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space-matt · 15 days

Text

right person, wro- ight time

matt.sturniolo x fem.reader

summary: lifelong best friends, but with hidden feelings.

Can one night change everything?

request: yes -> anon

cw: use of y/n, angst, fluff (?), mention of sex

author’s note: hello everyone!!! Here I am back after a long time, but I wanted to take a break from writing.

At the moment some of my stories like ''Breaking promises'' are archived because I'm revising them and changing some things, if you want you can take a look here -> masterlist

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺

English is not my first language, if you see grammar and typing mistakes, I apologize in advance! I just ask you not to be rude to me ♡

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺

As you watch Matt and his girlfriend engage in a passionate display of affection on the couch, you can't help but feel a mix of emotions. Jealousy and anger course through your veins as you long to be the one in his arms. The scene before you seems like a cruel reminder of what you can't have.

You have known Matt, and his brothers Nick and Chris, for as long as you can remember. Your mom's close friendship brought the four of you together, and you've been inseparable ever since.

You've shared countless memories together, from taking warm baths as toddlers to navigating the ups and downs of adolescence.

Your feelings for Matt first emerged when you were just eight years old. While his siblings ran around and teased each other, he was the only one who pushed you on the swing, making you feel safe and cared for.

Or how that time in middle school he was next to you when coming out of the bathroom, he noticed a red spot on your butt and promptly gave you his sweatshirt to cover you up.

Over the years, your attachment to him only grew stronger, even as you had flings with other boys. You never acted on your feelings, though, afraid of ruining the strong bond you had built with him over the years.

Now, as you watch him with his girlfriend, you can't help but wonder what could have been if you had been brave enough to take a chance on love.

As you sit on a cushioned chair in the cozy kitchen, you turn towards the stove and place your phone on the wooden table, emitting a snort of frustration. Chris, who is equally exhausted by the ongoing show, rises from the couch and comes to hug you from behind, enveloping you in his strong arms.

"God, I can't stand them anymore," he whispers softly in your ear, his breath warm against your skin.

"Don't tell me" you reply, your eyes still fixated on the screen of your phone, as you use one hand to scroll through social media and the other to caress Chris's hand, which is resting on your chest.

At times, you find yourself wondering why your heart chose Matt over Chris, especially given that Nick is off-limits. Chris is so caring, kind, and affectionate with you that you have thought several times that he actually has feelings for you.

However, you try to suppress this thought because if it were true, you would disappoint his heart by telling him that the person you love is his brother.

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

As you lay on Nick's bed, you stare up at the ceiling, taking in the intricate patterns of the plasterwork. The guy sitting beside you is completely absorbed in editing the video that they plan to post later on that evening, with their headphones on and their eyes fixed on the computer screen.

Suddenly, a loud and jarring sound reverberates throughout the house, causing you to raise your eyebrows in confusion. You listen carefully, and a few seconds later, another door slams shut, confirming your suspicions that something is definitely wrong.

Your heart racing, you get up from the bed and begin to move cautiously towards the stairs, your senses heightened and your mind racing. As you make your way down to the living room, you can feel the tension in the air, and you can see that Chris is lying on the couch, his face contorted with concern.

You approach him and ask in a hushed voice, "Was that Matt making all that noise?"

He nods his head, his eyes meeting yours with surprise. "Yeah...apparently Perrie dumped him" he replies.

Your voice drops to a whisper as you consider this news, and you say, "Uhm...I'll go check on him..." You walk towards his room, feeling a sense of trepidation in the pit of your stomach. As you approach the door, you can hear the sound of muffled sobs coming from within, and you know that you need to go in and try to help him through this.

You stand outside Matt's door, knocking a few times, but receive no response. You call out to him, "Matt...it's me, please open up" and lean your forehead against the door. Only when you hear the lock click do you lower the handle and enter the darkened room.

As you step inside, the scene before you breaks your heart. Matt is lying on his stomach on the bed, his sobs echoing throughout the room. Without a second thought, you move to his side and embrace him, whispering "Shh...don't cry please, she doesn't deserve you" while gently caressing his back.

Through his tears, Matt manages to speak, "She...she's everything to me." A beam of moonlight enters the room, illuminating the bed you are sitting on, and you can't help but notice how red his otherwise clear eyes have become.

A spontaneous gesture starts from you as you take your sweatshirt sleeve to wipe away his tears. "Do you want to talk about it?" you ask, tilting your head to the side and taking his hand, offering your support and patience.

