#but then i realized i also wanted to change up heather slightly

[heartlessmonsterlover]

#oc: lou #oc: heather #i just wnated to draw heather in a cute outfit but it made me realize that i hadn't properly settled on a lou design yet #they both came to me in a dream #and i changed up heather's appearance slightly for sure #but lou looked way too similar to an actor who simply does not fit the vibe #but then i realized i also wanted to change up heather slightly #i think it has more to do with color choices since i only did 1 fully colored drawing of her #i might change up some other stuff but i am feeling somewhat satisfied with these #previously lou was rather lanky and i think this appearance fits better #i also think i want to give heather some tattoos if i'm being completely honest #lou too maybe. i don't know #or some piercings? #can dhampirs get piercings? #one thing i read said they don't have any bones and it haunts me

[catierambles]

Back in the Saddle

Pairing: Syverson x Heather Markum (OFC)

WC 3282

Warnings: Some talk about divorce, sterilization, and childlessness

@brattymum96 , @ouroboros113 , @peaches1958 , @summersong69 , @eldarwen333 , @omgkatinka , @identity2212 , @lucypaulette , @km-ffluv , @kebabgirl67 , @squeezyvalkyrie , @rebelangel1102 , @dopegardensaladhuman

By hour two she was about ready to shotgun a bottle of wine or stab someone with a spoon. It wouldn’t be so bad if she had her phone, but the speed dating company that one of her friends had registered her with had a strict “no phones” policy, and she was given a numbered key in exchange for her things when she got to the restaurant, her bag locked securely in a locker in the back. Damnit, Beckah, she was fine. Who cares if she hasn’t dated once since her divorce? It was her choice and all the guys their age wanted something that she just wouldn’t and couldn’t give them. It would just be a repeat of history, save for the walk down the aisle and credit card debt.

The first guys that sat across from her, she couldn’t even remember their names or faces anymore, and given that they each had half an hour, that was telling how forgettable they were. One went on and on about his job in the stock market and crypto, flashing his fake Rolex whenever he could (it ticked, not swept, so it was fake) and veneered smile. Another devolved into a rant about his mother, making her chug her wine. Also not her fault she couldn't control her face when around people that bugged her.

"Okay, gentlemen!" The host said after the bell rang, "Move on to the next lucky lady!"

"Is it time already?" The guy across from her said, Dave? Or was it Tim? She didn't care. "I'll be looking for you in my stream audience, hope to see you there."

"Yep." She said and he got up, moving to the next table.

"Damn, doll." She heard as she saw the next guy sit down from the corners of her vision, "You look about as miserable as me." She couldn't help it, she laughed, and it made her look up at him. He was handsome, in a rugged kind of way, with a buzzed head of dark hair that came to a widow's peak, a full beard on his jaw, and clear blue eyes. What the hell was he doing at a speed dating event? What was wrong with him?

"That obvious, huh?" She asked.

"Just a bit." He said with a shrug. "Jake Syverson, call me Sy." He held his hand out slightly across the table and she took it, his palm rough and his hand dwarfing hers.

"Heather Markum." She said and they shook briefly. He was the first to get her full name, as the company didn't believe in name tags, wanting their introductions to be "organic".

"So," He sighed, "Well-meanin' friend set you up with this shindig?"

"Yup." She said and he nodded.

"Same." He said, “Told me I needed to get “back in the saddle”, so to speak.”

“Been a while?”

“I was in a long-term thing for the last couple of years, but I got home from deployment and found her in bed with another guy. Dumped her then and there.” Sy said, very matter-of-factly, and she gave a low whistle.

“Damn.” She said and he nodded.

“You?”

“You could say I was in prison.” She said and he arched a brow at her, “Married.”

“Oh.” He said with a snort. “Mind my askin’ what ended it?”

“Not at all. He wanted kids, I didn’t.”

“Thought he woulda found that out before he put a ring on ya.”

“Oh, he knew. He knew while we were dating, while we were engaged, and while we were married. He thought I would change my mind or I would make an exception for him. He realized I was serious about it when I got myself sterilized.” Heather said.

“That’ll do it. Fucked up policy, but don’t they ask the husband if that’s okay?”

“I lied on the paperwork and said I was single, and we have separate insurances so he didn’t come up when they ran it.” Heather said and he nodded again.

“Well, I don’t want kids either. I have enough nieces and nephews to know that yeah, I like kids, but I like’em better when I can give’em back.” Sy said and she snorted.

“You said you were deployed?”

“Army.” Sy said and she nodded.

“Still active?” She asked and he nodded.

“What about you? How do you pay the bills?”

“I have an OnlyFans.”

“Really?” He asked, his voice pitching up slightly and she snorted.

“No, not really, I’m in real estate.” She said.

“Damn, I was about to ask you for your handle.” He said, making her laugh again. The rest of the half-hour went by far too quickly for her liking. He was charming, made her laugh, and had a killer smile that made his blue eyes sparkle. Soon the five-minute warning chime went off, signaling their time together was coming to an end. “Can I give you my number?”

“You absolutely can.” She said and he gave her another smile, grabbing the supplied pad of paper and pen and scribbling it down for her to add to her phone when she got it back. The end bell rang and he sighed, pushing up from his seat and touching her shoulder lightly as he went past, Heather watching him go before turning her eyes forward again, the next guy already seated.

“Hello, gorgeous.” He said with a sleazy smile and she sighed, pouring herself another glass of wine.

The rest of the night dragged on with none of them holding a candle to Sy and soon, thankfully, it was over. Turning in the key, she got her things and stepped out into the night air.

“Heather!” She heard and turned around, seeing Sy walking over to her, weaving his way through the other people also leaving the restaurant.

“Hey.” She said, unable to stop the smile from pulling at her lips. They moved to the side as he reached her so they weren’t in the flow of traffic and now that they were both standing, she could see just how massive he really was. Tall, broad through the chest and shoulders, narrow through the waist and his slacks hugged his thighs just right.

Down, girl.

“The rest of my night was a bust.” He said, “Yours?”

“Yours is the only number I accepted.”

“Good, ‘cus you were the only one I offered it to.” He said and she felt a small blush come over her cheeks, “The rest of the ladies I talked to just…couldn’t compare.”

“You hungry?” She asked and he sighed.

“Starving.” He admitted, making her giggle slightly. “In the mood for something special? We are in the neighborhood for it.”

“A cheeseburger, with bacon and mushrooms. Greasier the better.” She said.

“Woman, if you’re tryin’ to seduce me, it’s workin’.” He said, making her laugh, “You don’t gotta be so heavy-handed with it though, damn.” He smiled at her continued laughter before holding out his hand, “Come on, doll. I eyed a burger place down the street as I was drivin’ up. Let’s get some meat in ya.” He winked at her, well tried to, and she swatted at his arm playfully.

“Cheeky bastard.” She said, taking his hand, a small thrill going through her chest as he laced their fingers. Okay, this felt nice. He was handsome, charming, funny, with a slightly naughty sense of humor. Please don’t turn out to be a serial killer.

They talked as they walked and she thanked her foresight to wear flats and not heels. The burger place was a glorified hole in the wall, so she knew the food would be fantastic. They were extremely overdressed compared to the rest of the patrons and got some looks as they were placing their orders, Sy grabbing the numbered flag that was slid forward and they found themselves a seat towards the back, Sy sitting with his back to the wall and a clear line of sight on the entrance. Must be a military thing. He had insisted on paying for her food even though she told him he didn't have to.

The conversation picked up where it left off and they shared some more things about themselves, how she had originally gone to school with an arts major but switched to business when she realized that unless she wanted to teach, an arts degree wouldn't really get her anywhere. Sy had a bachelor's in Criminal Justice, which got him into the Army Officer's Program once he graduated. He wasn't just in the Army, she found out, he was a Captain.

"So what kinda real estate do you do?" He asked, taking a sip of his soda.

"Commercial." Heather said, "Office buildings and such. Bigger price tags mean a bigger commission, and I don't have to be constantly flipping properties."

"Sounds pretty relaxed."

"It's got its challenges, like when a Fortune 500 company tries to lowball me, but I manage." She said and their food arrived, the server setting the trays down and taking the flag with her. "Goddamn." The burger was massive, covered in cheese, bacon, and mushrooms.

"Eyes bigger than your stomach?" He asked, picking up his own burger.

"Shit no." She said and dug in, letting out a low sound when she bit into it, making him cough on a piece of his burger. "Food goes in stomach, not lungs."

"I'm trying." He wheezed, taking a sip of his drink. "Shit, doll." She just smiled into her food, biting into a couple of the rough-cut fries that came with the burger. 

"Fries are good too." She said and they resumed talking in between bites, the conversation not dying even after they finished their food.

"You parked by the restaurant?" He asked, "The looks we're gettin', they probably want to close up."

"Yeah, in the lot next to it." She said and they stood, taking their trays over to the bin and dumping the garbage before setting them on top, wishing the staff a good night as they walked out.

"I'll walk you to your car, I'm parked in the same lot anyway." Sy said and offered his hand again. She took it and again he laced their fingers, that small fluttering in her chest making a comeback. They didn't talk as they walked back, but it was a comfortable, companionable silence. Her car and she guessed his truck were the only ones in the lot and he walked her to the driver's side as she dug out her keys. "I wasn't expecting much from tonight, but I’m glad it turned out the way it did."

"Me too." She said with a small smile and there was a slight hesitation on his part.

"Heather, can I…can I give you a kiss?" He asked and her smile widened.

"I'd like that." She said and he smiled back before leaning into her. His lips were soft as they brushed over hers and her eyes closed as she pressed back against him. His hands came up to hold the sides of her jaw as he seemed to fall into the kiss and her own hands found their way to his trim waist, sliding under his suit jacket that he hadn't buttoned. Okay, he was good at this and her heart pounded in her chest as he kissed her. He finally broke away, breathing heavily, and she opened her eyes, seeing his were closed still.

“Let me know you got home okay?” He asked, his eyes still closed.

“Yeah.” She said, having put his number in her phone earlier and given him hers. She wanted to ask if he wanted to come back to her place, but it was way too early for that and she didn’t want to give him the wrong impression about her. They said their goodnights and he moved away, but she noticed that he didn’t get into his truck until she got into her car and started it.

She barely remembered the drive home, her mind and heart soaring from the night and the kiss they shared, but she did remember to send him a text once she got inside and locked the door, letting him know she was home safe like he requested. She got a simple heart emoji back but it made her smile nonetheless.

Taking off her makeup and getting changed into her pajamas, she brushed her teeth and got into bed, setting her phone on the charger.  She lay there for a little bit before giving a small giggle, wiggling a little under the covers in giddy excitement. She felt like a teenager again, not a divorcee, but then a moment of doubt crossed over her mind. What if he didn’t feel the same? What if she never heard from him again? He didn’t give her the impression of someone who would ghost someone, but you never knew. Whatever happened, happened. If she never heard from him again, then so be it. She’d be a little heartbroken, but it was ultimately his choice.

Sleep came quickly after that and she drifted off.

The chime of a notification from her phone is what woke her the next morning and she opened her eyes, blinking blearily and reaching for it. Turning on the screen, she saw she had a text from him and couldn’t stop the smile from pulling at her lips. It was a picture of him still in bed, his head resting on his pillow as he laid on his side, the selfie showing that he obviously went to bed with no shirt on as she saw a bit of hairy chest that was obviously muscular.

“Morning, beautiful.” The message said and she tapped in her reply.

“Morning, handsome.” A bit lame, she knew, but she just woke up. “I look like a swamp witch first thing in the morning, so you’re not getting a selfie.”

“Lol fair enough. Plans for today?”

“Nothing really, seeing as it’s the weekend.”

“Wanna meet for coffee? There’s this great spot I like that has killer muffins.”

“Absolutely, send me the address.” It came over a moment later and she put it into her GPS app, seeing that it was about a twenty-minute drive away. “Meet in about 45?” She needed time to get herself presentable, after all.

“I’ll be there.” She hoisted herself out of bed after that, taking a quick shower and throwing on clothes after too long of a deliberation. Casual, flirty, sexy was out for just coffee. She decided on nicer jeans, a long-sleeved shirt with a V neck, and black leather flats, twisting her hair up and keeping it secure with her hair clip that looked like skeleton arms. As it was, she was late leaving and nearly walked out of the house without her keys. Can’t go anywhere without those.

The drive to the coffee place was a blur of nervous anticipation and soon she was looking for parking, having already seen him sitting at a table outside of the shop. Finally finding a spot, she got out and walked up.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” She said and he looked up, setting down his cup and standing to pull her into a hug, pressing his lips to her cheek. Damn, he smelled good.

“It’s perfectly fine, got here not too long ago myself.” He said and she sat down across from him, a server coming over to take her order a moment later.

“So I don’t know what we’re going to talk about.” She admitted with a small, nervous giggle, “We pretty much covered everything last night.”

“I’m fine with just sittin’ here enjoyin’ your company.” Sy said she felt the wide smile pull across her face.

“Son of a bitch.” She said, looking away from him and shaking her head.

“What?” He asked with a chuckle.

“You’re not real, you can’t be. You have to be a paid actor or something.” She said and he gave a laugh.

“I ain’t that, trust me. Besides, even if I was gettin’ paid, I’d give the money back.” He said, giving her a clumsy wink.

“Motherfucker no one is this charming.” That made him laugh again and he was still chuckling when her coffee came. They talked about nothing in particular as they drank their coffee, sitting there long after their cups were empty. “And that’s why I can’t stand horror movies.”

“Makes sense.” Sy said with a shrug, “You understand basic anatomy and you know someone ain’t gonna spray blood from what’s basically a papercut.”

“Also, with Jason Takes Manhattan, subway tracks are alternating current, not direct. He would have been pushed away from the tracks when he touched them, not grafted to them.”

“You sure do know a lot of random trivia.”

“I get bored and I google things.” She said and he snorted.

“Fair enough.” He said, “What’re your plans for the rest of the day?”

“Nothing really, I usually just sleep on the weekends.”

“No errands you gotta run?”

“Adulting is for the weekdays, there’s no adulting on weekends.” She said and something caught her eye, making her look over, but she looked forward quickly again, hiding the side of her face with her hand. “Oh no, please don’t see me.”

“Darlin’?” Sy asked, giving her a questioning look, and the sunlight hitting the table was blocked.

“Heather?” She heard and dropped her hand, looking up and giving him a tense smile.

“David, hi.” She said.

“What’re you doing here? Who’s this?” David asked.

“It’s a coffee shop, I’m having coffee. David, this is Sy. Sy this is my ex-husband, David.” Heather said and Sy moved his head at him.

“Hey.” He said, correctly reading the mood.

“He your new boyfriend, or something?” David asked, giving him a dismissive look.

“Too soon to tell, really.” Sy said, “I like spendin’ time with her, though. Like talkin’ to her. Wouldn’t mind takin’ her out on a proper date, if she’ll have me.”

“Oh my god, Sy.” Heather said with a smile, “Yeah I wouldn’t mind that either.”

“All right, then.” Sy said with a smile and David huffed.

“You know she isn’t going to give you kids, right?” David asked.

“Yeah, I know.” Sy said and shrugged, “And?”

“He’s the one who asked for the divorce, not me.” Heather said and Sy gave an understanding nod.

“I see.” Sy said, “Well, my guy, it’s her body, so it's her choice. She doesn’t want to have kids, then that’s that. She’d be the one carryin’em. I don’t want kids either, so that works out for me.”

“What about your legacy? Who’s going to carry that on?”

“My what?” Sy asked and Heather gave a suffering sigh.

“For the last time, David, you don’t have a legacy. Monarchs have legacies, you have a ten-year-old Corolla and student debt.” She said and Sy snorted. “Now if you don’t mind.” She turned her attention back to Sy, “Where did you want to go?”

“How do you feel about laser tag?” He asked.

“Aren’t you in the Army?”

“I’ll go easy on ya!” He said and she laughed.

“Laser tag sounds like fun.” Heather said, “But I can be bold for a moment?”

“As bold as you wanna be.” Sy said and she beckoned him with a finger, making him lean over the table to get closer to her.

“How about…” She started whispering in his ear, his facial expression ranging from shocked, to amused, to excited.

“Girl, you’re dirty! I accept those terms because either way I win.” He said sitting back again and there was a moment before he looked back up at David. “What’re you still doin’ here? Lady dismissed you.”

“Yeah.” Heather said, “Bye, David.”

#henry cavill #captain syverson #back in the saddle

[writing-now-andthen]

JD With A Humiliation Kink X Reader

@hugs4jd inspired me<3 (especially w the bit you said about bullying so I tried to use that)

Okay this is like an exploration of JDs kink and his feelings involving it followed by him telling you, about it

If anyone likes this and want to see more with anything specific they have in mind plzz request it (seriously if it's not on my will not write list, I'll probably do it)

F slur, swearing, Beetlejuice reference, reader teases/makes fun of him but he likes it, JD on receiving end

JDs pretty much been bullied at least a little bit at every school he's been to, it's typically a fun mix of him being a "fag" and jealousy over the fact that what makes pricks think he's too queer, only adds to his ability to pull chicks

Particularly ones that are a little more on the alt side, which I think Veronica would have been more of if she didn't been sucked in by the heathers (think a little more Lydia Deetz)

Anyway, he of course, has found some rather... Extreme ways to deal with assholes, so other then his burning hatred for the people who make life miserable simmering under the surface...

It doesn't bother him too much, in the way that he's not really hurt by it

However

There is this one thing

Now it doesn't happen anymore since he became armed and dangerous

But pre Westerburg there had been occasions where he's been shoved around a little, bullied either physically or verbally

And he can totally deal with it

With that said, he had a mild tendency to freeze up if too many people were paying attention to what was being said/done to him

I swear he's always been smooth as hell, it's just that mostly applies when one on one or maybe a small group, kinda weird because I think he'd be able to get in front of a crowd and give a speech because he'd be able to zone out and ignore all the people

He's way better at seeming chill when he's not nowadays

But anyway back to before

So yeah he would freeze up, he'd get very conscious of all the people, he'd get embarrassed

He started to notice that being embarrassed resulted in a certain reaction from him

If you're not catching on the reaction was arousal, and once he realized that, it started getting him super turned on

There was one instance where he popped a boner because of it and then got beat up for being queer

Was very happy when he got home to hear he was switching schools again

Didn't need to go back there after he got hard from that guy bullying him

"What? You like this, you freak?"

Has thought about it since then, it's kinda hot for him especially now that he's distanced himself from the whole event

He doesn't feel any shame about his kink, he's just embarrassed to tell you

I mean what if you think it's weird or you tell people about it

Thinks that would kill him

If he was just minding his business one day and someone said something about it to him, he'd kill them, but also he'd die

He could shoot all the blanks he wants but he knows people would still talk

Small Town and all

He thinks about you teasing him about it though

He gets off thinking about you making him admit what he likes

Now let's get to where he does tell you

Starts by saying there's this one thing he's into

Tries so hard to downplay it but he won't make eye contact with you

It's just uhh, he has this thing where he gets off on being embarrassed or humiliated, and now he'd like to change the subject, so were you thinking about seeing that movie that just came out?

Please don't let him change the subject you could have so much fun with right now

Tell him you think it's cute, he'll hide his face like you're making fun of him

You've never seen him like this

Don't let him hide his face, look at the way it gets dusted pink

"I'm sorry, am I embarrassing you?"

See him roll his eyes, but he won't say no

"so does that mean you're turned on right now?"

And see him splutter and look around the room

But nod his head yes, ever so slightly

He has a tendency to scratch the back of his neck when he gets shy or embarrassed

Honestly you could get him rock hard just by talking about his humiliation kink

And you do

You're going to ask him for specifics later but right now you're just going to tease him

Kind of a fantasy fulfilled for him because you start making him tell you how he's getting off on you embarrassing him

"Yes alright I like it, I'm getting off on you embarrassing me"

He says it defiantly but tell him how cute that is again and he's back to being flustered

Whisper something about it in his ear while you're in public and watch him try to hide how flustered he is

Be careful he's a little hesitant with public play

Really really scared of people finding out

Not that he's unwilling to do anything public

I very likely will make another one of these anyway so if you have something in mind you can request it

Masterlist

#jason dean #jason dean heathers #jason dean x reader #jd heathers #jd x reader

[dragonfly0808]

The Heathers Soundtrack Essay: You Only Have Yourselves to Blame for This

(I may not be wording this as well as I’d like cause I’m sick as fuck and I’m not sure I’m thinking very clearly but I’ll try to be cohesive)

Beautiful

So, Beautiful is such a good start to our story. It’s an 8 minute track but not a second of it feels unnecessary or boring. This is a perfect track not just to set the scene and the mood of Veronica’s high school and the people there, but it also does a great job at introducing almost every single important character in this musical.

For Veronica I personally get the vibe of someone who used to be, and may still want to be positive but has just been worn down by the cruelty of not ‘fitting in’ and being deemed an outcast. (As someone who was bullied for years for the stupidest reasons ever -being short and reading- I really feel every lyric from Veronica.) Veronica in this song tells us, we used to be so beautiful as children when we were innocent and we didn’t buy into steroetypes and stupid societal hierarchies, why can’t we go back to that? I am pissed that we can’t go back to that. I want to burn this place down because of all the pain I’ve been given for no real reason. At the end of the song, she seems to regain some of her hope and positivity at the chance of being one of the Heathers.

Martha feels like she’s trying to cling to her positivity. Like someone who indulges in the fantastical for some good old’ escapism (‘I’m a sucker for a happy ending’) she just gives me barely-holding-on vibes from what few lines she has here.

Kurt and Ram, I’ll only say, they’re asses and they sell it.

The moment when they’re all singing and lines overlap with each other is beautiful. Like, everyone is struggling in different ways, even if not everyone shows it.

Then… the Heathers. They’re moment in the bathroom perfectly sets each one of them up. Heather McNamara as the ‘softest’ of the Heathers and the most insecure as well as maybe a tiny bit ditzy. Her intro sets her up perfectly but also, later on we’ll see just how many layers she has.

Heather Duke, she cares ever so slightly about McNamara but is a bitch to Veronica, snapping at her for no real reason.

And of course… Heather Chandler, the icon. She’s just bitchy but in an almost classy way that I can’t really describe and I love her.

Also, quick note on the bathroom scene: I find it interesting the way the teacher, Miss Flemming speaks in this scene. Like, she’s almost giddy to have an excuse to put the Heathers in detention and very clearly doesn’t give a single flying shit about McNamara throwing up and in fact makes it a joke ‘Perhaps you didn’t hear the bell over all the vomiting-‘. That to me could be a nod to those teachers who just make high school/school in general worse than it has to be. Teachers that target specific students or that try and make themselves feel superior in weird ways. You know which ones I’m talking about.

Right now, I have a specific teacher that loves to embarrass students and it’s really fucking draining.

But yeah, Beautiful to me may be my favorite intro track to a Musical. It just works so well, I love it!

200/100

Candy Store

Do I have to say anything about this song? Come on, we all love it. It embodies the Heathers, especially Chandler perfectly. Heather Chandler is a grade A bitch. She’s unapologetic and she doesn’t really seem to have a conciense and if it is it is tied to a chair and gagged. Like, I think Heather Chandler would either never really see the error of her way (more accurately, she does know it’s wrong but she just never cares) or she gets to a point in which she realizes that she’s a bad person and tries to change for the better. But that obviously will never happen for her character so she’s stuck in this place in time/in her life when she truly did not give a single flying shit about anything or anyone. And that’s what truly allows her to shine.

Heather Chandler isn’t supposed to be a tragic character, that’s what Candy Store represents to me, she’s horrible and doesn’t care about even her closest friends. But she’s forced into being a tragic character with a sob story by Veronica and JD later in the story. And it’s this fake narrative that changes how everyone looks at her.

In the song we also see a bit of the dynamic between the Heathers. Like how Duke seems to want the spotlight but is literally shoved back by Chandler. How McNamara mostly goes along with everything but also her line ‘if she had your shot, she would leave you to rot’ gives me teeny tiny projection vibes from her.

250/100

Fight For Me

I love this song. It’s so… it’s almost corny and cheesy but in the best way possible.

I don’t have much to say other than listening to this with headphones truly just transports you to another world, you really get into it and it’s awesome.

(Though I will never forget that time it came up on shuffle during a car ride and my mom just kinda stared at me cause, the beginning is literally just ‘Holy shit’ x 20)

95/100

Freeze Your Brain

I love JD so much… his songs may be my fave…

Freeze Your Brain is just so amazing, it gives you a lot of insight not just into his character but also his mindset at the moment.

He’s just kinda given up in a way, why bother with making bonds with other people if he’s going to have to leave eventually?

He’s almost drifting through life, untethered to anything or anyone with no real purpose. At this point, he’s still a frozen lake.

He doesn’t see the point but he still doesn’t want to straight up die. So he does the best that he can to not feel the emptiness and pain inside this. ‘Happiness comes when everything numbs, who needs cocaine?’

And of course, the best line (and my fave) in the song:

‘And when the voice in your head says you’re better off dead, don’t open a vein! Freeze your brain.’ This is also the only moment in which we see his shield crack a bit, his voice changes, and we hear a tiny bit of the pain within him when he hits the high note.

200/100

Big Fun

Kurt and Ram are assholes, Veronica is way in over her head, Martha is too pure for this world, Duke is berated by Chandler and Heather Chandler is a menace to society.

What’s new?

Also, ‘There’s no alcohol in this, are you trying to poison me?’ Made me laugh way more than it should have.

And, ‘Showing up here took some guts, time to rip them out’ … Heather?! What the fuck?! She’s an absolute menace and I love it. STEP ON ME!

Just a fun song to reinforce what we already know about the characters and to exaggerate the high school experience.

90/100

Dead Girl Walking

…she’s an icon. We know her, we love her. She’s a legend.

A bop to lose one’s viriginity to (I’m Ace DO NOT take that seriously)

But in all seriousness I love this song. Veronica is just spiraling and truly decides ‘fuck it’ and goes to JD’s house.

