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thesilversolution · 2 years

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Home Business Success Academy - Scam Or Real Deal?

The Home Business Success Academy is a training organization that helps entrepreneurs and home business operators how to grow their organizations using target marketing and various techniques to grow a business. They have developed a reputation as being one of the most popular training organization for networkers and home-business entrepreneurs, but not everyone is a fan of the HBSA. Or is it a big scam? That's what we will be talking about in this article.

First off, does the Home Business Success Academy teach what works? The principles are based on direct-response marketing, of using marketing that targets the masses, and is step oriented from attracting a new client to enrolling them in your organization. It's focused on using technology as a way to do this - using the phone, Internet, copywriting, and other tools to market a business, product, or service. The principles are all based on getting someone to take action. This is the actual definition of direct-response marketing, and has been employed by all sorts of industries for the last 100 years.

So the principles are sound, but what about the actual tactics? The tactics include using script-based prospecting systems, teleconference lines, search-engine optimization, pay-per-click advertising, autoresponders, and other tactics designed to leverage time and effort. Again, these types of tactics have been in several other industries, with good results. Some industries use these tactics with bad results too - this is why the person using the tactic much have a good working knowledge of what they are doing. A tool is only as good as the person using it.

Finally, the training is based on personal interaction. For people looking to hide behind a computer screen and grow a business, HBSA is a poor choice. Their tactics all include communication. The philosophy is based that in order to build a people-centric organization, you have to be communicating frequently and effectively. Some people get into business to actually avoid human contact, and that is nearly always a mistake. To sum up, HBSA is not a scam if a person wants to build an organization with effective, respectful, engaging marketing techniques, is eager to learn, and is hungry for interaction. A person looking for an "automated cash machine" will, on the other hand, be turned off by the work and effort it takes to actually build a successful people-based organization.

Home Business Network Marketing, most who read that phrase will have different thoughts regarding it, but most will not consider network marketing as a business. I want to start with the word business, a lot of people outside of network marketing never make the connection of it being a real business. That is understandable, because a lot of people in network marketing don't either. If you are in network marketing and don't see your business as a real, legitimate business, you cannot expect other people to either. That presents a problem, since it is a people business, hence the name network marketing.

Do you have a business or a hobby?

As I listen and talk with people who are in direct sales, observe their actions, it is very easy to see part of the problem, their actions are not consistent with having a real business. They join something without really understanding it, or fully knowing what it takes to make it happen or to experience success, that is the first mistake. These questions may help you determine if you believe you have a real business or not.

1. In what manner do you conduct business? Are you keeping good records? Have a checking account for your business?

2. How much time and energy are you putting into it? Are you only investing two hours a week? Are you sharing with three people a month? Do you know how much time you are investing, is it hit or miss? Do you invest some time every day in your business?

3. Are you operating your business like you would if it was a brick and mortar business? Are you treating it what it is worth or the initial investment to join?

If you are not tracking your expenses and putting time and effort in to your business everyday, success will elude you. If you put eight hours a month into a job, that was a full time position, do you think you would have it very long? Would that take care of all of your living expenses or change your life? These are some of the things to consider when starting and operating any home based business.

* For a genuine start-up business idea, simply visit: http://thesilversolution.net

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#home-business-ideas #home-business-ideas-2022 #home-business-tax-deductions #home-business-insurance-coverage #home-business-license #home-businesses-to-start #home-business-startup-capital #home-business-for-sale #home-business

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soldmysoultootomeboys · 3 years

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Hi! Can I request headcannons for the human brothers accidently summoning an angel mc instead of a demon and the angel mc insisting on sticking around and helping them?

The other brothers: :) Satan: >:)

This has been in the drafts for too long. I really love the absolute mood switch between Lucifers and Mammons. And just Satans in general ig.

Lucifer

After years of religious trauma at the hands of his father Lucifer finally thought he was free of any connection to the church. Summoning a flaming seraphim at 3 in the morning was not a pleasant way to find out that he was wrong.

As for you, being summoned for the first time in your long long life was an unwelcome surprise. You were a seraphim for heaven's sake. The cream of the crop, highest of the high, and that wasn’t pride speaking only facts. You were crucial to running the celestial realm.

But somehow you’re undeniably tied to his human. You could feel where his soul became intermeshed with your very essence. How wrong it felt to be tied to something so mortal, and delicate, and free.

Any attempts to leave would surely be met with disaster.

So you stay. Lucifer is cold. You can’t blame him. Being there reopens old wounds that he’d rather have remained closed. But just ignoring each other isn’t going to work.

He’s not interested in the celestial realm, and despises any blessing you try and give him, but a fresh cup of coffee during an all-nighter seems to make him brighter than any magic you could do and when you run your hands through his hair he looks at you with more fondness than you can comprehend.

You learn to be more human. He learns to let go of the past.

And one day you find that you don’t want to leave anymore.

For celestial sake that thought should as well be treason! But it’s true.

It’s a spring afternoon and Lucifer plays celestial lullabies on his piano and you want nothing more than for the beautiful night to come so you can sweep him in your arms and remind him how he glows.

You don’t know what is right and what is wrong anymore, but you know that this human is yours and you are his. To rip off your wings would be to find solace in his arms. But you can not give him that. This he knows.

So you promise to protect him, in words he can’t hear but he understands. The spread of your wings shield him from the world and you press blessings to his skin in the shape of the crescents in his back and your lips on his neck. If nothing else you’ll keep him safe. When the world seems too big and the stress of his life gets him down you’ll always be here for him to crawl back to. You can give him that much.

Mammon

That was it

You had to have been assigned the stupidest human in the world

When you were promoted to guardian angel you kinda thought it would be more ‘protecting orphans’ and ‘guiding lost puppies back home’ NOT watching a grown man spend his last paycheck on his eighth Nigerian prince scam

Seriously mammon? Did the prophetic dreams you sent mean nothing? The visions of the future he coincidentally had after hitting his head on a light post, only simple illusions? What more could you try beyond simply marching down their and clocking him on the head yourself?

...unless

Raphael would have your wings if you went to the human world. But that would be a lot less painful that having to watch whatever Mammon was going to do with all the rubber cement he just bought.

The next morning you decide to sneak down. The city was amazing, all colored light and fun machines that whizzed by you on the streets

But you had to stay focused

You were an angel on a mission

You made your way towards central park. Mammon went there every morning to swindle tourists out of their wallets. If you were fast you’d get there before the first patrol office started chasing him.

Spotting the albino you marched straight towards him, readied yourself, and smacked him over the head.

Maybe not very angel-like but it worked.

One introduction later and you're officially a guardian angel

Mammon’s actually pretty nice once you get to know him. Sure he may be a bit too obsessed with lining his pockets but for all his talk he never hesitates to try and help you out.

Consistent affection and care is good for him. He never really knows how to react when you wrap your wings around him but even with his tsundere objections it's obvious he’s pleased.

He’ll take whatever scraps of affection you’ll give him and practically beams at every little gesture you do, no matter how small or insignificant.

You do have to be careful though.

At his request you had attempted to bless him with a bit of luck. An easy enough spell for an angel like you (even if you were 90% sure he planned to go gambling after). Whatever scheming he’s doing immediately stops the moment you cup his face. He seems to freeze when you lean in, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek

You were about to congratulate yourself on a spell well done when you noticed the condition he was in. He was like a living statue, a statue with a very very red face

Before you can ask what was wrong he flails pushing you away and darting off to his room

Any attempts to speak to him the rest of the day were met with incoherent shouting.

It might be best to withhold any magic until you can figure out how humans work

Levi

Once again Levi’s dedication to anime gets him into trouble

It started with his most recent obsession, a new anime that follows a group of angels, produced by the famous company, Dove. The plot, the animation, the soundtrack, all of it was amazing so when they came out with a new limited edition item featuring the very symbol that the main character wore he just had to have it

The moment it came he was setting it up on its own altar, a handmade replica just like in the show only for- Oh no

Before his eyes burst a shining visage of light and then you

You blink in surprise, whether it's from taking a human form for the first time in decades or the strange new room you were in, only you know

The scene may be foreign but the guy quivering on the floor was not

BE NOT AFRAID

Your booming voice echoes around the room

For some reason the guy begins to freak out even more

Didn’t he see your halo? You even told him to not be afraid. Were humans really so strange? :(

Oh well. You hum making your aura as comforting as possible and slowly the guy calms down enough for you to coax him into a seat as you begin to explain.

Which might not have been the best move.

The moment it sunk in he was bombarding you with questions

Yes you were an angel, no you didn’t know what anime was, yes you had wings, no you didn’t have any secret ultimate moves...whatever those were

He ranted and raved over this and that and you let him. He seemed like he needed someone to talk to. It also let you piece together what had happened.

He seemed to be a natural sorcerer, and a powerful one at that if he could someone an angel with no training or even knowledge that he could do magic

Just a few minutes in his presence made his self loathing obvious. Mix in a bit of anxiety and envy and you essentially have Levi in a nutshell

So you decide to stay

What kind of angel would you be if you just left him here? Michael would understand.

Or he wouldn't, it didn’t really matter because you already made up your mind.

Living with Levi is an experience for both of you.

He introduces you to so many new things. He had little boxes that could control light and screens containing actual people to talk to. It was all quite fanciful

In return you act as his friend, encouraging him to go out with you and attending cons with him, even if you still weren't exactly sure what cosplaying is

Slowly he begins to open up for you

He’s still nervous to go out in public, and a complete introvert at heart.

But that was fine. You could both figure out this new world together, at your own pace

Satan

Definitely was not trying to summon a demon to lay havoc on his enemies

Nope, not him he says all while trying to casually kick away vials of mysterious fluids

...Right

You’ve been down to the human world enough to know a demon summoner when you see one

Or in this case a failed summoner

He has no excuse for why he called you and instead seems more insistent that you leave

As much as you you might like to return to the celestial realm, you cannot in good conscience leave a man that you know is going to try and raise hell on earth the moment your gone

So you stay, and it's a good thing you do

This man has anger issues like no other

You thought Raphael was bad this guy is like a demon himself

However he seems willing to try and make the best of what he considers a bad situation

He asks you a lot of questions on the celestial realm

For a guy who knows so much about the devildom he seems to really be lacking on any knowledge on the other celestial beings

He mostly asks you questions on the celestial war, which is a touchy topic at best and downright upsetting at worst

He’s very interested in your opinions as your point of view is very different from his own, what with being a different species and everything

You learn things too, mostly about humans and cats but you suppose its a fair trade

Because of this you become close friends

You really win him over when he finds out your calming aura naturally attracts the stray kittens Satan's been trying to pet for the last few months

It’s not uncommon to head out to late night coffee shops and discuss the merits of different aspects of your lives

But maybe you’ve gotten a bit to close when he starts asking you to revise his summoning notes

Asmo

Apparently a lifetime of partying has prepared Asmo for some very weird discoveries

When you're sent down to the human world you have one job, find and keep an eye on the potentially dangerous summoner who's been in contact with multiple high level demons in the past few days.

Instead you end up meeting Asmo

You were prepared for a fight, not to be tackled into a hug the moment you revealed yourself

Asmo on the other hand is squealing with excitement

Sweetie, he's been waiting for this moment! This is his first time meeting an angel after all

He immediately begins talking about everything he wants to do

You quickly find out that he hasn’t made any pacts...yet, if only because he “couldn’t bear to damage his skin with such an ugly mark”

...Well you suppose that's a reason to not sell your soul

Even thoughts he's aware of the three realms it doesn’t make him any less enamoured with you

He’s never met an angel, he’s quick to mention. He’d love to get to know you, if you get what he means ;)

Are all humans so upfront?

If you decline he still wants to see your true form, even after you explain that no, if you transform you will not just be a beautiful angel with wings but instead a glowing mass of eyes and feathers and angelic light that will probably end up blinding him

Blinded because of your beauty ;) ;) ;)

That said he’s easily satisfied when you just bring out your wings.

He loves fussing with them and decorates them with jewelry and roses whenever you leave them out

He even starts an angel trend on insta after posting a photo as if they were coming from his back instead

Claims your glowing aura is great for his skin

You’re not sure if that’s a pick up line or if he’s serious but he definitely basks in your presence

Loves when you talk about the celestial realm, somewhere he desperately wants to go

I mean it's the only place that's fit for a beauty like him right? But of course he can’t die yet, his fans would be sooo upset

You agree to bring him up there one day, even if that sounds a little morbid

Of course he asks you to become his guardian angel

That may not be your actual job but you can’t resist his puppy dog eyes

You and him go pretty much everywhere together, bar some more xxx rated sites

He introduces you to parties and bars, and while you don’t indulge it's enjoyable to see humans in their natural element. They’re so fun and free spirited just like Asmo

Maybe that's what attracted you to him in the first place

He loves life for what it is, something so admirably human

But you don’t slack off either. You take your role as Official Guardian Angel seriously. You guard his drinks when he goes to the bathroom, and hum celestial lullabies when he’s sad and escort him down dark alleys when walking home. He has nothing to fear with you around.

You’ve become very fond of this human. Perhaps you’ll stick around a bit longer than you planned

Beel

It’s rare to be assigned to a human so...mundane

But that’s exactly what Beel is. He goes to the gym in the mornings, works a nine to five, and comes back home to his dog

He even has a good relationship with this family, do you know how hard that is to find in this day and age???

The only thing even slightly abnormal about this guy is his appetite

He could put a gluttony demon to shame with the way he eats

But the point is you really can’t figure out why you’ve been assigned to him or how your supposed to guide him

Eat a little less? Stop stealing your brother's lunch?

It’s the first time in a long while you’ve been so stumped

So you do what any sane angel would, go down to the human world to meet him yourself

He’s a likeable guy and it’s easy to get close to him, more so do to your angelic status

Although it’s surprising how well he takes the whole angel revelation

To be honest your pretty sure he forgets most of the time

He tends to follow you around, especially at night when he insists on walking you to wherever you need to be. It’s sweet even though there's little that can really harm you in the human realm

You quickly realize that he’s the type to have nightmares, usually calling out for one of his brothers or his sister

It’s become habit to wake up and head to his room

Just being there seems to calm him down

The first time he wakes up when your doing this he ends up asking you to stay

Isn’t shy about sharing the bed either.

He’s easy going so goes along with whatever idea you have

Especially when he starts finding snacks in his bag, each one blessed for a good day or to stay full or whatever little thing you thought of that day

Belphegor

Humans can’t see angels. Not unless they want to be seen, you remind yourself for what must be the tenth time.

