smiling.
"Man, we're the worst."
"Truly."
He kisses you once, twice, three times before finally leaving, reluctant to let you go. You spend the rest of the afternoon floating on air, relaxed and at ease. You haven't felt like this in a while.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
Your Dad sneaks you into the house through the side door, hiding you in the kitchen as he ushers your Mom through to the back yard.
It's decorated with floral garlands and streamers, flowers in vases covering the table he's set up. The golden, warm fairy lights illuminate the space, keeping it soft and intimate. He's been watching, carefully observing the way that she does things. He's recreated her party style perfectly.
There's a few of her closest friends waiting for her, gifts littering the spare chairs. Your Dad walks her outside, hands covering her eyes.
"Surprise!"
You watch through the door as your Mom gasps, grin on her face.
"Oh my God! You guys!"
She runs into your Dad, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I can't believe you managed to pull this off," she says in disbelief.
He sets her back down on the ground and kisses her gently.
"I got you something. I hope you like it."
That's your cue. You sneak out as quietly as possible, standing behind her.
"Happy Birthday, Mama."
She whips around to face you, shock written across her face. Her eyes well up, tears threatening to spill. Yours do the same, bottom lip quivering.
She throws her arms around you, tugging you into her.
"I'm so happy you're here, baby girl. I missed you so much."
"Missed you. You look beautiful."
"Not as beautiful as you! Look at you, all sun kissed and glowy. You look so pretty, sweetheart."
You grin at her and she does the same back, your Dad beaming at your identical smiles.
"You're the best gift I've ever received. Then and now."
You're overwhelmed, suddenly, by the realisation that no matter what happens, no matter what life throws at you, no matter how many miles are between you - your Mom will always be in your corner. Your Dad will always be in your corner. Bucky will always be in your corner.
You think, for a moment, that despite everything, you might just be okay.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
The night goes off without a hitch.
You drink, you laugh, you sing. You and your Mom dance to ABBA, Bowie, Donna Summer. Your Dad joins in, and can't help but grin every time he watches his girls together.
What a life, he thinks. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
When everyone gets a little past tipsy, your Mom changes the music to something slower, jazzier, richer. Your Dad pulls her into his chest, holding her close as they move to the melody. You're sat at the table taking off your heels when Bucky slides into the seat next to you. He pulls your foot into his lap and undoes the strap, sliding the shoe off gently. He rubs his thumb into your sole, smirking when you groan.
"Have you been avoiding me tonight, pretty baby?"
His cheeks are flushed slightly, top few buttons of his shirt open. He's been drinking a little, his walls lowered more than usual.
"I have to."
"Oh yeah?"
"I feel like I'm gonna burst into flames every time you look at me," you whisper. "I kinda want to rip your clothes off, baby."
He groans at the nickname. You know exactly what you're doing.
"It only takes one look for a minute too long to figure out how I feel about you, Buck. They'll work it all out instantly."
"Dance with me," he murmurs suddenly. "Your parents are too busy staring into each others eyes. Come on, honey. One dance."
His big blue eyes bore into yours, and you know you're fucked. You're never going to be able to say no to him.
"One dance," you whisper.
He takes your hand and leads you to the decked area, brightened by the golden lights. Bucky slides a hand over your back, resting there carefully. You intertwine your fingers with his and step into him, embracing the warmth that rolls off his body.
I'll Be Seeing You by Billie Holiday begins to play, and the two of you start to sway gently, eyes never leaving each others. Bucky pulls you in closer, and you melt into him. You don't care about the repercussions anymore.
Maybe it's the wine talking. Maybe it's something else.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
"That was close!"
Your Mom's giggling as your Dad holds her, having just saved her from tripping down the front steps. Everyone's giddy, both from drinking and from laughing.
"Sweetheart. Bucky. Come back for lunch tomorrow. Your Dad ordered too much catering, and we need help eating it."
"Mama, are you sure?"
"I want to see you as much as possible before you go, babygirl. You too, Buck. I feel like we don't see you as much as we used to."
"He'll be there," you reply before he can protest. "We'll carpool, and I'll bring a strawberry and cream tart that I made for you."
She kisses you on the cheek, your Dad leaning in to kiss the other side.
"Love you both."
"Love you," they say in unison, laughing and yelling jinx. "Get home safe, you two!"
"I'll take care of her," Bucky chuckles. "Always."
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
"Why don't you see my parents much anymore?"
You and Buck are walking home along the sandy coastal path, fingers intertwined and sides pressed together. You look up at him, frowning slightly when he hesitates.
"Don't lie to me, James. I can feel it, remember."
You place a hand on your chest to remind him, and he nods.
"It's not the same here without you."
You weren't expecting the sincerity. It knocks you off balance a little.
You stop when you reach a wooden bench, sitting down and pulling him with you.
"So you're isolating yourself from the people who love you?"
He smiles, sadness rife in his eyes. Your tough guy act is crumbling.
"Not on purpose. It just kinda happened."
"You promised you'd talk to me, Buck. Especially if it got too hard. You need to accept support from people, or everything is going to come crashing down."
"I know. I know. But every time I go to their house, I'm expecting you to be there. Every time I go to the beach, I'm expecting you to be there. Every time I walk past your building, I'm expecting you to be there, waiting for me to pick you up. Even when I'm sailing, I can't stop thinking about that day we spent on the boat."
"The other day I had to make three batches of buttercream, because I messed up the first two. I was so distracted thinking about you that I split them both."
He laughs, then, wholehearted and genuine. You can't help but join him, shaking your head at the absurdity of it all.
"Bucky, you have to promise that you'll keep going, even without me. You have to see my Mom and Dad like you used to, you have to still sail and go to the beach. You can't put your life on hold for me."
He takes a deep breath, sliding an arm around your shoulders to pull you in closer.
"Okay. I promise."
You whip your head around to look at him.
"Just like that?"
"Just like that, honey. You're right. I've been waiting for you to come back, so I can start living again. But life is still happening, whether you're here or not."
"Wise words, wise man," you smile. "Not a minute goes by where I don't think of you. You know that, don't you?"
"I know. I feel it."
You watch as he brings your linked hands to his chest, placing them there. You rest your head on his shoulder, lulled into calm by the steady melody of his heart. You swear it beats to the rhythm of your name.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
The two of you can't bear the idea of separating, so Buck comes home with you.
"Have you got a blanket?" he asks as he's kicking off his shoes.
"I have. What for?"
"The couch."
You process for a moment before it clicks.
"You're not sleeping on the couch, Buck."
"No?"
"No. I want your ridiculous, radiator-like body heat in bed with me."
He smiles, all giddy and lopsided, before striding across the room to you. Cradling your face in his rough hands, he kisses you with fervour. He's making up for lost time.
You tangle your fingers into his hair, tugging and pulling, smirking when he groans. He retaliates by grabbing your ass and picking you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He carries you through to your bedroom, lips never leaving yours.
Throwing you down onto the bed, he pulls his shirt over his head, watching you hungrily as you do the same with your dress. You're left in your underwear, leaving little to the imagination.
"You're so beautiful," he murmurs. "Makes me want to cry."
You reach for him as he settles on top of you, your hand sliding along his stubbled cheek.
"I'm so glad you're feeling what I'm feeling," you whisper. "I'd think I was going insane otherwise."
Bucky kisses you again, before trailing his lips across your jaw, your ear, your neck. He's careful not to leave any marks, as much as he wants to. You glide your hands along the expanse of his shoulders, his back, his biceps. He's so strong, so broad. It makes you ache.
"So fuckin' pretty," he mumbles against your chest. "Like a goddamn dream."
You throw your head back as he attaches his mouth to your tits, nipping and sucking as he goes. Your hands are in his hair again, reveling in the way his groans vibrate through you.
Bucky slots his knee in between your legs as he kisses across your chest, smirking when you grind your hips into it. You chase the friction as best you can, moaning when it hits you just right.
"Needy baby. You don't want my fingers? My mouth? No? Just my knee?"
You nod, then shake your head. You're not sure what you're asking for, drunk on him already.
"Please, Buck. Anything."
"I'll give you whatever you want if you keep saying my name like that."
He makes quick work of pulling your underwear down your legs, swiping his fingers through your wet heat.
"Oh, fuck," he chokes. "Fuck, honey. Is this all for me? Hmm?"
"Yes, yes, yes."
"Yeah?"
"It's yours, Buck. I'm yours."
Bucky drops his head forward, bumping your nose with his.
"I think that's my favourite thing you've ever said," he mumbles against your mouth.
You reach up to kiss him, sucking his tongue before biting at his lips. You can't get close enough. Every inch of your skin is pressed to his, and you still want more.
Bucky crawls down the bed, situating himself between your legs. He nudges at you with his nose before diving in, lapping at you like a man starved.
You'd forgotten what people said about sex when you're Tethered, but it all comes back to you now. Everything is heightened, your senses on overdrive. It's like Bucky has the handbook to your body, and all he has to do is read the instructions the Universe has given him.
He's got you teetering on the edge in no time, right on the precipice. No ones ever made you feel like this. It feels like some sort of small miracle is happening, an otherworldly connection.
"Give it to me, honey baby," he murmurs into you. "Let me see how pretty you look when you come."
You tug at his hair as you reach your climax, the vibrations of his groan only prolonging your release. Bucky helps you ride it out, only ceasing his action when he's satisfied you're satisfied.
He rests his head against your thigh and looks up at you as you come down, breathing heavily.
"You good?"
"So good," you grin. "Never better."
"Me neither," he whispers, crawling up your body to kiss you again. You taste yourself and whine, desperate to feel closer to him.
"Need you," you demand against his lips. "Need you more than anything."
"I know, baby," he soothes as he smooths the hair back from your face. "Gonna give you everything you want. Anything in the world."
You're on the verge of tears again, completely overwhelmed. He's looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky just for him. You think maybe you would, if he asked you to.
Bucky slides home in one gentle thrust, easy as breathing. The both of you exhale, savouring the moment. It's like nothing either of you have ever felt before.
You pull his face down to you, resting your foreheads against each other.
"Buck, I-"
"I know," he breathes. "Fuck, I know."
"Need you to move, baby."
He nods and kisses you sweetly, before pulling his hips back and gliding forward. The angle is just right, both of you keening.
"Fuck, honey. So pretty. So tight. Fuck."
Bucky sets a steady rhythm, not too fast, not too slow. It's like he can read your mind, knowing exactly what you need. All you can say is his name as stars cloud your vision.
He slides his hand down your front, rubbing perfect circles on your clit with his fingers. You clamp down on him and he groans, low and gutteral.
"Need you to come, pretty baby," he whispers hoarsely. "Please. Waited so long for this. Please."
The desperation in his tone is what throws you into your release, muscles tensing and back arched. You grip his biceps, scratching your nails into his sun kissed skin.
Bucky can't hold on any longer, falling over the edge with you. The way he says your name as he does will be ingrained in your mind forever.
He drops his weight onto you entirely, no longer able to hold himself up. You wrap your arms around him, drawing absent minded patterns across his back. You're both sweating and panting. You're both completely content.
"Holy shit," he whispers after a while.
"You think it's gonna be like that every time?" you ask, grinning.
Bucky rolls off you and lands on the bed beside you, pulling you into his chest.
"Honey, just you wait. I've got moves you've never seen."
You snort, unable to hold in your laughter. You're floating on cloud nine, satiated and warm.
"You're the worst," you giggle, running your fingers over his abs gently.
The two of you stay intertwined for hours, enjoying the way your bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. You both drift in and out of sleep, conversing in the gaps. At some points, you just lay in silence, completely comfortable. No one needs to say anything. You both know what the other person is thinking.
Eventually, the sun rises, casting the room in a golden orange glow. Bucky looks like an angel, illuminated by the morning light. You wonder for a second if he is, sent down as a gift to you.
Suddenly, you feel an intense sadness in your chest. You look up at Bucky from where you lay across him, and see a single tear drip down his cheek.
"I don't want you to go."
The only sound that can be heard is his sorrow hitting the pillow.
"I don't think I want to go."
He strokes your hair softly, taking a deep breath to try and get a handle on his emotions.
"You have to, baby. It's your dream."
Your bottom lip wobbles for a second, before the words come spilling out.
"You're my dream."
Bucky sniffles, and you continue.
"I could have nothing, but I have everything if I have you."
You sit up and Bucky does too, capturing your lips in a tear stained kiss.
"We'll be okay, my honey girl."
You crawl into his lap and wrap your arms around his neck, letting his warmth bleed into your bones.
"I know," you say, unsure if you're trying to convince yourself or him.
You know you'll be okay. It just doesn't feel like it right now.
You wonder how many times you can keep leaving and coming back before one of your hearts breaks for good.
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tag list part one
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venmondiese · 24 days
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Anxiety Relieving Purposes
✧ part 1: stress relieving purposes ✧
Summary: Exam week has arrived so you have a another brilliant idea for you and Aemond. Seeing him full of dread and anxiety, you think of the best way of calming him.
✧Pairing: Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader ✧Warnings: MDNI 18+, p in v sex, free use, public sex, oral sex (m receiving), no protection, creampie, slight breeding kink, slight (not so slight) size kink, fingering, aemond being a tease. ✧Word Count: 6.7k ✧Note: so..... aemond's exam is fully here!! and all the things he studied are things that I AM studying at the moment so yeah #studying and writing. I have weeks FULL of things, and may seems (at the moment) very empty, so I will try to work on my wips there!!
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The day of the famous exam, Aemond was outside the classroom, as he waited for his name to be called. His turn was near at 16:15 pm, so he came with anticipation, as the professor asked for them to wait in case a space was available for whatever reason. 
14:01, his expensive watch said. It was his grandfather’s, and he asked his father to give it to him, ignoring the fact that he conveniently asked when his father was high on medications, but that was another thing. He even wore that seven pointed star necklace his mum gave to him, so the Gods may be with him. 
This class was brutal, and he knew it. He knew very well when he enrolled with this particular professor. It was hard, but you learnt everything. And he, the pretentious ambitious little shit that he was, did it willingly. 
He should have listened to you. Your exam? To start, it wasn’t even oral like this one, and you could take your notes to the exams, because it was mostly rational and analytical thinking. Have you learned much? No, but you were passing.
