#clownracha prompt

[decaffedthoughts]

Firsts and Flowers

pairing: non idol sana x gender neutral reader

word count: 4.6k

fluff and a touch of angst

summary: scenes from yours and sana’s relationship firsts, accompanied by the bouquets you bring to each, from introduction to anniversaries and beyond.

a/n: guess who’s back! i do have specific photos for what sana is wearing for every single scene lol, ask me if you’re interested. low/no plot, just me fawning because i am down horrid for sana. this is for clownracha’s may prompt, flower language

First date

Bouquet: white roses, calla lily, hibiscus

Her number had come through a mutual friend, Bang Chan. A former coworker of yours and a current coworker of hers. You'd heard her name a few times through him but not much else. Chan knew practically everyone in the damn country, or at least seemed to at times, so you trusted that he could tell who was similar and who would work well together, at least as well as one human could.

So, you sent a small "hello" to the provided number that night.

Hello

Is this Sana? Chan gave me your number

Sana speaking

And who might you be

The first tricky part of meeting someone was completed. Now it was just the other hard part of staying in touch. It was a Friday, so both of you were relatively free to text late into the night, not needing to worry about your semi-soul-crushing schedule ruining the night. At some point, you realized you'd never seen her face and decided to shoot your shot for a selfie. You told her to choose whatever she pleased, hoping it's not too glamourized to make you unintentionally feel wrong in your chip-dusted sweatpants.

In the end, nothing could have prepared you. Sana was clearly in lounge clothes, she might have even taken it right before sending it to you, but she was still the most gorgeous woman you had ever seen. Maybe it was because she was not some high-held celebrity that hardly seemed human, but something about her still felt otherworldly.

Your sleepiness allowed much of that sentiment to flow through your texts, which you could worry about later. For now, it was simply wondering how Chan could have set you up like that without warning. You'd be sure to get him back for that somehow. Your attention diverted from revenge plans back to Sana when she sent a simple question mark, and you realized that the effusive praise was simply a draft.

Sorry you broke my brain by being wildly gorgeous

Did you take that just now?

Mhm

Decided you were special enough to get a never before seen picture

Chan likes everyone, but he doesn't keep everyone around

It's almost annoying how many friends he has

I can barely have a public conversation with him, I swear

It was easy like that for weeks. One text every few hours, or on lucky days a spree of a few hours with just a minute or two between responses. It progressed to something other than simply friendship feelings for you. Could you continue to be friends if that invitation was rejected or didn't work out? Sure, but you wanted to try, and I hope that Sana feels that same feeling too.

Hey

Do you want to get dinner with me next week?

Are you asking me on a date? Spicy

Give me the details

You did, and she agreed. It felt unreal. Maybe she didn't have the same feelings yet, or maybe she did, but it seemed she was at least open to them. Next week was far enough away that it gave you enough time to adequately plan everything, but now the same date was too far away, and each minute of waiting seemed to drag on.

As time does, it passed, and the day arrived in front of you. Sana's apartment was closer to the restaurant, so you agreed to meet there and walk over. You ended up very early due to sheer nervousness and saw a flower shop not far away. Not wanting to show up that early, you headed over but only planned to look.

Almost immediately, many of the flowers caught your eye, and you rethought that "just looking" idea. Deciding that the cashier would likely know more than you do, you headed up to them.

"Hey, any good recommendations for a first date? Kinda impromptu, so I don't have much time." You explained to them, Dongmin, according to the name tag.

They nodded and took you around the shop, picking up a few flowers and explaining their meanings. You checked the time and had a few extra minutes, especially if you walked quickly. On the way out, you thanked Dongmin, and they wished you good luck on the date. You smiled, fresh white bouquet in hand. Maybe you could come back if all went well.

Steadying your shaking hand and knocking on the door correctly took you a moment. Before properly taking in Sana, you shoved the bouquet toward her. You knew you might end up stunned by her, so you took a moment before it happened. When you finally got the courage to open your eyes, you were more right than you knew.

Her hair was now a soft purple, tied up by a large black bow. She wore a shoulderless black sweater under her blue-gray dress, and, as predicted, you just couldn't stop staring. Silently, which may have made her a little nervous or uneasy, admittedly, but what words could you use to describe the practical angel in front of you? And she wanted to go on a date with you? She took the bouquet with gratitude and a smile, bidding you wait a moment while she put it in a vase. There wasn't much else for you to do or anywhere to go, so you inspected what you could see of her apartment from the doorway. When she returned, she held out the flowers in a large jar, notably not a vase.

She laughed sheepishly as you stared, "People don't really give me flowers, so I didn't plan for this. More about the flowers than the container, right?"

You didn't have an answer, so you just nodded because they looked perfectly fine in the jar. You were more surprised that people didn't give her flowers often. If you had to guess, you would have said she had a long line of suitors waiting to give her gifts. Maybe she did, and they just weren't partial to flowers. It was the only thing that made sense; Sana was too beautiful not to give gifts to.

You walked down the street together, unpopulated since it hadn't warmed up too much. Despite having only text conversations to that point, your conversation flowed well, and the silences were short but comfortable. Each of you had various ideas and stories to share. Walking down the street also provided plenty of distractions for you both, mainly in the form of cute animals needing the time to be outside.

It passed in what feels like no time at all. And the meal went just as fast. The food was acceptable, but you knew that wouldn't be what you remembered regardless. Instead, you noted how Sana's face lit up when she laughed or how shyly she reacted when you complimented her, among other things. Surprisingly, she retaliated on the compliments quickly, smirking when you responded.

Honestly, you didn't see the sun setting in the window, nor the number of people that entered and exited as you sat there talking. As expected, a waiter came over eventually, asking if you wanted to pay. You almost didn't notice them in the middle of a story of one of your coworkers nearly destroying the microwave.

For a few minutes, you gathered up everything and left, but the moment you were back outside, you began to laugh together again. That seemed to be the theme of that first date, and there was no reason you could find to complain about it. It was significantly darker that time, which removed your visibility of Sana's face, but it made it easier to step closer and feel the backs of your hands brushing as you walked. You didn't know who finally made the move to intertwine your fingers, but neither stopped to comment, simply enjoying the moment and letting it breathe. Her hand was soft, and you found yourself wondering what it would be like to be able to hold it as often as you wanted in the future.

You arrived at her doorway faster than you had expected and far quicker than you wanted to. After a few minutes of awkward and stuttered goodbyes, Sana took a step forward and briefly hesitated before pressing a kiss on your cheek. When she stepped back, she opened her mouth to say something, but you felt a small and uncontrollable smile spread across your lips. She must have seen it because she closed her mouth and gave you a small smile. Each of you whispered a final goodbye before you turned and headed back down the hallway.

First makeup

Bouquet: chamomile, zinnia, lotus flower

It wasn't a fight about something stupid; you had learned better than to minimize your own feelings by now, but it was something that didn't need to be a fight at all. One or maybe a few conversations, and you could have worked it out together. Instead, you held it in because of a misguided vision of being a "good" and "unproblematic" partner, especially this early in your relationship. Eventually, as should be expected, you couldn't hold it in anymore.

You felt that Sana didn't set aside enough time to text you or text you back during the day, and she was equally unavailable on some nights. On the weekends, she was much more active in calling or texting you. But other times, she could be virtually unreachable for hours.

You could hardly remember what had set you off just a few minutes later. The more you walked and thought, the more embarrassed you became. Here you were, with an adult job and living independently, yet you still didn't communicate properly with your girlfriend.

Without really realizing it, you had walked the reverse path you usually did. That time from Sana's door to the flower shop you often visited. You walked in, unsure if you wanted to buy anything, but simply being around nature was calming.

Ultimately, you decided it couldn't hurt to show up at her apartment with a bouquet. Along with a heartfelt apology and readiness to communicate, pretty flowers always help. So you asked the cashier if there was a common "after a fight" bouquet or flower they might recommend.

It took a few minutes of searching, in which you stewed in your thoughts even more, but they did come back. The chamomile and the lotus were instantly recognizable, even to you. And the other one was a white zinnia. Or was it a zinnia? You couldn’t remember, but it was a pretty flower and fit perfectly with the calm white theme.

You distracted yourself on the way back by constantly fiddling with the flower petals and placements, not wanting to think about what you'd do in a few minutes. What would you do if Sana turned you away or didn't open the door? You'd have to leave the flowers, text her that they're there, and hope she reads them rather than just swiping them away. You wouldn't blame her if she did, but you'd continue hoping for the best.

You knocked hesitantly and waited, scuffing your foot along the floor. Mercifully, she opened the door, but her face fell slightly when she properly saw you.

"You're not my kimchi jjigae." She said simply.

You winced. Kimchi jjigae was a spicy comfort food for her, so it must have hurt her more than you thought.

"I'm not. I hope you'll let me apologize anyways. I'm sorry for not talking about any of my problems before they exploded. I didn't want to cause any problems so early into our relationship, and I wasn't sure what you would think if I did. Clearly, this was worse, and now I seem immature as well. It doesn't have to be right now, but I hope you can forgive me."

You chewed and pulled at your bottom lip as you waited for her to answer, and her face was impressively smooth and impassive.

"I'll need more time to move on, but I forgive you. Come in, and I'll tell you how to make it up to me."

You perked up significantly and followed her inside as quickly as you could.

"Yes, ma'am! Thank you, baby. I'm sorry again."

"First step in making it up to me. Stop apologizing."

First birthday together

Bouquet: yellow tulip, yellow jasmine, dwarf sunflower

It was Sana's first birthday while she was with you, and it was a big moment. You wanted to get a gift that she liked and made the day worth her while. It was mid-winter, so flowers were generally out of season, but that wouldn't stop you. Quite the opposite even. You'd be going for a yellow bouquet to mimic a piece of the sunshine that you were so missing during these months. It included some dwarf sunflowers, which, despite the name, were still relatively large and perfect for your idea.

It was technically a late birthday gift and date, as her friends got the first pick for surprising her on the day of. Genuinely, it was more than worth it. You had shown up for a date as if you weren't taking her directly to them when they were simply waiting just around the corner, almost literally, just behind a curtain in the private area of the restaurant. She had left your side to greet them almost immediately, though not without a small kiss full of gratitude first. It didn't bother you at all, her friends were all wonderful people, and she looked radiant as she took in the whole scene. When you left for the night, she had complained about her cheeks hurting from smiling so much, but even the whole way home, she couldn't stop gushing and giggling about it all.

So, you simply sat back and listened, nodding even though you were sure she wasn't paying attention to you. You knew you'd get her full attention the next day regardless. Though when you returned to her apartment, you told her how beautiful she looked so happy, which only made her laugh again and jokingly swat at your arm.

She joked about it again the next day, asking if you were taking her on a date this time or if you'd secretly bring her to see her family. Honestly, it wasn't a bad idea for a future birthday, but you didn't say that, only repeating the idea in your mind to return to later.

The aquarium was rather crowded when you got there, with many people having the same idea. A weekend, insulated from the cold, and a generally nice place for a date. Of course, you had been expecting this, so it didn't ruin your experience entirely, even if it made moving around and looking at the tanks a little more difficult.

You'd been to an aquarium on a previous date, it was hard to come up with wholly original date ideas all the time, but this one was much bigger. That experience helped you know that Sana's reactions would be much more entertaining to watch than the fish ever could be. She had a perpetual curiosity and affection for the creatures of the world that you never got tired of. One of her many admirable and adorable traits. If you got into all that, you could be there all day.

The water shimmered and moved, entrancing patterns across the angles of her face, and you truly couldn't look away even if you wanted to. After watching the school of fish moving in inscrutable patterns, she finally noticed you staring at her and started pouting and whining.

"Look at the fish! Aquarium time, baby!" She took your hand and dragged you closer to the glass, forcibly turning your head with a pout every time you tried to rotate it back and look at her.

Eventually, you accepted the motion and stared at the fish, slowly separating your mind from all the people you knew were there and immersing yourself in the sight. Of course, Sana began to get impatient and tugged on your hand again after a while. You snapped out of your haze and followed wherever she planned to go next. Planning was evidently a generous word, as you were sure she was just walking to whatever caught her fancy as she saw it, but you would have followed her anywhere by then.

Much of the time passed like that: watching Sana and then watching the fish at her urging before she saw something new and exciting and dragged your stumbling self behind her. You wouldn't even dream of having it any other way.

You told her you wanted to take a slight detour on the way back. You didn't tell her where, but it wasn't like the florist was overly exciting by now. Or, it wasn't for you, but Sana's previously mentioned affection for the world often extended to plants as well. Especially very pretty plants like all the flowers hung up in that shop. You freed her to wander around as she pleased while you headed up to grab your pre-ordered bouquet. It was even prettier than you thought it would be.

"Princess!" You called out to her and heard Sana's shoes hitting the floor a moment later.

"Baby?" She asked before seeing the bouquet in your hands and running the last few steps.

"Oh, it's so pretty! My personal sunshine for the winter months, I love it." She took the bouquet from you and stared at it, sighing dreamily.

The walk back to her apartment was filled with her softly stroking the flowers, sighing, and several instances of her almost tripping. You very nearly teased her for it, but it was hard to when it happened because she was too busy staring at something you bought her.

She thanked you one more time at her door with a small kiss, and you were left staring at her door with a little dopey smile.

First anniversary

Bouquet: daisy, hibiscus, white jasmine

It was hard to believe a year had passed with Sana at your side. At that point, something very obvious first came to mind to commemorate the occasion. Buy a new bouquet. They were a nice way to celebrate big events and a reminder of you that Sana could look at every day, even if you couldn't be there with her. After confirming they would work with flower meanings, you decided to ask the florist for a bouquet meaning something like "love for a beautiful person." It was the one major descriptor that came to mind when you thought of your girlfriend. She was beautiful in every way, inside and out.

In the last few years, so much had happened, individually and together, but the excitement of knocking on her apartment door was always the same for you. Sometimes, between the moments of knocking and Sana answering, you daydream about when you wouldn't have to knock on this door at all. You would plan a day and simply see Sana emerge from behind a door while you waited. Or maybe you would make her wait for you. Whatever the situation, you longed for the day that you could share more time and space with her.

For now, the excitement remained. When Sana opened the door that time, you were more than excited, you were shocked. She opened the door, peeked around it, and you saw her hair was pink! You gasped and pushed in to get a proper look at her. As if the sight was unbelievable, you reached out and ran a small amount through your fingers, but the color stayed the same. It was a delicate floral pink, and it made her shine. Maybe you should go away for a few days more often if something like that was going to happen. As soon as you thought it, you knew that was unsustainable because you couldn't even imagine being away for that long now, and certainly not by choice.

"I love it. You're gorgeous. And happy anniversary, I love you." You stepped forward and rested your hands on her hips, practically hypnotized by the smile your words brought forth.

"My beloved," she crooned, holding you close. "Happy anniversary to us, the first of many, I'm sure."

You stood there for a few minutes, simply enjoying each other's presence before you had to leave and face the wide world once more. Thankfully, when you stepped back, you could survey her outfit. You didn't have to, as you could be sure she looked great, but then again, why wouldn't you? A simple black outfit, a skirt with a little pearl belt, and knee-high black boots. But you processed all that fairly quickly, though with some needed appreciation for her legs, because you were drawn back to her bright hair falling down her shoulders.

The way Sana giggled made you sure she noticed, but if she didn't expect that much reaction, you clearly hadn't shown your appreciation for everything about her well enough thus far.

Sometimes you thought your relationship became a little routine, which was comforting in its own way, and wondered if you and Sana could even surprise each other anymore. Well, this was proof that you most certainly could.

If it were someone else, or maybe some time else, you might have been concerned about someone trying to make a move on her. By then, you were confident and secure enough. She had told you that when she dressed up, it was for herself and maybe for you. And if anyone else had the gall to approach her, she was generally quick to rebuff them and point you out as her loving, doting, and sole partner. Although there had been a few times she'd let them keep trying for laughs as you looked on from a few feet away. It was mostly fun to watch the excitement dull as they realized she was not some doll to bend to their whims but a strong-willed and opinionated person.

Thankfully, tonight no one like that should bother you. It was a little cliche, but you returned to the restaurant of your first date, and it felt like stepping back in time. The place wasn't popular enough to have the money for major renovations, but it was popular enough that it was well-maintained and looked practically the same as you remembered it.

It wasn't private by any means, but that worked to your advantage as you and Sana spent about an hour scoping out passers-by and making up stories about what they might be doing. You both started pretty regular, but as time passed, you both came up with more ridiculous possibilities that sent you both into giggling fits.

The sunset, and eventually, you both had to leave. Not because you were disturbing people but because you had other exciting places to be. Or you might have planned for that, but Sana immediately turned back towards her apartment, pulling you behind her. When you wordlessly expressed your shock and confusion, she giggled.

"Listen, I had fun, but I'm tired and don't want you to leave yet. I mean, you can if you want, but I want you to come with me."

"No! I wanna go with you; we can do whatever you want at your apartment. It's our anniversary until I leave."

You walked the rest of the way back in happy, companionable silence. As soon as you got in the elevator, you drifted towards each other, pressing as much of yourselves together as possible. Of course, you reached her floor all too quickly, but Sana didn't hesitate to pull you forward, clearly excited as a puppy for whatever she had planned behind her apartment door. And you followed dopily, endlessly drawn into her gravity.

First proposal

It is the height of summer, but thankfully there is a light and cool breeze for your picnic today. Sweating through the heat is not generally attractive. Sana is wearing a rather casual outfit filled with bright yellow and pink for the summer, topped off by heart jewelry she had bought on a previous date. You've got a camera bag slung over your shoulder, with the excuse that it's just a nice day and you want some pictures. In reality, you want something like a proposal to be captured with something better than a phone camera. Which is all well and good if she says yes, but that inevitably leads to what will happen if she says no. No, you will not psych yourself out 2 minutes before you need to leave.

To your credit, it's a cute ass picnic date, even without the promise of a later proposal in your mind. You spend it talking about nothing, asking benign questions, and hardly paying attention to the answer because you could be entranced by your pretty girlfriend instead. It's a beautiful arrangement.

The sun is still high and hot in the sky, but when you look at Sana, it simply feels right. So you stand up and reach a hand out to her.

"Will you come with me, princess? I have a place I want to show you." You say.

The place is not the thing of importance that you want to show her, but she doesn't need to know that yet. A small clearing dotted by flowers and a surprising lack of weeds. You put the bouquet and the basket down while she looks around and peers at every type of flower.

"Baby?" You call, and she comes bounding back to you, her smile wide and eyes gleaming.

"Yes, darling?"

"The bouquet. The white roses you may recognize from our first date, where I ambitiously got them as a sign of new beginnings. I wanted so badly to know you better and hoped I could convince you to stay. I'm so glad that whatever I did or said worked. The little ones are yarrow for everlasting love. Which I hope we have because I can't imagine life without you now, and I hope I never see what it's like. Honeysuckle are the spindly ones poking out the sides, and they're for the bonds of love. For me, that is not a duty to stay but rather an agreement that we both have made and wish to stick to. And the firework-like ones are myrtle, but there's something else I have to do first."

There's no grand reaction, so you don't think Sana has caught on to you yet. Or if she has, she is holding her emotions in very well. You reach into a tiny pocket at the bottom of your camera bag and pull out the small blue box. There's no hiding what it is, so you turn and push out one knee. And the way her face scrunches as she bursts into a strange combination of tears and smiles is the picture that will be etched into your mind forever.

"The myrtle means love in a marriage, which I believe we could have for the rest of our lives if you would like. So, Minatozaki Sana, will you marry me?"

"Oh goodness, of course I will! I'm too in love to ever dream of saying no, and how dare you think otherwise."

You laugh through what may be your own tears; no one can confirm nor deny and wonder how you could have believed otherwise. You've never felt this happy before, and you won't likely have many moments better than this one, if any.

"I love you, princess. I love you so much."

"And you better keep loving me. You're stuck me to you now, and I'm not letting go."

"I would never want you to."

#sana x reader #sana fluff #minatozaki sana fluff #twice fluff #twice x reader #clownracha prompt #clownracha monthly prompt #my writing

[hwatermelonsuga]

Fool's Gold

° genre: pirate au, pirateez, angst, bit of humor

° warnings: language, violence, murder, alcohol(ism), possibly more in individual chapters

° pairing: seongjoong

° summary: Set in the Golden Age of Piracy, join Hongjoong and his crew on a quest to find Captain Avery's hidden treasure as they come across traitors, lies, and a tyrant for a king.

° started: 05/09/22

° ended: TBA (on hold)

index

i. (The) Pirate King

ii. First Night Back In Port

iii. We’re All Bound to Go

iv. On The Sea of Thieves

v. My Way

vi. Good Little Boy

vii. Once A Sailor

viii. Tyme Flyes When You’re Havin’ Rum

ix. Desire

facts

Chapter 1 & 2 and General

Chapter 3, 4, & 5

tag you're it: @felixtok @sunnytaes @burningupp @honeyvocalhwang @bunnypig18

let me know if you want to be on the tag list!! Also did I just title each chapter a sea shanty... yes I did..

pic creds: 1 | 2 | 3

#ateez au #pirates #pirateez #pirate ateez #seongjoong #ateez #kim hongjoong fic #pirate #ateez fanfic #clownracha monthly prompts recs

[sunnytaes]

saw some moots doing this and figured i would too bc hell do i need motivation to actually finish these shits. pls let me know what u think i should finish and feel free to comment or send an ask if u would like me to do more than one 😭 i have a preference for the first 3 but any of them would feel rewarding to finally complete. also the ballad of the phoenix will have an update soon and is not on this list bc that wip is separate from this list, aka the wip graveyard

#sunny polls #please help me revive one of these lifeless wips #also note that the wc is what i currently have not the goal #i don’t set wc goals for my writing bc whatever happens happens in as many or as little words as it takes #also if ur in clownracha and recognize some of these from last year’s monthly prompts…. shut up no you didn’t

[burningupp]

Fated Friends | lmh

skz masterlist

pairing: lee minho x f!reader

warnings: female reader (i'm sorry, i promise to branch out one day), reader has a kid, heavily based off of gilmore girls bc it's my comfort show, slight health scare, not proofread lol

summary: minho isn't a very outwardly emotional guy, and honestly, he's come to be comfortable that way. weird how the kind of person he's sure to be the bane of his existence ends up breaking that habit, huh?

a/n: this is going to be at least two parts... yeah. i'm sorry. anyway i hope you enjoy this, whatever it is. also, sorry for any eventual grammar mistakes; i am not a native english speaker, so be gentle with me pls 🙏 also, i have had this as a wip for a while so using this as an excuse to complete the november clownracha prompt! @wooyussy @sunnytaes

The diner was busy. Minho hadn’t been running it for that long, just two years and some change, but it had still become somewhat of a staple in their little town. There were regulars who came in almost every day for at least one meal, and even though he might not show it outwardly, he really enjoyed making them food they seemed to appreciate.

There was a routine to it all, and it made him feel safe. The first six months he’d had absolutely no idea what he was doing, and it had been terrifying. Once he got past the insecurity, he’d felt good. He had managed to do what his father had done before him and run a successful business. Granted, his father had been running a hardware store before he died, not a diner, but it was close enough in his mind.

Once a year had passed, he started to feel bored instead of good. He loved his diner, and he loved running it, but he felt like there was no excitement in his life (unless you counted burning himself on oil from the deep fryer, of course - that had definitely led him to an eventful few weeks without the use of his left hand). Since he was running his own business, there was practically no rest for him. He had taken a total of two days off since starting the diner, but only because he actually did have to go to the hospital (courtesy of the fryer-incident) and the dentist.

The days that the diner was busy were good. There was no time to think about how he missed fishing and camping, how he hadn’t flirted with a woman since all this started, and much less been on a date with one. There had been a few customers, mostly tourists passing through, who had flirted with him before. He had always been generally awkward, stuttering his way through the interaction and then suffered through the teasing of the older women who lived in the small town and had known him since he was in diapers. It was great, obviously.

And then someone showed up and broke his routine entirely.

It was a busy day, the town selectman had been arranging a festival of some sort to “encourage tourism” which meant that Minho had a whole lot more customers than usual. He was running around taking and delivering orders, refilling coffees, and wiping down tables as fast as he could. He inwardly sighs when he hears the bell over the door ring again, because as much as he loves running a successful business, he’s busy enough as it is.

“I’ll be with you in a moment,” he says over his shoulder as he’s wiping down a table.

“No but see, I don’t have a moment,” a woman’s voice says back, a sort of panicky twinge to it that makes him turn around to look at her.

She’s gorgeous. Her eyes are shining in the sunlight streaming through the windows, and her hair is a tangled mess. Her clothing is a bit rumpled, and she’s not wearing any make-up, but suddenly the urge to flirt has returned to him from the dead. Then he hears the bell signaling food is ready, and he’s snapped out of his brief stupor.

“Yeah, well,” he starts, moving toward the two plates readily waiting for him on the counter, “neither do I. Wait or go somewhere else for coffee.”

Once he’s grabbed the food and turned around to give it to the customers at one of the tables in the corner, he is immediately stopped in his tracks as the woman is standing two feet in front of him with a gleam in her eyes that somehow both intrigues and terrifies him.

“No but you don’t understand,” she starts, and Minho heaves a sigh as he dodges around her to actually complete the order delivery, “my coffee machine at home broke, and my five-year-old is sick so I had to stay up all night, and the coffee at work has run out and so I am here, desperately begging you for like five cups of coffee before I collapse in a heap on the street and it’s all your fault.”

The woman follows him to the table and keeps incessantly nagging, and the only thing he can think is wait, she has a five-year-old? She doesn’t look older than 20 or so, if even that. At least that gave him a reason to stop looking at her beautiful eyes, stop his stupid heart from wanting him to talk and flirt with her, because he cannot handle a kid. He kind of hates kids, honestly - they’re always sticky, and never have intelligent answers to anything, and always get on his nerves.

“Listen, it sounds like your day isn’t going particularly well and I have the utmost sympathy for that having had a few bad ones myself, but I have a diner full of hungry people, so if coffee is all you want I’m gonna have to ask you to wait.”

At this, the woman gasps out loud, her eyes widening and jaw dropping indignantly.

“Excuse you? Just coffee? This is classism! Discrimination! You’re the one who serves coffee in the first place, which I know by the way because I saw someone with a take-away cup with your logo on it, and if you don’t want my business then I guess I should just leave.”

This makes Minho snort out loud and turn to her bemusedly. “Fine by me.”

She lets out another indignant gasp and goes up to the counter, grabbing a newspaper that’s just lying there. He hears the bell signaling another order is done, and goes to fetch the plates, but he keeps her in the corner of his eye.

“You,” she says when he walks past her to take another order, “what’s your zodiac sign?”

He stops in his tracks and turns to stare at her. What in the world was this woman even doing in here? She must be some kind of crazy. Or many kinds, he mutters in his own head.

“Well if you’re not gonna tell me, I’m just going to assume which one,” she says defiantly, staring at him for a moment before huffing. “Okay, taurus it is then.” She then grabs a pen, writes something on the section of horoscopes in the newspaper and tears it out, holding it out to him. “Take it,” she says when he just keeps staring.

“Why should I?” He asks in confusion, and she huffs again.

“Because you should read your horoscope, of course,” she says in a tone that implies he’s being an idiot. Boy, does he feel like one when he takes the note. It says Give the crazy woman a cup of coffee, or she’ll never leave you alone. 

“What is this?” He asks exasperatedly, spotting the customers wanting to order becoming impatient.

“It’s your horoscope, duh,” she replies, rolling her eyes at him. “You should do what it says and keep it, I’ve heard that horoscopes have been updated to be the same every day from now on.”

“Every- just fix your coffee-maker, or better yet, get a new one!” Minho finds himself yelling back, and the woman just smirks at him.

“No, I like my old one, my kid put googly eyes on it and we named him Lambert. Now get me my coffee so I can get back to work on time!” Minho stares at her for a bit longer. “You do know that if you’d just given me the coffee when I asked for it I would have been gone already, right?”

He realizes that she’s right, even though he hates to admit it. He gives her a stern glance and goes to take the couple in the corner’s order first before quickly pouring four cups of coffee and handing them to her in a cardboard tray.

Once she gets them, she gives him a huge smile that makes his stomach do a flip before grabbing them and running out the door - not before giving him more money than the coffee is worth. He huffs, staring after her through the window for a moment before being pulled back to reality by the loud clearing of a throat - a customer wants to order.

A few days later, it’s the middle of the afternoon lull. All the dishes are done, all unused tables are cleared, and Minho is filling salt and pepper shakers at the counter when the bell above the door signals that someone entered the diner. He looks up and immediately regrets it when he sees the crazy woman from before accompanied by a little kid.

He begrudgingly has to admit, he had been thinking about her a lot. Her eyes had been so captivating, and the smile she had given him before leaving had made him feel completely out of his depth somehow. Every time he poured a cup of coffee for someone, all he could think about was her. Which is crazy, because he doesn’t even know her name.

This time, her hair is let down and styled in gentle waves. Her clothes aren’t rumpled, and she’s wearing make-up. And yet, the one thing that pulls Minho in is her eyes. Well, that and her absolute angel of a kid. The kid’s eyes are the exact same shade as her mother’s, her cheeks round and rosy, her hair long and neatly brushed, and her bag so full of books it hangs slightly open due to the zipper not being able to close all the way around the sheer volume of them. Her mother helps her hop onto a chair at a table, taking the bag and placing it on the floor. The little girl immediately reaches to grab a book out of it, but her mother snatches it mid-air and places it on the other side of her own chair, out of her daughter’s reach.

“But mom,” the little girl whines with such an adorable pout Minho is sure he would have given in after 0.2 seconds flat, but the woman just shakes her head.

“I know you want to read, and I’m really really glad about that, but we’re gonna be eating now, honey. You don’t want those library books to get all sticky, now do you?”

At her mother’s words, the little girl gasps and shakes her head. It’s the cutest thing he’s seen all day. “I would never let them! That’s gross, and I would probably be fined!” Then she gasps again, her eyes even wider than before. “Would it get put in a record somewhere?!”

Minho expects her mother to simply calm her down, tell her that she probably won’t be put on some list of wrong-doers and that, even if she was put on one, it wouldn’t have any consequences other than a $2 fine.

“Oh yes, you’ll be put on a record. It might even go to the police,” is what she says instead, and Minho blanches. Aren’t you supposed to comfort kids instead of scare them?

“No way,” the little girl says, eyes still wide as saucers.

“Yes way,” her mother says with a straight face and a playful tone. “They’ll put you on a list, and then they will forward it to the police, and they will pay to have a man with a camera to follow you around and take pictures whenever you make a mess. Then all those pictures will be sent to Harvard when you apply.”

The story is ridiculous, and yet… Minho finds himself smiling. It’s kind of funny. Then he starts to fear that the kid is going to cry. He really can’t handle children crying, he hates the sound of it and never knows how to fix it so he gets all panicky and ends up leaving most of the time. (It also kind of breaks his heart, but no one needs to know that.) However, the little girl doesn’t cry. Instead, she grins at her mother.

