#but i feel like i would just be adding

[twistys]

meredith  +  the  plane  aftermath  ,  re  :  lexie  grey.

it  has  taken  me  a  long  time  (  over  a  year  at  this  point  )  to  properly  collect  my  thoughts  on  this  topic.  primarily  because  my  thoughts  on  how  meredith  copes  with  this  are  everchanging  &  as  a  result  ,  this  is  subject  to  change.  however  ,  one  thing  that  has  not  changed  is  that  this  all  boils  down  to  is  the  fact  meredith  compartmentalises.

meredith  was  the  first  out  of  the  plane  crash  victims  to  go  back  to  “normal”.  this  was  largely  due  to  the  fact  she  came  out  of  the  crash  with  minimal  injuries.  this  allowed  her  to  go  back  to  work  almost  immediately.  she  became  an  attending  while  derek  ,  cristina  ,  &  arizona  were  all  recovering.  this  does  not  mean  that  just  because  she  went  back  to  work  that  she  should  have  worked  ,  or  that  she  was  not  hurting.  but  burying  herself  in  her  work  ?  it  was  her  way  of  coping.  because  if  she  wasn’t  busy  ,  she  wouldn’t  be  distracted.  then  her  mind  would  go  back  to  it  all.

meredith  does  not  bring  up  lexie  casually  until  episode  9x05  ,  where  she  seemingly  accepts  that  lexie  is  dead.  just  because  she  does  accept  it  does  not  mean  she  is  healed.  it  is  a  step  towards  healing.  meredith  never  gets  over  lexie’s  death.  that  is  also  a  constant  in  her  life.

she  finds  herself  feeling  guilt  over  this  idea  that  she  wasn’t  there  for  lexie.  lexie  was  alive  when  meredith  woke  up  from  the  crash  &  meredith  went  to  find  derek.  but  when  meredith  comes  back  ,  lexie  has  already  died.  meredith  never  got  to  say  goodbye.  she  never  got  to  comfort  lexie  in  her  final  moments.  meredith  feels  so  guilty  that  it  keeps  her  up  at  night.  the  first  few  nights  after  the  crash  ,  meredith  had  dreams  of  lexie.  she  would  lose  sleep  &  instead  of  telling  anyone  ,  she  would  stay  up  or  go  back  to  the  hospital  to  work.  i  imagine  derek  talks  to  her  about  seeing  someone  (  outside  of  mandated  therapy  )  ,  but  after  meredith  completes  her  mandated  therapy  ,  she  does  not  return.

her  relationship  with  thatcher  further  sours  after  lexie’s  funeral.  this  was  confirmed  in  episode  15x11.  i  agree  with  this  sentiment.  thatcher  led  meredith  on  in  a  moment  of  vulnerability.  meredith  respected  that  he  lost  a  daughter  &  he  needed  to  grieve.  however  ,  meredith  needed  a  parent.

meredith  misses  lexie  everyday.  there  is  not  a  day  that  goes  by  where  meredith  doesn’t  miss  her.  but  there  is  a  lot  of  compartmentalising  when  it  comes  to  lexie’s  death.  she  saw  lexie  crushed  under  a  plane  &  it  is  the  last  thing  she  saw  of  her  sister.  she  tries  to  remember  the  lexie  before  the  crash  ,  though.  the  lexie  that  was  bright  &  sunny  ,  that  drinks  juice  boxes  ,  that  loved  zola  like  her  own  ...  the  lexie  who  taught  her  that  biological  family  can  be  more  than  just  anger  &  hurt.

she  cries  for  lexie.  a  lot.  

every  year  on  lexie’s  death  anniversary  ,  meredith  takes  the  day  off.  goes  to  her  grave  &  talks  to  her.  she’ll  usually  bring  lunch  --  one  of  lexie’s  favorite  meals.  she  stays  away  from  the  hospital  &  makes  sure  lexie  knows  that  meredith  is  always  thinking  about  her.

#ii. dark & twisty / you are the sun. ≫ study. #death cw #plane crash cw #long post cw #as i said subject to change #but i feel like i would just be adding #when these are really the main points i wanna get across

[buggachat]

honestly just in general it's very exhausting to try to analyze media that is literally meant to be analyzed, only for the replies to be filled with people arguing not against your analysis, but against the premise that the media can be analyzed at all.

i don't even know what to say about it without starting to really betray my frustration, so i'll just settle with— just don't engage with analysis posts? I'm serious. if you're typing a response to a media analysis post, reread what you've written and ask yourself "is this comment/response against the very concept of analyzing the media at all?" and if the answer is yes then delete it all and go sit in the shame corner. throw your curtains away if you want to so bad and stop telling me that I'm not allowed to hum and haw at the fact mine are blue

