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swee7dream · 7 months

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nct dream as partners to an age regressor nct dream x f! reader

author's note: hihi! first time blogging, kinda nervous... i've had this idea in my little marble head for quite some time and now here i am posting it !

dni: if you sexualize age regression and/or have an 18+ blog.

genres & content warnings: fluff fluff fluff. no warnings !

이민형 | mark lee

ur gonna be the death of him. poor boy is stressed 25/8

he's doing his best but he still doesn't quite understand at times

a quality time lover ! sometimes he gets so immersed in his own thing he doesn't notice you switch tasks until it's too late,,,,

"oh no! oh dude... i'm so sorry man, c'mere. no, don't apologize. it's my fault. it's ok. you can cry all you want. let's just get a bandaid on that gnarly cut, okay?"

when he's sorry, he means it ! after the pb&j knife switcheroo incident, he made sure to set alarms to make your meals just in case you've regressed that day and can't (safely) make your own food

a very good listener ! he loves listening to u talk for hours and hours and hours and hours and

listens intently to the explanation of your shows, the names of your plushies, and the storylines currently on going as you play pretend

loves playing pretend. at first, he was a bit shy, breaking character and laughing into his hands when embarrassment got the best of him, but now bro is confident! u could place him in a broadway show and no one would think he's out of place

could be said he was actually the one who made the first move to play pretend.

"...whatcha doing?" "playing" "...what are you playing?" after being burned under your x-ray vision gaze for no less than 5 seconds, you hand him a plushie and 'insist' on him playing with you

not one for titles or nicknames. mark is mark, you are you!

punishments are the last of his worries. hopefully, you don't make it rise the ranks

황런쥔 | huang renjun

manners freak

"ah!" he always has to hold whatever you asked for out of your reach. "what do we say? it starts with a t and ends with a 'you'."

does all sorts of crafts with you

one time, he drew your favorite character and you loved it so much you made him put it on your wall then and there. he was undermining it and complaining that he didn't want to get up and do all the work that involves framing it but the smile and blush on his face told a different story

lets you put stickers on him! only the pretty ones that he's approved beforehand. and NOT on his hair. he's chinese, not korean. he doesn't need the military service buzzcut

like mark, not big on titles. they make him uncomfortable tbh. nicknames for you, however, he does quite like (tiny, munchkin, etc.).

happy to let you be independent while regressed under STRICT supervision

goes so far as to make little songs and jingles to you can sing along to as you perform certain tasks so you both know you're doing things safely and correctly even when out of his eyesight

ur complete coloring pages go right next to his pieces of art on the fridge. u are both artists !

lullabies are a must. the man is a singer for a living ! good night! z Z z ....

punishments usually consist of renjun nagging on for over an hour. you don't really tend to listen. it's mostly for him to let out his frustration before the big stepper comes for you.

"and NO ice cream this weekend!" "NO!"

이제노 | lee jeno

first one to actually not mind titles ! he can live without them but they scratch an itch in his brain like nothing else can

two words: cute aggression. leans in to kiss your cheek only to bite it. he bites your nose. he bites your EARS ?! someone lock this man up !

hugs you in a way that presses the cheeks of the two of you until you look like twins conjoined at the head

the cuddliest man ever like i've never seen a more teddy bear-coded individual?!?!?!

"gotta pee." "hold it." "i can't!" grumbling jeno noises

started going back to the gym after seeing how much he you like being carried

he doesn't really talk a lot when in cg mode, but you've known him long enough that you can read his body language just fine

might actually be in cg space more than you are regressed !

just anything that you do, big or little. it's so precious to him. he feels the urge to just protect you from everything!!!

no !!! u can't go outside !!! what if bugs bite u?!!! oh u brought bug spray? ok... send him a message of when u get on the bus! and when u get off the bus! and to ur friend's house! actually, just let him drive u ok? give him five minutes to change !

the worst at dishing out punishments out of all of dream. a pout, a teary eye, a sniffle, he's unraveling at the seams.

he sits on a chair by the bed, arms crossed with a stern look. you could shatter it with a bat of your lashes, but you know you need this.

