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lokideservesahug · 3 days

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Against All Odds

Pairing: Sergio 'Checo' Pérez x wife!reader

Warnings: Mentions of crashes, children, swearing, slightly suggestive towards the end.

Notes: I'm not the most confident with this but I really hope I did this request some justice...

Request: Could you do fic for Checo Perez with wife reader? It was when he was at Racing Point when he won his first race at the 2020 Sakhir GP. She was worried when there was a crash and he was involved. But she was quickly assured that he was fine. He wanted to win that race for his wife and their children. So, he decides to fight his way through. Just something for his first win. You decide how it goes. Thanks!! :)))

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Summary: What happens after a driver crashes? They retire right? Well a certain Mexican driver may have a different agenda to the average pilot...

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You had never understood people when they said that their heart stop but when you saw on the big screen the racing point car hit the wall, you sure felt it. It was an accident, sure you know that but when the Renault behind him knocks his back end, you can't help but feel a brief moment of restatement towards the Frenchman that hit your husband. Your thoughts are still working in overdrive when you hear a few mumbles about lack of response. Shit. Checo hasn't responded yet. You squeeze your sons shoulder ad he grabs your leg, clearly worried about his father.

You just stare at the screen, waiting. Hoping. Praying. You can't even feel yourself breathe until... "I'm ok" the grunt of your husband made the entire mood of the garage shifts to be slightly less sombre. You can't even focus on your surroundings but when you see your husband pull back onto the track you grow slightly confused. "He's continuing?" You turn to the nearest crew member you can find. He nods his head and says something about Checo insisting on continuing to race and you can't help but smile and be proud if the sheer drive (no pun intended) of your lover.

He makes some truly amazing overtakes after the crash. And when Checo begins to come closer and closer to George you can feel yourself become short of breath for the second time today. The 63rd lap comes and goes but on the 64th lap, he completes the most glorious overtake (at least to you) and begins to lead the race. You can't stop yourself from smiling as everyone else in the garage jumps and cheers at his current P1 standing. You all continue watching on the edges of your setas as the laps race by. 70. 75. 80. 85. And by the time it reaches the 86th lap, the atmosphere in the motor point garage is buzzing. Nothing is for certain yet and anything can happen in a sport as unpredictable as Formula 1 you all know that but with Checo strongly keeping his lead for the past 22 laps and with Estaban being quite a bit behind, you're very confident in Checo's ability to keep his lead for the last lap.

You feel like electric with how much excitement you are feeling from those around you and also from your own excitement. You can't help but wonder how your children are reacting to the current predicament. Yes they are Young but that doenst mean they aren't their father's #1 supporters. They've only just become old enough to actualy form their own opinions about F1 and you can't even begin to explain your husbands excitement when they decided to support their father (even when you gave them a choice to support any driver they wanted). You turn to look at them (your son having gone to sit down next to his sister a few laps ago) only to see your son and daughter staying staying the screen in awe, with big smiles on their faces. You take a photo to show to your husband later.

And you don't even register Sergio Cross the finish line before you are being hugged by someone and then pulled to hug another person. The excitement is overwhelming and a huge grin splits open your mouth when you relapse what has just happened. Checo has won. For the first time ever, he's come out victorious. He ended lap 1 in last place, got crashed into earlier and still managed to win. Holy shit, this is unrealistic. The somehow rowdy garage manages to silence itself when your hisbands voice filters over the team radio but as you hear your husband speak his mither tongue and request that your son is watching. You can help but tear up at the sudden reality of the situation. He's really has done it.

You run out to the pit wall with the mechanics to congratulate the race winner and when he catches sight of you, he runs towards you and pulls you into his arms. The sheer happiness radiating from every direction causes him to well up and you just look at him and can't help yourself from crying. He just continues to hold you as the mechanics surround you and continue to hug and cheer for him. Your children run out, aided by a few crew members and Checo just scoops them into his arms and holds you all closely in a large family hug. You can near a few sniffles as he places his head on your shoulder but you don't have time time comment on it before he is being taken away to go to the podium.

You're at the front of the barriers with your son on your shoulders and your daughter in her little SP11 cap and pink ear defenders (which make her way too adorable) in your arms. The applause is almost overwhelming but when Checo come sout and stands on the top step, you let a few tears fall at the same time as your husband as he looks up to the sky. The Mexican national anthem fills your ears and you can help but grip your children slightly tighter to stabilise yourself and assure both them and you that this moment is real.

☆-☆-☆-☆-☆

Unsurprisingly, there are many post race celebrations especially for his maiden win. But when your husband returns to your hotel room and changes into his pajamas. You can't help but feel like this is one of your favourite moments of the day. Your husband sat on the bed with your two children sat next to them as he reads them a book before bed. Your daughter falls asleep with her head resting on her fathers bicep and you take a photo of the cute moment and csopp her up, putting her in the room adjacent to yours. Your son grabs his fathers hand and demands that the current champion pays him to bed which causes the both of you to smile. You gently shut the door when you turn to your husband. "Why did you do it?" "Hm?" He turns and looks at you curiously, surprised that you didn't follow him straight to the large ning sized bed. "Do what mi amor?" You settle next to him in bed and he wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you until your he'd is lying on his chest. "Retire after the crash." There's a brief moment of silence but clearly bot one of thought as he confidently replies "Because I ahd to for it for you all. I knew I could do it and I wanted to show to you, mis tres amores that you mean the world to me." You can't even begin to think of a response so yo just look u at him and softly bed your lips over his. He muemers in appreciation of your gesture but before he can deepen the kiss, you pull away. "As much as I would love to celebrate tonight, you deserve to rest Mr Champion" He grins at the title but pouts at the former words. "Not even a quick one?" You turn away from him. "No. Your rest is more important." You hear the rustling of sheets behind you and feel his arm wrap around your waist. "Are you sure I can't convince you sweetheart? Oh and who are you to deprive the champion of his reward?

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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed.

