#but whatever kind she uses every other kind makes me feel unwell

[martianbugsbunny]

Onions make me sick nine times out of ten and sometimes I want to cry about that bc everybody always says that onion rings are one of the foods ever and sure I could eat them, I wouldn't die or anything, and I have eaten them in the past, but I wouldn't feel well later and I'm really trying to set that boundary where if it makes me feel bad I won't eat it even if it does taste good but I'm envious of people who can go to restaurants and not have to worry about are there onions in this? how are they cooked? what kind of onions are they? will this be one of the nine times? should I risk it? especially if it's like a special food like a good chili restaurant that involves onions bc I hate feeling like I've missed out just cuz my stupid digestive system does not get on with onions

#if it's in a sauce like my mom makes like bolognese it's usually fine #but she uses...I don't remember I want to say white onion? #but whatever kind she uses every other kind makes me feel unwell #and I swear there's something about the way they're cooked that also makes a difference #anyway I went to ben's chili bowl with my family during our trip to DC and felt lousy the next day #and then I decided that I wasn't going to eat onions at restaurants anymore even if I have to be annoying about it #idk man I just kinda felt like lamenting a lil bit tonight #onions #food #food sensitivity #I guess #I haven't had it diagnosed but like I'm not stupid if I eat onions and almost every time feel sick that means onions are a problem #martianbugsbunny grumbles

[colourstreakgryffin]

Yandere! Romantic! KNY Kocho Shinobu Headcanons

(Aaaaah! This one is gonna be scary! Hope all of my little glass angels like this one too!)

Shinobu as a romantic Yandere has the Yandere traits of; Manipulative, Possessive, Delusional, Overprotective, Deceptive, Violent/Murderous, Insensitive and Psychotic

- Shinobu will never admit it but she’s fallen hard. Off her pretty purple and aquamarine wings, she has fallen for you. The newest addition and the completion of the incomplete nine, the Ice Hashira. Shinobu never thought she’d have anybody to love, she thought she’d either die to a demon or live the rest of her life alone

- She developed a cute harmless crush on you at first, she clung to you and did all kinds of little but nice nicknacks. Made your bento for you, tied up your hair, held your hand to show you around. You thought Shinobu was just being friendly as you didn’t notice the way she looked at you. Completely lovestruck

- She doesn’t want to be alone anymore, once she knows her truth. She wants you, and she will do whatever is needed to have you as her own

- Shinobu could be considered one of the hardest Hashira to turn Yandere as she is actually quite closed-off then as she seems in public but personally, I believe that once she is deeply in love and then sees her love interest with other people, her overwhelming jealous anger would begin shaping her Yandere self. One jigsaw piece at a time

- Why do you like him/her? What does he/she have that Shinobu doesn’t?! Height? Strength? You nor Shinobu need those! Shinobu has brains! And that should be enough. She is loyal and will remember everything you tell her, devotion is more attractive, isn’t that obvious?!

- I’m sorry to all Shinobu fans but Shinobu is definitely a very abusive Yandere to her love interest. She doesn’t like hurting you, she wants to love you more than anything but you always constantly misbehave and stir up trouble, she must punish you and those punishments usually leave you torn-up emotionally, starved, freezing and bandaged with a broken limb or two chained to the futon besides her futon as she puts you to sleep by force with a sleep-inducing poison from her katana

- For real, all of her smiles are genuine around you. Her happiness is genuine too, you make her feel less alone and that she can be her real self with you. She is attached to you because you’ve changed her, gave her a reason to smile that she actually agrees with for once

- And she won’t lose you to somebody like Kyojuro or Mitsuri. Starting now, Shinobu’s obsession and plan comes into clear view. You’ll be her lovely little girlfriend, Shinobu knows of it and is excited for her fantasy to come to life

- Shinobu’s a stalker, like Kyojuro. She follows you everywhere you go in secret; to the fleek market, to your estate, to your unwell mother’s household. She knows every single detail of your travel schedule and waits eagerly behind trees or buildings to catch you. She watches from the sideline with her bug-like eyes forming into love hearts at the sight of you in such a gorgeous kimono

- She can’t stop thinking about you but she loves it. In battle or whilst taking care of the Kamaboko Squad, you litter her mind that she sometimes randomly blurbs out your name. You plague her thoughts, her fantasies so much that Zenitsu swears he can hear Shinobu’s thoughts in detail fall out of her ears

- Shinobu, also just like Kyojuro, is a very split-faced Yandere, and swaps between her Yandere self and her ordinary self. She, as mentioned in the Kyojuro post, is very good at hiding her Yandere behaviours as she regularly hides all of her emotions so it’s like second nature and uses it as a means to manipulate. Manipulate your emotions

- “That’s… quite harsh, Myōji. Don’t you think? Why would I kill somebody? That’s a heavy accusation. It… almost seems like you don’t like me as a friend… that hurts. Oh, you’re sorry? Apologise to my grave because clearly, you want me dead”

- Shinobu wholeheartedly views herself as your destined true love, and that you’re being brainwashed by everybody around you into dismissing that you’re just as in love with her. Delusion at its finest, she doesn’t even notice how afraid of her you really are, how her fantasies aren’t true in a single bit

- Oh! And she’ll make you your own Butterfly Hairpin and force you to wear it 24/7 as a symbol of her ownership of you. All will back off if her mark is dug deep into your figure, that single cute butterfly-styled hairpin of your favourite colours

- Every injured Hashira goes to the Butterfly Estate for treatment, right? But it’s different for you. Whenever you’re injured, you’re end up staying there longer as Shinobu mixes your medicine with sickness-inducing poison to keep you unwell for longer. As cruel as it is, Shinobu has no ill intentions. She merely wants your love and by making you sick, she has a better chance to refine her relationship with you

- “Oh my, Myōji-chan. Your temperature is quite high and you’ve been coughing so much, you’re losing your voice. Hmm, it seems that the symptoms point to a case of the cold. Sadly, a strong one too. But, please, do not worry. I will take wonderful care of you! We do need our Ice Hashira as soon as possible, and I’ll make sure you are in perfect health”

- Shinobu lies to you all the time, especially when you start to pick up on that she may be harming you on purpose to keep you against your will at the Butterfly Estate. What? Don’t be ridiculous! She’s a doctor, why would she make a problem, she solves them!

- Her tactics of making you sick is her form of kidnapping. She won’t actually kidnap you at all since her Estate is way too occupied that it’s quite possible her girls will find you. So, she’ll just keep making you unwell so she can treat you and just HOPE you get injured again so she can repeat the process

- Shinobu is VERY-EXTREMELY likely to kill potential love interests, sharing this Yandere trait with Sanemi and Obanai, but does not care at all if you know. She is very clever in her methods that keeps her hands clean of blood and everybody else except you in firm belief that she had nothing to do with the ‘accident’; she befriends the person, poisons their food/drink, brings them to her estate to “treat them” then kill them in the most brutal fashions before disposing every inch of the body with her impeccable range of poisons

- Shinobu is the most manipulative Yandere Hashira out of the whole nine. She manipulated everybody around her all the time from the beginning of Kanae’s death and it just became a habit to trick the human mind with her silver tongue and a fake but convincing smile. You can’t blame her for the deaths of your potential love interests, she’ll twist your words and viewpoint till you’re apologising for “misaccusing” her

- Tag-teaming with her Manipulation, Shinobu is deceptive! She misleads everybody, including you into believing she couldn’t hurt a fly. Sure, she kills demons but she doesn’t like it! Don’t you believe her? She is so harmless, she just wants to love the world!

- Such talk makes Shinobu feel sick. Her? Like demons? Please, she wishes the most horrible deaths on every single demon in this world, including that Nezuko. And no human is safe either, anybody that wants your love is a demon and must be executed

- Shinobu is violent. Horrifyingly violent towards everybody else but slightly violent towards you. She’ll break a bone or maybe another on you in which she sees as inevitable whilst she’ll badly mulitate her enemies, no matter if they may be human or demon. You know of this as she brings evidence of her work to gloat and there is no way you’ll ever see Shinobu again without intense fear

- Her forced but sugary sweet smile clashing with her lifeless purple eyes makes your spine buckle in pure terror as she tilts your chin up with the sharp tip of her stinger katana. What does she do with you? At the end, she’ll hurt you then she’ll heal and love you

- Yandere Shinobu is also insensitive and psychotic, this being when you get more insight of her Yandere side. She is insensitive to your problems with her behaviour. What’s the matter? Who cares if a few people you liked died, you’re mother is dying, it happens to everybody. She is, as well, psychotic. Her head is cracking and chipping like glass, she is losing her sanity over you and her eyes are playing tricks on her too

- Wait a second, since when did you get in the bathtub with her? Whoa, you’re getting in her lap?! N-no way, you’re about to kiss her! BAM. Shinobu snaps back to reality and sighs in pain. She doesn’t care that she is suffering hallucinations, she cares that what she saw didn’t actually happen. She would have gladly killed the Master for a fun time in the bathtub with you

- Now, who do you belong to? Yes, Shinobu! And she will drill that into your head. Meaning, you’re not seeing anybody else ever again, family or friends. You’re hers, her little Rosy Maple. Why do you need other people when all the love, all the luxury and all the attention one could want in over twenty lifetimes exists in the Butterfly Estate, the home of the Insect Hashira. The one and only, who is willing to destroy, kill and die for you

- Hashira and lower-ranks alike may call Shinobu the Butterfly but you’re the real Butterfly in this situation’s deadly pinchers. You’re the helpless prey to Shinobu’s powerful predator. She has you trapped in her cocoon and she’ll paint it red with blood as much as she needs to keep you trapped

- “Here, my precious Rosy Maple. Try this kimono on! Why, yes. It matches mine, I got it specially ordered for you so go on, be quick and don’t be annoying by messing around. Just put it on and show it to me. Very easy, I know you can manage that”

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #anime and manga #kocho shinobu #shinobu kocho #yandere #yandere romance #Yandere shinobu kocho #kny hashira #insect hashira #yandere imagines #kny imagines #headcanons

[thewritingofspencerrose]

Freefall Masterlist

In Pain and In Health

"Mon cheri, you were supposed to be in the paddock half an hour ago, are you okay?"

"Charles, you know I wish I could be there, but I don't think I can get out of bed," I admit, voice hoarse from tears.

"Pourquoi?" He asks, worry evident in every part of the question. "What's wrong?"

Do I want to admit to my fake boyfriend/ real boyfriend/ whatever the hell Charles is to me that I'm in this pain because of my menstrual cycle? I don't have much of a choice, I feel awful for not being there for this, especially since it's Carlos' home race.

"I- I have this condition," I begin, trying to find the right words as I shift in the bed of our hotel room, moving the heating pad lower. "I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, which sounds a lot more severe than it is, I promise," I assure, hearing his breath hitch. "But it causes me to have extremely painful cycles, and I can't really move from our bed at the moment, let alone get done up well enough to -"

"Mon cheri, do not worry about coming to the race. If I could come back to you now I would."

"No, no you need to focus on the race. I'm going to turn it on as soon as coverage starts, I promise."

"What can I get you on my way back, Chérie?" Is the next thing out of his mouth, and I want to hate him for being so kind.

"Just some snacks, please," I request, "And some hugs."

"Will do. I have to go, but I'll call after the race, d'accord?"

"Okay, bonne chance ma chère," I wish, using the phrase I had Pierre teach me when we first got the chance to spend time together, minus Charles.

"Dieu je t'adore."

"What?"

"Just saying goodbye," is his response. "Au revoir."

And she hung up, a goodbye leaving her lips before, although even with Lynnleigh not on the other side of the line, his eyes remain on the screen.

"Charles, ¡Qué te pasa, es el día de la carrera compañero! (Charles, what's up, it's race day mate.)" Carlos greets, taking the seat in the garage beside him. "Seriously, what's going on?"

"Have you seen my brother?" Is the response that the Spaniard is given.

"Arthur or Lorenzo?"

"Arthur, I need to ask him a favor," Charles explains while standing, Carlos doing the same.

"Compañero (Buddy), you're concerning me."

"Lynn isn't feeling well," He explains, shooting a text to his younger brother, telling him to come to the Ferrari garage. "I was hoping to send Arthur over with some things from the shops to help until I can be there."

"You really like this woman, don't you?" His teammate asks, a teasing smile on his lips. Phone dinging, Charles is saved from a mocking as Carlos glances at his own phone. "And you know, I'm a fan as well," He states, glancing back to the driver beside him. "She just texted me, and I quote, 'I don't know if you've talked to Charlie, but I'm really unwell right now and won't be able to make it to the paddock today frowning face. But I wanted to reach out and wish you luck with your home race! May you drive fast and safe!'"

At the text, Charles can't help but smile.

It all began as a show for the world, but now, even when she's not around, she has taken over his every thought.

"Fratello! (Brother!)" Arthur's voice, so similar to Charles'. "Cosa c'è che non va?" (What's wrong?)

"Lynn is ill," Charles begins, "Would you be willing to take my card from my drivers room and go to the shops? I can send you her favorites. I just don't want her alone."

And Arthur smiles, wide and knowingly. "She's going to be my cognata (sister in law) one day, of course I'll go keep an eye on her."

"Grazie Fratello." Thank you brother.

"Mon coeu?" Charles calls, finally finishing his day of racing enough to be able to make it to the hotel.

"Soyez silencieux, Charles, she's sleeping," Arthur's voice calls quietly, leading the elder Leclerc into the small living room of the suite, finding his brother sat on the couch, a sleeping Lynnleigh with her head and a pillow on his lap. "Elle voulait vraiment rester debout pour la course, mais les analgésiques que j'ai apportés l'ont rendue somnolente." she really wanted to stay up for the race, but the pain medications i brought made her drowsy

"Depuis combien de temps dort-elle?" How long has she been asleep?

"Depuis le tour 26," Since lap 26.

"I hear French," Lynn drowsily smiles, shifting into a smiling position.

"That would be us," Charles notifies, bringing my attention to his face, smiling softly at me as he takes a seat beside Arthur and I, hair still wet from showering post-race.

"How're you? How'd the race go?" I ask, moving my head to lean on his shoulder and pressing the button on the heating pad, turning it back up.

"P11, but we will surge forward. My head was not with it today," He admits, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer.

There's no cameras. There's only us and Arthur, who would probably prefer we weren't acting so couple-y.

Yet we are.

Why? And why am I enjoying it.

"I'm sorry I was a distraction," I mumble, ducking farther into him as a shot of particularly bad pain shoots through my body.

"You weren't a distraction," He attempts to assure. "I knew you were in good hands," He adds, the last part directed to Arthur, who has taken to flipping through channels on the tv, clearly with no plan to leave. Not that I mind.

"I am a fantastic nurse, thank you very much," Is his response, throwing his brother a cheeky smile. "She's still alive, isn't she?"

"He was very good to me while you were racing," I add, Charles smiling down at me. "I'm sure you were the one who told him my favorite snacks? How did you even know what they were?"

"I just payed attention during movie night," He shrugs, making my heart beat double time.

"Charles-"

"Ew, no, enough ooey gooey, we're going to watch tv and not try to gross out the younger brother."

#original character #the writing of spencer rose #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x oc #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1

[dykehoratio]

hiiii, i hope it's okay that i throw some thoughts at you, feel free to ignore this if it doesn't spark joy! ♡

richie has been such a pleasure in season 2, and the entire finale?! 😭 i am still unwell. richie burying michael— i can't, the carmy-richie dynamic makes me sick (affectionately), they make me cry (literally). their fight was so intense. richie repeating "yeah, i'm obsessed with you" and "i fucking love you" to carmy over and over. how carmy, who they call "bear", was literally in a type of "cage" (the fridge) in the finale, being very aggressive, just how they said bears were in episode 6 (but bears are also kind and empathetic and—), how he wanted to be let out but instead the others let his rage become background noise so they can focus on their work instead. how carmy was catastrophizing in the fridge (remembering chaotic scenes from season 1), and how that was contrasted by richie, syd, and the others handling things well outside of the fridge.

how syd was overwhelmed with the tickets so she handed the reigns over to richie, and he handled the job with confidence, helping to make things run better. how syd and richie managed to work together in season 2 after the stabbing fiasco in season 1. how richie gave fak the confidence to work in the front in such a gentle way. how gary gave uncle jimmy the chocolate-covered banana because richie insisted on giving him this surprise, and uncle jimmy looked so incredibly emotional in that moment and wanted richie to be thanked sincerely. how donna actually appeared on the opening night but did not go inside. how peter found out that nat hasn't told donna that she's pregnant. how carmy got incredibly mad about the fishes getting cold, and how it was exactly seven fishes again (paralleling the seven fishes christmas tradition in episode 6). how luca had sent marcus the "every second counts" plate, and how marcus ended up missing various calls from his mom's nurse because of the work he was so dedicated to, possibly missing the last chance ever to spend a few precious seconds with his own mom.

how the first 12 minutes of 2x10 was filmed as one long take, and the camera kept focusing on and following different characters through the restaurant, making things feel smooth. the long take continuing until the moment where carmy gets locked in the fridge and syd tells everybody to hold their work for a second so that she can think, and then the scene cutting from syd's face to the ticketing machine for the very first time, back to syd, back to the ticketing machine going crazy (showing syd panicking, feeling overwhelmed), and then continuously cutting through the rest of the episode, making everything feel extra hectic and fast 😭

i am on the FLOOR about all these things, i CAN'T 😭😭

hiii friend i literally love ALL of this!!! loved reading this fr love that other people love the show as much as i do! my thoughts r gonna be equally as messy here lmfaoooo bear w me (🐻)

this season did so well in further characterizing everyone. like that flashback episode told us so much about carmy and richie and mikey and nat. all the characters sent away on their own little journeys was so lovely— marcus! tina! syd!

this season is literally like… all the characters getting better and becoming better (professionally) while still having all this personal shit to deal w underneath. very curious to see where they take marcus/his mom, syd/her dad, the berzattos/donna, RICHIEE....