And it wasn’t like he got bad grades, in fact he was one of the brilliant few people in the class. The thing is that this particular exam was valued at 40% whereas the rest of papers and exams were barely over 15%. If someone failed this one it was the end. 
He took a drag of his cigarette, leaning over the open window of the hallway, so the smell of cigarette wasn’t so evident. He wanted to do this oral exam as quickly as possible, so he was waiting like a vulture around the classroom.
When a single hand covers his only functioning eye, he sighs as he smokes, rolling his eye under your hand.
“Guess who!” It is your animated voice, and even without saying anything, he’d know it was you.
“You little shit” He says, taking your hand off. “You really just covered one of my eyes?”
As he turns, he sees you holding a bucket of fried chicken, and he has to smirk. 
“Well, I had to hold your lunch with the other hand, duh.” You say smugly, almost proud of this little surprise for him. “You know that five cigarettes do not count as lunch?”
“It does when you are anxious. And about to throw up” He adds, as he looks a bit at the closed door of the auditory, and he sighs. 
Your smug smile softens, and you leave the bucket of food on the near table, and you wrap your arms around him, as he decides to kill his cigarette on the ashtray, to wrap his arms around you as well.
“You’ll do fine” You whisper, assuring him of it. “And the professor will be so surprised that he’ll stand up and do a public ovation for you” You add teasingly. 
“That’s so…” He says giggling at the idea, his tight stomach feels more at ease at your silly jokes. “Stupid”
“It is in the future.” You say, convinced “And he’ll immediately give you a doctorate, and then you’ll work and maintain me, of course.” 
He chuckles amused, rubbing you back as he looks where your chin rests against his chest, looking up to him. “And I’ll do that willingly? Oh gods, maybe I’ll fail the exam, then”
You laugh as you hit the side of his left rib, and he tightens his embrace slightly.
“I’ll pay you well” You say nodding.
“How so?”
“I’ll clean the house, and I’ll be your pretty maid which from occasion to occasion sucks your dick”
“I think I'll be better if you become my personal sex slave” he whispers with a smug smirk, and he feels your hand slapping the side of his rib again. “Because you are already my slut, no?”
“Imbecile. And look at me, buying you lunch. Fried chicken, the spicy one that you like.” You add the last thing, separating from his hug as you cross your arms. “Men are disgusting, they want only one thing” You dramatise as he laughs at your words.
“Fine, fine… we’ll eat the fried chicken. You’ll feed me yourself?”
“You are insane if you think…” Your voice trails off as you see how his smile fades and he tilts his head to watch the students leaving the auditory.
You turn to watch the scene, a girl clearly crying as she makes her way to the bathroom. Baela comes out of the classroom, slightly defeated, with another student. One of the assistants of the professor closes the door, so they discuss the answers immediately. 
Aemond walks hushedly next to Baela, as you grab the bucket to follow him. You can see how his body is tense, walking hushedly and full of anxiety.
“How did it go?” Aemond joins the conversation as Baela is the first of the group to get out, and you see Cregan and Jace get close too, along with other fellow students.
“It fucked me” Baela admits shaking her head.
You can feel the anxiety along the group, and you stand next to Aemond, looking at him as he places a hand on his mouth as if to think what the hell and how the fuck he will get over this.
“What did they ask you?” You dare to ask.
“ How biopower by Foucault could relationate with Deleuze and Guattari’s… notion of desiring-production, how the concepts contribute to the understanding of modern forms of governance and subjectivity as seen in class.” She says and everyone looked extremely horrified by the question itself. 
“Holy fuck” Jace mutters.
“And Moeria? What about her? She left crying..” Cregan says as he looks at Baela.
 “ How Foucault’s disciplinary power intersects with Judith Butler’s performativity? With examples from each perspective and respective works… and how they work together, something like that”
“That was easy!” Aemond says, frustrated, because he wasn’t the one to get that question. You see how his own hand starts picking on his cuticles, and breaking his nails in anxiousness.
“Fucking Foucault…” Jace murmurs as he sighs horrified. 
You can see how Aemond’s hand trembled slightly, he was as well horrified. He’d told you, there were only 40 questions, randomly selected. He had to study hard, read like five books just to get asked one question. And when the easiest left, only the hard ones left for the ones at the very end.
“Let’s eat” You say, taking his hand, and he looks at you, with uncertainty in his eyes, as he nods slightly. He was anxious, you could see. “Destroying your hands won’t leave you at ease… Food might” You add with a gentle smile.
He nodded, sighing as he was tired. You exchanged slight awkward looks with Cregan as he waved his hand to you and you smiled politely, before walking away with Aemond. 
“I could have answered that one…” He whines as you two walk downstairs to eat. “It was far too easy. You wanna know why?”
“Why?” You ask just to leave him let all out. 
“If you add Foucault's insights into disciplinary power with Butler's theory of performativity, you get this more… full understanding of how social control operates through the regulation of bodies and identities! Together you can see the…the complex interplay that there is always is between power, discourse, and subjectivity in… shaping the understanding of self and society.” He says frustrated, as he follows you.
“Well, do not worry. Maybe you’ll get Foucault as you so adore him.”
“I swear that if someone else gets something about the panopticon… I will kill myself” 
“You won’t kill yourself over that”
“I’ll get the easiest top mark ever” He says very seriously about it. “It’s so easy I learned it when I was like two years old”
“You are over exaggerating, Aemond” You say as you both walk to the outside of the building, as you find a bench for you two to sit. “Relax”
“It is not in my nature”
“Believe me when I say that I know that” You say as you pat your side for him to sit. “That’s why I brought the best fried chicken ever.” As you open the bucket, he leans slightly as he puts some alcohol gel on his hands, ready to eat. He was starving, between the ball of anxiousness stuck on his stomach. “It is not as warm, but…”
“It could be cold, but I’d love it anyway because you brought them for me.” He says looking at you “You don’t even have classes today”
“No, I do not. That’s the thing when you are just the best student in class, you tend to approve earlier than the rest…”
“Oh, shush” He says as he grabs one and he makes a delighted moan as he eats it. “It’s so good. I needed this”
“The food or me?”
He rolls his eye, but lowkey, he knows that the answer is you. 
You two enjoy the food together, as you try to lighten up his mood. He is still very tense, his shoulders do not seem slightly as ease, and he was still trying to destroy his cuticles.
You look at his face. He looks slightly off. Aemond, who was very much perfectionist on his appearance, seems not to have cared enough these days. It felt like that, you knew. Studying hard so that you pass the appropriate time to bath, eat or sleep. 
The thing with Aemond is that he is utterly obsessive. A perfectionist at heart, and he likes things to do as he planned. Gives him security and confidence, and he always gave his whole soul to something so important for him. You sigh with a smile, as you feel bad for him as he seems so unease.
You lean to kiss his cheek, and he turns his head to look at you, getting out of his dissociated state. “Huh?”
Your eyebrows go up as if to ask him what he meant, as you smile. 
“What was that for?”
“I think you needed it” You say as he rolls his eye amused, leaving the empty bucket away. He looks at you, the university mostly empty, since most of the people already passed their classes and did not attend further, like you. He surely was lucky to have you, if it weren’t for you he’d surely still miss Alys. He does miss her sometimes, but after a long talk with you, he realises that she is not that worth it. But feelings don’t go away that easily, but it is clearly not love 
“Huh. What I need is a divine illumination right now” He says looking at his clock. 14:37.
“You need to calm your anxiety” You state, taking his hand on yours, and smiling at him. “Look at me.” He sighs, rolling his eyes, but he turns his body a bit to face you properly. “You know this. You read the whole books, and you knew all of it. You will nail this. There is no one here who knows the answer as you do.”
“You are far too kind” He says, his lips slightly curving. “And too good for my ego” he adds.
“Idiot. You see, you’ll end up like the assistants of the professor.”
“ I wish” he says dramatically. “The blonde one passed the exam with a hundred. Maybe she was asked about the panopticon. I swear it is so easy, I made an essay about 1984 and the whole theory of it.” he murmurs, still grumpy as he crosses his arms. “You know, there is a theory that she fucked the professor for it.”
You love good gossip, and you raise your eyebrows as your smirk is very much amused.
“Oh, is that so?”
“I mean, probably comes from envy and misogyny” he adds, rolling his eyes. “But If you get asked the easiest question…”
“Maybe you should fuck the professor as well.” you tease as he laughs a bit, less tense as his whole body moves at the amusement. 
You look at him for a brief moment, as the thought lingers in your mind for a moment. You look at him, and a very bad idea forms in your mind. Bad, but… fruitful.
You look at him, he was still tense, but less than before. His right left bounced slightly, and you looked at how huge his thigh looked against yours, even sitting on the same bench. 
You knew Aemond went to the gym almost daily, and he was very much into it, it was just his (other) way to relieve stress. He always talked about it, and you remember the occasion at Jacaerys’ sevenmas party when he and Jason Lannister had the brilliant idea to compete about who could do more pull ups without dying.
You have to press your thighs together at the memory of it. He was sweaty, and you remembered him gruting, and exhaling profoundly as he kept going. Because if Aemond was one thing, it was competitive. 
And he was more than willing to keep going with anyone who dared to challenge him. He went round after round, and you were like his personal spotter as he tried to win everyone. Sure, after going on several rounds with different people he had to back away.
You remember you and him laying on the couch as he expressed his body and arms burning from the sting. Back then, it wasn’t as arousing as it is now.
“I have just the right idea to help you” you say looking at him, as you already feel aroused. God, he was unaware of the lustful feelings he provoked in you.
“Oh gods.” Aemond says, turning to look at you. “How long will this bad idea take? I have like hour and a half”
 “It depends. Not much, I think. Well, this time, at least” You say with a giggle, and he looks at you puzzled. And you lean slightly closer. “I think you’ll like it”
Aemond blinks, as he is not sure what this idea entails.
“you have such bad ideas” he groans and you slap his arm as you chuckle.
“Hey! I have great ideas” 
“The last idea you had to help me was… were two actually. The first one being setting me up with Floris Baratheon and you with Cregan to use sex to destress”
“And? Did it go wrong??” You say.
“Your idea, yes. My idea, no. Which I remind you, was us sleeping together. Because it was my idea and I want the credit” he says smirking smugly. 
“But it was thanks to my idea”
“And the second one” he ignores your weak attempt to recover credit. “Were you cockwarming me as I read Foucault” he states amused. 
“Foucault would have loved that idea.” You say crossing your arms.
“it was a bad idea, admit it” he says amused looking at you. 
“Oh, so you aren’t in for cockwarming?” 
“No, I didn't say that” he says amused at how you turn the table on him. “I meant studying while you look so delightful, and your pussy warms my cock” he whispers slowly to you with a smirk “and you expect me to be okay with that and just read Foucault?” 
“Okay. But this one is good” you say smiling “Hear me out” 
Aemond rolls his eyes amused, but he sits back as he hears you, with an endearing smile as he does so. 
“You and I could… you know, we could relieve stress again” 
Aemond blinks slightly put off, and he looks at you.
“Like right now?”
“When else you’d be this stressed?” You ask as if he was stupid.
“Well, apologies for being rational and full of moments of stress” Aemond says “Besides, there are no places…”
“The bathroom, an empty class-”
“No places” He insists again, as if turning away your proposal. “And they’ll kick us out. And reading those books will be worthless.”
“They practically sucked your family dick for you to get in, Aemond. They won’t kick you out. Aegon probably did it…”
“Don’t compare us to Aegon-” 
“And he is still here, after changing like three times his career and failing all the classes.” you add nodding.
“I am not the one who won’t enter anywhere else”
“HEY!” you say slapping his arm as he laughs, and he passes an arm in your waist to scoop you closer as you cross your arms and look away in pride. “and the fool just wants to help you”
Aemond chuckles, as his face kisses your cheek, but you still look away, stubbornly. 
“I am joking, love” Aemond says softly, and he leans to kiss you neck softly. “We could do that”
“No, now I don’t want to” 
“You are being a brat…” he says mockingly, still smiling, and his arm around you keeps you pressed against him, as his hand rubs slightly your waist. “Come on. Don’t you wanna help me destress? Don’t you want my cock in your pretty pussy?” He whispers in your ear, placing his left hand on your thigh.
Sincerely, fuck him, because you immediately turn to look at him, and he knows how to push your buttons. He looks at you with the corners of his lips slightly turned up, as he nods softly. 
He is a little shit, persuading you to follow him to the bathroom. It was merely an idea, you knew he’d make fun from it, but not after that, he would take it to heart. 
You walk across the campus, almost empty from people that simply finished their courses or they were in class right now. And he holds your hand firmly as you head to the bathroom.
On campus, there were multiple bathrooms, but only one gender neutral bathroom. You two used to joke that this is were one came to fuck or get high. And no one really used them, as weird as it was. They weren’t always functional, and the doors tend to get stuck. But the mayor plus, is that they weren’t really dirty, nor people would come in.
Aemond leaves his backpack on the hanger inside the cubicle and you frown slightly. He didn’t bring his usual leather bag, and you point it out.
“I will go to the gym after this. I have my towel and my clothes” He explains softly, closing the door behind you and you hand your little purse too. It wasn’t small, but it wasn’t as luxurious to have a bed.
“Okay. How do we…” you move your hands trying to see how the fuck you’ll do it. “I mean, I didn’t think how…”
“I don’t think anyone thinks before having sex, darling.” He says looking at the clean bathroom, it was better than anything. The floor was clean, and Aemond could see their reflections on the black shiny tiles. “Hm.” Aemond says, looking at you. “I have a few ideas…”
“You are still tense” you say looking at how his shoulder tense up. You move your hands to caress his shoulders, and look at him “Don’t be”
“It’s like telling a sad person just not to be”
You roll your eyes, and shake your head with annoyance. “Shut up.” 
You two remain silent, as if thinking how. You had a toilet, a sink and lots of hope. 
“It feels like… too dirty” you look up to him.
“Yes.” He agrees, as you two look at eachother. “We certainly don’t have to. I’ll be fine, you know. I appreciate…”
“No” you cut him immediately. “I’ll do it.” You insist, shaking your head at his proposals. “You look… honestly, terrible”
“Ah, thanks for the support” he says rolling his eyes as he crosses his arms. 