‘So the world’s unfair keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful. Let’s make this beautiful’. These are two outsiders, two ‘others’ finding comfort in each other.

I think this: ‘I know it’s cause you’re beautiful, you say you’re numb inside but I can’t agree.’ Is when JD truly falls for Veronica, I think he was always attracted to her but I think this was his …oh moment.

Aside from deepening their relationship and being (in my opinion) the moment they both truly fall in love it’s just loads of fun and a bop.

250/100

The Me Inside of Me

This is when the chaos truly begins.

Veronica and JD accidentally kill Heather Chandler and now they want to make it seem like a suicide. So Veronica fakes a suicide letter.

I… love this song. Honestly more because of the… almost critisism of society than the actual song ajajjajaa

So, as I said earlier Heather Chandler isn’t really presented as a tragic or misunderstood character. But that’s exactly what she becomes when Veronica literally manipulates her narrative in the suicide note.

Now, Heather Chandler is suddenly this misunderstood girl that no one truly saw. She’s more of a concept for people to project their own pain and fears on to.

The teachers that thought she was the devil all of a sudden are saying ‘Oh, we just misjudged her. This is the loveliest suicide note I’ve ever read’.

She almost becomes a spectacle (which Heather herself seems to love ‘I’m bigger than John Lennon!’). All of a sudden everyone cares when before, everyone hated her.

Then there’s the line ‘Heather would be so proud of you!’ Which just makes me feel icky in the best way possible cause like… how the fuck would you know that? You are the one who said Heather was misjudged and never thought much of her but one read of the suicide note and you know her mindset?

Idk if I’m explaining myself all that well but let’s just say that I love how almost ironic this is and how everyone seems to see Heather as a martyr and someone to project their own feelings on to. Especially since we only really get the reactions of outsiders, not the Heathers or her parents who actually knew her and were (supposedly) close to her.

They only see her as someone who just maybe may have needed help after her death.

I just love it

200/100

Blue

This will be short. I’ll just say that this song had no right to be that fucking hilarious. You could take almost any lyric of this song out of context and it’d still be either hilarious or absolutely stump you.

Like, first time listening you’re just like… what the actual fuck is happening? Third time you’re screaming along cause you just can’t not do it.

100/100

Our Love is God

Welp, this is the start of JD’s unhinged arc…

First off we just have gorgeous, gorgeous vocals and I just die at the final high note every single time ugh!

Now. First part of the song (pre Kurt and Ram showing up) is beautiful.

It shows what we already know to be true. That deep down both Veronica and JD are incredibly vulnerable kids who just want someone to lean on. Someone to say ‘You’re not alone’, someone to understand not just the pain, but the rage that can come from years of being picked on, of being alone.

‘Are you okay?’ ‘I was alone. I was a frozen lake, but then you melted me awake see now I’m crying to.’ SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

We also get a tiny peek, a hint at what will happen later in the song from the very start ‘They made you cry. But that will end tonight. You are the only thing that’s right about this broken world. Go on and cry. But when the morning comes, we’ll burn it down and then we’ll build the world again.’ We already know that JD is depressive and maybe even suicidal. We know that he’s kinda given up on life and is just drifting through. Then he meets Veronica, who dissolves the numbness.

Of course she’s gonna be important to him and he’s going to be pissed when she’s hurt… but we don’t realize just how far JD is willing to go until later on.

Then… Kurt and Ram show up at the cemetery and what Veronica believes to be a prank… ends up being real.

She watches JD kill both of them and slowly realizes that, ‘I worship you’ ‘We’re what killed the dinosaurs, we’re the asteroid that’s overdue’ ‘they died because God said they must, the new world needed room for me and you’. Meant something a little different to JD than what it meant to her.

I think the last part of the song can be summed up by ‘And it was at this moment she knew, she fucked up.’

350/100

My Dead Gay Son

Another song more on the comedy side, I love it. Now, while Kurt and Ram also become a spectacle, this one is least about them than it is about why they supposedly died.

Are there a lot of stereotypes in this song? Yes, but it’s set in the 80’s and also it’s comedic so I pass it.

But there are also a few genuien moments that… not gonna lie get me sometimes. I really love the way that the dad’s are truly like, you know what? I don’t care that my son was gay, he should’ve been able to have a good life and that’s what I want the world to know.

Also, ‘Go forth and love each other now like our boys would’ve done’… ouch.

200/100

Seventeen

…I am just… *screams*

While my fave track changes every 5 seconds, Seventeen is probably my most listened to track. It’s just so beautiful.

From the very first lines of ‘Fine, we’re damaged. Really damaged. But that does not make us wise.’ I knew this song was gonna wreck me. And man did it wreck me.

This is just, Veronica imploring JD to not go down this dark path anymore.

This song is, I don’t want glory or a legendary life, I just want a normal life. I just want to be able to take a walk around the park and eat ice cream with you. Why can’t we have that?

I love the concept of Veronica being like, I thought my pain and trauma made me want to strike a match and set this dumb ablaze but now I realize that I just want a normal, soft life. With JD.

Also, the fact that JD doesn’t sing until the, ‘People hurt us.’ ‘Or they vanish.’ Hurts me in ways that I can’t quite explain.

And JD is really willing to try, he wants Veronica. A part of him wants revenge and pain but a part of him also wants that soft life. To be seventeen with her.

‘If you could let me in, I could be good with you’. I feel like that line sums up Veronica and JD so well and it hurts. If you could just let down your walls, show me who you are and I know that we could be so good together, that we could help each other so much. Ugh.

And then… the outro.

‘Yeah we’re damaged.’ ‘Badly damaged.’ But your love’s too good to lose. ‘Hold me tighter.’ ‘Even closer.’ ‘I’ll stay if I’m what you choose, cause you’re the one I choose’.

…Murder me right now that would hurt less.

This song is just too much!!!

400/100

Shine a Light

I think this one is a really fun song with an actual pretty good message. You know, ‘Why not shine a light on your biggest fears? If we show the ugly parts that we hide away, they turn out to be beautiful by the light of day! Shine and your scars and your flaws will look lovely because you shine, you shine a light!’

I have so much fun every single time this song plays, it’s just really upbeat and I love it.

Also, Idk why I always picture Veronica and JD just trading glances and smiles during this song and it makes me want to cry.

Also also, Pauline’s part slayed.

120/100

Lifeboat

…so… this is when Heather McNamara’s mask fully breaks and we see just how vulnerable and scared she is.

Every line of this song is just… wow. (Fun fact: My theater group back in high school was going to put on a Heathers musical despite none of us being able to sing and I was going to audition for Heather McNamara cause I really wanted to do this song but then… fucking pandemic ruined everything)

This song to me is one of the ultimate break-down-moment-song. You can truly feel Heather’s pain and panic and fear. She’s trapped in this role, has to play it to perfection or she knows that she’ll be replaced or left behind in an instant. She knows that Chandler never cared about her and would’ve had no problem kicking her to the curb. She knows that she can’t let people in without being torn down.

‘Everyone’s pushing, everyone’s fighting. Storms are approaching, there’s nowhere to hide. If I say the wrong thing, or I wear the wrong outfit, they’ll throw me right over the side!’ …I couldn’t even process this the first time I heard it.

I just love this song. In less than 2 minutes we get so much context and depth for Heather McNamara. I feel like McNamara at least to me is the most tragic character in this musical before Veronica joins the Heathers.

350/100 Will make you cry

Shine a Light (Reprise)

This song is… panic. That’s all I really have to say. This song is panic.

100/100

Kindergarten Boyfriend

This is definetely my least listened to song but I listened to it the other day and I wanted to slap myself cause like, why don’t I listen to this more often?

Along with McNamara, Martha is the other tragic character even before the story begins. (Though of course JD is THE tragic character of Heathers).

Martha is lonely and probably depressed, just really good at hiding it. Her best friend stabs her in the back to join the popular kids and she learns that her crush never liked her and was gay (or at least she believes that).

She looks back at the days before the kids learned about the ‘ideal man/woman’ before they started to care about that shit, when they were just kids. ‘Then he woke up.’ NO SWEETIE.

‘Now we’re all grown up and we know better… Certain boys are just for kindergarten. Certain girls are meant to be alone.’ Fuck me.

But yeah… this song in underrated and deserves more cause fuck is it sad.

200/100

Yo Girl

This one is just so much fun. And we get to see Chandler shine again.

‘Martha Dumptruck took a belly flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night holding a suicide note.’ Veronica horrified: ‘Oh my god is she dead?’ Mythic bitch Heather: ‘Just some broken bones! Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably’

I love Heather so much.

And Veronica sees just how much this whole situation has snowballed. She feels so bad and regrets so much.

‘You’ve earned that red scrunchie, come join Heather in hell’ have me chills.

And of course, this sets us up for another JD song…

90/100

Meant to be Yours

I think you already know what I’m going to say about this one… VERONICA open the- open the door please-

I’m getting ahead of myself…

This is when we truly get to see JD become just absolutely unhinged. He goes a little crazy… and it’s amazing, I love it.

JD has slowly descended into madness. I think he loved having control for once in his life. Having the power to control the narrative of other people’s life for, what he thinks to be for the better.

He truly believes that killing everyone in the high school will make things better. And he wants Veronica by his side to do it ‘Bring marshmallows we’ll make s’more, we can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!’

Because their love is god. Their love can change the world. And maybe it could have in another life if they’d taken very different paths. If he’d become the lawyer he teased Veronica she’d marry someday.

But that’s not what happened.

Instead JD wants to take out all the pain he’s felt and tried to keep numb for so long. And he’s going to take it out on the people that hurt Veronica and made her feel excluded for so long.

He thinks he found the cure for the both of them, what will make them both better. And he’s desperate to have her by his side once more, ‘They made you blind messed up your mind but I can set you free’ ‘Finish what we begun’ ‘I am all that you need’.

And the best… ‘You carved open my heart! Can’t just leave me to bleed- VERONICA! Open the, open the door’ … ‘Veronica, sure, you’re scared I’ve been there I can set you free! Veronica don’t make me come in there. I’m gonna count to three! One, two- Fuck it!’

And then… he thinks Veronica, the only person he can trust, the only thing that’s right about this broken world, the person that he needs to go through with his plan… is dead. And it fully shatters him.

He needed her for the plan, but now that she’s gone, he’ll still pull through.

500/100

Dead Girl Walking (Reprise)

Veronica knows that she may be in a way responsible for JD becoming unhinged. But she’s going to make things right.

But, even as she faces him down and tells him to stop… she still loves him. She doesn’t know how this night will end. But she knows that she doesn��t want a tragic ending. She wants a soft story… but that’s not what she gets…

‘I wish your mom had been a little stronger. I wish she stayed around a little longer. I wish your dad were good, I wish grownups understood. I wish we met before they convinced you life is war. I wish you’d come with me!’

But JD has made his choice, ‘I wish I had more TNT.’

And to me ‘I wish we’d met before they convinced you life is war’ is the most painful line in this song… maybe in my top 5 lines of the entire musical. To me this line is kind of like, Our what if will always haunt me.

Because truly, what would have happened then? Would they have gotten their soft epilogue? We’ll never know.

300/100

I Am Damaged

Veronica said she chose JD in Seventeen. Here… JD choses Veronica. To make sure that she is safe.

He realizes that his ideas were wrong. That they’re both damaged… that’s he’s far too damaged. But he can see that Veronica isn’t. That she could still have a soft life… a happy ending. Even if he isn’t a part of it.

So he tells her to step back, to let him try and correct at least a little of what he did.

‘Hope you miss me, wish you’d kiss me’ … ‘And once I disappear, clean up the mess down here!’

And while he sings we hear Veronica pleading in the background, ‘Not this way.’ She doesn’t want to lose him. Even after everything.

250/100

Seventeen (Reprise)

Veronica is done. She has watched enough pain and suffering at the hands of stupid ideologies. She puts her foot down. Listen to me, we are done. We’ll lay our weapons down. Because at the end of the day all of us are scared and freaks in one way or the other.

And what’s important is they stick together with the people that matter.

When Martha asks her ‘Are there any happy endings?’

Veronica doesn’t know. But she does know that right now, she just wants to be Martha’s friend. To make up for everything. She just wants to be seventeen. She wants to be a teenager.

Maybe that will be enough for now.

And then… ‘If no one loves me now, someday somebody will’ because ouch. Because it’s true. Sometimes we’re alone. But sometimes isn’t forever.

(Has nothing to do with anything but I headcannon that McNamara joins Martha and Veronica and they form their own little trio cause that line ^ is all them)

Because at the end of the day, they’re teenagers. They still have time to find love. To love and to be loved. ‘Still time to make things right. One day, we’ll change the world, but let’s kick back tonight!’

‘Act like we’re all still kids, cause this could be our final chance!’

Seventeen (Reprise) is about… we still have time. So let’s make the most of it. Let’s let go, have fun. Let’s change for the better.

Let’s make things beautiful once more.

500/100

Ooooooffff hope you liked that cause this was a lot… but it was a lot of fun!

#heathers #heathers musical #Heathers songs #heather chandler #heather duke #heather mcnamara #veronica sawyer #jd #jason dean #martha dunnstock #ram sweeney #kurt kelly #musical #musical theatre #Musical songs #Too long posts

[justanotherblonde23]

I Want You - A Din Djarin Story

Author’s Note: Hey there, internet friends. So I had an ask from my friend @hdlynnslibrary that I can’ find to save my life. Luckily, I wrote it down! “Hi Kat! My darling! I must admit to feeling #horny okay? Soooo what about a prompt for my fav space man Din? Like maybe with an #inexperienced reader?” Oh Heather, my love, ask and you shall receive! What started out as a little somethin became 14 pages, double spaced, 12 point Times New Roman font. So my darling, I hope you enjoy this Din x reader fic, it was made with LOTS of love <3

Warnings: SMUT, there is definately sexy times going on over here, all aboard the horny train, leaving the station as we speak. Choo-fuckin-choo! Also, language because I am me and since I was born and raised in Boston and I have been swearing like a goddamn sailor since, well, ever lol. Oh, and there’s a slight breeding kink, just an FYI. I’m sorry, it just all came out and I couldn’t help it and Din Djarin wants his clan to expand, okay? 

Thank you to all who read, like, comment, reblog, etc. It warms my heart that you all are enjoying my work. Please let me know what you think of this one :-)

You had been traveling with Din on the Razor Crest for the past year or so. He found you on Arvala-7, working alongside Kuiil. You were good with your hands, fast with a blaster, and most importantly, you connected with the Child. From the second that kid saw you, he decided that you were his. He was the largest reason that you were here right now. How anyone could resist those big eyes, his floppy ears, and that cute baby smile. He turned your heart to putty. 

Your days were spent mostly on the Crest, keeping an eye on the little one and tending to the ship the best you could. The baby required a fair bit of effort, but you didn’t mind; he had become like your own child without you even realizing it. 

Somewhere along the way, you had become closer with the Mandalorian that you traveled with. Clipped sentences became more extended conversations as you gently urged him out of his shell. Soon, he became curious about you, asking all sorts of unimportant questions, ranging from where you grew up to what your favorite color was. Dinners alone with the kid turned into Mando joining you, lifting his helmet ever so slightly so that he could take a sip of the broth you made or a bite of the ration pack you heated up. Every time he did this, you made sure to keep your eyes on your plate, never wanting to disrespect his Creed in any way. 

As the months progressed, your feelings for one stoic Mandalorian grew. You caught yourself lingering in the cockpit more when after you put the little one down at night. You also caught yourself staring on more than one occasion, and you knew for a fact that Mando saw you, too. How could you not stare at that imposing figure that you shared a home with? The duality of the man was awe-inspiring, to be sure. He was a fearsome warrior, and you had witnessed his prowess first hand many a time. He brought bounties in nonstop, always jetting off to the next one before the last quarry had been frozen away in carbonite for a day. And then there was the gentleness that he had with the baby. You could tell that this was his first time taking care of another person by himself. Sometimes he was a bit rough around the edges, but he did try his best. He was learning how to be the best parent he could for the kid, and watching that play out warmed your heart. 

Often times, when he took the kid up to the cockpit so that you could use the refresher and wash the day away, you could hear him up there talking to the kid gently. Sometimes he speaks in Basic; other times, he speaks in what you assume is Mando’a. Every once in a while, you hear him sing the baby a lullaby on those restless nights where nothing seems to calm that sweet baby down. The first time you heard him sing softly to the kid, you knew that you loved him. 

You never felt right acting on your feelings; you didn’t know how he thought about you. Also, you were terrified of making a fool of yourself. Truth be told, you have never been in a man’s bed before. The life of a refugee of the Empire didn’t leave much time for amorous encounters. By the time you found Kuiil, all you wanted was to keep your head down and do your work. If you happened to meet someone along the way, fantastic, but you had more pressing matters to attend to, like surviving in the desert. 

That all changed one night when you least expected it. Mando had taken the kid to soothe him and put him to sleep, so you took the opportunity to use the fresher. You had been working hard that day, repairing areas of the Crest that needed maintenance while juggling an inquisitive little one. You took your time, relishing the way that the water felt against your bare skin, the warmth seeping into your muscles and soothing your bones. You wouldn’t tell anyone, but you viewed water as a gift from the Maker itself. For the first time in your life, you didn’t have to scrounge and save every last drop. You’d never had the luxury of using actual water the bathe daily; you’d never been in the financial position to have such a thing. For the Galaxy working class, a sonic was the best you could hope for most of the time. It cleansed the body of dirt and grime just fine, but it wasn’t pleasant like water was. 

In all honesty, your idea of a luxuriously long shower was well under ten minutes, but it was a dream come true for you. After you were clean and smelling of the fresh soap that you used, it was time for you to get out. You grabbed the small towel, drying your body, and then reached for your clothes. Your hands floundered around a bit until you realized that you had inadvertently forgotten to bring a new pair of clothes or your sleep shirt in with you. You had been in too much of a rush to hand off the baby and get just a few moments to yourself. 

You groaned at your flightiness. Kriff, that only left you with two options: you could either put your dirty clothes back on, or you could try to make your way back to your sleeping quarters wrapped in this tiny ass towel. Neither option particularly appealed to you, but your desire for cleanliness finally won out. 

You gathered up your belongings and quietly opened the refresher door, careful not to be too loud. It usually took a bit of time to calm the baby down enough for him to go to sleep, and you didn’t want to interrupt that process. The lights in the hold were dimmed, leaving you with the ability only to see a few steps in front of you. 

Unfortunately, your quest to be stealthy was in vain. You had forgotten that you had moved a particular toolbox during your work project this morning. Said toolbox ended up being placed right where you could smack your little toe on it. You yelped in pain, dropping everything in your arms in favor of hopping up and down on one foot and clutching the other in your hands. This caused the towel to also fall to the ground, leaving you bare. A noise drew your attention up, and your eyes met a helmet, staring right back. Mando was standing right in front of you, apparently drawn by the noise. 

You dropped your foot, standing up straight, eyes wide in shock. You didn’t move; you barely breathed. Your mind was short-circuiting, and you didn’t even have the sense to pick up your towel off the ground. Your body was overflowing with embarrassment, horror, and- was that arousal? Stars, you were standing here, completely bare, across from the Mandalorian who has every inch of himself covered. 

Ever so slowly, he reached down and grabbed the towel you had dropped, carefully wrapping it back around you. His hand accidentally brushed your breast, causing you to suck in a breath of surprise. He murmured his apologies, beginning to withdraw his hands, but you were faster. You reached out, stilling his retreating hands and placing them back on your body. You wanted this, you wanted him, and you wanted to make sure that he knew it. 

He tilted his helmet curiously, waiting for you to give him a prompt. He took in your labored breathing, your increased heart rate, the way you bit your lip. Your eyes met his visor, and he could barely even see your eye color because your pupils were so blown with lust and desire. He groaned a deep, low sound in his chest at your obvious reaction to his presence. 

“What do you want, sweet girl?” he ground out, trying to keep himself in check. 

You moved your hands, gently cradling his helmet where his cheeks would be, breathing in his scent swirling so close to you. You could smell the blaster residue, the leather, the metal of his beskar, the soap you both used in the shower, and that smell that was uniquely his. You’d never get tired of it, not in this life or the next. 

“I want you,” was your reply. “Touch me, Mando, please.”

“Din,” came his reply, almost in a whisper, as if it was something sacred. 

You frowned, your nose scrunched up in confusion. You studied this helmet, eyes searching for answers. 

“My name, it’s Din. Din Djarin.”

Your mouth dropped open in shock, eyes wide with confusion. You knew the sacredness of a name in this Galaxy. Stars, you hadn’t even told him your own name for a solid three months. The only reason he had found out was because he overheard you talking to the kid one day. A name was even more sacred to a Mandalorian. It was precious, something to be guarded with the utmost care. You’d never even wagered that he’d give it to you, ever. 

“You can use it, but with just me and the kid around. No one else gets to know it, no one but you.” 

You nodded, understanding just how much it had taken for him to tell you. His name was a gift, something that you would keep close and cherish. 

“Din,” you spoke the Mandalorian’s name for the first time, testing it on your tongue, relishing the taste of it in your mouth. It was a good name, a solid name, a name fitting for the warrior before you. “Din Djarin, a beautiful name.” 

Hearing his name in your mouth set Din’s soul on fire. The way you spoke it, the way you had considered it and acknowledged the importance of what he had just given you, it made him want to hear it again and again. He wanted to listen to you moan his name in ecstasy, begging him for more, begging him for pleasure. He wanted to hear you yell it, mutter it, say it in everyday conversation. He wanted to hear his name drip from your lips for the rest of his life. 

That night was the first time he took you and gave you pleasure. You had come on his tongue and fingers three times before you were strung out and exhausted. You fell asleep in his bunk wrapped tightly in his arms. That was two months ago. 

You still had yet to take him fully, to allow him to be inside of you. You had admitted that you were nervous, that you had no experience to work off of. Din had been nothing but patient and kind, never pressuring you into anything that you weren’t comfortable with. He had told you that, “We have all the time in the world, sweet girl. There’s no need to rush.” You believed him wholeheartedly, but in the past weeks, you had found yourself wanting more. Sure, you were still frightened, you didn’t know what you were doing, but that burn and ache inside of you kept getting more intense as the days went by. You know that Din would take care of you. 

It’s been a rough day, and that’s an understatement. You helped with the bounty this time because the information you were given indicated that this quarry was heavily guarded. Mando couldn’t say no to an extra blaster covering his ass. Thankfully, this mission was on Tatooine, meaning that you could leave the little one with Peli. Maker knows that woman loves your little green bean; how could she not? Green bean loves her right back and seems to be particularly fond of the pit droids. You think it has something to do with the fact that he can bonk their noses to make them spring to life, but you can’t be sure. 

Unfortunately, it turns out that this asshole was much more protected than you had been led to believe. You would have some choice words for Greef Karga to pass along to whoever had commissioned this kriffing bounty. You both had more or less emerged unscathed, but there would most certainly be bruises covering you two from head to toe. 

Once the bounty was frozen away in carbonite, you could breathe a little better. He wouldn’t be giving you any trouble now. When Peli saw that state you were in, she insisted that she keep the little one for the night, which was a relief. As much as you loved that sweet little boy, you needed a breather. Hopefully, you’d be able to spend some much needed time with just you and your Mandalorian. 

You found yourself on Din’s lap with a blindfold covering your eyes so he could kiss you. You would rather not see anything at all and have his lips on yours than have your sight with his helmet on. You both were in your underclothes, your legs straddling him. 

That’s when the kisses began. There was something about kissing Din Djarin that was otherworldly. The way he poured all his love and care into a kiss never ceases to blow you away. He always started so gently, building you up and setting you on fire. How could anything be that good, that pleasurable? He licked into your mouth, moaning at your taste. Your Mandalorian loved to kiss you. He nipped at your bottom lip, causing you to gasp, pleasure shooting straight down to your core. 

He moved his kisses to your jaw and down the column of your neck, leaving bruising in his wake. Din whispered in your ear, telling you how beautiful you were, how good you tasted, how you were just for him. The thought that you were his, that this fearsome warrior had opened himself up enough to let you in, it urged you forward. 

You began to rock back and forth on his thigh, chasing that feeling of bliss. He stopped you for a moment, helping you wiggle out of your panties, before urging you to start once more. This felt even better, your slick dripping out onto his thigh, helping you create beautiful friction. By the sounds he was making, Din was enjoying it, too. The feeling of his muscles hard beneath you, your clit rubbing deliciously against him, was heavenly. You could feel the sparks in your tummy, the clench of your cunt around nothing; you were so close. 

Din urged you on, his hands at your hips, moving you. He muttered about how gorgeous you were as you took your pleasure on his thigh, how he wanted to see you cum on him, how he wanted to taste your sweet pussy after you came. His words were what finally did you in, the dam bursting and your orgasm hitting you full force. Your hips began to stutter, but your Mandalorian kept you moving, riding the waves of pleasure, extending your bliss. Finally, your whines led him to stop; you were far too sensitive to continue. You panted, trying to catch your breath. 

As you sat there, your head on Din’s shoulder, centering yourself once more, you realized what exactly was pressing against your thigh. You could feel his rock hard, dripping cock, just within reach. The thought of it made your pussy clench and your mouth water. You wanted Din Djarin, all of him, in every way possible. You wanted to feel him inside of you, wrecking you and making you see stars. 

“Din,” you murmured, “I want you.” 

He nuzzled his nose into your hair, breathing you in. “You have me, Mesh’la, any way you want me.”

You sat up straight on his lap, facing him. If you didn’t have a blindfold on, you’re sure you’d be looking him directly in the eye. “No, I want you. I want you inside of me; I want your cock, Din.” 

Your Mandalorian groaned at your admission. There was nothing he wanted more. He took in the earnest expression on your face, looking for any sign of hesitance or anxiety. He never wanted you to feel pressured into doing anything that you didn’t want to do. He didn’t want you to feel as if you needed to do something to please him. He wanted you to explore sex at your own pace, never another’s. 

“Cyare, are you sure? There is no rush for us. My satisfaction comes from the fact that I can satisfy you and that you trust me enough to allow me to be the first to touch you in this way. There is no timetable besides your wants, needs, and desires, mesh’la. I don’t want you to pressure yourself.” 

