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ttuesday · 3 years

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HCs of the fellers when you can’t sleep

It’s the middle of the night and you’re wide awake. The man beside you had been asleep for a couple of hours now, leaving out small snores every few minutes. You didn’t want to wake him but you don’t know what else to do. You gently nudge him awake and explain your predicament

Arthur

Arthur blinks a few times after you wake him, slowly coming to his senses. It takes him a while for his brain to work out what you're saying but you knew he’d be understanding and want to help you get some rest.

"You want some water?" he asks, shifting in the bed. You decline but Arthur gets up anyway, groaning as he stands. "Arthur, really it's fine" you insist.

"I know, I know," he says "just give me a minute". He leaves you in your shared tent and you wonder what on Earth he’s doing. Maybe he just had to go to the toilet, or maybe he was going to get you some water anyway.

Arthur comes back a couple minutes later with an extra blanket in his arms. "In case you're cold" he mumbles. He lies down on the bed again and wraps the blanket around the both of you.

With the extra layering of warmth from the blanket and Arthur by your side, it's not long until your eyes get heavy. As you fall asleep, you cuddle into Arthur. He smiles lazily, happy he could help.

Charles

Charles slowly opens his eyes as you tell him you can't sleep. He automatically wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer to his chest.

"Is there a reason why you're so restless?" he asks, his voice deeper than usual. "Nothing really, I just can't relax" you mumble against him. Charles hums in response, relating to your answer.

You listen to the sound of his heartbeat as he slowly runs his fingers through your hair. He alternates between brushing your hair with his fingers and trailing his hand up and down your back.

His chest slowly rises and falls with this steady breathing and soon you begin drift off to a dreamless sleep.

Dutch

You nudge Dutch awake and whisper your situation to him. He listens to you with one eye open, still half asleep.

"I told you not to drink coffee so late" he sighs, turning on his side to face you properly. Dutch wraps his arm around your waist, encouraging you to shuffle closer to him.

He rests his chin on top of your head and sleepily says "You know what I read today?". You open your mouth to answer but he's already talking again.

"The whole point of America is freedom., freedom of thought... and speech... and uh," Dutch yawns, his words becoming more slurred as he slowly falls back to sleep "and freedom of action too, of course".

Luckily, Dutch droning on about Evelyn Miller again makes you very bored, and with that boredom comes a wave of tiredness. You're not sure if he's still awake or if he's progressed to sleep-talking about Miller. Either way, you soon fall asleep.

Micah

"Will you quit moving?" Micah snaps as you toss and turn in the bed. You don’t even get the chance to nudge him awake, your movement being enough to get his attention. You know Micah only gets a few hours of sleep a night so you understand why he's grumpy.

You sigh, telling him you can't sleep. Before you can continue, Micah grabs you and pulls you on top of him. "There, now sleep" he mutters as if you on top of him sorts out all your sleeping problems.

You'd expect a man who also has issues sleeping to be a bit more patient with you but this is Micah. If you try to talk again, he’ll probably just shush you.

Micah rarely finds himself in an environment he’s comfortable to sleep in and he doesn’t want to waste the opportunity. You cuddle into him as if he's your personal pillow. Micah keeps his arms loosely around you, holding you in place.

Although he closes his eyes again, Micah doesn't go back to sleep until he's sure you're asleep. He’s not great at showing it but he does care about you in his own strange way.

Javier

Javier is immediately wide awake after you carefully nudge him. "Are you ok?" he asks, slightly panicked "Is something wrong?". You explain the situation to him and he breathes a sigh of relief that there isn’t a major problem.

He takes a minute to relax in the bed, lazily stretching before asking you what time it is. He slowly sits up in the bed and swings his legs over the side.

You ask him what he's doing and he explains "There's no point in us laying here if you can't sleep". He stands and holds his hand out to you.

You both quietly get dressed, Javier wrapping one of this ponchos around you. "Let's go for a walk," he suggests "maybe that'll tire you out".

As you leave your tent, Javier puts his arm around your shoulder and starts talking about how ye could go fishing instead and watch the sunrise. You haven’t even been up for five minutes when he suggests the both of you spend tomorrow night in the local saloon with a proper bed.

John

"Mmhm" is all John says when you explain your predicament. He stays quiet for a few seconds and you wonder if he’s still asleep.

"John?" you whisper. John hums again, moving in the bed. Eyes barely open, he sits up straight and pats his lap. “C’mon then, let’s try and get you to sleep” he smiles goofily.

You shuffle along the bed, moving so that your head is resting on his lap. First he massages your shoulders and then up your neck and to your head.

He's not great at giving massages but he's definitely trying his best and it is comforting. Eventually you fall asleep and John dozes off with your head still on his lap.

He'll complain tomorrow about falling back to sleep in such an uncomfortable position and how it hurt his back so be prepared to return the favour and give him a massage in the morning.

Bill

Bill listens to you while he lets out a number of big yawns. "Have you tried relaxing?" he asks, genuinely trying to help. When you tell him that yes, you've already tried to relax, a mischievous smile spreads across his face "I know a good way to relax".

You raise an eyebrow, not sure what he's insinuating. Bill makes a soft whistling noise and you crease your brow. A part of you worries that he's trying to get Brown Jack to wander into your tent but a few seconds later, Cain comes running in.

You can try and shoo Cain away but either way, he hops up on the bed and Bill starts to pat the dog’s head. He's a messy dog and you'll definitely have to change the sheets in the morning in fear of getting fleas but petting him surprisingly relaxes you.