richie is my fave character fr i looooove him. he’s also jus so so funny (like in s1 telling syd not to be hysterical behind the wheel or whatever.) richie and carmy's relationship is so so interesting. 2x10 fight alone- which i've already talked about- but also like.... something about how carmy and richie’s grief and how their initial relationship to each other is defined through their connection to michael?!? like how carmy rly sees richie as michael’s best friend, and richie will always see carmy as michael’s little brother…. etc.... richie and carmy's dynamic drives me INSANE. also just.....surgerates fucko!!!!

the first part of 2x10 being one shot was SO GOOD literally just how all of 1x07 was one shot!! ALSO the ticketing machine spitting out anxiety notes like in s1 when carmy was freaking out and seeing “you’re a piece of shit // you killed him” etc etc lmaoooo the trauma of the kitchen environment✨ carmy and syd are such narrative FOILS let's go

unpopular opinion here too but i loooove claire hope she comes back <3333

and yes (@everyone) feel free to message me whenever!! promise i'm friendly

#the bear #the bear spoilers #the bear fx #the bear hulu #the bear season 2 #the bear s2 #ask #seik-o #userseiko

[laikuh]

@spoopy-action-at-distance

If you have time, can you give a short run-down on why this show is a good watch and why a SPN John Winchester fan might like it? The gifs are making me curious!

hey! sorry it’s taken me a few days to get to this! i would be happy to give a short run-down of prodigal son.

basic premise: malcolm bright, born malcolm whitly, is the son of martin whitly, an infamous new york serial killer known as “the surgeon.” malcolm was close to martin as a child, and even after martin was incarcerated at an asylum, he remained close. both men further bonded over murder and what makes the mind of a serial killer tick as malcolm grew, but eventually malcolm cut off martin to study profiling and join the fbi as a profiler. when the show starts, he’s been fired from the fbi and is now consulting for the nypd under the leadership of the cop who helped him as a kid and that cop’s detective team.

the bad: this show is a knock-off nbc hannibal. malcolm has will graham’s same empathy gift, though it’s packaged differently, he’s just as mentally unwell (if not worse), and his push and pull dynamic with martin is very very similar to will’s push and pull with hannibal in season 3.

it is also a procedural. and i mean, like, really a procedural. like criminal minds level, not like hannibal having to pretend at being a procedural to tell an actual story, just a straight up procedural (don’t take a shot everytime i type the word “procedural”). this means it’s...i mean it feels like criminal minds. and i don’t mean that super negatively generally speaking. i love criminal minds tbh! i have seen most seasons of cm like 4 times, i just never talk about it here bc it would ruin whatever weird artsy incest vibe i’ve managed to acquire on this blog. but i just mean if you think you’re going to get a show as delicate as hannibal with prodigal son, you aren’t. it’s going to be more akin to criminal minds.

it is also very stupid and dramatic. like. shit happens that will make you roll your eyes. it’s ridiculous. it’s over the top. it’s silly.

the good: the acting and the cast is wonderful. the dude who plays malcolm is so good. i mean, so fucking good. and michael sheen needs no words. it’s michael fucking sheen. he’s taking his volturi camp and making it somehow worse, by which i mean better, and he’s just so fun to watch. lou diamond phillips is great as gil. i love both the actors who play dani and jt. bellamy young took me some time as jessica whitly, malcolm’s mother, but she’s grown on me a lot if you assume she is also playing camp instead of serious. and the actress who plays ainsley is...fine. lol. also down the line we also get recurring roles from dermot mulroney, catharine zeta-jones, and alan cumming.

also i mentioned above that it is stupid. but actually i love that it is stupid. i love that it is stupid so much. i think it’s so fun! i love rolling my eyes fondly and thinking, “god, this show is dumb.” it’s campy! it’s having a grand time! i love it for its wildness and think that’s what makes it so enjoyable. let shows be dumb! it’s good for us as a society, i think.

but really, the best selling point for this show is the martin-malcolm dynamic. it’s so juicy. it’s so gross. it’s so tragic. they play off each other beautifully, and tom payne as malcolm really does a perfect job of getting us a crystal clear image of how damaged malcolm is by his experience with his father. how fucked up his love for martin has made him. he’s gone on his dad, his dad is gone on him, and it’s so unhealthy and awful. but it’s also really interesting. i eat up every scene together, and i love how unpleasant it is. malcolm is a very whumpy character, very dean winchester, very will graham. he’s so sad, he has so many daddy issues, he is so broken. we love to see it.

as for your specific question i’ve kind of been avoiding, i don’t really have a reason why a john winchester fan would like prodigal son, as john and martin are not overly similar beyond the damage they’ve caused their oldest children. and even then, john at least was a good person trying to do some good. martin whitley is genuinely a serial killer who is deeply psychotically unhinged. he is trying to do only harm, even to malcolm, even if he thinks otherwise.

tldr: prodigal son is fun and emotional if lacking in originality and realism. it’s a procedural, which means it’s repetitive, and its flair for the dramatics may not be a good fit for some. but if you love characters that are filled to the brim with daddy issues, are super traumatized, and also might be a little in love with their fathers, i think it’s a great pick to watch.

#mine #prod son

[sirthisisa-wendys]

The Emperor Part 2: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

synopsis: a blight strikes the Imperial Palace, and you're caught in the middle of it all.

wc: 1.7k

tw: straight fluff

masterlist

Soft whispers of the fever spreading through the country reach your door in almost record timing.

And while Toji does not address it directly, you know his intentions as you lay in his arms, listening to him divulge the most recent reports.

"I'm a little worried," he admits, and you stroke his arm carefully, looking up at his pensive face.

"You will do what you know is best," you reply and touch his cheek. "You're the emperor, appointed by the gods and their heavenly mandate. All you need to do is listen to their wisdom." Toji takes your hand and kisses your wrist, his green eyes closing.

"I am always astounded by the comforting words you share, my little nightingale." You smile, curling the same hand around his shoulder before sighing, and drifting off to sleep with his warm body nestling yours.

But the fever does not pass by your house.

The first concubine to get it showed no symptoms, and it spread like wildfire throughout the halls of the palace, even daring to touch the advisor to the emperor before Toji began to send each concubine back to her own hometown for safety.

Your safety.

You watch as the palace dissolves into a ghost town, the sounds of women and Princess Tsumiki vanishing almost overnight. And Toji becomes the only visitor to your chambers, even when he is not desiring to sleep with you. He confesses his worries, curls into your frame, and even bemoans his predicament before falling asleep in your arms. Most nights, Toji just lays with you in the bed, speculating about how long it would be until the blight would end. And you offer your best words to ease his troubled soul, but soon, it's apparent they are not enough.

Then, one night, you awaken with chills and a cold sweat running down your spine. You thank the gods that this was a night when Toji did not come to lay with you, citing strategy meetings with the country's best doctors as his reason. And when you cough loud enough to call the attention of a maid outside of your door, you know that you might be seriously ill.

"Do not tell the Emperor," you beg the doctor, who looks down at you with pity. "Just tell him I am menstruating." But the lie only keeps Toji at bay for an hour or two, at most.

When the door slides open in the morning and Toji walks in, you see two of him in your sickly haze. But you know there is only one Toji Fushiguro and that he was not pleased to see you in your bed, sheets pulled around your weak frame.

"Please," you croak, waving your hand. "Don't come any closer, Your Holiness."

"Toji," he corrects you, kneeling by your bed and taking your hand. "And you cannot command me to do anything."

"I am unwell," you whisper. "Let me recover before you return. I do not want you to get ill. Our country needs you."

"But I need you," Toji rebuffs. "I'm staying right here until you get better. If I catch the fever, then we will be sick together." You do not have the strength to argue, so a chair and a table are brought for Toji to work and stay by your side through the day and night. As you fade in and out of your sickness, you see him hard at work, glancing over at you every so often, hear him arguing with the doctors outside of the door, and feel him gripping your hand in his as he kneels at your beside, praying to the gods feverishly when there is no one else around.

You can barely eat, at one point only drinking water, and you sleep most of the day away that you don't even recall which day it is when you do awaken. And Toji remains by your side, even as you catch signs of the fever letting up; the sounds of life return to the palace as you slowly recover.

It is a crisp, autumn evening when you finally have the strength to be wheeled into the garden, a large blanket covering your legs as Toji pushes you around and comments about the flowers that are blooming. You're touching a chrysanthemum when Toji sighs, looking out at the massive space.

"I'm not calling the others back." Your eyes slide to the Emperor, who crosses his arms and nods his head as if this was the moment for him to make up his mind. "I'll pay for them to have all of the comforts they had here... but I will not ask them to return."

"Are you sure, Your Holiness?"

Toji clenches his jaw, biting the side of his lip that's scarred.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"But I have not given you a s--"

"I don't care." The discussion is ended at that moment, for you know the Emperor is not one to be persuaded when he has made up his mind. You watch as the letters go out, along with the monthly payments, and Toji watches you regain your strength, his conviction about his decision growing every day.

_____________________________________________________________

Illness strikes you again as soon as you feel like things are normal. As you lay in the royal chambers with cool towels on your forehead, you wonder if this is a punishment from the gods.

Nausea plagues you, and even though you desire to eat anything and everything, you throw it up as soon as it's been digested.

And Toji? Toji is frustrated.

"I will not permit visitors to the palace. I will not allow you to step one foot out of these doors. You will be fed by my hand, and no one will be permitted to handle you except me." You listen to him growl at you while you chew on ginger root, your blank stare focused on his face. "Do you hear me, y/n?"

"Yes, your Holiness," you reply, but something in you tells you that this isn't the kind of sickness he thinks it is. Your suspicion is confirmed when your cheeks get redder and rounder and you gain a little weight, the small bulge beneath your clothing showing slightly. Even the doctors stare at Toji with blank and idle eyes, wondering when he would catch on to the fact that you were growing.

Toji stands at the window one night, fiddling with his robes when you approach him from behind and hold him close.

"I love you," you whisper, and he looks over his shoulder at you, lips quirking up in a smile.

"You want something, don't you? You only use that tone when you're about to ask me a question," he laughs. "Whatever it is, you can have it."

"I already have everything I want," you reply, kissing his back. "Besides, you've been so busy being the Emperor that you haven't noticed the changes in your own home."

"Hm? Do you mean the new trees? I had them planted for their blossoms but it seems--"

"Your home, Toji."

"This is my home," he murmurs, turning around to face you, eyebrow raised. "Is there something you need to tell me?" When you grab his hand and place it on your belly, Toji stares at you, then frowns. "Um..."

"Feel," you encourage him again, holding his hand captive.

"Little nightingale, I am not sure why you have me feeling your--" Toji stops, his green eyes looking off into the corner of the room as his fingers roam back and forth across your stomach. He blinks twice, pulls his hand back, then quickly grabs the hem of your nightgown and ducks underneath.

"TojI!" you exclaim, but you feel his hands touching and exploring, and hear him talking to himself excitedly.

"How long?" Toji wonders underneath your dress, movements stilling.

"Um..."

"How long?" he repeats eagerly and you laugh, placing your hand on his head.

"I think it's only been two months." Toji reemerges from under your gown and clasps your shoulders.

"Your feet, are they always cold?" You search Toji's face before whispering,

"Yes...?" The light in his eyes is impossible to dim. His face brightens considerably, and then he begins to pace around the room.

"Right, cold feet..." He begins to tick his fingers off one by one, muttering to himself again.

"My love, is everything alright?" you wonder, lacing your fingers together as he runs his hands through his dark hair and turns back to you.

"I've just been told you're with child. I'm among the happiest men in the world, sweet one." His fingers touch your face tenderly, and you lean into his palm, smiling. "But you must get your rest. We will talk about it with the priests in the morning."

"Priests?" you wonder as he shuffles you toward the bed. "What do they have to do with--"

"And think of names for our son," he urges you, pulling the sheets around your frame. "I will plan the celebration as soon as I hear from the gods."

_____________________________________________________________

"What if we named him... Kosuke?" You wonder, playing with Toji's hair in the morning light. Toji sticks his tongue out and makes a 'yuck' noise, and you purse your lips.

"How about Sachihiro?"

"That's a mouthful," you reply, and he rolls his eyes, exhaling deeply. "Maybe Tatsuo?"

"Dragon?" Toji laughs, looking over at you. "You want me to name him after my rivals in the East?"

"Don't talk about Emperor Geto like that," you mutter, swatting his arm. "He's been so kind."

"He's been so nosy," Toji retorts, just as Princess Tsumiki comes running into the room, followed by her attendant, who appears to be extremely apologetic as she tries to scoop her up. "No, no," Toji mumbles. "Leave her be."

"Let's ask the Princess what she thinks," you suggest, and Toji nods, standing from his seated position on the floor.

"Tsumiki, what would you like to name your little brother?" he asks, pulling her up into his arms.

"Mango," she replies, sticking her fingers in her mouth. Toji looks over at you, unamused.

"Sure, we'll name him mango," you offer, smiling at the girl who leans over to touch your face lovingly. "It's your favorite fruit, after all." Toji tilts his head, then inhales sharply, eyes widening.

"Megumi," he breathes, and you raise your brows sharply.

"Blessings," you whisper, and he nods, eyes locking with yours as his smile widens. "Megumi..." You try the name out on your tongue, finding it fits quite nicely.

"Megumi."

#toji fushiguro x reader #toji fluff #jujutsu kaisen toji #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #toji fushiguro

[lacunafiction]

Hi Aelsa, I hope you're doing well 💐 As you know, I've been kind of unwell lately (fortunately on the recovery now though!), and it inspired me to ask a question. I'm not sure if it has been answered before, but how would the ROs react to the MC being sick, while in a relationship? 🥺🥺👉👈 If it is alright, I also wanted to ask - what pronouns do you use? 🥺🥺👉👈

Hi Aaron (@deifillun) and Anon,

I'm so sorry that you both are feeling unwell. 💐

I've seen a lot of mutuals/followers being under the weather as of late, so I hope you all try to rest and be gentle with yourselves, if you can. I know that is easier said than done with irl responsibilities. 💚

Let's see how the ROs would (try to) help a sick MC...

Beckett/Becca

B naturally worries, but now that you're sick that is amplified. "Do you need another pillow?" "No..." "Is it too hot for you? Too cold?" "I'm fine." "Do you want these curtains opened?" "No, B." It will become a game of twenty questions since they want to ensure you are comfortable and healing. They will likely try and bake or cook your favorites to see if that will cheer you up, but would be thinking of you the whole time while making it and likely leave the kitchen to check on you.

Silas/Sofia

S handles this pretty well, modulating their worry about you being sick by performing actions that should hopefully make you feel better. They do not hover as much as the other ROs, but are always within reach and become a consistent presence in the room. S will likely have a cup of tea ready for you before you can ask or will layer another blanket on you before you realize you're chilled. Observing and anticipating your needs is how they try to show their care for you.

Reese/Ruby

...Oh, they try their best, but R isn't used to caring for others in a caretaker capacity. They sit with you and ask if you need something every 5 minutes, holding your hand, while internally freaking out about how they may possibly be making things worse. Yes, they have been sick before, but Ms. Verner was not often around or would direct them to someone else to get medicine/treatment. S will likely be called for advice and once R has that advice, they follow it with laser precision getting you tea/a hot beverage, rotating a cold compress, running you a nice bath, etc. They will be there with you through it all.

James/Jane

J is displeased, not with you, but with whatever made you sick even if they know that is illogical. A slight frown and that little crinkle between their eyebrows alludes to their concern and they tend to look over at you every so often as if checking-in with you. (If you're running a fever, they will check you by hand, wanting a second opinion alongside the thermometer's read out. If your breathing is a little labored, they will rest a hand on your back and count your breathes. etc.). J will act as a buffer and deter others from bothering you with Fernweh drama or anything that would take away from you resting, which also means that they will call in sick to the station, which is very rare. They may call their mother to ask for some home remedies.

Again, I hope y'all feel better! I'll be thinking of you. 🥰

(P.S. No worries about asking Aaron! I use she/her pronouns.)

#interactive fiction #fernweh saga #asks #RO reactions #who do queue think you are? #deifillun #james corvin #jane corvin #silas dorran #sofia dorran #reese verner #ruby verner #becca warrick #beckett warrick

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT  Vol.5 Sakamaki Kanato [TRACK 2]

Original title: すれ違う心

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 5 Sakamaki Kanato

Audio: Here (Huge thank you to @filthyhelplessworld​ for providing the audio!)

Seiyuu: Kaji Yuki

Translator’s note: The MC’s health is obviously getting worse and I really fear for her with a boyfriend whose best solution is to completely disregard her concerns and lock her up in the underground dungeon. I’m still betting that all of this karma will come and bite Kanato in the ass though. I’m just waiting for the angsty stuff to kick in because he needs a taste of reality.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 2: Hearts Growing Apart

You are in the kitchen making sweets.

*Thud*

*Ping ping*

Kanato enters the kitchen.

“Hm...I have no complaints about the scent. Is this the sponge for the cake?”

You nod.

“Your hands have stopped moving. Please continue.”

You continue beating the egg whites in a bowl.

[00:24] “Fufu...Cut the cookies into bear shapes, okay? I want two kinds, both chewy and crispy. I grow tired if there’s no variety in the texture after all. ...Ah, I’d like my pudding on the firmer side with bittersweet caramel sauce on top, okay? I’m especially picky when it comes to chocolate. The cacaー”

Your movements stop again as you grow dizzy.

“...? What’s wrong? Now’s not the time to rest. I want to eat these soon so stop dawdlーー”

You nearly collapse, knocking over the bowl with cream in the process.

*THUD*

[00:56] “...! Ah!! The cream…!!”

*Rustle*

“Tsk...It turned out so well too...This all happened because you were spacing out…!”

You explain.

[01:13] “Hah…! You’re at it again with the sick act? Whenever things don’t go your way, you always blame it on feeling unwell! I bet you’re feeling faint because you let one of the other guys suck your blood, am I wrong!? Was it...Reiji again, perhaps? Even though you promised you would stay away from him!”

“SHUT UP!!”

*Thud*

[01:39] “I thought you were actually being a good girl and making the sweets I asked for but in the end, this is what I get! After you promised me several times too...Honestly...I’m so through with you!!”