"i'll be sitting here until you fall asleep. we could've played chutes and ladders tonight like you wanted if you hadn't thrown away your veggies, angel."

이동혁 | lee donghyuck

he is the baby. wdym you are ?

poor boy is used to being the youngest and acting cute, what is he supposed to do now that the tables are turned?

at the beginning, it's lots of awkward head pats and hugs of comfort.

sits you on his lap while he's gaming, playing with you and your toys in between matches

kind of insecure to be ur cg :( give the boy praise and appreciation!

"you," he sighs, looking away from you. "you should really be in bed by now. it's past your bedtime." "but you're not asleep." another sigh. "i know..."

when his confidence and comfortability is up tho? big big BIG on the baby talk and praise to the point you have to remind him you guys are in public!!! it started out as a joke (yk how he is, being annoying on purpose with his main weapon being aegyo). he doesn't think it's a joke anymore guys,,,,,,,,,,,,,

titles are goofy to haechan. he calls you the same he always does.

"what about me? did i do a good job today?" he asks, striking a ridiculous pose. "yeah ! you're the best, chan ! :D" "... :( thank u baby :,("

punishments don't exist actually! he's right there next to you. silly string all over the room? it was his idea to play spiders. veggies thrown away? impossible. he never bought them to begin with. didn't do your assignment? was it that important to begin with? hyuck doesn't think so

might be a regressor too ! on the older side, perhaps (pre-teen - teenage)

나재민 | na jaemin

terrible for big space. just the absolute worst

baby talk and aegyo is not an action for him, it's a lifestyle. makes you do one or the other (or both if he's feeling particularly sadistic i mean playful) if you want something or as a punishment on the lighter side

probably made you slip multiple times before you even told him you regress

all the cheesy, cringy, cliche stuff? he does that. shamelessly too

loves titles and uses them on himself even if you don't. doesn't make you call him anything, but he loves how it 'rolls off the tongue so well!'

he's an addict to nicknames for you. finds them randomly

"oh man, look at that rabbit! it's so cute!" "just like y/n" "what" just randomly takes out his phone in the middle of walking to text you nana: hi bunny you: ? you: hi?

acts of service are his natural calling. you might as well be quadriplegic.

makes your favorite drink for you! ur too little to do it urself !!! let him do it for u (pls pls pls pls pls he's on his knees)

also makes lunches for you that are all pretty and shaped like some sort of animal when ur feeling small ! he stopped doing cats though since one time you felt like you were eating luna and cried.

you two literally fight to death about who loves who the most. jaemin has to be tied to a chair in the basement of an abandoned building to let you do literally anything for him

punishments are extremely rare. virtually non-existent. he prefers to talk things through and give rewards rather than take away

health is important! it's so so important to him he set up a meal plan where you eat the rainbow three times a day.

makes you exercise with him.........

"i'll be home in about half an hour, jellybean. do you think you could finish a bottle of water by then? i know you can. i'll see you soon, okay?"

종천러 | zhong chenle

you know those people that talk to babies like they're grown people that pay taxes and drink alcohol? that's chenle

he knows you've regressed and you're not in the mindset of an adult anymore, but he isn't a big baby talk person like jaemin is

the nicknames he uses for you are very classic so he can use them both in public and in private (doll, dollface, princess, etc.)

surprisingly into his role as cg? like, he has a chart set up for you and everything. if he's abroad/not around, he'll call you so you can place the gold stars yourself in his behalf

another manners enthusiast

uses titles for himself and expects you to use them too

"'can i have dessert please, what?', princess? what word is missing from that sentence?"

doesn't say much but always keeps an eye or hand on you in public.

bro is nonchalant (for the most part. just don't read his locked notes)

"a gift? i didn't buy you anything" LIAR. "what pink box? have you opened it? bring it over here. let me see"

he's very patient, just stern since he has strict boundaries and rules. constantly encouraging you to have firm boundaries as well.

