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#but i do think it sorta makes me like writing more?
melanthaeunomia · 2 days
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hiii! i’m new to this blog but i see you’ve got a free week (SO jealous) so i was wonderinggg if you’d be willing to do a leo x fem reader where they’re on a quest/mission or something undercover and have to make out to keep their cover? sorta like that one b99 scene with jake and amy ig😅
"Just to blend in?" -Leo Valdez x Reader (Friends to Lovers?)
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A/N : Hi dear!, thank you so much for your request, to be honest i was kinda procrastinating a bit on writing this but! i just got new nails so i felt the motivation kick in y'know, so sorry if this is a bit late, I like the concept!, but the scene is not really like the B99 cause i thought this would suit the undercover quest more but its sort of the same concept!.
synopsis : (the request sent)
Word count : 1.7k+ (idk why its so long either dont ask me)
Riordan verse Masterlist⚜️
You groaned rolling your head back as the aggravating and irritating music hit your ears, an ogre was playing make believe DJ, you can hear its gruesome nails scratching on the pad. You accompanied Leo on a quest to locate an enchanted item used in antient time to help Forge weapon and armors, Both of you settled in the corner of the night club, You leaned back on one of those wrapped cocktail tables, trying to cover Leo behind you, who was working on a machine in order to locate the said item. "Where in the hell did you get these clothes!" You whined tugging on your unnecessary revealing clothes, "Hey!, It took a lot of energy to charm the store lady, Besides, We're in a nightclub atleast we blend in." He rolled his eyes wiping the sweat building on his forehead with the sleeves of his suit, You scoffed, gaze following a few monsters who danced around with the pitiful drunken humans, Particularly on one Laistrygonian Giant who hovered over a woman his hands dropped down to grip the womans hip, licking his lips with hunger in his eyes You wondered what the humans were seeing, Are the Monsters hot with the mist? (wait we're getting off topic). You nudge leo "Are you done?" You hummed, turning back to face him "Hm?, not yet, just needs a few changes" He fiddled around with the wires on the machine, You turned your head back, Blood turning blue when you noticed the Laistrygonian was looking right back at you as its sharp teeth bit into the drunken woman's neck who was squirming around, everyone around them continued dancing as if it was a normal thing, Your eyes widened as The giant glared at you, and looked at the DJ with a nod
"Leo, Leo!, Hurry up, I think-" You tapped leo's shoulder aggressively keeping an eyecontact with the Giant, "Hold on!, I'm Don-" The music became louder, Covering the stomps of the giant walking over to the both of you with furrowed brows. You hurriedly grabbed leo's sleeve, dragging him away making him stumble over a few people "Hey!" a drunk dude grumbled "Sorry!" leo screeched, You dragged leo over to a corridor which was fortunately empty, The both of you panting "You almost made me drop the machine!" He groaned settling down on the floor breathing heavily, “yeah?, would you rather to have died?” You gently hit him in the head “that was unnecessary” a overly dramatic pout covered his face “yes but it was well deserved.” You rolled your eyes snatching the metal device from his hand, a red blinking button on it "Its somewhere here" He hovered behind you, "I know idiot, Look out for monsters" You waved the machine out in the air to try and get the blinking to stop, "You're doing it wrong!" Leo tried to snatch it away from you "I know how to do-" The both of you fought over who gets to use the machine arms intertwined as he kept trying to snatch it back, Until both of your attention was grabbed by the Giant who was all the way at the end of the corridor "Warning, Tall angry dude is coming here!!" "Thanks for stating the obvious, idiot!!" then the Red button finally settled when the giant was just about to strike "Follow me!" You ran towards the door where the machine was pointing to, leo followed "Lock it hurry!" A loud thud could be heard from outside and the giant muttering to themselves "Where do we go now?" leo asked, inside the room were tons of doors, You waved the machine trying to get signal, a loud tugging on the previous door behind could be heard "Just hide!" You grabbed him shoving him in a random room, The room was dimly lit, stairs going down "This is a bad idea!" "What makes you think theres not more monsters there?" He stammered "Just-" You were thinking of a retort but you knew he was right, You hesitated before shrugging him off. "You're really stubborn y'know, Hey!" Leo groaned yet still followed you down the stairs.
The seemingly old stairs creaked under yours and leo's weight, carefully listening for any hits of a monster nearby, The faint noise of.. moaning? could be heard, growing louder as the both of you walk further down the stairs "What the hell?" You cursed under your breath near a laugh, tugging leo's shirt forcing him to keep a straight face so he doesnt attract attention from whoever was there below. Soon enough You were in a wine cellar, with bunch of drunk and horny teenagers who doesnt look a day over 17, there were 5 pairs of couples all scattered throughout the room practically eating each others faces off, "You've got to be kidding me.." You slammed your face, Leo couldn't help but snicker behind "A make out spot hah!" You glared at him forcing your way into the end of the wine cellar, There was no point in being quiet or sneaky though, all those people there were too busy fulfilling their.. Fantasies... "we should do that sometimes" Leo smirked, making you cough, Cheeks growing red and you turned to look at him trying to keep an intimidating face as leo made his hands do a kissy kiss, You rolled your eyes, cheeks a pinkish hue then you "Accidentally" gave him a quick jab to the stomach "Oh oops" "Owh!" he said clutching his stomach, frowning up at you, You examined the wine cellar trying to find any exit but there was none… or as far as you could tell “theres no exit.” You mumbled checking the gaps of the overfilled shelves if there was a way to get out “The monster is close, we have to hide somewhere.” You gave leo back the machine so he could try and figure out whats wrong with it “adam!..” a girl groaned from across the room followed by a growl of a guy “I swear to hades, I’m actually gonna puke” Leo couldn’t contain his laughter anymore
“Dont be dramati-“ Just like that you were cut off, the both of you could hear a door breaking open from upstairs, it wouldn’t take long for the giant to come to the room, the both of you looked at each other and hurriedly searched every corner of the wine cellar for a hope of escaping “nothing!” Leo mouthed from across the room trying to ignore the couple that had their faces basically attached to eachother “Come here! I think i found something!” you mouthed back and he hurriedly ran right back over to you “i think-“ Then a loud crash from the entrance above could be heard all the way to the room below, somehow didn’t attract the humans in the same room, the both of you looked at each other with a knowing look when the old stairs creaked again, the giant was headed down muttering to himself “tsk tsk tsk.” both of you looked at each other and back at the stairs, and you could see a hint of a musty big foot.. both of your eyes widened could no longer speak, "I have a plan.." You said hesitantly cheeks turning red, You could see the giants hip, revealing more of its body as it goes down
"What is it-" Leo was soon cut of when you pulled him by his tie and softly kissed him, You didn't expect the kiss to be soo... passionate?, You could see his eyes widen but went along with you and kissed you back, a hint of pink in his sunkissed skin, You could smell Leo's cologne up close.. It was so intoxicating(in a good way) You guided leo's hands to your waist trying to make it seem more believable, The both of you were clearly flustered, you just hoped that Leo's cologne was strong enough to hide the scent of the both of you, you tried to to focus back on the monster and trying not to melt into the kiss, from the corner of your eye you could see the giant peaking under the stairs examining the room and hissed "Tsk", Suddenly Leo pushed you back into the wall kissing you in a slow and playful rhythm, You were sure you were gonna explode any minute now from embarrassment "Shh, eyes on me." He whispered before taking another kiss, You couldn't tell what was real and what was not anymore, You thought he wanted you to keep your eyes on his so that the giant doesn't notice, right?, I mean this was your plan.. Why are you so flustered right now??? "Its just for the mission" You think to yourself, a hint of vulnerability in your heart, But you snapped back to reality when you felt his heart beating fast through his suit, he still kept tight grip on your waist, his other hand found its way to cup your cheeks, finally after what felt like minutes the giant finally went away with a huff, so the plan did work!, now it was time to stop kissing right?, But leo still hasn't noticed that the giant was long gone, and was still softly kissing you, You pulled away slowly, Your eyes kept in contact as you pulled away with a breathy gasped "Uhm.." "Ehem.." The both of you were flustered, You pulled away from his grasp acting like noting happened, trying to act busy examining the room again for a way out, but your mind could't help but replay the moment in your head, He cant lie and sat he didn't miss the way your lips parted just to kiss him back. Wait, what are you guys thinking? it was just for the mission, nothing else, no feelings attached, right? "Can we atleast talk about it-" Leo mumbled behind you, cheeks flushed, you tried to ignore him checking the shelves once more before finding a hidden button hidden underneath the off brand wine "It was just to blend in.." You finally answered, remembering the words he spoke to you earlier, still feeling embarrassed, not like you can confess when you're in a life and death situation, but still those words hit like a dagger to his heart, Yours especially, denying your feelings for him, oh if only you knew how whipped this boy was for you, There was a hint of disappointment mixed with embarrassment in the air, You couldn't even hold proper eye contact with him without the memories appearing in your mind, and the smell of his cologne lingered. "C'mon, lets get out of here."
