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lauras-collection · 3 years

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beyond being friends | part 8

Harrison Osterfield x Holland!Reader

|| Masterlist || Series Masterlist ||

Summary: What happens when you suddenly realise you’re attracted to your brother’s best friend?

When you and Harrison cross the line between friendship and something more, it makes everything more complicated than the average ‘being more than friends’ relationship. Because he’s your brothers best friend and you’re all living together.

Words: 3k

Warnings: SMUT 18+ (a little oral, like one second [f receiving], fingering, biting [once], a little overstimulation, protected sex), if there’s anything else I should tag let me know!

A/N: Not gonna lie this part is a bit of a hot mess...I hope you like it! 😅

P.S.: I don’t know if the glasses Harrison wears sometimes are prescription glasses, so if they’re not let’s pretend they’re blue light glasses so it makes sense his wearing them before bed ok? ok. :D

Feedback is always appreciated ❤️

“You look happy,” Harry says, his face momentarily freezing on the screen. You can’t keep the smile off your face. There’s no doubt that you’re happy, and the fact that it’s so apparent your brother picks up on it through a FaceTime call and sees the need to mention it? Speaks volumes.

“I am” You grin at him, his eyes squinting a little in playful suspicion.

“Any particular reason?” He raises an eyebrow while shifting his position a bit. It looks like he’s in the apartment Tom and him have been renting for the past months, his arms stretched out in front of him, his chin almost touching the table.

“Wouldn’t you like to know” You can’t tell him, you remind yourself. As much as you would like to share the reason for your happiness you can’t. Not yet.

“I would, actually”

“Not telling ya”

“C’mon! I wanna know what’s going on!” He pouts, giving you his puppy dog eyes. Not working this time mate. You just shake your head. Something pulls Harry’s attention away from the screen and one second later Tom appears next to him.

“Y/N!” Tom’s got a wide grin on his face. You greet him with a smile that’s just as big. It’s been a while since you talked to him. Yes, maybe you’d been avoiding him a little. But how are you supposed to talk to him normally? You’re not good at that. At pretending everything is fine.

“Hi, Tom. You doing okay?” You feel your smile slipping and force it back on your face. You hope your brothers don’t notice the shift in your mood.

“Yeah, filming is going amazingly. How’re things at home?”

“Same old” You know, except for me being in love with your best friend. Of course, you don’t say that. As much as you want to. Your leg starts bouncing with nerves. The longer you talk to Tom the more nervous you get. You hate this. “You’re coming home Thursday, right?” You try to change the subject, afraid of Harry mentioning that something has to be different and then both of them pestering you about it. But now your so aware of the fact that there will only be a couple days left until they’re back home. You’ve been anxious for a while but it gets worse with each day that passes.

The screen freezes again before Tom speaks “We’re so excited. We miss you guys”

“We miss you, too. I can’t wait” While you have to force the words out, they are true. After chatting with the boys for another few minutes you finally say goodbye. It’s almost midnight already, so you use that as an excuse.

When you return to your room, Harrison is already tucked up in bed, scrolling through his phone. When he notices you, he takes off his glasses and puts his phone away.

“You okay?” his brows are slightly furrowed in concern.

“Yeah, but I was just reminded that Tom and Harry are going to be back soon”

Harrison’s expression softens at that. He reaches one of his hands out towards you. “C’mere” he doesn’t have to ask you twice, you walk over to him and take his hand, letting him pull you into his lap. A soft smile appears on his face and his hands find your hips as if they were meant to be there. And with that, all worries fly out the window. It sounds cliche and sappy, but when you’re with Harrison nothing else matters.

You start running your hands over his pecs, then his shoulders. You love touching him, and you won’t be able to do that whenever you want to once Tom and Harry are home. Being close to Harrison and feeling his hands on your hips has the usual effect, a small pout appears on your face. Harrison lifts one eyebrow. "What is it?" His thumbs are drawing small circles on your hip bones, the fabric of your panties the only barrier between you.

“Now I'm horny" You finally whine causing Harrison to throw his head back laughing. "That's not funny! It’s your fault. Why do you have to be so fucking sexy? It’s not fair.” You pout again but Harrison keeps laughing, his hands squeezing your hips gently before he wraps his arms around you completely your chest now flush against his.

"You're adorable, you know that?" You try to shove him a bit but he doesn’t budge.

"I don't wanna be adorable. I want you to do something about it." You roll your hips into his. The amused expression on his face falls as a small groan leaves his lips and you can feel him stir beneath you. "Please?" You push your bottom lip forward and roll your hips again.

“Fuck, baby, you're gonna be the death of me." He grips your hips a little tighter and then, in one swift movement you're underneath him. Your arms automatically wrap around his neck, your hands going into his hair. He starts peppering kisses over your neck making you let out a sigh. You circle your legs around his waist, crossing your ankles you pull him closer

“You really are horny, huh?" Harrison asks, his hot breath hitting the sensitive skin of your neck.

"Mhm." You hum in affirmation.

“You want this?" He rolls his hips into yours, his clothed cock against your heat making you gasp "Want my cock?"

"Yes, Haz” You breath out, "want your cock so bad" At your words Harrison moans and slips his hands under your shirt, softly trailing up your stomach before they find your breasts, his thumbs teasing your nipples. You arch your back, leaning into his touch. Harrison's lips finally find yours in a hot, messy kiss.

Your hands grasp onto the fabric of his shirt, tugging on it until you’re able to pull it over his head. His hands and lips momentarily leaving your body.

As soon as his shirt is gone his lips are back on yours. You can’t get enough of him, his touch, his taste. You run your hands over his naked torso while his mouth is devouring yours. It doesn’t take long for both of you to get rid of the rest of your clothing.

And as much as you’ve gotten used to feeling his naked skin on yours, it still makes you tremble. The feeling of his weight on top of you, his hips pressing into yours, his hard cock between you.

“Need you” You mumble against Harrison’s lips. Why is he still holding out when he knows how desperate you are?

“Turn around for me, baby. " Harrison murmurs against your ear. “On your knees. Ass up." His commanding tone turns you on even more and you're quick to obey. When you're in position, the side of your face pressing into the pillow, you impatiently wait for Harrison to do something.

It's almost unbearable to not be able to see what he's doing. Then you feel his hands on your ass before they move to your waist. Next, his hot breath hits your skin. Harrison places a trail of kisses down your spine, muttering praises against your skin. “So good for me. You're so beautiful, baby." He sinks his teeth into your left ass cheek, just deep enough so you can feel it. "My pretty girl" you gasp, whether that is because of his words or him biting you, you’re not really sure. You don't even have time to think about it because the next thing you know, Harrison runs his tongue through your slick folds. Your moans are dampened by the pillows, so Harrison pulls them away from your face and throws them across the room. "Wanna hear you" He places a sloppy kiss on your cheek, his chest pressing against your back. Suddenly, his finger is on your clit and the unexpected stimulation makes you moan loudly, your pussy clenching around nothing.

"That's it" He keeps circling his finger around the sensitive nub, bringing you to the edge quickly.

"Harrison" You’re almost sobbing now.

"Hm?” Harrison knows you’re about to cum, he's familiar with your body and the way it reacts now. And being the tease that he is, he removes his hand, denying you the orgasm. You let out a whine in protest.

"I know you wanna cum Y/N. But I want you to cum when I'm inside you. Can you do that for me?" He’s panting, his breath hitting the shell of your ear.

You nod quickly and gather your thoughts enough to say, "Harrison. Please. I can't take your teasing any longer."

"I got you" He places a kiss on your shoulder blade, then you hear a condom wrapper crinkle. You groan when, instead of finally sliding into you, he teases your clit with the head of his cock.

“Harrison!” Your voice is muffled by the mattress, but your whine is clearly distinguishable. You feel Harrison’s chest rumble against your back as he chuckles. Then he lifts himself up, one of his hands gripping your hips, pulling them back up a bit.

And then he finally pushes into you. You both moan at the feeling. Your legs spread wider, slipping on the mattress but it doesn’t really matter because the next thing you know Harrison starts thrusting into you, his hands supporting his weight by the sides of your head. It feels so good you’re not even embarrassed about drooling a little onto the mattress. You try your best to meet his thrusts, but you can’t keep up with his pace, so you give up after a while. Harrison’s cock strokes against your g-spot with every thrust and your pussy is already clenching around him. You’ve been worked up all day. You won’t last long.

“Ha-“ You can’t even form words anymore.

“You gonna cum for me, Y/N?” Harrison presses out between his teeth. “Want to feel you cum around me”

A few more thrusts and his wish is granted. With a guttural moan, you’re hit with your orgasm.

“That’s it. Fuck. You feel so good.” Harrison keeps fucking you through your orgasm. All you can do is lie there, arms spread out as you try to come down from your high.

But then he’s pulling up your hips again.

“You got one more in you?” He doesn’t give you time to answer, you wouldn’t be able to form words anyway. All you can do is push your hips up towards him. He shifts a little, lowering down on his left forearm while his hand finds its way between your legs. His fingers start drawing circles over your clit, your muscles tensing at the overstimulation, but you can feel the burning sensation in the bottom of your belly again. Your next orgasm building already.

“Okay, c’mon. Want us to cum together.” Harrison’s thrusts slow down, syncing with the movement of his hand. His face is hovering close to yours now and you crane your head a bit to capture his lips, as soon as his tongue delves into your mouth you feel him twitching inside of you, and then suddenly you’re seeing stars.

You have to separate your lips from his, both of you moaning loudly.

When your highs have subsided, Harrison pulls out of you. You turn onto your side and rest your head against his chest once he returns to the bed after he disposed of the condom.

“You okay?” Harrison asks running his hand over your head.

“Yeah,” You let out a feeble chuckle and snuggle a little closer to him, suddenly feeling cold. Harrison leans over to the side of the bed and picks up your blanket that had somehow ended up on the floor. He pulls it over both of you and you let out a sigh. You should probably clean up, maybe take a shower. But you’re too exhausted.

So you relish the feeling of Harrison’s arm tightly around you, the even falling and rising of his chest lulling you to sleep.

***

The next morning you're awoken by the front door falling shut with a loud bang. Harrison stirs beside you and the fact that he's still in bed with you, and is therefore not the one at the front door, makes you sit up quickly. Who could it be? Your parents? Sam? Tuwaine?

But Tom's voice is calling for the two of you the next moment. “Y/N? Haz? You guys home?” You quickly check your phone. Wednesday 11.34am. What was Tom doing here? He and Harry weren’t supposed to be back until tomorrow! You asked them last night!

Both you and Harrison sit up in bed. You’re both still naked.

“Y/N? Harrison?" Now it's Harry calling for you. You quickly reach for a discarded shirt on the floor, grab a fresh pair of underwear and sweatpants from your closet before dashing down the stairs.

The commotion captures your brothers' attention and as soon as Harry sees you he’s rushing over to you, wrapping you in a tight hug.

"I missed you" He mumbles into the crook of your neck. You hug him back just as tightly, patting the curly mob of hair on his head.

"I missed you, too" You breathe in his scent, immediately feeling more at ease. Suddenly, two more arms wrap around you. Now you're sandwiched between your two brothers.

"I'm glad you guys are back," you say when you finally need to pull away so you can breathe properly again. “Though it’s a little unexpected, weren’t you supposed to come home tomorrow?”

“We took an earlier flight.” Tom says “Surprise” And what a surprise it is. He smiles, the crinkles by his eyes appearing. He looks a little tired, but happy nonetheless. You can’t help but smile, too.

“Is that… Harrison’s shirt?” Tom’s eyebrows are creased as he looks at what you’re wearing. You did not pay attention to what shirt you picked up from the floor earlier, so now all of you are staring at the white shirt with the W and the red rose printed on the top left corner that you’ve pulled on. You can hear Harrison come down the stairs behind you. There’s no way you can talk about whether or not to tell Tom right away. And you decide that standing in front of him wearing one of Harrison’s shirt is not the best idea.

“Hm,” You cock your head to the side a bit. “Must’ve accidentally nicked it from the laundry.” You mentally pat yourself on the back for thinking of it so quickly. Harrison visible relaxes, too. “I’ve got a shirt quite similar to this” It’s not even a lie, who doesn’t have a white shirt?

You don’t give Tom and Harry the chance to think about it for much longer “Have you been to mum and dad's already? I'm sure they're gonna be super happy to have you back earlier than expected"

“We haven’t. We wanted to take our stuff home first." Harry says.

“That makes sense” You nod. You need to get them out of the house as quickly as possible. There’s evidence of you and Harrison being more than just friends and roommates all over the house. “Why don’t you guys head over now? I’ve got some things to take care of but I’ll join you in a bit” You force a bright smile onto your face, hoping you can fool them. You notice Harry eyeing your suspiciously from the corner of your eye but decide to ignore it.

“Sounds good. You coming with, Haz?" Tom looks at his best friend who seems a little lost in thought.

"Uh, yeah. I guess." His eyes flicker to yours for just a moment before returning to Tom "Let me just get dressed real quick."

You follow your brothers up the stairs and while they unpack a couple of their things Harrison gently pushes you into your room.

“What’s going on? Why aren’t you coming?” Harrison hisses, closing the room to your door behind him.

You start gathering some of Harrison’s things while answering “We can’t just leave the house like this. If they take one look at my room they’re gonna have a lot of questions.”

Understanding washes over Harrison’s face. “You’re right. How do you want me to handle the situation?” He rests his hands on his hips.

“I don’t know” You let out a sigh, putting some of Harrison’s clothes on your bed. “Just maybe make something up if they ask what I’m doing and… be normal?” It’s more of a question than an answer. Harrison quirks a brow. “I’ll join you in half an hour or so. This shouldn’t take too long.”

With a sigh, Harrison comes over to pull you into his arms. “It’s gonna be okay” He places a kiss on your temple, then you hear a door closing on the floor above you.

You and Harrison quickly leave your room and if you would’ve been only a second slower, Harry would’ve caught you sneaking out of your room with Harrison. Was this what it was going to be like from now on? Or, well, until you tell them.

When the boys are finally on their way to your parents' house you quickly start tidying up the house. All of the shared spaces are quickly tidied up, but your room is a whole different story. You’re pretty sure half of Harrison’s stuff is in here now. There are his glasses on your bedside table, his phone charger next to yours, and a few pages of a script on your desk.

You gather as much of his belongings as you can and take them over to his room. You’re sure there are still some of his clothes in your room, but you doubt your brothers are going to rummage through your closet.

When you’re finally done you let out a breath. You feel slightly better, but clearing your room of the evidence doesn’t mean you and Harrison can leave it at that. You know you need to tell Tom. And now you can’t really put it off any longer. He’s home now.

A/N: Well that escalated quickly... all of it :D sorry if that smut scene was similar to the last one but I wrote this one in October or November and I didn’t want to change it :D Let me know what you think!! ❤️

everything taglist: @spidermanlondon // @duskholland // @tutuabby28 // @missevrythingg // @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh // @thenoddingbunny-blog // @emilykjh // @clara-licht // @hollandfanficlove // @calltothewild // @crybabyalexxx // @hazardosterfield // @calsthomas // @quaksonhehe // @strawberrytom // @thirzaholland // @tombrina // @outshineallthestars // @serendipitous-amor // @soincredible // @trustfundparker // @localfangirlx // @writertoo18 // @viagracex // @skamlover200 // @wonderlandfandomkingdom // @wehavetomakeourheartssitstill // @thearchersupremacy // @itstaskeen // @camimndess // @allyz // @technosoot // @fanficscuziranout // @parker-hollandx // @givebuckyhisplumsnow // @dangerouslovefanfic // @ertherealrose // @i-married-a-pineapple // @miraclesoflove // @bi-girlwrites-2000 // @seasidetom // @katcontrreras // * * // @fallingforfics // @destinedbooklover // @parkerpeter24 // @selfcarecap // @moonphoric // @just-a-littlebit-of-everything // @emistrash // @badreputationlove // @turtoix // @haloxmendes // @anjalika03 // @iamsherloki-wholocked // @the-fan-18

bbf taglist: @m-a-r-i-n-t // @mrs-hollandstan // @unicorn-princess-1999 // @mimisparkle12 // @bearsbeetsbarnes // @annathesillyfriend // @sydsquibbles // @vapingisntmything // @littlebookbengal // @quethekillerqueen // @love-makes-all-things-beautiful // @swiftmind // @pearly-pisces // @cocoamoonmalfoy // @parkersharthook // @hotforharrison // @hopeless-romantic-baby // @dreaminsuga // @thefallenbibliophilequote // @wizkiddx // @practicallylivesonline // @minejungwoo // @kenisnothere // @sunsetholland // @messagesinthesky // @robertpattinson-th // @osterfieldvol6 // @bvttercupbby // @gog0juice

harrison osterfield taglist: @hjoficrecs // @lolychu // @hazardosterfield // @hollandbroz-n-haz

series taglist: @softholand // @svturtles // @cloverrover // @goodgirlgonetom // @justafangirlduh // @thegirlwiththediary

#harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield fic #harrison osterfield smut #harrison osterfield series #harrison osterfield x holland!reader #bbf

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lovemeleo · 3 years

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Me without You (Part 2)

Alrighty y'all, it's finally here. Time for Part 2 of Me without You! Though they didn't know it, the discord server helped choose the ending for this one.

Nuny and the SW world belong to the lovely @lumosinlove.

If you haven't read it yet, here's Part 1 and you can read my entire Nuny series here on ao3.

***

It’s been three days since Zhenya left, and Jackson had never felt so lost. Normally at the end of a season, they’d take a breather for a couple days, just chill around the house. Sometimes they’d even go on a road trip. Jackson tended to get inside his head a bit so it was better to be out of the house.

He hadn’t gotten much sleep after his conversation with Zhenya the night before. There was around a 7 hour time difference so they tried to keep the conversations to decent times to not mess up sleep patterns too much, but Zhenya had plans with family the entire day, planning to slowly begin the process of coming out. Instead of his normal afternoon call time, Zhenya called him as soon as he got up which meant Jackson didn’t get to sleep until around 1am.

Waking up the following morning was a bit rough, his warm bed still calling his name as he dragged himself to the kitchen for coffee. Jackson didn’t want to stay in bed though. Zhenya wasn’t there, so what was the point?

He wasn’t the only one who was not taking Zhenya’s absence well. The cats were confused about their missing dad as well. Loki had climbed up on top of the fridge, waiting for Zhenya to take him down but he never came. Jackson had to get a chair so he could reach the giant cat and help him down. Pumpkin had taken to sleeping on the Russian man’s pillow, and Milo tended to look for him in the shower. Milo and Pumpkin were still sprawled on Zhenya’s side of the bed when he left but Loki trailed after him.

