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livinginshambles · 11 months

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Not ridiculous at all | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: You are part of the marauders, always having felt special when they called you part of the gang, but also consequently too embarrassed to admit to wanting to be more feminine, afraid that they would no longer deem you cool enough to hang out with you. You are hurt by James' comments and James might realise something when you're avoiding him.

Notes: Best friend!James, he's a bit stupid, Lily is a sweet friend, arguments, so maybe a little angsty, but not really, classic cliche tropes like friends to lovers, misunderstandings, pining (I literally just dreamt this so it's a bit patchy) and I know it's very stereotypical but that's why it's just fanfiction :)

(PS) I haven't written before, just wanted to get this out of my system. English is my third language, and this fic is not proofread because I'm way too lazy for that! Enjoy!

Part two Masterlist

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You've grown up with James Potter and have been part of the marauders since the very beginning. You always took 'being one of the guys' or 'part of the gang' as a compliment, it left you feeling giddy as if you were included in some secret group that only you had the privilege of belonging to.

But sometimes you would sit in the girls dormitory and despite your friends laughing and chatting about, you would feel a wave of loneliness wash over you. They often did activities together and by now, 6th year at Hogwarts, they've managed to stop asking you to join them as you've always dutifully replied that it 'wasn't your thing'.

I mean, what would the guys think of you? It would be too embarrassing to admit to them, or anyone for that matter, that you would love to be dolled up for once. To go shopping with your friends, be included in movie nights, asked by Alice if she could test some makeup on you, or read and gossip about the new romance novels that were the new hype.

Especially now when you sat on your bed, part of the circle in which they were discussing plans to go dress shopping.

"You should absolutely join us!" Alice squealed in delight. You were shaken out of your train of thoughts with a huh and realized the conversation had taken a turn somewhere and now included you too. Marlene and Lily nodded fervently in agreement but you bashfully shook your head.

"Nah, can you imagine me in a dress?" You joked, but Dorcas caught the curious and somewhat longing look in your eyes at the mention of getting ready for the Yule ball.

"I think you would look great actually. And besides, you can treat yourself too sometime you know. You're not obligated to stick with the marauders all the time." The girls in the dorm once again all agreed and you smiled at their kindness.

"Since when are you interested in things like the Yule ball?"

You snapped your head up at James to see his questioning eyes and then quickly averted your own in a flustered manner as if one of your greatest secrets had just been uncovered. "I just think it seems nice, that's all, I'm not even going or anything", you defended. You felt slightly embarrassed by James' face which wore a weirded out expression.

"Well you're not really the type to go to such an event anyway right?", James remarked. You did your best to hide your frown at his immediate agreement. Was it that bad that you'd hoped he would say something along the lines of 'what are you talking about, go enjoy yourself at the party' or something like that?

"Besides I can't imagine you in a dress, all made up, it'd just look so ridiculous." James continued. Remus, ever the sweet and attentive boy glanced at you and noticed your slightly sacked shoulders in disappointment at his words.

"I mean you're just not that type of person, you know? Like completely opposite of Lily."

And with that your face felt like it burned from embarrassment. As if you didn't already know. That didn't mean you didn't want to be more like her sometimes.

Peter's eyes flicked with concern from James to you and back.

You felt hurt and forced yourself to stop tears welling up at his words, mustering up a grin, ready to agree with him but were interrupted by Sirius who had now also caught your change in mood.

"Prongs, you really have no tact at all, how are you expecting to even win Evans over with that?" He said in a playful manner as to not offend their whipped friend, but not fully succeeding.

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" James looked slightly offended and Remus jumped in the conversation.

"That's just not a nice thing to say. It's different if you call me an ugly toad, but not Y/N! If she wants to go to the Yule Ball all dolled up, she definitely should." He shot you a supportive smile which you returned.

Peter nodded in agreement. "I don't think you'd look ridiculous at all," he told you sincerely. You subtly scooted a little closer to him and Remus.

"But it's Y/N, it'd just look weird, cause she's just not a proper girl like that, no offense." James shot back and gave you a smile at the last two words.

You saw Remus opening his mouth to retort but quickly intervened. "He's right." You told them. You just wanted this conversation to be over with already. It was awkward and painful for you as it was.

James didn't seem to get the memo, however, and kept on going, drilling your confidence further into the ground.

"See, she agrees." He turned to you. "It's not like you're ugly or anything but it'd be ridiculous. Like I said, you're not the type to be all beautiful and dressed up, hair done and all. I mean you're cool, but not pretty like that." He was clearly not done yet and started talking about Lily and her beauty at which point you abruptly got up and left.

"What's gotten into her?" James remarked with a frown.

Sirius and Remus didn't even bother to answer and just stared at him in disbelief.

The girls comforted you as you cried. Marlene barged in with ice cream, stolen from the kitchen in one hand and 5 spoons in the other. "What a jerk." She commented and thrust a spoon in your hand before plopping down in front of you with the rest of your friends.

Lily sighed frustratedly. "See this is why I don't like him at all. He's so rude and arrogant, and he-"

"- is right." You answered dejectedly. "I'm your friend, but not the type to join you guys and belong to your circle."

"Well that's only because you hang around the boys all the time," Alice argued. She nudged you. "But you know what, now that James is being a git, you can hang out with us!"

Dorcas gasped dramatically. "We could do a girls night! Treat ourselves a little", she jumped up. "I'll get the face masks and nail polish!"

Lily let go of you too and told you to sit up. "Come on, let me do your hair," she smiled.

With Marlene feeding you ice cream, your nails being polished by Alice, hair done by Lily and Dorcas reading the latest romance novel out loud while you were all wearing a facemask, you couldn't help but feel all warm inside.

"I love you guys."

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

You laughed and pushed Marlene teasingly off the bed.

"Hey, watch it! I just finished your right hand." Alice complained.

James was a moron. He was kind hearted (to most), popular, captain of the Quidditch team, good looking but a moron nonetheless. So he was absolutely clueless to find you missing from the common room yesterday evening and even more clueless when you were missing from your usual spot next to him at the Gryffindor table in the great hall, because he could not for the life of him think of a reason why you would sit with Alice and Frank instead.

He frowned and felt uneasy at the fact that you hadn't even looked at him, let alone come for a hug with your smile and said 'good morning' like usual. He shook the thoughts away. You were obviously allowed to have your own friends as well and not obligated to spend all your time with him.

The door of the great hall behind him opened and Lily Evans walked in, which was why instead of walking up to you to say something, he habitually turned to Lily instead.

"You look beautiful this morning as usual. I could put in the effort to match you when we go out together?" He shot her a wink and a coy smile but faltered slightly when his attempts at flirting got even less of a reaction out of her than usual.

James turned to Sirius with a questioning look, as if to ask 'you noticed that too right?' but Sirius simply shrugged. When James looked back at Frank and Alice, you were gone, having left the moment you felt his stare.

James started to ponder. 'Were you avoiding him? Surely you wouldn't, right? You two were friends after all, childhood friends. Childhood best friends even, for Merlin's sake! If you were upset with him, you'd definitely let him know.'

A week passed with you, sitting on the opposite sides of the classroom, seemingly having picked partners long before class because how else would you team up with random students before James could even blink?

He had now fully accepted that you were avoiding him. And with that, he meant 'accepting the possibility of that occurrence'. He was by no means going to accept your strange new behavior without doing anything.

The last drop though, was when he heard the news from Peter that you'd already left for Hogsmeade with the girls.

He frowned. 'You were kind', he reasoned. If you were upset with him, then he'd have to apologize. Quickly. Because it's been far too long without his best friend and he realized he missed you. Especially seeing you hang out with others.

"What did I do?" He finally asked his remaining friends.

"Really Prongs?" Remus couldn't help but ask. His friend just gave him a look that said 'well go on then, what is it'.

"How about you think about what you said last week, you know, those rude comments about the Yule ball."

"Yeah, but I already apologized yesterday and told her that I didn't mean to offend her!" James flailed his arms around when he exclaimed it.

"But she's still only hanging out with anyone but me," he whined. "Peter studied with her, Pads got a 'good morning' this morning and you're still talking to eachother.

Remus gave him an unimpressed look at his whining but James was not done complaining yet.

"She keeps spending all her time with the girls while she doesn't even seem to be fully enjoying herself"

This was true. You dearly missed James, so despite your newfound hobbies, a look of sadness sometimes fell over your face, which hadn't escaped James' attention.

"And I just don't understand why she would-" He started but never finished, something dawning on him. "Oh of course! Merlin, I'm so stupid!" He shouted out in epiphany.

"Your words not mine," Sirius quickly took the opportunity.

"Oh bugger off Pads", James laughed and pushed Sirius' arm. And with that, he took off to find you.

Sirius and Remus watched him leave and sighed at the same time. "Do you really think he got it?"

"I bloody hope so, Moony."

"But it's James."

"Yeah, but I mean it's not my fight but even I realize that she's sad that James made fun of the idea of her being more girly when she secretly wants to be. Now she's trying out what she likes, without having to stay within the role of 'one of the guys'. I mean, it's pretty straightforward. I guess a genuine apology and show of support is the solution."

"But it's James."

"Yep, you're right."

Though he hadn't been able to find you, he'd waited patiently for your return in the common room. Staring at the ceiling from his laid back position on the couch.

"Oh there you are, Y/N," He rushed to sit up to face you when you entered the room. If you were surprised by his presence, you didn't show it.

"We need to talk, I wanted to apologize." He breathed out, relieved at himself for having figured it out. "Also, I've missed you so much."

You felt a weight fall off your shoulders. You didn't want to be upset with him and felt incredibly relieved to hear him say that.

"I'm sorry for the things I said. I didn't mean for you to get offended or anything," James began.

"Yeah, you already said that." You frowned. "And I remember I told you that that was not a proper apology."

"I know, I know. It was shitty of me so I wanted to apologize. Properly you know? I'm really really sorry. I was a terrible friend and shouldn't have said the things I said. Please forgive me?" He proceeded to give you Bambi eyes in an attempt to convince you. It unsurprisingly worked.

You softly smiled up at him. "Okay". You barely got the word out before he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

"Great," he said, cutting through the comfortable silence that you two had been hugging in.

"Now you don't have to avoid me anymore, and you can stop sitting with the girls to prove your point, and join us again instead." He triumphantly continued.

What now?

You blanked. "I'm sorry?" You managed to ask.

"I get that I hurt you by saying your weren't a proper girl, but you don't have to pretend to prove your point by trying to be one." James stated, proud of himself that he figured it out.

"Because I can see that you don't like it, like your face gets all gloomy which is understandable because it isn't really your circle of people."

