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whateverisbeautiful · 4 months

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♥️ Ranking Richonne

#12: Kiss Of Life (S7E05)

Ooh it’s called the Kiss of Life for a reason. 🤩 No one does passion like Richonne. ❤️‍🔥 This marvelous scene seriously has a hold on me and features my absolute favorite Richonne kiss (thus far 😏). The moment is just so good and mesmerizes me like no other. It's legitimately hypnotic. And that’s why, even tho Rick and Michonne barely speak in this scene, it absolutely makes my top 12. And you know the kiss is good when you have multiple favorite parts of it lol...

First, it’s important to note that it’s not just the kiss that makes me adore and appreciate this scene but how extremely meaningful this exchange is based on where Rick and Michonne are at during this part of the story.

This was one of the hardest and most depressing seasons for them as they wrestled with losing people they loved and then being expected to be Negan’s servants indefinitely.

And during this Negan era, it’s one of the rare times when Rick and Michonne are on notably different pages about how to approach the situation. And while Michonne told Rick she’d try to accept this way of "life," it’s clearly eating away at her to just sit and let Negan torment her family.

It’s eating away at Rick too, but with the love he has for tf, and especially for Michonne and his children, at this stage in the show he really feels like he’d rather suffer like this with them than fight and lose them.

This was such a tough time for them, and yet Rick and Michonne's love so heartily prevails with this special kiss. It's the definition of true love's kiss, if you ask me. 🤩

So first, I always feel for Rick at the top of 7.05 when he’s talking to Carl, who is understandably frustrated and behaving coldly to his dad. All Rick wants is for his family to be okay, and they’re so clearly not okay right now, which you know weighs on him.

And I’m not the only one who feels for him because Michonne is of course also in the room for this Grimes family moment, and she seems to be really empathizing with Rick as well.

So then Rick and Aaron walk out of the room, and Michonne follows and, again, shoutout Aaron for leaving to give Rick and Michonne a private moment lol. Cuz the moment was perfection. 😍 Like for real tens across the board...

Rick and Michonne stand in front of each other, and Rick invites her to join them if she changes her mind. I love that he always wants her with him.

I remember even watching live, I could tell that Michonne wanted to go with him too, cuz magnets don’t part. But she’s of the mindset that she has to try and go out on her own to fight this for the both of them if he’s not ready to fight back yet.

Michonne quietly and compassionately says, "good luck" and even tho Rick is clearly sad and knows this could be a moment of distancing, he still wants to close the gap and at least hug her goodbye, which I appreciate. 🥰

So he goes in for this hug, and whenever I think back to when I first watched this scene live, I just smile because I remember how excited I was that Rick was simply going to hug Michonne and maybe kiss her on the cheek or whatever it looked like he was about to do. But little did I know we were in for something...

Because as he goes in for this cute husband-off-to-work hug, Michonne stops him by gently placing her hand on his face. And I will forever love the choreography of this whole moment.

I love that it’s this moment of Michonne redirecting to let Rick know she wants to send him off right and make it crystal clear to him that even tho they’re going different ways right now, she is not upset with him, disappointed in him, or pulling away from him.

So she warmly takes his face, and then there's this subtle moment where Rick does that signature Rick Grimes head tilt in her hands as he tries to assess what this moment is about.

You can see a heartbreaking split second of Rick seemingly wondering if this is her literally and figuratively pushing him away. And what most pains me is knowing Rick thinks he deserves whatever disappointment or distance Michonne might potentially feel toward him. 😭

His past relationship saw his former wife push him away during a very vulnerable time after he had to kill his best friend for trying to kill him, so it's like he's briefly expecting something like that again.

But one thing that wonderful woman Michonne is always going to do is let Rick know, this is different. 🙌🏽

It's the very thing Rick told Carl the literal morning after he and Michonne first got together - where homeboy didn't even want to wait a few hours before reassuring his son that he and Michonne are gonna be long-term. (which I always am just fully amused by that whole 6.11 scene btw. from rick lowkey forgetting he's talking to his son by emphasizing, "it just happened," carl's reaction to seeing his dad in a tizzy, and judith's 'office' look in the camera. gold 😂. michonne's fam is the cutest, y'all)

And "this is different" has remained an accurate way to describe the elevated love Richonne has with each other.

Because see, now Rick isn't with a love in his life, he's with the love of his life. He's with the one (& only 👑). This is his unequivocal soulmate who will be by his side through any and everything. And I love that Michonne always manages to show Rick that he's met his match in a way he's never experienced before.

So thankfully Rick doesn’t have to ponder what this moment is about for long because Michonne quells any and all of those fears when she proceeds to kiss him with passion in an abundance. It’s utterly perfect. 😍😍😍

No words needed, and she still manages to say everything. I still love you. I still crave you. And I’m still with you was expressed loud and clear. 👏🏽

And Michonne really is such a commendable queen for doing this and making sure no wedge was created between her and her husband. This kiss really made any distance they had prior disappear, and it so beautifully let Rick know he is still cherished and appreciated by his wife.

He needed this moment more than he could probably even express. But of course, without even having to say it, Michonne knew this was needed because she always knows her man. 😊

This moment also feels like something she's been wanting to do since that fateful and scary night in the line-up where there were several times she could've lost him.

Like you know the fact that Rick is still with her and they're still alive, is something she's grateful for and doesn't take for granted. So she needed this moment too. And this kiss lets everyone know that while Negan may have nearly broken their spirits, he can never break their love.

The level of passion in this kiss is great for many reasons, but especially because you know after the lineup Rick and Michonne are now both so much more aware of how quickly things can go fatally wrong and how whenever you leave home and part ways you really could not make it back home to each other. It makes me think about how Glenn left ASZ just to quickly retrieve Daryl, but then he never returned to their home again. 😢

So as Rick prepares to go off on this run with Aaron, he and Michonne really kiss like it could be their last because that's an unfortunate possibility. (even though not too much of a possibility since they're the ones who live, amen. 😌)

And then my absolute favorite part of this kiss is when Rick so clearly gets fully immersed in this moment with Michonne and pulls her closer to him. I freaking LOVE that little gesture of him pulling her into him. 😍 It felt like it was Rick's turn to also let Michonne know - I still love you. I still crave you. I’m still with you.

Rick and Michonne just fit so perfectly together and I love the way they can always get lost in each other. Truly, in that moment for them, it felt like they were the only two in the world and all the other stuff didn’t matter. Their ability to be so present with each other is so special. 🥹

And she was already so close to him but the fact that he pulled her even closer...Magnets. And then whoever pointed out that Michonne kisses his top and bottom lip is a real one because I never noticed it before, but now it’s my other favorite part of this moment. 😋

They were really wild for this whole kiss, y'all. It feels great to be so spoiled. And we're Blessed with a capital B that this ship is literally everything we could dream of. 😌

This kiss is of course steamy and heavenly, but also it is just so powerful. For Rick and Michonne to be going through what they’re going through and feeling so differently about their current circumstances, it is so powerful that they close the gap rather than widen it. That they express authentic love for each other more than opposition.

This moment solidified that Richonne has what it takes to rise above anything and that even when they have entirely different opinions on a subject as big and serious as how to approach fighting for their lives and their people, they will still always be with each other. Wholly, Deeply, & Forever.

Again, I so appreciate that Richonne always chooses each other. And also this kiss was only our second time seeing them kiss like this since their canon ep, and man did they deliver. Like...

I’ve always felt that something so special about Richonne is that they are not like some TV couples who are more interesting in their pre-canon "Will They/Won't They" phase, and then when they finally do get together it doesn’t quite live up to all the steamy passion of their build-up.

With Rick and Michonne it’s a whole different story cuz moments like this kiss let us know that all that steamy passion and build-up was not only matched but topped when they were finally able to express the love they felt romantically.

Also, when they lost Carl the following season, it was this kiss of life in s7 that I’d think about because I believe this is an illustration of what Michonne and Rick ultimately land on even amidst the toughest adversity. They land on love, which has proven true time and time again.

And as always their moments after the kiss are also profoundly passionate as they look into each other's eyes and then do their signature thing of leaning their heads against each other, truly almost as if finding their center with each other.