Jackson went to pull down his coffee mug, reaching for Zhenya’s as well before he realized it wasn’t needed. Damn.. maybe this was going to be harder than expected. Setting the Stormtrooper mug back in the cabinet, he filled the cats’ bowls as the coffee brewed. He was even more off-kilter than usual today, anxious for Zhenya who would be going through the difficult steps of coming out to his parents. Jackson remembers how nervous he was when he told his parents, but he was lucky. He had Zhenya next to him.

Maybe he should just fly to Russia.. Just to be safe. What if he needed him? No.. Zhenya said he had to do this by himself. This had been a frequent argument he had with himself since the moment he left the airport.

Today, he was getting out of the house. Smitty had called, asking him if he wanted to come out with him and his kids. He was taking the three to the zoo so Allison could get some rest, and asked if Jackson minded being an extra pair of hands. Eager to get out of the house and see the little munchkins he had very quickly come to love, Jackson said yes.

To be honest, he was pretty sure Zhenya had told Smitty to keep an eye on him.

After a quick shower, Jackson pulled on Zhenya’s hoodie from when he played for the Flames over one of his t-shirts. It was one of Zhenya’s favorite hoodies, worn and soft in all the right places. It was also Jackson’s favorite to steal. He loved that it was big on him and just felt like Zhenya was wrapped all around him.

As he pulled his shoes on, the doorbell went off. His eyebrows furrowed as he glanced up at the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone. When he opened the door, Brady was standing there.

“Hey, man. Thought I’d just pick you up since you’re on the way.” He said with a smile, pulling Jackson in for a hug.

Jackson couldn’t help but lean into the hug, the lack of human interaction obviously getting to him. “Sounds like a plan to me. Thanks.” He grabbed his wallet and keys after pulling away, making sure his phone was tucked into his pockets.

Brady led the way to his car, climbing in the driver's seat, “I appreciate you coming with me. Don’t know that I'd be able to handle all three of these hooligans by myself at the zoo.” He said, glancing back at his kids with a grin.

A chorus of “Uncle Nado!!” came from the backseat, Brady’s youngest cheering from her carseat in the middle. Olivia was born not long after the 2020 season, and was coming up on two years.

“Hello, tiny gremlins!” Jackson said with a laugh, pulling on his seatbelt as Brady started towards the Gryffindor Zoo.

The kids were already bouncing in their seats, rambling over each other as they talked about all the animals they were going to see. Max was excited for the aquarium while Noah just wanted to see the Lions, of course. Olivia’s favorites were the penguins.

“Allison told me they’re allowed one plushy per kid this time.” Brady said with a huff. Jackson couldn’t help but laugh at his friend. Last time they had gone to the zoo, their entire van was filled with plushies. Brady had tried to blame Jackson, and while he had bought them all one or two, Brady was the main culprit.

Getting everyone out of the car was an adventure all its own. They had to bring the double stroller because Olivia spent most of the time in there, as she still got tired easily and while Noah said he was going to walk the whole time like his big brother Max, he usually ended up climbing in the stroller once or twice. Little legs could only carry you so far.

The lions were right in the front when they got in, Noah running as fast as he could to the railing of the exhibit, “Dad, Uncle Nado, Look! They’re just like you!” He said, his face lighting up as he watched the lions prowling.

“Yeah, bud. That one even has long hair like Uncle Nado.” Brady said with a grin, pointing out the male lion with the full mane.

Jackson laughed, leaning on the railing next to them as he held Olivia’s hand, “You’re just mad ‘cause Allison won’t let you grow your hair out.” Brady shoved him, laughing as they carried on throughout the zoo.

They made their way into the aquarium, the kids running ahead a bit to see all the different fish with Jackson and Brady following at a more leisurely pace.

“So…” Brady said, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye.

Jackson let out a huff, “Here it comes…”

Letting out a chuckle, Brady elbowed him in the ribs, “Hey, don’t be a shit. I just wanted to ask how you were doing. It’s been a long couple months for you with your leg, and then with Zhenya being gone.. Just wanted to check.”

“I’m alright.. Leg doesn’t really bother me, been keeping up with my exercises from PT. And Zhenya.. I miss him. It’s only been three days but fuck I miss him.” Jackson replied, tugging on the sleeves of his hoodie as he watched the kids.

Brady squeezed his shoulder, his eyes flickering between his kids and Nado, “That’s normal, Jax. I’d say it would be abnormal if you didn’t miss him.”

A shriek from Olivia had both their heads whipping in her direction, but it seemed to be one of delight. Her face lit up as a turtle swam past the window again. Both men let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“I know it’s normal. I just- I just wish I could be there for him, y’know? It was hard enough for me to come out to my folks, and I knew they would be supportive. He doesn’t have that luxury, that knowing.” Jackson said with a sigh, his hand absentmindedly checking that his phone was in his pocket.

Brady let out a soft sigh as he nodded, “It sucks, it really does but no matter what happens, he knows he has you. He’s got the team. We’re all here for him.”

Jackson could only nod, a shaky breath falling from his lips as they reached the end of the aquarium. Olivia ran back to him as quickly as her little legs would take her, automatically reaching up to him. “Up? Up please?” She said, puppy dog eyes in full effect.

As if he could say no to that face. Jackson quickly swooped her up, setting her on his hip as they carried on. After a couple hours of walking around, they stopped at one of the restaurants to grab something to eat.

“We still have to see Liv’s penguins, Dad.” Noah pointed out as he ate a couple of his french fries, a map of the zoo in between himself and Max.

Brady was already nodding as he wiped up Olivia’s face, sauce from her pizza smeared across her chubby cheeks, “We’re not gonna miss the penguins.” Jackson couldn’t help the fond smile as he watched his friend with his kids. He always enjoyed watching their family dynamic, and just being with them. Normally Zhenya would be there too, throwing the boys over his shoulders and running around with them or letting Olivia play with his hair.

Damn, Jackson missed him.

And then, as if he knew Jackson’s phone went off with Zhenya’s ringtone. It was the Imperial March from Star Wars, and it had been his ringtone for as long as Jackson could remember. Brady shooed him off as soon as he heard the ringtone, reassuring Jackson that he could handle his own kids for a little bit.

Stepping out of the restaurant, Jackson quickly answered the phone, a smile spreading on his face, “Hey baby, I was just thinkin-”

His smile dropped as he was cut off by a sob from the other end of the line.

“Zhenya? Babe? What’s wrong? You gotta talk to me, baby, you’re scaring me.” Jackson pleaded, his heart feeling as though it was shattering at the sound of his boyfriend falling apart.

His breathing was ragged as Zhenya let out another sob before he finally was able to get it out: “T-They kick me out. M-My Mama and Papa, they kick me out.”

#nuny #nuny series #lumosinlove #sweater weather #jackson nadeau #evgeni kuznetsov #brady smith #smitty #kuny #nado #zhenya #fic #fic writing #coming out

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dennou-translations · 3 years

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Violet Evergarden Ever After: Chapter 2

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The Night and the Auto-Memories Doll

Everything went around.

From past to present and from present to future. The dead bodies that decayed within the soil would dissolve into the earth, and from the earth, too, would new living creatures be born. Within a few hours’ time, curtains made of stars and nightly shades would be covered over by curtains in the colors of dawn.

People went around as well.

Children would be born, muster out their voices, start walking and, once they became aware of their own selves, their stories would begin. A cycle of discovering passion, coming to know love, stopping to be children and, upon sympathizing with other families, birthing offspring just as their parents had done. A cycle of learning about the world, spreading information, teaching their knowledge to younglings without sparing any of it away and generating more such younglings. A cycle in which someone’s story was someone else’s encouragement, and those who were encouraged would conceive stories of their own.

Everything went around.

There was one cycle here. It was the story of a meager cycle that likely could happen anywhere in the world.

A man picked up a wild beast from a small island to which he had drifted. It was a beautiful beast, but it had been stocked with skills long before coming to his hands. Skills for slaughtering people with ease and seeking submission.

Their first meeting was terrible. His underling had attempted to lay his hands on the beast’s beauty. As if it were a given, the beast had killed his many subordinates, leaving only one person. That was him. Granting him both disaster and salvation at the same time, the beast had sought subservience in regards to the man.

The man fled around the island where all but himself had been murdered, but gave in and accepted the beast. The beast was useful, but also an existence that he could not handle. Be it morning, noon or night, his head was troubled with the beast, his heart unable to calm down.

Essentially, he was a man who did not want to be shackled by anything. After all, he had a past of being forced into submission by his household and parents. He had escaped from his responsibilities and his home, jumping off into the sea. The man, who had been born in a family that bore the name of a flower, had run away and gained freedom.

He yearned for it – for a freedom that no one could steal from him – more than anything. Even if he had to cast away his little brother for it. Therefore, the man had done the same in the beast’s case. The one who mattered most to him was himself. He wanted to break free from that horror. Most likely, he had cut off from himself a child in need of salvation.

Everything went around.

——O God, I want to .

Everything.

A voice that sounded like bells echoed.

“Captain,” it whispered, as if to tickle the man’s ears. “Captain Dietfried Bougainvillea.”

It was evening. A time when people were returning to their homes.

“What would you like to do?”

An orange light shone from the window inlaid with stained glass. With the sunset reflected on the elaborately designed interior decoration, the place itself looked like a single work of art.

“Could it be that, because of the impact earlier, your hearing has...”

It was supposed to be. The place where the person who called out so insistently and the person who intentionally ignored her were in was an art gallery that just recently had its interior and exterior finished.

“As if.”

“I am relieved. Then, I would like to ask if you have a plan.”

In a place they were not supposed to be at, the two who were not supposed to be together were kneeling on the floor in resignation.

“Captain.”

“.............................”

“The civilians are in a predicament.”

“................................”

“Captain Dietfried Bougainvillea.”

“............”

“What would you like to do?”

“..................”

“I would like to ask if you have a plan, by any chance.”

“.....................”

“The civilians are in a predicament.”

“........................”

“If I may offer my opinion, firstly, I could act as a decoy—”

“Be quiet, monster. Don’t keep repeating the same thing over and over. Don’t breathe either. I’m thinking right now.”

Dietfried Bougainvillea, a naval captain of Leidenschaftlich, eldest son of the Bougainvillea – a household of patriotic national heroes – and the man who had picked up Violet Evergarden in the past and brought her to this country, was covering his eyes with his hands due to having too much on his plate. The little bit of silence and darkness had brought him relief, but someone’s sobbing, the voice of a man reproaching it and the sound of a person being brutally kicked and tumbling down dragged him back to reality.

He had a severe headache. Whether it was caused by his anxiety or his injury, he had no idea. He put a hand on the back of his head and examined it, but only a bit of blood had come out.

In order to somehow spit such awful mood out of his body, he took deep breaths. He felt that he had become a little better, but the unpleasant sensation returned once he opened his eyes and cast his gaze at the woman next to him. A spoon of discomfort, rejection and fear each was thrown into Dietfried’s emotional vessels, set on fire and boiled up. However, the most prominent feeling was something else.

The woman who had been talking to him so insistently until a moment ago was now quiet just and not letting out a single breath as he had told her. Violet Evergarden.

Dietfried looked fixatedly at his former servant. The woman, whose appearance had transfigured considerably in comparison to when they had first met, bore a radiantly shining cold beauty, which was even more conspicuous under such tense circumstances. She was almost like an ice sculpture, Dietfried thought.

——Even though you used to stink like a wild beast...

She now smelled of nothing but flowers.

——...you turned out just as I’d imagined.

“You’re a siren.”

Silence.

“My little brother destroyed a train station just to keep you alive; you’re a siren through and through. I’m not into you, but my mental stability is wrecked right now, and I’m sensing the harmfulness and influence that your existence brings about in that. You’re unmatched when it comes to breaking things and causing problems.”

Dietfried had once told his brother that the beast could become a siren. He had meant to say so including all sorts of matters. This young woman named Violet was a creature that God had created by mistake and had not been born under a good star. When one was by her side, there were many of them.

“Damn troublemaker.”

Many problems. Even though she had not wished for it, she had been born this way. Under a star that attracted disasters.

——It goes round. All of it.

He ran and ran from her, yet they would end up meeting, thus Dietfried had started to think that it might be some sort of divine revelation at this point. Telling him to face the girl that he had thrown away.

Violet was still, hand on her brooch. He someway guessed that it was given to her by his younger brother. He felt like clicking his tongue. This girl might become the worst-ever wife whose hand his most beloved little brother was going to take.

——We can leave that for later; gotta overthrow this situation first.

Determined to fight this reality, Dietfried then turned his gaze towards the sight that spread out before his eyes. Women, men, elderly people – everyone was crouching on the floor with guns pointed at them regardless of anything. Obviously, the same applied to Dietfried and Violet.

Unexpected situations – situations in which they could not make a false move even if they were on their own, let alone in the presence of so many civilians – were responsible for this. On top of it, Dietfried was also saddled with someone that he had to protect despite not wanting to. Of course he would feel like clicking his tongue at it.

Perhaps they were thought to be lovers, as no one said anything even while they stayed close to each other.

“Hey, did you really stop breathing?”

She did not seem to be in agony, but her figure as she diligently obeyed made Dietfried feel uneasy.

“I was joking; breathe.”

Violet’s blue eyes blinked with a snap.

“Yes.”

And then, she finally let out a breath. Dietfried hated himself for being remotely relieved that she had safely started breathing again, was what he thought.

“Hey, you.”

“Yes.”

“From now on, follow my orders. Don’t act on your own accord.”

“All right.”

“I’m gonna save the civilians. It’s my duty. There’s no helping it, so I’m counting you in that math too... No idea what my little brother would do if he found out I’d let you die. Even if it weren’t on purpose, if anything that could kill you happened under these circumstances, I really have no way of knowing what he’d do. He’d probably hate me.”

“No, Captain, he—”

“Have some self-awareness, Monster. My foolish younger brother blew up a train station to let you live. This fact did turn into a subject of teasing towards Gil for no matter how much time passes from now, but if you think about it on normal terms, it’s out of the ordinary. That’s the way you’ve changed him. Damn witch...”

She was the tool that he had found and that used to exist for his sake. A woman who used to be a dog with no name. An orphan whom he had picked up from a solitary island, brought back with him, attempted to get the most out of yet was unable to, and then threw away.

Asset. Girl soldier. Automatic assassination doll. Witch.

——Even if I don’t want to, for now, I gotta protect this thing and take it home.

“I’ll save you, so you save me too, Witch.”

Fate went around, adding a chance meeting as the best seasoning for a finishing touch. After all, at this very moment, Violet Evergarden and Dietfried Bougainvillea were being attacked by robbers and had weapons thrust at them.

“That’s awfully unpleasant for me, but I’ll take action by considering your life to be the top priority. Not for you. For my little brother.”

Understanding that she had received permission to talk once she had received permission to breathe, Violet gave her own opinion, “No.” She did it directly, without any restraint. “No, that is my job, Captain. Major... Lord Gilbert loves you.”

Dietfried’s eyes blinked. Those green orbs were staring fixatedly at Violet since earlier, enough to seem like they would suck her in. They were green jewels in a different shade from his younger brother’s. Those green gems, enveloped in shock, reflected Violet’s serious gaze.

“I shall guard you, no matter what happens,” Violet declared with resolution, like a knight. “I will obey your orders to the best of my abilities, but if I judge it to be dangerous, I shall take action with your safeguarding as the maximum priority.”

“Hey.”

“I will definitely protect you and bring you to Major safely. Please do not leave my side, Captain.”

“That’s my line,” Dietfried said while nonetheless wanting to kill Violet.

For the exchange between the two to reach this stage, things had first begun when morning visited Leidenschaftlich. This might be going back much too far in time for a clarification, but it all had indeed started since daybreak.

The morning weather was overflowing with sunlight on that day – typical of Leidenschaftlich in early summer. Early rising ladies formed queues in the bakeries that opened at dawn and little birds flew about the shops’ surroundings to receive breadcrumbs. There was a café three stores away from one of the popular bakeries, famous for serving floral teas, its signboard girl preparing to open it. If one went further ahead, there was a bank, and round said bank, there was a main street lined with large-scale shops.

An art gallery arranged to open the next day had been erected on the main street. Its name was Artemisia. It bore the name of its owner, who was an artist.

The gallery Artemisia displayed the works of its proprietor, of course, but it also had works of artists from within and abroad Leidenschaftlich. There were rows of works from unknown young artists that the owner had taken interest in as well, devoted as she was to the cultivation of new talents.

The Artemisia Gallery, which was to become a place where novel forms of Leidenschaftlich’s art would be born, was scheduled to hold a pre-opening party today, attended only by the people concerned. The gallery’s staff had started cleaning its interior and the sidewalk in front of it from morning.

Around noon, a restaurant employee hired for the sake of that day had visited, bringing in wine, snacks and table sets. As for the dishes, there were two types: the ones that had already been prepared and the ones that would be made by borrowing the kitchen of the owner’s residence, which had been built on the gallery’s top floor. Since eating was not the main focus, the preparations were merely enough for the upcoming guests not to feel hungry.

As evening came, the inside of Artemisia began to speed up with haste. If there were anyone in command of such a scenery, they would likely be asserting with a baton: “hurry”, “faster”, “elegantly”.

An envelope closed with a wax seal bearing the establishment’s crest. Customers arrived one after another with the invitation taken from inside of it at hand. For a pre-opening party with a limited number of invitees, there was a large amount of people. The elect few of Artemisia’s employees were in a flurry of activity.

“Bring me a coat” here, “not enough drinks” there, a plate breaking somewhere. “Where’s the owner?”, “Got caught by the guests”. “There’s no one to give us instructions”, “Oh, well” – just like this, things descended into chaos behind the scenes.

Normally, their job was to calmly recommend artistic goods. Therefore, they were unable to hide their bewilderment at handling so many visitors at first. Nevertheless, if one looked at the guests being entertained, how were they? Appreciating the artworks, looking like they were having a blast. Upon seeing this, the employees were able to understand deep down. That “what, so things are the same as usual”. By the time that the customers were completely familiar with the gallery’s interior, the employees were able to show smiles with a little bit of ease.

Among the guests invited to Artemisia, a foreign body completely unrelated to this world was mixed in.

It was a woman. A beautiful one at that. From an appreciative viewpoint, there would be nothing to complain about if she were one of the artworks. She was clad in a ribbon-tie one-piece dress, snow-white as a flower in full bloom on a summer day. Her long, softly curved golden hair extended to her waist. Perhaps she had come straight from work, as she held a heavy-looking trolley bag on one hand. “Click, click,” knocked her cocoa-brown boots against the marble flooring each time she took a step.

