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everythingne · 5 months

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all american bitch -- ls2

After a successful concert in Miami, your twin sister is caught having a little moment with her boyfriend outside a club. Most people jump to conclusions, but you have a way to shut everyone up (and give half of the F1 community a heart attack in the process)

logan sargeant x singer!reader

warnings/notes: cheating allegations, cursing, so many sexual innuendos, sexual lyrics, terribly written lyrics should count as a warning... also I wrote this to celebrate logan 2024 <3

fc: gracie abrams

04 MAY, INSTAGRAM

urusername made a new post!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, sistersacc, and 450k others

urusername: miami!! u were ELECTRIC!! a great finish to the first leg of the tour. oh and thank u to both @ logansargeant and @ sistersacc for joining me in miami tn ahead of the gp <3

tagged: sistersacc, logansargeant, williamsracing

lilymhe: LAST PIC??

urusername: people keep sending logan text posts to me and its amazing

user1: girl explain what u were doing last night

user2: patiently waiting on her downfall fr

user3: MOTHER IS MOTHERING!!!

logansargeant: I LOVE YOU BITCH ASS

urusername: I LOVE YOU TOO FUCK HEAD !!! 💙💙

williamsracing: y/n. ur electric.

urusername: im leaving logan for u williams admin

logansargeant: dude what the fuck :(

user4: so we're gonna act like no one saw her cheating?

sistersacc: AAAA SO MUCH FUN THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE U MAD <333

alexalbon: thank u again for inviting me and lily i cannot express the joy of finally meeting the woman logan never shuts up about

user7: not everyone jumping to conclusions jfc

logansargeant made a new post

logansargeant: thank u williams for the incredible season and for trusting this american guy and taking a chance on me. thank u @ urusername for being my rock. see u all next yr 💙

USER HAS LIMITED COMMENTS ON THIS POST.

urusername: so so so proud of u baby <3 u did incredible

logansargeant: thank u <3

alexalbon: see u in a few weeks

oscarpiastri: great job man u did amazing

EXTRATV made a new post!

liked by 456k others...

extratv: While rumors are spiraling of potential cheating allegations against Y/n L/n, she was spotted with Taylor Swift at a local park in Miami after day two of her residency in the Kaseya Center. Has the checkered flag waved for the American 'It Couple' of F1?

user1: bro its so over for us.

user2: NOOO Y/N SARGEANT PLS </3

user3: people see taylor and think its an immediate break up. taylor literally helped y/n start music bc their moms are besties idk what y'all are on.

user4: reputation era real

"Do you see this shit?" You turn to look at Logan behind you, who currently has his face smushed into what was previously your pillow as he attempts to recover sleep from his season of traveling just about everywhere. You would be in the same boat as him if you weren't being hounded over doing your skincare and such everyday for tour. Because of that hounding, you had to take off all the makeup you had put on for dinner as soon as you got home. The dinner was with all your family and friends to celebrate the end of a season and the end of the first leg of your tour.

"No?" Logan blinks open his eyes and you cross the room from your shared bathroom, he lifts the blanket so you can slide in next to him in the bed as the fleeting Florida sun nips warmth into your skin before his warmth envelops you in the comfortable blankets you have across the bed as the fan above rotates on high.

You flip your phone, showing him the pictures of your sister people were using to say you cheated on Logan.

"Oh be so serious." He groans into your side as he looks at the photos, arm draped lazily over you before he plucks the device out of your hands and drags you fully under the blankets with them.

"Don't worry," He murmurs, sleep in his voice, "It'll blow over if we just ignore it."

"Logan they're trying to cancel me on Twitter." You deadpan, rolling into his embrace and snuggling against him.

"Write a song about it like everyone thinks you're doing with Taylor, play it on tour or something.'' He mumbles into the skin of your neck before giving you a soft kiss.

You hate how enticing the idea is.

"You're gonna have to review the lyrics before I post it, because I might make it absolutely filthy." You warn and Logan's eyes widen as he perks up from where he's cuddled into your side.

"Oh please, please, do." His little shit eating grin makes you burst into laughter as you nod, pulling out your notebook from your bedside table and a pen as Logan adjusts so he can watch you scribble down ideas.

urusername made a new post!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, lilymhe, and 215k others...

urusername: im so sorry to @ williamsracing in advance. my new single miami burn comes out tmrw 💙

lilymhe: get em girl.

logansargeant: i apologize in advance to my pr team

williamsracing: logan please.

oscarpiastri: some times i wonder about u two. and then i hear about you and it makes me wish i never asked.

logansargeant: wow love u too man

landonorris: no i heard the demo im with oscar on this

arthurleclerc: prayers to ur pr team !

williamsracing: well now im scared.

#f1 fanfic #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #logan sargeant x y/n #logan sargeant x you #logan sargeant imagine #logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant smau

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stars-and-the-min · 24 days

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☆ the wrong way to hard launch (4) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n not everything goes to plan but they make it work (happy early oscar day bc i'm busy for the next couple days <3)

masterlist | last part | part 4 | next part

INSTAGRAM

mrslukaszhang

liked by emptybottlesbar and 1698 others

mrslukaszhang some tmd tour lina outfit appreciation bc i'm finally seeing empty bottles tonight!!! tagged: emptybottles_official and selinabui

ameliabelrose omg i never really looked at how gorgeous she looks this tour, looking forward to any particular one? ↳ mrslukaszhang @ameliabelrose if she doesn't walk out on stage in that sparkly pink masterpiece my experience will remain unfulfilled

piastri_lina girl... i have some bad news

emptybottles_official

liked by lukaszhang and 182,923 others

emptybottles_official 🚨It's with a heavy heart that we have to cancel tonight's performance due to the weather. Ticketholders should remain home, and the team is in talks with the venue for a possible replacement show held on Saturday instead. On behalf of the whole team, we apologise for the inconvenience and thank you for your understanding. With love, Empty Bottles 🚨 残念ながら、悪天候のため今夜の公演は中止とさせていただきます。チケット所有者は自宅に留まるべきで、チームは代わりに土曜日に代替公演を開催する可能性について会場と協議している。チーム一同、ご不便をおかけして誠に申し訳ございませんが、ご理解を賜りますようお願いいたします。愛を込めて、Empty Bottles

eb_jonno thwarted by the rain again, fingers crossed for a postponement rather than a cancellation

emptybottlesbar :((( Ticketholders stay safe !!

zhouguanyu24 雨哥支持 ⛈️ trans: brother rain is supporting you (it's a pun on zhou guanyu's name since the character for rain is also pronounced as 'yu') ↳ selinabui @ zhouguanyu24 滚 trans: get lost

emptybottlos go check on ur oscalina besties, they just died ↳ piastri_lina @emptybottlos DON'T KID I'M ACTUALLY IN TEARS

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

TWITTER

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h just saw the insta post... is it bad that i'm praying for no replacement show 😭 ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h I'M SO SELFISH I JUST WANTED TO SEE LINA CELEBRATE OSCAR'S BIRTHDAY

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h EVERY OSCALINA STAN FELL TO THEIR KNEES WHY WHY WHY

Oscar Piastri @OscarPiastri · 3h Well, not everything can go to plan ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h SO SHE WAS GONNA FLY DOWN FOR UR BIRTHDAY I'M DISTRAUGHT ↳ june @linafesting · 1h why can i hear the disappointment thru my screen ↳ Team Piastri @PiastriUpdates · 48m there's always the race 🧡 ↳ conNUH @chickenbirch · 17m just reaffirming this thought

piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 38m never thought oscar would ever be having a tayvis superbowl moment ↳ piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 37m and it's also a tokyo show like 😭 the music girlies x sports boys being cursed by the city of tokyo

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by oscarpiastri and 124,284 others

selinabui "it's near a fish!" tagged: cameliazzz, lukaszhang, eb_jonno and aidan_ebass

landonorris Excuse me, WHAT? ↳ selinabui @ landonorris 🫧🐟

pi4str1 I'M WHEEZING SO HARD I CAN'T BREATHE

oscarpiastri "lando, it has no fish, this one, look" ↳ landonorris @ oscarpiastri Hilarious mate, you guys are couple goals ↳ selinabui @ landonorris awww thanks lan, we think so too <333

emptybottlesbar

liked by cameliazzz and 98,265 others

emptybottlesbar #TBT Does anyone else miss blonde Lina? tagged: selinabui

oscarpiastri I just miss her in general, does that count? ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri sir... what? ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui So close yet so far away 😞

linasgirl4 oh my god she's just a baby 🥺

moonbeamlina wake up bitches it's missing blondie hours ↳ piastri_lina omg i forgot she was blond during the overtime era what

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/raindrops175 2 hours ago Tokyo N2 replacement show encore set

Hi there, does anyone know if there's going to be an encore set for the replacement show on Saturday (April 6th)? A friend and I are going but there hasn't been any notice with our tickets or anything? Does anyone know how it works?

MetroMoon · 1 hr. ago Typically, they have QR codes or links at the venue that redirect you to a site where you have until the intermission to nominate and vote songs. I tried the link again the day after and the site was gone so IDK if they'll have it since there wouldn't be a programmed one for Sat

nicotokis332 · 1 hr. ago honestly OP i wouldn't hold my breath, lina would cut it to head over to suzuka lmao summersweettea1389 · 37 min. ago one thing i know about that girl is that she loves being on that stage more than any man in existence

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by landonorris and 102,284 others

selinabui hey there osc, happy birthday! if it weren't for divine intervention i would be down in suzuka celebrating with you but i hope my last-minute gift was enough to make up for it. in all our time together, i always know that you'll make me laugh over a warm cup of hot chocolate and we'll have the most epic jetlagged naps on random couches. even if one day you get tired of me, i just want you to know that you brought light back into my life and for that i think i might just have to love you forever. all my love, your lina 💝 tagged: oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri The day I get 'tired of you' is the day I die

landonorris Don't make him cry, he can't drive through the tears tomorrow

lukaszhang oh it's sickening pls get a room ↳ selinabui @lukaszhang i've never once complained about ur simping ↳ lukaszhang @ selinabui we're admitting that we're simping??? ↳ selinabui @lukaszhang for oscar piastri? hell yeah i am

pastry81 i'm crying, why am i crying over a birthday post ↳ pastry81 @ pastry81 he's actually so loved this is all i've ever wanted for him

emptybottles_official

liked by eb_jonno and 300,937 others

emptybottles_official Tokyo! You were amazing! We absolutely loved the energy you gave us (we were reassured multiple times that it was much louder than the average audience here). Until next time! 🔜 Seoul, South Korea 🇰🇷

28kaslina24 ooooh kaslina truthers stay winning ↳ zhangbui52 @28kaslina24 the way they look at each other seriously can't be topped (sorry osc*lina)

tina_kim that first photo is a murder attempt i actually stopped breathing

cameliazzz OH I MADE THE PHOTODUMP!!! ↳ cami-updates our favorite drummer 💜💜💜

TWITTER

MANIFESTED OSCALINA | LONDON N3 @12m0red4ys · 47m WAIT SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN SUCH LITTLE TIME ↳ MANIFESTED OSCALINA | LONDON N3 @12m0red4ys · 47m THERE WAS AN ENCORE SET??? ↳ li(n)a @meliabelrose · 44m SHE DEDICATED IT TO OSCAR 😭 SHE SANG BIRTHDAY BY KATY PERRY 😭😭

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h "mr oscar piastri, this one's for you" I DIED DEAD ↳ june @linafesting · 2h everything about the cover was pure joy and watching lina twirl around the stage giggling was a shot of dopamine straight into my veins ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h it's the way she couldn't make it thru the bridge for the life of her

piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 2h HAS ANYONE CHECKED ON OSCAR??