You stared at him, an incredulous look on your face.

"Fuck you James." You said, your voice coming out softer than you'd hoped. Tears were welling up again, but you couldn't help yourself.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I do want that to be my circle of people? That I don't just want to be one of the guys all the time? Is it that crazy to think that I'm still a girl with feelings? That I want to feel pretty too? That I don't like being told by my supposed best friend that I'm basically ugly? That I hate to be compared to other girls like that?"

You were ranting and James had taken a step back, surprised by your outburst.

"No, that's not what I-", James tried to salvage the situation but you weren't having it.

"You've told me that stuff for as long as I can remember and I never told you otherwise because I was scared that you'd no longer want to hang out with me for not being a 'chill friend'. But you know what, I no longer want you to."

At this point, you angrily wiped your eyes to get rid of tears that were threatening to spill. "So fuck you". With that, you brushed past him, escaping upstairs to your room.

James Fleamont Potter felt absolutely miserable.

If anyone told James that you'd ever be more on his mind than Lily, he would call them ridiculous. But here he was, another week had passed and he was staring at your back as you were leaving with your friends for Hogsmeade again.

You weren't wearing your school uniform and robes anymore and James was surprised to see you wearing one of what he knew to be Lily's dresses.

'It suited you more than it suited Lily.' The unwarranted thought flashed through his mind and he shook his head with a scoff to himself. What was going on?

James also noticed that your hair was brushed and shining with a butterfly clip holding your hair in a bun. He wondered when you decided to change your hairstyle because he found that it framed your face perfectly.

'Not ridiculous at all,' he understood.

You looked absolutely perfect.

You turned your face a little and James could feel his head reeling. Have you always been this glowing? Was he just simply missing you? He didn't even realize that he hadn't spared Lily a glance- until Sirius mentioned her while they were having a drink - and a strange feeling washed over him at the thought.

You were running from Filch.

'Fuck I shouldn't have studied after hours, curfew was probably hours ago," you cursed to yourself and took a sharp right turn. You were trying to reach the secret passage right behind the big statue on the fourth floor when you saw the hallway light up because of Filches torch.

Forcing your legs to move faster, you were suddenly grabbed by the wrist. A hand was clasped over your mouth and you felt a heavy cloth fall over you.

You recognised the person pressed to your back immediately and tried not to melt in his embrace as Filch walked straight past the two of you, covered in the invisibility cloak.

You could feel his breath against your temple. His hand had dropped from your mouth, instead draping across your stomach now to rest on your side. The other held out in front of you to create space under the cloak. You shifted a little and finally turned your head and lifted it to look at him and thank him but you were unable to say anything for a moment.

You simply admired him.

The proximity of the two of you in that intimate embrace had something fluttering in your stomach and you harshly jerked away in denial when your feelings hit you.

Oh no.

Now, all suddenly? What changed? Does it really take one random moment to flip your world upside down?

You rushed to push the invisibility cloak out of your way and then left without sparing James another glance.

James couldn't force his legs to move to run after you, still reeling from about the exact same epiphany that you'd just run away from. Your gaze, his fast beating heart and the urge he had felt to lean down for a kiss had confirmed his conflicted feelings of the past few days since he'd seen you leave for Hogsmeade.

The following morning, you'd had the chance to properly process the happenings of last night.

Your conclusion was that you felt guilty that you hadn't even expressed your gratitude. It was rude, you figured. Even if you were overwhelmed by the sudden wave of realization that came crashing down on you, it was rude.

So you pushed your confused feelings aside and marched up to him when you found him in the great hall.

"Thanks, I owe you." You awkwardly said, stopping at his spot at the Gryffindor table. All while absolutely not having forgotten about the fact that the last time you had said something to him, you'd flipped him off and told him to go fuck himself.

James was absolutely beaming. "Yeah you do, but no worries, I'll cash it in right away." This was his chance. He would make up for his behavior and act on his feelings right now.

"How about a date?"

There was a long silence. Your heart plummeted to the ground. Right. James. Lily. Lily and James.

"What am I a magician?" You finally managed to sarcastically retort. "I'm a convincing person but not a miracle worker." You pulled your hand through your hair as you looked around the great hall to see if you could spot Lily.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do." You forced a smile.

James, who had been mostly confused at your words, disregarded it completely in delight at your acceptance to go out with him, even if it seemed somewhat reluctant. Not that it would matter because he was going to prove what an amazing boyfriend he could be. If you'd accept him, of course.

He was grinning from ear to ear, which you mistook as excitement at the prospect of a potential date with Lily. So when you abruptly turned on your heels and marched over to Lily, James watched you confusedly.

And when he heard you try to talk Lily into going out with him, he wanted to crawl in a ditch and die. He stood there, frozen and recounting how you could've interpreted that wrongly.

You returned to him after a while with an apologetic smile. "Yeah sorry Prongs, she-"

"You", he blurted out.

You raised your eyebrows. "Me?" You repeated back.

"The date, I meant you. A-and me of course. Us, like you and me on a date. Together. I thought maybe Hogsmeade?" He managed to force the words out nervously.

There was a long silence and James' shoulders slumped a little. Even more when you finally answered.

"Uh, no?" You said in a questioning manner. James officially wanted to die now.

"You're sweet James, and I don't think you do it on purpose but you're not interested in me like that." You began, trying to convince not only James, but yourself as well.

James opened his mouth to argue but you quickly interrupted him before he could properly do so.

"James, you really don't. And you asking me out on a date when you've quite literally been drooling over Lily just last week as you have been doing for the past 5 years, that's not very nice to me." You frowned.

"Oh." He whispered. He was once again at a lack of words for a moment. Terrible new habit, he thought. This was not how he thought it would go.

"I'd still gladly go with you to Hogsmeade though?" You offered. "Just you know, not as an easy second choice date while you are obviously head over heels with her."

'I'm not', he wanted to tell you, but it was obvious that you wouldn't believe him. "Yeah okay," he weakly smiled. "Just the two of us though."

You nodded and stepped forward, wrapped your arms around him and he leaned into you, returning the hug.

With his face pressed in your hair, eyes closed, he decided that this situation wasn't too bad. He's fought for Lily's affection for years. He'd fight harder for yours.

Part two

#james potter x fem!reader #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #marauders era #marauders #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #james potter fluff #james potter angst #james potter fic

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melishade · 2 months

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Another banging chapter !!! Thank u for the recent chapter in this tiresome day I have several questions for this one 1. Erwin against genocide ? Hmm, I thought he fully support Rumbling, dont judge me, I only follow trend if Erwin lived instead of Armin, he'd beside Eren trampling the world. Elaborate your opinion, cause I dont get it. 2. Why in the backward earth didnt Megatron and his co tell about Eren situations and his ability ? Everyone could've prepared for the worst if they tell Survey Corps about them, especially OP, Hanji, Levi, Armin, and Mikasa. Hell, maybe they will try to convince Eren, or maybe sorry ass beat up in Levi case. Nah, it wont change Eren to change him unleashed his bullshit shitstorm. I have a prejudiced about Louise freed Yelena and the rest of Extremist Restorationists from jail. Oh maybe you can make OP and Megsy realized there is a trigger for Eren ability (Cough cough, Historia) 3. Wil you make Kenny meet Levi and tell him that he is in the good side now (sort of) ? Cant wait for trio Ackerman in action, Kenny and Levi bickering, Mikasa tired for their shit and tried to stop it, it would be hilarious IMO

OK, I think thats all. Huff, thats quite a lot to ask. Thx :)

So these are spoilers for Attack on Titan and Attack on Prime chapter 82, so go read it if you haven't.

First question about Erwin I think that Erwin could go either way when it comes to supporting or opposing the Rumbling. You just have to look at Erwin's character as a whole. Because his motivation for joining the Survey Corps was to find out about the secrets of the outside world and prove his father's theory. A selfish motivation. But when he survived his first expedition and watched his dying comrades give heart and soul to the cause, he had to hide his ambitions behind the glory of humanity's survival because he felt so guilty for leading his comrades to his death for his own selfish benefit. I'm sure that some part of Erwin did believe in the survival of humanity when he was alive in the main story, but it wasn't a top priority. Not to mention he was doing monstrous shit and sacrificing his comrades when he needed to in order to achieve his goals. His plans were effective, obviously, but it literally took him a mountain of corpses to get there. So you could factor in Erwin's selfishness for wanting to activate the Rumbling and his desire to do anything and everything to protect the walls and have his plans succeed. If we are looking from the perspective of Erwin's selfishness and him playing his part as a monster to ultimately protect the island, then Erwin would be in support of the Rumbling.

But I think the one key scene that would make Erwin oppose to the Rumbling is his death charge. His final stand. Because Erwin didn't have to go to Shinganshina, but he wanted so desperately to see what was in the basement and prove his father right. But right when the Survey Corps backs are against the wall as Zeke is killing them off slowly, and Erwin confesses his sins to Levi, Levi tells him to die, and Erwin says thank you to him. Erwin's last stand is him abandoning his dream, abandoning his selfish desires and finally fighting for humanity. Erwin's last stand was that of glory and altruism because he was finally doing the right thing for the right reasons.

Mind you, the Walls have always been cruel to him. It was the people in the walls that killed his father, not the people in Marley. It was the people in the walls that scorned and ridiculed the Survey Corps. It was the people in the walls that arrested him and beat him and planned to execute him. He knows just how selfish and cruel humans can be, but he still chose to fight in the Survey Corps. He didn't abandon his own dream, and he didn't abandon humanity despite the cruel treatment, so I don't believe he would allow for the destruction of the outside world because they all hate him and the island.

In AOP, Erwin's story plays out differently. He lives, and tells his sins to Optimus during the coup, and Optimus is understandably angry at Erwin. Erwin's guilt came to the surface when Optimus showed up, because Optimus has always been altruistic in nature, but Erwin hasn't. So when Erwin gets to live and leave the Survey Corps because Optimus said he wouldn't serve if Erwin was in command, Erwin is left with guilt and shame at the lives he let die out of selfishness. Now Eren wants to do that, kill lives out of what is clearly selfishness, and Erwin can't let that happen out of guilt and compassion. Erwin has abandoned his humanity multiple times, but I think when it really comes down to it, Erwin will still find a way to chose his humanity to make up for the cruel things that he's done.

Of course, we'll never know how Erwin would react in season 4. He merely watched from the Paths along with everyone else. But I think the salute at the end signified that he supported Levi and his choice.

Second question regarding Megatron's secrecy.

