#but it was more good than bad. staying up late to watch the streams and getting excited over theories and all of it. i’ll miss that part | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pockettwinzz · 2 days

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My Heaven - S.JY

୨୧ Warnings ୨୧ : Fluff, Angst, Toxic parents, Kissing, SFW, not proofread

୨୧ A/N ୨୧ : wrote this in a haste cause i really wanted to release smth for the weekend so I apologize if it's bad :3. Also enhypen's releasing a new version of dark moon ><

୨୧ Word count ୨୧ : 1.7k

As you sat in your new college classroom, your mind drifted away from the mundane lecture on ancient history. You couldn't help but wonder how the rest of your college experience would turn out. With your perfect 4.0 GPA from high school, you had been accepted into one of the most prestigious universities in the country. However, even though you had been top of your class and had received countless awards and accolades, it seemed that your parents were never truly happy with you. They constantly pressured you to study even harder and to strive for even greater heights.

Meanwhile, Jake, who had coasted through high school with mediocre grades and minimal effort, had been welcomed into this new university with open arms. Everyone seemed to love him, and he was constantly surrounded by a group of friends. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy as you watched him laugh and joke with them during the break.

As the semester progressed, you found yourself struggling to keep up with the workload. Your classes were more challenging than you had anticipated, and the constant pressure from your parents only made matters worse. You often found yourself staying up late into the night, hunched over your books, tears streaming down your face as you tried to understand the complex concepts and theories.

Life wasn't going how you wanted it too and seeing others, mostly Jake, sucked up to the professors, get high grades without much effort made you feel even worse. You didn't understand why your parents always thought you were useless. You tried to talk to them about it, to tell them that you were doing your best, but they never listened. They just kept pushing you harder, telling you that you could do better. You started to lose hope, to feel like you were drowning in a sea of academic expectations.

You never knew when it happened, maybe when Jake stole the first position, or maybe when he scored more marks from you on that one chemistry practical, but it was safe to say you hate him. You hated him for being so perfect, for being so loved, for being able to do everything effortlessly while you had to work your ass off to get even a B. You hated him for making your life miserable, for making you feel like you were never good enough, for making you feel like you were nothing but a burden to your parents.

One day, after yet another grueling exam, you decided that you'd had enough. You couldn't take it anymore. You walked up to Jake in the hallway, your hands shaking with anger and frustration. "Why do you get everything so easy?" you demanded, your voice quivering with emotion. "Why does everyone love you and hate me?"

Jake looked taken aback by your outburst, his perfect features twisting into a frown. "What?".

"Why does it always have to be like this?" you cried, your voice cracking. "Why does everyone always love you and hate me? I just want to be normal, just once!" You felt like you were about to burst, like all of the anger and frustration you'd been feeling for so long was building up inside of you, ready to explode. You didn't know why you were telling Jake any of this, but you couldn't help it. You needed someone to understand.

Jake hesitated for a moment, seeming unsure of how to respond. Finally, he took a step closer to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. "Look, I get it," he said softly. "It's hard sometimes, trying to live up to everyone's expectations. But you know what? You're amazing. You're smart, and talented, and you've got so much to offer. You just need to believe in yourself, okay?"

"Shut up" you snapped, shrugging his hand off your shoulder. "You don't understand anything. You've never had to struggle, never had to fight for anything." You turned away from him, anger and hurt burning in your chest. "Stop pretending to be so nice. I hate it, I hate you"

Jake let out a sigh, looking genuinely hurt. "I'm sorry if I've ever done anything to make you feel that way," he said quietly.

You turned back to him, tears streaming down your face. "It's not just you," you sobbed. "It's everyone. I'm just so tired of feeling like I'm never good enough. I'm tired of feeling like a burden." Jake's expression softened, and he reached out to wipe away a tear from your cheek.

"You're not a burden," he said gently. "And you are good enough. You're more than good enough. You just need to remember that." He hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath. "And you know what? If it means that much to you, I'll help you. I'll help you get through this."

You looked up at him, surprised by his offer. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you want me to help you, I will. I'll study with you, or whatever you need. We can work together to get through this," Jake explained, his voice firm but gentle. "Because you're right, it's not fair. You are good enough, and you deserve to be happy. You deserve to have people believe in you."

You felt a strange sensation in your chest, like a warmth spreading through you. You didn't quite understand it, but it was nice. It was nice to feel like someone actually cared. "Really?" you asked, looking up at him. "You'd really help me?"

Jake nodded, his expression sincere. "Yeah, of course I would. We're friends, aren't we? Besides, it's not like I've got everything easy. I've just learned how to deal with it."

As tensions began to ease between you, Jake started to show you a different side of himself. He'd always been considerate and caring, but now those qualities seemed to shine brighter than ever before. He'd listen intently when you spoke, offering thoughtful advice and encouragement. He'd laugh at your jokes, even when they weren't funny, and he'd make an effort to include you in group activities. You began to feel a warmth in your chest whenever he was around.

One day, as you studied together in the library, you noticed Jake looking at you in a way that made your heart skip a beat. His eyes seemed to hold an intensity that you'd never seen before, and it made you feel both nervous and excited at the same time. As you spoke, he'd occasionally glance at you, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips. It was then that you realized, with a start, that you were in love with him.

Over the next few weeks, your friendship blossomed into something deeper. The way Jake treated you, with respect and admiration, made you feel like the most special person in the world. You found yourself looking forward to spending time with him, just talking or watching a movie. The gentle way he touched your hand when he passed you a pen or the way he'd tease you about your favorite TV shows only served to intensify the feelings you had for him.

One evening, as you studied together in his room, the lights were low and the only sound was the soft rustling of pages. You were so engrossed in your work that you didn't even notice how close Jake was sitting to you. You were acutely aware of his presence, of the way his shoulder brushed against yours every time he reached for a pen or turned a page. The air between you seemed to crackle with an electricity that you couldn't quite explain.

As the night wore on, you found yourself glancing up at him more and more often, studying the lines of his face, the way his hair fell across his forehead, the way his lips moved as he spoke. You felt your heart race every time he looked at you, and you could swear that there was something different in his eyes. Something warm and intense.

You tried to concentrate on your work, but your mind kept wandering, drifting back to the way he'd been acting. You wondered if he felt the same way about you. You wondered what he would do if you confessed your feelings. A part of you was terrified of ruining your friendship, but another part of you longed for something more. Something deep and lasting. Something real.

"J-jake," you stammer, your voice barely audible over the thunder of your heart. "I-I love you." The words hang in the air between you, heavy and palpable, as if they've been weighing on your chest for far too long. You feel your face flush with embarrassment, but at the same time, there's a strange sense of relief in finally getting the words out.

Jake goes still, his eyes widening in surprise. He hesitates for a moment, searching your face, before exhaling softly and leaning in closer. His lips meet yours, tentatively at first, but with a growing intensity that takes your breath away. You can feel the heat of his body pressed against yours, his hands gently cupping your cheeks as he deepens the kiss.

The world around you fades away as you lose yourself in the sensation of being connected to him. His taste, his smell, the feel of his skin against yours—it's all so familiar and yet so new at the same time. You moan into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck, wanting more of him.

Jake responds eagerly, deepening the kiss even further. His tongue dances with yours, teasing and exploring, sending shivers down your spine. You can feel the passion building inside of you, a warmth spreading through your entire body. You never knew you could feel this way about someone, this alive, this desired.

As you break away from the kiss, your eyes meet his, and you see the love reflected there. It's a look of wonder and awe, as if he can't quite believe how lucky he is to be sharing this moment with you. He trails his fingers down your cheek, over your jawline, and to your lips again, this time softly tracing their outline.

"I love you too, Yn," he whispers. "I've loved you for a long time."

Your heart soars at his words, and you feel a newfound sense of joy and security wash over you. You realize that this is what you've always wanted, to be truly loved and cherished by someone as wonderful as Jake. You lean in and kiss him again, this time with more passion and longing, as if you could never get enough of his lips on yours.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡Permanent Taglist ༘˚⋆𐙚｡ @cha-eui @alvojake @heeslut4life @wondipity @dollywons @wonlvkay

{reply or send ask to be added Minors + blogs w/o ages DNI}

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mossflower · 7 months

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stares at my bio

#realistically. i do not post owl house anymore and haven’t really for months. and am unlikely to post about it again #but i feel weird taking it out!! i loved that show!! i still love it!! i’m just not fandombrained abt it anymore #like it’s not even on the backburner like tma or good omens is. dw is a long term interest. i’m actively into tlt #i think of toh as a show i love. just not in that way anymore ok this sounds like a breakup why am i being so dramatic #tbh i do not miss the fandom. kinda a cesspit of deranged takes and insane discourse. made me a main tags avoider #it felt like secondary school? everyone being weirdly mean and hiding it under a progressive skin and jokes?#lbr thats bc most ppl were teenagers. me included lol #but it was more good than bad. staying up late to watch the streams and getting excited over theories and all of it. i’ll miss that part #but the next time i say ‘hey this cartoon looks pretty cool’ i need someone to bodily tackle me to the ground and stop me. it’s not worth i #rip morgan’s animation era 2020-2023 i guess <3 #nvm. i’ll just replace toh with homestuck! which is still kinda wild to me lol #like if you told the me of a year ago that i would be into homestuck more than toh rn i would not have believed you #morganposting

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makelemonade · 14 days

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smut scenarios with genshin men

ayato, neuvillete, pantalone, diluc, wriothesly, childe, dottore (?), capitano, pierro- his maid/assistant

he loved how cute you were; How you always pulled your skirt up and showed off your thighs; How you always had your hair done, as if you had someone to impress.

You had him to impress, actually. He watches you bend down with a sharp eye, feeling himself harden just at the show of extra skin and excuses himself as he goes to the privacy of his office, jerking off as he imagines you bending over his lap as he spanks the revealed skin that just sends him haywire.

He starts requesting you stay late while the other workers go home, and he hopes you don't see through his facade but you oh so clearly can and you of course accept the request.

One night, you can hear him groan from the stress of his constant work and you knock at the door, waiting for his tired voice to speak.

"Come in,"

You walk in, and slight surprise overtakes him but there's a happy spark in his eyes. "Y/N, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I just thought you could use some help with your work," You spoke slyly and innocently as you walked up to his desk/

He looked at you confused, "What do you- oh,"

He lets out a groan when your fingers started to firmly yet softly dig into his back, hitting all the right spots as he completely relaxes.

He wants to say this is unprofessional- you're his boss! But was jerking off to you and fantasizing about you professional? No.

That was his reasoning for his boldness when he speaks. "You know, I'm feeling rather sore...down here."

That is how you find yourself in his lap, bouncing on his fat cock as you tried to stay quiet, but it was hitting such amazing spots and so deep into you that you couldn't help yourself but to scream his name.

"nghh- oh! yes, yes!"

If it was possible, it was turning him on even more- watching you struggle to take his large size but still trying to ride him just to be his stress relief. Instead, he decides to thrust up into you, making you stop trying and instead lean against him, wrapping your arms around him as he placed his hands on your hips, taking the lead and sending you into purebliss.

"oh~ oh! fuck...so deep!"

"if you're truly so keen on being such a good stress relief for me, well, then I hope you don't mind if I rail you for the rest of the night...and possibly every other.

thoma, kaeya, kazuha, Itto, aether, albedo, zhongli - a shrine maiden (or anything related in the other regions)

He doesn’t know what it is but there’s something about your innocence that he just needs to ruin.

Well, not ruin: he thinks it’s adorable, but he knows that one day someone else will see you in a way he fantasizes about late at night and he is determined to become that person because no one else deserves to see you in a way like that other than him.

He takes more frequent trips to where you work, to the point that it’s so often you find yourself hugging him when you see him and you don’t think about the way he holds on tightly, hands right above your ass.

However, you weren’t as innocent as he thought. Sure, you were completely oblivious ro the truth behind his actions but late at night, there was a possibility you had the same fantasias about it too. But you couldn’t show it to him! No, you had a job to do and it was to stay pure.

You just loved the way his touches were so teasing as they lingered near the places you oh so wish you could take care of.

It becomes so bad it starts to ache, and you find yourself at his door after coming back from work, needing his help for this relief and he is so happy to oblige.

Tears streamed down your face, moaning at how good his cock felt as it pushed into you so deeply, hitting all the spots your fingers never could.

“f-faster…” You gasped, “please!”

He could only let out a deep chuckle, his movement becoming harsher that anyone who even walked nearby the house could hear the slick noises.

“You’re gonna make me cum, darling.”

“In me!” you whined, trying to push yourself further onto his dick and he laughed. “f-fill me up!”

“Such indecency, dear. No one can know how much of a slut you are; it’ll ruin your image! That means you must always come to me for this, got it?”

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makwebba · 2 months

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better than a podium l LN4

summary: lando could've won his first race in silverstone but he ended up not finishing. pairing: lando x gf!reader warnings: mentions of lando crashing and swearing. note: my first formula 1 fan fiction! not my first time writing fan fictions but it has been a couple of years since i wrote something and lately my love for writing is slowly coming back. the pictures are from pinterest and idk who the owners are so if you guys know the owner or if you are the owner, please lemme know :( also no hate on checo but it just kinda make sense cause he's in a red bull idk. dont come for me. anyways, i hope you guys enjoy it!

- lando was leading the race in silverstone, his home race. you could've not been more prouder for your boyfriend, you were certain he was gonna win the race but not until checo hit the rear tyre of lando's car which cause him to spun out and hit the barrier. your heart sank, everything went numb and it felt like the world just stopped. it was a bad crash, you waited for his voice to come through the mclaren headset that's snugged onto your ear. "lando, are you okay, mate?" randy asked through the radio. you can hear him grunt and groan in agony, breaking your heart even further. you hated seeing him like this every time you come and watch him race. what felt like ages, the medical car finally showed up to retrieve him back to the garage. lando didn't even bother making any eye contact with anybody once he got to the garage, not even you. he just went straight back to his driver's room, hearing the door slam behind you. you sighed as you rubbed your face with your hands in frustration. you walked over to where he locked himself in, you didn't even have to see him to feel the tension that was building in the air as you knocked on the door. "lan...?" your voice muffled against the wooden barrier between you and lando. lando's eyes closed shut when he heard your voice behind the door, he always loved how soft spoken you were to him. he hasn't responded back to you as he stayed where he was sat before deciding opening the door for you. there he is. what he once was; a ray of sunlight beaming through the morning sun to becoming the loud rumbling sound of thunder at night. you furrowed your brows as you quickly but gently swift his hand up against yours while you closed the door behind you. "hey..." you whispered as you brought your hand up to his face, searching for his eyes. lando was not the type to cry but boy, he was just on the verge of losing it. you brought him into a tight embrace, your face nuzzled on the crook of his neck and his arms wrapping around your back. he held you tight as you started to hear him sniffle which ached your heart painfully. you had to fight your tears back because he hated seeing you be so empathetic for him whenever he had a bad race. "i was close... so fucking close..." he mumbled, his voice getting choked up. "i know, my love. i know." you slowly pulled away from him as he quickly wiped the tears building up in his eyes with the palm of his hand before it could stream down his face. you rubbed his arms for comfort as you stood before him, you finally managed to see his eyes. oh so beautiful but it was filled with so much anger and pain. "you did so well out there. and i know your fans wanted you to win as much as you do. we all did. but sometimes things just doesn't go our way..." you said, running your fingers through the side of his head, intertwining with his curls. "could never win a race, huh?" he muttered, moving your hand away from him. "i don't know why i got into this sport in the first place. not even good at it." it broke your heart to hear him talk so low about himself. you tilted your head slightly to the side as your brows furrowed when he moved your hand away from him, stopping you from running your fingers through his hair. you didn't let him get away from it when you placed both of your hands on his face, staring directly into his eyes. "you don't have to be a race winner to be a great driver. you are enough." lando looked back into your eyes which eased him a little. he took a deep breath in when his hand found a place down on your lower back, a soft smile appeared on his face which made you smile back at him.

it was that contagious. "in everyone's eyes you're a winner. to me you're a champion." a wave of warmth cruised all over lando's body when you said those words to him. it definitely hit a nerve in his system but in a good way. it didn't take long until lando pulled you in closer to him and placed his lips against yours, gentle and passionate. "i wouldn't know what i would've done if you weren't here..." he said. landonorris and ynusername

liked by mclaren, user1, user2 and 1,233,754 others landonorris shoulda woulda coulda, right? but i’ve got something better than a podium.

the end x

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x you #lando norris smau #lando norris imagines #lando norris imagine #makwebba fan fictions

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hwaslayer · 10 days

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love you in slow motion (psh) | one.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist ♡

—summary: seonghwa will go through hell and back for you, as long as he can continue to see that smile on your face. because to him, that smile feels like a rainbow after the rain, the warmth of the sun on a winter day. because to him, you’re more than just his bestfriend—you’re love. even though everyone seems to see that except you.