But you’re almost certain that guy is looking right at you.

Step to the left, his head follows

To the right, his eyes narrow looking at you like your some puzzle he just hasn’t figured out yet

…this was fine

You turn around pretending to just not see him in hope that he’ll get distracted by something else

...you glance back. Why was he still looking at you? What is with this creep?

Enough is enough.

You march over there ready to ask what his problem is. Instead he beats you to it.

Eh? You’re an angel right? He asks before you can say anything.

???? Shouldn’t he sound more shocked.

The guy just sleepily blinks. He doesn’t look like a sorcerer or a witch, in fact you can’t feel any magic from him at all.

You go to ask only to realize he’s sound asleep. It’s not like you could just leave him here. And at the same time a human who can just see angels is an oddity of itself.

You decide to hang around for a while. Belphegor doesn't mind. He only says something about it being "too troublesome to drive you off," and "you'd look like you'd just come back anyways"

Belphie sticks to you like glue, if glue was absolutely insufferable and seemed to enjoy annoying you at every possible moment

You would think this would be easy. I mean he sleeps all day and when he’s not sleeping he’s napping. Simple enough right? Wrong

When he was awake he was committed to pushing every single button you have

If it seemed like it might inconvenience or annoy you he was already doing it. Trying to smack your halo, pounce on you, or even jump off the roof just to see you scramble to catch him. He was like some terrible terrible cat

Luckily he was never energetic for long. When he wore himself out he’d retreat to the roof of his crappy one bedroom and wait for you to join him

He liked to look at the stars and he’d point them out to you. Orion, Polaris, Sirius, he would mutter, bringing you back to the days when Michael, who was once so fond of you, would sneak you down to the human world just to show you the stars and darkness the celestial realm could not offer

When he finally got tired you would take over reciting Celestial names and marking the sky with your finger just to show him where they’d be.

Those times were pleasant. Even if they were brief.

“I’m gonna jump.”

“Do it.”

“You’re an angel. Aren’t you supposed to stop me before I do something stupid?”

“You won't.”

“Aight. Bet.” Belphie pitches forward and you just manage to catch him by the leg before he falls off the roof.

Brat.

Always ruining a good moment.

You can’t even be mad. The moment you pull him up he’s already resting his fluffy head in your lap waiting for you to pet him.

He may be the most troublesome human in the entire three realms, but he’s your human

#obey me #obey me hc #angel au #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me shall we date #obey me au #angels #obey me angels

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chattingwiththelightkeeper · 3 years

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Insanity

Albert Einstein is widely credited with saying “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results” and while I have no idea if that is indeed an authentic Einstein quote or just misattributed to him but it certainly applies to the D/S, especially online. Since this quote or saying is in my mind today as I sit pecking away at my keyboard, I want to share some of the mistakes I see happening over and over with people expecting things to be different with their next lifestyle relationship.

I want to start with what should be obvious but sadly it needs to be said, guys, unless someone asks to see your baloney pony do NOT send it. FYI, this is not what anyone means when they say a ‘head shot’.

And ladies, I am a firm believer that if you are looking for more than a spring fling, do not send pictures of your boobies or naughty bits. Instead of showing those, try sending a picture of your thoughts, without any filters. In other words, use words rather than a sexy selfie to intrigue a person of interest.

Speaking of sex, there is a difference between taking enjoyment out of being dominant, submissive, or even switching during coitus. Enjoying kinkeriffic fuckery does not mean you are a d, s, or switch type. All this means is that you enjoy kinky sex and it does not mean you are into D/S. I have no issues with anyone who enjoys exploring and engaging in fetish fabulous fuckery but understand this does not mean you are into D/S.

A word of warning when it comes to bow-chick-a-wow-wow, if a person you are getting to know only wants to talk about this, or it dominates the conversation, this means that is what the person is seeking. Yes, kinky people can and should talk about sex, there is a difference between having a kinky coitus conversation and having it dominate the conversation.

Submissives, this is something that is said over and over and over and yes over again but if I did not keep seeing this, it would not need to be said. No dominant will ever ask you for, demand, or attempt to bully you to gain your submission.

S-types avoid, block, and run, do not walk, away from anyone who says something like this to you, “If you were a real submissive you would…”, “A true submissive would do…”, or in any way tries to make you feel less than or implies that you are not a real s-type because you would not do as they wished. This is not dominance however it is bullying.

Dominants, beware of the faux submissive especially online. Some state they are an s-type but what they are wanting is for you to pay for their life. As long as you pay, they will do as you say but fail to pay, they fail to do. This is not D/S and you are getting scammed. While this lifestyle does have ‘pay to play’ people, exchanging money for submission, or dominance for that matter, is not a real relationship. Although if any submissives want to pay for my skiing addiction, I will be your dominant as long as you send me to the Sierra backcountry and heliskiing in Valdez Alaska each winter. I promise to share lots of pictures. Since this is online, I am joking on the last bit so settle down trolls.

D/S relationships are still relationships which means no one can match up kinks and expect to have a successful partnership. Experience has taught me that just like our vanilla friends, we have to match up people and when the right people come together, fetishes and kinks have always worked themselves out, very nicely I might add.

Here is a question that I believe everyone in the lifestyle needs to ask when they are getting to know someone and this is “what does this mean for you?” I say this because one person’s definition of a role, kink, or anything lifestyle-related can and does often vary. So while a person may say they are a daddy, for example, how they define it might be 180 degrees different than you. So please do not forget this question and ask it often.

Slow them horses down, partner. There seems to be such a rush to find love or even a partner within the lifestyle that people often leap before they look. Once again experience has taught me that relationships that start fast, end fast. Take your time, reign in your desire to move quickly, and take your time. That wonderful prospect is not going anywhere and on a personal note, I expect a d-type to be able to say, “I am very intrigued by you but we need to move at a comfortable pace even if it might feel a touch cautious”. Dominants, the relationship this will save most likely will be your own, do not rush it.

Dominants, your relationship work does not stop when a submissive offers their gift of submission. There is no retreating to a relationship recliner because the real work of dominance begins when this moment happens. Remember every single day I believe a dominant must earn their s-type’s submission. There is no taking a day off and while there will be times when dominants must lean on their submissive, especially when life gets challenging, a dominant’s work is never done.

No relationship is ever going to be perfect. Everyone changes, grows, and matures as they journey through life. Dominants and submissives must continually work to ensure that the relationship grows together as they grow. Failure to do this will lead to partners growing apart.

Giving trust is an important part of any relationship from friendship to a relationship but before you trust, insist on verifying a person is worthy of your trust.

Trust your gut. If you feel that something is not right, trust yourself and step back or away from the person. In the world of D/S online, this is especially true if you suspect that a person is married/committed, trust yourself because you are most likely right.

Speaking of married and cheating, oh and by the way, it is not married/committed and poly if the other person’s partner(s) do not know. Often these folks will be unable to text, talk, or video chat during traditional periods of downtime, for example, weekends. If your potential partner disappears evenings, weekends, or refuses to video chat, they are indeed hiding something and most likely that is a partner that has no idea they are kinky and seeking.

Remember everything that happens in a D/S relationship occurs with consent. If there is no consent, it is not play but abuse.

There is NEVER a valid reason for a dominant or submissive to ignore or disregard a safeword. A safeword means stop and stop now. I believe ignoring a safeword is abuse and anyone who has a partner who does not respond to one needs to exit both the situation and the relationship immediately. There is NO excuse.

Additionally, dominants you need a safeword too. Why? Here is an example, you have your adoring submissive bound and they are lost in the joys of play but you notice Grandma walking up the drive with a plate of homemade cookies to drop off to her favorite couple. Time to stop play, trigger the submissive that everything must stop ASAP, thus a safeword. Or here is a less pleasant example, before coming home for an evening of kinkeriffic play, dinner out included food that you did not realize was going to cause that wonderful joy, food poisoning. The urge to run to the bathroom hits after you have your submissive in a position that could be harmful if they are left unattended. Having a safeword stops play, so you can quickly get the s-type safe and sound so they can hold your hair while you worship the porcelain god. Seriously, d-types not-so-fun things can happen to you as well, so have a safeword.

No one needs permission to end a relationship. Submissives, please I beg of you, do not fall for the malarkey that your d-type must permit the partnership to end. This is crap-oh-la. Any person and any role can say “peace, I am out of here” any time they wish and for any reason.

Speaking of relationship termination, I see this question asked in different ways but in essence, it is the same question daily, “My d or s type has not talked to me 2 weeks (often more), are we still in a relationship?” Here is the brutal answer, no you are not. The real world is not a pretty place and a sudden or gradual decline/stoppage in communication is equal to ending a partnership. It is not pretty, kind, or anything nice but this is the cold truth.

On the subject of communication, for the love of Pete people, remember that you have chosen to enter or explore an adult lifestyle, D/S. I believe this means you must be able to have grown-up conversations. Life is not easy, relationships can be hard, and both require saying things that need to be said even if they are not ‘easy’. So if you cannot have a challenging conversation, please step back, learn those skills before forging ahead in D/S.

There is a saying often used about crime but we need to apply it to the lifestyle and the saying is “if you see something, say something”. It does not matter if you see dangerous behavior from a friend, acquaintance, or stranger, the world is a small town. I feel the D/S community needs to remember this and it is each of our responsibilities to step up and say something. There is no need to be rude or condescending when we do this but as a community, we need to reach out, be kind and yet express the concern. It is true that the person we speak to may reject what we have to say, may not be kind in return, but we need to look out for community members the same we would hope our friends would look out for us. So please, if you see something, say something but remember to do so with kindness, not condescension.

Lastly and I believe this is the most important thing I have to share today, safety is your responsibility. There is no one coming to save you if you do not keep yourself safe. This applies to dominants too. Do not think it cannot happen to you because, news flash, it can and it will if you do not mitigate your risk.

As with all of my writings, please see this disclaimer.

©TLK2021

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razberryyum · 3 years

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TGCF donghua Special Episode Thoughts (SPOILERS for episode & novel!)

Favorite moment:

Of COURSE that amazing ending sequence, which is the mirror of Dianxia's backstory at the end of the first episode, except this time from Hua Cheng's point of view. Speaking of, holy mother of YUM, dear gods, Hua Cheng:

Look at this "hideous" man. I am DROOLING.

Funny thing is, I didn't even know his appearance was supposed to be a secret, that we technically hadn't seen his face yet all this time. I remember we had a super quick glimpse of him in the Banyue pit and I thought that was his reveal, that that'll be all we'll get for now and I was fine with that...that is, until this ending sequence happened and we actually see him in his entirety. My eyes will forever never be the same. What was I even thinking??? The flashes in the pit were absolutely inferior to the real thing. No comparison. He is so gorgeous; I can't WAIT for Xie Lian to meet him next season.

Second favorite moment:

What I love about this scene is first of all it features some of my favorite lines from the novel, "If you don't know what to live for, then just live for me. If you don't know the meaning of life, then take me as the meaning your life." Even though Dianxia was playing it up for dramatic effect, I loved how he crawled towards San Lang and then uttered the lines with such conviction. I LOVED the way the music reached a cresendo during his words--hell, I love the music in this entire episode, this entire show, period. I also love how bittersweet this scene is: here Dianxia is so embarrassed by his own words that he even laughs about them, dismisses them, not know just how much of an effect they had on the person he said them to, how they really did serve to motivate that person to live on, to exist, utterly for him. Not knowing at all that that person he said what he now thinks were silly words to is right in front of him. The irony!

I'm still making my way through the book so I haven't gotten to the part where all is revealed to Xie Lian yet, but I can only imagine how shocking and emotional this particular revelation would be. It'll probably be ten years before we get to see all that in the donghua, if we ever do, but I'm gonna keep on crossing my fingers and hoping.

"I swear, whether in Heaven or or on Earth, you cannot find someone more sincere than me". The subs left out the Heaven or Earth part but it's still such a good line. Love also how San Lang precedes that by trying to reach out to touch Dianxia but is like too afraid to. The donghua really captured his feelings of...I guess I'd call it timid inferiority...so well.

I have a strong suspicion what that ring is (irl, I've seen companies advertising turning ashes into diamonds as a keepsake of your loved ones...never tried it so I don't know if it's the real deal or some kind of scam) and I cannot wait to get to that revelation as well. Putting aside the potential significance of this momento, the fact that Hua Cheng left Dianxia a ring to wear around his neck is already a beautiful gesture on its own.

I already miss seeing how San Lang looks adoringly at Xie Lian. In fact, I think I'm going to miss San Lang for quite a while since next season I think we'll be mostly spending time with Hua Cheng. Not complaining at all since Hua Cheng will no doubt look at Dianxia just as adoringly, but I will miss this cute guy.

Also already missing the cuteness that is Dianxia. I love all his expressions...the way he said "San Lang" just made my heart explode. How can he be this adorable??? Really, bravo to Jiang Guangtao-laoshi, his voice actor, for such an endearing voice performance. I actually started listening to the Qiang Jin Jiu audio drama because I've become a fan. Imagine Xie Lian being super seductive all the time. That's the ear candy I'm enjoying now, even though I only understand like less than half of the plot due to my shoddy Chinese comprehension.

Proud of how San Lang didn't just lose it when Dianxia cradled his face like that. This man really has unbelievable self control.

I loved that they were chatting in bed like an old married couple. I'm sure this is a glimpse into their future married life. 😁

Besides SanLian, I know Banyue was in this episode as well, I still think she's adorable and love her voice, and I'm glad she gets to enjoy a torture-free life now (I am assuming she does).

I'm glad we got this special episode to really close out the season, but I'm still kinda confused as to why we didn't get it at the actual end of the season but rather as an odd stand alone episode like this. Obviously it picked up right where the 11th episode left off, so it would've slotted in perfectly well. I was hoping the reason they held on to it was because they were going to attach a teaser PV for the next season, but alas that wasn't the case. I wonder if they just needed more time to finish the episode. I still don't quite understand how the Chinese donghua industry works: for something seemingly as popular as TGCF, you would think they'd have good enough budget and resources to finish episodes in time and to make more than just 12 episodes. There are other donghua shows I've seen on Bilibili that have blown way past 12 episodes, so I don't understand why they have to stubbornly stick to a dozen only for something like TGCF. Or is it a danmei thing, I wonder. They just don't want to devote the time and resources to danmei shows beyond just 12 episodes? So weird. Again, VERY GRATEFUL we're getting a second season. SINCERELY praying that we get many more seasons after so that eventually they'll finish out the book. God I hope I finish reading before the donghua team finishes putting out the show.