As always, likes, reblogs and especially feedback is always welcome!

Taglist: @nikfigueiredo @mysoulispainted @leclercings @d3kstar @hiireadstuff @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @lozzamez3 @stinkyjax @marymustdie @littlesatanicassholebitch @mehrmonga @insanedeathwish @ems-alexandra @a-disturbing-self-reflection @cherry-piee @minkyungseokie

#f1 #f1 x reader #formula 1 #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #sergio checo pérez #checo perez x reader #checo perez #sergio perez x reader #sergio pérez x reader #sergio perez #sergio pérez #ldah's writing

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drdemonprince · 2 days

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Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.

Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.

I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.

I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.

transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.

if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.

ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.

maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.

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isan0rt · 1 day

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@lightandfellowship re: your tags on this post (just to kind of bring this out to a different post).

I was thinking about making a separate post to expand on those tags anyway because they were a little off topic to the op, but I was like, you know, it's that Xehanort was worse to the Dandelions than Luxu was, yes. But Luxu was supposed to be that callous to the Dandelions in the first place. He was supposed to think of them as tools and to just let whatever fucked up thing was supposed to happen to them just happen. And with anyone else he can, but he can't put his personal feelings aside enough to 'do what needs to be done' for this set of people alone.

But Xehanort can.

And I think that's really interesting when looking at Xehanort as the 'replacement Luxu.' Xehanort who, as observed by another post I don't have immediately to hand, speaks with MoM twice. Xehanort who is chosen by MoM and manipulated into doing his bidding the same way Luxu was, given the same coat and made the heir to Luxu's keyblade, Xehanort who actually is allowed to take action to bring the Keyblade War about and revive the Lost Masters while Luxu is only allowed to watch.

Actually I started this post with a different thesis ('Xehanort is able to put his personal feelings aside and be ruthless even where Luxu fails to follow his role') but writing that paragraph I've changed my mind actually. Because Luxu has basically no agency in this situation, whereas Xehanort does.

Like, both of them are assigned roles by their mentors but Xehanort isn't really given a road map about how to fulfill his role. He's being manipulated, sure, but he's also making choices himself all along. They're choices that are fucked up but he understands they're fucked up and is choosing them anyway because he strongly feels it's necessary for the greater good.

Luxu has been told these things are necessary for the greater good. He's been told what to do. He's been told to just watch and that he can never take action. He doesn't even have the illusion of agency that Xehanort, who is actively choosing to lean into his feeling that destiny is inevitable, does. What is that like, to live hundreds of years never having any sense of agency? For Luxu, helping the Dandelions is fucking up. It's doing what he knows he's not supposed to, what he's been told is against the Plan, but he has no agency and this is his little way of rebelling, even if this is, to us, the 'right' thing to do. There's a question of what actually is 'right' and 'wrong' here and whether Xehanort is a 'better Luxu' than Luxu for choosing to simply follow The Plan.

Also I'm rambling here but putting things together as I go, sorry to also expand on other tags on posts I reblogged from you lol, but like. Luxu also very clearly has Lucifer stuff going on, the same way Xehanort does, down to the name. Xehanort takes on the Satan imagery over time - but it was Luxu's first. And Luxu is the one who actually tried to rebel against his Creator by deviating from his role (only to watch) and intervening with the Union leaders.

The thing about angels is they are not, in Catholic traditions (I can't speak to other denominations) is that they are not supposed to have free will. Free will is for humans; angels only follow The Plan, with no agency or say in the matter. They're messengers and avatars created only to execute the will of God. The Foretellers seem to play this role, if you will, in relation to Master of Masters. He hands them roles to execute the plan he's already designed. If we're, in this analogy, considering Master of Masters to be in the role of 'god', both Ava and Luxu are ultimately fallen angels - they both question the will of their creator, both rebel - but Luxu rebelling was built into the plan. He is Lucifer, and Lucifer rebels, and so he was still allowed to come back to the fold at the end of kh3, having fulfilled his duty even considering his rebellion. He still had no agency in the end, even having done what he thought was exercising it by saving the Union leaders.

Anyway I'm just rambling on at this point and don't really have a conclusion to this but the whole interplay between Luxu and Xehanort, agency and servitude, angels and devils, light and dark, feels really compelling to me.

#not to be getting theological on main here either but also to do that #I have more than a decade of intense religious education and even though i no longer do organized religion like #it's a topic that kh seems to have a lot of themes kh engages with #Luxu #Xehanort

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freudyou · 21 hours

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"Make it look like a freak lighting accident"

It’s been years since I’ve revisited Due South, but the @ds30below event sparked my interest again, and I decided to watch a few episodes with my bud @flownwrong to celebrate. We watched three episodes that stuck in my mind the most over the years after being absent from the show for so long: Bird in the Hand, Eclipse, and The Ladies’ Man, and I found all three to be a very rewarding rewatch, even though my memory of the rest of the series is a bit hazy.

Bird in the Hand:

When we started our mini marathon, I didn’t realize that this was the only ep of the three where Fraser’s dad plays a role, and I forgot how solid Pinsent was at pulling comic relief duty. The scene where he popped up demanding that Fraser murder Gerard immediately after Gerard was droning on about how Robert’s dogged nobility was his ultimate downfall had me rolling, as did the bit where he—probably correctly— asserted that Ray would shoot Gerard for him if Fraser really asked him to (aww). One thing in particular about his character that struck me while watching this episode were the moments where he actually interacted with the environment around him in a way that impacted people other than Fraser by implanting the idea to retreat in McFadden’s mind and having Gerard attempt to grab his hand while dangling in the air. In my memory, it was a lot more ambiguous whether Robert was actually a spirit or a figment of Fraser’s imagination, so that ended up being kind of a fun twist for me.