She walked while observing every artwork one by one. Idyllic landscape paintings, abstract paintings that looked like silver ink spilled on pure-white paper, oil paintings in which the people seemed as if they would move at any moment. Glassworks and ceramics that one would be very afraid even to look at from nearby. At first, the exhibition was of works from artists renowned within the country, but the small hall of its latter half integrated displays from artists who were still nameless. The woman stopped in front of one such work.

A painting of whimsical fantasy. Was it a winter sea? It depicted various things falling and sinking into dark and cold water. A pocket watch, a feather, a bed, a knife, a white flower and a chair. All were worn-out and had damaged parts. At first glance, one would not know what it was expressing. Only the boy painted in the center seemed to pierce through the viewer.

He was still a teenager and his appearance could also be considered that of a girl. After staring at him for a while, the feeling that he was supposed to be saved would surface. Because the boy had a facial expression that almost looked like he was making eye contact with the viewer as he fell. But this could not come true. He was sinking in the picture. No one on this side could do anything. One would not know what to do with themselves after looking at it – it was that kind of picture.

“Excuse me; I was the one who painted this. Is there anything wrong with this painti...”

Suddenly, a voice called to the woman from behind. A rock thrown into the quiet atmosphere. A low tone that cut through the dimness of the room.

People were mostly heading towards the famous artists, so the woman had been all by herself on that spot until just now. The man who had showed up a bit late was coincidentally the creator of that fantastical painting, and found himself talking to the woman who had stopped in front of his art. That was an extremely natural encounter for a pair. If their positions, circumstances and everything else were different, something might have been born between them. It did not have to be romantic love, just something – something else that “the two of them originally had”.

“Captain Dietfried Bougainvillea.”

The moment the woman turned around, the space resounded with a loud squeak. It actually had not resounded, but at the very least, Dietfried heard the thump of his own heartbeat, which gave his whole body goosebumps. He was enveloped in a strange sensation, as if the blood inside him were flowing backwards. One of the things he had once evaded in his life was standing there.

“What’re you doing, Monster?”

Violet Evergarden.

Before the emerald eyes that Dietfried possessed, of a hue different from his younger brother’s, there was a young female Auto-Memories Doll. The reason why he had not recognized her from the back was likely that her golden hair was slovenly loose.

He had not had a chance to see her after she had become a grown-up ever since the incident during the Flying Letters. Only people who had great amount of interaction with each other would be able to tell such a thing just by looking at someone’s back.

“I was looking at the paintings, Captain.”

Violet was expressionless. However, her hand alone promptly searched for her emerald brooch and squeezed it.

“You, paintings? Can you understand them?”

First, a scornful laugh, and then a head start with a verbal attack. She needed to put up a defense line. After all, this girl was formerly a weapon. An automatic assassination doll.

“I cannot. It is just that... my eyes and legs stopped.”

She was the one and only woman that Dietfried feared. If he had run into anyone else, his emotions would not be so disrupted.

Dietfried was scared. This girl was terrifying.

“I caused you trouble last time.”

He knew the things she had done. He knew whom she had killed. And he also recalled how he used to treat her, telling himself that it was all right.

“By asking about Major.”

Because she was a monster.

——O God, I want to .

These words wandered about in his head. They were words that he had prayed in his childhood to the one that he would meet at some point – probably in his dying moments. Thinking back on it now, it had been a foolish, immature and helpless wish, but he was serious about it at the time.

Looking at this girl made him remember his embarrassing past self.

“I shall see myself out. Captain, please take your time.”

“Hey.”

Violet had decided to retreat from the place, putting it to action. She concluded that this would be a peaceful solution for both sides and that it would secure each other’s survival.

“Hey, wait.”

However, Dietfried still had something that he wanted to say.

At the call of restraint, Violet’s feet halted mid-step. She then gazed at Dietfried. “Why?” her eyes were asking.

Choosing to leave must have been her own way of showing respect. Considering the current and the previous relationship between two of them, it was a sound judgement. Hence, she stared at him presumptuous and mutely.

Even now, it pierced Dietfried. That quiet “why” perforated him.

Despite being the one who had told her to wait, Dietfried lost sight of his next words. He had tons of complaints. Rather, complaints were the only thing that ever came out of his mouth. Most likely, he had never presented any warm words or attitude to her. No, he had at least patted her head when they parted. But what about it? That was all he had done. Which perhaps was the reason why.

——What did you think of that painting?

Just a question like this was exceptionally challenging for him. If it were anyone else, he would surely be able to ask as easily as breathing. He could also boast that he was the one who had painted it. However, only with this woman was it so difficult.

A long silence drifted between the two. A truly long, long silence.

The mood was almost like two beasts had come across each other in the wilderness and were estimating which would attack first. Both were underdeveloped and, not matching their insides, only their appearances were actually full-fledged. Seen from the sidelines, they were a beautiful adult man and woman looking at each other, but the air flowing between them was that of a battlefield.

Dietfried was starting to sweat. As for Violet, even her breathing was becoming shallower.

Violet seemed to be thinking about something. She opened and closed her mouth, repeating it several times. What should she do in that situation? What was best? She was probably unable to decide. This was something that not just Violet but also Dietfried was thinking about, yet the degree of seriousness in behavior was surprisingly higher on Violet’s side.

She would normally not be like this.

He was the person that even Violet Evergarden, who had written so many letters, was at loss as to how to act around. That was the man called Dietfried.

Perhaps her thinking had eventually arrived to a conclusion, Violet left her baggage on the floor and put her hands behind her back. “Feel free to.”

At first, Dietfried had no idea what she was doing. Violet looked like she was offering her body.

“Ha...?”

Without hesitation, almost as if she were a tool.

“I am still. Feel free to.”

“Feel free to feast on my life,” she seemed to say. Her current self overlapped with the beast of the past.

“To do what, is what I’m asking...” Dietfried’s mouth felt sticky, giving him a hard time mustering words out. His head had been occupied mostly with how to mend the blunder that he had exposed to her, so he could not respond to Violet’s surprise attack immediately.

“Do you not remember? I used to do this whenever I had to receive reprimand or punishment.”

He could not. All of the information that had been fluttering about in Dietfried’s head until now disappeared. It vanished.

“You, what the...”

The owner of the blue eyes that stared at Dietfried as if to shoot through him always did unexpected things, tossing him about.

“I did not know how to speak back then, so in order to show that I had no intention to attack you, Captain, I would do this.”

Those eyes.

“No matter what I say, surely... there is no atonement for me. With time, I have come to understand the things I... did. And how much terror I made you go through. Nevertheless, I am grateful for the kindliness of placing me under Lord Gilbert. I wish to pay you back somehow. If you say that it is unnecessary, at the very least, do as you please.”

For whatever reason, when those eyes asked him “why”...

“Be it with fists or with reproach, as much as you want.”

...his chest ached as if it had been stabbed.

“Feel free to.”

If that place were not a quiet art gallery, Dietfried would have yelled furiously at her, without caring about shame or his reputation. He managed to ball his fists hard enough for it to hurt and swallow down his angry voice due to his high level of self-respect.

“I hate that about you...”

This girl always made him aware that she would never act as he expected.

“...to death.”

At the words spoken by Dietfried’s quivering tone, Violet took a step back. Her stance of offering herself did not change, but her instincts were on-guard, wondering if she was not going to be killed by this man. Seeing that, Dietfried sneered at her figure.

“You’re the one who could choke the life out of me anytime,” he seemed to say.

Dietfried suddenly felt the heat that had gone up his head cooling down. Violet had taken a step back. That became the trigger for him to regain his composure. Because he was able to reconfirm that she was but a child in the end. This innocent aspect and action that were much like what a child would show to an adult exerted a great influence on the other party. Dietfried loathed that.

For he, who despised interventions from anyone, had so much aversion to it that it make him want to vomit.

Those who were accustomed to oppression from others would very easily choose to hurt people. She was inwardly frightened of that tendency. Yet albeit frightened, she prioritized others over herself. That creature was like a mass of contradictions.

——Disgusting. Stop. Die. Don’t look at me.

He did not want to get involved with her. But he had a mountain of things to say. However, when it came to whether or not he could properly do it, even if he managed to squeeze them out, they would turn into nothing but abusive language.

There was a large lake between the two of them and all they could do was gaze at the opposite shore, unable to tell how deep it was. Their first meeting was to blame for that. It was the cause of everything.

His underlings had attacked her and she had killed all of them. She then chased and chased after him, making him into her master. Despite there being a hierarchy, Violet was the one who had a grip over his life.

One would understand, after spending time with the girl, that this was a necessity for her. She was always like that, ever since the island only the two of them knew. Whenever anything happened, she would prioritize Dietfried. After all, even as he handed her over to Gilbert, she had not resisted.

If anything could be changed, that was the moment.

The two who never mingled with each other met again countless times in a parallel line. On such occasions, they would become unable to make a move due to shouldering the truth of rejection and of the things they had done, thus running away.

——Gilbert.

What did the person who brought the two together, whom they loved most, thought of that?

“You... I...”

——If I could change for Gilbert...

“Captain...?”

——If I could change, right here and now, for your sake...

Would it be easier for him to breathe?

Just as Dietfried was about to make a bitter decision...

“GYAAAAAAAAAH—AAAAAAH—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

...an incident occurred.

It was clearly not a hasty crime. The scream of Artemisia, the owner, echoed, and by the time that Dietfried and Violet had bolted from the quiet hall where there was just the two of them, robbers were already thrusting their weapons mostly at vulnerable women and children, having them on their knees. The course of action was far too swift.

Wide-eyed, Violet swung back her trolley bag and was about to throw it at them, yet Dietfried stopped her.

“Are you stupid?! Those aren’t all adults that can run...!”

Among the hostages, there was also a little girl held under someone’s arms, looking like she did not understand the situation.

“I will save them as fast as possible and take control of the rest.”

“They’ve got guns; what’re you gonna do if they hit someone else with a warning shot?! There’s the other artworks too... This ain’t a stage for a tactless bastard like you to brawl! Just stay put for now!”

“But, Captain—”

“Stay put!”

While the two were trying to push past each other, the robbers took notice of them.

In the main hall, perhaps in order to bind people up through fear, the men were being beaten without exception, being put on their knees over the floor. Seeing that, the women naturally sat down, trembling, and began to cry.

While screams were resounding like music, one of the robbers headed towards the duo. “So there were still weeds growing here?” was the look in his eyes as he swung his firearm emotionlessly.

Dietfried would have managed to avoid it. He had done it several times until now. He could do it as easily as floating on water. If he could catch the man’s gun with one hand and pulled it just like that, he was able to picture the opponent falling over as a reaction. Once he stole the gun, he could shoot each member of the robber gang one by one in the head. And then, there would be a gunfight. He would have done that if he were alone. Yes, if he were alone.

——Why now of all times?

There was nothing more humiliating than a punch that one had to resign oneself into receiving. But he had things he had to protect above his own dignity. Thus, he accepted the attack without dodging. If he were to start a scuffle amidst the current situation, he did not think that all of the people who had become hostages would remain unharmed. He would aim for a chance. That was what he should do. He made such decision not only for his own welfare but also for that of other people.

However, the automatic assassination doll made a completely different one. When her eyes glinted like that, she quite literally moved on automatic. She came forward to take his place. In that instant, the face of Dietfried’s younger brother was the only thing crossing his mind.

——Gil.

It was almost as if he had readied himself to do it. That was how quickly his arm reached out. He forcefully embraced Violet and turned his back towards the robber. A violent hit struck him from head to back. He could hear Violet’s breath quietly catching while holding her in his arms.

And such was how they had arrived to the present.

Dietfried did not think that his decision to suppress Violet was a mistake. He was aware that she was the woman who had fought by herself against terrorists inside an exploding train, but it would be a problem if she did something of the sort in the Artemisia Gallery.

Right now, he felt like a pet owner containing the rampage of his mad dog.

As for the mad dog herself, she had grown quiet ever since Dietfried had been hit, as if her functions were gone. Dietfried had pushed away the hands that had attempted to give him first aid. Any false moves and the robbers might beat him again.

She, who always took upon herself to protect, wound up being protected. On top of that, she had let the other be injured. This must have caused her to fall into despondency, enough to result in service outage. However, with time, she had rebooted and was rousing herself up once more to get through this situation.

“I understand that I should refrain from the use of force in an art gallery. But should we not place human lives above the artworks?”

——Whose fault do you think it is that I got hit on the back of my head?

Because she was saying the most obvious thing with the most serious face, Dietfried grabbed the collar where her brooch resided, taking the brooch along, without thinking. The thread that fastened the ribbon-tie dress’s button let out a screech. It was not the kind of deed that a gentleman would do to a lady. But Dietfried did not loosen the strength that he put into his grip.

“You... Do you still need disciplining from me?” he said, voice filled with rage, close enough for their faces to touch. “Think of this as a place that can hardly compare to any other... This thing’s pretty important for you, isn’t it?”

After blinking with a snap, she opened her mouth once, then closed it.

Once Dietfried’s hand let go of her, she grasped the brooch as if to protect it. She was more concerned about the brooch than the crumpled bust of her dress. She stroked it over and over, making sure that it had not been damaged.

Finally, she whispered in a dazed state, “I understand.”

“As if an idiot could,” Dietfried said with a snort, yet the other was a poker-faced Auto-Memories Doll. No matter how much he hurt her, it would have no effect. That was what Dietfried had thought.

“I understood completely. I will avoid combat here as much as possible.” Alas, her voice sounded a little faint.

Dietfried stared at Violet from the corners of his eyes. The brooch was indeed important to her. She was holding it down with both hands. She did not want anyone to touch it – that was what she was indicating. The two of them were speaking in an awfully low tone, but her timbre just now was as thin as the cry of a mosquito.

Dietfried said with a somewhat softer voice, “Good that you get it. I’m indebted to the owner of this gallery. I’m gonna choose the best I can for her sake too.”

“All right.”

“Human lives are the priority, of course. But we’re not gonna fight in a stupid way.”

Like a child, Violet nodded repeatedly.

“You’ve only ever been doing body guarding, murders and military action, and that’s why you don’t understand. In the sea... In fleet battles, we fight to protect. Our way of thinking is different from those who fight to conquer.”

“To protect...”

“If you can’t put brakes on them at sea, the enemies go to land. The reason why Leidenschaftlich is called a military nation ain’t just the army’s achievement. I’ve... never taught you how to fight at sea, huh... For now, forget the method of destroying and taking control of everything. Learn from my ways.”

“Understood.”

Dietfried was inwardly surprised at the obedient reply. Rather, even more than this, he was surprised that he and the “beast” were able to have mutual comprehension.

When she was in his hands, this beautiful Auto-Memories Doll was a “wild beast” that did not know how to speak, as well as a tool. An incontrollable beast, to boot.

“Still, if that is how it is, please do not forget that your wellbeing is my top priority all the more. I shall fight to protect you, Captain. Please do not think of protecting me for Lord Gilbert’s sake. If necessity arises, I will not might if you use me as a shield. I can be replaced, but there is no substitute for you.”

If, at that time...

“This is also linked to protecting Lord Gilbert.”

...in that place...

“Bye, Monster. This guy’s your next master.”

...he had educated and guided her instead of letting her go, would she have grown up the same way?

“Shut up.”

Would she have thought like that?

“Shut up, Monster.”

He had never even thought about it.

Another side of him immediately answered “no” to the self-questioning. Surely, a Violet Evergarden raised by Dietfried Bougainvillea would not have turned out like this. He might have at least taught her how to talk. They would have trouble communicating otherwise. He would have probably given her clothes and personal belongings for daily life. Bringing her along when walking around would look bad for him.

However, when it came to whether or not he would have bestowed this girl with something that would be enveloped in her hands with utmost zeal...

——I see; so it’s the same color as Gilbert’s eyes. That brooch.

...he would undeniably have not.

——Come to think of it, she was always following me around from behind ‘cause she hated being alone.

If there was anything he could have done for her, it was to at least fill up a coffin with flowers and leave it available for her. He did not intend for anything to happen, but he might have done that much. After all, if Violet had stayed beside Dietfried Bougainvillea, she would have surely died before him, for his sake.

“We’re gonna do an act.”

——Aah, Gilbert.

“An act?”

——I’m always late to realize how great you are.

“That’s right. You’re the one who suggested it, so I’m gonna make you into a decoy.”

——You’ve made that filthy beast into this.

“Understood.”

——You were able to change her like this.

“First, take this... It’s late for that, but... you got any questions about a joint struggle with me?”

As Dietfried asked, Violet responded with her neck tilted, “Why...? I do not.”

For whatever reason, his former weapon would show scraps of emotion only at times like these. Just innocently, unaware that it was merciless of her.

“Please use me correctly, Captain.” She smiled.

Why had robbers attacked the Artemisia Gallery?

There was a certain amount of history that led to such violence unfolding amidst everyday life. Firstly, it would be preferable to start with the time when a turning point happened in the life of the robbery’s main offender, but that would be rewinding too far. On to a brief explanation.

This case was a crime committed by a habitual criminal.

There were various reasons for people to rob, yet the advantage was but one. Earning compensation within a short period. Good citizens would be paid for their work, but thieves did not share this mentality. People received rewards through serving others. In order to gather a large sum, a long time and effort were necessary. Thieves abdicated from this. To achieve success, no matter in what land, a person had to be equipped with skills as a rule of thumb.

If one could stop after doing it once, why did they do it countless times? There were people here and there who thought this about criminals. It was because, if they had succeeded once, they could do it again. They were instantly able to attain things that they would have to spend a long time out of their lives to earn. This was the arrival of an opportunity to do that.

Once one got used to it, identifying opportunities was surprisingly easy.

Supposing that there was someone who excelled at predicting people’s thoughts. The other person’s personality would be determined by the movements of their eyes, the way they breathed, their voice tone, the relationships of power in their background, their social position and other such things, so one would be able to deduce what kind of conduct should be taken in order to derive the “correct answer”. It seemed like magic at first glance, but it was no more than the result of someone continuously keeping watch on another person for many years.

Since this was a strategy against individual matches, the robbers needed a slightly better ability to grasp the environment. As they were walking around the city, they incidentally found out that a new gallery was going to open. The opening date was also announced. It appeared that there would be an event only for those concerned on the day before.

No matter the establishment, dealing flawlessly with the inauguration of a new shop was difficult. Even if there were people in it who already had experience working in a gallery, but the use of their abilities to have control over such a situation and proceed with it smoothly was different. Employees would be in quite a panic on the day. If it was a members-only celebration day, there was no mistaking that the original state of the security that should be guarding the gallery would be insufficient.

