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sunkissedchld · 4 months

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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒍𝒍 𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one has the silver airpods, pile two is the pink cord phone, and so on and so forth.

take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. lastly, please don't be afraid to say if the message resonated or not; it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it's "bad".

this PAC is a collab with @icanseethefuture333, so be sure to check out their post also!

good luck to you, reader 🌷

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Signs:

"i don't forgive you", harboring anger towards someone, heavy fire (aries, leo, sagittarius) in birth chart, red, passion, danger, hera, broken marriages/family, non-committal, metatron, spiritual power, turtles, tigers, turkeys. broken headphones, "you're not listening"

Shufflemancy:

"Montero (Call Me By Your Name)" by Lil Nas X

"Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen

"Blow Us All Away" from Hamilton the Musical

"Intro" by J. Cole

"Angels We Have Heard on High" by Pentatonix

"Sorry, I Love You" by Stray Kids

Cards:

Four of Cups, Knight of Cups (Rx), Six of Swords (Rx), Two of Wands, Five of Wands, Seven of Coins, The Fool (Rx), Turtle (Rx), Tiger, Turkey

Reading:

For those who chose pile one, one lesson you will encounter will be in regards to you seemingly sitting on the sidelines in life. At one point, you may feel disconnected and apathetic about life; you may think, "what's the point of doing what I'm doing if I'm not seeing any results for it." There will be times when people will try to help you enjoy life more instead of being moody and unhappy with what you're doing, but J. Cole says it best when he asks, "do you wanna be happy?". Someone might literally ask you that (or people have done so in the past), and you often say "no" without saying no by not taking action to be happy.

Those who chose this pile may have a lot of unresolved emotional baggage they refuse to acknowledge, but your lesson will be in recognizing that baggage and unloading it. You may have been resisting a transition period in your life for as long as possible, and in 2024 that won't be allowed anymore. Saying "no" to happiness will not be an option; you will be thrown into tackling your anger, former traumas, apathy about life, etc. head on. The only real thing you can decide at this point is whether or not you're going to plan for it now that you know it's coming or allow life to take you through it however ough that may be.

You will be pushed to be competitive about what it is you want. There may be a lot of conflict, and you may even feel jealous of others at one point; you may think, "why is it that my growth and transition is so much harder compared to everyone else's?". There may even be a point during the year where you feel as if you're guides or the universe or whoever/whatever you believe in isn't listening to you, but the truth is everyone experiences growing pains, and you have to figure out how to persevere and get over your fears the same way everyone else does. As stated before, refusing to grow and transition is not an option, but your attitude as you experience it is a choice you make; you can make it easier or harder on yourself by having an open mind.

This year, you will be going from being a turtle to a tiger. You will no longer be allowed to take your time in regards to things in your life that are keeping you from growing into someone who is healthier and happier: mentally, physically, emotionally, and everywhere else. You will be stepping into your own power and your attitude will determine if you step into it gracefully or not. Overall, your lesson will be in learning how to free yourself from your own chains.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Signs:

"be free", the sun, heavy fixed sign energy, ceres, gemini, pluto, neptune, feeling disconnected from venus placement, having trouble speaking, 111, manifestations, "coming in", "i'm walking", "be realistic", mercedes, goose/geese

Shufflemancy:

“Love Like Woe” by The Ready Set

“One Step At a Time” by Jordin Sparks

“Are You That Somebody” by Aaliyah

“This World” by Ateez

“Can You Stand the Rain” by New Edition

“What Comes Next?” from Hamilton the Musical

Cards:

Eight of Coins (Rx), King of Swords (Rx), Five of Wands (Rx), The Hanged Man, King of Coins, Seven of Coins, The Sun, Fixed, Ceres, Sagittarius (Rx), 111, Mercury (Rx), Venus (Rx), Neptune, Pluto

Reading:

If you chose this pile, your lesson for the year deals with your self-worth and self-determination. “One Step At a Time” by Jordin Sparks seems to fit your energy best for this next year. It seems some of this energy may be lingering from last year also, but during 2024 you may feel as if you’re doing a lot of work but receiving no benefits from it. Eventually, this lack of success and recognition could wear on you, and you could wonder if what all you’re doing is even worth it. With your work, it could seem as if you do so much, but it’s just not quite enough to other people - even if you’re trying your absolute hardest. You could end up feeling unappreciated and as if you’re not advancing anywhere.

It seems someone could be turning people away from you. For some people, this is a literal person who you may get along with, but you don’t really confront them when it comes to what they’re doing. For others of you, this is the universe purposefully blocking things from you because you’re trying to speed up the time you get certain things, and it’s telling you, “this isn’t how that works”. Regardless, there is someone or something in a higher position keeping you from reaching the success you think you deserve. This conflict will frustrate you throughout the year, and it could prove difficult for you to deal with.

With the Hanged Man and Five of Wands (Rx), you’re being asked to compromise and re-think why you think you deserve recognition or success in a certain way. Is your reasoning valid or in good faith? Is your way really the only way you can gain what it is you’re wanting? Is what you’re wanting the best for you? I’m reminded of the meme (I guess is what it is) where a little girl is holding a small teddy bear or something, and Jesus is asking her to give it to Him, and she’s refusing, but the audience can see that He has an even bigger teddy bear for her; I feel like this will represent how your success for this year will be. You may have one view of how you want it, but that result keeps getting pushed back or thwarted because you’re thinking too small.

The action of patience will be your most important lesson this year. “Can You Stand the Rain” fits really well for this closing part of the reading. You will be learning how to wither the storm of seemingly being overlooked and having your ideas of abundance not being given to you how and when you want in exchange for even better and more success to meet you at the end. As is always said, “patience is a virtue”.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

Signs:

222, swan, itchy left palm, losing items, “i’m so sorry”, prominent sagittarius and/or gemini placements, heavy mutable energy, neptune dominant or many aspects to neptune, ducks, water, lust for nostalgia, being lost in your memories

Shufflemancy:

“In Love with Another Man” by Jazmine Sulllivan

“needy” by Ariana Grande

“Halazia” by Ateez

“Home” by Todrick Hall

“6 Foot 7 Foot” by Lil Wayne (feat. Corey Gunz)

“Put It On Da Floor Again” by Latto (feat. Cardi B)

Cards:

Queen of Cups (Rx), Six of Cups (Rx), Ace of Wands, Ten of Coins, The Sun, Six of Coins, The Emperor, Memories (Rx), Mutable (Rx), Sagittarius (Rx), Planetary Retrograde (Rx)

Reading:

For those choosing pile three, your lesson during the year will relate to you recognizing yourself more. Those who chose this pile may feel disconnected from their emotions or feel very emotionally drained last year and entering the new year. You may be very used to letting people utilize you in their lives however they want while when it comes to you needing people, they often are away or too busy to care about you. You could be prone to co-dependent relationships where you feel like you need to be needed or of help to someone and they to you, but you let them give you the bare minimum while you give your all.

Earlier, I thought you might be someone who doesn’t like remembering things or has a hard time with their memory, but it’s actually the opposite! You’re someone who loves to get lost in the past and what used to be; the song “Could’ve Been” by H.E.R feels relevant. For some reason the energy for this pile feels very connected to a relationship that you may miss during the year. It seems you will eventually come to the realization that you’re losing yourself to the past and recognize you need to garner up the willpower to keep going for the present. You will gain the energy to begin doing things for yourself instead of for the sake of pleasing others. You will be recognizing how important you are to yourself, and/or you will be building up that importance.

During this year, you will be building a new foundation where you do things for you. You will be focusing on your own growth and prioritizing self-care. You will learn how to put your happiness above other people's, which might be an issue you have been avoiding for a while. Rather than relying on others for emotional stability and to qualify your self-worth, you will likely end up doing a ton of introspection to discover what makes you happy solo. If you’re someone who is chronically in relationships, you may take a well-needed break in order to discover yourself like you’ve been putting off doing.

Overall, your lesson for the new year involves being your own rock so to speak. You will be learning how to set boundaries to protect yourself from people who are no good for you because they want to be like vampires in using you. Instead, you will focus on yourself and your ideals, wants, desires, and emotions. Your lesson this year will be learning how to focus on you.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

Signs:

having a lot of conjunctions in natal or solar return chart, heavy fixed energy, being born on a new moon, heavy uranus energy, “i don’t forgive you”, heavy fourth house placements and energy, “i don’t forgive you”, (oak) trees, miracles, unicorns

Shufflemancy:

“Focus” by Ariana Grande

“Hello” by J. Cole

“Lonely St.” by Stray Kids

“On It” by Jazmine Sullivan (feat. Ari Lennox)

“Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen

“New Money” by Leikeli47

Cards:

Ace of Cups, Four of Coins, The Devil, Temperance, Knight of Coins, King of Cups, Judgement, The Fool, Conjunction, Fixed, New Moon, Uranus, 4H, Trees, Miracles

Reading:

Those choosing this final pile, your lessons this year may relate to embracing new beginnings and a fresh start. For you, I’m reminded of all these rituals people are engaging in as we all enter the new year: eating black eyed peas, not washing clothes, having someone with money enter the house first, eating grapes under a table at midnight, and everything else. It seems you’re in the energy of “new year, new me”! With that, your lessons seem to relate to putting that quote to the test and seeing if you’re actually ready to embrace what comes with newness.

You could be losing things and people this year; maybe you fall out with certain people in your friend group, or you lose your job, or you graduate from school, or you’ll find a whole new group of friends. In general, the concept of not getting so attached to things or people to the point where you’re unwilling to separate from them comes to mind. Not that you can’t also develop strong attachments and relationships! But, when it’s time to let a situation or person go do not spend so much time trying to get them to stay. “When it’s time to go; it’s time to go”.

Do not become obsessive about things and people you come into contact with this year. The phrase, “there’s a time and season for everything” is very important! “Be flexible” is the best advice I could give for those reading this pile. Being flexible does not entail not working hard though; find a balance between being hardworking and putting in effort and also being open to change and loss. There is a major emphasis on balance and being in control when it comes to your emotions but also overall this year.

Overall, your lessons deal with being open to the change that comes with a new year and declaring that you’re ready for new things. You still need to put in work and go about life and strive to achieve what it is you want - in relationships, friendships, work, your daily life, and more, but you also need to be willing to let people and things go when the universe tells you they’re no longer serving or helping you. Truly, be open to the new beginnings you’re saying you want.

#tarot #oracle #pick a card #PAC #sunkissedchld #tarotblr #spotify #Spotify

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mysticallystilinski · 2 months

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𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

(𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐤𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - anakin despised you, but after getting in a fight with your boyfriend he had second thoughts about his feelings. you patched him up, but he wanted you to kiss it better.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 2.8k

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 - (slight) enemies!lovers if u squint hard enough, modern au, college!reader, mentions of blood, substance use, porn!w/plot, oral fem!receiving, p in v intercourse.

『 masterlist + nav + taglist 』 𝜗𝜚

the chill of the vent hit your exposed back in the front of the library. you had expected to be warmer as you sat closer to the front, but you were mistaken. you shivered in your seat as your legs clenched together.

anakin couldn’t help but notice your demeanor. cold, but hot at the same time. his eyes slowly looked you up and down while you were focused on the book in front of your face. it wasn’t unlike him to stare at you, especially in the library. that was when he felt you looked your best. messy hair, sweats, and your dark glasses.

he may have despised you, but god he couldn’t deny you were hot. the things he wanted to do to you. he had a boner just thinking about bending you over that table, and ripping off every article of clothing. his hard cock thrusting into you slowly while you begged him to go faster.

of course that was just his imagination. in reality, he felt disconnected from you. from what he knew, you hated him since the beginning of freshman year. he didn’t know why, which made his liking for you go considerably down. not to mention, you had a boyfriend.

you turned around to scan the area for your friend isamora, but locked eyes with anakin. he immediately looked away, and locked eyes with his phone. you scoffed, what an ass. little did you know your instagram was on his screen. you turned back to your book, and scanned the page.

suddenly you had little interest to finish reading. catching anakin stare at you ignited something in your mind. you shouldn’t have been thinking about him. you had a boyfriend, and he was great. greatly boring, in the aspect of bed. jordan was toxic and manipulative, but you were still with him. you needed someone to attach yourself to, just to take your mind off anakin.

you suddenly felt a pair of hands being placed upon your back, and you jumped. “god, you scared me isa”, you said with a heavy voice. your heart was beating fast, mostly from the scare but anakin was some part of it.

“please just come with me, just once”, isamora pled. it was already ten o-clock, and she was begging you to go to the party next door. you sighed, wishing for a way out of it. “i mean, i don’t know”, you spoke. “i heard anakin will be there”, she joked.

your eyes widened at that comment. she knew you always hated him, but she felt the tension between you two at certain times. in some positions, you and anakin came face to face regarding academics, or just bantering. isamora had been friends with anakin longer than she was friends with you.

she knew how he felt, conflicted. the mix of lust, and hatred grew for you from anakin as the years passed on. “fine, i’ll go”, you huffed. isa jumped in excitement as you agreed to her plans. “now let me pick out what you’re going to wear”, she screeched.

you headed over to your shared closet door, and slid it to the right. a huge pile of clothes fell onto the floor, and made a path for a sexy, black dress. it was almost fate that it was perfectly there, with the seams delicately placed. you grabbed the dress, but isa was quick to grab it first. “you are trying this on, no complaints”, she said.

you stared at the dress in awe, “is it yours?”. she huffed, “yes but i haven’t found the perfect occasion, till now”, she laughed. she handed over the dress to you, and pushed you towards the entrance of your dorm. you swung the door open, and went out into the hall.

you were looking down, so you didn’t notice him walking your direction. the next thing you know, you were on the floor. he fell backwards after bumping into your figure. he wasn’t paying attention, until you caught his. anakin looked up into your eyes, then to your dress that was sprawled across the floor.

“woah”, he whispered under his breath. he scanned your eyes for any response, but as soon as you were about to talk he was lifted up by some of his friends. “c’mon anakin, let’s head to this party”, they spoke. he looked back as his friends dragged him to the door down the hall.

they stunk of weed and alcohol, mainly what the party contained of. you lifted yourself up, and grabbed the dress off the floor. you brushed off your clothes in disgust at the interaction that just happened. the communal bathroom opened up, and you knew it was go time.

you knocked on your dorm door with persistence for isamora to open it. you were all dolled up now, perfume all over, flawless makeup, and perfect jewelry. you checked your phone to call isa. she had texted you a few minutes ago that she was heading to the party, and to meet her there. are you fucking kidding me, you whispered under your breath.

you put your phone away, and headed down the hall to the party. your heels clacked onto the carpet, and you fixed your hair as your rushed down the hallway. you heard the loud bass come from dorm 201, so you knew that was where it was.

anakin was dreading to see you after your previous interaction. he was embarrassed, and frankly horny. before you came into the dorm, he imagined what your dress would look like on you. your features being prominent on the tight dress.

your hand latched onto the doorknob, and you pushed it open. isa could almost sense you coming in, so she headed for the door. “y/n!!”, she screamt. you laughed at her demeanor, and headed into the lofty dorm. your eyes burned almost immediately as smoke wafted into your face. weed and nicotine was heavily prominent in this dorm room.

the vibe of the party was your type. not too loud, but not too quiet. immediately, you locked eyes with anakin from across the room. he lowered his head, and you could’ve sworn you saw him smirk. it may have been all in your mind, but you wouldn’t have cared.

jordan was sitting on the couch, a blunt in hand, talking to one of his friends. his eyes wavered across the room, never hitting you once. it was typical of him to ignore you at these types of events, but tonight you didn’t have a care in the world. beginning to plan, your mind thought of pumping tons of shots into your system.

you headed over to the drink table. you felt anakin eyes upon your presence following you. the table was lined starting with malibu, ending with pink whitney. you groaned in disgust after seeing the whitney, bad memories. you grabbed a shot glass from the long table, and poured some tequila into it. on second thought, you grabbed another shot and poured vodka.

at once, you took both shots with no chaser. the liquid poured down your throat and left a heavy burning sensation. the aftertaste was disgusting, and made you start to gag. you felt a hand caress your back, “baby, don’t throw up”. immediately you knew who it was, anakin.

