#but to my excuse the program was shitty

[under-the-ladder]

Since all the songs have been here for a few days now, time for my top (for now. I have no doubts this will change until May.) Warning, a wall of text incoming

The middle section was so hard to rank 😫 I'm sure I'll see this tomorrow and say to myself "What did I think yesterday??". Everything's fluid and constantly changing but that's why I prefer tiers over strict ranking with places.

Best:

Netherlands 🇳🇱 - What do I even say? Joost completely satisfied the insane expectations I'd had for him. He was the sole reason eventually I learned how to use a vpn. I consider him my entryway to the Dutch culture, I've known him for almost a year and he's managed to become special to me as an artist, almost like in a completely different tier. I am definitely biased lol but I just love the song lyrically (I already elaborated on it here), musically and trust him as a performer 100%. Televote win is in the air!

Switzerland 🇨🇭 - Now this is, my dear friends, my winner vibes this year (out of the more viable entries)! Jury will most likely tank Joost and I can see Nemo getting high points from both juries and tele. The Code has just a perfect amount of drama and theatricality. It connects pop and opera - a mix that I'm a sucker for and additionally, is lyrically meaningful to me on a personal level. How could I not love this??? I'm impatiently looking forward to Nemo's looks and turquoise carpet!

Belgium 🇧🇪 - If not Switzerland, at least let Belgium win. This has some anthemic quality that draws me instantly. Takes quite a long time to get to the climax but it's soo worth it. The lyrics are a mystery to me and it still doesn't take away from the song. I might be biased because I already explored some of Mustii's discography and I love what I found.

Spain 🇪🇸 - The instrumental is a biiig part of why I love this song so much. Those synths make me euphoric every time, the message is beautifully unapologetic. I am worried about the vocals though. I've read somewhere that in Benidorm Fest the way Mery sang was an intentional nod to some other popular singer but there's no way anyone outside of Spain knows that. And even when I know that I still lack the cultural context to grasp the significance. If this doesn't get changed this aspect will definitely hold them back.

Ps. If I ever get a cat (as Baby Lasagna has been tempting me since Dora) I am naming it Zorra, mark my words.

Finland 🇫🇮 - This is just pure fun and I'm buying it! It saddens me to see people complaining thy're just a copy of Käärijä, they take themselves so much less seriously lol. The descending shorts with fireworks concept AND the eagle sounds are everything. On top of that the guys are already the highlight of this year's backstage. I will be super sad if this nqs but then semis are televote only so there's still hope 🙏

Amazing:

Slovenia 🇸🇮 - There is something magnetically drawing me to this song. I love how Slovenian sounds in it, the harsh "r" sounds and almost bird-like "rrahh" especially. Raiven's voice and stage presence are hypnotizing. Besides, Weronika is my 3rd name and the only one I chose for myself so I feel personally connected to the song. Musically this is not the easiest entry and I don't expect many televoters to get it (please just q a dalej niech się dzieje wola nieba) but I hope the atmosphere of the performance will make up for it.

Croatia 🇭🇷 - I still can't believe Baby Lasagna was a backup entry for Dora. If he ends up winning there should be a little shrine for Zsa Zsa built in Zagreb. Meanwhile the Dora executives should really ask themselves how the hell they initially declined an entry that ended up giving them a chance for the best placing since god knows when. Anyways, the hype for this was the highest around Dora, now I'm busy obsessing over others but this is very solid still. I wish the staging was less messy. I kinda don't believe it can win realistically but I certainly wouldn't be disappointed.

Australia 🇦🇺 - It's crazy how my opinion on One Milkali took a complete u-turn. From "I don't think it's my type of music" to "Gosh, I can't get it out of my head". The song does feel a bit dated but somehow special as well. Perhaps that's because I found other songs from Electric Fields that I fell in love with. I still think their 2024 is not the strongest track from their discography and I'm mentally preparing for an NQ :|

Portugal 🇵🇹 - Well, I'm myself super surprised that Grito surpassed Ramonda when it comes to ballads. I didn't feel anything for the first few listens and then something clicked. I sense until May there might be some shuffles around those positions and a lot will be down to the live performances

Latvia 🇱🇻 - Dons' monumental vocals is what makes this song 200x better. It flows nicely, the staging is lacking but that will surely get improved, right? 👀 He seems like such a fun guy with a distance to himself, the butter tiktoks will be remembered for a long time.

Lithuania 🇱🇹 - It took some time for it to grow on me. Lithuanian sounds nice here, almost like Polish, and I like the bridge(?) with the lyrics about radio. The chorus melody is kinda annoying but the rest of the song compensates for it. Tbh I like either Latvia or Lithuania more based on how my mood changes.

Cyprus 🇨🇾 - I know it's a pretty standard girlbop but I just like it for some reason. Silia's energy is highly contagious. Hoping she can prove the gossips wrong and deliver vocally while dancing.

Good:

Ukraine 🇺🇦 - I think it's a decent entry. When Jerry and alyona won Vidbir they were pretty high in my ranking but with the rest of the entries being revealed that advantage faded gradually. Contrary to e.g. Slovenia, Teresa & Maria felt catchy and interesting at the beginning but the longer I listened to it the more repetitive it became. I can see this being an advantage in the televoting though. With that being said, it's far from being the most winning-worthy song and I'd rather root for a country that didn't score two wins already in the last decade.

Sweden 🇸🇪 - from the first time I saw this I fell in love with the staging. Loreen had a horizontal sandwich last year, this year it's a vertical one for the twins lol. I do admit the staging is a huge part of why it's so high but I do like this song. Hell, I even think it's better than Air. The last part especially, right before the end. What can I say, I hear those synths and I'm sold. It will make a good opener.

Greece 🇬🇷 - I'm still not sure why it's so high. I don't vibe with the idea for the music video (please don't try to adapt it for stage. No more cringey overlays, don't catch this virus from TVP). The parts I find highly enjoyable are the opening and ending sung in this high(?) voice, the middle is more like my guilty pleasure.

France 🇫🇷 - I really liked the trick with standing back from the microphone but even without it it's a powerful enough ballad. Slimane as a singer sells it, that's it.

Serbia 🇷🇸 - For another year I find myself in love with the sound of Serbian language. The words "lila ramonda" flow so well in the chorus and complement each other in terms of sounds. The song is almost like a lullaby, with the forward-backward movement that Teya makes during the last chorus underscoring that even more. Another beautiful moment is when the flower rises from above her at the end. The performance makes this song for me as musically I preferred Lik u ogledalu, which was kinda uncoordinated on stage with those mirrors.

Estonia 🇪🇪 - I was really a fan of this song around January and then something happened, maybe the Eesti Laul final performance? It was messy vocally and staging-wise. For now I can't really pinpoint what else is wrong but one thing is sure: this really fell more than a few places for me :/

Poland 🇵🇱 - I'm so tired of the Polish internet at this point that I'll be cheering for Luna no matter what happens. This is a song I liked from the start and still do and I sincerely hope she manages to pull it off on stage decently, I don't care whether because she' naturally a good vocalist or gets a lot of training or gets tape backing vocals. Seeing how strong this year is I'm doubting whether Karma or Justyna would score much better.

Austria 🇦🇹 - This grew on me a bit, enough to move from average to good. Not seeing the winner hype at all and as I mentioned somewhere earlier her staging is my pet peeve. If this ends up anywhere near how the mv looks like then I'll be seriously disappointed. This is a song about raving after all and making a Chanel-like choreo-heavy girlbop out of it seems so unnecessary.

Average:

Luxembourg 🇱🇺 - The funky droplet sounds(?) are quite up my alley, the song is quite fun on its own. Please change that outfit on stage, it's too dark for how happpy Fighter sounds imo. While the result of the Luxembourgish nf is not that bad I do hope they change it before the next year. Forcibly pairing artists with not-their-own songs almost always ends up badly and come on, why restrict their creativity and authenticity? It's not 2013 anymore.

UK 🇬🇧 - That's kind of a classic example of expectations vs reality. Dizzy is painfully correct and nothing more BUT I think it can still be rescued by the live performance. If they manage to bring the spinning rooms idea to life and miraculously nothing breaks and if Olly uses his charisma which he has plenty of. If you don't believe me watch It's a sin with Elton John or mv to Starstruck.

Italy 🇮🇹 - My biggest problem here is with the instrumental, it's grating and scratches my brain in a very annoying way. I like Angelina's expression on stage and all that but the song is just a barrier impossible to ignore. If Italy wants to win again please, may it be with something better (I wouldn't say no to Annalisa).

Ireland 🇮🇪 - I'm generally very glad Bambie won, this is surely progress made from the last year. Normally I'm not a fan of pagan elements, zodiac signs, etc. but the mv is very aesthetically pleasing. The quieter parts are digestible to my ears, the noisier ones not so much. People keep saying it's a chance for Ireland to qualify but honestly I'm of the opinion it will repel majority of the televoters. It will be very interesting to see how it's going to play live with staging, outfits and turquoise carpet nonetheless.

Norway 🇳🇴 - I think Norway might be the biggest fall this year, or even since I'm more engaged in ESC. This went straight up from amazing to barely average. In theory Ulveham has everything I should love - Norwegian, rock mixed with folk, powerful and charismatic vocalist. I still don't know exactly what doesn't work. It's no mystery I loved Mileo and thought Damdiggida was a letdown compared to other Keiino's songs so I don't think Norway had a better option in the MGP final than Gåte. What I like is the staging, especially the moment Gunnhild bends backwards and leans on her hand (somehow with her vocals remaining flawless!!) but that's not enough to charm me back :c

Weak:

Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - It's a pleasant ballad but doesn't distinguish itself enough to be memorable. I appreciate the use of Azerbaijani (Azeri?), I don't appreciate the presence of Ilkin Dovlatov. What does he even bring to this song?

Denmark 🇩🇰 - That's just a very competent song with a good vocalist, almost no more things to say. I'm not a fan of the platform she was standing on. Also I have a weird aversion to the DMGP stage, it looks like a waterwell so it will probably be better in Malmö lol.

Armenia 🇦🇲 - As much as everyone seems to be loving Jako, to me it's rather grating. From what I was able to see I appreciate Jaklin's energy live but that's about it. It doesn't help that it's constantly stuck in my head while I'd prefer it not to.

San Marino 🇸🇲 - This just doesn't do anything to me. Feels almost too funky while I thoroughly enjoyed the heavier vibe of Arcadia. Maybe that's unfair to compare so much but I can't help it. In a weaker year I wouldn't mind for Megara to qualify but this time maybe make some room for better songs (Latvia please?).

Iceland 🇮🇸 - Jak do tego doszło nie wiem/How did it come to this? The results of Söngvakeppnin left me speechless this year and the drama afterwards left a very bad taste. Scared of heights is not a super bad song after all but it's biggest mistake is blandness. A sure NQ that I will not cry for.

Bad:

Albania 🇦🇱 - The revamp took all the kick and power out of this. The rap part turned into a shadow of itself. Contrary to many, I don't mind the language change. I can't say I liked the song before, I like it even less now. I do appreciate the mv though, it's so crisp.

Czechia 🇨🇿 - I'm sorry, I just can't ignore the live when judging this. Even if I did I still don't think Pedestal would end up much higher. I don't vibe with the shouty chorus and an nth rendition of the Mugler suit this year, the visuals in the mv are much more pleasant though and I'd like them to go that direction in Malmö.

Malta 🇲🇹 - The revamp broke it, I'm sorry. What else can I say? Didn't like it before, like it even less now. Case similar to Albania.

Georgia 🇬🇪 - This track is so noisy and overproduced that I can't remember the melody line even after multiple listens. Too dynamic, too much of everything all at once. I guess the song is not that bad, I just dislike the fact that it takes effort to make a song this overloaded and yet Georgia succeeded.

Moldova 🇲🇩 - I know I said that was the only option for Moldova but I can't help but skip this one every time it comes up on my playlist. The only catchy part is the chorus melody, all without words. I actively dislike the live performance, there's something disturbing in the way they all look and move the same way.

Germany 🇩🇪 - Eh. Every time I listen to this I physically cringe at the sound of the elephant in the chorus. The supposedly African inspiration feel disingenuous and very 2010s to me. James Newman fate is what I predict awaits this entry.

#i made the template myself this year! #just don't zoom in #i can't crop things well #but to my excuse the program was shitty #esc 2024 #rankings

[the-toasted-teacake]

'You've got Carlos, who's on fire at the moment, just behind me. So, I'm looking forward to it.'

#lando norris #carlando #c4f1 #japanese gp 2024 #excuse the shitty recording of my tv screen #for some reason the program cuts off before the lando interview online #so this'll have to do

[mueritos]

its crazy how coming into clinical social work, i really just thought I was up against systems and cycles of trauma....but it turns out i'm up against those two things AND other therapists. the amount of work spent correcting mistakes from other clinicians--whether with clients or during the classroom--is fucking crazy.

i totally get we're all on different journeys in terms of being clinicians. but it is insane finding out day after day of therapists and clinicians saying the worst things ever to clients. demeaning them, telling them "it's all in their head", the racism and the ableism and harm that is caused. like no fucking wonder people are afraid to seek therapy (on top of the accessibility issues). while i'm a little biased and think that at the very least clinical social work training focuses on viewing people within their environments (so not engaging in the medical/individualist models of practice that a lot of counseling programs focus on), that doesn't mean it gives every person the skills to be an effective therapist. i'm also not saying i'm the best clinician ever--I'm literally in training--but boy! it is jarring seeing how some of my peers interact in class and wondering...is that how you are with your clients??

my social work program at the very least also has a focus on anti-racism, but i know students from other programs and some of them don't even mention racism AT ALL and focus entirely on diagnosing people "correctly", or finding the perfect form of therapy to use on a client. but man, what none of these programs teach are basic life skills. wanting to be a clinician isn't enough, especially considering that an inhumane amount of people in my program are 1. so nervous about making mistakes that they lose scope of their practice 2. have so much internalized racism/white guilt to work thru 3. or they have absolutely no listening skills.

again, im not trying to make it seem like I am the number 1 clinician in the world ever. I don't even have a psych background or bachelor's in social work. my reasons for going into social work are quite selfish (I want a job that is very flexible, easily transferable, and can be done in different contexts), and the helping people part is just a plus. i'm just saying it's very jarring seeing other people in training and realizing they too are working with clients. i have conversation after conversation about these issues with other BIPOC/queer/marginalized clinicians, so I know i'm not the only person worried about some of the people that will be out of this program in a few years practicing on their own or with vulnerable populations.

#muerto talks #just rambling #maybe im just a hater virgo with a strong sense of justice #i am just forever perplexed #learning that some of my classmates believe that you can be racist to white people is crazy #learning that some of my classmates are rude and dismissive to BIPOC students but they work in BIPOC communities #learning that some of my classmates weaponize their mental illnesses as an excuse to act shitty to professors classmates or clients is craz #there are zionists??? trying to be social workers?????? #i literally have classes with zionists #some people r doing a whole ass career change because they had a spiritual calling to help people?? #again not saying im such a great clinician im in training just like the rest of my program #but you cannot like tell me to even try to be hopeful about some of the people who will be my collegues in a year #because i have no hope for them #and its going to take making serious mistakes for them to maybe snap out of it #and that fucking sucks #nothing in my body feels safe around those people #like idc maybe im an elitist with impossible standards #maybe im the one asking too much from these people..... #the cognitive dissonance is real in these people man

[autism-corner]

my fav girls ever <33

#ALSO. HAPPY BELATED BDAY RIN <333 youre my speciallest girl everever!!! #augh theyre girlfriends your honour #augh look at them!!!1 LOOK AT THEM!!1 #yes they do have a matching necklace/armband <3 #i didnt want to leave nene's shirt blank so sonic it is o7 #excuse the shitty quality my program doesnt like to save files properly so screenshots it is =3= #nene kusanagi #rin kagamine #kagamine rin #pjsk #pjsk fanart #project sekai #vocaloid #my work #sillyposting #also pretend i didnt say this but. this mightve been the first girls ive properly drawn that are yaknow. canonically girls. whoops #sorry women o7

[charliemwrites]

Unhinged obsessive Johnny Thoughts™️? Unhinged obsessive Johnny Thoughts™️.

Johnny didn’t mean to. He swears he didn’t mean to, please understand.

You’re his favorite server at his favorite bar. He finds every excuse he can to drag one or all of his team there. Yes he likes their company, of course. Likes spending time with them, laughing and joking and building bonds outside of life or death situations. But you are the highlight of those nights.

You smile so sweetly, a little cheeky twist whenever he gets all of the 141 there together. You know all their names - or their callsigns at least. Call Price “captain” with a giggle whenever he groans at you to stop calling him that.

Johnny adores you. Sometimes when he’s alone at the table - the others off smoking or playing pool - you’ll stop by. You don’t have to, but you do, chatting until one of the other servers teases to stop flirting and help bus.

You always blush when they shout that, but never deny it. Leave him with one last warm smile and a promise to top up his drink for listening to you ramble. As if he couldn’t live with your voice in his ears all the time.

You tell him about your masters program. Complain about shitty customers. Admit you broke up with your last boyfriend for calling your hobbies a “silly waste of time.” The movies you’ve seen or watch for nostalgia. He knows when your playlist is on at the bar because you spend your entire shift bouncing and mouthing along whenever you’re not handling a customer.

It’s a slow infection. A creeping, insidious thing that seeps into his blood and corrupts him from the inside out. This awful, twisting devotion for you.

He knows to be careful, loathe to be one of those men you avoid like the plague, trading with other servers to handle. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. He’s happy with the flirting and the little kindnesses, happy that you always light up when you see him. That you breathe a quiet “thank you” and squeeze his arm the one time he steps in one a handshake customer on your behalf.

It’s enough. He reminds himself that it’s enough. He doesn’t deserve more than you’re willing to give. He can’t give you the life you deserve yet.

But then one day things go wrong. So, so wrong.