“It’s hot” you insist, as you grab his forehand to uncross his arms. You move his arms to place them around your waist, as you walk closer to him, looking up to him. “Seeing you all stressed and tense…” 
Aemond arches his left eyebrow, as his hand finds its way to your waist, holding you. He had no idea how you could lust him as you spoke how emaciated he was, but it was working.  
He smelled like coffee and cigarettes, and you smiled at him. Your hands caressed his chest, his pectorals were something else, as he looked at you, intrigued.
“I have to do something about it” you insist, looking up to him, your hands caressing his abdomen softly. “So… tell me what to do”
Aemond looks at you. His cock was already stirring, he could feel how he was growing on his pants, hard and needy. It is a slow torture, to be sure.
“Surprise me..” he says without really thinking. 
“No..” you shake your head. “You are very stressed, and it is a very important moment for you. You need to… relieve that stress. And I… allow you to use my body how you see fit. However you see fit. ” 
Aemond blinks, a bit baffled by such a proposal. Sure, the bathrooms weren't the ideal place for this, but his cock didn't think the same now, not when you were willing to please his tastes completely, and let him use your body to his liking. 
You move your hands to unbelt his pants, slowly as his hand loosen its grip on your waist, and look at your face as you seem so eager to see once again his cock.  
“Are you hard?” You ask softly, a rhetorical question as you feel his cock against his underwear, and you look up to him as you palm him a bit.
“Yeah” he murmurs, his voice like a grunt. 
“Want me to suck your dick?” 
Aemond takes a deep breath, as the corners of his mouth seem to go slightly up. He is getting annoyed at your teasing, but not the bad type of annoyed. The type of annoyed when you “behave like a brat” as he puts it, and he enjoys keeping you in line.
Whenever you insist on skipping class, he has to keep a close eye on you. If you insist on trying to get with someone which is no good for you, he has to keep you by his side. When you want to do something reckless, he stops you, a hand steady on your waist. 
“You know the answer” he says softly.
“Yes” your smile is cheeky as you move your shoulders “so?” 
Aemond sighs, his hands rubbing your arms and shoulder. “Yes. I want you to suck my dick” he says simply, and you smile a bit. “But I am sure you want to have my cock as well. Badly” he adds. 
You smile at him, and nod, feigning innocence.
“Then kneel”
“Floor is dirty” you remind him with a smirk. “Not the best-”
“Kneel on my feet.” he does not hesitate. “Won’t be dirty at all. You like being at my feet, don’t you?”
Your cheeks slightly burn from the remark. You look at him, and he looks nothing but smug.  You sometimes really hate him.
His boots are perfectly clean, you can picture him cleaning every little detail of his outfit so he looks presentable and even more perfect for his exam. It is both endearing and hot.
Your knees go to rest on his shoes. A bit uncomfortable, a bit too close. Forced proximity to his crotch, as he pulled his boxers down. 
You look up to him as your mouth salivates at the sight, his cock fat, big and swollen, getting harder by the second. It hits his own abdomen, tall and proud. 
You accommodate a bit your knees on his shoes, making sure it doesn’t hurt him for you to place your weight on his feet. Yet he doesn’t seem even fazed by that.
“Go on” he murmurs, moving some hairs out of your face, as he leans for his back to rest against the cold ceramic wall. He looks at you, his arousal growing as you press your lips to the base of his cock to kiss it, and you basically are taking your time for it, his face pressed against his cock as you leave little kisses on his base, going all up to his tip.
The weight of your knees on his feet is slightly uncomfortable, but he is too aroused, that it only fuels his lust for you. 
“We don’t have all the time” he murmurs, taking your hair to guide you.
“You don’t rush art-”
“Come on” he grunts as his fist is more tight to your hair. “You said I could use you as I wish. So shut up and take it” 
God damn you if it didn’t turn you on.
His grip on your hair was firm, as his other hand went to rest at the top of your neck, holding your jaw. You are forced to have his dick on your mouth and the plus was that you could see his face perfectly.
At first, he lets you accommodate his cock on your mouth. He holds you, as if guiding you to it. You don’t have to do anything but be pretty, and open your mouth. And of course, taking his massive cock on your throat. 
You look at him with glossy eyes as he has his way in your throat, gently, holding you softly and soothing you, making you more receptive to all. 
“Shhhh, there, you are doing so good” His soothing voice comes in a low voice, as he has that pleased expression on his face, biting his lower lip as you swallow more and more of his cock. “So pretty”
It comes as a praise, as his hand gently caresses softly your throat as you take him well , making you maintain your head tilted up so his cock can slide perfectly down your throat, little by little, forcing you to keep it wide and open all for him.  
He lets a low groan, his grip hesitates, between becoming more firm or looser. He guides your  movements as you take him deeper. His cheeks are slightly red, his own mouth is open, panting to suppress the moans and grunts; his brows furrowed in pleasure as his eye is transfixed by the sight of you; his cock disappearing into your mouth, your lips wrapping around his mouth. 
“Fuck…” He barely can form the sentence, more like a pant, and he still tries to be quiet, his hips start thrusting in your mouth, keeping your head still for him to use however he pleases. However he wants. Utterly at his mercy.
Once his cock hits the back of your throat, he starts bucking his hips up roughly. He holds your head, a tight and firm grip as he pumps his dick in and out. 
“So hot” He breathes out, “Taking my dick like this” He says, as if the mere thought aroused him more. 
You gurgle on his cock, the head of it hitting your throat, and you try to remain quiet. The gagging sounds are nothing but obscene, and they resonate in the bathroom halls. 
You look up to him, and you let him use you. Even if you can’t breathe, even if your throat will be sore- gods, even if they catch you. Why? Easy.
Aemond seems more relaxed. He seems at ease, as his chest rises and falls as he pants, his face in a contorned expression full of pleasure, as his hand presses against your throat; the other still on your hair. He grips slightly your throat and can even feel the small bulge his cock makes on its way down. 
And you���d give anything to always see him this at ease. He is not relaxed; by nature. He tends to obsess, he tends to think and rethink things. He is hardly a person who goes by hedonistic ways, that enjoys leisure. 
But this? You might always be on your knees, fully open and available for him. And you have the faintest impression that you both know it. 
“Fuck” He pants again, trying to keep his voice no louder than a mer murmur. “You feel me here? I’m all the way down, baby” He says, his hand gripping at the end of your jaw and beginning of your throat. He stops his thrust, and you swallow a bit, squeezing him. He moans, shamelessly. 
You look up to him, and nod softly; as you can do so. He smirks and nods, his lips open as the hand on your hair moves to move some hairs out of your forehead.
“It does… It does help” He says, grinning a bit, out of breath. “I don’t want to… cum, but neither to pull away.”
Your hands move to his thighs, and you look up to him. He loves the sight of you. You begged for him to use you, and that thought drives him feral insane. 
“I’ll fuck you” He says as he pulls out, and he leans to take you by your armpits to keep you on foot. He moves your long skirt all the way up, and his smirk lets you know that he has no plans of stopping. 
“Yeah, yeah” You say without breath.
“I was not asking” he says as he grabs you, and he presses your back against the door, moving his hips closer, so you don’t have another option but to wrap your legs around his waist.
As his hands move to try to move your panties to the side, you look at him, and almost in a moment of clarity you murmur. 
“Against the door is a bad idea, it will creak” You complain, but Aemond roll his eye at annoyance.
“Shut up” he murmurs “You say that I could use you, so you don’t get a say in this. If I want to fuck you like this, you’ll take it”
You blink, and he looks up to face you. He is so enjoying this, his grin is smug, and his eyebrows are slightly frowning as if asking you to defy him.
“Yes, sir” You murmur, slightly playfully, and slightly not playfully.
He hums, and nods. He is pleased with your answer. 
“Soaked wet” he smirks as his fingers trace your panties. “It could be freezing cold, and you’ll still use these damn skirts, hm?”
“Always in hopes you’ll bend me over” You say softly, and he chuckles a bit. He moves to kiss your lips, as his fingers move your panties to the side, and moves his fingers slowly inside. 
His scent is driving you more feral, cigarettes and coffee, he is pested on it. Maybe he had like three coffees to keep himself up, and cigarettes to calm himself down. His perfume is strong, and you knew he liked to have those masculine scents, but the ones who smelt good, and you loved his perfume. 
He pushes his fingers in and out, and you gasp on his mouth, your hips trying to move as he keeps you pressed against the door. It is utterly naughty, you know it.
“You ruined me” he murmurs against your neck, placing kisses there. “When I’ll be answering that question, that I studied so hard for… I’ll be imagining you sucking my dick.”
You whimper slightly, feeling full of him. Being full of him, of his fingers. He fucks you, preparing you for his cock.
“I missed this pretty pussy, this tiny hole of yours.” He says, his other hand wrapping around your waist to keep you still, and helping you not fall. “So wet for me. Are you always wet when you are around me? Wearing your most provocative outfits for me?”
“Yes” You admit as you blush a bit. He reads you like an open book.
“Fool of me to ask that. In my eyes, all your outfits are provocative. All your outfits make me wanna stuff you on my cock, and have you crying of pleasure” He murmurs against your neck, and he decides that a hickey will decorate your neck just fine. 
You whimper, squeezing his fingers as his hot mouth sucks against the skin of your neck, and you squirm slightly on his arms. You drive him insane, and after a while he is satisfied, moving away to inspect his art.
“I’m gonna fuck you so hard” He says, breathless as his thumb move over then hickey. 
His promises are never empty, as you feel his cock entering your cunt in a swift motion. It is not your first time taking him, but every time feels better than the last. 
You squirm trying to get in a better position against the door, but he keeps you still in the position he wants. You wrap an arm around his neck for better stability, as his hips start to buck against you, using his grip on your waist to move you up and down on his cock. 
Gods, he is so strong, you know it. He is holding all your weight as he fucks you, each thrust, your back hits the door, making it creak and grate, every thrust hitting it softly. It is so obscene, yet it arouses you more. His strong arms around you, his muscles against your body. It arouses you more than it should, feeling your body against his firm chest, as he fucks you.
His head moves back to your neck, to the other side, barely over your clavicle to make another hickey. He is full hands-on, hitting your ass softly as he uses you, as his cock pounds your cunt over and over. 
“You like when I use you? When I fuck you how I want?” 
“Yeah, yeah, I love it…” You whimper as you feel the little kiss he leaves over your hickey. 
“You love it, I know, baby” He says, his other arm going to your waist, now wrapped up and holding you close against his chest, moving you up and down on his cock.
You mewl at the change of position, you don’t care how much your shoulders accidentally hit the door, you just want for him to…
It hits you like a cold bucket of water.
“We are not using a condom” you murmur, and his thrusts stop a bit, his head looking up to face you. He didn’t realise the fact either.
You two blink at each other, and he waits for you to continue. 
“You should cum inside and we’ll try our luck” you say softly, and his hands grip on your waist tighter.
“Fuck yes…” He breathes out, the thought drives insane, and by how he is fucking you harder, you know it.
You lean softly, your breasts against his neck as you lean your head closer to his ear. “You’ll give that exam while I am leaking your cum” 
Up and down, he moves you, the filthy sound of your ass against his flesh, and he moans, more desperate to cum. Your cunt squeezes a bit, his cock is sliding against your walls in a delicious way, and you are becoming too overwhelmed by the size of him too, how the head manages to grind your sweet spot and how he is grunting against your ear.
His thumb rubs back and forth against your clit. Your jaw drops, as you feel yourself cumming from how much he is doing to you, how he magically knows all secrets to make you melt on his cock. It is almost as magical as you know his secrets too.
You milking his cock has to be one of his favourite newfound discoveries. Maybe his new favourite hobby. Your cunt squeezing his cock, as if making sure his balls go empty, releasing himself in you with such determination, that maybe it’ll get you pregnant. And that thought, to his horny head, does not bother him. 
He holds you still, impaled on his cock as he cums inside you, nuzzling his head on the curve of your neck to drunk himself on your scent. It calms him, to be sure. And he loves it. Familiar, sweet and cosy. As if it was home for him.
You two share lazy kisses, as he has no problem holding you still. You smile, your hands resting against his strong shoulders, and he eventually pulls out and leaves you safely on your foot again. 
“I have another idea” You say smiling to him.
“Gotta give it to you, this idea wasn’t bad. So I am hearing you out” He says as he takes a small towel from his bag, wiping some of the sweat on his neck and you smirk mischievously.
Your hand goes to your panties, taking them out and presenting them to him. They are still soaked wet, and you smile proudly at your idea.
“What?” He asks frowning, but slightly amused.
“Like a lucky charm” 
He looks at you in disbelief before he starts laughing a bit. 
“What?” It is your turn to ask him.
“That is such a… silly idea” 
“Think about it! You can keep it with you when you answer the questions.”
“Darling, that is… Your bad ideas made a comeback, eh?” He teases you, saving the towel on his bag and you take the opportunity to hit his chest again.
“Fine.” You say “Don’t take them”
“I didn’t say I was not gonna take them as my lucky charm. I just said it was silly” he says, taking your panties from your hands, and putting them in his pocket. 
“Pervert” you murmur amused, turning around to unlock the door of the bathroom, which he totally uses to slap your ass, in which you whine “Aemond!”
You two get out as quickly as you can, no one seems at sight. You look at yourself in the mirror and scrunch your face at seeing your state.
“Look at what you-” you start but you both turn to look at the person who just walked in.
As they move to take some of the toilet paper, with a stuffy nose, Aemond moves closer to you, clearing his throat a bit awkwardly as you feel them side-eye you both. No words were spoken, but it was awkward. 
Once they go away, you and Aemond share a look.
“Pff, that was close” You try to break the tension.
“It wasn’t close. You look absolutely fucked.” His hand moves to comb your hair, as some crazy locks were out of place. He? Looked divine and perfect as always. “And the hickeys don’t help your case”
“How am I supposed to go out with those things in my neck? Gods” you say, a hand rubbing the hickey as if they would disappear with that. “And I have to buy the pill-”
“Yeah” he says, pressing his lips together as he tries to suppress a smile. “Well, to be fair it was your idea.”
“I totally forced you to it” You roll your eyes as you two walk out of the bathroom and back to the waiting hall.
“Hm” He says amused. “I am innocent”
You both wait seated, with other of his classmates around. He does not engage, he is obviously tense and anxious, but at the same time, it is not eating him alive as before. 
