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mrsalwayswrite · 3 years

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Murder Is Not On The Schedule (Ron Speirs x Reader)

So this is loosely based on a prompt I found on Pinterest about murder not being on today’s schedule and immediately thought SPEIRS! I also wasn’t feeling great this week so I wanted to write something lighthearted...ya know? So this is what my brain came up with.

Warnings: some swearing, sexual tension (cuz i can’t seem to write Speirs without it...sorry?), my poor attempts at humor

Words:2500

Tag List: @happyveday @sydney-m @saritanotserena

The sound of mortars and 88s followed me as I walked into the room being used for Captain Speirs' office in Haguenau. Those same sounds should be terrifying but no one flinched anymore thanks to Bastogne. The office was in the back of Easy HQ, looking towards the river. All the walls and windows were still intact, even if the place was dreary and drafty, it fulfilled its purpose.

Speirs, who had been staring out the window in parade rest, turned around to lean back against the window and looked over at me. "Lip in bed?"

"Yeah. Finally convinced him that I could handle it." I dropped down onto one of the two chairs. Both chairs were placed at the table which occupied the center of the room.

Lipton was an admirable man, second only to Winters himself. But Christ Almighty, he had to be the worst patient with his perpetual refusal to rest. I did not envy any of the medics who were diligently trying to take care of him. It pretty much took both myself and Luz to drag him to one of the cots in the back and me swearing in blood that if I needed help, I would find him.

And if I threatened him a little, no one needs to know, right?

"Well, I appreciate you stepping up and taking over for Lipton while he is sick."

I shrugged, already looking at all the paperwork spread out on the table. "He kept us together while in Bastogne. It's the least I can do. Besides, I used to be a secretary before joining up. It's not a problem."

"Lucky us." He murmured, distractedly. One of his hands tapped a repetitive pattern on his thigh as he seemed to stare at nothing.

I knew there was to be a patrol tonight. A prisoner snatch. From what little I had overheard and observed, it weighed heavily on both Lipton and Speirs. My guess was all the names had not been chosen yet on who had to go. Glancing at Speirs, eyebrows furrowed just slightly, repetitive tapping, biting just the inside corner of his lip...he was working on the list in his head.

I could not help it as my eyes traced his jawline...his messy hair that looked so damn soft...those dark eyes that pierce your soul but also lit up like a beacon when amused. He looked like a rugged, dirty Greek god with an affinity for bloodlust. Even his hands looked perfect to hold my--

You are here to help. NOT OGLE YOUR CO!

Even if he is pretty.

Handsome?

Gorgeous?

Wet dream worthy?

Whoa! Too much. Pull up, you buffoon!

With all my willpower, I turned back to focus on organizing the reports on the table and checking to make sure we had enough paper. Who knew the army used so much paperwork? Everything had to be documented. I could see why it seemed Winters never left his office...or Nixon. Without Lipton's help, I doubted Speirs would ever see his men. I absent-mindedly wondered if I should offer to help out more often.

Obviously out of the goodness of my heart and not to ogle the handsome devil currently before me.

Nope.

Several minutes later, there was a knock on the door. After Speirs bid them enter, two replacements stepped into the room. Their ODs were clean, helmets practically sparkled in the sunlight, eagerness written all over their faces. They did not carry the weariness from the Ardennes on their shoulders. They still looked like boys wanting to play soldier with the other neighborhood kids. All I could figure was they had gotten dropped off with the other soldiers returning from the hospital.

Both rapidly saluted Speirs, who only lazily saluted in response, still leaning against the window.

"Captain, sir." The shorter of the two spoke first, practically bouncing on his toes. "We were wondering if we'd see some action soon."

The other one chimed in, a proud smile exaggerating his chubby cheeks. "Yeah, we heard a rumor there's a patrol. Sir, we're ready to get our rifles dirty by killing Krauts, sir."

Christ. These two are greener than the Jolly Green Giant.

I quickly muffled a snort by turning it into a cough. It must have not been as subtle as I hoped with the side-eye Speirs gave me.

Speirs sighed, crossing his arms across his chest. "Your platoon leader will let you know. I suggest you head back to your OP… and try not to get hit by mortars or snipers on your way there."

The two glanced at one another, seeming to remember that Nazis were just as likely to kill them. A necessary reminder. After another round of salutes, they hurried out and closed the door behind them.

"Jesus Christ! If I hear those two asking about killing Krauts again, I'll shoot them both…. And murder wasn't on my agenda today."

"Murder usually isn't on anyone's agenda." I murmured, making notes on a supply list. We definitely needed more ammo...and chocolate bars. There might be a mutiny if we did not receive more chocolate bars and cigarettes.

"No, it's on mine. Just not until Thursday."

Wait….

...What?

My head whipped up to stare at Speirs. I honestly was unsure if he was joking or serious. I mean, hell, we all knew the rumors about him. With his signature serious expression, he held my gaze, as if waiting for me to question him. I chose not to. Really, I believed him. He would be the one to throw a grenade near his men to get them to pay attention. Or get bored and sneak into the enemy's camp to steal their rifles or something just to mess with them.

Then I saw the twitch of his lips, forcing back a smile.

At that I laughed, shaking my head. "No offense, sir, but I think we need to find something better for you to do with your time."

"Oh?" He tipped his head slightly, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Like what?"

Me.

Shit. Don't say that aloud.

"Mmm…" I tapped my lip with my finger, pretending to think about it. "Preferably something other than terrorizing your men."

"Ah, but it's fun. You should join me."

I shook my head, not even trying to suppress the indulgent smile on my face. What had my life become? Here I was joking with CAPTAIN SPEIRS about committing murder…. for fun? Later I should question my sanity, but right now, I was more than amused to see him in this new lightheartedness. I had only ever seen him always stoic, poised, ready for anything in war. I found this new side of him only increased his attractiveness.

Damn it.

"What are you doing on Thursday?" He probed, still watching me with a hawk-like gaze.

I shrugged my shoulders, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. If he was going to joke around, I felt I could return the favor. "Maybe I'm going on a date."

"With who?"

"Whoever can afford me, I guess."

He laughed, widening my own smile. I had never heard him laugh before, and if I could admit it to myself, the world was missing out without that sound. He shoved off the window, to come sit on the corner of the table, one leg dangling off the side, almost touching the chair I sat on. "And what would a date with you consist of?"

I thought back to before the war. Back before I was weighed down by pain and death. What my life had once entailed. "An elegant dinner at the best restaurant around. Pictures or dancing afterwards. I'm not picky. Then after all that, if I had a very good time, I might be tempted to bring him back to my apartment for some late-night drinks and, well, we'd see where it went from there. But don't tell my mother that last part."

"Sounds like you've got it all planned out."

"I'm a lady who knows what she wants."

"Mmm…" He ran a hand over the stubble growing on his jaw. "I need to change my schedule for Thursday now."

This information you are trying to process does not compute. Please try again.

"You taking me out on the date?" I teased back, leaning back slightly in my chair. Mentally, I prepared for him to make a joke about killing whomever was taking me out for the company's sake or something along those lines, since the idea of him having interest in me was preposterous.

In one swift move, he shifted over so his leg was between mine allowing him to lean forward and hover over me. The air between us suddenly felt hot compared to the rest of the room. Those dark eyes scanned me, as if slowly undressing me with both the utmost care but also unbridled passion. "Yes. Though we might have to skip with the elegant dinner. I'll share the better parts of the K rations. We also might need to skip the pictures or dancing. But I am positive I can steal some of Nixon's Vat 69 and we can go straight to the late-night drinks. Of course, I'll be a gentleman and let the lady decide what happens after." He finished with a cocky wink at me.

Holy mother of-

I was not ready for that.

I could only stare at him for a long moment. My body practically throbbed for him with the image he painted in my mind. The way his voice became so smooth and sensual. The peak of his tongue as he quickly licked his lips before speaking. Now he sat there, his leg dangling between mine, keeping me glued to my seat. Subtly, I tried to press my thighs together to alleviate some of the pressure building. Not that it helped with his intense gaze making my heart beat faster and his lazy smile telling me he KNEW the effect he was having on me.

Act cool.

Act cool!

Play it off!

I leaned forward, smirking. "Do you always offer to take your executive officers out on a date? If so, I can see why Lipton likes you so much."

He chuckled, eyes alluring and heated. "No, not all of them. Just the ones that I've been admiring for some time."

Well shit.

Abort.

Abort!

Don't you dare, you've dreamed about this man before. Ride it out, you coward!

I blinked in surprise but before I could respond, he had already made his move. He leaned forward and braced his hands on the arms of my chair, hovering over me. His face now was only inches from mine. I was positive he could hear how fast my heart was beating. My lips parted, trying to encourage breath into my lungs that were struggling to send oxygen to my brain. His eyes drifted down to my lips and lingered there. As if in compliance, my own eyes glanced at his lips, how soft they looked, even slightly chapped still from our time in Bastogne. His hands slid ever so slowly further up the arms of the chair, stopping just next to my elbows. Now I could see the faint lines around his eyes. His hair slipped forward, calling my eyes upward. I struggled to not reach forward and touch it. To see how it felt with my fingers running through it. A soft chuckle had my eyes snapped back to his, as he watched me with an intensity that border-lined frightening and lascivious.

I gulped. "Captain Speirs…"

"No," he just barely ran the tip of his nose over the shell of my ear. His hot breath caressed my skin. My eyes fluttered closed on their own accord; my body unable to handle the pleasurable sensation. He whispered into my ear, voice fully commanding and salacious. "No, you call me Ron when we're alone."

Mission control. We are going down. I repeat we are going down in flames!

My underwear was not prepared for this!

"Ron." I liked the way his name rolled off my lips. If the quiet, sharp inhale from him said anyway, he liked the way it sounded too. Tilting my head just the slightest, I could look up into those dark, smoldering eyes. Our lips though...I could taste his breath on my tongue. I could feel the warmth from his skin radiating onto mine, turning me into a puddle of desire.

Oh God, he smelled like everything that is beautifully masculine. Not the nasty, sweaty teenage boy but the pheromones that make your ovaries take notice and your uterus demands for something to be done with it. How was that possible?

"I'll...um, I'll make sure to add this to your schedule on Thursday." I whispered, almost able to feel his lips ghost over mine as my lips formed each word.

"Excellent."

His hand trailed up my arm, setting fire to my nerves. Gently, he wrapped it around the base of my throat, his thumb rubbing a pattern into my skin. The whole time our eyes remained locked. His pupils dilated, desire coloring them and I wondered if mine looked the same. The small amount of air between us was thick with tension and salacity. My body screamed for me to drag him down and crash our lips together. To see if he tasted as good as he looked. My hands were stuck in my lap though. It felt like we were in a stalemate, unable to move forward, to take that next step.

If something does not happen, I swear I will spontaneously combust!

Then someone knocked on the closed door.

Dear universe. That was NOT what I meant!

With a sigh, he slipped his hand up to rub his thumb along my bottom lip for the briefest of seconds. I swear the regret coursing through my veins, I could see mirrored in his eyes. Ever so slowly he retracted his hand and leaned back, but stayed on the edge of his desk, his leg still between mine.

"Enter." He called out, only turning his heavy gaze from mine when the person stepped through.

First Sergeant Talbert walked in, opening his mouth then hesitated for a second as his eyes seemed to take in but not fully comprehend the scene before him. "Um, sir, there's a couple of replacements asking about a patrol…"

"Oh, for fuck's sake!"

I laughed at Speirs' pained expression. Quickly, I jumped to my feet and brazenly patted his chest, my hand lingering on the feel under my palm. "I'll take care of it before murder happens."

"That's not till Thursday." He looked at me with a wry grin. His hand subtly reached forward to skim my hip before grabbing the edge of the table.

"Remember, you're busy now. Murder has to wait."

"Fine. Friday it is then."

"If you have the energy after." I winked at him. I only caught a glimpse of the hunger that flooded his eyes before I turned on my heels and headed out the door. The whole way out I could feel his heated gaze on my back, like his fingers were trailing down my spine. I shivered in anticipation for what it would really feel like.

I'll make sure he doesn't have the energy to terrorize Easy… I'm definitely doing this for their sakes… completely self-sacrificing… yep, I won't enjoy this at all.

#band of brothers #Band of Brothers fandom #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers imagine #ronald speirs #ron speirs #ron speirs x reader #ronald speirs x reader #ww2 #world war 2 #mzwrites

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jungle321jungle · 4 years

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Things I won’t write but wanna read: Sword Art Online Abridged AU

Characters (with a shit ton of quotes for my procrastination justification):

Virgil is Kirito

The loner who isn’t really a loner

“Some of my best friends have been NPCs!”

“I hate them for lots of reasons, but mostly because they’re a bunch a mouth breathing neckbeards who think lmao is how french people laugh”

The Virgil is always right foundation

“Oh, I'll tell you what we do. We play his game... and we win.”

Kirito wrote the guide and it has some prime things he would write

"Send the weaker players first. Good rule of thumb: If a player asks you for gold 2 seconds after meeting you, front lines... If they hijack conversations to rant about their political views, front lines... If they ask female players for pics of their boobs, front lines."

“In another life... in another time... I think we could have been friends.”

Whoever is Diabel: “I... doubt it.”

“Well, fuck you too!”

Janus is Asuna

Imagine Janus living in a game for two months without knowing how to even open a menu to eat

“If you say open your menu, I’m gonna stab your eye out.”

“At least I pretend to care about people!”

“Really? I figured some random perp would be no match for the world's greatest detective. Oh wait no, that's Batman! And you're not Batman, are you? You will never be Batman.”

This also means that Janus is a commander

And yet he pretends to be weak and makes virgil to the work cuz he cant threaten his position

Janus tries to melt Heathcliff with his mind

Remus is Klein

“F**k you, man! That's, like, the pig from hell!”

“Wait. There's something scrolling across mine. "Hahahahaha hahahahaHAha hahaHAhaha hahahaha haha ha ha..."

“Oh, what? Did all of your friends die again?”

BallsDeep69

“I'm gonna clap for you with my teeth, buddy!”

He gets his own guild

Remus would love a guild

Logan is Yui

“May I read it when you are done? I'm curious about the geopolitical situation in Collinia.”

“That is not at all what irony is. I believe the turn of events you described would be best classified as "completely expected".”

Yulier person stand in: “Wha... What are you talking about?

“Irony, noun: A state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result. Example: Your leader is named "Thinker", yet he appears to be something of a dullard.”

not to mention when yui reveals herself

Logan: “As you have probably guessed by now, I am not a normal player. I am, in fact, a highly advanced Artificial Intelligence designed to psychologically evaluate and care for the players of Sword Art Online. Designation: Yui.”

Janus: “Oh my god. You're a Psychiatrist AI? Well, I can certainly think of a few people who could've used your help.”

“Indeed. That is why I was so distraught when, on the day of the game's launch, Kayaba Akihiko locked me away and forbade me to interact with the players. For years, all I could do was sit and watch.”

Virgil: “Oh god! He made you watch?!”

“Day after day, constantly bombarded by the pain and anger of all the people I could not help, I gradually fell into despair. But then... all of that changed when I found you two...”

Janus and Virgil: “Awwwww.”

“...the most broken, sociopathic players I had ever laid eyes on. Less people than a... loose collection of character defects.”

Virgil: “That kinda... went in a different direction than I was expecting.”

“But somehow, together... you were happy. Everything I knew about human relationships told me that one would eventually kill the other. And yet, no matter how often you fought, your bond only seemed to grow stronger. I decided that my information must be flawed in some way, and that I needed to amend it firsthand.”

Janus: “You... You mean...?”

“I wanted to know what love is. I wanted you to show me....... “I am sorry I lied to you. I inserted myself into your lives merely to satisfy my own curiosity. At least... at first. It was... nice to be a part of your family. I... I wish I really was your son!”

Roman is Liz

first off im laughing at the idea of him being as thirsty as liz

“Wait! Don't go! I need details, man! I live vicariously through you! Your sex live is my sex life!“

“As I awoke from my slumber, I found the stranger with the guarded heart, digging through the snow with solemn determination. His muscles glistening in the morning light. Deep within me stirred feelings I had not felt in many moons. It was at that moment that I learned... the Temperature of the Heart- What am I doing?! Stop it! STOP IT!”

Roman saying gnarliest

“Whoa, an Elucidator! This is the gnarliest sword you can get from a monster drop!”

And the prime friendship with whoever the fuck tiffany is

the fear of janus later

Patton is Silica

“I DON'T WANNA WEAR MY PET, YOU MONSTER!“

Silica ate crayons as a kid

Virigil: “God, do I ever! I can never un-know! These brain cells could've been used to formulate the perfect strategy to get us out of this game! Instead, they've memorized what kind of crayons you liked to eat when you were 4!”

Patton: “I liked the purple ones.” “Yeah, I know! "And the blue ones were too tart!"

Virgil: “Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!”

Patton: “The power to believe in myself?”

“Nooooo, a knife! Stab it!”

"Oh, right!”

Also this prime time interaction

Patton: “Well, you did just kill someone. Doesn't that make you feel... something?”

Virigil” Oh, feelings? Yeah, I don't have those anymore. Went cold turkey.”

“What?! You can't just do that! What's the point in living if you can't feel happiness, wonder, love...?”

“Or the sweet taste of revenge! You're right, Silica! What's the point in living if I can't enjoy such simple things?”

“Eh, close enough.”

“You're a good friend, Silica. We should go on more adventures.”

“Um, I don't think so. Don't take this the wrong way, Mr. Kirito. I'm grateful for your help, but yoooou're, like, the worst person I've ever met.”

“Is that your big plan here, huh? Make me feel feelings so you can cut me down a peg? That cuts deep, kid. But I respect that.”

Yeah... that's kinda the problem.”

Remy is Heathcliff

“As you can see, I have peeled away your petty facades and revealed you for what you truly are... fairly attractive twenty-somethings, apparently. Good for you. Kinda undermines the whole "cold light of day" thing I had planned, but still. Way to break down stereotypes. 'Cept you, fatty. Way to bring down the curve.“

“Next thing you know, your tutorial NPC is nowhere to be found and players are dropping like Dorito-encrusted flies. Now in this case, any sane man would simply turn off the servers before anyone else got hurt, but because you've now been awake long enough to think the government is run by "Floobar, King of the Mole Men", the best idea that comes to your mind is to double, triple, and quadruple down. So, you lock everyone in the game, tell them they'll die if they don't finish it, and try to make it look like this is all part of your "master plan" instead of an ever-spiralling series of events that you have long since lost control of.”

“Hey, cut me some slack, okay? Can you two even begin to imagine 500 uninterrupted hours of consciousness? Forget mole people! About halfway through I swore I saw the face of God! Until I realized it was just the night janitor, Reki. On the plus side, I gave him a hell of an ego boost. Hmm, man was riding that compliment for days.”

“Yeah, okay. See, Janus, the problem with that... is that it's an excellent idea that I wish I had thought of two years ago.”

Sachi ??????

Others ???????

#this is long but oh well #virgil sanders #Janus Sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #sao abridged #something witty entertainment #sanders sides fic #bullet point fic #other writing things

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #327

starting to run outta steam... haha.