It relaxes Bill too and within a few minutes, he's curled up asleep next to you and Cain's sprawled across the both of you, sleeping on his back. Although Bill’s method doesn’t exactly help you get to sleep any quicker, it does warm your heart that he’s at least tried to help.

Sean

After you wake Sean and explain what's going on, you're surprised when he smiles. "What is it?" you ask curiously. "Now we can have one of those deep late night conversations" he beams, basically jumping at the opportunity.

You cuddle into him as he thinks out loud "We could talk about death... no actually, that's too depressing. How about the meaning of life? Wait, no, I'd be scared Dutch overhears and starts blabbering on about his philosophy".

Your eyes slowly droop, his voice comforting you. "How about we talk about oceans, they're really deep" Sean continues.

You start to subconsciously zone out Sean's ramblings as you doze off to sleep .

Finally, you’re asleep... but that's when Sean pokes you. "Hey what're ya doing? You can't sleep now, I'm wide awake!".

#I've had a couple of shitty nights sleep so I did this lmao #headcanons #writings #arthur morgan #charles smith #dutch van der linde #micah bell #javier escuella #john marston #bill williamson #sean macguire #rdr2 #gn!reader

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spookyboywhump · 3 years

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While Cain is,,,, enjoying his birthday, Zander is having his own issue

Takes place on the same day as This Piece but isn’t really connected, and heavily references and discusses the events of last year’s April First, which, heed the warnings please

CW: Discussions of death, references to: mock execution, death, suicidal thoughts, unsafe gun practices, sibling death tw, alcoholism, drinking, if you feel the need to avoid this one then please do

***

“Do you remember what happened that night…?” Zander asked slowly. He’d been quiet so far, ever since he stumbled in through Elias’ front door, clearly upset but unable to say why. He was finally beginning to gather his thoughts, think clearer, which he sure was of some relief to Elias.

“What night…?” He asked gently, sitting beside him on the floor. He hadn’t touched any of the furniture on his way in, when Eli sat on the couch Zander immediately, instinctively, knelt on the floor beside him, and he still had yet to notice. When he was in a better mood, he would laugh it off, say it was from the “dog brain”, but he wasn’t in that mood right now, he wasn’t exactly sure what he was feeling aside from bad, all he knew was that he was on the floor, and he moved for sit with him, and Eli was there which was the only good thing he had right now.

“A-April first, last year.” He said. He didn’t keep track of days at the best of times, it was by complete chance he saw the calendar the day before, dread creeping up on him the closer and closer it got to midnight. He’d been a mess all day but he couldn’t explain it to his moms, didn’t even know how to begin, so instead he came here.

“Zander I… I never could keep track of the date there, I’m sorry…” He said slowly.

“I-It was this time last year, and I, I left for a while, Cain pulled me out but he made you stay- remember? And then I- I came back a while later and I… I couldn’t say anything…”

“I… think I remember…” He nodded slowly. “You weren’t gone for too long, long enough I got worried of course, but when you came back you were… quiet… I knew something was wrong but you seemed like you wanted to be left alone…”

“So I- I didn’t tell you then.” Zander said, finally getting confirmation to what he’d been wondering. Everything after the incident was a haze in his mind, but now that he was sure he could remember that, he remembered that he wanted to tell him so bad and he couldn’t, as if the words were trapped inside of him, impossible to get out. Elias never asked about it so he never brought it up, until now anyway when he seemed to feel the opposite, as if he needed to get it out.

“No… I don’t remember much else from that night, I know while you were gone I heard something outside but I wasn’t sure what- everything was muffled in that room, you know? But when you came back and you weren’t hurt I thought everything was fine…” He said, and Zander shook his head, shifting to pull his knees up to his chest. He was vaguely aware of the fact he was shaking, he’d been shaking the entire day it was just normal at that point.

“H-he dragged me out of there and, and he tied my hands behind my back, and he blindfolded me…” He started, though he knew this wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary for Cain. He still remembered it clearly though, everything before the haze was so vivid and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, it was somehow all he could think about. “He, Uh, took me outside and made me kneel, outback I saw later and he- fuck, he put a gun to my fucking head, what the fuck?!” He cried as it finally dawned on him, as if it took a whole year for him to realize that it wasn’t as harmless as he’d hoped it was. He didn’t look at Eli, he didn’t see the look on his face but he could only imagine it was one of horror.

“H-He what…?”

“He put a gun to my head, he fucking- I thought he was going to fucking kill me! I-I begged for my goddamn life because I really thought he was going to fucking kill me!” He was rambling now, speaking faster than he could think. “And-and I thought, I thought about it because I thought I wanted to die but I didn’t, I was so scared I begged him and he went- he took a few steps back and he fired it, he shot at me and purposefully missed and for a moment I was so fucking scared I thought I had died!” He anxiously raked a hand through his own hair, a desperate attempt to soothe himself it seemed.

“Zander- that’s fucking torture.” Elias told him, keeping his voice low and steady, almost as if he were forcing himself to stay calm.

“It is, isn’t it?! He- I thought, I thought he killed me, but he didn’t and he fucking laughed at me! I was so fucking angry I just started yelling at him, I can’t even remember what I said I just yelled and yelled and I couldn’t- couldn’t say anything when I got back.” He said. “But I- but I sat there, and I, I kept thinking about what would’ve happened if he hadn’t missed!”