—pairing: park seonghwa x f!reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriends to lovers | fluff, angst, eventual smut

—word count: 5.7k

—chapter warning: cussing/mature language, hints of a toxic relationship & ex-bf, mentions of a broken family and death, just a good ol' intro to hwa and oc + their dynamic + their family dynamics, buried feelings and overthinking!!

"Seonghwa?" Your cousin, Soyeon, calls for him on the other line. Soyeon rarely ever calls Seonghwa, but when she does, it's usually for good reason.

"Soyeon, what's up?" Seonghwa says, hand on his hip as he tries to regulate his breathing after a late night boxing session with Wooyoung and Hongjoong.

"Y/N said she would be home earlier, but she hasn't been. Yaya's worried, I'm worried. It's pouring outside." She says frantically. He sighs, stomach slightly dropping at the statement.

"Okay, where did she go last? I haven't heard from her since earlier this morning." Soyeon lets out a hefty sigh.

"Of course she wouldn't tell you. She was with Mingi." She says sarcastically, knowing Seonghwa would be upset with you for giving in, yet once again. Seonghwa had no issues giving you the 'I told you so' every single time you've been with your shitty ex-boyfriend. He always makes you cry, and it never fails. He doesn't understand why the fuck you keep running back to him. So to Seonghwa, it's not surprising that you kept this from him. Doesn't stop him from pinching the bridge of his nose before nodding, though.

"Alright, I'll find her. Don't worry."

"Thank you. Seriously. When you see her, you better tell her to stop seeing that fucking asshole. All he does is treat her like shit."

"Yeah, I know. Are you and Junseo home now?"

"Yeah, we are. We were gonna go to Yaya's but she told me to call you first before anything."

"Good, stay put. I'll take care of it and text you. She won't be far."

"God, such a headache. Thank you, Seonghwa."

"Course." He sighs as he ends the call, tossing his phone onto his duffle bag before un-doing the wrap around his hands.

"Done already?" Wooyoung asks, making Hongjoong shift his attention to the platinum blonde while they stand near the bag.

"I gotta go find Y/N."

"What? What happened?"

"Who knows, she was with Mingi."

"Dude is always bad news." Hongjoong chimes in, watching as Seonghwa throws his hoodie on and slings the duffle bag strap over his shoulder.

"Tell me about it." Seonghwa rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Text us when you're all good. Hope she's okay."

"She's fine. Just needa get her out of this rain." He says, giving them one last wave as he walks out of the studio and down the steps. Soyeon is right; the rain has picked up over the last few hours, creating huge puddles near the sidewalks and curbs due to the intensity. The stream of water makes a loud noise as it falls into the drain nearby, the loud pour of the rainfall echoing throughout the empty street. Seonghwa drags the hood over his head, doing a slight jog to his parked car on the side of the studio. Luckily for him, he knows where Song Mingi lives. Luckily for him, this town isn't that big and you couldn't have gotten far.

Luckily for him, he's right.

He finds you walking about two blocks away from Mingi's place, just getting ready to turn the corner to lord knows where. He slowly drives alongside of you, rolling down his passenger window to peak over at you. He's glad he found you when he did because you have a flimsy hoodie and leggings on, the hood completely drenched and barely doing anything to protect you from this rain.

"What are you doing, Seonghwa?" You ask, eyes glued forward as you continue to walk.

"What does it look like? Get in, you're gonna get sick." You squint your eyes at him as you continue to walk. "Y/N."

"How did you even know where to find me?"

"It's not hard to figure out when you're with Mingi." He quickly glances at the street ahead, making sure there are no oncoming cars or passengers in the way. "Plus, Soyeon called. Her and Yaya are worried because you told them you'd be home earlier."

"Of course." You mumble.

"Y/N, get inside and stop being stubborn."

"Seonghwa—" He starts to obnoxiously honk his horn on the quiet street, making your eyes widen at him. You continuously tell him to stop and to quit being so loud, however, his efforts don't stop. "Park Seonghwa, what the fuck! Fine!" You groan loudly, quickly opening the door when he stops the car. You plop yourself onto the seat, glaring at him. "Happy?!"

"Not really, but at least you're in the car." He locks the doors and turns up the heat, driving off to his 1 bedroom apartment. "You can stay at mine for tonight so you don't stress out Yaya." He keeps his eyes on the road, thoughts shifting to your grandma and how worried she might be right now.

"She won't even be that—"

"She sure as hell will, Y/N. Besides, who the hell wants to argue with you this late at night? It's almost 1am. Knowing your ass and how you never listen, even though you should." He sighs. "I'll take you home tomorrow morning before I head to work."

"Whatever." You cross your arms, still feeling cold and uncomfortable after being in the rain.

"Why were you walking in the rain?" He asks, most definitely knowing the answer already. Your nights with Mingi always end on some toxic shit, all this yelling and back and forth— arguing over empty promises and issues from the past.

And for what? The dude is never gonna change. Seonghwa isn't sure what the hell you're holding out hope for.

"I'll tell you if you spare me the 'I told you so.'" He shakes his head.

"Can't promise."

"Then you don't get shit from me."

"Why do you let him do this to you?"

"Wow, that's actually worse than an 'I told you so.'"

"I'm being serious." He glances at you with a very mixed expression, mainly serious and worrisome tones.

"I don't know, okay. I wish I could tell you." It's silent for a minute, the only sounds filling the car are the rain pounding against the windshield and the heat on high.

The thing about Seonghwa being your bestfriend of 16 years is the fact that you can always rely on him to be there no matter what. He's always so, so good to you; always so caring, so supportive and so protective. You've never had to ask Seonghwa for anything because he always gives, and is always ready to give. Just like tonight, when he shouldn't be here but he is.

He had been yours, just as you had been his since the beginning.

Sometimes, it's easy to believe you don't deserve someone like Seonghwa by your side.

You met this adorably shy, sweet kid when he was introduced to your class as a new transfer in the 3rd grade, most kids in your class politely saying hello but going about their own business afterwards. You, though, had stuck around to show Seonghwa his new school and to eat with him. Since then, your relationship had flourished. His dad had become bestfriends with your own dad, the two of you always going on family trips together, hanging out at each other's homes, going to the same schools onward— Seonghwa was always there, you were always there. He had seen you through your very best, seen you through your very worst. Was there during your highs, was there during your lows. Knows exactly how to push you right to the very edge, but also knows how to make up for his dumb mistakes. Knows exactly how to handle you, attitude, temper and all, knows exactly what makes you happy, what makes you sad.

He knows you like the back of his hand.

Probably better than you know yourself.

Seonghwa became the golden child though, you know? He had loving parents who supported him through everything. He was a superb student [a teacher's pet, if you may], an athlete, a prodigy; always winning numerous awards and medals throughout his academic and athletic career. He had countless talents and a positive energy that people admired him for, though shy and timid in the beginning. He got along well with people and was the ultimate charmer. Attractive, had his way with the ladies— albeit, he can be an idiot when he thinks with his dick from time to time and not his brain. But nonetheless, Seonghwa is Seonghwa. He would never intentionally hurt a soul, would never intentionally give people what they didn't deserve. To be clear though, Seonghwa has his fair share of mistakes and fuck-ups, but in the end, he would always apologize when in the wrong and make up for his actions. While you, on the other hand, were his polar opposite and struggled to find your place in this crazy, crazy world.

You had never met your biological mother, and your dad had spent majority of your earlier years working graveyard to keep food on the table, to keep sending you to a good school. You spent most of your childhood growing up at Yaya's house, where your dad's sister and her family lived for awhile. That's how your older cousin Soyeon became the sister you've never had, somebody else you could rely on, fight with and experience the ups and downs with. Things were good, and they were good for awhile until you lost your dad to a rare and sudden illness.

Then, things went downhill for you.

You continued to stay at Yaya's, only having her, Soyeon and her family, Seonghwa and his family by your side. You began to push people away, you got into trouble and made dumb mistakes that hurt your loved ones more times than you'd like to admit. You had your moments where you acted solely on feelings instead of being rational. You had no filter, not being afraid of telling people if they were wrong even if it meant hurting their feelings to no end. You no longer got along well with most people, finding it hard to vibe well with majority of the crowd. No longer caring about what was in the know, what was trending; was incredibly selective about who you gave your time and effort to in fear of losing more loved ones dear to your heart.

Without Seonghwa at your side, you're not sure where you'd be. Because truly, if it wasn't for him, you don't think you would have continued to try. He was the only thing that remained constant in your life, one of the only people who continued to show you genuine care and love despite your flaws and all.

"Have you eaten?" He suddenly speaks and changes the topic, not wanting to upset you any more than you already are.

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat something." You don't respond. "Mom made some kimbap today, I can set some aside for you."

"Thanks." You say softly, watching as the car finally drives into the familiar apartment complex. Seonghwa turns the wheel with one hand, pulling into his assigned parking spot before shutting off the car. He lets out a sigh before looking over at you, noticing you're still in your sad, sulky position in the passenger seat.

"Ready? Or should we just sleep in here tonight?" You slowly turn and glare at him, mocking him before answering dramatically— knowing it's the most childish thing you can do right now, especially after Seonghwa took the time to find you and pick you up in this rain.

"Why don't you just leave me here?"

"Good with me. At least I don't have to lend you any more of my clothes and have you sleeping on my couch. Matter of fact, more kimbap for me." He says, stepping out of the car, keys rattling in his pocket as he turns to shut his car door. He continues to walk without worry because he knows the shit you pull.

You'll end up following him.

He doesn't even have to turn over his shoulder to make sure you do. He hears the car door slam after a few minutes, and he smirks a bit to himself before locking the car using the key fob in his pocket.

"You really have to slam my car door like that?" He asks, slightly looking over his shoulder before climbing up the steps.

"Sorry." You mumble, pathetically following your bestfriend with your arms crossed tightly against your chest. He unlocks his door and waits for you to make it up the steps, letting you step in and out of your shoes first before following you inside. He tosses his keys onto the entryway table before walking into the kitchen and pulling out his phone to text Soyeon that you were safe with him for the night.

"You can go shower first. Just take whatever you want from my closet." He says, eyes focused on the bag of kimbap his mom had dropped off earlier in the day. You simply nod and head straight to his closet, grabbing some pajama pants and a longsleeve. You toss your clothes into the bathroom sink, mentally making a note to ask Seonghwa if you can throw in a load of his laundry with your clothes. The last thing you wanna do is make a mess in Seonghwa's super clean apartment, let alone drag home some wet clothes from the night prior.

The shower you take is short, but relaxing. You let the hot water beat down on you, thoroughly scrubbing and scratching every inch of your body, your scalp. When you finish, you lather some lotion and pad back out to his living room. Seonghwa glances up, watching as you come towards him with his long pajama pants and a long sleeve with sleeves that falls past your hands. He thinks you're the cutest thing he has ever seen [especially in his clothes], but he subtly bites onto his bottom lip to suppress the smile forming at his lips.

"Can I do some of your laundry so I can wash my clothes? They're just sitting in your bathroom sink." He shrugs.

"Don't worry about it, I'll toss it in there before I hop into the shower." He slides a small plate on the counter of his kitchen island bar area, before handing you a hot cup of green tea. "Eat at least one." You nod, watching as he washes his hands and begins to make his way to the bathroom. You're hungrier than you thought, popping in all the pieces of kimbap Seonghwa prepared for you before downing the green tea. In the end, you feel full, satisfied.

Content.

Warm.

After a good thirty minutes, Seonghwa is out of the shower and tossing the load into the dryer. He's ruffling his semi-dry hair as he brings out a thick blanket for you, glancing at the random Cars movie playing on the tv.

"Here." He says. "You finished eating?"

"Mhm."

"Okay. I'm gonna go to bed then." He turns to head into his room.

"Hwa, can't you just sleep out here with me?" You point at the free part of his L-shaped sectional couch.

"Why, when I have a perfectly comfortable bed to sleep on in here?" He points to his room, but you pout.

"But, you also have an amazing couch that you can share with your bestfriend."

"You snore and you move around too much."

"I do not, and you'd be on that side of the couch anyway!" You furrow your brows. "You snore, too!"

"Not as loud as you, sounding like you belong in that Cars movie." He glances at the tv screen while making the dumb joke, and you groan.

"Okay, fine. Whatever." You succumb to defeat and wave the white flag. "I just don't necessarily wanna be alone."

"You're not, I'm right here."

"Pichu." Ah, there it is. That stupid nickname he's painfully grown to adore after you've told him time and time again that he looks just like the pokemon. He sighs, realizing you probably won't let this up. On top of that, he knows he can't say no to you regarding most things. So, he drags himself into his room and rips off his duvet comforter from the bed to bring with him into the living room. He sets himself up on one section of the couch, while you take up the other— heads meeting at the corner.

"The moment you rip out a big snore, I'm leaving you out here." He warns and you snort.

"You're a dick. I don't even snore like that."

"And how would you know, sleeping beauty?" He looks at you, heart content with the way you happily look at him from your side of the couch. You have no rebuttal though, so he shuts off the tv and rests his hand on the back of his head while closing his eyes. "Thought so. Get some sleep, it's getting late." He hears you rustling underneath your own blankets, head gently knocking onto the side of his that makes him suck his teeth. "Y/N." He groans with a whiney tone. "This is what I mean."

"Sorry, sorry." You pout, rubbing the side of his head. "I'm good now." You mumble underneath the blankets as you settle, satisfied with your warm and bundled position. You can hear Seonghwa's soft breathing behind you, signaling that he'll probably fall asleep soon [and quick, too]. "Hwa?" You softly call for him one last time.

"Hm?" He hums.

"Thank you." You pause. "For everything."

"You know I care about you more than anything, right?" He says, close to a whisper. "You deserve way better."

"Yeah." Is all you respond with before closing your eyes, hoping to finally be at peace for the remainder of the night. "Love you, pichu." You say sleepily.

"Love you, too." He feels the statement tug at his heart strings because Seonghwa does love you, he has loved you for years. Been in love with you for years. But you were always the most important, this dynamic and relationship was the most important, that he's learned to suppress and live with it— even though at times, he feels like he gives it away pretty easily, or lets his emotions get to the best of him.

Everyone can tell.

Everyone knows.

Everyone but you.

Surprisingly, you do fall asleep before Seonghwa. He can't help but peek from his peripherals, noticing your steady breathing under the covers. Your head is barely poking out from the covers, making Seonghwa smile to himself. He settles a little closer to you, top of your head tucked near the crook of his neck as he slightly turns towards your side and finally shuts his eyes to get some sleep.

When you wake up the following morning, it's because Seonghwa's cussing to himself as he runs to grab his ringing phone on the island counter. His eyes quickly dart to you as he snatches the phone and answers the call, noticing you're starting to wake up.

"Sorry, Y/N." He apologizes and you let out a small squeak as you stretch and shake your head.

"It's okay, Hwa. Should probably get up anyway." You rub at your eyes, watching as he paces back into his room to finish getting ready for work. He's apparently talking to Wooyoung, agreeing to pick the guy up after bringing you home since they work at the same place— two athletic trainers for the men's sports teams at one of the universities in town, Wooyoung and Seonghwa mainly taking care of the football and basketball teams, popping into other sports if the help is urgently needed. They've both worked really hard to earn their current positions, being two of the leads who focus on training, treatment and rehabilitating their athletes at homebase, and only participating in a few quick trips for away games if asked.

As you stand and start to fold the blanket, you catch sight of how tired Seonghwa looks and you feel terrible. You know Seonghwa loves to test his limits, working out late after his shifts and barely getting 8 hours of sleep right before a busy day of tending to athletes. Despite your nagging and lecturing him on getting more rest, Hwa has gotten used to doing things this way.