Since the other two episodes we watched were very Ray K centric, I’m glad we did one that had a focus on Fraser’s emotional state. The scene where he confronted Robert about stubbornly refusing help in life and said “I never loved anyone as much as I love you” while Robert was still trying to find ways to derail the conversation is a fan favorite for a reason; it’s a rare, intensely vulnerable moment for Fraser and I really enjoyed the way that Paul Gross pulled back from it a little. In another show with another character, it’s easy to imagine a scene like this being a more blatant, emotional showstopper, with the neglected son saying this in a fit of tearful anger that’s meant to make his father rear back in surprise. Instead, Paul Gross delivers the line in an understated way that’s almost more like puzzled frustration, as if Fraser is trying to piece something together about himself instead, which I thought was a really nice touch to the scene that made it feel very Fraser. I also love the cunning way that Fraser brought it back around just a few minutes later by weaponizing male emotional repression in order to freak out everyone else in the room and gain the upper hand (as well as have an opportunity to annoy Ghost Dad by calling him short) while also delivering some genuine truths: Gerard really did break his heart.

Last but certainly not least, I adore how Ray kept trying to take care of Fraser throughout the episode in his own grumpy, special way. Sure, trying to orchestrate some Fraser-on-Gerard police brutality didn’t end up being the most well received suggestion, but it’s sweet that he acted extra vengeful to make up for Fraser’s dutiful restraint. I also forgot that the “Mentally Deficient” sticker gag and the tape recorder conversation were both in this episode. The Bickering Married Couple vibes between them were always such a classic part of the show, so it was nice to see that on display.

Bird in the Hand really held up strongly against my fond memories of it, and I was a little surprised at how easy it was to slide back into this world and be immersed in it after being away for so long. Sometimes I guess you actually can go back home again.

#due south #ds30below #i will post my observations about Eclipse and The Ladies’ Man separately hopefully either tonight or tomorrow #but i had a blast watching all three #thanks alina!

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ohsayit · 1 day

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Let's try to paint a picture of our man based on what he approves

Note/Warning: this is a ramble about his approval list.

This is nothing new, I just feel like writing it up.

I copied the list of approvals from BG3 wiki for Act 1 and Act 2. Generalised the trigger for approval and here we go lolll Of course, this is how I see those triggers, you don't necessarily agree with me. If you think differently, that's fine. This is not rocket science, nobody needs to go boom.

The number on the top is the total for entries. It doesn't account for how many approval points it gives. Very occasionally, I may have some triggers sitting in 2 category, but none sits in 3.

If I filter out all the 1 approvals, things look interesting.

This is the first one that he gives >1 approval. Our boy wants to help himself first for sure. lolll

This is the first +5. Our boy probably appreciate people with the same level of survival will plus the ability to fight for that survival.

And if you side with him to help/let him survive? Brownie points.

Going further down the list, things that gives >1 approvals, are all similar or adjacent to all these things mentioned above. The most important thing for our boy is his own survival. He really appreciates some kindred spirit. He likes to have "a kin".

This one is quite cute. Either he appreciates the player rooting for their ally, either he appreciates the increased survival chance by keeping a good fighter in the team. I can see he has his hopes up when watching this camp scene and nodding to himself in his head.

Of course we have these ones where the play shows trust and a strong will to keep him. He is happy when his alliance and protection is strongly with the player, very understandable.

Again, very understandably, he likes it when the player respects and shows care for him. After these, more >1 approvals are related to getting his scars deciphered by Raphael and promise help to kill Caz.

Now, people, take a good look at this whole list of approval on BG3 wiki. Does the list of approval paint a man that:

puts his own survival and interest on the top priority

everyone comes as an after thought

well aware of the value of keeping the leader (player) close

happy to gain favour for alliance and protection

very good with his looks and tactics

being bitter about the world

more than happy with personal gain in terms of power and any other things

has a wretched idea of "fun"

No? Look at them again. lol

I love him little shit.

#bg3 #astarion #ascended astarion #bg3 astarion #my own

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princess-leaorgana · 2 days

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What Tieflings Do Chpt. 3

Summary: After the takedown of The Absolute, Zelphie finds her city in need of more help and her home destroyed. She won't stop helping, but who can help her?

Rolan x Tav (Zelphie; ~30y.o AFAB, Sorcerer, Tiefling, not really described physically on purpose <3)

M/F

Author's Note: I fucking love tielfings. Along with this being a budding romance/smut/fluff/word vomit fanfiction, it's also my case study in DnD 5e tieflings, how they act, what sets them apart from humans and devils and elves. That being said, I have a few artistic liberties in here as well where I couldn't find a straight answer, if you'll amuse me.

Warnings - Spoilers for Baldur's Gate 3, alcohol consumption. This bad Larry is another fluff. Don't worry! Also, if you catch the easter egg in this one I'll give you one lil forehead smooch.

Chapter One Chapter Two

One tenday spent in the luxurious wizard’s tower in Baldur’s Gate. The shop was still a little chaotic, but it was open for business and Rolan was hiring out for help. He had Cal and Lia and Zelphie, of course, but Cal and Lia and Zelphie were not learned spellcasters. Zelphie had the best understanding of the Weave, but she couldn’t understand conjuring the Weave manually. Rolan would attempt to spend time with her, teaching her how to read scrolls and tomes, but she was absolutely useless. And during their private lessons, Zelphie was usually very distracted with her strongly budding feelings for her teacher. That absolutely destroyed her concentration. Nothing had yet happened down that road, and it had almost been too long for Zelphie to feel comfortable bringing it up. She left the siblings that day to head out into the city. She had a few things to sell and was in the market for a redecoration for her room. Larroakan’s taste was high class but cold and dark. The room was beautiful, but it needed more love. She hadn’t done anything about it until then as she still had a gnawing feeling in the back of her mind that she wasn’t to stay with the siblings. She would get an occupation of her own and allow the family to be one again. It didn’t seem like that was going to happen. Lia would scold her if she ever brought it up.