“Hey, don’t-“

“No, no I mean, I mean I didn’t know and that scared me, if he had actually killed me what- what would’ve happened?! My moms, they would’ve never known, they wouldn’t have known I was alive all that time only to fucking die there, and you, what would you have done if I was gone, I-I wouldn’t have even gotten to say goodbye, and, and we hadn’t even met Cathal yet now that I think about it, I wouldn’t have gotten to know him, and maybe- maybe that would’ve been better for him but he made me so happy and I would’ve never gotten that!” He didn’t realize he was crying until his voice cracked, attempting to blink the tears from his eyes.

“He didn’t kill you though, you, you’re here, you survived everything…” Elias said gently. He tried to place his hand on Zander’s arm but he quickly jerked away, pushing himself back from him. He stared at him with wide eyes, taking slow breaths as tears streamed down his face. He backed off though, lowering his hand even as he looked worried about him.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry not… not now…” He said, and Eli nodded. He went back to anxiously combing through his own hair, still shaking as he sat there and murmured, “I know, I know I-I’m here, and I’m glad I’m here, I just… I can’t believe he fucking did that!”

“I mean, it is Cain you’re talking about, is that really that far out…?”

“Yes! I mean, no, no not completely I guess, I just, I didn’t expect it, he usually didn’t do things like that, I just… I wish I knew what he’d been thinking. I wish I knew why he fucking did that, I wish I could ask him but he’s fucking gone and I don’t know where the hell he fucking is!”

“We’re looking…” He tried to offer as comfort, but it wasn’t enough for him right now. He felt sick to his stomach, he’d broken out in a cold sweat and he couldn’t stop shaking, he couldn’t even focus on his own racing thoughts, all he could focus on was dragging a hand through his hair over and over and it took him far too long to realize that he was pulling out strands of his own hair. He finally lowered his hand, and hesitantly, Elias moved closer to him, still careful not to touch him.

“I could’ve died…” He said, his voice softer now, unsteady. “I- There were so, so many times when I could’ve died, but… that time it was so, so close, and I… fuck, Eli, it was bad...”

“I’m sorry, Zander…” He said softly. He scooted closer to him, enough they were barely touching, and he seemed to finally feel comfortable enough with this. After a few moments he reached over and grabbed Eli’s hand, squeezing just slightly, and for a while neither of them spoke, Zander taking slow, shuddering breaths as he finally seemed to calm down, or at least, tire himself out.

“I don’t feel good…” He murmured after a while, and Elias looked up at him.

“You want something for it…?”

“You’re going to offer me beer, aren’t you?” He glanced down at him.

“Yeah, pretty much.” He said, and Zander hesitated before nodding.

“Yeah, sure.” He said. He knew he should’ve denied it, he knew Eli would drink too and he didn’t want him to but he couldn’t tell him what to do right now, not when he felt as though he were falling apart. He was at the point that he desperately wished he’d taken some painkillers before coming over here, anything to dull the way he felt, but for right now, he assumed alcohol would have to do.

***

Zander drank until he passed out. He got loud first- he usually didn’t drink around him so Elias didn’t see it often but he started rambling again, even less coherent this time, a whole lot of ”Fuck Cain!” that he would’ve found funny if he wasn’t so worried about him. He managed to get him to his room while he was still just barely coherent, but he passed out not long after that, and he didn’t mind.

Hours had passed and he still couldn’t sleep himself. Instead he laid there, clinging to Zander as tight as he could, listening to his snoring, a sound he’d long since gotten used to. He didn’t know how he held himself together so long but he couldn’t help it now, tears welled up in his eyes as he held onto him, still processing the fact that he could’ve lost him.

He loved Zander. He could never replace his brother but he didn’t need to “replace” him, he wasn’t Everett but he was his own person, a person that Eli had come to love the same way he loved his brother and if he had died, he wasn’t sure what he would’ve done, he wasn’t sure if he would’ve even survived being with Cain if he weren’t there. He needed him, he needed the relationship they had, and the thought of losing him that soon hurt him so much.

They were safe now, though. They were free, they weren’t dogs anymore, he didn’t want to have to worry about it anymore. He knew there were problems he should have worried about but right now, as he laid awake clinging to him and crying as quietly as he could, he decided to ignore those things, and just be thankful Zander was alive.

#whump #my writing #my oc's #wren #zander #death tw #sibling death tw #mock execution #suicidal thoughts tw #unsafe gun practices #near death experience #for a piece where nobody gets hurt this one sure required a lot of warnings #damn

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comradelup · 3 years

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64 Lucretia and taako?

Taako’s angry. And he’s angry at that. When he’s angry— when he’s stressed in general, he bakes. Everyone likes cupcakes, right?

He forces himself to unclench his jaw as he’s frosting, focusing on the repetitive motion of swirling it around each one over and over. He blinks and raises his eyebrows, moving his face in order to stretch and relax the muscles.

“What are yo—”

Taako jumps, letting out an involuntary yelp. One of the cupcakes is smudged and imperfect now, and he scowls at it before turning to scowl at the source of the distraction.

Lucretia looks like a deer in headlights. “I-I’m sorry I was just seeing what you were up to I didn’t mean to—”

Taako presses a finger to the tip of her nose, effectively silencing her. Her eyes go crossed as she stares at it.

“It’s all good,” he says simply. He drops his hand and goes back to work, ignoring the messed up one as if it wasn’t even there.

“…Oh,” Lucretia says, “Okay. Is… is everything okay?”

“Yes?” Taako says, hackles rising. He doesn’t need anyone prying, certainly not this nerdy human who barely saw the world before this mission.

Okay edgelord, calm down, Taako tells himself, Luce isn’t the guilty party here.

