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#but why does one always have to die it seems
bunny-yan · 2 days
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Hi! I'm a fan of your yan! Hero/reincarnated reader and I would like to ask if you could write a scenario where the reader has reincarnated again but this time instead of running away they just stay in the village, and in this life, Tasman doesn't end up searching for the reader because they haven't left the village. Because of this, the reader just stays in the village and just so happens to start a relationship with a kind farm boy.
So while Tasman is out marrying another mermaid/fairy queen/princess, the reader is just having the time of their life on a large farmhouse with their new lover. By the time Tasman finds out it's too late because he's already married and it would ruin his reputation if he ever decided to leave his wife for a (now married to a farm boy) reader because while he will stay a hero he won't be as respected by the kingdom for leaving a kind and respected woman, then trying to go for a married woman.
Reputation? Respect?? What does he care what the kingdom thinks of him when he’s the only thing standing between them and world devastation? The only reason he’s morally “good” in the eyes of the kingdom is because they follow the goddess’s teachings which so happens to be who he’s blessed by. The crimes he commits always have something to do with you so there is a much greater chance that you receive the backlash for his unhero like behavior than he does. They can’t hurt him, both because they physically can’t and they need to remain on his good side so they don’t die. But, you? They can hurt you.  In one of the realities he makes a deal with the king to legally imprison you so others turn a blind eye to his not so moral actions. A deal they’re willing to make if it’s for the greater good, ya know?  Tasman doesn’t care about other people. He barely considers them people. The only reason he plays nice and doesn’t take advantage of his supernatural abilities is because he believes it would be too much of a headache to completely upend life as you know it. He keeps up appearances of the righteous hero so he can comfortably do whatever he wants. The only person whose opinion matters to him is yours, though it doesn’t seem to mean much when your wants and desires stray from a future where the two of you are together or you’re alone. 
TW: suggests death
The cicadas always seemed to scream the loudest right before the sun pierced the horizon. 
A feverish kiss was shared right before a frantic embrace as promises of his quick return caressed your ears. You held each other like it was the last time you’d ever get to. 
You promised you’d wait. 
Unwanted tears flooded your eyes and you couldn’t help but feel selfish because you knew why he had to go. To want him to stay by your side when he was destined for something greater, the destined savior that would be revered when his mission was successful, because it had to be successful. Because he was going to return to you. 
So you let him go. 
Waiting long after his caravan disappeared from the dirt paved road, you remembered his words, his vow. It was enough to ease the burden on your heart for now. It had to be. 
Life was never quite the same without him. 
The first year, you’d look to every corner as if he’d appear, every closed door as if you were waiting for him to burst through and wrap his arms around you and promise something new. That he’d never leave you now that his mission was fulfilled. 
It was a hope that was too soon. 
You felt anxious the second year. Attempting to live as if such desperate yearning wasn’t what consumed your mind the minute you opened your eyes. You worked, ate, slept, moved through life as if someone else was living for you. 
By the third, your loneliness had reached a peak. It was suffocating. His memory, the touches that no longer lingered, words that you’d play over and over in your mind to convince yourself to trust him. To trust that he was coming back. To chase away the anger that would turn into guilt, knowing full well why he couldn’t visit you. You’d convinced yourself that sending letters would compromise his position. That he would if he could, but fighting the demon king was already too much of a burden. You didn’t want to strain him further with your selfish expectations. You’d wait. You’d waited this long, you could wait a little longer. 
The fourth was bright with celebration. It rekindled a new hope in you as people praised him, thanked him, worshipped the ground he walked on for saving you from the disaster. Joy was bright in everyone’s faces as they danced and laughed now that the dark cloud had finally lifted. You clasped your hands together, fingers fidgeting as you looked along the horizon, waiting. Almost every day you waited, impatient but understanding that there was probably plenty he had to do now that the war was over. He couldn’t just rush back to you. So you waited. Long after the sun disappeared. Long before the cicadas grew so loud you couldn’t bear to think. 
You were treated like a widow. 
Five years had passed with no word. People tried to be careful whenever they discussed the boy who’d grown up in this town. Everyone knew the relationship the two of you had, which is why they were especially careful when mentioning his marriage. Occasionally someone would slip up and you couldn’t help the flinch that would rip through your body.
You couldn’t understand. You waited. You did what you said you’d do, so why? Did the promise the two of you made mean nothing? You couldn’t help the days you locked yourself in your room, unable to bear the heartbreak drenched in grief. 
The town was quiet on nights like those. Grateful for the cicadas that almost drowned that haunting wail. 
It was too soon to think about a new relationship. 
Sure, it had been six years since you’d last seen him, but you still felt an ache in your soul and it was too new of a wound to hide with friendly smiles. 
He was someone you’d grown up with. He was well aware of your relationship with Tasman. It made it even harder. You don’t know why you accepted his offer to go out on a date. Maybe it was the persistence or if you had grown tired of hurting with no relief. 
You wondered if it would remind you of him. If you’d compare the two, and you were right. But he was nothing like Tasman. The more time you spent with him, the easier it was to recognize he was nothing like your first love. 
It was a relief. 
For the first time you thought, maybe you could move on.
You began to smile again. He pointed it out on one of your dates. The two of you would often camp out wherever the sun shined the brightest, content to feel its ray on your skin as you held each other and talked. His observation didn’t cause the knee jerk reaction you thought it would. 
The raging pain from memories of who you were before. The dull ache you carried that seemed to sting a little less with each passing day. 
You looked at him and finally realized what he meant to you.
The man who brought back your smile. The one who helped you realize your would had scarred nicely.
It wasn’t much. He couldn’t offer you the world, but what he did offer was worth more. He was kind and thoughtful, he listened, and his flaws touched you a lot deeper than you thought capable. There was no question, no hesitation when he asked you to marry him. 
For the first time, you truly began to remember what happiness felt like. 
It happened during the night. On a day you would never have assumed would hold as much importance as it did. 
Your eyes were forced open as a violent cough racked through your body. Sitting up from the bed, you felt a pounding in your skull. 
It was supposed to be night. A strange uneasiness crept in your body at how bright your room was. 
You climbed out of bed when you realized he wasn’t laying next to you, shuffling to the window and feeling your heart stop at the sight of the barn. It was engulfed in flames. 
You screamed his name as you ran down the stairs, knowing he would’ve woken you if he realized something was wrong. Gasping at the sight of flames spreading through your house, you ran to the back door to escape the heat that was dangerously creeping towards you. 
Slamming the back door open, you called for him again, rushing towards the barn before coming to a dead halt when you realized it was too late for the hose. You would have to watch helplessly as his family’s home burned to the ground. 
Where was he? Why wasn’t he answering you? Did something happen to him?
Anxious fear told you  to do something. That you needed to find him. You didn’t know where you would go or who to ask for help, but everything else could wait. At least until you knew he was okay. 
“Lover,” a familiar voice said, causing you to whip around. .
It felt as if time had stopped as a look of realization passed across your features when the stranger walked close enough for your eyes to make out his features. What was he doing here? Standing still, watching you as if this was completely normal.
Tasman.
You couldn’t help the dread you felt at the smile on his face. The familiar smile he always wore. A smile that didn’t ackowledge the dumbfounded horror on your face or the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes that stung from the smoke or the unwilling realization that there was no chance you’d ever see him again. 
His eyes seemed alight with something sinister and the flames that licked the barn behind you only heightened the unearthly glow in them that grew as he came closer. 
This wasn’t the reunion you imagined. It wasn’t one you wanted anymore. Why was he here? Where was he?
He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, your body too limp to resist his affections as he squeezed you tightly. 
“I’ve missed you.” 
The cicadas always seemed to scream the loudest right before the sun pierced the horizon, but despite the crackling flames that lit the sky, they were quiet. 
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gnomebinary · 3 days
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This is my protocol bingo! (Thank you as always osric.com).
Lena is just doing her evil job - No thoughts, no morals, no alligence. Girlboss.
Nobody ever finds out Jmart's real names - I just think that would be tragic, and fit in with what RQ have been saying about this not being too attached to Archives.
