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#but like sorry that comes down to parenting and is not the responsibility of authors / tv crreators / whatever outside of extremes
a couple times when i taught first grade i used frog and toad to do a little mini-unit for a small group (of first graders who can more or less independently read frog and toad, which most can't for most of the year) about character, because frog and toad is great for that because the books are never like, "frog is cheerful and optimistic. toad is a loyal friend but very grumpy and gets upset easily," but the characters are so vividly drawn across the stories that the vibes really come across, so it's good training wheels for the concept of, "we can figure out what characters are like even if the author doesn't come right out and tell us." there's this one frog and toad story where frog wants to hang out, but toad doesn't because it's january, and he wants to sleep until spring, so he goes back to sleep and tells frog to wake him when its spring. so frog rips off the pages off his calendar until it says may and then wakes toad up and says "wake up! spring is here!" and and toad bounds out of bed all excited and the last page is the two of them contentedly heading out into the snow while the text says "and they went out to enjoy spring," or something like that. it's real cute.
anyway. so i did this story with a small group one year, and when we were discussing observations we could make about the characters that we could then turn into inferences about their traits, one of the things the kids decided was a takeaway re: frog here was: he's a bad friend. why? because!!!! he lied to toad!!!! you shouldn't lie to your friends!!! they were very offended on toad's behalf, that frog had taken his earnest request and used it to trick him. and, you know, i couldn't really argue with that. i could, and did, tell them that frog's behavior as a friend would be much more upstanding in upcoming stories, and that in this story he sure wanted to spend time with toad which is a good-friend thing to do, and i could and did attempt feebly to explain that i thought the author maybe was trying to be a little bit funny and show us that toad was being a little dramatic the whole time, but that type of sophistication was i found beyond even these slightly precocious first graders, for reasons less to do with reading comprehension and more to do with their general developmental capacity for complexity of thought and psychological reasoning. but, ultimately, if they decided in their personal value codes that lying to a friend for personal gain was really really bad and they would never consider someone who lied to them for personal gain to be a good friend, like, that's their right as readers. (i think eventually they landed on, frog is mostly a good friend but not always, which was about as much nuance as i could hope to squeeze from their tiny brains and left me satisfied. lol.)
but my point is: they knew that it was their right as readers. they felt no compunctions whatsoever about exercising their own moral judgement on the text, regardless of how unpunished frog's transgression remained. i didn't have to teach them that part.
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redgoldsparks · 8 months
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My very last comic for The Nib! End of an era! Transcription below the cut. instagram / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my book / redbubble
The first event I went to with GENDER QUEER was in NYC in 2019 at the Javits Center.
So many of the people who came to my signing were librarians, and so many of them said the same thing: "I know exactly who I want to give this to!" Maia: "Thank you for helping readers find my book!" While working on the book, I was genuinely unsure if anyone outside of my family and close friends would read it. But the early support of librarians and two American Library Association awards helped sell two print runs in first year.
Since then, GENDER QUEER been published in 8 languages, with more on the way: Spanish, Czech, Polish, French, Italian, Norwegian, Portugese and Dutch.
It has also been the most banned book in the United States for the past two years. The American Library Association has tracked an astronomical increase in book challenges over the past few years. Most of these challenges are to books with diverse characters and LGBTQ themes. These challenges are coming unevenly across the US, in a pattern that mirrors the legislative attacks on LGBTQ people. The Brooklyn Public Library offered free eCards to anyone in the US aged 13-21, in an effort to make banned books more available to young readers. A teacher in Norman, Oklahoma gave her students the QR code for the free eCard and lost her job. Summer Boismeir is now working for the Brooklyn Public Library. Hoopla and Libby/Overdrive, apps used to access digital library books, are now banned in Mississippi to anyone under 18. Some libraries won’t allow anyone under 18 to get any kind of library card without parental permission. When librarians in Jamestown, Michigan refused to remove GENDER QUEER and several other books, the citizens of the town voted down the library’s funding in the fall 2022 election. Without funding, the library is due to close in mid-2024. My first event since covid hit was the American Library Association conference in June 2022 in Washington, DC. Once again, the librarians in my signing line all had similar stories for me: “Your book was challenged in our district" "It was returned to the shelf!" "It was removed from the shelf..." "It was moved to the adult section."
Over and over I said: "Thank you. Thank you for working so hard to keep my book in your library. I’m sorry you had to defend it, but thank you for trying, even if it didn't work." We are at a crossroads of freedom of speech and censorship. The future of libraries, both publicly funded and in schools, are at stake. This is massively impacting the daily lives of librarians, teachers, students, booksellers, and authors around the country. In May 2023, I read an article from the Washington Post analyzing nearly 1000 of the book challenges from the 2021-2022 school year. I was literally on route to a festival to talk about book bans when I read a startling statistic. 60% of the 1000 book challenges were submitted by just 11 people. One man alone was responsible for 92 challenges. These 11 people seem to have made submitting copy-cat book challenges their full-time hobby and their opinions are having an outsized ripple effect across the nation. WE NEED TO MAKE THE VOICES SUPPORTING DIVERSE BOOKS AND OPPOSING BOOK BANS EVEN LOUDER. If you are able too, show up for your library and school board meetings when book challenges are debated. Send supportive comments and emails about the Pride book display and Drag Queen story hours. If you see a display you like– for Banned Book Week, AAPI Month, Black History Month, Disability Awareness Month, Jewish holidays, Trans Day of Remembrance– compliment a librarian! Make sure they feel the love stronger than the hate <3
Maia Kobabe, 2023
The Nib
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diddybok · 5 months
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asking best friend!stray kids what you are pt.2
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all characters depicted in my writing are from my own imagination and do NOT in any way represent nor reflect the people in real life :)
➩pairing: ot8 x gn!reader
➩genre(s): angst, some fluff
➩warnings: strong language, mentions of sex, some of the boys are still mean, some unhappy endings
➩wc: 9.4k (9433)
➩author’s note: i am so serious if anybody talks to you in a way to undermine, condescend or just simply belittle you and make you feel stupid, pls pls pls cut that person out of your life. even if they’re doing it as a ‘joke’. it never ends well. ily all and you deserve the best of the best, always <3
➩parts: part one
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chris | 1.2k (1201) words
After the fourth ring, you swipe the little phone symbol across your screen and the time starts. You watch it go from one second, to the next, and the next, before a deep elongated sigh pulls you out of your trance. 
You put him on speaker, afraid of the way you’d react if you were to hear him so close to you in your ear. You can’t handle that right now. 
“Y/n?” His slightly distorted voice says. You don’t reply, placing the phone down in front of you as you sit and fiddle with the rings on your fingers. 
“Come on sweetheart, say something please. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Chris asks softly. Akin to a parent who would try and get their child to confess to stealing cookies out of the cookie jar. 
You run your hands down your face. You’re annoyed with him, most definitely. But you can’t deny the butterflies that start to flutter in your stomach when he addresses you like that. 
It’s not fair. 
The line is painfully silent for another two minutes. Chris patiently, or rather stubbornly, waiting for you to speak. 
“This…this is harder than I thought it’d be.” You say, your voice croaking slightly as this is the first time you have spoken in a while. 
“Okay. Try not to think too much about it. Just speak your truth, unload it all.” Chris encourages. 
You take a deep breath and run your hands up and down your thighs to stop them from clamming up. 
“You hurt my feelings. You are continuing to hurt my feelings. I feel as if I’m the only one who is missing out on an inside joke that everybody seems to know but me.” You halt, waiting to see if he would have a rebuttal. Except he doesn’t and his silence spurs you on to continue. 
“I thought we were practically dating. I thought that night would be the night that you would ask to be together as a couple. You know, exclusive?” You chuckle bitterly. “So imagine my surprise when you decide to ignore me for a week. Do you know how shitty that felt?” You ask him. 
You can just about hear his breaths. They’re soft and collected. Yet the more you wait for his response that he doesn’t seem to be giving, you are becoming the opposite of that. 
“I asked you a question.” You say curtly. 
“I can see how that would make you feel shitty, yes. For that I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I felt like I fucked everything up for us.” You think he sounded genuine enough when he said that, so you elect yourself to be quiet so he can continue. 
“I should’ve stopped it. Doing it knowing I wasn’t ready for it to happen—like that anyway—was not fair on you. I wouldn’t say that it has complicated things per say, but it has led me to think about a few things.” Chris finishes. 
You sit there, the flaps of the butterfly wings now causing the bile to travel upwards and out. You reach over and grab your water bottle from your bedside table and chug as much as you can. 
“Think about things like what?” You will yourself to say, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand at the water that managed to escape and drip down your chin. 
He doesn’t reply which does not settle your nerves. Especially not after that last sentence he said. Silence is not your friend at this moment. 
“Chris—”
“I think that we should be together.” He practically vomits out. 
Your eyes widen and your eyebrows shoot up to the top of your skull. 
“What!”
“Y/n?”
You both speak at the same time. 
“Oh sorry you go ahead.”
“Sorry, you first.”
You hear a small chuckle over the line as you speak over each other again. He stays silent this time, letting you talk. 
“Are you serious? Like you really mean that? You aren’t playing me for a fool right?” You ask quickly. 
“Yes. Yes. No,” You release a silent scream. “I really do want us. I have always wanted us, but this—you—made me realise that we should’ve made it official a while ago. There were only so many more excuses I could pull out of the bag to mask me taking you out on dates as just ‘best friends hanging out doing questionable things’.” 
Of course, you knew this as you are smart. The excuse he gave when he took you to a rooftop restaurant with candlelights everywhere was certainly not ‘for practice when I get a partner’. Him having your favourite meal prepared and the playlist the two of you made playing in the background? Dead giveaway. 
“Plus it is also totally unrealistic that you as my best friend would splash that much cash on me unless it was because you lost a bet. So I had a feeling I knew something was up. Which I guess is why I got a bit too excited and jumped to the conclusion that we were already a couple.” You say scratching the back of your neck. 
“Not true! I would always buy you things.” Chris corrects. 
“Yeah but you’d always complain whilst doing so. So when you stopped complaining, something had clearly shifted.” You clarify. 
You can envision the eye roll he does paired with the sigh he releases making you laugh. 
There’s another silence that fills the space, albeit this time it is comfortable. Until he sneezes down the line and you catch yourself smiling warmly as you bless him. 
“What happens now? Do we get a level up on our relationship or something? Or do I magically spawn in your arms and you cuddle me until I fall asleep? I’m thinking that sounds like the correct thing to happen next.” He teases. 
“Of course that’s what you think.” 
“Hey, I don’t make the rules, I just work here.” He says in a seductive drawl. 
“You’re still very much in the dog house. Honestly, I feel it’s only fair for me to leave you waiting a week to even see me.” You speak without a hint of sarcasm. 
It goes quiet over the phone again. You look down at your rings, twisting them around your finger gently. 
“Okay…I guess that’s fair.” He finally responds. 
You release a breath you weren't aware you were holding, nodding to yourself in agreement. 
“You’re one hundred percent certain you want this? Want to be together past just best friends?” You clarify. 
“What do you not trust me already? Y/n I want to be with you. I have wanted to be with you. Our communication just wasn’t great. But we will work on it together. Okay?” Chris speaks gently down the phone. 
“Okay.” You say softly. 
Though it will take a day or two for you to get over the fact he didn’t message you for a week, you feel as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. 
Whatever the next step of your relationship with Chris is, you’re just relieved that you get to do it together with no more misunderstandings. 
minho | 1.0k (1032) words
You and Minho decided that it would be best for you to discuss your relationship over lunch. He even offered to pay which you certainly were not going to turn down. 
You have been hyping yourself up in front of the mirror for about twenty minutes since Minho said he was en route. If Minho texting you earlier was any indication of how this conversation will go, then you are sure you aren’t silly for practising breathing techniques and how to not make a fool of yourself on a whole. 
You’re getting your jacket when you hear his knock at the door. You know it��s him because he only ever knocks in a pattern. 
Opening the door, you’re glad to see him greet you with a smile on your face. Though that’s how it has always been in your relationship. Even when you fight, you always know to resolve the issue with a smile and to never yell at each other. 
Even though you could tell he was anxious, he was masking it well. Throughout the drive, playing your favourite songs. Even now in the café ordering you your favourite meal when he caught you scanning the menu acting like you didn’t know what you wanted already. 
Safe to say, the both of you calm each other down, which makes this conversation much easier to have. 
“So, let's address the elephant in the room.” You start, taking a sip of your milkshake. 
“I first want to say that whatever we choose to do from this point on, you are not allowed to leave me. Well, you can’t anyways because I am always going to be in your life.” He says with an unwavering smile on his face. 
You hold back your smile and nod, letting him carry on. 
“No I do mean it. I just think that we’d be better off just being…us. You know what I mean?” He says using his hands to emphasise.  
“Mmm, let’s dig a little deeper. I just don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us. Obviously what we shared was nice and I don’t think that we should regret it, right?” You say with a tilt of your head. 
“I agree. I had a think about it whilst I drove to your house to pick you up and I don’t think it was fair of me to question what we did. In terms of making you think that I felt that it wasn’t right of us to do.” Minho explains. He looks around before leaning in slightly. “Especially since that was the best sex I have had in months.” He throws a wink your way and you have to stop yourself from taking a bow. 
Him saying that feels as though numerous weights have been lifted off of your shoulders. You were most anxious about whether he either hated it or thought it was a mistake. So you’re now glad to hear that neither of it was the case. 
The waiter comes over with your food and you thank them. You’re about to pick up your fork and take a bite of food to fuel your courage but you’re abruptly tutted at. 
“Just because we are in the midst of an important conversation does not mean we skip tradition.” Minho says, raising his eyebrow at you. 
You place the fork down and put up a peace sign as you pose. He takes out his camera and snaps a photo of you with both his and your meal in the frame. He then puts his middle finger up and poses with an over exaggerated bored expression. You chuckle to yourself before taking the photo. 
“You said that we moved too fast assuming that we were moving in the first place. Do you still think that now?” You say before taking a bite of your meal. 
He finishes his mouthful as he furrows his eyebrows and thinks about your question. 
“Well I mean, I’d be an idiot to say that I didn’t think that it wouldn’t be going anywhere. But for us right now, I don’t think we should be moving at all.” He speaks. 
The food you are swallowing seems to get a little stuck as you start to quietly choke. All the while Minho grows increasingly embarrassed at your lack of ability to stay alive. 
“Okay calm, people are starting to look over.” He says to you, pouring you a glass of water from the jug on the table. 
You take a few gulps and tap your chest.
“Damn. You shouldn’t say things like that when I’m mid chew.” You scold. 
“My apologies, from now on I shall wait until the food has made its descent to the pit of acid in your stomach.” He lightly chuckles. 
“So what I’m hearing is that all things considered romantically, we should stop. So we just continue on as friends?” You clarify. 
He nods. 
“Hit the nail on the head.”
“Right…I mean I guess that works. After all, we were friends before we got curious so I’m pretty sure we can just laugh about it and carry on.” You smile albeit quite painfully. 
“Yes of course! We were just curious…” Minho adds, a painful smile also etched onto his features. 
Can you just laugh about it and carry on? Even when it felt so natural? So…right?
There’s a silence pregnant with awkwardness as you and Minho avoid each other’s gazes and continue to eat. 
Akin to a supporting artist having a cue to interact with the leads of a movie, the waiter comes over to ask if everything was alright with the food. 
You both bombard him with praise and he seems a little taken aback and hurries away to the next table. 
You don’t lie to Minho often, much like he doesn’t lie to you. However, in this café it seems the two of you are egregious liars. Which explains the way you both see right through each other. 
You know that it’s only a matter of time until something happens again because unfortunately you have crossed the line. Let’s just hope you can go at least a month before you’re entangled in each other's arms again. 
changbin | 1.1k (1120) words
One, two, three knocks on your door. You approach it slowly, looking through the peephole to see Changbin standing in his big puffer jacket and gloves. 
You consider letting him stay in the cold a little longer, but the goodness in your heart wills your hand to open the door. 
“Come in quickly, it’s cold.” You order. 
He doesn’t dally with his movements, coming inside quickly as you shut the door behind him. It’s quiet as he takes off his shoes and coat, giving you a mildly awkward smile that was still dulcet. 
“I was just making breakfast, would you like some?” You offer, walking into the kitchen. 
“Oh, yes please that’d be nice thank you.” He says, following after you. 
The atmosphere feels a little strange and you aren’t used to it. Changbin hasn’t yelled at all since stepping foot inside and usually you would’ve threatened the duct tape on his mouth by now. 
You engage in some aimless chit chat with him whilst you cook. You figured you would ease into this conversation rather than just immediately diving head first. 
“I like what you’ve done with the place.” Changbin admires as he looks around your kitchen. 
You turn to him, bewildered. 
“I haven’t changed my kitchen since I moved in here, bin.” You establish. 
“Really? Oh. I thought there was something different about this place in the week and a bit that I have been gone.” He says with genuinity. 
“Why would I have changed my kitchen around in the week that you’ve been gone?” You ask. 
He shrugs, stealing a blueberry from the bowl when your back is turned from him. 
“I don’t know. Some people dye or cut their hair when they’re upset. I figured since you like your hair too much, you would’ve changed the next best thing.” He solidifies, feeling much too content with the way his brian works. 
You on the other hand aren’t sure whether you’re being tested or if this is truly how he is choosing to behave.
You plate up the food and as you’re about to slide his plate over to him, you pull it back. 
“For every question answered, you get a mouthful of food.” At this, Changbin gawks. 
“This seems illegal in some form or another.” He sulks. 
You open up your phone to your conversation with him. 
“So it says here that you didn’t want to mess up our friendship, but emotions were running high and we weren’t thinking about the consequences. What consequences would that be?” You state. 
He looks at you quizzically. 
“Why do I feel like I’m in court right now? You’re reading the text messages out like evidence and I’m scared.” He says laughing awkwardly. 
“You answer the question. You get to eat.” You redirect. He clears his throat before he begins. 
“Well the consequences would be, erm, how us sleeping together will create ripples in our friendship whether we like it or not. I mean I’m not saying I regret it fully…but maybe a tiny bit?” He says fiddling with his hands. 
He opens his mouth wide as he awaits your end of the deal. You pick up the fork and scoop up some food before you feed it to him. 
For people who aren’t a couple, you sure do act like it. 
“Why is that?” You press further. 
“Because I didn’t want something like this to happen. By that I mean, if we were going to go all the way, then we should have established what we were prior. Even though our friends may think we are a couple, it wasn’t exclusively spoken about between us.” A beat. “But now I think that by letting ourselves get carried away, we missed the opportunity to settle things out with both of us clear on where we stand in our relationship.” He finishes. 
You decide to give him two mouthfuls for that answer to which he hums happily in response. 
You cannot doubt that what he said makes sense. You should have spoken about what you guys were before engaging in something as intimate as sleeping with each other. 
Yet for two people who have already gone to second base countless times before and couldn’t control the libido this time, you also understand where things got messy. 
“I think I get where you’re coming from now.” You say, eating your own mouthful. 
Changbin nods in acknowledgment before stealing a handful of blueberries. 
“But you also said that you still wanna be my best friend. Is that still true? Do you think we can get past this?” You ask apprehensively. 
Changbin’s eyebrows furrow in disbelief. 
“Of course! To both of your questions. Look at us, we’ve lasted this long. Yeah so I’ve been inside you, that’s fine! At least we had a good time, right? We can say that we’ve done it and gotten it out of our system.” He exclaims. 
You pull a face at the last sentence and he is immediately scrambling to reword what he means. 
“No, I don't see it as a throwaway act! I meant that because we had been stopping at second base because we were too scared to take it all the way, we finally reached the goal.” He stammers. 
You raise an eyebrow and cross your arms. 
“No I don’t mean that sleeping with you was the goal, if anything it was off the pitch.” He tries to explain. 
A single tilt of your head was all that was needed in order for him to slam his head into his hands and mutter a ‘I give up’. 
You shake your head and slide the plate over to him as you move across the island to sit on the stall next to him. You place an arm around his shoulder as he sighs. 
“I don’t want to lose you as my best friend too, bin. Let’s just take it one day at a time, yeah? What happened, happened. Now we both know where we stand about our friendship, it’s okay.”
He lifts his head from his palms and looks over you with his big black eyes. 
“You mean that? Like actually? We’re good?” He asks. You laugh slightly. 
“Yes bin, we’re good.” You reassured him. 
“Oh thank God. Does that mean I can still call you my sweet—”
“One day at a time.” You say sternly. 
The both of you smile as you finish the rest of your breakfast. There’s a twinge of hurt that you feel for you and Changbin not going forward as a couple, but you would rather this than to lose him forever. 
So for now, you’ll cherish what an amazing friendship the two of you have and will continue to have. 
hyunjin | 1.1k (1113) words
“Y/n open the fucking door.” You mimic Hyunjin’s last text message to you aloud as you walk down the stairs. 
You were by no means rushing to get to the door, if anything, you think that standing right by it for a good two minutes or so to really irritate him would make you feel much better than you currently do. 
Hyunjin continuously banging on the door pulls you out of your stubborn demeanour. If not for your neighbours, you’d have let him continue to bang against the door until his knuckles bruised. 
Yet it seems your night couldn’t get any worse considering you’ve just taken a fist to the face. Perhaps that was your fault for catching him off guard when he was vigorously knocking as he appeared to have ‘knocked’ your face instead of the door. 
“Oh fuck! Y/n!” Hyunjin yells as he cradles your face in his hands. You appreciate the gesture, you do, he was still your best friend after all. But if this wasn’t the cherry on top of the cake then you don’t know what is. 
“Yep, good to see you too hyune.” You groan. 
You scrunch your face as your hand moves to soothe your forehead. Shrugging out of his hold, you step inside of your home, trusting that he would follow suit and shut the door behind him. 
“Y/n darling I am so sorry. I promise I didn’t mean to knock against…your forehead.” He speaks with utmost genuinity as he shadows behind you. 
You don’t say anything as you just grab yourself some frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel before moving to your living room to make yourself comfortable on the sofa as you wait for him to explain everything. 
You’re thankful that he seems to be getting the hints tonight. He takes his place beside you, worry etched onto his beautiful face. 
Damn his prince-like features…
“Explain yourself then, since texting wasn’t working for you.” You spit. He bites his lip nervously and fidgets with his hands before his eyes look from the bag of peas until falling onto your own. 
“When…when I said I didn’t want you as my best friend, I meant because we can’t just go back to being best friends after that. It would just kill me knowing that you aren’t mine even after the night we shared.”  He starts. 
You sit still and listen, switching hands since the frozen peas were adding to the chill you already had from the conversation that loomed over your head. 
“I don’t want you as my best friend because I want you to be mine. I want to be yours. I want us.  Together.”
You wince. There’s a small part of you that just doesn’t believe him. You place down the now damp tea towel that holds the slowly melting peas. 
He looks at you, trying to read your reaction, but you were giving nothing away. 
“I just wanna know what was going through your head all those nights we spent together. We may not have had sex, but we did everything else. The cuddles, the kisses—when you familiarise yourself with every inch of my body—it would make sense that I thought we were something more than just best friends.”
He breaks eye contact, his interest now on the rings he adorns on his fingers. You can tell he is trying to think of something to say, so you wait patiently. 
“I understand if you feel like I may have been using you.” He acquiesces in meeting your gaze, but he persists. “It hadn’t really occurred to me that you may have thought of us as more than best friends. Granted, instead of sitting in my uncertainty I should have just asked you. Then that night happened and it hit me. Afterwards, I just knew that I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”
You feel nauseous. You can’t decipher exactly what that was supposed to mean. You look over at the now wet kitchen towel. 
“So you do regret it?” You pressed, your voice soft. 
He holds his hands out and shakes his head as he quickly refutes his words. 
“No of course not! I just meant that I know I should have asked you about us before that happened. I didn’t want it to be the case that you felt that I was not serious about us. ‘Cause having sex with someone is serious and I never wanted you to think I was playing around with your feelings.” He finishes. 
You sit there thinking about what he said. Maybe he was being sincere. Maybe he really does want what you thought the two of you had for the past couple of months. 
“How can I know that you aren’t just saying this? That you feel somewhat obligated to make us a thing because of the fact we slept with each other?” You ask. 
“Because I was too much of a coward to say this earlier.” He speaks without missing a beat. 
He scoots closer to you on the sofa, his hands providing warmth in yours. You don’t mean to dither, but you can’t help but weigh all the options. Hyunjin tilts his head to try and meet your eyes.
“I know you’re thinking about all of the things that could go wrong. About all of the things that could go right. What I could be for you in a day, a week, a month or even a year.” He cups your cheek, his thumb gently stroking beneath your eye. “But just be with me in this present moment. Think about what I could be for you now.” He says quietly. 
After some time, you lift your head to meet his gaze, the faintest smile on your lips. 
“Okay.”
Hyunjin’s eyes widened in shock and by the look on his face, you were certain that he thought you were going to reject him. 
“O-okay? You’re sure?” He presses. 
“I’m sure. I can tell you truly meant what you said and I think this would be the better outcome for us. I don’t think I could picture my life without you in it.” You admit. 
“Then I promise you won’t ever have to picture it because I won’t leave you. I won’t leave you, Y/n.” Hyunjin declares. 
You lean in and press a soft kiss to his lips. You aren’t sure whether your head is throbbing from your injury or the thrill that comes with you and Hyunjin finally being together. 
You just hope that Hyunjin is able to keep his promise that he won’t ever leave you; and that in the end, you made the right decision. 
jisung | 1.1k (1115) words 
You and Jisung sit on your sofa with a cup of tea in both of your hands. It’s been ten minutes since he has arrived and not one word has been said between the two of you. 
That’s how things usually are between you and him though. You don’t particularly need to say anything to know what the other one needs. 
However, you fear that your senses haven’t quite been tingling like they ought to be. Since what you thought was commonly shared between both parties has seemed to only be dumped into one. 
An unrequited love is always bound to end in heartbreak and you’re sure that is how today is going to end. 
“Is it just me or do things feel a little odd?” Jisung says breaking the ice, but in a way which has submerged the two of you in ice cold water. 
“Well I think I would be a little more fraught if things didn’t feel odd.” You add. 
You aren’t exactly happy with him at the moment either. In fact you think it’s in his best interest to explain just what he meant in those text messages. 
“Explain yourself then.” You say not beating around the bush. 
Jisung places his mug down before turning to you. 
“I wanna start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I worded what I was trying to say in those texts. You aren’t stupid Y/n, I promise. I’m the one that’s being stupid.” He meets your gaze and you give him a single nod. 
“The truth is, I don’t think I’m ready to have a relationship with you.” 
If your feelings are hurt, you will yourself not to show it on your face. Except your face goes pallid as you feel the knife stab directly into your beating heart. 
“Then why make it seem as if we were? Why not shut it down? Better yet, why use me to get your rocks off and make me think that I am going to amount to more than just your best friend?” Your voice croaks, unable to hide the emotion you’re feeling. 
He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. 
“I can’t give you a definite answer of why I did all of that right now.” He says quietly. 
You can’t help the scoff that falls from your mouth. 
“What the fuck Ji? Why are you even here then? What are we even doing?!” You say starting to grow more upset. 
His eyes widen slightly as he looks at you. He places a hand on your arm and is surprised when you don’t shrug him away. 
“I promise I don’t mean to vex you, I just don’t have an answer because I don’t know. I just know that us having slept together made things seem…real. Like we were actually happening. When in actuality we weren’t and never will be.” 
That was a punch to your gut so hard that your body viscerally reacted to his words and hunched over slightly. You can’t believe what you’re hearing. 
This can’t be the Jisung that you were friends with for so long. No, he would never say something so outright. 
It’s as if he hasn’t even registered what he just said because his face is that of worry as to why you are stunned silent. 
“Jisung,” he winces at the use of his full name. “What did you expect to happen between us? Be honest, don’t say that you don’t know.” You speak gently. 
He thinks for a moment, his hand slipping from your arm as he uses it to fiddle with the zipper of his jacket.
“I just expected for us to play around and not take it to the next step. I just wanted a bit of fun with my best friend. That’s not so bad is it?” He confesses, looking at his feet. 
The knife is pushed deeper. 
You honestly aren’t sure how to react. What to say or even do. So you sit in silence. 
Minutes go by and all you can hear are the hum of the electronics in the room and the breathing of Jisung. He always has been a loud breather. 
A clearing of the throat pulls you out of your trance. 
“Please say something, anything.” He pleads. You slowly turn your face towards him. 
“What would you like me to say Jisung? I have just found out that my best friend—you—has been using me for shits and giggles and being a total ignorant asshole while he does so.” You retort. 
He shakes his head as he frowns at your words. 
“No, no I’m not the bad guy here. I didn’t use you just for that. Why would I do that Y/n? You mean more to me than that.” He runs his hand through his brown locks, getting frustrated. “Look, I don’t think we should blow this too much out of proportion. We did something that we shouldn’t have and now we just have to move on.” He says. 
“You don’t mean that.” 
“You’re my best friend Y/n. You know me inside and out. Maybe I haven’t been so transparent with you lately. I just think that I need to figure out some stuff on my own because clearly everything I say is hurting you and I hate the way I hurt you. Fuck, just seeing your face now, knowing I was the cause. I can’t do this. Not anymore.” He says solemnly. 
You blink. The tears trickle down your cheeks as you take into account what he is saying. 
No. This isn’t your Jisung. Just give him some time and he’ll be back. He’ll come back. 
“What are you saying to me Ji?” He places a hand on your cheek before standing up and putting on his shoes. 
You immediately get up and follow him to the front door. 
“Jisung.” You whisper. He opens the door and steps out, stopping and turning to you once more. 
“I’m always gonna be in your corner Y/n. Okay? Always.” Jisung says as he smiles sadly at you and turns away from your door. 
Watching him leave feels like the knife is twisting uncontrollably. You shut your door, not wanting to see him in case you’ll do something stupid like run and stop him from walking out of your life. 
You’re angry, you’re hurt, you’re confused. You’re in a state of shock. Was that a goodbye? Will you ever see him again?
You cover your mouth with your hand as you sob quietly as reality sets in. You had just lost the man you had fallen for, your best friend. 
You aren’t sure if he is ever coming back. 
felix | 1.0k (1077) words
The sun is setting and you find yourself in the familiar skatepark which you and Felix frequently visit to hang out. 
This was a first, you getting here before him. It felt uncanny, especially since the skatepark is an empty void. It’s not like you’re here at the late hours of the night which is what you guys usually do, so where are the people?
As you sit atop the ramp wondering this, Felix climbs up and sits next to you. 
“Hey Y/n.” He greets. No remark about you being here before him for a change. You face him and greet him with a small smile. 
“The sky is pretty this evening. Any particular reason for why you wanted to meet at our spot earlier than usual?” He asks you. 
“I knew the sky would be worth seeing from here today. I also wanted to be able to see your face when you lie.” You deadpan. 
He audibly swallows at this which makes you chuckle and start to swing your feet. 
“I’m kidding. Just wanted to watch the sun go down.” You tease. 
It’s silent, bar the birds chirping and the rustle of the leaves as the wind dances through the trees. 
“So about what happened with us,” Felix starts. “You think that we are more than just best friends?” He asks. You hum in acknowledgement. 
“I thought we were more than best friends for a while. You know, since this whole shebang started. The sex was just what I thought was you being ready to take our relationship further. Though that was foolish of me to think and not double check with you.”
Felix, now turnt to face towards the sunset, is quiet as he takes into consideration what you have just said. 
“It wasn’t foolish.” He says ever so quietly. 
Your legs still their movement as you turn to look at him. His face is being kissed nicely by the sun right now, his freckles practically glowing. 
“Of course it was foolish Felix. Or else we wouldn’t be here now.” You smile as you tip your head back and close your eyes, letting the last of the sun’s warmth seep through your skin. 
“No. It wasn’t foolish because I was ready. Okay that’s not entirely true, I caught feelings months ago but I only became sure about them during that week I was away.” He softly speaks. 
You drop your head and look towards him. His eyes are still glued to the vast blanket of orange and yellow across the horizon. 
“But that’s not what you said in those text messages. You said that you think that boundary shouldn’t have been crossed in the first place. Yet now you’re saying this? Forgive me Felix, but I’m finding it hard to believe what’s coming out of your mouth.” You sigh.  
He finally turns and looks at you, a small scowl on his face. 
“I know what I said in the texts Y/n. I don’t go back on my word. I do think a boundary was crossed and as best friends it shouldn’t have been.” A beat. “Though that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel something towards you. That’s why I’m so confused.” He turns his head back towards the sky, the deep shade of blue starting to make itself evident. 
“Like I said, I didn’t expect to catch feelings for you and then have sex with you.” He finishes. 
You lay down, watching the dark grey clouds move. 
“Do you remember much of that night?” You ask. 
“Of course I do. How could I ever forget. I mean we are literally sitting on the ramp that it happened on.” He reminisced. 
“Remember when I told you that I was yours and you were mine? That was probably said in the heat of the moment, but I meant it Felix. I’m not the kind of person who says things for the sake of saying them. Plus, I’m not focused on anybody other than you.” You say, closing your eyes again as the cool air brushes against your face. 
Though your eyes are closed, you sense that Felix was staring at you. You hear his clothes rustle before you’re wrapped up in his arms. 
He is cuddling you. 
“Doll, I’m sorry. I didn’t just say those things because we were high off oxytocin. You really mean so much to me. I don't want us to argue, I just want us to be together. For real. No hesitations, no take backs. Just you and me living how we do, but together as one.”
You can feel something wet drip into the crook of your neck. You know it’s not raining so you figure he has started to cry. 
“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings Y/n. It’s not what I wish to ever do to the person I love.” He sobs. 
You open your eyes as you hear his admittance. The person he loves. The person he loves. 
“You love me?”
“I’m in love with you. I was trying to make sense of if I truly meant it over that week and I reacted like I did earlier because I know you didn’t love me back. I was embarrassed.” He confessed. 
You turn over in his arms as you grab ahold of his face. It’s dark now, but a nearby light creates a twinkle in his eyes. 
“I want you to be sure that this is what you want. You don’t have to promise me forever, but promise me that this is truly what you want until it isn’t.” You say gently. 
His bottom lip wobbles slightly as he takes a deep breath in then out. 
“I am sure. I promise. I love you, I’m in love with you. I want us to be best friends. I want us to be lovers. I want it all. I want you.” He whispers against your lips. 
You smile, wiping his tears away with your thumb. 
“Okay, me too. We’re locked in?” You hold up your pinky. 
“We’re locked in.” He connects his pinky with yours and pulls your face in to kiss you softly. 
The two of you lay there in each other’s arms for the rest of that evening until a security guard ushered the two of you away. 
As you walk hand in hand down the street, you’re just glad that you have this ball of sunshine all to yourself. For as long as time allows. 
seungmin | 1.5k (1518) words 
You were nervous. More nervous than you expected yourself to get. Which is probably how you find yourself scrambling to get your phone, sending Seungmin a message to say that you don’t want to meet up and would rather just call. 
His reply after reading your message was to immediately dial you up, leaving no time for you to think about what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it. 
You answer the phone with baited breath. 
“Why didn’t you want to meet me? You nervous or something?” He says very straightforwardly. 
Yes. 
“No. Just realised that I have things to do and I can multitask if I speak with you over the phone.” You lie. 
You hear him sigh on the other side of the line. 
“I’d rather you weren’t multitasking whilst we are having an important conversation about us. Pay attention.”
Your jaw clenches as you bite your tongue. 
“Fine. Since you want to be such an adult about this, why don’t you do us the honour and start us off?” You quip. 
“You already know how I feel about that night. About us blurring those lines between friendship and something more. We shouldn’t have. Having said that, I value our friendship too much to let something like that fuck it up.” Seungmin says plainly. 
You roll your eyes, not understanding what exactly he means by that. 
“Okay…but you do realise that us sleeping together has changed everything, right?” You say unwavering in your tone. 
“Wrong.”
You waited for him to finish what you hoped would be a longer sentence, but all you could hear was the minor feedback from the other end of the line. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you try again. 
“What do you mean, wrong? Things can’t go back to normal after that night, shit, after everything that’s happened between us.” You exclaim. 
“And I’m not saying they have to—”
“You are absolutely not still using me as a way to blow your load Seungmin.” You interrupt harshly. 
You hear him groan on the other end of the phone to which you decide to put him on speakerphone and place him on your bed. You wipe your face with your hands in frustration as you wait for him to speak. 
“I’m not going to do this with you if you’re going to be angry for starters. Especially if you’re going to be interrupting me. Got it?” He asserts. 
You release a huff of air, choosing to stay quiet in regards to what he has just said, but you reluctantly agree. 
“Fine, sorry. Carry on.” You say as nicely as you can muster up. 
“What I’m saying is I care about you Y/n. I don’t think it’s fair that people have also been feeding you troubles about our friendship. It’s between us and not them. They don’t know what the fuck is going on and I’ll be getting on their asses for that later, but right now my focus is on you.” He explains. 
You stay quiet, noting the fact that he is now outside and walking. 
“Seungmin, you can’t seriously fault our friends for noticing something you were determined to ignore. We were doing things couples do!”
“But we aren’t a couple. That is what I’m trying to get at Y/n.” He says exasperated. You hear a police siren go by on his end of the line which muffles the last part of his sentence. 
“Then why even do all that with me? Of course I was going to catch feelings. I’d be stupid not to!” You exclaim, resting your head in your hands. 
He’s quiet. The only sounds to be heard is the distorted traffic. You sit there unmoving, wondering why he isn’t speaking. 
A loud series of knocks on your door jolt you out of your trance. 