And that brings me to: Current Reading Progress...chapter 160. Look, I'm gonna be honest, I'm just not a fan of the whole jinx demon concept or the Brocade Immortal. I know all mysteries of the week lead back to the gods and their backstory, but as CONCEPTS, I was just NOT into them so I constantly got distracted. I know MXTX-laoshi was under a LOT of pressure from both censorship and just ridiculous deadlines (I was told she had to produce a chapter a day, which is INSANE), so I feel like a douchebag for even thinking anything negative about the book...not to mention I'm only on Book 3 still so maybe all of this will be wrapped up nicely at the end. But for now, yeah, those two as ideas are a bit underwhelming and almost silly (especially the Brocade Immortal) and maybe I don't need the backstory of ALL the gods. Anyway, before anyone yells at me, there's always a chance I might change my mind about all this by the end...which I hope to get to soon. Didn't finish the book in time for this special episode which was my goal, so readjusting the goalpost back a little further...hopefully just a tad...like a few weeks, because I DO want to get to the unrelenting pain soon so that I can get through the suffering and finally to the HuaLian happily ever after ending.

#Tian Guan Ci Fu #Heaven Official's Blessing #HuaLian #SanLian #TGCF donghua

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hotchley · 3 years

Text

the date

Surprise! I’m on holiday now so I’m using the time to try and get some of my WIPs finished. This and yesterdays were the most done, so don’t expect too much from the next two weeks because I also do need to start doing my work.

The temptation to post a spoiler was almost overwhelming, but I refrained so now you get to read the whole mess in one go! Also, funny story, this had been sitting in my drafts since last year and I only just got around to finish it.

There is a happy, alternate ending. Let me know if you want to see it!

Trigger Warnings: references to child abuse and domestic violence, both characters have low self-esteem and negative perceptions of themselves

read on ao3!

It's too early for anyone else to be there. The entire BAU is on leave- and given how often that was interrupted, it makes sense for everyone to be enjoying it whilst it lasts, but it still shocks her to see the entire sixth floor empty.

Apart from one person.

Hotch is sitting behind his desk, dressed casually. It's strange to see him there, frowning over paperwork, wearing a pair of worn jeans and a fuzzy jumper. It makes him look younger. more like Jack’s dad than Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner and it tugs at something in Emily's heart.

She pushes the feeling away. That isn’t why she's here. It doesn’t matter that she is the only one- aside from Dave- that knows the way he rubs his thumb against his other fingers is a way to soothe himself, not an indication that he's lying. It doesn't matter that she knows what his tell is, or that the smile that had spread across his face when she told him it was a date made her heart flutter. It's irrelevant that he’d pulled her closer when they were dancing as though he was trying to convince himself she was real.

She's leaving. And he's with Beth. Beth, who she had only spoken to for a few minutes but had immediately loved. She is everything Hotch needs after the darkness of the past two years. And Emily can't resent her. Not for falling in love with Hotch and certainly not because he loves her back.

He isn't hers. Maybe he would've been. In a different life where his torso isn't a mess of scars left by the same serial killer that had put his wife in the ground, and her darkness was something that didn't stop her from loving others or cause fear, they would've been beautiful. A peaceful garden that made people smile and realise that there was still hope and a reason to carry on.

But it isn't a different life. They live in a world where you can't keep a photo of your loved one in your wallet in case it fell into the wrong hands, and where the phone ringing did not provoke an eye roll at the latest scam, but a cold dread that someone else they loved is dead or gone. They live in a world where she taints everything she touches- apart from him because he has always been darkness and what she doesn't understand was that her touch made flowers blossom where only weeds had ever lived in his ribcage- and a world where he cannot handle his own humanity.

She hasn't knocked before walking into his office since that case in Milwaukee, all those years ago. She thinks of the woman she had been then, but for once, it doesn't hurt. She is still that headstrong and fiesty agent, but she is also more open and trusting. Aaron had changed too. He'd gotten older and more tired. But he trusts her.

Enough that she doesn't need to knock before entering. It feels wrong though, to walk in unannounced. He would know immediately if she knocks that something is up, and she wants to cling to the feeling of home for a few more moments. She clears her throat instead. The smile that crosses her face when he looks up, slightly startled by her sudden appearance, was completely involuntary.

"Why are you doing paperwork?" she asks.

He sets it to the side, looking like a child that had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. "It's only going to pile up, so I thought I would get a head start."

"You deserve to take a break too," she chastises.

He looks down. "I know. Would you like to sit?"

She nods, taking the seat in front of his desk. When she looks at him, it is almost painful. Five years ago, he had called her into his office to snap at her. And she had hated him for it. She knew he was only pretending to not know where she'd gone for college. So she took the knife in her back and plunged it into his heart when she said he didn't trust women as much as men, despite knowing that wasn't true.

He doesn't trust anyone. How could he, when the very people that were meant to love him and keep him safe from the dark were the same monsters that emerged as the sun went down?

But he had looked younger then. Less tired by life and living. And she had been more hopeful. Not naive. She had never been naive. None of them had been. They'd never been given the chance to experience that feeling. But she'd had hope that they could save everyone.

And he hadn't been able to take that from her, but he watched as she slowly lost it. And she watched as he told the team he loved them in a thousand different ways. And she wondered how anyone could ever call him cold. He wasn't cold. Hotch did what it took to protect the honour of the BAU, but Aaron did what it took to keep his family together.

At some point, they had stopped fighting each other and started to blur the lines between friendship and more.

"Did you enjoy yourself last night?" he asks.

She nods. "JJ deserves it. So does Will. Especially after everything that's happened."

Neither of them know what, but something happened when she was at the State Department.

"We all deserve that," he says, almost too quietly for her to hear. One set of words that she cannot say threaten to fall from her mouth.

"Beth is lovely," she says instead. "What does Jack think of her?"

He smiles at the mention of his son. "She's one of his favourite people."

"That's lovely," she says, wondering why it was so difficult to speak to him. There were only two times their conversations had been this stilted: once when he started working for her mother, and once when she first joined the unit.

There's a sudden silence, and she stares past him and at the books lining his shelves. All the ones that could be seen were law-related. What few people knew was that at the very bottom of the shelf, where his desk and chair would cover it, he has books for Jack.

It had thrown her, the first time she'd seen them. She couldn't reconcile the image of Hotch and the image of Aaron. Now the two were interchangeable. Not that she ever actually called him Aaron. He would call her Emily like her name meant everything, but she was a coward. Aaron was too personal.

She'd used his first name twice. Once after Haley's death, when she thought he would retire even though he would never be happy. Once after her own death, when she told him to burn in hell. She regretted that, even now, after forgiveness had been given.

"She deserves better than me. I know that. I think deep down, she knows that too but I just can't let her walk away from me, and I don't know why," he blurts out. Almost like he needed to say something, but everything else was either too personal or too neutral.

But she understands what he means. She always does.

"You need to convince yourself you can love someone without destroying them. You need a reason to look through case file after case file. You need to know that someone will be waiting when you come home, that this is not for nothing."

Aaron stares, and she swallows. It had been so long since she had been this vulnerable with him. Her bad day, when she had let herself feel after so long of not, felt like decades ago. And in some ways, it had been. She had bought and sold a house. He had crumbled and found love again.

"Emily, there is a reason for all of this. You just need to remember it. And some day, you will have someone waiting at home for you, I promise. Just give it time," he says.

She smiles as he says her name. Ian had tainted it. But Aaron says it like it was something precious and beautiful. What she didn't understand was that, to him, it was. It always had been. It always would be, no matter what.

But then the rest of his words register and her smile fades. He already knows she's leaving, had known since she returned that it was only a matter of time. Foolishly he had hoped it would be far, far into the future, when his own health issues forced him to retire. That would be kind though. And the world had never been kind to either of them.

She would walk away now, even though she didn't want to, because she could not stand the memory of the last time she had been in that office. And he would stay, even though he couldn't, because he would not let the team lose yet another person.

"You know why I'm here, don't you?" she asks, thinking about their conversation the previous night. How it had been perfect, but a cloud shaped like goodbye had been hanging over them throughout the night. She supposed that was what life was though.

It didn't make it hurt any less when Dave forced her into Aaron's arms. He had smiled, that soft and gentle one that transformed him from Unit Chief into the man that knew far too much for his age. That still longed for a childhood.

She hadn't wanted to talk about work, or her departure or even Beth. Instead, she whispered to him about the time he had spent working for her mother, and how even then, his suits didn't fit properly. He responded by talking about the evenings they had spent together watching old reruns of the comedies from her childhood.

And it was nice.

And again, she wonders if she was doing the right thing.

"I have my suspicion," he says, trying to keep his tone light. He doesn't want Emily to regret anything. He doesn't want to influence her decision. But in the back of his mind, she's just another person leaving him. And he wonders if he would ever be good enough for anyone, and then he hates himself for thinking that because this wasn't about him.

It is about Emily. And her need for a fresh start.

"You want me to say it, don't you?" she isn't accusing him. She just needs to be sure.

"Need," he corrects. "I need you to say it."

But it isn't out of spite. Or anger. He just needs to know it was her choice. That he has nothing to do with it. That she doesn't blame him anymore. That the thing that had been building between them before- before Doyle, before Foyet made him too afraid to feel anything- has not been destroyed.

"I'm resigning from the BAU and moving to London," she says. Saying it out loud, for the first time, to him of all the people, made the situation so much real.

She hadn't fully processed that she had accepted Clyde's offer. She knew for a while that she would be leaving, but now, the full impact of it hit her. There would be no more crushing hugs from Derek in private after the cases that destroyed them both. No more little toys from Penelope stuffed into her top drawer to make her smile.

No more Aaron seeking her out to ask her silly questions about foreign languages because Jack had expressed an interest in them. No more Aaron making sure she was fine by simply glancing in her direction. No more coffee on her desk after a difficult meeting that he would never confess to making, but which everyone knew was his doing.

No more phone calls too early in the morning begging for a story, a joke, anything, to distract from the memory he had of her in the hospital after Doyle.

No more them, messy and broken and damaged as they were.

He nods. The smile on his face is forced, and she can see him fighting back tears. He doesn’t want her to go. But he also knows that she needs to. She is doing what he had never been able to do: leave, before it all became too much and whatever life they still had left was permanently ruined.

“You’ll take them by storm. Just like you did here,” he says.

She smiles slightly, thinking back once more to her earliest days. “Only there won’t be someone accusing me of being a spy for their boss, which really did define those first few months.”

She meant it as a joke. She really should have known better. He always took these things too literally, so afraid of the teasing disguising a genuine anger that would only come out hours later when he had forgotten the transgression.

“Emily, I never apologised for my actions, but I need you to know-”

“You have apologised. I don’t need to hear the words to know how sorry you are. Also, it wasn’t really misplaced distrust was it?”

“Still. I am sorry. For everything.”

He isn’t just talking about those early days, she suddenly realises. He was talking about everything, from Milwaukee to Benjamin Cyrus to Ian Doyle. She longs to reach across and take his hand, rubbing her own fingers over the skin that he was always worrying, but that isn’t her job anymore.

It never had been. Even if she had wanted it to be.

“So am I,” she says. “I miss the man you were when I first joined,” she adds without thinking.

He frowns, the furrow so much like the look Jack had given her when she told him the previous night that one day, he would also be old like his dad and her. It hurt, to see how similar they were. Maybe it was because, where Hotch had always hated looking like his father, Jack would love it.

“Why?” he asks, voice slightly hoarse. He's afraid of her answer.

“You had more faith in people and their goodness. More hope for the future. I don’t blame you for changing. Still, it was a beautiful belief to witness and be a part of.”

“Haley always gave me a reason to believe in goodness,” he confesses, fiddling with the pen he had set down the moment she walked in.

“Perhaps Beth can give you some more,” she says, without a single hint of jealousy or anger. She has no right to either of those emotions. Women like her, women that only hurt the people they loved and who were harsh and cruel and rough around the edges did not get men like him.

Men like Aaron got soft and gentle women who saw nothing but the best in everyone. It was the only way that they could carry on doing their jobs. The only way any of them could carry on looking into the abyss without flinching was by having something that would be their solace. Something or someone untouched by the horrors of the day and evil of the night.

He has found his solace. She is still searching. Because he cannot be her solace anymore. It isn’t fair to either of them. She's not going to make him choose between loving her and loving Beth. She knows that people could love more than one person, but he already felt guilty for still loving Haley. After everything else she had put him through, she couldn't put him through the pain of knowing that she had always loved him, had always known just what his lingering stares meant, but had just never found the right time to say it all.

"When I said she deserves better than me, I didn't just mean because I'm broken."

"Aaron, you aren't-"

"Stop, let me- let me finish. I am. I have been for a while now. Maybe I was never whole to begin with. I meant that I'm in love with someone else. I thought I was over it, but I wasn't, and it was only when we started dating that I realised."

"Nobody can fault you for still loving Haley. She was torn from you in the most horrific way possible, and if you still love her, that's okay. Your heart has always been too big for just one person."

"I'm not talking about Haley," he whispers. "I'm talking about you."

"Aaron."

"I love you," he chokes out.

He can't. He can't love her. If he loves her, he will end up in a coffin, buried in the ground because she always kills the people that love her. If he loves her, the flowers in his heart that were finally blooming after Haley's death caused them all to wilt would be permanently destroyed.

He stares at her. She looks away. The look on his face is too real. Too much. If she looks at him, she would end up tearing up the resignation and phoning Clyde to say she couldn't do it. She believes that there was a universe in which she was strong enough to stay. A universe in which she was still beautiful.

But in the universe she lives in, she isn't. She is hardened by life and terrified of love. In the universe where Aaron only knows how to say I love you when everything else failes, who had only ever heard the words used out of fear, shouted by a desperate mother as her husband refused to have mercy, she has gone too long without speaking.

"Say something. Even if it's that you hate me and that I'm a terrible person. Or that I'm being cruel and unfair because I am. You're ready to leave and I shouldn't be ruining your fresh start like this but I just-"

"I love you too," she says.

His jaw drops. "Emily," he breathes.

"I- I love you. I don't know when it started or when I realised, but I love you. I have for a while. I just- I couldn't say anything."

"Why?"

The question catches her off-guard. "What?"

"Why do you love me?"