Redemption arc - There was a notable lack of these in Archives even though forgiveness and making a conscious effort to behave morally were important themes in the later seasons. I'm ready for Mr Bonzo to have Kylo Ren's exact redemption arc where he's redeemed mostly through kissing. I don't even care who he kisses.
Froyo trip - It's pretty clear that we're being told that this is Somewhere Else through things like the Archives staff having tea and the OIAR staff having coffee. The s1 Archives gang iconically got icecream, so I'm gunning for a froyo trip, and a Gwen monologue about preservatives.
Colin dies first - He's just so killable. Plus, Celia can't die until they do her reveal and they'll probably want to build up to it, Sam can't die because he's the driving force behind investigation into Magnus, Alice can't die because she kinda makes the whole show, Gwen can't die because she's mid-arc and it is of the type that if left unfinished it would be anticlimactic not tragic, and Lena can't die because the impact would be pretty low.
Nostalgic PC games - I LOVE that RQ appears to be into old tech. I want to see Chester and Norris play Catz 5. Lowfi retro charm.
Dyhard - I go back and forth on this one, it feels too obvious what with the hot drinks imagery workplace annoyances to lovers stuff, but at the same time it does Just Make Sense.
Somebody becomes disabled - In Archives people were injured a lot, but none of that amounted to a long-term physical disability, except for Melanie's blindness. Feels like something to do in Protocol.
Police brutality - Feels like a theme that Jonny still has more to say about, and an incredibly easy one to weave into this kind of story.
Alice is hiding something - I actually think she isn't but y'all are saying it.
Alice naming stuff has consequences - She does it so much and Colin warned her off it, clearly seeming concerned but not explaining why, I think it will have unforeseen and damaging consequences.
Someone has a pet - In Archives, especially in the earlier seasons, everyone was notably unattached. Martin has a mum to take care of, but nobody has partners or children. I think this was partly because it made them easier to manipulate, and partly because it meant that tragedy could be dialled up: Sasha dying was sad, but not as gutwrenching as Daisy dying because Daisy's relationships were more fleshed out because it was later in the series. We're already bucking that trend with Celia's son, so I think we might see a pet too. Also, the pet will probably die.
Alice dies in the last season - Alice is very killable but she's also the heart and soul of the character relationships, so I think they will kill her but they'll wait to do it, and then do it mid-final season as an OOH THEY WENT THERE turning point, like how Tim dying brought in a new, darker era for Archives.
Conclusion that love isn't what makes you human - At London Comicon in October, Alex or Jonny (I forget) said that if Archives was about what makes you a monster, Protocol is about what makes you human. I think it's kinda trite if love is the answer, and I think the conclusion re love will be that monsters can love, because that's cooler. Hell yeah romantic monsterfucking.
Celia evil - I LOVE that we're seeing another Welsh person, but she doesn't sit well with me.
Agnes returns but we don't hear her speak - The tree on the other side of the rift is still alive, and if that universe was this one then that means that Agnes may still be alive. Jonny and Alex have said that they regret not doing more with Agnes, and I don't think they'll miss out on the opportunity to use her again. However, I think the fact that she doesn't speak is central to her tragic character and role as Jon's character foil, and I don't think they'll change that. I actually posted a tiktok about this.
Scene on London public transport - We're already seeing our gang at the pub and on dates, I think we're going to get some tube content.
Jmart fate worse than death - They're going to have us WISHING that they died in mag200.
Fears never treated as separate - I just think we're over that.
Breakup - They're getting the character relationships in early, so I'm predicting an onscreen breakup, because that's one of the few ways that we didn't see relationships between characters going bad in Archives.
Gerry's life gets ruined again - I'm sorry guys but I don't think they're going to let him have peace. He's going to get dragged into the OIAR situation and he's going to suffer.
Alice's brother lives - People are already noting similarities between Alice and Tim, I think that it'll be essentially the same character beat again if her brother dies. Adapt, improvise, overcome, RQ.
Another Michael - Just another character called Michael, unrelated to the four existing Michaels. I wasn't going to put this because Jonny is very aware of the four Michael problem, but this man plagurised his own full legal Christian name, so anything is possible.
Jack is Agnes' Jack - I think it's cool if we all think about how there was actually a massive age gap between Agnes and Jack because she didn't seem to age past her twenties, so he was absolutely a child when she was an adult. Not that I want to have Discourse or anything, that relationship was hecked up and complex in plenty of other ways, just because it's interesting.
Onscreen kiss - They said they wouldn't do it during Archives and then they did and it wasn't that gross, so I'm ready to see it happening again. They might have a relationship between allosexuals this time, I don't think they're going as far as onscreen fucking, but I'm game to be surprised. Insert joke about reusing the whimpering noises from Archives here.
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briefpeachdinosaur · 19 hours
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dazai and flirting
NSFW Minors do not interact. Mention of suicide ( It's dazai ) And this is just an Observation of how dazai flirts with women, why and when.
•I know it seems silly But when dazai flirts most of the time and what we have seen so far, is that he always wants something from the women he flirts with.
• It is either related to go and Do a double suicide with him or that he Plans something ahead already.
•for example when higuchi was there for the first time, he flirted because he noticed there was something wrong and decided to spy on her. And he was right.
• or with the nurse, I know there is a big discussion how he and the nurse must have had Sex but I think he was A to injured to do it ( without him being hurted ) and B it didn't (at least for me) came across like they did it lol.
•LMAO he always becomes a Poet when he flirts LOL.
• He ALWAYS makes poems.
• dazai knows how to Deal with women.
• he is skilled in flirting lets not forget that he does has one night stands (comformed by chuuya)
• but I do believe that he respects women.
• he never flirts or ask for a double suicide with yosano or any of the women in his work place, I think it Shows how much he respects them.
• (I'm also not saying he dosen't respect women whom he ask to take there lifes with him btw)
•( if he would offer ME a double suicide bye guys i would have said yes)
• but we are all like this that we have extra respect for some and not for some others.
• if however he ask a women to make a double suicide with him and they turn him down he dosen't pressure him. He might be like " but a double suicide dosen't work alone Belladonna " but let go after that. ( as we saw with him and the waitress lol)
• I also think he notice If a women is not into him in that way he'll not pressure her or try to Manipulate her into doing smt she Dosen't want to.
•I think he notice right away if she is into him or not.
• so like he walkes into a Bar and sees how a women looks at him he knows.
•when he Talks to her he knows if she really wants to or not.
• i think he is the typ of guy who likes someone who really wants to sleep with him just like how he wants to sleep with them.
•I think if he sees a women being harrased he probaly do something. He is not an ass just a big tease who likes to annoy people.
•i also don't think he would try his shoot to them after helping them ( he isn't an idiot as we all know he is super smart)
• i think he has a normal Sex drive.
•now lets go to the suicidal part.
• I think we all overlook how it is very selfish and greedy from him to want a women to take her life with him.
•he is basiclly asking to throw her life away for him and her future with that. I think if she changed her mind he be like : what serious ?
• I think he would let a big shign pass his mouth and be like : well It's your choice after all...
•tbh I think he, deep down, he know he can't die bc he promised oda that he will do something that will help people around him.
•I think dazai has a big disconnetion to himself, aka his feelings and the World and humans in generell.
•I think thats why he dosen't see a good point in living cuz he is so disconnected from the World and he Dosen't understand why or perhaps Dosen't even know.
• not to mention the mafia really messed with him and his moralitys. I know he himself is already messed up but imagine he grew up in the ADA like ranpo.
•I'm quit sure he would have been a bit different then.
• Perhaps deep down he dosen't wants to Die but he sees this as the only chance to something better. To be free from all this pain he dosen't even get.
• Dazai dosen't realize that the people he cares for also care for him equally.
• but have you noticed whenever he tried to end his life it was bc he Planed smt ahead ALL THE TIME ( ok maybe almost all the time)
• idk if it was intentional but when he jumped into that Lake he met Tiger boy remembere ?
• Or how he was there durning the investigation of the death of that women where he told Tiger boy that ranpo dosen't has an ability acually.