“anakin what the hell are you doing?”, you questioned. he smiled at your question, already 7 shots in. the smell of alcohol lingered from his breath, “i’m not doing anything.. i’m just talking.. can’t i just talk to you?”. immediately you were faced with the fact that he was heavily drunk. his hand began to rub up and down your back.

you began to feel your legs clench together mindlessly. anakin lowered his head down to your ear, “am i making you feel good?”. you felt his hot breath on your face as he stood there waiting for a response. star strucked, your mind went completely blank.

in a split second, anakin was on the floor. jordan was on top of him, trying to get many punches in. you screamt as ani’s face became bloodied. anakin rolled over and went on top of your boyfriend. jordan grabbed his wrists and flipped him back over. “this is what you get for flirting with my girlfriend”, jordan fumed.

anakin laughed through the pain, punches flew hardly missing him. his teeth became bloody, and his smile was still prominent as jordan tried harder to hurt him. anakin looked so hot smiling devilishly. even if he was hurt, god was he hot. campus security barged through the door, and lept onto both anakin and jordan.

many people ran out of the dorm, and scattered throughout the hallway. “THE COPS ARE HERE”, someone yelled, which caused panic to arise. anakin was pulled away from jordan, but jordan was still clawing at him. you laughed at the sorry attempt of jordan attacking anakin. anakin sat on the floor, head in his hands.

you quickly walked over to him, and grabbed under his shoulder. he was lifted up with your force, and taken to the private bathroom in the dorm. anakin sat on the covered toilet, and groaned in pain. blood ran down his face, and was entangled in his hair. the cabinets were easy to navigate for you to find washcloths, tylenol, and hydrogen peroxide.

your heels were forced off by your hands, and you were slightly less tall to be able to help him. “i’m fine”, anakin groaned in pain. “i’m not letting you sit here bloody, i’d rather help”, you said. motioning to the sink water, you grabbed 3 pills and handed them to anakin. “this will help”, you spoke. he cupped his hand and held some water. the pills were placed into his mouth, and he quickly swallowed them.

you had to admit, his adam’s apple looked so hot as he swallowed. the ache in your pussy was still prominent, and nothing was stopping it. the drinks caused you to have this heightened sense of realization that maybe you did find anakin attractive. you can’t think that y/n, you thought. in your daze of thoughts, anakin was staring into your eyes.

you heard small groans come from anakin, and in the corner of your eye you saw him using his hand to stroke himself. even though it was through his pants, it still turned you on to the max. he used his free hand the grab under your chin, and lift your gaze to meet his. his whimpers came out softly as he struggled to continue looking at you.

you smiled as you finally came to terms on what he was doing. realizing, you snapped out of your daze and detached his hand from your chin. you decided to guide his large land to the fabric covering your boob. he grasped at your breasts almost immediately. the music was enough to cover the groans coming from his mouth. anakin was rough, and harshly apprehended your boobs. going from one to the other, he stared in your eyes to see your reaction.

hearing his whimpers made you weak in the knees. although you felt good, you wanted to feel better. “anakin, stop”, he immediately unclaimed his hand from your breasts. “what do you want me to do?”, he groaned while continuing to please himself.

anakin got needier by the second as you haltered your response. your finger was placed upon your chin, and began tapping in a playful manner. he unclenched his hand from the top of his pants and grabbed your wrist. “please tell me what you need”, he whined. his eyes gazed up into yours as the angle was him slightly below you.

anakin started to play with the loop of where your belt would be. pulling on the fabric, he looked for your approval. you nodded, and he proceeded to unzip your jeans. slowly, but surely he held onto your clothing and pulled it down. teasingly, he stopped them at your ankles and waited for you to step out of them.

quickly, you stepped out of the long jeans and kicked them aside. “needy much?”, anakin questioned slyly. you giggled in response but stopped when his hands attached to your panties. “can i?”, he asked. again, you nodded at his examination. the panties dropped the the floor at the slight of his touch. anakin stared in awe, and stood up from the seat.

“sit on the counter”, he demanded. proceeding, he helped you onto the cold material. anakins only objective for tonight was to make you cum, and you better believe he was going to do so. as soon as your ass hit the counter, you flinched at the temperature.

“spread your legs”, he spoke chillingly. you seemingly obeyed, completely bare on the bottom half of your body. anakin kneeled onto both knees, and held his face to your heat. as soon as you were about to speak up, he delved in. whimpers left your mouth, especially within the first few seconds. his tongue began to slowly surround your clit, and he grasped at your thighs.

groans came from his mouth which caused you to feel the pleasure even more. his hands tightened around your thighs as you began to squirm. anakin was feeling ever little move you made, causing him to become even hornier. you felt slight cum drip from your pussy, but you could tell anakin wouldn’t miss a spot. his tongue began to shake as your legs did also.

your fingers entangled into his warm locks as he came closer to your area. lips sucked around your clit, he whimpered as you continued to pull onto his hair. stomach clenching, your high was beginning to build up. butterflies filled your stomach as anakin went at a fast pace. he didn’t intentionally mean to overstimulate you, but it was happening. “please anakin, can i cum?”, you begged. without a reply, he nodded his head in response. that nod caused you to feel even more overstimulation on your clit.

cum began dripping from you, and you felt your high almost there. anakin was at a great motion, and nothing would stop him. “ani- ani, i’m going to cum”, you groaned out. your orgasm caused your stomach to cave in, and your legs to tremble. his face was still near your heat as you began to grind on it for more. he retracted as you sat there with your elbows against the cabinet, still coming down from your bliss.

he stood up, leaving you a creaming mess. quickly, he pulled down his pants in an instant, underwear coming down with the removal. precum soaked his tip and he began to delve it between your folds. you whined as his tip hit your clit, “don’t you want me to make you feel good sweetheart?”. you nodded in response and he was quick to enter you.

his dick went fully inside of you, leaving no room behind. anakin slowly inhaled in, and out through his nose. behind him, you could see your reflection in the mirror. anakin quickly noticed your response to you seeing yourself in the mirror. smirking, he cupped under your ass, and backed up to the mirror. you bounced onto his cock slowly. he didn’t forgot to thrust hard, so he began to go faster.

“i want you to look at yourself taking my cock”, he said through small whimpers. obeying, you stared at yourself in the long mirror. every aspect of this intimate experience was seen through a whole new perspective. you could feel him fill you up, and it left you in heaven. you tits bounced through your shirt, while you mentally noted to make sure to take it off next time.

anakins cock went harder, and faster as your moans continued on. cum began to seep through your folds as it rushed out of you. your second orgasm was coming, and quick. anakins whimpers caused you to come closer to the desired high. “you’re so pretty”, he spoke while deep inside you. your face flushed as those words came out of his mouth.

“ani- you’re so handsome”, you praised. anakin definitely had a praise kink, and that tossed him off the brim. you felt his load shoot inside you, filling you up to the very brim. continually thirsting, anakin turned you around and placed your back against the mirror.

the wall began to shake as you bounced upon his cock. of course you were almost there, but everything exploded once his finger hit your swollen clit. your cum flowed out of you, and onto anakins dick. he pulled out, and placed you back onto the counter.

“i didn’t expect this to happen”, he said through huffs of deep breaths. “well i didn’t either”, you spoke out. your eyes lifted to his as he stared upon you. you sure didn’t expect this to happen tonight, but you didn’t mind kissing it better.

𝐥𝐚𝐯 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬 this took me so long to write, probably the longest in a while. but i promise i will try to consistently post more because i seriously love all of you.

୭ ✧

taglist - @dwntwn-strnlo @worldsgreatestarcher @chiaraanatra @wrongframeofmind23 @sarahmichelle1624 @jediavengers @rafeinterlude @mwdhwtter @nin356 @sarahirmiz @rafesbabygirll @idek1214 @amarihutcherson @littlemissborntolose @zizuras @spideysimpossiblegirl @dollsay

#anakin x reader #anakin smut #star wars anakin #anakin #anakin fanfiction #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x reader smut #anakin skywalker x you #anakin x you #sw anakin #star wars smut #star wars #obi wan kenobi #obi wan and anakin

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husbandohunter · 7 months

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Two Shades of the Same Color

Synopsis: Protecting the law and protecting his family. The line seperating them were like two shades of the same color. Wriothesley just didn't know it yet.

Genre: Wriothesley x Reader, gender neutral pronouns, Reader and Wriothesley have a daughter

(A/n): this is my offering to the gacha gods praying for an early Wrio to come home 😔===============================

The Duke of Meropide often finds himself conflicted in the different roles he has to play.

In the daytime he carried his duty as the Warden. Having served his sentence through the years he was in prison, Wriothesley was appointed to be a suitable candidate now managing Fontaine's most notorious Fortress, guarding wanted criminals, convicts, and what justice deems guilty. Both feared and respected by them, it was quite an intresting story how he got into this rank. But he also didn't dislike his occupation. Perhaps due to this self-proclaimed 'rough around the edge' personality, he believed the prison wasn't so far disconnected from his nature.

"Wolf-ears, wolf-ears, daddy has wolf ears!" A sweet voice sang before imitating a growl sound.

Aaand there were those who really disconnected him from his 'nature'. Wriothesley sighs as he rub his forehead, clutching a stack of unsigned papers while the girl pulled the little tuffs in his hair.

Your five year old daughter came home one day, announcing that the class had been given an assignment.

Two things arise in his head. First off, why are they already giving assignments to children? Shouldn't they be learning their alphabets and make crafts or something? Second, why does it have to involve taking your kid to work?!!

You failed to stifle a laughter at the sight, the poor man silently hoping that you would do something, "Come down little one. You wouldn't want to accidentally fall over now, would you?"

The girl shook her head, avoiding your attempt to hold her and squeezed her small legs around his shoulders, "Don't stop me! Mari wants to stay up here."

"But he's going to get tired if you keep shaking like that," you suggested, placing both hands on your hips.

Mari huffs, "That's up for daddy to decide. Right, daddy?"

You quirked an eyebrow and glanced at your husband who seemed to be under a lot of pressure. What can he do? When his daughter stares at him with her toothy grin and gleaming eyes that looks just like his own?

Helpless at her whims, he pleads silently, urging for your aid once again.

"Sorry honey," you shrugged and tilted to the side, "I tried."

"Oh really?," the man doubts, "Then why are you smiling like that?"

Wriothesley wasn't sure how he got into this mess in the beginning. Actually, wait. He did. He just...didn't want to admit it.

The initial answer to Mari's request was a no brainer. Allowing his little babydoll Marigold through the walls of Meropide was something he stricly forbade until she reached thirty years old. A reasonable negotiation, he thought. Not even the gossips plastered all over the Steambird newspaper would be discussed at the dinner table. The man vowed to keep his work life and family life seperate the day she was born.

"Why don't you go find them to help you with your homework?"

"I work at the Fortress too, silly."

Well-- maybe not you since the two of you met here, but that's different. Rules are laws and laws shouldn't be broken. There's a reason why order is meant to be taken seriously in Fontaine. And of course, in his house too.

Then you proceed to say-- it's because you keep spoiling her! Which he retorts, "I'm not spoiling her, I'm just making sure she has a fun childhood, that's all."

"Uh huh, you sure do a great job at it officer, maybe a little too well," you tease, wrapping your arms around your burly husband and nuzzled against his cheek.

Fits of giggles came from above, Mari starts rocking back and forth, "Now give him a biiiiig kiss!"

"Alright alright, that's enough you two," Wriothesley caught hold of his wiggling daughter and settled her down on the floor. Seriously, he could hardly focus. Wriothesley had planned to make his routine as boring as possible so she would leave and he could go about his day. It seems the man terribly underestimated the fact Mari had a penchant of finding entertainment. Should've been obvious that he would be the center of it.

"Can we go downstairs now? I want to see where the machines are working," Mari declares and throws her hands up in excitement.

Wriothesley clears his throat, "What did I say earlier about going downstairs?"

"It's not safe for ages under thirteen and only for members who are given permission because they're criminals," Mari sheepishly repeats.

"Aaaannd?"

"You're not allowed to abuse your authority or give me special treatment because the Warden must be fair and respect the rules from the Fortress of Marinetide, treating everyone equally."

"That's my girl," he nods with a grin. Though the pronounciation can use a little tweaking. Eh, he'll let it slide.

"Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit too much? The working grounds aren't that bad, even Sigewinne takes her strolls there during her breaktime," you chime in.

"Who's Sigewinne?"

The man expresses what seems like his version of a pout. Though you can never miss the small upturn slivering the corner of his mouth, "I'm starting to get the feeling that you enjoy seeing me like this."

"Nonsense," you lean on his shoulder, "I'm just admiring how much of a loving father my daughter has."

They're coaxing me into something, "No means no."

Wriothesley glances at Mari who had still been persisting him with pleads and questions. The reason why he wanted to keep his work life and family life sperate was because prison, in general, can shape a person entirely. Whether for good or worse depends on the individual, she was far too young to be exposed at the kind of stories and complex reasonings people would have. Wriothesley knew very well that nothing is black and white. Perhaps from growing up in this kind of world, he wanted to know, to see, to let an innocent child experience life far differently than he did. Because now, he had a choice.

"I already know what you're thinking, it's written all over your face," breaking him out of his thoughts, you gently spoke to his ear, "Not everyday our little Mari gets to spend time with her father like this. She was so happy when the teacher said it was going to be a 'take your kid to work day' assignment, you know?"

"I'd rather keep the details behind closed doors. There's not much that can be said outside the reputation everyone knows of," he reasons, "Besides, Sigewinne is the only exception because she's the head nurse. This little fellow here can hardly prounouce Meropide."

"Hey! That's not true. If I practice long and hard I can speak as perfectly as the papers on your desk!"

"Oh? You know what that's a great idea. How about we spend the day practicing your alphabets? We could also read the Boar Princess while we're at it," the Duke happily suggested.

"Wriothesley," you chide lightly, "As long as you're with her I'm sure there will be nothing to worry about," then you crouched down to Mari's height, "Right sweetie?"

"Yeah! Daddy is the strongest and smartest man in all of Fontaine!" She jumps up and down, "He can even lift me even when I'm wearing a backpack!"

