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enamouredfae · 3 years

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♡ Pick a Card ♡

What you need to know in order to be ready for the love you so longingly seek!

This reading is looking at anything you might need to heal or grow into in order to enter future relationships as your higher self. I am not looking at your future, but simply trying to guide you towards your highest good in the field of love. Many of us have internalized certain perceptions of love that we must unlearn, or have lived through difficult moments which have closed us off or made experiencing love more difficult. If you are in a toxic relationship/situation, please do not take any messages that might seem to tell you to stay in it. With this reading, I will hopefully open you up to some introspection and hopefully growth. You may very well be attracted to multiple piles and that is ok! Read all that attract you and take what resonates. Each pile has three pieces of advice, so mixing and matching is invited!

This reading is for entertainment purposes only.

This is a timeless reading for the collective, therefore it is likely that some messages will not resonate with you. Please only take the messages that do! The messages that do not, are meant for somebody else. Remember that the future is never set in stone and that you possess free will! Love you! ♡

Pile 1

Charm: Knot

1. Yang

Yang tells me that you need to learn to become more proactive in love. You cannot wait around. You must act! You need to manifest your desires into the material world by doing. It's perfectly fine to do the first move, no matter what society deems "acceptable", it is even invited with this card.

23. Peace

Radical acceptance is necessary for inner peace and in this case for a higher love. You must first love yourself fully, light and shadow self, before loving someone else in the way that you both deserve! And you deserve radical acceptance, we are all flawed and intricate people! As long as we are willing to change and grow and put in the work, past mistakes can be atoned for.

38. To be fair

This card tells me that you need to learn to be more balanced in relationships. Are you giving more than the other parties? Are you giving less? We must be fair to both others and ourselves. When someone in the relationship gives more, they may feel underappreciated which can become unmotivating, but they can also overwhelm the other person. You must learn balance.

Pile 2

Charm: Cactus

7. To the sea (reversed)

"When fishermen cannot go to sea, they stay at home and repair their nets." This is a quote from the guidebook that I had to rewrite here because it encapsulates the advice perfectly. You probably long for love like fishermen long for the sea. This card is telling me that the problem isn't coming from you, but the external world. An idea that just popped up in my head is a queer teen living in a homophobic area or with homophobic parents, so it is likely that this could be your situation. If it is, I love you, please take care of yourself, love and better days will come, don't worry! But you must wait a while longer until the external world matches your vibration, perhaps you'll have to move, wait until you're safe to go out to the sea. Until then, go with the flow.

50. No place like home (reversed)

This card seems to work perfectly with the previous one, it reminds us that what is familiar isn't always the best, because it keeps us from growing. If you want change, you can't keep going to the same things/people that haven't worked before, it's counterintuitive. It is natural to go back to what's familiar, but try something new. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Choose unfamiliar.

34. A leg up (reversed)

You are carrying the burden of your world all alone. You probably don't feel safe sharing what you feel, or are very uncomfortable with vulnerability. To be honest with you, right before writing this part of the reading, I started tearing up, you are holding in so much hurt... You need to voice your struggles, being vulnerable is proof of immense strength, believe me! I know it's hard! Start little by little with someone you really trust!

Pile 3

Charm: Star

35. Loyal Heart

Ok if one pile is ready for the beginning of a relationship it's this one. It is the perfect time for you to create loyal commitments. It is possible that you are already in a committed relationship, but at the very least you are surrounded by loyal, devoted people. Don't forget to be devoted and loyal in return!

4. Higher Power (reversed)

This card is inviting you to trust in whatever divine power you believe in, trust that the universe is divinely guiding you and protecting you. I feel like if a certain religion or spiritual path attracts or fascinates you, you should start looking into it, careful with being disrespectful or appropriating it, especially with closed practices, please do your research! But connecting to Source would be beneficial to you in the long run!

25. Round and Round

You are stuck in a cycle that you must break. Do not worry, you shouldn't feel bad, it's all part of the learning process. Remember: you've been through this before, think back on how that made you feel the previous times, are you sure you want to go through that again? Breaking this cycle is a form of self-care, and you need to care for yourself! You are subconsciously punishing yourself by staying in this cycle, try thinking about the root of why you're doing so! It could help you in breaking it!

Pile 4

Charm: "Love"

8. The tribe

You may want to find your tribe, or you have recently found it. You might feel like you finally belong, or are longing for that feeling. Whenever I get this card, I think of the astrology/witchcraft/tarot community here! It may be the same for you! You are welcome here, and hopefully, you feel like you belong! Contributing to any community that you are passionate about, whether online or in real life, will bring you great joy and satisfaction. Your tribe awaits and needs you! It's possible that that's where you'll find love as well!

6. Not for you (reversed)

Let them go. Whoever you first thought of, it's time to stop obsessing over them. "Don't chase after what flees you." I'm sure you realize this is not serving you, but how do you stop? This card is suggesting radical acceptance and surrender, that this is a sign that someone or something much better is waiting for you. I suggest reminding yourself that they aren't perfect and that you have just come to idealize them.

52. Mending (reversed)

You are very likely going through a grieving period right now. There is so much hurt and disappointment. "Heartbreak is a strange healer of souls." It may feel awful now, but trust that when you look back one day, you will see that the hurt you're feeling now, transformed you in a powerful way. This card is inviting you to accept the heartbreak and push through it, situations like this open us up to seeing the world in a new way, to growing. Better days are coming!

Pile 5

Charm: Angel

28. Building blocks (reversed)

Are you acting according to your belief system? Are you following the advice you give others? You must look carefully at your core foundation. It seems to me that you have done a lot of inner growth, but are still stuck in your old ways. Your outer self isn't matching your inner self. Start doing what you preach!

47. Go the distance

I feel like you're someone that wants love right now! For it to come fast and smoothly, like a sprint. You must learn to see love more realistically, as a long-distance race of endurance. You may be the type to immediately run at the sight of a problem. You must learn to be dedicated and work in love, it won't always be the idealized version you keep reading about or watching. Love demands work!

32. Here and Now (reversed)

You live in the past, don't you? So much regret and nostalgia... Or perhaps you live in the future? Daydreams and ambition. There is a need to learn to live in the here and now, you cannot change the past, and the future is infinite. They're both elusive, and unreliable; now is tangible, real, and full of immediate possibilities.

Pile 6

Charm: Mars Symbol

22. Blessed

This beautiful card talks about an unexpected and "unearned" wonderful event, that seems like divine intervention, a gift from the universe. The advice I take from this card is to practice gratitude because you seem to be blessed in the love department. Perhaps you already know who "the one" is for you. If you don't, trust that the universe has someone wonderful for you!

31. Why?

Ask yourself why you feel as you do about/in love? It is time for some introspection. You need to think and identify unhealthy patterns in your love life. Why do you act as you do in a relationship? Identify what in your past has caused this behavior. It won't solve the problem right away, but it's a good first step. Understanding the problem will be validating.

27. Exchanging gifts (reversed)

"Be careful what you pray for because you might just get it." You need to be ready for the energy exchange that will happen if this happens. This card talks about an imbalance between giving and receiving. You must learn that if you receive a lot, you must return a lot, love needs to be balanced. If you give more, you aren't actually in control, the other party could be consciously or unconsciously taking advantage of your generosity!

Pile 7

Charm: Eternally Open Heart Locket

17. The Fates

You must learn to accept that there are things and people you simply cannot control and change. You cannot blame yourself for things beyond your control, nor can you blame others for things they cannot control. Just be wise enough to tell the difference between things one can control and things one cannot!! If you have a tendency to mold people into your ideal, making them lose their essence, you must learn to accept people for who they are. It is not your job to change them: the desire to change must come from them, for them.

15. Message in a bottle

Try asking for specific signs from the universe, or start becoming more aware of them. Synchronicities are all around you, they're the way that the universe confirms that you're on the right path! Listen carefully to those you communicate with, they could be delivering a cledon to you. This card itself is a good sign, a favorable answer to the question occupying your mind.

9. Treasure Island

You might've already, but if you haven't, MANIFEST YOUR LOVE!! You will be greatly rewarded when you embrace the law of attraction and your intuition. Depending on your belief in how manifestation works, try being mindful of free will! If you believe that love spells on specific people are influencing their free will, then it is immoral to manifest a specific person. If you don't believe that that is how manifestation works, do as you will, just be in line with your beliefs! This card is also a great sign, you're on the right path, and have good fortune on your side. Very lucky pile!!

Pile 8

Charm: Boot

2. Yin (reversed)

You must learn to receive, only being the giver isn't good for you. You deserve to receive! Be open to embodying yin and yang equally. "You stop the flow of abundance when you constantly insist upon being the giver." Be the listener, the one that learns, the one that is being led.

33. Chaos and Conflict

You may be afraid of chaos and conflict, but you must remember that they can rid you of what's no longer serving you. Conflict also implies two sides, remember that yours isn't the only one, and conflict can lead to mutual understanding. Learn to put up boundaries, but also to respect those of others. When you finally see the potential of healing that conflict can cause, you'll be ready for mature communication in relationships.

20. Imagine

Remember that you can create what you imagine! Your imagination is powerful in manifesting your desires, but it can't do everything for you! Manifestation is work, when an opportunity arises, act! This card can also be a sign that the person you're manifesting will be entering your life soon. When they appear, don't just wait, and daydream! The imagination part of manifesting is done, now it's time to act.

Pile 9

Charm: Knife

21. Clean it up

It's time to let go and declutter your mind. Think about what is no longer serving you, about the things that only overwhelm you, and make you overthink, they aren't good for you. It might also help you to declutter in general, your house, your closet, your phone, your feed, etc. Make room for the new and the better.

48. Poised (reversed)

Think carefully, are you really ready for love right now? Because this card is telling me that you aren't. It's ok to be a "late bloomer", and it's important to be ready for love, as to not hurt the one you love, and yourself. Being single isn't a sign of "failure", it gives you the time and space to focus on yourself, on your growth, on your healing, on exploring and understanding yourself. Being single can seem like a curse, but it's a blessing, it's what you need right now.

16. All that glitters

Are you being yourself in love? Are they? Don't succumb to the power of superficiality. Either let go of the mask or look beyond theirs! "Imagine that all the glitter is gone. Would you still desire the object or person?" If one falls for the glitter, what will happen on the day they forgets to glue it on?

Thank you for reading! Love you all.♡

You can buy me a coffee if you feel called to do so! This is never necessary, but always appreciated! ♡

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greenhappyseed · 3 years

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BnHA Ch.326 - Review, parallels, and comparisons

“Who are you?” was the theme that bookended Izuku’s and Iida’s development during the Stain arc. It’s the question Gran Torino asked Izuku at the start of the internship week, and at that time he had no answer; only that he wasn’t Toshinori and he needed help with OFA.