*Rustle rustle*

“Haah…”

Kanato starts dragging you along.

“You want to know where we’re going? Oh no, you’re not going anywhere from here on out.”

*TIMESKIP*

*Cling cling*

*Rustle*

[02:23] “No, I won’t stop. Someone like you deserves no better than to be locked up inside the underground dungeon like this.”

You protest.

“Haah...You only have yourself to blame. For breaking our promise and letting someone else suck your blood.”

You deny it.

“SHUT UP! How many times are you going to lie to me? PLEASE DON’T MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME BY ASSUMING I’D BELIEVE YOUR WORDS OF DENIAL!”

You beg.

[02:58] “...If you want me to listen to the whole story, then promise me you will never tell a lie again.”

You promise.

“Haah...Okay then. I suppose I wouldn’t mind listening a little.”

You start explaining.

“...Your health actually has been in poor condition, you say? You sure are insistent about that part.”

You continue talking.

[03:28] “So? ‘At this rate you will ーー’ What? You’re not going to tell me you’ll die, right?” 

You remain quiet.

“Kuh. CUT IT OUーー”

You nod.

“Huh? ...Say, did you...perhaps nod just now? Do you truly believe you will die if things continue down this path?”

You nod again.

“That...doesn’t make sense.”

You tell him it’s the truth.

[04:14] “You’re just joking when you say you might not have much time left, right?”

You shake your head.

“You want me to mentally prepare myself for the worst…? Ridiculous...I mean, there’s just no way you would die, right!?”

You try to make him face reality.

“SHUT UP!!”

You speak up again.

“SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! YOU JUST CAN’T DIE!! ...Stay here until I give you permission to leave!”

Kanato stomps away.

“Kuh…!”

*Thud*

*TIMESKIP*

[04:59] “Nn...Here. You should try one of the cookies as well. You haven’t been eating at all this whole time, have you?”

You politely refuse.

“Even if you’re lacking an appetite, you should be able to at least eat the things I bring you, no?”

You hesitantly grab a cookie.

[05:26] “Mmh. Better. Umー Where were we again…? Ah, right! I remember now! Honestly, I was so surprised to find out there was another human out there who has blood as sweet as yours! Well, I just so happened to cross paths with her on my way home from school, of course. ...You probably shouldn’t give yourself too much credit for having special blood. If you continue to be disobedient, you might just find yourself thrown aside by me at some pointーー Just kidding. Fufufu…”

You remain quiet.

[06:19] “Hey? Are you listening? You didn't nod off while I was talking, did you?”

You shake your head.

“Good. You’ve been quiet this whole time though. You should say something as well. Anything will do. What has been on your mind today, or what you would like to do if I were to free you from down here, for example.”

You tell him you want to see the outside world. 

[06:56] “Hmph. What will you gain from watching the scenery outside? Your eyes should only ever be on me.”

You go silent again. 

“Hah! Ridiculous! I’m here trying my best to strike up a conversation, yet you have nothing else to tell me?”

You bring up your health.

[07:24] “Aah...But I’ve heard enough about that. I’m sick and tired of hearing you say how you’ll ‘die’ or whatever…”

You try and reason with him.

“STOP! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT! ...Haah. We were having such a lovely chat as well, but you completely ruined it.”

Kanato gets up.

“My mood has been ruined. I will excuse myself for today.”

He leaves.

*Thud*

[08:01] ( You told me I was doing the wrong thing time after time. Trying to convince me that locking you up in that dim lit underground dungeon would only speed up the process and lead to an early death. You would even burst out into tears, worried about what would happen to me once I’m left behind. 

[08:19] Every time, I would grow upset and refuse to listen to you, covering my ears while simply turning a blind eye to everything, as I kept you imprisoned down there. Because I truly believed that if I kept at it long enough, you would eventually give in and stop saying that you were dying.

[08:42] ...I wonder why I didn’t just accept your words back then? Why didn’t I try and do something about the abnormal condition of your heart, even though I had taken notice of it? I never thought I would one day ask myself those questions over and over again. )

*TIMESKIP*

Kanato approaches you in the dungeon.

[09:10] “You seem rather out of it today. Do you have any idea how much time has passed since you were brought here?”

You shake your head.

“I suppose you don’t? ーー Or perhaps…”

*Cling*

“I guess you no longer care, do you? After all, right now the only thing which matters to you, is the person standing in front of you, right? Correct?”

You nod.

[09:50] “Fufu. You’ve become such a good girl. Well then, come here. I will let you embrace me as your reward.”

You move closer and wrap your arms around him.

*Cling cling*

[10:12] “...Haah...We will be together forever, okay? Please don’t say you’ll die ever again. ...You’re not going anywhere. You can’t even run. It’ll be just the two of us for eternity. I’m sure you feel the same way right now?”

You reluctantly nod.

[10:50] “...What was that just now? It appeared to me that you only nodded because you had no other choice. I can tell you’re hiding how you truly feel. ...Tell me loud and clear. How do you feel?”

You keep quiet. 

“Haha...Hahaha...So you really can’t let go of the possibility that you’ll die one day, no matter how many times I tell you that we’ll be together forever, can you? ...Cut it out alreaーー”

You speak up.

[11:31] “...’But’, what?”

You tell him he will be okay and can simply find another human to feed off of. 

“Did you just...tell me that I’ll be okay even if you die, because there’s plenty of replacements for you out there?”

You nod.

[11:50] “So...That’s all what matters? No way...What makes you believe you have the right to decide that on your own? Who told you to think that way!? Well...I won’t deny that I discovered someone with sweet blood in town the other day, but you’re still on a whole different level! ...ABOVE ALL!!”

*Cling*

[12:19] “Didn’t I tell you just now? That you won’t go anywhere, nor can you run away, so the two of us will be together forever…! Tsk...Yet...Kuh...Yet you have the nerve to…!! ...Honestly...I’ve had enough of this.”

You try to comfort him.

“Hah! ...Stay away from me.”

He walks away.

[12:57] “I’m sick of talking to you. Or rather, I suppose you could say that my love for you has faded.”

*Cling*

“That’s the key to those chains. From today onwards, you’re a free woman. I no longer care about you. ーー Just like you said, there’s plenty of people who can replace you out there. ...Farewell.”

Kanato leaves.

[13:38] “...Kuh!! She’ll die? Ridiculous! There’s just no way I would be left behind on my own. Yet she keeps on saying that she’ll die and to make matters worse, even has the nerve to tell me I could simply replace her! Where on earth did she get that ludicrous idea from!? ...I should just push her away for a bit. I’ll make her regret her words! Until she lets go of those ridiculous thoughts!”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kanato sakamaki #diabolik lovers daylight #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

[hardlyinteresting]

Matters of the mind, body, and soul

Laszlo Kreizler x reader

warnings: victorian ideals, discussions of sex (no smut), still 18+ to keep on the safe side, minors dni. the ending is open ended so feel free to imply what you like. potential spoilers for season 1 of the alienist. I also haven't edited this. if you know me, then no you don't please don't read this.

The pool house is eerily quiet as Laszlo makes his rounds reviewing the details of the crime scene. you follow silently keeping the bottom of your skirt lifted to avoid the possibility of blood stains. Lazlo follows invisible clues to one of the changing cubicles.

"what is it Laszlo?”

"l'm not sure yet" he mumbles.

you watch fascinated by the man in front of you.

"do you think something, or someone else stole his attention? He didn't complete his ritual on this poor boy" you offer.

"that's exactly what I am thinking” he says, reaching into the cubical with one hand running two fingers up the wall before bringing them to his lips. your breath catches in your throat you stomach turns in on itself and you can feel heat rush to your cheeks. Laszlo is kind enough to not mention the sound of your sharp intake of breath.

it's much later in the evening when you're back at the make shift office Sara set up.

Both Sara and John have gone home leaving Laszlo and yourself alone. you sit the counter pouring over notes you've made through out the case trying to focus your thoughts but the only thing on your mind is the image of Laszlo with his fingers to his lips. you're unsure why but it’s left you with a feeling of—is it longing? whatever it is it feels sinful. your mind wanders further imagining what the tips of his fingers might feel like against your own. at your waist? the curve of your hip?-caressing your thighs? between-- no you can't imagine that. you won't allow it.

"are you feeling alright?"

"hmm?"

"I was inquiring as to whether you might be feeling unwell. forgive me, but you haven't been yourself at all today”.

"no. I apologize l don't know what's gotten into me today doctor"

"you've seen something that’s left you un-nerved?"

"something lot that nature, yes.”

"do you wish to speak about it?”

you swallow hand brow furrows as you consider. if you can’t talk to an alienist about these thoughts who can you speak to? Laszlo puts down the piece of chalk from his hand, he sits down at the table pulling up another chair to face his. He motions to the seat. your heart races as you follow the silent instruction. your knees touch his when you sit and your quick to sit further back in the chair an action that does not go unnoticed by the doctor.

He also notes your unwillingness to look him in the eye instead choosing to focus on where your fingers trace patterns on your skirt

"your mind us wandering again?”

you only nod in response. biting your bottom lip. why do you feel like crying? you take another deep breath much shakier this time.

"it's not right--not proper"

"In my experience it's the thoughts we've been target to believe are improper that are actually the most natural.”

How is it possible that his understanding makes you want to cry more?

“I fear -- l am afraid that these thoughts are not as natural as you say they may be. I cannot imagine anyone having thoughts such as these about a person."

"so it is another person who has been occupying your mind?"

you nod.

"do you wish to cause this person harm? To injure or kill?"

"no! never." You’re quick to respond looking up at him.

He nods observing your wide eyes and damp eyelashes. He'd be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart clench seeing you so obviously distraught.

"well then" he says gently taking one of your hands in his, "l assure you, there is nothing unnatural about you or your mental preoccupations"

you shiver at the feeling of his fingertips against the pulse point of your wrist

"it may be bold of me, but I believe that what you’re feeling is simply desire"

you shake your head.

"l can't stop thinking about it"

"about what" He presses.

"this morning. you-- “ you sigh standing to turn away from the man," you licked your fingertips and my mind has not been my own since then."

"There is nothing shameful about desire. it is our most primal instinct the very reason every creature on this planet continues to exist"

He stands slowly and you can hear his footsteps approaching.

"if this is desire then my mother was not honest with me"

“It is likely she was not. But I doubt that the dishonesty was intentional”.

standing toe to toe with you he tilts your chin up for you to look at him with watery eyes.

"l still don't understand” you confess, "why would what you did cause this-- surely that's odd even if my thoughts themselves are not”,

“On the contrary. But it is not my place to speak to you about such things" his hand returns to yours.

"l must know Laszlo. I am tired of being at a disadvantage especially in matters of my own soul, mind and body."

He resists a smirk at the fire he sees grow behind your eyes. The unmoving need to stand your ground. an admirable quality.

"very well. There are many things that draw us to potential partner some attraction is conscious, but mostly attraction is a subconscious function, something we do not actively focus on in order to process. Some alienist believe that features that may seem insignificant to us are actually very important,” He lifts one of you hands to hips lips pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles before continuing, “hands for example seem to be an important subconscious factor when women look at a man. Simply put; when I brought my fingers to my mouth this mourning--" he pauses to repeat the action and you can feel your bottom jaw go slack again, your thighs clench without thought. Laszlo continues, "it brought your subconscious processes to the surface. I trust you can understand why the lips and mouth might also play a role in desire".

"kissing." your mother had told you that much.

"among other things yes” He turns away returning to his chair.

"other things? Laszlo, please don’t give me half truths." you plead moving to sit in front of him again, this time not moving when your knees touch.

"it is not easy to explain.. And when it comes to matters of desire it is better you wait and experience them instead"

"wait? for what? To wed a man I do not care for, and who will not care for my desires? If all men knew what you say you know, then I know my mother would have told me more"

He considers it. your right. it's true that women are only told what it is they need to know to be "good wives" He is not obtuse to the fact that society has not been built for the comfort, satisfaction or pleasure of the female sex.

"Both the hands and mouth can be used to stimulate the body during relations"

you nod watching Laszlo's finger mindlessly trace circles on the arm of the wooden chair and you briefly consider that he's reimagining a moment from his past as he looks deep in thought.

“And, forgive me, have you done these things?”

He looks back up at you, “I have”

“Show me”. You surprise yourself by saying.

"you deserve to venture through these experiences with someone who loves you, and that you love."

Your brows furrowed as you think, then you're the perfect man. You drop to your knees in front of him taking both his hands in yours where they rest on his knees. "and do you not hold affection for me? John has told me you've said as much in so few words. I am not naive in believing you must know how I feel about you by now"

He offers a gentle smile, one hand leaving yours, moving to cup your cheek, "It is my propensity to the very affections you speak of that prevents me from acting. I have-- I have never been bold enough to assume that the feelings may be returned."

It's your turn to reach to hold his face in your hands,

“Oh, Laszlo”.

He stands slowly and you stand too. His weaker hand finds a place to rest on your hip, and despite the layers of skirts and petticoats you swear you can feel the warmth of his palm, the tender press of his fingertips. His other hand traces the the shape of your cheekbone, and jawline memorizing each detail. It's slow and almost imperceptible but at some point your eyes have fluttered shut and your can feel yourself leaning in as his lips meet yours. Oh. He pulls you closer, the hand on your hip moving to press you close by the small of you back.

His forehead rests against yours and you take a moment to appreciate the soft scratch of his beard against your palm.

“Is this equal to the images your mind conjured”.

“Yes,” you confess, “but there was more”.

“Tell me”.

You shake your head avoiding his gaze almost as embarrassed as you were earlier.

“There is no shame between lovers, mien Schatz”.

“Lovers?” The word catches in your throat as you return your attention to him once more.

“I thought that I was clear in my intentions--forgive me. I would never have--if this is not an interaction you which to have tell me at once, I will put the notion to rest”

“I want this-- I want you Laszlo”.

“Then it would be an act of cruelty on my part to not give you what you desire”.

His lips are on yours once again, but this time we walks you backwards until your back is against the wall, the grip of both his hands on your hips much more firm this time.

“I wish to know what it feels like-- “ you grab one of his hands in both of her own “--to feel your fingertips upon my own lips”

You maintain eye contact with the doctor as you bring his hand up, dropping your head down to meet his hand that is in your control, his fingertips graze your bottom lip, his fingers twitch but he does not pull away. You hesitate but venture to brush the tip of your tongue against his forefinger as he had done himself this morning. Pulling away only when he lets out a shaky breath.

“I think I understand,” you mumble, “and these things, they affect you too, doctor?”

“Very much so”.

#laszlo kreizler #laszlo kreizler x reader #laszlo kreizler imagine #the alienist

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

Caring is the Greatest Advantage- Part 3 (Mycroft Holmes x Reader)

AN- Thank you for the patience for this one! My little boy has been unwell so it has taken a little longer than I had hoped but here is the third instalment! It’s a little shorter than the others but that’s because I wanted to contain the angsty part in one chapter, the next ones will hopefully be longer..

This one is a little more angsty, a lot more emotional, but I’m quite happy with the outcome and I hope you are too! As usual, please let me know any thoughts/feedback! And enjoy!

Word Count: 2510

"Is it just me that finds Stephen Fry a bit.. sexy?" You spoke, watching the television as Young Ones' Scumbag College competed on University Challenge. "I don't know what it is about him. He's just.. got such a lovely voice, and he's so sodding clever and his CLOTHES- got much better looking with age, mind." Mycroft only hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

"Hmm.. He's not really my type." You laughed and petted his head fondly.

"You don't have to be gay to find another man attractive Myc." You mused. "Me and Greg talk about it all the time, though he fancies Hugh Laurie more, especially in Blackadder." You laughed, thinking back on the memory of Greg's fondness of George in the Blackadder Goes Forth series.

"I'm aware that sexuality and attraction are not the same, Y/N. I am comfortable enough in my own heterosexuality to appreciate another man's features. In fact, I very much agree with Gregory's view on Mr Laurie. Stephen, however, is not my type. The few people that did speak to me in University used to tell me I reminded them of him in the way I behaved but, and I quote, 'without even a lick of his humour, you miserable bastard.' Thus, I cannot look at him in that way." He laughed a little and you cleared your throat.

"Oh.. uh, yeah I guess that makes sense. Not the humour part though, you're actually hilarious and they missed out big time." You tried to avoid the point where you'd deemed Stephen Fry sexy in every way he was similar to the man who was laying in your lap, and just hoped he wouldn't bring that up.

"He definitely got the looks side of things though, particularly as General Melchett in Goes Forth, though I am not particularly fond of the facial hair." He screwed up his nose in distaste, you fighting every ounce of your control to not say he looked a bit cute. "And certainly didn't have the waistline that 21 year old Mycroft had."

"Speaking in the third person now, are we? Well, Mycroft, Y/N is comfortable enough in her friendship that Y/N thinks Mycroft can be sexy in his own ways too." You teased, partly embarrassed, but equally just trying any way to improve the man's confidence, even by a little. Mycroft choked a little on his own saliva and had to sit up to regain his own breath. Too far? "Sorry." He shook his head 'no' but didn't speak. In his moments of regaining his composure, Mycroft watched you. Processed in his head what you had said- 'was it a joke?', he couldn't read anything on you that would suggest that, though his eyes were glassy from the choking- watched as you panicked, then subsiding the panic to concern as you made sure he was okay. All these things, he thought, he didn't deserve. He took a deep breath and reached for the television remote, pausing the show and settling back on the other side of the sofa. It had to be done now. Done while his brain was allowing it, before he got attached... before he got attached even more. He couldn't keep pretending it was okay, keep accepting your compliments and your kindness, couldn't allow himself to go any further in his.. attraction?

It was always unspoken between the two of you- your not so subtle hints to Mycroft over the last few years hadn't got unnoticed, Mycroft would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he felt the same way, though this was perhaps the most open you had been; he would always put it off, try to think of reasons why you shouldn't be more than whatever you are now- most of the time it circles back to work, your busy schedule at the Yard and his unpredictable working hours mostly, saying to himself that it would simply be pointless, that you wouldn't see each other. But he knew that was a lie- you see him as often as you can, even if it's just for an hour on lunch, and everyone knows he would do his best to move empires to have you over for dinner had it been a while, quite literally actually.