Wriothesley eyes you both suspiciously, "I see how it is. Sounds like you two are teaming up."

"I like to call it a coincidential agreement," you tugged him at the arm and lead towards the stairwell, "Come on. Take the day off and let me handle the paperwork. Wouldn't want to keep the fun waiting, would you?"

Your husband folds his arms and scoffs, "A day off?"

"By the courtesy of Chief Justice Neuvillette himself," you responded.

Ah, they had it all planned out, "Astounding effort on your part, I suppose."

"Please, daddy? I swear I'll behave and not do anything to make you mad," Mari twiddles her thumbs, "Pleeease?"

Wriothesley closes his eyes, a habit he acquired during situations such as this. Well, looks like he was fighting a losing battle anyways. Maybe you were right. He was spoiling her.

"Fine. Only under one condition. You have to-"

"Call me 'Your Grace'!" She salutes immediately, " Oh, I mean...you, Your Grace."

Wriothesley glances at your way again and you merely returned a shrug. He smiles amusedly.

They really had it all planned out.

•••

When Wriothesley stepped out of his office, he was slowly starting to regret his decision.

Mari, being far too excited for her own good, already bounced a few metres ahead. He sometimes wondered where she gets her energy from. For newcomers, they easily wear out before they become used to things. Ah, that's right, I have to make sure she doesn't disturb the inmates. If this keeps going then who knows where she might end up. Archons forbid it'd be the Pankration Ring.

"Up you go," for now, Wriothesley scoops her into his hold, having the girl seated on one forearm and the other supporting her weight. Until she calms down, at least.

"Mari is reporting for duty," she salutes again.

Wriothesley lets out a chuckle, "Since when did I ever act like a Marechaussee Hunter? Wait, let me guess, you snuck to see Clorinde."

Guilty as charged. The little girl slaps a hand over her mouth, "Whoopsies."

"I'm joking. I actually didn't think you snuck out to see Clorinde," he smugly states, "Well well looks like my little culprit reveals herself."

She huffs, "Heyyy, that's cheating."

"Sorry babydoll, but I think I win this one," Wriothesley boops her nose in a playful manner and allowed Mari to stand on her own two feet, "So, are you ready for a tour around the Fortress of Meropide?"

"Where are we headed first, Your Grace?" She chirped, eyes blown wide like she was on a sugar rush from last time.

Wriothesley raised a scarred brow, "Oh you're letting me decide? In that case you'll just have to wait and see for yourself."

"Yay, I love surprises!"

Even better. This way, he can guarantee that she won't wander off to places she shouldn't be in, no one should be in.

Lunch hour was approaching and the inmates were already finishing up their shifts. He could feel the frequent looks being thrown from the cafeteria, already knowing it will be the hot topic for the next few days or weeks.

Right, then there's this part I have to deal with.

It didn't help that the man's presence alone had the same affect under normal circumstances. Seeing their Warden with a babbling little girl was rather jarring. Mari was...how should he put it, good at stealing the spotlight. So much she easily attracted all the attention from the locals. Wriothesley had never knew someone could be so pestering that it became endearing. Other than you of course. Heh, I guess that's one of many things they have in common.

He doesn't try to hide the smile softening at his features.

"C-Could that be His Grace and..."

Welp, looks like the hot topic is already cooking. Wriothesley pays no mind. There's nothing wrong with being open about his family in front of other people at least. Just because he had a reputation as the Warden to keep doesn't rob him the identity of being a father.

His mind suddenly drifts back to you. Is that why you were so insistent about this earlier?

"Daddy, everyone is looking at us funny."

The word 'daddy' does not escape those around him, percise as a radar and pointed sharply at his direction. Wriothesley expected as much. Actually, he was more surpised she even managed to remember the honorifics for this long, "Ah who cares. Let them do their thing. Anyways, didn't you say you wanted to see how the machines worked?"

A pause before she breaks out into a wide, beaming grin, "Yeah!"

"Then hold on tight," without a warning, Wriothesley lifts her until she was settled on his shoulders and ran as fast as he could, away from the crowd.

•••

"Was that...the Duke just now?"

A confused inmate, still processing at what he just saw, allowed the bitten meal in his hand fall to the plate.

"Who knew His Grace had a soft spot," Another one snickers.

Wolsey who had been tending to the dishes behind the counter exhales exasperatedly, "His Grace ought to be more careful with his actions around others next time."

•••

The shaft doors open to reveal the upper level of the production zone. Wriothesley exits first before gently taking the girl's hand as she shuffled down the two stairs. Thankfully the area had been emptied, except for a few supervisors, it was much more peaceful compared to the cafeteria.

"Wooooahh looks at all those meks!" She ogled. Meks was her way of saying gardemeks. Spending time with a five year old made him more keen to the language innuendos they create, "It's like one gigantic gear working together."

"Not just gears sweetheart, the people here are responsible for making sure ever part of the machine is functioning. Without them, there would be no clockworks you see in the surface," Wriothesley opens a palm while he explains, "I know most of your classmates only think of them as criminals, but criminals have been working for honest income."

"Does that mean the same criminals are now helping to make meks that catches more criminals and keep Fontaine safe?"

The man pauses, thinking for a moment, "You could say that."

"Hmmm," Mari looks down pensively, trying to put two and two together, "So if criminals are honest people, how did they end up in here?"

"Well uhhh... " Wriothesley breathes out quietly. It's complicated. Sometimes he doubts if the word criminal is even a proper label. Becoming a criminal isn't always by choice, some are just born into it, eventually going down a path because there was no where else to go. And the few who escape are the lucky ones, "Ah very tricky, sweetheart. Don't tell me you're here trying to get ideas."

The mischeivious expression he gave her made Mari gasp in disbelief, "I would never break the law daddy!"

"Are you sure?" He insists with jest.

"Yes, and I promised a hundred thousand times already," she emphasized.

Wriothesley pats her lightly on the head. Although his hands were calloused and scared, they carried the weight of a loving father, "Good. I know you'd do the right thing."

From the corner of his eye, he spotted a familiar silouette dressed in pastel colors. Sigewinne had been speaking with Grainville at the Operation and Widget equipment. As you mentioned earlier, the head nurse pays frequent visits to check upon the health conditions of inmates. For the Duke, it was natural that he'd want to know if there was anything he should be concerned about. But now is not the time. He didn't want to drag his daughter when this was meant to be a fun activity of theirs.

"What's that over there?!" She scurries off without a warning, specifically at the direction he was glancing earlier.

Or we can just check it out anyways. Wriothesley thought to himself, using his hands to prop against his knee, standing upright so he could catch up with Mari.

The Melusine was the first to notice, "Your Grace? I'm seeing you everywhere these days. I hope you haven't been swarmed with too much to do."

It's true that Wriothesley had been more present in his timing. The Primordial Sea issue was something he wanted to be resolved as soon as possible, "I'm actually doing just fine, thank you Sigewinne."

"Y-Your Grace. I'm surprised to see you here. Are there any newcomers I must train?" Now it was Grainville's turn to intervene, "Oh, and who's this?"

"Sigewinne?? That's the nurse, daddy?" Mari exclaims, baffled as she compares her height with the other, "Why is she so small like me? Did she get hit by the short disease?"

Jeez. Children can really run around without a filter these days.

"She may be small but a lot more older than she looks," Wriothesley reasons, gentle and firm, "Aren't you forgetting something? In front of you, these people have greeted us the moment we came by. What's the right thing to do, Mari?"

It took some time for her to realize but she perks up as soon as she did. Flustered, the young lass dips herself into a low curtsy, head following suit that her hat fell to the floor, "Good afternoon. My name is Mari. I'm five years old. Nice to meet you all."

Wriothesley maintains a straight face and picks up her hat. On the inside, he could feel his heart squeezing. No matter how many tries you practiced with her, she still doesn't get it quite right. Totally his fault. He never scolds her for it.

"Hello Mari, my name's Sigewinne and I'm the head nurse," the melusine beams, "Though I'm a bit surprised, Your Grace. I thought [Name] said you didn't want to bring your daughter here."

Quick, he had to make an excuse before, "Ah, that's--"

"That's because daddy is awesome and he cares about us so much!"

Urk.

Sigewinne's countenance suggested she caught on that the Warden had a weak spot for his overly coddled daughter, "I see. You're fortunate to have such good parents, Mari. His Grace had put in great effort to ensure the safety and well-being of the Fortress. It's probably why everyone is quite satisfied with living here."

"I know," Mari nods with agreement, "Since daddy does the same thing at home."

Warmth spreads inside his chest and the glaciers of the man's gaze thaws enough for one to notice. Did she truly feel that way? Somehow, for a long time, he didn't think it was enough.

"It's true. His Grace doesn't ostracize anyone and gives them an equal chance of a better life," Grainville added.

Wriothesley crosses his arms and returns a quipped stare, "Indeed. Though I'm afraid flattery will get you as far as none. Best get to work."

Grainville salutes, "Yes, Your Grace!"

"Wait daddy, can I stay and watch?" Mari tugs the hem of his fur coat, "When I go to school tomorrow, I can tell all my friends all the cool things we did today."

He straightens his posture, "No."

"But daddyyyyyyy."

Here we go again. Except this time, the man will avoid all eye contact. Maybe he can try getting earplugs next time, which of course, must be slipped on discreetly so she wouldn't notice. If you were here, he'd be getting an earful of the same conversation he had in the office. Equipment processors can be dangerous to use if something suddenly screws loose. Who knows what might happen?

Though a father can only resist so much and he couldn't ignore her forever. Wriothesley relaxes his shoulders, the crease in his forehead fading, "Are you sure you can be careful?"

"Careful is my middlename!"

"Grainville," Wriothesley commands. Authority drips from his voice that the supervisor nearly flinched from his place, "Check if there's any malfunction in Operations and Widget equipment. I expect a thorough search once I get return from lunch."

Without a moment hesitation, Grainville executes his task as if his life depends on it.

"Daddy, can we go buy some food?" Mari looks up, "I want Fonta!"

"No junk food until you eat properly," though now she mentions it, he is craving a cup of tea by now.

Walking out of the shaft once more, Wriothesley takes another look at the environment surrounding the cafeteria, through a different lens than the last. He recalls his first day. Young, brash, and full of poor judgement. They were not the best memories, but they were certainly memories.

How things have changed. For the better, as it should. To Wriothesley, that was probably the most important aspect of all. He likes seeing signs of strength and hope, reassuring him that tomorrow will be a better day. Though he made peace with the present constantly filling him with doubt. Can the same progress be as steady as he wanted?

He thought about what you said. Then the words he heard from others. The Fortress of Meropide had improved to the point it could function autonomously. On top of that, he received high praise from both surface dwellers and those who lived in the underworld. What drives him to maintain this environment stems from his past. The good and the bad. The mistakes and lessons. The two shades of the same color blurred into one.

"Daddy, I just want to tell you, I had so much fun today. Thank you for bringing me here!"

And if those experiences of his could ensure that his daughter could live a safe and peaceful childhood, then that's everything he can ask for.

#genshin impact #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin scenarios #genshin impact scenarios #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin

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utilitycaster · 5 months

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It's become stunningly clear with this most recent episode that Imogen and Laudna's insularity, mistrust of everyone else in the party, and refusal to take responsibility for their actions is at the heart of the disconnect and lack of bonding within Bells Hells. It is not the only reason - I think Orym's constant smoothing over of issues in the interest of forward motion has certainly exacerbated the situation - but it's a significant and unavoidable factor. I'm hoping that while the actual exercises of the team-building probably won't themselves fix the issues this party has, addressing the various secrets that are now out, specifically the ones that touch on issues that affect the functioning and dynamics of the entire group, actually might.

As this post notes, their unwillingness to question each other or develop any conflict resolution with each other means they tend to, even if unwittingly, dogpile the rest of the group by acting as a singular voice. In a small conflict-averse group, this tends to constantly overwhelm the conversation. This is worsened by Imogen's psychic abilities, which permit her to glean information about the others without the need to have a conversation; it means the others in the party frequently start with two votes against them before they've even said anything.

They also both suffer from a pretty profound lack of boundaries. Again, Imogen's psychic abilities are invasive, frequently unwelcome, and often lead her to both jump to conclusions and to police the behaviors of others without considering their actions nor giving them any chance to have a full conversation. It also means she controls what information the rest of the party knows, as her interpretation of someone else's mental state is the only thing they're given when she reads someone's mind. Laudna, meanwhile, is extremely quick to trust, while also taking any deception as profound betrayal. As a result, they both tend to take a hot-or-cold approach to the others in the party based on the other person's most recent thought or action. They are prone to black-and-white thinking and snap judgments, which, as the next paragraph indicates, has serious ramifications.

Imogen and Laudna are terrible about actually talking to people and getting anything out in the open. This includes each other; again, see their frequent unquestioning support or the claim that their relationship defies words (which it does not; as of last episode this has culminated in Imogen revealing that, in fact, she is disgusted by a fundamental reality of their relationship, which is absolutely not something that can be addressed without a pretty intense conversation.) We also see this in how they've taken Fearne's choice not to take the shard. While, arguably, they had heard Fearne express her concerns about the shard to Morri by the time of the honesty exercise (which would make their behavior even worse), even if they hadn't, that's two voices shaming her for without hearing her side of the story. It's in sharp contrast with Chetney, who also expresses his disappointment with Fearne in episode 3x78, but immediately follows it up by asking her why she didn't want it. Imogen and Laudna never take it upon themselves to ask her how she feels or why she made that choice and let her explain; they jump straight to judgement.

That failure to ask ties into the final element of why they are the weak point in Bells Hells' communication: they are just as guilty as Ashton of "violent projection of responsibility", but unlike Ashton have not realized the depth of this flaw and the consequences it has not just on their own life but on the others in the party. This is less of an issue with Imogen with regards to Bells Hells (in fact one might argue she takes far too much responsibility in that she apparently sees policing the party on the basis of their thoughts to be her duty, though I would note that unattuning the circlet leaves her, the person with the clearest ties to the Vanguard, vulnerable to the powers of others within the organization) and far more so with the gods, from whom she apparently expects instant gratification. However, this is at the core of Laudna. It's true that she is by no means the only powder keg within the party; Chetney and FCG's abilities are also dangerous. However, one must take into account that Laudna has been aware of Delilah's presence for, as she has repeatedly stated, over three decades now, and only now realized the implications thereof, whereas Chetney became a werewolf less than a year ago and immediately took steps to mitigate the threat he posed, and FCG only learned of their condition within the past few months. Like Chetney, she has learned to remove herself from situations in which she could pose an immediate threat, but that slow learning curve and lack of proactivity is not promising for the future. It's also true that, keeping all other circumstances identical, the impact of Laudna's loss of control is far more dangerous. If Chetney bites someone or FCG attacks, unless they kill someone, the damage and curse can be undone and the power within them is unchanged. The same is not true with regards to what happens if Delilah makes Laudna absorb a magical item or a soul.

