#but with waaay less sex jokes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

best-enemies · 3 years

Note

For the fandom ask meme thing can I request the whole damn alphabet or is that not very cash money of me? I’m nosy lmao I wanna know all of them!

AHDKAJSDKJAHSKDA JACK YOU’RE THE BEST

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

I’ve had my current OTP for like almost 8 years and it’s, obviously, Thoschei (Doctor/Master). My other current obsession is the Gallifrey OT4 hehehe

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

It’s funny because I didn’t ship Hannigram at first... I’d thought the idea of a cannibal having a relationship was terrifying because what if they had sex and Hannibal got hungry in the middle of the act? Lmaoooo

But yeah they’re my endgame now. I watched the show when it first aired and I was about 14/15 years old so now you see why I thought that. Although I’m still afraid I’m gonna be reading a fic and Hannibal will suddendly bite Will’s dick off or smth AKJHSAKJSAHSASKAJ

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh Doctor/Clara. Mainly because I don’t like to ship the Doctor with companions (there may be one or two exceptions but I don’t ship them enough to actually say I ship them lol) and I don’t know I just never vibed with it

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Doctor/River. I mean, I did like it for a while years ago but now it’s just... eh. I think she has a waaay better chemistry with the 12th Doctor, but still don’t ship it. I might give it a try once I listen to the River audios but so far meh. I’m not much of a multishipper anyway.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

God. I’ve written a couple of Academy Era (focused on the Deca) crack fanfics and I still have to translate them to English. They’re pure garbage but I love them. I have a lot of fun writing crack fics because they’re easier and I can ignore whatever piece of canon I want just for the laughs

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

Guess it’s Doctor Who, been here (in and out of the fandom) for over 8/9 years

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

Uhhhh I think it was Han Solo and Leia, since I was a kid really. I wanted to marry both of them lol

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

I had to google what a source text is and still don’t know

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think so, but Twitter definitively has. I remember a couple years ago I was curious to see what voltron was about and watched a few episodes, it was ok, fun and cute but the fandom was so annoying I stopped watching it for good and don’t care about it enough to pick it up again

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

I had definitively forgotten about supernatural until I saw it all over my dashboard in the year of our lord 2020 lmao like in my wholock days I tried to watch the show because everyone on my dash (is it still called dashboard?) was talking about it and I watched about 8 episodes before dropping it. But seeing it again on the dash was actually a happy surprise because the memes are too funny hahaha

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

I’m extremely shy irl and on the internet as well but I wanna say that @janeturenne is one of the best authors ever and her fanfics are a blessing in my life; also @thebraxiatelcollection who brings awesome content to my dash and is also one of the best authors. And of course, you, Jack, also one of the best authors god I’m so BLESSED

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Uhhh I guess I’m neutral about the current companions. They’re not my favorites but I don’t really dislike them - they had a lot of potential and chibs came up with some good storylines but did not develop them well in my opinion. I think Graham is a fun grandpa whom I’m going to miss when he leaves; Ryan is cool and could’ve done a lot more if the writers had kept a few things, it’d be awesome if he vlogged all of their adventures. He’s like the one I was curious to see more but sadly didn’t feel a connection; and Yaz, I hope she’ll keep growing and that her friendship with the Doctor will finally be developed to a level we can connect to her.

It sounds weird because with the fam it’s always ‘what I wish could have been’ because I never felt really connected to them :(

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

Ok... I don’t really ship Rey/Finn but I think it’s one of the sweetest ships ever, and if they ended up together I’d be happy. They love each other and are there for each other always so, yeah :D

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I don’t know if I got the question right but it’s three things I wish I saw more in my main fandom? Well, if it’s that, then, 3 things about the Doctor Who fandom: 1) people having more civilized or light-hearted discussions about things. Like, I genuinely disliked an 8th doctor audio I listened once that my friends loved, and they made fun of me and we joked about it. Also once we were in a live twitch video playing among us and discussing doctor who, and then we got into a ship “discourse” as a joke and nobody really cared and just laughed because everyone knew it’s fictional shit so why get mad over it? 2) Doctor Who has a titanic amount of content, it’s all canon but at the same time it’s not, so who cares? If you want to listen to Big Finish audios and if you can afford it, then lisiten; if you can’t, it’s okay, no one has the right to tell you you’re less of a fan. Just tell them to fuck off; 3) The best way to keep fandom alive is by creating content. Here in my local fandom we have several podcasts dedicated to all areas of the whoniverse (the show, the expanded universe, the audios, etc), those old fandom websites who do serious work to bring news to the fans, people who make subtitles for the classic series (we don’t have it available here so they do their best to make it accessible to other fans), accounts dedicated to promoting dr who fans who create content, and we even have people making their own audiodramas with dw characters and writing book-lenght fanfiction to help explain the show to people who’ve never watched it, and a great variety of things. I’ve seen a few of these things in the international fandom, mostly by older fans, so I wish younger fans about my age who have the means to make this kind of stuff would make it too. Maybe there’d be less twitter drama out there lol

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

“the killing moon” by echo & the bunnymen reminds me of thoschei. yep it was totally random

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

The fact that we don’t have a pride and prejudice AU for brax/romana yet is driving me insane

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

I’ve mentioned it before but doctor/river, don’t really remember why idk I just don’t vibe with it anymore. But also because thoschei has so many different pairings in 1 ship that I don’t really feel the need to ship them with anyone else lol

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

GOD I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT’S SO SPECIFIC ok fellow academy era stans gather around if you have read Divided Loyalties there’s a scene where it SHOWS that Magnus had a crush on Ushas. And NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED ABOUT THEM and the power couple they would’ve made. I write them into all my fanfics in hopes of making other people ship them but I’ve had no success so far

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

The Master is a big fan of musicals and in the 77 years he spent on earth he watched every single one ever. I’m gonna be bold and say that when he was young, still Koschei, he was an artist, and thought about dropping everything to become an actor on Gallifrey. Time Lords do appreciate art, and have their own plays, but it’s just the same old and boring ones the young people don’t care about. The Master then created a shocking performance that was way ahead of its time and the older Time Lords were so appalled they banned him from writing and presenting plays and that’s his villain origin story

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

1) The Doctor and the Master married on Gallifrey and the entire show is just them having the most litigious divorce in the universe (still isn’t final because the Master has killed all the judges); 2) Ushas/The Rani is ace; 3) The Deca was a 10 people polyamorous relationship; 4) Romana and Livia were girlfriends at the Academy and they hate each other now because the break up was baad; 5) Romana writes fanfiction; 6) Romana/Leela had a thing in Davidia I KNOW it; 7) Leela pegs Narvin; 8) Brax has a life-size painting of Romana at his collection or a statue or smth; 9) Brax’s dream in Reborn is actually REAL and he’s married to Romana, Leela and Narvin all at the same time

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

I don’t even think I’m in 5 fandoms but

Doctor Who: The Master, The Doctor, Romana, Leela, Sarah Jane, Bill (this was the hardest thing ever)

The X-Files: Mulder, Scully, Monica, and can I add The Lone Gunmen too?

Star Wars: Leia, Obi-Wan, Finn, Poe Dameron and honorable mention to Din Djarin and Grogu

Hannibal: Hannibal, Will, Bev, Alana, Chiyoh

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

That’s hard

Doctor Who: thoschei ofc, gallifrey ot4.......... uuhh as you can see i don’t ship many pairings in the show

The X-Files: Mulder and Scully. And whatever Scully and Monica had going on because they definitively flirted

Star Wars: Poe/Finn, Han/Leia, whatever Han/Lando had going on too

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

WHATVASHAJSKAJSA ok this is a little embarassing but I don’t have a lot of kinks for many ships... I guess I have some for thoschei like, choking, whipping, blindfolds/gagging, bondage, begging, biting, sem-public, phone sex, dirty talk, body worship, praise kink, etc. Alright alright I know it’s a lot but in my defense they've shown half of these on the show

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

The Master, Romana, Leela, Brax, Narvin, Bill Potts, Martha Jones, Sarah Jane, Donna Noble, Lucie Miller. No particular order for most of them but the Master is my precious baby and I will die for this mf

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

Not many, usually the people I follow are in the same fandoms as I am but I’ve seen some mutuals reblog some Hadestown stuff which is a play that I’ve never seen but definitively would because the protagonists look hot

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES IT MEAN

it took me three hours to do this but it was fun!! thank you bb <3

2 notes · View notes

blackcatanna · 4 years

Text

Playing Kazama's Route Because I Guess I Hate Myself Part 1: Kyoto Winds

So, I'm going to play through everybody's routes on Hakuoki and vent my feelings and frustrations on here! I've already done Saito and Iba but I will play them again soon, too. Next up is Kazama, mostly because I'm curious to find out if this fucker has any redeeming qualities. Maybe if you're into nonces. Idk.

Wow, I had forgotten how gloriously campy this intro is :') I love it so much!

Playing through the prologue because it sets the tone of blood, death and assholes. This game is much more violent, tragic and much less horny than I had predicted and I guess I'm into that.

Aw, Chizuru bae is so lonesome and vulnerable <3

Kodo flashback! HIIISSSSSSSSSS!!! >:(

Just taking a moment to appreciate how beautiful and romantic the nighttime environment and music is <3 At least, until people start getting slashed up X_X

OKAY GAME, WE GET IT: CHIZURU IS HORNY FOR HIJIKATA. GOD.

Okita is enjoying this waaay too much X_X

Chapter 1

WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE

Thank you for untying me, InouBAE!

THEY'VE BEEN DISCUSSING THE SITUATION SINCE MORNING BUT NOBODY THOUGHT TO SUGGEST MAYBE NOT REVEALING MORE SENSITIVE INFORMATION WHILE I'M IN THE ROOM?! I'm surrounded by idiots -_-

Apparently, "They are all truly gentlemen." Uh-huh.

Hooray for Chizuru calling out Okita for being a douche. And Hijikata for calling everyone a bunch of kids! Where is the lie? :')

Um, why has the camera zoomed in on Nagakura's crotch? Chizuru, please control your thirst. This is a life or death situation.

Now Saito's telling Okita to stop being a prick and Okita's response is, "hehe." X_X

Casual suicide jokes... Reminds me of my friends at uni X_X

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE 8O I can't see how this could possibly backfire...

OMG Kondou describing not recognising a girl as "The shame of a lifetime!" XD

"Maybe it's time you spilled your guts, kid." Is he... Is he telling me to commit seppuku?! O_O "I looked at him and nodded." GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD.

Although, with Harada threatening to strip me, suicide doesn't look like such a bad option X_X Tell me, Inoue, WHERE ARE THESE GENTLEMEN YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT?!

Feminist Hijikata wants to kill me regardless of gender :') We stan a woke queen.

Feminist icon Sanan also thinks that gender is irrelevant but doesn't want to kill me because THEIR JOB IS LITERALLY TO PROTECT PEOPLE.

You search so hard for Kodo and he turns out to be such a treacherous snake :'(

Bad feminist Hijikata calls the Shinsengumi "sons of bitches" for feeding me to him as his page. The Shinsengumi are strong, independent bitches in their own right.

Escaping execution but being quietly upset about having to wear ugly boy clothes for the foreseeable future is a mood.

More of Hijikata threatening to cut off Okita's tongue, please!

What does Chizuru have against afternoon drinking :P Clearly she has never enjoyed a long glass of Pimm's on a warm Summer afternoon! I guess she is pretty young...

Hijikata isn't here so can I please sneak out with you guys instead of staring at the wall all day?

Reeeeeeally want to pick the yes to dressing like a girl option but apparently that's not what Daddy Nonce wants :( HE'S NOT EVEN SHOWN UP YET AND HE'S ALREADY RUINING MY FUN! >:(

Well, now we're literally running away from Nagakura and Inoue. I'm getting High School flashbacks.

Wait, why is Heisuke being weird about Saito being in my room? Did this happen last time too? Maybe I just forgot or maybe it's because I was hanging out with Heisuke and Harada before...

This dinner is terrifying.

Survival of the fittest? More like survival of the FATTEST! Amirite? Anyone? No? I'll stop.

Takeda admittedly has a point about you not earning your place in the Shinsengumi. And he has great hair. So I can almost forgive him for being a mega bitch.

"His swordsmanship is decent, BUT he is well read and possesses a cunning mind for military science." Not sure if a translation error or Hijikata just hates nerds?!

Does accompanying Hijikata as his page get me bonus Kazama Sexy Points purely because it pisses Hijikata off?

Chizuru once again being in mortal peril but getting distracted by Iba's beautiful face is relatable af.

"Takeda huffed smugly to himself and WADDLED out of the store." What a majestic image we have been blessed with :') The bitchiest penguin ever to waddle this Earth!

Iba happily munching his bean jelly is a MOOD.

Chapter 2

Okita telling you that you're here to keep him company on his rounds is exactly the kind of bullshit that I'd expect from him X_X

Guess I'm just running into a battle...

Oh, it's Kazama. Sitting on the windowsill like the edgy bastard he is.

Aaaand he just killed a guy on his own side. Classic edgelord move.

And apparently I have to thank him for this display if I want him to be my waifu.

Seemingly, Chizuru is thirsty for this slut and is being REALLY FRICKING OBVIOUS ABOUT IT X_X

OH HE DID NOT JUST CALL ME THE SHINSENGUMI'S BITCH. Although, it is somewhat accurate XD STILL A DICK MOVE AFTER I THANKED HIM SO NICELY, THOUGH.

AND HE SAYS THAT I HAVE MANNERS, BUT WHERE ARE YOUR FREAKING MANNERS, YOU EDGY THOT?!!!

I have a feeling that a lot of this will be typed in caps from now on -_-

Oooh he winked! I cannot handle this intense eroticism!

Surprise Saito! My favourite flavour of surprise (see, "Shinsengumi's bitch")!

The Shinsengumi are grateful for my efforts and, thus, have gifted me with the great gift of sweeping <3

Hijikata and Iba are so cute <3

Kazama's being edgy again X_X and murdering people. Classic Kazama.

Oh wow, he's actually calling us peasants.

Aw, we're talented peasants <3 How generous of him!

HOW DARE HE TRASH TALK OKITA LIKE THAT! Wow, I'm actually defending that asshole X_X

Hijikata baring his teeth like an angry doggo XD

I'm super mad at Kazama for killing that poor Shinsengumi guy :'( Such a thoughtless waste of life :'(

Now he's mocking Nagakura's obedience to the Shogun. What are your lofty ideals, Kazama? Ah yes, you want to subjugate and enslave the human race. How... noble...

Okay, so, apparently, Kazama is being a huge, murderous pain in the ass because he's just OH SO CONCERNED for the pride of his human allies. I don't buy it.

Ah, Hijikata called Kazama a petulant child :') Truer words were never spoken!

Okay, now Hijikata is saying that they don't deserve an honourable death?! Wow, Hijikata. That comment is not going to age well, I can tell you.

So maybe I agree with Kazama here!? He still shouldn't have murdered that guy, though.

I seriously don't understand why Hijikata is so keen to slaughter these guys and potentially lose more of his men just to force them to suffer a shameful death?! Maybe he doesn't see dying that way as dishonourable but I have no patience for people forcing their ideals onto others.

Aaah! Kazama throwing Hijikata's insult back in his face is pretty brilliant!

Kazama just sliced me in the face! Sexy?!

Sexy Points with Kazama because he's confirmed your full BROOD MARE potential.

Kazama likes calling people bitches so we have that in common.

So, now Hijikata respects them for committing seppuku?! I am CONFUSED.

Oh, now I'm getting Itou's origin story?! This is unexpected!

Wait, have I broken the game and accidentally romanced Kondou?! What is happening right now?! X_X

Oooh! I'm getting sword training! Yes please! This is better than sex :D

Feminist icon Kondou isn't going easy on me just because I'm a girl :D

Chapter 3

Aka: Sanan's breakdown!

