#cuz you can hear me sing along badly in all of them

[highkey-confused]

I’m literally so glad for all you people uploading videos of mcr shows where the audio is 50% screaming and singing along. Makes me feel better about the videos I take at live shows

#this is not meant to be condescending #I never really show my videos to anyone #cuz you can hear me sing along badly in all of them #not videos of mcr god I wish #but everything else #I see you and I love you

[tearsofgrace]

I Love Led Zeppelin

written for suptober 2020 day 11: rock and roll

word count: 3.1k tags: so much zeppelin, HAPPY ENDING, that’s right i wrote happy shit, angst, fluff, love confessions

also on archive!

“I want to know why you chose them,” Cas said petulantly.

Dean turned onto the highway and glanced at Cas. “I told you. They’re just the best Zepp songs.”

Cas just stared at him. And Dean stared right back. The angel wasn’t winning this one. Because if he started talking, it would all become too obvious.

As if giving him a damn mixtape wasn’t already obvious, he thought. He looked away. Not because he was letting Cas win, but because he hadn’t looked at the road in a while and getting in a car crash wasn’t in the cards for today.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, man.”

“What about this one?” Cas asked, and Dean stopped listening to the music. It had been Cas’ idea to listen to the mixtape, and after getting over his shock that Cas still had it, he agreed. He loved Zeppelin, what could go wrong?

“Ten Years Gone” was playing, and he pushed back a smile. He remembered choosing this one, listening to the lyrics, knowing how perfectly it fit. Robert Plant had written it for an old girlfriend who’d made him choose between music and her. And ten years later, he looked back on where he was.

It was stupid. God, he knew it was stupid. But he’d chosen it because Cas hadn’t chosen his music: Heaven. Cas had chosen them, and here they were, ten years later.

“I chose it because I like the chords,” he finally answered as the song came to an end.

“Oh,” Cas said.

The opening lines of “Ramble On” came on and Dean smiled. God, he loved Zeppelin. He and Sam didn’t listen to music enough in the car anymore. It brought back memories. The good memories from his childhood.

“Why did you add this one?” Cas sounded so serious, so sincere. And this one, this one Dean could answer. It wasn’t like some of the other songs on the tape.

“Kinda loved the Lord of the Rings imagery, but if you tell Sam you’re dead.” Cas laughed softly and Dean joined him. “And,” he took a breath, “I don’t know, it’s kinda like us, right? Like we have to keep going, no matter what evils we’re facing.”

“I like it,” Cas said quietly.

Dean reached over and turned it up, singing along dramatically because he knew Cas would get a kick out of it. Sam would have called him annoying, but not Cas. His friendship (friendship? That what you want Dean?) was so different with Cas.

When the song ended, and “Whole Lotta Love” came on, he almost reached over to shut it off. A blush rose in his cheeks as he remembered picking this one, confident Cas wouldn’t know what it was talking about, confident he’d never have to confront Cas about it. He remembered recording it, his mind drifting to Cas even as he tried to stop it.

He was lifting his hand to the skip button when Cas covered his hand and pushed it back to the seat. Dean hated how much he wished Cas’ hand would just stay there. But it didn’t. It never did.

“I wondered about this one,” Cas said thoughtfully. Dean gulped, keeping his eyes fixed on the road. “It’s very,” Cas paused, and he could feel his eyes boring into the side of his head. He was sure his cheeks were flaming. “Very aggressive,” he finally finished.

“Yeah, I guess it is.” He let his eyes flick quickly to Cas and immediately regretted it. He looked so innocent, so clueless, but Dean could see the slight smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. “C’mon, man it’s a great song,” he said, gluing his eyes back to the road.

“I thoroughly enjoy it.”

Dean gulped again, pictured Cas listening to it, hearing the lyrics. Then he squeezed his eyes shut and kept his lips firmly closed until the next song started.

The opening guitar line of “Stairway to Heaven” played and he immediately relaxed.

“Sam said you shouldn’t have picked this one. He said it was too overplayed,” Cas said before they were even thirty seconds into the song. And Dean almost ran them off the road right then.

“Sam knows about-” he cut himself off. No, that was too obvious. “Uh, why’d Sam say that?”

“I was listening to the song. And I told him you gave me a mixtape with your favorite Led Zeppelin songs and told him which song I was listening to. He said it isn’t even their best song.”

Shit. There wasn’t a chance in hell Sam didn’t know what giving someone a damn mixtape meant. At least Cas had been listening to “Stairway” but still. Dammit.

“He’s right,” he said, trying to control his voice. “It’s not their very best, but c’mon it’s a classic. I couldn’t just not add it. You have to admit, it’s a good song.”

“It’s my favorite on the tape,” Cas said.

Dean snorted. Of course it was. He wasn’t going to fault Cas for it, though. It was an amazing song. They let the song play out in silence, and Dean let himself let go. Just let it roll over him, let Cas’ presence steady him.

Next came “Kashmir,” which was another easy answer. It was a classic. But Dean always saw it as more than that. It was about the journey, not the destination, reaching for some distant horizon. That’s how he thought of his time with Cas. He got to enjoy the journey, even if they would never really reach the end, not the end he wanted anyway. It was gonna end bloody. One or both of them dead.

When “Going to California” started Dean smiled and went soft. John used to play this one after a really long hunt, and Dean hadn’t even learned the lyrics for years. He just loved the way it felt, the way everything weaved together and created a very specific feeling in him every time.

“I love this one,” Cas said quietly, as if to preserve the moment. “I like to think we can all get a fresh start.”

“Me too,” Dean answered. A fresh start. They’d had so many… way more than their fair share. But they still got more, still gave each other more, over and over. He didn’t know why Cas was even still with them, why he hadn’t turned tail and run ages ago. But he was glad for it.

“Black Dog” and “Travelling Riverside Blues” were next. He told Cas they were classics. Didn’t tell him that both of them were his mom’s favorites. Both of them were part of the reason she fell in love with John. Both of them made him think that maybe he could have something like that, even when he knew it wasn’t possible.

There were only a few songs left. And if Cas hadn’t figured it out already, these would make it painfully obvious that he chose these songs very specifically. That he chose them for Cas.

“Tangerine” started and he smiled. He loved how slow this one started, how sweet it was. He would never admit it out loud, but it was right up there with “Ramble On” and “Travelling Riverside Blues” for his favorite song.

He almost didn’t add it. Because it was so obvious. But also because it just wasn’t him and Cas. They would never have that sweet, innocent new love. There was so much baggage between them, so much to wade through before even finding a hint of love. But Dean knew it was there. If only brotherly on Cas’ side, it was there. And this song, this reminiscing on a sweet, beautiful relationship, it’s what he wanted with Cas. So sue him if he added it to the list.

“There’s a lot of love songs on this mixtape,” Cas noted. Dean glanced at him sharply, trying to gauge what he really meant. But with Cas, he always just said what he meant. There was very rarely a double meaning, a hint at something that wasn’t there.

“Yeah, there is,” he agreed, his breathing shallow. “Zeppelin has a lot of ‘em.” It wasn’t a lie… but Zepp also had plenty of non-love songs.

He almost sighed audibly when “Good Times Bad Times” came on next.

Cas didn’t have to ask at this point. He just stared at Dean until he answered the unspoken question.

“Chose this one cuz it’s our lives, ya know?” Dean ran his hands over the leather and glanced at the mile marker; they were just a few miles away from the town. Maybe they wouldn’t even make it to the end of the tape. “I mean, it’s mostly shit. But we have good times too.”

“We do,” Cas agreed seriously. And Dean allowed himself a small smile. He hated himself for loving that Cas had already listened to this start to finish multiple times, had kept it through multiple apocalypses, actually cared that Dean had taken the time to put it together. Because it didn’t mean the same thing to Cas. He wanted it to. But it didn’t.

There were only three songs left. They were as blindingly transparent as he could possibly be. And the fact they were on a homemade mixtape only added to it. But Cas… Cas wouldn’t understand.

“Fool in the Rain” was the beginning of the end. It wasn’t like it was one of Zepp’s most famous songs, but Dean had always loved it. It sounded almost idiotic on the surface, a lover waiting on the wrong block in the rain. But Dean had always seen it as more than that. Maybe he was being too deep… but, for one, there wasn’t anything in the song that suggested it was a man and a woman. And as a kid, he’d liked that. He liked to let it be whoever he wanted, let it represent whatever he needed. He wouldn’t get caught dead telling anyone else he’d even noticed that, but he’d always love the song because of that.

As he’d gotten older, he grew to love it even more. To him, it sounded like one sided love. Like someone who was waiting desperately for a sign that they would ever be loved back. But they were looking in the wrong place and they wouldn’t ever find it. As Robert Plant sang “My heart it sinks to the ground/And the storm that I thought would blow over/Clouds the light of the love that I found,” Dean resisted the urge to say something, to tell Cas, This is me. This is me because I’ll never have you.

“Why this one?” Cas prompted.

Dean cleared his throat. “Listen to his voice, dude. It’s amazing.”

He risked another glance at Cas, saw his eyes narrow and his head tilt, and knew he wasn’t satisfied with that answer. But it wasn’t like he could tell him the truth.

There were only two songs left. Two Dean had wanted to put on so badly that he couldn’t resist, no matter how obvious they were. He kept telling himself Cas wouldn’t even care enough to listen, much less to listen closely. Obviously that hadn’t worked.

Before he could turn off the music, claiming they were only five minutes out anyway, the soft vocal intro of “What Is and What Should Never Be” started.

Real smooth, Winchester, he thought. Putting a song about forbidden romance on a mixtape for your best friend.

“I understand this one,” Cas said.

Dean blinked and focused on the road, searching for the sign that would take them to the motel.

“You what?”

“I understand it. I don’t understand why you included it, but I understand it. Sometimes love just isn’t meant to be. Sometimes it isn’t possible, no matter how beautiful, how perfect it is.”

Dean nodded slowly. Was there someone in Cas’ past life he didn’t know about? Or even worse, someone he knew right now?

He didn’t respond to Cas. He didn’t know what to say.

They pulled into the motel as the final note played and Dean turned off the car, shutting off the music with it.

“What about the last song?” Cas asked.

Dean’s heart rate picked up and he felt his ears burning hot. He’d put it last. Maybe in hope that Cas wouldn’t get to it, or maybe because it perfectly closed what he was trying to say. What he felt.

“We, um,” he took a deep breath and let it out. “We have to check in, buddy, it’s late.”

“I want to listen to it, Dean,” Cas said, fixing him with those intense blue eyes. And really, no one could say no to that.

Dean restarted the car, trying to let the pleasant hum of Baby’s motor calm him down.

If the sun refused to shine I would still be loving you

The opening lines played through the speakers and Dean stopped himself from cursing loudly. He was fucked. He couldn’t sit in this car, with Cas, and pretend like this meant nothing. Like this was just another song that he really liked.

When mountains crumble to the sea There will still be you and me

He tried not to let his mind drift. Tried to ignore how silent Cas had gone. Tried not to think of those words the angel had spoken in the bunker so long ago. “Everyone you know, everyone you love... they could be long dead. Everyone except me. I'm the one who will have to watch you murder the world. So if there's even a small chance that we can save you, I won't let you walk out of this room.” Cas would have stayed with him, even while he burned the world to the ground under the influence of the mark.

Dean took a deep breath and anxiously ran a hand through his hair.

Kind woman, I give you my all Kind woman, nothing more.

Cas shifted slightly next to him, but he didn’t dare look up.

Little drops of rain whisper of the pain Tears of loves lost in the days gone by My love is strong, with you there is no wrong Together we shall go until we die My, my, my inspiration is what you are to me Inspiration look, see

So much pain. There was so much pain between them. It swirled and came to life whenever they spoke. But it didn’t matter, because Dean was never leaving Cas. He knew that now. He couldn’t do it without him.

As the guitar interlude played, he tried to calm down. To fight the panic climbing in his throat. This whole thing had been a bad idea. He should have never made the damn tape in the first place. His breathing slowed a little when the vocals came back. He could do this.

And so today, my world it smiles Your hand in mine, we walk the miles Thanks to you it will be done For you to me are the only one Happiness, no more be sad Happiness, I'm glad

The image was so clear in his mind. Him and Cas walked down an asphalt road, hand in hand, the sun in front of them and their troubles behind them. He would never have it, but it didn’t matter. He still owed Cas all his happiness, owed him his life, owed him everything. And he still never said thank you.

If the sun refused to shine I would still be loving you Mountains crumble to the sea There will still be you and me

Dean took a deep breath and looked at Cas. There was still almost a minute of instrumental in the song. It would be so easy, just to say that he liked the song. Or that it reminded him of someone. Or that he thought Cas would enjoy the sound of it.

Then Cas spoke, and he realized the angel’s eyes were wide and his lips were turned up in a smile. “Dean, please don’t lie to me. Why this one?”

He didn’t answer at first. He knew Cas would wait, and he did. They listened to the end of the song, and then the car went quiet. Dean turned the engine off and fiddled with the keys in his lap before looking back into Cas’ eyes.

“I guess,” he breathed in. He could do this. Why not? He couldn’t fuck things up with Cas more than he already had. He’d beaten him, nearly killed him, left him when he was vulnerable, yelled at him, taken him for granted. And yet, here he was. Right by Dean’s side, fighting to save the world again. “I guess I’m trying to say thank you, Cas. For sticking with us.”

Cas’ smile grew just a little, almost showing his teeth, and he held Dean’s eyes, as if waiting for him to go on. And Dean was going to leave it there, he really was. But for some reason, maybe the safety of Baby, maybe the soft way Cas was watching him, maybe the quiet begging to be filled, he went on. “I don’t want you to leave again. I don’t want to leave you. If we- If we beat God, then I still want you to stay. We take you for granted- I take you for granted. I know that. But I just- I want you here. I need you here.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” he said quietly, reaching for the door handle.

“Dean,” Cas said firmly. Dean paused and looked up, his heart pounding heavily in his chest. “I love you.”

His eyes widened and his thoughts swirled. He was dreaming, he had to be dreaming. Or this was a trick, someone was possessing Cas, someone was hurting him, someone was-

“It’s me, Dean.” And everything else melted away. It was Cas sitting next to him. Cas who had just spent an hour listening to Led Zeppelin with him. Cas who wasn’t leaving. Cas who had told him he loved him.

“I love you too,” he said. And it didn’t matter that Cas had just told him he loved him. Didn’t matter that Cas made him feel so safe. Didn’t matter that in spite of everything--all his doubts, all his fuckups, all his anger--he actually believed Cas wasn’t lying. He was still terrified.

Then Cas leaned across the seat and pressed their lips together, and he stopped thinking. He kissed him back gently, reveling in the taste, the softness, the electricity.

When they pulled away, he laughed softly and grinned sheepishly at the angel. Then he ejected the tape from the car and handed it to him before pressing another kiss against his lips. There were a million things he wanted to say, to explain, but there was only really one that fit.

“Thank you.”

tag list {ask to be added or removed!}:

@fandomstuff67 @menjiiii @witchyanaels @starlightcastiel @chaoticdean @larryforeveralways @samhainsam @ghostsforcas @tlakhtwritesdestiel @wanderingcas @hallowena @spooky-things-do-happen-dean @jayus-fandom-writer @cas-you-assbutt-dean-needs-you @starrynightdeancas @radiantdean @piemaker-from-gallifrey @on-a-bender @eshaninjer

#suptober20 #these are the songs on the mixtape don't fight me #long post #destiel fluff #happy ending #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfic #spn fan fiction #destiel fanfic #deancas fic #destiel fic #destiel ficlet #my writing

[kaebedom-me]

Poly ch💙ya + a little bit of Ch💙ya? Idk

I'm,, big sads today so,, we're gonna do some self indulgent headcanons umu Oh, It's gonna be like real scattered cuz brain not fine

Also this is kinda like a dark AU or smth idk I'm in my feels. Update: this was kinda dark and nasty. PLEASE READ WITH DISCRETION

Cw: mentions of alcohol, drugs, and blood, dd/lg, gun kink(?), pee??, mentions of cheating/NTR

Disclaimer: this headcanon is no way in any shape or form promoting alcohol, drugs, and/or violence. Stay the fuck away from drugs and violence, drink alcohol in moderation when you're of legal age.

I'm like in my feels rn and-

Kaeya getting drunk and high is kinda lowkey hot

Like sloppy make out sessions where you're numb to the world but yet strangely hyper aware of the slide of his tongue against yours oof

Childe when he wants to be numb to the world beats people up or gets his ass beaten

Something about feeling of warm blood against his aching knuckles just really takes his brain away from thinking thoughts

Alternatively them looking at you worriedly with a little bit of like disappoint when you turn to alcohol or drugs to get your mind off things

Your high/drunk ass crawling over to them, numb but not completely gone and-

Drugged sex? High sex?

It's like slow and heaty. A lot of unspoken emotional tension oof

Like idk dudes but i think that shit sounds hoT

I want them to look at me disappointingly and seduce them into bedding me

Because them fucking away your feelings, emotions, your thoughts just turning your brain into mush, or like completely numbing you mwah [chef's kiss]

And they won't deny you for too long because they know you're trying to cope so for now they'll just go along with you

Will absolutely keep everything in check doesn't want anything to happen to you

After that, when you're ready, they're there to talk to you and help you with whatever you're trying to go through

And also find a better coping mechanism cuz this shit ain't healthy

I also,,,

I just,,, really want to call them daddy ya know AAHAHA

Kaeya would be into it, not by the idea of being a daddy? More of a power play thing

Like he gets off to you submitting to him that's why he gets off of daddy

Biggest fucking tease about it if you initiate it?

"oh? What was that, baby? You repeat that a little louder? You're so dirty"

But if you don't initiate it he'll try to get you to do it? It's just something he wants to try lol

Asks you to call him daddy and you're like bashful "ew what no" and he'll go on fucking you when you're at your peak he stops

"say the magic word and I'll reward you, baby"

You can deny him but you'll deny yourself orgasms

If you get off from begging him like calling him daddy then he'd really get off too

"you like that, baby? Calling out daddy so lewdly, are you feeling good, huh? Does daddy make you feel good"

Childe isn't as into it methinks uwu

Like I'm not,,, I'm not a father yet?

BUT HE COULD BE

I think he's real into daddy because of the aspect of being a daddy? I think. That's the vibes he gives off

Like you gotta kinda put it in his brain the whole daddy thing and he'd get real into it

It's ok tho Kaeya can help uwu

"do you want my babies that badly, darling? What exactly are you getting off of, hm?"

I think once he gets into the right head space there's no turning back like he really gets into it

Loves hearing muffled reiteration of it? Whether he's stuffing your mouth full of cock, his fingers, gags anything. You calling, or trying, to call him daddy makes his cock throb

Because to him it's like you being needy and he thinks it's adorable when you're so needy and basically mush for him

A little bit of Chaeya because they bring me great comfort and i had this idea for awhile now

Like them using each other for sex and realising tension

But realising after awhile that they've fallen for each other? [chef's kiss] maybe after dating someone else they have a little light bulb moment when they see each other at a club w someone else-

Dumps their partner or not (depends if I'm feeling the NTR)

And goes to fuck the sense out of each other and they start like dating hot shit

I fucking hate people who smokes but the thought of Kaeya smoking

Him blowing smoke into your face when you're negotiating something? Or like idk????

Like the sexual tension????

Him having one of those fancy kiseru pipes, lounging on a chaise, with like a velvet robe that's exposing his chest

I'd simply get on my knees and let him face fuck me

Speaking of NTR Chaeya not dating but being FWBs even though they're dating other people because they just vibe with each other's sexual chemistry,,, i love it

Someone on twitter once drew a mermaid Chaeya AU and I have not be able to get that out of my brain since

Like marine biologist or sailor or obsessed w the ocean Childe and mermaid Kaeya-

Mermaid Kaeya............

