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dragonfly0808 · 1 year

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The Heathers Soundtrack Essay: You Only Have Yourselves to Blame for This

(I may not be wording this as well as I’d like cause I’m sick as fuck and I’m not sure I’m thinking very clearly but I’ll try to be cohesive)

Beautiful

So, Beautiful is such a good start to our story. It’s an 8 minute track but not a second of it feels unnecessary or boring. This is a perfect track not just to set the scene and the mood of Veronica’s high school and the people there, but it also does a great job at introducing almost every single important character in this musical.

For Veronica I personally get the vibe of someone who used to be, and may still want to be positive but has just been worn down by the cruelty of not ‘fitting in’ and being deemed an outcast. (As someone who was bullied for years for the stupidest reasons ever -being short and reading- I really feel every lyric from Veronica.) Veronica in this song tells us, we used to be so beautiful as children when we were innocent and we didn’t buy into steroetypes and stupid societal hierarchies, why can’t we go back to that? I am pissed that we can’t go back to that. I want to burn this place down because of all the pain I’ve been given for no real reason. At the end of the song, she seems to regain some of her hope and positivity at the chance of being one of the Heathers.

Martha feels like she’s trying to cling to her positivity. Like someone who indulges in the fantastical for some good old’ escapism (‘I’m a sucker for a happy ending’) she just gives me barely-holding-on vibes from what few lines she has here.

Kurt and Ram, I’ll only say, they’re asses and they sell it.

The moment when they’re all singing and lines overlap with each other is beautiful. Like, everyone is struggling in different ways, even if not everyone shows it.

Then… the Heathers. They’re moment in the bathroom perfectly sets each one of them up. Heather McNamara as the ‘softest’ of the Heathers and the most insecure as well as maybe a tiny bit ditzy. Her intro sets her up perfectly but also, later on we’ll see just how many layers she has.

Heather Duke, she cares ever so slightly about McNamara but is a bitch to Veronica, snapping at her for no real reason.

And of course… Heather Chandler, the icon. She’s just bitchy but in an almost classy way that I can’t really describe and I love her.

Also, quick note on the bathroom scene: I find it interesting the way the teacher, Miss Flemming speaks in this scene. Like, she’s almost giddy to have an excuse to put the Heathers in detention and very clearly doesn’t give a single flying shit about McNamara throwing up and in fact makes it a joke ‘Perhaps you didn’t hear the bell over all the vomiting-‘. That to me could be a nod to those teachers who just make high school/school in general worse than it has to be. Teachers that target specific students or that try and make themselves feel superior in weird ways. You know which ones I’m talking about.

Right now, I have a specific teacher that loves to embarrass students and it’s really fucking draining.

But yeah, Beautiful to me may be my favorite intro track to a Musical. It just works so well, I love it!

200/100

Candy Store

Do I have to say anything about this song? Come on, we all love it. It embodies the Heathers, especially Chandler perfectly. Heather Chandler is a grade A bitch. She’s unapologetic and she doesn’t really seem to have a conciense and if it is it is tied to a chair and gagged. Like, I think Heather Chandler would either never really see the error of her way (more accurately, she does know it’s wrong but she just never cares) or she gets to a point in which she realizes that she’s a bad person and tries to change for the better. But that obviously will never happen for her character so she’s stuck in this place in time/in her life when she truly did not give a single flying shit about anything or anyone. And that’s what truly allows her to shine.

Heather Chandler isn’t supposed to be a tragic character, that’s what Candy Store represents to me, she’s horrible and doesn’t care about even her closest friends. But she’s forced into being a tragic character with a sob story by Veronica and JD later in the story. And it’s this fake narrative that changes how everyone looks at her.

In the song we also see a bit of the dynamic between the Heathers. Like how Duke seems to want the spotlight but is literally shoved back by Chandler. How McNamara mostly goes along with everything but also her line ‘if she had your shot, she would leave you to rot’ gives me teeny tiny projection vibes from her.

250/100

Fight For Me

I love this song. It’s so… it’s almost corny and cheesy but in the best way possible.

I don’t have much to say other than listening to this with headphones truly just transports you to another world, you really get into it and it’s awesome.