You couldn't help but feel a twinge of pain as you saw your close friend Matt in such a vulnerable state. His head was bowed, and his eyes were shut tight as he let out a deep sigh. You knew that he was going through a tough time in his relationship, and your heart went out to him.

Despite your sympathy for his situation, you found yourself thinking selfishly at that moment. Perhaps, you could finally have a chance with him. You pushed that thought aside, knowing that your emotions were taking over your rational side.

Matt looked up at you, and you could see the sadness in his eyes. He began to speak, but his words trailed off as he struggled to find the right ones. You squeezed his hand, urging him to continue.

"She says she wants to take some time to think, and... she doesn't know if she loves me like before" he finally managed to say, his voice trailing off again.

‘’Ow Matt.. I’m sorry’’ you reached out to him, stroking his cheek as he rested his head against yours. At that moment, time seemed to stand still as you gazed into each other's eyes. You could see the pain etched on his face, and it broke your heart.

As you sat together on the bed, bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight, your mind began to race with a million different scenarios. You wondered what the future held for you and him. As if in response to your thoughts, you saw Matt's figure approaching you, his gaze fixed on your lips.

''Matt what are you doing?’’ You ask when you find yourself an inch from his lips feeling your breaths grow heavier;

With a gesture, his lips rest on yours and you can't help but think how soft they are and how long you've been waiting for that moment.

The rest comes on its own: removed all distance remains you, lying on his bed sharing what to you was perfection, Love. To him, it was pure distraction, Sex.

At least that was what he thought at that particular instant.

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

You wake up to the sound of birds chirping and a few rays of sunshine coming in through the window, casting a warm glow on the room. As you turn your head to the other side of the bed, you notice that the mattress beside you is empty, and a sense of loneliness washes over you. Wrapped naked in the brown sheets, you feel a deep longing for the person who was lying next to you just a few hours ago.

You look around the room and see your clothes scattered on the floor, which reminds you of the events that took place the night before. You recall how you finally confessed your feelings for him, and you think he reciprocated them. It was like a turning point in your relationship, and you couldn't be more thrilled.

However, you don't want to arouse suspicion, so you quickly put on your clothes and quietly walk out the door. As you step into the open space, you notice his figure sitting with his head in his hands. You wonder if he's feeling the same as you.

You glance around and realize that the other two boys are still sleeping in their rooms, completely unaware of what happened between you and him last night.

As he senses someone's presence, he turns to see who it is. It's you, and you’re standing there motionless. You ask him what's going on, but he remains silent and instead, keeps looking at you. You remain in your position, unsure of what to do next.

Finally, he breaks the silence, "Y/n, we need to talk," his voice is low and serious. You understand that this is not going to be a simple conversation, and you head towards the sofa to sit down. He follows suit.

He stares at you for a moment, as if trying to find the right words. Finally, he says, "What happened between us can never happen again... it was a mistake." His words hit you hard and you feel like someone has just stabbed you in the heart.

The words < It was a mistake > echo in your head, and you can't believe what you're hearing. Your mind is racing with all sorts of thoughts and feelings.

Mistake

You feel tears welling up in your eyes, your nose burning, and your mouth becoming dry. It's as if a flood of emotions has suddenly been unleashed, and you can't control it. You try to hold yourself together, but it's too late, and you break down in tears.

You look at him with a mix of confusion and hope as you try to decipher what he is trying to say. "I thought that...I thought that you finally reciprocated my feelings and that...we were making love" you stammer, your heart sinking as you realize the truth.

He looks down, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry, y/n. I was confused, and you were there to comfort me. I didn't understand anything anymore" he says, his words heavy with regret. "I'm not in love with you, y/n, but with Perrie"

You feel like the ground has opened up beneath you. It's like the world has stopped spinning and you are trapped in an endless moment of pain. You want to disappear, to run away from this unbearable situation, but you are frozen in place.

You sit there on his couch, tears streaming down your face, as the anger slowly grows more and more. How could he lead you on like this? How could he use you like that?

"How can you say that to me now? Tonight, you didn't think that way when you were inside me, huh?" you say with all the hatred your body could muster at that moment. You get up without waiting for his answer, your mind racing with a million thoughts.

You go towards the front door, slipping on your shoes, and taking your jacket from the coat hanger. The spring breeze kicks in, causing you to clench the fabric covering your shoulders. You slip your hand into your pocket, pulling out your car keys, which you shortly use to lead you toward your home, pulling up with your nose.