However, part of you still feels guilty that he doesn't look as bright and alert this morning because of you. Because you needed more saving, because you chose to be stubborn and listen to Mingi even though he hasn't given you a reason to trust him since you've broken up.

"I didn't mean to wake you so early."

"I mean, you do have to leave soon, don't you?" You check the clock, peeping the current time as 8:27am. "Isn't this really late for you, actually?" Especially during the season, Seonghwa is always at work by 6AM, leaving super late in the afternoon. Off-season is a little easier for him, being that practice schedules are spread out due to sharing space with other sports/teams.

"Not for today. The team is lifting right now, I need to work on some rehab reports first before training and practice later today." You nod. "Are you good to leave soon then?"

"Of course."

"Okay, let me just grab a few things so we can head out. I need to pick up Wooyoung's lazy ass."

"He's not in to help with lifting?"

"Not anymore. Dude overslept." You snort.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Director Shin loves him. She would never get him in trouble or scold him."

"She loves you, too." You say.

"Not as much as Wooyoung. She'll bite my head off first before she ever thinks about coming for him." He throws in some food into his duffle bag solely for work. The duffle bag is huge, having the university's name plastered on the side in big, bold letters— followed by his name etched onto the corner with his athletic training certification. "By the way." He points at your neatly folded, washed clothes on the coffee table. "Don't forget your clothes."

"Thanks."

"Are you just gonna go home like that?" He eyes his clothes on your figure.

"Yeah, why not?" He shrugs.

"Alright then. Let's go." He pats himself down to double check that he has everything on him before heading out of the door. You lazily follow behind after slipping into your sneakers, having to roll up Seonghwa's pajama pants so that they don't reach the floor and get dirty. You plop into the passenger's seat with your clothes on your lap, rubbing at your eyes once situated. "You didn't have to get up so early. I technically don't need to be there until 10."

"It's fine, Hwa."

"Did you tell Yaya we were on the way?"

"No, I'll just surprise her when I get there." You smile and he shakes his head.

"You need to stop worrying your grandma and your cousin."

"I'm not even doing anything!"

"You're not? Then, what was last night?" He glances at you then lets out a small scoff. "Exactly. And please stop running back to Mingi. That dude isn't gonna change, and you know that. All he does is make you upset and I can't stand it. You two aren't good for each other."

"I hear you." You say lowly, head leaning against the passenger window.

"I'm sorry." He lets out a breath, genuinely just worried about you and your wellbeing. "I don't mean to do this so early, but I just get worried about you." He ruffles your hair a bit, causing a small smile to creep up on the corners of your lips.

"It's okay. I need to hear it." He chuckles.

"Yeah, you do. You're such a fucking headache." He jokes. "But you're important to me, and all I want is for you to be happy." He pinches your cheeks, making you scrunch your nose.

"Thanks Hwa." He looks at you while posted at a stop light, admiring the way you scrunch your nose and let out a little giggle. That's how he likes to see you. Not upset, sad, or crying. Especially over Song Mingi.

The drive to your house isn't too far, or at least, it never feels too far since you and Seonghwa always engage in conversations about various things while in the car. He pulls into Yaya's driveway, parking right next to Soyeon's car. You occupy the tiny detached in-law suite in the corner of the backyard, so Seonghwa isn't surprised when you try to scurry to the backyard to avoid Yaya and Soyeon.

"She's here!" He yells and points at you.

"You're a pain in the fucking ass, Park." You glare at him while you simultaneously hear Yaya telling you to come into the house and to not even think about running into the backyard.

"Oh, Yaya! Miss damsel in distress just walked in."

"Y/N. You should've called or texted. We were worried when we didn't hear from you." Yaya looks at you disappointingly while whipping up some breakfast.

"Sorry." You mumble as Seonghwa brushes past you to kiss ass to Yaya.

"Always needing her bestfriend to come and save the day." Soyeon says sarcastically before crossing his arms. "Seriously, what the hell would you do without Hwa? And why the hell didn't you make it home in time or text to let us know you'd be late?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Hi to you too." You squint at her. "He was supposed to bring me home but we got into another stupid fight, that's all." You roll your eyes before glancing at the empty luggages she has next to her.

"So, he just let you walk in the rain? What a fucking dick."

"Language." Yaya warns, glaring at the two of you from the kitchen next to Seonghwa, who is quickly peeling a banana he took from the fruit basket.

"Where are you going?" You nod at the luggages.

"Me and Junseo are heading to Japan in a few days." She smiles. "We're way overdue for our anniversary vacation. Meaning, you're gonna have to man the restaurant." You groan. "And watch Charli? Pretty please." She pleads in a sweet tone, knowing you'll always do anything for their 3 year old daughter.

"Seriously?!"

"Charli loves staying with you and Yaya! And all you have to do for the restaurant is make sure everything runs smoothly and be the cute waitress that you already are! It's nothing you haven't done! Plus, Yoongi and Jini will be there, and Charli will be in preschool for the most part." At this point, you whine [moreso about maintaining the restaurant] while Soyeon continues to check the list on her phone.

"Speaking of the restaurant, are you free tonight?" Seonghwa chimes in, looking at his phone.

"I don't know, depends on my boss here." You glare at Soyeon before looking back at Seonghwa. "Why?"

"San is back home so we're going out to the bar."

"Excuse me?!" You yell. "What the fuck!"

"Hey!" Yaya glares at you again. "Say that word one more time in my house."

"Okay, I'm sorry!" You point at Seonghwa. "But, you! Why didn't you tell me about Sannie coming back?!"

"How could I? You were too busy sulking over Mingi." He says, furrowing his brows with a cheek full of banana. Soyeon snorts and shakes her head, making you glare at the both of them.

"Ha-ha very funny. You didn't think you could tell me any other day?"

"Well, he wasn't even supposed to be coming back until next week. But he just texted us saying he decided to come back early and that he's already settled at the condo his uncle owns."

"Why aren't I getting these texts?" Seonghwa smirks and flicks your chin with his finger.

"Because boys need to talk about boy things."

"Oh whatever, it's not like any of you are getting any—"

"Seonghwa, please. Tell that girl to stop talking like that." Yaya pleads for him to tell you to keep it quiet. He chuckles a bit before looking at you pointedly, tapping the tip of your nose.

"Stop that." He smiles down at you. "And who said we weren't?"

"Please, all you guys do is yell while playing FIFA and Mario Party." You sigh. "Anyway, I'm going back to sleep for a bit. I'll come in for an earlier shift at the restaurant so that I can see Sannie." You direct the statement at Soyeon and all she does is nod.

"Pick you up afterwards then?"

"Ah, it's okay. Usual bar, right?" He nods. "I'll just bus over." You tap his chest. "Thanks pichu, see you later. Have fun at work!" At this point, Yaya is walking towards Soyeon and Seonghwa, hands placed on her hips as she observes you skipping to your in-law suite.

"Hwa." Yaya tugs on his arm before he can help Soyeon pack the large luggages in her trunk and head out to pick up Wooyoung.

"Hm?"

"It should just be you two." She pouts, making Seonghwa laugh. Time and time again, Yaya has always pushed the 'you and Seonghwa' agenda, stating that you two were meant to be together. And Seonghwa doesn't mind, he always laughs about it. He kinda likes that Yaya [everyone, really] thinks so, and if things were easy, he'd make it happen without question. But things aren't— because there's always that voice in the back of his head that tells him he needs to leave things as they are or else everything will be ruined.

He doesn't want that.

He would rather bury his feelings than lose you.

There's no way you'd go that route with him. You've made it clear to everyone that Seonghwa was your bestfriend and your bestfriend only. That people need to quit shoving the idea down your throat because you could never; he'd be lying if he said it didn't hurt to hear it.

"Yaya, you already know the answer to that." He says anyway and she pouts even more, leaning her head against his firm bicep.

"But you're the only one who knows how to handle her. She's such a handful but you've always stayed by her side."

"Mm, I don't think I necessarily had a choice." Yaya chuckles and gently swats his arm playfully.

"You two should just kiss and get married."

"Kiss and get married? Wow. What a plan." Soyeon says sarcastically, making Seonghwa laugh.

"No can do with that one." He places a small kiss on the top of her head before helping Soyeon with the last large luggage. "I gotta pick up Wooyoung and head to work. Text or call me if you need me." Seonghwa says.

"Make sure my baby cousin doesn't do anything reckless tonight when she's out with you guys? Like, I don't know, run to Mingi while drunk?" Seonghwa shakes his head at Soyeon's response.

"Won't let her out of my sight." He waves one last goodbye before settling into his car and driving off.

It's 20 minutes to Wooyoung's apartment, and another 15 to the university from there. When he arrives, Wooyoung tosses his own duffle bag in the back and plops into the passenger's seat before slouching into it.

"Did you find babygirl?" Wooyoung asks, making Seonghwa furrow his brows at him.

"Yes I did, and stop calling her that."

"Why, are you jealous? You can't gatekeep Y/N to yourself. I'm close to her, too." Wooyoung smirks.

"Shut up before I make you walk to work." Seonghwa glares at him. "It's not even that, it's just weird."

"Why is it weird?"

"Because it is."

"Because you love her?"

"Get the hell out—"

"I'm sorry! I'm kidding!" Wooyoung says in a high-pitched tone before laughing. "But, really, it's not weird."

"Yes, it is."

"She loves it and she's used to it. Therefore, I'll keep using it. Resting my case, your honor." Wooyoung snorts. "What happened last night anyway?"

"I don't know, she got into a fight with Mingi and walked out."

"He didn't come after her? It was pouring."

"Nope. She was gonna walk to.. I don't know, actually. She was just walking in the rain."

"That's not okay." Wooyoung sucks his teeth and does a slight head tilt. "They're toxic as hell to each other." Seonghwa shrugs.

"I know. I tried to tell her but at a certain point, that's all I can do. It gets really hard to control someone's behavior and police their actions."

"Can I ask you something?" Wooyoung looks at him with a small smile. "I'm genuinely curious."

"What?"

"Why haven't you made your move on Y/N? Your feelings for her have always been obvious."

"Have they? Seems like she's the only one who hasn't seen it." Wooyoung shrugs.

"Yeah. I mean, you drop everything— and I mean everything— for her without question. And you get all affectionate with her!" His tone raises a bit. "You hate initiating affection! If that ain't love.." Wooyoung tilts his head again and squints at Seonghwa.

"She's my bestfriend. All of that happens naturally."

"It's not just that, and you know it. I know people really do put their bestfriends on a pedestal, but you put babygirl before anyone and anything. Even yourself." Seonghwa slightly winces at the Wooyoung's nickname before shaking his head.

"Not true."

"Very true. Look, dude. It's not bad, but I do hope you leave some space for yourself. I know she would never intentionally hurt you, but it still doesn't eliminate the possibility of getting hurt at some point. I don't want that to happen, especially if you've poured everything in her over these years." Seonghwa lets out a breath and pauses for a moment because for once, Wooyoung makes sense. And he's right. He has poured everything in you, continues to pour everything in you very willingly— sometimes, he doesn't even realize he's doing it. Sometimes, he doesn't even realize he's putting you before everything, that he's dropping everything for you.

Hell, it's even to the point where he can't even date properly and sleeps around from time to time to let out steam. It's because he just feels this attachment to you; an attachment past being your bestfriend— like some thread of hope he holds onto, thinking that some day, you'll see him in that light.

Someone who could genuinely, deeply and strongly love you, care for you, support you, with no boundaries.

"I know."

"Why don't you just tell her? You know, be honest." Wooyoung shrugs.

"I don't wanna lose her, and I'm afraid I will if I do. I'm afraid I'll fuck everything up between us and change the dynamic just because I wanted to be selfish."

"I don't think you'd lose her. I'm sure she wouldn't let that change anything between the two of you, either. And why don't you think she'd go for it?"

"I just don't think she would."

"Maybe she's thinking the same way as you." Wooyoung sees the university in sight and starts to loosen himself up, getting ready to head out of the door as soon as Seonghwa pulls into a spot. "I think you should go for it, Hwa. You can't live like this forever. You love her, she should know. And if things don't work out, I doubt she'll let that change things between you two. You two understand each other well, and you both make sense together."

"Mm, yeah. Thanks." Seonghwa gives him a pursed smile before Wooyoung slips off his seatbelt and smiles.

"Guess that means I can tag along again tomorrow?" Seonghwa rolls his eyes and steps out of the car before slamming his door.

"I'll think about it, lazy ass."

♡ taglist: @hwasbabygirl @fairyofhueningkai @chngbnwf @tinyteezer @everyonewooeverywhere @pearbunny @mxnsxngie @starhwahwa @woosmaid @cheolliehugs @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab

#seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa series #park seonghwa series #park seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa #ateez #park seonghwa #seonghwa x reader #park seongwa x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez scenarios #ateez series #seonghwa smut #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #park seonghwa smut #park seonghwa fluff #park seonghwa angst #hwaslayer: love you in slow motion

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sturniolos-blog · 3 months

Text

Panic Attack - Matt Sturniolo x Y/n oneshot

warnings - kissing, fluff, panic attack

requested by anon ‼️

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6:37pm

I was laying down in my house, watching the triplets new video before my phone rang, it was nick.

“Hey nick! What’s up?” I said cheery into the phone.

“Y/n, you need to come here now, Matt’s been in a bad mood all day and he keeps telling us to fuck off.” Nick says, i sit up already starting to get ready.

“Where is he right now, nick?” I asked.

“In his room, he’s being an ass and you better get over here before i smack the sense back into him.” Nick scoffs.

I let out a laugh, “I’m on my way.” I then hang up the phone.

———————————

6:43pm

I walked into their house after Nick called me.

I start to hear some yelling,

“Well why don’t you fucking leave me alone!?” I hear come from Matt.

“You’re being a complete asshole!” I start to walk towards the voices, it sounds like chris.

“Yeah, Matt the fucks your problem dude?” I hear Nick chime in.

“You guys all need to fuck off-”

“Matt?” I said, they were all in the living room, yelling at each other.

Matt sighs and runs his hand through his hair, “What are you doing here?” He says, his voice lower now.

Nick clears his throat, “I called her.” He says, looking down.

Chris’s face is red with anger. “Yeah, you need her to fucking relax.” He says.

Matt shoved Chris harshly.

“Matt!” I yelled, going in between them as Chris shoved Matt back.

“Stop! The fuck is wrong with you guys!?” I scolded, Matt scoffing and running to his room.

“Seriously?” I sighed to chris.

“Sorry..” He whispered.

“I got him.” Nick adds in, sitting down on the couch with chris now.

I nodded and walked to Matt’s room, walking in without knocking.

“Get the fuck out.” Matt snaps, he was sitting on his bed his face in his hand.

I shut the door, “Okay you can sit here and pout but you are not going to disrespect me and treat me how you just treated your family. Sorry but that’s not happening.” I said, sitting down on the bed.

Matt stays silent.

“Talk to me, baby..” I sighed, putting my hand on his back.

He shooks his head and took his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Okay, we can sit in silence.” I made myself comfortable against his head bored, my legs straight out. “Or…you can come here and give me a hug.” I said, arms out for him.

Matts head turned and looked at me before turning back and looking at his hands, fiddling with them.

“I know you wanna..” I urged, my hand tugging on his shoulder.

He let out one of his anxiety breaths and climbed on top of me, his head going on my chest and his body in between my legs, one of my hands went through his hair while the other rubbed his back.

“Oh baby..” I whisper.

“Everything’s been so hard and overwhelming lately, i feel like i’m not enough and that i should be doing more like in videos because everyone flames me for not talkin’ so much but i just have no motivation and i can’t-” Matt’s breaths pick up.

“You can’t what, baby?” I ask him as he sits up, sitting next to me, resting his back against the headboard.

He puts his hand on his chest, his breathing a lot quicker.

“Matt?” I ask him, my hand going to his cheek.

“I can’t- i can’t-” He struggles, “I can’t breathe.” He breathes out, huffing and puffing. Hot tears now streaming down his face.

“Why can’t i breathe? It hurts, everything’s blurry.” He began to list out,

“You’re stressing yourself out, baby. Stop, okay.” I began to freak out myself, my hand rubbing his back.

“Uh- so today before nick called me, i was watching your new video that came out yesterday. You looked um- so so good.” I laughed, Matt’s breaths weren’t slowing down but he looked at me.