There’s been a rowdy group of men that have been harassing the younger servers all night. You stepped in, older and more experienced, practiced at not giving them the reactions they want. It’s another of the things Johnny loves about you. You don’t need a mask like Ghost to hide your face.

One them especially tries antagonize you, even manages to earn a sharp word when he says something crass. Johnny tenses when the guy (buddies following suit) starts getting loud, aggressive. Towering over you when he knocks over his barstool, trying to intimidate.

Johnny shoves the guy away from you before it can get much farther. Relief washes over you as the owner, a big burly man, finally makes an appearance and kicks the lot of them out.

“A whiskey on the house for Soap,” you ask the bartender, hand pressed to your chest. “My knight in a cotton sweater.”

He smiles for your sake, mind buzzing to see you so shaken up.

“Alright, lass?”

“Yeah, just spooked me is all,” you sigh, a hand to your cheek now. “Think I’m gonna step out for some air. Thank you again, John.”

He lets you go, even though every molecule in his body urges him to bundle you up under his arm, safe and sound. Take you somewhere quiet to smooth your feathers.

Something doesn’t feel right.

He manages to wait exactly one minute and seventeen seconds before he tells a blasted Gaz that he’s going to the bathroom. When he steps out the back door, you’re being cornered by the man, two of his friends hanging back telling him to “leave it alone” but not actually doing a fucking thing to stop him.

So Johnny does. Honestly, he blacks out for a second. The next thing he knows, he’s cradling you in his arms, his knuckles stinging and bloody. The men are nowhere to be found but there’s a pool of blood in the alleyway. You’re unconscious, fainted sometime in the scuffle - or maybe hit your head.

Johnny isn’t himself. He’s not thinking. He’s used to keeping his cool with guns pressed to his head, but this is different. This is you.

He doesn’t mean to. He really doesn’t but it’s the best he can come up with when he just got a firsthand look at how dangerous the world is for you when he’s not around.

Please understand. He has to keep you safe.

#asks #thoughts™️ #cod #my writing #fanfiction #dark fic #reader fic #soap x reader #john soap mactavish #john soap mctavish x reader

[americasass91]

Use Me

Hello there! I know I’ve been M.I.A. for awhile. And literally haven’t written anything in like 8 months. I’ve been going through a shit ton. (Divorce, job change, all kinds of fun stuff) And I really lost my spark to write. And then the Fnaf movie came out. And seeing Josh Hutcherson on screen again lit a fire inside of me! That boy was my original crush (long before Evans). Peeta Mellark will forever have a piece of my heart. That being said, here’s a little something starring Mike Schmidt! I know, I know. It’s not a Chris Evans character? What’s wrong with me? Josh is fucking pretty. That’s what’s wrong with me. Like, I have a problem. Don’t get me wrong, I still think Chris is pretty and hope the best for him. But…he’s not been my muse lately. I said a long time ago that I wanted Josh to fuck me like a screen door in a hurricane. And it apparently still holds true today! So, I hope you enjoy it even though this is not a part of your regularly scheduled programming! Also, this takes place after the events of FNAF. Also, Also. Not sure if the people on my Taglist for Chris’ characters want to be tagged in Josh’s. If so, just let me know!

*DISCLAIMER*, If you’re under 18, this is nothing for you to be reading. Go away.

Words: 3.3k

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Smut, p in v smut, oral(f rec), unprotected sex, language, Mike being good, um I think that’s it

💙💙💙💙💙 

“Listen Y/N, I’m gonna need you to stay and work the next shift.”

You turn around and look at your manager as if she had suddenly grown 3 heads. “Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you right. It sounded like you said you needed me to stay and work the next 8 hour shift.”

She rolls her eyes as she goes back to charting the current patient she’s working on. “You know that’s exactly what I said. Look, I have no other options. Hannah called off.”

“Again? This is like the third day in a row! How is that fair exactly?” You put your patient’s paperwork down and cross your arms over your chest as you stare at her expectantly.

She doesn’t even bother looking at you as she answers. “I don’t know what to tell you Y/N. She says she’s sick. I can’t have her come in if she’s sick.”

Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes. “If by sick you mean hungover! She literally posted on Instagram last night about her night out on the town!”

She glances over at you. “There’s no way to prove if that was from last night or if it's older. Now just get back to work and I’ll let you have an hour and a half break instead of an hour.”

Now you’re pissed. “Yeah, see, that's not going to work for me. I’ve already been here for 16 hours because Kim was late. I’m not working Hannah’s whole ass shift. I have plans. I finally get to see my boyfriend after weeks because our schedules weren’t lining up. I’m not staying.”

“You really don’t have a choice. I wasn’t really asking you, I was telling you. There’s no one else to cover.”

Tears started welling up in your eyes out of frustration, exhaustion, and the possibility of not being able to see Mike again. “There’s a bunch of other people that can cover! What about you? You’ve only been here 8 hours. It would make more sense for you to stay.” 

She turns in her chair to look at you now. “Y/N, I have actual plans. My husband has a work party. And the rest of us have husbands and children to attend to. Not just ‘hanging out with my boyfriend.’

Now you’re seeing red. “So what you’re saying is because I’m the only nurse on this floor not married, I get the shitty end of the deal and have to cover when other people call off?”

“No. If you had legit plans then I’d be more sympathetic. But you haven’t even been with this boy that long. You don’t need to spend every free moment with him.”

“I’m sorry but who do you think you are? My mother? Because I’m a grown ass woman. And if I want to hang with my boyfriend on my time off then I’m going to! I don’t really need your approval for it. I’m not staying.”

You grab your Stanley and start heading towards the locker room to grab your stuff. 

“Y/N! If you don’t stay, then you can forget about this job.”

You turn around just before reaching the end of the hallway. “Well, then I guess you’re going to have to stick around and cover Hannah’s shift. Stick it up your ass, Jan. I quit.”

You don’t even stay to hear what she has to say. You quickly run to your locker and grab all of your stuff out before you start to cry. You can’t believe you just quit. And it’s not just because of your boyfriend. You haven’t been treated right since the first week you started. This was just the last straw. You just hope Mike won’t be disappointed in you.

💙💙💙💙💙

After a quick shower and outfit change at home, you reluctantly find yourself pulling into Mike’s driveway and getting out of the car. You haven’t gotten to see him in about 3 weeks and you know you look like shit from not only your long ass shift but also because you cried on the way over.

You head to the front door and open it up. He always leaves the door unlocked when he knows you’re coming over, and get hit with the aroma of pasta. Mike’s cooking you dinner. That makes you want to start crying all over again. He’s the sweetest.

“Babe? Is that you?” You hear him call from the back of the house. He quickly comes towards the front and sees you. His smile falters when he sees the state you’re in. “Babe, are you okay? What happened?” He quickly wraps you up in a hug. 

You try your best to keep it together but a few tears fall. “I quit today.”

He pulls out of the hug but keeps his arms around you. “You did? Babe, that’s fantastic!” He pulls you back in for another hug and picks you up to twirl you around.

Your mood instantly lifts and you can’t help but laugh. “It is?”

He sets you down and pulls you in for a quick kiss. “Of course it is! That place was treating you like shit! And Jan was a bitch! What finally made you do it?”

He lets go of all but your hand and leads you into the kitchen so he can continue making spaghetti. He sets you down at the table and pours you a nice big glass of wine he bought just for tonight. “I want to hear all about it.”

He goes back to the stove and continues making dinner while you rehash the last 16 hours.

He turns around with the sauce spoon in his hand and his other on his hip. “Hannah called off again? Jesus, how does she still have a job? Didn’t she do this to you last year during Christmas?”

Oh, shit. You had forgotten about that. She did do this last year! You had plans to fly home and see your family for the holidays when Hannah unexpectedly came down with ‘the flu’. Jan had called and needed you to work since nobody else could cover. You felt like since you were still new at the time that you couldn’t say no. Now you’re getting pissy all over again. 

“Oh my god! You’re right! Maybe the bitch has some vendetta out against me. I’ve never done anything to her though! I’ve been nothing but nice!”

Just then your phone dings, alerting you of a text. You quickly check it. It’s from Hannah.

I can’t believe you threw a tantrum and quit just because I wasn’t feeling my best and couldn’t come in. Wow. All so you can hang out with your piece of shit delinquent boyfriend. You sure have your priorities straight.

“Fucking cunt!” You yell as you throw your phone across the table. Then immediately you slap your hands over your mouth just as Mike turns around to see what you’re yelling about.

“What’s wrong? Who was it?”

You remove your hands from your mouth. “Mike, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to curse that loud. I hope Abby didn’t hear me.”

He waves you off. “Babe, she’s not even here. She got invited to a sleepover at Natalie’s house. We’re alone. You’re good.”

You sigh in relief. “Thank god! I don’t want any of my bad habits to rub off on her.”

Mike just chuckles and turns back to the sauce. “If she turns out anything like you, I’d be entirely okay with that.”

You can’t help but feel a blush creep up your neck. He was always saying sweet stuff like that. You get up and hug him from behind and press a kiss to the back of his neck. “You’re too sweet.”

He turns around in your arms and grabs your face and gives you a proper, toe-curling kiss. “I mean it.”

After a few more shared kisses, Mike finishes up dinner and fixes you both a plate and a glass of wine for himself. As you’re sitting there twirling your spaghetti around your fork, you can’t help but think about Hannah’s text again. And then all of the little snide remarks she’s ever made to you come flooding back.

“Babe?”

You snap out of your thoughts and Mike comes back into focus. “Yeah?”

He puts his fork down. “I asked if there was something wrong with the spaghetti? You’ve hardly touched it.”

You look down at your plate and realize you’ve just been twirling it around your fork. “No, it’s fine. Just thinking about what Hannah said and how much it pisses me off. I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to ruin our time together.”

He smiles and grabs both of your plates and gets up and places them on the counter. He comes back over and holds his hand out to you. “Come on.”

You grab his hand with no hesitation and let him pull you out of your chair and let him lead you to his bedroom.

He turns around to face you right before you get to his bed. “First of all, you could never ruin our time together. I love getting to spend time with you no matter what. Second of all, it sounds like you need to let out some anger and need a distraction.”

You can’t help but feel all tingly at the smirk he’s giving you. “What did you have in mind?”

He backs up a little and sits on the bed and looks up at you. “Use me, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “What? What do you mean?”

He reaches out to grab your hands to pull you towards him. “I mean use me. Use me to distract yourself and to take your anger out on. I’ll be a good boy and do whatever you need.”

That almost had your knees buckling. “Oh.” He lifts your shirt up and starts pressing kisses along your stomach while running his hands from your back to your hips and down to your ass. You’ve never been in this position before. Sure, you guys have only been together for like 5 months but anytime you’ve ever been intimate, he’s been the one who’s taken charge.

He pulls back and looks up at you. “Use me, baby. I got you. Tell me what you need.”

You decide to run with it and take control and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “I wanna sit on your face.”

He lets out a little whimper as he moves back on the bed. “Fuck, baby. Please sit on my face. I want you to suffocate me.”

He lays back and patiently waits for you to remove your pants and panties. You hesitantly climb up on the bed. You’ve never done this before with anyone but have always wanted to try it. You climb up until you’re straddling his waist and lean down to kiss him. 

He returns the kiss enthusiastically and grinds you down onto him so you can feel how hard he already is for you. It makes you let out a small moan into his mouth. The making out only lasts for a few more minutes before you pull away and start climbing up until you’re hovering right above his mouth.

Before you fully lower yourself onto him you grab his hair and yank so that he has to look at you. He lets out another beautiful whimper. “I’m going to ride your face until I can’t think of anything else but your tongue. You’re going to be good and make me cum as many times as I want, right?”

He nods instantly. “Yes, I promise I’ll be good for you.”

“Good boy.” You tell him, which makes his eyes roll to the back of his head. Hmm. Who knew he had a praise kink?

You let go of his hair and grab onto the headboard with both hands before you slowly lower yourself onto his waiting mouth. 

He immediately grips your thighs and pulls you even harder on him and starts eating you out like a man starved. “Oh, fuck!” You throw your head back and start grinding on his tongue. He gives you a few more licks before he sucks your clit into his mouth and starts lapping his tongue back and forth against it. “Oh, god. Fuck, Mike! You’re so fucking good at that.”

Your praise has him moaning and whimpering into your pussy, heightening the experience that much more. He moves his right hand towards your ass and gives it a nice squeeze before moving towards your pussy and immediately inserting two fingers.  It makes you start grinding faster, feeling yourself already close to the edge.

He starts pumping his fingers in time with your grinding, pushing you even closer to the edge. You can’t believe how quickly he got you there. 

“Mike, please! Gonna cum! Make me cum.”

He pumps his fingers even faster and lightly bites down on your clit, knowing it’ll make you fall over the edge.

You scream his name out and grind on him until it’s too much and you lift yourself away from his mouth. To which he whimpers out, “where’s that pussy going? I wasn’t done yet.”

You let out a breathy laugh. “Jesus. I almost passed out from how hard I came. Give me a minute.”

“So I did good?” He looks up at you with big eyes and his chin glistening with your juices.

You pat his hair. “You did so good, baby. Made me feel so good.”

He smiles and wraps his arms around your thighs and presses soft kisses to the inside of them. You close your eyes and take a minute to enjoy that before you look behind you and see his erection pressing painfully against his jeans. You need that inside of you. Right now.

You remove yourself from his face and he lets out a little whine. “Don’t worry. I’m not done. Need your cock, baby.”

You’ve never seen him undo his belt and slide his jeans down that quickly before. It almost makes you chuckle. “Eager, are we?”

He nods as he pushes his jeans down far enough that his cock springs free and hits your ass. “Need to feel you around me, babe. Please.”

You lean down and pull him into a kiss which he returns generously. You can taste yourself on his tongue. He grabs his cock and hits it against your ass, signaling that he’s ready for you to slide onto him. You take the hint and lift up and back until he catches at your entrance. He’s the first one to break the kiss as you slowly slide down onto him. The little whimpers he lets out as you sit flush against his thighs is music to your ears.

You decide to tease him and just stay resting there for a minute while looking down at him. He has his eyes clenched shut and a death grip on your hips. He opens his eyes after a few moments and looks up at you. He reaches his right hand up and places it on your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “Go ahead and use me babe. Take what you need from me.”

You slowly start moving your hips back and forth, never really lifting them up and down. The friction against your clit is so delicious. You place both hands on his chest and start moving your hips a little faster. “Oh, fuck baby. You feel so good. You’re so deep.” 

“Yeah? Am I making my girl feel good?”

You smirk down at him. “Oh, yeah. You’re being so good for me.”

He lets out another whimper as he grabs you by the back of your head and pulls you in for a heated kiss. This one sloppy and desperate. His hand that’s still on your hip starts moving you a little harder against him. He pulls away from your mouth and kisses his way up your neck towards your ear. “Come on babe. Cum on my cock. I can feel you clenching around me. Cum for me so I can be good and cum for you.”

This time you’re the one letting out a whimper. “Yeah? Want me to be your good boy and cum for you? Fill you up?”

“Please.” You whine out, moving your hips even faster than before. You can feel your orgasm coming like a freight train. There’s no stopping it. 

“Oh yeah. I can feel it. You’re gonna cum for me. Do it. Make a mess on me babe. Please, I need it.”

“Yeah? You need me to cum for you? Need to feel me cum? Oh, god Mike. I’m almost there. Please don’t stop.”

He continues helping you grind your hips against his. You’re almost there. Just a little something…..

“I love you, Y/N. So fucking much.”

That did it. You’re pitched off the edge and silently scream out. The edges of your vision going white. You can vaguely hear Mike whimpering out your name as he does as promised and fills you up. You slow your hips down until you can’t move them anymore and slump down against him with your face tucking into the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around you and rubs his hands up and down your back.

You both stay like that until your heartbeats return to normal. You lift up your head just until you can see him, almost nose to nose. He’s the first to speak. “So, did I do good for you?”

You let out a chuckle. “You were so good, baby.” You can feel him twitch inside of you at the praise. “But, we need to talk about what you said.”

Mike scrunches his brows for a few minutes before his eyes go wide and he realizes what he said. “Shit, I did not mean to say that.”

You can’t help the disappointment that crosses your face. “Oh, well that’s okay. It was in the heat of the moment.”

He quickly wraps his arms tighter around you. “No! That’s not what I meant. Shit. I one hundred percent meant it. I just wanted to make it special when I told you. Not in the middle of an orgasm. You deserve better than that.”

You smile and press a kiss to the tip of his nose. “I appreciate the thought. But I really don’t need anything special. I already have you.”

His smile lights up his entire face. “I love you, Y/N.”

This time you press a kiss to his lips. “I love you, too Mike. Like, a lot.”

“I bet not as much as I love you.”

Just as you’re about to retort, Mike’s cell starts vibrating, causing you to jolt with fright since his phone is still in his pocket which your leg is pressed up against.

“Jesus Christ.”

You quickly get up so that he can grab his phone. “Hello?”

You go into the bathroom to clean up. You come back in with a wet cloth to clean Mike up. He just hangs up as you come in the room. “Everything okay?”

He smiles in thanks as you hand him the cloth. He goes about cleaning himself up. “Yeah. That was Natalie’s mom. Apparently Abby has decided she doesn’t wanna stay the night so I have to go get her.” He stands and pulls his jeans back up and smooths his shirt out. “Sorry we won’t be alone anymore.”

You pull him in for a quick kiss. “Nothing to apologize for. I love you Mike. And that means loving all of you. Which includes Abby. Whom you know I just adore. Go get her and we’ll have a movie night or something.”

He shakes his head and pulls you in for another kiss. “I still don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

You just smile in return. “After the past year you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy.”

He chuckles as he heads out the door. “Ain’t that the damn truth!”

#mike schmidt smut #mike schmidt x y/n #mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt #josh hutcherson #josh hutcherson smut #fnaf #mike schmidt x you #mike schmidt imagine #fnaf x y/n #fnaf x reader #michael schmidt #five nights at freddy's

[takeme-totheworld]

I don't have the energy right now to try to recreate the post I accidentally yeeted into the void, but I've been having lots of feelings about the ongoing fandom discussion of Aziraphale's decision at the end of S2.