Requests!⚜️ Riordan verse Masterlist⚜️
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thinkingaboutjaedyn · 13 hours
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my heart over yours; part three | j.fleming x reader
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prompt: jessie is determined to keep you away from sasha, but you aren't as keen on that. sasha has her own thoughts about jessie and your friendship.
author notes: this is way more angsty than the previous parts but i swear it's worth it. thank you for all the love on part two 😝💗 tumblr is such a nice place to post. anyways enjoy. again, the fic reads better with the song playing..just saying..
contains: ucla!jessie x reader, childhood bestie!jessie, jealous!jessie, sasha do not like what jeff and you got going on, reader is sorta of a bad gf in this, arguing, slightly messy writing, this part is shorter than the others but technically has a lot, prob the worst chapter by far btw, slightly rushed cliffhanger but idk
playing is there someone else? by the weekend 🎵
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no one speaks as jessie keeps her glance on you. there are a bunch of questions floating around in her eyes. anger and confusion lingering around as well. you look back at jessie, trying to gesture to her to chill out if only for a moment. unfortunately sasha didn't know jessie as well and couldn't tell how badly pissed off the soccer player was. the blonde tries to lighten up the mood, making a joke as she says, "you two couldn't even bring me a donut? wow double betrayal." the joke doesn't land as jessie gives her glare before looking back at you. it's obvious she's waiting for some type of explanation. one that you aren't willing to give in front of the tall blonde in the doorframe.
"c'mon, you still have to change," you say. avoiding the way jessie gives you a look of annoyance. you gesture for sasha to move which the blonde gets, moving to go sit on her bed. you pull jessie by the wrist inside after you. once inside the hotel room you let her go for a moment to put down your half eaten donut before going over to where your luggage is on the floor. the entire time jessie just stays silent, giving sasha a few irritated looks every time she tried to speak which shut the blonde right up, but still silent.
you pull out some simple sweatpants and a t-shirt of yours. turning around to look at jessie. the canadian already knows what you want her to do, putting down her donut before coming over to you to grab the clothes. she leans in, whispering against your ear, "we have to talk." leaning away afterwards to walk into the attached bathroom.
"give us a minute. we'll be out way before the shop closes, promise," you reassure sasha before walking into the bathroom as well. shutting the door behind you. sasha doesn't say a word but her mind is flooded with thoughts of why you're going into the bathroom with your "best friend" to change? it isn't her place to question the closeness between you two, but it's something she tells herself to keep in mind while trying to get you to be more than her project partner.
jessie's leaning against the counter in the bathroom when you come inside. the clothes are sitting on the top of the toilet seat, untouched. "you aren't going to change?" you joke, making jessie scoff. she loves how you always try to lighten the mood, but this isn't the time. she was feeling too frustrated to really think rationally. the canadian says, "don't worry about the clothes. why are you sharing a room with her?"
"because it's cheaper? because i.. can?" you say the last sentence like you are unsure if you really can; technically there's no problem with you sharing a room with sasha. it's just a simple arrangement, you didn't even think about it after booking the hotel. but with the way jessie's looking at you it feels like you just got caught doing something you shouldn't.
your last sentence makes jessie let out a sigh. she doesn't have a right to be feeling so frustrated, she tries to pull back her emotions but she just can't. not when it comes to you. on the pitch, she can keep it under control. when receiving criticism her emotions don't spiral. but when it comes to you, for some reason, her emotions just spill out. when she doesn't speak you move to pull her close. taking her hands into yours, interlocking them as you look at her. having your glance on hers makes jessie finally open her mouth, "it's just.. you hardly know her and you just share a room with her so easily? i could have helped pay for a single room.. you could have come and stayed in my hotel room.."
she trails off, looking away from you for a moment. you could see the conflicted emotions across her face easily. you give her hands a gentle squeeze, letting her know to just say what's on her mind.
"it feels like you're pushing me away. you didn't even tell me you were rooming with her."
"i didn't think it was something to tell you. it's literally nothing, jess."
"but you used to tell me even the small things. the things you thought of as nothing. everything." jessie's voice breaks up a bit while saying that. you rush to pull her into a hug, the freckled woman nuzzles her face into your neck. she tries to push away the tears threatening to spill. your hands naturally rub at her back, comforting her.
"i just want you to treat me like your bestfriend again," she whispers into your skin. hearing her sound so heartbroken makes your heart break. you were meant to be her source of comfort, not the source of her crying. you try to pull away to look at her, but jessie pulls you back into the hug. refusing to let you go.
"i just want to look at you, jess. let me see your face," you say softly. again you try to pull away and you succeed this time. with jessie's hands still on your waist as she looks at you.
you move your hand to wipe away at the tears in her eyes. seeing jessie cry always makes you want to cry; you two's emotions are just too in tune, too connected. jessie leans into your touch. one of her hands letting go of your waist to grab onto your wrist. "don't let go.. don't let me go," she mumbles.
"i'm not letting you go. you're still my bestfriend, i would never push you away," you say softly. in the back of your mind is the thought that jessie and you have been in the bathroom for longer than it would take to change, but you couldn't find it in yourself to care. sasha can wait, the pizza can wait. jessie can't. "you promise?" she asks. you nod before saying, "promise."
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it's thirty minutes later when jessie and you come out of the bathroom. after she had calmed down enough to change into your clothes, you held her for several more minutes before helping the soccer player wipe away the tear strains on her face. jessie may have been open with her emotions around you, but you knew that she would feel embarrassed if sasha knew she cried. you didn't mention how sasha probably already knew with how thin the walls are between the bathroom and the actual hotel room, but jessie's mood was getting better so you weren't going ruin it.
when you two come out, sasha is still sitting on her bed. just scrolling through her phone until she hears the bathroom door opening. she looks up to look at you both. there questions in her eyes, but sasha doesn't say them. instead she says, "are you guys ready to go? i'm pretty sure the pizza shop is open until one am, but i don't feel the safest walking through the streets of san diego anywhere near one."
you let out a soft laugh. shaking your head to agree with her. jessie lets out a small chuckle, nothing noteworthy. you two spoke in the bathroom about how she should be nicer to sasha. she doesn't have to be friends with the woman, just nicer. jessie only agreed for your sake; that doesn't mean she was going to overly enthusiastic when it came to the blonde.