“I just… you only bake this much when there’s something going on,” Lucretia says, unaware of Taako’s internal monologue. “Usually it’s a party or something, but I remember that giant cake you made when Lup died one cycle.”

It’s been… about five decades now. Taako’s much older than that, but he’s never spent five decades with a person— besides Lup, that is. Still, it’s a long time. He should’ve guessed that in that time these people would get to know him.

“Yeah. Yeah okay,” Taako says, putting down his tube of frosting and bracing his hands on the countertop. “I’m… kinda goin’ through it right now.”

Lucretia finally moves to sit down in one of the island chairs. She eyes the cupcakes before her but doesn’t take one without permission from him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Taako says. No way. “I just need to get over it. …This stupid— this is stupid! I don’t need to be jealous, she’s my sister! She’s not gonna fuckin’ drop me because she’s got a boyfriend. I’m being stupid!”

Whoops. Making a promise in one breath and breaking it in the next, way to go Taako. He glares at the counter, at his frosting covered fingers, then up at Lucretia.

“I won’t tell anyone, promise,” she says, which Taako didn’t know he needed to hear. “But I think you should talk to her about it.” That, less so.

“Okay, yeah, I’ll just take advice from you, Only Child,” he says.

“I may have been born an only child but I’ve lived with Magnus for fifty years, I get what having siblings is like,” Lucretia says, with that gently joking tone of hers, “My Cain Instinct has never been better.”

When Taako doesn’t respond, she says, “Do you want coffee? I could go for some.”

He sees the olive branch, in all its caffeinated glory. Usually he’d push it away, snap it in half, even. But this time, he sighs. “Yeah, sure.”

Lucretia smiles as she stands, and Taako manages a small smile back.

<><><>

Raven’s Roost is in a constant state of sunrise. The early morning feel of being awake when no one else is yet defines Magnus’ house, and it’s a strangely good look on him. He’s grown up, with his memory of the century tied with his memory of Julia; Taako’s kind of pissed that she made him mature in a few short years when the six of them couldn’t do that in ten decades. “I guess that proves she’s one hell of a woman,” he said to Magnus, who agreed with a loving look in his eye.

Taako’s been couch surfing. A nomadic childhood plus a career in running away made him permanently restless. He’s long since worked through his jealousy of Barry and Lup’s relationship, but he’s now jealous of their work. Lup gets restless like him, but she can just go out, kick bad guy ass with her husband, and be back in time for dinner.

The reapers can teleport, so Taako’s traveling hasn’t impacted the four of them much. Whenever Taako misses one of them (or all of them…) he just picks up his stone and a portal (or three…) is carved into the air.

Right now, he’s staying at Raven’s Roost. After Wonderland, his legs have been slowly getting better, and he’s finding that he doesn’t need his wheelchair as often as usual. So Magnus is cooking him up a personalized pair of crutches that should get him back on his feet, literally.

There’s just one complication: Lucretia. (At some point she stopped being a sister and started being a complication and Taako’s getting used to it, even if it makes him want to break whatever he’s holding at the moment.) She’s staying in Raven’s Roost too, apparently this is her second home. Whenever she takes a break from her job of rebuilding the world they broke, she comes to be protected by her brother, and Magnus welcomes her with open arms. And of course he takes in Taako at the same time. Magnus is a man with a heart full of love, but a head empty of subtlety.

Taako watches the coffee pot do its thing, the smell of caffeine and drowsiness a perfect accompaniment to the dozens of windows letting in the morning light. Everything is still, and Taako’s too aware, so he notices when footsteps creep quietly into the room.

“Good morning,” she says, voice low. She’s careful not to be loud, but even her tendency to silence speaks volumes.

“Morning,” he says, much less careful. His tired voice cuts through air and stabs ears. His own twitch in annoyance at himself, but not everyone can carry themselves with as much gravitas as her.

He hears Lucretia take in a breath, about to speak, and she sighs. “Taako, I’m sorry.”

She’s said that a lot. They’ve fallen into a pattern of her trying to talk about it (it: an unspoken thing wafting between them like the smell of rotten garbage) and him ignoring her; she still hasn’t stopped trying every so often, but he still hasn’t stopped refusing her.

At his silence, she continues, rambling, “I don’t even know what to say, I know I shouldn’t have done it and I know I was cruel and I’m not asking you to forgive me or even like me but please I just want to talk.”

He doesn’t have to turn to see what she’s doing. Even when she looks and acts different, he can pick up her habits; he knows her too well. She’s probably holding up a hand, trying to hold onto a staff that isn’t there. He perfectly times his mental image of her dropping it in frustration with the sound of her hand colliding with the fabric of her clothes.

When he’s still silent, she says, “Please?”

“Do you want coffee? I could go for some,” he says. He’s already rising up in his floating chair to pull out two mugs, setting them on the counter.

“…I’d love some. Thank you.”

He looks over his shoulder at her as she sits at the island. The kitchen is similar to the one on the Starblaster; seeing as Magnus built the house himself, Taako guesses it isn’t coincidence. She offers him an uneasy smile and he manages a small smile back, unable to make eye contact.

“It’s two sugars, right?” he asks, as if he doesn’t have it memorized.

“Yes,” she says, as if she doesn’t know he has it memorized.