#ml fandom salt #I suppose #and no amount of adding ''stop telling me to not analyze the media'' on my analysis posts stops people from saying it anyway #and yes. the leaks count. stop telling me that the existence of outdated leaks invalidates all analyses of the completed material #and no. just like every other time i've said this. me saying that i don't care about the leaks is not an invitation for you to try to #convince me to care about the leaks #do i tag this spoilers? it feels weird to. i mean this to be a vague overarching thing about media in general #also of course any ''or maybe the writers are just bad'' arguments ALSO are included in this. YOU guys have been my bane since FOREVER #would you guys consider commenting on fanart with ''umm.... drawing seems pretty pointless lmao'' rude? #i know this is not the first time i've made a post like this and i'm sure it won't be the last

[weewoow-20706030]

Jason and Tim: *literally the most traumatic experience known to man, one that changes how anyone would look at them (e.g. Jason digging himself out of his own grave or Tim blowing up the leagues bases)*

Dick *absolutely mortified*: and you didn't tell me earlier because...?

Jason/Tim: idk, it never came up.

Dick: that's something you bring up!

#I wouldve added Damian in with Jason and Tim but I feel like he wouldnt drop it casually in conversation #he would drop it randomly in a spoken report #and Dick would have to just be like: hold up #bring it back #as if he isnt just as bad #Bruce dyes his hair every morning #he went grey years ago #batfam #batboys #batbros #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #red hood #red robin #robin #damian wayne #(he is in the tags. therefore it counts) #bruce wayne #batman #(also in the tags) #dc #dcu #batgang #batkids #batfam shenanigans

[the-shrimp-alchemist]

Anyone else think Ed and Ling should've been a little more. I dunno. Drenched in blood during this arc? :)c (for the sake of the blood showing up on their dark clothing let's just say there's So Much Of It)

I didn't draw this for October 3rd btw, but now's as good a day to post as any!

Bonus, by the time they emerge:

dramatic reveal ruined, more at 11

#fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #fmab #edward elric #ling yao #alphonse elric #i looove drawing blood personally it's just really fun idk #shrimp art #comic #as it were #actually started this months ago but there were a few details i needed to fix before posting #but i procrastinated on them and. forgot. this piece existed for a while lol #i would have added al hugging ed and getting a vaguely ed-shaped bloodprint all over his armor #but i'm kinda sick and i don't feel like drawing him #sorry al you're just very complex #cw blood

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance - Traverse Town

#kingdom hearts dream drop distance #khddd #traverse town #scenery #my gif #trying my hand at giffing the worlds of this game despite the lack of a first person view (something i'm very upset about) #so i have to obtain and edit these shots in a very awkward manner #all while constantly being shoved around by my dream eaters #i'm so serious when i say making this set was really really frustrating lol #i can't find a free roaming camera mod or anything else that would be helpful for me #but i'll keep at it because i love looking at still shots of video game environments #and being able to share it with other people who enjoy it too #ANYWAYS traverse town is so beautiful in this game they added so many gorgeous areas with pretty glowing lights #i like the wacky whimsical mail room too and how there's this entire secret workshop hidden beneath that weird mailbox haha #the world really does feel magical and dreamy especially with its updated music #just realized the stars in the first gif are moving which is strange

[stairset]

I do think probably for me the biggest takeaway from both Mando season 3 and Ahsoka is that the Disney+ shows desperately need to abandon the stupid ass 8-episode format already cause both shows feel like they're trying to do so much and just don't have the time to properly flesh it all out which results in some great setups with some pretty underwhelming payoffs. And really this applies to like every streaming service period like at this point I'm just so fucking sick of TV seasons that are less than 10 episodes long. Like we seriously need to go back to the days when serialized action shows had 13 episodes per season at the bare minimum I'm not kidding.

#i think my biggest problem with the ahsoka season finale is it feels like a mid-season finale #y'know it feels like the middle of the season where they take a break for a few months before airing the second half #but no it's just the end and we'll presumably have to wait a year or two before the second season #like all the underdeveloped and underutilized aspects of both shows could easily be solved if you just fucking added 5 more episodes #sure it would take longer for the show to come out but i'd be willing to pay that price #star wars #shut up tristan

[moeblob]

Happy Birthday to Ferdinand von Aegir!

I actually made 33 emotes, affectionately known as Aegirglyphics to some, for my own personal use on discord. However, I figure why not share some of them! They're free to use for discord servers/icons/pfps or whatever. However, my only request is Do NOT use them as subscriber emotes on Twitch. You can make them free follower emotes but you are not to make them locked behind a paywall.