You smiled at his words, his voice so soft and sweet for you. He was always so considerate, never rushing you or telling you that you were going too slowly. The kindness and care this great warrior continuously showed you reminded you of this complicated man’s duality. You felt safe with him, and you wanted all of him. 

“Din, baby, no, I don’t feel pressured. I’ve been thinking about it for weeks now. I want to feel you inside of me; I want you to make love to me, please.” 

He cradled your face in his palms for a moment, his thumbs gliding over your cheeks. Then, he kissed you. It wasn’t a gentle kiss; it was full of passion, sinking you deeper into arousal. He kissed you like you were the only thing in the world that he loved, and maybe he did. Perhaps you and the kid were his whole heart. His tongue expertly explored your mouth, causing you to mewl and moan. He knew just what would get you going. 

He pulled away, sucking in precious oxygen as you did the same. Carefully, he turned the both of you around and laid you down on his cot. It wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the galaxy, not by a long shot. It was designed more for efficiency than comfort. The thing was, though, you didn’t care. It was Din’s, and he was willing to share it with you. You could feel him hovering over you, his breath warm against your face. 

“Let me taste you, sweet girl. Let me get you ready to take my cock.”

You gasped, feeling his cock rock back and forth, covering himself in your slick. You were at a loss for words, so many sensations happening all at once. All you could manage was a nod, and a whimpered, “Please, Din.” 

Your Mandalorian kissed his way down your body, leaving behind bite marks and bruises where he wanted to cause heightened sensations. Before he even made it to your pussy, you were already painfully wet for him. You could feel his breath ghosting over the place where you wanted him the most. You lifted your hips in an attempt to spur him on, but all it got you was a muscular arm forcing your hips back down to the cot. 

“Patience, cyar’ika, I want you to feel every ounce of pleasure that I can wring out of you. Enjoy the moment, feel the suspense, don’t simply rush to the finish line, little one.” 

You yelped as you felt him bite into the juncture of your hip and thigh, sucking in hard to leave a mark. He soothed the skin with his tongue, so close to where you needed him, but not close enough. He repeated the process on the other side, marking you in a place only the two of you would ever see, like a secret that you both would share. 

Unexpectedly, his tongue licked a broad stripe from the bottom of your slit to your clit. You sighed; that was the feeling you so desperately wanted. He lapped at your cunt like a man starved, and you were the best thing on the menu. He knew how to work you into a frenzy, and quickly, he played your body like an instrument that he had been practicing on for a lifetime. You quaked and shook as your second orgasm of the night took hold, bursting and pulling you ever forward into the bliss you so desperately craved. 

Even after you had ridden out your orgasm, Din didn’t stop. He worked you over, inserting one finger and then another inside of you, hitting that one spot inside you that made you see stars over and over. His mouth never stopped, his tongue lazily drawing loose circles around your clit, never slowing down, but keeping a steady pace. Your hips fought to lift off the cot, simultaneously fighting and chasing that feeling of ecstasy. When he scissored his fingers inside of you and twisted his wrist just so, you lost it once more. A scream that sounded something like his name tore out of your throat as the stars exploded behind your eyes. 

You felt like you were floating in space, freely and without a care in the world. You reached a new height of pleasure that you’d never even imagined before. You could touch the sky and would never ever come down. You thought every encounter with your Mandalorian was pure rapture, but this was beyond anything you had ever felt before. You were panting, gasping for the oxygen your body so desperately needed, and you felt better than you ever had before. As your head left the clouds, you realized you had a dopey smile on your face, and your lover was covering you with kisses everywhere he could reach. 

Vaguely, you heard his whispers in the dark. You were so good for me, mesh’la. You looked so beautiful cumming on my fingers and tongue. You taste divine, starshine. Those words went straight to your heart and to your pussy, flooding you with more arousal than you had ever thought possible. A deep kiss on your lips finally brought you back to the present, the warm body on top of you centering your mind. 

“Are you ready for my cock, sweet girl? Do you still want to feel me inside of you? I promise I’ll go slow.”

You nodded in response, your words failing you. 

“I need to hear you say it, cyare. I need to hear you tell me that you want this, that you’re sure.” 

Your head lolled a bit as you processed his words, still feeling slightly hazy. 

“Din Djarin, I want you inside of me. Please, please, I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything before.”

He chuckled at your pleas, a smile pressed into the crook of your neck. 

“I’ll be most delighted to give you what you want, sweet girl. Whatever you want, it’s yours. Are you ready for me?”

You breathed out a yes as you felt him coat himself in your slick, making sure he could ease into you. You knew he was quite large. You had curiously wondered aloud one day if all men were built like that. Even though his size intimidated you, you wanted everything he could give you. The excitement fizzled in your belly; you were getting wetter by the second. 

Ever so slowly, your Mandalorian lined himself up with you and began to press in. You gasped at the feeling of just the head of his cock inside of you, the blunt tip spearing into you. He paused before he began to move again. Slowly, inch by inch, he pressed himself into you, stopping ever so often to make sure that you had time to adjust to him. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as the girls in your hometown had made it seem. Maybe they hadn’t been with the proper lovers, or perhaps the boys they were sleeping with were just inexperienced and too young. All you knew was that there was a pinch of pain, yes, but the pleasure outweighed any discomfort you may have felt. 

You could feel every delicious inch of him inside you, splitting you open and filling you up like nothing ever had before. You could feel every ridge and vein as he inched his way into you. You couldn’t even put a name to this feeling, but you wanted more. Eventually, he was fully seated inside of you; your hips flush against his own. You felt so full, stuffed to the brim, and Maker, you loved it. He waited for a minute or two, allowing you to adjust to him and have a chance to take in all these new sensations. You had thought his fingers were terrific, but they were nothing compared to the feel of his cock deep inside of you. 

He kissed you. It was all teeth, tongue, and lips, and stars; it was perfect. He devoured your mouth, taking what was his. You couldn’t help the little sounds that sprung up from your throat when he did that. He answered you with guttural groans of his own. You could feel the way those sounds made his chest rumble; you could feel it in your chest pressed against him. 

He grabbed your leg, propping it up on his hip, and he began to move. He never went too fast for you or too hard, keeping a steady pace that kept you comfortable but still dragged you forward to a fourth orgasm. You didn’t even know you had it in you until Din used two of his fingers to assault your clit, encouraging that bundle of nerves to give you one more burst of pleasure. The combination of his cock deep inside you and his fingers on your clit was enough to send you toppling over the edge once more. This orgasm was more intense than the others, blazing white-hot through your veins and setting your soul on fire. If you thought you had been screaming before, you were mistaken. You writhed and squirmed under your lover, your pleasure causing your body to shake like a leaf. You sobbed his name over and over, tears spilling out of your eyes from sheer ecstasy. 

Your Mandalorian groaned deeply at the feel of your pussy clamping down on him like a vice. You were so tight, to begin with, and your orgasm grabbed him and shoved him into his orgasm. As he emptied himself deep within you, he couldn’t help but mumble praises. “Oh Mesh’la, you’re so tight for me, so beautiful laid bare just for me. You’re such a good girl, a sweet girl, my girl. I’ll give you whatever you want, baby. Adventure, new experiences, my love- fuck if you want it, I’ll give you warriors, children of our own.” 

You both laid there for a while afterward, basking in the glow of post-sex haze. You carded your fingers through his curls, gently scratching his scalp as he pressed sweet kisses into your skin. He was still inside you; neither of you could bear the thought of being parted just yet. You could stay like this forever, caught in this in-between time, not yet floating back into reality. 

“I would like that,” you murmured, never stopping your movements in his hair. 

“Like what, cyare?” 

“For you to give me warriors of our own, Din.”

You could feel him twitch inside you, clearly interested. His head shot up, studying yours closely, looking for any falsehood or hesitance in your blindfolded face. 

“You mean it?” He breathed out. 

You grinned, feeling around for his face. You traced his sharp jawline, the proud cure of his nose, the pout of his plump lips. This was the face of the man you loved, the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Wherever he was in the Galaxy, that was home. 

“Yes, my love, I mean it. We have our little green bean, and eventually, he’s going to need some friends to play with. We wouldn’t want him to be lonely. And besides, there’s no one I’d rather raise warriors with than you.”

You heard a faint sniffle before his lips were on yours once more. You had a family, but there was always room to add more to this clan of three. 

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#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x y/n #the mandalorian x fem!reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin x y/n #din djarin x female reader #the madalorian fic #din djarin fic #star wars fic #requested #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal character fic

[it-was-summer]

Video Killed The Radio Star - Chapter 2 (Spencer Reid x Reader)

A/N: I’ve gotten so much positive feedback and a lot of people seem to like so I am so happy to share another chapter with you all! In this chapter I will put Asterisks  (***) before anything that might seem triggering to some viewers just to give you all a heads up! I would also like to add that virginity is a concept made by man and if you are/aren’t one that is valid as hell!- much love, Em❤️

Warnings: torture, blood, cursing, distributing individual / content, sex talk, sensitive material ahead.

Plot: The team works to find you before the situation escalates, you spend time in a less fiery version of hell.

Word Count: 2.2k

“This girl made my job easier,” Garcia was logging into your computer with a smile “, It was never difficult, but now I get to skip a few tiny steps.” She was searching through your emails, looking for any messages that could have been from your stalker, there was nothing so far. So she moved to your phone records, unknown calls, texts, anything that could help.

She did find one call from an unknown number that had left a voicemail a few minutes before two in the morning on the night of your abduction, but the only thing that she could get from it was the sounds of sobs before the line goes dead.

The rest of the team was combing your apartment in Richmond. The most impressive thing about this whole case was how you knew something was going to happen and the evidence you left behind for them. Sticky notes decorated your desk, labeling everything from your passwords to the gifts your stalker had left you. Another thing that shocked the team was seeing photos of almost all of them, you didn’t get one of Garcia, with little sticky notes next to them.

The sticky notes contained little comments like “Fine as hell,” that one was for Reid, Morgan teased him about it before he looked at his own picture that had the note of “Arms?? Yes?”

It seemed like you had a sense of humor that you didn’t let on in your videos. It made Prentiss laugh, but as soon as she did her eyes looked down at the carpet, seeing a single rose petal near your nightstand. Instead of being red like all of the others, it was the pale color of pink. “It looks like the Unsub is in love with her,” she bent down to pick up the petal with a glove “, or whatever their demented version of love is.”

Reid was focusing on the books, you had a tiny library growing at your house filled with classics, some fiction, others nonfiction. He took note that you already had copies of the Brontë sister collection in your library, and they looked slightly worn down. He couldn’t help but wonder why the Unsub would give you books you already owned. Was it just for their notes? Why couldn’t they use the copies you already own?

Hotch tore Spencer away from his thoughts “The bed was neatly made and there are no signs of struggle, indicating that our Unsub probably made the bed and had time to clean up.”

“Or that she was too afraid to sleep, either way, they probably drugged her and got her out of here as fast as they could,” Prentiss added as she searched the bed for any other evidence.

Reid hummed as he watched Prentiss flip pillows over “It could have been someone she knew, a friend maybe?”

“We can’t rule out anything.” Hotch said as he looked at his wrist for the time “Ried, go with Morgan to the library. Prentiss and I will visit the family.”

                                                      ***

March 6, 20XX

The night of your abduction you were sitting on your couch, holding one of the decorative pillows close to your chest as you watched the black screen of your television. You felt numb, after you recorded your video you broke down. It started off as crying and then slowly developed into a panic attack, but now you were on your couch trying to think about anything but this horrible situation. You glanced over at the time seeing it was nearing two in the morning, you had already called your mother. She told you to come home and you said you would in the morning.

You couldn’t think about her right now, you started to cry, finding it surprising that you still had enough water in your body to cry again. Sobs escaped your mouth, then something pricked your neck and the world was gone.

When you woke up it all felt so soft. You felt like you were laying on the softest bed ever created, your eyes fought against you, opening slowly in fluttering moments. The room was illuminated in a wondrous pink light, you smiled in your drugged state before it all registered. You suddenly felt hot, on fire, everything was on fire. You attempted to sit up on the bed, slipping back down with a yell, red rose petals flying up around you as you collided with the bed. You carefully sat up, looking down at the bed, if you hadn’t just been kidnapped you would think was romantic.

You tried to pull your legs up to your chest, but you screamed out in pain. Your eyes darted around the bed, in a terrified attempt to stay calm as you looked down at your leg. Bile found its way into your throat, burning in your esophagus as you looked down at your snapped ankle. You vomited off the side of the bed, your body shaking vigorously.

“Catherine,”  A terribly sweet female voice spoke, “ My sweet Catherine, you’re awake.”

You coughed lightly before spitting the rest of the vomit out of your mouth, turning your head to look towards the sound of the voice seeing a familiar and beautiful brunette woman smiling over at you. “My name isn’t Catherine,”

“Yes, it is. You’re Catherine Earnshaw, Jane Eyre,” she walked closer, her hair swaying to and fro gently “ Hell, You’re Emma Woodhouse and I am,”

“Crazy, you’re fucking crazy!” you screamed.

“I’m Heathcliff! I am Mr. Rochester! I am Mr. Knightley!” She screamed back at you, her happy demeanor changing in a second, rage decorating her face for a simple second before she let out a calming sigh and smiled once again. “I’m sorry, my sweet, I didn’t mean to scream at you like that. I love you.”

Tears were streaming down your face as you nodded, slowly “You love me,” too afraid to speak out against her again, you nodded through your tears.

She sat on the edge of the bed, that you were slowly realizing was indeed heart-shaped. She reached her hand out, you flinched feeling it land on your head, her hand petting your hair gently.

March 8, 20XX

Morgan was smiling a considerate smile across the table at one of your coworkers, Noelle. She was a pretty blonde, had a sweet smile. The only thing they got out of her was that you were single, her eyes stayed on Reid when she said that, and that you were nice to everyone. Baked for people on their birthdays, or days they were struggling, you were… you are considerate.

Reid hated to admit that the nicest people always seemed to capture the attention of the most dangerous people. Unwanted, cruel, attention.

Spencer excused himself, stepping away to take a look around the vast library. There was a small cafe in the corner of the library, it was possible that the unsub first met you here, checking out a book or something of that kind. He went back to Noelle, “Would you say that Y/N had admirers?”

“Not really, but there was something in December,” she let out a soft sound as she gathered her memories “,this woman came in, beautiful, said she knew Y/N from college or something. It was a weekend so she wasn’t working, but uh she was nice, wanted to buy Y/N a Christmas gift, and asked what she would like. Y/N likes roses, she likes romantic stuff so that’s what I told her.”

Morgan’s eyes widen, holding back his comments as he thanked Noelle for her time before turning back to Reid “A Woman?”

Spencer nodded, trying to make connections in his head. The books and the roses made sense, why the blood-soaked panties?  The roses because of what Noelle said, Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre were classic romance books. He had read them both, but he wanted to see your new copies of the books, your annotated versions.

As for the blood-soaked pair of panties, his mind went to one thing, innocence. Assuming that you weren’t a virgin anymore the blood covering them would mean that your innocence was already taken from you. The unsub might’ve given them to you to remind you what you’d lost or to make the threat that you should have stayed a virgin, that you should’ve stayed innocent. However, despite your so-called ‘ruin’, it seems that she still loves you, hence the gifts.

Spencer assumed that the unsub thought that the two of you were connected through romance, maybe even a taboo type of romance. The romanticism of Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre made that fairly obvious to him, as well as the rest of the team. Red roses symbolized romance, while the pink rose symbolized admiration and grace, indicating that your relationship with the unsub could have been anything but new.

“Can we get a map of all of the florists in the area?”

                                                            ***

You pressed your face into the cushions, it was a weekday and she had yet to come in. Heather, after a day or two you finally remembered who she was, Heather Alexander, she lived on your floor your freshman year of college. She was quiet, sweet, and, apparently, crazy. In college, she seemed less glamorous, wore glasses, had quirky hair, complete with a babyface. You used to invite her over whenever you would bake something sweet, till one day she was gone. Dropped out.

Now, almost seven years later, she seemed so broken. Living in a delusion, thinking that she was some hero or romantic interest of yours. The two of you were destined to be together, well that is until you live out the fate of Catherine Earnshaw and die.

You found it painful to cry at this point, you were so dehydrated and tired that you didn’t even try to force the tears out. It wasn’t that you were too tired to fight, well that was to be debated, you still had plenty of fight left in you. You were playing it safe, the thing that was holding you back from fighting was your mother. You couldn’t bring yourself to put yourself in danger, you needed to hold on to her, you needed to see her again and you knew she needed to see you again. So, you did what you thought was best, for now, lie in bed and feel numb.

It wasn’t that hard to feel numb, given that Heather had you hooked up to a morphine drip. You learned that whenever she was mad at you she would call you Emma, sometimes Jane, but for the most part you were Catherine. When you were Catherine,  she would give you all the morphine you wanted for your broken ankle and when you were Emma or Jane she would ween you off till she saw fit. So if you were Catherine, you would feel numb, feel okay at least for now.

You were staring up at the ceiling, feeling especially stoic, when you heard keys jingle at the door. It opened, showing a glimpse of a regularly lighted room, fluorescent as ever, before leaving you and Heather in this disgustingly pink room. “Catherine,” she threw her keys off towards the counter in the corner of the room. You were too drugged up to think about an escape plan, too drugged up to do anything but stare up at the ceiling. It felt so desperately good to be numb, you barely noticed when she touched you, but as soon as you did her touch felt like fire. “Catherine,” she leaned in close, her lips meeting yours in a second. Heather kissed you with her eyes closed, you always kept your eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling waiting for her harassment to be over. You never kissed back and she didn’t seem to mind so long as she was enjoying herself.

Heather pulled away with a childlike grin “Did you enjoy yourself today? I wish I could have stayed with you, but duty called!” Your eyes traveled down to the name on her uniform, it was the name of a floral shop near your work, the roses.

Your speech was slow and slurred, causing Heather to reach over to the morphine drip, fixing it so you would get lower levels of the drug, but that wouldn’t start working for a couple of hours. Heather seemed to know that so she simply got up, walked away, grabbed her keys, and went towards the door “You can answer in a few hours. Till then, my Catherine.”

                                                           ***

Prentiss watched your mother as she played with her hands, her mouth trembling as she spoke “Y/N called me when it all started,” she looked up, her eyes shifting between Prentiss and Hotch “I should have listened, oh I should have listened!”

“Mrs. L/N, you didn’t know this would happen. You can’t blame yourself here.” Prentiss offered comfort towards your mother only for her to let out a heartbreaking wail of pain.

“She’s all I have.”

Hotch and Prentiss were walking down the porch steps with a tin of chocolate chip cookies, a habit of her’s that you had picked up on. Prentiss looked over at Hotch, whose eyes betrayed him, she didn’t say anything about the look in his eyes. She knew that he probably didn’t want her to ask. She blew out a sigh as they got into the car

“Need a cookie?”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer x you #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #Spencer cm #Spencer Reid cm #cm spoilers #cm #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid x y/n #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #video killed the radio star #mgg #matthew gray gubler #warningsigns #x reader #femreader

[ljblueteak]

Throwing my hat into the “Why did Paul and Jane break up?” ring. There have been fantastic posts on this already, but looking at the McCartney bios by Sounes and Salewicz back-to-back has given me a slightly different perspective (this could all need to be tossed out if anything else about them comes to light/there’s other material I’m not aware of, which is more than possible, but here’s what I’ve got for now!) 

The short version: I think they split up because of a lack of long-term compatibility that they both recognized as they got older. They also grew to prefer different lifestyles and possibly also had different ideas about whether/when to start trying to have children. By the time they split up, Paul had already realized, according to the joint interview with Jane described in Hunter Davies’ 1968 bio, that it was “silly” of him to have expected Jane to do what the other Beatles’ partners had done and give up her career after marriage (Paul describing his expectation as having been “silly” is in Davies 308-309. The observation that all the other women who had “married in to the band” had given up their careers because that was “expected by men of [the Beatles’ background]” is in Sounes 189). Jane having a career she wanted to continue after marriage seems to have been resolved as a possible impediment before the split. The Salewicz bio suggests that what *may* have been a factor was the question of children, with Jane not wanting them to interfere with her career. However, it’s not clear from that bio when this question came up for them--whether it was closer to the time of the split or whether it had been discussed and resolved prior to their engagement. I think these are the main reasons they split. I don’t think his many, many, many affairs helped at all, but I think the above reasons are the main ones.

Jane and Paul got together when they were quite young (Jane was 17 and Paul was 20) and their interests diverged in a few ways that really mattered as they got older. As the bios have suggested, Jane wasn’t really into rock ‘n’roll and really wasn’t into the drug scene. Paul was into both (understatement!). This likely contributed to the tension that people like Marianne Faithful witnessed between them. In addition to that, they both seemed to realize that they didn’t ultimately “click.” For bio excerpts and more, please see below!

In terms of not actually “clicking,”which would be enough reason to end a relationship on its own, imo, here’s what Jane Asher had to say (sourced from the amazing @thecoleopterawithana via @amoralto: 

“No, it wasn’t love at first sight on my side. It was several months before I felt at all certain. And of course, I was young. Only seventeen. Inevitably, one changes. After all, Paul himself was only twenty when we met.

“I knew in my bones that the break must inevitably come a long time before it actually happened. Although we had this emotional thing for each other, we found it difficult to be really happy together....”

Jane Asher, interview w/ Godfrey Winn for The Australian Women’s Weekly: Girl with a broken love affair. (April 23rd, 1969)

And here’s Paul in Many Years From Now: 

“During that period with Jane Asher I learned a lot and she introduced me to a lot of things, but I think inevitably when I moved to Cavendish Avenue, I realized that she and I weren’t really going to be the thing we’d always thought we might be. Once or twice we talked about getting married, and plans were afoot but I don’t know, something really made me nervous about the whole thing. It just never settled with me, and as that’s very important for me, things must feel comfortable for me, I think it’s a pretty good gauge if you’re lucky enough. You’re not always lucky enough, but if you can feel comfortable then there’s something very special about that feeling. I hadn’t quite managed to be able to get it with Jane....She was a very intelligent and interesting person, but I just never clicked. One of those indefinable things about love is some people you click with and some people who you should maybe click with, you don’t” (264, 452-453). 

In addition to their own words, there are differing takes from observers about Paul and Jane’s compatibility and reasons for the split. Artists like Jann Howarth, who along with Peter Blake made the Sergeant Pepper art and had known the Beatles for “four years” before that observes in the Sounes bio that:

“I thought [Paul and Jane] were adorable together. She was wonderful. She was a very calm person and, in the middle of all this, you felt she was a wonderful balance for him, and you felt she was his equal for sure. It didn’t feel to me as though Paul was the big deal and she was trembling along behind, whereas you felt that a bit with Pattie Boyd and some of the other gals. I mean Cynthia was left standing still, basically, by John. Whereas you felt Jane was an absolute equal to Paul and had a very supple mind” (131). 

Howarth sees them as “adorable” together and says that Jane’s “Paul’s equal for sure” and doesn’t suggest that this is a source of tension in any way.

Marianne Faithful, who frequently visited Cavendish with Mick Jagger, seems to imply in her autobiography that a major cause for the tensions she observed between Paul and Jane were related to Jane’s career aspirations and that Paul had wanted “an old-fashioned Liverpool wife,” which is what he got with Linda. However, I think it’s worth noting that while there had been tensions about Jane’s career, as detailed in the Davies bio (though Paul had also been really excited about and supportive of Jane’s career), Paul had already recognized that he had been being “silly.” Of course, there may have been continuing tensions related to it, but it sounds like Paul realized he’d been wrong on the whole. In addition to that, Marianne and Mick were part of the rock ‘n’ roll drug crowd Jane disapproved of, so these tensions between Paul and Jane that Faithfull observed may very well also have been related to Jane not being thrilled about more drug-using rock ‘n’rollers taking over her house.  

Here’s the bit from Marianne Faithfull’s book via The Guardian:

Visits to Paul and Jane Asher weren't quite as relaxed. They were a bit uptight, and there were constant little frictions, but that's what happens when couples start to come apart. In any case, I was in a very different position from the one that Jane found herself in. I'd done what Paul wanted Jane to do, and given up my career. I wasn't going on tour with the Old Vic; I wasn't taking any more movie roles and very few parts in plays. Jane was a serious actress and wanted to continue her career, but Paul had other ideas. That's why Linda was so perfect for Paul; she was just what he wanted, an old-fashioned Liverpool wife who was devoted to her husband. Whatever we thought of Linda - and she didn't make that great an impression on me - I think it was a credit to Paul that he didn't marry a model. Because that's what all the others have ended up doing, they've married these models. And they have children who also become models.

The Guardian, 6 October 2007.

In his bio of Paul (which doesn’t directly address Faithfull’s comments), Sounes doesn’t suggest that the perception that Paul would be happy to be with someone who was prepared to let their own career take the backseat, at least for a time, is wrong (I do think it’s important to mention that in addition to her Wings career and solo/with Paul songwriting work, Linda also did work that didn’t involve Paul’s career at all down the line, like working on her cookbooks and frozen food line). But Sounes does say that it was much more than that that drew Paul and Linda together:

“Anything Paul wanted to do seemed possible with Linda, or Lin as he called her affectionately. She had bucket-loads of American confidence, which he liked. Both were relaxed and open about sex...Lin dug rock ‘n’ roll in a way Jane never had and unlike Jane, this American girl wasn’t uptight about drugs. Although a modern, liberated woman in some ways, Lin wasn’t a committed careerist. She was already tired of scratching a living as a rock ‘n’roll photographer, more than ready to settle down with a man who could look after her and Heather” Fab (215). 

Paul was also ready to start a family. Indeed, John Lennon suggested that part of what drew Paul to Linda was the “ready-made family.” In the same interview where John pointed out that Linda could provide a “ready-made family,” he claimed that Jane was not ready for children: “If Jane was to have a career, then that’s not a cozy family, is it?” Chris Salewicz’s Paul bio also addresses this, saying:

“A source of considerable contention between Paul and Jane--perhaps the cause of those adverse remarks about the theatre to Joe Orton--was her insistence that having children would interfere with her acting career. Yet, now that Paul had everything he could possibly ever want, all that remained to fulfill his life was the presence of children, something he had always desired far more than the other Beatles” (199).