(Though I will never forget that time it came up on shuffle during a car ride and my mom just kinda stared at me cause, the beginning is literally just ‘Holy shit’ x 20)

95/100

Freeze Your Brain

I love JD so much… his songs may be my fave…

Freeze Your Brain is just so amazing, it gives you a lot of insight not just into his character but also his mindset at the moment.

He’s just kinda given up in a way, why bother with making bonds with other people if he’s going to have to leave eventually?

He’s almost drifting through life, untethered to anything or anyone with no real purpose. At this point, he’s still a frozen lake.

He doesn’t see the point but he still doesn’t want to straight up die. So he does the best that he can to not feel the emptiness and pain inside this. ‘Happiness comes when everything numbs, who needs cocaine?’

And of course, the best line (and my fave) in the song:

‘And when the voice in your head says you’re better off dead, don’t open a vein! Freeze your brain.’ This is also the only moment in which we see his shield crack a bit, his voice changes, and we hear a tiny bit of the pain within him when he hits the high note.

200/100

Big Fun

Kurt and Ram are assholes, Veronica is way in over her head, Martha is too pure for this world, Duke is berated by Chandler and Heather Chandler is a menace to society.

What’s new?

Also, ‘There’s no alcohol in this, are you trying to poison me?’ Made me laugh way more than it should have.

And, ‘Showing up here took some guts, time to rip them out’ … Heather?! What the fuck?! She’s an absolute menace and I love it. STEP ON ME!

Just a fun song to reinforce what we already know about the characters and to exaggerate the high school experience.

90/100

Dead Girl Walking

…she’s an icon. We know her, we love her. She’s a legend.

A bop to lose one’s viriginity to (I’m Ace DO NOT take that seriously)

But in all seriousness I love this song. Veronica is just spiraling and truly decides ‘fuck it’ and goes to JD’s house.

‘So the world’s unfair keep it locked out there. In here it’s beautiful. Let’s make this beautiful’. These are two outsiders, two ‘others’ finding comfort in each other.

I think this: ‘I know it’s cause you’re beautiful, you say you’re numb inside but I can’t agree.’ Is when JD truly falls for Veronica, I think he was always attracted to her but I think this was his …oh moment.

Aside from deepening their relationship and being (in my opinion) the moment they both truly fall in love it’s just loads of fun and a bop.

250/100

The Me Inside of Me

This is when the chaos truly begins.

Veronica and JD accidentally kill Heather Chandler and now they want to make it seem like a suicide. So Veronica fakes a suicide letter.

I… love this song. Honestly more because of the… almost critisism of society than the actual song ajajjajaa

So, as I said earlier Heather Chandler isn’t really presented as a tragic or misunderstood character. But that’s exactly what she becomes when Veronica literally manipulates her narrative in the suicide note.

Now, Heather Chandler is suddenly this misunderstood girl that no one truly saw. She’s more of a concept for people to project their own pain and fears on to.

The teachers that thought she was the devil all of a sudden are saying ‘Oh, we just misjudged her. This is the loveliest suicide note I’ve ever read’.

She almost becomes a spectacle (which Heather herself seems to love ‘I’m bigger than John Lennon!’). All of a sudden everyone cares when before, everyone hated her.

Then there’s the line ‘Heather would be so proud of you!’ Which just makes me feel icky in the best way possible cause like… how the fuck would you know that? You are the one who said Heather was misjudged and never thought much of her but one read of the suicide note and you know her mindset?

Idk if I’m explaining myself all that well but let’s just say that I love how almost ironic this is and how everyone seems to see Heather as a martyr and someone to project their own feelings on to. Especially since we only really get the reactions of outsiders, not the Heathers or her parents who actually knew her and were (supposedly) close to her.

They only see her as someone who just maybe may have needed help after her death.

I just love it

200/100

Blue

This will be short. I’ll just say that this song had no right to be that fucking hilarious. You could take almost any lyric of this song out of context and it’d still be either hilarious or absolutely stump you.

Like, first time listening you’re just like… what the actual fuck is happening? Third time you’re screaming along cause you just can’t not do it.