And so, the robbers had thought, “Aah, if you poke this place, it’ll surely crumble down.”

They did not have any grudges in particular. They had simply judged that they could do it, thus undergoing the assault. The truth was merely that the Artemisia Gallery had been unlucky.

How many hardships the owner had gone through until she was able to open the gallery, had she lived her life bowing her head to other people? How many artists were looking forward to seeing their work exhibited in the gallery? The feelings of such people could be trampled miserably at times.

Not that many people paid any mind to weeds when walking. That was all. Except, this time, the Artemisia Gallery had been lucky about just one thing.

“No good... Hum, excuse me...! She suddenly...!”

A naval captain who loved art...

“Ugh...”

...and the woman who used to be called Leidenschaftlich’s War Maiden were amongst the hostages.

The man who had caused a commotion and pleaded to one of the robbers in a panic raised both of his hands as a display of no resistance. He was a long-haired a man. His slightly curvy dark hair went past his shoulders. Right next to him was a woman holding her stomach and trembling.

“What?”

A few armed men gathered around them.

“It seems her stomach hurts.”

“Just a stomach ache? Leave it alone.”

“You’re telling us to let her go to the bathroom? We still gotta watch these people. Besides, she’s a woman. If someone takes her to the toilet... Well, how much stuff did we get?”

“We’ve piled most of the paintings in the carrier, but there’s still the ornaments. It’s still gonna take a while.”

The robbers had a choice. The option to either silently let her suffer or kindly take her to the restroom. Beating only the men was likely one of their policies. They did not hesitate to make use of violence when needed, but when it was not, it was best to have as least animosity as possible in order to get through with things unobtrusively and quickly take the treasure. It seemed gentlemanly but was a self-righteous thinking.

“What do we do? The Head is...”

“The Head got in the car first. As if we can ask him stuff like this every single time it happens.”

“Head” probably referred to the member worthy of being their chief.

As the quiet exchanges continued in front of the agonizing woman, she finally lay down on the floor while still holding onto her stomach. The man who had appealed about her bad condition shook her shoulders, telling her to “hang in there”.

As if she had received a signal, the woman raised her face slowly. Her gemstone-like blue eyes were visible through the gaps between her disheveled golden hair. She was covering her mouth, perhaps trying not to vomit. Even so, it was easy to tell that the woman’s looks were remarkably good.

“It’s gonna take a while, huh. Besides, we’re gonna need the women later.”

Her eyes locked with one of robber’s as though sucking him in. One would not understand the destructive power that having this woman look up at them from their feet with her eyes wet had, unless they witnessed it themselves.

“Then, I guess it’s okay.”

From the vulgar smile of the man who had said so, one could presume what his intentions were. As the woman was covering her mouth, the robber instructed her to stand up, pointing his gun at her, and then took her to the restroom.

After that, the woman and the robber did not return for a while. Since there were no other people who mustered out the courage to say that they wanted to use the toilet, the period of their absence passed as if it were natural. In the meantime, the gallery’s exhibits were being carried one after another to cars with roof racks parked outside the establishment. The robbers were dressed as employees who worked with the transportation of goods, so even those walking down the street did not think there was anything strange about that work scene.

Once they had finished relocating most of the merchandises, one of the cars left the gallery. The other one that remained parked was meant for the getaway of those who were keeping watch. With the artworks that had been collected for the sake of this day snatched away down to the last one, the gallery was bare. The owner, Artemisia, had all the while been suppressing her cries and shedding tears.

Apparently, those thieves were quite the habitual criminals. They had threatened everyone with armed force upon entering the establishment, robbing people of any resistance, but after that, as long as everyone stayed still, they would do nothing but coldly keep control of the hostages, not even raising their voices. If people did as told, they would not lose their lives. That hope made the hostages obedient. Even though they were robbers, this seamless way of dealing with people was like that of artisans. They did not think of humans as humans.

“Excuse me; I just... want to lend her a handkerchief. That’s all. The sleeves of her clothes are already soaked with tears. Can’t you allow just this much?”

Hearing a voice from the back, Artemisia turned around. It came from one of the artists that she had invited over for today, whom she had known for quite some time. She was shaken by a sense of guilt that she had done something terrible to him as well.

Their first meeting had started at a certain recreational facility, when she peeked from behind while he was painting a landscape. She did not know his occupation, but they kept in touch and she had him show her his art. It seemed he had always been drawing as a hobby. He told her that even most of the people who were close to him did not know he painted, and that he had truly only been doing it for himself.

The busy man had weaved his way through spare time and the work he brought had swayed Artemisia’s senses. At first, he had hesitated at her request to put it on display, but then smiled like a boy and gave her his ready consent, looking happy.

——Aah, God. Please give it back. Please give that fun time back to everyone.

Artemisia was upset and vexed at the fact that the artworks were being stolen, but more than anything, it felt like the regret towards everyone who had been looking forward to this day would split her chest open.

“Hey, he told you to use this.”

He had lent a handkerchief to Artemisia through one of the robbers. Artemisia wiped her tears and managed to lock eyes with him somehow. She then mouthed a “thank you” to him without letting out her voice.

The man smiled. But it was not the smile that Artemisia knew. He was different when he talked about art. She had shivers before she could think. His eyes were not smiling.

“ .”

The man said something to Artemisia. As he had only moved his lips, Artemisia could not tell whether she had been able to read what he tried to convey. She could not, but most likely, he had said:

“It’ll be over soon.”

Eventually, the robbers started to create an atmosphere of evacuation at last.

“Let’s take one person with us until we leave the harbor. Can be a woman or kid. Which do we choose?”

“Woman it is.”

“That guy was playing around with the woman we were planning to use for that, wasn’t he? What happened to him?”

Assuming that they would finally be freed, the hostages started fidgeting. They had faced a disaster and the artworks that they had dedicated their lives to making had been stolen. This joyful day had been repainted into despair. But they were alive. That was the one and only bright side of today. They would not be able to maintain their rationality unless they comforted themselves with that. At any rate, they wanted to hurry and be liberated.

Amongst them, there was a man who merely observed the robbers’ movements in silence all the while. It was the man who had been caring for a woman that had a stomachache, looking worried. Once the woman had been taken to the restroom, he became expressionless, as if he had lost interest in everything. Occasionally, there were moments when he even yawned in secret, as if he had grown sleepy.

“Go call him. We could use that woman as hostage. She’s young, so she can come back walking if we throw her away on the street.”

Hearing these words, the man let out his voice and laughed. By the looks of it, he had not intended to laugh, but wound up doing so. He put a hand to his mouth, but then shrugged and let the robbers see it. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make fun of you. But trying to rape that thing, huh? No matter how many lives you have, it wouldn’t be enough.”

“Hey, what’s with you...? Got a complaint or something...?”

The man kept laughing, as though to say that the robbers’ threatening figures were even more comical. With her eyes, the owner, Artemisia, begged the man provoking the robbers to restrain himself, for she could not afford to lose not only the artworks that she had collected but also a guest that she had invited, yet the man closed one eye at that and replied, “Artemisia, it’s okay.”

No one in this place knew his social status. Or his history.

In the past, Dietfried Bougainvillea used to wield a weapon that could become the world’s best. It was now away from his grasp, but it was not as if their master-servant connection had been completely severed. The beast had a high level of loyalty, so although they had met by chance after a long time, her heart recognized it. That he was the one she had been following in the past – someone worth being served by her. Therefore, the beast would attend him to exhaustion.

Only a limited number of people could handle the beast. The feeling that she had returned to his hands for now was somewhat strange.

“She runs quick.”

“Ha?”

“That’s why it’s the end for you guys. My bad.”

“Hey, shut this dude up.”

As Dietfried had suddenly started talking, the robbers naturally had a doubtful reaction.

“She’s as fast as a deer. And this is the city’s main street, so there are hotels nearby.”

“So, what’re you saying?”

“I left my bodyguards behind to come here today. They’re probably drinking at their room’s bar. There’re also guys among them who know that thing from the time when she was still by my side. I left my hair tie with her, so she should be able to convince them with that. I could predict that you’d take the things you stole to the port. It’s pretty difficult to get away from pursuers on land when you make such a mess in the center of this city. It’s harder to be tracked using the sea route than the land route, right? But the sea route doesn’t work against me. It looks like one vehicle left a while ago, but it’s over by the point they reach the port. You’ll probably go outside now, but if you’re thinking about taking someone along as a hostage, you’d better drop it. Many of my subordinates are hot-blooded. If you rouse them up like that, they’ll probably get too excited. If that happens, you’re the ones who’ll be getting the short end of the stick. No matter how many dead bodies fall down, we can deal with it all we want in the aftermath. We’ll need to get the stories straight, but today’s hostages will surely choose to cooperate with me. Having people trample on the proof of a life that you’ve lived with all your might is painful for anyone.”

The eloquent man did not run out of breath even when speaking nonstop in such a situation. However, this majestic aspect of him was reflected in others’ eyes as dreadful and similar to madness.

The robbers abruptly realized that all the hostages were looking far behind them. They felt that there was something behind them. It was like a ghost, hiding even its flame of life, simply waiting for the orders of its lord.

Outside the windows of the gallery, they could hear the sounds of someone fighting from around the area where the car was parked. Simultaneously, they could hear a faint breathing just behind them.

The respiration of a woman who was out of breath from running loomed over their ears.

“Do it, Violet.” Dietfried raised his thumb and made a swift throat-cutting gesture.

While watching his doll render the robbers unconscious with a strength as overwhelming as a monster eating people, Dietfried reminisced to the past.

——Everything goes around.

He recalled the time when the two of them were stuck in that isolated island.

The beast had been scared when the rescue fleet arrived. So had Dietfried. He would not be able to bear it if more of his comrades were murdered. Hence, he had taken the beast’s hand and guided her to the outside world. In his perception, it was the same as taking the reins.

There were no reins anymore now. No need for him to pull her by the hand when walking, either. There was nothing between them.

Not love, passion, attachment, desire, anything.

“Captain.”

There was nothing, but one thing was for certain.

“Captain Bougainvillea.”

If he called for her, this Auto-Memories Doll would most likely go to the ends of the world to save him. That was her nature.

“I have just returned. Are you unharmed?”

At that moment, the beast was well aware that he had called her name for the very first time. Her eyes were crinkling.

“Yeah.”

Just this much compensation was enough to make the beast smile.

After a little while passed, Leidenschaftlich was embraced by the gentleness of the night.

Summer constellations were decorating the jet-black sky. Just as sunny as it was during daytime, the night sky was twinkling so brightly this evening that it could be called a banquet of stars. The day was about to end in Leidenschaftlich. Today was filled with chaos ever since morning.

While being observed by gathered-up onlookers, the arrest drama that had unfolded in front of the Artemisia Gallery was already coming to a conclusion, its many procedures and processing passed over to the military police. Seeing the stolen artworks safely re-delivered to Artemisia, Dietfried took a breather. His gaze then fleetingly drifted to the side. A dirtied ceramic doll was standing there. A woman beautiful enough to look like such, who shone amidst the night, was standing there. He had to say something to her. As one would expect, he should do that at least now. But he could not think of anything.

——“You did well”. “That wasn’t too bad”. “Good work”. “I commend you”... Which one?

Inside his head, words were being conceived and then disappearing. Just like the dreams that the sleeping children all around Leidenschaftlich were surely seeing right now. They were born and then vanished.

At last, he attempted to open his mouth, “Aren’t you cold?”

“It is summer, after all.”

And ended up talking to her like a man who was unused to inviting women out.

Violet Evergarden, who had been fighting reasonably and in order to protect, was still by Dietfried’s side. It was fitting to say that she had been today’s most meritorious person. The one who had come up with the idea of the arrest operation was Dietfried, but the one who had done all the work for it was Violet.

First, she had put up the woman-with-a-stomachache act and gone with one of the robbers to the restroom. She had then quietly strangled the neck of the man who had reached a hand to her shoulder with her mechanical prosthetic arms, making him pass out.

She had broken out and escaped through the restroom’s window. Rather than going to the military police, she had gone to the hotel that Dietfried instructed her to and notified the naval soldiers, who were enjoying cigarettes and drinks in a room on the top floor, of the circumstances. One of the soldiers, who happened to know her, had been frightened at first, but upon seeing that she had been entrusted with Dietfried’s ribbon, his facial expression changed and he contacted the military police, then informed the port’s security to reinforce their inspections.

Without waiting for them to get ready, she had immediately run back to the Artemisia Gallery and infiltrated it through the same route. A few of the robbers, who had the bad luck of spotting her, fell to the ground with one kick or punch to the abdomen, and so, she had finally returned. As Violet stood behind the remaining robbers while catching her breath, the hostages stared as if she were their safety, but Dietfried was sneering as he looked at her.

Just as ordered, she had saved Dietfried without damaging a single artwork.

“About what happened...”

“It will probably be best not to tell Lord Gilbert. He would worry.”

Upon seeing the last artwork be brought in, Violet took the trolley bag that lay by her feet. She likely intended to go home by herself.

After making her do so much, something similar to guilt was now sprouting within Dietfried. He wound up acknowledging that she, too, was important to someone. That was what he thought after the battle, when he saw Violet stroking her emerald brooch as if to confirm that it was there.

Even though she used to be a wild beast whom no one would mourn if she died.

——Aah, that’s an excuse. It’ll be nothing but an excuse. If so, then I don’t wanna say it.

Back then, when she was by Dietfried’s side, every single day was filled with madness on all accounts. They used to roam around battlefields, fighting from dawn to dusk, growing too accustomed to violence. The war then ended, peace had returned, and he realized that an era in which he could even make art was arriving. That those times were abnormal and the way he felt now was the default.

“I’ll take you home.”

“No need. Your escorts must be waiting, so please, feel free to take your leave, Captain.”

“It’s fine; just this time. I’ll take you home.”

“No need.”

“I’ll take you. Listen up, this is an order.”

“I cannot accept your command.”

“You little... You were taking action like I instructed you to just a while ago.”

“Because it was a state of emergency... Besides, Captain Dietfried, it would be reasonable if I were to take you home, but the opposite is illogical.”

“What’re you talking about? You’re a woman, aren’t you?”

“A woman”. Finding himself asserting this with his own mouth, Dietfried regretted it even more.

The corner of Violet’s lips had a cut and blood was coming out of it. Her ribbon-tie dress was drenched in sweat. Even those who did not sweat much would be like this after such a huge scuffle during summertime.

“I’m calling a carriage. It’s all right; just wait right there. I’ll see you off until you get inside the Evergarden house. And then it’s goodbye. We’ll never see each other again. No matter what you and Gil become, we’ll never see each other again.”

What he had done today to this woman, who had become fully able to accept someone’s love, was not something that a son of the Bougainvillea should ever do to a lady.

After they had hopped into the carriage, a moment of silence went on for a while.

——Is it okay for her to keep such an open secret even though those two are a couple?

Dietfried found himself accidentally concerned about his younger brother’s love life. After all, this situation might be a betrayal to his dearest brother. Gilbert had completely forgiven Dietfried. For pushing the headship succession onto him. For not having any consideration for their family. For forcing an indescribable wild beast onto him. He had forgiven everything.

Thinking back, the only time that he attempted to push Dietfried away, saying he would not forgive him, had been when Dietfried offered Violet to him. He had called it “human trafficking”. Told Dietfried not to be violent with a child.

Most likely, those two were each other’s only exception from the very beginning. There was probably no pardoning what Dietfried had done to Violet today. Gilbert would forgive most things. Save for matters related to the one and only thing that was most important to him. Being hated by a loved one. This could cast a shadow over anyone’s heart, regardless of how old they were.

“It is all right.” The voice that cut through the silence was thrown at him as if to soothe him down. The words sounded almost as if she had perceived Dietfried’s uneasiness. “If, by any chance... word ends up reaching him through someone else about this case, I will definitely defend you, Captain Dietfried.”

“‘Defend’, you say?”

“To tell the truth, I often get involved in large-scale incidents without Major knowing. But I return without fail. To Leidenschaftlich. I will return today as well. Therefore, we are all right.”

“What do you do out there?”

“We were separated for much too long. Therefore, we have many moments that the other does not know about in the first place. Perhaps even now, too. I have work to do and so does he. We have limited time to see each other. However, I will definitely always return to Major. He knows this as well. Even when we are apart, that person is the only one who occupies my mind. I am not sure if I convey it to him properly, but that is how it is.”

Her statements were something that would normally make him burst into laughter, but Dietfried was unable to do so.

——When did you become like that?

Dietfried hated Violet. Several factors had induced his emotions to it.

——Now you can correspond to someone’s love.

He saw himself overlap with her. Her subservience to adults and the way that she herself wanted it disgusted him. He despised the wild beast that did not yearn for freedom. Despised the fact that she had been trained by someone to be this way. Despised everything. To begin with, Dietfried did not have many things that he liked.

Even the number of people who could become kind had a limit.

The truth was that, even if he wanted to be kind, it was no longer possible. He had prayed to God for it countless times in the past. However, unable to achieve this, a man named Dietfried Bougainvillea existed.

——O God, I want to, he begged a certain Someone in his mind for the first in a long time. Perhaps since his childhood.

Still, this sort of being did not give any reply to calls. Even now, he had no idea if his plea had reached Him. It was certainly impossible. His and Violet’s stars were in a position that would not radically change.

Nevertheless, for some reason, he had the overwhelming desire to ask someone for forgiveness today.

——I wanna go back.

Not even he knew where to.

——Hurry and be over, this day, today and the time I have to spend with her.

He was not annoyed.

——O God, I want to...

But painfully miserable.

“Captain.”

The carriage ran amongst trees dyed in the darkness of the night. A cool voice echoed amidst them.

Violet was looking at the scenery outside. She was observing the moon, which chased after them, no matter how far, far apart they were.

The moon was something that would continue to exist forever. Unlike stories. Regardless of whether Dietfried concerned himself with it, everything about his story would come to a closing one day as well. Demise would arrive even to the things that he did not wish to ever be over. Even the feelings he had now would end.

“How was I today?”

“What?”

“Did my work earn your satisfaction today?”

Dietfried could not read the intentions behind Violet’s question at all. She was someone whose emotions he could not read in the first place, but it was even harder to understand the meaning of that sentence.

“What do you want to say?”

Silence.

“Hey, just say it straight. Don’t be dodgy with me.”

“All right,” the cool voice entered his ears once more. Such coldness resembled the night, but it never left his ears, easy as it was to catch.

Violet turned her neck and cast her gaze at him. Slowly, blue and green eyes blended with each other.

“I...”

Bathed in moonlight, she was simply, purely beautiful, enough to take Dietfried’s breath away.

