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suhnshinehaos · 22 days

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growing pains : interlude ii

series synopsis : people say that you’ll experience three kinds of love in your lifetime. the first is an idealistic love, the kind that feels straight out of a fairy tale. the second is the hard love, the kind that will leave you with lessons about yourself and the love you want and need to experience. finally, the love you never see coming. this is the story of your three loves. pairing : svt 97 line x gn!reader genre/s : non-idol au, coming of age, angst, fluff, my attempts at humor interlude two wc : ~1.1k

interlude ii ➤ live well

" and i know it's fine to end our time be safe, be true, and i'll think of you " from palace's live well

previous ➤ act three, part sixteen next ➤ act three, part seventeen growing pains ➤ masterlist

“gyu, i swear to god if you get drunk i’m not carrying you back to your hotel.”

mingyu laughs, loud and unrestrained, his head thrown back and his eyes screwed shut, and it hits you just how much you missed the sound. or really, just how much you missed him. you tilt your head to the side, a small smile creeping up the corners of your mouth as you take a sip of your drink.

“it wouldn’t be the first time.” he speaks through his chuckles, shaking his head, and his eyes meet yours. for a moment, you have the same thought, and he’s the one to actually say it out loud. “this is nice.”

and it really is.

there was once a time when you couldn’t even imagine being in the same room as him, just the two of you, laughing like there hadn’t been years of shared history between the two of you. for a second, a memory flashes across your mind; the feeling of his arm slung across your shoulders, his alcohol laced breath mixing in with his cologne, muttering a drunken string of words that you couldn’t quite make out.

and you look at the mingyu in front of you, cheeks flushed and a look of complete contentment now settled on his features.

“crazy how life just,” you pause, and eventually sigh out- “works out, huh?”

under the pale moonlight, in a city both of you are relatively unfamiliar with, mingyu has never felt closer to you than he does now. strangely enough, it all feels right. he nods, “crazy. everything that happened had to have happened.”

a silence settles between the two of you, but not tense nor uncomfortable, as memories of the last couple of years, and eventually the last couple of months, fill both your senses. mingyu scans your face, noting for any signs of unease from being with him.

mingyu finds none, which makes him let out a breath of relief.

cutting through the silence, you ask a question you’ve been meaning to ask him for a while.

“are you happy, gyu?”

you didn’t mean for the question to be so loaded but, in a way, you only knew so much. you saw him every now and then, when he came to visit you, jeonghan, vernon, and soonyoung for a couple of days. you saw his instagram stories and twitter posts, travelling around the world, meeting new people, walking runways, booking several editorials.

“i am.” he lets out a breath and you see the tension in his shoulders fall, looking up to the clear night sky then back at you. “god it feels good to finally say that out loud, and actually mean it. you know?”

you blink back at him for a couple of seconds, it seemed like it was something he was just acknowledging himself, but a smile spreads across your face. “i’m so happy for you.”

and you mean it, with every fiber of your being.

just like that, you notice how much he has changed since your college days. gone is the tense, hesitant mingyu that you had once come to know. the one that lied on the other side of your bed in your apartment in new york, the one with the permanent crease between his brows. you see him now, calm and confident, and secure in himself. you had caught glimpses of it before, but now it radiates through him, engulfing you in his light.

“you seeing someone?” the words tumble out of your lips before you couldn’t even process them. curiosity got the better of you, and before you could take it back he simply shakes his head.

“ah no, i go on dates sometimes, but nothing that ever really lasted.”

you nod, and mingyu continues.

“and that’s okay, you know? i’ve just been doing eyes, heart, and arms wide open. being honest with myself and what it really is what i want, whether it’s in my professional or personal life. if things don’t work out, at least i can say i did my best. it took a while for it to feel sincere, and not like i’m just forcing myself to do it for the sake of it, but i’m happy with myself.”

his voice grows softer as he ends his little ramble, and you part your lips to tell him that you’re proud of him, but he beats you to the punch.

“you taught me that, you know?” he smiles, “i mean, if we hadn’t gone through what we did- not like i’m saying that you were in my life just for a lesson because i really do value you as a friend, and as a person-”

“no, i- i get it, gyu.” you cut off his rambling with a quiet laugh, noticing his eyes become bigger and more panicked.

he lets out an exaggerated breath of relief and holds a hand over his heart. “what about you, yn? are you happy?”

your mind briefly flashes to reuniting with your maple drive friends, to the friends you’ve made at work, being able to see jeonghan, soonyoung, and hansol more often, to the shoots you’ve done and the work you’ve accomplished.

from all the stress you’ve gone through from moving so far away from home, from struggling to book shoots when you were freelancing after graduated, to where you are now.

a wave of peace washes over you, and you think of tea in the mornings and farmer’s market runs in the afternoon and impromptu shoots at night.

mingyu didn’t near to hear your answer, he simply just knew.

he silently raises his glass and you do the same, clinking them together and downing the rest of your drinks.