“One second, someone is at my door.” You alert Seungmin. Putting on your slippers, you rush to the door. You open it and you feel your face run cold. 
Seungmin huddles over, catching his breath before he makes a show to end the call between the two of you. 
“I am not having this conversation with you over a fucking phone.” He pants. 
He lets himself in, your mind still boggled at the fact that he chose to fast walk over here just to have this conversation. You’re both touched and terrified. Touched because he seems to really care about talking about your relationship in person. Terrified because this is getting much more serious than you thought it was. 
It’s times like these where you wish you and Seungmin hadn’t planned to live so close together. Now you have no choice but to face him in the flesh. 
In the time that you were finally able to come to your senses and shut your front door, Seungmin had taken off his shoes and jacket and was standing behind you waiting. 
He grabs ahold of your hand and leads you to your own bedroom. 
“Seungmin, I don't want to have angry sex with you.” You blurt out. You could’ve sworn you heard him chuckle, but he’s already sitting you on the edge of your bed. 
He places his hands on your shoulders and imitates taking a deep breath in and out. 
“No, that is not what I’m here to do.” He crawls up to the top of your bed and sits resting against the headboard. “I am here to make amends and stop what shouldn’t have started in the first place.” He says calmly. 
You have to hold your stomach to try and soothe the impending vomit that is about to ascend up and out of your mouth. 
“I’m gonna be honest with you Seungmin. What you did, knowing you never wanted it to happen or go this far, was not cool. I’m not saying you’re to blame for the whole of it…but as someone who was catching feelings and seemingly thought you were as well, I genuinely thought that us continuing to be intimate with each other was because you liked me.” You finish. 
As you sit crossed-legged at the foot of the bed and Seungmin sits at the head, you start to feel this strange disconnect between the two of you. 
Seungmin sits there silent, clearly thinking of something to say in response. 
“I…I think I didn’t stop it because it felt good.” He says. 
“Good because it was us or good because you had someone to calm your sexual frustrations?” You ask. 
The way he hesitates to answer and hold eye contact with you tells you everything you need to know. 
You let out a scoff, getting up from your bed and starting to pace laps in your room. 
“I cannot believe this. You were the last person who I thought would do this to me.” You say, pointing an accusatory finger at him. 
“Y/n you know I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I-I care about you!” He says now getting up from the bed. 
He goes to reach out and grasp your arm but you step out of his way, causing him to stumble slightly. 
Not only are you fighting your tears, but you are battling your inner turmoil. Something like this would deem him unfit to stay in your life, no?
You couldn’t possibly still be his closest friend if he truly just used you for pleasure, right?
“Y/n please look at me.” He says, his hands now balling up besides his legs. 
“I can’t do this anymore. I want you to leave.” You speak barely above a whisper. 
“What?”
“I want. You. To leave.” Your voice cracks slightly, but you turn around to face him. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open, as if he isn’t quite sure that this is what you mean. 
Taking the initiative, you walk out of your bedroom and to your front door. You hear his footsteps behind you, murmuring a few ‘waits’ and ‘calm downs’. Grabbing his jacket, you shove it in his chest and step back. 
Your arms are wrapped around yourself for comfort as you keep your head held low. 
Seungmin silently puts on his jacket and shoes and reaches for the door handle. Yet, as he is about to open the door, he pauses midway through his movement. 
“Leave your house or leave you forever?” He says disconcertingly. 
You lift your head up, his back facing you. You assess him for only a moment. His hand that strangles the door handle shakes slightly and his other hand grasps his jacket. 
“Both.” You choke. 
He doesn’t miss a beat. Swinging open the door and leaving without looking back. 
Just like that, all those years of friendship cut abruptly due to the confounding circumstances that conspired between the two of you. 
Some could say it was rather quixotic of you to expect that you could actually have a relationship with Seungmin. 
Though you would just say that perhaps falling in love with your best friend was never the right path, but one you were unfortunate enough to take. 
i.n | 1.2k (1257) words
You can’t control the way you feel. You’re hurt. You’re beyond angry. You’re hysterical. How dare he talk to you like that? How dare he disregard everything the two of you have been through because he wants to stay your ‘best friend’?
You well and truly can’t promise that you won’t blow up on him when he gets here. That’s if he even bothers to show up. He’s already twenty minutes late and you’re sitting in the cold, on a park bench, drinking your hot chocolate.
“Y/n!” Jeongin calls out to you as he walks over to sit beside you on the bench.
“Where’s mine?” He says, his voice laden with sarcasm as he points to your drink. He quirks his eyebrow at you as he assesses your mood and it certainly isn’t one accommodating his jokes at the moment. 
Breathe…breathe…
He turns to face you, one leg crossed beneath him as his arm rests on the back of the bench, his gloved fingers tapping a beat on your shoulder. 
“Are you feeling better now? You’re gonna talk this out with me like the adults we are, hm?” He smiles.
You turn to face him, unable to mask your ire. 
“Just best friends huh?” You speak for the first time in a while. 
Jeongin stops tapping your shoulder to run his fingers through his hair. Tugging his coat closer around him to provide some sort of warmth to not only protect himself from the bitter chill of the air, but the icy look in your eyes.
“I admit, crossing those lines with you was never my intention. Being that I didn’t kiss or sleep with you because I wanted a relationship with you. I guess I was just lonely, you were available…tensions were high and we couldn’t control ourselves.”
You actually feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. This is not the Jeongin you knew and loved as your best friend. No, he was far nicer than what you’re currently faced with.
You are rendered speechless. The only thing you can think to do is take another sip of your hot chocolate.
It would be ideal if your hands stopped shaking.
“You get where I’m coming from though right? Like I said, I care for you. More than anybody else I know, but what we did was a mistake and that’s okay. We’ll know to never let those boundaries be crossed again alright?” He says placing a hand on your thigh.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Y/n–”
“Jeongin get your hand off of me, now.”
The smile that you used to adore, now falls from his face. His lips thinning as his jaw clenches and his gaze hardens.
“I genuinely thought that you had reason to be so pissy at me, you know, due to your work being so busy and all,” You laugh bitterly. “But you really are just a fucking asshole.”
He rolls his eyes and moves to get up before your hand reaches out to stop him.
“Sit the fuck down, I’m not done with you. I’m only going to say it once.” You say acrimoniously. 
Heeding your warning, he sits back down, his hands finding solace in his lap. 
“See, I was speaking with Hyunjin when you were supposedly too busy to talk to me and he gave me some pretty good advice.” You say finishing the rest of your drink and setting it aside. 
“What are you doing asking him for advice? He has no business knowing what goes on between the two of us, let alone an argument.” He spits.
Ignoring his disapproval, you elect yourself to continue. 
“He said that you don’t deserve me in your life. That a best friend would never, should never treat me like that–”
“Oh bull-fucking-shit! He is only saying that so that he can gets his filthy hands on you himself.” He interrupts, shaking his head as he looks beyond the lake at the horizon.
“I agree.” 
Jeongin nods his head in approval to your words. 
“You don’t deserve me in your life.”
His head snaps to yours as he sits up straight, clasping his hands together as he tilts his head.
“What?”
“I am not your little fucktoy for you to use whenever you get sick of your hand. I’m not the easy option because I’m the closest you can get to getting off without people catching on. You know because we’re best friends, right? No one will suspect a thing, right?”
You have started, gone past the point of no return as you lay into him and rightfully so. 
“I thought you had calmed down from earlier? What, did you discuss with Hyunjin all of the things to say to me before I got here? The fuck does he know? He doesn’t even know you like I do!” He exclaims, his voice raising in pitch. 
You gawk, unable to believe how he just bypassed what you said to talk shit about his friend. 
“This isn’t about Hyunjin for fuck’s sake! This is about us! Or rather the lack of.” You stand up, taking deep breaths as you pace in front of him back and forth. “You keep talking to me like I’m some fucking child. Like I can’t comprehend the words that are coming out of my mouth.”
You stop in front of him, sighing. 
“I don’t want to be in your life anymore. I’m done.”
His eyes widen as he grasps ahold of your hands, his thumbs rubbing over your knuckles.
“You don’t mean that. You’re just angry. You want me to apologise? Okay sure. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have used you like that and let it get that far knowing I wasn’t ready for a relationship.” He begs. 
You feel your eyes start to well up with tears. This isn’t how you imagined a six year friendship to end, but alas, here the two of you are. 
He stands now, moving his hands to cup your cheeks, his eyes darting between yours. 
“Come on. Let’s not act rash now Y/n. It was a mistake.” He keeps trying to reassure you. 
You shake his hands off of your face as you take a step back. 
“It wasn’t a mistake for me. It never was and never will be because I didn’t just see you as someone who was available. I’m serious, I won’t be treated like shit. Not anymore and certainly not by you.” You affirm. 
He lets his hands fall to his sides, his fists clenching. 
“So this is it huh? You really wanna leave me, leave six years of friendship because you got your feelings hurt?” He asks. 
“Fuck you, Jeongin. Don’t contact me ever again. I’m finished.” You say scoffing a laugh. 
You pick up your empty cup and start to walk away, not bothering to turn back to see how he reacts. Only then do you let the tears run marathons down your face. 
Little did you know, his fists unclenched and his hands were brought to his face. He collapses onto the bench, watching your figure get smaller and smaller until he can no longer see you. 
It was in that moment, where Jeongin only just realised how royally he had fucked up. His head falls into his hands as he takes deep breaths. 
The smoke caused from the cold air and the warmth of his mouth floating along the sky. Much like you, floating out of his life and disappearing. Lost to the abyss of a forever memory in his heart. 
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a/n: the plate is still full i fear because why do i hate this so much AHSGAIA SGAISBSKSVG (i apologise. i said i would deliver, but the package got lost in transit)
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fadingdaggerr · 3 months
Note
hey! I just wanted to see if I could request a Melissa x Reader fic where basically r is a teacher at the school and her best friend is ava, and r has the fattest crush on melissa ever but the only ones who know are ava, barbra, and mr johnson (bc dude knows everything)
and ava and barbra are trying to be wingman because melissa likes r. so just a bunch of mutual pining and fluff. and when they confess it’s snowing.
if you can’t do that that’s totally fine! but if you do thanks in advance and take your time
as you ever were
pairing: melissa schemmenti x gn!reader
summary: request above | 8k
includes: mutual pining, ava and barb meddling, kinda dialogue heavy oops, these bitches Oblivious, author is a classics nerd
warnings: (minimal) they/them pronoun use for R, sexual innuendos, (brief) alcohol consumption, kissing/light making out
note: sorry i took so long getting to this req. school started up and work is genuinely insane. plus i got a little too into writing this so editing too a little while. i actually really like how this turned out :)
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Unforecasted frozen rain forced recess to be inside, everyone was to just stick to their classroom since there was no time to prepare the gymnasium for indoor recess on such short notice. The kids spent the first five minutes of recess begging you to go outside, to which you open the window, to which Sean says oh, hell no, resulting in a scolding from you.
Within five more minutes, your teacher-senses begin to tingle. Something is wrong. Looking up from your record book, you glance around the classroom until your eyes land on Karam. The seven year old had just moved to Philly with his parents a few weeks ago, and with this being his first week at a new school, he has been understandably frazzled. The boy is facing towards your desk, away from his classmates, sitting on a beanbag chair and crying to himself.
Immediately, you rise out of your chair and approach him gently, lowering yourself to sit criss-cross in front of him. “Hey, Karam. What’s going on?” you ask calmly, not trying to draw attention to his state nor baby him. The only response you get is a shake of the head, so you ask, “would you like some alone time right here?” Another shake of the head, another question, “do you want to talk alone, just you and me? You can bring Pickle.”
This offer seems to appease him, he instantly stands and goes to his backpack to grab his beloved stuffed sea lion. You get to the doorway and keep your hand on his shoulder where he stands just out of sight of the other kids, hoping no one will see him and decide to get nosy.
“Okay, chickens. I’m going to run across the hall very quickly, keep doing what you’re doing. Ashante, honey, you’re in charge,” you say with a little grin, it becomes a full smile when the girl salutes you.
Once you’re in the hall, Karam grabs your hand tightly with big tears ready to fall, and stays close as you cross diagonally to some of your students' previous second grade classroom. You lean into the doorway, still keeping Karam out of sight of others, and knock to gain a certain redhead’s attention. She’s quick to get to you, seeing a sort of urgency on your face.
“What’s up?”
“Can you watch my class, please? I’ve got a situation here,” you tip your head to the side to gesture to Karam, still gripping your hand and sniffling. “I promise I’ll pay you back somehow, lunch, lunch duty, recess duty, whatever. Just, please?”
Melissa takes one look at you pleading eyes and knows she can’t say no to you, especially not with a sad little friend by your side. “You owe me nothing. I’ll bring the kids to my room and you can come get ‘em after,” she says with a tone she hopes shows she’s being genuine.
“Thank you, thank you so much,” you rush out, immediately your attention falling back to the tears rolling down Karam’s cheeks. Melissa scoots over to your room, corralling the kids across the hall with an excited tone to keep their eyes on her and not you and their classmate.
With the extra bodies in the room, Melissa finds that the doorway was a good place to observe all the kids in her room. Though she tries to keep her eagle eyes on the students, they slowly slide to your form in the hall, crouched down below the boy’s eye level with his hand in yours. Her ears feel like a radio, tuning into the hushed volume you keep.
“It’s okay to be sad, buddy. Everything and everyone is so new, you’re allowed to be scared,” you say as you wipe his cheeks with a tissue, “and you and I both know that baba and daddy would never bring you somewhere that wasn’t safe. And Pickle, he’s here for you, and so am I.”
The boy leans into you for a hug, and your arms wrap tightly around him. Melissa tries not to stare, but she’s unable to take her eyes off the interaction. The way you rock him gently side to side, it was clear you weren’t letting go until he did. She vaguely remembers you mentioning that being a rule of yours when you first started at Abbott, when you took over her third grade class and her entire field of vision. 
Melissa averts her eyes back to the kids as the hug ends, but she still listens discreetly. You wipe Karam’s face as you speak, “let’s go get you some water, okay? And maybe, if you use those puppy eyes, nurse Makiah will let you pick out a lollipop. Does that sound like a deal?”
“Do we have to come back to recess?” The shyness in his voice makes you pout.
“Yes, because Miss Schemmenti was super nice to watch all our friends for me while we’re talking, and I’m sure she’d like her room back,” you peek up to Melissa quickly, “and when we get back, we’re gonna say a big ‘thank you,’ alright?”
“Yeah,” Karam answers quietly, but his next words are so quiet you barely hear them, “thank you.”
“Of course, chicken. Let’s go.” Melissa pretends she’s not watching you walk down the hall with a hand still in Karam’s, her eyes switch back to her class when you disappear around the corner.
When you return to get the kids from Melissa, she instead insists that you just sit out the rest of recess in her room since the students were already playing together. That’s the only reason, nothing else. You keep a cautious eye on Karam as he sits down to draw with one of Melissa’s students, and once you see him start to arrange his colors, you drift your attention to the woman next to you.
“Thank you, seriously. And I will be paying you back for this,” you say, bumping your shoulder with hers.
“I said you ain’t gotta do anyth-”
You cut her off, “I said. I’m. Paying. You. Back. Just accept it, I’m not budging.”
All she gives as an answer is a huff through her nose, but the smile that stretches her lips makes you feel fluttery. Her smile is not a rare sight, but it’s rare that you get to see it this close. When she faces away for only a couple seconds, you take the time to just take her in. Beautiful.
In the hall, a conversation between Barbara and Ava about clearing an extra bulletin board for the kindergarteners art projects was halted when they caught Melissa watching you with Karam. Both women looked at her, unseen even by Melissa’s typically sensitive attention, and all they saw was a soft putty of a woman. When you returned to the classroom, they slowly got closer to see what was going on, curiosity drawing them in.
All they could see were gentle, shy smiles and hidden glances of adoration for each other. It clicked in their minds at the same moment. Their best friends had it bad for each other.
Their plan was formed in a single glance.
—☽—
“So… What are you gonna do about Red?” Ava asks as she reaches the midpoint of her braid.
You’re sitting behind her on a cushion, parting a section in the back of her head to start on a braid yourself. Your focus makes your response time slower and quieter than usual, “what d’ya mean?”
Ava’s chuckles, “how you’ve got the hots for Schemmenti.”
Her obvious tone makes you stall, too long, but you try to deflect anyway, “I’ve got no clue what you mean.”
She laughs. Ava laughs and it would be in your face if she weren’t so busy with her hair. She doesn’t need to turn to know you’ve got that shocked expression on your face, the one where your eyes are wide and blank, face otherwise neutral, but she knows the expression well. The first time she’d seen it was the day she met you in seventh grade, and she proclaimed you her best friend to everyone in the cafeteria, just a mere three hours after meeting each other.
“Don’t lie to me, Gremlin,” she jokes, using her nickname for you she adopted from your favorite movie as a kid, “I know when you like someone, and you want that Italian sub to Italian dom you.”
“I hate you,” you groan, “if you mention even a single thing to her Ava, I will buy out all the caramel hair from the beauty supply and you’ll never see it again.” She gasps, as if it were a real threat you could carry out on your budget, but she knows how serious you are. With a roll of her eyes, Ava decides to hold off until you’re not braiding her hair to annoy you more.
Much later into the night and all there is really left to do is trim, seal, and add products to her roots, Ava knows she can’t let the topic of the previous conversation go. She decides to speak up while she trims the last few front pieces and you pick up the hair packaging and combs from around the room.
“Just saying though, if you stopped making ‘I wanna have your babies’ eyes, you could ask her out,” Ava tries to explain. She almost adds a what’s the worst that could happen? but she knows exactly where your mind will go.
“I don’t wanna ‘have her babies,’ you freak,” you sigh as you get some hot water, “I just… I dunno. I don’t want to ruin the friendship I have with her when she inevitably rejects me.”
She’s obsessed with you, she won’t reject you, Ava wants to say. Even if others, and even herself, would label her selfish, the one thing she doesn’t ever let slide is you letting your insecurity get the best of you. She likes her extra job as your personal hype-woman when you get in your head. Ava weighs her option, “well… you could put out some feelers. Invite her somewhere or, I don’t know, look her in the eye when you talk to her.”
“You’re right,” you say with a gruffness that she knows is defeat. If she can just get you and Melissa talking, interacting more, then maybe she and Barb can figure out a way to worm you two together.
“You do like her, don’t you?” She knows the answer, she wants you to say it though.
There’s a deep inhale before you answer, “of course I do. She- she’s so- I do like her, so much. Like, I want to bite a chunk out of the table when she looks at me.”
“Yeah, don’t do that, we don’t know where they’ve been,” Ava says with a touch of disgust, “and she’ll think you’re more of a freak than you already are.” She rightfully earns a smack on the shoulder at that one.
Dipping the ends of her hair into the hot water, you think silently. Ava has a point, if you spent even a tenth of the time you spend thinking about Melissa, when she was right in front of you, talking to her instead, you’d probably not be so nervous at the thought of making eye contact with her. Sometimes it was nice though, just getting to look at her, seeing her easy smile when she speaks to Barbara and the playful glint in her eye when she lovingly picks on Jacob. Whenever her attention falls on you, you shy away. Maybe Ava has a point.
At Barbara and Melissa’s weekly brunch that same Saturday morning, their conversation falls down a similar path.
Ever the professional deterrer, Melissa manages to push the conversation away from the topic of you, trying to keep Barb on Gerald or bible club. Usually her friend catches the hint to stay away from the topic, but there’s no way she was getting out of this one.
“So… are we gonna keep beating around the bush or are we going to talk about it?”
Melissa just sips her mimosa, suddenly interested in the painting across the room.
“Melissa.”
What… interesting brush strokes.
“Melissa Ann, so help me.”
She turns back, “yes, Barb?”
“Don’t ‘yes, Barb’ me. Spill,” there is no room for argument.
“There’s nothing to spill, Barb,” Melissa says, and she means it. It’s clear Barbara had picked up on her feelings for you, but nothing had been done to go past acknowledging she cared for you.
Barb tilts her head to the side, “oh, really? So, we’re just going to pretend that you’re not utterly infatuated with everyone’s new favorite third grade teacher?” Melissa stares at Barbara with wide eyes, thrown off by the blunt nature of her inquiry. Her friend only shakes her head, “for the good Lord’s sake, Melissa. Anyone with eyes can see you’ve got feelings for them, and I know you know that too.”
Green eyes shift away from brown, and they instead stare at the drink in front of her, nervous hands coming up to play with the umbrella to keep them busy instead of shaking in her lap. What Barb said wasn’t untrue, she knows it. Barbara Howard is always right in the end. But that isn’t where the apprehension in her gut stems from.
“Yeah, yeah. I know,” Melissa mumbles, insecurity from her mind reaching her throat.
Barbara can sense it and tries a softer approach, “I think I can say on good authority that the feelings are probably mutual. You could give it a shot, they’d be lucky to have you.”
“And what’s that good authority?”
“My eyes,” Barbara deadpans, her face reading are you serious?
The conversation stops there, more of a self preservation move for the kindergarten teacher. Underneath the silence from Melissa, it’s obvious her mind is going in circles trying to weigh her options. Did she have feelings for you? Yes. But would she do anything if she wasn’t one hundred percent certain you’d return her feelings? No. She was almost certain you didn’t, you rarely ever looked her in the eye and you got all quiet and mumbly when she spoke.
Conclusion: Barb’s nuts.
—☽—
When Monday comes back around, you feel like the air in the lounge, or at least around your table, is different. Barbara’s eyes keep shifting between you and Melissa in what she thinks are subtle glances, but the constant eyes on you start making you nervous. Shifting uncomfortably for a moment, you rise from your chair to go to the coffee pot to get away from the prying. While your back is to them, a different form of attention falls on you. Olive eyes scan over you with a soft glint, taking the opportunity to admire you when you’re not looking. Her attention feels different from Barb’s, you can feel it without seeing it. It’s warm, all consuming.
When you turn back around, you can see a section of Melissa’s hair swinging slightly from motion. She was looking at you, and she was hiding it horribly. Instead of mentioning it, you just sit and check your school email. In the weekly scheduling, you see that the recess duty that you typically had with Mrs. Benning from sixth grade, was now with Melissa for the entire week.
Your eyebrows jump slightly at the find, before you have to fight an eye roll at Ava’s obvious meddling. Seeing this, Melissa speaks up, “something interesting?”
“No, no,” you barely get out at a normal cadence, “just switches in the schedule, wasn’t expecting it.”
She nods slowly, “are you… not okay with that?” You try not to pout at the insecurity that bleeds just the smallest amount in her question.
“Of course I’m okay with it, no reason not to be,” you hope your genuineness was showing, “just different is all.” A muted smirk crosses her lips before she takes a sip of her coffee to cover her face, you pretend not to notice the move, as well as the butterflies swarming in your stomach. You turn your attention to your phone in your lap.
To AVA ♔ : you’re not slick
From AVA ♔ : good thing i wasn’t trying to be
From AVA ♔ : get up in that cannoli
To AVA ♔ : speaking privileges revoked until further notice
You try to not think about the prospect of an extra half hour with Melissa today, and for the rest of the week, but the thought of her crosses your mind and brings a smile to your face. When you are walking your kids back from music, you selfishly take the extra second you’re in the hall to glance towards Melissa’s classroom. Cursive letters on the board in her loopy handwriting being narrated by her expressive face and fast-moving hands. Another grin crosses your lips before you spin on your heel back to your room.
As lunch rolls around, there’s a giddy feeling in your chest that grows with every passing second. Was she even going to talk to you? Maybe not, but time with Melissa is time with Melissa. Just when you’re sliding your gloves on, there’s a tap at your door. Red hair tucked under an Eagles hat and thick black jacket, she’s never been more beautiful.
Winter at Abbott meant beautifully crafted snowmen that had just a touch of dirt on it, but the kids just decided it was freckles. Most of them were working together on their snowmen, while others were trying to see how long they could hang upside down on the monkey bars in their snow clothes. Melissa, after five minutes of churning the idea over in her mind, moves closer to you, the nylon of your jackets making a fssh sound as they brush together gently. The red on her cheeks was likely from the cold, but the darker shade that blossoms at you smiling and turning to her, that’s all you.
The silence between you is easy, for once it doesn’t make Melissa skeptical. It’s comforting, no nervous rambling or awkward attempts to fill the silence, just peaceful silence as your shoulder moves closer to hers.
Tuesday is just the same, with Melissa coming to your classroom to pick you up for recess duty. Wednesday you meet her in your doorway. The peaceful silence is broken when you check your phone to see copious texts in the teacher group chat, most of which are Janine and Jacob and only two are Gregory. All you let out is a little hum.
“What’s going on?” Melissa asks from beside you, her eyes staying on Marcus attempting to climb on top of the monkey bars.
“Groupchat’s going crazy. Janine and Jacob want a ‘teacher’s night out plus Ava,’ and they’re asking if everyone’s good to go next Friday at seven,” your tone suggests a bit of disinterest, but if Melissa goes, you could be easily persuaded.
Her brows scrunch for only a half second before asking, “what bar?”
“The Penman’s Alcove? Guess Jacob suggested it,” you say after scrolling through the nearly forty messages.
“Sounds like Jacob suggested it,” she says with a sputtered laugh. To her delight, you chuckle from beside her, and she brings her full attention to you, “you going?”
You bite your inner lip and flick your eyes to the side, “maybe. Are you?”
“Maybe.”
—☽—
Ava, who always demands you pick her up when you go out, insists on driving to the bar. When she gets to your apartment and does a once over of your jeans and loose-fitting sweater, she gives you a face of disapproval.
“That is not club attire. What ladies are you going to pick up if you’re dressed like a grandma?”
You roll your eyes as you move to let her in, “it’s not a club, it’s a bar. That Jacob picked out. And I’m not trying to ‘pick up’ ladies?”
“Aw, you’re already committed to Schemmenti. Cute,” her laugh at her own comment is cut off by the pillow you whip at her head, another ready if she pipes up again, “no need to get violent, I’ll stop.”
Her only reply is a huff as you grab your boots and shove in your fluffy-socked feet. Ava rises off the couch, leaving the pillow-turned-missile behind. When she’d asked you earlier in the day if ‘your woman’ was coming to the bar, you’d only shrugged, but with a quick text to Barbara, Ava knew the redhead would be there.
Barbara and Ava had made a pact, that despite their differing reasons for not wanting to go, would only attend the outing to insure that you and Melissa would both go as well. It had taken some convincing on Melissa’s end, but the moment her best friend said your name, her tune changed. She agreed to go as long as she drove herself there, so that when she wanted to inevitably leave early, she could.
As Ava pulls into the parking lot of the bar, neither of you hold back the rolling of your eyes. It was very Jacob. You share a look with your best friend, silently asking what did we agree to?
The Penman’s Alcove is tiny, shoved into one of the smallest brick buildings either of you had ever seen. One window was completely blocked off by a decorative book display, the other gave view to the wooden bar top and wooden support beam that was turned into a cylindrical bookcase with lights weaving around it. What is lacking in space, it clearly made up for in atmosphere.
“You both came!” Jacob’s voice echoes from the door to where you and Ava stand as you evaluate the building. You immediately elbow Ava to stop the joke that you could feel on the tip of her tongue. 
“Said I would, didn’t I?” you asked as you got closer, appreciating how Jacob switched his arms from the instinctive hug he wanted to give to giving you a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Anyone else here yet?”
“Well, Janine, Gregory, me, duh, Barbara, and Melissa just got here, so,” his voice becomes a little sheepish, “you’re the last ones here.”
“Fashionably late,” you and Ava say at the same time, though your tone is more flat since you only said it because you knew she would.
Walking into the bar, the small space didn’t feel bigger, just smaller as you realized just how many shelves of countless books there were. The twenty person capacity limit was starting to make sense as you quickly side stepped around other people to keep up with Jacob. Everyone comes into view, but as green eyes meet yours, cameo light surrounds her and she’s all you can see. The stutter in your step is noticed by no one but Ava, who subtly grabs your arm to pull you closer to everyone, closer to Melissa.
Greetings and small talk fill the space, but all of it is background noise. When Janine finally releases you from her energetic retelling of the four hours it’s been since she last saw you, your attention is finally able to rest on the woman who it had been dying to be on. Melissa sees your eyes flick around until they find her, and she curses how her heart flutters at the way you move towards her in an instant.
Leaning your arms on the bartop, you lean over slightly to order a rum and coke before turning entirely towards the redhead. Even though it had been barely four hours since you’d seen her, you felt yourself missing her. Her eyes, her hair, her laugh, especially the one she barks out when she can’t control herself and laughs suddenly. Something in the navy shirt she wore instead of her bright greens and pinks told you she wanted to fit into the environment, like she didn’t want anyone to see her in such a… Jacob place. Her attempt to keep attention away, yet for you it was impossible not to be drawn to her.
Just like every other time you saw her, your eyes quickly dipped to her neck, a tiny smile passing your lips at her Saint Dominic pendant she had received from her Nana before she’d passed. When you met her eyes, the small smile on your lips grew, and hers did to match.
“Thought you’d never show up,” Melissa says playfully, but with a quiet tone, her words only for you.
“Surprised you even showed,” you mimicked her tone.
Melissa weighs her options before replying, “Barbara told me I should, told me I can count it as my good act of the year.” She relishes in your silent laugh, little puffed breaths leaving you as you turn your face away from her just for a moment to hide. Melissa had realized three days into knowing you that this was her favorite thing, this quiet laugh of yours, she knew that when you turned away, it meant it was genuine.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” you say with earnest, “if that's any consolation.”
A smile plays on glossy, pink lips, “I’m glad I’m here, too.”
Two drinks later, and you found yourself meandering through the shelves of books, naturally being drawn to the fantasy section that was oddly close to the classics you also enjoyed. The small bar had reached capacity only a half hour after you’d arrived, and the bustling conversation was starting to pierce your eardrums. The cushions on the floor had become your new seat, in this almost-quiet corner.
The light vibrations of footsteps approaching brings your mind out of the dragon story you were falling into. Your eyes look up to see red hair contrasting against the shadows from the shelves. Melissa lowers herself carefully onto the cushion beside you, taking utmost care in not getting too far into your space. Her finger pokes the book in your hands, pushing it closer to you to read the cover, only a low hum leaving her throat.
She bumps her knee with yours, a silent you alright? She’s seen you get overwhelmed at assemblies and work parties before, often keeping an eye on you as you stuck to a corner, too polite to leave the room. You bump her knee back, a little smile on your lips, a quiet I’m okay. Melissa plays with the creases in her jeans as she tries to think of what to say, but you beat her to it.
“You know what’s fucked? You can’t even check out the books here,” you state with exasperation. “What’s the point of having all these books if you can only read them if you come here?”
Melissa warms with affection at your word, “No one would bring them back, hon.”
“I would,” you mumble with an incredulous tone in your voice, “but no, not even a checkout fee or, I don’t know, collateral.”
“Collateral!” Melissa laughs out. “Gonna hand over your watch to hold onto until you bring the book back?”
“I’d give them my car for those early editions of Mary Shelley’s work,” you half-joke as you nod towards the faded green and blue books. You look at Melissa for a moment, reading her face quickly before leaning into her space, “don’t even suggest stealing them.”
“Would they even notice?”
“These IPA-enjoyers? Definitely, unfortunately.”
Melissa never cared much for the classics, especially not the ones assigned to her in school. She preferred the historical fiction and true crime novels her grandfather introduced her to, but there was something intriguing about the ones you were showing her. There is peace in the way your fingers trace over the pages, a sort of reverence in how you hold each book. Sylvia Plath and Emily Brontë, Greek tragedies and comedies, they never sounded this interesting as they did when they came from your lips.
The world outside of this hidden corner continues to disappear around the two of you, the prying eyes peeking around the corner are completely lost on the two of you. Your eyes on the books, Melissa’s eyes on you. Ava and Barbara’s eyes, on the other hand, were flicking between the two of you before finding each other's eyes. A shared nod began the next step in their plan.
Ava, in a highly out of character fashion, quietly left the bar without saying anything to anyone, and drove off towards Iggy’s apartment. Barbara, pretending not to notice, went back to her conversation with Gregory regarding what he plans on growing in the garden for springtime. It’s Janine who notices Ava’s lacking presence, she peeks out into the parking lot, and sure enough, the silver car you’d arrived in was gone.
In a child-like fashion, Janine tugs on Barbara’s sleeve to gain her attention, “Ava’s gone.”
“What?” Barbara responds with faux surprise.
“Ava, she left. Like, gone. Not here,” without having to ask Barbara to be the one to tell you, Janine was definitely hinting at not being the one to say your best friend ditched you here.
The kindergarten teacher follows the maze of shelves, steps quickening as she gets closer to hushed voices in the furthest corner. In your own little, say you and Melissa, her legs stretched out as she leaned back against her hands while you sat close to her in criss-cross. There are two piles of older books in front of you, ones you had already shown her and the ones you were going to, and Melissa seemed completely unbothered by the infodumping you laid upon her.
Barbara politely clears her throat to make you aware of her presence, watching you nearly jumping away from Melissa as you realize the closeness between you. Pretending not to notice she speaks carefully, “dear, I just wanted to tell you that Ava left a couple of minutes ago.”
The nerves you felt dissipate, annoyance and a small anger taking its place, “what do you mean? She fully just left? Did she even say anything?”
“No, she must’ve snuck out. Janine noticed before the rest of us that she’d taken off,” Barbara is impressed by her own ability to fib so easily.
You close your eyes and take a deep breath, keeping yourself from exploding. You rise from your spot next to the redhead, who is quick to follow in your stride, and grab your phone to call you friend. Speedily stepping through the shelves, you step outside as you press Ava’s contact.
She picks up on the second ring, which only pisses you off further, “what’s up, boo?”
“Where the fuck are you? You did not just seriously ditch me,” you waste no time.
“That little library was not the vibe. Plus, you were too busy nerding it up with Red,” she jokes, almost mockingly.
“You were my ride, Ava,” you sigh, “this isn’t cool, especially when I’m going to have to ask Janine to drive me home since she carpooled with Jacob and Gregory.”
“I know who you can ask for a ride,” the laugh she speaks through only hammers home your aggravation, “maybe she’ll give you more than one.”
A hard groan escapes your throat, “you owe me big time, asshole.”
“Yeah, yeah. Thank me later,” she hangs up on you before you can respond, the beeping tone of the disconnection feels more mocking than your friend straight up laughing in your ear.
When you step back inside, your brows are furrowed, deep creases on your forehead as you practically steam with anger. Never before would Janine, Gregory, or Jacob say they were intimidated by you, but right now, they can’t deny that you are almost as frightening as Melissa’s angry walk. Barbara looks at Melissa pointedly, motioning with her head towards you to tell her to talk to you.
The redhead is already in motion, immediately in front of you, “what did she say?”
Sarcasm and irritation drop from your voice, “the ‘library’ wasn’t ‘her vibe,’ so she’s apparently ditching me to ride home with Gregory and the Chipmunks.”
She doesn’t want to laugh at your predicament, but she can’t help it. Her hand rises to rub your arm reassuringly, “I’ll drive you home.”
“You don’t ha-”
“I know I don’t have to, but I want to. Let me get you home,” the gentleness in her voice makes the icy anger in you melt into a puddle, the hand on your arm was grounding.
“Okay,” your voice just above a whisper in the space between you.
“Okay,” her tone matching yours as she smiles.
Melissa’s car is warm, her presence beside you warmer. With only a couple blocks left before you reach your apartment, you find yourself wishing you knew how to slow, or even stop, time. Would inviting her upstairs seem forward? Is asking her if she wants coffee better? No, stupid, who wants coffee at ten at night? All you need is to be around her.
When her car parks in the lot of your building, neither of you move, not you to get out or her to tell you to. You turn your face towards her, resting your chin on your shoulder, peering through your lashes at her. She matches your position, looking back at you with a little grin.
“Thank you for listening to me,” your voice is quiet and insecure.
Melissa leans a little closer, “thank you for letting me.”
“I’ll see you Monday?” You don’t want to leave, but despite it being Friday, it has also been a school day. You’re tired, and you can see in her slightly droopy eyes that she is too.
“Bright and early,” she answers, eyes flicking to your lips shortly in a way you wish you hadn’t seen. She makes it impossible to want to leave.
Melissa stays in her parking spot until you disappear into the building, not before you glance once more at her and wave shyly. Her head rests against the steering wheel as she struggles to compose herself, before pulling out on the street.
You both fall asleep that night to dreams about the secret corner you’d found yourselves in, books stacked around while your eyes stayed on each other.
—☽—
There’s a certain pep in your step come Monday morning, but a small amount of dread knowing you’ll have to face Ava later. She knew better to keep her distance over the weekend, but though your annoyance with her was fading, it was definitely there. You push into the lounge, immediately gravitating towards the coffeemaker.
You enjoy the hum of the TV, Jim Gardener’s voice coming from the speakers as you focus on Melissa in your periphery. Clicking steps in the hallway stiffen your back, all eyes in the room shifting to you as your best friend, boss, and ditcher enters. The cocky smile on her face falls when you stand and leave the room without a word.
“Seriously? Still mad?” Ava asks with such a genuine tone that Gregory’s head drops into his hands.
Melissa speaks before Ava can even blink, feeling like she had to defend you after seeing how upset you’d been, “so selfish you couldn’t even give a heads up? Some best friend you are, ditching them.” Ava only responds by raising her hands in defeat, giving up on an argument with Melissa before it starts.