What design is on your shower curtain? It doesn't have one. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? Ha ha yeah, for yelling "HOLY SHIT!" once, lmao. Ever made a snow angel? Yeah. Do you laugh at racial jokes? Absolutley not. What’s the highest you can count in a different language? 999, in German. How’s your flirting skills? I wouldn't know, ask those I've flirted with. Have you ever cried over a breakup? For a whole year and then some. I still have episodes. What does your dream life look like? Living isolated in the woods by a river and waterfall with a fantastic spouse, me being a very successful photographer and at least somewhat above *just* financially "stable," maybe having at least one poem published, lots of pets (mostly snakes), plenty of travel opportunities (mostly for photography), being free of my social anxiety and actually being reasonably confident, back in great physical shape... I'm really daydreaming now. What’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t? bleh Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube, back when it was a much more social platform. Do you enjoy wine? No, it's way too bitter. What did you last ask your parents permission for? I asked Mom if I could snack on some chocolate chips she was saving for fudge (since Christmastime...). She was fine with it. Periods are fun. Do you get annoyed when you hear babies crying? I shouldn't, but I do. Me and babies just don't mix. Why were you in a waiting room the last time? I was at a doctor's appointment. What’s your lawyer’s name? I don’t have one. Do you own a lot of scarves? I don't think I own any... Would you ever get a face tattoo? I doubt it, but maybe something very small and subtle. Are your expecting anything in the mail? No. What would you like to see out of your window everyday instead of what you see now? Nature. The woods. Would you rather have a house exterior made from wood, brick, or stucco? Aesthetically, wood, but I don't support the continuation of wood housing in a society where we have many other options that don't harm the environment as much. So, realistically, brick. What is your favorite breakfast? Cinnamon rolls. Do you own a diamond ring? No. Have you ever stripped? No. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? IT with Girt. Whose house did you last sleep over at? Sara's. Yes or no: foreplay? Lmao who the fuck does it w/o foreplay first. Would you ever record you having sex? No fucking way. Something nobody’d ever guess about you? I used to be in great shape. Would you like to be a journalist? I actually wouldn't mind it. It was almost my minor the last time I was in college, actually, but the required courses were a no-no for me. Last year for school, we had an assignment where we had to choose a popular song to write a story based on. What song would you’ve picked? I don't know popular songs, so I'm picking any song. Off the top of my head, given my love for dark and morbid shit, maybe "Voyeur" by Otep. That song is messed up as fuck. No, it's actually not about sex, 'cuz I ain't interested in writing about that. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? I don't think it did. Do you have a long driveway? No, it's actually very short. Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Oh yes. Are you friends with anyone missing one of their five senses? Not to my knowledge. Are you good at Pac Man? I'm no better than anyone else. Do you have an embarrassing period story? If so, what is it? No. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? No. Do you prefer tampons or pads? Tampons. Pads are mega uncomf. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty? I don't know, actually. What stereotype do you fit the most? Geek, maybe? Emo? Idk. If you’re a worshipper, how do you worship? I don't worship anything. What’s your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook? Not a lot, no. Does your father have facial hair? Yes. Have you ever had a hamster? Yeah, we went through a few. All of 'em were evil. Grape or strawberry jelly? Absolutely grape. What language would you most like to know fluently? German. Do you remember the last song you slow danced to? "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. Do you plan on having alcohol at your wedding? I don't know. Do you have an idea of who you might kiss next? I know who I WANT to kiss next, but that doesn't mean it'll happen. I hate psychic questions. Who’s the most controlling person you know? She's not in my life anymore. Do you own a microphone? No. Do you enjoy trailers at the cinema? I do. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. A centipede, to name one. I've gotten more into the idea of owning invertebrates, and centipedes are in that hobby, but they creep me the fuck out. They're cool to watch, but I don't want one in my house. Do you have a picture of you throwing up the peace sign? Yeah, it's actually one of my favorite pictures of me without makeup. Has a very "me" vibe. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? Ha, yeah. Can you tell the difference between a Scottish and an Irish accent? Nope. Can you read music? Probably not anymore. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. What is the movie that you have waited the longest for/which film do you remember anticipating the most/are still anticipating? Finding Dory takes the cake. What is something that an interested guy/girl could comment about you, that would make you instantly open to them (e.g., “That book you’re reading is from my favorite author”)? If you compliment my Markiplier tattoo because you get it, we are immediately family. Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? Ozzkat. I use it essentially everywhere. Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? HA, way more than once. Hyperfixation is a friend of mine. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? C U T E ! ! ! What are your thoughts on mini-skirts or mini-dresses? ALSO C U T E ! ! ! Have you ever died in one of your dreams? Yes. What appliance in your kitchen do you use the most often? The microwave. Do you use Skype to talk to your friends? Sara, yes. And Sam once in a blue moon if we're playing WoW together. Are you allergic to any animals? No. Have you ever had to go to the police department? No. Have you ever been called bipolar? Well yes, because I am. Have you ever made fun of a handicapped person? Hell no, and fuck you if you ever have. If a necklace/ring gives you green marks, do you still wear it? No. Have you ever had food poisoning? I don't think so, no. Favorite emoticon? Probably c: Do any emoticons annoy you? No, but an excessive amount of them I find disruptive to whatever I'm reading. Do you think there will be a WWIII? Yup, someday. Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo? Yeah, back in high school. The most interesting thing that’s ever happened to you at a grocery store? I dunno. Probably running into someone unexpected. Do you have any good book ideas? Having written RP since I was 10 years old... I could by now write a dozen dictionary-sized novels encompassing what I think are the greatest storylines. I genuinely do believe there's some fantastic stuff we've got, but there's just too many horribly dark and twisted parts in the evil mobs that I am not comfortable publishing. Are you gonna see Cars 2? Well, this is old. I never even saw the first one. In all honesty, can a person be too nice? Yep. *points at Weed from GDW* Have you ever posted a video onto YouTube? Yeah, mostly "meerkat music videos," I guess you could say. Some tributes to certain MM characters, others just music with meerkat clips. How often do you compliment other people? I try to any time I have a sincere one. I am very much for complimenting people openly and often. The Legend of Zelda series: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time? I'm not a fan of the franchise, honestly. Never got the hype. Do you even game at all? Most certainly, but not nearly as much as I used to... You can only replay old games but so many times before you just can't anymore. And the "newest" console I have is the original Wii, so... I definitely don't have the modern equipment. Would you give Zumba dance lessons a try if presented the opportunity? Probably not. Definitely not while my legs are in such bad shape; the dancing is pretty intense and would seriously hurt. I could easily imagine myself fainting. Do you own a rosary? No, but I did in my Catholic-raised childhood. Do you like Adult Swim? No. Sorry excuses for humor everywhere. What’s the first thing you do when you get on the computer? Do a quick check on KM just to ensure everything's in order. What’s one thing that you just wish you could do all of your life? Not have to pay bills, haha. If someone asks for your honest opinion, do you give it? Yes, if they emphasize they really want honesty. When was the last time you felt uninformed or out of the loop? Apparently some politician (I think) died recently and people practically rejoiced on Facebook. I knew zip about him. When in a car, where do you like to sit? Passenger seat/shotgun. Have you ever fought with a good friend over something completely stupid? Oh, absolutely. There have been plenty of RP-related arguments with multiple people... In the big picture, it's laughable to fight over a game, but when you're so invested in your own creations, in the moment, it can seem like a big issue. Those drama days are long behind me now. Would you ever visit a third-world country? I don't think so, no. It would shatter my heart, especially seeing children in poverty. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? No. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? Probably call over something like, "I'm not deaf, you know." I highly doubt I'd sit there with my mouth shut. Have you ever felt manipulated? Yes. If you were homeless, how would you cope? If I was truly, entirely homeless, quite honestly, I'm almost positive I'd kill myself. Have you ever done something just to fit in? Yeah. When was the last time you tried to impress someone, for whatever reason? I'm not sure, but I've certainly done it at one point or another. Do you think that the world could function in a state of anarchy? Definitely not. How well do you know your U.S. [or your country’s] history? I mean, I know the bare bones of it, but I'm far from well-versed in history. It was one of my weak subjects in school. Would you ever wish to move to another country? I'm not kidding when I say if it weren't for family, I would probably move to Canada. What is something that you do that others might consider “nerdy”? The way I write, particularly for academic purposes. I'm very descriptive and have an exceptionally large vocabulary. Have you ever had anything expensive stolen from you? Not from me specifically, but our basketball hoop was stolen from my childhood home. I doubt it was very cheap. Do you understand/notice when someone’s using sarcasm? Usually, anyway. When was the last time you were fooled? HAHA there was this drama video suggested to me on YouTube that involved Mark in the title, and I was mega confused and inevitably clicked. Now it's basically a YouTube meme just how "perfect" Mark is, so there was no real drama; apparently some newer fans are just upset at him for playing the sequel to HuniePop, a very sexual puzzle/dating game that's honestly entertaining and can be really funny. Like... he's played the original and despite the discomfort of some scenes (which are censored, mind you), he still had fun, and it was a big hit on his channel. So him playing the sequel isn't surprising, but apparently some people got shit to say. What first Impression do you hope you make with other people? Something along the lines of "wow, she's very nice." Have you ever thought about how you make other people feel/think? Well of course. I think everyone should take time to consider this. What is your stance on getting revenge? A petty waste of time. Any wise/truthful/witty quotes that you live by? Ha, another Mark answer. He once gave the casual innuendo of, "Life's hard; shouldn't you be, too?" (this might have actually been in a HuniePop video!), but when you take the... uh... sexual theme out of it, it's a good way to look at life???? Have tough skin, unmoving willpower, y'know, that stuff. Who was the last person you sat beside at a restaurant? My sister Ashley. Spongebob or Patrick? Patrick is a whole-ass mood. Would you rather watch little kid’s cartoons, older kid’s cartoons, or adult cartoons? Hm. Probably little kid's, given my love for Pokemon. How about watching regular cartoons or anime? Anime. Who is the last person you spent money on? Myself. Do you own a copy of Roller Coaster Tycoon? No; I had SeaWold Tycoon instead. I loved that game. Do you have any birth marks in embarrassing places? No. Have you used Limewire before? Of course. Free music for the low price of a catastrophic virus. :^) When was the last time you required a band-aid? I think when I cut one of my toenails way too short. Are you afraid of snakes? Oh no! I adore them so, so very much. Not saying I'm gonna go scoop up the first copperhead I find herping or something, but I love and respect them so very much. They are such fascinating animals. If you believe in reincarnation, what animal would you want to become? I don't think I believe in reincarnation, but hypothetically, maybe a lioness. Who do you tell everything to? Pretty much whoever reads these surveys, haha. Did you have candles on your birthday cake? Not my most recent one. Exactly, how old are you? I just turned 25 years and one month old. Have you ever been bitten by anything? Besides bugs, I don't think so. I've had cats and dogs playfight with me, but none have ever seriously bitten me with actual effort. Do you wear hats? No. What was the last song you sang along to? "Lunchbox" by Marilyn Manson. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years time? I'd like to be, but idk if it's realistic.

#survey #surveys #questions

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is0gild · 4 years

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Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 10

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 7,783

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

It’s times like these that I really do wonder which is more nerve-racking: being thrust into a social interaction unwillingly with a whole bunch of people? Or unwittingly with just one single, solitary person?

With the large group, it was definitely and without a doubt overwhelming. Just finding the strength alone to speak up and join in the conversation was a skill that still escaped me. And even if you did manage to get so much as two words out, that meant all eyes were suddenly on you. What if you talked too much? Or too little? What if you forgot what you were saying at all? Or worse, what if you said something stupid? What if you embarrassed yourself so bad that there’d be no showing your face ever again in the light of day, much less to another human being?

Which, if I’m being totally honest, I would probably find kind of amazing.

Hermit for life, yo.

But then, there were also advantages to the crowd. The biggest one being that an antisocial, cave-dwelling troll like me? More often than not could get away with saying nothing at all. Everyone else could handle all the chit-chat while I simply faded into the background and soaked up the ambiance. That way, I could just make an appearance and give the illusion of being socially active without actually being socially active.

One-on-one exchanges, on the other hand? Now those were a whole other beast. No, make that whole other species.

There was no fading into the background here. There wasn’t even a background to fade into. All there was was you and the other person. A person you were expected to carry half of the conversation with. When put on the spot like that with someone I barely knew, forget having a back-and-forth dialogue like a normal and well-adjusted friggin’ adult, I was lucky if I got anything out of my mouth more sophisticated than “uh” or “um.” Then there were the awkward silences where I’d frantically try to come up with something, anything to say only to have my useless lump of a brain play possum and draw a total blank. I died a thousand and one deaths in those damn silences.

And okay, sure, this was Lea we were talking about. An individual who by now I’d shockingly, and on more than one occasion no less, made reasonably successful small talk with. But a few minutes of a lunch break here or some brief, friendly banter while I was taking his order as my customer there was completely different than now finding myself alone with him in a booth at some random pub on a Friday night.

And besides, it was Lea. Lea, who I’d seen shirtless and slathered in ice cream. Lea, whose lips my lips had thrown themselves at within the first five minutes of meeting him. Lea, who-

Damn it, brain, really? Was now really the best time to be playing the highlight reel of Elsa’s Greatest Embarrassing Hits?

Needless to say?

Was.

Terrified.

Anna Fryse, if you could please report to the table in the back right corner, your older sister is waiting for you and is in desperate need of someone to hide behind right about now.

Also, Anna, if you were ever planning on developing the ability to psychically read thoughts, particularly mine, now would be the time to do it.

...of course, for her to hear that message, she’d need to already be psychic.

And if she was, that meant she was ignoring me.

Which she totally would do.

Brat.

Checking back into reality momentarily, it was in this second that it came to my attention that I was staring at Lea without realizing it. Well now I realized it. Particularly because he was looking back at me with a smile. My heart flatlined, my face paled and my eyes darted away.

Oh god, I had been staring. Did he know I’d been staring? ...of course he did, Elsa you dope! That’s generally what two people do when they're sitting together at a table talking.

Talking. Right. That was a thing I should be doing.

Alright, brain, I know you’re doing your best impersonation of the sound of a mime convention in there right now, but I’m going to need you to work with me here. Think of a word. Any word. Just something to get the conversation rolling. Oh yes. I can feel it. Here it comes. And that word is…

Flamingo.

...seriously, brain? Hadn’t we already said all that there was to say on the subject of flamingos earlier during the little palm notes debacle? Need we bring that back up again? I mean, I do see where you’re coming from - once you ask a man what he does in his flamingo, what else more is there to discuss with him, really? Might as well just-

“Fabracadabra?”

Lea’s voice broke through my thoughts, drawing my eyes back to him.

Wow. Now that was a really good word.

Way better than my lame word. Pssh, flamingo? What was that even about?

Wait… his word was also the name of another one of our ice cream flavors.

He took a swig from his ale as he studied me for a second, cocking his head before at last shaking it. “Nope. Too fruity sweet. You’re the type o’ gal who likes something with a lil more...” he clicked his teeth together with a smirk, “...bite to it.”

I blinked, some of my tension relaxing. Then my lips were doing something strange. Was it that crazy thing all the kids were doing nowadays, what’s it called? I believe the term was… grinning? “You’re… still trying to guess which one is my favorite?”

“Just you wait and see,” he scooched around the booth to sit closer to me, sliding the Ifrit bottle along the table with him, “I’m gonna get it. Mark my word.”

Turning my head slightly, I gave him some side-eye. “...you seem pretty sure of yourself.”

“With good reason! I’m twelve-and-oh, baby. Haven’t been wrong yet. Trust me, your top pick off the Ice Palace menu is as good as called.”

“Who ever said it was an Ice Palace signature flavor?”

His head rocked back at that, then he narrowed his eyes, “You play dirty.”

I hid a smile behind my fingers. “Want a hint?”

“Nah,” he leaned back, propping his elbows on the high back rim of the booth and stretching his long legs out under the table, crossed at the ankles. “Hints are for game show contestants and lame-os who lack self-confidence.”

“And you certainly have no shortage of confidence.”

He beamed, closing his eyes. “Nope! Who has two thumbs and is one cocky ass mofo?” Said two thumbs pointed at himself. “This guy.”

A soft snort escaped me and I shook my head. “No doubt about that,” I murmured as I looked away.

You know what? Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad afterall. Actually, it was turning out kind of... nice.

My gaze settled on Anna and Kristoff out there. It was all the poor boy could do to keep up with my sister on the dance floor. She even tossed him out into a spin at one point, much to his surprise if the face he made was any clue. But he seemed to be coming around to the whole experience. It even looked like he might be, dare I say it, having fun. They both did. Watching the two of them had me feeling an upward tug at one corner of my lips.

“So how ‘bout it?” I heard Lea ask.

I looked back at him, quirking an eyebrow. “How about what?”

His eyes crinkled as he nodded towards an open spot out in the middle of the pub. “Wanna dance?”

Cue sound of shattering glass.

“Ack! My drink!” Rayne yelped from the booth behind me. “Sorry, I’ll pay to replace the cup!”

As for me? I’d choked. On what? My heart launching itself up into my throat would be my guess.

“W-with you?” my mouth blurted out without consulting me first.

“No, with Grand High King Fuddy-Duddy over there sporting the scar,” he tapped a finger to the bridge of his nose, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, with me.”

Why? Why would he ask-? What could he possibly be- Oh! Oh I get it now! He was just being nice! Yeah, that had to be it. He just wanted to make sure I had fun tonight. That I felt included. He was being a good friend. He really was a very sweet guy.

But me? Dance with Lea? Me? Who cowered and fled at the first sign of any form of human contact? Nope. Couldn’t do it. Quite simply no way, no how. Dancing with Lea meant I’d have to get close to him. That I’d have to touch him. Er… not to say that there was anything wrong with touching him! I mean, it actually might be quite pleasant to-

Wait, what?

Uh… let’s just put a pin in that wayward thought there and come back to it later, like say, oh I don’t know… never. In the meantime, Lea was still waiting on my answer.

I opened my mouth to give it.

All that came out was a squeak.

...let’s try that again, shall we?

Clearing my throat and snatching a wisp of my hair to tangle around my fingers, I at last got out a hasty, “No, I don’t think so.”

Was that harsh? It sounded harsh. Ugh, this is why I don’t do people!

He tsked and sighed. “It’s cuz I’m ugly, isn’t it?”

“What?!” I blanched before quickly shaking my head. “No! No, no, no! That’s not it! Not because you’re ugly! I mean, you’re not! Ugly, that is! Not at all! Far from it, you’re very-” I slapped both hands over my mouth, face roasting.

Shut up. Shut up right now.

I watched him bend forward, planting one elbow on the table and chin in his palm as he now eyed me with a wide, cheshire grin. “Do go on, I’m all ears. I’m very…?”

Oh this smug, son of a…

My eyelids drooped and I lowered my hands. “...very manipulative in fishing for compliments.”

“Guilty,” he snerked, leaning back once more and slouching a bit into the cushions. His grin twitched wider, “So, that’s a hard no then?”

I couldn’t help a tiny smile of my own. “Sorry. I... just don’t dance.”

“No worries. Figured you might say something like that. But couldn’t pass up the chance to ask either,” he winked, taking another sip of his drink. Then he paused, pursing his lips to one side and rubbing the nape of his neck. “...so what is your story anyway?”

Brow furrowing, I asked, “My story?”

He struck up a finger, “You’re twenty-two. Fresh outta college. Guessing Ivy League no less just by the look of you, but total shot in the dark there. And you just got your first job… in a mall food court. Which, ya know, absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it’s the type of gig that only teens, university students, and college dropouts go for. Take it from me, a dropout twice over now, but back at it again for round three hoping it sticks this time,” up the hand went again, now with index and middle digits crossed.

“Why didn’t it the first couple times?” my head tipped to one side.

Who, me? Trying to take focus off myself? Deflecting? Psssh, I would never!

He splayed a hand out over his chest, “Believe it or not, I wasn’t always the well-adjusted, level-headed and responsible individual that you see before you today.”

“Really?” I snorted, squinting at him. “Is that what I’m seeing before me? I hadn’t realized.”

“Shush, you. Trust me, six, seven years ago? I was a real punkass troublemaker. The kind of boy you don’t bring home to your parents, all about the sex, drugs and rock-n-roll scene, ya know? That whole college thing sounded lame to me, but all my friends were doing it, so figured hell,” he shrugged, “why not give it a shot? But me and college didn’t really play well together. I didn’t take it seriously, not really. So eventually decided it wasn’t for me and kicked it to the curb. Few years later? Thought myself older, wiser, ready to give the big ol’ four years and a diploma deal a second chance. But I was just fooling myself, I hadn’t changed one bit. Wasn’t long before we were parting ways once again.”