"is this ok?" "do you not like this?" "how do you feel about that?"

go-to punishment is writing lines. always gives you a yogurt or some other snack when you finish. mostly does it for himself, he doesn't like staying on the subject of punishment/bad behavior. there's better things to do in his opinion

his favorite activity to do with you when small is your text message conversations. no words, no talking, just a photo message from you (!!!! look what i'm doing !!!!) and a photo from him in response (!!!! good job i'm so proud of you !!!! here's what i'm doing !!!!)

박지성 | park jisung

a lot like mark, not a fans of titles or nicknames

more of a listener. has lots of questions but doesn't want to interrupt the groove with which you're explaining the lore of equestria so he just nods his head in hopes that he'll understand with time and context

the one who would adjust the fastest to learning about your age regression out of all the dreamies. give him five minutes and he'll be like "...ok. wanna watch tv now?"

jisung is so !!! silly !!!

a goofy boy. he loves making exaggerated reactions and expressions to make you laugh

"gah-!" you've hit him with an invisible arrow! jisung holds his chest, stumbling back to slowly fall down onto the floor. very very slowly. "you've shot me... i can feel my life force leaving me... why... would you do this...? bleh."

kind of has a sixth sense for you. if something triggers you and makes you slip in public, he's like a cat that heard something no one else can.

pulsing your hand in his to get your attention only for you to avoid eye contact is a dead giveaway. he might not always be able to leave the event, but he makes sure to give you a break of just you two. breathing exercises, grounding techniques, he also lets you play with the plush toy keychain he bought for occasions just like these.

the first time you shutdown verbally when small, jisung panics! he's running around looking up on the internet how to 'talk without talking'. now he's a baby sign language expert. good job, you! /gen

can u tell this came from a jaemin delusion? he's just so cg coded my LORD ㅠㅠ

147 notes · View notes

sighingsiren-tales · 1 year

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You Knew better pt. 3

4.6k

I know, it’s quite late. But the 10 hr work shifts, sorority events and school keep me occupied. I will probably go back and edit later but I wanted you guys to have something to read lol.

Enjoy

______

You were catapulted back; Pushed back onto the bed with the force of a man starved. Your lust slams into you in ways you couldn’t begin to describe. The dark, hooded and lustful stare he was giving you from across the king-sized bed was driving you mad; Your body arches for him, between your thighs tingles incessantly with the anticipation of his lips, his tongue, his...oh god. He crawls over you quickly, dropping his body over yours within seconds. Both hands went underneath both of your thighs, pulling you towards him, dragging your body against the sheets as you tug on his midnight-colored strands of hair.

This was selfish; You weren’t even thinking about this in the reciprocal way that you should have been. You were tipsy and you wanted him to satisfy you in a way that you knew that only he could; For once, you were not worried about his satisfaction.

Let's see how long that lasts.

You want him to wear you out, for him to make you come over and over again before the heart crushing reality that you had grown accustomed to sets in. You had let him your bed for selfish reasons, but he would stay there for reasons that were way closer to the sense of attachment you had for him than you ever wanted them to be. But the moment that he had grunted your name, setting your lower stomach ablaze whilst pushing his erection into your barely clothed sex, you were pulled from all rationality

“Jaehyun, baby, lower”.

He broke the kiss with an oddly satisfying wet sound and leaned down towards your ear. God, how were the small things driving you so wild?

“You’re never this direct with me kitten” He panted in your ear, groaning when you rubbed your hand over his erection firmly before popping open the top button of his slacks.

“You’re taking too long” You whine.

He pulls back to look at you; Pretty as a picture. The way he stares at you, the way you know you have all of his attention and, if you may be so bold, all of him for the night; It fills you with pride and confidence. Beckoning him forward, you speak.