Then there was age, you were in your mid-to-late twenties, he in his forties, though that argument also fell flat after you had mentioned your last long term relationship had been with a man your elder, amongst many of your interests in celebrity males that you had mentioned being closer to his age than yours- and, on his behalf, it was usual for a Politician to walk into formal dinners with a younger woman on arm. In the end, it all went back to the real reason Mycroft put everything off, a reason he hated admitting to even himself. Mycroft was scared.

Having been the age he is with no sexual experience, no previous relationships, and not even many friendships, he was terrified he would humiliate himself and you would leave him completely. You were both adults, both clever, you both knew there was always 'something' there, but without you ever acting upon it, Mycroft decided to live his life keeping you as a friend rather than risk not having you at all. He felt guilty enough having you here anyway. He couldn't allow you to keep stroking his hair like that, or letting you sleep in his bed with him, hold him as he snored, when it was for completely other desires in his own mind, not without speaking to you. No, that wouldn't be fair- even if he didn't fully understand everything himself and was still incredibly scared. You needed to know the truth, about everything, and, if there were the slightest chance you'd forgive him, he had decided he couldn't wait any longer, couldn't put it off anymore, he wanted you to carry on doing those things, wanted to continue the nights you would stay in his bed. But Mycroft wanted it to change, he wanted to be able to start the night with a ghost of his hand on your hip, without waiting until you were asleep to bring himself to have that courage, to wake up next to you and not feel the awkward need to move so soon, just to stay a little longer. Christ, Mycroft wanted every cliché in the book with you, and it took him until yesterday to realise how much he wanted that, after nearly losing you. And he needed you to know, even if it risked it all.

"Y/N I-"

"I know, I'm sorry, I took it too far I was just messing about.. Not that I didn't mean it, I wasn't joking about you.. You are very attractive, but it was inappropriate.. I shouldn't have said it.. I just wanted to help.. though I don't think it did, might have made it worse, actually.. Didn't want to say anything and let you find out.. like that.. not that it matters.. because I AM happy JUST being your friend, over the moon, actually.. so I don't want you to think I ruined that... Because I know you don't feel.. like that.. and you're not saying anything which is scaring me a little because you're always talking.. Not that I don't like that.. I love you talking to me, you've got a lovely voice.. and.. and I'm going to shut up again.. sorry.. again.." You rambled, a lot, too much.. far too much. Mycroft tried to process everything, his eyes closing at every word. You were making this so much harder for him, admitting everything like that. Mycroft hunched forward in his position and braced his elbows on his knees, index and middle finger of each hand holding the weight of his head by his temples.

"No just.. Just stop talking for a moment." Mycroft snapped, cutting you off as your mouth opened to speak a little, the small jump back made his gaze soften. "Please." He spoke softer, apologetic. "I can't.. talk about that.. not yet. Not until you know.." You went to speak again but his head tilted, eyes containing a rare glaze of vulnerability, trying to stay in contact with your own but constantly dropping back to his lap- a silent plea to stay quiet, be patient and just give him a moment. And you did. Turning your body completely sideways, you crossed your legs on the sofa, hands resting folded in your lap as you encouraged him to continue with a brief nod of your head. "I fear if I don't tell you of yesterday's happenings in this very moment that I never shall, and that is far too selfish, even of me." He took a deep breath in. "But I just.. need a moment. A few, likely, throughout." You nodded your head again.

From there, Mycroft began to explain everything that had happened, told you of his sister, where she had taken him, Sherlock and John, what she spoke about, what she tried to get them to do. His voice cracked every so often, knuckles whitened as his fists clenches, creases formed in his trousers where he squeezed his hand on them, but you listened to every word and stayed silent- eyes welling with small tears. Mycroft spoke of the screen, told you of the snipers that were out there, targeting Ms Hudson and Molly. Your body stiffened as he added Lestrade to the list, feeling your throat tighten a little at the mere thought of losing Greg. Mycroft pressed on, told you about how Eurus tried to make Sherlock choose between him and John, told you how he'd tried to convince Sherlock to just shoot him, how Sherlock refused and threatened to shoot himself. His voice went breathless at the end of that, the idea of losing his brother so easily still fresh in his mind. You loosened your sitting position and leaned over, taking Mycroft's hand in your own and squeezing. He sighed again and closed his eyes.

"Please, don't." He whispered, trying to fold his hand into a fist to escape your embrace. You didn't let go and offered your other hand on his back in support as you watched a stray tear fall down his cheek. "I said don't!" He shouted, moving from your touch and standing up from the sofa, beginning to pace as his face contorted into more pain, another tear following the path of the last. You sat back, watched him, didn't take the anger to heart. "It was my fault! All of it!" He ran his hands through his hair and tugged, moving them after to wipe the droplets from his cheek.

"Myc it's ok-"

"It isn't okay Y/N! No part of any of this is even remotely close to okay!" He stilled now, posture going back rigid as he looked at you, eyes bloodshot and glassy. He told you of his Birthday present to Eurus- five unsupervised minutes with Moriarty- and started his pacing again. "A man died yesterday because of me. Sherlock, John, Greg, Ms Hudson, Molly. They all almost died yesterday. You almost... you almost died yesterday." His breath hitched again, lip softly quivering at the end of his words. You tensed a little and frowned, confused and urging him to elaborate. "They weren't the only people on the screens, not the only ones with a red dot on their heads, Y/N." Gaze avoiding you now, turned completely to face the wall rather than look at you at all- giving him a chance to compose himself, steadying his voice. "I saw you, you were happy, just dancing and making tea, but at any moment you could have... and it would have been my fault. And I know I should have told you yesterday, it was selfish of me using you the way that I have without letting you know everything. You could have been gone before I could tell you everything, before I could explain how I feel about you, and it all came rushing to me the moment I saw your face on that screen. I’m so sorry, for everything, for ignoring everything, for being the reason you almost-" The last thing Mycroft had expected was the feeling of arms around his waist, the feeling of a head resting between his shoulder blades, soaking the shirt with tears. You sniffed, holding onto him tighter as you cried into his back.

"It's okay Mycroft." You spoke, voice croaking from tears. "They're okay.. I'm okay. And you're going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere." The relief Mycroft felt from your words ran through his body as he slumped a little, left hand holding on to where yours joined on his stomach, his right lifting to his eyes where, in a very rare moment, he allowed himself to weep.

***

Neither of you were too sure on how long you stayed like that, Mycroft being held in your arms as he quietly cried into his hand, you into his back, but it was long enough that your feet were beginning to ache and Mycroft had become silent a short while ago. You attempted to loosen your grip but Mycroft quickly grabbed back at your hands, holding them to him again. You changed your tactic and instead circled round until your hands remained together on his back, you now at his front and you gave him one last squeeze before guiding him backwards to the sofa, taking your place next to him but keeping your arms around him.

"I'm sorry." His voice was broken, quieter than usual. You shook your head and fought the urge to cry again.

"Don't." You spoke, sliding a hand down to hold his own that rested on his thigh. "Don't apologise Myc. You didn't do anything on purpose, you were just trying to be a good person.. a good brother. We're both still alive. Sherlock, John, Greg, Ms Hudson, Molly, they're all fine, and I have no doubt that it was partly due to you that they are still okay- whatever the three of you did in there, it worked, and that's all that matters to me." Mycroft shifted, his eyes finding yours once more, scanning, searching, trying to find anything that showed you were lying, that you didn't trust him anymore, but he couldn't find anything.

"But I-" You placed a hand at the back of his neck and leaned forward slightly, your lips meeting his briefly for a few seconds before pulling back. It wasn't desperate, or longing, or out of lust- it was everything Mycroft needed. Everything that let him know that you weren't going anywhere, that you still wanted to be around him, to be with him. He relaxed but didn't speak, his hand beneath yours just turning to allow your fingers to lace together as he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. You rested your head against his shoulder, smiling softly as you felt his own rest atop yours before falling into a comfortable silence.

#mycroft #Mycroft Holmes #bbc mycroft #bbc mycroft holmes #mycroft x reader #bbc sherlock #reader insert #mycroft holmes x reader #mycroft holmes x reader smut

[supimjustwriting]

Bond Level 10 Servants When You’re Sick

Servant x Master Reader

Features: Gilgamesh (Caster), Medusa (Rider), Sakata Kintoki (Berserker), and Mysterious Heroine X Alter (Berserker) 

Author’s Note: I’m feeling under the weather. So, have some headcanons with my most used servants! I hope you’re all staying healthy during allergy season. Take care ~!

Love Fern 🌿

Gilgamesh (Caster)

The King of Heroes knew something was wrong the second you trudged your way to the cafeteria. He could practically see the ghost of pestilence looming over your sluggish form. Gil demands Emiya Archer to prepare his finest dish, (the red archer was already waaay ahead of him but a fight in the kitchen is the last thing Chaldea needs at the moment).

He’s well aware that you’re not a child but you’re tendency to put others before yourself always seemed to shine through. With this in mind the golden king delivers the dish himself and will (force) feed you should you refuse to finish your meal.

Sighing deeply, the blonde leads you back to your room earning some surprised looks from the other servants. A true king cares for his people, to him this is nothing different. The sight of your weak form resting in bed tore at his heart a bit. If only he caught on sooner. Will you yourself possibly- Shaking the thought of his death aside, a soft smile paints his lips. He won’t let the savour of humanity have such a boring demise.  

The youngest of the gorgon sisters timidly knocked upon the door of your room, curious to see if you would give her the time of day. One of her favourite moments since being summoned has to be your kind smile whenever you greet the rider. For some reason it reminded her of a sakura blossom.

Worry took root in her gut upon hearing no response. There was the slim chance you were somewhere else in the facility but that can’t be right. You always resided back to your room at this hour like clockwork.

 “Pardon the intrusion master.”

Letting herself in, a frown graced her features as she gingerly checked your temperature.

Medusa took it upon herself to care for you, following Romani’s instructions to the tee. She’d wave away fellow servants who’d do more damage than good, asking Mash to help with any excess paperwork so you wouldn’t be overwhelmed once you were better. 

It felt nice to be useful. She was used to running errands for her sisters all the time but this was different. The tranquility of your face while you rested, the way your chest slowly rose and fell. Every little thing was leading to something bigger.

She might not be the best servant at fighting but that won’t stop her from being by your side.

Sakata Kintoki (Berserker)

Poor boy was in a panic. How could his golden master get sick! Was it something he did? Something he didn’t do? Pushing aside his rampant thoughts. Kintoki remembered what Reiko would feed him when he was feeling unwell. With cooking not being his area of expertise. He reluctantly asked his mother for help when it came to preparing the dishes.

“Boss. They’re not my favourite thing either but I promise these pickled plums will get you feeling golden in no time!”

It was mostly Reiko who cared for you while Kintoki fetched whatever you and his mother needed. He isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer but he’s trying his best.

Mysterious Heroine X Alter (Berserker)

She didn’t notice anything was wrong until her supply of high class sweets was depleted. Wasn’t master in charge of her stock? Curious and a tad annoyed at the lack of sugar. Alter waltzed herself into your room only to grow concerned at your sickly form.

“Master! Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could’ve ordered you something hot at spacebucks by now.”

And that she did. A few sips were taken before it got to you but that’s her little secret.

“I’ve read somewhere that sugar helps fuel the body. Master, please drink this and get better soon.”

Once your drink was finished Alter crawled under the covers with you.

“Think nothing of it master. I’m simply making sure that your bed is at optimal temperature,” 

Cue the berserker stealing half of your bed. At least she was good company.

#Fate Grand Order #Fate Go #fate go gilgamesh #servant x reader #Fate dandelion #fate imagines

[prof-peach]

Hey Prof, I need your advice.

My sister recently decided she didn't wanted her bulbasaur anymore (she got him on a whim about a month ago) and gave him to me, he is quite violent and tends to attack when I try to get close to him.

Now, that wouldn't be a huge problem, but my Purrloin has gotten hurt trying to befriend him, she's quite outgoing and never really liked fighting (we enjoy contests so she knows a few more flashy attacks), so she couldn't even defend herself properly.

I don't want to give up on him and my local rescue center is filled with Bunearies (you know, after Easter kids don't want their Bunny anymore) so they can't take him in right now, any advice in how I can go about this situation?

Sounds to me like you have a tricky little dude on your hands. So you're not battle orientated which will make this harder, Bulbasaur in the wild are actually quite combat minded to defend their families and territory, and a lot of their herds consist of strict hierarchy based on power and skill, often led by older, fully evolved members of their group. 

Before you take any actions to befriend them, its worth noting that any pokemon who comes into your care showing aggression is usually doing so for one or two reasons that are pretty universal for any species. Fear being the main issue with pokemon who have been ditched, if a pokemon is unwell, if it feels exposed, if it is unsure of you or your home, your partners, it may lash out because it is afraid. Even what looks like pure anger can stem from a fear. Of course some individuals are just full of rage, its not unheard of, but for the most part it comes from somewhere else. 

For a moment, take the time to put yourself in this pokemons shoes. It was chosen, with hopes and ambitions of its own, by your sister, a stranger to them, and for whatever reason they were cast aside. This reason may be unclear to the pokemon, it may be unfair, unkind, or even without malice just out of pure indifference. No matter the reason, this pokemon has been left behind by a trainer it at one point probably wanted to try to get along with. I don’t know what your sister may or may not have done, or provided for the bulbasaur, but it will help you understand how its feeling, if you were to ask her about their relationship prior to you receiving the pokemon. If it has always been aggressive and angry, i’d seriously consider talking to it about release, not rehome. 

We humans have a preconceived notion that pokemon are pets and things to keep with us. This may be true for some sure, but not every pokemon wishes to be a captive to a human, they may want more for themselves, and wish for a free life with their own kind. We cannot put our wants and desires above that of the pokemons, so you two need to have a talk, at a respectful distance for safeties sake, to see what the Bulbasaur feels they may want. These are herd pokemon, born and bred to be with their own kind, if not a larger group, if its lonely, if it wants to go home, to start a family, or simply to not be held in a ball as some creature to be owned, then you as its current carer must give it what you can. You can always find another pokemon who wants to be your partner, but you cannot give back lost years to a pokemon who has lived a life its unhappy with. Treat them with respect, and be open and honest. At the end of the day we have a chance to help pokemon, and forcing what we want onto them is a hinderance, and will lead to them feeling unsatisfied and bitter in the long run. 

Some pokemon lash out due to the process of being handed off to someone else, trust is earnt, not always just simply given to whoever holds the pokeball. Remember this as you move forward, and try to keep your other pokemon away from them, Bulbasaur are territorial species, and have to accept pokemon into their families before simply allowing them to come and go freely into their personal space. Despite their grouchy natures at times they usually do have a morally positive compass, and defend with ferocity when they love something. Perhaps in you showing genuine concern for their welfare and future, offering them not what you want, but instead what they want, they may give you a chance to get closer, but take baby steps, and try to be their friend above all else. I bet they're feeling pretty lonely right now. 

Its worth sharing interests with the pokemon, talk about contests, see if they're interested, some pokemon have a predisposition for this, others have no interest and prefer more battle based lives, or even peaceful non-competitive existences. no amount of pressure will change a pokemon’s nature, and some just aren't cut out for the fine art of showmanship that contests require. You can however use powerful attacks in showy ways, so theres always hope that they could enjoy it, if you can work with them to their strengths. 

If possible, work to getting them outdoors, cooping grass types up can lead to stroppy, testing personalities, many thrive in the outdoors, he may need some serious outside time to compensate for the lack of exercise and natural stimulation they may have not been getting prior to your ownership. There are plenty of areas in public that are much like tennis courts, areas of space you can book for a set amount of time too exercise difficult pokemon, these locations are often secure facilities, both outdoors and indoors, to suit a range of species. find one that has outdoor facilities and book a few hours per week to go there, increasing the time whenever possible. This exercise and time with you may help to find common ground, and topics that you and the bulbasaur can bond over. This can be anything from battles, to sun bathing, playing sports, games, swimming, running or digging, and everything in between. Bulbasaur naturally are great foragers and tend to like to snaffle about in long grass and shrubland, hiding treats like berry slices in a secure environment is good enrichment and can tire the pokemon out. a tired pokemon is usually a little less aggressive, having lower energy levels and less want to expend attacks. this process also associated you with something fun, and your scent will be on the treats too, so they'll know you were the one to provide this activity for them.   

I’d also take plenty of time to observe the bulbasaur, as your sister got them on a whim, they probably had no prior knowledge of the species, or how to correctly care for them. In a month, a health complaint could have begun to show, so observe their colouration, feet, walking gait, sleeping patterns, feeding habits, and general behaviour. Excess scratching, heavy breathing, or unusual shaking or moving can suggest a health condition is starting to take form. Most can be helped if caught early, but some illnesses give the pokemon discomfort, and can lead to snappy tempers and irritability. It could be that this individual is in pain, or finding life difficult due to its health, which can cause a lot of hostility as i’m sure anyone would agree. It can suck to be sick!

This species can be won over if you can prove you have a skill of worth to them. This is the case with a lot of pokemon, having respect for something they cannot do, and learning that they need things from you can lead to them at least tolerating us humans. Its a foot in the door. A trick i like t use with particularly difficult bulbasaur is to give them their fav food, whatever it is, then put it in a clear container the pokemon cannot open. They have no thumbs, and their vines though dexterous, aren't able to open every kind of container. The pokemon will want whats inside, and be unable to access it. they will eventually give up out of frustration. this is where you come in. enter the space, don’t let your pokemon approach as this can be threatening, and open the container. leave it on the floor open, making sure they've watched you get the thing open. They can then approach and enjoy their fav food, all thanks to you and those wondrous thumbs you have. repeating this process yields good results, and starts a mutual relationship of tolerance and acceptance between you and a bulbasaur. Most will accept they want the food more than they want you gone, and you provide something they can’t get to. whatever you do, don’t let them see that you were the one to lock the food up in the container. Get a friend to do it, or do it in the room, and leave it in place on the floor, before allowing the bulbasaur to enter and investigate the item. If they see you're the one doing it, the trick is foiled, and your back to square one. Eventually this does tend to lead to the pokemon becoming less stressed with you around them, and eventually it leads to trust, and even friendship. This trick is good to use to get them use to you, once they're ok with you being around them because of your use to them, they may start to take food from you directly, engage in play, or even just sit and tolerate company for short periods of time. Do not expect this to be quick, but it does usually do the trick. 