And childe does eyE-

Anyway mermaid Kaeya being cute because wtf is human thing bring it to me

I want Childe to fuck me with a gun. I just thought about it, and i have brainworms now

Knowing him he will refuse to put bullets in there but will not tell you

You're almost at your orgasm as he's fucking you with what you think is a loaded gun, you're begging him to touch you anything and he fucking shoots

You're squirting all over the gun and his arm, he's laughing at what a slut you are for danger. Gods, i think that'll be the hottest and best fucking orgasm you'll ever have

If you're so scared, you kinda pee yourself a little. Childe will humiliate you, it'll be the Worst for you but it's so fucking hot to him

Kk but like

I really like the idea or Chaeya being fucking morons together doing stupid shit like yeeting each other across an empty parking lot on like a shopping cart

Them laughing and singing dumb pop songs like maniacs without a care in the world

AAH my heARt

#This just gets progressively worse #Be warned #If chaeya not canon #Why ice and abyss mage so fucking ANNOYING TO FACE #Hm? #childe x reader #childe #kaeya x reader #kaeya #a little bit spicy #Slight not sfw #Tartaglia #Tartaglia x reader #Shanna writes #I fckeD UP THE TAG #Let me try again #Why ice and water abyss mage so FUCKING ANNOYING TO FACE

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #414

“mirror, mirror, tell me who you see  /  am i you or me?  /  i can never remember”

How many people have you kissed? Four. Ever kissed someone you weren’t dating at the time? No. Of the people you’ve kissed, how many do you regret kissing? Two. Ever been kissed by a legal adult when you were a minor (or vise-versa)? Yeah, with Jason, but it was only a two-year difference. Ever kissed someone on a dare/as part of a game? No. Where’s the most public place you’ve ever made out with someone? Nowhere public. I wouldn't do that. Can you snowboard? Never tried. Have you ever made a mixed cd for someone? No. Do you use recycle bins at your house? Yes. Do you own more than one bathing suit? No. Have you ever kissed someone who smokes weed? Jason did occasionally with his best friend, but he stopped for me. How are you right this second? I'm all right. Last night was pretty rough, so I'm just glad that's over. My body is just tired. Is there anything you disliked about your last birthday? Honestly, I barely remember what I did on my last birthday. I just remember it was fine. Oh wait, actually, on the way home from going out to eat, we had to call the cops while behind a car whose driver was obviously drunk or high OFF. HIS. ASS. He was swerving like crazy and almost hit SO many cars. I was having an absolute panic attack. I pray to God that guy was more than just found and fined. Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)? No, unless you count surveys, I guess. What were you like a year ago? I was the unhappily the same. Is someone on your mind right now? Fucking always. Having a warm dream about him last night didn't help. Who was the last person you sat next to? My mom. What do you currently hear right now? My screen is split so I can watch John Wolfe play some indie horror games. What’s something you need to go shopping for? I need to get new bras baaaadly because I'm tired of none fitting properly. What’s the last thing you ate? I had a donut 'cuz Mom stopped at Dunkin' for coffee. Do/did you do good in school? I did up to college. Then I just... sucked. Do you always get along with your siblings? I mean I don't see/talk to them every day or anything, not even very regularly even, but we generally get along fine now as adults. We disagree about shit for sure, but keep our mouths shut. Or probably talk to Mom about it while I'm not present. I don't even think they like me half of the time. Are you frustrated with anything? So much. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? There were/are a lot of factors. Just she as a person is phenomenal. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Can you speak in a different language conversationally; if so, which language? A tiny bit of German. Do you ever fear of falling asleep? With my nightmares, I used to dread it. Now, thankfully, my APAP mask has prevented them from happening, mostly; I've only had two in the month that I've had it, and I ordinarily had them every single night. Do you have an idea of what kind of profession you’d like to have? I do, but I honestly doubt I'm going to succeed in even making it a part-time job by this damn point. Which beach would you say is your favorite? I don't have a favorite. I don't even like the beach very much. What kind of cookie is your favorite? Chocolate chip. Have you ever had a churro? Yes. Too crunchy and ridiculously sweet, not a fan. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? A good personality beats good looks any day. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually didn't take chemistry; my graduating year, physical science was offered as the alternative, which I took. How does alcohol affect you? I get hot, and my face flushes badly. It'll make me more talkative. Have you ever tried lemon brownies? No, and I don't want to. I don't like lemon-flavored stuff like that. What was the last type of meat you ate? Beef. Have you taken any medication today? I have prescriptions I take every day. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? I've seen some of it at Sara's house. What is your favourite kind of pasta? Just spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs, really. I've been on a major chicken pesto kick lately, though. Have you set an alarm today? No. Think of a random person, and give them a message here, no names: Literally just the chance to say "I'm sorry" would be fucking amazing. Just two fucking words. What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble? No. That'd be a waste of space, though. Not like I'm contributing much to society. Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone? I dunno man, it depends on my mood and what I want in the moment. Do you watch movies with the subtitles on? No; I find it to be distracting. Is the last person you kissed yours? I hate this saying. She's her own person that belongs to nobody but herself. But to just go along with it and answer the question, no, we're not together. Do you think you will be married by the time you are 25? Welp, I'm halfway through 25, so. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? All of my siblings are. Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong? No. Especially as I've aged, I'd say I'm pretty quick to accept if I've fucked up. Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally? Jason will probably always have that power, even if he's not in my life. Would you ever be a stripper? God no, nobody wants to see that. What are your plans for tomorrow? Just get through the day, man. Do you owe anybody money? No. How would your parents describe you? Reserved, shy, a deep thinker, animal lover, uhhhh... What is the most you have ever weighed? Let's not. Would you ever work at McDonald's? No. I'm never working in food service. If you aren't already, would you go vegetarian or vegan? I want to be a vegetarian and being a vegan would be perfectly ideal for me, but I really don't think I can healthily accomplish either. I am FAR too picky to where I'd almost definitely become malnourished. To make it even worse I absolutely cannot "suck it up" if I don't like a food, so it's not like I could choke down stuff I don't like. Not to mention I'd be pretty sad without any yummy food to look forward to, aha. Coolest person you've ever met? Uhhhh I don't know. Do you wear boxers? No. Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I don't remember. Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would absolutely love to. Did you see Paranormal Activity 2? I think I've seen all of the movies. I liked them, given paranormal horror films are probably my fave. What would you do if an old man grabbed your ass? Kick him in the fucking balls so goddamn fast and probably slap him across the face at the same time. Probably cry later from feeling violated and having my fear of men aggravated. Do you like moustaches? It depends on the person, but I'd say I generally prefer an attached beard and a mustache versus JUST a mustache. Could you hack into someone's computer if you tried hard enough? No. I have no idea how to do that. Have you ever smoked a cigar? No. Do you go out on Black Friday? Hell no. NOT worth fighting people for deals. Do you have curtains in your bedroom? No; I have those blinds that you can close upwards or downwards. Did you like the Spice Girls when you were little? Yeah, I did. Can you sing the entire Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song? I think I can. Do you get heartburn? I'm literally on an antacid prescription, or else I get insane heartburn every day. Are you scared of elevators? To a moderate degree, yes. I'm terrified of it getting stuck. Have you ever seen a dead body in person? Yes, at an open-casket wake. Have you ever seen The Goonies? I have. If you're white, do you ever wish you were black? Or vice versa? I'm fine being Caucasian, but ultimately don't care. Do you bake cookies all the time around Christmas? I don't bake. Do you like your hair pulled? Uhhh... I'm assuming you mean this in a suggestive context, in which case no. Never pull my hair, actually. What kind of jeans do you like? Ripped skinny jeans. What do you think is overrated? Who really cares. Let people enjoy what they enjoy. And what are your goals for the remainder of this year? Lose lots of weight, find a job, get back into old hobbies and develop new ones... Name a city that starts with A in your state/province etc. Asheboro. Name a landmark that starts with M in your state/province etc. I'm blanking right now. When was the last time you gave a horse a carrot? Been years. I think I've only done that once, and I can't even remember where it was. Have you ever had to shovel snow? No. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? MM was just revived for its fifth season! :') Where would you most like to go in your state, etc. that you haven’t been? NC actually has this really old Wizard of Oz theme park! It's on the other end of the state, though, and NC is one wiiiiiide state. What was the last bird you saw? A robin, I think. What color was the last thing you drank? Green. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Besides insects, no. Well wait, scratch that, once or twice we had a small mice problem when we lived in the woods. What’s the name of the bookstores in your city? The only one I know off the top of my head is Books-a-Million. Where do your parents live? I live with my mom, and Dad lives in the same city as us. Have you ever seen or touched an iceberg? No, but that would be cool. What colour are your father’s eyes? Brown. If your ex turned up on your doorstep now, with nowhere else to go, would you let him/her stay? Well one, this isn't my house, so I can't make that decision. My mom being who she is though, she'd let pretty much anyone stay the night. If it was Sara, Mom would let her stay as long as she needed. The last time you cried, was it connected with someone of the opposite sex? Ugh, yes. My PTSD was BAD last night. Delicious warm brownies or a giant cookie? I'll take the brownie. Have you visited a haunted building or area before? No, but damn I'd love to. Have you been to North Carolina? Ayyyyeeeee that's my home.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''disguise'' by motionless in white

[yor-soverenyi]

Writing sample cuz why not

It wasn’t long after he turned to walk down that hall that he felt her draping herself around him, nearly being dragged along. He didn’t falter in his steps, he didn’t shrug or toss her off, just continued along with a steady gait and a roll of his eyes. So a human was hanging off of him, how foolish she was. Had other Grisha been around to see they would have knocked her off out of disrespect alone, or jealousy. Regardless, it was a harmless gesture and if she wanted to hang off the Darkling then so be it. She was far from home, she didn’t understand a thing about the way things worked over in Ravka and if she kept it up she had a greater chance that she’d be dead by the hands of some other Grisha than by his own. 

His eyes squint at the whispers in his ears. What exactly did others call him around here? Kirigan. Darkling. Never his true name. “When most speak of me I assume they call me the Darkling, when they speak to me however, those who show respect address me as moi Soverenyi.” He drops the hint by putting emphasis on the word respect. Would she address a king that was not her own? He didn’t expect it but she could be full of surprises.

King. She was right about that. He may be King of the Grisha but he wanted to be King of Ravka and he may as well be. He is second in command of Ravka as it is, just below the King himself. The human King that was too lazy to lift a finger to rule, riding off the back of the Darkling just like dear Whilhelmina. Though she was the far lighter weight to bear. When he came to pause by the door he glanced at her wrist. “Going off the fact that most people around here wouldn’t dare to raise a hand against me I would say that it’s an uncommon occurrence.” 

He lingers near the doorway as she takes in her new surroundings, avoiding looking directly at her aside from when she asked what was wrong. That warranted a quick flash of his eyes. What was wrong? That this was just another thing like so many that came before her, someone that wanted something from him and was deciding to be coy about it. It was someone planning to take from him, someone planning to make him look bad, someone trying to kill him. She could be any of those things and it wouldn’t be the first time for any of them. What did all those things have in common at the root? Betrayal. He hated that most of all. 

No one was legitimate anymore, no one was sincere and that above all was very disappointing.  He knew for a fact this Ketterdam girl didn’t travel from Kerch just to write a nice little article about the Darkling. He was betting that she wanted something from him, he just didn’t know what. He hums in response to her question, it was far too much to explain but if he had to narrow it down as to why his mood was worsening by the moment, it was because he could tell she was not being herself. She was not bearing herself to him, and why should she?

Lucky for him she couldn’t keep her mouth shut long enough for him to have to worry about forming a response. That dark gaze lingers upon her as she saunters closer to him, so daringly close. He listens, allowing her to speak all that she wants. An arch of a brow when she thinks he was disgusted by her close, a hint of a smirk when she suggests that he’d want her to run the city naked. It was rather amusing until she got to the point where she compared him to her brother, to not caring about those beneath him. His lip curls just a hint but he keeps his calm for now, allowing her to finish. 

He hoped so badly that she would reveal her true intention for being her yet even if what he heard next was true he knew it was not the all. Still he listened with baited breath, hoping she would reveal that which he would come to learn if she did not. He was not surprised to hear that he made her heart race, to hear how badly she wanted to kiss him. It was the same thing over and over and over again and it was damn disappointing. He couldn’t hide that, the way he sighs into the room as she backs away and wanders back towards the bed. He should have just slipped out then, shut the door and left her to her business...instead he pulls the door shut and moves in closer to her, following her drifting steps across the room. 

“You don’t know the first thing about me.” His tone was close to a snarl, yet not quite. He grabs her arm but this time it’s to turn her to face him and not hard enough to hurt or bruise. “And I’m still convinced that I don’t know the first thing about you. I don’t look down upon all who are beneath me because the truth is ‘everyone’ is beneath me.” He wasn’t being arrogant or vain. The way he said that sounded like he was disappointed by that fact. 

“I may be the most powerful Grisha in this world but it doesn’t mean I look down upon the rest, that I don’t care about them. I do everything in my power to protect them. Everything! - To right the wrongs that they have endured over countless years. How they have suffered at the hands of humans, been killed - “ He shakes his head. “Are ‘being’ killed for being different. Because no one wants to take the time to understand. Being traded as slaves or entertainment because our powers are useful to ‘them’, something to be gawked at. Or worse, being experimented on, torn apart because they want to know exactly..how..we...work.” His tone had dived darker, each word slowly played out on his lips. His eyes fading even darker if that were at all possible. 

“If I look down upon anything it is those humans who support all of the above, who support that we are unnatural and don’t belong. Those that would love to see us gone. Yes, I look down upon ‘them’ because I have to protect those who cannot protect themselves against the madness. And from them I demand respect!” He let’s her go, turning quickly to stand with his back to her. He remembers how he suffered from being different when he was just a boy, how he still suffers because even amongst the Grisha no one is like him. No one knows his power. He is completely alone. 

“There is nothing I value more than honesty, then someone who isn’t afraid to lay it all out there regardless of their intention. Whatever it is you won’t tell me I can promise you I’ve seen it all. Here to murder me?” He laughs. “Get in line with the hundreds of others before you. Here to steal from me? I’m just ‘yawning’ at the thought.” He turns to face her once again. Luckily, he was just throwing out whatever he could think of, no matter how it may have made her heart jump when he first mentioned murder.

“Or are you just here to use me? You need my power for something, you need something done for you. Like the very King uses me, uses me to do all of ‘his’ work in this court. To carry out the plans, to strengthen our armies to hide behind ‘my’ power like all others do.” He narrows his eyes at her. “I admire someone who isn’t afraid to tell me exactly what they want with me, because I’ve not yet come across one who hasn’t played games. I’ve been betrayed countless times, so what is once more? Tell me. Save me the disappointment in even thinking that you could be different than all the others. Because until you can show me you are not like them….” Not it was his turn to lean close, his breath heated against her lips as he hovered his own just out of reach. “Unless you are not like the others, you will never deserve to kiss my lips.” He lingers there a moment then suddenly steps back. “I’m tired of everyone’s games. Hope is something that I crave to no end.” He starts to head for the door. “Write your article, sing my praise...it won’t mask what you want underneath it all.” He drags his fingers across the door as he glides past it.

“I’ll be back with your light soon.” He was already gone, it was his voice that drifted from the shadows in promise of her light that he’d return with in moments of time. 

#Sample #Darkling #Grishaverse RP

[eerythingisshaka]

Always

[Yahya Abdul-Mateen II & Reader]

Word Count: 3k

A/N:  I was reminded of a music video that captivated me when I was younger.  This dude named Paolo Nutini made a song called Candy and the video followed a wedding from party to the couples night.  So I got inspired to do this fluffy angsty thing.

“And welcome to the floor, Mr. and Mrs. Abdul-Mateen!!”

Your loved ones explode in cheers and applause as you and Yahya enter hand in hand into the hall.  Spotlights find you both, making you shield your eyes but your giddiness could not be quelled by anything at that moment.  You feel Yahya’s hand squeeze yours tighter, and you see him smiling wide down at you.

The crowd is still raucous but all other sounds mute as you see his lips move to say,  “You ready, baby?”

Your cheeks ache with happiness as he takes you by your waist and lands a smooch on you that nearly knocks you off your feet.  He even had the nerve to get sloppy with tongue which you knew was all for show because sloppy is not a part of his vocabulary.

“Alright bride and groom, come over to the table of honor so we can get toasts started!”  Your cousin you hired as emcee instructs over the intercom to break up the PDA.

Yahya pulls away, wiping his mouth and faking embarrassment as he leads you by the hand to your throne at the head of the main table.

Seeing the smiling faces of your whole family fills your heart as you take your seats.  Feeling your eyes well up, you pull the folded napkin off your plate to carefully blot the tears away.

Yahya lays an arm across your shoulders whispering in your ear, “You alright?”

You nod wordlessly, patting his leg for confirmation.  

“Aww, aren’t they the cutest couple everyone!  We haven’t even gotten to the speeches yet and you’re bawling.  Girl don’t mess up my beat on you!”  Your cousin had also helped with your makeup last minute when the artist arrived an hour and 17 minutes late (you kept count).

You wave your napkin at her to continue as Yahya popped the champagne bottle chilled in front of you, causing yet another whoop from your families.  Yahya fist pumps as he pours it expertly into yours and his glasses.  Your cousin continues the evening with a musical selection and eventually toasts.

Both sides of your families seemed to have their fair share of comedians.  

“It’s about time someone made an honest man out of him!  And the fact he doesn’t mind that you’re cuter than him, sends me!”  his sister guffaws with the crowd at this crack.

Yahya just shrugs, holding you close next to him.

“It’s true!”  You say under your breath.

“You may be cuter, but I still beat you in fashion, hands down,” he retorts.

You sit up and point to yourself.  “My titties are SITTING.  This hair?  LAID.  My dress?  EXPENSIVE and DESIGNER.”

Yahya rolls his eyes.  “See what you did?  Talk.  While my fit speaks for itself.”

You pick up your champagne glass and level it right under his nose.  “Negro, I have half a mind to toss this drink in your face.”

Yahya grabs his glass, wrapping his arm through yours to take a drink while tipping the bottom of yours toward your mouth.

“And that concludes our toasts!  To the happy couple!”  

You peer at him as he winks at you, taking a slow sip.  Eventually you both take a bow and are ushered over to take pictures in the garden area as the DJ spins and the buffet is opened.

The mid afternoon sun was gorgeous against the lush greenery of the environment.

“You still want to take pictures with me?  Since I can’t dress worth a damn,”  you say in a pitiful tone.

Yahya waves at the photographer.  “What’re you talking about?”

You kiss your teeth.  “How quickly you forget.  Can’t wait to celebrate our anniversary with that memory of yours.”

The photographer greets you both.  “Congrats guys.  You both look splendid and beautiful and so in love, I could just add you to my Netflix list.”

“Thank you.  Where do you want us?”  Yahya asks.

The photographer points toward an archway that looks like heaven’s light is misting through it.  As you both walk hand in hand up to it, you put on the funk extra hard.

“Now don’t forget to smile real big for me guys.  Really revel in the love!”

Yahya and you both smile for some traditional shots, your impatience ticking up with each click of the shutter.  The photographer directs you to look at each other and Yahya wraps his arms around your waist as you wrap your around his neck.

“Perfect guys, even got the ring glowing,” the photographer says.

Yahya looks at you with mischievous eyes and an expression like he is holding back a laugh.

You roll your eyes.  “Nothing’s funny.”

“You are.”

“It’s not supposed to be.  How you gonna tell me I’m ugly on the biggest day of my life?”

“Did I ever say you ugly?  In fact I remember confirming that you are cute.”

“And then swiftly saying I dress badly.  What bride wants to hear that?”

His fingers run up and down your spine as he sways from side to side, leading you into his rhythm.

“You know what?  I gotta say it cuz it’s only right.  I am sorry.”  Yahya says genuinely.

You sigh deeply.  “Thank you.”

“I’m sorry I called you cute…”

“YAHYA!”  You yelp, pulling his ear and making him wince.

“Aww, that’s cute guys.  Playful, I like it!”  The photographer naively encourages you.

“Ow ow!  Ok ok, listen, stop!”  Yahya begs until you let go of his lobe.  Yahya massages his abused ear and continues.

“I mean I shouldn’t say you’re cute because you’re not.  You are...so fine.”

“Oh...shut up.”  You say in annoyance.

Yahya holds you closer, gaze lingering on your face.  “You are the sexiest woman I have ever laid eyes on.”

“Whatever,” you say in a less aggressive tone.

“And although I would compliment a woman’s mind before their body, yours keeps me distracted from being able to form cohesive thought, and I do apologize for my ways.”

You naturally rub the back of his head, growing softer in his arms.  “...Don’t apologize for that.”

Yahya shakes his head, moaning an old spiritual groan.  “Noooo ma’am, I must.  I am a gentleman at most times, but you bring out a side I can’t shake that is otherwise.  And I only say what I said about your clothes because you look best with them off of you.”

You snicker and push away as Yahya laughs out loud at your shyness. 

“Come on back here.  You done started something, if you’re not in front of me, our photographer is gonna capture a big moment we can’t show our family in the album.”

You feel exactly what  he means, holding his face in your hands as you shake your head.  “You dirty bastard.”

“That’s your fault, don’t blame me!” 

You pull him in for a kiss, becoming intoxicated with his spirit.  The things that annoy you can be the same things that pull you out of a funk and you love that about him.  His smile, his humor, his sex appeal without even trying and it was all for you until death do you part.

“Gorgeous!  Incredible!  Steamy!”  The photographer cheers, snapping you out of the intimate trance you were under, but Yahya could barely stop himself.

“Save it for later baby,”  you tell him in a husky tone, biting your lip over your over naughtiness.

You wipe your lipstick off his lips as he says, “I love you, sweetheart.  Always.”

“I love you.  Always,” you parrot back.

By the time you both are back in the hall, the part is jumping as your family and friends had their fill of food and drink, stepping to the choreography of the Wobble.  The DJ cut the song prematurely to announce the cutting of the cake as Yahya grabbed the knife to cut a sliver and guide it to your mouth.  You took a humble bite as the crowd applauds while you cut him a piece.  Yahya’s smile lights up as you hold out his piece before shoving it into his lips and nose.  The attendees gasp and laugh as the photographer captures the moment of cake being smashed on Yahya’s perfect grin.  He is stunned but recovers gracefully, licking some cake off his lips.  You clap for him, reaching for a napkin to help clean him but suddenly your body is pulled into his as he plants a kiss on you, making sure to transfer some cake onto you, generating even more laughter from your guests.  

You couldn’t help but laugh into him as he dramatically moves his face around yours, bumping your nose with his and parting to see his masterpiece.  You both laugh out loud, until finally cleaning your fun away and making it to the dance floor for your first dance.  

You can’t keep your eyes off of each other as your song As by Stevie Wonder came on over the speakers.  The floating nature of the opening verse makes you feel even more like you’re in a dream.  Yahya can’t keep his mouth still, singing along with the lyrics and holding you closer than his own skin.  When the chorus picks up, Yahya leads your two step, spinning you around to show you off, hands reaching a little lower than you would usually want in front of family but you didn’t care at all.  You made sure to get your solo dance in front of him, shaking your titties and throwing ass on your husband without shame.