You feel lost and confused, your heart shattered into a million pieces. All you can do is cry and wonder how you will ever be able to trust anyone again.

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

Since that fateful night, two weeks have passed and that feeling of having been just an afterthought only invades your body, and it becomes even heavier when sitting on the couch eating ice cream, you get a notification after days of silence

| Chris: | Wassup ‘ma!! Where have you been? Nick and I miss you :(

As you read his message, it felt like the weight of the world had come crashing down on you. You were slowly sinking into an almost hysterical cry. It was because you had decided to completely cut off all relations with Matt. And, as a result, you had also cut off your two best friends since they lived with him.

You had thought about meeting them outside, but your appearance would have aroused several questions, and declaring that you had sex with their brother would have definitely not been the response you wanted to give.

You lowered your gaze to your belly and started caressing it while tears streamed down your face. The worst thing was when you realized that you were five days late for your period. You panicked and ran to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test, and it came back positive.

| You: | Hi, sorry I've been busy with several things... I miss you too <3

A few minutes later your phone lights up again

| Chris: | Did you hear?

A confused expression appears on your face at his question

| You: | Heard what?

Those seconds seem to last minutes, those minutes hours as your anxiety surges.

| Chris: | That moron of Matt got back together with Perrie

Crack

That's what your heart does for the umpteenth time as more tears are released from your eyes that have now turned red.

Out of frustration, you throw the phone across the couch, but it bounces causing it to fall to the floor.

C r a c k

''Fuck'' you pronounce as you stand up to see the distasteful accomplishment. You pick up the phone and see that the screen is half shattered but still working ''Fuck'' you whisper thinking how life is so unfair to you.

| Chris: | Are you still there?

You try to recover by taking a deep breath

| You: | Yeah... sorry but I'm tired, I'm going to go to sleep. I love you.

You cut the conversation short not wanting to know further details

| Chris: | goodnight Love yaa 2

You sit on the couch, feeling overwhelmed with emotions. You close your eyes, trying to control the tears that are forming in your eyes. You take a deep breath, but the feeling in your chest only intensifies. You can't take it anymore, and you know what you have to do. It's something you've done before and something that comes naturally to you - you leave.

You get up from the couch, with a heavy heart, and head to your room. You grab your computer, returning to your comfortable seat, and immediately type into the search engine < flight from LAX to Boston >. You skim through the options, and click on the first website you see, noting that the earliest flight is the next morning. Without thinking about it, you buy a one-way ticket and book the cab that would pick you up.

Immediately after making the transition, you get up and return to your room. You take a deep breath and look around. You know you have a lot to do before you leave. You walk towards your closet and take out your huge suitcase. You begin to stuff all your clothes inside, carefully folding them and making sure everything fits.

You know that this is not going to be easy, but you're determined to leave everything behind and start fresh.

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

Over the past two months, you have received numerous messages and phone calls that you haven't responded to. Even Matt has tried to get in touch with you, but you decided to change your phone number to avoid any contact.

When you arrived your parents were somewhat surprised but very happy to see you. You always had a beautiful relationship with them, especially with your mom, your best friend. Although with some fear, you explained the whole situation to her including that you were pregnant with Matt.

The decision to keep him/her is not yet final but you know you have two shoulders to count on and that no matter what, they are there for you.

Slowly your belly begins to become more noticeable, and with the arrival of summer, it is almost inevitable to miss it.

''Darling are you ready? MaryLou and Jimmy are waiting for us'' you hear your mother calling you from downstairs.

You look at yourself in the mirror trying to fix your shirt as best as you can, and to hide the small bump ''Yeah I'm coming'' you reply picking up your bag and then going down the stairs and closing the door behind you heading for the car ''Here I am'' you announce to your parents sitting in the front seats.

The Fourth of July has always been celebrated with the Sturniolo family, between barbeques, swimming in the pool, laughter, and the company of little dog Trevor you have only good memories in your mind.

This year you accepted only because you heard that the three boys would not be there due to several setbacks.

The drive between your homes is fortunately short because nausea begins to set in, and even more so when after stepping out of the car you are invaded by a very strong smell of barbeque.

Immediately having hugged MaryLou and Jimmy, you notice how the house is decorated from top to bottom ''Wow MaryLou you did a great job this year'' you tell her smiling ''Oh don't thank me but those three in the garden, rather go to them, we'll take care of this'' she replies pointing outside

< Are they here? All three of them? Weren't they supposed to be on the other side of the United States? What do I do? Do I run away? Do I stay here? What the fuck do I do? >

Your conscience does nothing but have question after question. You look at your mother for help but she is so busy helping her friend that you see yourself forced to give a big sigh and head for the garden followed by Trev.