He's not searching for a compliment. He genuinely wants to know why she- with her beauty and strength and power and loyalty and kindness- could ever love him.

"For the same reason you hate yourself."

He laughs. "That's funny. In some twisted way, that's funny. I love you for the same reasons you hate yourself too."

She looks at him. Him, with his tired eyes and gentle smiles. With his twisted definition of love because nobody ever taught him what it really was. Who believed he had to be perfect, or else people would leave. Who led the team with such passion and loyalty because Haley's love terrified him, and it was easy to push her away. Him, who still does not know the difference between safety and happiness and who does not understand where kindness and love differ.

And she knows that she cannot do it. She is not strong enough to love him the way he needs. Maybe a few years ago. Maybe if this was a few years later. But time was a funny thing. It was always working against them.

"I love you," she repeats.

"You won't stay though, will you?" there is no anger in his voice. Just an acceptance she hates. He always accepts things far too easily.

"I can't."

"I know. It's okay. I don't want you to have any regrets. About anything."

He stands, and she follows almost immediately, her body still attuned to his movements. When he walks around to stand in front of her, she wonders if this is the climax of their story. If this is the final moment, where the tension peaks, and everything ends happily.

When he was a child, he pretended his life was like the films he never got to watch in order to escape the reality of it. He eventually accepted that life did not always come with closure and sometimes loose ends could not be tied up.

He holds out his hand for her. "Agent Prentiss. I wish you all the best in the future."

She refuses to take his hand. "You don't want me to have regrets?"

He drops his hand back down by his side. "Of course not Em. Of course not."

Without giving herself time to think, she closes the gap between them and stands on her tip-toes. He doesn't pull away, but his breathing goes uneven as it catches in his throat. He looks down at the ground, unable to meet her eyes.

There is so much about him she wants to learn. So much she wants to memorise but she doesn't have time. So she presses one soft and gentle kiss to his forehead, smiling through the sadness as he relaxes into the touch with a shaky exhale.

He doesn't move. He can't. And so she steps away, clearing her throat, wiping away the tear that threatens to fall.

"Goodbye Aaron," she says, his first name slipping out without her even realising she was saying it.

"You only ever call me Aaron when you're saying goodbye. I'm not sure whether it makes me hate or love my name more," he says.

"For what it's worth, I am sorry," she says instead. She doesn't want to think about the reasons he hates his name. Or the irony of it meaning exalted, when every single person that was meant to protect him failed.

"I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to look back and smile. And be proud of the lives you saved, the family you found. I want you to remember that you made me a better man. That you were right. I wasn't alone."

"None of us were. Will you come and visit me? Maybe help me get settled?"

It is selfish to ask, but she never claimed to be good. Aaron believes she is, but she knows she isn't.

"Of course I will," he promises. How can he not, when he blames himself for every single bad thing that had happened since she joined?

She gave him one final smile before closing the door behind her, ready to start a new life but still feeling like her heart had been torn from her chest. He watches her go, only falling to the ground to sob when the elevator doors close behind her one last time.

In the end, he does not visit. He gets as far as picking his seat, when he realises he cannot do it. He cannot see her. When he phones Derek, pleading for him to go instead, and to take Penelope so Emily cannot be angry, he doesn't even pretend to hide the fact that he has been crying.

Derek doesn't even hesitate. He just says he'll do it.

Emily hates Aaron for being too much of a coward to come and see her, even after he told her to not have any regrets. She hates herself more for not being able to see him when she hears about the emergency surgery. Saving JJ becomes her apology.

Still, it's not enough for her. Which is exactly why it's too much for him. Because even when they're stood across from each other, drinks in hand as they celebrate JJ's survival, they cannot be honest.

And then she leaves him again. He can't blame her.

He blames time. They never had enough. Or the right one.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fic #hotchniss #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #sad aaron hotchner #hotch angst #sad emily prentiss #emily angst #tw child abuse #tw negative self talk #sumayyah writes cm

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miekasa · 3 years

Note

the pre-pancetta snippet: early december, 3 months before the world went to shit

💉levi gets sick [levi grumbles in the background]

it was the pre-pandemic flu season. levi caught it at work and just his luck, it was pretty bad for him. but healthcare is expensive, capitalism sucks, so he wore a mask and still went to work the next day, thinking bedrest during the weekend would be enough. erwin kindly dropped off some sports drinks while hange gave him a new bag of black tea leaves. oc comes home to find him almost asleep at the table while waiting for water to boil for his tea and her senses tingle. she just knows. levi is pretty out of it by then, very pissed, feeling like shit, but still thinking about the slack he has to pick up at work. oc is very concerned because he looks awful. she bugs him and asks him if he’s okay with her checking him up. he is about to tell her to piss off but what the hell, lucky his roomie’s a doctor and he’ll take free healthcare when he can. so he nods once in dramatic brooding levi fashion.

her hands are cool on his forehead and neck, it feels so good, and levi is really trying not to accidentally moan out loud. when she brings out her stethoscope and asks him to take deep breaths, his focus is on her hand absentmindedly rubbing his shoulder [levi thoughts: he’s really out of it if this is all he can focus on]. oc’s brow furrows when she finds out he’s had only one cup of tea for the entire day and only one meal the day before. he says he’s brewing more, but oc is not having it! she heats up some leftover soup she has and makes him eat before handing him a tylenol. levi feels unsteady and weak but he’s trying to keep up the i’m-fine-it’s-just-the-flu facade. oc sees right through it and tails him to his room.

she helps him to bed, all while saying he’ll need meds for the virus and he needs to eat and drink more fluids because he’ll need an IV drip if not. even if it’s just the flu, he got a pretty bad case. levi strips off his shirt before he drops onto his pillows, grumpy and dismissive, telling her to just leave the prescription. he can handle it. oc snorts before leaving him alone (for now)

levi wakes up to rustling sounds and finds oc by his bedside setting up some stuff. his head is pounding, entire body is aching, and his cough is killing his throat. he’s very grumpy and is about to tell oc to just let him be but he gets a coughing fit. oc rubs his back while checking his vitals, her voice soft with worry as she asks him how he is feeling. he says he went to the bathroom but that’s it. he doesn’t see oc frown, but he’s more than annoyed that he is disturbed when she digs him out of the blankets. she helps him sit up, propping him on his pillows, and she makes him eat more soup, drink some tea, and take his meds. his throat is cooling and he realizes belatedly that she made him strong mint tea. he’s just swallowing whatever so he can go back to sleep [levi is trying very hard not to vocalize his disappointment whenever her hands leave him]. oc sighs at the little care her patient has for himself, but she tells him that he needs a drip at this point. she’s not satisfied with how little he’s been eating and drinking. levi is ready to throw hands because he refuses to spend thousands of dollars for 2 hours at the emergency room and get scammed by health insurance just so they can give him IV fluids, but oc surprises him by saying she’s all set up, and if he’s okay with it, she can do it here.

he shrugs and holds out his hand. the skin of her hands are a little rough with a few calluses, her touch so light and sure. the needle pinches but the pain dulls after a few seconds. he watches oc taping up the line and securing his hand to some makeshift splint so it doesn’t move around much. oc hangs up the bottle on the hanger she installed on the wall lamp by his bed before heading out. levi tries to fall back into sleep again. suddenly, he feels a damp cool cloth brush his forehead and his face while another hand runs through his hair gently. he’s groggy and he squirms because what. he hears oc shushing him, saying something about sponge baths for fever, and he’s just so not used to tenderness and care, and she’s sponging down his neck and his chest, running over his arms, turning him on his side gently so she doesn’t jostle him into wakefulness. her hands are firm and gentle as they wipe down his back and it’s cool and soothing and so good over his heated skin. he falls asleep in minutes. this never happens.

he thinks oc drops in once more in the middle of the night because he remembers someone holding him up to take something. when he wakes up the next morning, his fever is gone and he feels like himself again. he sees an empty bottle on his bedside table which means oc must have changed his drip too. the one he’s hooked to is almost gone. he’s in the middle of answering a work email on his phone when oc, already dressed for work, pops in to check on him. she has a tray in hand, looking genuinely relieved and happy that he’s better. his knows his appetite is back because the smell immediately makes his mouth water. he is very hungry after 3 days of soup and tea. she made really good pancakes, fried bacon to a perfect crisp, and the scrambled eggs are savory and creamy. it’s killing him. he can forgive the tea bag from a packet. levi is still a tea snob. oc is cheery, chirping that he’s good to go without a drip as long as he keeps up his food and fluids.

oc: water, tea, or pocari sweat, levi! none of the sugary sports drinks erwin left you, that stuff is a scam.

levi: i don’t have pocari—

oc: i bought you some, they’re in the drinks cupboard!

levi: why—

oc: it’s not just sugar, it has the electrolytes you need!!

she unhooks the IV and takes out his line, lays out his medication regimen and tells him to please call her if he starts feeling bad again. levi rolls his eyes and bats her concern away, grumbling that he’s fine and well enough, but he’s listening to every word she says. he utters a small thank you because how on earth does he convey his immense gratitude in words, he is not used to words!!! his cheeks feel very warm. oc giggles and ruffles his hair. she understands her roomie’s not talkative, but his soft gaze betrays everything beneath his gruff exterior. his shyness is adorable even if he was a grumpy old man while sick. oc thinks that her theory of him being 89 years old deep inside might be right after all. she sternly tells him to rest and lay off strenuous activities until he’s really recovered.

oc: rest. no cleaning today.

levi: my room—

oc: no. cleaning. today.

and just like that, she’s off to work [levi thoughts: wtf she works on sundays?]. all that levi can think of for three days, or more like since that day, are her gentle, comforting touches, her kind smiles, and how pretty she is. he tries, he really tries to push back the thoughts and bury the memories, but all efforts become in vain for him the next week.

he’s reading on the couch and relaxing for the night when oc comes out of her room looking like a fucking goddess. she’s in a deep green dress of flowing silk with thigh-high slit, sporting a dark, vibrant red lip, complaining of some recognition ceremony she has to attend for one of her bosses at work. she pouts while slipping on pumps that make her legs look even more stunning. levi is aware that he is staring and has tuned out her voice, so he forces himself out of it. he remembers basic conversation etiquette and lamely asks about the party. oc says it’s a black-tie-long-gown thing that’s a waste of her time. she twists her hair up in a messy bun and puts on earrings, grumbling that this is the most formal she’ll go. levi is mildly amused when she says she’ll nick a bottle of good champagne and some desserts before she escapes the party in an hour. tops.

levi: what if you get caught?

oc: they can spare one bottle and a few cupcakes

levi: and what reason have you come up with if they start interrogating you?

oc: my roommate is sad and a stress-eat is essential after shitty weeks of being underpaid laborers *cheeky smile*

he rolls his eyes. when she steps out their door (her uber’s there), levi counts to ten before groaning very loudly to let his frustrations out.

but she really did steal and bring home the good stuff, squealing in excitement when she sees that he was still up. he actually waited for her to get home but she doesn’t need to know that. they shared fruit tarts and fancy mini-cakes and worked through the bottle of champagne while bonding over their mutual disdain for assholes at work. conversation was open and easy, and levi cannot remember when he has been this comfortable around others who weren’t old friends of his. he was in an old shirt and jogger shorts. oc was still in her dress, barefoot, lipstick still perfect and bun still messy, picking a strawberry off the last cake while laughing at his dry jab about her boss. and jesus christ, she was exquisite.

at this point, denial begins to trickle in, but levi doesn’t know that yet. it’s just the champagne, right?

end. this was so mf long, i’m so sorry 😭 anyway this is insanely self-indulgent, and this is me coping with the pandemic (and with SnK ending today)

AHHHHHHH I LOVE ALL OF THIS ANON!!! SO MUCH!!!! PLEASE THIS HIT ALL THE MARKS!! Levi being reluctant to having someone take care of him, oc picking up on him not feeling well even though he’s not really showing it, and eventually just giving him the care and attention he needs (without suffocating him because you know he would be grumpy about that). I love this wow, seriously.

AND THE END!! When they’re drinking together and he’s feeling better, you know damn well he didn’t even want her to leave in the first place, and IM SO GLAD HE’S FINALLY REALIZING!! Levi, my beloved, you are in love it is not the champagne 😌😌

#💉 anon #you're so lovely my dear thank you so much for sharing #i kept this for a while just to reread it i love it so much!!#levi.ask #minicanons

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perseusannabeth · 4 years

Text

My Hunger Knows No Bounds - Part 2

Okay, so this is based off a prompt I got, asking me for an Elriel labour fic. I kinda had to end up splitting it in two, because I'm still writing, and this would get super long otherwise. Part 3 is coming soon, I promise! Also I've not properly proof read this so I'm sorry for any mistakes. I hope you enjoy!

Part 1

Read on AO3

Ever since Elain had knocked on his door to ask for some food, they had set up a routine. They hadn't told anyone else about it, especially not their siblings. Cauldron knew that they were all a bunch of busybodies, and would ruin a perfectly good thing with their meddling. Azriel could already imagine his brothers with their knowing looks and raised eyebrows, and he didn’t want to imagine what Elain’s sisters would say or do, especially not Nesta. He knew that they meant well, but there was no way that he was ready for his brothers to start talking about the possibility of him being in a relationship again, and he knew that was exactly what Cass and Rhys would start talking about if they heard about the set up he had with Elain.

Plus, with Cassian and his big mouth, there's no way Mor and Ciara wouldn't find out. While he knew that he could get Mor off his back easily enough (just tell her about Amren's secret relationship), Ciara was a whole other ball game. Unfortunately, with three older brothers, Ciara had figured out very early on in life how to get what she wanted. With their big age gap, the girl was able to get pretty much anything she wanted and get away with murder. He didn't always regret it, but when she turned to use her big fake innocent eyes on him, he wished he was less of a sucker for her games. He even knew she was playing him, and still fell for it.

Truth be told, he wasn't quite sure exactly what his relationship with Elain was. They spent some time together with their family, but that wasn't the same. They spent many evenings together, eating and laughing and talking, just the two of them. Azriel had made quite a few recipes from the blue cookbook his mother had given him. He knew without a doubt that if it hadn't been for Elain, he wouldn't have touched it after the one time he had cooked the biriyani. He found it was quite nice to cook for Elain and to have a secret time that was just for the three of them. The baby was so active that you could never forget about the third person (not quite) in the room.