“You’re right, you don’t talk a lot but you bring a lot to the table when you do, and it’s okay you sit there with your pretty face, looking incredibly fine.” I tease, Matt lets out a breathy laugh.

“But you’re more than enough Matt, and you need to stop bottling that all up and taking it out on other people, especially the ones you love because Chris didn’t mean anything he said, he loves you so much and he wants the best for you, but his anger is fast like yours. As well as nicks. So whatever happened in the argument can just be labeled as an ‘in the moment’ thing.” I said softly.

Matt nodded, “Thank you.” He sniffled, “Sorry for being a big baby.” He apologized.

“Don’t apologize, now come here pretty boy, i missed you.” I put my arms out for him, he laughs and gives me a big hug, kissing all over my face as i laugh.

“Say that again.” He said into my neck.

“What?” I laughed.

“Say that again.” He repeated, his soft kisses going to my collarbone.

“say what? pretty boy?” I teased.

“God, that’s hot.” He groaned against me.

“Yeah, you like it pretty boy?” I laughed as he nodded and kissed my lips.

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that was it! hope the anon who requested liked it! enjoyyy ! and mixed signals part two coming whennn ? (i actually have no clue i haven’t started it)

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #nicolas sturniolo #spotify #sturniolo

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endthedream · 7 months

Text

[7:03 pm]

jaemin x reader (1.1k words)

masterlist

There is something so vulnerable about admitting you were wrong, something so absurdly hurtful about digging into your faults.

Jaemin knew he messed up. The moment he raised his voice and said words he didn’t mean, he knew he messed up. But the stress from the past weeks and the the exhaustion drilling itself into his bones, was enough to make him snap. He snapped at the one person that always comforted him, the one person that never means any harm to him.

And he knows you aren’t mad at him, god, you’re too good to him to be mad. He is mad at himself for being such an idiot. The only thing he always wanted whenever he was stressed at work, whenever he had to stay behind late, was you. And now he messed up.

He can still hear the whole conversation ringing in his mind, spinning over and over and over again. It’s like his own brain is torturing him for the mistake he made.

“God, just leave me alone.”, he said, head is his hands. “Stop being so annoying. Stop bothering me.” He could almost hear your heart breaking in your chest as the words left his mouth. But he didn’t yet have a clear mind to tell you that nothing he said was true.

“Okay, Jaemin.” Despite the hurt you were feeling, your voice was still gentle and so incredibly soft. “I’m going to give you some time alone. I really think you need it. And if you feel ready to talk, or you just need someone, call me, okay?”

That was two hours ago. Two hours of Jaemin not being able to stop the tears that are streaming down his face. Two hours since he couldn’t stop wallowing in self pity. Two hours since he wanted nothing more than to be in your arms.

He watched you as you put on your coat and shoes. He watched as you grabbed your purse. He watched as you showed him one last smile. And he watched as you walked out the door.

Jaemin has to make it up to you again. He has to correct his own mistake. And he will do anything that it takes for you to forgive him. Even if it means he has to beg for your forgiveness on his knees, he will do it. So without thinking any further, Jaemin grabs his jacket and sprints out of his apartment into the pouring rain.

You sit in front of the TV, watching a random show you found on Netflix, when you hear the knock on your door. Thinking it was just the delivery guy, bringing you your pizza, you stand up to open the door. But what you don’t expect is seeing Jaemin in front of you, soaked from head to toe from the rain outside and soggy flowers in his hand. You can’t tell if there are tears streaming down his face or if it’s the rest of the rain water dripping from his hair, but the blood shot eyes answer your question.

“Jaemin?” His name comes out in a question as you take his arm and pull him inside. “What are you doing here? You’re going to get sick.”

“I needed to see you.”, he says, voice strained from all the crying and his shoulders shivering from either the coldness or the sadness in his heart. “I had to make it up to you. I wasn’t being fair. You always treat me so nice. You take care of me, listen to me, hold me whenever I need it and I go and tell you to leave me alone when I actually needed you the most.”

“Baby.”, you coo, gently talking the flowers from his hands and pulling him with you into the bathroom. “There is nothing you have to make up to me. I know how stressed you’ve been and I should have given you some time before overwhelming you with all my questions. It’s okay, really.”

“No it’s not.” More tears stream down his face as he lets you take off his soaked clothes. “It’s not okay at all. I should have never raised my voice at you. I should have just told you that I needed a moment to myself, not driven you away by my bad mood. I am so sorry, baby. Please forgive me.”

“There is nothing to forgive, Jaemin.”, you tell him as you walk to your bathtub, filling it with warm water. “Baby, stuff like this happens. People get overwhelmed and say things they don’t mean. I know you didn’t mean what you said. I know, because you are the kindest person on this planet. You wouldn’t even hurt a fly. But the stress got to you, and it’s okay. I love you, my sweet boy. Nothing will change that.”

As you see the tub filled with warm water and bubbles that you added in, you lead him into it, making sure he is nice and comfortable. Almost immediately Jaemin stops shivering, his muscles relax and his mind stops spiralling. You put some shampoo in your hands, softly massaging it into his hair, earring a small grunt of satisfaction from the boy in the bathtub.

The tears soon stop as well and a comfortable silence fills the room. Jaemin opens his eyes a few minutes later, looking up at you with so much adoration. “I love you. So much.”

“I know.”, you tell him, leaning down to give him a gentle kiss on his lips. “I know because you show me your love every single day.” And for the first time since today Jaemin smiles, a bright and genuine smile.

“There it is.” You clap your hands excitedly over the beautiful scenario right in front of you. “There is my sweet boy. I missed your smile.”

“It’s because of you.”, he tells you, one hand reaching out to link his fingers with yours. “All my smiles are only for you, and will always only be for you. You make me happy, Y/N. You give me life. I don’t know how I will ever be able to repay you for everything you do for me.”

“You won’t ever have to repay me, Jaemin. I do those things because I love you.” There’s a short silence, a few seconds where neither of you say a word. “But maybe you can just cuddle me through the whole evening and give me as many kisses as I want, and we can call it even.”

A bright grin appears on the boys lips, his slight chuckle filling the room and all he can do is shake his head at your words. “You don’t have to tell me twice, baby.”

authors note: I hope you liked this one :) I hastily wrote it at work when I had some time, and I hope it makes up for the lack of posts in the past few weeks

#na jaemin #nct na jaemin #na jaemin imagines #na jaemin x reader #na jaemin x yn #na jaemin fluff #jaemin fluff #na jaemin imagine #jaemin x reader #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream x reader #nct dream x y/n

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inciting-chaos-series · 1 year

Note

j can you please make a corpse x reader where they are both publicly dating and as all internet couples do, get a fair amount of hate. but one day a specific comment gets under the readers skin so they distance themselves from corpse (lots of angst but with a good ending ?)

I'm sorry this took forever, I couldn't get my meds and went a lil crazy agh, also idk if this is any good tbh I feel bad at writing lately. Hopefully you like it though oof.

-J The Ghost

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Request: Hate Mail

You woke up from your nap to the sounds of several voices coming from the other room. He must be streaming… You thought groggily as you stretched and snuggled back into the covers enveloped in the scent of his cologne. You pulled out your phone and checked the time, almost four… Jesus, he really had made good on his word, you didn’t even realize you could be that exhausted. As you scrolled through your socials you saw the notifications of most of his friends live streams. Sussy Sundays, of course, how did you forget? He really had taken it out of you earlier.

You were grateful to have weekends off, allowing you to see him more than just any days you managed to get off work at a decent time, but you hated Sundays. You both took turns staying over at each other's houses and coming up with fun things to do together, but since he’d agreed to be a part of the Sussy Sundays, you had to find a way to entertain yourself. When he would stay at your house, it was easy to find things to do- dishes, laundry, and tidying up always needed done- but at his place, he mostly ordered takeout, and didn't really have enough stuff to ever accumulate messes, much less any laundry, so you were left to figure something else out.

A few times he’d asked you to join in on games, or hangout and watch him, but if the viewers got wind that you were with him- everyone's chat would latch on and start blowing up about it. You hated the fact that you’d turn viewers' attention away from the streamers they were watching, which led to you feeling guilty for making even the slightest sounds despite both him and his ever supportive friends trying to actively involve you.

Ever since the two of you had gone public, the internet had gone wild. In the beginning fans were pretty supportive and kind, but once Corpse started to post about you more and more, they quickly turned on you. It felt like the majority now was vehemently against the idea of your relationship. You knew that once it was public, you would get a lot of hate, but some of the comments were so hyper specific and vile- you couldn't help but be hurt. You always did your best to not read through them, or let him see when ones you did see affect you. You knew it was mostly young fans that were crushing on him and envious of you, but it all still seemed to leave you feeling drained, and anxious, an empty feeling of doom settling in with each critique. What if he saw merit in some of them? Sure most were shallow insults, but some seemed so spot on to you.

Who even are they? They're nobody, why is he with them??

He probably felt bad- he’s just too nice…

He can do soo much better…

You weren't usually an insecure person, but it was hard to stay positive when you did kind of agree. You worked a normal job, lived an average life, and you weren't really into the world of streaming, even as a viewer. It was- at the least- confusing to understand why he would be with you over someone with a similar lifestyle, or had more in common with him.

Tik Tok was your savior while he finished up with his friends. The algorithm only showed you the mind-numbing content you wanted to see, nothing about him or streaming at all. It was around 7:30 and you were halfway through a dinner recipe video when he finally entered his room again.

“Have a good nap?” He smirked tiredly as he plopped down on the bed beside you.

“So good…” You chuckled, saving the video before tossing your phone aside to snuggle up to him “How was the stream?”

“It was fun. Everyone said to tell you hi…” He wrapped his arm around you and absently traced his fingers along your arm.

“Tell them I say hi too.” You smiled as you buried your face into his hoodie. “Your friends are so nice…”

“Mhm… they really like you.” He chuckled. “Are you hungry yet? I'm starving…” You nodded and paused, still groggy from lying in bed.

“Can we get pasta? I’m craving it so bad…” Your voice perked up at the thought of the recipe video.

“Of course,” he laughed at your enthused voice, “you better start getting ready though…”

“Were going out?” You looked up at him in confusion, it was rare he ever wanted to go out, especially so spontaneously.

“Yeah why not? I mean… as long as you’re up for it?”

“Y-Yeah, just surprised that you are…” You beamed up at him before mustering the energy to get up and get ready. You pulled your hair aside and headed to the bathroom to wash your face, peeking slightly in the mirror's reflection and catching glimpses of him changing from the bedroom. The cheeky blush across your face turned quickly to a hot embarrassment as you watched the black button-down settle across his lean shoulders. Your mind started flashing through images of all the comments deeming you unworthy of him. You turned your face away from the mirror and avoided eye-contact with yourself- knowing it would only cement those thoughts and sour your mood even more.

You quickly brushed your teeth and headed back to the room, only to stare at the clothes you had brought in disappointment. Too loose you’ll look like a soggy cardboard box, too tight you’ll look like a shrink wrapped ham, too-

“You okay?” He chuckled from behind you as he fixed his shirt.

“Yeah… I’m fine.” You huffed out, grabbing at a random article of clothing and feeling yourself physically recoil at the thought of wearing it.

“You don’t look fine- if you don’t wanna go out we can stay in…” He shrugged and examined your clothes with you. “You still have some other things in my closet you know… you don’t have to keep living out of your carry on bag. You can keep things here.” He laughed softly.

“I- I know. I just… I don’t know- it's one of those days- you know?” You mustered up a small laugh. “Nothing feels right.” You shrugged it off.

“I get it… let's just stay in.” He sat beside your clothes on the bed, offering a soft smile as he took your hands and pulled you closer .

“No, I want to go out…” You furrowed your brow a bit, irritated that you were letting it all affect you so much. “I’ll hurry up.” You pulled another few items of clothing out and headed back to the bathroom, not wanting to even think about him watching you change right now.

You came back out after continuing to struggle through every aspect of getting ready while your mind attacked you. He sat up from scrolling his socials on the bed and quickly tucked his phone back into his pocket- a detail you wish your brain would find insignificant.

“Ready?” He smiled and stood as you nodded. He grabbed his jacket and threw it on as you grabbed your things and started to head out with him.

You were grateful for the comfortable silence as he drove to the restaurant, allowing you some time to try and change your mood. He’d put some softer lofi on the radio and let you silently watch as the streetlights flashed past your window. You weren't sure how he always seemed to know exactly what you needed, yet he always did.

When you arrived at the restaurant you were surprised to hear he’d made reservations for the two of you. You couldn’t help but smile, despite the discomfort welling up that he’d chosen something more fancy than you had expected- or dressed for.

“Wait, wait…” He hooked arm around your side, stopping you as you followed the host to the booth. He spun you into him in front of the elegant floor length mirror stood beside the entrance and pulled out his phone for a picture. You giggled at the quick cute gesture and posed with him, shutting your eyes as he snapped the pic to avoid any further mental spiraling.

Dinner went by uneventfully, you stayed a bit more quiet as he excitedly told you about new songs he was working on, or vented about the issues holding up his new merch drop. It wasn’t entirely due to your bad mood, you loved seeing him enthuse about his passions and how animated he’d suddenly become. His whiskey toned eyes would light up and his excitement was palpable in the air, making even you more energized. It wasn’t until halfway through or so when you came back from the bathroom that things shifted. You caught sight of him looking up at you returning before tucking his phone quickly away again.

“What’s that about?” You questioned lightheartedly with a laugh.

“Oh it’s nothing… Did you wanna get dessert?” He dismissed before swiftly changing the subject, but not before you caught a strange look on his face.

“Okay Mr. Secretive… um, I think I’m full though.” You shrugged awkwardly as you looked down at your plate.

“You sure weren't saying that about the wine though…” He chuckled as he sipped his own glass.

“I- okay?” You rebutted, hesitating as you gave him a confused glance. “I was just trying to cure my bad mood…” You internally cringed as your voice came out more defeated and offended than you intended, seemingly proving his point that you’d had too much. It was only two glasses… am I really that bad? All that stupid pasta I kept shoving in my fat mouth absorbed it all- I don’t even feel drunk…

“Wh- no… baby I- I was just making a joke… I didn’t mean anything by it-” His face softened with concern.

“No it’s fine… I probably have had too much- sorry.” You managed to squeak out, your face reddening with embarrassment. “Let’s just get the check…” I just want to go home now… Jesus Christ. You bit down on the inside of your lip as you heard the harsh, irritated sigh he let out.

---

The drive back from the restaurant was insufferable, just as it had been for him to the restaurant. He wasn’t sure if even his knives could’ve cut the tension radiating from the passenger side. It was clear something happened but he didn’t know what. Before he’d gone to his office to join the stream everything was fine, but once he came back the mood had completely changed.

“Are you- okay? Did I do something to upset you?” He asked as tentatively as he could upon getting back home.

“N-No, I’m fine. I’m sorry I had too much to drink.” Your voice was still soft but had a bit of an edge to it.

“I’m sorry I said that at the restaurant, I didn’t mean it like that at all. I meant it in like a- ‘it’s funny that you chose the wine over dessert…’ because I agreed- kind of way… I’m sorry baby.” He paused, taking your hands and tugging you gently closer as he kissed your forehead. “Y/n, If I did something to upset you, I wanna know, so I can fix it and make you feel better. You’ve seemed upset since I got off stream.”

“It… it’s fine, I’m just stupidly sensitive. I’m fine.” You ruined the entire night with him, great job. If he really wasn’t hiding anything on his phone earlier, he’ll surely start now. You huffed in frustration at yourself. “I should probably get home…”

“W- Why? You always leave Monday mornings…” He asked, feeling his energy plummet as you continued to shut down.

“I just have an early day tomorrow is all. I’m sorry…” You met his gaze, immediately wishing you hadn't as you offered a half smile to his heartbreakingly defeated expression. You pushed back the self-criticism as you went to collect your things, that could wait until you were alone in your car. He silently followed you back into his room like a kicked puppy and helped you gather your things, making your brain slew more insecurities about him wanting you gone. Once all your stuff was in your bag he walked you out to your car while you said your goodbyes.

“Please drive safe…”

He’ll just feel guilty if something happens…

“...text me when you get home…”

He feels like he has to say that… you’re so fucking sensitive. He walks on eggshells with you.