Megatron's team consists of Erwin Smith, a retired member of the Survey Corps, a civilian who's not supposed to know top government secrets, Nile Dok, someone who is sharing those top secrets to a civilian, and Kenny fucking Ackerman, the guy who killed over 100 MPs, was part of the old government, and was in prison before Erwin broke him out. If Megatron's comes up to them now with this information, they're going to ask how he got it, and he can't bring up their information. If he does, he's in deep shit, Nile loses his job, Erwin goes to prison, and Kenny will be killed. It's the same reason why they had to omit Erwin and Kenny from the report and say that it was Nile, Ymir, and Megatron who suspected Zeke's treachery. Megatron was already mistrusting of Zeke, Nile had info on the wine transportation, and Ymir was a witness. They have to frame it so that information gets told without sounding like a madman while no one gets arrested.

Third question

Kenny and Levi will interact in AOP. It's just way later. lol. But the other stuff I can't answer because that will be too many spoilers.

I hope these answers are to your liking.

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chuuyrr · 2 years

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venom

tokyo revengers x reader

masterlist of the series

chapter seven. reminiscence

warning(s): anime/manga spoilers, use of strong language, mentions of violence and blood

i had to rewrite this chapter 73892 times because i wasn't satisfied with how i wrote the first two original drafts and then i had the worst migraine in my entire life a few days ago so yeah :") i didn't proofread any of this bit so expect typos and shitty grammars.

this will contain reader's backstory crumbs!

ANYWAYS REBLOGS, LIKES AND COMMENTS ARE HIGHLY APRECIATED <3

it was an early morning and school decided to be a massive ass to you today because you just happened to have a quiz in math today. not only were you physically exhausted, but mentally exhausted too. it's not like you just went head-to-head with tokyo manji gang's leader yesterday and had him fetch you home, and you barely got home.

mikey got hungry, so he drove you to a dorayaki stall in the middle of the night (he may or may have threatened the person in charge) to eat and treat you, and before you could finally head home to get some rest—he just had to ran out of gas last minute and you two had to go to a station first. it was besotting, but somehow you had fun despite the ups and downs. you haven't had that kind of fun since your mentor left.

but he just had to do that one thing before he dropped you off at your apartment last night.

"here we are, home sweet home!"

mikey stopped his CB250T motorcycle in front of the address you gave him. "your parents aren't going to kill you for coming late, are they?" he chimed in the last part, remembering how late it was already. "wait, am i supposed to hide?"

you shook your head, letting out a sigh before belting out a chuckle. "nah, i live alone. so, you're not getting your ass kicked by anyone."

mikey's face dropped, "oh, no siblings either?"

"nope. i'm an only child." you shrugged your shoulders. "it sucks, i know."

it really did suck to not have anyone else in your life. no siblings to annoy or scold you around when your parents weren't present. sure, it was nice to be able to do the things you want, but it was a bit too easy.

"hey, [name]-chan?"

you were getting off his mikey's motorcycle when he called you. you lifted your head, humming in question.

"yeah?"

you quipped and to your surprise, a hand placed itself on the top of your head and literally pat you—causing you to freeze up at the sudden action and your head to scream "what the fuck"

"sorry for the trouble." mikey smiled at you warmly. "i had fun, i hope you did too. let's do that again together sometime, but not the fighting part though!"

why the fuck was he smiling at you like that? no, what was that headpat fo—

"oi! [name]-san!"

you slammed your math notebook closed before looking up to see rie eyeing you weirdly. you mentally cursed yourself for the sudden action you did and cracked an awkward smile once you realized it really was her.

"rie.. hey?" you inwardly cringed at the tone of your own voice.

rie raised a brow at you before laughing, "yeah, hi? you seemed to be daydreaming. were you thinking of someone?"

although your thoughts drifted of towards the events that took place yesterday along with mikey fetching you home, you shook your head and scoffed—pretending the best you can. rie still doesn't know that you joined toman and that recklessly you fought their president. "why would i be thinking of anyone? i was reviewing my notes for math."

"[name]-san, you've been reading the same page over and over." rie deadpanned. "and you just closed your notebook.."

you waved a hand dismissively, belting out a chuckle. rie, for the love of god stop. i don't want to remember. "you just scared me that's all."

"alright, if you say so."

rie shrugged her shoulders at you before taking a seat beside your table to place down her school bag and notebooks for math. the brunette was rummaging in her bag for her highlighter when her eyes fell upon the bandages wrapped around your arms that was lightly exposed by the sleeve of your jacket.

"did you get into another fight, [name]-san?" a gasp escaped her breath.

you raised a brow at her for a second before you immediately yanked down the sleeve of your jacket down, flashing rie a smile. "huh? oh, no! these are still the bandages from the fight. my arms still hurts, you know."

"are you sure you've been resting? i've heard from the students earlier that toman came here yesterday." rie gave you a look in the eye. but before you could even answer, her serious expression changed. "oh my god, did mikey came to see you? did he at least bring you food while i was gone?"

"stop! i do not want to remember." you groaned, dropping your face onto your arms that were flat on your desk.

"so, something did happen while i was gone. oh, come on. tell me!"

nothing definitely happened and most certainly you didn't become under toman's first division—that's what you wanted to tell rie, but you knew that telling would make her kill you.

"nothing happened! they just went to look for me at the rooftop." you scratched the nape of your neck. "i was eating lunch alone since you weren't around."

"oh, sorry about that! i was supposed to go to school yesterday since i was feeling better already. but, my parents insisted that i give it another day to rest." rie sighed, finally taking a highlighter from her bag to go over her noted as she spoke to you.

"you needed it though, you got a concussion from a bat swing!" you whispered yell the last part, not wanting the entire class to overhear the true incident that occured to you and your friend.

"oh, yeah? well, you passed out way longer than me. if anything, i've got a thicker skull!" rie bit back with the same hushed whisper, playfully glaring at you at the same. "i woke up before you!"

"what the fuck, rie! don't compare your thick ass skull to me." you choked on your spit, a smile tugging on the ends of your lips which later on turned into a fit of laughter. "you literally dropped dead and i nearly cried!"

"but i lived bitch." rie rolled her eyes at you sassily before joining your laughter.

you shook your head, trying to control the laughter spilling from your mouth. "you came back to school just to boast that at my face, you're insane sometimes."

"says the one who beats people up for a living!"

"touché."

if anyone were to overhear your conversation with each other, they would mostly probably think you two have gone mad.

you and rie have the wildest conversations. you were both chaotic together, even if you two tend to bicker for the most part. rie had grown casual about delinquency thanks to her exposure because of you and toman, but that doesn't mean she doesn't worry about you. she highkey worries about you everytime you come to her with someone else's blood on you and worse—with a wound on you.

she might have the same physical strength as you, but rie had information gathering skills. your friend can easily grasp the rumors and infos around the school and even outside the campus. in fact, she's the one who told you all about toman, from their divisions, captains and current number of members.

eventually, the two of you resumed to your last minute studying for the math quiz, but you still couldn't help but laugh along with her as you two recalled your conversation together; momentarily forgetting the events that took place yesterday.

the two of you did stop laughing when the class bell finally rang and math started.

"hey, [name]-san?"

you hear rie whisper to you. "i don't get the first question.."

"me neither.." you answered, almost gulping as you began to sweatdrop just from skimming over the contents of your math quiz.

"didn't we study this?"

"we're fucked, [name]-san."

after surviving your hellish math quiz along with your other subjects, you were famished. unfortunately, you couldn't head home right away since you were assigned to clean up the classroom after the last subject. not only that, but rie couldn't go home with you since she got picked up by her mom. she did promise to come home with you tomorrow though to make it up to you.

at present, you were wiping the chalk off the blackboard while three of your classmates were picking up rubbish and arranging the furniture of the classroom when a knock came from the door.

"come in!" you called over to whoever was outside, even though anyone who could have just simply entered.

as soon as the classroom door opened, your classmates shuddered, letting out a small yelp and automatically hid behind you. you directed your gaze at the door to see two familiar faces, the first division captain and his vice captain.

"baji! chifuyu!" your shoulders dropped, relief washing over you.

"oops, didn't mean to scare you." baji glanced at your three classmates that were hiding behind you while chifuyu apologized to them.

"what are you guys doing here? we're still not yet done cleaning the classroom." you sighed and threw your thumbs at the messy room.

"it's okay, [name]-san. we'll clean up! you and rie should go ahead." one of the girls quipped, tugging the sleeve of your jacket ever so lightly.

"what? no! it's okay, i'll help." you fully-turned your back towards the girls who were persistent.

"but it must be important, plus those toman guys look scary." the other one gulped, nervously glancing at the tall brunette. "especially the tall one."

"i'm not scary!" baji immediately retorted, causing chifuyu to snicker.

you shook your head at your captain before glancing at the three girls, "are you sure you three will be fine on your own?"

"yes! you've done so much for us already, [name]-san. we'll be fine, we promise." the third one claimed optimistically with a smile beaming on her face.

after a couple of negotiations and convincing from your classmates, you finally gave in but not before giving them a quick hug and saying your goodbyes. you picked up your school bag and followed baji and chifuyu outside the campus.

"where's your friend, [name]-san?" chifuyu asked, noticing how the familiar brunette seemed to be missing from your side. "how is she?"

you answered with a smile. "oh, rie is fine! she went to school today, but her mom picked her up."

"you really care for those girls, huh?" baji quipped, referring to your classmates who stayed behind and let you leave with them.

"of course." you grinned in response at him. "they're my friends too."

baji and chifuyu shared a glance after that. you might have a tough and possibly dangerous exterior whenever you were serious, but you had a kind heart deep inside. they could tell how you cared for the people around you, especially those you held close to your heart just like rie. even if you were battered already, you'd continue to remain unyielding just to risk your life and protect them.

"say, what does mikey want with me anyway? are beating someone up?" you quipped.

baji explained, "what? no! mitsuya is going to make your uniform. we're heading to his clubroom at his school."

"oh, right. i still don't have one."

you folded your arms, following baji and chifuyu head over to their parked motorcycles from a distance when you saw something familiar to you. "woah! is that a suzuki gsx250e?"

baji answered, raising a brow at you. "yeah, that's mine."

"how did you know [name]-san?" chifuyu looked at you in astonishment.

"an old friend of mine had one in the past and they'd take me out for late night rides in shibuya and shinjuku with it." you explained before enthusiastically facing baji. "can i ride with you?"

"uh, sure. go ahead!" baji couldn't help but smile at the look on your face.

you hurriedly hopped onto baji's motorcycle after he unlocked it for you and placed your feet on the passenger pegs. you smiled at the memory that resurfaced on your head. you remembered the nostalgic rev of the engine and the feeling of wind on your face as you rode the motorcycle with your friend down the streets.

to baji and chifuyu, you looked like a six year old was incredibly excited to get her favorite ice cream. it was an uncommon sight for them to see you display a childish demeanor. as your kindness reminded them of takemichi, this side of yours in particular reminded them of mikey.