Eventually your families joined the dance floor, surrounding you both with congratulations.  As the night wore on, it was time to head off for the evening.  You both were sent off with well wishes as the DJ continues to spin.  Your ride waited outside as you waved and ran to the backseat to be driven to your hotel.

The quiet of the car was odd coming straight out of the party.  Your ears rang a little bit and you finally felt the effects of walking around in heels for hours, kicking them off.

Yahya looks over at your feet, pulling your leg up on his lap to rub your feet.  “You tired?”

You lean back taking a deep breath.  “A little.  You?”

Yahya shrugs.  “I could stay up a little longer.”  He smirks at you in a sneaky way that tells you everything you need to know.

You chuckle, patting his arm.  “I know baby, we will.  Ooh, just keep rubbing like that.”

“That feels good?”  Yahya asks, get right at the soft pad under your toes. 

“Ohhh, yes!”  You moan, sinking into your seat with pleasure.

“Excuse me!  Sex in the cab is prohibited.  Please refrain.  And congratulations,”  the driver says.

You and Yahya share a glance before chuckling at the driver’s mistake.  “We got you sir, don’t worry about it.  Just can’t keep my hands off my wife.”  Yahya responds, taking your other foot onto his lap.

Arriving at the room of your hotel was an obstacle course.  The dress and veil is a dead giveaway for strangers to take the time to yell congrats at you both.  A wave of relief wash over you as Yahya begins to insert the key and opens the door for you.  You start to walk in but he blocks you.

“What?  I have to pee, come on,”  you hop on your bare feet, whining.

Yahya tosses your shoes inside before looking at you like a disappointed parent.  

“You just wanna ruin tradition, huh?  As a man I have to carry my lady over the threshold.”

“This isn’t our house or something!  It’s just the hotel, carry me later.  I have to go, please!”

“Aight, come on.”  Yahya bends to scoop you up making you yelp in surprise.

“Dammit, you’re gonna make me pee more!”  You squeeze your legs tight and his head tighter as he walks you in.

“I love my baby, pee and all!”  he sets you down but you practically jump out of his arms to the bathroom.  Hiking up your dress, you plant down and release gratefully.  A box sits on the counter across from you  with a ribbon on it that intrigues you.  Finishing, you get up to open the top to see a frisky negligee and thong set.

You shake your head, picking up the barely there clothing and smiling to yourself over what Yahya must’ve looked like having this picked out ahead of time.  Feeling for the zipper on your dress, you get ready to change.  

“Baby!  The alcohol is getting cold, hurry up!  HA!”  Yahya laughs in glee, twisting the corkscrew in to work it open.  With a pop, he got the glasses filled with some wine.

You open the bathroom door and see him shirtless, pouring the drinks.  The room is dead quiet except for the glug of the liquid and you get caught up in his physique.  It’s not the first time, but you feel renewed any time you see him from behind.  The sculpt of each isolated muscle that embedded his back down to the dips above the waist of his pants barely hanging onto his hips.  Although the glasses weigh practically nothing, his arms flexed as if he was keeping the world rotating on its axis.  

When he turns to see you, his body tenses, mouth half hanging open.  He stumbles to set down the wine as his eyes refuse to leave your direction.  You feel so many hormones rushing through your body, it's hard to concentrate on what’s to happen next.  It feels like pins are dancing across your skin as excitement works its effects on you, a primal need for him to touch you whilst keeping your distance.

“You look…”  Yahya’s voice trails off.

“I can dress now, huh?  But you picked it out, so points to you,”  you say cooly as you walk over to the waiting glass of wine, bringing it up to your lips as you watch him watch you.  

“It’s the best of both worlds: that color on you is spectacular but leaves nothing to the imagination.”  Yahya paws at the lace that cups your breast, not quite touching you.  You feel your body pull toward him under his light touch, wanting more but you refuse yourself.  Looking over at the bed you see the rose petals scattered across the duvet.

“Aww, you decorated?”  You walk over to pick up a petal, feeling it’s softness under your fingertips.  His hands snake across your stomach, pulling you backwards a bit so that you feel his desire.

Your breath hitches in your throat, resting your hands over his  while your hips back into him.

“That’s not the only thing I want on this bed.”  Yahya growls into your ear, palming your breast roughly as you feel your body bend over for him.

You’re breathing hard as your body pulsates under his touch, naturally seeking the release he so wants to provide.

“Wait, move a second.”  You override your senses to push away from under him, crawling across the bed to sit on the other end.  The curtains on the windows still show the city lights in the distance for you to stare into.

“Something wrong?”  He asks.

You feel yourself cooling as you get your thoughts together.  “The city is gorgeous, ain’t it...Yahya?”  

“Yeah it’s nice but what’s on your mind?”  Yahya asks, crawling over the bed behind you.

You shrug.  “It’s just crazy after all this planning, it’s done.  This is it: married life.”  You look over your shoulder at him and smirk.

“Well this isn’t all of it yet,”  he says, kissing your shoulder, up to your neck.  You hold his head, leaning into his lips as his hands reach your waist to pull you back onto the bed.

He pulls your negligee over your head as you lay back, enjoying his mouth grazing every inch of skin, feeling the pull of your underwear as he works his lips down your belly.

“You love me?”  You ask breathlessly as your legs lift for him to finish undressing you completely.  He looks over your fully exposed form with hunger, running his hands over your thighs.

“I love you, more than you know.”  

You reach for the button of pants, helping him take off the unnecessary clothes.  As he crawls up to meet between you, you feel your body tense up again.

“I got you.”  Yahya says softly, kissing your breasts again.

You claw the width of his back as you feel him tease against you.  Your legs wrap around him.

“God, I love you so much, baby.”  You moan under him, bringing his face to yours, taking him into you for the first time as man and wife.  

“You still taste sweet,”  you observe from the remnants of cake he ate earlier.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have reminded me about that.  I’m gonna get you back for real now.”

You gleefully accept your fate as Yahya pushes your body's pleasure to its edge.  You become one in a new way that shakes you up as he washes away every doubt and worry with each stroke.  You tasted his ecstasy on your tongue and you welcomed it warmly.  You both had never said I love you so much in one night as you had then, taking in each other's devotion completely, climaxing quicker than you ever had.  If this was married life, you could get used to it.

The next morning, the sun bathes you both in a soft glow, waking you.  You see the half drank wine on the table across from you and the discarded clothing littering the floor.  Yahya’s arms pins you to the bed as you feel the urge to pee.  Grabbing his wrist, you hear him groan.

“Don’t you dare leave me in this bed alone.”  Yahya says sleepily, pulling you in tighter.

You look back at him amused.  “But I have to pee.”

“Again?  Damn.  I’m starting to think you're just trying to run away from me.”

You turn over to look at him, eyes closed with a dramatic frown.  You smack his face playfully.

“Hey.  Runaway bride is before the vows.  It’s too late for me to do that now.” 

He peeks one eye open at you.  “You damn right.  You my woman now, hitched!  Got it?”  

“And you my man, you hear me Yahya Abdul-Mateen II?”   You say, getting up to scurry to the toilet.

“That’s right Mrs. Abdul-Mateen!  Madly in love!  Head over heels...like how I had your heels over your head last night...”

Masterlist

#yahya abdul matten fic #shakafic

[noladyme]

Skip To My Lou, My Darling - Chapter 2, Bloody Beauty I

The road so far…

A little over a year ago Lulu met, fell for, was saved by – and finally – lost a man like no other she had ever met. Now, in a different city – with a completely different life – she faces new dangers; and a ghost from the past.

Tag List (Let me know if you want to be added) @edonaspanca​ @wonderlandfandomkingdom​

Rated M

Bloody Beauty I

The music was pumping loudly at Buddies. The air was stale with bad perfume and spilled drinks; and my top was too tight. “Lolita!”, Raul called after me. “Your friends are back”. I took a deep breath, and put on my fakest grin; walking towards the two men at the end of the bar. “Hi, boys, what can I get you?”, I asked.

The two men were both already deep into their third beers. They were both wearing flannel shirts over t-shirts – a painful reminder of some good friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. One of them, I’d never see again.

The taller of the men – ironically enough a brunette with shaggy hair – smirked at me. “Well, your number would be a good start”, he jeered. I grimaced apologetically. “Sorry, buddy. We have a strict don’t date the costumer’s policy in this place”. He frowned at me. “Really?”, he asked. “Nope…”, I said. “It’s just me. Now what’ll you have?”. The shorter of the two laughed. “Another pair of cold ones, honey”, he smiled. I walked away. Honey. The word made me cringe.

I walked back towards Raul, who was bending over to grab some ciders from the fridge behind the bar. I patted his firm butt. “Grab me a couple of cold one’s. And make them warm”. He chuckled, and rubbed the spot my hand had hit. “That’s gonna leave a mark, Lulu”, he grinned; and handed me two beers from a crate beside the fridge. “You’ll have to explain that to Justin”. I furrowed my brows. “What happened to Mark?”, I asked. Raul stood up and frowned at me. “His wife found out”. “Ouch…”, I winced. “Sorry”. Raul shrugged. “It’s fine. He always cried during…”. “I don’t want to know!”, I laughed.

I walked back to my admirers, and put the beers down in front of them, taking the empty ones, and the 10-dollar bill they handed me. “Seriously though, Lulu”, the tall one said. “I’d really just like to get to know you. You seem…”. “I’m going now”, I said, and walked away.

A group of sorority girls with very fake id’s, were trying to flirt with Raul to get him to change the playlist. “Sorry ladies, I’m not in charge of it. You’ll have to talk to Lulu over there”, he smiled, and gestured towards me. I rolled my eyes. “Just let them. We’ll never hear the end of it”.

The group of girls squealed in delight. “Ok, what’s the song?”, Raul said; and a busty blonde leaned across the bar to whisper in his ear. He grinned. “Retro… I like it!”. He came over to where I was standing by the music system’s computer. “I can’t believe you let them do that”, he smiled. “You’re gonna hate their song”. “Why?”, I asked. “You’re in to all that classic rock stuff”, he replied.

He clicked around on the computer for a moment; when suddenly a soft guitar began playing out the speakers. I swallowed hard. “Lying in your arms, so close together. Didn't know just what I had. Now I toss and turn, ‘cause I'm without you. How I'm missing you so bad”. I swallowed hard – feeling like someone punched me in the chest. “Yeah, I hate it. I’m gonna step outside for a moment”, I muttered. He put a hand on my shoulder. “Are you ok, Lolita?”, he asked. I nodded. “Yeah…”, I said. “Just need air”.

I took off my apron, and passed the dancing sorority girls; who were singing along – very badly – to the song. “I lie awake. I drive myself crazy, drive myself crazy – thinking of you”. I hadn’t been laying awake lately. I’d been sleeping just fine, without any nightmares where I was killing people; and it was all due to – in part – a man I’d met, fallen for; and lost – all in just three days.

The air outside was chilly and refreshing. A few people where stood around smoking and laughing. It was Friday evening after all, and Denver had enough colleges to fill any bar with students willing to pay for overprized booze. I stood for a while, taking a few deep breaths of the night air, before regaining my senses, and stepping back inside.

Passing a table of frat boys; I felt a hand on my ass. I reached back, and grabbed the thumb of the hand; bending it backwards. “Ow! What the hell, lady?”, the man who’d made unwelcome grasp for my butt yelped. Raul came up next to me, in all his bodybuilding glory. “Get out”, he said menacingly. “Now!”. The guys at the table grumbled, but got up to leave. “I’ll have my dad’s lawyer call you!”, the grabber sneered – his blue eyes ablaze with rage. I smirked. “Go ahead. I don’t have a penny he can take, anyway”.

Raul put an arm around me, and led me back behind the bar. “You know, you pinch my butt all the time”, he muttered. “I thought we had an understanding”, I said. “I’ll stop”. Raul grinned. “Nah, go ahead. Reminds me why I’m in to men”. “Ouch!”, I winced, and slapped his butt hard. “Thanks for teaching me that trick, by the way”.

The evening turned into night, and a makeshift dancefloor was created by the sorority girls – as they began moving around tables. I groaned internally as they once again went up to Raul, to get him to change the music. At least they’d moved on to something a little closer to my taste; as Celebrity Skin began blasting. I poured myself a shot of whiskey, and downed it. “Is it dancing time yet, Lolita?”, Raul yelled at me. “You know it is!”, I grinned, and climbed onto the bar, as my laughing friend began moving bottles around for me to be able to move. “Hey, so glad you could make it. Yeah, now you’ve really made it. Hey, there’s only us left now!”, I screamed along; while dancing around on the bar counter; and sending winks at the screaming girls, who were whooping at me. The blonde was clapping her hands at me, and threw up her arms – almost knocking over her friend’s drink. The friend, who seemed to have perfect skin – I was constantly in awe of how these college girls could afford facials – looked at the blonde in annoyance for a second. “Shots for the ladies, Raul!”, I yelled; and the bartender poured a round of our cheapest booze into some shot glasses, handing them over to the squealing girls. I downed one myself; before stumbling, and nearly falling off the bar.

Raul helped me down, and gave me a hug. “You feeling better?”. “Yeah”, I grinned. “Good, ‘cuz the table in the corner needs drinks”, he smiled, and handed me two cold Buds. I frowned. “No more dancing, girls”, I said to the sorority sisters. “Gotta do my job now”. They frowned right back at me; as I walked away.

In the deepest, darkest corner of the bar – only lit up by a single bulb hanging over it, sat two men, deep in conversation. They were both wearing flannels, and I sighed. “I thought I just got you drinks”, I said; facing the two men – and instantly dropped the beers on the floor.

“You’re dead…”, I breathed, and stepped backwards, away from the broken glass at my feet. Dean Winchester looked at me with wide eyes. “Lou?”, he croaked. I looked at the other man – his brother, Sam. “You told me… Dean was…”. I shook my head, and quickly walked away from the table, and out the back door – into the alleyway behind it.

I heard the door open and close behind me. “Lulu… I’m sorry”, Sam was saying. Dean was standing just behind him. “How long?”. He looked down. “How long, Sam?”, I growled. “9 months”, he admitted. “9 months… ok”. I took a deep breath and walked over to the tall man – smacking him hard across the face. Sam stumbled backwards.

Dean stepped forward. “Lou, it wasn’t…”. I stepped over to him, and gave him the same treatment. “You…! Don’t talk right now”. I turned back to Sam. “We spent a week together, Sam”, I said. Dean frowned, and looked at his brother. “I know”, Sam muttered. “You saw me! I was… Oh my god…”. I began heaving for breath.

Dean ran over to me, and put a hand on my back. “Are you ok?”, he asked. “Don’t touch me”, I snarled, and shrugged him off. 

Raul came running outside. He’d taken off his shirt, and was standing in only his tank top – showing off every rip of muscle he had. “Is everything ok here?”, he snarled. I simultaneously nodded and shook my head. “Yes… no”, I said. “You guys should probably leave now”, Raul said, and stepped between me and Dean. Dean visibly tensed up.

I grabbed the bartender’s hand. “It’s fine, Raul”, I muttered. “They’re old… friends”. He looked at me, narrowing his eyes. “Do you usually run away from friends, Lolita?”. Lolita?, Dean mouthed. “Really, I’m ok…”, I said. “Just go… get them fresh beers. They’re paying costumers after all”. “Sure, mami?”, Raul asked. I nodded. Raul gave Dean one last look, and went back inside.

I looked up at the brothers. “You two… go back inside”, I said. “Have your drinks. Then leave. And don’t come back”. “We can leave right now…”, Dean growled. “We can’t…”, Sam muttered. “We have a case”. “Of course you do”, I sighed.

I went back inside; and when I looked over my shoulders, I saw the brothers go back to their table. Behind the bar, Raul gave me a concerned look, as I poured myself another shot, and downed it. I changed the music again; putting on Call Me by Blondie. “How are those drinks coming?”, I asked Raul. “You want me to spit in them?”, he asked. “No… Those two have enough problems as it is”. I grabbed the beers, and walked back to the table.

“Are you trying to tell us something?”, Sam asked. Dean wouldn’t look at me. “What?”, I sneered. “The music?”. Sam tried for a smile. I put the beers down hard on the table. “Enjoy”, I grinned as fake as I could; and walked away.

About an hour later Dean and Sam still hadn’t left – and I wasn’t sure I actually wanted them to leave either. I was well into my sixth shot, and second beer; and Raul was doing his best to keep my spirit up. “So… he kissed you. Then told you he was dying… And now he’s back? What a dick!”. I nodded. “I know, right?”, I yelled over the music. “He’s kind of hot, though”, Raul said. I sighed. “I know”, I admitted. “Did you two…?”. I shook my head. “I think he’s impotent”, I said.

I was getting quite drunk at this point; and when Bad Medicine came on, I once again climbed on to the bar – trying to dance my worries away. I noticed Dean had moved towards the bar to grab a new round for him and Sam; but I did my best to ignore him “Shake it up, just like Bad Medicine!”. I was shaking with the best of them; when I saw the busty sorority blonde sending Dean eyes, and walking over to him. He gave her a warm smile, when she put her hand on his chest. I crouched in front of the pair; and looked down at them. “Sweetie… been there, done that. Got the clap”. The girl winced, and quickly retreated.

Dean looked up at me, narrowing his eyes. “Thanks for that…”, he grunted. “Bon Jovi now?”. “A very underestimated band”, I smiled. “Why are you still here?”. “Paying costumer… cute bartenders”, he smirked. I smiled. “Yeah I know. Raul is hot!”. I winked at my friend, who blew me a kiss and winked back at me. “Boyfriend?”, Dean asked – trying to hide the distaste in his voice. I shrugged. “He’s a boy who’s a friend”. “Huh”, Dean grunted. “Another round, please”, he said, and held out a twenty. I grabbed the note, and stood up. “Coming right up!”, I said, and went to step down from the bar; when I slipped, and fell forwards, right into Deans arms.

“Whoa, Lou. Bit sauced, aren’t we?”. He put me on my feet in front of him, and I tried to frown without giggling. “You’re still cute… but you’re a dick too. It’s not a good combination”. Dean shook his head. “Hey, boyfriend!”, he called towards Raul. “I’m gonna drive the lady home. You got a problem with that?”. “No you’re not”, I tried. “Yeah, I am”, Dean said, and gestured for Sam to come over.

Raul came over to look at me. “You good with that, Lulu?”, he asked. “Absolutely…”, I said; before looking at Dean. “Did I say not?”, I whispered. “Sure”, he muttered. “Ok, then…”.

“I’m gonna need your name, man”, Raul said. “Malcolm Young. You want my social security too?”, Dean grumbled; still trying to keep me upright. I patted his cheek and laughed. “No, you’re not! You’re John Osbourne…”, I said. Raul frowned. Dean sighed. “Alias. We’re FBI”. Sam had come over to join us, and they both held up some badges.

“Hi, Sam!”, I said. “You’re here too!”. Sam stifled a grin. “What did she drink?”, he asked. “Wheee… skey”, I laughed, before looking seriously at Raul. “Going with these men would be a very bad idea, Raul”. “They’re feds”, Raul shrugged. I nodded fiercely. “Yes… fed hunters… feddy hunters”. I sighed deeply. “I love you, Raul”.

My friend looked at Sam, who gave his best impression of a very trustworthy man. “Ok, Lulu. Just call me tomorrow, ok?”. “Yes!”, I smiled. “I shall absolutely use my telephone to dial your number, and communicate with you”. Raul laughed, handed Sam my phone, and went back to serve some patrons.

Dean began leading me towards the door. “Wait… what’s happening?”, I asked. “I’m taking you home”, Dean said. “No, you absolutely are not”, I said; trying to push him off me. “Yes, I am. You can hardly stand”. “Can hardly stand you!”, I said. “Hey. I’m funny. Hi Sam!”. I grinned at the younger brother again. “Hi Lulu. Why don’t you give us your address…”. I shook my head. “Nope. Not happening”, I said. “But come here, and I’ll whisper it”.

Same came up close to me and Dean, and leaned his head down to my mouth to listen. “I drive myself crazy, drive myself crazy – thinking of you!”, I sang loudly into his ear. Dean frowned. “Ok, let’s just go”. In a swift move, he pulled me over his shoulder, so my head was upside down, looking at his backside. “Sir, has anyone ever told you that you have a nice butt?”, I laughed.

Dean carried me towards the door; and Sam opened it for us. I began slapping Deans bottom. “I can walk, Mr. Osbourne!”, I yelled, before pocking at one of his butt cheeks through his jeans. “It’s also very firm”.

I was transported over to the black Impala, and deposited in the backseat. “This car doesn’t have seatbelts. That’s not very safe”. “I won’t tell, if you don’t”, Dean grunted. “Sam get in the back with her, so she doesn’t try to get out”. “I’m being kidnapped!”, I giggled; and leaned against Sam as he entered the car next to me. I poked at his chest. “You’re also very firm. But Dean has nice eyes. I like his eyes. Do you like his eyes?”. Dean got in the driver’s seat, and looked at us in the mirror. “See? Nice eyes…”, I breathed. “Yes, Dean has… nice eyes”, Sam smiled.

I sighed, as Dean started up the car; and drove us down the road. “But he broke my heart… did you know that?”, I said. Deans eyes met mine in the mirror. They were pained.

Then everything went dark.

---

I woke up in a bed that wasn’t mine. My mouth felt like it was full of cotton; and I blinked a few times. The room was brightly colored, in turquoise shades; hurting my eyes.

“Good morning, Coyote Ugly”, a dark voice said. I looked in the direction of the voice. Dean was looking at me, from where he was seated in a chair by a table. “I don’t live here…”, I croaked. “No… We do. For now”. “This is your motel?”, I asked. “Yup”, he said, and came over to me; holding out a glass of some rancid smelling liquid. “Hair of the dog?”. I sat up. “What is that?” Dean shrugged. “Alka-Seltzer; Gatorade; a crushed-up Advil – and some charcoal”. He put the glass on the bedside table. “Trust me. It works. Cured my case of the clap”.