“When I was with you, Lord Dietfried, my work was never satisfactory. Now that I became an adult, have I finally been able to repay my debt... with my work?”

“What d’you mean by ‘debt’?”

His voice was hoarse. He suddenly felt as if this icy woman had robbed his entire body of its heat. The inside of his mouth was extremely dry.

“I mean everything. It all started when you brought me from that island. I am the way I am now because you entrusted me to Ma... to Lord Gilbert.”

“If you’d stayed with me, probably nothing good would’ve happened.”

“How would I be if I had continued to serve you?”

These words became a bullet and pierced Dietfried’s heart. He felt as if his breathing would stop at the unexpected question. Things had been like that since the distant past. Dietfried would reconfirm time and time again that she was a woman who could have become a lethal weapon for him.

“So you also imagine a hypothesis... of ‘what if’,” her exquisitely cold voice rang within the darkness. Upon being asked, “You too?”, Violet nodded.

That was his line, Dietfried thought, but Violet then sent his gemstone eyes a dream-like gaze. His existence might be devoid of realism to her.

Violet began to whisper. If only she had disobeyed that order back then. If only she had rushed to him a step faster at that time.

“Back then, if”. “Back then, if”. “Back then, if”.

She could not bring myself not to think that, if only she had had this extra step, he would not have lost that emerald eye.

“Besides, I wonder... if I had managed to protect him back then...”

She had to let go of her most beloved lord’s hand and was entrusted to someone else as if she had been thrown away.

“...I would not have had to spend that time away from Major.”

Thinking back, she had always been abandoned and then picked up by somebody. She should have been used to it. That was the star she had been born under.

She was originally a foreign body to this world and was supposed to have been eliminated. Her destiny had also flowed in this way. The reason why Violet had rebelled against her sectioned path, despite having been tamely submitting herself to it, was that the other was special.

——I also threw her away.

He had thrown his home away. Thrown away his little brother, who cried in protest. And thrown away this beast.

“I also wonder what would have happened if you had not left me with Major.”

This woman.

“But all of these are akin to dreams, crossing my mind and fading away. After passing through countless ‘if’s, I...”

He had pushed this woman onto his brother and forsaken her. Looking at her made him sick. He was also scared of her. Most importantly, he would have stopped being himself. This terrified him.

“And now, I have become an Auto-Memories Doll and am spending a night with you.”

This woman possessed an element that transmuted people.

“Y’know, you’ll be alone one day. You’re the one who’s got the longer lifespan, aren’t you?”

Violet closed her eyes at those words. If she had pictured numerous “if”s, this would obviously come to mind as well.

“I do not know.”

“If that happens, what’re you gonna do?”

“I do not know. But are you not the same as me when it comes to this? You love him, right?”

“I’m... I’m the older one. I’ll be gone sooner.”

“No one knows about that. But... if, one day... I do become alone... if I am left living by myself... my order will still be valid. I will probably live on.”

If she ended up living by herself, this supposition was the cruelest of things to the beast. Just what did he want to do by making her say this now?

Thinking back, ever since they had first met, he had not known how to deal with her. Should he have protected her? Killed her? Protected? Killed? Or perhaps...

“That is why I write letters every day. Even if they do not reach him, I write letters to Major every single day.”

Silence.

“Captain, what will you do?”

“Me, huh? I... let’s see. Paint, I guess.”

“A painting or Major?”

“That’s right.”

“May I go see it?”

To Dietfried Bougainvillea, this wild beast was both a woman and a monster from the very beginning. She was now as far-off as a dream.

“You’re the only one of my relatives who knows I paint. Do whatever you want.”

——O God, I want to be a good person.

#violet evergarden #fyeahvioletevergarden #veedit #dietfried bougainvillea #kyoani #kyoto animation #akatsuki kana #takase akiko #my translation

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ejlovespie · 3 years

Text

Crazed (Pt. 1)

Pt. 1 of this series.

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: A hunt gone wrong leaves you with a hex that drives you and Dean crazy with lust.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 2016

Warnings: 18+ Please do not read this if you are underage. Language, smut, female & male masturbation with more to come...

You were starting to seriously regret going on this hunt. Sitting in the back seat of the impala, you and the Winchester boys were driving back to the bunker after what you had thought was a successful hunt. After three days you had found and ganked the witch who was causing men in the area to literally go crazy with lust. The witch had a vendetta on men and her favorite flavor was married cheaters. If you were being honest with yourself you understood her anger. A woman scorned and all. However, these guys didn’t deserve to die in the way they did...And now you were thinking you were screwed too.

During the big showdown, the witch had gotten the drop on them. She knew they were coming for her so she was ready when they got there. She had immediately incapacitated Sam, who was lying on the floor in the corner. Then she had gone for Dean; putting him in a choke hold. You stepped in, stabbing the bitch in the back to get her off but unfortunately for you, she mumbled an incantation at you before the lights went out. At first, nothing happened so you had hoped you had gotten lucky. The witch messed up or she didn’t have enough juice left to give her words power. It took about an hour for you to feel anything.

The three of you were headed back, dirty and disheveled from the fight, when a tingling heat started up in your belly. It was low and simmering, leaving you a little breathless but it wasn’t painful, just unexpected and odd. It was actually kind of pleasant but after a few minutes it started to ramp up. Little by little, the tingling was changing and turning into an ache. That combined with being in a small confined space with the two big hunters was starting to frazzle you. The smell in the car was suddenly too much. A mix of gunpowder, gasoline, leather, and the boy’s musky scents didn’t sound like a pleasant combination but you had always liked it. Except it was way too potent now. Filling your nose and making you a little light headed. On top of that, you were way too hot, despite the cold temperature outside. Rolling down the window, you practically stuck your face out like a dog to get some fresh air. You started fidgeting in your seat as the ache kept growing and you became aware of the new wetness in-between your thighs. Why wasn’t the cold air helping?

Dean had noticed all your fidgeting and weird panting. Starting to worry that you were hurt or feeling ill, he turned his head to look at you and said,

“You okay back there sweetheart?”

Dean’s deep, gravelly voice was too much and it caused a reaction in you that you hadn’t expected. His voice made the tingly, aching heat in your belly change into tiny bolts of lust. Gasping, you struggled to breathe without panting and responded as calmly as possible,

“I’m fine. It’s just hot in here.”

Sam had been reading something on his phone, oblivious to the situation but now he looked over at his brother, a frown on his face. They were in the middle of a Kansas winter and it was cold in the car, despite the heat being turned on. The boys exchanged confused looks before Sam finally turned around to look at you.

Sam looked at you and instantly knew something was wrong. He noted your flushed cheeks and the light beads of sweat above your lip and brow. He noticed your fidgeting and your quiet but heavy breaths. When you looked up at him Sam’s eyes went wide with surprise. He saw that your Y/E/C eyes had gone completely dark. Your pupils were blown and a heavy expression filled them. Although he hadn’t seen you like this before, he knew it was desire.

You quickly turned your face away from Sam and looked back out at the window. Where were we? How long of a drive would it be until you got back to the bunker? It felt like hours had past but you were struggling to concentrate on anything besides what was happening to your body.

Sam was definitely worried now and turned back to Dean.

“Dean, stop the car.”

You barely heard Sam’s voice and you didn’t register the car pulling off to the side of the road until Dean had parked. Dean gave Sam an annoyed look and then glanced back at you. His green eyes suddenly went wide and his mouth dropped open. Normally, it would have been funny but now you had the focused attention of both Winchester boys and it was devastating to your body. It was too much and your panties were now soaked. You knew if you stood up, there would be a noticeable wet spot on your jeans. Dean’s mouth snapped shut and then he said in a low, husky voice,

“Y/N what’s going on?”

You could smell your arousal now and that thought didn’t even have the time to to embarrass you before it happened. The tiny bolts of lust suddenly ramped up again and a full on orgasm struck you. You came fast and hard, pure lust jolting your body and without permission, a cry left your lips.

Now, both of the Winchester’s eyes went cartoon-ishly wide and their mouths dropped open. Y/N’s eyes slammed shut as her hands gripped the backseat of the impala and a cry of pleasure ripped from her lips. Dean choked on what he was about to say when the most sexual sound he had ever heard came out of Y/N’s mouth. Did she just have an orgasm because that’s what it looked and sounded like. Was that even possible? Not even a second after he thought it, her smell filled his nose. Her musky and sweet sex smell was surrounding him and he was so shocked his brain had short circuited. Without thought, Dean’s hand automatically went to his hardening cock. Suddenly, Sam jumped out of the car simultaneously feeling freaked out and turned on. Why was this happening?

After the orgasm, you had a moment of clarity. Loosening your death grip on the seat cushion you opened your eyes to see Dean’s dark green stare. His thick lips were parted now and his voice was low and seductive when he said,

“Did you just have an orgasm in my backseat?”

The lust in your belly had cooled but now you felt the entire process happening all over again. You realized your nipples were rock hard and rubbing painfully against the fabric of your cheap cotton bra. Suddenly, Sam opened the door and leaned in to look at you more closely.

“The witch. Did she say anything to you before you killed her?”

Oh Shit. With how distracted you had become you had completely forgotten about the witch and what she had said to you.

“Yes. She mumbled something before she died but I didn’t catch all of what she said.”

The heat in your belly was ramping up again, faster this time and you closed your eyes. Taking deep and slow breaths. You focused and repeated the words you could remember the witch saying to you. Sam asked you if she had touched you or if she had slipped a hex bag into your pocket and you shook your head. Sam spoke again.

“Y/N, she must have hexed you. The guys she killed were dying because they were driven crazy by lust and I think the same thing is happening to you.”

You weren't hearing his words anymore and Sam was too close. The mix of his natural musky smell and the hint of his cologne was filling your nose and driving you crazy. You tried fighting the feeling inside you but you had been unconsciously leaning towards Sam. Without thought, you reached for his hand, grabbing it and bringing it to your breast. Sam jerked and pulled away from you causing his fingers to graze over your hardened nipple. You moaned loudly and whined when he backed away. Sam took several steps back, his face on fire and his jeans too tight for comfort. His best friend was in trouble and he couldn’t focus long enough to help her.

Dean on the other hand watched the whole encounter and was pissed. He had always imagined what it would be like. Usually at night, alone in his bed with his hand wrapped around his cock. He would picture Y/N and imagine the way she would look when her beautiful Y/E/C eyes filled with desire and he would wrap his hands in her Y/H/C hair and fuck her until she came for him. He had dreamed about the sounds she would make and the way she would taste and how she would open up for him. Now, he was finally seeing his fantasy come to life and it was all wrong.

Dean jumped out of the car too and stomped over to Sam.

“This is bad Sammy. The bitch is dead so why is the hex working on her?”

You were vaguely aware that the boys were outside and it sounded like they were arguing. Shit. Shit. Shit. The witch really fucked you over. At this point you were starting to loose control again and the ache was consuming you. Your brain wasn’t working right. You touched yourself against your jeans and it felt so good that you started to rub yourself through the fabric. The pleasure was so intense, that you didn’t notice Dean walk back over to you until your eyes flew open and you saw him staring at you. His expression was dark and so sexy. He was leaning towards you in the back of the impala. His large presence and delicious smell combined with the movement of your hand had another orgasm tearing through you. Another loud cry escaped your lips and this time the waves of pleasure kept ripping through you, intensified by Dean’s hungry look. You were moaning and panting now, unable to stop the feeling inside of you. Biting your lip you stared and Dean and he stared back at you with a look you had never seen before.

“Dean. I..It won’t stop...I can’t control myself. Wh..Whatever that bitch did to me, It..it’s going to keep getting worse.”

You panted the words out in between heavy breaths. Dean wanted to lay his hand on your cheek and tell you it would be okay but he was afraid to touch you. Scratch that. He wanted to do a lot more than that but he took a deep breath and reigned in his desire.

“Don’t worry sweetheart. We are going to get you home and figure this out.”

With superhuman strength, Dean backed up, called Sam over and got back in the driver’s seat. For the next few hours, they drove home and it was unbearably tense. The car smelled like sex, even with all of the windows rolled down. Y/N had been making an effort to keep her panting and sexy moaning as quiet as possible but every small sound was deafening to Dean’s ears. He turned some music on to help distract them all but regardless, they sat with their teeth gritted. Every time she came she would cry out and it took everything he had in him to keep driving and ignore her. At one point it became too much and they had to pull over to put hand cuffs on Y/N to keep her from rubbing herself.

When they finally got back to the bunker, Y/N had finally tired herself out a bit and was mewling in her sleep. Dean gently carried her to her room, settling her into bed before quickly leaving. Finally, he couldn’t help himself anymore. He stripped out of his clothes, locked himself in the bathroom, and imagined her and the noises he had been listening to all night. Turning on the shower he didn’t wait for the water to heat before he jumped in and fisted his throbbing cock. Under the icy cold water, Dean stroked himself until he came hard and fast, groaning in frustration that he wasn’t coming with her.

To be Continued...

A/N: This is my first fan fiction so I am nervous but really excited to share it with you. I would love to hear any feedback you have to give. Any mistakes are mine. Thank you for reading! :)

#dean winchester #sam winchester #dean x reader #spn #spn fanfic series #spn smut #spn fanfiction #spnfandom #dean winchester smut

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billnoncipher · 3 years

Text

Losing Time

This story is not in my usual continuity, but was written for Wendip Week 2021, topic "Time Travel."

for Wendip Week 2021

---

Mabel faced a hard decision when she called in that favor.

She was nearly thirty, she was a successful clothing designer, she had a steady romantic partner, life was good. But then on a visit to Gravity Falls, she visited the grave of good old Waddles, whose heart had given out the previous winter, while she was off in New York.

And she hadn't been able to say goodbye.

And despite the fact that she was all grown up and everything, it ripped at her heart—that she hadn't said farewell to her most favorite pet of all time. It wasn't that he hadn't been well cared for—Soos saw to that, giving the pig all the comforts and plenty of food. It wasn't that he was cut off in his youth—seventeen is a good long life for a pig. It's just that—

Well, now she knew how Dipper felt.

Speaking of whom.

Dipper and Wendy were coming up on their tenth wedding anniversary, they had adorable twins, age six, names Alexander and Amanda, and they lived in the Mystery Shack. Grunkles Stan and Ford still technically owned the place, and Soos ran it, but over the years he and Melody had expanded it until their own growing family caused Soos to have a separate house built just across the road, and he and his family of six—he, Melody, Benny, Betty, Alma, and little Stanley—had made the short move. Dipper had inherited Grunkle Ford's role as investigator of the weird, Wendy was a nationally-known consultant on forestry issues, and they took over the living space that Soos had left vacant.

Ford, now semi-retired, still came over to work with Dipper down in the secret labs when some project was afoot. Grunkle Stan came over to help when the Shack was swamped with tourists in vacation season, but he spent a lot of his time visiting casinos all over the world, where his odd luck always brought him a steady income.

The attic bedroom had become disused.

"Can I stay?" Mabel asked in a small voice just at sunup that day. "Just for a couple weeks?"

"Sure, Mabes!" Wendy said. "Any time, you know that."

Dipper, now sporting a goatee and wearing glasses to correct mild myopia, said, "Sis, what's wrong?"

With a sad smile, Mabel said, "You can tell, huh? Just getting all sentimental. Missing Waddles."

"Oh," Dipper said. "That. We're sorry you couldn't make it back in January."

"It was so unexpected," Wendy said. "He was OK, you know, kinda slow and sleepy all the time, and then one morning we found him in his stall. He'd passed in his sleep."

"He was comfortable to the end," Dipper said. "The heat was on. He didn't freeze or anything. He looked peaceful."

"We buried him down the hill," Wendy told her. "Come on, we'll walk you down."

The place was pretty, a small clearing off to the right of the Mystery Trail. Grass had greened the mound, dewy now with the dawn, and—Mabel couldn't help sobbing—Dipper and Wendy had put up a marker, one of those you could buy for a cherished dog or cat. It read,

---

WADDLES

2012-2029

Always Loved

---

"Could you just leave me here for a few minutes?" asked Mabel.

Dipper hugged her. "Sure, Sis," he said. "Take y our time."

Wendy hugged her, too. "You gave him a good life," she said.

When the two had left, Mabel took a deep breath and took something that looked like a thick button from her jeans pocket. She held it between finger and thumb, close to her lips, and said, "OK, Blendin Blandin, you owe me one."

And without fuss, explosions, or special-effects noise, he was there, beside her, in his old uniform. "M-Ma-Mabel," he said, smiling. "Hi. It's be-been a wh-while."

"Yeah," she said. "You're looking—exactly the same. How's Time Baby?"

"Te-te-teething," Blendin said with a grimace. "The ne-next thou-thousand years are go-gonna be hard. I gu-guess you want your fa-favor now?"

"I do," she said. "Waddles passed away last January. I don't want to bring him back to life or anything. I've learned better than that. But I didn't get to see him before he went, and I really want to visit him one last time. So—could I borrow a time tape?"

"I pro-promised," he said. "I always carry a sp-spare these da-days. Here."

"And I also need your advice," Mabel said, accepting the heavy time-travel device. "I want to visit Waddles on the happiest day of his whole life."

"You-you'll have to a-avoid meeting yourself," Blendin warned. "That would be cat-cata-catas—bad."

"Agreed," she said.

"Let me find out how to se-set the co-coordinates, then," he said. "Just a se-second."

He blinked out of existence for just three seconds, then reappeared, slapping at his hair, which was smoldering. "Th-that was two we-weeks of hard wo-work!" he said. "Lucky this-this is m-my va-vacation month. OK, I've reviewed Wa-Waddles' s li-life and this will ta-take you to the ex-exact day when he was happiest. You can ha-have the wh-whole day, or eight hours any-anyway, bu-but remember to a-avoid me-meeting yourself."

"Will do."

Blendin set the time tape, warned, "It will br-bring you ba-back to the present automatically. Ha-have a g-good time-tr-trip."

The strange noiseless explosion, a moment of spinning disorientation, and poof! there she was, at the edge of the woods behind the Shack. The sun was just rising.

"Out you go," she heard a girl's voice say from the back door.

She saw a rectangle of yellow light. Oh, my God, that's me, in my old sleep shirt! I'm twelve! I'm so young!

Her younger self held the door for Waddles—He's so cute and tiny!—and the pig stepped out, sniffed the air, and waddled over close to the woods to take care of his morning business.

Let's see. I always let him out, then had breakfast, then called him back in, so I have about half an hour before I have to duck out of sight.

"Waddles," she called softly.

He heard and galumphed over to her. He knew her. Her different size, her different voice, didn't matter. She scooped him up. "Oh, I love you!" she said as he curled into a ball and nuzzled her cheek. "Let's go for a walk."