I love that they stay in this moment awhile, again with no words necessary to communicate how much they love and are with each other.

They are the epitome of soulmates, and the way their love shined through in this quiet moment made that clear.

And then I love that Rick can’t help but express gratitude to Michonne for giving him his entire life with that kiss, so he fittingly says what he always finds a way to say to her, "thank you." The absolute cutest. 😊 You know Rick ain't been kissed like that ever before lol. Michonne has that man forever entranced, and I love to see it.

And the thing is, Rick has a special effect on Michonne too, cuz you can clearly see it in the way she looks at him as well.

In one kiss Michonne and Rick were able to breathe life into each other and quiet all the worry of them being on the rocks. They might still have big differences at this point, but nothing will ever be strong enough to divide them.

(that's why when I hear lines like say, "we are the strongest military on the planet" or "we're the last light of the world," or whatever, my only thought is - and yet you're still no match for Richonne. 💅🏽 Rick and Michonne Grimes prove they're the ones who live and the ones whose love is unstoppable every time. 👌🏽)

So it was a big deal for Richonne to have this moment in 7A. I appreciate that Michonne knew her man needed to be lifted up and reminded just who he is to her, and she did just that like only she can. And as the kiss went on, Rick let her know he felt just as strongly about her.

This important kiss shows that Rick and Michonne’s love is unbreakable, and I treasure this scene as such an undeniably powerful moment between them. I love their love, and I will adore this Kiss of Life for life. 😌

#richonne #top 30 #number 12 #rick x michonne #twd 7.05 #reveling in richonne #twd towl #the ones who live

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harmoonix · 1 year

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Universal - Love Astro Notes 💌

┗━━━━ • ✿ • ━━━━┛

🎵A little less conversation and a little more touch my body 🎵

🎵 Cause I'm so into you, into you, into you🎵

💌-💌-💌-💌-💌--💌-💌-💌-💌-💌-💌-💌-💌-

♥️ Venus in Scorpio natives love very deep and a lot, these people feel very intense the things and not always have luck in love (Venus is in detriment in Scorpio) and their love life might not always might be the best but they hope one day they can find the love of their love (You can feel thus energy if you have Venus in the 8th house or Venus at Scorpio Degrees 8°, 20°. )

♥️ If your partner has their moon sign the same sign as your south node that can mean you had some past life connections i know this since it was a subject on Reddit long time ago , example: If your boyfriend has a Cancer Moon and you have Cancer South node, you might have some past life together. And this can go vice versa: You can have Aries Moon and your boyfriend has a Aries South Node 💌😍

♥️ 18+ Mars in Fire Signs might have a thing hugging and kissing while making rough eye contact 👀 I'm looking at you Mars in Aries ♈🐏 also boys with those placements love to slap their partner's🍑

♥️ Having Moon in the 7th house can make you craving for having a partner and also applies to Libra Moons because they really need Partnerships in this life and need to make connections and feel love, they crave for having a good healthy relationship and feel loved for real, they just want someone to love for their lives ( I'm with you in this and i know how does it feel besties we are strong ♥️)

♥️ Pluto - Venus aspects but mostly conjunction because it feels the most intense: they crave for feeling deep love and to feel loved and to finally feel that they are loved for real and not only for words, they want to give love and be hugged 24/7

♥️ Moon/Venus In Earth Signs take relationships very seriously ans valuable so they might take break-ups very hard because of this thing and because they love deep, i want to tell you that everything happens for a reason and with a reason remember to trust your intuition since Earth Moon's intuition is insane, lots of love for you earth angels 😇♥️

♥️ Moon in Water Signs is a indicator that your love is very deep and sensual but in the same time it can hit people like a tsunami if they try to hurt you and your feelings. Your heart calm waves can transform very fast into a tsunami and destroying everything.

♥️ Venus in Gemini are those type of people who have a very pleasant voice, their voice might be actually unforgettable and you can get stucked in your head 😂❤️

♥️ Ascendant at 4°, 16°, 28° degrees can make the native fall very easy in love and being blinded by love sometimes. If they fall in love they can think that person can be their soulmate but is not always like that, they can just be blinded by love and not see the real things

♥️ Venus at 1°,13°,25° degrees makes the native very charming and soooo beautiful, those people can have such beautiful face features, in love they can be very admired by their partners

♥️ Venus at 11° and 23° degrees can met their spouse/future partners on social media/internet, is very often to met new people on internet with those degrees. It can also mean that you and your specific person can work both in technology related jobs and to met there!❤️❤️

♥️ Ascendant at 6°/18° degrees can struggle with feeling love and they can be critical over love topics sometimes, since is a Virgo Degree these people are natural sensualist humans and they can actually have attractive features who might make a lot of people interested in them but they can just be very critical sometimes about it 😭

♥️ Natives with Venus in Earth Signs/Venus in the 2nd/6th/10th houses can have gifting as their love language, their love to buy things for others and to make them happy. They love and seek for luxury things and they are very sweet and romantic 🥹♥️

♥️Natives with Venus in the 4th and 10th houses want to have the traditional type of relationship, like the couple having fun together and making memories together while enjoying their life at the fullest ♥️

♥️Natives with Moon in the 4th/8th/12th houses or Moon in Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces are those type of people who love to make memories together and keep them very special in their heart, they can be extremely sensitive going back and remembering things from their past 🥹♥️

♥️Sun - Venus aspects/Parallels including/ tend to be very lovely and warm people...With a big BIG BIG HEART omg o just wanna hug them they deserve the biggest hug ever for their warm energy 🌺, they are so nice and so generous is unbelievable sometimes

♥️ Why are Gemini and Libra placements so flirty like hold on cuz you make blush 🫣 like they really know how to make someone feel appreciated and good 🫣

♥️Venus in Pisces/Venus at 12°, 24° degrees are likely to make a soul bounding with their partners because of their attachment, they can be too attached and this can bound them to their partners ♥️🫣

♥️Libra Venus/Libra Placements/Libra Moon hold the power to have kinks for choking and spanking because they are so clingy and romantic in the same time like in the next second you say "Are you gonna spank me now or what😭"

♥️Natives/Men with Leo Venus/Cap Venus are the gentlemen of the zodiac like hands down they are the protectors of their families and partners, they have respect for everyone, they radiate boss/daddy energy is just 🫣🫣🫣🫣♥️

♥️ Scorpio Placements/Venus - Pluto aspects just tend to fall in love with people who hurt them 😭 most times they will end or ended with someone toxic for them and someone who is manipulating

♥️Water placements are likely going for heart over mind due to their feelings and emotions they have for people. Because they tend to love very intense and them being very sacrificing even in love relationships it can be hard for them to choose whether to think with their heart or their mind ♥️

♥️Venus in the 1st/3rd houses can have very delicate and gracious voices 😵, their voice is really stunning and these natives can possess talents related to singing 🎤👄

♥️Venus/Jupiter in the 4th house can give you a very lovely partner who is very protective and intuitive, someone who loves being around you and helping you when you need it (Tho i think having those Planets in the 4th house is very cute) omg forgot to mention in women charts Jupiter can show your husband if you have Jupiter in 4th house there is a chance to have someone you know from long ago to be your partner/spouse even someone from your childhood 🙌🏼♥️

♥️Pluto/Mars - Venus aspects the definition of "down and dirty" they literally embody this thing so much, very intense, very deep, very lovely and possessiveness vibes going on there 👑

♥️ Jupiter/Venus in the 9th house can be so beneficial for a marriage/relationship they are really strong in a vedic chart, beside meeting your partner in foreign places, this house can also give you the partner who is always looking for fun and adventures with you, because the 9th house is also the house of God, the God can protect your relationship/marriage and make it to be like "happy ending" 👑🌺

♥️Even if Venus repsents the wife in a man's chart, this planet can also represent your love life in general aswell no matter what gender you have, Venus still influences your love life in the house and sign is in🌺♥️

♥️ Juno [3] making an harmonious aspect with the Midheaven means that the public can see you as a very lovely couple and as a couple who is very love giving to eachother, you can attract others attentions very fast with you spouse and also your spouse can be very influential in your career/job