While we (or at least I!) don’t know whether Paul and Jane had discussed the issue of children before they got engaged, disagreements over whether or when to have kids contribute to a fair number of breakups to this day--and they had plenty of good reasons, from just not “clicking” in the right way to disagreements over drugs, to break up anyway. 

#Paul McCartney #Jane Asher #Linda McCartney #Paul and Jane #Paul and Linda #long post #really really really long post #and I have thoughts about Linda being a traditional Liverpool wife too #but that was already too long #I just edited to mention all the cheating #and could have talked about it more #but I really don't think it was a primary factor #down to discuss though!

[preciouspeterbparker]

i wish i were

inspired by conan gray’s “heather”

warnings: stepsibling incest (not yet but that’s the whole premise), underage masturbation, underage sex, angst. peter’s like 16 and a half, Tony’s almost 18

word count: 2.2k

summary: peter’s in love with his big brother. no biggie. (spoiler alert: it’s a big deal)

(A/N: okay this has been living in my head rent free for over a month. i've written more, but it's not fully fleshed out yet. 

i figured i would post this and see if anyone is interested in reading it before i put a bunch more effort in lmao. this is filth. most of the angst comes later lololol (and more filth).

i hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think / if you'd like to read more!

- bloo)

PART ONE

Peter stands at his locker, desperately trying to blend in and remain unseen as he switches out his English textbook for Physics. The school year is basically over, given that it’s the last week of May but he’s still not comfortable in the junior-senior hallway. He’s always been the youngest (and therefore smallest) kid in most of his classes, given that he’s been in the ‘gifted & talented’ track since middle school. (He’s on track to graduate next year, taking his last few mandatory classes and completing an internship for additional credit.) This year, Peter feels even smaller than usual; maybe because most of the seniors are already eighteen, while as a sophomore, he isn’t even seventeen. He doesn��t have many friends this year, because of it. Ned moved away last summer because his dad got a new job, and, well, he’d never really needed more than Ned before. 

“Hey Pete-squeak,” comes a voice from behind, making him jump. Rolling his eyes, Peter pivots slightly to face the newcomer. The infestation of butterflies that he's been harboring for the past few months begins to flutter immediately, tickling the walls of his stomach as his cheeks flush lightly.

The voice belongs to a tall (or, well, taller than Peter, anyway), ridiculously handsome boy with dark hair and dark eyes, walking towards Peter with his hands in his pockets. The cheeky smirk on his face is all but permanent, but the small, genuine smile it slips into is something that Peter holds close to his chest, something that is typically reserved for him.  

Tony, his older brother, is pretty much Peter's favorite person in the world. Technically, he’s Peter’s step brother. Maria, his mom, and Peter’s dad Richard got married when Peter was a year old and Tony was almost three. They’d essentially spent their whole lives together; neither of them could really remember anything before. They’ve always been close, but that’s changed a little bit this year.

“Hey Tony,” Peter chirps, reaching back into his locker to grab his physics binder. He tries to act natural, even though he feels anything but. His heart’s going a mile a minute inside his rib cage. He feels a little ridiculous, he has for the past few months. Swallowing, he manages to sound relatively calm. “You read the last 2 chapters of Beowulf, right? Mrs. Herrera gave us a pop quiz last period.” 

The older teen groans. Closing his eyes, he throws his head back, a metallic thunk sounding as it collides with the locker he’s leaning back on. “Fucking hell. The final paper is due in like four fucking days! Is that not enough?” It’s quiet for a moment as Tony pauses before he opens one eye, cutting it to look at Peter. “What were the answers?” 

Peter snorts in response, shutting his locker. “Not happening, T.”  He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time and lets the left side of his body rest against the cool metal. Three minutes til the bell rings, and Mr. Riley’s class is right across the hall. So he’s essentially got three minutes to indulge himself and the fuzzy warmth that’s running through his veins. He loves any time he gets to spend with Tony. “You’re lucky I told you at all, be grateful.” 

Tony wrinkles his nose at him. “Rude,” he scoffs in mock offense. “I know you can remember them,” comes his teasing accusation. (And he’s right. Peter can recall the entirety of the quiz, but he’s still not going to enable Tony.) Then he pauses and raises an eyebrow at his younger brother. “Is that my sweatshirt?” The garment in question is a worn and slightly faded black Led Zeppelin USA 1977 crewneck sweatshirt. Peter’s wearing it over a charcoal and white check button-up. The sweatshirt is one of Tony’s favorite pieces of clothing, he wears it all the time (hence why Peter...borrowed it...without asking).

Having mentally prepared himself to be questioned at some point, Peter’s reply is already on the tip of his tongue. “Yeah, it ended up in my laundry and once I put it on it was too cozy to take off. And it looks good with these jeans and the button-up. And my boots. Trying out a new look,” he finishes, smiling as he pushes his glasses further up his nose. Tony often teased him about the thick, clear-but-slightly-pink frames, but Peter hadn’t wanted glasses at all (he doesn’t need any more reasons to be teased, thank you), but he likes these. They make him look cute, more feminine. More like someone Tony could want. 

“You’re right,” Tony smiles. One of his hands comes up to playfully ruffle at Peter’s russet hair. “Looks great on you, kid.” There’s warm affection in his voice. 

Peter feels his cheeks go hot again, and he wills the flush to go away. He can’t take compliments from Tony, now- they make him ache and preen simultaneously. He knows that Tony doesn’t mean it the way he wants. Peter knows that Tony would never speak to him again if he knew what was really going on inside his little brother’s head. The thought makes him sick to his stomach. 

Speaking of stomachs. “Hey,” he starts as he fingers through the papers in his physics binder, attempting to find the problem set that’s due today. “Did you ever catch up on Hell’s Kitchen? I’ve been rewatching episodes trying to wait for you, but you’re taking too long. You saw the episode where Gordon-” Peter’s heart falls to his stomach and he abruptly stops speaking when he looks up to notice that Tony isn’t looking at him anymore, barely seems to be listening. 

It falls completely out of his ass when he sees just what, just who, has stolen his attention. 

“Sorry, Pete, gotta go,” Tony mutters once he realizes that Peter’s stopped talking, shooting him a hasty smile and shoving off the navy metal. He skirts past Peter, a slight skip in his step as he makes his way down the hallway. 

Peter's swallows and clenches his jaw as he watches his brother walk straight to her, the bane of his existence. The reason he and Tony don’t spend as much time together anymore. The object of Tony’s affections. Pepper. She's...everything Peter wishes he could be, honestly. Tall, somehow a perfect mix of skinny & curvy, bright blue eyes, long strawberry-blonde hair. She's perfect. And not only in looks; she's also ridiculously smart. If Tony wasn’t valedictorian, she surely would be. She even volunteers at the local soup kitchen every weekend, and Peter’s pretty sure she reads to dogs at the animal shelter once a month. He hates that Pepper is so nice; he hates that he can't hate her without hating himself for it. 

As if he didn't have enough self-loathing already.

***

Peter exits the bathroom that connects his bedroom with Tony’s after gently flicking the lock on his brother’s door to disengage it, the soft ‘snick’ ridiculously loud in the quiet of the house. He’s the only one home; Mom and Dad are at some sort of event for Dad’s law firm, and Tony went to a party at Rhodey’s house. (Tony had insisted that Peter was invited, but he had to know that the younger would never go- why would he want to be surrounded by drunk, horny, belligerent teenagers? The last thing he wanted to see was Tony and- )

There’s a dark gray towel loosely wrapped around his waist, so loose he has to clutch it in his hand to keep it from falling. He closes his own bathroom door behind him and drops the towel, digging through his underwear drawer to pull out a random pair of plaid boxers. 

After sliding them on, the brunette takes a deep breath and lays back against the pillows, arms behind his head. He tries to consciously relax his muscles, the tension of the day not having melted away during his shower like he had hoped. Time for Plan B. It’s never let him down before. Peter reaches for his phone and unlocks it before swiping through his apps to open Spotify. The sound of “Dazed and Confused” fills the air through his speakers, and he sets it to repeat on a loop. It’s a little fucked up, the way he’s conditioned himself to respond to this song, but- Peter knows the whole thing is fucked up; he’s fucked up. 

Closing his eyes, he does the only thing he’s been capable of for months: he thinks of his older brother. 

He’s growing fond of the new facial hair Tony’s trying out; he wonders how it would feel against his skin. Which areas would be the most sensitive to its touch? His thighs? His neck? Peter’s head tilts back and to the side as he imagines wet, warm lips and the scratch of stubble. Just the thought, the phantom sensation, makes a soft mewl leave his mouth. It’s a little ridiculous how easy he can get himself going, when he thinks of Tony’s touch, of his body. Of his love. In his boxers, his cock shifts against his thigh as it begins to fill out. 

The sensual, plucky bassline and wailing guitars of the song drag along, and so does Peter’s breathing as he brings a hand up to pinch at one of his nipples. He imagines the way Tony would tease him until he was whining, begging for release. He supposes it wouldn’t be dissimilar to his older brother’s typical manner of playfully taunting him. Maybe Tony would pin him down like he did when they were younger, climb on top of him and hold him there with the muscles he’s gained from boxing in the garage. The opportunities he’s had to see the older teen breathing heavy, shirtless and glistening with sweat, would be forever ingrained in his mind. The mental image sends more blood rushing south and his dick throbs as it quickly reaches full hardness, drawing a gasp from his mouth. 

Peter takes himself in hand, studying the details of his cock. He knows he’s not huge, but he’s at least on the larger side of average. It’s flushed a deep, mauve-y pink, and he traces the line of a vein on the side with the tip of his pinkie. A shiver shoots down his spine. He wonders how similar it is to Tony’s. Is he circumcised like Peter is? Is he bigger? Longer, thicker even? Sure, he’s seen him naked before, when they were younger changing or in the bath, but that stopped around the time Tony was seven or eight. 

(Tony and Peter had come home from school one day, and Peter’s head had been reeling over what he heard some older girls saying on the bus. He’d decided to ask Tony about it. His big brother knew everything. ...Mom & Dad caught them kissing in their bedroom. That was the end of bathing together, and Tony got his own room, too. Peter never forgot about the way his big brother’s lips felt against his own.) 

A bead of precum oozes out of his tip and Peter rubs his thumb over it, smearing the liquid over his cockhead. Robert Plant’s voice moans over the speaker and Peter echoes the sound as he slowly strokes himself with a loose grip, his hole tightening around nothing. Biting his lip, he hesitates before slipping his left pointer finger into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it sloppily. Once it’s wet, he reaches down and gently presses the pad of his finger against the tightly furled muscle between his cheeks. His breath hitches as the sensation; he’s only touched himself down here a couple of times before. 

The tip of his finger begins to breach his opening and a whine leaves Peter’s mouth. It stings a bit so he tries to relax, muscles fluttering, making a mental note to grab some lube next time he goes to the drugstore. He wants to be able to stretch himself out more, to imagine Tony’s fingers, Tony’s cock, splitting him open and stuffing him full. Fuck-

Tightening his grip on the base of his cock, Peter grits his teeth and grunts softly as he pulls his finger from his ass. He can’t cum yet- he’s not done. He reaches under his pillow, pulling out the balled-up t-shirt that’s taken up residence there. The black fabric has faded in some spots, and the Black Sabbath logo is cracked and worn; it’s one of Tony’s favorite shirts. Peter brings the soft cloth up to his nose, fumbling with it to find the area with the strongest smell. There are hints of Tony’s Old Spice deodorant mixed with a scent that’s distinctly Tony, a warm, masculine musk that has saliva pooling in Peter’s mouth. Delirious, fucking his hand to the beat, he wishes he had dug a little further in the hamper, pulled out a pair of Tony’s briefs. 

That’s the thought that does him in. Peter cums into his fist, gasping his brother’s name, the sound getting muddled in the maelstrom of guitar and drums. Thick ropes of jizz splatter on his stomach and chest, entire abdomen heaving with his breaths. 

He wipes the mess up with Tony’s t-shirt before tucking the fabric back under his pillow for safe keeping.

to be continued???

#starker #starkercest #peter parker x tony stark #peter x tony #bloo writes bad things (tm)

[aevyk-ing]

My HTTYD3 Script Notes

-First of all, thanks to whoever posted the original transcript in the HTTYD wiki and all the people in the httyd criticism and httyd salt tag for their constructive criticism. Also, this contents some MILD SPOILERS.

-This movie is like the others, this movie has to start with narration and a view of Berk.

-Forget that “they’re useless without their dragons nonsense”. We’ve seen them fight together in the second movie.

-Hiccup being an “okay” chief. He’s struggling a lot but he’s doing his best. Also, he’s not afraid of asking for help to the Chieftess-to-be.

-Everybody’s arc has changed. Hiccup wants to be a good chief while getting rid of the Dragon Hunters and coming to terms with the new Night Fury and what that means for his relationship with Toothless. Astrid wants to help him, of course, but it’s also inmersed in her General duties and getting ready to be a Chieftess. Fishlegs is thinking about his future, Ruffnut doesn’t want to decide between two guys and she’s trying to find herself, Snotlout is not sure about anything anymore and Tuffnut wants to honor his friendship with Chicken in an unique way.

-Of course Hiccup is tired of fighting. And Grimmel is just another Hunter. He’s not special (even though he thinks so).

-Narrowed the Dragon Hunters to three. And changed the name because Warlord means something way different to me.

-Tuffnut and Snotlout having “bro time”. Hiccup and Fishlegs spending time together, Ruffnut and Astrid actually having a conversation (yes, it starts being about guys, but that’s the problem inherited from the last movie).

-Hiccup and Fishlegs discovering the other Night Fury together as a nod of the first book. They’re best friends.

-She’s a Night Fury. She’s slightly bigger than Toothless, with pointier “horns” in her forehead and longer and pointier nubs. She also has lots of scars.

-Valka being afraid of being in a society again. I took the idea of “feral Valka” from Tumblr (if you ever talked about this, consider yourself tagged and thank you) and made it a little less extreme. She feels nervous when there’s a lot of people around and she has problems for getting along with Hiccup.

-Hiccup’s nightmare is how the ending of The Hidden World clashed with lifelong fans. The Berkians would be crying their eyes out. That wasn’t a happy ending.

-Yes, neutral pronouns is more 2020 than 2019, but if it’s difficult to tell some males from female dragons, this should be the case with Night Furies too.

-Since Hiccup was with Fishlegs when they discovered the other Night Fury, he’s going to scout the area with Astrid and her tracking dragon.

-Yes, Eret is here just for exposition, but that’s what you get when you add new characters to an already established group of friends.

-You can’t have a dragon without a name. “Evenfall” means “dusk”.

-Toothless would never accept an automatic tail.

-In this world, having an inherently bad dragon species is all kinds of wrong. The Deathgrippers are just being used by a bad person.

-Astrid is the one who saves Hiccup, not Valka. Also, they use their nicknames.

-The Hunters armada is supposed to be huge. Maybe they can fight it alone with all the dragons they brought to New Berk, but since there’s no New Berk in this version, they need some allies. And who better than some old friends?

-No, I don’t like Hiccup having a beard.

-I’ve never liked the fact of Fishlegs nor Snotlout ending with Ruffnut. Fishlegs is too soft and naive for Ruffnut’s strong personality (as seen in an episode of the series) and Snotlout has a strong personality too, so they would clash a lot. I like Fishlegs ending with Heather because they make a good couple and truly care about each other.

-Even though Minden is sort of mentioned (I liked her with Snotlout) their ending is up to the reader. Personally, I think they tried but didn’t work and Snotlout then realized he’s bi (I’ll dig deeper on this headcanon in the Drago version of the script).

-Also, Snotlout drinking “respect women juice”.

-Yes, the A-Team is here too. This may look as fanservice, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

-Everybody fighting together as the badass they are.

-Grimmel had to be gone forever. They needed to know it was over.

-Sorry for the other death, but HTTYD is about bitersweet endings and that was supposed to be a big battle.

-Astrid’s parents looking like her.

-Hiccup needed to acknowledge that the war was over, but also that they’ll always protect dragons.

-The wedding wasn’t a big part of the story, but the finale. And no flower crowns and Astrid is wearing a mighty braid.

-Night Furies. The thing we were promised since Riders of Berk.

-And since this is a tale of friendship, there has to be a happy ending.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30176451

#httyd3 #httyd #httyd the hidden world #the hidden world #ao3 #fanfic #archive of our own #fanfiction #hiccup #toothless #astrid #snotlout #fishlegs #ruffnut #tuffnut #eret #valka #riders of berk #defenders of berk #race to the edge #httyd criticism

[chloelucia13]

Chapter 17: The Flayed

Pairing: Jonathan Byers x Henderson!reader

Prompt:  You always thought Hawkins was the most boring town of all, stuck in a vacuum void of excitement and entertainment. Well, it seems that way until the world decided to flip upside down, literally.

Chapter Summary: After what had occurred the night before, everyone was on edge. However, when everyone is grouped back together to combat this monster that was once thought to be gone, things take a dark turn.

Warnings: more angst bc what else do you expect from me, the tiniest bit of fluff if you squint, language, violence, gore, descriptions of possession

Word Count: 2441

A/N: We're getting close to the end of season 3!!! I've got a lot of ideas planned for the finale, and I've also been thinking about maybe posting some filler drabbles for the story while we wait for season 4! Let me hear your opinions and head canons, and as always, my taglists and requests are open!

Tags: @just-my-fandom​ @nightbu-g​

The cold concrete of the warehouse made your skin sting, nipping at the exposed flesh despite the nearly-impermeable humidity that blanketed the air. 

You couldn’t force yourself to move, staring idly at the mind flayer that laid just feet from you as you thought of what occurred between you and Jonathan earlier in the night.

You knew it was wrong, it was stupid and impulsive and damaging. And it wasn’t you. If you were in your right mind, you never would’ve even gotten close to kissing him. You would’ve never betrayed Nancy.

Maybe it was a good thing that the creature took over when it did. If it didn’t, you truly couldn’t imagine what else would have taken place. 

The creature lifted its head slightly as you thought of it, reminiscent of a dog that heard the crinkling of a wrapper. A mutant, rotting dog that made you nauseous whenever you looked at it. But now, staring at it was the only thing that kept you grounded, keeping you in the horrifying reality that you were unfortunately living in.

It was moments like these, your mind caught in a loop of morbid curiosity, that you wished you had El’s powers. The ability to look into people’s lives without anyone else being aware of it. You just wanted, for a moment, to check on Jonathan and make sure he was okay. Though, you couldn’t decide if you wanted to stay away to keep him safe or if you wanted to keep yourself safe.

As the creature settled back onto the ground, you let out a huff and silently cursed yourself for getting into this situation (well, whatever this situation was).

***

“Are you positive?” Nancy questioned, everyone eyeing Jonathan worriedly. 

After coming to the conclusion that Billy’s surge of power was linked with what Nancy saw happen to Mrs. Driscoll that same night, Jonathan had realized that what happened with you also fell into that same time period and also sounded extremely similar. He debated bringing it up at all, but knowing that this put so many people at risk, he spoke about it. 

He explained to everyone what happened with you last night (minus the kiss, for obvious reasons), claiming that you seemed normal until you just... weren’t. He also noted the black veins that were present on Billy and Mrs. Driscoll as well, another thing that held many similarities to Will’s case last year.

“Yes, I’m positive,” Jonathan responded, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Did she feel cold?” Mike asked, his brows furrowing.

Jonathan froze for a moment, panicking at the question’s possible insinuation. He thought back to the night before, feeling your lips against his and the gentle touch of your fingers on the back of his neck. He didn’t remember you feeling cold, but at the same time, he wasn’t really focused on the temperature of your skin when it was pressed on his.

He shook his head and shrugged. “I-I don’t know. Like I said, she seemed normal. And she was wearing a sweater and jeans, too.”

This made Max look at his confusedly. “Why would she be wearing a sweater and jeans in the middle of summer?” she pondered. “Especially if she’s one of the flayed, she’d want to stay as cool as possible.”

Nancy gnawed on her bottom lip as she thought. “She knows how we got the mind flayer out of Will,” Nancy began. “Do you think... She’s trying to sweat it out?”

Again, Jonathan shrugged. “Whatever it is, we need to find her and get this thing out of her. Out of all of them.”

***

The search for you, Billy, and Heather had led the group to the Holloway house. After walking through the hallway and into the kitchen, they stumbled upon a slew of cleaning products and other chemicals scattered along the surfaces, the containers crushed as if they were emptied hastily.

As everyone discussed the possibility of the flayed consuming these chemicals to make a new substance within themselves, Jonathan’s mind once again wandered back to the previous night. There was no way that the same Y/N who ate ice cream with him less than 24 hours ago had also ingested copious amounts of cleaning products. It just didn’t make sense to him.

He didn’t have much time to think about it, though, as Nancy led the group through the dining room and into the living room. She glanced at the wine bottle that was discarded on the floor before kneeling down in front of a puddle of a red substance. “Blood,” she whispered, glancing over at Jonathan when he knelt beside her. “Yesterday, Tom had a bandage on his forehead.”

As Jonathan watched Nancy slowly pick up the blood-stained wine bottle, he was struggling to wrap his mind around the fact that you hurt someone, or at least assisted someone in doing so. 

“He was attacked,” Nancy continued. Nancy began to walk, following the trail of drag marks and disturbed rugs that led to the garage where a pile of rope laid. “They must have tied them. They must have taken them somewhere.” Nancy stood silently, thinking for a moment. Mrs. Driscoll, she kept saying ‘I have to go back.’ What if the flaying, it’s taking place somewhere else. There must be a place where this all started, right? A source.”

“Somewhere he didn’t want me to see,” El added.

“If we can find the source, then maybe we can stop them. Or at least stop it from spreading, or whatever the hell they’re doing with those chemicals.”

“How do we find it?”

“Mrs. Driscoll,” Will spoke. “If she wants to go back so badly, why don’t we let her?”

“Okay, but this doesn’t make sense,” Jonathan argued, unable to pull his eyes from the rope that laid at his feet. “Y/N wouldn’t be able to hurt someone, let alone tie them up and drag them god-knows-where.”

“Jonathan, this isn’t Y/N,” Nancy argued.

He huffed. “Last night, when she changed, I tried to stop her from leaving because I was worried. I-I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I needed to help her, so I grabbed her arm.” He gulped. “She begged me to let her go. She said that she didn’t want to hurt me.”

A silence fell over the whole group as his words sunk in.

“Maybe she can control herself around you. But around other people, she can’t keep the flayer from taking over,” Nancy spoke finally, reaching out and touching his shoulder. “But you’re her weakness. And that’s gonna help us a lot.”

***

Silently watching Mrs. Driscoll’s body melt and condense into a meaty mush made you want to retch, but your body stood stock still as the lump inched from the room and down into the pipes. Once the mass disappeared from sight, you wandered out of the room, down the hall, and out into the stairwell, aimlessly walking down the stairs to pass time as you waited for whatever task the mind flayer would assign you next.

For once, you wish you were working at the pool, boiling under the scorching July sun. At least you’d have something to do.

Those thoughts left as soon as they came, however, when that strong fog began to flood your mind, your body switching onto autopilot as your feet led you onto the second floor.

A sharp pain stabbed through the right side of your head as you were about to turn the corner, doubling over in pain and clutching your head as you heard quick footsteps coming down the stairs. Immediately, you straightened up and jogged down the hallway, grabbing a pair of scissors from a nurse’s station before rushing into the wing of the hospital that was under construction and slipping into a room.

You heard the heavy footfalls sprint past your door, followed by another flayed that stalked slowly behind them. You stepped out of the room and walked beside him, tightly clutching the pair of scissors in your hand as the lights flickered around you.

The man beside you led you both over to a locked door, two voices echoing through the door. You nodded your head at the door and he slammed his fist through the glass, screams sounding from the two within the room as he peeked his head in before undoing the lock. As he pulled the door open, you stepped inside, a sinister grin on your face.

But that grin immediately fell when you saw who exactly was behind the door.

The man pushed past you, disregarding your clear shock as he threatened Nancy in a sing-song voice. Jonathan, who clearly was also reeling with shock but shoved it down, stepped forward and pulled his fist back, ready to attack the man. the man’s hand shot out and grabbed onto Jonathan’s neck, choking Jonathan and shoving Nancy away with his free hand.

The flayer’s control faded from your mind and you took advantage of it, hurrying over to Nancy and trying to help her up. “Y/N?” she coughed out, her eyes wide with fear. 

“You have to go,” you forced out, using as much strength as you could muster to pull her to her feet while also fighting to keep your consciousness. 

Behind you, you heard a groan of pain coming from Jonathan, and you and Nancy turned to look just in time to see the man slam a metal stool down on Jonathan’s back.

Nancy finally got onto her feet and you threw your scissors to the ground when you felt the flayer’s control slowly start to seep back into you. Through blurry vision, you watched Nancy take the scissors you discarded and embed them into the back of the man. 

You and the man hunched over, and you let out a groan of pain as he pulled the scissors from his back. The man cursed at her, quickly regaining his composure and stalking over to her. 

“Run!” you and Jonathan screamed at her, and you waited until she had led the man out of the room to go run over to Jonathan and help him.

"Jonathan,” you whispered, crouching down next to him and gently resting your hand on his back. “Are you okay?”

He gasped in pain, turning his head to look up at you. “What’s going on? How are you-” he began before you shook your head.

“I don’t know. Come on, let’s get you up.” You pulled the stool over to him and he gripped onto it, lifting his upper half up with all his might.

Moments later, the stool fell from his grip, Tom menacingly grinning down at the two of you. “Where are you going?” he hummed, nudging you to the side so he could pick Jonathan up by his shirt.

“Let him go!” you screeched, stumbling to your feet.

