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uwumessenger · 3 years

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random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

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tillman · 5 years

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hi i ranked every single dark souls 1 character by who i think is the most kissable . its 79 characters all with a description of why theyre at the place theyre at with images for reference :-) its all under cut for u to enjoy.. thank u

this is all my opinion cus hehe im making the list but also im god so this is fact now .

counting down because u know what ! buildup is fun and i have to start off with everyones most favorite:

GWYN - 79

im kidding. fuck gwyn and everything he stands for. he wouldnt even be a good kisser he doesnt have FUCKING LIPS

SEATH - 78

oh you really wanna kiss the incel dragon who kidnaps ladies for his weird experiements?? yeah?? who are you, big hat logan?

EINGYI - 77

heres one i wont get hate for: this fucking asshole . die bastard . he cant even kiss his face is all infected and gross!

KAATHE - 76

he sucks.

SMOUGH - 75

not only is he too big to kiss! hes a cannibal!! hed eat you!!!! thats no kiss i want!

MANUS - 74

listen i know yall love daddies and all that but hes manipulative and not a nice person so id watch out. i GUESS hes kissable as he was a human before but def not a good kiss

BED OF CHAOS - 73

its just some vines that sometimes set on fire!! If it were still the witch of izalith she would be probally in the 20s as shes a good person who tried very hard to help the world but in this state... u cant even kiss her!

FRAMPT - 72

better than kaathe but the whole no lips and being a manipulative snake monster really throws me off and shoves him down at the bottom

FINA (GODDESS OF LOVE/BEAUTY (?)) - 71

(mentioned character - no image sorry :-( )

Listen as much as im all for love, this is love u dont want ! just trust me dont be lautrec dont do it you dont want to kiss fina listen to me. please dont kiss fina.

VINCE AND NICO - 70

way of the white members are NOTABLY unkissable but these guys. are just so boring. theyll be your white bread boyfriend as neil would say... bad kissers and bad people!

LAUTREC - 69

aw fuck wait can i make another character 69 he doesnt deserve it. anyways not only is he not over his ex (fina) hed probally gut you and steal your lunch money half way through the kiss anyways so whats the point . thats not how u treat a lover idiot

CENTIPEDE DEMON - 68

it eats your face and you die. next pleaaase

PETRUS - 67

another way of the white cleric. he at least starts off nice and he says fuck rich people but also he let that happen to rhea and i fucking hate his guts so no.

PALADIN LEEROY - 66

out of all the way of the white idiots hes the best in that he wears armor and seems cool but its the way of the white man. i cant get past that. sorry leeroy at least your armor is cool. he probably hasnt kissed someone in hundreds of years anyways

MOONLIGHT BUTTERFLY - 65

delicate ... but beautiful! i dunno how to smooch it but i def would if i could ! i dont think it can kiss back but, o well! we all have flaws

IRON GOLEM - 64

it cant kiss back but its COOL and can throw me like a javelin so like . yeehaw id smooch its little face place

UNDEAD MERCHANTS (BOTH) - 63

between moss and yulia i think they got enough on their plates! plus since theyre so hollowed, i dont think they have any lips to kiss back with!

INGWARD - 62

hes not like . bad persay but also i dont trust him after he helped with new londo. cool design tho. i wanna kiss that bird beak mask

JEREMIAH - 61

was a bullfrog, and never took off his crown long enough to kiss another person...... i feel like if he did though! oh boy!!!

Asylum Demon + Demon Firesage + Stray Demon - 60

more kissable than some bosses, but still not the greatest lips. good butts though on all of them.... so i guess thats fr u kinky people

SNUGGLY THE CROW - 59

(no image shes a crow)

please stop drawing her as an anime girl shes literally just a grow that likes warm things oh my god you freaks be nice to her

BIG HAT LOGAN - 58

hes hard to kiss around the hat! and on that note hes pretty much taken with his obsession with seath. good luck! hes nice though so better than most of this list so far

GAPING DRAGON - 57

ranked so high because past its giant underbelly of teeth and destruction is this very tiny head which i think is so funny i cant help but want to kiss its little snoot.... hehe baby

PRINCE RICARD - 56

oh now were actually getting into kissable range! ricard is a prince (maybe even of astora... kissability increase.) so his high ranking might get you some kissability points, but the hollowing is gonna lower that. 4/10 no kissable lips!

4 KINGS - 55

whats better than a prince..... a king... whats better than a king.................. 4 KINGS! just watch out for their overly anime spiky armor and the fact their in a never ending void nightmare but they do have faces so thats points above the rest!

SALAMAN - 54

(mentioned character only! sorry!)

hmmmm we dont learn much about him other than he was close with quelana and he was ............ hot! hes a pyromancer. being of the great swamp pushes him down a bit because he prolly smells like his name sake but u know what ! maybe hes cute! we cant be sure! hes in the running at least!

TAURUS DEMON - 53

hmm... bad lover.... good kisser................................................... the things i do for big beefy demon love.

GOUGH - 52

While you cant kiss gough cus all the sap in his helmet i cant bare to put him lower than he is hes just so sweet. a kiss on his helmet because i love him so much

NITO - 51

while he cant kiss back, nito deserves a kiss or two! plus he has a lot of hands so u can hold his hands and be hugged at the same time and u know what that might be just as good as a nice kiss. good on you nito!

STONE DRAGON - 50

again a non kisser........ damn beaks! the stone dragon does need a kiss though. they havent seen another living soul in years down in ash lake! so im giving them points on that alone.

VAMOS - 49

like the last two.... no lips! vamos though makes up for it in his charm and wit, and his exceptional skill in smithing! so even without lips to kiss, you still should kiss vamos! hes a good friend

ARIAMIS - 48

(mentioned !)

wow... a painter! and a skilled one at that! this man created the painted world used to keep priscilla safe and that is so noble it gives him points right off the bat! i feel like though, as an artist, he might be a bit weird about it. so watch out and be safe, but in the end, get free art and some free smooches out of him!

ELIZABETH - 47

thats my mom ... of course she gets a good cheek smooch for all her hard work keeping dusk safe!

DOMHNALL - 46

i love domhnall hes a good guy whos trying his best but also his mask is so fucking goofy i dunno if i can do it .

RICKERT - 45

as much as i think rickert would be a good kiss (hes smart, cute, and skilled!) he is trapped behind some bars willingly and probably wont let you in. i can dream though!

CEASLESS DISCHARGE - 44

if theres any boss that NEEDS a kiss its him. poor dude lost all his family and was turned into this laughing stock of a creature. youd probably burn your lips but .... please just be nice to him :-(

SHIVAS BODYGUARD - 43

ooo a strong yet silent type.... hes even cute under his mask! good kiss, but i feel like he might just care more about his actual job than a kiss ! hes dedicated !

CIARAN - 42

putting aside me knowing shed be a good kisser, i just understand she probably doesnt want a kiss right now, shes grieving over the loss of her friend and i respect her comfort. maybe a good pat on the shoulder and a cup of nice tea with her would be nice though!

PINWHEEL - 41

may seem like a weird choice to put a necromancer up so high on the list but.... honestly pinwheel needs some love. dude lost his whole family and in trying to revive them accidentally fused them to himself. while he might not be the best kisser, i honestly just wanna tell him everythings gonna be ok.

KIRK - 40

ok if you know me you KNOW how much it pains me to put kirk so low but. hes a busy guy! not only is he doing so much work to help out where he can with the fair lady, but you might just get pricked by his spiky armor while youre going in for the smooch! so, as much as he deserves a kiss for all his hard work, maybe pass until another time!

SIEGLINDE - 39

were getting there! she is just so strong... and so brave........ she may not even be undead! sieglinde is so strong and wonderful doing all that just to deliver a message to her unruly father, she deserves so many kisses! Shes got a lot on her plate though so please respect her......

BERENIKE - 38

(just mentioned!)

implied to be a huge strong knight who made it to even sens fortress! yes please !

BELL GARGOYLES - 37

hmmmmm,.......... if u can get past the whole lighting your face on fire, these are two loyal gargoyles! that seems pretty good to me!

BEATRICE - 36

a wonderful helpful witch friend! she is so nice to help you defeat flying bosses with her magic!! i love her so much! shes even cute to boot!

GIANT BLACKSMITH - 35

HE HELP ANYTIME................... I HAVE TO GIVE HIM A KISS FOR ALL HIS HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGALLY I HAVE TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RHEA - 34

putting aside my hatred of the way of white.... rhea really is just a babey.... shes adorable and kind and just wants everyone to be ok so im won over. maybe a little forehead smooch for being such a good person!