“continue to live well, yn.” he says gently, sincerely, looking right into your eyes so you knew he meant every word.

you reach out a hand across the table rest your hand atop mingyu’s, “you too.”

he glances at his watch and notices the time, “i should get you back to jihoon, he was already hesitant to let you go with me since you’ve got an early flight tomorrow.”

mingyu settles the tab, ignoring your insistence to pay your share, and you walk back towards your hotel. your shoulder brushes against his, and it doesn’t make his heart flutter in the way it used to. it simply reminds him that you’re still there, walking next to him, and for all his shortcomings, you were still in his life.

if anything, he was simply just grateful.

even more so when you wrap your arms around him before entering the elevator, hugging him tighter as you whispered, “i’ll see you soon.”

mingyu’s lips stretch into a grin as he waves goodbye and the elevator doors close, “i’ll see you soon.”

from reese, with love <3

oh yngyu.... ngl i choked up a lil writing that "i'll see you soon" aaaah they are so dear to me. at first i didn't know if i wanted to give gyu the seokmin treatment and give him a potential new partner, but if there's something i want you guys to takeaway from this, it's that romantic love isn't the be all-end all. if you happen to find it, wonderful! bec romantic love is a wonderful thing! but finding love within yourself, the company you keep, and the work you do is just as wonderful- and i'm glad this version of mingyu gets to have that :)

thank you for reading! asks/rbs/replies are always appreciated, i'd love to know what you think <3 hope you're all doing well!

#🎐 — growing pains!#seventeen x reader #minghao x reader #mingyu x reader #seokmin x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen smau #seventeen series #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt fluff #svt smau #svt series #minghao imagines #minghao fluff #minghao smau

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months

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Izutsumi character study

#dungeon meshi #izutsumi #One of my goals for this year was to spend more time doing art studies.#What better way to start than with my favourite danmeshi character (not seen: a whole page of figuring out her features)#I feel like she is by far one of the most poorly understood characters in the series. Partially due to her 'late party member' status.#'She's abrasive and mean' - 'she's a picky eater' - 'she's a catgirl who acts like an asshole cat ' YES and that is the point!#Everyone in dungeon meshi is traumatized and messy about it but izutsumi is just less polite in how she tries to cope.#Izutsumi is a extremely traumatized teenager who has utterly lacked autonomy her entire life.#She is the epitome of a “If I can just have X thing then all my problems will be solved!” character. And the X is 'Freedom'.#Her epilogue was one of the best and wrapped up her character so wonderfully (WARNING: I WILL NOW SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING)#Because she finally gets her freedom! She can go where she wants to and she doesn't need anybody! Yet...it doesn't fix her.#She is so focused on doing only what she wants that she forgets her own needs. Sometimes you have to eat the things you don't want.#And sometimes you have to face the hard truths that you need more than just one thing to make you happy.#Life is not all about only seeking pleasures and avoiding pain. You need to be balanced in order to grow.#Eat your vegetables (including the metaphorical ones: I am eating more art veggies this year by doing art studies!!!)

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aq2003 · 8 months

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ten

#i have series 4 on my computer now. but i have not started it. i am scared of it.#tenth doctor #dr who #ten is so he is soooooo. god. the doctor is so very defined by his loneliness. how he outlived everyone he cared abt #and what i love so much about nine is that you see him growing closer to rose. letting himself be happy #and post-timewar and losing all of his people (and blaming himself/being responsible for it?) that's so important for him to have #ten is like the opposite of this. he was created out of nine's love and sacrifice for rose. his personhood is basically defined by it #so you have his memories of losing his people in the timewar clashing with his inherent need to Be Next To Someone.#so losing people just breaks him. even after nine (ten? does timewar doctor count?) previous lifetimes of seeing death #when i saw ten's wiki blurb w him being described as one of the most human doctors. after watching christmas invasion i was like. 'what'#But Now I Know. they were talking about how he feels grief and pain so acutely. in a way a human might and not a 900y/o near immortal alien #10 era

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luck-of-the-drawings · 26 days

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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

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cits-kirby-brainrot · 1 year

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Wings

#kirby series #galacta knight #morpho knight #mama morpho #baby galacta #baby preening! baby is getting wings!#headcanons that gala started growing wings like SUPER early #too early for a puffball #growing pains coupled with a squirmy toddler = fussy child #but Morpho loves him all the same!#my stuff

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bonefall · 7 months

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Jesus Christ. I've never read Yellowfang's Secret and it's insane to me that what we see of Lizard is supposed to be "evil woman" like from the screenshots you posted this is really and truly someone who is being forced to bear children. Forced to care for them. Lashing out that her husband can keep doing his job and she has to drop everything to care for children she didn't want. And that horrible shit from Ragged oh my God dude.

It's SO fucked up!! That exchange with Hollyflower is HORRIFYING!!!

Like, during the Brokenkit Handoff, she's shouting about not wanting to raise every unwanted kit and how badly she hates this, only for Raggedstar to start bellowing at her to shut her mouth. He's able to "convince" her based on on "ambition" they slapped onto the character in that moment, but when you really step back and look at the context, it just reads like she realizes she has no fucking choice

She's the only queen in the nursery. There was no "saying no"

Especially not to the deputy

NO ONE cares about Lizardstripe as a person, even though she's obviously really uncomfortable about being forced to birth and raise children

"I know she doesn't want this. That's too fucking bad. It's her duty as a woman" -Sagewhisker

I can't get over it. This book doesn't treat her like a person, it treats her like a bad vessel. She's a horrible mother because she DOESN'T WANT THIS, and the narrative condemns her, even partially blames her for A BABY-KILLING TYRANT, because she wasn't happy about the situation she was forced into.

Like... jesus christ!!