• now this was intensional, when he, like I said, ask higuchi to kill hersef with him.
• or why he was so overly friendly with Nobuko Sasaki.
(I read that sasaki was more dangerous in the manga )
• He KNEW there was smt wrong
• Poor kunikida tho...
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yoitsjuli · 1 year
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The way popular media went from “here’s two male characters who have an incredible amount of chemistry and fans ship them but it’s not canon and one or both of them are with women” to “here’s two male characters who have an incredible amount of chemistry and fans ship them and it’s canon but only in the way that one of them has an unrequited love for the other and either pines miserably forever or dies.” Progress right?
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kazz-brekker · 7 months
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me reading a romantasy that is mean to mostly be a exciting and sexy read: don't overanalyze the politics and world-building don't overanalyze the politics and world-building don't overanalyze–
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pastel-rights · 2 months
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And then I finally end it off with some doodles of them… they make me feel things.
#ringmaster doodles#sona art#( they’re very much the theme of. love in the face of the neverending march of time. )#( being immortal and knowing you will outlive the man you love because someone else deemed he unworthy of eternal life. )#( he may still have tens of thousands of years left. sure. but you know that those will go by and he’ll disappear in the blink of an eye. )#( and you’ll sit there on his death bed. wondering why did things end up like this? )#( wondering what you did wrong. and if you could have done something different. you’ll always ask yourself. )#( if he lives a life of happiness and comfort or did he live a life as gruesome and miserable as the wars on earth? but you won’t know. )#( and the more you think about it. the more you realize it. how nihilistic he was. and how he never seemed to smile even in the good times.#he always seemed to have a frown or a scowl on his face. he always seems bothered and unhappy. )#( so you wonder if it was something you did. because you know you aren’t perfect. you’re hardly good. )#( you wonder if he’s mad at you. maybe he was. but he doesn’t have the heart to stay mad. )#( and that’s love in the face of adversity. knowing that no matter how bad it gets. he loves you as you love him. )#( and you wonder why he never smiles. because he truly never does. and so you ask him. honest and true. )#( and he tells you there isn’t anything worth smiling for. nothing in this whole world. )#( but he smiles at you. it’s always small. and it’s always brief. )#( but that smile. that smile means love. )#( that hug. as flimsy as it may be. that hug means love. )#( of course. he isn’t affectionate. if anything. he detests it. he hates physical contact of any kind. you’ve noticed. )#( which is a shame. you love your hugs and your kisses and your hand holding. )#( but even if he doesn’t like it. he lets you do it. because it makes you happy. )#( and you learn that when you’re happy. he’s a little less miserable. )#( of course. not all love is equal. and not all love is fair. )#( the love from a lover and the love from the father can never equate to one another. )#( no one will love you in the same way a father or mother loves you. in the same manner. no one will ever love you the way I do. )#( because my love will remain with you. long after I disappear. )#( and as bitter as the idea of my own existence coming to an end is. knowing I did all of this for. essentially nothing. )#( that I’ve gone through all this pain and suffering and hardship just for it to all amount to nothing. for it to be fucking useless to try.#I get to die knowing that you’ll always love and be loved. and that’s enough for me… )#( … maybe there is something worth smiling for after all. )
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shallowrambles · 3 months
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I actually think the Benny in Dean's Werther Project hallucination was truer than Dean's idealized recollection/memory of him.
And deep down, even though he rejected it for self-preservation, Dean knew it. That's why his anxiety manifested the way it did in the first place. TLDR: It's alllll about Andrea.
A lot of this is redundant, but here ya go.
Benny was acquiescing of the execution of corrupt loved ones. Blood Brothers is a crucial Benny episode. It's illuminating...and unflattering.
Reality check? Benny was mostly okay with "a sacred executioner (Dean)" doing the painful dirty work so he didn't have to. Benny might also be particularly sympathetic to monster-suicide, as that's what he chose for himself.
Benny directly showed us in-canon that he was resolved to kill even his most beloved "corrupt family members"--like Andrea Kormos. She was quickly deemed too far-gone and corrupt, nevermind that their conversation was too short, too condescending, and too aggressive on Benny's part to explore meaningful change and solutions.
So yeah.
I think the real Benny might be totally game for Dean killing himself so his loved ones didn't have to. Especially if Dean himself posed a risk of doing harm/attacking said loved ones, as Andrea Kormos did when she attacked Benny.
That was the "real" Benny all along. And that hurts.
///
Benny didn't try to convince Andrea. He instantly judged her, offering no validation of the emotional struggle with addiction or alternative way forward.
Benny believes in sparing loved ones the task of killing their corrupted loved ones. He was part of practicing it with regards to Andrea. See below:
ANDREA takes his hand, but stays where she is. ANDREA: Where, Benny? BENNY: What are you talking about? Anywhere. [ANDREA looks down.] You're not leaving here, are you? And you never were.
So, yeah. Okay. He's clocking her intentions here, but he's also doing a lot of heavy lifting assuming her thoughts, ascribing the most uncharitable mode to her motivations. (Using an always-and-never statement to boot.)
It comes off so condescending. It's an accusatory mode of communication.
He jumps straight to the vibe of, "you never wanted to leave here, you're corrupted!" whereas her "Where, Benny?" speaks more of desperation and fear. (It reads to me more like: "How, Benny? Why should I fight what I am, Benny? I can't do this, Benny. Can't fight this. It's too hard.")
But he...doesn't seem interested in helping her rediscover herself. He doesn't validate her feelings or illuminate a path to redemption using his own past sins to help pave the way.
He doesn't even talk about another way forward. (Nevermind that he himself did some pretty awful crimes on the high seas for decades before "redeeming" himself. (Rules for thee, but grace for me?)
ANDREA: We have everything we need right here. The operation is still perfect. We can ride the high seas, plunder together. We can have the life we always wanted. BENNY: What I wanted was to leave a burning crater behind. I wanted to put your memory to rest. ANDREA: But I'm not a memory. Benny, I'm right here. BENNY: What I loved – it ain't here anymore. It was snuffed out a long time ago by monsters like me... like what you've become.
I just want to emphasize how this conversation is barely a conversation. It's an attack on Andrea before a real conversation can even begin to take place.
The mere act of being afraid of leaving, of having Stockholm Syndrome and losing her "father," of feeling connected to the Easy Mode of vampiric hunting is met with an over-the-top attack on her character.
(You're not you. You're corrupt. You've become like me, because of me, and I don't want you anymore. You're dead to me if you're like me. You can't be redeemed...even though *I* was.)
It's a flagrant dehumanization.
///
What could he have said? Is this a tonal argument?
I guess it could be if you squint, but he directly insulted her, denying her existence to her face. That's why she reacts with a desperate, "Benny, I'm right here."
She's not a memory. She's monstered.
He could start with acknowledging how hard it is to be a 'human-ethics-centered’ vampire. He could share his own struggles. Show some empathy, or at least some sympathy! At bare minimum, he could discuss a new way forward. ("Anywhere," isn't a discussion.) Instead, we get...zilch.
He's much too busy being horrified by the apparent corruption of The Perfect Woman.
He goes straight to the vibe of: "you're an irredeemable monster."
///
Is it worse to go too far...or not to try at all?
And here's where the Sam-Bobby-Dean triad of demon detox takes on a more positive light. Their methods may have been cruel and harsh. (Detox is an ugly, horrific, twisting, screaming-and-lying thing. Detox tells you that drug dependence is who you are. It tells you you like the disease. That you perhaps ARE the drug/disease).
But anyway, Bobby-Dean-Cas did not give up on "corrupted/addicted/overly righteous" Sam.
Likewise in season 10, the methods of Sam-Cas-Charlie were evil, but they did not give up on "corrupted/disinhibited/unfeeling" Dean. Although Sam and Cas started out being resolved to kill Dean, they realized they couldn't. Wouldn't. (In season 10, perhaps Sam is in his mind resolving not to trigger the abandonment Dean got so unhinged about in season 8.)
So I guess the question is, what's more evil? In SPN, is it worse to go too far...or to barely try at all? They're both bad, perhaps, but one is driven by hope, and the other by nihilism: "we're all damned."