“I love you…”

No he doesn’t, why the fuck would he?

The drive back home continued that way as you dissociated the entire time, only letting the tears fall once you were back inside your own house. After having a small breakdown over the bullying your brain had done, you texted him you were home before collapsing down into your bed- exhausted by it all. You were ready for any solace you could get from mindlessly scrolling your phone, though it seemed the universe had something else in mind. You opened your instagram to check messages from your friends but were promptly bombarded by a photo he’d posted of the two of you from the restaurant. He’d put some goofy angel and devil emojis over your faces that you tried to let yourself laugh at but couldn't muster at the moment. He’d captioned it ‘LOMFL 😍🥵’ that got a small smile out of you, but not without a scoff. It wasn’t really until you tapped on the comments, you felt your gut tighten. The first few were various heart emojis from Rae, Tina, and Sean- but below that it took a turn. His fans attacked everything about you, your outfit, your weight, even your personality- as if they even knew you. But it didn’t stop there, some crazed fans had gone as far as finding you somehow- despite him never tagging you- and DMing your personal account even more vile things, even death threats. You wanted to vomit. You wanted to scream and show them how awful you could really be, but mostly you wanted to make yourself stop believing them. You didn’t want any of it to be true… but you were now convinced it was.

The next day you kept your phone completely off, even going as far as deleting all your socials before shutting it off. In the morning meeting with your boss you informed her your phone wasn’t working and email was how you should be contacted from now on, so you wouldn't even need it on for later. You went about your daily tasks at work completely numb, doing everything you could to keep yourself too busy to think. Of course, that only worked at work, at home it was entirely different. The next few days turned to weeks as you cleaned like you never had before, you rearranged furniture like you were suddenly trying to fit four Alaskan king sized beds in your home, you went to the store and meal prepped- full well knowing you’d have no appetite, you binged several of your favorite shows entirely.

By the third week, you’d fully run out of tasks to keep the thoughts and anxiety at bay. You scrolled through Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon- finding nothing. Out of either habit or some subconscious cue about the anxiety of not texting the only person you wanted to at the moment, you opened up Youtube. You rolled your eyes and groaned softly but scrolled through the videos anyway, cringing as the recommendations of Sussy Sundays and various other videos with your boyfriend popped up. You felt incredibly guilty about not talking to him. It wasn’t like the two of you talked non-stop, or that he’d be mad, you were just sure with the way you’d left things he was likely worrying about you by now. As you continued to scroll you saw a live video pop up in your suggestions, of him. He’s live? Why is he live? He doesn’t stream anymore… You were already anxious, but after reading the title ‘we need to talk…’ you started to feel sick. You hesitantly clicked the video and his voice rang out from your TV.

“...I really don’t give a fuck how you guys feel or what you fuckin think…” He paused, presumably reading the chat. “I know it’s not all of you… but those of you that are commenting this shit… I don’t wanna fuckin see it- I don’t everr wanna see this shit again… if you like my content but come into my chat, or friends chats, or on twitter.com or instagram and say that shit… fucking unsubscribe right now, fuck you. Get off the fucking internet, it's disgusting.” You took in a deep breath as anxiety welled up more, why was he doing this? “I’ll straight up never put out another thing ever again if this keeps happening. I know that people are always gonna be assholes, but if you’re a fan of me or whatever- and saying this fucking shit about my partner? Go fuck yourself. I don’t want your fucking support…”

You stared at his animated figure standing in the rain blankly and opened up your laptop, starting a video call to him. You waited for a while as he went silent on stream before it was denied. Is he mad at me? It’s all my fault- fuck.

“Anyways- I just thought I’d get on here and reprimand you fucks… and to all my actual fans, being kind and supportive, thank you, and keep reporting these people- love you guys… oodles and oodles… keep being you- I’m sorry you guys had to hear this… love you.”

You tried again as the stream ended. Again denied. Fuck he’s pissed… Because of me he had to get on after not streaming anymore and do that- fuck… You took a deep breath and tried to not overthink. Maybe he’s just sick of your bullshit. If he was worried or he’d been trying to contact you at all, he probably would’ve answered. You fidgeted nervously at the thought. I’ll just start a new show- keep my mind off this… You shut your laptop and dejectedly threw it aside on the couch before getting up and grabbing some blankets for another night of Netflix.

You were two episodes in when you decided to grab a snack but just as you paused the show and stood, there was a knock on the door. You looked over, and cautiously moved toward it. Peeking out the peephole you saw what looked like an outraged figure of your boyfriend standing outside. You felt icy panic run through you as you grabbed the handle and twisted, preparing yourself for the worst.

“You’re okay…” He sighed in relief as his whole body relaxed.

“I- Y- yeah… I- I’m fine.. What are you-” You tried to play catch up, still in shock to see him at your door, let alone not yelling at you.

“You haven’t answered your phone- for anyone- in like a month…” He seemed to pant out. “I tried to give you space and not worry too much when you weren't answering, but then you deleted your socials, and then didn’t answer Tina, or Rae… or me… I was… scared.” He paused and caught his breath. “When you video called me I panicked, I thought you were in trouble or- I- I don’t even know… I just rushed over.” He stepped in and yanked you into one of his enveloping bear hugs. You stood motionless, mostly from how tight his arms were around you, but partially from even more surprise. Here he was, yet again, proving that he knew you better than anyone- and certainly better than you knew him. The guilt of not talking to him only grew now. How could you have ever thought any awful things about the panic stricken, devoted, heart-of-fucking-gold man that was seemingly holding onto you for dear life?

“I- I’m sorry…” You squeaked out, faltering under his obvious concern. He sighed again and released his hold but kept his hands gently on your arms.

“Please don’t do that again… If you need space that's okay, but please just tell me… I- I didn’t know what to think- or do…” He knelt down to your level slightly, his face full of worry as he seemed to practically beg.

“I’m sorry…” You swallowed hard, feeling your face heat as your voice wavered.

“I-It’s okay… I- I’m not mad… I just wanted to know you’re safe- cause I worked myself into a panic not knowing- I’m sorry I just showed up out of the blue…” He took a deep breath. “If you still need space that's okay I just- I was really worried. I know I’m probably overreacting…”

“No… I just… I don’t know-” You looked down at your feet, the guilt consuming you now as he continued to prove every horrible thought you had about him wrong.

“Do you want to talk?” He questioned hesitantly as his mind began reeling in the same way yours had. You just nodded, looking up as he closed the door and looked back to you, eyes still full of worry.

You moved back to the couch and curled up into the blanket, comforting yourself and trying to hold back tears of guilt over how you’d acted toward him. He slowly moved to sit by you.

“What’s going on? A-are you upset with me?” He stuttered nervously, also anticipating the worst. You shook your head and shut your eyes as they welled up. It all felt so stupid now- but the constant harassment, death threats, and insults had done a number- and having him here, almost completely in the dark about it all but still so kind and loving was just too much all at once.

“Oh- baby… shh come here.” He soothed melodically as he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you tightly again. “Please talk to me.” His voice was soft and quiet as he pressed kisses onto the top of your head.

“I don’t wanna cry- it’s stupid…” You managed to mumble.

“It’s not stupid- something is really bothering you… is it the comments and shit?” You nodded.

“It’s all of it- I- I don’t know why you’re even with me…” Your voice cracked and broke.

“Y/n, I’m with you because I’m in love with you- I wouldn’t ever let the opinions of fucking dumbass ten-year-olds with no internet supervision change or dictate that…” You cringed as you heard the offended tone in his voice.

“I know… I just… I let my brain believe it all… and I feel shitty… and that just makes me wonder even more why- because I do shit like this- even though you’re nothing but amazing and loving to me…” You choked out between sobs.

“You’re not shitty…” His tone softened even more as he pulled your face up. “I have no idea what it’s like to go through that, and how you can even deal with it. Most people don’t. I knew it was hard to see, and if I had any idea that you’d been this upset about it for this long I would’ve stopped it right then and there…” He kissed your forehead and wiped off your tears. “I’m so sorry baby… I should’ve known.” You shook your head.

“I should’ve just told you… but I felt so stupid- letting it get to me- I wanted to just come home and clear my head and get over it… but then it got worse and I just I don’t know, I couldn't deal.” He pushed your hair from your face and let you continue after the sobs began to slow. “Now I just feel guilty and shitty for avoiding you- avoiding all of it, not telling you… especially when you are… like this- so nice, and understanding.” You scoffed harshly at yourself, making him chuckle.

“Don’t. It’s a pretty understandable way to react… I’m sorry honey…” He leaned in and kissed you softly. “Would it help if I pretend to be mad at you?” He joked lightly as you parted. You let out a weak but honest giggle and gave an exaggeratory nod. He laughed and tsked loudly. “I can’t believe it… how could someone so goddamn attractive, funny, kind, and lovable think that I’d be dumb enough to see any warrant to the words of fuckin dipshit kids? To think that I’m not already blindly and completely head over heels? I’m disappointed…” He mocked in a goofy tone.

“Shut up…” You laughed, wiping your face and pushing him playfully.

“I love you dummy.” He chuckled and kissed you again.

“I love you too, Corpsie.”

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0san-ta0 · 13 days

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Late Night Missing You

synopsis ★ whilst arthur is off on a trip you start feeling lonely and resort to some unconventional methods of entertainment

pairing ★ fem!reader x arthur fredrick (arthurtv) author's notes ★ this is my first time writing an actual fic so it might be kinda shitty! feedback and tips are appreciated!! and i hope you enjoy!! <33 (NOT PROOFREAD)

arthur had been in sri lanka with chip and the boys for almost a week. although to you it felt way longer than that. sure, the facetimes, texts and voice notes were great but you couldn't help it as the loneliness had started creeping in by day 3. your usual daily routine had shifted slightly but your mind couldn't keep up, cooking enough for two or sitting on the couch waiting for arthur to walk through the door. your mood had been in the trenches and sitting alone in your apartment wasn't helping. you didn't want to bother your other friends this late at night. so you decided to have an impromptu stream, talking with the random people on your computer and drinking was sure to cheer you up.

you sat in front of your computer, a random video playing on your screen. you dared your chat that they coudn't send in a video to make you laugh, but if you did laugh that you'd take a shot. it had been about an hour of watching the most unhinged and random tiktoks and you were loosing horribly. a video of a young girl running into a wall flashed across the screen, sending you spiralling into a fit of laughter once again. maybe you felt bad about laughing but your sense of humour was wrecked at this point and coupled with the alcohol any odd video had you wheezing and reaching for the bottle of Bailey's infront of you.

"chat I swear I didn't mean too that doesn't count. i'm not taking a shot! at this rate i'll die of alcohol poisoning before midnight."

the comments started flowing in a majority of them about your new found adventurism, the other half was wondering where arthur was that he isn't supervising you. it was strange that he wasn't hovering in the background making sure you stayed hydrated or preparing your shots when he knew you for a fact that you were gonna laugh. your eyes glossed over the arthur comments trying not to let your mood shift too much, choosing to focus on the funnier comments.

"lilia284 thank you for the sub! and guys arthur is out of the country so..." you trailed off as the comments started on another tangent about where arthur was exactly.

"I can't tell you guys that but when it's released I'm sure you'll all be grateful for the lack of spoilers. now back to the videos and please no more children getting hurt I don't need to be clipped half drunk laughing at children. that's not good for my public image." then the topic switched to your most outrageous moments and you felt that you had successfully evaded the arthur topic and got your emotions in check.

restarting the video, it started with a man running and slipping down the stairs. your headphones playing at almost full volume you failed to hear the sound of the front door clicking open. filming had finished early and arthur wanted nothing more than to go home and lay in bed with you. walking into your shared apartment he looked around, searching for any sign of you before putting his suitcase down next to the door.

"y/n?" he called softly walking down the hall, poking his head into your dark bedroom before turning finding the light coming from your office door. he looked at the door and raised his eyebrows, you usually didn't stream this late perhaps you were doing some work.

then your voice came through, "this isn't fair that was a giggle, I don't deserve to drink for that you people just hate me!"

he stood outside the door confusion evident on his face, he took his phone from his pocket opening twitch. low and behold there you were front and center of his following page. he clicked the icon, just in time to see you poor a shot of Bailey's and down it.

another giggle escaped you lips as you placed the glass down on your desk, a smile making it's way to your lips. at this point you were more than buzzed and you could admit that comfortably. you turned to read off your donations and arthur saw his chance. he opened the chat and sent a 5 dollar donation to be read aloud.

'arthurtv $5 so this is what you do when I leave? I thought we got drunk together?'

your back stiffened slightly as you heard his name, you cleared you thought and smiled at the camera. "hi sweetheart!!" you waved at the camera and from outside arthur stood there smiling for a moment.

"I hope you're having fun and I miss you!" you mumbled, a pout making it's way to your face. then another donation came through.

'arthurtv $5 well if you really missed me you'd come outside!'

your eyebrows knit together as you look between the door and her stream then back to the door. your chat started flooding with messages about going to get your man and a lot of comments along those lines. you said a quick goodbye to your stream before shutting down your PC and turning to the door. arthur stood outside waiting for you to open it, a few moments passed before the door was flung open. you stood Infront of him a stupid smile on your face as you flung yourself into his arms.

"arthur I freaking missed you so much!" he laughed softly, running a hand along your back.

"so you chose to get drunk online?" he questioned raising an eyebrow.

"it was a better idea than laying on the floor and crying."

#arthurtv x reader #arthurtv imagines #arthurtv #arthur frederick

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yawneneteyam · 1 year

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gorgeous (5) — sunset and vine.

— GORGEOUS, an avatar smau ( by yawneneteyam )

— gorgeous, sunset and vine !

"I hate that you don't look bad" y/n sighed as she opened the door to the main entrance. she didn't wait for a response before trudging back towards the staircase. neteyam chuckled before following her.

"if it means anything, I think you look great," he took in her messy hair and flushed face.

"yeah the dressing gown is a really good look," y/n rolled her eyes. it was a pale blue with small white flowers over it. neteyam envied how soft it looked.

y/n's dorm room was one of the closest to the stairs, so she was happy that she didn't have to walk anymore- neteyam was too. neteyam coughed into his fist as y/n opened her front door.

"this is it," it was small, cozy, "nothing special," she sniffed.

"it's nice!" neteyam shrugged his backpack off his right shoulder putting it by the door.

eventually, they both got on y/n's bed and got out their laptops and books. they were both slow to start on their work, too eager to speak with each other. it was approaching the late afternoon when they called for a break.

"have you taken any medicine today?" neteyam asked, clearing his throat. y/n noticed that he was frequently checking in on her, even though he sounded worse than her. neteyam was too caring and prideful for his own good.

"yeah, this morning" y/n nodded, stretching her arms above her head. He watched as the candle sitting on her window sill flickered and hit her skin just right in the darkness. the sun was beginning to go down. "I should probably take some more," y/n sniffed, getting up from her spot in bed.

"I can put a movie on or something if you want?" she pulled out a packet of cold and flu tablets. "Or a tv show?" neteyam knew he could stay for much longer, his mom and dad would expect him home for dinner- but he couldn't say no to her.

"yeah," He nodded, "yeah, we can do that"

neteyam was slow to lay himself down on her bed, but when y/n giggled at his apprehensiveness, he laid down quickly with a roll of his eyes. she offered him some medicine, he declined saying he would be fine. y/n knew he was being stubborn and prideful. so she slipped her spare packet into his backpack with a sticky note attached to it.

you're too stubborn, take care of yourself! was scrawled onto the post-it, with her snapchat handle written on there too. she crawled back onto her bed, with neteyam holding his laptop, some streaming service on the screen.

they decided on a movie. quiet chatter between them as the movie played. the sun how now set and neteyam had fallen asleep. y/n closed the lid of his laptop with a smile. she put all of his books back into his bag with the rest of his things. she could hear his chest rattle as he breathed, with a shake of her head she wished he would watch after himself better.

— gorgeous, sunset and vine !

y/n let neteyam sleep for a little while before waking him up. "nete, you've gotta get up- it's getting late," she whispered. neteyam began to slowly stir, a few coughs breaking away from his mouth. he was quick to cover his mouth, realising how close she was to him- mumbling a quick and embarrassed apology.

"what time is it?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"around seven?" she wasn't entirely sure to be honest.