#Maybe if the woman forced through birth smiled and acted like a good mother then the Baby-Eating Tyrant wouldn't have ate so many babies #mind you this is in the series where they've gone to great. painful lengths to stress that adoption is Bad and inferior to bio-birth #characters like gray wng raise their children from birth with no knowledge of their bioparents and the kits STILL grow up more connected--#--to their wifebeating bioparents.#You can be the ideal adoptive parent and they'll still grow up desperate to prove something #but it's lizardstripe's fault that Broken didn't feel loved enough??? When he still had his other parent??? fuck offffff #Can we PLEASE have sympathy for a person who's in an awful situation with no help obviously lashing out because it's the ONE thing she has #agency over??#Like of course none of these poor kids deserve this #But lizardstripe DOESN'T EITHER

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moon-witchs-world · 1 year

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Growing Pains - Remus J. Lupin

Growing Pains – part one

A Hogwarts Tale

Remus Lupin x Fem!WitchReader

2,8k words

Summary: In 1994 both reader and Remus Lupin are newly appointed teachers at Hogwarts, school of witchcraft and wizardry. They meet again after 13 years, when they last saw each other at the very same school. Remus struggles with his secret being shared with the full staff and Y/N struggles with feelings she has for a certain someone.

This is part one of a multiple part series.

Masterlist

You saw him at exactly the same moment he saw you. Thirteen years had gone by ever since you saw him, in this same castle before you both went your separate ways. You were pleased to notice he hadn’t changed much. Sure, he had gotten older, just like yourself, but you would recognize those green eyes and kind smile everywhere. Remus Lupin was standing by himself, surrounded by the other teachers, some of whom were your own teachers during your time at Hogwarts.

As soon as Remus caught your eyes, he smiled and quickly approached you. He seemed happy to see a familiar face.

When he got closer you noticed he had definitely changed more than you assumed at first. His eyes, still kind and friendly, were lined and his face was covered in scars. His clothes were old and repaired at different places.

‘Y/N L/N? What a pleasant surprise to see you here,’ he said after he placed his hand on yours for a moment.

‘Or did you end up changing your last name?’ he added with a grin. His comment made your blood freeze. You shook your head in response.

‘It’s just L/N. How are you, Remus. I wasn’t expecting you here.’

His grin turned into a proper smile.

‘Really? I always assumed you would marry your high school sweetheart as soon as you left Hogwarts as Head Boy and Head Girl.’

You didn’t respond right away. Maybe lying would be easier, but then again, the truth always came out and you weren’t looking forward to having explain why you lied about such a crucial part of your life story. Something that had changed you forever.

‘We did actually. Get married,’ you said softly, hoping no other person but Remus would hear your words. His eyes widened, observing you with a puzzled look in his eyes, as if he was trying to solve a mystery.

‘You got divorced.’

‘He died.’

Remus took a step back, creating more space between the two of you and you immediately wish you never told him. His smile had disappeared as easily as it had appeared and he looked at you with worry written all over his face.

‘I’m so sorry I asked, Y/N. I had no idea.’ He extended his hand, but never let his fingers touch you. Instead he let them float in the air, as if he was not sure where to put them.

‘It’s okay, Remus. It happened five years ago. He got into an accident at work,’ you explained with a weak smile. The widow part of your life story was always a bit awkward to discuss and you tried to avoid talking about it whenever it was possible.

‘I didn’t know you were a professor,’ you mentioned casually, desperate to change the subject but at the same time genuinely surprised.

‘I’m actually new here. Starting tomorrow as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor.’ He said this with a proud smile.

‘We have that in common. Not the Defence part, but I start tomorrow as well. Charms.’

‘Obviously,’ he said matter-of-factly. You raised your eyebrows in question.

‘I remember you were an excellent student, even for a Ravenclaw. Professor Flitwick used to rave about your spell work all the time,’ he explained. You averted your gaze when you felt your cheeks burning.

‘It’s only natural you take over from him during his sabbatical,’ he added. Professor Dumbledore had contacted you personally to ask whether you would be willing to return to Hogwarts to teach Charms for a year while Professor Flitwick was away travelling. You felt deeply honored he even considered you and replied by returning owl you would love the job. It was very different from your usual work at the Ministry, where you had been working for the Department of Magical accidents and catastrophes. But Remus was right, your spell work was impeccable.

‘You weren’t a bad student yourself, Remus, you were a prefect as well.’

He chuckled and shook his head.

‘Dumbledore mainly made me a prefect so I could keep my friends in order. I was weak of course and let them misbehave all the same while conveniently looking the other way,’ he said with a smile on his face. You laughed at his comment.

‘What have you been up to after graduating? I can’t believe we never crossed paths again,’ you asked him. His expression changed and he averted his eyes. But he never answered, for you were interrupted.

‘Lupin. Seeing you here is living proof the headmaster is very desperate to fill the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts professor to let someone like yourself teach our young witches and wizards,’ you heard a sly voice behind you. You turned around and saw yet another familiar face from your time at Hogwarts.

Severus Snape was looking at Remus Lupin with a look in his eyes that was something between disgust and confusion.

‘Severus, lovely to see you as well. It’s always nice to see a familiar face when you’re about to start a new job. Takes some of the tension away,’ you said sarcastically before Remus could reply.

‘Y/N? I didn’t recognize you right away. I see you’ve found your way back to Hogwarts as well.’ Severus’ voice had softened. The two of you had never been friends, you were simply too different, but you and Severus had always had some sort of unspoken respect for each other. He was smart, cunning and a bit shy. You used to partner during Potions from time to time because you both enjoyed to work with someone who was quiet and studious.

‘I have. And since we’re all colleagues now, maybe it’s time to leave the past in the past,’ you said urgently. Remus’ friends James and Sirius had always bullied Severus and even though you were fairly sure Remus himself was never involved, Severus despised him by association.