OSCAR - 33

oh oscar. a noble, heroic, and cute knight but in the end. would he be a good kisser........ i feel yes, but maybe not so much so! hes busy focusing on being a hero you know! hes a good friend and i cant help but fall in love with nice guys

THE FAIR LADY - 32

she deserves the entire world and all i can give her is my humanity and a kiss........... sobs. i wish i could do more to ease her pain but she is so strong and wonderful! please give her a nice smooch!

QUELANA - 31

i didnt wanna separate them ........ her wonderful sister! who even taught humans pyromancies! shes smart and nice, and honestly probably needs a kiss.

MILDRED - 30

uh my notes from last night are just

so yeah! thats mildred!

CRESTFALLEN MERCHANT - 29

hes sad as fuck but also... kinda handsome! he was a knight of berenike and made it almost all of the way through sens fortress showing how skilled he is! a strong man like this (inspired by maybe the best kisser in demons souls, boirr) has to be a good kiss!

SIEGMEYER - 28

hes going through a lot right now but... how could u not think siegmeyer is kissable. thats on you man. thats your own character flaw.

OSWALD - 27

ok this might be slightly controversial but i feel like oswald would be a good kisser. if you got past his slightly weird love for velka who well get to (thats just carimites (carimians? carimfolk???)) hes nice and kind and maybe the funkiest character in dark souls

KALAMEET - 26

another cant kiss you but.... kalameet is just so cool ! very shadow the hedgehog and u know what that is NOT a bad thing. you might have a rough time trying to get there, but..... aww whos a good dragon.....

DARKMOON KNIGHTESS - 25

alright the final stretch! the darkmoon knightess is the anor londo firekeeper, and a friend of gwyndolin! shes supposed to be “ugly and shit” (real quote. i would never lie to you) but her model is so cute! defiantly kissable as fuck!

SANCTUARY GUARDIAN - 24

GOFH ITS JUST A WIDDLE KITTEY CAT........... I GIVE IT A WIDDLE KISSEY ON ITS FOREHEAD AHOWHWWAWWW BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALVINA - 23

AWHAHWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHES H(FADOESAGVFOSDHFSO CUET EIFEDKC LKOFIE JS I LOVE YOU FJEADFIDASHCODEUFCUSFKSDHFKSUHFC

DUSK - 22

oh yes!! the princess of a lost land...... will you be her knight in shining armor.......... oh i just love her so much. shes sweet and nice and cute and deserves a kiss or two!! please be nice to my daughter!

SHIVA - 21

hottie with cool armor and a cooler sword. since they cut his whole sidequest i can with all certianty say YES he is super kissable and is probably a great kisser

QUELAAG - 20

IGNORIGN HER GIANT SPIDER LOWERBODY........... SHES JUST DOING THIS FOR HER SISTER SHE JUST WANTS TO HELP HER POOR SISTER WHOS IN PAIN HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE HER SO MUCH!! PLEASE KISS QUELAAG!

GRIGGS - 19

im putting griggs so high cus hes kissable in a factor unseen before...... baby factor. hes soft and nice and is just trying to find his dad! just tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight! its what he deserves!

ARTORIAS - 18

everyone already KNOWS why artorias is a good kisser. hes nice, strong, brave, and most importantly. cool as FUCKING HELL ! HE DOES SICK ANIME FLIPS!! if you can look past the abyss slowly taking him over, youll find a good good boy who deserves a good kiss.

ANASTACIA - 17

the good firekeeper who we spend most of our time with in 1! YES of COURSE Shes kissable. she deserves SO MANY kisses for all of her hard work in keeping the firekeep shrine lit! good job anastacia im sorry lautrec is like that

VELKA GODDESS OF SIN - 16

(just mentioned!)

if her title alone doesnt bring you in, youll be pleased to know shes implied to help watch over priscilla (who well get to hold your horses) and keep the poor girl safe! a strong sense of justice and a love of crows, shes probably an amazing kiss if you can find her!

ANDRE - 15

were closing in on #1 and i just have to throw andre in here. hes so nice and strong! just . please kiss andre! he deserves some he does so much work!

PRISCILLA - 14

poor priscilla. called a monstrous crossbreed and has to hide in a painted world to stay safe from those who would hurt her. including the internet! leave her alone you freaks shes not your fetish fuel!!! she deserves a good kiss on the cheek and a hug for all she has to put up with

CRESTFALLEN WARRIOR - 13

its my list i get to put the crestfallen warrior where i want. and u know what? he would honestly be a good kiss. hes kind and helpful and never once wishes you harm, he just needs to be held tightly and kissed passionately and u know what. dont we all.

GWYNEVERE - 12

she is beautiful but .... 1 shes married and 2 shes not even real! whatever. her husband the flame god flann is at least.......... hot! haahgdaefshdfcdhswfe im so fucking funny

BLACK IRON TARKUS - 11

listen i see a big beefy dude i go “hey thats hot please kiss me” so of course tarkus is this high up hes the beefiest dude around.... right?? anyways all knights of berenike are kissable hes just the MOST kissable of the 3 named ones!

ORNSTEIN - 10

this dude kisses the son of gwyn you KNOW hes a good kiss. the golden lion armor just helps so much. we love you ornstein .....

HAVEL THE ROCK - 9

HERE HE IS ... THE BEEFIEST GUY AROUND ... this bitch uses a DRAGONS TOOTH as a huge club to bash people with if that isnt big dick energy i dont know what is. armor made of stone. heart made of gold. havel the rock please god kiss me passionately under the moonlight .

SIF - 8

oghfoghfohg puppey..................................... SMOOCHIE THE PUPPY>...........

NAMELESS KING (!?) - 7

(hes just mentioned in ds1!!)

I KNOW HES A DS3 BOSS BUT LISTEN TO ME THEY TALK ABOUT HIM SO MUCH IM ALLOWING THIS. he defected from his awful dads team to go help the DRAGONS!! thats so cool hes so kissable. would be more kissable if he wasnt kissing ornstein but thats ok . i respect them both.

MARVELOUS CHESTER - 6

this MAY just because i have a huge crush on him but also here are some good kissable things about him: his fasion, his voice that sounds like a purr, his laugh, his malice, his funny mask, him. thank you for your time.

GWYNDOLIN - 5

FINAL FIVE! heres gwyndolin. the most kissable of all of gwyns children for the sheer fact of how much work they put in to making sure people stay safe and happy. they are so kind and wonderful they deserve SO MANY kisses! good on you gwyndolin....

LAURENTIUS - 4

now heres a fun one! laurentius is one of the nicest guys u will EVER meet in any souls game. he genuinely cares about you, he loves and respects u even if u dont respect him or his skills, hes nice cute and above all: i love him . please kiss laurentius he is a nice guy who just wants the best for u..... dont be mean to him.....................

CAPRA DEMON - 3

the highest one that cant kiss back and thats for the capra demons SHEER HORNY ENERGIES. this is a demon you can fuck! thats it i have nothing else to say i just think the capra demon is funny

SOLAIRE - 2

do i seriously have to explain why solaire is so high up. not only is he nice and cares about you, hes handsome, passionate, and just a good fucking person. he is hands down one of the most kissable characters in any souls game ever! fuck yeah! go off you funky little lover boy!

and finally.

its patches.

#i made this entire list for a joke and u know what the 4 hours i spent on it for the build up was so fucking worth it i dont care #dark souls #soulsborne

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onepunchmiss · 5 years

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OPM s2e6 Live Blog

“The Monster Uprising”

Sorry this is later than usual. I’ve been having some personal issues lately that have been rather time consuming. But anyway yall ain’t here for that! So let’s get on with the episode. As always, I’m watching from the perspective of someone who has read both the manga and web comic

Once again, picking up right where we left off! Suiryu finally makes his fighting debut. He’s been introduced like what, 3 episodes ago? But honestly idgaf about him nearly as much as

MAX MY BOI I KNOW HOW THIS ENDS FOR YOU BUT I’M ROUTING FOR YOU ANYWAY. Oh god I gotta say, I forgot Suirya has a couple nightmare faces yikes. Also, I love how the Sea King keeps having an impact on heroes so long after his defeat. First Prisoner during the alien invasion, then Max and I know in just a bit Snek too. What a villain. Jeez, the mildly ominous music really isn’t subtle about making Suiryu out to be antagonistic, yeah? Also, this is the most we’ve heard him talk so far- Suiryu’s voice is exactly what I imagined I love it. MAX NO ITS OK I LOVE YOU ANYWAY AND SUIRYU IS A DICK ITS FINE YOU DID GREAT

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is the sixth episode this season and i STILL pause every time Zombieman is in the intro. Even his tiny silhouette at the end. just

NGAH BEST ONE YET MY BBY GIRL

Ok ok back to the action. Genos makes a good point and I wonder that, too. Saitama broke his limiter through sheer willpower right, like thats crazy but also not THAT crazy. Is he REALLY the only person EVER to have done that thus far (aside from probably blast)? Thankfully no monster ever has otherwise we’d surely know about it. Is Saitama really just THAT insane? Its not even like he had an extreme desire his whole life, he just beat some crab guy and snapped one day? OH OH GENO’S PHONE OS RINGING MONSTERS! MONSTER! MO N S T ER S ! aw wait no go to the monsters hey

OH WAIT NEVERMIND THIS IS OK SNEK SNEK S N E K OK I actually really like him?? He’s like they show’s resident butt-monkey but also just a good guy.