Tom held Jonathan by the collar of his shirt, locking eyes with him before glancing back at you. “Let him go? Sure.” He picked Jonathan up and threw him into the lockers, Jonathan’s body falling to the linoleum floor a moment later. Tom picked him up once more and threw his body into a cart, letting his body crumple to the ground.

You watched in horror as Jonathan crawled along the floor towards the pair of scissors, your whole body exhausted from all the strength it was taking to keep the monster at bay. Tom knelt beside Jonathan and grabbing him by the hair, lifting his face from the ground before slamming it down.

Once Jonathan finally fell unconscious, if only for a few moments, Tom grabbed the scissors and lifted them over his head.

“I’m in control of you! Stop!” you screamed, allowing the creature to take hold, black veins snaking up your face and arms. “Leave him alone.”

Tom turned to you, the scissors still held above his head. Tears streaked down your face as you glanced down at Jonathan, your vision slowly going dark. 

However, before the creature fully took hold, a harsh pain cracked across your face, making you cry out in pain. You clutched your nose and watched Tom stumble away, only for the two of you to be tossed around by another strong force.

Jonathan and Tom both scrambled to their feet, the scissors held tightly in Jonathan’s hand. Jonathan hesitated though, looking down at you on the floor. He had realized that whatever happened to one of the flayed was felt by all of them, and that meant that whatever he did to Tom, you would feel as well. 

“Do it,” you gasped out, rising to your feet with the gracefulness of a newborn fawn. 

“I don��t want to hurt-” Jonathan stuttered.

“Do it!” you screamed.

Tom lunged at him, and Jonathan plunged the scissors into Tom’s throat. Both you and Tom let out a ghastly gasp/moan of pain as you collapsed onto the floor.

As the lights continued to flicker overhead, Jonathan rushed over to you and turned you onto your back, clutching you in his arms.

Your eyes searched his, both of your chests heaving with ragged pants while you both silently communicated to each other.

“You need to go, I can’t control it anymore,” you choked out before rolling out of his arms and crawled over to Tom’s body. The two of you silently watched as Tom’s body began to convulse and turn to that all-too-familiar mush (well, familiar to you, at least). Jonathan let out a gasp of horror, though his eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion when your body didn’t do the same.

He realized then that his theory was right. You were different than all of the other flayers. On one hand, he was relieved because he knew it was truly you. On the other hand, though, it horrified him that it was you who committed all of these horrible acts. That, and the fact that you somehow had control over these creatures truly made his skin crawl.

He realized he didn’t have much time to dwell on it because the strange mush of blood and meat and bones slowly began to inch out of the room the same time that your eyes fluttered closed. He contemplated staying to check on you, but decided against it after a moment, instead following behind the disgusting mass.

A strange sense of calm washed over him when he saw Nancy standing at the other end of the hallway, following her own strange substance. Silently, the two masses led the two teens down the hallway, joining together in the middle and morphing into something even more sinister.

#stranger things #stranger things 3 #Jonathan byers #Jonathan x reader #Nancy wheeler #Nancy x reader #billy hargrove #billy x reader #imagine #st x reader #one shot #series #Steve harrington #mike wheeler #will byers #dustin henderson #max mayfield #eleven #Jane hopper #jim hopper #Joyce byers #Lucas sinclair #robin buckley #heather holloway #henderson!reader #stranger things x reader #stranger things fan fiction #fanfiction #fanfic

[let-it-raines]

I Hope We Never See October (2/?)

When his personal life and football career go up in flames, Killian Jones escapes England for America, finding seclusion in Martha’s Vineyard in order to hide from his demons. It’s a fresh start, or at the very least a paused moment in his life, and all he needs is a few months alone to allow his heart to heal. He doesn’t count on meeting Emma Swan.

Emma’s life depends on tourists who come to the island every summer. It’s how she makes her money working in restaurants and clubs across the vineyard, but every year, she cannot wait until autumn comes and her life returns to normal. She especially cannot wait for Killian Jones to leave.

Rating: Mature

a/n: Thank you guys for reading the first part of this! I cannot say enough how much I appreciate all of you and how glad I am little things like this bring you guys joy! Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for reading over these words. ❤️

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: One | Two 

-/-

“Emma, the couple at table two wants to talk to you, and the woman at table seven has a complaint about the quiche. Something about there being eggs in them.”

Emma groans and closes her laptop to look at Ashley, one of the new waitresses she hired this summer. She’s good, courteous, and she’s always here on time. Emma is going to hate to lose her for a few weeks when she has her baby, but come hell or high water, the girl is getting maternity leave even if Emma can’t manage more than three weeks without the owner getting involved and likely trying to fire all of them. She deserves months more than that, but Emma can’t change the system.

It’s a shit system, especially for moms.

“They don’t want eggs…in their quiche? Are you serious?”

“She’s vegan and claims she’s been misled.”

Emma rolls her eyes and stands from her chair. She pulls her jean shorts down, the frayed edges covering just a little more thigh, and unties the bottom of her button-down. She probably needs to start dressing up more for this job, but she can’t be bothered. She managed to wear her Blue Dog Tavern polo last week, so that seems like enough effort. “We have symbols on the menu to indicate dietary restrictions, but this isn’t really a restaurant for dietary restrictions beyond one or two items. I’ll deal with it. Thanks, Ashley.”

It’s Sunday morning, which is their second busiest time after Friday and Saturday nights, and the Blue Dog is packed. It’s all hands on deck this morning, but Emma was hoping to get some scheduling and produce ordering done in her office during it. But this is a restaurant, so of course there’s never any time for a breather when she needs it the most. She’ll finish all that later, she guesses, because she has a feeling neither of these conversations are going to be a short one.

And she’s right about that. The woman hating on the quiche pitches a fit and demands her money back before threatening to sue the place and, quite frankly, threatening to cut off Emma’s legs, and Emma has to resolve that without losing her cool when all she wants to do is punch jerks like that straight across the jaw. Then the couple at table two asks her to run through every item on the menu and whether or not everything is organically sourced.

They serve fried mac and cheese balls at ten in the morning and have kitschy, slightly tacky artwork nailed onto the darkly stained wood. If you eat outside on the patio, you get a nice view of people taking off a little more than they should while sunbathing on the surrounding beaches and docked boats. There’s also the occasional ferry that drives by and blows a loud horn that tourists seem to get a kick out of. Do they really think everything is organically sourced?

God, sometimes she really hates tourists.

This is a nice place, though. It’s not somewhere you go for fine dining, but their brunch is divine, it’s got a good atmosphere, and the new bartenders she’s hired this summer make better drinks than you can get at any reasonably priced bar in a ten-mile radius. She likes this little part of the island, and even though she hates tourists, they do fund her entire life. So maybe she hates them a little less than usual when the paychecks roll in.

Today is not a day where the paycheck is rolling in.

Emma notices some of the tables are a little slow, so she picks up the slack, getting drinks and refills and checking on meals. It keeps her on her feet for most of the morning and through the lunch rush, but when it’s over, she collapses on a stool at the end of the bar.

“Chip, can you get me a coffee?” she asks without looking up. “I don’t care what milk or creamer you put in it as long as you don’t bring it to me black. Though, I think I need the caffeine so badly that I’d drink it. I don’t know why I agreed to work the late dinner shift at The Oaks last night. I’m exhausted.”

When she doesn’t get a response, she looks up for Chip. He’s nowhere to be seen, and when she checks her phone schedule, she realizes it’s his break time. Of course it is.

“Lass, I don’t believe the barkeep is here anymore.”

“Yeah, it’s his break, but I can help you. What’s your poison?”

“The coffee you’re having.”

Emma nods and turns to look at the man talking to her, and if she wasn’t so tired, she would have recognized the voice a hell of a lot faster than she did. A lot of different accents pass through this place, but he’s the first British one in awhile. Also the first one to show up in her backyard. Or the Fishers’ backyard, technically, but she’s been renting it for long enough for it to feel like her own even if she’s changed very little of the furniture and decorations outside her bedroom.

Killian. She thinks that was his name. Honestly, she’s surprised she remembers anything because she was in such a rush to get to work that she didn’t have time to deal with all the people at her house. But he was unexpected and attractive – she’s not blind to attractive men no matter what Ruby and Mary Margaret think – and he threw her off for a minute. He looked familiar, but she has no idea why. There’s no way she would have met him before.

But she also doesn’t care. She’s got a gut feeling that she needs to watch out for him, that there’s something that’s not right, and him being at her job is proving that to her. What are the odds that he’d wander in a few days after meeting her when she’s pretty sure he’s never been here before?

Then again, maybe that’s why he’s familiar. It’s June. A lot of people come through here, and she’s not going to remember all their faces. Sometimes she does, though, in the back of her mind where vague, slightly blurry memories reside.

“Sure thing,” Emma sighs, standing from the stool. “Do you have a server?”

“Aye. Heather, I believe, but…”

“But she’s on her phone.” Emma shakes her head. “My boss’s niece. Not much I can do about it, but I’ll get you your coffee, a water, and take your order right away.”

He nods, going back to his own phone, and Emma takes that as her cue to get behind the bar and start making some coffee. She doesn’t usually work this machine, so it takes her a minute to get it right all while she feels Killian staring at her.

“Do you need any suggestions on the menu?” Emma asks as the coffee percolates.

“How are the salads?”

“I prefer things with more calories, but they’re good. Our vegetables are fresh, and I personally enjoy the strawberry poppyseed with chicken, but I know not everyone loves fruit in salads.” He hums behind her as his mug fills, and she grabs some milk from the fridge under the sink, turning to show him. “Milk okay?”

“It’s perfect, Swan.” She raises her brows, which he mirrors, until he cocks his head forward and his lips form an obnoxious little smirk. “On the nametag, love.”

“Now, what did I say about being your love?”

“That you’re not.”

“Exactly.” She finishes making his coffee and hands it over. He’s a customer, she reminds herself. She’s got to try to be a little bit nicer than she wants to be. “So, the salad? If you’re looking more toward the healthy options with protein, the grilled chicken breast on its own is fantastic. You get two sides, which you can find at the bottom of the menu.”

He nods and looks at the menu for half a second before looking up. “The salad would be great. Thank you.”

He picks up his mug, pointing it toward her, and Emma takes it as a dismissal so she can put his order in, and hopefully she can get Heather to do her damn job and serve him for the rest of the meal. She doesn’t like that he knows where she lives and works, and even though she doesn’t think Ariel and Eric spend time with shady people, something about him gives her weird vibes.

His face just looks so damn familiar, and usually she’s really good remembering faces. Huh.

And Emma is usually right about these things. He’s likely nothing more than a rich man looking for a break from life by renting out a large house on the island. He’ll spend a week or two, maybe a month depending on his work situation, here, sleep with as many women as he can, and then he’ll go, never thinking of Martha’s Vineyard again. And she’s pretty sure Ariel does something having to do with high-powered people over in London, so he fits the profile. God, she must have seen him before with Ariel or something. That has to be it.

But for now, he’s a customer, and since Heather seems to be completely checked out, Emma guesses she’s going to have to deal with him. After this morning, he won’t be the worst person she has to deal with all day, and since she’s working at The Oaks tonight, she imagines being treated like shit then will outshine all of this.

Why the hell did she decide to pick up so many shifts at The Oaks? It’s a stuffy country club where tips reflecting the price of the meal aren’t even guaranteed, but it’s extra money with a flexible schedule. She’s doing okay on the money front right now, though, and if she were sane, she’d take some time off and relax, maybe enjoy the beach or any of the hundreds of good restaurants around here.

She is obviously not sane.

-/-

“Oh my God,” Emma grumbles as she strips out of her jean shorts, kicking them to the ground before unbuttoning her shirt. “I’m so tired of people.”

“I’m people,” Ruby says. “Nice bra, by the way. The girls look great.”

Emma rolls her eyes, but she does glance down at her boobs and hike them up a bit. They do look great today. “Shut up.” Emma picks up the black dress she has to wear at the country club and slips it over her shoulders. “You know I’m not tired of you.”

“That’s because you’ve barely seen me.”

“Busy. I’m busy. I work way too much. Speaking of that, why the hell aren’t you at work?”

Ruby stands from her couch and grabs her name tag from the end table. “I’m in between shifts. Granny’s in charge downstairs. I have a five-second commute to work, unlike you. Why are you changing here again?”

“Don’t want to run into any of the people at my house.” Emma smooths her dress and turns to Ruby’s mirror to reapply lipstick and put on some mascara. She’s got to wash her hair tomorrow. It’s hanging by on a thread today, if that thread is a little greasy and has a hell of a lot of dry shampoo in it. “But don’t worry, tomorrow, I will be out of your hair as they will soon be out of mine.”

“You know I’m always fine with you being in my business. Mary Margaret and David are coming here for dinner tonight. Any chance you can slip away?”

Emma finishes another coat of mascara. “Can’t. Working until past closing and then heading straight home to sleep in my house of strangers.”

Ruby laughs, carefree as always, and for a moment, the jealousy stings. Ruby has plenty of her own shit going on, but she always handles it with such ease. She’s the most carefree person Emma has ever met, and Emma can’t imagine living like that without way too much alcohol in her system.

“I told you that you could stay with me this week. Have I ever said it’s batshit crazy that they come to visit and are okay with you still staying there? Because that is batshit crazy.”

Emma shrugs and pulls back to take in her appearance. This is as good as it’s going to get. She doesn’t think she’ll be using her looks to get her any tips tonight, which is a crying shame since that’s half the reason she took this job in the first place. She knows exactly how to charm some of the older men into giving her more money by flirting a little, and she’s not ashamed that she has to give away her dignity to do it. She had to hire a dinner-shift manager at the Blue Dog because she was doing the work of two people with the pay of one. Now she’s doing the work of five people with the pay and of one and half people, so obviously she’s winning at life.

“I’m never there, and they seem like good people. I think they’re just glad I actually maintain the place and am slowly but surely getting through some of the renovations.” Emma looks at her hair again and ties it up in a ponytail with the elastic from her wrist. “Any way you can make me a grilled cheese to go?”

“Only if you agree to go to a bar with all of us sometime in the next month.”

“Yeah, fine. Whatever you want.”

God, she hopes Ruby doesn’t remember this conversation. The last thing she wants to do right now is go out with her friends and then end up sitting alone as they all make out with their partners and leave without telling Emma goodbye.

Actually, the last thing she wants to do is go to work again today, but here she goes.

-/-

Emma quietly turns the key in her front door. She saw that the kitchen light was still on from the street, and while the Fishers likely just forgot to turn it off, she doesn’t want to run the risk of seeing them tonight. It’s their last night here, so she only has to make it through one or two more awkward conversations before she has the house to herself. It’ll be just her and the creaky floors. She can collapse on the couch in her dress instead of having to walk all the way up the stairs and make it to her bedroom like a responsible adult.

In another world, Emma would like to own a house like this. It’s charming. That’s the best way to describe it. It’s two floors, three bedrooms, has bay windows and built-in bookshelves, and the cabinets in the kitchen are a light green. She likes that it’s not cookie cutter white all the way around like some of the nicer houses around here. It has character, and though there are a few things she’d change beyond the needed repairs she does for the Fishers, it’s got good bones. Plus, the location is fantastic, and the backyard is spacious. It allows Emma to spend time in the sun without being stuck on a crowded beach or near a busy dock.

But this is not another world, and Emma could never afford a house this close to the coastline. She’s got no idea why she still lives here. Well, that’s not true, she knows exactly why she still lives here, and it’d be possible for her to pick up and move inland toward Boston. She just…she can’t. She’s been here for ten years after leaving her last foster home in Brockton, and it’s been a comfortable reprieve. She’s got her friends and her job(s), and even though she’s got years of hospitality experience, there’s no guarantee someone like her with a GED can get a job this well-paying and accommodating somewhere else. Plus, her housing is almost free, and she really can’t pass that up.

It all comes back to the house, which she’s dreading going into now no matter how much she wants to collapse onto her bed.

(Or the couch. She really misses the couch. It’s the best for napping.)

Emma steps inside, avoiding the places that make the floor groan, but it’s impossible to dodge them all. She tenses, then hurries across the living room toward the stairs, only turning to the opening to the kitchen at the last minute.

“Holy fuck,” Emma gasps, dropping her purse. It hits the ground in a gentle thud, her keys spilling out and clacking along the floor.

“Didn’t mean to scare you there, Swan.”

Emma’s breath hitches as she realizes who it is sitting at her kitchen table.

Killian…whatever his last name is. She’s got no clue and doesn’t care to ask. What she does want to know is why he’s sitting here alone at two in the morning like a fucking serial killer.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

He takes a sip of his drink, coffee she thinks from the smell, and leans back in the chair, the front legs tipping up with him. “Getting sober so I can drive home. Had two drinks with dinner, and it appears I’ve become a bit of a lightweight.”

“Don’t drink much then? I thought all you Brits liked going to the pub.”

He laughs, smile bright against the black of his stubble despite her poor attempt at his accent. “We do, but not so much me anymore. Trying to cut back.”

“Yeah, I get that.” She leans down to pick up her bag, grabbing her keys and tossing them back in. “I also get that we have Uber here. You might want to try that the next time you have a little too much to drink. You look like a murderer sitting in my kitchen like this.”

“It was two glasses of rum, nothing excessive. Wishing Ariel and Eric well before they leave in the morning.” He leans forward, the chair landing on all four legs, and downs the rest of his mug. “I don’t make a habit of drinking too much.”

“I don’t care what you do in your personal time. Just don’t make a mess in my house…or your friends’ house, I guess. And sleep on the couch if you want. There are blankets in the basket.”

She doesn’t know why she’s offering him the couch. She should be making him leave. Her heart is still leaping out of her chest from him scaring her, and even though this has been her home for years, she technically can’t ask him to leave. In reality, Ariel has probably offered him the couch already.

What a long day.

She wants it to be over.

“That’s surprisingly kind of you.”

Emma’s step falters, and while she was turning away from the man, she decides to turn back and narrow her eyes. What the hell is that supposed to mean? “I guess I’m full of surprises for men who don’t know me.”

“Just who are you then, Swan?” he asks, standing from the chair and putting his mug in the sink, turning the faucet on while never losing eye contact.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Perhaps I would.”

A shiver runs down Emma’s spine, but she ignores it and walks up the stairs. This is a weird week, one she doesn’t want to repeat, and the last thing she needs is to spend too much time with a man who thinks he can charm his way into anything with a few smooth words and a smile. She’s been around enough men like that in her lifetime, but it doesn’t matter with him. Tomorrow, he’ll be gone with Eric and Ariel, and she’ll be back to being able to walk around her house without pants whenever she wants.

Tomorrow, this weird as hell week will be over, and she’ll be back to normal…mostly.

-/-

-/-

Tag list: @qualitycoffeethings @marrtinski @klynn-stormz @scarletslippers @elizabeethan @jrob64 @snowbellewells @therealstartraveller776 @thejollyroger-writer @galadriel26 @galaxyzxstark @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @teamhook @spartanguard @searchingwardrobes @jamif @shireness-says @ultimiflos @onepunintendid @bluewildcatfanatic @superchocovian @killianswannn @carpedzem @captainkillianswanjones @mayquita @mariakov81 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @a-faekindagirl @scientificapricot @xellewoods @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @singersdd @tornadoamy @cluttermind @lfh1226-linda @andiirivera @itsfabianadocarmo @captain-emmajones @ilovemesomekillianjones @taylrsversion​ @dramioneswan​ @jonesfandomfanatic​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​

#I hope we never see october #cs fic #cs ff #cs fanfic #cs fanfiction #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan fanfiction #captain swan

[stydiaeverafter]

Ch2: Hidden Nightmares

Summary: Heather helps Ray through his nightmares but also worries about her own—her future.

Rated: T

Warnings: PTSD from the challenges of Panic

A/N: Thank you for all the kind words! I'm excited to continue this story between Nillhall. As much as I love writing from Ray's POV, I will be switching back and forth as the story goes on. I hope you all enjoy it!

Read on ao3

***

"I'm scared I'm falling in love with you." Heather could not get those words out of her head. They were floating alongside so many feelings that she couldn't ignore, even if she wanted to.

"I'm scared, too." It was the truth. Ray had been right. Since the challenge, everything frightened Heather. Sometimes she didn't know which way was up from down.

After she received the money from the Bagman, Heather was living in a constant state of anxiety. It didn't help that someone had thrown a scarecrow dummy at her car—a warning that Panic wasn't through with her, that she was being watched.

Though, she had been the fool and hadn't told anybody about it. Heather had wanted to wait to see if anything else would happen. Plus, she knew that Ray would freak, and she didn't want him going off the deep end, primarily because of her.

Besides worrying if someone wasn't through with her yet, the money would be stolen. The challenge was just beginning. Heather also thought about the relationship with Ray.

They were in the beginning stages of figuring out what this all meant between them. Heather had joked, saying, "We don't have to fall in love, Ray,"  but she realized soon after that the falling was inevitable.

Heather had been falling in love with him since he finally had opened up to her at the Player's Ball. Even though she had tried to push anything serious from her mind, fate had a different path for her.

Ray brought out a wild, not-so-sheltered side of her. It was fun, exciting, and new. Natalie, before leaving Carp, had warned her for the millionth time, saying men like Ray don't always change. But the problem was that many people didn't actually know the real Ray Hall. They saw what was surface deep—not the man behind the iron mask.

She was taking the time to really get to know Ray after so many years of witnessing the facade.

It had been almost a month since the game and surrounding herself around Ray Hall. Heather tried to keep digging to get to know him, even though they had difficulty keeping their hands off each other. There was a chemistry between them that was electrifying. She knew he felt it, too, as he would often tremble when they kissed.

They had hooked up a few times, still not having sex, and she was grateful he was willing to take it slow after what had happened at Graybill Manor.

However, Heather couldn't stop thinking about that. This part Natalie didn't have to warn her about. It was only the truth that Ray had hooked up with many girls and had since their freshman year. As she replayed Graybill Manor often in her mind, Heather still couldn't figure out why he had gotten so upset. Part of her whispered that it was because what was going on between them had been different for him, special,  and when she had said, "What's the big deal," it had stuck him in the heart. But was that the real reason? Maybe so, now that she knew he was falling for her. But would it last? In her mind, she was sometimes scared she was one of the many on his list, and when he was bored, he'd throw her to the side. However, her heart would beat, saying that was a lie. This man loves you. He'll wait.

Heather had fumbled a lie saying she wasn't a virgin, but the truth was, she very much was. She had wanted to wait for the right person and always thought it would be with Bishop. But they had failed romantically, and that was okay. Sometimes just being best friends was enough.

Being around Ray, her thoughts shifted, and more and more did she want her first time to be with him. But how could she tell him that? Unless he already knew. That man was perceptive.

She looked over at him, sleeping in the sun on his boat as she wrote ideas for her stories that would probably never be published. The way he encouraged her to write was as beautiful as watching the sun touch his face in the light.

His arms were folded, and his eyes were closed in a peaceful way. He looked younger this way, not the troubled adolescent who had been forced to grow up too soon, even though she knew exactly how that felt.

Ray truly was gorgeous, and she resisted the urge to run her fingers down his cheek. Instead, she gripped her pen tightly and continued to write.

Writing gave her purpose. The inner words, too scared to speak, found their escape into the world. Heather wanted so desperately to take her writing a step further. But to do that, college was a must. She had more than enough money, but part of her was scared to use it, and the other part didn't want to leave Lily or Ray. This hadn't been the first time Heather considered taking her sister with her, but could she give her the life she deserved? It sure would be a hell of a lot better than what their mom was giving them. But it was a custody battle she didn't want to play, even though she was 18 now.

That didn't stop Heather from still applying to the University of Austin, the place she always saw herself going. She looked back down at Ray, wondering how he would take the news that she had applied. Heather knew he had changed a lot from the boy before Panic, but would he be willing to do long-distance?

Her thoughts evaporated as Ray started thrashing around, whimpering in his sleep. She closed her notebook and made her way over to him.

"No...don't...don't leave me. Heather..." She froze at his words, wondering if he knew exactly what she had been thinking only seconds before. "No, help. No...."

Heather knew Ray spoke in his sleep, especially with his nightmares—the unfortunate pleasure of having a traumatic past—but this seemed unusual. Worse in numerous ways, especially given how Ray was shaking like a scared child.

"Ray! Ray, wake up." Heather shook his bare arms as he tossed around the small boat. "Ray!"

Finally, his eyes shot open, and he gazed up at her as Heather attempted to block the sun from his eyes.

"Heather?" Ray asked after a moment, sitting up slightly, his body covered in sweat.

"It's me. I'm here," Heather replied, bending down to gently kiss his forehead. "Are you okay? You were having another nightmare."

Instead of answering right away, he just gazed into her eyes as if he were getting lost in something that only he could see. Then all of a sudden, Ray shook his head and ran a hand through his already messy curls. "I'm fine. Sorry to worry you."

"How often are you getting them?"

"Nah," Ray shrugged, "it's not a big deal. Just my fucked up brain." He ran his fingers gently through her hair, a habit that had formed since spending so much time together. "No worries, babe."

"Ray, stop it." Heather gripped his hand tightly, and he froze, "Don't do that! Please don't push me away. It's a big deal to me if it's hurting you." She placed her palm against his warm cheek, and the facade disappeared instantly as Ray closed his beautiful blue eyes.

It still took a lot for Ray to be vulnerable, but he would for her. Sometimes though, it took a bit of convincing. Old habits die hard. She was working on letting someone in as well.   In her past, Heather had to be a closed-off box inside her own comfort zone—being with Ray expanded everything she knew. It was scary but worth it.

"I'm sorry," Ray responded, opening his eyes. "I don't mean to be an asshole, especially not to you. I appreciate that you want to be there for me. Guess I'm still getting used to it, though." Heather nodded with a smile, confirming that she understood the journey and making positive changes. He sighed deeply as he took her hands into his lap. "The dreams?" Heather bit her lip, waiting for when he was ready. "You. Lately, so many of them are about you."

"Me?" He nodded. Heather squeezed his hand, "Can you tell me what this one was about?"

Ray glanced up at her, with a crestfallen expression, "You left me again."