100/100

Our Love is God

Welp, this is the start of JD’s unhinged arc…

First off we just have gorgeous, gorgeous vocals and I just die at the final high note every single time ugh!

Now. First part of the song (pre Kurt and Ram showing up) is beautiful.

It shows what we already know to be true. That deep down both Veronica and JD are incredibly vulnerable kids who just want someone to lean on. Someone to say ‘You’re not alone’, someone to understand not just the pain, but the rage that can come from years of being picked on, of being alone.

‘Are you okay?’ ‘I was alone. I was a frozen lake, but then you melted me awake see now I’m crying to.’ SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

We also get a tiny peek, a hint at what will happen later in the song from the very start ‘They made you cry. But that will end tonight. You are the only thing that’s right about this broken world. Go on and cry. But when the morning comes, we’ll burn it down and then we’ll build the world again.’ We already know that JD is depressive and maybe even suicidal. We know that he’s kinda given up on life and is just drifting through. Then he meets Veronica, who dissolves the numbness.

Of course she’s gonna be important to him and he’s going to be pissed when she’s hurt… but we don’t realize just how far JD is willing to go until later on.

Then… Kurt and Ram show up at the cemetery and what Veronica believes to be a prank… ends up being real.

She watches JD kill both of them and slowly realizes that, ‘I worship you’ ‘We’re what killed the dinosaurs, we’re the asteroid that’s overdue’ ‘they died because God said they must, the new world needed room for me and you’. Meant something a little different to JD than what it meant to her.

I think the last part of the song can be summed up by ‘And it was at this moment she knew, she fucked up.’

350/100

My Dead Gay Son

Another song more on the comedy side, I love it. Now, while Kurt and Ram also become a spectacle, this one is least about them than it is about why they supposedly died.

Are there a lot of stereotypes in this song? Yes, but it’s set in the 80’s and also it’s comedic so I pass it.

But there are also a few genuien moments that… not gonna lie get me sometimes. I really love the way that the dad’s are truly like, you know what? I don’t care that my son was gay, he should’ve been able to have a good life and that’s what I want the world to know.

Also, ‘Go forth and love each other now like our boys would’ve done’… ouch.

200/100

Seventeen

…I am just… *screams*

While my fave track changes every 5 seconds, Seventeen is probably my most listened to track. It’s just so beautiful.

From the very first lines of ‘Fine, we’re damaged. Really damaged. But that does not make us wise.’ I knew this song was gonna wreck me. And man did it wreck me.

This is just, Veronica imploring JD to not go down this dark path anymore.

This song is, I don’t want glory or a legendary life, I just want a normal life. I just want to be able to take a walk around the park and eat ice cream with you. Why can’t we have that?

I love the concept of Veronica being like, I thought my pain and trauma made me want to strike a match and set this dumb ablaze but now I realize that I just want a normal, soft life. With JD.

Also, the fact that JD doesn’t sing until the, ‘People hurt us.’ ‘Or they vanish.’ Hurts me in ways that I can’t quite explain.

And JD is really willing to try, he wants Veronica. A part of him wants revenge and pain but a part of him also wants that soft life. To be seventeen with her.

‘If you could let me in, I could be good with you’. I feel like that line sums up Veronica and JD so well and it hurts. If you could just let down your walls, show me who you are and I know that we could be so good together, that we could help each other so much. Ugh.

And then… the outro.

‘Yeah we’re damaged.’ ‘Badly damaged.’ But your love’s too good to lose. ‘Hold me tighter.’ ‘Even closer.’ ‘I’ll stay if I’m what you choose, cause you’re the one I choose’.

…Murder me right now that would hurt less.

This song is just too much!!!

400/100

Shine a Light

I think this one is a really fun song with an actual pretty good message. You know, ‘Why not shine a light on your biggest fears? If we show the ugly parts that we hide away, they turn out to be beautiful by the light of day! Shine and your scars and your flaws will look lovely because you shine, you shine a light!’

I have so much fun every single time this song plays, it’s just really upbeat and I love it.

Also, Idk why I always picture Veronica and JD just trading glances and smiles during this song and it makes me want to cry.