♥️Juno [3] aspects Neptune/Juno in 12th house you relationship/marriage can be that deep that you 2 will be very bounded with the spirituality and both being very intuitive, 2 sensbile souls trying to love eachother in a world where love gets faded away because the world can be very cruel/evil/bad. Your spouse can be very intuitive and spiritual

♥️ Neptune/Uranus in the 12th house can give prophetic dreams and can dream about their spouses and partners, of course this happens with the time but if you seek for a partner, then you can end up dreaming about them or receiving signs that they are close to you even if you 2 didn't even met (angels numbers, colors, texts, etc)

♥️🌹♥️🌹♥️🌹♥️🌹♥️🌹♥️🌹♥️🌹♥️🌹♥️🌹

Hello queens and kings ♥️🌺👑 todayyy is a new day and that means a new post coming for you 😍🥰 it was such a long post to make that i couldn't add anymore gifs 😭 this post was kind of unusual because it doesn't have a specific aesthetic just lovely couples photos and gifs. I hope you like this new aesthetic content 😍👑. And i also hope you all will have a good start of the week and many blessings and happy things to come in your way ♥️🥰

"You don't have to seek love in other people, search deep into your heart and learn to love yourself and to treat you right, you are not just a human, you are a source of life and the creation of love, you are brave, confident, powerful and beautiful, never forget that🌺♥️🌺

Harmoonix 💋

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personwhowrites · 1 year

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Okay hear me out, platonic reader w/141 team! Reader accidentally calls Price a Karen in a briefing but no one gets it except the reader and Gaz? (Gaz is obviously gen z) Once finding out what it means, Price makes them run laps?

Keep up the amazing writing!! ♥️

Thank you so much for the support! It means a lot to me! Lots of love - E <3

“Now that you all are here finally.” Price says laying down a file. “We need to discuss your guys behavior the past couple months.”

“..Which is good or bad?” Soap asks looking at the thick folder. “It don’t look good..”

“Exactly.” Price responds making you and Gaz look over. “You all have been out of line.”

“How out of line?” You ask crossing your arms. “We all just been ourselves.”

“Starters, Ghost.” He says grabbing one paper out of the file. “He threw a rookie against the wall, because.. they complimented him..”

“Self defense.” Ghost responds from the corner of room.

“From what? Self defense on what term.” Price says shaking his head and looking over. “Ghost.”

“Love.” He hisses at Price. “I don’t want rookies near me. I told you about that yet you set me there.”

“..Okay you did warn me about it.. but uh okay what about you almost killing soap in sparring.?” Price says looking at Soap. “Seriously how are you still alive.”

“Luck..really needed.. luck..” Soap mumbles looking at his arm. Scars from the sparring. “..Jesus how I’m I still alive..”

“You only die when I tell you to Johnny.” Ghost says now walking over to the table. “I’m not the main problem here.”

“You really aren’t, but your the most dangerous one out of all us combined.” Price responds as Ghost sits next to Soap.

“I’m the dangerous one? Have you seen Y/n when she’s mad?” Ghost says shooting you a look. “She threw Gaz against a damn pole.”

“In my defense he was annoying me.” You respond quickly and look at Gaz. “Isn’t that right?”

“I wasn’t! I just asked you what’s wrong!” Gaz says shaking his head. “But I have to admit, your strong for your size.”

“Enough.” Price days grabbing multiple papers from the file. “Soap you snuck in liquor into the base multiple times. Each time you got caught.”

“…and?” Soap says confused. “I do it every weekend.”

“That’s not the problem, you snuck in multiple stuff form your home, bars and other places into the base!” Price says shaking his head. “You failed to get it inside and refused to let someone take it from you!”

“It’s my stuff!” Soap responds angrily. “No one touches my shit”

“You tell him off soap!” You say with a laugh. “Get it! Period.”

Gaz gives out a laugh and coughs as Price looks at him. You sigh as Price goes on with the behavior issues the past month. Your mind dozed off and Gaz elbows you.

“Hey.. look..” Gaz whispers pulling up his phone with a slice of bread falling over.

You give a small chuckle making Price walk over and take the phone. Gaz tries to grab it back, but price throws it against the wall.

“Hey! What the fuck price!” Gaz yells making Price shoot you and him a look. “..never mind…”

“This is what I mean about behavior issues!” Price yells setting the papers down on the table. “Jesus Christ your worse than the waitresses at IHOP.”

“Your such a Karen..” You mumble making price immediately look over at you. “Shit.”

“I’m a what?” Price says angrily, soap and ghost look over at you confused as Gaz covers his mouth holding in a laugh. “You know what.. just get out all of you.”

“Sweet!” You say getting out your seat and rushing out the briefing room.

Gaz and the other two follow. Price takes his phone out and sighs. Then he calls Laswell.

“Laswell…what’s a Karen?” Price asks confused as a chuckle is heard from the other end.

—

Your playing cards with Gaz as Price storms into the room holding a paper. Slamming it in front of you and Gaz.

“I’m not a Karen.” He says making you quickly turn your head to him. “Laps now.”

You turn back to the paper and see it’s the definition of a Karen. You starts laughing as Gaz grabs the paper and stares at it.

“You printed out the definition? Instead of using your phone..” Gaz says holding in his own laugh. “Price what the f—“

“Laps. Now or I’ll make you all do it.” Price says angrily.

“Hey! What do we have to do with this.” Soap says holding a beer bottle. “Fuck.”

“That’s it! All of you laps! I don’t care that’s is raining.” Price says grabbing you and Gaz by the arm. “Now!”

You all make your way outside. Oh it wasn’t raining, it was fucking storming, wind and all. You groan and turn back to price, his face slightly red.

“Come on!” You say looking at him. “You can’t be serious.”

“Your right.” Price responds with a sigh then looks at the others.

“Thank y—“ You say before Price interrupts you.

“Y/n run their laps, plus yours.” Price says looking now at you serious. “..Now.”

You stare at him and groan, stepping out to the track. You starts running, rain, wind and leaves going into your face. Price laughs seeing you struggle against Mother Nature. You pass him and he gives you a smile.

“I’m such a Karen for this aren’t I?” Price says in a mocking tone.

#simon ghost riley #cod fandom #cod #cod mwii #cod fanfic #john soap mactavish #captain price #john price #ghost #soap #kyle gaz garrick #Gaz #funny?#cod mw22 #cod mw 2022 #cod mw2

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justwritedreams · 1 year

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How Sehun acts when hes in love ♥️

I love just imagining it 😭

Sehun gives me the image of someone who speaks more with gestures than words.

Like, I don't think he needs to say I love you every day and every time

But if he has to give the world for you, he will.

In the beginning, when he didn't even realize what he felt, he would be that guy full of sarcastic jokes

i love his humor but that would end up making him seem a little distant, even cold

but when he realized he's actually in love he would be like

OH DAMN

And he would end up being a little more relaxed, you know?

Doing things without expecting anything in return

Just because he wants to

Worrying and being interested in things that seem small

Like, have you eaten yet? what did you eat?

and if you didn't eat, jeez man, the speech would be ready by now

if you want to live on air alone, you should have told me earlier.

I don't know if you deserve me to buy you some food, but since I'm worried that you're going to faint, I'm going to make these efforts

because as he himself said, food is more delicious when it's paid by someone else's money 🤣🤣

And I'm sure he would remember every detail of every conversation.

after all, he remembers that the members didn't say happy birthday to him for 11 minutes so I'm sorry to say, this guy has all the necessary information

you said you would do it!

when did i say that?

it was September 12th, around 4 pm, do you want me to tell you the weather of that day too?