"yeah. we should probably go. i'll get the uber," you say. sasha nods before standing up, grabbing her purse that was beside her. the three of you leave out of the hotel room. while sasha is walking ahead, jessie and you are trailing closely behind. hands interlocked as you two talk quietly. it was a subtle way of isolating sasha that jessie wasn't going to correct. she was nice to sasha, so now she deserves your attention; all of it.
getting from the hotel to the pizza shop didn't take long. the ride there was mostly silent with sasha trying to make some type of conversation, but jessie wasn't having it. giving her short questions until the blonde just stopped trying. you would try to indulge her, but could feel the eyes of jessie burning into the side of your head everytime you turned to talk to sasha, so you just stopped. when the car stopped, jessie got out first then you and finally sasha. the canadian was already pulling you towards the door of the shop, not caring if sasha was right behind you two or not.
"slow down, freckles. the pizza isn't going anywhere," you tease making jessie chuckle and roll her eyes. that joke was enough to make her slow down her pace. allowing sasha to catch up to you two.
"i have been seeing people go to this place all over social media, so hopefully it reaches the standards i set in my mind," sasha says. moving so she could go around jessie and you, grabbing onto the shop door.
"if we're going off smell alone.. this place already checks off some boxes," you pull jessie inside once sasha opens the door. it feels weird that sasha walks in alone after you two while jessie and you walk in together. another subtle way of isolating her that you didn't even realize you were taking part in.
the shop isn't anything fancy. a very simple design with white tile walls, a table or two in the room, a few framed awards about how the shop was one of the best in san diego, and a funny looking mascot that was painted one of the walls. it's cute and inviting. definitely felt like you were stepping right into the 2000's though.
the pizza is amazing. you end up ordering a simple pepperoni pizza and jessie followed suit while sasha orders hawaiian. "that's disgusting," you cringe as the three of you sit in front of the shop. your backs against the building as you sit on crates the shop gave you. jessie lets out a hum of agreement with your statement, with her mouth full of pizza she couldn't really talk. sasha rolls her eyes, nodding in disagree as she takes a bite of her pizza. she lets out a content hum afterwards; over exaggerating it to prove you wrong.
"it's actually amazing. you two just lack taste," sasha says. you roll your eyes before biting into your own pizza. after swallowing you say, "no. i think you're the one lacking tastebuds but continue to lie to yourself."
while sasha and you are bickering, jessie just looks at you two. finishing up her pizza faster than you both. seeing you be so comfortable with sasha puts a pit in jessie's stomach that's definitely not from the pizza. she refrains from butting in, knowing she would just make the conversation way colder than it should be. jessie will stay silent; for your sake.
the chilly air of the san diego night reminds you three that it's actually quite late. your pizza is already cold by the time you pay attention to it again, too focused on debating with sasha. the blonde woman's pizza wasn't doing any better than yours. now cold as well.
jessie checks the time on her phone, seeing 11:30 makes her stand up. she giggles seeing the defeated look on your face at how your pizza turned out. "c'mon. it's late, let's go back to the hotel. i can buy you a new pizza or you can just.. heat that one up again? i don't think hotels have microwaves in rooms but," jessie shrugs, "i could be wrong." you perk up hearing jessie say she would buy you another pizza. you weren't about to eat a half eaten cold slice of pizza, so you nod, accepting her offer.
the canadian doesn't spare sasha a silver of attention. focusing all on you. if sasha is bothered by being ignored, she doesn't say anything. being the second one to stand up, she agrees with jessie, saying, "yeah. let's go before it gets way too late."
you're the last one to stand up. pulling out your own phone to check the time; you didn't realize how late it actually was even with the moon being out. time flies when in good company. "okay, let's go. i'm tired anyways," you support your point with a yawn afterwards. jessie playfully shoving you at the irony of the action. you giggle and slap her arm in response making her let out a soft ow. sasha just stands there, unsure if she could even jump into the playful banter. in the back of her mind she says to herself that it isn't her place, she has no right to be apart of what you and jessie have, but still. it's awkward to just stand here, not joining in.
once you and jessie stop playing around, you two go inside to get you another pizza while sasha stands outside to look out for the uber. you two come out right when the uber pulls up. sasha gets into the car first then you follow and finally jessie. just like on the ride there, it was pretty silent. expect this time around sasha doesn't try to make conversation. too tired to even try. the three of you sit in comfortable silence, too tired from the day and the making the trip from the hotel to here.
the moment you all reach the hotel, jessie pulls you with her towards her hotel room. leaving sasha in the hall as you two walk away. "goodnight," you say loudly enough for the blonde to hear, looking over your shoulder at her for a second before following along with jessie.
again sasha is left alone, left out of the quotation. a way of isolating her away from you both. it's at that moment that she truly realizes how big an issue jessie is going to be when it comes to trying to become your girlfriend.
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sasha and you fly back to la that tuesday. jessie and the national team have left the day before, on monday, to make it to the next friendly that was taking place in texas. you wished you could have traveled with jessie to texas, but unfortunately college gets in the way once again. with you having important classes that you had to attend and also having that big project to turn in with sasha, you just couldn't spend another day away from the confinements of your studies.
after turning in sasha and yours huge project, you two decided to go out for ice cream. with jessie away and busy with training, you had the time to spend with sasha.
you lean back against the bench as the sun beams down on the two of you. sasha convinced you to try rocky road and you're slowly regretting letting the woman sway you earlier.
"this is absolutely disgusting," you groan after taking another lick of the ice cream. sasha laughs loudly before taking a lick of her own ice cream. "tastes perfectly fine to me," she shrugs before enjoying her ice cream some more. you cringe seeing how much she likes it since you hate it; you two's tastes are the complete opposite.
you try to enjoy it, but you just can't. standing up to throw the ice cream away in the trash can near by before coming to sit back down next to sasha. again you cringe seeing how half of her ice cream is gone already.
"is it the nuts you dislike?" sasha says, raising her eyebrows at you.
"definitely the nuts."
"maybe it's because you're a lesbian..?"
you let out a gasp of mock disbelief before pushing sasha's shoulder, making her giggle. "god, just be quiet. i didn't like the marshmallows either.." you try to defend playfully. sasha just gives you a look that makes you push her again.
"c'mon, stop! my ice cream is going to fall," sasha whines. you let out a sound of playful annoyance, but you do stop. letting sasha finish up enjoying her ice cream. once done, she looks at you and smiles. "we should go get some food. i'm still hungry.." she pouts at you, it's a cute sight you won't lie but subconsciously you compare it to how jessie pouts at you whenever you tease her too much. why were you thinking about jessie when sasha is right in front of you? maybe because you miss the freckled woman, maybe because jessie and you went out to get ice cream all the time before sasha came into the picture, you don't know.
"okay, let's go," you stand up, "where should we go? pizza?" sasha shakes her head at your suggestion. pizza reminds her of how during the weekend she was basically a ghost while you and jessie did y'all's thing. instead she suggests getting chick fil a. you almost reject the idea, wanting something different but decide against it. letting sasha have this one thing.
"okay. since you paid for the ice cream, i'll pay-" your talking gets cut off by the ringing of your phone. you take the device of your pocket, already knowing who it is since you turned off do not disturb for only person, jessie. "hi freckles."
"hey idiot. i just finished.. wait.." silence follows after her words then shuffling as jessie moves around on the other line. you hear some other voices in the background as well. voices that are quite familiar. jessie speaks again, "are you outside? i swear i just heard a bird."
you chuckle, "yeah. i'm out getting ice cream."
"without me? why are you betraying me?" jessie says playfully. the words hit a bit deeper than they should have; what are you doing out here with sasha? that's the question that hits your mind but you ignore it. you aren't doing anything wrong, are you?
"shut up. are you with the team? put me on speaker, i miss them!" you smile once jessie complies with your request. you almost forget about the fact you're outside with sasha, but the blonde reminds you when she taps your shoulder. she makes a come on gesture and you mouth wait a minute before going back to talking to jessie and the team.
sasha lets out a dramatic sigh that's loud enough that jessie hears.
"are you with someone..?" she asks. stopping herself from asking if it's sasha since others are around her, but still she's curious.