"Those were his last words." O_O I... hope that that's not true...

Okay, now he's throttling me! I take it back! Somebody fillet this crazy fucker!

OMG WAS THAT CRUNCHING SOUND MY NECK?!

But why is he choking me when he could be sipping on my delicious blood? O_o

The awkward moment when your creepy brother is a hotter woman than you X_X

Apparently, Kazama's gazing at me with bloodlust. How romantic.

Haha! Apparently Kazama's hand is "pale and grasping like the tentacle of some hideous subterranean monster." X_X Hot.

Yay! Rescued from tentai boi by HajiBAE and SanoCUTEY! And Harada is calling out Kazama for being a creep :') This is a good day.

Kazama's response burn is weak. The culture and the nose of a dog? What does that even mean? Even if Harada's nose looked like a dog's, that'd still be pretty weak, imo.

Ha! Saito's response is basically just an Uno reverse card but I'm always here for calling Kazama out on his hypocrisy.

Omg, now Yamazaki is kidnapping me and Shiranui's calling him out! None of these hos have any chill!

Amagiri is taking a break from fighting to read Shiranui for being a hotheaded pain in the arse.

Hijikata is rightfully calling me an idiot for drawing my sword on Kazama :')

Kazama's insults are so blunt and childish but it's so funny! He just called Hijikata a weak shit! Apparently, fighting him is an honour and Hijikata isn't giving this diva the attention he believes he deserves.

Hijikata needs to stop calling me Kid X_X

"Sleazebag" = accurate.

Ooh, Sanan is paying me a late night visit! How risqué!

Of course I want to learn more about the water of life but The Grand High Nonce would apparently disapprove so I guess I'll have to wait until another route to find out :'(

Apparently Kazama's not going to abduct me TODAY. How reassuring.

I relate to Kazama admiring the beauty of the temple but he lost me by being a hypocrite again. Apparently, he doesn't understand how humans can destroy their creations with their wars. KAZAMA IS FIGHTING WITH THE PEOPLE WHO WANTED TO BURN KYOTO AND THEY PARTIALLY SUCCEEDED. Kazama can only destroy things, as far as I can tell.

Now he's ranting about how they lie, deceive and kill. Pot kettle black? "If they want something, they'll steal it." UGH, KAZAMA, YOU HAVE REPEATEDLY TRIED TO STEAL ME YOU HYPOCRITICAL FUCKWIT. HE'S SO FRUSTRATING. SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE COMBINATION OF PRETENTION, HYPOCRISY, CRUELTY, HUBRIS, I could go on XD I should stop... For now...

AAAAAH HE JUST SAID NOT TO TRUST THE SHINSENGUMI BECAUSE THEY KILL THEIR OWN MEN WITHOUT BATTING AN EYELASH. THAT'S WHAT KAZAMA DOES WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HIM! BUT I GUESS IT DOESN'T COUNT TO HIM BECAUSE THE MAN WASN'T PART OF HIS SUPERIOR RACE!

Sen = <3

Chapter 4 (This is where I went to sleep)

I feel like we could have got away with killing the guy who was SENTENCED TO DEATH if fricking Sanan hadn't shown up and revealed his alive-ness!

Aw, Itou is concerned about my arm!

Aaaaand he's ruined it by being a cunt XD "Would you like to know?" "Yes." "I won't tell you." X_X

Heisuke, Saito... HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME... WHEN I NEEDED TO... POSSES YOU... I HATED YOU; I LOVED YOU TOO... BAD DREAMS IN THE NIGHT.... *Continues singing Wuthering Heights and dances around the room dramatically*

"And then they were gone" :'(

Tbf, I'd be pretty mad if my comrades had been doing such dangerous, fucked up experiments behind my back.

"I am more concerned about the soldiers being left behind." - lies!

Wait, Sanan knew Itou "really well"?! Their only interaction until now was Itou being a mega-douche to him. I have so many questions!

Aw, Sanan trusts that our friendlings will return <3

Ooh! Going on a manju adventure with YAM!

Kazama strolling down the street and everybody being pushed out of the way by the douchebag waves rolling off of him.

Okay, so Kazama has come here alone to get pissed amongst humans?! That seems implausible...

"I might even allow you to pour me a drink." BLEUGH BLETCH BLUUURGH.

I CANNOT WITH THIS THOT AND HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT. HOW DARE HE BRAG ABOUT HOW COOL AND DOWN WITH THE KIDS HE IS TO BE DRINKING WITH HUMANS AND THEN SLAG ME OFF FOR ASSOCIATING WITH HUMANS?!

If I'm supposedly so curious about the demon lifestyle, can I PLEASE just run away with Sen? :'(

WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHAT I WANT?!? X_X I WANT TO GO WITH THE COOL DEMON LADIES!!!

"Yukimura. What do you have to say about this?" FINALLY!!! THANK YOU, KONDOU!

I really want to go but the game won't let me XD

Souji is correct. I clearly have rocks for brains XD

"Gosh" Appropriate reaction.

AAAAAAAAND MY BELOVED SHINSENGUMI IS IMMEDIATELY ENDANGERED BY MY POOR DECISIONS.

Ooh! Physical contact with Kazama! Sure, he's violently grabbing me but this thirsty bitch will take what she can get XD

Harada has the best put downs :') "Barging in here to get yourself a wife! You think you'd get the point by now after all these rejections..."

"You fools have no idea of her worth." BITCH I AM A well, not human but SENTIENT BEING! THEY TREAT ME WITH MORE RESPECT THAN YOU EVER DID YOU MASSIVE CREEP. I AM MORE THAN JUST A WOMB, YOU HO!!!

"She is most valuable when used by a fitting partner." THA FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!???! NOPENOPENOPE. A FITTING PARTNER WOULD NOT "USE" ME, BITCH.

"HA! So you decide to take her against her will just because you're too scared of the rejection you'll get from flat-out asking her out, huh?" YES HARADA!!! YOU CALL OUT THIS FUCKING NONCE!!! ALL RAPISTS ARE COWARDS!!! "You're so lame and creepy." WHERE IS THE LIE?!??

Meanwhile, Hijikata just makes it clear that he'd happily slice through me. Good to know.

I shall WIGGLE my way out of this situation! What do you mean it didn't work?!

YAAAS KONDOU! YOU FIGHT THAT BITCH!!!

OMG I JUST FELL ON TOP OF OKITA AND NOW HE'S SLUT SHAMING ME! XD

"Tell me... How is it? On top of me. Does it feel good?" O_O O_O O_O This game just got a lot more spicy!

Just fuck already! If only to piss off Kazama X_X

Aw, poor sick Okita <3

How dare they mention that the new HQ has a huge bath for warriors to bathe together and not have another thirst scene :P

Now Harada and Nagakura are slut shaming each other for having their tiddies out in Winter :')

Does this count as sexposition? Politics + tiddies?

"Itou dies." This is what happens when you base a game around true events! Problems aren't solved with the power of love and friendship! X_X

YES SAITO, PLEASE PROTECT ME FROM THIS MURDEROUS NONCE!

Chapter 5

At least in the normal route where nobody loves me, I don't get shot at by cannons O_O

There are a lot of typos in this chapter already. Perhaps the developers didn't expect anyone to be INSANE enough to romance Kazama.

DON'T TELL THIS RANDOM GUY YOUR PLANS YOU FOOL!!! IF THIS GETS INOUE KILLED, IMMA BE SO MAD!!!

NO INOUE!!! DON'T DRINK THE CRAZY JUICE!!!

NOOOOOO!!!! INOOOUUUUEEEE!!! :'(

Yes Queen, you call out those murdering cowards :'(

FFS I just got hella shot X_X

NO YOU GUYS ARE THE MONSTERS!!!

Apparently, I'm a "Noble Demon specimen" BITCH WHERE?!

"Why was Kazama helping me?" UM, HAVEN'T WE BEEN THROUGH THIS?! BECAUSE HE WANTS TO "USE" YOUR FERTILE WOMB TO BREED A NEW LINE OF DEMON CHILDREN.

"Shoot me? To death?" XD

"Kazama glared coldly at the pile of dismembered corpses on the floor" :') So romantic!

OMG IT'S THE BETTER DRESSED VERSION OF ME!!!

"Actually a man." UM, A CHILD, SEEMINGLY.

The whole creepy demonic family together at last :')

STOP CALLING ME ADORABLE AND LITTLE YOU CREEPY DEMON CHILD.

"What you're doing is disgraceful." YOU TELL HIM KAZAMA.

"Mind if I kill your family, right here and now?" O_O Kazama has zero chill! Thanks for asking, though, I guess. Go for it, Kazama XD

Oh, apparently I'm going to "talk to them" X_X

"Kodo, I could murder you over a thousand times, and it still wouldn't be enough for me." This is the most I've ever liked Kazama.

Doesn't Kazama work directly with Kodo in various routes?

Why can't I vanish like smoke? :'( Where are MY cool demon powers? :'(

"Turns out the only one capable of keeping you safe when you needed them most was me -- not them." HOW DARE YOU!!! INOUE GAVE HIS LIFE PROTECTING ME AND YOU'VE NEVER PUT YOUR OWN PRECIOUS NECK OUT THERE FOR ANYONE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE YOU POMPOUS ASS!!! YOU'VE NEVER HAD TO WORK FOR ANYTHING IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE, HAVE YOU?! YOU WERE BORN A DEMON PRINCE AND THAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE?!? BECAUSE YOU HAVE POWERS YOU DIDN'T EARN?!

"If your idea of a good time is seeing the rotting corpses of your friends, be my guest..." 8_8 :'( No, they can't all be dead! Surely not! Kazama don't say things like that!

The Yodo are going to betray the Shogunate?!? I must warn them D:

Wow, this just got heavy and real sad.

Wait, did he just admit to meddling in the war?! He is such a hypocrite!!!! Aaaaaaah!!! Somebody call him out on his bs!!!!

SEN AND KIMIGIKU <3 SAVE ME!

Even Shiranui sees that humans have a variety of complex motivations X_X

I AM NOT YOUR FUTURE WIFE!!!!

Do the Shinsengumi just assume that I'm dead?!

Great, now I'm on a road trip with this cunt.

"I've never actually been this close to a man before..." Calm down! That horse is third wheeling so hard right now. And what about that time you fell ON TOP OF Okita?!

Welp, that's it for Kyoto Winds! Onwards to Edo Blossoms! I still don't like Kazama but at least murdering the ever-loving FUCK out of Kodo is a cause that I can believe in. Although, one of the reasons that I hated Kodo in Saito's route was because he was helping the same sex pest I'm now galloping across the country with. Huh.

This is the most that I’ve ever used the word, “nonce” in my entire life and this is only the first game.

#hakuoki #hakuouki #kyoto winds #kazama chikage #watch me lose my marbles #Spoilers #sorry kazama fans #so many words

16 notes · View notes

astxlphe · 4 years

Note

Poker Pair for the shipping meme?

Rate the Ship

How long will they last?

For a while. They're doing this for as long as they can. No one really knows. For now they're happy and they don't like thinking about it.

How quickly did/will they fall in love?

Look, Tyki likes to pretend he has high standards you know? But Allen showed up, and he was all "hey, I play poker, and I'm also a bit of a shithead but I like to be nice sometimes" and Tyki was. Gone.

How was their first kiss?

Messy and kinda awkward. Also it was a dare because Tyki lost, again, to Allen.

Wedding:

Who proposed?

They're both kinda laid back about that whole wedding thing, they're fine the way they are, but Allen threw the idea once, and Tyki was like..."yeah" and that was it.

Who is the best man/men?

Sheryl tries to make Tyki choose him, but he goes for Wisely instead. On Allen's side, its Lavi (tho he threatens to choose Kanda instead once when Lavi stole one of his snacks)

Who is the bride's maid(s)?

Road! And Lena!

Who did the most planning?

Tyki, who knows a lot more about weddings than Allen does (and much more than he ever wanted to know until now). Also because Sheryl pushes him to do it.

Allen takes cares of the cake tasting tho.

Who stressed the most?

Tyki gets...some doubts about it? Bc romance has never been his thing you know. Sheryl tried to push him to get married before, but be was always resistant to it. But everytime he thinks about Allen it makes it better.

How fancy was the ceremony?

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

They were this close to eloping and getting married far, far away from Sheryl, Road and everyone who is waaay too enthusiastic about this and try to make a big deal about it.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?

Leverier (look, Leverier is not invited to anyone's wedding. Ever)

Sex - disclaimer I'm not very good at talking about this

Who is on top?

Allen

Who is the one to instigate things?

Depends. Sometimes Allen is, but most of the time its Tyki bc he's the one who is into it the less. I

How healthy is their sex life? And how frequently do they have sex?

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

Tyki is asexual and very much not into that. But since Allen knows about it, they almost never do it, because they spent a lot of time talking about boundaries and coming to an arrangement they both like.

How kinky are they?

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

They're. Mild? They don't have a lot of sex, and its mostly oral.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms?

Allen gets most of them. Tyki might ask Allen for one sometimes. When he feels like it.

How rough are they in bed?

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

They treat each other like they're delicate, but Allen sometimes says Tyki is too soft.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 |9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory

They cuddle on the couch to watch movies. In public they stand pretty close to each other. Also Tyki likes to put his hand in Allen's back pocket. Also they're that couple that kiss on public transport.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally?

None

How many children will they adopt?

They hand Eze adoption papers and tell him they're his dads now.

But, like, Tyki's more of a "fun uncle" type, but he's pretty good with kids, so he and Allen would definitely sit down and talk about seriously.

BUT it would be an older kid, not a baby.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers?

No one

Who is the stricter parent?

Allen. Tyki is...pretty permissive.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school?

Allen! He can be a bit of a worrywart

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)?

Allen still! Most of the time...

Who is the more loved parent?

I would say Tyki bc Allen acts more like a parent? As I said, Tyki has more of a fun uncle vibe than a dad vibe, and the kid loves that.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

Tyki! But he and Allen sometimes go together

Who cried the most at graduation?

...its Tyki, but shhhhh, don't tell anyone

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law?

It's a team effort on this one, though Allen is a bit better.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking?

Tyki! He actually a pretty decent cook. He has a "kiss the cook" apron which was a joke gift.

Who is the most picky in their food choice?

Tyki again! That's why he is the one who cooks btw.

Who does the grocery shopping?

Allen, but they make the list together

How often do they bake desserts?

Not often, but when they do they end up with dough everywhere. Especially on the tip of Tyki's nose.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater?

Meat lovers. And Tyki likes fish.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner?

Tyki! He knows about all the nice restaurants in town, or can make the dinner himself

Who is more likely to suggest going out?

Tyki

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking?

Allen. He's also a decent cook, but not as good as Tyki

Chores:

Who cleans the room?

Allen!

Who is really against chores?

Tyki. He also doesn't like tidying much.

Who cleans up after the pets?

Tyki. They have an arrangement tho. If Allen cleans the room, Tyki cleans the dog. And the other way around.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug?

Tyki!

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over?

They don't stress, unless its Cross. Or Adam.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning?

Tyki! He actually had to stick his hand through the cushion to get it but hey! It's a dollar!

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths?

Allen

Who takes the dog out for a walk?

They take turn, especially when it's the middle of the night

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays?

They don't do holidays much, except Halloween, and Easter, bc candies uh.

What are their goals for the relationship?

To have fun and live as much as they can together?

Who is most likely to sleep till noon?

Allen. Tyki is a surprisingly early riser.

Who plays the most pranks?

Allen!

Thanks for the ask anon! I actually remembered I likes this ship when you sent it!

(I feel like I'm getting better at answering those...)