Also also, Pauline’s part slayed.

120/100

Lifeboat

…so… this is when Heather McNamara’s mask fully breaks and we see just how vulnerable and scared she is.

Every line of this song is just… wow. (Fun fact: My theater group back in high school was going to put on a Heathers musical despite none of us being able to sing and I was going to audition for Heather McNamara cause I really wanted to do this song but then… fucking pandemic ruined everything)

This song to me is one of the ultimate break-down-moment-song. You can truly feel Heather’s pain and panic and fear. She’s trapped in this role, has to play it to perfection or she knows that she’ll be replaced or left behind in an instant. She knows that Chandler never cared about her and would’ve had no problem kicking her to the curb. She knows that she can’t let people in without being torn down.

‘Everyone’s pushing, everyone’s fighting. Storms are approaching, there’s nowhere to hide. If I say the wrong thing, or I wear the wrong outfit, they’ll throw me right over the side!’ …I couldn’t even process this the first time I heard it.

I just love this song. In less than 2 minutes we get so much context and depth for Heather McNamara. I feel like McNamara at least to me is the most tragic character in this musical before Veronica joins the Heathers.

350/100 Will make you cry

Shine a Light (Reprise)

This song is… panic. That’s all I really have to say. This song is panic.

100/100

Kindergarten Boyfriend

This is definetely my least listened to song but I listened to it the other day and I wanted to slap myself cause like, why don’t I listen to this more often?

Along with McNamara, Martha is the other tragic character even before the story begins. (Though of course JD is THE tragic character of Heathers).

Martha is lonely and probably depressed, just really good at hiding it. Her best friend stabs her in the back to join the popular kids and she learns that her crush never liked her and was gay (or at least she believes that).

She looks back at the days before the kids learned about the ‘ideal man/woman’ before they started to care about that shit, when they were just kids. ‘Then he woke up.’ NO SWEETIE.

‘Now we’re all grown up and we know better… Certain boys are just for kindergarten. Certain girls are meant to be alone.’ Fuck me.

But yeah… this song in underrated and deserves more cause fuck is it sad.

200/100

Yo Girl

This one is just so much fun. And we get to see Chandler shine again.

‘Martha Dumptruck took a belly flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night holding a suicide note.’ Veronica horrified: ‘Oh my god is she dead?’ Mythic bitch Heather: ‘Just some broken bones! Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably’

I love Heather so much.

And Veronica sees just how much this whole situation has snowballed. She feels so bad and regrets so much.

‘You’ve earned that red scrunchie, come join Heather in hell’ have me chills.

And of course, this sets us up for another JD song…

90/100

Meant to be Yours

I think you already know what I’m going to say about this one… VERONICA open the- open the door please-

I’m getting ahead of myself…

This is when we truly get to see JD become just absolutely unhinged. He goes a little crazy… and it’s amazing, I love it.

JD has slowly descended into madness. I think he loved having control for once in his life. Having the power to control the narrative of other people’s life for, what he thinks to be for the better.

He truly believes that killing everyone in the high school will make things better. And he wants Veronica by his side to do it ‘Bring marshmallows we’ll make s’more, we can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!’

Because their love is god. Their love can change the world. And maybe it could have in another life if they’d taken very different paths. If he’d become the lawyer he teased Veronica she’d marry someday.

But that’s not what happened.

Instead JD wants to take out all the pain he’s felt and tried to keep numb for so long. And he’s going to take it out on the people that hurt Veronica and made her feel excluded for so long.

He thinks he found the cure for the both of them, what will make them both better. And he’s desperate to have her by his side once more, ‘They made you blind messed up your mind but I can set you free’ ‘Finish what we begun’ ‘I am all that you need’.

And the best… ‘You carved open my heart! Can’t just leave me to bleed- VERONICA! Open the, open the door’ … ‘Veronica, sure, you’re scared I’ve been there I can set you free! Veronica don’t make me come in there. I’m gonna count to three! One, two- Fuck it!’

And then… he thinks Veronica, the only person he can trust, the only thing that’s right about this broken world, the person that he needs to go through with his plan… is dead. And it fully shatters him.