Benny’s arc is rooted in nihilism from start (Andrea, revenge) to finish (torn apart in Purgatory, as he probably intended to go out).
///
I think Andrea's feelings were obviously hurt; she was insulted...and with very good reason.
I mean, it's no wonder she attacks him. She cries, "You think you're better than me now?" He says he thinks they're all damned, and that certainly enrages her.
She senses, perhaps correctly, that it's really just lip service.
His actions imply that he really does think he's better than her. He did crimes and got redeemed. She's not even gonna get that chance. Not really.
(She has the "chance," I suppose. Technically. Sorta. But he purposely agitates her with his nihilistic lamentation of man-woe, spending much of his time judging her, not trying to convince her.)
You see, even when he messes up, Benny still "gets to be" himself. Even if that's a corrupted vampiric self. He's still "Benny." Not Andrea. When Andrea is a struggling addict, a vampire, Andrea "just is a memory."
Andrea is immediately disallowed her own identity simply for voicing that it might be easier to stick to the vampiric ways of hunting to live. It's black-and-white, abruptly cruel judgement, even before Dean gives the killing blow.
///
Later in the season, via deleted scene, Benny completely falls off the wagon, insisting "Dean doesn't wanna know (about his feeding off innocents)."
Benny is a symbolic perfectionist here. (As Dean himself can be when it comes to hero-worship and people.) Benny wants to remain idealized, just like he wanted Andrea to remain idealized. They're eaten alive by the symbolic, cooing Empty: "Wouldn't you rather remain a fond memory than a constant, festering disappointment?"
Benny's okay with that. And in the end, Dean's okay with that, too. That's why both Amelia and Benny feel like mirages. If Benny is "away," Dean can fantasize that maybe Benny got to be “King of purgatory,” and most importantly, Benny gets to live in the idealized space Sam could never live up to: "brother who never let me down."
(Dean is struggling to cope with life in this season. I think his hero worship of people is something he tends to do to help combat the abandonment he feels is inevitable. And yes, as I've said before, I think this is because John was a hot-and-cold caretaker!)
The deleted scene implies that Dean could perhaps be content not knowing all the ways Benny fails to live up to the cartoon of Benny he's drawn in his head (as a means to cope with the disappointments of living). Benny was good because he was at arm's length, not close enough to wound, hurt, or disappoint. And as Benny's organ donor/blood donor/drug dealer, there's a comfortable dependance Dean can fall back on, giving him control and feeding into his specific brand of abandonment-neuroses.
Benny never clawed his way back the way other characters did, because the writers decided to strip away his complexity and cut out the meat of him. Give me the guy who fell off the wagon. Give me the guy in The Werther Project. That's the real Benny, and he's great. He's, to quote Amara, better than the false ideal. He's real and complicated.
//
As for Andrea's redemption, perhaps in Benny's mind, if Benny's not *immediately* enough on his own to change her behavior by *checks notes* coming at her with the least charitable assumption and denying her personhood, then she's a Lost Cause (TM). If Benny's not enough for her to change, as she was enough for Benny to change, then "no one/nothing is."
So, he goads her with harsh, black-and-white words. "It was snuffed out a long time ago by monsters like me... like what you've become." I.e. I'm a monster reformed, but you're a monster that deserves to die before we even validate your pain or talk about the chance of recovery/healing. (You were ruined/corrupted by my father in our game of war. Ouch.)
She is hurt and ofc attacks, and the sacred executioner (Dean) strikes her down (so Benny doesn't have to).
It's also potentially a kind of family annihilation/self-nihilism. That in Benny's mind both he and Andrea deserve to die for being "damned." (Indeed, Benny will submit to his own murder with nary a complaint.) I think this latter one is perhaps more charitable, that Benny was always in a bad place--suicidal.
Again, Benny’s dependence on Dean as drug dealer was comfortable for Dean, allowing him to both keep Benny at arms’ length/not let him close enough to be de-idealized and hurt him the way his family and loved ones have, while at the same time being forever on the hook of blood donor/organ dependency (the symbol of the in 8x03 cooler). Benny’s life on the show was like Benny’s death: a figurative open door that you never intended to open. And Season 8 is all about surreal, idealized figments.
ANDREA: You think you're better than me now? BENNY: No. I think we're all damned. ANDREA snarls and her fangs descend. DEAN stabs her from behind and then cuts off her head. BENNY and DEAN look at each other before BENNY looks down at ANDREA’s body.
Anyway, that's why I wanted Andreas Kormos for Purgatory II. I still do.
I was also so partial Andrea's rage, disappointment, and confusion. I wanted to see Andrea versus Benny. At minimum, I wanted Andrea back as The Stockholm bookend to the Nihilism, even if Benny was ripped to pieces (as his nihilism would predict). Andrea still had a will to live, even if it was evil/vampiric, and that's far more interesting to me.
///
All in all, it would be completely in-character for the nihilistic Benny we got to know to be comfortable seeing Dean go the way of a corrupted Andrea. We didn't see Benny’s nihilistic worldview develop or shift in a meaningful way during the course of the show. Indeed, his nihilism actually became more severe the longer he drifted.
If "one friend" (Dean) abandoning him and some hunters tailing him is enough to get him to fall off the wagon, he had a very tenuous grasp on resilience indeed. We should all support one another and not seek to violently undermine (Hi, Sam), but at the same time we are not responsible for another person’s addictions.
Benny can be an off-key parallel like how Sam sometimes shifts the burden of his "wellness responsibility" to others? (The Benny-as-idealized-surreal-brother and Sam-as-real-imperfect brother hits hard. Benny’s addiction is excused and enabled as necessary; Sam’s is framed wholly as a choice, which...addiction is complicated. We're much less kind to family about it.)
All in all, I think it's foolish for Dean (and the audience) to think that Benny would treat Mark of Cain!Dean in any way meaningfully different than he treated Andrea Kormos.
Dean's hallucination in Purgatory was more in-keeping with what we saw out of the real Benny. The box knew that Benny was in fact the most likely of Dean's friends to argue for suicide, and it was probably uncomfortably right about that because Benny did not arc towards growth on any occasion. Dean's self-soothing narrative was the false one. Hopeful, maybe. But false.
Makes you wonder if the killing of Andrea was something that was subconsciously actually haunting Dean in a very real, gloriously complicated way. (The way I think Cas's taking of a human vessel subconsciously haunts in him 14x10 Nihilism).
I think Andrea haunts him especially in light of his own newly devolved disinhibition/loss of free will/corruption.
(The real Benny wouldn’t encourage a friend to die? We saw him do just that: tell someone they were too gone…and then watched Dean kill her so he didn’t have to.) Deep down, I think this is an example of Dean’s anxiety over the reality of what happened with Benny and Andrea. Charitably, he’s not seeing through an illusion so much as choosing to live for himself in this moment! Which is fine. We all need our fictions.