I folded my arms on the table, “So what’s changed? Why is try number three going to be different?”

Lea frowned up at the ceiling. “I guess you just hit a point in your life when you realize you don’t want to be slinging pizza dough at minimum wage forever. Even a screwup like me’s got dreams. Nothing too fancy... just maybe something like owning and operating my own place. Maybe a lil ice cream parlour by the beach, a real mom and pop kind of store.

“Ah, it’s silly,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “but either way, I know jackshit about running a business. And that’s why I’m back to hitting those books once again and this time I’m doing my damnedest to hammer some knowledge into this thick skull of mine,” he pointed to his temple. “I’ve really buckled down and, uh…” his eyes darted away, “...shall we say, kicked some old habits.”

“You sound like you really want to make it work this time.” I propped one elbow next to the Shiva, leaning my cheek into my hand. “I haven’t known you that long, but based on what I do know about you, I’m guessing there isn’t much you can’t do once you’ve really set your mind to it.”

“Thanks!” he laughed. Then his smile turned a shade wry, “Don’t think I didn’t notice you trying to change the subject on me.”

...fudge.

He went on, “You got my story, now I’d love to hear yours.”

“I told you already,” I frowned, my hands reaching for a napkin to start twisting between them. “My, er… my major didn’t work out. This job… it’s temporary and-”

Lea cut me off with a wave of his hand, “Yeah, yeah, I know what ya said. I’m more interested in what wasn’t said.”

I grimaced, my fingers strangling the poor paper napkin harder. “It’s… a long story.”

“I got time. Loads of it. Only if you want to talk about it though. No pressure, it just looks like you need it.”

Did I? What was that supposed to mean anyway? “...It’s kind of personal. I’m not even sure if it’s something I really should be talking about.”

His forehead wrinkled. “What, like it’s a secret?” Then his face brightened. “I love a good secret! Okay, how about this. Let’s do a trade. I’ll give you one of my secrets, you give me one of yours. Could be anything, big or small, just whatever you want.”

I blinked at him.

Apparently, he took that as a yes, for now he was hunching forward, bringing his face closer to mine and whispering, “So here’s one that only one other person knows and only cuz he’s known me since he and I were in diapers. Not even the kiddos are in on it. Okay, so, my first name?” He gave one more quick glance around to make sure the coast was clear before lowering his voice even further, “Not actually Lea.”

My eyebrows knit together. “It’s not?”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “Middle name. Go by it cuz I hate my first name.”

“Which is?”

His face pinched. “Axel.”

“...Axel,” I repeated flatly, one eyebrow arching.

“Yup. Apparently, my folks were total diehards for Guns n’ Roses. But the real kicker? The couple o’ useless junkies that gave me life were apparently too high off whatever drug o’ the week they were on to even make sure the name was spelled right on the birth certificate. So instead of having a rockstar singer for a namesake, I’m named after a goddamn skateboard trick all thanks to one stupid E that wasn’t s’posed to be there,” he grumbled, throwing himself back into his seat and slumping down, crossing his arms.

I just stared at him for a second, silence stretching. Then I spluttered and burst out in laughter, trying to smother it behind my hands.

“Wow, rude much?” he deadpanned.

“I’m sorry, I really am! It’s just, with the name and that whole story and your pout…” Oh gosh, that pout! I thought he was supposed to be twenty-five, not five. Still giggling but sobering somewhat, I continued, “I just couldn’t help myself. I really am sorry though, I know I shouldn’t have found it funny.”

“Bah, it’s fine,” he brushed off with a grin. “I’ve had my whole life to get over it and yeah, it’s a lil funny. But now it’s your turn, Missy. Gimme a secret. Anything’ll do. And don’t worry, I’ll be a lot nicer about it than some insensitive clods at the table,” he gave me a pointed look, smirk still in place to show he was only teasing.

Oh. Right. That. I’d almost forgotten. Though technically, I’d never agreed to anything. Then again, he did just kind of bare his soul to me. And I did just kind of ridicule him when he did. So maybe… in a way, I sort of owed it to him?

“I…” My voice wavered as I hesitated, hands mangling the napkin again. I gnawed my lower lip, looking down, hearing the thudding in my ribcage get louder. Finally, I squeezed my eyes shut and opened my mouth, not fully sure what was going to come out. “My parents… have no idea where I am right now. They haven’t for a while.”

His eyes widened slightly at that. Whatever he’d be expecting, apparently it hadn’t been that.

Hey, same boat here, buddy.

“Oh… I see,” was all he said at first, taking another slow pull from his drink now as he turned this new little tidbit over in his head.

And that wasn’t even the half of it. I hadn’t mentioned the type of family I was from. Or that’d I’d been in a relationship, no, engaged with a fiancé. Or that’d I’d left him at the altar on my wedding day. Or that when I had, I’d made the split second decision to abandon the only existence I’d ever known and was now stumbling through life with absolutely zero clue as to what the frick I was actually doing.

...yeah, that would have been a lot. Perhaps a bit too much for sharing time. I think I’d made the right call with dropping only this one tiny piece of the puzzle. At least for now. And who knows? He seemed pretty perceptive, maybe it’d be enough for him to read between the lines and answer some of his questions about me. Then again, maybe not.

At last he leaned forwarded onto his elbows, one arm tucked behind the other, and said, “Alright, I’m gonna take a crack at this and you can let me know if I’m right. Or not. You don’t even have to say jackshit, you can just let me blather on like the big lunkhead that I am who likes the sound of his own voice too much, which I’m used to so no worries, totally your call.” He paused, steepling his fingers to his lips as he seemingly gathered his thoughts. Then, “Up ‘til now, I’m guessing you’ve probably led a pretty sheltered life. One where you were maybe used to having all the decisions made for you. But then, for whatever reason or other, you recently decided to cut the cord. So now you find yourself out in the big, bad world that no one really prepared you for, scrambling to find a foothold, scared shitless and just trying to figure out what the hell to do with yourself, let alone with your future.”

Holy… how on earth did he…?

Swallowing hard, I fiddled with the straw in my cocktail and mumbled, “Wow, you are good. Ever consider becoming one of those windup psychics in a box that spits out fortunes on little cards?”

He snorted. “Sure did, but was too dang tall to fit into the glass case. Too bad, those lil dudes have it made.” Then he tilted his head. “...want some unsolicited advice?”

I shrugged, now absently stirring the blue liquid of my drink. “Sure, why not.”

“Get out there. Explore. Try new things. Right now, I’m guessing your worldview is very small, so you need to expand it. It’s the only way you’ll figure out what to make of your life. Cuz as glamorous as it is, I suspect you’re like me and don’t exactly want to be working the food court all the way up into your golden years.”

Now I looked up at him, a crease forming between my eyebrows. “...are you telling me to get out of my comfort zone?”

Lea chuckled, scratching his cheek, “Sure, I guess that’d be one of way of putting it.”

“That’s actually something I’ve been hearing a lot lately,” I sighed, sinking further down into my seat. Sure, it sounded good in theory. But in practice? Easier said than done. “...any suggestions on where to start?”

He gave a low hum, rubbing a curled knuckle to his chin. Then his eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers. “Got just the thing! Be back in a jiff!” Then he sprung up to his feet, one hand on top the table to catapult himself over it and out the booth. As soon as his shoes hit the floor, he raced off, disappearing into the bar crowd.

...okay?

Should I be afraid? Yes, I think I should be afraid. Very, very afraid.

My eyes squinted, scanning the crush of soberly-challenged people out there, searching for that distinctive fiery head of hair. Should have been easy given Lea was a living embodiment of Mount Fuji, but even so, I was having trouble spotting him.

A sudden blur darted out of the throng and landed hard on the cushion beside me, crashing into my side and distracting me from my hunt.

Said blur was Anna. Surprise, surprise.

“Whew!” she puffed out happily, sweating and fanning herself with one hand while the other crammed fries into her mouth. “That boy… Kristoff, was it? Man oh man, would he be in trouble if I didn’t already have a boyfriend!”

Both eyebrows shot up my forehead. “Boyfriend?” That was news to me. “Since when?”

She froze mid-bite, shoulders stiffening and eyes going round. Then she snatched up her drink, slurping it down as her eyes shifted rapidly about. Then with a loud gulp, she at last let out a weak laugh, “It, uh… it’s new! Yeah, we… met… at the wedding! Sorry I didn’t tell you, I just didn’t want to say anything because I, er… felt bad! With, ya know, your love life all in the toilet and the bombed engagement and whatnot, so… heh…”

“Oh,” I averted my gaze with a tiny frown. At the wedding, huh? Was it someone from his side of the family? Or maybe a friend of his? Regardless, it didn’t really matter I supposed. I directed a soft smile her way, “I’m fine, really. There was no need for you to hold back. You know you can always tell me anything.”

“I know that!” she laughed, flicking one hand dismissively. “But please, it’s me. I have a new beau like every other week, so it’s hardly anything to stop the presses over! No, the real scoop here is what’s the deal with you and Lea? I wanna know everything!”

“Lea?” I creased my brow, making another quick visual sweep for the guy in question. Still no dice, but I did see Yuffie across the way playing a game of Darts with Meg and Terra. Though… could it still really be called Darts when the projectiles being used were more of those little ninja stars? Either way, it came as little to no shock when next a scowling Leon could be glimpsed making a beeline for the trio. “What about Lea?”

“Don’t play coy! I saw you two getting all cozy-like in this booth here all by yourselves just a minute ago!” her eyebrows waggled.

I scoffed. “There was nothing cozy about it. We were just talking.”

“And smiling. Like, a lot.”

“So? People smile when they talk.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, people. You don’t. Except for with me and Ray-Ray. Plus,” and here she got in my face, jabbed a finger into my collarbone and paused with all the drama of Sherlock Holmes about to reveal the key piece of evidence at the climax of an epic murder mystery. “...you laughed.”

Eyelids drooping, I grumbled, “I laugh all the time.”

“Nu-uh! And not like this, you don’t! Gawd, it’s been… I don’t even know how long since I heard a noise like that out of you. You can’t fool me, there’s definitely something between you two. A… a spark!”

A half groan, half huff escaped me. Anna was always like this. She’d binged one too many romantic comedies in her as of yet short existence on this earth. I’d been considering telling her about the Kissident, but now? Bad idea. Like, in all the history of bad ideas, it would just be the absolute worst. She’d have a field day with that one. Better to keep it on the hush-hush for the time being. “There is no spark! There’s not even a… a flicker! Or a glimmer! Or a glint! Not even a fizzle, okay? We’re just friends. Besides, I just broke up with a fiancé not even a month ago, so alleged sparks are the furthest thing from my mind, understand?

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” she slyly brought the Golden Chocobo back up to her lips.

Eyes narrowing dangerously, I cracked my knuckles, “Methinks if the little sister doth enjoy breathing, she’ll knoweth when to zip it.”

“Methinks the little sister is zipping it forthwith!” Anna chirped with a two finger salute. There was a lull as she plucked another fry to give it a nibble. Then, “Sis, can I just tell you how amazing this is?”

My head dipped to one side. “What is?”

“This!” Her arms spread out wide before bringing both hands in to gesture at me, “You! Being out in the real world! Making it on your own! Meeting new people! Having a job! All of it! You’re different! It’s a good different! And this is just the start too, I can already see it, you’re gonna do great things. I’m so proud of you,” she cooed, pinching my cheek.

I swat her hand away, “Great things? Please, Anna… I scoop ice cream at a mall.”

“Yeah, for now! But that alone was a huge step for you. I mean, c’mon, if someone had told you a year ago that you’d be out from under Mom and Dad’s tyrannical thumbs and doing the whole independent thing, you’d probably would’ve just thought that person was spouting crazy talk.”

“I suppose that’s true,” I murmured, feeling the hint of a grin pulling at one side of my mouth. “I guess… I never knew what I was really capable of.”

“Well, now you’ve had just the kick in the rear you needed to find out!” Her smirk then slowly faded into a tiny grimace. “Listen… I’m so sorry about what happened. If I’d known how unhappy you were, I never would’ve let you get all the way up to the day of wedding bells before-”

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize,” I shook my head, putting my hand on top of hers. “It wasn’t your job to save me, it was mine. I just… should have done something about it sooner. Then maybe things wouldn’t be the disaster zone I imagine they are now back at home,” I puffed out a heavy sigh.

Anna laughed, “You got that right! Mom and Dad? Still hella pissed! So any thoughts on when you’re gonna talk to them?” I winced, looking away. She hastily tacked on, “No rush or anything! And you don’t have to worry about me spilling the beans to them either about where you’re laying low! Take all the time you need. I just think-”

“Sorry to interrupt ladies!” We both jumped slightly in our seats as Lea made a sudden reappearance, skidding to a stop beside our table, eyes bright and ear-to-ear grin splitting his face in two. “But I’m gonna need to borrow El here for a minute!”

“Of course!” Anna giggled, standing up from the booth to clear a path out for me. “She’s all yours!”

Um… excuse me?

Don’t I get a say in this?

“Thank you!” he singsonged before snatching my hands in his and yanking me up out of the booth and onto my feet. “Come on, we’re up next!”

Up? Up where?

He started to turn but stopped, tapping a finger to his pursed lips. Then the smile was back with a vengeance as he picked up the Shiva and shoved it into my hand. “Lil liquid courage never hurt!” he gave a firm nod before taking my other hand in his once again and sprinting off, me doing my best not to spill the drink as I stumbled and tripped after him.

I had a bad feeling about this.

“Where are we going?” I called out as we weaved a path through the crush of people, ignoring the soft, weird buzz I was feeling where my fingers were interlaced with his.

Not breaking stride, he turned his head just enough to glance at me out of the corner of his gaze, eyes crinkled. “You’ll see.”

My bad feeling now had an added side of gut-wrenching dread thrown in on the house.

Particularly because I was pretty sure we were heading straight for the-

“Next up on the karaoke stage,” a female voice suddenly rang out over the speakers high above while the music coming from the jukebox faded away, “we have Elsa and Lea here to sing a duet for us! Please welcome them with a round of applause, everyone!”

The room erupted in cheers and clapping as we at last broke out of the dense crowd to find ourselves directly in front of the stage.

Aka my worst nightmare.

Well… at least at the moment.

My nightmares had a tendency to pass around the highly coveted and sought after “Worst” title, depending on which one was most pressing at any given second of the day.

There wasn’t that much to it. The stage was made of dark, polished hardwood with maroon, heavy velvet curtains hanging behind it to decorate the back wall. There were a couple of stands for the cordless mics accompanied by a lone barstool between them. And of course, the karaoke machine itself, front and center with a large screen on top of it for displaying the lyrics. As a whole, it was almost deceptively innocent looking in its simplicity.

But I knew better.

I’m on to you, you miniature torture chamber cleverly disguised as fun for the whole family.

“Surprise!” Lea beamed down at me. Then another tug at my arm and I was staggering to keep up once more as he brought me around to one side of the stage and up its stairs. I tried to put on the brakes, but my legs had turned to jelly, rendering them useless. Instead, it was all I could to stammer and splutter as he chipperly explained, “So as far as available songs go, it was slim pickings when it came to duets, nothing but cheesy love songs. But I think I picked the best one of the bunch, super energetic, should be loads of fun and-”

“No!” I at last managed to get out, jerking my hand free, whirling on my heel and marching back down those steps at warp speed.

He was quick to follow, grab me by my shoulders, spin me back around and guide me up again, still with that stupid grin in place. “Aw, c’mon! You asked me for ideas on new things for you to try! So here you go!”

“Who says I haven’t done this before?” I hissed, feet now scraping across the stage as he slid me along it.

Lea snerked through his nose. “I took a wild guess.”

“That was awfully presumptuous of you.”

“So what, you telling me you’ve sung karaoke?”

“No, but that doesn’t make you any less presumptuous!”

We came to a stop now next to the mics. He stepped in front of me and bent down to my eye level, his hands still firmly gripping my upper arms to keep me from bolting. “Come on, El! Do it for me! As a favor to a friend!”

I shot him a deadpan look. “Fun fact: we’re no longer friends.”

“Since when?”

“Since ten seconds ago when you dragged me up here against my will.”

“Pfft, you don’t mean that,” he finally released me, ruffling my bangs and rolling his eyes before stepping over to the mics, unblocking my field of vision. That’s when I saw it.

All.

Those.

People.

Watching. Murmuring. Waiting. I’d already known the bar was packed, but now, up here, sensing every single last one of those eyes on me, the place seemed to be all but bursting. There were just… just so many! I-

Wait, was the crowd shrinking? And not as is thinning out, but were the people actually getting... smaller?

“Oof!” I wheezed out a surprised grunt as my back collided with something.

Oh.

That’d explain it.

Apparently without me even realizing it, my feet had taken it upon themselves to back me away from the edge of the stage, away from the people and straight into the curtained wall behind me. My hand started groping about, looking for the edge of said curtain, latching on when I found it and sweeping it out for me to hide behind. Everything went dark.

I am stealth.

A ghost.

A ninja.

Sneakiness personified.

Unseeable, unknowable, and-

The curtain whipped away and I winced as light returned, revealing Lea standing before me. He laughed, “There you are!”

I squeaked, grabbed the curtains and yanked them in front of me once more.

Now where was I? Ah, that’s right… ahem! Unseeable, un-

The velvet curtain flew to the side once more and Lea hooked his hand in my elbow, pulling me out and back towards the karaoke machine. “Trust me, you’ll be fine! You got nothing to worry about! I’ll be there the whole time, hamming it up and just in general making a big idiot outta myself, so no one's even gonna be looking at you. All you gotta do is stand there and sing your parts when they come up, 'kay? Song’s super short too, so it’ll be over before ya know it!”

My lips parted to tell him exactly where he could take his “super short song” and stick it, but was interrupted by the spotlights suddenly flicking on. One zeroed in on Lea, the other blasted me like a paralyzing ray and I just stood there, eyes wide and unblinking, mouth hanging open and alcoholic beverage still in hand.

Another wave of applause went up for us as Lea tossed me a mic. Frozen stiff, I made no move to catch it, instead just watching it dumbly as it arced up through the air before streaking straight down in front of me to clatter against the stage. He snorted, bent down to pick it up and put it in my free hand, pressing my numb fingers to close around it before he moved to stand in front of the other mic.

My breathing was shallow, my heart was a jackhammer and my feet no longer seemed to work, now just glued to this spot.

Oh god, was this really happening?

That’s when the music started.

Apparently, yes. Yes it was.

The tune was led in by a quirky, rubbery bassline and a playful piano. Wait… I knew this song. Yeah, it was from a musical. The one full of leather jackets, summer lovin’ and grease lightning. Musicals were a good thing. Musicals were a thing I knew. Kind of a guilty pleasure of mine. Used to sing along with them all when I was little. It could actually be considered kind of pathetic, the sheer percentage of my brain that was still to this day crammed full of all the words to famous Broadway hits.

All that said though… it did absolute friggin’ zilch to calm me down.

“I got chills, they’re multiplying,” Lea started off, dipping his mic stand dangerously low and giving it a wide sweep around before straightening back up and removing the mic from the base. He was no Travolta, but his voice actually wasn’t half bad. “And I’m losing control,” he sang on, spinning on one foot once, twice, three times before abruptly stopping to point at me with a smirk, working some hip action. “Cuz the power you’re supplying… it’s electrifying!” His whole body spasmed from head to toe as he fell to his knees then full on faceplanted at my feet, causing me to jolt back a step.

...hamming it up? Please, more like going whole hog! Jeez!

My part was coming up in about five seconds. I could hardly hear the music anymore over the thundering of my heart or the hiss of breath hyperventilating in and out of my nose. That’s when it happened again.