Old potions and elixirs and small trinkets she had picked up on the road were sold quickly for decent coin. Anything she had that was impressive she donated to Sorcerer’s Sundries to either use or sell. Rolan fought with her on that, but she insisted it being a complimentary rent for now. Rolan still fought with her.

The streets were still a mess, but a livable one. People were back to life a little. It wasn’t normal, but it wasn’t apocalyptic. After a decent amount of shopping and many compliments from people who recognized her on the street, she headed for some lunch. She hadn’t seen any of the other tieflings since the battle, and she was very ready to see some happy and familiar faces. Lakrissa, an absolute menace of a thief, had gotten a job at The Elfsong Tavern, the nicest spot in the whole city for a pint and relaxation. Zelphie was very excited to see if her friend was there today, and if she had time for a drink. Walking past two hired hands at the entrance, she was met with the most people she had seen at the tavern. Good, she didn’t want any more compliments, she just wanted to be a normal patron. As she made her way to the bar, to order from the barkeeper, Alan, Zelphie stopped as she heard her name shouted.

‘Zelphie! The beautiful hellspawn who saved Baldur’s Gate!’ Lakrissa, the little shit. Zelphie’s nose scrunched as attention in the tavern fell on her. She turned her head to see Lakrissa sitting on a patron’s lap of all places and she was looking right at her, her arm raised in the air. Zelphie got a cheer and shook her head, staring at Lakrissa. ‘The person who buys our hero her first round wins also buying a round for me!’ She announced to roaring laughter. Lakrissa hopped off her perch and walked over to Zelphie. ‘There you are, hero,’ she said and Zelphie sighed.

‘Here I am, thank you for the announcement, pity, you used to be my favorite,’ she said and took an empty seat at the bar. Lakrissa laughed at her. Alan walked over with a glass full of ice and an amber liquid. ‘Hello Alan,’ she greeted the bartender and she gave her a charming smile.

‘Where’ve you been then? I need you to find me that Minsc fellow. Rented a room here after you all left and started fighting for coin in there. He owes me,’ he said and Zelphie laughed.

‘I wish I could say I bear responsibility for Minsc, but I’ll do my best to settle his debt,’ she said and smirked.

‘So, how IS your favorite, hm? Heard you got a room at the wizard’s tower,’ Lakrissa said, sitting next to Zelphie. Zelphie turned back to Lakrissa.

‘I got very lucky, Lia caught me while I was wandering the streets like a tom cat. I could barely stand. My place was absolutely decimated, I’m surprised the tavern is still around,’ she said and took a sip of her drink. Rum. She hissed and looked up at Alan. ‘It’s barely after breakfast,’ she said and Alan just grinned.

‘You are very welcome,’ he said and walked off to help another patron.

‘Come on, tell me, tell me,’ Lakrissa said and shook Zelphie’s leg. She took another sip and laughed.

‘What is there to tell? It’s not like before I wasn’t constantly on the move. I have a big beautiful comfortable bed to sleep in with a roof over my head. I get fed three times a day AND I’m bathing every day. I am living the high life,’ she said and Lakrissa shook her head.

‘Yes, that big beautiful bed, whose is it?’ She asked, leaning in. Zelphie leaned in with her, smirking.

‘Mine,’ she answered and Larkissa scoffed.

‘Either you’re a tease or Cal is a liar,’ she said, straightening up. Zelphie knew what Lakrissa was getting at, if involved Cal. Although nothing had really happened between her and Rolan and she would have liked for something to have happened, Cal was not being subtle at home about trying to get the two closer. She would have loved to be closer to Rolan, of course she would have, but she wouldn’t allow her new home to be ruined by those feelings. She would rather have good friends than anything.

‘Cal is a liar, but who said I’m not a tease?’ Zelphie said and Lakrissa laughed.

‘Oh, there she is. Gods I’m glad you are alright,’ she said and Zelphie smiled at her.

‘The feeling mutual,’ she said softly. The rum was getting to her quicker than she would have liked. ‘How is Alfira?’ She asked and Lakrissa smiled.

‘She’s perfectly fine, a little set back with her big plans, what with the total destruction of the city, your fault,’ she said and Zelphie nodded and laughed.

The two caught up and Zelphie was given a second drink and was quickly feeling silly. Lakrissa was forced to end her little break and Zelphie left the tavern, hungry and drunk. She walked very slowly back to the tower. On her way back, a little gray kitten began to follow her home. Zelphie swayed when she knelt down to pick up the little sweet thing.

‘Oh hello you little fella,’ she said and lifted the kitten in her arms. ‘You must be starving, come let’s fill that belly of yours,’ she said, deciding in her drunken state that she would adopt this little kitten. It clung to her with its little claws and Zelphie cooed down at it. ‘Oh aren’t you sweet?’ She said and rubbed the kitten’s chin. She continued to walk to Sorcerer’s Sundries and she moved out of the way of a very upset looking half-orc. She stumbled into the shop happily, her eyes and all attention still on the kitten.

‘There you are, I almost sent a search party out for you,’ Rolan called from the counter and walked over to her happily.

‘Look what I found Rolan!’ She cried happily and held the kitten up. Rolan’s happy face turned to concern as he looked at the little kitten in Zelphie’s hand. ‘He followed me home, isn’t he sweet?’ She asked and Rolan sighed at her, giving the sweet little kitten a pet.

‘Have you been drinking?’ He asked her, not ready to entertain the topic of the kitten until he squared away why her eyes were so sleepy looking and why she was swaying a little.

‘Yes, Lakrissa made me, but I guess she didn’t really because I did it anyway,’ she said with a snicker. ‘Only two rum drinks, but you know me, cheap date,’ she said and giggled and Rolan smirked a little.

‘I don’t know that about you, in fact,’ he said and she giggled.

‘Yes, because you’ve never taken me on a date,’ she said and poked him in the chest. She was plastered.

‘Alright, alright, up to bed with you, come now,’ he said, escorting her upstairs.