I groaned. “Sorry… I guess I said a lot of things last night; up until I blacked out”. “And after”, Dean muttered. I frowned, and grabbed the glass; holding my nose as I drank it. “That is… vile”, I said. “Sam’s getting coffee. Should take away the taste”, Dean said. I sighed. “Right… Sam”. “Yeah. You remember… the guy with the firm chest?”, Dean smirked. I shook my head. “Please, don’t… I’m already embarrassed enough as it is”.

Dean nodded. “You should call your boyfriend”, he muttered. I looked down. “He’s not my boyfriend”, I said quietly. Dean gave me a cold look. “Whatever. Your manfriend, then”.

Dean sat down, and began rifling through some papers – looking out the corner of his eye at me. “How are you feeling”, he said, before clearing his throat. I looked under the covers. “Well, I’m still wearing pants… so that’s an upside”. “You thought we’d undress you?”, Dean frowned. “I don’t know… there are a lot of things I thought you wouldn’t do…”. “Like what?”, He asked. I shrugged. “Come back from the dead, comes to mind”. Dean clenched his jaw. “About that…”.

The door opened. “I got the coffee. She awake?”. Sam stepped inside, and saw me sitting upright. “Great! And no one’s dead yet. That’s good”. “I wouldn’t kill her”, Dean muttered. “She might kill you… and me”, Sam retorted. I narrowed my eyes at the man. “I’m still considering it”, I muttered. “You could drop me off at my place. I could get Dean’s gun…”. Dean threw up his hands in the air. “So that’s where it is”, he said exasperatedly. “Thanks for telling me, Sammy!”. “You said you didn’t want to… you know”, Sam said quietly, nodding his head in my direction. I got out of the bed. “Didn’t want to what?”, I asked. “Nothing”, Dean grunted.

Sam handed me a donut. “Breakfast?”, his voice broke. I shook my head. “Where’s my purse? I need my phone”. Sam handed me my phone. “Your purse is probably still at the bar”, he muttered. “Sorry. We were in a rush”. “I could tell”, I said; dialing up Raul.

“Hola, Lolita!”, his cheery voice rang through. “Threesome go well?”. “No… nothing like that”, I muttered. “Those guys were smoking… too bad. But you’re alive and well”, he said. “I am”, I said. “I have your purse, mami. Give it to you at the bar later?”. “No, babe. I need it now”.

Dean looked up at me, and frowned.

“Right, your keys. You probably need a shower”, Raul said. “Can I come over?”, I asked. “I… have a guest”, Raul said. “Handsy guy turned out to be showing off for his friends… he apparently prefers beards over breasts”, Raul chuckled. “I’ll be right there, baby”, he called to someone in the back. “That sounds… hot”, I grinned.

Dean cleared his throat, and took a deep sip of his coffee. I met his eyes, and couldn’t help but smile. Sam was seemingly pretending like he wasn’t even in the room.

“Raul, please…”, I pleaded. He sighed. “Ok, come over. Just gotta get rid of the hangaround. 30 minutes?”. “Yes. Thanks. See you then”. I hung up, and looked at Dean.

“Could you… maybe give me a ride? I need to get my purse from Raul”, I asked timidly. He stood up, and grabbed his keys from the table. “Sure…”, he muttered. We went towards the door. “Sammy, keep looking. There has to be something”. “Yeah”, Sam said. “It was good seeing you, Lulu”, he tried. I gave him a crooked smile. “I… wish I could say the same”, I whispered; and followed Dean out the door.

---

Giving Dean the address to Raul’s place; I got in the passenger seat next to him – and he drove us out of the motel parking lot. For a good while, we were quiet. Dean turned on the radio; probably trying to end the silence. “Bon Jovi?”, I muttered, as Livin’ on a Prayer began playing. “Rocks on occasion”, he grunted. “Sure does”, I said.

He gazed over at me for a second. “How have you been?”, he asked. “You really wanna know?”, I croaked. He shrugged. “Sure… You seem like you’re doing ok. But no more teaching?”. I smiled. “Couldn’t face dealing with another nightmare-inducing principal”. He chuckled. “I get that”, he said. “So, no more nightmares?”. Save for the one where you leave me, and never come back, I thought. “No”, I lied. “Just the usual… Naked in the middle of a busy street… clowns… that sort of thing”. He nodded. “You naked isn’t my idea of a nightmare, but ok…”.

“Don’t…”, I whispered. He clenched his jaw. “Sorry”, he said, eyes focused on the road. “I guess I didn’t realize…”. “Yes, you did”, I rasped. “That’s why you left before we could get serious. At least that’s what you said, then”. “Meant it”, he grunted. “Yeah?”, I rasped. “Then why didn’t you let me know? Or have Sam let me know?”. The front seat of the Impala suddenly seemed very broad; like there was a mile between us.

Dean swallowed hard. “That place I came back from…”, he began. “So you did come back? You didn’t just ditch me, and pretend to die?”. He looked angrily at me. “Would you let me finish?”, he growled. “And besides, Sam came to see you when I died, didn’t he? You were together… a week, right?”. I let out a scoffing breath. “You think… that’s why you were so short with him”. Dean didn’t answer. “Dean… Sam and me…”. “I don’t wanna hear it, Lou”, he grunted.

I controlled myself; before glaring at him. “Sam showed up at my apartment, a week after you died”, I said. “I said, I don’t…”, he tried. “You’re going to!”, I snarled. “He was a mess – and so was I. We spent a week taking turns getting drunk and crying. When he slept, I watched over him, and vice versa. I was heartbroken, Dean! And so was he…”. Dean looked at me from the corner of his eye. “But we never… That wasn’t even a… no”. In the end, my voice broke, and a tear betrayed me – slipping down my cheek. I quickly dried it away. “Sorry”, Dean muttered. “We’re here”, I whispered; and gestured at Raul’s building.

Dean pulled over, and I got out of the car. Before I closed the door to the Impala, I looked at him. “I remember what I said last night”, I said. “That you broke my heart… And you did. Twice. First, when you left me like you did – after everything that happened… The second time was when I found out that you’d lied”. He frowned. “When did I lie?”. “When you told me what we had was real”, I croaked. “If it was, you would have let me know”.

I closed the car door; and walked away – rushing to get inside the building. I ran up the stairs; and knocked on Raul’s door. He opened within seconds. “Hey, Lolita!”, he grinned; wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants. He looked at my face, and instantly frowned. “What happened?”. “Nothing”, I croaked.

Raul threw his arms around me, and I buried my face in his chest. “Oh, mami. I’m so sorry”, he whispered into my hair. “I’m so, so sorry…”. I held on tightly to him.

“Lulu!”, someone called from behind me. Turned my face away from Raul’s chest, and saw Dean – lips parted, and eyes sad – before his expression turned sour. “Just… wanted to make sure you got in safe. “You should leave, man”, Raul grunted. “Come on, Lolita”, he muttered, and pulled me into the apartment; closing the door behind us.

---

As Raul’s place was closer to Buddie’s than mine was, I kept some spare clothes there, when nights at the bar turned crazy, and I didn’t want to go home. I often stayed on my friend’s couch; especially after some weirdo or other wouldn’t leave me alone at work.

After a spending the day curled up on his couch, the bartender handed me a mug. “Spiked it”, he smiled; as I smelled the luscious cocoa, he’d made me. “Thanks”, I smiled, and drank from the mug. “You feeling better?”, he asked, and stroked my cheek. I sighed. “I’m… much better, yeah”, I said. “Just needed it out of my system”. Raul drew his lips back in a snarl. “I should have kicked his ass”, he said. I shook my head. “It’s fine… But you mind if I take a swing at your punching bag?”. His face lit up. “Go ahead! You know where it is”.

I went into Raul’s bedroom; and walked over to the large red bag hanging in the corner. Fisting my hands, I began punching at it, hard. I lifted my leg, and kicked at it; making it slam against the wall. “Easy, mami”, Raul smiled from the doorway. “I want to be able to get my deposit back one day”. “Sorry”, I chuckled.

Raul put on some protective pads; and stepped over to me. “You got this”, he said. “Remember? Punch, punch, knee”. I struck first at Raul’s face, then his torso – while he covered himself from the blows with the pads – and finally put my knee against the pad he held in front of his groin. “Good. Again. Punch… punch… knee!”, he said. “Yes! Now what do we say to bad ex-boyfriends?”. “Not today!”, I yelled, and laughed. “Good girl”, Raul grinned.

We trained for a few more minutes, before I felt like the alcohol sweat was getting to me, and stepped into the bathroom. I took a shower, and applied some makeup I kept in my purse, looking more or less like I hadn’t spent hours crying while watching TiVo’d RuPaul’s Drag Race with Raul. Stepping out of the bathroom; Raul handed me a fresh set of clothes. “It’s 90’s night. Thought you might want your flannel”.

I frowned when I looked down at the shirt, he’d given me. It was the one Dean had left at my old apartment. “You wear it”, I muttered. Raul shrugged. “Don’t mind if I do!”, he grinned, and put on the flannel.

I grabbed a dark grey tank top for myself, and a pair of tight jeans, ripped at the knees. “You got your combat boots in my closet”, Raul called over his shoulder, as he was doing his hair in the bathroom mirror. “I thought your closet was empty, babe”, I grinned. “For years, mami!”, he said.

I put on my booth, and joined him by the mirror, slapping his butt. “Blue Steel!”, I smiled, and we both contorted our faces into perfect Zoolander looks. “Tonight, we’re getting you laid, mami!”, Raul jeered. I laughed and shook my head. “I’m good; thanks”, I said. Raul grabbed my red lipstick from my purse, and grabbed my chin. “Stand still”, he ordered; and applied the color to my lips. “Perfect”, he said as he finished – pecking my lips chastely. “Let’s get to work”.

---

“What’s in your head? In your head? Zombie…”. The bass was heavy, and most of the patrons were headbanging to the music. I was running back and forth between the many costumers at the bar.

We had extra help that night – a few dropouts that had needed jobs where going between tables, taking orders. “We need a new keg!”, I called over the music. Raul nodded, and went in the back to grab one. “Megan! Table 5!”. I handed the young woman four beers on a tray.

Raul returned to the bar with the keg, and as I moved the nozzle to it; he began a conversation with a person I recognized. I sauntered over, and smirked at the man. “Talk to daddy’s lawyer yet?”. The blue-eyed man smiled embarrassedly. He held up his hand, which was bandaged after my work on it. “Yeah, sorry… That was rude”. “It really was”, I nodded. “But give me a nice tip, and we’ll move past it…”. Raul winked at the man. “He already gave me the…”. “No! Don’t wanna know”, I laughed, and walked away.

I handed another tray of beers to Megan. “Go on sweetie!”, I smiled. “Thanks… Lulu?”, she said. “Yup?”. Her pretty face was smiling brightly at me. “Thanks for convincing the owner to give me this gig. I really appreciate it”. “You’re doing great”, I grinned.

I grabbed a tray of cold ones myself, and walked towards the table who had ordered it. Someone grabbed my arm. I turned around, and stood face to face with one of the girls from the group of sorority sisters the night before; the one with the perfect skin and bright eyes. “Yes?”, I smiled. “I’m sorry. I was just wondering if you’d seen Terri around tonight…”, the girl said. I furrowed my brow. “Terri?”. “The blonde”, the girl said. “You know… the one with the…”. She made a gesture towards her chest. “Ah, yes. Her”, I said. “No, haven’t seen her”. The girl frowned. “She left with some guy last night… haven’t seen her since. She hasn’t called…”. I looked towards the table waiting for their drinks, and sighed. “Look, leave your number with Raul at the bar. If we see her, we’ll call, ok?”. The girl nodded, and walked off. I left the beers at the table, and slid the 20 they handed me into my pocket.

Back at the bar, Raul was still in deep conversation with the blue-eyed man. He seemed like he was trying to brush him off. “But we had something, dude!”, the guy was saying. “Sorry, baby. I have to get back to work”, Raul smiled; and went over to me, rolling his eyes. I pouted. “I think you broke his heart”. “He’ll get over it”, Raul shrugged. “You’re not gonna see him again?”, I asked. “You usually at least give a guy a couple of dates”. Raul cleared his throat, and looked uncomfortable. “He’s got… this thing”, he muttered. I chuckled. “What… Horns? A tail?”. Raul met my eyes. “Dude’s got a tail?”, I whispered with wide eyes. Raul grimaced. “It’s… a tiny one. But it was right in my line of sight”. I winced. “Yikes…”. “Yeah…”, Raul grumbled. “I’m gonna go get a case of Bud”.

I returned to the patrons at the bar; when suddenly I was face to face with Dean again. “Hi”, he muttered. Sam was standing behind him – looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. “Hey”, I said. Dean clenched his jaw a second. “We’re here on a case… not to hassle you”. I shrugged. “It’s fine”, I said; trying my best not to get lost in his intense stare. “So… what is it?”. He cleared his throat. “It’s… not something we can talk about with people around”, he said; and pulled a picture from his pocket. “This girl; you seen her?”.

Terri was giving me a million-dollar smile from the photo he was holding up. “Yeah she was here last night, remember?”, I said, raising a brow at him. A smile ghosted his face. “Yeah… She’s missing”. I frowned. “Her friend was here earlier, asking for her”, I said. “Probably the girl we talked to down at the college”, Sam said. A group of frat guys were waving at me from the other end of the bar. “Look, I have to go do my job”.

Raul reappeared from the basement; carrying a case of beer. “You let him wear my shirt?”, Dean snapped. “He’s stretching it, with all that… muscle!”. I shrugged. “Sorry… I can have him take it off”, I smirked. “But he’s got nothing on underneath; and it might cause a stir”. Dean frowned. “No… let him have it”. Sam cleared his throat. “We should get back to the case”. I nodded, and walked away.

Megan returned to the bar. “Can you take care of the frat guys over there?”, I asked. “I need some air”. “Sure thing!”, she grinned. I smiled at Raul, who gave me a knowing look; and I went towards the back door.

I closed the door behind me; and went to stand against the wall. I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I heard the door open and close again. “Really though? My gun and my shirt?”. I opened my eyes to see Dean looking at me with wide eyes. “I don’t want to do this. Please, Dean”, I said quietly. “Too bad, because I do”, he said; his brows raised in a serious expression. “You said a lot of things back there in the car… but you didn’t let me say anything”. I shrugged. “You didn’t seem to be in a chatty mood”. He stepped towards me; leaving less than a yard between us. “That was because I thought you and Sam… No, you know what? Never mind”. I shook my head. “No, you started this. Finish it!”, I sneered.

Dean took a deep breath; seemingly trying to restrain his anger. “I was in Hell, Lou”, he said. “The actual Hell”. My lips parted, and I drew in a short breath. “What do you mean?”, I whispered. “I mean; hellhounds dragged me downstairs, and demons tortured me – ripped me apart, and put me back together – every day for years”. Dean looked down, avoiding my eyes. “But… you weren’t gone for…”, I began. “Time works differently there”, he muttered. “After… a long time… I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I was offered a different position to being the demons’ favorite punching bag”.

I lifted my hand to reach for him; but he stepped backwards. It was as if he was afraid, I’d hurt him if I touched him – or he would hurt me. “I became a torturer myself… I was… good at my job”. “Dean…”, I croaked; and stepped towards him – putting my hand on his arm. He shrugged me off. “You shouldn’t…”, he said quietly. “It’s why I didn’t try to find you again… How could you ever…?”. He looked like the weight of the world – or Hell – was on his shoulders.

I put my hand back on his arm – this time he didn’t move; but he still wouldn’t meet my eyes. “That’s not you”, I said. “It is…”, he rasped. “I did those things. I tortured, and slashed and…”. “Stop…”, I whispered, and stepped closer to him; putting my other hand on his cheek. He finally met my eyes tentatively. “I didn’t want to hurt you… still don’t”, he said. “Who I am – what I’ve done… How could I ever be someone…?”.

I put both my arms around his waist, and held on tightly to him. After a moment; I felt his arms surround me; and he put his face into the crook of my neck. “I’m sorry, Dean”, I whispered. “I’m so sorry”. “No… I don’t deserve that”, he muttered. I shook my head, and looked at him – still holding him tight. “I’m sorry that happened to you”, I said. He furrowed his brow. “You sacrificed yourself for your brother. You are a good man”. “But I did those things…”, he said quietly. “Anyone in your place would have”, I said.

He pulled away from me. “If I could have stayed with you, I would have”, he muttered. I smiled. “No you wouldn’t. You have your job. You help people; and that’s not something you can do from one place”. He nodded, and cleared his throat. “But I would have stayed in touch. I really wanted us to… try”. “And now…?”, I rasped. Dean shook his head. “You have the MMA fighter in there…”. I chuckled. “Raul is gay, Dean”, I smiled. His eyes widened. “So, you two are…”. “Friends”, I said. Dean sighed deeply. “Well I’m an idiot!”, he chuckled. I shrugged. “You kind of are, yeah”, I grinned.

Dean stepped towards me again – and putting his hands on either side of my face – he leaned in; and kissed me. I grabbed his wrists, and put his arms around me – putting my own hands behind his head; running my fingers through his short hair. Dean suckled at my lower lip – gently stroking his tongue across it. I let out a soft moan. He pulled me even closer; before backing me against wall – leaving no space between us. My breath was growing ragged, and I let his tongue enter my mouth; as he ran a hand down to my hip, and pressed into me.

All space and time turned in to this. Me and Dean, colliding like comets, and exploding in passion – in a dirty alleyway behind a bar.

“Dean!”. Sam had come out to find his brother. “Wow… sorry. I didn’t mean to…”. He cleared his throat. Dean looked at his brother, and grinned. “Raul is gay!”, he said happily. Sam raised a confused brow. “Yeah I know. He’s spent the last 15 minutes flirting with me”, he said. “Look, dude, we still have a case to finish”.

Dean stepped back from me; and looked at me apologetically. “I need to…”. “Yeah”, I nodded. “I’m gonna call you!”, he said. “You still don’t have my number”, I chuckled. He licked his lip. “I may or may not have texted myself from your phone, while you were passed out last night”, he admitted with a smirk.

We reentered the bar, and the guys followed me over to the bar. I looked at Raul, and blushed. “What?”, I croaked. Dean looked at Raul with a big grin on his face. “That’s a really nice shirt, man!”, he said. Raul laughed. “Yeah, thanks. I like your lipstick!”. Dean rubbed his lips with the back of his hand; and looked at me with a crooked smile. I leaned over the bar, and grabbed his collar – leaving a short kiss on his lips. “I’ll see you around”, I said. “Yeah”, he smirked. I smiled at Sam, who chuckled at me. “See you, Lulu”, he said; and the brothers walked towards the exit.

I spent a moment regaining my wits. “Dean…”, Raul said; wiggling his brows. “I bet you’re really sorry he’s impotent”. “Shut up”, I chuckled. “Where’s Megan?”. Raul frowned. “Haven’t seen her for a while. Could you take this order?”. He handed me a tray, and I went to serve the table.

---

At 2 am I was finally home. My apartment in Denver was smaller than the one I’d had – just a studio – but it was nice; rustic. I had been able to afford a couple of pieces of second hand furniture – including a bed with a metal bar headboard; a small couch and armchair, with a coffee-table to go with it; a small kitchen table with some chairs; and a dresser. My clothes, books, tv, stereo, records and CDs where all I had brought with me – having left behind the furniture in my old place; wanting to avoid the memories of it.

My feet were tired, my shoulders were sore – but my heart was full. I looked at my phone to see if Dean had texted or called; and came across the text he’d sent his own phone. - Lou. I’m sorry. I know I’m the last person you expected to see. I wish things were different. Things were different now.

I was about to send him a text; when there was a knock at the door. It was late for guests, so I looked out the peep-hole to see who was there. With a smile, I immediately opened the door. “Hi”, Dean said; with a nervous look on his face. “How did you find this place?”, I asked. “You’re listed”, he smiled. “Do you want me to…”. “No!”, I interrupted him. “Come in…”.

Dean stepped in to the room, and looked around. I closed the door behind him. “This is… nice”, he said. “Thanks…”, I muttered. “It’s smaller, but I like it”. Dean moved around the room, taking it in. “I just came by to check you got home ok”. “No…”, I said. He frowned. “No?”. I smiled. “That’s not why you came”, I said. He nodded. “You’re right”.

An eternity passed – or just a second, I couldn’t tell – before, with two long steps, Dean wrapped me in his arms, and pressed his lips to mine. I ran my hands up his torso, and he pulled back from me; looking on in wonder, as I pushed his jacket off his shoulders, and down his arms – letting it drop to the floor.

Dean attacked my mouth again, and our tongues met at the same time our bodies did. I gasped, as Dean gently pulled at my lip with his teeth – gaging my reaction with intense green eyes. I pulled at his shirt, and he quickly pulled it off; discarding it somewhere over his shoulder – before tugging at the hem of my tank. “Tell me to stop”, he breathed against my mouth. “I’ll leave right away”. “No”, I rasped. “Don’t stop”. I lifted my arms in the air, and let him pull the fabric over my head.

He stepped backwards, and pulled off his own t-shirt. His torso was taut – trimmed, but not ripped. He was strong, I could tell – and remember – and I bit my lip as I looked him over. I stepped close to him again, and ran my fingertips from the amulet in his necklace, across his chest; ending up at a strange tattoo on his peck. Leaning in, I left a soft kiss on it, and gently licked a trail across his collarbone, and up his neck – feeling the stubble on his jaw meet my tongue. Dean drew in a short breath, and grabbed my hair; pulling my head back, so he could kiss me again.