And let's not forget the best part, or maybe the worst depends on your point of view

he is such drama queen

if you just forget something he told you, pout

if you don't give him a kiss or hug as soon as you see him, pout and he'll throw himself on the floor

if you talk like he's a baby, which he is but let's pretend he's not, pout

and good luck to you if he wasn't your bias and he somehow ends up finding out if you didn't tell him before

because he will!

and he will be your bias

whether you like it or not 🤣🤣🤣

but seriously now

I think he's the type you can always count on

did you have a nightmare at dawn? you can call him

Are you going through a difficult time in life? he will be there, if only to offer a shoulder to cry on

even if he doesn't like to see you cry

but he will hold steady enough to give you confidence

come on, wipe your tears. crying too much makes your face puffy

his humor will be the outlet in times like this and thank God for that!

oh yeah and i'm pretty sure he would be clingy

Like pretty much

cuddling with just his arms when you're lying in bed or on the couch isn't enough

then he will hug with his legs too

the tighter the better

but he will be the cutest clingy guy when you guys are alone

because when he is public he will be the most reserved guy

hold your hand in public? only if it's under the table

and it's not even because he's ashamed of your relationship

but because he wants to protect your image and his

After all, he has a reputation to uphold 🤣🤣

not that it will make any difference to the members because they will make fun of him anyway

sehun will be looking at you like that 😍🥺☺️

and the members will be like

look at him all in love

and well, it's not even like he could deny it

because it's the truth

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falmerbrook · 4 months

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Re: your post about younger you being disappointed in your art now. I’m a bit older than you, and I used to let thoughts like that bring me to tears.

I didn’t start seriously working on my art until I was 19. Seeing people my age put out what I considered to be masterpieces was soul crushing. I felt like I started too late, with art and everything else in life.

But the thing is, I still did art. It’s been a decade or more now and I still make art. I have a degree in Art History. I can competently make gifts, drawings of my OCs. I can go to galleries and take inspiration from what I see. But I’m still not producing pieces on the level of the teenagers I compared myself to in the beginning. Maybe I never will.

Younger me might be disappointed in my art now, or my life in general. But I think about it very differently. When we’re young, we don’t understand how hard things are. Time is very abstract - the idea of hundreds of hours of practice, life throwing curveballs (illness, work, lack of motivation), the fact that there will always be someone younger and better than you. Kids and teenagers can’t really understand it. Because they haven’t lived enough yet.

Younger you might be disappointed, but younger you is naive and arrogant. They have the toxic and immature mindset of “You should be good at something right away, and if you’re not, you’re a failure!”

Instead of feeling upset, feel compassion towards your younger self - your inner child. They are putting so much pressure on themselves, and on you. They don’t understand how long it takes to learn skills, they can’t accept the unfairness that some people are prodigies whose parents have had them tutored since birth to draw like Da Vinci.

The older you get, the more you’ll be at peace with your practice and you won’t compare yourself to others so harshly. Younger you is stuck at a set point in development - they can’t come to peace with it. Don’t let it upset you, use it as a chance to reflect on how much you’ve matured since then.

When it comes to art, all you can do is embrace the practice. Your art is yours, it should feed your soul. Best of luck ♥️

It means a lot to me that you took the time to leave such a thoughtful ask about that little post I made. And you honestly hit the nail on the head. No matter how bad I feel about it, I'll probably never stop making art (in some form) just because it's like a stabilizing force in my life. I cycle between being happy with where I am at with it (even if it isn't to my expectations) and hating it, but I think that's just a normal part of improving, so it least it means I am, even if nonlinearly.

#this made me tear up tbh thats why i took so long to answer it #mine #ask #related: i saw people talking about pewdie/pie's new video and it made me have the most conflicting inner back and forth between feeling #like a failure and being super inspired #i think ive come out more inspired though since ive been relfecting on this ask for a few days #my brain has just been REALLY scrambled for like two weeks #which is why ive been reblogging/posting less too #my hands kinda throw a wrench in everything but what can you do

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shiftinglover · 1 year

Note

I know nothing about DC, but wanna try shifting there, anything I should know that you can tell me as heads up so I don't make a stupid mistake or anything to avoid in particular?

There are so many things I could say for this one.

First of all, my universe and that one you’re going to may be different and thus have different problems, people, events, etc. so, while some of this advice might be great for my universe, but I hope it also works for you as well.

Mentally recognize/script/or have a job that you make FANTASTIC wage/money at. Or that you’ve been building up your savings since you were a child. Money is great to have and not to worry about.

Also, mentally recognize that you might have healing abilities, great mental/physical support system, and etc. this will severely help you. Even if you’re not a vigilante or whatever you want in your desired reality. It’s great to have. Maybe make sure that you have been studying various languages, practical knowledge (like how to undo knots, etc), have some self defense training, and have some common sense since you were a child in your DR. Having a great mental and physical support system will literally do you wonders, trust me. Maybe recognize that you have a dependable therapist and friends/family for your emotional and mental health. It sounds foolish but seriously, it will help. Especially if you’re planning to be a hero/vigilante or something. Or not. Whatever you do imma support you. ♥️

Please, please, please do not make the League of Assass*ns as one of your enemies unless you can’t avoid it. Or Deathstroke. 😭💀

If you are a superhero/vigilante/whatever, have multiple suits. At least two.

I know it’s tempting but don’t start a semi-serious prank war with Tim Drake. Save yourself.

Remember that people in different universe will act different. Bruce Wayne is not going to look, act, be exactly like how ours is in this universe. You may have an idea of your relationship with them or how they act already, and that’s awesome! Just keep in mind that they might not be exactly how they’re portrayed in this universe via movies, shows, comic books, and so on. It doesn’t mean that they’re terrible or anything but that they are still people. Just like how we are in this universe, they are people too.

Cities sometimes literally stink. So yeah. Just a heads up. Especially Gotham. The Batfamily (if you ever deal with them) are usually always at war/sibiling fighting with one another. But unless you grew up with them or have very strong ties, they are all very weary of others. So are the Superfam and the Arrowfam. <- they’re not always kind of fighting with one another but they’re cautious of outsiders. After all the things they’ve all been through, it’s understandable.

Do NOT go to any of the Robins/former Robins for relationship advice. Ever. Go to Lois Lane instead.

Prepare for a lot of exercising and training. There’s no way around it. 😭 I’m sorry- good luck bestie.

Most importantly: make mistakes.

It’s how people learn. It’s okay. It’s how we grow. There is nothing wrong with making a mistake. You are allowed to. I made tons and will probably continuing doing so. There’s nothing wrong about that, it’s just how we grow. You got this. Hope this helps.

♥️ Have fun shifting! ♥️

#reality shifting #shifting #shifting to dc universe #dc universe #shifting to marvel #shifting to desired reality #shifting to my dr #shifting realities

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inou-ie · 2 months

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heyy inou, im so happy to hear this 🥹♥️ Of course I'm here for you, I hope we can be good friends one day!!

Feel free to talk with me about anything, I'm a big talker and a nice listener too, so I'd love to spend time with you one day whenever you need. Good luck with your exams and your work, I'm sure you'll succeed.

I'm with you inou, take good care of yourself!

we're already friends! the moment you interacted with me, you became my friend already. 😉👍🏻

big talker and nice listener? i don't have any of that so i hope you're fine with me... i'm seriously not good at communicating so save yourself.

thankfully, i finished my exams today so my mind can rest for a moment. i hope you're doing fine and taking good care of yourself though! you deserve nothing but the best.

#inou inbox

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dam-peace · 4 months

Note

Apologies for my very long rant. I have alot to say unfortunately.

So I just read the new teasers for both V.V and A.B.O and holy smokes were they good. I loved your writing before don't get me wrong. It took me by surprise and God's was it very... descriptive lol but I loved it!! And I still do.

I tried every variation of the replies MC could've given and they are all so unique personality wise that I know you put so much work into it. Some dialog made me legit 🤭 I loved how humorous and also deadpan it can be.

Also thank you for adding more available for all gender ROs to V.V not that it's a criticism for A.B.O just as someone that usually romances as a MLM it's just super awkward even fictionally to romance a female RO when you simply just can't relate? When you are romancing the opposite gender. I hope that makes sense. And then on A.B.O I appreciate the secret RO then being a MLM romancer only. Tho with my luck it's gonna end up being a villain 🤣

What else was there... oh when it comes to A.B.O am I right in saying Hex and ghost aren't romancable character? They didn't have any MC romance related info in their details.