Regardless, i do have concern that the pokemon may want to be with its own, should you discuss this and find they're not interested in being housebound and a pet, feel free to send them our way, we had exactly this situation in mind when setting up the islands facilities, and have extensive locations designed with grass pokemosn needs at the forefront. Theres a small herd of about 12 bulbasaur evolutions that live north of our labs, no people see them, they are happy as a unit, and are left alone to go about their lives, with the only interactions between humans being us giving them their yearly health check, or should we spot them with an issue, we may intervene. They live away from others and pretty much free, in a poacher safe environment. Its not ideal, we like to keep pokemon in areas they come from, with people who love them, and you show great concern for the pokemon so it would be a shame to have to let them go, BUT sometimes thats just life, and theres nothing to be done about it other than accepting that the pokemons wants come first. They may just be mistrusting so try everything else first, and see how you go. hopefully you’ll yield some results from this all. Good luck out there trainer. 

#long post #bulbasaur #prof.peach #peach talks

[mearcatsreturns]

/whispers/ So maybe I now have to ask for Ivan and the No Good Terrible Very Bad Day Attempting to Babysit a Grisha Child Who Can Summon Light and Shadow. How could this possibly go wrong.

Once again, this got long, so here's the first chapter of A Day in the Life of Ivan, Or: Ivan’s Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day.

The worst day of Ivan’s life begins years before the fateful day itself, if that’s possible. He’s grateful not to know the precise day, but he knows who—or what, rather—is to blame.

It’s the damn heterosexuals. They just won’t stop fucking, and they’ve made it everyone else’s problem now.

The heterosexuals in question are, of course, Kirigan and Alina, or as they’re known now, the Tsar and Tsarina.

&&&

About three years before the Worst Day™, Ivan is minding his own business, just trying to find some decent food after returning from a mission to the northern border. It wasn’t a bad trip; Fedyor had been with him and they’d enjoyed the opportunity to spend some time together outside the political games of Os Alta.

Nevertheless, Ivan is eager to eat some food that isn’t dried and to sleep in his own comfortable bed. He’s already debriefed with the Tsar and bathed, so he’s delighted to find it’s time for dinner. It’s to be a small group tonight, just the king and queen, Nikolai, Zoya, Tamar, Nadia, Fedyor and him. He can tolerate them all (except Fedyor, who of course is the light of his life), though Alina remains permanently on thin ice. She makes the Darkling light and happy, and it’s just unnatural.

They settle around the table and fall into comfortable conversation. Tolya is on an assignment and intends to travel to Kerch after this. Tamar and Nadia are beginning to formalize their union and are looking for a house. If their bickering and the obscene looks Zoya and Nikolai are giving each other are any indication, Ivan expects some kind of announcement from them any day. The Tsar intends to invite some dignitaries from Novyi Zem to the palace in a few weeks.

And Tsaritsa Alina is pale and...unwell. She looks queasy, and Ivan feels a moment of alarm. Grisha can’t get sick, not unless they don’t use their powers. Given that Alina is the Sol Koroleva, the renowned Sun Summoner, that seems unlikely. Few things lead to such ill appearances. Maybe some kind of poison? If she or her food are being poisoned, they need to know as soon as possible.

Ivan does his usual first step; he counts the heartbeats, checking their speeds. One, two, three, four, everyone is normal, five, six, seven, eight, nine...ah, the ninth is faint and fast.

Wait. Nine? There are only eight of them here at dinner, and the attendants have long since departed.

It hits Ivan like a lightning bolt, and he gasps aloud in shock and horror. The most reasonable explanation for the extra heartbeat and Alina’s ill looks is—oh, saints protect them all—a baby.

Everyone turns to look at him, as though he is the one who’s done something strange and dangerous.

Ivan gapes at Alina and points a finger accusingly, “You’re pregnant! With a baby!”

Beside him, Fedyor closes his eyes and shakes his head, letting out a sigh. Tamar and Nadia exchange a knowing, amused look, though they manage not to laugh. Zoya raises one shapely eyebrow.

Nikolai grins. “One generally is pregnant with babies, as opposed to anything else. Except perhaps with genius ideas, in my case and David’s. Alina, moi tsar, congratulations to you both.”

Alina glares at Ivan. What? He’s not the unholy saint about to unleash terror onto the earth from their womb.

Once he glances at Kirigan, though, Ivan stills. The Tsar is ashen and looks as though someone has dropped an iron on his head, or told him that his beloved horse is Grisha too.

“Aleksander, I wasn’t sure. I was waiting until I was to tell you,” Alina says, one hand on her husband’s forearm. “Are...are you all right?”

The Tsar opens his mouth, but no sounds come out.

Tamar and Nadia stand, hand-in-hand. “We, ah, think we’ll take our leave now. Thank you for a lovely dinner, Sol Koroleva, my King,” Tamar says, and she and her fiancée flee.

Zoya clears her throat and gives Nikolai a look that is very different from the hungry one Ivan so despises on faces that aren’t Fedyor’s.

With a nod at her, Nikolai stands and helps her to her feet. “Indeed. Your hospitality is, as always, boundless, though I can’t help but feel we’re trespassing on it every second we linger here. Erm, do let me know when I can get you a gift.”

“Congratulations,” Zoya says, and to Ivan’s disgust, she actually sounds sincere. He watches as she and Nikolia leave, one of the Lantsov pup’s hands at the small of her waist. One would think the heterosexuals would have learned from this evening that touching each other is dangerous, but apparently some of them are just utter fools.

Fedyor elbows him, and Ivan turns to scowl at his beloved. “Wha—”

A point of his head in the direction of the Tsar and Tsaritsa quiets Ivan.

Alina is kneeling beside her husband’s chair, stroking his arm. Aleksander Kirigan, King of Ravka, Shadow Summoner, the Black General, sits still as a statue, eyes wide with shock.

“We’ll head out now too,” Fedyor says.

Ivan nods, grabbing Fedya’s arm and hauling him from the room. Over his shoulder, Ivan yells, “Good luck!”

Fedyor smacks him, whispering furiously as they close the door behind them. “‘Good luck’?! You’re supposed to say ‘congratulations,’ or ‘have a nice evening,’ you utter troll.”

“I’m a troll now? See if I give you a massage when we get back to our rooms,” Ivan grouses. He pulls Fedyor along, pulling him away from where he seemed inclined to linger by the door. Eavesdropping, pah. He can’t believe he’s married to such a busybody.

Who would want to stay to hear whatever nonsense the Darkling and his wife are about to say or do? He’s had enough of that for one lifetime, thank you very much.

Ivan shudders. The two most powerful Grisha on the planet, one a sun summoner and the other a shadow summoner, having a baby? The world is definitely doomed.

&&&

The next day, Ivan receives a summons to go see the Tsar. Dread churns in his stomach, and he rubs his eyes. He hadn’t slept well, especially after he and Fedyor had a tiff about “inappropriate behavior and outbursts.” And now he’s to see his boss, probably about said outburst the previous night.

He accompanies Anton, the young oprichnik to the Tsar’s quarters, and the boy brightens with excitement to be talking to one of the Tsar’s most favored Grisha. “Thank you, Andrei. I’ll make my way from here.” The boy’s face falls, but Ivan dismisses him with a nod. If the oprichniki got any more friendly, they’d start calling him Vanya without his permission. Appalling.

Ivan takes a deep breath, then knocks at the door. He’s long since learned the value of knocking after Alina and the General got together, especially now that they share their quarters. Unfortunately, no healer has yet to find something to wipe certain sights from his brain.

“Come in,” Kirigan’s faint, disembodied voice commands.

Ivan lets himself into the room, waiting while the Tsar steps around the corner from the bedroom he shares with his queen.

“Good morning, Ivan.”

“Good morning, moi soverennyi. I hope you rested well,” Ivan replies, tone funereal. Saints, he prays he’s not about to be sent to Tsibeya permanently. He runs his hand under his collar, annoyed to find he’s actually sweating.

Kirigan’s face gives nothing away. “I did, thank you. The Tsaritsa is with Genya and one of the healers.”

“And she...she is well?” Ivan gulps.

“Yes. She was apparently a bit surprised last night herself, as she’d only just begun to suspect she might be pregnant.”

As much as Ivan hates when the Tsar’s feelings show—it’s usually him making soppy, annoying faces at Alina—he wishes Aleksander would just say what’s on his mind.

“My apologies, sir, I was also surprised. She seemed unwell, and I wanted to make sure she wasn’t, say, being poisoned.”

“You thought someone might be poisoning my wife?” Kirigan is incredulous.

“Things have been very calm with Fjerda lately. I don’t trust it.”

The General mutters under his breath, something about not trusting anything.

Ivan waits. Finally, Kirigan breaks the not-so-silent silence. “Well, thank you for your concern. And, ah, the surprising news.”

“You’re most welcome,” he replies gloomily.

“You don’t seem thrilled.”

“Forgive me, moi tsar, but I don’t see a need for excitement at a natural result of your conjugal activities. Sir.”

Oh, saints, is Kirigan frowning at him? Ivan mentally starts packing his belongings when the frown becomes a smile and then a laugh.

Perhaps Aleksander still isn’t quite recovered from the shock of his impending fatherhood.

He’s not paying attention to Ivan anyway. Kirigan makes his way to the table, shuffling the papers there unseeingly. “I didn’t think it was possible, you know.”

“I did not.” And Ivan would like to keep it that way.

Alas, Aleksander seems inclined to continue talking. “In all my long life, longer than you know, I’ve never fathered a child.”

Ivan grimaces. The world is probably grateful, though now it has much to fear. “It would have been challenging to have had a child during the wars, sir.”

Kirigan waves this aside, and unfortunately continues speaking. “Still, for it to happen with Alina...I’m so thrilled, Ivan.”

“And I am...happy for you, General.” Make it stop. Ivan is queasy.

“Of course, it’s probably for the best that it didn’t happen when Alina and I first got together, especially now that I know how possible that was.”

Ivan wants to cover his ears and sing “la la la la la,” but the implications of what his boss is saying finally sink in, and his horror at this whole situation increases exponentially. “Wait. Do you mean to say you weren’t using, ah, preventative measures?”

Kirigan’s face grows sheepish. “Until my conversation with Alina last night after you all departed, I wasn’t aware there was such a thing. In my day, one simply planned around the time of the month or withdrew from—”

“I beg you to stop talking. Moi soverennyi,” Ivan adds as an afterthought.

The Tsar falls silent, and Ivan sighs with relief.

But something bothers him. “Did you not get any sort of talk about how to prevent pregnancy when you were training? Even I did when I was young, before everyone knew I wouldn’t have to worry about that.”

“Like I said, there weren’t those kinds of options when I was young, as far as I know,” Kirigan says with a shrug.

Ivan begins to realize that his boss is, in fact, much older than he thought. That explains the herring and rye, too. He hesitates before venturing to speak. “Do...was Alina—the queen, that is, did she explain the different kinds of birth control, or…?”

“Well, I can’t get her more pregnant, Ivan.”

It’s too horrible to even contemplate, and Ivan shudders.

Kirigan laughs and slaps his shoulder. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to give me The Talk. Alina was so upset I didn’t know that she told me everything last night.”

Ivan’s lips twist in dismay at Aleksander’s rapturous expression that indicates there was a demonstration of some practical applications. Ugh. “Small mercies.”

“Well, hopefully you’ll consider this next a mercy: I want you and Fedyor to stay close through Alina’s pregnancy, especially once word gets out.”

Staying in Os Alta won’t be so bad, but the idea of dancing attendance on Alina, all while some parasite hijacks and distorts her body...well, hopefully he’ll get a good field assignment once this pregnancy is over. “Of course, moi tsar. And when will it end? I mean, ah, when is the blessed event?”

“In seven and a half months or so, perhaps eight. She’s about five or six weeks along, the healer says. And that, well…” Kirigan smiles at what is clearly the memory of this child’s conception.

Ivan fervently wracks his brain, desperate to keep his boss from offering more information that will give him nightmares about heterosexual intercourse. “And is there any way of knowing whether the babe will be a shadow summoner or sun summoner? Or both?”

A stricken look comes over Kirigan’s face. “Both?” He clearly hasn’t considered this possibility yet. “But that…” He doesn’t continue, instead going to fall into his chair and stare into distance.

It’s going to be a long few months.

&&&

It’s roughly eight months after that when Ivan is rudely pulled from sleep by Genya bursting into his and Fedyor’s room like she has the right.

It’s obscenely early in the morning, Ivan is, as is his usual habit, sleeping on his side facing the window. Fedyor, as is his usual custom, sleeps with his arm slung over Ivan’s waist and his head buried between his shoulder blades. It’s very soothing, normally.

Not today, though. The door opens with a bang, and Genya yells, “It’s time! She’s here!”

Ivan, suddenly wide awake, goes to jump out of bed. Instead, he finds that Genya has slowed their heart rates enough that hurrying is impossible. He glares at her. “What the fuck are you doing in our room? Who is here?”

“The baby is here. The tsarevna.”

“It’s a girl?” Fedyor asks with a smile.

Genya grins back. “Yes. She’s adorable.”

Ivan does not smile. “I’m glad she’s arrived. But why are you here in our bedroom at—” he glances at the clock and continues, “4:52 in the morning?”

“Everyone is going to see here. You’re the Tsar’s right-hand man, Ivan, so they’ll be expecting you.”

“Well, Genya, darling, you’ll have to let our hearts do their normal thing if you want us to do that,” Fedyor adds.

She shakes her head and drops her hand. “Of course. Sorry. See you there in fifteen minutes, and please be wearing pants. And shirts.”

Ivan grumbles, but gets out of bed. It’s difficult to want to leave when Fedyor is looking over him like that, but Kirigan probably will be upset if they don’t come to fawn over his spawn in what he deems a reasonable amount of time.

He and Fedyor make their way down the halls of the palace to Aleksander’s and Alina’s private apartment. The door is open, but Ivan nods at the guards and knocks anyway before stepping inside, Fedyor on his heels. He walks back to the bedroom, where he can hear hushed, happy conversations.

Alina is lying on the bed. She looks sweaty and disgusting, but in a radiant and maternal way that the Tsar seems to find beautiful, since he can’t look away from her. Typical, and exactly what got them into this mess.

The mess in question is wrapped in a blanket in her mother’s arms. Ivan glances at the small bundle, which seems to be sleeping. It is certainly very red.

Kirigan sits in a chair beside the bed, as close to it and his wife and new daughter as he can. He’s resting one hand on Alina’s shoulder, while the other trails along his daughter’s tiny head.

“The tsarevna is lovely,” Fedyor says, smiling down at the family.

Ivan thinks that’s a bit of a stretch, but he nods. “She looks like a baby. A healthy one.”

Fedyor elbows him, but Alina just rolls her eyes. “Thank you, I think.”

“She’s beautiful,” Aleksander says firmly, his face still disturbingly dreamy. “We’ve decided to call her Anastasia.”

Nastia. That seems about right.

Just then, the wee girl stirs and starts to wail. As her cries grow louder and Alina shifts to be able to feed her, shadows creep into the room. Then through the darkness, Ivan sees little flashes of light coming from the baby.

Fuck. This tiny child can summon shadows and light.

Nasty little Nastia indeed.

#fivan #heartrender husbands #darklina #heartrender husbands ff #fivan ff #ivan ff #darklina ff #sab ff #shadow and bone #grishaverse #my fanfic #next chapter should be up tomorrow or the next day #Ivan remains a beleaguered and snarky fool #will be on ao3 too #give ivan a raise 2kwhatever

[nalu4emily]

The Unexpected Reward - Chapter 17

Summary:  Natsu and Lucy go on a job together, but what they bring home is something neither anticipated. Forced to make a life changing decision, they have to adapt quickly, but that's never easy, especially given the circumstances. As they work together on their toughest adventure yet, they find themselves drawn to one another, in ways they never realised. Rated Mature. 

"Hey, Flame head! Wait up!" Gray called over, catching the fire mage as he hurriedly made for the guild's exit. "Where're you going in such hurry?"

Turning to catch the ice mage walking straight for him, Natsu stopped to answer, "Home. I left Lucy and Haru asleep this morning, so I better get back to 'em."

"Oh... You've not been at the guild much lately, is everything cool with you?" The ice mage pushed further.

"Uh… Yeah! Been kinda busy and stuff, ya know." The slayer shrugged, not seeming too interested in divulging any further information.

"Well, are ya too busy to come on a mission? It's been some time since our last job together as a team." Gray asked, scratching the back of his head.

"It has been a while, now you mention it… I'd have to ask Lucy if she's feeling up to it yet, she's still not feeling too good… Anyway, catch ya later!" Natsu spoke cheerily and turned back towards the door, his hand reaching for the handle.

"Lucy's been sick for an awfully long time now, Natsu." He heard another voice say, halting him in his tracks, "Are you sure there's not something else going on?" Lisanna came up and elbowed him playfully in the arm.

"Hm?" He replied, retracting his arm back to his side.

"That's right! Lucy hasn't shown her face in months now. Has something happened? Are you guys having relationship issues?!" Levy gasped at the thought, her eyes wide with her mouth hung low.

"Relationship issues?" Natsu cocked his eyebrow in disdain; what kind of nonsense was that?

"I think you're getting a little carried away there, Shrimp. You've been reading too many books again." Gajeel teased, poking Levy's pouted cheek as he came up from behind. "And Lucy hasn't been gone that long… has she?"

"How suspicious… His beloved is sick and yet he's not with her!" Juvia murmured, appearing creepily behind Gray, making him shudder. "What is he hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything! You guys are looking way too much into this." Natsu lied, but for good reason.