“You checking on that one or should I?” Mr. Johnson asks from the doorway where he’s collecting the trash, his eyes set on Melissa. His answer is just the second grade teacher pointing at herself in question, surprised that he would’ve thought of her to check on you. His face screws up, “duh? Who else?”
She listens. When Melissa reaches your classroom, quickly carried by fast and angry steps, she sees you at your whiteboard, writing the agenda and date on it. The unusually harsh strokes of your writing show her exactly what mood she’s walking into. She almost jumps when she knocks on the door and your head whips her way, hard face softening.
“Hey,” you breathe out, going back to writing the afternoon’s schedule.
“Hey. I just wanted to check on you,” she she says as she slides the orange marker down towards you.
“I’m fine, really. I’m mostly just pissed Ava left me like that and thinks it’s hilarious. You’d think I would be used to it by now, but apparently not,” you huff, “just like her mom always says, Ava’s gonna Ava.”
“How long you giving her the silent treatment?”
“Till she actually apologizes and doesn’t just assume it’s all good, it’s the only way. I’m not even that mad about it, if she wanted to leave she could’ve just said,” you shift your weight from foot to foot, “it’s the principle of it.”
Melissa glances over your face, grateful you don’t seem to notice, and she realizes it's less anger, more disappointment. It’s so starkly different from the smile that played on your lips and the gleam in your eyes just the other night. She so badly wants that back, she craves your smile.
It took three days for Ava to finally apologize, and she only does when she comes over to your apartment, no interest in letting the other hear her grovel. She hadn’t meant to make you upset, she was just trying to get you and Melissa alone, and so far, her efforts seemed to be working. She was diligent to not let out that it was a joint plan between her and Barbara, and that Melissa was getting played just as much as you.
—☽—
A snow storm Thursday night almost takes out your power, and the chill seeps through the brick walls, forcing you to bed early in a bundle of blankets. You wake up to your phone ringing at five in the morning, only a half hour before your alarm was to go off. Seeing Ava’s contact worried you immediately.
“What?” you say through a yawn, “are you okay?”
“Aw, you love me,” she jokes through her own large yawn.
“I do. Now, what do you want?”
“It’s a snow day, bitch. The roads aren’t too bad, but apparently the buses are fucked.”
You sigh with contentment, “snow day means I’m going back to bed.”
“Okay, lazy. I’ll see you tomorrow for wine night?”
You can barely answer through another yawn, “yeah, yeah. I’ll be there.”
It’s not until ten that you wake up again, sunlight reflecting off the fresh snow and making your room too bright to stay asleep any longer. The air in the room is too cold for your taste, leaving you to wrap your throw blanket around yourself as you trudge out to your kitchen for the promise of warm coffee. As coffee drips into the pot, the star-printed throw is replaced by your favorite grey sweatshirt, the faded university logo still maintaining a touch of the maroon and silver it once was.
The second cup of coffee tastes of cinnamon and cream, the warmth keeping your hands from stiffening under the cold of your building. No matter how much you turned up the heat, the draft made it obsolete. As you pour a third cup, clinging to the warmth it gave, you feel your phone buzz in your Abbott sweatpants.
From Melissa: How busy are you today?
To Melissa: on a snow day? not at all. why? 
From Melissa: I’ve got a surprise for you.
To Melissa: should i be worried?
From Melissa: Do you trust me?
To Melissa: you know i do
When she doesn’t answer, anticipation starts to take hold. It hits you as you nervously sip your coffee, you’re still in your pajamas and Melissa is coming. You tumble down to your room, switching the sweatpants for an old pair of jeans, the faded sweatshirt for a thick black sweater, fluffy socks into slippers. Part of you grapples if you should make coffee for the both of you, the other part tells you a fourth cup may give you a heart attack upon seeing Melissa, your heart would never be able to take it.
A quiet ping from your phone alerts you that Melissa is down in the lot as she waits for you. You don’t even take a moment to answer, just quickly throwing on your denim jacket before hurrying down the steps to the bottom floor. Peeking your head out, you see the only car with lights on, the familiar black car making you smile. The snow had slowed overnight, wisps still quickly sticking to your hair and clothes.
Melissa doesn’t notice your approach, not until you tap on her frosted window with your knuckles, making her jump. She was lost in her mind, thinking about how bad of an idea it was, startling quickly at your tap, but quickly soothed by your smile and little wave. Melissa steps out of the car, leaning against it to keep you from peeking in her window and seeing the passenger seat.
“You really shouldn’t’ve driven, what if the roads were nasty?” you say with concern, despite the fact that you couldn’t be happier with her presence.
“They weren’t, I got here just fine,” she says, placating the worry.
You can’t even hide the smile that shows itself, “what sort of surprise was worth the black ice?”
“There was no black ice,” she laughs, shifting under your gaze, “but I hope it’s a surprise you’ll like.” There’s an unusual nervousness in her, one that you can’t help but feel and want to soothe.
“If it’s from you, I definitely will.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Try me,” you cock your head to the side, a sly smirk on your face. Melissa ducks her face, concealing her blush. She opens the door, leaning in to grab the bag from the seat. A deep breath leaves her lungs as she composes herself before facing you. The paper bag is stretched out towards you, green eyes begging you to relieve her of this weight.
You try to be careful, not wanting the gentle snow to touch the contents. Peering up at Melissa, she urges you to open it. You reach in and feel something, a cloth covered board you think, until you feel what you think are pages. A book? No, three.
You pull back your hand, the books coming with it. A faded green cover with black serif text reads Frankenstein, the blue reads The Short-Stories of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley: A Complete Collection, and the final red one, Mathilda. The books you had fawned over a week ago were now in your hands, the very same you said you’d give your car for. No words form, only thick tears in your eyes that you pray don’t fall. They were the exact same books, the copies from the bar, and now they’re in your hands.
You can only look at the redhead, absolutely bewildered. She gives you a weak smile, having a hard time gauging your reaction and you slide the books back into the bag to protect them. There’s no warning, not verbal or even a glint in your eye, before you fling yourself onto her, wrapping your arms around her neck.
“Thank you, oh my fucking God, thank you, thank you, what the fuck?” your words fall out of your mouth, barely able to contain the delight running through your veins.
Melissa doesn’t answer right away, only wrapping her arms around you and basking in the feeling of you there. You smell like coffee and cinnamon, she wishes she could find out if your lips taste the same. Neither of you move, not wanting to be the one who breaks away first.
After a minute, your face lifts from her neck, but you don’t remove yourself from her arms. She meets your gaze, watching you watch her. Melissa is the most beautiful person you’ll ever meet, you’re sure of it. But right here, right now? She’d never been more so, nothing else compared to the snow stuck to her lashes, the pink of her cheeks from the chilled air, the lack of makeup across her skin allowing you to see all her freckles and the lines around her eyes.
“You got me the books,” it's a simple sentence, but there’s a weight to it that Melissa almost can’t handle.
She smiles so softly it makes you want to cry, “you love them, you wanted them.” The look in your eyes changes, and Melissa seems to notice. She finally speaks up, “what’s wrong?”
“Nothing is, at least I hope not,” you answer truthfully.
“Why that look on your face then?” Her lips look so soft, you have to tell her.
You swallow your pride, pursing your lips before telling her the thought that had been on your mind since you met her, “I really want to kiss you.”
It appears she feels the same, Melissa immediately leans into you, lips pressing to yours. You knew they’d be soft, and God were they. Her hands plant themselves on your hips while yours cup her neck, pulling her as close as you possibly can. Spinning suddenly, you find yourself pressed against her car, cold metal freezing you through your layers, but warm lips make the cold feel little. For someone so abrasive, Melissa was so soft, holding you like you were the most precious thing to her. Her tongue licked at your bottom lip, asking for entry. And who are you to deny her?
Her tongue traces yours, a groan comes from deep in your chest that only spurs her on further. She presses impossibly closer to you, hands sliding up to hold you at your ribs, pressing into your jacket in an attempt to get closer. Your blunt nails dig into her neck, not enough to hurt, just to feel more of her. All you’ve wanted since you met her was to be this close, and it felt like an unreachable dream until now.
Her lips pull away, only to be chased by yours. You press gentle, chaste kisses to her lips, and it only becomes more difficult as matching dopey grins grow on your faces. Her hand rises to your cheek, caressing the chilled skin that warms under her touch.
She barely hears your words over her rapidly beating heart, “you’re so pretty.”
“Haven’t seen yourself then, huh?” she jokes, pretending your statement didn’t make her feel like a giggly teenager.
“Funny, but I mean it. You’re so pretty,” your hand shifts around her cup her jaw, “I can’t believe you got those books for me. How?”
She smirks to herself, “I just asked nicely.”
“Nicely? Did you bat your lashes and give them that award-winning smile?” The sarcasm that should have been there sounds more like adoration, the lazy smile on your lips making them look even more kissable than they’d been before.
“Exactly, they just handed them right over,” she feels like a pile of mush with you looking at her like this.
The hand on her jaw pulls her in closer, “they’d be stupid not to.” There’s no chance to reply, just your lips pressing to hers again. It feels as easy as breathing with you, like she was supposed to be doing this the whole time. When you pull away, it’s just barely, a silent request in the way you stroke her cheek.
Reluctantly, she pulls away from you to take her keys out of the ignition and grabs her purse from the floor of the car. An arm wraps around hers as you lead her towards the door to your building, the other tightly holds the books against your chest. It was too soon to say it, but you knew that right here, right now, you were utterly in love with Melissa Schemmenti. The woman who probably threatened the employees at the Penman’s Alcove for the books when they said she couldn’t buy them, the one who listened for two hours as you spoke about authors and books she’d never cared about before.
She cared now. She cared because you did.
Melissa knew the moment you saw the books, that she would do whatever it takes to see that wonder on your face again. She thinks to herself that endeavor would be a good way to spend the rest of her life.
title is from a quote from mary shelley’s frankenstein: “you are still, as you ever were, beyond beautiful expression.”
i chose the st. dominic for mel’s pendant bc hes typically worn by educators
feedback appreciated as always <3
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muchosbesitos · 7 months
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the other woman part 2
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pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader
warnings: cheating (once more, i do not condone nor endorse this🤨), bit of angst (?), and fluff
author’s note: finally 😱 sorry it took me so long to get it out lol, hope you all enjoy <33 (gave myself ptsd with the frijoles 😓)
word count: 4k
the other woman part one
You re-read the text message from Miguel over and over again until the words were basically imprinted in your brain, the constant reminder of what this relationship really was. It was just an exchange of pleasure, nothing more and nothing less. Though you'd sworn that you wouldn't engage in any of Miguel’s messages anymore, a part of you couldn't help but be curious as to why he wanted to come over now. You took a few deep breaths to calm your self down, your hands clammy as you typed out a response to his message.
You: ok. no hooking up though
Miguel: 👍🏽
About a half hour later, a loud knock was heard on your door, successfully waking you up from the tiny nap you'd taken. You rushed to clean up the empty ice cream container in front of you and wipe away some away some of the stickiness that was in the corner in your mouth. You opened up the door to see Miguel standing there with disheveled hair and his lab coat still on, probably just getting off from work. The two of you awkwardly looked at each other for a couple seconds before you motioned him to come in, opening the door.
He sat on the couch with his arms folded as he watched the tv show in front of him, not saying anything. You had half the mind to ask him what it was he came over for, but you decided just to wait it out and let him speak when he was ready. "So, Dana told me she confronted you at a coffee shop," he spoke up after a couple minutes, his eyes still focused on the tv. "She did, it was my fault though. I shouldn't have been staring at her for so long," you mumbled, still feeling that lingering embarrassment from your previous confrontation with her. He finally shifted his body to face yours, his hands crossed on his lap and he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but quickly clamped it shut.
"She and I are getting a divorce. She's known for a while now that I've been seeing you and she's been seeing someone else," he told you, your eyes widening a bit in confusion. He'd told you that they were on the path towards fixing things, that he wouldn't need your company anymore the last time he was in your bed, so this came as a complete curveball. "I'm sorry. I know you tried to keep your relationship intact," you offered, putting your hand on his arm to offer him some kind of comfort. He placed his arm on top of yours before he spoke again, "I didn't come here for your sympathy. I came here because.. I want you to be with me. No hiding and no illicit affairs."
You pulled your hand back from his, biting down on your bottom lip as you started to consider the possibility of actually being in a relationship with Miguel. You'd expected for this moment to make you feel better, that you'd be up in the air cheering from joy, but all you felt was doubt crawling up to the forefront of your mind. "Please say something," Miguel let out with a small sigh, his gaze on where his hand was holding yours.
“I don't want to be in a relationship with you, Miguel."
"Why? Is it because of Dana confronting you? We can work around that, I promise."
"No. It's just.. your daughter's just gonna see me as the person that fucked up her parents' relationship."
"Our relationship was fucked before you even came in the picture, chula. Me and Dana were planning on talking to her and explain the situation."
You nibbled on your bottom lip as you withheld the real reason that you didn't want to be involved with him, but you were snapped out of your thoughts when Miguel placed his hand on your shoulder. "Tell me what's stopping you from getting in a relationship with me and we can work it out. Or I can leave and give you some time to think about it," he told you, his eyes not breaking contact with yours as he spoke. "I don't trust you, Miguel. And that wasn't a problem when we were just sleeping together because I wasn't the one you were going home to. But now you're asking me to put trust and hope that you want to be in a relationship with me and I can't," you finally admitted, his face slightly falling as you spoke.
He stood up and brushed away some invisible wrinkles from his dress shirt, looking over at you. "I'm here asking you to be with me and you don't trust me?" He asked you, almost like you were in the wrong for even doubting him. "You cheated on Dana, who may I remind you, you were married to. So is the concept of me worrying about you cheating on me so outlandish?" You respond, standing up as you looked up at him. He let out a small sigh, placing his hand on your cheek before he dipped his head down to kiss your forehead. "I’ll gain your trust, okay?"
The next couple of months following that night, the rumors that Miguel was recently single began to surface around. Even though you'd taken the initiative to get some space away from him, your heart couldn't help but ache every time you saw one of his lab assistants throw themselves at him. You kept your head down and tried to avoid Miguel at the lab as much as possible, but you couldn't help but notice his lingering stares when you came in to check up on his work. You quickly took notice of his bare ring finger but you didn't let it get your hopes up, you felt like Miguel could easily replace you at any moment and that overpowered any feelings that you felt towards him.
You were dreading having to go to the company party this afternoon, but you decided on going regardless since it was a retirement party for one of your old mentors. The heels on your feet felt uncomfortable as soon as you put it on and the dress you were wearing felt too tight, like you couldn't breathe properly, but you eventually tried to calm down and headed to the Alchemax building. You could tell that the party was set up last minute by the way the streamers were just tossed around and the balloons had zero shape, but you found yourself enjoying the atmosphere regardless.
After congratulating Dr. Connors on his retirement, you sat down at one of the tables and drank the champagne that was being passed around by the caterers. Your eyes widened when you saw that Miguel arrived, wearing a black button down and black slacks that fit him perfectly. It was similar to his work attire, but you'd been avoiding him for so long that you forgot just how handsome he could really be. You gulped down the rest of your champagne and silently prayed to whatever entity there was above that he wouldn't approach you, you were certain that your heart couldn't handle it.
"Is this seat taken?" You looked up to see Miguel standing there, his arm on the top of the chair as he started pulling it back. "No," you responded simply, averting your gaze from him and you noticed that some of the other women at the party were staring at him. You looked through your peripheral to see that Miguel was already staring at you, one of his fingers coming to trail the lace of the dress you had on. "Why aren't you out there talking with your other co-workers? They've all been feening after they heard you were single," you turned to ask him, wanting to know his reasoning for being here with you. "Feening?" He asked, a small chuckle escaping from his lips as he looked at you. "And who told you I was single, chula? Even though we're not together, you're the one that owns my heart," he whispered, kissing your forehead before he walked away.
You felt your heartbeat in your ears after he left, completely speechless after what he said. One of the coworkers you frequented lunch with, Alison, walked over to talk to you but your mind couldn't help but race with thoughts about what Miguel had said. You were snapped out of your thoughts when Alison waved in front of your face, your eyes focusing on her once more. "Sorry about that," you muttered, rubbing the side of your neck awkwardly. "What's on your mind?" She asked, not bothering to keep up with the conversation about her research. You shared the details of what happened with Miguel without actually naming him, and you felt a sense of relief when she didn't show any judgement despite you acknowledging that you’d gotten with a married man.
"Well, obviously I don't condone cheating and I do agree with the point that you're making, that you'd be stupid to think that he wouldn't do the same thing to you. But it sounds like he's really willing to put in the work into working this out with you, and I mean you'll never really have a guarantee that he won't cheat but it's better to just try it out," she offered her bit of advice and you nodded, letting the words really sink in. You changed the subject back to her research, not wanting to think about your relationship problems with Miguel for one night, and you actually paid attention to what she was saying this time. The two of you ended up having a pleasant time talking but you couldn't help but notice that across the room, Miguel couldn't keep his eyes off you.
"Ew, dude. What the fuck?!" You exclaimed when you felt someone's saliva hit your arm while you were waiting for the valet to bring your car back. "Sorry about that," you heard the same intern from a couple weeks ago speak, a throaty laugh escaping from her lips. "Do you have a problem with me or something?" You turned around, your brows furrowing as you wiped away the residue. "My problem is that you think you're so much better than us because you got to bang Miguel, but the truth is that you're nothing but a miserable homewrecker," she scoffed, coughing into her arm afterwards. "Like you weren't throwing yourself at him just a couple weeks ago," you countered back, though a small part of you knew that she had a point. She got closer to you, her nostrils flaring and you could've sworn she had something else to say but someone came in between you two.
"That's enough, don't you think?" Miguel spoke, facing her as he blocked your body away from view. "But Mr. O’Hara, she started it. I would never stoop down to her level, I promise," she whined as you rolled your eyes, biting your tongue back. "Just so you have it clear, I will never be interested in you. Not now and not ever. And I don't want to hear you calling her a homewrecker again when you don't have all the facts," he responded, his back tense as he spoke to her. You heard her footsteps retreat and Miguel turned to look at you once she was out of sight, tilting your chin up so you'd look at him. "Don't let her get to you, okay?" He whispered, keeping eye contact with you. You nodded, feeling some butterflies in your stomach as you walked to your car.
You called in sick on Monday, waking up with a headache and fever, your body completely sore. You only got up from the bed when you heard a knock on your door, assuming that it was probably your Amazon package. "What are you doing here?" You asked, your nose sniffling a bit as you looked over at Miguel. "I heard about what happened. I came to bring you some stuff," he told you, holding up a Walgreens bag. You opened the door to let him in, grabbing a couple tissues on the way back to the couch. You grabbed some lysol from a kitchen drawer and began to spray the couch along with the area around you so you wouldn't infect Miguel.
"Vaporub?" You mumbled, holding up the small container as you looked up at him. “Look, say what you want but that thing seriously has some healing abilities," he responded seriously and you simply nodded, rubbing some on your chest. "I wasn't sure if you ate already or not so I brought you some chicken soup. There's also a couple cough syrups in there, I wasn't sure which one to get," he added, sitting down on the couch next to you. You looked over at him, noticing how nervous he looked to be around you once more. "How was work?" You asked, facing away from him as you coughed into your arm.
The two of you ended up watching the second season of Narcos on your couch, talking about work or talking about the show itself. "I’m sorry for trying to pressure you into being in a relationship with me right after I asked for a divorce from my ex-wife. I know why you have your doubts and I'm sorry that I didn't take those things into account," he told you, rubbing small circles on your thigh as the second season ended. You leaned your head against his shoulder, finding comfort in the embrace. Truth was, no matter how much you tried to deny your feelings for Miguel, you always found yourself coming back to feel the comfort that he could provide you with. "It's okay. I just wasn't expecting that after you told me that we'd be ending things."
Miguel’s movements on your thighs suddenly ceased and he turned to look at you, holding your chin up. "I know you're not exactly ready to be in a relationship with me and I can't really blame you for that. but I've been wondering, what if we take this slow? Like I'll take you out once you feel better and we can start getting to know more about each other than what we look like naked," he offered and you had to bite down on your lower lip to prevent yourself from smiling too hard. "I'd like that a lot," you responded, leaning into kiss his cheek before pulling away, remembering that you had a cold.
About a week later, your cold had completely faded away and you got a text from Miguel, telling you to keep your schedule open today. You couldn't help the large grin that appeared on your face at the prospect of finally going on a date with Miguel, at finally being able to be seen in public with him without any repercussions. Nothing could bring down your mood today, not even your bitchy coworkers spreading rumors or the dirty looks you received when you walked down the hall. You did your best to finish your work as soon as possible so you'd have enough time to shower and get ready.
You'd chosen to wear a simple black dress with some flats since you weren't completely sure where Miguel was taking you, not wanting to look too casual or too fancy. You practically ran over to the door when you heard a knock on your door, your eyes widening when you saw miguel and his daughter standing there. "Hola!" Gabriella told you and you could've sworn it was like looking at a replica of Miguel. "Hola chiquitina, how are you?" You smiled, opening the door and stepping back so they'd come in. Gabriella began to talk about her day at school and soccer practice, a small smile forming on your face at just how energetic she seemed to be.
Miguel tapped you on the shoulder, handing you a bouquet of flowers with a small smile on his face. "I hope you don't mind that I brought Gabi over. Her babysitter wasn't available and i thought it would be the perfect opportunity for you to get to know her," he told you, leaning over to kiss you on the cheek. "No worries, she seems like a lovely kid anyways," you responded, bringing the flowers up to your nose as a smile crossed your face. You went over to the kitchen to put them in a vase, setting them on the kitchen table when you felt a tug on your dress.
"Are you gonna be my new mami?" Gabriella asked, a toothy grin on her face as she looked up at you expectantly. You kneeled down to her level, holding her small hands in yours. "I'm not gonna be your new mommy, because you already have a mommy that loves you and cares for you very much. I have no intentions of replacing your mom, but I do have every intention of taking care of you and loving you," you responded honestly, brushing a loose strand of her hair back. The answer seemed to satisfy her since she pulled you into a tight hug, burying her face into you. "Thank you for being nice! A lot of the kids at school complain about their step-mommies being mean."
Miguel ended up taking you two to an arcade so you and Gabriella could have some fun together and have an opportunity to bond. "Papi! Can we have wings, please?" Gabriella asked when you all stepped inside, automatically running to the food court. "Tenemos frijoles en la casa, chiquitina," he protested but he didn't really sound like he meant it. (we have beans at home) "Papi, we've been eating frijoles for two days now. Let's take a break, pleaseee?" She asked him, putting on her best puppy eyes for him. "Yeah Miguel, pleaseee?" You asked, joining Gabriella and making puppy eyes. He let out a small groan, rubbing his temples before he let himself be taken to the food court. "You two combined is gonna be the death of me, I swear."
Though Miguel had been the one to protest the most against buying food, he'd been the one who ordered twelve wings and a large order of fries. "¿No que no querías?" Gabriella teased him, taking a large sip from her milkshake. (thought you didn’t want any) "Well, I couldn't leave you two eating alone, would be very rude of me," he responded as he took a bite from his fries, making Gabriella giggle. “Should've brought your frijoles in a tupperware," you added in as a joke, though his brows furrowed as he considered it. "Might have to do that for the movie theater next time. I swear, those prices are a scam," he muttered before he went back to eating.
The rest of the meal was spent between Gabriella sharing stories about her friends and how she made five goals at practice today and you trying to keep up with what she was telling you, hoping to score some brownie points with her. Miguel had a small smile on his face as he watched you interact with Gabriella, staying silent for most of the meal. "Is something wrong?" You asked Miguel when Gabriella ran off to get the tickets for the games you'd all be playing. "No, the opposite actually. It's so nice seeing you interact well with Gabriella. I was worried that she wouldn't like you but I think she felt reassured when you told her you weren't trying to replace Dana," he responded, holding your hand as he walked with you to where Gabriella was.
You groaned as you struggled to knock the bottles down, but you didn't want to give up out of your want for the huge Spider-Man plushie. Miguel placed a hand on your shoulder, telling you to step to the side before he handed his tickets to the man at the stand. He threw the balls at the bottles, his forearms flexing with every movement and you could've sworn you felt a bit of drool collecting at the side of your mouth. "Which one do you want?" He asked you after he effectively knocked down the bottles, the man at the stand practically seething at how easy it'd been for him. You pointed to the Spider-Man plushie, a big smile on your face as you held it close to your chest once he’d handed it over.
"Thank you," you told Miguel, standing on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek. "Anything to see you smile that way," he remarked, his words always having the ability to make you get flustered. The two of you headed to where Gabriella was at, joining her in the basketball game that she was playing. She let out a scoff after Miguel won, clearly pissed off. "It's not fair! You're basically a giant, papi!" She whined, looking up at him. "Don't be bitter, chiquita. I'll even let you keep the plushie if you behave," he responded, letting out a small chuckle. "Kid has a point, y'know?" You respond, letting out a laugh of your own. Miguel playfully rolled his eyes and bent down to tickle Gabriella, her giggles filling up the mostly empty arcade room.
The three of you went to try out a couple games and you teamed up with Gabriella after she'd asked you to. the two of you had lost against Miguel in the hockey game and he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as he saw the frowns on your faces. "What was unfair about this game, Gabi?" He asked her, his voice taking on a slightly teasing tone. "You're the only unfair part, papi. You're just too good," she grumbled, running off to go play whack a mole. You and Miguel headed towards the car games and even though he could hardly fit on the motorcycle, it was still an enjoyable activity for the both of you.
Miguel handed her the My Little Pony plushie that he'd claimed to get for himself after he won the basketball game, a bright smile on Gabriella’s face as you all walked out of the arcade. "Did you enjoy yourself, nena?" Miguel asked Gabriella, the kid practically beaming as she held the Pinkie Pie plushie. "I did, thank you for letting me meet your girlfriend papi," she replied, and you didn't have the heart to tell her that you weren't Miguel’s girlfriend yet so you stayed quiet. "Thanks for not telling her that we're not dating. She's been really understanding about the divorce but she doesn't quite grasp the concept of the talking stage," he spoke up after gabi fell asleep in the back seat, your eyes drifting from the window to him. "You don't have to thank me for doing the bare minimum, Miguel. I like your kid and i don't wanna see her upset," you assured him, holding his hand that wasn't on the steering wheel.
For the first time since you and Miguel had been intertwined with each other, he brought you over to his place. he carried a sleeping Gabriella inside, taking her with such ease to her room and you couldn't help but look around at the decorations. At the scattered books on the shelves, a combination of some peer-reviewed science journals and kid's stories. You felt like for the first time you'd caught a glimpse of who Miguel was behind that exterior that he put on and you wanted to learn as much as you could. He came back to the living room, wrapping his around your waist as he leaned his head in the crook of your neck. "Ready for bed, chula?"
Miguel didn't try to initiate anything sexual and neither did you, but that didn't stop the two of you from clashing tongues after you guys changed into your pajamas. You'd missed the way he tasted on your tongue, the way he kissed you like he was dying of thirst and you were the only source of water. The two of you eventually came to a stop when a knock was heard on the door, Gabriella standing there with her pinkie pie plushie. "Can I sleep with you guys?" She asked, rubbing her eyes since she was still half asleep. Miguel nodded, making some space in between you two to let her lay down. As you fell asleep that night with your arms wrapped around Gabriella, you couldn't help but feel grateful that Miguel and his little girl had welcomed you to be a part of their family.
@m4dyy @ginnysculture
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lowkeychenle · 10 months
Text
Like We Just Met [ZCL] (M)
Description: Everything else about the day is completely normal when Chenle realizes he wants to marry you. It hits him like a tidal wave, and he's itching to tell you just how much he wants to love you forever.
Genre: Fluff (literally SO MUCH FLUFF we love Chenle in this house go away if you don't) // Smut
Content Warnings: Explicit unprotected sex (it's actually sweet this time am I feeling okay), talks about marriage etc etc. Nothing really dark or upsetting in here.
Word Count: 11,292 (y'all I have no idea how this happened...)
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader (feat. the rest of the Dreamies)
ISTJ 7Dream Series Masterlist
Juliet's Masterlist | Requests/Tell me what you think of this plz <3
Tag List (open for ISTJ 7Dream Series): @kunvibing
Author's Note: Lowkey? This was so fun because it's from Chenle's POV...or it's supposed to be haha. This is probably my favorite fic I've ever written catch me crying in the corner...also this gif don't mind the real tears in my eyes
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Nobody questioned Renjun when he said he’d invited his friend to dance practice. They brought friends in every now and then, so it wasn’t anything new. Chenle was having a bit of an off day. He kept screwing up the choreography (that he’d done seven hundred times probably in the past week alone) and even accidentally elbowed Jaemin.
Renjun’s friend had yet to show up. Chenle was beyond frustrated with the way things were going, so he let everyone know he was taking a break. He grabbed his water bottle and stomped out of the practice room.
He ended up a bit down the hallway, resting his back on the wall with his eyes closed. All he needed was a break. That had to be it.
“Are you okay?” a soft voice asked.
When he looked at you, he recoiled a bit. He’d never seen you before—he’d definitely remember—but something about you felt familiar. Like a warm aura surrounded you and infiltrated him in the best ways.
“You’re Chenle, right?” You tilted your head at him. “I’m Renjun’s friend, (Y/N). I was supposed to watch practice, but I got lost. This building is pretty big.”
“Yeah, I’m Chenle.” He blinks at you a couple more times. “Um, we’re always in the same practice room. I’ll take you over there.”
“Actually, is there a place to get some water? I forgot mine at home.” You scratched the top of your head and scrunched up your nose. “It was really hot outside.”
“It’s on the way.” He gestured down the hall with his head.
You followed him without hesitation. He was acutely aware of every step you took, of how there was only a few feet between the two of you. Even though he had no clue what to say to you, you didn’t mind walking along in silence. It was unlike him to be shy. Next to impossible for him to be starstruck.
“How long have you known Renjun for?” he asked. And why the hell had you not come around sooner?
“Oh.” You took a deep breath and pursed your lips in thought as Chenle stopped to grab you a water bottle from the kitchen. “Four years now? Five? His family knows mine, so when I came back here, his parents told him he had to help me find my way around.”
“Well, today’s pretty laid back,” Chenle explains. “We’ll probably practice for another hour or two and then go home. We’ve been at it all day.”
You hum in response, opening the cap and taking a sip. “Thank you for this. Sorry to keep you from practice.”
“Don’t be. I’m ready to get the hell out of here.” Chenle chuckles, gaze drinking you in when you’re distracted by your water. “And…they can be a little…much at first. But they’re all great people, so you’ll be fine.”
“Bold of you to assume I’m nervous.” You narrowed your eyes at him playfully.
He bit back a smile, pressing his lips into a thin line instead. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Renjun has given me plenty of warnings,” you tell him.
He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t taken you to the practice room yet. The two of you stood in the kitchen, but he knew the second you were with everyone else, the conversation was over. He didn’t want to stop talking to you, and that odd feeling of warmth settled into his chest.
“Like what?” Chenle raised his eyebrows.
“He said you’re cranky and mean.” You smiled at him, and he swore he was almost knocked off his feet. There was something about you that drew him in.
Chenle made a mental note to scold Renjun later, but he’s not necessarily wrong…he was cranky until he saw you.
“Well, in that case, what he said about everyone else is probably accurate, too.”
“You don’t look cranky,” you interjected. “You’re not mean either. Mean people don’t get strangers water bottles.”
“I’m mean to Renjun. And Jisung.”
“They’re your friends. You get a pass for your friends.” You slid one of your hands into the back pocket of your jeans, rocking on the balls of your feet as silence befell the room.
“They’re waiting for me,” Chenle says. “We should go.”
You nodded in agreement and followed him. He sulked a bit when the other members were introduced to you. They were all nice—because they always were—but when it came time to get back to practice, he found himself gravitating toward you several times.
Nearly every time he looked at you, you were already looking at him, too. Maybe it wasn’t just him that felt the weird tug. He hoped it wasn’t.
After they wrapped everything up, Chenle sat against the back wall, feeling so heavy as if he could fall asleep right there. He was exhausted.
Jaemin, Jeno, Donghyuck, and Mark were already on their way out the door, leaving Jisung to slump next to Chenle and Renjun to talk with you. Jisung noted how he was watching you, but he didn’t say anything right away. He drank his water and stayed quiet.
You said something to Renjun, who smiled at you and nodded. He headed for the door and waited for you outside. When Chenle realized you were coming over to him, he shot a worried glance over at Jisung.
“Would you look at that?” Jisung cleared his throat. “Time for me to go.”
Before Chenle could even grab him, Jisung was halfway to the door. Once you were in front of him, you sat down and crossed your legs.
“You did really well today.”
He chuckled. “I think that’s the worst I’ve done this comeback season.”
“Then you’re in pretty good shape.” You shrugged, picking at the seam of your jeans. “I wanted to thank you. For helping me earlier.”
“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” he said. “You’re Renjun’s friend. Of course, I’d help you.”
“Right.” You brushed your hair over your shoulder and prepared to stand up. “I should go—”
“Will you be coming back?” The question shot out of his mouth, sending a blush to his cheeks in response.
“I’m not sure,” you told him. “That’s up to Renjun I guess. It was really cool to see how passionate you guys are.”
“Let me give you my number.” Chenle grabbed his phone from his pocket. “Um, just in case you get lost again. And need help finding the room.” He cringed at himself, hoping he wasn’t going to get rejected.
“Yeah, I’d like that.” You gave him the tiniest smile, but it made his heart flutter anyway.
He handed it to you with the contact app open. You didn’t even hesitate to type in your name and number. After, you sent yourself a text, and Chenle heard it ring in your back pocket. You gave it back to him, grinned, and left him sitting there in shock.
He couldn’t choose between staring at you as you left and looking down at your contact open on his screen. His stomach twisted with nerves, but the second he saw the smiley face emoji you’d put next to your name, he already knew.
You were going to be someone to him.
Mark drops something in the kitchen, snapping Chenle out of it. He looks at you, and you smile back at him. With you pressed into his side and your legs over his lap, he can’t help but grin right back.
His hand rests on your thigh, thumb sliding gently back and forth as he presses a kiss to your temple. He’d never get used to this.
After returning from the kitchen, Mark allows the game to resume. His nose scrunches as he glances between you and Chenle. “That’s a weird ass question.”
“Not weird.” Chenle shakes his head. “Critical thinking, Mark, you should try it.”
“Oh, be nice.” You shove his shoulder.
For a while now, Chenle has felt his feelings growing more than he thought possible. He’s already in love with you (thankfully, since you’ve been together almost a year now), but something about you lately has him on a whole other level. Even then, he’s not sure what it is. He decides he’ll ride it out for a while and see where it takes him.
“Why would you ask your girlfriend what year she’d take a time machine back to? Shouldn’t she be like…happiest now?” Mark asks, sipping on whatever mixed drink he’d prepared in Chenle’s kitchen.
“You’d think.” Chenle snorts, leaning back against the couch and throwing his arm around you.
“He asks me questions like this all the time,” you tell Mark. When you steal a glance at your boyfriend, his breath catches in his chest.
What the hell is going on with him lately? He can’t concentrate around you (even more than usual) and every tiny thing you do has his heart hammering against his ribcage. Soon enough, he’s sure you’ll both hear the bones crack.
“Has anyone, by chance, ever told you two that you’re gross?” Mark chuckles to himself and leans back in the recliner. “Some of us are single and lonely, you know.”
“Some of us will never be that again,” Chenle shoots back.
“Oh, you two are the worst.” Your laugh echoes pleasantly in his ears, and he subconsciously leans closer to you.
“I am curious what your answer is, though,” Mark interjects. “Since Chenle’s so sure.”
Chenle takes a sip of his own drink, nearly cringing at the bitter taste dragging down his throat. He’s not much of a drinker—social at best. But he can still appreciate the buzz and the hazy happiness that comes with it. You take his hand that dangles over your shoulder, twirling the friendship ring wrapped around his middle finger. The action is so, so simple, yet it makes his stomach turn.
If he doesn’t figure out what the hell’s going on with him soon, he’s gonna have to separate himself from you.
“Well, you’re right.” You shrug, shuffling closer to Chenle. “This part of my life has definitely been the best. But if I could go back to any time, it would probably be when we met. You only get to meet Zhong Chenle once in your life, dude. I’d do it over and over again if I could. The second I saw him, I knew he would be important to me.”
Chenle thinks back to the moment he first saw you. The way he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you like an actual child or the way he took in every detail of you to store in his mind forever—just in case he never got to speak to you again. He pauses, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he analyzes your answer.
Mark groans. “That doesn’t count! That was last year.”
Grabbing the pillow next to him, Chenle throws it at his friend. “Leave her alone, it was a good answer.”
But when he contemplates that thought, he’s not sure he understands what you mean. His ears burn, the tips of them turning red as he recalls how embarrassingly nervous he was around you all the time. How awkward all of your firsts together were. Everything now is so much better than back then.
Not to mention he’s looked at you the same way since that first night. His feelings for you have grown, sure, but those butterflies he used to get still torment him just about every time he sees you smile.
“Why?” Chenle finally asks.
“You were so cute,” you hum, shifting closer to him. “Everything made you nervous. You almost keeled over in embarrassment when you asked to hold my hand.”
Mark laughs, and Chenle sends a glare his way. No part of that is even anywhere near funny.
“Okay, it's your turn.” Mark gestures at you.
Chenle resists the urge to reach over and touch your face. Usually, he’s so much better about being so clingy in front of his friends and, while he would prefer Mark not seeing this side of him, he couldn’t care less when his gaze is locked with yours.