Lastly I know this has been a long time in the making and honestly you are a very talented writer. I hope you do realize that when things get a bit much writing wise. I cannot wait to read the demo when you release it and I truly hope you get so much more recognition because your work speaks for itself. You havw a major fan in me. 😇

Have a good evening/ whatever time of the day you end up reading this. ♥️

First of all your "rambling" was incredibly sweet and certainly brought a smile to my face. So please don't apologise and thank you so much for your kind words, it just warms my little heart🥹🩷

Also, I'm happy that I was able to broaden my horizons and give players more access to each RO. And in your case that would be MLM RO's so I'm incredibly happy about that, representation is a really big thing for me. And I'd hate to leave certain groups out of the whole gaming process if I can help it. (Also, the secret M RO couldn't possibly be a villain 😂.....or could be? 😳🫢👀)

And yes you're correct, Hex and Ghost are not RO's they were never designed with that in mind. Which will become evident later on, when it's shown in game that Hex is actually 14 and Ghost is 13. Whilst the MC is 16, as well as the other RO's. Apart from Zero and Viper who are 17, so that's a definite no.

And once again, thank you SO much for sending this message in. Like seriously I almost teared up reading this and I'm very much not a crier. Things have been piling on top of me lately, so it's really nice to have words of encouragement every now and then.

Thank you so much for enjoying my work, for your continued support and just simply by taking notice of a little writer like me. Love you, and have a GREAT day/evening 🩷🩷🩷

#🩷🩷🩷#I'm going to ugly cry #Reader Contribution

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werebutch · 9 months

Note

Disregard this if it’s too personal, but how did you figure out you had bpd? I suspect I may have it but my symptoms are a bit atypical from how it’s usually presented so idk how to go about getting diagnosed or getting therapy

I have no idea, to be honest I just read articles and take tests online and talk with people who are professionally diagnosed but I take all that with a grain of salt. I’m not absolutely sure that I have it, and I’ll never be unless a professional diagnoses me. Personally I don’t like to self dx myself. My rejection sensitivity is very high but that could also just be something else. Back when I had a fp, I was very sure I had bpd or bipolar because my symptoms were so crazy. Seriously crazy. But since I don’t have a fp anymore (although I still have an unusual amount of bitterness and curiousity towards her, at least imo. Not sure if it’s related) obviously a lot of those are pretty minuscule now. Minuscule as in I’m not having full sobbing breakdowns multiple times a week over someone, having very dramatic ups and downs, not AS much black and white thinking, etc. I’ve often gone back and forth between thinking it’s bipolar and borderline, but at this point it doesn’t really matter much to me because I’m so familiar with my symptoms, triggers, coping mechanisms, etc etc. to be honest, all that really matters to me is that I very much relate to what I see and hear about bpd. I don’t think I’ll ever pursue a professional diagnosis just because it’s not going to do much for me... It’s not like they have medication for it lol.

But that’s just me. I would say do all the research you can, but don’t fall prey to this new kind of content telling you you have every disorder under the sun because you think a certain way. You know what I mean? Talk to people actually diagnosed too. That’s pretty much it :> if you really want to know, you could probably call a psych office and ask about personality disorder tests or something. Idk! Good luck though ♥️♥️

If anyone professionally diagnosed wants to weigh in in the notes go right ahead ^__^

#asks #anonymous #jesus sorry that’s so long omfg

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reginarubie · 1 year

Note

Hey Regina!!

Big fan of your Jonsa stories and the current FIRESTEEL one🔥

Just wanted to ask/know will there be any updates on any of your Jonsa fics?

Cause gosh honestly I'm missing yours (ours) dark and unhinged and possessive LORD OF THE WORLD🤤😅 (empress of the world)😉

But seriously any Jonsa updates will be appreciated 😭🤗

Ciao anon!,

First of all thank you! It’s amazing to know how much you appreciate my stories (Jonsa, darkJonsa and Firesteel).

Tbh I’ve been working on-and-off on next chapter of Like Wolves in the Darkness lately though I’m having some issue with the new POV, next chapter will be a double POV chapter and the first POV of it will be new and I want to make it plausible, accorded to the story but also canon which is giving me some issue, though I am halfway through that, so expect some good news on it soon!

I am kind of outlining next chapter of Soulbonded as well, and of Don’t go in the Forest, but it’s a slow process because both are very intense to write (especially Soulbonded since I added so much lore and basically wrote myself in a corner which means I have to be twice as mindful of all the lore I added in the coming chapters for future chapters reasons ™️).

The time of wolves new chapter is under review, btw, so yep… at one point I should be able to update that too.

I’ve also had the draft of coming chapter of the Chanson du sun’s son and his queen wolf and I actually have mapped and half written all the coming chapters of Wind of Ice, thought as they’re not Jonsa stories you had no asked after them — sorry to use this reply this way but I guess it kind of has become an update on how I am doing on my fics — hope you don’t mind.

Also you are in luck because guess on which story I’ve been working parallel with Firesteel these last days? Empress of the World! (Also because of these amazing portraits made with an AI, because tbh I’m very bad at art which have inspired me)

Lady Favorite Sansa of House Stark, officially taking a more active role in the court of Valyria and being officially associated with the throne of the Empress during a court session and the trial of lord Domeric of House Bolton.

Emperor Jaehaerys III, emperor of all Valyria, Noble Father, the Liberator of Braavos and New Ghis, … though I can’t tell you what he’ll be doing next chapter (🤫)

Their son in a couple of years, Jacaerys Brandon of Houses Targaryen and Stark, heir to the throne of Valyria and of Winter, prince of Tyria and Winterfell.

Princess Rhaenys of Houses Targaryen and Martell, current lady of Dragonstone, Prime Achor of Valyria and dragon rider.

The Lady Mother of the Emperor, lady Lyanna Karstark, concubine of emperor Rhaegar Targaryen.

Princess Daenerys of House Targaryen, lady governor of Meereen and Pentos, dragon rider, adoptive mother to her brother-husband bastards and in collusion for power with the lady Favorite and the Emperor.

Yeah, I know they are only crumbles but know it’s just a taste of the whole meal that’ll be the chapter! More food (aesthetic if nothing else) for your Emperor Jaehaerys and his Empress’ needs!

As always thank you for dropping by! You don’t know how happy that makes me! Sending all my love ~G.

Ps once i have updated the new chapter of Empress I’m really curious to learn what you think of it, so if you wanna, drop by again! ♥️

#ask the hag #anon asks #sansa stark #firesteel #jonsa #jonsa fanfiction #empress of the world #like wolves in the darkness #Soulbonded #don’t go in the forest #wind of ice #the Chanson du sun’s son and his queen wolf #I guess this kinda turned to an update on my most asked after fics #I promise #WIP #It’s a work in progress but we’re getting there!

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kaleb-is-definitely-sane · 1 year

Note

kalllllllllebbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb, how's your day going?

My day has been great so far — ignoring the fact that i slept in by an hour and 33 minutes. And that i nearly burned our house down cooking eggs for my lunch. And the fact that fact that i have a freakin art assignment due tonight (im skipping it till tomorrow) and i can’t draw. 😂 😅. Other than all that it’s going great. But seriously it has been a good day. With any luck i’ll be at church in like 2 hours eating pizza and other junk food (and talking to the girl i had a mental breakdown over; details to follow 😉).

Last but not least: Emoji’s for you and the quokkas: ♥️😂😅❤️💜☺️😆😉🤩😊😃🥳😎🤣❤️‍🔥💌💝💘🥰💓❣️💞✨😍💕💗💖

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windowlessatmosphere · 1 year

Text

And We're Live, Ch.2

Summary: Kim's manager is insistent that he needs to do another Live to promote his new album, since the last one went off the rails. All he has to do is play a few songs, answer some questions, and promote the album. Without mentioning Chay. That should be easy enough, right?

“Did you find them?” Kim yelled from the music room. He was currently setting up the tripod for his Live, and Chay was running around the house trying to find his headphones. He’d decided to play video games during the Live, but was paranoid that the sound would be disruptive if he didn’t wear headphones. Kim had reminded him several times that the music room was soundproofed, and it would be fine, but his words had gone unheeded. This was quickly followed by the thought that if Chay did find them, he could leave the door open and keep a closer eye on him.