OH HEY THAATS DIFFERENT!?!? Wow ok so in the manga, it just happened by chance that the cheering in the stadium was so loud that no one heard the monster evacuation alarms, but here they’re setting up Bakuzan preemptively as an asshole who actively disregarded the alarm and everyone’s safety (although he kinda has a point?). Because the way he acts later on is clearly not evil enough already? I feel like that’s unnecessary but it doesn’t add or detract from anything really so whatever I guess?

FUCKIN KEK DAVE. Top tier humor ffs the random mundane name joke will never get old fite me ooh Oh good god OK Choze’s face is also terrifying oh no. Dude you don’t need a monster cell you ALREADY LOOK LIKE ONE but OK

YASSS GENOS SLAY YAAASSSSS He finally wins a few rounds WITHOUT losing any limbs! IM JUST! SO EXCITED TO SEE HIM FIGHTING YASSS WAIT NO GO BACK HEKK so much jumping around is making this more difficult to maintain any semblance of coherency asdfghjk

HAH you know what? When I was rereading the manga and came across face ripper, I thought to myself he looks like he would be some tan/ olive/ pale purple color or something so I bet the anime will be like HAHA RED BITCH. and looky here. I’m catching on finally. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Genos my boy my son you are such a bad ass and I love you hhhhhhhhhhhhhh HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAA AWAKENED COCKROACH AWAKENED COCKROACH ALREADY FUCK THIS EPISODE IS HAPPENING FASTER THAN I ANTICIPATED HECK HECK THERE GOES MY HEART RATE I THOUGHT I WAS PREPARED ALAS I AM BUT A FO O L

HAH I think this is anime-only too?? I dont remember it Why is this so funny what the fuck?? “Dark Hell Killing” Juijitsu omg calm down you absolute edgelord literally half of that name would have been sufficient.

FFFFFFFFFF The slowly building intense music just cut off like- I was so distracted by Bakuzam’s freaky murder face i forgot this happened DAMNIT SAITAMA i NEED my LUNGS to BREATH but no i LAFF and then the silence in the stadium turns to TRIUMPHANT MUSIC as if that was some valiant victory and THAT SOUR FACE FACE FUCK IM DEAD ITS TOO GOOD IM DEAD

Aw Tareo Sweetheart its ok noooooo also side note don’t they also mention Metal Bat is hospitalized? Hey! HEY! TALK ABOUT MY OTHER SON WE DONT EVEN SEE HIM FOREVER HEY oh oh I spoke too soon my b my b

Well shit it’s Shiny vs Shiny jeezus. I don’t have a particular issue with the coloring of Genos’ arms and such but this is just very noticable- Roach could’ve done without the SHINE. Eyyyy a complimentary Sonic for all yall SOS fans out there HAH “No matter it’s still fatal” r u sure about that child r u sure

AAHHH THE WIFE AGAINNNN yo I have A Lot Of Thoughts ™ about the females in OPM that I think I’ll make a separate post about because of the inevitable backlash of Super-S’ design.

OH FUCK COOL SHOT COOL COOL OH FUCK THAT WAS COOL TOO OUT OF NO WHERE hey wait was that supposed to be the Hell Storm attack? WHAT REALLY. AW MAN I was getting hyped about how that would look cmon

Super-S with messed up hair is perfection just saying

Also, Tatsumaki is the definition of Yandere and its terrifying jeez.

Terrifying, but also this. HEK

Aw snekm nooooo I BELIEVE IN YOU OK HES A DICK DONT LISTEN TO HIM YOU JUST WAIT A FEW EPISODES SWEETHEART THEN YOULL SEE

Oh weird dude seeing the Madhouse animation in the middle of season 2 is weird not jarring which is good because at least to me that means JC staff is keeping up well enough but still weirdddd

“Everything about you disgusts me” me too snek DONT LISTEN TO HIM HES A DICK

((((((((((((((((((((ew amai mask go away)))))))))))))))))))))

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I SCREAM FOR THE FIRST TIME OUT LOUD I WAS HONESTLY DOUBTING HED BE SHOWN CAUSE THEY SKIPPED SOME OTHER MONSTERS BEFORE BUT THERE HE IS NYAN NYANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

OOF OUCH I FELT THAT KICK THE IMPACT IN MY BONES

ok post credits scene i have an idea of what it might be and I’m shaking in my seat but hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK

yoooooooooooooooooooooo I WAS NOT IMAGINING GYOROS VOICE LIKE THAT HONESTLY I WAS READING IN ALL IN URSULA’S VOICE LIKE FROM THE LITTLE MERMAID BUT OK THIS IS GOOD OH FUCK GOUKETSU OH HECK OK HEY AT LEAST HES NOT RAINBOW COLORED BUT HECK OH GENOS NO

OH HEY BITCH YOU DIDNT DO SHIT AGAINST METAL BAT YOU GOT LUCKY HE DOESNT COUNT

THERE IS LITERALLY NO AVOIDING IT NOW NEXT WEEK CHILD EMPEROR MY DEAR AND DRIVE KNIGHT AT THE VERY LEAST LIKE THIS IS LITERALLY CONFIRMED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Good Episode GOOD EPISODE OK so my least favorite thing easily was the cop-out on Fubuki’s Hell Storm attack but otherwise my favorite thing was??? I dont know?? Like this episode was a lot of build up for next week’s episode but also so much happened anyway?? I loved seeing Genos in action and also BDSM Wife AND OROCHI AND GYORO and also also I know a lot of people have an issue with the existence of the tournament thing in general but I don’t mind it because its hilarious honestly and all of the happenings otherwise feel well balanced enough sooooooooo yeah I’m SO PUMPED for next week like bring me THE S CLASS BRING ME BRING

#opmiss mumbling #one punch man #live blogging #opm #s2e6 #s2e18 #super-s #genos #saitama #fubuki #tatsumaki #pig god #lightning max #suiryu #snek #nyan #orochi #gyoro gyoro

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wheresmaldo865 · 5 years

Text

ShinsoXReader Valentine Day Special Featuring Song Dead Girl walking from the Heathers

Happy Valentines day! I got this idea in my head and decided to type this up. I originally wanted to do it for Bokugo but wanted to extend my characters palette... since my inbox is always empty :(

But any way, full steam ahead! I didn’t really get the chance to do detailed editing so please forgive me if theres any errors. Also the song is a little out of order so that some things make more sense.

Also, someone please tell me how to properly spell this kids name. I seen it boths ways with and without a u 😭

There a little doodle of Shinsou at the end 😉

Warning: Vanilla smut (Nothing detailed)

Word Count: 1752

‘The Demon queen of high school has decreed it, she says Monday, 8am I will be deleted. They’ll hunt me down in study hall. Stuff and mount me on the wall. Thirty hours to live, how shall I spend them?’

Standing there in a ghostly empty party room was the worst nightmare anyone could have imagined. A ruptured friendship. Three ugly sisters with more power then they deserved. Yet, she forgot.

She had put herself into this whole mess. She had wanted to be part of the ugly sister comment. The bitter sweet sensation had brought her satisfaction and acceptance between her other peers.

Now it was… only bitter.

Because (Y/n) had even had the audacity to stand against them. They made it a public statement to make her live a living hell. As if the room hadn’t already been hot before.

Her palms were sweaty from the wild night she had. Her school uniform stuck to her cold skin a bit to tightly. (Y/n) collar seemed to squeeze tighter, and tighter as the night went on.

I don’t have to stay and die like cattle. I could change my name and ride up to Seattle. But I don’t own a motorbike.

(Y/n) contemplated the endless options she could muster. Running away to the next town… or a town across the seas. Her parents didn’t need to know. No one needed to know anything. However, the more she thought upon one idea. The more ridiculous it ended up sounding. Even in her own head.