jackpot ☆ @slayridgo · 5d i actually get really emotional thinking about gen-z's pop-rock princesses finally finding decent guys after falling victim to the '19-year-old' curse. look at my two talented grammy-winning singer-songwriters frolicking in a field 🫶

↳ jackpot ☆ @slayridgo · 5d their friendship is everything to me 🥹 ↳ 🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 5d lol pop-rock tho? ↳ jackpot ☆ @slayridgo · 5d olivia is POP-rock and empty bottles is pop-ROCK but you literally can't ignore the rock elements in liv's music like you can't ignore the pop influence in lina's songs ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 4d this reminds me of the vogue interview when liv said that lina was the first of her influences that was her age and what that really meant to her esp when they met and became instant besties like i will ALWAYS be a selivia stan ALWAYS

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

INSTAGRAM

oscarpiastri just posted to their story

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification

#f1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x oc #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri smau #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 smau #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 imagine #f1 social media au

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not-goldy · 6 months

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Sometimes I wish Jimin stop being so secretive on cam and basically a wallflower. I wish he speaks up more and calls out BS immediately, especially during lives like JK/Tae or Joon does or is it because he doesn't get much wierd comments 🤔. Also stop being so fucking humble.. like sir you are a history maker, everything you release are organic hits, have a huge fanbase, your bdays are celebrated as Christmas day, why tf would you think you don't even deserve a music show win ?????? Own your success and skills please 🤧

And I also wish JK stop being so impulsive, saying and doing absolute dumbest things 🤧 sometimes he sounds like those cocky boys who will say they'll make you come thrice in a row and will climax within 2 seconds lol. He's so cocky; knows he's hot and his impact but at the same time he still don't know what he really needs. So I wish he becomes more mature and get his shit together asap

Maybe if they use share these qualities a bit with each other it will be fine lol. JK sharing some of his cockiness with Jimin so he can go 'yeah that me, Park Jimin' bitches 💅' and Jimin sharing some of his level headness with JK, so he can think before doing and saying some things 🥲

Idk how they are even navigating through their relationship when both are on opposite ends of attitude and lifestyles, like is that even possible ? Won't both parties get sick of each other soon? ... or maybe like you said JK is the freedom Jimin is craving for and Jimin is the leash JK very much needed 🤷‍♀️

Set me free was liberating for me and I think Jungkook too cos he stamped his approval on it like you could tell Jimin frustrates him sometimes with the kill them with kindness vibes he has going on.

And I know Jimin is not a push over too cos there's some really hard core ghettoness buried deep inside his slytherine heart- he is the master of self control cos I'll be getting canceled every second if I were him🥲🥲🥲

I'll be dropping mid night rants talking bout yall could never be me😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hash tag jealous

Hash tag up in your man's arms 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

And he lowkey be shading too but we don't talk about that🥲

He's constantly trolling haters posting Jungkook shirtless, leaning on him kissing up on him daring yall to come for Kook if he's your mans💔💔💔💔

This literally him on these streets he eats and wink

Shade is cool Jimin but throw the damn tree too🤣

They are both fascinating.

Oh lord not 2 seconds 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

You is going to hell for that😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Not gonna lie, I do enjoy his chaotic character most times. I'm big on diversity. If everyone acted the same way they'd be boring as hell plus I like my BTS a tad crackheads🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

JUNGKOOK'S a vibe. Not many idols like him. He be be tanking on the idol part sometimes- I don't think he even sees or thinks of himself as an idol😭😭🤣🤣

An idol is a whole personna carefully curated to appeal to an audience- when I tell you Jungkook ain't curating shit for no one and to please no one😭😭😭😭😭

Tell him to do aigoo I dare ya🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭

Sometimes I just play his memes and sleep. It's the new Netflix and chill for me.

Doesn't take himself too too serious, easy going non judgemental, quirky😭😭😭

And he is very relatable. We all don't say the right things all the time, or do the right things and overthink everything.

Some people don't find that attractive in Idols but I like it. That that I like that

Im a bit of a crack head myself so.... anywho

For an idol, yea perhaps he could be a bit more controlled and polished but not too much cos then he'd lose relatability and seem outta touch.

Frankly I think they are both perfect as they are💀

I wouldn't change much but you are right they both could influence eachother a bit and they do TRUST. 💜

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shadowthehedgehog · 3 months

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what the hell is writscrib what the hell do you mean by fat fetish art drama

I wanna preface this by saying that I dont remember everything that happened exactly and that theres def some informationIm gonna get wrong and also I dont have any evidence like screenshots or anything. All of this info is stuff i vaguely remembered from 2018. so basically

anyways. writscrib was (keyword was) a website thats very similar to pillowfort in a sense that it was supposed to be a superior alternative to tumblr. so like better user experience, better moderation and support, and it also prided itself that it was gonna be harassment free and callout posts werent allowed and at the time a lot of tumblr users bitched and moaned about cancel culture so they were frothing at the mouth about this. It had an indiegogo campaign and it ended up reaching its goal

They did open beta in 2018 and I signed up cause I thought it was gonna be the next big website (it wasnt) and I wanted to steal as many good usernames as I can. The extremely awful thing I remember about opening that damn website is that at the time everyone shared the same feed/dash no matter who you followed. So like for example, you dont follow me but my posts will still show up on your feed and it was the same for everyone.

So like Im on writscrib and im scrolling and someone posted. art they made of a fat person eating a burger and its very obviously drawn in fetishistic manner. And because all the users on that website share the same feed we were all seeing it real time so all of us were making posts like "did anyone else see that fat fetish art or was i imagining it" and the person who drew it who Ill call the Artist started getting extremely defensive about it

So I make a post that was along the lines of "i just opened this website and the first thing i see is fat fetish art lol" and the Artist SAW IT and replied like "its not nice to make fun of peoples art" which like. idk buddy ur putting fetish art that a lot of people didnt wanna see on our feeds but whatever.

I dont reply but someone else does and Ill call this person the Commenter (theyre still on tumblr but i wanna preserve their anonymity) and I guess an argument broke out between them that escalated and the Commenter was being kind of an asshole about it. So the next couple things that happened are kind of fuzzy but I guess the Artist reported him and the Commenter got their account banned. The Commenter kind of complained about it on tumblr and the Creator of writscrib saw because they were going through the writscrib tag and the Creator made it so the Commenter was perma banned for breaking TOS.

This caused more drama because the Creator responded in a really petty and passive aggressive way and a lot of people were like "hey this person got banned from writscrib for talking shit about it on a different website. Thats really fucked up and oppressive moderating" So it started this huge drama and the Creator made a non apology. I should also say that I went thru the Artists blog cause I found it and they did admit that they drew fat fetish art on purpose to start drama and troll people yet no one said anything so hmmm....

A side note but I made a mutual during that time who was a mod of the website and knew the Creator and apparently the Creator was a huge asshole to them. However I have no proof of this so like. Take it with a grain of salt.

Anyways the website ended up crashing and burning and shut down after a few months. lol. lmao even

#carto answers

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dukeoftheblackstar · 11 months

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Obsessed with @thirsty-boba-fett-posts VampBoba thots ♥ And @daimyosprincess because bestie, I just read part III and I am very much into all that shit ♥

You've been browsing them magazines for some red bottoms that you know is just gonna make your ass look tight. Not to mention something sparkly for that neck of yours. You buy it using the Count's business card all excited and giddy. You, however, did not, for a hot fucking moment, check the price.

You in big trouble now bestie.

And the store doesn't offer returns or cancelations for rushed purchase, but adds a little extra.

If it pleases the court once more, here's Count Boba and his moody love languages ♥ ||

Lazy writing... but with progress? *LE GASP* !!! - Blood mention, biting, vamp things smut stuff idk, I really suck at tagging please forgive me, but it be filthy down there.

So you forgot that bit that banks will notify the card owner if they make purchases, particularly massive ones. Shops do the same with a bit of a thank you beep for your patronage and will send a brochure of the more lavish selection offered only to big buyers.

Our no fuss no muss count barges into your room, takes you by the wrist and effortlessly drags you against the wall. You best believe he'd pin you there with your hands over your head and his knee hard between your thighs because babe, he old with a bad knee. A very bad ~ knee.

He'd tell you in that sultry, velvety voice all: "Now what did I say about being such a naughty little money whore?"

He'd 'hmmm?" the shit out of that question in such a low, baritone voice, paired with them dark, devious eyes that burned right through your heart. "Did I not tell you that you only get presents from Daddy when you've not misbehaved?"

You arch your body towards him because he being hella hot and you being hella sus over some orders coming in today that you didn't tell daddy.

And before you could answer, he drops you on the floor and began unbuckling that grade A-spankmedaddy belt he has on his waist.

He doesn't say a word and hooks the belt around neck and fastens the buckle. You'd think he'd choke you out then and there, but no baby girl. No, no, no.

DENIED. DENIED. DENIED. DENIED. DENIED. DENIED.

A short tug, motioning you to follow as he walked out the room. The palace is a labyrinth of mirrors. The naked eye may not see both of your reflections, but you can see your own.

You'd think this'll turn into some over the top, hot angry sex where he'd nail you down the bed and fuck your lovely brains out until the frame breaks? No boo, he denying you that too.

DENIED. DENIED. DENIED. DENIED. DENIED. DENIED.

He drags you to his office, the one place you're not allowed with your clothes on. But being the stupid little baby girl you are with his belt around your neck, you were too worried about the carpet burns on your knees and the belt around your neck.

He takes offense in this. His mind be like:

Like bestie, you should know better! TSK. TSK. TSK. He about to double dick you down with that electric dildo you decided to buy that greatly offended his pride because droids, am I right?

But he loves you enough to give toys a chance because you know, you're his pretty, little, baby girl~ ♥ His one and only full-time princess ♥ And he knows he's always for work to get that dough rolling you love so much just so he could make it rain on that tight, juicy, punani ♥

He walks towards his desk, leaning, sitting on the edge with arms folded over his chest. You can see the white formal shirt barely leaving any room for his muscles and it's just.. unf.

You sit on your ankles with a whimper, rubbing your barely flustered knee from having to crawl to his office. You recall what you ought to do because huntie, we not really dumb bitches here ♥ We're intellectual, independent queens who just want sum dik.

You began unbuttoning your shirt but you see him push off the desk and walk towards you with your back on the wall. Obvi no room to escape.

But like bestie, why would you? You're on the floor looking at this hella fine man. You ought to be praying ~

He takes you by the chin and forces you to really look up to him, even hitting the back of your head against the wall accidentally.

I guess he really wants you to go stupid for him. SMH.

So he reaches for the shelf above your head and whips out the electric dildo you purchased that his butler had snitched on you. SHH BBY, THANK HIM LATER.

( The butler is Din Djarin. It's official.)

Any how.

He turs the dildo on and it begins vibrating. Something about him holding another cock made you moan and sigh at the same time, it seemed like you wheezed a little. Maybe died a little. Understandable.

He drops to his ankle, chin still a firm grasp under one hand and the other , bringing the toy close to your face.

"You like this shit, hmm?" He asks, clear with a tone of anger. He began to tap it on your cheek. Boba's not shy about it as he began to slap it on your face a little harder, making you wince and move your head.

BUT BESTIE, HE AIN'T HAVING IT.

"LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU."