Elain was so easy to talk to. That wasn't something that he had ever found in a person, not his brothers, not his mother, not Rhys' mum, but somehow, Elain made even quiet, stoic Azriel want to talk. He couldn't quite believe it, but they spent most of their time alone just talking about anything, and he was more than capable of carrying a conversation, and participated in it just as much as Elain did, something which he had never been able to do before, and was very proud of.

They would talk about so many different things, some topics light and fun, some topics dark and heavy. Azriel found himself wanting to share things with Elain and looked forward to these evenings often. To this day, not even his brothers knew the full story about what had happened to his hands. They had pieced things together from what Rhys' mother had said, and when Azriel used to wake up with nightmares, and his aversion to fire. With Elain, he had been the one to bring it up. She had made it so easy to talk about, he hadn't even noticed the phantom pains he got when he usually thought about what had happened, because she had been holding his hands. He hadn't noticed the tears streaming down his face either until Elain had wiped them off his face so heartbreakingly gentle. He had felt at peace when he had told her what had happened like a weight had been lifted off his chest and he could finally breathe.

Perhaps it was the fact that he knew Elain would never judge or pity him because her situation made people judge and pity her. She knew how dirty and horrible the judgement and pity made him feel, how he would do anything to not feel like it was his fault it had happened.

Azriel hadn't wanted to pry about the father of the baby. He knew that Elain had recently moved to the building and that she lived alone. Her sisters would go with her for any baby-related appointments, and Nesta was Elain's birthing partner, much to everyone but Cassian's amusement. Nesta had been so horrified by the birthing video, that she had refused to have sex with Cassian for a week. Both Azriel and Elain had been shocked that they had even lasted a week without jumping each other.

Elain had opened up slightly about Graysen, her ex-fiancé who had left her because his family had put pressure onto him to marry someone more suitable. Azriel couldn’t help but get angry at Graysen whenever he thought about it, because how could someone not have the backbone to stand up for the woman he loved to his family. His father did sound like a piece of work, and Azriel was glad that Elain wouldn’t have to deal with that, but he pitied Graysen for being stupid enough to give in to the pressure and give Elain and the baby up. How this man, who claimed he still loved Elain, could give her and his child up was beyond Azriel, but he was almost selfishly glad of it because, without that, he would never have his nights with Elain.

Social interactions often left Azriel feeling tired and drained, even if the interactions were with his family and friends. It wasn't something that happened all the time, and his family and close friends were very good at reading the signs of him hitting his limit, depending on how sober they are. A drunken Cassian, for example, cannot read any signs of anything, and even if you tell him outright, he still might not understand. A drunken Cassian should never be let into your bedroom at 3 am because he 'missed his favourite broody brother'. It is a scam, and he will cling to you like a koala clings to a tree.

Azriel never felt drained when he spent time with Elain. It wasn't that he felt energised after being with her, he was pretty sure that was a myth. But he did feel calm and at peace after spending time together, happy even. Although his family and friends could make him feel like that, it was different with Elain. She made him feel like that every time they were together. He couldn't quite explain it, but he knew that their dinners were some of the most relaxing evenings he'd had in a while.

He wasn't ashamed to admit that he got excited whenever Elain text him to ask if he was cooking for her. Today was no different. When he had seen that she had texted him, he instantly felt the corners of his mouth start to rise. It had been just over a month of knowing Elain, and he had never said no to her. He was pretty sure that it was illegal to say no to a pregnant woman anyway, but he had never been tempted. Elain was just so sweet, how could anyone say no to her?

When Elain had texted him today, he had been having a boring day. Cassian was off work because Nesta was doing some fancy pants lawyer stuff today, and Cassian was a good boyfriend who was going with her to support her. With Cassian gone, Azriel had nobody to laugh at for being an idiot. Rhys was in meetings all day, so he couldn't laugh at either of his brothers for being love-struck fools who smiled dopily at their phones every time their significant others text them. Azriel tried to tell himself he wasn't jealous of what his brothers had.

Azriel had had to get his head down and do some paperwork which had been mind-numbingly boring, and the reason why he had been putting it off for so long. He had text Mor to see if she was around to save him from being bored, but she apparently had to do inductions for some newbies. Ugh. He hated how everyone in his family had responsibilities.

Just after lunch which he took with Nuala and Cerridwen, where they had a catch up (no Mor it isn't gossiping), he got a text from Elain, asking him if he would cook for her again. Azriel couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, even though Nuala and Cerridwen gave him some funny looks for it. Thankfully, they had been friends with Azriel long enough when to comment on something or not. He had no illusions that they would let it go, they would simply bring it up at a time when he had to answer. They were just so good at getting information out of people.

He spent the rest of the afternoon thinking of which other recipes he could cook for Elain, and what ingredients he had in the house. He probably wouldn't need to go shopping, but he didn't mind if he did need a thing or two. These days, however, he tended to keep his apartment well-stocked in case he needed to cook for Elain at short notice.

Elain had said she had been eating cup-a-soup for the past 2 days and would be for lunch too because, although it was just water and those gross dried ‘vegetables’, that was what she seemed to be craving. He needed to feed her something nutritional because he knew those stupid powered 'soups' had no nutritional value. Over the past month, he had been googling what was good for the baby, as well as making sure that it didn't make Elain feel sick. If he was going to cook for Elain, he might as well make sure that it’s good for her.

He decided that he would also make dessert for Elain, which was something he didn't do as often when Elain had dinner with him, mostly because she would usually want to have something that she had baked. He and Elain had figured out the perfect system so that she didn't feel guilty about eating his food, since there was no way he would let her give him money for cooking, or even for ingredients. He would cook the main meal, and Elain would bring over whatever she had baked. Today, however, Azriel had told Elain he would cook desert himself today. He wanted to surprise her with a dessert from his mother's cookbook. Elain had been enjoying milk flavoured things a lot lately, drinking it at any given moment, even having it with her meals, so Azriel had decided to combine her two favourite pregnancy cravings, sugary things and milk, making a dessert called rasmilai which was a sugary, milky dessert with strange little dough balls in it.

It had been one of Azriel's favourite deserts as a child, and had been craving it himself lately, but had decided to make it for Elain. He knew if not for her, he would have never made it because he was too lazy for that, but making it for Elain was so rewarding that he enjoyed cooking for her. The way Elain’s face lit up was exactly the same as the first time she had eaten his cooking. He wasn’t quite sure what it did to him when she was so happy at the sight of food in front of her, only that it made his chest feel weird and tight.

Azriel decided to finish work at 4, which was early for him, and definitely earned him a few more strange looks from Nuala and Cerridwen but he ignored them with ease. He knew he would be getting grilled about his strange behaviour in a few days after they had snooped around and asked his brothers and Mor about what was going on with him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Azriel drove home, now not even attempting to hide the smile on his face. He seemed to smile more since he met Elain, another thing he didn’t really focus on too much. Or something he didn’t want to focus on. He seemed to be doing that a lot, but then again, Azriel was the master of avoiding thinking about his own feelings. It was definitely not a problem, his siblings had no idea what they were talking about.

Azriel sent Elain a quick text to let her know that he was home and going to start cooking, just in case she wanted to come over and keep him company. It had happened often enough now, Elain laying on his sofa and talking until she fell asleep while he cooked. Azriel would notice she had gone silent and cover her with a blanket, making sure she wasn’t lying in a way that would cause her or the baby any discomfort.

Elain replied as he was getting the milk into a pan, with a ridiculous amount of sugar to boil away, telling him that she would be coming over soon, with a share bag of prawn crackers, that she would not be sharing. Azriel let out a small laugh when he saw her text. He was never sure if Elain was having cravings, or if she just used them as an excuse and this was how she ate normally. Since he had never known her before she was pregnant, he couldn’t quite say for sure.

Thinking about Elain’s pregnancy, Azriel couldn’t help but think about how big Elain was. It was the one thing that put him on edge around Elain, how she looked like she could topple down at any moment and not get back up. He tried not to be overbearing and annoying, but he was always worried something would happen to her and the baby. He had spent more of his free time reading up about pregnancy than he would care to admit. He certainly understood why Nesta had refused to have sex for a week when he had watched a video of a woman giving birth. He definitely did not envy Elain for that.

A knock on the door pulled Azriel from the swirling thoughts in his head. He opened the door, instantly smiling as Elain waddled in, still eating her prawn crackers. He couldn’t help but laugh as she eased herself onto the sofa, still eating.

“Az, the baby likes the smell of whatever you’ve cooked today.”

Azriel couldn’t help but blush at the casual use of his nickname. “Tell the baby thank you, I’m glad someone appreciates my cooking.”

Tags list (if you would like to be added/removed from this please let me know!)

@hizqueen4life @kelly-fasel @sannelovesreading @acourtofmarauders @maastrash @sjm-things @bookstantrash @cursebreaker29 @humanexile @ iammissstark @stardelia @superspiritfestival @courtofjurdan @cass-nes @thewayshedreamed

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#elriel #elain x azriel #azriel x elain #acotar #acotar fic #my fic #text #elain archeron #azriel

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faevi · 3 years

Note

To that anon… before you go and comment on people’s weights or lifestyles, please have a basic understanding of how the human body works. Everyone is different. No two bodies are exactly the same and that is just how nature works. Variance in genetics is how we all avoid becoming inbred. Some people aren’t built to be stick thin. Their genetics will literally not allow it. Everyone has a set point weight where their body is happiest and it will STAY at that setpoint weight so long as a person is not doing something dangerous and drastic with their diet or lifestyle. It is VERY hard, almost impossible, to change that setpoint weight. If every single one of us ate the same meals and did the same workouts since birth, guess what, we would STILL all look different. It’s GENETICS. You can eat well, you can exercise, you can be the healthiest person on the planet and you can STILL be “overweight”.

No one body type is better than another and it is absolutely RIDICULOUS that we value one over others. Approximately 96% of women and female bodied people will NEVER reach what we like to see as the “perfect body”. It is impossible for them unless they do something that drastically impacts their health or could kill them. A body is just that: a body. There is no “perfect” body. There is no “ideal”. Those are concepts we have all been taught since birth that do absolutely nothing but feed into the $70 BILLION dollar diet industry in the US alone. It’s a social standard that is impossible to achieve for most women and it’s turned out to be an AMAZING way to exploit and make money off of people. Shame is a powerful feeling and marketers are well aware of that. It is ALL a scam. The “perfect body”, the idea that losing weight is as simple as doing sports or watching what you eat, even the concept of the BMI scale is ridiculous (it was created by a mathematician, not a doctor, and he had absolutely no medical experience).

Long story short, ALL BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL AND ALL BODIES ARE DIFFERENT. Please do not come onto this platform and tell people that they should “just do sports” when you have not done your research. ESPECIALLY, someone who has already expressed their struggles with their body image. Our bodies are not ornaments or decorations and they are not one size fits all. Bodies are meant to carry us through life and they allow us to experience the world. It does not matter what they look like or how they’re shaped, they all serve the same purpose and no one body type somehow makes life better. Fat phobia is real, it is disgusting, it is nonsensical, and it has shamed and affected MILLIONS of people who would benefit from not being told since birth that there is only one kind of beautiful.

So, again, please do not come on here and make ignorant statements. I spent years studying and learning about weight, setpoint, body shape, all of it. And at the end of the day, we can’t really control it. So, why should we shame someone for something they can’t control?? It’s like shaming someone for their shoe size or how tall they are. Bodies cannot be manipulated in the way that we’ve been taught they can be. They are complex, genetically coded organisms. So, please, do your research and understand the science and social contructs around bodies and weight loss before you come on here and comment on SOMEONE ELSE’s lifestyle. You do not know Fae, you do not know how she lives her life, and you are not her doctor or her dietician. Please make an attempt to understand and try to be kinder and more empathetic rather than harsher and more ignorant. It takes very little effort to be kind.

a long but very educated post that i hope that shitty anon will keep in mind. thank you for this, lovey. it really does take barely any effort to be kind to those around you. i’m sure as hell not the only one who suffers from this.

#fae; message.#fatphobia tw #thank you T Tyou put this into better words than i do #💜💜💜#fae; bree.

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xmxisxforxmaybe · 4 years

Text

Elliot, Just a Tech

Summary: Plagued by not having Admin rights on your work computer, you contact the IT department expecting to talk to your usual guy. However, you are greeted by someone new.

A/N: Consider this post-show

WC: 2596

Warnings: None

You looked over the icons on your desktop for the eleventh time, dragging the old version of Adobe into the trash for the tenth time, and growling with frustration as the error message appeared for what felt like the hundredth time.

Please enter an Administrator’s Username and Password.

After the great email phishing scam the month prior, the IT department had been directed to revoke all employee’s Admin rights to their computers. It wasn’t your fault your colleagues were too dumb to realize that you should not click on email that has been flagged as spam, even if it is a version of your boss’s name: Mattthew Whitman has scheduled a meeting with you at 9 pm!

As if Matthew spelled with three ts wasn’t enough to deter someone, scheduling a meeting at 9 at night should have been, not to mention the exclamation point to top it all off—no one ever enthusiastically scheduled a meeting. Ever.

Alas, no less than 13 people had opened the email, severely compromising the integrity of the network.

You needed to get rid of the old version of Adobe in order for your network’s cloud to allow the download of the updated version, so you were left with no choice but to submit a ticket to the IT department.

You and Matt, no relation to Mattthew your boss, had had several Zoom sessions since the start of the quarantine, mostly thanks to your need to actually get some work done. With so many more people on your network, the IT department was doing the best it could to make sure everyone was achieving basic functionality.

Opening a new work order, you quickly filled in your information and snapped a screen shot of the error message. In less than a minute, you had an email inviting you to a Zoom session.

“Matt’s really on it today,” you said while opening the link and waiting for him to start the session.

You had just glanced away to check your To-Do list when someone opened the Zoom session and you paused, staring at the downturned face of someone who was definitely not Matt.

“Hi,” you greeted awkwardly.

“Hi,” he answered, still not looking into the camera.

“Where’s Matt?”

The stranger looked into the camera, clearly caught off-guard.

“Uh, he’s off today.”

“So they finally unchained him from his desk—good for him!”

The stranger’s eyes widened a little in amusement, but he didn’t smile which caused your grin to quickly fade.

“Are you . . .” the stranger trailed off as he glanced at his other desktop monitor. “Y/N?”

“I am. And you are?”

“Elliot.”

“Are you the new Supervisor they were hiring for last week?”

“Nope. Just a Tech.”

“All right. Well, hi, Elliot, just a Tech. I’m in dire need of installing an update, which I cannot do because my colleagues are dumbasses.”