‘I said I was a cheap date, not an easy one,’ she said and barked out a laugh. She leaned on Rolan and held the little kitten close to her. Rolan burned red, but would ignore her. He wrapped an arm around her to keep her upright. She was loving that sensation. She was aware that she was drunk, and as obnoxious as she was, she wouldn’t make him angry. ‘Is it okay that I have a kitten? A little familiar? I can’t have a real one you see, I didn’t go to school,’ she rambled.

‘You’re fine, I’m sure with everything you’ve accomplished a cute kitten wouldn’t be much of a leap in responsibilities.’ He said and Zelphie giggled.

‘You do think he’s cute? Oh good. I always knew you were a cat person. All good people love cats. The real good ones, because dogs are all lovely and good but dogs love you unconditionally. Cats, cats are as smart as people and are choosy, so I say anyone who can get along with a cat is a good person,’ she rambled on and hiccuped. She felt his thumb rub her arm and the warmth and comfort of his touch led her tail to curl around his.

‘Yes, I do think he’s cute,’ Rolan said simply. Zelphie's attention went back to the kitten, who was very happy to be held. Zelphie scratched the little one under his chin. He was a perfectly gray cat with a small tuft of white on his chest. He was going to need a bath.

‘We are going to get you all cleaned up my little one, and we’ll feed your hungry little belly,’ she cooed and stroked the top of the kitten’s head. ‘How has the shop been today, and who was that lady who was leaving the shop so angry when I came in?’ She asked Rolan.

‘Oh, I’m very glad you’ve been off today, the amount of disappointing interviews I’ve had today…’ he said, tutting. He was much more comfortable talking about this sort of thing, others bothering him. ‘The last one, she claimed to be a cleric of Helm. More like a Paladin of Cyric the way she bumbled about. She couldn’t even bring a desert plant back to life. I’m not looking for a prodigy, but if your god doesn’t give you gifts, there is nothing I can do for you,’ he said and chuckled. Zelphie shook her head, Rolan was lying. He would only want the best in his shop. Perfection at the bare minimum. ‘We did find a budding wizard. She’s a bit under motivated, but I’m sure with my teachings she will flourish in no time,’ he told her and Zelphie put on a little pout.

‘Ah, so our lessons are all over? You’ve given up on me?’ She asked him and he looked down at her and laughed at her silly face.

‘Not even a little. I’m going to get you to master prestidigitation one of these days, I promise,’ he told her and she smiled. She hummed and looked back down at the kitten.

‘I’m jealous of your new apprentice, you’re a wonderful teacher,’ she said and Rolan sighed down at her.

‘Oh, do not be jealous. If she doesn’t perform, she’s out. You on the other hand, I’m too stubborn to let you quit,’ he told her and she smiled to herself. Was she jealous of this person she’d never met? A little. Would she keep up whining at Rolan? No. Did she want to? Yes. The pair got to Zelphie’s bedroom and Zelphie walked in, placing the little kitten on her bed.

‘Now, that’s nicer than the streets, isn’t it?’ She asked the little kitten.

‘Did you want help with him? He certainly needs a bath, I’m not even a fan of him being on the bed,’ Rolan said and scooped the kitten back up. Rolan did like cats, which was great for him; the streets of Baldur’s Gate were littered with them. The kitten took to him quickly, purring and rubbed his face hard against Rolan’s hand. Zelphie giggled and removed her bag and outer jacket.

‘I would love some help. And it looks like he loves you Rolan,’ she said and walked over to the pair. ‘Did you have cats growing up?’ She asked and Rolan nodded.

‘Yes, a lot of cats. Mother spoiled me a lot. She called me sensitive. I used to hate it when she referred to me like that. Like I was weak, but I know now what she meant by it,’ he said, still enjoying petting the kitten. ‘She meant that I was sensitive to others. Those smaller or weaker than myself. When someone needed my help,’ he continued and Zelphie’s smile grew.

‘Like me,’ she said softly and Rolan nodded.

‘Yes, you have the exact same instinct as me. You understand people who need help,’ he said and Zelphie shook her head.

‘No, no, I mean, I’m one of those people who needed your help and you gave it so freely,’ she said and walked closer, reaching out to pet the kitten. Rolan looked down at her and raised an eyebrow.

‘It was a privilege to help you, Zelphie. I finally had a way to pay you back for everything you have done for me. And my family,’ he told her honestly. She looked up at him and chewed on her bottom lip a little.

‘And when will this help run out?’ She asked him softly and he raised his eyebrows.

‘I don’t know…’ he whispered after a moment. ‘But when it does, I ask you to help me out once more by continuing to stay here. Because you being here, it’s more…a selfish want than a payback,’ he admitted and Zelphie’s eyes grew. There was another little silent moment and then Rolan looked back down at the kitten. ‘So,’ he cleared his throat and Zelphie’s eyes fluttered a little. She had been lost, sweet words from Rolan and two glasses of straight rum were an easy recipe for a mindless Zelphie. ‘Shall we start with his bath in the sink? You can’t get their ears wet, I think we’ll have better control of that in the sink than the bath,’ he told her and she sobered a little and nodded.

‘Oh, yes, yes, that’s a good idea,’ she said and the two walked to the bathroom together. She turned in the tap and walked to her bath for soap to use on the poor little kitten. She grabbed two towels as well, one for the inevitable mess and the other for the kitten. Rolan tested the water and held the kitten under the water, holding his scruff. The kitten immediately wiggled and cried. ‘Oh, no no, it’s okay, it’s okay little one, you’ll feel so much better,’ Zelphie cooed and helped get the kitten wet quickly and lathered up some soap. Rolan used his free hand to stop the kitten from swatting Zelphie. He was getting a few cuts, but was about as stubborn as the kitten was. The bath was very quick. The vermin and dirt and whatever else was in the little guy was removed and Zelphie scooped him into a towel, wrapping him tight. He kept crying. ‘Now now now, this is better, hm? Nice and warm, oh lucky you,’ she said and walked out of the bathroom, cradling the cat. ‘You can watch me take a bath later, you’ll see it’s not so bad,’ she continued to talk and Rolan walked out with her. ‘Thank you so much for helping. That would have been a fiasco if I had tried it alone,’ she said and Rolan grinned.