Severus didn’t get a chance to respond, because Albus Dumbledore had started talking.

‘Welcome everyone. Before we go to the Great Hall to welcome our students, I have a few announcements to make. First of all, I’d like to thank each and every one of you extraordinary witches and wizards for returning to Hogwarts to teach our young minds. It’s an incredible honour to be in the presence of so many talented and dedicated people.’

Professor McGonagall coughed, which seemed to remind the headmaster he was going somewhere with his speech.

‘But let’s not dwell on that for too long. Firstly I’d like to introduce and welcome miss Y/N L/N. she kindly agreed to teach Charms this year while professor Flitwick is away travelling. Her magnificent work for the Ministry is proof she is more than capable to teach our students everything they need to when it comes to Charms.’ The headmaster beamed at you and started clapping. You felt a bit shy when the other teachers joined in and you were glad when professor Dumbledore spoke again.

‘The other announcement is a bit more serious. I’m very happy to welcome Remus Lupin, who will fill the vacancy of Defence against the Dark Arts professor. He is very capable and intelligent and I look forward to see our students learn from him. However, there is a matter that needs to be addressed about a certain… condition.’

You felt a lump in your throat when the headmaster spoke these words. It sounded ominous. You tried to catch Remus’ eyes, but he was staring at professor Dumbledore, seemingly unaware of your attempts to look at him.

‘Before I explain I have to mention that this piece of information should not travel further than this room. It must not be shared with the students. As a young boy, Remus was bitten by a werewolf. This forces him to turn into a wolf every full moon.’

The entire room had gone quiet and it felt like all there was no oxygen left in the room.

‘Fortunately, we have a very talented Potions Master in our midst who will provide our new professor with the Wolfsbane potion to ease the symptoms around the full moon. I’d like to remind you all again that this information is not to be shared with anyone else, especially not the students. Are there any questions?’

The headmaster looked around the room and a content smile appeared on his face when no one spoke.

‘Thank you for listening and please follow me to the Great Hall.’

~~**~~

All throughout the feast, you tried to get Remus’ attention, but you were unsuccessful. You sat in between Rubeus Hagrid and Sybill Trelawney, the game keeper and the Divination professor. Both were kind and asked lots of questions about your work at the Ministry and why you decided to return to Hogwarts.

However, the feast seemed to last forever and even though you had looked forward to be able to enjoy a Hogwarts feast after all these years, you could barely eat anything. The news about Remus had upset you and you wanted nothing more than to talk to him. To ask him how he was doing and to ask if there was anything you could do to help him.

It was a relief when the desserts had disappeared from the tables and the headmaster had send the students off to bed. You got up quickly as well, but you felt a strong grip on your wrist. When you looked up, you saw Sybill staring at you.

‘Be sure to visit me soon, miss Y/L/N. Your aura is uncommonly strong, I’m sure I’ll be able to see all about your future in my crystal ball,’ she said urgently. You nodded quickly and was relieved when she let go off your wrist. Sitting through an entire feast with her next to you had been dreadful and you had no intention of ever visiting her office, but you were just trying to get away from her.

Remus was already leaving the Great Hall and you quickly followed him. When you pasted the headmaster, you smiled and wished him a good night.

The corridor was deserted and you walked a bit faster. When you turned right, you saw him again.

‘Remus!’ He didn’t respond and you were no longer walking but running.

‘Remus! REMUS! WOULD YOU STOP WALKING AWAY FROM ME AND LISTEN?’ you yelled. You had completely lost your temper. Whereas you were always calm and collected, him ignoring you made you so angry you yelled at him. Your sudden rage felt embarrassing, but at least it was effective. Remus had stopped walking and turned around to face you.

‘I’m not really in the mood for small talk, miss L/N,’ he said without looking at you. This angered you even more.

‘Excuse me? Miss L/N?’ you repeated. You were so surprised at his sudden cold approach to you there was nothing else you could say. You started to tremble slightly.

‘We’re not doing this,’ he said coldly. When he finally looked at you, he looked even more tired than when you met earlier, his eyes bloodshot.

‘Doing what?’

‘Being friendly. Dumbledore explained everything. I’m dangerous.’

You shook your head in disbelief.

‘You’re hardly dangerous right now. The full moon was two days ago. You’re as dangerous as I am for about a month.’

‘You’re not stupid, Y/N. I am dangerous. I don’t want to get close to anyone. I’m grateful to Dumbledore for getting me a job and that is what I’m here to do. Teach.’

‘This is crazy, Remus. I’m not afraid of you and like you mentioned, I’m not stupid. I’m perfectly capable of choosing my own company and I choose you. I don’t care about your stupid problem.’

A tiny, careful smile appeared on his face, though it didn’t seem to reach his eyes.

‘You’re the first person to ever call me being a werewolf a ‘stupid problem’,’ he said gloomily.

‘Well, it is. It’s just a stupid thing. You were a child when you got bitten. There’s nothing you can do to change what happened. The only thing you can do is take responsibility and make yourself less dangerous. And according to the headmaster, you did exactly that. Please don’t isolate yourself, Remus. There’s no need to.’

He shook his head.

‘I’m sorry to tell you, but I have to. It’s safest for everyone.’ He turned around, but before he could walk away, you started talking.

‘Why did you act so nice then? Earlier? You knew Dumbledore would tell the staff about your condition. Why bother being nice to me if you were planning to give me the silent treatment afterwards?’