This time Elliot did smile, and you found yourself reaching up to fix the wild bun on the top of your head, wishing you had actually taken some time out not to look like a troll who had crawled out from under its bridge.

“I see that you can’t install Adobe’s update without administrative permission.”

“Yup. That’s my issue, I think.”

“I want to try something first,” Elliot said, concentrating on the task at hand as he looked away from the camera and to his other monitor.

“Can you locate your system preferences? You can find it by clicking on the appl-“

“Done. What do you want me to go into?”

Elliot looked back into the camera, then gave you a series of steps which you quickly followed.

“I am only semi-illiterate when it comes to technology,” you said, trying again to get him to smile and this time it worked.

Elliot adjusted his headset and lowered his eyes as he grinned. “You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve had to explain over the past few days.”

“Oh, I would absolutely believe them. I’ve talked three people in my department off a ledge just by explaining the magical powers of “Command + Z.”

Elliot chuckled, and the sound of his laughter filtering through the mic on his headset made you want to stay on the call as long as you could stretch it out.

“It looks like the program is not responding. I’ll need to take remote control of your desktop.”

“Have at it.”

You watched as Elliot worked, waiting for your mouse to start moving across the screen, but nothing happened.

“Uh, do you have any error messages on your end?”

“Nope.”

“Let me try one more thing,” Elliot mumbled, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

You sat quietly, letting him work, which gave you an excuse to just look at him and the more you looked at him, the more attractive you realized he was.

Elliot had a stylish haircut, although it looked like his fade had grown in quite a bit thanks to the lockdown. Tufts of straight black hair stood up on either side of his headset and you wondered if they’d be stiff or soft to the touch. His eyes were large, clearly the most enticing of the features of his face, except for his angular jaw that made you softly smile in appreciation of its masculinity. Elliot may consider himself “just a Tech,” but he was a damn good looking one.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” you blurted out, forgetting all of your manners thanks to the lack of social interaction.

Elliot fumbled as he was typing and looked into the camera, his lips parted.

“Oh, lord. That came out . . . blunt. I asked because Matt’s been loving working from home. His wife just had a baby and even though he’s chained up in his home office at all hours of the day he still gets to spend time with the people he cares about. Which is what I was trying to ask you—if you were enjoying working from home.” You finished with an awkward laugh, and a barrage of mental curses to yourself.

Elliot’s lip turned up with a quirk. “My sister stops by to bring supplies, but I live alone.”

“Oh—well, that’s nice you have someone to interact with. I still see my sister, too.”

“I like this. Not having to interact with people.”

“The only downside is the verbal vomit you spew when talking to someone new because you no longer understand social protocol.”

Elliot laughed again, that same breathy little chuckle that upgraded from drawing your attention to making you shift in your chair.

“I’ve never been particularly adept at social protocol. Hence . . . just a Tech.”

You laughed and Elliot must have liked the sound because he stopped to watch you, his eyes flicking over your face through the camera.

“You need to update the Zoom app for me to take over your desktop. I don’t know why yours seems to have this glitch, but are you ready for the steps?”

You grabbed your pen and a fresh post-it. “Lay it on me, Tech.”

Elliot smirked, then listed the steps. “I’m going to close the call, but as soon as you’ve completed the steps, click on our Zoom link again.”

“Got it!”

Your eyes connected and lingered for just a moment before Elliot closed out the call.

You missed him immediately.

“Oh, Matt. If I had known Zoom calls could be like this, I’d have dumped you long ago.”

You shook your head to clear it and began to go through the steps Elliot had listed for you. You wanted to get this right to prove to him that you weren’t incompetent.

Having successfully, and quickly, completed all of the steps on your Post-it, you reinitiated the Zoom meeting.

“You’re quick.”

“I’m sure you’re much, much faster,” you said.

“I can only go as fast as the web connection, unfortunately,” Elliot replied, staring into his other monitor again.

“Let’s try this again—remember the steps to give me remote access?”

“I think so . . .” you said, trailing off as you began to click.

You paused, then your mouse began to move without you.

“Excellent job,” Elliot praised and you knew you wanted him to praise you again . . . preferably away from a computer, maybe in a bedroom—

“All right. So I need to delete, reinstall, and wait for an error message that’s been popping up making this a little harder for people to do themselves.”

You watched Elliot control your computer, and once he got to a point where the app was updating, he paused and turned back to the camera.

“About that girlfriend thing you asked me earlier. Are you seeing . . . anyone?”

“I was . . . about six months ago. By the time I was ready to get back on the horse, the plague struck.”

Elliot chuckled. “Not exactly the best time to start dating.”

“No,” you said softly laughing, too. “I agree with you, about the whole nice not seeing people thing, though. For me, it’s more about setting my own schedule. I get so much more done without constant interruptions just to chat.”

“Kinda like we are now?”

“Hey! We are waiting on a signal to go to space and come back. It’s only polite to give it some time so it doesn’t feel like it’s being watched—like a watched pot never boils kinda thing.”

Elliot smiled, his eyes meeting yours and lingering as you smiled back.

A new box popped up breaking your eye contact and Elliot went back to work.

“Fixed. You shouldn’t have to worry about the next update. We’ve been reporting this glitch regularly so the developers should have it fixed by then.”

“Thanks, Elliot. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s my job,” he said with a slight shrug.

“Well, enjoy the rest of your afternoon,” you said, wishing you had a reason to stay connected.

“Yeah.” Elliot replied, looking at you again with those hypnotic, grey-blue eyes. If they could impress you through a screen, imagine what they looked like in person. “You too.”

You smiled at each other and when neither of you closed the call, you both laughed, Elliot looking a little shy and you looking a little embarrassed.

“I’ll close it. Don’t forget to fill in your survey so big brother knows I did my job.”

“Five-star service, all the way!”

Elliot chuckled again, and you shivered this time, the sound of his voice working its way through your entire body, filling you with a pleasant warmth.

“Bye,” he said, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he ended the meeting.

When the session closed out, you began to think of ways to break your computer so you needed to talk to him again, but before you could pull a purposefully dumbass move like downloading a virus, a sticky note popped up on your desktop.

212 555 0179

Probably breaking work protocol, but text me sometime if you want.

~Elliot, just a Tech

“Oh my god!” you gasped, glancing up at your camera to make sure you really were disconnected, unable to shake that feeling like someone was watching you. You reached for your packet of stickers and placed a fresh one over the camera of your computer—better paranoid than sorry!

“Should I text him now? Is that desperate? Or is it mean to make him wait? Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you said, pacing around your small office space.

“Just a simple hello,” you decided. “First, gotta find my phone.”

After walking through your apartment, you found your phone in the kitchen, unsurprisingly because snacking had become your favorite hobby since the lockdown began. It was a blessing and curse to be able to eat whenever you wanted.

You took your cell back to your computer and smiled again at Elliot’s virtual Post-it note and typed in his number and contact information.

Hi, Elliot ☺️

Hi, Y/N. I hope your emoji means I didn’t creep you out

That’s what this one 😱 is for

Lol. Got it. I don’t really do the emoji thing. They kinda confuse me

Well then! Maybe that’s why we met? You know all the real techy stuff, and I know all the silly techy stuff. I can teach you to emoji like a boss 😎

Sunglasses = boss? Shades? Because bosses are shady?

🤣more like the shades mean you’re just too cool to care. Like a boss attitude. But actually 🤔that’s a really great analysis!

See? Confusing 👽

Confusing as in no one knows what’s really “out there” huh? Wow. I like your way of emojiying (new word, just go with it)

Lol really?

I do!

Can I ask you something?

Sure

Which emoji makes you think of me?

👀🦋💬🧸🧨 😰📱😃

You stared at Elliot’s text, a goofy grin on your face as you tried to puzzle out his emoji story. The eyes, okay, but the rest was sort of a mystery.

Lol! I need to do this in pieces so you can tell me if I’m right or wrong

So, you saw me and thought I was nice? Pretty? Delicate?

Lol pretty

Ok. Thanks, btw. We talked and then, oh boy, this is tough. An exploding bear? Talking to me made you feel like you were going to die? This is not good.

🤣 Poor choice of the firecracker, clearly, but take them as two separate things. What do you associate with a teddy bear?

Um, childhood . . . safety? Protection?

Close! Warm, safe. You seem like a warm, safe person to talk to.

I am grinning like an idiot right now. You are so sweet. But on to the firecracker? Wait! Like sassy? Like I have a firecracker personality?

Yes! You’re funny in a forward, witty way. I guess the “She’s a real firecracker” thing might be a bit outdated.

I LOVE IT. I gotta keep going now. This part is easy, I think. Sooo even though you felt nervous, you took a chance and left me your cell, and now you know it was a good choice because you made me happy.

Almost—when you texted, it made ME happy. Hence 😃 and I have big eyes so I used the big eye happy face.

I.am.dying. That’s the cutest thing anyone has ever done over a text in the history of the world!

Lol. Is there a dramatic emoji because I don’t think anything I’ve ever done is that great.

This WAS great. I’m serious

Do you wanna maybe have dinner over Zoom? God how lame is that?

You respect the quarantine—not lame at all. I’d love to!

They let me unchain myself around 6. I’ll send you a link at 7?

Perfect! But what are we going to order? Shouldn’t we order from the same place to make it more authentic?

Do you like Chinese?

Who doesn’t?

You looked at the location Elliot sent and laughed with the irony that it was your favorite take-out spot.

How did you know that was my favorite take-out spot?

Lucky guess 🤷🏽‍♂️

Well, lucky Elliot who is just a Tech. I’ll “see” you at 7. If we order the same dinner, I’ll consider it a sign that we are meant to take over the world together by eliminating one dumbass’s access to a computer at a time 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♂️

Lol except that would leave me out of a job

We will find you something more meaningful, I promise

Make me a list 😃

You got it! Can’t wait for 7 ☺️

Me either

* * * * *

Tags: @ramimedley @clumsybookworm18 @r-ahh-mi @aboutthatmelancholystorm @alottanothing @sherlollydramoine @txmel @diasimar @hah0106 @flipper-kisses @rami-malek-trash @ramisgirl512 @dancing-disco-deacy @just-a-queen-bee @eightiesriot

Maybe a Part II?

#Elliot Alderson #elliot alderson x reader #female reader (but it is pretty ambiguous)#elliot alderson fanfic #elliot alderson imagine #fluff #for now #Rami Malek character #rami malek fanfiction

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bastard-of-the-barrel · 3 years

Text

Some words about Ninth House by @lbardugo

Plot

I read avidly. Slowly at first, since from the first pages it was not clear what was going on here, but then I figured it out and could not stop. It was hard to get used to the fact that the plot jumps between the present and the past, and although the chapters were signed ("winter", "last fall", etc.), I was still confused at first until I remembered that if there is this character, then this is the past and if he is only mentioned, then it is present. Also, initially I was confused about the names of houses and so on, but who said it would be easy? The end seemed a little crumpled, but like in the real Agatha Christie’s detective - with an analysis of motives and actions.

Characters

I'm in love with Leigh's characters. I can't even compare them to other characters in her books, because all of her characters are unique. Of course, there are common features or motives, but in general, all the characters are very different and lively. Alex reminded me of Kaz with her desire to survive at all costs, but they also have many differences. I don't know why, but something in the Darlington’s behavior reminded me of Wylan, although mostly he strongly resembles Gansey from the Raven Cycle.

Another thing that I love about Bardugo's characters is their backstory. Leigh's books teach how much the events that happened to him/her affect a person. Nobody gets bad just because it happens. Everyone had a moment that changed everything, left their scar and trauma. You may not understand this person, suspect him, blame him for everything, and then suddenly you find out about what happened to him and you start looking at him with different eyes. This does not justify his actions, but it allows you to look at them from a different angle, discern new motives and fears.

I love how Bardugo skillfully uses the power of names. Your true name is your protection. Learning someone's name means making a connection between yourself and that person. I would like to tell you more about my thoughts on names, but I don’t want to spoil, so I’ll keep the theory to myself for now.

Book reviews

I read reviews of other people for the sake of interest. Someone was outraged that he could not understand the magic of the new world, someone did not like the "new Bardugo". I strongly disagree with them. We are gradually getting to know the Houses, and there is enough time to sort things out if you want to. Yes, a lot of letters, yes, scary-dreadfully-disgusting. But this magic is not difficult to understand. If in Grishaverse magic is a science, then here magic is rituals. You shouldn't wait for beautiful flashes and waves of sticks. A lot of blood, a lot of pain, abomination, bugs and other things. That’s a book for adults, after all. Yes, not the Grisha trilogy. It’s something cooler - not in the meaning that Grishaverse is much worse than the Ninth House, but in the fact that now everything is much more real. If, when reading the Grisha trilogy, you might think: "Poor children! Well, the main thing is that these are all fictions, there is no magic in our world, so the Shadow Fold not threaten us," then here we are faced with magic in our world. And now magic is a real scam.

But I should return to the book.

Lots of drugs, sex, obscene language. Thanks to this, it was easier for me to believe in the truthfulness of what is happening on the pages of the books. I do not like foul language, but without it I would never have been imbued with the book. Seriously, students who lead a monastic life and talk in a literary language? Pffffff.

General impression

The book is positioned as a horror, but it didn't seem to me like that. There were some nasty moments for me, but they only made this book more real. On the Tumblr, I found some interesting theories and now I want to re-read this book, but now with knowledge of the ending and the fan theoris. In general, in my opinion, the best books are those that you want to read again immediately after the first reading, in order to look at all the events already knowing where they will lead. There is nothing better than the small details that all hinted at the truth all this time.

Is it worth reading?

People who have read other Bardugo books know that if you prefer happy endings, then it is better to pass by her books. Well,

there are

happy ends in her books. But they cannot be perceived as such after all this horror that the characters had to endure - and we together with them. Starting Ninth House you should not think of this book only as Grishaverse 18+. Consider this book as something new, forget that Leight Bardugo wrote it. This will give you a better understanding of the world and will not cause confusion. However, if you know her books very well, you will surely feel

who

wrote these lines.

Now I look forward to the sequel to meet my favorite characters again, and when enough people read the book to have someone to discuss it with (at this moment I annoy my best friend with my sighs and attempts to share emotions without spoilers; she can't read the book yet). So happy reading and feel free to write to me if you want to discuss the book or something else!