Everyone and everything around me was suddenly in slo-mo.

Man, I really needed to get a handle over my powers of time control!

It was in this uncanny second of my wildly burgeoning mutant ability (ha, if only) that I spotted them. Rayne and Anna, in the front row of the crowd with big smiles to root me on. As I locked eyes with one then the other, my sister gave me an excited nod of encouragement while my roommate was mouthing something to me. Couldn’t be sure, but it looked suspiciously like the words ‘comfort zone.’

Then I looked down at my hand holding the Shiva.

...liquid courage, huh?

...fine. Let’s do this.

Nostrils flaring, I raised the drink to my mouth, knocking back several gulps before slamming the glass down on top of the barstool. Still shaking, I jerked the mic up to my lips, knuckles white around the handle. Like a dam bursting, the words started flooding out before I could even think them. “You better shape up,” oh gosh, was that a quiver I heard in my voice? My free hand down by my hip clenched tightly. “Cuz I need a man, and my heart is set on you.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Lea still flat on the floor but now propped up on his elbows and gawking at me. I looked away, heat flooding my face. Come on now, I know it’d been a while since I last sang so I was rusty, but I couldn’t be that bad. Stubbornness flaring, I took a deep breath and continued, words stronger now, “You better shape up! You better understand to my heart I must be true…”

“Nothing left, nothing left for me to do,” Lea came back in with a fierce grin as he scrambled up onto his feet. “You’re the one that I want!” we both sang the chorus as he landed to my right, doing the iconic dance from the scene in the movie, with a thumb hooked in the waist of his pants and swinging his hips to and fro. “Oo-oo-oo, honey, the one that I want!” In a shuffling side-gallop, he passed by in front of me to my other side and repeated the move. “Oo-oo-oo, honey, the one that I want!” Again with the side-gallop, this time behind me, and again with the little jig. I was biting back a smile. Well, at least he was true to his word… he really was making a big idiot out of himself. It was getting harder to stay mad at him. Harder… but not impossible. “Oo-oo-oo, the one I need, oh yes indeed!”

Lea now moved several steps over to his side of the stage, giving me room as the song shifted in preparation for the second verse that I was going to be starting off. I tensed, spine ramrod straight as I recalled what the next lines out of my mouth were going to be. Feeling my blush creeping all the way down to my toes, I wrung the mic in both my hands now as I stiffly brought it back up and squeezed my eyes shut. “If you’re feeling affection,” I wasn’t here, I wasn’t me, “you’re too shy to convey.” No, I was Olivia Newton-John at the school carnival, oozing confidence in a smoking, skin-tight outfit showing off her killer bod. “Meditate in my direction.” Oof, the next part. How did Olivia pull off that breathy purr? Maybe something like, “Feel your way.”

Harsh feedback screeched through the speakers, making my eyes snap back open. Apparently it had come from Lea’s mic, which he was clumsily fumbling to keep from dropping it. Now having it firmly back in grip, he brought it back up in time to croak out, “I better shape up!” He cleared his throat, banging a fist to his chest and now looking a little red in the face. I guess all that prancing around must have been catching up to him. “Cuz you need a man…”

“I need a man who can keep me satisfied,” I sang back, quirking an eyebrow at him.

Whatever his malfunction had been, he was now bouncing back, face brightening as he ran into a knee-slide, stretching a hand up towards me, “I better shape up if I’m gonna prove-”

“You better prove,” I rolled my eyes and shook my head at his antics, “that my faith is justified.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, hopping back up before my voice joined with his, “Yes, I’m sure deep down inside! You’re the one that I want!” The chorus started again and Lea grabbed my hand, catching me off guard and twirling me into a spin. “Oo-oo-oo, honey, the one that I want!” Now he pulled me up against him, flashing me a cheeky grin as one hand wrapped around my waist and the other took hold of mine, mic sandwiched between them. “Oo-oo-oo, honey, the one that I want!” Unable to resist any longer, a laugh bubbled out of me as he swept us around in circles in time with the upbeat music, bringing his mic up between our lips whenever we needed to sing the next line. “Oo-oo-oo, the one I need, oh yes indeed!”

The chorus repeated a couple more times, Lea continuing to dance us about the stage the whole time. Once when I was able to catch a glimpse out into the audience, I even spotted Rayne and Anna busting a move themselves on top of one of the tables, Riku on the ground frantically gesturing for his wife to get down. When the song finally started to fade, the room erupted in applause and whistles. Lea released my waist, but didn’t let go of my hand, instead tugging me towards the edge of the stage. There he raised my arm up high before he bent into a flourishing bow for the adoring fans, pulling me down into one as well. As we both straightened back up, a smile tugged at my lips and I breathed a sigh of relief as my heart rate finally began to calm down.

I’d done it. I’d actually sung in front of all those people and lived to tell the tale. And oddly, I was even... almost kind of giddy about it? It couldn’t be that I’d actually enjoyed that? No. No way. That was just the adrenaline talking as it still coursed through my body which was finally getting to relax now that the danger had passed. I was just happy it was over with! Yeah, that’s all it was. It had to be.

As the bar quieted down once more, Lea returned the mics to their holders before jumping down off the front of the stage and pivoting around to smirk up at me, “Damn, El, why didn’t you tell me you were packing a gorgeous set o’ pipes on you?”

There that blush was again, creeping back up my neck. I gave a soft harrumph, “Stop, I do n-”

I was startled into silence as he picked me up by the waist, my hands hastily going to his shoulders as he lowered me down off the stage and deposited me on the floor beside him.

Okay… so that happened.

“I’m serious!” he pulled his hands back, planting them on his own hips as he hunched forward slightly. “You’re trying to figure out what to do with your life, right? Well, I think we hit a ringer here! Ever consider being a singer?”

I turned my back on him with a snort and walked away, heading towards our booth. “Oh, sure. I’ll just have to hire professional wranglers to drag me kicking and screaming up to the mic for every performance.”

“Oh, c’mon, it wasn’t that bad, was it?” he caught up and fell into step beside me. “You had fun and really got into it, I could tell!”

Only because Lea had been distracting me the whole time. “It doesn’t matter either way, only fools try to make a career out of singing. Do you know how hard it is for most people to make it big in the music industry?”

“Yeah, but most people don’t have a voice like yours.”

I groaned, “Please, can we just drop it?”

“Fine, fine, dropping it,” he raised his hands in surrender. Then, “So… are we friends again?”

I side-eyed him, wrinkling my nose. “...probationally.”

One corner of his mouth twitched upward and he slipped his hands into his pockets. “I’ll take it! And hey, at least something good came outta our lil musical adventure.”

I gave him a questioning look, to which he grinned wider.

“I got to dance with you after all.”

Author's Note: For those who don't know it, the song they sang is called "You're the One That I Want" from the musical "Grease" - a rather problematic musical at that (as I discovered from rewatching the movie while writing this chapter after not having seen the movie in over a decade) but I still love this song and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands xD Also I may or may not have watched 50 (thousand) youtube videos of couples singing this song at karaoke for IMPORTANT RESEARCH reasons before writing up this chapter. I must say, just simply writing the karaoke scene felt almost as mortifying as if I'd actually had to go up on stage and physically sing the damn song myself! I don't normally write songs lyric for lyric in my stories, but I just figured with what an anxious bundle of nerves Elsa is in this story, it was kind of important not to just gloss over and hand-wavy the karaoke. So yeah, I don't usually write singing scenes, but hopefully this one turned out halfway okay? Anyhoo, on another note, Elsa is a lot better at this whole holding-a-conversation thing than she gives herself credit for… once she gets over her crippling anxiety at the very idea of stringing more than two words together! And lastly, I found a way to give Lea both his names in this fic, woooooooo!

Next chapter, this thrilling night out continues! What further adventures in Friday night drinks await our hermit heroine? Is a career in singing ACTUALLY on the table for consideration or will it forever remain a pipe dream? Will Elsa ever perfect her ninja skills, which seriously leave something to be desired currently? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you hit that like button last chapter, seeing that always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

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peaches-of-1 · 5 years

Text

Peachtober | Day 27: Glowing

Warnings: Consensual tentacles, shy Mino, smut, slight mind break, slight hypnotism, cum inflation, incubus, summoning ritual, oral, anal, restricted movement

Citrus scale: Hand of Buddha

It was your last day visiting Korea, and your friends had all wanted to go celebrity hunting at least once a day. So far, you had met a few idols here and there and taken pictures with them, but you weren’t one for actively looking for them. It wasn’t sasaeng stuff, just going to places they had posted about and seeing if they showed up or not.

If they did, it was a win. If not, then you still had some good food and great conversation. Today, you got to choose what kind of place to go hunting, a night club. Specifically for BTS or BigBang’s GD. They were both known to frequent a spot called 마술, and so you went with a few friends to party the night away.

After doing your final touches on your makeup, you, Seongmin, his wife Soohyun, and their friend with a crush on you Changwoo, were headed to the club. It was a nice night out, so you decided wearing your most comfortable pair of heeled ankle boots would be best. Also, you liked to carry light, so no flats. You hoped you would be too drunk to feel your feet in about three or so hours.

At the club, you guys were left outside waiting because the club had “reached capacity” even though the bouncer was still letting in the faces he recognized. You recognized a few even though their faces were sometimes covered in masks.

A group of four guys and three girls entered, and for a moment, you met eyes with the guy in the back wearing gold pants and a blazer. That’s all you could see before you looked away and covered your stomach. You looked so fucking hot, why weren’t you being let inside? You had the confidence to wear a red choker, a red off the shoulder crop top with angel sleeves with a shorter than usual leather skirt and fishnets. Your shoes were a bit darker than your top, but it still went well.

Also, all over your arms and stomach were those metallic tattoos for some extra flair, even though a few sections were starting to chip off already. It had taken HOURS to get your hair braided on the sides to create a cute looking frohawk. You pouted and were about to tell the rest of the crew they should just head to another club.

“You, red and leather and crew, you’ve been allowed in. Don’t cause any trouble.”

None of you asked questions and quickly went in.

“Full capacity, my ass!” Soohyun said.

“Y/N, wanna dance?” Changwoo asked.

You held up a finger, “Lemme get a drink first, and then we dance.”

There were a ton of drinks you didn’t recognize at the bar and there were a bunch of drinks you didn’t recognize. So you picked one and downed it. The lights seemed to get brighter, and the music was perfect for dancing. The man with a crush on you got the same drink and joined you. This was some of the best tasting alcohol you ever tasted. It didn’t feel like it was alcoholic at all.

“Y/N, I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.” my adorable dance partner Changwoo promised.

“Ok!” You said in a chipper voice.

In your movements, you accidentally hit a guy who was in nothing but pants and a fur coat.

You bowed when he growled at you, “I’m showrry.” Then you giggled and reached up on his head, “Can I wear your dog ears, please? I’ll be such a cute puppy.”

He jerked his head back and looked you up and down as he began to advance. What had you done? A man with a gold and black choker got between you two and calmed the situation down before taking you to a place to cool off. Your body felt like it was on fire.

“What’s happn? Feel like sunlight.” You said.

The man chuckled and handed you a small blue sparkly and bubbly vial, “Take this and you’ll feel better.”

“Are you giving me drugs? I don’t DO drugs. Drugs baaadddd.”

“It’s not drugs. I promise. You drank some Faery Nectar and you’re human. This will reverse the effects of the Pollen.” He held you and the vial in different hands.

You tilted your head, “Reverse pollen? Like Nyquil?”

“Uhhh, sure. It’s like Nyquil.”

“Ooooo, ok, gimmie.” You reached your hands out. You took it like a shot and it felt like less powerful Pop Rocks on your tongue.

A few blinks and you slid down on the wall needing to sit for a moment. You reached out for a hand and felt something harder than a normal hand. A slight focus, and it was a set of abs. You pulled your hand back and apologized as the person in front of you did the same.

“...Seems like you’re doing better.” The stranger said.

“Y-yeah. Thank you.” Then you looked at his face. “Mino?”

He smiled, “Yea?” Then he sighed. “That’s what I get for allowing a bunch of mortals in here and not guiding them. Ugh. At least your friends stuck with drinks they had before. Then again, I would mistake you for a Faery, too.”

“Faeries aren’t real, silly. Thanks for the compliment, though.” You said before standing up.

Mino giggled, “You don’t know what this place is, do you?”

You furrowed your brows, “Masul, a nightclub and popular spot to meet idols such as yourself. Or did we take a wrong turn?” You leaned on the wall allowing yourself to return to normal.

“Nah, nah, you’re right, but um. It’s not usually meant for humans…” He said, not making eye contact.

You scoffed, “Did you have too much to drink?”

“Nope. It’s part of the idol process. We are all human when we begin training, but there’s a reason why idols have a certain charm to them. Some of us are Fae or merpeople. Others are infused with unicorn blood or--”

“Lemme guess, vampires?” You moved your fingers in a silly menacing way.

Mino laughed, “Yes, well. Used to, but the blood lust wasn’t turning out well and they often died after their family or significant other found out. However, that strain was replaced with the blood of another highly charming creature confined to myths.”

You folded your arms, “What?”

He looked up at you, “Incubi. Like me.”

You couldn’t help but guffaw at this joke. This had to be a joke. There was no way anyone could actually be part incubus or vamp or whatever he was saying. He was literally wasted. Maybe he had followed in the path of his sunbaes and gotten high. It wouldn’t be too hard in a place like this, would it?

Then you looked up at him. He seemed rather upset and pouty that you were laughing at what he was telling you. Like actually sulking.

“You done?” the idol asked, offended.

“Sorry. Sorry. But like, did you smoke something?”

He looked at you, “I’m serious!”

You decided to entertain this notion, “Ok. Show me.”

“What?” The blonde man asked.

“Show me whatever you are, Mr. Incubus.”

To be fair, based on his outfit, it wouldn’t be surprising. His blazer was wide open, showing a fishnet crop top that had an elastic criss cross right above his belly button. Gold pants and shoes to go along with it. The diamond encrusted gold safety pin earrings and the golden heart lock choker he was wearing went along with it perfectly.

“I can’t...I can’t just whip it out and--and show you.” He stuttered.

From what you remembered from media, incubi were sexual beings. You were in a good mood and had nothing to lose, so you decided to play with him. Flirt a bit.

“What? Am I not sexy enough for you? Or do you need me to be closer?” You sashayed towards him and backed him against a wall.

He closed his eyes and shivered slightly when you trailed your finger down to his belly button piercing and traced his tattoo.

“D-don’t awaken something you don’t know anything about.” Mino said, his breath getting heavy and his pants getting a bit tighter in the front.

You were really making him hard. Did idols really need to get off so badly?

“Or else, what?” You giggled at how much he was trying to hold back and then you let it drop. “I’m going back to the party to find my friends. Some incubus you are.”

“Ya!” He called.

You turned around in the doorway and went to face him, completely weakened by what you saw. His eyes no longer help pupils, no longer human, but instead replaced with pure light. They were legit glowing.

“You can’t just tease me like that and not expect anything to come from it…” He brushed back his hair and closed the door to the hallway you were in. “We have rules. You want me to show you what I got?”

You nodded.

“Speak!” He barked.

“Yes.” You gasped.

Mino smirked and tossed his blazer onto the ground and handed you a golden key. There was no doubt what you were supposed to do. You grabbed the lock and were about to put the key into it when he grabbed your wrist, making you gasp.

“If you do this, there’s no going back. This is your last chance.”

The idol said this, but the glow of his eyes wanted you to keep going. Was it your thoughts or his being forced upon you? Didn’t matter. You unlocked his necklace and he smirked and chuckled at the same time. His body seemed to come alive, no not his body. His clothing. The fishnet unravelled in chunks, the two bottom thick pieces elongating and turning into glistening black tendrils.

They seemed to be glowing from the inside out and wrapped around your arms and before taking off everything you had on. The tentacles wiggled their way underneath and slid them off without Mino moving a muscle. They appeared to be coming from behind him. He left your fishnets and jewelry on.

“Cuz I like roses.” He said when he saw the question in your eyes. “Now, I can’t really control myself in this form, you see. Because it’s early and your first time, I’ll try--emphasis on try-- to take it easy on your body. However, I won’t be able to stop until I’ve completely drained you of sexual energy.”

“Ok~” you said, curious to see where this went.

Mino’s smile got bigger, “Good girl.”

And your body began to become covered in some thick liquidy substance. You started to feel more tingly and you wanted to be filled. You didn’t care by what or how, but you needed it ASAP. Although the secretion hadn’t yet made it between your legs, you could feel yourself dripping and getting more wet there. What was happening to you?

The slippery tentacles wrapped around your legs and spread them. Every part of you was completely bare, and you could feel yourself blushing. You wanted to hide yourself, but Mino wasn’t letting that happen.

“I haven’t even touched down there, and you’re dripping.” He rubbed down there using a thicker tentacle, making you shiver. “Oh, cute. We’re just beginning, and you’re already so sensitive. This is going to be so much fun.”

Two medium sized tendrils wrapped around your breasts and squeezed them. No human could ever make you feel this way. You were struggling to close your legs just because you were so embarrassed, but the transformed idol was holding you in place, making sure to use tiny tentacles to play with your clit. He turned you so that he was just staring at your pussy being toyed with.

You couldn’t tell what face he was making, and so you tried to look at see. However, the smooth glowing tendril hovered in front of your face.

“Open up~”

With little hesitation, you opened your mouth and it slid in. It tasted like you. The taste went farther and farther down your throat. You had never taken anything this impossibly large before. Your gag reflex was repressed by the previous secretions, so it went in smoothly. Tears pricked your eyes as it was getting more difficult to breathe. It began to face fuck you as two small mouth like apendages began to suck on your swelling nipples.

Words faded from your mind as you were turned upside down. Something played with your ass, but you hardly felt it. You were too focused on the luminous eyes in front of you, watching as you slowly but surely lost any sense that was going through your brain before.

The wet sloshing sound of your mouth and his slick black tentacle inside of it turned you on even more and you couldn’t help but think about how much you wanted his growing cock inside of you. He followed your line of sight and started rubbing his crotch.

“You wanna see it?” he asked.

You nodded, unable to speak.

“It’s gonna be different from what you expect. Are you--fuck.” His eyes fluttered for a second. “You just gave me a Surge, pretty girl. Guess I don’t need to ask you again.”

Mino unbuckled his pants and let it drop. It was covered in bumps, not like nasty ones, but like his foreskin had been altered to house beads. Like a dildo but on a human. Well, not exactly a human. Either way, you wanted it inside of you. The way you began squirming. It seemed to have a mind of its own as well as it stretched from his groin to rub against your pussy.

You wanted it. You wanted it so badly. No wait, you were about to--

Mino cooed, “Oh, come for me. I’ll make you come again. I promise you. Please, please, please cum for me.”

You had the best orgasm of your life! Even though you were screaming, all that could be heard were muffled cries as more of your mind leaked out of your pussy. He let you lay out on the floor, your chest heaving and trying to remember what breathing felt like.

He smiled and crouched in front of you, “Is that enough proof for you?”

“Yeah.” You coughed. “Oh fuck.”

The idol brushed his hair back and then stood up, “Ah, I guess I should get one of the security guys to come pick you up. I’m sure--”

You pulled at his nearest and largest tentacle, wrapping your whole body around it. With a cloudy haze of pleasure still floating around your brain and the walking aphrodisiac that is Song Mino still within your grasp, you couldn’t let him go like this.

“You said you were going to make me cum again~” and kissed the dimly glowing appendage. “I have sexual energy to spare, so fuck me more.”

Mino scoffed, “Ok. Alright. I’ll fuck you again and fill you with my cum. How does that sound?”