"hold on tight, okay?" baji quipped, glancing at you from his shoulder as he hopped on after making you sure you were settled.

you nodded, grabbing onto his shoulder to pull yourself closer to his back.

when baji smoothly pulled the two of you from the side, your couldn't help but smile wider. the ride was nostalgic. it made your heart well with joy and sadness at the same time as you remembered your old friend; your mentor—the one who took you on your first ride on a motorcycle.

"we're going too fast, misaki-san!"

"we're being chased! hold on!"

the two of you were being chased by the police at that time and you thought you were going to die at that exact moment, but your mentor easily whizzed past them both with her skill and sweet ride. ever since then, the two of you went on late night rides together and you were able to conquer your fear of going too fast while riding motorcycles. you have grown to love the thrill and feeling it left on your skin. misaki didn't just teach you how to face that fear, misaki taught you how to fight and keep a strong mindset.

you'll never forget your mentor.

"[name]-san!"

you didn't realize how fast you arrived until you looked up to see a familiar faux hawk haired boy along waving at you from a distance. once baji and chifuyu parked the motorcycles to the side of mitsuya's supposed school, you hopped off baji's suzuki gsx250e and greeted the blonde.

"oi, michi!" you waved at takemichi, "what are you doing here?"

"haven't you heard, [name]-san?" you turned your head towards chifuyu. "takemichi is a part of toman now."

"i'm under the second division though." he explained to you with a smile.

you nodded, before belting out a chuckle. "i see. looks like i'll be seeing you more often then, michi-boy."

"alright, you two start walking. you wouldn't want to make mitsuya wait." baji placed a hand on takemichi's and your respective shoulder to guide you inside the campus, cutting your conversation with him short.

"stop moving and stay quiet."

you pursed your lips into a thin, doing your best to keep yourself still as you watched mitsuya make use of his measuring tape on your arms, legs and torso. this was the first time you had seen mitsuya this serious. usually, he was approachable with his calm and collective aura but the way he spoke to you with authority just now freeze. after a couple of minutes, mitsuya returned to his sewing machine with your measurement.

you let out a relieved sigh and finally got some air. you were barely breathing when mitsuya was measuring you for the uniform.

"sorry about that [name]-san." mitsuya muttered a quick apology, noticing your expression from the corner of his eye.

you told him assuringly, waving a hand at him. "it's okay, no worries."

you sat on of the desks along with chifuyu and takemichi while baji leaned against the back of the classroom as the four of you patiently waited for mitsuya to finish. you ended up talking to chifuyu, baji and takemichi to kill some time and occasionally asked mitsuya, but as much as possible you avoided it so you wouldn't interrupt him from his work.

you ended up knowing about how baji and chifuyu met; how baji had to repeat a year for his studies, his and chifuyu's fondness for stray animals like cats. as for takemichi, you learned how he's good at solving puzzles. you found a rubic's cube lying somewhere in the clubroom when takemichi offered to solve it for you and he ended up doing it less than two minutes.

"what about you, [name]-san? why don't you tell us something about yourself?" chifuyu asked, glancing at you.

"oh, that reminds me. you mentioned earlier that you had a mentor. who is he?" baji added, recalling what you had just told him and chifuyu earlier.

you answered, tipping your head at the side. "my mentor is not a he, misaki-san is a she."

"eh?! your mentor was a girl?" takemichi's eyes widened at your answer.

chifuyu bombarded you next, "your mentor rode motorcycles with you and taught you how to fight? she must be a really cool person then, [name]-san!"

you couldn't help but smile and laugh at their reactions. even baji was giving you a priceless one. "she really is. she was like an older sister to me. i never call her misaki-nee though, probably because i'm too shy to."

"what is she like then?" baji correct himself. he was just as intrigued as chifuyu and takemichi.

"well, misaki-san is kind of a worry wart. she worries about me a lot, but she's really nice as long as you don't get on her bad side. that woman knows how to pack a punch, she hits way worse than a semi-truck. i got my ass handed to me once by her." you continued, "anyways, she used to pick me up from school, pack me lunches and she nags at me for picking fights."

you were thrown across the floor and your knees bruised from the harsh fall. laughter filled the atmosphere with a heavy tension. you were beaten all over, your limbs were trembling and your heart was pounding against your ribcage.

it was four years ago from now.

you weren't as experienced as you were in the present. you barely knew how to aim and land a punch at someone's face or let alone have the reflexes to dodge someone's hit. you watched with tearful eyes as these men surrounded you like vultures to a prey. your breathing hitched as it became rapid. memories of your life began to flash before your eyes when they inched closer to you.

this was the end, or so you thought.

before they could even touch your hair, the sound of bones breaking reached your ears. you looked up and gasped at the sight of a silhouette skillfully knocking the man closer to you with a fist to his jaw before he got flipped over. you proceeded to watch the person take them all down one by one in awe. they had sharp precisions and powerful blows of fists and kicks. they were very seasoned in the art of fighting unlike you.

you horribly flinched when the person reached out a hand to you. you were still a bit shaken from the situation you got yourself in.

"hey, are you okay?"

your tensed shoulders relaxed when you realized it was a woman's voice. you immediately picked your legs up, stumbling only to fall directly into her arms as you broke down into a sob. her warmth filled your senses and washed away the uneasiness. you practically could crumble in her embrace. it's been so long since you've gotten comfort like this.

"that was very brave of you to stand up against them. it's going to be alright, you're okay now." misaki had the voice of an angel. it was almost motherly and it perfectly constrasted her brutality as a seasoned fighter.

little did you know that your fateful encounter with your mentor that night would lead you to something far greater than you could ever imagine.

misaki became your light in darkness. growing up, you never had a consistent parental figure in your life. you had to accomplish things on your own, but that was until she fulfilled that role for you. not only did she taught you martial arts and self-defense, she looked after you too.

it was like seeings colors for the first time in a monochrome world. with her guidance and support, your gradually learned how to be a strong, independent woman who cowers to no man and eventually you decided to follow her footsteps.

"you must have really gotten into a lot of fights, even back when you were younger." takemichi commented, scratching his chin.

"you weren't wrong, i may or may not have gone through a phase to go with that." you shook your head, thinking of how you went to school with misaki's smudged out eyeliner and mascara—it made you cringe. "it's a good thing she taught me a lot."

"where is misaki-san now?" chifuyu blinked.

you shrugged your shoulders, cracking a smile. "misaki has been long gone."

chifuyu immediately waved his hands in the air and frowned, "oh, i'm so sorry. i shouldn't have asked, [name]-san."

"it's alright, you didn't know." a smile graced your lips as a sigh escaped your breath. "she's in a better place now."

before the tension in the atmosphere could get any heavier, mitsuya finally finished your uniform along with takemichi's.

"sorry for taking a while and for your lost, [name]-san." mitsuya dipped his head in a small bow before handing you and takemichi a black jacket and a pair of pants that were embroidered with gold, and a pair of white shoes.

"it's alright." you gave him a curt nod before taking the jacket to raise in the air.

"you and takemichi should try it on." baji claimed, flashing you a grin.

you slipped off your oversized jacket before throwing the toman jacket on instead. the warmth and comfort brought by the jacket was a reminiscent of your past. it reminded you of the memorable memories you had at your previous schools, yet somehow you couldn't bring yourself to fully-smile. instead, reminiscing the past made you frown. it's been a long while since you've worn a similar jacket like this. you used to wear one with the same jet black color, except it was embroidered with violet and red colors along with a deadly nightshade pattern.

"[name]-san?"

you hummed, looking up to see baji, chifuyu, mitsuya and takemichi staring at you in concern. "hmm?"

mitsuya inquired, "is the jacket too tight?"

"huh? oh." you blinked, shaking your head. a smile replaced your frown at an instant. "it fits perfectly, i like the oversized fit a lot. i'll try the pants and shoes later."

"are you sure you're alright?" baji pressed, raising a brow at you. he didn't buy the smile you plastered on when he and others could have sworn they saw the sad look on your face.

you shook your head once again and this time, more persistently. "i'm fine."

it was already evening by the time mitsuya had finished your uniform along with takemichi's. you placed it inside your school bag along with your jacket since it was pretty humid outside. mitsuya hurried home, telling you that he had two younger sisters to cook and take care of. you were left behind with takemichi, baji and chifuyu after you said your goodbyes and thanks to him.

"who knew mitsuya was a sweetheart?" you muttered to yourself, smiling at the thought of him worrying over his siblings.

maybe it would have been nice to have a younger sibling to care for. to have a little one running around your apartment, looking for you and being your partner in crime when it comes to your antics? it sounded like a good dream.

why did you have to an only child? you thought to yourself.

"oi, firecracker. you're spacing out again." you shook your head, turning your head to baji who had his arms folded across his chest.

you blinked, "oh, sorry. what?"

"i said i'm taking you home. chifuyu's going to take takemichi home." baji repeated what he had just told you seconds ago.

"oh, there's no need. i've got places to be." you waved a hand dismissively with a smile. "i do appreciate the offer though."

"huh, where are off to [name]-san? it's getting late." chifuyu quipped.

"somewhere important." with that, you immediately dismissed yourself from the three boys and took your leave.

"[name]-san is so unpredictable at times." takemichi pointed out as soon as your figure disappeared off into the distance.

"she was already unpredictable the moment she joined toman. at first she had no interest, then suddenly she comes in to challenge mikey only to withdraw." baji added, shaking his head.

"but misaki, [name]'s mentor, sounds familiar." baji tapped his fingers onto his chin in a thinking manner.

chifuyu looked at him with wide eyes. "you think so too, baji-san?"

"yeah, i feel i've heard her name somewhere from before." baji furrowed his brows. "unless i'm thinking about it too much."

taglist: @kamikoii @sakumoly @valyblossms @cxtwomans @sundaemochi @justfandomlover @coco-goat-milk @almondtofuu @thelovehashira143 @shimifu @classnapper @idunnomynamesince2005 @chessquinn @kikis-writing-service @kietsusae @royal-shinigami @anniejourn @ilysmbaji

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cosmictulips · 2 years

Text

So Let's Talk about Etsy & Why I owe a few of you an apology. Part 1.

So let's go back to July.

Nah, let's go back to April.

when I opened the store.

I haven't really been in a good place physically since about October of last year. I have been homeless essentially. and the living situation hasn't really gotten better. I mean it has. but it's temporary and doesn't address the long term situation. if that makes sense.