So, she continued on her way home. The summer night was overwhelmingly stuffy. Large beads of sweat formed on her forehead and rolled down her red cheeks. Right about now she wished for nothing more than a cold shower to run down her spine.

Y/n) spotted a window spilling light onto the side walk. Her eyes followed the beam of light to a room seated on a two-story building. She could a shadow of a figure walk by. Long spoffy hair poking out from all angles of his head. (Y/n) chuckled to herself.

She knew who the lavender purple hair belonged to.

There was suddenly an interrupting thought that came into her mind. Something devious, something… naughty. The liquor in her blood burned and set her body a flame. Desire hit her with a bus, especially in the lower area. The more she played with the idea. The wetter she became.

Wait, here an option that I like. Spend these thirty hours getting freaky!

Yeah!

I need it hard. I’m a dead girl walking!

(Y/n) marched her pretty little face right up to the door of Shinsou’s house. The blood in her veins mixed with the alcohol pumped excitedly. She was feeling too good to turn back. There was no hesitation in her hands as she lifted it to ring the doorbell twice.

She waited patiently for the door to open.

I’m in your yeard. I’m a dead girling walking. Before they punch my clock. I’m snapping off your window lock. Got no time to knock. I’m a dead girl walking…

The door finally opened. She was greated by the man himself, Hitoshi Shinsou. Someone she saw frequently in her life and had… affections toward. One could say the feelings were returned. There was only one way to find out now.

“(Y/n)? What’re you doing in my house?”

She smiled innocently. She took her pointer finger and pressed it gently onto Shinsou lips. She found it amusing the way his eyes went wide. A blush slowly creeping its way onto his face.

“Shhhh.”

Once Shinsou had finally regained his courage, he took her by the hand and led her inside. To him it was evident she wasn’t all put together, as she usually was. Before she could say anything more, he sat her up in his room. Giving her some water and medicine to replace the hangover pain she may have in the morning.

“Better?” He asked with a soft smile.

She nodded. Though the courage in her heart did not disappeared with the buzz. (Y/n) scooted her body closer to his. Their shoulders, legs, and arms bumping in several places. The blushed rushed back to his, but he didn’t move away from her. Her perfume flooded his senses. Rooting him in his place.

Sorry, but I really had to wake you. See, I decided I must ride you ‘til I break you.

The blush on Shinsou’s cheeks traveled evenly to the rest of his face. He was completely blown away by the words that had just come out of his dear friends’ mouth.

Of course, he adored his friend. He would risk life and limb for the women before him. On the other hand, this hadn’t been the way he had planned to confess to such a lovely girl.

She was rubbing up against him in a way he almost couldn’t say no. Shinsou gently grabbed her by the shoulders and forced himself to pause for a moment. He had to be sincere now. For her sake.

“Wait, wait! What has gotten into you?”

‘Cause Heather says I gots to go. You’re my last meal on death row. Shut your mouth and lose them tighty whiteys”

(Y/n) turned the table on him. She wiggled her way around him. Pinning him underneath her on his bed. There was her scent again, intoxicating his mind. The way she moved to sit upon his waist did the unimaginable to him. He was beginning to feel tight in the jeans he wore.

He shot up again. As much as Shinsou wanted this. The desire for her consent grew bigger than anything poking in his pants. He would hate himself for several eternities if she regretted this in the end.

“Wait.” The word fell firmly to (Y/n) ears. Her giggles became put aside. She starred wide eyes and locked eyes with Shinsou Listening attentively to what he had to say to her.

Shinsou’s eyes closed for a moment. He simply let himself be present in her presence. Allowing him to short his desires and feelings.

“I…” He started but couldn’t finished until another second passed. “I have cherished you… for what seems like forever now. Watching you become such a powerful hero and wonderful friend. I would do anything to protect you from any harm. Even if that means it’s from myself. So, I have to know. You have to be certain.”

Shinsou toned shifted from his love filled admiration to an urgent one. What he said next was a serious matter to him.

“You have to be certain this is what you want. With me. A life and a future with someone like me. Otherwise, I’ll make sure you get home safe.”

Shinsou’s room became painfully silent for a few moments. (Y/n) eyes traveled to his chest. Perhaps trying to dissect his rapidly beat heart for sincerity. When she came back to meet his gaze… Shinsou had a feeling she had her answer.

A soft smile graced her lips. Her face was so close to his he could taste the drink she had on his tongue.

And you know, you know, you know. Its cause you’re beautiful. You say you’re numb inside, but I can’t agree. So the worlds unfair. Keep it locked out there. In Here it’s beautiful. Let’s make this beautiful!”

Her lips were on his in an instant. Her hands slide across his chest and up to his neck. Losing themselves in his wild hair. It took him a moment to register what was finally happening. Once he knew, boy. Did he respond. His arms found their way around (Y/n) waist and brought her closer to him. It didn’t take long before the grinding became heated. Kisses became hastily sloppy. Hands were slipping into places never touched by anyone else.

One by one, clothes were beginning to come off.

Tonight, I’m yours. I’m your dead girl walking! Get on all fours! Kiss this dead girl walking. Let’s, go you know the drill. I’m hot and pissed and on the pill. Bow down to the will- Of a dead girl walking!

Shinsou had (Y/n) pinned down to his bed. His pillowed framing her face perfect, though her hair was already becoming a mess. The face she was giving him still droves his desire. He wanted you immediately. It was only a matter of time before Shinsou had his thumb hooked on the pants and panties (Y/n) had chosen to wear. Sliding them off her smooth (S/c) legs. The new cool air rubbing against her sex produced a whimper from her throat. Shinsou chuckled lighty at the reaction.

He then removed his own shirt. Moving to then remove hers. He plucked the buttons one by one. The bra she wore was gone in a second. Revealing her total naked body to him. A sculpture he could marvel in for hours if he was given the time.

Full steam ahead. Take this dead girl walking! Lets break the bed. Rock this dead girl walking. No sleep tonight for you. Better chug that Mountain Dew! Get your ass in gear. Make this whole town disappear.

(Y/n) rose up from her place. Starling Shinsou slightly. He let out a small yelp when he found himself on his back again. His face turned red again when (Y/n) undid the buckle of his pants and ran them down impatiently. As if he would run away when the clock struck 12.

Her mouth found his member way too quickly for Shinsou to take. A loud groan caught him off guard as her wet lips wrapped around him. Her tongue swirling in all the right spots. Another growl ripped through his teeth when the full length of him hit the back of her throat. Combined with rhythmic pumping of her mouth and hand was almost too much for him. Shinsou had to protest for a stop before he would be completely spent.

Sitting up and looking into (Y/n). He couldn’t be filled with anymore lust before her burst. It only took another minute for (Y/n) to lay on her back. Shinsou nestling himself between her legs. Teasing her wet entrance.

A single push at the hip was all it took for him to be completely inside her.

The rest of the night Shinsou and (Y/n) spent their new-found time tangled in each other. Pleasure and it each touch filled with loving passion. They shared every moment they could. Hot breathes, moans and kisses coming from their lips.

#my hero academia #shinso hitoshi #shinsō hitoshi #shinsou x reader #mha shinsou #bnha shinsou

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queen-ofthe-pumpkinpatch · 5 years

Text

The Reluctant Countess: Chapter Five

Also available to read on Fictionpress under the same name. (There’s a link in my sidebar.)

Story Summary: When another plague outbreak arrives on the shores of the Black Sea in 1667, wealthy merchant’s daughter Rosalind is forced to flee her comfortable life for the relative safety of a remote village in the Carpathian Mountains. But she soon finds the humble village harbors a sinister secret and a haunted past.

A “Beauty and the Beast”-inspired vampire story, rated T for some violence. (The romance itself is going to be rated PG.)

Rosalind did not know what else to say to her aunt without contradicting her. They finished their gruel in prickly silence, broken only by the clink of their spoons. She could feel Ioana watching her with a frustrated intensity, but she chose not to acknowledge it. She could try to respect the superstitions of others, but she could not agree to live in fear and ignorance like her neighbors did.

The world is much wider and greater than any of these people will ever know, Rosalind thought. Maybe if they traveled more than a few miles from home once in a while, or read a book other than the Bible, they would understand.

As they washed up the dishes from their breakfast, they heard a voice outside that signified Faruk was also awake. Ioana drew aside the threadbare curtain. Faruk was on his prayer mat, presumably facing Mecca, and bowed in prayer.