“Ah yes, whatever shall I do.”

At her response, her mother huffs happily and ruffles her daughter’s hair. The little girl opens a menu and starts browsing through it, looking remarkably concerned as she reads it over. Her mother starts looking around, and suddenly locks eyes with him. She smiles awkwardly. That’s when Minho pulls himself together and realizes he should go take their order. He clears his throat and walks over to their table.

“You’re back,” he remarks in a monotone.

“Ah, yeah,” she says, looking down at her hands on the table. “What are the chances I didn’t act quite as crazy as I remember? Because what is crazy when you think about it, you know?”

“Well, I’m not a doctor, but I would say you qualify,” Minho answers before he really registers what’s going through his head. He freezes, scared that he offended her. She might get on his nerves (kind of), but he doesn’t want to be mean nonetheless. He might lose a customer, after all.

“I agree,” the little girl chimes in, looking up from the menu and grinning at Minho so brightly he’s sure it could have blinded him. He feels his heart squeeze tight. “Mom gets crazy when she doesn’t get her coffee.”

“Hm, well I don’t think you’re old enough to know whether I’m crazy or not, missy,” the woman responds, sticking her tongue out at her daughter, which the little girl does right back.

“I read more than you do, so I would say I am more qualified to make a judgment on that than you are,” the woman’s daughter bites back with a sarcastic grin, and Minho just stares as the woman rolls her eyes and calls her daughter a nerd under her breath with a proud smile through it all.

Having to move on for the sake of his sanity (because if he gets any more opportunities to stare at the woman’s eyes and demeanor and general presence he will absolutely lose it - out of frustration or attraction is unclear), he clears his throat a little and raises the notepad and pencil he has at the ready to take their orders.

“Oh, right,” the woman sighs, grabbing a menu and flipping through it quickly. “I’ll have a cheeseburger with fries, a milkshake, a grilled cheese, two donuts and a cup of coffee. Hana?”

Minho just blankly stares at the woman, shocked at the amount of food she had ordered just for herself. It’s 4pm and she ordered food for at least two people? Then again, he muses to himself, she did have a kid so there was probably a husband around somewhere. Maybe they were meeting up and having an early dinner before the town meeting that night?

He tries not to think too hard about the notion of her having a husband; it’s stupid to be disappointed, especially when he still doesn’t know her name or really anything about her except for her crippling caffeine addiction.

“I want a cheeseburger, too,” the little girl - Hana - says thoughtfully, chewing on her lip. “Oh, and can I have extra fries, please?” He can’t say no to her adorable angel-like face (just as he predicted), and just nods, so she continues. “I also want a milkshake and a chocolate muffin, please.”

Her bizarre order goes over his head first, as he is distracted by the little girl’s impeccable manners and the thought that maybe, just maybe, all children aren’t demons, but then he registers what she said and raises his eyebrows as high as they can go.

“Are you sure? That’s a lot of food,” he points out gently. She thinks for a second, chewing on her bottom lip again, and then nods firmly.

“Yes, please,” she says, and he just nods.

“Okay then,” Minho says, half expecting her mother to chime in and tell her that no, it’s a Wednesday and she can’t have that many sweets, but nothing comes aside from an indulging smile.

He goes to the kitchen, tearing the page he had written on out of his notepad  and handing it to the chef dazedly. Then he turns around to look at the table again, and just stares. There was no way that little girl could eat that much food, was there?

As it turns out, there was. Minho watches in astonished horror as the sweet angelic little girl puts away a cheeseburger, extra fries, a milkshake and a chocolate muffin. Who really takes the cake, however, is Hana’s mother. His theory about the father joining them had evidently been entirely false, as the food that already had been a tall order for thwo people to consume had been completely devoured by no one except a mid-sized woman and her tiny six-year-old. On top of that, halfway through their meal, the older woman had ordered an extra plate of chili fries. How in the world those were gone in ten minutes, Minho would never know, and he is pretty happy that he can escape that knowledge.

When they are done eating, Hana’s mother patiently helps her wipe down their table so she can take out her homework and get started on it. She then looks around until she finds Minho and waves at him to come over with a smile. He ignores the somersault his stomach does at the gesture.

“Want to pay?” he asks, fully expecting that to be the case.

“Uhm, not yet. Could I just have another cup of coffee?” the woman asks, and he decides enough is enough.

“You do know caffeine is horrible for your health, right? So are burgers, fries, chili fries even more so, donuts and milkshakes,” he points out, fully expecting a screaming match. To his surprise, the woman just smiles brighter.

“Sure I know that. So, my cup of coffee?”

He just blinks in pure astonishment. He then turns around and goes behind the counter to grab the pot of coffee, returning to their table to fill her cup. Then the little girl looks up.

“Excuse me mister, what’s your name?”

The way the little girl has him wrapped around her finger already is terrifying. His heart is melting, he feels the urge to be all sappy and ask her about school, her friends and her hobbies, and play games with her or something. Whatever would make her smile. He has no idea where that urge came from.

“Uh, it’s Lee Minho,” he answers dumbly, looking down into those innocently sparkling eyes.

“Okay. Mr. Lee, could I have some orange soda, please? I’m a bit thirsty,” she says, and he feels the need to save the poor girl from her mother’s habits. Not really, but he is a healthy man himself, and he wants a kid like her to live a long, healthy and happy life.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer some water, then?” he asks gently, but when she shakes her head, he just sighs. “Coming right up. Oh, and you can just call me Minho.”

“Okay. Thank you, Minho. My name is Hana, and this is my mom Y/n. It’s nice to meet you,” she beams at him, and he feels himself melt once more. Damn it.

“Nice to meet you too, Hana,” he says and goes to fetch her soda.

Since that first afternoon the L/N girls visited his diner, Minho sees them at least three times a week for the next 3 years. Well, he sees Y/n pretty much every morning for her regular coffee fix. Apparently they did manage to fix Lambert, but apparently his coffee was “better than anything Lambert could ever make.” They told him vehemently that Lambert could never know this, and he had to keep it a secret from him. They both now greet him by name, and they usually have a quick chat about what’s going on, just like he does with some other regulars.

Then again, he can’t exactly claim that he is quite as interested in the other regulars as he is in the mother-daughter duo. He asks them about work and school, and they pull him into their debates over stupid stuff (that Hana almost always wins), and he finds himself enjoying it. It must be something about their positive outlook on life, or how crazy smart Hana is, or just about how excited they are about seemingly dull and boring things. They talked about the little town’s makeshift cinema as if it was entertainment of the highest degree, better than most things you can do in big cities, despite it being someone’s living room with a cheap projector and a popcorn machine. He does not understand it, but it sure is refreshing.

He’s still just as smitten with Hana as he was the first day, if not more. She’s intelligent and funny, and even though she does certain childish things, she largely feels like an innocent grown-up. He had once asked her about a book she was reading, which turned into a (one-sided) debate on different classical writers and their influence on both society and one another, and he was lost in the first minute. He briefly wondered if her mother had any idea what she was talking about, but it quickly became clear that she did not.

Then one day, only Y/n comes bursting through the door of the diner, during mid-morning no less. She is almost frantic, breathing hard and fast, eyes wild and hair ruffled.

“Minho!” she exclaims when she sees him, body sagging in relief. “I need your help.”

He immediately sets down the pot of coffee, walking towards her with furrowed brows. “What’s wrong?”

“My coffee?” a customer says impatiently.

“Bite me,” Minho responds over his shoulder without hesitation.

“It’s Hana,” she breathes, tears welling in her eyes. Minho puts a hand on her shoulder as he feels his heart speed up to a truly concerning pace. He doesn’t know if he’s trying to make her feel better, or if it’s purely to steady himself, but he thinks it doesn’t matter. “She-she has this, uhm… this stomach ache, and a really, really high fever, a-and it won’t go away and I was, uhm, I was reading this book, and,” a breath leaves her in a whoosh before she gulps down another one, “and it said something about if pressure on her stomach makes her feel better, she should go to the hospital because it might be appendicitis so I was going to take her to the hospital, but my stupid car won’t s-start and I need…” she stops and takes a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before looking at him with absolute fire in her eyes. “I need you to take us. Please.”

Minho’s brain is going a mile a minute. He thinks about nothing except for that poor girl in pain. He thinks about how awful he feels whenever he has a fever, and how much worse it must be for such a tiny, innocent little girl. And then he thinks about whether or not she’s staying warm despite her high temperature, because he heard something about keeping the temperature up helping the body beat viruses and bacteria and making you healthy faster. And then he thinks about what he should be doing in this position, because he’s never been a father bef-

And then he stops. He stops and thinks about the fact that he is not her father. He is not the person who should be worrying like this. He is not the person Y/n should be turning to, because she should have a support system in her husband, and he wonders why in the world her husband isn’t currently breaking a million traffic laws speeding down the highway to get his daughter into capable hands. And then…

He doesn’t like to think about it too much, but sometimes he can’t stop himself. Mainly when it’s late at night, and the town is quiet, and all he can hear is the hum of his broiler and the light shifting of the sheets whenever he breathes. That’s when he can’t stop his mind from imagining. Imagining being Hana’s father. God, how proud he would be. He imagines walking her to school, buying her gifts for her birthday and spoiling her without spoiling her too much because he still wants her to be a rational adult some day. He imagines cooking for her, imagines the day he gets her absolute favorite food right, and the way that Y/n would be in the kitchen while he cooks, sitting at the kitchen table in the house they would have, talking absolute nonsense with their daughter. He imagines waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of Hana getting a glass of water in the kitchen, only to roll over in bed and find Y/n, his wife, right there, sleeping soundly beside him.

That’s usually when he stops himself. But this time, he imagines that whole situation. And then he imagines Y/n, his (hypothetical) wife, asking another man to help her take his sick daughter to the hospital, and he can’t do it. So he does what he has been so diligently avoiding, and asks her.

“What about her father?”

Minho’s voice is gentle, and he looks into Y/n’s eyes just as softly. He wants her to understand that he would do absolutely anything for Hana, hell, he would do anything for her because he has no doubts that he is so in love with her he would marry her on the spot even though they’ve barely broached the basics about one another, but in this particular instant he really does not want to step on any toes.

But then, she scoffs. She scoffs at him, rolls her eyes, and her jaw clenches a bit. It’s a clear signal to him that her father is most likely not an option at the moment.

“Okay I know we haven’t talked about this and we really should, and I promise you we will, but please can we talk about it when my daughter is not in excruciating pain and needs her mommy? Please?”

So he lets go of all his preconceived notions and nods. He squeezes her shoulder once, then turns around and grabs his keys. He doesn’t even glance into the kitchen as he yells for his chef, Felix, to handle things for the rest of the day, even though he hears a startled and confused shout right before the door swings shut behind the pair of them, because he thinks that as long as Hana and Y/n are okay, his business could burn down for all he cares.

They get to the hospital okay, and Hana is immediately ushered into an exam room and then to an operating room. Minho isn’t in the exam room with them, but he does go to see the little girl off before the surgery.

“I’m scared,” she whispers to her mother, eyes shiny with unshed tears, but her mother just shushes her with a calm smile.

“That’s okay. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere except for the waiting room and maybe the cafeteria until you can come home with me.”

“Even if Channing Tatum asks you on a date right now?”

“Mm, I would have to consider it, but I think that if Channing can’t wait, we weren’t meant to be anyhow,” Y/n teases her daughter who just giggles in response. Then Hana turns to Minho.

“Thank you for driving us,” she says meekly, and he feels his heart twist and crush into a ball in his chest. “You really didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to, little one,” he smiles gently, and she reaches out a hand to him which he grasps immediately. “Thank you for letting me see you off before your surgery.”

“I’m glad you did,” she says back, eyes a little less teary. Then she gets a thoughtful look on her face. “Do you think I’ll have a cool scar?”

He can’t help himself and scoffs a little laugh, squeezing her hand encouragingly. He sees Y/n smile too, and he has somehow never felt as complete as he does in that exact moment. It scares him. It’s not real. But he will keep pretending for as long as he can.

“The coolest,” he answers before the doctors let them know that the OR is ready for them.

Minho and Y/n walk out to the waiting room and sink onto the chairs heavily. He is briefly impressed by how well she seemed to be handling everything, before he turns to her and sees her shaking, tears streaming down her face. She seems to be holding her breath, too, probably not wishing to openly sob in a hospital waiting room.

He briefly considers his options of hugging her or not before deciding that screw it, she needs comfort and he’s there so he will provide it for her. He smiles gently despite his heart breaking in his chest at her tears, and gets in front of her to half-crouch so he can give her a hug.

For a second he worries that he overstepped her boundaries, but then he feels her completely melt into his embrace and bury her face in his shoulder to muffle the sobs she no longer can hold back and shield her tear-streaked face from the other people in the room. She relaxes so much that they almost fall onto the floor, and Minho decides that it’s best to just pick her up in his arms and settle on one of the chairs with her in his lap.

It’s a horrible moment. She’s crying, sobbing, shaking, and he can’t do anything except hold her there. The woman who was so strong, so determined and so unique just crumbled in his arms like a tower of sand. He doesn’t say anything, just holds her. He puts a hand on the back of her head, the other remaining around her waist as she sits horizontally across his lap. He gently squeezes whenever her sobs get louder or her breathing picks up, just reminding her that he is there and he will remain there until she asks him not to.

After twenty minutes or so, her crying subsides into regular sniffling, and he feels her pull back from his shoulder to wipe at her face with the sleeve of her shirt. Then she clears her throat and sits up a bit straighter on his lap.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, voice still shaky.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just happy to help,” Minho says sincerely.

And it is sincere. There is nothing that has ever fulfilled him more than this moment, helping and feeling useful and needed and wanted. It’s a sad moment, awful even, but he feels like there is nowhere else he would rather be either way.

He has come to terms with the fact that he views Hana as family. He sees her so often, and she always talks to him, listens to what he has to say almost as if she admires him, and it fills his heart more than anything. When she gets full points on her homework, as she always does, no one (except her mother) is more proud than he is. As long as he gets to be in her life, he is happy.

“God, I’m sorry for bursting in there and just babbling and making you take us,” Y/n breathes out as if she didn’t hear him. “You really didn’t have to, but I pushed and now you probably hate us bo-”

“Impossible,” he interrupts, and Y/n stops rambling. “You two are part of my routine now. I care, you know?”

She gazes at him in shock, searching for any trace of insincerity. When she doesn’t find one, her face slowly melts into a fond smile despite the fear still present on her face. He briefly thinks that she never looked more beautiful, although he’s pretty sure he thinks that every time he lays eyes on her.

“Thank you, Minho,” she sighs out, slumping a bit again.

She seems to realize she’s still firmly positioned on his lap, and immediately gets up, clearing her throat. He immediately mourns the loss of her weight on him, but doesn’t say anything.

“So, I think I promised you a talk about Hana’s dad,” she says after a few moments of silence.

“Oh, that,” Minho says, suddenly feeling like a douche. “Look, if you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. It has nothing to do with me anyway. I just wanted to make sure I don’t… make a situation uncomfortable.”

Y/n snorts, and he immediately shuts up. What’s that supposed to mean? Did he say something stupid?

“Minho, how many times have we been at your diner in the past few years?” she starts, an unreadable look on her face. He thinks it’s unnatural how she manages to look beautiful even in hospital lighting. “I can’t count the amount of times. If her dad was around, don’t you think that he would have shown up, or we would have mentioned him at least once?”

He casts his mind back over the years, and realizes it might have been a stupid question. Then again, some fathers weren’t very present in their children’s lives. Maybe he lived out of the country, or he worked night shifts so he was always asleep during the day. He had no way of knowing.

“I don’t know,” he answers after a few moments. “Some people are just like that, I guess.”

She slowly nods, mulling over his words for a second. “I suppose,” she then says, smiling faintly. “He kind of is, actually. Either way, to set the record straight; her father - Changbin - isn’t in the picture.” When he failed to mask his intrigue at the answer, she just laughed a little. “I got pregnant at 16. He wanted to get married, but I didn’t. Kind of glad now, to be honest - I doubt he will ever grow up.” Her words hold an edge of irritation, but she is evidently trying to push that feeling back. “He talks to Hana on the phone sometimes, when he gets the time. Last we talked I’m pretty sure he said he was in Ibiza? It doesn’t really matter. I have Hana, and she has me, and we’re okay like this. We learned not to expect too much from him long ago - not that we were expecting much in the first place.”

Minho listens until Y/n stops talking. He struggles a bit to figure out what he thinks of the situation. At least the man had offered to do the right thing, he supposes. Then again, from the sound of it Y/n had made the right decision in not marrying that guy, whoever he is. He comes to the conclusion that it doesn’t actually matter. Like she said, the two of them have one another, and if they say that’s enough, then he believes them.

“Okay. Thank you for telling me, and letting me know I wasn’t severely pissing some dude off for acting like a father to his daughter for a few hours,” he jokes mildly, and then regrets it. He shouldn’t have said father. Just because he sees Hana as a sort of surrogate daughter does not mean that she or her mother feel the same way, or even think that it’s okay.

But then Y/n smiles softly again, and he can relax. “Yeah. She’s lucky to have someone who does.”

His heart feels like it’s beating in his throat, his body warm from the inside due to all the feelings filling his chest. God, he wishes he had the courage to offer to do it always, to move in and help Y/n with raising her daughter because he knows that she must have it hard at times, no matter how angelic Hana is. But he doesn’t. So he just nods and smiles.

#lee know x reader #skz minho #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x y/n #skz x reader #skz x you #skz x y/n #lee know x you #lee know x y/n #lee minho x reader #lee minho x you #lee minho x y/n #stray kids fic #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #skz fic #skz lee know #skz fluff #skz angst #clownracha monthly

[coupsie-daisies]

Silver Screen Soulmates | Park Jimin

Pairing: Park Jimin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers (one sided), Actor AU, kinda hurt/comfort

Summary: Being Jimin’s leading lady is a big task, and being in Park Jimin’s shadow is absolutely insufferable. Jimin can’t understand how you’re in his shadow when you shine brighter than the sun itself.

Word Count: 11.8k (I’m so sorry)

Warnings: Lots of alcohol, Reader gets hate online, lots of cussing, Reader is messy

A/N: So it’s a tiny bit late because the header was giving me problems, but here’s my contribution to the clownracha monthly prompt for July; Lights, Camera, Action. Enjoy!

Tags: @dragonofthenorth0726 // @felixtok // @sunnytaes // @burningupp // @bunnypig18 // @chrswolfie // @ferrethyun

This fanfiction and the header attached are property of @/hobi-is-golden, reposting on any platform without explicit permission is prohibited

"Cut,” The director called, and you sighed. Whether it was a sound of relief or frustration was still up in the air. You loved acting, it had taken over the depths of you. It was your co-star who always seemed to give you problems.

Jimin was a good actor, a great actor even. Not that you’d be caught dead saying something like that near him. There were a lot of things you’d learned about Park Jimin since you’d first met him, and if you were to describe him, it would sound like praise.

He was hardworking, the most dedicated man you’d ever met. He was a perfectionist, and that might be one of the biggest understatements ever. Actually, he was sweet, sickeningly so. He never wanted to see anyone frown, and he would do damn near anything for damn near anyone.

Park Jimin was, at best, an angel. And at worst, he was your worst fucking nightmare.

“Can we do that one more time?” Jimin asked with a charming smile. It was the same one he always used with the press when he tried to get on their good side or make a perfect impression. You groaned, not even bothering to hide your exasperation as you shot the director a pleading look.

“Again? We’ve shot this scene like a hundred times.” You said, completely ready to stand your ground on this one. You completely understood only wanting to put your best on the big screen. But you were already behind schedule, and it was because of Jimin’s perfectionism. “Please, there’s got to be enough good takes already.”

You heard Jimin scoff beside you, his hands landing on his hips. You shot him a side-eyed glare.

“I know we’re nearing the end of the shoot schedule, but we should still be putting in one hundred percent effort.” He said. Your jaw dropped. Surely he wasn’t implying that you were slacking off on your work.

“I’m putting in just as much effort as you are, thank you very much.” You jabbed your finger towards him. “I just don’t think it’s necessary to keep rerunning the same scene over and over. It’s a waste of everyone’s time, energy, and money.”

“You’re saying it’s a waste of time to film a good movie? Isn’t that what we’re here to do?”

You rolled your eyes. Low fucking blow.

“You know that’s not what I’m fucking saying.”

“Well that’s what it sounds like. I know you’re not a quitter, and you do too, so why are you acting like one?”

“Don’t talk about things you don’t know.” You snapped, hands curling and uncurling at your sides. The tension sparking between you and your co-star was becoming stifling.

“Alright, let’s all take 15. We’ll pick up with the next scene then..” The director dismissed everyone, and you glared at Jimin again as you turned to leave.

You were dialing your best friend’s phone number before you were even to your trailer. It rang a few times, and you dug in the back of your brain for what his schedule should be looking like. He was a model, so he tended to be busy, much like yourself. When he finally answered, you sighed in relief.

“You’re a go for Hoseok,” He said. On any normal day, you’d be teasing him for his dorky answer. Instead, you jumped straight into your rant.

“I hate him so much,” You announced. “Are you free for food tonight?”

You heard him laugh on the other end of the phone, completely used to your tense relationship with Jimin. It was hard not to be since the two of you had become a matching set when you were only kids. Ever since then, the universe had been dead set on making you deal with him.

“Uh, my night should be clear after my next fitting. That should be over and done with in a couple of hours. So yeah.” He told you. “Not having fun playing house with Jimin today?”

The teasing lilt of his voice only irritated you further. You probably would have said something about it had it been anyone but him. However, you were used to the fact that tormenting you was one of Hoseok’s favorite pastimes anyway, his way of showing his affection. Convoluted motherfucker.

“Understatement of the year, actually.” You said, letting yourself into your trailer and collapsing onto the sofa inside. “I know he’s the media’s golden boy, that’s all great and whatever, but I swear he’s out to get me. I’ve never even done anything to him, I’m just never good enough.”

You could hear voices in the background of the call, and you knew you were being childish, calling and disrupting Hoseok’s already busy workday over something as stupid as a little tiff with Jimin.

As previously mentioned, Jimin was the golden boy of the acting world. He’d made his debut when he was only nine, and he was a quadruple threat; He could act, he could sing, he could dance, and he was downright beautiful to boot. Saying something to the wrong person could cause an uproar and sink your hard earned career without so much as a second to rebut.

And that was yet another thing that had always bothered you. You were used to it, sure, but it was sickening and absolutely terrifying knowing that your entire career was riding on the way the media swooned over you and Jimin as a pair. At first, when you were much younger, it was flattering to be deemed Jimin’s silver screen soulmate. After all, he was perfect and had been acting for several years longer than you had. So it must have meant something that you’d managed to get tied to him so tightly. But the older you got, and the more you tried to branch out, the more frustrating it became to be pigeonholed like that. You were never praised on your own merits, only on your association with Jimin. The first time you acted on your own, in a movie with which he wasn’t even connected, all of the headlines only referred to you as ‘Park Jimin’s leading lady’, and maybe that left you more bitter than you’d expected.

“I know you’re busy, and I have to be back soon. I’ll text you when we wrap up for the night, okay?” You said. Hoseok made a small noise of surprise, clearly expecting for you to have carried on with your story about your ruined day.

“Oh yeah, sure. I’ll talk to you later then.”

“Yeah. Bye, oppa.” You hung up, closing your eyes and heaving a heavy sigh. You were ready to be finished with this movie. Maybe you’d talk to your manager about taking a bit of a break.

Once your day was wrapped up, you’d made your way to Hoseok’s place. He’d gotten your favorites, a scattering of takeout boxes in front of you. You were both kicked back on his plush couch, a movie playing on the television that you’d both seen a hundred times before. It was what you’d both always put on after a hard day.

“So he made you shoot it again?” He asked, bringing his noodles to his lips to blow on them. You nodded, chewing your own mouthful of food.

“Yeah. And I know he’s talented, and he’s more experienced than me, but the absolute disrespect to accuse me of half-assing my job?” You said, motioning with your chopsticks and stabbing them back into your rice. “I don’t know why he’s such a little brat! I have never slacked off on set. And I actually worked hard to get where I am, unlike him.”

You knew you weren’t exactly being fair, you knew that Jimin worked harder than most, and he made sure to work extra hard to make up for the fact that he’d had it fairly easy in his career. His mother was a well known screenwriter, his father the head of a production company. It only made sense for him to end up in the industry as well. But you? Your parents had always worked overtime at mediocre, mid-paying jobs just to make ends meet and allow you to study and chase your dreams. You sighed.

“I’m not overreacting, am I? I mean to say something like that in front of so many people is just…it’s humiliating.”

Hoseok reached out, rubbing your leg and giving it a small squeeze of reassurance.

“It’s reasonable to be mad that he’d say something like that. I mean, I’ve never known you to half-ass anything, much less on camera.”

You raised your eyebrows, pausing halfway through bringing more food to your lips. Oh, you most certainly sensed a ‘but’ coming.

“But?”

“But…maybe he really is just trying to shoot a good movie. I mean, we both know that he’s never satisfied with his work, so maybe it’s not just about you. Maybe he’s, I don’t know, maybe he’s projecting or something.” Hoseok shrugged, stealing a piece of your steamed broccoli. You didn’t swat at him like usual, trying to take in what he’d said.

Projecting? You’d never considered that the words Jimin threw at you weren’t actually about you. And even if they were, there was something in you that refused to let that be a good enough reason to talk down to you. You were just as good as him, he’d told you once that you were the best actor he’d ever worked with in your age group. And as an amateur no less. So how could he look you in the eye now and say that you weren’t trying?

You huffed, setting your food aside. You really didn’t feel like eating anymore.

“I just can’t wait to take a break. Maybe I’m just getting burnt out.” You picked up your phone, deciding to shoot your manager, Seokjin, a text asking if he could work out a little time to yourself. At least a week before you accepted another role.

“You deserve a break. I’m pretty sure you work harder than anyone I know.” Hoseok agreed.

You relaxed, turning your attention to the movie and grabbing one of the pillows you two had moved aside to cling to. You were grateful for this sort of normalcy that you really only found with your parents or with Hoseok. He’d clawed and climbed his way into the top modeling agency from nothing, so he understood your struggles and your insecurities better than anyone else you’d met.

He didn’t judge you when you broke down after a hard day, or when you wondered if you even deserved to be as well known as you were. And in moments like this, when everything was upsetting you and there really was no answer, he was good at sitting with you and not trying to rationalize.

“Hey, you know that you’re a really good actor, right?” He said. You smiled.

“Thanks, oppa. I know,”

And you laid back against his couch, eyes turned to the ceiling. You didn’t know why you cared so much about what Jimin had to say when it came to you, or why you were so dead set on being good enough for his unreasonable standards, but your naturally competitive nature. and the way that he never failed to get on your nerves meant you had to do better. And you knew you could if you worked at it. You sighed, hugging the cushion tighter. Just a couple more weeks, and filming would be over. Then it was on to promotions, and eventually the premiere. Hopefully you’d have a breather between projects, a little vacation sounded nice.

A few more hours passed you by, and movies were swapped out. The lights had been turned off, leaving just the flickering light of the television screen and the glow of your phone since Hoseok had long since dozed off, sprawled across his side of the couch. You scrolled your social media, flicking between your personal accounts and your professional ones, keeping an eye on the tags for the movie you were working on.

Most of the time you enjoyed reading the newest tweets. It was nice seeing so many people from different backgrounds rallying around something you were pouring your heart and soul into. Seeing their excitement brought energy back to your weary mind. And even the hate comments usually made you giggle or spurred you on to prove them wrong. Especially since the support well outweighed the hate.

But maybe, and you really should have known this, reading hate tweets when you were already hating yourself wasn’t your best idea, especially in the middle of the night when you were tipsy and couldn’t sleep.

‘Y/N isn’t even talented, Jimin probably just felt bad and now he’s stuck carrying her dead weight’

‘It’s pathetic that Y/N Y/L/N has to be in movies with Park Jimin just to get publicity’

‘Jimin could do so much better, I don’t know why anyone thinks they’re together. She’s not even half as hot as he is’

You locked your phone and tipped your head back against the pillow you’d propped under you. Even with your social media put away for the night, the words spun in your head. Tryhard, social climber, talentless, mediocre. You choked on your own insecurity, your stomach turning sour. Maybe late night margaritas were a bad idea. You put your phone aside.

You knew better, or at least you told yourself otherwise. You weren’t worthless, you were a good actor, a good person, a hard worker. Everything you had you’d worked for. Your words didn’t seem to do you any good as you tossed and turned and tried to fall asleep. You wondered, though rather bitterly, if Jimin thought those things about you too? Had his words of praise throughout the years just been a smokescreen? A means of kindness regardless of honesty?

You threw your arms over your eyes, blocking out the light and forcefully counting your breaths in your head, determined to fall asleep, even if only to stop thinking about what everyone else may say behind your back.

The anxiety was easier to stomach in the morning than it had been the night before. You took advantage of Hoseok’s kindness and his couch, spending most of your day off lounging on the plush cushions and keeping up with your social media. Reading your socials was easier this time than it had been before when your emotions were running rampant. Still, Jimin was in the back of your mind. He usually was actually, so much so that Hoseok was half convinced that the media relationship the two of you had was infiltrating your actual emotions. But there was a vast difference, you’d always remind him, between admiring someone and seeing why the world puts them on a pedestal, and having feelings for them. He liked to argue that the line wasn’t nearly as wide as you were making it out to be. You wondered if his sweet nature extended to people he didn’t like, if he was pretending with you all this time. You sincerely hoped he wasn’t pretending.

The next week of filming had you wondering. Which was infuriating, quite frankly, because you really had been prepared to focus on yourself and muddle through. Over-analyzing your feelings wasn’t on the schedule, especially since you thought you’d left your stupid little schoolgirl crush in your teenage years. But the more you paid attention, the more you noticed the way Jimin hovered around you. The way your heart would skip a beat when he waved at you from across the set, or the way you’d find yourself smiling when he’d bring you coffee in the mornings, just the way you liked it. When he’d memorized your order for all your favorite places you weren’t sure. And when exactly you’d begun feeling like you were in the presence of the sun itself around him was another big question mark in your mind. But it all pointed towards one earth-shattering realization.

You were in love with your worst nightmare.

“Hey, are you with us?” Jimin asked you, and you shook yourself out of your daze. The director had been talking to the both of you, and you’d at least caught most of it. Confession, yada yada, something, something, chemistry. Yeah, you got it.

“Yeah, I’m here, sorry. I just need another coffee or something. But I’m here.” You told him, giving him a pressed smile when he locked eyes with you. You almost felt a bit uneasy being under his gaze, it was as if he were trying to see right through you down to your soul. You cleared your throat and looked away, passing your script to one of the assistants and asking if she could please have a coffee ordered for you.