You feel proud of that. He was an anxious mess, and thanks to you he was well fed and got to release all his worries on you, and your cunt. And for that, you smile. 
You can see Cregan wandering around with Jace, and you don’t care about him anymore. Sure, he was still hot as hell, but with Aemond near, you just lean your head on his shoulder and he rubs his nervous hand on your waist.
“Aemond Targaryen” His name is called out, and you stand along with him, taking his hand along yours. 
Before he goes in, with his other two classmates, you stop him, to kiss him sweetly. Your hands cup his face, and you have to be on your tiptoes to reach his lips properly. 
“They’ll ask you about Foucault” You murmur on his lips, as he looks at you, nervous but dumbfounded. “And you’ll nail this” 
That reassurance makes him smile, leaving a small peck on your lips before going in. Being asked about the Panopticon, being the top of his class and being assistant seem second hand worries as he knows that you’ll be waiting for him once he comes out from the exam. You’ll always be his lucky charm. 
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myfictionaldreams · 8 months
Text
Day 11: Exhibitionism/Voyeurism - Winter Soldier
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Summary: Home alone, you think it's safe to have some 'special time', but unbeknown to you, he's there, always watching and admiring.
Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, dubious content, stalker!winter soldier, masturbation, sex toys, loneliness, exhibitionism, voyeurism
masterlist 📚 
kinktober masterlist😈 
AO3 Link 
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Being the adoptive daughter of the infamous Alexander Pierce wasn’t always as exciting and full of potential danger as you’d expect. For the most part, you are confined to your heavily guarded home 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Despite being an adult and wanting to live your own life, your father deemed it too dangerous that you could be captured and used for ransom.
Throughout your life, you’d never even seen one second of action or risk, and some would say that just means your father has protected you to the best of his abilities. There is a point, however, where you need something exciting in your life even though there are only limited ways to get any thrill.
This usually occurred when you were home alone, like tonight. Bored out of your mind whilst watching the TV attached to the wall in the living room, your dad walked past, clicking a button on his phone before tying his show lace. Glancing at the time on your phone, you assumed he was going to work, considering it was so late; you knew better than to ask him what was wrong to demand his time.
Walking over, your dad briefly paused to lean down and kiss your forehead, pretending he cared, but there was nothing Alexander Pierce truly loved more than Hydra. He didn’t even need to say that he was leaving as your dad prepared to leave, assuming you had caught on to his gathering of stuff that he would be going, but before he could step out of the door, you shouted in his direction, “Am I expecting company tonight?”
Your Dad knew who you were referring to. The Winter Soldier. The assassin whom you’d met on numerous occasions tended to turn up unannounced to your home in search of your father to debrief or receive new orders, so you made sure to ask regarding his whereabouts so that you could be prepared for a midnight visit.
“No, he’s a couple of states away on a mission and not due to be back for another few days. I’ll lock up on my way out; don’t wait up for me”. Without another look or even an ‘I love you’, Alexander Pierce left out of the front door, and the sound of the shutters around the windows started to descend, and the thick locks on all doors clicked into place.
You were locked in, and as soon as the metal stopped creaking and you knew your dad’s car had driven off, you sighed in sweet relief at finally being home alone. It was almost like an automatic reaction for your body to become horny as soon as you were locked in, knowing that no one would interrupt and you had free reign to do whatever you pleased, which would always be masturbation.
Turning up the TV loud so you could hear it from your bedroom and not feel as alone, you changed your clothing to just an oversized shirt and nothing more, selecting which vibrator you wanted from the box beneath your bed. Today was going to be the purple bullet vibrator and then returned to the living room.
This was one of the only places where you could feel any sort of rebellion or thrill. Yes, you could and do masturbate in your bedroom just like anyone else would, but being able to do it in technically a public space gave you little bursts of adrenaline. If your father returned home, you’d be able to hear the security system unlocking, but it was also an area that was supposed to be where everyone gathered and had family time. This didn’t refer to your home, though, as you were the only person to use the living area as your father was either in his office, the gym or not home at all.
Lying down on the soft couch, your head nestling into the decorative pillow, you tried to focus your mind into the horny zone. The excitement you anticipated hit you in your gut as you lifted your shirt until it rested over your collarbones to reveal your nude body.
As the chilled breeze ghosted over your skin, it caused a ripple effect of goosebumps to shiver over you, nipples hardening, which sparked pleasure to build in your abdomen and moisture to slick at your entrance. Closing your eyes, your fingers teased over your breasts, imagining they were someone else's hands, exploring the fresh and finding where you were most sensitive.
Pinching your nipples gently, you released a soft sigh as another hand drifted down to the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. Biting your lip, your knees separated to allow your fingers to collect some of the juices that had leaked from your hole and then spread it over your clit, massaging the bundle of nerves in circles.
You were entirely in the zone, feeling increasingly more aroused with breathy moans and whimpers escaping your open mouth each second. This was your favourite place to be, hot and bothered, getting yourself off to feel your cunt pulsing around two of your fingers.
Then you were pressing the vibrator against your clit with two fingers delved into your warmth, curling and pressing on the spot that had your back arching and breaths hitching.
Everything was building, like an orchestra reaching its crescendo, approaching the peak of no return and complete euphoria. Then, the sensation rushed over you. Not the pleasant orgasmic blissful shiver but a haunting, the hairs standing on end over your arms and the back of your neck with unease. It felt like someone was watching you, but that wasn’t the case; the building was locked down, and the security cameras didn't point in this direction.
Your eyes opened on instinct, and fear, horror and dread pulsed through your stomach as you screamed, closing your legs and rushing to stand and cover your body with your shirt. Your knees buckled from the lasting effects of getting yourself off, but you clung to the arm of the couch whilst trying to turn off the vibrator.
It felt like your heart had moved to your throat, with the fear of throwing up and passing out at the same time taking over as you stared unblinking at the man currently sitting in the armchair next to the couch you’d been masturbating on. He was sitting as still as a statute, head to toe, in his tactical gear, even the mask.
“Soldier?” your voice reverberates off the walls you’ve shouted that loud. All it earned you was a tilt of his head to the side, but he didn’t say a single word, so you continued to shout, even though you knew you should have remained calm around someone as dangerous as him. “What the fuck are you doing here? You should have knocked or- something! How did you even get in here?!”
He simply sat there, staring at you with deep blue eyes, his long hair framing his face, his deadly hands resting on the arms of the chair, acting casually like he hadn’t just been sitting there as you feverishly masturbated naked in front of him. The more time passed, the worse your tremors became, almost like you were vibrating with anxiety.
It wasn’t uncommon for the Winter Soldier to not knock when he came to the house however usually your father was present or he’d been anticipated but for him to somehow get in when the house was on lockdown and not be expected, it had you on edge.
“Why didn’t you announce yourself, Soldier?” you tried to sound confident and not fearful, but your voice cracked on the last word, which gave away your anxiety. Your thoughts were going around and around in your head; how long had he been there? How did you not even hear him walking into the room?
The Assets head tilted to the other right, his eyes remaining focused only on your face as he finally began to talk in his low, drawled voice, “Why did you stop?”
Your eyes widened in shock briefly before trying to regain control, “What did you say?”
“You don’t usually stop. Why did you stop now?”
Your heart seemed to stop at this question. Swallowing the thick glob of spit in your mouth, you asked, “What do you mean usually? Have... have you seen me doing this before?”
He nods slowly, and you want to vomit immediately. Closing your eyes briefly, you tried to take a deep breath, hoping it would give you some composure. Maybe this was karma working her evil magic on you, you had decided, for having a kink with being caught, which is why you masturbated in the living room. Why on earth were you now upset when you’d actually been caught?
Sighing and rubbing both hands over your face, ignoring that they were still slightly wet from earlier, you tried to explain to the assassin, “You know, it’s not normal to watch people during intimate times like this. You’re supposed to announce yourself or something”.
“But you look at peace when you do it”, he says in the same emotionless voice. His words catch you off guard, but he continues, “You didn’t finish today like you usually do”.
The way he spoke about what you were doing, you weren’t even sure he knew what it was or the consequences of your actions. You knew his history, who he was and how they controlled him. Did he even know what sex was with all the times his mind had been wiped? He wasn’t acting like a creep, even if he had snuck in to watch you masturbate and clearly had watched it several times before. If he was going to hurt you, he would have done so by now, so tentatively, you sat back onto the couch, still pulling the bottom of your shirt lower over your legs and hiding the vibrator beneath your thigh.
“I didn’t finish like the other times because I didn’t know you were watching; it can make people uncomfortable knowing someone is watching them”.
“Does it make you uncomfortable that you know I’m watching?” his tone lowered with the question he was asking.
“Yes! I don’t want people to watch me do this, and what if my Dad finds out? What if you tell him what I’ve been doing?”
Bucky finally showed some emotion as he frowned in confusion, “Why would I tell your father about this? It has nothing to do with the mission? I like watching you because you seem to enjoy it; isn’t that a good thing?”
He seemed so innocent in his questioning. “Just so I’m getting this right, are you expecting me to continue?” The soldier nods yes in an answer as you release a long breath. “If I say no, will you kill me?” This time, he shakes his head, giving you the answer no, which did little to alleviate the nerves catapulting through you.
Standing up from the couch whilst clutching the vibrator, you rushed towards your bedroom, intending to hide the sex toy and lock yourself in so that you didn’t have to sit looking at the soldier anymore. However, as you stood before the door, you thought it over more. If he’d been watching you all of this time, then what’s the difference with him being here now? He could overpower you any time he wanted, and he didn't want any pleasure back; otherwise, he would have made advances before.
This whole situation came about because you liked the thought of being watched or caught, so why were you running away from that scenario? Having made up your mind, you returned to the living room, where the Soldier hadn’t moved even a strand of hair since you’d left in a hurry.
Sitting back on the couch, your eyes remained everywhere but on him. In fact, as you led back down, you closed your eyes with the hopes that not being able to see him would help to calm the pounding of your nervous heart.
Your nipples were still hard, so you pressed on them through your shirt with trembling fingers, not quite believing you were in this situation. The wetness from your earlier escapades was still evident over your thighs, which you sept firmly closed. Biting your lower lip until it hurt, you kept stimulating your nipples by rubbing the peaks around in circles before pinching them to elicit more of a reaction between your legs.
It worked after a couple of minutes as your muscles lost the tension and melted into the cushions further. Eventually, your thighs were spreading as you tried to only think about that orgasm that had been so very close to pleasuring your body but had quickly disappeared from the soldier's appearance.
With your legs now parted and cunt on full displaying, facing the Asset at the end of the couch, you turned the vibrator on, deciding to go straight for the toy this time rather than playing around first. Pressing the device just above your clit, you released a breathy moan, thighs shaking with the increased delight.
This time, your body heated to the point of sweat, and your face hot to the touch because no matter how much you tried to think of anything else, it always came back to the man sitting near you. With your hips jolting and rolling to push against the vibrator, your fingers moved the shirt further up your stomach, revealing your navel and breasts so you could rub and play with them without restriction.
Then, to both your horror and delight, the Winter Solider flashed into your mind, but this time, it was him hovering above you, using his gloved hands to press against your nipples. Your moans increased in volume, back arching with this thought as you begged your mind to continue this naughty thought.
Releasing your breast, your hand trailed down your body, tickling the delicate skin before dipping past your clit and two fingers into your drenched cunt. You were sure he had thicker fingers than you, but the thought of him between your legs, curling them right into that beautiful spot, his other hand holding the vibrator to your clit, had you whithering around on the couch.
Your pussy clenched harshly around your fingers, trying to draw them deeper, needing their fullness. You weren’t sure when it was, but at some point, your eyes opened so that you could look directly at the man in question, who still had failed to move from his seat in the armchair. You weren’t looking at his body thought; you were looking at those sparking blue eyes partially hidden beneath his hair as they continued to look at just your face like he only wanted to see the pleasure you displayed rather than just touching yourself.
“Oh god”, you groan aloud to these thoughts, legs spreading further open and half-flopping off the couch as you curl your fingers faster and harder. You wished it was his fingers touching you, getting you off and bringing you close to the point of orgasming. The vibrator stroked back and forth against your throbbing clit, and that was all the additional stimulation you needed to reach your peak.
Your eyes finally closed once more as you came hard, body shaking and curling in on yourself with each pulse of your pussy around your fingers. You hadn’t orgasmed that hard in months, so it took you a couple of minutes to try and catch your breath and come out of the buzzing created by the euphoria. 
Now what? You thought whilst turning off the vibrator entirely and leaving the two of you in complete silence. The assassins still hadn’t moved, and for a brief second, you thought of his arousal. Could he even be turned on? Was that a function the scientists allowed him to keep while brainwashed? Was he watching you enough to turn him on?
The thought was swiftly pushed out of your mind as you realised he was the fucking Winter Soldier, the highest-trained assassin who was also 70+ years old; this was probably last on his list of things to be worried about. Sitting up whilst covering your body with your t-shirt once more, you struggled to think what to say or do.
“Do you want me to call my Dad to tell him you’re here for a debrief?” From the corner of your eye, the Asset nodded. You stood to take the call in your bedroom, but as you stood, your eyes briefly looked at him more clearly and noticed that he very evidently had an erection with the way his tactical gear was tented at the crotch. For some reason, this made you feel relieved that he had been turned on by what you saw, and it wasn’t just a one-way situation.
Standing and walking into your bedroom, you collapsed onto the bed with your phone raised to your ear.
Your dad answered immediately with a stern tone, “Yes?”
“Uh hey, Dad, just to let you know, the Soldier’s here”.
“What?” came Alexander Pierces’ concerned voice through the mobile.
“Yeah, he just turned up a couple of minutes ago in the living room”.
“Well, tell him to get back to the compound. I won’t be home tonight, so he needs to come here”.
Finishing the conversation with him, you stood to tell the Soldier his orders but found him nowhere in the building, not in the living room, kitchen or even by the front door. He had simply vanished, and what's more, the alarm was still in place, which meant he had a way of getting in and out of your home without triggering the alarm, which you were sure if it terrified or excited you.