While everyone in Bells Hells shares some responsibility for the current state of affairs, Imogen and Laudna are without a doubt the primary source of toxicity. I think the others have become aware that they are in an environment in which Imogen is likely to either shoot them down, read their minds nonconsensually, or make insensitive suggestions, and that Laudna will nod along next to her as she does. It does not feel coincidental that Fearne chose not to voice her concerns and that Ashton avoided the group conversation entirely. This again does not absolve Ashton or Fearne of their deception of the party, but it does explain why they might feel an honest conversation is impossible. Unpacking what was said during the Honesty exercise might finally allow Bells Hells to excise this rot and to begin a new era of group conversations in which everyone feels they can say what needs to be said without fear, but it will be an effort to be sure.

Because it's me, I think it's worth noting that the fandom emphasis on absolving Imogen and Laudna of any accountability (which I've spoken about at length and have had on my radar for a long time now) is obviously not the cause of this behavior in-game, but does echo it in interesting ways. I'm not sure I would have realized the extent to which they evade responsibility in-game without this mentality being so prominently in the fandom. It explains why they are never expected, by many fans, to even achieve as minor a task as "asking Fearne how she feels instead of letting their own feelings dominate what they think she should do", let alone set boundaries for each other. But ultimately, that is the key: I think the only way for this party to achieve the trust they need is through the assertion of those boundaries. When Bells Hells know that they have the freedom to disagree with each other without being accused, dogpiled, ignored, or told to get it together, only then will they be able to actually come to true consensus rather than the fragile and tenuous teamwork they have had so far.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #bells hells #imogen temult #laudna

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heavyhitterheaux · 6 months

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Unrequited (NSFW)

AN: this is long so fair warning lol

Synopsis: You feel that there is a disconnect between you and your husband and haven't brought yourself to be able to tell him. He ends up finding out with something that you do or rather don't do instead.

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Jack Harlow Masterlist

DO NOT ENGAGE IF UNDERAGE

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

You let out a huge sigh as you were about to start washing the dishes from the dinner you made for the girls which consisted of fettuccine alfredo with chicken and broccoli which they barely touched after begging you for it all week.

You were exhausted and couldn't wait for your head to hit the pillow all for you to get up and do it all over again tomorrow.

The girls were playing in the living room and you called out to them to put their toys away so that when you were finished, you could get them ready for bed.

"Piper! Penelope! Start putting your toys away! It's almost time for bed."

They didn't even respond to you as you heard a key turn in the front door which led to them frantically screaming and running towards it since this was an indication that daddy was now home.

And you had conflicting feelings about it.

You loved your husband, there was absolutely no denying that and no doubt in your mind. However, it seems as if there was a disconnect between you two for the past few months and you just couldn't get past it.

At least on your end you thought it was, but probably not to him.

"Daddy!" Was all you heard your twin girls say as they greeted him while you continued your task in the kitchen.

"Hi my sweet girls. I missed seeing you every day."

"And we missed you too." Penelope replied as Jack then handed her a stuffed bunny which she quickly embraced while handing Piper a stuffed pig, they quickly said their thank yous to him as his attention now went to finding his wife.

"Where's mommy?" Jack asked his two girls and both of them pointed towards the kitchen while Jack simply nodded as he made his way towards you with them hot on his trail. He was confused on why you didn't greet him at the door like you usually did when he was gone for an extended period of time, but brushed it off thinking that you were probably busy and wanted to finish up quickly in order to be able to put the girls to bed.

Because you were at least an hour late.

He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist before kissing your cheek and then turning you around to face him, meeting your lips with several kisses.

"Hi." Was all Jack said when you finally broke apart and your foreheads were resting against one anothers.

"Hi." You responded while hugging him tighter.

You definitely missed being in his arms, but couldn’t wrap your mind around how you were feeling and that bothered you to no end.

"Missed you bad."

"Missed you too. Didn't think you would be here until Friday."

It was only Tuesday and you had plans for making his favorite meal on Friday and blocking out time for it to just be the two of you after the both of you spent time with the girls, but now that plan had gone out the window.

"I got done early so I had to come and check on my favorite girls." Jack replied while kissing the tip of your nose as you forced a small smile.

You were doing everything in your power to fix your facial expressions so that Jack wouldn’t catch onto anything being wrong.

"Daddy, come play with us!" Penelope exclaimed, but you immediately shook your head no.

"Girls, it's time for bed. I already let you stay up an hour past your bedtime. We have to get up early, remember?"

"Well that was until daddy got here. Please!? Just a little bit longer?"

"Come on, babe. They can stay up a little while longer." Jack suggested and you knew that you had been outvoted and it wasn’t worth putting up a fight.

"Then you're on bedtime duty. They still need to brush their teeth and need a bath and…"

Jack quickly cut you off by kissing you and all you did was look at him.

"I got it, baby. Don't worry yourself."

Easier said than done.

All you did was worry when it came to him and the girls and that had now become heightened over the last few months with no possible end in sight.

"But…"

"Just go ahead and lay down. I'll take care of them."

You then finished up cleaning the kitchen and putting everything away when you heard all three of them in the living room still lively as ever despite it being almost 9:45 at night which quickly had you grow annoyed.

You never wanted to take their time away from Jack or interrupt it since they would often go long stretches without seeing him.

However, that meant that you went long stretches without seeing him too, but when he came home his primary focus was always on the girls and you felt as if you were somewhat of an afterthought even though you knew for a fact that was the last thing that Jack ever wanted to do.

You weren't jealous or despised your twins in any way, shape, or form, and you were thankful that they were yours and made you a mother but you just missed your husband and the time that would be spent together with just the two of you.

This had been going on for a few months with him working on his new album, but that also meant that he would have to promote it as well as go on tour and you were dreading it. Which would be happening within the next two months and this would be the first time that the girls would be old enough to actually remember. They didn’t do well with him being gone for a long period of time and for good reason. That’s their father so they expected for him to be with them often. However, they would quickly forget about it once he showered them with gifts and you honestly thought that Jack didn’t understand how this could be damaging to them in the future, but you didn’t know the best way to approach him about it.

He has gotten better since they have gotten older, since he did miss a few key milestones which of course made him get upset. He wouldn’t be gone as long now, but he would be gone longer than you wanted him to be.

But, Jack acted as if nothing was wrong between the two of you and you could only blame yourself for that because you won't open up your mouth to tell him. So, what did you do?

Suffer in silence.

As you passed by the living room, you smiled at the sight, but continued upstairs so that you could take a shower and hop in the bed as soon as possible. The girls were going to hate you tomorrow because of how early that you had to wake them up to go to school, but knew that they probably wouldn't care because of the time that they got to spend with him which you honestly couldn’t blame them for.

It was around eleven at night when you finally heard Jack’s footsteps enter your bedroom and couldn't believe that you weren't asleep yet despite how tired you were and have been for the last few days. You had your back towards the door as you were facing the window and taking in the moonlight that was peeking its way through the curtain.

You heard him hop in the shower as you continued to lay there and stare off into the darkness figuring out how to approach him about what was bothering you, but you were at a loss.

The two of you always communicated with one another and Jack was always considerate of your feelings and wanted for you to come to him if anything was upsetting to you whether it had to do with him or not.

He wasn't in there for very long and you soon felt him slide in next to you and wrap his arms around you while reaching over to kiss your cheek. Your breathing hadn’t slowed, so he knew that you were still awake.

"You still up, baby?" You heard him softly whisper in your ear and all you did was nod.

"You were waiting for me?" He asked as he began to kiss down your neck and slipped his hand in your panties to slowly massage your clit.

You were in fact not waiting for him by any means it just so happened that you were still awake. You just had insomnia. Even though your body was exhausted.

But your body had other plans as it quickly responded to his touch, even though your mind wasn’t there.

Your body was currently betraying you and you wanted nothing more but to be able to give your husband the pleasure that he deserved, but something was in the way blocking it and you just couldn’t move past it as much as you wanted to.

“Yes.” You responded as you lied through your teeth to give him an answer that he would be able to be satisfied with. Even if you had told him ‘no’, it wouldn’t have mattered since your body was responding to his every touch.

“Then let me take care of that for you.” He whispered in your ear as he placed you onto your back with him hovering above you. He slipped the t-shirt that you were wearing over your head leaving you in just your pink panties which he wasted no time in taking off and throwing them across the room.

“Hmm, I missed you so much.” He quietly said as he began to kiss down your body as you were staring up at the ceiling waiting for this to be done and over with.

Jack then kissed the inner part of both of your thighs before he took one long lick across your folds which had you bucking your hips forward and quickly made him smirk.

“And I can tell your body missed me too.”

As he continued to pleasure you, your hands found a way into his hair in order to pull him as close as possible to you.

You did miss the feeling of having him all to yourself, but it seems as if this was the only time that it was able to happen, and you weren’t a fan of that at all.

But, he didn't seem to notice.

Almost twenty minutes had passed, and you couldn’t help but to blurt it out.

“Babe, I’m close.”

You in fact weren’t anywhere near close and only had your mind on one thing.

Making sure Jack was satisfied, even though you weren’t and was lying to him.

He sped up his pace and you quickly let out a series of moans in order for it to seem like you reached your peak before Jack quickly hovered over you as he stroked himself a few times before sliding into you and bottoming out.

“Almost forgot how good it feels to have you around me. Been way too long”

This needed to be believable and you were ready to put on an oscar worthy winning performance of the century so that he didn’t catch on.

Because how in the world were you going to explain that?

“Shiiit.” You quietly let out and he now placed your legs on his shoulders and was steadily pounding into you.

“That’s it. You’re taking me so well, pretty girl.”

As he was moving in and out of you, he took this opportunity to lean forward and trap your lips in several kisses as his left hand moved downward and began massaging your clit in a circular motion.

“Mmm, baby… I…..”

“I know, I know. Hold on a little bit longer for me.”

It took everything in you for you not to roll your eyes, but you did as you were told.

He then leaned forward to take one of your nipples in his mouth and slightly sucked as he fingers still remained on your clit and had now increased his pace.

All you did was wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer towards you as you threw your head back.

“Fuck I’m about to cum, you gonna cum with me pretty girl?”

You eagerly nodded your head as your foreheads were now touching and it only took three more thrusts until that warm and familiar feeling filled you up.

You were scratching down Jack’s back as he was placing kisses all over your chest to ride out his high and he assumed that you were riding yours out as well, even though that was as far from the truth as it could get.

Once he recovered, he slid out of you making you wince as you flipped him onto his back and eagerly took him in your mouth making him throw his head back in pleasure.

“Shit, baby.”

“I want to show you how much I missed you.”

The next morning, you woke up confused seeing as Jack wasn’t next to you. You turned to face the window and grabbed your phone which read 10 AM which made you immediately hop up and run to the girls’ room.

Once there, you found it empty with both of their beds made which left you at a loss.

You then went downstairs to find a note on the counter written in your husband’s handwriting.

Good morning baby,

Took the girls to the zoo and I wanted you to sleep in so I turned your alarm off. You have a hair and nail appointment at 2 and Ariel will meet you there. I also ordered your favorite breakfast from First Watch and it’s in the microwave waiting for you. Wanted you to have a self-care day since I know it’s difficult with me being gone for long periods of time. We’ll see you later and we love you.

Call me if you need me for anything,

Your loving husband

You had finished reading the note that he had left for you and had conflicting feelings. You didn’t want to seem ungrateful because that was literally the last thing that you were, but, all you wanted was for him to spend time with you. You couldn't even remember the last time the two of you had a date night. It was simply you were at home taking care of the kids while Jack was the breadwinner and provider and when he was home, you felt as if you were an afterthought and almost ignored by your husband in a way. You didn't know when this shift had occurred but it had been weighing heavily on your mind. Why couldn’t he wake you up to go to the zoo with him and the girls? You didn't even dwell on the fact that he let them miss a day of school.

It could be admitted that you loved when he spoiled you and did amazing gestures such as this since he knew you needed a self-care day, but deep down you also needed your husband and best friend. All of the material things were a plus and you were appreciative of everything that he did for you, but you only wanted two simple things…. his time and attention.

You sighed as you went to warm up your breakfast and ate it in silence at the island in the kitchen. It was still too early for you to get ready and leave for your appointment, so you decided to shop online for a few things that you needed to get for the house in the hopes that they would be here next week in order to pass the time.

Your phone began to go off with incoming pictures of their adventure at the zoo and knew for a fact that they would be most excited to see the elephants since that was their latest obsession.

As you scrolled through the pictures, your phone went off again alerting you that Ariel was texting you.

Ariel- I'm picking you up at 1:30! Go get ready! So excited to see you.

Being able to spend time with your best friend brought a smile to your face and you wondered if she had any advice for the current situation that you were in.

Ariel had been married longer than you had, was a lawyer, had four kids, and still found it in her busy schedule to get some one on one time with her husband and never missed a beat.

You didn't know how she did it while you were over here struggling trying to keep your head above water.

At this point, you were willing to try anything.

After some much needed girl time, Ariel had dropped you back off but you had mentioned to her wanting to talk about something and didn't want to bring it up while you were out, wanting to put your troubles in the back of your mind for a day.

So, she called you on facetime on her way home.

"Y/N, what's going on? I know that something is bothering you. You know better than to hide things from me."

"I just…. Don't know how you do it. Full time job, four kids, loving husband that will go to the ends of the earth for you."

"What are you getting at? Like Jack doesn’t do the exact same for you. Spill it."

"That’s the problem, It is him."

"What about him?"

"I'm not sure, but things aren't the same between us. At least that's how I feel from my end, I don’t know if I’m reading too much into it or what. I literally faked an orgasm last night when I had sex with him."

“Wait a minute, you did WHAT last night?” Ariel asked as she looked at you in disbelief through the facetime call.

“Faked an orgasm or multiple I should say.” You replied while shrugging, but what you didn’t hear was Jack come into the kitchen to greet you.

“But why? As much as I hear about your wild sex stories, I’m really not understanding.”

“I… just I don’t know, I feel that we’re disconnected and not on the same page and it’s been that way for months. I just made sure that he was satisfied and that was it.”

“Jack is going to be pissed when he finds out with a capital P.”

“Well, he’s not going to find out unless you tell him, now is he?” You asked her and her eyes suddenly went wide while looking behind you and all you could mutter was ‘oh shit’. Knowing that more than likely she was looking at Jack who you knew was going to be upset with you.

So much for him not finding out.

“Too late.” Was all you heard your husband say as you quickly ended the facetime call to turn around to look at him.

He had his arms crossed while staring at you in utter disbelief.

“Babe….. I….” You started to say, but you have never in all your years of marriage seen Jack look at you the way that he was looking at you at this very moment.

“Are you fucking serious right now? How long has this been going on?”

“Just let me explain! Baby, it’s not what you think!”

“How do you explain faking your orgasms to your husband?”

You were silent as you stared back at him and suddenly everything you wanted to tell him wouldn't come out your mouth.

"You know what on second thought, I don't even want to hear it right now. Because I already know that it's going to be some bullshit ass excuse."

"No wait!" You exclaimed while grabbing his hand, but he quickly and forcefully pulled away from you.

"Y/N, let me go because I don't even want to look at you right now."

With a defeated sigh, you dropped your hand from his as he left the room and all you could do was sit there in disbelief.