She set him down, and they went down the Mystery Trail, past the Bottomless Pit—not yet fenced off—and as far as the bonfire clearing, where she sat on a log and played with him, laughing through tears. "I'm gonna have to say goodbye, later," she whispered. "But remember, no matter what, I'll always love you!"

Too soon she heard her own younger voice calling, probably for the second time and more loudly, "Waddles!"

"Go on," she told the pig, patting his bottom. He trotted back to the other Mabel, his Mabel.

What day is this? Mabel wondered. What day made him happiest?

She sat too long. Someone spoke, startling her. "Whoops, sorry, didn't know anybody was here!"

Wendy.

Mabel stood up. "I was just, uh—I used to come here when I was a girl—" she began.

"Mabel?" Wendy asked, blinking and staring. "Mabel? Is that you?"

"Haven't changed all that much, have I?" she asked. "Oh, my God, you're so young! Can—can I hug you?"

She was a little bit taller than the fifteen-year-old Wendy, who would add a few inches to her height in the next two years. Mabel couldn't help crying again. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to let anyone see me. Time travel. I came back to—to visit Waddles."

"Oh, man," Wendy said. "Dipper's told me about this kind of stuff! Come on back to the Shack and surprise him!"

"No, I can't," Mabel said. "Don't even tell him you met me. That would cause problems with time."

"Oh."

Something in Wendy's voice hit her then. "Uh—what's wrong, Wendy?"

"Just—just the end of summer," Wendy faltered. "I—I hate that you and Dip are goin' home today."

Oh, my God! Of course! Waddles thought I was gonna leave him, and I nearly had to, but Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford made the bus driver take him aboard—of course he was happiest on that day!

"Oh, yeah," Mabel said. "Our birthday was yesterday. We turned thirteen."

"Technical teens," Wendy said with a ghost of a grin. A tear ran down her cheek.

"But you don't have to cry," Mabel said.

"I—I guess I can tell you a secret," Wendy said. She sat on the log, and Mabel sat beside her. "See, Dipper admitted to me a while back that he has a crush on me. I already knew, but I had to let him down. You know, me fifteen, him twelve. But now he's going away, and I'll never see him again, and—I just can't tell him I'm kinda-sorta in love with him, too. It's hard, Mabel."

Mabel bit her lip. "Listen," she said. "I may get in big trouble because of this, but—OK, I'm gonna say it. You gotta give Dipper a note. Have all his friends here sign it. You sign it, too. Here's the most important part—write on it 'See you next summer.' And wait for him. He'll come back. And he'll grow up, Wendy. And if you wait for him—it's gonna happen. I promise. Just stay in touch, and—most important—when the time comes, the age difference won't mean a thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Trust me, I know. OK, I've got a few hours today. I'm gonna stay close to the Shack and get in as much time with Waddles as I can. Then I'm going back to the future, and thirteen-year-old Mabel and Dipper are going back to Piedmont. But he doesn't just have a crush, Wendy. He really and truly loves you. So write the note, give it to him before he gets on the bus, and things will all work out. Promise me?"

"Yeah. I promise."

"Oh—and tell Grunkle Stan that when the time comes for us to leave, to make sure Waddles gets on the bus, too! I—Oh, I love you like a sister, Wendy! You won't believe how happy you're gonna be with Dip."

"That—that means a lot to me, Mabes," Wendy whispered.

"OK, you'd better get back. Don't say anything to anyone about this. Be sure to do the note thing. Oh, and Wendy—do me one more favor?"

"Sure, what?"

"Tell Pacifica that Mabel's waiting—in the future. Don't explain."

"All right," Wendy said with a lopsided smile. "I'll do it." She mimed zipping her lip.

The day passed. Out of her eight hours, Mabel spent about three in Waddles's company as her brother and her younger self got ready to leave Gravity Falls. She spent more time standing out of sight, watching things unfold—finally the kids coming out, glum, with their suitcases, the bus pulling up, Dipper and Mabel and—finally—Waddles climbing aboard. And all their friends running as far as they could to see the twins and the pig off.

She stood alone near the Shack. The flash came. Benjamin stood there. "How d-did it go?"

"It went good," Mabel said, handing over the time tape. "I said goodbye." She sniffled and a tear ran down her cheek. "I'll still miss him but I—I can handle it now. Uh, how much time has gone by while I—?"

"A m-minute," Blendin said. "Well, I-I g-guess we're e-even."

"Thanks, Blendin. Goodbye."

"N-no, I d-don't think it's g-goodbye," he said, smiling. "I'll s-see you again. In time."

He flashed out of existence.

"Aunt Mabel!" It was red-headed Amanda, running down the hill to meet her. "Hi!"

Mabel swept her up in her arms. "Hi, Sweetie! Where's your bro-bro?"

Squirming, Amanda laughed. "He can't find his shoes!"

Carrying the six-year old up the hill to the Shack, Mabel laughed. "When your dad was six, he had the same problem! All the time! Every morning!" She paused and looked back at the green grave. "Hey, let me tell you a story about the most special pig in the whole world," she said, and they went back to join the family.

---

The End

#Wendip #Wendip Week #fereality #gravity falls

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vintagedolan · 3 years

Text

hiraeth part four - magnanimity

Koa almost didn’t make it to her senior prom.

Not the day of though. No, Kahua was waiting patiently by the door ready for her to come around the corner from her small bedroom in her dress, right on time.

That dress - that was the reason she almost didn’t go.

It wasn’t anything that special, really. It was a light green that complimented her rich skin tone, hugged her in all the right places and made her feel confident from the moment she tried it on in the store with her friends.

The price tag had her putting it right back onto the rack, trying to convince herself it wasn’t as pretty as it really was. So she spent the rest of her shopping trip in the clearance section, trying to look at the various colored fabric through her rose colored glasses that she used to get through most of her days.

When she got home, her father was waiting for her with the widest smile on his face. In his hands, was the tip jar from the boat. Nahele had decorated it when he was younger, and the paint was faded on the outside, the shaka barely even visible. But Koa wasn’t looking at the glass. She was looking through it, at all the small crumpled bills that filled it up to the brim.

“I’ve been saving them. I wanted you to be able to get a nice dress for your dance.”

She’d never seen the look of pride in his eyes shine so bright.

She took the jar with tears in her eyes, and that was the day she swore she’d never accept a gift so big again.

But Grayson Dolan didn’t know about that. In fact, he didn’t really know anything about her, other than the fact that she was late.

Quietly on his phone, without a mention to anyone else, he checked the bus routes. 10 minutes behind schedule.

Sure enough, at 11:10 Koa was at the gate, waiting for him to let her in. Her hair was frizzy again, and she seemed even more nervous and frazzled than the last time she was there. She had a notebook tucked in her arm, with three different colored pens shoved in the spirals.

He opened the door for her, and she stepped into the air conditioning with a deep breath of relief.

“Sorry I’m late. Before you start telling me how much you hate me, can I use your bathroom?”

Grayson knew why she needed it; he knew why she took her bag with her too. He almost said something but he bit his tongue, rolled his eyes a bit at her dig and pointed her to the guest bathroom in the hall.

He wasn’t supposed to know. In all honesty, the fact that he did know was creepy, even though he hadn’t meant to notice the box in her hands at the bus stop. So instead, he leaned up against the island and waited for her to come back, running over what he wanted to say in his head.

She came back out quickly - she’d pulled her hair up into a bun, with a few stray curls falling down around her temples. He couldn’t tell if it was black or dark brown in the lighting of the kitchen, but it complemented her tan skin well as she settled into one of the chairs.

“Alright, lay it on me, what’s up.” Koa opened up her notebook and picked out a black pen, clicking it open before she looked up.

Grayson had forgotten his question.

“Do you want - uh, are you thirsty? We’ve got uh -” He walked over to the fridge to stall, opening it up to realize that they definitely needed to go to the grocery. “Uh, we have water. That’s it though.”

Koa raised an eyebrow, but bit her tongue. “Yeah, water would be good. Thanks.”

He poured her a glass, sliding it across the counter.

“We’ve got straws too, if you want. Reusable though. Save the turtles.”

“Spoken like a true marine conservationist.” In that moment, Koa thought of home, and her father, probably out prepping his boat for a morning tour.

The silence was thick, and she sighed as she put the straw down into her glass.

“Grayson.”

“Hmm?”

“You wanted to have a meeting. So... you gonna tell me why I’m here?”

He chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment, and then he relaxed his shoulders.

“I was a bit of a dick to you the other day. And I wanted to apologize for that. That’s not who I am, and you didn’t deserve that. So, sorry.”

The knot in Koa’s gut loosened just a fraction.

“Accepted. I get that it’s a big ask, having someone write a book about you.”

“Yeah, I’m still not thrilled on the idea. But I should have at least given you the chance to pitch your idea for it before I shut you down. I’ve had that done to me, and it’s shitty. So I guess I’m wanted you to come over so I could hear your pitch.”

Koa froze.

She hadn’t really thought that far.

“I... well I didn’t really make a pitch. It’s not really supposed to be a me thing. It’s an us thing. I’m just here to put what you want into a book... into book form. If that makes sense.”

“Yeah no, I get that. Guess we’ll have to see if Ethan’s got any ideas cause I haven’t really thought that far.”

Silence fell again, and their eyes met. She looked just as nervous as she had sitting at the bus stop, and it made Grayson frown.

“It sounds like you care about the environment, you know, with all this.” Koa picked her straw up and let it clink back down.

“That’s an understatement,” Grayson chuckled, scratching at the back of his neck. But he soon realized his joke didn’t land, his eyes going a bit wide. Had she not seen any of their podcast videos on veganism? Conservation? What about all the posts on their instagrams?

“You really don’t know anything about me do you?”

It came out stronger than he meant it to, and he wished he could take it back.

“Well you haven’t really given me the chance to get to know you. But that’s something else we could write about. Boundaries.”

Sledge rounded the corner with his tail wagging and a squeaky toy in his mouth, bringing it up to Koa and dropping it by her feet. She smiled down at him and picked it up, wiggling it around and faking him out a few times before she tossed it down the hallway.

“I guess this wasn’t the most productive of meetings. If you wanna write a book about twins, you kinda need both parts huh.” She laughed to herself, patting her legs until Sledge came back to her. She ruffled his fur, watching his ears flop around in the most adorable way.

It made Grayson smile - it was the first time he’d heard her laugh. It was deeper than he expected; a peaceful sound.

“Yeah, I should have thought about that. I appreciate you coming though, I know it’s not easy for you to get out here. I was actually gonna ask you about that.”

She stopped petting the dog for a moment, brushing her hair behind her ear so she could see him.

“What do you mean? Ask me about what?”

“I was gonna talk to Ethan about it first, but I’m sure he wouldn’t care. If you wanna borrow a car while you’re working with us, that’s fine. I mean, you’d have to pay for gas and stuff but it would make it easier for you to get from your place to here.”

She sat up slowly.

In the back of her mind, she heard her brother. He was one of the only people who ever really got to see her so angry. If he were there, if he could see her face, she knew how he’d describe her. Pele. The Hawaiian goddess of lava, fire.

You knew better than to anger her.

Koa felt it bubbling up inside of her, a mixture of hot anger and burning embarrassment that tinged her brown skin pink all the way to her ears.

“I don’t need charity from anyone, especially not you.”

Grayson balked, and then he was backpedaling.

“Koa, I didn’t mean it like that. That’s not what I meant, I just wanted to help. I... I saw you at CVS the other night, at the bus stop.”

“Oh so you’re stalking me now? Great. Awesome. Not creepy at all.”

“No, it was just - I was at Monty’s, I just wanted to make sure you got on the bus okay. They aren’t always the safest, and-”

“I handled myself just fine before you, I sure as fuck don’t need a man looking out for me. I can take care of myself.”

“Koa, please-”

She was already packing her things, shoving her pen behind her ear and snatching up her notebook as she headed for the door.

Ethan appeared around the corner of the house, his smile radiating towards her through the front door.

When she swung it open, he was beaming.

“Hey you! I didn’t know you were gonna be here today, what’s up?”

“I was just leaving.”

His smile disappeared quickly, and his eyes flickered to Grayson automatically.

“Oh? Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine. Next time you schedule a meeting, give me a 15 minute arrival window. My ride isn’t the most reliable.”

“Uh... what?”

She felt her tears prickling behind her eyes against her will, nose burning hot deep in her nostrils as she fought them.

“Just ask your brother. He can tell you all about it.”

#hiraeth #sweet stupid boy ugh

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spookyheaad · 3 years

Text

Haphephobia talk

BIG TRIGGER WARNING: brief mentions of rape/coercion, mentions of suicidal ideation, self harm, physical and mental abuse, as well as dehumanization. This one is kinda heavy.

Hi again! Currently horizontal on my couch because I have full body aches from the second covid shot and my head is killing me, but I expected this to happen as it’s normal for the second vaccine to knock you out for a day or two.

Anyway, I had a realization earlier that I write both Gild Tesoro of “One Piece”, as well as Death from “Darksiders” with Haphephobia - which is “a fear of touching or being touched”. While I write them with this phobia, it manifests within them differently, and I figured I would share some differences, and headcanons for both characters (it’s been so long since I’ve talked about my sassy depressed Nephilim husband; I miss you, Death ❤️❤️). Also with Death, I ship him with an OC I created, named Zemira. I don’t think I’ve shared a lot about her on tumblr, but I’ll be making a whole post about her another time; just know I’ll be mentioning her occasionally.

So I’ll be talking about Death’s haphephobia first, it’s a little more heavy (deadass trigger warning here for the brief mentions of rape. Skip this part if you need to):

So I must start out with the obligatory mentioning of that accursed chapter from The Abomination Vault:

Death and War have to seek out Lilith and gain information from her. Death is viciously adamant for War to stay outside & away from that woman, but war protests and wishes to come in with him. Death, nearly resorting to beating his brother into submission, demands him to stay outside, and War finally relents.

When the eldest Horseman goes in to see Lilith, one of the first things she says to him is something along the lines of “this isn’t a social call, is it?”. I truly forget what else is mentioned, but there are a few times where Lilith tries to mention things of a (supposed) sexual nature towards Death, and he abruptly and angrily cuts her off. The one thing I remember Lilith saying to Death was her saying that Death was always a “sensitive boy” which makes my stomach fucking churn.

What is heavily implied in this scene, to me, is that Death and Lilith at some point in the past, had sexual encounters with one another that Death is very much extremely embarrassed and ashamed of, and with Lilith’s ability to seduce any being regardless if they want to partake or not, it’s safe to say that Death could have possibly been coerced into said sexual activity. Lilith’s ability to seduce is described almost like a date-rape drug to me, it causes people to fall under some kind of spell or go into a trance; what is a big uh-oh to me is when Death describes that War would be weak to Lilith’s wiles, or her tricks. So she is definitely capable of coercing people in any way to get what she wants. Also fucking keep in mind that Lilith refers to Death as her SON, which adds a whole new level of “what the fuck” to that situation; it’s just icky.

I feel that Death, because of this run in (or run-ins) with Lilith, developed a massive fear of being touched, which is backed up in canon in Darksiders 2. He does not allow anyone to physically touch him under any circumstance; when Death arrived in the Makers’ realm, Eideard touched his chest where the amulet pieces are embedded. Death recoils quickly and with a venomous growl, states: “Don’t touch me!”

Then of course when he goes to visit Lilith, she touches his chest as well, and he physically pushes her hand away from his body. She also refers to herself as Death’s mother, and Death angrily states: “You are not my mother!” Also from the moment Death sets foot in Lilith’s domain, he is not thrilled to be there, and acts very different towards her; more defensive, more on guard it seems.

So this headcanon stems from all of that; he will not let anyone touch him, it’s just that severe. Where my OC comes in, I actually have a story on AO3 titled “Haphephobia” and it shows how Death & Zemira try to get past this aversion to touch, so 1.) Zemira can give him affection and 2.) Death can allow himself to be loved. I’ll link it here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29860320/chapters/73476759

Death cannot even bring himself to hold her hand in the very beginning. So Zemira started there, holding his hand, physical closeness, and very slowly, started working to larger forms of touch. Obviously this gave Death massive amounts of anxiety, so this is why the process is extremely slow. It makes it even more important to go slow because Death tries to hide any weak emotions, so the physical and mental stress he puts himself under is tenfold.

I think that’s all for Death. His Haphephobia is extremely severe, from the specific traumas he has experienced, possibly being forced into sexual activity with his god damn “”mother””, as well as hiding his sensitivity and kindness (my headcanons for why he does that is a whole other post waiting to be written) and just not believing he is deserving of such love and care.

Ok, now for Tesoro (specific Trigger warnings here for mentions of self-harm, suicidal ideation, physical/mental abuse)

So I just recently realized that I wrote Tesoro with symptoms of Haphephobia; also compared to Death, it isn’t as severe or debilitating, but no less harmful to the person going through it.

For Tesoro I think it was sparked by a mix of guilt and insecurity, obviously as well as his past abuse from both his mother and the Celestial Dragons. But in Film Gold it’s obvious that he doesn’t have an issue with being touched, I’m referencing the scene with the pool girls. I think in canon, he’s on high alert when someone goes to touch him, especially if it’s someone he is not familiar with, or does not like. It’s more of an automatic thing that he learned to suppress over time, especially because he absolutely craves attention and affection, and his fear of touch gets in the way of that.

So in a way, he did learn how to work through it, but it wasn’t proper or healthy, and because of that it’s still there in the back of his mind. I also believe that he doesn’t like people pinning him by the wrists/hands/arms or holding him down in any way, or being bound (sexual or non sexual, he does not like it). It triggers severe panic and flashbacks, so, it’s a big no.

In terms of if he were to be around Stella, it becomes heightened. It’s not that he’s afraid of her; he knows her well. He is afraid for her sake, that he would hurt her in some way simply by allowing her to touch him. All through his life, Tesoro was made to feel like he wasn’t worth the space he took up in his existence. His mother did not love him, the one person that could have given him some form of gentle gesture. She instead hurt him, screamed at him, made him feel worthless. Then we all know about the celestial dragons; they didn’t even see Tesoro as a human, and that mixed with the beatings from both the celestial dragons and his mother, he is weary to allow others to get close.

After Stella died, In his heart of hearts Tesoro genuinely thought that he was unloveable, mainly because of his mother. The one woman who brought him into this world didn’t care about his dreams or his well-being, so then how can anyone else? Then, when he found the single person that cared about him, she was whisked away from him without a second thought. Tesoro feels doomed to observe yet never experience the love and kindness that the world had to offer.