Her heart stopped in her chest—Ray must've known. Heather cleared her throat, "Left you how exactly?"

"It was the fire this time. I could see your lifeless body on the ground as we tried to do CPR. But...it didn't work. Just a reminder that even when I ran in to help you, I was the one who couldn't save you."

Heather gasped and held her breath, "You ran into Graybill?" He nodded with a sad defeated grin. "I had no idea. No one told me. Why didn't you?"

"Explain how I couldn't find you?" Ray shuttered, gripping her hands tightly. "You almost died, Heather; I felt like a failure."

Heather couldn't explain what that meant to her. He had tried to get to her, even if he hadn't found her. Ray had searched for her, even after their argument and him calling what had happened between them a mistake. They weren't a mistake; they never would be.

"It means the world to me that you tried, though. I hope you know that." He didn't answer her, so Heather went back to the dream, remembering to focus on the issue at hand. "But damn, I'm sorry you keep reliving it," she whispered. Heather scooted closer to him in the small space. "It was a close call, but I'm okay."

"I never know which one is worse. They're all fucking horrible." Ray let go over her hands and covered his eyes with a groan, "Last night's dream, you fell off the plank, right through my damn fingers."

"The challenge is over, Ray. We both made it out in one piece." Now was definitely not the time to tell him about the weird dummy being thrown at her car. She really didn't want to send him into a nervous breakdown.

"Maybe that's what Panic does to you, though, screws with your mind even after it's over."

Heather sighed, "But the nightmares are only of me?"

"Yeah, and I fuckin' hate it. I'd rather it be me."

She shook her head rapidly—Heather wouldn't want that...never. "No, don't say that. Listen, I know they're probably terrifying as all hell, but I'm okay. See?"

He nodded but didn't look at her. Heather could tell that Ray was still far away in that mind of his. "Ray, I'm here." Heather took his hands and placed them firmly on her shoulders. "Feel me. I'm not leaving you."

Ray finally peered at her. The look reminded her of the day he told her he was scared he was falling in love with her. "Promise?"

It was a double-edged sword making the promise to Ray. If she got accepted into UT, Heather would be leaving him unless he came with her, which she doubted he would. But she had to do something to alleviate his worries, at least for a little while. "I promise, sweetheart."

His lips were on hers before she realized Ray had moved. "I love it when you call me that."

She smiled at his words spoken against her mouth, feeling a small dose of relief. But as he kissed her softly, Heather felt like she could cry at the desperation behind it. As much as she yearned to leave Carp, she was terrified to say goodbye to Ray Hall—the man she loved.

#nillhall #nillhall fic #heather x ray #heather nill #ray hall #panic fic #panic amazon #panic tv series #post-canon #tw: ptsd #*my fic

[seungmoroll]

Heather | Lee Felix

Word count: 5.3k

Genre: fluff, realization of feelings, friends to lovers, baker Felix, slight angst(?)

A/N: the next part of the Heather series is finally up! you can read the other parts here.

    As you open the door, the sweet smell of pastries fills up your nose. Every time this place reminds you of the precious moments of when you were a child watching your grandmother bake some sweets that you would then have to hide from your mother. Inside, beautiful freshly made sweets are on display for others to enjoy, and as you walk around, making your way to pick out the treats that you needed, you can’t help but be in awe with the craftsmanship that was put into every single dessert. You have to remember to compliment the baker. Speaking of the baker, once you’ve made your way to the front displays by the cash register, his warm smile greets you.

    “Good morning Y/n, beautiful day isn’t it?” Just like his freshly baked goods and the bright sun, his voice brings you a sense of warmth.

    “Morning Felix. It’s a wonderful day today. I’m sure the kids are going to love being outside.” The kids that you mentioned were the kids that you took care of at the daycare you worked at. It wasn’t a big daycare or anything. At most there were 8 kids, but you enjoyed that there wasn’t a lot of kids because you really got to know them. Plus, you don’t think you and your coworker Jeongin could handle any more kids.

    “Oh I bet they will. Wait, that reminds me, let me grab something from the back.” He leaves, leaving you wondering what he could possibly be getting. When he returns, he comes out holding a box and places it on the display counter.

    “Here, this is for you to take.” It was common for Felix to make special treats for the kids. At first you tried to refuse his offers, but he came up with excuses such as saying that he owed Jeongin or that they were just extra. You didn’t believe those excuses though, but it was kind of hard to say no to Felix. Besides, it’s not like the kids were opposed to the treats.

    “Ah, thank you Felix. I’m sure the kids will love it. What’s in here?”

    “Actually, it’s for you. It’s a cheesecake that I made.”

    “Oh? I can’t take this for free, let me pay for this.” You know Felix put all his hard work into everything that he made, and you refused to not pay for it.

    Shaking his head, “No, no. I made it specifically for you, so I’m refusing to take your money, and don’t you dare slip in some extra cash to Nakyung at the cash register.” Dang it, he knew exactly you were planning on doing.

    “Fine, but I have to pay you back somehow.”

    “Another drawing from one of the kids is good enough for me.” Sometimes the kids liked to draw the treats that Felix gave them, and so on day you brought the drawing in to let Felix see and according to Nakyung, he puts them up on the wall in the kitchen.

    “I’ll make sure that they’ll get delivered to you safely the next time I visit.” Felix smiles at your response, but your conversation is interrupted when another customer comes up and asks for help. After realizing that you were going to be late if you stayed here any longer, you head towards the cash register, where Nakyung stood there waiting for you.

    “Hi Y/n, will this be all for you?” She kindly greeted you. You actually knew Nakyung from high school. The two of you weren’t necessarily friends back then, being that you were a part of two different circles, but she was a kind person to everyone.

    “Yes, this is it for me.” Today you grabbed two blueberry muffins and a brownie (Jeongin’s favorite thing at the bakery).  

    “I see that Felix has given you another dessert. Is it for the kids?”

    “No, uh, it’s actually for me, but of course I’m going to share some with the kids.”

    “Oh, I see. I think it’s sweet that he makes you something special.” You could tell from the tone of her voice that there was something that was slightly off, but you didn’t have time to question it because you had to make your way to the daycare. However, you had a feeling you knew what the reason for her tone to be like that. You might have to talk to her about it later though.

    Grabbing your newly bought goods, you make your way towards the exit, but not before you bid Nakyung and Felix a goodbye, “Bye guys, hope you have a good day!”

    When you finally arrive at the daycare, you are met with the sound of gentle music playing and the sight of Jeongin swaying along to the music as he tidies up the play area. Not wanting to interrupt his flow, you lean against the doorway, waiting for him notice your presence. When he finally turns around, he slightly jumps at the sight of you. You chuckle in amusement. Clutching his chest, he asks you, “How long have you been there?”

    Walking up to him, and presenting him his brownie, you say, “Oh not that long, I just wanted to enjoy my view. Here’s your brownie by the way.” Jeongin gladly takes the brownie in your hand and questions the box in your hand.

    “Oh, this? Felix made me a cheesecake.” You miss the way Jeongin cocks his eyebrow at you as you make your way to your office to put your things up. Following you, Jeongin jokingly asks, “Did he now?” You could tell by the tone of Jeongin’s voice that he was trying to instigate something,

    “Whatever ever you’re thinking of, just stop it right now.”

    Feigning innocence, he says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You knew he knew exactly what you were talking about. For some reason, Jeongin thinks that Felix has a crush on you, and you find the idea ridiculous because everyone who goes to the bakery knows the Felix likes Nakyung.

    Shoving your free cheesecake into the mini fridge, “I still don’t get why you think Felix likes me.” When you turn back around, you see Jeongin pointing at the fridge, “Because he gives you things like cheesecake and other sweets for free because he specifically makes them only for you.” Rolling your eyes at his explanation, you push past him and go back towards the front of the daycare to wait for the arrival of the children.

    “He knows I share them with the kids, so he just says that he makes it for me to hide the real fact that it’s for the kids.” From where the two of you stand by the front entrance, you can see the first child making their way to the daycare with their father. Ending the conversation for now, Jeongin says, “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.”

    Later on in the week, you knew you were forgetting something when you left your house this morning. Mentally reprimanding yourself for forgetting your umbrella, you do your best to quickly make your way home. Usually you never stay at the day care so late, but Daisy, a sweet little seven-year-old girl, wasn’t able to be picked up until 6 today because her mother had an important meeting, and of course you and Jeongin didn’t mind staying back. After Daisy was picked up by her mom, you and Jeongin had to put up new decorations for the daycare which took you guys about an hour and a half. Once you were both done decorating, you had deemed yourself too tired to cook yourself dinner that night, so you had gone out and got yourself some Korean chicken. Unfortunately for you, the wait time took forever and by the time you left the restaurant it was already pouring.

    In situations like this, this is why your parents told you to take your car to work, but you didn’t mind the 15-minute walk, except currently you did mind. You thought to yourself that you might’ve looked a bit crazy running in the pouring rain, soaked from head to toe, but at this point, you didn’t care about how you looked, you just wanted to get home. Just as you were about to pass the very familiar bakery, an also very familiar figure comes out the door causing for you to come to an abrupt halt.

    “Y/n? Is that you?” It was Felix. He must’ve been getting ready to close the bakery since it was already almost 9. Quickly dodging the rain by going under the awning, you greet Felix.

    “Oh, hey Felix.” You try your best to act casual, but it’s a bit for you to do since your quivering from the cold.

    “Gosh, you’re drenched. Here come on inside.” Before you could object, Felix is ushering you inside the bakery and you let out a relieved sigh as you feel some sort of warmth. As soon as Felix had walked back in, he immediately went towards the back of the bakery, leaving you to awkwardly stand in the middle of the bakery. A small puddle of water has begun to form on the floor because of you. When Felix returns to the front, he is carrying a towel and what you believe is extra clothing. Silently, he wraps the towel around you and hands you another one for you to use to wipe your face.

    As you pat your face dry, Felix offers the extra clothes to you, “Here go change into these.” Not wanting to be more of a nuisance to him, you kindly reject his offer, “Thank you, but I‘m fine.”

    “Y/n,” he sternly says, “your clothes are soaking wet, if you don’t change out of them soon, you’re going to catch a cold.”

    “No seriously Felix, it’s fine. You know my house is only 7 minutes from here. I can survive 7 more minutes in these clothes and in the rain.”

    “Are you crazy? You can’t go back in the rain.” He motions out the window, and you can see that the rain has started to come down harder. You pause and take a moment to think about your current situation: on one hand, you could run all the way back home and take a nice warm shower, but on the other hand, you’re enjoying the warmth of the bakery too much and you really don’t want to go back in the rain. However, the look that Felix is giving you right now makes you feel like the first option is not a viable one for you. Reluctantly, you take the clothes that Felix is offering to you and make your way towards the restroom to go change. Once you’ve finished getting change, you look at yourself in the mirror. Your hair was a complete sad mess, but you have to say that the clothes Felix gave you makes you look somewhat decent. Looking down at the design displayed on your chest, you realize that you were wearing the t-shirt that all the workers at the bakery wore.

    Exiting the restroom, you see Felix mopping the floor, “Sorry about that by the way.”

    Finishing up, he says to you, “It’s no problem really, now the floor is extra clean.” That was something you liked about Felix, he always made it seem like you or any other person was never a bother.

    Looking outside the window, you see that the rain hasn’t let up, “Wow, it’s really raining hard.”

    “Yeah, looks like you may be here a while.” Accepting your fate, you pull down a chair that was stacked on one of the tables and set it down, grabbing the bag that you had with you and opening it up. The aroma of Korean chicken fills your nostrils, and you make a gesture to the spot in front of you to Felix, who kindly accepts.

    “Nice dinner you got there.”

    Pointing towards the box, “Would you like some?”

    “I would love some.” He happily grabs a wing and starts munching on it.

    For the next few minutes, the two of you silently enjoy your food.

    “Y’know,” Felix starts, “I think this is the first time me and you have hung out by ourselves.” Taking a moment to think, you realize that he’s right. Usually Nakyung or Jeongin would be with you guys, but due to circumstances they��re not.

    “It’s not weird is it?”

    Quickly shaking his head, he says, “No, no, not at all. I actually quite like this. I feel like I can get to know you better now.” It’s not like you and Felix didn’t know anything about each other. You had come to the bakery so often, so of course you’d get to know one another. Using this as your chance to get to know each other better, you ask Felix, “Is there anything you want to ask me?”

    Taking a second to think, he asks you, “Why’d you start working at the daycare?” You go on to explain to him that you always wanted to work with children, but being an actual teacher was too much for you. So when you saw online that there was an open position at the daycare, you went to visit for an interview, and basically fell in love with all the children who were there. And now here you were, a year later, still loving your job. “Okay, my turn. How’d you get into baking?”

    “It was just a hobby; something to do in my free time, and at first, I was horrible at it. The first thing I ever baked were a batch of brownies, and they ended up being rock solid. Instead of stopping because I failed, I attempted to make them again until I made the best brownies. Everyone fell in love with them, just like Jeongin, and then I started branching out into other desserts and pastries. Now I’m here, living my best life where I get to bake whatever I want, and see people enjoy my creations.” You could tell that Felix really enjoyed being a baker with the way he joyful answered your question.

    The night continued on like this, with each of you throwing questions back and forth getting to know one another, the rain seeming like it would never lighten. Eventually the questions stop, but instead the pair of you told stories about your pasts.

    “You know, back in high school, Nakyung was so popular.” You had no idea what prompted you to bring this up to Felix, but you couldn’t stop yourself from continuing.

    “That’s not surprising.” Felix responds.

    “Yeah, she was so popular that every girl wanted to be her, and every guy wanted to be with her, including every single one of my crushes.” That last part slipped out on accident, but now that it’s been said, you couldn’t take it back.

    “Oh.”

    Quickly, to not ruin the mood, you say, “It’s not like I hated her for that or anything. I couldn’t possibly hate her for something like that. I’m not that petty, but I’m sure it was nice to have so many guys falling for you.”

    In attempt to make you feel better, Felix says, “I’m sure there were plenty of people that liked you too. They were probably just too shy to say or do anything.” Felix’s comment makes you laugh, “Please, no one liked me the way they did Nakyung.”

    “If it makes you feel any better, I can say that I do.” You don’t understand what Felix means by that, so you tilt your head in confusion.

    “What do you mean?”

    Watching Felix take a deep breath, he confesses, “I like you Y/n.” It takes you a moment to process what Felix has said to you. This didn’t seem very real to you at all. You’ve never had someone confess to you. You were just so used to everyone liking all the prettier girls like Nakyung. It almost seemed hysterical to you.

    “No you don’t.” You’re quick to turn down Felix’s confession.

    “I-what?”

    “You don’t like me Felix, you say firmly.

    The look on Felix’s face shows you that he’s not understanding what’s currently happening. “Why are you saying that?”

    “Because you have liked Nakyung for so long, and she likes you back. I just happened to pique your interest for the moment because you may have gotten tired from your regular routine, but when it comes down to it Lix, Nakyung is the one for you.” Every word that you said was how you truly felt about things.

    “Maybe that was true in the beginning when you first started to visit the bakery because I was interested in finding out what type of person you were, but then something shifted when you became a regular and we truly started to get to know each other.” Felix’s confession is too much for you. When you thought of Felix, you thought of Nakyung. In your mind they were a package; you couldn’t have one without the other. And you didn’t want to be the person that got in the middle of something perfect and ruin it.

    “I’m sorry Felix,” you gently say. You felt bad for rejecting him, but you didn’t reciprocate his feelings, nor did you truly think that he had actual feeling for you. Quickly getting up, you thank him for his kindness and rush out the bakery door, not caring that it was still pouring outside.

    “Wait! Y/n!” Felix calls after you, however, you don’t bother to turn around, ignoring his calls.

    It had been a couple of weeks since you rejected Felix, and you were currently on your way to the market to pick up some groceries, when you heard a voice calling out your name, “Y/n!” Looking around to see who it was, you see Nakyung approaching you. “Hey Nakyung.”

    “Hey you, I haven’t seen you at the bakery in a while.” You thought it was best to avoid the bakery ever since you rejected Felix’s confession.

    “Oh, yeah, I’ve just been busy recently that I couldn’t stop by.” Which was totally false, you just weren’t that close to Nakyung to tell her the true reason why.

    “Are you busy? We can go get a drink at the bakery.” The bakery was the last place you wanted to be right now.

    “Actually, why don’t we go to Starbucks? I needed to get a gift card anyways.” No you didn’t, but it seemed like a good excuse.

    “That works for me.”

    Once the two of you arrived at Starbucks and ordered your drinks, plus the gift card that you were just going to use on yourself, you had sat down at a table in the corner.

    “So how have you been recently?” You ask Nakyung to startup a conversation.

    “Oh me? I’ve been doing good, and you? How have you been doing?”

    “I’m doing good as well.”

    “Quit the crap Y/n, there’s something going on in that little head of yours.” You weren’t sure if Nakyung was just good at reading people or if she knew about you and Felix.

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She gives you a look, that means that she doesn’t believe what you’re saying, “Okay, fine. I’ve been…distracted by something.”

    “And does this something have to do with a light-haired baker?” Now you were definitely sure that she knew. Felix probably told her everything. Maybe he didn’t have to tell her anything and she just could tell that something was off with him.

    Hesitantly, you ask her, “Okay, what do you know?”

    “I don’t know a lot, but I do know that Felix likes you and that you rejected him. So why? Why’d you reject him?” So she did know about Felix’s supposed feelings for you. Instead of replying to her questions, you say, “I’m sorry.” Not expecting that to be your response, Nakyung is a little taken back, but relaxes within a second.

    “Please don’t do that. Don’t apologize for something that you couldn’t have prevented.” Nakyung was handling this situation better than you would have. You know you would have either been yelling or crying to both you and Felix.

    “You know, I kind of figured he…that what we had was disappearing when his smile started becoming wider whenever he saw you. Then I really confirmed it when he started giving you special baked goods because that’s what he used to do for me.” By the end of her sentence, her tone became very somber and you just wanted to reach across the table and hug her.

    In attempt to make her feel better, you say, “I’m sure that what Felix is feeling for me right now will pass. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and no one can look at a person like that and say that they don’t like you.” Nakyung takes a moment to collect her thoughts before saying to you,

    “You’re right. Which is why I can say that I too have seen the way he looks at you, and it’s a look I’ve never seen him give me.” Unable to find any words to say back to her, you watch as she looks down sadly at the drink in her hands. Reaching across the table, you gently lay a hand on top of hers as a gesture to let her know that it’s okay and that you’re right there for her.

    “Y’know,” she laughs to herself before continuing, “I think the tables have finally turned.” Your head tilts to the side as you try to figure out what she meant. Sensing your confusion, she goes on to say, “Back in high school, I knew about your crushes on Eric, Hwiyoung and Jaemin.” Surprised, you drop your hand from hers and lean back in your chair, looking at her with a stunned expression, wondering how she could’ve possibly known.

    “You were obvious Y/n. You basically followed them around like a lost puppy, and I only figured it out because they followed me around like a lost puppy.” You were unable to deny her claim. Looking back on it now, that’s exactly how it was in high school.

    “But now, like I said, the tables have turned, and the guy that I like likes you.” Taking in her words, you realize that she’s finally feeling the pain you felt in the past, except for it’s worse for her because their feelings went both ways unlike your one-sided crushes.

    “But you know I don’t like him, right?” You never saw Felix in that way. To you, he was just the sweet, bright guy who baked amazing pastries. He was the guy that knew how to brighten up the room. He was also the guy that you forward to seeing every morning you planned to visit the bakery.

    “Lost in thought there?” Nakyung’s voice brings you out of your thoughts about Felix. Once you’ve focused your attention back onto Nakyung, she’s giving you this expression that you can’t quite describe. “Oh, I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

    “I asked you if you were sure about that because you know, I wouldn’t blame you if you did like Felix. He’s an amazing guy; a total sweetheart. He listens to all your concerns and makes you cute little treats. He gives the best hugs. His smile makes you want to smile. Honestly, I could go on and on about him, and I think you could too.”  With the way Nakyung spoke of Felix, you could tell that her feelings for Felix were deep, which made you feel worse because you unintentionally ruined something that was great.

    Nakyung looks down at the time on her phone and starts to get ready to leave. “I have to go soon, my shift is about to start, but look Y/n,” she pauses to look you in the eyes, “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. You can’t help it when someone’s feelings change. It’s not your fault. And I know that you don’t like Felix, but maybe just give him a chance. The two of you both deserve to be happy, and I can tell that you already make him happy, and I can guarantee that he’ll make you happy too. Just think about it, yeah? Don’t think about me, think about yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, you know where you can find me.” With that, she bids you a goodbye, leaving you alone to think about her words and Felix.

    The following day after your impromptu hangout with Nakyung and after a long night of thinking, you were at the daycare getting ready for story time. While you were busy trying to round up the kids for story time, you hear a knock off in the distance, and then all of a sudden, all of the kids started to run off in one direction. Turning around to see who could possibly have caused the kids to get this excited, you are met with the sight of Felix holding a pastry box. He manages to send you a wave, while some of the kids try to get him to carry them. Awkwardly standing in your position, you wave back at him and contemplate whether or not you should help him or not. Being the good person that you are, you choose to help him.

    “Kids, I know you guys are happy to see Felix and he’s happy to see you, but I don’t think he appreciates you guys bombarding him. I’m sure that if you guys give him a little bit of space that he’ll share his lovely treats with you guys.” At the sound of your last sentence, the kids relax and back away from him. Felix gives you a thankful smile, and then goes to squat down to speak to the kids.

    “You guys want to see what I brought you guys today?” Cheers of yes’s sound off, and you can’t help but let out a soft chuckle. Suddenly you sense a presence next to you, “Oh? Felix is here?”

    Slightly turning to Jeongin, “Yeah, I wonder why.” Jeongin does his best to avoid your gaze, “I don’t know, why don’t you go and ask him.” He gently shoves you towards the direction of Felix, which catches Felix’s attention.

    He smiles up at you as you slowly approach him. He’s still handing out the cake pops that he’s brought for the kids. After he’s given the last child their cake pop, he rises back up, giving you the same smile he gave the kids.

    “Hey.”

    “Hi.” The awkwardness is killing you.

    “Heyy.” The last hey comes from Jeongin, and the glare you send him makes him back off. Though you do appreciate his effort of trying to make this less awkward than it already was.

    “Hey Jeongin.” Jeongin then goes off to wrangle the kids together again, leaving you and Felix by yourselves in awkward silence.

    “Soo…what made you stop by?” This was the first time Felix had come down to the daycare, so you really weren’t sure why he was here, especially with everything that’s happened between the two of you.

    “Oh, today’s my day off and to keep myself busy I thought I’d try out this new cake pop recipe and thought that the kids would like to try them.” Of course Felix was still baking on his day off.

    “And I thought that you would like these.” Felix hands you a small container. Curious, you open it up to see your favorite macarons.

    “How’d you know these were my favorite?”

    “Y/n, you buy at least two of them every time they’re available.” You didn’t realize that Felix noticed that about you, but then again you didn’t realize a lot of things about Felix.

    “Oh, um thank you.”

    “You’re welcome, I just thought that since you haven’t been by Sunshine’s recently that you might be missing them, so I made some for you this morning.” The smile he gives you gives you a warm feeling on the inside, and you do your best to ignore it.

    “You made them this morning? Felix you really didn’t have to.”

    “No, it’s alright, I wanted to…and I wanted to see you.” That’s why he was truly here. It’s been about a week since you’ve rejected him, which has been enough time for you to think.

    “Ah, I see.” Before you could say anything else, Daisy walks up to the two of you and grabs at Felix’s hand.

    “Felix, will you sit with me during story time?”

    “Daisy, I’m sure Felix would love to, but he’s probably very busy today.”

    “Actually, I’m not, so yes Daisy, I’d love to sit with you during story time.” He gives you a cheeky grin before letting the little girl guide him to the reading circle.

    For the entirety of story time, you and Jeongin had to deal with little children with sugar rushes and you could say that you were slightly thankful for the fact that Felix was there to help the two of you. Even though he was the reason as to why they were like this. You had also done you best to ignore the longing stares Felix gave you as you read The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Once story time finish, it was time for the children to pack up and get ready to be picked up. Fortunately for you, this meant that Felix didn’t have a chance to talk to you, but unfortunately for you, once the last child left, Felix was still at the daycare.

    “I got to go check something in the office, be right back.” Jeongin excuses himself from the room, leaving you alone with Felix. You mentally curse Jeongin because you knew he left so Felix could talk to you.

    “Y/n-“ Before Felix could finish what he was saying, you cut him off. “Could you hand me that?” Pointing at the doll that needed to be put up. Handing you the doll, Felix catches your wrist when you turn around to put it up. “Y/n, can we just talk for a minute?”

    Slowly turning around, you say to him, “There’s nothing to talk about.” You knew you were being rude to Felix, but you thought you were doing what was right.

    “Okay fine, just listen okay? If you don’t have anything to say to me afterwards then I’ll get out of your hair.” Instead of responding, you continue to pick up the toys the kids left on the ground.

    You hear Felix take a deep breath before he goes on to say, “I know that it was sudden when I confessed to you, but I truly meant it Y/n. And I know that you think that I like Nakyung still, but I don’t, and I haven’t for a while now. Before you can say that I was playing with her feelings while liking you, I know, and I feel horrible, but she was a safe place for me and then you came in like a tornado and ruined that for me. I just want you to know that we talked about it, and she’s okay with us. If there’s even a chance for us. I just hope that you’ll give me a chance to show you my true feelings.”

    Stopping your actions, you take a moment to process Felix’s words. You felt bad for Nakyung, but you couldn’t help but feel a small yearning for Felix. After everything that’s happened, you’ve come to the conclusion that you may have feelings for Felix. He was everything you wanted in a partner, and here he was trying his best to be with you.

    “You won’t be giving away special desserts to other people, right?” At the sound of your sentence, a smile starts to grow on Felix’s face.

    Chuckling, he says, “No, I won’t. Except for the kids.”