‘You did most of the hard work,’ he said and she shook her head.

‘Let me see your hand, cat scratches are awful things,’ she said and he gave her his hand with a little hesitation. She reached out and lifted his hand up, closing her eyes. ‘Te Curo,’ she whispered easily and with a cool blue flash of light, the scratches were gone from his hand as was the growing itching sensation he was getting from the cuts.

‘Well, thank you,’ he said softly and Zelphie smiled up at him.

The pair helped the kitten get as dry as possible and Rolan led Zelphie to the sitting room so the kitten could be in front of a fireplace. Zelphie began a fire as Rolan sat on the floor and let the kitten out of his towel wrapping. The kitten took his freedom happily and shook his body of water and took to licking the rest off.

‘I’m glad it’s still light out, he’ll be dry in no time,’ Zelphie said and sat down next to Rolan.

‘He’s a lucky little thing, finding you of all people,’ he said and looked down at Zelphie who smiled. She felt her own tail curl up happily. She scooted closer to Rolan and with all the liquid courage she had left in her system, she leaned against him gently and looked over at the kitten, who was fervently grooming himself. Rolan froze a little, the feeling of her body against his. She had leaned on him earlier because she was drunk. She was still drunk, wasn’t she? ‘H-how are you feeling?’ He asked her softly and she smiled.

‘I’m perfect,’ she said, meaning it. Was there a little rum floating in her head? A little. Enough to be a little sleepy and a little bold. But not enough to ruin her senses. The screams of a kitten in a bath had sobered her up considerably. But besides that, she was sitting in front of a fire, very close to a person she trusted and adored. Watching a kitten groom himself. She had no complaints. There was another moment of silence before Rolan’s arm coiled around her waist, holding her a little closer. Zelphie’s heart did flips in her chest and her tail found his quickly. She felt Rolan’s lips in her temple before he spoke.

‘Yes you are,’ he whispered and Zelphie felt the warm rush again. This time, she wouldn’t let it hang. She turned her head to look at him properly. He was looking right down at her, his yellow glowing eyes, his strong and sharp features. Zelphie wouldn’t remember who moved first or who moved the most. She just knew that both of them had and the pair kissed. Simple as that. Had it been too soon? Had it taken too long for such a simple, lovely little thing? It didn’t matter, it was happening, and Zelphie felt every spark of electricity in her body zap her skin. She refused to break this kiss. She had been wanting to kiss Rolan for a very long time. She felt his hand on her cheek and then the absence of his lips. He placed his forehead on hers. ‘Was that alright?’ He whispered softly and she nodded, a little speechless. He was more than alright, he was everything. She reached up again, needing to be back in their first kiss. A first kiss for lovers, what a dream. He kissed her back and she gave way to a grateful sigh. She felt his fangs against her lips, she could taste him. Her heart was beating terribly quickly.

‘How long have you been hoping to do that?’ She asked him softly, their foreheads and noses still connected. She was no longer drunk from the rum, but drunk from something else entirely. He grinned and nuzzled down against her.

‘A while…a long while,’ he admitted. She giggled in response. ‘Please tell me you’ve felt the same.’

‘Yes, if only you hadn’t hated me so much,’ she said and he laughed.

‘I did hate you, though, I’ve always been a supporter of the fact that hate and love are not mutually exclusive,’ he told her and her heartbeat quickly. He didn’t mean what he just said, of course. He couldn’t have. Love her? Love her. Not like that, certainly. ‘Because I do, I do love you, I cherish you. And I’m a fool for trying to hide it. I only wanted to make you comfortable around me, I…but everyone is so quick to poke and prod at my feelings for you, I wasn’t very good at hiding them,’ he told her. She felt his thumb rub her cheek gently. She could have melted into a puddle.

‘It shows you have respect for me, but you’ve made me comfortable Rolan. I trust you. I-‘ she said quickly and chewed on her cheek. ‘I love you too.’ She finished and looked into his eyes. He was as close as another person could be. She giggled again and he leaned down to kiss her again. Love. Real, trusting and respecting love. She’d never had that before. Love was more than kisses in front of a fireplace, love was bonding, understanding, trusting, wanting, caring. She would count what she and Rolan shared as love. But like lovers, they had that one more inch of feeling. For did she not love Lia and Cal? Yes. Did she love Jaheira and Gale and Shadowheart and Karlach and Wyll? Yes. Rolan was a different love, with that extra special something that made her stomach flip. He was handsome, he had a velvety low voice. He was commanding and mighty stubborn. Zelphie was attracted to him and it was clear, in the very least, that Rolan was also attracted to her. It was very nice to feel him want her. His hand holding her cheek, the other holding her side, holding her close. Possession. She felt fiery. She was all his. She placed a hand on his thigh and she heard him sigh out. She didn’t want to start anything else, but she did want to touch him.

‘Too, too long. You were right. Wizards are stubborn,’ he said and she laughed. ‘I should have done that ages ago, though…I don’t know if it’s stubbornness or the fear that…I was wrong about how you might have felt about me,’ he continued and Zelphie just kept smiling.

‘I’m glad for your new bravery,’ she whispered softly and Rolan took a minute and spoke again.

‘This isn’t all because you’ve been drinking, is it?’ He asked, clearly nervous about asking that. His voice quivered a bit and he was quick with his words.

‘No, but that’s a very kind question. No, listening to him screaming was enough to sober me up,’ she said and glanced at the kitten, who was still quickly attempting to lick himself dry. She laughed at the sweet sight and looked back at Rolan. ‘Like I said, I’ve been feeling a special way about you for a long while now, Rolan. Since the party, actually, back at our camp…’ she said and Rolan’s eyes widened. She laughed again. ‘Well, you were happy and a little silly, it was a very nice side of you to see,’ she said and Rolan’s smile widened.