Putting his hands on my thighs, he tapped them; telling me to jump. I giggled slightly, as he caught me; and I straddled his waist. Dean starred into my eyes with lust-blown pupils, and carried me towards the bed; letting his lips brush mine gently, as if to kiss me – then suddenly let go; dropping me onto the mattress.

He grinned down at me; before in a swift move pushing me to lie down, and crawling over me. For a moment he just looked at me. Then, he kissed my lips softly, and moved downwards, leaving a trail of kisses on my chin, my neck, my collarbone; and finally, one of each of my breasts, just where the lace met my skin. The stubble on his chin brushing against my skin, made my breath hitch. I slid my hands down his strong back; feeling his muscles flex under my touch. Dean’s hands where on my waist; and he looked up at me as his fingers travelled towards the button on my jeans – looking for consent. I bit my lip again, and nodded.

Sitting back on his knees – one of them between my legs – Dean opened the button, and then pulled down the zipper. He hooked his fingers into my waistband, and pulled my jeans down. I pulled myself backwards on the bed, so he could pull them off me. Nipping at both of my big toes, he pulled off my socks as well – and with a grin, he threw them over his shoulders, before bending down again, and kissing my knees. His lips left pecks up the inside of my thigh; and his warm breath there left me whimpering quietly, as my body stirred under him.

Dean moved upwards – the whole time looking into my eyes – pausing for a moment over the apex of my thighs, and parting his lips; licking the bottom one. I closed my eyes and put my head back on the pillow. Deans warm breath over my core was enough to make my walls quake. Suddenly he was over me again, kissing my lips. “Tease…”, I smiled against his lips. “You know it”, he said; and flicked my lips with his tongue. I threw my arms around him, and kissed him passionately – pushing his shoulder with one hand, to get him to roll onto his back. Dean obliged, and I straddled his waist – crawling backwards on my knees, so I could open his belt and the button of his jeans – as he looked on in wonder. Before I could finish the job, he sat up; and with a swift move, he unhooked my bra.

“You’ve had practice”, I chuckled. “Susan Farrow?”. He shrugged with a smug smile. Dean pulled at my bra straps, taking off the garment slowly – looking at my chest as he unveiled my mounds. He let out a soft “Oh… wow…”, as my breasts came in to view. I laughed softly, and took his hand to place it one of my mounds. He squeezed it gently, and looked into my eyes again. I parted my lips and drew in a hard breath, when he let his thumb graze over my nipple. Using his index finger as well, he pulled gently at it – leaving it erect. He used his other hand to do the same on my other bud. Moving his hands to my back, he rolled me onto my back again, and got off the bed, finally taking of his pants, boots and socks – leaving him in his boxers.

Dean Winchester was not impotent. The stretched fabric on the front of his underwear gave that away very clearly. I raised my brow at the sight, and let out a pleased breath. Dean shrugged – once again looking quite pleased with himself. He knew exactly how good looking he was.

I sat up and took his hand; pulling him down over me again. This time he didn’t play around. He pushed me to lay down against the pillow – and sucked gently at my nipple – before moving down to my panties, and pulling them off me. Lifting my knee, he put it over his shoulder – gave me a quick smirk – before brushing his lips over my lower ones. “Oh!”, I gasped, as he gently blew at my nub. “This ok?”, he breathed. “Uh huh…”, I moaned.

Dean kissed my bundle off nerves, and then licked over my labia with a flat tongue. His index finger parted my lips and felt for my wetness – apparently striking gold from the sound of his chuckle. The finger entered me down to the knuckle, and bended upwards. I whimpered loudly. “You sure you don’t wanna just watch a movie?”, Dean grinned up at me. “Dean!”, I pleaded with a raspy voice. He chuckled again, and got back to work.

And some work that was. Dean added another finger, and moved them in and out of me – occasionally crooking them upwards – all while gently kissing my nub over and over. “Please…”, I croaked. He opened his mouth slightly, and sucked the little pebble into his mouth; playing with it with the tip of his tongue.

I grasped at the covers underneath me, breathing raggedly; and cursing in a language I didn’t even know myself. Everything went white, as Deans fingers picked up speed, and he sucked at me harder. “Come on, baby”, he breathed; and sucked my nub into his mouth again. His fingers pressed hard upwards – and suddenly I was flying; soaring above the bed as I came. Dean kept going, and I looked down at him, meeting his mischievous eyes. He was going to draw this out. His fingers continued their attack, and his mouth wouldn’t let go off me. I tried to pull backwards – not sure how much more I could take – but he used his free arm to wrap over my thigh and hip, and held me fast against his face.

“I… can’t…”, I sobbed; when suddenly my walls quivered even harder, and it felt like I exploded into tiny little atoms. Every part of me was on fire, and my body convulsed under Dean. I realized then, that what I had felt before was not an orgasm. This was an orgasm – and the most intense one I’d ever had to boot. I cried out my pleasure, and – finally – Dean relented; letting go of me from his lips, and gently withdrawing his fingers from my still throbbing core.

He came up to lay next to me, putting his arm over my belly. “You still with me?”, he chuckled. “No…”, I croaked. “You know, you say that a lot”, he grinned; and pulled me close to him. I felt his erection poke at my thigh. “Don’t worry about it. Come down to earth first”, he said softly. I nodded. “Wow…”, I said. “That was… something else”. “I know”, Dean smirked. “You are so full of yourself!”, I chuckled.

Finally feeling by body relax, I stroked his cheek; and leaned in to kiss him again. As he pulled himself to lay halfway over me, I put one arm around his back, holding him close – while my other hand travelled down his torso. My fingertips grazed over the tip of his member; and he gasped softly. “I haven’t even touched you yet”, I smiled. “I don’t need you to touch me to feel the way I do right now”, he breathed. “It’s enough when you just look at me”. “Well, I’m not satisfied with just looking”, I said, and kissed him passionately, as I put my hand under the waistband of his boxers, and grabbed his hardness.

I stroked him gently – once in a while applying a bit of pleasure – as he just looked into my eyes. “If you could just do that forever, that would be great”, he croaked. “Really?”, I asked, and nibbled at his lower lip while he whimpered from my touch. “There’s nothing else you’d like to do?”. Darkness ghosted his face, and he quickly pulled off his underwear, and placed himself between my legs. “Hard or soft?”, he almost growled. “Anyway you want it, that’s the way you need it…”, I said quietly. He looked at me in amazement. “Where have they been hiding you?”, he asked. His penis probed my entrance, and using his hand to guide it; he pushed inside me with a agonizingly slow movement. He let me adjust to him for a moment, before – with a soft smile – he began moving.

I lifted one leg and wrapped it around his hips, pulling him towards me. We moved together slowly, stroking every inch of skin we could reach on the other’s body. Kissing my lips gently; I ran my nails down his back – letting him know that what he was doing to me was heavenly. “Lou… you’re gonna make this end much sooner than I’d like it to”, Dean warned me. I skimmed his arms with my nails, and raised a brow at him. “That’s it”, he said with a chiding tone.

With a swift move of Deans hips and his strong arms, I was suddenly on top. “Really?”, I smiled. “Now I have all the control”. “That’s what you think, sweetheart”, he smirked, sat up and caught my wrists; pinning them behind my back.

With his free hand, he grabbed my hip, and began controlling their movements. I struggled against his grip, which made my chest arch forwards; and Dean caught my nipple in his mouth – sucking at it. I grinded against him; and we moaned together – both smiling at the pleasure the other brought us. “You feel… awesome”, Dean gasped against my lips; catching me in another kiss. His hardness inside me – filling my insides perfectly – and the way my grinding caused friction to my clitoris; drew me closer to a second climax. I buried my face in the crook of his neck; and he finally let go of my wrists – letting me embrace him.

My newfound freedom let me move differently, and I began raising and lowering myself on his member – drawing even more wanton noises from his lips. My hands were in his hair, his were on my bottom; helping me rise and fall with his strong arms. “I need to…”, Dean croaked; and flipped us over again – placing my leg over his shoulder. The new angle immediately made me see stars, as the head of his penis rubbed at that special spot inside of me, his fingers had found before – every time he pulled back, and thrusted back inside me again.

Dean picked up the pace; and his breathing grew erratic. My tunnel was clenching around him more and more forcefully, until I finally cried out my climax. Deans brow furrowed. He was desperately trying to hold back; and quickly losing the battle. “Can I…?”, he croaked. I nodded fervently. With a few more hard thrusts; he came undone inside me. I pulled my knee down from his shoulder, and wrapped both my legs and arms around him, as he let go. Finally, he relaxed on top of me. I kissed him gently, and we smiled at each other. “Hi…”, he breathed; looking at me with hazy eyes. “Hey”, I chuckled.

Dean gently pulled out of me, and laid himself next to me; pulling me close, and kissing my shoulder. After a while of just cuddling, and looking at each other; nature called. “I have to…”, I muttered, and pulled out of his arms, as he groaned in annoyance. “Just… give me a few minutes. I’ll be back… Unless you wanna join me in the shower?”. His brows raised in pleased surprise. “I could use a hose down”, he grinned. “Call me when you’re ready”.

I did a naked run to the bathroom; hurriedly finished my business, and washed my hands – before opening the door to call for Dean.

In the middle of the room stood a broody looking man in a beige trench coat. “Jesus Christ!”, I yelped. “Not quite”, the man said with a disinterested voice.

---

#dean x oc #dean winchester x oc #dean winchester #dean winchester fic #supernatural fic #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester smut

[cosmicbash]

Kells waking up in bed and he sees shady above him, making him freeze and start to feel scared as fuck, wondering how the hell did he even got into his hotel room. Shady grins while he runs his hands on Kells gorgeous body and starts to whisper the most direst things ever in his ear. Basically shady Finally getting his hands on the blonde after months of stalking

Okay, it took me a bit cuz I started it at 3 am, forgot i started it and then got a headache BUT--

Here it is! Sorry its a mess and ends so abruptly but I dont want to make too huge of a wall of text.

---

A dip in his bed and the audible clink of metal is what first startles Colson out of his slumber. 

He's sprawled out on some admittedly comfy motel room bed, one arm stretched out above his head and the other resting on his stomach. Sleeping off a day long hangover instead of joining his band for a night of partying like he usually would. 

Colson's first instinct when he hears the noise is to rub the sleep from his eyes, maybe scratch his nose and see what the hell has woken him up. But when he tries to move his left arm it catches. The clink of metal on metal repeating itself.

Now the rapper is rapidly tumbling towards awake, eyes blearily shooting open and his legs kicking free of the thin blanket.

The first thing he sees is a blurry figure looming above him, and it sets his heart off into a frenzy. Free hand slapping so hard against his eyes he might have given himself a bruise in his haste to rub them clear. "W-who in the fuck-"

"Settle down princess, don't want you hurting yourself….just yet." The voice is soft, amusement tinging the edges. 

It's familiar, so familiar it sends a shiver down Colson's spine. There's no way he could mistake it for any other, not after years of listening to it blast on earbuds in his ears, the speakers of his car, fuck singing along to it.

It's Eminem.

Now with his vision settled there's a face matching the voice. Blue eyes looking near black from how dark the room is, most of face painted by shadows. The only reason Colson can recognize it is because of how often he's stared at pictures, videos, there's no way he could mistake the sharp nose and fuzzy cheeks for any other man.

Now his fear is mixing with confusion, anger, the barest hint of excitement. He almost wants to believe he's dreaming. How else would he be waking up in bed with his idol turned rival looming above him? It made no sense.

The bite of metal against his bony wrist destroys any chance of that. While he might have some kinky wet dreams every now and again, being handcuffed to his bed by Eminem was surprisingly not a common one. The opposite? Maybe once or twice. But this? This was absolutely terrifying.

"W-what are you doing in my room?" Colson hates how badly his voice cracks, it's still thankfully deep from his sleep but there's no way to hide the undertones of terror. "Is this- is this some kind of hit- fuck- are- are you here to murder me?"

Did his cocking off in the media finally cross some invisible line the older rapper had set? Was he actually about to get killed and have his body dumped somewhere like a scene out of an old gangster movie? Was Eminem that kind of rapper? One who preferred to do the dirty work himself instead of letting a lacky handle things?

A knuckle brushes across his cheek and makes him flinch. "Murder you? Hmm….I don't think I'm allowed to go that far." Colson's panic has officially risen to nightmarish levels. "Why don't we see how long it takes for me to get bored of you first?"

The hand tracing his jaw runs itself in a straight line down his exposed throat and past his collarbones. Nail digging into his pale skin just enough to scratch a light red line into his flesh. It's what finally makes him realize he's shaking.

"So white... your skin looks like its begging to be covered in bruises. Is that why you covered yourself in so many colorful tattoos?" Em hums curiously above him and Colson has to swallow the lump forming in his throat. Eyes wide and focused solely on the dark flutter of lashes covering the older rapper's own while he follows the path his finger takes down until it's pressing into the center of his stomach. 

Pushing until he's got to suck in a breath just to relieve the pressure. "Cat got your tongue Kelly? You sure seemed vocal on all those talk shows. Couldn't keep Marshall's name out of your mouth." 

The way Em refers to himself in second person is what finally startles a word out of his mouth. The paralyzing fear making way for a new wave of trembling confusion. "W-what?"

Em clicks his tongue above him and finishes his idle tracing to instead rub his whole palm up over the blondes sternum. Long fingers stretching open like he's testing his own grip span. "What? What?" The brunette mocks him lightly, fingertips tapping a tune into his collarbone for a minute before they continue their exploration. "I know you've steadily been melting your brain down into goo with drugs and alcohol but please tell me you're still capable of conversation."

"Fuck you-ah!" The same moment he gathers up enough courage to speak Em twists one of his nipples. Not hard enough to make him scream but enough for it to sting.

"Ah, ah, patience. We'll get to that eventually. For right now I want to get a good look at you, been thinking about scratching these tattoo's open for a while now."

Yanking hard on the cuff above his head Colson's fight or flight finally decides to kick in. Quite literally too with how his legs and back jerk to try and knock the other man off the bed and pull his wrist free.

Em only allows him to flail for less than a minute before suddenly thick thighs are slotting themselves over his thin hips. The heavy weight of another person bearing down on his own forcing his legs to still.

His upper body still twists and curls away from the pair of hands sliding their way up it. The laughter ringing out above him piercing his ears and body like a thousand knives. When Em's hands gently wrap around his throat it finally settles in for Colson just how utterly helpless he really is at that moment.

There's no escape readily available from whatever the older man has planned for him. It's got his heart thumping so hard in his chest he doesn't know how it hasn't already given out. 

One last fruitless buck up to try and unseat the rapper just rewards him with that grip around his throat tightening. Calloused fingers digging into the sides of his throat and thumbs pushing against his adam's apple until he's gasping and choking. Free hand slapping up against a watch covered wrist and failing to find any purchase anywhere but the sleeve of the other man's jacket. 

There's a second where his vision begins blacking out and his body goes limp that Colson actually thinks he's going to die. Sprawled out in his underwear on some egyptian cotton sheets and his lifelong idol straddling him to squeeze the life out of his body.

But then the pressure relents and his lungs are flooded with fresh air. Spit flying out of his mouth while he coughs and gasps, Em's hands moving to rub a comforting palm against his pec and cup his cheek. 

The look on the other man's face is one of pure delight, eyes fluttering across his flushed cheeks and teary lashes until they settle on the thumb he's pressing into the bottom of Colson's lip.

"You're so much prettier gasping for air than I had imagined. All pink cheeked and wet lipped after just one minute," There's a sick dreamy quality to Em's voice that has his body trembling against his will yet again. "Ah, ah, don't get scared. I told you, I can't kill you this time. Marshall made himself very clear on that rule."

"Wha-" Colson's throat aches and his head still feels fuzzy but he forces out the question. "What does that even mean?"

Em's smile grows impossibly wider, thumb pushing its way inside the blondes mouth until he's tasting the salty pad of skin. "It means, you're dealing with Slim Shady baby-"

The responding crunch of his teeth around flesh just elicits another cackle. Now that Shady has Colson where he wants him the attempts at rebellion are nothing more than foreplay.

The funs just beginning. 

#emgk #asks #i love asks #send me more asks #shady #this one got a bit #D u b i o u s

[osakaso5]

Momo 12 SONGS GIFT Rabbit Chat Part 3: Tell Us, All Stars! 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5

Yuki: Momo, happy birthday.

Mitsuki: Momo-san, happy birthday!

Riku: Happy birthday, Momo-san!

Tamaki: Momorin, hbd!

Yamato: Momo-san, happy birthday!

Tenn: Momo-san, happy birthday.

Nagi: Happy birthday, Mister Momo!

Ryunosuke: Happy birthday, Momo-san!

Iori: Happy birthday, Momo-san.

Sogo: Momo-san, happy birthday. I hope that we can continue to rely upon your guidance.

Gaku: Happy birthday, Momo-san!

Kaoru: Momo, happy birthday.

Banri: Momo-kun, happy birthday!

Momo: Thanks, everyone!!!!

Rinto: Thank you all for gathering here to celebrate Momo-kun! Takanashi-san, I'm sorry to entrust this to you like Anesagi-san did, but could you continue things from here, since you're so good at it?

Tsumugi: Alright!

Mitsuki: Momo-san, what kind of solo song did you pick?

Momo: It's a secret~!

Momo: I'll give you just the title! It's called "100% Happiness"!

Ryunosuke: That sounds great! It's perfect for you, Momo-san!

Tamaki: 'Cuz you're like, totally happy!

Momo: I know, right! Look forward to it!

Mitsuki: I'm sure the solo event will be a piece of cake to you, too! You're not going to have any trouble with the MC parts, live, or handshake event.

Momo: It's been a while since I did a handshake event! But that only makes me more excited!

Yuki: Maybe I should secretly participate, too

Rinto: You have work elsewhere, Yuki-kun!

Gaku: I think you'd be pretty easy to spot once you got in line (lol)

Sogo: It's surprisingly easy to go unnoticed if you wear a disguise.

Momo: Have you guys gone to see the other members' events?

Mitsuki: We've gone to see Iori and Tamaki's sports meet. We were in disguise, so it was all incognito.

Gaku: You and Osaka?

Mitsuki: No. Riku, Yamato-san, and Nagi came too.

Tenn: That's practically an all star crew.

Tamaki: You weren't fooling anyone...

Iori: You certainly weren't... I'm glad the students at our school are considerate about those sort of things...

Nagi: Iori and Tamaki have also come to study one of my shoots.

Tamaki: We did! That's the one where Nagicchi did a fashion mag shoot with a cat.

Riku: I heard about that! Apparently it was this rare, high-class cat. Did you go too, Iori?

Iori: Only as Yotsuba-san's chaperone.

Momo: You guys are so sneaky! lololol

Tsumugi: Well then, do you have anything to ask the others, Momo-san?

Momo: I wanna know what part of Yuki you like the most!

Yuki: It's your birthday, so you should make this about yourself for once lol

Momo: But this was the most exciting question I could come up with!!

Nagi: I know the feeling. I also want to collect an assortment of praise for Cocona, and preserve it for all eternity.

Momo: Right! Well then, I wonder what I should choose~!

Momo: I've decided!

Momo: Tell me how you make up with someone after a fight!

Sogo: A fight...

Momo: Yep! I'll be using these answers for reference in my daily life!

Yamato: When I think of you trying to make up with someone you fought with, only one person comes to mind.

Yuki: Oh. And who would that be?

Tsumugi: Ways to make up with someone after a  fight, it is! Understood!

Momo: I don't see you as the type to fight, Maneko-chan, but how would you do it? Like when the other person is at fault, for example.

Tsumugi: You're starting with me!? Well then...

Choices/outcomes:

1. I'd be the one to apologize!

Momo: Typical Maneko-chan! You don't want the fight to drag on for too long, after all!

2. I'd demand that the other person reflects on their actions!

Momo: You're pretty confident, huh!? I just hope that the other person really does think of what they did, instead of getting even angrier!

3. I'd let the problem solve itself!

Momo: That might be a good method, too! Even if you're fighting, you'll still talk to the other person when you really need to, and sometimes you just hve to force yourself to get along with other people!

Tsumugi: I hope my answer was fine... I'd like to hear everyone else's opinions, too!

Tsumugi: Let's start with you, Okazaki-san!

Rinto: Personally, I'd just apologize. Even if I believed I was in the right, I'd apologize for turning it into a fight.

Rinto: And on top of that, I'd try to discuss the matter with them once more.

Yamato: What an adult.

Momo: Totally! Okarin doesn't go back on his opinions, but he'll apologize as soon as things get awkward! That way, both parties will calm down at the same time!

Tsumugi: Thank you, Okazaki-san! What about you, Anesagi-san?

Kaoru: I'd never do that. When I have a fight off work, I'll never apologize...

Tenn: Is that so. You're more impartial at work, so that's a bit surprising.

Kaoru: I do know when I should just give in. I'm sick of fighting, and acting stubborn is just making me feel lonely.

Kaoru: But I tend to take on the stance that I can't forgive the other person that easily.

Momo: You want to make the other person realize that you're hurt or angry, right! I think that part of you is pretty cute, Kaoru-chan!

Tsumugi: I act like that with my father sometimes, as well... Thank you, Anesagi-san! Banri-san, you're next!

Banri: So, am I allowed to make this answer a more specific piece of advice for when you fight with a certain someone?

Momo: Honestly, yeah. Go ahead, Ban-san.