#🎶 this got out of haaaaand 🎶 and ended up 1300 words loooong 🎶#1300 exactly actually. fun!#taz #taz balance #taz fic #balance #taako #lucretia #loner squad #writing #ask #anon #this was cathartic! ty for requesting

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superbadassnatural · 6 years

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Like Wildfire

Summary: After almost an year together, Y/N finally tells Dean she doesn’t know how to drive. Dean is determined to give lessons to his girlfriend about driving. However, in the meantime Dean becomes more aware of his feelings for Y/N, making him wonder what should he do. Pairing: Dean x reader Word count: 2.3 k Warnings: cute Dean, like really, really cute. I think that’s all. A/N: This is my very late entry for “Unpopular Songs Hellfire Challenge” by @dancing-the-hellfire-rumba. The song I chose is Wildfire - seafret. The lyrics is bolded and flashbacks in italic. And this is from Dean’s POV. Hope you enjoy!

(x)

“C’mon, Y/N,” I grumbled for the millionth time. “You drove this far, now you just have to park.” I tried to calm her down. Again.

Her clammy hands squeeze the steering wheel. “I’m trying, but I can’t,” she sighed. “I don’t know how to drive and I really do not know how to park the damn car,” her voice rose a little. “Especially Baby.” She blurted.

I sighed, running my hands through my hair. Y/N’s nervous about driving any car and she feared that I get mad at her if she scratches Baby. Even though I told her vehemently I won’t be angry, she still doesn’t believe me.

“Honey?” A soft voice called me. Slowly I opened my eyes, blinking rapidly. “Sorry I woke you. I can’t sleep.” Y/N cupped my face, pecking my lips.

I took a better look at her and her eyes seemed tired, just as her voice. “What’s the matter?” I asked quietly, bringing her close to me. She was now resting on my chest. “What’s been running through this pretty little head of yours?” I ran my fingers through the bare skin of her back, soothing her.

Y/N’s breath was heavy. I knew she was twirling on bed, trying to sleep. This doesn’t happen often. She usually doesn’t have difficult to sleep, but this night is different for some reason. As she remained silent, I’ve tried to think about anything that could make her feeling like not sleeping, but I came up with nothing.

“Dean?” She pulled away a little, so she could look at me. I hummed in response. “Promise me you won’t laugh or think I’m stupid.” Y/N’s voice were serious, she brought her hand to my hair, caressing my scalp.

“There’s nothing in this world that could make you look stupid,” I caressed her flushed cheek, feeling her relaxing at my touch. “What’s the matter, sweetie? What’s got you thinking something like that?” I tilted my head in confusion.

Y/N closed her eyes, taking deep breaths. “This is stupid. I swear. You should go back to sleep.”

“No, it’s not,” I interrupted her. “It isn’t stupid if it gets you awake in the middle of night. And I won’t go back to sleep, if you don’t tell me what’s going on,” I tried to convince her. “I’m starting to get worried, Y/N.” I kissed her softly.

“I don’t know how to drive!” she blurted. My eyes widened at her voice tone. “And I felt so bad for not telling you. You... You are such an expert in cars and I can’t even drive a little. I... I feel terrible for not telling you sooner. I’m sorry... I-“ I pressed my lips against hers, stopping her rambling.

“Well, that’s not a big deal,” I said. She blinked a few times, surprised. Her widened eyes staring at me like I was crazy. She opened her mouth to speak, but I pressed my finger to it, not letting her. “I didn’t born knowing how to drive,” I said the obvious, pushing her to lay on my chest. “My dad taught me how to drive and I taught Sammy. I’m not gonna lie, the poor guy had no idea how to manage a car, but he learned,” I felt her mouth curved into a smile against my chest. “And I can teach you. You’re smart. You’re gonna learn it faster than I did. And I’m gonna be a hell of a good teacher. I’ll put Post-it’s on everything to remind you what are they and what they do,” she giggled at my excitement. I’ve finally got to ease my girl a little and make her laugh. “If you want it, of course.” I shrugged, trying to hide my excitement.

“I love you, Dean,” she kissed me. I couldn’t help but smiling against her lips. She pulled away, turning off the lamp, the room got dark again. “Now, go to sleep, sleeping beauty.” she laughed, kissing me goodnight.

“Is that a yes?” I asked eager.

“Oh great. Now you can’t sleep,” she laugh at me again. “You such a sap!”

“Y/N, listen to me,” cupping her face, I spoke. “First, don’t stress yourself over parking a car,” I pecked her lips. “And B, you’re of the most badass women I’ve ever met, of course you can do it. And, yeah, Baby will get easy on you.” I smiled softly at her, caressing her cheek.

A found smile appeared on Y/N’s lips, a chuckle coming out of her mouth. “You just did the ‘first and b’ thing,” we laughed at my own stupidity. Even though she’s already said it’s cute, I think it’s stupid, dumbness. She pressed her lips in a thin line, her expression turning into a serious one. “You think you know all about it, then it seems you’re wrong, Dean,” she turned, her hands on the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. “I’m done with this whole ‘learning how to drive a damn car’! I can’t do it, okay?” she blurted. “And if I stay here, I’m gonna fight you and I won’t fight you.” Y/N got out of the car fast, leaving me there so we wouldn’t fight. She hit it out of the park before it had even begun.

I watched Y/N walk away, going straight to the grocery store, her fists clenched. It amazes me that we've been together for almost an year and I had no idea she didn't know how to drive. The countless times she refused driving Baby were normal to me, I thought she didn't like it. After parking the damn car, I went to the frustrated woman that I can gladly call girlfriend.

"Hey." I called her. Y/N glanced at me, a pout on her soft lips. "Don't give me that face." I said, kissing her lips.