#ninth house #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #book review

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thegoodomensdumpster · 4 years

Text

ABOUT SHADWELL AND TRACY

OK so. This is probably going to be the meta nobody asked for + the meta that has already existed for 30 years ( I read a bunch of it before the show came out, but I never found one tackling what I’m going to talk about, so chances are it exists but I missed it and now it’ll be impossible to find ). I’ve been wondering, a lot, how exactly the relationship between Tracy and Shadwell was narratively useful. (Especially Shadwell, what is up with Shadwell, really??? Why did he have to be ... the way he is???) Don’t get me wrong : I know perfectly well how nearly everything / everyone in Good Omens mirrors something / someone else. The Four Horsepersons / The Them obviously, a perfect mirror of humanity’s problems (self made be it for Death ) and how to fix them ( with hope, courage, love, and proper education for newest generations who are dealing with passed mistakes… )

And then all the duos echo each other and act as informations about every character . Crowley / Aziraphale Newt / Anathema Tracy / Shadwell So I had the nagging suspicion that Tracy and Shadwell would, perhaps, make more sense to me if I started comparing them to each other and to their counterparts.

After all, that’s how me (and dozens other meta writers) have managed to understand Newt and Anathema.

Newt is reasonable and rationnal, and he is also free and questionning. Anathema has lived a life devoided of surprises, all according to the Great Plan prophecies of a long dead ancestor she can not directly talk to.

Newt and Anathema get together because of the prophecies, but STAY together because they chose to, and Newt is the one to bring that choice to Anathema. Do I need to say which of them echoes Crowley and which of them echoes Aziraphale ? What about Shadwell and Tracy then ?

Welp. Let’s dissect them, shall we ?

Madame Tracy is, arguably, the most formidable character of the lot. OK, I may be a bit bias, I adore the woman. But with good reasons !

Deep down, she’s got one of the – if not the – strongest moral compass of the whole characters cast. She has confidence in her morals and ethics enough to trust a supernatural entity who just invaded her body( after being rightfully offended and scolding him a little ) AND to then go against said entity, an angel of the Lord, when he’s about to do something reprehensible.

Badass. But on the surface, what is she ? She’s a marginal, a prostitute, a con artist (something that I’m not entirely happy about as I find it morally reprehensible, but it is very likely she pretends to be a medium to be some sort of cheap psychiatrist to people who can’t afford it so… I’ll allow it. But anyway, it is also important that she’s not a parangon of pure unaltered virtue, so this makes sense). She is all the things Shadwell says she is, and in his mouth ( as well as in the eyes of society) they are insults. Worse : she exudes femininity, she is comfortable in her sexuality, she’s a businesswoman, she’s self-sufficent and financially independant (she’s even the one who gives money to Shadwell…). None of this is bad, but most of it is (or, hopefully, was) regarded as bad.

Ok, we got Tracy figured out. Let’s try to understand Shadwell now. Shadwell… Is also a marginal, in a way (he has been to prison, after all, if we include TV Omens canon). But he’s another kind of marginal.

He is not financially independant (again, see : asking money to Tracy, and also, scamming Crowley and Aziraphale for years, which is a way bigger and morally reprehensible con than whatever Tracy is doing with her fake medium act. But tbh, I’m so impressed he scammed not one, but two supernatural entities for funding the same useless organization, I can’t be mad at him. Not for that, I mean.) He isn’t nice, he isn’t polite, he … seems to be everything Tracy isn’t. And, as Tracy is a beacon of light and kindness, it makes sense Shadwell would be a rude blackhole of hatred. But, more than being a lightsucker, Shadwell’s opposition to Tracy makes sense if we shift the way we look at them. Tracy is what society deems morally reprehensible but she isn’t immoral, and more than that, she is very modern. Confident in herself. Taking her fate into her own hands. Turned towards the future.

Meanwhile, Shadwell is entirely turned towards the past, so much so that his traditionnalism is too much by present’s standards, and that is the bit that makes him the most marginal. He wears his sexism and his homophobia as badges of honor, and runs A WITCHFINDER ARMY. A very definitely outdated organization that has for goal : BURNING WITCHES. And gays, too, but mainly witches. This is an activity that was once considered ethical, necessary, ultimately good, but isn’t anymore. Heaven approved of the Witchfinders’ Army on these « morally good » premisses, and Hell approved of it on the cruelty and horror it was actually responsible for. Society has moved on. Shadwell hasn’t. At least in surface . Because, just like Madame Tracy’s activities as a prostitute and self-made woman can raise eyebrows but ultimately don’t define her as a moral person, Shadwell… hnnngh, this is more difficutl to say this about him, but when time comes for him to act on his rotten outdated thrown in our face moral principles, he is actually siding with Tracy. He protects her, he refuses to shoot Adam, he chooses to do what he finds to be morally good, and he and Tracy share the same morals.

(Also the one time Shadwell thinks he has killed someone he is genuinely shocked, so he is far from being a cold blooded killer. Only when he wants to protect Tracy or prevent Armageddon - and after Aziraphale has shown he isn’t really dead - does he threateningly raise his finger again. ) ((But homophobia and sexism aren’t a good look on him. Or on anyone else, for that matter. It’s not charming. Tracy, why were you charmed ???? WHY ???? ))

And we can only suppose that Tracy, beacon of light that she is, able to see the best even in the scum of the Earth, already knew that Shadwell and her agreed about what was ultimately important. They’ve had, possibly, years of interactions before the plot of GO kicks in, and maybe Shadwell hasn’t been so consistently horrible all this time and showed her a better side ? I hope ??? But, anyway, the thing is : these characters, Tracy and Shadwell, are made to mirror some of the best and worst things coming out of humanity. Tracy being kinda the worst possible carreer and personnal choice for religious bigots, and Shadwell being so deep into bigotry that it made him terrible even by bigots’ standards. Shadwell’s speech would have made him a hero a few centuries ago, now he’s just a lunatic. Tracy would have been burnt at the stake for her life choices. Now she’s… well, not in danger, at the very least, and besides Shadwell, all the GO characters seem to respect her. ( Or fear her, as is the case for Newt. ) ((I’m joking, I think he likes her, but confident people intimidate him.)) So. We’ve got Tracy who has built herself her own moral compass and is confident in the choices she made despite the hostility and difficulties she may have encountered, and Shadwell who lives according to a bunch of bigotted outdated rules he doesn’t actually believe in all that much. HA. Why does that ring a bell, I wonder… For the sake of not letting any ounce of ambiguity floating in the air, I’m going to spell it out :

Shadwell and the Witchfinders’ rules echo Anathema and her prophecies, and Aziraphale and Heaven’s indoctrination. Meanwhile, Tracy echoes Newt and Crowley for their marginality and self-made moral code (ok it’s less obvious for Newt especially if you haven’t read the book but he is the kind to question stuff constantly, to the point he hesitates a lot and has troubles finding his place in the world, but his – tiny - character arc is that he becomes able to question correctly and make decisions and help others make decisions).

The interesting thing is, in a way, Shadwell embodies the worst surface aspect of being a bigot blindly obeying outdated rules, while Tracy is the best possible outcome of a marginal making a life for themself. Newt and Anathema place somewhere in the middle, Anathema being able to let go of the thing that was ruling her life, and Newt is in the process of learning who he is, getting comfortable with that person and finding a place for himself in the world.

As for Crowley and Aziraphale, their long lives has thrown them in morally grey areas for a looong time, but at the end of GO, once freed from Heaven and Hell -but especially Heaven as Aziraphale has the most work to do to also get rid off his endoctrination completely- they are free to join Tracy, Shadwell, Newt and Anathema into finally becoming the most blooming versions of themselves. It is not too late, no matter how dark or how far back they’re coming from.

But !!! I am not entirely done.

The sword. And the gun. Both weapon given - more or less – to humanity by Aziraphale. The flaming sword, given at the very beginning to Adam and Eve hoping they’d use it to protect themselves, and that ends up in the hands of War. The thundergun, not given but required by Aziraphale to be put to use, right as the Armageddon is about to put an end to humanity, and to be used, this time, to kill someone. And, as I mentionned, both Shadwell and Tracy refuse to shoot.

Aziraphale cannot make humanity obey him, now can he ? Because that’s what it is, ultimately. Humanity. And, as always, free will. Because Tracy and Shadwell represent certain extremes and a lot of grey areas of humanity’s morals and diversity of personnalities, they are -almost- perfect ambassadors of humanity as a whole. Good and Evil bear no meaning around them, they refuse to fit neatly into any category, especially when scrutinized through the lenses of different places and eras as ethics shift constantely. Shadwell shows that even garbage trash men can show empathy, Tracy is the most merciful and kind person, which doesn’t prevent her from being surprisingly strong and adamant when needed. Shadwell and Tracy are part of each other’s life, against all odds, and even if it might have been just because they were neighbours at first, they ultimately chose to remain together. All duos chose to stick to their counterpart in the end. All of them represent the many contradictions of humanity, and how love is the ultimate way to live along together. And they use their free will for love. And while I would not, ever, EVER want to interact with a Shadwell IRL, I now see why it was important to make him the way he is depicted. From a narrative point of view, it was important to make him seemingly irreedemable, only for the one character he harrasses the most to trust and love him, because Tracy knows he, actually, isn’t as bad as it may seem. Because people who might seem horrible are not necessarily the ones who are. Because even Shadwell can love and be loved. And because everybody can improve.

Now, I do not know why the sexism and the homophobia had to be the main choices to convey how much of a bigotted idiot Shadwell was (No, I mean, I think I know why: probably because killing witches and gays were the Witchfinders’ Army main goals, but still, it’s tough on modern audiences - whether this should be taken into account by authors is... quite a debate to have, and maybe the main reason it bothers me? idk idk, I’ve already thought too much at this point). Because despite the fact that some of his lines and his excellent actor made him nice to see on screen (or read in the book for that matter), I have a very hard time liking his character. But that might be the point. I don’t know. Only Tracy can love him. But at least now, it makes more sense to me.

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anexplanationofunfortunateevents · 4 years

Text

BUT HIS [SON’S] [IRRELEVANT AND PROBABLY FAKE] EMAILS!

In a world where people were trying to do their jobs, this story would not make sense to anyone, now or ever. But because we live in the dumbest fucking timeline, you need to know the shape of the Trump cartel’s latest disinformation campaign against the American democratic process.

Former Vice President Biden is being attacked through his family, which means that his family’s story is the vital context here. Back in the ‘70s, when he was Senator-Elect Biden, his family was in a terrible car crash. His first wife and their young daughter were killed. His sons Beau and Hunter survived, though Hunter suffered a traumatic head injury. The boys went about 80% Parent Trap to convince their dad to marry his current wife Jill, and both grew up and went to law school. Beau became the attorney general of Delaware before dying of cancer in 2015. Hunter went on to a lucrative career in the private sector despite an intermittent struggle with substance abuse, which is a common aftereffect of psychological trauma and brain injuries.

Republicans generally believe that being a Yale Law grad with a wealthy father and a history of substance abuse qualifies someone for the Supreme Court, but for some deeply principled and intellectually honest reason, they have decided that Hunter Biden’s employment in the field of transportation and energy can only be a sign of spectacular corruption. So nefarious and sinister was the Biden family’s treachery that they managed to destroy every iota of evidence before multiple investigations by Senate Republicans could find any of it!

Obviously this little tabloid narrative was derailed when Trump went and got his dumb ass impeached over it. But it’s the middle of October, Trump’s down ten points in the polls, and he made the mistake of replacing the wildly unethical FBI director who threw the last election for him with a guy who at least knows to act professional, so he’s looking for a Hail Mary pass. In the wackiest of coincidences, some random Trumper had what he says might be Hunter Biden’s various hard drives, one of which apparently contained a backup of his most sensitive videos and text messages, in his computer repair shop. Of course this man did the only sensible thing and, uh, copied every file in the drives one at a time before bringing it to Trump’s TV lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, and then the FBI. Giuliani, who was a former federal prosecutor before becoming the former mayor of New York City and current new bestie of Random Tech Store Guy, handled this situation with the assistance of someone who has a mere “50/50 chance” of being a Russian agent. (Poor old Rudy does appear to have limited communication skills beyond his personal safe space of a noun, a verb, and 9/11.) It’s unclear to me whether Giuliani or Tech Store Guy was the one who shared the hard drives with Steve Bannon, the white supremacist propagandist and former Trump campaign manager who is currently under indictment for fraud.

As with a lot of Trump trash, it’s impossible to describe without sounding like you’re exaggerating for comedic effect, but the stakes are too high for any of it to be funny.

Over the weekend, a right wing tabloid published what it said were emails from one of Hunter’s laptops. (Reporters at that particular tabloid do not believe the story.) The emails don’t show any wrongdoing by the vice president and seem fake for a lot of reasons – but never mind, the bullshit laundering worked well enough to get some supposed actual reporter to harass Vice President Biden about it, and then a bunch of other supposed actual reporters to collapse into their fainting couches when Biden responded with appropriate impatience.

That apparently didn’t have the hoped-for effect. The next day, what appeared to be a series of highly emotional text exchanges between the vice president and his son appeared. There was nothing even vaguely scandalous in these, to a point where it’s not immediately obvious why anyone would bother publishing them. My best guess is that it’s meant to throw Biden off his stride by trying to hurt and humiliate his son, though it may also be an attempt to soften the ground for an even more theatrical reveal.

A lot of Very Serious Politics-Knowers have deluded themselves that the But Her Emails debacle of 2016 was the legitimate kernel of a story that was “blown out of proportion.” But Her Emails was about people a) having some degree of misogyny, conscious or unconscious, which led to a bias against Clinton and b) wanting to tell other people and/or themselves that it wasn’t because she was a woman. They understand that the But Her Emails-ing was a) enormously consequential and b) incredibly dumb. They don’t want to think too hard about that tension, because if they did, they’d have to take responsibility for how the dumb thing became so consequential.

Meanwhile, Trump campaign insiders know better than the rest of us how much they cheated in 2016, but they’re still people and therefore susceptible to the cognitive bias that they got what they wanted because they earned it somehow. The closest thing they had to an above-board strategy was yelling “emails!!” a lot, so they expect yelling “emails!!” to be successful again. They’re just desperately throwing pasta to see what sticks – but Joe Biden is a man, so they’re throwing it at the theory of relativity instead of the refrigerator door.