#dgm #poker pair #tyki mikk #allen walker #tyki is ace and I'll stand with this headcanon until the day i die

23 notes · View notes

the-good-noodle-kf · 5 years

Text

The Happiest Place on Earth (is When We’re Together)

@saiouweek Day 1: Disney

In which Shuichi loves everything about Kokichi, from his unbreachable veil of lies, to his annoying, yet somehow unexplainably endearing personality, and everything in between (but he can’t admit it because he thinks Kokichi might be lying about his own feelings towards Shuichi.)

Also, they go to Disney World together! :} :}

Rated T: for crude language and sexual innuendos.

If any of Shuichi’s friends were asked who was obviously into Shuichi, everyone would know with absolute certainty that the correct answer was Kokichi Oma.

Everyone except, of course, Shuichi Saihara.

It was painfully obvious. If Miu and Keebo, the very definition of an eccentric couple, were asked, Miu would probably explain that watching Kokichi fawn over Shuichi helplessly was more painful than some unusual masochistic kink that she had, causing Keebo to flusteredly agree (with a look of shameful recognition at the kink).

If Kaito or Maki, two of Shuichi’s friends who have been dating for almost a year now, were asked, they would probably mention the time when Kokichi had, very annoyingly, made a spectacle out of movie night last month. He continuously attempted to sit on Shuichi’s lap, and even went so far as to turn off the movie right before the main characters’ love confession and do his own theatrical rendition of confessing his love to Shuichi (He also put raw eggs in everyone’s hot chocolate but that’s not the point).

Kaito considers Shuichi his closest bro, but his sidekick should’ve been smart enough to know that no, it wasn’t just a joke, and yes, Kokichi is totally and helplessly in love with him.

Even if Himiko and Tenko were asked, Tenko, who explicitly holds no interest, or even a negative amount interest, if that were possible, in the happenings between degenerate males, would say that Kokichi is more obvious with his crush than Tenko was herself towards Himiko before the two got together, and that says a lot. Himiko, despite her laziness, might even nod in agreement.

Which is why, Kaito eagerly accepted when Kokichi suggested that the four of them go to Disney World. Kaito’s been to Disney once, back when he was a kid. His grandparents took him to Magic Kingdom and he got to ride rides, watch fireworks at night, and go on Space Mountain three times; he never wanted to leave. He also remembered staying in a hotel room where he got a queen bed all to himself.

Going on a trip with Maki, Kokichi and Shuichi might be a good chance for his sidekick to finally get some sense knocked into him. He could only secretly hope that they would stop skirting around the issue and finally confess what was obvious to all of their friends. The idea was simple at first - Kaito could go off with Maki for a little bit during the vacation, since they were dating anyway, thus giving the detective and the leader some alone time to process their feelings.

But then Miu heard about it and invited herself and Keebo along.

Then Tenko heard about it and thought it would be lots of fun for Himiko and her to go too.

So, now they are on a bus towards their Disney resort hotel, all eight of them; three couples plus Kokichi and Shuichi.

They’d gotten two rooms, connected by a door.

Checking in doesn’t take too long, luckily, and soon enough, they’re heading up to the rooms that’ll serve as their bedrooms for the next week or so.

Since there are two queens per room, Kaito figures Tenko and Himiko will get one, Miu and Keebo will share another, he and Maki will sleep in the third, and Kokichi and Shuichi will be left with the last one. Kaito knows it’s a little cruel to force Kokichi to share a bed with his crush, but this has gone on long enough.

However, despite his best bro being a detective, Shuichi doesn’t seem to realize this upcoming predicament when they drop their luggage off and then head to Disney Springs for dinner.

“This shit’s fuckin’ amazing,” Kaito admits.

“You’re damn right it is!”

Miu had been the one to book a reservation at the restaurant, claiming that if she was going to Disney, she would be eating some fried chicken. The others were pretty indifferent about it, and since only Kaito was adamant on eating burgers (Shuichi reasoned that he could get a burger at Magic Kingdom), they went along with it.

She was purposely moaning loudly while stuffing her face with chicken, much to the dissatisfaction of the rest of the group... and everyone else in the restaurant.

Tenko’s nose crinkles. “Your degenerate male tendencies are going to get us banned from Disney Springs!”

“Yeah!” Kokichi instigates, biting into his own chicken. “See! Even Tenko thinks you’ve got the sex drive of a horny old man.”

“Poor Keebo...” Himiko adds tiredly.

“Don’t twist Tenko’s words!” She chastises the supreme leader, not willing to side with such a degenerate.

“You’re no fun.” Kokichi crosses his arms.

“Hah-hahaa!” Miu rubs it in his face.

Kokichi presses his lips together. “Sow.”

“Heeeee!”

“This experience reminds me of Kurisumasu,” Keebo says, not reading the current mood of the table very well.

“This chicken is better,” Himiko says, “I can already feel my MP being restored.”

“I agree with Himiko!”

“Hey Shuichi eat this mushy stuff.” Kokichi points to the food on his plate with a fork.

“It’s mashed potatoes,” Shuichi informs him.

‘No waaay, I thought it was really overcooked rice! But, that’s a lie. I know what mashed potatoes are. Now eat them!” Kokichi sticks his fork into the buttery potatoes.

“Kokichi-!” Shuichi widens his eyes as Kokichi lifts the fork near his mouth and waves it around. He’s pretty sure that Kokichi’s trying to feed him and he can’t stop his face from turning red at the action.

Miu mumbles something that sounds distinctly like, “Shota virgin.”

Keebo tears his eyes from the opposite side of the table and glances back and forth between the two. “Excuse me for interrupting, but fried chicken is generally considered a finger food, correct?” Keebo inquires.

“Yeah, what about it?” Miu speaks from beside him with a full mouth.

Keebo seems startled, “Oh, it’s nothing!”

Miu turns to look towards Keebo’s line of sight. Sitting there is Maki, eating her chicken with a fork and a knife.

Himiko tilts her head. “Nyeh?”

Maki looks away. “If I have oily fingers, I can’t properly hold my weapons.”

“Harumaki! We’re at Disney! You don’t need your weapons.”

“Plus! If any degenerate males approach us I can defend everyone with my Neo-Aikido!” She strikes a defensive pose.

“Hmph.” Maki puffs out her cheeks.

Himiko chimes in eagerly, “and I can help too! With my magic.”

“That’s a great idea Himiko! We can be the degenerate-fighting team!”

She purses her lips, less animated than she was a second ago. “But I’m low on mana so I’ll have to collect some later.”

“I will help you!” Tenko encourages.

“Is that code for you guys ditching us later to go fuck?” Miu’s question is as brazen as her personality.

The Aikido Master gasps. “Tenko would never!”

“Nee-heehee, like you aren’t gonna do that with Keebo, pervert.”

“Nnnnnnn,” Miu groans, “I didn’t mean it like that...”

“Himiko! Cover your ears!”

“Nyeh… okay.”

“Um, can we not talk about this ever again?” Kaito suggests.

“Oh, like you and Maki are innocent. Ah-haha!” Miu goads.

A fork and knife clatter on Maki's plate. “Do you want to die?”

“Heeeeyyyy server! Can we get some mayo and ketchup over here pleeeaase?” Kokichi takes a sip of his glass of panta.

“Wh-” Shuichi begins.

“Kokichi, what do you need mayo for? This isn’t omurice or okonomiyaki.” Keebo states the obvious.

“Shut up Keeboy, or I’ll have one of my subordinates turn you into the robot you truly are inside!”

“Please do not do that!”

“He’s obviously lying!” Kaito points out.

Kokichi laces his fingers behind his head, leaning back in his chair smugly as the server disappears into the kitchen. “Besides. I need it to pour in Keebo’s hair.”

“Do not do that either!”

Shuichi scratches his cheek. “Ah, Keebo, I think Kokichi is just kidding.”

“Waaaahhhh, my beloved is outing my lies now?! How cruel.”

“Kokichi…”

“Kokichi, you should be more grateful to Shuichi. He’s willing to continue dating you even though you always lie!”

Everyone goes silent.

“Um.” Shuichi’s eyebrows are raised so high that they’re hidden under his hair.

“Keebo, they’re not-” Kaito starts explaining as he scratches his head awkwardly.

Kokichi harshly bangs his glass of panta down on the table before grinning and interrupting Kaito. “Nee-heehee! Keeboy is such a robot that he can’t even comprehend relationships!”

“...have I miscalculated?”

Kaito puts his face in his palm. “No shit.”

“Hah-hahahah!” Miu pats Keebo on the back.

“I do not understand. Judging by how Kokichi acts around Shuichi, it can only be concluded that the two of them are in a romantic relationship.”

“That-” Shuichi begins but Kokichi buts in before he can finish.

“Well, you’ve calculated wrong. Me and Shumai are in a fully-completely-one-hundred-percent-platonic-friendship, isn’t that right Shuichi?”

“I-”

“Then why do you, Kokichi, call Shuichi your beloved, and give him pets names like Shumai? Also, you attempted to feed him earlier, which, if I am correct, is a behavior that in this context has slight romantic implications.”

“Maybe Kokichi’s under a love spell…”

Kokichi ignores her. “Huuuuh? Nicknames? I don’t call Shuichi any nicknames. And why would I feed him?”

“You just-”

“Hmmm? Is Keeboy making up lies? Movies have always taught me that the robots would turn against us, but I didn’t think it’d happen this soon!”

“You’re the one who’s lying!” Keebo argues, eyes narrowed.

“Nope, I never lie.”

“If you keep going you’re gonna break him.” Kaito warns.

“Oooooo, my mayo and ketchup is here.” He adds some mayo to the mashed potatoes and Kaito raises an eyebrow. “What?”

Kaito shrugs.

They walk around the shops after they’re done eating. It’s not long after they all try out samples of various soaps at one of the stores.

Shuichi has to convince Kokichi not to climb on the giant lego dragon outside the lego store. Luckily, he succeeds, but barely. And suddenly, it’s just him and Kokichi. Miu and Keebo have completely gone missing for the time being (Kokichi’s accusation from earlier might’ve been more likely than either of them thought), Tenko and Himiko went inside the World of Disney shop for souvenirs, and Kaito sort of just started acting weird once all the others were gone and pretended that he and Maki left something behind at the restaurant.

“Hey Shuichi,” Kokichi stands tall, seeming determined about something.

“Hmm?”

He is silent for a few seconds before he quickly masks his lost nerve and grins. “...oh, nothing. I just wanted to say Shuichi.”

Shuichi raises an eyebrow; he can tell it’s a lie but doesn’t bother to call him out on it.

“Don’t you know my beloved? I’ll die if your eyes aren’t always on me!” Kokichi dramatizes as they skip along towards… something. Shuichi doesn’t know where they’re going, but he’s not gonna stop him, even if it might end up getting them lost.

Shuichi offers a small smile and Kokichi stops and gives him a look, and Shuichi isn’t sure what it means. Kokichi almost looks sad, but he also looks really happy. It doesn’t really make sense.

“Hey Shuichi, did I ever tell you about that time my organization kidnapped the owner of the Coca-Cola Company until they told us all their secret recipes?”

Is that so?” Shuichi plays along, amused.

“Yup! Now I don’t even need to buy panta because I have my underlings producing mass quantities and selling it on the dl.”

Shuichi chuckles, “ah, but then how do you explain you buying a glass during dinner?”

“You caught me! As expected of my favorite detective.”

“Aren’t I the only detective you know?”

“Nope! I know thousands of detectives, and you’re still my favorite.”

“Are there any stores that you want to visit Kokichi?”

“Mmmm, nope! But that’s a lie. I was gonna go into all of the jewelry stores and steal all of the expensive gems.” Kokichi conspiratorially rubs his hands together.

“Don’t say things like that so loud! You’ll get us in trouble.”

“Nee-heehee!”

“Let’s… go look inside World Of Disney.” Shuichi suggests.

“Okie Dokie!”

They go in the store and can hear Tenko yelling - most likely at some helpless guy - about her neo-aikido skills and scolding him against any funny business. Shuichi decides it might be a wise decision to not get involved, so he and Kokichi go off browsing without finding them. They’ll all be meeting up later anyway, so it’s no big deal.

Kokichi pulls Shuichi along by the sleeve and coos at all the Disney merch.

“Now you’re Shuichi Mouse!” Kokichi exclaims after pushing a pair of mickey mouse ears onto Shuichi’s head. His ahoge still sticks up right behind the accessory and Kokichi grins.

Shuichi smiles and offers a pair to Kokichi who puts on the identical pair and proudly proclaims, “now I can be the rat I truly am! Nee-heehee!”

“But wouldn’t you be Kokichi Mouse?” Shuichi wonders aloud as they both put the pairs of ears back.

“Hmmm, nope!” Kokichi tries to act nonchalant, but Shuichi thinks he might be blushing as he turns away and pulls them towards some Disney plushies. Then again, he might just be imagining it.

“They should have a wider range of plushies, don’t you think so Shuichi?”

“Ah, there already seem to be a lot of plushies…” There are. There’s got to be shelves and shelves full of various different characters.

“You’re right Shuichi! I was lying. There are more plushies here than I could fit in your tiny apartment!”

Shuichi quietly responds with his hand covering his mouth, “...it’s not that tiny.”

But Kokichi’s already on to the next subject. “So, mister detective, what is your favorite Disney character?”

Shuichi brings a hand to his chin. “I don’t know. I don’t really have any preference. What’s yours Kokichi?”

“Hmmm… stitch! And that’s not a lie.”

“Ah…”

Kokichi runs towards the T-shirts in the next second, calling “c’mon Shumai!” As he gets farther away from the plushies. Shuichi picks one of the stitch plushies up and follows along.

“Kokichi?!?” Tenko recoils as she sights the two, “did you follow us in here, degenerates?”

Himiko points at the leader. “That’s impossible! I cast a high-level invisibility spell. Only a level ninety-nine mage would’ve been able to see through it.”

“Whaaaat? It was definitely you who followed us two,” Kokichi feigns ignorance.

Tenko ignores this, “where are Maki and the other three degenerates?”

“Miu is still a girl, y’know.”

“Shush! I didn’t ask for your input.”

“But I still gave it , aw phooey.”

“Hmph!” Tenko crosses her arms and turns away.

“Did the others get captured by an evil wizard?”

Shuichi answers, “Kaito and Maki went to get something they left behind, and Miu and Keebo are…”

“Fucking!” Kokichi finishes for him cheerfully.

Tenko swivels back around, “how dare you poison Himiko’s innocence with your indecency!”

“Well, I gotta go pay for this… is anyone else coming on line?”

“Of course I will Himiko!”

“Not you! It’s supposed to be a surprise,” she tells Tenko. “Shuichi, this is a task even low-level mages can do,” she says as she tugs him towards the line.

“I’m gonna head in the shower,” Kaito announces as he throws his jacket on the bed. Keebo’s the last to enter the room; the door shuts behind him with a click.

“Dinner was a lot of fun!” Keebo remarks with an enthusiasm that the rest of them are too tired to mimic.

“There’s still a bathroom in the other room if anyone needs it,” Kaito reminds them as he grabs some shampoo from his luggage.

Kokichi’s already practically marked one of the two beds in the room as his, his hair is splayed out on top of the sheets, and he’s pretending to sleep.

On the next bed over, Himiko actually is sleeping.

“Boys can sleep in the other room!” Tenko adamantly recommends.

Kokichi cracks an eye open and turns to her. “Who else is-” and then he cuts himself off. His mouth forms an oh as he glances at Shuichi. Shuichi gives him a small, embarrassed wave. Kokichi turns back to the Aikido Master and tells her, “fine, if you wanna sleep in the same room as Miu. She might molest you in your sleep, though.”

“Heeee! Wh-what? I wouldn’t molest anyone…”

“Lies! You molested Keeboy earlier!” he proclaims.