    “And me!” Jeongin yells out from the back. The two of you can’t help but laugh at him. Instead of directly responding to Felix, you walk closer to him, and slightly bump him with your waist. “Good.”

A/N: im so sorry this took so long to come out; I had so many ideas for this and didn’t know which direction to go in, but I hope you guys liked it. feel free to let me know what you guys think!

#lee felix #lee Felix imagine #lee felix fluff #lee Felix au #lee felix reactions #lee felix scenario #stray kids felix #stray kids au #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids scenario #stray kids x reader #skz Felix #skz fluff #skz #skz au #skz imagines #skz scenario #skz x reader #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #kpop #kpop au #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #skz reactions

[the-most-slytherin-hufflepuff]

Chapter 6

I manged to finish chapter 6 😃. I’m so excited about this one. I had so much fun and I hope y’all like it. Inspiration for the fic comes from @heyitssmiller and her fabulous anons. Credit for the characters goes to @lumosinlove 

To say he was nervous was a gross understatement. Leo had spent his whole life behind the tower’s walls, and now he was going to a place full of people. He was going to meet Finn and Logan’s family. 

Leo stopped in his tracks when he saw the stone building. The orphanage didn’t look the way he expected. It was a house, probably a family estate. It didn’t look scary or intimidating, it looked inviting and warm and like what a home was supposed to be. 

It looked like what the tower never was. 

Leo heard Finn take a deep breath. “Celeste is going to have our heads.” 

A nervous laugh bubbled out of Logan. “Yeah, we’re super dead.” 

“Worth it”, Finn said softly, looking at Leo. The boy didn’t seem to notice. 

The blonde had a worried expression on his face. He had heard Logan and Finn talk about Celeste constantly. She sounded like a great person, if not a little scary, but nothing like what Walburga was like. What worried Leo was that she wouldn’t like him. 

He didn’t know why that worried him so much. He’d told the other two as much, they had tried reassuring him. Tried telling him she would like him just fine because, as Logan put it, “what’s not to like”. 

“Well, let’s go.” Finn began walking towards the building. “To our, hopefully painless, deaths”. 

“I can’t tell if you are joking or not”, Leo sounded worried. 

Logan laughed, “they’re joking, trust me.” 

Finn turned around to look at Leo, they had a puzzled look on their face before something clicked in their mind. 

“Don’t worry, Celeste is a sweetheart she won’t hurt us.” 

They opened the door. A small child with long brown hair came running out and jumped on Logan, wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. 

“Hey Katie.” 

Logan put her down and she looked up at him with a glare. “Logan Tremblay, don’t ever disappear like that again.” 

Finn watched Logan get scolded by a small ten year old Katie with an amused face. After glaring at Logan for a few seconds she turned around to look at Finn, she was mad. 

“Don’t think I forgot about you. Disappear like that again and I’m taking away your Katie privileges.” She turned to look at Logan, “yours too”. 

Leo tried to suppress a laugh as he watched them both apologize profusely. “What are Katie privileges?” 

Logan looked at Leo before explaining, “Basically, if she takes away our Katie privileges, we would have to call her Katherine.”

She turned to look at Leo, the anger in her face changing into curiosity. 

“Hello, who are you?” 

“I’m Leo.” He put his hand out for a handshake. 

“Katherine”, she said, shaking Leo’s hand. 

“Wow Katie, you’re so classy”, Finn said between giggles, “shaking hands and everything.” 

“Shut it Finnegan”. 

Logan laughed at Finn’s pouting face. “Lo, you’re sister is making fun of me”. 

Logan’s shrug made Finn pout more. Leo wanted to kiss it away. 

 He shouldn't feel like that about Finn. They had a boyfriend who, Leo realized, he also wanted to kiss. The realization made him startle slightly. He wasn’t exactly surprised, he had dreamt about having a storybook ending since forever. Someone coming to rescue him from the evil inside the tower had been a fantasy of his since he had started reading. 

In the story it was always some damsel in the tower. It was always a girl getting rescued by a dashing prince. Finn and Logan weren’t a prince, and he wasn’t a damsel, but Leo found that he really didn’t care. They had gotten him out of his own personal hell, that he had lived in for years, and he loved them for that. 

Leo had known Finn and Logan for about three days, and he knew almost nothing about them, but he knew enough to know that what he felt wasn’t just gratitude. They were patient with him when he didn’t understand things, and made him laugh and got him out of his thoughts when they drifted to the more dangerous of his memories and they were so beyond gentle with him. 

They made Leo happy. 

They had taken every idea, thought and opinion Walburga had planted into his mind and destroyed every single one of them, and yes maybe somewhere there was someone that would want to take advantage of him the way she always told him the world would, but she already did that.

 Walburga was every single danger and horror she preached about. People like her were the reason Leo wasn’t allowed to leave the tower. That’s why he had made the deal with Finn in the first place. He had made a choice between two monsters and he didn’t regret it. 

If Leo had chosen to stay, to just give Finn the crown and let them leave without him, he wouldn’t have gotten to know either of them. He wouldn’t have known that there were people out there that could care for him, he wouldn’t have known what kindness and love felt like. 

If given the choice again, he would always choose Finn and Logan. 

“Leo, are you alright”. He met Logan's worried gaze. Leo blinked slowly, shaking the thoughts from his mind before responding. 

“Yeah, I’m ok” he tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. 

“Well Katie is already inside and probably announced to the world that we’re here so”, Finn made a motion with their hand, “you may get questioned by an eccentric twenty three year old .” 

Leo laughed, Logan was pleased to hear it sounded real. “What do you mean ‘questioned’.”

“June is very curious. She tends to ask a lot of questions.” 

“Who’s June?”  

“June is Finn’s Katie”, came Logan’s response. “Come on”, he motioned with his hands for Leo and Finn to follow him inside the house. 

The inside was interesting to say the least. There were toys and books thrown all over the floor.  A boy and girl were running around being chased by Katie, there was who Leo guessed was June, painting the portrait of a woman that was sitting in front of her. 

  “Alright so, they”, Finn whispered while pointing at the kids, “are Pascal and Celeste’s children. Marc, Adele and well you already met Katie.” 

“What about them?”

“That’s June“, they pointed at the girl painting, ”and her girlfriend Heather. 

The girls turned at the hushed voices. June’s eyes went wide when she saw Finn. She ran towards them and hugged them tightly. 

“June, I can’t breathe.”

“Shut up, you have no say in this”, she said, hugging them tighter. Leo could have sworn he heard Finn’s back crack. 

“June”, Heather grabbed June's waist, trying to pry her off of Finn, “love, they need air”. 

“June, sweetie, I prefer my partners in one piece”, Logan said between giggles. 

June must have decided that Finn had suffered enough, because she let them go,  punching them in the arm right after. “Finn soon-to-be Tremblay, I will only say this one, you disappear like that again and I am hurting you.”

Logan blushed slightly at the name, Finn just laughed. “Heather please control your girlfriend before she murders me.” 

“Why on earth would I do that Finn.”

“Because you like me and would hate to see me dead?”

Leo felt a slight tug at his hair and looked down. Katie was braiding a small piece of his hair. “Hi”. 

Katie looked up at him, “can I braid your hair?” eyes shining with barely suppressed excitement. 

Leo thought about it. He wasn’t used to anyone other than Walburga touching his hair, but how could he say no to such a cute kid. “Yeah”. 

Katie grabbed his hand and brought him over to where Adele and Marc were seated on cushions with a basket of different colored daisies. When Leo sat down the three of them began braiding the flowers into his hair. It was calming, he liked being able to relax into the feeling of someone doing his hair just because they wanted to. Katie, Adele and Marc didn't have ulterior motives to do this, they didn't know, and even if they did Leo doubted they would want to hurt him like Walburga did.

“Hey”- a girl’s soft voice brought him out of his thoughts- “my name is Adele, this is my brother Marc. What’s your name?”

“Leo. It’s nice meeting you”. 

“Why is your hair so long?” Marc said from besides him. He was making a flower crown. 

“My caretaker has never let me cut it.” He tried to keep his tone light. 

Katie hummed, like never cutting your hair was a completely sane decision. “I wish I didn’t have to cut my hair”, she said before going back to placing flowers on Leo’s hair.

“All done”, Adele said as she placed an orange daisy on Leo’s ear. “Come on, let’s go show Lo and Finn.” She pulled Leo by the arm and dragged him over to where Finn and Logan were sitting with June as she continued to paint Heather. 

Katie reached them first. Logan picked her up and sat her on his lap so she could whisper something to him. “We made Leo’s hair pretty.” Logan smiled softly before looking up and seeing Leo. 

Logan’s thoughts stumbled over each other. Different versions of the words beautiful and adorable and lovely running through his mind in both English and French. Finn felt a couple faint taps on their leg, but they didn’t pay any attention to it. Their  mind couldn't focus on anything that wasn't blonde hair, daisies and soft baby blue eyes.  

“What do you think?” Leo asked, twirling so they could have a good view of the braid. Finn made a soft sound while Logan just sighed, a soft smile on his face. 

“You look-”, a dreamy sigh left his lungs, Logan couldn’t find words to describe the way Leo looked. 

“You look amazing”, Finn had a dopey smile on their face.  

“Thank you.” There was a soft blush on Leo’s cheeks, his eyes shining with amusement and something else Logan couldn't recognize. “I think the crown is a nice touch.” 

Finn couldn’t have agreed more with the last statement. The crown on Leo’s head was beautiful. It was made of yellow and purple daisies, and it fit Leo perfectly. Resting gently on his head like a halo. 

Logan watched Leo crouch down in front of Katie so that she could fix the flowers that had gone out of place with a soft look in his eyes. Both Finn and Logan turned towards each other, brown meeting green, a mutual understanding passing between them. 

Leo was great. He was funny and sarcastic and beautiful. Even though they had met Leo less than three days ago it felt like they had known each other for years. Whatever it was that Finn and Logan felt for Leo was right. 

They realized that what they felt about Leo was exactly how they felt about each other. They loved Leo. They didn’t know how they fell for someone they had just met, didn’t know when or why or even what it was that made them fall in love in the first place, but it didn’t matter. 

Finn and Logan loved Leo and it felt right, and if they had learnt anything through the years it was that things like these didn’t follow order. Love was messy and wild and free and so right. 

Finn and Logan loved Leo, they just hoped Leo could love them back.

#finn o'hara #logan tremblay #lumosinlove #o'knutzy tangled au #leo knut #o’knutzy

[ren-therose]

Greetings and salutations! I just woke from a sleep to send in this request. I was wondering if you could do something with the Criminal Minds crew along the lines of the reader being absolutely exhausted and stressed from a case that they stay late at the office and fall asleep in the bullpen. Im just wondering what everyone’s reactions would be when they all come into work the next day and find the reader like that?

Okay so I was literally about to finish this when all of my work got deleted and I am so freaking frustrated. I hope I can remember everything I wrote and include it. Also, I see the Heathers reference and if you are interested, I might be willing to do some JD or even Rrrrrrrrrronica one-shots. 

The BAUs Reaction to Finding You Asleep (BAU!Team X Reader

Word Count: 979 words

Summary: This is how I’d imagine the members of the BAU would find you after you fall asleep in the bullpen. 

You basically grew up in the BAU. From the high school seminars presented by former BAU agents, to when you were inducted into the academy, the BAU was another home to you. You were one of Rossi’s top students in his class he would put on for trainees. When you finally passed your training, it was no wonder that Rossi put in the request to have you transferred to the BAU. Unfortunately, as most members of the team would sooner or later encounter, you were targeted by an unsub. Though you ultimately killed him in a standoff, you were left distressed due to the lack of answers you would never get from the unsub. 

After you return home, you stay a little later than expected at the office. By midnight, most of your coworkers trickled out. You however, fell asleep in the midst of the paperwork. This is how the team responded:

Hotch: In complete honesty, Hotch probably didn’t leave either. He saw you when he came out early in the morning, and sighed as he realized what he was about to do. He came down into the bullpen and gently woke you from your sleep, and helped you up into his office. He let you lay on his couch, drifting back to sleep, with his jacket wrapped around you. He even let you miss the briefing, and caught you up on the newest case in the jet. 

Morgan and Garcia: When Morgan finds you there, he is...awkward to say the least. After a few minutes of watching your crumpled body keeled over on the desk, arms protecting your head like you were in trouble. He called Garcia, and once she told him that he needed to bring you “in his big, strong, chocolatey arms” down to her office, where she could take care of you. Needless to say, you were confused to wake up in the resident BAU hunks arm, which would prompt for a great story in years to come. 

Rossi: He doesn’t have the name “Papa Rossi” for no reason. When he comes in, he gently wakes you up and brings you into his office. When he shuts the door and asks you whats wrong, you immediately break down on him, while he holds you in a large brace. When you begin to quiet down, he places you down on the couch to sit, while he makes you a classic italian espresso (after first offering a little whiskey, which you politely decline). You sit and talk until the rest of the team comes in to the facility. Ultimately, he invites you over for dinner to keep talking that night, which you happily accept, knowing how amazing his pasta was. 

Emily: Em knows what it is like to not want to return home alone. That’s why when she sees you sleeping at your desk, she wakes you up, and tell you that you should take the day. When you protest and tell her that you didn’t want to go back to your place, she grabs you by both arms and tells you that she isn’t making you go home- you can stay with her until you were ready. You stay at her place for the day until she comes home, where you watch dateline, eat pizza, drink wine and talk about the good and the bad of your lives both in and out of work. 

Spencer: Gosh, even though he was boy genius, he was also pretty smitten with you. Not that it was inherently romantic, but he was very protective of you. Slumped over on your desk, your hair crumpled and makeup just slightly smeared, he decided that he wouldn’t bother you. When you did wake up, he was sitting there next to you, flipping through your files and finishing up your paperwork. As you slowly came to your senses, the smell of sweet coffee infiltrated your nose, and you perked up to see him looking over at you, a lopsided smile across his lips. You smiled back, wiggling your eyebrows as you glanced down at the coffee. He pushed the cup towards you, and it was in fact doctored to your liking. He knows what kind of coffee you like. 

JJ: JJ comes in and would definitely cover for you. She would stay with you until you woke up, or needed to be woken up. When you wake, she would ask if you have your go bag still, and would move you into a conference room so that you could change. She would even help do your hair and makeup to make sure that by the time the rest of the team got there, they wouldn’t even realize what had happened the night before. 

BONUS

Luke: When he walks in and sees you there, he would go back out to his car and go back home. When he comes back, Roxy would be with him. Walking up to you, puppy in tow, Roxy would sit next to you and rest her head on your lap, nudging you with her big nose. When you stirred from your sleep, Roxy got excited and started licking your face. A smile came across your face as Alvez started laughing, happy to see that you were okay. He let Roxy stay with you until he had to take her back before the plane left. You subsequently became his dog sitter when he was out of town.

Gideon: He is not gonna do shit. Sorry. Dad Gideon might come by, drop a book and it startles you, but he won’t talk to you about it until later. When he does, he would apologize for being so abrupt, and would then comfort you because in truth, you can’t help but cry when talking to him. Your guard would completely come down with him and you would allow yourself to cry on him. 

[onlysarah235678]

A Little Bit Part 4

Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x female reader

A/N: Wow this one is a lot longer. Sorry this one took a while. I’m back at work, and then I’ll be back in school. As always, enjoy :) Gif not mine!

Warnings: kitten angst, date fluff, and brief mention of dog distress.

Thursday couldn’t come fast enough for either of you. Vet clinics were always busy during the summer no matter where in the country you were. People had more free time which they happened to spend outside with their pets. More people were bringing their dogs in for snake bites than you were used to back East. That said, you had never seen a dog or cat get bitten by a rattlesnake before, but you were already on your third one this week.

You were still texting Billie when you had the chance, but she was busier this week too so you didn’t usually hear back from her until after work. You were happy to hear that Mickey had been the first kitten to open his eyes on Tuesday and another couple had followed this morning. You were being bombarded with kitten pictures and questions as they got older, but you loved it. They looked so cute, and you were thrilled that Billie was enjoying their company.

She still had someone take care of them during the day, but at night you would usually get a kitten report and a picture of the entire family. Bit was being a little more receptive to taking care of Mickey again now that he was a little bigger, but she still didn’t pay him as much attention as the others. As soon as he was done nursing, he was usually moved meaning that Billie had to keep him around her a lot between feedings to keep him warm.

They didn’t have names yet, but Billie had told you she’d decide once they came in for their visit next week. Hopefully it would be a little easier to tell their sex at this point, but you weren’t optimistic since they would only be a little more than three weeks old. Usually you couldn’t do accurate sex determination until 5 weeks, but at the very least it would be another opportunity to see the kittens and Billie again.

Billie was just as busy as you were this week. Her producer had told her that she had a lot of ADR to do. A majority of her dialogue from the first few episodes needed to be recorded. These episodes had taken place in one of the noisiest buildings she’d ever filmed in. An old school for the mute ironically.

As a result, she’d been spending a lot of time running back and forth between the studio and home this week, and by the time Wednesday afternoon rolled around she was exhausted. She was excited for tomorrow night though. She’d already made a reservation at a restaurant she hoped you’d like. It was nicer than the café and definitely fitting for your first date because it was definitely a date.

Billie was distracted from her plans for tomorrow night by her assistant’s knock on the door. She had been taking her lunch break which was almost over when Michelle came to find her.

Billie turned with a smile assuming the blonde was just going to tell her it was time to get back to work. She hadn’t been expecting the stressed out look she wore. Billie hadn’t even considered what was actually wrong.

“What is it?”

Michelle shifted some of the things in her arms to one side so she could hold up her phone.

“Heather called. There’s been an accident with one of the kittens.”

You were just finishing lunch when Billie called you. You were sitting at your desk trying to finish up some records between eating when you hear your phone buzzing from under the pile of papers. When you realized that the continued buzzing meant someone’s trying to call you, the shifting of papers becomes slightly more frantic. You let most of them drop into your lap or on the floor before you manage to grab your phone. Seeing it’s Billie you smile before answering quickly.

“Hey, Billie, wh-?”

You don’t get to finish your sentence as Billie interrupts you in a frantic voice. You listen carefully while grabbing the nearest pen to take notes.

“Y/N, Heather called. Mickey fell from her pocket. She thinks he’s okay, but would you have time to see him?”

You don’t even bother looking at your schedule knowing that you’d make the time before telling Billie to bring him in. She hesitated slightly before mentioning that she couldn’t leave work and that Heather would be bringing him. You said that was fine before asking if she told you anything specifically about what had happened.

It sounded like he had been moving around more than expected and he’d just walked out of her pocket. She said it was only a few feet, but you said it was still a good idea to bring him in. You hung up with her after promising to give her a call once you took a look at him.

You quickly picked up your papers before putting Mickey on the schedule and heading downstairs to let someone know. Billie said that she was already on her way because she’d called from the car not sure of where to go, so she’d be here soon hopefully.

You get downstairs and see that most people are still on lunch. A few assistants are still on the clock, and the first one you see is on the phone. You go into the back and see that Erin is still eating lunch with another assistant, so you intend to continue your search for someone else when she sees you.

“Hey Dr. Y/L/N. What’s up?”

You decide to tell her because you have a feeling she wouldn’t mind cutting her lunch a little short. You’re not wrong and the brunette jumps up from her seat with a horrified look.

“What happened to the little Howard kitten?!”

You sigh as you explain the situation while Erin goes to the computer to clock back in. She then goes to the schedule and notices immediately that kitten 6 is now named.

“Aw his name’s Mickey. That’s so cute! So is she on her way?”

Erin follows you into the pharmacy as you nod in confirmation before you correct yourself.

“Actually, her pet sitter is bringing him in.”

You don’t miss how Erin visibly deflates at this news, and you feel bad for a second before she sighs in defeat.

“Aw well. They still have their regular kitten visits for me to fangirl over her.”

You barely hold back a laugh as you think about how Billie would respond to this. You have a feeling she’d like having a fan here at the office. Hell there are probably more.

“Have you watched any more of her show?”

The question surprises you but you try not to let it show as you mentally add up all the episodes of Billie’s show you’ve watched since your lunch on Saturday. You watched a couple a night if you weren’t too tired so that’s maybe 10 or so. You say this to Erin and she nods before asking a follow up question. You have no problem answering it because you have some time to kill, but you also don’t want to give anything away.

You hadn’t really considered how things would change at work if you started dating Billie. You doubted your paths would cross here other than when she brought her kittens. You didn’t expect random visits since this was a little out of her way, but you couldn’t be sure. You two hadn’t talked about that because well you hadn’t even gone on a real first date yet.

“Are you liking it? Have you seen the episode when she was in that asylum?”

You nod and open your mouth to respond when you hear the front door open. You hear a frantic voice and figure you know who it is. Erin picks up on this too and goes up front to go ahead and bring them to an exam room. She’d go in as soon as she did in case it was an emergency.

“Heather, can you tell me what happened?”

You felt bad for the younger woman. She was crying and barely calm enough to speak. You had a feeling she was terrified about getting fired or worse and unfortunately you couldn’t really reassure her of anything until you looked at Mickey.

The kitten was definitely bigger since you last saw him and that made you smile, but he was very sedate. He wasn’t bleeding and he had no obvious injuries, but as you carefully examined him, he definitely seemed off. You ignored the sound of Bit meowing from her carrier as Heather wipes her nose with a tissue before shaking her head.

“I was walking downstairs with him in my pocket like usual but before I got to the bottom of the stairs, I felt him fall out. I don’t—I don’t know how he did it, I didn’t feel him move or anything.”

You watch as the redhead begins to cry again and you rush to offer any reassurance you can at this point.

“Well he’s not bleeding so that’s a good sign. Do you know if he hit anything other than the ground? Did he roll down the stairs or anything like that?”

Heather shook her head before telling you that he’d just fallen out and then she saw him at the bottom of the stairs.

“He may have rolled down a few, I’m not sure. God is he going to be okay?”

You continue your exam not noting any abnormal heart rhythm or breathing patterns. You try to stand Mickey up but he definitely doesn’t want to do that. He whines slightly before falling back onto his stomach. You hear Heather mutter a curse before you come up with a plan.

“Has he nursed today, been normal otherwise?”

Heather just nods but she doesn’t look away from Mickey who is resting his head on the table, eyes closed.

“Yeah, completely normal.”

You nod before deciding to listen to him again, just to be sure. You take a minute, still not noticing anything abnormal before you share what you think.

“So the only thing I can appreciate on his exam is that he doesn’t want to stand up. His whining might be from pain, but it’s hard to tell. Does he usually make a lot of noise throughout the day?”

Heather just shakes her head and you nod before doing a couple of calculations in your head.

“Okay. Well there are a couple of things that we can do.”

You tell Heather that you can take x-rays to see if there is anything obviously broken from his fall. They could also just monitor him for the next few hours here before sending him home if nothing changes. The last and least favorable option would be to take him home and just see how he did.

Heather clearly didn’t want to do the last option as she shook her head and took a deep breath.

“No, I think I want to take x-rays to be sure, but I probably need to call Ms. Howard.”

You nod before mentioning that you promised to call her after the exam, and you don’t miss how Heather jumps on this opportunity. You don’t blame her for not wanting to talk to Billie right now. She’s probably upset and Heather’s clearly terrified. She’d buy Heather some time if that’s what she needed.

“You’ll call her?”

You nod before you look to the carrier that you assumed held all of the other kittens. That made sense. Leaving them home alone probably wouldn’t have been a good idea. God forbid something else happened.

“Of course. Just give me a few minutes and we’ll do whatever she wants. Erin’s going to take him back with us, you can wait in here if you like or the lobby.”

Heather just nods and thanks you before you retreat to the nearest phone. Erin is carefully cradling Mickey as she opens the door to the back to take him to treatment as you pick up the phone. You dial Billie’s number and wait for what feels like forever before someone you don’t recognize answers.

“Hello, this is Michelle, Ms. Howard’s assistant speaking.”

“Hi Michelle, I’m Dr. Y/L/N at Sunset clinic. I just finished looking at Mickey.”

You hear rustling in the background before hurried footsteps follow as Michelle quite possibly runs somewhere.

“Oh, you’re the vet! Great, just give me one second to find her.”

You just nod muttering ‘not a problem’ while you wait for Michelle to track Billie down. It doesn’t take long and you hear Michelle’s muffled voice saying that it’s you on the phone and Billie’s quick thank you before her voice is in your ear.

“Y/N, how is he?”

You relay what you’d told Heather to Billie and she is eerily quiet when you finish your explanation of the possible next steps. It isn’t until she speaks that you realized she jumped to worst case scenario.

“What will you have to do if he’s broken something?”

You try to figure out how to tell the most truth without getting into all of the possible complications.

“It would depend on what he broke, but I couldn’t get him to react to anything other than trying to make him stand. He was fine for everything else.”

Billie sighs and you swear you hear the flick of a lighter in the background. You don’t have to wait long for the medium to make her decision about what to do next. You’re not surprised by her decision at all. You know how much she adores Mickey.  

“Okay. You can go ahead and do x-rays, but is it possible for him to stay there for the rest of the day? I don’t want Heather to have to worry anymore about him.”

You nod because you were going to suggest keeping him here regardless. Not only was Heather really frazzled, but your techs here would be able to monitor him closely and bottle feed him.

“Of course, I’ll have my assistant take the x-rays while I go tell Heather.”

Billie sighs heavily before nodding in approval. “Thank you, Y/N.”

You smile briefly before hanging up and getting to work.  “Of course, Billie.”

Erin calls you into x-ray a couple of minutes later and you’re eternally grateful when you don’t see any broken bones. You look at the images taken thoroughly before you decide that there’s nothing concerning. Everything looks normal for a 2-week-old kitten. You’re relieved to get to tell Billie this, and you call her while holding Mickey in your lap.

“Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi Billie. So good news, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary for him. No broken bones.”

Billie sighs in relief before taking a drag. “Thank goodness. You’ll still keep him there though?”

“Definitely. We’ll keep a close eye on him for you and you can pick him up at the end of the day.”

Billie doesn’t need to look at her schedule to know that it will be a long day, so she shakes her head.