"yeah. sasha wanted to go out for ice cream after class so here we are," you shrug despite knowing jessie couldn't see it. there is slight unease in your voice that nobody but jessie detects. she mentally reminds herself to ask you about it later, thinking it may have something to do with her.
you hear the voices of the other canadian players. eventually the loudest one is adriana who says, "sasha? that tall blonde you brought to the game in san diego? you two seem close!"
you're unsure of what to reply, knowing that jessie is right there next to the phone but you don't want to make anything awkward so you just laugh, "yeah. i guess you could say that."
"okay, guys stop. let me get my bestfriend back," jessie says. you are able to catch a few groans from the other players but that's it before jessie takes the phone off speaker before pressing it up against her ear. jessie had to stop that the moment it started. sasha and you? not as close as you are to jessie. the thought of sasha and you being any type of friendly makes her want to laugh. just because she knows it will never be comparable to the bond you two have. on the other hand it makes her want to argue, argue with you for even letting other people think that you were close to blondie. it wasn't your fault, but jessie can't exactly be rational when she's miles away from you and sasha is right there with you.
"we are about to get off the bus and get some dinner, so i'll call you later, okay? be ready for my call." you giggle hearing the serious tone that jessie tries to put on. "ten pm sharp. i'll be waiting for your call," you say.
"better be."
"shut up freckles."
after ending the call, you turn to look at sasha who stands there awkwardly. obviously feeling sorta out of the loop since she wasn't even included in the call. instead of having a conversation about how she still feels isolated compared to how jessie and you act instead sasha just says, "chick fil a?"
"yeah. let's get some chick-fil-a."
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jessie is only gone for two more days. you greet her at the airport and you two went out for dinner the night she flew back to la. during that time you weren't thinking of sasha at all. even when she texted you, it wasn't noticeable since you had your phone on do not disturb expect for jessie and your parents. it's not your fault really. sasha and you usually only click in person, being way dryer over text, and you haven't seen the blonde ever since jessie came back. your schedule clears up enough that you only had one class for the entire week and that class was not the one with sasha. you really weren't trying to ignore her, the circumstances just allowed you to forget.
you were fine with not seeing her though. spending most of the week hanging out with jessie; with most of the hanging out being just cuddling in bed while watching dumb rom coms or animal documentaries that always send you sleep. it was just like old times when jessie was your main friend. she's still your main friend, but sasha is in the picture now. sorta. while you're doing perfectly fine with not seeing the blonde, she wasn't the opposite.
it wasn't like sasha was desperate to see you, but her crush on you was growing and she's been wanting to go on a second date. counting that day you two went for ice cream then lunch as the first. everything is moving a little too slow for her and sasha is sure she knows the reason: a certain brunette soccer player. one who obviously doesn't like her and who is obviously a priority in your life. these two facts don't stop sasha from reaching out to you though. it's on saturday when you get a text.
you're laying in jessie's bed as she sleeps away the evening. her face is pressed against the top of her head while her arm is laying over your neck. you feel the text before you see it, with your phone vibrating somewhere on the bed. you aren't even sure where it is so you slowly try to move jessie off of you, so you can find it but the canadian is stubborn. even in her sleep as she pulls you closer. thankfully you find your phone right under jessie's hip after it vibrates again. struggling to pull it from up under her, but eventually you do. you blink at the brightness of your screen before reading the notification.
sasha ☀️
can we call?
i want to ask you something
you
can't call
just text me 🤍
sasha lets out a sigh seeing your response. she wanted to hear your voice. before she can stop herself, sasha types out and sends,
sasha ☀️
why?
she knows it's not her place to ask, but still. also it's this thought in the back of her mind that there isn't just a reason behind your text, but a person.
you
jess is sleep 💤
don't want to disturb her :(
and sasha's right. jessie is in the way once again. every time she tries to do anything with you, that freckled soccer player is right there to stop everything. even when she's sleeping she stops you two from doing anything more than the bare minimum.
sasha ☀️
okay
want to go out for karaoke? tomorrow night?
you
omg yeah
you swear you won't make fun of my vocals?
sasha ☀️
promise
alright it's a date
you two text back and forth for a few more minutes before you text that you're tired and that you're going off to bed. after that you move slightly so you can put your phone on the nightstand beside the bed. jessie groans out softly at the temporary loss of heat. pulling you closer then moving so that she's half on you half off. "where you going?" she mumbles softly into your skin. you can hear the sleepiness in her voice.
"nowhere. right here," you mumble back. your own sleepiness catching up to you. all that you done all day was be in your dorm and do things with jessie, but still you feel so sleepy.
"okay.. sleep. please?" jessie nearly whines but instead a muffled groan comes out instead. you wordlessly give her a yes, letting your hands rub on her back before drifting off to sleep yourself.
the next night, you're getting ready for your date with sasha. you haven't even told jessie about it but you can tell she already knows by the way a permanent pout seems to be stuck on her lips. she's leaning against the bathroom doorframe while you do the finishing touches on your hair.
"do you really have to go? we can do karaoke here," jessie says. the problem wasn't even the karaoke, it was sasha. jessie didn't want you to be going out on dates, but it's not like she could just say that.
"and risk getting noise complaints? no thanks," you laugh softly. jessie laughs after you, moving to come close. she wraps her arms around your waist like she always does. "we won't. just be quiet. i'm good at that, you're not."
"i'm not? you're louder than me when you get excited," you give her a look. moving away when she tries to pinch you. jessie chuckles before pulling you back close again. "freckles, watch the clothes"
"just change," jessie shrugs, pulling you right against her so that your face is pressed against her shoulder. you whine and playfully slap her back.
"you're the most annoying person ever. now i have to redo my makeup and change my clothes," you finally are able to pull away. your shirt is wrinkled and your skirt isn't any better. while your makeup is now smudged since you didn't even get to put on the setting spray before your bestfriend started to annoy you. jessie doesn't show a drop of remorse as she walks away from you. giving you a light slap on the shoulder before leaving out of the bathroom.
it takes you ten minutes to change your clothes and to redo your makeup. you rush out of the door, giving jessie the middle finger when she almost made you trip on the way out of the door. thankfully you aren't too late. sasha is understanding when you arrive at the karaoke place.
"jess messed up my whole look. i had to change and everything," you pout as you sit down on the cushioned bench in the small room. sasha have rented out one of the rooms in the karaoke place near ucla. the blond doesn't seem too fazed by your lateness, just happy you made it.
she smiles, "it's cool." she moves away from where she's leaning against the door before sitting down next to you. grabbing the mics that are on the table in front of you two. "ever done karaoke before?" sasha says.
you look at her with disbelief, "do you think i live under a rock? duh, all the time in highschool. jessie and i would go every friday as a little celebration that classes were done for the week." thinking back on those memories makes you smile. jessie can't seem to escape your thoughts. you don't notice how sasha frowns before she changes the subject, "challenge me then?" sasha looks at you as she holds out one of the mics towards you.
and who are you to reject a challenge? you take the mic out of her hand. standing up to the karaoke machine. "beyonce?" you ask, looking back to see sasha standing up as well. "duh," she laughs, coming closer to the machine.
"whoever loses has to get the winner whatever they want." you say, looking at which song to pick.
"bet, get ready to be at my mercy." you roll your eyes at her words. just giving her a small shove before starting the song. "that's cheating!" sasha giggles; then the battle was on.
sasha and you sang various beyonce songs with not the best vocals but still you two sang your hearts out. debating who won after each song ended. eventually around three hours have passed and it was coming close to the time of the karaoke place closing time.
"i totally won that. i practically sounded like beyonce," you say after setting the mic down. sasha and you have just finished singing single ladies which you are sure was definitely a win for you.