Disclaimer: I like Benny. I think all of this makes him crunchy and interesting. And it makes him make SO MUCH SENSE. He, like so many many characters in SPN...fell to nihilism. :(
#complex benny#idealization of memories#dean rewrote the narrative to self-soothe ofc because that's what dean does#like how john rewrote his memories of his loved ones in glorified two-dimensional perfection - fond memories can't let you down#but then...that's how grief works i suppose#so many of the characters devolve to honor killing + worrying that their loved ones should *at least die human* so it's not unique to benny#but this episode of benny's is so underanalyzed and it paints benny in a pretty unflattering light if you ask me#from just his conversational style with andrea *alone*#and yes he's a minor character who barely appears and is thus underwritten by design but this andrea storyline always gave me a big think#i believe in redemption but *saving sam* wasn't enough to redeem benny in my eyes - he had other issues#*shrugs* if you happen to chafe at seeing benny as anything other than perfect then you're perhaps buying INTO dean's lie/ idealization?#and i saw his returning to purgatory an opportunity to give into his own nihilism rather than being about The Cause (or dean or sam)#benny's sort-of a surface-level nice guy. i don't think that's in doubt.#BUT his achilles' heel is his own naval-gazing nihilism/misery...and that he perhaps idealizes ppl worse than dean does?#to me andrea just seemed far far more interesting. and sexier to boot. ANYWAY--#why is dean so shocked that benny was torn apart? that was benny's GOAL. dean missed the nihilism and self-annihilation all along?#not a great look for dean tbh#Unlike Sam Benny worked to save Dean’s happiness (Cas)#and that seemed to have a huge impact on dean#whose happiness never mattered#all the same they killed andrea…benny’s happiness wo even trying#so in a sense dean becomes like sam#neither seeing benny as real person struggling w nihilism#not a person who gets to be de-idealized#he gives up on andrea too quick bc benny’s happiness is not as important#benny gets the narrative dean treatment#BY dean#benny’s mental health catches dean off guard the way dean’s poor mental health surprises sam#the dean who raised me would never give up etc#the depth of person of character of emotions
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tea-cat-arts · 7 months
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(Uh, hi. Currently doing my first 3 Hopes playthrough)
WHY IS EVERYONE IN SCARLET BLAZE BEING A DICK TO MY BOY ASHE! CHRIST, WHY'D NO ONE WARN ME THAT RECRUITING HIM JUST ENDS WITH HIM BEING EMOTIONALLY KICKED IN THE NUTS FOR 12 CHAPTERS STRAIGHT!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS BLACK EAGLE FRIENDSHIPS!!!
Anyways, Shez, Mercedes, Raphael, and Rodrigue are the only characters that passed the vibe check on how they treated Ashe (so far at least). Everyone else should reconsider their life choices
#fe3h#ashe duran#vent post#the audacity of everyone to be rude to Ashe#of all the characters they couldve made suffer they chose the one thats never done anything wrong before in his life#to address some counterpoints i feel like will come up:#“Dimitri wasnt a dick to Ashe. he gave him that order-”#so i hate that order for plot reasons as i feel it removes a lot of Ashe's agency#it takes him from where he was in the original game when he had to actually evaluate his views on the kingdom. the church. and knighthood#where he actually thought about his own beliefs and values and who he wanted to fight for#to someone just following orders#Ashe does have a tendency to default to what authority tells him to do in situations where theres no right answer#but hes also contemplative and comes to his own conclusions eventually#and his own conclusions are always something hes passionate about and believes in#but this time around it seemed like he hated his decisions. was just committing to the bit. and wanted to die#as for why i think Dimitri himself is a dick for that order:#why the fuck would you send Ashe to fight his dad??? and why didnt you tell anyone else about that order???#“well they wanted to go a different direction with the support so thats why there arent repeats-”#ok but they couldve shown him talking with his friends from the previous game around camp#or paralogs#or unique dialog#they did it with Lorenz/Ferdie/Constance and Lysithea/Edelgard#im not asking for like a 3 part support chain. i just want someone to check in on him#cuz at this point i wouldnt be surprised if his end card was just a suicide note#i want ashe to have supports with Bernie. Dorothea. Lindhardt. and Lonato so bad it makes me look stupid#i am filled with salt and rage
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unabashedlygrumpy · 28 days
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sheilaerinniperonista · 3 months
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the way Sheila's described as both being covered in scars and also being a very self destructive person with little care for herself and a desire to die for a good cause (or a very long way of saying she's got suicidal tendencies yet masks it as a form of courage) makes me think she self harms. it wouldn't be out of this world tbh. coping mechanism adopted from her self hatred and a need of punishing herself for being a horrible person. she doesn't know where to put all of those chaotic feelings, and the only way she can redirect it is to herself. not out of character frankly.
#fugo.txt#self harm tw#i always loved how JoJo's is very quick in pointing that suicide is not a way of redeeming yourself or the righteous thing to do#araki has always been very vocal about subversing this thought in the japanese consciousness#and i think kouhei captured that escence perfectly with her. because at a surface she seems like the perfect example of the trope#she wants to die for a righteous cause that she believes in wholeheartedly. her courage rests in her willingness to give her life up#but when you look closer she seems almost... pathetic. doesn't she?#she wants death because she's scared of the next step. horrified by the thought she will have to face someone whos more righteous and just#...better. that thin veil of courage is actually just a lack of self preservation due to complete and utter apathy.#the cause she supposedly believes in and is ready to give up her body and soul to... she just parrots back what shes been told.#when you look close she's just a scared dangerously apathetic and depressed young girl. and that last part is very important#because ive been neglecting the most important part in this puzzle. she's just 15. she's just a little teenager#of course shes scared. of course she does all of this. she's just a fucking kid man.#thats why i think self harm on her part wouldn't be out of the blue#another thing which in the surface seems strong. when its just the product of indescribable emotional pain and anguish#and having absolutely NO support system and NO outlet#because lets remember she literally had no friends. she had nothing. when i mean nothing its fucking nothing#i think Giorno knows what she's going through because he was so close to becoming like her.#though his way of going about changing her mind was certainly... Brutish. lol#giorno vc can't wait to see how Sheila E will come outta this one!! *Sheila E tries to commit suicide* oh.#i love her so much. i get you girl its okay
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delicateimage · 5 months
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I’m scared because I think I’ve accepted dying to my eating disorder yesterday
#all the motivation to eat is just totally gone. I hate it so much it’s just like a crashing wave of depression whenever I have to#there is just absolutely no joy in eating anymore like atleast. nit eating satisfies the ana part in my brain but eating just mentally kills#me#I hate how weak it makes me not physically but like mentally#whenever I’m not eating like even if it’s during a fast I can muster up energy and motivation like I’ve been able to exercise and learn a#new language again but omg whenever I eat I just can’t do anything sometimes I can but mentally I’m sc@ed and just wanted to crawl on the#floor shrivel up and die#also I’ve been having weird dreams lately I’m scared they’re like prophetic or something but I don’t know where they’re coming from#oh and most of all I hate how sad my family is because of this… if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t even of had the courage to recover so#them seeing me fail is so painful#but why does actually being healthy and having a healthy relationship with food seem scarier….#like the ed is just over and over and over again telling me PHONY PHONY WORTHLESS WASTE POSER YOURE YSING THEM#ugh#I think today accepting death might get worse#I just got reminded of my best friend and how losing contact to her is so awful#there’s like a tear in my heart now I was never able to notice but ever since we stopped talking it’s always been there and it hurts so much#and I’m just realizing 5hat now….#like there’s no one on earth that could fill the importance she had in my life. she helped me through so much and I’ve just now realized how#much I’ve taken her for granted#it’s like another form of death in a way because how could I ever go back to having that relationship or in the same way#it’s like losing my older sister.. :(#I’d love to send her something like even just a letter thanking her because idk if she just wants to like#never talk to me again but#I think it would be easier to come to terms with everything that way…#it’s weird not knowing if you’ll die at 17 or 70 and you just have to like figure out while living every moment accepting it#somet8mes accepting the fact I will die brings a lot of comfort it usually does anyways#also it’s ed brain twlking but I’ve never felt like I’ve suffered enough to deserve my treatment#like I’ve never had the guts to just fully malnourish myself enough to have this hospitalization scare floating over be valid#especially after I’ve gained weight#and everything’s just crashing down reminding me of when I was 14 and had my first deep ed era
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lunataurora · 5 months
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kinda funny seeing that last queued tf post with me gushing in the tags abt the comic bc i havent felt joy or even an emotional connection reading mtmte for a while
#idk man something just aint right. whether im just getting hit with another depressive episode or. idk.#the writing just feels... different. it feels weirdly cartoony? even though. the beginning was also really cartoony? but this feels worse#i liked the beginning so much more i liked the characters that cared so little about each other and the overall oppressive mood#idk part of it is i really dont like typical western superhero comic tropes and writing styles at aalllllllll#i cant stand the lack of foreshadowing and 'well just believe that it was secretly always like this' and the superpowers and trying to#raise the stakes by just Saying 'you might die' but its ok nobody does nor does the concern cross your mind#and i cant tell if the jokes are worse or more frequent but certain characters dont even seem like themselves anymore to me#the last thing i enjoyed was around when rewind killed a man. everything since has felt like some marvel movie type writing and it hurts#what happened to nuance and reading between the lines my good friends nuance and reading between the lines#'the one with sunder was good its a really good horror' <- why did you lie to me. are you mad at me#it wasnt even fun..... wasnt even interesting......#isnt this supposed to be a story abt attempting to adjust to postwar life and how fucked everything is. and how no#-thing is morally cut between good/evil? theres nuance? theres depth? whered all that depth go? maybe i imagined it this whole time#like.even the thing with skids gave me less of an impact when its surrounded by such. cheezyness. it deserves more consideration? respect?#good god its a very direct depiction of a very real horror dealt to rEAL PEOPLE#AND ITS CORRELATED WITH 'OTHERS RECEIVE SUPERPOWERS FROM THIS REVELATION' FUCK YOU#i feel bad for that plotline existing in that fucking situation jesus fucking christ you can't just do something like that#like. just. 'trauma gives you superpowers and also your suffering makes others stronger' how abt i go drink bleach.#maybe someone else will have a GREAT time if i do. <- kidding but like. christ man what the fuck#does this have to do with his whole 'i shouldnt have done red alert like that' idk what to tell you boss but that was nowhere near as bad#as the skids superpower giving scene.#red alert was fine it made sense it was severely relatable. it happens. but skids? no that fucking doesnt. what is that even trying to mean#beyond yknow. what guilt does to people. and cementing the worst of the war that um. isnt going to feel much justice at all it seems#sorry im in a very. tear everything apart kind of mood#dummy posts
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Also, in now being through FNAF Sister Location, I understand what people meant about the lore of this series being fucked up. Like, I had a general idea about what the lore was. But still seeing it for myself is different, of course. And there were also some things I didn't know.