"shit," he rubbed his eyes, "I better get home before my mom starts to worry,"

"I'll walk you downstairs,"

"yeah just let me pack up my-" he paused, realising his stuff had already been put away for him, "thanks y/n,"

"it's okay," she shrugged, trying her best to not shyly avert her gaze to the ground. y/n took off her dressing gown to walk neteyam downstairs, knowing most of the girls would be downstairs for dinner.

"thank you for coming Neteyam," y/n noticed a few girls eyeing neteyam from behind her.

"always, I'll send you my half of what I did," he smiled.

"yeah cool, whenever you can"

"still good to sit with each other on Tuesday?" he covered his mouth as he coughed again. y/n winced, hearing the crackle of his chest.

"yeah if you haven't died," she playfully nudged him, "go home and rest,"

"I was but some girl made me come to her dorm," he smirked.

"oh whatever," she rolled her eyes, opening the door for him. "get out then," y/n chuckled, lighting pushing him outside.

"I will," he smiled, "night y/n, go to sleep early,"

"take your own advice for once yeah?" she crossed her arms. he watched her as she leant against the doorframe, her hair was sitting perfectly- he wished that she could see how beautiful she looked.

"yeah, sure" he nod

— gorgeous, sunset and vine ! I seriously couldn't help and not make Jamie towa'an its just so funny to me???????? I am actually hilarious. okay here's the fifth part, more progression between y/n and Neteyam <3 also the little speech bubble without an arrow shape was y/n thoughts!!!!! let me know what you want to see in these, etc. all the love!!!

#•°. * gorgeous smau #neteyam x reader #neteyam sully #neteyam x y/n #neteyam headcanons #netyam smut #*࿐ neteyam #avatar x reader #avatar #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #avatar 2022 #avatar fanfiction

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mysticmellowlove · 11 months

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yan streamer being delusional

a/n - bro i need someone to pick me up, tell me why i had three back to back assignments and it's the end of the semester. STOP PUTTING ALL THE ASSIGNMENTS AT THE END OF THE SEMESTER!!! also I'm getting there with the requests! swear to god I'll put more stuff out soon, i want to leave these stupid lab reports behind and get back to fucking submissive men.

warnings; gn reader pronouns, yandere behaviour, yandere streamer, yandere male, sub yandere, kinda a joke but not really, not edited at all

word count; 1544

If fifteen year old you were to look into the future you probably wouldn't have liked what you saw. As a freshly graduated student with a bachelor's degree the whole world expected you to be some professional business partner but here you were... modding for a popular twitch streamer.

In all honesty it wasn't that bad, and the environment around job hiring was insane at the moment anyway. You wouldn't have been able to find a job even if you tried. The streamer paid well enough, especially considering all you had to do was flag underhanded and inappropriate comments. It was lucrative... for someone who didn't have a home loan to pay off.

A sigh left your mouth as you watched the chat scroll by. You had been watching this guy before you even got a job underneath him, sometimes background noise was good while you were studying. His content had taken a turn from those quiet streams where he talked about daily life to what he was doing now though. Now he was much more popular and he played only the newest games.

Did you wish sometimes he would go back and check up on his old game profiles? Yes. Did you care enough to suggest that to him? No. Life moves on.

Your eyes trained on a particular comment, distasteful as usual, and you got rid of it. Flagging and banning the commenter so your streamer could look into it later.

"Thank you Sugar." Your lips pursed. The job pated well, the content was interesting and you didn't have to leave your home. The chat filled up with heart emojis and kissy face emojis. Some of them were even customised to look like your discord profile picture (designed by the other person who had seen it; the streamer himself).

There was just one downside, both the streamer and his chat were weirdly into you. Or you as a mod you guessed. Still, you didn't mind it, at least not usually. Human interaction was good, even if it was through a screen.

The rest of his stream went well, thanks to the effort of you and the other mods. As soon as the screen had closed you pushed your chair make and groaned as your stretched your muscles out. It was pretty late and you were kinda hungry. There was a little restaurant that stayed open later than usual on the ground floor of the apartment building you lived in but the quality was questionable.

After deciding that your stomach was going to eat itself you threw on a jacket and grabbed your wallet before leaving the apartment. It would be nice to get some furniture soon. University debt couldn't last forever right?

As soon as you left your apartment the sound of someone coming down the stairs made you turn your head. The exact second you looked at them though your head snapped back to your door. Eyes wide, mouth open... that was the streamer! Your mind ticked, did he live here! In this shoddy building with the rates too high for what it was? But he was... relatively well off. His room was decked out in those fancy led lights and he had a really comfy-looking chair. His PC set up was apparently wild from the small glimpses you had gotten and yet he lived here. In the same building as you did.

It was in that moment that something clicked in your mind, people had lives outside of the internet. A resolute nod made you finally leave your doorway and join him on the trek downstairs. Half the time on the way down you wondered in he thought you were trailing him, the other half was spent wondering if he was hungry too.

There was no way he knew it was you though. You were faceless online and even though you knew him there was no way anyone would peel that information from you.

"Hey, I like your sweater." Your face went white as you saw him stop at the bottom of the stairs, a boyish smile on his face. Your sweater... his merch. Your lips pressed into a thin line, the world was playing with you today. You cracked your knuckles, this could go two ways.

"Yeah, haha... nice stream tonight boss man." His eyes widened. Tonight was just supposed to be you getting off from work and then grabbing some food. You had an interview tomorrow and yet here you were revealing yourself to your employer.

"You're one of my mods! It's nice to meet you in person, I can't believe I live in the same building as one. You getting food as well?" You guessed it wasn't all bad. Talking with him like this reminded you of his old streams, when he had only a couple hundred viewers.

"Yeah, crazy right." You commented as the two of you made your way to the restaurant. Since it was so late at night there wasn't a line to get take away so you made it through in record time. In the restaurant and even on the way up you chatted with the streamer until he basically dropped you at your door.

Before you went inside he asked you one more question, which one of his mods were you. After you have him the answer and watched him walk away you went inside and began to eat. Today wasn't as bad as you thought after all.

His door slid shut with an audible click as he gently rested his food on the counter. What were the chances that he'd meet his favourite person of all time tonight? His beloved mod, Sugar. A short wheeze left his mouth as his smile spread into a wide grin.

He didn't know what it was about you but just getting to know you before he hired you made him feel giddy. You two were a match made in heaven. You had wit, jokes and a kind side as well. Basically you were everything he had ever wanted and more.

And you lived in the same building as he did.

Now he had an excuse to talk to you outside of the work you did for him, he'd be able to get to know you better. Maybe he'd even manage to make you fall in love with him just as he had for you. Just thinking about it made his heart flutter and his blood run hot. His cheeks grew warm as he forgot all about his late night dinner. Instead, he wobbled over to his couch and fell onto it.

Your profile picture had been of a stereotypical soft edit, a practical joke from your friends that you hadn't bothered to change. He was ashamed to admit that he had jerked off to the picture before, sometimes he even took your chats out of context and used them to fuel his fantasies.

But, you looked nothing like how he thought you would. He was expecting some sort of catfish who went onto discord to try and get middle-aged men to give them money (he hadn't minded that fantasy either, there was something so hot about not being able to freely do anything without your partner's permission.) but you were completely different.

You were a burnt-out graduate just like he was.

Soon he found his hand resting on the outside of his underwear, pretending it was your hand. Would you be soft and embody your online persona or would you be so pent up that you used him to your content? His hand tightened in response to his thoughts, sending a wave of pleasure right to his stomach.

A short groan left him as he closed his eyes and stroked. He pulled his clothes down and circled his tip, trying to keep his hips still as he envisioned you sitting before him.

He finally had a face to the name and now his imagination was running wild. Was your skin unblemished? Did you have tattoos, what was the colour of your underwear. His heart beat faster as he realised he'd finally be able to find all these things about you out. You lived on the floor below him, he could sneak in anytime he wanted!

Maybe he'd take some of your clothes, dress himself up in them and pretend that you were making him parade around as some sort of doll. Did you own any toys? He'd take those two and revel at the closeness. You had used them on yourself...

He swallowed, it was getting harder to breathe. His hand worked furiously on his cock, the sensation more punishing than pleasurable. Surely that was what you would do if you found out about all the dirty things he had thought of you doing to him.

As soon as he had started he found himself cumming. His mouth dropped open in a silent scream as the pleasure rocked through his whole body while he came down from his high. As soon as he was able to calm himself down he shut his eyes and grinned.

This was going to be fun.

#sub yandere #sub male #yandere male #yan streamer #gn reader

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andvys · 2 years

Text

Fourth of July

Warnings: angst, mentions of depression and anxiety, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts?, mention of alcohol and drug use, fluff at the end

Pairing: Eddie Munson x female hopper!reader (reader is adopted)

*not proofread!

Loss.

You have experienced so much loss in your life. So much that it made you feel nothing and yet everything at once. Everything bad.

You wake up crying, every night. Drenched in sweat, gasping for air as you’re clutching your chest. It takes a few minutes for you to calm down but it really feels like hours. Hours of replaying your nightmares even though you’re trying to forget them, so desperately.

You see the faces of the people you lost, the people that died or left. Every night, you hear their screams as they are getting torn apart by whatever it is down there and you know your mind is playing tricks on you, considering that half of those people you see in your dreams are still alive. They are still here and so are you even though you catch yourself thinking you wish you weren't.

You wish you weren't here.

All you felt was pain, this agonizing kind of pain that made every little thing so unbearable but you told yourself to hold on, that there was more than just this pain.

The pain that never seemed to stop.

Blinking, you stare at the heavy rain hitting the windows. Single droplets streaming down the glass, just the way your tears stream down your face whenever you wake up crying.

You drown out the teacher’s voice or the ringing of the bell. Not even noticing that everyone is packing up and leaving the classroom.

You don’t even know why you’re here, at school.

Your bad grades and failed classes have forced you to stay behind, repeating your senior year; if someone had told you this one year ago, you would have laughed in their face and called them crazy. Your grades were good and you have never, ever failed a class in your life.

That is until you lost your dad.

Everything just changed after he was gone.

It wasn't the same anymore.

You shut everyone out, pushed your friends away. Not because you wanted them out of your life but because you weren't ready for them to see you this way and you weren't ready to lose someone else.

You felt as though you were a curse. Everyone who got too close to you, ended up getting hurt or worse. They died.

Your dad called himself a curse once and maybe it wasn't actually him. Maybe it was you.

The rain is falling, freely.

Just like it did that night you watched Joyce walk out of the mall without him, without your dad.

“(y/n)?”

Tearing your eyes away from the window, you look up to find Nancy standing in front of you, looking at you in concern.

Furrowing your brows, you look around the now empty classroom. You were so deep in thought, you didn't even hear the bell ringing. You don't notice anything anymore.

Looking back at your friend, you mumble a quiet ‘hey’ as you get up. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind you ear, you grab your history book.

“Are you okay?”

No.

“Yeah, just kinda tired.” you lie as you force a smile on your face.

Nancy eyes your expression, noticing the dark circles under your eyes, the dull look in your eyes and the tired expression on your face. You are suffering. She knows you’re lying about your feelings, that you refuse to open up and she worries about you, she worries about her best friend.

“Nightmares?” she asks carefully as you both walk out of the classroom.

“Uh- n-no, just, staying up late to study. I need to fix my grades and I’m behind on some stuff.” you lie, again. That’s all you seem to be doing lately.

Lying about your feelings, lying about your wellbeing, lying about your nightmares.

Lies.

It’s all just lies now.

Hell, you’re even lying to yourself. Telling yourself that you’re fine. That you will be okay. Eventually.

Nancy nods, pretending to believe your lies. She isn't stupid, she knows you and she knows that you’re an awful liar when it comes to your feelings. You always get that look in your eyes, that guilty one before you look away to avoid eye contact.

“Hey, would you like to have a sleepover tonight? Just like old times?” Nancy asks, opening the door to the cafeteria, she glances back at you to find you with a skeptic expression on your face, one that gives your answer away already and while she respected your decisions and the distance you needed after what happened last year, she started to feel frustrated with you. Not because she was angry at you but because she was worried about you. Worried about her best friend “we could watch a movie, paint our finger nails and listen to whatever music you want.” she adds.

Your eyes soften at her suggestion, a sad smile tugging at your lips as you think about all the sleepovers you used to have together. How careless and happy you were when things were.. so much simpler.

You miss it.

You would have loved to have a sleepover but the thought of getting a nightmare during one and giving away the state you’re in kept you from saying ‘yes’ so you came up with a lie. As always.

Guilt creeps up on you as you see the sad look in her eyes.

“B-But we can go to the movies if you want.” you offer as you sit down at one of the less crowded tables in the cafeteria.

Her eyes light up at your words, a smile appearing on her face “yes! that would be perfect.”

You smile at your friend as she starts suggesting all the movies you could watch.

Feelings eyes on you, you glance around the bustling room curiously until your eyes lock with his.

Eddie Munson.

His dark eyes locked on you, he’s staring. As if he is staring into your soul, trying to figure you out.

Blinking, you’re unable to look away from him, his eyes, his glance, he, he pulls you in.

You miss him.

The two of you got assigned to a project a few months before your life changed so drastically.

He was funny and sweet. He made you laugh more than anyone else did and he made you happy. He was amazing and the short time you spent with him as your friend, was the best.

But you were unaware of his feelings for you.

Eddie who spent most of his high school years longing for you, was hopelessly in love with you.

The moment he laid his eyes on you all these years back, he knew. He knew you were the one.

He felt like the luckiest man alive when you were assigned as partners and he felt even more lucky when you continued hanging out with him even after you were done with the project.

Nights spent with music and late night drives turned into a routine over the summer and it was perfect, so perfect.

Until the 4th of July happened.

And everything changed.

You changed.

And you distanced yourself from him, from everyone.

And you never let him back in.

You stare at each other, for what feels like forever, neither of you seem to be able to look away from one another. God, you miss him so much.

The sad gaze his eyes hold is enough for your broken heart to crack even further, tears prickle in the corners of your eyes causing you to tear your eyes away from him, looking down at your hands as you try to focus on Nancy’s voice again but you can still feel his eyes on you.

The rain is pouring down on you, mixing in with your tears. Your clothes are drenched, your hair falling in front of your face as you’re walking through the empty streets of Hawkins.

Your heart is racing and you’re barely able to catch your breath, feeling as though you ran all the way here even though you only walked.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

After your night at the movies with Nancy, the two of you shared a few drinks- maybe a few too many but you felt good, better than you did in a while and you finally managed to enjoy life, again.

Until you came back home.

The moment you stepped into the empty and cold house and you walked past your dads room- what used to be his room, your heart just dropped. You felt sick to your stomach.

If he was still here, he would have lectured you about coming home so late, especially after all the things that happened in this town.

But he wasn't here anymore.

And this wasn't your home anymore. It didn't feel like it now that he was gone.

You’re tired, so so tired of feeling this way.

You left the house, not even caring about the raging storm. You just started walking, letting your feet take you wherever.

You didn’t care about the cold rain on your skin. If anything, it felt nice, at least it felt better than waking up drenched in sweat because of nightmares.

Strumming his guitar, Eddie is staring at his wall blankly. His thoughts occupied by you, the way they always are.

It’s been almost a year since you came into his life and left just as quickly. He couldn't blame you though. You lost your dad and you needed some time alone, he respected that but seeing you around school and not being able to just go up to you and pull you into his arms the way he always wants to, drives him insane.

He cares about you in a way he never cared for anyone.

Loud knocking echoes through his trailer. Furrowing his brows, Eddie looks at the clock on his table 2:31 AM. Who comes knocking at 2 AM in the morning?

Putting his guitar down, he gets up, sighing as he walks through his trailer.

He sighs in annoyance as the knocking continues.

“I’m coming!”

Ready to yell at whoever decided to knock on his door at this hour, Eddie pulls open his door, about to open his mouth to tell the person on the other side to fuck off but when his eyes lock with yours, his words get caught in his throat.

Standing there, you are shaking from the cold rain, your clothes are drenched, your bottom lip is trembling and he can’t tell whether it’s tears running down your face or if it’s the rain.

“H-Hi..”

He mumbles your name, staring at you worriedly. Grabbing your arm he pulls you into his warm trailer.

“(Y/n), w-what are you doing here? Did something happen? Are you okay?” he rambles as he puts his hand on your shoulders, eying you in concern.