You shivered at the thought and bit your bottom lip as you nodded and began rutting on the tentacle that went lower and played with your folds. A devious smile crawled upon his lips and said it would be done, but properly this time. He picked you up as well as the clothing you had been wearing that were now just on the hallway floor.

“What do you mean, properly?” You asked, wrapped up by the man’s tentacles.

“You gotta summon me. Give me something in order for this to be fair...official..and to make sure you don’t die afterwards.”

“Make sure I don’t what now?”

He smiled, “Part demon, remember? If I’m not properly paid then your life becomes my reimbursement.”

He brought you into a room that was past all the rooms where erotic screaming and moaning could be heard. Of course an idol club had an area like that. You sat on the black and white canopy bed where he set you down.

“I need some of your hair, can I…?” Mino asked.

You nodded and a tentacle turned into scissors. After doing some strange mixture at the vanity, he handed you a black mix and a photo of an Incubus symbol. You couldn’t exactly tell what was going on, but this was your first encounter with magic like this.

“Draw this on the floor and then read the other side. And then...round two.”

A quick nod and you did as told. The symbol was easy enough, and luckily the chant wasn’t in Latin, just plain English. The symbol lit up on his chest. His eyes turned a fiery blue. A smile on his face.

“Alright, now your soul won’t be damned in Eternal fire. Time to fuck, Mistress~”

He pulled you towards him. You were lifted up once more and the sensation returned. Because you were into it, he took more time in preparing your pussy which was already dripping on the bed. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of a specific area as an appendage wrapped around both of your arms and kept you still. It felt like he was putting something bigger inside of your hole.

Mino was pretty big and to have a tentacle dick like that inside of you, there needed to be preparation. Part of you didn’t even want to be readied and wanted him to plunge deep inside of you to finally--

“You want it that badly, huh?” He made you look into his eyes.

“Y-y-yeah. Ah, yeah. Please. I want. I want it.”

“How rude.” He teased. “Getting yourself off to the thought of my dick without me.”

You shuddered and tried to close your eyes to gain some control, but he wasn’t having it.

The blonde man chuckled, “I guess if you do one thing for me, I’ll make do what you want. I am under your control you know.”

“What?”

“Did I fuck you so much that I made your brain forget how basic summoning works?” Mino teased.

You nodded.

“How cute~” He laughed. “I am yours, Mistress. Any sexual desire you have, I will fill it...and you just say the word.”

“Fuck me now. You can patch me up afterwards. Right now, I want your cock in-inside of me, Mino~”

He smiled, “Can I ask for one thing before I do?”

“Depends…” you said, shuddering and shivering at the sound of his voice and his tentacles starting to spread your legs.

“Kiss me please, Mistress?” The idol tapped his lips as his eyes glowed.

You let him pull you forward and kissed his mouth. It was cut short by his textured tenta-cock thrusting into you and bringing tears in your eyes. You reached out for anything to grab onto. He was there. Mino told you to look at him, and he had regular eyes. You kissed him again as he fucked your pussy which felt like it was melting on his filling dick.

A few smacks on the ass by some smaller appendages followed by human hands squeezing them and then squeezing your breasts as his lips nibbled on your neck. There was not one inch of your body not covered with lubricating slime. All of you inside and out was being pleasured to the utmost as a mouth-like tentacle took the place of Mino’s tongue and explored the inside of your mouth.

Your senses were on fire! And yet you did not want to orgasm yet. The climax was building for sure, but you were just on that edge. That constant edge of wanting to cum, but also wanting to hear him ask for it again.

“Fuck, I’m so close. What’s your name?” He grunted.

“What?”

“Your name. What is it?”

You told him.

Mino smiled as he repeated, “Y/N. That’s beautiful. Oh, Y/N! Oh fuck!”

As gleaming ivory cascaded over shining ebony, you let yourself release as well. Your stomach became distended and absolutely bulbous as he filled you more and more. You...couldn’t...breathe as it even came out of your nose. Your lids got heavy as you began to choke and beg for air.

Losing consciousness, you felt the softness of the bed on your back and glowing eyes returning to human were the last things you saw and felt as your eyes fluttered shut. Maybe it was more than sexual energy that he had taken from you.

“Goodbye, guys!” You hugged your friends as your number was called for the airport. “I had such a great time with you, and I am so sorry for wandering off last night. I’ll be more careful with my drinks. I promise.”

Seongmin giggled, “Just make sure you come back soon so we can do it all over again.”

“We’re just glad you’re safe.”

“I will be back soon. I promise.”

Then you got your ticket punched and got to your seat on the plane, sticking earbuds in and getting ready for a good long nap before layovers. You looked again at the necklace that had been on your finger when you woke up back at your friends’ place. On the couch because they couldn’t carry you any further.

Last night was hazy and you couldn’t remember much except feeling so satisfied. Had you fucked someone in the club? Was it an idol? No...no way, but. The guy in gold stayed in your mind so strongly. Your gut told you it was Mino from Winner, but why would he ever do anything with a pleb like you?

The ring in question was that of an octopus or squid, no body, simply tentacles. A silver tentacle ring with a golden key in your skirt pocket.

A hand tapped your shoulder and a man in a black mask looked down and asked, “Can you sit up? I’m sitting next to you.”

And you swear on your life, his eyes glowed.

If you know who made these gifs, let me know. I tried to find the creators but had no luck in backtracing. Even when I clicked the link, it didn’t tell me who they belong to. I’d really like to credit them. (Or replace them if they don’t want them being used)

#Song Mino #Winner #Reader Insert #Reader x Mino #Mino x Reader #Y/N #(Y/N)#마술 #Peachtober #Inktober #Day 27 #tentacles #exophillia #hand of buddha

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pastelraes-blog · 5 years

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Bitch Why Are You Like This: meeting Miss & Daddy (Jan 22)

A picture of me looking at me during the entire evening.

Starring: Daddy, Miss and a bitch (that's me!)

i've been thinking about my meeting with Miss and Daddy. Before that very moment, i have never felt young. Truly young - innocent, energetic, inexperienced, requiring guidance, in-over-my-head. Ever. Welcome to childhood, bitch.

Miss is fucking amazing. Although intense, she embodies the person i want to be. There's a quiet strength about her, a self-assurance, and she's beautiful. When the hostess pointed her out, i was quite sure i'd die before ever reaching the table. But here i am. Still living. While sitting at the table i marveled at how blessed i felt. Do i know what the fuck i'm doing? No. Do i know what i'm getting myself into? Hell no. But i trust in the experience Miss has, her thorough questioning, and deliberate actions.

For a moment, i wondered about sex trafficking. Atlanta is the sex trafficking hub of the nation, and to get women, sex traffickers often recruit other women. Because girls/women feel safer with and trust women more than men. With reason. But i requested to see and talk to her and Daddy was kind enough to let that happen.

And then in comes Daddy. i doubted He was real but He sure as fuck is, and boy do i feel little. It's not something i've ever experienced in my life. And i like it a lot (question mark?). i was pretty sure i was going to fuck some shit up and fuck some shit up i did. He told me to ask Him a question. i didn't feel i deserved to ask a question and quite frankly i was suffering from slight sensory overload and i didn't have a question to ask. Every question i had left my mind the moment He asked. Somehow, i found one - something about my age. i don't remember what i asked or His answer. i do remember getting comfortable and asking another question. He leans forward and says, "What part of one question do you not understand?" and i respond, "the one part." 🤦🏽‍♂️ Internally, i was yelling at myself to shut the fuck up.

And then He looked at me.

He looked *into* me

and i fell

When i was 4 or 5 or 6 (who the fuck knows honestly) my mother took me and my sister (who was 2 or 3 or 4) to a pool. i could somewhat swim but knew i should never cross 4 feet deep. Keeping this in mind, i jumped in the pool. And then i started drowning; the '4 feet' pool marker was missing and i thought i was jumping into 3 feet water. As i drowned, there was no panic. i felt no discomfort. i remember being surrounded by light blue waves. Looking up to see the sun shining through the water. i was at peace. There was no sound, there was no disturbance. And then i closed my eyes.

And when i opened them i was staring into Daddy's.

*still*

There's a common descriptor phrase - looking like a deer in headlights - and i have had the terribly unfortunate opportunity to witness this in reality in the passenger seat of my grandfather's jeep speeding toward a deer at 50 miles per hour.

and i am the deer

and the deer is me

drowning in water

over four feet deep

with eyes staring into Daddy's

Eventually i look away. And to mask my terror - that i could feel the depth of those experiences, i do the worst possible thing i could do in the moment: i look back at him defiantly & *i get smug*. And when i return my attention to Miss, i am smiling. Daddy asks Miss if i have signed the waiver yet and he says to get that done *as soon as possible*

A bitch is in trouble .

Should i be terrified for my life? Should i try to suck His ****? Who knows 🤷🏾‍♂️ (lxlzkzkzjkzjzb why am i like this! 😳🤣). Fuck Twilight AND ESPECIALLY fuck its fanfic 50 Shades, but Bella. Sweetie. If this is how you felt when Eddy-boy stared at you, i understand and im sorry for ever doubting you.

The night goes on. Daddy pours his coffee in a very particular manner. i am very thankful for Miss. They work well together. A perfect balance. She asks about me staring down Daddy and asks if i wanted to or felt like i should look away. Hell yeah i wanted to look away. i felt like i should look away. i wanted desperately to look away. i couldn't. And then it felt like maybe i shouldn't look away? Like what was this Man thinking i wondered. And when i caught myself looking i realized i kinda didn't want to stop? A bitch is a brat. Why do i poke the Lion? i don't knoooww 😭. Miss says she can't imagine me being submissive and that hurts a lot.

And of course in typical fashion of one who emotes (?) dramatically, i begin to cry. Because being smug is a defense mechanism. Bucking authority is another. i have had to puff myself up and build up walls and be hard for so long to *survive* and i don't want to be like that anymore. It's not me. i didn't have a childhood. i've always felt impossibly old. At 10, i raised my siblings for four years while momma went to college. because making 6k a year aint shit with 4 kids. At 14 when she finished, she wanted her role and her power back, but the children didn't recognize her as momma. And she hated it. It was a constant power struggle. To me she was irrational, led by the heart and prone to overreaction. Her favorite punishment aside from capital punishment was to take away everything i cared about at any moment *because she could*. So i became smug. *Because fuck you.*

Fast forward 4 years when i finally get to college and shit aint much better. i'm in an environment i wasn't ready for academically. The learning curve was exponential with a slope asymptote to infinity (undefined). That joint is a straight line lol. People are mad racist, dudes are mad sexist, the black people super rich and i'm slipping into depression. When i took a break from school last semester, i learned the traits i picked up - the way i operate in groups/the constant fight - don't work in other environments. It's dangerous to myself and it hurts others. And i don't want to be like that anymore. this is what i've had to do to survive all my life and it's ugly and it's not me.

i'm done with surviving. i want to thrive. i want to *live*. i want to submit desperately, i just don't know how. i'm tired of being defiant and smug and provoking because it's not me. i care so deeply for people, and i struggle because my face, my words, and my attitude are incongruent. When shit is bad, and i mean real bad, i smile and laugh. Not because something is funny or amusing - i smile because it isn't. i guess i started smiling cuz that's much simpler than bursting into tears. And these behaviors are habits i desperately want to break. my life has been fight after fight and resistance and war. i've made it so i would not submit to the negative forces in my life, but now i don't know how to accept the good. and that's why it hurts me so much when i smile at Miss or stare down Daddy when i would truly love not to be.

i was sure after that fiasco i'd never hear from them again. i failed so epically at something i know myself to be. regardless of the tears (because i definitely cried more last night), i am so thankful for that one opportunity to be in the presence of Miss and Daddy. The experience allowed me to gaze intently at those very ugly behaviors that i didnt truly recognize until last night. i left feeling like i failed a lot. But that failure was good because it was necessary. i'm now one step closer to knowing the person i am and transforming into the person i want to be.

Miss told me to look up what submission means and give ten examples of when i have ever done that in my life. For a moment i was quite terrified because i don't think i have ever submitted to someone or something without resistance first.

Submission - the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person; an act of surrendering to a hold by one's opponent; humility; meekness

Okay the '10 examples' activity is super hard because i see now i've been the bitch reluctant to listen and follow. people must loved me to put up with this shit. Jesus take the wheel.

i still don't think i'm off the hook. i live on the hook. i am the worm 😂. i'm super disappointed in myself, but my love for myself has not changed. i'm really proud of myself for taking the chance and putting myself out there and meeting people who i fantasize about binding me, dragging keys down my back until i bleed, whipping my *****, leaving marks/bruises and other normal shit like calling me hideous degrading names and looking at me in ways that make my entire being quiver. If we're being 300,000% truthful, though i didn't intend to fuck up, the intensity of those moments, the acute embarrassment i felt, the topic of conversation in that public environment is something i truly enjoyed and if given the chance to experience it again i definitely would. ☺️

Eventually i'll ask Miss about her role because she's Daddy's sub but i have to pass her first to get to Daddy. Does that mean one day she's going to hand me off and i don't get to have her as Miss anymore 😢? i'm going to enjoy things as they are and take them as they come. Because i like Daddy & Miss a lot 🤷🏾‍♂️

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fleurie3am15inspo · 5 years

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Merry Christmas Peteyypie!

Hey there! @peteyypie 😄 You can call me Fleurie and I'm your Secret Santa! I really hope you enjoy this little fic cuz I did my best ^-^ and I really hope that you have the best Christmas this year! 😇 maybe we can be friends? Well, without further ado, I present to you

Serendipitous Duet

Setting: Queens High School

The bell rings and a young lady sleeping on her desk jolts awake with a snort. She covers her mouth with her hand and scans the room for any laughs at her mishap. There weren't any.

Mentally sighing, she grabs her book bag and leaves the classroom. Once again, she was invisible. Moving tended to be like that; the new girl was the most popular kid in school for a week, then once the novelty wore off it's almost as if she's never existed. It made finding friends a bit of a challenge.

But when she did…

“Alice!”

She smiled, she had known that voice anywhere. “Hey, Peter.”

When she did, she knew she had a best friends. Peter bounded out of a nearby classroom and swung his arm over Alice.

“What's new, Alley Cat?”

“Don't you dare-”

“Whooooaaaahhh!” Peter sang with a big goofy grin on his face. Several students turned his way but that smile never left his face. Alice giggled and playfully shoved him away.

“Save it for the stage, nerd. You're putting Tom Jones to shame.”

Puffing out his chest proudly he replies, “Au contraire, I happen to think I sound like a nightingale. And Aunt May thinks I sound like an angel.”

“She's your aunt, she has to love your voice,” Alice says. They made their way out of the high school and towards the bus area. Alice regularly commuted to school while Peter had his own modes of transportation. It was strange considering she had never seen him with a car. “So, you excited for the concert?”

“Actually, I was just about to ask you the same thing.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, “Have you reconsidered doing the show? I mean, it is for a grade.”

“I can always redo it in Ms. Cooper’s office later. I'm only in it to sing, not to perform. It's just not really my thing, y’know?”

“I know, it's just that it won't sound the same without you there.”

“Yeah,” she scoffed, “it'll sound better.”

“That's not true and you know it,” a mild look of annoyance flashed across his face but quickly disappeared. “You sound great, Alice. If you're scared, then I'll help you.”

“Don’t you already have enough on your plate? With the engineering team, college courses, applications, and wherever the heck you disappear to all the time?” My bus was already pulling up to the school. Kids were trying to pack themselves in there like sardines. I swallowed a grimace and turned back to Peter. “Thanks for the offer, but I really don't know.”

“Well, let me know if you change your mind. I'll be here. I'll make time for you. I promise.”

The line was moving forward, “Thanks, Pete. I'll give you a call later.”

“See ya!”

That was two weeks ago. Now, upon the eve of the concert, Alice was second, third, and even fourth guessing her decision. All she could think about was how she even agreed to participate in the stupid Christmas concert in the first place.

But it was Peter who asked her to. He didn't force her. He wanted her there. And somewhere along the line, she had found herself wanting the same thing. She wanted to perform. She wanted to be up there. For him. With him…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During the Christmas season, schools across the country often put on small concerts for the community. They usually showcased what the art departments had been working on with their students. The orchestra and drill teams had already performed the Thursday before, now it was time for the choir.

Despite her teasings, Peter had a really nice voice. It's just friendship 101 to pretend otherwise. The choir director tried hard to not pick favorites, but who could resist Peter? With his boyish charm and happy go lucky attitude, it would be a mistake to not have him front and center.

Even with getting assigned more solos than anyone else, or the constant praise, he stayed humble. And Alice really admired that about him. On her first day of class, she didn't get to talk to him much. Everyone was swarming her with questions like ‘where was she from’ or ‘why does she have an accent’ (She didn't, for the record. Everyone upstate had one. As far as she was concerned, she was normal.) Just standard new kid interrogation. Class had begun, humming gently into the opening notes of the carol “Hark the Herald Angels Sing”. She was instructed to stand in the back and follow along, chiming in when she felt comfortable.

Alright. Time for the judge fest.

Alice loved to sing. The only problem was that her voice didn't quite fit in. Alone, she sounded wonderful. But in a group, she stood out. Imagine a piccolo and a French horn section. Technically, they could play a melody in harmony, but the piccolo stood out. And sometimes standing out wasn't a good thing. At least not in her experiences.

She could already feel the stares.

About halfway through the first verse, she noticed a pair of brown eyes peeking back at her from the front row a few times. It was Peter. Every so often, he'd look back and flash her a smile or a quick thumbs up. A small gesture, but an encouraging one all the same.

After class, he had to speak with the director so she didn't get a chance to talk to him. The next day, though, he was waiting for her. It was another challenging session, but his little thumbs up made her feel better. He had even thrown in exaggerated lip syncing for the fun of it.

He introduced himself as Peter and invited Alice to sit with him and his friends at lunch. MJ and Ned were nice kids, but Peter was special.

He was always ready to lend an ear and offer a few words of advice. No matter how busy he was, he always made time for his friends when they needed him. And if you were feeling down, that boy would do anything to see you smile again. Sure, there were times he would randomly disappear for hours on end, but he never pried into her life so she never pried into his. He was there for her when she needed him, and that's what mattered most.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But now that the day was here, whether she knew it or not, she was going to need him more than ever.

Alice pulled back the curtains just a crack. The auditorium was filled to the brim. The rows were filled with family members, friends, and even some random people just looking for a way to get out of the cold. Alice spotted Peter's Aunt May sitting near the front. MJ and Ned were sitting off to her left.

Alice dropped the fabric and backed away, feeling for a wall behind her. She sunk down to her knees and began rocking back and forth. This didn't go unnoticed by Peter, who was by her side in an instant.

He grabbed her hands, “Alice! What's going on?”

She kept rocking back and forth, refusing to meet his gaze, “I can't do it, Peter. I just can't. I can't go out there.”

“It's just a little bit of stage fright,” he reassured, “You're going to do great. We've been practicing this for weeks. You know it all by heart and your voice is incredible.”

“They're going to hate it,” she cried, tears threatening to fall.

“They're going to love it,” Peter insisted, “and if they don't, then it's their loss. You have so much talent, it needs to be shared with everyone.”

“This was a bad idea..! Everyone knows I can barely fit in with the rest of the group. I'll just embarrass myself by going on by myself.”

“Maybe you weren't meant to fit in. Did you think of that? You are your own person, your own voice. I know you don't believe me, but your voice is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. You can do this.” he brings her hands up to his face and kisses them in reassurance, “I believe in you.”

Before she can comprehend what just happened, all singers are ushered on to the stage and up on the mini stands. The curtain rises and the director makes a bow before turning to her students. Peter sneaks a glance back at Alice with a small nod. She takes a deep breath and joins in the a capella version of Do you hear what I hear. So far so good. Then onto Hark the Herald Angels Sing. Ehh...she'd tone it down a notch. Angels we have heard on high. Wait. What was going on? Little Drummer Boy. Get it together!