There was so much you didn’t say. Like the fact that you felt happier than you did in a long time when you saw him. How he had made you feel a little less insecure about teaching when he complimented your spell work from over a decade ago. How proud it made you feel that he had remembered your full name, even though you had been sorted into different houses and were never friends.

‘I was genuinely happy to see you, Y/N. I stupidly forgot I intended to keep my distance. I felt drawn to you,’ he said softly. The silence felt heavy. So many things were left unsaid.

‘But I have remembered it now and that’s just in time. Good night, Y/N.’ Once more he turned around and this time, he walked away.

‘I will not let you get away this easily. Trust me, you’ll want to have a friend around here.’ You had no idea if your words were going to persuade him, but you weren’t just going to let him deal with this all by himself.

Part two

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin reader insert #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus john lupin #remus lupin series #growing pains

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eywaseclipse · 10 months

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Growing Pains Chapter 6: The Fire Dance

Characters: Omatikaya!reader, Neteyam, Kiri, Lo’ak, Neytiri, Jake, Tuk, reader’s mom Peyral, Fatao

Synopsis: You and Neteyam have experienced more pain and anguish than most Na’vi people your age. The shift in your relationship becomes noticeable to those you love around you. The night of the celebration arrives, and you’re forced to confront your feelings to Neteyam once and for all.

Warnings: none, just a little angst with a dash of fluff

Word Count: 4k

Several days pass since your sparring match with Lo’ak. His words ringing in your ears, constantly scratching the back of your mind. You try your best to shake off the feelings bubbling in your chest over the small excitement you have for the hunting festival. The combination of the sky people finally departing, along with a bountiful hunting season your people make haste with preparations; yourself included. You finish tying the strings to your feathered top, as you let a sigh fall from your mouth. You’ve been tasked with foraging for fruits for the fermented juices your clan will drink, and to finish the harvesting of grains and herbs. You descend from your tree pod, making way to meet with Kiri and Tuk for your assigned duties for today, hoping to avoid their eldest brother at all cost.

The days since the two of you professed your love to one another has long gone. Both now littered with new scars both external and internal, have changed over the course of 5 years. Your heart aches for his companionship, but you couldn’t help but push him away after the death of your father. Every day since then, Neteyam was there for you. Pushing you to become the warrior you are. Your relentless aggression taken out on him ruthlessly, but he never once complained. His patience never wavering. Your eyes begin to fill with tears as you think about the cruel nature you have now possessed, hurting those around you. Wouldn’t it be nice to be the daughter of a healer, you laugh. The path that has led you to war, has done nothing but stain your heart. Your body and soul have only ever known violence.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t desire to finally confess your love for Neteyam once more. The urge to at last let your guard down, melting away into his arms safe once again. The itch that needs to be scratched. You shake your head, walking in the jungle hearing the creatures hum with life around you. “Manga hey! There you are y/n.” Kiri greets waving to you. A small smile forms on your lips seeing the eccentric Sully, making your way to where her and Tuk rest the baskets on their hips. Over the 5 years, Kiri has now passed her own dream hunt alongside Lo’ak, and Tuk nearly doubled in size now being 12 and ready to begin her training. Sometimes you can’t believe that the time has passed. Your own body filling out, muscles becoming ripcord strong, exceeding in height you stand taller than the women in your age group. Becoming one of the fiercest warriors in the clan next to Neteyam.

“Hi Kiri, Tuk.” You bow your head signing to them, as they return the gesture. “Okay so, Kiri said the Yovo fruit is gonna be the best to pick, but I told her grandma said that it’ll be the Melon fruit. So I think we find out who’s really right.” Tuk begins her silly rambling. The three of you trek into the lush forest grabbing hold of the fruits from the trees, Kiri being correct about the Yovo fruit’s season for peak ripeness. Tuk may have been a sore loser, but nothing that can’t be solved with ripe fruit to nibble on the way home.

Your baskets now filled to the brim, you three make your way over to the forest clearing to hand off the fruit to the elders who will prepare the food for the feast in the next few days. You begin to hand your basket over when the sound of laughing from behind fills your ears. You Kiri and Tuk turn around to see Lo’ak, Neteyam, Fatao, Atan and a few other of the hunters. Your eyes immediately fall to Neteyam’s form, scanning the way he throws his head back in laughter clutching his chest. You gaze at his muscular body, noticing just how much his muscles have filled out over the years. New scars coat his chest and face, his biceps now bulge with power the veins protruding his blue skin. You look to where he wears his cummerbund, down to his thick thighs as they ripple with strength. You feel your cheeks grow hot when a hand on your shoulder shakes you out of your trance.

“Geeze y/n, do I need to wipe the drool off your face?” Kiri teases you. “Huh?” You turn to her still mystified over her brother, just as the group makes their way towards you. “What’re you girls up to?” Fatao inquires with a soft smile. You turn to where they stand, fresh game in their hands for the celebration. Neteyam can’t help but stare deeply into your eyes, seeking the barely there acknowledgement from you he desperately wants. He notices the way your eyes avoid his, the sting of rejection aching in his heart. “We’re getting the fruit ready for the celebration!” Tuk responds excitedly. Fatao smiles at the youngest Sully, “Wow. You girls did an excellent job.” You blush to his praise, watching as Kiri does the same. Fatao one of the finest hunters, possessed a charming soft side to him that made you appreciate his versatility of manhood. The kind eyes, and muscular body to contrast one another perfectly. Much like Neteyam.