He needed her for the plan, but now that she’s gone, he’ll still pull through.

500/100

Dead Girl Walking (Reprise)

Veronica knows that she may be in a way responsible for JD becoming unhinged. But she’s going to make things right.

But, even as she faces him down and tells him to stop… she still loves him. She doesn’t know how this night will end. But she knows that she doesn’t want a tragic ending. She wants a soft story… but that’s not what she gets…

‘I wish your mom had been a little stronger. I wish she stayed around a little longer. I wish your dad were good, I wish grownups understood. I wish we met before they convinced you life is war. I wish you’d come with me!’

But JD has made his choice, ‘I wish I had more TNT.’

And to me ‘I wish we’d met before they convinced you life is war’ is the most painful line in this song… maybe in my top 5 lines of the entire musical. To me this line is kind of like, Our what if will always haunt me.

Because truly, what would have happened then? Would they have gotten their soft epilogue? We’ll never know.

300/100

I Am Damaged

Veronica said she chose JD in Seventeen. Here… JD choses Veronica. To make sure that she is safe.

He realizes that his ideas were wrong. That they’re both damaged… that’s he’s far too damaged. But he can see that Veronica isn’t. That she could still have a soft life… a happy ending. Even if he isn’t a part of it.

So he tells her to step back, to let him try and correct at least a little of what he did.

‘Hope you miss me, wish you’d kiss me’ … ‘And once I disappear, clean up the mess down here!’

And while he sings we hear Veronica pleading in the background, ‘Not this way.’ She doesn’t want to lose him. Even after everything.

250/100

Seventeen (Reprise)

Veronica is done. She has watched enough pain and suffering at the hands of stupid ideologies. She puts her foot down. Listen to me, we are done. We’ll lay our weapons down. Because at the end of the day all of us are scared and freaks in one way or the other.

And what’s important is they stick together with the people that matter.

When Martha asks her ‘Are there any happy endings?’

Veronica doesn’t know. But she does know that right now, she just wants to be Martha’s friend. To make up for everything. She just wants to be seventeen. She wants to be a teenager.

Maybe that will be enough for now.

And then… ‘If no one loves me now, someday somebody will’ because ouch. Because it’s true. Sometimes we’re alone. But sometimes isn’t forever.

(Has nothing to do with anything but I headcannon that McNamara joins Martha and Veronica and they form their own little trio cause that line ^ is all them)

Because at the end of the day, they’re teenagers. They still have time to find love. To love and to be loved. ‘Still time to make things right. One day, we’ll change the world, but let’s kick back tonight!’

‘Act like we’re all still kids, cause this could be our final chance!’

Seventeen (Reprise) is about… we still have time. So let’s make the most of it. Let’s let go, have fun. Let’s change for the better.

Let’s make things beautiful once more.

500/100

Ooooooffff hope you liked that cause this was a lot… but it was a lot of fun!

#heathers #heathers musical #Heathers songs #heather chandler #heather duke #heather mcnamara #veronica sawyer #jd #jason dean #martha dunnstock #ram sweeney #kurt kelly #musical #musical theatre #Musical songs #Too long posts

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silverbladexyz · 4 months

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TW: Mentions of death, injuries, self-loathing. Part 2 to this. Part 3 is here.

"I can't believe you sometimes. What if you had actually been killed because of your recklessness?!"

"But I wasn't! Even if combat isn't my strong suit, I had it all under control; and besides, these wounds are nothing compared to what we've faced before!"

In the normally tranquil environment of the Port Mafia's infirmary, two voices argued back and forth. One laced with worry and anger, the other laced with guilty adamance. A pair of best friends seemed to be the reason behind this noise; with their stubbornness a guise of the true feelings that they harboured for each other.

"Are you seriously kidding me right now? Even if you had it all under control, that doesn't mean you can gamble your life away like it's nothing! How do you think everyone would feel if you died? Do you want to put them through more pain and suffering that could've been prevented if you were more cautious? Do you even care?!"

"..."

Instead of replying, you turned away, suddenly finding the window to be more interesting than whatever was going on right now.