The truth was a little more complicated than that. With Lucy being so unwell, she'd not been able to leave the confines of their house, having suffered greatly in the first months of her pregnancy. It'd been hard for the both of them, but Natsu had promised to look after her—to not leave her side, and he'd kept to his word. Having skipped out on job after job, and taking longer and longer breaks between each visit to the guild, it was only natural for their friends to worry and speculate, but it did put him right in the firing line.

He was wasting time. He had to get back to his partner and son, it wasn't fair to keep them waiting. The guild would get their long awaited answers when Lucy returned, which with any luck, would be very soon.

"Can I go now? I got things to take care of." Natsu huffed, starting to get frustrated with their incessant intrusiveness.

Trying to slip out from under the guilds snooping nose, the fire mage was beginning to question whether that was even an option any more, not with the amount of people now crowding him, wanting in on the action. He just hoped the great Titania didn't decide to intervene, then he'd be doomed.

"What things would that be then, Natsu? You're not usually this secretive." Lisanna hinted again, even more curious than before. "I thought you said you had to go home?"

"Just leave the kid alone, he's got his reasons." Laxus shrugged nonchalantly, pretending not to be interested, when really he'd heard everything.

"Yes, listen to Laxus!" Freed jumped in, also creepily appearing out of no where, making the lightning mage quiver. "Natsu doesn't need you all pestering him!"

Said boy sighed, glad to have someone on side and took the opportunity to make his leave—But things were never going to be that easy. The slayer found himself almost smacking his head against the thick, wooden door frame, utterly exasperated, when yet another of his guild mates decided to pipe up and add their two pennies worth.

"Yes, you're right. However, doesn't he usually have the kid with him? Why not today? So many questions that have yet to be answered. It makes you wonder really…" Evergreen chortled to the dubious guild members, hiding her conniving smirk behind her fan.

This was getting out of hand! They were just going 'round and around in circles and at this rate he would never leave. Being backed into a corner, he had no idea what was really going on. His guild mates were chucking all sorts of nonsensical bullshit at him.

Who knew what they were accusing him of? Because he sure as hell didn't know, and was pretty convinced now that they didn't either.

"I've already said Haru's at home with Lucy… The only reason I'm here, is to check in with Mira to make sure everything's ready for his party later. You know, for his birthday today." He explained once again, sighing loudly and slumping forward in despair. "I wasn't gonna bring him in early and spoil the surprise, now was I?"

He wouldn't have bothered with any of it, if it hadn't been for the take over mage and her desire to throw some massive party for the little boy, such was the way of Fairy Tail. But this time, Natsu would've much preferred to celebrate at home where Lucy could be present to enjoy it, too. However, Mira had made her own plans, having suddenly sprung the idea upon the unknowing young man one day in passing, and had given him little choice in the matter—his ultimatum much scarier than Erza could ever be.

"We're well aware of the little one's birthday celebrations today, Natsu." Erza's stern voice echoed through the hall, startling everyone into silence and swiftly marched herself right up to the slayer's retreating body. His heart raced as his worst fear became reality and felt a wave of dread as she approached at speed, her hardened features coming in way too close for his comfort. "However, that doesn't mean I'm any less suspicious of you."

"But why?! There's nothing to be suspicious about, I swear!" Holding his hands up in submission, the fire mage was stunned into silence; his mouth dropping open in disbelief; why were they all so hell bent on this? What even was this? He'd told them what he could; what more did they want? "Lucy and Haru are at home where I left them… What else do you want me to tell you?"

"So secretive and elusive… like you have something to hide. Have you no shame?" Ignoring Natsu's plea, the armoured girl had already come to her own conclusions and summoned one of her treasured swords to point directly at the slayer, her icy glare not the only thing threatening to pierce through him, "Our Natsu would never act like this! He's impulsive and reckless and just downright stupid! What have you done with the real one?"

The fire mage would've taken offence, had the red head not so angrily directed her sharp sword at the bridge of his nose. Narrowing his eyes at the sharp metal so close to him, he gulped thickly, praying to whatever god there was, that today of all days, Lucy might just walk through those big doors, saving him from the hell that was Erza Scarlet.

He shook in his sandals, showered in sweat as the red heads sword tip made contact with his skin, pushing his head right up against the wall, "B-But I am the real Natsu…"

"Then prove it! Explain yourself, now!" She was taking no shit from her fiery companion, not after convincing herself that he was, indeed, an imposter.

Desperate not to be on the receiving end of Erza's wrath, Natsu opened his mouth to speak, but just as quickly shut it again when the old guild doors suddenly creaked open. The sound of an infants voice followed by bickering between two others could be heard filling the loud silence, abruptly halting the interrogation of the defeated fire breather.

"See, Happy! I told you he'd be in here!" The young woman pointed, her eyes landing right on the dragon boy she'd been arguing with flying cat about, only realising moments later the presence of Erza's sword and every eyeball in the building staring unashamedly at her, "Uh… Am I interrupting something?"

"Lucy... you're here..." Natsu croaked in relief, never more glad to see his beautiful girlfriend as he sank to the floor. His voice cracking from the genuine fear the older girl had provoked in him, her sword now fully removed from his face. "My sweet saviour…"

"Uh-oh! Is Natsu in trouble again?" Happy giggled, glancing over at his pink haired friend, taking pity on his horror-stricken features.

"Lucy… You're alive?" Erza stated more than asked, stomping over to the young blonde to inspect her further.

"U-Uh…" The girl in question looked down at herself, confirming that she was definitely alive before looking back up again, confusion etched into her expression. "D-Do you want me to answer that?"

"Maybe you should lay off her a little; I'm sure Lucy's had it rough enough." Gray proclaimed bravely, unable to make eye contact with the unsettled knight.

"Please don't scare her off, not when she's only just returned!" Levy all but pushed Erza out of the way and threw herself at the blonde, who was now trying to balance the new weight along with the baby and herself. "I'm so happy to see you! I've missed you, Lu!"

"I've missed you too, Levy, but I'm sure Natsu's kept you updated." Lucy reassured her, then looked up to all of her other friends, "Hasn't he?"

"Natsu told us you hadn't been feeling well, but that's a suspiciously long illness Lucy, one I hope has a good explanation for making us all worry so much." Erza explained, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That's one long tummy bug!" Mira giggled, walking over to the ever growing group to stand near Lucy. "Anyone would think that you were p-" She paused, eyes growing wide with realisation and darted them down to the stellar mages midriff, before promptly fainting on the spot.

"Huh? Mira! Would think, what?! What were you going to say?!" Lisanna yelled, desperately trying to wake her sister up.

"Oh! I get it!" Gray understood, thinking back to the weird conversation he'd had with Natsu in the park and how it all made perfect sense now. "It definitely explains that idiots weird behaviour." He reached out to pat Lucy on the shoulder affectionately and smiled at her, then turned to smirk at said fire mage still recoiling on the ground. "So that's the way you wanna play? Game on, Pyro!"

Turning his head, Natsu smirked back, accepting the silent challenge as he jumped back up to his feet, looking cocky as ever, "You know it, Frosty!"

"Wait, what does Gray know? Is he a part of it too?" Levy gasped, pointing her accusatory finger at the demon slayer.

"Hell no!" Natsu and Gray yelled out in defence, both offended and totally disgusted by the very thought.

"Then what? What is going on here?" Cana shouted from her bench, having heard everything. "Quit with the suspense and just be out with it already!"

"Juvia understands." Out of the shadows, said water mage appeared before her once 'love rival' and smiled happily at the girl she was about to congratulate, "Juvia is so very happy for you both!" She looked down to her own rounded tummy and placed a hand on it, a noticeable difference in size to Lucy's, "They will be the best of friends, Juvia is sure of it."

Lucy's smile reached the corners of her eyes, relieved the rain woman didn't see this as another rivalry, like their partners apparently did, "Thanks Juvia, I'm sure they will be, despite what their father's might think." They both giggled at the expense of the boys gormlessly standing there, along with the rest of the guild, who still had no idea.

"Hold up! So, what does that mean? You're having a baby too, Lucy?" Lisanna asked, cradling her sisters limp body.

The guild's eyes fell to Lucy, more specifically her stomach where if they looked closely, they would see a small, but noticeable bump stretching out her pink summer dress. She could see the expectant faces of her friends waiting for her to answer, and the warm presence of her beloved dragon slayer come to stand next to her, obviously noticing her hesitancy.

"Natsu, I think you should tell them, I know you're dying to." She murmured, her voice quiet but firm.

"Are ya sure, Luce?" He asked, assuming she'd want to do it after all this time, but seeing the certainty in her eyes and the bright smile lifting her cheeks, he took her hand and turned back to the crowd, not needing any more confirmation than that. He glanced at each person in turn, a sense of pride filling his chest as the words left his mouth, "Heck yeah, we are!"

The entire guild erupted in a chorus of whistles and loud cheers, shaking the very foundations of the building in their excitement for the couple, "Oh, wow! Thanks guys! You're too kind!" Lucy's smile shone brighter than it had done in ages, overwhelmed with glee that their guild mates were so pleased for them.

"They've all been worried about ya, Luce." Natsu whispered closely so only she could hear and leaned in to kiss her cheek, knowing just how much this all meant to her. He took the excitable little guy off her hands, giving her the freedom to catch up with everybody.

"I knew it! I knew there was something fishy about you two! But congratulations guys, that's great news!" Levy cheered, ready to get down to the nitty gritty of every dirty detail.

"You had us worried there, Lucy. For a while, I thought you were never coming back!" Lisanna shared, hugging the celestial mage tightly, probably a little too tight.

"Oh… I'm sorry to have made you all worry, but I'm feeling much better now." The blonde explained, a light tint of pink dusting her cheeks from all the attention she was getting.

She could see Natsu hadn't moved too far away from her and tilted her head to look at him. Chuckling to herself, she could hear Erza try to apologise to him, suggesting the boy punch her right in the face for making such a mistake, a suggestion that was right up his alley, if it weren't for Haru in his arms.

Catching his beautiful blonde staring at him through the corner of his eye, he turned in her direction and winked, grinning as he held the little boy up on his shoulders to walk back over to her, "You feeling alright, Luce?" He asked, worried she may have forced herself into attending the celebrations before she was ready.

She nodded shyly, a little taken aback by the overwhelming attention she was receiving. Feeling his hand once again take hold of hers, she stared up into his confident eyes, then up to the child having the time of his life on his fathers shoulders, "I'm okay, but today's about Haru, not me, and I wasn't gonna miss this for the world." She grinned up at the small boy and reached up to stroke his cheek affectionately, chuckling at his enormous smile.

"You're right! Come on, Lucy! I wanna show you what we've done!" Natsu all but dragged the poor girl outside, Haru and Happy in tow, to show her the sheer amount of effort that had gone in to making Haru's first birthday, special.

The entire guilds courtyard had been lit up like a Christmas tree, with nothing left untouched. Banners and bunting of every colour hung from every post, table and tree. Tables upon tables of delicious food had been laid out with the most gargantuan home made birthday cake (courtesy of Mira) proudly sat in the middle of it all. An enormous pile of gifts had also been laid out, all individually wrapped with little cards to say whom they were from and most importantly, the pool had been filled with all kinds of fun inflatables and toys for all the children to play with.

Lucy looked around in amazement. She couldn't believe they'd gone to so much effort just for a one year old, a child that would unfortunately never remember this, but it didn't matter, she and Natsu would for him. "This is incredible, Natsu! I can't believe you did all this without me!"

"Don't sound too surprised; I can help organise things when I want to. And it wasn't all me, Mira came up with the idea." He looked up to the child above him and chuckled, "You like it, Haru?" The child had no idea what was going on, with no concept of birthdays or parties, he simply cheered anyway, responding to his Daddy's infectious grin, "Good! Well then Luce, let's get this party started!"

With his grin turning evil, he squeezed her hand tight and dived head first into the pool, with no consideration for his, Lucy's or Haru's clothing. She yelped at the top of her voice, her only reply a cackle before being submerged under water, thus setting the mood for the rest of the day.

After a full afternoon of playing with the other children, eating lots of cake and other treats, and opening presents, Haru found himself in the pool once again, this time in more appropriate attire for the water. A pair of cute little lion themed trunks (gifted by Loke), and a cute turtle inflatable ring adorning his middle (a present from Lisanna), made it much easier for him to stay above the surface while enjoying a swim in the water.

Natsu, in his usual flamed swim shorts, also found himself in the pool, diving under and popping back up in random places to surprise the little boy. Haru loved a good game of peek-a-boo, the anticipation of where his Daddy was going to pop up next was just too exhilarating. He squealed and laughed every time he resurfaced, then his eyes would grow wide in anticipation when he dived back down again.

"Gotcha!" Natsu exclaimed, appearing behind the little guy and grabbing his sides. "Does Haru want a go?" He asked, lifting him out of the rubber ring and holding him above the surface with just his hands, letting the infant tread the water to keep himself up, "Look at you! You'll be swimming in no time!"

Lucy watched on from her sun lounger, not remotely amused that the slayer had got her cute dress soaked, or that she now had to lay in just her pastel blue bikini, feeling somewhat self conscious with everyone staring at her exposed belly. She laid comfortably basking in the hot sunlight kissing her skin, trying to catch some semblance of a tan, relaxing while she could. She felt happy, content even, thankful that her symptoms had calmed down just in time for Haru's big day.

It'd been a long time since she'd been able to do this without having to run to the bathroom. With no spell or potion being strong enough to truly rid her of the awful feeling, she'd become well acquainted with the toilet in their house, having spent most of her time with her nose down it. It'd been hard over the last few months adapting to her changing body, her wild mood swings and questionable cravings, but she also knew it would be worth it in the end and it was on days like this, with her friends and loved ones surrounding her that she sincerely felt it.

Smiling to herself, Lucy placed her hand on her small, protruding stomach, feeling the tiny flutterings of the little one moving around inside, "You're an active little one today." She giggled, looking to be talking to herself by onlookers, but she didn't mind. "Then again, you're active everyday."

"Juvia's baby is quite active too, but he's closer to his due date than yours and is much bigger." Juvia said, coming to sit on the next lounger. She cradled her own, much larger bump that'd been covered by a flowy, light green summer dress, finding her regular clothes to form fitting and hot to wear now. "It's quite the feeling when he does somersaults in Juvia's belly."

"He? You're having a boy?" Lucy asked, intrigued to learn more and catch up with her friend.

"Yes, Porlyusica told us the last time we visited. Juvia always imagined she'd have a little boy, maybe watching Haru has something to do with that." She gleamed, looking over to the small fella splashing about in the pool still, having the time of his life with his father.

"I'm so pleased for you! I bet Gray was thrilled!" The blonde exclaimed, knowing he would be.

"Of course! Gray was very pleased. In fact, he made us go out and buy all the boys clothes we could find in the market afterwards. Then he took Juvia home and made-"

"No, it's okay… I don't think I need to know any more!" Lucy felt her cheeks burn red at the very thought.

"Made Juvia dinner…" The water mage finished, furrowing her brows at Lucy's assumption.

"O-Oh… Oops! Sorry Juvia, I thought you were going to say that you guys-"

"Made love? I think those hormones are getting the better of you, Lucy." Cana appeared, wagging her imaginary tail at the slightest mention of sex. "They say you get more horny when you're pregnant. I bet you and Natsu are at it all of the time? Actually, I'm kinda surprised he's not over here right now, with you looking all juicy like that!"

"Cana!" Lucy spluttered, her cheeks burning even more furiously. "You can't say things like that in public!" She didn't want to discuss her sex life in front of others, even if what they were saying was true—when she wasn't heaving of course.

"She's right though, Lucy. Juvia hasn't been unable to keep her hands off of Gray." The blue haired girl reaffirmed, her eyes like love hearts as she thought of her beloved Gray. "And Gray hasn't been able to keep his hands off Juvia, either."

"Wow, looking kinda smug there… You were like that any way…" Cana murmured, shaking her head at the love struck girl.

Well, there went Lucy's relaxing in silence, now she could barely keep from her head exploding—Good ol' Cana! "I don't wanna hear any more!" The celestial mage reiterated, covering her ears for emphasis.

"Oh, come on, Lucy! You're pregnant! That didn't happen by accident! You and Natsu knew exactly what you were doing." Cana retorted, moving herself closer to the flustered girl, her boozy breath permeating the air.

"U-Uh… Well… No, actually. It was kind of an accident…" Lucy admitted, feeling a little awkward by saying that out loud, her friends surprised faces not helping matters, "But it was a good accident!"

"Huh… And here I was thinking you were the cautious type, Lucy… Not that it matters. It's good to let the mood just take ya." Cana grinned, her shock forgotten.

"Don't look so ashamed Lucy, you'll both have another sweet baby to call your own and that's a wonderful thing. I imagine Natsu was over the moon when you both found out." Mira beamed her usual motherly smile as she came to sit near them all, having wanted to get the details on Lucy's pregnancy since earlier, "If Juvia's is a boy, then I bet yours is going to be a girl, Lucy."

"You think so?" The blonde asked back, never having actually considered what the sex would be before, but the thought of having a little girl join the family sounded rather appealing, especially in a house dominated by boys.

"Yes, with Haru as well, we need a little girl to make it more even. And she's gonna have the cutest pink hair and big brown eyes, I can just see it now!" Mira was off in a little world of her own, thinking of blue haired baby boys and pink haired baby girls—she was incorrigible.

"Boy or girl, I just hope that after living in a house full of ravenous beasts, this little one might be more like me. Haru's just a dark haired Natsu, he even laughs like him." Lucy placed her hand where she could feel the little movements of her baby and chuckled down, "But who am I kidding? You've already got your father's energy, that's for sure."

"Hey! Don't say that like it's a bad thing, Luce!" Natsu overheard as he appeared out of no where. "There's nothing wrong with having a mini-me, ain't that right, kid?" He hi-fived the now dry child in his arms, having already dried himself using his magic. "Who cares what they are or who they look like? You'll be in there somewhere, Luce; you're their mother, after all."