Yuki: Who is this "certain someone?"

Banri: Got it. This is the type of person who lives according to their own rhythm and beliefs, so if you try to force them to be on time when they're feeling off, or disrespect their beliefs, they become overstimulated.

Banri: When they're overstimulated, they may seem like a stubborn and overly desperate blockhead who doesn't listen to advice, but they're really just genuinely trying to stick to their principles no matter what.

Banri: So, as long as they have somewhere they can be alone, they'll bounce back on their own. Once they've done that, they'll be able to give a sincere apology.

Momo: I screenshotted that!! Thank you so much!!!

Tsumugi: Banri-san, thank you! Yuki-san, you're next!

Yuki: Me?

Yuki: I'll wait for the other person to apologize

Momo: Aaaaaaargh I'm gonna lose my mind

Momo: But I love you!!!!!*:.。..。.:*・゜ (*´▽`*)゜・:.。..。.:*

Yuki: Me too ^^

Tenn: Have you never been the one to apologize?

Yuki: I have. But those times aren't really fights, it's just that I'm more likely to apologize when the other person stops listening to me, storms off somewhere, or starts crying.

Sogo: It's important to cool down.

Yuki: I'm a musician, right? So I get more stimulated by loud noises.

Momo: What's that got to do with you being a musician!?

Yuki: I think. That when people yell at me, it sends an unstoppable rush of blood into my head.

Momo: When I get mad, I yell really loud!

Yuki: I know. Which is why fighting with you will make the blood vessels in my head nearly burst on their own.

Momo: I'm seriously considering buying a punching bag for whenever we fight!

Tsumugi: P-please don't fight, you two! ><

Momo: We're not! This is a totally normal conversation for us!

Yuki: We're not fighting ^^

Yuki: In that case, I'll buy you a punching bag as a present.

Momo: Thanks! I'll get you cooling sheets  for your head, too!

Yamato: As usual, I can't tell if these two get along really well or really badly....

Tamaki: Do you get stimulated when you hear loud noises too, So-chan?

Sogo: If anything, I think I get stimulus from fast tempos? That's why my head goes blank when I get nervous.

Yamato: So whenever you get nervous, we should all sing bossa nova together, got it.

Tsumugi: I'm glad you weren't fighting! Tsunashi-san, you're next!

Ryunosuke: How to make up after a fight, huh. I don't think I'd really be the one to apologize...

Momo: Really!? That's a surprise!

Gaku: Ryu's more stubborn than he looks.

Ryunosuke: If I think I'm in the wrong, I won't start a fight in the first place. So if I get into a fight, that means that I think I'm right.

Ryunosuke: I think it's pretty weird to go back on my own opinion just because it made someone else angry...

Momo: That's true...

Ryunosuke: So I think I'd try to compromise until the end. Listen to the other person's perspective, and tell the mine. We're not supposed to be fighting, after all.

Tenn: Right. You barely ever fight, anyway.

Ryunosuke: I guess I don't get angry a lot!

Tsumugi: Tsunashi-san, thank you! Yaotome-san, you're next!

Tenn: I'll do this in his stead.

Gaku: Why!?

Tenn: He's awfully aggressive, isn't he?

Gaku: And why are you talking like I'm not here.

Tenn: As surprising as it may be, he isn't actually trying to pick fights.

Yamato: I know what you mean!! There's been times when he came up to me and started talking all aggressively, and I got defensive because I didn't get that he was just greeting me.

Riku: Yaotome-san's really nice, but he feels kind of like a yanki at first!

Gaku: I wonder why. I'm just trying to act casual.

Tamaki: But I feel like it wouldn't help much if Gakkun started talking all politely...

Gaku: I'm just doing what comes naturally.

Ryunosuke: Gaku's cool, so maybe that's just the impact he has on people?

Momo: So Gaku, what would you do if you got into a fight?

Gaku: I think I'm about the same as Ryu. I'll apologize if I'm wrong. If I'm not wrong, I won't.

Iori: Then, if you and Tsunashi-san fought, how would you settle things?

Gaku: Who knows?

Ryunosuke: Have we ever had a fight?

Ryunosuke: We've never really had any major disagreements, either...

Gaku: I wouldn't mind if we disagreed on something for once. Like whether we prefer bread or rice for breakfast, or whether we like cats or dogs.

Riku: Then, what if you fell in love with the same person?

Ryunosuke: Me, falling in love with the same person as Gaku!? I guess I'd withdraw once I find out about Gaku's feelings?

Gaku: Why? I don't wanna win by default. We need to settle it fair and square.

Ryunosuke: I wouldn't want to bother you or the other person by forcing my own feelings on either of you. I guess that's what makes the two of us different.

Gaku: We really don't have a lot to fight over, huh.

Gaku: We didn't fight just now.

Momo: Thanks for the info! lol

Riku: Don't you fight with Tenn-nii?

Gaku: I do. But I think he tends to be right more often, at least when it comes to work.

Tenn: How honest of you.

Gaku: I'm right about private stuff more.

Tenn: That last part was unnecessary.

Tsumugi: Yaotome-san, thank you! Yamato-san, you're next!

Yamato: Sorry, wait a sec. I think my phone's running out of battery.

Yamato: Who here took the charger cord I keep in my room?

Nagi: Sorry, Yamato. My cord burned out, so I borrowed yours.

Yamato: I don't mind if you borrow it, but why is it connected to a USB plasma globe?

Momo: Lmao, lolololol I'll have to do that at Yuki's place sometime, lol

Nagi: Touching it makes me feel like a wizard :-)))

Mitsuki: Now Nagi's impulse purchase is in Yamato-san's room, lolololol

Tsumugi: Well then, let's take a 15 minute break!

Tsumugi: Until then, everyone!

#idolish7 #momo #12 songs gift #translation #re:vale #rabbit chat

[micah68riseabove-blog]

The Story

So, it’s been a year since I last had a conversation with my brother. He had called me around 12:30 on a Thursday night, which is odd. I hadn’t been sleeping well and took a look at my phone around 4 a.m. to see the missed call. So I called him back and left a message. Feeling worried I struggled to fall back to sleep. I finally gave up and had my coffee around 5:30 and then proceeded with my normal morning of getting the kids off to school. I hustled to get ready for a day of chaperoning at BizTown for Joe’s 5thgrade field trip. Still feeling worried I shot a text to Houston and called my Mom to see if anything was up. Unsure of why he had called, my mom said everything seemed to be okay. He was downstairs sleeping.

I periodically checked my phone throughout the day and finally got a text from Houston, upon his waking. He had the privilege of sleeping until his heart desired (insert eye-roll emoji here). Remember it was because of him that I’d been up since the 5 o’clock hour. He reassured me that he had just called to talk. My response was, “you really thought I’d be up after midnight, on a school night?” LOL We talked as I drove home from BizTown. We talked about everything. He had some concerns about our Dad. We talked openly about his struggle with addiction and he reassured me that he was doing well and taking good care of himself. He asked about the kids and my job and lots of things that other people don’t always take the time to ask me about. I even pulled over when I got close to home to make sure I could soak up the conversation, as these phone calls were rare. We said, ‘goodbye, I love you and can’t wait to see you next weekend.”

Well the next weekend came, President’s Day weekend, and we were supposed to head up for a visit. Life happens, ya know and Joe and I came down with the flu. The type of flu where nothing stays down and you don’t move much from the couch. We were down for the count so our visit was off. I still to this day think, “why?” Why in the world were we kept from visiting that weekend? I’ll never quite understand. Tony comforts me and says, “who knows, maybe you would have gotten into a fight or disagreement of some kind…maybe God was protecting you from things ending badly between the two of you.” It’s hard to imagine because we did get along so well, but I try to find peace in his suggestions. Some days it’s oh so hard…especially now as President’s Day weekend is again approaching. I find myself leaning towards anger again…anger that I didn’t get that last visit in.

One week after having the flu I went in to coach my Sunday Funday crew. I remember the morning so well…it was a power day (my favorite type of workout to coach). I even got to take some brag board pictures with a few of our dearest members. I headed out the door feeling great about the morning and called Tony to make sure he had Joe ready for baseball tryouts. I could hear something different in his voice and he told me to just come home. He said that we wouldn’t be going to tryouts and he’d explain at home. My mind was racing. I thought “oh my word, what the heck did those boys do.”

When I walked through the door Tony grabbed my phone, afraid someone else would call or text with the news. The boys, along with their cousin Hayden were up in Joe’s room. All they were told was to pack their suitcases…we’re going to Grandma’s for the week. They had no idea what had happened.

Tony proceeded to walk me down the stairs to the basement and as soon as we got down the steps, he said, “I’m so sorry to tell you, but your brother is dead.”

I immediately collapsed and screamed and cried louder and longer than anything I’ve ever heard. I collected myself at one point just enough to ask him if he was sure, how do you know. I had so many questions running through my head. He told me what he knew and once I calmed down a bit we knew it was time to tell the kids. Talk about nerves and emotions like you’ve never felt...Oh boy.

We called the boys down (Stella was at my sisters), sat by their sides and told them the hardest news they had ever heard in their young lives. They cried, asked questions, we hugged and held each other and from there I just didn’t know what to do. All I knew is that I couldn’t get to my parents and sisters fast enough.

In come our dear friends who took our dog, helped us pack and get out the door, Tony drove in what seemed like the longest trip of my life. A few hours later we got to my parents house where it was filled with people. I immediately hugged Dad and we just sobbed. I finally found my mom and hugged and cried with her as well.

When I say that my parents house was filled with people…I mean it. Standing room only with people showing their love and support. They brought homemade food all week long. My cousin even had to bring a third refrigerator over to store all the goodies brought our way. There were moments of laughter, uncontrollable tears and consoling, singing, reading and sometimes just mind-numbing silence as we all asked “why? What did you do Houston? This can’t be true. This cannot be our new reality.

Well, it is. We are approaching the one-year mark of Houston being gone. It’s by far been the toughest thing we have all gone through. I loved him so much. We shared a room from his birth until I turned thirteen and we had a special bond. To live without him is like an amputation. A part of me is gone and will never be back on this earth again. We all have to learn to live without him and to learn to live with the pain that his absence brings. It’s a pain that will never go away. It’s a pain that changes you. It takes determination and strength, day after day to put our best foot forward and live the best life we can without him here. He was special, one-of-a-kind.

As I write this, tears stream down my face in remembrance of that turmoil. Hearing the finality of “he’s gone” still hurts. The weeping and wailing of my parents will never leave my mind. Watching all 10 kids grow up in an instant through the reality of death is just heartbreaking

February will most likely always be my least favorite month and I’ll try to hurry through it, but at the same time, I refuse to let it own me. I will not allow myself to fall into depression. I will show up day after day and shine whatever light I may have in me. That is God, my friends. It is the strength of God that gives us the energy to carry on for each other. So February, you can suck it, cuz you’ve got nothing on us as a family.

#bandanastrong #livefullerlovedeeperlaughharder griefsucks februarysuckit

[qtsp00k]

Hey y'all. Don't know if I mentioned but I felt a presence in my new apartment and been talking to someone who helps keep a song in my heart. Felt like it was my ego interfering when I felt like calling the presents Bruce. Cuz that's my dad's name. And then when I heard my neighbors talking about Bruce who died recently before I moved in I thought oh well I'm probably not in Bruce's apartment right. Cuz that would be a lot. And I'm a music person and a joy who's singing downstairs all the time so to hear that Bruce was a musical person who played instruments and sang in the lobby all the time is like whoa someone stepped off this plane to make room for me here. That would be a lot of synchronicity. And synchronicity is all well and good but organizations aware of synchronicity can do quite a bit to manufacture it for someone.

Well today I didn't feel anything or anyone. My dolls look like dead lifeless corpses and I was so brain dead that I just stood in my apartment and couldn't even think of where I would begin to look for the hard drive that this art is on that I'm ready to put on a shirt since Y2K.

And I kind of flipped out on my friends. That happens from time to time because my hexahedral God mind is a lot to manage and I don't know if you've looked around the world but there's a whole lot coming.

So I finally managed to get myself together and I was feeling pretty spun and just left the apartment hoping to feel better by getting out of the house you know. And I go downstairs in the mailman is just shut the big door that my mailbox is in and he sees I'm carrying a box and he compliments my shoes and just thinks I'm cool and offers to carry the box out to the recycling for me and so I let him and I take that cue from the universe to get my mail.

The nice mundane task of getting mail. Right?

NOPE hahaha fn naw bro

My mailbox is full to the brim with mail for Bruce E Levens. So not only folks am I in Bruce's apartment and the presents here is definitely Bruce and it's not me being crazy or fearful about my dad having died without my knowing it or anything like that. I just see dead people and I'm brain damaged so even though that's not new to me I react to it like it's news to me.

But on top of this I just received confirmation with some more mind fuckery sprinkled on top for good measure.

My dad, Bruce Lee's, birthday is November 11th which is 11/11. E Levens is elevens. You can't make this shit up!

and this freaks me out initially and I just fistful pack everything back into that mailbox and I shut it and I go out and I just spin out in the parking lot literally moving in circles in my power wheelchair before I go back in and I have to look at that mail again because I've already convinced myself that I didn't see what I saw and even as I'm reaching into the mailbox to get out the mail that says Bruce 11s I'm thinking I'm going to look at it again and it's going to be something close to what I mistook it for and nothing's going on here. But I pull the mail out and it says Bruce e Blevins and I have the mail with me in my hand the whole rest of my day because I need that to ground me.

The day was not over yet because my Transit service was late late late late late late late. It rerouted and it reassigned and it rerouted and it reassigned and then eventually it lands on 418 for my estimated time pick up.

and sure enough at 4:18 it arrives and it's my favorite driver. An old truck driver who retired and then needed something to wake up in the morning and go do with his life that was helping other people and he has great stories and his father is assault of the earth and he loves seeing me and he is so happy that I've moved here and I can bring joy into the lives of old people.

418 is my birthday April 18th.

Now I don't know how I'm going to feel about this tomorrow but right now I just feel like laughing about it and it's freaky and it's weird and I've known all my life that I am God and now I'm talking about it and I thinking maybe talking about it is making me beat it even more consistently then I used to.

But last night I felt pretty okay about everything in the world and went right to sleep after the Donnie Darko CD finally gave out in my system and I actually took out the CD which I never take out the skipping CD cuz I just don't have my mind about me and I don't know how to do basic things at all I'm absolutely a retard if you were observing me just absolutely retarded yo.

And I realize that I understand and have this opportunity to also set the time on my stereo system which I have not done for a decade and I look at the time and it's 8:32 32 is the number of the CD I'm holding in my hand and it has expired Donnie Darko is the movie that I wanted to see the day I got out of mental institution and my mother would not allow it because my boyfriend's name was Donnie and the day before I went wondering after I got my chore done and found myself speaking to my ex-boyfriend Donny's father for hours.

Now I don't know if it's heavenly Father or if the Illuminati has my back but someone does and it feels like I'm still moving up.

Like everything is coming to a head.

And my challenge which I accepted before incarnating on this planet in this density is to not lose my mind completely and become a non-functioning schizophrenic like the bat majority in my bloodline.

Oh and did you know the once upon a Time it wasn't planets that told you something about yourself that you needed to know concerning the month in which you were born, but demons. That's right the month you were born in is associated with a demonic presence that sabotages you for the entirety of your life.

Mine is belfigor. Belfigor gives humans great ideas and those get rich quick and easy schemes to lure them into the sin of sloth and of course luring into sin is just luring someone off of the path towards heaven and putting them on the path towards hell. And that's a very linear time frame perspective of that so when you remove that linear time frame from it when you do sinful things you are simply in hell and when you do angelic things you are simply in heaven.

So yeah I fully acknowledged in the way that I sort of have access and try to look away from future events a lot of the time because I have an omnipresence and omniscience that comes along with knowing that one is God. So in a way I knew that the friend I had who was helping me to edit my art into vector form for putting on merchandise was going to rape me. But yeah I fully got raped in order to get my art onto a t-shirt for me to wear and for me to gift to all of my friends and for you to buy.

But deeper than that this idea that I can be an artist and make money just being an artist is entirely represented as a potential future for me to look forward to and I have sat 100% ready to kill myself and the only thing stopping me was that I hadn't gotten that image onto a shirt yet.

Now I think you know well and good that I am not lazy and I am not Lord into sin because I go willingly with open eyes when I do and I don't linger long in hell, but I do sing and dance the entire time I'm there. And I hope you know by now that my trying to come up and make something of myself as an artist and my full intent to become a household name that makes everyone forget Lady Gaga is entirely fueled by my mission in life that I have had firmly since I was 6 years old.

The evolution of human consciousness. Evolution of human consciousness brings about world peace and ends suffering for all.

So I'm not even over here struggling and hustling for myself. And that's more true than ever now that I have all of my basic needs met. and I tell you I think that's what's making the difference.

The other thing making the difference is that the devil has tempted me many times with outlets and avenues that are not in alignment with highest good and are not benevolent collaborations and I have walked away from success and I have walked away from Fame and I have walked away from money over and over.

Cuz I tell you being a little girl at age 6 who knows she's God I just wanted to unknow more than anything and I wanted anything to prove me wrong so badly that everything that came before me and claimed to be above me, to be God, I stepped. I said prove I'm not God cuz one of us is mistaken and I'm still standing.

Creation is just making sure that I am who I say I am just like it should.

[gojira007]

I wish you would write a fic where Sonic asks NICOLE for dating advice.

Sonic had no one else to turn to.

He’d considered Rotor, but he knew his question fell welloutside of the walrus’ area of expertise. Normally he would have gone to Bunnie, but she was away on an extendedmission, and there wasn’t time to wait for her to return.  Tails and (ugh) Antoine were definitely out.  That left only one option.

“Hey Nicole.  How’s ithangin’?”

The hedgehog watched as the computer’s monitor flickered tolife.  “What is up, my main ‘hog?” it greetedback.  

It hadn’t been easy convincing Sally to let him borrow NICOLE.  She rarely went anywhere or did anythingwithout it.  But persistence, a vagueenough excuse (“I just wanna chat with her a little, y’know?  Make sure she’s still up on the ol’ lingo!”),and the best use of Puppy Dog Eyes he could manage (the hedgehog feared the dayTails realized just how well those worked on Sally) had ultimately wonout.  Which brought him, at long last, tothe point.  “Oh, nothin’ much,” he said,pulling up a chair next to the table he had placed NICOLE on.  “Still the fastest, coolest dude on the block.  How ‘bout you?”  …well, almostto the point.

“All systems functioning within normal parameters, systemsrunning at optimum efficiency, and battery power is full,” the computeranswered.  “In other words: everything isawesome, dude.”

Sonic grinned at that; Sally was less than fond of it, buthe rather enjoyed getting to hear all the little words and ideas NICOLE pickedup from his time with it.  He wasespecially grateful for it now; it made the next part feel more like an actualinteraction and not…well…stupid.  “Glad t’hear,my main-est frame, glad t’hear,” he said. “Say, since you have a minute, think you could give this ‘hog a hand?”

“With what, Sonic?”

“Well…see, as it so happens, um…”  Ah heck. Why was this always the parthe got hung up on?  He could stare down adozen SWATBots and not break a sweat, but thiswas what threw him?  But then…thatwas just the way it was for him when it came to…  “Sally…she’s pretty great, right…?”

There was a moment’s pause before the computer said, “Affirmative.”

“Heh…yeah,” Sonic said, leaning back on the chair with alittle sign.  “And ‘cuz she’s so awesome,I’m thinkin’ maybe…y’know…I should finally take her out on…like…a date?”

“A date?” Nicole said, with a tone of bemusement Sonic didnot usually hear in its synthetic voice. “As in, a date-date?”

“Yyyyyyyyyeah….” Sonic answered, now balancing the chair onits back legs.  “I mean…it’s kinda weirdwe haven’t done that already, right?”  

He looked away from Nicole’s monitor, staring up at theceiling while still keeping the chair balanced. “The war with Robotnik is still ongoing,” NICOLE said, its voice flatand droning again.  “It is only to beexpected that certain social conventions, like ‘dating’”, and that word broughtwith it that amused lilt again before it left, “cannot be properly observed atthis time.”

“I know, I know,” Sonic said, finally bringing the chairback down to the ground.  “But she ‘n’ me…we…feelThat Way about each other.  We sure act That Way with each other.  And…” He sighed, looking NICOLE square in its monitor.  “And she deserves it, too.”

Again the computer paused before replying, “Affirmative.”  The monitor flickered a bit, and it continued,with that same bemusement, “But this is a question you had already answered foryourself.  What specifically did you wantto ask me, Sonic Hedgehog?”

He grunted a bit, drumming his fingers along the table.  “Look, Nicole…”  Drum, drum, drum.  He focused on that rhythm.  “You know me. Cool as they come, faster than fast, all things Awesome in oneconvenient hedgehog-shaped package.  But…”  Drum, drum, drum, quicker now.  “But…if I’m gonna do this…I wanna do it right. And the truth is…”  Drumdrumdrum, quickerand quicker still.  “I don’t know how.”  That last statement came out as a bitingsnap, and the hedgehog slid his fingers off the table with equal emphasis.  “Like. At all.”

NICOLE was silent. Sonic looked at her, and saw a loading circle playing out on hermonitor.  He was about to ask if thecomputer was even paying attention when the circle finished.  The moment it did, the computer began to playa soft, repeating clicking sound…in rhythm with what Sonic had been doing withhis fingers a moment ago.  “The sound seemedbeneficial to your concentration,” the computer said, “so I decided to recreateit to improve your ability to speak your mind. Please, continue.”