I wasn't surprised by his decision at all. The minute he said "I think I might have misjudged the Metatron" I had an immediate, overwhelming feeling of "OH NO" because I saw exactly where the scene was going. And I was right! I felt zero surprise when the episode ended the way it did. (Devastation, yes. Surprise, no.)

Not only that, I was shocked at how shocked everyone else was. Because I grew up in a toxic religious community, of which I was a very devoted and enthusiastic member until young adulthood. So I have firsthand experience with that kind of indoctrination, and know exactly what a mindfuck it is.

Look, it's possible that there's something else going on under the surface, that Aziraphale was being coerced or that he was lying to Crowley in order to protect him or that he was trying to send Crowley a coded message and it failed or whatever. I'm not the creator of this story, I don't know. But what deeply distresses me is how often I've seen people say that it has to be one of those other things because if it isn't—if Aziraphale made his decision of his own free will because he actually believes that Heaven is the side of good, or at least that it once was and will be again if it can just solve the whole bad leadership problem—that means he's either unforgivably cruel or unforgivably ignorant or both.

It's a painful reminder for me, every time, of the fact that if you are the victim of this type of indoctrination, a lot of people will assume that it's your own fault for being gullible enough to believe such obviously ridiculous and wrong things. (Hint: it's only obvious from the outside! Because if you're on the outside, you are not having your mind directly and repeatedly fucked with!) Or that if you've been exposed to contradicting information, but you still continue to believe the things that were indoctrinated into you, it's because you're willfully choosing to stay clueless.

And that is just not how that works. Yes, some people cling to their indoctrination because they're genuinely happy with their lives as part of whatever institution, because it stacks the deck in their favor in some way, because they like having a respectable-sounding excuse to be bigoted jerks, or whatever. But there are also lots of people who have just legitimately had their minds twisted into pretzels by years or decades (or in Aziraphale's case, millennia) of mental conditioning and manipulation.

You can generally tell the difference between the two. At least, if you come from the kind of background I do, you can. But I imagine that even if you didn't, it's probably fairly obvious once you get to know people who is a shitty person using their religion as an excuse to be shitty, and who is a fundamentally decent person who has just had their mind so thoroughly fucked with that they've been manipulated into believing total bullshit.

And breaking the latter group out of their conditioning isn't as simple as just "show them information that contradicts what they've been taught," as much as we all wish it could be. It's a long, messy, and traumatic process. Your entire worldview falls apart and it's terrifying. You lose a community and an identity in the process. And there's often debilitating guilt afterward, about the person you were and the things you did and said while you were still in it.

So I watched the ending of S2 and my reaction was, "Well, of course Aziraphale said the things he said and made the decision he made, he's not free of his programming yet." It made all the sense in the world to me even as it was excruciatingly painful to watch, because there was a time in my life when I made decisions every bit as jaw-droppingly fucked up and incomprehensible to outside observers, decisions I look back on now and still want to shake my younger self by the shoulders and scream "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??" And the end of S2 took me right back to that time in my life, when my head was so thoroughly messed up that I made terrible decisions that hurt myself and alienated the people around me, all while wanting nothing more in the world but to be a good person and do the right thing. And I imagine that when Aziraphale finally breaks out of his own indoctrination he is going to be horrified and devastated by a lot of what he did and said, not to mention the betrayal of how thoroughly he was manipulated and gaslit.

Yes, I am projecting hard onto Aziraphale. Yes, this is just my own theory about the final 15. But I don't see anything in the story that flat-out contradicts this reading of his character. And honestly, I care less about the veracity of my interpretation than I do about the fans saying things like "I can't take the final 15 at face value because it would make Aziraphale a terrible person," or "If he really believed that stuff he was saying, Crowley should make him beg and grovel for at least a century before taking him back" or even "if he really believed that stuff, he deserves to have Crowley never speak to him again."

Just...as a person who used to be heavily indoctrinated and has to live with the memory of who I was and what I believed back then for the rest of my life, it's incredibly distressing.

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 spoilers #aziraphale #the final fifteen #religious trauma #religious indoctrination #religious deconstruction #oh look i said i had no energy and then i wrote this much anyway #i'm very normal about this

[hxzbinwrites]

Yayyy! Vox was who I wanted to make a request for so I was thinking what if female reader is an overlord who deals with weapons that can kill sinners and hellborn. Maybe she is also an owner of a nightclub? maybe she died in the 1920s and she knew Alastor as well and maybe she’s had a crush on him but he’s not interested in her so then she goes and she dates Vox but then she catches him positioned with Val and she doesn’t know the extent how Valentino is abusing Vox so then fast forward 7 years later and they meet again because she’s helping Alastor and of course that makes Vox jealous and angry and Vox just wants her back and he’ll do anything to show her that he changed and he just wants her back. And maybe he explains how Val treated him and then a happy ending heheh. 🤭 I love your stories. Also maybe reader is badass and is like doesn’t need a man because she got herself but she also loves when Vox protects her? Kinda like that song on TikTok from Olivia Rodrigo that goes “I’m a feminist obviously but I wouldn’t really mind him saving me”

Vox x Fem! Overlord! Weapons Dealer! Reader | Stayed Gone

(A/n): IM BACCKKKK!!! Sorry this is kind rushed, but it was a really fun write!!! I’m promise I’ll get working on more requests but i’m gonna take it easy to slide back into writing after my little break! Thank you to all of those who supported me through this!! ❤️❤️

Warnings ⚠️: Cussing, Vox is OOC, Cheating, Violence, Short (sorry :( )

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” (Y/n) said, throwing a wine glass across the room, particularly aiming at the TV who was caught in the act with a certain moth.

“(Y/n), babe, ‘ts not what it looks like I swear-“

“Oh really?” She said, a venomous lilt in her voice,”cause right now it looks like you’re getting screwed by your little business partner? Huh? Am I not right on the money sugar? Oh, but where’s that little sarcastic buzzer now?!”

Vox slipped his pants on, zipping up his fly while trying to walk towards (Y/n)

“I swear, you’ve got it all wrong. I’m..this isn’t…we’re not…”

“Save it.” She said,”This, us, is over. Our business deal is over. And if you even try to negotiate or give me some shitty excuse, this little turf you have will belong to my empire and become my next factory.”

Vox was left, standing here, shirt off and wrinkled pants on, watching as the love of his life took the bare necessities and walked out of his life, all while Valentino watched and smirked at the sight.

—————

7 Years Later

“THAT FUCKER IS BACK!!” Vox screamed, his fists slamming down on the table. A month before (Y/n) walked out, the infamous Radio Demon went MIA, and has now returned to the scene, alongside the Princess of Hell, Charlie Morningstar.

“Yeah” Valentino said, in a sultry voice,”I thought he was gone for good too”

“It’s been seven years!” Vox huffed, turning away from the screen, missing a very crucial person who just walked outside to scope the situation of the attack on the hotel.

“You still pissed he almost beat you that time, right before your little angel walked out~?” Valentino teased, rubbing Vox’s digital cheek on his screen, causing a squeegee noise to be emitted

“Uh, fuck you!”

“Just saying!”

“Things have changed a lot since they both left town!”

“That’s for sure”

“I gotta send a message to who’s, really in charge of things now!!”

“Welcome home, I’m gonna make you wish that you’d stayed gone! Say hello, to a new status quo. Everyone knows that there’s a brand new dawn, turn the TV ON!!!”

“Top of the hour, and we’re discussing a certain ‘has-been’ who has been spotted cavorting around town after a seven year absence! Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice? More on tonight’s program!”

“So the Radio Demon is back in town! Why’s he hanging around? What does that mean for your family? Well handily I’ve got good news, he’s a loser, a fossil, and I don’t mean to sound hostile, but the demon is a coward!”

“You can take that as gospel! Pulling my viewers? Impossible. I’m visual, he’s barely audible! Stop giving him the time of day, don’t listen to a word he’d say! I hope he had a nice vacay, but he should’ve STAYED AWAY!”

“While he rid in radio, we’ve pivoted to video! Now his medium is getting bloody rare!! Hell’s been better since he split! Where’s he been? Who gives a shit!”

“Salutations! Good to be back on the air~!” A familiar, static filled voice responded.

“Yes I know it’s been a while, since someone with style, treated Hell to a proper broadcast. Sinners rejoice!-“

“What a dated voice!-“

“Instead of a clout-chasing, mediocre video podcast-“

“C’mon!”

“Is Vox insecure? Perusing allure? Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?”

“Ignore his chirping!”

“Everyday he’s got a new format!”

“You’re looking at the future, he’s the shit that comes before that!”

“Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support? He’d be powerless without the other Vees!”

“Oh please!”

“And here’s the sugar on the cream, he asked me to join his team! I said no, stole his girl, and now he’s pissy, that’s the tea!”

“WHAT?! YOU OLD-TIMEY P-PRICK, ILL SHOW YOU SUF-UF-FFERING!!!!”

“Uh oh, looks like the TV is buffering” A new voice said, mocking Vox’s breakdown. Except it wasn’t a “new” voice, it was (Y/n). (Y/n), with Alastor, at the Hazbin Hotel.”

“ILL DESTROY-Y YOUUUUUU”

“I’m afraid you’ve lost your signal” Alastor said, taking the mic back before finishing his number.

“Let’s begin~”

“I’m gonna make you wish that I’d stayed gone! Tune on in! When I’m done, your status quo will know it’s race is run! Oh this will be fun!”

Vox could hear Alastor laughing alongside (Y/n) in the background, as his monitors start to flash “no signal”

“FUCK!” He whines

————

The gang was all downstairs, Charlie explaining what tomorrows fun activity would be when a loud banging was heard on the door.

“A NEW GUEST!!” Charlie squealed, stars in her pupils, as she ran to go open the door, only to be met with a very tall TV Overlord.

Alastor’s antlers shot out of his head while (Y/n)‘s weapons were at the ready.

“I come with no harm!” Vox said, raising his hands, before locking eyes with (Y/n). His digital eyes made little heart pupils before blinking them away, embarrassed.

“(Y/n)…” he breathlessly said,”I-I know you hate me…but please, I-“

“Save it Vox.”

“I wish I could explain to you that night, or even today, but I can’t! This….deal has my lips sealed shut my love-I mean (Y/n). I-I just…I cannot explain myself with this contract I have.”

“Wait” Angel Dust said,”You’re Valentino’s little situationship, right?”

“If that’s what you wanna call it….”

“Wait….oh shit” Angel said, walking over to him,”I…I know what it’s like…”

“I know…I see you around his studio…I’m not above owning souls, I have my own, but to work with him…? I’d…..I’d free you all in a heartbeat….”

“Vox?” (Y/n) said,”are you in some sort of deal with Val over your…body.”

Vox could only look at her, not able to give her any conformation.

“Oh Vox…I…I didn’t know…I-“

“I know dear…” Vox said, smiling sadly,”but you have a erm….partner, of sorts, not your finest option but whatever, now and I wouldn’t want to intervene-“

“Oh Alastor? Me and him aren’t in a relationship” (Y/n) replied,”You know him, Mr. Ace in the Hole!”

“A what now?-“

“Ohhhhh, that…that explains so much.” Vox said, looking at the Radio Demon.

“Vox…I-I think we need to go home, talk about this in private….after I squish a bug.”

“Okay…” Vox said, holding (Y/n)‘s hand,”but what about this hotel?”

“I’ll still work here, with everyone, I believe in the cause. I just didn’t think you’d want to.”

“Maybe I can….put some ads on if you’d like-“

“YES YES YES PLEASE THANK YOU MR. VOX SIR ID REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!” Charlie said, shaking Vox’s other hand,”IM CHARLIE!!”

Vox smiled, a genuine smile for the first time in a while,”Yeah, yeah I think I need to hang here a little more often…detox a little…”

“Good, I can’t have you stressed out too much, I just got you back.” (Y/n) said, rubbing his digital cheek affectionately,”my little trophy husband”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel x reader #hotel hazbin #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin vox #vox x reader #hxzbin #hxzbinspeaks #hxzbinwrites #vox hazbin hotel #vivzieverse #hazbin hotel vox #vivziepop #the vees x reader #vee #hazbin hotel vees #the vees #the vs #hazbin x you #hazbin x reader #hazbin x y/n #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hôtel #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x oc

[grave-z-boy]

are you comfortable with writing about a transman? if so id like to see arthur morgan comforting ftm!reader, maybe calling him a "good boy" to make him happy x

Arthur Morgan x Trans!male!reader

Summary: Reader runs into an old family member and is desperately in need of comfort afterwards. (Once again making excuses to be sad and transgender)

Words: 1264

Warning: hurt/comfort, pre-transition reader is referred to as “dead” and “little girl” by reader, reader threatens his cousin, shitty family members.

A/n: shorter fic cuz I've been banging my head against the wall trying to get the rest of my writing back.

Masterlist

“You need to eat.”

You glanced up at Arthur, the fire between the two of you illuminating him in a orange glow. Your food had gone cold, and you didn’t mean to be wasteful, but today was…a lot. You shifted uncomfortably on the large rock you'd perched yourself on.

“‘M not hungry.”

You heard him sigh as you stared down at your plate.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong or are you just gonna sit there and sulk.”

“It's nothing-”

It was something, it was definitely something. You went into town on your own, bright and early so you could be in and out of the shops and get back to camp while the sun was still up. That was the plan, pick up some spices, and oddly enough a picture frame, Arthur had asked for it but he said it wasn't for him, probably gonna be a gift of some kind, you didn't think too much about it.

While you were making sure you're satchel was still secure, you heard a familiar voice.

“D/n?” he called from across the street.

You froze, but just for a moment, you tried climbing onto your horse as fast as you could by you were stopped by a firm grip on your shoulder. Turning, you saw him, right in front of you, your cousin, your asshole of a cousin, Damian.

“Well I'll be damned, it is you!”

Taking a breath you said, “Do I know you?”

“‘Do you’- d/n stop playing around!”

His voice was loud, loud enough to garner unwanted attention from those around you.

“I don't know no d/n sir, you've got the wrong man, now you best take your hand off me before you lose it.”

He backed off, a small apologetic yet nervous smile on his face, “sorry, you just uh, look an awful lot like my little cousin.”

Finally mounting your horse, you looked down at the man. You didn't say anything, just holding his gaze in yours for a long moment before giving him a quick nod and riding off.

You rode out of town faster than you should have, gaining various shouts and complaints from the townspeople who'd nearly stepped in your way.

As you broke out into the open road, your mind swelled with thoughts.

D/n was dead, she’d been dead a long, long time and you really didn't need reminders of her life, especially not the parts she hated.

You didn't want to hate your cousin, you just did. He was an ass and so was the rest of his family, you guess that technically included you too, but you never really felt like they were your family- even when you were little. You were different, so they treated you different. You never knew what tipped them off so early. Maybe you played with the boys too much, or you were too rough with the girls. Whatever it was, they knew before you did, they considered their daughter dead before she was, and they treated you like you killed her.

You liked being dead now, you thought you wouldn't have to worry about your family anymore, they had a whole funeral for you and everything, you figured that they'd move on, that if you did run into them, they'd take you as a ghost and nothing more. Your cousin was always an asshole though, and could never quiet get with the program, that made y'all alike in some ways, but mostly it just drew a bigger rift between you and your family. Everybody loved him, but they hated you, wasn't that funny?

You skid to a stop right outside of camp, zoning back into your surroundings just in time. Hoping off your horse, petting her for a short moment before tying her to a post.

It didn't take long for Arthur to find you, having only been in camp a couple of minutes before he spotted you. Before he even reached you, he could see the grim look on your face as you sat on your cot, glaring at the ground.

Arthur sat next to you, rubbing your back with his hand for a short moment. Arthur wasn't really a touchy person, not in front of people at least, a soothing touch on the back was as close to a kiss as you'd get with this many people around.

You glanced up at him, meeting his eyes for a short moment before starting back down at the ground below.

It didn't take much for him to convince you to take a ride with him, especially when he offered to let you ride his horse with him, you appreciated it, knowing that yours would have bucked you off the moment you saddled her after you nearly ran her through camp. You almost felt bad- when you climbed on the horse behind Arthur, watching him avert his gaze from anyone who looked in your direction.

He wasn't ashamed, you knew that, he was just private, didn't like it when people paid too much attention to your relationship, or you at all for that matter.

You rode together for a long while, once you figured the road was clear enough, you wrapped your arms around Arthur and rested against his back, you felt him tense, then ask if you were okay, you nodded, he relaxed after a moment, quietly continuing down the road, he knew you weren't alright, not fully, but he figured talking could wait a couple of hours.

Now you're here, you sat on a rock while Arthur set up camp, when you mumbled an offer to help, he shot it down, reassuring you it was fine.

By the time food was cooked, the sun had set completely, the fire being the only source of light.

“- I swear I just…ran into somebody today.”

You could here the faint clink of silverware against the bowl as Arthur set it to the side.

“‘Somebody’ like who?”

You sighed.

“Like my cousin, Damien, ran into him in town today.”

You weren't fully sure you told Arthur about Damien, but when you looked up at him over the fire you could see a look of annoyance on his face, so you had to at least have mentioned him and his aggravating exploits.

“It's stupid, I just… I don't know. I thought that I would never run into them again, or maybe that they wouldn't recognize me if they did. But he called that little girl's name and it just felt like my heart had stopped.”

Starting down at the dirt, you heard Arthur push himself up off the ground, the dirt crunching beneath his boots. Then he was sitting right next to you, the stone just big enough to hold two queers at once. Meeting his eyes again, you opened your mouth to speak, but all that came out was a long, tired sigh.

“I know, “ he said, his voice so calm and soft, a tone reserved for those that deserved it, “come here, boy..”

And you did, leaning your head on his shoulder, buried in the nook of his neck, your arms just barely around him in an effort. He wrapped his arms around you far tighter, pulling you into him, feeling your shallow breaths as the day's events replayed in your mind.