Anyway, I made the store literally as an april fools joke to myself. because nothing had been going right. I ... had to cut off a close friend of mine. and like, we're not even friends anymore. we're not. I burned that bridge.

I had to cut off a lot of family members. the guy I thought I loved was just using me to cheat on his wife. and so I had to deal with all of that. and all of this was going on in a hotel room. trying to figure out where the best homeless shelter is.

and the funny the about this is... the night before? I was in an entirely different state. for those of you outside of the US I went half way across the country essentially. overnight.

I thought if I had to be homeless, i'd at least like to be in the state where my friends are. in case I needed anything. Now, don't get me wrong, my friends helped the best that they could. none of us are in a great situation. anyway.

anyway.

I created the store as a joke because I didn't expect or even think it would take off. and for the first... couple of weeks it didn't. and honestly, I was grateful for that because I didn't have a lot of my decks like I do now.

so I went to stay with my friend for a week, still looking for a shelter to take me in. in case you didn't know, homelessness is... hard LOL.

anyway, during that time the store started to take off for a bit. and by the time my birthday came around, I was back in with my sister. shit hit the fan with her for a little bit but it died down for the most part.

Like, I ... was literally crying to my friend one night because within a week I was told to leave on three separate occasions because my privacy was ruined, or because I did something wrong, or this that and the other thing.

and as I'm typing it out, I'm realizing that I'm still not over that.

and then the store took off! by July, I had over 2000 -- let me repeat that, TWO THOUSAND orders.

I was working literally non-stop. which is why y'all though I died. I had no life outside of the bedroom I am working in. I barely slept. I was and still am watching, a baby. from 6 am - 6 pm I was with this infant. and then from 6pm - 1 or 2 am I would be working on orders. and then I couldn't even sleep because 3-4 am would roll around and I'd have to get up for the baby.

so I never slept.

and, I like to make things perfect. so I started cutting corners on etsy. so I'm losing my sanity and putting out work that I hated. a lot of it was copy and paste (like all the disclaimers, messages, etc) but I always tried to make things as best as I can.

and if you've ordered from me, you know my readings are lengthy as FUCK. the smallest reading I think I've ever given out was 5 pages. the longest was about 40.

Right. so cutting corners???? was a big deal to me. but people weren't happy at how slow I was becoming. but y'all, I was running on fumes.

so then the messages started. I started getting reported to etsy because I wasn't responding fast enough to messages. some woman in India thought she could talk my ear off after sending me HUNDREDS of messages that were literally abuse and ETSY DID NOTHING.

some people would leave me 1 star reviews because it's been 2 weeks and blah blah blah. I never had the fucking time to edit my listings to make sure that shipping times were accurate. I never got the CHANCE.

by the end of July, I broke down. I... thought I could reach out to the suicide hotline. so I did.

anddddd that really lit a gas can to a burning INFERNO.

august, september roll around and I can't even get out of bed. let alone face etsy. so Etsy takes control. and I can't message anyone. can't complete orders, can't send nothing out. can't even refund people.

the amount of abuse and shit I had to take from not only Etsy, but what was going on in the outside as well.

I have a hard time even finishing the etsy orders from those of you who have followed me because it makes me panic. I only have like 2 of you left, and I can't thank y'all enough for your patience. and I hope to do right by you with my next little store.

and that's what it's going to be. little.

by the end of it, I had friends of mine wanting to help me out. and it was too late. I wasn't making nearly enough to pay for help until all hell broke loose. and to this day I swear people just... thought they could get away with shit because of how cheap I set everything

because i firmly believe everyone should have access to a GOOD tarot reading.

and no amount of shitty customers can change that. And trust me, for every ONE good customer there were about THIRTY bad ones. so I was tested.

and I failed miserably.

and I'm sorry. but I want to make things right. and I want to try again.

#etsy #tarot #updates

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drawlfoy · 3 years

Note

okay so i apologize beforehand for how long this is going to be but here we go,

uhhh hi! it's you favorite anon! do you remember me? it's been a while.

how are you? i genuinely hope you're doing well and settling into uni comfortably, i really missed talking to you.

i think you're on hiatus right now and might not be checking your inbox, but when you do, i hope this message find you.

so... as you know detention retention is literally one of my favorite fics if not my #1 favorite. if you also remember. i had only read the first two parts and didn't read the 3rd part (the first part of the finale) because i was waiting for it to be fully posted. but sadly by the time it was posted (august 25th i think?) uni was already around the corner and i had to clean my depression room since i have put it off all summer, and by the time i finished cleaning august 28th (yes, it took me 3 days to clean my depression room, no you're not allowed to judge me) i went back to uni literally the next day. and as a college student yourself, you know how it literally swallow every hour of every single day, and i got busy and didn't have time to read it. and even tho i have a quiz AND a midterm this week (and i haven't studied for either yet) i decided it's finally time to read it (also, the ocotber blues were starting to get to me & i needed some kind of serotonin so i don't fall in this month's hole again, gosh i hate october.) sorry about the rant anyway,

i finally started reading the first part of the finale and here are some comments/ notes i wrote while reading that i thought i should share! (btw i read the whole thing from the beginning to the end, but i am only sharing notes about the 1st & 2nd part of the finale since i already shared my thoughts with you about the first two chapters) enjoy!

-the "you’re just kinda not having a great time during this chapter" in the author's note made me giggle loudly, also dark harry??? sign me

tf up (i should note that i am saying this pre-reading)

-"she was at least not going to fail Draco...not when the rest of the world had betrayed him"

s t o p🥺 i always think about that if headcanon 6th year draco malfoy had someone, anyone who cared about him this much and showed it? so many things would've changed. my baby had to go through all of that alone and it breaks my heart.

-never mind harry can fuck himself lmao

-WHAT THE FUCK HARRY??? WHY IS HE ATTACKING US

-"He’d cast a protection spell on her. In the middle of a duel that she was hardly formally a part of, he cast a protection spell on her" it might be because i am mentally ill, but i am NOT okay

-"Her cry of pain prompted Draco to immediately turn his attention from Harry, angling his body towards her instead, an indistinguishable expression etched into his face as he took in the bloodstained white sleeve of her arm." MISS GIRL GO SLOW ON MY FEELINGS I CANT TAKE ALL OF THIS AT ONCE?!?!??1?1?1

-"SECTUMSEMPRA!" OH FUCK YOU POTTER

-"A lump began growing in her throat again as she realized just how lonely she was." haha way too realitable bestie...

-aw! i love the little back story of how we became friends with ron!!!

-STOP YOU ACTUALLY LISTENED TO MY SUGGESTION AND MADE IT WORK FOR LUNA TO BE PART OF THE FANFIC??? THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY THANK YOU!!! <3

-"No wonder they call her Loony Lovegood." oh hell nah, that is some shit that hermione might say, never us tho. i would NEVER disrespect my girl luna like that

-"I was actually coming here to have a chat with him about you,” said Luna. “I think it’s terribly unfair how your friends are treating you. I thought that Marvin might know what to do. He always seems to." 🥺 uhh you did luna so good & fair in this story! that's definitely something luna lovegood would say

-"My mother had this saying about kindness,” said Luna softly. “She told me that it’s easy to be kind to people you already love. But you can really tell how caring someone is by how they treat those who are different." wow.

-UHH BESTIE THE LUNA PART WAS AMAZING THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO MY SUGGESTION AND ADDING HER I ENJOYED EVERY PART OF OUR INTERACTION WITH HER!!!

-the whole broom closet scene? CHEFS KISS

-"would choose you over anyone else here and that’s scary and ohmygodIcan’tstop--" THE SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT PLEASE

-"using his free hand so he could thumb away the tears that were collecting on her cheeks." MISS GURL

-"Purity" LMAO

-"You have really nice hands" kms

-"Her words stopped abruptly as Draco silenced her--not with his hand, but by placing his lips on hers" OH MY GOD I THINK I FORGOT HOW TO BREATH HELP KAKASKAKSJSKAJSJ

-everything about the veritaserum scene. wow just wow. that scene own my ass.

-"No." CAN I PLEASE HAVE ONE GOOD THING IN MY LIFE?? i am begging

-the part where draco was sending her mixed signals? it hit me close to home bestie😁 i have been, there done that lmao

-THE ENDING OF THE FIRST PART OF THE FINALE BROKE ME WHERE IS MY HAPPY

ENDING DEE???

-oh my god. the fact that you mentioned me at the end of the chapter is making my heart do things sksjaksjsk :( this made me sooo happy you don't even realize, to be mentioned by one of my favorite fanfic writers saying that i inspired them with things in MY COMFORT FANFIC? :( made my whole fucking month. scratch that, made my whole fucking year. this means a lot to me, and this is definitely my favorite chapter, thank you dee :(<3

-------------

-last chapter. god i am so not ready to say goodbye.

-i love ron :(

-lmao it was hermione that i couldn't stand in this fic but now harry is seriously getting on my nerves

-why are we apologising to HER? like okay i get it we have feelings for her childhood bully but it's like we can't control how we feel??? meanwhile she's been a terrible friend to us and that's definitely something she CHOSE to do

-"Now that she knew he only saw her as a friend, it only hurt so much more when he would chivalrously offer to walk her back to the library at night or say polite hellos to her in the halls." BESTIE THIS FANFIC IS STARTING TO FEEL TOO MUCH LIKE MY REAL LIFE HAHAHA I AM NOT OKAY

-"There was this moment before either of you noticed I was there and it just made me sick to my stomach to watch. Merlin, the way he…" Harry trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut. "The way he looked at you. It just boiled my blood." a love triangle with jealous harry and draco??? sign me tf uppp

-"I didn’t know where else to go." SLAPS EVERYTIME

-"I’m not about to confess to you again literally right after being rejected," she snipped back, pulling her hands from his grip in a moment of unexpected humiliation. "I’m not that stupid." this feels like a personal attack lmao

-"I’m kidnapping your mom." LMAOOO???

-not him getting upset that she didn't get that he likes her too like buddy???🤨you rejected her what were you expecting, of course she is going to brush all of these things off because she doesn't want to look pathetic SO MAN UP AND TELL HER TO HER FACE

-his family ring. IM NOT OKAY

-i really love our friendship with ron aw

-"She didn’t know it then, but she wouldn’t be returning. At least not for a long time." why does my heart hurt lol

-She didn’t even get to finish her sentence before he crossed through the door, swept her up, and kissed her with conviction. i am soft.

-"I was wondering when you’d show up," he whispered when he pulled away.🥺

-She shrugged. “Nothing. Just kiss me again.”