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astonmartinii · 6 months
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big reputation | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader
they may have a big reputation and they may be end game, but sometimes you need a push from your girlfriend to enter your reputation era
(also no hate to vasseur and sainz, it's just the way the fic had to go)
MASTERLIST | TIPS
f1newsandgossip
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liked by user1, user2 and 13,209 others
f1newsandgossip: after ferrari's continued chaos and inability to get anything right it seems, do you think charles leclerc will stick around and renew his contract?
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user3: i love him and i love ferrari but if he wants any shot of winning a championship he has to leave
user4: i would die to see him at red bull or even mercedes
user5: would he want to be a second driver though?
user4: babes they treat him like he's the second driver at ferrari at least there he'd have a competent car and team
user6: yes ! he has to leave, no one at that team respects him anymore
user7: he should've left a long time ago but this season has to be the final nail in the coffin
user8: all he does it protect ferrari and ferrari don't even give a shit about him it's actually sad
user9: they don't even protect him from his teammate and his teammate's parents being rude about him in the media
user10: for real the man needs to stop being a team player and tell him how it is
user11: i feel so so bad for him because his childhood dream is turning into a nightmare and through no fault of his own
user12: i know y/n is absolutely seething and the only reason she hasn't said anything yet is because charles is so in love with the team that he won't say anything bad about them
user13: i need her to give him a lil slap around to get his head in gear
yourusername
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tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: you and me got a big reputation
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user14: me being delusional: OMG THIS MEANS CHARLES IS FINALLY ENTERING HIS REPUTATION ERA
user15: and then we remember rep is an album about love first and revenge second :(
charles_leclerc: is this a taylor swift reference?
yourusername: yes it is !! i knew you were actually listening when i gave you the full eras breakdown
charles_leclerc: i'd listen to you talk about anything
yourusername: even the things you don't want to hear?
charles_leclerc: i think it has gotten to that point, yes.
user16: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ^^ ???
alexalbon: when will i be freed from the shackles of having to take cute photos of you two
yourusername: NEVER
charles_leclerc: is a seat on my jet not enough?
alexalbon: YOUR JET? i have clearly missed something here
maxverstappen1: alex is always free to fly air max (MY jet, factually)
yourusername: when did this become a dick measuring contest? (charles would win, you can all go home)
maxverstappen1: i don't want you to see my dick
charles_leclerc: i should think not verstappen
alexalbon: i don't know how i hang out with you morons
user17: gosh y/n is so sexy
user18: i am allowing myself to live in delusion and after the shitshow that was austin, y/n is initiating the reputation era and charles will either give ferrari hell or actually leave
user19: idk that man might be completely in love with y/n but he's even more in love with ferrari
charles_leclerc: nothing compares to her
user20: WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?
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charles_leclerc
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tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: hola mexico! can't wait for the weekend to start
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user22: post your team or car? no. post a random picture of your girlfriend? yes.
user23: he should post an explanation as to why his gf was being wined and dined by christian horner
yourusername: ZOOWEE MAMA
charles_leclerc: excuse me?
yourusername: instagram would ban me if i really said what i think
charles_leclerc: oh i'm blushing
yourusername: but always above all you are a cutie patootie
user24: i see posts like this and i wonder why do they always have break up rumours if they are this in love?
user19: bestie we simply cannot be believing everything we read, especially when it comes from a certain spanish paper
liked by yourusername
user24: wait what is this supposed to mean?
user19: any "insider source" at ferrari that has anti-leclerc info is usually the sainz family lol that's why other than ferrari being clowns in general charles needs to get the fuck out
pierregasly: rivalling me with just how much you post y/n
charles_leclerc: ummmm you've met her, and you wouldn't?
charles_leclerc: WAIT don't answer that
user25: so are we just ignoring that y/n was at dinner with CHRISTIAN HORNER?
user26: the red bull!charles dream a bit more feasible now and i am appropriately feral
user27: obsessed with how he's just ignoring the horner thing
user28: i am similarly obsessed with how the media are spinning this to an affair between y/n and horner LMAO
yourusername: he made us split the bill after ordering a really spenny wine :/
user29: I'M CRYING
user30: horner's like if i don't get a driver out of this dinner i will be having a nice glass of wine he's so real for that
scuderiaferrari: let's get it 💪
user31: GET A JOB. LEAVE HER ALONE
liked by yourusername
user32: lol she's so tired of being subtle
user33: TELL THEM SIS
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f1
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liked by yourusername, redbullracing and 1,450,667 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
f1: BREAKING: charles leclerc signs for red bull racing for 2024 on a four year contract
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user36: they're MUGGY for the first picture omg
user37: SOMEONE CALL THE EMERGENCY SERVICES FOR ME I CAN'T BREATHE
user38: wait so like who do i have to thank for finally making this happen?
user39: this has y/n y/ln written all over it - the dinner with horner finally makes sense
pierregasly: WHAT ?????????
user40: HE'S FINDING OUT AT THE SAME TIME AS US? DID ANYONE KNOW?
user41: THERE WILL BE NO EXPLANATION JUST REPUTATION
liked by yourusername
user42: okay since y/n and charles have referenced the reputation album so much during this whole fiasco .... taylor swift x charles leclerc piano ballad collab when?
user43: so this is il predestinato who has betrayed his team and completely blindsided him? this is why carlos has always been the superior driver
liked by carlossainz55
user44: not carlos liking this comment
yourusername: i wish he would say something with his chest, always hiding behind his parents and the spanish media ... yeah we know about that and we're no longer under that stupid contract so i can and will say this all to your face
user45: HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTT
carlossainz55: you got the move and attention you wanted stop trying to drag me into it
yourusername: babe there's a difference between you and i, you create fake cheating rumours to try and shake your teammate while your PR team is fulltime constantly having to threaten legal action over you not being able to keep it in your pants
user46: ERM QUEEN THEY STILL HAVE RACES TOGETHER
redbullracing: anyways.... WELCOME TO THE TEAM CHARLES
user47: admin what is going on?
redbullracing: i have no clue but as soon as that man is in a navy race suit i will get the tea trust
user48: so real of you
maxverstappen1: ☕️
user49: LMAO KING
yourusername: i have a feeling we might get on (no more inchidents though)
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yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 1,344,099 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: they said i did something bad, why does it feel so good?