"Yeah, you're right." She said, always fascinated by Natsu's simplistic, yet logical way of thinking.

"Any way, it's getting kinda late, I was gonna take Haru somewhere a bit more quiet," Natsu gestured to the current brawl taking place behind him.

"Leaving so soon?" Mira asked, standing to say goodbye to the grizzly birthday boy.

"Yeah, he's all pooped out from the busy day he's had and I think he's ready to go to sleep now. Thanks for organising it, Mira!" He said, before turning swiftly to Lucy, "You coming?"

The bikini clad girl jumped to her feet and stretched her arms up, feeling the tiredness begin to set in, completely unaware of her partners roaming gaze, "Yeah, sure... Just let me put my dress-"

"Lucy! Watch out!" She heard Natsu shout suddenly as she bent to grab the item of clothing.

Feeling herself being pushed back onto the sun lounger, she flailed and reached her arms out to catch herself. Darting her eyes up to see what was going on, she was met with the exposed back of the dragon slayer that had moved to shield her from something. Smoke clouded him and the infant; an unfamiliar heat emanated off of his body. The girl hadn't seen what'd happened, or what she'd been saved from, but if the harsh, heavy breathing of the man in front of her was anything to go by, it was a close call.

"Natsu…" She started, but stalled there after, unsure of what more to say to him.

"What the heck do you think you're doing, you old geezer! Do you have any idea what could've happened just then?!" Natsu bellowed, his voice teeming with rage as his eyes narrowed at the culprit. "You're lucky I was here to catch your stupid attack, or that would've gone straight for Lucy!"

The brawl had come to a complete stand still and Macao, the one that'd thrown a fire ball initially at Wakaba, had gone ghostly pale as the dragon slayer's piercing gaze stared him down. "Hey man, I'm sorry… I didn't even know she was there, it was an accident!" He held his hands up in submission, not wanting to enter into a fight with the maddened slayer, knowing that was one he'd never win. "We got a little carried away, that's all."

"Oh yeah? Maybe I should go all out and see how you like it? Try and dodge this one!" Natsu roared, sending a blazing ball of fury of his own hurtling through the air, aiming it right at Macao's cowering body. Turning hotfooted back to Lucy, the distant cries of the offender being struck by his magic was like music to his ears, his anger satiated.

"Are you hurt, Luce? Did anything hit you?" He did a full search of her body, checking for any kind of injury. His worried eyes eventually fell upon her exposed belly and instinctually brought his hand out to caress it softly, "Is the baby okay?"

Smiling up at him, she brought her own hand to rest on his cheek and pulled him closer, loving just how protective he could be, "Of course, our baby's fine. No need to worry." She guided his palm to where the little one was doing somersaults and allowed him to feel the light pads against his skin.

Unable to keep his infectious grin down for long, he pushed his mouth hastily against Lucy's in a kiss that turned heated all too quickly. Buzzing with adrenaline from the incident, Natsu moved his hand from her belly and tangled his fingers into her hair, holding her in place as he enjoyed the taste of her warm lips.

"That's it, fire breath, you took it too far this time!" He heard Gray shout from behind him, knocking him out of his 'Lucy' trance and pull away, glancing over his shoulder, "Look at what you've done to the pool, you dumbass!" The ice mage pointed to the steaming pit that was once the guilds pool, fuming at the state of it.

"Ha! Looks like you and Juvia are gonna have a fun time filling that back up!" Natsu guffawed, passing the fidgety Haru to Lucy.

"Screw you, Pinky! You're going down!" Gray threatened, launching himself at the fire wizard and starting yet another brawl.

Rolling her eyes, Lucy looked down at the sleepy boy rubbing his tired eyes, and decided to creep away from the fight that just seemed to be attracting more and more people, "Come on then, sweetheart. It looks like Daddy's got himself distracted again." She chuckled, disappearing back inside before anyone had noticed she was gone.

By the time the evening swept in, Lucy had found herself a quiet spot up on a small hill a little ways from the guild, overlooking the lake behind it. She sat cosily against one of the many old oak trees, with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and the baby laid across her chest, begrudgingly, but slowly falling asleep. She hummed her sweet lullaby to soothe her tuckered out child, hoping to coax him into closing his eyes.

It was moments like this that she cherished the most with Haru, just her and him with no one to interrupt. The atmosphere was peaceful and calm, exactly what she was looking for compared to the ruckus that was the guild's 'after' party that continued on down the street. She could even hear the rumble of their antics from where she sat, but luckily, it was pretty muffled, unable to spoil her quietude.

After weeks of staying at home, it sure made a pleasant change to be watching the sunset instead. She'd grown tired and achy after such a busy day, her feet were sore and her head had grown weary, but still she watched contented as the beautiful evening began to fade.

The young mother could finally hear the soft, even breaths of the slumbering child and gently placed him upon her bent up legs, covering him with her blanket to keep him from feeling the chill in the air. Staring at his little angelic features, she found it hard to fathom how drastically her life had changed compared to just twelve months before. She'd grown so much as a person and gained everything she'd ever wanted and more, making new memories along the way.

She and Natsu had unknowingly plunged themselves into a completely new world, taking on the responsibility of an abandoned child and calling him their own. Haru had opened their eyes to a life they never thought they'd get to experience, especially not with each other. The little boy had brought them together in a way that would forever bind them, creating the family unit they were today. It only seemed fitting to name this day as Haru's official birthday, for it was the day his life, and theirs, had begun anew.

Leaning her head back against the tree, becoming lost in her memories, her eyelids began to close, a wave of exhaustion rushing over her while sleep tempted her in. A rustle of a nearby bush was quick to quash that feeling though, as a startled Lucy snapped her eyes wide open and darted her head over to where the sound had come from.

"Oh, Natsu… It's just you…" She breathed, laying her bleary eyes onto that familiar toothy grin and untameable pink hair, a scaly, white scarf to match. "Tell me, what were you doing hiding in the bushes?"

"Looking for you." He said simply, walking out onto the hillside to join her, having deliberately left out the part that he'd been hiding there for much longer than he'd care to admit. In fact, one might say he'd been there the entire time, watching the beauty that was Lucy quietly sing their son to sleep and hadn't wanted to disturb her until she'd finished. "You left, so I had to come find ya."

"Oh, you didn't have to. I just wanted to settle Haru before he started getting grumpy. It's nice and quiet out here." Her voice sounded airy and light, her eyes half lidded and a little bloodshot. "You can go back and join the others if you want, I'm okay." She offered, but Natsu knew better than that, he always did.

"You don't have to pretend for me, Lucy. I can see how tired you are." He'd learnt pretty quickly in the past few months that pregnancy didn't just make her exceptionally sick, but that it had an array of different symptoms, some physical and others emotional, but all unpleasant and incredibly draining for her. "Why would I leave any way, you're all out here?"

"Happy's not."

"Yeah, and Happy's capable of looking after himself. He's too interested in Carla to notice we're even gone. You know what he's like." Natsu explained, scooting closer to Lucy to take the infant from her legs.

He set the baby down in his lap to keep him warm, the fluffy blanket tightly swaddling his body. The two mages cuddled up to one another, watching the twinkling stars come out to glimmer and shine down onto the glistening water in the distance.

"It's crazy to think it's been an entire year since we brought him home. Who knows where we'd be without him here?" Lucy reminisced, her gaze drifting from the moonlit lake, to the baby snoring peacefully without a single care in the world. "Or where his life might've gone, if we hadn't taken him in."

"We'd be what we always were," Natsu stated bluntly, tearing his own gaze away to look at the girl beside him, "Best friends, going on adventures and honestly, that's kinda the sad truth of it all. As for Haru…" He glanced down at his cuddled up son, smiling sadly as he remembered the first time he ever set eyes on the tiny, lifeless baby, that fateful day, "I made a promise to keep him safe; to make sure he lived… He was always going to come with me, there was never another choice. I just didn't know it then."

"And I'll be forever grateful that he did, because..." Lucy cleared her throat, feeling a little emotional at the thought, "Now, I have you and him! And nothing has ever made me happier! Choosing to adopt a child was the most daunting thing I've ever done, but it's proven to be the best decision I've ever made, one I'll always be thankful for." She gave her own toothy smile, a slight tint of pink dusting her cheeks as she poured her heart out to him.

Natsu felt his heart squeeze tight, her words reminiscent of his own feelings and quirked his lips up at her. Reaching his hand forward, he smoothed his fingers through her golden locks, before coming to rest it under her ear, guiding her to him, "Me too, Luce. Which is why…"

Lucy's breathing deepened the closer she got and felt his other hand come up to hold hers tenderly, paying no mind to him fiddling with her fingers, "Which is why, what? Is there something else?" She asked, cocking her head cutely as their breaths began to mingle. "Natsu?" Her eyes fluttered between his dark ones, waiting expectantly for him to finish.

"I… I wanna ask you something." He murmured just before claiming her mouth, connecting their lips in a kiss so sickly sweet, it made Lucy's belly fill with butterflies.

She could have melted into a puddle right then and there, the feel of his affections always had a way of making her turn to goo in his hands. Her spine shivered and the adrenaline buzzed through her system, not having the capacity to comprehend the words that'd been spoken, for her mind had been taken over by the feel of his hot mouth. Letting go of her hand, he snaked his fingers up to the other side of her neck and pulled her closer, craving those sweet cherry lips that he liked to nip at with his teeth.

Her fingers were now free to roam and touch as they pleased, tangling them up through his hair and tugging on the pink strands at the base of his neck. Desperate for breath, she pulled herself away and gazed into his half lidded eyes for mere seconds, before he impatiently delve down to ravish her neck. The sucking and biting just under her ear caused small gasps and whimpers to escape the increasingly aroused celestial mage, her eyes fogging with lust, until something bright caught her attention.

"What was that?" She asked panting, her voice raspy as she tried to catch sight of whatever it was again. It had flickered like a light, shined like a reflection and sparkled all at once, making her wonder if she'd really seen anything at all.

"What was what, Lucy?" He asked her, not meaning to sound quite so unsurprised, when usually he was the first to go looking for trouble.

"I thought I saw…" She didn't really know what she'd seen, her mind too muddled from the heated moment they were having; maybe it was just her eyes playing tricks? Or worse… someone was spying on them.

Natsu clasped at the hand she had buried in his hair and brought it into view, "Was it this, maybe?" He asked, drawing attention to one specific digit.

Feeling the contrast between his warm skin and the cold hardness of something else against her finger, Lucy peered down in curiosity, her breath stalling when her eyes laid upon the object of confusion. Gasping loudly, she clasped at her mouth, two enlarged chocolate orbs flickered between him and her hand in utter astonishment. Somehow, in the midst of their make out session, Natsu had managed to band the most simplistic, yet beautiful ring onto her finger, where it sat proudly and spoke of untold intentions.

"It's… I-It's beautiful! B-But how did you- When-" She stuttered, too lost in what this all might mean, searching deep within his dark eyes for the answers to her silent, but obvious questions.

"That's the right finger, isn't it?" He asked, looking uncharacteristically nervous, a small pink hue dabbing his cheeks. His heart was beating much quicker than he would've liked, hoping he hadn't screwed up already.

That was all she needed to hear to confirm her suspicions, her brown eyes wet with unshed tears, "N-Natsu, I… I don't know what to say-" She couldn't speak, this was too much and he'd not said anything yet.

"Lucy…" He spoke with every sincerity, taking the ringed hand and entwined their fingers. "I'm not so good with this stuff, but I know that getting married is important to you, which makes it important to me, too. I promised you forever and I guess you could say, this is me making good on that promise." He caressed her soft cheek with his thumb and smiled when he saw the glint in her eyes shine back at him. "So, what do you say? Prepared to commit yourself to this," he gestured to himself and winked playfully, "For the rest of your life?"

Finding herself unable to keep her emotions in check, the girl didn't answer, but instead, launched herself at him, giving him barely any time to move the slumbering child out of the way and brace for impact. Landing on top of the winded dragon slayer, she managed to catch herself with her hands and gleamed down at him, tears falling from her eyes and the smile on her face rivalling his. She leant down and connected their lips once again, taking the lead this time, unable to keep her happiness from pouring out.

To the side, still held in Natsu's opened out arm, was Haru, completely unaware of what was going down, his dreams taking him to far off places. His developing sibling in his Mommy's tummy, however, didn't seem quite so pleased, having been wedged between the two loved up adults as they made out under the sea of stars, had decided to take matters into their own hands. With one almighty kick, the kiss came to a quick halt when Lucy groaned and pulled back, grabbing hold of her bump to sooth the sore area.

"Jeez! Was that the baby kicking you? 'Cause even I felt that one!" Natsu looked surprised, amazed that their baby was so strong, at just five months, that he'd been able to feel the force of the kick against his own abdomen. "Is it still hurting, Luce? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, it just shocked me, that's all. They've never been quite that strong before." She chuckled, sitting herself up and straddling his hips as she looked down to her belly, gently caressing it with her thumb, "You were just trying to tell Mommy to move, weren't you?"

Balancing himself up onto his elbow, Natsu also placed his hand on top of Lucy's bump and smirked, "Or maybe, they were just tryin' to get their Mommy to say yes."

"Like you needed an answer!" Quirking her eyebrow up at his smirk, she shifted back a little as he sat himself up against the tree, laying Haru gently next to them while Lucy remained in place, "But you haven't actually asked me anything yet. Who knows what I could be agreeing to? This is you, after all."

The young man chuckled and grinned his thousand watt smile, knowing she'd catch him out eventually, "Alright, have it your way." The mischievous look on his face didn't disappear, even when he tried to take it seriously, "Will you marry me, Lucy?"

She returned his beaming smile with one of her own, glad to have heard it come from his mouth and nodded her head enthusiastically, "Of course, Natsu, the answer was always a yes."

"Good. Can I go back to kissing you now?" He asked, but didn't bother waiting for a reply and went to pull that enticing mouth back in for a third kiss, hoping this time there'd be no more interruptions in the forms of sparkling rings or unimpressed unborn babies.

But just as their lips were about to touch, Lucy paused ever so tantalisingly close to him and furrowed her brows, causing the boy to sigh impatiently, "What is it now?"

"Have you been holding on to that ring all day?" She enquired, only realising now that he must've got it from somewhere.

"Nah, not all day, just the party. I had to ask Happy to go and get it for me while you were distracted with Haru." Natsu explained, scratching the back of his head, "I was gonna do it myself, but stuff happened and then you suddenly showed up."

"Stuff… happened?" Now she was even more curious; what could've gone on in her absence?

"Yeah… them." He shivered still traumatised, pointing over to where Fairy Tail's guild hall stood, still alive and partying, and Lucy understood immediately just what he was referring to, giving her an insight into what she'd unsuspectingly walked in on earlier that day. "So, I had to change up my plans."

"Oh! Why didn't you just do it tomorrow instead? Rather than make it difficult for yourself." She asked, feeling a little smug when she saw the light go on in his brain.

She'd stumped him there. Always the brains of the operation, he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of that. He'd wanted to do it on a day that meant something to the both of them, but really, did it matter? The result would've been the same.

Noticing her cocky smirk and the playfulness in her eyes, he rose to the challenge, a fire in his belly, "Because, Miss Know-it-all, today was special, just like you said… And it wasn't difficult… I had it all under control…"

"Uh-huh…" She watched him become a little fidgety as if he weren't quite telling the truth and her smirk widened into a smug, toothy grin, "So you were just pretending to be scared when Erza was threatening you? I get it."

His eyes were sharp and intense, just like they were in battle, the one sided grin to boot as he bore into her playful expression, "Your playing with fire, Lucy…" His voice dangerous and brimming with cockiness.

"Then let it burn." She whispered close to his ear, barely able to get the words out before she found herself being forced onto her back, her hands held down above her head, with a fired up dragon slayer carefully leant over her form.

"You asked for it!" He growled, gulping down a large breath as he connected his mouth to the sensitive skin of her neck, torturing her senses with his loving but fierce embrace.

#nalu #nalu fanfiction #fairy tail nalu #nalu baby #nalu child #natsu dragneel #natsu lucy #fairy tail natsu #fairy tail #fairytail #fairy tail lucy #fairy tail 100 year quest #fairy tail fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #nalu fanfic #fanfiction writing #lucy heartfilia #Natsu and Lucy #natsu x lucy

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Twenty-Five - Kintsugi

Kintsugi - Kintsugi (金継ぎ, "golden joinery"), also known as kintsukuroi (金繕い, "golden repair"),[1] is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum, a method similar to the maki-e technique.

Wikipedia

He woke up in his bed, disoriented, wondering how he had gotten there in the first place. The last thing he remembered was being…

“I’m not going anywhere.”

The memories came all at once, flooding his senses, and he had no choice but to painfully relive every single one of them in his mind: the lawsuit, Mina’s death and funeral, his fight with Andrea, the glass hitting the wall, his panic attack. His wife’s hand, lovingly squeezing his, lighting his way back to sanity.

His son, crying, scared to lose yet another parent, called the paramedics. Victor recalled, in the middle of his mental chaos, being put on an oxygen mask and told to breathe, but the fact that he now had strangers witnessing his meltdown only made him panic more. Eventually, he was given an injection, as Andrea’s coaxing was no longer enough to have him relax. After the paramedics were sent away by her, she took him to bed, but not before helping him change his sweat-drenched clothes. He could remember how helpless he was, his body soft and useless, his eyes too heavy to be kept open. Andrea carefully laying him in bed.

“Stay.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

He looked outside the bedroom window, it was already dark. He wondered if Andrea had already gone to bed, but he already knew the answer. Just like he refused to sleep before he put the glass back together, she would stay put until she saw all of his pieces back in place, sturdy and strong. No matter how hard her fingers bled.

Victor wondered how many times did a glass have to break to be deemed irreparable. He felt like the glass on his desk, ugly and useless, unable to hold anything. He wondered if she would see that in him, now that he had shown her his weak side. He wondered if she would regret spending the time trying to fix him. He heard the whiskey glass hitting the wall, and saw the frightened look on her face, all over again. He had committed an unforgivable sin. And still, she held his pieces.