"And so he did." i can't believe it's actually over :(

-------------

i genuinely feel speechless. finishing this feels so bittersweet. this fanfic will always have a special place in my heart. the characters, the situations, the feels and even you. it all feels so real and it touched me so deeply. thank you dee for writing something so good that i can use to escape from this world when things get hard.

from the bottom of my heart, thank you <3

sending love & hugs as always x

-🌟

hi there :) first of all, i’m so sorry for how long i took to respond to this! i took a long break from my blog bc school has genuinely been kicking my ass (never take graph theory if you don’t have to 😶). it sounds like you too understand this v well sndksjd. and of course i would literally never judge you for having to clean your room that is v v relatable 😭 i was reading this while i was walking around campus and literally smiling like an idiot the whole time. thank you for making my entire month—i really do appreciate the ideas you gave me for the last two parts :)

how is uni doing ???? is it getting a little better? i would love to hear from you even tho i know it took me a long time to respond (i’m going to be back on this account more!!)

#🌟 anon #dee overshares

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samtheflamingomain · 3 years

Text

25.21%

I've been sober for 3 months today. 92 days. 25.21% of 2021.

I could've posted more updates, more milestones (it took a LOT not to post on Day 69) but I wanted to kind of save it up for a Big Day. It was also a decent way to continue to incentivize my continued sobriety: a full pass to do a shameless, hardcore bragging sesh.

Anyway, this post comes in 2 parts: the TL;DR for those who only want the gist, then more in depth on my ability to stay sober, the lasting effects of rehab, etc.

I tried my damnedest to pare this absolute novel down, but it's long, so feel free to dip out if you just get bored. Onward!

TL;DR: I went to rehab the beginning of July for 3 weeks and haven't had a drop of alcohol since. I've lost weight, I'm more healthy, my daily anxiety level went from 8 to 2, I haven't had an anxiety attack in 3 months, and everything generally just seems... easier. My memory and concentration have improved. I've been productive and I've been meditating every day. I'm saving money, and while I sometimes fantasize about getting drunk, that's usually all it is.

Honestly, it's been much easier than I expected, but I think a lot of that is because for the first 3 weeks, the time in which I would usually break down and start drinking again when trying to get sober myself, was spent behind a locked door. So far I haven't had any days where I was close to giving in. I haven't had many days where I've been depressed about it, missing it or really tempted. Maybe 3-4. I've basically just gotten on with my life as if alcohol doesn't exist.

To wrap up the short version for those ready to peace out, I'll leave it with a bit of advice.

I don't feel qualified to give any specific advice, because my story feels very unique to me, and I honestly don't think what worked for me will work for MOST people. Sometimes people spend a year in rehab and still drive straight to the liquor store on their way home.

That said, there's one thing that I've found pretty universally true: you have to really want it. For a while, I floated about without much of a "reason" to stay sober. I don't have a spouse, kids or a job I've been fired from, so I didn't see the point.

It's taken me a while, but after not being "convinced" by a few superficial "reasons" like weight loss and saving money, I thought I needed something more... permanent? Consequential? I now realize that my "reason" for getting sober at a young age after only a few years of alcoholism is that I don't want it to get to a point where I'm hurting other people, drinking myself into multiple lasting health problems... I don't want it to become permanent or consequential.

Anyway, that's my two cents. If you do have something like kids or trouble keeping a job, definitely use that as your reason. But for anyone who's a pretty "functional" alcoholic like I was, "not letting it go on long enough to become disfunctional" is a good enough reason.

This is going to get stupid long, so feel free to walk away now, just glad you read this much and it really does mean the world when people listen to what I have to say.

Now some more things in depth. I'll go in chronological order: what made me get sober, what I took from rehab (and what I left), and how it's been the past few months.

I started drinking when I got kicked out, manic out of my mind and homeless unable to sleep. It took a while until I was able to sleep without alcohol, but by then the addict brain had taken over. I'd tried a few times to get sober myself, but I never made it more than a week without, and always got back to daily drinking after a few months maximum.

Some people need a "wake up call", a "last straw" or a "rock bottom". Something external to make them realize they can't go on as they are. For me, the catalyst was my health, which is more of an internal reason I suppose. I didn't have a heart attack or liver failure, but my anxiety was getting uncontrollable and I knew it was directly tied to my drinking.

My life had been starting to feel tolerable, and I was more financially secure than ever before. Things were looking up... except for the alcoholism. This is a weird analogy but the only one that makes sense to express why, if I was doing so well on paper, I decided to go to rehab: you have to sweep before you mop. If I hadn't been in the place I was, I don't think I would've been successful at rehab. I had to sweep up the cat turds from the floor of my life before I was able to mop up the shit stains with sobriety. I know, I'm a true wordsmith.

When I finally called the hotline that hooked me up with a bunch of different rehabs, I knew I was in for a wait. It was about 5 months from that call to checking in, which isn't too bad considering I've been on the waitlist for a neuropsychiatrist in ALL OF CANADA for 4 years.

That brings us to July 12th, Rehab Day One. I've gone in depth in multiple other posts but to touch on it briefly, if I had to describe my experience in a sentence I'd say "the place I went to got very lucky with me".

What this means is that, of the 5 people in my group, I think this exact program was only ever going to help me. At the same time, I didn't even know what I would need, but this exact program was 90% of it. I didn't think 3 weeks would be long enough, but for me it was. The hours-long, repetitive, basic-ass CBT groups held 5 times a day 7 days a week was absolute torture for everyone but myself. While it was a drag to spend an hour on defining what a cognitive distortion is, the routine and repetition, something I've never gotten out of any outpatient program, helped me to really absorb the information and let it rewire my brain.

I've always said that I'm someone who should be spending an hour a day with a therapist for the rest of my life, and while that's not even remotely feasible, this was as close as it's ever gotten, and it proved me right, because it worked. I've done biweekly therapy for a short time but even that didn't come close to the way my brain changed in those 3 short weeks.

This program required absolute commitment and open-mindedness. This isn't because it was hard work or difficult concepts, but quite the opposite. While I hate the entire concept of art therapy being used as a cure-all for mental illness, I willingly got out of my bed, went downstairs and tried doing a dot mandala for an hour because I'm willing to try anything to get better. A lot of people might think they are, but really aren't. To use the mandala as an example, one guy was really into it, I wasn't, but we both finished. The other 3 tried, messed up a few times, and then scrolled through their phones. When I say this program necessitates complete engagement, that's not a compliment. It shouldn't be a chore to engage with the program. It shouldn't take me actively saying "I know I've known this basic concept since 4th grade, but maybe hearing it again will help" to get something out of a rehab program. So again, in every way, I got lucky, and so did they.

Before I finish with the rehab section, having had a few months to reflect on the whole thing, I now have an endless list of things wrong with it. I arrived, greeted by the most jaded and disillusioned of staff, and quickly became disturbed and at points concerned with just how negligent the staff are.

Maybe it's because I've been on the psych ward where they won't even let you have shoelaces and shine a flashlight on your face every half hour through the night, but it could've been so incredibly easy to sneak in alcohol. I brought 2 full water bottles, fully expecting to have to dump them out upon arrival, but they said "nah it's fine". Is it though?

Then there were actual counsellors there who were... okay. I recall one, the one I thought was the smartest, reading a handout aloud and coming across the word "delve" as in "let's delve into..." and stumbled, then said she doesn't know that word. The room was silent. As she pulled up Google on the screen I said, "it means to dive into it". She Googled it anyway. Synonyms include "dive in". If that was the only example I wouldn't mention it, but this was the first of at least 10 words she had do Google, none past a 10th grade level, from HER OWN MATERIAL. From that point on it became clear that they had no fucking idea what they were doing.

We had one last one-on-one counselling session before we left and the counsellor just filled in boxes to questions on her computer, rephrasing everything I said to fit into the buzzwords and "lessons" we'd "learned". Example. Me: I do think I'm better able to catch myself thinking 'oh I can just have one drink' and say 'no I can't'." Her: "Okay, so would you say that you can recognize negative cognitive distortions like permission-giving thoughts and counter them with a more rational and less emotional mind?" Like girl, blink twice if your boss is holding your family hostage. She gave me some papers, detailing all the online courses they were signing me up for and options for more treatment they'd be sending me, a phone number to call and a phone appointment for the next Monday. I never got that call, the phone number is a hotline, I never got a single email from them, and given how shitty they really are at their jobs, I didn't feel the inclination to try and get those resources. If they even exist in the first place.

In summation, it was a place where it was physically impossible to get alcohol. That's really all I can say in its favor. Oh, and they let you have your cell phone.

Now on our timeline I'm back home. I want to kind of analyze why it's been easy for me.

I often said that my main goal of going to rehab was to lock me away from alcohol long enough for it to reset my brain. Most people thought that was naïve, but that's exactly what happened. But I'm well aware that my experience of "instantly became sober and literally hasn't had a single hard day in 3 months" is absurdly unusual.

I put this down to a few things. Firstly, I'm on seven different meds for my mental health. Almost all of them have their effects dulled or even eliminated when you drink. So when I noticed my mood, fatigue, memory, concentration etc all getting better at once - right about as I left rehab, I don't think it would be a stretch to say that all those meds started working properly.

Secondly, I've been keeping myself busy, but that's something I've always been good at. Now I specifically choose to undertake projects that will eat up a lot my time and put me in a state of flow. I recently made an entire card game from scratch, and let me tell you, I didn't think of alcohol for a week.

Thirdly, my other goals now get in the way of alcohol. I'm getting old and my body is deteriorating. But I've always wanted to do just one last season of gymnastics. Well, I need to lose weight for that to happen. I've already lost 35 pounds, and after another 20 I'll be ready to go. Also, I used to spend more on alcohol per month than rent. Even though I've done a few shopping sprees lately, I haven't come remotely close to how much I was spending before.

I want it more than anything. I want to be sober more than I want one night of "fun" that will more likely than not lead me back to where I was a year ago. I never want to need anything as much as I needed alcohol.

Lastly, just a few more random thoughts.

A lot of people, myself included, worried about the fact that I work at a bar as a cook, but honestly the entire time I'm there I'm thinking about food, not alcohol. If I'm hanging out with some regulars before/after, I can watch them drink and be perfectly fine with my coffee, because the coffee is $2, and I used to spend $20 after every work shift.

I also decided in rehab to start taking better care of myself as best I could. This started with getting my second vax which I'd been putting off, then an eye appointment, then new glasses, then a dentist appointment where I was informed I need to do $3000 worth of work on my implant that's erroding my bone matter, so that sucks, but I caught it early. I've also been meditating every day. In just 3 months, I've made pretty big improvements to my self-care and my daily routine.