A few adjustments were made, the director walking through where the scene was going to start, how he wanted you two to run it. You nodded, letting yourself fall into your comfort zone. This was natural, you were good at this. You were good, you realized, at pretending to be in love with Jimin.

You took your places, allowing yourself to reconnect with your character. She was different from you, less fiery and less unforgiving. She wanted to trust people and it got her hurt often. You tried hard to remember that as the cameras began rolling.

You walked to the table that was set up, sitting down and looking at your hands in your lap, feigned indifference. The scene pictured a quaint garden patio with only the two of you. Jimin was pacing, looking up when you sat down.

“You came.” He said in disbelief. You nodded slowly.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” You ask in response, letting out a soft laugh. “You said you wanted to talk, so I’m here to talk.”

He nodded, stopping in front of you. He took a deep breath, and you watched his chest rise, then fall.

“Why did you tell me to marry someone else?” He asked after a second. You paused, making sure to look taken aback by the question.

“I think that should be obvious. Your sister hates me, your parents tried to sabotage every opportunity we had.” You shook your head. “There are dozens of other women you could be with. People who could make your family shine much more than I can.”

He shook his head as you stood up.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come. But I know you can do better than me, and I know you’ll find someone better suited to….all of this.” You looked around at the garden, a show of wealth from Jimin’s character.

“Wait, please don’t leave me like this.” You felt a tug in your chest as he caught your hand in his, you both lingered there a moment before you turned to face him.

“Don’t make this harder. You’ll be fine, I’ve seen the women waiting for a chance with you. Your mother has a list as long as you are.”

Jimin reached up, cupping your cheek. The way his thumb brushed along your cheekbone made something unpleasant tug in your chest again, and you fought a wave of nausea.

“Don’t say things like that. It’s always been you, you have to know that. No matter who comes or goes, my heart is yours.” His whispered voice was sharp along the edges with desperation as he delivered his line.

A line, part of a script. Someone else’s words, not his own. On cue your eyes began to sting with tears, and you blinked.

“But if it was always me,” You began as a few droplets slipped down your cheeks. “If it was always me, then why did it feel like I always came in last? Like you expected me to be someone else?”

He hesitated, always the perfect actor, and you swallowed around the lump in your throat as you looked up at him. You desperately wanted to know if he could see through your tears, through your character. Could he see the way your chest was ripping open with every line he recited?

“I never meant to make you feel like that. I thought I was doing what was best for you, for both of us.” He said, shaking his head. You could feel your control slipping, tears coming faster and breath growing increasingly hiccuped.

“Don’t. Don’t act like you know what I want or- Or how I feel. It hurts,” You snapped.

There it was, a silent shift in the atmosphere on set. You went off script. That wasn’t unusual for an actor, but everyone knew how Jimin felt about improv, and you knew as Jimin’s usual scene partner that it was the fastest way to bring out his attitude. And you were a professional, you could practically hear your manager’s voice in your mind, gently scolding you for letting yourself crack.

Jimin stared at you, his hand falling away from your face and leaving your cheek feeling uncomfortably cold. You lowered your gaze, blinking a few more times to unblur your vision which was being obscured by your tears. Your stomach was churning anxiously, waiting for someone to call cut. But apparently the director liked what he was seeing. Probably the authenticity he’d been saying was lacking since day one of shooting.

“I don’t know what you want, you’re right. I just wanted to help and make this easier.” He attempted, clearly trying to get the situation back under control, but you were too far gone. The tone of his voice wavered, and you didn’t know if it was hurt, or irritation, or if it was all put on just like every other thing he’d ever said to you. A show for the cameras. You weren’t a huge fan of any of those options.

“Everything is always about you, isn’t it? It’s all about how you feel, what you think, what you want and I can’t–”

“Cut!”

You took a couple of steps back from him, your chest heaving as you fought to calm yourself down. It was hot, and your head was spinning.

“I’m sorry, can I…I need a break. Can I just, um…” You stumbled around the sentence, shooting Seokjin and the director a desperate look. They shared a silent glance of their own before waving you off.

You turned fast, booking it out of the building. You needed air, you had to pull yourself together. Never in all your years of acting had you ever done something so monumentally stupid. You sniffled, patting away your tears with a special care not to completely fuck up your makeup since your team had worked so hard on it.

“Stupid fucking feelings. What the hell, Y/N?” You hissed to yourself. You were so wrapped up in your own head that you didn’t hear the door open behind you.

“Hey, what the hell was that?” His voice caught you off guard, and you groaned, curling in even further on yourself.

“I really don’t need to hear it, Jimin. I know I’m wasting everyone’s time, I know I’m being unprofessional, okay? I know.” You snapped breathlessly, trying to ease the way your chest was aching.

“When the hell have I ever disregarded what you want?” He asked, continuing to press closer. You glared at him through teary eyes.

“When haven’t you? You never consider how I want a scene to go, how I want to deal with the media. I’ve never even had a chance to escape you because everything I do is all about how good I look with you. Dammit, Jimin, I’m just as important as you are. I’m just as talented, and I’m just as passionate. And maybe if you could see that, everyone else would too.”

It wasn’t the first time you’d ever snapped at Jimin, but it was the first time he’d seen you so worked up. He furrowed his brow. Did you think he didn’t know all of that? Did you think he didn’t respect you? Sure, you never saw eye to eye, not since you were both children, but if there was one person who was unwaveringly on Jimin’s level, it was you. It had never occurred to him that you didn’t know how far out of his way he went to work with you.

“You’ve never told me what you wanted. You can’t blame me for taking the lead when you don’t.” He said coldly. And then he was beating himself up because that really wasn’t what he was trying to say, but he wasn’t very good at letting it slide when his pride was hurt. He clenched his fists at his sides. “You shouldn’t come back until you’re ready and able to have an efficient shoot.”

He turned away, and your stomach churned. How was it that you could bare your soul to him, tell him how he’s been hurting you, and all he can give you in return is a scolding for being unprofessional and not stepping on his toes? You covered your face, blinking back tears that left a burning sensation behind your eyes. The sooner you could stop crying, the sooner you could move on with the shoot and leave all of this shit behind you.

You stayed outside for a while, allowing your tears to dry and your mind to calm down. You must have been gone too long, because they sent Jin out to come get you. He tried to calm you down and brush it off as if nothing had even happened, Jin was kind that way. And he was also good at pep talks, something that you found very helpful. So with one more coffee downed in a minute and a half, and a serious pep talk from Seokjin under your belt, you were shuffled off to get your hair and makeup touched up and then it was back on. The scene didn’t hurt as much the next time around, you had gotten your frustration out already. And the whispers on set about your outburst stayed behind closed doors. You wondered why, but you weren’t ungrateful for the calm.

The next week went by in a blur, and before you knew it filming was over. No matter how many complaints you had about the entire process, you knew you were going to miss it. Even the frustrating parts, or the exhaustion that kept you in bed on your free days. This was what you did, you weren’t even sure what it was like any other way.

As requested, Seokjin had managed to book you a couple of weeks of down time before your next project, and the spare time flew by. And your next project was a much smaller role, which was of course fine by you. Then you were accompanying Hoseok for a few events. The chaos of your schedule resumed, and for a long while you’d completely forgotten about the whole fiasco with Jimin.

Eventually your luck ran out and you were thrust into interview after interview. They were always your least favorite part of the process, dealing with probing questions, some horribly shallow and others diving way too deep into your personal life. And you were expected to always smile and laugh, flirt for the sake of looking sweet and charming. You were a good actor, but sometimes interviews just had you feeling fake.

You had a couple with Jimin, but not once did your slip up on set come into the conversation, during your interviews or behind the scenes. Actually, you were pretty sure Jimin was avoiding you. There were no snack or drink deliveries like there had been in the past, or check-ins after particularly uncomfortable interviews. As grateful as you were that he didn’t decide to bring up your emotional outburst, you found your heart sinking in your chest every time he walked past with nothing more than a smile or a nod of acknowledgment.

It was after yet another interview that you were sitting with Hoseok again, curled up on his sofa in the comfort of your pajamas and fuzzy socks. You and Jimin had both recorded interviews, separate but to be aired together, and you were reluctantly watching them now, sharing a snack bowl with your friend. So far the interviews were pretty average, if a bit boring, but your ears perked up at the mention of your name.

“How do you feel working so closely with Y/N given all the rumors that surround the two of you?” The interviewer shifted in her seat, leaning towards Jimin across the table they were sitting at as if they were sharing the juiciest gossip of all time.

Jimin laughed, that sweet sound that always charmed women and men alike.

“Y/N is great to work with, and we’ve known each other for so long. She really is such a wonderful person, easily the most caring and supporting actor on every set she steps foot on.” He said with a bright smile. 

Your heart nearly skipped a beat at his kind words. You knew that he was lying, especially after the way you’d acted before. But it still made you happy to hear.

The interviewer smiled knowingly, tapping her pristinely manicured nails against her arm before continuing.

“So you don’t agree with the opinions flying on social media about Y/N’s skill on the big screen? Or lack thereof?” She asked. Jimin tensed, a surprised chuckle passing his lips, but it was humorless.

“Any implication that she is untalented, or that I’ve had any hand in her success is ridiculous. She’s one of the most talented actors I’ve met, and she’s worked hard to be. If anything, I’m honored that she chooses to work with me on so many projects.”

You were admittedly surprised to hear him so quickly shoot down his own fans, or to raise you above him. You huffed out a shocked laugh. What was he thinking?

You grabbed for your phone as the interview continued on. He’d continued defending you, talking about your skill and the light you brought onto set. You couldn’t believe the confidence he had telling his own fans, telling anyone that they shouldn’t talk about you in a negative light. Didn’t he know that telling people what to think could damage his reputation? Didn’t he know that he was speaking too highly of you?

“What are you doing?” Hoseok asked as you scrolled through your contacts.

“I’m calling him.” You answered as if it were obvious. You pressed your phone to your ear, letting it ring.

“What? Why?”

“Because he’s being an idiot, that’s why. I can’t fucking believe-”

“Hello?”

“Park Jimin, what the fuck were you thinking saying those things about me?” You snapped. You heard him sigh on the other end, and you wondered if he’d expected you to call. Your twitter must be exploding with people speculating about his affections for you. If the dating rumors weren’t flying before, they’d certainly be ramping up now.

“I was just telling the truth.”

“I don’t need you to defend me! I can defend myself.”

“I know you can. You weren’t. There’s no point in yelling at me over it, it’s done now.”

“Fuck you, Jimin. Fuck all of this. I don’t need you to defend me, you didn’t have to do that.” You weren’t entirely sure why it was bothering you, maybe it was the way you hated being pitied, or maybe the fact that you couldn’t stand hearing him say things that you didn’t believe.

“I’m not defending you because I have to. I’m defending you because I want to. And you can say whatever you want to me, but I don’t intend to stop. Goodnight, Y/N.”

The silence after he hung up was deafening, and your stomach felt like a restless sea. You lowered your phone, staring at his contact photo. When did things change between you two? When had they gotten better? Or had they gotten worse? You ran your hand over your face, pushing your hair back and sinking lower on Hoseok’s couch.

“Good chat?” He asked. You shot him the sharpest glare you could muster, but he just laughed.

“Shut up. I hate him.”

You were grateful for the lack of interaction over the next several months. You did have a few interviews or promotional appearances with Jimin, but for the most part you barely had to talk to him. And you knew, if you pushed aside your pride and your own stubbornness that you were being childish again. You had overreacted, and he’d stayed ever calm and patient with you.

Now though it was premiere day, and avoiding Jimin for the entire evening (plus the after party that one of the other cast members had roped you into) was going to be damn near impossible. Especially with the way you were all but expected to play up your chemistry for the cameras. Luckily for you, you’d at least have Hoseok to drag along with you.

“How do I look?” You asked him, stepping out of your room where Hoseok was not so patiently waiting for you. Mostly because your driver would be waiting on the both of you if you took much longer. Of course you’d have stylists touching you up before you even faced the public.

“Like a goddess, can we go now?” Hoseok said, not even looking up from his phone. You huffed.

“Oppa,” You whined. “I need your opinion, you’re the one working in the fashion industry, not me.”

He sighed, looking up finally and smiling.

“You look amazing, you always do. You don’t really think I’d let you leave this house looking bad do you?” He asked, standing up to adjust the laces on your brand name heels – damned things were nearly impossible to tie on your own.

“Thanks. Come on, I know you’re itching to go.” You nudged at him once he’d finished fixing your shoes, grabbing your clutch and following him out the door and to the sleek black car awaiting you both.

Once inside, you sighed, wishing you could fiddle with your hair to relieve the nerves. You settled instead for toying with one of the rings that adorned your fingers.

“Why are you so nervous? You’ve gone to, like, a million of these things.” Your friend questioned, helping himself to a tiny bottle of champagne from the mini fridge. You shrugged.

“I guess that shit with Jimin is getting to me, and everything with people attacking me on the internet. I think I’m just ready to be done with this movie.” You tried to explain. And you wanted to go on to explain that you really were grateful to have been given the opportunity you were, but you knew that Hoseok understood without you tripping over your words to explain it.

“Well, you’re almost done. Let’s get this premiere over with.” He offered you a drink, and you greedily took it, thankful for something to smooth the nerves even a little bit.

The ride to the premiere was surprisingly long, plus you had to have your hair and makeup touched up before being delivered at the end of the media walk. Hoseok got out first, meeting you with an arm extended which you took with a smile. It wasn’t your usual smile, this was a smile just for the press.

The two of you walked the length of the carpet arm in arm, stopping to say hi to friends or coworkers and answer a couple questions for interviewers. This was always the most chaotic bit, everyone scrambling for everyone’s attention, camera flashes going off left and right. 

When Jimin arrived, everyone knew it, even just from the screams of fans beyond the barriers trying to catch a glimpse of everyone. You tensed, your head instantly turning to see him coming. You knew the cameras were focused on the two of you now, even more so when he rushed through the carpet to catch up with you.

And dammit if he didn’t look stunning in an all black ensemble, his makeup lightly done, and his hair styled perfectly away from his forehead. You swallowed, smiling as he wrapped an arm around you in greeting.

“I got caught up with some other co-stars, I thought I was gonna miss her.” He said, not to you but to the cameras that were trained on you. “Can’t walk the red carpet without my leading lady.”

The simmering irritation at his charm was still there, and the taste of playing up a flirtation for the cameras was sickening. He greeted Hoseok too, and when his arm slipped away from around your shoulders you nearly sighed in relief.

Getting through the rest of the media went quickly, you and Jimin bantering and answering questions as vaguely as you could about the movie. Yes, you were super excited to see everyone’s hard work pay off. No, you couldn’t imagine things going any better. Yes, you were very grateful to work with your crew. Obviously you were nervous. No, you wouldn’t say your parts were any better than anyone else’s.

Finally you were ushered inside by staff. You hadn’t seen Seokjin since you’d gotten in, and you desperately wished you would. Just one more person to play buffer between you and Jimin. But even inside, Jimin’s kind nature didn’t falter. He smiled, telling you both again how wonderful you looked.

“I’m gonna say hi to a few people, but I imagine we’re seated near each other. I’ll see you both in a while.” He flashed a smile, and then he was sweeping off towards where a few of your fellow actors were chatting over complimentary drinks.

“I think that’s the most he’s said to me in months.” You admitted, grabbing a drink from a waiter’s tray and flashing them a grateful smile. You took a sip, and it took a great deal of your self control not to down it all at once. You weren’t normally a heavy drinker, but you were entirely prepared to drink your night away. After all, what is a movie premiere if not a pre-after party?

Once you were surrounded by friends and peers, your anxiety lessened. So much so that you temporarily forgot that you were stressed about the shambles of your relationship with Jimin at all. You chatted and talked with so many people that it half became a blur, catching up with friends from projects you’d worked on years ago. But finally, the movie was set to start, and you had a chance to relax even for a moment.

The movie came out better than even you had expected, though you were hardly surprised by that. The applause and cheers as the movie came to an end and the credits rolled brought on a sense of joy that you couldn’t find anywhere else. Pride, and excitement, and relief all rolling into one big starburst that exploded in your chest.

Hoseok hugged you tight, and you hugged him back, and were given congratulations from many of the guests. One step after the next until, finally, you were all dispersing for the after party.

The after party was held at someone or other’s hotel, with lights dimmed low and music pounding through the speakers. It reminded you of the sorts of things your friends had thrown in college but on a much bigger scale and with much more expensive booze. Which you were admittedly grateful for as you were given a mixed drink by one of the bartenders serving everyone.

You’d lost Hoseok somewhere with some guy who you were sure you’d met before but couldn’t quite recall. So you were happy to be settled by the bar, your phone in hand and eyes scanning the crowd. Every once in a while you’d find yourself chit chatting with other cast members, like Sammi who was getting a refill and decided to chat with you about her on again off again relationship with a dancer from Europe who you’d met maybe once or twice, or Max who was desperately trying to get you on their team for a drinking game they were playing on the other side of the room.

Now, however, you were chatting it up with Namjoon, one of the assistant directors on the project and a film prodigy really. He was sipping a cola, you’d heard that he hardly drank. And it was a nice conversation, discussing your relief at how well the film had come out and how you hoped it would be received.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Namjoon asked you after a while. You were on your third drink just since getting to the hotel, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t walking the line of intoxication, nearly toppling headfirst into the deep end. You nodded, sipping from the margarita in your hand.

“Sure, I’m an open book.” You agreed. He nodded, still seeming to mull over the question in his mind.

“I don’t mean this to be taken the wrong way, but that day on set,” He began. You tensed on the barstool beside him, shifting and smoothing your hand over your thighs. “Where did that emotion come from when you went off script? It was so powerful to watch back, and I was curious if it was maybe something that could be harnessed and used in scenes.”

His question was innocent, a genuine question from someone wholly passionate about their work, and you could respect and appreciate that. It made you smile. You tapped your fingers against the stem of your glass.

“I guess…I’d had a realization recently about the way my relationship with Jimin works, and I sort of let the irritation I felt in that moment get the best of me. I’m not sure if that was because of stress or exhaustion, but I don’t usually let things bother me like that.” You took a drink, thinking over his thought process. “I guess it could be used in a scene, the intensity of it. But I think anyone who has ever been overcome with emotion can pull that out with practice.”

Namjoon made a sound of amazement beside you, and you laughed. You hadn’t meant to sound all wise or anything, so you waved it off.

“Okay, we need shots. Then you’re dancing with me. Yeah?” You pointed to him, already turning to get a bartender’s attention before he could answer. This night was supposed to be fun, and most of your friends – Hoseok included – were on the dance floor that took up a great deal of the room.

You would have known that three shots of tequila in a row was a bad idea had they not been chasing several other drinks. But the looseness in your body was nice, and so was the way that the drinks made your anxiety stop spinning in your head. The music was loud, and you’d probably have the worst hangover in the morning, but you didn’t care as you danced in the crowd, your back pressed to Namjoon’s front as you both moved to the steady beat of the song and giggled into each other’s ears.

Hoseok appeared in front of you after several songs spent in your own little world with Namjoon, and you beamed at him.

“Hoseok oppa!” You cheered, reaching to grab his arm. He smiled back, looking over your shoulder at the man who was still holding you tight by your waist.

“Hey, sunshine. Good to see you’re having fun.” He said, holding his drink out of your reach when you reached for it.

“Give.” You ordered sternly, and he laughed, this time in your face with all the scornful mirth of an older brother.

“You look like you’ve had enough. It’s getting late, maybe I should get you home.” He said. You shook your head.

“No, we’re dancing! Right, Joonie? I can’t go home now.” You said, dragging the older man into your conversation. He opened his mouth to speak, but Hoseok held up a finger to stop him.

“Can I borrow her for a bit, Joonie?” He asked with a charming smile. Namjoon looked at you for a second before nodding and taking a step back. Well, as much of a step as he could with the crowd of people you were in the middle of.

Hoseok grabbed you by your arm with the firm but gentle grip that you’d learned meant he meant business. You followed his lead, weaving out of the crowd into the open space along the wall. It wasn’t as stuffy in the open air of the room, and the music didn’t seem to pound as hard, but it sucked the adrenaline you were riding on with it, bringing instead a sleepiness that you weren’t fond of. Maybe it really was later than you realized.

“I was having fun. Party pooper.” You pouted. He pouted back.

“You wouldn’t be having a whole lot of fun if your arch nemesis decided to cause a scene. He’s been glaring at Namjoon like he wants to kill him for the past half hour.” He pointed out. You didn’t even process how quickly your eyes flickered around the room for Jimin, and you deflated when you didn’t find him.

“Seriously, Hobi, I’m fine, I just want–” You paused, swallowing and then turning to look at him. “Actually I’m gonna throw up. But then I’m gonna go have fun.”

He didn’t get a chance to speak before you were bolting through the crowd, and he was following after you as best he could. However he could only go as far as the restroom door.

Alcohol, you decided, was much nicer going down than it was coming up. And even then, it wasn’t great. You heard Hobi’s voice from the door, calling in to check up on you. And eventually you managed to haul yourself off the floor and rinse your mouth before going back out to meet him. Your stomach was churning uneasily, and your skin was a little sticky with sweat, but you were determined that this was not going to ruin your night.

“I’m fine, oppa, I just wanna go dance.” You begged as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You would have fought harder if you’d had it in you. But fighting was just wasting your energy, and the tiredness was getting harder to ignore.

“There’ll be other parties. You’re going home. And you’re gonna call me to thank me in the morning.” He said. You were still arguing as he herded you towards a wall you could lean on while he grabbed both of your jackets.

“Hey, is she okay?” A voice asked, and you looked up so fast that it made you dizzy. Jimin. He was standing beside you, looking more concerned than you’d ever seen, and it made you giggle.

“Yeah, she’s just really drunk. And we both know she doesn’t hold her liquor well.” Hoseok explained, moving to wrap your jacket around you. As you stood up away from the wall, your body began to topple forward a bit, and Jimin grabbed at your waist to steady you. You looked at him, eyes wide as you realized the proximity between the two of you.

“Right. I can take her home. If you want. She’s closer to mine than yours. And there were some people who wanted to talk to you inside.” Jimin told Hoseok, still holding you up. His grip wasn’t particularly tight, but it nearly felt possessive. And there was something in the shared gaze of the two men that you missed, a desperation on both ends. Jimin clearly wanted to help, and Hoseok knew that even if you hated him for it, you needed the opportunity to talk.

“You have my number. Text me when you get her in, call if you need anything.” Hoseok told him, slowly letting go of you just to lean down to your level. “Behave yourself, don’t give the kid too much trouble.”

You nodded. You could smell Jimin’s cologne, it was the one you’d gotten him for his birthday during filming. Did he wear it with the intention of you noticing? Did he even remember that you’d gotten it for him? You leaned into his chest, your eyes closing for a minute. You exhaled slowly.

“Come on, let’s get you into a car and back to your house.” He said. His voice was soft, and it made you smile dreamily. He cared. Somebody properly cared.

“Okay.”

Getting you out of his car and into your house was one of the most difficult tasks that Jimin had ever been faced with, but he was patient with you as you giggled and hung on him, settling you down on the edge of your bed and leaving you alone to get you a glass of water.

He’d only been in your home a couple of times before, but despite its size and the overabundance of name brand furnishings, it was pretty easy to find his way around. He returned to your room to find you clumsily climbing back into bed, having managed to wiggle out of your dress and into a t-shirt. He sat the glass down on your bedside stand.

“Hey, before you sleep, let me help you take your makeup off.” He said, pointing at you and waiting for you to nod so he’d at least know you’d heard him. He nodded back, heading for the bathroom attached to your room and trying not to find anything he shouldn’t as he dug through your drawers. Finally though he came out with a package of makeup remover wipes, sitting at the edge of your bed. By the time he came back, you’d already gulped down most of the water.

You blinked up at him as he leaned forward, his finger tucking under your chin to guide your face. You closed your eyes as the proximity began making you feel a bit sick to your stomach. You really didn’t feel like throwing up again.

Jimin was careful as he diligently wiped off every trace of makeup you had on your face. He’d seen you bare faced before, but this was different. Seeing you without makeup, in your pajamas, and curled up in the safety of your own bed was too intimate. Especially when you were drunk and probably would have told him to get out had you not been.

He watched as you grabbed the stuffed dinosaur that sat on your pillow, huddling it to your chest and curling up beneath your blanket. He reached out, smoothing the fabric up around you nicely. You smiled at him, and he had to swallow around the lump in his throat.

“Are you comfortable?” He asked you, carefully removing the hair pins that he could see with you laid down, setting them in a pile on your stand. You nodded.

“Mhm, ‘m so comfy.” Your voice was slurring, but you sounded happy at least, and he liked that.

“Alright. I’m gonna catch the light. You can call my phone if you need me.” He smiled affectionately as he flicked the light off. You made a soft noise at the change, rolling over to look at him.

“Jimin,” You called. He stopped in the doorway to look at you. “Will you stay with me?”

His lips parted like he was about to speak, but your desperate look was enough to shut him up. He nodded, padding his way over to your bed and sitting at the edge. You reached out, whining until he scooched close enough for you to touch him.

It was quiet for a while as he sat leaned against the headboard, your hand holding one of his arms in the dark. What was there to say anyway? He was just happy that you were making an attempt at resting, and you were happy that you were finally getting the opportunity to be close to him. A dream come true.

After a few minutes, Jimin was convinced you were asleep, your eyes had closed and your grip on his arm had loosened, but when he tried to move, you grasped at his shirt again, eyes opening to look at him like a kicked puppy.

“It’s really late, I should be going home.” He said softly. You looked away, slowly letting go of his shirt.

“You said you’d stay.”

“You’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re doing right now. It wouldn’t be right of me to take advantage of that. I’ve been selfish enough with you.”

“I’m drunk, not stupid.” You huffed, curling up tighter on yourself. “You make me so angry, do you know that?”

Jimin chuckled.

“Everyone knows that, sweetheart. You don’t exactly try to hide it.” He said. You smiled. Yeah, you didn’t try to hide it, but he wasn’t understanding what you were trying to say.

“You don’t get it. You are so kind, and so talented, but you’re so insecure about it and it makes me angry. Then you take it out on me. Do you know that? You always have to criticize me.” You huffed as Jimin moved to stretch out on your bed, folding his hands behind his back. “You always criticize me and nobody else, and it makes me feel like maybe I’m the problem. Am I the problem?”

He closed his eyes.

“No, you’re not the problem. I’m the problem.”

“You’re too good to be a problem. You’re my problem. You make my head all stupid and I can’t focus when you’re around.”

“I’m sorry.”

You couldn’t tell if he was being serious. You didn’t really care at the moment.

“I like you so much and I shouldn’t. That’s not fair to me. I can’t like you when that’s exactly what everyone expects of me. I’m only popular because of you, did you know that too?”

He had heard, though it was impossible for him to actually believe. Not when you were talented and stunning and so ambitious it physically hurt. No, you paved your own way, he was grateful to even be associated with you at all. But you didn’t see it that way, he knew that. But other people didn’t know you, and you were never very good at giving yourself proper credit.

“That’s not true.” He told you.

“But everyone else thinks it’s true. So isn’t it true? That’s how that works, Jimin. If enough people believe it, then it doesn’t matter what is actually true. And everyone believes that I’m only where I am because of you. So I am. I don’t even know what it means to not be in your shadow. For as long as I can remember it’s been Jimin and his leading lady. It’s never been just me. I don’t know what it means to just be me.”

You squeezed your eyes shut. You didn’t mean to think about that, it made your chest feel hollow.

“I hate all of it. I hate that I can’t stop thinking about you, and that I want to impress you so badly, and I hate that I know I’m in love with you.”

Jimin stopped, his breath catching in his throat. Love. You love him, and you were hurting, and he was helpless in fixing it. You didn’t want him to fix it, and somehow that was the part that made him smile. He knew you’d rather fight your own battles, he’d always admired you for that.

“I think you should sleep now, it’s late.” He said. You nodded, stifling a yawn and scooting closer until you were pressing against his arm.

“You’ll stay?” You asked.

“You’ll be angry with me in the morning.” He said. That was just a fact, he knew that whether you remembered tonight or not, you’d be feeling a lot of things all at once in the morning. You didn’t answer, already sound asleep. He sighed, closing his own eyes. The morning’s arguments were best left for the morning. You clearly needed rest more than anything, and he wasn’t going to leave your side if you wanted him there.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” He whispered, not wanting to disturb your sleep. “I’ll try to make it up to you.”

The morning came with a terrible hangover, which was to be expected. It was early afternoon before you woke up, burying yourself in your blankets to hide from the midday sunshine filtering through your window. You didn’t really remember a whole lot of the night before, let alone how you’d gotten home. Hopefully you’d managed to not make a complete fool of yourself, but there weren’t many things you’d put past your drunk self.

You stayed hidden away under your blankets for some time before finally poking your head out and finding your phone. Your head was throbbing, but hiding wasn’t going to make that go away. There was a glass of water and a couple painkillers on the bedside stand, and you smiled a bit. Hoseok, you figured. He was usually the one to take care of you when you were intoxicated – not that this happened all the time. You took the pills, downing the whole glass of water in one go.

There were about a hundred notifications on your phone, most of them from your various social media, pictures and videos from the after party and the premiere. And a voicemail from Seokjin that you had every intention of ignoring for the day. There were also a few from Hoseok checking in on you and scolding you for drinking so much when you knew you couldn’t hold your liquor. But the one that caught your eye was a single one from Jimin.

I let myself out this morning, you seemed pretty well out. Sorry for intruding last night, let me know you’re okay when you wake up.

You stared at the words on the screen, trying to make sense of them. There was a brief memory from the night before, dancing with Namjoon while Jimin watched, preening at the fact that you’d managed to make him jealous. Then another; waking in the middle of the night to Jimin’s arms wrapped around you, your head on his chest. You swallowed. Had you gone home with him? Had things taken a turn for the worse?

You did the obvious and called Hoseok before you even read all of his texts. He picked up, sounding much more chipper than you were at the time.

“Did I go home with Park Jimin?” You asked quickly before he was finished with his hello.

“You know, you sure interrupt a lot for someone who is calling me on my only day off this week.” He scolded, and you could hear his smile. You rolled your eyes even though he couldn’t see you.

“Hoseok, please.” You said. You couldn’t hear him, but you imagined he was frozen in place given the long silence that followed your begging. He wasn’t accustomed to hearing you say please, not to him anyways. You’d both dropped that pretty soon into your friendship.

“He drove you home, you were really drunk.” He told you after a minute. You nodded. You weren’t wearing the same clothes as the night before, those had been discarded on your floor. You didn’t remember changing, and your stomach dropped at the idea that you and Jimin may have…

“I gotta go. Thank you.” You said, barely catching him asking you to wait as you hung up. You felt sick, partly from the anxiety, and partly from the hangover you were suffering from. You stared down at your phone.

You didn’t talk to anyone else for a while, just trying to wrap your head around whatever had happened the night before. You knew drinking so much was going to be a terrible idea, but you weren’t always the best with self control when you were as stressed as you had been. You considered texting Jimin, but you never did, too afraid to interact with him now that you were sober.