But after facing Stain and mastering Full Cowl, Izuku fully manifested Deku, his hero name and persona. And it’s this hero identity — not Izuku — that Torino thinks will be hailed as the next Symbol of Peace.

Stain himself asked the question of Tenya, where once again the “correct” answer was a triumphant assertion of Tenya’s hero identity, Ingenium. Shoto is the star player here, helping Tenya remember his motivation for becoming a hero and reminding Tenya of his role as the class leader.

It’s fitting that Stain is now the one asking “who are you really?” to Toshinori, who is struggling to reconcile his retired hero persona with who he is as a human. Compare Ch.1, where All Might merely has to convince Izuku he has a second physical form, with Stain in Ch.326, where the physical evidence is insufficient. Stain wants All Might to justify his origin and his heroic spirit, regardless of what form his body takes.

I’m struck by how eerily calm and easy All Might’s words are here, even with the Hero Killer at his throat, testing his sincerity like Stain did with Shigaraki. We know there’s a part of him still expecting death by villain (and now he seems to be thinking he deserves it?!!?!? This chapter gets dark fast.). We also know he will always be willing to give his life to save “his disciple” (more on that in a bit), but All Might has no fear of Stain or his questions. All Might acknowledges when Stain makes good points and provides honest answers. The “Falsely claim? Fair enough” line is stunning coming from the guy who was #1 for decades — can you imagine Endeavor, Best Jeanist, or Hawks answering that way? Again, compare All Might’s reaction to Shigaraki:

This brings us to the heart of All Might’s despair. All Might feeling distant from heroes and heroism isn��t wrong — as I’ve noted before, everyone else in the story seems to have forgotten about him. (Fun that he opens the chapter with the excuse that he’s “checking up on hero-hating groups” while himself not feeling optimistic about the state of heroism). He followed Aizawa’s advice and was “there” for Izuku. He kept his promise to Inko and tried to take care of Izuku, even though he knew he couldn’t keep up with him. But it wasn’t enough.

All Might ultimately failed because he was afraid to be a human — not an idol or a god — and let down his “disciple.” This word is important. All Might never names Izuku here, and he doesn’t say “successor” or “student.” He says “my disciple” twice, which both carries religious connotations AND implies spreading the doctrine of a teacher/leader rather than merely having a title passed down. All Might is acknowledging Izuku as his follower, which inherently means All Might is calling himself an idol (or someone with teachings to be followed). Then Stain begins talking about All Might’s “embers,” another loaded word. All of this calls back to Ch.94 (titled “From Teacher to Disciple”) where All Might thinks about Nana telling him to do his best right before he says farewell to his last OFA embers to defeat AFO…and at the end says “Now it’s your turn.”

In that context, it was too difficult for All Might to tell Izuku that even the most powerful can only do their best and need to be human. All Might “lit the fire” in Izuku and his admiration of All Might leads him to work himself to ruins. To prevent self-destruction, All Might has to stop Izuku’s admiration OR stop the OFA fire, which are terrifying options.

Stain, of course, isn’t here for any of this. He himself is a “disciple” of All Might. And while All Might thought his embers ran out in Kamino, Stain’s point is that they’re not gone from the world. They spread to many “disciples”, not just the OFA successor. And now it’s up to everyone to do their best to keep those embers burning.

The chapter ends with Stain pulling a Gran Torino style prank and acknowledging that he was playing dumb. He knew exactly who All Might was all along. Maybe he knew about Kamino and All Might’s retirement the whole time too. Having goaded All Might into living up to the title of “hero,” Stain offers All Might info from Tartarus (hopefully it’s something new that wouldn’t have prevented the war, otherwise I imagine All Might kicking himself harder). And then he tells All Might to kill him in order to fix society. I can’t imagine All Might going for this, especially if (1) Stain’s words really do inspire All Might; and (2) Stain’s information is useful and not secretly a message from AFO. Either one of those acts is heroic by itself.

I’d like to see All Might take the information from Stain and return to UA. Or at least share the information with Nezu, Aizawa, etc. I think Stain’s offer to “let” All Might kill him as “payback” for killing 40 heroes is a good foil to the “payback” Nezu and Aizawa are plotting, so I’d love to see their reactions to All Might letting Stain go. With that, it’s time to put our umbrellas away!!

#bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha 326 #mha 326 #all might #toshinori yagi #yagi toshinori #hero killer stain #mha stain #mha all might #tw: death #bnha meta #mha meta

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tenthgrove · 3 years

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La Squadra HCs for if they get a team member with an art-based stand? (Thinking like how Kakyoin was able to harm Jotaro with his painting in part 3? I've always thought that could be an interesting stand in full!)

Lethal Creativity

La Squadra x Reader (GN), Platonic/Romantic (Interpretable), SFW

Context: For the sake of clarity, the reader's stand ability is defined as the power to manifest events such as physical harm/healing, the creation of new objects in a person's possession, and other occurances within limits, through visual illustration of these happening. It is limited by the inability to manipulate free will or create new animate beings, as well as the considerable level of detail in the illustrations required for the power to work, making the stand time-consuming to use.

Formaggio- For a stand as simple as 'make things go small', Formaggio sure does put a lot of creativity into using his powers. From crushing a person underneath a car expanded from inside them, to seeking the aid of usually harmless animals to take a minitiarised target out, Formaggio knows how to take a innocuous power and turn it into something flexible and deadly. For this reason, he can see immediately the potential of your stand, and is often the first to suggest the end goal of your plans when you are just starting out with a new drawing. Though he isn't always right you have to admire his thinking. A lot of people tend to take Formaggio for an idiot, which to be fair off the job he sometimes is, but there's a real quick streak to Formaggio when he needs it, which few other than you get to see.

Illuso- You quickly find yourself paired with Illuso on your more high-risk missions, due to the retreat offered by his mirror world. Watching from the safety of Illuso's dimension lets you work on orchestrating a target's doom without the distraction of having to worry about being caught. Unfortunately however, Illuso rarely lets you focus in peace as you shelter in the mirror world, pestering you frequently for more information on what you're doing and asking about your drawing techniques, without really listening to your response. Truth is, it feels weird for him to have someone other than a victim around in his world, and he feels compelled to talk to them as a result. He is enthralled as you draw out how it is your target will perish, the feeling of a predator on the hunt he too can relate to well, through all his years of watching victims through the mirror.

Prosciutto- The more the two of you brain-storm, the more applications you can think of for your stand as support for Prosciutto's missions. The Grateful Dead's two main flaws are slowness and imprecision, and your stand is perfect for creating small, quick-to-draw implements to deal with unexpected problems when his deadly power is at work. For instance, it only takes you half a minute to draw up a bag of ice to save someone from becoming collatoral damage you absolutely must avoid, and it doesn't take much longer to create a simple trap for if the target calls in backup during the slow process of dying through Grateful Dead's powers. You soon make an excellent team, well-versed in each other's needs and communications. It's only natural the two of you would become friends.

Pesci- Prosciutto encourages his apprentice to spend time with you on missions, since the operation of your stand often shows simplified, easy to pick up on, techniques of assassination Pesci can hopefully pick up on himself. Pesci is in awe as your plans slowly come in to fruition culminating in a spectacular demise for your target. He can tell you must be an incredibly intelligent person to come up with the sort of things you do, and frequently mentions wishing he could have ideas as good of yours. He never knows where to even begin with a mission unless someone else tells him! You are confused by this however, as every time you see Pesci in action you only see a skilled, competant assassin. Really, you think he just has issues with his confidence. You only hope you can help him see that.

Melone- His immediate affinity to you is strong because there are many similarities between your stands in terms of practical implications of their powers. Both favour remote operation and lengthy planning, but reward their users' patience with incredible scope and damage potential. You find your routines for missions parallel heavily, and Melone has a lot to teach you about staying safe during the long period of preparation for using your stands. Often you will find yourselves sitting together, Melone educating a young junior as you prepare an illustration of the tools it will use to aid it against the target. Your bond is strong, and you develop a lot of affection together through your joint work.

Ghiaccio- White Album is a stand at its strongest when it's user is capable of quick thinking, immediate response and personal, direct forms of battle. It is hence the antithesis of your own stand, which stresses planned creativity in a calm setting. There isn't much you could do to help Ghiaccio during his missions, since his fights tend to move too quickly for you to possibly draw from scratch as they evolve, so in terms of work your bond with Ghiaccio will be slow. At home however, Ghiaccio is drawn to the peaceful nature of your ability, particularly as you calmly illustrate the patching of his wounds as he lies on the sofa after a difficult mission. Though he can't do it himself, he finds drawing satisfying, and has a lot of admiration for your power.

Risotto- Your creativity in the field is certainly something Risotto can relate to, due to both his own morbid creativity that allows him to fully utilise Metallica, and the fact he's still responsible for at least some of the planning in a majority of La Squadra's missions. He appreciates an ally that can understand the need for nuance and caution when pursuing a target, especially when some of the boys just go out into the field with nothing on their minds but sadism. The two of you have many pleasant nights together discussing the strategy of your upcoming missions in the privacy of his office. Though he has little in the way of art skills himself, Risotto is surprisingly cultured, and will often pick up on styleistic and symbolic references in your drawings you didn't expect anyone to notice.

Sorbet and Gelato- La Squadra's greatest sadists are no strangers to bringing creativity to the art of murder, so learning of your ability fills them with a wicked glee. They frequently give constructive criticism on your draft pieces for a target's elimination, offering improvements that are sometimes practical, and sometimes simply there to make the final product more entertaining for them. They love it when the ideas you built together come to fruition, and will often insist on being there for the show even if you would have otherwise not chosen to be present for when the targt kicks it. There is a high likelyhood that, particularly if you are a newcomer to the trade, you will end up the apprentice of the lethal couple. Their advice may be unconventional, but has you achieving your goals every time without fail.

#la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #la squadra x reader #formaggio #formaggio x reader #illuso #illuso x reader #prosciutto #prosciutto x reader #pesci #pesci x reader #melone #melone x reader #ghiaccio #ghiaccio x reader #risotto nero #risotto nero x reader #sorbet and gelato #sorbet and gelato x reader

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collecting-stories · 4 years

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Addition - JJ Maybank

Request: hello! could you do a jj x reader where the pogues are all hanging out or something and then it starts raining and they have to go home but jj has nowhere to go since he got in a fight with his dad so he asks reader if he can stay over, and then they share memories and it's all laughs when suddenly he gets serious and starts tearing up because his father doesn't love him and the reader is there to comfort him and he confesses?love your writing 💞

A/N: Hopefully this is what you wanted?