“That’s not true!” Keebo argues defensively.

Tenko puts her hands on her hips and declares, “Me and Himiko will share a room with Maki and Kaito then! The less boys the better!”

“Fiiiiiine, me and Shuichi will sleep in the other room.” Kokichi groans and reaches for his and Shuichi’s luggage. “Hmmm? Shuichi! You got a souvenir without telling me?” He holds up the plastic bag. “Waaaaaaahhhhhh, Shuichi doesn’t trust me.”

Shuichi waves his hands frantically, “N-no! Kokichi, you’ve got it wrong!” He reaches into the bag and pulls out a plushie, “...I… got it… for you.” Shuichi looks away and happens to meet Miu’s face.

Her nose scrunches up in disgust. “Oh, get a room.”

“Um.. aren’t we already in one?” Shuichi asks.

Kokichi’s still gaping in shock at the little stuffed stitch. He snaps his mouth shut and for once doesn’t have anything to say.

“Hah! Cockichi’s finally learned how to shut up.”

The statement allows Kokichi to find his voice. “You should learn how to shut up!” Kokichi yells, but even that can’t hide the fiery blush creeping up his cheeks. He thinks that maybe he can pass it off as an anger-induced face reddening. He hopes so. Yet, he still grabs the plushie from Shuichi’s hands and squishes it tightly between his arms and his body.

Shuichi tries to hide the smile that appears on his face and picks up the luggage that Kokichi must’ve dropped, bringing it into the adjacent room.

Maki’s already sitting in the room, assembling some weapon that Shuichi frankly has no idea how she got there. Surely someone at airport security yesterday would’ve noticed it, right? He didn’t even notice anything amiss when they stayed at Keebo’s engineer friend’s home for the night to sleep off their jet lag. Shuichi would be startled to see her so suddenly if he wasn’t used to it. He hadn’t realized she left the other room, but he supposes she did, considering.

“Tenko wants you and Kaito to sleep in there.”

“Alright.” She nods and wordlessly leaves.

“Hey Shumai, now that we’re alone…” he begins. Shuichi raises an unsure eyebrow and the shorter man continues suspensefully, closing in on Shuichi, “we can… sleep!” he exclaims as he jumps onto the bed and pulls the covers over his head.

The detective chuckles and grabs his pajamas. “Do you want to use the bathroom first?”

“Nah, you go ahead.” Kokichi grins as he pulls a pair of his own pajamas out of his purple suitcase.

“O-okay.” Shuichi nods and goes to change into his PJs.

Miu takes that moment to burst in and toss her bag on the unoccupied bed. She lifts her shirt and Kokichi squints. “What the fuck Miu?”

“I’m putting on my pajamas, don’t look perv.”

He turns away. “You could say that before you start stripping in front of me. Don’t you have a boyfriend? Or does Keebo not count ‘cause he’s not a real boy?”

“Ha, like you aren’t gay for Shuichi.”

“Shut up, he’s in the other room.”

The sound of clothes scuffling stops. Miu struts over to the bathroom and bangs on the door. “Once you’re done nutting in there, I gotta brush my teeth!”

The sound of the sink water running stops and Shuichi opens the door. “I wasn’t doing that.”

“Hah-hahah! You don’t have to tell me what you do with your dick!” Miu laughs before pushing her way in.

Somehow, they all manage to get comfortable in their respective beds. Kokichi’s playing yahtzee against Shuichi on some app. Both of their faces are lit up under the covers from the light of each of their phones, allowing Shuichi to see Kokichi’s smug grin; the supreme leader is winning. They suddenly halt mid-game when they hear voices speak up from the bed beside theirs.

“C’mon, can’t we just do a little something?” Miu whines.

“That would not be appropriate!”

“I don’t mean everything, just some hand stuff.”

“Miu- not here. We’re not alone!”

“Pshh, so what? If we’re real quiet, they won’t hear us.”

Shuichi’s blushing up to his ears at this point. Kokichi seems pretty shocked too as they exchange awkward glances from under the covers, wondering if one of them should say something before this escalates.

Keebo sounds like he’s hesitating, “...I... don’t feel right about this.”

“Don’t worry about it, those twinks are probably sleeping already anyway.”

It’s the moment that Keebo seems to be about to give in that Kokichi decides he must do something, not only to preserve Shuichi’s innocence, but for the greater good (and the cleaning staff at the hotel). “Miu! You thirsty whore!” He jumps to his feet and points an accusing finger towards the girl.

“Heeeeee!”

“You just can’t keep it in your pants, can you?” Kokichi berates.

“My apologies,” Keebo intervenes, “it was my fault for letting it get this far.”

“Both of you!” he scolds, “if you’re gonna act like dogs in heat, I’m calling animal control!”

“Ah,” Shuichi struggles to form a sentence through his embarrassment.

“Okay! Fine! We don’t do it anymore…” Miu’s shoulders droop with a pout.

“Nope! I don’t believe you!” Kokichi grabs Shuichi’s arm and walks right up to the door joining their rooms, banging on it with his palm, the plushie hanging by its arm in his other hand.

Maki swings the inner door open and growls out a menacing, “ what? ” Her eyes have bags under them, and her hair is ruffled from sleep.

The leader’s eyes crinkle. “Nee-heehee, take it away Shuichi!” Kokichi pushes Shuichi forward and hides behind him like he’s a shield.

“If you wouldn’t mind… would you two please trade rooms with Kokichi and I?” he asks, gesturing to a very sleepy looking Kaito, confused about all the commotion.

Maki shoots them a glare, “why?”

Kokichi clasps his hands behind his head, grinning deviously, “ooooohhhhh, no reason.” He smirks.

“That’s not true,” Shuichi admits, before pointedly stating, “Miu is trying to seduce Keebo, but if you’re in the room, it’s highly possible that they won’t try anything funny,” he explains, like a true detective.

Maki’s tired, deadly eyes move towards a cowering Miu and a very anxious Keebo as she makes her decision. “Fine.”

Kaito shrugs behind her, yawns, and grabs their stuff before they walk in and get situated in the bed. The astronaut tosses them their stuff, gives them a thumbs up and then pretty much passes out on top of the sheets.

Kokichi grins cheerfully before flopping onto the bed next to Himiko and Tenko’s. Shuichi shuts the shared door and slides his luggage under the bed beside Kokichi’s.

He stands up and observes the situation at hand. “Would you mind moving over a little bit?”

“Nee-heehee!” Kokichi laughs before lifting his starfish-like limbs and moving to one side of the bed instead of the center.

As he climbs under the covers beside Kokichi, Shuichi glances over at a sleeping Tenko and Himiko in the bed next to theirs. He hopes Tenko doesn’t react too loudly to sharing a room with two boys in the morning.

I also posted this on my Ao3 Account

#saiouweek #oumasai #omasai #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #fanfic #saiou week #saiouweek day 1 #saiou week day 1 #disney omasai

62 notes · View notes

soyybeanboy · 6 years

Text

The truth about how I found out I was gay

When I’m telling my story about finding my sexuality and coming out, I waaay oversimplify it to make it fit in with everybody else’s experience. I make it sound like a linear struggle with a happy ending, when it was really a whole lot of back-and-forth for years. I don’t even really remember coming out, at least officially. I just kind of dropped hints until me and my family were on the same page. Even with my friends. It was never really dramatic or emotional, and because of that I feel like I can’t relate to a lot of other LGBTQ+ people and like my voice in a lot of community issues doesn’t really matter, because I “don’t get it.”

So, here’s the real story. Pure truth, and if I can’t remember exactly how something happened, I’ll say so.

I was in sixth grade when I first remember it coming up for me. I was sitting at my lunch table and decided to tell two girls, one of which I didn’t really know, that I had had a crush on a girl before. I don’t know why. I don’t even think I’d had a really memorable girl-crush at that point. Maybe I though I’d be seen as cool or unique for it. Which I’m very ashamed of to this day.

This was received well by one of the girls (who happened to be my best friend) and the other girl went and told two other girls in my class, who weren’t as okay with it. Specifically, I remember coming back from lunch and one of those girls stopping to ask,

“Is it true? That you’re...”

And because I knew what she was going to say, I answered, “Yeah.” To which she proceeded to make a face like she’d just smelled something bad, and then walk away. And that really upset me, because I was sensitive as a kid. I don’t really remember the timeline of events for the rest of that day, but I remember that it ended with me going home crying and “coming out” to my mom as gay. But I don’t count it as a real coming out, because I honestly still didn’t think I was gay. I wrote all of it off as me being dumb and childish and hoped that everyone could forget about it so that I could just go back to being straight, like a “normal person”. But it didn’t, because apparently actions have consequences or something. The girl who stopped me in the classroom must have told her brother about everything that went down. And so, he suddenly decided he hated me. He stopped me out my way out to the buses to tell me that people thought I was a lesbian, but at the time I didn’t actually know what lesbian meant. I don’t really remember anything else from there except that I learned what lesbian meant and that he made fun of me for the rest of the school year. I was not happy about it, but I mostly managed to avoid and ignore him. During the rest of that school year, I realized that I was developing a crush on my best friend, and yes, she was a girl. And it was weird for me, because despite everything that was happening, I still didn’t see it as ‘wrong,’ necessarily. I don’t really remember how I felt about it, honestly, except confused. Mostly because I wasn’t sure if it was actually a crush, or what. (Spoiler alert, it was. Past Sage, you are GAY.)

Enter seventh grade. That year was, in a lot of ways, better than sixth grade. For one, all that sixth grade drama was pretty much gone. We were all in a new school where we barely ever saw our old classmates, and even though I was still pretty embarrassed about what had happened, it wasn’t as big a deal. I didn’t have a crush on my best friend anymore, either. So, things just kind of went back to normal, kind of. But I was still kind of trying to repress it? I don’t know, it was always just something in the back of my mind. And I went through boy-crushes and stuff too, so it was kind of easy to just keep it down. And so, seventh grade was pretty uneventful, all in all.

Now, the summer before eighth grade. I had just moved overseas, and between culture shock and the loneliness of being in a new place, and frickin adolescence, my anxiety was going CRAZY. And, though I’m not sure exactly when it started, I began feeling a whole lot of anxiety around if I was gay or not. Everything that reminded me of anything related to being gay caused me so much anxiety that I had a physical reaction. It would give me that feeling of adrenaline, but kind of different... I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. But it didn’t feel good. And deep inside, I’m sure I did know, but I wasn’t sure. And that was the scariest thing about all of it. I like knowing things. And so when it’s like I’m supposed to know something about myself and I don’t, I just become terrified.

One day, my sisters and I were on the computer in the living room watching random music videos on YouTube, and they wanted to watch Katy Perry’s “Firework” music video. Now, in that video, there’s a scene where two guys kiss at a party. And when I saw it, I started internally freaking out. So, between that and spiraling thoughts of what might happen to me if I kept all of it bottled up, I went to my mom and started a very awkward conversation. I told her that I was worried about being gay or trans or something like that, and she told me that no matter what, she and my dad would love me. And I don’t know if it was how it satiated my fear of rejection or even just the relief of someone else finally knowing, but I started to feel better. And even though I had a ton of other things going on in my busy brain, my sexuality wasn’t something I really worried about anymore. I still was really anxious to have a fitting label and finally figure out who the frick I was attracted to, but it was less stressful than before.

The next year or so is kind of a blur, honestly. Eighth grade went by really fast, and I don’t remember much about it, sexuality-wise.

The beginning of ninth grade is when things started popping up again. I was still so insecure about my sexuality, but I still really wanted to come out to people (because at that point, I was kind of sure that I wasn’t straight, but I was still DEFINITELY in the questioning phase). I honestly don’t know why I wanted come out so badly. The same reason I did in sixth grade? My insane lack of patience?I don’t know.

The timeline of events I’m about to talk about might be completely out of order, but they all happened at some point, so I guess it doesn’t matter that much.

I came out to my group of friends more than once. First to all four of them as a group, very soon after we all met. Then to the two of them I was closest with. I came out to them separately because I wanted to make sure that they got the message and I wasn’t sure they had the first time, since I’d done it with a really out of the blue joke. Anyway, I actually told those two friends twice because my memory was so awful that I couldn’t remember that I’d done it before. Both times, they were super chill about it. Really awkward, but chill. But then, I started having a lot of anxiety over whether or not I was lying. Which is so dumb, right? But it was this huge internalized fear about whether or not I was deceiving people about this really serious thing. Part of it was because I came out to other people before I’d fully come out to myself, and figured myself out. Because I did this, I wasn’t sure if my label was going to change or if the label I’d told everyone I was (bisexual) was even really true. And so even though I lived with that fear, my lack of impulse control led me to come out to my aunt and one set of my grandparents before I was ready. Luckily, they were all really accepting and super cool about it, but then my fear only got worse. I thought, “If I end up figuring out that I’m straight, I’ll be in way to deep to ever say it!”

Spoiler alert, old Sage, YOU ARE GAY. CHILL OUT. But old Sage didn’t know that, and so she dealt with serious self-doubt and anxiety for the next year or so.

The next part of this story takes place online. I don’t really know when this happened exactly, but it was sometime during ninth grade, and maybe even part of the summer before. I joined a social media called Discord and made a lot of friends on there, one of which was a gay girl who I was really close with for a couple months. She asked me what I identified as, and I told her biromantic as almost a cop-out. Like “Haha yeah, girls are cute but I’d only have sex with men haHAA.” She was so cool about it, and through a bunch of conversations and a specific interaction involving her prompting me to draw my dream girl, I told her that she’d helped me reach my epiphany moment and that now I knew I was bisexual. But I was still unsure and I was still afraid of accidentally having lied to everyone, all because I had come out before I was ready and before I was sure.

And so, the anxiety continued. I started feeling anxious whenever I was attracted to a guy, maybe because I thought I wasn’t ‘gay enough’ and I had to only be attracted to girls or mainly to them in order to count. Anything other than gay was ‘cheating,’ I guess. I knew that attraction didn’t have to be 50-50, but it felt like it had to be that or more leaning towards feminine-presenting people in order to be valid. And it doesn’t! But I didn’t know that, and so anxiety stayed.

After that, things get blurry again. I slowly started meeting more people online and just gradually getting more comfortable with myself, and the anxiety kind of started going away a little bit. But then, I met a girl. And I honestly wasn’t sure what I felt for her. I couldn’t differentiate platonic from romantic love, and I was just confused, but because of my desperate need to be ‘gayer,’ I decided that I had a crush on her. Good choice, too. Because turns out, I did. (Guess my anxiety finally did one thing right.) And we started dating. Still though, early in our relationship, I was unsure of my feelings for her and felt even more anxiety because she was so affectionate and if it turned out that I was straight, I would have to break her heart, and I didn’t want to do that. Because as confused and anxious as I was, I knew that I cared about her.

This continued all the way up into February of 2018 where we met in person, and even beyond that. After we met in person, I was more sure of my romantic feelings for her, but all those years of doubt weren’t just going to let it go, so I kept worrying and I kept doubting. After that, it’s another blurry haze.

Now, as I’m writing this, it is July of 2018. It has taken me years, but I’m finally mostly comfortable with myself and the label I’ve chosen. I still have feelings of doubt, but they’re not as loud as they used to be, and it’s nice to finally be pretty much sure of something. I am pansexual, sometimes I say bisexual. I can choose which one I want or even flip back and forth, because I decide what my labels mean to me. I am attracted to people regardless of gender. My attraction to one gender in no way invalidates my attraction to another. I recently attended my first pride, and spent a day with other people like me. We have all struggled, and we’ve all had different struggles, but we all have one thing in common. And that is that we have pushed through, and that we’re going to be okay.

So, that’s the honest story about how I found myself. I left some things out that weren’t super important to the story, and condensed some details that would have made this way too long, but everything that I wrote is true and as I remember it. So, how about two rapid fire things that didn’t really fit anywhere in the story?