His eyes be red and you can hear the soft hissing sound he makes when he's not at all happy. His voice loud and domineering, forcing you by the chin to look at him. He bears those dangerously sharp fangs close to your face as he presses his forehead against yours for a brief moment, steadying your gaze.

So you do and no amount of sugar is gonna change this daddy's mind. Buckle up bitch, you in for it now.

He pulls back and properly thwacks the entire shaft onto your face. Nodding almost approvingly as he could hear the impact on your skin.

"Good girl."

With your new found obedience, he brushes your lips with his thumb. Caressing your cheek and leaning forward to offer a whisper of a command as he drags the dildo right over your mouth.

"Now lick."

You gulp and obey. Not wanting to anger the count.

He peers at the corner of his eye as you lick the toy, making sure to move it around and make you coat the entire tip.

At a point he even drags the entire shaft slow along your tongue. Down to the base to the head once more.

"That's my dirty, little devil ~ "

A stifled moan escapes his lips that moved inches down your neck. Breath hot against your skin and you could feel the sharpened tips graze generously.

He adjusts himself to kneel and guides you to fully sit on the floor. A free hand tracing your thigh, only to duck under your knee and pull it up.

With your knee up and your legs spread, Count Boba kneeling between your thighs, he lowers the toy to level with his own.

"Now be a real bad girl for daddy and fuck it."

I'd write some shit about how hot that made you feel but babe, I am not about that life for now. I'm too tired from work so, get your own freak on ♥

You drip the toy inside you and you can sense him look down with interest. You were starting out slow, but like I keep saying: THE FETTS HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CHILL.

"Surely, you can do better than that." He'd tease, licking the length of your neck and rubbing his face onto the side of your head. "Come now, show daddy how good of a slut you are."

You tried mid and the vibrations were doing it for you. Get it girl. It made your knees twitch in an attempt to close your legs, but it wasn't enough.

He notices this and pulls back. Reaching down to take hold of the toy over your hand and flick the switch to Max.

See, bestie? He cares! He knows that that garbage mid-tier vibro ain't doing you good! Love languages all about ♥ Our man here being sensitive to your needs ♥ Okay, so back to fucking.

You groan loud and your hands frenzied on where to go as he pumped the toy in you a few times and pulled it out to let it rattle against your clit.

You could feel some wetness on your own hands under his and it didn't help that he had stuffed two of them thick fingers in you.

He went on like this for another minute or two before he reached down with his other hand and whipped that might sword of destruction out his slacks.

"Oh ~ You like that, you naughty, cock-hungry whore? Have you been blowing daddy's money because he hasn't fucked that filthy tight cunt lately?

Boba had pressed his face onto the side of your neck, mumbling and grunting as he began stroking himself while he continued to hold the toy rattling your clit with two fingers pumping inside you.

But as usual, the count doesn't like waiting for an answer. Specially if he's dripping precum on the floor and you know he ain't about that wasteful lifestyle.

He gave himself a long, full to hilt, stroke and coated his hand with cum, leaving his cock only to shove the same fingers between your lips, only to wipe the slickened on your tongue.

He took hold of himself again and pulled the busy hand free, exposing your wet cunt only for a second before, he his tip in.

You gasp and started burying your nails on your thighs because you know daddy doesn't let you do them grabby hands unless he tells you to ♥

He grabs your leg and pulls you to take him by a good half before holding the toy upside down to continue vibrating against your clit, gyrating as he buried himself deep inside you.

Grab on bestie, because this is the shit that just drove me wild an hour ago as thots just smacked me in the head while I was contemplating useless shit to buy today.

"That's it, baby girl."

You can hear him swallow and his voice rasped with desire as he began to just fuck you with that mightier than mighty cock of his in full, deep, hard, merciless thrusts while that droid dildo keeps on your swollen clit like a lamp to a moth (or some shit idk this has gone too long Dx)

"Come and fff--fuck daddy. Show daddy you deserve money. Come on, come on, come on, come on. Be daddy's fucking slutty cockdumb whore..."

You can tell he was close by the fact that he's dick is dummy thick in you and he was grunting, groaning, huffing, hissing, as you were. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you pooled cum under him, feeling your body violently shake.

Your arms find his ribs, digging through with your own nails, ripping his good shirt because you a vampie bitch too ♥

You began clawing for him, ducked under his arms as you dragged your nails from his shoulder down to his back, pulling him as close as you can as you literally convulsed on that vampire dick.

But just as you thought you were in the heavenly graces of god himself...

CHOMP CHOMP CITY BITCH ♥

Hard to tell if it it was a moan, a cry, a whimper, a scream, insert any other word here because I'm tapped out. But you made sounds babe. Sounds you didn't expect your whore mouth to do today.

Fangs a precise cut to bury on your neck and you can feel the blood run up the area.

It wasn't lock until his lips fell on your neck for optimal grip. The taste of your blood is as exquisite as his now cum-stained cock pounding you like he about to build a house in that bitch.

Blood filled his mouth and caressed his tongue like sweet, sinful nectar.

Perfect for those who dig eating/drinking and fucking at the same time.

But of course, old men get rich by being greedy.

He pulls off only to admire the holes from where his teeth sank and the sight of your blood oozing down your neck and onto those sweet supple breasts of yours.

He licks his lips, savoring your blood as he slowed his pace down a little.

He took the toy off your clit and just let it fall over your lap, still buzzing.

He takes your chin, turns you to face the other way just so he could sink his teeth on the other side of your neck in the same fashion. But this time, he pulls you from under your knees, lifting as he stands and pins you to the wall for a better angle at fucking.

He rams you in hard. Hard enough for one of his framed certificates to shake and break on the ground. Hard enough for the potted plan atop the shelf to hop and follow suit.

He breaks off from your neck again and you can tell the sight of blood slithering down to dampen both of your chest together was driving him mad with unabashed lust that his pace quickened the longer he stared.

"F..Fuck,... Fuck, Fuck, Not like this.."

And as if seeing you in a state near passing out as your palms knead, squeeze, and roam over your breasts and how tight your legs were wrapped around him was enough. It wasn't.

Let me introduce to you all my greatest personal kink that not even daddy kink would sway me:

M O N E Y.

He leans back only for a little to take in your blood stained presence that made his cock twitch inside you. Reaching down to procure a handful from his pocket, a devilish grin turns into a swift lick of the lips before leaning only to give you a quaint, barely connecting kiss.

And without a second to spare, the Count stuffs a handful of crisp bills with a new black card (with your own name on it) stuffed somewhere in the middle and a thin golden chain hooked in that messy clump, between your lips.

Seeing you with his riches in your mouth, cock in your cunt, and your pale neck marked and stained with the succulent supply of blood you just blessed his tongue with, he leans in to finish the job by moving in a little lower to take in the conjunction between your shoulder and neck into yet another bite. Piercing your ashen skin as he bucks wild within you a couple more times making you shiver, flail, and desperately try to push him off with how sensitive you've become after finishing before him.

Lowkey proud of myself for writing the end bit in not so lazy writing. But meh, garbage but in paragraphs OMG.

#♝#boba fett thots #but genuinely #you two #thank you #you both and syn is like inspiring me to write so much

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mybiasisexo · 2 years

Text

WIP Reveal Tag

tagged by the baddest bitch @biaswreckingfics 💕

game: post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have wips.

I don't expect any asks so im just gonna like talk about them here or whatever. We will prob only see 2 of these maybe knowing me lmfao :/ (wait I was bout to post when I thought 'fuck it imma post a lil snippet of each HA!)

Entangled - I technically have up to chapter 11 written but after some minor revisions, im rewriting everything so....its like im still on chapter 4 😔

“Mmm, don’t stop doing that,” he purrs. “I want everyone to know what we did tonight.” 👀

Gods - a chaptered fic based on the kai drabble Gray.... I got the outline done so far ✊🏾

OC is a demi god. Her mother is human, but her father is a god–the god of death, to be exact. She comes from a cult, an ancient religion who worships the old gods and try to create demi gods.

kai drabble - believe it or not, I have one drabble left....sent in 2020 😬. imma make it exxxtra long, so yeah. I have a rough idea of what its gonna be about, but haven't started writing it yet.... y'all pls dont cancel me im just a simple girl surviving

You shrug. “Everything happened so fast, I really can’t remember. I wasn’t on birth control.” “Everyone is on birth control,” he huffs.

What Happens in the Dark - vampire!Baek chapter fic. I have posted some of it and, well, that's all Ive got done on it..........

“You make it seem like you're in your seventies,” you bark a laugh. “How old are you anyways?” He opens his mouth to answer you, but pauses before a wicked grin grows on his face. “Guess.” “Ugh.” You scowl and he laughs. So, Baekhyun liked to play games. That’s annoying. “Come on,” he sings. “It can’t be that hard, could it?” “I don’t know,” you shrug. “Twenty-four?” “Close.” He raises his hand, showing you just how close you were with his forefinger and thumb. “Fifty-six.” You throw him a look and he laugh. “I kid, I kid. I’m twenty-seven.”

Suho x the little mermaid!au - exactly what the title suggests. haven't started yet. Maybe in my dreams

Glances pt 2 - its gonna be smut and that's all there is to say

baek wick - I watched john wick and I was like 'this but with baek!!' I only wrote an excerpt but oooh what a concept????

Your phone beeps. You pull it out and when you read the message, your heart drops. “What is it?” Baekhyun asks. “It’s a hit… For 5 million dollars.” “Five million?” He asks, aghast. “For who?” Slowly, you lift your head to face him, pupils shaking. “For you.”

pirates! au - its a bbh pirate au 😔 also what a concept. imma be honest, like I forgot about all after glances like...what are these???

Chanyeol xexo au - I wanna do this but havent got like a real plot for it, just know that im a xexo apologist and STAN ✊🏾

its crazy cause that's not even a lot yet its a chore. but lbr life is a chore

tagging: @vampwrrr, @kpop-stories-21, @naturalogre @moonlightjongin, @j-pping

#always no pressure!!!#it me #mine #my writing

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dabi-the-burnt · 2 years

Text

K I gotta rant. ITS driving me crazy.

So I've been in a long distance relationship for nearly two years. Known him since we were just fresh into high-school.

Bla bla bla.

Bro goes to prom without me in May. While we're dating. He says he's going with friends. And I'm like. Eh that gives me the ick.. (he lives an hour away and has turned down every opportunity to meet up) but I accept it. He's gone the whole day. Doesn't say shit right. Promises to show me pics. I try to be happy for him. Tell me why I just found the pictures by mistake on someone else's Instagram? TELL me why he didn't mention that he wore a matching suit to the dress of his closest best friend who he always blows me off for and is moving in with in a few months. You know, the friend he's told me he will always put over me and would never cancel on for me for anything. The one he can stop talking to me to call with but can't even text me when he's literally doing nothing with them. Yeah.

And then this weekend he told me how I'm just in the computer. And he doesn't want to be on his computer. He wants to go out and live his life. Fair enough man, I get it. But maybe don't insult and degrade the person you chose to be in a relationship with? He genuinely makes me feel like I'm this massive burden that he doesn't want around.

He never told me about this one person either until last week when WE were supposed to be able to talk before he went out of state with the prom friend. He never told me about this new person until he was a few minutes away from getting coffee with them. And apparently how he met them. Was. And I quote, "they looked cool and gay so I asked for their Instagram".

It's sketch because this was last minute. But I can't ever even CALL him because he's "busy." And "can't make last minute plans." And "his parents have to know all details even if he's 18" and they apparently can't know about me. Which I get it. Parents can be strict. But like.. if they're cool with your Starbucks stranger why the hell am I an issue if we've been together this long?