Your glassy eyes give away that you have been crying all the way here, the side alone is enough to make his heart ache.

“I’m gonna grab you a towel or blanket.” he mumbles but before he can make a move, you grab his hand, mumbling a quiet ‘no’.

Looking down at your hand, he notices how badly you are shaking. Worry creeps up on him as he eyes you slowly. Cupping your hand with his other one, he steps closer to you.

“I-I don’t- I’m okay.” you stutter as you grip his hand tightly, looking around the room nervously “I just- c-can you give me something?”

Eddie furrows his brows at your words “w-what?”

He feels stupid for asking, by the look in your eyes, he already knows what you want from him.

You sigh, another tear escaping your eye “drugs, pills anything, please.” you whisper, looking away in shame. This wasn't like you. You didn't even recognize your own voice as you uttered those words but you want to escape reality even if it’s just for a short while.

You want to fall asleep without having to worry about yet another nightmare.

Eddie’s face twisted, sadness clouding his features as he looks at you, taking in your state, he notices that you’re not even shaking from the rain, your lip isn't trembling from the cold. You’re anxious, panicked even. You look scared and tired at the same time and now that you’re standing right in front of him, he can see you.

He can see how you are still suffering.

Your eyes look dull despite the tears in them. You look tired, as if you haven't slept in weeks and you looked as though you were near a goddamn panic attack.

“I- drinks don’t help a-and I can’t take sleeping pills, they don't help and if I take too many, I-I won't-” you hesitated as your eyes met his, even through your blurred vision, you can still see the worry and confusion in his eyes.

“You won’t wake up.” he nods, finishing your sentence. He grows even more concerned as you stare at him with this broken look in your eyes.

Something tells him that you wouldn't even care if you didn't end up waking up.

But he cares, he cares so much, it would break him if something happened to you.

“So please, give me something, Eddie, I don’t care what it is, j-just please, I need it.” you beg as tears roll down your cheek.

A wave of sadness came over him. He has never seen you like this, so broken, so fragile and so desperate for something that you would have never touched one year ago.

You rarely ever had any alcohol, let alone touched any of his weed but now you were asking for drugs?

Eddie shakes his head, his brows pulled together. He will give you anything you want. Anything but this.

“No.”

A sigh leaves your lips. The thought of having to go home and crying yourself to sleep only to wake up sobbing because of your taunting nightmares made you feel so defeated.

“Please Eddie, please.” you cry, not even caring about how miserable you looked. Your tears are falling freely as you look into his large sad eyes. Letting go of his hand, you put your hand into the pockets of your jeans, not even noticing how badly your hands are shaking.

“Here.” grabbing the dollar bills, you hold them against his chest “you can have anything you want.” you cry, your voice so heavy with emotions.

Eddie sighs deeply, closing his eyes for a moment, he takes a deep breath, taking your hand in his, he opens his eyes as he pushes the money towards you again “no.” he repeats.

He won't lose you to this. Not you.

“You can have anything you want from me, sweetheart but not this.”

The way you so desperately asked him for this, basically throwing your money at him whilst looking at him with those teary eyes of yours, gave away the broken state you are in. Making him even more worried about you.

You huff as you close your eyes. A pained expression on your face as you take a step back. Pulling your hand out of his, you nod softly. You feel defeated.

“Okay.” you whisper, trying to blink away your tears “I'm sorry.” you mumble, you look into his eyes one more time before you turn around to leave but before you can take a step forward, he grabs your hand, whispering your name softly.

“Talk to me, sweetheart.” he whispers.

You stand with your back to him, breathing heavily. You want to, you just want to let everything out but you can't. You can’t tell him what actually happened.

He can tell that you’re about to refuse, telling him that there's nothing to talk about but he won't let you go, not again.

Stepping closer to you, he lets go of your hand, instead he brushes your wet hair out of your face, wiping your tears away, his touch is so soft, so warm and comforting.

Cupping your cheeks, he tilts your head up so you look him in the eyes.

“I’m here okay? You can talk to me o-or if that’s not what you want then we can just hang out, we can listen to some music or just drive around like we did last year?” he suggests as he looks at you with hopeful eyes “we can do whatever you want, whatever helps you feel better but taking that shit won't help darling, it won't numb the pain it'll just make everything worse for you and I don’t what for you.”

Furrowing your brows, you stare at him for the longest time, your eyes boring into his. He rubs your cheek with his thumb as he waits for you to say something.

“I-I don’t want to numb the pain, I just- I just want to sleep-” you trail off. Sighing as you notice the confused expression on his face “I want to sleep and not dream about anything.”

Realization dawns on his face.

Nightmares.

“Every goddamn night, I-I get these horrible dreams and I can’t do it anymore, Eddie. I feel like I’m going insane.” your voice cracks, closing your eyes you look down as you feel yourself beginning to cry again.

“Oh y/n.” Eddie breaths, pulling you into his arms, he hugs you close to his chest, rubbing your back with his left hand, his right hand goes to cup the back of your head as he kisses the top of your head “it’s okay, I got you sweetheart.” he whispers as he listens to your cries.

Wrapping your arms around him, you cling to him, holding him tightly as you cry into his chest.

“I got you.” he whispers, over and over again.

Your clothes are still wet, cold on your body as they stick to your skin uncomfortably but right in this moment you feel warm, safe and secure.��

You feel comfortable in his arms.

“Let me help you.” he whispers as calm down after a while.

“H-How?”

“Stay with me tonight, you can sleep here and I’ll watch over you, I’ll wake you up if anything happens.”

Your eyes soften at his suggestion “I’d like that.”

A smile tugs at his lips, his eyes lighting up. Leaning in, he kisses your forehead softly “come on.” he whispers, taking your hand in his, he leads you into his bedroom.

Eddie gave you his favorite shirt to wear, his sacred Black Sabbath shirt. Sitting on his bed, you look around the room, nothing has changed since the last time you were here.

Your eyes fall on a piece of paper laying on top of one of his books on his desk. You don’t need to move closer to recognize your handwriting but you get up anyways, picking up the piece of paper, you unfold it fully, it was the note you gave him when the two of you were assigned as partners during history class, last year.

You were too nervous to speak to him, so you wrote him a little note and slid it over to him.

Wanna study at my place tonight? 7pm?

- Y/n

It was nothing special, a simple little note. Just a piece of paper but he kept it.

Because you gave it to him.

The thought of him keeping something so small from you made your heart flutter.

“I made you hot chocolate.” Eddie says as he comes back into his room “the best hot chocolate of Hawkins.” he adds.

Putting the note down, you turn around to find him staring at you. A soft look in his eyes, his cheeks flushed as he looks at you.

The butterflies flutter in his stomach, his heart skips a beat. Standing there in the middle of his room with just his shirt on; you are the prettiest girl to him.

Walking towards him, you smile nervously as your eyes lock “can I try?” you ask, your eyes flicker to his lips for a second.

“W-What?”

“The best hot chocolate of Hawkins.” you whisper, making him chuckle.

“Of course, doll.” he chuckles, smiling at you.

He hands you the mug. Your fingers brush his as you take it from him. You smile softly unaware that such a small action from you is enough to make him weak in the knees.

He loves you. He loves you so much that it hurt when he couldn't be next to you.

“Oh wow.” you mumble after taking a sip of the sweet beverage “that really is the best hot chocolate.” you say making him smile.

“Told you so.” he shrugs with a smirk on his face.

You chuckle, taking another sip before you put the mug down on his table, next to the note. Turning around again, you stare at him for the longest time, eyeing soft expression on his face.

You missed him so much.

You just want to throw your arms around him and never let go again and without a second thought you step closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, you lean your head against his chest “I miss you, Eddie.”

“I miss you too, y/n, like crazy.” he whispers as you wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly against him. He longed for this, for you in his arms and now you were finally here, with him.

Looking up at him, your eyes lock, you can’t stop the guilty feeling that creeps up in you. You pushed him away even though you never wanted to but you didn't want him to see you this way, you didn't want to be a burden on him but now as you look into his eyes, you know he would never think of you as that; a burden.

He cares for you, deeply. You can feel it and you can see it in his eyes. Even when he was just staring at you from afar.

You always felt it.

Your hands move up to his neck, standing on your tippy toes, you stare at him for the longest time, just gazing into his eyes.

His hands cup your cheeks softly “y/n” he whispers as he leans in closer, his lips almost touching yours now.

You close the gap between the two of you and press your lips against his as your eyes close.

His eyes flutter close. his heart skips a beat at the feeling of your lips against his. Pulling you in even closer, he kisses you back with all the love he has for you.

The kiss is soft yet passionate. Filled with raw emotions and it just feels right, it feels perfect.

You feel safe in his embrace.

At home.

Right at this moment, you know, that as long as you have him, nothing and no one can hurt you.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson angst #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things angst #stranger things fluff

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imagines-babes · 10 months

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Sleep Well (Foolish)

Hello everyone, sorry for this being ‘late’ but I found out something that is happening in my personal life. So maybe there will be sad story next time. Anyways. Thank you for 87 followers. I do appreciate so so much. This week story is Foolish. The song is sleep well by d4vd. I hope you enjoy.

Foolish_gamers list Masterlist

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Talking to someone random on the internet can lead to many things. Good or Bad. You never know what is gonna happen. Maybe you are talking to some old guy maybe you are talking to genuine person. Or you are just talking to a boy. No matter what you never know what's on the other side. But with all odd I tried a website to text to a random person. So I took those odds and I texted a name online that is Foolish. He is 24. He from the state of Ohio. He played sports. Nothing else. He never told about work life. I never talked about mine. He never gave me his real name. I used a fake name aswell so I messaged him everyday in the app then gave each other our numbers. Then on the rest was just a guessing game of how we would meet. The message only do so much till he insists on calling me that night. That was more than I needed. The first time we called on the phone. He told me that he will call that night so I stayed by my phone. Trying to ease the anxiety I had with a movie. So I waited a hour passed then another and another. I just watched the movie not wanting to think of it till my phone rang. It was him. Taking in a breathe answering with an hello. When I heard his voice it wasn't how I imagined it. Not in a bad way I swear. His voice was noice. Honestly I could fall asleep to his words. He spoke clear. With a ramble sometimes. Going off to different subjects then back to the main topic. His laugh is my favorite. When we ended that call looking at phone just giving a smile. The call help me realize how deep in love with him.

After months, he was real. The person I talked to through a phone is real. This will be the first I seen him face to face. Never telling me his name. Never told me how he looked like. He said he was gonna be wearing blue and white lose flannel with black pants. Really hoping for more that that. But also he said he was gonna hold a sign with my name on it. Walking out of the plane I was nervous the more I walk the more it got real for me. Entering the building I found my bags making my way to the front. Looking around for someone matching his description. Within a minute I found him and I was Starstruck. From his hair to his eye to his smile with him holding the sign. All he did was look around and wait for me. This beautiful man was waiting for me. All I did was stare then walked up to him. He watched me walk closer as he started to walk to me with a smile. Standing two steps from each other. 'Hey y/n,' his voice just made me smile as I nod. 'Hey fo-,' he stopped me mid sentence, 'Noah, that my name my real name.' Giving a smile, 'nice to finally see you Noah.'

After that first time of meeting we would see each other once every two months. We never lost touch. He told me what he does and I would watch him ether from my phone or me getting him the food he order. Passing it to him and I sit in the back. I watch him talk to his chat. Watch him react to videos or him just playing games. All I did would stare at him. Chat would notice it happening and would type it out. I leave before he starts to ask me questions about what they are talking about. More and more I fell for him. It's like those he fell first and she fell harder scenario but it's one sided. Now I'm packing to head back home.

Noah

I wanted her to be mine. I waited to long for Yn not be mine right. When I first heard her talk I was scared she wasn't gonna answer or be upset if I didn't call her so I ended my stream early. I stared at my phone. Waiting for the perfect time to call her. When the time was right I did it. She had such a nice voice. Then I got to meet her few months later. She was prettier than I imagined. Now she's in my house. Helping me most times. Bringing me my food when I stream. Talk with my stream. She doesn't know but I notice her stare when I'm busy. Then notice other people in chat comments on it as I smile. I like her. I want to tell her before she leaves tonight. I wanted to tell her on the first time I saw her at the airport. But I never did. So tonight I will.

He ended his stream early as I stay in my room to hear a knock as I open the door. He stood there as a dear to headlights as i tilt my head. ‘Yes Noah?’ He blinked as he gave a soft smile. ‘I was wondering if you want to sleep in my room just for tonight because you will leave tomorrow.’ Now I felt the deer in headlights without know I just nod my head. With that he left. I stayed by the door not know what happened till he called my name. I made my way to his room. His room was neat not messy messy or clean clean just neat. Walking towards his bed as he went to the bathroom. Laying on his bed I just watch the ceiling basically hearing what he was doing in the bathroom. I didn’t know what was gonna happen so I laid on my side. Hearing the light switch go off I felt him going under the blanket. ‘This doesn’t have to be weird right?’ He ask, turning off to look at a glimpse of his face. ‘No why would it be weird?’ Feeling him get closer with his hand touching the side of my body. ‘So this is fine?’ I hummed getting closer to feel his body. His heartbeat were quicken as I give a laugh. There was silence between us. This silence was nice. Till he spoke, ‘the sunrise will be beautiful won’t it y/n?’ (I like you and I don’t want you to leave me) . His body started to relax as soon as he said those words. Giving a smile at those words. ‘I wouldn’t miss it anymore Noah.’ (I like you too and I won’t leave)

#x y/n #twitchstreamer #fanfic #mcyt x y/n #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt foolish #foolish gamers x reader #foolish x reader #foolish smut #foolish x y/n #foolish gamers #dsmp foolish #foolishgamers

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mysterywheeze · 8 days

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what a weekend, huh

I've refrained from using this blog to share my thoughts on the [gestures vaguely] situation for- well, for a few reasons. For one, I haven't been directly involved in the fandom for a while for personal reasons (I will reiterate that I am Mostly Fine). For two, until today we didn't have an official update on the matter. And for three, there's been A LOT of vitriol within the fanbase, so saying anything felt like stepping into a minefield.

Point three still stands. But what the hell? I've thrown my thoughts into worse rings.

My opinions on the whole fiasco can be summed up in four points.

ONE: Their initial plan was bad, and the way they announced it was even worse.

I don't think I have to explain why cutting off a large number of low-income and international fans is a shitty thing to do. That the initial treatment of Patreon fans was poor is, I think, similarly self-evident. And not just because we weren't initially given free access to the streaming platform; the abrupt cancellation of WW+ and early access screwed a lot of annual-membership patrons over.

We now have confirmation that Watcher needed a new revenue stream to stay operational, and that the team viewed this change as essentially a last resort to avoid layoffs or worse. We did not get this information in the "Goodbye YouTube" video. The Watcher team could have been upfront from the beginning, but they decided not to be. Instead they hyped up the announcement, even had a countdown, leading us to think that this was a sign of something good, when in reality it was a sign of something dire.

I hope we can all agree that more initial transparency would have significantly improved the audience reaction to the announcement.

TWO: The update/apology video was a good one.

They addressed why they made their decision, admitted to their fuck-up, and changed their plan. That's Owning Up To Your Mistakes 101. What we got was a compromise; they aren't scrapping the streaming service altogether, but they aren't abandoning fans who can't afford it altogether, either. And of course, they've told us that the streaming service is necessary for the survival of the company. Better late than never.

There's still a lot that they need to do before they can fully gain my trust. And I say gain, not regain, because this isn't the first time they've had a business fumble (NOTE: this is not about the HWYD incident). From Patreon rewards coming months late to factual errors in their educational shows, to what I strongly suspect is mismanagement of funds leading to their current financial troubles, they've always had flaws that ought to be addressed.

But it's a start. A good start at that.

THREE: Some fans reacted to the announcement (and to a lesser extent, to the update) in deeply inappropriate ways.

Look, I don't think you have to ~deeply adore~ Steven Lim to be a Watcher fan. I'll admit that, as a diehard Unsolved fan since 2017 who rarely watched Worth It before 2020, Steven's shows appealed to me less than Ryan and Shane's content did. The average viewcounts of Steven's shows compared to Ryan-n-Shane's shows indicates that my preferences are pretty common.