“Cool.” You nod, taking a sip of your drink. “Both of you. Hypothetical situation. Let’s say you’re drunk. You walk into a room and everyone you’ve ever loved is in there. Like…loved. Who are you going to?”
“Dude.” Mark’s jaw drops. “That’s such a shitty question for me.”
“You’ll live,” Chenle replies. “Just romantic love?”
“All of it. Platonic, romantic, family.” You purse your lips in thought.
Chenle doesn’t have to think about it. Not really. He’d rather get struck by lightning and then hit by a bus right after before admitting that so easily in front of Mark. In this case, it’s always been you. From the second you spoke to him for the first time, he was irrevocably yours. 
“You.” Chenle watches your eyebrows raise.
“Be serious,” you say. “Your parents are included in that.”
“I’m serious. You.” Chenle chuckles.
You give him a pointed look, but that’s when Mark cuts in.
“No, he’s for real. Like…that legitimately happened.” Mark leans forward, elbows digging into his thighs as he rests his head in his palms. “Do you guys not remember?”
“What are you talking about?” you ask him, frowning.
Chenle remembers. Barely, and it’s a bit foggy, but it comes back like a baseball bat upside the head as Mark starts telling the story.
Chenle’s birthday party last year. The night was barely halfway through and he was drunk enough to be stumbling over his feet. He’d heard you were coming, but he had yet to see you. Even when every other feeling was numbed by the tingling sensation the alcohol left behind, his craving to see you was all that remained. 
Mark walked next to him, having a full conversation with himself since Chenle was so fog-brained. As much as he loved Mark, there was only one person he wanted to see. Everyone he knew and loved was here—his parents, the rest of his group, and Jisung had somehow forgotten to uninvite Chenle’s ex.
He only ever dated one person before you, but he wasn’t sure he ever loved her. Regardless, there she was. Even with her standing across the room from him, he kept waiting like a lost puppy.
When you walked in, he swore the whole world stopped around him. Everyone but you was moving in slow motion before they eventually faded into nothing, darkness that was emphasized by the light you were. His breath caught in his throat, and he stopped walking.
Chenle couldn’t form a coherent thought while he stared at you, drunken stupor making it so much easier to forget the embarrassment. Mark watched him curiously as Chenle made his way over to you. He refused to waste any more time when he knew you were the one he wanted to talk to.
You had always been more confident around him than he was around you. Your face lit up when you saw him, wrapping your arms around him. He secured you in his grasp, breathing in the scent of your hair and the perfume you wore.
“Happy birthday.” Your voice is muffled a bit by his T-shirt. “Sorry I’m late, took a bit longer to get ready than I thought it would.”
He knew he should’ve let you go. People were starting to notice the way he was clinging to you, and not even being drunk could excuse that behavior. He was about ready to tell everyone except you to leave. Nothing else mattered. If he could spend his birthday with you, it would be the best one yet.
It’d been two months since Renjun had introduced you to the rest of them. Which means, he’s only known of your existence for two months, and you already command so much of his brain matter that he can’t think of anyone but you. Great.
He finally (reluctantly) let you go and led you over to the rest of the group. Nobody said anything when he made Mark scoot over so you could sit next to him. Nobody questioned it. His parents would ask him about it later, but until then, there was no reason for him to worry. After all, his crush on you was the most obvious thing in the world, so it was only a matter of time before you found out about it.
By the end of the night, he hadn’t spent enough time with you. People were starting to shuffle out, but you stayed, chatting with Renjun until only four remained. Chenle’s parents had gone to bed long ago. You were almost caught up to him on drinks, your laughs longer and your movements slower.
Under any other circumstances, he wouldn’t have been as brave as to walk up to you and ask you to stay the night. He didn’t mean it in a suggestive way, either. He just didn’t want you to leave yet.
“Chenle,” Renjun scolds, swatting his shoulder. “You can’t ask something like that so casually.”
“You want me to stay here? With you?” Your voice was higher than normal. Chenle accredited it to the alcohol raging in your system.
“I like when you’re here.” Chenle nodded. “You make everything calm.”
Renjun scrunched up his face, slamming his forehead into his palm. “(Y/N), you should probably go home—”
“No, it’s okay.” You brushed him off. “I’m okay with staying.”
Oh, he was in love with you. There was no other explanation for the way his heart skipped a beat when those words came out of your mouth.
Chenle doesn’t remember the rest of that night, but he does recall waking up next to you in the morning and freaking out. Alcohol made him brave, but it didn’t save him from the red-hot embarrassment of the next day.
“I didn’t even realize…” you trailed off, a small smile forming on your face. “You picked me.”
“I’ll always pick you,” Chenle responds easily, like second nature.
Mark decides it’s time for him to leave, but Chenle’s mind is still reeling with memories. With all of the firsts you said you wished you could relive. But no matter how hard he tries, he can’t figure out what the fuck this feeling is. As the two of you climb into bed, he’s so distracted, he can’t fall asleep, even with you curled into his chest.
“(Y/N),” Chenle groaned when he saw you in the practice room mirror. “You gotta stop showing up here if you don’t want me to fall in love with you.”
It was a joke. Sort of.
“Right, and let you forget to eat? I think not.” You fought back every time, unphased by the way he so casually admitted he’s starting to fall for you.
At least, that was his idea of admitting it.
You walked over with the bags in your hand, sitting down on the practice room floor next to him. 
“I haven’t even been here that long,” Chenle defended himself. “I would’ve eaten after I left.”
You unloaded the contents, opening boxes. “I can go if that’s what you want.”
“Not what I said.” For some reason, he felt a sudden burst of courage. He’s known you for four months at this point, and something about today felt…right. “I was serious, you know.”
“About what?” You grabbed the drinks from the carrier.
“You.”
“What?” You recoiled, looking at him in confusion.
He contemplated telling you to forget it. That it didn’t matter, and thank you for the food instead. If you didn’t feel the same way for him, he’d be devastated. And then you’d leave him for good and take all the food with you. He was starving.
“If you keep doing nice things for me, I’m gonna fall for you.” As if he hasn’t already.
You paused, but Chenle didn’t miss the blush on your face. Clearing your throat, you looked away from him and took a deep breath. His fists clenched as he awaited your rejection, but the longer the silence stretched, the more he felt you might want him to.
“Don’t say things like that if you don’t mean it,” you finally said and brushed your hair behind your ears. Reaching forward for the food again, you gave Chenle a shocked look when he grabbed your wrist.
“You’re right. I’m not going to fall for you. I already did.”
Your jaw dropped, eyes widening as his words settled in the air around both of you. With his heart racing, he released your wrist and intertwined your fingers instead.
“I really, really like you.”
“You should really eat your food before it gets cold.” You pulled your hand from his and pushed the box closer to him.
He stared blankly at the wall, noting the sudden chill on his skin that you left behind. A sinking feeling encapsulated his chest, and he knew he ruined everything. You looked like you were ready to run.
“Forget I said anything,” he told you. “I’m sorry if that was weird.”
“Eat,” you commanded again. “I’m not talking about this with you until I know you’ve eaten. If you don’t, we’ll go off on a tangent and you’ll be starving all night.”
“Does that mean you—”
“Yes, Chenle.” You interrupted him. “Yes, I really, really like you too, which is why I want to make sure you eat.”
At that moment, Chenle realized that if he walked outside and randomly dropped dead, he’d be okay with it now that he’s gotten that confession out of you. There wasn’t a damn thing that could top that. Everything else in life would be subpar to today, so there was no point in trying.
You and Chenle ate in silence. He kept stealing glances at you, catching you doing the same to him. If all he had to do in order to get you to talk about your feelings with him was eat, he’d do it, albeit probably a bit too fast for his own good.
Chenle runs his fingers through his hair, his thumb tracing gentle shapes against the bare skin of your arm. These memories have no business popping up in the middle of the night. He has practice tomorrow. He’ll be so off his game, the other members will want to kill him.
Usually, he has no problem falling asleep, especially with you right beside him. Over the past year, you’ve probably spent more nights with him than you have at your own place. He teases you for it all the time, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Closing his eyes, he listens to the soft sounds of your breathing and allows himself to feel the way your body slots with his so easily. Everything about you is perfect. About the two of you together. He would toss and turn, but no way is he going to disturb you. Even if he can’t sleep, he’d never screw up your schedule on purpose.
“It’s so pretty.” You were in awe, staring at the sunset from Chenle’s backyard. He’d set up a picnic date for the two of you, and afterward, you were watching the sun fade below the treeline while lying on top of a red blanket.
His fingers were intertwined with yours, something that had become so normal for you. Two weeks since his confession, and it was the second date he planned. He wondered, obsessed over, even, what your thought process was on all of this. Were you happy? Did he make you happy?
He wanted to kiss you when he confessed to you. And while he came close to it on your first date, he decided against it. It had to be perfect. Nothing was good enough for you in his mind, especially when all he wanted was to make sure you knew just how he felt about you.
How was he supposed to tell you that?
He’d already said he fell for you, but that didn’t begin to cover it. Not really. You made him want to put in effort, made him crave your happiness like it was the very oxygen he breathed. At the same time, he didn’t want you to think he didn’t want to kiss you. Hell, he’d already dreamed of it, for fuck’s sake, so that definitely wasn’t the issue.
Lost in thought, he’s only snapped out of it by the way you rolled over, lying on your stomach so you can get a good look at his face. You rested your head on your right palm, your left finding his bicep.
“You’re so perfect,” he hummed, twirling your hair with his fingers. “Could look at you forever.”
“Some people might have an issue with that.” You laughed.
“We’re the only ones that matter,” he responded.
Your smile slowly faded, a look of longing replacing it as your gaze softened.
God, he wanted to kiss you. He needed to.
All thoughts of the perfect moment have fled from his brain. Any moment would be perfect as long as it’s you.
He sat up and you leaned forward, and before he knew it, his nose brushed yours. Your eyes fluttered shut in preparation. The heat of the sun sank into his skin. Your perfume wafted from you, intertwining with the air and suffocating him in the best ways. If he could pick one scent to smell for the rest of his life, it would be yours.
Was it normal to have these thoughts so early?
Why was he thinking of that right now? Literally the worst possible time.
“Can I?” he whispered, scared to ruin everything.
“Yes.”
As soon as the word left your mouth, he kissed you. Everything about you was soft, so he shouldn’t have been so surprised to find your lips the same way. His hands shook as he touched your waist.
He was already in big trouble. There wasn’t a single part of him that wanted to stop there. His heart thudded so loud, he was halfway sure you could hear it, too. It felt like sparks flew between you two, absolute electricity coursing through every single one of his veins, heating up his bloodstream and making the thought of pulling away from you the absolute worst case scenario.
You moved away first, gasping for breath. Chenle craved tugging you back to him. His body reacted to you in ways it had never reacted to anyone else. He didn’t want to take it too far, but he sure as hell didn’t want to stop, either.
He couldn’t describe the way you felt. The way you tasted. Everything about you was so heart-achingly perfect, he wanted to experience you all the time. He wanted to rewind time so he could kiss you again for the first time, and he’d do it over and over and over again.
Something about first kisses set him on fire. He was absolutely sure he’d kiss you more. In fact, he was seconds away from it. But the adrenaline coming from the very first brush of your lips on his wasn’t something he’d ever be able to recreate.
“Again.” You leaned in once more.
He met you in the middle eagerly, hand finding the back of your head before he turned you so you were lying on your back. Half of his weight pressed against you, but he did his best to keep himself lifted up so you weren’t uncomfortable.
Unforgettable heat swarmed him, the sun caressing his skin as your fingers gently traced down the back of his neck. Goosebumps formed, but he could hardly pay attention to them. The entire world was gone, and you were everything, the only person remaining in a sea of nothingness. He wanted you. Needed you.
This was technically your second kiss, but in his mind, it was still the first since they happened almost at the same time. He hadn’t stopped to take a breath in much too long, but he’d rather suffocate than separate from you.
He stopped when your breath hitched, completely lost in the sound. When he wasn’t focusing on your mouth anymore, he realized why—his hand had somehow found its way to your upper thigh. His face burned as he removed it.
“I didn’t…” he trailed off, scanning over your face for any hint of what you were feeling. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
You chuckled at him, pushing his shoulder. “You wish that excuse would work on me.”
The sky faded into a beautiful lilac color, the kind that only appeared when the sun was barely peeking over the horizon. Clouds drifted effortlessly, stars beginning to shine.
“Should we go inside?” Chenle asked. “It’ll get cold without the sun.”
Whenever he looked at you, he knew you were different. He couldn’t place how, but nobody else had ever made him feel the way you do. Like his heart was going to burst out of his chest while simultaneously stopping and also skipping every other beat. He didn’t even know how he was alive anymore.
In the last two weeks since his confession, the boys had told him how much happier he was. How he was striving with more effort lately and trying his best at any given moment of the day. You were his motivation. You made him want to be the absolute best he could be, and even as new as the relationship was, he’d already known you for months—he was nervous about you deciding you wanted something else. Someone who wasn’t him.
The moment before replayed in his head, and he heard that breath hitch on repeat while he awaited your answer. He did his best to stop thinking about it, but nothing worked. All he wanted to do was kiss you again, over and over and over until the literal end of time.
“Yeah.” You nodded. “Let’s go inside.”
His cheeks redden just thinking of that memory. The first time he ever kissed you, and he royally fucked up because his hand didn’t know how to stay put. At this point, it’s clear he’s not going to be able to fall asleep. He hates the idea of leaving you in bed alone, but he’s only going to disturb you if he doesn’t plan on sleeping.
Sliding away from you carefully, he quietly gets up and heads into the kitchen. He runs his fingers through his hair. His hands down his face. He must be sentimental today, because he can’t stop thinking about you for the life of him. Every memory from the last year pokes at his head, and he has no clue how to handle it.
Patting his cheeks, he heads over to the fridge to grab a water bottle. Photos of the two of you are framed up on the wall. There’s one picture in particular he always says is his favorite, but he refuses to tell you why.
The two of you were sitting on the floor, and you had the cutest glare on your face. He sees the adoration gleaming in your gaze even though you look about ready to strangle him. In your defense, you probably were. He lets out a tiny laugh, tracing over the frame. 
There’s even one with Chenle between you and Jisung, and a group picture with you and the boys. Chenle loves his friends dearly, and the way they’ve welcomed you with open arms says a lot about both your relationship with them and his potential future with you. Everyone in his life loves you. You’re the one they call when Chenle’s upset or if he’s off his game, and no matter when or where this is happening, you show up to make him feel better.
He could be having the worst day of his entire existence, and a simple ‘I love you’ passing from your lips has him forgetting everything shitty about the world. Looking back at the pictures, he’s drawn back into memory.
He heard the birds outside his window before he saw the gleaming sun. His eyes fluttered open while he groaned quietly at the sudden change of brightness. Your body was like a fireball, your skin searing hot against his, but it did little to bother him. His groan turned into a sigh of content, and he wrapped his arms around you tighter. Fingertips trailing down your bare spine, he kissed your forehead.
Three months together, and every night spent with you made him fall deeper in love. He’d never known peace as he did at that moment. No interruptions, just the two of you basking in each other’s embrace.
He could’ve stayed like that forever—he wanted to, but glancing at the clock, he realized how close it was to noon. Jaemin would be there soon, and the last thing Chenle needed was him in his house when you were naked in his bed.
He reluctantly got up, dressing himself before grabbing some clothes for you. You have a drawer, multiple, actually, but he picked his own T-shirt for you to wear. When he made it over to you, you were stirring.
“You got up.” You pouted at him, staring at him through half-closed eyes. “And you have clothes on.”
Chenle laughed. “Sorry, love. Jaemin will be here soon.”
“It’s that late?” you asked.
Chenle nodded, setting the clothes down next to you. He kissed you softly, gently, a kiss so barely there it left you leaning forward to try to continue it. Cupping your cheek, he brushed his thumb along your skin.
You didn’t need help getting dressed, but he did it anyway. He loved the way you looked in his T-shirts, and even though it’s long enough to cover you, no way he’d risk it. Once you were finished, the two of you got ready for the day. You brushed your teeth together, he watched you brush your hair, and by the time you’re done, Jaemin was walking in the front door.
The three of you sat on the floor around Chenle’s coffee table, playing a game. He can’t remember what the game was anymore, only that you were terrible at it and that he loved winning.
Jaemin teased both of you the whole time, ruffling Chenle’s hair on multiple occasions. As much as he’d love to deny it, Chenle enjoyed that Jaemin liked the two of you together. It was almost like an affirmation, even if he didn’t need one.
Being the professional picture-snapper he was, Jaemin took the picture now hanging up on Chenle’s wall. You, with your arms crossed over your chest and a big pout on your face, and Chenle, smiling widely at you with such adoration in his eyes it should’ve been impossible.
“Lele?” Your soft voice breaks him away from his memory. He turns to you quickly, heart instantly halting in his chest when he sees his shirt on you.
“What are you doing up?” he asks.
“I was gonna ask you that.” You rub your eyes, feet shuffling on the floor as you walk over to him.
“I couldn’t sleep,” he replies and takes you in his arms with ease. “Didn’t want to bug you, sunshine.”
You don’t respond. All you do is bury your head in his chest and breathe him in. He runs his fingers through your hair, kissing the top of your head. With all the lights off, the only illumination is the full moon outside as it casts shadows on the ground. The faint blue makes you that much more ethereal to him.
“You okay?” he whispers.
“Mm,” you hum in response. “This is nice.”
Chenle smiles. “Yeah, it is. Always is.”
After a bit of silence and rocking you gently, an idea sparks. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, finding the playlist he made specifically for when he thinks about you, and sets it on the counter. You stare at him in tired confusion, but when one of his arms wraps around your waist, you catch on.
“What are you doing?” Humor is laced in your voice, but the sweet look on your face tells him his actions are making you happy. That’s his goal, constantly. All he wants is to make you happy.
“Checking something off the bucket list,” he replies, slowly turning you to the soft beat.
“Something’s missing,” you say as he twirls you.
He steals a glance at the way his shirt rides up your legs, showing just a peek of your panties beneath it.
“What?” he asks, pulling you back to him.
“Sing to me.” You place your hand on his chest.
His heart betrays him at that moment. It rages, and he knows you can feel it. Chenle sings in front of thousands of people all the time, but something about you is different. Something about you right now is different.
“What’s going on up in there?” You run your fingers through his hair. “You’ve been all weird today.”
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he admits. “Everything. From the moment we met up until this…it keeps repeating over and over again.”
“Welcome to my world,” you replied, grasping his shoulders. You massage them gently as you sway along with the music.
The confession from you makes him smile. At least he’s not the only one doing constant circles in his head. He calms a bit, and when a new song plays, he sings to you. Your body immediately relaxes into his, as if every stress you’ve ever had has left you without hesitation.
Chenle loves to sing. He does it all the time, and he only wants to keep getting better. To have someone like you as his partner, someone who supports him endlessly and genuinely loves his voice…it’s unparalleled.
He’s not sure how long the two of you are like this, or how long he’s singing for, but song after song, all he knows is that you’re smiling. You’re looking at him with unmatched adoration in your eyes, pure love. Nobody else has ever looked at him in this way, and he doesn’t want them to.
He wants to stay here with you and watch you love him in ways he’s never been loved before.
He stops. His singing fades out, and he furrows his eyebrows as he finally, finally realizes what’s been happening to him. You tilt your head, able to ask him questions without saying anything. His chest feels like it’s going to burst.
You’re it. 
You’re everything, and he’s going to marry you.
He’s going to spend the rest of his life striving to make sure you love him as much as you do right now, if not more.
It seems like you feel it, too. Your face softens and you reach up to trace along his cheekbone. He leans into your touch, chasing the warmth like it’s the last time he’ll ever feel it.
“I…” He takes a deep breath, shaking his head slowly. “I’m so fucking in love with you.”
“I know.” You grin so wide, Chenle almost thinks it’ll split your face in two.
“Good.” He brushes your hair behind your ear. “I hope I’m doing a good job in showing you that every day.”
You pause, hands trailing down from his cheeks to his shoulders. “I have never once doubted that you love me, Lele. Are you sure everything’s okay?”
“I promise you I’ve never felt better,” he replies. “Just checking in with you.”
“You do so much more than you realize. No matter how busy you are, you text me to tell me you love me or that you’re thinking about me. You practice non-stop with the boys but you still make an effort with me when you could easily use that as an excuse. There is not one thing I could ask for that you don’t already do.” You press a quick kiss to his lips. “I’ll never doubt you.”
“Sometimes I worry,” he admits. “You make me…want to be better. In every way possible. In my career, in my life, with you. And if I’m not being better every day, then I don’t deserve you.”
“Chenle.” You give him a pointed look. “When I think back to the first day we met, I remember how…how you acted from the first time you spoke to me. At the time, I really thought I was crazy, but I knew you’d be someone to me. You didn’t even know me, but you were so kind. And now that we’re here like this, you haven’t changed. There’s no getting better. You’re already the best.”
“How do you do that?” He chuckles, kissing your forehead.
“Do what?”
“Know exactly what to say.”
“That’s my special talent,” you tell him.
“We should get back to bed,” Chenle says, sleep weighing on him. “Meeting the boys tomorrow.”
He grabs his phone from the counter, his heart full and warm as he leads you back to his bedroom. This time, as he’s lying with you pressed to his chest, he’s able to fall into his dreamland.
Despite his lack of sleep, Chenle is full of energy the next day. He wakes up and makes you coffee just the way you like before sitting on the edge of the bed by your sleeping form. When he sets the cup on the nightstand, you stir, turning over to face him.
“You’re gonna be late,” you mumble, even though you have no idea what time it is.
Chenle chuckles, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay? You can stay here if you want. Wanted to tell you I love you before I left.”
“Love you, too,” you say with a tired smile, giving his hand a squeeze.
“Drink your coffee before it gets cold. I’ll grab dinner for us on my way back.”
Walking away from you feels like someone’s trying to rip his heart out of his chest. You’re an extension of him at this point, and after his sudden realization last night, all he wants to do is spend the day curled up with you.
Luckily for him, his day passes by pretty quickly. He got a lot done today, and he was proud of that. You’d be proud of him, too. He’s itching to get home and tell you everything that happened. Staying true to his word, he picks up your favorite takeout.
He’s going to be honest with you about what was going on with him yesterday. It’s the right thing to do—and in a perfect world, you’ll feel the same way he does. He hasn’t felt this nervous since he admitted his feelings for you. Even though that side of him feels worlds away now, he remembers it like it was yesterday.
But the restaurant isn’t the only stop he makes.
He’s shaking by the time he gets back. Is a year really enough time? It is for him, but what if you think he’s insane?
When he arrives, he’s not expecting what you’ve done at all. The main lights are off, but a dim golden glow from the strips along the wall and the candles illuminate the room enough. He sets the bag down on the table, completely forgetting about the food as he searches for you.
“(Y/N)?”
“You’re earlier than I thought you’d be,” you tell him, walking out of his bedroom while still putting in an earring.
His throat dries. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words could ever justify the way you look right now. You put on a dress, one of his favorites, and he’s in jeans and a T-shirt.
You kiss his cheek. “I figured you deserve something nice to come home to.”
“You’re my something nice.” He wraps his arm around your waist. “Should I change?”
“We’re not going anywhere.” You shake your head. “Just relax and enjoy your gorgeous girlfriend.”
“Oh, I can get on board with that.” He allows you to lead him back to the table.
Once he’s taking the food out of the bag, he keeps stealing glances at you. You put in all this effort for him, and he knows how much work it must’ve been to hang up all these lights. The golden glow looks ethereal against your skin.
“Before we eat, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” He clears his throat to stop it from collapsing in on itself, but it doesn’t work.
“What’s up?” You set your elbow on the table and rest your head on your palm. “Is everything alright?”
“Everything’s perfect, actually.” He takes a deep breath, reaching to grab your free hand. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” You bite back a laugh.
“You can’t make fun of me for what I’m about to tell you.” He gives you the most serious look he can muster, and you nod.
“I wouldn’t do that,” you reassure him. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I…I want to love you forever.” He gulps. “And when I think of everything we’ve gone through and been through together, I seriously can’t imagine ever trying to have anyone else fill this spot you hold in my life.”
You perk up a bit, gaze staring into his. God, he loves how interested you are in what he has to say. How you’re listening to him so intently. His thumb rubs over your knuckles as he tries to think of the words he wants to use.
“I want to marry you. Call me crazy if you want, tell me you hate the idea, that’s fine, but I had to tell you. We obviously can’t get married now, or probably any time soon because of my contract, but I want you to know that it’s what I want. It’s what’s going to happen if you want it, too.”
You clear your throat and cover your mouth with your hand, eyes welling. Chenle’s heart aches seeing this reaction, knowing you feel as strongly as he does. He reaches into his pocket and puts a small box on the table in front of you.
“It’s not the real thing. Not yet. But I want you to know how serious I am, because if I was able to marry you, I would’ve done it yesterday.” He opens it, revealing a simple band in it. “Subtle enough where people won’t ask questions, but we’ll know.”
“Chenle, are you being serious right now?” You sniffle. “This is a very cruel prank.”
“The guys and I sat down together today to write a song. I think you’ll love it, so when we record it I’m sneaking you a copy. Anyway, we were there for twenty minutes, and words were just flowing out of me. I wrote about you. About how you make me feel, and I think anyone who knows about us will understand that when they listen to the song.”
He pauses to swallow past the lump in his throat.
“I want you. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life proving to you why I deserve that. Let me put this ring on you, and this can be the start.”
You quickly wipe your face as you nod. He takes your left hand, grabs the ring out of the box, and slips it on your middle finger.
“One day, this will be real.” Chenle catches another one of your tears. “I love you. There is not one thing in this world that could change that.”
His heart pounds in his chest as he watches your reaction. He wants to touch you and kiss you after pouring his thoughts out to you, but he needs to make sure you’re feeling the same way. The last thing he wants to do is overwhelm you.
His palms are sweaty and he can barely sit still. You groan, giving one last aggressive swipe below your eyes before you launch up from your chair and end up in his lap. You bury your head in his neck, squeezing him tighter than you should. He instinctively wraps his arms around your waist, softly chuckling at your outburst.
“You better not change your mind.” Cupping both of his cheeks, you try your best to look angry. “If you do, I’m marrying you anyway.”
His own vision blurs at the sight of you. You love him as much as he loves you, and you want to be with him forever.
You want to be with him forever.
The emotions rioting inside him surprise even him, and he blinks quickly to try and suppress the tears. It’s no use, because as soon as you notice, you start crying again. He groans and drops his head back on the chair, squeezing you closer to him.
“You’ll be the death of me,” Chenle says.
“Kiss me, you idiot.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. His mouth finds yours, both of you falling into each other’s rhythm. Saltiness from your tears lingers on your lips. He weaves his fingers through your hair, but no matter what he does, you’re just not close enough.
Pulling away from you, he rests his forehead on yours. “You should eat, sunshine.”
“You expect me to be able to eat after all of that?” You furrow your eyebrows. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.”
“You’ll be sad if it gets cold,” he reminds you.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be sad again,” you whisper.
All thoughts escape him. Nothing else exists except for you, wrapped around him like a damn koala bear. He rests his hand on your thigh and lets your words sink deep into him.
Moments like these are hard to explain, he thinks. He’s only like this around you, so lost in his connection with you that he’s got nothing else on his mind. Anything and everything you say to him is tattooed in the darkest ink on his soul, until he’s covered in everything he wants to be for you.
“Promise me you’ll always look at me like that.” You break the silence, running your fingers through his hair and smiling.
“I promise.” He nods, barely realizing how he’s leaning forward.
Your eyes flutter shut as he inches closer. He kisses you softly, almost as if he fears he’ll break you. His fingers splay out across the small of your back and he traces shapes into the soft fabric of your dress. You’re overwhelming. His love for you is, too. So much so, he feels as if he’s going to burst out of his skin. He’s going to wake up and everything will have been a dream, because there’s no way he’d ever done anything in his life to deserve someone like you.
You hum into his mouth, rolling your hips once. His breathing stutters as his first instinct is to lift toward you. At first, he wants to stay like this, you clinging onto him like you’d be lost without him, but when you grind down a second time, he feels a twitch in his pants.
It’s been over a week since the last time he’s been inside you thanks to his schedules. And now you’re on top of him, wearing his favorite dress of yours, and kissing him like you’ll never be able to feel him again after tonight.
He’s tired, but he’s never too tired for you. Brushing your hair away, he leans down to kiss your neck, licking the expanse of your soft skin. Your pulse thunders beneath his tongue, and he has to fight the urge to bite down.
Touching you like this is different when he knows he’ll never lose you. You’re his forever.
His lips press against the sensitive spot below your ear, and the short moan escaping you just about sends him up the wall. When he pulls away to get a good look at you, your eyes are dark, lips already swollen from the way he kissed you.
He tries to catch his breath while he silently asks you if this is what you want. You nod, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Standing, he lifts you up until your legs are secure around his waist, and he grabs your ass with one hand and the back of your head with the other.
Mouths attached, he doesn’t separate from you until he’s setting you down on his bed. He barely has time to appreciate the candles you lit in here, too, the soft scent of vanilla flooding his senses. You already try to push his T-shirt up, anything to feel his skin on yours. He obliges, pulling it over his head before returning to kissing you like his life depended on it. When your hands find the button on his jeans, he grabs your wrist.
“Patience, baby.” Chenle runs his fingers up and down your thigh. “We have the rest of our lives. Let me take my time with you tonight.”
Just like that, you’re putty in his hands. He smirks at the realization. Sneaking his touch up your leg, the hem of the dress moves to accommodate him. He stops when he feels the lace of your panties.
“Did you dress up for me twice, sunshine?” he hums.
“Always,” you say, shamelessly staring at his lips. “Do you love me, Chenle?”
His whole body vibrated from those words. They made him feel at a frequency he hadn’t quite reached yet, and all he wanted to do was rip that damn dress off.
“More than anything.”
He can’t really say it’s ‘like second nature’ anymore. There’s nothing second about it. This is you. Anything to do with you is first nature, no matter what it is. His world revolves around you, everything he does is based on what you want, and he wouldn’t change that in any way.
“Show me,” you whisper, so intoxicating he almost crumbles to his knees right in front of you.
How embarrassing that all it takes is two words to have him give in to you. He’s straining against his pants now, his cock aching to be free and buried inside you.
“Don’t worry. I will.” He kisses you again, soft and sweet like his hand isn’t so, so close to your dripping, eager core. Heat radiates from you, and all he wants is to be consumed by it.
He drags your panties down your legs, nails gently scratching your skin on the way down. Your chest rises and falls quickly as you try to regain your breath, but he loves the way you’re so desperate for him. The way you want him just as much as he wants you.
He doesn’t want to be patient anymore. Every cell in his body is urging him to connect with yours, but he wants to take care of you. That side of him always wins, otherwise both of you would probably be done already.
His finger dances along your entrance. He inhales sharply as your wetness coats his skin. You move your hips toward him, practically begging him for stimulation. He teasingly nudges your clit, pleasantly surprised by the way your body jolts.
Mouth brushing yours, he takes the second of distraction to slide two fingers inside you. As your lips part to release a moan, he mirrors the action, eyes fluttering shut as he slowly, slowly thrusts his hand.
Your walls squeeze so hard, he curses. He could fuck you a thousand times, and you’d still be as tight as you are right now. His heart goes straight into overdrive, but all the blood in his body is shooting down to his cock. He’s painfully hard, rocking back and forth gently.
He kisses you, lips working against yours in a perfect harmony. Your sounds are his favorite. He loves knowing it’s him making you feel this way, that he has the power to make your knees weak and your pussy throb.
He lets out a moan when he scissors his fingers, trying his best to prepare you. God, you’re so warm and wet and tight, he isn’t sure if he’ll be able to last long tonight. His pace quickens, sounds of your slickness filling the room.
You call out his name, back arching as you grasp desperately at his shoulders. He leans in and kisses your cheek, making sure to press his palm into your clit every time he’s knuckle deep. 
“You’re perfect, baby,” he whispers with his lips against your ear, voice rough. “I love you so much. So fucking much.”
You tense, pussy clamping down hard on his fingers as your hips buck. He swears he can see the pleasure running up your spine in the way you arch and shake. Your nails dig into his shoulders, but he’s not in the right mind to care. Your mouth opens, sounds pouring out as you finish. He loves you all the time, but one of his favorite looks on you is when he watches you orgasm—your face so overcome with pleasure he caused…he would never get enough of it.
He keeps moving until he’s sure you’ve come down from your high. When he brings his fingers up to his mouth to suck your juices off, you watch longingly, the dark look in your gaze enough to have his cock twitching in his pants.
You slide off the bed, forcing him to take a couple steps back. He’s not sure what you’re going to do at first. Your struggle to reach your zipper, and as much as he wants to bend you over with the dress still on, he wants to be gentle with you tonight. He doesn’t get to make love to you often, and that’s all he’s going to do tonight.
Instead of watching you attempt to reach it, he turns you around and pulls you to him until your back is against his chest. His hand is splayed out across your stomach, holding you so you feel how hard he is.
“I’m going crazy,” you mutter, dropping your head back. “I need you so bad.”
He moves your hair out of his way, kissing the base of your neck quickly before he unzips you. Moving slowly on purpose, he lets his finger drag along your spine on the way down. You shiver, pushing yourself back into him.
“I’m gonna make love to you.” He finally lets himself bite down on your shoulder as he nudges the straps down. “For the rest of our lives. Nobody but me.”
“Nobody but you,” you respond, allowing the dress to pool at your feet.
He turns you around, hands immediately finding your ass and squeezing it. Within seconds, he has your bra unclasped and across the room. “So beautiful.”
When your hands find his jeans, he doesn’t stop you this time. You push them down his legs, desperate to have him inside you. Once his jeans are off, you palm him through his boxers, and he needs you so badly, that simple touch almost finishes him off. That would’ve been embarrassing.
He takes off the remaining fabric separating you two before leading you over to the bed. You lie in the middle, and he climbs on top of you. He kisses you passionately, tongue already dancing with yours, both of you more than ready. His cock is so hard, he’s only half convinced he won’t cum as soon as he’s in.
He nudges your clit with his leaking tip, moving down to your entrance to apply just enough pressure before pulling away. You whine, desperate for more.
“Chenle, please.”
His head dips down as he continues teasing you, wrapping his lips around your nipple. You whimper, running your fingers through his hair. Having you so desperate for him makes him want to give you everything you’re asking for, but something makes him wait.
“Please,” you cry out, lifting your hips up. “Need you.”
He’s ready to fall apart from you words alone. Pulling away from your chest, he reaches down to line himself up with you. He watches you closely as he pushes his throbbing cock into your quivering pussy. Your eyes roll back as you arch into him.
Your walls swallow him, velvet clamping down on him. He clenches his jaw as he bottoms out and fists the sheets next to your head.
“So perfect,” he whispers, kissing your jawline.
One of his favorite things about you is how unafraid you are to look at him. Pleasure weighs on your eyelids, and you try your best not to close them, but even like this, you never look away.
He’s fully inside you, his cock seated within your fluttering walls. The last thing he wants to do is overwhelm you, so he gently rocks his hips to help you adjust. He kisses you everywhere he can reach.
“You always take me so well,” he praises you, nipping the base of your neck.
He’ll never get over how perfectly he fits between your legs, like this space was made for him.
“Move,” you tell him, smacking his shoulder.
He lets out a soft chuckle, but lowers his mouth to yours as he starts a steady pace. You squeeze him so tight, it’s like your body doesn’t want to let him out of you. He pulls out until his tip is barely inside, and then pushes back in just as slowly. It wreaks havoc on your body, your wetness squelching every time he moves.
He wants you to feel all of him. Feel the entirety of his cock rubbing your walls with every thrust.
Somehow, it’s hotter this way. A thin sheen of sweat covers his skin as he takes his time with you. Sure, he gets sweaty when he fucks you, but nothing compares to the close intimacy of love making—his chest brushing against yours with every thrust, long, sweet moans filling the otherwise quiet bedroom.
“You sing so pretty,” Chenle mutters, tonguing the sensitive spot below your ear. “You like the way I feel?”
Before he can even process what you’re doing, you wrap your legs around his waist and roll until you’re on top of him. He’s flat on his back, eyes flitting along your body like he hasn’t had a real chance to see it yet.
Candle light illuminates your skin, and the sight makes his cock twitch. He runs his hands along your sides, squeezing your hips.
Chenle likes being in control. He likes guiding you in a way that has you both in shambles by the end, and he truly underestimated how beautiful you’d look on top of him. You lift up, teasing him as slow as he was moving with you, but between the sight and the feeling, he feels an all too-familiar tingling sensation at the base of his length.
It’s too soon for him, so he decides to tug you down, holding you there while his eyes close and his head thuds against the mattress. He doesn’t need to say a word to you.
“Chenle.” You stroke a hand down his chest. “It’s okay. You don’t need to hold back for me.”
“Just…need a second.” He gulps.
When he finally catches his breath, he sits up, chest pressing against yours.
“This was supposed to be about you,” he says, moving back slightly to fit his hand between the two of you. “Showing you my love and everything.”
He finds your clit with his thumb, staring at you intently as your wetness makes it easy for him to rub circles. His other hand still firmly grips your waist, which only allows you to squirm instead of bouncing on him like you crave to do.
“I need to move,” you whimper, grinding down. “Please.”
He nods, loosening his grip on you. You brace yourself on his shoulders, finally taking his cock the way you want it. His nails dig into your thigh while he continues his work on your bud, and it only spurs you on. You move faster, no doubt trying to chase your orgasm.