With every new song, however, Alice found her anxiety and stage fright worsening. So much so that she had essentially just stopped singing all together. No amount of smiles or hidden thumbs up could snap her out of it. Almost as if she was in a daze. The director's announcement of the final selection was merely a muffled noise and someone had to help her off the stands and lead her to the front.

O Holy Night

Wait! We're doing this already?!

The stars are brightly shining.

A million thoughts run through her head. Most of self doubt. She turns back to see Peter standing in the front row, his eyes yearning to stand by her. Yearning to hold her. But there is also hope. He will not give up on her. And she was not ready to let him down.

But one look at the crowd, and she could remember nothing. Her solo was coming up fast. Less than five lines away.

Fall on your knees

Four.

Oh hear the angel voices

Three.

Oh night divine

Two.

Oh night when Christ was born

One.

Oh night divine, oh night, oh night divine

She opened her mouth to sing, but nothing came out. The choir couldn't stop. They kept singing their instrumental parts. The chorus was being lost. Alice began to panic. She couldn't sing anything. She had already begun scanning the stage for an exit when a gentle voice broke through her worries.

“I'm right here with you,” Peter whispered. Against the director's instructions, he had left the stands and joined Alice at the front of the stage. He took a breath and continued the verse.

“Sweet hymns of joy/In grateful chorus raise we…”

Peter slipped his hand into hers, squeezing it tightly as if to reinforce his presence. A message that he wouldn't leave her.

Alice began to tear up, but not of fear. But of relief. And happiness. Taking a deep breath, she gripped his hand in return and joined him. Their voices matching in perfect sync. In harmony.

Maybe this song wasn't meant for a duet. But maybe, maybe I wasn't meant to sing alone

Merry Christmas Peteyypie! 😇🎄🎁📖

#secret santa #peter parker #fanfiction #peter x oc #merry christmas

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filmfreak1994 · 6 years

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Change the Channel

A lot of people have been talking about their experiences with Channel Awesome in the wake of the 60+ page document released by Allison Pregler and several other former content creators for Channel Awesome. I figured I might throw my own experience with the site and its people (mostly Doug) too while the topic is relevant, even considered dusting off the old camera I got for Christmas to film a video but allergy season is upon us and I’m coughing up my lungs so the written word it is.

I was a frequent user of YouTube in the early days of its inception, mostly to look up viral videos and just go on a stream of pointlessness for hours on end with each recommended vid in the sidebar (mostly consisting of parodies to Star Wars, LotR, and entire Simpsons episodes uploaded before the great purge of early 2008). In all that time between 2006 and 2007, reviewers like the Angry Video Game Nerd and The Nostalgia Critic eluded me. I saw plenty of the 5 Second Movie clips and thought they were hysterical but didn’t even make the connection that they were made by a “Nostalgia Critic” until around the end of 2009, when a friend of mine at school told me to look up NC’s review of Sonic the Hedgehog (the weird TV show and the futuristic evil Jim Cummings one). I finally gave in which led me to watching some of his other, recent reviews like the “Star Wars Holiday Special” which was freaking hysterical (and still brings a warm smile to my face just thinking about it). By the time the new year rolled around and I had discovered That Guy With The Glasses I was hooked.

For a while I stuck to watching reviews on YouTube when fans would rip them from the main site, but decided to eventually support the site itself where I mostly stuck to NC videos but also watched content from the other producers when it interested me; Spoony and his Final Fantasy reviews, Linkara and any comic with a subject material I was familiar with, Marzgurl and her Don Bluth retrospective, so on and so forth. Like many other people, I wasn’t keeping up with every producer’s videos weekly like I was with NC, but when I decided to watch something else their content was worth it, being funny and informative all at once, even creating new branches of my interest and giving me new perspectives on media criticism.

I watched Nostalgia Critic religiously every week and, sorry to say, started to take his opinion as gospel, and the opinions of other reviewers as well, treating certain movies and shows as bad just because they said so and didn’t have an opinion for myself for the longest time. It was when I started to pay attention to Doug Walker himself and his philosophy that you should like what you like and every movie is a miracle that I started to chill out and even disagree with his opinions at times (I remember his “Little Nemo” review made me seek out that movie and I actually quite enjoyed it).

TGWTG was a formative site for me in my high school years, developing much of my sense of humor and how I look at movies. I watched all the anniversary specials, started to watch a greater portion of producers that included Lindsay and Kyle’s more analytical reviews and Brad Jones’s and Matthew Buck’s mix of cynicism and snark with genuine analytical praise and criticism. I even started to look at music critics like Paw or Todd even though I can’t judge music for shit (if it has a catchy beat I’ll more or less dig it, I’m not picky). I always imagined when I moved out for college (yeah, how’d that work out for ya, younger me) that I would start my own review series in the vein of these online personalities and even be picked up for the site where I too could join in on the anniversary movies and have a swell time and make friends with the people I looked up to and have a good time filming huge crossover events with them (in hindsight I can only imagine what role Doug would have me play in them, if I was even deemed important to be in them at all). Whenever people criticized the anniversary movies I just shrugged it off and said, “Yeah, they’re dumb, but I like em anyway,” and when rumors starting going around about some upside down crucifixion going on I shrugged them off as just rumors (and to be fair it wasn’t upside down but the real thing isn’t much better).

Anyway, around the time when To Boldly Flee came I enjoyed the movie a lot (I only saw it the once and I was eighteen, eighteen-year-old me and present me don’t get on anymore) and thought it was a bittersweet conclusion to The Nostalgia Critic but was excited to see what new projects Doug and the company would do after its conclusion. Plus the other contributors still had their content to keep TGWTG going strong into the foreseeable future. At least I thought.

I didn’t hate Demo Reel, but I didn’t like it all that much either. I only caught around a few episodes before losing interest, saying I’d get back into it eventually but never going out of my way to see them. By accounts they got better as they went along and I was interested in the episode that paid tribute to Elizabeth Hartman (which I think is the same episode that had Mara Wilson and Arin Hanson? I might be wrong (I didn’t even know who Arin was at the time but hindsight is 20/20)), but I just put off watching them until, oh look, NC’s back. At the time I thought this was interesting, there was plenty he could still do with the character given his new ground rules and the emphasis on skits gave the show a different tune that I felt, at the time, kept it fresh from what it was before. I missed the simplicity of the earlier reviews but I happily stuck with the NC again, as well as the same creators I’d happily watched before and plenty more I started to watch like Phelous (around the time he did that weird Aladdin meets Pagemaster movie, I used to rent that from Hollywood Video all the freaking time).

It was around this tumultuous time that Doug actually kinda started to annoy me. Never to the point where I stopped watching NC, but he sort of seemed to forget his whole “Like what you like,” message and outright attacked fans who disagreed with him. Certain jokes in his reviews rubbed me the wrong way (if Irate Gamer can’t get away with blowing up Ubisoft cuz they wouldn’t let him into a conference, you can’t get away with pretending to blow up Happy Madison just because they make shit movies) and he had a general vindictiveness to those who liked movies like “Man of Steel” or “The Lorax” that just seemed mean spirited and not a funny little video meant to entertain (though I guess the signs were always there like when he added in a dig at “Avatar” in his “Conan” review for no reason). But by and by he seemed to mellow out (no doubt dealing with problems letting go of Demo Reel and how big a success he thought it would be) and I still watched his stuff, including the vlogs he did with Rob regarding “Avatar” (the good one, hey I did it too!), “Korra,” “Adventure Time,” and any recent movie that came out. I started to agree with them less and less but they were still entertaining guys and I liked what they were doing.

Some of the shadier stuff going on at the site more or less flew over my head. The game show they did was pretty much “Demo Reel” part two for me in how much interest I had in it and that faded from public consciousness pretty quickly, and it was around the time the site switched from TGWTG to just Channel Awesome that a real shift began to become more noticeable. People were leaving. People I may not have watched all the time, but they were leaving, often times unannounced and seemingly unprovoked (because quite a few of them were). I read about what happened to Allison, aka Obscurus Lupa, who I had watched on and off again and thought that was pretty shitty, and got a general grasp that the management of CA itself wasn’t very good from what she and Lindsay alluded to (or just straight up said, they really should’ve had some NDAs if they cared so much about how they look) in some posts on Tumblr or Twitter but I still carried on watching NC and the other creators on the site mostly because I just figured what every fan figured at the time, Doug was mostly innocent and it was Michaud and Rob who were the real strings behind big decisions like who stays and goes (I liked Rob fine, but even back then I knew he could be kind of an ass).

More and more people from the classic era of TGWTG were leaving or not producing as much for the site as they did and that was a shame. CA was never what TGWTG felt like to me, even if the purpose was to put more focus on the other producers (supposedly (hell, TGWTG did a way better job of featuring producers in my opinion even if it wasn’t perfect)). But whatever, I carried on every Tuesday watching NC, watching other creators when their stuff interested me, but it still wasn’t quite the same as before, and I had become more aware of the general bad experience most people had filming the anniversary movies even if the full extent of that didn’t come until a few days ago.

It was really when Lewis announced that he had left and I found the Change the Channel hashtag that I started to take notice of these stories, finding plenty of them on my own from the links to Twitter conversations many of the former contributors were having before reading them on the Google doc. I was torn, wondering if I should boycott NC with all that I had read and decided to make it a temporary one until the doc came out and to see if he or CA would provide a statement. Well, the doc came out and the apology not long after. And yeah, I moved it to a permanent ban after that bullshit.

I’ve given up watching people I loved before, JonTron and his racist bullshit was the last straw in supporting anything he did, and even with the Me Too movement I’ve given up any kind of support for people like Kevin Spacey who I used to love as an actor (now it’s pretty easy to see how he was able to play such scumbag villains over and over again). I know Doug isn’t a Nazi or Nazi sympathizer, and to my knowledge he hasn’t used his position to sexually take advantage of anyone (though he has turned a blind eye to others doing the same and the same can’t be said for taking advantage of people in other ways), but I just couldn’t watch stuff directly made by him and for Channel Awesome with all this information. It wouldn’t be right, even with an adblocker.

I don’t mean to threaten the livelihood of people on his team like Malcolm or Tamara, I like them a great deal and they’re very talented, heck I even enjoyed the skits on NC a lot more than most because of them (and Rachel, she was great too). But I said to myself until an actual apology is listed and some form of action is taken to truly better the site, I wouldn’t watch them. Others have suggested and I have thought the same, that the best thing to do would be to fire Michaud, though I realize this would create a slew of problems given that he owns the IP for NC and is the founder of CA. Still, some form of acknowledgement from the Walkers would go a long way to bettering the public response to all this. More and more contributors have left in the wake of this document, either out of fear for their own image or to show solidarity with the many complaints levied toward the site (and their reasons are completely valid no matter what, they’re trying to make a living), looking at the site today it’s practically a ghost town. I don’t blame those that have stayed for anything, but the reputation of CA is tarnished and at this point, especially with that piss-poor “apology,” it’s going to take several huge leaps to get it back.

I realize the purpose of Change the Channel was never to create a boycott of NC or any of the Walker’s content, at least by the majority of those who contributed to the docs, and those who choose to boycott do so of their own volition. Well, that’s my volition. No matter how much NC shaped my sense of humor in my younger years and inspired me to look at movies critically myself, I can’t deny the damage that Doug and Rob have been complicit in nor turn a blind eye to the shady practices they, Michaud, and past executives on the site have done.

I really do wish that what was seemingly apparent in front of the camera, that this was a site filled of talented people who were also good friends having a good time, was true behind the scenes as well. People have been hurt, assaulted, taken advantage of, and tossed aside when they were no longer useful to the site. It’s not right, and I’m literally changing the channel until actual change is made.

#Channel Awesome #The Nostalgia Critic #Doug Walker #Rob Walker #Mike Michaud #ChangetheChannel #an explanation of my thoughts on NC as a whole #and why I'm boycotting him until further notice

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realdeadlovin · 3 years

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Well, that didn’t go as expected.

There’s a lot I could say about Sophie and Camille and therapy and such but.

Most recently, Brian told me about his flirtation with tinder person. It feels bad and I wish it didn’t. Monogamy/ non monogamy is so weird and like, so... hypocritical, like I wouldn’t think twice about flirting with someone here if it felt good but somehow envisioning Brian doing it is like “how could you’??? when you tell me you love me??” and I mean I don’t actually feel that way or like doubt that he loves me but can’t help feeling a bit like betrayed and/or like... misled, but I also misled myself. He told me felt weird about stuff with the tinder person but he also sort of portrayed it as like not tha tmuch of a thing, or like he wasn’t that into them but just felt weird since he met them on tinder when it def sounds like he has fed into the flirtation // felt it more than he conveyed. but I also get that and I don’t feel like mad mad. I think brian maybe has a bit of a leading--on problem. but also like who doesn’t like flirting and cuddling with new people? yeah anyways. I wish it didn’t feel as bad as it does, and like I can sense in myself the feeling of like, “well maybe lets just call off the whole thing” which is totally irrational and also coexisting with feelings like wanting to tell him he’s too dramatic for saying that maybe he “fucked this up” and I want to tell him he’s being too dramatic, like this isn’t going to end just over him flirting with someone, while at the same time part of me is like “weeeelllll it’s been a good run, time to accept it’ll never work....”

but I mean, I definitely don’t actually think I’m going to end things over this at all, but it’s sort of that feeling of like, when my alarm goes off and I’m like “ you know what, I’ll just sleep in and neve show up to work and like not tell anyone, I’ll just quit my job and block eveones numbers, I’m just gonna walk away frmo this job and neve tell anyone because it’ll feel THAT good to just go back to sleep.” like you know you aren’t gonna do it. I know I’m not ending things over this. but what it DOES bring up is... just the general weirdness of thsi situation where we are professing our love to each other so often and feeling so like ~in love~ but, we aren’t together~ and we can’t be/ shouldn’t be. not can’t in a dramatic way but like neither of us want that and I know it wouldn’t work. ULTIMATELY and like generally I have felt okay with like “yeah, things will end eventually, (either when one of us starts dating someone else, or when idk one of us wants to actually make it official/ serious and move to the same place and the other one says that won’t work and it ends, or when it just gets too painful or one of us stops having feelings or...) and when that happens it’ll suck, but I can accept that and right now it feels good and life is SHORT and I feel good just letting us have as much time being sweet and loving each other as we can get out of htis, why end it prematurely? “ yeah... that’s how I’ve been feeling. but I realize that this sort of situation does make it like, harder to withstand the hardness because what are we fighting to preserve? all this is is ~feeling good~, it’s not commitment, so why stick with it when it feels bad? and this sort of *feeling bad*, when its just like about some text flirting, isn’t going to end it, but just realizing like... as much as I really want to work on feeling more comfortable with non monogamy... will any sort of like emotional difficulty feel worth it with brian, or are the conditions such that it will just feel like “well fuck it we had a good run, but this isn’t fun anymore so bye” ? and does that feel unhealthy? I don’t know. I guess the question it, how much effort/ fight am I willing to put in to maintain whateve it is we have now? what if i enter into an actual relationship, one that wasn’t monogamous, would brian be something I would want to preserve? err I mean that feels sooo theoretical and hard to imagine but thats just yeah what I’ve been thinking about. is how this sort of happy go lucky “who cares where things are headed /// I know things will end eventually // but it feels good for now” just really begs the questions of how to react when things don’t feel purely good, and like.... blah, I want to be in a relatinoship where I’m signed up to do that work, to push through the difficult, and not that brian and I never deal with hard things, we obviously do, but yeah.

ummm OK. but yeah . other observations. I deeefinitely reach for the sunstances when bad feelings happen. It doesn’t even feel necessarily like “oh these are feelings I can’t handle, it’s more just like... teh substances are there in my life anyways, so might as well use them when I’m feeling especially off. or whatever. like tonight didnt feel like, oh this would *trigger* me if I were sober but lik e”agh emotional stress wheres the beer” ya know.

and I just like, yeah, the codependence, I mean maybe thats not the right word, but the like... I told him I didn’t want to talk but now im like why hasn’t he texted meeee and checking my phone constantly. it feels like both bc I’m emotionally wrapped up but also more just like, precedent, I expect a text back quickly and yeah.

ok I am rereading our texts and like they def have been misleading... k i just texted them>

Blah i mean idk I do feel a lil misled or like even just rereading texts now its like idk. You convey it as like. Idk like it's only weird bc u met on tinder not bc there's active talk about cuddling. Er idk like are u leading them on or just concealing your feelings to me like it's hard to tell the diff ? Blah but ultimately I don't want it to be a big deal but it's also hard to deal with jealousy feelings when the communication is also unclear and confusing which I also remember being a thing in the before times, it's hard both like having jealous which I don't like feeling but also having to do the work if like figuring out what's actually going on, you're like having guilt but not really actually telling me what's going on. But yea then it's also confusing cuz it's like we're not even together or whatever .... Etc

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surrealredmoon · 6 years

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Gaming AU - Sleepless Night

Soooo.... hey guys! Now that life is starting to chill a little I’ve found myself wanting to write again (yay \o/). Here’s a little something for the Gaming AU that was inspired by some very sleepless nights I’ve had recently. It’s set in the time before everyone met in person and before Weiss and Yang really began to hit things off. Anyway... ENJOY!

Weiss lay on top of her bed, staring at the patterns of moonlight filtering in through the open curtains onto the ceiling. Briefly, she glanced away to look at the clock on her bedside table, 2:45am. She’d been laying there for a good three hours now, her mind once again unable to switch off and let her get the rest she so desperately needed right now.

Sighing to herself, Weiss sat up. Well if her mind wasn’t going to let her rest, she may as well do something semi-productive… well semi-productive to her at least. She was sure her father would be shocked and appalled if he ever realised that his youngest daughter was exactly that type of person that made his business so successful.

Monitors blazed to life as she hit the power button on the PC, bathing the room in blue before the home screen loaded up. It didn’t take long before the all too familiar log in window popped up and the theme music began to play through her headphones. Quickly, Weiss entered her details and began loading in on Myrtenaster.

Once she’d loaded in though, she sat back and stared at the screen. She hadn’t actually considered what she wanted to do to try and pass the time. She opened up the Looking for Group list, scanning through each of the different game modes to see if there were and active groups, even though that wasn’t very likely given the time. She’d finally found a couple of groups looking for one of the high-end adventures and was about to join one when a whisper message popped up in the chat box.

(whisper from) Ember Celia: so… cant sleep again?

Weiss raised her eyebrow. What was Ember doing up at this time? And more importantly, how did she know that this wasn’t the first time she’d logged on when the insomnia made it clear she wasn’t going to get any sleep that night?

(whisper from) Ember Celia: ello?

(whisper from) Ember Celia: I knw u didnt fall asleep at ur desk cuz u jst logged on

Weiss rolled her eyes, even as a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips, and typed a quick reply.

(whisper from) Myrtenaster: You know, it’s getting harder and harder to believe that you’re not stalking me when you say things like that.

She could almost hear the chuckle and teasing tone in Ember’s response.

(whisper from) Ember Celia: well I dnt normally show as online this late

(whisper from) Ember Celia: stops the weirdos messaging me :P

Weiss’ small smile turned into a frown, concern growing in her that perhaps she might not be the only member of their guild who suffered from insomnia.

(whisper from) Myrtenaster: Are you often online this late? Or is this a one-off for you?

It took at little while for the response to come through, so Weiss began to reorganise her inventory while she waited.

(whisper from) Ember Celia: I guess probs more often thn I shld

(whisper from) Ember Celia: bt nt as often as u I bet

(whisper from) Ember Celia: btw Im runnin round doin sum gatherin n events if u wanna join

A party invite popped up on Weiss’ screen a moment later and she accepted. At least this would give her something to do, and it would be nice to just casually chat with someone. Even if that someone had a tendency to infuriate her most of the time. She opened up her map, found the marker indicating the location of her party member and began making her way over.