Jack avoided you for the rest of the day as much as possible, but it was a bit difficult when it came to both of you caring for the girls. It wasn't until it was almost midnight when he came into your shared bedroom as you were scrolling through your iPad wanting to read a few chapters in this new book series that you had recently discovered.

You didn't open your mouth to say anything as he moved around the bedroom not knowing what kind of reaction that he was going to have, but when he finally sat down next to you was when you heard his voice.

"Y/N."

Here goes.

"Jackman."

"Do you want to tell me what's going on? At the very least, I deserve an explanation. Do you not want to have sex with me anymore? Are you not attracted to me?"

You sighed and placed your iPad on the dresser before giving him your full attention.

"It's not any of that at all. I just feel pushed to the side by you and when you do show me any type of attention, I feel like I'm an afterthought and it almost feels forced."

"Wait, what? Where is this even coming from?"

"You have literally been working more and more this year leaving me at home with the girls. And when you are home, all of your attention goes to them. Which I understand, they're our children, but you don't do that for me. We don't spend any time together and if we do it feels rushed or all we're doing is having sex. I don't even remember the last time that we had a date night and we spent time with each other. I just want my husband and best friend back and for him to show me that he actually loves and cares about me and that I'm important. The material things don't matter if I can't even have your undivided attention for 45 minutes. Because of the disconnect, I faked it. My mind isn't there."

Jack took a few minutes to take everything in that you had just told him before he responded to you.

"Why didn't you tell me this? So you'd rather suffer in silence than say anything?" Jack asked as he ran a hand through his curly hair.

"I just didn't know how. You're always busy and I didn't want to be another burden. So, I just acted like the good quiet wife who takes care of everything at home while her husband goes out and provides" You quietly confessed as you played with your wedding ring.

"You're my wife, why would you ever think that you were a burden?" Jack asked you, obviously hurt by what you said. The last thing that he would ever want is for you to feel that way about yourself.

All you did was shrug and Jack noticed the tears in the corners of your eyes, and he quickly wiped them away as they started to fall.

"I just… it sounds so selfish and sounds like I don't want to put my kids first, which I do. And I know you have a lot going on and I didn’t want to add more stress on you."

"You don't sound selfish, baby. I completely understand what you're saying and I wish you would have told me sooner. I don't want you to sit here and suffer. You are just as important to me as they are and I should have been showing you that."

"I just miss you and…" You started to say, but now you were full blown crying as Jack slid you onto his lap and you were now crying into his chest.

"I feel like I'm a horrible mother and I look at Ariel and she has her entire life together while I am over here struggling and…"

"Baby, stop. Stop comparing yourself to other people and you are a damn good mother. Don't ever think that you aren't for a second. You are never an afterthought to me and I admit that I have been slacking when it comes to just us spending time together and I apologize for making you feel as if you weren't important to me. We used to always have date night and like you said I can't even remember the last time we had it. This year has been a lot for our family, but it's going to be different from here on out. I'm not going to get these moments back and I need to remember that. I promise to do better going forward."

You simply nodded as you finished wiping your tears as Jack leaned over to kiss you which made you smile.

You kissed him back before laying your head on his shoulder as he cuddled you closer to him.

"I love you and you are never going to question how important you are to me again."

The following week on that Friday, you woke up to Jack peppering kisses all over your face which instantly made you laugh. You opened your eyes and saw that he had a tray full of food that he had placed on the bed next to you.

“What’s all this?” You curiously asked as you sat up with your back against the headboard as Jack slid it closer to you so that it was laying across your lap.

“Breakfast in bed for my beautiful wife.”

“And what’s the occasion?”

“No occasion necessary. Just because you’re my wife. That’s it and that’s all.”

“Where are my babies?” You asked as you began eating, but suddenly had a realization when you didn’t hear anything coming from their room across the hall.

“With my parents…… all weekend.” Jack said as he smiled at you while you had a dumbfounded look on your face.

“Wait…”

“Next three days are all about you and me with no interruptions. I told you from the moment that you told me how you felt that it was going to be different.”

“But…”

“You can take a break from being superwoman for 72 hours. I have the entire weekend planned for us so we can do all of your favorite things, but for now, I want you to eat while I put on your favorite movie… or at least one of them.”

“And which movie might that be?”

"Babe, you know we have to do the Harry Potter marathon. It's only right."

Throughout Friday and Saturday, the two of you spent quality time together while also discussing the things that would have to change moving forward so that the both of you got to spend quality time with one another while also spending quality time with your girls so that no one would feel neglected.

It was now Sunday morning and you were woken up by Jack being between your thighs which quickly led to you letting out a gasp.

Jack then looked up at you and smirked.

"We aren't leaving this bed for the rest of the day and you are damn sure not about to be faking another orgasm. So spread your legs and let me work."

You let out a yelp as he pulled you by your ankles to the end of the bed and placed your legs behind your head to continue his task of eating you out.

"Oh shiiiit."

Your juices were now running down Jack’s chin as he then inserted two fingers into you. You were trying to grasp the sheet underneath you, but was failing miserably as he continued to pleasure you.

You were about to reach your peak when you suddenly felt Jack move away from you and you glanced up at him confused.

"Babe, come on. I was close." You breathed out, eager for him to continue, but all he did was place kisses along your inner thighs before he decided to answer you.

"I know you were and that's why I stopped." Jack answered you and you couldn’t help but to get a dumbfounded look on your face.

"Wait, what? Isn't that the opposite of what you're supposed to do?"

"Hmm, usually. But not for you. Didn't I say we weren't leaving this bed?"

"Yes."

"Because I plan on edging you until you can't fucking take it anymore."

"I…." You were at a loss for words and knew that you were about to be in for it.

"That's what happens when your wife wants to fake her orgasms. Now get your ass to the top of the bed."

You did as you were told and was now all the way at the top and Jack was now stroking himself and peering down at you.

He slowly climbed on the bed to hover over top of you as he leaned down to kiss you and you felt him enter you at the same time making both of you let out a collective gasp.

You both got into a comfortable rhythm as he leaned down to kiss you and your arms immediately went around his neck to pull him closer.

Your eyes had closed when you suddenly felt Jack stop and you opened your eyes to see that he was looking at you.

"Who told you to take your eyes off of me?"

"No one."

"Then why'd you do it?"

"I…"

"You've already started out not being a good girl for me so I don't even know if I'm about to let you cum at all." Jack answered you as he slowly and painfully started to move in and out of you again.

"Baby, come onnn." You were already at the point where you needed to release and knowing Jack and what he said, there was no way in the world that he was about to let it happen.

"We just started my pretty baby and I am nowhere near done. Be good and do as I say and I might just let you cum all over this dick." Jack answered you as he slowly stroked your face before leaning down to kiss you once more.

At this point, you had no idea what you had gotten yourself into and was deeply regretting ever faking it in the first place.

Jack had now increased his pace and you had leaned down in order to massage your clit to hopefully hit your peak, but he quickly pushed your hand away.

"You're just determined to disobey me aren't you?" He asked as he now placed his hand around your neck and lightly squeezed.

"But…" You started to say, but Jack just simply shook his head at you as he now increased his pace moving in and out of you, but suddenly stopped and you saw a smirk on his face making you whine.

"Babeeee."

"Turn around and get on your knees for me." Jack told you as he slid out of you making you wince.

"Face down, ass up. Hurry up. The longer you take, the longer you go without me letting you cum."

You made sure that your back was facing him before you rolled your eyes because you knew if he would have saw it, he would have said something about it.

"You have the prettiest pussy." Jack said as he started to run his fingers along your folds making you cry out in pleasure wanting nothing more than him to be inside of you again.

"And that pussy needs to be able to cum so my husband needs to hurry up and make it happen." You quietly said not knowing that Jack in fact had heard you.

"Keep getting smart with me and I'll make sure it doesn't." Was the last thing you heard before he slipped into you and started pounding at a rapid pace.

At this point, your face was in your pillow and you were trying your best not to scream out in pleasure, but it was only a matter of time where you wouldn't be able to keep quiet anymore.

"Baby, please let me cum. I can't take it anymoreeee." You weakly said, but all Jack did was let out a laugh and shake his head no although you couldn’t see him.

"No and yes you can. You're taking it just fine and stop moving." He answered you as you felt a light smack to your ass. You wanted to let out an annoyed sigh, but you knew if you did that there would be consequences.

Jack then leaned down to place kisses along your spine as he was still keeping an even pace and could feel yourself start to build up to the point that you were yearning for when he suddenly pulled out and started to eat you out once more.

Since it was unexpected, you abruptly leaned too much a little to the left and lost your balance, but Jack quickly caught you by holding onto both of your legs so that you wouldn’t topple over.

At this point you were now whimpering and begging for some relief, but you had a feeling that no matter how much you begged and pleaded with your husband that the answer was going to be no.

As Jack’s tongue was moving in and out of you, a series of moans escaped your mouth and you were almost in tears because of how much pleasure you were in.

When he began to suck on your clit, you knew you were about to lose it right then and there.

"Ohhhhh shiiiit, baby pleaseeee."

You were confident that he was about to let you cum, but of course he had other plans and abruptly stopped making you pout and grow restless.

Without saying anything to you, he flipped you back onto your back and entered you once more as you wrapped your right leg around his waist.

"How bad do you wanna cum, baby?"

"So bad, so fucking bad." You screamed out at the top of your lungs as Jack smirked while looking down at you.

"You think I should let you? You think you deserve to?"

"YESSSSSS!"

"Hmm, but I don't know if you do."

"BABY, COME ON!"

"Let's not forget our manners either. I thought I told you that only good girls get to cum?"

"I AMMMMM!"

"I'm not convinced you are, so you know what we're going to do? Or rather what I'm going to do?"

"Hmm?"

"Make myself cum with you watching me and you better not touch yourself. Better yet, let's tie you up."

"You cannot be fucking serious right now. I can't touch myself or you?"

"Nope." Jack said as he slid out of you and reached into the bedside table in order to get the handcuffs to attach you to the headboard.

Once he made sure that you were secure, he stood in front of you and slowly started to stroke himself making you squirm and whimper wanting to be able to have him in you.

"Hmm, your mouth would feel so good on me right now."

"Then untie me so I can." You said as you held eye contact with him.

"Now I know you didn't think that it was going to be that easy." He responded as he increased his pace.

You continued to keep a close eye on him as you kept squirming and was doing anything that you could think of to give yourself some type of friction in between your thighs.

"Babe." You breathed out as he threw his head back in pleasure and you could tell that he was close.

He didn't even bother responding to you, but instead hopped up on the bed and hovered over you and you anticipated him releasing all over your chest, but he quickly surprised you.

"Open your mouth, baby."

You did as you were told and you heard a series of curses as his load shot down your throat and took the opportunity to suck him dry.

"Fuck, babe."

Jack then released himself from your mouth and leaned down to kiss you while also massaging your left nipple and rolling it between his fingers as he reached down with his other hand to insert two fingers into you.

"You ready to cum for me, baby?"

"Yes!"

All Jack did was laugh as he removed his fingers and slid back into you bottoming out. He gave you a second to adjust and then began to pound into you with no mercy making you cry out.

"Fuckkkk! Right there! Don't fucking stoppp!" You pleaded and for the first time that morning, he actually listened to your request.

"Now this time, I didn't plan on it."

Jack leaned down to place several kisses upon your lips before moving down further to take one of your nipples in his mouth and lightly suck.

He continued to do this as he then reached down and massaged small circles along your clit and knew that it was only a matter of time.

Within less than a minute, you were screaming at the top of your lungs as you squirted all over Jack who then slid out of you to suck on your clit making you squirt for a second time before finally coming down from your high.

He watched as your chest rose and fell as you were trying to even your breathing as he kissed up and down your body.

Once he finally got to the top of your body, he released you from the handcuffs and all you could do was lay there as you felt defeated and had absolutely no energy whatsoever.

"Do not ever and I mean EVER fake an orgasm with me again. You understand?"

It took all of your strength in order to nod, but once you did, all he did was laugh.

"I'm giving you fifteen minutes and then I want you to ride me."

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kelppsstuff · 2 months

Text

“HOW LONG.”

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | ALT ENDING

Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of cheating.

Taglist: @adamsfavoritesinner @dustsofangels @leathesimp @lunanight1021 @michelleszn @p1nkiee @reeses-piece @strangerthings36 @biggdaddylonglegs @danart501 @sashaphantomhive @ladyninggs @dak-ots

Hello, so this is the Alt ending so everyone please know that this is LUCIFERS ENDING! Adams is in part three!

—

Court went absolutely terrible. Adam had basically trashed the whole idea. Adam also had a huge influence on the court.

I felt truly sorry for Charlie, and Emily. I had thought Sera told Emily, but apparently not. Let's just say, the whole session could have gone better.

"I'm so sorry Charlie." We were back in the heaven hotel. We had a few more hours before we had to leave. "It's okay, not your fault." Her smile was shaky. "Do you think I could have some time alone?" | smiled gently at her. "Of course darling, get some rest." I closed the door and looked up to see Lucifer. He looked conflicted, confused, and concerned. The three C's.

" knew I shouldn't have set up this meeting. They crushed her!" We walked back into our own hotel room. "She's a strong girl Luce. She'll be okay. I promise." And she will be. Eventually.

Lucifer smiled at me, but the it faltered. The conflict-ion coming back into his face.

*I saw Lilith." | nodded my head and gestured for him to continue. “|-I don't know anymore. I like you." He sat down on the bed putting his face in his hands. "Like really really like you." | sat on the floor in front of him. Moving his hands away to look at his crimson eyes. "I like you too.”

His eyes squeeze shut almost as if his next words hurt him to say. "But I made a vow. That no matter what she and I would always have one another. Even if those words did hurt him, I was positive it hurt me more.

"Your going back to her" A tear fell down my face. Lucifer opened his eyes again and brushed the said tear aside with his smooth hand.

"What kind of man would I be if I didn't keep my word to her? What kind of example would I be telling my daughter?" My heart was hurting.m but I understood even if it did hurt.

"Do you love her. My voice breaking. I never even met her and yet it felt like she took away all the ones I loved. "Yes." Fuck.

"Do you love me?" Another tear fell. This time instead of his hand brushing it away it was his lips. “Yes.”

(Where the ALT ENDING begins.)

I shook my head. He couldn’t tell me that. Not when he’s going to her. Not when I loved him.

“I understand.” I understood but fuck why did this hurt so bad then? “I have to go to her now.” He stood and looked to the door. “She’s coming back to hell with us.” I stood as well and nodded at him.

He walked across the room. I heard the door open but I didn’t look to see. To busy staring at the wall in shock, I’m heartache, and in longing.

The door closed and I heard two words come from Lucifer. “Fuck it.”

He walked across the room to me and when I turned to ask what he leaned me down to his lips.

He was kissing me, hard.

My lipstick started to stain his lips and he spoke in between when our mouth would disconnect.

“The example—“

Another kiss.

“I want to set—“

A kiss.

“Is for my daughter—“

A kiss.

“To choose the person their heart actually belongs too.”

A final kiss. Our hand started to roam all over each other.

—

Lilith ended up staying in heaven. I had convinced Adam to call off the extermination.

Adam would try and win me back but I always said no. I couldn’t ever trust him again.