Outer Banks Masterlist

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Mom?” You called, pushing the door open as you walked into the house. JJ followed after you, passing you to pull off his boots and drop his bag while you took your key out and shut the door. You had all been on the beach together when it had started to drizzle. The plan was to wait it out but when the winds picked up you all decided it was best to just head home. Pope had to get back to his house and Kiara was headed to the Wreck leaving you, JJ, and John B. When John B mentioned heading to meet up with Sarah JJ had looked suddenly hesitant.

You’d invited him back to yours when you picked up on his obvious aversion to going home. While you didn’t know all the details of his home life, JJ had crashed at your house more than once when he was fighting with his dad.

“Mom?” You called one more time before toeing off your own shoes and heading further into the little house you shared with your mom. “Guess she’s at work.”

“She won’t mind if I’m here?” JJ asked, following you into the kitchen and taking the beer from your mom’s boyfriend’s stash.

“You’ve been here before JJ, it’s not like I just picked up a random stranger and invited him back to my house.” You replied.

“I just don’t want to cause a problem.” He replied.

“It’s no problem. Now, do you wanna watch TV? Buddy accidentally signed up for the Disney+ plan when he was trying to buy ESPN so we now have Disney, Hulu and Netflix.” You said, holding out the remote to him.

“Living the life,” JJ joked. He sat down beside you on the couch and took the remote from you. Though you hadn’t mentioned it, and didn’t necessarily plan to, JJ had been off all day. He’d shown up to the beach looking upset and when you asked him about it he’d just withdrawn. It was at John B’s advice to ‘just let it go for now’ that you moved on to your second tactic. Pretend everything was normal and okay. And so far it was working. But something still felt off and you knew you should be more patient, or whatever John B wanted you to be, but you couldn’t help feeling that noisy part of you want to get down to the bottom of the issue.

“Definitely.”

JJ switched on Parks & Rec, having watched it enough times with you that the calming affects you claimed it had over you were starting to manifest in him too. He instantly felt calmer at the sound of Leslie’s chatter. As you stretched out on the sofa, JJ’s eyes wandered the wall behind the TV. He’d been to your house plenty of times but he’d somehow never noticed the family pictures hanging there. One of you on the beach, one of you as a toddler sitting in someone’s lap.

“Who is that?” JJ asked, pointing to the portrait on the wall.

“Who?” You looked to the way, following his outstretched hand and trying to determine which photo he was looking at. You got up, crossing the carpeted floor to lay your pointer finger on the glass of the picture, “this one?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s my dad. I was like, three when he died. I don’t really remember him but my mom really loves this picture. It’s from while he was in the hospital.” You replied, “I hung this one up of me and Buddy at Christmas last year cause I thought he deserved a place on the wall.”

JJ nodded, chewing at his bottom lip as he stared at the pictures, looking between you and your dad and you and Buddy. He blinked his eyes shut a few times and in the span of that repetitive motion you where suddenly kneeling on the couch beside him and wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you pulled him into a hug. It was then he realized that he was crying.

You were shushing him, running your fingers through his hair and telling him it was okay, whatever it was. He knew it was stupid to cry over, you didn’t even know your dad and Buddy had only been around for two years.

“It’s okay, what’s the matter?” You asked, voice soft and tender.

JJ shook his head, there was no way he could even form the words to explain to you that he had never even seen a picture of his father holding him let alone had a memory of it. The only memories of his dad were bad ones.

“Is it your dad?”

He nodded against your arms.

“I’m sorry. Do you wanna stay for a while? The pull-outs more comfortable than John B’s.”

JJ laughed in spite of himself, instantly reminded of the awful springs on John B’s pull-out. If you didn’t lay in just the right spot it was hopeless to try and sleep at all. The laughing helped to ease him out of crying, his breathing fall back to normal though you didn’t totally let go of him, still holding onto him as he relaxed.

“You shouldn’t be put out.”

“I’m not. I’m offering you the space Jay, you’re welcome to stay here. For however long you want to.” You replied, “my mom’ll say the same thing.”

“I just can’t take it anymore.” He confessed, leaning into you. “And I see you and your mom and Kie and her parents and I want that but I know it’s impossible and I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, JJ.”

“Why do I get a shitty dad who doesn’t love me then? Everyone else has people who care about them and I get that fucking loser.”

“I don’t know...but you do have people who care about you, Kie, Pope, John B...I love you. I’ll build you an addition on my house and never let you leave if that’ll convince you.”

“The couch is fine.” He replied, closing his eyes as you brushed your fingers through his hair.

“Well good, then I get you sheets.”

“Just...in a minute?” He asked, holding you a little closer when you moved to get up.

“Of course.”

“Also...I love you too.” He said, kissing your collar because it was the closest part of you he could reach.

“Enough to build me an addition?”

“Definitely.”

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strawbearydreams · 3 years

Text

Petals for Armor: Parts 1-3

Read it on Ao3

Word count: 3,774

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Logicality (platonic), Intrulogical (platonic), Intruality (platonic)

Warnings: Body horror, food mention, death mention

Part 1- Simmer

The night was cold. The Fae could see their breath as they ran through the woods, bare feet crunching on the forest floor. They weaved through the mangled branches of the trees, and even though their mind was screaming at them to keep looking ahead, they couldn’t help but look back every so often. It was getting closer. They could feel it.

Their breathing was heavy, no matter how hard they tried to keep it calm. The wind was biting against their bare, light brown skin, the goosebumps spreading throughout their entire body. They felt so vulnerable, a feeling they weren't quite used to. They were alone now, and hopefully it would stay that way.

The moon shone down upon them. But it wasn’t the only thing illuminating the night. Hundreds of yards away, there was a second light following the Fae. It glowed a bright red, whisking away leaves in its path. It was getting closer by the second.

Eventually the Fae’s legs threatened to give under them. They had to stop, if only for a second. They ducked behind a tree, standing as still as they could. Their legs felt like they were on fire, and their heart was about to beat out of their chest.

Their heart. As they tried to catch their breath a bright, white light flooded their chest, showing their ribcage and heart.

Their breath hitched, putting their hands up to their chest to try and cover it up, but it was too late. They peeked out from behind the tree, and the light that was following them caught on to their light. It bolted towards them. They had to get moving again. It really was on their tail now.

Every second that passed was another misstep that was narrowly avoided. But their luck ran out as their foot hit a solitary rock, and they hit the ground hard. A few inches from their face was an old, rotting human skeleton sparsely covered in leaves. They looked back, and the light was almost upon them. They scrambled to their feet, continuing their journey forward.

Soon, after what seemed like hours, they came upon what looked like an abandoned house. They rushed up the porch steps and slammed into the door, grabbing the handle. They jiggled it, but it wouldn’t budge. They turned back, lungs aflame. They knew it was getting closer.

They looked to the side and saw there was a window, grabbing the bottom and pushing up. Luckily it was unlocked, and they slid in clumsily with some effort.

It was hard to make out anything in the darkness, but they were able to see a flight of stairs. They ran up as fast as they could, searching for a safe space to hide.

They looked down the hall and spotted a door, a bright golden light spilling out of the crack at the bottom. They stepped closer, heart rate quickening.

They grabbed the door handle and turned it, the door opening slowly. Inside was a bowl with what looked like brown clay, surrounded by white candles. They let out a breath. Was this, was this already there for them?

They bit their lip. They knew what they had to do, it was their fate. They couldn’t run from it anymore.

They grabbed a handful of clay and started spreading it over their body, over their arms and legs, their chest, in their hair. It felt soothing on their skin, cold to the touch. Soon they were completely covered in it. They shifted as it already started to dry and crack.

Outside, the light formed into an entity, humanoid only in its appearance. Its black robes covered its entire body, a silver mask covering its face. It let itself inside, drifting through the house. It caught sight of the stairs, and made its way up.

It turned towards the door at the end of the hall, moving towards it. It slowly opened the door, finding nothing in the room but a circle of candles.

A loud crash permeated the hallway. The entity fell to the floor, the Fae standing tall over it. The motion knocked the mask off its face. The face that the Fae was staring down at was their own.

They let out a defeated breath. This is what they were running from. They were running from themself. They couldn’t face it. They couldn’t deal with someone out there being the worst parts of themself.

They had heard the stories as a child. The stories of their kind betraying the gods, causing them to be split into two. One half was the definition of good, all encompassing kindness and compassion and empathy. The other half was the definition of evil, being only hatred and violence and ugliness.

When the Fae was born, their dark side manifested on the other side of the world, and had been looking for them their entire life. Once they met, they would have a battle, and the victor would be the dominant half. The only way for them to become of age was to not only defeat it, but fuse with it, becoming one whole entity.

They looked down at their hands, frightened of themself. They needed to get to a safe place where they could do this in private.

They dragged the body across the floor, moving down the hallway and around the corner. They came upon a spacious, empty room. The morning light was already pouring through the window.

They held the entity, their dark side, in their arms, wrapping it up in its cloak. They cradled it, stroking its hair. They wanted so desperately to stay good, to not have to deal with being seen as a monster. But they couldn’t deny it anymore. This was still a part of them.

They looked at it. It was whispering in their ear. Wrath, it kept repeating. Mercy, it kept repeating.

They held it close, and as the hours of the day went on, the cocoon started to form. It encompassed their bodies first, then grew to cling onto the walls. Soon they were off the ground, completely wrapped up in the spider-like silk.

Now the room was filled to the brim with daylight, and a single eye popped open, the creature sucking in its first breath.

-------------------------

Part 2- Leave It Alone

The Fae looked around, breathing in the crisp autumn air. They were in the woods now, back near their home. Something in their mind told them this wasn’t completely real, but the feeling of the wind against their skin and the dirt and leaves underneath their feet suggested otherwise.

They started walking, the breeze kicking up brown leaves around them. They didn’t know where they were going, but a low, soft voice was calling for them. They decided to follow it.

They walked for hours, sauntering through the forest. The sky was overcast, the grey clouds casting a glum shadow over the land. The voice was getting louder, and soon they came across a single oak tree.

They knelt down, gingerly touching the bark. They had seen this tree before, a long long time ago. It was a door, and now they just needed to find the handle.

They moved their hand across the bark, and after pressing against it they found a loose piece. They pulled, sap dripping from what was now a hole in the tree. They looked in, suddenly being sucked through. It was dark now, the dusk a cool blue.