That being said, as someone who isn't particularly enthused about Steven content, I can appreciate the things he's done for Watcher and as a human being. He's always been the guy pushing hardest for Asian-American representation, as Grocery Run, Hidden Narratives, and especially his response to the 2021 tragedy in Atlanta, made very clear.

From years ago to just last week, he's said some poorly-worded and even insensitive things. He's a human. We're prone to doing that.

If you think that it's okay to insult him on a personal level over this weekend's fiasco, to drag up an old mistake he already publicly apologized for, or to make unfounded accusations about his moral character, you are solely mistaken and have some serious maturing to do. If you actually partook in any of those activities, I sincerely hope that you regret your actions and avoid repeating them. And if you're one of those people STILL trying to pin all the blame on Steven, or even calling for his resignation(?!?)... I don't know what to tell you. I really hope you become a kinder person soon.

This also goes for people who started getting personal with the other members of Team Watcher, or with their friends or loved ones outside the company. So what if Sara had an imperfect take? She's not responsible for Watcher's bad decision, and we shouldn't be dragging her into the discourse just because she's married to a guy who did a fuck-up.

And yeah, Shane did a fuck-up. It ain't cute to act like he's an innocent anti-capitalist baby being dragged into this mess by Steven. Same goes for people saying Ryan didn't play a part in this, but over the past few days I've seen way more support for Shane among conspiratorial fans than for Ryan. I'm not going to act like racial bias is the only factor at play here, clearly it's more complex than that, but making up conspiracies to protect your white fave while scapegoating the outspoken-against-racism Asian guy... it's not a good look. You have to realize that and evaluate your biases.

FOUR: The backlash to the backlash has become excessive and unhelpful.

I get it. When people are being dicks online, it's natural to speak out against it. And boy howdy, were some people being dicks this weekend. Emphasis on the some.

Yes, there's been a lot of mean-spirited, unconstructive hate sent Watcher's way over the past few days. There's also been an incredibly large volume of constructive criticism from all corners of the fandom. Some of it's been discussed between fans, some of it's been shared directly with Team Watcher. It doesn't stick in your mind as strongly as blatant hate does, but I can assure you, it's there.

And in the effort to defend Watcher against that hate, a lot of you have made it really hard for good-faith criticism to be heard.

Seriously, every time I see someone on the Wiscord politely criticize one of Watcher's decisions, they're immediately shut down by a fellow fan. Same thing happened to me in an unofficial fan server earlier today. My good-faith critique wasn't as important as the fact that some asshole could hypothetically make a similar argument in bad faith. Any attempt at a calm, reasoned discussion of Watcher's issues as a company gets drowned out with blind positivity.

Let me make my stance crystal clear: people are allowed to be upset about things that they aren't being forced at gunpoint to pay for. That's like, the the basis of media criticism. "You don't HAVE to pay for it so you shouldn't complain about it" is not an argument that should be taken seriously here on Al Gore's internet.

There's also been a lot of disingenuous use of the "don't you believe artists should get paid?" argument, because yes I do, and yes they have been getting paid. By thousands of people at once - far more supporters than most working artists receive in a lifetime. I personally have been supporting them financially since January of 2020, literally since day one. Watcher's situation evidently isn't ideal, but as far as independent creators go they're pretty darn privileged to have the following they have.

And if you think that Team Watcher has actually totally been doing the right thing all along, then you're wrong. The guys at Watcher themselves admitted that. If they really are the bastions of honesty you're convinced they are, you'll accept that. Above all, the changes they announced today are not proof that "the bullies won". If the bullies won, there would be no streaming service. What happened was a compromise, and the assholes in this fandom didn't want a compromise.

Look, I know you guys. I remember the old days, when we weren't afraid to provide feedback to Watcher when they fucked up, and over much smaller fumbles than this recent one. I know we've all put a lot of money and time into this company and the people behind it. The sunk-cost fallacy is a very powerful thing. But please don't let your hatred for bullies and love for the boys completely blind you to valid criticism. You can't entirely shield them from growing pains if what you want for them is real growth.

FIVE: This isn't a real point in the list I just had to separate my closing thoughts from the rest of the essay I accidentally wrote. Whoops.

The other day, I saw somebody (can't recall their handle, sorry) describe some fan reactions to Friday's announcement as "post-divorce honesty". It's far from the only comparison to a breakup I've seen. That phrase has been ringing in my head for a while now. Because this situation has made a lot of people reevaluate what they like about Watcher, why they became a fan in the first place, and if it's worth sticking around.

Watcher made a mistake. One that they could walk back but can't undo. Their reputation is never going to be the same as it was before. Likewise, a lot of fans said things that can't be taken back, and now that's tied to their reputation in our community. I can't blame anyone for feeling uneasy right now.

Hm. When I started writing this, I had an actual ending in mind. I don't know where that went.

Maybe that's the note I end this massive ramble on? Watcher's future is uncertain, the community's future is uncertain, so I'm uncertain about the last part of this post...? Agh. There's a reason why I'm more of a fiction writer than an essayist. It's getting late, I've got stuff to do tomorrow, and my browser's beginning to slow down from the sheer weight of my draft being open for so long.

Just... try to take it easy on each other, okay? It's been a hell of a week, and we haven't even finished Monday yet.

#watcher #ryan bergara #steven lim #shane madej #good lord. we all gotta sleep.

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redflagshipwriter · 2 months

Text

Reassembly 5

Masterpost

(What the frick is the bat guy about???)

They did serious damage to Lexy’s credit card in the form of a cast iron pan, a pot, basic cooking utensils and a four-person set of dishware before they even made it to the grocery store.

Peter tried not to go nuts there. He really did. But Kon had that empty kitchen! And to be honest, shopping was major wish fulfillment. Even though he knew he wouldn’t be eating all of the food he got way into it. They stocked up on easy freezer food like pizza rolls and fries. They got pasta mixes and jarred sauces and they got snacks and sweets. He even got Kon baking basics. It might take Kon a while to get into his fresh bread era, but it was going to happen. Peter was calling it now. Kon was just that kind of guy.

The last thing he got was meat. Meat and cheese and fresh vegetables. Peter ended up putting back half of what he initially put in the cart because, honestly, Kon didn’t have a massive super appetite and he didn’t know how to cook yet. Vegetables were just going to go bad, so he only got what he planned to use that night. He also stocked Kon up on breakfast supplies- bread and jam, eggs, sausage, coffee and tea and juice.

‘I wish I was staying with Kon to eat this. I’m going to be hungry again tomorrow.’

Peter pushed down that greedy little thought where it belonged. He was going to be eating lunch and dinner with Kon tonight, since they were cooking together. That was already really generous on Kon’s part. He couldn’t ask for more.

The boys ended up making spaghetti. Peter wasn’t the best cook in the world, but he could cut onion and garlic to cook meat in, shred in carrots and zucchini, and add a jar of red sauce to make something nutritionally dense that tasted really good. Kon hovered over his shoulder watching this process and making faux sports commentary.

“Go away!” Peter shoved Kon with his shoulder, laughing. “Go start the garlic bread.”

“...Garlic bread?” Kon asked hopefully. He seemed way younger than he was sometimes. “You can make that at home?”

“You can, if you get to cutting garlic really small.” Peter tossed him a bulb without looking.

They ate dinner while watching some drama that Kon picked out on a streaming service. “Holy shit,” Kon said quietly after his first bite. He put down the plate and took a photo.

Peter snorted. Kon must have sent it to someone because his phone went off constantly after that.

He wasn’t even done eating their late lunch when he first wondered where he was going to sleep tonight. Peter stared down into his pasta like it might have some answers. When should he leave? What would he say if Kon asked for his phone number? He didn’t have one. He couldn’t give Kon the number to the phone he had on him– he was pretty sure that he really should get rid of it in case someone was tracking him.

He should ask first. If he directed the conversation it would be easier to be normal than if he was just answering questions. So Peter swallowed hard, made himself smile, and said, “This was fun. Wanna hang out again?”

Kon noisily slurped down some sauce and wiggled in place while he chewed and swallowed. “Yeah, we should!” he agreed. “You uh, free later this week?”

He was jobless and homeless with no other acquaintances.

“I have some time,” Peter said casually. “I’m kinda busy tomorrow, but the day after? Should I come over in the afternoon?”

“Yeah!” Kon bounced up off his seat for a moment. “We can finish the projects. Or work on them, at least.” He screwed his face up with a thought. “Can I get your handle or number, in case my work pops up?”

Peter’s smile turned fixed. “Actually, not now,” he said as casually as he could manage. “I dropped my phone in water. I just have my Dad’s old phone right now for emergencies.” He didn’t need to add that lie, but what if he needed to pull out the flip phone later? He didn’t want Kon to think that he just hadn’t wanted to give his number.

Kon laughed. “That sucks, man,” he empathized.

Oh thank Thor, he bought it.

The fabric was dry by then, so Peter helped Kon cut it out and sew it into place. Kon modeled his new look in the living room and then took approximately two hundred selfies while Peter worked on his project. Kon eventually flopped down on the sofa upside down and started sketching out design ideas. Peter glanced over and saw what looked like a boob window cut into some kind of top.

…Kon would look great in it. Peter didn’t comment. He smiled a little more when he went back to cutting out pieces for his own jacket.

“Smile!”

Peter looked over on reflex and cheesed. A shutter went off. “Can I send that to my friends?” Kon asked, so casually that Peter knew it mattered a lot. “Cassie says no way did I meet someone without her.”

“Go ahead.” Peter gave a thumbs up for reasons even he did not understand. Good thing he wasn’t a weird little guy!

Kon looked relieved. There was less tension when he went back to looking at his phone. “Thanks, man. You want to think about dinner soon? You’ve been working for a couple of hours.”

Peter had to blink a few times to process that. Oh yeah, he was pretty stiff. He stretched experimentally. “You’re right,” he said, mildly surprised. “Huh. What did you have in mind?”

Kon shrugged. “Pizza?”

Peter hummed. “We can pull that off,” he decided. “We have… two more jars of marinara, one will do. Cheese, the bell peppers- yeah, that’ll work.” He stood in a smooth movement. “Could you get the flour down from where we put it- yeah, thanks.” Kon hovered back down and handed him the bag.

“I meant that we should order it,” Kon said, but he didn’t protest. “You can make pizza? At home?” He was delighted by this new information.

“You can make basically anything at home,” Peter said, because it apparently needed to be said. “Can you look up a pizza dough recipe?” He got out the salt and tried to remember where he’d put yeast.

Pizza did not go quite as smoothly as the pasta had. Kon brutalized the dough by over mixing it and the gluten developed bonds strong enough to rival the Hulk. But it was still edible! Kon was openly delighted with what he had made. Peter stole sideways glances at him, wondering if he should reassure that it was a great first try.

‘..I’m not sure he knows that it’s really tough,’ Peter decided. He said nothing. They watched one episode of Kon’s selected drama before Peter decided it was time to go.

Kon seemed surprised when Peter said that. He blinked at him a few times. “It felt like I was at the tow- a sleepover,” he said self consciously. He forced a laugh. “Yeah. You wanna leave your stuff here?”

Peter looked around Kon’s surgically clean living room and wondered if Lexy’s cleaning staff would throw away his stuff. “Yeah, sure,” he said, because it wasn’t like he had a place to store a project. “I appreciate that.”

He left not much later, making his excuses and backing out into the night with dread that he didn’t want to face curling in his gut. The feeling intensified as he got down to the lobby of Kon’s apartment building.

It was dark out, even with the streetlights on. The air was cold against his face. Peter huddled into his jacket, hand wound tightly around the strap of the bag with everything he owned in it.

At least he knew the time. It was a little past 10 pm.

He needed a shower and to sleep. The gym should be empty now. He could break back in, shower, and then go sleep on the library couch again. Even if the librarian came in early again, he could get a few hours of sleep.

He woke up again to the sound of keys in the door downstairs. This time he woke up feeling much better rested. Peter wandered blearily until he found a clocktower and realized it was nearly 9 am. Nice. He was working on his sleep debt, then. He surely hadn’t spent more than an hour between traveling to the gym, showering, and getting to the couch last night. That was maybe 9.5, 10 hours of sleep?

He left to a new hotel for a breakfast buffet. This one was particularly sad. He had two pieces of peanut butter toast and a glass of milk before he heard the front door staff quietly phone someone else asking if they had any teenagers staying at the moment. He left pretty quickly after that and walked for a while, heart pounding. The police didn’t descend on him with sirens and lights, so he was probably okay.

‘I can’t go back there.’

Later that day, Peter grimaced and took a moment to indulge in burying his face in his hands. He was overwhelmed and he still felt shitty and dirty and gross despite his shower. Maybe it was getting spotted as a homeless teen eating from the buffet? Yeah. Probably that.

He was in the library again, sitting in front of one of the older computers and hoping he'd get a reply from a potential client who had asked for some information.

Maybe it was a little weird to spend all day in the library. He was on notice for librarians acting like they wanted him to clear out, just in case.

But, assuming no one had any problems with it, why not spend most of his daylight hours there? He could study computer science, use the computers to do his work, and be somewhere temperature controlled for free. They also had pitchers of coffee and tea for free that he took advantage of.

He was hungry, though. He was always hungry. Maybe it had been a mistake to go to Kon’s house. It almost felt worse to be hungry again after eating everything he wanted two meals in a row. Peter suppressed despair. He was doing his best! He was taking care of himself.

"Is everything alright?"

Peter shot up and gave a sheepish grin to the librarian. He hadn't noticed her approaching, but he'd been lost in his head. "It's fine," he said.

The older woman gave him a sympathetic smile. "Well, let me know if there's anything I can help with. It's what I'm here for."

Oh. Before she could turn away he blurted out, "College!"

Her face lit up. "Are you applying?"

"I need to." Peter wrung his hands together. "But I don't know where to start. I want to go somewhere with a strong sciences program but I think I need to go there on scholarship."

She sat down beside him, an easy smile on her face like this was a topic that she enjoyed. “Do you care about where it is?”

Peter shook his head. “It would be best if I could stay in NYC since I know here, but I’m willing to go anywhere that meets those conditions.”

She nodded slowly. “There’s a few places I can think of.” She hesitated. “Do you expect to be eligible for testing related scholarships?”

“Yeah,” said Peter, who was so good at tests but would probably falsify the results that he needed if he didn’t manage to take tests in time. “I test well. Very well.”

“That’s great! And you said sciences? Technological sciences?” she didn’t glance at his current computer science book, but she didn’t have to.

“Yes,” he said, not entirely sure what he should be focusing on. Engineering, to build some kind of portal? Astrophysics like Dr. Foster, to find an Einstein-Rosen bridge? He’d have to get his foot in the door to figure out what was going on in the fields here. Shit, he should have looked into that already.

“And you would be looking to live by yourself, on campus? Or off? With family?”

“By myself,” Peter said, and wow that was depressing. “And whichever way is cheapest.” He cringed as he said it. That felt pathetic too. He wanted to say he wanted to live on campus since he’d be more likely to meet people that way. But honestly, he had no resources, at all. He couldn’t afford to be picky.

The librarian’s smile was a bit fixed now. “I… I almost hate to suggest it, but have you considered Gotham?” She continued before Peter had to decide whether or not he should admit he didn’t know that university. “It’s a dangerous city to live in, but it’s very affordable, and there’s extensive funding for the sciences and student support services.”

“...Because it’s a dangerous city and doesn’t get many people?” Peter confirmed.

She was doing her best to keep a poker face. “That’s right. They have a brain drain situation at the moment, so the sciences are really well funded. I think you could probably go there with full support, though that might be contingent on taking an internship or job in Gotham after graduation.”

Huh. He considered it. He’d never heard of Gotham, so it had to be a city that didn’t exist back home. But so what? How bad could it be? It was like, Chicago or something? He could handle that. He was Spiderman. He was an Avenger, sort of. So he directed a real smile at the librarian. “If I could get a full scholarship there, I would go in a heartbeat,” Peter said. “Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll look into the university there.”

The librarian patted the side of his chair as she stood up. “Wonderful! Let me know if you change your mind or have any questions!”

He ended up having a lot of questions, actually, once he started looking into Gotham, but he didn’t think, “What the frick is the vampire bat guy about?” was what she’d had in mind.

#red reassembly #marvel dc crossover #kon el kent #peter parker #dark matter inspired

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