I would always love Adam. And if he ever needed my help with something I would give the help he needed.

But with my son on the way I wanted to set an example to him.

To be with the person his heart truly belongs too, and not to be with the person they gave vows to, that no longer have no meaning.

I wore my silver band that Adam gave me around my finger.

Lucifer wore his gold band Lilith gave to him, around his finger.

We never married, we didn’t need too. We were happy as we could ever be.

—

AND THATS A WRAP! If you have any ideas don’t be afraid to request. 💛

Taglist

#hazbin hotel #hazbin #masterlist #adam hazbin hotel #adam is actually hilarious #adam x reader #x reader #hazbin lucifer #lucifer #lucifer x reader

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sy-on-boy · 4 months

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Anya + unraveling the mystery of the Desmond family (and Damian being different)

When Melinda debuted, I wrote a post about how she was potentially a character against the Forgers because Anya hadn't met her (we gain insight into characters via our deus ex machina Anya meeting them and reading their minds). Anya has met her now and the narrative has established that she genuinely cares for Damian (even if she's still a mysterious character).

After a long time, Demetrius is finally here. He's still mysterious, but not antagonistic to his brother and still cares for him. Like I said in a previous post, Demetrius subverts what I said above because Anya cannot read him fully even if she's met him. But regardless, Demetrius is here, we've seen him, all four Desmonds have finally debuted. And in my mind, I can vaguely connect them to the Forger-Briar extended family:

Anya - Damian: The kids aiming for stella stars and seeking parental approval. Attached to their dogs. Occasionally heroic (dodgeball, handkerchief, bus hijacking), but ultimately silly kids dragged into "adult" political matters (Anya with more awareness than Damian).

Loid - Donovan: Standing in for WISE vs war, one of the central conflicts. They are fathers and authority figures. Loid, faking a job as a psychiatrist, seeks to understand people (as a fake job, but he also does this as a spy). Donovan famously declared that people would never truly sympathize with each other. A good, attentive father and a neglectful father.

Yor - Melinda: The mothers, the narrative kind of puts them in the background compared to their husbands, but we know they have plot behind them. Yor's job as an assassin is unknown to her family (sans Anya). Melinda has struggles of her own when it comes to parenting her kids / being married to Donovan.

Demetrius - Yuri: Bit of a stretch, but they're both characterized as genius brothers and on the side compared to the main father-mother-child trios. Yuri works for the SSS, in direct opposition to Loid. Demetrius is a middle schooler?? He’s a child so he’s probably not that involved in the main plot, and if he is, it’s not willingly / he was brought up that way. They're both younger (and less experienced) compared to the adults- Demetrius is still a child and Yuri is 20. Yuri's affection for Yor is overflowing and the Briar siblings are very supportive of each other. In contrast, Demetrius is passive and apathetic, but not uncaring.

Anya has met everyone except for Donovan. Anya thinks both Melinda and Demetrius are weird. And Anya thinks of Donovan as the evil super boss. To her, the Desmonds are "weird". "All of Sy-on boy's relatives are such weirdos" - not sure if it's just the translation, but this line seems to imply Anya thinks Damian is exempt to the weirdness of his family. After all, unlike Demetrius, she can read Damian's thoughts normally. And unlike Melinda (and Yuri, and Fiona), she usually doesn't get bombarded with an overwhelming wave of intense thoughts when she reads Damian's mind.

And that brings us to the next point - Damian's time in Eden and the positive influences he receives (away from his family). Damian and Anya are better friends now. E&E's loyalty and affection for him have been established countless times. Becky congratulates Damian this chapter. Despite Damian thinking people suck up to him to get close to his father, he has a group of friends who do care about him (including Becky who doesn't suck up to him). Outside of what we see from Anya's pov, Damian has teachers and his dorm mother (Jeeves too) who care for him. Damian isn't alone.

Damian is shown to be disconnected from his family for whatever reason. His parents didn't come to his orientation. Damian says he doesn't see his parents often. Melinda cares for Damian but isn't allowed to see him often / afraid to be seen with him (?). Damian has called Demetrius before but this is the first time we see him meet Demetrius in person. And we all know about Damian's goal of impressing his father. Damian seems to believe Demetrius and Donovan when close when they were younger (when Demetrius was slightly older than Damian’s age), but Damian receives no such attention. Despite this, Damian still manages to have a fairly happy school life with his friends and supportive adult figures.

I think Damian's growing friendship with Anya and the recent complete reveal of the Desmond family will push Anya into thinking Damian is not like his weird family. If anything, Damian is more like Anya and her associates. Post bus-hijacking, Damian from Anya's POV is seen as more likeable / sympathetic, even more so now that we know about his mother and brother.

Anya is a child who is exposed to some of the darkness in Melinda / Demetrius' heads (trauma from being close to Donovan?), and she doesn't really understand them. Melinda / Demetrius seem off to outsiders (we saw Yor’s reaction, Becky thinks Demetrius is creepy) but it’s only Anya who’s capable of reading their minds and knowing how weird their thoughts are. But Anya has a much better understanding of Damian, the youngest Desmond, who is a kid like her with understandable motivations (getting stars, impressing his dad) similar to Anya's own motivations.

Interesting to note that Demetrius, while at Eden, seems rather lonely and disconnected even within his peer group. When he walks down the stairs, the panel frames it as him being alone, while Damian has four friends with him. When Damian and Anya get their stars, their classmates are shown to be smiling / impressed. When Demetrius gets his stars, we see two of his peers sweatdropping, almost looking wary, while a blushing girl has her hands to her mouth. The story doesn't show Demetrius' peers celebrating his success. It feels like Demetrius' peers are used to him getting good grades but still in awe of how good he is, but... they're not really close to him. Demetrius is not social and says he doesn't understand people, and maybe he doesn't interact much with his peers.

This chapter also reveals Demetrius is not in regular contact with Donovan anymore, contrary to what Damian believed. So Demetrius seems removed from the Desmond family sphere, but also isn't super integrated into the Eden sphere (in contrast to his 6yo brother and his friends). We can believe Demetrius isn’t close to Donovan because he is annoyed (and triggered?) by the mere mention of his father. Clearly Donovan has done something scarring to both Melinda and Demetrius and their thoughts look weird to Anya. Damian, despite craving for his father's attention and being stressed about it, is still relatively unaffected.

From now on, I think we'll slowly get more information about the Desmonds while Damian remains separated from them in the narrative. Damian is introduced as a vital part of Plan B due to his connection with his father, but even Damian himself admits there's not much of a connection. Plan B is working (sort of) because Damianya are friends, but that doesn't mean it's easier for Anya to meet Donovan. I think the narrative has been pushing Damian away from being a plot device for Plan B to being Anya's genuine friend and a victim of the Desmond parenting. At this point, Damian is not really useful to the main plot and there's not much mystery to this 6yo child.

Damian still thinks of himself as a scion of the Desmonds and he’s desperately trying to get his father’s attention. But his dad doesn’t really care, his mom loves him but doesn’t want him to be near Donovan, his brother is similar and also seemingly doesn’t want anything to do with Donovan. Meanwhile, the story establishes him as a boy with a crush on Anya, a boy with friends who will readily sacrifice themselves for him, a boy who’s willing to protect his classmates. All around Damain, his peers, associates, and the story itself has long been defining Damian as someone outside of being the Desmond family. But Damian naturally holds onto it.

Damian isn’t mysterious to Anya because she can read him. Okay, she still thinks he’s a brat sometimes, but that’s Damain being Damian, not Damian being a Desmond. But everyone else in the family is mysterious and it makes Anya feel at least vaguely uncomfortable.

The Desmonds are probably connected to Project Apple, and with the recent hints of Anya’s backstory, we might get some of that. But Damian is framed as almost completely separate to whatever went on, while Melinda and Demetrius are portrayed as victims of Donovan, mysterious and a bit weird but still sympathetic.

And that’s why I think it’s coming together— hints of Anya’s backstory, Damianya becoming better friends, the Desmonds all here. We’ve scratched the surface off and we’re hopefully going to see more.

(Also, just a thought: if Damian indeed goes through a “dark arc” and becomes more like the rest of his family, Anya will know because she can read his mind. She will be able to tell if Damian’s thoughts also start being “weird”. But they are better friends now which could be a lead up to her helping Damian deal with the pressure and struggle.)

#spy x family #damian desmond #demetrius desmond #anya forger #long post #spy x family spoilers #sxf analysis #meta #more rambles #donovan desmond #Melinda desmond #hope this is at least 15% coherent

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riizebabie444 · 8 months

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𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙫𝙞𝙗𝙚𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙘 🌠

🌠 ─── hello and welcome, today’s tarot reading will be a sort of vibe check, basically what vibes me and my cards are getting from you at the moment.

🌠 ─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.

🌠 ─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.

🌠 ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 🌠

firstly, i'm getting pile one that you are in creative energy right now. you could be experiencing a bout of inspiration and expressing yourself creatively, such as with art, writing or music. it could also be creativity with problem solving or coming up with a project idea. but i'm sensing there is something playful and personal to you, whatever creative thing you are doing or are planning to do is something you will enjoy. perhaps it is something you did when you were younger. it's going to bring out your inner child, help you understand your deepest passions. it's very nostalgic.

for some of you, you may be spending too much time daydreaming. you have a vast imagination which is a wonderful thing but too much of your time is being spent on what if's and unrealistic desires, such as fantasising about your life as a celebrity when in real life you have homework due that you've not yet completed. like i said, it's great to have a wild and creative imagination, but this is your check in to get control of your mind because it's affecting your productivity and efficiency. you can be ambitious, but be practical also instead of doing things in your head but not in real life.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙬𝙤 🌠

for some of you who chose pile two, you may be feeling like your life is chaotic right now. i think for a number of you, not all of you, you may have experienced some conflict recently. perhaps an argument with a family member or falling out with a friend. because of this, you feel like your life is falling apart. for the most part, you guys are going through a strengthening experience. you're stronger than you've been before, and more confident. you may also be struggling to adapt to a new change in your life.

overall, there is shifting energy, like changes are happening in your life. they could be big or small but the majority of you will get through this quickly. even still, you're feeling quite balanced. some of you might be learning something also, or getting ready to learn, such as preparing for the new school year or investing in personal classes. you might be feeling restless, like in an excited way but still nervous for something new. but again, you're handling your anxiousness well. i'm getting calm and balanced energy, but for some of you, you need to get over this tower moment before you can find balance and clarity again.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚 🌠

some of you are stuck in a shell, others are coming our of your shell. have you been feeling introverted lately? those kinds of moods where you don't want to leave your bedroom or home. you kind of just want to wallow in your own energy and avoid people and situations. i feel like most of you who chose this pile are homebodies anyway so you don't mind being stuck in this energy. but at the same time, you're looking forward to a positive energy shift. you're ready to finally leave your bedroom and see the sun. you're energy is being renewed, you're ready to let go of the loneliness and gloominess.

there is enlightening energy walking away from this isolation. i think some of you might be feeling disconnected from the world and from the people around you. maybe some of you got caught in this energy because of a breakup or a falling out. there is separation involved with some of you which has caused an imbalance in your life but you are slowly finding that balance again and putting effort into making things up to yourself. i don't feel this energy is too depressing, or too sad. however, it's definitely lonely and the decision to escape isolation is in your hands. make those plans you've been thinking about all week. focus on those projects that have been begging for your attention. it takes one small step start the shift in energy.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧 🌠

are you preparing for something right now, pile four? quite ambitious about something, you're excited for it. i feel like it's taking up your mind for most of the day. you've been looking forward to this. i think for some you're feeling quite practical and productive. i'm getting starting a new job or starting the new school year vibes. you've been looking forward to it. you feel confident. you have in your mind the exact type of person you want to be. you're excited to learn new skills and accomplish what you've been wanting. but you may be having issues with concentration.

for some, i think you have an exam or a project due but you've been neglecting it and it is making you feel frustrated. it's immature on your part. you've also been very materialistic lately, like you want to buy the new trendy thing you saw on the internet or you want to buy a new tech product like a phone or a laptop. you're having thoughts that you won't be happy until you own that thing but the problem is that materialism is like an addiction. you can't keep buying new things that aren't worth the money, it will hold you back. start asking yourself if you really need these things or if you need to start controlling your urges and take time off from the internet.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚 🌠

pile five, i think you are feeling quite stubborn art the moment. are you refusing to apologise for something? do you feel like others are ganging up on you? you're very determined but you are experiencing energy that is overbearing. it could be you're attitude to others, or others attitude towards you, or even your attitude to yourself. you want to get away from it all. you're feeling quite detached, however you are also feeling great awareness. you understand that with freedom comes vulnerability, but still, you're willing to make sacrifices as long as you can get away.

the energy and thoughts you are having are very much a double edged sword. for example, you're thinking of doing something which will benefit yourself but at the cost of those around you. be mindful of your ambitions because they can be damaging to yourself also. there is a hint of betrayal here, it's not for all of you. are you feeling defeated? do you feel like you're being forced to surrender? it's quite heavy energy, i think you're really going through it, pile five. but my message to you is to not stop planning for your future. despite all that is holding you back, you need a plan for if you ever decide to make the move to get away from it all. things will brighten up eventually.

𝙥𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙭 🌠

i think some of you are entering a celebratory period. it doesn't need to be for you necessarily, perhaps you are celebrating for someone else's occasion. but i think those who chose pile six are in a mood to be social and meet with friends and family, maybe dance to music and so on. some of you might be feeling weary of others' intentions. perhaps you don't feel comfortable with the way someone is treating you or you're getting a weird vibe from someone. you shouldn't doubt your intuition but at the same time, don't let it hold you back. go forth and meet with your people, celebrate whatever it is knowing that if anyone tries to hurt you, it's a reflection of their own insecurities, not yours.

as much as you want to, don't go picking for drama or calling people out. remain comfortable in your own wise energy and focus on the positivity in your life and of those around you. that is what will make them shut up, because they know their negativity or toxicity can't affect you. you have dreams and you want to reach them, so go for it. don't let anyone hold you back. let things remain a mystery. you don't need to know every single thing. i'm feeling that you want to be a high energy/high vibe person but you're not cutting out the things and people that lower your vibe. you're feeling afraid but just remember, you'll have so much more to celebrate when you do.

#ʚɞ jella’s readings #tarot #free tarot readings #tarot readings #tarot pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card #tarot reading #tarot pac #tarot pick a pile

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codylabs · 2 years

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One thing that's missing from a lot of the current Dracula discourse is an understanding of how vampires actually work in the book's universe.

In most of the modern portrayals we're used to seeimg, vampires are painted as tragic or conflicted figures, that are mostly the same as how they were before being bitten: the same person, just immortal and nocturnal and periodically possessed by bloodlust. Not so in the original book, and not so for our good friend Johnathan Harker.

In the original story that we're currently hearing, vampirism is much more of a transformation, and much more closely tied to undeath and demonic sin. Not only is it brought on by death, but the reanimated corpse retains none of it's soul and it's conscience and any trace of goodness it had in life.