Whatever you’d been feeling for him was pointless, and you didn’t see any reason to embarrass yourself more by pushing the point. And maybe he had just harmlessly brought you home, you wouldn’t put it past him because even when he was tearing you to shreds, Jimin was so entirely good. He wouldn’t do anything you hadn’t wanted him to. Which was the reason you were worried actually, there were so many things you wanted Jimin to do. And sometimes people regret their actions in the morning light.

Later in the evening when you had finished eating your dinner and were forcing yourself to think about anything other than the empty space in your memory where the previous night should be, you listened to Seokjin’s voicemail. He’d been contacted about getting you on a new movie. And so soon after your last premiere. You texted him back. No promises, but you’d hear it out.

You should have known. You stared at the paperwork that had been passed to you and Seokjin. Mostly so you wouldn’t have to look at Jimin who was sitting on the other side of the long table you were sitting at with his own agents.

The role was one you could easily pass on, but the pay would be nice, and it was different from what you were used to. You wouldn’t be playing directly opposite Jimin. All in all, from your own experiences, it was a good deal. But there were still reservations in your mind, a nervousness that you couldn’t shake.

“I don’t think I’m right for this role. I’m planning on taking some time off anyway after my last big project, but I think you can find someone better for this.” He said after a few moments of quiet. The entire table looked at him in disbelief then. It wasn’t the first time Jimin had ever turned down a role, but it was certainly a surprise for him to turn down one that could be big for him.

“Jimin,” You said. He looked over at you, and your heart leapt into your throat at the look in his eye. You’d never seen this side of him before, the vulnerable part that he tried so hard to hide. “You should think this through.”

“I have. I’m sorry, but I can’t accept this role.” He stood, bowing his head politely towards the table, then turned to leave with his manager and agents hot on his heels. You stood quickly, shooting Seokjin an apologetic look, but he waved you off. You followed Jimin’s lead, apologizing quickly to everyone and heading for the door.

“Jimin, wait. Can we talk?” You called. He was stopped at the elevator down the hall, turning to look up when you spoke. “Get coffee with me? There’s a cafeteria downstairs.”

He nodded, turning to speak to his team before letting them step into the waiting elevator, leaving just you and Jimin in the hall. You felt small in such an open space, about to be open with him about your emotions. Not your favorite thing to do anyway, actually.

The walk to the cafeteria was silent between the two of you, neither one of you ready to broach the subject until you were sitting down and had something to sip at. You were actually sort of grateful for the couple of minutes to gather your thoughts in a somewhat coherent manner.

“You can find a seat, I’ll get drinks.” Jimin said as you both entered the room. You smiled a little bit just at the sound of his voice. He sounded more relaxed now than he had been in the meeting room. That eased your nerves a little bit, or maybe it was just being close to him that made your mind quiet down.

“Right. Thank you.” You found a table in the corner with a decent view out one of the windows. It wasn’t important to have a nice view necessarily, but the flowers blooming in the small courtyard beneath a stunning blue sky would make a good distraction from the uncomfortable conversation you were going to be having soon.

You watched out the window at the birds swooping through the sky, tapping your fingertips against the table. You wondered what flying felt like; being able to go, and do, and be without worrying about anything tying you down. You hadn’t had a taste of actual freedom in so long, and you wondered if you’d give up your career for it.

You looked up as Jimin pulled out his own seat, placing your coffee in front of you. You thanked him, bringing it up to take a sip and humming. Just the way you liked it.

“You wanted to talk.” Jimin said, half questioning and half reminding you. You nodded a tiny bit, training your eyes on the outside. If there was a choice between opening up like this to Jimin and death by 1,000 cuts, you’d take the cuts. Unfortunately for you, there wasn’t such a choice.

“You should take the role if you want it.” You said. That wasn’t all you wanted to say, but it seemed the most important at present. Jimin shifted in his seat, mulling over his words.

“It’ll be better if you take yours. And I figure…I mean, you wanted space from me. You don’t want it to seem like you’re relying on me to get ahead. So I’ll stay out of your way.” He said. You scoffed.

“I don’t need you to forfeit your roles for me.” You told him.

“It’s not my role until I accept it. And I didn’t accept it.”

“Stop arguing over wording. You know exactly what I’m saying.” You shook your head. “No, I’m not accepting the role. I didn’t want to anyway. I’m taking a break.”

“A break?”

You nodded, tracing your fingertips along the side of your cup.

“Yeah. Maybe I’ll give something else a try.” You laughed a little. “I’m not even sure what I like outside of acting. Maybe I’ll become a photographer. I used to want to be one when I was little. Before we met.”

“If this is about the whole ‘I don’t know who I am in your shadow’ thing that you said after the party, I’ll stay out of your way. Don’t quit your dream because of me.” He said, leaning forward. There was still a table’s distance between you, but having him press that little bit closer had you swallowing hard. Had you said that? That you were in his shadow, that you didn’t know who you were? It wasn’t a lie.

“That’s not…I don’t want you out of the way, okay? I don’t know what I said that night, or what you think I want, but I don’t want you to leave.” You told him firmly, meeting his eye almost desperately. After all of this, the last thing you wanted was Jimin gone.

“I don’t want to discredit you just by existing with you. And I don’t want you to think that I do.” He said, pushing away his untouched coffee like the thought of drinking it was entirely disgusting.

“I don’t think that, Jimin. I don’t think I ever really did, but I didn’t know who else to blame. It’s easier acting like you were the bad guy. At least then I had someone to take everything out on, and I think I was jealous. I was sick of everyone putting you on a pedestal and treating me like I wasn’t even good enough to be seen in the same films as you.” You rambled before stopping in taking a deep breath. “It was immature, I’m sorry. But I know you don’t mean anything bad.”

Jimin took a moment, watching as you rambled on about your own insecurities. He’d never realized you’d hated him so much, maybe because he was blinded by his own admiration for you. And now you looked so broken as you sat across from him, brimming with nerves and frustration at your own thoughts. He laughed.

“You didn’t ever change, did you know that?” He asked. You paused where you were in the middle of bringing your drink to your mouth again. “You still ramble on when you get nervous, and you get angry when you’re insecure. Just like when we first met.”

You glared at him, biting your tongue to keep from snapping at his unnecessary observation. No need to prove his point by getting an attitude.

“I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. I had just given up on you seeing me as anything more than a rival.” He looked positively giddy, and you were struggling to wrap your mind around what he was hinting at.

“Jimin, I…I don’t know what to say to that.” You admitted.

“Say you’ll go on a date with me. I know you love me, you’ve told me so. And you clearly respect me. And you know I would do anything to help you chase your dreams. As an actor or as a photographer. You could clean animal stables if you wanted and I’d still do anything to support you.” His confession was catching you entirely off guard. You hadn’t come here to confess to him, not exactly, but your heart was beating out of your chest. “Tell me what you want from me and I’ll do it.”

“I want you to do what you want.” You said after another few beats of silence.

“I want to be with you. No matter what the media, or fans, or anyone else has to say about it. At least try it out.” He said, reaching out to touch your hand. He brushed his fingertips along the back of your hand before intertwining your fingers.

“Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’ve never been this sure of anything in my life.”

You couldn’t stifle your smile anymore, a swarm of butterflies erupting in your stomach and tickling a giggle out of you.

“I’m still not taking that role. I don’t need people thinking I get all my roles because you’re in love with me.”

Jimin laughed, and you swore you’d never heard a sound so pretty in your entire life. You smiled.

“I don’t care what roles you take, I just care that you’re happy.” He promised. And for the first time since you’d met him years before, you actually believed every single word, no hesitations. He wanted you happy, and you wanted him even happier yet.

#clownracha monthly #park jimin x reader #park jimin fanfic #park jimin fanfiction #park jimin imagine #park jimin #jimin x reader #jimin imagine #jimin fanfic #jimin fanfiction #jimin #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts #bts angst #bts enemies to lovers #imagine #fanfic #x reader #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #fanfiction #kpop x reader #bangtan sonyeondan #wooyussy.recs

[ferrethyun]

When The Moon Met The Earth

Pairing: Moon witch!Lee Minho x Male!Moon God!Reader

Genre: Acquaintances to lovers?, Hurt not really much comfort (Absolute minimal comfort), Angst and some fluff

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: Supernatural elements, minor slowburn but its 5k so its not that slow, angst oml, minho is a cry baby at the end, swearing at the end, Moon witch! Minho, Elemental witch! Chan, Eclectic witch! Changbin, Divination witch! Hyunjin, Healer! Jisung, Hedge witch! Felix, Witch! Seungmin, Shifter! Jeongin, Moon god! reader, Seungmin has a bit of a breakdown and thinks hes a failure, magical violence with consequences? (It was unintentional violence), hurt and basically no comfort whoops Please let me know if I missed any warnings!!

Notes: This was part of Clownrachas monthly prompts from october! (Very delayed i know) enjoy and if you have feed back id love to hear it!!

Tag list: @snow-pegasus, @wooyussy, @brownieracha

Having the god of the moon in your home was an odd experience and not one many would experience. Minho was sure of that at least. What he wasn’t sure about was how he felt having you watch his every single move. He hadn’t meant to summon you that night; what was supposed to be a simple blessing and offering ritual turned into having the physical manifestation of the moon watching him as he worked his way around the kitchen, spoons stirring pots on their own and herbs flying across the kitchen as Minho used his magic to bring them over. “You have a lovely home, Minho” You mused as you wandered around, opening cupboards and taking a peek as you saw fit.

“Don’t touch anything, please” Minho replied, voice echoing in the cabinet that he was rifling through, “Felix will have my head if his ingredients are even an inch out of place.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t touch a thing” Your eyes shimmering as they followed him, marvelling at the iridescent fabric of the skirt he wore as it flowed behind him, “It’s been so long since I’ve been down here. I’m simply a little curious.”

Minho's actions stilled “How long is ‘so long’?” He asked.

“Give or take a few millennia.” You hummed out, taking a seat on one of the bar stools next to the kitchen island. The kitchen fell into silence, the only noises coming from the stove as a pot bubbled away and the kettle next to it began to whistle. Clattering of cups caught your attention, eyes back on Minho as he placed two cups down on the counter and spooned in a few herbs.

“What are you making?” You asked, head tilted with curiosity as you tried to look around the witch.

“Chamomile tea,” Minho responded in a mumble, concentrating on making the two drinks, “It’s good for nerves.”

“But I’m not nervous?” Came your reply, confusion twitching in your brow.

“Never said you were. Besides, I’d imagine a simple herbal tea wouldn’t have much of an effect on a god” Minho sighed, placing one of the cups in front of you.

“You need not be nervous around me, dear starlight,” A soft smile blessing your features as you inhaled the sweet yet fresh scent of the tea, “You’ve been a devoted follower all these years, just like the rest of your family. Do you remember when you were younger?”

His nose scrunched, Minho couldn’t remember much of his childhood; an unfortunate mishap with a memory spell that he had tried when he was seventeen caused most of his childhood memories to disappear. The only things he could remember were important events and his family “I can’t say that I do.”

He watched as you took a sip of your tea and chuckled into the cup, the sound like gentle wind chimes in his ears “I remember the day you did that memory spell. Very unfortunate mispronunciation was your downfall with that spell, by the way-” Looking into the eyes of the other, mischief danced behind your own, “-When you were seven, your family were preparing to do a full moon ritual, you professed your love for me.”

Minho couldn’t help the scoff that tumbled from his lips “Absolutely not.”

“It's true, you know?” You grinned, “You looked up at me with such awe, turned to your family and started rambling about how much you loved me and that one day you were going to marry me. Of course, I understand at that age what childish words mean and that you only thought of me as ‘the moon’. You’ve been so devout all these years, dear starlight. I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to finally come and see you in person.”

“Please, don’t call me that.” Minho frowned the cup in his hand suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the world.

“As you wish,” He could hear the way your smile dropped, “I want to get to know you better, Minho. I only have until the full moon till I have to go back; please, at least grant me one wish.”

The words from your mouth shocked Minho. A god asking for a wish? How absurd “What is it?”

“Let me get to know you as more than just one of my followers,” You replied softly, “Let me get to know you as Minho. As one of your coven. I want to know you.”

The following quiet days allowed you time to meet the other members of Minho's coven; what was unusual about the coven is that there seemed to not be one true leader. Instead, the coven was made up of witches from various paths of practice. First, there was Christopher, or Chan as he asked to be called, an elemental witch with a particular affinity for fire magic. Then there was Changbin, who identified himself as an eclectic witch, choosing to incorporate his magic into more mundane tasks such as working out or in his music instead of focusing solely on spells or rituals.

One evening you met Hyunjin and Felix. The two had faces that could not be easily forgotten, their high cheekbones and sharp eyes reminiscent of pixies. Having come from the same village growing up, the two knew each other very well. Hyunjin explained that while his magic was mostly utilised in divination, he would also consider himself a hedge witch much like Felix was.

As you spoke to the two, the feeling of something curling around your ankle startled you. Taking a few steps back, you looked down to meet wide black pupils and a mass of orange fur “Soonie!” Felix called out, crouching down to stroke at the cat's head. As he stroked the feline, two more cats came strolling past. You couldn’t help but wonder whose they were and where they had been the past few days; given that you hadn’t left the house at all, it was surprising you hadn’t seen them at all.

“That’s Soonie, Doongie and Dori,” Hyunjin explained, coming to stand at your side, “They’re all Minho’s but only Doongie and Dori are pets. Soonie is his familiar.”

Soonie turned away from Felix as you crouched down, padding over and sniffing at your stretched-out hand with curiosity. After a couple of seconds, the cat nuzzled its head into your hand, letting out loud purrs that rumbled through the living room. However, the moment of peace was short-lived as someone came barreling into the room, tripping on the rug and falling face-first to the ground with a loud groan causing the three felines to scatter in different directions “Oh stars! Are you okay?” You gasped out, a mortified look washing over your features.

The figure on the floor simply responded with a thumbs up in your general direction before letting his hand hit the floor limply “I think I’m just gonna lay here and die now, thanks.” They groaned out into the rug, voice muffled by the fibres.

“Please don’t. No one wants to clean up your dead body today.” Hyunjin deadpanned with crossed arms.

“That’s Jisungie. He’s our healer.” Felix explained, meeting your eyes with a grin. You could swear that his freckles sparkled under the sunlight for a split second “He’s been away on a trip that’s why you haven’t met him yet.”

“Trust me, with how loud he is, you’ll never not know where he is at any given moment,” Hyunjin spoke up, you could see his eyes roll from where he now sat on the sofa.

“Han Jisung, if you do not pick yourself up from that floor right now. So help me, gods, I will come in there!” An all too familiar tingle ran up your arms and down your spine at the yelling of Minho. Even though he had referenced multiple gods, he only ever honoured you in his practice; the link that this had created over time made you all too aware of whenever he called upon a god.

“We don’t need any more god's help if we already have one with us though.” A new voice chirped from the doorway. Looking up, you saw that it was Jeongin. You had met him the same day that you had asked to get to know Minho better. Granted, it wasn't a normal introduction, especially when a fox suddenly jumps up in your lap and then jumps back down with a squeak after finally looking up at who he had jumped on. That’s how you learnt that Jeongin was not a witch but instead a shifter, welcomed into the coven just as equally as the rest were despite not being of the same magical affinity.

Just over Jeongins shoulder, you could make out the face of the last member of the coven, Seungmin. Despite most witches his age having come to find their speciality, he had not. His magic was abundant, to the point anyone could feel it radiating off his body in waves, but it seemed to never get used outside of helping his fellow coven members with simple spells and rituals. Despite his neutral face whenever asked about his magic speciality, it was easy to tell that it was becoming harder and harder to talk about; the frustration mixing into his aura daily slowly beginning to unsettle your brain. This had already planted seeds of ideas into your brain, all you needed to do was find a way to initiate the plan that began to formulate “Seungmin,” Your words silencing the hubbub of the room, “Can I talk to you? Alone possibly?”

“Me?” Seungmins' features scrunched as he pointed to himself. You nodded in response and headed in the direction of the kitchen,

Seungmin almost tripping over his feet as he hurried to follow. Seungmin couldn’t help the way his hands gripped together and twisted in anxiety as he stood in front of you; the silence in the room was thick and suffocating “Seungmin, it is to my understanding that you don’t have a particular path of magic that you follow, right?” You began, watching as the other's head dipped in what seemed like shame, “There’s nothing wrong with not knowing your path at this age. I’ve known many followers of mine to only discover their path later in life. Most come to their powers naturally but I can feel the distress that this situation causes you. I want to help you.”

The young witch's head shot up in shock, his hands stilling their anxious actions “Help me?” His voice was quiet.

“Yes. Your magical energy is abundant and waiting to find its release and I’m hoping that, with my own powers and influence, I can help you.” You hummed in response, hand coming up with a delicate twirl. Seungmin watched in awe as white mist formed around it before shooting off around the room then dashing up to hit the ceiling; his jaw-dropping further as a starry scene took over the top of the room, the temperature dropping slightly.

“I- I don-” He started.

“Absolutely not.” A voice cut in from the doorway. You watched with a neutral expression as Minho stormed past his coven mate and into your personal space, anger flaring behind his eyes “You of all people should know that a witch's path is their own to find!”

“Minho, do you not understand the distress this causes Seungmin?” You quizzed, watching as the youngers head dipped again to avoid Minho's gaze, “I only want to help him, I’m not here to interfere with the path that he begins on.”

Minho could only let out a low sigh, he hadn’t realised that Seungmin would feel so upset about not having a path. He prided himself on being able to take care of all of his coven members but he had failed to miss this one small detail. How? “Fine,” He eventually murmured, “But I have to be there for anything you try. I don’t want him to go through this alone.”

The next day came the first attempt at trying to find Seungmin's path. You, Seungmin, Minho and Felix had gone out earlier in the day to collect some herbs and other medicinal plants, planning to create various concoctions and baked goods with what had been harvested; it was certainly interesting to watch the way Felix interacted with the nature that surrounded the covens home. The witch would take his time harvesting, leaving offerings and thanks after asking the earth permission to harvest its abundant goods. The forest seemed to sway with gentle winds and life as he laughed at a joke that Seungmin made, the rays that escaped through the canopy making the hedge witch's skin glow. With the way he interacted with nature and it responded, you could tell that mother nature favoured him and offered him her support wherever he went.

Eventually, as the sun began to burn in the afternoon hours, the kitchen filled with life. The counters were covered with various herbs and the smell of yeast began to fill the air as Felix and Seungmin focused on making dough, the two taking turns kneading when the other got tired “Hmmmm, I think it needs more flour?” Seungmin pondered, lifting his dough-clad hands from the bowl.

Felix looked into the bowl and then to Seugmins hands and let out a small huffed laugh “I think so too” He grinned, “Hey, Min? Could you grab the flour? My hands are kinda sticky so I don’t wanna get it all over the cupboard”

Minho ventured in the direction of the cupboard he knew was Felixes, rummaging through the plentiful ingredients as he tried to find the sack of flour “Felix, how many ingredients do you need in one cupboard?” Minho grunted out, his voice lilted with a teasing tone.

“Hey! You can never-” Felix cut himself off with a yelp, “Seungmin!” Minho closed the cupboard door and turned to find the two younger witches wrestling each other, Felixs’ cheeks covered in sticky dough and Seungmin grinning like a fool as he tried to get more over his coven mate's face.

“You two are unbelievable,” Minho sighed, placing the flour on the kitchen island in front of the two bickering males, “This bread will never be made if you keep it like this.” This caused the two to split with shy grins on their faces, though Seungmins held a more gloating look as he preened at his win. Minho's eyes flitted to your form, your shoulders shook gently as you tried to hide your laughter behind your hands.

“Come here Felix, let’s clean you up.” Your voice was warm as you made your way towards him with a cloth in hand. Minho watched as you wiped at the youngers cheek with a gentle touch, his eyes softening when he saw the gentle gaze your eyes held “There, all clean!” You grinned, ruffling at Felixs’ hair. Minho didn’t miss the way that Felix's head tilted into your touch, his heart warming at the sight of the interaction.

“Uhm… Moon?” Seungmin said, “You have flour on your nose.” Your face contorted in surprise, nose scrunching and wiggling as if you were trying to get it off. Felix and Seungmin couldn’t help the boisterous laughter that left them as they watched you go cross-eyed trying to look at the offending flour. Minho let out a soft huff before making his way around the island and towards you, thumbing the flour off your nose when you turned to him.

“There, it's gone,” Minho said, grinning at the surprise in your eyes, “Now, can we get back to the bread? We’re supposed to be helping Seungmin see if he’s a hedge witch you know?”

“Oh yeah! The flour, could you pass it over here, Moon?” Felix asked, grin never leaving his cheeks as he watched you move the flour across the counter. The baking continued with a warm hum, the kitchen buzzing with Felix’s magic; soon enough, the bread made its way into the oven and the kitchen was in the process of being cleaned.

“Hey, Moon?” Felix called out across the room

“Hm? Yes?”

“Do you have a name? It feels weird to just call you moon even though you are the moon, you know?”

“I haven’t had a name in a while…” You pondered in response, “How about you pick one for me?” Felix let out a noise at this, muttering to himself as he thought through all of the options his brain could create.

The room sat in silence for what felt like hours before someone spoke up “What about Y/n?” Minho’s voice was small as if he didn’t want to be heard.

You paused, eyes studying the moon witches form with a tender look “Y/n…” You tested, “I like it. Thank you, Minho.”

When the first attempt at finding Seungmins path came up fruitless, you moved to Hyunjin. Divination was a common aspect of many witches' paths but some, like Hyunjin, excelled in it. That's how you found yourself in a small room that was tucked away in the back of the coven's home; the room had no windows and relied on candlelight to light the space. The hardwood floor was covered with various rugs, cushions and blankets. In the centre of the room was a round low table, atop it sat a teapot and four cups with loose-leaf tea in them. “You know, when you said we’d be reading tea today, I imagined it would be Seungmin only.” Minho huffed as he took a seat next to the table.

“Just because my tarot cards told you the truth that you didn’t want to hear that one time, doesn’t mean you can be grumpy every time it comes to divination,” Hyunjin quipped while rolling his eyes “Besides, I think it will be fun to see what happens since it's been a while since I’ve done this with any of the coven.”

“I think this will be rather interesting.” You spoke up watching as Seungmin nodded in agreement.

Hyunjin grinned “You’re outnumbered Mr.grumpy gills. Now, let's read!” Hyunjin took his time explaining the steps that would occur as he poured out the hot water into the cups, taking his time to pour with intention. The four of you conversed as the tea steeped, Hyunjin eagerly recalling the story of Minhos tarot reading when you asked about it. Soon enough, the tea had steeped long enough and Hyunjin explained the steps once more, making sure to watch over the other two witches and make sure that everything was done correctly. Once the teacups had been flipped back over, Hyunjin peered into each of the cups, murmuring softly to himself but his face never budging from a neutral expression “Okay, Seungminnie we’ll start with you,” Hyunjin spoke up, clasping his hands together gently,

“What symbols can you see in your cup?”

The younger witches brow furrowed as he glanced into his cup, squinting at the leaves “I mean, not much?” His lips pursed in a thin line, “This one at the bottom kinda looks like a star? But other than that, none of this makes sense to me. I can’t even feel a stir in my magic right now”

Hyunjin hummed in response “That’s alright, divination may not be your path but the leaves still tell me a lot,” Hyunjin grabbed the youngers up and began explaining what he saw “You were right about the star at the bottom and at the top here you can see an axe. Things are looking good for you, Seungie”

“That’s amazing,” A smile took over your face, your voice calling attention to you, “You really are an amazing witch Hyunjin. Do you think you can see anything in my cup?” Hyunjin grinned at your praise, pink dusting his cheeks as he reached over and took your cup. The room was silent for a moment, breaths held as you all watched his brow furrow and how his eyes darted around the ceramic “Is everything alright?”

Hyunjins head snapped up as if he had been pulled from a trance “Y-yeah! Everythings fine, it’s perfect even,” he stuttered, “Your leaves are all at the top of the cup, which confused me a little but there’s nothing bad at least” You could feel the soar in the witches magic, a grimace taking place on your face for a fleeting moment before you smiled once more.

“I’m glad to hear that” You spoke softly, taking the cup out of Hyunjins shaking hands. Hyunjin could feel the warm pulse of your magic flow from his hands and wash over his shoulders, you had to know what was in that cup, there’s no way you didn’t. The witches eyes locked with yours, a small pleading look behind his own eyes as he glanced over at Minho and Seungmin and then back to you; your own eyes held a gentle sorrow as you subtly shook your head at him. He let out a soft sigh as he pulled his hands back, now reaching for the moon witches cup.

“Before you start, I don’t want to know what anything in that cup means” Minho grumbled, his eyes darting to your form, not missing the interaction that you had just had with Hyunjin, “Just read it and tell me what you see.” It wasn’t that Minho didn’t want to know, in fact, he already knew what his cup meant; he’d rather not acknowledge the truth that the leaves held for him.

“Well, I can see a few things.” Hyunjin started, “A broken wheel, an umbrella, rain and a question mark to name a few. Jeez…”

“Maybe it’s best if we stop?” Seungmin cut in, voice strained, feeling the rising tension in the room.

Murmur's agreement filled the room “There’s still some bread and other bakes from the other day, maybe we should have some?” You suggested, “Help take our minds off of things for now”

“This already feels like a terrible idea” Seungmins tone was nervous as he stood in front of the lit bonfire, “If I was an elemental witch, surely I would have figured that out by now?”

“Don’t be silly, Seungmin” Chan grinned as he shook his hand to put out the fire that lit the tips of his fingers, “I didn’t figure it out till I was twenty so there’s nothing out of the ordinary about it.”

“Still. I don’t think trying to control literal fire is the best way to go about this!” the younger witch exclaimed, emphasizing the words ‘literal fire’, “Maybe water would be easier to start with? or maybe even earth?”

Chan looked as if he was sulking “You and I both know that’s a terrible idea when I’m around”

“If worse come to worse, we can always seek out elemental witches outside of the coven” Your voice piped up from next to the bonfire,

“Being an elemental witch is another one that takes time due to how many elements there are”

“Hey! This’ll work, I know it!” Chan pouted.

“It’s best not to get Seungmins hopes up Chan,” Minho hissed in the elemental witches ear, “We spoke about this.”

Chan muttered a small apology before going back to the bonfire, the flames leaning towards him as if they were trying to hug the elemental witch. His hands waved over the fire, the flames turning a darker red instantly “The cooler flames are easier to control if it's your first time,” Chan began explaining, “You have to connect with it, feel the bond between the flame and your own inner flame. The fire will be attracted to your magic, let it get a sense of you first before trying to control it.”

You could see the hesitance on Seungmins face, his hands wringing together with anxiety; a habit he couldn’t seem to kick “Maybe, we should have started with a smaller flame?” You suggested, unsure of how this situation would turn out, “A bonfire is rather… much.”

“You don’t have to do this today, Seungmin,” Minho added, his voice softened by the tension.

“N-No, it’s fine! I got this” Seungmins tone was shaky at best, “It’ll be fine!”

It wasn't fine.

The moment that Seungmin had felt the flames' warmth under his hand, the flame spat ashes and embers at him; the young witch recoiling and falling to the ground with a rapidly approaching flame headed towards him. All he could do was watch in horror as he scrambled backwards.

“Chan do something!” Minho yelled out, panic racking through his bones as he ran towards Seungmin, “Fucking do something, you dunce!”

“I’m trying!” Chan grunted back, eyes aflame, “It’s outside of the boundary I set for it. It has to be extinguished!”

“What do you think I’m trying to do, Christopher?” Minho hissed, trying to snub out the flame with his foot.

Having heard and then seen the chaos that was occurring outside, it was no surprise when Felix came running over with a bucket of water; quickly extinguishing the flame, breath heaving from how fast he had run over “Are you guys alright?”

No one responded, the air thick and reeking of tension. Your heart was racing from anxiety and shame, you could have done something and didn’t “I think-”

“This is all your fault!” Minho cut in, having appeared in front of you, “I should have never let you do this to Seungmin. He could have died!”

“Minho, you need to calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” He seethed, pushing you back with force, “I could have lost a coven mate and for what? Yet another failed attempt at finding his path?”

“Min-”

“Don’t! You of all people should know better than this! To think I was letting you in and-”

“Stop it! Just stop!” Seungmin cried out, now standing on trembling legs, “I get it- I’m the one failure in this coven because I don’t have a path!” Everyone stilled, no one moving even an inch. You watched as the young witch hugged and curled in on himself; shaking shoulders warning you of the impending tears.

“Seungmin…” You breathed out, taking a small step towards him only to be met with an arm. Minho blocking your way.

“Don’t even think about going near him” He gritted out, “You’ve done enough damage already.”

“Minho can you not see-” your words fell on deaf ears.

“Just be quiet! Both of you!” Seungmins hands were now covering his ears in an attempt to block out all of the yelling, “I swear on the moon if you two don't shut up, I’ll make you!” Everything seemed to slow at that moment; from Seungmins outburst of yelling and power to the cold feeling of magic that hit you square in the back after shifting places with Minho. Seungmin was once again on the floor, curled in on himself with black swirling masses surrounding him in a protective circle.

Minho couldn’t help the way that his jaw dropped open “W-What?” He stammered out, not attempting to move your hand that now lay on his shoulder, “Seungmin?”

You looked at the moon witch then at the younger witch on the floor and sighed “So it seems he does have a path after all” You grimaced, a shudder filling your body.

“What is it?” Minho asked, his voice now meek and shaken.

“That, starlight, is black matter-” making your way over to the black voids and holding a hand out to it “-It seems that your dear Seungmin is a cosmic witch.”

“Is it dangerous?”

“When handled correctly, it’s not” You let out a shaky laugh, “This explains why his magical energy was so abundant. In order for it to leave, he needs to calm down and settle his energy.”

The moon witch shook his head, trying to break the haze of shock that glazed over his brain “How do we do that?” His hands wringing together. Huh. So that’s where Seungmin got it from.

You pulled your hand back from the black matter, noticing the faint translucent greying at the tips of your fingers that was moving to creep up your hands. Looking down, you were greeted with a similar sight licking at your ankles “Well, it seems he got most of the energy out when he shot out his magic at us to protect himself. So, it shouldn’t be hard to do” You gave Minho a tight-lipped smile, watching as his eyes widened as they fell to look at your rapidly disappearing hand.

“W-Wait. What’s happening? What do you mean he shot at us? What’s wrong with your hand?” Minho's questions came at you rapid fire, your lack of answers doing nothing to quell his anxieties.

“Looks like I have to leave a little early, starlight” Your words were soft, so soft but swimming with sorrow.