His moans get louder, matching yours. If his hands weren’t so occupied, he’d want to squeeze your ass or tweak your nipples. Anything to bring you higher. He changes the patterns his thumb rubs, and it’s like a jolt of electricity runs through your body.
You curse, dropping your head on his shoulder as you nod. “Don’t stop, Lele.”
With both of you hanging so close to the edge, he waits until you’re sitting back down on his cock to buck his hips up. He doesn’t want to finish first, but he’s so close, all the warning signs of his impending high are getting far too real.
“Gonna cum,” he tells you, releasing your thigh to grab your ass.
Your walls clamp down on him hard, a long, pleasured sound escaping you as you grind down on him. Back arching, your head falls back. Your orgasm hits both you and Chenle like a freight train, and within seconds, everything inside him explodes, and he’s spilling his cum deep inside you while telling you over and over again that he loves you.
You crumple into his chest. He runs his fingers through your hair, whispering praises to you between head kisses.
“I’m gonna lay you down, sunshine,” he says.
You nod, and he turns you so he can put your back on the mattress. He carefully pulls out of you, putting his boxers back on before going into the bathroom to grab you a towel. This is one of his favorite ways to see you. Your eyes are closed, hands on your cheeks. You look like he’s fucked all the energy out of you, and he loves that he has the capability to do that.
He cleans you up, then grabs a clean pair of panties for you and one of his T-shirts.
“I have an idea,” he says.
“What is it?” You wrap your arms around him.
“You pick whatever movie you want, and I’ll go warm up your dinner?” He raises his eyebrows at you.
You fake a gasp. “Are you saying you’re going to feed me in bed?”
“After all of that, I’d agree to just about anything you want.” He chuckles when you shove his shoulder. Grabbing your hand, he twirls the band on your finger. “Wait here for me?”
When he walks out of the room, he stops at the doorway to watch you excitedly lunge for the remote. It doesn’t take long for him to warm up the food, turn off the lights, and blow out the candles in the kitchen.
The rest of the night is spent with the two of you sitting against the headboard, laughing along to your favorite movie while eating your favorite takeout. So many thoughts have come and gone from Chenle’s brain in the past couple days alone, but he’s more than happy he gets to sit here with you every night for the rest of his life.
He’s lost in your laugh and the way you smile at him and how you make his heart race with the simplest things. None of the other members knew about the ring he bought you, but he’ll tell them soon.
After the food is gone, Chenle cleans it up. There’s still half a movie left, so when he gets back, he pulls the comforter back so you can cuddle up to him for the remainder. Even though the candles have long since been put out, vanilla still clouds the air.
“Love you,” Chenle whispers, kissing your temple.
“Love you, too.” You sigh in content, resting your head on his chest.
He knows that means you’re only seconds from sleep, and he rubs your arm soothingly. The movie continues to play, but neither of you are paying attention anymore—you’re asleep, and Chenle’s thinking about what kind of wedding dress you’ll wear.
716 notes · View notes
mechaknight-98 · 19 days
Text
Dominant (NSFW) FT Haseul
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Author’s note: Wanted to experiment a bit so I did a little something for @blanceverlast
"What do you mean I'm a surrogate baby?" I ask my parents.
"Well, JJ, you know we've had fertility issues, so we turned to surrogacy for help," my mom explains, but I narrow my eyes, questioning why this revelation is only surfacing now.
"Well, your 'mom' would like to meet you," my mother adds.
"And what does she do?" I ask, puzzled.
The plane ride to South Korea overwhelmed me; I never imagined my "mom" would be so far away. Yet, surrogacy can originate from anywhere, I suppose. As I sit in the back of the plane, my seatmate approaches.
She wears a mask, yet there's an enchanting aura about her. Smiling (or at least I assume so, judging by her eyes), she sits beside me. The plane takes off, and we sit in silence. Despite my efforts to stay awake, exhaustion eventually overtakes me, and I drift off to sleep.
Upon awakening, I feel a lightweight on my shoulders. I crane my neck to see my seatmate. Her mask has slipped down, revealing her face. As our eyes meet, arousal floods through me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you," she says, smiling.
Enraptured by her beauty, I stumble over my response. "I'd love it if you bothered me. Wait, no... you're no bother."
She smiles and sits up across from me. "Call me Haseul," she says with a pleasant voice. I smile back, extending my hand for her to shake.
"JJ charmed to meet you," I reply. Haseul takes my hand happily.
"So, what brings you to Korea?" she inquires.
I hesitate, searching for an appropriate response. "Um, my surrogate wanted to meet me," I reply. Haseul looks at me, puzzled, before smiling.
"Okay," she says before taking out her tablet. I glance over her shoulder, and she catches me.
"Do you like Kaiju research?" she teases, having caught me off guard. Surprisingly, I enthusiastically replied yes. Haseul's eyes flicker with interest.
"Oh? Then look this over and tell me what you see," she says confidently, handing me the tablet. I study the notes and diagrams, absorbing the information.
"This is a new species of Kaiju," I declare.
Haseul looks surprised. "Wait, how did you deduce all of that from my research?"
"Well, the DNA sequence at the 8th and 24th helix links is wholly different from any other Kaiju in the same family. Plus, if you examine the dorsal plates aligning with the spine, there's an unusual vein structure depicted in them," I explain.
Haseul's eyes widen in astonishment. "How did you notice all of that?"
"I like Kaiju," I admit.
Haseul looks impressed and asks me to go over all the research she just completed. Over the next several hours, we fill the time pouring over her findings. By the end of the flight, we've barely scratched the surface of this new Kaiju she accidentally discovered.
"Shit, we need more time. Hey, when you're done visiting your 'surrogate,' come to this lab," Haseul says as we pack up. She hands me a business card and her personal cell number. As we prepare to go our separate ways upon landing, I notice a dark-skinned woman who sees me and says, "James?" I look at her before Haseul pops up behind me.
"Yuma, you know JJ?" Haseul asks.
"Yes, he's my son," Yuma replies in English before saying something else in Korean that I don't understand.
Haseul's eyes widened as she smiled knowingly. The two women led me to a van, and we all piled in. Yuma remained silent for a while before speaking up, "You're probably hungry, James. Are you in the mood for anything?" she asked hopefully.
I nodded, replying, "Teriyaki Chicken sounds great about now." Haseul burst into laughter, causing Yuma and me to turn to her.
"What's so funny?" I asked. Haseul responded between chuckles, "You really are Yuma’s son. She loves teriyaki chicken as well," teasing with a cheeky smile. I shrugged, and Haseul's smile softened into an unfamiliar emotion. I chuckle as we get the food to go before piling back in the car.
We arrived at the laboratory, and Yuma took me aside to her office. "You’re probably wondering why I brought you here, why I did all of this," she said with a crooked smile similar to mine.
"Well, I just wanted to meet you and talk to you," she explained.
"I carried you to pay for my doctorate in Kaiju studies. I read field books to you while you were in my tummy, watching marathons of Godzilla, and Gamera movies while I studied just to stay awake, and feel you kick. It made me reconsider numerous times if I should give you up, but I was in no space to take care of a child. So I buried my growing feelings and went to term, but recently I have been feeling this gnawing emptiness. Against my better judgment, I reached out to your parents to meet you. I just wanted to hold my baby boy one more time," she said, hugging me tightly.
"A baby boy who's not so baby anymore,"
Yuma said, and I chuckled at her observation. A feeling of safety washed over me, and tears poured from my eyes. Before any other words could be said, a voice interrupted us. A big, burly man entered the room and said, "Excuse me, Yuma, you are needed." My "mom" broke the hug and smiled at me.
As I waited in the office, the door opened, and Haseul popped in. "Oh, great, you're here. Can I get your help with something?" she asked with a mischievous smile. I hesitated but couldn't resist her, so I nodded.
"Good boy," she purred, and I felt a strange sensation as she kissed me. Haseul broke the kiss and smiled. "Good, now you're nice and dumb. I need your help looking over a few charts for me, and I need you not to overthink," she said with authority. My mind was left in a hazy fog as she led me into the room.
I put my headphones in as Haseul sat at her desk and asked me to go over and aggregate some data charts. She handed me a laptop and an Excel sheet, and I diligently compiled and aggregated the numbers she'd asked for, going above and beyond by conducting a qualitative analysis of Kaiju markings and identifying outliers and notable specimens. When my "mom" came to look for me, I'd finished a substantial amount of work.
"Oh, JJ, there you are," she said as she entered the office. I looked up and nodded. She walked over and examined what I was doing, furrowing her brows before turning to Haseul, who was deeply engrossed in her work. A smile crept onto my lips as I watched her. My mom noticed and smirked before addressing Haseul, "Um, excuse me, but I think my son has helped you do half your work."
Haseul looked up at my mom and quickly apologized, "Oh, Mrs. Yuma, I'm so sorry, but JJ has been so helpful."
"I can see that. His notes on your compilation have been extensive," my mom teased. Haseul turned red but quickly pressed on, "It's not just that; he has an almost ocean-deep knowledge of Kaiju."
I shrugged, "I just like them," I responded. Haseul smiled, and I felt that strange sensation again, but this time, it was more intense. My mom noticed and smirked as we headed back to her place. On the way back, she asked me a question I 100% expected.
"Do you like Haseul?" I nodded, and my mom smirked, "Be careful with her," was her only warning. Sadly (but not really), I didn't heed it.
Haseul’s claws (she's a Red Panda Kaijin) were comforting and sexy even before she wrapped them around my throat. She started small with pet names like my puppy or Handsome. Then came some light flirty glances and touches. That's what sealed the deal I was hers. Her little pup to mold and shape how she saw fit. 
This all culminated in the day before I left. I helped her and my mom finish something and Haseul said, “Oh my little pup so dumb but eager to please,” my brain broke and I responded (thankfully my mom wasn't there to hear this)
“Oh please fuck me dumb. Mark me and claim me as yours Haseul,” Haseul smirked at me. Her eyes narrowed as her scent filled my nostrils leaving me lightheaded and aroused. She slipped over to me and sat on my lap. Her voice took on a Saccharine and lurid pitch as she spoke, 
“Oh my needy pup, what makes you think you deserve my touch,” she coos and I moan which turns her smirk into a wicked smile. If it wasn't clear to her before it was now. I am her little pup. I'm only hers to play with and manipulate as she sees fit. One hand palms my hardening cock and the other wraps itself around my throat. She smiles maliciously as my breath hitches and her control over me becomes absolute. She extends her talons enough to draw blood but my horny head only draws a euphoric pleasure from the sensation.
“I could rip your throat out and you'd ask me if you were a good little pet?” she said which elicited another moan from me, “Oh dumb pup I'm going to have fun training you.” Haseul gloated, as she began to stroke my rod.
As she did she licked my blood off of her talons the lurid sight drove me to new heights. After she licked the blood off her talons she licked my neck where she pierced me. I felt the wounds begin to heal as she eyed me with a ravenous hunger before telling me, open your mouth for me pup, and stick your tongue out.” I follow her command and she sucks my tongue while it's out before inching closer until our lips touch and devours me in a kiss. I resign myself to being her prey, she smiles viciously and then abruptly stops. My body jolts at her with a drawl of touch. 
“Later my puppy. I don't want you to make a mess,” Haseul replies. I groan and get up trying to relax and take my mind off of her touch
Before I could walk off Haseul said, “No stay!” I returned to her as she commanded. She smiles. “I trained you so well. What a good boy.” Haseul says with her most proud and soothing tone.
“Sit” Haseul commands and I do. She revels in her power over me. I'm just so happy to see her happy. 
“So here is how it's going to go puppy. I am going to not touch you for the rest of the day but when we get off meet me at my apartment and we will finish what we started,” Haseul said seductively. I nod and she smiles. We get back to work and she says, “Good boy,” 
After I finish my “work” my mom has to stay late and leaves in the care of Haseul. Before I leave my mom gives me a rather large sum of won and says “Treat Haseul well tonight.” I nod and we drive off. I ride with Haseul and ask
“You hungry,” Haseul nods and we decide to head to a nearby restaurant. It's a pizza joint. We get in and I sit with Haseul. I'm nervous as this is a very different level type of intimacy that we haven't shared before. I swallow my nerves and go for the safest compliment I could think of. “Your glasses are great really show off how your eyes are dazzling,” I say. Haseul beams with a shy smile. “Oh, so that's the way to turn the tables,” I tease. Haseul narrows her eyes. 
“Careful pup. I can take you to heaven tonight or leave you in purgatory,” Haseul says bitingly. I smile 
“What so funny?” Haseul asks accusingly. 
“Haseul I'm not trying to do anything funny I just really like you and no it's not just because of all “claiming” you've done. You're witty, compassionate, and gorgeous. Plus you like all the dumb stuff I like. Why would I upset you,” I reply Haseul blushes intensely before our food arrives. We eat in relative silence but Haseul makes sure I'm full and hydrated. She reasons that she wants her puppy to be ready for his walk. We entered her apartment and she excused herself to her bedroom before calling for my help.
And now you're all caught up
“So my pretty Firebear, what would you like to do first,” I ask. Haseul smiles
“Ooh, I like that,” Haseul coos, and our lips meet. 
We break out first kiss and she smiles before pouncing on me. She rips open my pants and shirt before saying, “Be a good little puppy, and let me ride you,” 
 
Haseul takes me inside her and my mind goes blank. She’s so tight. I try to formulate words but she starts to grind her crotch against mine. She leans in closer and says, “Oh my little puppy isn't so little,” I moan at her expert control over my body. Her touch is delicate but powerful. I watch as she sets her hands down and uses me as a tool for her pleasure. 
“How is it,” I ask eagerly to see if I can grant her higher satisfaction Haseul moans out 
“Oh God Puppy you fill me up so well,” I smile seeing Haseul lose herself to the pleasure. Her folds are soft and giving but viciously tight causing the friction between us to become so intense that I can't help but moan out as my mind turns into further slurry. 
Watching me devolve seems to excite Haseul more as she gets tighter.
“Is my needy little puppy gonna cum,” she asks I groan and she laughs, “Come on puppy. Use your words.” 
Haggard, I rasped out (in English ), “fuck take me. claim me as yours!” Haseul smiled 
“Oh I like it when you lose control and your native tongue comes out,” she coos. My cock swells within her as her pussy tightens around me. 
“That's right my little dumb slut to be used and abused,” Haseul said before wrapping her hand around my throat my breathing hitched as the terror and pleasure mixed. I couldn't think straight and just fed into her degradation of me, 
“Yes, I'm your slutty puppy. I'm only good for my cock which doesn’t deserve to cum,” I watch as Haseul's eyes widen at my words. she smiles,
"Yes You're my puppy who only cums when I want him to and you've been such a good puppy," she says moaning as I can feel her near her release. "Now Puppy cum with me," Haseul says while moaning. I groan as her words and her pussy push me to release. we cum together and Haseul Smiles.
"Good puppy," she coos, as we pass out
230 notes · View notes
0cta9on · 2 months
Text
Unlikely Duet - 6
length: +7k words
Genre: Fluff
NewJeans Minji x Male Reader (OC)
(Author's Note: I could've taken another day to edit this, but I wanted to upload it asap so here it is :^) Hopefully my writing isn't too garbage and I hope y'all enjoy <3)
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【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★
Minji’s POV
I could do nothing but pace around my room, anxiety fueling every step. Danielle was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago to drive us to the fair, but on this particular day of all days, she decides to be late. My vice president, the one who I can lean on when I’m overwhelmed with responsibilities and even more of a stickler for rules and punctuality compared to me, is late.
The brunt of my morning was spent avoiding my parents like the plague, staying cooped up in my room and eating my meals as quickly as possible. To them, it probably seems like I’m giving them the silent treatment for what they said last night (which I’m still upset about), but in reality, I was riddled with anxious thoughts and simply avoided speaking in case I accidentally let it slip that I was planning on lying to them. I’ve done it tons of times before, but every single time is nerve wracking. While I hate that it’s gotten to this point, I owe a lot of my sanity to what I’ve been able to get away with by lying. Besides, it’s probably better this way - my parents still believe that I’m their perfect daughter and I still get to have some semblance of a social life.
Like the sonorous tones of a church bell, a resounding ding emits from my phone. They’re here. With shaky hands, I grab my tote bag from my bed and carefully tiptoe down the stairs. Right as I reach the front door, my father calls out to me from the living room.
“Minji? Where are you going?” He asks, a look of curiosity on his face.
“O-oh, uhh, I guess I forgot to tell you this but I was actually planning on going to the library to study with Danielle today.” I grin at him, trying my best to sound convincing. Our eyes lock as he studies my expression for what feels like an eternity. It might just be my stress causing my eyes to play tricks on me, but there seems to be a hint of sadness in his expression, as if he doesn’t want me to go. I shake it off and refocus on the task at hand.
“Well, I better get going-”
“Wait,” he interrupts before leaving the room for a moment. He comes back with a $20 bill in his hands and offers it to me. “Here.”
Panic began to set in. Did he find out I was actually going to the fair? If he did, why would he be giving me money? Shouldn’t he be angry at me for lying to him?
“Um, what’s this for? We’re just going to the library,” I reiterate in hopes that my initial worries were wrong.
“In case you two get hungry after, you should get some snacks. Food fuels the brain.” The relief I felt after he said those words is better than any award I got in my entire academic career up to this point. Normally it would raise red flags for my father to be doing something uncharacteristic like this, but I didn’t care. I’m just glad to almost be free.
“Thanks,” I say as I take the cash. “I’ll see you later then.”
“Don’t stay out too late. Don’t be messing around while studying. And-”
I shut the door behind me before I could hear the rest of his sentence. It was probably some other generic dad advice, like “Don’t talk to strange boys at night” or something like that. The sight of Danielle’s mom’s car parked on the other side of the street was like seeing a boat heading your direction after being stranded on an island for 15 years. Hanni beckoned me from the passenger’s side window, an excited grin painted on her face.
“Hurry up girl, let’s go!!” She shouted. As I open the door to the backseat, Hyein and Haerin wave back at me.
“Hi Minji!”
“Yo.”
“Hi guys, sorry, my dad wanted to talk to me before I left,” I replied as I got in the car. “Danielle, what took you so long, I was pacing around my room for the past 20 minutes anxious out of my mind!”
“I’m sorry, there was something I had to take care of before I could take my mom’s car,” she apologizes as she tampers with the rearview mirror, clearly annoyed with its inability to swivel properly.
Hanni pops her head from the front seat. “Okay y’all, we just need to take a deep breath and calm down. We’re going to the fair to chill out and have fun, let’s not let petty things like this ruin the day before it’s even started, alright?” Haerin and Hyein nod enthusiastically, peering over at me to gauge my reaction. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in order to allow my mind to forget about the stress from my morning. Today is the day that I get to let loose and forget about all the pressures I face in my regular life. Nothing else matters but having fun. As I open my eyes again, I am welcomed by the smiling faces of my four dearest friends (Danielle was especially happy about finally fixing the rearview mirror). My lips curl into a smile as I look back at them.
“Yeah, you’re right, Hanni,” I admit. “Okay, let’s go!!” We all cheer as Danielle steps on the gas. Hanni turns up the radio, blasting a loud pop song that blares out of the windows as we cruise through the neighborhood.
______________________________________________________________
The lights, the sounds, the smells, everything about the fair was overwhelming in the best way possible. Large groups of friends and families meandered along the concrete pathways, talking and laughing as they try their hand at classic carnival games or satiate their hunger with fried food and extravagant sweets. A giant ferris wheel sat in the background, the sunlight peeking through its rotors. A wave of nostalgia washes over me as I’m reminded of old family memories. Before they pressured me into trying to obtain some kind of impossible perfection, I used to be able to exist simply as their daughter, who they loved and played with like any other child.
“Hey Minji, are you okay?” Hyein asks me. I snap out of my thoughts to find the girls looking back at me with concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking about something,” I reassure them. “What do you guys wanna do first?”
“I don’t know Ms. President, what do you wanna do?” Hanni asks with a wide grin.
“Well, I guess we can-”
I freeze as I see a familiar face in the distance, intermingled with the crowd. Yuno is here. With the convenience store girl.
______________________________________________________________
Yuno’s POV
“Where the hell did he run off to?” I grumble as I struggle to search for Yujin in the crowd. The fair was more overwhelming than I could’ve imagined - it was difficult navigating through the sea of strangers without accidentally rubbing elbows with them, all while trying to find oxygen through the constant stench of fried foods and sugar wafting through the air. At the very least, the lights were pretty to look at and I would be lying if I said the ferris wheel didn’t pique my interest.
Winter chuckles at my annoyance. “Relax, he’s just getting a corndog. See, he’s on his way over here right now,” she says, gesturing through a gap in the crowd. Lo and behold, Yujin skips towards us with a corndog in hand and a stupid grin on his face.
“Look what I got!” He presents his fried snack to us with the excitement of a child presenting a drawing to their parents. An ungodly amount of ketchup and mustard drips off the corndog, creating a gross glob of orange on the ground.
“Is that healthy?” Winter asks, concern laced in her voice. Her words fall on deaf ears as Yujin chomps off a large piece, covering his mouth in sauce. I chuckle in disbelief, both deeply disturbed and quietly impressed, while Winter hands him a pack of napkins from her purse.
I take the opportunity to look around at my surroundings again. As I gazed out amongst the crowd of smiling faces, I suddenly felt out of place in it all, like I wasn’t allowed to be here. Everything felt so foreign to me, I wasn’t sure if I should feel at ease or on edge. Whether it’s paranoia or just a hunch, I couldn’t get rid of this nagging feeling at the back of my head.
“Hey Yuno?” Winter nudges me.
I turn my attention towards her. “What?”
“Isn’t that the student council president?”
My heart stops for a split second as I look down the other end of her finger. In the heart of the crowd is Minji, huddled around her friends. She’s wearing a simple outfit of a gray collegiate sweater and jeans, yet my eyes were naturally drawn to her like a magnet.
“Y-yeah, that’s her,” I stutter, trying to maintain composure.
“Mm, issa Danielle? Les go shay hi!” Yujin exclaims with a mouth full of food, running toward them before I could stop him.
“God dammit…”
“What’s wrong, do you not wanna say hi?” Winter asks as we follow the trail through the crowd Yujin left behind.
“It’s not that, it’s just… Whatever, let’s just go.” With every step I take, my heart rate begins to accelerate as, once again, fate pulls me towards Minji Kim.
______________________________________________________________
Minji’s POV
He’s coming this way!! Why is he coming this way?? Did he see me? Should I run? No, why would I run? Pull it together, Minji!! Maybe if I pretend I didn’t see him, he’ll just walk past me. Why would I do that?? Agh!!
“Ketchup… and mustard,” Haerin blurts out, drawing puzzled glances from the group. Suddenly, a boy wearing a white eyepatch emerges from the crowd, carrying a corndog smeared with red and yellow condiments.
“Danielle!!” He calls out, waving excitedly. “Hi!”
“Yujin? What are you doing here?” Danielle questions, a hint of surprise present in her voice.
“I’m with my friends!” The boy, Yujin, exclaims as Yuno and the convenience store girl appear behind him, drawing an impish grin from Hanni. I couldn’t help but feel underdressed when compared to convenience store girl’s flowery sundress and cardigan. “I didn’t expect to see you here too! This is great!”
“Uh yeah, I guess it is,” Danielle responds awkwardly before turning to us. “Um, this is Yujin, I’ve been helping him and his grandma out recently.”
“We’re friends!” He adds enthusiastically.
“Yeah, I suppose we are.” 
I couldn’t help but giggle at Danielle’s uncharacteristic awkwardness. Normally, she’s the serious voice of reason that stays calm under pressure, yet here she was, looking like an embarrassed older sister flustered by the antics of her younger sibling.
“It’s nice to meet you, Yujin,” I greet warmly. “I’m Minji, also a friend of Danielle’s.”
“Oh, you must be the student council president!” He replies eagerly. “These are my friends, Yuno and Winter. Yuno might look a little scary, but don’t worry, he only fights bad guys. He helped me and Winter out before! And Winter is really shy, but she’s really nice once you get to know her!”
“H-hello,” Winter stutters with a polite smile, while Yuno offers a simple nod. A flush of warmth colors my cheeks as our eyes briefly meet before we both quickly avert our gazes. Unfortunately, Hanni notices this and stifles a laugh, making my cheeks grow even warmer with embarrassment.
“Hello, I’m Hyein!” Our youngest chimes in. “This is Haerin, and that over there is Hanni! It’s nice to meet you all!”
As the group falls into casual conversation, I can’t help but peer over at Yujin’s eyepatch and be reminded of my conversation with Yuno last night. Despite his injuries, he’s chock full of energy and vibrancy that contrasts with Yuno’s usual solitary and soft-spoken demeanor. The difference in their personalities is cute in a way. Winter, on the other hand, shares many similarities with Yuno. Like him, she’s very soft-spoken and a little awkward, but has an aura of kindness around her despite that. I imagine the two of them got along well because of this - for some reason, this fact irks me.
“Since we’re all here to let loose at the fair, why don’t you guys join us? The more the merrier I always say, isn’t that right, Minj?” Hanni says, nudging my ribs with her elbow. I didn’t even have to look at her to know what kind of face she’s making. 
Coincidentally, my eyes meet Yuno’s once again, and I quickly break away as I think of what to say. I would hate to butt into Yuno’s time with his friends, but a voice in the back of my head was telling me otherwise.
“Yeah, you guys can join us if you want to,” I say as I give into the voices. My lips curl into a smile, but inside, I couldn’t shake the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Yuno appears taken aback at my answer as a slight pinkish hue grows on his cheeks. The group moves through the crowd looking for what to do first with Yujin leading the way and Yuno trailing close behind. I stay in the back, letting my complicated feelings fester.
“H-hello, Minji.” Winter’s soft voice interrupts my thoughts, and I turn to find her trailing behind the group alongside me. Her simple makeup look is subtle, yet it perfectly accentuated her natural beauty. Pair that with her cute outfit and she could have any guys she wants. A shiver went through my spine at the thought.
“What’s up?” I ask, trying my best to act natural.
“I just wanted to ask if you’re doing okay. I never got the chance to after what happened that night.”
My mind flashes back to when Yuno and Winter had saved me from that drunk man a couple days ago. I was too terrified and too weak to protect myself, yet this timid girl jumped in front of him to protect me. And here I am, feeling all weird because I think she looks prettier than me.
“I’m doing fine now. Thanks again for that, I owe you one,” I express.
She quickly shakes her head at my offer. “Y-you don’t have to do that. If you want, I can give you a can of pepper spray. I have a couple more of them at home.”
A chuckle escapes my lips, and Winter seems to loosen up at this. “I might have to take you up on that offer,” I say, half-jokingly. A wave of shame washes over me as I suddenly felt bad for being jealous of her. Maybe the events of this morning still have their effects on me or maybe I ate something bad earlier, but something feels off with me today and I’m not sure why.
“Guys, look over here!” Yujin shouts excitedly from the front of the group, pointing at a giant Spider-man plush sitting on a prize table for a basketball game. Two basketball hoops stood tall before him, much higher than a regular basketball hoop. “I HAVE to get this for my room!” He quickly pays the game attendant, who places three basketballs on the counter in front of him.
“Alright, the game is simple. All you have to do is make at least one basket and you get a prize,” the worker explains. Yujin takes the first ball and psyches himself up, giving the ball a couple dribbles before throwing it… And completely missing the hoop.
“Aw man,” he groans in disappointment. “Yuno, why don’t you try?”
Yuno accepts the challenge, gripping the second ball with steely determination. I watch with bated breath as the ball leaves his hands. It soars high into the sky… and completely misses the hoop. The ball shoots way over the hoop and ends up knocking a corndog out of someone’s hand. The girls and I struggle to stifle our laughter as Yuno’s cheeks turn a bright red.
“A-ah… Shit…” He curses under his breath. “M-maybe Winter should try…”
Winter steps forward, her hands shaking as she grips the final ball. We all freeze with anticipation as she shoots the ball towards the hoop. Miraculously, it arcs perfectly in the air and lands through the hoop with a satisfying swoosh. A scattered array of claps and cheers erupt from some bystanders that witnessed that moment, but none are as ecstatic as Yujin, who jumps and cheers with the excitement of a kid on his birthday.
“Congratulations, ma’am! Which prize would you like?” The worker asks her.
“T-the Spiderman p-please,” Winter stammers, accepting the toy and handing it to Yujin.
“Ahhh!!! Winter, you’re the best!!!” He screams, drawing a variety of reactions from passersby. Yuno flashes her a quick thumbs up while Hyein, Haerin, and Hanni shower her with compliments, which Winter modestly tries to brush away with a bashful smile. Meanwhile, Danielle is occupied with trying to contain Yujin’s overflowing energy.
“M-my dad really likes basketball, so he made me play w-when I was younger. I-it’s nothing really,” Winter explains. She’s kind, pretty, AND athletic? It’s almost as if God himself created the perfect person and placed them in front of me on a day I decided not to dress up. There’s no wonder I felt jealous of her. But why am I jealous of her?
“Are you okay?” Yuno asks me.
I startle slightly at his sudden appearance. “H-huh? Yeah, why?” I awkwardly chuckle. Yuno’s gentle gaze meets mine with genuine concern, momentarily distracting myself from my swirling thoughts. I found myself wanting to draw closer and get lost in his irises.
What?! Minji, what are you even thinking?! Have you gone insane?!
“You look… upset,” he admits shyly. “I just wanted t-”
Suddenly, a basketball bounces off of the other hoop and hurtles towards Winter. In a flash, Yuno turns and catches the ball right before it hits her in the face, his gentle expression replaced with a stern glare at the person who threw the ball.
“Watch it,” he growls in a calm yet menacing tone as he tosses the ball back. His face immediately softens as he turns back to Winter. “You alright?”
“Y-yeah. Thanks, Yuno,” she answers with an appreciative smile. I felt my heart drop from my chest as I watched their interaction, confusion and envy creating a storm in my mind.
“Sooooooo, you gonna make a move or no?” I jump as Hanni startles me from behind.
“W-what??” I sputter.
“I recognize that face anywhere. You’re jealous~.” 
Heat creeps up my face as I struggle to find the words to explain myself. “Wha- I am not jealous!” I seethe, trying to keep my voice down. “I’m just… impressed by his reaction timing.”
“Mhm,” she hums, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I’m impressed by how close they look. Don’t you think they would make a cute couple, Minj?”
Her words leave a bitter taste in my mouth. “Y-yeah, I’m sure they would,” I reply, unconvincingly. “W-whatever, like I said I’m not jealous.”
“Oh sweet, sweet Minji,” Hanni sighs, shaking her head as she pats my shoulder. She follows the rest of the group as they move on, leaving me to watch Yuno and Winter as they walk side by side. No matter how hard I try, I can't rationalize this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see them together. I need to do something, but I don’t know why.
______________________________________________________________
We spent the next hour walking around, playing all the fair games, and filing our stomachs with an array of different snacks the fair offers. I tried to enjoy myself, but the pit in my stomach continued to grow and grow until it became unbearable. I even started to consider Hanni’s words, but no amount of inner turmoil would make me go that insane. 
As the sun dipped low, casting an enchanting orange hue over the fairgrounds, it seemed like the perfect time to watch the sunset from atop the ferris wheel. As excited as I am to be able to watch the sunset, I still couldn’t get rid of this weird feeling as I watched Yuno chat with Winter and Yujin at the front of the group. Hanni seemed to notice this too.
“Girl, you look miserable,” she remarks, resting her chin on my shoulder with a sympathetic pout. “You’re supposed to be having fun.”
“I-I am having fun. This is my ‘having fun’ face.” I flash her a forced grin in a feeble attempt to mask my true feelings. Hanni sighs heavily right as we reach the front of the line.
“Each cabin only fits two people, so you’ll have to split into groups of two,” the ride operator explains. Naturally, Hyein and Haerin pair up together, waving excitedly at us as they eagerly step into the first cabin.
“Yuno, do you wanna ride together?” Yujin asks him. Before he could answer, however, Hanni takes matters into her own hands and pushes Danielle into Yujin.
“Hey Yujin, did you know Danielle is really scared of heights? She needs a big strong man protecting her while she’s up there.” Danielle silently curses at her with her eyes as Hanni pushes the duo into the next cabin. My eyes go wide with panic as I suddenly catch onto her plan.
“Winter, I love your dress! Let’s chat about it on the ferris wheel!” Hanni exclaims as she grabs Winter’s hand, pulling her towards the open doors of the cabin. Right before the doors close behind them, I catch a glimpse of Hanni flashing me a thumbs up. My heart threatened to explode from my chest as I found myself left alone with Yuno. 
“S-soooooo… U-um, do you wanna, um, I-I gues-”
“Let’s go,” Yuno utters as walks ahead of me into the cabin. I mentally facepalm, cringing at my sudden inability to formulate a coherent sentence. I step into the cabin and sit across from Yuno. As the doors seal shut, the space suddenly felt a lot smaller and more intimate. I gaze out at the orange glow of the sun to distract myself, both mortified and oddly blissful.
______________________________________________________________
Yuno’s POV
My heart kept chugging like a speeding steam train, I worried that Minji could hear it echo off the walls of the cabin. Throughout the day, I could feel her gaze lingering on me and I don’t know why. Did she wanna talk about yesterday? Was something on her mind? Was there something in my hair? Did I smell? I would’ve showered before I left the house if I knew I was gonna bump into her.
A strange feeling fills my chest as I observe the way the sunlight reflects off of her skin. The same feeling that had been haunting me for the past couple of days. Minji constantly invades my thoughts, stirring emotions I couldn’t comprehend. Everything about her felt new and strange, but I couldn’t deny that being around her made me feel happy. I drop my gaze to the floor as she turns to me, hoping she didn’t catch me staring.
“Sooo…” She began, filling the silence. “Winter seems nice.”
I tilt my head in confusion at her sudden interest in Winter. “Uh, yeah. I guess so.”
“How’d you two meet?” She asks with an odd amount of intrigue
For the most part, Minji is an open book. I never have to guess what she’s thinking or feeling, and unlike her parents, she never seems to be hiding some ulterior motive beneath a gentle exterior - until now. At first, I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, but being the open book she is, it became clear as day that Minji was hiding something. But why? Maybe it wasn’t my place to pry, but my instincts told me otherwise.
“We have english together, but we didn’t start being… ‘friends’ until a couple days ago. She and Yujin kinda just… inserted themselves into my life. And now we’re here,” I explain. Minji’s brow furrows in response.
“Wait, you only started talking a couple days ago? I thought you two were dating.” She hurriedly clasps her hand over her mouth as if she didn’t mean to let that out. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“We’re not dating,” I say a little too quickly. “Just friends.”
The cabin falls silent as both of our cheeks turn a light crimson. Minji turns back to the window, and my eyes gravitate towards her face once again as if that’s where they’re meant to be. The light and the shadows dance on her skin creating a work of art right in front of me. She’s beautiful in the most impossible way, defying everything I know about the world just by existing. My heart pumps faster and faster as my mind begins to run wild, imagining the two of us together as more than friends. Going on dates and being close. Just like this. Maybe Minji wanted to know if Winter and I were dating because she’s interested in me. I quickly shot that idea down. Those kinds of thoughts only lead down a bad road.
“My parents used to take my brother and I to the fair when we were younger,” Minji says, snapping me out of my daze. “We would go around and play all the games, trying to win the prizes. The games were always rigged, so we never won any. One time, I got so upset that I couldn’t win a bear toy that I started crying. My dad ended up paying extra just so he could get me the bear.” A gentle smile graces her face as she recounts her memory.
“We would always ride the ferris wheel at the end so we could watch the sunset from the top of the ferris wheel, just like this. I was always too short, so my dad had to hoist me up so I could see through the window.” She chuckles lightly before her smile eventually fades from her lips and her gaze falls to the floor. “Sorry, being here must have made me nostalgic. It’s been awhile since I got to watch the sunset from a ferris wheel.”
“Don’t be sorry. I like hearing you talk.” My eyes grow wide with panic as I realize the implication of my words. “I-I meant I like you. I MEAN YOUR STORY!! I liked your story…” My face falls into my palms in an attempt to hide the deepening blush, and I let out a muffled “Fuck” under my breath. I can hear Minji trying to stifle her laughter, which only makes me feel worse. I wanted nothing more than to bury myself six feet under and stay there for eternity.
“I know what you mea- AHHH!!!”
I jolt my head up right as Minji jumps from her seat and into my lap. Bewilderment, accompanied by a million other emotions, runs through my mind as she wraps her arms around my head and hides her face in the crook of my neck.
“M-Minji, uhh w-what are you-”
“There’s a spider on the seat!” She exclaims, her voice tingling with fear. I maneuver my head around her and see the tiniest spider I’ve ever seen scurrying around the spot where Minji once sat. “Ahhh, I really hate spiders!!”
I try to pry her body off of me, but her grip is tighter than an anaconda. A wave of deja vu washes over me as I suddenly start to feel lightheaded.
“M-Minji… Y-you’re choking m-me…” Right before I feel like I’m about to blackout, Minji releases her grip on my neck and slides off of my lap into the space next to me. The seat is a little cramped, but it’s better than dying in such an embarrassing way.
“I-I’M SO SORRY, YUNO!!” She apologizes, her face a bright tomato red. She flinches as the spider continues to move around on the opposite seat, wincing with each movement. “I-I really, really, really, REALLY hate spiders.”
Even after she almost choked me to death, I couldn’t help but find her cute as she shields her eyes with delicate hands, her face nestled into my shoulder. A grin threatens to grow on my lips as I try to comfort her with a few gentle pats on the head.