“I did not bring you here for foreplay”.

Waking up was equally frustrating as it was refreshing; You would have felt well rested from the night if it wasn’t for the dream that you had waking up in a cold sweat. This is unbelievable. Must the man torture you in your sleep as well?

The dream felt so real or, rather, the memory was more vivid than you could handle. It touched parts of you that you didn’t want to rouse at the moment; His hands, his voice, his hair, his fingers: they all seemed just within your grasp, just within your reach and it physically pained you to know that you had to basically put his ass in jail. You flexed your thighs then relaxed them, the sensation traveling straight to your core and causing an involuntary yet beautiful sound to leave your throat. You flung yourself back onto your assortment of pillows.

The calm lasted for about a minute before a knock came. You look up just in time to see Jaehyun open the door and peek his head in.

“Are you okay? I heard you make a... sound”.

You nodded.

It was silent for a moment as you both stood on opposite sides of the room.

“May I come in? "The way his hair fell into his eyes as he looked up at you with those beautiful Hershey colored irises. You hate to admit it, but it melted you instantly, much to your dismay.

And so, you did as the script said and nodded your head. His eyes seem to lighten and his shoulders lift as he walks into your space. He took a few hesitant steps to the foot of the bed, lingering there although you saw his dominant foot hesitate to take another step.

You sat up straighter, watching the man with actual interest. He was quiet, seemingly more interested with the designs of the quilt on your bed.

You allow him a few more moments of silence.

“Jaehyun, you asked to come in to stare at my bed?” You questioned.

You lean over and drink the cup of water by your bedside as you wait for his answer.

Your throat was suddenly very dry.

The water could not seem to quench it.

Your dream is in front of you. How are you going to handle this? Your brain cannot seem to think. Your heart, all too eager. When he turns, you sneak a mint, holding it on your tongue for anticipation of where this could go.

Where he could ask for it to go.

Where he would ask for it to go.

At that action, you already knew what you wanted.

You curse yourself, only slightly, but bitterly. Was it always going to be him? Can one be angry and elated? He clears his throat and disrupts the thoughts; He is very good at disruptive behavior.

“I…” he raises his gaze.

He cannot seem to form words for a moment; He just stands there, looking at you. Finally, words find him.

“I wanted to talk to you”.

You reign in your desire and push forth your skepticism. You raise a brow.

“Talk then”.

He lets out a breath.

“Thank you for letting me crash here. I appreciate you and the place to stay for the night”.

You smile at the genuine thanks; A peak of his personality, a flash of his former self. The ease is a cool river.

“Any time Jae”.

Silence once more.

Has it been a minute yet? His gaze is at you, then at his pocket, then the quilt and, when he thinks you’re not looking, his gaze is back on you.

You allow him the peace of checking your messages, though you have no new ones, to make sure your gaze does not unnerve him. The small concession in favor of his comfort slowly poisons you as you realize how far you have fallen.

“There is something else, I can tell”.

A pause.

“Say it now, or forever hold your peace”.

The awkward attempt at a joke goes into thin air; Your lungs cannot seem to take in enough air.

“I'm not good with talking or emotions, at all” His speech is choppy. He pauses every so often, presumably to find the words to say.

You do not allow him the grace; Let him find the words. You would no longer supply them or the avenue; Only bear witness to what he considers a display of emotion, whatever that may be.

His voice is soft.

“I know…I know I’m not your favorite person right now. I just want you to know that I feel for you in ways I’ve never had with another girl-woman. I don’t know if what I’m about to say is smart, but I think it is impossible for me to leave you alone”.

Your heart can hardly contain itself but, before it rises too high, he makes a noise of frustration.

“I’m not good with all these fuckin’ words” it’s said after a laugh of annoyance, you presume.