Most of us were delighted and amused at the Count's bizarre antics in the story's first chapters, then suddenly surprised when it took a sudden turn toward horror and apparent homoeroticism when the Count saves Johnny from his 3 blood-slorpimg girlfriends and gives them a baby to eat instead. And yes, that is the point where the nature of the threat becomes clear, but the missed purpose of the first few chapters is to set up not only how absolutely disconnected the Count is from how a normal person lives and acts, but to show how this entire demeanor as a noble gentleman or a friend or a human being is nothing but a poorly-maintained facade, and a means to an end; that end, of course, being to move away from the superstitious and well-guarded countryside, and into a quiet home in the center of London, one of the most densely populous cities in the world at that time.

And somewhere in the Count's conversation with his three fine ladies lies another hint: that love means something completely and entirely different to vampirekind than it does to us. A human does, and should, love through care, concern, goodwill and service. The count wears these things like a mask around Johnathan, but between he and his ladies the mask falls, and we see that when they say love, they mean something else: something on the spectrum between lust and dominance and hunger, and probably closer to the latter. The Count being affectionate is not necessarily a sexy or appealing or desirable occurrence in any way whatsoever at all ever.

The story hasn't suddenly turned toward horror, it has been a slow revealing, to both us and Johnathan, that he is trapped in a castle not with a man but with a THING. It wears the skin and memories of a nobleman who died long ago, likely in one of those wars it's so fond of recounting, but it is even less his friend than we are. We, and Johnathan, can be certain now that the moment he has served his civilized purpose the pretenses will drop, and the beast and its beastettes will devour him,

And England is next.

I love this story. Familiarity and memes can turn horror into comedy so easily, as we have been proving, but beneath it all, this is some damn good horror.

#dracula daily #vampire

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inner-viper · 3 months

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Valentines Day With Your Lover

Hello, I trust that you all been doing well. It’s the start of a new month and I enjoy Valentine’s Day because of the romantic associations. Anyways, I’m launching a special Valentine’s Day NSFW tarot reading. Please check it out if you are interested in purchasing a romantic reading. You can claim it’s an act of self care ❤️

https://innerviper.com/products/valentines-day-nsfw-edition

Pile 1

Sexual Tarot Deck:

2 of Swords, Queen of Chalices, 4 of Chalices, 10 of Swords, and The World

This Valentine’s Day was special for the both of you. I feel like it was the start of a new relationship with them. So you both are getting to know each other, and really getting to see what’s behind the mask. It’s like you both are in the unmasking phase, there is a sense of belonging together. You both want to make it meaningful.

Although, someone does have feelings of commitment issues or disconnection with their lover. This could be you or them, regardless this person has had past experiences that weren’t the best. So, I’m seeing that they will work through their traumas and pains of the past.

Now, I am getting a vision of the both of you planning your date and how it’s going to go. There seems to be this general energy of wanting to spend more time with each other but their is conflict regarding your schedules. Determined to make the best of it, you both set a time to indulge.

The sexual connection is emotional and romantic. This feels like a “heart to heart” connection. I’m seeing you both wanting to consume each others soul. The sex is powerful, and deep. Anyways, someone will feel like they are lacking connection in their relationship. This person may be you. There is a strong desire to make you feel better. You could have self-esteem issues too. So they really want to comfort you!

Thank you for reading! For full reading join my Patreon click here.

Pile 2

Sexual Tarot Deck:

Knave of Chalices, King of Wands, 4 of Pentacles, Knave of Pentacles, and Ace of Swords

This Valentine’s Day is passionate and you are dominating. You are ready to conquer your partner. Wanting to mark them up, caress them, and claiming them. It’s like you are a predator dying to get your prey. This is intense and kinky because I’m getting a vision of you having toys set up and ready to go.

The sex is passionate, and warm. It’s not lacking anything and the both of you will feel more than satisfied. Their is a sense of greed coming from you though, you will want to selfishly keep your partner to yourself haha. I’m seeing that you both made plans ahead to book yourselves a getaway trip for Valentine’s Day.

Now, this trip could have been in some forest like area. I’m seeing a lot of woods and nature scenery. You could of have gone to Italy, or Spain! I’m seeing a European country as a vacation spot and Brazil, despite Brazil not being in Europe. Either way, you both planned the trip and outfits to match on your travels.

Speaking of outfits, I’m seeing you wearing lingerie or giving your partner sexy lingerie. It’s like you both like to have clothed sex sometimes. The teasing and flirtatious glances is what sets you both off. I am getting a vision of you teasing your partner by lifting your shirt, bending over, grabbing their hand and putting it over your crotch. I’m seeing your partner exchanging this energy with you too. They will be reciprocating your actions and letting you get peaks.

Thank you for reading! For full reading join my Patreon click here.

Pile 3

Sexual Tarot Deck:

6 of Wands, Queen of Pentacles, 4 of Chalices, 10 of Swords, and The Tower

Your Valentine’s Day is certainly transformative and it’s quite unique for you both. I’m seeing that this may be your first serious relationship, this being your first serious Valentine’s Day. So you’ll want to make sure it feels special for the both of you. They will feel the same way and will want to make you feel happy and comforted.

There seems to be this teasing energy that you have with them. Similar to pile number two, you may have resonated with that pile as well. Anyways, you will dress up and show off. You will tease them through your body, I heard “shape wear”. So, what comes to mind is wearing clothes that highlight your features.

Now, I’m seeing that this day will begin with you lifting your skirt up and not letting them touch you. If you are a man then I’m seeing you showing off your boner to them and teasing them. You will take control and will have your lover worship you. It’s like you have them begging for your attention and you like that.

There seems to be this energy of them wanting you to give and to fuck them already. You will be patient and won’t let them have their way this time. Also, they really like your thighs and leg. They find it to be squishy and thick. Someone could actively workout and show off their muscles from their calves too. Anyways, you will assert the power play right off the bat.

Thanks for reading! For full reading join my Patreon click here.

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savefiledelta · 3 months

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Hazbin Hotel, The Death of a Misogynist, and The Issue with Aesthetics of Redemption

Now that we have the pretentious psuedo-intellectual caption, let me clarify that I love Hazbin Hotel, Adam is a horrific (fictional) person whos actions shouldn’t be belittled in an actual discussion. I’ve been thinking about this horrible, horrible man alot though!

So, the baseline. The hook and pitch of Hazbin Hotel is that its a show about demons being redeemed and working through their issues while the world dismisses the idea of change. The actual story of Hazbin Hotel is a constant uphill battle against an unfair, fascist bureaucracy and the status quo of complacency its created, while the world dismisses the idea of change. My issue is I don’t think Hazbin Hotel is truly interested in discussions about redemption. I enjoy its discussions on status quo and complacency, but all its shown is that its entirely uninterested in talking about redemption in any meaningful way.

The character of Adam, from his first to near-last moments on screen is consistently characterized as an entitled, misogynistic, dangerous man-child who firmly believes himself above the concept of making mistakes. The first man thinks that he was made perfect and thus acts above those around him. (Despite this he is a delight to have on screen, hes hilarious, don’t @ me). In the final episode of Season 1, Adam is killed in an anticlimactic way after his third act breakdown. Perhaps its the shows own evident pacing issues, but I find it very strange that a show with the aesthetics of rehabilitation portrays Adam as beyond it, and a joke. (Which he very well might be, but it conflicts with the shows aesthetics). Why is a show which claims to be about second chances so disconnected to its pure-evil villains? This critique somewhat extends to Valentino, but I consider him to be more of a plot device for Angel’s own arc (which I love) rather than his own character (it would be extreme tonal whiplash to try to humanize him so soon after Poison) While Adam exists as an extension of heaven and one of the shows many embodiments of an evil status quo.

In the show’s current state, it doesn’t treat the residents of the hotel as “that bad” of people. Which is good for a show supposedly about rehabilitation! But it clashes so hard with how it (and to a worse degree its fandom, but I digress) treat characters who’re meant to be hated.

This post might not be entirely honest, as in Adam’s very last moments he smiles to his lieutenant in an admittedly heartfelt scene, humanizing him in a way the show didn’t care to before. And while I enjoy this, unless Adam and Lute’s possible remnants of humanity are explored in season 2, the show’s aesthetics are hypocritical with how it treats pure-evil.

Also Guitarspear😭

#adam hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lute #hazbin hotel #lute hazbin hotel #hazbin adam #hazbin lute #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin #guitarspear

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grendelsmom · 1 year

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I’m still so obsessed with Alicent’s and Aegon’s relationship. In many ways his birth dooms her. Aegon being born as a (potential) male heir means both the end of her girlhood (she is a mother now) and of her friendship with Rhaenyra, because sooner or later Rhaenyra’s interests and Aegon’s (and through him Alicent’s) interest will come into conflict. No matter how the green faction acts Aegon will always be a threat to Rhaenyra and while Alicent did trust Rhaenyra to keep her children save in the beginning they do grow apart and she is constantly reminded by her father that that might not be the case. So because Aegon’s birth means that there’s no turning back, he becomes both Alicent’s biggest responsibility as well as her and her children’s greatest protection - for Alicent the only way to keep them all save is for Aegon to succed. Not to mention that he is also her greatest failure. Every belief, every rule Alicent so desperately clings to in order to cope, Aegon fails.

Aegon himself is such an interesting character as well. He is the male heir Viserys longed for, born by the wrong mother. That is his first failure. His birth is the nail in the coffin of his mother’s happiness - how can he ever make up for that? How can he ever compensate that? And so he gets ignored by a father, who’s negletful and willfully ignorant of the harm he is doing, and a mother, who is too young to cope with how her life has changed. He failed before he ever got the chance to try and he wallows in self-pity because of it. So, he drinks and drinks and drinks. What does it matter if he dissapoints them now? If he hurts others? Even if he tried to be good, it would never be good enough. He suffers and pities himself even more for it, so much so that he completely disconnects from how his behaviour hurts others around him, even those he loves.

#especially the aegon part is just my reading of the show character #I'm up for discussing characters but if you just wanna tell me that the greens suck or anthing like that kindly refrain from doing so #believe me I already know 🥰😍#house of the dragon #alicent hightower #aegon ii targaryen #hotd

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exactlycleverpirate · 3 months

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Why Did Rafayel Do That?

My theory on what could have motivated Rafayel's actions, one in particular, in Chapter 7.11.

Spoilers for Main Story, Myth, etc, below.

So, why does Rafayel consider leaving MC to drown?

One possible explanation is that he thinks MC betrayed him, which I touch on in my post What Happened to Lemuria and Rafayel.

However, I find this explanation lacking, and given what we see in his myth, I posit another explanation.

In both the Myth and with current Rafayel, they meet MC as children, and Rafayel makes a vow to seek her out again. And both Rafayels do seek her out late as adults.

In the Myth, Rafayel is conflicted. The God of the Sea has protected the Lemurians since time immemorable, but Rafayel is no longer the God of the Sea and the Seas have dried up. Given how connected Lemurians are to the sea, I don't think it is a stretch to say that without it, they will eventually all die out, or at least fall into eternal slumber.

This is what we learn will happen to Rafayel if he does not get his heart back. He gifted it to MC, but for some reason or other, being disconnected from it appears to have caused the sea to dry up and is causing Rafayel's power and life to fade away. Possibly this is magnified by the fact that all of Philos appears to be leaching immortality off of Rafayel's heart. (Just take a moment to consider with me the possibility that Xavier would not be alive if not for Rafayel.)

So the only known way of resolving this and returning to being the protector for his people that he is supposed to be, is to reclaim his heart from MC, by killing her.

Now, given some of the other parallels between the myth and current Rafayel, let's extend that out.

This Rafayel does not refer to himself as a god, but he does feel responsible for Lemuria and its downfall, as well as for avenging it and protecting the survivors. Louis refers to Lemuria as the Siren's (read Rafayel’s) kingdom. I think it very likely that he is at the very least a prince of Lemuria. I don't think his role has changed from what it was in the myth. He has always been and will always be Lemuria's protector in every life.

But he failed in his current life, and Lemuria has all but been wiped out. I speculate that this is because MC already has Rafayel's heart, and that he has therefore been weakened, leaving Lemuria vulnerable. (Perhaps Lemuria has been is decline in the shadows for hundreds or thousands of years, ever since he first gave her his heart.)

So just as myth Rafayel must contemplate, so too must current Rafayel consider that to save Lemuria, MC needs to die and relinquish his heart. Myth Rafayel seems to genuinely consider whether or not killing MC is the right path, rather than dismissing it out of hand. Perhaps the current Rafayel also is wrestling with this. Maybe if he just let go, just swam away and let nature take its course, maybe he could return to his rightful role and save Lemuria.

But in the end, he cannot do it. He is bound to her and loves her dearly, so even though the cost is high, he is determined to find an alternative.

(Also, MC in the myth has to give her heart to him willingly. Perhaps this is what Rafayel is alluding to when he says that this is MC's "choice" when he rescues her from drowning.)

TLDR: Rafayel has two loves, MC and Lemuria. For both current and Myth Rafayel, these loves come into conflict, and he wrestles with who to save.

What do you think? Does this theory hold water (pun intended)? Am I cookoo for coco puffs? Have your own theory? Let me know in the comments or PM me!

#love and deepspace #rafayel love and deepspace #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel

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lttleghost · 1 year

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The Thematic Relevance of Jesse Pinkman as an Egg 🏳️‍⚧️

(I wrote this analysis awhile back and wanted to make a fresh post to update it!)

While not intentional, there is a lot in Breaking Bad that supports reading Jesse as an egg. This reading of Jesse has a lot of thematic and narrative relevance and also doesn't create any conflicts with the canon material. Jesse being someone who hasn’t realized he’s not actually a man yet could quite literally be canon.

This analysis is heavily based around parallels between Jesse’s character development and what Breaking Bad thematically associates with gender. It’s also heavily interconnected with the show's overarching theme of change, and also, at least for our two main characters of Walt and Jesse, the revealing of true self. There’s plenty of evidence that each of them already had the traits we see them with at the end of Breaking Bad. Jesse being this very kind and compassionate young adult and Walt being this egotistical monster.

But I would consider Walt's self-deception to be more shallow than Jesse’s self deception. While Walt did end up in a lifestyle that was opposed to who he truly was, he consciously knew what he wanted to some extent, whereas Jesse fully convinced himself that he was a different person than the one he truly is because he never really got the chance to actually figure out much about himself.

There are a lot of examples of Jesse’s disconnected sense of self throughout the show, but the first one that comes to mind has to do with his superhero OCs-

EDIT: YO! if you find video essays more engaging than reading a bunch of text, this analysis now also comes in video form [link]

I think that Jane’s observation that all of them looked like Jesse was, in fact, correct. I wouldn’t consider him doing this as a conscious decision but I feel that he almost admits it. After initially denying that his OCs looked like him and after Jane affectionately teases him he ends up saying to her “like you never wanted a superpower.” And while you could interpret this as just a response to her teasing, I’m convinced that there’s an additional layer to it. Especially because when Jane leaves to check the door, there's a moment where Jesse looks at the sketchbook with his drawings and it seems like he’s considering something, and I’d bet you anything that what he’s thinking about is whether or not he had actually drawn himself and this is REALLY interesting since-

Jesse is a criminal right? And while superheroes themselves are technically criminals as well, as vigilante justice isn’t actually legal, they’re still typically known to be ‘crime fighters’, and Jesse describes his characters as being such. So with his OCs subconsciously being depictions of himself and them being superheroes (crime fighters) and his current life as a criminal, you get the image of someone who doesn’t know who he is or what he wants deep down.