One of my fears about sobriety was "missing out" on "having fun". A few days ago, all my housemates got together to play Mario Party, and it was kind of my first night doing something social while sober. It was a breath of fresh air - I wasn't constantly running to piss, I didn't worry about running out of alcohol, I didn't get sloppy and obnoxious as I can sometimes do. I even came very very close to winning my first game of MP. When I reflected on the night, I realized that, if I'd been getting drunk the whole time, I would've sucked at the minigames, been a hindrance to anyone unfortunate enough to be teamed with me, and likely would've stopped caring about the game itself after the first few turns.

Yesterday I was making my 4th pot of coffee of the day when I realized there was a full glass of wine just sitting on the counter. I had absolutely no idea where the hell it came from - nobody in my house drinks wine. I shrugged and poured that sweet sweet bean juice. It was only when I sat down and took a sip of coffee did I find myself thinking automatically, "this tastes so much better than wine". I only realized then that it had been rose wine, the only kind I've ever been able to tolerate. It was the ultimate moment of possible temptation, and the thought of just chugging that glass - as I may've done in the past - didn't even cross my mind.

I'm so glad to be where I am. I'm about to undergo some serious financial changes - i.e. going absolutely broke - but drinking isn't gonna help that, so I'm cautiously optimistic.

Stay Greater, Flamingos.

#rehab #alcoholism #alcohol tw #sam #recovery #sobriety

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purekesseltrash · 3 years

Note

This is my final ask talking about BTD so it has to be perfect, I literally created a google doc so I wouldnt fuck it up before I sent it

Shoji replaying a song over and over while doing a task reminded me of when I listened to “Ophelia” by The Lumineers on repeat while drinking coffee on my kitchen counter and lemme tell ya, I’ve been chasing that high ever since

Yeah knowing you'd have *some* family but not all of them after coming out sucks major ass but its the truth, I'm ever so grateful that the only person who would react negatively that I know would be my maternal Grandmother whos a narcissistic bitch who I haven't spoken to in years so like, i dont give a shit what she thinks but I know that it would be hard on Shoji seeing how family oriented he is in this story and him knowing his relationships with his siblings and parents would be rocky makes my heart break for him

OOOOO BITCHHHHHH HES TEXTING HIMMMMMMM

That went over a lot smoother than I thought it would, I mean i'm incredibly happy that they’re like, getting together, but I honestly expected it to be more drawn out

Awww Tokoyami getting their as fast as he could and Shoji being soft for domestic Tokoyami

Sweet jesus I can relate to Shoji just randomly thanking his friend for being his friend, the amount of times I’ve wanted to just ominously text my friends a “thank you for everything” is too many to count

I LOVE GRITTY, HE REMINDS ME OF MY CAT WHOS A MAINE COON (his names Chewie if you're interested)

I knew Mic would suck at cooking, its just so him

I practically squealed at Shoji changing Tokoyami’s contact name to Fumikage

Okay, little background story, I keep a list in my notes app of headcanons for Tokoyami and literally one of them on there says word for word “Dogs absolutely love him and he loves them right back” so im SO GLAD you made him a dog person, making him a cat person seems like the easy route

LAWYER MOM IS INTRODUCED i honestly didn't picture her as a blonde but now I see it

Tokoyami’s mom being incredibly enthusiastic reminds me a lot of my mom, she always get excited when people have pride flags hanging up and suggested we get a pride flag so that made me appreciate my mama more than I already have been

I swear to god my eyes got as big as saucers hearing the part about cheesecake because I'm from New Hartford and forgot Hartford was a different city.

I can just picture Aizawa SLAMMING the brakes and whipping his head around, hair flying, as he looks at Shoji

“And he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding” how much more cliche could you get, not gonna lie that made me laugh

All right I have to confess something. I've skipped every transcript of Put Your Sticks Up because I was impatient and wanted to get to the story. Now you know my biggest secret, I always felt bad but would get frustrated cause I wanted to hear ‘bout my boys.

The last precious worm ask! I am finally on my laptop so I can give this the proper attention.

Ngl, when my head isn't working, I will just put on one song and play it over and over and over and over and over until something comes into my head. My ShinOji fic 'Gold Rush' came from that. Still not sure how I managed to make a somewhat decent fic out of a song about gentrification but my mind is a wild and wonderful place.

Yeah, Shouji goes through it with his family. One thing that I can say though is that as Shouji starts to get more and more successful with his art, Tokoyami starts to spitefully send articles and reviews written on his work to his parent's house. He never gets a response but doesn't expect to, he just feels like they should see how amazing their son is, goddamnit. The one day, a letter comes back. Tokoyami opens it, expecting it to be them telling him to knock it off and instead, one of the pictures has been sent back with 'This is beautiful' written in pen, an arrow pointing to one of his vases. Tokoyami then has to show it to Shouji and explain what he did. Shouji cries basically all night. That starts a very, very tenuous back and forth with his mom.

Gonna put the rest of this under a break because it's gonna be long

You should have seen my first outline if you thought this was quick with them figuring it out. Basically, the only reason that Tokoyami broke it off in the first place was because he didn't see that there was a chance of it working. They worked so well otherwise. Amazing chemistry, complimentary senses of humor, Tokoyami didn't want to break it off at all. He just felt like he had to because otherwise they were both going to get more hurt. So when Shouji was like 'okay, but actually I do want to try this', he was all in.

Ojiro is legit Shouji's first real friend. Which is really really sad given that they met when they were eighteen but Shouji never really got a chance to do anything normal.

Maine Coons rule and Chewie is an excellent name for them. I was going to name their cat after Marie Phillipe Poulin, the greatest women's hockey player ever, but I decided that Gritty would be funnier. Mic as a bad cook is deeply satisfying, I picture him being like me, just all 'okay but I just do enough to make something to survive on and uh.... who needs all the details and stuff'.

The name change actually came from my beta. They asked why his contact was still Western Civ Tutor in the beginning of the chapter and I was like 'oooo, great way to show how they have changed'.

And maaaaaaaaaan. I'm sorry but how is someone who is a bird gonna like a cat. Nah. Tokoyami is a dog person. They do go on to get a dog. They were going to get a Shiba Inu or something catlike until Kenta came through with a hound puppy that he'd found in the rain while on his route and just dumps it in Shouji's lap like 'Surprise!'. They name it Lu after Roberto Luongo, famed goalie. The dog is a goddamned menace and Shouji ends up having to take it to classes and learn about dog training so they can all keep their sanity. He ends up loving Lu the most. (I do some part time dog training so I had to throw that in)

Tokoyami dyes his hair. He's actually a mousy blond under the dye like his mama. And yeah, my parents are hella supportive too. I figured it would be healthy for one of them to have accepting parents.

Aizawa was pretty pissed, ngl. For all that he should know better, he got caught up in the same shit that coaches tend to slip into, which is a responsibility because they have someone with potential that they must mold and then when they go on to do amazing things, they can feel a part of it. But then he realizes where he fucked up and how he was so busy seeing Shouji the hockey player that he couldn't see Shouji the person.

Listen, it's my fanfic, so I'm gonna get as cheesy as I damn well please. I'd written a super cheesy ending for the end of 'Black Sun' and was waffling on keeping it until somebody was like 'it's a fic, be as cheesy as you want'. I can has my cheese, as a treat.

WHAT IN THE FUCK WORM. HOW CONFUSED HAVE YOU BEEN THIS ENTIRE TIME?!?!?! this legit made me laugh out loud when I read it. GO BACK AND READ MIC'S SHOW!!! I set up so much stuff to try and prepare the reader to understand the emotional stakes, not to mention the basic facts of hockey! That being said, I get the feeling.

Thank you for this last super mega grande worm ask, sorry that it took me so long, I wanted to be able to give it my full attention. <3

#btd

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imagodwithnodess · 6 years

Text

Moving-Park Jisung

Genre: fluff

word count:1,600

Whhyyyyy!!???. You thought as you look at your dirty room. Today you have to pack to move out of your room. You currently live with your aunt as you wanted to go to an American boarding school In Korea, but your sister and her husband recently moved to Korea so you and she decided that It would be best for you to move In with her. As you all know each other better, and you missed each other dearly. You sit and look at your room and wonder how you are going to stay level-headed through this process. You call the only person you know that can help you through such a stressful sItuatIon.

(M=mark lee

Y=you)

Y: heeeeeey

M:.....what do you want

Y: I can't just text my best friend to check and see how he's doIng????? I'm Insulted!

M: 1. No...no you can't 2….well what do you need!

Y: ok so I need a strong man (or men) to help me with my room

M: your room? You're literally stronger then half the boys…..also that sounds more like you need help with organIzatIon...not strength.

Y: but maaaark

M: just…….text him already

Y: ok but no….we are playing a game. Whoever texts or calls fIrst loses….I ain't no loser.

M: call hIm...bye

Y: you're the worst

M: call your boyfriend!!!

Y: fIne!!!

You close your textIng app and go Into your call logs and begrudgIngly hIt the phone Icon.

“Heelloooo”

“Shut up”

“I knew you would call me today”

“Shut up,I know I didn't want to….but I realIzed I have too”

“ so babe what do you need?”

“I'm movIng today and I need help keeping a level head”

“Fear not my lady for I will help you”

“.........”

“.......”

“you are so lame omg haha”

“Ok but so are you so...ok I’ll be there In 10”

“Ok, love you bye”

“ yeah whatever I love you too bye”

You put away your phone and start a prIorIty lIst with what you need to deal with.

10 or 15 minutes later you hear a knock on your room door, “Come In!” you say towards the door. JIsung leans In “someone order a mental paperweIght??” he says making you laugh as you turn around and get off your seat and walk towards him “hello love,” you say as you kiss him. “ hI babe,” he says after you finished your kIss. “So! I have a list of things we need to do...so let's do them” “wow I have never seen you like this” he says as you walk away from the list and he picks It up to read It. “Like what?” you say as you start to pack up your bed set “ so effIcIent, so organized,” he says as he walks over to help you. “Well, I guess there has never been a need for It” you say as you shrug your shoulders “yeah I guess not,” he says slowing down on the last couple words.

You 2 work hard to get your room all packed up…..well 1 of you anyways. If you took a tImelapse of that day It would consist of:

You running around like a mother that's kids were down for a nap and she only had 30 minutes to clean the entire house

jIsung sIttIng and gettIng up every now and then

You guys dancing to music that we put on the speaker

Your aunt peakIng In the room sometImes

You guys pIllow fIghtIng, and clothes fIghtIng, and wrestlIng

And you guys face timing dIfferent people like your family, you guy’s friends, and of course the boys at the dorms

“Hey, babe you need help with that” jIsung asked you as he saw you about to pick up a chair/reclIner “nah I got It” you say with a smile that melts his heart. You pick the chaIr up with eas and take It to the living room. JIsung Is left dumbfounded In the room, as you come back Into the room he asks “ have you always been that strang?”, you laugh and nod your head yes “ yea, but I like seeing you be all gentlemen like and manly so I let you pick things up for me” you say as your working on packIng up your closet “huh” JIsung said as he got up to help.