You look up for a moment and he is fumbling before you: something he rarely does. His hands are in his pockets, in his hair, his gaze is not steadily on you but, the moments where it is, you can feel it. Your heart barely gives you the time.

Should you be honest? You look back at him.

“I do not mind telling you, I am a hair short of terrified of what will happen if I give you permission to show me with action what you cannot with words. I’m giving you the easy way out, again”.

He looks up, face hopeful and his eyes bright.

“I know it doesn’t look good on my part but, please?”.

It is truly disgusting how quickly you melt; Your heart soothes the emotion with desire.

You made a noise, shifting in your bed uneasily.

“And how am I supposed to do this? If I let you and you just fuck me over further, what am I to do then?” You ask aloud, fidgeting with the covers.

You weren’t entirely ready for that reality.

But you couldn’t quite bear the current one.

What you were ready for is your happily ever after, not another failure masquerading as a prince. You sigh heavily, shaking your head as if to shake off all the bad thoughts.

“I do not want to fuck you over. Please believe that”.

Your heart is in your ears. Honesty is the best policy, right?

“I just…I want you to be real with me”.

“Then let me show you” He was quick to respond, even going as far as to take a step closer.

Was the confidence surge a red flag? You were not sure. But you know how your body reacts to it; It is like clockwork. Diffusion is the next step.

“You couldn’t do this in the afternoon?” You complain, exasperated, with an ever so slight smile on your face.

A smile graces his lips. He shakes his head “no”.

Mumbling a “couldn’t wait”.

The smile you exchange is his green light; He took it as a chance to walk over to you, sitting on the bed.

His hands reach for yours.

“I really couldn’t wait”.

You watch him watch you, the tension growing by the millisecond as you hold up his gaze. It is a strange thing you put yourself through. An odd thing that you know you cannot resist.

Does your body crave him? Do you? Is there truly a difference anymore? What did it matter when he was pleading with you, so awkward in front of you, stumbling to find what to say? Against your better judgment, you were giving permission.

It seemed to happen slowly, each movement a bloom of blush across your cheeks or a shift of a gaze or his touch. You place your hand next to his thigh, leaning forward ever so slightly. But he leaned in more, letting his fingers caress the expanse of your bare skin. He pulls the covers back from the corner neatly as you lean closer, swinging your legs under you and sitting up on your knees. His hands went to your back, soft and unhurried while your own rested on his shoulders, then his neck. He was pulling you closer and you allowed it, all while you maintained eye contact and my God did it tantalize you in ways that no human language could accurately describe. You were so close, so so close. His lips, his kiss and most importantly, him, they were all moments away and all you had to do was say:

“Yes”.

And there it went.

He pulled you close, finally letting the gap close as his lips met yours. His lips never took control of yours, gentle, sweet and almost begging for guidance in a way. He was letting you lead the kiss; his hands didn’t wander, and his actions didn’t stray. You let your hands frame his face, tilting his head back and kissing his lips as much as you wanted.

It was a sweet, short eternity before he broke it, watching you above him before he slowly maneuvered himself on the bed. You felt the anticipation burn, letting him gently unfurl your legs out from under you as he laid you down. He didn’t let his body touch yours, instead caressing your own body. He stayed quiet for some time, letting his fingers memorize you. It was actually enough to become a bit embarrassing since he never really did things like this; Things that made you feel in ways that weren’t entirely sexual. Those sexual brushes were seemingly electrified by those underlying feelings.

“Jaehyun, what are you doing?” You ask softly.

That was the moment his gaze snapped up to you, his fingers still. His eyes seem dark, but that hesitant aura still surrounded him. He leaned down, laying down on the bed and hooking his arms underneath your legs. Your eyes widen ever so slightly.

“I’m showing you that I’m not doing this for myself anymore”.

Watching as his fingers move deftly to the inside the waistband of your shorts, he tugs on them.

“May I?” He asked, accompanied with a boyish smile.

You nodded, for you were in fear of using your voice and making a fool out of yourself.