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sehnsuchts-trunken · 12 days
Text
What Happens in Cars, Stays in Cars
dbf!jake seresin x fem!reader 9k words
summary: After a month-long deployment, Jake is finally coming back home. Well, not home home. You're too desperate to wait until you've actually got him home. But who needs home when there's a perfectly good car anyway?
a/n: porn with plot. a lot of plot. and a lot of porn. 18+ obviously. reader is twenty-five in this, jake is forty-seven. as always, a list of things to watch out for:
nudes. mentions of masturbation. pet names used in an unholy way. the word 'brat' is dropped twice. safe sex (yess they still have a condom!!! i feel like i deserve a round of applause for not forgetting it). car sex, so a tiny smidge of exhibitionism. dom!jake. a lot of begging, as always. a tad bit dry humping. first finger sucking, then fingering. any more, uh....? i don't think so. there's not much space in a car for anything else.
top gun masterlist | dbf!jake seresin masterlist
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(the gif has nothing at all to do with the fic, but tell me that's not dbf!jake working out in his backyard knowing you're watching him istg)
It's a one time thing. That's what they told him. A one time thing.
He isn't supposed to do these anymore. He's supposed to be stationed permanently, sitting in his office and doing what an admiral does. Important work, surely. It's a high honour and he's proud, of course. But office work... Office work has never really been his thing. And if they'd deployed him for this mission four months earlier, he would've been thrilled.
He's the best of the best. The navy knows. He knows. Which is why he's an admiral by now. And also why they want him coaching the new hotshots for a month, halfway across the country.
And, yes, he would've been thrilled - four months ago.
Four months ago, when you'd not yet moved back home. Four months ago, when he hadn't yet met you. Four months ago, when he hadn't known what it was like to hold you, to touch you, to miss you.
His phone chimes and momentarily distracts him. It's not that he didn't mute it - he's standing in front of a bunch of twenty-something year olds who he does try to be a role model for - it's just that you'd tampered with it once and ever since then, you've had a personalised ringtone that still somehow works even when everything else is muted. (He could totally turn that off if he wanted to, though. Definitely. Ab-so-lu-tely. He just... doesn't.)
His jaw clenches and he has to restart his sentence, but other than that, he manages to pretend nothing happened. Nonetheless, he has to glare at the snickering wannabe-pilots in the first row, who remind him very much of a young version of himself.
You're three hours ahead of him and probably just got off work. It's likely nothing but a sweet "having a good day?" message or maybe a photo of you all dressed up, ready for dinner with your friends like you'd planned.
Either way, knowing your message is sitting unopened in your chat has him talking quicker. He finishes his lecture half an hour early and fishes his phone from his pocket before the first of his pupils have even got up from their seats - which turns out to be a horrible, horrible idea, because the photo attached to "don't know how long i'll stay out, have a nice night, admiral" with the winky face emoji is not one of you all dressed up for a night out with your friends, but one of you in just a pair of panties in front of the mirror. The mirror in his bedroom.
Fucking god-
He seems to let out some kind of choked up groan or something of the sort, because a few of his pilots turn to look back at him. One even has the audacity to ask if he's alright, which he certainly isn't. But that's absolutely not their problem.
So he grumbles something about how they should all use their free time to go to the gym instead of bothering him before he collects his things and flees to his room. One of the many advantages of being an admiral, of course, is that he doesn't have to bunk anymore, which is always the greatest nuisance for anybody who's ever looking for privacy. The times he's had to listen to guys jack off a foot away from him- fuck, the times they'd had to listen to him.
No, right now he is incredibly thankful for the privacy of his bedroom as he locks the door behind him and opens his phone again. Goddamn, why were you in his house? His fingers hover over the call button for a few seconds, but then he decides against it - you're going out with friends for the first time in months, he doesn't want to bother you.
He's popping the button of his jeans and sitting down on his bed right as you come online.
"Like the pictures, baby? I've got more"
And before he can even respond, you've sent a bunch more selfies, half of them in front of his mirror, the other half on his bed and none of them decently clothed. Fucking hell, in one you've got your fingers down your panties and Jake is really thankful for the privacy of his room then because he groans so loudly that a bunkmate would definitely have heard.
"Are you still at dinner?", he asks, his fingers flying over his keyboard while he tugs at his zipper with his left hand.
"Yeah, won't be home soon", you write back. "Sorry"
"Don't be", Jake responds, as quickly as he can, because he definitely does not want to make you feel bad for spending time with your friends. "Have fun"
"Have fun with the pics", you send. Jake can picture your grin, sitting all dressed up in a restaurant and ignoring your friends to text him. "Thought those could maybe make up for no phone call tonight"
He swallows hard as you log off, leaving him with those pretty pictures of yours that certainly improve his night by a lot. Hell, he's already moving his briefs out of the way and clicking on your photos again. Just seeing you half-naked in his room - fuck, the thought of you sneaking over there only to do a goddamn photoshoot... You're really unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. And he can't wait to get back home to you.
...
"I miss you", you mumble into the phone, blinking at the alarm clock on your nightstand. It's eleven thirty, not nearly late enough for you to feel as exhausted as you do.
"I miss you too, darling", you hear Jake drawl on the other end of the call. "I'll be back soon."
"Not soon enough", you whine - god, you sound pathetic and miserable to your own ears already, you must sound ten times worse to him. You let yourself fall back into your pillows and let out a deep sigh. "Would it be rude to say I hope the mission gets cancelled?"
Jake chuckles. Fucking hell, you miss that chuckle so much. You miss him so much. You miss cuddling up to him under the covers and tucking your head under his chin. You miss running your fingers through his hair and having your hands on him. You miss seeing him, standing in the kitchen or working out or tinkering in the backyard or fresh out of the shower. Shit, you even miss sneaking around with him, because at least then you'd gotten to watch him from a distance, maybe steal a kiss when your parents hadn't been looking or spend an night at his house pretending to be at your friend's.
Now he's halfway across the country and absolutely, completely out of reach. You'd barely gotten to see him at all - twice it had worked out to video-call during a lunch break, once he'd even managed to virtually show you around his office after work. The camera quality is hardly any good, of course, which means video-calls aren't all that great, plus the connection never seems to really be stable, so with a few exceptions, you've only seen Jake in pictures over the past two and a half weeks.
His deployment would take another one and a half and then, finally, he'd be back home. Back home with you.
"I won't answer that", Jake says, and you can almost hear him grin. "But I wouldn't mind either if they moved the mission up."
You have to bite down on your lip to hide a smile.
"So you think you're good to go?", you ask softly, not wanting to bring the mood down further, instead opting for the non-classified work questions. You've already been bringing down the mood enough back here at home - you don't need to fill the few minutes a day you get with Jake with your whining as well. Your parents already hear enough of that. Of course, they don't know why you've been in such a bad mood ever since Jake left. And they can't know, either. You can't tell them. You can't tell anyone.
You can't tell anyone because no one knows that you've been sneaking around with your dad's best friend for the past three months. So you resign yourself to moping around and keeping out of everybody's way as much as you can. For one and a half weeks more, one and a half...
...
Exactly one and a half week later you're standing at the airport in your best heels and a little yellow sundress and are positively buzzing with nervous energy. Jake's plane got in at half, he'd said, when you'd last spoken him six hours earlier. Then the plane had taken off and so had his wifi.
You're playing around with a strand of your hair and doing your hardest not to start chewing off your nails, which proves more difficult than you'd thought (even though you'd put on nail polish).
You're just so excited.
It's been a month since you'd last seen him. A month. And at the early stage of your... relationship, if you could call it that, that's basically half a year. God, how long it's been since you've run your hands through his hair, since you've felt his arms around you.
You miss him so much.
Your phone chimes and you fish it out of your pocket with trembling hands, only to be disappointed when it's not a message from Jake. It's not like you'd told him to text when he'd landed, just... A part of you is kind of scared you're waiting in the wrong place. Maybe he's on the other end of the airport - it's not a particularly small one. It'd take you hours to find each other if you were waiting in the wrong place.
Then again - maybe the plane is late. Maybe he's had to wait for his luggage.
You check the time, just to be safe. It's 11:46. For all you know, Jake is still in the air. Or less than a door away.
You bounce on your feet, nervously shifting back and forth before checking your phone again. The text you'd gotten is from one of your friends, who you text back only to distract you. It barely works anyway. You can't put it away again quickly enough.
It's not even that you don't want to distract yourself. You just physically can't pay attention. You've been a nervous wreck for the past three days, ever since you'd made the plan to pick him up from the airport. Which is probably why you almost don't spot him.
Almost.
He walks through the opened doors with his suitcase rolling behind him, his backpack slung over his shoulder and at least five other people rushing past him.
He sees you before you see him.
But then, then when you see him-
You're already sprinting towards him before your mind even tells your legs to move. You can't control it and you can't be bothered to. Why would you?
You don't care about the people glancing at you with raised eyebrows. You only care about Jake, about Jake who's standing there, pulling his hand from the handle of his suitcase and grinning at you. Grinning at you as you run at him and throw yourself into his arms.
He catches you effortlessly and steadies you as you cross your hands behind his neck and press your lips to his.
God, how you've missed him! How long you haven't kissed him!
His palms flatten against your back and he holds you tight, so tightly to him. You push even closer. He's here. He's back.
You don't realise you're crying until you taste the tears.
That's when Jake pulls back.
"I've missed you", he mutters, raising a hand and brushing the tears off your cheeks. You lean into the touch and tighten your arms around his neck. You're really touching him. He's really here.
"I missed you too", you try to say, but you're choked up and crying and it somehow comes out a blubbering, stuttering mess that you're not quite sure Jake can even understand. "Missed you so much."
He smiles one of those gorgeous smiles that you haven't seen in far too long before he leans down and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. Your eyes flutter closed as you lean into him, your fingers trailing up the nape of his neck. His breath mingles with yours as he draws you in again and catches you in another kiss, tugging gently at your bottom lip as if he has all the time in the world to do it - slow and languid and real. Finally real again.
He pulls you in by your waist, his hands splayed wide and so, so big against your thin sundress. Your nails scratch against his neck and he lets out a groan and suddenly, he's got his hands on your thighs and you're wrapping your legs around his middle and tightening your arms around him and his lips are working against yours feverishly, heavily, messily. You're crossing your feet behind his back when one of them hits something hard. You've flinched away from him even before you can hear the dull crash of his suitcase kissing the airport floor.
There's blood rushing in your ears and you're sure if someone measured your heart rate right now, you'd be sent to the ER immediately. You probably look like a tomato with all the redness in your cheeks. But Jake stares at his suitcase silently for two seconds too, breathing heavily as his grip on you tightens further.
As much as he likes having you in his arms, his suitcase reminds him that you're still very much in the middle of a well-used airport. So he turns back to you and lowers his voice.
"I think we should get out of here, darling."
Your lips tug up into a grin and you lean in to give him just one last, quick kiss.
"Yeah", you breathe, carefully jumping back down onto your own feet. Jake lets go of you only reluctantly - if this wasn't a public airport, he'd never have let you go again. But it is, so he swallows hard as you brush your palms down your dress and blink up at him with a smile.
You're wearing heels. You're still shorter than him by quite a bit.
His amusement melts into a frown when you grab the handle of his suitcase.
"I've got that", he says, reaching his hand out to take the suitcase from you, but you're already maneuvering it away from him and starting to walk in the direction (you think it's the right direction) you'd parked your car in.
"I want to do it for you", you hum.
"Sweetheart, you're already doing enough for me", he says, and he really does mean it. You've driven all this way to come pick him up, you'd watered his plants while he'd been away, you'd even cleaned. That one mostly because you'd desperately needed something to do and Jake's house had always smelled like him, but still.
"Doing enough to you, you mean." Your grin borders on lewd as you dig your teeth into your lip.
"Yeah, that too", he sighs, but he has to grin as well. You're absolutely unbelievable. Instead of trying to argue (he knows it'd be fruitless anyway), he wraps an arm around your back and pulls you into his side, his hand resting on your waist again.
You glance at him.
"I'm not letting go of this suitcase", you warn, even as you lean into his side and swallow. God, he looks so good. And he smells so good. And he feels so good.
"Got it", he chuckles, brushing a kiss to your temple and pulling you even closer into him. He can't have you close enough. Does this fucking airport not have an end? He just needs a little more privacy, a little more space-
"This way", you say and point right. Jake smiles at you as you guide him down the halls. He can't help but watch, can't help but stare at you, at your dress in that soft shade of yellow and your matching heels. Autumn doesn't seem to have caught up with you yet. Then again - autumn hasn't caught up with this place yet. And he's used to Texas heat, he likes that it doesn't get cold here. Also, those sundresses... Yeah, he certainly isn't complaining about the weather.
You speed up when you finally catch sight of the doors, dragging him along with you, almost falling into a jog. The suitcase rumbles against the airport floor, the wheels click-clacking over uneven ridges and bumps and then, thank god, you feel the sunshine on your skin. His hand tightens around your waist.
"Home sweet home", you grin as you take the first step onto concrete. You swivel around and steady both palms against the handle of his suitcase behind your back, bouncing on your heels and looking up at him. "After about a three hour drive."
Jake chuckles and looks back at you with raised eyebrows.
"You'll drive?", he asks. You hum.
"Maybe", you grin as you turn away again and walk over to your car, parked only three rows away for whatever holy reason. You'd been incredibly lucky. And you'd almost run over a grandma. "Or maybe not."
Jake follows you with another low chuckle that sends a pleasant tingling sensation down your spine. It's been so long since you heard that chuckle behind you.
He's next to you again within a few long strides, reaching out for you and you slow your steps to intertwine your fingers with his.
His hands are so big. He's holding onto you so firmly. Fuck, you've missed him so much.
You squeeze his hand and walk a little quicker. Car, home. Car, home. That's it. Then you've got him all to yourself. You can see the car glinting in the sunlight already - and then it's three hours. Three hours next to him in an enclosed space before you've truly got him back.
You stop and let go of his suitcase to fish the car keys out of your pocket without dropping his hand. You push the unlock button and open up the trunk before you turn to Jake and grin at him.
You want to say something, really. It's on the tip of your tongue, still running through your mind, but you've completely forgotten it when you look up at him.
Because while you'd been dragging him to the car, he'd pulled his sunglasses out and put them on and for whatever reason... That kind of does it for you. Holy shit.