Also. I'm not allowed to tag him. Starbucks bitch can tag him though! And they can comment things like "aw can't wait to see you x" but I'm not allowed to comment on his posts because what if someone sees. But literally anyone else can.

I'm toning this all down. He literally goes out almost every single day to go on date like activities. And I'm like you know what, I'm not gonna be controlling. As long as things are cool it's fine.

But we've been together for this long. And he only just told his friends about us in about April. OF this year. With no prior mention of me. Ever.

He gets mad when I try to work things out with him. Mind you, I'm a total pushover about it. I let him do anything.

But the moment I decided to wait until after his Starbucks date to politely ask if we could go over boundaries because this made me uncomfortable, he went off on me. Made it about something else entirely. Mentioned my sh (which was just a total weapon. I've been so clean and so good.) AND made the comment about how I'm just in the computer. And he doesn't want to spend his life at the computer.

Which again, fair enough. But. Then he proceeded to watch Netflix. On his computer. You see the issue?

Also, I never have his undevided attention. He quite literally only talks to me when looking at Twitter or whatever else. AND it's very few words and very far in-between.

It just hurts me. I literally sobbed texting him and I flat out said I just wanted to be loved half as much as he loves his friends. And he literally just told me how he wants to spend time with his friends and I need to not bother him.

Why are we dating then? If you hate me and cannot spend time talking to me, why string me along?

His good moments with me are so few in between now. And I'm hurt beyond repair. But he's away on that trip. And I'm waiting until he gets home to talk about all this. But I guarantee he's going to be mad over it. No matter how I present it.

I'm sorry, but I've been so lenient and so patient. And I can't keep being guilt tripped and treated like less than literal feces.

#vent.

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scyllas-revenge · 1 year

Text

I posted 1,764 times in 2022

That's 1,307 more posts than 2021!

133 posts created (8%)

1,631 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@i-did-not-mean-to

@blueberryrock

@heilith

@scyllas-revenge

@stillcantgetoverthesilmarillion

I tagged 533 of my posts in 2022

#boromir - 135 posts

#persuasion - 37 posts

#lotr - 32 posts

#lotr fanfic - 19 posts

#jane austen - 17 posts

#faramir - 15 posts

#north and south - 14 posts

#burn like cold iron - 13 posts

#piranesi - 12 posts

#pippin - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#imagine the hobbits' faces as this martyrdom goes down like o.0 where did his clothes go why is he posing all seductively what did we miss

My Top Posts in 2022:

shitty persuasion bingo

part 2 here

366 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

oh you’re half-agony huh?? bitch i saw the trailer i’m full-agony

408 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

I know I always get overemotional reading Piranesi by Susanna Clarke but for some reason when I got to this part last night I just cried uncontrollably for five straight minutes and I can’t explain why

and basically after reading this book several times I think I’m starting to feel that sea longing that Tolkien’s elves get

907 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

if they’re gonna ignore all period-accurate costumes, dialogue, and social norms to the point where anne calls wentworth her “ex,” i wouldn’t be surprised if they ditch wentworth’s letter completely and instead he just whips out a shiny iphone 12 and texts her “u peirce my soul babe ❤️❤️❤️”

1,007 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I can watch no longer in silence. I must complain about you by such means as are within my reach. You've ripped out my soul. I am half agony, half hopeless. Tell me not that this is it, that such precious Jane Austen adaptations are gone forever.

I offer you my screenwriting advice with a heart even more desperate than when you almost broke it with the release of the Persuasion trailer one month ago.

Dare not say that this movie is accurate, that this Anne is a stronger protagonist than her book counterpart. I have loved none but her. Pretentious I may have been, annoying and demanding I have been, but always with the film’s best interests at heart.

The book alone has brought me to you. For it alone I sat and watched. Have you not realized this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I would not have waited even ten minutes after turning off the TV to write this, could I have mastered my own feelings, as I think you must have guessed mine.

I can hardly type. I am in every instant recalling something which makes me want to punch a wall. You rewrote Anne as a snarky girlboss, but I can appreciate the nuance of her book counterpart when it would be lost on the Netflix execs. Too horrible, too disgusting adaptation! You do us insult, indeed. You do believe that there is not a single brain cell in your audience. Believe mine to have shriveled up and died while watching this movie, most painfully, in the brain of

-Everyone Watching

I must go, and cleanse my remaining sanity with the 1995 adaptation; but I shall return hither, to laugh at this adaptation with my friends, as soon as I can stomach it. But another sentence of clunky narration, another infuriating wink from this horrible version of Anne to the camera, will be enough to make me cancel my Netflix subscription forever.

2,521 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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first-only · 2 years

Note

Despite the fact that I am getting more comfortable with being SaLS on main, I still get incredibly anxious when I get an anti message

I'm just so scared to have a callout post written about me, and you can never know who will or wont try to set you up for harassment (especially if they are an anti) It doesn't help that I'm incredibly anxious and paranoid a lot of the time

congrats on getting more comfy!! and yeah anxiety is a bitch but i believe in you! at some point you kinda get callous and desensitized to random messages lol

i dont mean to make it worse at all, and if that line of thinking doesnt work for you i apologize, but here's a few things ive picked up over the years:

it doesnt like... /really/ matter what you post. things that you or a wider audience consider "problematic" arent the only way you can get "cancelled". like i got called racist for pointing out that two phrases in different languages can be translated in the same way in english. like literally ranting in the tags about my own language ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ so for people determined to look and sift for 'material' it wont really make a difference if youre posting incest fic or like.. oogling over the celebrity of the day, they just wanna pick a fight. so do what makes you happy anyway, it wont give them teeth if you dont worry about the content yourself. bc yeah it doesnt matter on the internet if you post fic or just aesthetics, they have the same 'moral' value and if you dont assign them different weights then someone else doing it shouldnt bother you either

in the.. absolute best gentlest and encouraging way to say this. you and like. all of us are just some randos on the internet. the chances of someone leading a /personalized/ harassment campaign against you, or even someone finding you that juicy of a target to have more people message you is like. /really/ low. even if you get messages from time to time, a whole ass campaign is unlikely unless you have a lot of followers/are a BNF/are the lead content creator for a rival ship to the main one (bc lets be real all this is one giant ship war at the end of the day)

callouts or "block" lists are usually mass things in my xp. like you get put among 20 other usernames and then you bond w the others over the experience and are happy that you found new likeminded mutuals. the amount of times ive followed an entire list of ~problematics ive been featured in lol. its ironically a bonding experience and with a few blocks out of the way its kinda.. positive in the best case?

and really. really. i might be like. a bit too callous but at this point. even if there is a harassment campaign. even if you get a huge callout. even if half tumblr blocks you. so what? block out the haters, lie in with the mutuals, vent to some side friends. and just. keep going. so what if a bunch of rabid antis are raging out of their skin because youre having fun and trying to tell the other antis that youre having fun. yes you are. so what. what are they gonna do, make fifty accounts? send more anons? catch even more blocks? (reminder that if you block someone on anon it catches their entire ip so they cant make more accs to harass you). like yes, take precaution not to get doxxed (no sharing of identifying info, including where you live) but thats common safety anyway, and most antis arent tech savvy enough to dox anyway. you'll be fine. even if an account gets mass reported you can always write down mutuals' urls and start over (my own mutuals have a lot of experience, the propara community is fun lol) you can still share content, have fun, be yourself. its not a deadly situation. not to be 'the internet isnt real life it doesnt matter' bc yeah it can very much be anxiety inducing and horrible, but at the same time taking a step back yourself and evaluating the situation can help a lot with emotional regulation (just like in real life! some relationships are worth stepping away from, or getting less invested into if they become toxic)

so yeah thats my general view of the problem, again brains are weird and no two work the same, but these things help me and make me feel better, so hopefully if not you personally they might soothe someone in general ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

really hoping you find your community and comfort anon. fandom is a great place with it and a barren wasteland without, but imo its worth sharing even if for that one thrill /you/ get when someone likes it or when you find some gem

#ask #i love saying shit like this and then looking at my own fandom experience like ah yes seek community it is great #ignore my fandoms that i dont touch w a 3m long stick lol #i mean to be fair im having great fun in 'genera' fandom and different tumblr circles #and ive given up on finding more people beside close friends w my specific pretenses #but its still funny #and possible with big and/or newer fandoms!!#build a circle of trusteds before it dies so you can brave different waters together thats what i did w DA

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sango-obligato · 7 months

Text

vent i posted onto twitter that im gonna copy-paste here. tw for suicide, im just so fucking angry at myself right now

oh my fucking god im so fuckisng mad at myself right now. why am i still hopeful about chip the fandoms never gonna be the fucking same. even after the bitch got cancelled everything is still fucking wrong. im never gonna get those fucking good memories back

and were they even good memories when i was dealing with personal shit as well?? i had an obsessive best friend on my ass!!!!! its too late for me to experience the prime joy because i was a fucking outsider who was too much of a pussy to say hi to anyone in the fucking fandom

i was too scared to even fucking interact with anyone at first. you guys dont fucking understand how fucking hard it was for me to fully join the fandom in 2021. i was scared i was gonna be fucking rejected by everyone!!!!!!

and the happiness i felt was short-lived because GREMLIN AND HER FUCKING FRIEND FUCKING SNUCK IN AND RUINED IT FOR FUCKING EVERYONE ELSE. and what happened to me??? i became a nervous wreck!!!!!! i became even more scared to even enjoy my own fucking special interest!!!!!!

and more bad shit happened, i think one of the former members of the chip fandom hates me for whatever fucking reason, earlier this year i was petrified my friend was gonna kill themselves because of her, im a fool who thought they could get their safespace back!!!!!

WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD FOR ME TO FUCKING MOVE ON ALREADY. not even splatoon or homestuck was able to make me move on from all of this!!!!! everyone else was able to fucking move on, so why cant i???? all of this is on my mind CONSTANTLY!!!!

i keep on looking back at the tags, how things were so fucking epic and lively!!!!!!! and chances are, the liveliness will never come back because the fandom's fucking broken!!!!!!!!!!

even after everything that happened this august, IM STILL BLAMING MYSELF FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED LAST YEAR. im sorry guys im just so fucking frustrated and mad at myself. i just dont fucking think im ever gonna move on for reals at this point.

im sorry for being so fucking annoying about all of this.

#suicide tw #val being a pissbaby

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seroqueldreamer · 1 year

Text

I posted 193 times in 2022

That's 120 more posts than 2021!

113 posts created (59%)

80 posts reblogged (41%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@staralignments

@mikoriin

@bulkhummus

@talisman975

@thedarkwizardisaevillizard

I tagged 153 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#the owl house - 30 posts

#our flag means death - 18 posts

#poets of tumblr - 18 posts

#star poetry - 18 posts

#poetry - 18 posts

#my poetry - 18 posts

#ofmd - 14 posts

#personal - 10 posts

#stede bonnet - 9 posts

#welcome to night vale - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 107 characters

#ohhh! yeah. and there isn't even any venom in them! how will they use their earrings as functional weapons!

My Top Posts in 2022:

The Definition of Insanity is to do the same thing over and over, expecting different results.

Belos screamed in rage, over the last betrayal of the Golden Gaurd. What was this... 22 now? Why do they keep betraying him? Belos understood nothing and yet everything.

"Oh, Emperor Belos! What's wrong? Did you break another one? You're having fun!" The Collector jeered.

"Collector. Why do they keep betraying me?! What am I doing wrong?! I protect them, care for them, and give them high ranking! They still betray me!" Phillip screams, curse taking over, thrashing loudly, chipping away brick and stone in the castle.