“Bro I can’t wait to get wasted. We so deserve this.” Lo’ak says. Neteyam rolls his eyes at his younger brother, while the rest of you laugh. He was not wrong, your people deserve the time to celebrate the departure of the humans. “Yeah you and me both Sully.” Atan quips back. The boys continue their small banter with you and the girls, as you make your way back to your home for the day. Just as you bid everyone goodbye you see Neteyam walk beside you. “Hey, can I walk you home?” You look at him for a moment, wondering if it’s best to make a rude remark like you normally do, or to concede. “I-I sure.” You respond awkwardly. Concede it is.

The two of you stroll in awkward silence, the air thick with tension. Most of your days have been spent strategizing war plans and ambush parties. Many of your interactions with Neteyam became routine, like tending to each other’s battle wounds, adorning each other with war paint, and sharpening your weapons together. Most of the time, you’d spend the moments in silence not needing to use words around one another. But this, this is different. It’s like he senses the tugging of your heart strings wanting him to give you one last chance, because you’d take it. The leap of faith you’re willing to make is in the home stretch.

“So, are you looking forward to the celebration?” He makes small talk. You click your tongue in fake annoyance. “Oh sure.” The phoney attitude doesn’t seem to bother him, in fact he knows you well enough to tell when you’re bluffing. “I know you’ve been spending the last few weeks making a new outfit y/n. Don’t bullshit me.” He playfully teases. You gasp in surprise, as you look to where he seems to be holding in a laugh. You playfully smack his muscular arm, laughing at him calling you out. “Okay okay. Fine. Yes, I may or may not be excited.” You huff out with hands waving in the air with defeat. You can’t help but feel the walls around your heart slowly dissipate when you’re around him, afraid he may hear it beat for him.

“Are you seeking to court anyone?” He treads carefully. Both of you know you’ve failed at keeping one of the promises made 5 years ago. The awkward silence fills the forest momentarily. “I-I don’t have time for that.” You respond shyly. “Come on y/n, you’ve got half the clan men practically wrapped around your thumb.” You hear his words slightly laced with jealously. “Oh yeah and what about you? You receive a dozen courtship items every week from the women. They’re practically drooling at your feet.” You can’t help but spit out the words. You know you have no right to be jealous. Neteyam’s attempts at reconciling with you over the years has only been met with your cruel rejections left and right. No, you have no right to be upset with him at all.

Neteyam just shakes his head, and huffs in annoyance. “Well I don’t want them. What about you? You’re one of the most desired women in this clan surely you know that.” You click your tongue again, the anxiety now bubbling in your stomach. The fear begins to set in as you hesitate to tell him. Fatao had given you the flower days ago, you hadn’t thought anything of it at first. But he did have intentions to save a dance with you for the celebration. “I-well.” You begin nervously. “Fatao gave me a flower. Perhaps I’ll go with him.” You speak slowly. “Fatao?” He asks in confusion. “Fatao?” He stresses his name as it leaves his mouth bitterly. “What about him?” You gaze up to where his eyes bore into you, the heat beginning to rise from the back of your neck and to your cheeks.

“It’s nothing Neteyam. It’s just a stupid flower. I-I” “So what? You wish to mate with him now? Hmm?” The sudden change in Neteyam’s demeanor takes you both by surprise, as your brows furrow in confusion. “Nete-” “No I don’t want to hear it. Have fun with him.” A final huff leaves his mouth, as you stand at the root of your home. Your mouth left agape completely speechless over Neteyam’s outburst. All you can do is watch as he stomps away from you, tail flicking with anger. A distressed sigh leaves your lips, as you fight the tears brimming in your eyes. “Fuck.”

Several days go by and your attempts to speak with Neteyam are met with no avail. A stark contrast to the Neteyam you’ve known. How ironic, you think to yourself. All he’s doing is giving you a taste of your own medicine. You have no right to be mad with him. You simply pick yourself up, and continue for the preparations. You start by dropping off your fresh game to the elders this morning, now washing up in the river when you hear a twig snap. You turn to the intrusion to see a smiling Fatao walk towards you. “Y/n, mind if I join?” He asks politely. You return a soft smile, “no go ahead.”

He steps with grace into the cool water, as you continue your bathing routine rubbing your braids with some Healing Rose oil. You can’t help back play back Neteyam’s words in your head over and over again, as you muster up an awkward cough. “Uhm, Fatao?” He smiles to you, swimming over. “Yes y/n?” You look to his happy expression, silently dreading what you’re about to say. “I cannot accept your gift. I hope you can forgive me.” You say in a hushed toned. “What do you mean?” His eyes express genuine curiosity. You sigh, “I cannot accept your courting gift Fatao. I am bound to someone else.” You meet his eyes.

“Oh.” A small sound escapes his lips. “I-I don’t understand.” “I didn’t see your intentions at first. I apologize Fatao. Truly. But I wish to be mated with someone else. He and I are promised to another.” He looks to your somber expression, sighing deeply. “If you wish y/n. But I must know, it’s Neteyam isn’t it?” He gently pries. “Yes.” Your own voice betrays you as you acknowledge your love for him for the first time in 5 years. You can’t help but feel the way your heartbeat races in your confession. “I suppose a part of me always knew I never stood a chance.” Fatao chuckles. “But I appreciate you being truthful with me now. I will not mate with someone who’s spoken for.” “I really am sorry.” You apologize genuinely, the embarrassment flushing your cheeks.“I understand y/n. We cannot help who are hearts are bound to, the Great Mother works in mysterious ways.” He says with small smile.