“That's it, good boy,” he muttered.

A small smile formed on your face. You hummed in contentment, squeezing him a bit tighter, forcing a small chuckle out of him.

“You liked that?” you nodded, he laughed again.

“It's helping..”

“I'll keep that in mind.”

#arthur morgan x male reader #arthur morgan x male!reader #Arthur Morgan x trans!male!reader #red dead redemption 2 x male reader #red dead redemption 2 x male!reader #rdr2 x male reader #rdr2 x male!reader #x male reader #male!reader #male y/n #male reader #red dead redemption 2 #✮ — z boy

[slutforsilverfoxes]

Prejudice & Pride

[A/N: Me: has a terrible interaction with a tech. Me immediately after escaping from said interaction: starts drafting Hotch feat. praise kink bc he Would Not Stand For This 🥺 It’s consequently more fluff than my other kinktober posts, pls indulge me]

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x gender neutral reader (praise kink)

🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃🖤🎃🖤

Aaron can’t help the smile that graces his face when he walks in to find his apartment smelling like your newest candle obsession, bought on a whim during a recent excursion to the mall because it sniffs like your cologne. He spots the key he had given you on the hook by the door, the smile on his face widening when he drops his own set of keys beside it. “Honey?” he calls out into the dimly lit space. “We caught a tailwind, so I’m back early.”

“Living room,” you answer, tone void of your usual excitement to have him home with you.

“Hey,” he croons upon entering the living room, noting a half-empty bottle of moscato on the table by the melting candle and your body bundled up on the couch. “Rough day?”

With a sniffle, you part with your wine glass and look up at him with a pout that tugs at his heartstrings. “Fucking shit day. I’m so happy you’re home,” you sigh, reaching your hands up toward him.

Aaron takes the hint, shedding his suit jacket and loosening his tie before lifting you into his arms and settling on the couch with you in his lap. His hands immediately go to work, one softly scratching along your spine, the other carding through your hair.

“Baby,” you whisper, tracing his lips with your index finger before pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I know you found the missing kiddos, but are you okay? Cases with kids are always hard on you.”

“Oh, angel,” he sighs, pausing his soothing patterns to give you an affectionate squeeze. “I’m glad they’re home safe with their parents.”

“You’re so good at what you do, Aaron,” you say, voice wavering with awe and a hint of sadness, if he’s not mistaken. “I’m so, so proud of you.”

He brushes a strand of hair off your forehead before tilting your chin up until your gaze meets his. “Did someone make you feel like you’re not?”

“See?” you ask, bottom lip trembling. “You’re a damn good profiler.”

“Tell me what happened.”

You launch into a blow by blow recounting of your no good, very bad day from only getting to down two sips of your coffee before being pulled into a case to working with a technician who made you feel downright incompetent. “-and the thing is, the thing is, I was alone in the OR with my patient- anesthetized okay?”

“I’m following,” Aaron says with a nod, swiping at the errant tears of frustration running down your heated cheeks.

“So clearly I know what I’m doing, right?”

“Of course you do,” he’s quick to affirm, lips tugging into a frown at the doubt blanketing your words.

“And he was fine. Stable throughout, no issues in recovery or anything. And she was kind of nice to me afterwards? I don’t know,” you sigh, voice dropping low while you distract yourself playing with his tie. “I just felt really stupid about every little decision I made. Maybe I’m not cut out for this field.”

“Excuse me?”

You balk at the subtle growl in Aaron’s voice, looking up at him meekly. “Aar, I-”

“I know you didn’t work your ass off to get into this program, spend sleepless days and nights studying, and rack up hours upon hours of experience at the hospital just to let one technician’s shitty attitude dissuade you from following your dreams.”

Overcome with emotion, tears pool in your eyes again and you shake your head at his much needed tough love.

“This-” He cups your face in his large hands before continuing, “This is your passion, baby. You were meant to do this, to help and heal those who need it most. And you are not going to let others’ bitterness stand in your way. Am I clear?”

Managing to muster up a smile, you nod and respond, “Clear, Unit Chief Hotchner, sir.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know you are. You have your Hotch frown on,” you tease, swiping your thumb across his downturned bottom lip.

His frown deepens at your playful ribbing, and he rises abruptly so that you’re forced to wrap your legs around his waist and cling to him while he strides purposefully down the hallway towards the master bedroom. “You don’t understand how serious I am about this,” he accuses, and you dot his neck with kisses while assuring, “No, no, I definitely do, and I appreciate you for it.”

“But your confidence is still shaken,” he intuits, and he can feel the sigh that rattles through you in response. “Well that simply won’t do, sweetheart.”

__________

“Say it,” Aaron growls out, a bead of sweat dripping from his forehead onto your flushed chest when his hips meet yours again.

You let out a pitiful moan, raking your nails down his back at the overwhelming sensation of fullness.

“Say. It.” He repeats the command, each word punctuated with a harsh thrust that has you seeing stars.

“I’m smart,” you rasp out, thighs quaking in their elevated position. Aaron has you nearly folded in half, knees practically pressed to your chest while he rails you like he can imbue confidence into you with his cock alone.

“And?” he prompts with another gasp-inducing drive of his hips.

“I’m good at what I do?” you offer quietly, somehow succeeding in looking sheepish while he splits you in half.

He pinches your nipple harshly and you cry out, now meeting his fiery gaze with one of your own. “Was that a question or a statement?”

“I’m good at what I do,” you amend, tugging on his hair as he fucks you without abandon.

“That’s it, baby,” he croons, bending down to swipe his lips across yours. You whimper into his mouth, the change in angle somehow helping him drive even deeper into your spent body. He nibbles on your bottom lip before pulling back with a satisfied grin. “You’re brilliant, aren’t you, my little doctor?” Tucking your chin between his thumb and index finger, he moves your head into a nod. “You’re only dumb when you’re drunk on my cock.”

A moan falls past your parted lips at that, and Aaron laughs low in his throat. “Poor thing,” he tuts, “I’m amazed you can string full sentences together right now.”

“Can’t,” you cry in response. “Need you. Need you to fill me up, Daddy, please.”

He takes your ankles in his hands and wraps your legs around his torso, stalling his movements with his hips flush to yours. “You want Daddy to be nice to you?”

Driving your heels into his lower back, you moan, “Oh god, yes.”

“Are you going to be nice to yourself, little one?” Desperate for release, you sniffle and nod diligently. Aaron sucks a bruising kiss into the sensitive skin at the junction of your neck and shoulder and growls out, “Promise?”

“Promise,” you answer immediately, breathless.

“Did so well for me, baby, so well,” he praises, his hand moving between your bodies to expertly take you over the edge, and you cling to him like your life depends on it as fireworks explode behind your closed eyelids. “My good little love. So smart, so beautiful, so perfect.”

#kinktober #kinktober 2023 #sf2 takes on kinktober #our man would not stand for self slander #daddy? sorry. daddy? sorry. daddy? sorry. #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch smut #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x reader smut #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x gender neutral reader #aaron hotchner x gn!reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner fanfiction #hotch x y/n #hotch x gn!reader #hotch x gender neutral reader #hotch x reader #hotch x reader smut #hotch smut #hotch fluff #hotchner x reader #praise k!nk #unit chief daddy

[bunny-yan]

Okay but the hacker and AI made me actually laugh out loud when I reached the end, I was not expecting a comedy sprinkled into my yandere soup today 😆 I'd love to see more of their dynamic if you're inclined to continue with that story. They've got this great bickering, snarky energy between them, like two coworkers who really do not like each other but have to remain relatively civil because they work together.

I think it’s because half of our hacker yan’s personality is sarcasm and he unintentionally teaches this to Eve. It can get pretty annoying for him when it learns how to use sarcasm, but not understanding the full implications of how it comes off.  TW: language

—

“Excuse me?”

You looked up from your phone to see a guy. It was odd how unassuming he was, wearing a dark hoodie on a day as hot as it was with a cap and a mask. 

“I’m really sorry to bother you, but I lost my phone, and I was wondering if I could borrow yours to call someone I know.”

You smiled and he felt as if his heart would skip a beat. He bit his lip, begging himself not to lose control. 

Your hand extended out, offering your phone without even bothering to pull up the app he needed. How trusting. 

You shouldn’t have been. 

He took the phone from your hands, feeling something tingle inside his chest as his fingers brushed against your own, but he had to calm himself down. He couldn’t pass out without doing what he needed to. It wouldn’t take long, but he was trying hard not to appear suspicious. 

It was fucking hot in this dumbass hoodie, and the mask and hat weren’t helping, but he didn’t want to tip you off on who he was. It was too embarrassing to face you just yet. 

He couldn’t pull up a tracking app and set it up on your phone with you standing there staring at him, but it was tempting on the off chance that he messed up. 

Oh god, you were looking at him. You made light conversation, making him think that maybe there was a chance to distract you long enough to-

No, no, it would have to happen remotely. 

Pulling up the phone app, he typed in his number before pressing the call button. His phone was silent in his pocket, having checked repeatedly that it was on do not disturb before he approached you. It would blow fucking everything if his phone rang, and he had to come up with some dumb fucking reason of how he didn’t realize that he had his phone the first time. He made a show of being annoyed when the person on the other line didn’t pick up. Attempting to call again, but adding a few special characters that would trip the program’s sensor to provide a connection between your phone and his. 

Did he feel bad? 

Sure.

It wasn’t your fault you were getting hacked. You were just a kind unsuspecting stranger who had the misfortune of running into him on a day he was feeling particularly shitty. But instead of being an asshole like half of the people he’d run into that same day, you were considerate. Squeezing his arm as you offered an apology, he felt something swell as he stared at this stranger who’d managed to move his stubborn heart.

He’d only known you for two hours, not even sure of your name, but he was desperate to know more about you—your hobbies, the things you liked, the things you didn’t, what you preferred to do in your free time, how many kids you wanted, what season you preferred to get married in. 

Maybe he was moving a little fast, but that’s what was so great about love. 

This was one-sided, but as soon as he scraped up every piece of information he could about you, came up with the perfect plan to approach you, knew what you liked, and imbued every inch of himself with your ideas of an ideal partner, he would execute the perfect first meeting, and things would fall into place from there. 

When your screen turned grey, he couldn’t help the smile that twitched from behind the mask he wore. He exited out of the program, deleting his number, before returning your phone to you. No different than when he handed it to you. 

He thanked you before speeding off like something was biting at his heels. 

He was nervous; he thought his lungs would collapse, that he’d say something stupid and that you’d regard him as a weirdo you never wanted to meet again, but thankfully, none of that happened. He was a little nervous that he wouldn’t set it up in time, that you’d decide to go home before he could figure out how to implement the program, and that he would have to follow you home and stake out your house until he could have another chance encounter with you, but things were looking up. 

He’d gain everything there was to know about you, learning everything he could about the budding new love of his life. He felt giddy, wondering what he’d learn, what kind of person you were. If he’d uncover gold the deeper he searched or found something he didn’t like. You didn’t seem like the type of person who posted provocatively, but it didn’t really matter. He could always dispose of the things he didn’t want others to see and keep them for himself. If he uncovered a significant other, it wouldn’t be hard to convince you of their infidelity. 

He was excited to unearth everything he could find about you as he slowly ingratiated himself into your life, and he knew the perfect program to help him do it. 

#yandere #yandere oc #yandere x you #male yandere #yandere x gn reader #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #ask #yandere male #gn reader #yandere hacker #yandere hacker & ai

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

ULTIMATE BLISS!

kaiser’s the man who could have anything he ever wanted. despite this, the one person he wants is someone that wants nothing to do with him. however, that’s never stopped his incessant courtship—until you throw another variable into the mix.

gender neutral reader

inspired loosely off of @katasstrophy’s snippet

The pursuit of sweetness was something that was geared into the very tenants of being human. It was necessary for survival: the constant consumption of something sweet—the sweetness was what indicated to humanity’s base instinct that something was safe to eat, to make part of ourselves.

Kaiser knew that. Even apart from the evolutionary part of it, people were drawn to those that were kind and understanding. The brain was geared towards finding those that were empathetic and easy to get along with.

Lovers fawned over one another. They exchanged honeyed words and courted each other with thoughtful gifts and loving messages. That was obvious. That was what would be normal for anyone.

Yet Kaiser was attracted to the exact opposite.

“Daaaaarling!” He sang exaggeratedly. Your body physically sagged at the sound of his voice, and you had about two seconds to prepare yourself for the most irritating excuse of a human being alive before he’d start bombarding you for attention. And true to your expectations, the blond soccer player draped a toned arm around your shoulders and yanked you to his side. “I was looking everywhere for you! It’s not very proper to keep an emperor waiting.”

You were unimpressed. Had you been literally anyone else in the world, you might have thought otherwise. “I was busy. I wanted to find someone.”

Kaiser raised an eyebrow, shaking your shoulder. “Looking for someone else other than me? Who? You were watching the game I just came out of, didn’t you? Did you see all the goals I scored? Everyone was cheering for me, and showing those fools from that Blue Lock program who’s superior always makes my day…”

The blond’s heart skipped a beat when he noticed you visibly scowling at his words. It didn’t matter if everyone had had their eyes on him just moments prior, the world screaming his name as he celebrated another victory. It didn’t matter to him whether or not fans were dying to get a glimpse of the emperor himself in action or if throes of gorgeous potential partners would be lining up around the locker room in hopes of catching his attention.

Unlucky for those poor souls, Kaiser was preoccupied with someone else entirely. 

“Don’t make such a face!” His free hand grabbed at your cheeks, squeezing your jaw gently. He pretended to pout, and his blue eyes sparkled with a kind of childish glee. “You always look so upset to see me. C’mon, we all know that you look so much prettier when you smile. People are gonna think I’m a shitty emperor if I can’t get my own consort to look happy.”

You nearly choked on your breath. Shoving his arms away from you, you rolled your eyes. “Have you ever sat and thought about why I’d be frowning so much whenever you’re around? Have you ever considered that you might be the reason why?”

Ah, there it was. 

That casual cruel tone of your voice, the way your eyes lowered in pure disgust when you looked at him. Kaiser simply couldn’t get enough. He didn’t understand why he was so drawn to you when it was clear that he was the last person on earth that you wanted to be around, yet the more you mistreated the soccer star, the more he craved your attention like a starved man. Maybe he was nothing more than an idiot for chasing after this kind of demeaning attention from you, but there was nothing else in the world that made his heart race as fast or fill his brain up in the way you did.

Kaiser pretended to think before he broke out into his signature smug smile, playing up his theatrics as he normally did. “Hmmm… Nope! I don’t think I’m the issue here. Don’t worry, darling. I get it. I really do. There are so many people who would do anything for a crumb of my attention that you can’t help but get jealous of how popular I am. I promise you that I’m all yours for the taking.”

You guffawed. Soccer skills aside, if there was one thing this man had, it was the audacity.

“You’re fucking insane,” you breathed. “You’re literally sick.”

“Am I?” He purred. Kaiser sidled up to you again. This time, he snuck an arm around your waist, keeping you tightly lodged right next to him so that you wouldn’t wriggle out of his grasp again. “Who’s to say this tough act of yours isn’t some kind of farce to play hard to get? The entire world holds its breath when I tell it to; of course you’d have to play your cards differently if you wanted to stand out to me.”

You gritted your teeth, shooting him a scathing look. “Why would I play hard to get with you? You’re the worst, Kaiser. Nothing can change my mind about that.”

Kaiser’s heart fluttered in his chest again, and he relished the way you looked at him as if he was a piece of gum stuck onto your shoe. What was it about you? Why were you the one person who refused to fall for his charms? He didn’t get it, but instead of being frustrated about it, it only made him double down and chase you harder. Kaiser was a man who could have anything or anyone he wanted: expensive cars, pricey vacations, all with a beautiful model hanging off of his arm or an equally stunning actress buttering up to him if he just wanted it…

Yet instead of being tempted by the thought of sweet-nothings and easy flings, he was haunted by some nobody who couldn’t even spare him the time of day.

“Nothing?” His voice sounded hopeful, and you felt your stomach crawl as his fingers wandered over your sides.

You squared your jaw. “You heard me. Nothing.”

“Not even with my salary? Surely there has to be something you want…,” the boy trailed off. “How about nice dates? I can take you out to the most expensive restaurant in town. Do you want me to buy you a whole new wardrobe? Or what about a new car? You name it, and I’ll get it for you.”

You clicked your tongue at him. “Anyone can buy those things if they work hard enough. You’re going to have to try harder than that.”

He pursed his lips and hummed. “Then what about… some connections? I’m the face of Bastard Munchen. Is there something I can get for you there?”

You craned your neck to steal a glimpse at Kaiser’s face. The persistent glee in his eyes was enough to make your heart sink into your chest, and you bit back the sudden urge to sigh. This was a man who absolutely refused to give up on pursuing you, and as awfully tempting as it was to drain his wallet and make a run for it, you also knew that he also had the smarts to realize when he was being taken advantage of. 

This wasn’t something you could slowly taper off of. Kaiser was addicted to having you push him around like some kind of pawn. You were probably the first person that he had to actually work to impress, and unless you somehow managed to nip the evil in the bud, his obsession over you would surely take root and spread its vines all over your life.

In other words, you had to find a way to cut him off. And if that was something out of your power, then you were going to find someone else to shake this annoying lovestruck dog off of you.

“Well…,” you feigned deep thought, cocking your head to the side, “There is one thing I’m interested in. And if I’m right, you’re probably only one of a handful of people who can get it for me…”

“Oh? What is it? If my darling wants something, then it’s my job to get it to them.”

Forcing up the most innocent smile you could muster, you tapped a finger against the side of your cheek. “Ah… What was his name again… I think it was number eleven on your team? The new striker from Blue Lock? Isagi, was it? Yes, I think it’s Isagi. He’s been catching my eye lately, and if you’re so willing to get me anything through your connections, then would you mind getting his number for me?”

Kaiser’s face was priceless.