Several yards in front of them was a bed covered in white sheets. There was a lump, a figure resting on it. They stepped closer, fearing what they were going to find.

They hovered over it for a few moments, their blue robes flowing in the breeze. The figure kept completely still. They sucked in a breath, slowly pulling back the sheets. There they were, their colony elder, Asystole.

The Fae’s own family was somewhat absent from their life, and it got worse as they got older. The only one they could turn to to be a parental figure towards them was their elder. They would hold the Fae, and tell them stories, and sing them lullabies. They would give them advice, and would always have the right things to say to make it better.

When Asystole passed away, their whole world fell apart. The only person in the world who could truly comfort them was now gone, and they felt like they had nothing left.

They passed right before the Fae's trial was to take place, right before they ran away. Maybe that was a reason why. Maybe it was because they didn’t know whether things were going to be okay or not.

They stared at Asystole’s face. It was so peaceful, it looked like they were just sleeping. Even though the voice didn’t say anything, the Fae knew it was theirs, and it soothed them. Then Asystole faded away, and the sheets gently fell to the bed.

The Fae let out a sob, sinking to their knees. Tears started to fall down their cheeks as they screwed their eyes shut. The wind swirled around them, leaves flying up in the air. They opened their eyes and they were back where they started, the sky still a gloomy grey.

They stood up, the wind getting stronger. They could do nothing now but dance, a ceremony performed in memory of the deceased.

The wind conformed around them, the leaves matching their movement. They let their grief overtake them as they moved their arms where it felt right to move them. They moved and danced, heart full of emotions.

Once they were out of breath, and their heart was beating like a drum, they fell to the ground, eyes fluttering closed.

Their eyes suddenly popped open again after what felt like hours. Their body felt different, completely transformed. They shifted, trying to move and wriggle out of the strong, sticky confines of the cocoon.

Their whole face was itchy. There were large, skin colored scales all over their cheeks, chin, and the bridge of their nose. Flowers petals were blooming from their eyebrows, and a stem was sprouting from under each eye. There were white marks on their chin and the bridge of their nose.

They moved their arm to scratch their face, and once they broke through the webbing they looked to see four large, sharp talons. Their eyes widened, looking at it in wonder.

Enough of the cocoon had dissolved at this point that they were free to lift their chest. They let out a groan, moving and shifting upwards, trying to get comfortable.

But the transformation wasn’t done yet. The cocoon wrapped around them again as they held their breath. The silk restricted their body, clinging to it like glue.

After several more hours they were able to break through again, a human looking hand reaching up towards the sky.

They were completely covered in the goo. They looked around as they struggled to breathe, gulping in air. They were still in the room, and now they just needed to get out of it.

Now their body felt a little more normal, more human. They reached out, clambering over and out of the cocoon. The silk stuck to their naked body as they slumped to the floor. They could hear their heart beating as they let out shaky breaths. They let their eyes close for a few seconds, catching their breath.

After a while the silk dissolved, leaving their body exposed. They opened their eyes, slowing their breathing. They tried to get up on unsteady feet, but they just stumbled back to the ground, the floorboards creaking beneath them.

They were finally able to stand up after a few more moments of trying. They wrapped their arms around themself, trying to cover their body. The house was cold, goosebumps forming on their skin.

They went back to the cocoon, gathering the dry silk and slipping it over their thin frame. They ripped it in pieces, covering up all the areas that needed to be covered. There was a tattered blanket in the room, and they draped it over their shoulders.

Then they heard it. Something let out a breath. They thought they were just imagining things, but then they heard it again. It was coming from the other side of the door.

-------------------------

Part 3- Cinnamon

The breathing continued. But there were no inhales, only exhales. They bent down, trying to see through the keyhole. They reached for the knob carefully, but jumped back, falling to the floor as the door started to open by itself.

They got up on shaky legs, stepping forward towards the hallway. A blue rocking chair was rocking by itself near the stairway.

They stepped down the stairs carefully. There were picture frames on the walls, but instead of housing paintings or pictures they were empty.

They got down the stairs on unsteady feet, stepping into the living room. They glanced up, and the chandelier on the ceiling was swaying to and fro. They looked behind them, and there was a black and white piano in the hallway. They looked to the right, and there was a record in the record player spinning. It was playing an orchestral piece.

They looked around at the mint walls, the floral wallpaper. There was a dark blue antique loveseat to the left. Propped up on it was a guitar, which fell onto the seat. The Fae thought they were going crazy. They swore that things were moving on their own.

Their suspicions were confirmed as they knelt down to a purple cushion near the fireplace. There was an indentation, like someone had been sitting there. He noticed tiny white hairs. Was there someone else in the house?

They cautiously exited the living room, and moved down the hall. Their ears picked up some sort of movement behind them, but when they looked back, nothing was there. They brushed it off, continuing forward.

They got to the kitchen, and on the table was a teapot and a cup of tea. There was still steam coming off the liquid.

They glanced forward to the left slightly, and there was a candle underneath a mirror that was still giving off smoke. They stepped towards it, taking a look in the mirror. In their reflection they saw another figure behind them. It looked like the wallpaper, and it had come to life.

They spun around, finding the humanoid figure petting a dog they hadn’t seen before. Then the floorboards came to life as well, the figure sitting up. The figures started moving towards them. They ran, discarding the blanket.

The figures chased them up the stairs, several pairs of footsteps thumping on the floorboards. The Fae ran back to the room they just came from, shutting the door behind them and locking all the locks. They backed up against the door, taking a moment to catch their breath. They could hear the figures whispering to themselves from behind the door.

They were welcomed with an unusual sight. There was a bathtub in the room that hadn’t been there before, for one. Two, there was another figure in the bathtub, but this one looked somewhat human.

Their black undercut was pulled back in a tight ponytail, and they reached out with a tanned arm to grab an oyster to eat it. The Fae furrowed their brows. The figure sank into the bathtub, and out came one of the other figures from before, this one being completely white to match the tub.

It crawled over to them, letting out a low purr. They stepped around each other, then it stood tall to match the Fae’s posture. It was exactly their height.

The Fae tilted their head, and the figure tilted its head back. They smiled a bit, swaying to and fro. They held their hand up in a wave. It matched their movement perfectly.

They kept moving around, lifting and dropping their arms, stepping forward and back. Every movement was matched, it was like looking in a mirror.

The Fae’s smile only grew as they started to dance, and the figure danced with them. They were too busy to notice that the other figures were in the room with them too, also matching their movements.

“I hope you’re having fun there,” They heard a voice say, the first voice they heard in a long time. They jumped, spinning around.

The door was now unlocked, and standing in the doorframe was a man, but he didn’t exactly look like a man. He had a transparent sort of air to him, literally. The Fae could see the opposite wall right through his body.

“Don’t worry, they’re not going to hurt you. They just like to cause trouble every once in a while. Besides, it seems like they’ve taken a liking to you.”

The Fae could do nothing but stare. He was quite taller than them, and round glasses were perched on his sharp nose. Everything about his face was sharp. His cheekbones, his chin. He was certainly very handsome. The Fae pushed the thought away, cheeks flushing red.

The not-quite-man walked up to them. “Logan, at your service,” He bowed politely, looking up at them expectantly. The Fae’s mouth opened, then closed again. The things they were supposed to do were escaping them.

“May I have your name?” Logan finally asked. The Fae’s breath hitched, “I-I don’t have one. I’m s-supposed to pick it.” Their voice was small, barely above a whisper.

Logan smiled, “Well, would you like some help with that?”

Their eyes widened, “I-I don’t know, I mean, I g-guess.”

His smile only grew, “Well, what about Eugene? I think that’s a sensible name.”

They shook their head. They didn’t really like the sound of that one.

“Martin?”

They shook their head.

“Thomas?”

Another head shake.

“Patrick?”

They titled their head this time, “Close.”

Logan brought his hand up to his chin, taking some more time to really think about it. He looked the Fae up and down. “Patton.”

The Fae sucked in a breath, smiling slightly. “Yeah, yeah I think I like that one.”

Logan matched his smile, “Well, it’s very nice to meet you Patton.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.”

They smiled at each other for a few seconds before Logan spoke up again, “Say Patton, what exactly are you doing all the way out here, in the middle of nowhere? Where did you come from?”

The Fae’s- Patton’s, smile faded. They thought back to their home, and how they would probably never be able to go back. “From far away.” They finally answered.

Logan nodded sympathetically at them, “It’s alright, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Patton smiled gratefully. Then they heard more footsteps coming up the stairs. In walked the dog they saw in the kitchen. It barked happily, trotting over to Logan and sitting beside him, trying to nuzzle him, but failing miserably.

“It’s alright, Remus. You can show yourself. We can trust them.” Logan spoke gently to it, looking at it, then Patton.

Then the dog transformed from dog to human. Patton stepped back, eyes wide. The dog, who was now a man, was still facing Logan. “I know, Logan darling, I just wanted to get extra attention!”

“You get attention from me in human form.” Logan scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, but it’s not the same! Besides, walking around on all fours and having a tail is fun!”

Logan cleared his throat, “Remus,” He motioned to Patton, who still had a look of wonder on their face, “Don’t be rude.”

Remus’ eyes widened as he turned to Patton, “Oh, right! So sorry, I haven’t introduced myself! I’m Remus, pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He smiled, holding out a dark hand.

Patton’s eyes were still wide. They were forgetting to breathe. They took it cautiously, looking at him as they shook. They met eyes with Logan, who was looking at them expectantly. They finally stuttered out, “Patton,” remembering their new name.

“Well, I’m certainly glad you finally met each other,” Logan rolled his eyes. Then he looked at Patton, “You may stay here, if you’d like. We could use the company.”

Remus’ eyes widened in excitement. “Oh, yes! Yes, please! Stay! We have plenty of room! And food, and drink, and entertainment! We’ll take good care of you! Please?” He furrowed his brows upward as he pouted his lip, eyes wide.

Patton was caught off guard. Why would these not-quite-humans just let them come into their home like this? Was it a trick?

Still, this was a form of shelter and food, something they needed very badly. They weren’t going to just throw an opportunity like this away.

“Okay.”

“Yay!” Remus jumped, a wide smile on his face. Logan smiled back, rolling his eyes. “Well, come along, I’ll show you to your room,” They stepped out of the room together. Patton looked around and noticed that the four figures were all gone.

“I assume you’ve already taken a tour of the house,” Logan commented as they walked down the hallway.

“Y-Yeah, sorry about that,” Patton murmured. Logan looked at them, “It’s quite alright. It’s not often we get visitors. It’s a nice change.”