"get out of dreamland," sasha rolls her eyes. setting her mic down as well. she moves to grab her purse and jacket, glancing at the time on her phone. "okay, let's do rock paper scissors to see who won."
you cringe at her suggestion, but go along with after checking the time too. you two do three rounds of the kid game with sasha winning at the end. she smiles as she says, "told you that you would be at my mercy. now what could i possibly want..?"
sasha drags out her thinking, poking her cheek with her finger. she stays like that for a moment before saying, "go on another date with me?"
you smile at her question. you should have known that was going to be her choice.
"of course. i have to redeem myself next time." sasha laughs, about to say something else when your phone rings. you grab it quickly, already knowing who it is since your ringer is only on for jessie and a few others. you hold up a finger at sasha to basically say wait a moment. once she nods in understanding, you answer the call.
it wasn't too long and it wasn't really that important; well to others may not seem important but to you it was important because it was jessie on the other line. the soccer player asked if you were coming back to the dorm soon since she went out and bought strawberry ice cream, your favorite.
while you're busy on the phone, sasha is fighting away the frustration in her bones. again, you were paying attention to jessie again when your attention should be on her at the moment. she wouldn't care it jealousy. everytime you choose jessie over her just feels.. rude. when that soccer player comes around, you drop everything and run to her on her beck and call. it's annoying to see. it's even more annoying to experience. why can't you look at her?
she's snapped out of her thoughts when you end the call. looking at her before smiling, "sorry, gotta go. jessie bought this ice cream that i absolutely love and she threatened to put it under hot water if i don't run to my dorm in five minutes and.." sasha doesn't let you finish your rambling as she says, "it's fine. go ahead."
you smile and say a quick good night before leaving out of the room. leaving sasha to go back to jessie's arms once again.
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this same situation seems to happen every single time sasha tries to spend time with you. all the weeks past, you and sasha do hangout. going out on a few dates when you two aren't swamped with classes or when you weren't with jessie which was rarely. only when jessie was off on international duty is when you weren't with her and even then you were on the phone with the woman all the time.
the frustration that's been building up in sasha since she started to pursue you was going to show itself soon. jessie was always in the way.
you could never stay overnight at sasha's dorm because "jess would be missing me."
you couldn't take too long walking back to your dorm from class because "oh freckles likes to always watch this tv show after classes end and it comes on around now so i really can't miss it."
oh no, you can't go out that day? why? because "i have to go see jessie play. you know ucla has a home game today right?"
it's always about jessie, jessie, jessie. hearing her name was becoming suffocating for sasha. she couldn't stand to hear you talk about memories that you have jessie and how you two are so close. everything about you seems to be intertwined with that damned canadian. sasha swears if she hears jessie's name come out of your mouth one more time she will lose it and that time actually comes.
you have just come over to sasha's dorm to "study." in reality you two were going to eat snacks before playing a few games. a simple, but cute home date that sasha appreciates more than the ones where you two go out. when you arrived, you have dropped your backbag against her bed before going into the mini fridge next to her bed.
"you only have cherry freezepops? jessie and i love those," you say, standing up with one of the freezepops in her hand. okay the first time she heard jessie name that day doesn't annoy her enough to do anything about it. she just hopes you don't talk about jessie anymore today while you two hang out.
that hope doesn't last long. sasha decides that you two should watch this whale documentary that uses comedy to explain how whales social circles work and that's when sasha blows up on you.
"this sounds so cool. jessie always wants me to watch documentaries and she always convinces me so it's like.." you don't get to finish your sentence. sasha rolls her eyes before saying, "oh my god, y/n. can i hear something about you instead of jessie for once?"
there's deep irritation in her tone. making you look at her in confusion. why was sasha acting like that?
"what are you talking about? i tell you about myself all the time," you reply. crossing your arms across your chest as some type of barrier against her words.
"not if it doesn't involve jessie. do you even exist without her? when she leaves, do you just cease to exist?" sasha snaps at you. she doesn't mean to, she really doesn't but these emotions have been building up for a while now. could she really be blamed when all she knows about you is from memories that involve someone else?
you don't take her words well at all. firstly, she basically insulting you and saying you have no personality. secondly, she's mentioning jessie like she's some type of pest. two things that went too far in your book.
"obviously i do! i'm right in front of you!" you stand up, moving to grab your bag. you weren't going to stay somewhere with someone who's insulting you. "and now you're going to leave? can you blame me for what i said? you always bring up jessie. knowing she doesn't even like me! how do you think that makes me feel?" sasha stands up too. grabbing onto your arm to stop you from moving any further.
you immediately pull her hand off of your arm, nearly slapping it. "jessie may not like you but that isn't a crime. she's at least being civil towards you. not insulting you behind your back!"
"really? when you two are in your dorm, cuddling away or whatever the fuck you two do in there, she doesn't say one bad word about me?"
"no she doesn't."
"you're fucking lying!" sasha lets all of her frustration out. it's all too much and now you're just lying to her face. "and i'm a fucking idiot because i'm chasing after some chick who's inlove with her best friend!" sasha's words created a pit in your stomach. it reminds you just of the words everyone else used to say when it came to jessie and you. that you two are too close, that she's in love with you and you're in love with her.
you are quick to defend yourself, not even thinking rationally, "i'm not in love with jessie! she's my bestfriend, so don't even try to apply that. if you're going to be so jealous over nothing then we can be done."
"jealous? i'm not being jealous, i'm being reasonable. you know why jessie hates me? because she wants you!" sasha shouts. she swears all the dorms in this hall can probably hear you two, but she really doesn't care. this was a conversation she's been meaning to have and unfortunately it came out so explosive.
you shout right back, "didn't i just say to not even apply something like that? you're crazy!"
sasha makes you fall silent when she says,"i'm crazy? no, let's see if you're crazy. answer me this, do you want to be my girlfriend or are you already taken by jessie?"
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author notes: sorry this took like a thousand years, it was a struggle to figure out how to make this part fit into the story. the cliffhanger is a little messy sorry for that too and yeah, hope y'all liked it 🙏🏾 hopefully it was worth the wait. ignore any gramatical or spelling errors pleaseee
© THINKINGABOUTJAEDYN
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Obey Me Nightbringer Theory Time: MC is an Unreliable Narrator
What if the MC knows more than they are letting on? What if the MC's motives is different from ours, as the player?
(Disclaimer: Long post. Different from my meme content. Contains spoilers for all of NB and OG content. Also I may wake up tomorrow and cringe at this, but hopefully you can enjoy my delirium?)
OG = Obey Me Original
NB = Obey Me Nightbringer
It all starts from the beginning
We can see traces of this from when we first launch the game, with MC's first text messages with Nightbringer. And I'm not talking about the messages that we saw when the game first launched, but the new re-write of those same messages. You can compare the differences between the old texts and the new texts on @impish-ivy 's post here (thank you for allowing me to discuss it here). I'll include some of their screenshots as reference.
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Let's take a look at the new version of the text exchange. Now, I don't know about you, but I have no idea what Nightbringer is talking about. But Sheep-chan apparently does! If MC answers that they think they understand what he's talking about, they get to keep their memories when they get sent to the past. But if MC says they don't have a clue? The game assumes that they have lost their memories. This seems like a strong indicator that MC knows something that we, as the player, do not know about Nightbringer and their powers. This exchange is very different from how things played out in the original version of these text messages where:
Yes I know them. Really well, actually = MC has their memories.
I don't know who they are = MC has no memories.
[The official reason for this change was "to make the game more enjoyable for new players", but I don't buy that. In the original version, it was quite clear which option you had to pick to signal to the game that you have not played OG. While in this version, it's way more convoluted, since the player will have no idea what Nightbringer is actually talking about. It just causes people who have played OG to accidentally signal to the game that they haven't. Why change the text to be even more confusing, when the original version would have sufficed for newer players?]
Now let's follow this line of thought for a moment. Nightbringer states that the MC has received "a second chance at a fated meeting", and MC has to answer that they think they know what this means if they want to keep their memories during the time jump. If they don't, then Nightbringer assumes that they have lost their memories.