“I used to be afraid of spiders when I was a kid,” I began in a calming tone. “Whenever I saw one, I always cried to my parents about it. One day, I found one in the bathroom, so I ran to my mom sobbing and told her to kill it. Instead of killing it, she held me in her arms and carried me to the bathroom where it was. I was just like you, hiding my face on her shoulder because I was too scared to even look at it. In a gentle voice, she told me about how it was alone and probably looking for its family. If I killed it, then its family would be sad. She told me that she would be sad if I was suddenly killed when I was out all alone. From that day on, I was never afraid of spiders. Every time I saw one, I would carry it outside so it could find its family.” 
I chuckle under my breath. “I don’t think it actually works like that, but I don’t kill spiders because of her. Because of my mom.”
As I finish my story, I notice Minji’s eyes watering and her lip quivering as if she’s about to cry. “Ah shit, are you okay?” I ask with great concern.
“S-Sorry, that was just… really sweet,” she sniffles. I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile as I simultaneously fought the urge to wipe her tears away. As she calms down, we sit together in silence, watching the tiny spider walk around the cabin.
“He’s just a little guy,” Minji utters, a cute grin on her face. “I wonder why I was so scared of you before.”
Just then, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I open up the notification to see a selfie of Yujin and Danielle with the giant Spiderman plush wedged in between them. Despite Danielle’s awful personality, Yujin seems to like her, so I guess it’s alright. If I didn’t know any better, I could’ve easily mistaken them for siblings.
“Aww, that’s cute. We should send one back,” Minji suggests, her eyes lighting up. 
“O-oh, uh, sure. How do I…” After a minute of hopelessly fumbling through the labyrinth of options on the screen, Minji gently takes the phone from me and opens up the camera with a simple tap.
“Do you know how to use a phone, Yuno?” She teases.
“U-uh, no…” I answer, scratching the back of my head in embarrassment. Her eyes widened with surprise at my response. “It’s my first phone, and I just got it today so I haven’t really had a chance to properly look through it.”
“O-okay, well just press on this gray square over here if you wanna open up the camera,” she explains in a kind tone, free of any judgment. She raises her arm and I can see the two of us reflected onto the screen. “Scoot a little closer so we can both be in the frame.”
With a gulp, I scoot closer to her in the already cramped space. The flowery scent of her hair wafts through my nostrils, gentle and clean. Hypnotized by the scent, I don’t realize I’m staring at her until she nudges me with her elbow.
“Look at the camera,” she reminds me, a knowing smile playing on her lips. The phone camera manages to catch the redness of my cheeks as I glance back at my reflection. Minji snaps a few shots before reviewing her work.
“They came out pretty well, don’t you think?” She inquires, and I can only nod in agreement, despite my less-than-stellar appearance in the photos. Minji, on the other hand, looks as pretty as ever. Even when she’s not doing much, the camera seems to pick up on all her good sides. She fiddles with my phone for a little bit before handing it back to me.
“Here, I put my number in so you can send me the photos,” she says. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“N-not at all,” I stutter excitedly, my heart soaring in the air. Minji giggles at my elation and we share a laugh in that cramped ferris wheel cabin. In that moment, as the sunset bathes us in its warm glow, everything falls into place. The weird feelings, the incessant thoughts - they all lead to one undeniable truth. I’m in love with Minji Kim.
______________________________________________________________
As I step out of the cabin, I see the rest of our friends waiting for us at the front of the ferris wheel. Instinctively, I reach my hand out towards Minji as she carefully steps out, which she accepts with a small grin adorning her lips. Though the contact is brief, the memory of her delicate hand in mine etches itself into my memory.
“Soooooo, did you two have fun?” Hanni asks us with an unnerving smirk that could only mean trouble. Before I get a chance to answer however, Minji grabs her wrist and leads her away.
“I-I’m going to the bathroom, Hanni you’re coming with me!” Her voice echoes as she drags Hanni away, trailed by the rest of her friends like ducklings following their mother. Perplexed, Winter, Yujin, and I settle onto a nearby bench to rest in the shade.
“The ferris wheel was fun, I took a lot of pictures of the sunset!” Yujin shares, displaying the photos on his phone. Almost his entire gallery was full of sun from slightly varying angles, along with a few selfies with Danielle. Her gentler side she exclusively shows to Yujin is such a stark contrast from her usual coldness, it’s almost unsettling.
“I feel exhausted.” Winter slumps beside me, her head tilting to the side as if she was too tired to even hold it up. “Hanni is really nice, but I felt so drained after talking to her for five minutes. I don’t know where she gets all that energy from.” I quietly snicker to myself. That seems on brand for Hanni.
My mind wanders back to the epiphany I had earlier. “Um, can I ask you two something… odd?” Their heads perk up, looking at me expectantly. “Have you guys ever… ‘dated’ anyone before?”
“I’ve had crushes before, but I was always too scared to confess,” Yujin admits.
“What about you, Winter? Have you ever had a boyfriend?” I ask.
“Um, not exactly…” With a hint of reluctance, she retrieves her phone from her purse, revealing a polaroid tucked in her phone case -  a snapshot of Winter with her arms wrapped around a girl with striking eyes and jet black hair.
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Both of our jaws drop, simultaneously shocked and impressed.
“Oh shit…” I mutter before coming to my senses. She’s pretty, but not Minji pretty.
“Wow, that’s your girlfriend, Winter?!” Yujin exclaims. Winter smiles shyly as she puts her phone back in her purse.
“Y-yeah. She’s studying in Japan right now, so I don't get to see her often. I hope she visits soon; I think you guys would get along with her really well.” The look on her face as she thinks of her girlfriend reminds me of my mother’s face in old wedding photos. I don’t understand anything about love or relationships, but that face told me everything I needed to know. “Why did you want to know, Yuno?”
My cheeks suddenly turn warm. “Oh, uh… No reason.”
As if on cue, Minji and the rest of her friends return from the restroom, with Minji looking noticeably flustered and Hanni more excited than ever.
“It’s getting dark, so we were planning on heading back,” Danielle says. “Do you guys need a ride home?”
“O-oh, it’s okay, w-we were gonna take the subway home,” Winter replies.
“WAIT!” Yujin shouts suddenly before turning to her. “Winter, can we ride with them? Pleaseeeeee?” He grabs her sleeve and looks up at her with pleading eyes. 
“I-I guess if it’s okay with them.” “WOOHOO!” Yujin cheers. “I call shotgun!” He dashes toward the parking lot, his Spiderman plush bobbing in his arms.
“Hey, that’s my seat!” Hanni exclaims, running after him. In the midst of commotion, I sneak over to Minji.
“H-hi,” I stutter, brimming with nervous excitement.
“H-hey.” Even with the sun completely set, her smile manages to illuminate everything around us. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but the air felt different compared to the times we’ve talked before. That strange yet euphoric feeling still lingers in my chest, this time I finally know what that feeling is - I think. Maybe it’s love, maybe it’s the fumes of fried food decaying my brain. The only thing I know for sure is that I like being around Minji.
“Are you two going to come with us or no?” Hyein calls out to us while Haerin glares suspiciously in our direction. Flustered, we walk side by side towards the parking lot, following distantly behind the rest of the group. The scattered murmurs of the crowd begin to fade behind us, the chirping of crickets and the subtle crunching of rocks underneath our feet taking their place. An ombre of growing indigo looks down at us from a cloudless sky, dotted with specks of starlight thousands of lightyears away. Despite their distance, they shine brightly against the night sky, almost as bright as the girl walking next to me.
“Yuno,” Minji voice breaks through my daydreams, pulling me back to the present. “You’re staring.”
“Ah… Sorry…” I turn my head away to hide the heat creeping up my face, prompting a soft giggle from her.
“You know, you’re not what I expected at all.”
Curious, I turn my gaze back towards her. “What do you mean?”
Her eyebrows furrow as she thinks about her response, and I bite my lower lip to stifle my smile at her cute expression. “Ever since sophomore year, I’ve always heard whispers about this scary guy that goes around fighting people. I never believed it because I thought it was too cliche to be true,” she begins, shooting me a playful glance I scratch the back of my head, suddenly feeling sheepish. 
“That is, until two years later, when I come face to face with the ‘scary guy’, all bloody and bruised from a fight that happened two seconds ago. When I first met you, I thought you were some jerk who liked hurting others for the fun of it. I was wrong and I’m sorry.” Minji looks up at me, eyes full of remorse. I’ve seen others use this look on the people I’ve hurt, but never on me. To be on the receiving end of it felt disconcerting.
“You don’t have to apolog-”
“You’re kind and caring and you never hesitate to stand up for what’s right even when no one else will. While I don’t agree with your methods, I think the reason why you fight is very admirable, and if people just stopped being scared of you for two seconds, they could see how cute of a person you are.” Her hand shoots up to her mouth while her eyes go wide with panic.
Did I hear her right? Did she just call me… cute??
“I MEANT GOOD!!” She exclaims, correcting herself. “I meant to say you’re a good person…” We stand there, turned away from each other, too embarrassed to fill the growing silence. The chorus of crickets is quickly drowned out by my heartbeat echoing in my ears. My entire body feels both uncomfortably warm and freezing cold at the same time. The sudden honk of a car horn makes us both jump. 
“What are you two still doing? Let’s go!” I turn to see Hanni yell at us from the back seat of an SUV. It seems that Yujin got to the front seat first. Minji and I both trudge towards the car, too embarrassed to even look at each other. Hanni steps out of the car and reclines the seat forward to let us get into the back, where Winter is sitting alone with two empty seats on either side of her. 
As we settle in the back seat, I immediately shut my eyes, hoping that falling asleep would make things better. One final thing stays in my mind as I slip into unconsciousness.
She thinks I’m cute.
______________________________________________________________
A gentle shake rouses me from my slumber.
“Yuno, we’re here,” I hear Winter say as my eyes slowly open, finding my bearings. Outside the window, I see the convenience store where Winter works at.
“Winter said you guys live around here, so I hope you don’t mind,” Danielle explains from the front seat. Minji and Hanni step out of the car, allowing for Winter and I to exit.
“See you guys around,” Hanni says, waving goodbye. My eyes meet Minji’s momentarily before we swiftly break away. Not even a second of eye contact and I can already feel my body temperature rising.
“Thanks for the ride! Byeeeeee!” Yujin exclaims as the car disappears down the street. The three of us say our goodbyes to each other before we go our separate ways.
A flurry of emotions fills my stomach as I look back on the oddly eventful day. What started as an excuse to get out of the house turned into my first time at the fair, with Minji no less. I couldn’t help but feel like I’m in some surreal dream and that I’ll wake up one day to find out that none of this ever happened. As odd as all of this feels, I have to admit that I did enjoy it. The ferris wheel especially was… fun.
As I enter my house, I see my dad sitting on the couch, watching some sitcom on the TV. Right. I completely forgot he’s “different” now.
“Hey, Yuno,” he greets, a bright smile on his face. It’s the first time in a while that I’ve seen his smile. “Did you eat? There’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry. I tried to cook dinner, but it didn’t turn out right.” A hearty chuckle leaves his lips, a sound that I vaguely remember hearing years ago. 
“I’m good. Thanks,” I say as I head towards the stairs. As my foot lands on the first step, a sudden impulse arises within me. “Uh, dad?”
“Hm?” His eyebrows perk up as he looks at me expectantly. I had no idea what I was planning on saying to him. Should I tell him about my day? Should I apologize? Should I tell him about my… “crush”? Is that what that is?
“Uh… Nevermind.” I hurry up the stairs, deciding against saying anything. My head was already filled to the brim with confusing emotions, I didn’t need to add more to the pile. I collapse onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling, the events of today playing in my mind like a broken record. I pull my phone out, fidgeting with the shiny piece of metal in my hand. Minji put her number in my phone. I can talk to her whenever I wanted to. And I do want to. My thumbs freeze right above the keyboard as I figure out what to say to her.
Maybe I should keep it simple with “Hey”. No, that’s too boring. How about “How are you feeling?” What am I, her doctor? Uhhh, maybe “I had fun today.” That’s stupid. Come on, think, Yuno, think. Fuck, I’m shit at this.
Is this what having a crush feels like? This sucks.
______________________________________________________________
Minji’s POV
“AGHHHHHHHHH!!!!” I scream into my pillow, hoping I don’t accidentally alert my parents to my “Teenage Angst”.
Minji!!! Why did you call him cute!? I mean, you’re not wrong, the way he got all embarrassed after missing the basketball hoop was kinda cut- WHAT!? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING RIGHT NOW!? ARGHHHHHH!!!
I hold onto my bear toy for comfort as I wrestle with the conflicting emotions in my head. Maybe this is just a result of all the stress from prom preparation clouding my judgement and sending me into a whirlwind of confusion. A day that was supposed to be full of leisure and enjoyment was instead full of jealousy and confusion. It wasn’t entirely bad though; riding the ferris wheel with Yuno was… nice. I feel my heart flutter in my chest as I recall that memory. Surely, Hanni’s teasing couldn’t be right… could it? Am I… in love with Yuno Lin?
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princessconsuela120 · 4 months
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☾ SUNNY DAYS ☾
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—☾
Request: Hey, could you write a remus x reader, childhood bestfriend? Maybe it was unrequited at first (by remus) then they got into a fight and he slowly started realizing?
Warnings: cursing, fighting, angst
Author’s note: I loved this request so much. I’m sorry to everyone who sent in requests, I’ve been really only in the mood to write for Harry Potter atm so it’s taking me a while to find inspo for the others. Enjoy guys!
—☾
FOR AS LONG AS YOU COULD REMEMBER, Remus John Lupin had been your one saving vice. Growing up, your mothers both met each other at a pilates class nonetheless, quickly becoming college best friends. Coincidentally, they both met their future husbands at the train station in London, when they were traveling to work. It was a surprise to both of them when they realized they were pregnant with you and Remus at the same time, let alone that the two of you would be wizards.
You both boarding the train to Hogwarts together, met the marauders together, and even managed to share majority of your schedules. But life didn’t get easier for you after going to Hogwarts. Student were mean, and people stuck their chins out at people born from muggle parents. For Remus it was easier to look the other way, considering he had enough to deal with as is. But for you it was harder.
Not only did you get teased for your blood status, but you soon realized that your friendship with Remus was growing to be more. You couldn’t love him like that, he was your best friend. Yet you did. He owned all your heart in the palm of his hand, and worst of all he didn’t even know.
“The more you stare at him, the more obvious it is that you're totally whipped.” Marlene teased, raising an eyebrow at you as she took the horklump juice from your hand, not wanting you to cause an explosion due to your daydreams.
“I’m not staring. I was just, seeing if I was doing it right.” You defended yourself, shaking yourself out of your daydream, your lips curling to a smile when you caught sight of Remus laughing at something James had said.
“Right, cause you meant to almost pour the whole bottle into the cauldron.” She gestured for you to look down, noticing the many ingredients you had almost incorrectly added, causing you to groan as you shook yourself back to her.
“Sorry I just, sorry.” You mumbled in response, looking down with a sigh.
“Y/n, come on.” She sighed, handing you a ladle to mix the potion. “This is torture seeing you like this.” She said, smiling sympathetically as you nodded.
“I know, I know. I just, I can’t do anything about it Marls. He’s my best friend, he could never feel that way about me.” You explained, shaking your head as you moved back to continue adding to your potion.
“Sunny, Marlene.” Remus greeted, your heart fluttering at the nickname. Ever since he found out you were in Hufflepuff, he gave you the nickname if sunny. Not just for your yellow clothes, but for the sunshine you give off. “May I steal this one real quick?” He turned to Marlene, making her nod.
“She’s all yours.”
“What’s up?” You asked, following him over to where you needed to get more ingredients.
“Well, I know the Yule ball is coming up…” he said, earning a nod from you.
“It is? Do you need help asking someone?” You suggested, digging through the budget for some billywig stings.
“Actually, I was going to ask you.” You turned over to look at him so quickly, you almost spilled the whole jar.
“Really?”
“I know, I know, it’s not romantic. But, well, James is bringing Lily, and Sirius can’t decide between the three girls he’s taking. Even Peter is bringing someone. I don’t want to be alone.” He explained, making your heart drop slightly.
“So you want to take me, so you won’t be alone?”
“Exactly. Do you accept?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at you excitedly, making you nod.
“Of course I’ll go with you Remus.” You accepted, making Remus smile as you both began walking back to your tables. Marlene smirked at you, to which you waved her off, not feeling like getting into detail over the fact that you had just been ultimately friendzoned.
—☾
YOU HAD BEEN CASUALLY WALKING AROUND HOGWARTS, your books tightly held in your hands as you made your way to care for magical creatures. As your walk continued, you ran into none other than Gideon Prewitt, a wide smile in his face as he came up to you.
“Y/n, hey.” He greeted kindly, making you smile back at him.
“Gideon, hi how are you?” You asked, a slight flirtatious smirk adorning his face.
“I’m lovely, how are you?”
“Good, good. What can I do for you?” You asked. You seemed to have a confident walk to him, which made it nice to be around.
“Well, I understand the Yule ball is coming up.” He suggested, making you squeal slightly with excitement.
“Yes, I can’t wait. I just got my dress yesterday.” You cheered excitedly, making Gideon nod happily.
“Perfect. Just let me know what color, and we’ll be on our way.”
“Why do you need to know the color?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at him as he chuckled nervously.
“I guess I should have started with this, Y/n L/n, you are the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts. I would be honored if you would attend the Yule ball with me.” He said, handing you a red rose he had been hiding behind his back.
You’d be lying if you said his words didn’t give you butterflies. You couldn’t help but blush at the compliment.
“Oh, Gideon that’s really sweet…”
“She’s going with me.” Remus growled lowly, interrupting you before you could finish, making you press your lips together nervously.
“Oh, Remus, I’m sorry dude. I thought you guys were just friends.” Gideon said, raising his hands defensively.
“We are, we’re going as friends.” Remus grumbled, making Gideon chuckle awkwardly.
“Oh, um. Okay. Well, Y/n, if you want to go with someone for real, my offer still stands.” He said with a wink, before turning and leaving towards the Gryffindor common room. Remus scoffed loudly, rolling his eyes as he began walking beside you.
“What’s with that guy huh?” He hissed, making you shrug.
“I don’t know, it was kinda sweet. He got me this rose and all.” You smelt the rose, a slight blush coming on your cheeks as you did.
“Are you seriously considering going with him? You already agreed to go with me.”
“Yeah as friends Remus. Maybe, I don’t know, maybe I want to have a romantic night with someone who wants to be there with me.” You explained, causing Remus to stop in his tracks, grabbing your shoulders so you’d look at him.
“I wanna be there with you.” He said, a slight frown on his face as he did.
“You know what I mean, Remus. Like, I don’t know, someone who likes me that way.”
“What, is he everything you ever wanted, y/n?” He asked bitterly, making your face twitch with anger. You pointed a finger at him, your face contorting with hurt.
“Remus, you’re being mean. Stop.” You spoke angrily, your voice breaking as you brows furrowed with hurt.
“This is bull shit.” He shouted, throwing his arms to his sides angrily.
“Remus!” You yelled, taken aback by his temper.
“No! You agreed to go with me, now, what, you change you’re mind cause Prewit gave you a rose?”
“Remus, I am so sick and tired of chasing after you! I’m not going with you for pity!” You shouted, now angry with the boy, catching him off guard.
“It’s not pity, it’s a school dance y/n!” He yelled in response, angry by your outburst.
“I don’t care! I have loved you, all my life.” You shouted, quieting down slightly, not expecting to have admired that, but not caring at the same time.
“What?”
“Remus, I’m so tired, okay? I can’t just keep waiting here for you, in the hopes that maybe one day you’ll like me back.” You pinched your forehead with frustration, ignoring the longing look Remus gave you.
“You like me?” He asked, making you scoff.
“Oh come on, it’s obvious is it not? Remus, I will always love, just, I can’t keep waiting for you. It breaks my heart.”
Before he could answer, you quickly ran forward, hoping to make it to class in enough time to take the spot next to Sirius so Remus couldn’t sit next to you today. Remus was left in shock. It may have been the first time since Remus started Hogwarts that he missed a class before a full moon.
—☾
“OH QUIT MOPPING MOONY.” Sirius teased, shoving Remus teasingly as the werewolf rolled his eyes. They were sitting at their table for the Yule ball which consisted of James Sirius, Sirius’ date of the hour, and Lily. Marlene and Dorcas had agreed to accompany you at your table, to not further strain the awkwardness of the situation. You did decide to go with Gideon, after the angry response you got from Remus, it was clear to you that you should go with who you wanted.
“Don’t tell me what to quit, padfoot. Does Amanda know she’s your fifth date tonight or did you want to let her find out on her own?” Remus hissed, raising an eyebrow at sirius, who’s eyes widened when his date, Amanda, slapped him over the head.
“You prick!” She shouted, storming away from the table, sirius chuckling angry as Remus smirked.
“Thanks for that.” He grumbled, choosing to put his anger aside when seeing the sad look on Remus’ face.
“I’ve ruined the one and only good thing in my life.” Remus mummbled, hiding his face in his hands. Sirius rolled his eyes, nudging him.
“Sitting right here Moony.” Sirius snarked, earning a shove back.
“Shut up.”
“Oh come on. It’s y/n, I mean, it’s your sunny! She can’t stay mad at you.” Sirius explained, causing Remus to shake his head.
“She loves me. I mean she really, loves me.” He said in disbelief, shaking his head as he sighed.
“And you don’t love her back?” James asked, his expression soft as he looked at Remus with concern.
“I mean, I don’t, I can’t right? I mean she’s my best friend. Anyone but her.” He explained, the other marauders sharing a smirk before turning back to Remus.
“I don’t know moons, love works in mysterious ways.” Sirius teased, making Remus roll his eyes again.
“Posh, what do you know about love.”
“Well, I know that you and y/n are meant for each other. Wether it be friends, or true love.” Sirius said, making Remus shrug.
“Yeah, whatever.” He mumbled, choosing to ignore Sirius’ comment and resting his chin against his palm angrily. He looks up to see you walking into the room, hand and hand with Gideon. A wide smile adorned your face as you smiled around at the decor around the room, making Remus smile.
“Wow.” Remus muttered, his eyes trained on you which caught the boy’s attention.
“She's so pretty.” Lily said, waving for you to come and sit over with them as she got up to greet you.
“Pretty? Are you kidding? She’s gorgeous.” He whispered to himself, causing Sirius and James to share a look.
“Someone’s gawking.” James teased. Remus gestured to where you stood, you face seemed to sparkle under the lights as you spoke to Lily.
“How can you not. I mean, wow. I’ve never seen sunny in red before.” He couldn’t help the way his heart picked up speed when you waved over to him.
“I guess red suits her in more ways than one.” Sirius mumbled, referring to the fact that Remus, the gryffindor boy, truly did belong with you. Remus didn’t hear him, having been making his way over to you the second he saw you wave.
“Sunny, hey.” He greeted, causing you to smile widely as you hugged him.
“Remus, hey.” You said in response. The second you pulled away you noticed a thick awkwardness that wafted between you two.
“You uh, you look great.” Remus complimented, making you smile, bowing slightly before turning to Gideon.
“Thanks. I’ll be right back Gideon, I’m gonna grab us some punch.” You explained, absentmindedly kissing Gideon on the cheek as you ran from the awkwardness. Remus would be lying if he said his heart didn’t ache at the sight.
“So what, you two are dating now?” Remus asked, watching you walk away as Gideon shrugged.
“I don’t know. I might go for it, I think she likes me.” He explained. Remus snorted, rolling his eyes. “What, you don’t think so?”
“No just, well, sunny could do a lot better than you.”
He wasn’t sure why he said it. Remus never had a problem with Gideon before, in fact he considered him a good friend. He had no idea why the thought of him with you made him so mad. Well he did, but remus decided to stay cluelessly angry with clenched fists instead of admit that.
“What, like you?”
“No, just, better.” Remus responded with a shrug, causing Gideon to sigh.
“Look, Remus, if you like her I can back down. You’ve had her longer than I have I wouldn’t step in the way of that?”
“Had her?” Remus asked, now looking at Gideon with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah well, I guess you’ve had claim on her for longer.”
“Claim? She’s not just something you can claim Prewitt, she’s a person!” He shouted.
“Calm down Remus, I just meant…” Gideon tried, holding his hand up with defense before Remus interrupted him.
“No!” He shouted, shoving Gideon back angrily. “She deserves better than you. She’s a human being, not just someone you can set your claim on like, like some kind of animal.” He shook his head, feeling anger consume him. It was strange, he had never felt this incredibly angry before unless a full moon was near, which hadn’t happened since last week, so that couldn’t be it. There was no one you could make him feel as powerfully as a full moon could, right?
“Oh come on now, we all know how it goes around here, right? You’d know better than anyone, what with Sirius being your friend and all.”
Remus felt as though Gideon had burned those words into his brain.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m sure you’ve all gone back and forth choosing who would get to have her.”
It didn’t take much more from Remus before he swung a punch right at Gideon, knocking him to the ground. He wasn’t sure what came over him, but Remus just started punching, and he didn’t stop. He choose to ignore Gideon’s pleas for him to stop, his anger taking over.
“Remus stop! Stop it now! Merlin’s beard, what is wrong with you guys!?” You shouted, quickly pulling Remus back. He wipped him nose, a punch Gideon had landed now causing it to gush blood as he grunted. Gideon was only able to land a few punched anyway, and Remus stood back trying to catch his breath.
“Nothing.” Remus grumbled, clenching his fists. He fought the urge to say something, before huffing as he walked outside the building.
“What the hell was that?” You asked, watching as Remus pulled a cigarette out of his back pocket, something he only did when he was angry.
“Nothing.” He hissed. You grabbed the cigarette from his mouth, putting it out which only made him angrier.
“Nothing??…nothing!?! Remus Lupin, explain yourself. Now!” You shouted. He huffed again, gesturing out at Gideon who was being checked out by Madam Ponfrey in the hall.
“Nothing happened alright? He pissed me off, so I hit him.”
“You can’t just lash out on people Remus. It’s, it’s not healthy for you.” You sighed, rubbing your forehead. “Merlin, you need to start taking care of yourself, and stop getting into these fights over, stupid things.” You explained. He didn’t say anything in response, just stared at you as you dug through your pocket for the disinfectant you always kept with you, for him.
“Do you really like him?” He mumbled, causing you to look up at him, your heart rate increasing.
“What?” Your voice cracked as you spoke.
“Gideon, do you like him?”
“I don’t see why that matters.” You replied shortly, causing him to sigh as he stared deeply into your eyes.
“Just tell me the truth.”
“I don’t know Remus, he makes me feel special. Like I’m important, like I matter.” You explained, meeting his eyes as you felt your cheeks heat up.
“And I don’t make you feel those things?”
“You’re the one that told me we were just friends, okay? You. I-I can’t keep liking you, and getting my heart broken.”
“No, no no no.” He muttered, shaking his head as you spoke.
“What do you mean no?” You hissed, now angry that he felt he had the right to keep pulling at your heart.
“I-i don’t know y/n. Something about seeing you tonight, with him…I don’t know I just felt, angry.” He explained, shaking his head at the ground as he ran his fingers through his hair.
“Because I was with Gideon?”
“Because you weren’t with me.” His voice broke as he spoke, though he spoke with such certainty you almost melted on the spot.
“But you…”
“I know what I said.” He stepped closer. “And I felt it, I did. I thought, anyone but you. I couldn’t love you , anyone but you. And then I saw you tonight, and I felt it.”
“You felt what?”
He smiled, stepping closer again, your faces as close as they could be before touching.
“Love. And not the kind that means I love you because your my friend, the kind that means I want to be with you forever. The kind that means in love.” He explained. He caressed your cheek with his hand, smiling as you looked at him with uncertainty.
“Remus..”
He didn’t let you finish, getting the reassurance he needed as soon as he heard his name, pulling you into a kiss. It was gentle, yet the most passionate kiss you’d ever experienced. You pulled away, smiling at him as he smiled back.
“Everything you’ve ever wanted?” He asked, making you chuckle, resting your forehead against his as you kissed him again quickly.
“You have no idea.”
322 notes · View notes
gvcci-bxby · 5 months
Text
the arrangement (mini series) - chapter 2: lucky
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neteyam sully x omatikaya reader
word count: 5.2k
warnings: light angst, mostly fluff, probably misspellings lol
author's note: hello, everyone. this is the second chapter of 'the arrangement' series. As I continue to write this mini series, I become more and more excited... I hope everyone enjoys it!
Other chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
taglist: @bakugouswaif
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
As Neteyam walked away from your door, he shook his head at himself. He hurried himself down the roots of the tree, making his way down to the village again. Why did he have to play childish games on you throughout your childhood? At first, he thought it was funny, his friends always encouraging him on. It was amusing to see your tail twitch with aggravation, your ears pinned back in frustration. It was always just simple games, harmless pranks, and teasing. Now he’s frustrated with himself seeing how his games have come back to bite him. 
In Neteyam’s mind, he had to marry you. For a long time, he had convinced himself that one day you’d come around to the idea of mating with him and being the Tsahìk for the clan. Now, he twinged at your tone when you said you’d never mate with him, and he worried he would have to convince you otherwise. Neteyam clearly misinterpreted the way you perceived his games, and he has only realized it now that it’s too late. He never wanted a sour arranged marriage, one that he couldn’t look at his wife or she couldn’t look at him. His tail flicked imagining endless days of sitting on opposite sides of the home or silent, awkward dinners. He didn’t want that. 
Neteyam made his way back to his home, his parents waiting for him in their sitting room. In unison, his parents sat up straight, perking up at his presence entering through the doorway. 
“So,” Jake said, standing up. “How’d it go?”
Neteyam shook his head, “She hates me.” 
Jake put a hand to his forehead, while Neytiri hissed in frustration. “Son, did you really think it was a good idea to endlessly harass your future mate for years?” Jake said, looking towards his son. 
Clearly, he did and now that’s his current problem. Did he want to marry you? Not particularly. He disliked the way you were good at everything, making it look so easy during training. He was irritated by the way you hated him, always making his jokes a bigger deal then he meant them to be. He shook his head to himself, thinking how he hated the way he couldn’t help but watch your body move to the rhythm of the music at countless village festivals. 
“I wasn’t thinking about the future, sir. I’m sorry.” Neteyam said, looking at his father. 
“You never do, none of you do. This relationship is the foundation for the future of this clan. I’m hard on you because you have great responsibilities coming up.” Jake says, stepping closer to Neteyam. Neteyam was a tall, strong Na’vi yet his father still towered over him. “And all I ask is for you to create a model relationship for the rest of your peers and the clan. A relationship they feel like they can believe in and trust to lead them.” 
Neteyam breathed in, simmering his heated emotions. He hated being reprimanded by his father, especially because of you. 
“I will try.” Neteyam said, displaying that he was listening. 
“No trying, you will do. You’re dismissed.” Jake said, stepping back to let Neteyam by. 
Neteyam moved quickly, making his way to his room. As he walked by, his mother grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. 
“I see the way you look at her, Neteyam.” Neytiri said, her gaze boring a hole into her son. “Ask y/n for forgiveness for your past actions and show her your gentle side, the side the rest of us know as the true Neteyam.” Neytiri let go of her son’s arm, encouraging him to continue on. 
It was barely the afternoon and Neteyam was already exhausted. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone, not his siblings or friends that he had made plans with. Neteyam had known this moment was coming but he never thought how stressful it might be. Mateship should be exciting and warm but this entire thing, to Neteyam, felt cold and lonely. 
Neteyam plunked down on his bed, arms folding underneath his head, staring up at the ceiling. His mind fixated on you, all your interactions leaving his memory and rushing to his thoughts. Maybe his games were too harsh on you, you never did seem to like them. The truth is, Neteyam never understood why you never got along with each other. 
You avoided him at all times, making sure to have a friend group that hardly interacted with his. Occasionally you had to interact, small meetups with the young Na’vi when you were teenagers or sneaking out as a group to go to the lake after curfew. All those times he had noticed you and the way your tahini glowed in the darkness but never understood why you didn’t look in his direction. Had he really messed up that bad? Maybe, he supposes, he should have left you alone and let your eventual mateship be what brought you together. Neteyam had always know, as far back as he could remember, that you would be his mate. Perhaps his games were a way he could get you to notice him outside of being forced to mate with him. 
Neteyam, deep in his thoughts, only noticed that Lo’ak and Kiri had entered his room when they shook him back into consciousness. 
“Look at him, Kiri.” Lo’ak said, poking Neteyam’s arm. “He’s really torn up about this y/n thing.” 
Neteyam turned, scowling at Lo’ak. “I can hear you, bro.” 
Kiri sat down on the side of her brother’s bed, pulling Lo’ak with her. They sat, legs crossed, their tails curled with curiosity. “How are you feeling, brother?” Kiri said, turning her head to the side. 
Neteyam sighed, covering his eyes with the crook of his arm. “Everything is all messed up.” 
Kiri cooed, petting Neteyam’s arm. “Everything can be fixed, brother. I like y/n, she’s a nice girl. She’ll come around.” 
Lo’ak snorted, “Yeah, if she can get over all the pranks Neteyam has played on her.” 
Kiri shot Lo’ak a look and Neteyam groaned. “Were they really that bad?” 
Lo’ak opened his mouth to speak but Kiri pushed him in the chest causing him to fall backwards. Lo’ak hissed, rubbing his chest where Kiri shoved him. 
“The point is, brother, you have to apologize.” Kiri said, refocusing her attention on Neteyam. “It would probably help to have an honest conversation with her about the mateship too.”
Neteyam sighed, uncovering his eyes. “What do you mean?” 
“Well,” Kiri started, “You’ve told me that you just want to be a good leader for the clan even if that means being forced to mate with someone. You should at least communicate that to her, see if that’s a place where you can find common ground. To just make it work.” 
Neteyam shook his head, “Thank you, sister but you should have heard her today. She’s set on breaking the arrangement.” 
Kiri smiled, waving her hand. “Nonsense, I will help you with y/n. We’re friends, I know what she likes. Do you have plans to meet her soon?”
Neteyam nodded. 
“Good, you’ll take her for a picnic. Come, we’ll make the basket now.” Kiri said, standing up and pulling her brother’s arm. 
For the afternoon, Neteyam and Kiri worked together to roam around the territory of the village to collect and create a basket filled with the ripest fruits. Neteyam couldn’t help but build hope inside of him looking at what he and his sister were creating. Neteyam lost track of time and suddenly he found himself under a sunset, gold, and pink mixing together to stretch across the never-ending sky. 
Before they went home, Kiri snuck into the kitchen and swiped two slices of the cake that would be served tonight. “They won’t miss these,” Kiri had said, her eyes wide as she tucked the prizes in the basket Neteyam held. 
A pit in his stomach formed in Neteyam’s stomach. Neteyam felt so confused, unsure of how he felt about it all. He knew, no matter what, that his father would not let him, or you, out of this mateship. You had been chosen; a perfect match made by Eywa. It had been Neteyam’s fault for having a rough start with you, always teasing and making you look foolish in front of others in the clan. Truly, he had never meant any harm. 
“You really think y/n will like this, Kiri?” Neteyam asked as the siblings walked home. 
Kiri nodded, “No doubt. Remember to apologize, Neteyam. Eywa didn’t put you together for you two to hate each other.” 
Before Neteyam could process, he was standing at your doorstep, at noon the next day, the large and heavy basket in his hand. He knocked lightly and stepped back to allow you to respond. 
After only a moment, the door opened, and you stood in the doorway. Neteyam was taken aback when his breathed hitched at the sight of you. You were wearing a beaded outfit, one that looked brand new. It fit you perfectly, your top and bottom hugging you in all the right places, the beads covering your sensitive parts. The top half of your hair was up, tied back with a ribbon. Your face had touches of makeup; you had darkened your lips with juices of red berries. “Hello,” you said simply.
Neteyam coughed, tearing his gaze from you. “Hi, y/n. Are you ready?” 
You nodded, peering over your shoulder. “Yeah but I didn’t actually think you were coming, and I made the mistake of telling my mother and she forced me to pull all this shit on my face.” 
Neteyam smiled, amused. “It looks nice. Follow me.” 
You rolled your eyes, following him. Your eyes look at the full basket in his hand and you figured he was taking you for a picnic. The idea eased your mind, knowing that it would be a low-risk activity. 
Still, a day later, you didn’t know how you felt about going out with Neteyam. You had thought about it all night, unable to think of anything else. You tried to calm your emotions, thinking about how Eywa wouldn’t make a mistake by putting you and Neteyam together, right? Still, you couldn’t see it working out. 
You follow Neteyam, through the forest and away from the busy village. Your skin tingles, recognizing that you were alone with Neteyam. 
You watch as Neteyam sets the basket down, unfolding a weaved mat that had been tucked in beside the fruit and food. Neteyam stood back, gesturing for you to sit down. You did so, crossing your legs. You hadn’t eaten all day and your stomach growled at the sight of your favorite fruits. ‘How did he know what I like?’ You thought to yourself. 
Neteyam followed, sitting beside you. He was quick in dividing the food equally between the two of you. It was silent in the beginning, neither of you unsure of what to say. 
“I feel like we should talk,” Neteyam said, glancing at you.
You inhale, preparing yourself for the conversation. “You’re right,” you said, turning to Neteyam. 
“First, I want to apologize for my pranks over the years. I never thought about how you could be feeling being at the end of every joke.” Neteyam said, making eye contact with you.
Your heart weakened, frustrated that it took so long to hear an apology. You didn’t think Neteyam was a mean-spirited person, you had always seen him being kind and caring towards the elders in the village and his siblings. 