They continued down the hallway, turned to the right, and came upon a door. Logan opened it, and it led to a small room, one that could be mistaken for a large closet. It had a bed with a big quilt, and a small mirror.

“I apologize for not having another room available. We’d give you the biggest room if we could.” Logan told them.

“No, it’s fine, this is perfect.” Patton smiled gently.

“Unless they want to room with me!” Remus said, giving them a playful look. Logan sighed. “You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to, Patton.”

Patton nodded at Logan, “Yeah, no, it’s fine, I’ll be fine.” He turned to Remus, “Sorry.”

“No worries! Just thought I’d offer,” Remus smiled genuinely. Patton smiled back.

“Well, if you need us, we’ll be downstairs. We’ll let you get settled in. Feel free to join us whenever you’d like,” Logan said before beckoning Remus to follow him downstairs.

Patton watched them leave, taking deep, steady breaths. These past twenty four hours certainly have been very interesting.

They nestled into their new bed. It was soft and warm, something they weren't used to. But it gave them a sense of comfort. They curled up under the quilt, planning on just closing their eyes for a couple of minutes, but ending up drifting into a deep, needed sleep.

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razorblade180 · 3 years

Text

Twin Snowflakes 27:Hill climbing preparations

Part 26 here!<-

Rehearsals were going well. With Darren out of mind and no further incidents, students had gotten back into a steady blow of progress. The band was a little shaky at first but Summer had learned that Nick had a point about her being a bit strict in the beginning. With that hurdle jumped, Summer felt comfortable enough to take a short break. Her feet swung from over the stage's edge like a kid on a swing while she took a moment to call Oscar. It had been a few days since their last check in date. The fact that he didn’t blow her fun up meant his own hands were full. Fortunately, two rings was all it took before his face popped up on her screen, covered in what was hopefully seawater.

“Hi Oscar! Ummm sea life treating you will? You look a little…”

“Wet? Sigh, I can’t believe I’m saying this but I miss the cold of the tundra. All the storms and aquatic grimm yanking me off the boat is getting annoying. Anyways, Penny told me you had a little scare recently? Everything okay?”

“Yes, I think.” Summer rubbed her face. “Well…as okay as things usually get. I do feel better than usual. I’ve gotten to perform quite a bit the last couple days.”

“Really? Did you take my advice by any chance?”

A guilty smile found its way on Summer’s face. She couldn’t help but chuckle. “Nah. I’ve just been singing a couple of covers and a few originals that anyone with a radio has heard. The lyrics in the journal are just that, in the journal. I actually wanted to talk to you about a trick Nick got me to try. You’ve actually mentioned it once before early on.”

“Is that so- woah!” Oscar yelped, nearly falling from the rock of the ship crashing through a wave. “Hehe. Sorry about that!”

“Everything okay over there? I can call later?”

“No it’s fine; just rough seas. That’s good though. Challenging waves and other harsh weather factors have been swelling for quite some time. You’re too young to remember this but Atlas was actually a bit warmer. Hot places were cooler and sailing wasn’t as wild.”

“I’ve heard about that in class. Don’t scientists think it might have something to do with magic being back?”

“Or the gods roaming through Remnant.” He smirked, confident about the latter theory. “Harsh conditions mean it’s difficult to press forward. As if the world itself is trying to keep things away. With a little luck, passing these hurdles are all the answers we need.”

Answers. Summer couldn’t begin to imagine having those. It was more terrifying than reliving if she had to be honest. She wouldn’t know what to do if the gods themselves didn’t know what to do. The only thing worse is them saying she couldn’t do anything.

“Let’s cross our fingers you aren’t on a boat for nothing. Speaking of Shiva, Nick talked me into entering my headspace willingly. I was even able to manifest a shovel in it!”

“A shovel?” Oscar quirked his head.

“Yeah it wasn’t the usual blue empty space. It waslake; the lake as a matter of fact. I chucked a shovel at Shiva and told her to start digging her grave.”

“Nick told you to do that!?”

“Weeeeeeell… he only told me to confront her with unwavering resolve in a way Veronica would. I’m pretty sure that meant being cut throat but I may have defaulted to cock intimidation. Pretty sure I stoked the flames of war. But it felt good!”

The cheerfulness in her tone was genuine. While manifesting and confrontation was something Oscar had tried to get her to do early on, there are ways to go about it. Headspace or not, poking at a beast was always risky. “I’m glad you’re feeling good, but exercise caution. I wouldn’t try that alone. There’s a lot we don’t know about that space. I doubt you can actually die there but if that really is your mind you're traversing then serious backlash might happen if things go wrong. Remember, Shiva has an edge. Don’t let her play you in your own head.”

“Believe me, that’s the last thing I want. I’ll be careful Oscar. Thanks for worrying about me. Couldn’t ask for a better therapist”

“I wouldn’t go that far. Ruby and your dad give some pretty solid motivational speeches.”

Hehe, don’t sell yourself short. I should probably get going. Good luck! Watch the gods tell you to perform an exorcism or drown me in sacred water.”

Oh if only it was that easy. “If she had any signs of a soul I would’ve tried that already. Take care Summer. Call me when you need me”

“You know I will.” She hung up and looked over at Nick. A few of the girls had taken the opportunity to strike up a conversation with him. In typical fashion, Nick just let them fawn in vain. “Geez, take a hint ladies.” She mumbled.

“Oh my gods! I wasn’t aware you could sing!”

“So talented!”

“Can you sing for my birthday!?”

All the back chatter and compliments made it hard to focus on one person. Nick did his best to calm them all, giving a faux laugh and smile. “Hehe, thanks. I can hold a note, I’m not as good as my sister, and I’m way too sheepish to sing at a birthday. Now we should probably get back to working maybe? Practice is almost-” his eyes caught the door entrance before he finished. Valerie had walked in.

As if by will, her head automatically turned to meet his eyes. Valerie couldn’t help but give some kind of disarming smile, giving a small wave that was quickly rejected when Nick went back talking to the people around him. Not even Valerie could deny that burn. She put her hand down before she felt anymore like an edit, walking over to Eliza to get what she had to do over with.

“Hey soldier.”

“Huh? Well look who finally decided to show! I expect more from a representative of this school.”

“Oh brother…” Val couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “I’m not even gonna pretend that I’m sorry like I usually do. Look, at least I did what was asked of me. Boiler is fixed for now and there should be no problem getting hot water when the big day arrives.”

“Keep a keen eye on it just in case. I don’t have any time to deal with tiny problems during the tournament.”

“Yeah you and everyone else in this room. Now if you excuse me.” Valerie pointed both thumbs back and tried backing up slowly.

“Hold on…”

“Uuugh. Yes? I got plenty of practice to work on. Make this quick.”

Eliza narrowed her eyes. “Wow, someone is more aggressive than usual. If that’s how you’re going to be then I’ll spare you the lecture. Just know you better be careful or I might pull the rug out from under you this year.”

“Hmph, bold words. You gotta make it to the top of the hill before challenging the ruler. Though you’re more than welcome to kick Nick around and take his spot for all I care. See ya. Just text me the meeting information. Got things to do.” Valerie turned around and headed off. On the way out she saw Summer staring at her with a raised eyebrow from afar. To make matters worse, the cheerleaders moved by the exit. Veronica being among them. Valerie was ready for some kind of sly comment but to her surprise Veronica briefly acknowledged her, nodded, and then went back to what she was doing.

Eliza looked at the time and figured everyone made enough progress for one day. “Alright everyone! You can all start wrapping things up. I’m sure all of you have things to-” the sound of everyone packing their belongings overpowered her voice. “Do.” She finished. At least she could trust everyone to clean up on time. “Nicholas, get your butt in gear.”

“Oh thank goodness!” Nick wasted no time squeezing his way through the girls that lingered around him. “Sorry! The VP calls! Let’s go Summer!”

“Right behind you.” She turned towards the band. “It would be a good idea for you all to practice a little longer. Not because you may or may not need it but because I’ll finally give you room to experiment. Just no funny ideas about adding drum solos.” Summer hopped off stage and headed off, quickly catching up to Nick, Eliza, and Veronica. “Well aren’t we an interesting looking bunch?”

“An idol, witch, heir, and fashion designer. This is the beginning of a bad joke I’d say.”

“Bold of you to call someone a witch when they’ve agreed to help you train.”

“Would you prefer magical girl, or maybe sorceress?” Nick nudged her.

“I prefer my name. However…sorceress is endearing, I suppose.”

“I could call you that while you teach me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” She said in a shrill voice. “I’m already regretting this.”

“Well while you two train to death, I’m finally going to get some real shut eye. I can hear my bed calling my name already.”

“Not so fast.” Veronica interjected. “Since we ended up being free at the same time and I have to work a little more diligently…”

Summer didn’t like where this was headed. “Veronica, my hot headed designer, I’m well aware of what it’s like to be a perfectionist. However, please don’t rope me into this.”

All three of them looked at her at once. “It’s your dress!”

“I know that! No need to remind me! I am tired though. It’s Monday, the weekend was crazy, and I just put in a full day of school with extra curricular activities. Allow me two hours at least!?”

“Ugh, ever the whiner. Fine but I don’t want to hear any complaints about design. Most would be thrilled to be heavily involved with their clothing.”

“Well consider this a show of good faith towards your skills.”

The four of them continued to talk all the way to the manor. Eliza tried to stay on important topics while Nick did his best to keep things casual. It never really worked out considering Summer's insistence to not help her dear brother and Veronica’s curiosity about events to come. It was only when the girl’s feline ears twitched by the gate did she begin to quiet down.

“Hmmm?” She stopped immediately.

“Huh? What’s wrong Vee-”

“ACHOO!!!” The girl yelled. The sneeze was so strong Veronica lifted off the ground slightly. “Phew…sorry about that.” She sniffled her loss and continued walking like nothing happened, leaving everyone confused. Veronica was the first to enter with everyone lagging a bit behind. Her eyes looked around until they spotted her mother, Blake, coming down the stairs in casual clothes and wet hair.

“Hey everyone! Finally home I see? And with a friend?”

“Uh classmate. I wouldn’t exac…ummm that’s not important. Hehe, I’m Eliza Marigold.” She stammered. It didn’t really dawn on her that she’d be meeting Mrs. Belladonna herself today. “You look lovely. Though…you look a little red? Are you sick?”

“Oh it’s nothing! Just umm got out of the shower is all.”

Veronica’s eyes narrowed. “Where’s ma?”

“Out back with Jaune.”

“Really?”