Rosalind could hear her aunt muttering something under her breath about “heathen worship” and “devilry,” but before Ioana could march over and interrupt Faruk’s invocations, Rosalind held her back by the elbow.

“He’s saying his morning prayers, as we just did ourselves,” she pointed out quietly. “There’s no harm in it.”

“I said he could stay in this house,” Ioana said in a clipped tone. “That doesn’t mean his foreign rituals are welcome.”

Dear God, I hope Faruk cannot hear our conversation from here, Rosalind thought, groaning internally. The walls of this house were meager enough that it seemed likely.

Rosalind could only speak a little Arabic that she had picked up from her tutors, but it was enough to understand the substance of Faruk’s prayers. If an appeal to reason and tolerance did not move her aunt, then perhaps an appeal to her familial duty would.

“Aunt Ioana, it’s a prayer for the dead. He’s praying for my father’s soul; they were good friends. Please leave him be.”

I know you aren’t as cold and hard as you pretend to be, Rosalind wished she could say, pleading instead with her eyes. Her aunt exhaled in a sharp gust, and as if expelling her annoyance in the same breath, her taut posture relaxed.

“When he’s finished, tell him the stable needs cleaning,” Ioana said.

“So what will you do now?”

Faruk paused in his shoveling and looked back at Rosalind over his shoulder. “What do you mean?”

Rosalind shrugged, keeping her eyes fixed on the fresh straw she was strewing over the stable floors. “I mean, you’ve fulfilled the promise you made to my father, haven’t you? You’ve delivered me safely to my family. But I doubt you were planning on remaining here indefinitely. Your education and skillset aren’t exactly in high demand here.”

“No, I suppose they are not,” he agreed with a wry smile.

“So will you…will you be going back?” Rosalind could not keep her tone as nonchalant as she wanted.

Faruk sighed heavily. “Constanta is not safe at present. The quarantine is likely still in effect. But you are right, I did not intend to live permanently in Vseník.”

She bit her lip. She wanted to ask him, please don’t leave me alone here, you’re my only friend, but she knew how selfish a request it would be. He had a life of his own to lead, and he had no reason to sequester himself in some backward alpine village that did not welcome him.

“Of course, it would be a waste if your vast knowledge and inquiring mind was trapped here, where they won’t be appreciated,” she said, forcing a smile. “Will you be going home to Istanbul, then?”

He hesitated. “I will. But not yet. There is still a portion of my promise that I have yet to fulfill.”

She looked at him inquiringly.

“I told your father that I would see you well-married and settled before I moved on,” he admitted, his eyes crinkling at the corners as if anticipating her displeasure. “Since he was not able to discharge that paternal duty himself.”

“Ah.” Rosalind felt her stomach sinking. “I’m sorry, Faruk. You might be waiting a long time.”

She was not utterly opposed to matrimony, or even to the idea of a practical match. She had always assumed that someday she would need to choose someone level-headed, financially stable, and preferably from a good family. Her father had hoped their money, tainted though it was by trade, might even tempt a landowning family to make an offer.

But he had always, always insisted they would find a husband Rosalind could respect, and even grow to care for.

Passion is what drew your mother and I together, her father had told her when she turned sixteen. It wasn’t sensible and we were much too young, too poor. I don’t want that kind of uncertainty and danger for you. But I don’t want you trapped in a union that suffocates you, either. Your mind is too sharp to throw it away on some dull clod. We’ll find a happy medium, my girl, I know we will.

At the time, that prospect had seemed realistic. Under the present circumstances, however…

“Somehow I doubt there’s a suitable husband for me among the dozen or so bachelors in this village,” Rosalind said with a nervous laugh. “At least, by my father’s standards.”

Faruk sighed, leaning on his shovel thoughtfully. “Perhaps we will both be pleasantly surprised.”

After the stables were cleaned out and the horses fed, Rosalind was sent to the cistern in the town square to fetch water. It must have been a customary chore at this point in the morning, for there was already a long queue of women, young and old, with jugs and jars balanced on their hips or on top of their heads. There was much chattering and friendly gossip among those waiting their turn. But when Rosalind joined the line, the two women nearest ceased their spirited discussion and stole furtive glances at her.

Rosalind stood tall and firm, refusing to blush or appear cowed. She would not be embarrassed by the rudeness of others.

She had almost reached the front of the queue when a hush fell suddenly over the women. They all seemed to be looking at someone behind Rosalind. She did not seem remarkable to Rosalind—a woman of about thirty, auburn hair tucked back into a white kerchief, muscular arms from lifting and laboring. She wore a homespun gown and apron just like the other women here. So why did the crowd part at her arrival, and silently let her pass to the front of the line?

It did not seem like they favored her out of respect, for the other women watched her with narrowed eyes. As the stranger passed, Rosalind saw a silver charm gleaming at her neck: a hand reaching out with pinky and thumb extended, an eye inscribed in its palm. It was a symbol to ward off the Evil Eye, which Rosalind had seen Jewish women wear back home.

When the Jewish woman passed her again with a full jug of water, she briefly caught Rosalind’s gaze. She had largely ignored her rude Christian neighbors with placid defiance, but she paused for a moment at Rosalind. The expression in her hazel eyes was not one of curiosity, or even hostility, but seemed oddly like recognition and pity. Before Rosalind could unscramble her thoughts enough to speak to the woman, she shook her head once as if resigned, and continued on.

What was that all about? Rosalind wondered. There was something unsettling about the interaction, as if the woman had known something she herself did not.

One of the matrons in front of Rosalind bent toward her and whispered, “That’s Judith. She works for Him. Our Lord, I mean.”

On her walk home, Rosalind tried to simply focus on not spilling her precariously full jug of water, but she could not shake the prickling feeling on the back of her neck. She did not believe in omens; she was a skeptic. She was inclined to search for natural and rational explanations before turning to superstition and magic. But the atmosphere of this village was so strange and disconcerting that her stomach twisted constantly with apprehension.

Something was wrong here. And she almost dreaded finding out what.

Exhausted by her chores that day, Rosalind fell asleep almost the moment her aunt blew out the feeble candle. But she did not find rest or oblivion.

Her dreams were meandering and endless. She felt like she was falling backwards through a deep, narrow shaft in the earth, the sunlight up above fading to a tiny pinprick, nothing to catch her fall but empty space. And as she tumbled through that dark tunnel, the air grew colder until she lost all feeling in her fingers and toes. There was nothing but the dark and the cold and the smell of freshly-turned earth.

Her dream-self screamed and screamed, but no sound escaped her dry throat.

Waking was a sluggish, gradual process. First she became aware of how stiff and rigid she seemed to be lying. It felt as if her bed beneath her had been replaced with a slab of stone. The surface beneath her fingertips was damp and slick. The air smelled musty and stale. Rosalind was disoriented from her dreams, and before she dared open her eyes, she tried to sort through what was real and what was just a nightmare.

It was all just in my head, she thought with a swell of relief. How ridiculous I was to be so terrified! But it felt so real at the time. When I open my eyes, I’ll be in the bedroom with my aunt and Faruk.

Dim, flickering golden light met her eyes when she managed to wrench them open.

She didn’t know this place.

She was still in her fine linen nightdress, but someone had placed a woolen blanket over her. The hard, smooth surface under her turned out to be a stone dais; the flickering light came from the circle of half-melted candles around her. On either side of her were two stone sarcophagi topped with intricate marble effigies—on her right, a veiled noblewoman holding a rosary studded with glimmering rubies, and on her left, an armored knight clutching a sword in his only hand.

On the clammy rock-hewn walls was a bas-relief carving of skeletons holding hands in a courtly dance. Beneath it, the admonition Memento Mori.

Rosalind sat up slowly, trying to get her bearings. What am I doing here? Looking at the moisture on the rough walls, she wondered, Is this some kind of…tomb or catacomb underground?

Before she could contemplate the potential horror of a premature burial, her roaming eyes were drawn to a dark corner. Someone was watching her in silence.

#my fiction #historical fiction #vampire fiction #what's this?? two updates in one week??#who even am i anymore??

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freerebelmentality · 7 years

Text

For the love of music

AN: Alright this is the first version that has mentions of characters from another show. Please dont get mad at me for causing such grief with those characters. This is the first part

Word Count: 2,058

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For days you have been exploring the little town of Charming. Since moving you have made a great deal of friends who lived in your neighbourhood and whom you work with. It was a weekend and you wanted to check out the little cafe that had a patio out front.

“What can I get you to drink?” The cashier asks putting on a fake smile.

You already knew she was having a bad day and didnt want to complicate your order. Luckily the place wasnt that busy either which is a good thing for the both of you. She looked as though she wanted to get away from the till and you just wanted a nice quiet place to read.