“Not yet!” Chay called back. Kim attached a ring light to the tripod, then turned to leave, intending to help Chay search. Of course, upon turning, the headphones came directly into his line of sight, and he remembered that he’d borrowed them the day before. Without asking. For a second, he debated whether he should admit to it, or just go put them in the living room while Chay was looking elsewhere. He thought better of it quickly, though, reminding himself that Chay couldn’t stand being lied to, no matter how insignificant the topic was.

“Found ‘em!”

Chay appeared in the doorway a minute later, taking the headphones happily and kissing Kim on the cheek. “They were in here?” he asked, frowning.

“I borrowed them yesterday,” Kim explained. “And then totally forgot.” He held his breath for a half-second before Chay just shrugged, and he was able to relax.

Kim’s phone went off in his pocket, and he fished it out to see it was the five-minute warning alarm he’d set for the Live. “Five minutes,” he told Chay, who had raised an eyebrow in question.

“Good luck,” Chay chirped, kissing him quickly before taking a step back.

“I need more luck,” Kim insisted, pulling Chay back in. Chay just laughed and acquiesced, kissing him more soundly before pulling away.

“Is that enough?” he teased, his dimples showing as he grinned.

“Probably not,” Kim said seriously. “You remember what happened last time.” Chay rolled his eyes emphatically, but kissed him again, so Kim counted it as a win.

“Have fun!” Chay ordered him, booping him on the nose.

“I’ll think about it,” Kim replied, unable to help a slight smile as he watched him leave. He checked the time on his phone before heading over to his chair. The guitar he wanted to use was already in place, so he just opened Instagram and stuck his phone on the tripod before sitting down. He used the camera to check himself over before starting the Live, smoothly slipping into his stage persona.

He talked casually to the first couple of people who arrived. It wouldn’t do any good to start playing songs before most people had even opened the app, he knew. As more people popped up, he started scanning through the comments.

newdawnnewday: yay another live!!! luv u!! ♥️♥️ safetypinnecklace: we r here we r queer we r ready to hear abt ur damn boyfriend wik fahseyes555: new album info? pransocool: 🎉🎉🎉🎉 candleswik: pls tell me ur giving us news abt mystery boyfriend!!!

He read through the comments silently, determined not to acknowledge any of the comments about Chay. Instead, he focused on anything music-related, especially regarding the new album. As he spoke, the comments mostly shifted away from Chay, although there were still a few here and there. Easy enough, he thought with satisfaction.

Once enough people joined, he grabbed his guitar, laying out the songs he was planning to do before he started playing. He played through the songs easily, relaxing into the comfortable routine of performing. While he did enjoy interacting with his fans, it wasn’t something that had ever come easily to him, and it was mostly in service of his career goals.

Some of that relaxation disappeared once he finished his songs, knowing that he needed to start answering questions. It was a delicate balance, giving out enough information for people to be interested, but not so much that they felt overwhelmed. It wasn’t his strong suit and he wished, not for the first time, that Mae could be the one to do these sorts of things. He leaned in to read the comments, snorting quietly when he saw that Chay was still being mentioned.

ringringying: omg that was soooo pretty!!! lovelymusicbear3: hmm new studio or?? 👀👀👀 ferngullyart: how have we made it this far into the live without an mb mention patontheback: 🔥🔥🔥🔥 taylorsswift5: give us the boyfriend info and nobody gets hurt 🔪 fadetoblack: so good you should release an acoustic version

“Not a new studio, no,” he replied, ignoring the comments about Chay. “I’m at home for this one,” he explained, holding in a laugh when that moved the comments in a new direction.

x_14lanadelray: omg wik house tour when?? eggyoks: r u kidding do u hav a studio in ur HOUSE?? ugh wik never beating the rich kid allegations jennienoticeme: is ur boyfriend home??? SHOW HIM TO US whatyouneedtosay: r u gonna talk mroe abt the new album? thorninyourside: That’s so cool, do you record music there?

“It’s just my music room,” he clarified. “I don’t actually record in it. I think I filmed a couple covers here though, early on.” He set his guitar down before continuing to scroll through the comments, trying to get a sense of what kinds of questions people were asking about the album. While he was doing that, he accidentally hit something, and a bunch of circles popped up at the bottom of the screen. He clicked on a few, then started tapping around the screen to try and make them go away. “Sorry, sorry,” he muttered, looking up once they disappeared. His own face stared back at him, glowing rainbow hearts coming out of his eyes. “What.” He shook his head, trying to refocus. “Can you guys see that?” he asked, flicking his eyes down to the comments.

paiitforward: see what? 🤨🤨🤨 tradeyou4it: Noo what do you mean tellmenow_18_: yes we can see the filter! fahseyes555: nope drownmeinurlove: we can see the hearts lol ringringying: if you mean the filter then yes! bluegoldlove: boomer wik cant use ig no surprise there

“Okay, I guess you can,” he emphasized. “How do I get rid of it?”

ayeayecapn: r u trying to get rid of LOVE?? ur poor boyfriend omg littlewhitelies: Just undo whatever you did! wikslefteyebrow: its not a filter they just appear when ur in love p@rkj1m1ns: the hearts r a symbol 4 mb since u continue to deprive us of his presence!! newdawnnewday: no u should leave them theyre so cute! 🙂 xxtherewillbexx: click the button you already clicked i think

He sighed after reading the comments, realizing they weren’t going to be much help. He debated just ignoring the filter and continuing with the Live, but remembered what Mae had said about this being important. After mulling it over, he figured Chay would probably know, and figured he could just text him to ask. He went to pick the phone up, then stopped, unsure if exiting the app would stop the Live entirely. He opened his mouth, about to yell Chay’s name, before remembering that was something he was meant to keep to himself.

“Babe!” was what he went with instead, regretting it instantly when the comments started rolling in.

ferngullyart: BABE?? THIS IS BREAKING NEWS PPL!! atakkontitan: omg that’s so cute 6statesaway: BABE bk_112: is he there?? do u liv together omg?? devilinthedetails: pet names? in THIS economy? totesmahgoats: wik calls mb babe i will never recover

Shit. Mae had specifically told him not to give out any information on Chay, but he wouldn’t have thought that counted. He did his best to ignore the comments, craning his neck until Chay appeared in the doorway with a puzzled look. He raised an eyebrow questioningly, opening his mouth before thinking better of it and closing it again.

“There’s a filter?” Kim offered, gesturing vaguely at his phone. Chay sighed before crossing over to where he was sitting, shaking his head slightly. “How do I get rid of it?” Kim asked, eyes on his phone to make sure Chay wasn’t in frame. Luckily, Chay seemed like he had it covered, keeping out of the camera’s field of view and not saying anything. He leaned in and did something on the phone, and the filter disappeared instantly. He stayed mostly out of frame the whole time, only part of his elbow appearing in the shot. No big deal. Or so he thought.

candleswik: ELBOW SIGHTING ELBOW SIGHTING ferngullyart: houston we have elbow, i repeat, we have elbow tradeyou4it: Is that your boyfriend?? x_14lanadelray: holy shit our first mb sighting!! 6statesaway: KING OF HAVING AN ELBOW p@rkj1m1ns: thank god mb is also wik’s IT department

Kim did his best not to smile at the comments, but he couldn’t help it. He’d been concerned that people would be harsh or critical towards Chay, so this was a welcome surprise. True, they were over-excited, but he definitely preferred that over anyone disliking Chay. Besides, it just made sense to like Chay, even with very limited information.

He glanced back at Chay, who gave him a thumbs up with a questioning expression. Kim gave him a nod and a thumbs up in response, and he smiled before leaving the room. Turning back to his phone, Kim sighed at the fact that the vast majority of the comments were now about Chay. Or, more specifically, his elbow.