“One hundred perfect!” Blake said, unusually preppy. “Well I don’t keep you kids held up. I’ll be in the living room. Nick, Summer, I think your mother is in the garden.”

“Cool. She must be setting up the candle test already. Follow me Eliza.” Nick took her hand and guided her.

“Think I’ll get lost or something?”

“No, I just don’t need you judging every inch of this place until you find something to criticize.”

“……It’s too bright in here.” She heard Nick snicker at her attempt. “You suck.”

With those two out of the way it was time for Summer to mosey to her room. “Finally, nap time!”

“Don’t you wanna practice too?”

“What they’re doing is something I already know. Besides, Nick and I do most of our practices separate. He’ll get me when he needs me. Wake me up if you need anything.”

Veronica waited for the girl to get out of sight before giving her mom a look meant to inspire shame and embarrassment. “Really? We’ve been out all day ya know? You had plenty of time.”

Blake put her hand over Veronica’s face. “Shush your face. It happens sometimes. Thank you for the heads up.”

“Y’all are gross but that’s nothing new. I won’t mention it again if you could bring dinner up to my room. I’m gonna be spending quite some time in there.”

“Even across the world I guess some habits don’t change. Deal.”

xxxxx

In the garden, Weiss stood on the balcony with a cup of coffee. The sound of footsteps behind her caught her ear. She was more than a little surprised to learn that they belonged to not just Nick. “Eliza?”

“Mrs. Schnee. Thank you for allowing me in your home.” Eliza gave a curtsy.

“How’s your father?”

“Oh you know him, always up to something.”

Weiss wasn’t sure if that was good or bad considering his track record. “I see. Well make yourself comfortable. Nick, everything is already set up. Never would’ve thought this is how you’d try to get this done. Don’t push yourself.”

“Heh, push myself? Me?”

Weiss playfully rolled her eyes and left the balcony, ruffling Nick’s hair on the way out. Nick looked at Eliza confused. “You know you don’t have to be so formal around her, right?”

“Let’s not focus on my speech and pay attention to why we’re here. Anyways, how does this training work exactly?”

Nick walked to the railing to point at the fifteen candles spread throughout the garden. “The goal is to light all the candles at once without burning anything. It’s harder than it looks. It requires timing, speed, accuracy, and control above all.”

“Never took you for one who cares much for traditional methods of fighting. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you use your glyphs to manipulate the elements.”

“Yeah, because I suck. Summer on the other hand…” He hunched over in defeat. “Not so much.”

Eliza couldn’t help but scan the area multiple times. This couldn’t be all there was to it. Could it? The five candles in the actual hedge maze looked a little challenging, but Nick was…Nick! Despite her reservations about his attitude, he was smart and knew how to work.

“Do you increase the candle amount as you go?”

He nodded. “That’s the natural progression. Summer can do thirty without thinking much about it.”

“Meanwhile you can’t even do half that amount. You sure you’re the older twin?”

“I don’t see how that’s relevant.” He pouted. Nick grabbed his sword and got into his low stance.

“So I’m just supposed to observe you?”

“No. I’m going to need help with the fires too.”

That’s not something she wanted to hear. “Tsk, alright. But first, let me see if I’m able to do it. Wouldn’t be that good of a teacher if I couldn’t.”

She climbed on top of the railing to get a better look. She raised her right hand to the sky and took a breath. Five flames ignited her fingertips as she thought of the best approach. Moments later, Eliza launched all five with a downward swing, another five swing left, then the final five to the right. Each flame danced on the winds below them before finding their targets.

Amazed, Nick’s jaw dropped for a second before saying anything. “First try!?”

“Not exactly. You did say all at once so that may have been cheating. Let me try again.” She wrapped both arms around herself then swung them out, causing a gust of wind that blew out the candles.

Nick watched closely. Breathing, posture, line of sight; anything he could to gain knowledge. Eliza cuffed her hands together. A small flame flickered into existence and grew slowly until it was the size of a baseball. Eliza threw it over the garden underhanded. The moment it reached max height she pushed her hands downwards like if she closed a lid. This made the flame split apart into embers that fell quick enough to reach each candle. Nick couldn’t believe she was two for two.

“Seems I got the hang of it.” Eliza blew the candles out and hopped off the railing. “I’d do it while off the railing but I’m positive we know the results.”

“Yeah no kidding. While I’m lucky I picked the right person to help me, doing that so easily kinda stings. Not gonna lie. You really are a sorceress.”

“Tsk, flattery gets you nowhere. Assume your stance.” She ordered. Eliza kept a close eye on Nick. He opted to square his feet with his shoulders, a sturdy stance for sure. “So far so good.” His blade pointed up and outwards. A red glyph began to form at its tip, conjuring a ball of intense flame that was as big as a softball. Eliza’s eyes narrowed. She could not believe what she was watching. “You’ll miss.”

“Huh?” Nick said, trying to focus.

“If you shoot the fireball then you are going to miss.” Eliza channeled a silver orb in her palm that bursted into shimmering light. Nick’s glyph suddenly vanished and took the fireball along with it.

“Hey! Don’t just negate my semblance out of the blue! I didn’t even shoot it yet!”

Eliza wasn’t sure what she had expected from this training. It was clear now why a talented person like Nick was fumbling. Frankly, it was annoying. Down right inexcusable. Eliza folded both her arms. “You’re so idiotic in the strangest ways possible, you know that right? To think you’re stronger than me?”

Nick huffed. This wasn’t constructive at all. “You gonna actually help, or continue to insult me? If I knew how to do this on my own then I wouldn’t ask for help.”

Nick ran his hand through his tangled hair and let out a sigh. Eliza could tell he genuinely had no idea what was wrong. It kinda got to her. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be picking on you like that. You weren’t wrong to ask for help.”

“Normally I have an inkling of how to progress but I’m hitting a wall. All of this is just…”

“Too much?” Eliza leaned over and thumped his head. “Because it is. That’s exactly your problem. You are doing far too much at once. Why are you trying to do so many steps at the exact same time?”

“What do you mean at the exact same time? All I did was make a fireball.”

Eliza could feel her eye try to twitch. “Okay. I should’ve expected that from you. Guess I’ll teach by showing.” She stood beside Nick and made a flame. “See? Now this is as basic as it gets, just straight up fire. A fireball requires controlling the shape of the flame;maintaining its heat as well.” The flame swirled around itself to make just that.

“Okay? I’m following you so far.”

“If a fireball was all you were making then no big deal. However, I just saw you attempt to make a fireball that has to keep its shape, burn hot enough, long enough, and must be aimed at multiple targets at once. No mind can do all that on a dime. It’s simply too much.”

Nick watched Eliza move behind him, putting her arms right on top of his, guiding his movements as if she was holding his blade. Her chin rested on his shoulder to get a clear line of sight. Nick was no stranger to being led through an attack, but man was it weird to have Eliza this close!

“Ummm…”

“Bear with it and focus.” She uttered, trying not to yell in his ear. “Make a flame. Just a flame. Let it heat swell and dissipate in sync with my breathing.”

“Shouldn’t it be with my own?”

“Not when your heart is beating like a drum. To think Nicholas Schnee would lose composure from a girl touching him?”

“Can’t hear you, focusing.” He was trying anyway. Eventually he managed to slow his heartbeat. He could tell Eliza was taking deep breaths on purpose to help. In sync, he made another fire glyph as she ordered.

“Good, now make it as hot as you want, then make it into a ball.” The flame shaped into the size of a baseball this time. Eliza smiled. “See how easy it is to control the size after you’ve completed the previous steps? You’ll save dust this way.”

“What’s next?”

“Aiming. You already know where your targets are but you also aren’t in a rush. If you need time to make a shot then all you have to do is make the time.” Eliza raised Nick’s sword higher in the air. “Launch it into the air, confirm where you need the fire to hit, then guide the flames to it.”

Nick took a deep breath and launched the fireball ball in an arch over the garden. He waited for it to reach the middle and fall briefly before making it burst into smaller flames that hit the candles. Eliza finally let go so he could pump his fist into the air.

“Woohoo!”

“Don’t celebrate yet, but good job. A moving target would be harder but not impossible. Repetition will allow you to eventually group certain steps together without having to think about it. You’ll get used to making fireballs that are a certain size and speed as long as you allow yourself to process each step as you are now. I noticed you let the fireball fall. Why?”

“I always end up not lighting them all because the fire dies too quickly. I realized the flame wasn’t hot enough the moment I shot it, so I let it get closer to the candles before having to split it up. Good thing you told me to aim higher or I may not have noticed.

“He can process things like that but not realize breaking the steps up will make things easier? How does his brain work!?”

Another gust of wind blew the candles out. “I’m willing to help you further but I think it’s time you held up your end of this bargain.”

“Antsy, aren’t we? Fair enough.” Nick put his sword down and sat on the railing. “What I’m about to tell you is going to make your tournament life a hundred times simpler. This is your second King of The Hill. Remember the rules?”

“Of course I do.” She followed his lead and sat down as well. “All previous tournament and combat skills leading up to the tournament are calculated so they can rank you compared to the other contestants. In order to progress higher you must defeat the person directly above you in the rank to switch places. Those who win are rewarded a reprieve from being challenged immediately to decrease rematches, but the loser can be challenged by whoever is directly below them. Conversely, if you challenge a person and lose, then you have to wait a set period before trying again while defending your current spot. The entire tournament is on a time limit that tests endurance, strategy, and the skills you’ve used all year. The winner is whoever is ranked number one by the end; the king of the hill.”

“Correct! It’s pure chaos. However, you forgot an important thing. You’ve participated once and managed to get third, so that’s automatically where you start.”

Eliza’s eyes lit up. “That’s a rule!?”

“Yep. As long as you still participated in prior tournaments this year, which you have. Congratulations on skipping the taxing part. Now you’re in the grueling section. The only way you go up is through me and Valerie. A slip up could cause you to waste too much energy and that could drag you out of third if you lose or even win against me immediately, because if I get challenged and win, then I can challenge you again before you challenge Valerie or after you hypothetically lose to her. Let that sink in for a moment.”

Eliza could feel her heart drop to her stomach. If she were to beat Nick and lose to Valerie then at best she’s at a third of her strength for a rematch she doesn’t want. Beating Nick was a goal but she didn’t need to do it twice in a day! The worst part is she is at his mercy in this scenario; getting a reprieve only if he needs one. He could very well best her and then she’s even more tired defending third place.

“Is it sinking in? Third place is its own special hell. Let’s knock Valerie into it.” He smiled.

“And how do we manage that exactly?”