“I’ll have the medium roast” You reply while she gives you a genuine smile and places the order for you.

You hand her the money and something extra while she mouths her thanks. You see an empty arm chair by the window and seat yourself as you pull out your book. The cashier turns on the music and thankfully its classical music. Something you have always loved. Its a favourite by Mozart.

“I got to stop here and pick up some coffee. Ran out this morning” Chibs says to his VP while the others follow Jax back to the club after doing some business.

As soon he parked his bike and turned it off is when he saw you sitting in front of him really. He walked into the cafe, his eyes still locked on you while he makes his way to the counter.

“Hey Chibs” The cashier greets the man that comes into the cafe.

You look up from your book and see him. He looked like the type your father told you to stay away from, like the authors depicted as the bad boy or even at times. The villain. Aside from that there was something about him that got your attention, it wasnt the kutte he was wearing or the tattoos that were visible to you but something special.

“Aye Lass. How is yer day” He asks before making his order

“Not so great, a few customers being complete douche bags and after that just been messing up orders all day” The cashier tells him

“The day is almost over. Ye come across pricks again just add in salt in their coffees, they wont know a difference” He says while making the cashier smile and laugh.

You liked the fact he made someone feel better about the day.

“Thanks, the usual?” She asks while getting the cup ready.

“Aye and my special blend” He says while taking his wallet out but the cashier waves it off.

“If I cant pay then I will tip” He says while smiling to her.

You melted at the sound of his voice, his accent, his charm and wondered what else could be unveiled.

“Whose the lass by the window?” He asks leaning on the counter whispering into the cashiers ear.

“I have no idea, she seems nice and she tipped me too” She says with a shrug and a smile.

“I better get going. See ye love” He says to her and looks to you toasting to coffee while you nod.

For the past few weeks Chibs has been seeing you all over town. From the cafe to the grocery store, book store and out of a music store. He got curious in what type of music you listened to, what types of books you read. Everything about you made him curious.

Until one day you came into the shop, your car was giving you trouble and you tried fixing it yourself but after a while would break down again. Your brother and dad taught you everything about cars but you couldnt work on it because everything still hurt.

Chibs sees the prospect walk towards you and ask what was wrong with your car until he came walking out of the garage.

“Its alright, I can take care of er” The man with the beautiful accent says while the younger looking man walked away from you.

“What seems to be the problem?” He asks looking at you and the eyeing the car

“Well my car has been acting up, radiator has been over heating and giving me a hard after trying to fix it myself. If its not the radiator then its the fuel line, oil leaks out to quickly and I forgot how to fix that” You tell the man while he eye balls your car.

“Let me guess. 1967 Cheverolet Impala?” He asks in a wide smile

“Yeah” You simply answer while feeling nervous

“I can take care of that for ye but its going to be a few days. Old car, parts hard to find” He says while writing up everything you have told him about the car.

“Whats yer name?” He asks while putting the pen away

“Y/n. Yours?” You ask trying to calm your nerves.

“Filip but you can call me Chibs” He answers as he takes out his hand for you to shake which you do right away.

“Ok. Filip” You say while shaking his hand, he looks to you with a faint smile on his face by the name you have called him.

“Do ye have any where else to be?” He asks in hopes you would stay a bit longer.

“Yeah, I need to be at work and I have someone picking me up” You tell him while looking to your watch

“Ye want a drink?” He asks while pointing to the club house

“Sure, I wouldnt mind a drink after the stress the car has been giving me” You reply with a smile on your face.

“Let me send a quick text to my friend and tell her where I’ll be waiting when she gets here” You tell him while you bring out your phone to send out a quick text.

Once inside is when he introduces you to his brothers. Bobby, Happy, Juice, and Kozik. Tig, Clay and Jax were out on club business. You enjoyed their company while Chibs talked about your car and how the others marvelled about the classic car.

“You have any family living here why you moved to Charming?” Bobby asks getting to know a little bit more about you.

“Nah, family I had left are gone. Accident gone wrong while on the job” Is all you say while they tell you their condolences.

“What kind of accident?” Juice asks looking to you.

You didnt want to answer until you heard your name being called and thankfully its your friend coming to pick you up for work.

“It was nice meeting you boys. Filip, thanks for the drinks and hopefully to see you all soon” You tell them as you get up.

“Before ye go, would ye like to go out for dinner with me?” Chibs asks before you walk out the door

“Well you have all my info. Call me” You tell him and walk out with your friend.

You walk out and get into her truck. While she drives away from the auto shop is when she asked how you met him. You explained the meet was fairly recent and she started to tell you about the guys being a motorcycle gang and the bad stuff that came with their business. You didnt think it was bad considering what you used to do for a living. You thought they were completely innocent with breaking the law.

You saw the nightmares of the world, the nightmares anyone didnt know existed and to finish it all off. Your brothers did the unthinkable, fighting to close the gates of hell right up until they died and when it was all over your brothers made you promise that you would go on and live an apple pie life. What ever that meant.

“What else do you know about her?” Juice asks looking to Chibs

“I know she likes to read and listen to music” He simply answers after finishing off his beer.

“Thats it?” He asks in complete shock

“Well I didnt have the time to stop her and ask all these questions. I know just as much as ye know” He says while getting up from the stool and walking out the door to get started on working on your car.

You were right about the problems you are having with the car and he needed to replace the radiator, fuel and oil line. He checked the entire car to see what else needed to be fixed, he turns on the engine and she roared to life minus noises coming from the radiator. He noticed a rattling noise coming from the vents of the car and wondered why you never said anything about that.

He had a feeling the rattling was something special and he left it alone. He moved around to see if he can spot anything that will give him something about you. He lifted the fabric in the backseat and noticed three sets of initials. D.W, S.W, Y/I.W. He smiled at yours but once he saw the other two is when his heart sank when he remembered ‘Family I had left are gone’

He finally realized how special the car is to you and he didnt touch anything on the inside but worked on the outside of the car. He got on the phone and ordered the parts you needed and got extras for just in case another break down were to occur.

Juice did some digging about you and what he found was something that disturbed him a little but later found out why you didnt want to talk about your family. They had gotten into a car crash that eventually killed your dad along with your brothers but leaving you to walk away with very little injury.

You made your friend change the records who worked with the FBI, leaving your records open. He needed to tell Chibs what he has found on you.

“Rat, go get Chibs for me” Juice says while he walks out the door and finds him in the garage working on your car.

“What is it Juicey?” Chibs asks once he sees him sitting in front of his lap top.

“I looked in y/n. I couldnt help it but I found a few disturbing things” Juice says while turning his laptop towards Chibs so that he could get a better look.

“Grave desecration, breaking and entering, suspect in multiple homicides, credit card fraud and three counts of first degree murder” Chibs reads out the record you have wrapped up. Its as bad as your brothers Deans.

“Jesus” Is all Bobby says while looking to his brothers.

“All acquitted” Juice adds while looking to Chibs wondering if he should worry about him getting involved with you.

“Should we worry?” Juice asks looking to Chibs

“You think we are innocent?” Happy asks looking between Chibs and Juice

“But this is some gruesome shit” Juice says pointing to the laptop screen.

“What about a D Winchester and a S Winchester?” Chibs asks in a hushed tone

“I can look that up right now” Juice says while typing in the initial and last name.

A bigger wrap sheet pulled up for your brother Dean and a not so bad looking one for Sam.

“Dean Winchester, deceased. Brother of Sam and Y/n Winchester. Children of John and Mary Winchester. All of which deceased” Juice says while looking further into his record.

“Jesus fucking Christ, she wasnt lying about that” Kozik says while finishing off his beer.

“Her brother Dean is just as bad but worse. His was never acquitted. He was wanted in Missouri and just like y/n wanted in Arkansas along with their brother Sam” Juice continues on reading about your brothers.

“What charter they from?” Bobby asks looking to Juice

“None” Juice answers him

Chibs walks out of the club house wondering what you have been hiding. He couldnt just ask you randomly because he just met you and he didnt want to cancel out on the date either. Something was pulling him towards you. He went back into the garage and continued working on your car. He sees the trunk and decided he was going to look into it once its closing time and everyone goes home.