Which leads me to believe that Sheep-chan is not entirely an innocent victim who was unwittingly sent to the past. Instead, they were a willing participant of the time jump. Maybe they have some understanding on how Nightbringer's powers worked and wanted to meet the brothers again. Maybe they too were curious to see what their ideal world looked like. With this idea in mind, let's re-evaluate everything MC has said and done in NB.
MC's interactions with Nightbringer (and Michael, I guess)
After the intro, the next time MC directly interacts with Nightbringer is in Lesson 12 of NB, where they get sent into a coma after breaking the rules at the Fountain of Knowledge. Let's look at what he says here for a moment.
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The first thing Nightbringer asks MC is what they think of this world, a rather unusual thing to ask someone who is kinda sorta dying. If MC says they want to go home, Nightbringer expresses some confusion as to whether the brothers of this world are not to MC's liking. It makes sense for him to be confused here, since he sent MC to this timeline under the impression that they would like this world (or at least, view this world as a stepping stone to reach their "place of joy").
(Then again, if MC responds that they are enjoying this world, Nightbringer is even more perplexed that they can remain upbeat in such a precarious situation. But knowing what canon Sheep-chan is like, why is this surprising?)
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After this, he explains that his motive is to lead MC to a place that will "bring [them] joy like no other". This fits what he had said in the beginning of the game:
"Shall I take you someplace you will be happy? Somewhere that will bring you more joy than any other."
"A world you desire, and where you will be desired."
- Nightbringer, intro text message
He then goes on to emphasise that both he and MC want the same thing. He comments on how MC has done a splendid job getting closer to Lucifer and his brothers. This is where I feel that Nightbringer was never MC's enemy, as both parties have similar goals, and they need each other to some extent. MC needed Nightbringer and other mysterious forces to set the gears in motion so that MC can become closer to the brothers, forge pacts with them, and reach their "ideal" world. Nightbringer wants to bring MC to this place of happiness, and he sees MC forming pacts with the brothers as the way to get there. In this case, Nightbringer is a co-conspirator here.
This idea then gets brought up again when MC sees Michael in Lesson 13, when he saves MC from their coma. He warns MC that the Celestial Realm would be less willing to tolerate their behaviour if they ally themselves with Nightbringer (which, is exactly what MC has been doing so far). Is Michael afraid of the MC trying to forge their ideal world together with Nightbringer? Or is he afraid that MC is getting tricked by Nightbringer?
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This also explains why Nightbringer never interacted with MC again after this incident. Everything MC had done in NB was what Nightbringer had wanted as well. Nightbringer didn't need to intervene because everything was going according to his plan.
Comparison of MC's actions in OG vs NB
When we consider the fact that MC may have actually wanted to go back to the past and meet the brothers again, a lot of their actions (and even their inaction) makes more sense. When Solomon tells them they need to make the pacts to get back to their own time, MC is in no rush to obtain these pacts. In fact, they don't even think about making those pacts until Season 2 when they are faced with an ultimatum to make those pacts, which is, they have to forge the pacts before MC and Solomon lose their connection to their original time. This is different from the usual behaviour in OG, where they were extremely motivated to make a pact with every brother from Beelzebub -> Asmo -> Satan and employed help from multiple people to acheive this goal. They even took the initiative to ask Lucifer for a pact on the day before they left the Devildom, when they had no reason to do so.
This is very different from how Season 2 of NB played out, as MC simply waited around until each brother went beserk (in the case of Mammon, Asmo and Satan) before they even thought about proposing the pact. In Lucifer's case, even though MC (after much prompting) spoke up about needing to go back to their home, it was Mephistopheles advocating for MC that ultimately convinced Lucifer to let MC go. And later on, MC remained on the sidelines and let the other characters take the reign in rescuing Lucifer from Cocytus. Compared to the original game, where MC takes on a more active role in forming their pacts, MC is more passive in Nightbringer, simply biding their time until the opportunity to make a pact falls onto their lap. Is this how somebody who desperately misses their home and wants to go back ASAP would act?
Regardless of how you choose to play the MC as, they always express some hesitation in leaving behind the brothers of the past. No matter how many times you try to make the MC say they want to go back home ASAP, Lucifer will gaslight-gatekeep-girlboss MC into admitting that they do not want to leave. Simeon in Lesson 35 of NB even reaffirms this by saying "I'm sure you really feel that way deep down inside. Even if you don't realise it". Bruh.
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But why? MC should know that their home is with the boys of the present timeline. Why has the MC never considered the repercussions of staying in a timeline that they don't belong in? Or even considered how Solomon could lose his powers for good because of MC's hesitance? Why had MC never once stopped to consider how the demon brothers they had left behind would feel about their absence? This shouldn't even be a dilemma.
Unless... this past was the place they wanted to end up in the first place. That, like Nightbringer had said, this place will bring them joy like no other.
As an aside: One of the few insights we get about Sheep-chan's inner thoughts is the nightmare they have about the brothers trapping them in the attic and preventing them from leaving (in Lesson 33 of NB). Which has horrific implications, considering the attic still did not exist at this point of time. Was Belphegor's imprisonment and the Lesson 16 incident so traumatic for MC that the attic is the place that they associate with imprisonment?
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Note how some of the brothers keep suggesting that THIS is the outcome that the MC really wants. But this also provides another possible reason for the MC's hesitation to leave: The fear of how the brothers' of the past would react. The fear of brothers turning against them, despite everything MC had done to protect them. Speaking of what MC had done to protect them...
MC forging their place in the past Devildom
MC hasn't taken active measures to forge their pacts to return home, but you know what they have shown to be more interested in? Asserting their place in the Devildom of the past, and spending time with the past version of the brothers.
The best example of this is Lesson 11 of NB, where the MC hesitates to promise to Solomon to protect humanity, but with no hesitation, promises to take care of the brothers even with full knowledge that they would be punished for doing this. If we remember Lesson 35 of OG where MC, Solomon and the demon brothers went to the reaper's cave to break Beel's curse, Solomon was surprised that the demon brothers' punishments for breaking the reaper's rules (turning into a Little D) were so mild. It was implied that without MC unconsciously protecting them with their magic, the brothers could have died or been wiped out from existence upon breaking the rules.
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A weakened MC of the past who retains their memories of this incident in the reaper's cave would know just how severe the backlash would be if they make promises in the cave. But this did not stop them from doing so anyway. This shows where MC's allegiance truly lies: Not with humanity, not with any mysterious forces at play, but with the demon brothers. It's hard to tell what the MC hopes to get out of making such a dangerous promise.
The most optimistic take is that they felt forced to prove their loyalty to Lucifer and his family by taking such a drastic action. After all, MC is used to sacrificing their life for the people they love. Throwing themselves at death is nothing new to them.
The most cynical take would be that this bold decision was actually a calculated move by the MC to assert their importance and their role in the demon lords' lives. To show just how bad things can get without them. To guilt-trip Lucifer and Belphegor who had doubted the MC's allegiance, so that they never doubt MC again.
Regardless of their motivation, the MC's actions showed that they are inseparable from Lucifer's family, and this incident served to further cement the MC's importance to them. This allowed MC to strengthen their bonds with the brothers once again. So that they can create a world they desire, and they will be desired.
Putting this all together
Obey Me: Nightbringer paints the image of a MC being ripped from their home and being thrust into an unfamiliar world. Yet, the MC's actions in NB tell a different story. It shows us that Nightbringer is turning the gears so that MC can go to a place surrounded by people that they love, and who will love them no matter what. Because it wouldn't be enough if the characters of the present were hopelessly in love with them, but the characters of the past should also feel the same way. Even if that is a world the MC does not belong in.
All I'm saying is, Sheep-chan is sus as heck.
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yandere-daydreams · 2 months
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How are you so fluffing funny and eloquent? Are you like that in person??