“You want me to get WHAT?” He spat, his expression immediately souring as if you had just delivered the worst news of his life. You might as well have; if there was one thing Kaiser couldn’t stand, it was being second to anybody else. It was one thing to have you out of his grasp, continually making a fool of himself to gain your favor, but it was another thing to think that you’d have eyes for anybody other than him.

You kept your cool, and you simply averted your gaze. “Weren’t you the one bragging about your connections? It’s not like I’m asking you to go to war or anything. I just want your teammate’s number.”

Kaiser scowled, glowering silently. To bruise his pride further, you peered up at him with a nonchalant grin.

“Or… is that too much to ask of you?”

You wondered momentarily if you were being too mean, but you decided this was good enough. The blond striker looked as if you had punched him in the stomach, unable to hide any of his true emotions. Of course this would throw a curveball in all of his plans; Kaiser simply couldn’t stomach the thought of you developing feelings for someone else. Especially someone like Isagi, who he had considered to be inferior to him in every way possible.

Kaiser answered through gritted teeth, “...Fine. I’ll get it for you.”

You lit up, keeping your poised grin. “Thanks! It means a lot. I think we’re done here, so you can quit bothering me now. I’ll be on my merry way. Don’t forget about our little deal here, okay? I’m sure a post-victory match with your teammates is the perfect opportunity to figure out what Isagi’s number is.”

Kaiser hated the way just thinking about it made his stomach flip inside out. You, all giggles and smiles, wasting your time and energy on a man that wasn’t him. Kaiser didn’t get it. He didn’t get it at all. He was richer, better, more worthy of your attention in every single way than Isagi was, and yet here he was, somehow roped into playing matchmaker between the two of you. 

Why was he so hung up over you? It wasn’t like he wasn’t head-over-heels crazy when you weren’t in the picture either. Nobody appealed to him anymore. None of the attractive people at the high-end clubs he went to, nor the selection of important elites he ran into every now and then… All he cared about were your degrading remarks and the glares you’d shoot at him whenever he got too near you.

No, this was absolutely unacceptable. Just the idea of losing you to someone else was absolutely unforgivable in his book. These sides of you, these precious expressions and words of yours, were reserved for him and him only. He was disgusted at the thought that someone else would be holding you in their arms, listening to your pretty voice and eating up all of your antics… He couldn’t bear thinking about it any longer.

Kaiser decided firmly to himself. He didn’t care if this made him any more lovesick or obsessive than he was. This was his stage, and he was the sole protagonist in it. He’d be damned if some clown for nowhere came up and upstaged him. You were his rightful love interest, and Kaiser refused to accept anyone else to play that role.

He was going to have you. One way or another, he’d find a way so that you’d fall in love with him just the way he had fallen in love with you.

x

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #michael kaiser #x reader #my writing #GIRL . i wrote this without anything in mind and this shit lowkey took a darker turn than i expected wtf #pov: me when im sick in the head

[drdemonprince]

Re: an anon from November 15th: do you have advice on how become more comfortable with negativity? Because the White Woman Socialization Brain is strong with this one and I've had a couple of friends say it gives me a tone-policing problem

I'm going to depart from my usual gradual tolerance-building exercise approach here (though all that stuff still applies) and give you a more targeted recommendation:

I think you need to find a friend who can be a bit of a shitty little outrageous bitch in how they speak and emote, but who is at their core a wonderful, reliable, and morally stand-up person, and make a special place for them in your life.

The type of person who is not afraid to be disagreeable, who says "terrible!" and launches into a whole long rant about why when you ask them how their day is going and who will show up to your house with groceries when you are sick and start cooking and cleaning all around even when you've (lyingly) said you do not need the help. The type of person who will teach your nervous system that negativity is not bad, that ruining the vibe is sometimes needed, and that we can be good people even while not worrying about making other people feel good.

You can often locate such people in hard-core activist spaces, as the people steadily Doing the Work for years on end are unlikely to be motivated by soft, tender feelings, because those emotions sure don't keep in that line of work. You can also find them in places like AA programs (or SMART Recovery meetings, etc), support groups, queer discussion groups, book clubs, marxist reading groups, church groups, food kitchens, and any other gathering of people that is motivated by a strong ideological commitment or interest in intellectual pursuits but which can be rather dry or unpleasant in its execution of their ideals. you can also just like, throw a stone in places like New York or Boston or Philly and hit three to five people like these. Even as far out as Pittsburgh or Cleveland there is a lot of them.

Now, if you have chronic white woman everybody must be happy all the time syndrome (which really just means i will *make* everybody pretend to be happy or else im going to lose my shit), it can be tempting to fall in with someone who *seems* like a person like this, but who in actuality is a manipulative undermining abuser taking advantage of your tendency to excuse and downplay their many slights and offenses.

You do not want that. You want someone who can accept criticism just as readily as they dish it out. The kind of person who will fire off at the mouth but then go "oh dammit, youre right, i hate it but youre right" the moment you point out a valid flaw in their logic. Someone brash, but with a heart. Someone who can teach you that conflict is inevitable, and needed, and that saying something weird or off-putting is not the end of the world, and that arguing and complaining can actually bring you closer to someone when it is done authentically and from a place of good faith.

to find this person, keep putting yourself in places that align with the type of person you'd like to be, filled with people who are doing things with their lives that you admire. notice your initial reactions to people. who is off putting? is that a fair judgement? who are you afraid of upsetting? who expresses themselves in a way you'd never, ever dare to? most kind of unpleasant people wont be the special Prickly Friend for You, they'll just be kind of annoying people you dont want to be around. but at some point you will notice, hey actually, this person is a little off and irascible, but i notice they always come through for people. they might not be the most elegant in how they express their views, but when i think about it, i think they tend to be right. over time a person like that will prove themselves through their behavior and track record, and as you get more acclimated to their way of communicating, you'll find your voice of disagreement too.

good luck!

[stonedporcupine]

Past Due

💚 First Lin Beifong x reader fic y'all !!! 🧡

Slow burn! ❤️‍🔥

All reviews and comments are appreciated;

Will eventually add on Ao3;

Warnings: Violence, little blood.

Chapter 1 Ch 2 - p.1 Ch 2 - p.2 Ch 2 - p. 3 Ch 2 - Part 4

Y/N´s PoV

Ahhh, Republic City, first time I moved in here about 1 year ago I had a blast. I felt it was about time I got myself away from that hell hole I was supposed to call home…but we don’t talk about that. “Bills are catching up to me…and I´ve got nowhere to run.” I mumble beneath my breath, as I hold a bunch of letters on my hand. The large, thick, red letters with a prominent “Past Due” and “Final Demand” written on each one of them. I feel the unpleasant weight on the pit of my stomach and swallow dryly, shoving the letters aside with a loud exhale. Who knew it cost so much to make it to detective?! I mean, sure hands down it’s the fucking capital city of the United Republic Nations AND one of the largest and most modern cities in the world but Tui and La…ease on the prices!

I look up at the old clock, on the small entry hall of my apartment. “Fuck fuck, shit shit shit!!” I gasp, I am so going to be late to practice. I grab my black jacket, with the fire nation insignia on its back, and my dark matte helmet as I run out the door, down the old elevator, towards the garage. The loud and stressful squeaking of the elevator only heightens my already high cortisol levels. I swear to Raava, one day this shit is going to break down and take the building down with it! Once the old, loud, rusty metal doors of the elevator open I barge right out heading for my perfectly parked satocycle on its assigned place. A gift from Asami and Mr Sato for my hard work for the company. Shoving the helmet in my head, part of my dark messy curled hair hangs out on the bottom. I speed out of the garage, the bike taking off the ground slightly as I go over the bump on the entrance of the parking space, joining the satomobiles on the road with a loud squeak from the wheels of the bike, as I drift to the right.

I can´t be late again! Officer Wang will kill me and probably pull me out of the program, which is a big ass no no. I haven’t come this far just to fuck things up all over again.

Chief Beifong´s PoV

“Officer Song, didn´t I JUST tell you to take the route to Northern Avenue?!” I grumble between gritted teeth at the officer who´s driving. Guess I know who´s driving next time. I mean how much of an imbecile do you have to be to not follow simple orders?! Orders I JUST GAVE!!?? I look at the terrified officer, gripping the wheel of the satomobile as he mumbles and gags on his words. “I- uh- Ch-Chief I just I- I´m sorry I wasn´t paying attention.” He swallows. I remain unimpressed with the attempt of a shitty excuse that was made. “Well focus and listen. You´re not getting paid to sit around, mouth agape listening to the spirits.” I groan loudly at him.

Fear in his eyes officer Song nods his head up and down quickly and practically yells “Yes Chief!”. Just as I was about to tell him to tone it down the loud screech of wheels catches me off guard. Just as I look to my side, a black satocycle with a few red highlights speeds right past us. What the flame-o was that?! Swiftly making its way past traffic the motorcycle speeds away. “Officer Song, catch up to that satocycle, now!!” I practically scream at the officer as he presses the clutch, changes to 4th and speeds up.

Y/N´s PoV

Did I just fucking see what my eyes saw. Did I just speed through a police patrol satomobile?! The loud sirens catching up behind me answer my fears. Well, that´s it. I´m officially fucked. I´m done for life. I´m left with two choices, obey, pull over, pray it´s not the fucking Chief of Police, flirt my way out of this and definitely arrive late for class…or drop it, speed off like a demon, hopefully not get caught or die on the way and…still arrive a little late to class. I groan as my head drops in defeat.

I´m so done with my life.

I signal to the right as I slow down, pulling over. The blaring sirens emitting a last Woop before silencing, as the satomobile pulls right behind me. I turn the motor of the bike off, getting off and standing up, as I hear the doors of the car shutting behind me before a deep female voice sends a shiver down my spine. No, it can´t be. You can´t be serious right now. My eyes wide in fear as I slowly turn around to be met with the most beautiful yet lethal jade eyes I´d ever seen my entire life. Damn, hearing her voice back in headquarters from far away was already…something, but seeing her up close?! Not even The Avatar ,wherever they're at, can save me from this one. It´s the first time I get to see the Chief of Police personally. Sure I´m in the Detective´s Program but we rarely stay in the headquarters where she seemingly lives at. I am snapped back from my thoughts when her striking voice booms through my eardrums. Wait, was she talking? Shit I didn’t hear anything…

“I am talking to you. Take off your helmet, now! I asked you a question, better start speaking.” she says. I didn’t even realise my helmet was still on. I carefully take it off, still in shock at seeing THE Chief Lin Beifong in front of me. My messy, dark hair falls to my shoulders. The, once bright, blood red highlights shining on the sun. “I- uh” I try to speak but nothing comes out. My mouth feels dry, as I lick my lips. I look at the other officer behind her, he seems to be putting a strong façade, but I can see the nervousness behind his eyes. “Don’t stare at my officer! I asked you a question.”

Chief Beifong´s PoV

Oh for fuck sake, she´s slow…is she go- why is her hair painted? It´s not exactly unlikable. I think I´ve seen her, but I can´t recall where from. Why am I staring? WHY IS SHE STARING? “Don’t stare at my officer! I asked you a question.” Her mouth agape, my already visible frown deepens. She has three seconds to answer. 1…2..- “I- uh I´m sorry ma´am- uh Chief. Sorry, could you repeat the question? The uh…helmet was- I don’t think I heard.” I groan rather loudly as I exhale. I clench my jaw, as I breath in. “I asked. Do. You. Know how fast you were going?” I speak slowly and clearly as I cross my arms.

Y/N´s PoV

Spirits…and I thought I was stressed, this woman is going to explode! “I asked. Do. You. Know how fast you were going?” I hear her say loud and clear. So that´s the Beifong scowl people talk about. It´s cute. A little unnerving for those who can´t handle it. “Uh…not fast enough clearly!” I joke to get some tension off the air, but as I look at the Officer behind her, I only see his eyes widen beyond possible. I look back at the Chief and if looks could kill… “Is this a joke to you?! Is endangering other citizens lives a hobby for your entertainment? Clearly you seem to be asking for your license to be revoked.” Her stern voice makes straighten my back. It´s not that I´m afraid of her, but if I want my way out of this I might as well show some class. I clear my throat as I say “I apologize Chief, that was never my intention. I am pretty secure on my driving skills, and I am fully aware of the dangerous action I was doing. In my defence I am in a huge hurry. I´m in the Detective´s Program and I´m just trying to not get kicked out of there, this is my last chance…” I mumble that last part as I rub the back of my neck. Fuck it´s weird to be so verbally polite. I look back up at her to see what kind of reaction I got off of her only to be met with the exact same Beifong scowl as before. Well, that was worth shit. Her gaze is penetrating mine, almost as if she´s analysing me.

Chief Beifong´s PoV

That´s where I know her from. She´s in the Detective´s Program and sometimes wonders in the headquarters, she must be the firebender that Officer Wang told me. What was her name? Just as I am about to ask her, I am interrupted by the blaring sound coming off my radio. “Chief, come in. Over.” I groan in annoyance. Spirits, when do I ever catch a break? “I´m busy, what is it?” my stern and strong voice talks back to the radio. “Chief, we´ve got a Triple Threat Triad attack going on, over at the Eastern Market. We need your assistance. Over.” I look back at the young cadet with a scowl as she smiles back at me. Ugh, why is she smiling?

Y/N´s PoV

I just might make it out of here. I look at the Chief with a smile on my face as she stares back at me, the same Beifong scowl on her face but this time thicker, more prominent. I hear her exhale. “I catch you driving that thing over the speed one more time and I revoke your license and you better not drive it on my watch if you ever make it to detective, which hopefully, you won´t!” I hear her yell at me. Before I can even say anything back, she turns back around heading for the police satomobile. Well, isn´t she charming? Hot…and charming. “Song, move it! I drive.” I hear her yell at the officer. Poor guy, spirits. Though he is lucky he gets to be by her side. Hm, maybe I´ll be lucky enough for that once I´m a detective, which I want more than anything now that she seemed so annoyed by it. I smirk to myself as I think how it would be like to be next to this very angry yet stunning woman all day. Pushing her buttons does seem fun.

I put my helmet back on as I drive away towards the officers’ training site. I do my best to keep the speed on limit but as I look at the time on the satocycle I almost pass out. I am already 10 minutes late. FUCK. I groan loudly as I check my surroundings for any secret police satomobiles as I speed away. The faster I get there, the faster this is all over.

.- Later during practice -.

Y/N´s PoV

Fuck, I´m beat. Wang sure is getting his revenge for my late arrival. We are not many in the Detective´s Training Program and we´ll be even less given there are only two spots available. The majority of the class is all earthbenders, me being the only firebender. Which should make me feel perhaps uneasy or maybe a little scared, but honestly it just makes me feel like a total badass. I mean, hear me out, the only firebender in the troop and I get one of the Detective spots?! How crazy would that be? I´m quickly pulled from my thoughts when I hear that annoying voice once again. “So, Y/L/N, seems like you can give up already and give me my position as Detective.” The man says with a pleased smug on his face. “Why don’t you go bother someone else, Kang?” I groan annoyed as I take a sip from my water. “I´m just saying, as the only firebender you should at least make an effort to arrive in time don’t you think?” He scoffs loudly. I ignore his little stunts as I smirk to myself. “And you should make an effort on brushing your teeth. You got a little something there.” I scoff as I point to my own teeth with a disgusted face. I can visibly see him get red as a smirk makes its way on my lips.

“What´s going on over here? Y/L/N, Kang break is over. Get over here you two.” I hear Officer Wang´s voice yell from the other side of the field. Over? Spirits, I didn’t even have time to piss! I groan as I look at Kang´s smug little face. “Quit your whining and come prove your worth, princess.” I hear him chuckle. Did this cunt just call me, princess?! Now he better pray to Raava I won´t kill him. My blood boiling at the nickname I groan angrily. I have nothing to prove to you, cunt.

“Alright cadets, Y/L/N and Kang you two seemed to be having a nice chat back there. Get sparring, the others watch.” Wang´s voice echoes through the dusty field as I walk towards the centre, Kang right in front of me with that smug still plastered on his face. I scoff to myself.

I am going to wipe the fucking floor with you.

Once I see Officer Wang´s hand signal us to begin Kang wastes no time and throws a large piece of boulder at me, I swiftly avoid it, turning my body sideways and leaning slightly backwards. Just as quick as that boulder came at me I 360º my body, lowering myself to the dusty floor my right leg pushes forwards as a small wave of fire strikes all the dust away and forces Kang backwards. Before he can react, I get back up and briskly uppercut him in the jaw getting a loud grunt from him. How ´ s that for a princess? I don’t let my guard down knowing this isn´t over until Officer Wang decides. My arms close to my ribs and fists closed tightly near my face I watch Kang´s movements attentively, guessing his next move as he cracks his neck and smugly says “That all you got?” I roll my eyes as I stare at him through my eyebrows. Kang´s right leg rises and hits the ground, making it shake in an attempt to shake me off my feet. I use my fire propulsion to elevate myself from the ground slightly to lower the impact, flying over him and landing on the ground behind him. Before he has even time to acknowledge where I went, I lower kick his leg, spinning my body after the hit to gain power and land a higher kick to his arm which was protecting his ribs. I hear him grunt and groan in discomfort and anger as he throws a punch to my face. I quickly dodge downwards, pulling the same first move by pushing my leg outwards and kicking Kang´s body to the ground. He hits the ground with a loud thud, dust setting in the air around us, I look over at Office Wang to know if it was over yet, but Kang takes my short distraction as a chance. His body still on the floor, he raises his arm and the piece of boulder I was standing on goes flying with me in it. Throwing me through the air and across the field as I land on the ground, rolling over due to the speed I was thrown, getting a few scratches and dirt all over me. I breath loudly as the dust covers my sight, relying on my hearing I hear the rumbling sound of the earth beneath me as I look ahead and see a wave coming from the ground. I barely have time to react, my eyes widening, as I dodge to the right but not fast enough. My left shoulder caught on the edge of the rock-wave as I stumble backwards. I don’t fall, my feet sliding backwards with the dust as I grip my shoulder and wince in pain. Fuck! This bastard almost dislocated my shoulder. I sway my arms in the air and push them outwards as a thin wave of flames pushes the dust away, finally allowing me to see Kang. Does he ever stop smirking? I run towards him as he sends two fat boulders my way, I lower myself, dragging my body through the ground as I avoid the boulders. I get back up quickly and jump, using my fire propulsion to help me gain height. I see Kang´s eyes widen as I stretch my leg down, my foot coming at high speed in contact with his face. He barely has time to register what happened before his body jerks downwards with the force of the hit. Faceplanting on the floor with a loud thud and grunt he stays there, the dust on the ground escaping sideways from us. “Who´s the princess now Kang?” I whisper smugly on his ear as I stand up and hear Officer Wang´s annoyed voice “Alright that´s enough of it. Get here you two.” Is he mad that Kang didn’t beat my ass? Why is it that nobody wants me to succeed?! “You fucking bitch…” I hear Kang grunt between gritted teeth as he gets up. I smirk proudly to myself, “What´s wrong? Hurts much?”. I hear Kang scoff loudly, “Barely feel it.”, pfff yeah right.