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theabandonedfeelings-blog · 6 years

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The Infinites

Being a part of this instant family (to me) is one of the most precious thing that ever happened to me. Imo, to meet them was the best thing I experienced in my 2017. We consisted of 8 people. We may look normal, but actually we are real dorks.We have different characters and personality, ofcourse. But fortunately we blended and matched each other so well. I was always so quite and preserve whenever Im with new people, but with them, it is indeed, an exceptional. Being an introvert didnt even help me, but they did, help me. KKN era forced me to adapt faster than I usually did, because we only had 45 days, right? I wasnt even familiar with the idea of 'living with some strangers and doing things together with some strangers'. It was my biggest nightmare to live with people other than family. But KKN really changed the way I perceived something.

There were times when I just wanted to be alone. Whenever Im in my solitary moment, one of them would came up to me, asked, "What are you doing here all alone? Can i join?". Thats why I never been alone while at KKN bcs they always nongol one by one and joined my dont-disturb-me-i-want-to-be-alone-for-a-while corner. Whatevs I did and whenever i went, they could always find me. And somehow I felt thankful for that. That was how they invaded my personal spaces, and made me realize that no matter how introvert you are, you will find comforts if you are being surrounded by the right people.

We named our self The Infinite Team. We had a deep philosophy meaning behind that name. Our group consists of 8 people, eight means infinite. By 'infinite' we hoped that our spirit will be infinity to face infinity problematics that we had when KKN. Sounded cheesy, we knew. But we strived to meet the expectations. We hoped we exceed people expectation by carrying that name. Yea, that name meant alot for us. Others group would consisted of 9 or 10, but since we were only 8 we received less amount of money from uni. It didnt bother us that much. But, our concern was the amount of people we had. We were 2x more tired bcs we lacked of people, compared to others. We used to have double job, cover each other position while finishing our own jobdesk. The plus is : our posko was actually a small house with 3 rooms. By having 8 members we could save space and EVEN WATER (oh god thankyou). We didnt have to queue for too long to take a bath or shalat. We divided the household chores fairly, ex doing dishes (2 people in each meal time), doing laundry (2-4 people in a day), house cleaning, and cooking. We usually did the turn by playing some games. Tho its childish but we found it fun. We used to play UNO every night. Or when we got bored of UNO we switched to other card games, like bohong, werewolf, speed, obat nyamuk, and etc. We used to arrange our schedule every ba'da isya by writing some to do lists in the whiteboard. After Maghrib,I turned the TV and I got scolded alot bcs i always watched naruto. Its not because they dislike naruto, but it was bcs that Naruto eps was being replayed over and over again that they fed up with it. But they still watched it anyway lol, I know you guys would still like it, stop complaining.

Every Saturday noon, we sat together to watch master chef and ninja warrior (our life saver). In Sunday morning we spent some times by having breakfast and watching Doraemon. Every once in a week we went out to eat at some random warung by using 'uang kehidupan'. We would get 'scholarship' to eat gratisan from that uang kehidupan. Yeah we had this habit to give nicknames in every thing. We called a bunch of snacks with 'uang rakyat' bcs we bought it with money from uni. We named our family room with 'ohana room' bcs Ohana means family. We named our flashlights 'Sumber kehidupan' bcs idk?. We named one of our room the 'before after room' bcs we used it to do make up. We had a room called 'logistics room' bcs thats where we keep our logistics. We named a guling as 'Oji's boyfriend' bcs thats how jones she were. We gave a nickname to a middle schooler as 'elsa' because his hands were always cold. And oh, we even gave name to our lovely live safer, 3 motors that we brought along from solo. They are ABut, plat K, and dolphino. We also had 2 cats, named Mendes and Alex. And these are the infinites :

1. Amel

Amel is that person who was in charge of cooking. She liked to take a nap at 13.00 and woke up at 14.30 straightly. She went to sleep early than any other people. She is actually a year older than the rest of us but she is the most innocent. One day she copied Dimma's pick up line, "WTF", thinking it means "astaga" in bahasa indo. She used that word for a week straight until we told her the actual meaning of that phrase. Her favorite activity consisted of taking photos and selfie, and update them on socmeds. She is the softest from all of us tho. She was also in charge of some updates in our instagram. She always got the most numerous bullies but she always nevermind. She could always laughed even for some lame jokes. She likes Spongebob, even she laughed like spongebob. She always lost whenever she plays game. But she tried hard in every Zombie vs Plants game and even counter strikes. One day, i saw her cry in the backyard but i didnt approach her bcs i thought whenever someone's crying I want to give them their space. I thought I would asked her whe she's feeling better, but dammit I forgot, like at all. Im sorry mel, i love you.

2. Ayub

Ayub is our Koordinator Desa or Kordes. He is practically our leader. But he somehow didnt act like a leader. He is the laziest person in this team. We picked him only because his home is in Pati, the Kabupaten we lived in. Ayub is the most narsis person i have ever known. His personality in 16personalities proved that he had the most common personality (16% of the amount of population in the world). He is the antithesis of my personality. He is so extrovert and comfortable to share his thing. He was always plays music using speaker every morning. At first we didnt bother with it, but slowly it annoyed us because his playlist was so damn lame. I knew he was always a dork but, come on, who would download covered songs with clapping sounds in the background. You can just download the actual song instead, Yub, smh. We used to hid that damn speaker to prevent Ayub for playing his music in the early morning. They gave the speaker to me and hoped that I would play better playlists, but I dissapointed them right after bcs i only had 4 songs, and it was all Taylor swift songs. But aside from his weird music taste, he is good at cooking. His level is far higher than mine. He likes to learn new things like the cup song, english, UNO, and even being doctor (we had 2 medical students). He likes to play badminton and always criticized at how I play. He was also dumb at times. But overall, he is a good person.

3. Azis

Azis whose name is everywhere is the most receh person. His jokes were always so lame that sometimes it could make us mad at him. We had to pretend that we didnt hear him joking in order to stop his lame jokes. Aside from that, he is a hardworking person. He is in charge of being the most religious person but somehow he had the dirtiest mind among us. He once said to me that in his campus life, he's known as quiet and preserve type which is the vice versa of the personality he had in KKN. He always had me to do chores and force me to buy things like flour, egg, and etc. His motor is Dolphino. He is the one who always complain at everything. And always saying things that triggered us but ended it like, 'Guys why would you do something stupid like this, CAN I JOIN'. He is dork af but in front of childrens he always in serious mode activated. His works often being underapreciate but he never failed us, always treated us good. He was like our human-reminder. He remind us time to time for some small details. "Guys dont forget that tmrw we still have 100 things to do, lets sleep before its too late". Or. "Guys, did you remember what pak kades said about xxxxx?". Or. "Dont forget to buy this and that." Thankyou for your concern, zis. Just knew that we were bunch of forgetful people, without him, we'd be lost.

4. Bela

Bela was the only one who constantly doing her puasa senin-kamis while KKN. Thats why we gave her exception by ousting her from doing dishes. She might be the most sensitive person among us, but she was also caring and considerate. She is younger than me, but she's all matured. She was the alternate kordes whenever Ayub's not in good mood to talk. She had alotta secret admirers, from children to abang penjual pentol istimewa. She is good with elder people. We can talk about almost everything. Tho she spent the most of time doing make up, she's actually not that girly. She was my partner in magang, doing laundry, and dishes. She was my life saver whenever im lazy driving the motor. Her motor named ABut, and it was my fave.

5. Dimma

Dimma whose name is soooo long is the one who took his most KKN time by annoying others with his childish behaviour. Indeed he is the youngest of our team. He is lowkey soft and caring. He onced renewed ABut's oli, he brought us food even without us asking, he made sure that everyone got their rights. He's just our precious youngest. He's good at fixing electronical problems. He was my partner in everyday's life. He took me round the village and helped me filmed using dslr. He gave me input and critics abt my editing. He was my partner on doing dishes. He laughed with me tho its past midnight while we did our own works and the others were mad at us bcs they were sleeping. He was the one who accompanied me stargazing in teras. One day we had to begadang because it was almost deadline and we havent finished our works. He was doing his presentations and I was busy doing the after movie. We were working quitely on our own works bcs we didnt want to disturb the others bcs our sounds. At 01.00 am we got tired and i asked him random things but we ended up having a serious deep talk about life. He was the one who made fun of my name by calling me Karizzza. It annoyed me at first, but I was sorta get used with my name being made fun of. I once told them that my name is meaningless (i didnt mean to say like that, it was because im mad). But in the end, at his letter he told me this, "The name in which you think is meaningless actually have a great meaning, it is a hope and prayer from your parents. It defines how strong you were and what you will be in the future. Dont hate your name okay." And that was everyone, the first time he ever called me Karizsa.