That mixed with Haphephobia makes him very cautious of others, and in the case of Stella, vehemently afraid. He loves her, and she loves him in return; Tesoro knows this full well, (we’re headed to the “if Stella survived” AU) after they reunite he is so afraid to touch her and it’s painful to him when she touches his body. It’s another source of frustration and anger because he knows that he is still in love with her, but his own body is trying to push her away. He would tear open his body for the apprehension to leave, to finally feel the comfort he yearned for within Stella’s embrace. No more fear, no more being brought to tears because he felt he didn’t deserve her kindness, no more guilt.

Both he & Death feel unloveable but for different reasons:

Death feels unloveable because of the atrocities he has committed, specifically the Nephilim Genocide & the creation of the Grand Abominations. He feels knee-crushing amounts of guilt for taking part in such events, and he puts up a facade of being an uncaring monster, when he is very much the opposite. He has kindness to give, yet is afraid to show it because of that idea that he is to be seen as nothing but an attack dog for the Charred Council. But this is also the same Nephilim who was so tired of making things that took life, and chose to make something that gave life instead, and gifted said item to his sister, Fury. This is the same Nephilim who took his own life to prove that his youngest brother War did not start the apocalypse. He cares so deeply, has insurmountable love to give, yet feels incapable of doing so.

Tesoro thinks he is unloveable because the world conditioned him to view himself as such. The extreme abuse he suffered told him that he is trash; an afterthought whose only use is as a punching bag or a wasted body to rend flesh from. Ants had more worth in this world than he, and Tesoro knew it. All it took was Stella, one person, for him to see that he is worthy of such a thing, that nothing that went on in their pasts was his fault, and that he does deserve to be given gentle touches, soft reassuring hugs, feather-light kisses, and that he is able to be loved.

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cosmiclatte28 · 3 years

Text

Purpose (Jeno x you)

a/n : sorry for ranting in the previous post, but here is my first oneshot of Jeno x reader ...please leave a comment or just anything so I know what to do and not do in my future works :D

happy MLK day! Enjoy the long weekend aka monday break!

warning : major character with disability! Please proceed only if you feel okay with it. Jaehyun is your brother :D (sorry if I use hyung accidentally, it’s a habit of mine. I make my characters always calling the older brother hyung, so it sounds less “romantic”)

word count : 3.0K

Check out my other works in my masterlist

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ . . ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

“Jeno, do you ever wonder what your purpose in life is?” you rolled to the side of your body and rested your weight on one of your supporting arms, eyes aimlessly piercing into Jeno’s side face.

The said man who was staring at the ceiling turned his head to look at you. In this small bed you share with your best friend, he pulls his face back to give some respectful distance in between.

He glances back to the ceiling and hums, “Umm interesting, let me think of it.” He ponders for a while and your hand accidentally brush his. He laughs when a sudden memory comes into his mind and he ignored your hand that’s still lingering next to his.

“Tell me! You’re laughing! Did you know your purpose of existence in life?” you shake his taller and built body. His arm really feels buff and hard right now. Sometimes you wonder where the hell did your ten years old lanky best friend go. You’re his partner in crime since third grade and both of you graduated junior school together, even now you’re counting days to your senior school graduation still with him. Only that puberty hits Jeno Lee like a truck and bam here lies a young charismatic man lying with you on your bed as if it is nothing. (Well it is nothing right? Just two best friends sharing a bed. Lmao okay sorry author is writing this at 3.30 am)

He giggles and bops your nose, “No. I am not going to answer it.”

You pout, unaware of the effect it gives to the young man beside you. “Fine, I guess my purpose in this life is to bug and bother you.” You taunt and Jeno really wants to smack your head right now, but that is something he will never do.

“Fine if your purpose is to disturb me, then my purpose is to bear with it and make sure you never go beyond your line or hurt yourself.” He says this out loud, and continues in his heart, “Again, I’ll never let anything, or anyone hurt you again.”

Jeno lifts his arm to run a smoothing hand on your hair and you’re no longer surprised by this. Actions like this is common between you and Jeno.

“I haven’t washed my hair, stop touching it,” you run your hand over your head to stop him.

He chuckles and just ignores your word, “I don’t care, it’s not dirty you know. You smell sweet.” He sniffs into your hair and indeed it is fresh. You’re being over insecure.

“Fine. So, what time is it?” you cock your head to the side, showing him you’re asking a question.

Jeno runs his eyes into the clock hanging in your room, “It’s almost five. Your brother will be home after this around six. Do you need anything?” he asks when he sees you sit up from your laying position and grabbing your cane.

You nod, “Can you bring me to the café shop by the end of the road? It’s Jaehyun’s birthday today and I want to give him a cake.”

Jeno couldn’t help but feel his heart swells with emotion. Even after the unfortunate accident that hit you and your brother on the road, but only took your vision away, you never hate your brother at all. Jeno remembers how petrified he was the day he got a call from his mother telling him to rush to the hospital because you ran into an accident.

Three years ago

“Catch me if you can! I will finish the cake before you can get any.” You taunt at your older brother and run with all your might to get home faster than he did so you can stuff the whole cake into your mouth.

Jaehyun was still paying the cake when you ran with it already. He yelled out loud to you when you ran whilst looking back into him. He was too late.

Jaehyun saw your body flew through the concrete and the box of cake you were running with was already crushed over. The owner of the van got down and quickly run you and Jaehyun to the hospital. Jaehyun hugged you throughout the way to the hospital, his white shirt is already drained in dark red blood. His happy face he had that day for turning 20 was gone. He can only wish his one and only sister will make it alive.

The hospital did their best in trying to bring your consciousness alive. Your head hit the concrete, but luckily there are no serious injuries in your head. Fractures are found in your left side of the body but what hurts Jaehyun and your parents the most, was the fact that you will not be seeing anything in less than three months.

The experts were called, and everyone agreed that sadly nothing can be done to prevent you from facing the total darkness. From the age of 14 you lost your sight, you lost your friends, you lost your confidence, you lost your will to live. You wanted to die, but Jeno would never let that happen. He saw potentials inside you, and he saw the beauty you have within your heart that more people should see.

Jeno was the first non-family member to visit you after the news was spread. He was the first one to stay by your side and the last one from your school society.

You were suggested to move to a special need school, but with Jeno’s constant reassurance and help you stay with him in the regular school. After school, Jeno will accompany you learn braille and follow you to your post-traumatic therapy too. He even listened to the specialist called to teach you how to walk with a cane and how to use your cane as your second eye. He did struggle a lot to not play around with your service dog, because Goldy (your golden retriever who helps you walk in public) is not supposed to be friendly, Goldy needs to be alert!

Your family luckily didn’t abandon you, but they were sadly not in the same country as you were right now. Today, you’re only living with Jaehyun and Jeno is practically your neighbour from the flat next door.

Jeno actually did not want to bring you to the same store that caused the dreadful unfortunate event to happen to you. Not in the same day, on the same spot.

“You sure? I can buy it for you while you wait here.” He sounds worried that your post traumatic nerves might act up and calming you down in a crowded room is not easy.

You nod your head, “It’s been three years Jeno. Don’t worry. Jaehyun has never eaten that cake for three years! He did not want to go there. I guess my brother is more traumatized than me. I also want that damn cake.” You already stand up and grab a jacket. Without his help, you’re already good in dressing up. If you wear glasses, no one will know about your condition. The fractures healed perfectly, your face is still as pretty as one can be, it’s just that your eyeball did not spark life in them.

Jeno sighs, he can do nothing if you’re this persistent. “Okay, but please just this time hold my hands okay?”

You nod. Usually you ask Jeno to just walk beside you a several step behind, just to guard you. You’re good in walking with the help of Goldy. You never want to be a burden, although Jeno repeatedly tells you he doesn’t see you as a burden.

The tall man also takes his jacket and wallet. He stands by your side, gives his arm to you and you take it gently. Your right hand is holding Goldy’s leash and with Jeno by your side, three of you make your way to the bakery.

“Nice weather, it’s not crowded eh?” you ask when you feel the gentle breeze and rather quiet sound of the road. Usually this road is busy but not at the moment.

“Yes, I think it’s not the rush hours yet. We should hurry before it gets crowded. Hold on tight we’re crossing the road.” Jeno looks right and left. When he feels your grip tighten, he smiles to himself as he crosses the road with you carefully. Finally, you’re not as stubborn as usual!

You step into the store and automatically a smile comes to your face when the fragrance smell of sweet fresh baked pastries tickle your nose. “Hmmm this is yummy! We should consider living next to a bakery Jen!” you excitedly squeeze his arm you’re still holding on to and Jeno just smiles at your remarks.

“Do you want to sit down? I can order you a tea while they customize the cake.” Jeno asks, you deny it saying that you just want to go back quick before Jaehyun did.

So, after you do your ordering and finished the payment, Jeno only has to help with writing down the customized message. After 15 minutes, the box is set in Jeno’s right hand while his left hand is occupied with your firm grip.

You enjoy the short walking distance, simply enjoying the light breeze of the gentle wind and stopping for a moment to inhale the different smell in every block.

With your sharp nose, you know when you’ve passed by the coffee shop, the flower boutique, and your favourite Pizza place. You’ve ordered food for dinner and they’re already in your kitchen, you just need to reheat it.

Jaehyun drives his car back home, it’s a wonderful day. He got promoted thanks to the successful product launching his team did last month and today is also his birthday. Although a small part of his heart still grief over his own sister’s lost of sight on his birthday, he always try to cover that guilt because you’ve been repeatedly telling him not to bother it. He doesn’t know what he did in the previous life to actually deserves a really sincere and kind sister like you. That is also why Jaehyun loves you with all his might and heart.

He steps his foot into the comfortable apartment he shares home with his sister, and a trail of laugh echoes through the room when he sees you and Jeno holding a cake with a well decorated place. Jeno rushed his décor, simply putting on Happy Birthday Jaehyun balloons and draping a golden curtain over the bare walls.

“Happy Birthday Jaeeee!!” you scream on top of your lungs and open your arms wide. Jaehyun picks you up in his hug and turns you around, “Thank you! And you too Jeno!” he pats the younger’s shoulder.

“Blow the candles!!” you clap your hands and Jaehyun did what you say. He wipes a tear that escapes his eyes but quickly covers it up with a smile. He secretly wishes so that your smile will always be this wide and he wishes to experience more happy times with you.

“Both of you don’t have to do this you know,” Jaehyun says after putting the final heated up dish on the dining table. Although he is the one having birthday, he didn’t want you to set the table up. So, here you are seated on your chair, with Jeno on the other side.

“She insisted.” Jeno snickers.

You swear if he is on your side right now, you’ll slap him. Lucky he is far from your reach.

“Can’t you just be thankful hyung?” you roll your eyes and hufth.

Jaehyun lovingly ruffles your hair and kisses your cheek “Araseo, Thank you sweetie and you too Jeno! Thanks for dealing with this super annoying princess.” His tone sounds playful and you laugh at it.

“Jeno is whipped for me, he won’t bother having to take care of me all the time. Right Jeno?” you ask him this as a matter of keeping the spirit up. It’s as if you’re only playing around to Jaehyun’s joke but deep inside your heart… you did wish Jeno will want to take care of you til death takes you away from him.

“Stop that (y/n)! You’re making him uncomfortable,” Jaehyun mumbles as the three of you start digging into the dinner.

Jeno just laughs along, he is used to the two of you teasing and bickering with each other. He loves witnessing this and being in it. He loves the warm feeling of being “home” whenever you are around. “Tell him the truth Jeno! Did you hate me for being annoying?” you suddenly feel a bit sad to ask him this. What if Jaehyun is right? What if Jeno is actually tired of you? Afterall he can get way better and prettier girls. Why did he stay with you if he doesn’t like you. You used to ask yourself that when you feel lonely at night.

Jeno looks into you and into Jaehyun. He somewhat senses you feeling down about asking this and that hurts his heart. After glancing at Jaehyun, and receiving a nod from the older brother. Jeno finally answers your question.

“You’re not annoying. Even if you are sometimes, you’re my annoying princess. Look, don’t be sad… I’ll never leave your side okay?” Jeno reaches his hand out to take yours into his. He gently take your palm into his and his thumb strokes your palm calmly. Sending a reassuring feeling to you.

You feel your cheeks burning and your stomach bursting with butterflies. Your heart can explode right now, with this soft touch of Jeno and how his sure answer ends all of your silly scenarios.

“You will never leave my side?” You echo back to him.

Jaehyun winks to Jeno and secretly leaves his chair. You snap your head to the side (luckily the right side because Jaehyun is on your right) “Where are you going?”

Jaehyun mumbles a quick excuse, “Needed to call someone for work, just remember… sorry it’s urgent, go continue without me.”

You return your head to face Jeno and the young boy is already thinking of his next line.

His thumb caresses your hand again and you love that sensation.

“So, to answer your previous answer... I love you (y/n).” his sincere honey deep voice sooths your ear and a warm sensation envelopes your heart.

“I love you and I will never leave you. I’ll be by your side just like now, until forever. Don’t feel bad for needing my help, I’m always happy when I can help you. Instead, I feel sad when I see you trying to do everything by yourself… It’s like you didn’t want my help.” Your bestfriend explains his own feeling to you.

You quickly shake your head, “Sorry Jeno, I didn’t mean to reject your help. Gosh, I’m just feeling like I’ve asked too much from you and that I should stop. It’s my fault.”

Jeno stands and moves to sit next to you, he brings a strand of hair away from your face clearing the view he loves and he wishes to wake up to every day.

“Don’t worry, I know you don’t mean it. Now, don’t hesitate to call me okay? I’ll be here for you.” Jeno gently touches your chin.

You nod and blush, “I love you too Jeno, it’s mutual.” You lean in closer, wishing Jeno can catch your signal and leads you to the thing you secretly put in your number one wishlist to do with Jeno.

He gets your signal, with a small smile the sweet man pulls you slowly into his face and as you tilt your head to the side, Jeno’s lips finally found yours.

It was fleeting but the sensation lingers for a while. You’re still busy controlling your heart beat when you feel Jeno already disappear from your side and Jaehun’s foot steps come into the kitchen again.

“So, what did I miss?” he looks into both of you, but judging through the red faces both of you have, he just lets out a small cough and giggles.

“Who’s ready for the desert? Cake is here!” he quickly takes the plates and cuts the cake into smaller portions.

You can successfully focus back on the dinner and continues talking around while enjoying the sweet chocolate mousse cake.

Dinner ends nicely, Jaehyun pushes both of you to the living room while he insists on washing the dishes with loud music blasting on his earphone. He is glad finally both of them come our to each other. He’s frustrated whenever he sees the clear mutual feelings both of you are trying to supress.

Turns out today is indeed a good day.

Jeno hugs you from the side when both of you sit at the sofa. He is cuddling you, who is sleepy from the filling dinner.

“Jeno, did you remember the question I asked you earlier?” you suddenly bring this topic up.

He hums, and holds your hand in his, “I did, I think I know my answer.”

You raise your brow, “What is it? Tell me.”

He steals a quick peck from your lips, “I’m going to find my purpose of living slowly with you by my side. We’ll explore new things everyday together, and when one day I really find my purpose, I’ll make sure you are there and you know it.”

You feel like all the chains and nightmares clinging into your subconsciousness is broken free. The insecure feelings of being less perfect is gone and you trust Jeno with all your heart that he loves you and he will not leave you.

You smile and run a hand on his jawline, “Then I will also hold your hand as I find my purpose in this life too. Thank you Jeno, for always staying by my side. I promise I will also be here for you whenever you feel like the world is against you.”

He kisses your knuckle of the hand that touches his cheek, “I know darling, now if you’re tired just sleep.”

You close your eyes and shifts your body until it is comfortable enough to hug him from the side while leaning into him. “Thank you and I love you Jeno.”

He whispers back, “Love you most (y/n). Sleep tight, sweet dreams” he pecks your forehead and stays until you’re asleep.

Tonight indeed is a good day for everyone of you!

end.

tell me what you think xD

XOXO, cosmic

74 notes · View notes

0606-hyuck · 3 years

Text

BOYFRIEND!TEN

includes:

♡ before the relationship

♡ becoming comfortable/humour

♡ relationships with other members

♡ jealousy/pda/flirting

♡ disagreements

♡ dates/texting/social media

♡ languages/"i love you"

masterlist

enjoy!

wc: 1.5k

♡ before the relationship ♡

you'd been friends with ten for ages before you actually started dating

you were both in each others social circles and because you saw each other so much you ended up being really close friends

ten was always so random and fun to be around

like he was always encouraging you to do wild stuff and embarrass yourself with him

or like sit and gossip about people you knew

and eventually you started getting feelings for him

you don't even know why and you were cursing yourself for having a crush on your weird-ass best friend

one day you were at his for a sleepover and he asked you whether you had a crush and you simply said it was him

you knew that ten was really easygoing and if he didn't like you back then sure, things might be awkward for a little while, but you'd go back to acting like nothing happened pretty quickly

he was surprised but didn't really show it, instead he confessed that he'd liked you for ages as well

"omg wow thats so cool that we both like each other, who knew"

"does that mean we're dating now?"

lmao and just like that you started dating

♡ becoming comfortable/humour ♡

the way ten treated you when you started dating didn't change much

he clowned you and teased you as much as possible

but he was also more affectionate with you

like you'd had a comfortable relationship before and would cuddle together

but now he felt really proud and confident about doing stuff like that

is just so smug that he gets to call himself your boyfriend

a LOT of teasing in your relationship

to the point where everyone is like "do y'all actually like each other or are the jokes about ten's tiny pp just for lolz"

also play-fighting where you'll both end up in a heap of giggles

and it literally comes out of nowhere too

you just be chilling and oop suddenly you're wresting with your boyfriend

you know he's getting a lil too comfortable when he will just fall asleep on you

literally no matter what you're doing, if he's feeling tired he'll just flop on you

lowkey crushing you but it's fine, he's comfortable

"babe, i need to finish this thing"

"i know, lemme just have a quick nap here"

and you'll end up not being able to move because he's fully fallen asleep on you

on the topic of sleeping/cuddling, ten doesn't really mind how you sleep together

he's totally fine being the big spoon

but also he won't say no to sleeping in your arms if you want to be the big spoon

lots of random whispers into your ear to try make you laugh

you're lying there like "??? what is this boy even talking about" but it's entertaining

he'd also randomly poke you in the sides as you're trying to sleep and make you squirm

maybe even tickle you just for fun lol

you two will lie together anywhere

okay so since you're dating ten, you're stuck with yangyang for life

i'm talking in his bed, the couch in the wayv dorm, the subway, everywhere

♡ relationships with other members ♡

since ten is such an older brother figure for him, you automatically become an important person in yangyang's life too bc you're always with ten

but don't be mistaken, yangyang now has another source of material to tease ten with

yangyang loves to pretend that seeing you and ten be affectionate together is physically sickening, and will sometimes bring hendery in on the teasing

likes to tease ten that you're only with him because you're actually secretly blind

but you know that yangyang is really happy for you and ten

likewise, the other members all accept you really fast

probably because you're always at their dorm with ten lol

they all like to tease him and say "omg this must be the end of the earth because ten is dating someone!" but they would be really disappointed if you guys broke up