"Are those new?", you ask hoarsely and swallow hard, the car keys digging into your palm as you tighten your fist around them. Maybe it's just that you haven't seen him in a month. Or maybe it's the way the sunlight catches his hair, slightly longer than when he'd left. Maybe it's just that with the sun behind him, you've got no choice but to squint at his broad shoulders.
"The other pair broke", Jake explains, letting go of your hand only to wrap his arms around your waist. Fuck, you're just standing there, doing absolutely nothing and he already can't keep from touching you. He has to touch you. He's got to put his arms around you and pull you close. "Why? Don't like it?"
You steady your palms against his chest and let out a breath as your eyes drop to his lips - he's got that cheeky look on his face that's not really a grin but not really not a grin and that nobody but him can do.
"I do", you counter, because it's the truth, and there's no way you can lie to him. "I very much do."
"Very much?" Jake does grin then, raises his eyebrows and pulls you fully against him. "That's more than just a yes."
Your fingers fist his shirt, the car keys digging into his chest just as firmly as they're digging into your palm now. He doesn't seem to be too bothered. He really isn't too bothered.
"They look good on you", you mutter, pulling him even closer. It's been too long since you'd pulled him close... And he feels so good, smells so good, looks so good. Fuck, he's so big and broad and-
"Thanks", he mutters, his grin all cheeky and self-assured and god, is it really this hot? Do you just feel this hot? Because you feel really, really hot. Your skin is burning. How the hell are you supposed to manage a three hour car ride?
"Jake", you whimper, without even meaning to. It's barely above a breath, barely above a whisper, and still too much of a whine to sound anything close to appropriate. A sort of grunt leaves his lips before his arms tighten around you, before he slots his mouth over yours hard. His thumbs drag circles against the small of your back, catching on the fabric of your dress. Your fingertips dig into his shirt, into his chest.
The sun beams down on you, warming your thighs and your arms and every exposed inch of skin, brightness behind closed eyelids as you push further and further into him. He's so sturdy, all hard abs right in front of you, broad arms around you.
You don't even notice the breathless moan that escapes your tongue. You can only feel the heat boiling inside of you, the desperate heat inside of you crawling up your body, every inch of you burning. Burning with want for him. With need for him. Fuck, he's been gone for way too long.
And then he pulls back.
You need a few seconds to even blink yourself back to reality.
"Home?", he suggests, even though it's less of a suggestion and more just a fact. He's getting you home. Now.
"Please", you whine, already halfway through pulling back and dropping the car keys into his palm. Three hours. Three fucking hours, you... You simply won't manage to sit down behind the steering wheel with your skin crawling and your underwear soaked through.
You'll barely manage sitting in the passenger seat.
Jake presses another kiss against your temple before he grabs his suitcase and leaves you standing there, trying to pull yourself together. He's breathing hard and his muscles are tight, his jaw clenched as he heaves his suitcase into the trunk and drops his backpack into it right after.
You force your legs to work, to carry you to the passenger side, force your arm to raise and your hand to close around the handle. It's heavy and hard work. Your body feels leaden, entranced. You let yourself collapse onto the seat and close your eyes.
Fuck.
You'd forgotten how much... how easily...
"Seatbelt, darling", Jake reminds you as he climbs into the driver's seat and adjusts it. You swallow hard and strap yourself in, trying to even out your breathing and pull yourself back to reality while you fumble for the confirmative click.
"Three hours", you remind yourself breathily.
"Three hours", Jake agrees lowly and turns the key in the ignition.
You settle back in your seat and close your eyes, clenching and unclenching your jaw as the radio starts playing and the car rolls out of the parking lot. You just have to relax. Just relax. Relax.
So you breathe out deeply and open your eyes again. Jake glances over at you as you lean forward, flick through the radio channels and then adjust in your seat - it's touching too much, too little of your skin, and the way you're rubbing against it somehow doesn't help in the slightest.
Before you can tuck one of your legs under the other and press the heel of your foot against your core, Jake puts his hand against your thigh. Against your bare thigh. His big fucking hand against your bare thigh.
You bite down on your lip and look up at him.
God, he looks so good. His features are chiseled, his hair that sunny, beachy kind of blond-
"Stop that", Jake grunts, his eyes trained on the road in front of him. It takes you two seconds to even realise he's talking to you. You'd kind of lost yourself in staring at him there.
"Stop what?", you ask, voice hitching as his fingers tighten on your thigh. Damn it, he needs to stop that. He's hardly been driving five minutes, he can't already be teasing you.
For once, actually, he doesn't even mean to tease you - not that you know. He just can't help but touch you, not when he hasn't touched you in a month, not when you're sitting so deliciously, tauntingly next to him.
"Stop looking at me like that", he says, taking his hand off of you to change gears before grabbing even tighter onto you again. "Or I'll have to pull over."
You brush your fingers along his wrist. Your chest feels tight, so tight. It takes everything in you not to push his hand further up your thigh. And you'd actually thought you'd manage a three hour car ride.
"I'll stop", you breathe, even though pulling over doesn't seem like the worst idea. "If you want me to."
A muscle twitches in his jaw.
"Don't do that", he warns, his voice staggering into that indecent gruff of his that has you clenching your thighs together, trapping his fingertips between your legs.
"Don't do what?", you ask, trying your best to sound somewhat innocent while you continue this little taunting game, not as though you're deliberately riling him up. You aren't, really. It's more just a reflex.
He turns his head to you then. His eyes are narrowed and his jaw is clenched and honestly, the way he's meeting your gaze all serious, as though he's trying to reprimand you just by looking at you - for no more than five seconds, of course, before he drags his eyes back to the road - has your lips tugging up in a teasing grin.
"Jake", you whisper, drawing your nails slowly up his arm, all the way from his wrist to his elbow. "Baby. You've been away for so long. You know how lonely I've been, right?"
Jake glances at you again and grunts his agreement, eyebrows raising as he starts to realise what you're doing.
"You can't blame me for looking at you", you go on, digging your fingertips into a spot right above his elbow and drawing one, two circles there. "Or for touching you."
Then you shift in your seat, spread your legs a little and run your fingers down his arm again. You grab his hand and brush his fingertips against the soaked spot on your panties.
"Or for being this wet", you whisper, your breath hitching from the sting in your stomach. He lets out a low curse. "I've just missed you so much."
He sucks in a breath then and trails his fingertips up your panties once, just once, before he jerks his hand back and clenches it hard around the steering wheel, so hard that his knuckles turn wide. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! You're driving him crazy. You're driving him fucking crazy.
He's supposed to be responsible here. Somewhat responsible. You're young, you've got that risky twinkle in your eyes that he knows so well because he'd seen it in the mirror himself for over twenty years. He knows the thrilling buzz that's running through your veins. He still feels it whenever he's in the air. And he feels it around you.
Which is why he's not responsible, not when it comes to you. Not when you're sitting next to him in that pretty dress, with no shorts on and completely fucking soaked through.
You grin to yourself as he pulls off the highway and bite down on your lip, shifting in your seat once more, fighting the urge to trail your own fingers into your panties.
You haven't even asked how his deployment had been.
But goddamn, you'll have enough time to do that once you've got home. Or got off. Or got him off. At this point, you don't fucking care.
He pulls into one of those parking lots that mainly trucks use, one of those where there's hardly ever a toilet and if, then one that hasn't been usable since the last century. Right now, there's two trucks right at the front that Jake just brushes past. He parks your car at the far end and turns the motor off.
The silence is heavy.
Your breath comes much too quickly. Your eyes are fixed on him. And every inch of your skin is crawling with heat. But you don't move. You can't move.
He rolls his seat all the way back.
"Jake-", you whisper, catching on his name when he looks up and meets your eyes. There's a ghost of a grin on his lips, but... Maybe you're wrong.
"Yes, darling?", he asks, raising his eyebrows and leaning back in his seat. You have to strain your neck to keep looking at him. Instead of an answer, you just softly shake your head. You're suddenly unsure of what to say. His eyes weigh you down. You're painfully aware of every inch of your skin under his watchful gaze.
"Come on", he drawls, the grin that's growing on his lips more obvious now. "You were all eager to talk just then, baby."
Your teeth catch on your lip as you let out a breathless sigh. Your fingers hover over the buckle of your seat belt. Can you? Or...
"I missed you", you whisper, letting your fingertips glide over the hard plastic. "Can I-"
You swallow.
"Can you what, darling?", he repeats, grinning widely now.
You chew on your lip as you push down and unbuckle yourself slowly, your eyes still trained on Jake, who simply watches you with raised eyebrows.
"Can I touch you?", you whisper, your breath disappearing into the thick air of the car, the seatbelt still caught between your fingers. The corners of his mouth only tug up further.
You look angelic with your wide eyes and rosy cheeks, so obviously desperate to feel him - but still you don't move. You sit there and wait for him to tell you what to do. To allow you to do something. Anything. It's almost endearing how well behaved you are in moments like this.
"Go on, darling", he drawls. "Come here."
Without hesitation, you reach over the centre console and grab onto his shoulders, steadying yourself against him as you throw one of your legs over his and climb into his lap. His hands find your waist, grab onto your sides, hold you softly against him. Your teeth dig into your lip as you sink down, your fingers trailing along the outline of his collarbones over his shirt, your dress riding up and pooling around your hips. You suck in a breath when your panties drag against his jeans.
Fuck. It's been so long. It's been way too long.
"Jake", you mutter as you lean in, pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth, brushing your nose against his cheek. "You look good."
He lets out a breathy chuckle, his grip on you tightening.
"I know, darling", he can't help but say with a grin. "Thanks."
You giggle onto his skin as you trail your lips down his jaw. Sometimes he's incredibly unbelievable. I know. How cocky. Not that he shouldn't be - goddamn, he should be! You can't even fault him. And confidence is sexy. Especially on him. Though, then again, anything on him is sexy.
"I've missed you", you mutter, pressing another open-mouthed kiss against his skin, this time against the spot between his neck and his ear. "Missed looking at you. Missed touching you."
"Yeah", Jake breathes, digging his hands into your hips and pulling you harder onto him. "I've missed you too."
He's missed you so fucking much that he's hurting, straining against his jeans so hard that he feels like he might combust. And you're kissing down his throat, pressing your lips against his skin, wanting, needing to touch him, to feel him-
A month away from each other. A month too long.
"I need you, Jake", you whimper into his ear, all breathy and desperate, rocking softly back and forth in his lap and letting your eyes fall shut.
"You need me, baby?", he echoes, grabbing you as tightly as he can and dragging you against him, his head thumping back against the driver's seat.
A filthy moan slips past your lips as your hips roll against his, finally, for the first time in weeks. Fuck, yes, you need him so badly. You need him now. Here and now, in the passenger seat of your car.
"Please, Jake", you breathe, steadying one palm against his chest and grabbing one of his hands with the other. You wrap your fingers around his wrist and tug it off of you, but before you can drag it down to your panties again, drop it between your legs and beg him to fuck you, before you can do any of that, he's turning your grip around and taking your hands in his instead.
"You're getting ahead of yourself, baby", he chuckles, before settling your hands against your thighs. He's painfully hard by now, yes- But that doesn't mean you can just drag him to where you want him. "Seems like you forgot your manners."
You're already shaking your head before he can finish. No, you haven't, you haven't, you just need him so badly... and you can feel him, you can feel that he needs you too, so why doesn't he just take you? Why doesn't he-
"I haven't, Jake, I promise", you whisper, looking at him and forcing yourself to still on his lap. It won't help you if you move. It definitely won't help you if you move.
"You haven't?", he asks with raised eyebrows, looking all but amused at you. You keep shaking your head no, no, no. "So if I'd told you to stay in your seat and wait, you would've?"
You bite down on the inside of your cheek and look away. He's grinning. He knows. He's not even really asking. But if you'd learnt anything, anything at all about him, it's that he doesn't like to be ignored. If he asks a question, he wants it answered. So you'll answer.
"No", you breathe truthfully, because you most definitely wouldn't have managed a three hour car ride next to him. There's no way you would've managed a three hour car ride next to him. No fucking way.
His grin widens.
"No", he repeats lowly. "No, darling? You wouldn't have listened?"
"Couldn't", you correct, fighting the desire to rock against his thighs that's growing with every passing second. He looks so fucking good. He smells so fucking good. He feels so fucking good. And he'd fuck you so good, you know that, if he'd just finally get to it.
"Couldn't", he echoes, his fingertips rubbing circles onto the bare skin of your thighs. "That desperate."
It's just that he's that desperate, too. Desperate to feel you wrapped around him, desperate to hear you whimper and moan. He needs you as much as you need him.
"You want me to fuck you, baby?", he asks, all smooth and casual and your fingers dig into your thighs to feel something, anything. It's unbelievable how easily something so dirty slips off his lips.
"Yes", you gasp. "Want you so bad, Jake. Please. I'll be so good for you. I'll be perfect."
A muscle ticks in his jaw.
"You are perfect", he breathes, even though that hadn't been his plan at all. But he has to say it. He has to tell you. You've got him wrapped around your little finger, even if you don't know. And he's not all that sure you don't know anyway.
Your teeth catch on your lip, your hands dig harder into your skin and-
And Jake's thumbs trail along the inside of your bare thighs, brushing up naked skin, drawing a shallow breath from your tongue. A shiver runs down your spine as you clench your legs around his and force yourself to keep still. He's touching you. You have to remind yourself of that. He is touching you. There's no reason at all for the urge to defy him, to pop open his jeans and just sink down on him. He's touching you, he's touching you...
Yeah. Barely.
"Let me feel you", you beg, drawing your hands away from your thighs and trying to put them against his chest - but before you can, he's pulled his hands away from your thighs as well and grabbed your wrists. Again.
"You're not in charge here, darling", he chuckles, pushing your hands back down. He grabs for your waist again. "If you can't behave, I'm gonna put you back in the passenger seat and keep on driving, got that?"
You nod.
You want to be good for him. You will be good for him. God, there's no fucking way you could have managed the car ride already, and if you had to sit through it now, after this- No. You'll be good for him. You'll be so good for him.
He flashes you a grin and goes back to dragging his thumbs along your thighs.
"Ask nicely", he says. "Maybe I'll-"
"Please", you blurt out, your hips involuntarily bucking into his touch. "Can I kiss you?"
His eyes drop down to your mouth then.
"Yeah, baby", he mutters, his thumbs catching on the hem of your dress. "You can kiss me."