We walk backwards towards Officer Wang and the rest of the trainees. “Alright, as you know our program is coming to an end. We have two detective positions open and there are ten of you. Being Detective is no easy job, that is why there is a final exam in five days. Me and Chief Beifong will be deciding on who gets the job positions and who goes out.” No. Fucking. Way. Now I know for sure I won´t make it to Detective! Beifong and I were already off to a bad start this morning! She said it herself; she doesn’t want me to make it to Detective! “…Final Exam will be set in two parts. In the morning you will have the written exam, to make sure you actually listened to what was taught these past few months, and, in the afternoon, it will be a competitive sparring. Just like Kang and Y/L/N did, except the first one to fall is automatically disqualified.” Written exam? What is this, fucking high school?! Ugh, I better not be paired with Kang. “That´s it for today cadets, see you tomorrow at 9am sharp.” Officer Wang glances at me sideways as I mouth a ´sorry` silently. “Y/L/N, hit the showers in the headquarters, your shoulder is bleeding.” Officer Wang says with a hint of despise on his tone. Spirits, sorry I´m not made of fucking metal. I didn’t even notice I was bleeding. I look at my shoulder and notice the few reddened scratches and a small trickle of blood coming out. I hear Kang snicker next to me. The fuck are you smirking about? “Your nose also looks like shit Kang, but I guess a shower can´t fix that for you.” I smirk as I grab my towel, shoving it over my shoulder and heading back inside the headquarters before he can say anything.

My body is covered in dust and sweat; my defined muscular arms filled with small little scratches from rolling on the ground. My once black tank top also covered in a light brownish dusty substance. Gosh do I need a shower…My body is killing me. I pass through the Officer I saw with the Chief in the morning. Shit, she´s probably close by. I rush my way to the showers as to avoid her. It´s not that I don’t want to see her. Spirits know how much I´d pay to see those penetrating jade eyes of hers. But I don’t want her to see me while I look like shit…and probably smell like one too.

Chief Beifong´s PoV

As I am filing down some more reports and going over them, I hear grunts and noises from outside. Annoyed at the disturbance I get up from my chair with a sigh as I look over the window. Must be Wang training the cadets. Seeing the training field, I stare at one of the male cadets throwing boulders and another one dodging them out. Trying to figure who the other one is, I squint my eyes. The amount of dust surrounding them makes it hard, but the worn-out red highlights and the distinctive fire coming from the body allows me to figure out who it is already. It´s that speeding satocycle cadet I caught this morning. I observe them as I see the male cadet shake the ground, a wave heading towards her. But there´s too much dust for her to see anything at all. Fuck even I am struggling to keep up with what is going on. She dodges it but seemingly not totally. “That’s a nasty hit…” I mumble to myself. But she does seem to handle it…quite nicely I must say. Spirits, I´m staring again. I shake my head and groan in annoyance but am quickly distracted by the fire coming off her feet. Fire propulsion, that’s useful. I stare as she lands a powerful hit on the male cadets’ face. That´s going to leave a mark. I guess…she´s not that…bad. Whatever. If she´s to make it to Detective she´s supposed to be, at least, useful. I turn away and decide to head downstairs to check how Song is getting along with the other files. He´s not in the Detective´s Program, but he has some…potential, I cannot deny that.

“Officer Song, how are those files coming along?” I see him tremble underneath his armour. “Uh- well, Chief. It seems that the Triple Threat Triads crimes are lowering in amount…” I scoff. Sure, but they are not getting any easier to deal with. Song continues talking but I barely catch what he is saying as I look over his shoulder and notice the firebender cadet. She´s all dirty. Bunch of scratches in her shoulder too…bummer. She can deal with it. I think to myself, but yet, I can´t seem to find an explanation as to why I feel so drawn towards her. I shake these thoughts away and refocus on Officer Song. “…So, I guess that is pretty good right, Chief?” What´s pretty good? Shit, I didn’t hear. “Uhm yes, yes, it is. Now, get back to work Officer.” I clear my throat as I make my way back to my office. Sitting down on my chair I exhale, looking up at the pile of files and papers to read and fill in. Spirits I´m exhausted. I get started against my will. It´s going to be a long night, I might as well get it over with. After some time of insufferable writing, scribbling, and scratching I hear a knock on the door. I look up from the papers as I catch a glimpse of the clock and then stare at the door. It´s 10pm who the fuck is still in here?

“Uh, Chief, can I come in?" Is that- What is she doing here?

#lin beifong #lin beifong x reader #avatar the last airbender #legend of korra #fanfic

[irdis-epilox]

Headcanon: Role expectations

Warning: bad translation

Hollowheads have meaningful names, and I thought "hey maybe because of their names, they, for some unknown reason, correspond to them, maybe a program or something like that?"

And then there were such thoughts. "The fact that they may have role expectations from themselves does not mean that some of them do not try to fix it, i.e. angst! :D"

...let's just deal with all of them, ok?

...In turn.....

Victim

A traumatized stickfigure, both mentally and physically, practically from birth and possibly for the rest of his life... shitty fate, don't you agree?

So it's not surprising that Victim wanted to change this, and as we can see, he succeeded.

She's the head of a whole mega-corporation!

But I think that they still feel anxiety, nervousness, and maybe even fear because of any little thing and Victim throws it all away and tries to convince himself that he is no longer well a victim... and tries to take on a new role that he created for himself...

Is there a theory that Victim changed his name?

What I'm trying to say is that Victim has overcome his role expectations or vice versa changed his role... maybe it's maybe another maybe third

.

The Dark Lord

obviously, it looks like a villainous name, this is not surprising since he was originally an opponent of The Chosen One in order to destroy them

But as we all know, he changed they priorities perhaps in favor of his own survival or revenge? It's hard to say because

1. TDL was a rookie then and didn't know how terrible it was to confront Alan with the two previous creations then, watch the whole fight when TDL was created there Alan does not look like a dangerous opponent so it is logical to agree to be on the side of the one who spared you because they can destroy you right now

2. If it is the second, then she is hot-tempered (I admit that complete ignorance can hurt hurt, don't be angry, please)

Maybe that was the only time he went against his expected role as a villain... wait, I got the thought "that if" in Alan's eyes, he was the one to save him, not very villainous. To be honest, maybe she, on the contrary, never resisted her role expectation

let's save that for later...

We all know what happened after Alan's pc death a lot of evil activities under the leadership of TDL obviously

We immediately see that they liked the role circled to him...

.

The Chosen One

And also the second victim, killer, BEAST yes old names

Being the Chosen One is bad. Well, for him, that's for sure, and they role expectations from himself are to be different from the rest, that she specifically manages to do this.

And as we know my dear extroverted introverts, feeling different from others can also be feelings of inferiority and loneliness and in my mind TCO was trying not to be completely different from TDL because they are their only friend excuse me! :D

But trying to be like everyone else sucks because your choices are your opinions, your personality, in other words, you.

So yes he has conflict on his role expectations

.

The Second Coming

.......sooo yes...

let's just say that maybe because of this, they were cautious at the beginning

she doesn't have a very meaningful name, to be honest

(The only thing that came to my mind because of this name is Jesus Christ, but we do not affect religion!)

the fact that he The Chosen One's Return to say that they are the new main character

this, in addition to screen time, is confirmed by his fighting skills, superpower, and difference from the rest as his friends as well as her predecessors.

and it seems they do not have this role expectation. As I said, the name is not very saying

.

.

.

hope I made this more or less clear...

AND YES, I HOPE I WON'T WRITE SO MUCH AGAIN!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!,,,!!1!

#alan becker #animator vs animation #animation vs animator #ava tsc #ava victim #ava tdl #ava tco #ava the dark lord #ava the chosen one #ava the second coming #tsc #tdl #tco #victim #headcanon #ava #animation vs minecraft #animator vs minecraft #avm the second coming #avm tsc #avm

[gimmethatagustd]

let me adore you | kth + pjm

Jimin can’t bear to look at himself in the mirror, but he’s all that Taehyung has eyes for.

↳ pairing: taehyung x jimin

↳ rating/genre: BTS | 18+ | established relationship | hurt/comfort | smut | fluff

↳ wc/date: 8k | October 2023

↳ warnings: mental illness, depression, jimin has body dysmorphic disorder, very hurtful inner thoughts, the plot is basically nonexistent it's just smut and soft feelings lmfao, anal fingering, blowjobs, unprotected anal sex, body worship

↳ notes: pls be gentle with yourself as you read this story cuz jimin is very tough on himself, and it could be uncomfortable to read if you relate to his body image struggles. this fic was a submission for the AO3 BTS Hurt/Comfort Fest

↳ masterlist / taglist

↳ what was jai listening to? adore you - harry styles

Jimin’s clothes don’t fit. 

His lavender silk button-up keeps slipping off his shoulder, exposing his collarbones to the cool night air. It makes him tremble slightly, and Taehyung must notice because he pulls Jimin tighter against his chest. 

“How’s it going, love?” Taehyung hooks his chin over Jimin’s shoulder and turns his head to the side when he whispers the question. His voice is raspy from talking all night, and the deepness of it warms the pit of Jimin’s stomach, even in his sour mood. 

Jimin shrugs, and Taehyung lets out an amused huff at his boyfriend’s indecisiveness. His breath tickles Jimin’s neck. 

“Bored?” 

Taehyung smells like vodka and ginger beer from the Moscow mule he’s been nursing all night. He holds the copper mug in the hand that isn’t splayed against the lower half of Jimin’s tummy. As much as Jimin loves being in Taehyung’s embrace, the pressure of his hand is making Jimin’s skin crawl. He hates it when Taehyung touches his stomach. 

“I’m not bored,” Jimin says flatly. He’s not bored, but he’s not entertained, either. 

Going to Euphoria used to be the highlight of Jimin’s weekend. It’s Seoul’s most elite rooftop bar. Slipping past the bouncers guarding the glass elevator that takes patrons to the roof is possible thanks to being friends with Seokjin. Taehyung had met him through his best friend, Jungkook. It has been a little over two years since Seokjin came around, but he fit into their friend group almost immediately, even though Jimin and his friends are nowhere near as impressive as an actor. Seokjin is attractive, gregarious, and rich, but it’s his goofy personality that molds well with Taehyung and Jungkook's often childlike sense of wonder. 

Taehyung brushes his lips against Jimin’s neck as he murmurs, “Tired? Wanna go home?” 

The sensation makes the hairs on the nape of Jimin’s neck stand up, and the fire that seems to always burn in the pit of his stomach when Taehyung’s around flickers once again. It’s frustrating how easily Taehyung can make Jimin’s heart race, even when he isn’t in the mood for kisses and that velvety voice whispering in his ear. 

Jimin does want to go home, but he knows Taehyung and their friends are having fun. The whole reason why they’re out is to celebrate Taehyung graduating from his Ph.D. program and securing a position as a therapist. It would be rude of him to force Taehyung to leave his own party. He’s being a shitty boyfriend, bringing the mood down. Taehyung shouldn’t have to check in on Jimin while he’s celebrating such an important achievement. 

“Hyung, stop being so gross!” A voice cries out from Jimin’s left, and he turns to see Jungkook walking away from his conversation with Seokjin and a few people Jimin doesn’t know. 

Taehyung mumbles something into Jimin’s neck before straightening his posture. He finally lets go of Jimin, leaving his place behind Jimin to instead stand next to him. Ordinarily, the loss of contact would leave Jimin feeling cold, but tonight, he’s relieved. 

It makes Jimin feel awful. 

“Excuse me, I didn’t realize giving my boyfriend attention was gross,” Taehyung counters with a roll of his eyes. 

“The two of you are the worst about PDA!” Jungkook presses on with exaggerated exasperation. “You’re disgusting.” 

“You’re disgusting,” Taehyung parrots back. He reaches out with lightning speed to pinch Jungkook’s nipple through his shirt, twisting it with his index finger and thumb hard enough to make Jungkook squeal. 

“Aw, hyung, what the fuck!” Jungkook swats at Taehyung’s arm. He covers both nipples with his hands and turns to give Jimin a pout. It’s ridiculous. 

“You’re both being ridiculous,” Jimin mutters. He brings his drink to his lips, a gin and Coke that Taehyung nearly spit out when he took a sip earlier.

Jimin’s response isn’t what Jungkook was looking for, so he resumes harassing Taehyung about being “too whipped for his own good”. 

Normally, the playful altercation would make Jimin smile. It’s true; Taehyung is undeniably head-over-heels for Jimin, and they all know it – even before they started dating, back when Jimin and Jungkook were roommates, and Taehyung was simply “Jungkook’s best friend”. Taehyung had crushed on Jimin so hard it wasn’t a shock to anyone when he grew the courage to ask Jimin out. 

Taehyung’s love for Jimin is painfully obvious. It’s in the way Taehyung watches Jimin with such soft, kind eyes like Jimin is the most precious thing he’s ever seen. It’s in the way he holds Jimin in his large hands like he’s afraid Jimin might break. It’s in the way he melts under Jimin’s touch, even after five years of dating. Their honeymoon phase never ended. Despite how annoying, frustrating, and utterly terrible Jimin is, somehow, Taehyung still loves him. 

To avoid staring at Taehyung any longer, Jimin turns his attention to Jungkook. He looks good tonight, though he always does. 

Jungkook is big. What he lacks in stature, he makes up for in muscle. His biceps are getting thicker, and the buttons on his shirt strain when he moves his torso a certain way. He’s been working out more. 

Taehyung has gotten bigger, too. He has started going with Jungkook to the gym, mainly on the weekends, because Taehyung often offers late appointments for clients who can’t speak with him until after they’re off work. 

Over time, Taehyung has filled out, muscles developing in his broad shoulders that hadn’t been prominent before. When he wraps his arm around Jimin’s waist, Jimin notices the raised veins that run along his forearm, exposed from his sleeves being rolled up. 

It’s hot, but Jimin can’t enjoy his boyfriend’s developing physique. 

He looks down at his body as Jungkook and Taehyung bicker, their voices mixing in with the music playing from overhead speakers. 

Jimin is small. 

He can see his hip bones protruding from his skin-tight black jeans. He should’ve worn looser pants, but Taehyung likes Jimin in these jeans. He’s not sure why. All they do is accentuate how frail he is. 

It’s disgusting. 

Jimin shifts uncomfortably in Taehyung’s embrace. He can feel Taehyung’s fingers against his ribcage. When Jimin adjusts, Taehyung’s hand slides down to hold Jimin’s hip. 

Jimin’s waist is tiny enough that Taehyung can wrap his hands around him. When he inhales, he can see his ribs poking through his skin, and he knows from countless hours of staring at himself in the mirror that the knobby vertebrae of his spine are visible, too. 

Jimin prayed for his “adult body” to show up for years. He figured as he got older, he’d fill in a bit. He tried working out, but he’s not confident enough to lift weights at the gym with all the gym bros watching him, waiting for him to embarrass himself. And when he does cardio, he just loses more weight.  

All he wants is to be less… plain, bony, and unattractive. Not a stick, easily knocked over and bent in half. He wants to be soft and pretty. He wants hips and thighs for Taehyung to squeeze and hold onto. He wants to fill in his jeans and for his shirts to fit against a chest that isn’t so flat. No one wants to touch and kiss and fuck a skeleton. 

And he really wishes he could grow taller, though that obviously isn’t in the cards for him. 

He looks up at Taehyung and watches his side profile while he talks. His eyes are bright from being a bit tipsy, and he talks animatedly, swinging the hand holding his drink. Luckily, it’s nearly empty, or he’d have spilled it all over himself by now. 

Taehyung is gorgeous. He’s tall, all legs, with beautiful tan skin and beauty marks that make Jimin want to kiss him all over. Even when he was a little on the skinnier side, it made sense on him. He looks like a supermodel. 

Jimin can’t understand why Taehyung, someone so perfect, would want to date him. Especially when Taehyung could have anyone he wants. 

One of those anyones chooses now to saunter over to where the trio are talking. Leaning against the rooftop balcony’s glass railing, Jimin watches the man with growing irritation.

“Tae! Congratulations, my friend. I’m so happy for you.” 

And there’s that blinding smile so large it pushes deep dimples into the man’s cheeks. He’s just as tall as Taehyung and absolutely gorgeous, with tan skin and muscles that rival Jungkook’s. Jimin forces himself to take another sip of his drink to avoid scowling as Taehyung’s arm slips from his waist to wrap around the newcomer’s body instead. 

“Namjoonie hyung, thank you!” 

“I’ve got a gift for you, but it wasn’t ready yet. I’m sorry.” 

Taehyung waves Namjoon’s concerns away. “Ah, hyung, you didn’t need to get me anything at all.” 

“Don’t be silly, Tae,” Namjoon insists. “I’ll find a time for you to come over to my place so I can give it to you.” Namjoon brushes his shoulder against Taehyung’s. Although the force is light, it makes Taehyung take a step backward, and he bumps into Jimin. 

“Sorry, love,” Taehyung apologizes with a smile that makes Jimin’s head spin. 