Later that evening you begin to take out your braided hair, now soft from the luscious oils and care. Your silky black locks fall past your shoulders cascading in rivets of light bouncing off. You begin to think about what to say to Neteyam now that your heart is ready for his love. All these years you’ve spent cowering away, fighting the emotions you have done nothing but push away the one person who truly saw you. You refuse to let yourself ruin another good thing in your life. You will not.

Your nimble fingers work to string the beads that will delicately cover your breasts in hopes to attract your Neteyam. You knew that tomorrow night many eligible women would attempt to court him, your mind suddenly becoming riddled with guilt and fear over the thought of him accepting someone else’s affections. You shake your head, continuing your threading. You hold onto the hope that he may forgive your stone cold heart, in hopes of confessing to him that he’s the one who thawed it.

The Next Day

You awake to the sound of several children’s laughter filling your ears, families now readying for the day of the celebration. Your stomach begins to flutter with excitement as the hope brews in your veins. You rise up from your sleeping mat, stretching your long limbs from your slumber. You make your way to the middle of the pod where you prepare your breakfast, diligently eating in comfortable silence. You spend the entire morning perfecting your matching loincloth to your top, the beautiful hue that contrasts your azure skin. You pick out several beaded necklaces as accessories, along with the matching beaded armbands. You dress excitedly standing in your mirror, taking a look at your appearance. On the outside, you appear strong your body littered with scars and powerful muscles. But internally you’re nothing but a frightened woman, seeking forgiveness from the love of her life.

Evening begins to fall, the chatter of delight filling the clan with the hunting festivities underway. You begin to make the final touches to your outfit, putting on your special Fire Dance shawl. The vibrant array of colors mimics a bird of paradise, often the symbol of sexual maturity for young Na’vi members. Your intentions clear; find your mate. You knew many of the other women of age would be adorning their own Fire Dance costumes, to seek their mates in a courting dance your people have been teaching since the time of the First Songs. Your heart begins to flutter with nerves, praying that when you are ready to pick Neteyam, he accepts your hand. When a Na’vi begin the act of courtship, it is written within Eywa to perform the courting rites to become a mated pair.

You take some of the perfume salve from your small jar, pressing your fingers in the soft puddy concentrate. The combination of spicy Txumpaywll Scorpion Thistle, Earthy musk, and sweet Kllpxiwll Lion Berry, you now smell like a walking aphrodisiac. Your fingers tap each sides of your neck, collarbones, and wrists with the delicious aroma filling your nose. You close your eyes sending a silent prayer to the Great Mother asking her to guide your heart tonight, to for once, lead with love instead of anger.

The crowd begins to gather in the forest clearing, with your people getting the snare drums and giant fire ready to go. You see the spit roast of several hexapedes begin to spin, making your mouth water with hunger. “Y/n!” Your friend Marali rushes to you, with glee. “Hi, Marali! You look stunning.” You say with delight. Her own black hair flows down her shoulder and to her back as she’s adorned in a similar Fire Dance shawl to yours. You can’t help the way your eyes being to scan the clearing in hopes of seeing the man of the hour. “What is it?” You look to Marali, sighing. “I think I messed up. I hurt someone who means the world to me Marali. I’m afraid I have lost him forever.” You sigh sadly.

“Is this about Neteyam?” You nod your head slowly. “It is yes.” “Y/n, anyone with eyes can see how hopelessly in love he is with you.” “But I have done awful things over these last few years, I fear I may have pushed him away for good.” The tears begin forming in your eyes at your somber revelation. Marali grabs your hand gently, “And yet he has remained by your side this whole time, y/n. All you have to do is ask for his hand, and he will give it to you. Trust me.” Your brows furrow with stupor, as you hear her words. “Are you certain?” You whisper. “More than anything.” She giggles at your obliviousness as if this was the most obvious confession in the world. “Alright.”

Your leader’s voice booms with command as he and Neytiri stand tall on the raised root at the base of the tree. Both of them wearing their Olo’eyktan and Tsakarem garments for the festival. “Let us give thanks to the bountiful hunting season! Let us also give thanks to our people who have fought bravely to defend our home, many lives lost as a result, may we honor the bravery of our men and women fighting to keep us safe.” You and your clan members respond together “We are all seeds of the Sacred Tree.” Jake hand signals for the snare drums to start, as the loud booming ricochets into your body. Your people begin their happy yipping making way to the center of the clearing to begin dancing and celebrating.

Your eyes continue to search for Neteyam as you see Lo’ak across the way going for some fermented Yovo juice, “I figured I’d find you here.” He looks to where you now walk up to him, with eyes practically bulging out of his skull. “Holy shit.” You chuckle at his reaction, watching the youngest brother ogle at your appearance. “Have you seen Neteyam, Lo’ak?” He shakes his head vigorously, scanning your chest with wide eyes. “No, but he’s in trouble when he sees you.” With a proud smirk on his face, you yank the drinking bowl from his hands and chug the alcohol as fast you can. “Hey!” You wipe your mouth and continue your search. “Thanks!”

Your body spins to do a 360, turning to all angles as you make to keep walking when you bump into a hard body. “Oh!” You squeal in surprise. “I’m so-” “Neteyam?” You both speak in unison. His eyes immediately expand at your outfit, causing a surge of emotions to course through you. “Y/n.” He huffs in surprise. Your heart begins to beat faster and faster, thrumming loudly in your throat and ears. “You look-” “I’m so-” You both continue to speak at the same time. An awkward laugh escapes both your mouths. “You go first.” He nods. You clear your throat, as you muster up the words that have been living in your head the last few days. “Neteyam I-” “Oh Neteyam!” A squeaky voices invades your ears. You look to your right as you see Ro’até saunter over to you. “You owe me a dance mighty warrior!” She begins to tug on his arms.