He was right. You didn't think properly about the consequences before you jumped straight in to engage with the enemy, even if you may have had a backup plan.

"... I'm sorry."

It was soft, but Chuuya managed to catch it.

He gave a small sigh, his shoulders dropping as the tension in them wore out. You fiddled with your bandages, not having the courage to look at him in the eyes. Did you even deserve to, afterall? When you worried him sick after he learnt that he almost lost you?

You heard his footsteps approaching you, and mentally prepared for the next thing that he was going to say.

Only for him to somewhat tug you into his arms.

Your eyes widened, and you blinked several times before realising that Chuuya Nakahara, your best friend, was hugging you.

His breath fanned against your collarbone as he buried his face into your shoulder. Strong arms held you close to him, being mindful of the injuries that you sustained on your body- yet the grip they held you in was tight but secure.

"... You idiot. Don't you dare do that again."

It was the most vulnerable you had ever seen him.

You hugged him back, inhaling his rich scent as an unknown heat bloomed in your chest.

"I won't. I promise, Chuuya."

His warmth never left your memories.

Now, you watched as he stood with her, holding her hand. They were too far away for you to make out their words, but whatever she said made Chuuya laugh. A genuine, happy laugh that seemed so much more different from the short chuckles he normally gave you.

He put his arm around her shoulder, and you unconsciously hugged your body as you felt yourself getting colder. It was the third of December- the start of another winter in Yokohama. Marking the six month anniversary of their relationship.

A wry smile made it's way on your face as Chuuya pulled Yasuko in for a kiss. Even though it was a short peck, it was enough to make your heart twist in longing that exemplified whenever you were around him. It was stupid; you knew that your best friend deserved to have someone much better than the monster you were, but it didn't stop you from wishing that you were her. Someone that was a sight for sore eyes, with an aura brighter than the blue skies- someone that could get Chuuya mesmerised.

You even noticed how he became slightly more distant in the friendship. You knew that he wasn't doing it on purpose; he was still the great best friend that he always was, but the little signs were there. Holding your hand so that you wouldn't get lost in the crowd had diminished to just staying close to you. Whenever you called him on a free day to ask if he wanted to hang out with you, he would apologise, saying 'I have a date with Yasuko later'. And the fact that you had the same free days really said something about how much they meant to him.

You walked away, the sight getting too much to handle. Once you were at a safe distance, you crumpled against a wall, biting down on the inside of your mouth to stop the tears from leaking out. A higher-ranking mafioso like you, crying over some crush? Pathetic. An unfitting model for your subordinates who looked up to you as a great unflinching leader.

"Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty." You chuckled bitterly, digging your nails into your palms. You hated it- the soft gaze in Chuuya's eyes whenever Yasuko was mentioned, the way that he gently held her hand, the way he became much more sweet and patient with her that was almost nothing like how he acted around you- you hated it all. You regretted not confessing to him sooner all those years ago.

But you were only the side character in their romance; forever doomed to support them while you suffered in silence.

Was there something or somebody that you could blame for this agony that you were currently in? Destiny, perhaps? Or even Cupid? Those names only made you scoff as you stuffed your hands into your pockets.

There was nobody you could blame except for yourself.

Perhaps it would have been better if you were the one who saved Yasuko, not Chuuya. They would have never spent as much time with each other, and you'd still have a chance at romancing him. None of this would have happened if the roles were reversed at that time.

But who were you kidding? One way or another, they’d end up together by the red string of fate. The most perfect match in all of Yokohama that could put every other couple to shame. And you'd always be the third wheel- the 'best friend' whose sacrifices went unseen just so that they could be happy.

Or maybe it would have been better if Yasuko didn't exist in the first place.

"-Y/N? Y/N?"

A voice broke you out of your thoughts, and you blinked a bit before refocusing onto the girl in front of you.

"Is everything okay? N-not that you have to tell me what's wrong, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll always be here for you."

Yasuko looked at you with a concerned expression, her eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort.

Those innocent, beautiful eyes of hers that had held Chuuya captive in their gaze.