I took the trolley from her. She crossed her arms to her chest, shaking her head. “Let’s just not talk about it, okay?” I nodded. Sighing, she spoke. “It’s just that... I... You... you are such a great driver. You drive out of states, you get away from danger, you do awesome things while driving a car. And I... I can’t do none of these things.” She let her arms fall to her body, her head bowed down. I knew she was feeling embarrassed and she didn’t have to.

“But you’re learning,” I stopped, she followed me. With my finger placed under her chin, she looked up to me. Her big eyes glassy and her lips pressed into a tight smile. “But... hey! Let’s not talk about it, right?” She nodded, pecking my lips into a chaste kiss.

Quietly I got up of the bed, trying not to make a sound that could wake Y/N. Walking carefully, I got out the bedroom and made my way to kitchen. I opened up a beer to set down a little. Tonight I’m the one who can’t sleep. My mind was whirling for the last hours non-stopping. My heart races every time I look at Y/N’s peaceful sleeping form, it races like it was the first time I was talking to her.

I met Y/N in one of the darkest periods of my life. I met her when I still had the Mark of Cain, and I remember exactly how everything stopped at the moment I laid eyes on her. Except for my heart, it’d started beating so fast, but it was good. It wasn’t because I was angry or needed to kill, it was just the effect a woman had on me. Y/N frightened all of my demons and stood by my side despite everything. She was exactly what I needed on that dark time of my life. I needed a sunshine in the darkness burning out. But now I know that I’m a fuel and she’s the spark.

“Hey,” I heard a sleeping voice. “What’re you doing awake?” Sam asked, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Can’t sleep,” I handed him a beer. “You?” I asked before taking a sip.

“Me too,” he sighed, drinking his cold beer. “Wait a sec,” I turned to him, my brows furrowed. “Since when can’t you sleep? You’re always sleeping,” Sam laughed at me. “What’s got into you?”

I sighed at his childish attitude. “Y/N.” I mumble.

Sam tilted his head, his brows furrowed. “What do you mean? Did you fight?” he asked confused.

“No!” I said quickly. “It’s just that I’m feeling something weird, you know?” I looked down, still confused and unbeknownst of what I’m feeling.

“No, I actually don’t,” he crossed his arms, looking me from head to toe, his eyes narrowed. “What do you mean weird?” he asked. “You think she did something or what?”

I closed my eyes, sighing. “There’s something in here,” I pointed to my chest. “That feels weird,” I mumbled. “Like really weird. And I gotta confess, man, I’ve never felt something alike,” I sighed, taking a sip of my beer. “And I don’t know how to describe but it’s different from everything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s like...” I stopped rambling, finally looking at Sammy and understanding what is it. “Like love.” my eyes widened as I spoke the words.

Sam smiled a little, shaking his head. “It is love, Dean,” he said. “I’m surprised you only found out now,” I tilted my head, not getting his point. “After everything you and Y/N’ve been through how could you not know you love her?” as I heard Sam’s words, everything started to make sense to me. Everything was crystal clear now. “The way you look at her, the way you talk about her, even the way you act when she’s around is different. That’s love, man.” he grinned at me.

My mind started working and put everything together. “How come I’ve never realized it before? It was right before me,” I spoke amazed. “Oh Sammy, now everything makes sense,” I started to pace. “Y/N and I... we... we are bound to each other’s heart. Caught, torn, and pulled apart,” I thought out loud. I could feel Sam’s eyes on me like I was a freak. “And I... I...” I stuttered a little before continuing. “And to my word now I’ll be true, can’t stop this breaking loose. This love is like wildfire,” mumbling, I stopped pacing. “Like wildfire.” I whispered to myself.

Sam giggled a little. “Alright, Romeo,” he patted my back. “As much as I’m happy for you and Julieta, you need to go back to sleep,” he pressed his lips together, after mocking at me. “Alright, go.” he pushed me a little towards the stairs.

I went straight to my room, a little more calm now. I’ve made up my mind. I know exactly what I need to do and how I’ll do it.

After discussing it with Y/N, I finally convinced her to let me teach her how to park a car, now that she knows how to drive one. She’s not that excited like she was before, but she’s trying to look a little cheered up for me.

“Alright, you drove this far, now you just need to park.” I instructed her.

“Okay,” she sighed. “I can do this,” she took a deep breath, holding the wheel very tight and looking forward with wide eyes. “Dean, how do I do this? I’m not sure how to-“

I interrupted her. “It’s okay,” my voice seemed to calm her a little. I placed my hand on her thigh to comfort her. “You just have to turn your wheels all the way to the right,” she nodded, doing as she was told. “That’s it. Now, slowly back up until you’re at a 45-degree angle, then stop,” She nodded, her lips pressed in a thin line. “Just a little bit more,” I asked. “Alright, turn the wheels all the way to the left,” I spoke. As she did, I couldn’t help but smile proudly. “Now, back up very slowly until you are parallel with the curb.” She did it perfectly, and my smile grew even wider.

“I did it!” she blurted proudly. “Dean, I did it! I parked the car!” Y/N wouldn’t stop looking forward, a big grin planted on her lips. “Dean, I-“ she turned to look at me, but stopped as soon as she saw what I had on my hands. “Dean, what is this?”

“Marry me?” I asked, holding the tiny black box with diamond ring on it. “I’ve been thinking about this and about what I feel and it’s just as feelings arranged deep down inside. Try describing a love you can’t design,” I confessed staring into her shining eyes. “More and more, every inch of me is holding on. This is it, all the flames are burning strong. I know we’ve been together for a short time, but we... we are... we are bound to each other’s heart. Caught, torn, and pulled apart,” I smiled as I saw the tears trailed down her cheek. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Loving you, worshiping your body and proving to you that you’re the most precious and awesome woman on this damn world,” I caressed her cheek, whipping her tears. “I love you, Y/N. I love you so much. With all of my being. Will you marry me?” I asked with tears in my eyes, holding the ring and her hand.