“Okay, that’s fixed,” he put on a smile, “so we can go back to the questions now.” He scanned them for a few moments, hopeful that something would pop up about the new album, but there was no such luck. “If there’s anything you want to know about the album…” he tested the waters, still reading the comments.

safetypinnecklace: give us the info! we want the info! candleswik: i am now stanning mb’s left elbow ringringying: guys he doesn’t have to talk about it!! lovelymusicbear3: but does he call YOU babe?? newdawnnewday: nooo tell us about mb plsssss ♥️♥️♥️ bluegoldlove: sir ur very out of ur league

“Okay, I understand the interest, but we’re keeping things private,” Kim stated, trying to sound serious but not harsh. Luckily, a few questions popped up that were unrelated to Chay, and he jumped on those quickly. That helped a little, giving people something else to focus on, though there were still a lot of Chay mentions in the comments. He slowly started getting it back under control, finally turning everyone’s attention back to the album when a text popped up.

Mae What part of “do not mention him in any capacity” was unclear?

#kinnporche the series #kim khimhant theerapanyakul #porchay pichaya kittisawat #kimchay #kinnporsche fanfiction #kimchay fic

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queen-of-deans-booty · 2 years

Text

We Need To Talk About Kevin: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.9k

Warnings: canon angst and violence

Author’s Note: Welcome to the first episode of season 8! I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for almost eight years 😭 I hope you all enjoy ♥️

I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated.

Depressing memories aside, you have to focus on getting to Channing Ngo's college dorm since she might know where Kevin is. It's a long shot, but you don't have any other leads right now. As soon as you were well rested, you got to the college dorm where Channing let you in once she knew you weren't total strangers. Well, you were, but as soon as she heard Kevin's name, she let you in.

There's something about her that is off, but you can't quite put your finger on it.

"The last time I saw Kevin was, like, a year ago," Channing divulges.

"When he disappeared?"

"Yeah. He stole his mother's car because he thought he was on a mission from God or something. It was crazy."

"Shut up!" Channing's roommate gasps. "My friend Adam got addicted to Adderall but got a perfs on his SATs, so it was totally worth it--it's the same thing."

"Shut up!" Channing gasps back.

"Seriously. Mission from God."

"Look, Channing, we know Kevin was here," you interrupt.

"No, he wasn't."

"We understand if you're trying to protect him, but nobody can protect Kevin better than we can," Sam tries.

"I hate Kevin. I wouldn't protect him."

"I thought you two had a thing."

"Yeah, when he was going to Princeton."

"Wow, just like that?" you ask.

"Yeah,"

"Okay, well, thank you," you say and leave.

You don't want to be here any more than you have to, so you quickly leave the dorm with the brothers.

"So, why would Kevin come sniffing around here if not to see her?" you ask.

"No idea. Maybe we should split up, ask around, see if anybody's seen him?" Sam suggests.

"Yeah, Asian kid, yay high, at a university. That should be easy," Dean scoffs.

"Who do you want to go with, Joanna? Mommy or Daddy?"

"Daddy!" she smiles.

"Of course," you chuckle.

Dean leans down and picks her up, and she cuddles into his chest and rests her head on his shoulder.

"I'm the better parent," Dean teases, sticking his tongue out to you.

"Fine, but don't come crying to me when she throws a fit."

You and the brothers go your separate ways, talking to people who might know where Kevin went. You don't have a good description of him to begin with, but you don't have any luck with anyone. After about an hour of asking kids, you decide to head back to the brothers and see what they got.

Sam is sitting on some concrete table with a built-in umbrella next to an outdoor cafeteria. You approach the table just as Dean comes back with some food that he ordered. Joanna is sitting with Sam and enjoying the snacks you packed her, and Dean hands you food as soon as you sit down.

"Thank you," you smile and unwrap your burger.

"Really?" Sam asks, looking at the meal you and Dean have.

"You had no idea what we had to eat over there, Sam. This is pure heaven right now," you moan after you've taken a bite.

"Check this out. So, I went through campus security archives around the time Kevin should have been here. Anyone look familiar?"

Sam turns the laptop to face you and Dean as you eat. On his screen is a snapshot of Kevin wearing a baseball cap. So, he's alive. That's good.

"Alright, so, what, Kevin comes all the way to campus and doesn't see his girlfriend?"

"I don't know, but I went to the computer lab and found the computer he was on."

"And?"

"And I found the website he was visiting, found his account username, hacked in to the website, found when else this username logged in, and then I reverse-tracked the IP address back to the original user, Kevin, who has apparently been using the same wireless router for the past two months."

"Look at you go!" you praise.

"That is spectacular work. Any chance I can get that in English?" Dean asks, taking a bite again.

"Yeah. I think he's in Iowa at a coffee shop."

When you got to the coffee shop in Iowa, the barista in the shop told you where to find Kevin. She's seen him ducking into the church right across the street whenever he leaves, so you believe he's been hanging out here for the time being.

"A church? Are you sure this is right?" Dean asks when he parks in front of it.

"The barista at the coffee shop swears she's seen Kevin ducking in here for the past few months." You all get out, but you leave Zeus behind in the car for right now. There aren't a lot of people here to call the police for seeing a dog inside the car even if the windows are open. You approach the doors and knock, but Kevin doesn't answer. "Kevin. It's Sam, Dean, and Y/N Winchester. Open up."

Instead of waiting for him to enter, you use your magic to unlock the door. As soon as you walk inside, Kevin stops you with water guns filled with Borax.

"Stop!" you yell, shielding Joanna's face from the cleaning product.

"Stop! Not Leviathans. It's us!" Dean shouts.

"What the hell happened to you guys?" Kevin asks, letting his guard down when he sees you're not burning.

"Cliff Notes? We went to Purgatory. Sam hit a dog."

"For real?" Dean wipes his face of the Borax, and Kevin sighs apologetically. "You want some towels?"

You look around the empty church and see symbols painted all over the windows and floor.

"Who taught you all this?"

"I guess... God?"

"God taught you how to trap demons?"

"Technically, yeah."

"Wait, wait, hold on. Crowley kidnapped you. I saw that, but then you left a message saying you escaped. How?" Sam asks.

"Well, first, he took me to a warehouse. There was a tablet there, just like the last one."

"There's another tablet?" you ask. "Another Word of God?"

"Yes."

"How many Words of God are there?"

"How should I know? I just became a Prophet, like, a year ago."

"Did this tablet have a name?"

"Demons."

"What about demons?" Dean asks, intrigued.

"As far as I could tell... everything. It was all fragments of bits and pieces. It was hard, at first, but I eventually got something about Hell Gates."

"There's one in Wisconsin. The tablet told me how to open it. There were ingredients for a spell."

"You showed the King of Hell how to open a Hell Gate? So that all the demons in Hell could come out all at the same time?" Dean grows angry.

"What? No. I told Crowley I was opening a Hell Gate, but I was reading from another chapter--how to destroy demons."

"You son of a bitch."

"Wait. Kevin? Where's the tablet now?"

"Safe."

"Safe where?" you ask.

"Hey. As long as it's safe, okay?" Dean says, and you just sigh. "Were you able to read anything else off the tablet before you stashed it?"

"Only the stuff about closing the gates of Hell. Forever."

"Come again?"

"Banish all demons off the face of the Earth and lock them away forever. That could be important, right?"

"Closing the gates of Hell forever? Yeah. Yeah, that could be important."

"Can I talk to you two for a second?" you ask, repositioning Joanna on your hip. "Excuse us for a second."

You and the brothers walk outside the church so you can talk about this before deciding what to do.

"Guys, if he's right, he's sitting on a bombshell. Hell, he is the bombshell."

"There's no way that Kevin's getting out of this intact, is there?" Sam asks.

"Well, he's doing pretty well for himself so far."

"Yeah, he got out."

"Sounds like to me he never did. Sam, he's not out when he spent the last year in hiding because of Crowley. That's not being out. That's being in," you try to explain.

"So, free will is only for you two?" Sam asks.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing. Sam, we have an opportunity to wipe the slate clean. We take Kevin to the tablet, he tells us the spell, we send every demon back to hell--forever. Every single bastard that destroyed our lives, killed our mothers, and killed Jess, and you're not sure?"

Sam scoffs and walks back inside the place. Zeus whines from the car, and you look over to see him wag his tail.

"Do you want out?"

He barks once in response, and you take Dean's keys so you can let him out. You don't bother with a leash since you know he is going to come when you call. He stretches his legs before following you and Dean inside the church. You see Sam and Kevin talking with each other, and since this place echoes, you hear exactly what they're saying.