He expects you to jump at him, to slot your lips over his and lick into his mouth eagerly - but you only steady your palms carefully against his chest and lean in, your eyes focused on his, your breath meeting his skin. You kiss him softly, lightly, with your lips just so grazing his and your eyes fluttering shut. His fingertips run down the soaked spot on your panties.
That's when your teeth catch on his lip. You sink them into his skin gently and tug, your heart missing a beat as he groans into you. He hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them to the side just like you'd hoped, just like you'd begged for.
Jake's right - you're not in charge. But that doesn't mean you don't know what buttons to push to get what you want.
His fingertips trail through your wetness for the first time in a whole fucking month. It's long overdue. So long.
You moan into him, pressing your chest right up against his and fisting his shirt, and push closer. You need to be this close. You need to be even closer. You need him to fuck you, now, not only to drag his fingers up to your clit.
But he's too focused on you, getting too drunk on the feeling of you. He's finally got you here again, finally on his lap again, finally kissing him again, finally eager for him again. He's finally touching you again. And he has to touch you.
You're so fucking wet. You're soaked. He wants to take his time to notice that. He needs to take his time to notice that. He needs to touch you, to feel you. He doesn't even mean to tease you. He doesn't even realise he is teasing you. Not until you rock into his hand and let a whine slip into his mouth.
You really don't intend to. It's an accident. You don't want to rush him. What you want is to be good for him. But you can't help yourself.
And he knows you can't.
Which is the only reason he doesn't pull back and leave you high and dry. Well, that - and his desperation to have you.
So instead, he pushes two fingers into you and catches the languid moan you let out. Fuck. You sound so sweet. You feel so perfect. It's been so fucking long.
"Jake", you whimper, just because it's also been that fucking long since you've whined his name into his mouth. Into the low-quality mic of your phone, yes. But with his lips on yours? With his fingers thrusting inside you so precisely, hitting the right spot immediately? No, that's been too fucking long.
It's dirty. Not quick, like the other times neither of you had been patient enough to look for a better spot to have each other and had opted for the car instead. No, it's just dirty, with his fingers pumping in and out of you, his tongue running along yours and your knees rubbing against the seat.
Maybe it's because the radio had turned off alongside the car, or maybe it's just the long month you'd spent apart - either way, all sounds are louder than they should be, your ears ringing with your moans, your wetness around his fingers and his lips against yours.
Goddamn.
He's working magic. You don't know how he hits the right spot again and again and again, his fingers curling, his thumb catching on your clit - but he has you clenching around him, warmth pooling in your core, wetness dripping down your thighs and onto his jeans within minutes.
You pull an inch away from him, your eyes still squeezed shut, your palms flattening against his shirt, and the only reason he knows he isn't just dreaming of you again is because you're warm and wet around his fingers. Everything else about you is unreal.
You're gorgeous. You're so damn stunning, rocking your hips back against him and moaning his name, your lips parted and your skin sweaty.
"Fuck", you pant, your chest rising and falling so tantalisingly that his eyes drop right down to your cleavage. "Just like that."
He has to grin to himself, but he lets it slide, if only because you're looking so pretty holding onto him as he pushes his fingers into you and circles your clit - just like that. Again and again, until you're digging your nails into his chest and catching your lip between your teeth and moaning his name, Jake, baby, fuck, fuck, fuck, until you're clenching around him and shuddering in his arms, until you're reaching your high on his fingers, not on your own for the first time in four full weeks.
"Attagirl", he mutters, straining so hard against his pants that it hurts. "I've got you."
You press your lips against his jaw sloppily as you come down, your breath shallow, your skin burning, just needing to get your mouth on him. You can feel your heart beating, every thud, thud, thud against your chest. God. You hadn't come like that in a month. You'd come, sure, to the low rumble of his voice over the phone, calling you all sorts of sweet names and telling you just how to get off for him. But nothing could ever possibly beat the way he works you.
And still - even as you come down from your orgasm, you already crave the next, long and lust and hunger for him inside of you, not his fingers, but his cock.
"Jake", you mewl, slotting your lips over his and desperately dragging your tongue over them before you draw back an inch, your breath meeting his. "Fuck me? Please?"
He pulls his fingers out of you and raises his hand and before you can even really realise what you're doing, you're parting your lips and watching as he grins and presses his fingertips down on your tongue. God, he fucking tastes like you. You suck his fingers into your mouth obediently and lick them clean, looking at him out of lowered, half-lidded eyes and he fucking grabs at your waist with his other hand like his life depends on it.
Goddamn, it's been too long since he's watched this. Since he's had this sight in front of him. And holy mother of hell, what a sight that is.
Your cheeks hollowed out, your gaze caught on his, your lips wrapped around his fingers. His jeans are too tight. Too fucking tight. He needs relief. Now.
So he pulls his fingers out of your mouth with a low grunt and fumbles with the button of his jeans, quick and hurried. He's barely popped it open before your hands slip between his and push them out of the way. You drag down his zipper, reach into his briefs, finally, finally, finally! and he lets you, steadying his palms against your thighs and watching you tug your lip between your teeth.
"Condom", you breathe, then you glance up at him and blink - once, twice, thrice to get yourself back to reality. Condom. Condom, fuck, you're sure you've got one, you know you've got one, somewhere-
Jake takes his hand off your thigh and reaches for his pocket, pulling out a condom before you've even finished thinking.
You grab it from him almost reflexively, your fingers closing around it, tearing it open - quick and frenzied now, because you're not sure how much longer you can hold out. How much longer you can manage without having him.
You glance up at him before you roll it onto him, waiting, checking, if you can, if he'll let you- And how could he not? Fuck, he's got to clench his jaw and grab onto your waist just to hold back, to stay still. He hadn't meant for it to be like this. He'd meant to fuck you back at home, slow and steady, preferably in bed where he could really see you, where he could see every inch of you, not in the front seat of your car that he'd probably have to get cleaned tomorrow. But he can't fucking help himself. He can barely fucking wait until you've rolled the condom onto him, already grabbing at your bare thighs, slipping his hands below your dress, grasping at your stomach.
You steady your palms against his chest and breathe out a whine as his fingers slide across your boobs, pushing the fabric of your dress up, up, up, circling your nipples, hardened and sensitive and damn, you've missed him. You've missed him so fucking much. It's been so fucking long. And you're so fucking desperate.
So you slowly sink down on him and let out a moan, rolling off your tongue so filthily he has to groan. Shit, shit- You hold yourself against him, drop your head against his shoulder and an open-mouthed kiss onto his skin.
"Fuck", he grunts, his fingers working frenzied circles onto your boobs, trying, desperately, no, needing to touch you, to feel you. God, you feel so good around him. Finally around him again. You take your time sinking down on him, catching your breath and pressing your lips against his neck, your eyes squeezed shut. Inch by inch, you take him - and the only way he can keep from bucking up into you is by trying not to concentrate on the way you feel around him (so, so fucking perfect), but instead do his best to breathe. Just... breathe. It's been too fucking long. And you're too fucking pretty. And he'll go fucking crazy.
"Jake", you mewl, your lips dragging against his jaw.
Instead of an answer, he turns his head and catches you in a kiss.
You whine into his mouth, your legs clamping around his, stilling as you adjust, your tongue running along his lips, his teeth, your hands fisting his shirt, clenching and cramping and pressing against his chest.
"Go on", he urges, pulling away no more than an inch, his breath shallow, mingling with yours. "Take what you want, darling."
"Fuck", you breathe, arching into his palms and steadying yourself against him, your teeth catching on your lip as you move - up, slowly, steadily, then down, faster, quicker, and again, and again. Holy hell. Moan after moan rolls off your tongue. He feels so fucking good. You're so fucking full of him. You find a rhythm, then that spot inside of you. Your head tilts back, your fingers clench into the collar of his shirt, your nails scratch against his skin.
He watches you, every inch of him tensing. You're gorgeous, so damn gorgeous, bouncing in his lap like this. You're stunning, your dress pooling around your hips as he drags his hands back down to your waist, thumbing at your stomach, circling and drawing against your skin. He's touching you. Now, here. It's not just a dream. It's not just his imagination. It's you, you, wrapped around him, moving up and down him, your palms against his chest, your eyes fluttered shut, your teeth digging into your lip.
"Just like that, keep going", he encourages, all low and deep, smooths his hands down your body and can't help but grin as you let out a soft mewl. It's been so long since he's heard you whine for him - so long since he's heard it without hundreds and hundres of miles between you, without the microphone ruining what have to be the sweetest sounds he's ever known. "Feeling good, baby?"
The air is heavy, heavy and sticky. It presses down on you, pushes against your skin, settles on your body and flattens your breath. Every single one of your nerve ends is on fire.
"Yes", you gasp, your eyes fluttering open to take him in, him in all of his very, very real glory right in front of you. He looks so handsome, so fucking handsome. Your thighs tighten, clench. You can feel yourself growing closer and closer and closer with every stroke, with every time you sink down on him. Fuck, he doesn't just feel good, he feels heavenly. He feels like everything you need. "So good, Jake."
The grin on his lips sends sparks through your body. It's confident, self-assured... Yeah, you're on top of him, you're moving, you're taking what you want - but he's in charge, you can see it in his eyes. He's in control. It's in the way he breathes, in the way his hands grab at your hips, in the way he palms at your skin. If it weren't for the red on his cheeks, for the sweat beading on his forehead, you wouldn't even have guessed he's all that affected. But he's hard, he's hard as a rock, and it's taking everything in him not to just buck up into you and come right on the spot.
He prides himself on his stamina. In all his years, he's always prided himself on his stamina - on how he can keep going long enough to make you come twice, thrice. And he'll hold out now, too.
But you're gorgeous. And you feel perfect. And you're close, you're clenching around him as you lean in to press your lips to his, to slot your mouths together and kiss him with all your might.
So you're not making it easy for him. Not at all.
He brushes his hand down to the inside of your thigh, leaves a trail of tingles on your skin before his finger finds your clit. You breathe out a whine that he easily catches on his tongue, your nails digging into his chest as he draws circles on your clit, on that sensitive bundle of nerves that has you melting, your eyes squeezing, squeezing, squeezing shut.
Fuck, fuck, you're close, you're close-
Just for a fleeting second, Jake debates pulling his hand away again and leaving you there, on this edge you're teetering on. Not forever, only until you'd got home or so. But he's too desperate to come, too wound up already, too close himself, and there's a much bigger part of him that wants to just fill you up in the driver's seat of your car, in this random parking lot, a month after he'd last had you. The part of him that will revel in knowing that you'll be sitting in the passenger seat for the next three hours with soaked panties, probably leaving behind a wet patch when you'll get out, the evidence of two orgasms right there-
"Fuck, Jake", you gasp and your head rolls back, your lips parting as your entire body clenches, every single muscle cramping and tightening at once, your nails digging hard and harder into his skin, your eyes squeezing shut. His finger on your clit doesn't still, just keeps drawing circles, keeps guiding you through your high, through the foggy haze you're swimming in as your body writhes and tingles.
Jake is too entranced, too enamoured, too captivated by you to even realise he's spilling inside the condom, coming as you do. He can't feel, can't see, can't touch anything but you - his hand grabs at your hip, it palms at your thigh. Anything to feel you. Anything to be with you as you unravel.
"Jake, fuck", you breathe, a lot more softly now. Your grip on him loosens. He'd barely noticed how your nails had still been digging into his chest, but now that you're pulling them away, stretching your fingers and steadying your palms flat against him, he can't help but miss them. You blink at him with the sweetest smile, your lips plush and kiss-swollen, and the view of you is so disarming that he can just so resist opening his mouth and letting those final three words roll off his tongue. But it's too early, it's way too early, even as you're sitting in his lap, even as you're squeezing his cock, even as he draws his finger away from your clit. He's never been the type to say it early. He won't now.
No, instead he raises his hand and rests his fingers against your lips. Once more today, you part them obediently and wait until he's pushed them onto your tongue. Then you close your mouth around them - he still tastes of you faintly - and suck, slathering them in saliva in that sloppy, messy, dirty way you know he likes, your head bobbing as you clean them off. You pull back just far enough to dig your teeth into his fingertips and bite down on them playfully.
Your lips tug into a grin as he draws his hand back, eyebrows raising, his gaze settling on you - still so very heavy, so intense, so fucking full of sex.
"You're a brat, darling", he chides, but he's already brushing strands of hair out of your face, tucking them behind your ears and then wrapping his arms around you to pull you even closer, even tighter to him. Your grin only grows as your fingers clench into the collar of his shirt.
"Maybe", you laugh breathily, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips, one that's so addicting he thinks he might need to stay in this car, in this parking lot for the rest of eternity. "But you love it."
Jake chuckles as he chases after your lips.
"Such a brat."
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afeelgoodblog · 28 days
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The Best News of Last Week - 29 April 2024
1. Net neutrality rules restored by US agency
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The U.S. Federal Communications Commission voted 3-2 on Thursday to reinstate landmark net neutrality rules and reassume regulatory oversight of broadband internet rescinded under former President Donald Trump.
2. Airlines required to refund passengers for canceled, delayed flights
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DOT will also require airlines to give cash refunds if your bags are lost and not delivered within 12 hours.
The refunds must be issued within seven days, according to the new DOT rules, and must be in cash unless the passenger chooses another form of compensation. Airlines can no longer issue refunds in forms of vouchers or credits when consumers are entitled to receive cash.
3. How new mosquito nets averted 13 million malaria cases
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Compared to standard nets, the introduction of 56 million state-of-the-art mosquito nets in 17 countries across sub-Saharan Africa averted an estimated 13 million malaria cases and 24,600 deaths. The New Nets Project, an initiative funded by Unitaid and the Global Fund and led by the Innovative Vector Control Consortium (IVCC), piloted the use of dual-insecticide nets in malaria-endemic countries between 2019 and 2022 to address the growing threat of insecticide resistance.
4. Germany has installed over 400,000 ‘solar balconies’
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This new wave of solar producers aren’t just getting cheap electricity, they’re also participating in the energy transition.
More than 400,000 plug-in solar systems have been installed in Germany, most of them taking up a seamless spot on people’s balconies.
5. Voyager-1 sends readable data again from deep space
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The US space agency says its Voyager-1 probe is once again sending usable information back to Earth after months of spouting gibberish.