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user51: momma does not play oh my
taylorswift: proud 🖤 🐍
yourusername: approved by our lord and saviour, thanks mother
charles_leclerc: do you need a pianist?
taylorswift: i'm sure we can work something out
landonorris: ^^ this is so unfair i thought i was the swiftie on the grid :(
danielricciardo: my rendition of our song says otherwise
user52: she really said FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK YOU TOO
user53: as she should
charles_leclerc: i'm not a playboy but i do LOVE YOU
yourusername: i love you even more
charles_leclerc: NUH UH I LOVE YOU MORE
yourusername: i would literally fight every person on earth for your hand
charles_leclerc: oh wow ... mark me scared AND horny
alexalbon: okay that's ENOUGH
user54: i'm so glad she shook him out of the ferrari daze he. might finally have a chance at the championship now
user55: i'd be afraid that ferrari may build a good car next year but then i remember it's ferrari LOL
user56: so y/n mentioned under the f1 post about a contract? was she not able to say anything about ferrari while with charles?
yourusername: yes. i was not able to say anything they considered negative. many times when i expressed disappointment in how charlie has been treated i was reprimanded by ferrari and was banned from the paddock for weekends following any statements
user57: wtf that is crazy ??? makes sense as to why charles always blames himself when it was clearly a pit/strategy issue
yourusername: ferrari have attempted to keep charlie under wraps since his second season at the team. they were worried about him becoming outspoken like seb. this goes all the way down to his music which they tried to prevent him from releasing. i'm glad he'll be given the chance to show his talents next season
user58: thank the lord charles finally left. this is insane. the reputation era was well and truly needed.
maxverstappen1: kelly wants to know whether now you'll be wag teammates that you can raid each other's wardrobes?
yourusername: of course !!! i can't wait to see her more often coffee dates are a must ( + p of course)
charles_leclerc: i'm gonna beat your ass at padel i WILL be the padel king at red bull
maxverstappen1: i will show NO MERCY
yourusername: maybe this was a bad idea ...
charles_leclerc
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,332,909 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: it saddens me to my core to be leaving the team i always dreamed of racing for and winning with, but there comes a point in your career when it's time to put your ambitions above tradition. ferrari has always been the dream for me, but the last couple of years have been a nightmare. i never thought i'd be put in a position where i'd have feelings like these about the team i love, but the constant disrespect, betrayal and the treatment of my loved ones leaves me no other choice. despite this sad ending, i am looking forward to new opportunities at red bull, racing alongside an old friend and under a competent leadership. finally, thank you to y/n and my family for being there for me during this time despite the way we were all treated. i know i will get questions, but there will be no explanation, just reputation.
view all comments
user59: he really left comments open so we could drag ferrari
user60: and drag i shall do... that man despite the absolute tomfoolery got that shitbox on the podium and NONE OF YOU SHOWED UP
user61: for real, they're out here trying to show charles as petty but then KEEP PROVING HIS POINT LOL
yourusername: i am so unbelievably proud of you. i know this was a hard choice but it's the one you had to make. today and every other day i will always be there to support you even if no one else is
user62: subtle DRAG
charles_leclerc: i love you to the moon and to saturn
yourusername: you're my invisible string
yourusername: also this is what i mean when i say reputation is a love story with a side of shade
user63: i know binotto let out a sigh of relief that he dodged this shit storm
yourusername: that fraud is SO lucky i was under contract while he was there otherwise i'd drag his ass so bad he'd be bald
charles_leclerc: i don't know how he made it out of silverstone alive after the whole finger wagging saga, i had to hold her back
sebastianvettel: i hate to say i told you so .....
charles_leclerc: SEB ????? BUT I'M DOING IT NOW, I'M NOT WASTING IT (tell christian to give me the better strategies i know you're still the o.g golden boy)
maxverstappen1: you know i can see this right?
christianhorner: and me?
charles_leclerc: @yourusername baby please take the fall for me
yourusername: I COMMENTED THAT
maxverstappen1: you guys really aren't slick... you're lucky i already love you two
christianhorner: i feel like i need to brief PR already
yourusername: if it makes it any better i'm a great baker and very generous
redbullracing: WE'LL TAKE IT
user64: @netflix make sure there's a camera in that garage at ALL TIMES
pierregasly: proud of you calmar, i hope this works out better for you than it did for me
yourusername: NO ROOM FOR PITY PARTY HERE SIR
yourusername: wait that was rude, we love you pierre
charles_leclerc: thank you pierre
pierregasly: ummmmmm tell y/n she can't say that ???
charles_leclerc: she made me see the light kinda owe her everything rn, so sorry?
christianhorner: definitely brief PR
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note: teehee here it is. MY GOD my writing block has been insane - i also went on a trip to london and got horrendously drunk and made AWFUL decisions. alas, i hope you guys enjoy this and the race later !!
EDIT: I AM SO FUCKING ANNOYED AT THIS RACE ONE DAY WHERE CHARLES IS NOT FUVKED OVER IS ALL I ASK WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS
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altieris · 6 months
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cw; obsessive!anakin, toxic!anakin, babytrapping, afab reader, 18+
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anakin skywalker is an emotional, clingy, fanatic, and obsessive little bastard.
in my heart of hearts, i believe anakin is fucking obsessed with you. he is lovesick. you're just...you, so gentle and warm. you've shown him so much love and care, and he's so so in love with you. he's ready to do just about anything for you. and hes awfully clingy, but affectionately so. he's always holding you close to his body, nuzzling his face all over yours, and kissing you excessively. sometimes it almost seems like he's trying to merge with you.
he tries to move in with you like 2 months into your relationship. he's all whiny and practically begging, "baby, we spend so much time together. why keep going back and forth like this? :(", and you solely agree cause his pout is just too pretty.
honestly, he loses his fucking mind at the mere idea of not being with you. literally. i'm talking, he'd be going on about his day, then suddenly, he's struck with the mental picture of not being yours, and you not being his. and he's brought down to his knees, head in his hands and everything.
it's to the point where he starts getting so possessive and jealous that he cannot fucking bear your friends. the concept of you taking a liking, platonic or not, to anyone but him makes him so nauseous that he's ready to throw up (that's not to say he hasn't already). and it's mutual. your friends fucking hate him, he's so mentally deranged and they can't figure out why you're with him.
oh and woe to you if any of them are men. he is in pure and utter agony. he will visibly sulk, pout and huff 24/7, he's unbearable. and when he's alone, he'll blankly stare at himself in the mirror, scream into his pillow, and cry himself to sleep.
the thought of you being with anyone but him - makes him physically incapable of breathing. it feels as if he's being suffocated. it makes him sick to his stomach and the thought of you loving anyone else makes him want to crawl up into a hole and die. he picks fights and argues with you because he just wants every ounce of your attention to be concentrated on him, needs your eyes to never stray off of him once, needs you to be all his at every waking moment. only his, his, his, his...can't you just give him that?!
and when he's finally able to see you, he practically combusts, he's fueled up by all the negative thinking :( he doesn't even stop to greet you, he just smashes his lips onto yours, and carries you to bed.
he fucks you in missionary, so he can look deep into your eyes, and show you just how much he loves you - tells you all about how he's willing to do whatever it takes for you to never, ever, leave his side. then he snarls harshly, going on about how he can't and won't let you go. and when he's close, he's practically shedding tears, begging you to never disappear on him. can't you see? he's an empty shell of a man without you, he cannot live without you. you tell him to pull out and he almost doesn't catch it due to the resounding obscene noises filling the room. almost. but he does. so he cages you in his arms, and plunges his dick so deep, and he starts babbling, all pathetic, about how your kids would have his eyes, and your nose.
he practically wails when he buries himself to the hilt one last time, shooting his cum deep inside your womb. and you're about to push him off of you when he starts moving again, helplessly and feebly mewling, "i can't stop", hes so demanding and hopeless. hes physically incapable of bringing his messy thrusts to a halt...god, what do you do with him?