Lunation giggles childishly. "A word of advice?" Lunation asks.

"Anything! I can't keep fucking failing!" Phillip howls.

"Separation is the only form of care needed for loyalty. Isolation will consistently beat out the need for connections." The Collector giggles, disappearing into the floor beneath the portal.

"Yes, I think that would be quite correct. I will call this one... Hunter. Attempt 23 will not fail, it will not." Phillip smiles, eyes glowing a hazy blue, mania in his features.

93 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

*screams*

NOOOOO. BASTARDS. STEDE YOU FUCKER. YOU DUMBASS. EDWARD. YOU BASTARD. HEART BROKEN BITCH. HE'S COMING B A C K. IZZY SHOULDA FUCKIN... THE MUTINY SHOULDA SUCCEEDED. FUCK. NOW LUCIUS IS GONE. MOTHER FUCKERS. THIS HURT MY FEELINGS. FUCKING DUMBASSES. DUMB OF ASS. MORON. MAN'S CRANIUM IS FUCKING DUMMY THICK.

132 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Dumb little quote floating around in my head.

Darius: Ugh. Go! Go do sport!

Hunter: Hooray! Hooray for sport!

135 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

Hunter: So we've been dating for 3 and a half years- Can I still make fun of you with my friends?

Willow: Sure, but just don't say I'm bitch and that you don't like me.

Hunter: Wow! The bar is so much lower than I could've ever imagined! That's it?

Hunter, later: Also, I wouldn't say that! What kind of boyfriend would I even be? Like, 'Hello! My girlfriend is a bitch and I don't like her!' That's like a support group for men in crisis, with keynote speakers like Phillip Wittebane and Alador Blight. Also, I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my girlfriend is a bitch and I don't like her! My girlfriend is a bitch and I like her so much!

Amity, recording this and sending it to Willow: Simp.

141 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Abby Palmer-Carlsberg is relentlessly and hopelessly in love with Steve Carlsberg and will regularly cat-call him when she sees him in public. She also flirts with him with a rampant undercurrent of lust, purely to fuck with Cecil on purpose.

Cecil thinks it's absolutely disgusting and gags every time it happens before proceeding to make out with Carlos in public to counteract his sister's disgusting display of affection and if Abby tries to say anything he's like, "Abby?! My own sister? Home of phobic? You're gonna get canceled, Abby! I'm going to cancel you, on-air!" He doesn't, but Abby laughs every time and texts him while he's on-air with 'I thought you were going to cancel me. Do it next time, Coward.'

Steve is just happy to be there honestly. He thinks his wife's antics are endearing.

156 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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from-a-reckless-writer · 3 years

Note

RE: the tags about being tempted to post a half finished fic and guess the ending, well you are a reckless writer for a reason

this is long overdue, so here have a fic.

It has come to the point that nothing fazes her anymore.

A kidnapping? Been there, done that. It means calling Sam Arias to intimidate the board of members into temporary submission.

An explosion at the office? Just a typical Tuesday. It means relocating to the 23rd floor and sharing the desk with two other interns for 2 months tops.

An assassination attempt? It means bracing herself for at least 3 deliveries of donuts and coffee for the two following weeks that Kara Danvers would be protectively hovering over L-Corp, until her boss snaps and shoos her away back to CatCo.

She’s seen it all, endured it all and she sure as hell is prepared for it all. She’s got three different ironclad statements ready to publish for whatever PR disaster will most likely turn up that week. She’s got contacts from the FBI, DEO, CatCo, Daily Planet, Gotham Gazette-- hell she even has Lillian’s personal cell (just in case the Luthor matriarch ever tries anything y’know? ) and yes, even the number of that 'Mexican place at 5th and Spring, you know the one Kara likes, Jess?'

She’s got two pairs of heels, a raincoat and four sets of outfits neatly folded in a duffel bag, at the back of the office, reserved for any emergency that requires a change of clothes.

The point is, she is an independent Asian-American woman who has worked her ass off for the better part of the decade and has long learned to take no shit from anybody.

Not even stupid superpowered Kryptonians.

See, it takes a lot to be her. It takes unlimited patience to put up with a woman like Lena Luthor, not because she’s a terrible person. Oh no, no, the complete opposite, actually. She is so overwhelmingly kind to a fault, and she doesn’t want nor let anybody see it. It’s infuriating to see sometimes. Okay, fine, she sides with the Krytonian on that one matter. But oh, ho, ho, not today. Today, she’s mad.

She’s livid, actually and it’s all Supergirl’s fault. (and Lena Luthor's too.)

Jess has had her fair share of ‘I-Should-Not-Have-Been-Here’ moments, like that one time she forgot to knock and stumbled unto Lex mid-yell with Lena whose eyes were shimmering but was still keeping a rigid posture.

Or that one time when she thought her boss had long left the office, only to be greeted with quiet sobs and an empty bottle of scotch rolling on the floor. Or that time she happened upon Lena, skirt and sleeves on fire with fumes rising from a green solution.

Apparently, her staff from the lab refused to let her in after three days of their CEO holding herself in isolation with the experiment. Lena had gotten the great idea of smuggling the chemicals to her office instead. Luthors are nothing but determined. Jess still remembers the adrenaline rush of holding a fire extinguisher—as if she were the chosen 5th grader for a school fire drill—and shoving her boss out of the way.

Like she said, nothing fazes her anymore she’s seen it all, except maybe, this one. Yep, definitely this one. This one just made a hot ball of fury unfurl at her very core. This one might just take the cake.

Jess was just going about her day, returned from a hearty lunch and feeling reinvigorated from that dose of sunlight and fresh air. It was a quiet day today, she noticed, which should’ve been a foretelling.

Nothing really is ever quiet. Well, when it comes to L-Corp, at least.

She’s been sitting on her desk for about a good fifteen minutes and finished with screening a few papers from their new contractors, when it occurs to her that the latest blueprints from R&D are still on her desk instead of already being reviewed by her boss.

She grabs the drawing tube and quickly makes for her boss’s private office. They’ve spent enough time with each other that Jess could just come and go as she pleases, instead of having to knock each time. Saves both of their time, that way.

Although, usually, she buzzes through the intercom first to double check, but it was 1:20 P.M and she knows Lena doesn’t have anything scheduled after lunch. So, she pushes the door, confidently strolls in and promptly stops in her tracks.

Jess stops breathing for a moment, blinks once, twice, stares at the scene before her.

Lena Luthor sat atop her work desk; blouse open, eyes closed, cheeks flushed, neck currently being ravaged by Supergirl with legs wrapped around the waist.

She probably should’ve just turned and left while they haven’t seen her yet. That would’ve been the smart decision, right? Yes. Yes, it was so very clearly The Right Decision.

Of course, she doubts she could look Lena in the eye for the next few weeks after that, but at least she wouldn’t know that Jess walked in on them during an er- make-out session? Office tryst? Oh God, she shudders internally. It sounds even worse.

Incident? Yep. Yeah. She’s sticking with incident. Indecent incident sounds more apt really.

She should’ve left. Would have left, if her eyes didn’t just land on the desk—well, more like Miss Luthor’s as- backside—and felt the stirrings of rage make itself known. Because there, underneath Lena’s ass (Backside!! Jess, that’s your boss!) is the squished—probably crumpled—pages of a contract.

A contract they’ve spent 5 months securing!!

Jess decides to do what everyone else would have done in a situation such as this; she clears her throat. Loudly.

Classic move.

Supergirl’s head immediately shoots up and Lena’s eyes snap open.

“Jess!” Supergirl squeaks and she sees the exact moment the realization hits Lena. Her eyes widening at her girlfriend’s exclamation, whips her head to the side, spots Jess, hands scrambling to a panic to close all the buttons of her blouse.

She hears Lena hiss, “Fuck, shit. Oh my God. Shit. How did she even- You have superhearing!!!” as she pushes Supergirl—who lets herself be pushed, stunned by the intrusion, face redder than a tomato.

Lena gets off the desk, fixes herself all the while to futile results. Her hair is tugged down from her usual ponytail, her neck and chest is marked, her lips swollen.

Supergirl's hands twitch at the sides and Jess sees her gulp as blue eyes frantically dart to Lena and her, and then Lena, and then back to her.

Lena finally turns around after those few awkward beats.

"Jess," she begins, clearly trying hard to put on her business bitch persona, but come on, there's a hickey under her jaw for fuck's sake.

"It's not what you-"

Jess doesn’t let her finish, she stomps her way across the office and forcefully puts the drawing tube on the desk. It makes a hollow thump.

“Jess I-”

“Supergirl, do you know how long it takes to finalize a business proposal, pitch it to the board, persuade the board and finally have a contract drawn?”

Supergirl gulps again. Lena’s eyes are wild next to her, she doesn’t like not knowing what the next best move is, Jess knows this all too well.

“Uhhh- no?”

Jesus Christ, you’d think after years of shadowing Cat Grant, she'd had at least learned a thing or two. Then again, if somebody is full on glaring at her after getting caught red-handed, Jess doubts she could answer coherently too.

“That’s right,” Jess says, “You don’t.”

“Jess,” Lena repeats pointedly. She knows that tone. It’s a warning.

“Ms. Luthor.”

A period not a question mark. It’s a challenge.

"I've spent all my evenings working late on that, do you know how many dates I've had to cancel? Just so I can secure a meeting with Qatar and simultaneously sync it with Beijing's time? My boyfriend hasn't seen me in two weeks!” Jess bursts out.

“Two weeks, Supergirl!” She gets close enough to jab a finger to the Girl of Steel’s chest. A feat she will gladly tell all her coworkers later when she’s calmed down enough.

“Not to mention, the 10 other people who worked their ass off trying to make sure that Miss Luthor's presentation is airtight, bulletproof and waterproof!” Lena has the decency to look a little guilty at this point, nothing big though, just a slight tug at her lips, but it was enough for Jess.

“IT TOOK ME 3 FUCKING MINUTES TO PRINT THAT GODDAMN CONTRACT WHICH MIGHT NOT SOUND LONG—” Jess raises a finger in emphasis, “BUT BELIEVE ME WORKING IN L-CORP? A 3 MINUTE DIFFERENCE CAN MEAN AN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT OR PSYCHOPATH PRESS!”

Supegirl of all people should already know this! For fuck’s sake!

Jess’s chest is heaving. She takes a deep breath, kneads her knuckles to her eyelids, “So, please if you're gonna have sex in the office, please, pleaseeeee clear the desk first. And at least, lock the door.”

She stares them both down, till Lena gives her a solemn nod; cheeks and ears still red. Supergirl squeaks out an, “U-understood, Ma’am.”

“Good. Glad we’ve come to an agreement.” Jess gives them one final nod before finally fulfilling what she came in here to do, “Miss Luthor,” She turns to Lena, “here are the R&D blueprints. Good day, to you Supergirl. I'll be going now. "

When she finally goes home, tells her boyfriend, and wonders aloud if she’ll still have a job the next morning, he tells her she’s such a badass.

And well, Jess can’t disagree with that.

*****

"Did I just- Did I just get yelled at by your secretary?? D-did she just chew us out?"

"She did, and she deserves a raise."