“By knocking me into it! I want to take a dive in our match. A good one. The two of us will put on a spectacle to show our might that ends with me losing. This will throw everyone off into thinking you are exceptionally strong and-”

“Are you saying I’m not!” She folded her arms.

Nick chuckled nervously. “Let me finish before you get upset. Yes, you're strong, but will think you’re stronger than me by a decent margin. This is where the mind games kick in because the two of us haven’t actually used that much energy, but the other contestants don’t know that.”

Eliza rubbed her chin. “You…want them to fight you?”

“Exactly. No one's gonna pass up the opportunity to get a leg up on me. You know that better than anyone. Unfortunately for them, I’ll actually be trying against them and I fully intend to go end them quickly. This does multiple things. It makes the gap between the top three look bigger, allows me to stir the lower ranks rotation, keeps you rested, and makes Valerie anxious because you will not immediately challenge her. We are going to burn time until it gets to a point that once she’s knocked out of first, getting back up will be nearly impossible.”

“I fail to see how that’s possible. If she’s rested-”

“That’s just it, she won’t be. You can challenge her freely and not worry about me for most of the tournament. Use the time to learn how to fight her then I’ll challenge you again and win, then immediately go fight her. You’ll briefly be back in third place but fourth place holders will be exhausted and think twice about challenging you, Eliza Marigold; the person who beat Nicholas Schnee.”

“You made a safety net for third”

“I made a safety net for you! I will beat Valerie so she’ll fall to second place and that’s where you jump in to knock her to third. By that point she’ll have to wait and losing twice in a row is gonna give people ideas. Even if she beats them it’ll be a race against the clock and you can challenge me to avoid fighting her if it comes down to that. Boom, guaranteed second place for you with a potential at first place.”

The plan was insane, daring, and yet clearly thought of. “This is…a lot. Not to mention not full proof. What if I actually don’t need you to weaken Valerie and can take first place for myself?”

“Then by all means take it. I’ll knock Valerie to third myself and then fight you. Careful though. If I win you’re stuck with her and plenty of time you have to stall.”

She didn’t like the sound of that. “What if I refuse this off altogether?”

“That’s fine. We’ll just all have to do our best.”

“Your entire plan hinges on you beating Valerie. What if-”

“I’ll win.” He deadpanned. “I can take her this year. No questions about it.”

He started giving that same exact look he did a few days ago. “Not that I’m not interested but this feels a little unlike you.”

“Is that bad? People are always saying I’m too soft around Valerie. This is a tournament and there’s no rules against teamwork. You in?”

He hopped down and extended his hand. Nick did his best to seem casual about all of this but it was clear to Eliza he was pretty frustrated at Valerie. It wasn’t her place to pry. If he was willing to go this far then she might as well keep an eye on the entire thing. A chance to progress, and a good event. As long as those two things happened without incident then she had no reason to object. Then there was the other problem. She already helped him train…Eliza shook his hand.

“Glad to do business with you. I guess it’s only fair now that I give you the choice to stop training me. Wouldn’t want this to feel like I’ve gained so much tangible progress while yours relies on-”

Eliza tossed him his sword. “Quit with the chivalrous act. If I don’t train you to my standards then I’m positive your plan is bound to fall apart. Helping you here can only benefit me, or did you already forget I could teach you a thousand ways to improve your glyphs and still even the playing field?” She made another silver orb.

Nick gulped. He actually did forget how big of a pain in the ass it was gonna be fighting her. Semblance training doesn’t mean much if you can’t use it. “Have I ever told you that you can be terrifying and comforting at the same time?”

“Nobility should be just that. It’s why people like your face so much whenever you look like you beat the crap out of somebody.”

“People like my face because I’m handsome!!!”

“Less chitchat. More candle lighting.”

Nick hunched over in defeat. Marigolds, what can you do with them?

#rwby #rwby au #nicholas schnee #summer schnee #oscar pine #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #eliza marigold #val valkyrie #rwby twin snowflakes

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practicalmagicintuitions · 3 years

Text

SH general + general love reading

DISCLAIMER: If you will send me an Anon, I will answer in the same tone as your ask, opinion is written.

All information and statements made in this reading or any other post of mine are all alleged until proven to be fact and for entertainment purposes & usage only. All information stated is based on my intuition and my tarot cards. Opinion only. The readings have no intention to cause any harm to the individuals, people featured in it

I have to tell you I know nothing, absolutely nothing about SH. I haven’t seen him in anything. So it was a challenge for me, but I loved it. Therefore I cannot really answer questions about him which is not about this reading, but anyhow if you have questions or want to tell me something, go on!

I used The Llewellyn Tarot by Anna-Marie Ferguson so we will have a few different cards potentially, I will describe those.

General Past-Present-Future This part of the reading is everything, carrier, love, everything.

Four of Pentacles, King of Cups rx

4 of P is about financial stability. investments it is also about hoarding being guarded, closed.

I think in the past he was maybe unnecessarily worried about money and his number one goal was to establish himself financially. This caused that KofCrx situation where he didn’t really have the time or urge to have a meaningful deep relationship. Or even if he had he wasn’t acting really nurturing in it. He was turbulent, overwhelmed and guarded. Maybe he has a fear that women want only his resources, money, fame, or he thought he can only focus on one thing at the same time and he chose finances not emotions to focus on.

4ofP also means saving for a bigger thing. House, travel etc. With the rx Cups, it could mean work alcoholism in the past. As a father, partner etc this king could be moody or overly protective. But this King could be very kinky too. If this would be a future family reading I would say this could mean fertility problems.

4ofP sometimes comes up if someone's upbringing was lacking money, so hoarding, saving is important. This card also means someone has a belief in themselves. He has a clear vision of who he is, where his boundaries lie etc. This also could mean someone is a little bit of a control freak, likes orders or if their things are in order etc. This card also means (because of the closeness and guarded part) that someone is very private. He doesn’t like to share any part of his life

Present

The Magician.

His present is filled with creativity and goals he wants to manifest. He is a very independent thinker. confidence, self-rule, freedom is important to him. He is charming and has leadership qualities. I think he has a clear vision of what he wants and is working on it to make it a reality. Maybe he is spiritual, connected to his higher self or believes in God etc. The Magician has all of the symbols of the 4 suits, so I think he finally feels he has everything he wanted to take the next step, to create his dream future. Especially if he was hoarding in the past, so this is definitely a step up.

Future

Seven of Swords, The Fool

I think with the 7ofSw he will release everything that holds him back. In this deck this card is more like acceptance, leaving something behind kind of acceptance. Accepting that we made some mistake that’s why we didn't have success in certain areas in the past ( I am getting that is more like about his private, love life) And with the Fool is a very new beginning

In this deck, this Fool is not some daydreamer who is wandering around and bumping into the Magician by accident. No, this Fool is quick, fast, knows what he wants, knows his goals.

It’s a pagan deck, and the Major Arcana is based on myths and legends of medieval Wales. This fool is Peredur (or Parsifal) who was one of the knights of the Round Table. Here he is only a “fool”. His mother was who advised him to seek Arthur and claim his knighthood. So he has a goal right at the start. His mom gave Peredur many pieces of advice one of them was he should seek the love of a fair, esteemed woman. So this maybe could be real-life advice he received from his mom or his family.

Which led us to the relationship part of the reading.

It was interesting to see that the relationship part was in tune with the general one.

Past- Page of wands rx

In the past, he was unreliable, lazy. He was not ready for a real relationship but he always made excuses for it. He probably felt it is too much effort and he wanted to focus on his career. He was tense, he wanted to move all the time. Maybe physically maybe from relationship to relationship. He was a charmer who maybe spent the night with you but he wasn’t particularly enthusiastic in the morning. He was the “I have to run, I am late” guy.

Present - The Star

This card is again, being calmer, after the storm (this card comes after the destruction of the Tower). Being one step closer to our goal. This is the realisation that purely earthy goods are not enough and we need a deep soul connection too. With a partner, with friends, family. It could mean he is involved with some type of charity work or social causes, maybe he could meet someone through it but I get more like a general vibe, maybe this type of work will help him to be more open, not that guarded. It is also peace, freedom, guiding star. For me, with the Magician above means that he is very aware of his presence and what he want to achieve in the future and he is hopeful about it. And again, the Fool in this deck is a very determined one. But the Star card itself is a long journey type of card, you need to be patient. But I think he knows this. And this is not just romantic love it is more universal love, that’s why this can be about charity.

Future - Seven of wands rx

This card is warning you being too patient or doing nothing can be dangerous. So while he is on his patient and calm route with the Star this shows it has a flip side too. But I don’t think this is the strongest message here. What I am getting more and this is an overlooked meaning of this card, is that he will find new ways and approaches in a future relationship other than battling or confrontation or just sneak out from inconvenient situations. Especially, if we look back on his past with the PofWrx and with his general future card with the Fool. So he knows or will know he needs new ways. He is hopeful while trying to manifest that and make it a reality ( the Magician, the Star). He is ready to let go of his guarded way of life, the battling and let people in.

In general, I think at this moment he doesn’t really have anyone specific, maybe he is dating or seeing someone casually but what I get is that he is ready. In his soul in his mind, he is more familiar with the idea to have someone serious or give a chance to have a meaningful, serious relationship. And I think this is an amazing phase. This is the energy I got. So I feel from now on it is up to the circumstances and not to him, because he is ready. He has done the hard work, the most important one. And one law of the universe is we get back what we put out. So I think he has a good chance in the romantic field to receive back amazing things because he learned and done the work.

I hope you enjoyed it, I know I overlooked a few things and it could have been 2 pages longer but I wanted to type it because I promised this a long time ago. I also had a little health problems in the last 2 weeks and on top of that I am refurbishing my house and this is a nightmare but I didn’t want to use those as an excuse. But the last 2 weeks was not calm for me, so I couldn’t do a longer reading. Hopefully, the next ones will be longer.

I hope you enjoyed it.

Be blessed.

#pmitarotreadings #tarot reading #tarot #celebrity tarot #opinion #alleged #intuitive tarot #tarotreading #sam heughan

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marshmallow-phd · 4 years

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Catching Rain

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Wolf!AU

Pairing: Minseok x Reader

Summary: You were more than satisfied with your life. You attended a nice college, had nice friends, a nice boyfriend. That’s what your life was: nice. You weren’t looking for anything more, so what were you to do when this seemingly harmless boy walked into your life and turned your nice little world into one much more dangerous?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I Epilogue

Junmyeon stared at him for a few blinks. Awkwardness washed over Minseok as he ran a hand through his hair. Maybe saying it out loud was a mistake. Maybe he should have tried seeing you as a human first, just to make sure that the pull was real and not some weird effect of running for so long. Maybe the trees were giving off a weird perfume that messed with his head.