Victor jumped off his bed and walked to the kitchen to get some water. Part of him wanted her to be there, he didn’t want to be alone. But at the same time, another part wished she had become wiser and just left him. He couldn’t make her happy, he was too broken. And he was afraid eventually he would break her too. Broken glasses don’t stand in the cupboard like the others. They are disposed of. That’s what he deserved.

But not what he got.

She looked spent, her dark circles standing out on her fair complexion, her curls disheveled and held in an updo with a pencil, some kind of voodoo only Andrea could accomplish. She was focused on her laptop screen, occasionally typing with one hand, the other touching her forehead, like she always did when she felt overwhelmed. She looked like a fragile crystal, the slightest vibration enough to shatter her.

“You’re awake.” She was startled by his presence. “How are you feeling?”

“You’re here.” You shouldn’t be. I’m a waste of your time.

“Of course I am.” She got up, turning to the stove, opening the pot standing there. “It’s late, Owen already had dinner and went to bed, but I have some stew for you. You should eat.”

Owen. Victor recalled again his frightened voice, panicking on the phone. He could only imagine how that small child had spent his day: anxious, scared, traumatized, worried about his father, who was too weak to keep it together. “You just have to make a scene, don’t you?” He heard his father’s voice again.

“How is he?”

“He was scared at first, but I told him you were still processing what happened.” She gave him a faint smile. “He’s really insightful for his age, I think he understood.”

“What about your trip?” You should stay away from me. Both of you will be happier away from me.

“I canceled it. You are unwell, we can go some other time.”

Victor’s stomach turned with self-loathing. Worse than any insult was the thought of someone staying by his side because he was weak, especially if he didn’t deserve the sympathy.

“You should go. I’m fine.” Victor turned to the door, wanting to get away from Andrea as fast as possible. The sight of what he had and what he had lost was simply unbearable.

“I already told you I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Victor.”

The statement felt like a heavy rock falling into a pond, agitating the waters inside him. Victor froze in place, unsure of how to answer. He loved her more than anything, but he didn’t deserve another chance. It was clearly over between them, yet he couldn’t say it. He was a coward. Tears started rolling down his face, as he stood in silence, his back turned to her, keeping his distance, but also selfishly refusing to release her.

For the second time that day, loving hands held the back of his neck, pulling him to a warm embrace, and then all hell broke loose. Tears quickly turned into hysterical sobs, as emotions broke out of him like a tsunami, spilling all over. He leaned against his wife and accepted her reassurance, even though he knew he shouldn’t get it. If only he could have her forgiveness.

“I’m sorry.” He croaked as the retching sobs made his legs wobble, making him kneel on the floor. “I’m so sorry.”

Victor wasn’t sure who he was really apologizing to, there was so much unsaid in his heart. Maybe it was to his mother, for not being the child that she wanted, the one that would make her stay. Or perhaps he was apologizing to Mina, for not honoring like she deserved, for not saying he loved her or holding her hand in her last moments. But mostly, he was apologizing to Andrea. For disappointing her. For not being the kind loving man she believed him to be all along.

All at once, Victor was an adult and a child, and both were crying in Andrea’s arms. A memory of long before came to mind. The smell of polished wood and silver, the echo of the large hallway, suitcases on the floor. His child self, holding his mother, fighting the tears. The words he wouldn’t say to her came, at last, twenty years later, for the love of his life.

“Please don’t leave me.” He sobbed. “Please.”

Her embrace tightened.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Her arms felt like a loving home, where he could be safe. Her voice was so sweet in his ears, her hands so warm in his back, her heartbeat so soothing. So, for the first time in decades, Victor decided to surrender, lay down the sword and simply stop fighting. He held onto her and cried, facing the storm of his emotions, hoping he would come out whole in the end. He just felt so tired. Surrendering seemed to be his only option.

Victor cried enough for a lifetime. All that was inside him, thirty years’ worth of pain erupted in hysterical sobs, landing as salty water on Andrea’s sweater, and he couldn’t stop it. He cried of fear for his kidnapping, of sadness for his mother’s departure, of anguish for her and Mina’s death. He cried for all those times he felt utterly lonely and unloved, for all those times he felt angry for being unable to draw people closer. For all his moments of self-loathing and despair. By the time he was done, he was exhausted. And scared. Scared that if he let her go, he would lose her forever. Afraid that if she stopped holding his broken pieces, he would fall to the ground to never get up.

So Victor simply lingered on Andrea’s embrace, wanting to enjoy a little more of her tenderness, as he knew it would be short-lived.

“We need to talk.” She announced, and Victor promptly left her arms, sitting against the kitchen island, creating the necessary distance. He prepared himself for the worse.

“I’m sorry for the glass.” He blurted out, fearing he would lose his courage if he waited for too long. “I hate that you saw this side of me.”

“What side?” She frowned.

“My ugly side.” His voice tightened. “But I need you to know I could never hurt you that way. I would never do that to you.”

“I know that!” She hurried to answer. “I do, it’s just…” She trailed off with a long sigh.

You can’t live with a violent man. Just say it.

“I pushed you into it. It was a cheap blow to mention your parents.”

Victor turned his eyes to her in surprise.

“I know you didn’t mean it, I-”

“Could you just listen?” She interrupted him.

Victor turned his eyes to the ground, obediently waiting for her to continue.

“I was hurt. And furious. I wanted you to hurt as much as I was, so I used something that you shared with me in our intimacy, knowing fully well how deep it would go, forgetting that you were acting that way because you were hurting too.”

Victor sighed, at a loss for words. How could he hold anything against her? None of them had acted in an honorable way.

“I have an ugly side too.” She muttered.

Silence filled the kitchen again, and Victor stared at Andrea’s hand, wanting to take it. There was so much he wanted to tell her, but he feared he wasn’t entitled to anymore, or that more words would just lead to more strife. He was done bruising her, he had done so much of that already.

“Victor… I really want things to be well again.”

The words caught up in his throat. He wanted it too, more than anything. But he wasn’t entitled to ask.

“Look, I know that you have been through a lot, and I can’t possibly imagine what you are feeling right now.” She jumped, kneeling in front of him, her hand taking his, while her eyes gazed at his earnestly. “And I know you are not the kind of guy that goes around talking about feelings, and I don’t need you to… That is something you should do at your own pace.”

Victor’s heartbeat quickened, wondering what she would say next. He desperately needed to make amends, he desperately needed her by his side, he desperately needed her consent in holding her and having her again. At this point, whatever she asked, he would do. He loved his light, and he needed her, like he needed air to breathe.

“But you need to know, no, you need to acknowledge I’m here. Because I am, and I always will be. I need you to know that, even if we disagree, I won’t leave your side. And if you fall, even if you don’t hold on to me, I will hold on to you, do you understand? I’ll never let go of you.”

His fingers caressed hers, so small in comparison.

“The only reason I mentioned that trip was because I felt my presence was hurting you. Victor, for the last few days, all I wanted was to be by your side, to love you and support you. I don’t even care about our fights, or what was said, we should stick together no matter what!” She squeezed his hand tighter. “This is the closest I have been to you in days! I missed you!”

Victor couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled her to his arms and kissed her, with an urgency of someone who had been starving for love for days. When he broke the kiss, he held her tightly, his face buried in the nape of her neck, wanting to have as much from her as he could.

“I missed you too.” He spoke against her skin.

“Are we ok?”

“I want us to be.”

She smiled at him, and that’s when he noticed. While he had been crying, she had been crying too.

“I’m sorry.” He hurried to apologize again, seeing the full effects of his actions on the woman he loved. “I will be better, I will never hurt you like this again. I promise.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” She caressed his bangs. “This is something we both do, you know.”

He watched her shift in place as she seemingly organized her thoughts.

“Do you remember when we came back from Switzerland?”

He remembered, yes. Her being in unbearable pain, pushing him away, while he tried to comfort her. And then it dawned on him. He had done the same.

“You and I are not that different.” She let out a sad chuckle. “We both need to be in control, to always keep our feelings in check, so we bottle them up. But we are a couple now, we are not alone anymore. We should learn to depend on each other. Do you think you can do that? Can you trust me enough for that?”

“I trust you with my life, Andy.” He was an idiot. He let all of his childhood insecurities take so much relevance these days, that he actually forgot the woman he was married to. He didn’t need her to tell him she loved him and she would always be there for him, he knew she was loyal. He knew she loved him. How could he have forgotten that?

“Wait, I have an idea.” She broke free from his arms, taking out her wedding ring.

“What are you doing?” He frowned, confused.

“Give me yours.” She instructed. “Here’s mine.”

Victor removed his wedding ring, handing it to her. She took his left hand and inserted the wedding band halfway through his ring finger.

“We keep talking about renewing our wedding vows, but you know what? We shouldn’t do it when things are easy. We should do it when things are hard.”

Victor watched her take a solemn deep breath before speaking again.

“I, Andrea, renew my commitment to you, Victor. My love for you grows with each day, and I truly believe we can overcome whatever comes our way, as long as we are together.” She lifted her eyes to him. “And I am sorry I hurt you. I love you more than I can possibly say. You are the love of my life.”

Victor smiled as he saw her gently gazing at him with affection in her eyes. And miraculously, all of his shards were put back together again. He took her hand, hoping he would be able to convey what was in his heart.

“I, Victor, renew my commitment to you, Andrea. You are the light of my life. I promise to always keep my eyes on you, and search for you when in need. I have no other place to be, but beside you.” He felt a few tears coming again. “And I am sorry. I’m sorry I ignored you.”

“For better or worse, we are in this together.” She affirmed, her eyes locked on his.

“For better or worse, we are in this together.” He promised with all his heart.

He pulled her to his lap, kissing her lips, their bodies pressed against each other in a warm hug, Victor losing himself in their embrace. Their bodies fit beautifully together. Sometimes they would hold each other so close that Victor could no longer tell where her skin began and his ended, so perfectly united that they truly felt like one.

It reminded him of Kintsugi. Golden leaf and glass shards are useless apart but when united with the patience only real love can bring, they can make beautiful art. It was indeed a fitting analogy. Andrea held his pieces together and made him whole. Patiently, she had picked each one of his shards, unfazed by the cuts they brought, and put them all together.

His wife chuckled against his chest, and it was the most beautiful sound in the world. To hear Andrea laugh once again, while being held by him, was priceless.

“What is it?” He couldn’t help but chuckle as well. Her laughter was contagious.

“The time we spent planning where we would renew our wedding vows, and we ended up doing it on our kitchen floor.” She laughed.

“Well, we did want it to be meaningful.” He smiled, playing with one of her curls. “No place is more meaningful than this. We spent most of our happy moments in this kitchen.”

“Well, if we follow that line of thought, next year we could use the bedroom.” She smiled back.

“I said happy, not lewd.” He poked her nose, making her laugh again. “Any place will do, as long as you are there.”

“I feel the same.” She sighed, motioning to get up. “Maybe we should get up from the floor, you must be hungry and your buttocks must be getting numb.”

“We will in a minute.” He pulled her against him again. “Just a little while longer.”

She leaned against his chest, arms circling his waist, and he held her back, again marveled at how flawlessly they fit. He kissed her neck, lingering on her skin, taking a bit more of her scent. He held her as tight as he could, drinking from her love, letting her gold seep through his cracks.

Author's Note: This project has been going for a year now (it started in February 2020) and it won't be over any time soon, so I would like to ask you, as much as possible, for your support, because we still have a very long way to go. So, if you enjoy the work, don't forget to comment and reblog. It gives it traction and enables other people to learn about it, and for me to get more excited about what I do.

#victor mldd #angsty victor #mlqc victor #love and producer fanfic #li zeyan #Growing Pains - Series #growingtogether #victor x oc

[gstqaobc]

💜💜💜HI FROM PG💜💜💜

💜💜💜HI FROM PG💜💜💜

Hello there everybody! I thought I would send a message or a post and just let you all know that I miss you and I miss being a very active part of Skippy‘s blog!!

I had my second vaccination the Astrazeneca on Tuesday and had my doctor assessment yesterday and my arm is getting better it’s still is not 100% so I am taking it low and slow and using the dictation software. I know so many of you have left messages such kind words of love and support and I really really really appreciate them! And I want to say a special message to💜🙏🏻💜 CHERUB, 💜🙏🏻💜you know that you are  in my  prayers every single day. Jesus is with you he will never leave you or for sake you no matter what happens. I will be back probably in another week I think with if my arm continues as it is progressing.

Now I have a few things I wanna say about what’s happening here first I wanna say the visit to Scotland was a rousing success and as usual our Catherine slayed Fashion wise and interpersonal skills wise! I saw someone write a comment that they didn’t like her in the brown and the khaki but I had commented a couple of weeks ago when she wore that beautiful camel coloured coat that I wish she would wear browns and taupes more often so I was just elated to see her wear those long wide leg pants that were hemmed exactly as they should be not dragging on the ground! I just think that this couple can do no wrong and they both very well for the future! Now I am not biased by my affection for the Cambridge is at all ha ha Ha! By the way I received my Hold Still book this week and I also received from Royal Mail Her Majesty’s at 95th birthday stamp first day cover and coin which was reasonably price I think £20? Anyhow the book is very substantial and because of my left arm being the way it is I have yet to be able to look at it because it’s quite heavy and it is a huge book, but I am looking forward to the day when I can hold it and I can enjoy looking at the pictures! Again I say Catherine kudos to you on your fabulous projects! Catherine I also wonder if you’re stealing my word wowza because when you met with Mila for tea, you said wowza as she showed her dress twirling. I’m wondering are you borrowing from PG?? Aka me?? 😂😂😂🤣🤣Catherine you are most welcome to share the word while that I think we are the only two people on the planet that still say it ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

OK now onto our Harry. Heads together in the UK and many other mental health organizations around the world are doing fabulous work. CBT or cognitive behavioural therapy, cognitive restructuring, EDMR, Hipnosis, that’s spelt wrong but hey I’m dictating hypnosis is spelled HYPNO either we go anyhow those are all legitimate therapies done when they’re done by trained professionals! One thing that has always driven me crazy about Oprah and Dr. Phil who is her who is her surrogate,  is they do mumbo-jumbo therapy on tv and have people share their just horrific interpersonal stories with an audience and a television audience! It just it just sickens me to make people so vulnerable for attention and ratings and money and advertising! When I saw Harry doing the tapping and whatever I just felt whether he was doing it for real or whether he’s towing the line as I believe it is just so wrong to show somebody at their most vulnerable!! It just sickens me.

However let’s let us ask ourselves why is this happening now? When ‘her’, l will continue to use the descriptor ‘her’ was doing all the talking a.k.a. lying because every time her lips move we know she’s lying and now she’s been silent. But for the last well since about the time that the Duke of Edinburgh passed away Harry allegedly has flown back to the to the United States where apparently he’s lived for two years one article said which surprises me but anyways what what’s truth and in articles. And he has been everywhere good morning America that all these Apple things with Oprah and celebrities and doing this and that and the other all for mental health!

You know sometimes it’s too much of a good thing. There’s a lot of excellent organizations in Canada there’s a CMH a Canadian mental health Association all over the world. But this constant stream of video and him in our face that’s not normal and the things he saying or lies and their provable lies that they’re not difficult at all. This is NOT NORMAL! IT IS A DELIBERATE OVERSATURATION FILLED WITH SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES IN THE VIDEOS, TRUST ME, SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES IN ADVERTISING IS REAL. TAKE A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO A FASHION MAGAZINE AND LOOK CLOSELY. YOU WILL BE AMAZED WHAT IS EMBEDDED IN THEM. JUST LIKE THE DISNEY VIDEOS THAT WERE SHOWN TO HAVE ADULT DRAWINGS.

In knowing Harry’s dedication to his Queen, his grandmother and his grandfather why on earth would he pick the first few days after the funeral to dig in like this and go so public? Why? We really must ask ourselves why? I will tell you why he is continuing to expose evil! There are all kinds of organizations that I’m not gonna name any “churches” some start with the letter S which many celebrities are members of Tom C is one. These organizations manipulate people and just like the NIXVM did in Canada. These backers are evil people and they’re willing to use people for anything in anyway at any purpose. The last picture I saw of Harry it was a video but I didn’t watch the video he looks so pale and so gaunt and so unwell that even though I believe he is doing the right thing and exposing all this and eventually hopefully eventually this will wrap up with him being free and everyone brought to justice let’s hope and pray, this is taking a terrible toll on him an absolute terrible toll. I have to again harken back to London scoop, everything has come to pass that she foretold way back several years ago when she came upon this information about this plot. I did a post one post last week where I propose the thought that the plot to integrate the British royal family began in the 1990s with princess Diana and I still believe that. I don’t know all the reasons or who the people would be but things things are just smelling very funny very very funny and I don’t mean funny as in laughter I mean funny as an off off off off!!!

So I say let us continue to pray for our Queen her family pray for the Cambridges, that they all stay safe and healthy the whole family to especially pray for Harry, whether do you think he’s doing his duty or you think he’s fallen under her trap and has become some whimpering child, pray for him all the more then because he needs it. If you really believe that he is he is doing this on his own free will because he’s mesmerized by her or he is woke and has become part of the woke world my goodness he needs more prayer than ever! To be released from these bondages!!

OK kids that’s my more than my two cents worth! As you all know it’s never one word thing with me I am very elaborative! I miss you all miss you and you all know who you are! Take care sending you all my love and prayers, PG!! I beg you all please don’t forget about me because I shall return I shall return!

To my dear Skippy, thank you for always being there. Thank you for relay messages. Most especially thank you for this safe space, your friendship and your prayers.

To my MM Anon/ Kensington Anon, thank you so much for your kind messages of love and support I have really appreciated it. I just feel like I’ve let everybody down by not being able to do the stories about the Cambridges. But I shall return soon hopefully in a week I’ll see how my arm is but it’s getting better hopefully in a week. I hope this finds you well, I hope you read this I don’t know if you ever checked my blog but if you do you will see this here.

💜🙂🙏🏻✝️💟PG💟✝️🙂🙏🏻💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

#@skippyv20 @sandiedog