There are differences between 2020 and 2016 which are significantly less depressing. Trump’s co-conspirators are resorting to ridiculous methods because so many of the key players who made the 2016 operation work are actually facing punishment for some of their crimes. Paul Manafort is under house arrest. Wikileaks guy Julian Assange is in jail. Social media companies, especially Twitter, were prepared to slam the brakes. Some mainstream reporters have refused to learn their lesson from 2016, but others were prepared to be critical. And, I cannot emphasize this last one enough, voters are more prepared for it. So Team Trump isn’t as good at doing the crimes as they were four years ago, even if they were as good at it they wouldn’t be able to use traditional and social media as effectively as they did last time, and even if they could adjust to that they’d have a harder time manipulating us. Maybe it got frustrating and boring for you to hear and talk about the 2016 attack for years on end, but the whole point of that was that we needed to be ready for exactly this scenario. So far, it seems to be working better than I would have hoped.

Obviously, this is infuriating. All else aside, putting this enormous, invasive pressure on a private citizen’s mental health and substance abuse problems is abusive and gross and genuinely dangerous. I don’t give a shit who his dad is, it’s fucking evil. We need to be ready to remember everybody involved in pushing this story – not just the con artists behind it, but the “mainstream” reporters who validated it in their behavior toward the Biden campaign or who spread what were (allegedly) entirely personal text messages of no news value.

But first, we need to win next month. On that front, I want to reiterate what I said when they first started cooking up this story late last year: it’s actually encouraging that they’re resorting to something like this, because it means they’re flailing. They haven’t been able to make FBI Director Wray abuse his power in the way former Director Comey did, despite the fact that the only real tool they had to manipulate Comey four years ago was taunting and pressure from conservative media. They don’t have a cutout like Wikileaks to launder the documents for them. Most importantly, they’re trying to influence voters’ opinions of Biden because they think voters’ behavior still matters. The only thing Trump knows in life is how to get away with a scam. If they thought they had it “rigged” they would be trying to act normal, because spending the three weeks before a heist reminding your marks of what fucking criminals you are doesn’t help you get away with it.

One last thing: this is a less obvious reason why it’s important to vote as early as you can. All these other increasingly desperate stunts depend on the ability to overwhelm everyone all at once, without enough time for them to be debunked or brought back into proportion. The more early votes are in the bank, the less effective their next stink bomb can be, and if it can’t be effective, there are a lot of people around Trump who would rather save their own asses from prison than help him throw it.

#trump russia #disinformation #joe biden #election 2020

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7team7 · 4 years

Text

Choosing Fate: Chapter 5

Fanning the flames. // Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

A/N: I hope this chapter gives you more insight on the oh so mysterious ~uchiha clan~

“Dedicating yourself to your books again, I see,” Fugaku observed. Hard to read as always, Sasuke couldn’t tell if he approved or not. He decided to be blunt.

“It’s because of her. She’s smart. It would be unwise to let it all go to waste just because she had to marry me.”

“I see. Be sure to use your time wisely.” He walked out of the study, leaving Sasuke feeling frustrated. It grated on his nerves to think of his father disapproving of how he spent his time with his wife. If Fugaku gave Sakura trouble for doing a little reading of all things, Sasuke would have a hard time holding his tongue, he thought.

He grumbled to himself as he finished laying out the materials for the evening. Since when did he get so protective over this little pink woman?

Said woman walked into the room, her hands hardly done drying after finishing washing the dishes from dinner. “Okay! I’m ready now. I didn’t want to leave your mother with all that work, sorry.” She was a bit late, but Sasuke waved his hand and said awkwardly, “No need to apologize.” It wasn’t like he was anxiously waiting or anything.

Sakura, though, had been waiting all day. She didn’t want it to seem like she was shirking her duties as a wife, even taking care to make a particularly labor intensive stew for dinner so that she wasn’t spending all her time locked away in the little room with Sasuke. No, her priorities were perfectly balanced.

“So what are we doing today?” she asked eagerly.

He gestured to the thick, dusty books on the table and the scattered loose leaf papers, “Some history.”

Uchiha family history, to be exact. He had given her tons of readings on medicine, agriculture, literature, but she was still mostly kept in the dark about the family she had married into. Sasuke was incredibly proud of his heritage, even if he had a few issues with the way things were run lately. He didn’t want Sakura to have another reason to resent their situation, but she deserved to know what she had married into.

“The Uchihas have a long-spanning history. My ancestors are some of Konoha’s founders.” Sasuke ran his hand reverently down the cover of one red book. The family tree was updated recently to include Sakura. The blank spaces for his and Itachi’s children stared back at him uncomfortably.

“Our ancestors,” Sakura softly corrected. Might as well embrace her life as Uchiha Sakura, at least out of respect for the elders before her.

When he swung his head from the book to look at her, Sakura thought he might narrow his eyes and spit out some remark that she wasn’t a pure Uchiha like he was. Instead, he smirked, “They certainly didn’t have your hair.”

She giggled, suddenly feeling shy, and turned her attention back to the table. “What’s a pottery book doing with all this? You pulled a metal working one too,” Sakura pointed out. Smart girl, but this time Sasuke hadn’t made a mistake.

“Haven’t you wondered what my father and I are up to when we leave the house?”

“Of course I have.”

He was a little stunned at her nonchalance, so he asked grumpily, “Well then why haven’t you asked?”

She shrugged, “You never seem to like it when I ask questions.”

He blinked and set his shoulders. Oh. That was true. He should work on that. Sasuke continued gruffly, “We go to sell our wares, but all of them are made by the clan. For generations we’ve specialized in firing pottery and metalworking. We’re able to withstand the high heat needed to do this kind of work. Fire is our specialty, I guess. Some of your father’s field tools are probably made by an uncle of mine.” This time, she didn’t even have to ask, the explanation just spilled out of him.

“Artisans, merchants...what can’t your family do?”

“Heal,” he said meaningfully.

“What if I went into town with you next time? You know, to sell my medicine. I’m sure it could help people besides just Mikoto-san.” They had wrapped up their history lesson for the day and were preparing to go to bed.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”

“I could go at a different time than you and your father if scheduling or space are a problem?” The market was rather packed at peak hours.

“No,” he rejected quickly, “You cannot go alone.”

Jade green eyes blinked in surprise. “What? Why not?”

He shifted uncomfortably, “The Uchihas are an old clan, remember? That means they’re very...traditional. Conservative, even.” He didn’t want to spell it out for her, knowing that many of the elders held outdated, even discriminatory, views. His Uchiha pride was often conditional these days.

Now, Sakura’s eyes narrowed. “I see. So I would require some sort of escort to protect me while I go sell what I worked hard on. I understand. Wouldn’t want to get scammed.”

He sighed. “If you ask, I will give you permission. It’s a formality. But…” he trailed off.

“But what?”

“But I would still want to go with you. It’s not always safe to go alone.”

It was Sakura’s turn to sigh. “I’ve been to the market plenty of times by myself. Remember?” Those days felt so long ago. The handsome stranger at the market was now her husband, but she couldn’t tell how much more familiar he had become with her really. He opened up slowly, giving her bits and pieces, but there was still so much left to be desired.

“Of course I do. That doesn’t mean I can’t worry about you.”

She gave him a meaningful look. After a pause, “Your mother...when she goes out, she visits other members of the clan?”

“Most of the time, yes. Nearly all her friends are Uchihas.”

“So if I wanted to go visit my family, I’d have to get your permission?”

His heart squeezed. Wasn’t he part of her family now too? “Yes.”

“I see,” she clipped.

“Well, there are some family members you can visit at will.” He wanted to save another conversation from going south.

His heart squeezed again seeing the ray of hope light up her face. “Really? Who?”

“My brother and his wife.”

Sakura couldn’t help but hum happily as she prepared to venture out. She felt like she woke up on the right side of the bed that morning. Itachi and Izumi lived close by, but leaving the house felt so liberating, she would’ve taken any opportunity to stretch her legs. She hadn’t seen them since the wedding and even then she didn’t get much of a chance to speak with them. She wondered what they were like, if the brothers were similar.

“Do we need to bring anything?” Sakura asked her husband before they set out.

Sasuke shrugged, “It’s just Itachi.” His brother would appreciate that they bothered visiting at all. Despite his need for privacy, he knew Itachi missed him.

“What I meant was do I need to bring anything?” Whether it was a jab at the gendered expectations within the Uchiha clan or her desire to impress, the answer was still no. Sakura sighed and decided to bring a jar of herbs, just in case. It would be rude to show up empty handed.

Their house was significantly smaller than the main house, but it still stood proudly with the classic Uchiha elegance. When Itachi opened the door it was with a warm expression, but Sakura couldn’t help but note how tired he looked. She ought to bring ginseng next time.

Izumi seemed a little on edge, but quickly relaxed after some careful small talk. She had kind eyes, but like Itachi, she looked tired. Sakura couldn’t help but notice that her hair was a bit thin and she moved without much energy. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but after observing her sister-in-law for the majority of the visit, she could tell something was wrong.

“How have you been, Sakura-san? Settling in comfortably, I hope,” Itachi said smoothly.

“Ah, everything has been..fine. I miss my parents and my siblings, but I don’t have much else to complain about,” Sakura spoke with equal diplomacy. She still had yet to figure out why they did not live in the main house and wanted to tread lightly.

With this, Itachi visibly eased up a little, “Oh? So my little brother has not been too disagreeable in the mornings?” This caused Izumi to laugh too, a more full bodied sound than Sakura expected from someone who appeared rather delicate. They both gazed fondly at Sasuke, clearly full of affection for someone who was just as much a younger brother as he was a husband.

Sasuke grumbled beside her and quickly switched the subject, “It’s been fine. We came because Sakura just learned about some of our clan’s more backwards expectations. She should know where you live.”

The other couple nodded in understanding, “It is unfortunate, isn’t it? Don’t let our father hear about this. He cannot know that his own children oppose the long standing, ah, values that our clan upholds.” Sakura heartily agreed, “I’ve tried to keep my interactions with your father to a minimum, he’s a bit intimidating. Your mother is lovely, though.”

More laughter from Izumi and Itachi: “You’ve learned our family well already. Father’s loyalties are often with the clan at large, but he means no harm. He’s too proud to ever consider that he’s wrong. And please make sure my mother doesn’t spoil Sasuke too much, he is her favorite.” Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Don’t let them pressure you too much,” Izumi advised with particular urgency. “I hope you don’t mind me speaking so plainly, but between two sons and their wives, an heir will be born soon enough.”

The gears in Sakura’s head clicked into place and she understood. Even if Fugaku was not so cruel as to effectively banish his first born son to a different home, the pressure he put on the couple to produce a child forced them away. Sakura supposed she and Sasuke weren't subject to the same pressure yet because the older son should have a child first if all went according to tradition.

“If it will be, then it will be,” Sakura said firmly. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t take care of your health in the meantime, or all the time.” She bowed her head in promise, “If you want, I can try to help.” She had a bit of knowledge on fertility (admittedly, some from farm animals) and women’s health that could be useful.

“Oh?” Izumi said with great pleasure, “We have a doctor in the family now?”

“She took care of Mother when she got sick recently. Don’t let her trick you into thinking she doesn’t know much. Her abilities are nothing short of impressive.” He didn’t expand on the lessons he’d been giving her, but he already felt bashful following his easy praise. She was his wife, after all, he supposed.

“Ah, thank you, Sasuke,” she said softly before clearing her throat. “If you’d like, I can visit more frequently and suggest herbal medicine to foster greater wellness for the both of you. And...if it gets to that point, I’d love to help with a baby.” While her experience here was also limited to farm animals, she earnestly wanted to give Izumi a hand in any way possible. Hopefully next time she visited, they could speak with greater familiarity and ease.

“We welcome your help. The Uchihas have their weaknesses, but they also love more fiercely than any other. You fit right in.”

The walk home was quiet, Sakura mentally taking notes on what she would bring next time, questions she would ask. She was glad that Sasuke took her to see his brother and his wife, it was a welcome relief from her routine at home.

The sun was still high enough in the sky that Sasuke said, “Wait. Before we head back, there’s somewhere else I want to take you.” Sakura tilted her head in question, but still followed him. “You’ll see when we get there.” They turned back from the path home to head in a new direction.

They didn’t need to go very far when Sasuke stopped and it was clear that they were still in an Uchiha-dominated space. The air was warm, dry and smelled of smoke.

He got right to explaining the layout and pointing out certain spots and people. “My cousin Obito over there does pottery. Don’t talk to him, he’s kind of weird. I know a bit about swordsmithing, but not nearly as much as others. My other cousin Shisui makes a fantastically thin, but sturdy blade. Every time we bring his knives to the market they get snatched up quickly for a high price. But he’s weird too.” Even if his tone was exasperated, Sakura still smiled hearing the affection he had for his family and their practice.

“There are so many of you…” Sakura said wistfully. She had always thought of her family as being big, but now she missed their familiar comfort. The Uchihas were truly a clan. They walked further into the cluster of buildings; Sakura noticed Sasuke had slowed his pace to allow her a moment to really look at their surroundings.

“And when are we going to see some more Uchiha babies running around here?” an elderly woman asked kindly as they walked past, taking a break from sweeping to smile at the married couple. Despite her good intentions, the young couple winced.

“When the time is right,” Sasuke said evenly. He nodded at her again as they passed, grabbing Sakura’s hand so she wouldn’t get caught up in an unnecessary conversation. Besides, it was getting late and it was time to return. He didn’t let go until they reached the wide road to the house.

Sakura was glad to finally get some insight on the Uchiha clan, but the knowledge of it all weighed heavily on her shoulders. She looked forward to taking a bath at home.

The old woman’s words echoed in his mind. He knew they were expected to have children eventually, but he tried to push that thought away as soon as it threatened to crop up. The thought of Sakura pregnant with his child made his neck prickle with heat. He stood by his words: when the time was right, they would bring a child into the world. But that time was not now, not yet. He felt a little better after making himself some tea. It was time for bed, the day had been long.

Sasuke swung the door to their bedroom open without a thought, only to be faced with the creamy expanse of Sakura’s back as she finished getting dressed. The skin there looked pale, smooth, and soft, unmarred by the harsh touch of the sun. “Why didn’t you tell me you were changing?” Sasuke bit out more harshly than intended, more embarrassed than mad. He closed the door behind him but turned to face the side wall after entering.

“Do I need your permission to do everything?” Sakura asked sharply.

“Sakura, it’s not like that —”

“I know.” As she adjusted her clothes, she sighed, “It’s just that..we are married.”

“I know.”

#sasusaku #my writing #arranged marriage AU #fan fic

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