#i call this fic how many commas can i use in one sentence?#i think this is by far the most crack thing ive written #poor jess #in this house we worship and praise jess the secretary and her thrity second cameo in that ONE scene #if u see a typo no u didnt #the reckless writer writes #a supercorp ficlet of sorts

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craftycheetah · 2 years

Text

Missing

Warnings: mentions of infidelity, torture, kidnapping, death, mental manipulation, and language

Word Count: 2.3k

Genre: angst, very little hurt/comfort

Pairing: Prohero! Bakugou x reader (can be read as any gender)

Authors Notes: This took me a LONG TIME. I am so sorry for not posting over the last three months. College is very stressful and time-consuming. I am so sorry! Please reblog and maybe leave an ask if you like my stuff! Maybe a follow and interact? Pls, don't be a ghost reader. Tagging @milkmademozzarella and @xxmiizcornerxx for helping me and blessing me with their BIG BRAIN ideas.

Ringing. A sharp ringing in your ears as your head twinges. Trying to move around, a clinking sound comes from your wrist once your brain registers the cool metal of the quirk-canceling cuffs chaining you to the brick wall behind you. The newfound inability to move your legs once you see they are also chained together. ‘What the hell? Where am I?’

A flickering overhead light illuminated your surroundings. ‘Last thing I remember was going to the c—’

Footsteps approached the dingy cell you were in. Glaring up at your captor, your face dropped once you recognized them. An auburn-haired man with cold, piercing green eyes glared down at you with a sinister smile, making the chill in your cell much more evident. He was the guy who was seen cursing Katsuki during one of his interviews, threatening him.

“This isn't real.”

You watched the shadowy figure become closer and closer to where you’ve woken up, almost completely paralyzed on that ratty old mattress, barely able to make a sound, to whisper to yourself, a futile attempt to try and calm your racing heart.

“Just...j-just a nightmare. Come on, Y/N...wake up, this...isn't...real!”

“Oh, Y/N…” The figure leans over them, just like a nightmare would and yet somehow not at all. “You think this is a dream?”

They hold up a syringe that's already been emptied, and your blood runs cold. Now you can feel that the side of your neck is sore, and now...now you can't speak at all, every muscle locked.

“I can assure you,” The villain chuckles, smirking so wide it shows their teeth. “This is very real.”

Cheap fluorescent lighting filled the cell of the once-famous villain Tomura Shigaraki, aka Tenko Shimura. A shaggy mop of cyan looked up at the door, a grimace forming his dry lips.

“Well, well, well,” Shigaraki giggled. “If it isn’t the number 3 hero. What brings you here, Dynamight? Or should I say… Bakugou?”

Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest and let out a ‘tsk.’ His eye twitched in irritation at the villain saying his name. His hand curled tightly into fists, nails digging into his skin. “I’m gonna make this short and sweet shit head, where’s Y/N?”

Shigaraki barked out a laugh, “You mean that trophy bitch you keep on the back burner? Wouldn’t they be at home cooking you a meal or whatever it is they do?” A devilish smirk appeared on his face, quickly transforming into a thoughtful look. “Not much publicity on that one; I wonder what they’re like….”

“Cut the shit crusty eyes! I know you have them! Give them up, and I won’t blast your ass to hell!” his voice echoes throughout the walls.

Shigaraki’s shoulders bounced humorlessly as he threw back his head and laughed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. If you’re saying your partner has been kidnapped, then I don’t know what to tell you,” he shrugged, taking a deep pause.

Bakugo tapped his foot impatiently. “Hey, remember when we kidnapped you?”

BLAM!

The table flew into the air, landing on the other side of the room with a large thump as Bakugou lunged at a chained Shigaraki. Shigaraki smirked before putting on a show of calling for the guards; no one came as his desperate cries filled the visiting hall. Just the perks of being the number three hero. All the air was knocked out of Shigaraki as he was slammed against the wall, heat bubbling on his skin as Bakugo’s quirk was half activated. “Did I hit a nerve? Or are you that much of a bit-“ His words were cut off with a desperate gasp of air as Bakugo’s grip went from his chest to his throat, successfully blocking off Shigaraki’s airway. “I am not. Playing. Games.” Bakugo growled through clenched teeth, banging Shigaraki’s head against the wall as he did so.

Miles away, the cold chill of the cell started to seep into Y/N’s bones, being kidnapped during a humid July evening only to be thrown in a freezer-like cell. ‘I swear I’m gonna drain every atom of oxygen out of this bastard the second I get out of here!’ Y/N struggled in her chains, stiffening at the footsteps approaching her cell.

“You hold your head up rather high for someone with a collar around your throat. You know he’s never coming for you, right?”

“Bullshit, he loves me. He’s coming—”

A loud explosion filled your ears as the wall behind him crumbled, revealing light and a silhouette of her savior. “Suki!” you cry out before struggling in your chains even more, “Get me out of here!”

A cloud of smoke covers your vision as you hear grunts and explosions. “Bakugou?” you whimper before relaxing as he comes into your view. “Oh, thank God, you’re okay! W-What happened? Where is he?”

“He’s gone,” Bakugou huffs. “Are you alright?”

You nod as Katsuki unshackles you before leading you out of the warehouse. You make your way home, and it feels like months have passed after you got kidnapped. Katsuki’s seemed different after he brought you back home. Constantly snapping at you, acting secretive, leaving the room whenever his phone rang, and coming home later than usual.

Katsuki calls you over to the couch one day, asking to talk, and he doesn’t seem like his soft yet arrogant self, considering he’s weirdly avoiding eye contact. “Sit down, Y/N. We need to talk,” he sighs.

Looking at him with slight worry, you move over to him, reaching to cup his face and pulling your hand back when he turns his head. “Hmm? What's wrong, Suki?” you smile, trying to make him feel better.

“This is gonna be hard to hear, so I suggest you sit down.”

You sit down on the couch next to him, ready to listen to what he has to say before those five words cause your world to come crumbling down.

“I’ve… I’ve been having an affair.”

You stare at him in shock, mouth agape, as your mind struggles to comprehend what he just told you. “You...you’re lying! If this is a joke, Katsuki Bakugou, this isn’t fucking funny!” you yell, getting up from the couch, glaring at him.

“I’m not, Y/N. I’m so sorry….”

“Bullshit! Sorry would’ve kept your ass loyal, Katsuki! Who is she, Katsuki? How long has this been going on?!”

“It doesn’t matter who it is, Y/N. What matters is what’s happening now. And right now, I want a divorce. More specifically, I want you to file for divorce.”

“What? Wait, why me?” you stammer before your eyes harden with anger understanding his reasons. “Oh, so you can keep up your perfect hero appearance?”

Katsuki sighs to himself, running a hand through his jagged-edged hair. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I need to look good for the public Y/N. It’ll look messy if I file for divorce from my so-called ‘perfect’ partner.”

“It is messy! You're the one who caused this shit! Who is she? What's so great about her?!”

“She doesn’t flinch whenever I touch her. She’s smart, pretty, and she loves me Y/N! What does it matter to you?! What? Are you gonna hunt her down and mess her up?” Katauki huffs and glares at you. “Just… for once in your life, just listen. I don’t love you anymore. I want you to file for divorce. Now.”

“You know what? Fine, go be happy with your whore Katsuki! Just get out!” you sob as Katsuki rolls his eyes, dropping his keys in the bowl along with his wedding ring before leaving. Just as you feel the tears fall down your face as Katsuki leaves your once happy home, admitting he cheated on you and he was going to leave you for her, you hear him.

“Well, well, well. You put on such an entertaining performance, my dear. What was it like? Judging by your tears, I can tell it must’ve been heartbreaking. Would you like to go again? We’ll have so much fun together, I promise~.”

You stare at him in terror as you think back to those “visions” you had of Katsuki. ‘It never happened? B-But it seemed so realistic...h-he was cheating. We were gonna get a divorce. He cheated on me! That couldn’t have been him. He would never!’

“I swear to God if Bakugou doesn’t kill you when he finds me, I will!” you snap, struggling in your chains as you tremble softly, tears falling onto the concrete floor.

“Shh, pretty one. There’s no need to say such vulgar words at me. I’m keeping you safe from that inconsiderate, irresponsible bastard of a man you decided to marry. Well, until he finds us, you wanna go again?”

Time moves differently when you’re mentally tortured like this. It’s like months and years go by, yet you’ve only been under for a matter of minutes. Somehow this is worse than what villains claim torture in Tartarus is like. It’s not just physical pain; it’s emotional, neurological. Like repeatedly being waterboarded and told you’re not good enough while you're under. You have no idea how long you’ve been trapped here with this maniac.

‘Maybe he’s right. Bakugou still hasn’t found me yet...probably off with some bitch glad that I’m not a nuisance in his life anymore…’ you think to yourself, slowly starting to give up.

While you were constantly going in and out, scene moving onto the next, your captor sat and watched your cloudy eyes. Your emotionless face and limp body accompany him in this physical world. What could've possibly led him down this path of torturing an innocent person such as yourself? He wasn't so sure himself as he rested his head into his palm, watching your anguished mind come up with some of the sweetest yet cruelest scenarios. Watching your spirit break worse than the last.

At some point, he stopped the show. Thus far into the show you were provided, you were weeping for your now-deceased husband. Holding onto his battered body while destruction surrounded you both and the cries of the innocent were bellowing out. He had just defeated the enemy, but the cost to do so was gruesome. You yelled in emotional agony, only to be stopped hearing the slow amused clapping by him. “Why are you doing this? What have I done to be tormented again and again and ag-”

“Oh, stop your complaining.” He cut you off as he looked down at you with eyes dulled with boredom, but his amused, wicked grin remained.

“You're innocent. In fact, I have no quarrels with you or your husband. Even though he is the very reason you're here, to begin with, my dear.” He taunted, sitting upon his throne of rubble twirling the syringe in his hand. And your eyes widened as you realized he had no remorse, no empathy. He was a complete sociopath. Bastard.

At first, he believed himself to be doing this as revenge for his lost family. Oh, his sweet family, the only ones who truly loved and accepted him for who he truly was, even if he couldn't provide the same for them. But with them gone, he no longer had to worry for them. He didn't have to cause them suffering simply because he wasn't normal as this society wanted him to be. Yes, them being gone was the best thing that could've happened, and for that, he thanked the hero that utterly destroyed his dull life and gave birth to a supposed color-filled adventure. “In fact, I should thank him. He's given my life a new purpose. I no longer have to be concerned with anyone, and I can spread my show for many others to come!~” He spread his arms wide, standing up before he stopped. “Oh? Our main character has finally arrived to rescue his damsel in distress. Quiet, my dear, the show is about to begin.” He announced, turning around, seemingly looking at nothing, leaving you confused and nervous. What if this was another trick? Another twisted scenario he’s come up with?

The sounds of rushed footsteps fill the desolate warehouse as the lights dim before showing only on him, leaving you in the dark. Sounds of laughter, explosions, the almost silent hiss of smoke bombs, and curses flood your senses as you try to make out what’s happening around you. Once the smoke cleared, your captor was gone, and all that was left was silence. Before you can muster a single thought, you heard your husband’s voice ringing through, “Y/N! The fuck are you??!” He shouted aggressively, but you could detect the concern in his voice. Mustering all the strength, you had all you could do was strain out a broken, soft, “I’m here. Help. Please help me.” Thankfully that was enough for Bakugou as he immediately charged into the direction of where you were. When he found you, you appeared physically unharmed for the most part, but he was more concerned with your shaken form. He removed the chains from your ankles and the cuffs from your wrists, whispering soft gruntled apologies and words of comfort as you sobbed into his shoulder, clenching onto his hero costume.

Carrying you out of the warehouse, he takes you to an EMT as the police rush inside the warehouse. “Suki? I-Is it really you?” you whimper, clinging onto him. “Don’t go, please, not again….” Katsuki looks down at you, confusion and anger written across his face, but his eyes show immense concern. “Shh, ‘m here, I’m here,” he whispers, rubbing your back. “Nobody’s gonna hurt you ever again, I promise. Look at me, firecracker, I’ve gotcha now.”