#fe three houses #ferdinand von aegir #discord emotes #i thought long and hard about this bc idk the actual want for emotes i made ages ago but #i still love my son and its his bday ad so i should be nice and share #since i no longer have nitro and can no longer use them myself #the fact i can technically post 30 at once was tempting but #some of them arent living up to my standards and also just might not be easy to use in most contexts #so those im gonna skip on lol #whoever wants 21 aegirglyphics tho have at em #i think i might have posted some before? but only 10 and i dont recall which ones #if you want a secret the last three and the middle on the second row are my favorites to use #i used concernednand (the upper one) so much #the internet concerns me guys it was a valid use every time #debated sharing heartnand but honestly the world could benefit from it imo because gotta spread that love #fun lil trivia i love making emotes and so when i was in a server and people knew me as the ferdinand fan and artist #someone was like why hasnt salmon made a ferdinand emote yet #and im like bc i dont run the server and i cant just demand they add my art #and then a mod was like i didnt wanna put pressure on salmon but i thought about it so i was like bet #and then drew a server exclusive happy ferdinand emote #and that was the start of me somehow being able to have like.... ten emotes in that server #some of them were just me joking and then mods encouraging me #cause i used to use felix for every single art prompt theyd give and one week someone said the prompt was pog #and i just was so upset because dude why would i wanna draw felix for that hes not pog #so a mod was like hey if you make a pog felix emote we ill add it to the emotes here #so i once again was like bet and then posted it and then they really added it lmao #anyway sorry for so many rambles please feel free to use them on discord in whatever server #i cant really expect everyone to credit me but also im not really concerned since i fear people know my nands a mile away

[definitely-jax]

#danny phantom #dp #dp fanart #danny phantom fanart #danny fenton #cujo and danny #dp cujo #medibang #an improvement on the last post #thought his room didnt look lived in enough #so i added some stuff #still feel like theres more that could be added so i might revist later #would also love to add some blob ghosts as an alt version #eventually #just experimenting #and having fun #also danny would absolutely have the glow in the dark ceiling stars #hes suck a nerd #hed probably arrange them into actual constellations #(not pictured here tho) #trans danny phantom #trans danny fenton #trans danny hc

[rozecrest]

i've been slowly making a letterboxd list of movies referenced on friends at the table episodes and it hit fifty movies today (many more to go-- i haven't nearly finished browsing through pzn and sgf for movie mentions) so i thought i would share it on here for those interested!

i would not have gotten this far without search at the table (fatt.fish) or transcripts at the table i am eternally grateful to them 🙏

#if there's a movie referenced that's not on here feel free to let me know!! my main strat has been searching fatt.fish when i have time and #adding as i listen and relisten to episodes and i'm sure I've missed some references that i just didn't know where directly about a movie t #at i havent seen. i've only seen like a fifth of this list and would like to see them all eventually... #friends at the table

[yuhi-san]

I’ve seen a few posts pointing out how stampede vash lacks the anger that 98 and especially trimax vash has. Which is true.

And it is important. Because vash isn’t the too morally strong or good or kind to be angry or whatever. Vash has a lot of rage about a lot of things. he chooses to be kind despite it rather than not being angry at all.

His sheer determination to not give into anger and choosing kindness over and over again is very important to who he is.

(personally I think that while tristamp vash went through a lot already too, he simply has not quite reached that point)

What I haven’t really seen are post pointing out that stampede vash, unlike 98 and trimax vash, does not cry.

Vash cries a lot. Some of it is for the comedy and because he is dramatic like that and also he isn’t above trying to get pity that way (with little success lol).

But he also cries a lot just… because. I don’t know how to explain it.

Like vash has no shame or inhibition to cry when that’s what he feels. Not gonna lie, I know trimax mostly from spoilers so far (shame on me) but especially in 98 vash cries very freely. He cries when he thinks he will have to watch that ex-mob boss or whatever being shot. Cries after killing, cries after monev kills all these people and he wants to shot him but wont. And so so many more.

Like that time he just suddenly drops his donuts and cries in the middle of the street.

Vash is friendly and sociable on a surface level but he has cut himself off from so much. Keeps so many things on the inside. Crying seems the one thing he doesn’t hold back on. Maybe his only genuine outlet for the pain.

Vash hides his scars, his pain and much more but he never hides his tears.

Vash, in 98 even says ‘is there something wrong with that?’ when the kids note that he is crying despite being an adult.

In contrast to that, stampede vash never really cries. He even states that he doesn’t deserve to.

We see him shed tears just once, at the very end when it becomes clear to him that he can’t save nai and that his brother and him have grown so far apart that he barely recognizes him anymore. He sheds silent tears for nai, for them, at what he certainly believed to be the very end.