“Of course! Of course I’ll marry you!” she kissed me like her life depended on it. Her soft lips pressed against mine into a chaste kiss. Expressing all she was feeling just by the press of lips.“It seems like this love is like wildfire, isn’t it?” she smiled. Our foreheads pressed against each other as I slid the ring into her finger.

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enbysaurus-wrex · 7 years

Text

Find My Bluebird (Ramble On)

Chapter One - Gollum and the Evil One

Leaves are falling all around

It's time I was on my way

Thanks to you I'm much obliged

For such a pleasant stay

But now it's time for me to go

The autumn moon lights my way

For now I smell the rain

And with it pain

And it's headed my way

Ah, sometimes I grow so tired

But I know I've got one thing I got to do

Ramble on

And now's the time, the time is now

To sing my song

I'm goin' 'round the world, I got to find my girl

On my way

I've been this way ten years to the day

Ramble on

Gotta find the queen of all my dreams

Got no time for spreadin' roots

The time has come to be gone

And tho’ our health we drank a thousand times

It's time to ramble on

Ramble on

And now's the time, the time is now

To sing my song

I'm going 'round the world, I got to find my girl

on my way

I've been this way ten years to the day

I gotta ramble on

I gotta find the queen of all my dreams

I ain't tellin' no lie

Mine's a tale that can't be told

My freedom I hold dear

How years ago in days of old

When magic filled the air

T’was in the darkest depths of Mordor

I met a girl so fair

But Gollum, and the evil one

crept up and slipped away with her

Her, her, yeah

Ain't nothing I can do, no

I guess I keep on rambling

I'm gonna, yeah, yeah, yeah

Sing my song (I gotta find my baby)

I'm going 'round the world (I gotta ramble on sing my song, gotta work my way around the world baby, baby)

Ramble on, yeah

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, my baby

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doodoo doodoo doodoo doodoo doodoo

I gotta keep searching for my baby (baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby)

I gotta keep-a-searchin' for my baby (my, my, my, my, my, my, my baby)

~~~

Dean Winchester

Dean fell to his knees upon the sand. No, this can’t be happening, he thought as he looked into the still face of his friend and companion. No, not Cas.

He looked up to the sky and wondered where Chuck was. Why was the bastard allowing this? After all Dean did for him. How could he simply not care?

Dean sank further to the ground, not caring that the sand was wet beneath the seat of his jeans. No no no no no, he thought as the first tear slipped down his face. Not Cas.

He let a hand reach towards the tan fabric of his coat and gripped at the angel’s arm as more tears clouded his vision. “No,” he rasped out as he leaned forward instinctively. “Cas, please…”

His other hand found it’s way to the angel’s cheek and Dean felt how cold it was beneath is palm. “I need you, dammit! Please Cas… Please don’t leave me,” he said as he began to shake. “I need you.”

“Dean…” came his Sam's voice from behind him. He hadn't heard him approach. He ignored the younger Winchester and simply continued to stare into the lifeless face of his dead companion. “Dean!” his brother said again, more forcefully, yet Dean continued to disregard him.

Only when Dean felt a hand grasp his shoulder did he look up. “He can’t be gone, Sammy. He just can’t,” the hunter cried, unable to make eye contact with the man crouching beside him. He couldn't have stopped the tears if he had wanted to.

“Dean, I-”

“No, I don’t think you understand,” Dean managed to choke out through trembling lips. “He’s gone! He was the best man I ever knew and now he’s…” He couldn’t make himself say it. Hell, he could barely think it. He turned his attention back to his angel, noticing the wing marks seared into the sand. Dean lightly traced a finger along the imprint of a feather and wished it were him. He wished he were the one lying on the ground instead of Cas.

Sam sighed. “Dean, I’m… I’m so sorry. I know what he meant to you…” he said softly.

Dean didn’t bother arguing. What was the point? “I never got to say it back…” he murmured, moving his hand to grip the angel’s coat below his lapel.

Both brothers were quiet for some time as Sam allowed Dean to mourn a while longer before he spoke. “The nephilim disappeared," Sam informed him.

“Huh,” was all Dean managed to say. His attention still glued to the face of the lifeless body in front of him.

“Yeah, um… I went inside and found Kelly… She’s… gone,” Sam explained even though he knew Dean wasn't really listening. “Jack killed her.” When his brother didn’t say anything, Sam continued. “There were these… footprints burnt into the floor and I followed them to the nursery. And there he was, in the corner of the room, fully grown and naked.”

This caught Dean’s attention. “Fully grown?” he asked, still not taking his eyes off the angel.

“Yeah… And then he looked up at me and smiled. It was fucking creepy, dude. His eyes glowed gold.”

“And then what?”

“And then he disappeared, like I told you.”

“Weird,” Dean observed. “So how do we even find him?”

“I don’t know,” Sam admitted.

Dean tore his eyes away from Cas and looked at this brother. “So we don’t know where Rosemary’s not-baby went, we don’t know how to reopen the portal to get Mom back, and we don’t know where angels go when they die… But we’re sure as shit gonna find out,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Excuse me?” Sam asked and Dean gave him a hard look.

“I said we’re gonna figure it out. We’re finding Satan’s hell-spawn, we’re reopening the portal to Bizzaro World, and we’re getting Cas back,” Dean said with such determination all Sam could do was nod.

They wrapped Cas’s body in a white sheet they found in the house and carefully carried him to the Impala.

“He belongs at the bunker not on some beach,” Dean said as they laid him in the backseat. “It always should have been his home.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to give him a hunter’s funeral?” Sam asked as they closed the doors and began walking back towards the beach.

“He’ll need a body to come back to,” Dean shrugged as if were just that simple. “Besides, you didn’t burn me. Cas is family. He deserves Winchester treatment.”

“Okay, but he’s an angel, he could always find another body,” Sam explained.

Dean stopped mid-stride and turned to look at his brother. “Not one that’s unoccupied. Sam, that’s his body. He don’t need another one.” Having made his point, Dean strutted off towards the pyre they had set up for Kelly.

The boys were silent as they salted and burned Kelly, watching the fire licked away at the white sheet covering her body, turning it black as the flames consumed her.

“She didn’t deserve this,” Sam said solemnly as he watched the pyre.

Dean laughed, his chuckle deprived of all humor. “People rarely get what they deserve, Sam.”

“No, I guess not,” Sam admitted. “I just know this isn’t what they wanted.”

“People don’t really know what they want,” Dean said quietly. “Not until it’s too late.”

“Don’t tell me you’re giving up on him,” Sam said, turning to his brother, his face scrunched up in concern.

“Never.”