Ember Celia: so whts got u up so late?

She took a moment to decide whether or not she wanted to open up to her guild mate about what had been causing her so much trouble recently as she cleared out some Grimm that had crossed her path. Eventually, she decided to hold off revealing too much; after all, even though she’d been playing with her current guild mates for almost a year now she’d never dared to reveal anything about herself aside from the fact that she was from Atlas.

Myrtenaster: Oh just stressed about school work and such. All those normal young adult things.

Myrtenaster: What about you?

Myrtenaster: Actually, don’t tell me, I’ll guess. You probably have a report due tomorrow, but instead of focussing on an important assignment you thought it would be far more productive to play instead.

‘Dammit Weiss! This is why they call you the Ice Queen…’ Weiss sighed. ‘Ember hasn’t done anything except offer you some company and express some concern. But noooo… you couldn’t let your stupid walls down for one minute.’

She had just typed her response of “I’m so sorry Ember, that was out of line.” at the same time a response came through.

Ember Celia: Myrtenaster, when was the last time you actually slept? For like a whole night.

Before the irrational part of her brain could take Ember’s comment as an insult the rational side noticed the change in their writing style. The fact that Ember had put the effort in to use correct grammer, something they rarely did… much to Weiss’ distain, seemed to imply genuine care on the other gamer’s part. Weiss found herself in an internal struggle over how to reply; be honest and open up, or revert to her usual behaviour and strengthen her walls. The battle was still waring as the next messages popped up.

Ember Celia: I know it’s not really any of my business but I doubt this is all because of ‘normal young adult things’ and I get the feeling that if it’s as bad as I think it is you probably don’t have anyone to talk to about it.

Ember Celia: So I want you to know, I’m here if you need someone to talk to… because I look out for my friends.

Ember Celia: Even if they are an Ice Queen who can’t take a joke sometimes.

Weiss just stared in shock at the screen as Ember’s character ran off to fight a pack of Grimm that spawned nearby. She still wasn’t sure exactly what to make of the situation she was in; and yet she found herself typing.

Myrtenaster: Thank you Ember. That actually means a lot to me.

Myrtenaster: But I don’t think I’m quite ready to talk about it… yet.

She held her breath, anxiously waiting for a reply.

Ember Celia: No problem. How about we just play instead for now?

Ember Celia: I was thinking about doing some of the low-level dungeons to get some new clothing items.

Ember Celia: takes a lot fo wrk to keep this pretty ass lookin so fiiiiiiine!!!

Weiss snorted at the abrupt return of the crass and unabashed Ember she was used to. Yet she couldn’t deny the small smile once again tugging at her mouth.

Myrtenaster: Of course that’s where all your in-game effort goes. Ohm forbid you should show up to a raid wearing the same outfit as the previous one.

Ember Celia: AH! theres my ice queen!

Weiss’ smile grew.

She didn’t even realise how long they had been playing together until the first few rays of sunlight creeped across the room. Checking the time, Weiss noted she still had a little over an hour before her alarm would go off.

Myrtenaster: Well I should really try to get some sleep before school.

Ember Celia: That would be a good idea…

Ember Celia: And I should probably get started on that report I was avoiding!

Myrtenaster: EMBER!

Ember Celia: Whoa! I’m kidding!

Myrtenaster: You better be.

Ember Celia: Or what? You gunna freeze me Ice Queen?

Weiss narrowed her eyes at the screen, as if she could make the other feel her glare through it.

Ember Celia: I bet you have cold toes

Ember Celia: And I bet you’re the type to try and put those cold toes somewhere warm when you snuggle with someone…

Weiss glared harder, not responding.

Ember Celia: Alright, I might be a bit over tired…

Ember Celia: So I’ll leave that line of teasing for another night…

Ember Celia: I hope you get some rest.

Ember Celia: And don’t forget what I said before. Online or offline, I’m here if you need me.

Her expression relaxed enough for her to type out a reply.

Myrtenaster: Thank you Ember. Aside from that last comment… tonight was surprisingly… fun.

Ember Celia: Yeah, it was.

Myrtenaster: Have a good day Ember.

Ember Celia: Yeah you too. I’ll see you for raid tonight!

The smile was back on her lips as Weiss signed out and shut everything down, climbing into bed and preparing herself to try and fall asleep again.

As she began going through her mental exercises to try and shut off her brain she kept finding herself distracted by thoughts of what had happened and what Ember had said. She had the distinct impression that she would fine Ember online again at the same time tonight. That thought made her feel surprisingly content, even if she would have to deal with Ember’s teasing.

As she felt her eyes close, she curled up to fall asleep, noticing that her feet had come up as if to tuck between someone’s shins. Weiss’ last thought before sleep finally took her was just how annoyed she was going to be at Ember for being right about her cold toes…

#freezerburn #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #rwby #gaming au #I wrote the draft for this whilst incredibly tired #and I'm out of practice #so sorry in advance if it's not great #xP

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alex-guerin · 6 years

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So, the company I work for supplies all the local convenience stores and Speedway gas stations East of the Mississippi River with all their stuff inside the store (you go in and buy a phone charger from a Speedway station? Boom. Came from us. That Snickers ice cream bar you chowed down on? Picked from our freezer...well...not MY freezer -- unless you live within 100 miles of my particular warehouse, but one of our company’s warehouses). Our two major stores use to be Circle K (”Strange things are afoot at the Circle K...”) and Speedway.

Second week of January, our contract with Circle K was up and they switched to a different distribution company. All of the sudden, our work days went from 10 to 12 hrs a day..............to 4.5. I’m not even kidding you. Today the freezer half of my department was done at 4am, my crew in the cooler was done at 4:30am. We started at midnight. For months, and I do mean MONTHS, management was begging anyone and everyone who was willing to work as many hours as possible, to work as many hours as possible. The paychecks were decent, so those of us who decided to work extra hours never really complained, too much.

Now that we’ve hit slow travel season, and we’ve lost Circle K, management doesn’t really want anyone putting in any over time. In fact, if it were up to them, they probably would have preferred that my entire department left once we were finished today...after only 4 or 4.5 hours of work. While 2nd shift no doubt got their full 8 or more hours in today. My shift (3rd shift) is the only one NOT promised a full 8 hour shift. We’d still be called full-timers, still get all the benefits, but there was a good chance we’d be lucky most days to make 36hrs a week during the winter (at least, that’s how it was last winter once we finally hit our winter hours). Now it’s even less likely unless our manager can find something for us to do until 8:30 when we hit our full 8 hr mark.

Well, I like to stay and help Jason on Wednesdays. It’s a heavy day for him, and I like getting to help break down the skids that come in full of product, arrange them on the pallets, and slap the labels on so he can get them confirmed into the system and put away in the freezer. It’s a fun little way for me to be able to spend more time with him, and more often than not, we joke around and tease each other and play and be goofy and everything’s cool. So, when my guys finished at 4:30, and I finished stacking at 5:30/6am, I just wandered my way out to the dock, looked to see what Jason was working on breaking down and dove right in.

My manager found me a few minutes later and was like, “Hey, you’re cool to stay until 8:30. But that’s it. Anything more than that, and we gotta go talk to the warehouse manager. They don’t want anyone to get any overtime right now.” Because of fucking course they don’t want anyone to get any overtime right now. Guuuuuuuuuh!! So, I said that was fine (*cue Morgan Freeman’s narration: “It was in fact not fine,”*) and I set about working to get as much done as I could in what little time I actually had.

Now, Jason has not been feeling well this week. He called off Friday cuz he wasn’t feeling well, and he still isn’t up to par yet. I dropped cold and flu meds off for him Monday after I finished work (which his dad decided to steal most of, thanks dad...) and yesterday he basically went home straight after work and went straight to bed. Today, he still wasn’t feeling well. And on top of that, his “helper” Oscar was being an utter dumbass again and pissing him off right from the start of his shift. So, he was not in a good mood. At all. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get him to laugh or play or anything with me. He went on his first break at 6:30, I went with, and finally got him to talk and tell me what was wrong (Oscar, of course, was the reason. As he usually is). It seemed to help him a little to vent, but not enough to get him to play with me.

Now, last week, he and I were being goofy and playful and...yeah alright, inappropriate but in a fairly innocent way (if that’s possible? All talk, I guess you could say?) and then on Wednesday, I was gonna be brave and do something for him at work (*coughs-lethimcopafeel-coughs*) where the cameras couldn’t see. It was Wednesday, I had hit my 8 hr mark, I was gonna head home. Went into the freezer where I knew he was and kinda nudged his side and told him to meet me in the ice cream room...where there’s no cameras whatsoever. He didn’t question it, he just went. I met him in there, he hopped off his forklift, pulled his skimask down, took half a step forward, his hands were reaching for my waist and while my brain was screaming to abort, my mouth was already telling him to close his eyes so I could take his hand and shove it against my chest. I literally missed a chance (and it was confirmed that I missed it) to make out with a sober Jason in the ice cream room at work. So, I decided today I was gonna ask for a redo! I wanted a second chance dammit! It got to be a little after 8, Corie (the coworker who cornered him and told him to go talk to me waaaaaaaaay back in September for the first time) was heckling me and telling me to go do it, I only had 20 minutes left before I was suppose to leave, he was alone in the freezer, there’s no cameras in the 95 aisle either, go fucking make out with him. So, I went wandering in and up to his forklift. We talked a bit, he thought I was leaving so he gave me my hug and I still just kinda hung around trying to get him to talk a little more and finally when he was like, “I should get back to work.” I was like, “Yeah?” “Yeah.” “Damn. I kinda was hoping I could get a redo of last week.” He gave a surprised laugh and was all, “What?” “I was hoping I could get a redo of last week. I blew it last week! I want a redo!” He tried to play like he didn’t know what I was talking about, I nudged at him and told him he totally knew what I was talking about. He finally was like, “Eh...well...maybe...” I just smirked at him and raised an eyebrow and tried to nudge a bit more and he went, “C’mon, really, lemme get back to work. I wanna get out of here at a decent time.”

I was totally rejected. Turned down. I felt utterly stupid and kind of ashamed of myself for even suggesting it. I nodded and let go of his forklift and was like, “Okay, gimme another hug, I’ll go.” So, got another hug (a nice hug, both arms, sides of our heads tilted against each others), turned, shoved my hands in my pockets and shuffled off out of the freezer.

Corie was still out on the dock, on her own forklift, talking to their manager, John. She saw me come out, I made a grumbling face, which got her to laughing and then when John looked from me to her and said something, she started laughing more. I went up and tried to play like I didn’t know why she was laughing, and both her and John just waved me off. I went and got my shit together, locked up my locker, felt like a total dumbass, and went to try and leave. Went up to Corie’s forklift and she finally was like, “Alright, so, 1: I was laughing cuz I saw your face. 2: Because John saw you walk out ahead of Jason and went, ‘Oh, they took a trip to the ice cream room, huh?’ Oh, by the way, John totally knows about you guys, totally by my own fault.”

..........I don’t know whether to kill Corie, or just never show my face around their manager ever again. Either way, Corie got me to stick around a little while longer, until it was basically 8:30 on the nose, and during that time she was all, “Dude. I can’t believe he turned you down!” then look over her shoulder to see where he was and scream, “DUMBASS!” Pretty sure he had no idea she was talking about him. Then, right before I was gonna leave for real, she was like, “I’m totally gonna go up to Jason and be like, ‘Bro, you should give Lyssa a li’l somethin’-somethin’ in the freezer before she leaves.’” I begged her not to! She was just doing it to try and embarrass me and him! She grabbed up a stack of labels, went over to him and I ducked behind a pallet to hide cuz JFC how is this my life?!?! And yeah, she totally did it. Thankfully, he didn’t know she was serious. He just laughed about it. So, I left and felt stupid (though, did feel better once I found out that Purple Haired Bitch had left a while ago and never came onto the dock looking for him, he never left the dock to go with her, I was sooooo happy!) and texted him at like, 11am to apologize and say that I just thought if I could get him to play, it might help make his day a little more bearable. I figured the only response from him I’d get, if I got one at all, would be “It’s all good.”

I grabbed my pajamas, and a towel, went and took a long, hot shower and when I came back down there was a text from him. As expected, it was, “It’s all good.” But there was more! “Just not feeling well and I don’t want to get you sick.” *Dopey grin and cuddles phone close* It wasn’t cuz he didn’t want to, or because last Thursday he sent me a text saying “I think we should start behaving”. It was cuz he doesn’t wanna get me sick. Which is what I told Corie I figured it was when he turned me down. And the meds I gave him? He’s actually taking. He literally just sent me another text, basically letting me know he was off of work, saying “Time to go take more meds lol”. I just...I know why he’s not ready for a serious relationship, and I know he’s been burned so many times before that he’s scared of it happening again, but I just...I’m gonna keep hoping. And trying, and working at him. I feel like I am chipping away his resolve, tiny bits at a time, but still doing so. And I know his life is an utter wreck right now thanks to his bitch of an ex, but there’s times when it feels like he’s almost willing to give it a shot. I’ve been praying, A LOT, and I’m not one for praying or very religious, but I have been praying a lot, every day...and amazingly enough, in small ways it feels like they’re being answered.

His mom told me Friday when she and I were talking, if I thought he was worth it, to be patient with him and get him to talk. I’m as ridiculously patient with him as he is with me. I’m gonna keep working at him, keep trying to chip away at the shield he’s got around his heart. At this moment, right now, I have no intentions of giving up. He’s stuck with me. For however long it takes.

#Personal log #how did my life become a fucking fanfic?#Like seriously #I swear I've read this fic before #it had a happy ending #just lots of angst and pain along the way #A character with insecurities #yeah #no #I've totally read this fic.#But it's real life???#What the actual fuck???

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dabumbumblife · 7 years

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Saying goodbye to another relationship

Hey everyone, so i got an interesting story for y'all. I was a part of this very fast pace relationship that only lasted a little over a month. The woman's name was D____. At first, I fell for her kindness. The fact that she helped me out even after being two hours late AND searching for me when I was lost, spoke volumes about her character. The second was her personality. It was literally like dating fire, any second you could get burned, but at the same time, you couldnt help but want to be near the warmth. Finally, dear lord her body was the hottest i've dated yet. There were always rocky instances throughout the short relationship. She would often get jealous of my friends, whether they be in the philippines, or abroad. She would often get jealous in general, even with my own family as well as ex's that I havn't seen in or spoken to in years. It was tiring to fight every single day, but I still fell very hard for the woman. Despite her jealousy, I wanted to stick with her, to be the guy she'd be with in the end. but that never came into fruition. Why? Because her personal life continuously unhinged what little we started to build. Plus, her unyielding need to point out negative factors of me, or just straight up judge me. It was baffling. Let me start with the first problem: 1. The girl had people courting her for years. Now this by itself isn't an issue. The problem is that she would continue to take gifts from these people far after we had decided to start dating. No, neither of these guys gave up, she continuously said that they're just friends but, lets be real, they don't see it like that. A woman must be able to command her own path, not be so weak willed when it comes to others interfering with the relationship. 2. She was all about money. I don't know what sparked this issue, but she really started to focus soley on money. It was asif every single aspect of our relationship revolved around it. To be honest, I spent more on her (percentage wise) than any other woman i've dated. I doubt she noticed cuz she was too buy looking at the value spent (or lackthereof) rather than what i'm actually sacraficing to be with her. Now I only have about 20.00 that must last about 30 days. Good luck to me. 3. She can't let go of the past. Granted she was head over heels for a guy before, and various men have been trying (and even while we were dating, have continued to try) to date her, i stood firm about my feelings towards her. However, in her case, she would dig... find whatever she could on facebook, or even start imagining things, blow it up, and break up with me on a whim. I felt like nothing almost every time she did that. It felt like I really couldn't open up to her about anything after awhile... 4. She called me some other guys name. Thats kinda self explanitory, there isn't much to be said after that. I was treating her to some bubble tea, she called me one of her other guys names. Yeah... imagine how my heart felt when that happened... I am still not over it. 5. She talks highly of other men. This is probably my biggest pet peeve. How can a woman say shes dating and has a boyfriend, when she quite literally says "xyz loves me far more than you do" followed by words like " Sometimes I ask god why I don't love him back". Girl... the fuck. Its one thing to think a friend or whatever is amazing. Its another to always rub in the things that I am currently limited to doing, or even worse, comparing and saying I fail in the most basic of things that I know I am trying my best at, especially to others who are still trying to court her (when they're supposed to stop... but she never stops them). 6. She lies. I mean, everyone lies. I don't believe theres anyone in this world who could say otherwise. However her lies aren't white lies. She willingly omits information regarding other men at near intimate levels just so "I won't get mad". The issue is the situation in the first place. I have to admit, I too have lied to her, about meeting up with a friend. However, that time was to actually talk about her and kind of brag about her, also to get help on what we can do together later that month as a couple, it backfired and she forever stopped trusting me. 7. She believes in other peoples words. This is probably another one that hurts me. I would tell her something, really think out my words before I send them but what she would do is go asking one of those guys that are trying to court her, and they would flip my words against me. She willingly chooses their words over mine. I hope nobody feels through that type of pain. 8. She did the "pick between your friends of me" question. Like wow... what are we 11? Stop with that shit, you're a freaking adult. 9. She had no actual faith in us succeeding, regardless of me being a foreigner. She would continuously say "This will eventually end" and "i'm going to marry an arab for the money so my family will be happy" etc. Her mind had already been setup to want us to fail. Almost every single day she would remind me that i'm either not good enough, that other men are doing things for her, or that she sees no future in us being together. I still question then, why call yourself my girlfriend and be with me, if you already want us to fail? There isn't much willpower in negativity. I just couldn't when we spoke about future plans. She wasn't ready. 10. There are alot more, but this will be the last. She wouldn't listen. Above all else this was probably the one that was the most devistating. Rather than hear my own words, she would listen to others. Instead of listening to me (having to defend myself on a daily mind you) about how I am literally doing nothing, she would make believe something, get furious and lash out. The amount of times we would just walk around the mall and she would scream at me for looking at some random girl (another note, she happily looks at other men...and women... and then screams at me when I have been trained to look down to the floor out of respect) when I wasn't even looking. My eyes are averted to the floor, out of respect for women, they aren't sex objects to me, they are people of equal status. I respect them and hopefully they respect me. She couldn't get this. She never wanted to communicate or look through my eyes on things, just blow up, f @ eel bad, and wait for me to come back begging, even though I had done nothing wrong. This was a destructive relationship by leaps and bounds. I am actually very hurt because I was so into the thought of this working out. Now i'm just like "wow... I lost everything and she don't even say nothing". She broke up with me by text btw, imagine how thats like. I really tried my best to make this work. I wish she just saw how much effort I had put in, just paid the tiniest bit of attention on the actions I did... something. I know I was her first bf and lover, thats probably why she doesn't realize what she truly had. But she made up her mind, blocked me on all forms and has probably moved on, or at least is in the process. I will truly miss her, because I loved her. I tried so damn had to make things work, I guess it was just too real when I blew up and texted out my entire grievances with what she's been doing up till now. All she got out of it was "you think low of me" and "you indirectly called me a hoe"... shes too immature to really see that she isn't ready for the seriousness of a relationship. I wish it was otherwise, but thats how it is. Thus is the life of a foreigner!... Now I have two tickets to a theme park this sunday and nobody to go with. I will miss you girl, more than you'll ever know.