6. Iim

I cannot find proper words to describe how grateful i am to be in the same team with her. She is, as everybody knows, my bestfriend in campus. We are in the same class and even in the same queer. She is so critical, open minded, respectful, thoughtful, and reliable + dependable. She is full package. She always ordered to be MC in everty formal event. She ate the most than the rest of us, but she didnt gain weight. She's known for her smol and short figure and always busy with her phone. She had her most time by catching up news and watching GOT spoiler on yutub. We had the same obsession with Blackpink's song As if it your last. We came from the same faculty, so our way of thinking were more in political way. Thats why sometimes our opinions were divided between them and me & iim. At the end, we'd find a way, we got this. Me and her, We spoiled each other alot bcs weve known for sooo long. We cursed at each other in everyday life bcs thats just how bestfriend works. That bij, i love her.

7. Oji

I think my team didnt deserve Oji. She is the kindest, the most humble and easy going among us. Tho she didnt understand javanese, she always takes her time by learning javanese phrases, even made effort by writing it in books so she can memorize later. She brought half of her stuffs to posko. She brought along her car which takes 4 hours long from solo. She is strong independent woman, even she rode a pickup car that none of boys cannot ride. She is true gamer and half eater. She always tell stories abt her family and her campus life. Her family is somehow looked like bunch of gag (based on her story). She got calls from her family time to time. She was my dumb & dumber partner. Oji is a lil bit crybaby tho. She cried the most while KKN. She is a medical student, but her acts didnt say so. Hahahaha. One day, he told us this : "Do u know what make me grateful to be in this team? Thats because you never say that phrase." "What phrase?", Asked us. " 'Im embarassed being your friend' ". We felt so soft. And thats it. I enjoyed being with them. Tbh it was the best 45 days I've spent in my entire life so far. Well spent. It was such an unforgettable story to live with these seven dorks. Even after our KKN life ended, im still bragging to my other friends about them. They did the same too. I learnt a lot from them. Thanks guys for making my KKN life better than it should be. I guess ‘thankyou’ is just an understatement word to describe how grateful I am to have them.

I should've disappointed bcs i didnt get to KKN in my own kabupaten. But instead, God came with a better plan. When i shared abt KKN life with my campus friends, they mostly complained about how bad their teamwork or any conflicts happened within their team. But thanks God, i've never experienced that, at all. We were so lucky to have each other. At the last day, we wrote a letter to each other. One of it said, "Im so thankful to be in the same team with these strong people".p>

And yeah, we all were thankful for having each other, dont we?

Let’s meet again now and in the future, guys.

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years

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Rob& Chyna Recap: Exactly Touched Down In Chyna Town

In this weeks thrilling peak into the life of, the cherishing duo make a trip-up to DC, the Kardashians we actually care about get cameos, and Rob learns what a waldorf salad is.

Most importantly, we get to finally convened some of Chynas family and MAN do occasions start to make a lot more sense Re: Chynas preferred method of confrontation.

Chynas mom is appointed Tokyo Toni and I am already over this occurrence. Chyna describes her as the realest being she knows. This doesnt looks a lot like often of a competition as Chyna lives in LA and spends most of her time hanging out with the Kardashians.

Tokyo Toni craves Rob and Chyna to come up to visit her in DC for the 4th of July so Rob can experience his first real obstruct defendant. Chyna known to be Rob would hate every part of this, so shes probably going to acquire him do it.

True love: checking in on your lovers Postmates orders to make sure he isnt cheating on his diet. How happy do you have to be to guild a Kit Kat on Postmates? Thats a grade of self-deprecation that I have yet to even reach.

Chyna tells Rob that she got a call from Kim and Khlo inviting her to Khlos birthday party. He had already known about the party but hadnt told her because he didnt want to go. Shocker. Something like Khlos birthday party would be high profile, aka Robs worst nightmare. To be fair, any party where I might have to stand next to Kendall Jenner in a photo “wouldve been” my worst nightmare as well.

They decide to go to the party together and no one even hollered in a vehicle or shed posies of buds into the consortium to get to that decision. Progress.

Chyna: Wow that was a healthy discussion that we handled like adults. Rob: Yeah. Chyna: So anyways gives examine my mommy next.

The second Chyna delivers up the 4h of July Rob just straight-up bails. Like, leaves her residence. You can only manage so many serious exchanges in a epoch before you were supposed to Postmates some Kit Kats, I suppose.

While getting ready for Khlos party, Rob has a meltdown about his outfit and tries to get out of going. Make she who hasnt tried to cancel proposals over a wardrobe failure shed the first stone. On the way to the party Rob casually removes that his diabetes may be acting up again. The last-place era this happened was because “hes been gone” cold turkey on his insulin and had to spend some time in the ICU. Person please explain to this grown adult that insulin isnt a Flinstones gummy vitamin that you can pa as you please.

Khlos birthday is at Dave& Busters, which leads me to believe that it might actually be her bat mitzvah. If anyone are determined to throw a mid-life coming of age ceremony for a religion they dont even follow, it would be a Kardashian.

Watching Khlo and Chyna interact is like the buildup to the watering hole situation in, and tbh I dont even know who would come out on top in that combat. Segment of me wants to think that being pregnant would slacken Chyna down, but even a dazzle Chyna at half-speed is even more capable of taking someone out than me at heyday fitness.

Rob stands for an hour to take photos before honcho dwelling. Weird , none of those seems to make it to Instagram.

Chyna sheds a BBQ after Khlos to try and continue Rob from reverting back to mole guy mode. She invites Scott, who proceeds to offer all the entertainment by talking about coke and Chynas dads dick. Scott is that guy that you bring to any event youre apprehensive about listening, because no matter the environment he will retain his outrageous, semi-drunk attitude.

Rob begrudgingly agrees to go to DC with Chyna and she starts the trip off with a tour of her childhood haunts. She stops to take some photos with love outside her old-time home and Rob instantly shuts down.

Rob : Im really nervous about this family dinner, hopefully it croaks smoothly. Chyna : Oh cool I invited my estranged mothers who havent spoken to in ten YEARS.

She also invited three of her half-siblings , nothing of who have met her baby. Tokyo Toni doesnt seem like the kind of woman you want to ambush with these concepts, which means that the producers 100% sent out the invites and told Chyna to play along.

Tokyo Toni shows up in what looks like a Japanese outfit with chopsticks sticking out of her hair, because no one is brave enough to explain culture appropriation to her.

They are, nonetheless, brave enough to tell her that Chyna is essentially the same age as two of her siblings, entailing her papa was cheating on Toni. This revealing doesnt come off well.

Rob: Im so glad that Chynas family is unstable, its truly taking the spotlight off me.

Toni lovingly tells the story of the first time she saw Chyna dancing at the golf-club, as if it was her first high school dance or something. This leads to the family plus Chynas suite heading toward Synsaysionals, Chynas first association. She describes it as a bit ratchet, so you are familiar with Rob is going to pass out about 30 seconds in.

The excursion to DC is clearly works out for Rob. Hes less uneasy, more self-confident in public, and even stops for a few photos with followers. Say what you will about the relations between the two countries, but Chyna is patently making progress here.

New drama: Hoard, Chynas oldest acquaintance, and Paige, Chynas current best friend, very clearly abhor each other. Treasure doesnt cartel Paige( real mention Mika) because she satisfied Chyna after she was far-famed. The shade is unreal. The entire gang is all out together bowling and Treasure wont even announce her Paige because its her LA name, which is a little hypocritical because. you are familiar with Blac Chyna is for sure birth given.

Paige leaves the bowling party early because Treasure isnt even attempting to hide her antagonism. Chyna convenes her back at the hotel and tells her to work it out or else. Im securely Team Paige on this one, because Treasure fears the shit out of me. By the time the 4th of July party comes around they still havent worked out their issues, so Chyna pulls them both aside and becomes them hash shit out in front of her. This mama tactic 101 establishes me thing Chyna is going to be a pretty solid momma. Frankly, Im delighted to see that I tolerated through the first two boring episodes of this demonstrate to get to this confrontation.

Treasure, in front of a gang of lighters and TV cameras: Im just worried that Paige is use Chyna for her fame.

Tokyo Toni gathers Rob and Chyna aside and sag some real trues. The difficulties Rob and Chyna have dont even compare to the shit that Toni went through: a poor 16 -year-old girl with a babe, figuring shit out on her own. She doesnt proceed so far as to call Rob a spoiled bitch, but the implication is there. Will this extremely feeling and alcohol-fueled admonition change Robs perspective on life? Probably not.

2600 miles back, Kris wakes up in a cold sweat with the vaguely menacing sense that someone is trying to mom her son. She recollects his failed sock thread and rollers over to go back to sleep.

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