‘Well, I can’t blame you then,’ he said playfully, Zelphie laughed lightly. ‘But…silly? Mmmm not my favorite word,’ he said and Zelphie laughed.

‘Then don’t act silly when you’ve had too much wine,’ she told him and he chuckled. ‘But you know, I feel very lucky to see a more relaxed side of you,’ she explained and Rolan nodded.

‘If you see me relaxed it's only because of how you make me feel, my dear,’ he told her and she smirked. My dear. It wasn’t the first time he had called her that. It was very sweet, maybe a little too innocent and careful, but too careful was better than too strong.

‘Now that is the best compliment I think anyone has ever paid me,’ she said and he laughed.

‘I don’t believe you, but I’m going to pretend you’re telling the truth,’ he told her and glanced at the kitten. Still going at himself. Poor little thing. ‘What shall we name him then?’ He asked and Zelphie looked at the kitten.

‘Surely Rolan Junior,’ she said and Rolan barked a laugh.

‘No, gods no, please do not call it that,’ he said and Zelphie hummed a laugh. He looked down at her and shook his head. ‘No, I know that look, I forbid it, both you and the kitten will be street urchins again,’ he told her and she laughed. She leaned over and scooped up the kitten who grumbled a little and went back to his grooming.

‘He is as stubborn as you, it appears,’ she said and Rolan smirked.

‘Hush you,’ he said softly and kissed her temple. She leaned back on him. This was very nice.

‘Ronald,’ she said and he laughed.

‘Please don’t,’ he said, his lips still her hair.

‘Rolanda,’ she added.

‘Zelphie.’

Silence passed between the two of them, Zelphie thinking and enjoying the moment, Rolan’s face buried in her hair. What was he thinking about, she wondered. Was he as happy as she was? She hoped he was, for she was very very happy. She continued to think about a good name for the kitten, no more teasing Rolan. After a moment she gasped.

‘What?’ He asked her, as if she had woken him up.

‘Elminster,’ she said and he laughed loudly and looked down at the kitten.

‘That is the most offensive way to honor Mystra’s chosen,’ he said and she grinned and rubbed the top of the kitten’s head. The poor thing was only concerned with drying himself off. Rolan sat up straighter and held his hands near the kitten, his hands beginning to burn hot. They stayed still together and very quickly the cat dried up. Zelphie looked up at Rolan and smiled.

‘Thank you,’ she said and Rolan smiled.

‘Lajy,’ he said simply. Zelphie blinked at him. Lajy was Infernal, Infernal for love. ‘I used love just then to conjure that heat. We should name him Lajy.’ He used love to dry off the kitten, wizards had to use emotions and memories to call upon The Weave, and Rolan has just used love to burn his hands enough. She smiled up at him, feeling as warm and as comfortable as she could be. She leaned back on him and his grip got tighter on her. He held her while she held the little cat.

‘Lajy,’ she repeated and stroked the kitten’s newly cleaned fur. He felt Rolan leaning against her temple again, their horns clinking a bit. Rolan’s horns were incredibly graceful, almost economical in their shape. They were large, but they swept back and up, out of the way. Zelphie’s were less economical. They went up and out. She found it very difficult to lay on her side at night, and with Rolan so close, she wouldn’t move, as if she did, she might take his eye out. They found a perfect position and the nice peaceful moment was only interrupted by the sound of a hungry belly. Rolan would blame it on Lajy.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 rolan #rolan x tav #holy rolan empire #rolan bg3

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royalarchivist · 2 months

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I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲

[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]

#QSMP #Philza #Edited #Phil #Let me know if this needs an additional tag #I don't think this necessitates a discourse or neg tag or whatever because I'm being silly but I'm happy to add one if folks need it #I won't post this one on Twitter I don't think because I genuinely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings #but. I feel very strongly about this. It's not helpful #I say this as a fan and as a professional writer (who also worked in the Marketing and Communications field for far too long)#The prose is nice! It's very whimsical and they're having fun! But I don't think it's appropriate for an updates account #I recently turned off notifications for QsmpEN and I'm considering muting them because half the updates just aren't helpful to me #I want to be able to speed read through the update thread I don't want to spend an additional 30 seconds trying to decipher who's who #I don't like posting complaints so I tried to make it a funny complaint #because I do think feedback is good! And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way #but at the same time: these update writers ARE volunteers #(As a side note -- I personally think anyone running a large social media account should be paid)#(I did that for a few years and it was hell. I can't imagine doing that and NOT getting paid for it)#But anyways #They're all volunteers so I don't actually wanna go all pitchforks and torches on them (which I wouldn't do anyways even if they WERE paid)#I'm just venting my frustrations in what is (hopefully) a funny way #but you're welcome to disagree! That's ok too #Portfolio

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chaosgremlim · 10 months

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I’ll be completely honestly. I will judge you based on how you view Lottie Mathews. If you watch Yellowjackets and go calling her “psycho” “crazy” and judge her abhorent and manipulative for literally just having symptoms of her psychosis while UNMEDICATED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING WILDERNESS, I won’t trust you for shit.

#like #I get the girls thinking that #because they are in the wilderness with her going through the same stress in the freaking 90’s #and her delusions had serious impacts in their lifes and in their survival there #and the mysticism they formed around her and those delusions had a lasting impact #but you won’t see Lottie going around saying that her visions are the Word of God #heck #she spends almost the entirety of season two sitting by the window praying for the best #and what she does she does because in her mind those things are helping people #and it’s not her wicca tea sending people into murderous cannibalistic rampages #bestie needs actual therapy #and to go back to taking her meds #and KEEP HER AWAY FROM ELECTROCONVULSIVE THERAPY #That shit is barbaric #I feel very strongly about lottie matthews #particularly because I struggle with similar shit and really get her #yellowjackets #yjposting #lottie yellowjackets #lottie matthews #lottie did nothing wrong #i support womens wrongs

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canisalbus · 9 months

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i just wanted to let you know that Machete being queer means so much to me. I‘m following your art for many many years now and you and your characters have been a big inspiration baaack in my teens. I was struggling with the possibility of a queer identity alot back then and I remember looking for a trace of queerness in every character I adored. I‘ve always loved Machete and today, as I‘m seeing your art again regulary on my timeline, it brings me so much joy that you’re telling this bittersweet queer story through your characters. Thank you!