As Katsuki lays you on the stretcher, he holds your hand as he climbs inside with you, caressing your forehead as you’re driven away to the hospital.

Reblog and follow if you like my work pls! Asks are always open!

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blueeyedgeorgie · 3 years

Text

Cancelled-Dream Was Taken

A/N: Surprise bitch. Weren’t we expecting for me to release mcyt fanfics soon? If I didn’t tag my usual @‘s it’s because idk if you’d like to be tagged for mcyt content.

Pronouns: she/her

Word Count: 2.3k+

_________________

"You're so harsh on him!" Her hands sat on the keyboard, staring at the green human that stood on Y/n's computer screen.

She needed to be careful. While this was a heated moment, she couldn't let herself get too loud for multiple reasons. If she got too loud, Dream's stream viewers would be able to tell she was in the next room or they would just receive noise complaints from their neighbors.

"No Y/n! You're too soft on him! He needs to learn that he can't get away with everything. You're setting him up for failure." As the h/c girl listened to her roommate speak, she had to remind herself over and over again; 'This wasn't real.' Dream was mad, not Clay.

This had all been arranged as roleplay. Y/n would be leaving in a few days to go visit some of her family for a reunion, so Wilbur had been the one to think up the brilliant idea of what was playing out now; an argument between Y/n and Dream. The plan was to have Y/n get so upset she didn't log onto the SMP for the next few days, only to come back with a master plan to backstab Dream.

At first, Clay wasn't really on board with the thought of him getting angry at Y/n. They had been together for a little over a year, there wasn't a single moment they had gotten upset with one another. But surprisingly, Y/n had been the one to convince Clay it was a good idea.

The fans knew Dream and Y/n had a close friendship, Dream had always been so protective of her. But when this was going down, they didn't know how to act.

Every time Y/n would glance at her chat, she'd see thousands of comments rising up as new ones appeared. Comment after comment, it looked like the fans were shocked by the way this stream was turning out.

"I'm not setting him up for anything! He's a kid, Dream!" Y/n glanced from the chat, back at the screen showing her PC game. Standing on her screen was Dream and Tommyinnit, she had accompanied Dream to visit Tommy.

"You're just babying him! 'He's a kid!' Well, he needs to learn to grow up eventually," his voice had been filled with such spite. It felt weird to hear Clay speaking to her like this in such a tone.

For a moment, she stared at the green man before a short scoff escaped her lips. "I can't believe you." With that, Y/n had pressed a few keys, turning her character towards the nether portal a couple of yards away. Before Dream had gotten the chance to speak again, Y/n began to move away.

"Y/n! Come back here!"

She flicked a few buttons, taking a moment to look behind her character to see Dream following. Good, everything was going according to plan. Within the next few minutes, she'd be able to log off and she'd be on vacation for the next few days.

The h/c girl ignored the green man as she stepped through the portal, taking her to Minecraft's version of hell. Almost done, she just needed to find a good spot to stop as she listened to Dream continue to speak.

"You can't keep ignoring me! You know I'm right in this. You know you can't keep defending Tommy. You know Tommy is driving a wedge between us-"

Perfect. Y/n had stopped just on the edge of a bridge, molten lava sat feet below them. If she fell, she'd surely die. "No."

"No?" Dream was a bit surprised to hear Y/n cut him off, but he stayed silent as he was prepared to listen to what she had to say.

"No. No more. I don't wanna hear you blame Tommy for us breaking apart. I want you to listen to me. You've been acting like much more of a dick than usual and I hate it. I despise it. You've changed for the worst because you think you can step on everyone. At this point, everyone fears to tell you the truth-except me. I'll be a hundred percent honest with you, you've been so egotistical, it's really pissed me off. This is your fault, Dream. Not Tommy's. You exiled a child for pulling a prank on a vacation house! Not even George's real house!"

"But-"

"Shut the fuck up. I'm done, but I don't wanna hear you bullshit me. So shut the fuck up."

A moment of silence passed between them as Y/n stared at her screen. Just a few more steps.

And within seconds, Dream had pulled out his netherite sword. With one hit, she was falling back into lava. Y/n glanced at her chat, a look of shock on her face as she read over what a few comments said. A moment of silent tension had passed before Y/n had finally spoken up, removing her from the voice chat she was in.

"Alright guys, I guess that's enough for the day. I'll see you all... later." With that, she had clicked a few buttons, raiding Dream's live-stream as she ended hers.

For the next 20 to 30 minutes, Y/n knew Clay would be busy streaming. So she had decided to take a bit of time to wind down and think to herself.

Get a glass of water.

'Are the fans harassing him in his twitch chat?'

Sit down on the living room couch.

'The SMP fans were always so protective of me.'

Pet Patches.

'Was I too much when I snapped at him?'

It didn't seem like 30 minutes had passed when Clay had walked out of his streaming room, only to find Y/n on the couch with Patches in her lap. "Hey, N/n." "Oh, your stream is already over?" Y/n smiled, pulling herself out of her thoughts as she scoot over, giving Clay room to take a seat right by her.

"Yeah, did you lose track of time or something?"

"I must've. How did the chat react after I 'died'?" She smiled up at her boyfriend as he wrapped an arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer into his embrace.

"Everyone was filled with joy that you died."-Y/n playfully swatted at him. "Okay, okay! I got a few chat messages of people bashing me for it, but it's fine."

"Well, it's a good thing the chat wasn't completely littered with hate. How was it after my raid?"

"Honestly, not that bad as you expect. Like I said, just a few comments. Nothing bad, I just ignored it." Clay placed a hand on Patches's head, gently scratching her, followed by the animal beginning to purr.

"Good to hear, anyways... I'm not ready to pack. Do you think we can procrastinate?" The h/c girl let out a huff leaning against her boyfriend. "How?"

"I was thinking a bit of movie binging, cuddling, and ordering dinner?" A cheeky smile spread on her face as she spoke.

"It's like you read my mind."

The couple had made it through three movies, by now it was later at night. The sun had set and they had already door dashed some food. By now they were in the middle of watching 'The Empire Strikes Back.'

'I love you.' 'I know.'

The iconic moment between Hans and Leia had been interrupted by the sound of Clay's phone buzzing. "Why is George calling?"

"What?" Y/n was a bit curious herself. Considering the timezones, George should be asleep right now. Pausing the TV, she turned her attention to her boyfriend's phone.

"Hey Clay."

"What's up, George? Isn't it like early in the morning for you?" Clay raised a brow, moving his phone so Y/n would be able to see George as well.

"Yeah, I had to stay up to fix a YouTube video I need to get out today. I was about to go to bed and I checked Twitter-"

"Oh no." Clay made a short joke, only to be cut off by his friend.

"I don't know if it's trending for you in America, but you might as well look."

"What's going on?" He swiped up, taking him to his home screen so he could click on the little blue bird app. Y/n had grabbed her phone from the coffee table, opening up the app as well. "#Cancel Dream... #Y/n... #Dream SMP"

"Is... is Clay getting canceled for killing me in Minecraft?" Y/n scrolled through the tweets involving the hashtag 'Y/n.' She could see plenty of people defending her, but making it much bigger of a problem than it actually was.

"Oh, hey Y/n. But yeah, he is." George chuckled awkwardly, scrolling through his Twitter app as well.

"This is so fucking stupid."

"It really is. So we might as well get this cleared up with the fans as soon as possible. Do you want me to tweet something, or do you want to?" Y/n looked up at her boyfriend, it looked like he was thinking.

"Yeah, I'll tweet it. Don't worry about this, Y/n."

"Alright, whatever you say," she replied, pulling a blanket over her as she waited for Clay to finish typing his response.

"Here's what I'm gonna say: 'I can't believe you guys actually think me and @(y/n) are in an actual fight in real life. We have been good friends since forever, the fight was only roleplay. I love that you guys are so protective of Y/n, but no one's actually upset.' How's that sound?"

"I think that's good," George hummed softly.

"Yeah, I doubt you'll stay 'canceled' once you've explained to them it was all part of the SMP lore." The h/c girl smiled up at her boyfriend with a small nod.

"Alright, I'm gonna post it. George, I think you should go to bed because you're half asleep already."

Y/n turned, looking at her boyfriend's iPhone. "Go to sleep, Gogy!"

"Alright, alright... I'll talk to you guys later." The call had ended with Clay and Y/n saying goodbye to their friend while George simply yawned to them as a response.

As soon as the call was over, Clay looked at the response to his tweet. It didn't seem to be going too well. There had been a few fans who understood what was going on and responded with a paragraph as an apology for the misunderstanding. But most replies had been telling Clay he was bullshitting the fans or that he wasn't being honest.

"I'm sorry, Clay," his girlfriend had huffed as she read through the responses to his tweet.

"Honestly I'm just a bit pissed off. Literally, any time someone tries to 'cancel' me, it's over something stupid. I'm not a bad guy, it just feels like some people just don't want to see me succeed." Clay had excused himself to grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

It hurt Y/n to hear how upset her boyfriend was. He never got too upset over things, but seemed to take a small toll on him. "Hold on. Let me say something." The h/c girl couldn't be asked to post multiple tweets of her response to hate sent towards Clay over the internet. So what was better than a short video that could be posted to the blue bird app?

"Um, hey guys. I'd just like to make this quick. Stop sending hate towards Dream. The fight was roleplay and nothing more. I'm gonna be busy for the next couple of days so Wilbur thought of a good idea to help build SMP lore with me and Dream and we both agreed to the argument. Now stop sending the green man hate, or I'll commit war crimes or something-"

Y/n had been interrupted by the sound of Clay letting out a small giggle. "What? What did I say?"

"Nothing, just keep going with your video."

"Whatever, I'm cool. No matter what Dream says. Anyways, I'll speak to you all later." Y/n had hit the red button again, ending her video. Within seconds, the video had been uploaded to her Twitter account.

Placing her phone back down on the table, Y/n approached her boyfriend, wrapping her arms around his torso. "I'm really sorry about the hate, Clay. I love you."

"Don't apologize for something you can't control. I love you more." The brunette held his partner close, accepting her hug. Y/n always loved his hugs, she always felt so safe in his embrace.

The rest of the night had been spent with more cuddling and more Star Wars movies. Hours had passed before Y/n had even thought about the Twitter situation again. But for some reason, she had decided to look at the app again tonight.

It was 2 in the morning by now, Clay was half asleep. His head laid in the h/c girl's lap as she brushed a hand through his hair, her free hand opening up her Twitter app once again.

It had been a bit of a surprise to see a couple of trending hashtags had changed so quickly. What was trending now was #Dream, #Y/n,#(ship name), and #Dream's Laugh. This had to be about Y/n's short clip she posted. And by the looks of it, people had stopped acting so harsh towards Clay. But instead, they had decided to focus on the fact Dream and Y/n were hanging out together. Not to mention the fact Dream and let out a stupid little giggle because of Y/n. People had been apologizing to him through Twitter for being so hard on him.

"Babe."

"Hm?" Clay mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

"Pretty much everyone is apologizing to you over Twitter for being hardasses."

"Hm, that's good to hear."

"You're really tired, huh?" Y/n paused her scrolling to look down at her boyfriend.

"Yeah," He continued to mumble, followed by a short yawn.

"Alright, time for bed, babe." Y/n smiled to herself, beginning to carefully move away from Clay. "I can pack tomorrow and we can laugh over the stupid bird app tomorrow after you've gotten a good amount of sleep."