1. My parents and family are extremely accepting, and they do a lot to educate themselves, learn from me, and support me.

2. After I realized I was A Homo, I also realized that I have potentially had a gay crush before that I was too young and too uneducated to recognize as one. You never realize how ingrained into our heads heteronormativity is until you look back, honestly.

And that’s it. It was long, it was weird, it was confusing, and it was way more complicated than the simplified version that I normally tell people, but there it is. If you take anything away from all of this, I’d want it to be that it’s okay to be unsure, it’s okay to question for however long you need to, and you are under no obligation to come out to anyone. Do things whenever you’re ready, and don’t forget that no one knows you better than you do.

So, yeah. I just needed to get that all off my chest.

Thanks for reading.

1 note · View note

singingunderthecurtain · 7 years

Text

Every Door You Enter, I Will Let You In [II]

Photo not mine, found it on Google.

Author: @julietsoddeye AU: Cannon Genre: Crack | Smut | Angst Pairing: Chanyeol x OC x Kris Trigger Warning: Some swearing, Angst, Smut and jokes. Word Count: 5,339

MINI MASTERLIST

Plot: You are Kris’ plus one in London Fashion Week 2017 and there you saw Chanyeol again.

Second installment to The Eve. The next update after this will be the last one.

You and Kris were clad in your ‘all Burberry everything’ outfit, coming from the Burberry After Party. Just as you were about to push your hotel room door open, you heard a voice that you thought you have already forgotten long ago. The same voice that haunted your dreams ever since his drunken confession of his undying love for you.

“What a surprise!”

The color from your face was drained in an instant. You didn’t dare face him, afraid that your already heightened anxiety will blow up exponentially.

“Eyy my man!”

Kris’ tipsy and jolly voice squeaks out. You heard skin smacking together, indicating that the two were probably shaking hands.

“Hyung, it’s been a long time!”

Is it weird to go to London with your ex-boyfriend? You repeatedly ask that same question to yourself as you put the stuff you’ll be needing in your suitcase. Kris told you that you’ll be staying there for a whole week and you don’t need to bring a lot of clothes because Burberry will dress you both in all the events you will be going to. You didn’t find it weird that he invited you to come because the public knows about you being his ‘best friend’ and your short gig as a model a few years ago gave you an edge for his fans to accept you. What they didn’t know is that you’ve been in a relationship with him. Well, it’s all over now and you decided to just stay as friends.

The relationship was great at the beginning, he treated you well, loved you like you’re the only woman he needs and the sex was even more amazing. But like most long distance relationship out there, it didn’t work out. You thought you could do it, but the distance made the both of you paranoid. It’s not that you didn’t trust each other, it’s just that you both don’t trust the people around you. You know being in the show business, Kris is surrounded by women who are ready to jump on him if given a chance to. And now being in the behind-the-scenes of the fashion industry, men flock your way just as much.

You didn’t like what you become, the paranoid and crazy-ass girlfriend you hated seeing before. You became exactly that because you know in the back of your mind that if Chanyeol comes for you again, you wouldn’t be sure if you’ll be able to avoid the temptation. Thankfully he hasn’t contacted you again after the little stint he witnessed almost a year ago. Thinking about it now, his aloofness made you realize that the real person who loves you is Kris. You’re finally done with Chanyeol.

But then again you two have broken up already and remained friends. Both of you are vocal about missing each other, but you know it’ll never work. You can’t just leave your life in Seoul and be with him in China, you’re comfortable and stable where you are right now. Maybe someday, if you’re really meant for each other, you’ll be together again. But for now, you’re happy with your arrangement with him. Just friends.

“Hey, you okay?”

Kris’ voice interrupted your thoughts.

“Yeah. I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About this trip.”

“What about it?”

He insisted some more.

“Nothing… I’m just excited.”

You beamed at him and he seemed to buy your slightly fake happiness. You are happy to be traveling again, but random thoughts like these easily get you down. You just hope your negative thoughts don't translate well with your laptop’s web camera.

“I’ll see you in London in 24 hours, yeah?”

Kris prompted and you gave him a convincing smile as you fold the billions of underwear you’re packing. Underwear is super important.

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon. Don’t forget to bring your passport.”

You snorted.

“My manager got that covered.”

He smirks at you, thinking you’re a smart-ass for saying that.

“Can’t wait to see you in that red matching lingerie again.”

He joked.

“YI FAAAN!!!”

You pretended to hit him via the camera and his loud laugh is making your computer’s built-in speaker sound broken.

“Hey, will your latest fling be there?”

You ask curiously. You were hurt at first when he admitted that he’s got girls on the side, but then the pain just evaporated.

“Why, you jealous?”

He jests.

“I’m not just jealous, I’m furious! She better not steals you or the free Burberry shit from me.”

You joke back.

“She’ll be there, but you’re by my side for the fashion week don’t worry. It’s a date!”

Kris smiles genuinely.

“Good! Hey, I need to go now. I still have work tomorrow before my flight to London. I’ll see you soon!!!”

You wave at him goodbye.

“Yeah, I’ll see you.”

He waves back before you click the end call.

~~~

It wasn’t even a minute yet when you walked through the arrival area and cameras from fans and media are flashing everywhere. You know it wasn’t for you, but for some celebrities that turn up for the London fashion week.

“Hisako, Hisako!”

Voices of a few females are calling your name. You looked at where the sounds came from and about 20 to 30 fans are taking pictures of you with their phones and some with their high technology DSLRs.

“Look it’s Amano Hisako!”

“Are you here for the fashion week?”

“Where’s Yi Fan?”

“Are you here with Kris?”

You were all at once bombarded with questions and before you can even answer them, an arm suddenly held you by the shoulder from out of nowhere and all the girls went crazy.

“Yeah, she’s my plus one!”

You hear Kris’ voice answer for you with his tongue click, hearing all the panties dropping and the girls dying right then and there.

“Well, aren’t you glad I convinced you to dress up for this flight?”

As you were leaving your apartment for the flight, Kris calls you the last minute to tell you that you should dress your best airport fashion because paparazzi and fans will be waiting at the airport. You look up at him and he was smirking at you. You wanted to slap the smug off his face, but the fans will probably kill you if you did...

“Thanks, Daddy.”

You whisper a tease back and Kris’ smirk grew wider as the flashes of cameras never stop.

“WHY DON’T YOU DATE ALREADY!?!?!”

One fan screamed so loud from the back of the crowd both you and Kris snaps your gaze away from each other, and to the throng of fangirls.

“Nah, I’m waaay out of his league!”

You immediately quip without a second to spare and the fans roar with laughter.

“That’s probably true.”

Kris replies sheepishly as he rubs the nape of his neck shyly, and of course, all his fans aww’d at him. He knows how to play the cards just right, what a fucking player.

“Yifan we gotta go, we gotta go!”

One person from Kris’ entourage interrupted and Kris’ manager suddenly grabs your suitcase from your hold. You couldn’t complain anymore since the guy already gave your suitcase to another assistant and the fans cry out their disappointment when you and Kris are being hauled away from the crowd.

“See you all soon!”

Kris calls out to the fans before the both of you completely exit the airport and is pushed inside a black luxury van.

~~~

“So how are you?”

Kris attempts at small talks are always awkward, you know this is just him checking up to know if you’re still in love with him. At the beginning of this hailstorm ‘friendship’, his each probe on your feelings every time you see each other again is kind of an assurance that there is still hope in the future. But the more you two acted more like civil acquaintances and less than lovers in public and in private, the more it helped you get a move on with the idea of the two of you being together again someday.

It’s not that your love for him wasn’t strong, it was, it’s just that the feeling of being alone is getting much comfortable now. You get better sleep alone because whenever he’s with you, all you wanna do is make love and talk nonstop to make up for lost time you’re apart. You write better contents for work when he’s not with you because when he is, all you can think about is him. And you can eat whatever the hell you want when he’s not around. He’s very particular with the stuff he eats and he makes you take these gnarly vitamins and supplements he always carries around with him whenever and wherever he is, that’s probably the reason why he is so fucking tall.

“I’m doing amazing, of course. And you?”

Your answer made him flinch a tiny bit for a few seconds before he gave you a smile that you can’t read for the first time ever. You never answer him with words whenever he asks you how you are. You always just give him a shy but reassuring smile that tells him, yes you are indeed still head over heels for him. That every story he tells interests you and every article you read about him still affects you in more ways than one.

But your straight to the point reply silently, but surely, discloses an answer he wasn’t really ready to hear just yet. Because until now, he’s still holding on to dear life. Holding on to the idea that you will always be there for him. That he still has something to call his own through you. He still wants you, no, he still needs you in his life. You are the love of his life as he claims, but he respected your decision to break up because he doesn’t want you to lose the small bit left of your sanity by adjusting to his crazy lifestyle.

“Good to know you’re doing great… without me.”

Kris said the last part in a silent huff. It was intended not to be heard but you did.

“What was that?”

You said as you pretended not to hear.

“I said good to know you’re okay. I missed you.”

He smiled at you as he wraps his arm around your shoulder and gave you a tight squeeze before kissing your right temple. You know that he knows you heard it, but he also pretended so the awkwardness will finally die down and it did. Things get weird really quick with you two, but it easily smooths out just as fast, he never lets things flounder real bad because he knows it will be the end for him.

“I missed you too, Yifan.”

You reply as you lean into his kiss and on his arms. You are so used to his affection so much, it’s like breathing for you now, it’s an essential. No malice, no double meanings. He’s just really cuddly and you like it so much.

“Are you dating anyone right now?”

He asks suddenly.

“No.”

You answered simply.

“Oh. But you’re moving on, I noticed.”

“Slowly. I’m almost there.”

You smiled as you close your eyes still in his arms.

“I think you’re already there, Hisako. And I’m so proud of you because you can do better than being with someone like me.”

You open your eyes and look up at him disapprovingly. How can he even say that to himself?

“Don’t say that! You’re a great man, Yifan, you really are.”

You pouted.

“But not for you.”

“No. You are great. You’re too great for me and I can’t handle it.”

“It’s okay, Hisako. I’ll be okay.”

And with that, the conversation was over. You wanted to leave his arms to protest, but he snaked his long limb around your waist and held you down, forcing your face to bury on his chest to shut you up completely.

You haven’t slept much during your flight and it’s already almost midnight when you got to the hotel. You toss and turn on this very elegant and very comfortable queen-sized bed, thinking about Kris. You aren’t sure why you’re even thinking about him, the last time you were like this was when he asked if you two can meet again after not talking for a few months after breaking up.

Your separation wasn’t a mess, it was definitely full of tears, but the both of you were calm and in the right mind so you ended things at peace. The night he called, you tossed and turned on your bed, the exact thing you’re doing right now. You thought he wanted to get back with you, you were thinking about what to answer him if he asks you to. But to your surprise, he actually wanted to be friends again, just like how you were before you even got together.

Grabbing your phone from the nightstand, you click it back to life and opened the messenger app. You click Kris’ name and typed in the message asking if he’s still awake. Not even 5 seconds later, he replied immediately.

吴笨笨: Yeah I’m awake (read 00:51).

Me: I can’t sleep Me: What are u doin? Me: Don’t ignore me pls. Me: 爸爸 Me: 爸爸!!! Me: DADDY!!! (read 00:52)

吴笨笨: just lying in bed 吴笨笨: Stop calling me daddy!!! 吴笨笨: 😡 (read 00:53)

Me: BOO! 💩💩💩 Me: I can’t sleep. 💩💩💩💩💩💩 Me: 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩 (read 00:53)

吴笨笨: Me 2 💩 (read 00:54)

Me: I wanna drink wine. 🍷 (read 00:54)

吴笨笨: B there in 2 吴笨笨: let’s order room service. (read 00:55)

Me: Bring your laptop. Me: I need to check my work email real quick. Me: tnx so much (read 00:55)

And just as he promised, there was a knock on your door 2 minutes later. Holding his laptop with his right hand and a bottle of champagne on the other. Apparently, a gift from Burberry is waiting in his hotel room and you were mad because he got Champagne while you got a pretty chocolate arrangement. You like chocolates, but you like Champagne much more.

Kris ended up sleeping next to you on your hotel bed after you two finished the whole bottle of Champagne and almost half of the expensive chocolates. By the time you were done with it, he was already too tired to go back to his room so you let him stay.

You woke up hours later with Kris still clinging on to you, his face buried in your chest and you’re securely caged inside his cling. You reach your hand up to caress his head, he’s still asleep might as well feel his hair on your fingertips again.

“Good morning.”

You almost had a heart attack when he suddenly spoke. The fucker was actually awake. Kris hesitantly removes his face away from your thinly clothed warm breasts and look up to your blown up eyes.

“You scared me Yifan, I thought you were still sleeping.”

Your breath ghosted on his face and he closes his eyes with its warmth on his skin. Kris then suddenly hover over you, his hands are on either side of your head. His soft bed hair curtains over him and you, almost reaching your face with his proximity. Kris closes the gap as his warm and soft lips encapsulate yours.

You wanted to like this, you really do. You wanna kiss him back and fall right back in love with him, but you told yourself you’ll only be with anyone again if you’re ready. And you’re definitely not ready yet. And he also caught you in a surprise by kissing you out of nowhere.

“Yifan…”

His name on your lips was muffled by his mouth. When you pushed him slightly, he immediately stops kissing you.

“I—I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me.”

Kris apologizes as he stood up away from you.

“No, it’s fine Yifan. It’s just—I—”

“I get it Hisako.”

He smiles painfully before rubbing and covering his face with his hands.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I won’t do that again. Fuck.”

His apology was muffled behind his hands.

“Are you mad?”

He asks when you didn’t speak.

“No. I’m not mad Yifan. I’m just taken aback.”

You answer, and he ran his fingers through his hair and tug on it, subsequently hitting his head with his own fists. You grab his wrists to stop him from hurting himself.

“Don’t do that Yifan, STOP!”

His hands went on languidly when he felt your skin on his. You force his hands away from his hair, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and kisses the top of his head to tell him you’re okay.

“I’m so sorry Hisako, I love you so much don’t be mad at me.”

“I love you too…”

You paused.

“But— I know there is a but somewhere in there.”

He answers for you.

“Just forget about it okay. I’ll be fine. And you’ll be fine someday too.”

You felt hot tears soak through the thin silk shirt you’re wearing and a restrained sob exit through Kris’ closed mouth. You gently caress his hair and back and whisper coos to his ear to pacify him as you let him cry out his frustrations in silence.