~~~

The brothers were quiet as they drove the twenty-seven hours down I-90. Dean refused to turn on the radio so they drove in silence, only stopping for gas or food. Although, Dean didn't eat and he barely slept - taking one three hour nap once they hit Montana - and insisted on taking the lion's share of the trip. His bloodshot eyes kept looking back at Cas's body in the rear-view, as if the angel were going to wake up somehow. As if his gaze could somehow will him awake.

Behind the bunker, in a clearing, they held an angelic funeral. Dean didn't say a word as he dug Cas’s grave and lowered his lifeless body into it, alone. When he finished, he stayed by the small dirt mound and cross made out of sticks long after Sam decided it was time to go back inside. He'd begged Dean to go with him, saying that it was cold outside and that Dean needed his rest, but his stubborn brother refused. He just kept staring at Cas's name etched into the wood.

As he sat there, at dawn, in the damp dew-covered grass, he thought of everything he and his angel experienced together over the past nine years. He remembered meeting Cas in the barn and how magnificently terrifying his wings were, though they were just shadows on a wall. He remembered all the times Cas had died and all the times he had come back to him... and how surprised he was each and every time. He remembered Purgatory and how relieved he was to find Cas crouched beside the stream when he’dfinally found him. He remembered how hard he fought to get Cas out, and how he’d chosen to stay. How he thought he deserved it. He remembered Cas’s face when he asked him to leave the bunker and how it felt when he finally saw him again at that Gas-n-Sip months later. He remembered the Mark of Cain and Cas being possessed by Lucifer and just how happy the angel had been when he showed up alive back at the bunker. Most of all, he remembered the past year. All of it, in agonizing detail. Cas stabbing Billie because he… they meant too much to him. Castiel, an angel of the lord, told him… them he loved them as he thought he was dying.

‘I love you… I love all of you…’ he’d said. Dean was pretty sure the first one was meant for him. He was more than sure. He knew it. The way Cas had made eye contact with him…

Dean’s throat constricted and he felt the tears well in his eyes for the hundredth time. “Cas… I’m so sorry. I… I never got to say it back…” he cried.

He'd thought the mix tape he’d given Cas might let him know how he felt, but the idiot had tried to give it back. ‘It’s a gift. You keep those,’ he’d told him, thinking there’d be time. But he was all out of time. Castiel was dead. But he'd be damned if he let him stay that way.

“Cas… I don’t know where you are or if you can even hear me but… I’m coming for you. I swear it.”

~~~

Castiel

He opens his eyes but all he can see is whiteness. He can no longer feel his body nor does he know what is up or down. All there is is nothing. It’s eerily empty.

But then he remembers dying. He remembers the pain shooting through his body as the blade pierced his chest. But most of all, he remembers Dean’s face. It was the last thing he saw before waking up to nothingness.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been here. It could have been centuries or only a few seconds, there’s no way of knowing. All he can do is float. And think. He thinks of Dean.

Dean Winchester. The Righteous Man. The man who ended the apocalypse and survived Purgatory at his side. The man who has been more of a family to him than his own ever was. The man he loved despite the fact that he could never love him back. His Dean.

And then, suddenly, he can feel him. He can feel his longing. “No.. Cas, please… I need you, dammit! Please Cas… Please don’t leave me… I NEED you,” Dean voice says inside his head.

“Dean!” Cas tries to shout but nothing comes out. His words have no air to carry them. There is only empty. If he could still cry he would, but he can’t. So he simply floats. For hours or maybe seconds. There is no time.

“Cas… I’m so sorry. I… I never got to say it back…” Dean’s voice says after some time. Say what back? Cas wonders. He can’t mean… “Cas… I don’t know where you are or if you can even hear me but… I’m coming for you. I swear it.”

And because it’s all he has left, Cas allows himself to hope. He allows himself to believe that his human will come for him and that maybe just maybe he might just love him back.

To be continued...

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11535201/chapters/25897560

#destiel #supernatural #fanfiction #fanfic #season 13 #season 13 coda #season 13 wishlist #spn #castiel #dean winchester #slash fiction

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