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a heartfelt message! You've made my day ;w;

#I'm sorry to hear you had such rough time back then I wish my art could've been more helpful to you #he's a very old character and as silly as it is I've been processing a lot of similar feelings through him since I was a teenager myself #but I got increasingly hesitant to open up about my ocs over the years so I kept most of their lore and context strictly private #it's taken a lot of climbing over mental roadblocks to get back to a point where it feels alright and acceptable to talk about them again #and be more transparent about their lives and inner workings and in this case queer identity #so hearing that they resonate so strongly with people means a lot to me #it makes me feel a lot less shy and embarrassed about sharing them #answered #anonymous

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good-beanswrites · 5 months

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#i have a lot of thoughts on why amane accepting shidous help wouldnt help either of them but thats rambling for another day lmao

hello it is another day 👀 can I hear your thoughts on why shidou and amane wouldn't be helped by him trying to help her?

Ah yes!! I'll start off by saying I love Shidou a lot and think he's very capable, loving, and is a really good father -- I mean no slight to him when I say he would only make things worse for Amane if they became close like he wants. The short version is that neither of them will get what they want out of this new relationship, to no fault of their own. But by getting together in the first place, they give each other the illusion that they can get these things, which only makes the loss worse.

Shidou is grieving a sudden, intense loss. He thinks that he wants to keep being a father. He thinks that he misses taking care of his little girl and that by caring for Amane he can get that feeling back/atone for what he’s done. But what he needs is time and space to mourn such a sudden tragedy. I don’t know what you call a familial rebound, but that’s exactly what Amane would be. He does genuinely want to help, he’s not like “using her” or anything. But he is subconsciously expecting her presence to fix something for both of them. He desperately wants to fill a gap in his life, and her role as replacement for what he lost would become more and more clear. Maybe he doesn't want to replace them, but sees saving her as a way to atone for the children he couldn't save. No matter how much love he pours on her -- no matter if she's able to overcome her feelings and return his love tenfold -- it won’t fix what's actually broken.

And it would be the same for her: rushing into a new family wouldn’t give her back the parents/childhood she lost. After thinking so highly of her father, she’d have really high expectations for Shidou. She may be able to recognize how her father hurt her, but it’ll be hard to break away from the intense respect she has for him. She’ll always be wanting more from Shidou, both in his character and also the unconditional love she’d been denied. And while his love may be unconditional, it will always be affected by his love for his past family. All of his techniques for caring for her were tested on his kids first (he makes her desserts he know his kids liked, takes her places he took his family, etc). It's not a bad thing on it's own (in almost any other case it would be a really good thing that he has firsthand experience), but given Amane's specific past, this will hurt her a lot. She will always be reminded that those kids came first. She’s so used to adults putting the cult before her, this will feel the same. She’ll always feel like living in something's shadow.

And I know people are adaptable, but I think her joining Shidou’s life would just be such a challenge for both of them. Shidou built a family with loved ones, and now he has to start a new life as a single father to a strange child whose mind works very different than the average population. He mentions he relied on his wife for household things -- now he must learn to cook and clean while also struggling with cult deprogramming techniques. All of his energy would be consumed with helping her change and adapt, instead of properly processing both of their emotions with grief and guilt. Unprocessed emotions like that can only come out harmfully, then. Even if Amane suddenly develops the most open mind in the world, it’ll be such a jarring switch going from her cult completely against medicine to a doctor’s household in which science always triumphs over spirituality. So much of Shidou’s core being is tied to the most awful and traumatizing events of Amane’s life -- that’ll be a huge obstacle for them to overcome, no matter how open to healing they both are.

The problem is, I recognize Amane's rejection isn't good for either of them. With Shidou's emotions, being so violently hated by a child only sends him deeper into grief. It makes the loss feel worse. And similarly, Amane's rejection denies her of someone who genuinely wants to care for her -- she's missing out on necessary physical, mental, emotional support. It's a lose-lose for the two of them, and I'm very compelled by it :(

Buuut, if I can indulge in my more personal thoughts for a sec, that's why I like to think about Mahiru taking her in! She specifically wanted new kids. She's literally prepared her life to take on a new child in her home. Even without the help of a partner, she excels at cooking, cleaning, keeping house, etc. Amane really does fill part of the gap Mahiru has always longed for. Though she won't get her childhood back, Amane will finally be an adults number one priority, no strings attached. Mahiru will absolutely smother her in love, her tendency to go overboard making up with Amane's deficiency of parental care. I think Mahiru's "let everyone stick to their own code" mindset will need some work, but at least it allows Amane's transition to be much easier. Mahiru is in support of Amane following what she believes, rather than live a lifestyle that actively denounces her. Shidou can still visit and help, giving him the perfect amount of interaction to heal him, and offer Amane something real and kind. I know it wouldn't be perfect under Mahiru, they're situation is fucked up enough to take a lot of painful work, but I really think she'd be the best to take care of her <3

#milgram #amane momose #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #thank you so much for the ask!!#i feel very strongly about it asdfsd so it makes me happy someone was interested #and feel free to tell me you guys' thoughts!#im never against seeing amane and shidou helping each other like that #i may not think it would work but im always happy to see them happy ;-; (and the writer happy!)#i actually think it would be good for both of them after a few years -- but by then amane would already be grown and it wouldnt work #asdfsad sorry for so much rambling but thank you! 😅#ask #analysis/thoughts #tw cults

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