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ghostfacd · 5 months
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SAVE THE GIRL
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!mentor!reader
summary: when you start to feel bad for the tributes, it’s when snow slowly starts to crack. when you snuck into the arena to properly send your goodbyes to one is when he loses it, making it his mission to get you out, even if it means costing his life
warnings: SPOILERS. descriptions of killing, Snow being a bad friend to Sejanus and manipulative, reader essentially replaces Sejanus in the movie’s original scene
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“We all know how this works right guys?” Lucky Flickerman says, his eyes held a sparkle within them. “As soon as your tribute dies, you’re out!”
The screen flickers on the arena, its dusty surroundings filled you with a sense of dread.
You had gotten Lamina, a girl who you were afraid would die as soon as the timer went off. But she managed to impress you, and completely won you over when she had speared the other tributes’ pain and suffering by killing them with an axe.
“Coryo,” you whisper to the blonde hair boy who was almost drifting into sleep. “Coryo.”
“Hm?” He fixes his posture, “is something wrong with Lucy Gray?”
You shake your head, and only pointed to the empty desks surrounding you. “Many died.”
“Your point?”
It almost seems as if Coriolanus was bored of your commentary, he probably was, you did wake him from his sleep.
“This doesn’t feel right Coryo. Not at all. Any of it.”
Coriolanus lets out a breath of annoyance. It was always like that with him, he seemed always to be one step ahead—or at least he presented himself in that way, and he seemed like he was annoyed with anyone who wasn’t on the same level as him.
You and Coriolanus went way back. You were the first few to have known of the death of his father, Coriolanus had told you about it with tears in his eyes. Not because he missed his father, not really, but because he was afraid that there would be nothing left of the Snow family by the time the war was over.
When you first entered the Academy, Snow linked himself with Clemensia Dovecote, a pretty black haired girl who he had gotten close with, and if anyone didn’t know better, they might’ve been more than just friends. But Coriolanus and Clemensia came off as acquaintances by association to you more than anything.
He stopped doing group projects with you so he could do it with her, and he had made himself friendly with Sejanus, a boy who was originally from the Districts but managed to buy his way into the Capitol. Or at least, that’s what all of your seething classmates said as they looked at him in disgust.
“You sound like Sejanus.” Is all Coriolanus says, glancing back at his small television screen.
“Sejanus is our friend, Coryo.”
“Sejanus is district.” Coriolanus slams his hand on your desk, making you flinch. “No matter how much money he has, no matter how much he tries to fit in, he will always be district. And you? You might as well be district with him if you keep acting like this.”
Your brows furrow, and you start to get angry. Who the fuck does Coriolanus Snow think he is?
“And I suppose you’re so well off Capitol yourself, Coriolanus?”
The way your words drip with such venom makes Snow almost crumble, but he doesn’t, instead, choosing to inch his face just a meter over yours. “Don’t say anymore things you don’t mean, Y/N.”
And that was the end of it. Coriolanus Snow wins every argument, and you hated him so much. Why couldn’t he see this was wrong? You knew he had a heart in there somewhere, which was why he was helping Lucy Gray Baird in the first place. Unless he was doing it all for the Plinth prize, for the money.
As you watch your tribute fall to her death, the loud crack adding all to your misery, you wanted to throw the television and desk across the room, just like Sejanus had previously. They were monsters, all of them.
“I’m sorry Y/N.” Coriolanus says, his eyes flickering up to meet yours.
But Coriolanus Snow can’t be sorry, he can’t feel empathy, he can’t feel pain, and most importantly, he can’t feel love.
As the games went on, Coriolanus was slumped into his chair, sleep overcoming his senses.
Dr. Gaul clears her throat, her loud but snake like movements made Coriolanus jolt awake, hissing as he accidentally hurt himself on the edges of the desk.
“I see you’re still here, Mr. Snow.”
“Is something wrong?” Coriolanus asks, eyebrows furrowing. “Is Lucy Gray okay?”
“Oh her? She’s fine.” Dr. Gaul waves the girl off like she meant nothing. “It’s your friend, I’m worried about.”
“My friend?” Coriolanus whips his head around to try and find you, but you were gone, leaving no trace.
“Yes.” Dr. Gaul motions to the wide television in front. “She’s in the arena right now. Doing this goodbye thing for her tribute.”
Coriolanus doesn’t want to believe Dr. Gaul, but how could he not when you’re shown so clearly in the cameras, putting flowers into the hand of your tribute. Almost as if you saw her as human.
“Now Miss. L/N hasn’t done anything like this in the past, so it does spark questions in my mind as to why she’s suddenly..” Dr. Gaul pauses. “Rebelling.” She says this as if it were poison on her tongue.
“From Sejanus, I would expect this. But from our own people, Coriolanus? Now this is absurd. I’ll make sure to get the name of the peacekeeper who let her in and have them executed.” Dr. Gaul gives him a smile, one that sends chills up Coriolanus’s back. “Now I happen to know you two are friends, close friends even; so I need you to go into the arena and fetch her out.”
“Me?” Coriolanus stutters out, hesitance clearly showing in his voice.
“Is that hesitance I hear, Mr. Snow?” Dr. Gaul steps even closer. “Everyone in the Capitol is asleep by now, which means they won’t see the foolishness Miss. Y/N is currently causing. You will go into the arena and take her out before she does anything more stupid. I will not let these rebels make mockery of my game, Mr. Snow. I will simply not allow it.”
And Coriolanus knows he has no choice but to obey Dr. Gaul’s orders.
He makes his way quietly into the arena, making sure his footsteps weren’t creating such loud noises to alert the tributes.
“Y/N,” he whispers as he gets close to your kneeling figure. He watches as you slowly put your hand over Lamina’s eyes, closing them for her. “Y/N.”
“You shouldn’t be here,” you reply, not bothering to turn around to face the boy.
“But I am.” He grunts out in annoyance. “I’m here to save your ass because that’s what friends do, Y/N. So help me, and get up.”
You don’t listen to him, choosing to keep kneeling and watching your dead tribute instead. She looked peaceful, and you felt so guilty knowing there was nothing you could do to save her.
“Y/N, I mean it.” Coriolanus says in a more assertive tone. “You’re going to die out here. These tributes? They might as well be animals now, they’re gonna kill the both of us if we don’t get out.”
He grunts in annoyance when he doesn’t see you move, so he carefully walks over, placing his arm under yours, practically dragging your body up from your kneeling position.
“Cmon Y/N, you’ve got to help me.” Coriolanus whispers out. “You don’t want to die here, trust me.”
“HEY! YOU!” The two of you whip your head so quickly at the voice that it sends a dizziness into your head. “HEY!”
The remaining tributes, none of them were Lucy Gray, Wovey, or the boy from 11 with speed so quick that it took the breath in your lungs away.
“CMON!” Coriolanus grabs your hand, the both of you fiercely running towards the doors.
One of the tributes with one of his eyes shut had a sharp blade in his hand, successfully slicing into Coriolanus’s back and your arm. The two of you let out a moan of pain, the frenzy feeling of adrenaline overwhelming the both of you.
Coriolanus lets your hand go for a second, pushing the tribute back harshly, managing to make him drop his weapon. Coriolanus picks up one of the broken poles, repeatedly hitting the male tribute with it until his body stopped moving completely.
You thought he’d be done with it, but he lets out a scream of anger, plunging the pole into the tribute’s body, making you shriek out in horror.
“You’re okay, you’re okay!” Coriolanus breathes out to you, practically limping hand in hand with you as he sees the other tributes catching up from the distance. “Open the door!”
The peacekeepers opened the door, closing it right as one of the more fiercer tribute sticks her trident out. “You’re lucky you’ve escaped this time.” She growls out.
You fall onto the ground as soon as Coriolanus lets go of your hand.
“Hey,” he croaks out, kneeling to cup your face into his hands. “Hey, you’re okay, you’re okay.”
He sounds so reassuring, so kind, and not like the Coriolanus you had despised from earlier.
“I..” you can’t even get a word out before you’re full on sobbing, not caring if you were embarrassing yourself in front of Coriolanus and the two peacekeepers.
“Shh, it’s okay.” He places his hand on the back of your head, bringing you into his chest. “Everything’s gonna be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”
“No one will ever hurt you, Y/N.”
And if there’s one thing Coriolanus Snow is good at—it’s ensuring he gets what he wants.
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