2 hours had passed since the chaIr. “Im hungryyy” you said layIng on the bed” “well do you guys have any food?” jIsung says layIng on the bed next to you proppIng himself up on his elbow “nah aunt ray hasn't gone shopping this week” you say as you turn over “well….thats all my Ideas out the window” you chuckle at how easily he gives up “oh! Oh!” you say getting excIted searching for something “ what gIrl? what Is It!?” he says like your a dog trying to tell hIm someone Is stuck In a well. You find your phone and look at hIm” pizza!!!” you say as you dive on him from the floor. You both laugh and you lay there for about 10 minutes not realIzIng what you set out to do.

You remember the pizza call the pizza place. JIsung has never heard you talk to a place of business so he sits up and sees how you handle It. “Your staring at me” you say as the phone Is rIngIng “sshh order the pizza” he says wavIng his hand In a ‘shoo’ motIon. You were about to speak when someone answers the phone. All jIsung here's Is you talk In your professIonal voIce. “Hi can I get one large cheese pizza please” you say In a voice jIsung does not recognIze. After you get off the phone jIsung Is starIng lovIngly at you “what?” you say laughing through your words.

“You just...contInue to surprise me” he says smIlIng. You blush slightly even tho you can't really see It consIderIng your complexIon. You both ate as soon as the food got there. You then packed up the last of your stuff and sat down on jisungs lap In the one seat left In the room and leaned your head on his shoulder.

“Thank you for helping me today love” you say as you nestle yourself deeper In his arms “no problem baby,” he says then kisses you on the top of your head.

As he is about to leave he looks at you “ babe I want to tell you something” “yees??” then he walks back over to you and grabs your hands. He then says something that you will never forget “Y/f/n y/l/n I love you so much, I know we haven't been together very long but I feel like I learn something new about you that makes me fall more In love with you every day” he says then kisses your forehead and stares into your eyes. You were dumbfounded at how sweet and loving this state Is and how It came out of nowhere. “ I honestly don't know what to say other then I love you too babe, more then.. A Lot of things...maybe even more than pizza” you say the word pizza In the most dramatic way you can think of “whaaaaaat????” he says being as dramatic as you. You laugh and contInue to sIt there until he has to leave.

He gets In his car driving off and honkIng as a goodbye from the car. You wave from the doorstep then go back In the house when you can no longer see him. You run Into your almost empty room and laid there think about how lucky you are. As your sister calls “haay giirl” she says “so how was your day with boo??” “omg I can't even right now” as you start your story about how much you love your boyfriend.

Jisungs pov

I get to the dorms and am greeted by all of my bandmates in the living room. I guess since it's our day off they all decided to come to the dream dorm. “Hi hyungs,” i say taking my shoes off at the door. I hear alot of sounds and i assume it's because i was just at y/n’s “i'm sorry” i say being confused but still wanting to be polite. “Soo, how was the girlfriend?” Lucas says i start to blush just thinking about her “i know that face, come here and tell us all about it” teayong says. I sit on the couch and start to talk about her. Hyungs have only met jahrra about 5 times, shes really shy around newer people, so shes only just been coming out of her shell the last 2 times. So they know her just not nearly as much i do.

I didn't realize it but as i talk about her more and more they got more intrigued and slowly but surely they were all listening and looking at me “shes just, perfect, everyone has there flaws but hers pail in comparison to everything else about her.” i finish finally zoning back in “AAHHH! Our little maknea is in love!” yuta says “it sounds like you got it bad too” mark says “i guess i do” i say as they al start making fun of me (in the fun older brother way)

y/n pov

“dang sis you got It bad,” she says laughing at how her little sister fell In love “yeah….I guess I do”. you didn't realize how whipped you too were for each other till right now. LIttle do you know jIsung was realized the same thing at the dorms. You 2? Truly, t r u l y In love.

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neotelenta · 6 years

Conversation

3/6/18 (BONUS) OC Tables (Part 1)

1: Voirade The (Brilliant) Thief

2: Baxter Prague

3. "The Soul Designer"

4. "The Soul Designer's Assistant"

5. Storyteller

6. Walter Edgemond

7. Guy Gridley

8. The Servant of Sound

------------------------------

"Walter Edgemond finds themselves locked into a malfunctioning elevator with "The Soul Designer's Assistant". What happens?"

------------------------------

Walter: Shoot! The blasted thing's stuck! Ugh…

*Walter looks over at the Assistant to find that he's glowing in an impressive multitude of colors*

Walter: Well I gotta admit, Assistant, you sure know how to light up a dark room. You could easily pass for a popular idol here in Strength.

Assistant: Thanks. I'll try and take that as a compliment. Although I'd rather we focus on our current situation, if you don't mind.

Walter: Right, right. Always terse and to the point. Hey, help me out here. Maybe we can get this door open. And climb out, presuming we're near a floor.

Assistant: Sure. Here. Stand back for a second.

*The Assistant brings up what looks like a holographic 3D grid in front of him and overlays it with the crack in the door. The grid turns red in warning, but a moment later, a metallic blob appears in the grid and solidifies into a stake shape, with the pointed end facing directly in between the elevator doors. Moving forward ever so slightly, the stake gets jammed in between, and slowly opens them.*

Assistant: Now. I'll hold it here. Open it up the rest of the way.

Walter: Okay. Let me just….Hrrrrnnnngh!

*Walter, with his calloused hands and significant upper body strength, makes use of the opening and separates the two doors, revealing that they hadn't completely left the floor, and there's room for them to get out from the bottom. Assistant dematerializes the hologram, and the metal stake disappears with it.*

Walter: Hahah! There we go! Not bad teamwork, if I do say so! Classic stuff…

Assistant: Let's just get out of here. I don't like these small spaces.

*From outside the elevator, a voice calls out.*

Designer: Hey! Pixie! Are you alright?

Walter: Uh...You talkin' about your Assistant? Bwahahaha! Yes, he's fine! I'm fine, too, thank you!

Designer: Oh! Walter! Sorry, I didn't know you took the same elevator.

*Walter, in the meantime, crawls out from the bottom and drops down to the floor, with a little bit of help from Designer. Assistant soon follows.*

Assistant: Well that was different. Shall we proceed to the meeting?

------------------------------

"Storyteller goes to 'The Soul Designer's funeral."

------------------------------

Storyteller: ...I don't see any reason for this to happen. No. Let's go back a bit. There's no need for this. D=

*The scene fades to a paper-textured cream color, and you hear the sound of wind and fluttering pages.*

Storyteller: Cameron doesn't want to do this one, so neither do I.

------------------------------

"Guy Gridley has to fight Walter Edgemond."

------------------------------

Guy: I really don't see the point in this.

Walter: Haha! Maybe you don't, but you're looking like a mighty proud conniving villain if you ask me! What reality show are YOU from?

Guy: ...I'm no villain, Mr. Edgemond. I'm not trying to be, anyways. You must understand that I'm doing this for the good of EVERYONE.

Walter: Doing what? Convincing depressed and degraded people to commit SUICIDE? Have you lost your mind?!

Guy: I have lost a lot of things, Mr. Edgemond, but in fact, my mind is one of my most prized possessions. I pay a lot of attention to it. Try to think of things from my perspective. I know I do with yours.

Walter: What do YOU know?!

Guy: That all of this is pointless. The countless heroes and villains you deal with. The money. The fickle fame that comes with drawing the attention of millions of people for short periods of time. The fear-riddled culture this whole place reeks of. The only way you cope with all of it is by always showing that you're tough, and that if you pretend you're not afraid, maybe you won't be afraid at all. That if you play by the rules and don't cross any lines, you have nothing to be afraid of. But you KNOW that isn't true. Because the lines will get drawn closer...and closer...And closer...Until even people like you are thrown out like the trash. And you'll be picked clean. I know what it's like, Walter. Please.

Walter: Nnngh…...You just really like to put things in those tidy life boxes with your words, don't you? It's infuriating to hear stuff like that come from someone I barely even know beyond his misdeeds. What do you want from me, huh?

Guy: Your life. But not for me. For yourself.

Walter: Oh, come on, Gridley…

Guy: Yes. Here I am giving you a lecture on why you should die. What's the problem? I can make it look convincing. You won't have to take a SINGLE scrap of blame. No-one will know but me, and I make it a solemn point to never share personal details like this to the outside world if I can help it.

Walter: ……But...I have people to ca-

Guy: Do THEY care about you? They only like you because they see you as a resource. And they treat you as just some person. When was the last time one of your coddled protagonists ever asked you about how your day was going? They never do that, do they? Or what about all of the literal garbage you begrudgingly buy from them to stay in line with what the reality shows want? They say the profit you make is from the 'heroes' themselves, but the 'heroes' don't tell you any of the other stuff they do, do they?

Walter: ……

Guy: Walter, please don't do this to yourself. If you die, it will finally break the system. They'll realize what they've done and what they're missing. That you, and anyone like yourself shouldn't be pushed like this. You will be the great sacrifice that helps TRULY save this town. You won't be missed. You'll be revered. I will see to it that everyone knows about you.

Walter: …...Let me go. Please. I don't want to look at you.

Guy: I...Hm.

*Guy raises his gun at the back-turned Walter and fires*

Guy: May this world be blessed with your understanding.

------------------------------

"Voirade and The Servant of Sound go on a quest to save Baxter Prague."

------------------------------

*Voirade and TSoS are riding in the back seats of a monorail train.*

Voirade: ...It's been too long, see? I can't believe it's been years, already…

SoS: TTS_Yes.mp3

Voirade: ...I'll be damned if I haven't been wantin' to return Snatcher to you ever since that day. They was wantin' to destroy your music, see? I couldn't live by that. Kekeke...Nah, not me. I'm a thief, but I has me limits.

SoS: TTS_I'm_Glad_You_Kept_Him_Safe_For_Everyone.mp3

Voirade: Yeah, me too, see? We gotta find Baxter, though. Only he can put the two of you back together again. Then maybe we'll get to finally see what it was like when you were fully human. Kekeke!

SoS: …

[[[The other prompts will come later. This was all I could do for today. Thank you again for reading.]]]

#CharacterDevelopment #TheoreticalSituations #SomeOfThisIsCanonHowever

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