“We can talk about it later, please don’t cry.”

~~~

The fourth day of fashion week went smoothly as the first few days. After the little feat that happened in the vehicle and the little ‘morning after champagne’ incident, none of you ever talked about it again. You wanted to, but Kris seems distant about it because every time you wanna spill your exact feelings over coffee and breakfast in the morning or wine in your hotel room every night after an event, he will push the flow of the conversation in a different direction or he’ll manage out a forged yawn and tell you he’s tired and will go back to his room for the night. So by the third time he did that, you get the gist and just throw the issue back inside a forgotten chest you keep inside your heart. You wanted closure, but he looks as if he’s not ready for it just yet.

You both went back to how you usually are, but you can feel the slight coldness from him. He’s being careful now around you because he knows you’re moving on and he doesn’t wanna fuck it up. Not again, not now that this friendship that he himself kind of insisted on you is getting progressive as time goes. If he can’t be with you as a girlfriend, he’s determined to keep you as a trusted ally. You are just as great of a friend as you were a lover to him and he treasures you dearly like his own family.

You were thankful he’s keeping his heart as distant to you as possible because you didn’t want to torture his feelings any longer. You know he was hurt and the last thing you wanted to do was just that, he doesn’t deserve it. Not now, not tomorrow and definitely not ever.

“What a surprise!”

The color from your face was drained in an instant. You didn’t dare face him, afraid that your already heightened anxiety will blow up exponentially.

“Eyy my man!”

Kris’ tipsy and jolly voice squeaks out. You heard skin smacking together, indicating that the two were probably shaking hands.

“Hyung, it’s been a long time!”

You were still frozen in front of your door, hand gripping the lever, hoping and praying to God that he’ll just ignore you. But if he ignores you, you know you’ll feel shitty about it. You were still friends, right? it’s just that he has those tendencies to ignore you in long periods of time. This is probably the longest now, almost 8 months. He probably found another girl, better looking and earns much bigger than you do in a year. Perhaps even smarter than you and is emotionally and mentally stable enough to be with him.

“Hisako.”

With the mention of your name, the ice has melted quickly and now you feel your legs wobble like they turned into jello, a very soft and very wiggly jello. Your heartbeat accelerated double time, you can practically feel it beating through your skin. You haven’t touched a single alcohol tonight, but your vision blurred all of a sudden. You shut your eyes closed and blink a few times before facing the two men who were involved with you, one way or another.

“Chanyeol.”

You try your best to make your voice not to sound too weak to let him know you’re still affected or too strong that he thinks you’re totally faking it. Wait did you just say in your mind that you’re still affected by him?

Fuck.

You’re fucked.

You have moved on from Kris.

But not from Chanyeol.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Oh and great, his room is directly right in front of yours. How wonderful is that?!

“Been a long time.”

Pffft, of course, it’s been a long time, he totally avoided you yet again. How dare you, Park Chanyeol? You try your hardest not to roll your eyes, you do not want to be rude whatsoever, even though he’s the one being rude to you all the damn time.

“It sure was.”

You wanted it to sound indifferent, but your voice gave out a slight edge, making it sound sarcastic instead, but Chanyeol completely ignored it and just smiled. You mentally kicked yourself in the ass for being your snarky self, but you can’t help it that you were born that way.

“Where are you heading to at this hour?”

Kris asks with his ever pumped up spirit because of the shots and drinks he quaffed tonight at the party.

“I just got here several hours ago and can’t sleep from jet lag. I was gonna find a place to eat or something.”

Chanyeol explains.

“Bro, trust me you don’t wanna go down there alone. Paparazzis and fans are lurking around outside the hotel.”

Kris whispers suddenly as if anyone will hear him. He gets super childish like this whenever he’s buzzed with alcohol.

“Really?”

“Yeah. We’re planning on ordering for room service, just join us.”

Kris offers.

Oh gosh Yifan, why?

“Sure, if you’re okay with it.”

“It’s fine Yeol, let’s go inside.”

Wow, it’s as if you’re not even there, Kris could ask you if it’s okay for Chanyeol to join. Well, he didn’t know why you’re so pressed on your own right now, you didn’t exactly tell him that Chanyeol confessed to you and the drama that happened during his birthday was because Chanyeol was in love with you and that he was jealous.

~~~

Two bottles of Champagne and a big cut of steak that you all shared later, Kris’ phone suddenly blares out and he drunkenly fishes it out from his pants.

“Ohoo It’s Mei-mei!”

Kris announces loudly who was calling him at 2:30 AM. Chanyeol’s drunken face scrunches up at the mention of Yanmei’s name.

“Hello?!”

Kris obnoxiously answers the call.

“Yanmei, mei, mei meiiii.”

You roll your eyes as he drunkenly answers and calls Yanmei’s name.

“Yeah, I’m tipsy as fuck. Oh, you need me? Okay, meet me in my room baby.”

Tipsy as fuck, my ass. Kris is drunk as hell and not just tipsy.

“Yo, I’m gonna take off now. I’ll see you again tomorrow yeah?”

Kris pretends punch Chanyeol’s arm lightly and Chanyeol feign flinched as if it hurts.

“Yeah, see you around Hyung!”

Chanyeol nods his head heavily with half-lidded eyes, obviously also too drunk by now. Great now you will be left alone with a drunk Chanyeol—again. And you all know how Chanyeol is when he’s drunk. You don’t even understand why he downed the champagne like soju and got drunk too fast, he must’ve missed drinking alcohol or something.

“See you tomorrow, or later, I don’t know haha I’m drunk! I love you.”

You roll your eyes again as Kris gives you a sloppy and wet kiss on your temple and the side of your cheeks near and almost touching your lips. Unintentionally, you looked at Chanyeol and his nose flared a minuscule bit when Kris kissed you. He looked away immediately when you caught him staring.

The moment Kris closes your hotel room door, Chanyeol immediately faces you with his stupidly cute drunken face that you really miss in all honesty. Aaah, fuck it you finally admitted to yourself that you miss him.

“Wait… Yanmei? Jongdae and Junmyeon Hyung’s ex-girlfriend?”

Chanyeol’s eyes are still half-lidded but one of his brows is lifted as he asks you this question.

“Yep.”

“As in Yanmei, your friend? That Yanmei?”

“Yup. That bitch is jumping from one dick to another. Call her the hoe of the century!”

You roll your eyes at your friend’s borderline sluttiness. You roll your eyes again for the nth time tonight, you might permanently damage your vision for real because of it. It’s not that you’re judging her… Actually, you are judging her because Kris is her 3rd fling this year already. It’s fine, you didn’t mind when you found out that they got together. You’re complacent knowing that Kris is in good hands. She may be a little floozy sometimes, but she’s a great person. Hopefully, she’ll help him move on from you.

“And you let Hyung cheat on you with Mei-mei?”

Chanyeol’s jaw drops and chokes out a flabbergasted gasp as his hands cover up his mouth. His expression was so shocked that you can’t help but laugh. You keep hitting the pillow on your lap from too much laughing.

“What?!”

Chanyeol asks when you couldn’t stop your giggle fit.

“Yifan and I are not together anymore. We haven’t been together for a long time now. Oh gosh, this is too funny!”

You continue to laugh, as Chanyeol’s expression went from confused as fuck to disappointment, it almost looked mad, but you ignored him.

“Well, I got fucking drunk for nothing then!”

Chanyeol threw his hands up in the air as he stood up from your bed and wobbled his way to the door.

“Hey, where are you going? There’s still champagne.”

You stood up and call out for Chanyeol as he wobbled and involuntarily trips on all fours. You immediately ran to his side, with a subdued grin still plastered on your face.

“I’ll walk you to your room, okay.”

“Fine!”

Chanyeol lets you help him stand up on his feet and you attempted to wrap his arm around your shoulder to assist on his walking, but he was hesitant at first. You insisted on doing so, so he just let out a sigh and complied. Immediately, the familiar scent of him diffused on the air around you. His scent of expensive cologne and sweat that you were addicted to. The champagne smell lingering also didn’t help the fact that your heart is thumping so hard right now, you’re sure he can feel it too because his left hand is palming your shoulders near where your heart is.

You heard his breathing hitch slightly when your right arm encircled his waist to support him. You ignored the looming tingles that are starting to crawl up your spine, straight through your heart up to your cheeks. You know you’re already blushing really bad because you can feel your face heating up. You can blame the redness from the alcohol, he doesn’t know you’re not as drunk as he is. He might not even remember this happening tomorrow when he wakes up.

This brings out memories of when Chanyeol confessed his love for you. He was a drunken mess again that night and you went just to drive him back home. That was just some of the memories with him that makes you smile like an idiot, besides the ones where you always go for a ride in his luxury SUV on his free time and he actually lets you drive his car even though he always teases you about your ‘bad driving’. You’ll sulk about his teasing and then he’ll buy you ice cream to appease you. Sometimes you’re okay with his mocking, but you’ll still pretend to mope around just so he can buy you ice cream and will occasionally take you out to dinner if he was being a little nicer.

“Why didn’t you tell me you broke up with Kris Hyung?”

He suddenly spoke up when the two of you reached the front of his door.

“You were ignoring me again, how the hell was I to tell you? Where’s your card key?”

He ignored your reply and reached for his back pocket to pluck the plastic card out and hand it to you. You swipe the thing on the digital lock and pushes the door wide open for the two of you to enter. His room was already trashed with clothes and random plastic bags of things even though he just arrived last night, typical Chanyeol. You carefully sat him down on the Queen-sized bed and grab his laptop to set it aside so he won’t accidentally kick it while sleeping.

“You know you can still text me even if I ignore you. I know I’m a shitty person for always doing that to you and I’m really sorry for that. But you never left my mind or my heart, Hisako. Even how busy I am with work, you’re always there to motivate me with everything I do.”

You were about to put his laptop on the small dining table when Chanyeol’s sudden spill made you freeze into place. You felt his arms wrap around your waist in a tight embrace and his chin rests on your shoulder as he buries his face in your hair. You tighten your grip on his laptop, afraid that you might drop it on the floor.

“Ch—Chanyeol.”

It was all you manage to gag out as he takes a whiff of your hair.

“I haven’t seen anyone since the last time MQ Hyung left me drunk and you picked me up. I can’t date any other when you’re all I wanted.”

“Chanyeol you’re drunk right now.”

“Drunk or sober, I still want you. I’m in love with you Hisako.”

You choke back a sob after his confession. You tried so hard not to start bawling your eyes out, but when you heard him starting to whimper, your tears just spill out like a faucet.

“At— At least let me put down y—your laptop Chanyeol. I don’t wanna drop it.”

You didn’t want him to hear the quiver in your words, but the break in your sentence gave away too much.

“I don’t mind. You can slap it on my face for all I care. You can do whatever you want with me Hisako, I am all yours and yours alone.”

His cling on your body tightens and his hot tears are starting to trickle down from your bare shoulder down to your chest, soaking the Burberry chantilly lace silk dress the people from Fashion Week styled you with. Thankfully the table is just three feet away from you and you manage to carefully slide Chanyeol’s laptop on top of it.

You push Chanyeol’s hands to loosen his grip and you whirl yourself around so you’re finally facing him. He reconnected his hands on your back to cage you inside his arms. His eyes are already bloodshot with too much crying and his nose, cheeks and ears are flushed red. Chanyeol closes his eyes as you were reaching up to sweep his tears dry with the pads of your fingertips.

This is it. This is why moving on from Kris was weirdly easy because of Chanyeol. It’s always been Chanyeol all along. You thought you’re done with him, but how can you be done with someone who changed your life dramatically over the course of 7 years.

You met him at college when you moved to Seoul and been best friends with him since then. After a year or so, you realized that you’ve fallen for him— hard. You were there through the struggles of being a trainee at one of the biggest entertainment companies in South Korea. You were also the one he ran to first when the news broke out that Kris left EXO. Every struggle, every pain, heartbreak and tussles you were there for him. You never missed the happy times too. He never forgets to include you in every situation he is in.

They say that behind every successful man, there’s a great woman. And you were that woman, he told you that himself. You were his woman and you still are.

“Stop crying, you’re making me cry.”

You say as you sniff and your tears counter his.

“I’m so sorry, I will never neglect you ever again. I’ll treat you better, I promise you. You’ll never be alone again. I will make you the happiest woman in the world even if it kills me. I love you Hisako, please love me too.”

Chanyeol buries his face on the crook of your neck as he continues to literally cry his feelings out. His sticky tears are running down your back but you don’t mind, you just let him release his passion while cooing sweet and soothing nothings in his ear as you rub his back in calming motions.

“Chanyeol, look at me.”

You prompt when you felt his breathing finally calming down. And without hesitation, Chanyeol removes his face from your neck to look at you with his red and puffy half-lidded eyes. He sniffs the snot build up in his nose in a cute manner with his lips pursed in a pout.

“Don’t beat yourself up too much. I love you too. It’s always been you.”

His frown immediately turns upward after you told him you love him back. Even with the puffiness, his overall demeanor changed after he finally smiled.

“Did you really mean what you said?”

“Of course Chanyeol.”

“Then kiss me.”

Chanyeol lowers his head in front of your face so you can reach his lips. With a smile on your face, you closed the gap instantaneously. His delicate and balmy lips melted right away with yours, you’ve always wondered what it feels like to kiss Chanyeol and you never imagined it’d be this good. His lips are much softer than what you expected. His kiss is slow and confident, but thoughtful. He kisses you ever so gently as if you’re a fine piece of China that he needs to be careful not to break.

“I want you Hisako.”

Chanyeol whispers in between kisses. His feet started shuffling back to the bed and you’re just following suit as to not break your lips apart from each other. You have to stop yourself though when his back hits the soft duvet and the two of you bounces up and down on the bed.

“Chanyeol, you’re drunk.”

“Why do you keep on saying that?”

“Because you’re drunk?”

You said with a matter-of-fact look on your face. Chanyeol flashes you a toothy smile before answering.

“I think I cried the alcohol out of my system hah.”

He jests as he plays with the strap of your dress. You laughed at his lame joke and softly slap his chest with your palm.

“Do you have a condom?”

“Yes, Jongdae threw in a couple in my bag while I was packing. He said I need it just in case.”

Chanyeol pulls out a packet of condom from the bedside table cabinet and hands it to you.

“Well, he wasn’t wrong now is he?”

You took the foil packaging and bit the edge slightly with your front teeth. The one side of Chanyeol’s lip curls up in a sultry smirk.

“Take off your hoodie, Chanyeol.”

You instructed as you position yourself better on top of him, hiking your dress up and you felt him already hard for you. Without another word, Chanyeol grabs the seam of his hoodie and pull the garment up his head along with his undershirt. He throws his clothes on the side and you watch as his chest and semi-fluffy stomach hoists up and down with every sustained breath when he laid his head on the plush pillow on his hotel bed, anticipating for your next move.

You tug your dress off leaving you only in your red laced tube bra and matching panties. Chanyeol’s eyes admire your voluptuous curves for a minute before his hands found your sides, stroking your skin up and down in a loving manner.

“So beautiful.”

Chanyeol says as his eyes settled on yours and you flash him a pleased smile. He bit his lower lip when you suddenly start pulling the tied string of his jogger pants and his phallic springs up and down when he slid it down along with his boxer briefs. With just the vision of his large dick, you felt the wetness of your core seep out of your panties. Biting the corner of the foil packet of the condom, you tear it open and a little bit of the strawberry flavor lubricant coating drips on your lips. Using your tongue, you swipe the coating off your lips and moan silently when the flavor hits your taste buds.

“Strawberry, my favorite.”

You pinch the tip of the condom and slides the latex material gently from the tip down to the base of Chanyeol’s length.

“I submit everything to you, my Queen.”

Chanyeol sighs out when you push yourself up to remove your undies so you can line him to your entrance.

“Will you be a good boy for me?”

You luridly ask as you lower yourself down to Chanyeol. Since you didn’t give him enough time to reply, he just whines out when he felt your tightness around him and it was an enough answer for you.

“Oh God, Hisako you’re so tight… I—I can’t.”

You gyrate your hips and Chanyeol dramatically slams his head on the pillow below him.

“You like that, baby boy?”

With your palms on his stomach, you prop yourself, sliding up till just the tip of his cock is in and you slam yourself down harshly, making Chanyeol squirm some more. Up and down like a rollercoaster, you continue to ride him, pulling his hair in the process. Because God fucking damn it Park Chanyeol is too big and you haven’t had sex in a really long time, you’re sure that your hymen has tightened back snug.

“Hisako…”

Chanyeol whines and you know he’s nearing his peak.

“Don’t cum until I said so. Don’t fucking cum.”

You maintain your pace, ignoring his silent pleas. Pulling and tugging on his hair as you accelerated your movement to chase your high. You know it’s coming real soon, he just has to endure a little bit.

“It hurts Hisako, please. I can’t hold it any longer.”

“Just a few more seconds, hold on baby. I’ll be there with you.”

“Fuck, Hisako. It hurts so bad. I need to cum, please let me cum now.”