Ah, right. You were currently in the shopping mall with her, because her boyfriend had asked you to accompany her like some sort of bodyguard. And who were you to refuse, as his best friend who was always there for him? Well, you were grateful that Chuuya trusted you enough to let you near Yasuko. You had seen how protective he was of her.

"... Nothing. I'm alright."

You smiled at her, all traces of your previous emotions now gone. How could you have let your composure slip so easily? This hangout was so that you could 'get closer' with her, not reminiscing about the pathetic past that held you captive in this agonising love.

She frowned a little, but before she could say anything else, you jumped at the opportunity to distract her. Anything that could make you temporarily forget your pain for one moment was what you desperately needed now.

"Oh, looks like they're selling discounted jewellery! Let's take a look! You might find something that you like."

Grabbing her wrist, you dragged her towards the jewellery store despite having no intentions to buy anything. You simply wanted her to be distracted by the precious stones, so meticulously cut and fit into fine metal that it was laughable how they were mostly for show. A valuable trinket only made to be admired and forgotten at the end of the day, even when so much blood had been spilled over them. Blood that would forever stain the hands of a sinner such as you.

"Oh! I remember Chuuya taking me to a similiar store! He bought me a ring; I said that there was no need, but he insisted." Yasuko glanced down at the gold-and-red circlet that lay snugly around her index finger, her gaze becoming shyer as she profoundly remembered the day that her beloved boyfriend had bought it for her.

Your own silver ring that he gifted to you on your 18th birthday paled in comparison to the 5-carat Burmese ruby that sat atop her finger. It was a harsh reminder of who the buyer really preferred from between the two of you. That twisted feeling in your gut resurfaced, but you pushed it back down. You had no more frivolous hopes that he would one day realise you were the one whom he truly belonged with.

"Haha... did he now? I didn't know Chuuya was such a romantic. Did you know that rubies symbolise passionate and undying love?" You smiled as she blushed; the redness on her cheeks rivaling the shade of the precious gemstone that was proof of his commitment to her.

People were right when they said love hurts, but they never mentioned that it was the most painful sensation in the world. All the stab wounds and burns and whatnot that you had experienced from your enemies were nothing compared to a broken heart. A heart that was made to be torn apart to pieces as it weeps for the love it would never get.

Something cold brushed against your wrist, and you looked down to see a bracelet made up of the most exquisite yellow topaz. Yasuko held an identical one in her hand, her expression almost bashful as she faced you.

"I... I wanted to get matching bracelets for the two of us. I know it's only been a few months since we became friends, but being around you has really brightened up my life. I'm glad that we got to meet each other, and I hope that our friendship continues to grow and strengthen!"

She smiled at you; a smile so full of purity and beauty that it would've made many men fall onto her knees in front of her. It was a smile that didn't belong in the dark depths of Yokohama- instead, it belonged to a goddess that was too good for this world. A goddess that clearly deserved to call Nakahara Chuuya hers. Just seeing that smile made you feel infinitely more guilty about the nasty thoughts you had about her each night.

Yasuko's smile faded, worried that she might have overstepped your boundaries due to your silence.

"S-sorry... I should've asked you beforehand if you wanted to buy matching bracelets. Please don't force yourself to buy it just to make me happy-"

You shut her up by slipping it onto your right wrist, the topaz seeming to reflect the sun's golden rays back at you. Shooting her a smile, you grasped Yasuko's hand and put the other bracelet onto her left wrist joint. It fit nicely; just like anything else that she wore.

"May our friendship last until death do us part." It was a pact that you had sworn with Chuuya before. And you always kept your word, never breaking a promise to someone no matter how bizarre or extreme it was.

How unfortunate, really, that death did you apart too early.

@circinuus @riiwrites @ruanais @justcallmesakira @yasu-masashige @oldworldpoolhall @heartsfourdazai @ashthemadwriter-uwu @sariel626 @yuugen-benni @chocsra @iridescentdove

#silverbladexyz #no way did I just pull a Heather in my fic #it's a good song though #i hope this was okay #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bsd x female reader #chuuya x gn reader #chuuya x fem!reader #part 2 of unrequited love fic #yellow topaz symbolises friendship btw #unrequited love

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