#philippines #firstlove #foreigner #international #goodbye #breakup #storytime

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discoursecatharsis · 7 years

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(?/1) Well this is going to be a bit long, but I need to answer it without replying. "you feel like you are your own proof that 16 is old enough to be adult, to be sexual. I felt like this too when I was your age." I'm 21 years old. I never felt sexually ready at 16. I was looking at the NSFW content because I liked it and that's all. I have friends at the age of 15 who already had experience. We are all different and again, in France, 15 years and 3 months can have sex, it's healthy and legal

(?/2) “Between the ages of 18-21 you will change in ways that you can’t imagine yet. Once you leave school and start to have more adult responsibilities and experiences you WILL change.” I am at the same stage of my life as my friends who had 16 and I 18 at the time. Again: it depends on everyone. It depends on the maturity of each and the situation. And for Otayuri: they are at the same stage of their lives. Skate up to suffer, win gold … As said and it is canon: Otabek and Yuri are equal.

(?/3) “Living on your own, being independent” Here proof, for an/s 18 = magically adult. That may be the case, but it’s far from being a majority. To live alone? I knew people from 16 who lived alone. Friends who are almost the same age as me or a little older: they live with their parents. I will repeat often: but it depends on everyone. Some are studying, some don’t have the means to live, some are simply afraid … And yes, a 20 year friend lives alone with her boyfriend. Cuz all cases exist.

(?/4) If they think 18 = house. It’s ridiculous. Imagine, Otabek lives alone, ok, he will continue to grow, ok, anyone knows that Yura too? Which means that, Otabek has 20 and Yura is 18 years old will live directly alone then? So they can live together. Yeah, they are now in the slice “18-20” magic logic an°s. By cons, strangely they will always have the same goals and hoping in their lives, I mean, you know, the world where both live, figure skating and where Yura is the champions and not Beka

(?/5) “looking after yourself, being legally responsible for yourself and (most importantly) discovering that it’s your responsibility to protect other minors now, are all life shaping experiences.” I never felt that when I had 18, 19 … Just that, it was scary to be considered adult, when in my head I was not. And even now it’s not always easy for me, while it’s clear to others: all different. And I still don’t feel like the “responsibility” to protect teenagers.

(?/6) A child of 10 years, if heIshe has problems, I will want to protect himIher, but not by “responsibility”. But because a child cannot defend himself. And there is so much luck that I call an adult more competent than me. I don’t feel responsible for teenagers when I doubt being responsible for myself. It is the parents who are responsible, not me. And, here, Otayuri does nothing wrong to represent the real life.

(?/7) "The moment you hit 18 you have to constantly be looking at your behaviour and making sure you’re keeping the invisible line between yourself and children intact. If you don’t do that then you’ve failed in your responsibility as an adult." The world is then filled with people who have failed. The moment I had 18: realized that it did not change anything and continue the school with my friends of 15/16 and 19/20. My friends are not "kids", they were teenagers and always my friends.

(?/?8?) “Yes, there’s a grey area if you’re 18 and dating someone who is 17 and in the same school/college year as you. But at this time in life the age gap between 15/16 and 18 is massive and it’s not the same as an age gap between 20 and 22, for example.” Hello, anOs. We talk about Otayuri, a relationship 16/18. I exist. Proof that I was at the same standard of living as a 16 when I was 18. Everyone is different, again and not to change: Yura grows too. Also “You’re only 18 yourserlf!!”

(?/9) “One of the most basic things that you find yourself doing as an adult that you didn’t really do or care about that much as a child is CHECKING HOW OLD SOMEONE IS. I do it all the time. It’s something that comes up casually in conversation between adults all the time. All responsible adults do it.” Thank you for learning teenager in your vocabulary. Then, everyone checked the age? When I was 16, I checked the age, and now also I checked the age and then … I forgot it.

(?/10) And do you know why ? Because the mentality makes someone younger than you will inevitably have less maturity and twists, who does not see “shut up, you’re only 15 years old”? While the 15 to bring more relevant argument than an “adult”. It is an unfair mentality. There is always a limit to everything, context, discussion … but some 15/16 cannot get along with 17/18 cuz too immature, like 15/16 can be friend with 17/18 … We are all different. An age of 2 and a few months is not much.

(I take a little break here: sorry to invade your ask, and also … SORRY for my terrible english!!! It’s just annoying and it needs to go out somewhere …)

(?/11?) “It’s not your responsibility to look after yourself online and to police the content you’re seeing, it’s the responsibility of the adults around you.” That’s their parents. Internet has rules, tools to avoid what you do not like. It is not the creator of content to self-censor for the children (and here we speak of teenager, damn!) Parents pay attention to what their child watching on television, on the internet it should be the same.

(?/12) If a site tolerates something and you can register, the person is considered to be able to protect himself / herself. Otherwise, exit tumblr. Otayuri exists in the world, whether you want it or not @ntis, there are healthy and happy relationships. Denying it doesn’t change the world, denying it doesn’t change people who have become parents and happy with their children, denying it doesn’t change the love between a 16 and an 18 that exists at the moment.

(?/13) “Adults who ship Otayuri should know better, they should know that it’s wrong for them to be imagining and fantasizing about a 15/16 year old boy in sexual, adult situations (especially when they’re with an 18 year old).” Well, well … Another antis who talks about sex more than the shipper! Congratulations for not understanding the ship Otayuri. There are already many posts about this. As always: having a romantic relationship is not equal to having sex.

(?/14) “Think about this. Think about yourself right now and then imagine a 30 year old adult looking at you and thinking about having sex with you. It’s disgusting. It’s terrifying.” 16-30 is not a gap of 2 years. 18-30 is not an age gap of 2 years. (Moreover, it exists in 0ne Piece, Hanc0ck x Luffy,), 21-30 is not an age gap of 2 years. Can we go back to the main topic? You know, Otayuri, a 16 and 18. A normal gap of 2 years and a few months.

(?/16) “So if you’re a minor, just know that we’re not trying to fight you, we’re trying to protect you from being surrounded by irresponsible adults. When I make anti posts saying that I don’t give a fuck about otayuri shippers’ feelings, I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about the adults around you. You’ll always be safe from me.” This is the most hypocritical thing I have seen.

(?/17) Are the “minors” supposed to guess it alone in the antis posts? They are supposed to “oh it doesn’t speak about me even if it says "otayuri shippers”, what I am". Is this a joke? For a person “responsible” and “adult”, it’s the good example of bringing hate rather than a discussion? It’s a good example, to say antis and be proud to bring hate? And the hatred and the harassment that they receive by this movement you contribute, a good thing? It’s responsible, mature?

“So if you feel like any of this applies to you, or you feel upset, or confused, or you don’t know what to do, my inbox is always open and I have anon switched on. I don’t know many other people in this community but I can say that my friend is also safe and okay to talk to about this. Please try to stay safe.” So I will conclude with that too: they would be safe without all this hatred. And it’s no more correct to tell the older shipper to die. This is the worst example to give.

(+) The difference between @nt.s and shippers is that shippers know that for some people it has not been a good experience, ‘cause assholes exist at all ages. This is understandable. But @an.t.s should also realize that good healthy relationships exist, people are there to say it and their words should count as much as people with bad experiences. The Otayuri relationship exists, sometimes it’s bad, sometimes it’s healthy and in love. Both exist.

And I’m terribly sorry for invading your ask, again. And again for my awful english. I’m sorry, really sorry, I’ve seen you sometimes on the tag and when I saw that I did not know where to go … And I did not think it would be that long … And it’s hard to be able to speak when it’s not my first language, I’m sorry if it’s horrible to read. Thank you so much for this blog.

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

(I think I got all the parts of your asks. Sorry if I missed any or if I added any that weren’t from you >.

I don’t really have much to add, this is very well said! Like you said: “it depends on everyone. It depends on the maturity of each and the situation.” Ant//s aren’t able to grasp this idea for some reason. They don’t understand that not everyone is the same, not every situation is cut and paste or black and white. Good job calling them out on their ignorance! 👍🏽

#ask #Anonymous

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voidwizerd-archive · 7 years

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BONDING EXPERIENCES?? ==>

[[ logs with @carnivalsorphans, our muses keep bonding in very confusing ways, what the fuck are these two ]]

voidwizerd okay first off please dont bring this up w Kankri bc th last thing i can handle rn is anythin resemblin a moral talk im too pissed

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd do you ever like get a super specific urge to just beat a body senseless does this happen to you

carnivalsorphans often enough that the thought some people don't kinda baffles

voidwizerd i cant get at who i wanna get at theyre all universes away n maybe DEAD which sure would be fuckin convenient fr them huh i just

carnivalsorphans hahaha yeah fuckin relatable

voidwizerd wanna find some shitty person n whale on em until theyre only sorta recognizable

carnivalsorphans hmmm

voidwizerd teeth aint that necessary anyhow ugh

carnivalsorphans hahahaha do you actually want me ta find ya someone shitty ta fuck up or we just talkin hypotheticals and feelings?

voidwizerd i honestly dont even know i just wanted to confirm someone else experiences this too

voidwizerd i figured if anyone does itd be you

carnivalsorphans aight, just feelings yeah, you bet sib a lot. and it's hard. just kinda.... keepin that real tight inside it winds ya up a bit warps you and makes ya feel all weird til ya can do somethin ta make it stop i used ta bleed myself and then paint with it, but wicked said that's bad, so i'm tryinna figure somethin else out

carnivalsorphans i felt that way bout anyone i actually give a fuck about, where any time they talk on their old shit it just makes me tense up and start this fuckin rumble

carnivalsorphans usually stop it afore it gets loud though kankri says he don't feel that way at all, but i bet there's somethin that'd wind him up that bad somethin for everyone that just makes em wanna beat someone bloody

voidwizerd yeah it just its like wrappin your insides up tighter n tighter n tighter n it feels like itll rip n spill everythin out

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd so fuck, if its gonna tear eventually why not choose myself how that happens???

carnivalsorphans yeah and i'd think at least no one was gettin hurt but me and i like pain anyhow

carnivalsorphans and it spills out nice and slow and i get somethin pretty at the end of it but ... ya gotta pick ya poison, sometimes

voidwizerd i guess i did that last one kinda fr different reasons n a bit more extreme but ha ha ........i fuckin hate copin

carnivalsorphans yeah, it's hard i got a lot ta cope with

carnivalsorphans used ta think i was better than addiction, but i ... dunno. feel like an addict sometimes. wicked says i might be one, even. instead of the bottom of a bottle, i just got my claws

voidwizerd just bout anythin can be addicted to i used to run until my body gave out only way my mind would go quiet i miss th quiet

carnivalsorphans .... yeah

voidwizerd but Kankri would worry

carnivalsorphans fuck havin connections ta people hahaha

voidwizerd right its terrible but also i wouldnt know what happy is like either

carnivalsorphans .... yeah

voidwizerd th loneliness was killin me ha like literally lmaooooo

carnivalsorphans yeah i can feel that

voidwizerd well no okay technically i was doin that my own damn self

carnivalsorphans you wouldn't think, surrounded by church who loves me

carnivalsorphans but ya know. lonely at the top

voidwizerd fuckin pussy i was broke in less than two sweeps. whoop whoop yeah yeah i bet lonely is terrible, fuck that shit

carnivalsorphans used ta be worse but used ta be, i didn't care .... way way fuckin back when saw people bein all close to eachother and it seemed like a waste a fuckin time and energy and like they was a bit away from stabbin eachother in the back

carnivalsorphans .... fuckin ignorance was bliss

voidwizerd ha wouldnt it be so much easier just to not

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd not need that not fuckin CLING to affection like a goddamn lifeline bc its either that n bein treated like garbage or bein treated like nothin at all

carnivalsorphans yeah, fuck that

voidwizerd hurt or isolation take your pick trick question they both hurt and they both make you feel isolated

carnivalsorphans yeah hahahahaha

carnivalsorphans rather have real hurt though. makes shit hard ta focus on .... sometimes, at least

voidwizerd mmn

carnivalsorphans > Try not to think of Artemi. > Try /really hard/

voidwizerd do i like pain fr kinky reasons or do i like it bc i just want someone to beat me to shit

carnivalsorphans hahahahaha

voidwizerd these are th questions

carnivalsorphans just assume it's a little a both

carnivalsorphans nothin's ever so black and white sometimes a lil more of one, sometimes a lil more of another

voidwizerd fuckin

carnivalsorphans and sometimes it fades away so much ya almost forget it's there

voidwizerd hate that shit

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd wish it could be simple shouldnt knowin yourself be simple but nah

carnivalsorphans hahahahaha

voidwizerd other ppl know me better than me

carnivalsorphans depends on how fuckin much you want to know

voidwizerd aint that just th fuckin way

carnivalsorphans i've tried real hard not ta let anyone know me fuckin hate bein /known/ bein... able ta pin down predict

voidwizerd sure is a thing its scary

voidwizerd scarier than anythin

carnivalsorphans .... yeah and not just cuz i'm scared for my church not just cuz i'm scared a how people will take it just... 's

voidwizerd if i didnt trust Kankri so much id prolly just. go outta my fuckin mind of terror. ha

carnivalsorphans yeah every time me and wicked have a real talk, i get a bit.... tense. all tensed up for him ta fuckin recoil or use shit against me or probably ain't the best way ta feel with ya rail, but

voidwizerd no i i get that fuck dude i literally couldnt tell you how often Jane n Dirk did that to me but my stupid ass kept confidin in em anyway

carnivalsorphans hahaha i never risked it sometimes i'd tell shit to people i was

voidwizerd only reason i didnt confide w Jake at all was cause he never paid attention to anythin that wasnt bout him

carnivalsorphans hurtin. i ain't ever had enough trust in fuckers to do that sorta shit too often

voidwizerd shit dude if ur only confidantes are th ppl ur torturin you just might need to get out more

carnivalsorphans hahahahaha yeah

carnivalsorphans i kinda went a bit nuts after i fell got better though

voidwizerd good on you shoulder pat for success

carnivalsorphans there's a lotta things i miss bout that time. probably more than i should. one more addiction ta add onto the pile

voidwizerd ha careful dude dont wanna be breakin records here

carnivalsorphans hahahaha i've lived a long time, i set all the records

voidwizerd my point is to get better rather than worse knucklehead though ha tbh this is one of those lights i doubt thats really a possible thing

carnivalsorphans hahaha how bout we just try for not gettin worse tolight? wanna come over? for the sake a not bein alone

voidwizerd i .....yeah thanks

carnivalsorphans fuck knows i ain't gonna be good for bein alone tonight neither. .... but i don't really wanna worry wicked over me bein all whatever i am right now

voidwizerd "whatever" is a good word fr feelins tonight "whatever" with a side of "sad n violent"

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd apparently not a regular or good thing to feel .. is it bad fr me to be so relieved you get this way too

carnivalsorphans naw 's normal ta feel relieved that ya ain't alone in ya experiences

carnivalsorphans fuck, that's sorta why i hang around sugary and vel and wicked

voidwizerd oh huh i guess i like. well i didnt even know i was angry until well

carnivalsorphans until you was burnin

voidwizerd yeah

carnivalsorphans i think vel sorta gets like that

voidwizerd i guess i been mad a long time but

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd long as i ignored it things never happened

carnivalsorphans people tend ta forget angry is somethin they is allowed ta be

voidwizerd until that naggin suspicion got confirmed, that i was treated no better than shit on someones heel, n i just welp there goes th neighborhood

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd anger is its big

carnivalsorphans anger is born out of sorrow a lot sorrow at fuckin... lack at bein wronged

voidwizerd .....yeah

carnivalsorphans at missed opportunities and bein taken advantage of

voidwizerd at at knowin i did nothin to get hurt n did *everythin* to win approval thats just

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd seventeen goddamn years of waste right there

carnivalsorphans yeah sweeps of lack of what ya deserved

voidwizerd i didnt deserve that

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd *they* deserved my goddamn fists i wish id fought back

carnivalsorphans it's aight to be angry bout that shit. people always say it's aight to mourn, but sometimes mournin involves gettin fuckin pissed

voidwizerd i wish id listened to my instincts

carnivalsorphans you did what ya knew ta do and that's... somethin

carnivalsorphans may not always feel good

voidwizerd i loved em too much was th problem id let anythin slide cause they was my whole world

carnivalsorphans ain't nothin wrong with lovin maybe a bit wrong with bein blinded by it, but there ain't nothin to be done about that except learn from it

voidwizerd yeah took

carnivalsorphans and fuckin... bein tempered hurts, but it does make ya stronger

voidwizerd fuckin 21 years but i learned

carnivalsorphans .... cmere?

voidwizerd yeah

voidwizerd yeah ill be there

carnivalsorphans > Probably help to send coords. > And then time to snug a friend

voidwizerd > Friend will cry and rant a lot but appreciate much. > Mostly cry.

carnivalsorphans > Pet the friend. Kiss their head and wipe away tears sometimes and comfort and offer inappropriate jokes when tears seem to be letting up.

voidwizerd > Jokes get a smile and then even more crying because what the fuck is an appropriate response to people caring about them.

carnivalsorphans > More kisses because how do you deal with people crying Normally anyway?

voidwizerd > Kisses back a little because that seems to help and not kissing back was starting to feel Weird.

carnivalsorphans > Prr? Wipe away tears, focus more on wiz than your own shit.

voidwizerd > Pr... Still feeling terrible, and thinking about bad gunk, but at least not alone. And good to be with someone who kinda gets it. "We're sorta fucked up huh."

carnivalsorphans "Yeah. But we make it work."

voidwizerd "Fuck dude we sure do. By the skin of our fuckin teeth but we're doin it."

carnivalsorphans "I think we're doin better than some people."

voidwizerd "That's optimistic." > Weak laugh.

carnivalsorphans "Naw, we ain't still stuck in our old shit. I think that's better off. Some people never get that far."

voidwizerd "...That's true." > Snuggle up more after decaptchaing more blankets. Feeling more vulnerable to Ringleader's chilliness.

carnivalsorphans > Oh, good. A layer between you and the warmth. ... Give the bundled wiz a squish. "There's somethin to be said for bein proud of how far we've come, at least. Even if we ain't where we wanna be yet." > .... Where does he want to be though?

voidwizerd "Where we even tryin to get to, though?" > Squish is good. Quiet purr.

carnivalsorphans > A snort. "Ya know, I was thinkin the exact same thing." > Loud purring.

voidwizerd "Don't that just figure. Tolight we're real fulla questions that don't got proper answers, huh."

carnivalsorphans "I dunno that we gotta know where we're goin ta be glad we're not where we were."

voidwizerd > Now you snort. "That's some deep shit."

carnivalsorphans "That's me. Deep as fuck. ya know my real secret now.

voidwizerd "I'm honored!" > Quiet laugh. Moody staring at nothing for a while. "Think I'm done cryin now. Got that hollow sense settlin in nice an blegh.”

carnivalsorphans “Yeah, fuck that. I only appreciate that shit when i’m needin to think after bein pissed. And even then, it ain’t the same as true calm.”

voidwizerd "Mmh. Better than feelin I'm about to like... break into a million billion pieces. Like takin a sledgehammer to a window. Ha." > Blink slow. Slower. You're not moving so much.

carnivalsorphans > Squish. You ain't their rail, it's not your responsibility to make sure they're all... In tact. .... But still, you're a bit concerned. A tiny bit. "Anythin I can be doin ta help?"

voidwizerd "'unno. Feelin's gone for now." > Whoops, that there is a yawn. You rub your face, trying to stay awake. "What about you?"

carnivalsorphans "Feel.... Warm." Soft purring. "Probably about time ta pass out."

voidwizerd "Mmh." Sprawl out a bit. "Thanks for bein my comrade in shittiness."

carnivalsorphans "Misery demands company and all that. Plus i like hangin around you."

voidwizerd "Gay."

carnivalsorphans "Yeah." Forehead kiss.

voidwizerd > Mumble a barely comprehensible "suuuuper gay" before nodding off. > RL's a good friend.

carnivalsorphans > Pet Wiz a little longer before going to sleep yourself.

#logs #carnivalsorphans #[[ okay they talk about a lotta junk so here goes ]]#violence //#addiction //#alcoholism //#alcohol //#self harm //#abuse //#torture //#ask to tag //

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