Chanyeol’s grip on your ass is getting stronger by the second and with a couple more pumps, you feel yourself letting loose.

“Shit— Ch—Chanyeol…”

With you clenching yourself around him and your loud cry, Chanyeol finally releases his orgasm and you felt his hot seed spurt out on the tip of the condom he’s wearing.

Chanyeol knocked out immediately after and you can’t help but laugh at how adorable he looks, too spent to even kiss you after making love.

~~~

The next morning, Chanyeol wakes up with a smile on his face, but it was immediately wiped away from his lips with the fact that you’re not on the bed beside him. You should be beside him, he remembers everything. You told him that you love him back but why are you not sleeping beside him? Where are you? Why did you leave?

Panic-stricken, Chanyeol search for his jogger pants and he found it already neatly folded on a chair. His phone is right on top of his clothes with a note on it.

Chan, don’t panic. I Just need to go. Yifan and I have a breakfast meeting with Christopher Bailey and his husband. I see that you haven’t changed the lock code of your phone. I already saved my new number, please text me when you wake up. I left a bottle of Advil inside your drawer, take some after eating if you’re hungover. See you later. Love you. ♥

With a smile on Chanyeol’s face, he gingerly kisses the piece of paper and jump right back to bed.

#Park Chanyeol #Kris Wu #exowritersnet #kpopwritingnet #EXO #exo scenarios #kpop scenarios #smut #fluff #angst #crack #scenarios

25 notes · View notes

mostlyvoidpartiallysmog · 7 years

Text

Just finished the second Night Vale novel It Devours! that I got my hands on when I got a hold of my pre-order yesterday. (So sue me. College strike up here gave me some free time)

So some thoughts?

BIIIIG SPOILERS obviously.

Firstly I’d just like to say that I LOVE the ending. Specifically I love the way the relationship between Nilanjana and Darryl ends. GOD that was so refreshing! Honestly their relationship felt rushed and empty anyway and it was SO fucking nice to see a realistic potential end to a new adult relationship.

In regards to the early parts of the relationship? The writing seemed to have a preoccupation with kisses and lips that squicked me more then anything, but I’ve never been a big kissing person in general so maybe it’s just that.

The sex mentioned, especially with how explicitly they did so, kind of felt... I’m just going to say it, a little annoying? *sigh* Now I get that there aren’t too many places where even this minor level of detail and frankness about sex could come up, but seeing what felt like the first slightly more explicit handling of it then like, Carlos jokingly getting turned on by science or some such as the podcast has done (Not counting the semi-obscure and one time live show they recently did of course. Night Vale after dark I THINK it might have been called? With Cecil and Dylan reading some nsfw content?) what felt like the first more explicit handling went to... well a hetero sex scene and, eh, call me a bitter queer but like, ANY thing else would have felt more interesting. Idk, I was just rather meh about the whole thing.

Oh and well I’m at it, “Sex in Night Vale take’s a little longer, but when it starts it happens much like anywhere else.” also felt kind off to me. Just picky queer sex positive feminist things I guess. It ain’t a big thing, but if anyone else had written it I’d be rolling my eyes going “yo there’s more then one way to fuck my hetero dude friend. It’s not all about cis ass, able bodied penis in vaginal sex.) but again, that’s just me being picky as SHIT because I, to be frank, expect a heckuva lot from Night Vale what with them consistently delivering for 3 year (Specifically how long I’ve been listening I mean. Don’t recall how many year’s they’ve been around in general.)

Also like, the lead up TO the sex was weird? We had a window into both their heads but at no point were we lead to believe they were physically particularly attracted to each other before the sex? It jumped from “maybe he’s kind of cute” to fucking? Like give us a few bits of her (preferably her because fuck yes not shying away from female sexuality) eyes getting caught on his body or some overt desire or something. Direct us to something that says “physical” attraction. (and let’s REALLY not have it be a possessive stereotype about her getting jealous over some female friend of his and taking it out by getting touchy feely with a guy she barely knows for that matter) It just felt really flat. Really lacking it what should have been easy build up. Minor build up, because sex can absolutely and should absolutely be shown sometimes as something human, and pleasant, and potentially just chill and fun to do, but like, we have an internal view of their heads, as such we should have seen SOME small nudge of physical attraction before hand. Some tug. Don’t give the audience nothing and then expect them to buy a relationship that, as it turns out in the end, was largely just based on good/fun sex.

Um, also; IF anyone else had written that whole “let’s cosign forms and get blood work done, lol look how long this is taking” pre-sex bit, then I honestly would have taken it as a “consent is a mood breaker and millennials are prudish idiots ruining sex with their safe sex and their checks for consent.” Idk. That joke felt a little off the mark. Just me being picky again.

Another thing? Nilanjana is fat! Yaaay! That was unexpectedly cool! (Would have preferred if they had said “fat” versus “overweight”. Fat’s not a dirty word, being fat isn’t a reflection on your morals and all that, but hey, not everyone is up with the latest fat acceptance stuff I guess. But like, “over” weight. Over whose weight? Over what supposed perfect weight? Is that supposed to be your short hand for “doesn’t exercise” ‘cause those sure as hell aren’t inherently connected. Correlation doesn’t equal causation. Pbthhh. >.>)

Speaking of being picky, or maybe this was just a very clever sign that Darryl and Nilanjana’s relationship wouldn’t work out in the long term, did Nilanjana REALLY have to get so jealous and competitive with Stephanie? Did she have to instantly dislike and distrust her because of “the way Darryl looked at her”? Because to recap that made all the women in the book in relation to Nilanjana, judgemental, shallow, and foolish (Lusia), cold, untrustworthy, and naive (Stephanie. “Naive” because of her religion in Nilanjana’s books and soooort of by the narrative as well), literally just a world threatening zealous cultist (Munn), or a goofy, initially untrustworthy sidekick (Jamillah).

I mean even Josh Crayton got better billing in this round then either his mum or Jackie who got tiny cameo’s each. =/ I would have liked to see more of those two.

While we’re on the subject of female characters. NIGHT VALE PLEASE. PLEASE give us some more background or remotely confirmed wlw!!! Jeeze. Seriously! We got another random background guy, or at least person getting refereed to with he/him pronouns who got a boyfriend, (The helicopter fellow) and though we already knew Josh was bi/pan otherwise not straight, he got a briefly mentioned boyfriend in this one! And of course the show focus is always Cecil and Carlos which racks the points waaay up for amazing, awesome mlm representation. We DID get a tiny cameo from Basimah Bashara which was neat, and a small moment with Michael Nguyen, but that’s the thing with those two and wlw in Night Vale in general isn’t it? While one can... hope? Somewhat with evidence? That Maureen and Michael might be a couple now, might be positive wlw representation, that was never actually made super clear. (Looking back on it it WAS made super clear with Basimah, so good on them with that!)

There’s also Jackie and Sheriff Sam. I HAVE to say, I was absolutely PREYING Jackie and Dana got together when Jackie mentioned she was dating someone from “high up in the government” so the let down I felt from finding out it was Sam instead came mostly from that. =p (Give Dana a girlfrieeend. Sure there’s always Alice Isn’t Dead but that ain’t the same. =p) Sam uses they/them pronouns and we can probably safely assume from that that they’re meant to be NB, genderqueer, genderfuild, or otherwise just not a cis character, so that’s wonderful, and Jackie dating them pretty much pings her as some variety of queer (or at least queer friendly, but then the majority of Night Vale is.) as well, so that’s also neat! I dooon’t think we had that from her before? Maybe there was something in the first book I’m forgetting. (I am personally mad happy that Jackie is queer or at least chill with nb folk, as she reminds me of myself in way too many ways. Awkward high-fives and “dude’s” and all.) That being said, how old is Sheriff Sam? I always pictured them at like 40 something from the voice. >.> Lol apparently not.

So on a more world building, less representation based note; Kevin.

Kevin is a prophet in the churches lore apparently. That’s neat? I guess? Here’s the thing, when WAS the Joyous Congregation founded? And my main concern; when did Kevin go through the Old Oak Door that showed him the smiling god for the first time??? The Congregation, or at least the general concept of the religion of the smiling god seems fully formed back during the Strex arc, and more then that Kevin hasn’t (as far as we know. Also please Finknor give us more Kevin. Triptych Broke. My. Heart. and I’m begging you.) been back to Night Vale or otherwise out of the desert other world since the time Steve pushed him in at the end of the Strex arc.

I don’t WANT to think that Kevin founded the whole religion. It’s always seemed very much like a thing that existed before him and more importantly not a thing he did before Strex!him if you will, but who knows I guess. =/

That’s the thing. I always thought of the smiling god AS ENTIRELY a Strex concept, and I’m going to wager a guess that at least at the start Finknor did too. It’s so tied into Strex. Inseparable from Strex’s meaning and purpose. Smile. Work. Be empty. Pretend to be happy. Smiling IS Strex, it’s a Strex thing, so it kind of made me feel... like it felt a bit rewrite-y to not even mention Strex at all during this book?

I mean was the smiling god NOT behind Strex? Was the congregation not at least back a couple years ago indistinguishable from Strex? Idk. These are all questions I have.

Talking about things that feel rewrite-y, I’m not sure I did the idea of Carlos actually being in the desert other world for TEN YEARS. Here’s the thing. We were, at the very least, as the audience lead to believe that Cecil and Carlos were thinking of LIVING there. Of moving there. a MASSIVE freaking part of the Carlos in the desert other world arc had us second guessing Carlos and Cecil’s whole relationship ffs! That WAS the subtext of the arc! The purpose! That Carlos seemed more interested in science and research of the desert other world then getting back to freaking Cecil! And now you’re going to claim that not only was he there ten years, which we had NO foreshadowing of during the arc at ALL as far as I can see, but he only ever wanted desperately to get home? Again the twist at the end of the desert other world arc is Cecil unexpectedly NOT MOVING THERE. WHAT? Nah man. That was some silly re-write stuff right there. Contradicting what world building we have on the desert other world until now.

Another thing highly related to that? Where the fuck was the nomadic giant army?? Or hell, even just Kevin and that dumb roller coaster they built? (I GUESS you could say that they all... died... ? And the roller coaster... vanished completely? But nah. Not really because aging doesn’t work there now does it?) Doug and Elisha thanks? Yet more stuff that made Carlos seem at home (and for that matter time passing relatively similarly from the sort of relationships he formed and reported on) in the desert other world. Ugh. I really don’t like that whole ten years thing. It seemed excessive too. Like two or even three years would have been more believable from what we saw of Carlos during that time, and even with only the single year I could already understand Carlos being traumatized from the event. Idk.

Speaking of world building for the desert other world? Assuming we keep with previous would building regarding it we are NOT done with it yet. Or rather, we probably shouldn’t be. There’s WAY too much going on there. Kevin’s still in there, he named it DESERT BLUFFS ffs. (I’m still waiting for the day we get the plot twist that the other world IS the desert bluffs we know from the past or something very similar to that. I also noticed a hella conspicuous absence of talk about desert bluffs OR the desert other world during the Huntokar revelations of the last finished arc. That place is MAD secret to the point that it’s not even on the radar of Huntokar, and probably The Glow Cloud, Distant Prince, Woman from Italy and other elder god type things.)

Then there’s Dana’s drawings up on the mountain. The spiraling murals of triangles I believe it was? We are NOT done with that place. I know at the end Darryl is like “well maybe the smiling god wasn’t that stupid centipede” and we’re supposed to at least sort of think like Nilanjana and be like “Yea huh. Sure. You just want to think that to protect your beliefs.” but honestly yeah, I don’t remotely think the centipede was really... the smiling god? Unless like I said, Kevin started the religion all together which I very much hope he didn’t? So yea, probably not the smiling god, DEFINITELY not the biggest threat in the desert other world. Up until now the “light” trying to get into Night Vale has been really obtuse and obscure. Really vague and therefore menacing and cool. I don’t think Finknor are bad enough writers to just toss all that away on a giant centipede. I’m a cynical person. Usually I’d add “At least I hope not” to that sentence, but damn it all if I don’t KNOW that Finknor are better writers then that.

Also there was the whole “hey wait the “ritual” to summon the god probably wasn’t just a coincidence” idea dropped in there to explore. So yeah. Lot’s to look at still.

Speaking of the ritual? Did you guys caaaaatch iiiiiit??? The jumping. How frantic jumping was a big part of the ritual? Maybe I’m just reaching but it sounded SO much like Kevin’s narration jumping bit from way back in The Sandstorm that Cecil mirrors with his own narration bit in his episode.

I’m SOOOO glad we got a glimpse into additional meaning for that kid jumping trying to recapture the feeling of flight scene for Kevin. It would be cool if more meaning was discovered for it in the future.

I’ve always read Cecil’s retrospective kid scene in those episodes as maybe relating too whatever happens in Cassette Tapes, or maaaybe some weird shit with Kevin himself in a metaphorical or otherwise obscured reference to why the heck the whole doubles thing happens anyway. (Also again, doubles, Desert bluff weirdness. Another thing I attributed to possibly the smiling god that could definitely not be if it were just a centipede, but honestly whether it’s a centipede or not I think it would be much more interesting if the smiling god was only a corrupting force for Desert bluffs and not the “weird Night Vale thing” that causes them to exist in the first place. And like I said? What’s cool is that it seems to not be Huntokar’s fault either that Desert Bluffs exists so that’s neat. That mean’s there’s some other weird shit going on there for us to find out.)

Ok one thing I forgot about the time rules of the desert other world and Kevin? You don’t AGE in the desert other world. Kevin when he contact Cecil in the last section of Triptych say’s he is very old. Now he could mean ancient as in “lived a very long time” but he specifically says “very old” and seems like his health might even me failing. Certainly he puts on a different voice. Anyway, all that leading up to the theory that we can extrapolate from that that Kevin will escape the desert other world at some point. Which isn’t too much of a stretch, and I think we all kind of expected (and I desperately hoped for after Triptych tyvm. FFS Cecil if you know how he ends up and also what he used to be like why not GO SAVE KEVIN FROM THAT FATE! Jeeze man! I really wish that had been part of the arc following Triptych and genuinely thought it might be. Like please. Cecil how can you just leave him there???)

All and all I liked the first novel a LOT more, but I liked this novel. Heck if it it wasn’t from Night Vale crew, meaning I had kind of hyped standards for it already, it probably would have been super awesome.

I mean there were some parts of the first novel I didn’t like, and I’m feeling some similar feelings regarding how the smiling god and desert other world turned out looking a bit mundane in this story and left a lot of “but if they were really just this, then why this old plot point” feelings just like the Man in the Tan Jacket did last novel (WHY was he interested in the underground city damn it? Especially with what we now know about Huntokar? WHY was he working with the Apache Tracker? What the hell were they doing? What was the post office all about?) but all and all I still preferred the first novel to this one. It felt more... human I guess. Had that good good recognizable story about a mom and her kid, growing up, parents, relationships, becoming an adult and a helluva lot of other stuff. Not that this one didn’t have a neat story about religion and science (that part honestly felt a little too basic for me) and fitting into one’s communities (that part was alright) but the first novel just hit the right cords more. Personally at least I felt more attached to everyone AND enjoyed the treatment of the themes more. Idk exacccctly why, but I absolutely enjoyed the first novel way more. It felt more like it’s own entity. A valid reason to use a different medium. A really new and cool thing where we could step into the shoes of likeable, fully rounded characters. This novel felt a lot more like a sometimes wacky one off live show with new characters or something. =/ I still enjoyed it, but not as much, and mostly the parts I did enjoy were all humor and surreal Night Vale goodness.

Alright. Well. That ends my rambling for now. I’m sure I’ll have many instances of trying to get to sleep and thoughts of the novel bouncing around in my head begging me to write them down or otherwise talk about them, so I guess I gotta emphasize the “for now” part.

This is long as shit and I’d be mildly surprised and utterly flattered if anyone can make it through my rambling.

#welcome to night vale #It Devours!#it devours #spoilers #it devours! spoilers #welcome to night vale spoilers #wtnv #wtnv spoilers #wtnv novel #welcome to night vale novel #night vale presents

2 notes · View notes

skihuepfer · 7 years