“We’ve been put in an odd position, having our relationship planned for us when you we were born. I guess I never knew how to deal with that, and I took it out on you. My parents, and I’m sure yours, have made it clear that we aren’t getting out of this so I feel like we should at least try to make us work. We have an entire clan to lead and that’s a lot of pressure. On top of all the expectations we have placed on us, I don’t want you to be miserable, y/n, I want you to be happy with me.” Neteyam huffed, using his last breath to squeeze out his statement.
You considered this. You didn’t want to have your relationship arranged, wanting the freedom to be a part of choosing your own mate and decide when you consummate your relationship. But you didn’t have that option and you had always known that. You decided to agree to Neteyam’s apology and put that in your past. You didn’t want to have a turbulent marriage, always admiring your parents peaceful and equal relationship. You had to accept his apology in order to make this work and have a relationship like your parents. You had to in order to be the leader you were born to be. 
Neteyam moved himself closer to you, his arm brushing yours. “I know this is all fast, just yesterday we were arguing and avoiding each other but us mating is getting closer, and we must prepare ourselves.”  
You nodded slowly, biting your lip as you listened. “I know Neteyam, it’s a lot. Let’s try though, I’ll try” 
You felt Neteyam’s shoulders go down beside you, his angst seemingly leaving his body. “Okay, where should we start?” 
You scrunched your nose. “Right here is a good start.” You said, gesturing towards the picnic around you. “It’s lovely, thank you for planning this.” 
Neteyam shrugged, “I’d like to say this was all me, but Kiri helped me out a lot.” 
You laughed, “I was wondering how you knew all my favorite foods.” 
You and Neteyam spent a few more hours together, conversing lightly. You both filled in the pieces of information that were missing from each of your understanding of each other. You couldn’t deny, it felt nice to not be at each other’s throat. You sat together in peace, laughing occasionally. It had been 20 years of constant strife between you and Neteyam, always a bitter exchange. Now, you were surprised by the quick turn-around between you and him, thankful for the mutual agreement to try and make a complicated situation simple. 
You eventually stood up, swiping the dirt off your legs. You noticed the sky dimming around you, the bio-luminous plants lighting up beside you. “I should probably get back home,” You said.
Neteyam nodded, standing up as well.  “You’re probably right,” he said, starting to pick scraps of food up, “I’ll walk you home.” 
Neteyam did so, replicating the short walk back to your home. You stood on your doorstep, facing Neteyam. “Thank you again, Neteyam. I appreciate the effort.” 
Neteyam smiled, making eye contact with you. “It was my pleasure. It comforts me to know that we will try our best to make our mateship work, y/n. I want to show you how good our relationship can be. An arranged relationship doesn’t have to be bad.” 
You nod, thinking his comments over. “You’re right. It doesn’t have to be bad. It’s actually kind of nice, not having to date a bunch of people to find the one.” 
Neteyam laughed, “Yeah, it is.” 
Silence laid between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The torches that were lit across the village illuminated the space around your hope. The shadows of the flames flickered across Neteyam faces, brightening his yellow eyes even brighter. Your breath hitched, studying his face closely. Neteyam was good looking, his features defined beautifully. All the rumors about Neteyam flooded to you at once, heating your neck and cheeks up. 
You tried to shake the images out of your head, but they stuck. You had heard from multiple girls that he was a good kisser, his large hands roaming in the right places. Multiple girls in the Omatikaya clan, Roya, Nalu and Leyra all had told you stories about their late nights spent with Neteyam. The way his fingers intertwined in their hair, the way his tongue flicked in rhythm, the way he made their back arch with ease. Your jaw clenched, causing your eyebrows to furrow. Why did the image of Neteyam sleeping with others cause you to feel.. jealousy? 
“Are you okay, y/n?” Neteyam said, noticing your face change from happy to concerned. Neteyam stepped closer, surprising himself when he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear. 
“Yes, I’m fine, I should go inside.” You step back, stumbling into your home. “Thanks again for today, Neteyam.” And you disappeared into your home, leaving Neteyam on your doorstep. 
Now Neteyam frowned, wondering what had just happened. It was going so well and then you frowned, seemingly thinking about something sour, then shrinking into your home. Neteyam stepped back, moving away from your home. 
Neteyam shifted the basket in his hands, walking towards his home. He thought about you, happy that you agreed to give the relationship a chance. Eywa had put you both in a beautifully complicated position, giving you the honor of leading a clan but putting you together unwillingly. 
Neteyam had been surprised at how smoothly the conversation went over the picnic, how easy it was to laugh and share stories. The image of the way you’d bite your lip, head leaned back as you laughed rolled around in his mind. Or the way the sun made your eyes twinkle, sparking Neteyam’s temptations to get closer to you. Already, Neteyam was in a trance around you.
-----
If someone had told you a few weeks ago that you and Neteyam would be getting along, going on several dates, you would have laughed in their face. The picnic with Neteyam was the first of many instances where you and he spent time together alone. 
The past several weeks it had become clear to you that Neteyam was putting in effort, attempting to show that he is no longer the boy that plays childish pranks on you but is the boy who you are set to marry shortly. Each visit with Neteyam leaves your head spinning trying to figure out how you feel about the entire situation. You appreciate having the ability to learn more about Neteyam and allow yourself to open up to him before you become an officially mated pair. The visits with Neteyam encourage you to think about him as your future mate, no longer your enemy. You even find yourself looking forward to seeing him, catching glimpses of him around the village send goosebumps your arms and heat your cheeks. 
Neteyam often sits next to you at the weekly clan dinners, showing you, his parents, and himself that he is attempting to find peace with the arrangement. You appreciate the public gestures, noticing that others in the clan are starting to acknowledge you and Neteyam’s future together. When you hang around your friends, when you aren’t with Neteyam or doing chores, they fill you in on the gossip and whispers that circulate about you and Neteyam’s relationship. You blush, diverting your gaze away from your friends, when they tell you how lucky you are. 
Jake and Neytiri, notice their son’s absence in their home, but pleased that all his spare time is being spent with you. Neteyam has noticed also that he hasn’t spent time with his friends, or siblings, in a few weeks. Neteyam has been pleasantly surprised that he has been wrapped up in the time that is spent with you and the time it takes to make each date a special one. 
You and Neteyam have both been taken by surprise by the progress that’s been made together, completely forgetting the complicated, messy history you had at one point. You’ve both bonded, in a way, in only a short couple of weeks. You and Neteyam relate deeply, in a way nobody else can understand, both equally feeling the pressures of being chosen to be future leaders. In a way, that bonds you together deeply and for forever.
-----
You stand outside your home, clipping one of your tops to a string that connects to a tree by your home. Your mother put you on laundry duty and you’ve been tied to your home all day. You hum, taking in the pleasant weather and warm sunshine that is beginning to set itself away for night. You catch yourself thinking about Neteyam, wondering what he’s doing right now. 
You scrunch your nose at the realization, shaking your head at yourself. You can’t believe you think of Neteyam in such a way, considering how you felt about him only a few weeks ago. You look off into the distance, listening to the chatter of the wildlife that lives around you in Pandora. You curse your mother, wishing she hadn’t given you a chore that chained you to your home for the entire day. 
Later that evening, you lay in your bed, your body tired from doing laundry all day. The sun had set several hours ago, and village life had winded down to a quiet hum. You lay on your back, staring up at the ceiling. You feel yourself drifting off into sleep when you feel something ping off your leg. You frowned, reaching down to rub where you felt something tap you. There was nothing on your bed or around you. 
You laid back down, trying to fall back asleep when you felt another object ping your leg. You laid still, waiting to feel it again. Your eyes watched as a small pebble flew into your room through your window. 
You stood up, standing on your bed to be able to look at the window. When you peaked out, you saw Neteyam standing outside your window, a goofy grin on his face. 
“Neteyam?” You whispered, “What are you doing throwing pebbles in my room?” You couldn’t help but laugh as you asked the question. 
“I thought it was better than knocking on your door considering the time,” Neteyam said, throwing a small pebble towards you, which ended up pinging off the side of your home. “Come out and take a walk through the forest with me, I have something to show you.” 
“You want me to come out now?” You asked. “It’s past curfew already.” 
Neteyam shrugged, “So? Come out.” 
You sighed, weighing the possibility of being caught by your parents or other Na’vi elders. You glanced at Neteyam who stood below your window, willing you to sneak out of your home. Your eyes caught Neteyam’s and he smiled, his tail flicking behind him in anticipation. You huffed, stepping off your bed. Neteyam frowned then, fully expecting you to have joined him. He stood in his position, hoping that you would change your mind. 
“Psst,” you said, now standing outside your home. You noticed Neteyam waiting, seemingly thinking you had turned his proposition down. “Are you coming or not?” you said, a playful smile across your lips.
Neteyam laughed, realizing that you had snuck out to join him, catching him by surprise. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.” 
Neteyam caught up to you, walking at the same pace as you. It had been a full day since you last saw him, but it wasn’t like you were counting or anything… 
You made your way through the edge of the forest, Neteyam telling you when to turn. You turned off the beaten down path, turning into a thick part of the forest. You chatted lightly with your future mate, exchanging pleasantries. Neteyam informed you about his training he had participated in earlier in the day, shaking his head while he told you how Lo’ak had embarrassed himself. You laughed, imaging the scene in your mind as Neteyam told you. 
After a while of walking, you had given up on guessing where Neteyam was taking you. “Where are we going, Neteyam?” You asked, glancing up at him. 
Neteyam put his arm out, pushing several large branches out of the way to reveal a pretty sight. “We are going right here.” 
Before you, a river extended itself down for miles. The water, which was bio-luminous, moved slowly, making it the perfect place to swim. The water was illuminated, a beautiful deep blue, lighting up the surrounding area. The river’s edge was lined with beautiful plants and flowers, bio-luminous too, making it a mysterious sight. You inhaled sharply, glancing at Neteyam. 
Neteyam noticed your eyes sparkle, your facial features expressing awe of the sight he brought you too. He felt pleased, watching your reaction. Neteyam took your hand in his, guiding your from behind the bushes to the water’s edge. “I found it a couple of weeks ago and it’s been my go-to place to decompress after trainings. I thought you’d like it.” 
You nodded, crouching down, still holding Neteyam’s hand. You dipped your fingertips into the water, the warm water rushing between your fingers. “It’s beautiful.” 
You stood up, having the urge to feel the water all over your body. It had been months since you last swam, chores and duties claiming all your free time. “Come on,” you said, tugging Neteyam. You walked into the water until you were up to your thighs. Neteyam followed, amused by your urges. 
You sighed in relief; you always loved the feelings of water. You dipped down, submerging your torso underwater. You laughed, tipping your head back. “This is so much fun, Neteyam. I haven’t been swimming in forever!” 
Neteyam laughed too, his eyes gazing at you. His heart fluttered at the sound of your laugh, the way you expressed your pleasure of being in the water. 
Neteyam crouched down too, his face at your level. You turned your gaze to him, noticing his close proximity to you. Neteyam was a beautiful Na’vi and you knew it. His boyish features were turning into grown up features before your eyes, the anticipation of being introduced as the future Olo’eyktan aging him. You didn’t even notice Neteyam was taking you in at the same time, his eyes taking in your face. Within him, Neteyam felt a hunger to be close to you.
Underneath the water, you felt Neteyam’s hands wrap around your waist, bringing your body closer to his. You both stayed still, unmoving, embracing the moment and being alone together. 
Swiftly, the moment was broken by Neteyam cupping your face with one of his large hands, guiding your face to his, your lips crashing together with his. 
You were caught by surprise, once again, but your skin crawled with excitement. You took in Neteyam’s taste, your lips moving in synch with each other’s. You sighed softly, wishing the action of kissing Neteyam would never end. Neteyam’s arm wrapped around your waist firmly, your fronts pressing against each other. 
Neteyam pulled away, moving his hand that cupped your face to brushing a lock of your hair away from your face. Again, he took in your beauty, cursing himself for breaking the kiss. His lips already missed yours. 
You covered your mouth, stifling a laugh. ‘I kissed Neteyam!’ you thought to yourself ‘Who would have thought I would say that?’
Neteyam noticed your attempt to cover-up your laugh and he laughed too. It felt natural to kiss you, to have your body close to his. 
“Come on,” Neteyam said, pulling you. “Let’s swim for a while.”
You and Neteyam swam up the river, fooling around as you splashed water at each other or simply floated as you took in the quiet of the forest around you. After what must have been an hour or two, you both decided you should get home before anyone noticed you were missing. 
Once you stood back on land, attempting to dry yourselves off, you thanked Neteyam. “Thank you for getting me to sneak out and showing me your secret place. I really needed the break.” 
Neteyam glanced at you smiling, “I’m glad to share my secret place with you,” Neteyam said, pulling his wet braids back. “It can be our place from now on.” 
You smiled, diverting your eyes to the ground, feeling your cheeks heat up with a blush. 
You and Neteyam worked your way back to the Omaticaya village. In between conversations with Neteyam, you thought about how you felt happy with him, wishing you and Neteyam could have sorted out your issues sooner so you could have felt this joy years earlier. Everything happens when it needs to, you supposed. 
You were pleased with the way you and Neteyam’s relationship had matured and progressed that last few weeks. You felt hope that you could be a mated pair that got along, able to lead the Omaticaya people together. For the first time, you agreed with your friends; you were indeed lucky. 
Once you reached your home, located on the west edge of the village, you stopped to face Neteyam. “I guess this is good night.” You said, wishing you didn’t have to part with him. Neteyam smiled again, nodding. “I guess so,” Neteyam said, seemingly disappointed as well. 
Neteyam bent down, placing a kiss on your cheek. “Goodnight, y/n.” 
You smiled, stepping back from Neteyam. You gave him a little wave, walking up the steps to your front door. Without turning around, you opened your door slowly, hoping your parents weren’t awake. 
Neteyam watched as you go, wishing he could follow you into your home, into your room, into your bed. Once your front door closed, Neteyam turned, heading back towards his home. 
Neteyam was only a few feet away from his home when a figure appeared next to him. “Neteyam,” the voice, who Neteyam recognized as Korra, said. “Where have you been all day? I haven’t been able to find you.”
Neteyam’s stomach dropped, forgetting about Korra while he was with you. Korra was a Na’vi in the clan who had made it very clear that she had her sights set on Neteyam. It was known that Neteyam had been seen with other girls in the clan but most of what had circulated around the village was misunderstood. For a moment, Neteyam wondered if you heard and believed the rumors. Neteyam had always known he was promised to you, and although it was a complicated matter until now, he had never strayed away from the expectation to mate with you one day so he, mostly, stayed away from girls until the day to be with you arrived. 
“Korra, now isn’t a great time.” Neteyam said, moving around her. 
“Neteyam, now is always a great time. Some of us are hanging out tonight, you should come.” 
Neteyam shook his head, “No, Korra, I don’t think so.” 
Korra frowned, “Oh, okay. Well, can I see you soon?”
Neteyam tried his hardest to refrain from grimacing. “No, not like that. As friends, sure, but I don’t think you understand that Y/n and I are to be mated soon and I don’t want to offend her by being around girls without her. Maybe we can hang out as a group sometime.” 
Korra raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms. She tried her best to submerge her frustrated feelings to a place where they didn’t show. “You both should come tonight then. You’re always the life of the party, we just miss you around us. You’ve been so preoccupied lately.” 
Neteyam shrugged thinking about it. Would it be weird to go back and invite you? Maybe hanging out with his friends would help acquaint you with his life. Plus, Neteyam just wanted to see you again, taking any opportunity to spend time with you. “I’ll ask.” Neteyam said, moving away from Korra to finish his walk into his home. Little did he know, he left Korra standing outside his home, her emotions flaming with jealousy, and rejection. 
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alisonwritesimagines · 8 months
Text
Your Eyes Whispered "Have We Met?" ~LA! Shanks x Reader~
Summary: Set in the Enchanted series. You meet Shanks but you aren't sure if you could trust him.
Author’s Note: I can't wait for more Shanks in season 2.
Based in my Enchanted series
Reader’s Pronouns: She/Her
Warnings: fluff
Side Note: This is a secondary blog. If you comment a question down below, I will not answer since this is not the main blog. Please send the question to my inbox if you want a response back!
Do not repost this anywhere!
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You sat on the porch with Luffy, teaching him how to do some simple math. Luffy was a child that the Marine Vice Admiral Garp had asked you to take care of and educate him while he tend to his Marine duties. You were a smart woman with your father and mother being educators who taught in villages before settling in Windmill village.
"Math is stupid. Why do I have to learn it?" Luffy asked frustrated.
"I get that it can be challenging or upsetting but you need to know at least the basics," you tell him.
"Can we go to the docks later?" Luffy asked you.
"Tell you what, if you can finish this math sheet and get only five wrong, we'll go to the docks," you promised.
"Okay. Deal."
Luffy was smart. Even if you had to teach him in ways that were different, he was still smart. And you kept your promise by taking him to the docks to see the oncoming ships that came by to drop off some food or other goods.
"Woah! Y/n look! A pirate ship," Luffy says as he pointed at the large ship that stuck out from the other ships.
"Yeah. Why don't we go visit Makino," you tell him as you led him away.
Makino owned the bar in the village but she was one of your close friends.
"Go ahead and sit down. I'm just going to have a word with Makino," you tell Luffy.
"Okay."
"Makino, don't be too alarm. But there are pirates here," you tell her.
"Not again."
"I know. Just thought you should be prepared," you tell her.
"Thanks. Where's Luffy?" She asked. You turned around to see Luffy gone from his seat.
"Oh no. Luffy!" You called out before rushing out.
Luffy stood by the pirate ship as he stared at the crew. He had heard of pirates from his grandfather and Y/n but he never got to see them up close.
"What's this little urchin doing on our ship?" He heard. He looked up scared to see a man standing before him.
"I'm sorry."
"Where's your parents? A kid like you shouldn't be on a ship like ours," the man said.
"What's going on?" Luffy heard another man ask. Luffy looked over to see a tall man with crimson red hair that was covered with a straw hat.
"Captain. Found this kid wandering onto our ship," the crew member told him.
"What's your name?" The captain asked Luffy as he squatted down to his eye level.
"Luffy."
"Well, Luffy, do you know where the village bar is at?" The captain asked.
"Yeah. I can show you," Luffy nodded.
"Perfect. Come on lads, let's get ourselves a drink," the captain said.
"Who are you?" Luffy asked.
"You can call me Shanks. I'm the captain of this pirate crew."
"You don't seem so mean."
"Who said I was mean?"
"My grandfather. And my caretaker," Luffy tells him.
"Your caretaker huh? Maybe I should change their mind on me then huh?" Shanks smiled.
"Luffy!" You yelled out. Luffy and Shanks looked over as they heard your yell.
Luffy rushed over to the edge of the boat and looked down on the docks. Shanks looked down at the docks as well to see who was yelling for Luffy. He watched as Luffy smiled and waved at you as you looked up at him with your hands on your hips.
"Monkey D. Luffy! You better come down here right now or else!" You yelled at him. You crossed your arms as you stared up at him.
"Coming!" Luffy said. The crew chuckled as they watched the kid rush down to you after getting in trouble.
So that's his caretaker, Shanks thought to himself before heading down as well.
"What were you thinking? You know better than to go onto dangerous ships," you tell Luffy with a stern look.
"I know but-"
"I apologize if you were worried," you looked up to see a man in a straw hat walking over towards you and Luffy. You pulled Luffy closer to you before moving him behind you.
"The little lad was just curious. He wasn't in any danger if that makes you feel any better."
"It's not just that. It's just that you're a... you're a..." You tried to find the right words to say without insulting him, risking you in danger.
"A pirate? I can guarantee to you that I'm not like any other pirate captain," he tells you.
"And how can I believe you?" You asked him.
"Why don't you join me in a drink and I'll change your mind?" He asked you.
"I think I'll have to pass. We need to get going anyway," you tell him before rushing away with Luffy.
The next day was the beginning of your weekend off as Luffy was with his grandfather for the weekend. You brought some fruit and vegetables to Makino so she could get her first pick before you sold the rest to the rest of the village.
"You know those pirates that came in yesterday aren't so bad," Makino tells you.
"How so?"
"They're nice. And they pay," Makino tells you. You shook your head at her before helping her put some of the liquor that came in away on her shelves.
"The captain seems interested in you," she points out.
"Who's the captain?" You asked.
"The one with the red hair and the straw hat," Makino says with a smirk.
"Don't give me that look," you say, nudging her.
"I'm just saying. You should get to know him."
You shook your head at her before grabbing your basket and heading out to the village. You set up your small stand before sitting down on your chair and picking up your book to continue reading.
"This is nice little stand that you have," you heard. You looked up from your book to see the same pirate from yesterday.
"Oh. It's you," you say as you put your bookmark into your book.
"How much for the fruit?" The man asked.
"It's just two berry a piece," you tell him.
"Seems a little cheap for some good fruit," the man tells you.
"I get paid well for taking care of Luffy. This just gives me something extra to get him some treats for doing well on his homework or some other stuff for me," you tell him.
"Well in that case, I'd like to buy everything you have."
"Why would you do that?" You asked.
"I'd like to get to know you and how can I do that if you're behind this stand all day?" He asked you.
"You could always just join me behind the stand," you offered.
"True. But I would also like to grab a drink," the man winked. You shook your head at him before standing up.
"Alright. A hundred berry for all of them," you tell him. The man gave you the money before taking the fruit and vegetables.
"I'll meet you at the bar then?" You asked him as you closed up your stand.
"I’ll be there after I drop these off," the man winked at you.
You headed over to Makino's bar and sat on a stool to wait for the pirate captain. Makino gave you a look as she walked over towards you.
"Sold your food already?" Makino asked you.
"That pirate captain bought it all," you tell her.
"So you spoke to him?"
"A little. He's meeting me here for a drink."
Makino gave you a smirk before pouring a drink for you and one for the pirate. You looked over at the entrance to see the pirate walking in.
"Glad to see you had a drink ready for me," he said with a smile. He sat next to you before taking a drink of the alcohol.
"You know, I never got your name," you tell him.
"Where are my manners? I'm Shanks."
"Nice to meet you, Shanks. I'm Y/n," you smiled as you offered a handshake. He took your hand into his before placing a kiss on the top of your hand.
"Smooth," you say with a small laugh.
"How else am I suppose to impress a beautiful woman like you?" Shanks asked you. You shook your head at him before taking a swing at your drink.
"Where is Luffy?" Shanks asked.
"He's with his grandfather right now. A couple days off for me," you tell him.
"I see. Do you often get days off?" Shanks asked you.
"Not really. So I try to relax before Luffy comes back."
"I guess this gives us a couple days to ourselves to get to know each other," Shanks smiled. You smiled at him before looking down at your drink.
"Will you show me your pirate ship?" You asked him.
"Want to see it now while it's empty?" Shanks asked you. You nodded before putting some berry down for Makino.
"I got this," Shanks said before replacing your berry with his.
"I can pay for stuff too you know."
"True but I like to find treasure so berry doesn't mean much to me. Though, I think I found some good treasure in this village," Shanks tells you with a smile.
"Come on Captain," you say as you took his hat and put it on yours. "Take me on a tour of your ship."
"As you wish," Shanks smiled before taking you over.
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neteyamslovrr · 11 months
Text
RETURN - PT 4
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summary: five years ago he left you. left you alone with nothing but memories of your love. so how dare he come back now?
contents: 1k words (very short), fem!reader,
authors note: i am so so so sorry it has taken me so long, and this chapter is so short but i need to figure out more BUT i needed to give you smthn @cinetrix made the header pic, he looks so delicious yumyum
previous / next
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The Omatikaya said that the river washes away your worries much like the calming embrace of a mother. A comforting stroke just like the rushing water running across your body.
So that is exactly where you went to escape. To let yourself float in the water. Letting it run across your face momentarily so you could indulge in the beautiful feeling.
It is a place you have found yourself go to more often. Your shared tent with Va’tep growing with more and more tension each day.
It wasn’t as if there had been a fight between the two of you. But Va’tep had grown bitter. Mean looks and hushed hisses. For a man of great status he had the emotional maturity of a toddler.
He knew about the mending connection between you and Neteyam. Anyone could see the rekindling flames burning between the two of you. It was angering for him.
To think that you could embarrass him like this. As is you were not his. Not Neteyam’s. No that ship had sailed.
And those growing furies within Va’tep shoved you far away. Far into this river, and further into Neteyam’s heart.
“What are you doing?” His voice was soft, so sweet yet deep. It erupted fire within you, one that not even the water surrounding you could put out.
Sitting up in a slight shock, your legs resting on the harsh ground below the water. “I was relaxing.”
“You can continue” He chuckled, submerging himself in the water beside you. “What have you been doing today? I didn’t seen you in camp this morning.”
You shrugged in response, sitting up beside him. “I’ve been here all day.”
“Hm? Any reason?” Neteyam knew you were feeling down. He could see it in your sunken shoulders and slight frown.
“Just…didn’t want to be there.” A vague response only probing Neteyam to ask more questions.
“Be honest with me…” He whispered, his slender hand touching yours with a comforting gaze.
With a long hesitant silence you looked into Neteyam’s eyes, your own glazed with tears. “It is Va’tep… it’s unbearable living with him.”
“What do you mean…?” Neteyam asked, his hands pulling you closer to him. “What is he doing?”
You caressed his hand. “He’s just…he’s so hostile. Being with you like this…It is hurting him.”
Neteyam scoffed. “The only thing it hurts is his pride. Which I will hurt more if he doesn’t grow up.” You shook your head as Neteyam tilted your chin to gaze up at him. “Whenever you are ready…We can approach him. I’m not letting you suffer with him for this long.”
“You let me suffer long enough.” Whenever you brought up Neteyam’s five year long absence it leaves a sting in both of your hearts. But Eywa was Neteyam doing everything in his power, with all his might to get back to how you were before. It was his one goal to recover the heart he tore apart.
“I will never let you suffer again. Please my sevin (pretty), let me help you.” He was so close to you, hands grazing your thighs, begging to bring you chest to chest.
You froze. You want nothing more than to let yourself let him into your heart. But there was moral turmoil running through you every time his soft fingers grazed your skin. “I want you to.. I really do. But-” You stopped yourself letting out a loud sigh.
“But?” Neteyam looked at you, stare full of love. “I will fight anyone who gets in our way. It is my fault Va’tep is promised to you. I will get you out of this.”
“Neteyam…” It was hushed, struggling and scratching to escape your throat. He nodded eagerly. “I cannot face my parents…I cannot be their only daughter who defies their wishes.”
“They wouldn’t wish for you to be unhappy.” You simply shook your head.
“I can’t- Neteyam…I don’t know what to do” You started to tear up, lips quivering as Neteyam gasped.
“Hey…hey. It’s okay…I’ll sort this out.” Neteyam hushed you, bringing you into his embrace, the lake sloshing around your bodies as his hands soothed your back. “I’ll make everything okay.”
And he vowed to do so.
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It was a couple days after, you cried in his arms. He hadn’t talked to you since, you were avoiding him due to embarrassment.
He understood, it was taking you a lot to open up to him like this after all these years. And he would do everything in his power to make sure he can make you feel comfortable and safe with him forever.
Neteyam had only had restless nights. He couldn’t shake away the thoughts of you being with Va’tep and how miserable you were with him. He wanted you to be happy whether that was single or with Neteyam. Preferably, with him.
But while he lay still, his hammock rocking him gently to the rhythm of the breeze, an idea finally hit him. He understood the only reason Va’tep was to mate with you was because it was your parents. And the only reason Va’tep stayed with you was because of his pride and his ego.
What if Neteyam were to take it away from him? To make it so that Va’tep is no longer the most honourable mate for you? And to strip away his pride so it cannot shackle you down into a loveless mating.
Maybe he was crazy to think if this. What could he possibly do to make Va’tep truly lose his mightiness in the eyes of your parents. And what could Neteyam do that wouldn’t make his family need to run away from the clan again…This is the chief’s brother we’re talking about.
But you were the most important thing to ever talk about. You were his top priority, his one and only purpose on this planet. Your voice was a symphony and it mellowed out every poor note around him. He swore on the Great Mother he would fix this huge mess he had caused.
Full of fiery passion he erupted out of his hammock, drawing up plans and splaying thoughts onto the dirt below him. You asked him to show you how to let go of the past. And he was determined to help you grab onto the future. Your future. Each other's future.
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once again thankyou my beautiful doves <33 youre interactions are my motivation thankyou sm for reading
tags: @notsaelty @mommyneytiri @hannabanana-09 @gloryavila @peachinsominac @jaidalise @neqeyam @hello222sthings @tsuteysyawntu @neyetams @yhern05 @emjeez @adaiasafira @kiri-tuk @yaya6765 @biscuitbeater15 @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @plooloo @savvysscandles @dilucslilmeowmeow @69cocktimusprime @newjeansbonnie @chatoicboy @pinkpantheris @plzfeedmebread @afro-hispwriter @lollife1617 @goddesslilithmoriarty @cinetrix @grierpilots @melsunshine @valentineheartzz @tsveria @mikeyswifie @junnniiieee07 @wifeyofeveryone @baebinana @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @neteyamssbaby @taleiak @cheyehc @shoyos-sugarbaby @be3flow3r
everything taglist: @8resa @ilovejakesullysdick @neteyamsblog @live-laugh-neteyam @reyalvr @trashfox @darkacademictrash @scntfrhs @dreamyescapesfromreality @fanboyluvr @neteyamzmate @neteyamyawne @neteyamssbaby @hana-yuri @solanare @s-surreality @aerangi @papichulo120627 @bellstwd @sussybaka10 @oceanstar19 @sharkybabe9 @arminsgfloll @bakugouswaif
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jakeotters · 7 months
Text
aquarium (jonathan crane x reader)
warnings: none
author’s note: a friend and i came up with the idea of going with jonathan on a date to the aquarium. i thought it was too cute not to write so i apologize that it’s ooc/not canon compliant 💖
(and a little self insert because otters are my favorite animal so it was warranted)
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p.s: enjoy these pictures i took at my local aquarium when i went in july (jonathan not included) <3
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jonathan wasn’t one for public spaces. he didn’t enjoy being around other people, especially large groups of them. he enjoyed what he did at arkham because he could be reserved, the brick walls separating him from the chaos of the world outside.
“jonathan, please? it’ll be fun, like a little date.”
you’d been bringing up the idea of the aquarium to him for weeks, but he always had an excuse not to go; dealing with patients, needing to work on files, scarecrow stuff, etc. you knew he was making excuses for himself and eventually, you gave up, accepting the fact that jonathan didn’t want to go.
jonathan took notice of the fact you’d stop asking him about going. he took notice of how you’d been quiet— something was bothering you.
“darling, what’s going on?”
he tried to get an answer out of you; why you were being quiet, why you’d stop asking him about the aquarium.
you gave in to his questioning and told him how you felt— all you wanted was to spend time with him that he never seemed to have outside of his work.
“if i said your responses and you coming up with excuses to not go with me doesn’t hurt, even a little bit, i would be lying, jon.”
jonathan felt guilty. he wasn’t the most outgoing of people and his work was centered around deliberately causing pain and suffering to others, but if there was one person he didn’t want to hurt, it was you. so, a few days later, he surprised you with tickets to the aquarium.
now, here he was, in a crowded room, children running around and pressing themselves to the large glass walls. he stood behind you, watching the fish swimming around in their enclosures. some of them were large or brightly colored, others were small and as he would put it: boring.
“that one’s pretty.” you said as you pointed at a fish that was bright blue.
he followed you to the next room, trying not to lose you in the groups of parents trying to get their children. there were more fish in this room, their small tanks placed in the walls for people to look through. there were a few tanks with small frogs and lizards, those he enjoyed— he’d consider himself to be more of a reptile guy.
the next part of the aquarium was upstairs. he followed you up the steps and you two emerged into an open area, different enclosures around the open floor space. without a word, he saw you quickly walk— almost run— to one of the enclosures.
when he caught up to you, you were standing against the glass, your eyes fixed on the far corner of the enclosure.
“jon, look! they’re sleeping!”
you pointed to a group of otters that were nestled together, their heads resting on one another as they slept. one of the otters moved so it was on its back, wiggling around with its paws in the air.
jonathan smiled as the otter wiggled around for a bit before curling up against the otter next to it, resting its head on the other otter’s back. jonathan leaned down to rest his head on your shoulder, his arms wrapping around your front.
“do you like it? i know you didn’t want to come and i’m sorry that-” you stopped as jonathan hushed you.
“i’ll always like spending time with you. i know you wanted to do this, and here we are. don’t worry about anything else, my darling.”
jonathan kissed your cheek before standing up fully again. he took your hand in his, leading you to the next enclosure.
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masterlist
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minustwofingers · 11 months
Text
exoplanet p.6 (ellie’s journals)
summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf
warnings: a significantly different writing voice! this is going to be a very different vibe from the other chapters since i had to write it as i imagine ellie would (which is a lot different than i do). slight nsfw content (mdni), language, mentions of violence/gore, angst, ellie’s pov is actually really depressing
a/n: soooo i know it’s been almost 3 months...and i’m really sorry about that! a lot of stuff happened in my life and i kind of fell off writing for quite some time. but i finish series, so i’m going to get through exoplanet in its entirety so i can finally give you all closure. some preliminary notes: know that these are modeled after how i imagine ellie would journal if she did journal this much. canonically she didn’t do that much writing that follows a narrative like it does here. i think it’s honestly a little ooc for her to be emotionally responsible enough to talk out her feelings, but given that there’s no other way to tell her side of the story (save for legit rewriting it from her perspective, which would take another 6 months or so and be horrifically repetitive), i decided to just suck it up and write it. i’m sorry if it sounds awkward, since she definitely doesn’t write in a voice that i have much experience with. the next chapter will be better!
word count: 5.5k
tags~ @intrnetdoll @dazedshoon @lovecaraya @pctcr @sariyaflowr @loser-keiji @prettyplant0 @666findgod @sawaagyapong @rystarkov @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @elliesbabygirl​ @pinkazelma @ariianelle @lu002 @blairfox04 @sparkleswonderland @elliesflower @muthafuckingstargirl @elliewilliamsissubermommyoml @eviestevie-14 @quicksilversg1rl @guacala @crtcrp @overtrred28
(i haven’t updated this yet bc my tags aren’t working)
a special special SPECIAL thanks to both @roarriita and @elliesflower​ for being soooo sexy and betaing for me. you both are so wonderful and helped me sm in feeling good enough to post this :)
without further ado, enjoy ellie’s journals!
January 20th, 2038
Today’s been…fucking…
I don’t even know where to start. I don’t get why this sort of shit always happens to me. First it was being bit and somehow surviving. Then it was getting carted off across the country. And now some girl basically falls out of the sky, claiming that she comes from some sort of paradise up North?
I’ll spare the immediate details. I don’t think I’ll forget the basic stuff—her name, the way she looked clutching at her knees in the clearing and shaking. That stupid shirt she had on and that expensive scarf.
I still want to believe that she’s just a liar who happened to get lucky with running into us, but even without Joel vouching for her story, I don’t think I’d ever be able to buy that she’d been living in the same world as us. I’ve never met someone without scars before. I didn’t know that there were people out there who didn’t have marked up arms and faces. Or people without calluses. Did you know that hands can be totally smooth?
Anyway. Tommy says that he’ll try and reach out across the contacts he has. Joel has her living right down the hall from me in the meantime, so now I have to share my bathroom. Hopefully the Terranovan authorities are good at finding people. She takes so fucking long to shower. It’s a wonder the whole compound still has hot water.
[One page of drawings follows: Dina smiling in the snow on her horse, Joel playing his guitar]
January 25th, 2038
Maria says that they’re thinking about breeding Shimmer soon. I know she told me because that means I’ll need to ride another horse for a little until she recovers and I know that we need another generation of foals, but it still made me cringe for Shimmer’s sake. She’s too free-spirited to be a mother. She doesn’t deserve that.
I went stargazing last night. It was pretty. Lots of shooting stars. I ran into the girl while I was coming back from the meadow. She gave me a weird look, and I could tell she wanted to ask me where I’d been but kept her mouth shut. Sometimes I regret dropping off that bag of clothes. I really fucking liked that gray sweatshirt, actually. I’m not even joking. It looks weird to see it on someone else.
[Half a page of drawing follows of the night sky with labeled constellations]
February 5th, 2038
Long time no see. I’ve been pretty busy with patrols and helping Maria with securing the walls. Joel made me try some of that coffee that our new house guest brought. It was just as awful as I remembered, but he seemed happy. So one point for the space girl. I guess.
Dina’s been hanging around more. She just broke up with Jessie (yes, again). She swears that it’s for good this time, but I’m not so sure. She also talks a lot about Y/N and what little detail she’s gathered about her life back in Terranova. I thought teasing her by asking her if she had a crush on Y/N would make her talk less about it, but it just made things worse.
I miss when things were normal.
[One page of drawings follows: one of Shimmer in cross-ties, another of a girl’s face, half-finished with the face scribbled out]
February 12th, 2038
Today I’m sad. I’m in bed with that book about astronomy that Joel nabbed for me on patrol a while ago and there’s a section I wanted to read that’s completely waterlogged. It shouldn't be a surprise. It’s decades old and has survived through an apocalypse. Normally things like this don’t bug me much because I’m so used to it. Half of my Savage Starlight collection is damaged. I don’t think I’ll ever find the first book to actually complete the series, and that’s okay, because I’ve never expected anything more. But now that I know that there’s a world out there where I’d never have problems like this, stuff like this hurts. It’s so stupid. I’m lucky to be alive. Compared to what’s left of the world population, I live a much cushier life than most. But for the first time in a while, I’m wishing for more.  