There’s no way that Jesse’s current delinquent lifestyle was his truly… preferred path. It’s much more likely it was the only thing he thought he could do successfully. It’s evidently been the one thing he’s made a decent living off of. He has no support from his parents, and doesn’t seem like he has had it since he was a highschooler. Jesse is shown to have no support outside of the drug trade. Most of his personal skills and interests are artistic or honestly domestic in a world that assigns more value to academics and he’s a highschool graduate who doesn’t have any job experience.

I also believe Jesse is very aggressively ADHD coded, and the combination of having virtually no support, struggling with addiction, and having undiagnosed and improperly self medicated ADHD would make slogging through any “respectable” job that he has access to, or any job that his parents might encourage him to do, unbearable.

So the drug trade was his best bet, Jesse even views cooking meth as a form of art, something that he’s passionate about.

I can’t in good faith ignore that doing something that is... generally frowned upon, didn’t factor into what Jesse chose to do on some level, as society and the structures that it’s built on failed him and there’s an inherent sense of rebellion that often forms in a person when they’re failed like that. Granted, superheroes also tend to often contain some commentary on societies failings as well. Jesse just couldn’t actually be a real-life superhero. So with the few benefits it had in practice compared to any other job, Jesse played into the rest of the role of a criminal, and convinced himself that the aspects of it that conflicted with his personality... didn’t, probably without even noticing.

Even more to this disconnect; When Jane asks “and that’s a superpower?” in response to Jesse explaining Backwardo’s powers Jesse responds with “come on, I was a kid when I drew these, it was like four years ago.” And Jesse is 24 years old in that scene, meaning that he would’ve been 20 when he drew these characters, and when I first wrote this analysis I was wondering whether or not Jesse had gotten involved with the drug trade other than buying drugs by that time, but there wasn’t really anything I could confirm any theories with.

But now I've got the Better Call Saul episode “Waterworks” where Jesse has his second cameo, where he is in fact, 20, and in that cameo Jesse accompanying Emilio, a person we know is his partner in cooking meth, to Saul’s office makes me certain he’s in it by that point. And I just have to wonder if Jesse’s superheroes were almost a… subconscious vent, a manifestation of how being a criminal in the specific way Jesse is, is not what he wants. Something that suggests that Jesse’s actual identity and his current view of his identity don’t line up.

Another thing to point out about the cameo that could be seen as additional evidence of Jesse’s discomfort with being more than just a customer of the drug trade is that he was hanging out outside of Saul’s office, and until Kim gave him one he didn't have a cigarette, so he wasn’t out there to smoke. And while there could be other explanations to why he was outside on his own, I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say, other than just his general skepticism of Saul, he was just not particularly jazzed to be where he was at that moment and not comfortable going inside.

So relating all of this to gender; that narrative of convincing yourself that you are the person that you’re supposed to be for your best chance of survival instead of being able to truly be yourself already works pretty strongly as an allegory for being trans. But to add onto that even more, thematically Breaking Bad associates “manhood” with the drug trade in one way or another, and paralleling how Jesse realizes he doesn’t fit into the drug trade like he thought he did with how he might not be a cis man like he thought he was makes for a really solid queer reading.

The whole show is pretty explicitly about toxic masculinity. Obviously in real life masculinity and manhood do not have to be toxic, and in Breaking Bad’s original intended story Jesse is a cis man who ends up not fitting into those toxic ideas of manhood.

Things that the rest of the male cast don’t blink at or at least have more mild reactions to, just tear Jesse apart. He’s also targeted at least a couple of times for having emotional vulnerability that is considered to be “not manly”. It’s much easier to point out the differences between him and the male cast than it is to point out similarities between them and this just gets more pronounced the longer the show goes on. He doesn’t really have any positive ties to being a man and I don’t think we can say we ever see Jesse actually reclaim his own sense of manhood. And I think that lack of reclamation gives even more legitimacy to the reading that, along with leaving the drug trade and all of its toxic masculinity bullshit behind, maybe Jesse just leaves behind being a man altogether, and maybe it was something that wasn’t really ever a true part of him, just like his life as a criminal.

Even at the start of the series Jesse’s attempts at hyper-masculinity come off as really goofy and performative. In episode one Krazy-8 mentions that Emilio thinks that Jesse might’ve ratted on him Jesse first has a much more genuine response of “that’s bullshit” which makes sense with his strong character trait of being loyal, but then he goes to say “I should kick his punk ass for even thinking that.” and it just sounds like fake bravado to me. There’s no way Jesse actually thinks he stands a chance against Emilio since Jesse has a body type that resembles a small bird and there's no way he has that little self awareness. He's just playing out a script that wasnt even well thought through, and while some of his other performances of masculinity don’t come across as that fake, there aren’t many that feel like they actually come from Jesse himself, they just feel like something that he just thinks he should do.

And while not every experience with men Jesse has is negative, there always seems to be some distance between him and the men he does have good relationships with. Jesse forms a parent-child type relationship with Mike that is healthier than any other he’s had up to that point other than probably his aunt, but there’s a part of Jesse that Mike never seems to fully get. When Jesse doesn’t want Lydia to be killed Mike says that 'this woman deserves to die as much as any man' and I think he misses that Jesse just still isn’t that keen on killing people even with everything he’s gotten involved with. Even if there are some acts of violence and even some people’s deaths he is fine with and thinks are justified, Jesse never fully adapts to “the job” the way Mike does, and Mike is just not quite able to understand that, or at least not why.

Jesse and his friends have a distance between them as well. Though they’re arguably not as entrenched in toxic masculinity as any of the other prominent men in the show are, and aren’t nearly as involved in the violence of dealing drugs despite being in the trade. Yet still Jesse’s interactions with them most of the time feel different and more withdrawn than their interactions with each other. Like Jesse really wants their presence and company and wants to fit in but there ends up being something that he can’t connect with alongside them, and this also gets more prominent as the show progresses. There’s parts where Jesse seems to be withholding how badly his “high rank” in the drug trade is affecting him when Pete and Badger seem to sort of idolize him for it and want in on it. I think Jesse sort of considers saying something to them about it, but he hesitates and doesn’t. He repeatedly doesn’t confide in them even though, while his friends do perform some facets of hyper-masculinity, they don’t really seem to target or reject vulnerability in the way most of the other men in Breaking Bad do. And Jesse’s distance from even the more harmless side of the male cast makes it feel like it’s not just the toxic masculinity that he’s disconnected from.

Jesse’s relationships with women even further separate him from the men of the show. His romantic relationships with Jane and Andrea read much more as relationships between equals, compared to Walt and Skyler or Hank and Marie. While Jesse does throw the “nice job wearing the pants in the family” insult at Walt in episode two of the first season, after Skyler almost caught him moving Emilio’s body, in Jesse’s own relationships he never actually tries to take control and doesn’t have any problem with Jane honestly being the person making more active choices for the both of them in their relationship, which Walt comments on by throwing that same “nice job wearing the pants” insult back at Jesse.

Another interesting thing found within Jesse’s relationship with Jane that ties them to specific gender roles happens after Jane doesn’t really introduce him to her father. Jesse asks about it and after a bit this Jane ends up saying “What am I supposed to say? Hey dad, meet the stoner guy who lives next door and by the way I’m sleeping with him?” and Jesse replies “Is that all you think you’re doing?”

It’s been pretty common for “the guy” to be considered as the one who sees a relationship as just being sex and “the girl” to see it as being romantic, and this is a very very dumb aspect of traditional western gender roles that this scene even has to subvert, but I think in the context of Breaking Bad’s dealings with gender roles the fact that Jesse is put in the role much more typically associated with women could be viewed as significant. And this significance can be extended to the show’s most prominent dynamic, dealing with the relationship between abusive men and women, Jesse is a victim. I’m not implying men can’t be victims of other men's abuse, but it does make Jesse easier to associate with women in the story, and while the narrative association comes from a negative place, the negativity is directed towards men. But the connection it forms between Jesse and women is a sense of camaraderie and even comfort, at least on Jesse’s side.

and with those connections with women I’d say the most accurate egg interpretation of Jesse is that she’s specifically transfeminine in some way.

I think in this analysis its important to specifically examine Jesse's journey with gender questioning as I think it follows the rest of the ups and downs in her learning more about herself in the resr of her character arc. My personal interpretation of Jesse is that she is a non medically transitioning nonbinary transfem person. The not medically transitioning bit is largely because I enjoy bringing attention to the existence of no-med no-op trans people and to push the point that not seeking medical transition doesnt make a person any less trans, though I do feel that since Jesse's relationship with gender is focused on the societal side of gender roles that don't really relate to physical form that it's a reasonable interpretation that she may not medically transition. I think she uses he/him and she/her pronouns, and is maybe a futch lesbian. I’m saying all of this because it'll be the lens through which I’ll be talking about Jesse’s journey with questioning his gender and how that progresses during the timeline of Breaking Bad. However I don’t claim this to be the only version of transfem Jesse that works with my analysis, or that it's necessarily better than any others that do work. I’ll also be mentioning concepts of “offscreen” additional scenes. That being said, if you’re someone who likes to stick 100% to the text given to us, the “offscreen” scenes aren’t exactly necessary for this interpretation to work as a part of the existing story as the general emotions behind them still stand.

I don’t picture Jesse as having any definable Gender (™) experiences when he was younger other than just a general sense of not belonging, though gender wouldn’t be the only thing playing into that. But as Jesse got older and struggled more, he started to purposefully play the part of what he saw as “a man” to survive in the only role that he thought he could. I see the thought “I wish I didn’t have to be a man” crossing his mind every so often though. I think he just deals with his place in the world for awhile, but after Walt enters the scene and Jesse experiences shit he really didn’t bargain for because of his old teacher, someone who is settling into a personification of toxic masculinity, Jesse’s frustration with being a man becomes more prominent and harder to ignore internally.

In my opinion Jane is the person that helped him start to solidify what exactly those thoughts were indicating. Her approach to relationships would be considered not traditionally cishet, and so is the way she presents herself in general, so I think Jane has some sort of knowledge about the complexities of gender, if she isn't actually queer herself in some way.

And she’s one of the only people we see Jesse truly, truly open up to and so I think at some point later in their relationship Jesse might actually say something about wishing she wasn’t a man around Jane, and I can see Jane saying that Jesse doesn't have to be a man if she doesn't want to be.

But then Jane dies, and I think as a result of that and the lesson Jesse learned from rehab “I’m the bad guy” he goes into just total repression mode. Embodying this new belief Jesse very much dips into the hyper-masculine behavior of the drug trade, he is much more concerned with money beyond paying bills and having nice things, and he plans to do the one thing in the entire show that makes me truly angry at him because of this whole thing, attempting to sell drugs to the rehab group. I don’t think he would’ve ever thought of doing something like that before. He’s trying very hard to be something that’s even further from his actual nature than we’ve seen up until this point.

Part of Jesse’s grief over losing Jane, a person who he confided in probably more than anyone else at that point, was to just completely close up, even to himself. Forget all of those parts of himself that resisted the rougher aspects of the drug trade he was getting dragged into and definitely forget about wondering if he really is a man or not.

At least until meeting Andrea and Brock, which snaps him out of that “I’m the bad guy” mindset, but by that time I think just, too much starts to happen for Jesse to have much time to question her gender. I wouldn’t consider her to be as actively repressing any sort of “I wish I wasn’t a man” thoughts but the amount of turmoil and danger that she’s in, just really really doesn’t lend itself to that sort of gender introspection as much.

I’ve got some additional thoughts on Jesse’s journey with gender that are more headcanons than actual analysis of the show so I didn’t include them in the text above. But I still really wanted to share because I like them and think that they really add to the analysis, so here they are;

I mentioned that I don’t think that Jesse had any particularly notable moments that might’ve suggested that she was trans when she was younger other than feeling out of place, but maybe he did have some interest in playing with “girls stuff” and her parents discouraged it because as we know they’re the shitty type of people who value their child being “normal” at the price of that child’s happiness, but I can also see her being one of those kids who just didn’t even grasp the differences between boys and girls stuff for a longer time than others, or I can even see Jesse’s last connection to the "male" side of gender being from when she was a little boy, before he was aware of the concept of what being a man was, and that it would be expected of her.

But later, in his adulthood, after the idea and pressures of "manhood" became very present in his life, one of the more certain instances of gender questioning I picture Jesse having is at some point while hanging out with Badger, Pete and Combo, Jesse screws around and puts on a dress. And he's like “haha I look like such a queer don’t I?” but is internally thinking something more along the lines of “ I will die before I tell anyone how this makes me feel” (that being that it makes him feel happy).

And then, as we enter into the timeline of the show itself; when Jane first tells Jesse that he doesn’t have to be a man if he doesn’t want to, I don’t actually think that Jesse would be receptive of it at first. I think it’s more likely that he’d decide he suddenly doesn’t want to have this discussion anymore and change the subject. Jesse would still have the misconception that you need to medically transition or at least be required to fit some sort of ‘criteria’ to be trans, instead of just identifying as a different gender than your assigned sex, and I think that would play some role in his not wanting to talk about possibly being trans. And even more because, while he could opt out of telling anyone that he’s trans, Jesse’s in a world in general that isn’t trans-friendly, but the drug trade he’s in specifically is very lgbtq-phobic. Jesse himself is definitely gonna have some internalized transphobia, we’ve seen his homophobia, and I definitely read that as a result of his environment rather than actual hatred considering at Jesse’s true core he’s a pretty caring person. But there are definitely people in the drug trade who would be violently homophobic and transphobic, and Jesse would know that, and would probably perceive even realizing that he is trans to be a threat to his safety. But, later on, further into her relationship with Jane I think she’d open up, even if only to Jane.

And that’s what I like to focus on the most with this analysis, all of the happiness and freedom and healing that Jesse gets to feel detaching himself from manhood, something that honestly contributed so much to every part of his suffering. And god does this girl deserve some happiness.

Then when for the most part too much is going on for Jesse to consider whether or not he’s trans, I still sometimes think of a situation where Jesse might’ve suggested? Her gender questioning to Mike, and while I don’t think Mike’s personal reaction would be technically negative, I think he’d tell Jesse to ‘please not share that with anyone else kid’. Which would be discouraging to Jesse, and she’d quickly backtrack, some because of the reaction on its own but also because he really already knows that it’d be stupid to say anything to anyone else, but it’s not until Jesse’s really free from the drug trade that she can finally crack that egg. I really like to think about the comfort and relief Jesse would get to feel no longer having to try and be a man, cause she finally realizes that she isn’t one.

#breaking bad #jesse pinkman #jesse breaking bad #trans jesse pinkman #queer analysis #breaking bad analysis #brba #jesse brba #this is my girlfriend don't touch him #meat.txt #this is a shortened and edited bit of my video essay script #i just like.... HAD to update my inital text analysis while im working on figuring out how to successfully record my video #cause the old one is so jumbled and stufff #or it feels jumbled to me now at least

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