“Leave? What- No!” The moon witch exclaimed, grimacing at the way his hands shook and the lump in his throat refused to go away “You can’t! I’ve only just-” He sucked in a breath of air “-Just started to know you. To care for you. To love you! You can’t…”

“Oh, starlight…” Your voice was soft, threatening to shake with tears

“You have to stay, please!” Tears started to flow down the moon witches face with no sign of stopping any time soon, “Please, please, please just stay…”

“Don’t worry, my dear starlight. I’ll tell the stars all about you. ”

A stuttered breath fell from Minho's tear-wet lips “You can’t go, not now. It’s not fair!” His hands grasping at the front of your shirt, the wrinkles deep with hidden pain.

“Life is not always fair.” your voice was soft. Minho let out another soft sob as he met eyes with your glistening ones, leaning his head into your faint hands as they came to cup at his cheeks. He could feel the way you wiped at his never-ending tears, your touch as gentle as the comforting words you murmured out; not that Minho could hear them, his head full of white noise and a dull thudding from trying to catch his breath.

Suddenly, he pushed forwards into your arms, head coming to the crook of your neck and arms now around your torso. Your hands stilled in the air for a moment before coming to wrap around the witch, one hand rubbing at his back and the other resting on his head. Even though they weren’t visible, you could still feel Minho's shuddering back. Looking up at the star-clad sky, you couldn’t help but sigh “It’s time for me to go, dear starlight”

“Please… No…” Minho's voice was weak now, all of his pent-up energy gone, spent on tears.

“I don’t have long my starlight, so let me say this” You breathed out, your own eyes shimmering when the moon witch lifted his head to look at you, “You’ve always been more than just a follower to me and being here has only developed my feelings towards you more. While I admit, I originally wanted them to stay solely platonic. I think we’ve both found ourselves a little deeper than we thought we would end up. Fate played her hand for us-”

“If fate was involved she’d let you stay!” Minho sobbed out, a fresh stream of tears cascading down his cheeks.

“Fate works in so many ways, starlight.” You murmured out, “Just as it was fate that you summoned me. It’s fate that I have to return early”

“Please… Don’t go.” Minho was now whimpering, “You can’t. I’m your starlight. You said it yourself”

“Yes, you are. Just as I am yours and always will be”

“My moon” Minho tested, his voice a little less shaken. His hand coming to cup at your cheek.

“Your moon” You confirmed, tilting your head into his hand. The next few minutes flew by in seconds. One minute you could feel Minho's lips on your own and then the next they were gone.

Minho could only stare into the empty space in front of him, hands grasping to a form that was no longer there.

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pairing: Ryujin x gn!afab!reader

Word count: 4.1k

Smut

a/n: only lightly edited, sorry for any mistakes you see. for january clownracha prompt, self-indulgent. smut warnings under the cut. oh highly inspired by boys like you (iykyk) and title from snowy by itzy

@wooyussy

content: semi petplay, reader is primarily called kitten/kitty but also good boy and baby, ryujin is called mommy, reader’s gentalia called hole and cunt once each, cunnilingus (f rec), light aftercare, established relationship, excessive kissing (to satisfy my oral fixation), slight possessiveness

It wasn’t a bad day at work, it was just stressful. Although, when every day is somewhat stressful, the end of the week somehow becomes the worst and best day. Full of takeout and laying on the couch with Ryujin hours later, it has certainly become the best day of the week so far. 

“Hey, babe.” You say, looking up at her from where your head is resting on her shoulder. 

She hums, not looking away from the tv but letting you know she’s still listening.

“Can we, um, can I- fuck.”

She giggles a little at your hesitant stuttering, and you jab a finger into her ribs to make her yelp and move away to playfully glare at you.

“This is how you treat your lovely girlfriend? You don’t deserve all this.” She gestures to her entire body dramatically.

Even though it is somewhat joking, you can’t help but stare. Listen, what else are you going to do when dating Shin Ryujin? 

“I know, baby. My pretty, pretty girl.” You simper, laying your head back on her shoulder. 

You can’t see it, but from many months of research, you know she is going to be silent for a few moments as a blush creeps over her ears and neck. Adorable.

“Alright, you sap. What were asking before?” She bites back, but as always you know it’s just a front. 

“Ah, right. Can we do, uh, mommy and kitty time later?” It’s so humiliating to ask, but someone has drilled communication into you at this point. How rude. 

Ryujin coos over you. One of her hands comes up to lightly scratch at your scalp, and one rests on your thigh. It’s almost an automatic reaction at this point to soothe the embarrassment she knows you had over asking this so directly from her. 

“I could never deny you this, not when you ask so sweetly either. One more episode? It’s the end of this arc, and I don’t wanna miss it.” 

Anime girlfriends, always roping you into binging the next arc with her. Though can you really complain when you like it just as much? 

25 minutes later, and you feel even more relaxed with the way Ryujin has absentmindedly had her hands all over you. The one on your inner thigh was the most distracting and caused you to lose an entire minute of dialogue. You can only hope it isn’t important, but by this point you don’t care. As soon as the screen fades to black and Ryujin stops humming along you clamber into her lap. 

“Your hands were driving me up the wall, Jin. Did you even notice you were doing it?”

She smirks, and that is how you know the hand rubbing all over your inner thigh was on purpose. An absolute vixen of a woman, so unfair.

“But that’s not what you call me, now is it, kitten? Address me properly first, and then we can move.” 

Her hand returns to it’s previous spot on your leg, and it’s awful how quickly that touch scrambles your brain. 

“I’m sorry, mommy.”

Her thumb trails even further up, and lightly moves the pants you’re almost soaking through to. You know she already knows that, the touch is just a reminder of her power over you. 

“Good boy. Kiss or go?” 

It’s always the most terrible choice she asks you to make. Both options are so tantalizing, and you just wish you can do both at once. 

“Kiss.” 

She rewards you with a quick and mumbled, “good boy”, before leaning up. 

If you are to set the pace, it will be hot and messy from the first touch. Instead, you are subject to the whims of your much more patient girlfriend. Unless you want to get punished, but tonight is not the night for that. 

Her hands burn from where she drags them up from your thighs to your waist. In the process, she pushes up the shirt you’re wearing just enough for you to notice but not enough to actually gratify you much. In contrast, your hands land on her tits and you knead them to make sure you don’t go insane for now. 

The slide of your lips together is wet, and loud in the now silent room. Every movement of clothing is heard as well as felt, and every noise you make when you separate is unavoidable. It only gets worse when she bites your lip and you open your mouth for her. Your tongue lolls out for her to suck on and play with as she chooses, and Ryujin is never hesitant to take the opportunity. 

Your hands on her breasts get a little more controlled and pointed now, as you otherwise pant and try not to grind down on her too much. Ryujin voices no opposition to your hands, and you take that permission and run with it. 

With uncoordinated fingers, you push her tight shirt up as high as it goes, gasping a little when you get your hands on all that bare skin. Her bra is still on and highly problematic, which you can only blame yourself for since you gave her no time to change when she got back after you.  Those same uncoordinated fingers have enormous difficulty trying to reach back and get her bra off, and you only manage a few clumsy tries before she pulls away, giggling at you.

“Poor clumsy kitten. You wanna touch mommy’s tits so bad, don’t you? Let me help you, honey.”

It is embarrassing that you are so eager to touch her that you can’t even get your hands to work right but you shall repeat. What else are you gonna do when dating Shin Ryujin? 

“Kiss again or go, baby?” She asks again, and now the decision is even more difficult somehow.

“Just, just one more kiss, mommy.”

Realistically, you know it won’t be just one more kiss when you say it. But her slick, red lips and the way her neck is flushed is too irresistible. 

Within seconds it feels like she’s eating you alive, and all of your senses are consumed. It’s all you can do to focus on your hands touching her as well as you can, and not the way she bites your lip and slides her lips around your tongue. 

At some point you have to pull away, gasping. “Go, let’s go.”

Her face lights up with lust as she looks at you, and watches you ungracefully get to your feet. She’s not slow to follow behind you, of course not. As much as she can pretend it doesn’t affect her as much, she comes up and squeezes your ass in her hands and urges you forward, belying her own impatience. 

You let Ryujin lock the door behind her, and kneel on the bed, waiting for her to turn to you. The exact moment she does, you watch her eyes scan up and down your obedient figure. Honestly, you do the same, but mostly focus on the way you can see her chest rise and fall as she breathes. Are they just fat, muscle, and skin like everything else? Yes. Are tits beautiful? Also yes. 

“My pretty kitty. Pants and shirt.” She speaks, just loud enough for you to hear and flush under the possessive compliment. 

In your haste to follow the order, you very nearly tip off the bed still half wearing your pants. You always find your close calls embarrassing, but Ryujin, for some reason, finds them incredibly endearing. She’s said so herself multiple times to try and make you understand. 

Right now, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is the way her expression looks likes she’s ready to eat you alive. It takes you a moment to follow her eyes, but then you realize she’s looking at the sizable wet spot that has developed on your underwear. 

“How cute. You got so wet just from some kissing and touching me? Such a sensitive, needy kitten you are. I love being able to rile you up like that.” 

“Only you, mommy. Only you can do it.” You’re not even being hyperbolic, nothing gets you turned on and able to get off like Ryujin does.

It’s gratifying the way she doesn’t speak and just lets her actions do the work. With only two steps she goes from the door to the bed and sits. She grabs two handfuls of your ass and pulls you towards her, making you yelp and then groan as she bites down on the sensitive skin of your neck. 

It’s going to leave a very visible mark and you know that’s exactly why she’s doing it. 

“Anything you want to request tonight, kitty? I’m sure you can tell I’m feeling extra giving.” 

Her hands on your waist and her lips on your neck are slowly removing your ability to speak. But you will not, cannot, miss the opportunity. 

“I wanna- shit, wanna make mommy feel good. Please.” You whimper, rhythmically kneading her chest again. 

“One request and you use it for me? What a sweet thing you are.” 

Thankfully, she doesn’t tease and make you wait like you thought she would. Instead, she shuffles back and disconnects from you, which you sure don’t whine at the loss of heat and contact, and shucks off her pants. You’ll never say it out loud, but you take pride in the wet spot on her underwear as well, another sign that she isn’t as unaffected as she attempts to seem. 

You place one hand softly on her calf, looking up at her through your eyelashes and waiting to see if she revokes permission. 

“You can touch, babe. You know what happens if you tease me on purpose.” Before you can take that approval and go, she stops you. “Repeat the light system for me first.”

You are still more than conscious enough to rattle off the system, and are pleased by the head scratches she gives in return. Without another word, you grab the waistband and pull off her underwear, watching as she somehow gracefully steps out even when half sitting. 

Ryujin spreads her legs wide and you lay between them, squishing her thighs between your fingers. With a deep breath in, you dive in, flattening your tongue against her clit and spreading her wetness over your fingers. You alternate slowly with licks and sucks on her clit, watching to see which gets the bigger and better reaction. Meanwhile, your fingers explore. With just one finger you dip into her hole, easily pushing in as you suck harshly. 

“Ah, you’re so ready to get your hands on me, kitten. Flattering how much you like my body.” 

You know she doesn’t expect a real response, not this time, so you hum and continue your gradual movements. It doesn’t take long before one finger isn’t enough, and you don’t even stop to think when she tells you to add another. Feeling how coated your fingers are when you pull them out makes you want to stop and suck on them, but that will have to wait. 

When she begins to moan is when you change your approach, and is just enough at the edge of teasing that she doesn’t count it. You’re prolonging this as long as you reasonably can. For just a moment you do have to give in and suck your dripping fingers into your mouth, and her taste fills your mouth. When you do, Ryujin watches you with dark eyes, evidently satisfied with your actions.

You lean back in, placing your thumb on her clit, and letting your tongue roam free to taste her even more. All you taste is her, all you see is her, all you smell is her, all you feel is her, all you hear is her. It’s more intense than you thought tonight would get, but if anything is effective at relieving stress, it’s this. That’s why no matter how embarrassing it gets, you continue to come back and ask. 

The sounds Ryujin lets slip are small and infrequent, for now, but so significant. Each one lights up your brain like a Christas tree and pushes you to do more, to want more. Even so, you ask. You have to ask. To hear her voice strain and hear her struggle to complete the sentence without moaning.

“Does it feel good mommy?” 

“Yes, kitten. You’re good with your mouth by now, you know that.” The way she clips off the sentence with a shaky exhale is all the motivation you need. 

So, you keep your mouth quiet other than clear sounds of enjoyment, of enjoying her. With each passing moment, the slick that enters your mouth increases in volume, and Ryujin’s sounds increase exponentially. This is why you asked, because sure you enjoy being pleasured. But being able to do this, kneel for her and please her, listen to her become unable to hold herself back, is simply a different kind of want. 

You know what makes her feel the best, so you switch back, tonguing at her clit, and easily pushing two fingers in. The instant clench around your fingers is all the sign you need. So close to her, the slick sounds coming from the contact between her pussy and your fingers is so hot. Knowing that you alone can make this happen is a dizzying power to hold. All you can do is move your fingers faster, pushing harder, and all you want is to make her cum. 

Of everything that will happen tonight, that will be the most gratifying part for you. To take your girlfriend apart under your mouth and hands, piece by piece. The look on her face will be divine. Sure, it lives in your imagination rent free, but seeing it is always better. 

Maybe, you can even convince her to go for a second round after. To lazily finger her shaking body to another orgasm as you cuddle and kiss her wherever you can. It’s not impossible, but you have no idea what she has in store for you after, so you may just knock yourself right out. 

The thought of her tearing you down to make you cum, and then putting you back together afterwards, makes you shiver. Oh, how you wish that having to talk doesn’t require you to pull away. You can feel the wetness dripping out of you, and you wish desperately to touch yourself. But Ryujin hasn’t said you can, damn it.

The vibrations from the noise of frustration is enough to break her final string of control, and she starts grinding on your face and hand in earnest. You let a third finger join in her hole, and the stretch is significant enough to be felt now, you know. 

The second hum you let out is of pure satisfaction, a purr if you want to be too on the nose about it. Watching Ryujin curl and uncurl her fingers in the sheets, needing to do something with her hands, and the way she gasps between moans trying to get enough air. It’s addicting. You’ll be the first to admit it. You could watch this same sight all day and never be tired. 

“Ah, oh shit, yeah right there. I’m gonna cum, kitty.”

Her thighs clamp around your head, and the pleasing pressure makes you squeak a little from happiness. The sound draws Ryujin’s attention to you for a moment, but you know you must look a sight between her legs and she falls back with a moan. The moment her orgasm begins is so clear, with a loud oh and her legs sealing over your ears entirely. 

Regardless, you hear her well enough, and the way she jerks her hips to use your face like a toy is electric. You refuse to let up while she rides it out, and only when she gasps out enough do you stop and pull away. The sound when you remove your fingers from her pussy is obscene and you instantly take all three in your mouth, cleaning them with your tongue. 

“Oh my god, baby. You’re so hot like that. Yeah, clean your fingers off, let mommy watch you be a good boy.”

Praise from Ryujin is always so good, since she’s slowly learned just where to hit the spot every time. When you’re done you hold out your hand for her to inspect, and she nods, gesturing for you to get up back onto her lap. 

“Mommy’s so pretty when she comes, love making you feel good.” 

The kiss she gives you is so sweet that it makes your toes curl and your fingers grip her waist. 

“Is it time to reward my good kitten?”

Well, you don’t want to seem too eager to get your brains fucked out, but you nod before you can even think about it. Ryujin laughs and you duck your head down, so she leaves a lingering kiss on your neck in apology. 

“So cute how excited you are. I shouldn’t keep such a good kitty waiting for long. Underwear off, and then lay down however you want.”

You watch her go around the room, but only for a moment before making your decision. Face in the pillow, ass up. Something about this position is different, feels different, you swear. 

You hear Ryujin approaching, and her hum of approval before she smacks your ass twice in quick succession. You pitch forward with a gasp, and she rubs her hands soothingly over the affected areas. 

“Good choice. I think you’ll need that pillow to not wake up our neighbours. Kitty always gets so loud when I fuck them.”

The embarrassment burns, but only because you know it’s true. Something about this specific dynamic always loosens your mouth, and a particularly good night like this was the first time you screamed when you came. A night you’ll never forget. The soreness and hickeys made you horny every time you felt them for nearly a week, so your nights were fully booked with desperation. 

“Ready?” She asks, and you nod, prepared to beg if you have to. 

The bed dips as she sits on her knees behind you, and you feel the tip pressing against you as she waits. Thankfully, she isn’t actually planning something evil on you and she begins to press in, her hands holding your hips steady. 

“You take this one so well, such a pretty hole stretching around it.” Fucking you gives Ryujin ample opportunity to speak, and those two combined is always terribly destructive for you. Each inch is a stretch, but you take it and sigh in relief when you feel Ryujin’s skin on yours. She leans over you and leaves a small trail of kisses down your back while you wait for your body to adjust. It doesn’t take long, since you’ve done this more times than you really want to think about.

“I’m ready. Please, fuck me good, mommy.” 

You know the grin that’s surely spread across Ryujin’s face in an instant when she hears you say that. This is the perfect chance for both of you to let out all your stress on each other, it all just works out so well. 

“Oh you know I will. You won’t know anything other than me by the time we’re done.”

The first few strokes are long and smooth, and each time you feel stretched and filled so well. As she continues, there’s a quieter sound underneath, and soon enough you realize it’s the squishing noises from how wet you are. Sure, you knew, but hearing how badly you want it is another world entirely. Initially, you assume Ryujin won’t notice, but you know that nothing can escape her.

“Can you hear how wet you are for me, baby? Such a pretty little cunt, just waiting for me.”

“Mommy, please. Can I- mm, yes. Can I touch myself, please?”

Ryujin lets her hands ghost around and over your stomach and then down your thighs. 

“Yeah. Make yourself feel good, go on.”

Your own two fingers, combined with Ryujin grinding her hips against your ass has you shivering and whining. Soon enough she picks up the pace even more than before, and you shove your face in the pillow to muffle any sounds that come out.

“Face out of the pillow for a second, babe. I wanna hear those pretty noises for a minute.” 

That requires you to spend a second processing her words and then just barely propping yourself up on your elbow so you can be stable. The urge to slap a hand over your mouth before you get too loud is strong, but instead you use it to fumble for one of Ryujin’s hands. She takes it without comment, and it only makes her thrust harder. 

Without a layer over your mouth, your sounds are so much higher and louder, but if you try to speak you just stumble and interrupt yourself. The weight of Ryujin’s hand in yours is more grounding than anything else, and you squeeze it with every thrust and with every noise that punches out of your chest. 

Your other hand is moving erratically, pausing and hardly being able to make the movements you need. You let out a disappointed whine, and Ryujin notices, prompting you to try and speak.

“Can’t do it. Oh, Ohh! I can’t do it, brain too messy.” It’s the only way you can describe it, since most of your brain currently seems to be absent or occupied.

“Oh my poor kitten. You can lay back down now. Let mommy do the work for you, it’s ok.” 

It’s all you can do to gasp out thanks to her, before you let yourself fall back down. But as soon as her hand is between your legs, you know this is the better choice. She’s played with you enough times that she knows how you like it better than you do by now, and ruthlessly uses that to her advantage. You want to thank her, to tell her how good it is, but all that comes out is a wordless, noisy mess. That’s probably good enough, at least for now.

You can feel your pleasure rising, your hips twitching and trying to move back and get more, more, more. As soon as Ryujin opens her mouth again you know you’re a goner. But between her hand and her hips it seems that’s on delay. Until it isn't, until you start begging.

It’s just a constant stream of pleas, hardly even knowing what you’re really begging for.

“Such a pretty kitten, you’re so damn perfect for me. God, and hearing you beg is just so sexy. Knowing that I make you feel this good, that you’ll let me do whatever I want. I could listen to you all day, you just sound so good, I love fucking you. Be as loud as you want, I wanna hear you when you cum, baby.” 

Your orgasm hits and immediately your legs start shaking, trembling under the weight that your brain can no longer handle. As you collapse, Ryujin inevitably slows a little, but she regains herself soon enough, and your legs twitch with every movement from her fingers. If your brain was messy before, it’s now like a tornado has gone through you. Thoughts come through but they’re messy, disjointed, out of place. 

You lay there a bit longer to gather yourself, your legs still trembling slightly and your brain only mildly unfogging as a minute and then two go by. Ryujin hardly moves, only able to pull the strap off, mostly because you cling to her with all the remaining strength in your body. Which isn’t a lot but she’s still in the mood for indulging you. 

Everything good has to end at some point, but at least for you it ends with a butt pat from Ryujin. 

“Up we go baby doll, shower time.” 

“No, I don’t wanna.” You pout, and your tone is far more childish than you intend it to be.

Honestly, though, why shower when you can lay here comfortable and warm in your girlfriend’s arms? However, said girlfriend is not content to do so, which is just a tragedy. So, with initially shaky knees, you make it to the shower. The second round you’ve been dreaming of before almost came true right then and there, but a mutual agreement comes that this is not the best place. Speaking from experience of course. You’re allowed to be degenerates wherever you want in your own apartment.

It’s even better than you expect, too. Ryujin wastes no time with her hands roaming your still wet body, simply letting her hand fit between your legs. You follow suit, and the way her sounds vibrate through you is pure indulgence. 

#wooyussy recs #ryujin smut #itzy smut #shin ryujin smut #my writing #clownracha prompt #clownracha monthly prompt #clownracha january prompt #boy have i ever forgotten how to tag smut fics wth #oh well. you see it or you don't idc

[decaffedthoughts]

That Flower Was You

pairing: Son Dongju (Xion)/Kim Geonhak (Leedo)

word count: 8.2k

Equal fluff and angst, I'd say

summary: After an innocuous conversation with Hyunjin, Dongju begins to question what he likes to wear and what that means for who he is. What follows is a tumultuous period of internal self-discovery and change. At the same time, Dongju continues to deal with his feelings for Geonhak, and there are a lot of those. His roommates and friends are all very aware of all those feelings, much to his dismay.

a/n: Inspired by this fic on ao3 by gardenjins! Also crossposted on ao3. In the texting sections other characters will be bold and Dongju will be regular text. Fulfilling the clownracha quarterly prompt: new year, nugu

Dongju had plenty of friends his age at college. So many of them were so cool that he had to befriend at least some. Currently, his dearest of those was Hwang Hyunjin. Of course, Hyunjin had xyr own set of friends, and boyfriends and partners of all ages. Dongju was proud to say they had regular contact, so he wasn't surprised when he received a random picture with no other message attached.

He opened it, walking back from class one day, and was surprised to see Hyunjin in a pretty little skirt. Xe was clearly standing in a dressing room and was typing while Dongju stared.

do you think i should get it?

why me specifically

gc is 50/50 split, so you’re the chosen one

i totally think you should, it’s really pretty

that’s what i said! good financial choices mean nothing when i can have pretty clothes

And that was where the conversation ended for the day. For Hyunjin, at least. For Dongju, the skirt just never left his head. He had never seriously considered wearing a skirt before. In that photo, Hyunjin looked good, and Dongju wondered if he could pull it off like xem. Probably not exactly, because Hyunjin was somehow one of the prettiest people on campus, but in xyr own way.

So, the next day, he went back to their message thread.

hey hyunjin do you have other skirts too?

ooooooooh yes i do! good morning to me

Dongju breathed out a laugh, watching Hyunjn type, likely taking longer because xe was trying to type and take photos simultaneously. What followed was about an hour of Hyunjin going through their impressive skirts collection, some highlights from other closets, and a nice long tangent on Changbin's dresses. Dongju only sent a word occasionally commenting on a particularly nice item. Hyunjin always responded with "noted", but he didn't mind.

It culminated in Hyunjin finding xyr own only dress, to which xe assured Dongju xyr getting more soon. The picture immediately took Dongju's breath away. Hyunjin was wearing a gorgeous strawberry dress. Dongju was never interested in the dress while it was a tiktok trend, but suddenly, he understood why everyone else was. The original dress was a little expensive at $500, but Hyunjin found a silhouette they liked for a little less. More than Dongju would spend on a single clothing item in college, but that's what would happen when you had 2 rich boyfriends who loved to spoil you.

Dongju couldn’t stop staring that time, but it felt different in a way he couldn't explain. Hyunjin emphasized that clothing was just pieces of fabric and said little to nothing about your gender, but Dongju felt something different when he looked at Hyunjin spinning in a field in a dress. He both could and couldn't imagine himself doing it at the same time. It was an abstract feeling. Like he couldn’t because he hadn’t ever done it before, and it sort of felt like he wasn’t allowed to, for some reason. But he could, and he wanted to, to feel the freedom that Hyunjin embodied in that photo. 

All of that stayed inside for now until he could make a little more sense of it.

"Oh." Dongju breathed.

It felt better than anything he had ever worn, and he couldn't imagine anything else being even better. It felt so right. He spun, and the translucent layer hung long and brushed over his calves softly. Slowly, he looked up at the mirror he knew was there. It's hard because despite the pretty, flowing skirt, everything else about him is still distinctly masculine, or so he thinks. Maybe Hyunjin would say otherwise, but some things weren't meant to be spoken out loud yet. They'd just live in Dongju's head for now.

It was more apparent when it was on him that the gold pieces were meant to be little fireworks. It was pretty. Not a word Dongju thought he would ever be allowed to use to describe himself, but it felt good. He likes being pretty. Inside, his childhood self is clapping and watching with adoration. This could be the beginning of everything that child wanted.

Now, it was different. Because he'd thought that Seoho was pretty and Seoho was a man. He thinks Geonhak is pretty on a daily basis, and Geonhak is probably more secure in his masculinity than anyone else Dongju knew.

"Ju? You all good out there?" Hyunjin's voice came, muffled, through the door.

Dongju mentally curses, he forgot Hyunjin was here, how rude. But it's so easy to just keep staring at himself in the mirror and going over 50 arguments about why this is a good and a terrible decision.

"Yeah! You can come back now." Dongju said.   

Hyunjin flings open the door, only stopping it from slamming back against the stopper with the tips of xyr fingers. Dongju would be impressed with xyr reflexes if he wasn't otherwise occupied. And he certainly is, swaying back and forth and feeling it brush softly against his legs. A little bit ticklish but mostly pleasant.

Hyunjin squeals at both a pitch and volume too loud for what is meant to be happening in the dorm today, which is nothing. Dongju hurriedly shushes xem, and Hyunjin apologizes softly but kept xyr eyes on the skirt.

"It's like it was made just for you, Ju. Look at you." Hyunjin lifted xyr eyes to Dongju's face and practically melted at what xe saw.

Dongju was staring at himself in the mirror again, wholly entranced. "I look like myself. I feel like myself. This is incredible."

Hyunjin didn't have any words to answer with, xe just smiled at Dongju through the mirror, glad xe could bring this piece of joy to xyr friend.

"I'm gonna bring you so many pretty skirts. I don't think any of Changbin-hyung's dresses would fit you, though, sorry. His shoulders are stupid wide."

Dongju sighed, but he didn't expect much from that. And the idea of being small, smaller than Changbin is kind of nice. His group of friends was great for that because all but one were either the same height or taller than him. And what Hwanwoong lacked in height, he more than made up for in energy and feistiness.

They did this over and over again. Dongju suspects that not all skirts were recycled hand-me-downs but new gifts, but he didn’t say anything. It's not like he had a receipt or anything to prove it. Just a feeling. Either way, it's nice to be spoiled by someone else without asking. The last time he felt like that was when his parents would bring home the toys he wanted without asking. Or would the times that the others show up with food count? Either way, he felt spoiled in a way that he rarely did.

It happened so often that the others were not necessarily suspicious, just a bit confused. Hyunjin came in with a bag, stayed for an hour, and then left with nothing. No one knew what was in the bag or where they went because Dongju made them disappear.

Internally, he was becoming more confused by the day but said nothing to anyone. He'd noticed being out in public is a little more uncomfortable, and he didn't like people looking at him. Sure, he didn't really before, but it wasn't so visceral and uncomfortable then. There wasn't an apparent reason why in his head, so he just kept moving along and trying to avoid being around many people in public.

The other strange thing is the slight wrongness under his skin when someone calls him a man. At first, he just attributes it to not feeling like a proper adult despite being almost done with college. It lasts a few weeks until he googles it to see if anyone else felt like this and how they deal with it.

The results he got were... different. Reddit post after Reddit post, ranging from one reply to almost a hundred.

I don't feel like a man, but nothing else seems right. What do I do?

I feel uncomfortable when people call me a man or a boy, it feels wrong. Anyone else feel this way?

I have long hair, and someone behind me assumed I was a woman. Why did I like it so much?

Dongju had thought about growing his hair long once, and Hyunjin regularly oscillated between shoulder length and short hair. What if someone mistook him for a woman in public because of his hair? It didn't feel *wrong* per se, but that was probably just because it was a theoretical experience, and he wasn't actually experiencing it. If he was called a woman, he'd definitely be weirded out. Definitely.

The googling continued, and Dongju found other pieces he related to in some people's stories, so he kept looking. However, the more he looked, the more similar the results became.

Trans, egg, trans woman, trans femme, agender, non-binary

He'd heard some of the terms from Hyunjin, who also gracefully explained what they meant personally, but Dongju would never have connected them to his own experience. And he continued to be determined not to.

There was no moment in his childhood where he wanted to try on a dress or makeup or anything like that. Nobody teased him for being different like that. Mainly, they focused on him being nerdy or quiet or something. He never found himself wishing his body was different or that his puberty was wrong.

But... sitting in his room in the dark, Dongju let himself wonder for a little bit. What happened at 2am didn't count, so he ignored it until morning.

What would it be like if his voice hadn't dropped in middle school and stayed slightly higher? Or what if his body was smaller and rounder, rather than the muscle his roommates had encouraged him to build?

Dongju clicked his phone off and slapped it down, throwing both hands over his face as if to avoid looking at his thoughts. Surely, there was no way that he liked some of these thoughts? There was no way he would want a different body or a lighter voice or to be accepted in longer hair and skirts. No, this was just slight sleep deprivation and a sign he should stop staying up so late googling this nonsense. He silently resolved to get a better sleep schedule over the next few weeks, which would solve everything.

Getting more sleep was pretty good for him, but it didn't solve anything in thinking about what he'd be like as a woman. If anything, it was worse because it also started being in his dreams. Some were more like his current self and experimenting, but some looked completely different.

Dongju would wake up and lay in bed, turning the dreams over in his mind until he woke up more and realized what was happening, shaking it away and ignoring it for the rest of the day.

Eventually, it wears him down a little, seeing the same dreams and thinking about the repetitive results he got when googling such personal experiences. There were some queer clubs/groups on campus, so he went out to one of them.

Thankfully, Dongju hadn't met any of the people before, so they just nod and accept him. They don't ask him any questions, and he didn't say much in return and instead just listens. It didn't provide any answers but is a friendly little community.

He went for a few weeks, becoming somewhat of a new regular. It came to the point where they start asking him questions.

Name? Easy. Pronouns? Dongju hadn't properly admitted it to himself yet, but exclusively he/him didn't feel quite correct anymore, and he didn't know what to replace it with either.