Stampede vash is not only a lot more timid than his counterpart but seems overall more repressed and and emotionally dulled/exhausted

#this reminds me that trimax and 98 vash as children would just follow knives around for a looong time with no agency of his own #vash cryinf after dropping the donuts kills me every time #i dont know how to say it but how vashs crying is handles compared to many other protags hits different #it feels more like seeing vash's pain and distress #and less like a visual reminder to the audience that this is a tragic situation #am i making sense? #maybe i am also just a little biased #also adding to this johnny young bosh was so good in that dub #none of the words vor abgestumpft seem quite right hmm #trigun #trimax #tristamp #vash the stampede #trigun 98 #he also tries crocodil tears on meryl but she shot that down when he was barely a sniffle in so there is that lol

[cupidle]

zazie

#trigun #zazie #zazie the beast #taps mic anyone here cares abt zazie. is it crickets. #i’ve been sooo interested in zazie and their lore/significance to the story since reading trimax #i feel like adding another variable to the conflict would have been rly interesting and that variable being the native species #on no mans land would have added more nuance to the story #and there was an attempt to discuss that but nothing rly came of it #cause of THE MENACE OF SOCIETY escaping his damn ward cell #i want more worm involvement #in a story so heavily focused on the survivability of one’s species and abuse of power i just think. looking more in depth at the hosts #of the planet would have been cool. #guy in chair rocking back and forth manically #and i love bugs also #cupidle

[turtledotjpeg]

dumb.......but it appeared in my brain and i had to do it (ﾉ •_•)ﾉ

bonus: wip ft. even less hinged kurapika

#if i were smart i would have made this pixel art 540px wide from the start but alas. i must ask you to click for less blurry #...it's a good thing melody is nice because #ability to infer people's psychological state + power that affects your mind and emotions is a bit ಠ_ಠ ;; #this is admittedly not the best example of kurapika mansplaining i just wanted to redraw the panel of him looking unhinged #but for evidence refer to almost any scene where he talks #hunter x hunter #hxh #kurapika #leorio paladiknight #senritsu #melody hxh #(when i say “pixel art” i feel like i need to qualify that by adding #some parts were cleaned up but a lot of this was just me scribbling around like i normally do but with a pixel brush #and i'm not sure that's quite the same thing lol)

[thatsgonnaleaveamark]

welp this didn't take me nearly as long as i expected it to lol, but here's a letterboxd list containing all movies from the @whumpapedia !

#whump #whumpapedia #took me a few hours i think? the list making enthusiasm definitely took over for a bit lmao #this is cool bc you can add movies to your watchlist/watched list and filter them for different things #its just the movies now and not added info like whump description or character that would be much more work #but if you like one you can just check the whumpapedia sheet for more info #idk what this cover image is lol i feel like its not very fitting #its 833 movies - i went through and i think ive seen 12% from what it tells me

[peachcitt]

text from thirteen by @anna-scribbles

art by me :)

read thirteen read thirteen it’s everything read thirteen read thirteen read thirteen read thirteen<3 happy thirteen day. have you read thirteen yet. read it again if you have. prepare for your life to be changed if you haven’t.

#thirteen #anna #my art #ml art #miraculous ladybug fic #ml fic #adrien agreste #gabriel agreste #emilie agreste #something happened to me last night prior to last night i only had backgrounds because i was really doing everything for them #and then i was like oh fuck i need to kick my ass in gear . thirteen day is tomorrow #and then i proceeded to stay up until FIVE IN THE MORNING adding the characters details and the words #it’s been a while since ive done that. of course anna would be the cause #anyway i am so insane about thirteen. every panel color and detail of this comic holds significance not just to me but also to how i view #this fic. so if you’re wondering if a color means something or if a background detail feels out of place. that’s because im insane and #and it all DOES mean something #anyway. im in a rush i have work in an hour and a half and i have to look after my old band director’s dogs before i go

[napping-sapphic]

Crazy how i’m not being kissed hard enough to forget everyone who has ever hurt me rn

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #ughhhhhhh #so many things i wish i could get out of my head lately #even for just like a second #sometimes life is just a constant mantra of ‘things will get better eventually’ ad infinum #for over ten years #it is not eventually yet and i hate it so so much #STOP letting me think about my feelings on no sleep it sucks #a relationship would NOT fix me #but god sometimes i want to try it anyway #ignore meeeee #im a mess rn #going THROUGH it #with NO kissing too!! #honestly a rude addition on top of everything else smh #im gay and i like sleeping

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

using “we hereby conduct this post mortem” as promotion leading up to the album, from a song where she herself was trying to figure out how it ended, knowing full well everyone was hoping to hear every gruesome detail about how it ended…… genius

#it’s just soooooooooooo #you know. #she’s like well. if i knew i would tell you. but i don’t #idk it’s just so genius #everyone wants to know how it ended and that clamouring for the truth is only adding to the stress she’s feeling #and everybody’s got their ideas……. but what has she got? #it was supposed to be fate. #and like she says in COSOSOM: it just didn’t happen #and that’s how it ended. it just stopped happening. #ttpd #random thoughts with grace