Your stomach drops, hearing her words. Her whiney voice prickling your skin like a thousand little needles. You look to Neteyam, eyes silently begging him to shoo her away. “Ro’até, I’m speaking with y/n.” “Oh come on!” She insists. Just as you’re about to walk away, heart not handling the impending rejection, he steps forward. “I said leave me alone.” His voice stern yet gentle. Your eyes widen in shock as he rejects her. “Fine, so be it.” She huffs in defeat sulking away from the two of you. Your eyes can’t quite believe what happened, as you look back to where Neteyam stands, taking a hand in yours.

“I-wanted. What I wanted to say was I’m sorry.” “What for?” He inquires. “No let me finish. I have done nothing but treat you like shit over the last 5 years. And for some unknown reason you’ve stayed by my side throughout everything. The day my father passed, a part of me died with him. And the y/n, we used to know changed. I know that. But I fear I may have lost you for good this time. The things I’ve said, and done; I didn’t mean any of them. All we’ve ever known is violence and war, and I’m afraid my vengeance has consumed me. Staining me. The ravages of war have soiled my soul. But when I’m with you, I’m reminded of the good still left inside. Because you refuse to give up on me; us. Neteyam, what I said the other day wasn’t true. I just said it to hurt you. I say things that hurt you, because hurting you is easier than letting you into my heart. I’m so afraid. I’m afraid that if I let anything other than anger in, I’ll crumble.” Your tears now fall freely down your cheeks as you sniffle loudly, attempting to continue, as Neteyam gently brings his thumb to wipe them away.

“I do not wish to mate with Fatao. I want you. It’s always been you. I love you Neteyam.” The whisper escapes your lips, looking to him as your eyes bore into his soul. He stands before you silent, with your heart beating so loudly, it could be heart from miles away. “Y/n.” He whispers. “It’s always been you too. I love you. I love you during your bad days, your good days. You don’t need to apologize.” “But I do. I have been so cruel.” You continue crying. “Shh hey, look at me. You’re the strongest person I have ever met. To continue on without your father, you’re the bravest woman on Pandora. I know you never meant anything you said. It’s okay y/n.”

The walls to your icy heart continue melting away, slowly revealing the center in which beats for the man who stands before you. Your entire world. “Neteyam. If you will still have me. I wish to join union with you.” Your eyes gaze into one another. “You never lost me y/n.” A smile forms on your face, as you two slowly bring your lips together. Cautiously touching for the first time in 5 years. The warmth of his skin envelopes you as if no time has passed at all, two souls made for one another finding their way back home.

You gingerly break the kiss, smiles on your faces. “Your outfit. It’s beautiful. Almost half as beautiful as you.” Neteyam smirks. You bring your hand to your mouth to stifle a small chuckle. “You like it?” Wiggling your brows you spin in a small circle, twirling for him with your body on display. “Oh.” A small gasp leaves his mouth. You peck his lips once more, “we must dance. It is the way.” “Your Fire Dance?” He inquires. You nod your head enthusiastically, as both of you understand that this courting ritual will solidify your decision to become a mated pair. You pull his hand, leading him to the center of the clearing as he happily follows.

“Think about all the hearts you’re about to break tonight. The women will cry for days.” You chuckle. Neteyam smiles at your amusement, bringing his hands up to meet yours. “Yeah well can’t say I’m sorry about taking you away from the men.” “Oh and why’s that?” You wiggle your brows. “Because you’re mine.” Neteyam’s lips ghost the shell of your ear, his hot breath fanning your skin causes a shiver to run down your whole spine down to your toes.

Your eyes meet his, now hooded with primal lust that builds in your tummy. You bring your own lips to his ear now. “Prove it.” Challenging the son of Olo’eyktan. His ears immediately twitch, tail flicking with excitement. The snare drum begins to pick up its pace, signifying the start of the Fire Dance. Other courting pairs make their way around you, sexual tension palpable in the air encompassing the atmosphere around you in the fire lit night. A small growl erupts from his chest, vibrating with power as he circles around you like a Thanator stalking its prey. He initiates the courting ritual by puffing out his chest, chin down as if getting ready to pounce. You respond by lifting your arms in the air, the colorful tendrils of your shawl fluttering with motion. You two circle one another for some time, feeling the rhythm of the flutes, tambourines, and drums flow through your body effortlessly guiding your dance like leaves in the wind. Unbeknownst to the two of you. Your mother, Neytiri and Jake sit on a log near by, happily observing that their children have finally found their way home to one another.

You continue moving to the music, getting in the line with the other women, as Neteyam steps back to stand with the men. The Fire Dance has at least 10 courting pairs, ready to become mated as you dance to the rhythm of the drums. You then your bring your hands in front of your bodies, connecting with each other. Tails whipping around with anticipation. Suddenly the music fades to a distant humming, you and Neteyam gaze into each other’s eyes hands still connected. “I see you y/n.” A soft whisper falls from his lips. Your lust hooded eyes, look down to his lips, then eyes again. “I see you Neteyam.”

wow this took so long to write I hope everyone enjoys it. I strongly encourage watching the hunting festival deleted scene from Avatar 2009. It's so good.

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