"Um... not sure yet. That's why I started coming here. He/they, I guess?" That was the best answer he could get out.

The person, Moonbyul, just nodded and didn't question it. She seemed really chill. He kept going, talking to more and more people and becoming less and less sure of everything. At some point, Moonbyul and another girl named Yoohyeon. He was a little scared at first, and it must have shown on his face because both laughed and assured him they were committed lesbians.

One night, he texts Moonbyul impulsively before he could convince himself not to.

Hey

Hello there

Can you try something out for me? She/her pronouns. Not in person, just like. A short text

interesting. sure Dongju is a new friend of mine. I think she's kinda cool

Dongju stared at the text for a while without responding, internally repeating it again and again. I think she's kinda cool. She is. She.

You alive over there?

Oh, um yeah Just.... yeah

It felt good?

Hah, I guess so

Well, welcome to the club I guess

Lol the club of what? Womaning? Am I a woman? Oh god

Hah, I'll let you figure that out I can't answer it for you Want me to tell anyone, or are you doing it yourself?

No, I'll do it myself. Just... give me some time He/they for a while, if you don't mind

Yeah, whatever you need Just lemme know when it's gonna be okay

Dongju sends a simple heart before closing her phone and then her eyes. Now what? Seriously, how do people deal with this and then move on? Who should she tell first? What should she tell them? How long should she wait? Now she knew, and there was only so long she'd be able to handle the wrong pronouns now that she knew the right ones and what they feel like.

She picked her phone back up and looked at the time. Damn, no time for a crisis right now, she had an assignment due that night that she'd done hardly any of.

After submitting the assignment Dongju was so exhausted from several hours of adrenaline-fueled work that she was exhausted and went right to bed. It took her a while to fall asleep, but she had no space to think of much.

The next day, she had nothing else pressing, so she spent almost an hour wondering what to do. After she eats breakfast she just sits at the table and stared into space. Her other roommates seem to be out or asleep, so none of them were there to ask what the fuck is going on and she could zone in and out in peace. The clock on her phone ticked over to 11am, and she decided to get out of there before her luck ran out and she had to explain or find some excuse.

When she returns to her room, Dongju is struck with sudden inspiration. Hyunjin! Xe'll obviously be okay with it and might even have some advice on what to do now. It's not a 1-1 exact experience, but it's something, and god knew she needed anything right now.

Hyunjin answered fast, and she was there a 30-minute bus ride later. One I'm here text and a knock later, and Hyunjin is practically bouncing as xe lets them in. Most of their boyfriend roommates were also home, so it was much louder, and Dongju stared wide-eyed. She'd been here before, but usually, it was much emptier and quieter. It made it less likely that someone would hear them talking over all the noise, which was nice.

Minho, Chan, and Seungmin all nod at her, and Jisung and Felix take a break from intense Mario Karting to wave. It was nice because she'd hardly talked to any of them, but they accept her like it's nothing just because she knew Hyunjin so well.

Hyunjin closed the door behind them and plops down on xyr bed, looking at Dongju.

"So, what's up? You never ask me to come over, and it seems serious."

Dongju starts fidgeting with her clothes awkwardly. How the fuck should she do this? Ugh.

"Um... well. Okay, I'm not sure sure yet, but I think I might be uh. Fuck, I hate this. Why is it so hard."

Hyunjin snorts before slapping a hand over xyr mouth to stop anything else. Xe stands up and forcefully pulls Dongju over to sit next to them.

"Unless you say you're like... getting married or something, I'm not gonna judge you. You see the fucking circus of people I live with. You're so normal in comparison to all of that."

It's genuinely a little reassuring to be "normal" for a minute. Dongju had been so caught up in feeling alone and not knowing who to go to that she forgot she was not completely alone. Personally, or just in other people who have these feelings.

"Thank you. I'm... I think I'm trans." She lets it hang in silence for a moment. "But you know, I'm not totally sure! I just had someone call me she over text, and it felt really nice. Yeah."

Dongju waits, staring down at her hands in her lap and waiting for Hyunjin's response.

"Okay, I was waiting to make sure you weren't gonna blurt out anything else. This is so exciting, though, oh my goodness! Am I the first person you told? Other than the friend you texted, who I definitely need to know more about." Dongju nodded slightly, and Hyunjin clapped in excitement. "Ah, I'm so honoured!"

Hyunjin launches xemself forward into a forceful hug on Dongju, who freezes for a minute but melts into it. She wasn't the biggest fan of hugs and whatnot, but she felt like she needed it now. They pull back, and Hyunjin is seriously beaming. It made Dongju a little less nervous, that this wasn't a bad thing and that maybe she'd make new friends or get closer to other friends.

"I get to be your little trans fairy godmother, this is wonderful. So, do you wanna tell me more about all of this? How did it happen, what are you doing now, any of that?"

Dongju laughed nervously, biting the inside of her cheek. "I'm not sure there is much to tell. It was months ago I started looking online cause I didn't feel like a man and thought it was just because I didn't feel like an adult yet. Then I started going to one of those college queer club things. That's where I met Moonbyul, the friend I texted, and she's super chill and open. I just randomly texted her and was like, hey, can you do something for me, use she/her pronouns in a message about me. She did and I don't even know how long I sat there looking at it, and it felt good, so I thought I was actually going insane. Like, no way. Yeah, that was, like, a week ago. And now I'm here."

Hyunjin looked at her with this strange little look on her face, like xe was proud and upset at the same time.

"Oh, my goodness. Little trans egg Dongju, not knowing what's happening. So you said not a man, but do you know what you might be more comfortable with now? Like, are you a girl, a woman, or not quite all the way that way? I just don't wanna say trans girl or trans woman or call you girlie if you're not, you know. And you don't have to have an answer yet! It's only been a week, so we can just keep testing what you like."

Dongju sits momentarily and thinks about it because she hadn't allowed herself to do so thus far. Is she a girl or a woman, or is she closer to some of those other terms she had seen?

She didn't know yet was the honest conclusion she came to, and she tells Hyunjin as much.

"Yeah, that's so fair! You've only known for like a week. So just tell me if I say something weird, or if I say something good!"

Hyunjin's the best person Dongju could've asked for on this journey. Xyr knowledgeable but also accepting and often upbeat. Of course, xe had xyr own serious and sensitive moments, but in general, xyr is just kind of chilling.

She spends another few hours there, just hanging out with one of her good friends, and it's lovely. Maybe she should get out more often, like Seoho said. God forbid she tell Seoho he was right about something, though, never.

As Dongju heads home, she considers when and how to tell her roommates about this. They're roommates and some of her closest friends, so there's no world where she didn't tell them. For now, everything was going perfectly fine. Her marks were good enough to pass, she'd got good friends, and she'd been learning more about herself. What more could someone ask for? Well, probably a whole lot more money, but that's beside the point.

But something had to break eventually, and in Dongju's opinion, it happened in the worst way.

It was another day, another Hyunjin visit.

In the house, they weren't in the habit of busting into other people's spaces, and to be fair, Geonhak did knock first. Unfortunately, the two seconds of warning provided was not enough for Dongju to make any meaningful attempt to hide. Geonhak must be way more flustered than Dongju could have guessed because it took a solid few seconds before he noticed.

His face got all red, and he couldn't stop staring. Dongju would like nothing more than to somehow evaporate. Or turn invisible, or teleport, or literally anything to make Geonhak stop staring like that. It made her feel itchy, and wrong. Even though she knew she wasn’t doing anything wrong, it's a piece of fabric.

"Are you gonna say anything? I feel uncomfortable and I'm not even involved." Hyunjin speaks, breaking the tenuous silence.

Dongju couldn't tell if she should thank xem or smack xem. Geonhak flinches like he was hit and starts about 6 different sentences before he commits to one.

"You look good, Dongju. Seriously. But, uh, if my laptop isn't in here, I should go. Have fun."

Geonhak waved awkwardly and then closed the door behind him. Dongju breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Could he have been lying? Sure, maybe. He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't say something like that just to spare someone's feelings, and certainly not Dongju's. They'd known each other for too long to pretend like that.

She'd take what she could get because it was nice. Hearing it from Geonhak directly gave her a little confidence boost. Maybe she'd show him more pretty things in the future, if the mere thought of doing so didn't make her want to explode.

"That was good! I've been telling you they won't care. First guy down, and he was the one you cared most about!"

Now it's Dongju's turn to flinch, because she certainly had not told Hyunjin about her crush on Geonhak. She would remember that.

"Who said he was the most important one? Who are your sources?" Dongju raises one eyebrow, trying her best to look suspicious and not nervous.

It did nothing for her, so the effort was really just wasted.

"Oh come on. Whenever I brought up telling somebody you'd always mention him first. Every single time. I'm not that stupid."  

Dongju had no counter to that, unfortunately. She simply sighed, then nodded and watched as Hyunjin grinned in triumph.

After the Geonhak skirt fiasco, Dongju decided to move along a little more because clearly, things would come to light whether she wanted them to or not. And Dongju did not like being out of control like that, not about her own identity. So she planned, and she wondered, and she panicked, and she cried a little. Ultimately, she knew she couldn't control her friend's thoughts and reactions and would just have to trust that they would accept her.  

"Hey, uh, guys?" Dongju peeked around the door, and all their heads snapped over to her at her voice.

It's clear they're all anxiously waiting, because she gave them almost no information on what was happening. Just that she had an announcement. Geonhak looked a little more relaxed, he must assume he already knew what this is about. If it were any other situation Dongju might have laughed, but she was too stressed about this to even try. He was about to get the shock of a lifetime.

"Okay, first of all, this." She hesitated a moment before stepping out from behind the door.

Hwanwoong is the first one to say anything, "cute!"

Agreements from everyone else ring out after. Geonhak leaned back onto the couch a little bit with a smug smile.

"I already told you I think you look good in this one." He said.

It's true, and precisely why she chose this skirt specifically. Geonhak wouldn't steer her wrong, which gave her peace knowing he would be behind her for this part. The rest of them explode, demanding to know why he got to see before the rest of them. Dongju rolls her eyes, these guys never change.

"It was an accident! Stop all your complaining, my ears hurt." She shuts them up fast, but they still don't look happy. Hwanwoong in particular side-eyes Geonhak and if she didn't want to avoid another argument Dongju might have laughed.

"But you said first of all right? So I feel like there's something else still." Seoho said, turning back to her.

Ah, trust Seoho to pick up on and remember that. Oldest of the friend group, always paying too much attention.

"Yeah." Dongju sighed.

She went over her mental script and the answers for the immediate questions she had a feeling they'd have.

"This is really hard, so I'll tell you when I'm done. Just… wait." She pauses, trying to force the words out of her mouth. "I'm trans. I'm a girl. And if that changes anything between us I'm sorry, but I can't live like this anymore. Hearing 'he' is grating, and being called a man makes me want to claw my skin off. I'm sure you have questions, ask away. Unless you just wanna kick me out right now. Yeah, I guess that's all.."

A few seconds of silence pass as they all process everything she'd said. Geonhak got there first, his face twisting in displeasure.

"We're not kicking you out. If anyone wants you to leave just because of this, I'm telling them to leave, not you."

A few tears well up, but Dongju starts blinking them away, determined not to cry about this in front of them. They all agreed quickly after that, and Dongju couldn't be more relieved.

"It might be hard at first, and I'm sorry for when I say something wrong. But you're still you, and I still love you." Seoho said.

Damn you, Seoho. That did it. Dongju crouched and hunched in on herself, suddenly sobbing almost violently. An explosion of emotion that no one was prepared for. All 4 men close in quickly to try and comfort her, murmuring comforting words. What Dongju is even less ready for is Geonhak petting her hair. It felt so good that she leaned towards him a little, only realizing when her side hits his knee, and she jerks back.

He didn't push it, which Dongju was very thankful for. She could only handle so many emotions at once, and flustered embarrassment would not be one of them. It took a while, and at some point, they all have to sit down to avoid their legs and feet going numb. Eventually, Dongju's tears slow, and she begins to breathe correctly again.

Someone's warmth disappears from behind her, and half a minute later, Keonhee crouches in front of her, a large glass of water in hand. She took it gratefully and downed it, not realizing just how dehydrated all that crying made her.

She did feel a little more clear-headed now. No one was upset, they all rushed to comfort her, and everything was still okay. Nothing is perfect, but things should get a little easier now.

What did not get any easier is having feelings for Geonhak, but at this point, Dongju expects that. She wasn’t even sure if her gender complicates things because she'd never heard of him with someone else, and he didn't talk about it either, at least not with her. And she'd rather fling herself into space than ask him, so she did some information-gathering first. In the process, she learns some harsh truths.

"Oh, are you thinking of finally confessing to him?" Hwanwoong asked.

Alarming statements all around, considering she had not spoken a word of her feelings to him. Lying to Hwanwoong was useless, especially since she was sure her shock was written all over her face already.

"Who told you? I bet it was Hyunjin. I never should have trusted that snake." Dongju bit her lip and contemplates the best method of revenge for this betrayal.

"What? No. I figured it out because when he's not looking, you look at him like he's the best thing since iced americanos. It would be sweet if it weren't so awful."

What if she murders this guy one day because spewing such absolute nonsense should be a crime. Surely, she looked at Geonhak in a completely normal way.

"Like he personally puts the moon up every night. I think it's sweet, but you didn't seem ready to talk about it, so I didn't say anything." Seoho said, staring at her and shrugging.

"This may be the worst day of my life," Dongju declares, and Seoho sputters. "My roommates know I have feelings for this guy, but I didn't tell any of them. What am I doing wrong?"

"Are you always this dramatic? Or does Geonhak just inspire that in you?"

Dongju ignores him in favour of pondering how her life led to this point. If she was so obvious about it, did Geonhak know too? He wasn’t the most observant guy, but it wasn’t like he was completely oblivious. Now, she had to deal with a new layer of nervousness around him, as if she wasn't doing badly enough already.

Despite that, she manages to be reasonable and normal around him, or she assumes. It all crumbles when they're out one day. They're all just walking around together, being menaces and taking up the whole sidewalk. Suddenly, Seoho flinches and sidesteps into Dongju, who yelps and glares. Seoho defends himself very quickly by pointing to the kid attached to his leg, who looked to be on the verge of tears. Geonhak moved so fast, and Dongju took a half-step back in shock.

"Hey, little buddy. My name is Geonhak, what's yours?"

The kid hesitates, clearly heeding stranger danger warnings but too far from any parental figure to say no.

"Hajun."

"Nice to meet you, Hajun! These are my friends. Can we help you find your parents? I bet they're very worried. Where did you see them last?"

"Back there. But they were going that way. I just wanted to look at the cool toys." His eyes start welling up again, but Geonhak is faster.

"Very good! You wanna go up on my shoulders? Then you can tell us about them, and we can all look together."

That dried the tears quickly, and Hajun nodded so fast that Dongju worried for his neck. Geonhak crouched down, and Seoho leaned down to assist Hajun's little legs up. Hajun squeals when Geonhak stands, and he flew up. For a moment, Dongju relived the weightless feeling she remembers as a child. She snapped out of it when they started walking, and Hajun began to talk.

"My mommy is kind of short, and she says one day I'll be taller than her. I'm so excited. But I won't be taller than my dad 'cause he's tall like you, Geonhak-ssi!"

Incredibly cute but not helpful. Many women were short, and plenty of men were tall, like Geonhak. Dongju was hoping that Hajun's parents recognized him and come over because she wasn’t sure that he would be helpful in their search.

"I bet you'll grow tall like your dad, Hajun. What are your parents wearing? Some cool outfit just like you?" Geonhak asked, and thank goodness for him. Dongju didn't know where they'd be otherwise right now.

Of course, Hajun only locks on to the most important part of that message. "You think my outfit is cool? Thanks Geonhak-ssi! I think your outfit is cool, too."

Dongju had to admit the kid had taste. Geonhak had a monochrome outfit on, and Dongju had been staring. A black and white jacket, a white shirt with some indeterminate design, and lethal black skinny jeans. She had tripped several times today because she was staring at his ass. In her defense, it's a nice ass!

"Thanks, buddy. What cool outfits are your parents wearing?" Dongju mentally congratulates Hwanwoong on the seamless transition.

"They're not wearing cool outfits! Not like you, mister." Hwanwoong visibly preened at the compliment, and in Dongju's opinion, it was horrifying. "My dad is wearing his weirdo One Piece shirt, and my mom is wearing her nerdy Sailor Moon shirt. They always argue about which one is better. I think it's dumb cause Naruto is better. Obviously."

"Obviously." Keonhee laughed, and Dongju found herself laughing along, too, amused by this child's certainty about his opinions.

They walk, and they keep walking. Dongju was starting to get worried that Hajun's parents were behind them somewhere or crossed the street to look and that they weren't going to find them. But she didn't say anything, so they just kept going.

"Hajun!" They hear, and they all whip around to find the source.

Two people frantically pushed through the crowd towards them and shouted for Hajun. Hajun himself starts wiggling, and it took quick moves from Keonhee to avoid either Hajun or Geonhak getting injured. Hajun and his parents meet in the middle in a heartwarming moment. His mother looked near crying, clearly frantic about losing her son for several minutes. His father hardly looked any better, but Dongju could see the panic melting away into relief. After a minute or three, they stand and look at the group.

"Thank you so much for helping him. We were so afraid when we looked down, and he wasn't there anymore. I should have been paying more attention." Hajun's mother said.

"No, no, it was my pleasure. He's a very well-behaved kid, you're doing well with him." Geonhak said sheepishly.

"You're very kind, thank you. Okay. Hajun, buddy. What do you say to the kind people?" Hajun's father bent down and asked.

Hajun gasped, bowing to them all. "Thank you, Geonhak-ssi and friends! I had fun."

Hajun stands and beams at them all, and they all look back at him, smiling just as sweetly. Of course, Dongju is drawn to look at Geonhak's smile. He seemed to be smiling the widest of them all, and Dongju would bet 10 bucks that he was already attached to Hajun.

It was devastating, and Dongju is barely holding herself together. She was able to keep it together while searching because that was much more pressing, but now Hajun is safe, and she had nothing else to focus on. The family walks away, talking happily amongst themselves and moving on with their day.

Thankfully no one is paying attention to her, and she had a few moments to pull herself together while they all discussed Hajun's cuteness on a scale from 1-10. Or, she thought no one was looking at her, but she heard her name in the middle of one of her deep breaths. It's a tone so familiar that her eyes snap open and immediately slide over to him. True to form, Geonhak is looking at her, practically staring her down and analyzing her from head to toe. She knew the man better than almost anyone else and still found it intimidating.

"You okay, Ju? You seemed upset." Geonhak asked.

"Of course! Just a little tired and stressed from being surrounded by all these people, you know how it is." Dongju throws on her best little smile and prays it's good enough for him to believe.

It seemed to be, as Geonhak watched her for a few seconds longer, then nodded his head, seemingly seeing what he needed.

"Okay. Let me know if you need a break. We can go to the side, or I can take you home."

Dongju could kiss him on the damn mouth right now, but that would defeat the whole point of her holding her feelings in. Instead, she just nodded, and they kept moving on with their original plans for the day out. They still circle back to Hajun occasionally, talking about how cute he was or how it was good he found them and not some creepy people, but mostly how cute he was. It's mostly Geonhak leading that part of the conversation, and Dongju had to actively and viciously squash down the thought of Geonhak with his own children and what they would look like.

They enter some random store, and a few minutes in, Seoho pulls her over to the side and starts whispering before Dongju could even process what was happening.

"You looked like you were in pain while Geonhak talked about that kid. Are you okay?"

Dongju externally just sighed, but inside, she was crying and about to lose it. Was she really that obvious? Oh, god. Hopefully, Geonhak was too distracted thinking about Hajun and didn't notice. But he was so observant, so he probably did, and thought she was a total weirdo. It was over.

"Dong. Ju. Shut that head up and answer me." Seoho hisses.

"Fine, I'm fine. Typical crisis about how cute he is with kids, no biggie. I just have to pray he didn't notice me being weird." Dongju shook her head.

Seoho waved it off. "Not much weirder than you normally are, it'll be fine."

Dongju is about to ask exactly what the hell that is supposed to mean, but Geonhak decided it is the perfect time for him to appear.

"Why are you two hiding in the corner? You could've told us if you wanna leave." Geonhak tilted his head, and Dongju had to take a deep breath before she said something stupid. It was really a problem.

"Nothing, nothing. Our little Ju is just having some boy problems." Seoho grins wickedly and casually strolls off, leaving Dongju silently plotting how to murder him quietly but painfully.

When she looked over, Geonhak looked... strange. When he saw her looking, he smiled and put on his older brother face.

"Boy problems, huh? You know you can come to me for those. We gotta make sure he's good enough for you." Geonhak said seriously, and it took everything in Dongju's muscles not to react in any of the immediate ways she wanted to.

"Ah.... seriously. You'd like him. He's protective, kind, smart, and funny. Too good to be liking someone like me." Dongju sighed, staring at her feet.

Geonhak made some strange set of offended noises. When Dongju looked up, she saw his accompanying twisted face and knew what was about to come.

"He'd be an absolute fool not to like you! If he's that dumb, then you're too good for him." Geonhak said.

Once again, Dongju had to tamp down the ironic laugh that wanted to jump out. She wishes she could tell him not to be so mean to himself, but she categorically refuses to confess publicly. If she had to do it, it would not be in some tacky clothing store in the middle of the day.

"Thanks. Anyways, not like I'm going to do anything about it. So, if he likes me back then we'll never know."

Geonhak wanted to protest, she could see it in his face, but Keonhee popped up from behind a rack and told him to come look at something. How neither of them saw that man the size of a tree walking over was entirely unknown, but Geonhak smiled awkwardly and shrugged. Dongju laughed a little at him and waved him off.

It hurts to be so close yet so far. Was Geonhak's praise a platonic or, romantic or other type of praise? At least it was genuine, which always felt good, but it made her heart go wild in a way that she shouldn't know if she should be accepting or not. He didn't seem overly bothered by her so-called "boy problems," which told her nothing.

Dongju had always and would always go to her mother for help if she needed something. That bond hadn't broken through time and change, and she loves her mother through all of it.

The first piece of advice is entirely expected.

"Give him food, honey! Everyone loves food, and not having to make it is nice. You've always said that man of yours is like a vacuum for food, and you know he'll appreciate the effort."

Dongju felt herself light up like a fire truck at "that man of yours" and immediately starts whining. It's a good thing she remembered to put her headphones in before this because if anyone else is home, they do not need to hear this. They'd teased her about this enough as is. Her mother laughed and ignored all of Dongju's very valid complaints.

"I've seen that man, and I know you'll get him. Though, you should do it quickly, just in case. Someone else might come along, and he might choose them if he doesn't know you're an option." Her mother said wisely.

Dongju just sighed because she knew, but hearing it from someone else was scary. Sitting back and watching Geonhak fall in love with someone else would tear her apart. If she tried, she'd know it wasn't meant to be and could try to move on.

"Ah, yeah. I know."

"If you know, then why haven't you done it yet, my girl! Make him your man properly."

Dongju's heart warmed hearing "my girl" come so naturally from her mother's mouth. It had taken a bit of accidental slip-ups, but her mother was so proactive that it was over quickly.

"I should do it soon, right? Kick everyone out and then surprise him after the gym or something. Yeah."

"Yes! It'll be perfect, he'll be so hungry, and then you can get out of your own head and talk to him when he's done."

Dongju's jaw nearly cracks at how quickly it drops open in sheer offense at her mother calling her out. She might be correct, but damn, she didn't need to say it like that! Her mother just cackles through the phone and waves goodbye, hanging up before she could get upset. Dongju lets out a short yell and then groans loudly, flopping back into her pillow pile.

After a short moment, a knock came at her door and opened after she called out some strange, probably affirmative, noise. Of course, Geonhak peeked around the corner, smirking in amusement when he saw her body flopped haphazardly all over the blankets and pillows.

"Everything okay in here? Nothing seems broken." He cautiously looked around, searching for anything broken or injured.

"No, I'm okay. Sorry. My mom was teasing me when I called her, and then she hung up before I could get her back."

Geonhak laughed, and Dongju pouted at him until he noticed.

"I love your mom, seriously. Is she gonna come down again soon? It's been a while."

"Why do you like my mother so much! She's gonna adopt you as her own damn son at this rate."

Geonhaks clicked his tongue and shook his head at her. Dongju felt slightly offended by it but let him speak before she ripped his head off. He should have felt lucky that he was so pretty (and kind and funny and-) because Hwanwoong would absolutely not be given that grace.

"You gotta make good impressions on everyone's moms for 2 reasons: they would believe you about anything and give you banging free food." Geonhak nodded slowly, like he'd just told Dongju the secrets of the universe.

He wasn’t wrong, but it was a little lackluster. For now, he lived.

Dongju had planned everything out, and it would convince Geonhak that she was very dateable. Until that confession happened, Dongju's roommates would still have to deal with her rants regularly. She loved them, even if she'd never say it.

Today's victim was Seoho.

"Seriously, dude. Seeing him with that kid permanently rewired my brain, I swear to god." She groans.

Seoho looked at her for a moment. "I don't know how that's possible, given how down bad you were before."

Dongju sits up, mouth hanging open and glaring at Seoho. She flops back into his pillows when he simply raises an eyebrow, silently screaming and kicking her feet.

"1. Rude. 2. It is possible. My brain is losing it 24/7. Do you understand how hard it was not to say something like 'hi, Geonhak! After seeing you with that child, I can't stop thinking about having an apartment with you and seeing you wake up in the morning and you coming home to me after working your day as a teacher!' He'd have me committed to a fucking psych ward. I'd probably deserve it at this rate 'cause what is this."

Seoho opened his mouth to say something, but someone hesitantly knocked at his door before he could. Dongju immediately freezes and looked about halfway to passing out then and there. Seoho stands but waits a minute to ensure she won't be doing that before swinging the door open.

She couldn't see Seoho's expression from there, and there was no time to say anything before he went past the person in the doorway. And who else walks in but Geonhak himself. She couldn’t do this right now, absolutely not. Apparently, she was rooted to her spot by some freeze instinct and possibly some masochistic will to see what he'd say. Assuming he heard what she had said before and didn't just happen to come in.

"So. You wanna live in a cute apartment with me and see my horrible morning bedhead?" Geonhak asked sheepishly, playing with his fingers and not looking at her.

Internally, she wondered how he was acting like the nervous one right now.

"I mean. Right now I'd much prefer going to drown in the nearest body of water, actually." Dongju stared at the ceiling, wondering how her life had come to this point.

"Um, I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that. Taking a soaking, drowned body on a date seems like a pretty bad time for everybody."

She had to sit and blink for a good 30 seconds or so just trying to process what that man just said. Surely, he didn't say date. Surely, he just said... something that sounds like date and had a similar meaning but wasn't. She had to sit up and look at him when he said nothing else. He was still fidgeting with his fingers and not looking at her.

"Did you just say date? Like a romantic type of date?"

"Yes. And if you're not going to drown yourself, then I'd like to take your very alive self on one instead. If you want to anyways, we obviously don't ha-"

His nervous rambling gave Dongju the strength and rage to push herself off the bed and stalk over to him.

"How did you hear me telling Seoho that I want you to come home to me and still wonder if I want to go on a date with you?"

Geonhak stayed silent and just took one, then two, slow steps toward her, stopping just far enough away that she could feel his presence.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered.

She nodded before thinking and stared at him, waiting and not daring to move. He raises his hand and lays it lightly on her cheek before leaning in. Dongju's eyes flutter closed and she stayed in the dark for a moment for him. When their lips touched, he put his other hand on her waist, and all she wanted to feel was more. She couldn't tell him that, but she tried to push a little into his hand anyway.

Their first kiss is short, and sweet, and she pulls back less than a centimeter before going back for more. Her arms feel awkward by her side, so she put them on his broad shoulders. Finally, she got to feel the results of all his workouts instead of just staring longingly. And, presumably, she'd be able to do that a lot more now, too. Delightful.

It still wasn’t enough for her, and Dongju looped her arms around his neck and pushed herself closer, pressing their chests together. Geonhak made a surprised little noise, but it only seemed to inspire him to grab her waist firmer with both hands. Exactly the way she wanted. The half-second pull away to breathe quickly stopped being enough, and Dongju leaned back then laid her forehead on his shoulder.

"Fuck." She breathed, and then giggled a little at her own breathlessness.

Geonhak laughed with her, holding her close. It's perfect. Everything is warm and comfortable, just as Geonhak always had been for her.

#oneus fluff #oneus angst #oneus mxm #clownracha prompt #clownracha monthly prompt #clownracha quarterly prompt #idk how we're tagging this now so we're just doing both this time #my writing

[hwatermelonsuga]

Fool's Gold: ix. Desire

° Series Masterlist

° genre: pirate au, pirateez

° word count: 2.03k

° warnings: language, toxic relationship again (are we surprised no), alcohol, embarrassment

° pairing: seongjoong

° summary: Set in the Golden Age of Piracy, join Hongjoong and his crew on a quest to find Captain Avery’s hidden treasure as they come across traitors, lies, and a tyrant for a king.

“So you’re telling me Jones tricked everyone to join the crew?”

“Well that was obvious, Bull.”

“I’m just ‘a clarifyin’.”

The two pirates looked at each other.

“What does that even mean Bull?”

Bull shrugged and took a swig of his drink. The other pirate shook his head and turned his attention back to Jongho. The circle of crewmates were all anxious to hear the next story. They kept suggesting other members, some (probably newer ones) even suggested to hear Jongho’s story even though that was done already. To Jongho it just sounded like gibberish. He tried to calm the crowd down but they just kept going.

“Alright, alright! One at a time.”

Some of them settled down at that, scared of the deceivingly strong kid.

“I wanna hear about Yeosang’s story. I still wanna know what happened to his eye.”

“I told you he got burned.”

“AND I TOLD YOU HE DIDN’T!”

“Well what else could it be, huh?”

Jongho interrupted the argument. “Well, what actually happened-”

He was interrupted by other crew mates who announced that they’ve hit land. They were making a pit stop at the closest town before finishing their voyage to the island that possibly held the hidden treasure they were looking for. The members around Jongho groaned as they wanted to hear the rest. Jongho smirked at their disappointment and acknowledgement of the fact that he wasn’t going to tell them the story of Yeosang and his mark. They needed answers but they were never gonna get them. The men dropped the sails and anchor, making sure that the ship wouldn’t go into sea and leaving them there with no way out.

While everyone bustled around, a member went up to Hongjoong with the only two prisoners that survived the trip and the torturous interrogation.

“What should we do about them?” Hongjoong thought about it. He’s gotten what he needed from them and he’s sure that they wouldn’t come after them. Hopefully not since they are fingerless.

“Eh, do whatever.”

With that, the pirate went about his business, dragging the two off the ship. Hongjoong looked out to spot Seonghwa, but couldn’t find him.

Should he just give up? Maybe he’s meant to be a sad and alone captain, just like all the others. Just like Jones.