"Kevin, I, uh... I owe you an apology. Um... look, when you disappeared and Dean and Y/N disappeared, I... needed to clear my head, and... I'm thinking maybe you were one of the pieces that I should have been there to pick up."

"You've been a hunter since you were a kid, right?"

"Yeah, mostly. Yeah."

"Ever since I realized I was a prophet, it's just hard to believe this is actually my life," Kevin sighs.

"Yeah. It sucks right now. I know that. It might suck for a lot longer, but... trust me on this: it gets better. If we can do this, get the tablet and get you everything you need to close the gates of Hell, there's a world out there where nobody--not Crowley, no demon--is chasing you anymore."

"I guess I just don't see how I get from there to here."

"I used to not be able to see it, either, but there is a way."

"Just give me five minutes," Kevin sighs.

He gets up from one of the pews and heads to the back where you know his stuff is. Kevin takes exactly five minutes to gather his things, meeting with you and the brothers in the middle of the church. Suddenly, the church starts to shake as if there is an earthquake, but you know it's something more deadly. The floorboards begin cracking to break the symbols painted on the ground.

"We got company," you say, knowing that demons are here.

The double doors fly open and two demons enter with smirks on their faces.

"Dean and Y/N Winchester. Back from Purgatory."

"Spanky the demon," Dean says sarcastically. Sam stands in front of Kevin to protect him, and you keep Zeus close as well as Joanna. "Yeah, I heard about you. You're the one who uses too much teeth, right?"

The demons rush for Sam and Dean, and you grab Kevin's arm to pull him to safety while Sam and Dean battle the two demons. Kevin raises one of his squirt guns and blasts both demons, watching as it burns their skin. Sam takes out the knife that Ruby gave him and stabs one of the demons in the chest, killing him.

"Dean!" Sam yells and tosses the knife to him, and your husband kills the demon instantly.

Just then, Crowley and Channing appear in the doorway of the church. Why is she here? Has she been a demon this whole time? How did you not know this? You can see almost everyone who is possessed because of the black smoke enveloping their body. If she was a demon before, how did you not see it? Did they do a spell to keep you from seeing what she really was?

"Hello, boys and Y/N. Dean. Y/N. You're looking... Well, let's just say Purgatory didn't do you any favors. Where's your angel?"

"Ask your fucking mother," you growl.

"There's that grade-school zip. Missed it. I really did." He turns to Sam and smirks. "Moose. Still with the pork chops. I admire that."

"Let Channing go," Kevin demands of the King.

"That's not Channing, Kevin. Not anymore," you say.

"What an awful thing to say to the boy. Of course it's Channing, Kev. Last time we danced, you stole my tablet and killed my men. Tell you what. Come with me now and I'll consider it bygones. Maybe I'll let the girl go back to... What's-the-Point U."

"He's lying. You won't get Channing back. She's probably dead already," Dean tries to convince Kevin.

"Will you please stop saying that? Let the girl speak," Crowley snaps his fingers.

Just like that, Channing is brought back as the demon sinks into her body.

"Kevin?" Channing gasps, fear in her eyes.

"Channing?"

"What's going on?"

"There's a demon in you, and you're going to your safety school."

"What?!"

Crowley snaps his fingers again, and the demon is brought to the front again.

"No! Okay. I'll do it," Kevin sighs.

"Kevin, what are you doing?" you ask.

"Myself for the girl. But this ends. Alright? No fighting, no nothing. It ends."

"We can't let you do that, buddy," Dean says.

"Or what? You'll kill me?" He scoffs and turns to Crowley with a single nod. "I'll get my stuff."

"Chin up, gentlemen and lady. I'm a professional," Crowley grins. His eyes dart down to your stomach, and his entire demeanor changes. He groans and rolls his eyes in annoyance. "This is great. All I need is more baby Winchesters running around."

"This ain't over by a long shot, Crowley," Dean says, trying to keep the conversation on them and not his children.

"Really, Dean, who writes your stuff? A marshmallow? Come on, Kevin. Chop, chop." He expects Kevin to show up on command, but the young man doesn't show. "Kevin?"

Crowley takes one step forward and Dean raises his knife threateningly, but Crowley snaps his fingers. The knife in Dean's hand glows bright red until it gets too hot for Dean to touch. Your eyes glow blue as you send a blast of magic at his chest, and he goes flying back a couple of feet. However, he takes this calmly and decides not to do anything about it this time. He glares at you, composes himself, and he walks past you three to head to the back where Kevin was.

"Kevin!"

Dean rolls his eyes and picks up his knife which is now cold to the touch. Crowley heads to the back to fetch Kevin with Channing at his side.

"Kevin."

Crowley opens the back door to reveal Kevin standing there with a cord in his hand that is attached to something on the ceiling, out of your line. He pulls the line and buckets of holy water rain down on the duo.

"Sam! Dean! Y/N! Run!" Kevin yells.

You don't waste another second and turn tail, clutching your daughter tightly as you run. Zeus barks and runs with you knowing that there is danger nearby. Kevin races around the demons and joins you three by the car. Everyone piles into whatever seat they can get into, and you strap Joanna into her car seat easily.

You look behind you to see Crowley and Channing outside. Black smoke pours out of Channing's mouth, so you know that she's the only person living inside her body. Knowing that Kevin is watching, he snaps Channing's neck with a hand motion similar to what her neck is doing.

In the next second, they're out of sight. You sigh and look at Kevin to see unshed tears in his eyes. It's best to leave him alone right now, so you just slump in your seat and look out the window. You're not sure where you're going, but Dean stops at a gas station to fill up. It's a nice break from the crazy that you just escaped, so you watch as Sam gets out to stretch his long legs.

Suddenly, Dean's phone rings and he picks it up immediately.

"Hello? ... Wrong number," Dean shakes his head and hangs up. "Automated jackass. All right, does anybody want anything?"

"I'm good," Sam says.

You look at Kevin when he doesn't respond.

"Kevin, are you okay?"

"I'm awesome. The king of Hell just snapped my girlfriend's neck. How about you?" he says sarcastically.

"Alright, listen to me," Dean clears his throat. "I'm sorry about your girlfriend, okay? I am. But the sooner you get this, the better. You're in it now, whether you like it or not. That means you do what you gotta do. I'm hitting the head."

"I'll go with you. I have to go as well."

You know exactly who was on the other end of Dean's phone conversation. He doesn't say anything as you two leave the car and walk around the side of the building where the bathrooms are. Dean takes out his phone and dials Benny once more, getting him and putting him on speakerphone.

"There he is," Benny chuckles on the other end.

"How did you get a phone?" you ask.

"Would you believe they sell these things in convenience stores now? A lot's changed in fifty years."

"Must be a hell of a lot to take in."

"Mostly it's the choices, you know? So many choices," he sighs longingly.

"Benny, you're doing great. We're proud of you," you say.

"Listen, Benny, not to beat a dead horse, but what we did down there is what we had to do. Now, I don't regret it for a second. But... you know, maybe until we both adjust, it's best we don't talk for a while," Dean says.

"There it is," Benny sighs.

"One day at a time, just like we talked about, right?"

"I think you had it right, bud."

"What's that?"

"Purgatory was pure. I'm kind of wishing I had appreciated it more. You know? Like you."

"Listen, you got an emergency, you call me, you understand?"

"I hear you. You keep your nose clean, too, brother."

Dean and Benny hang up, and you look around the corner at Sam.

"If he knew, he'd be pissed."

"That's why we're not saying anything. We promised each other."

"I'm not saying anything. Your secrets become mine and mine become yours. I got your back, babe." You kiss him on the lips quickly before pulling back. "Now I really do need to go to the bathroom."

You and Dean go your separate ways, and you head into the women's restroom. It takes less than five minutes to do what you need to do, and after you wash your hands, you dry them with three paper towels. You look at yourself in the mirror with a sigh. Purgatory definitely fucked you up in ways you didn't know it could. You're definitely not the same woman as you were before.

With a shake of your head, you open the restroom to leave but freeze in your steps when you see who is standing right in front of you.

"Hello, Y/N," Amara smiles.

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