The 46-year-old Nasa spacecraft is humanity's most distant object.
6. Missing cat found after 5 years makes 2,000-km journey home
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Five years after it ran out the door, a lost cat was returned to a couple in Nevada after it was found thousands of kilometres away. The couple are praising the cat’s microchip for helping reunite them.
7. Restoring sight is possible now with optogenetics
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Max Hodak's startup, Science, is developing gene therapy solutions to restore vision for individuals with macular degeneration and similar conditions. The Science Eye utilizes optogenetics, injecting opsins into the eye to enhance light sensitivity in retinal cells.
Clinical trials and advancements in optogenetics are showing promising results, with the potential to significantly improve vision for those affected by retinal diseases.
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That's it for this week :)
This newsletter will always be free. If you liked this post you can support me with a small kofi donation here:
Buy me a coffee ❤️
Also don’t forget to reblog this post with your friends.
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Angel is tactile. His many hands like to poke, hug, grab, pat. His long limbs entangle themselves in other people's personal space like pale branches. It used to drive him mad, it really did, when it came with jagged edges of aggressive, unwanted sexuality - made to attack, provoke, discomfort.
It's different now that they are friends.
Husk had thought that the constant touching would go away along with the relentless come-ons, but if anything it seemed to increase by the day: it was now rare not to have a long-fingered hand on his shoulder, a bony knee encroaching on his stool, or as of late the whole seven-feet fluffiness slumped gainst his side while bitching about another shit day at the studio. Husk would have put an end to it pretty quickly, nerves unused to familiarity and distrustful of it, If he hadn't seen Angel do the very same with Cherri. He thinks he understands at least the vague shape of Angel's want for touch that is free of… ties, obligations. Consequences. And Husk finds that he cannot deny him this, his own mild discomfort fading in the face of the reward. Especially when Angel is tipsy, happy, laughing in that loud and unfiltered way that shouldn't be as endearing as it is, talking about a million things at once. Never mind that the dancing fingers on his fur leave him with a strange buzzing under his skin. It's just him being a grumpy-ass old man that hasn't known any contact for decades, Husk can deal with that no problem. This kid deserves it, and Husk will gladly give it.
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space-matt · 2 months
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Could I request a Matt x reader.They have been dating for a while but the reader has never left that honey moon stage.One day Matt is not having a good day and the readers presence make him on edge.He ends up blowing up on her calling her overbearing and clingy.Things shift and she becomes more distant,for a while he feels ok but he starts to miss the relationship they way it was before.when he tries to talk to the reader she cries to him about the whole situation.He is really sorry and does his best to make it up to her.
I’ll make it up to you 
matt.sturniolo x fem.reader
summary: It's really true that you understand the value of things when you lose them.. Matt figured it out too late, but will he be able to make up for it?
request: yes 
author’s note: thank u so much for the request!! I hope you’ll enjoy it ♡ I added the song that helped me to write it. For everything I’m here!
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English is not my first language, if you see grammar and typing mistakes, I apologize in advance! I just ask you not to be rude to me ♡
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revised
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Still lying in bed you feel the heat coming from the window left half open in Matt’s room, with your eyes closed you stretch by turning to the other side meeting a boulder of a blanket, you reach out your hand in search of your favorite person but to your surprise, your hand leans on the mattress, so you open your eyes trying to focus and notice that half of the bed is empty.
You've been together for seven months and thirteen days now, and you have to say that they are the best months of your life; Having never had previous relationships, it can be said that Matt is your first true and actual relationship in your 20 years of life. 
Everything had started as a pure joke between you two to make fun of Chris and his girlfriend Maddy, but the more time passed, the more you began to feel real feelings towards the boy who unlike you had liked you for a long time, but for fear of being considered only and solely a friend, he wanted to avoid putting his heart in the foreground and listening to the rational part of his brain. 
But fate wanted that one evening while you were saying goodbye to go to your own house, the moment you were about to press a kiss against his cheek, Matt turned earlier than expected causing your lips to collide, making you immediately move away but when you stopped to look into his eyes you saw in both of them a spark to burst a breathless kiss.
It must be said, from that moment you have been together, indeed perhaps precisely because it is your first relationship that you try to always make everything go for the best unlike Matt who still had his first relationships during his adolescence that, however, according to him, ''they can't compete with you''. Of course, it scares you that sooner or later it may get bored or otherwise lose interest in you, but you still try to eliminate this thought and be the best girlfriend in the world. 
So you get out of bed by completely opening the window so that the room can change air, leaving the bed undone; Take your change in the drawer that Matt has free so that you can put some of your things when you stay at his house to sleep, and you head to the next bathroom without noticing who is in the open space connected by a small corridor to his room.
Meanwhile Matt was lying on the sofa, the TV turned on in the background, with the phone in his hand looking at the various social networks but his mind was elsewhere, indeed the day had started in the wrong direction.
All night you did nothing but stay attached to him not making him move, which didn't make him sleep a wink and that's why he was quite nervous.
His brothers were still in their respective rooms changing, as they would then be out all day under your precise instructions, as you wanted to spend a day entirely with Matt before leaving for spring break in two weeks. 
When Nick and Chris find themselves in the living room ready to go out, Matt pulls up his head ''Do we have any meetings today?'' He asks confused getting up and putting the phone in his pocket ''The two of us yes, you have the day off today.. enjoy it'' Chris replies with a grin on his face which vanishes when he hears a puff from him ''Wow I didn't expect all this enthusiasm '' exclaims ironic Nick going to the door of the house ''Please let me come with you, I need to disconnect, I need air'' Matt responds whispering so as not to be heard by you ''Sorry MattyB but no'' says Chris taking a can of Pepsi from the fridge and then he goes out too.
Another puff comes out of his lips knowing he has to stay with you all day, and resignedly throws himself back on the couch closing his eyes.
When he feels your steps approaching a sense of annoyance and nervousness pervades his body, he can't even understand the reason for all this but it's already been a couple of days that he just wants to have a moment for him, but with you in the middle it's almost completely impossible.
On the other hand, you do not notice anything different, perhaps because taken by too much love even the most obvious things go unnoticed by your eyes in the shape of a little heart. 
All happy you go to the kitchen take water pouring it into a glass, you notice Matt on the sofa, you leave the glass on the counter and go in his direction lowering yourself to his height ''Babe, let's go out for breakfast?'' you ask trying to caress his hair but at your touch, he moves by sitting down looking at you ''I can't, I have to go out'' he responds annoyed without even looking at you, leaving you a little surprised but doesn't give up trying with a ''Then when you come back we can go for a ride at Lake Hollywood Park, right?'' hopeful in one of his answers but the only thing he pronounces is a ''See you later'' without greeting you and leaving the house, leaving you standing in the middle of the living room. 
The hours go by and so does your enthusiasm, you start thinking about the worst situations in your mind, which do nothing but increase your paranoia;
Okay maybe you recognize that in the last period, you have always been with them but although it has been almost a year since you moved to Los Angeles, you have not been able to make many friends due to your armor that you tend to raise when it comes to new people. But with Nick, Chris, and Matt it's different, you've known them since you were little, and with them, there was never a need to create a wall to protect you, because they are your guardian angels.
You've always gotten along, except for a few quarrels which is normal, but you've never noticed before behaviors so distant from Matt, as if your presence wasn't welcome.
When you hear the door open you hope that your boyfriend's figure will come out of the stairs but you recognize the voices of Chris and Nick, you resign yourself completely on the couch with your pajamas and the tray of ice cream on your legs.
''Ookay... why are you at home? Didn't you have to go out?'' Nick asks looking at you confused ''By the way where is Matt?'' Keep looking around ''I have no idea'' you answer him in a subtle voice while you eat a spoonful of vanilla ice cream, you feel the tears stop at the corners of your eyes, so you don't see you turn your head on the other side putting the teaspoon in the tray ''He came out this morning and never came back, I tried to text him and call him a couple of times but I didn't receive an answer'' you keep whispering closing your eyes making the tears fall.
You feel the package of ice cream being removed from your legs and two arms that surround you, from the essence that envelops you, you recognize that is Chris and with your eyes still closed you abandon yourself in a liberating cry after holding it all day ''Shh, it's okay'' he whispers massaging your back ''You know that now and then he has its relapses and behaves like this'' he keeps trying to reassure you.
You pull up with your nose and detach yourself from his arms ''But with me, he had never behaved this way.. at all he always came to me'' you explain looking in his direction receiving almost an expression of pity on his face ''What do you say if we order something and watch a movie here all together? We will make you choose'' announces trying to cheer you up But on your part, he only receives a nod with your head.
Even though he had spent the whole day outside walking around the crowded streets of Santa Monica, his mind did nothing but think about the time to get home, the only thought of having you always stuck made him take his breath away, of course he cared you but this so much physical contact, at that time, was leading him to detach himself from everything, but especially from you.
That's why he had waited for a late time to come back, so as not to have to face you trying to postpone everything to the day of your departure. But you know how his thought works more than yourself, in this way after finishing watching your comfort movie together with the two boys, you decide not to go to sleep right away but to stay on the couch not being able to stay alone in bed without Matt by your side, with the knowledge of having done something wrong. 
The fact that there was no communication between the two of you was new, you have always been the anchor of each other, and not being it in a short time has completely upset you, especially not understanding how to act, and consequently how to find a solution. 
The silence that reigns in the house is broken by the noise of the keys that are inserted into the door patch, your heart begins to beat quickly but you remain motionless sitting with your gaze turned in his direction, while he tries to slowly climb the entrance stairs but when it reaches the last one, he stops seeing you pulling his eyes up ''you shouldn’t have waited up for me, there was no need'' he says changing towards the fridge taking a bottle of water but no longer being able to hold back your thoughts for you ''What have I done? It's all day that you avoid me indeed it's days that you behave strangely'' you blurt out getting up to get closer to him, and given your height difference you are forced to pull up your head to look him better in the eyes.
As you stand in front of Matt, you can feel the bitterness in his words cutting deep into your heart. "What did you do to me?" he asks, his voice laced with anger and frustration. "There's that you've become overbearing and clingy. I can't take it anymore. You're always sticky, I never have a free moment, and if I have it, you're always there" he exclaims with clenched teeth and a hard look.
His words strike you like a bolt of lightning, and you take a step back, not believing what you're hearing. "We weren't like that before, and now I understand why no one has ever wanted you" he adds with wickedness, making you feel small and insignificant.
You try to speak, but your voice catches in your throat. You know what you've been through, and you've always hoped that Matt would understand. But instead, he holds it against you, making you feel like an outcast.
"You're an asshole" you finally manage to say, raising your voice as tears slide down your face. It's not like you to use such harsh words, but you're hurt and angry, and you can't help it.
At that moment, Matt opens his eyes, and you can see the surprise and shock on his face. He had never heard you say such a thing to him. Among all people, it was always you who used a calm tone, even in the most difficult situations.
Seeing you rush into his room, he follows you around, but when he sees that you start to take your bags, he realizes that he has exaggerated. "What do you do?" he asks, trying to take your arm. But with all the anger that you had in your body, in very little, you wriggle from his grip. "Let go of me" you say in a dry tone.
"I'm not going to stay in the room with you anymore. I'll go to Nick's, and I'll bring all my stuff" you finish, closing the zip and dragging the bag on the ground. As you come out of his room, you find yourself facing the two guys who, from the screams, immediately catapulted to see what had happened.
As you ask Nick for help, you feel exhausted and drained from the situation at home. Without even turning to see him, his hand takes the bag from yours and you head up to the room with the older brother. In the distance, you hear Chris saying, "Dude you have already done too much damage, let her be."
Days pass by, but the situation at home remains the same.
After receiving some harsh words, you decide to build a wall between you and Matt and try to avoid being alone with him.
You attempt to behave like a mature person, spending more time with the two brothers and going out on your own when they can't accompany you.
Matt, on the other hand, feels good when you're not around. However, as time passes, guilt starts to creep in, and he realizes that he doesn't want to push away the one person who means the world to him.
He understands this even more when you don't even look at him at the airport and leave without a single glance. "Why did I do wrong to her?" he says to himself as he watches you go through security checks. "Because you're a jerk, that's why" answers Nick, watching him with a serious expression.
Although he regrets his actions, Matt is determined to make things right between you two. Without telling anyone, he packs his backpack with only the bare minimum and heads off to the other side of the country.
Spring break is coming to an end, and leaving your family and friends in Boston again feels like a stab in the heart. This time, it hurts even more because you know that once you get back, you'll have to fend for yourself completely, starting with finding an apartment.
You and your family were having a pleasant evening playing board games when you heard the doorbell ring. "Were you expecting someone?" you asked, moving your pawns on the board. "No, we weren't. Why don't you go and answer it?" your mother replied, gazing at you with a gentle expression. You got up from your spot, a little confused.
As you reached the door, you saw Matt standing outside with a bouquet of your favorite tulips and a puppet with the words <I'm stupid> written on it. The sight of the flowers made you smile, but you didn't let your guard down completely.
''Please, I have to talk to you''
"You have five minutes" you told him as you closed the door behind you and sat on the porch, keeping a distance. He handed you the flowers and the puppet, and you accepted them, putting the flowers next to you and holding the puppet in your hands.
"I'm sorry" he began, fiddling with your fingers. "I know I'm not good with words, but I realize now that I was wrong to say what I said.
I shouldn't have blamed you like that. I just wanted to talk to you and explain my side of things."
He paused, looking down, and when he looked up again, his eyes were watery. You felt your own eyes fill up with tears, too.
"I don't want to lose you" he said, touching your cheek. You closed your eyes and put your hand on his. "I was an asshole, but I understand that now that you're gone."
You spoke up, your voice barely above a whisper. "It was a low blow. You've never made me feel so small and helpless before. But I have to admit, I've been clingier than usual lately. That's just my way of showing you love, and if you don't like it, we can end it here."
"No way" he said, taking a step closer. "I flew over 2,500 miles to see you and tell you I love you more than anything. We just need to communicate better and make sure we're both happy. I'm here because I want to be and make it up to you." concludes by looking into your eyes '' I love you too... but please let's not hurt ourself anymore'' you leaned your forehead against his and felt his lips on yours in a gentle kiss.
When you pulled away, you grinned and grabbed the puppet. "Would you be him?" you asked, laughing together.
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