Ew, he didn’t want to be like Jones.

No one wants to be like Jones.

Maybe karma came and bit him in the ass? Sure, Hongjoong likes biters, but not like this. Maybe he should repent? Hongjoong laughed at that thought. There is not one religious bone in his body, and even then, he’s not the bad guy. There’s worse out there. He knows he won’t be the first person the devil would drag to hell (even if that’s what all the priests and kings say- filthy liars).

“Captain,” someone shouted, snapping him out of his thoughts. He turned to see San with Mingi and Wooyoung.

“What’s going on?”

“We’re headed to see Yeonjun, wanna come with?”

Hongjoong thought about it for a moment, should he? He thought why not, they had been at sea for too long and he needed something that wasn’t rum and pickled everything. The group went to the closest tavern where Yeonjun was waiting for them. Entering the establishment, there weren’t many people sitting down, a lad here or there. They easily found him at a table and headed over.

“Glad you guys got here in one piece,” Yeonjun started. “Everybody hasn’t come yet but they’ll be here in a bit. They got stuck at the market.”

The guys made small talk, San and Wooyoung talking about the voyage and Yeonhjun telling the story of how Beomgyu almost lost a leg to a pregnant lady. Hongjoong zoned out for the whole thing. He enjoyed being with friends, but right now he wasn’t really in the mood. The stress from people being after him, Seonghwa ignoring him, and just being a captain in general was getting to him. At this moment, he wasn’t present, just an empty vessel going through the motions of mundane life. Well as mundane as his life can be. The others noticed it a bit but didn’t say anything. They figured that he was just exhausted from the trip, so they didn’t bother with including him in every conversation.

The time went by when the place gained more customers. It wasn’t exactly crowded but there was a good amount of people there, enough to make Hongjoong feel like he was suffocating. This feeling confused him. It was something that he’s never felt before, the feeling of not being able to breathe. Something heavy in his chest, like a weight right on top of him that won’t let him escape. It could be the air in the room or the humidity, but he didn’t think those were the causes. He reached for his drink, hoping it would help. San looked over and was even more worried. Maybe it wasn’t exhaustion. He didn’t know what to do, he’s never seen Hongjoong in this state before. Matter of fact, he’s never seen anyone close to him in this state. He left it alone though, not wanting to make it worse. He knew Hongjoong would freak out if any one of them talked about it. He’s supposed to be put together, a strong and fearless captain. He shouldn’t be led by emotions, except for greed and anger.

“Hey is that Seonghwa?”

Hongjoong looked up when he heard that. Seonghwa? Where is he?

He turned around to see the man walking in with a group. Some of them were their crew and others he didn’t really recognize. He looked away to not make eye contact, even though they were way in the back.

This night couldn't get worse.

“Maybe we should invite him over,” Yeonjun asked.

“Nah, it’s fine. Looks like he’s with Ten away,” Mingi spoke up.

He froze up at that. Hongjoong couldn’t get mad, but he was a bit heated at that. Of all people Seonghwa decides to hang with, Ten? His ex? Or at least that’s what Hongjoong thinks they are. Seonghwa never really talked about his past with Ten, so he just assumed that they were together and broke up. Did he have any evidence for this? No, but who cares. Seonghwa never gave him details, so Hongjoong was gonna make up whatever.

He slightly turned his head to see where the two were but couldn’t spot them. He didn’t want to fully turn or the others would say something. How can he do this discreetly?

Should I just pretend I dropped something? No, maybe I should just go to the bar and order a drink. That could work… but I still have half a glass here. I can chug it, but that would-

“Cap, just go over there.” Hongjoong snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of Mingi’s voice. He turned over to him.

“Huh?”

“Go over there. I know you want to talk to him, and since we’re in public he has to talk to you.”

Hongjoong wasn’t so sure about that. He was afraid that Seonghwa would just make an excuse to leave or something. Then again, he didn’t have any other option right now. He tried talking to him when they were at sea but all Seonghwa would do is make himself busy or threaten to push Hongjoong off the ship (and Hongjoong was sure he would actually do it). Maybe Mingi was right. Maybe with the amount of people here who know their reputation, Seonghwa will actually talk to him or at least hear him out. He can’t make Hongjoong look bad in front of everyone. He’s supposed to be the new big, bad captain who is still loved by his crew.

With a pat on the back from Mingi, Hongjoong got up to the bar and ordered another drink. Standing there, he glanced over to Seonghwa and Ten. They were getting a bit too close in his opinion. Ten was laughing and grabbing Seonghwa's bicep while the latter just smiled at the tiny man (Hongjoong really shouldn’t say anything about Ten’s shortness since they are around the same height, but he didn’t care). He didn’t get what was so funny but he had to put a stop to this. Who the hell does Ten think he is? No one’s replacing Hongjoong. Not today, not ever!

The lady at the bar gave Hongjoong his drink and he gulped it down. He gripped the handle of his knife on his side and walked over to the two men.

Seonghwa looked up for a moment to see Hongjoong walking over to them. He kept a sigh in and paid attention to Ten. Is he really about to make a scene? He really hopes he doesn’t.

Hongjoong walked up to the two and sat right next to Seonghwa, surrounding him by his past and present. Ten was a bit confused but didn’t comment on the captain invading their space. Maybe Seonghwa knew him? Or maybe he’s about to flirt with the man?

“Funny seeing you here Hwa.”

“Is it though? Literally every pirate comes here to drink.” The comment made Hongjoong pause, but that wasn’t gonna deter him from his mission… whatever that mission is.

“You make a good point. Anyway, uh… who’s your friend?”

Ten rose a brow. ‘If anything, I should be the one asking you that,’ he thought. Seonghwa rolled his eyes. He knew Hongjoong knew who Ten was. He could see through the captain and could easily recognize the jealousy in his eyes, his demeanor. They knew each other long enough for Seonghwa to spot it. In fact, they spent way too much time together for him not to. Did he want to play into his games? Maybe before, but right now he’s still a bit angry at Hongjoong.

“Cut the bullshit Joong.”

“What?”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes at him again. “Just.. go home. You’re drunk.”

“No I’m not.”

The two were about to start a staring contest when Ten spoke up. “Uh, maybe I should leave-”

“Yeah, you do that.” “No, don’t go.” The two spoke at the same time. Seonghwa sighed. Ten held back a grimace. He wasn’t really sure of what to do and it was getting awkward.

“Eh, no it’s fine. I have to leave anyway.”

With that, the man left, leaving a furious Seonghwa and confused but jealous Hongjoong. Seonghwa wanted to blow up at Hongjoong, but they were still in public. Sure he was mad at the man, but he didn’t want the still new captain to be embarrassed or lose his reputation. He knew he was probably going to regret this, but he grabbed the captain's bicep and dragged him outside, darkness surrounding them. He found a spot still close to the tavern where there was a torch lighting the space next to the building. Seonghwa turned to the other man and pushed him to where Hongjoong stumbled a bit.

“What the fuck is wrong with you,” Seonghwa yelled at him.

“Wha-”

“You’ve embarrassed me and then have the balls to act like you’re not doing this on purpose or whatever.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. If anything, you did that on purpose.”

“DID WHAT?”

“Talking to your fucking ex right in my face!”

“I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE THERE!”

Hongjoong laughed. “ Yeah right, okay.”

“No, you don’t get to do this to me! You don’t get to make me look like the villain when you’ve been doing shit behind my back! Get over yourself Hongjoong and talk to me when you have some sense… and sober.”

Seonghwa turned his back and started to walk away. Hongjoong reached for the man, but got an elbow to his gut. He hunched over, trying to catch his breath. He looked up to see the man he still loved walk away.

“I fucked up.. again.”

After a minute, Hongjoong walked back to the place and sat next to the group.

“Well,” Mingi was waiting for an answer.

The captain was silent.

“Wanna go steal stuff?”

And with a nod from the captain, Mingi announced to the rest to follow the two.

feel like this isn't my best but it's out so

tag you’re it: @felixtok @sunnytaes @burningupp @honeyvocalhwang@bunnypig18 @wooyussy

#pirates #pirate ateez #pirateez #fool's gold #seongjoong #ateez fanfic #ateez au #kim hongjoong fic #hongjoong x seonghwa #ten is here #he's in every fic so why not this one #clownracha monthly prompts recs

[hwatermelonsuga]

Fool's Gold: i. (The) Pirate King

° Series Masterlist

° genre: pirate au, pirateez

° word count: 1.7k

° warnings: language, violence, alcohol

° pairing: seongjoong

° summary: Set in the Golden Age of Piracy, join Hongjoong and his crew on a quest to find Captain Avery's hidden treasure as they come across traitors, lies, and a tyrant for a king.

“You muse know, that I am Captain of this Ship now, and this is my Cabin, therefore you must walk out” -Captain Avery

The sun was high in the sky. Not a cloud in sight. The waves were as calm as they could be near the shore. The sounds of seagulls disrupt the atmospheric peace as sailors and merchants went about their days. A few ships were parked near the deck with their sails down. The breeze gave relief to those working hard at fixing them. It seemed like any ordinary day.

“Give it up Jones! It’s over!”

The clash of swords was heard as two men went head to head. The shorter, black-haired one had the upper hand as the older and taller male was inching closer to the water below them. Jones looked behind him to see he was only a step away from falling off the ship. What can he do? Before he could think of the next thing to do, the shorter one used his sword to knock Jones’s weapon out of his hand. He pointed the end towards Jones’s neck. 

“You only have two options. Let us turn you in, or drown. Either way I’m satisfied.”

There was a pause as Jones looked at his option. He couldn’t go out as a coward. Fear shone through the man’s eyes and he raised his hands, surrendering to the clearly skilled man. 

“Good choice. Tie him up.” Other men came over with rope and tied Jones’s hands behind him. They picked him up and walked him off the ship. The winner of the duel stood tall and faced a cheering crowd. 

“Today marks a new era. No more lies, no more tyranny. Today you’re free!” More cheers sounded out as the man tried to calm the crowd. “As of today, I’m your captain now, and I hope you put as much trust in me and I put in you all.” 

As he finished his speech and walked down to everyone, the crowd of men yelled and cheered as they patted him on the back. He made eye contact with a particular crewmate and made his way over to him. As others dispersed, the two met in the middle and looked at each other. 

“Congrats, Kim. You’re the captain now”

“Drop the formal talk, Hwa.”

The two laughed as Seonghwa clapped him on the back. “Let’s get you a drink.”

They passed crew members and random people as they made their way to the nearest tavern and called someone to get drinks at their table. A few others that they recognized joined them in the celebration. Rounds of grog and rum were passed around as the lot became a bit rowdy. They all recapped the moment when the Kim Hongjoong overthrew their former captain Jones with ease. 

“Hey Hongjoong, wanna give another speech,” one of the members, Yunho yelled out. 

“Nah, nah-”

“Aw come on,” the group all said. 

Clearly, they all admired the man and wanted to hear more of his promises and hope for the crew’s future. Two other members, Wooyoung and Yeosang, pulled him by his arms to bring him to his feet. Hongjoong was reluctant, but he had to give the people what they wanted. He looked back to Seonghwa for help, but the black-haired man only laughed and shrugged. Hongjoong rolled his eye and went to stand on a table. The music stopped and everyone in the place looked to the leader and waited for what he was going to say. 

“Ah, I don’t know what to say. We’ve been through a lot. With Jones’s bullshit and him almost getting us killed several times. I’m glad that you all wanted me to be your captain. I’ll make things right. No more stupid adventures and failed promises.” 

Everyone’s eyes shone with happiness and pride as Hongjoong went on with another speech. He was the perfect choice for the new captain. Everyone loved him (I mean really, how could you hate the guy?). Every crew member in that tavern knew that the future was bright for them. There was a taste of freedom that they never thought they would experience. Maybe they’ll be okay.

As Hongjoong finished his speech, Seonghwa stood and raised his mug. “To Captain Hongjoong!” And with that, everyone followed. Cheers rang as they all took a swig of the alcohol that warmed their bodies.

The sounds of shanties rang through the building as people went back to talking and laughing. Hongjoong came down from the table with a red face and embarrassed smile. He sat comfortably next to Seonghwa as he called a waitress over for more to drink.   

“How does it feel Joong, or should I say Captain,” Yeosang teased. 

“Guys stop, I may be Captain, but we’re all still on the same level.”

“Ah shut up! You have the most important role. You’re basically our boss,” Yunho stated and Hongjoong rolled his eye at that. 

“Well, I feel the same as before.” A hand hit his shoulder at that. “Well, it’s true! I mean, I’m no different than you guys. We all have an important role in this crew. If we didn’t have Yunho, we’d be lost at sea by now. If we didn’t have Yeosang, we’d have so much on our hands and everything would fall apart. If we didn’t have Wooyoung, we’d die of hunger or an infection. If we didn’t have Mingi-”

“Okay, okay we get it! We’re important and you’d be dead without us. ” Wooyoung stopped him, which earned him a look. 

“HONGJOONG,” someone yelled, running into the tavern. 

The men turned to see another member of the crew, San as he had a piece of paper in his hand and an excited look on his face. A huge smile was shown as his dimples were prominent. 

“Uhh it’s Captain to you,” Wooyoung corrected him but San pushed him out of the way before he could go on. 

“What’s going on?”

“Guess what I found,” San asked as he jumped up and down. 

“Don’t know what you found, but I know what you lost,” Yeosang commented.

“What?”

“Your mind!”

Hongjoong interrupted them. “What did you find?”

San slammed the paper on the table. “Captain Avery’s treasure is still out there!”

Some of the men were intrigued and others were annoyed. They were tired of hearing about this treasure. They weren’t even sure if it actually existed. 

“San, you know that that whole treasure is a lie right,” Jongho speaks up as he sits down in an empty seat, just arriving at the tavern. 

“Shut it errand boy,” San insulted him, but then flinched as Jongho gave him a look. “Look guys, why not just go for it. Why not take a chance? What if it’s real?”

“And what if it’s not,” Hongjoong stopped him. “I’m not risking any of our lives for some tale. People going there haven’t made it back and the ones that have didn’t even find the treasure. Just give it up, San. It’s only some silly children’s tale.” 

The ones that were hopeful sighed as they slumped in their chairs. On the other hand, San didn’t give up. 

“Captain, please.”

“You heard Hongjoong. We shouldn’t take that risk. And it’s probably not true. We all know that Captain Avery spent it all and died alone,” Seonghwa patted San’s arm.

“Oh, really? I heard him and his crew took it all and fled to a random island,” Yunho spoke up. 

“Who cares. Bottom line is we won’t need that treasure, trust me.” Hongjoong drank the last of his grog and stood up. “Alright let’s head out, where’s Mingi?” 

“Headed to the ship from Old Man Teach’s.” 

They all left for the ship. People who stayed on board made sure everything was fixed and ready to go. The men all boarded the ship and took their respective spots. Hongjoong watched as his closest crew ordered everyone around, making sure that their take off was smooth. The sails were out and the anchor was pulled up. At the wheel stood Yunho as he took them to their next destination, Misfit Island. 

~~~~~~~~

The next night

~~~~~~~~

The sound of a calm sea and flickering candles filled the room as Hongjoong and Seonghwa locked themselves in the Captain’s room. The two laid in Hongjoong’s bed for the night after some… activities.

“You know you should be out there with the others,” Hongjoong whispered into the dim but warm atmosphere. Tucked into the captain’s side, Seonghwa laughed.

“Trying to kick me out? How rude.” Hongjoong chuckled at that.

“No, no. Can’t seem like I’m picking favorites-”

“It’s not like they don’t know already, Joong.”

This silenced him. He didn’t think it was obvious, but he guessed that he and Seonghwa weren’t as discreet as he thought they were. They’ve had a thing going on for months now. The inner circle pretty much knew what was going on. Honestly, they made a bet to see how long it would take for them to get together (Yeosang and Mingi won). The inner circle supported them no matter what. It was somewhat rare but not unheard of, two male pirates getting together. At this point, no one really cared. They’re pirates. They’re worried about getting money and getting drunk, and that’s possibly why Hongjoong wasn’t as reluctant. In their world, no one cared about what others did (unless it dealt with them of course) and no one pushed into anyone’s business. People were free to do anything, and that was what pirate life was about: being free with no consequences. 

Huh, freedom with no consequences…

Even though they lived by that, deep down Hongjoong knew better. There was freedom but there were so many consequences. Diseases, kidnapping, lies, betrayal, pain, imprisonment, executions. These were the downsides of piracy. This was the reality that people ignored. They couldn’t avoid it. 

But even through all that, even with the consequences… Hongjoong kept his crew in a bubble of ignorance.. a bubble of bliss. 

Hongjoong wanted that for himself. 

He wanted to be selfish. 

So here he is, wrapped up with the man he adored. The man who was always by his side. The one who encouraged him every day and night. The one he knew who wouldn’t betray him. His first mate. 

His right-hand man. 

tag you're it: @felixtok @sunnytaes @burningupp @honeyvocalhwang @bunnypig18

#ateez #ateez au #kim hongjoong fic #ateez fanfic #clownracha monthly prompts recs #seongjoong #pirateez #pirate ateez

[hwatermelonsuga]

Fool's Gold: viii. Tyme Flyes When You're Havin’ Rum

° Series Masterlist

° genre: pirate au, pirateez

° word count: 3.4k

° warnings: language, death, alcohol, manipulation, toxic relationship involved, toxic character, stabbing

° pairing: seongjoong

° summary: Set in the Golden Age of Piracy, join Hongjoong and his crew on a quest to find Captain Avery’s hidden treasure as they come across traitors, lies, and a tyrant for a king.

“He has come to be the great man he thought he wanted to be. If this is true, then he is not a man. He is still a little boy and wants the moon.” - Cup of Gold

4 Years Ago

“Hey Joonieeee, can you get me another one?”

The man who was called rolled his eyes as he prepared another beer for the customer. As he gave him the drink, the man winked at him and tried to grab his arm. Before that could happen, Hongjoon pulled out a dagger and stabbed it into the wood next to the man’s hand. He was frightened while Hongjoong smirked at him, leaving him to get back to his job.

Hongjoong was sick of it.

The men here were disgusting. He didn’t know how he could do it. They were always at the tavern to get drunk and to find someone or something to stick their dick in. Most of the time that someone was Hongjoong, seeing as they scared all the women off.

Hongjoong wished that he could’ve done something else with his life, but he had no other skills. And trust, he has tried every other job there is out there. He’s not that great at selling things, people piss him off all the time, and his parents didn’t have any particular skills… except for stealing.

Yeah, he wasn’t that lucky in life. So here he is, at a tavern… serving drinks to pigs.

“Joong!”

Hongjoong turned his head to see an old friend, Chan, walk into the building. Following him with puppy eyes was one of his crew members. He was a bit shorter with blonde hair and an innocent look on his face. Hongjoong was sure he was still dangerous, even if he looked like he couldn’t hurt a fly. Maybe he’d kill a man before he’d kill a fly.

“Channie! What are you doing here?”

“Well, I decided to stop by since we’ll be in town for a bit. Came to see how you were doing. Oh, by the way, this is Felix. Felix, Hongjoong.”

The two shook hands with smiles and Hongjoong showed them to a seat at the bar. He grabbed them something to drink and told the guy working with him to take over. He hopped over the bar to the other side and sat next to Chan.

“How’s it going?”

“Ah, it’s alright. Just came from this small town. They didn’t have much there so we left ‘em alone. Wasn’t worth it.”

“Still out at sea huh? Man, I wish I can live the life you guys are living. Making your own rules, so much freedom. And you’re not that miserable.”

Chan laughed at that. “Well, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.”

“There are some rainbows though,” Felix hopped in. Chan gave him a look, signaling Felix to hush up.

“I’m sure it’s better than being here,” Hongjoong scoffed. They all looked around to see drunk men fighting and laughing. One tried to come up to Hongjoong but saw the glares on the men’s faces and backed away.

“Is this a regular day for you,” Felix asked.

“Yeah, I guess. Sometimes it’s worse.”

“Well if you want to be a pirate so bad, why not join one? I’m surprised that you’re not,” Felix inputted.

“How do you know I’m not a pirate?”

“Trust me, I can tell.”

Hongjoong laughed at that. “Honestly I would, it’s just that… huh. I don’t know.”

Why is he not a pirate already? Why is he just serving drinks to these… men? He could be living the life he’s dreamed of for years, really ever since he was a toddler.

“Hey, how about you join us,” Felix offered. Chan almost slapped the man but he decided not to. He didn’t know.

“Ah, I don’t know.”

“Come on! It’ll be fun. You’ll love the crew-”

“Felix.”

“And you won’t have to do much. I’m sure everyone will love you-”

“FELIX! Calm down.”

Hongjoong had a look on his face. It’s not that he didn’t want to be a part of Chan’s crew. It’s just that… a certain person was a part of it. Someone he didn’t want to interact with.

“Why what’s wrong?”

“Eh.. maybe it’s not a good idea. Thanks for the offer though.

They sat in silence while Felix was trying to understand what was going on. Why didn’t he want to come with them? Felix was sure that he would be a great addition. Chan didn’t say anything. He knew why Hongjoong didn’t want to join.

“So uh anyway…” Chan tried to move the topic onto something else but nothing came to his head for him to spit out. Because of that, they sat in more silence.

Felix fidgeted in his seat. He wanted to know the reason. What was the reason? He didn’t want to push it though. Maybe it was a good reason. Maybe not. Who knows? Felix doesn’t but he wants to right now. His curiosity was eating him alive. He couldn’t sit still and the guy next to him was on the verge of kicking him out of his seat.

“Ok, I need to know. Why won’t you join?”

“Felix, stop.”

“No, Chan, it's okay. We haven’t been together for a while.” Felix leaned in to get the full story. “It’s just uh... My ex is in your crew.”

“WHAT? Who is it?”

“Don’t answer him,” Chan budged in. “He doesn’t need to know. Just want something to talk about when we get back.”

Felix pouted at that and Hongjoong snickered. He couldn’t believe this man was a pirate. After a bit, Felix let it go. He’ll find out eventually. The guys stayed at the tavern for a few more hours until it was dark out. Chan invited Hongjoong back to their ship but he was iffy on that.

“It’ll be fine. Not everyone will be on board. We don’t leave until the day after tomorrow. I’m sure the guys are either causing trouble or getting drunk.” Hongjoong was still reluctant, but hey, why not. He’ll risk it. And if he does see his ex, he’ll just run. Simple enough.

They traveled to the docks and reached Chan’s ship. He was right, there weren't a lot of men on board. He was able to recognize a few men but there was no sight of the one he dreaded to see. A few of Chan’s men were seated in a dimly lit area on the deck and were telling jokes.

“Hey guys, this is Hongjoong.” The men nodded and allowed the three to join in.

Hongjoong could name a few. Changbin… Jisung… Seungmin…

He relaxed knowing that he was safe here. He joined in on the jokes and was enjoying himself. It’s been a while. All this time he’s been on his toes, watching his back. Turning people away and not bothering to settle in one place. It was nice to chill.

It didn’t last though.

“Joong! Surprised to see you here.”

He turned around to see the one man he didn’t want to see right now. Actually, not ever.

“Long time no see, huh.”

Someone kill him now.

“Ah Yuta, Seungmin just told this funny story about this lady’s house he robbed,” Jisung yelled out and turned to Seungmin. “Go on, you tell it better.”

“Ah, nah. The moment’s passed.”

“The hell are you talking about?” Jisung looked genuinely offended at that.

Hongjoong blanked out on the rest. His focus was on Yuta at the moment. He was trying to make himself smaller but it was too late. Yuta’s eyes burned his skin, his attention was too much. Hongjoong wanted to claw at his burning arm.

He wanted to run away. He couldn’t though.

He was stuck. Frozen.

How the hell will he get out of this situation?

Chan looked over once he noticed Yuta, Hyunjin, and Johnny walking over their way. He didn’t think they’d get back so soon. Fuck! What was he going to do? He felt so bad. Hongjoong will never trust him. He promised him that he would run into his past, but look at them now. How can this get any worse?

“Uhh, Yuta. Hey…” Hongjoong finally snapped out of it. He didn’t know what else to say besides that though.

The others didn’t pick up on the awkward tension between the two. Well… Felix did. Currently, he was in shock. Yuta and Hongjoong? What was going on between them? Was Yuta his ex? Can’t be! There was no way. How did they even cross paths? Felix was so confused but he was all into this plot.

Jisung and Seungmin kept arguing about the story while the others watched, Johnny whispering “fight, fight” right behind them.

Yuta walked closer to Hongjoong’s space while the other man had nowhere to go. He didn’t want to make a scene.

“What’s been going on?”

He didn’t want to answer that. He was silent for a bit and looked at Chan. Chan could see the panic in his eyes. He shrugged and motioned him to talk to the waiting pirate.

“Uh, same old, same old.”

“Hongjoong, how about we take a walk,” Chan jumped in.

“Well actually, I wanted to talk to you quickly,” Yuta pushed Chan back and entered Hongjoong’s space.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Chan, calm down. I won’t hurt him.”

“Anymore,” Hongjoong whispered. Luckily no one caught it.

“I know, it’s just-”

“The past is the past. And I’m sure Joong’s over it. Right,” Yuta turned his attention to the quiet man.

Chan was still iffy on this. He trusted Yuta, but not around Hongjoong. It’s been a year or so since they’ve split. Was it a terrible breakup? Kind of. He did have to make Hongjoong “disappear” but Yuta caught on. Hongjoong had a feeling that Yuta knew where he was the whole time. Was it worth the trouble? Yes. The thing is Yuta was toxic. He wasn’t good for Hongjoong. All of the fighting, flirting with others to make each other jealous, all of the trouble they would get into. Yuta was a pirate, so of course, he was a bad person. They all were. But the things that happened between the two men… Chan would never do that.

If Yuta wasn’t such a good gunman, he’d be out of here. Honestly, Chan feared for his life. Yuta can be scary when he wants to be.

Chan looked over to Hongjoong to see his expression. He hid his emotions well in this silent moment. He couldn’t figure out what the man was thinking.

“Yeah sure,” Hongjoong mumbled. Chan couldn’t believe him.

The two went to find somewhere private, which was not easy since Chan was following them. He wasn’t about to let them out of his sight. He lost them though when they went into the town.

“Well shit,” Chan huffed.

The two found themselves in a tavern that was surprisingly not crowded.

“So… what did you want to talk about?” Hongjoong wanted this over and done.

“I see you’re in a rush. Why can’t we just think about the good days for a sec-”

“Yeah no. I’m not doing this, so if you have nothing important to say then I’m leaving. You’re wasting my time.” Hongjoong went to leave when Yuta grabbed his bicep, bringing him back.

“Wait wait wait. Stay. I just want to say sorry.. for everything.”

Hongjoong was listening, kind of. This was rare but he didn’t know if it was genuine. And also… it took him this long to say sorry? Sure Hongjoong was in hiding, but Yuta knew where he was. So why now?

“I’ll need a drink… or 4.”

The alcohol helped a bit… maybe too well. Hongjoong doesn’t remember a thing. The drinks kept coming and his feelings for Yuta were coming back. At least, he thinks so.

Hongjoong woke up the next morning with a major headache and no clothes. He rubbed his eyes and looked to see Yuta next to him. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know how he got here. What the hell happened?

He didn’t have time for all of these questions though. He got up and searched for his clothes immediately, even if his body was telling him to stop. He had to get out of here though. It took him a minute but he eventually put his clothes on without waking up the demon he laid by last night and left out the bedroom door. He found himself in a hall. Is this a random person’s house?

No! No time for questions.

As Hongjoong walked closer to where he thought was the front door, something wretched reached his nose causing him to back up a bit and cover it. He couldn’t describe the smell. He does know that he wants to get away from it… but he has to get to the door.

“Let’s see how long I can hold my breath.”

He jogged but came to a stop at what was in the living room.

Blood.

Bodies.

Three unrecognizable bodies lay on the floor. Blood covered the floor and splattered on the walls. A knife was still lodged in one of the person’s chests.

If Hongjoong had to guess, it was the family that lived here.

Did… did they do that to them?

He teared up at the thought.

How did this happen?

How could he let this happen? It was supposed to be only one drink. How did a bit of alcohol lead to murder? But this is normal right? This is normal pirate shenanigans. This is what it means to be a pirate: steal, kill, ask no questions.

But this isn’t him.

He’s not a pirate.

He didn’t do this.

Yuta did it. Yeah, this isn’t his fault. It was all Yuta’s doing. And Hongjoong wasn’t even sober enough to remember. Maybe this happened before he came. Yeah, that’s what happened.

And it’s not like Hongjoong hasn’t seen a dead body before.

This is normal.

“Mary, I- what? What the..''

The door opening caught Hongjoong’s attention.

Oh shit.

The man who came in looked from the crime scene to the suspect.

“Who the hell are you? What are you doing here? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FAMILY?”

Hongjoong couldn’t answer the man. He was asking the same questions. All he could do was shake his head and try to get the man to calm down.

The man stomped towards Hongjoong who started to back up. He started yelling but it was going in one ear and out the other. Hongjoong was just trying to figure out how to get out. Everything was happening so fast. He was getting chased around the house. Hongjoong tried to speak up but the words didn’t come out.

“COME HERE!”

He had to get out quickly. The man had murder in his eyes. Hongjoong tried to avoid him but the man was gaining on him. He looked back to see him pull out something from his side. Was that a knife?

“Shit.” That was the only word that could come from his mouth.

And the last thing he said before he was tackled to the ground. His head hit the ground hard, which only made his headache worse. The man jumped on Hongjoong and went to stab him. Hongjoong grabbed his arm and tried to wrestle his way out of this. All of this fast movement tired him out. His arms were starting to give out. Where the fuck was Yuta?