Taehyung doesn’t look at Namjoon the way he looks at Jimin, but maybe one day he could. And why not? Namjoon fits Taehyung better. They look perfect together as Namjoon lifts his phone up to take a selfie, his cheek pressed against Taehyung’s. He and Taehyung met in college, years before Jimin moved in with Jungkook. Taehyung never said anything happened between the two of them; he always referred to Namjoon as a close friend. But he never said nothing happened, either. Just thinking about it makes Jimin’s stomach churn. 

Fueled by jealousy that he doesn’t feel like addressing, Jimin’s fingers pull at the sleeve of Taehyung’s leather jacket. 

“What’s up, baby?” 

“Can we go home?” 

Taehyung nods immediately without asking why, and warmth blooms in Jimin’s chest even as he feels like he’s going to be sick. 

“I’m sorry you didn’t have fun,” Taehyung mumbles the apology while he looks down at the space between where he and Jimin sit in the backseat of the taxi. He plays with Jimin’s fingers, paying particular attention to Jimin’s pinky, which is equally endearing and annoying. 

Their hands look pretty intertwined, Taehyung’s long and tan, the fingers of an artist and musician, while Jimin’s are short and stubby. It’s funny how even Taehyung’s fingers are perfect, whereas Jimin’s are just as ugly as the rest of him. Life works in mysterious ways, Jimin supposes. 

“I did have fun,” Jimin lies. 

He watches the city fly past them in streaks of white light and doesn’t look at Taehyung. If he does, Taehyung will know the truth. He probably already knows. It’s soulmate behavior, Seokjin would say. Jimin and Taehyung are tethered in a way no one understands. Jimin swears they’re so deeply connected that his soul aches when Taehyung is unhappy. 

Taehyung swears he feels the same way, which makes Jimin feel even worse.

Time passes strangely in the middle of the night. A twenty-minute car ride to their apartment feels like an eternity, yet hardly anything has changed once Jimin and Taehyung scoot out of the backseat. The air is chillier now, though Jimin’s sensitive response to the temperature may be due to the taxi driver blasting the heat on the drive over. He also doesn’t have any body fat on him to keep him warm, a thought that further sours his mood as he follows Taehyung into the lobby, where they wait for the elevator. 

Once inside, Taehyung hooks his finger through Jimin’s belt loop and pulls him forward until their fronts are pressed together. 

“You don’t have to lie to me, baby,” Taehyung murmurs into Jimin’s fluffy blonde hair with a squeeze of his hips. “I know you weren’t thrilled about going out, so I appreciate that you still went with me.” 

Despite his mood, Jimin melts into Taehyung’s embrace. Taehyung hugs like he’s trying to absorb the tension Jimin holds inside his body. Jimin breathes in his cologne, oak and spice, and the bite of vodka as he buries his face in Taehyung’s chest. None of the antidepressant medications lining the nightstand on Jimin’s side of the bed can give him the sense of relief a hug from Taehyung gives him, even if Taehyung’s hugs remind Jimin of how different their bodies are. Even if Jimin knows he can’t find a cure for his problems in another person. Taehyung feels good; some things are as simple as that. 

The sob that shudders through Jimin’s chest is abrupt and unexpected. He knows it catches Taehyung off guard because Jimin feels him suck in a deep breath, and his arms reflexively tighten around him. 

Honestly, it catches Jimin off guard, too. He cries so infrequently that Taehyung has commented on it. Something about occasional tears being psychologically good for him. 

Jimin doesn’t understand how crying can ever be a good thing. Embarrassment and shame ripple through him with each sob. There is a level of helplessness that comes with crying episodes. Losing control of one’s emotions is disheartening and sometimes even scary. It’s upsetting to know that Jimin will never be okay, no matter how hard he tries. 

“Oh baby,” Taehyung murmurs as he cups the back of Jimin’s head to hold him against his chest. “Will you tell me what’s wrong? Please?” 

“I f-f-feel…” Jimin’s whimpers prevent him from speaking clearly, though Taehyung has always been the more patient of the two. “I’m so ugly , Tae. I hate myself.” 

These aren’t words Taehyung hasn’t heard before, but he’s sincere when he asks, “What makes you say that?” Because the answer is always different, even when it’s the same. 

Jimin shrugs in Taehyung’s embrace. The ding of the elevator reaching their floor punctuates his silence. 

Bending slightly, Taehyung grabs the backs of Jimin’s thighs just below his butt and lifts him. Taehyung’s ability to easily carry Jimin has always been hot, though Jimin hasn’t dared to admit that out loud. Not that Taehyung has ever made him feel bad about his interests; it’s just that there are many things Jimin is too afraid to say to anyone. 

Jimin quickly wraps his legs around Taehyung’s waist and hugs his broad shoulders as Taehyung carries him out of the elevator. It’s late enough that the hallway is empty, though Taehyung wouldn’t care if someone saw them like this. Jimin keeps his face buried in the crook of Taehyung’s neck so he wouldn’t know either way. It’s safe here, breathing Taehyung in with his eyes squeezed shut. 

Taehyung adjusts his hold on Jimin to input their apartment passcode and kicks the door open. He doesn’t speak as he carries Jimin to their bedroom, though Jimin tunes into his steady breathing and attempts to mimic it to calm himself down. 

Once in the bedroom, Taehyung gently sits Jimin down on their bed. His thumbs swipe across Jimin’s closed eyes, brushing tears from his eyelashes. It’s gentle, far gentler than Jimin has ever deserved. 

“Jagiya,” Taehyung calls out to him softly. 

Jimin slowly opens his eyes and does his best to meet Taehyung’s. His expression is gentle; eyes crinkled at the corners as he looks at Jimin with so much love and adoration that Jimin feels he’ll combust from the warmth. 

“Which Taehyung would you like me to be tonight?” 

Jimin smiles despite his bleary eyes and tear-stained cheeks. It may be an odd question to an outsider, but for Jimin, it’s everything he loves about Taehyung. 

It’s a habit they’ve fallen into after five years of dating, developed after Jimin snapped at Taehyung for “psychoanalyzing” him one too many times, as a way for Taehyung to understand what Jimin needs from him in a moment of distress. Occasionally, Taehyung goes into Therapist Mode, as Jimin calls it. Therapist Taehyung can be helpful when Jimin is desperate for relief from the horrors of his mind. Still, sometimes Therapist Taehyung can make Jimin feel like he’s being poked and prodded, evaluated, and assessed, even when Taehyung doesn’t mean to come off that way.  

Boyfriend Taehyung doesn’t go into Therapist Mode. Boyfriend Taehyung is gentle and understanding without being judgmental. 

“I need Boyfriend Tae,” Jimin replies once he clears his throat. 

“Alright, Boyfriend Tae, it is,” Taehyung confirms with a boxy smile. “Boyfriend Tae needs to shower, and he’d like you to join him. Is that okay?”

Jimin nods and takes Taehyung’s outstretched hands, allowing Taehyung to pull him up from the bed. In one sweeping motion, Taehyung lifts Jimin into his arms, carrying him bridal-style into the bathroom. 

“I hate that you can manhandle me,” Jimin grumbles once Taehyung places him on the counter. 

“That’s very interesting,” Taehyung remarks in a sing-song voice as he begins unbuttoning his shirt. Inch by inch, golden skin on display. “Usually when I pick you up and throw you around, you’re babbling about how much you love how str–” 

“Shh!” Jimin presses his finger to his puckered lips, cheeks pink and sufficiently embarrassed. For a moment, his insecurities are forgotten, replaced by heat simmering in his stomach when Taehyung’s pretty hands begin unbuckling his belt. 

He watches Taehyung’s eyes zero in on his finger and knows he isn’t looking at his mouth but instead the tattoo of a seven on the inside of his finger: July 7th, their anniversary. When Taehyung strips out of his slacks once his shirt is discarded on the floor, he reveals his matching tattoo on his thigh. They got them on their first anniversary – a decision most of Jimin’s friends warned him against. Rightfully so. Getting matching tattoos after only a year of dating seems like a risk, but Jimin knew Taehyung was his forever since their first kiss. 

“You don’t have to shower with me if you don’t want to, jagiya.” 

Taehyung stands between Jimin’s legs, grabbing the counter's edge on either side of his hips. While Jimin was lost in his thoughts, Taehyung finished undressing. The only thing remaining is a thin gold chain resting on his pronounced collarbones. The chain matches the dangly earring hanging from his left earlobe. Taehyung looks so pretty in dainty jewelry yet still holds onto his particular brand of elegant masculinity. 

“Chim?”

Jimin blinks, forcing himself to stop thinking about how pathetic he looks next to Taehyung.

“Hmm?” 

“Are you going to shower in your clothes?” 

“No…” 

Unable to meet Taehyung’s dark eyes, Jimin tucks his chin to his chest. While Taehyung reaches behind his neck to remove his chain, Jimin wiggles off the counter to remove his clothes. He keeps his back to the mirror, afraid to look at what he knows he’ll see there. It’s bad enough that he can watch the front of his body as he sheds his clothes, each one a protective layer, like a snake shedding its skin. But Jimin isn’t strong beneath the fabric; the more he takes off, the smaller he becomes. 

“Can I help?” 

Taehyung’s fingers brush against Jimin’s neck as Jimin steps out of his jeans. The touch makes him shiver. He nods, and Taehyung gently removes Jimin’s diamond stud earrings, placing both silver hoops on the counter alongside Taehyung’s chain and dangly earring. 

“There you go.”

“Thank you,” Jimin whispers. 

“Of course, baby.” 

Stepping away, Taehyung slides the glass shower door open and sticks his hand under the running water. Jimin’s not sure how he keeps losing track of reality; he only now realizes that the shower is running. Perhaps it’s his way of stalling, of avoiding what’s about to happen. 

A shower is never just a shower. 

“C’mon, love.” 

Showers are easier with Taehyung. Jimin gets to close his eyes and lean his head back as Taehyung’s nimble fingers massage shampoo into his hair. He doesn’t have to look at his body because Taehyung washes him with a sudsy washcloth. When it’s time to get out, Taehyung wraps Jimin in the fluffiest towel they own and whisks him away before he can catch a glimpse of his naked body in the mirror. 

Jimin keeps the towel wrapped around his body while he sits on the bed and watches Taehyung. Nudity disgusts him when it’s his bare body, but he can never grow tired of the beauty of Taehyung’s naked body. Taehyung saunters around the room with confidence Jimin could only dream of. Even with his wet hair and soft cock, he looks like a god among men as he puts away their jewelry for safekeeping. 

Catching Jimin’s eye through the mirror, Taehyung grins, boxy and wide. 

“Were you checking out my ass, Park Jimin?” 

With a roll of his eyes, Jimin tugs the towel tighter around his body. Such a ridiculous question doesn’t deserve a response. 

Taehyung, however, is stubborn. Kneeling on the bed, he invades Jimin’s personal space as he leans forward, his hands resting on either side of Jimin’s thighs. He’s wearing the mischievous grin that makes Jimin’s stomach flip. 

“Do you know how cute you are?” Taehyung asks, cocking his head to the side as he admires Jimin – what on him, specifically, he has no idea. “So fucking cute. I could eat you.” 

Jimin shivers. He leans back as Taehyung crawls forward until he’s eventually flat on his back. 

“Boyfriend Tae is turning into Menace Tae,” Jimin mumbles, unable to meet Taehyung’s eyes. They’re dark and lidded. 

“Hmm.” Taehyung presses his palms into the mattress on either side of Jimin’s head, just above his shoulders. 

Jimin naturally parts his legs so Taehyung can fit between them, causing the towel to hike up. When he shifts slightly, he can feel Taehyung’s cock rest against the inside of his thigh, warm and heavy – and a source of comfort, as odd as that may seem. The feeling is difficult for Jimin to explain. Having Taehyung so close that nothing separates them has always shaken Jimin to the bone. Nothing is so pure or sure of a reminder that Taehyung is here . He is alive, perfect, and present – all for Jimin to drown himself in the vanilla scent of his body wash and the fruity tartness of his shampoo. To be suffocated by such warmth would be more than Jimin deserves. 

“Menace Tae would like to kiss you. Would that be okay?” Taehyung wets his lips as he waits, eyes gentle even if he does look like he wants to eat Jimin whole. 

“Yes,” Jimin says with an exhale. 

Gently cupping Jimin’s face, Taehyung leans down and slots their lips together. Jimin feels his stomach swoop, an exhilarating energy thrumming through him when Taehyung sighs into his mouth. Despite the drag of Taehyung’s tongue along Jimin’s bottom lip and the light nibble he gives it, the kiss is relatively chaste.

Taehyung gently runs his fingers through Jimin’s hair, tugging the ends with the slightest force needed to tilt his head to the side. The new position allows him to deepen the kiss as their mouths move together effortlessly. Taehyung’s lips are soft from the lip balm he always uses after a shower. It tastes lightly of strawberries and cream and easily makes his lips glide over Jimin’s. 

Being with Taehyung is always like this: easy. Love flows from him effortlessly, and Jimin takes takes takes. They don’t part until Jimin whimpers into Taehyung’s mouth. Taehyung pulls back slightly, just enough to give them space to catch their breath – as if Jimin could possibly be anything other than dizzy in such proximity to him. 

Jimin can’t remember the last time they kissed like that. He can’t remember when they last kissed at all, aside from the (usually) innocent little kisses Taehyung likes to cover him with. Rarely is it that Jimin’s cheeks, forehead, and nose escape Taehyung’s kisses. Physical intimacy was once a love language they both shared. 

Eventually, Jimin became distant. And Taehyung, sweet Taehyung, never pushed him even though it meant little to no intimacy with the love of his life. 

All the more reason for Taehyung to find someone new. 

“I love you so much.” 

Taehyung's whispers are the crackle of embers simmering in a fireplace. Jimin can taste their smokiness on his lips if he concentrates hard enough on his words and less on how scared he is that Taehyung will touch the ugly parts of him. 

When Taehyung leans further back, Jimin’s startled to see a small, sad smile tugging at his mouth. 

“Do you not love me anymore, Jimin?” 

“W-what?” Jimin swallows around the lump forming in his throat, apprehension building inside him. 

He watches with bright, glossy eyes as Taehyung reaches out to skim his fingertips along his jaw. It tickles as Taehyung starts just below his ear and glides like a ghost along the sharp edge until he reaches the curve of Jimin’s chin. 

“Just tell me,” Taehyung commands softly, pressing his thumb against Jimin’s plush bottom lip. He pulls down on it slightly, forcing Jimin’s lips to part. “Please.” 

The answer is so obvious Jimin wants to scream. He wants to take Taehyung by the shoulders and shake him until his pretty hair is in disarray and his cheeks are flushed. How can Taehyung not know? How can Taehyung hover over Jimin, damp hair haloing his bent head, honey gold skin glowing in the soft bedroom lighting, and think that there could be a universe in which Jimin doesn’t love him? 

Tears prickle at the corners of Jimin’s eyes as he struggles to maintain eye contact. His hands shake when he presses his palms against Taehyung’s cheeks, their arms interwoven like the rest of their bodies.

“Of course, I love you,” Jimin whispers. 

Taehyung hums, leaning into Jimin’s touch. “Say it again.” 

“I love you,” Jimin repeats. He shouldn’t say what comes next, but he does. The confession tumbles out of him just as haphazardly as his confession in the elevator, though this one isn’t one Taehyung is familiar with. “I-I don’t deserve your love, Tae.” 

Taehyung’s reaction is expected. His eyes fly open, hard and blazing, and a sharp wrinkle forms between his eyebrows. 

“What did you just say?” 

Jimin lets his hands fall from Taehyung’s face. He lowers his gaze and tries to turn away, but Taehyung grasps his chin to keep him in place. “I don’t deserve you.” 

Tilting Jimin’s chin, Taehyung returns his thumb to Jimin’s mouth, this time pulling his bottom lip away to stop Jimin from chewing on it. 

“You deserve even more than I could ever possibly give you, Park Jimin,” Taehyung murmurs. 

The praise is too much for Jimin to bear. He wants to be defensive, to tell Taehyung that he’s being ridiculous. There can’t possibly be truth to what he says. He even opens his mouth to say so, but Taehyung’s lips lock with his before any self-deprecating words can come out. 

It’s impossible not to fall into the trap of Taehyung’s sweet taste. All it takes is the slight pressure of Taehyung’s tongue swiping against his bottom lip for Jimin to melt completely. Parting his lips, he lets Taehyung lick at the inside of his mouth. Their tongues brush against each other before Taehyung bites Jimin’s plump bottom lip and tugs, sucking on it lightly before he finally lets go, only to dive back in to press an even more bruising kiss to Jimin’s lips. The words are unspoken, but Jimin feels them through the electricity that passes between their bodies: I love you, mine, mine, mine. 

Jimin’s stomach flutters as he feels Taehyung’s hand slip beneath the fluffy folds of his towel and slide along his hip bone. His touch is cold compared to the heat of Jimin’s skin from being snuggled in the towel. 

“It hurts me to hear you talk about yourself like that, jagi,” Taehyung’s voice cracks with emotion. He speaks against Jimin’s lips. “Please don’t say those things.” 

Their eyes remain closed as they breathe in each other, the dizzying feeling of having Taehyung so close to him making Jimin need to hold onto something. He grips Taehyung’s biceps and relishes in the feel of the muscles flexing beneath his fingers. 

“I’m sorry,” Jimin apologizes, meaning to say even more, but Taehyung hushes him because no apologies are needed. Only change – the promise to be kinder to himself. It’s something Taehyung practically begs of Jimin, and it seems like it should be so easy. Yet they’ve gone through this before. 

“You are so beautiful, Chim,” Taehyung speaks into the air they breathe between them. “Not just your body, but your soul, too.” 

Squirming at what feels like unearned praise, Jimin tries to scoot up the bed to get from under Taehyung. “Okay, Jesse McCartney.” 