"I still can't believe Twitter tried canceling me over roleplay."

"I can't believe you got uncancelled by shippers."

Taglist: @notphilosopherstudentblog

#dreamwastaken #dream was taken #dream was taken x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dream smp #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #dream was taken imagine #dream was taken one shot #dreamwastaken imagine #dreamwastaken oneshot #dream smp x reader #dream smp imagine #dream smp oneshot

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smallblip · 3 years

Text

You asked, I deliver! Part II of Accidental baby acquisition💖 I lost one of the asks 😩 but anon who asked about baby Udo, I named the baby in your honour! Saddle up cowboys! I’m not good with sequels but here we are-

Babygate:

the scandal that implies that a certain boy band member cheated on his partner (another band member) and had a kid even when the mom was never pregnant.

- urban dictionary

—

Reiner thinks things are alright. Life is definitely picking up. Pieck still sends him excerpts of her dirty fanfiction to proofread, Bertholdt is still doing all he can to “retire at 30”, Annie might have eloped with said boyfriend. But he’s seeing Porco on the regular now, he’s really cute, he’s got a nice ass. Reiner can’t complain.

He’s also recently donated his Levi Ackerman standee. Only because it’s getting increasingly hard to reconcile the fact that he has a life sized cutout of his colleague’s boyfriend in his room.

What he can complain about is said colleague (and friend) dropping bombs on him. He’s one of the moderators of one of the bigger No Name servers. Sometimes he wonders if that’s a conflict of interest because, well, he knows the guy on a first name basis. But today he has other concerns. He sees his notifications blowing up and decides to go on the No Name server. And lo and behold. There’s a paparazzi shot of Levi and Hanji with a stroller taking a walk in a new channel called “MYSTERY FAMILY?”.

He cancels his plans with Porco. “Don’t text me for the next few hours, got a fire to fight.” He clicks send, and feels kinda bad, so he sends Porco really dank meme to appease him. (That doesn’t stop Porco from doing exactly what Reiner told him not to do and demanding an explanation every five minutes).

He forces himself to take a deep breath before texting Hanji-

“Hanji… I don’t mean to be rude but…

WHAT THE FUCK?”

—

So here begins babygate. A conspiracy theory that took the Internet by storm.

“Levi Ackerman had a secret marriage! He was keeping this from us from the start!”

“It’s a publicity stunt to keep No Name relevant during their hiatus!”

“It’s an elaborate scheme by the company to punish Levi for announcing the hiatus without their knowledge!”

“Levi’s mystery partner was sent by the lizard people to take control of his mind and produce half-lizard, half-human hybrid babies to take over the world! What a bitch!” (This is Hanji’s favourite).

And the internet’s favourite- this is all an elaborate scheme to cover up the scandalous love affair between Levi and Eren- the band’s guitarist.

“What the fuck?” Levi had said during dinner once, to which Reiner had to swallow his food and pretend he never read or actively looked up ereri content. Yes. Reiner knows the name of their ship.

Levi hadn’t been too worried before, but when pictures of them shopping for baby stuff leaked online, something snaps. Something snaps and Erwin tells him he needs more time to figure out the biggest PR crisis in No Name history.

It’s Levi. Levi is the PR crisis.

So in the meantime, no shock reveals, no more social media, (if possible) no more leaving the house with pregnant girlfriend in tow. “Don’t do ANYTHING.” Erwin had said, “especially not you!” Erwin had directed that at Eren, who suggested he makes an announcement. Erwin shudders. He remembers all the past scandals they got themselves into just because Eren, bless him, didn’t know when to shut up.

“I’m sorry…” Levi says to Hanji when they’re cuddled up on the couch watching a documentary on whale migration.

“Huh?” Hanji says, voice muffled through her incessant sniffling because “whales are delivered tail first, Levi! They wear their mothers like hats!”

He apologises for putting her through the mess that is him and his job. And Hanji smiles at him. He wonders if their kid will look like her. He’s hoping they would.

“Levi…” Hanji sighs, taking his face in her hands, “that night at the bar I thought to myself ‘this man has a face I would risk it all for’… I think this counts within the realms of ‘all’”

Levi scoffs, but a smile is threatening the corners of his lips. Erwin’s nagging over the phone fades a little and he sinks a little lower into the couch. He sighs one more time for good measure before saying-

“So… you wanna know which my favourite babygate theory is?”

—

“And you’re really not bothered by all this?” Reiner asks, in an emergency meeting that he had scheduled into her calendar. He hates that he’s packing things into her already busy schedule when she’s about to pop but, he figures it’s better now than when the baby’s actually out. He had booked a meeting room and everything, figuring if he projected some of the crazy shit they’re saying on the fan boards up on screen, Hanji would start taking this seriously. Because if Reiner knows anything, it’s that the fans will do anything to keep their ship afloat.

He scrolls past another post on the lizard people and Hanji gets him to pause.

“I mean… A little?” Hanji pinches her fingers together.

“Hanji…” Reiner sighs, “you and Levi discuss and rate babygate conspiracy theories you find online I don’t think you’re taking this seriously at all…”

Hanji looks at Reiner- an absolute state of panic. And she considers panicking for a moment. She’s read articles dissecting babygate and although they’re absolutely batshit, Hanji appreciates how well-researched they are. Which is a little scary. To be fair to Levi, he’s been trying to get her to worry. “I can’t keep you safe all the time, you have to be careful” like he’s going off to war somewhere. But it’s not in Hanji nature to worry about things like this. She’s a researcher at a lab who lived an ordinary life up until the point the universe hit her with a-

Sike! Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy! What are you gonna do about it?

And now she knows what headcanons and lemons are, and she really doesn’t know what to do with that knowledge. So Hanji decides, she’ll do nothing. She’ll go on indulgently long walks Levi in tow, she’ll talk his ear off about work. And like a good girlfriend, she’ll listen to his demos (and enjoy them) and tell him “are you sure anger rhymes with danger?”.

“I don’t really know how to worry about anything beyond our samples getting contaminated…” Hanji says, sheepish. Reiner sighs. He doesn’t want to be a wet blanket on Hanji’s life. He wants to be fun Reiner. Cool as a cucumber. Reiner who manages to make it through dinner at Hanji’s without having to excuse himself to hyperventilate in her bathroom because Levi is right there. And he’s so afraid that he might just be able to read his mind and find out he had looked up Levi Ackerman x y/n fanfiction once in his foolish youth (youth being approximately four months back)

Reiner shudders.

“Yeah okay… That’s um… That’s cool… Right?” He says.

Hanji shrugs.

—

So Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy. Now what?

You go into labour of course, with a matter of fact- “oh. Look Levi. The water broke.” All while refusing to leave the house until you demolish that amazing sandwich he made for you. You go into labour and you yell and grunt like a beast as you squeeze the life out of your baby daddy because he kinda deserves it. You both kinda deserve this pain. Take it as heavenly punishment for being horny and stupid if you will.

And in the middle of it Hanji thinks huh, this feels like a mix of a reality TV show from MTV and a badly written fanfiction. Except Hanji isn’t a teen mom and she’s too old for self-insert fiction that involves a lead singer of a popular band.

But Levi is here, and he doesn’t complain one bit even though he looks like he’s about to pass out. So as far as drunken one night stands go- this is pretty damn aspirational.

The baby enters the world with a huge cry.

“Kid’s got a huge set of lungs…” Levi says, but his own voice is quivering.

“Just like her dad…” Hanji smiles.

As he watches Hanji fall asleep with their baby on her chest, Levi thinks fuck it. Fuck keeping this under wraps. Fuck the fans and them enjoying how Eren gets on his nerves. Fuck Erwin and his “Levi. You’re giving me a headache. You are the cause of this headache.” Because the baby has Hanji’s nose and his eyes and he loves them more than anything in the world.

He snaps a picture of them and tags bigdaddyzoë-

“Welcome to the world, my love.”

—

Reiner can’t help the tears that well in his eyes after seeing the picture Hanji had sent him of the baby-

“He says hi to his favourite uncle!” Was the caption, and Reiner could only reply with a crying cat meme and an incoherent text that Hanji favourites.

He’s on the bus on the way to the hospital when his phone buzzes incessantly. It’s Porco.

“REINER WHAT THE FUCK.”

“LEVI ACKERMAN IS HANJI ZOË’S BABY DADDY?”

“HANJI ZOË MY PHD SUPERVISOR?”

“LEVI ACKERMAN OF NO NAME?”

“REINER WHAT THE FUCK?”

He sends a reply at the entrance of the hospital-

“Welcome to my world”

—

Reiner thinks things are alright. He’s one of the moderator of one of the bigger No Name servers, so he can block and remove people at his discretion. Some days he lets it get to his head. It makes him feel like a king. But today, he’s putting out fires.

Erwin decided their PR strategy was absolutely no strategy, because “they’re zooming in on the pixels Levi. Once they doubt the pixels, they won’t believe anything we’re saying”. With that. Babygate has officially taken on a life of its own. Eren still sends Levi babygate articles to annoy him, and to Hanji because she asked very nicely. Hanji thinks Erwin’s strategy makes sense, Levi thinks it’s just lazy. But Erwin framed a certificate that says “survived a PR crisis (sort of)” that Hanji had insisted be hung up on their wall, so that closes one chapter. Besides, Eren has been spotted going out on dates with a mystery girl. Which has the double effect of diverting attention away from Levi and exacerbating babygate because “see? Told you the company’s doing all they can to prove they’re not together!”

“Can’t you keep it in your pants?” Levi had thrown at Eren, to which he had responded cleverly with a-

“Could’ve said the same for you!”

Touché…

“See? That can’t be Levi! Look at how he’s smiling!”

“That can’t be a baby! Looks like an animatronic to me!”

“Do they even make animatronics that realistic?”

Reiner pins his “no slander” rule- one day they’ll get it. Or at least he would’ve gotten rid of all the people that don’t.

“Who’s this bigdaddyzoë anyway?”

“Maybe she isn’t real? Company probably invented her…”

“Heard she’s a crazy groupie who got knocked up…”

“Heard she’s hot…”

… several people are typing

—

“So… I heard from Reiner you were defending my honour in the server?” Hanji quirks an eyebrow.

Levi shrugs. Whatever goes down in the server stays between Leviackerman173810 (leviackerman and all 173809 permutations of said username had already been taken) and the hundreds of people who haven’t quite figured out he’s the real deal. Besides, Erwin has issued him three warnings so it’s best to lay low for now.

“My hero…” Hanji chuckles, pressing a kiss on Levi’s head. Below them, baby Udo wriggles and yawns against the fabric of Levi’s shirt. Cute.

So Levi Ackerman is your baby daddy. Now what? You look at your son and know he’s going to break hearts like his father of course. And if you’re Levi, you pray to god he never asks about babygate because Hanji has read up enough about it to be considered a connoisseur.

One day the internet will break when they find out the identity of bigdaddyzöe. But for now baby Udo has his parents wrapped around his tiny fingers and he doesn’t quite understand the concept of him being the spawn of every typical band member x y/n fanfiction. Or the centre of a very popular, very absurd, yet strangely believable internet conspiracy theory. Or the canon plot that has sunk one of the biggest No Name ships. And that’s okay.

#babygate was a 1D conspiracy theory #levihan #whoopwhoop!#levi x hange #levi x Hanji #Drabble #inbox #anon #mine #again Pieck is me #un beta-Ed I’m sure it’s full of mistakes #shingeki no kyojin #Levi Ackerman #hange Zoë #celebrity au

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