Speaking of the devil, the man came in clothed and wide-eyed. This caught Hongjoong’s attention, but that one second of distraction cost him his eye. The man forced his knife into Hongjoong’s face and got him right dead in the eye.

~~~~~~~~

“What happened to you?”

Hongjoong glared at the worker who questioned him. He doesn’t remember how long it’s been since the incident. Hongjoong ran away to hide from Yuta. He doesn’t even know what happened to him. Chan told him that he got rid of him but that was all he told him. Chan apologized a lot to Hongjoong but it wasn’t on him. Hongjoong could only blame himself for what happened. He shouldn’t have drunk so much. He shouldn’t have gone with Yuta. He should have said no.

But he can’t take it back.

He can’t go back in time to fix things.

Or would he be fixing things?

Maybe this was the big man’s master plan. Maybe his life was supposed to go to shit.

He hasn’t been able to forget that time. Staying up because if he slept, he would relive it.

The only thing he could do to forget is what caused this mess in the first place.

He drank… and drank… and drank.

His life was over.

“You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit,” Hongjoong replied to the stranger.

“I hear ya.”

Hongjoong didn’t know what to say after that. It was kind of an awkward silence. The other man turned in his seat to stare at Hongjoong. What did this man want? Why is he being a weirdo? Hongjoong was ready to pull his knife out honestly. He kept looking at the half-empty cup in his hand.

“What happened to ya kid?” Hongjoong was silent.

“What if I told ya I can make your life better?”

“Look, can you shut the fuck up? Also, you look like you’re one step away from death and I’d rather not wake up next to a naked dead body, so if you can just not?” The man laughed at that.

“I like you kid.”

“Mmm please don’t.”

The man only got closer. “Look, I wanna show you something.”

“And I need you to back up.”

“Trust me, kid.”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

The man pulled out a dagger and aimed to press it to Hongjoong’s neck. “Look kid, this is the last time I’m gonna say it. Come with me.”

Hongjoong pulled out his knife and pressed it to his neck. “And this is the last I’ll say this. No.”

The two glared at each other without moving. They were waiting for the other’s next move, nerves on high alert. Suddenly, the man laughed. Laughed? Oh, he was more than crazy.

“You’re funny! You’re perfect.”

Hongjoong was so confused. He wasn’t about to let this random drag him to whatever hellhole and take advantage of him. What were his real intentions?

“You wanna be a pirate?”

“And be a part of your crew? I’m not that desperate, you’re a terrible pirate. Exposing yourself to a stranger like that-”

“You don’t look important and you do look desperate. Just…think about it. Me and my crew are on the way to find some real gold. You look like you want to forget something. This journey can help.”

Hongjoong still didn’t trust him. Also, looking for treasure. HA, please. Everyone knows that finding treasure is just a child’s game. It’s a waste of time and will only lead someone to their death. But Hongjoong was a bit curious. Was it worth the risk? If the guy was actually just leading Hongjoong to bed then he could just kill him, right? And if he was telling the truth then Hongjoong can leave his life behind, and forget everything that’s happened.

Eventually, Hongjoong put down the knife and went to follow the old man. He was led to a ship and was slightly amazed at the size. It was bigger than Chan’s ship. It was beautiful and he can only wonder if the man stole it.

More than likely, he did.

The men stepped onto the ship and there were a few crew members still on board. He was a little suspicious of the mood on the ship. Some of the guys looked like they were on their deathbeds. For others, he could tell if they were drunk or not. He set his gaze on the most beautiful man on the ship. Black hair, sharp eyebrows, and features, plump lips. He didn’t belong in this crew. He can’t be a pirate. This was a joke right?

He was snapped out of his head when someone bumped into his shoulder. He turned to see a giant. The man looked back and mouthed something.

“Leave.”

Leave? What was going on? Before he could ask him, the guy already rushed off to where he was going.

What did he get himself into?

Well whatever was going on here, maybe he can die faster. Better than drinking his life away.

“Well kid, welcome to hell. You’re gonna love it.”

Shit.

tag you’re it: @felixtok @sunnytaes @burningupp  @honeyvocalhwang @bunnypig18

#seongjoong #kim hongjoong fic #ateez au #clownracha monthly prompts recs #pirate ateez #pirateez #ateez flashback #flashback #ateez fanfic #chan and felix cameo #Also yuta’s here #I’m sorry #stray kids cameo #Nct cameo #Oh this is terrible… probably

[hwatermelonsuga]

Fool's Gold: ii. First Night Back in Port

° Series Masterlist

° genre: pirate au, pirateez

° word count: 1.4k

° warnings: language, alcohol (seriously, these men might be alcoholics), insecurities, masculinity, men.. simple as that

° pairing: seongjoong

° summary: Set in the Golden Age of Piracy, join Hongjoong and his crew on a quest to find Captain Avery's hidden treasure as they come across traitors, lies, and a tyrant for a king.

“Now, treasure is ticklish work; I don’t like treasure voyages on any account….” -Captain Smollett, Treasure Island

“Captain,” one of the crew members called as they knocked at his office door. “We’re here.”

Hongjoong put down the letters he was reading and followed the member. Looking out, he saw the familiar busy port. It was dusk as lights were showing others the way to shore. 

“Finally home.”

After about a week at sea, the men were finally at a place where they belonged. A place that felt like home. A place that was home. Misfit Island, a town of outsiders, thieves, and pirates. This is the place where they all come. A place that’s free of judgment and laws and bullshit. 

No one really knows the origins of the island. Most just know that a group of pirates were fleeing to avoid execution and decided to live there. They stole a lot of supplies and materials that helped them survive and here it is centuries later. 

Hongjoong looked around and saw everyone getting to work. Seonghwa and Yeosang ordered people around to get supplies and men in the right place. Yunho directed his mate to keep the ship steady and on the right path. Mingi and San had their small team put away the ammo that was somehow on the deck. Wooyoung and Jongho were nowhere to be seen on the deck, but he was sure that they were doing their jobs. 

The ship was directed to a certain spot and Yunho directed everyone. The sails were down and the anchor was dropped. People rushed everywhere. Some were going around the ship to see what needs to be fixed, some were headed off the ship with empty barrels. Hongjoong was joined by Seonghwa as they walked off the ship. 

“What's the first order of business?”

“Well,” Hongjoong sighed. “First thing is, to get a fucking drink and some food.” And with that, the two headed to their favorite tavern, Dead Kings Tavern. 

The place was lively as the pianist played tunes and drunken sailors sang along, not really knowing the lyrics. The workers served drinks and kicked out rowdy customers. The air smelled of rum and musk, but alas, it was home. They got seats at the bar and ordered their usual. Once in a while, people came up to congratulate Hongjoong. Somehow the word spread fast that he was a captain and beat Jones in a battle. 

No one really liked Jones. 

“Congrats Captain Joong!”

“I feel like you’re the person for the job.”

“Watch out for the sirens, they took my leg trying to kill me. Sure they wouldn’t mind taking that other eye of yours.”

“Now that you’re captain, I’m sure all the ladies are over you.” Hongjoong has to laugh at that one. No woman was willing to date a pirate unless either she’s crazy or she found someone who’s charming and dateable. Even then, Hongjoong has his eyes set on someone already. 

Other men came up to Hongjoong to give him more useless advice on being a captain. He really didn’t need it but he knew he couldn’t really stop the drunk men from talking on and on. Seonghwa only watched in amusement as the man was starting to get annoyed at the constant interruptions. 

“You know, they’re only trying to help. They all love you here. Well, at least most like you better than Jones.”

“That or they’re trying to test me.”

“Calm down Joong! I doubt it.”

“No, no. I’m sure at least half of these pinheads are trying to take my crew. Maybe even my ship, but I’m not letting that happen-”

“You’re being paranoid.”

“No, I’m not!”

Seonghwa sighed. “Alright, say that they are trying to take everyone and the ship, what are you planning to do?”

Hongjoong paused for a bit, chugging the drink in his hand. What would he do? He cant’ fight everyone… well he could, but that’d be a waste of time. He’d have to intimidate them or something like that. He has to prove that he’s capable, that they’re not weak. 

…

He had nothing.

“Let me get back to you on that later.”

Seonghwa laughed at him. He knew he didn’t have an idea, especially with them just getting back and being exhausted from the trip.

“Capt’n Joong,” someone yelled, running into the tavern. At first, everyone looked at the man but then went back to what they were doing. Hongjoong and Seonghwa looked back to see it was one of his crew members.

“What’s going on?”

“Someone tried taking the barrels of rum… and the gunpowder.”

“Really,” Hongjoong huffed and with that they all ran out. 

~~~~~~~~

“That was a disaster,” Mingi sighed. The inner circle joined each other in Dead Kings Tavern. 

“Yeah, well at least we got everything back.”

“NOT EVERYTHING! They took my ring,” San pouted.

“Eh, it was fake,” Yeosang told him.

Hongjoong slowly walked to the crew. He felt it was his fault that someone tried to steal from them. Even since he took over as captain, the crew’s been vulnerable. Sure everyone knew him already, but Hongjoong felt that they all still had to get used to a new leader. So because of that, they haven’t been as secure as they were (well as secure as they could be under Jones). 

“Joong, it’s not on you. I hope you know that,” Yunho whispered to him. Hongjoong looked over to him with a confused look.

“What are you talking about?”

“I can see it on your face. Don’t blame yourself for something that happens almost hourly here. Take a breather and enjoy the time we have here.” Hongjoong nodded and paid attention to his food. Even with Yunho’s words, Hongjoong was still in his head. Sure this incident wasn’t on him, but this just shows to others that he doesn’t have full control. That he’s a rookie that’ll fail before the month is over with.

The guys fooled around and laughed as Hongjoong was in his bubble. They noticed that he was a bit distant but they figured that he’d be okay. 

“Did you hear about Laney’s crew?”

“No, what happened?” Hongjoong overheard the men next to their table and couldn’t help but tune in. 

“They tried finding Avery’s treasure, but no one’s heard from them since.”

“When did they go out?”

“It’s been a few weeks, I think.”

“Well, there goes another bunch. When will they learn?”

“I mean, it might be worth it. I hear that it’s a lot.”

“Yeah, well I still wouldn’t risk it.”

“Captain,” someone tried to grab his attention.

“Huh,” Hongjoong snapped out of it and turned his attention back to the people in front of him. They chuckled a bit as they noticed their leader being nosy. 

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt to actually go on this hunt,” San brought it up again.

“No, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we’re not doing it! End of discussion.”

Wooyoung huffed at that as he also wanted to find Avery’s treasure. “Come on Joong! Isn’t this the reason why we all became pirates? For the adventure? The freedom?”

“Don’t know about you but I was kidnapped,” Mingi spoke up.

“Same for me,” San also spoke up. Wooyoung gave them a look. They really weren’t helping his case.

“Ok, well for one we didn’t kidnap you two,” Seonghwa started. “San, you came because you got lost and just so happened to walk on our ship before we left. And Mingi… actually you were, but I’m putting that on Jones.” 

“I joined for the adventure,” Jongho raised his hand.

“THANK YOU!” Wooyoung had a bright smile on his face as he thought that he had someone on his side.

“But actually, I just needed money… and a home…” He finished off, causing Wooyoung to huff. 

“WELL WHATEVER! Just.. think about it Joong! If there is a treasure, we’d be rich! Set for life I tell ya.”

The two had a stare-down and it looked like neither was going to give up. The rest of the men looked at Wooyoung and Hongjoong. Who was going to look away first? A blink? They all knew Hongjoong wasn’t going to back down. Honestly, he had no choice. If he showed any sign of weakness, he’d be done for. Every wannabe captain would rush to take his place. 

The tension was broken with Hongjoong’s words. “I said no.”

And that was that.

tag you're it: @felixtok @sunnytaes @burningupp @honeyvocalhwang @bunnypig18

#ateez #ateez au #kim hongjoong fic #ateez fanfic #clownracha monthly prompts recs #seongjoong #pirateez #pirate ateez #hongjoong x seonghwa #seonghwa #hongjoong

[hwatermelonsuga]

Fool's Gold: v. My Way

° Series Masterlist

° genre: pirate au, pirateez

° word count: 1.1k

° warnings: language, a bit of angst I guess

° pairing: seongjoong

° summary: Set in the Golden Age of Piracy, join Hongjoong and his crew on a quest to find Captain Avery’s hidden treasure as they come across traitors, lies, and a tyrant for a king.

“We want that treasure, and we’ll have it—that’s our point!” - Long John Silver, Treasure Island

Everyone left the ship and took the prisoners with them. As they departed, someone shot the cannon to sink the ship. 

Hearts were racing as everything settled. People went back to minding their business and doing their jobs, except for Seonghwa. 

He followed Hongjoong to his office and slammed the door shut. 

“Hey watch out for tha-“

“What was that out there?”

Hongjoong raised a brow. “What are you talking about?”

“That out there. The guy who said he was a spy for King Reginald. Who even is that?”

Hongjoong sighed. He really didn’t want to get into this. No one needed to know about the deal. 

“Don’t worry about it. The guy’s dead and anyone alive won’t be able to tell anyone. We’re fine. And don’t worry about who that is.”

“I mean, I feel like I should, especially if he probably wants to kill you! What are you not telling me?” Seonghwa crossed his arms. 

He wasn’t going to drop it, Hongjoong knew this. He’s stubborn but means well. There’s a reason why he’s his first mate… besides their relations but that’s another conversation. Hongjoong got up from his seat on the desk and walked up to the man. He laid both his hands on Seonghwa’s biceps. 

“Hongjoong!”

“Hwa, don’t worry about it. No one’s gonna kill me. I’ll be damned if I let ‘em. I just want you to focus on the crew. That’s your job.”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes at that. Hongjoong thought that he finally dropped it and went in to kiss his cheek. Before he could, Seonghwa pushed him back and shrugged his hands off. 

“Hongjoong… my job is not just focusing on the crew. I’m here to make sure you don’t get yourself into some shit. Which, if you haven’t figured it out, can also affect us.”

“Hwa, the crew will be fine. Just forget this happened and leave this to me.”

“No Joong! Just tell me what’s going on.”

It was silent. The two stared at each other, neither backing down. 

Seonghwa didn’t care if Hongjoong was the captain. He needed to tell him what was going on, because if it’s something that will get him in trouble then they needed to prepare. 

On the other hand, Hongjoong needed to keep his secret. He didn’t want everyone to be tangled in his mess. He already dragged them out to chase something that probably doesn’t exist. He’s already taking the risk of his men dying for nothing. Matter of fact, dying for a corrupt king. Sure, there were some who did want to go because of the rumors, but that’s different. Going for someone that they hate, someone who wants them dead… yeah, no. That’s not going to fly. 

Seonghwa could see in his eyes how desperate Hongjoong was for the subject to drop. For Seonghwa to pretend that this conversation didn’t happen and to go back and check on everyone. However, he wasn’t backing down. Hongjoong needed to know that Seonghwa only wanted to help. 

The staring continued for a while. Hongjoong with a slightly desperate look and Seonghwa with a hardened look. 

One of them was going to have to lose. 

And this time it was Hongjoong.

“Hwa, please. Just let it go. If I get the chance, I’ll let you know.”

Seonghwa didn’t want to accept that. He needed to know, but he guessed he trusted the man. He had to. 

And maybe it isn’t as bad as it seems. Maybe Hongjoong is keeping it from them for a good reason. 

Hopefully…

Seonghwa huffed and rolled his eyes. Hongjoong grabbed him by the waist and pulled him closer. Hongjoong went in again for a kiss, but Seonghwa pushed him away and went to leave the room.

“Hwa, don’t be like that.” He didn’t reply back. Not even to start their usual funny banter. 

He left, just like that. Not even looking back. 

Hongjoong had to fix this.

“It has to be later,” he thought. Seonghwa was only going to be mad for now and eventually forgive Hongjoong. He was just being dramatic. They were going to be okay. 

Hopefully.. 

As Hongjoong somewhat sulked in his office, the rest of the crew were out on the deck. The sun was setting and everyone had to settle from the excitement that happened with the stalker ship. 

Some were helping Yunho with the navigation and others were waiting until Wooyoung finished what they were eating, which wasn’t much. It was kind of hard to find things to eat that wouldn’t spoil that quickly. He had to work with what he had. 

The crew were having a good time, much of a contrast between them and their captain. Laughter filled the air as the men shared songs and stories. Along with that, San brought out his flute and Yeosang brought out his ukulele. They played a random tune that had a lot of the pirates dancing on the deck. There were good vibes all around. 

Near a less crowded part of the ship sat a few pirates around a lantern. They were having a casual conversation mainly about the events that happened that day. 

“Have you guys noticed Seonghwa’s face?”

“Uh yeah, every day actually. That man is so-”

“I don’t mean that Will-”

“No, no keep going Will. You have a point. Honestly, I don’t understand how he looks like that, and we look like we just crawled out of a dump. I mean I don’t mind though. I swear every time I see him, my day just gets better.”

“BULL! SHUT UP! Anyway, I’m talking about after Captain Joong killed that guy. He seemed angry… I don’t know.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it Doug. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Man, I don’t know. They’ve been friends for a while though. I mean Seonghwa was the one to make sure the Captain got to be.. well the captain.”

“Wait… how did they even meet? Actually I don’t even know the backstory of the inner circle or whatever they’re called.”

“Wait, you call them the inner circle?”

“Well yeah… they’re always together-”

“Well no shit Bull, they all are above us. Of course they’ll talk.”

“Whatever Doug. Anyway, does anyone actually know about their stories?”

“Well I know a bit about Jongho and San.”

“Well duh, San’s a dumbass and got lost. Jongho was kidnapped.”

“Well there’s more than that,” Jongho interjected as he walked over to the group. 

The men all jumped at his sudden appearance. Some of them looked scared as they thought he would go to the captain, or worse… he’d kick their asses. 

But the opposite happened. 

Jongho sat down and looked at the men one by one. 

“Who’s ready for a tale?”

tag you’re it: @felixtok @sunnytaes @burningupp @honeyvocalhwang@bunnypig18

#ateez #ateez au #kim hongjoong fic #ateez fanfic #clownracha monthly prompts recs #seongjoong #pirateez #pirate ateez #guess who's story will be told first #kind of a short chapter but o well

[hwatermelonsuga]

Fool's Gold: Pirate Facts!

° Series Masterlist

A/N: So I've decided to start posting facts whether it's about the story or about actual pirates. Might as well since I took a whole literature class about pirates. Finally, my useless knowledge is being used.

⚓︎ Grog- it's two things, but in this case, it's basically spirits mixed with water. Usually rum is used (so really just diluted rum) and it was introduced in 1740s. It's actually not that bad of a drink. Here's a recipe if you want to try it (21+ only obviously).

⚓︎ The visuals that I'm using for looks is Don't Stop mv.

⚓︎ The roles that were revealed/hinted at:

Hongjoong- Captain

-sometimes captains are actually voted (relying mostly on charisma and abilities)

-some cases, captains were about the same level of authority as any other pirate on board, except during a battle

Seonghwa- Quartermaster/First Mate

-these roles are essentially the same (sometimes a crew may not have a quartermaster)

-quartermasters are the second in command (depending on the ship) and are basically distributors (decide who gets what in terms of prizes and rations and such)

-they also handle punishments (captain orders it, quartermaster administers it)

-first mate is someone who's picked as the second in command

Yunho- Sailing/Pilot Master

-pilot: steers the ship

-usually master pilots work with the navigator and captain to pilot the ship

-gives orders in terms of steering and making sure the ship doesn't crash

-in this case, Yunho is also a master navigator and knows the sea like the back of his hand (obviously has help)

Yeosang- Boatswain

-for pirates, a boatswain (or bos'n) can be fourth mate; kind of like a general manager

-responsible for running the ship and making sure everything's in order

-with a large crew, a boatswain is under the quartermaster

Wooyoung- Cook/Carpenter

-carpenter: carpentry and were highly valued

-if there isn't a medic on board, carpenters usually are the ones to do amputations (which makes sense)

-cooks: butchers that had little training

-sometimes the cook can be a random person in the crew who was assigned to the galley to cook food

Mingi- Master Gunner

-gunners are skilled men who aimed the guns/cannons and took care of the artillery

-very valuable

-master gunner is the person in charge on the guns

San- Gunner's Mate

-assists the master gunner

-also skilled and valued on board

Jongho- Cabin boy

-basically an errand boy

-usually a young boy

-runs messages and errands

-in this story, he also occasionally helps Yunho and Yeosang if needed (can't be an errand boy forever)

⚓︎ There are others in the crew and important or well-known roles that have not been stated are taken up by others.

⚓︎ Captain Avery is an actual pirate.

English pirate in the mid-1690s.

The end of his life is very weird. Some claim that he changed his name and spent all of his money (or maybe not), then he fell sick and died. It's uncertain of where he died.

His crew fled to Madagascar and became tyrants there.

His treasure has never been recovered.

Well, that should be all for facts based on Chapters 1 and 2 of Fool's Gold. And of course you can ask about it and I may be able to answer your questions... maybe...

Sources: A General History of the Pyrates; Roles

tag you're it: @felixtok @sunnytaes @bunnypig18 @burningupp @honeyvocalhwang

#pirate facts #pirate ateez #pirateez #clownracha monthly prompts recs #ateez #kim hongjoong fic #ateez au #seongjoong

[ferrethyun]

Preview: When the moon met the earth

Pairing: Witch! Minho x Moon God! M! Reader

Genre: Acquaintances (?) to lovers, Fluff, Hurt minor comfort <3

Warnings: None that I can think of currently but this will be updated as I write!

Release Date: TBA

This is written as part of Clownrachas monthly prompt challenge! (We got a witch themed bingo sheet hehe) Please lemme know if you have any questions or wanna be added to the tag list! (Also the preview is unedited so if u see a mistake no u dont)

Having the god of the moon in your home was an odd experience and not one many would experience. Minho was sure of that at least. What he wasn’t sure about was how he felt having you watch their every single move. He hadn’t meant to summon you that night; what was supposed to be a simple blessing and offering ritual turned into having the physical manifestation of the moon watching him as he worked his way around the kitchen, spoons stirring pots on their own and herbs flying across the kitchen as Minho used his magic to bring them over. “You have a lovely home, Minho” You mused as you wandered around, opening cupboards and taking a peek as you saw fit. 

“Don’t touch anything, please” Minho replied, voice echoing in the cabinet that he was rifling through, “Felix will have my head if his ingredients are even an inch out of place.” 

“Don’t worry, I won’t touch a thing” Your eyes shimmering as they followed him, marvelling at the iridescent fabric of the skirt he wore as it flowed behind him, “It’s been so long since I’ve been down here. I’m simply a little curious.”

Minho's actions stilled “How long is ‘so long’?” He asked.

“Give or take a few millennia.” You hummed out, taking a seat on one of the bar stools next to the kitchen island. The kitchen fell into silence, the only noises coming from the stove as a pot bubbled away and the kettle next to it began to whistle. Clattering of cups caught your attention, eyes back on Minho as he placed two cups down on the counter and spooned in a few herbs.

“What are you making?” You asked, head tilted with curiosity as you tried to look around the witch.

“Chamomile tea,” Minho responded in a mumble, concentrating on making the two drinks, “It’s good for nerves.”

“But I’m not nervous?” Came your reply, confusion twitching in your brow.

“Never said you were. Besides, I’d imagine a simple herbal tea wouldn’t have much of an effect on a god” Minho sighed, placing one of the cups in front of you.

“You need not be nervous around me, dear starlight,” A soft smile blessing your features as you inhaled the sweet yet fresh scent of the tea, “You’ve been a devoted follower all these years, just like the rest of your family. Do you remember when you were younger?”

His nose scrunched, Minho couldn’t remember much of his childhood; an unfortunate mishap with a memory spell that he had tried when he was seventeen caused most of his childhood memories to disappear. The only things he could really remember were important events and his family “I can’t say that I do.”

He watched as you took a sip of your tea and chuckled into the cup, the sound like gentle wind chimes in his ears “I remember the day you did that memory spell. Very unfortunate mispronunciation was your downfall with that spell, by the way-” Looking into the eyes of the other, mischief danced behind your own, “-When you were seven, your family were preparing to do a full moon ritual, you professed your love for me.”

Minho couldn’t help the scoff that tumbled from his lips “Absolutely not.”

“It's true, you know?” You grinned, “You looked up at me with such awe, turned to your family and started rambling about how much you loved me and that one day you were going to marry me. Of course, I understand at that age what childish words mean and that you only thought of me as ‘the moon’. You’ve been so devout all these years, dear starlight. I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to finally come and see you in person.”

“Please, don’t call me that.” Minho frowned, the cup in his hand suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the world.

“As you wish,” He could hear the way your smile dropped, “I want to get to know you better, Minho. I only have until the full moon till I have to go back; please, at least grant me one wish.”

The words that your mouth shocked Minho. A god asking for a wish? How absurd “What is it?”

“Let me get to know you as more than just one of my followers,” You replied softly, “Let me get to know you as Minho. As one of your coven. I want to know you.”

The following quiet days allowed you time to meet the other members of Minho's coven; what was unusual about the coven is that there seemed to not be one true leader. Instead, the coven was made up of witches from various paths of practices. First there was Christopher, or Chan as he asked to be called, an elemental witch with a particular affinity for fire magic. Then there was Changbin, who identified himself as an eclectic witch. Choosing to incorporate his magic into more mundane tasks such as working out or in his music instead of focusing solely on spells or rituals. 

One evening you met Hyunjin and Felix. The two had faces that could not be easily forgotten, their high cheekbones and sharp eyes reminiscent of pixies. Having come from the same village growing up, the two knew each other very well. Hyunjin explained that while his magic was mostly utilised in divination, he would also consider himself a hedge witch much like Felix was. 

As you spoke to the two, the feeling of something curling round your ankle startled you. Taking a few steps back, you looked down to meet wide black pupils and a mass of orange fur “Soonie!” Felix called out, crouching down to stroke at the cat's head. As he stroked the feline, two more cats came strolling past. You couldn’t help but wonder whose they were and where they had been the past few days; given that you hadn’t left the house at all, it was surprising you hadn’t seen them at all.

“That’s Soonie, Doongie and Dori,” Hyunjin explained, coming to stand at your side, “They’re all Minho’s but only Doongie and Dori are pets. Soonie is his familiar.”

Soonie turned away from Felix as you crouched down, padding over and sniffing at your stretched out hand with curiosity. After a couple seconds, the cat nuzzled its head into your hand, letting out loud purrs that rumbled through the living room. However, the moment of peace was short lived as someone came barreling into the room, tripping on the rug and falling face first to the ground with a loud groan causing the three felines to scatter in different directions “Oh stars! Are you okay?” You gasped out, a mortified look washing over your features. 

The figure on the floor simply responded with a thumbs up in your general direction before letting his hand hit the floor limply “I think I’m just gonna lay here and die now, thanks.” They groaned out into the rug, voice muffled by the fibres.

“Please don’t. No one wants to clean up your dead body today.” Hyunjin deadpanned with crossed arms.

“That’s Jisungie. He’s our healer.” Felix explained, meeting your eyes with a grin. You could swear that his freckles sparkled under the sunlight for a split second “He’s been away on a trip that’s why you haven’t met him yet.”

“Trust me, with how loud he is, you’ll never not know where he is at any given moment.” Hyunjin spoke up, you could see his eyes roll from where he now sat on the sofa.

“Han Jisung, if you do not pick yourself up from that floor right now. So help me gods, I will come in there!” An all too familiar tingle ran up your arms and down your spine at the yelling of Minho. Even though he had referenced multiple gods, he only ever honoured you in his practice; the link that this had created over time made you all too aware of whenever he called upon a god.

“We don’t need any more god's help if we already have one with us though.” A new voice chirped from the doorway. Looking up, you saw that it was Jeongin. You had met him the same day that you had asked to get to know Minho better. Granted, it wasn't a normal introduction, especially when a fox suddenly jumps up in your lap and then jumps back down with a squeak after finally looking up at who he had jumped on. That’s how you learnt that Jeongin was not a witch but instead a shifter, welcomed into the coven just as equally as the rest were despite not being of the same magical affinity. 

Just over Jeongins shoulder, you could make out the face of the last member to the coven, Seungmin. Despite most witches his age having come to find their specialty, he had not. His magic was abundant, to the point anyone could feel it radiating off his body in waves, but it seemed to never get used outside of helping his fellow coven members with simple spells and rituals. Despite his neutral face whenever asked about his magic specialty, it was easy to tell that it was becoming harder and harder to talk about; the frustration mixing into his aura daily slowly beginning to unsettle your brain. 

This had already planted seeds of ideas into your brain, all you needed to do was find a way to initiate the plan that began to formulate “Seungmin,” Your words silencing the hubbub of the room, “Can I talk to you? Alone possibly?”

#admin tea #(preview) #stray kids x male reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids headcanons #witch au #lee know x reader #minho x reader #lee know #lee minho #kpop x male reader #kpop x gender neutral reader #kpop x reader #lee know x male reader #minho x male reader #(WTMMTE) #male reader

[coupsie-daisies]

The Terrifying Ordeal of Being Known | Choi Jongho

Pairing: Choi Jongho x GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Established Relationship

Summary: Jongho subjects Y/N to the terrifying ordeal of being known. They love every second of it.

Word Count: 425

Warnings: Very self indulgent fluff, mentions of food, tiny mention of alcohol, Reader’s gender is not mentioned, no pronouns used, but they are said to have periods

A/N: Maybe cheese is my love language. This is my submission for the first clownracha monthly prompt of 2023. This month’s prompt was Self Indulgence, and when I say I took that to heart, I mean it.

Tags: @dragonofthenorth0726 // @wooyussy // @sunnytaes // @burningupp-replies // @bunnypig18 // @ferrethyun // @tyungun // @brownieracha // @kwanisms // @snow-pegasus

Masterlist

This fanfiction is property of @/hobi-is-golden, reposting on any other platform without explicit permission is prohibited

There are few things more romantic than having someone know you inside and out, know you almost as well as you know yourself. You’d never had that before, not really. And learning everyone’s little quirks, the things that made them the person you fell in love with was exhausting when it wasn’t extended back to you.

But when you met Jongho, that changed. The way you remembered just the right temperature that he liked the room at when he slept mirrored the way he remembered which blanket you liked best when you stayed over at his place. When Jongho started blending your details with his, it was so natural that you almost didn’t notice.

He’d pick up your favorite from the coffee shop that you frequented whenever he came over, and he’d ask for extra cinnamon and an extra shot of espresso when he knew that your period was fucking you over, just like you did. On your best days, when you were feeling satisfied with yourself or brag to him over text, he’d swing by and pick up your favorite sweets from the convenience store as a little prize. You’d only mentioned liking them to him once.

The moment that you realized, the day that it fully sank in that Jongho was the one, was when he brought you brunch while you worked from home – the comfort of his home that is. He knew you never ate in the mornings, that eating too soon after waking up gave you a stomach ache, and that you were working too hard to wait for lunch.

He proudly presented you with a plate of your favorite foods. Pancakes, two sausage patties, a few strawberries, and scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs topped with shredded colby jack cheese. Your favorite cheese to put on eggs. He put down a glass of juice – apple, because you only liked orange juice as a mixer.

You looked at him, your jaw hanging open in awe. When had he taken the time? How had you gotten so lucky?

“It’s all how you like, right?” He asked, looking a little concerned by your reaction as he mentally ran through his little checklist. You absolutely beamed at him.

“It’s absolutely perfect, Jjong. You’re perfect.” You pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his middle from where you were sitting. He giggled.

“You deserve the best.” He mumbled into your hair, pressing a tiny kiss to the top of your head before pointing your attention back to the food in front of you.”

“I already have it.”

#jongho x reader #jongho fanfic #jongho fanfiction #jongho #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #jongho imagine #ateez imagine #atz #ateez #atz x reader #atz reader insert #ateez reader insert #jongho reader insert #ateez x reader fanfic #ateez x reader fanfiction #atz x reader fanfiction #jongho x reader fanfic #jongho x reader fanfiction #ateez x reader imagine #x reader imagine #x reader #reader insert #fanfic #fanfiction #kpop imagine #kpop x reader #kpop reader insert #kpop fanfic