At first, Sonic was unsure, but…listening to it…followingthe beat…yeah, this could work.  He beganto tap his feat alongside the sound as he continued, “It’s not enough to makethis date ‘special’, it’s gotta be special for Sal.  And the way I figgerit, you know her better than almost anyone, so…since I don’t have the bestbrains in the biz for this business, I thought maybe I’d see if you had anythoughts in that big ol’ database of yours.” He folded his arms, still toe-tapping along.  

“Thanks for thinking of me,” NICOLE said with surprising warmness,then, more coolly, continued, “But while I may possess an acute understandingof the princess’ thought process, habits, and tactical abilities, I cannot beof assistance to you in this matter.”

“Aww c’mon, Nicole,” Sonic sing-songed as he hopped out ofthe chair, still tapping along to the beat. “Try not bein’ a computer for once. What d’you think I’ve been teachin’ you all this time?”

“You misunderstand,” the computer replied.  “I do not mean that I am incapable ofanalyzing this matter from a non-computerized perspective.  Rather, I am referring to the fact that,under the terms you have laid out, any date I plan would not be sufficient foryour purposes.”

That finally threw off Sonic’s rhythm enough to cease his foot-tapping.  “Uh…run that by me again?” he said.  “In Plain Old English, this time?”

“You want to make a date that best expresses your feelingstoward Sally.  Your feelings.”  The computerfinally turned off the clicking sound.  

Sonic, however, rolled his eyes, scooping the computer upoff the table and poking a finger into its monitor.  “But that’s the whole problem, Nicole!” he said.  “Idon’t know how to do that.  I literally just said so, weren’t you listening?”

“Yes, I was.  Veryclosely,” the computer replied, and there was another shift in its voicethen.  Softer, slower.  “Sonic, you know you will always be thecoolest ‘hog around.  But you do not needto be The Coolest all the time.  Do you not trust Sally with your feelings?”  The monitor’s glow seemed to brighten just atouch.  “Isn’t that one of the reasonswhy you care about her so much?”

Slowly, Sonic removed his finger from NICOLE’s screen.  He opened his mouth to speak, but was silentinstead, looking to the ground for a moment. Then he looked back at NICOLE, again opening his mouth as if to say something,only to again fall silent. He sighed, looking down again and scuffing theground with his feet.  “…yeah…” hefinally whispered.

“Then the best advice I can give is to trust those feelingsyourself,” NICOLE said.  “They are partof why Sally cares for you. If you let them guide you, I believe you will find the way.”

Sonic smiled, placing the computer back on the table.  His feelings…his trust…maybe he really had known the answer all along afterall.  “…thanks, Nicole,” he said, pattingthe computer’s keypad gently.  “Sal…me and Sal are both pretty lucky t’have a pallike you around.”

“I am glad to have provided sufficiently acceptable adviceto help you, Sonic,” it said, no trace of the earlier emotions Sonic hadheard.  

Just then, a familiar voice echoed from outside.  “Sonic? Are you almost done in there?”

“Wrappin’ it up as we speak, Sal,” Sonic called back, openingthe door.  As the princess entered, hezipped next to the table, leaning next to NICOLE.  “What can we do for ya?”

“Bunnie just got back from her mission,” the squirrelreplied, “which means we can start preparing our next move.”  She looked to NICOLE then.  “That means I need you, NICOLE.  I hope Sonic hasn’t broken your programming too badly.”

“My main ‘hog and I had a very productive conversation,” thecomputer replied.

Sally rolled her eyes. “I really hate when she calls you that,” she sighed.  “You ready, Sonic?”

Sonic looked to Sally, then to Nicole.  And as the squirrel began to close the smallcomputer, he could swear there was a little “😉” on its monitor.  With a chuckle, the hedgehog put his hand toSally’s shoulder.  “Yeah, Sal,” he saidwarmly, “I think I am.”

#sonic the hedgehog #satam sonic #nicole #sonsal #fanfiction #fanfic #gojira007 #bunnikkila #i wish you would write a 'fic

[moricatlibrary]

Meeting Her Family

It’s Ymir’s birthday so here is a short little YumiHisu comfort drabble!

In which modern American Historia brings Ymir to meet her previously-estranged big sister for the first time! And Ymir proves what real love is.~ (tw: homophobia; family issues)

Enjoy if you can!<3

Historia pulled Ymir as close to her as possible. She couldn't contain her excitement, and Ymir cherished every second of it. Historia was so rarely thrilled in the past due to her obsession over being the perfect girl, that every time she was excited by something, Ymir felt like she was witness to a cosmic wonder.

"Ymir, this is going to be so great! Meeting my family for the first time, however small, is a sign of our future being sealed." she said with a shameless hubris in her soft pink sweater that topped her flowy pale pink, knee length skirt.

"My sentiments exactly, babe." the ravenette grinned in her lavender grey top over tight black pants, cocking her head to the side in that handsome way Historia adored.

Historia smiled back, but then suddenly grew quiet. "...Are you nervous?"

"What? Not in the slightest! Your sister loves you, right? Then she'll have to love me too cuz I love you. That's just how these things work, you know." Ymir explained with pride.

Historia smiled softly and let her head fall against her girlfriend's brawny shoulder. How could anything go wrong?

The girls finally arrived at the front door of Frieda Reiss, which put the dance back into Historia's step as she knocked furiously until it was answered, her big childish grin making Ymir's heart leap.

Finally, Frieda came and opened the door with a smile for her recently reunited baby sister.

Historia squealed, "Hiii, Friedaaa!!!" before flinging her arms around her for a hug, making Ymir smile and Frieda chuckle.

"Hi, sweetie! I'm so glad to see you again. And who is this... lovely person you wanted me to meet so badly." she asked, the joy in her voice ever so subtly trailing off at the end once her eyes met Ymir's.

Ymir pursed her lips, wondering if she should be offended by that change of tone.

"This is Ymir!" Historia explained as she hugged her lover's warm arm. "She's my girlfriend."

"'Sup." Ymir greeted, holding out her slender but virile hand to shake the pretty woman's.

Frieda almost seemed reluctant to shake it, but to her relief, the timer in the kitchen rang and she was able to change the subject. "Ah, that's my pork loin! Well, please come in and get comfortable, I hope you enjoy your stay!" the beautiful woman beamed, ushering the lovers inside, despite Ymir clearly still holding her hand out with a raised eyebrow, waiting for her to shake it.

The 3 sat at Frieda's humble kitchen table to chat intimately. Historia told her many stories about her adventures with Ymir and how proud she was to be with her. And most importantly, without a doubt, how much she loved her. Ymir maintained her lax, proud, and happy attitude, and by all accounts it was a really pleasant visit. Though Ymir couldn't help but notice the slight look of horror on the hostess' face during their conversations.

An hour or 2 later, Ymir finally excused herself. "Mind if I, uhhh?"

"Oh, ah right down the hall and to the right." Frieda told her with an awkward smile, and watched as the tall freckled girl disappeared into the bathroom, leaving her alone with her little sister.

"Isn't she great?" Historia grinned. But to her surprise, Frieda wasn't smiling anymore.

"Historia... Why are you with this girl?" she asked in a quiet gloomy tone.

Historia's countenance deflated at the sound of her question. "What do you mean?"

"...Well, I just- I wonder if this is really the best person for you. I mean, it's nice that she loves you so much, but... She's a trouble maker. She's selfish. She's mean. She's a little scary... And she's... Um..."

Historia frowned, sad to hear any sort of disapproval from the one figure from her stolen childhood who loved her. "She's what?..."

"...A girl?" Frieda finally told her, making Historia's heart ache. "You're a good girl, Historia. People love a good, nice girl like you. And I hate to think that you'd be throwing yourself away on this sinful sapphic experiment of yours."

Historia's eyebrows furrowed, but tears also pooled in her crystal blue eyes. Normally, she'd use all her strengths to punch anyone who said anything like that about Ymir. She wouldn't even wince about doing so if anybody else had said those awful things. She hadn't even cried for any reason since she'd become Ymir's girlfriend. But this was her sister... The one person in her awful family that she loved, the one person in her blood ties she felt she could depend on. Someone she believed would love her unconditionally and support her in her path to happiness no matter what. But she didn't. She disapproved of the woman who came into her life and saved it from certain doom at Historia's own hands. The woman who told her to be herself and live her life with pride no matter what was against her. Who told her it was good to value herself and take care of herself, because it was a sin to self destruct like she had been doing. The person who loved her so much that she was willing to put her own selfish principles on the line without question in order to protect her from harm. "How could you?..." Historia whispered.

"Hm?"

"How could you?!" she yelled softly. "That's the woman I love! This life I'm living with her is the prize I've won for conquering the battle against myself! The woman who saved me from hurtful ideas that /you/ put into my head! And you dare to say she isn't good enough for me? That she is bad for me? That it's a sin because I'm with a girl?! You're my sister. I expected better of you than this cruel betrayal..." Frieda seemed shocked to hear those things, her expression seemingly reading guilt and regret, but that was a conversation Historia would have to continue later, as she was far too upset to think. She whipped around and decided to leave.

Ymir came out of the bathroom sighing in relief after a good long piss, only to find her blonde sweetheart furiously stomping her way. "What's up with you, babe--"

"Come on, Ymir, let's go!" Historia growled, yanking Ymir by the hand and leading her out the door.

"Ah- Okay-- Thank you for dinner, Miss Reiss!" she called out, never forgetting how important it was to the both of them that this evening go well, but Historia pulled her out of the house so fast, she had no chance to hear a reply.

Historia grumbled to herself, muttering all the way down the sidewalk to Ymir's stolen, beat-up car, clutching her hand a little too tight.

Ymir wasn't exactly sure what was going on but opened the conversation to help her out of her contained rage. "Hey, uhh... You alright? Talk to me."

Historia didn't respond.

They finally arrived at Ymir's dented old Nissan, and Historia began furiously pulling at the door handle on the passenger's side waiting for it to open. Ymir frowned in concern and casually unlocked the driver's side to sit in her seat and reached over to unlock Historia's side. The fiery blonde's door finally opened and she flopped down into her seat, slamming it shut and crossing her arms.

Ymir looked at her with worry, having several guesses as to why she might be upset, and placed a loving hand on her girlfriend's little shoulder. "Hey... Tell me what's wrong."

Historia looked at her, into those beady loving eyes surrounded by stringy black bangs, and couldn't help the tears that squeezed their way out of her own. She wiped her eye and only replied quietly. "One guess..."

Ymir let a sigh breeze through her nose. "I'm sorry..." came her sullen reply.

"What?! Don't apologize for that, you should be angry! You should be defensive, you should yell and tell off anyone who does that to us, like you always do!" Historia yelled angrily. "You should--"

"Stop." Ymir told her softly. "That's your sister. Don't condemn her like that. She's the only family you have... I don't want you to throw her away. Whether she likes me or not, you should try to keep your relationship in good standing. Talk to her eventually when you've calmed down about this."

Historia swallowed the hot lump in her throat and frowned again. "Ymir... Why wouldn't she love you? You're so good for me, and I'm crazy about you! What if... she doesn't love me after all?"

Ymir quickly silenced her, and furiously explained "It does not mean that! It means she's naive like a lot of other normal people in this world. It means she doesn't know you so well yet. Any formerly estranged sister might run into that problem. It means you take the opportunity to teach her..."

Historia hugged herself and shut her eyes, pressing her cheek against the plush smelly fabric of the seat as she faced her girlfriend who was telling her all the things she didn't want to hear.

"Historia..." Ymir purred sympathetically as her hand caressed the pretty girl's warm exposed cheek. "...I know how it feels to truly have no one but yourself. And it sucks ass. No matter how strong we try to be about it, it sucks ass... But you have someone. Not a perfect someone, but a caring someone. Yes, if it were anybody else, I'd say fuck 'em and move on. But I want you to try and hold onto this opportunity. I refuse to be someone who takes that away from you."

Historia's hand slipped over Ymir's squeezing it tight. "Why can't she see this? Why can't she see this love we share that keeps me going?"

"Because she hasn't had a real chance yet. Give her time." Ymir said, her thumb gently brushing along the blonde's reddened cheek.

"...Okay." Historia finally whispered. "Okay. I will talk to her again later..."

"I'm glad to hear that." the butch girl smiled.

Historia finally sighed in relief and relaxed again, sniffling only a little as she sat up in her seat, buckling her seatbelt. "Can we go do something fun tonight?"

"Sure, babe." Ymir simpered, starting the old engine and turning on Historia's favorite pop-rock station to sing along to some fun power ballads with her.

Historia couldn't help smiling again before long. Between belting out angry pop songs with big grins and pranking the town with the love of her life, it was hard not to be happy again. Ymir really did make her so happy. It didn't matter who approved and who didn't. And the deep tongue kisses she gave her in the moonlight as they water-ballooned Jean's car in the late hours of the night confirmed that fact with utmost certainty.

#yumihisu #yumikuri #ymir #historia reiss #snk #aot #christa lenz #krista lenz #i dont really find much time to write anymore but im glad i had a moment to write fluff for my gay daughters<3333 #sorry for touching on less than fun topics tho >~< i try not to do that very often but i'm just so intrigued by the romance of the snk kids #overcoming their conservative families' bullshit with their powerful love #gay #lesbian

[chocodeedee]

EDIT: so part 2 is here if anyone wants it?

So it’s hella late where I am right now and I need to get up at 5:30 tomorrow morning but I don’t care cuz @smosh-stuff has a musical theatre camp AU going right now and I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE IN MY LIFE

But here’s the thing… I want them to be in a fine arts/performing arts school

Smosh High School for the Performing Arts

So I have some ideas…. Hear me out guys

And this is gonna be loooooooooooong

Lasercorn didn’t really want to be in shows or perform, he was into the technical aspects of theatre

He was very happy in the soundbooth

(actually he was really happy interrupting Joven’s monologues with fart noises and babies crying, or silencing the mics of people who were singing badly or over acting)

(oh and he loved shouting slightly degrading words of encouragement from the back when the directors weren’t looking)

His sound booth also served as a sanctuary during meal breaks as long as NO ONE GOT CRUMBS ON THE BOARD

But they reeeeeeaaaalllllllyyyyy needed some extra soldiers in their production of Aida

And he only had to be in Fortune Favors the Brave

So he agreed assuming that he would hate it… but it was actually really fun?

And their spring musical is going to be Sweeney Todd

He loves Sweeney Todd (maybe just for all the murdering and darkness but who cares)

So he’s sometimes is in the cast, sometimes is in the crew.  When he’s in the show, Joe takes care of sound and everything ends up fine

He;s over all the drama though

If the leads and/or basically anyone gets in a fight during rehearsal he’ll just slink back into the soundbooth and wait it out

But when he chooses to engage it’s intense

He can single handedly shut down a fight by yelling for a few minutes

And as much as everyone loves him, they’re scared to death of him too

Matt Sohinki has no idea what he’s doing at a fine arts school but his parents told him to “broaden his horizons” and suddenly he was enrolled

He liked and was pretty ok at standup comedy, but that was it

He auditioned because it was sort of expected of him

He didn’t expect to actually get in

And suddenly he was in the chorus of Hairspray and it was GREAT

He found that he really liked being in shows, but still likes his standup comedy more

So he doesn’t do every show, just the ones he particularly likes

He serves as an objective person to vent to when things get shitty

He also brings his friends coffee during hell week and makes sure they’re alive and keeping up with their academic school work

Also, he’s a decent dancer, but definitely not trained

He can fake his way through musical choreography but ask him to choreograph and/or dance for anything else? NOPE

Generally speaking he’s just really chill, but sometimes feels like he doesn’t belong with the theatre kids

But he loves performing and his friends and it’s worth it

But he still loves stand up comedy more, sorry y’all

Let’s talk about Joven who actually did music theatre in high school where his stage name was freaking Showtime

Joshua Showtime Ovenshire

This man loves theatre and loves performing with all of his soul

HIS DEDICATION IS OUTMATCHED BY NO ONE

But he’s never the leading man, just the supporting second

Important but doesn’t get the credit he deserves

He’s neve Jean Valjean but Thénardier, not Link Larken cut Corny Collins, not Fiyero but Boq and so on and so forth

This probably frustrates the hell outta him and during hell week the Jovenrage is REAL

But he’d put the good of the show first…. No matter how salty he is that Wes and Shane are the leads AGAIN

Oh Wes, my small child

He’s just really excited about performing

He gets really excited about all art, but music theatre just makes him so happy and excited

And he’s REALLY FREAKING GOOD AT IT

AND HE DOES EVERYTHING

He somehow is able to be in the school choir, show choir, take dance classes and private voice, be the lead in a good chunk of school musicals and pass all of his academic classes with flying colors too

The man just does it all

And he’s so humble that you can’t even hate him for it

He’s funny and gives really good speeches in the green room during circle

But when he gets frustrated it really sucks

He sometimes just shuts people out and tries to memorize lines for hours

He’ll dance himself to exhaustion because he doesn’t think it’s good enough yet

Everyone thinks he’s amazing, and he thinks he has to keep it up at all times

Joven has to remind him that it’s ok to take a break sometimes, and he’s human, he’s not perfect

Shayne freaking Topp love of my life is the other “leading man” of the squad

He’d rather act than sing, but he can do both just fine

He makes a beautiful Link Larken

Just sayin

He’s dedicated to the shows he does, but can’t help but goof off if he thinks no one is looking

And dear lord when Damien transfers in they never get anything done

EVER

But he knows how to get serious when he needs to

He plays all the stereotypical pretty boy roles

He was Warner in Legally Blonde, Link Larkin in Hairspray, Sky in Mamma Mia, Danny Zuko in Grease etc.

He gets frustrated at the real lack of character development and character in his roles

But sometimes it’s fun being shallow, and he does straight shows a lot so he gets to be deep and full of emotions there

His best friends Damien transferred in their sophomore year

It was the worst/best thing to ever happen to the theatre and music theatre departments

Like Shayne, Damien has a set of pipes but he prefers acting

But he’ll do musicals

Those two have incredible onstage chemistry as well as off-stage chemistry

Demien is incredible at physical comedy

He can do any stunt that you can think of for any show that you ask him

If the directors need a character with a great physical presence and comical, they ask Damien to audition

He and Shayne never get anything done together in rehearsal

But somehow they make it work in the end

No one knows how they do it but they’re really glad that they do

Damien just kind of integrated himself into the theatre department and is here to stay now

Also if Shayne won’t play a pretty boy, Damien sure as heck will

Let's talk about Mari

We all know Mari’s home is in the dance studio

Dance is her passion and no one will deny it

And SHE CHOREOGRAPHS FOR ALL THEIR SHOWS

Sometimes she choreographs whole shows and sometimes she just fills in the gaps where she’s needed

But everyone loves and hates her at the same time

Her choreographer looks amazing but everything hurts and you regret your life while doing it

She comes in close to performance time and cleans and if she doesn't like what she sees everyone will die

But when she’s not choreographing she is one of the music theatre departments favorite non-theatre kids

Flitz comes in as a close second though

I don’t think Flitz would want to be in shows at all, but he’s a number one fan

He’s very happy in the dance studio and supports all of his friends and go to all of the performances

He, along with Sohinki, tries to make sure everyone stays alive when things get stressful

He always has a joke to cheer everyone up and acts as another objective person to scream to about the show

He also helps people learn their lines, even if he’s a really bad actor

And that’s all my brain can spill out for now but I have a zillion idea and Noah, Keith, Courtney and Olivia all fit in there somewhere

I’ll be back with more, promise

#smosh #smosh games #smosh games au #damien haas #shayne topp #mari takahashi #jovenshire #lasercorn #sohinki #flitz nerdsworth

[rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip]

Origins

Mom of the group #2 

OK, this didn't blowup like the last post I did about Tornado of Creation but the original to this was rebloged so heres Melodys Origin's and an explanation of her EM power.

(Context/pt 1)

First things first elemental power

The elemental master of music can do several things depending on the song and tempo. And can share the affect with a given party as long as they have the right training.

Classical music acts a lot like every song that is going to be listed but it isn’t as strong. note, the music of instrumental picks up in the wind, so let’s say The Weekend Wip was being used, you’ed here the instrumental. This is the most common tactic thats used by EM’s of Music.

Pop music, gives energy to allies and its user. It basically gives them a boost. Weekend Wip is most commonly used by Melody when she and the others fight.

Rock/Metal/Rap music, these go together cuz they pretty much do the same thing, Rap being more potent tho. Strength is increased but it can only apply to one person at a time, so Melody sings a Rock or Rap song she has to make a choice to use it on herself or one of the ninja

Edge songs, see point above on Rock/Metal/Rap songs. But it exclusively only applys to its elemental master.

Using a high pitch creates a sonic scream to knock people back. Using a low pitch acts as a shield.

Calm songs, like lullaby's, calm a human or an animal/creature down. It also helps people relax. This effect can apply to everyone that can hear it. Melody usually uses this in there down time to help with relaxing or trying to calm a member of the team down, mostly Kai.

Sad songs, they hit everyone within ear shot with heavy emotions, even bring back some sad memories for people. But this also effects the user as they can loose themselves in it leading to an activation of there 'true potential'

True Potential, when an elemental master of song uses this it gets destructive... You know through beat wheel/bar things that measure just how loud something gets? Well that's what happens and a good 300 km radius is covered messed up. But if the master has some control over it they can shrink the size of the radius. They also have the option to not have a radius at all and just store all that energy inside them and use it for physical attacks. Although you should only do this if you have full control over the element or else you could end up hurt or worse. 

True Potential ties down to one or two songs, but normally one.