He pulls the material down your legs effortlessly, throwing them over to some forgotten corner of your room. He laid down entirely on his stomach, watching you with hooded eyes before he moved his gaze to the apex of your thighs.

He kissed the inside of your right thigh, once, then twice before throwing your right leg over his shoulder. He kissed your left one next, taking his time with the skin there. He looks up again, asking for confirmation with his eyes.

You nodded.

He shakes his head softly.

“Say it”.

You want to huff but don’t. Instead, you simply say: “Please”.

And it began.

The second his soft lips touch your clit, your back arches ever so slightly, your fingers tangle themselves in his hair and your leg lifts. He chuckled at the reaction, licking his way down your slit and back to your clit, this time French kissing it. The movements of his tongue were fluid, curling and flattening so effortlessly that you could’ve swore he had taken a class on this. You let out a few light moans before he let his tongue make figure eights around your clit. You inhaled sharply, crying out and grabbing at the sheets. He pushed your legs apart gently, now kissing the area around your entrance. Each kiss was slow, deliberate and it killed you in the best way possible. He let a lone finger swipe across, collecting your wetness gingerly as he moved it up and down while kissing your clit. He let one finger slide inside of you, the sensation was a tease. It was nothing compared to his length, to his girth but in this moment was just enough. Your hips roll tentatively, feeling him out. He curled his finger, making you whine for him more.

Opening your eyes- you weren’t entirely sure when you had closed them- you saw Jaehyun looking at you from in between your legs. He looked you over, making sure to keep his eyes on you; You watched him as he pumped a finger in and out of you as slowly as he could. When you take your bottom lip between your teeth, his motion is swift, he raises up from his space and comes to hover over you. One moment his nose is softly rubbing against yours and the next, he’s kissing you. You heard him moan the moment he kissed you. You curled your leg around him so that he could keep moving his two fingers in and out of you. You felt yourself moaning and mewling into his mouth, arching up into the messy kiss as he wrapped a single arm around your waist, holding you close. You broke the kiss, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck and letting out mewls of his name. You suppress a moan by kissing his neck and he rewards you with one of his own.

“I love when you do that” His voice is clouded over by lust.

Pulling back, to look into his eyes you surprise yourself with the way you reached up and let your fingers dance across the expanse of his jaw.

His eyes widened ever so slightly at you touching him so tenderly, but he quickly remembered the reason why he was there and continues to continue his ministrations. You attempt to withhold a whine as he thumbs your clit.

“You don’t normally say things like that”.

He pauses, taking a moment before moving your hair away from your face.

“You’re gonna cum for me” he speaks softly.

You are not sure if you did a good job of hiding the disappointment on your face; He didn’t fall prey to the air of confession, but you suppose that his reaction gave you your answer.

When you look away, he tilts your head back up, pressing against your clit harder.

“I can see the disappointment in your eyes. I wasn’t finished” he declares.

Your heart perks up.

He leans closer as your heart pounds in your chest and in your ears.

“Your eyes are lowered and you’re looking at me like you could eat me” His thumb slowly swipes across your bottom lip.

“Those pretty eyes are telling me all the things that you won’t let yourself say or do "He curls both fingers making you grasp onto him tightly, a gasp escaping your lips.

“Your hips move to meet my fingers, you’re grabbing onto my arms, kissing my neck while you try your hardest to hold it together”.

Did he seriously notice all that?

“Jaehyun, a bit more”.

He leans in just a bit closer.

“You tighten when I do this” He curls his fingers softly.

“Oh god, you have to hit right there”.

He chuckles.

“I know kitten. The point is, I know you”

A pause

“Right now, though, I don’t think that’s important anymore”.

He bites his lip.

“What is important is the fact that I love when you kiss my neck”.

He does?

“I can listen to you moan my name all day long and get hard each and every time”.

You were about to do it again.

“To make you forget the world and focus on one thing only is a blessing to me”.