I'm not into half the characters you write about or answer asks about but I still read because I just love the way you write. You have such a smart mouth.
I hope writing is something you are pursuing because sincerely you got talent
thank you!!! and i very much do not speak like i write no T-T i have a kinda prominent speech impediment and a lot of social anxiety, so the words,,, they do not come easily. i'm simply so smart and funny and hot that the powers that be know i would be unstoppable if i could communicate a coherent sentence in any less than three tries. or say the word 'publicity'. it's a surprisingly common word okay.
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nyxofdemons · 3 months
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four years for this show...
#IM SORRY. ITS JUST. IM SO. HHHHHRGN#its fine. its good. its entertaining to say the least#but from a writing perspective......#im not an anti i am the worlds biggest helluva boss enjoyer the hellaverse is SO SPECIAL TO ME#but.. the more i see about hazbin s1......#how in over four years was this what you came up with. how is the pacing this insane. how is this character treatment ok.... PLEASE#my sorta toxic trait is that as someone obsessed with media analysis; narrative devices; and story structure -#as well as just. someone who is an aspiring showrunner/creator working on my own huge projects -#is that every time i come across a movie or show that i think is done in a really lacking way. all i can think about is how i would#have done it instead#(this happens in a non-critical way too tbf if i really enjoy a book or game i'll be like they should let me make a based on film)#but hazbin. hazbin. all i have right now is 'i could fix her' in my head#I WOULD TREAT THESE CHARACTERS RIGHT I WOULD GIVE THEM THE NARRATIVE THEY DESERVE#there is. so much potential here. how is the execution so lacking#mine#good ideas!!!! good moments!!!!!!!! THE OVERALL CONSISTENT NARRATIVE IS NOT DOING SO HOT#as a side note though i really think this is why helluva is doing so much better in terms of pacing and writing. the structure of that show#is so much more accommodating to a long intricate story WHILE weaving in a billion different character stories#8 episodes for hazbin is insane season 1 needed twice as much#nyx crit tag
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perenlop · 4 months
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this is gonna sound so backhanded but after 3 letdowns in a row from pokemon (followed by a game which isnt terrible but i dislike because of how much it fucked up the plot of sm), then a game that i genuinely really love and want more in the style of and largely because of how it deviates from the main series, im genuinely so shocked that i love scarlet and violet as much as i do. like when i was going through that tutorial i was just cautious and waiting for the other show to drop and be bored at best, but like, graphic glitches aside, it never came. it stayed really fun and charming
#like is it acceptable that it came out so glitchy when its a $60 console release? absolutely not#i think the game has a lot of issues and i dont blame people for not being happy with it#but i think what makes this better than swsh to me is like. swsh sorta feels like it was made out of obligation sometimes#like. tpci and gamefreak treated galar like a kid would treat an art project in a medium they werent interested in#but they were being harassed for that good grade so they powered through and hated the result#and sorta just tried to hide it when they got home from school that day#not that there isn’t anything to like about galar or it has no substance whatsoever but when i played it i couldnt shake the feeling#that gamefreak was embarassed of it. like they did not want to linger too much on this game#i think the anime switching format was a good idea in the end cause just putting ash in another gauntlet after he won the alola league would#would have been weird but its veryyyy telling to me that they changed the format so drastically#that we didnt even spend all our time in galar. their home base wasnt even in galar#and in the game they emphasize that kantos got better pokemon and everyone loves them better and theres not a whole lot to do#and there was always just this feeling of insecurity and dissatisfaction with it#and for all its faults- i cant say the same thing about scvi. this game oozes with charm and care#the writing feels like someone genuinely cared about these characters and wanted the best for them and the story#the gameplay feels more involved and confident. they got more experimental with the format#idk it feels like people LIKED working on this game to a degree and wanted the player to have fun#echoed voice
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gobstoppr · 2 months
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and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)
i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise
#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles#its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring#im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus.#theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny#actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters#idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me#anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too#and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys#and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male .#maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it.#guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things#i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just.#we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it.#you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week.#but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it.#i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff#but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me.#my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months.#but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy#i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play#all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good.#marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho)#i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often#uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying.#saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up#im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh#text
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theflyingfeeling · 6 months
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fanfic rambling in the tags, nothing interesting really, just me talking to myself lol, okay to ignore or read as you please ✨
#so i've found the perfect prompt list for an olli/allu fic advent calendar sorta thing#but i'm too intimidated by my own expectations and ridiculously high standards to even start writing any of them 😭#honestly these prompts are so insanely cute and fit olli/allu PERFECTLY#like. i'm actually having trouble deciding which ones to use because i want to write them all 🥺💞#but i'm so so scared that i'll just end up writing the same (boring) story over again for 24 times 😔#i wish i could just write without thinking and trying so hard to write a literary masterpiece#when i KNOW it's alright if it's just a silly little story about my blorbos#that's perfectly enough and i know this but my brain's just not having it 😩#also if i were to write 24 independent fics i'd have to keep them short and simple but. that's not how i do fics. unfortunately (for me)#to overcome this i guess one option would be to write just one longer piece with 24 chapters#and somehow try to include the prompt of the day in each chapter 🤔#but i don't want to make this even more complicated to myself lol especially because i'm planning to write AUs for a couple of the prompts#i REALLY want to do prompts (of any kind!!) but i'm just so scared of stressing myself out to another months-long writer's block 😭#fair enough the last time that happened (last winter/spring) i was in a shitty place mentally anyway#and so far i've been happy to be writing on random bursts of inspiration. that's how it's the easiest for me. the words just...flow out#i'm so insanely jealous of anyone who can just create stuff when given any prompt 😭#y'all are super humans to me how do you do it pls spill your secrets#and anyone tempted to comfort me by saying i shouldn't stress myself over this and that i don't have to write anything i don't wanna write:#i knoooooowwww and i appreactiate the sentiment but the thing is i actually DO want to write these prompts 😭#in theory at least. because they really are cute as fuck wth 🥺#the problem is that i can't /force/ myself to write something at the snap of my fingers without a clear idea besides the prompt#and also because i know it can take me days to finish even one story let alone 24 💀#so to even START on this project is a little intimidating 🫣#i just fear i won't have the patience :(#and when i realise i won't be able to finish the project i'll become frustrated with myself#if only i knew how to write shorter one-scenes in order to not tire myself out#but often i find those kind of fics somehow...unsatisfying :(#i'm just a sucker for crafting the context/background for stories. a little flesh around the bones if you will 🤧#okay that's all now i'm gonna go stare at a wall while doing nothing useful for the rest of the weekend byeeee#if you read this far i hope you're having a nice saturday
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For the celebration, congrats by the way, what was your thought process coming up with "Hello Fellow Wartior?" Like, were there any things you were inspired by specifically?
Thank you!! And tysm for asking something! ⸜( *ˊᵕˋ* )⸝
And oh! That was specifically inspired by the absence of a lot of venom symbiote & peter dynamics, funnily enough? The venom arc was always my favorite thing in any movie or episode it' appears in, but it always felt like never lasted every long or even felt off? Like it was just an obligatory addition to check off the list instead of a moment of character exploration like it should be.
Though, Specular Spider-Man is the exception for giving it the proper weight and focus! Like, you can see the slow changes beginning to take form including in his thought process / narration. It isn't just suit good! Suit bad! Get off! You can see the underlying horror.
I ended up rambling to a friend about my frustrations, or the potential for venom arc's in general, because yeah, we know how it always goes but Spidey has alternate universe's, is there any where he keeps it? Where their bond is healthier? And I didn't see jack shit. And I, pissed the fuck off there wasn't, realized if I wanted it I'd have to do the damn thing myself, and there we are! From there, since I was twisting some classic rules, I could twist some others, like fuck it, like both MJ and Harry find out!