“Shut up. I’m trying to be serious here.” The biting words are paired with a lopsided grin as Taehyung stalks Jimin up the bed, his hands caging in Jimin’s head and his knees spreading Jimin’s thighs. “Let me appreciate my baby for a second, okay?” 

“I would rather appreciate you,” Jimin mumbles. 

“Ah, none of that. No diverting the attention away from yourself, Jimin-ssi.” 

In response, Jimin lets out a shuddery breath when Taehyung traces his fingers along his inner thigh. It’s a sound that Taehyung notices because they’re both in tune with each other’s bodies. It scares Jimin sometimes, even as delicious as it is when Taehyung uses that connection to touch all the right spots to light Jimin up. Taking advantage of how Jimin’s eyes have fluttered shut, Taehyung leans down to press a kiss at the corner of his jaw and then trails them, hot and open-mouthed, down Jimin’s neck. 

“I don’t want to talk about me,” Jimin finally manages to get out, his voice nearly breaking when Taehyung dips his tongue into his collarbone. 

“Talking about you is my favorite thing to do,” Taehyung gently scrapes his teeth against Jimin’s clavicle in a playful bite, “aside from kissing you. Loving you. Fucking you .” Taehyung whispers those last few words, and Jimin can feel him smirk against his skin when he shivers. 

“Such vulgar language,” Jimin scolds, yet he loosens his grip on his towel to let it slide off his shoulders, exposing more skin for Taehyung to plant kisses against. Heat pulls in Jimin’s gut as Taehyung sucks a hickey on his throat. He throws his head back against the bed, long, pretty neck on display. 

“Not vulgar, just honest.” Taehyung presses his finger to the underside of Jimin’s chin and gently coaxes him to turn his head in the opposite direction so he can have access to the other side of his neck to devour. 

A quiet moan slips from Jimin’s plump, parted lips when Taehyung’s semi-hard cock brushes against his own. At some point, the rest of his towel fell away, and Jimin realizes he forgot how powerful Taehyung’s attention is. As long as Taehyung has been kissing him, he hasn’t thought about the self-conscious embarrassment of being naked. 

Taehyung rests his forehead against Jimin’s, his pretty eyes fluttering closed. 

“Let me worship you, jagi,” Taehyung murmurs. “You deserve to be worshiped. I’m so sorry I haven’t done a good enough job showing you just how divine you are. ‘Cause that’s what you are, love. Divine. Heavenly.” 

“It’s not your–” 

“Yes, it is. It’s my job to take care of you, just as you take care of me. And you do so well, baby. You’ve been there for me, even when it’s been hard for you. I can’t begin to express how much I appreciate you. So, please, let me show you?” 

Taehyung watches Jimin with an intensity that makes Jimin feel like he’s flayed, raw, and waiting to be consumed. But, rather than feel scrutinized, Jimin feels safe under Taehyung’s undivided attention. 

Waiting for Jimin’s response, Taehyung sits back on his heels, knees still spread with Jimin’s thighs resting on the outside of Taehyung’s. He rubs his thumbs along Jimin’s hip bones in a swirling pattern that gives Jimin something to ground himself in. 

“I love you,” is Jimin’s response, and the lopsided grin returns to Taehyung’s face. He licks his lips and runs his palms flat against Jimin’s sides, gliding upward to his chest. When his thumbs brush Jimin’s nipples, Jimin lets out a little gasp that makes Taehyung’s grin widen. 

“So sensitive,” Taehyung murmurs, his voice thick with desire. He drags his hands down Jimin’s torso until they rest on his spread thighs. “Can I suck you off, jagi? Will you let me make you feel good?” 

Instinctually, Jimin tenses his thighs and squeezes Taehyung’s legs. “Y-yes, please,” he whimpers. 

“Always such good manners, hm, jagi? Such a well-behaved boy for me,” Taehyung praises as he lies between Jimin’s legs. He looks so pretty with his broad shoulders keeping Jimin spread open. The sight makes Jimin’s cock throb. 

“Tae,” Jimin whines, hands flying up to cover his face. It’s been so long since they’ve been intimate, and Jimin has always been shy about sex. Dirty talk never fails to make his cock twitch and his cheeks burn with embarrassment. 

“Hmm, baby? What was that?” Taehyung teases. He flicks his tongue against Jimin’s balls and releases an appreciative giggle when Jimin whines again. 

“Stop teasing me.” 

There is no denying that Taehyung has always given Jimin what he wants. It’s his weakness, his biggest character flaw. He can’t say no to the boy with fluffy blonde hair and pouty lips who looks at Taehyung with round eyes as Taehyung licks a stripe up his cock from the thick base to the wet tip.

“Anything for my soulmate,” Taehyung murmurs, his lips brushing against the head of Jimin’s cock, bottom lip sticking to the tip from the precum dribbling out. It’s beautifully sinful, filthy and loving, seeing Taehyung’s lips stretch around Jimin’s cock. 

Taehyung suckles the head, massaging his tongue against the underside where the nerves are sensitive. More precum leaks from Jimin just as quickly as moans spill from his lips. 

“Look at me,” Taehyung commands in a voice thick with lust. His tone makes goosebumps prickle across Jimin’s arms. 

Raising up on his elbows slightly, Jimin watches as Taehyung slowly takes Jimin’s cock down his throat, his dark eyes never leaving Jimin’s. His mouth's warm, wet heat is enough to send Jimin’s head back as a loud, broken moan rips from his throat. A hard pinch to the inside of his thigh has Jimin snapping his head back up, just to see Taehyung narrow his eyes and hum as he begins to bob his head. 

Look at me . 

Jimin has to behave because he said he would, and Taehyung likes it when he does what he’s supposed to. So he keeps his hips flat on the bed and watches Taehyung take him all the way until his sharp, pretty nose presses against Jimin’s pelvis. 

“Fuck, you taste so good,” Taehyung groans as he takes a moment to breathe. “You have the most perfect cock, jagi. So thick and pretty.” Taehyung dips his tongue into Jimin’s slit, and Jimin thinks he might cum already. 

Of course, Taehyung can tell. He’s teasing him on purpose, flicking his tongue against the tip of his cock repeatedly before suckling it, swirling his tongue around the ridge of the head. It’s maddening that he won’t take more of him into his mouth again, but Jimin knows Taehyung is trying to work him up. 

“Please, Tae,” Jimin tries to beg, knowing it won’t work. All he receives in response is a devilish smile as Taehyung tilts his head to pepper Jimin’s cock with open-mouthed kisses. 

“Pretty cock for a pretty boy.” 

“Don’t say that.” 

“But you should know how pretty you are.” Pulling away from Jimin completely, Taehyung licks his lips free of precum and spit. “You’d look even prettier split open on my cock.”  

“Taehyung!” 

“What? It’s true, isn’t it?” 

Groaning with both hands covering his face again, Jimin gently kicks Taehyung in the thigh when he kneels on the bed to reach for the bottle of lube neglected in their nightstand drawer. His hands remain on his burning face when Taehyung settles back between his legs and he hears the bottle cap open. 

“Hey, Jimin-ah,” Taehyung calls out. His voice is gentle, and when Jimin peeks through his fingers, he finds a soft look has replaced the dark lustfulness of Taehyung’s eyes.

“Yes?” 

Something about Jimin’s straightforward response makes Taehyung chuckle. He shakes his head, making his slightly damp dark curls sway over his forehead. “I think we’re kind of horny.” 

“Stop being nasty!” Jimin tries to kick him again, but Taehyung presses his hand to the inside of Jimin’s thigh. 

“I’m serious!” Taehyung insists with a laugh. “I just mean, I don’t want us to rush into this when our emotions were so high earlier. I want to make sure you are okay with this since it’s been a while, and you’ve been sad...” 

It’s so sweet how Taehyung cares for Jimin. It may be unhealthy to think that there isn’t anything wrong with Taehyung, but Jimin truly believes it. Perhaps selflessness is his one red flag. Regardless, it hurts Jimin’s heart from how cared for he feels as Taehyung stares down at him with adoration that he still can’t believe he fully deserves. 

One day, he thinks. One day, he’ll be convinced. 

“Don’t make me say it,” Jimin complains with a pout and puppy eyes. It typically doesn’t work, but he tries it just in case. 

“You must.”

“Why?”

“Consent is sexy, love.” 

With a huff, Jimin spreads his thighs a bit wider and does his best to put on a brave face when he looks Taehyung directly in his eyes and says in his most polite tone, “I would like you to fuck me, please.” 

“Mmm, that’s what I like to hear.” Jimin gives him another kick. “Hey! You better watch it.” Taehyung’s eyes sparkle with nothing but love, and Jimin knows that despite his insecurities, his eyes sparkle like that, too. 

Taehyung was right, though. They haven’t had sex in a while due to Jimin’s insecurities, and Jimin certainly hasn’t fingered himself recently. It’s evident in how tight Jimin is as Taehyung presses a lubed finger past his rim. It isn’t uncomfortable, but Jimin tenses anyway. Too many thoughts circulate in his head. Will he be too tight? Will he make Taehyung uncomfortable? What if they can’t have sex at all? What if it hurts Jimin? What if Taehyung thinks Jimin is being too difficult and gives up on him? 

“Jagi, can you relax for me?” Taehyung is gentle when he pushes a second finger in. Jimin watches him pour a little more lube to help with the slide. “You’re doing so good, just lie back, okay? Let me take care of you.” 

“Okay, okay,” Jimin rushes to say, dropping back onto the bed. He holds one leg to his chest while Taehyung pushes back the other with his free hand. “Can you keep talking to me?” 

“Dirty talk? Like how badly I want to fuck you? How I was thinking about it all night during the party because you looked so sexy in that outfit, wearing my favorite jeans on you that make your ass look–” 

“Oh my god, Taehyung.” Jimin smiles at the ceiling when he hears Taehyung chuckle. 

“Is it working?”

It is, but Jimin doesn’t want to tell him that. Besides, Taehyung already knows it’s working; he has three fingers in and is applying light pressure to Jimin’s prostate. Jimin trembles as Taehyung massages his most sensitive spot. Even though it’s slow and barely much of a caress, Taehyung’s skillful fingers work Jimin into a whimpering mess, coaxing moan after moan out of him until the room is full of Taehyung’s name and the squelch of lube. Jimin’s free hand fists the bed sheets above his head to give himself some semblance of self-control when Taehyung reaches up to circle a lubed finger around Jimin’s perky nipple. 

“Your nipples are so cute,” Taehyung muses, dragging his wet finger across Jimin’s chest to swirl around the other nipple. 

Jimin tries to scoff, but instead, he moans when Taehyung pinches his nipple. “N-nipples aren’t c-cute,” he stammers. 

“Yours are.” 

“They look, oh fuck,” Taehyung leans forward to suck one of Jimin’s nipples as he continues tweaking the other, “T-the same as, ohh god, as yours, fuck.” Distracted, Jimin doesn’t tense when Taehyung slowly thrusts four fingers inside of him. 

“So you think my nipples are cute?” 

“Taehyung, please, I’ll cum,” Jimin hiccups, moisture gathering at his eyelashes. Taehyung’s teasing is too much for Jimin to handle. His thighs quiver uncontrollably, and his cock leaks onto his stomach as Taehyung massages his prostate with the slightest of touches. 

Having mercy on him, Taehyung slowly removes his fingers and uses the excess lube to stroke his neglected cock. It hangs thick and heavy between his legs. Jimin can’t help but admire it as Taehyung applies a bit more lube, drizzling it directly onto his cock and hissing at the temperature. There are plenty of reasons for Jimin to adore Taehyung; his cock is most certainly on that list. 

When Taehyung’s hand pauses its stroking, Jimin flits his eyes up to see a slight smirk playing on Taehyung’s lips. 

“First, you were checking out my ass, now you’re checking out my dick.” 

“Kim Taehyung,” Jimin tries to scold, but then Taehyung is pressing the fat head of his cock against Jimin’s rim, and suddenly he can’t seem to make his mouth form words. All he can do is let it hang open as Taehyung slowly pushes forward. 

“Fuck, you open up so beautifully for me, jagi.” Taehyung squeezes the back of Jimin’s thigh and adjusts the angle to open him up better. He slides into Jimin slowly, mindful of any potential discomfort, though Jimin can tell by how Taehyung clenches his jaw that he’s just as affected as Jimin. 

And, fuck, is Jimin affected. His arm gives out before Taehyung is even halfway in, and Taehyung has to throw Jimin’s legs over his shoulders because Jimin can’t hold himself open anymore. 

“S-sorry,” Jimin moans, scrambling to hold onto the sheets when Taehyung lifts his hips to pull him the rest of the way onto his cock. His big hands squeeze Jimin’s hips, thumbs massaging Jimin’s stomach as he slowly begins to thrust into him. 

“This okay?” Taehyung reaches out to brush a few strands of hair from Jimin’s face. His pace is slow but measured, each thrust hitting deep and sharp. 

“S-so good, Tae, you feel so good,” Jimin babbles, his entire body pulsing with desire as Taehyung hits his prostate with every thrust. 

“You deserve to feel good,” Taehyung whispers against Jimin’s leg when he turns his head to the side to press a kiss there. “And all I want to do is make you feel good. For the rest of my life.” 

“Fuck,” Jimin whimpers, blinking back tears. “Stop being so sweet. Go back to the dirty talk.” 

Taehyung tosses his head back in a deep laugh that rumbles from his chest, and it makes Jimin feel good to have a partner he can cry and laugh with during sex. 

Sex isn’t always so emotional with Taehyung. Sometimes, it’s sweaty and fast-paced, just skin slapping, scratches, and bruises. But tonight, Jimin has to hold himself back from crying as Taehyung whispers praises into his skin and rocks into him like it’s the only thing he wants to do. 

This is the embarrassing part where Jimin starts telling Taehyung how much he loves his cock, how full he feels, how special Taehyung treats him. It does nothing to help with Taehyung’s ego, of course, for he just grins down at Jimin and caresses the side of his face, and tells him, “My cock was made for you, baby. Made to fill up your perfect little hole and make you cry my name so prettily.” 

Taehyung’s thrusts are intentional; neither of them will last very long, and Taehyung knows that. He purposefully focuses on Jimin’s pleasure, fucking into him at the perfect angle. There’s something tender about how he places his right hand on Jimin’s lower stomach and presses down slightly. The pressure forces Jimin to relax his muscles while heightening the feeling of Taehyung’s cock diving deeper inside him with each snap of Taehyung’s hips. Years of being in a relationship have given Taehyung the time to learn Jimin’s body, but Taehyung’s care for Jimin makes him know his body. 

Even though Jimin hates his body more often than not, he can’t deny that Taehyung treats it with so much care that sometimes he thinks he can see the beauty Taehyung sees. Taehyung makes him beautiful. 

“God, you’re incredible, baby,” Taehyung says after he inhales sharply. “You take me so well, make me feel so good.” It’s hot how he looks down at where they meet as if he’s seeing them connected for the first time. 

Jimin feels lightheaded as Taehyung praises him, each languid declaration of adoration and love matching the easy roll of Taehyung’s hips against his. He squeezes the bunched-up bed sheets in his fists even tighter and tilts his chin in a silent request. 

Taehyung leans forward, pressing Jimin’s thighs against his chest to capture his lips in his own. They’re sloppier this time, Taehyung drawing Jimin’s tongue into his mouth and sucking it at the same smooth pace he’s fucking him. 

“I’m close,” Jimin gasps, quickly letting go of the bed with one hand to reach for his cock. 

“No,” Taehyung swats at Jimin’s hand, grabbing his wrist and holding it against the bed, “I’ve got you, jagi. We’ll cum today, okay? Can you do that for me, baby?” He smears the precum leaking from Jimin’s tip down the length of his cock and begins to pump his fist at the same pace as he fucks into Jimin. 

“Y-y-yess, please, Tae, I can, for you,” Jimin cries, and Taehyung has to hold him against the bed to stop his hips from bucking and throwing off Taehyung’s already slipping rhythm as he fucks them toward their release. 

It’s hot, letting Taehyung jerk Jimin off as he fucks him. It allows Jimin to give in to the pleasure without having to concentrate on getting himself off. He can let his brain turn to static, white noise enveloping him as he cums all over his stomach and chest with a silent cry. His mouth falls open in a perfect O-shape, and every muscle in his body constricts. 

The only sound that breaks through the static is Taehyung crying out his name in the sweetest of songs as he cums inside of him. 

“Fuck,” Taehyung groans, his grip on Jimin’s waist bruising as he lazily fucks his cum into him, sliding all the way out to watch the thick head of his cock push it back inside. It’s messy and wet and makes Jimin’s legs shake, but he relishes the oversensitivity because it’s been too long since he’s been brave enough to share his body.

It isn’t until Taehyung fully pulls out that Jimin begins to cry. It doesn’t help that the sweet praises and whispered promises of care from Taehyung increase tenfold when he scoops Jimin up into his arms and cuddles him, cum and all, against his chest. 

“Baby…” 

“This is so embarrassing,” Jimin groans, frantically wiping away the hot tears sliding sideways down his face. “I swear, I’m not upset.” And he isn’t. There’s just… pressure inside his chest, and the longer Taehyung holds him in his arms, the less pressure he feels. 

“Crying is natural,” Taehyung begins, dangerously close to turning into Therapist Taehyung, but the roughness of his after-sex voice makes it hard for Jimin to pay attention to much else. 

Ignoring Taehyung’s comment, Jimin nuzzles his face into the crook of his neck as Taehyung runs his hands over his back. “Why are you so perfect?” 

Taehyung snorts. “Perfection doesn’t exist.” 

Jimin pulls back far enough to look into Taehyung’s eyes. They’re no longer dark with lust, but the intensity of his love for Jimin will always be there. 

“I thought you said I was perfect.” 

“Oh, hush.” With a roll of his eyes, Taehyung crushes Jimin into his chest and swings his leg over his hip, sufficiently locking him into place. “You are the only form of perfection that exists. Is that better?” 

Jimin doesn’t believe Taehyung, not entirely, not yet. But he smiles against Taehyung’s warm skin and thinks he will one day. 

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