“J-Jaehyun”.

“I know, kitten”

You grip onto his shoulders while you feel euphoria wash over your body. It was wave after wave of pleasure, and you weren’t too sure you could handle its intensity. You open your eyes whilst riding the curtails of your orgasm and find Jaehyun looking right at you. You gripped onto his shirt as the last waves passed but he remained silent, watching you with dark eyes.

“Feel good?” He asks.

You nodded, leaning back against the pillows. It took a moment before he did anything but, eventually, he sat on top of the quilt with you, letting you rest your head on his shoulders.

But even through your pleasure haze, you could see his erection clearly in those borrowed sweatpants. You let your gaze flicker downward and he caught your eyes trailing over his crotch. He shook his head, simply offering you an adorable smile.

Instead, he wraps an arm around you and pulls you back down to the bed.

You weren’t sure when you drifted off to sleep but when you awoke, you heard the water running in the bathroom. Stretching out your muscles, you look around your bedroom and accurately deduce who was in the shower. Your mind went to earlier in the day; His ministrations, his fingers, his tongue. Clenching your thighs, you decide that you need to take your mind away from that. Getting up from your bed with the intention of getting a snack, you stop by the bathroom door for a moment. You could hear him from your spot against the bathroom door.

It took seconds for you to realize what he was doing; The moans, the intake of breath and the low whines you heard from him. Should you? You had a thought of going into the bathroom, surprising him and starting what would definitely be an amazing sex session.

But you thought of your relationship to the situation and how, if you went in there and asked him to fuck you silly, you would never see if he’s serious about treating you properly. So, despite every fiber in your being, you resign, opting to walk away.

Then you hear a soft moan.

A very soft but very audible “kitten”.

Your eyes went wide as you froze in place, not really knowing what to say or do as you inadvertently listened to him finish. You kind of just stood there, looking like an absolute fool as he came out of the bathroom, toweling his hair. His eyes connected with yours and, uncharacteristically, a flush of color flooded his cheeks.

“I know you heard that”.

You nod once, at a loss for words as you take a few steps forward.

“You said my name” You whisper, your voice barely carrying in the quiet apartment.

“Technically” He began, taking a step towards you and wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you forward. “I said your nickname”.

His towel was damp and the only thing separating you two.

It was so quiet and you weren’t sure what it was that you could do about this situation while not fucking up a potential connection you could have with him.

You couldn’t stop your reaction; You were in front of him before you could realize it, raising yourself up on your tiptoes while you wrap both arms around his neck. Sighing rather loudly, he wraps his arms around you and nuzzles himself in your neck.

You will yourself to say what was on your mind as you let him hold you.

“Jaehyun”.

“Mm?”

You swallow.

“What do you want from me?” The words were a soft whisper, burning in your throat as you realized what you had asked.

He sighs, pulling you closer to him but offering no other response. You let him have a few moments of silence, but you weren’t having it last longer than a minute.

“Jaehyun” You repeat sternly.

The man says nothing, opting to hold you tighter instead. You push him off, only to find that he won’t meet your eyes.

You feel your chest constrict.

“So that’s it? You get drunk, mess with my emotions and then that’s it?” The pain in your heart is palpable as you watch his quiet form.

He offered nothing for a few moments. You chuckle dryly, sniffing to try to hold back the tears.

It was only when you began to storm off in the direction of your bedroom that he showed any reaction, grabbing your hand.

“Don’t go” The words were out of his mouth in a rush before he could stop himself.

You felt the tears well up in your eyes the moment he said that; Every emotion that he has either pleasured you with or forced you to experience came to the surface.

Inhaling sharply and exhaling slowly, you pull your hand from his grip.

“I…I care about you”.

You shake your head.

“Not enough” You counter to which he was very quiet.

Not even bothering to look his way, you shut your eyes quietly as your bitter work stared you in the face.

This could not go on.

He is not the man you thought he was.