And then trying to mold the symbiote into something well intended but still potentially harmful, so I could keep the classic aggression and hostility exhibited by black suit Spidey, but give it a different context. Plus something to challenge Spider's sacrificial streak by being nagged into a healthier life style, haha! I wanted to make it fun and different, basically.
All in all, I was pissed the fuck off there wasn't more venom and spidey content, then realized I could be as self indulgent as I wanted to be and explore "what if he kept it?" and it snowballed from there! The absence of what I wanted was so upsetting I needed to do it myself. Tysm for asking! (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡♡♡
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roostertuftart · 1 year
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anyway though i'm gonna write an essay on why kyle isn't a nice guy/incel bc I feel like someone's gotta do it and I'm shocked I haven't seen it done already
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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months
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#so thinking abt my inability to do things in thr context of my 0cd is interesting. bc i would say my primary problem is my obsessive#compulsive behavior and inflexibility. idk if thr inflexibility is inherent to me bc its part of the reason i got stamped with aut1sm or but#its part of what maked it so hard to tell if i had 0cd or not. bc im just so fucking rigid and structured abt literally everything without#any reason. y do i have to do X thing and i cant do Y thing? idk my brain just says i cant. which kinda does align with 0cd more or just#like something compulsive. and its sorta weird bc i think im a lot more aligned with purely obsessional 0cd. so i dont do a lot of external#ritual. its more abstract. like constantly i have to work or b perfect or else i start getting intrusive thoughts. always thr same ones. and#to make them go away i have to physically suffer usually thru overworking to my mental breaking point or sometimes more direct ways#when its really bad. and then i have to keep working. and i do a lot of fucking ruminating. fucking constand catogorizing and pathological#self reflection. again i have high standards and high affinity for self punishment which is a lot to deal with. its exhausting and misery#making. and the annoying thing is that im like this for a reason. i mean it makes sense. having a learning disability plus bad short term#working memory plus some mood weirdness. ive created a structure that makes me productive but also creates so much pressure thst i cant#function at all sometimes. and whats worse is that even then even with the amount of checking i do i am still a master of fucking up the lil#things. i forgot to write my name in the autoclave list and caused problems for ppl bc i forgot when i went up there Even tho i new i needed#to. i also forgot to put thr foam cap on a liquid nitrogen tank which would have been SO FUCKING BAD if it all evaporated. so many samples#woulf have been lost bc i just fucking forgot to put it back. that was just this week. idk i just forget things like that. i left a freezer#door open in hs and we lost everything in the freezer. i also fucked up an whole experiment by not reading a schedule right. and its really#frustrating not being able to trust that youve done the right thing in the past. not to mention all the bullshit i mislabel but thats more#dys1exia realated. alas. i check and check and get anxious spikes of: FUCK DID I DO X? for a reason. but also its no fun#unrelated
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winter-spark · 8 months
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Alright Orange and Navel headcanons [that will totally might give me away if I ever post the fics where these ideas spouted from (I was planning on posting them anonymously if I ever finish them)] in order of creation.
Navel likes lacquerware. I know that's vague/broad but I'm thinking he also likes to compare how differently/similarly they end up based on location creation, I think there are certain designs he's more drawn to than others but he likes to look at them in general.
Orange is an owl kid. You know the ones. Sees an owl toy or owl decoration on something and is like I want that one. Additionally, I think he probably can identify a lot of owls too. (is this because he's studying more now or has he always been able to? I dunno, stop asking me questions.)
Navel is an astronomy(but mostly stars)kid. How many constellations does he know? Inquiring minds would like to know.
Orange has a sweet tooth. I mean if Zafra has the spiciest spices but also the sweetest candy there's probably two type of people: Spice cravers and Sweet tooth havers and Orange is definitely a sweet tooth haver in my humble opinion. (Ah which means the others are too. uhm well, I'll say Citron seems to have a lean towards spices, I feel Navel would too. and Tangerine probs has a lean towards sweets.)
That's what I have so far. Also sidenote, before all of this, I figured that between Navel and Orange, Navel is more... of an "!" if that makes sense, like more outgoing-ish, more excitable, more warm, none of those words seem quite right but somewhere in that ballpark. And seeing them in the recent Spotlight event sorta further confirmed that for me.
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visualsine · 1 year
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i feel like i would like stampede more if i hadnt read or watched the og series before it lol. like objectively, its a great anime. it has really well executed animation, it has interesting high concepts… but it just doesn’t really feel like trigun to me, yknow?
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i love giving koschei a stupid made up timeywimey mental illness it’s selfindulgent and dumb and doesnt necessarily make for good fics but look at my blorbo having symtomps i love her so much
#i have so much SHAME about posting fic where i feel like the meta isnt. like. sound#where it's just scenes that make me feel something and not necessarily make a point about the characters#which is so DUMB bc the first year of writing fic i wasnt even aware there was any meta in them#only in retrospect i realised i had analysed characters and drawn conclusions and then used those conclusions to say new stuff in my fic#but i also kinda get it bc ive read posts about how fic in fandom is more about doing meta than it is about creative writing#bc you need to analyse and deconstruct the source to be able to do something new with it#you cant transform without observing#so fic that doesnt do that sorta fails at its purpose then right? so what right does it have to exist#thats what i think about my own fic then#but it's not like there is none of that in them. like you have to have analysed Something to have written Anything at all#it's just i think my meta has got more complex and it's lots of stuff that im not sure about where im still trying to figure out what ithink#so that shows up as stories that explore but dont really have anything to say perhaps#no conclusions#but then im like what does this OFFER#and of course it offers some things. it offers whatever feelings i wrote it to have#which is not unimportant#but still. shame#'whats the point in things that are just to make you feel good' well to make you feel good obvs. but am i allowed to POST it then#is it up to the STANDARDS. am i CONTRIBUTING or just making noise#i dont want to just make noise#i kinda want to say something#also like. if it's not good meta then am i still writing the character? am i still being true to them? am i doing them and the story justice#ugh anyway
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endwalkr · 2 years
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weee
#lotr good#lol i know i already made a post about it earlier this week but i finished watching the extended movies<\3#reading the appendices is slightly on halt since its no less work than studying but#i think readinf the books was soooo much fun like i already really miss being able to pick it up every day for month#the fact that you spend so much more time reading than watching a movie sort of makes the connection a bit stronger in a way#like im not sure how many hours i spent reading all 3 books over four weeks but it must be like 40 at least#being able to see it all in movie form is soo lovely cause 1) theyre just such fun movies and 2) you dont have to work your brain to#visualize things as much#although i did end up getting quite used to the writing style and endless describing of landscapes#so i didnt have to focus super hard anymore after a while#but yeah still its nice to just be able to sit back and let it sorta come at you rather than actively read it all#though a difference is that in the book if you find a scene or quote that hits hard you can just sort of read it over and over while still#staying in the zone or the vibe of the scene#whereas in a movie you can rewind of course but it breaks it up a bit xD#sometimes while reading i would loop a quote 4 or 5 times in my head before moving on#idk wtf i am talking about its almost 4am but i am so surprised i ended up liking lotr so much#like i wanted to watch it cause i was curious and general cultural education and stuff but especially after reading of course#ive not really had a new interest where i can like do endless research and learn soo many things about it for quite a while#the experience of finding something new and like slowly familiarizing yourself with it more and more is so much fun#also sjfjdj at me having to read and watch the grey havens scene twice within a week#first the book last monday and now the movie#me sobbing both times😭#its just really good#and i reiterate because it must be said#nobody ever did and nobody ever will do it like samwise gamgee#shoutout to taking the hobbits to ise gard#shoutout to the shire theme constantly transitioning into the gridania theme in my head#and good night (collapses)#long post#< in case of accidental tag opening sjfjdj
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madeimpact · 1 year
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Kinda tempted to drop all my threads and start over
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