♡ jealousy/pda/flirting ♡

ten is sooooo greasy with his flirting

he's always pulling really cringey lines out of nowhere

and he KNOWS they're cringey, that's why he says them

also he's really cocky with it too lol

but the second you flirt back he's like "oh my god" and doesn't know how to act

ten absolutely loves showing you off

loves giving you kisses in public, holding your hand, just generally showing the world that you're taken

i reckon it would come from a slightly possessive part of him

like "this is my partner and no one else gets to have them" type beat

but obviously not to the point when it gets abusive lol

he just wants everyone to know you chose him and he's with you

i get the feeling that ten would get jealous if he saw people getting too friendly with you

if he saw someone flirting with you he'd stop it right away

he wouldn't confront the person about it, in fact he probably wouldn't even acknowledge them

he'd just walk over and get your attention and drag you away

♡ disagreements? ♡

honestly i could see his jealousy causing disagreements/arguments sometimes

ten would joke about how you're trying to ditch him for someone else, but you know it's coming from a place of insecurity

he could feel insecure that he's going to lose you

because GAWD DAMN you're so wonderful and you chose him out of everyone??

so he's always worried that you might be looking for other options even when you're just having a friendly conversation with someone

initially you'd tell him to give you space and not be so jealous all the time

but when you actually realise where the jealousy is coming from, you'd feel bad

it would hurt your feelings that ten would think you'd ever cheat on him or flirt while you were dating him

and it would probably take a while for you to understand where each other are coming from

but after awhile and a lot of honest conversations he'd relax and you'd have a better understanding of his insecurities

♡ dates/texting/social media ♡

your dates are always very unplanned and spontaneous

he will just text you something like "meet me down at the store in 15 mins, we're having a picnic at the park"

or you'll go shopping together and pick ugly outfits out for each other

ten is really good at texting you regularly

the texts are...all over the place sometimes, but at least they're consistent

likes to send you pictures of funny things he's seen that day

like maybe a funny hat someone's wearing or a dog with a colourful vest on

also writes really long paragraphs about embarrassing things he's done today

you never get a good morning text

it's always something like "i tripped and accidentally pushed a pregnant lady down the subway stairs and then ran away because i didn't know what to do"

but always very entertaining

around 40% of his social media is pictures of you two together

like don't get me wrong, he loves showing you off, but he also likes showing himself off too LMAOO

he takes really good selfies of you two together though

and they're always really aesthetic with good lighting

likes to do homemade photoshoots with you where you get all dressed up and take pics for insta

even if you don't want to be in a photo yourself, he's making you be his personal photographer

throughout the course of your relationship your photo taking skills have increased tenfold due to the amount of photos he gets you to take of him

but it's always heaps of fun

♡ languages/"i love you" ♡

i think ten would probably prefer to speak with you in english or korean, simply because i feel like he is the most comfortable with them

if your native language was something other than that, i feel it could go one of two ways

either he'd just say "fuck it, what's adding another language to my collection" and learn it really quick

orrrr he would try his best for a little while but be too tired from speaking literally four other languages and just kinda eventually give up lol

it's not because he doesn't want to, it's because he can talk to you in a language you both already know and so he's not worried about a language barrier

ten would be the first one to say "i love you"

you wouldn't be doing anything exciting or unusual when he said it

you'd just be cuddled up on the couch and he'd just say it out of nowhere

mind you this dude is hella whipped for you, so you're not really surprised lol

it would be such a peaceful moment and you'd say it back

and neither of you would make a big deal out of it but you'd both feel really content afterwards

ugh anyways this is cute, stan wayv pls

#neowritingsnet #nct #nct 2020 #nct imagine #nct scenario #nct ten #ten nct #wayv #wayv imagine #wayv scenario #wayv ten #ten wayv #ten #ten lee #hellabts

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fluffymcu · 3 years

Text

Letting Loose

Part SEVENTEEN

This series is TICKLE related.

Series Summary: You’re the little sister of the one and only Captain America. You’re also the youngest girl on the team, so that automatically makes you the avengers’ little princess. And they spoil you as such. They have become your amazing family and you don’t know where you’d be without them. This series will show random adventures and fluffy events in the daily life of the reader and her family, along with an unexpected turn later on as you read.

A/N: I’m so excited to be writing this series! This is my first time writing one and I’m a bit nervous but I hope it all goes well. :) Hope you enjoy!

Word count: 2,986

This morning you, Peter and Ruby Anne had gotten dressed and ready to go out into the city for some good pizza. The three of you made your way down to the kitchen where a few members of the team were. Bucky, Steve, Bruce, and Tony were there, having breakfast and coffee.

“Hey good morning. Me and the girls are gonna go to the city to get some pizza!” Peter said, you and ruby following behind him. Tony made a weird face and Steve raised an eyebrow at you.

“Pizza for breakfast?” Tony asks. You and Peter shrug before you speak.

“Why not?” Tony just shrugs with both brows raised and waves you off.

“Alright. Go have fun I guess.”

-------

You were at a booth, playing a game on your phone while you waited for Peter and Ruby. They were at the line ordering their mini pizzas and you were securing your seats. Peter ordered what you wanted and now the three of you were sitting at the booth waiting for your pizzas to come out of the pizza oven.

You all made small talk while your drinks came, and made plans to once again stop by the pet shop down the street. It was tradition that every time you went to get pizza, you'd have to stop by the pet shop and look at all the puppies.

“Have you ever been to a pet shop?” You asked Ruby, who was taking a bite out of her pizza. She shook her head as she swallowed her food.

“No, I've never been. I'm not really a dog person.” You gasped at that. You had assumed everyone on earth was a dog person. Who doesn’t love puppies?!

“Really?!”

“Yeah, I guess it’s cause I never had a dog, or met one up close, but I don’t know, they just never caught my attention.” She shrugged. You nodded side to side and hummed.

“Well, now’s your chance to change your mind. Me and Peter have this tradition to stop by the pet shop down the street and look at all the puppies. Peter never lets me go in though, because he thinks that if I go in, I'm walking out with a puppy in my hands.” You say, rolling your eyes. Peter scoffs and rolls his eyes as well.

“I don’t think. I know you will. And then Tony’s gonna blame me for letting you.” He said.

“Whatever. Anyway yeah, so we just look at the animals from the window. But… maybe todayyy can be different!” You say, hope dripping from your voice and you turn to look at Peter with a sly grin. “Since we have Ruby Anne, we have to show her inside! So she can meet a puppy up close and maybe change her mind! Come on, pleaseee? Can we go in, I promise not to adopt anything, I promise!” you plead, pulling out your puppy eyes, knowing he almost always falls for that.

Peter lets out a heavy sigh and rolls his eyes, making your cheer. “Fineee, just because of Ruby Anne.” He says, getting up and waiting for you all to go to the shop.

------

“They’re really cute! And so soft!” Ruby chuckled, walking out of the pet shop with you and Peter on either side of her. She had a really good time looking at all the little puppies and going into the small booths to pet them and snuggle them.

“Right? They’re amazing! Hey, I'm pretty sure now, that if you asked tony for a puppy, he wouldn’t hesitate.” You say with a smug smile of your face as you wiggle your eyebrows at her. She lets out a short laugh. Peter knows exactly why you said that and looks at you while he giggles.

“Dohohon’t even start.”

-----------

You had come home about an hour ago and practiced some ballet as well as training a bit with your brother in the gym. You were now walking in the yard with Ruby Anne, having a nice little girl talk. You were talking to her about Jeremy as you both took a seat on one of the benches in the garden.

“Hmm. Maybe Steve is right.” Ruby chuckled. You shook your head with a smile.

“I used to doubt it but, now I don’t know what to think. But I do know that “we” would never happen.” You scoff. Ruby hums and stares off at the flowers. “What about you? Any crushes you got?” You smirked, nudging her with your elbow. Ruby scoffed and paused for a moment.

She shook her head almost sadly. “Not anymore. It didn’t work out.” She shrugged. You hummed and gave her an apologetic look.

“Well… he's an idiot for not seeing your worth.” You say. Ruby laughs at that and raises her eyebrows as she nods sarcastically.

“Yeah well, its fine. He likes some other girl. She’s so much better for him. They compliment each other very nicely.” She smiles.

“Don’t say that, you are enough. There's no “girl that’s better”. Everyone has something that makes them valuable. You’ll find someone that sees that in you.” You grin, giving her shoulder a comforting pat. She nods and gives you a shy smile.

“Thanks.” She sighs. “So, your turn. You got a crush?” she asks. You take a deep breath and stretch your arms a bit.

“…. I don’t know actually. I mean, I see guys and find them attractive but, I'm not really at the point where I wanna date yet. And I guess that’s what's stopping me. I wanna appreciate and take advantage of my youth. Maybe- I don’t know. I just feel sometimes that when you date at a young age, especially when you both are still growing and immature, you're basically dating for heartbreak.” You shrug. “So I figured I’d just wait, and save myself the pain. I’ll find the right one eventually. But of course, that’s just my take on it.” You chuckle. Ruby nods and smiles.

“Yeah… that’s kinda true I guess.”

-----------

Pietro had brought some Chinese home so everyone gathered to have lunch today. You were having some orange chicken and rice and you couldn’t be happier. After everyone was almost done, Tony spoke.

“So guys I was thinking we should have our movie night outside, what do you think? We set up the yard real nice, weather’s good, we could set up the projector and have our snacks.” He said, smiling when everyone started to agree. You were really excited at the idea and couldn’t wait to set everything up.

That was until now.

After lunch you had taken a shower and a nap. You hadn’t realized its been hours that you were asleep but you were just so tired, you didn’t know why. So when Tony came waltzing into your room to wake you up, your motivation to go help outside was very low.

“Y/nn, wake up…” he sang lightly shaking your shoulder a bit. You groaned loudly, hugging your pillow tighter. “You said you wanted to help with the yard, you’ve been sleeping for a while, its 7:30 and its getting dark. Peter and Ruby are already outside.”

You groaned again, burying your face into the pillow. “mmm. Don’t care.” You mumbled sleepily. Tony smiled softly.

“Aww come on, you don’t wanna get up?” he asked in a very sweet voice. You shook your head no. “You sure? You promised you'd help…” He said, smirking as he lightly started scratching your sides. You began you giggle and kick your feet tiredly, tightening your grip on the pillow.

“Noooohoho. Stohohop.” Your giggles were muffled as you kept your face planted in the pillow. Tony added more pressure, waking you up a bit more and causing you to squirm around. Your laughter became louder and you began to push his hands away as much as you could. “Tohohonyyy!” You yelled, cacklling when his fingers drilled mercilessly into your ribs and you shook him off, giving you enough time to grab the sheets and engulf yourself in them, using the comforter as a shield.

“Come on, get up!” He sang, before smirking. “If you don’t get up, I’ll eat your belly!” He said, poking his head under the covers and hugging your waist to his face, playfully biting and nibbling your stomach. You scream in ticklish agony and flop around as much as possible. His beard was driving you crazy and the noms and noises he was making were not helping at all. “TOHOHOHONY STOHOHOP!” You cry, unable to defend yourself since you were getting tangled up in the covers.

Tony ignored your protests, playfully growling and rubbing his beard all around your torso, occasionally biting your ribs. “I don’t hear a surrender!”

You erupted into loud belly laughter when he began to continuously blow raspberries into your belly. That was the breaking point for you, and you finally decided to give in to make it stop. ”OKAHAHAY ILL GET UHUHUP PLEHEHEHASE!!” You begged, pushing at his head desperately. Tony blew one last raspberry before poking his head out of the covers. He chuckled loosely and helped you untangle yourself from the blankets, giving you a hand to get you out of the bed.

“Glad I was able to convince you. Now come on.” He smiled, leading you out of your room. You whined slightly and lazily walked wherever he led you.

Everyone was out in the backyard, blankets and pillows everywhere, ready to be set up. Steve and Clint were pinning the big white sheet in between 2 close trees and setting the projector up.

When you had gotten to the yard, you went towards Peter, who was helping Thor and Bruce set up the snack and drink table. “Look who finally came out of her coma!” Peter teased, smirking as you rolled your eyes. “Wanna roll down the hill?” he asked, pointing behind him. The backyard had a small hill that the 2 of you liked to roll down off. It wasn’t steep, but it was high enough for it to be fun to roll down. You nodded with a grin.

“Where’s Ruby?” you ask, looking around for her.

“She’s helping Wanda put up the lights. We were practicing cartwheels a bit ago. She’s pretty good!” he said, walking up the hill with you. You smiled at the thought of them playing around.

“Cool! I'm glad she had fun.” You both had your blankets and wrapped yourselves up in them before laying down. “Ready? First one down gets the last pop tart.” You giggle, ready to roll. Peter’s smile faltered as he craned his neck to look at you.

“Wait, what? There's only one left?!” he asked.

“321GO!” You yelled, immediately rolling down, leaving Peter to scramble around and roll down, already too late to win. You were giggling and closing your eyes as you spun and spun until you slowed to a stop. You unraveled yourself and looked up just in time to see Peter roll to a stop. You laughed along with him and both got up, him helping you.

“That was so not fair.” He chuckled.

“I was just kidding about the pop tarts.” You started. Peter sighed in relief. “There’re none left. Thor finished them all.” You tittered, shrugging a shoulder. Peter deflated and groaned, making you laugh.

-------

WHACK!

You and Peter were in the middle of one of your many pillow fights while the rest of the team were finishing up. All that was left was putting the blankets and pillows down.

You were aiming at Peter and were about to smack him, your arm bent over your head when your pillow was suddenly snatched from behind. You gasped and turned around to see Nat tucking it under her arm.

“Nat!’‘ You cried. She gave you a shrug and half a smirk.

“What? This is my pillow, I need it.” She said, walking away and leaving you to get quickly knocked to the ground by Peter with the pillow. You could tell he wasn’t done so you quickly got up and and ran, giggling loudly as he chased you.

You circle around the food table to where Steve is and you run behind him, hugging him for protection. He’s taken aback at first; giving you a weirded out smile, unaware of Peter standing a few feet away, and returning the hug. You beam at him, giving him your brightest smile and looking back over at Peter, who’s glaring at you playfully. You grin and stick your tongue out, watching as he leaves but not before quietly telling you that he’ll be back for you.

You finally leave your brother’s side once you deem the coast is clear and go help Nat who’s laying the blankets down.

After helping out a bit, you spot Ruby Anne talking to Peter a little far away. They’re both laughing and you smile to yourself, happy that you’ve been seeing her smile a lot more. You were glad that she actually did what she said she was gonna do and give the team a chance. There was still a lot of progress that she and Tony would have to make, but the more you saw her interact with the other members, you knew things would only get easier from here.

As you’re laying a blanket down, you smirk widely at an unexpecting Bucky, who’s sitting on the ground with his back to you, changing the batteries on some of the battery powered candles. An idea to surprise him slipped in your head and you couldn’t stop yourself. When it came to Bucky, messing with him was your favorite hobby. You didn’t know what made him so fun to prank but he was.

You grabbed the blanket back and snuck up behind him, careful not to make any noise before throwing the blanket over his head and pulling down/back so that he falls on his back. With a laugh you try to get away but somehow he manages to quickly grab a hold of your ankle before you can run. You scream and protest as he begins to slowly drag you over to him with the blanket still over his head. “Nononononoooohohooo!” You giggle nervously, kicking and rolling around with no avail.

“I wonder who this could be?” He hums, blindly tickling all over you, starting with your thighs, mercilessly tasing them, knowing how that drives you crazy. You’re letting out loud uncontrollable giggles as you pointlessly try to kick your legs out. “Hmm. Feels like... female, mid-teens,” He starts, digging his thumbs into your hips making you convulse with laughter. “About __ lbs., Extremely ticklish, hmm... seems familiar...” He moves his hands to your sides, rapidly squeezing them, smiling at the sound of your laughter. “Apparent poor defense skills,,, very sneaky though; always out to get me...”

Your stomach was beginning to cramp from all the laughter and teasing. You were begging for him to stop but he only ignored your pleas.

“God- I know this! I’ve heard that laugh before! It can’t be Peter, it’s gotta be...” Bucky sighed feigning defeat, playing dumb and prolonging the torture for you. “I feel like this could be y/n but I’m not sure.” He shrugged, shaking his fingers into your ribs.

“IT’S MEHEHEHEHE!” You cry, throwing your head back as you laughed. Bucky gasped before ripping the blanket off of him and blowing raspberries on your belly. You shriek and arch your back violently, bursting out into hysterics. Your body falls limp as you laugh and accept your fate.

“I knew it! There’s only one person who’s brave enough to constantly mess with me and think she can get away with it!” He teases, blowing another raspberry and shaking his head into it, chuckling against your skin when you let out a small snort. He sits back briefly only to start leaning down towards your neck. You immediately know what he wants to do and you shrug your shoulder up with a squeal. “Nooohohoho! It’s gonna tihihickle so bahahad!” You cackle.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He said. He chuckled loosely and blew the raspberry in the crook of your neck. Your body instantly paralyzed when you screamed, falling into silent laughter . He finally sat back and watched as you we’re just a giggly puddle on the ground. “I wonder when you’re going to learn that pranking me almost never works out for you.” He thought out loud, smiling as you let out residual giggles sprawled out on the floor.

“Neveheher.” You say, shaking your head tiredly. Bucky snorts at that and shakes his head at you fondly before scooping you up and laying you on his lap. “You gonna sit with me while the movie plays?” He asks, wrapping his arms around you, cuddling you to his chest. You nod firmly with a hum and cover yourself with a blanket since it’s getting chilly out. The yard is all set up and everyone finds their seats and watch the movie as a family.

It’s about 2am when the movie ends and everyone is having another snack at the food table. Tony had said that it would be better to clean up tomorrow, since it was late, so all they had to do was clean the food table and bring the leftovers in. Since Bucky had gone to help, you were clingily holding onto Steve’s arm since you were so sleepy you couldn’t even stand on your own.

When everything wrapped up and you all said your goodnights, you raised your arms at Steve, hinting at the fact that you wanted him to carry you inside. He huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes, but obliged anyway; picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck as he carried you inside and up to your room where you quickly fell asleep.

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