Text

Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people (or less)

i was tagged by @smile-stephan (omg thank you ♡ )

THE LAST

1. drink: grape juice

2. phone call: some parents I had to tell that we’re returning sooner than planned for my summer job

3. text message: a friend who I told the sweaters/ski jumpers joke - I’m still not over it

4. song you listened to: turning back around by RHODES

5. time you cried: i guess a month ago when skam ended

6. dated someone twice: nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. been cheated on: nope again

9. lost someone special: my grandfather

10. been depressed: those moment when a series ends

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i've been rly close tho

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. teal

13. ruby

14. magenta

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: probs, guess I've mostly sticked to my old ones tho

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: more than once

18. found out someone was talking about you: don't rly recall anything (thanks, short-term memory)

19. met someone who changed you: found some incredible fandoms

20. found out who your friends are: yea, they've definitely proven that they are

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

GENERAL:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: don't really have a lot there so yes

23. do you have any pets: yes I have 3 cats and 4 bunnies and they are all very special and I love them so much and I could talk about them for hours but I'll spare you (for now)

24. do you want to change your name: nah kinda content with mine

25. what did you do for your last birthday: my friends made me an incredible cake that looked like a hobbit's door and I got tickets for my favourite comedian (Otto Waalkes) and then we just played games and watched films and had a chill evening

26. what time did you wake up: at about 10

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: reading fanfics (gosh there are so many good ones)

28. name something you can’t wait for: Our trip to wales on Saturday and the competition in Hinzenbach in October *-*

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: about an hour ago

31. what are you listening to right now: the silence of my room ( ahhh I love it)

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: definitely, I just can't recall a specific one... (short-term memory again)

33. something that is getting on your nerves: loud chewing ugh

34. most visited website: youtube and tumblr probs

35. hair color: brunette

36. long or short hair: short

37. do you have a crush on someone: yea but its kinda hopeless since I'm to shy and socially awkward to get my shit together and talk to him

38. what do you like about yourself: tough one, maybe that I'm kinda tall

39. piercings: just my ears (hardly wear earrings tho couse I'm way too lazy)

40. blood type: why should I know?

41. nickname: my friends sometimes call me Mary or Mary Jue

42. relationship status: forever single since I am this awkward, asocial mess

43. zodiac: pisces

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favorite tv show: Skam, Sherlock, Poldark, Reign, Outlander, New Girl, Doctor Who, Robin Hood, Merlin... waaay to many

46. tattoos: nope

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: nope, got stiched two times on my chin tho

50. sport: besides horse riding extremly unathletic – apart from passive ski jumping of course

51. vacation: i prefer cold, secluded hicksvilles where I can avoid people like Scottland, Iceland or Wales

52. pair of trainers: guess I have 2 or so

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: I'd die for this tyrolese food called Schlipfkrapfen that my granny makes, just google it, it's srsly the best thing you can imagine

54. drinking: lychee juce

55. I’m about to: continue studying for my drivering test ugh

56. waiting for: Hinterzarten... and food, always for food

57. want: food... still

58. get married: one day, if I'll ever meet someone

59. career: I like working with kids so I'd love to be a teacher one day... maybe English and History so we can all just watch Hamilton and Les Mis together all the time and be happy

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: hugs

61. lips or eyes: eyes

62. shorter or taller: taller

63. older or younger: doesn't matter as long as the age gap isn't that severe

64. nice arms or nice stomach: stomach

65. hookup or relationship: relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: bit of both i guess

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: nope

68. drank hard liquor: yes, don't quite like it tho

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: every dam time

70. turned someone down: nope cause hardly anyone has ever shown interest in me lol

71. sex on the first date: nope

73. had your heart broken: if having improbable hopes crushed counts then yes

74. been arrested: about 3 times now (nah just kidding)

75. cried when someone died: yes

76. fallen for a friend: kinda, fallen for a childhood friend that probs doesn't even remember you

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: who does srsly

78. miracles: yea why not, time to be a bit optimistic

79. love at first sight: yes

80. santa claus: nope, his reindeers? yes

81. kiss on the first date: yea why not, let me be the romantic mess that I am

82. angels: nah that's too much

OTHER:

84. eye color: this stange grey-blue-green kind that nobody can ever quite define

85. favorite movie: lord of the rings, les mis, war horse, dead poet's society, bokeh

I won’t tag anyone since most of the people I know or ‘know’ here have most likely already done it or been tagged. So feel tagged if you want to do it ;)

#thanks again for tagging #you saved my boring day #and it's kinda been the first time that I have ever been tagged #so thank you for making me feel special for once #haha

2 notes · View notes

shinylitwick94 · 7 years

Text

Read “Midnight Tides”, the fifth book in the Malazan Book of the Fallen series, by Steven Erikson.

There were things I really enjoyed in this one, and things I also enjoyed, but felt were waaay overdone.

It does feel like a very bold choice on Erikson’s part to do this. We know exactly one character from previous books here, it’s set on a totally different continent, with totally different people, who understand the basic building blocks of their world in a totally different way, and yet it works. I feel that this is probably the most “uniform” book so far, so to speak. While we do still have quite a few characters, we have two countries that are very clearly defined and fairly easy to understand and almost all characters come from either one or the other, and also stay with one or the other, and it’s easy to understand how/why they’re likely to come together at the end, so you’re rarely left wondering where on earth one particular storyline might be going.

And I did enjoy most of the plotlines and characters in Midnight Tides a lot. It felt more concise and structured, less all over the place than the other books. What I did not like was the philosophizing. It bothered me a little in House of Chains, but here it just goes through the roof. Characters will just not stop philosophizing about everything and it’s exhausting, even when it’s interesting, which it often is. The worst offender by far for me, was the criticism of the Letheri society. I welcome criticisms of hyper-capitalist societies as much as the next person, but do you really have to shove it into every.single.paragraph. It became very repetitive, very fast. To its credit it does finally address some of the imperialism related issues I’d complained about before, but I do think it’s a little disingenous to address with the already Obviously Evil Letheri and not with our go-to main characters, the Malazans. But maybe he’ll come back to it later with them too. I did really enjoy this quote, mostly because it’s so in line with what I’ve been thinking about for the last few days:

After all, whoever decided that competition is always and without exception a healthy attribute? Why that particular path to self-esteem? Your heel on the hand of the one below. This is worth something? Let me tell you, it’s worth nothing. Nothing lasting.

I needed to hear someone agree with me, so thanks Steven Erikson!

But overall, I did think the whole LETHERAS IS THE USA, ONLY EVEN WORSE thing was way overdone, and that felt a little childish/simplistic to me in some ways and detracted from the reading experience. To be fair to it, the book was published in 2004, so it’s a little bit more understandable. we were all very angry at the US at that point (and still are, but let’s not go there now).

I still think Erikson is really good at doing very visually impressive scenes, especially when magic is involved. I would love to see a visual adaptation of this series eventually, because I do think it’s be worth it. (fingers crossed for an animated series)

Characters - I think I actually enjoyed nearly all of the characters here, even though most of them were completely new, which is quite good. Tehol and Bugg were a bit hit and miss for me, sometimes they were genuinely interesting/entertaining, sometimes they were just those two idiots making sex jokes and it felt very out of place with the rest of the story. I think I enjoyed the Tiste Edur better than the Letheri, simply because we got to know the Edur better. Some of the Letheri characters, like the queen, the prince and a few of the other court members are just plain caricatures, and I feel that that isn’t quite the case for the Edur, even the Warlock King (though he comes close).

Favorite characters: Seren Pedac, Trull Sengar, Bugg Least favorite characters: Feather Witch, Ublala(I felt the joke was really repetitive/childish and it got on my nerves fast) Favorite POV: Seren, Trull (pretty consistent this time) Least favorite POV: Tehol, Shurq Favorite scene: The tornadoes of bone/Rhulad’s first return Least favorite scene: Most of the silly sex jokes Book rankings so far: 1.MoI, 2.MT, 3.DG, 4.HoC, 5.GoTM

#shinylitwick reads books #midnight tides #malazan #malazan book of the fallen #it says something about this series that book 1 seems to be the one everyone likes the least

1 note · View note

fdowling-stan · 7 years

Text

A promise

Hello! I’m so sorry it took me ages. Here’s the request I got waaay back when I was too busy with school. A request about girl having an eating disorder from some lovely anon. Here you go, I’m so sorry you’ve waited so long and hope this isn’t trash. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you again skipping your meals, A?” Her closest friend, M, asked her that morning. He was criticizing her for awhile about that, asking her to stop with it already, hoping she will listen to him.

“I got used to it already. It is not a big deal anyway.” She claimed.

“Not a big deal?” M exclaimed. “Are you serious? You’ve lost so much weight, your face looks tired and you are completely out of energy to do anything. You’re ruining your body, A. It is not healthy!”

“But I’m fat.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that you are not? Huh? Girl, I guess under that shirt your ribs are standing out!” He sighs.

She just looked away, stubborn.

“I’m gonna tell him.” He said.

“No!” She looked immediately “No, you can’t. You promised you won’t!”

“I promised I won’t if you stop with it. But you didn’t, you continued skipping your meals, kept starving every day. He needs to know.”

“But how will he react? I mean, he’ll think of me as…”

“Shush. Don’t start.“ M said. “He doesn’t even see what we others do because dude is completely in love that he sees you as perfect. And as you didn’t wanna have sex with him yet, he didn’t check you out much so you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. But it’s enough!”

“I’m not quitting. I’m almost at my ideal weight.”

“Your ideal weight, my ass. You are underweight! It isn’t okay.” He rose his tone. Then he sighed. “Look, I’m so worried about you I can’t let anything happen to you. You’re like my little sister and you need help.”

She tried to protest but he cut her off. ”I’m not listening to your stubbornness again. I’m going to tell him, he needs to know. And I’m doing all this because you mean so much to me and you know it.”

He then just left.

———–

“She? She what?” B put his hand in his hair. “I had no idea. What an idiot was I? How come hadn’t I seen it?”

“Hey, easy.” M patted him. “It’s important that you go now at her place and have a deep talk about it. And I can look for a therapist if that doesn’t work, but I hope she will listen to you.”

“Yeah.. Uh…” B sighs deeply. “Thanks man, I’m going there right now.

————

“Where am I?” A silently asked, realizing how dizzy she feels. She opened her eyes but wasn’t fully conscious.

“At the hospital.” her favorite voice came from somewhere.

“B?” She asked, blinking.

“God, I was so worried.” He walked to her bed.

“Why am I here?”

“You passed out. I came to your house to talk to you and it was unlocked. When I came in and saw you unconscious I freaked out. I carried you to the car and drove here.” he sighed.

“Oh God.” She swallowed and then there was a brief silence. “Did you tell my parents?”

“Not yet. But that’s not our main problem, is it?” B asked. She just looked away.

“Why, honey? Why did you do it? Why didn’t you eat? I mean I’m a jerk for not noticing it and for spending too much time studying last few weeks that I didn’t have enough time for you, but still?”

“I just hate myself. I hate the way I look, how fat I am. I couldn't…”

She then bit her lip.

“Couldn’t what?”

She looked in his eyes for a brief moment and then looked away. “Undress in front of you. I just…”

“Oh, baby.” he sighed.”Come on! That is so wrong!” He waved his head. He then sat on her bed.

He took her hand in his and brought it to his lips and kissed it. “Is that the reason you didn’t want to sleep with me?” He whispered.

She pursed her lips ”Well…” She dragged.

He scoffed in disbelief. “My God? For real? How many times I’ve told you you’re beautiful and that I love everything about you. I stopped doing it because I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable?” he sighed, pausing for a moment.

“I know. But it still doesn’t change anything. I am f…”

“Fucking beautiful. Yes you are.” He put a finger over her lips.

“That’s not what I was about to say.” She smiled.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. Then he came closer.

His hand tugged at her sheet, moving it away from her, while his hand reached at the nightgown she was wearing.

“What are you doing?” She shockingly asked, clutching at his hand.

He was anyway way to determine and she was too weak to stop him. He rolled her gown up to under her breasts, exposing her body to him.

“Please.” She didn’t know how to feel at that moment. She didn’t even know what he was doing, she was too dizzy from all the medicines that were in her.

He lowered his head and kissed her stomach. All around it. He then went a bit upward kissing the lowest rib exposed.

She then sighed deeply, still nervous. He has seen her body for the first time. It was making her so anxious for whole time she was in love with him and it happened.

His lips gently hovered over her skin and kissed her belly. He then moved away.

“Do you now see what I was talking about?” She tried to roll her gown down but he didn’t let her. Instead, he leaned closer and kissed her lips deeply. One hand was holding her hands on the edges of her clothing while the other found it’s way in her hair, pulling her closer.

She couldn’t handle him anymore, so she gave in, kissing him back. She knew, if she does, she’ll start to cry. But what the hell, she was anyway too weak.

When he pulled away he moved his hand from.her hair to dry off her tears.

“You probably think of me now that I'm…”

“Thinking wrong because of everything and because of the medicines, yeah, I do and you do.” He cut her off again.

She then bit her lip. There was a brief silence between them until she spoke. “You are really bad at finishing sentences, you know.” She joked, making them both laugh.

His other hand reached then at his belt and unclasped it.

“What are you doing now?” She asked again, now less stressed and more intrigued, a bit of teasing in her voice.

He didn’t say a word, just looked at her eyes. She looked at him, raising her brow quizzically.

He then lifted his shirt up and exposed his chubby stomach.

She looked at what he was doing and he teased “Oh you are more interested in what I have down there then my eyes. I’m hurt.” He fakely placed a hand over his heart.

“That’s not! I did not! It’s not what I…” As she struggled to explain, he just laughed and leaned to kiss her lips to save her own self from mumbling more.

“God you’re sweet when you’re clumsy.”

She bit her lip again.

He then took her other hand and placed it on his stomach, squeezing at it.

“Look what a great six pack I have.” He made her hand hover over his stomach and touch it. “Huh?” he chuckled.

“But I don’t mind it. It suits you. It is cute.” She said. “I love you.”

“Then what made you think I would love you any less because of your body? Especially when it is so hot that it makes me hard immediately.”

“B!” She punched his shoulder. “Stop it! We’re in a hospital!” She chuckled.

He chuckled too, leaning in to kiss her again.

“What I was trying to say is that I don’t give a fuck how you look as long as you are healthy. And this” he let his thumb hover over her rib “this isn’t healthy. I want you to see your body as a beautiful and sexy, the way I see it.” He lifted his hand and placed it on her cheek, fondling it.

She relaxed more than ever and took a deep breath, taking his face in her hands.

Just as she was about to pull him in for one more kiss he added “Okay, not completely as I see it, but uhm… You know” he teased.

She bursted into laughter, waving her head from his silliness. He gladly accepted her laughter into his mouth, kissing her again.

“You bastard.” She chuckled against his lips, biting it reproachfully.

He grinned, smiling at her at last.

“I love you.” She said.

“I love you too.” He kissed her hand, squeezing it between his.

She gently pulled him towards her, closed her eyes, only to feel his finger on her lips.

“You promise me that you will never ever do this again! And that you’ll eat normally and let me spoil you a little bit with sweets.”

“If that again has something to do with…”

“Shush.” He whispered against his finger, partly touching her lips. “Just promise.”

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and looked at him.

“I promise.”

#love #love story #love imagine #imagines #my writing #writing #reading #long reads #something to read #crush #crush imagine #crush story

8 notes · View notes