Side note, Melody doesn't like using her True Potential because she can't normally control it. So to clarify, she knows how to use it before the guys unlock theres, but refrains from using, and when asked she says it could take out a city block, questions stop after that said.

-

Melody is the youngest of 4 children, she has two older twin sisters, Royal being the oldest, and Destiny being the second oldest. Then there's Angel.

Angle is like 2 years older than Melody. 

 Both she and Angel are EMs of Music much to the dismay of there older sister Royal. She believes as the oldest its her birth right to have the powers not them. This leads to major resentment and abusive like tendancys from the oldest sibling. Destiny is more calm though, yes shes a little upset she didn't get them to, but I kinda relieved as both Melody and Angel got there powers around puberty and with constant voice cracks at a high pitch its difficult to control a short sonic scream from happening.(fun fact Melody and Angel both unlocked there powers as they where singing along with one of Cole's dads records, so when she meets him on there quest for the fang blades she fan girls a bit)But she tries her best to support her siblings through this. Their dad is the one they inharated there powers from. He's a pro boxer. His name? Devilin Loren Green and he’s an ass. Why? Well when he found out his two youngest where EM's he forcibly trained them in the way of boxing. Bastered didn't even hold back. He said we wanted his kids to be boxers like him even though they had different interest. He pushed Melody more than Angel tho, he wanted her to compete in the men's league dispit her protest. And like I mentioned before, Royal has a strong hated of her younger siblings so she supports her dad through this abuse. There mom(and Destiny) on the other hand doesn't. There moms name is Harmony. Harmony is the classic TV mom that's as sweet as cake but when pissed off she will rip you a new one. For the most part aside from the abuse the two youngest face, normal everyday family. By the time the two youngest start high school things take a turn. Royal has moved out and so has Destiny.

Now we enter Griffin (YEES FAST BOI). Griffin is your classic high school play boy. He's the track star as well as soccer as well. All the girls swoon over him as she and his friends walk the halls, Jax Wildthorn among them since he’s his best friend and all. Now since at that Melody is tired from all the training she doesn't pay attention to him and his possy. Griffin on the other hand is captured by Melody, sure for her looks but she doesn't pester him like the other girls, plus she was just like him, and elemental masters, so naturally he tries to pursue her. 

Know that both Griffen and Melody are the same age, Mel being older by like two months, Griffen gets to know Jax through a mutual friend. 

At this point Jax has become good friends with Angel(all reality there on a flirting basis whenever they see each other). Through this connection they learn that every month Melody visit this barbershop other have her hair cut and cleaned, and that one barbershop.(for anyone that curious the Barbershop is called Tony's Magic Hands its run by this supper enthusiastic Italian guy named Tony) so like a reasonable teenager he picks up a part time jod there, and as lucky would have it he was able to cut her hair that month.

"Hey Tony! I'm here for my usual"

"Melody! Good see your in good health, I currently have my hand's full so our new guy will be assisting you! Don't stress he's a natural!

"I'll take your word for it!" She its in the usual chair and to her surprise Griffin steps out with a smile.

"Griffin Turnner?"

"One and only!"

"Your not going to mess up my hair as some joke, are you?"

"Phfff what no never!"

"Uh, huh,"

"Well just sit back and relax I got this sweet cheeks!"

To Melody's surprise, Griffin was a natural, sure Tony or one of the other guys would usually do this and damn they where good, but Griffin? D A M N he was better. This leads to a fast friend ship sparking between the two,(there ship name is SonicNote). Every month the day of her hair cut she reminds him of it, which he wouldn't forget for the world. They even go as far as trying new hairstyles. But as time goes on Melody falls in love with him and they start to date, around this time Jax and Angel are dating too.

So lots of double dates

Sleepovers

Sharing of food

Movie marathons

Skipping training

They just hang and have fun!

But things go a little far after they decide to go to a party. As natural they get drunk. Griffin and Melody, well let's just say they both lost there v-card that night. At first they just blew it off as "whatever we where drunk, and in the moment" but goes to full on panic when not only is Melody feeling sick but misses the monthly womanly call of mother nature. In the end there was a panic but they ultimately decided to keep the baby(s).

This leads to the birth of North and West Turnner. There was a complication at both though. As some may or may not know, giving birth to twins is dangerous for both mother and baby's, most of the time one child dies in the process.

It’s an RIL thing if you think I’m bullshitting you. There even is a thing called Purple Butterfly where a sticker will be placed on the door of patients who were part of a multiples birth but sadly, one or more of the siblings did not survive. And even then most of the time the mother needs a C-section to birth them so theres that as well. 

For Melody and Griffin there was a complication at birth. Mel had a C-section but was losing blood and the doctors feared she, and West wouldn’t make it. In the end they did but Mel needed to be carful of her midsection. If not it would end badly for her and could end up in a wheelchair, not paralyzed mind you but shed have trouble with moving a lot. As a C-section baby i can tell you my mom can't ware tight pants still and its been 16 years since I was born. The stitches can still brake. So real issues for this Music mister if you ask me. And I'm not blowing it out of perportion just for dramas sake.

The twins where the Prince and Princess of there high school. The teachers where fairly supportive of the couple. North and West where even models for the Fashion class that Angel just so happened to be apart of.

Prom was the night Griffin officially proposed to Melody. It was a big deal and everyone that attended other then Melody knew what was going to happen. It was an eventful night to say the least.

It was till years later there was a hiccup in there marriage. Neither really remember what the fight was about but it lead to Griffin packing some things and heading over the Nuros house for a bit.

(Ya Nuro & Shade are also friends of Griffin. They all went to the same high school.)

From there Melody went of town for a bit leaving the kids with her brothers. And form there met Wu.

Now before y'all say Mel is just as bad as Misako for not being there for the twins. She keeps in touch with them, alot. Like detailed in the last post on Mel, she calls video chats and sends gifts for important milestones in there life like birthdays, holidays and academic/ athletic success and so on. She even helps with homework if at all possible.

-phone calls with North, West and Melody-

"Okay West, when doing English read your questions first before reading the pasage, and mark down where you believe the answer for one might be." "Oh i get it! That way I know what I'm looking for later on right?" "Exactly kiddo!"

"North, if your going to participate in track please don't over work yourself" "Uncal Jax already told me about what happened to dad last time he over worked himself for a sport, but I appreciate the concern mom really, and I promise I'll take you're guy's advice into account when practicing with the team" "haha, good I don't want you fainting on me dear"

"Hi mom, thank you so much for the running sneakers! There amazing" "sure thing North, So how did your first Track race go?" "That's what I was going to talk about, WE WON! the shoes really did bring good luck like your latter said they would!"

"Mom, mom, MMOOOOM thankyousomuchforthecustomdrumsticksfrom(insert famous music instrumental company here) ohmygoshthereamazingilovethemthankyouthankyouthannnkkkyoooouuuuuuu!firstitwasthedrumsfromdadandnowthis?iloveyoubothsofeakingmuchhhhh" *incoherent laughing from Melody*

"Wish you where here with us mom" "wish I was too"

They love each other lots.

They also get stuff from there dad too. And to ensure that they don't get them the exact same thing, they communicate. Ya after about a year or two apart they both kinda realized the fight they had was idiotic and immature. But at this point Melody has caught on what Wu is trying to prevent and find and decides to stick around to help out where she can.

I mention in the last post that the guys make a pact to scare Griffin. Well Melody didn't tell them that the two worked out the issue sooooo.

But yes this was part 2 to Mom of the Group. Stick around for a part 3 if I ever get to it.

Also keep an eye out for later cuz I might drop a picture of her

#ninjago #ninja #ninjago oc #lego ninjago #oc #text post #ninjago fandom #this took too fucking long lol

[getyourgossip0-blog]

Interview: Polyester Talk About Their Self-Titled Debut Album

New Post has been published on https://getyourgossip.xyz/interview-polyester-talk-about-their-self-titled-debut-album/

Interview: Polyester Talk About Their Self-Titled Debut Album

Auckland’s Polyester have just released their eponymous debut album, and are bang in the middle of a national tour to celebrate their new release. Kiki Van Newtown (of Wellington witch rockers Hex) met up with bandmates Amelia Berry and Michael Garelja in a record store in Pōneke on a particularly stormy day and invited them back to her soccer-mom van to gossip about music and love…

So you’ve just put out an album and you’re on tour. What has been the timeline for doing this, for planning the tour and album release and everything?

A: The album’s been a long time coming.

M: The tour was a kind of a side that we thought “um, ooooohh, yeah?!”

A: The second half of last year was all getting ramped up to Laneway. We hadn’t really thought of much beyond that – apart from that we were making an album. So after Laneway we were like “oh, we have to do other stuff now!” so we finished the album and started planning the tour.

You said ramping up to Laneway – did you write a lot of new material for that? What sort of preparations did that entail?

A: Just kind of like trying to get better as a band. [laughing] Like “oh god, if people are going to see us!” Y’know, we better be good! So we already had most of the songs together for the album and we decided to just focus on a set of them and several times a week practice getting them tight. It kinda worked out though, we sound like a real band now! It really does feel like a magic trick cuz you don’t really notice the change, and it wasn’t until I heard some recording of us playing live and I was like “oh! It’s MUSIC!!”

I’m gonna dive right in and talk about the album. So it’s basically a love album, or am I projecting? It’s just really about… like I listen to it and I think all of these songs could go on a ‘songs-to-make-love-to’ playlist.

A: Oh my god!

M: I like that!

A: Yeah I like that!

Was that intentional, or are these just the things that come out because that’s what’s happening in your life? Did you set about to write a love album?

A: No. I mean, partially. A lot of our older songs were about the depressing aspects of my real life, like “I have to go to this terrible job, I have to do this thing” and they were all quite specific. And… I don’t know! What changed Michael?

Yeah, where did the joy come from?

M: I think Tane [guitarist] came along, and Tane brought a lot of groove.

A: And we started listening to a lot more soul and disco music where all of the songs are like hymns to the transformative power of love. I think partly also for me, a bunch of it was about escapism, because my life has not been hugely flowers and rainbows and falling in love recently. So it’s been kinda nice to have that in the band at least, if not in real life. [laughing]

M: And maybe part of it has been that you’ve accepted that twee is the real rock music? [laughing]

Oh my god can we talk about this?!

A: Yeah we can talk about this! When I was a teenager I kind of stumbled upon twee thanks to the very start of being able to find music on the internet. Like downloading things on LimeWire.

M: That’s on the record now!

A: That’s on the record! I illegally downloaded things via LimeWire. I don’t do it any more though. We’re past the statute of limitations I’m sure. But yeah, I really liked it, it was like… all of the bands had women in them. And it really kind of spoke to me in a way, and it seemed really accessible to make music like that. The other kinds of music where it was like “you can pick up a guitar and do this” – it seemed like you had to yell and be quite aggressive or something. [Twee] just really spoke to me being a huge wuss.

I briefly made some twee music in high school and then people were just like “what is this?” And there were some New Zealand twee bands around, but they were all kind of dissolving by that time. It seemed like when I was like “okay it’s my time to start a band now!” all of those bands were gone. And for a a long time I just repressed the twee, I think. Pushed it deep down inside. What’s your relationship with twee Michael?

M: Um, much stronger for having met Amelia, is what I’m going to say on that. [laughing]

A: I’ve been kind of an evangelist for it I think.

M: I guess I came at it from loving Orange Juice to bits, and then just hanging out with Amelia a lot meant that I got to listen to a lot of twee. And then sometimes you fall down a twee hole and…

And what is at the bottom of a twee hole?

A: Tullycraft.

Is this the point that you’re like “we need to drag you out a bit, we need to intervene?”

M: When you’re listening to the reggae Tullycraft. I found Amelia in her room listening to reggae Tullycraft being like “this is okay” and I’m like “nah, it’s not”. It’s just not! [laughing]

Along with twee the music comes twee the aesthetic, and then stemming out from that comes twee, the mode of social interaction.

A: Yeah, it can be a lot. And I think it took a while to navigate to a place where I could have a love song with jangly guitars and be like “yeah, but I’m not going to make you a cupcake”. [laughing]

M: Keeping with twee is the real rock…

A: Twee is the true punk!

M: Twee is the true punk, we thought about getting fake tattoos for the tour but we ran out of brain power and time.

Can you put “twee is the true punk” on underpants?

A: I’ve been trying to get that started as a slogan for a long time.

Well it’s going in here!

A: Okay good. I feel like enough time has passed since the mid 2000’s drinking-cups-of-tea-and-frilly-doilies version of twee – cuz I think a lot of people reacted badly to that – to bring it back. Because I think it is quite transgressive to be emotionally open in that way. A lot of other music that is that emotionally raw is also quite aggressive and quite cruel. So it’s nice to have something that speaks to the nice part of sincerity. I don’t know, this is all making me sound like a wuss. It’s going to finally be revealed to the world.

Uh oh.

M: Oh no! Nobody could’ve guessed! [laughing]

So the music. When I listen to it it’s like this is a better version of what my aunties would’ve listened to in the 80’s when they were getting on the turps with wine coolers, and they were listening to this sexually expressive music and feeling a bit sensual in Henderson of wherever they lived. But it always struck me that the music was primarily sung by male vocalists and it was always like “I’m going to take you as a lady and do things to you”…

A: Yeah.

But your album is way more updated and equitable sounding. And I also really like how much touching is mentioned in your album. It’s so refreshing hearing that physical dynamism coming from a female vocalist, and I love it. Can you tell me about that? Is that intentional? Where does all that come from?

A: I was listening to a lot of pop pop music, like Carly Rae Jepson and Kylie Minogue, and I found the most affecting moments of it – and thinking about real life, not just learning emotions from pop songs – were the ideas of those simple moments that can be so transformative. It seems like you can evoke a whole lot by just talking about the start of some kind of encounter, like that tenderness. It seems like a good way for me to talk about closeness with someone. The way that you touch people speaks a lot about the relationships you have with them, and in a way where you don’t have to go into other details.

Yeah like on your song ‘Closer Than Words’ – that’s sort of perfect really.

A: I think that’s my favourite one, that one.

So Amelia, you write all the lyrics. I wanna know how it works with someone else singing them.

A: Our band really started when I talked to Sylvia about her singing some of the music. It’s nice having someone that you can collaborate with like that. She really seems to understand – like sometimes I’ll write something and not be 100% sure about it, but Sylvia seems to get something from it.

I wanna know about this process. When you pass across the lyrics [to Sylvia] are you like ‘this is the feeling, this is the timbre of voice’ or do you actually just hand them off and be like “you do you now”?

A: Usually there’ll be a demo with me singing and playing an instrument underneath and I’ll send that to Sylvia and she’ll learn it from that. Sometimes things change, usually things change. And it’s also taken some time to learn to write songs that suit Sylvia singing them.

Right, so that’s been an evolution in terms of your songwriting?

A: Yeah. Definitely some of the earlier songs didn’t work so well. It just sounded like someone singing someone else’s songs.

Is that because of vocal range, or different vocal techniques or…?

A: Yeah range, and certain rhythms that people want to naturally fall in to. And if you write something very opposed to that it can sound very unnatural. But over time you get to know someone really well and it becomes a lot easier to write things for them to sing.

You become like one brain?

A: Yeah, ooooh…

Too close to home? Too much?

A: Yeah, I don’t know about one brain. [laughing]

I guess you learn each others’ musical language and it becomes a lot easier to communicate ideas.

M: Like a Venn diagram brain!

A: Yeah, that’s good! Like, very seldom will I be like “this song is about this,” and most of the time I don’t need to.

You mentioned that you basically have a scratch demo – is this what you give to the band, or do you write all of the instrumentation?

A: No, everyone writes all of their own bits.

M: Normally Sylvia gets a week off when it’s time to try and learn a new song because it’s terrible, everyone gets grumpy.

A: Yeah cuz usually Sylvia will have her part down, she’ll learn it and change anything she wants to change and suss it all out right away, and everyone else is busy trying to figure out what the song should sound like. Sometimes I’ll have specific directions for things – usually for rhythms rather than particular parts, like “the kick needs to be on this beat throughout the whole song except this part.” But it’s very collaborative, the arrangement.

Amelia are you the band leader though? Do you get the final say?

A: Do I have final say Michael? I can get a bit stroppy if something’s not sounding how I want it to sound.

M: And because Amelia does lots of the mixing she gets the sneaky final say. In saying that, if you fight her on something, sometimes not right away but a couple of weeks later you’ll get “oh that bit I got rid of in the recording is actually quite good so I’ve brought it back.”

A: I know that I have a tendency to be like “I thought it should be this way so it should be this way,” and it can sometimes take a little while to take on people’s ideas if they’re different from what I thought. But I don’t think there’s any songs where I’ve had to stop everything and be like “no! no, you can’t do this!”

M: I think I’ve pushed that button maybe once. [laughing]

A: Yeah there have been a couple of bass solos that we’ve had to pull back a little bit.

The bass is quite magnificent.

A: Yeah it’s a blessing having Michael in the band. I can’t imagine what it would sound like with a different bass player.

M: I fell into the bass when Amelia was trying to bring up an old band that she used to play bass in, but she didn’t want to play the bass anymore. I played Amelia’s bass for three years, and it was only last year that I bought a bass.

What did you get?

M: A knockoff Rickenbacker.

Yes you did! So can I just ask about the production process. Do you record everything yourselves?

A: Yeah [laughing]. A lot of things broke during the process of recording this. I think possibly next time we will go into a proper studio! But it was really important for me anyway that the first thing that we made was like us. And so it was many, many hours at the bFM studio late into the night.

Did you track everything individually?

A: Yeah we tracked everything individually. Yeah I basically did everything on it apart from master it, which was done by Rohan Evans from The Wine Cellar.

And so the mixing process – how long did that take? A million years?

A: Yeah, months and months. There were so many tracks on everything. It was a lot. I dunno. Does it sound good Michael? Do you like it? [Michael nods] Okay good! [laughing]

I’ve spent too much time with it now. It’s hard for me to listen to it without thinking “I need to turn this thing up and move this to the side.” But I think a lot of the music that I was most attached to growing up has a very kind of home-made quality to it. Even if it’s not super lo-fi in the sound, it’s…

M: Lo-fi of the heart.

A: Yeah! You can hear the fingerprints on the recording.

Do you feel acceptance now though, or do you still have times where you wake up in the middle of the night and are like ‘I could actually just go back and remix that bit and then re-upload it all online’?

A: I do occasionally think that! We have a physical… it’s on cassette now, so we can’t really do anything. I think I’m happy that it’s all finished. A lot of the things I love about other people’s recordings are when you hear something strange happen, or you can hear something intentional and unusual. There are a lot of things in there that probably sound to me right now like things I should change, but to other people hopefully that will give them the same feeling that I have when I listen to The Pastels or whatever.

Yeah, it’s like being let in on a secret when you hear those little things. So what function do you hope your music serves in communities, or for yourselves?

A: I think a lot of the most important music to me has been comforting. I would hope that this music is comforting to people. I’m hoping that queer people listen to it and hear something of that in there.

It’s so valuable because often music is written to charge people up in a ‘taking action’ way, but there’s so much repair that people need to do for themselves because everyone’s so damaged because the world is a hellhole. So it’s so nice to have music that is really tender and that revitalises you in this way, and with this album I think you’ve really achieved that.

A: When I was younger I made a lot of music that sounded a certain way because I thought that thing was cool, or I wanted to make music that expressed some deep feeling within me. In starting to write the songs for this album, I was listening to a lot of music to feel better, and I kind of approached the songs like that. But live is a lot more fun than that sounds!

M: We’re a bit heckers. And I reckon that the people in the band are really great at everything they do. Like we had a bit of a drummer crisis and then Keria came along and he’s… woah!

I have one last question. I saw you played at a PAPA (People Against Prisons Aotearoa) benefit show. Do you draw your politics into your music? How do your politics manifest in your music, or does it not and actually music is more comforting escapism?

A: I listen to quite a bit of political music. Speaking very personally, being trans, your whole identity is politicised. People take attitudes towards you not as a person, but based on their political beliefs about things. And so I really appreciate seeing media about trans people and queer people generally that isn’t about the terrible things that happen to them, but is just about them doing cool stuff and them just being people. And so I kind of just try and do that, because that’s what I like to see. Obviously it’s important to tell all of these stories, but for me those [terrible] stories are just my life, so it’s empowering for me to see other queer people making music that’s just for themselves, that’s just music. I think I’m also just not as good at writing songs about politics as I think possibly other people are.

M: One of Amelia’s glory day old songs was a song from the perspective of Paul Holmes, and it involved vaudeville piano.

Did you listen to his album?

A: I just listened to it because I wanted to know what it was like. It’s just him kind of doing half-arsed versions of ‘Echoes of Your Mind’ and he reads some poems. It’s not nearly as weird as it would need to be to make that thing good or listenable in any way.

Can I ask about Polyester the name? Just really into polyester clothing?

A: We’re really into polyester clothing.

M: All of Amelia’s favourite bands are named after fabric.

A: I was really into Denim and Felt.

M: There was a good list that we came up with.

I love this. Were there any other fabrics that you were playing with in terms of names?

A: Polyester was the one that came to mind. It took us a long time to think of the name, cuz we were previously called Kip McGrath which did nothing for our Search Engine Optimisation. Also Sylvia especially loves John Waters.

M: And polyester usually comes in super sweet looks.

A: Like crazy 70’s designs.

M: And it’s also the vibe. It’s like slightly sticky, gets a bit weird, but you love it.

[embedded content]

You can catch Polyester celebrating the release of their debut record at Christchurch’s darkroom this coming Saturday 14th July, and at Auckland’s Whammy Bar on Friday 27th July. For more info and tickets head along here.