“Greed is the enemy of happiness” is what Maria would say if I ever said this kind of shit out loud. But is it really? Or is it just realizing what life can be?
[Half a page of a drawing of the solar system, with each planet labeled]
February 22nd, 2038
Maria let me pick the sire for Shimmer’s foal. It felt kind of gross, to be honest. I asked Maria if there was any way for Shimmer to choose and I was only sort of joking, but she just laughed anyway and patted my back. I won’t have to worry about finding a new horse for another two seasons or so, she told me. It’ll be weird not having her for a little.
She also told me that there was still no word from anyone who knew anything about Terranova. She said this to me in this placating voice, like she thought that I was going to punch a hole in the wall or something after hearing it. That seems to be common when it comes to people talking about Y/N and me. I don’t know why so many people think I don’t like her staying with us.
I don’t, by the way. Let me be clear. But I mostly feel indifferent about her now. She doesn’t bother me as much anymore, not since she started getting out of the house. I think she might be helping in the gardens, but I’ve never actually asked. We don’t talk a whole ton. I don’t think she likes me all that much.
[A drawing of Shimmer’s head poking over her stall door that takes up one page]
March 2nd, 2038
Today was finally our first nice day of the year. I would’ve enjoyed it more if the bird that lives in the tree outside my window hadn’t blown me out of bed at 4 in the fucking morning. I’m exhausted now. It’s been a long day. Joel says I need to take Y/N out on patrol soon. Why, I have no idea. Maybe he just wants me to actually befriend her or something, and I do nothing but patrols now. He can’t possibly expect her to be a good patrol partner.
Thankfully, I checked the logs when I came back. The route he wants me to cover with her has been the quietest all season. I doubt we’ll run into anything. If we do, I’ll probably be able to handle it. Hopefully.
[Half a page of doodles, mostly of nature and wildlife with the exception of a half-finished doodle of an arm clad in a fabric that drapes like silk and a hand with polished nails]
March 3rd, 2038
Many surprising things were learned today. I can’t believe it’s illegal to be gay in Terranova. Sorry. I shouldn’t laugh. It’s just—out of all the things they could be bothered by, it’s that? Really?
March 12th, 2038
I haven’t been good at journaling recently. I don’t really want to talk about why. You know why.
[Six pages of drawings, with many unfinished doodles of Y/N—including but not limited to her on her horse, her reading on the couch, and one with her sitting in what is a very loose interpretation of a classroom, taking notes]
March 13th, 2038
I will feel more normal tomorrow. Hopefully.
[Two pages of drawings, all of Y/N. One is her bent over a book, the other is her smiling up at you]
March 14th, 2038
I did something really stupid. I think I should probably just document this here so I don’t accidentally drunkenly spill it all out to Dina at the next bonfire. This is so embarrassing. I don’t get why I feel this way. It’s so stupid, you know? To feel anything towards someone who’s so…I don’t know. Different.
She gives me the weirdest looks sometimes. I can’t tell what they mean. It feels like she’s judging me. And why wouldn’t she be? I bet all the girls she spends her time around back home are just like her—perfect, orderly, pretty, proper. The day before I took her patrolling she gawked at the shorts I was wearing. It was borderline offensive. Actually, fuck that. It wasn’t borderline. It was offensive. You don’t just stare at people like that. She should know that.
Anyway, I invited her over to my room last night. Normal, right? Because we’ve been doing that a little since I took her on patrol, by the way. I’m not sure if I mentioned that before. But this time I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m…I don’t know. Creepy? Strange? Scary? She told me that she thought I was intimidating. And then I called her “untouched”, like how some old-timer devout Christian wackjob or whatever would describe virginity. It was so fucking weird of me. I don’t know what got into me, but she kept doing this thing where she kicked my foot with hers or touched my knee and it just threw me off. It took me forever to fall asleep last night—I kept replaying what I’d said to her, especially how I’d told her that she wouldn’t have made it if she were me like I was some sort of hardcore survivalist. I think I embarrassed her. I’m never doing anything like this again. I’m going to be dead sober every time I see her from now on.
I’ll stop talking about that. Y/N did come back after I’d made a fool of myself and showed me her collection of movies, so maybe it wasn’t so bad. I haven’t watched any movies since I was with Cat. When we first started dating, I’d invite her over and she’d sit right where Y/N did last night. I’m trying to not think of the implications, because it’s space girl, and she’s going home sometime soon.
[Three pages of drawings follow—some nature drawings of ferns and moths, others of Y/N with wet hair, her knees tucked up to her chin like she’d been in Ellie’s bed that night]
March 19th, 2038
It’s the Spring Equinox. That’s the first thing Y/N told me this morning when she saw me in the kitchen this morning. She gave me a mini lecture on what that meant for the planet’s axis tilt and I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I already knew, since she seemed really excited to tell me.
I made a horrible discovery yesterday, by the way. Maria came up to me and told me that Tommy had decided to reach out to some of his other buddies up North to see if they had any connections to Terranova, and for the first time, I felt myself hoping that it wouldn’t work.
It’s awful. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. Even in Jackson, where things are comparatively much better than the rest of the world, there’s risk. Just this winter, one family had to be kicked out when they were found hiding an infected son. No one here is completely safe, just safer. I shouldn’t be selfish. Y/N needs to go where she’s meant to be, where there’s no chance of infection or invasion. I’ll be fine. I just need to get over whatever this is.
Speaking of her, I need to go get her to tell her that we’re heading out on patrol in just a few minutes. Fingers crossed she doesn’t accidentally shoot me, but Joel swore up and down that she knows how to handle a gun now. Sure. Haha.
I’m back. It’s the middle of the night and she only just left my room. I don’t know how much detail I need to go into—chances are I won’t forget this. But for bookkeeping purposes: patrol did not go so hot. I had to give her stitches without any local anesthesia. I’ve never given stitches to anyone nearly in my lap before. I was really nervous, too. I don’t think I’ve ever had to focus so much on keeping my hands steady when it came to stitching someone up before, not even with Joel.
I’m starting to think that maybe I was wrong about thinking that she didn’t like me. I still can’t tell exactly what she thinks of me, and I know that it’s a really bad fucking idea to be entertaining thoughts like these, but tonight she did something that made me reconsider. She got under the covers with me, and instead of moving away to keep us from touching, she rested her head next to mine on the pillow.
I hope she couldn’t hear how much my heart was racing. People can’t hear that kind of stuff, right? Even if they’re close?
I’m being ridiculous. There’s no way she—No. She doesn’t see me like that.
March 21st, 2038
She rested her head on my shoulder today. I don’t know what to think of it. If she was normal and grew up like the rest of us did, I would know exactly what to think. But she’s not normal, and it’s not fair of me to treat her like she is. Maybe this is, like, a culturally acceptable thing back from where she grew up. Maybe rich people just cuddle each other all the time. I wouldn’t fucking know, and unfortunately no one in this godforsaken town can help, because there’s a distinct lack of what Maria calls the “bourgeoisie”. They’re all either dead or back where Y/N grew up, doing whatever rich snobs do.
Even if it is normal for her, I feel like I can’t stop analyzing everything she does. She seems more nervous around me than she does anyone else, but she lingers like she can’t help herself. I’ve noticed that she stumbles over her words and touches me much more than is really necessary. Or at least I think she does—maybe I’m just imagining things.
But even if it means what I think it does, I can’t let myself think like this. It’s not fair to her. No one deserves to live here if they have the choice. At least the people out here know how to handle it. She doesn’t, and I don’t want her to turn into the type of person who does.
When I stitched her up and teased her about being weak and sensitive, I think she thought I was insulting her. I try not to think about it, but if I let myself wallow too much, I’ll wonder what kind of person I’d be if I wasn’t so jaded. Maybe I’d draw more, or read more, or write more. Maybe I’d be an easier person to love. I didn’t get to choose how I turned out. It just happened to me.
So if she has the choice, I’m going to do everything I can to help her make the right one. I don’t want her to be like this.
March 29th, 2038
I had a dream about Riley last night. I haven’t had one of those in years, not since I was traveling with Joel. We were back in the mall, and Riley had just turned the lights on as a surprise. I had this feeling then, like I was being given a second chance. That I could set things straight and do what was right. I woke up before I could insist that we leave.
[A drawing takes up half of the next page. It’s a crude depiction of the mall Riley turned in.]
April 4th, 2038
It’s the middle of the night again. I can’t sleep. I’m so disappointed with myself about what I did tonight with Y/N. At the time, it seemed like a really good idea. She likes me back, apparently. I was right about everything that I wrote about earlier, I guess. But it certainly doesn’t feel like I thought it would.
It’s not like there’s no part of me that isn’t thrilled that she feels the same way. That’s why I gave in and slept with her. But even when she told me how she felt, even before I completely lost my self-control, something heavy was already hanging over me. Regret, maybe. Or guilt. I don’t know. What I do know is that this can’t last. I can’t make this good for her like I want to. She needs to go back, and she needs to be able to feel like she can make that choice without feeling like she’s leaving anything good behind.
I’m not a spiritual person. but even so, I can’t help but feel like that dream of Riley was a sign. This is my second chance. I’m not going to fuck it up this time. I’ve already been an accomplice of so much suffering. Y/N is going home, and I’ll never see her again when she does. That’s that.
It took all I had left in me in the end to kick her out. She looked so hurt, and the fact that she tried to hide it made it even worse. I wish I could tell her why this can’t work, but I don’t think she’d understand.
[A drawing of Y/N kissing Ellie’s palm follows, her hair slightly mussed]
April 6th, 2038
I need to stop making rash decisions like knocking on her door late at night and asking her to come over. I really don’t know what’s gotten into me, because whenever I see her now, I can’t help but freeze up. Like last night, when she kissed me and touched my face and told me she thought I was a good person. I panicked and told her—well, nevermind. I don’t really want to repeat it here. It was mean, but I didn’t know what else I could do to get her to stop.
She was already tearing up by the time she left. I had to sit down and breathe deeply for a few minutes before I was sure I wasn’t going to be sick. I don’t really think I want to write more about this right now. It just makes me sad how unfair this all is. Of course the one time after Cat that I meet someone I really like it just has to be in one of the cruelest scenarios possible. I just have no idea what to do.
[Five pages of drawings follow of Y/N in bed, her head tilted back against the pillow, her eye’s half lidded, and her mouth slightly agape. Ellie redraws this multiple times, x-ing out parts that don’t seem quite right]
April 10th, 2038
I know this is none of my business, but she’s been spending a lot of time with Dina lately. She nearly got herself killed getting a gift for me with Dina yesterday, which feels like some sort of especially cruel joke. The universe isn’t being very fucking subtle right now.
If what I’m worried about is right, at least Dina has the option to come with her up North. She’d test negative.
April 20th, 2038
I would really like it if I could have one short break from the misery that’s my life right now. I turned 20 yesterday, accidentally introduced Y/N to my ex, proceeded to get much drunker than I meant to, completely fell off my rocker and asked Y/N to stay the night, and then discovered this morning that not only has Terranova found Y/N but that my strategy of keeping Y/N at arm’s length completely failed.
She wants me to come with her, and she’s threatening to stay here otherwise. I did the only thing that I could think to do and snapped at her.
I’m so tired of this. I hate having to act like I don’t care. This is the third time now that I’ve had to say something nasty to her to keep her from getting too close. I just want to get in bed and sleep until she leaves and I can pretend like nothing ever happened and that everything is normal.
[One page of drawings of Y/N passed out in her bed and Y/N grinning while holding a lopsided cake]
April 28th, 2038
I know I haven’t been writing much again. Sorry about that. I just can’t bear to think about my life right now. I know I should be relieved—this is what I wanted. I wanted her to go where it’s best for her.
But there’s still that selfish part of me that keeps me up at night. Y/N is going to leave this place never knowing how I feel about her. Logically, that should be what I want. This way I won’t need to say a real goodbye. I know I won’t need to now, since she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. It’s really fucking immature of me to be so hurt by what she must think of me now, but I can’t stop.
I wonder how long it will take for me to stop feeling sad about this. I’ve never had to process anything like this where there’s nothing I can do. With Riley and Sam, I at least got to heal from the knowledge that I was going to help make the vaccine to save the world. But losing Y/N just because of where we come from is totally meaningless. I can go forward knowing that I made it easy for her to make the right decision, but that only goes so far.
I don’t know how I’m going to handle this. I’m going to practically live with Dina so I don’t need to be alone for the first few weeks.
I wish May 8th would just come already so she can go away and I can get on with my life.
May 1st, 2038
Things have changed some. Joel cornered me in the kitchen last night and told me that I needed to grow up and just appreciate the rest of the time I had left with Y/N. I was going to agree and try to walk past him, but he stopped me and told me that he needed me to escort Y/N. I guess he’s right. She can’t go alone, and Joel and Tommy are getting a little too old for week-long expeditions into the wilderness.
He also told me that I need to apologize to her and make things right, saying shit like I’d regret it forever if things ended between us like this. I don’t want to admit it, but I think he’s right. When I told him that she’d originally threatened to stay if I didn’t go with her, he blinked, hard. Then he told me that he had an idea.
I’m faking it. I’m telling her that I’m going, even though I’m going to leave her when she gets picked up. I don’t know how I’m going to pull it off. When I told her in the meadow last night, she was so happy. I know it’s really sappy and cliche to say this, but I felt my heart shatter, bit by bit. I’m not a very good liar, not to people who are important to me. But I suppose I’ve been lying to her all this time, kicking her out of my room and telling her that I didn’t want anything more with her.
I can do this, I think. I have to do this, or else she might threaten to stay, and I don’t think I have it in me to be cruel again. Not to her. I guess I’ll just trick myself into feeling like I’m actually coming with her, like we have a chance of actually being together. I don’t know. We’ll see.
[One drawing of Y/N laying down in the meadow that takes up half a page]
May 3rd, 2038
It’s easier than I expected. Y/N sleeps over in my room at night, and if I don’t think too hard about it, I can pretend like things will always be like this.
I’m getting to be such a sap, though. I almost broke down in the bathroom today while I was getting ready. It was over the stupidest thing—a toothpaste bottle. Y/N always folds it so neatly, making a perfect, tight spiral of plastic near the end. It used to really bother me when I first had to share with her (because who does that—it’s weird and doesn’t do anything since she doesn’t manage to squeeze out the extra in the bottom anyways), but the thought of throwing it out when it finally emptied and having to find another one that’ll never be folded again hit me and suddenly I was counting my inhales and exhales. I don’t really give a shit about toothpaste. It’s just that it was the moment that I realized that she’s really going to be gone soon, you know? Slowly but surely, the evidence of her stay here will be wiped away and replaced. Someday I’ll forget all the little details about her.
She’s knocking on my door. I need to stop being so depressed and go see her before she picks up that something’s wrong.
[One small doodle of Y/N smiling and rolling her eyes while brushing her teeth]
May 6th, 2038
Dina’s coming now. Y/N told me this morning after she went to say goodbye. I feel really shitty about this. I guess I should tell her that I’m not going now, because this way Y/N needs to go home to get Dina the help she needs, but I just can’t bring myself to. I’ll have to escort both of them to the pickup spot anyway since Dina’s weaker now that she’s pregnant, and the thought of having to spend a full week with Y/N after she knew I lied to her makes my skin crawl. I can’t tell who I’m trying to protect by doing this—me or her. Maybe both.
I’m losing my two favorite people here, and they don’t even know it yet. But this is the best option. This is my chance to finally do some good in the world.
May 7th, 2038
I’m about to go stargazing with Y/N for the last time. I don’t think I’ll be writing in here again until I get back. I don’t want to risk losing this while I’m out in case something crazy happens. Which it probably will, but I canonically happen to be really good at living when shit hits the fan. Also—I don’t imagine Y/N to be a particularly nosy person, but if she ever came across this and thought it was a book or something, it would make things really awkward. So, you’re staying tucked carefully under my bed until I come back later this month.
I don’t know how to handle this sort of goodbye. I don’t really know how to handle any sort of goodbye, I guess, but at least I’ve been through them before. I may not do it well, but I know how to live when people I love die. But this isn’t like that. No one is dying (hopefully), and more importantly, I know it’s a goodbye this time. I see it coming on the horizon and I can’t even tell anyone about it. How does anyone deal with that? How does anyone cope?
Y/N’s knocking on my door now. I need to go before I start thinking even more and do something stupid like start crying or whatever.
I’ll be back in about two weeks.
June 1st, 2038
Sorry for not writing. It’s been pretty shitty, actually. It took me 5 extra days to get home because some scavengers gave me trouble. I hardly slept for most of them. I ran out of ammo about 4 days out and had to use my knife for everything I ran into until I was able to raid the cabinets of this abandoned cabin. Nearly got taken out by a clicker, too. It was not fun. It was especially not fun because I was not feeling super great to begin with, for obvious reasons.
Things haven’t gotten any better since getting back to Jackson. Y/N didn’t take her stupid Exoplanetary Systems textbook and now I’m struggling with whether or not I should throw it out. The rational side of me says to keep it because it was published after the outbreak and probably contains updated information that isn’t anywhere else. The rest of me doesn’t even want to look at the stars anymore because it reminds me of her.
It’s really hard not to blame her for ruining everything. I can’t go out and ride my own horse without thinking about the first time we went on patrol together and she dropped my gun and nearly killed one of us. And I can’t even relax in my own home, because I’ve spent almost every night with her since March in my bed. Sometimes when I hear a creak in the middle of the night I assume it’s her walking down to the bathroom or getting water until it hits me again that she’s never coming back.
I know I’m being melodramatic. There are many other worse problems I could be having right now. But I don’t even have my best friend anymore. I wonder if Dina and Y/N are angry with me for lying. I wonder if they’re settling in okay. I hope that Y/N manages to fix whatever her research was and that Dina gets better.
[Twenty pages of drawings of Y/N and Dina together. Some are snippets of them on their expedition to the pickup site. Others are pictures of Y/N and Dina walking around with smiles on their faces in what looks to be a city]
June 21st, 2038
It’s been over a month since I’ve last seen her. I had a breakdown while getting ready for bed when I realized that I didn’t remember what her voice sounded like anymore.
[Ten pages of half-finished drawings, each with its face scribbled over]
June 28th, 2038
I don’t think I really remember what she looks like—not exactly. I’ve been trying to draw her because I’m still in the habit of making decisions that are definitely not good for my mental state. I just can’t do it, and it isn’t for the lack of trying. Every time I get to her eyes I keep drawing something that looks wrong, but I can never tell why. I compare it to my earlier drawings of her from when we first met and it feels like meeting her for the first time again.
Joel says it’ll pass and that he’s proud of me for doing the right thing. Jessie and I have been hanging out more. Even if he won’t admit it, I can tell he’s miserable without Dina. But he understands why she had to go—just like how I feel about Y/N. And Dina too, of course. Jackson feels like a ghost town without her.
July 17th, 2038
I haven’t been writing or drawing in here for a while, I know. I was going to just go ahead and start a new journal—you know the one that Maria gave me for Christmas with the dark blue cover—but it didn’t feel right to just stop without explaining. Otherwise I’ll feel like an asshole for wasting so much paper.
I don’t want to move on from what happened with Y/N and Dina. I really don’t, but I don't think I have a choice. If I keep going on like this, I’ll never be able to live normally again. I’m just sick and tired of being sad all of the time. So I’m not going to write here anymore. I don’t think it’s realistic for me to forget all about it, because I don’t want to forget her. Not really. But I guess if I want to get better, I’ll need something different. So, here’s that. The beginning of my fresh start. “Fresh start” and you call me overdramatic!! haha. Y/N was here!
(You left this on your nightstand. I promise I didn’t read too much. I opened it because I thought it was your sketchbook. I’m going to put this back since I hear you walking down the hall now.)
ok as an aside my blog is broken so my stuff isn’t notifying people when i tag/showing up on dashes or in tags. please reblog if you’re comfortable so people can actually find this! thank you!
final a/n: i totally get it if this wasn’t quite your cup of tea this time—i just really wanted to iron out ellie’s pov before their reunion in the end. which is happening and not a spoiler because i have always promised a hea! this was a change in pace for the story and i promise you that the next chapter will be more normal/align more with my normal writing style. i have also changed my mind (probably) and have decided to stick with writing an epilogue! so two more chapters are coming before this is totally over. thank you so much for waiting and being so patient! i love you all dearly ok bye bye now
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rxsilabeth--er · 1 month
Note
Regulus and reader who usually hate each other but one late night after a crappy letter from his mom and half a bottle..drunk confession??
:: You're worth a shot!
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Now calling....Author: "Hello? Yes, thank you so much for this request, it was a darling one to write, so much fun and more. Sorry for any mistakes!!"
Now calling....Synopsis: "Hello?....You know being drunk is much better than crying over a letter from a cruel parent...at least's in Regulus's opinion...especially if it helps you gain a certain someone.."
Now calling....Warnings: "Drinking, drunk Reggie has a lot of mood swings, is more emotional and expressive than regular Reggie, Walburga as a whole, abusive relationship with parents...usual marauder's era shit. reader plays quidditch and is a seeker and is a Slytherin. There is a secret room in the tower of Slytherin which Slytherins use for partying...This is horrible, leave me alone"
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Regulus had quite a few nerves which can easily be ticked off with even a action or a word..And you supposedly had a talent of easily doing it as if taking in a breath would annoy him.
Supposedly it started with quidditch, how you were called a better Seeker than him and it pissed him off...Not like you ever did hurt him personally, but something seemed to just tick him the wrong way when you were around; he was not only easily angered, but also prone to more accidents, stuttering, zoning out, face turning red like he was having a heart attack, etc.
He's still quite a sight in your eyes, with his pale skin, pretty hair, gorgeous kissable lips, gorgeous smile which come out when he's happy and he shines brighter than the sun..I mean, he could show beauty in things there isn't even any beauty present and that was on thing you liked about him, no matter how much you pretended not to.
Sighing, you softly walked up the Slytherin tower to the higher, grand room, or "the party room" as all the Slytherins refer to it as, mostly it's empty leaving the quidditch days where they party for no reason, even if they win or lose, does not matter a party would be there at times.. And if not, it was usually a relaxing place or a place for manual breakdowns and it had a plague outside which told you if it's occupied or not..
Honestly you hoped it wouldn't be occupied, but just your luck as the plague said "Occupied: Regulus Arcturus Black" as you internally groaned, leaning against the door and sliding down as you lit a cigarette and sighed taking a drag, as you sighed, hearing a lot of screaming, you looked at it in slight worry, was Regulus fighting with someone...But you ignored it, sitting outside, you already weren't on good terms, don't wanna make that worse..
You sat there for a while or for how long you had no idea, but you did finishing around three cigarettes before you sighed and stood up, just what the hell was this idiot doing?! I mean, you literally finished multiple cigarettes, you sighed before knocking on the door, hearing no response you banged loudly,
"Oi! Regulus, you bastard, open this damn door!" you called out in as you heard a soft thud afterwards, but the door didn't open, groaning you pulled your wand, placing it at the knob, "Alohomora." you muttered, as the door shifted open with a soft creek.
Pushing it open, you saw the sight of the ark scene with Regulus laying on the floor surrounded by a few bottles of firewhiskey and a three to four glasses, indicating he wasn't the only here before, others were too, but considering the brains in his group, you figured they already learned to apparate and were out of here.. and on the table beside his head was a the chars of a letter
Seeing you, Regulus piped up as a bright smile came on his face, "Oh my god! Hi!!!" he said usually brightly and sweetly and nicely making you cringe a bit as you confusedly waved, "Hi?" you said as he scrambled up and stumbled towards you, reeking of alcohol, sighing you helped him and laid him down in the bed the place had provided, using your wand to shut the door and locking it,
"Ugh, you stink, dammit." you grumbled, sitting him down as he simply stared at you, mesmerized, "What?!" You asked a bit too roughly, possibly from the annoyance of waiting so long and having him drunk, the whole place reeked and it wasn't fun, whatever it was, apparently you were TOO mean....as suddenly tears began to fill his eyes as he turned over, crossing his arms and huffing softly, "Fucking cunt." he grumbled making you stare at his angrily crying stature in disbelief.
Sighing, you put a hand on his shoulder which he swatted, "Oh my god, okay, I'm sorry!" you said huffing yourself as you seated yourself on a bean bag across from him as he stared at you with tears and arms crossed, cheeks slightly puffed out and red and an angry pout on his lips, it was cute enough to make you kiss it away..but forget those thought! He's your enemy!!
"You fucking cunt, how dare you be better than me?!" he asked pushing your shoulder softly, making you stare at him in disbelief as you relaxed yourself across the somewhat large bean bag and continued to tap your wand on your head,
"because of you, my mother sent me a howler, yelling at me! Even Bellatrix tried to curse me...How dare you be better than me, e a good seeker, have people think of you as better and still be attractive enough for me to makeout with you in the hallways the moment I see you so those idiotic bitches can know to stay away from you, fuck you!" he ranted, huffing and turning away, crossing his arms as you stared at him appalled shock, what....?!
You stared at him before sighing softly, fixing your position to sit sincerely and a bit softly staring ta him, anger softly washing away at his druken self, "..Okay, okay, sorry... Are you saying you're mad at me and in love with me?" you asked in confusion as he nodded,
"Yes, cunt.", "Okay.... :)"
you said giving him a bread smile as he continued to huff and look away, sighing you figured you'd have to make hiim smile again and do something, "Hey, now! Don't get mad...I like you too." you said sighing as he still continued to grumble, but simply stood up and shifted to sit in your lap his arms still crossed and still looking away as you grinned and poked his waist, "hey, you're gonna crush me.", "I don't care, handle it." he hummed simply, sighing as you softly thought of the last thing to make him stop being hissy and angry.
Softly you held his face in a hand, squeezing his cheeks as you kissed and suddenly his tense and stiff manner became more affectionate in a matter of seconds as his hands roamed up your chest and neck before tangling themselves in your hair at your nape, pulling you to press his lips more to your lips, your hands softly holding his waist and squeezing with a grin, guess he did stop being hissy and mad :>
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© This writing work belongs to me, rxsilabeth--er, Aurelia, Rosilabeth, Cerine. Reblogging is appreciated, but plagiarizing or copying my works is forbidden, thank you for reading this and if you like this check out my blog!
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Text
Everything Falls Into Place
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~2.4k
Warnings: fluff, worrying about not being able to adopt a child, anxiety
Request by anon: Aww if steve and vixen settle down imagine them fostering or adopting a child. In their words "adoption helps a kid"
Summary: You and Steve start the process of adopting a child. There are a lot of steps that you have to go through, including a background check. You're worried about your past as Vixen is finally going to bite you in the ass. This is it. This is the other shoe you've been waiting for to drop.
Cat and Mouse Masterlist
Squares Filled: social worker au (2021) for @star-spangled-bingo
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
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Tick. Tock.
Tick. Tock.
Tick. Tock.
“What is taking her so long?” you sigh impatiently.
“She’s only been gone five minutes. Calm down,” Steve chuckles from beside you. Steve looks over at you to see you bouncing your leg from how nervous you are. You’re wringing your fingers together to keep yourself from biting your nails. “Y/N, you’re acting like a criminal who just got caught. Take a deep breath.”
“Steve, this woman is the decider on whether or not we have a child. Forgive me if I’m a little anxious.”
Your social worker, Amy, takes another ten minutes before she’s back in the office, and you let out a relieved sigh that she hasn’t kicked you out… yet.
“I am so sorry. We’re extremely backed up,” she says and takes a seat across from you.
“It’s no problem,” Steve smiles politely.
“So, you’re looking to adopt a child? It’s a big responsibility.”
“Yes, ma’am. We’ve actually been wanting this for a while now.”
“Why now? Why not then?”
You and Steve look at each other in thought. Maybe it’s because you two were out fighting in wars you had no business being in. Maybe it’s because you finally came face to face with Zemo again after so many years of being away from him, and you almost killed him. Maybe it’s because even though you think you’re ready to be parents… you’re actually not.
“We felt like the timing wasn’t right,” Steve finally answers and peels his eyes away from you.
“Have you always wanted to have children?”
“Yes, I have,” Steve answers honestly. “For as long as I could remember.”
“And you?” Amy asks.
“In the beginning, yes. I mean, when I was a lot younger. Some shit happened to me and I didn’t allow myself to feel that way until recently. Maybe in the last couple of years? I can’t have children biologically, but I do want one.”
“I never know how to ask this question despite how many years I’ve been doing this, but what kind of parents would you two be?”
“I can’t say for sure. How can anyone know for sure? We’ve never taken care of a child before. There will be obstacles that we might not know how to get over but I can tell you one thing. We will do our very best to make sure this child is loved, safe, and raised to be the best person they can be.”
“That’s a good answer,” Amy smiles and writes in her notebook. Steve rubs his thumb on the back of your hand comfortingly. “This is going to be a long process but I have confidence that it will go by quicker than you think.” She hands over a piece of paper to Steve. “Here is a list of everything I will be needing by the end of this week. Legal papers. You know how it goes. Next will be an extensive background screening for everyone living in the adoptive household. After that will be the in-home interview and inspection of the home.”
You don’t hear anything past background screening. What if they find out about Vixen? They won’t want to give you a child when they figure out how many people you’ve killed. What if they come for the home inspection and find your room of weapons? You’re not getting a kid.
“Okay,” you squeak out.
Steve notices your panic but decides not to say anything about it until you two leave the office building.
“What’s going on?”
“What if they find out about Vixen? The Winter Soldier? My time in Hydra?”
“They won’t--”
“What if they do?” you cut him off. “What if they don’t see me fit to be a mother? What about the guns and shit we have at the house? They’re not going to allow us to be parents with all that there.”
“Baby, you need to calm down. We’re going to do fine.”
His words go in through one ear and out the other. You hear him talk but you’re not listening to a word he’s saying. When you get home, you immediately head to the room with all your weapons and begin taking them off the wall. If you’re going to make this house suitable for a child, you have to make sure it’s safe for one.
“Y/N, it’s going to be fine.”
“No, it’s not. We live in a state where it’s illegal to carry outside your home. We aren’t even allowed to have this many weapons in the house.”
Steve knows you have to do this in order to make yourself feel better. He leaves you to box the weapons while he gets his phone out of his pocket. He calls Bucky, Sam, and Nat to come over because he thinks having them here is going to help you. He has always been the more level-headed one in the relationship which is why he’s being so calm about this. He has faith that everything is going to work out just fine.
“How long has she been like this?” Nat asks when she gets there.
“Since we left the social worker.” They know you and Steve have wanted a child for a while now. “Nothing I say matters.”
“Hey, Y/N,” Natasha says and walks into the room. “You doing okay?”
“No, I’m not. I have to get these weapons out of here. Can you keep them for a while?”
“Sure. You’re going to do just fine. If anyone deserves a kid, it’s you two.”
“No, it’s not okay. Amy is going to come in here and see all these weapons and she is not going to give us a child. This isn’t safe for one. Or she will know I’m Vixen and think wow, a mass murderer assassin doesn’t deserve a kid. Or she’ll know about Bucky, Thanos, and everything else we have done in our lives.”
“Would it help if we helped you?”
“Yeah,” you smile.
Bucky, Sam, Nat, and Steve help clear out the room until it’s bare. This is the room you’re going to use for the nursery. You don’t have any supplies since you’re not sure when you’re going to be getting a kid, so you’ll keep it bare for now. Bucky and Nat take the weapons to hold onto until this whole thing blows over. Your house has a basement that you can put them into only until after the inspections are done.
On the day of the interview and home inspection, you have cookies baking in the oven to give the home a sweet smell. You have been cleaning all day to ease your worries. Steve is nervous as hell but less than you are.
“I think this is the tenth time you fluffed that pillow.”
“It has to be perfect.”
“It is. You are. It’s going to be fine.”
“I know. It’s going to be great,” you smile. Amy shows up on the dot, and you let her in eagerly. “Welcome to our home. It’s good to see you again.”
“Thank you. Wow, smells good in here.”
“I have cookies that just left the oven. Would you like one?”
“No, thank you. I have two more visits to do. Not to sound rude but I’d like to get started right away.”
“Of course.”
You two lead her to the living room and sit across from her. Steve reaches for your hand and pulls it into his lap.
“To start with, why don’t you two tell me what you two do for a living?”
“We are employed with Stark Industries,” Steve says. Happy sends money to every Avenger on behalf of Tony. You don’t need a job when your job is saving people who need it. Does she not know you two are Avengers? “We make about two hundred thousand each every year.”
“Do you enjoy your work?”
“We love it. I can’t see myself doing anything else.”
“What are some of your hobbies?” Amy asks you.
“I love to sew. I love making my own clothes. I actually made my own wedding dress. It brings me peace whenever it’s just me, a needle, and some fabric.”
“And you?” Amy asks Steve while writing in her notebook.
“I like to draw, sometimes. I’ve been practicing more these days. I like to fish. We have a cabin up north that we like to go to when the weather is nice.”
“Tell me about your marriage, and how your relationship is with your significant other.”
You look at Steve and smile lovingly at him.
“There is nothing I wouldn’t do for this man. He has saved me in ways you can’t possibly imagine. He’s my best friend. Sure, we have our ups and downs, but there is nothing we can’t accomplish together.”
“She said it right,” Steve chuckles. “I love her with all of my being. Our marriage has been nothing but great for these past few years. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
“That’s sweet,” Amy smiles and writes. “Tell me about your relationship with your parents.”
“Both our parents are dead. We don’t have any living relatives,” you answer. 
“To get with the technical questions, why do you want to adopt?”
“I’ve mentioned this before but I’m sterile. I can’t have children on my own. I know Steve wants a family. This is the only way I know how to give it to him. We don’t want to do fostering or a surrogate. We feel like it’s more our style to adopt.”
“What she said,” Steve chuckles.
“If granted the opportunity to adopt, what are your hopes for your child?”
“That they’re a good person,” Steve answers. “That they’ll see someone who needs help and will want to do that for them. Who will love unconditionally.”
“Alright,” Amy writes. “This is everybody’s least favorite section. I’ve done your background checks.” Your heart drops. This is it. This is where she tells you that you can’t adopt. “Now my main concern is your work with Hydra. You are the Vixen.”
“Were,” you correct. “I’m not that person anymore. Yes, I have done a lot of bad things in my life. Things you can’t possibly imagine. That isn’t who I am now. I have healed from that part of me. I got help. I made amends. I got Hydra out of my head. I don’t associate myself with those people anymore.”
“What about Bucky?”
“Bucky is healed, as well,” Steve takes over. “He went to Wakanda and underwent the same thing she did. They’re both trying to move on from their past.”
“That’s all it is, Amy. It’s my past. It’s not my present and it sure as hell isn’t going to be my future.”
Amy goes through more routine questions before she gets ready for the house inspection. You tell her the plans you have for the empty room which will be the nursery. She doesn't say much but she does write a lot of stuff down.
“Thank you for coming,” you say when she is done.
“I’ll be touch.”
As soon as the front door is closed, your smile is lost.
“God, we’re not going to get a kid. Did you see the look on her face when she mentioned Vixen? She knows I’ve killed before. What person would want me to be a mother?”
Steve pulls you close and lets you vent. “We won’t know more for a while. Let’s just try and keep a calm head. Even if she says no, we can try other avenues. We will be parents. You’d be a loving mother.”
And wait you did. For two long weeks. You thought that was their way of telling you that you weren't going to have a kid. Until your phone rang and changed your entire life.
“Hello?” you answer frantically.
“Hi, Y/N? I have some news regarding your adoption application.” You and Steve wait with held breaths. “I am very happy to say you’ve been approved. I can’t wait to work with you.”
“We can get a kid?” you ask tearfully.
“That’s the first part of the process. We have sent in your application to mothers who are looking to put their children up for adoption. If and when they pick you, I will call with the next steps.”
“Thank you so much.” You cry when she hangs up. “We’re getting a kid.”
Steve pulls you in and kisses the top of your head emotionally. You have to wait for a birth mother to pick you so until then, you just have to wait. Most couples wait months or even years to get called, but you get a call from Amy only a couple of days later with a date set to meet a birth mother who chose your application among a few others. You’re nervous as hell because what if she doesn’t pick you? What if she hates you as soon as she meets you?
You get to the office where the meetings are held and wait for Amy and the birth mother to come. Her name is Jessica and she is too young to be having a kid. She is only twenty-three and she doesn't want kids at this age. Maybe when she is older but definitely not now.
Jessica walks in and seems to be about six months pregnant. She just came back from meeting a potential couple, so you straighten up and smooth down your skirt to make yourself look more presentable.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you two. My name is Jessica.”
“Y/N and this is my husband, Steve. Thank you for seeing us.”
“Yeah, I was intrigued when I read about your hobbies and your work with Stark Industries. Did you know Tony?”
“Uh, yeah.” You look at Steve and have a silent conversation through your eyes. If she is going to pick you, she should know exactly who you are. “I hope this doesn’t affect us negatively but he’s Captain America and I’m… Vixen.”
It takes Jessica all of five seconds before she starts crying. This is it. This is where she runs for the hills and gets you blacklisted from ever adopting a child.
“Captain America saved my life,” she sniffles. “I was visiting a friend in Sokovia when Ultron happened. You saved me.” She turns to Amy and wipes her eyes. “I don’t want to see anyone else.” She looks at you with a teary smile. “I can’t think of anyone better to care for my child than you two.”
“I’ll get the paperwork started,” Amy smiles and leaves the room.
You can’t believe what you’re hearing. You’re getting a kid. You’re getting a kid. You’re finally able to start your own family.
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