''Oh my gosh y/n where the fuck have you been?'' Nick exclaims as he gets up from his chair coming toward you wrapping his arms around you ''Why did you fucking disappear? Literally no fucking messages or fucking calls'' he pulls away looking you in the eye concerned but all you do is stand silent.

Matt and Chris are also standing but neither of them seems to have any idea of moving from their position. Matt still regrets how he behaved while Chris is disappointed and angry at you.

He still doesn't understand how out of all the people you could erase from your life you chose to add him;

And it is true, in the last few years a wonderful friendship has grown between you where Chris sees you as a reference point when his brothers become too annoying, you were and, despite everything, you are his rock.

''Sorry'' is the only thing you can utter looking away so as not to meet their gazes.

''Only sorry can you say? You are so selfish! You thought only of yourself abandoning everyone, you abandoned me'' Chris pronounces in a harsh tone approaching you, doing nothing but bringing tears to your eyes

''Say something, speak the fuck up. What do you have to say for yourself?'' Chris continues waving his arms in different directions leading you to take a step back ''Chris please you're scaring her'' Nick says hitting him on the arm ''I don't fucking care, I want to know why'' the smaller one replies to him always looking at you.

The tension in the air is palpable, and you feel a sense of helplessness wash over you as you try to explain your actions.

At that point Matt couldn't stand that situation anymore ''It's me'' he exclaims making everyone turn their gazes in his direction ''What you?'' Chris asks confused ''I'm the reason she ran away'' he says lowering his gaze ''And what about you? What the fuck happened?’’ Nick asks as he sits waiting for someone to speak, but silence reigns among you as you hear your parents' voices in the distance.

''Me and y/n had sex the day Perrie dumped me'' Matt pronounces in a whisper, almost not making himself heard ''Speak up motherfucker'' Chris says putting even more agitation on you ''Oh Jesus Christ me and Matt had sex, but it was just a one-night stand for him, which it wasn't for me since I'm madly in love with him. I thought by getting away from him and consequently from you, I wouldn't suffer but I feel like shit about it and even more since I found out I'm preg- '' you say all in one breath freezing as you realize you've told your little secret.

The silence between you and your friends seems to last forever, as you try to process what just came out of your mouth. "Are you pregnant?" Matt asks, approaching you. You nod, almost instinctively, bringing your hand to your belly.

"Why did you keep it to yourself, y/n? You know we'll always be there for you" Chris says, his tone softening, almost as if your revelation made him forget the months that passed without any interaction from you.

You try to explain, "I don't know...I was scared and I still am now. Besides, knowing that Matt was back with Perrie made me feel bad, so I did the only thing I could do: go back home." You sit down next to Nick, feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable.

Matt then reveals that he and Perrie are no longer together, and Nick and Chris decide to leave the two of you alone. Matt takes a chair and places it in front of you, his tone calm but agitated at the same time. "I know what I told you that morning and what I'm about to tell you sounds like nonsense, but..." He takes a deep breath before continuing, "After you left that morning, I felt like shit. I shouldn't have treated you that way and I shouldn't have made you feel like just a spare tire."

He pauses for a moment before continuing, "That night kept resonating in my mind, and I thought that getting back with Perrie would make me my old self again, but I couldn't. And I can't get your name out of my mind. I feel that these feelings I've always had I tried to bury and deny myself...but fuck y/n, I'm in love with you." His words enter your brain like a hypnotic spell, leaving you stunned and speechless.

''I was really hurt about it Matt...all these years hoping that one day you would look at me with different eyes but you only had them for other girls, to you I was just your best friend...'' you confess looking into his eyes

‘' I'm really sorry, if I could go back I would tell the me of 14 years to go to you and not to be afraid to say how I feel'' he says taking your hand in his while with the other he caresses your cheek

''I hate myself for making you feel this way all these years'' Matt says in a whisper, shifting his gaze from your eyes to your mouth.

''A little bit too but I love you so much'' you say making your lips meet in a passionate embrace, a rush of emotions floods over both of you. The weight of past regrets and missed opportunities seems to dissipate in that single moment. The tenderness in Matt's touch and the sincerity in his words have touched a deep part of your heart.

With your hands still intertwined, you take a deep breath, ready to embrace the future together, knowing that your love is strong enough to overcome any obstacles that may come your way.

--------------------------------------------------------

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