With the last amount of strength you had, you addressed the man behind you.

“Leave”.

It was quiet for a moment as both of you just let the demand hang in the air. Inhaling sharply, you mentally prepare yourself for his reaction as you turn to face him. Hardening your gaze, you looked towards the man in front of you with a new sense of malice, something you hoped you would never have to do.

You’re going to have to force yourself to stay away from Jaehyun.

“I-”

You shake your head.

“No. I’m happy you’re no longer hungover; Get dressed and get out. If you’re not gone within the next 20 minutes, Johnny will show you out”.

He scoffed but the sharpness in your gaze made him reconsider whatever the hell he was about to say next. He remained quiet as he went to retrieve his belongings. You couldn’t bear to watch it so, you did the only thing you could and retreated to your room. You were two steps in before you realized that your sanctuary had been contaminated with him as well. Rage surged through your veins as you remembered the preceding morning. You stripped the bed angrily, and ball up the sheets in your arms, taking everything off you take it over the washing machine.

You ignore the hurt in his face as you brush past him to throw it in the wash.

“Actually” You spun around, surprisingly disappointed and simultaneously relieved to find that he was a good 2 feet away from you.

Your words die in your throat. You can do nothing but laugh bitterly at the situation.

“Never mind” you mumble.

You slam the washer closed after affording him a glare. You turn back to the task at hand.

Seeing those hands that caressed your skin not too long ago, those eyes that held you captive for so long and those lips that spoke lies you wanted to believe oh so bad; The helplessness and the inferiority of a high schooler returned with a staggering vengeance.

God, have you truly changed so little?

No.

You couldn’t have changed so little. The tears sprang to your eyes before you could say anything. The hope that you held onto that candle flame you held for him dimmed greatly; In that moment you promised yourself you would do anything to make sure that flame went out and stayed out. You allow the hope you have to come to the surface: The hope that he would hold you and tell you that it was only you that he wanted, that it was only you that he wanted to love and hold; You let it swell into a great big frozen balloon. Then, before you can question it, you smash it.

You intend on using the shards to sever any remaining ties between you and the man in front of you.

You deserved more than being a simple physical release or comfort but as a partner. You begin to scan your memories with lightning speed, reminding yourself of the past opportunities that you squandered for Jaehyun.

His voice as he called to you was distorted, the bass didn’t reverberate through you like it once did and you simply didn’t feel the slight dizziness of intoxication that his presence so often provided. It was no longer a game and, at once, it seemed as if you had broken the matrix. Here you stood watching as Jaehyun took a step towards you, feeling nothing but cold anger.

“You…you’re not going to say anything?” His voice low, quiet.

What had made him so special before? You ponder, lost in thought at your own question as you faced him. You suppose he received an answer through his own assumptions, deciding to pass you by quietly to gather the little things he has left. You stood in perpetual silence, only deciding to move once he pulled his shirt over his head. Your destination: Your phone.

Heading over to your bedroom, with a quick tap of your fingers.

You: (4:46)- You busy?

A few moments later:

Johnny (4:50)- Nah, you need me for something?

You: (4:51)-Badly. Had a really ruff day.

Johnny: (4:53)- Say less, be over in 30.

“Leave the door unlocked please”.

Doyoung’s eyes blazed with a fire that you had clearly stoked behind them before he barked out a vicious laugh.

“Johnny?”.

You do not respond.

You do not have the energy for it, you simply shrug, deciding that you weren’t going to engage in the endless game. You’d rather bury your sorrows in Johnny’s neck as you whispered for him to go deeper. Healthy? No. Effective? Maybe. Pleasurable? Hell yeah.

“I’ll see you later?”.

You set your mouth into a line and nod.

“See you at work”.

Jaehyun grips his jacket, scratching the soft material of the couch whilst doing so and messing up the tastefully placed blanket. Only when you heard the door slam shut did you both relish in and dread the silence.

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