“I’ll probably have Michelle pick him up. I’m going to be working late.”

After everything is arranged, you talk to Michelle again to get her information before hanging up. Lunch is officially over and your first afternoon appointment is here. You sigh before realizing that you need to get Mickey set up before talking to Heather. You suspect that Erin popped in and told her that everything was fine, so you take your time setting up a space for Mickey and talking to your techs about the plan.

Hopefully it will be an easy, uncomplicated afternoon for him.

Despite knowing that Mickey wasn’t in any immediate danger, it was difficult for Billie to concentrate for the rest of the afternoon. She’d called Heather to confirm that she was going home and would be able to stay late with the other kittens. She made sure to let her know that she wasn’t angry at her. Just thinking about how panicky she’d been during the conversation they’d had as she drove to the vet was enough to make Billie feel bad. Once she was satisfied that she’d calmed Heather’s nerves to the best of her ability, she tried to finish up everything that needed to be done today so she could go home and see Mickey.

She still had almost a full episode-worth of dialogue to record by the end of the day. Things were moving slowly because she had to rewatch all of the footage to time everything correctly. Billie supposed it wasn’t taking any more time than usual, she was just stressed.

Michelle had been nice enough to offer to call and check up on Mickey every so often, but you’d insisted that he would be fine. You’d promised to call if anything changed, so Billie tried to resist being an overbearing parent and refused to check in.

The blonde brought another cup of coffee into the recording booth Billie was in, and she shot the other woman a grateful look.

“Thank you, dear.”

Michelle just nodded with a small smile. “Of course. Is there anything else you need, Billie?”

The medium shakes her head before taking a long sip of coffee. She wished that she could have a cigarette, but that would have to wait until her next break. Which wasn’t going to be for a while.

“No, thank you, Michelle.”

The blonde leaves Billie alone in the booth for the next few minutes she has before she begins recording again. She takes a deep breath before looking back to the pages in front of her. This wouldn’t take too long, if she focused.

Billie didn’t even believe that lie by the time she started reading.

When you went to check on Mickey next, it was after your 3pm appointment. You’d gotten really busy and hadn’t been able to spare a glance at the kitten. You knew that your techs were taking good care of him, but you also felt obligated to watch over him as well. Not just because it was your job, but because you were worried. Mickey had a lot going against him. Being the runt, basically being rejected by Bit and now falling down the stairs.

He was a tough little guy for sure, but you just wanted to make sure that all of Billie’s love and attention wasn’t wasted. You had to make sure that this kitten made it. even if it meant checking on him every chance you got.

When you arrived to the back of treatment where he was being kept you smiled at the sight of him sleeping. He looked adorable.

“He’s pretty cute, isn’t he?”

You turn to see one of your techs watching you from where she’s cleaning instruments at the sink. You nod, not able to stop the smile on your face from growing wider as you watch him shift slightly in his sleep.

“He is. He’s gotten so big since I last saw him.”

Mina smiles as she finishes up what’s she doing before she comes over to stand next to you. You turn to her as she opens the door so you can get a good look at him.

“He’s been the perfect patient. He loved his formula and mostly just lies there. He was walking around a little while ago. If you can call it walking.”

You turn back to him with a smile glad to hear that he’s doing well. He opens his eyes a little at the sound of the door and makes the cutest mewling sound. As you watch him wake up more fully and wiggle around in his blankets you wonder how the hell Billie Dean is going to give him up.

“Here, doc. Did you want to feed him?”

Mina’s holding a small bottle filled with milk and you don’t hesitate to nod before taking it from her with a quiet thanks.

“He’s going to go fast if she brings him back here to be adopted out.”

You nod but otherwise say nothing because you have no doubt about this. Hell, if Billie doesn’t want him you’ll take him. Maybe.

You’re not sure Milo would like that.

After fawning over Mickey for a few minutes, you have to put him back in his bed when your next appointment arrives. You sigh as you look at the clock, it’s only 3:40. You’ve got almost three hours left of work at least. That doesn’t seem like much, but then you have the day off tomorrow and a whole day to prepare for your date with Billie.

As you make your way to the front of the clinic you remind yourself to figure out where you’ll be going sooner rather than later.

Billie Dean was finally done with work for the day. It was already 7 and getting home might take an hour with traffic. She was exhausted and ready to go home and sleep. Well first she had to check on the kittens of course. Mickey had been picked up and dropped off with Heather about 2 hours ago.

Michelle had called to tell her that Y/N had said that everything went well during his stay. He’d even walked around a little. Billie was thrilled to hear this and it took all of her self-control to not groan at the traffic she was already in.

While she sits stuck in traffic she thinks about your plans for tomorrow. Billie hadn’t told you where you were going yet, but she planned on calling you once she got home. Both to give you a heads up about tomorrow’s date but also to thank you. She was extremely grateful that you were able to see Mickey today and that you had been flexible. She knew it was your job, but she just felt better knowing that you were the one taking care of him. She knew that you wouldn’t lie to her.

By the time she got home, she was so tired she could fall asleep. She hadn’t realized how stressful it was dealing with work and worrying about the kittens until she stepped into her house and saw Heather sitting on the couch with Mickey in her lap.

“Ms. Howard.”

Billie just shook her head as she walked further into the room and gestured for the redhead to stand up. She did so, placing Mickey on the couch carefully—he was fast asleep before turning toward the older woman. She was ready to be yelled at, but when she was just pulled into a hug she was too stunned to react immediately. Eventually, when Billie squeezed a little harder, she realized that she had just been standing dumbly and finally hugged the medium back.

“Thank you for today. I’m sorry if you were worried about how I’d react.”

When Billie pulled away and immediately looked to Mickey, Heather moved out of the way so she could get to him. She was still a little on edge and felt like she at least needed to apologize again. She didn’t get very far though before Billie shook her head from where she was now sitting on the couch with Mickey on her lap.

“Still, I’m sorry I--.”

“Don’t apologize, sweetie. It’s okay, I know it wasn’t your fault.”

Heather sighs in defeat but doesn’t argue as she gathers her things to get ready to leave. She mentions how the other kittens are doing fine and she’d just seen them nursing. Billie smiles before she thanks Heather again and watches as she leaves through the front door.

Billie releases a sigh before she picks Mickey up carefully and inspects him. She didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. She smiled as he opened his eyes and made a small sound that made Billie want to crush him in a hug. She didn’t of course, and she just stood up and headed upstairs to change so she could carry him around with her to find some dinner.

You are still in the office when Billie Dean texts you. You got a little behind with records today and you had a few more to get to before you could head home. The buzzing of your phone pulls you from thoughts of skin allergies and you turn in your chair to look for the device. You stand up only for it to fall to the ground, having forgotten that you’d put it on your lap. You sigh before you bend over to pick it up along with some of the papers you have scattered on the floor.

You’re usually very organized, but this week has been a little crazy and staying on top of things has been difficult. It is especially difficult to concentrate when you always have a certain blonde and her kittens on your mind. You unlock your phone and see that Billie’s asking if you’re still at work.

You sigh again because unfortunately you are at least for the next 20 minutes. If you’re lucky. You have two more records to write up, and one of them was a little involved. You say something brief to this effect and continue typing while you wait for her response.

Billie is wondering if you usually stay at work this late. It was 8 o clock and she was barely hanging on to consciousness. She wouldn’t be awake if it weren’t for the glass of wine and the dinner she was forcing herself to eat. She sat with Mickey beside her on a makeshift bed as she looked through emails on her computer. It was late and she wasn’t answering any of them now. She was mostly being a little creepy and seeing what she could find out about you.

It only seemed fair since you’d Googled her.

That said, there was a lot less on you than there was on her. Billie was able to find out where you went to school, and she saw your graduation pictures, but you weren’t really on social media. Your Facebook hadn’t been updated in months and nothing she found really told her anything more than you had on Saturday.

Except one thing.

Billie didn’t read it though. Billie wanted to hear about Y/N from her instead of the internet or any other means. She closed her computer when her phone beeped and when she saw your message, she realized that almost half an hour had passed since you’d told her you were still working.

We’re leaving now.

Attached to the text was a picture of Milo jumping up from where he stood next to you. You were holding up something that must have been a treat because Milo’s mouth was wide opened and headed straight for your hand. Billie considered calling you now, but figured you shouldn’t be distracted when you drive. Instead she sent you a text.

Let me know when you’re home? I’ll tell you where we’re going tomorrow.

Billie sees that you’re typing, and once she gets an ‘ok’ in response she puts her phone down and heads upstairs. She needs to put Mickey with Bit for a while and see if he’ll nurse. She also needed a cigarette and really didn’t want to smoke around Mickey. All of the cats really, but only Mickey was ever in her pocket.

The other cats were all getting so big. They were still tiny, but they were much bigger than when she’d found them under the deck just a couple of weeks ago. All of them had opened their eyes at this point, and a lot of the time she sees them they’re trying to crawl around. She hasn’t seen that any of them leave the laundry room, but if they do, Bit herds them all back to bed so she’s none the wiser.

Once Mickey is settled with his brothers and sisters, Billie showers and is already in bed by the time you get home.

You let Milo run inside first before you head to the living room and collapse on the couch. You know that you need to eat dinner, but you’re so tired that you can’t even fathom getting up right now. You roll onto your back before digging your phone out of your pocket.

I’m home. Do I get to know where we’re going now?

Almost as if she wants to hold you in suspense, it takes Billie almost 10 minutes to respond. Little did you know she was just checking on the cats one last time before leaving them to sleep. Luckily Bit had allowed all of the kittens to stay in bed with her during the night. It was only during the day, according to Heather, that Bit tries to push Mickey out onto the floor, if not move him to a different room altogether.

She arrives back to her bedroom to see that you’ve texted her. She smiles at your question before she finally tells you where she’s made reservations for tomorrow night.

You stare at your phone before you go to Google to figure out what restaurant this is. You really need to get out more. You see that it’s literally the fanciest restaurant you’ve never been to. You look at the menu because you have to plan ahead, and your eyes widen at the prices you see next to the dishes you’re not sure you can pronounce.

You hadn’t been super stressed about this date, only moderately stressed, but this just changed that.  You had never been treated to something like this, and despite the fact that it made you feel all sorts of dizzy, you weren’t sure you deserved it. You wondered how you could put this when another text message came in as you were still staring blankly at the menu.

If you don’t want to go there, I can change the reservation.

You quickly open the text preparing to deny this, but you stop. It’s not that you don’t want to go there. Sure it’s a little intimidating and you feel like you’ll stick out like a sore thumb, but the idea of going there with Billie is a little…exhilarating. You briefly look to your closet trying to think of what you’d wear before you make your decision.

You’ve been telling yourself to go outside of your comfort zone since you’d moved here. Honestly you hated the idea of doing so, but having someone that you trust with you…You knew Billie would make sure you were comfortable. Clearly, since she was already checking in with you. Finally you sighed with a small smile. You were touched that she was being so thoughtful already and decided to take this chance. How bad could it be if Billie was with you?

Thursday night finally arrives and after spending a whole day lounging around and anticipating tonight’s date it’s finally time. Your first date with Billie. Since you plan things down to the minute, you arrived to the restaurant a little early. You were grateful since traffic had been, well L.A traffic. You honestly hadn’t lived in a big city before and you getting used to there being so much traffic all the time. You pulled into the parking lot only to be directed to the valet. Right. That happened here.

You get out of the car and sigh as the night air hits you. This is going to be fine. It will be fun damn it. It will be. You continue to tell yourself this as you make your way inside. You can’t help but look around at the predictably decorated interior. You don’t pay it much mind as you wait until the hostess is free and looks to you with a smile.

“Hi, how are you? Do you have a reservation?”

You smile as you nod and mention that you are supposed to be meeting Billie Dean Howard. She shoots you a curious look, but once you give your name she nods and leads you further into the restaurant.

You walk past a lot of people and you swear you see a celebrity or two, but you’re not here for them. You’re looking around in search of a familiar blonde when you spot her from over the hostess’s shoulder. You smile at the sight of Billie Dean sitting at a booth waiting for you.

She’s wearing another silk blouse, but this time she’s also wearing a string of pearls. You nearly run into the hostess you’re too busy staring at the medium’s hair that is styled a little differently, but luckily you stop just in time.

You wait until she turns to leave before you move to sit across from Billie. You smile as you get situated before looking to Billie again.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”

Billie taps her fingernails on the table, smiling as she watches you look to them before shaking her head.

“Not at all. I was trying to get here before you after all.”

You don’t have time to think about why this could be before Billie tells you. She’s smirking at your confused look but it soon turns flustered when she explains.

“I wanted to be able to watch you walk in.”

You couldn’t help but blush slightly at this and you shoot her a curious, teasing look.

“Well, was it worth it?”

Billie’s eyes light up, and you swear she looks impressed as she nods and shoots you a dazzling smile.

“More than. You look stunning, Y/N.”

You smile before taking a second chance to look at Billie and you blush harder when you see that her smile has turned to a smirk again.

“You too, Billie. You always look beautiful though.”

The medium scoffs and mutters something about that being nonsense. You don’t get a chance to argue with her before your waitress shows up. The tall blonde smiles at the two of you before handing each of you a menu.

“Good evening. My name’s Taylor and I’ll be your server for tonight. Can I get you started with something to drink?”

You had completely neglected to look at the drink menu, so you let Billie go first while you frantically searched through the list of drinks. You’d already decided that you were going to get something with alcohol. You were still a little tense and you knew that drinking tended to help you with this. As long as you didn’t overdo it.

So you ordered your favorite drink that wouldn’t get you more than a little tipsy before looking back across the table at Billie. You tried not to stare, but you just couldn’t believe what you saw. Part of you believed that if you closed your eyes, you’d find yourself back at your apartment realizing that this was all a dream. You weren’t sure how you got so lucky to attract the attention of someone like Billie Dean.

You were just grateful for Bit and her kittens bringing Billie to the clinic and into your life.

You’re still admiring the woman across from you when Taylor walks away. She looked back to you feeling herself want to smile again at your adoring look. She was accustomed to attracting attention. It came with the territory of being on television. She was used to people staring at her, fawning over her, and sometimes leering at her.

This wasn’t that though. You were looking at her with something that resembled awe, and that made her feel appreciated in a way she hadn’t for a long time. You weren’t with her tonight because of her money or her fame. You were after something else that Billie was quickly realizing, she was all too willing to give.

“You’re staring, sweetheart.”

You snap out of your trance and shoot Billie a shamefaced look. You mutter an apology that you don’t really mean. Well you didn’t mean to stare, but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel bad for appreciating Billie Dean. You wanted to make sure that you never stopped doing that.

“Sorry, I—I don’t have a good excuse. I’m just—I really need to thank Bit for having her kittens under your house.”

Billie laughs at this as Taylor comes back to set your drinks down. You both need a little more time to look over the menu, so the blonde leaves as you start to look for the dish you’d seen earlier today.

When you watch Billie pick up her glass of wine but not take a sip you look up from your menu with a frown. She’s smiling at you as she looks between you and your glass, and you quickly take the hint. You grab your glass too and hold it up with a grin.

“To our second date.”

Your smile disappears as your brows furrow in confusion. Billie has to stop herself from mentioning how cute it looks.

“Second?”

Billie can’t stop herself from laughing; however, as she nods in confirmation. She could practically see your internal struggle and had to ask.

“Yes, did you not count Saturday?”

You flushed at the thought of Saturday being a date, meaning that this dinner was not your first date. You shook your head before shrugging at the realization that you were just dumb. You’d been so damned stressed with first date jitters only for this to be the second date.

You were a mess sometimes.

“I just—wasn’t sure, I guess. Am now though.”

Billie smiled at you again before she clinked your glasses together and took a sip of her wine. She didn’t break eye contact with you and you took a long sip of your drink to hide how her watching you made you feel all hot and bothered.

“Good. It’s settled then.”

You just nod dumbly before returning your attention to the menu in an attempt to calm your racing heart. You found the dish that you’d been eying earlier before turning to Billie. You plan to ask her if she’s been here before when she beats you to it.

“You can, by the way.”

Now you’re really confused. You must have missed something. What had you just been talking about?

“What?”

The only response you had to what Billie Dean just said only made her smile wider. She shrugged as she opened her own menu, but didn’t really look at it. She was still watching you as she clarified her meaning.

“You can thank Bit, if you’d like. After this.”

Billie’s biting her lip to stop from laughing too loudly at how quickly your face turns red. She just can’t resist watching you flush so prettily at even the faintest suggestion. You just take a deep breath before muttering something that might be ‘dear god’ as you nod absentmindedly.

“Yeah, sure. Maybe—I mean—I haven’t seen the other kittens in forever.”

Billie Dean smiles victoriously before she decides to be merciful. She gives you a break as she changes the subject.

“Have you always wanted to be a vet?”

The abrupt change of subject surprises you despite how relieved you are. You’re not sure why you always act like such a prude around Billie. You’re not. It’s just the idea of that, doing any of that with the medium makes your head spin. If you think too much into it you might faint, so you are eager to answer Billie’s question and retreat from dangerous territory.

“No, definitely not. It wasn’t until the second year of college that I really committed to it.”  

Billie asks what influenced your decision, so you tried to explain it in the most concise way possible. You didn’t want to drone on or tell your entire life story. It’s just there wasn’t a one sentence answer to this. You’d gone from wanting to be a paleontologist to a marine biologist to a dentist (for the money), to a physical therapist before finally deciding on being a vet.

“When I was in high school, I went with my mom every weekend to visit my grandfather. I helped take care of him and everything and thought that’s what I wanted to do. It didn’t last too long though.”

You see from the way that Billie’s looking at you, that she has questions. You aren’t sure what she’s going to ask, but your waitress is back to take your orders before she gets the chance to. Billie fidgets slightly tapping her nails against the table while you order and it isn’t until you’re alone again that you consider what the cause might be.

Billie’s in the process of putting her hand back in her lap to stop herself from fidgeting when you speak up. You’re not sure you’re right, but you want to at least say this so Billie knows where you stand.

“Are you okay?”

Billie frowns in confusion not realizing that you’d caught onto her nervous tick until she sees how you’re studying her. Still she nods and tries to play it off, but you don’t let her dismiss you that easily.

“I’m fine, Y/N.”

You decide to take the risk.

“Are you sure because you look like you could use a cigarette, or at least a stronger drink. I wouldn’t mind either.”

Billie smiles wryly at this, laughing under her breath as she shakes her head. You just keep surprising her.

“Maybe, but I can only have one of those in here.”

That didn’t occur to you immediately, but a quick look around tells you that she’s probably right. You nod more to yourself than her before you take another sip of your drink.

“True.”

You sit in silence for a while before you realize that you hadn’t returned Billie’s question. You are curious to know the answer because honestly, you’re not sure what you could see Billie doing, other than her current job of course. There were so many possibilities.

“What about you? What did pre-medium Billie Dean want to do?”

Billie frowns as she considers this and you almost become worried before the medium merely shrugs her shoulders in response.

“I wanted to play tennis, but then my calling…called.”

You remember what you’d read about Billie becoming a medium at the age of 25. Then you think about 25-year-old Billie playing tennis. You’d never been a fan of the sport because you were terrible at it, but you definitely wouldn’t say no to watching Billie play.

“You played tennis?”

You’re really just asking for elaboration, but when Billie just smiles, you prompted her.

“Were you any good?”

Whether she realizes it or not, Billie Dean sits up a little straighter practically preening before she shoots you a cocky smile.

“I was unbeatable for a while.”

There are so many ways you could respond to this, but you settle on the teasing response that comes to mind first. You secretly just want to know if Billie still plays and if she’s as competitive as you think.

“You mean you’re not anymore?”

Billie sighs at the thought because she hasn’t played competitively in years. She’s been a little busy getting her career off the ground. It had been difficult for many reasons. First of all no one believed that she had this gift of speaking to the dead. She was quickly written off as nuts and proving them wrong took a lot more work than it would have if she’d been a man.

Luckily most of those struggles were behind her, and the worst she had to deal with was people asking her too personal questions because for some reason they felt like they had a right to know.

“It’s been years since I’ve played.”

You laugh before nodding in understanding. You’re going to have to find out more about Billie playing tennis later. For now, you’re going to behave and just let your imagination run wild.

“Did you play any sports?”

You try not to laugh at the fact that yes, you did, and it was not only the most stereotypically lesbian sport, but you also weren’t good at it. You definitely weren’t unbeatable like Billie. You shrug your shoulders before trying not to make 6 years of softball seem like a big deal. It wasn’t really. The team needed people and then you realized you liked it.

You ironically didn’t realize you were gay until you started crushing on someone on your team, but there was no way you were telling Billie that.

“I wasn’t that good. I just ran fast and occasionally caught things.”

Billie asked what position you’d played and you mentioned that you’d been catcher for a couple of years before you were moved to outfield. It had been a good and bad move. Good because being catcher stressed you out, but bad because your ADHD made it easier to zone out while you were standing in the outfield.

“It was mostly just running. A lot of running.”

Billie smiled at this as she considered what you’d told her recently about your dislike of running, and exercise in general.

“Did you lose your taste for it back then?”

You nod because it’s true. You definitely dislike running, but sometimes it’s the only thing that you can do to destress. Also Milo would never let you stop completely. He liked it too much. You say this and this reminds Billie of something she’s been meaning to ask. You mention your dog a lot and she feels bad that she’s never asked more about him.

“I never asked. Have you had him since he was a puppy?”

Without realizing it, you finish up your drink and sigh at the seemingly simple question. You hadn’t ever mentioned having Milo as a puppy because then you’d have to explain how you got him. Or rather from whom. However, it seemed like you weren’t going to be able to avoid talking about this anymore, so you just decided to be as honest as possible. Just without revealing too much of your baggage.

“Yeah, I actually got him from my ex. Her parents bred German Shepherds, and they said they couldn’t sell Milo because he was too small and sick.”

Billie frowned at the idea of this for a couple of reasons. She decided to focus on Milo for now because she was hopeful she would hear more about your ex later if you ever opened up to her about your past. For now, she wondered how anyone could want to abandon a puppy.

“That’s horrible.”

You just nodded because you remember how horribly your ex had put it when she’d told you. She’d been so nonchalant as if this sort of thing happened all of the time and that it was okay. That wasn’t quite the end of your relationship, but it was very close to it. Things just went downhill from that point.

“Yeah, it was. He had gotten sick and as a result became blind in one eye. They were just going to—well I’m not sure exactly what they would have done with him, but I jumped on the chance to adopt him.”

Billie smiles as you say this because she can tell just by how you talk about him that he’s your whole world. He’s your baby. Like how Mickey’s become hers.

“How long ago was this?”

You spent way too long talking about your dog and how the past two years had been for you. Your meal came while you were telling Billie the story of how Milo had gotten his head stuck in a wall and you two could barely thank Taylor you were so close to crying you were laughing so hard.

“I had left him for maybe an hour to run an errand and I come back to hear him screaming bloody murder.”

It had been terrifying to open the door and immediately hear him screaming in distress. You had honestly thought that he had hurt himself somehow despite how careful you’d been with cleaning your room.

“I thought he was dying I was so freaked out, then I see that he’s literally chewed through the wall into the hallway, but he got stuck in the second layer of drywall.”

Billie was laughing so hard she could barely choke out the only three words that came to mind. “Oh my god.”

You nod before rolling your eyes at the thought of how much damage the puppy had caused. He’d only been 5 months old at the time.

“I know. He broke a tooth and had to get stitches from thrashing. It was a mess.”

Billie’s wiping the tears from her eyes as she shakes her head in disbelief. He sounds like a handful, but she can’t wait to meet him. She says this and you smile before agreeing quickly. You know that Milo will love Billie. He honestly loves most people, but you’ve learned that he is a good judge of character.

You both took a moment to taste your food. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were, and you had to force yourself not to stuff your face. You reach for your drink, only to realize it’s empty before you just grab your water. You’re not sure you want another one yet.

“So you never did tell me what it takes.”

Your attention returns to Billie who is shooting you a questioning look. You don’t realize what she’s talking about, but your frown of confusion prompts Billie to continue.

“You said that your belief in the supernatural depends on certain things. Do you care to elaborate on that?”

Your eyes light up in realization before you smile in response. Since you’d promised Billie that you’d explain this you’d been trying to figure out how to say it in a way that didn’t sound too generic. Sure you believed in the supernatural, but did you believe that contact with spirits was as common as it is portrayed in the media? Not at all.

You take another second to get your thoughts together before you tell Billie what you think. She just listens carefully nodding every now and then as you explain your views based on your limited understanding.

“I definitely believe, but—I don’t know. There are so many different representations of the supernatural that some of it seems farfetched. I guess, I just mean that if you told me that ghosts are around us all of the time, I’d need some proof before I believe you.”

Billie’s expression stayed neutral, but she mentally cursed herself for not wording this question better. She hadn’t anticipated you saying that because now what could she say in response? She didn’t want to tell you what she’d picked up on the first time she’d met you. That would certainly freak you out, and you didn’t want to get too personal too early into…whatever you two were heading towards.

Billie didn’t dwell on this too much fully realizing that she needed to respond to what you said. She wasn’t sure if you sensed her hesitation, but she just decided to default to her flirty nature.

“I’ll have to show you how it’s done sometime then.”

The innuendo is not wasted on you because Billie sees you flush slightly before nodding in agreement. You muttered something under your breath that resembled ‘sounds good’ before taking another bite of food. You may need that second drink after all.

About an hour later, you two had finished up dinner and dessert. Billie had kept her promise and paid before you could even open your mouth to argue. She hadn’t played fair because you’d been distracted and hadn’t noticed Taylor come up to the table with the check. Still, you didn’t get a chance to pout before Billie was shooting you a questioning look. It wasn’t teasing and you were a little surprised by this given what she asked. However, you had already made up your mind just moments after she’d asked you the first time.

“So, do you want to go see the kittens?”

Of course you did. You wanted to make sure that Mickey was okay, and check up on the other kittens as well. You wanted to check on Billie’s cats. That was the only reason why you wanted to go to her house. You had no ulterior motive whatsoever.

“Let’s do it.”

Part 5

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