“Y-you think you found her?” Junmyeon stammered. “How? Where?”

“In the woods, just now when I was out with the others,” Minseok answered.

Junmyeon scratched the top of his head. “Wow. That’s, um… that’s convenient.”

Minseok scoffed. “Sure. It could be. Except that I was a wolf.

“Oh.”

Neither spoke for a minute or two. Minseok tapped his foot against the worn boards of his bedroom. He was tempted to tell Junmyeon never mind, to forget it and that he’d figure it out on his own – then go ask Jongdae for his advice. He was easier to talk to.

But a part of Minseok knew that wouldn’t be helpful. Given Jongdae’s reservations on the whole “mate” ordeal, his advice might not be the answer. “Ignore it” wasn’t exactly the best route to go down.

“So, you just need to meet her in person?”

Minseok looked over at the alpha, a bit surprised. Yeah, that would make sense. That would probably be the best way to solve all of this. You meet him in person, feel the pull yourself, problem solved. He nodded.

“Did she give you any hint of what her name is or any other clue as to how we can find her again?”

Minseok was unable to hold back the flinch at Junmyeon’s question. There was a moment’s hesitation before he reached under the pillow and pulled out your notebook. He really, really hoped this didn’t come across as creepy or inappropriate. “She accidentally left this behind,” he explained. He flipped open to the cover where what could only be your name was displayed.

“That’s a good start,” Junmyeon smiled encouragingly. Taking the notebook and securing it under the crook of his arm, he stood up from the bed. “It might be a long shot, but we can see if she’s a student at the university.”

Minseok jumped up. “Really?”

Junmyeon nodded, patting the older wolf on the back. “Being a professor has its privileges.”

Rolling his eyes, Minseok headed for the door. “Let’s just go and search the records, Professor Kim.”

“I really shouldn’t be doing this.”

“This was your own suggestion!” Minseok snapped. They were already in his office, Junmyeon in his chair with the registry search already pulled up on the screen. Now was when he decided to start questioning his own plan?

“I know, I know,” Junmyeon grumbled. “But now that I’m doing it, I feel like I’m crossing a line. I’m a brand new professor, I could get in serious trouble by using the registry for personal use.”

Minseok felt only a tiny bit of sympathy. Besides, a lie as to why he was looking up a particular student would be easy to make. “If the stories are true, then it’s worth it.”

Junmyeon’s hands hovered over the keyboard before he could type in the name. “You mean, the stories of what could happen after you find your mate?”

“Yeah…. Those ones scare me.”

“Hey.” Junmyeon turned in his chair and clapped a hand on Minseok’s shoulder. The latter looked over, anxiety more than apparent in his eyes. “It’ll be alright. Mates rarely ever reject their wolves. Besides, who would ever want to reject the smart and handsome Kim Minseok?”

To his horror, Minseok actually felt his face heat up from the compliment. He shoved Junmyeon’s hand away. “Stop it.”

Fairly pleased with himself, Junmyeon went back to typing in your name, snickering to himself.

“Alright,” Junmyeon sighed after clicking through several, somewhat unnecessary, search criteria. He hit the desk with his palm, very pleased indeed. “She is a student here. With the Fine Arts College.”

Minseok leaned in closer and confirmed with his own eyes that the ID photo on the school’s site matched who he saw in the clearing. By now, he was sure he’d know that smile anywhere. He just needed to learn about the rest of you. “That explains why she was out in the woods taking pictures.”

“Ah, a photographer.” Junmyeon smiled brightly with a twinge of mischief. “The others will have fun with that.”

“Can we not tell the others?” Minseok asked quietly. They’d already lied and said that they were headed to the university for “emergency meetings” with students. The pack hardly cared, murmuring “see you later”s as the two eldest members walked out the door. As much as the others would deny it, keeping secrets from them wasn’t as hard as they thought.

It wasn’t that they didn’t care. They were family. If something was wrong, they were there for each other. Despite what had happened in the past… well, they were a pack. They would listen and help - after a few jokes from the peanut gallery.

“They’ll figure it out eventually.”

Minseok nodded. “I know. But I’d rather have this whole thing figured out before they catch whiff of it. This is stressful enough without their antics.”

“That’s… accurate.” Junmyeon laughed a bit to himself at the thought. “Alright. I’ll keep it to myself. Besides, what harm could come from keeping this a secret?”

Relief helped Minseok relax his shoulders, the burden eased just a tiny bit. “Exactly. Now, though I’m sure I’ll regret it later because of how stalkerish it sounds, what’s her schedule?”

The next morning, Minseok was full of confidence. He was dressed much better than his normal laid back, might have just rolled out of bed, might have just come from the gym style. The guys always made fun of him for eighty percent of his closet being athletic wear, but he preferred being in clothes he could move in.

Today, well, he could still move in these jeans and the T-shirt was breathable, at least. Armed with the knowledge that you would have to cross this part of the campus to get to your morning class, Minseok leaned up against one of the trees littering the courtyard and waited. His watch slowly ticked the seconds by. Each little tock sent his heart racing faster. He was going to see you in person, as a human this time. Would the pull be different? Stronger? There wasn’t any other way to know until he saw you.

And there you were.

With slow, almost heavy steps, you made your way down the sidewalk. Your eyes were unfocused. Okay, that must mean you were preoccupied. Something was weighing you down. He almost chickened out, telling himself that maybe he should try another time when you didn’t seem so downcast.

The wolf in his chest, mostly dormant up until now, growled at him. That second part of his nature wasn’t usually pushy like this. Before the clearing, the wolf only showed up when Minseok’s frustration was getting the better of him. And that was usually Baekhyun’s fault. Right now, though, the wolf was pushing him to go forward with the plan, barking and clawing to get what it wanted. Because who knew when another good chance like this would happen?

Alright. Minseok gave in. After running his hands through his hair - a nervous fidget - he replaced his ball cap and strutted out to put his plan into action.

You were two seconds away from screaming. Or throwing something. Or a combination of the two.

Last night you hadn’t thought much about it, but this morning an idea came to you for an upcoming project in one of your classes and you wanted to write it down before it left you for good. Only problem? Your notebook was missing.

You tore through every pocket of your bag, became a tornado around your dorm, and even crawled around your car like a toddler to try and find it. But there was only one sorry conclusion you could come up with on its whereabouts: the clearing.

Whimpering, you sat down on the asphalt next to your open car door. Every possible scenario ran through your head. The dew from the grass ruined the pages and ran the ink, making every note illegible. A rabbit taking it back to use for its nest. That wolf making the leather binding its new favorite chew toy.

You laughed to yourself at that last thought. Do wild wolves even like chewing on things like their domesticated brethren? Then again, that wolf was an odd one. Given his behavior at coming across you in the clearing, you weren’t sure the ordinary rules of nature counted for him.

One last sigh and you picked yourself up from the ground. For now, you would have to put off going back to the clearing. Class started soon and you couldn’t really afford to miss it. You threw your bag over your shoulder and used your foot to shut the car door before clicking the fob and activating the locks. The beep-beep told you that all was secure so you headed towards the main campus.

The stress you were feeling seemed to be manifesting itself on the faces of the commuting students around you. Or, really, they were just as stressed as you were, since that was current college life. Though their own source of stress was probably vastly different from your own. How were you going to tell Erik that you’d lost your notebook? He was attentive about those kinds of things. Soon he would ask where it went or why you hadn’t used it in a while. Hopefully, it would still be in the clearing with only a minuscule amount of water damage and you wouldn’t have to come up with some lie as to how you lost it. The truth would only cause a fight that you would prefer to avoid.

“Oomph!”

Your shoulder suddenly crashed into a solid object, bringing you out of your thoughts. The sound of paper flopping through the air made you flinch.

“I am so sorry!” Still not looking at whatever poor soul you ran into, you crouched down and started to help shuffle together the insane amount of worksheets.

“It's alright, really.”

“No, I should have….” You looked up and nearly gasped.

Meeting the eyes of the person you’d ran into sent your head spinning. The world seemed to be tilting back and forth as if it were on a teeter-totter. Your breath caught in your throat. Never had you seen this person before. There was no rational explanation for why you were having this sort of reaction. Not even the handsome leads in the dramas you watched caused your heart to beat this fast.

Staring back at you were irises that were the deepest brown eyes you’d ever had the pleasure of connecting with. You were mere inches from the round yet straight nose and the wide, shining smile that revealed its owner’s pearly teeth. Though focused on the face, you could make out a fitted black tee and jeans snug tight.

“Been paying attention,” you finished lamely and awkwardly.

“No, I was in too much of a hurry,” the man countered. Or, boy? You weren’t entirely sure. He had a timeless face, the kind that could both easily make him a tenured professor or be asked for his ID at the liquor store.

“I’m sorry. Here.” You held out your poorly stacked papers out for him. “I don’t make you anymore late.”

“No! No, I-I’m not in a hurry!” he stammered. “I just… I just usually walk really fast. Having friends that are eighty-five percent legs created the habit.”

You laughed, nearly snorting out your nose between giggles at the joke. The muscles in your legs were screaming at you for how long you’d forced them to stay crouched, but you ignored them. To you, it was like time had momentarily paused. If you stood up or broke eye contact, then the clock would tick on again.

Guilt yanked you back into reality. You shouldn’t be reacting like this, thinking like this when you were committed to someone else. Clearing your throat, you pushed yourself up and broke the stare. Time started forward again.

“I, um, I should get going.” Yes. Yes, you should be getting to class. So, then, why were your feet refusing to comply?

The smile on his face didn’t dim as he, too, straightened up. “Right. You probably have class. I won’t keep you, but… I’m Minseok.” He held his hand out for you to take.

You hesitated a moment and then metaphorically shook your head. It was just a friendly handshake. Hardly cheating. Besides, you doubted you would see him again on this big campus. “(y/n).”

As soon as your palm met his, a strange heat or electricity ran up your arm, causing you to jump back in surprise. Minseok also seemed surprised by the charge.

Almost nervously, he laughed, “Static electricity is always a shock, isn’t it?”

“Ha!” You slammed a hand over your mouth as soon as the sound escaped. You should not have laughed at the pun. Trying but certainly failing, you covered the laugh with a pathetic cough. “It was nice to meet you, Minseok. I hope you have a good day.” You hurried down the sidewalk, barely catching his confused response.

“You… too.”

You didn’t stop until you made it inside the building, shuffling over to the side so you weren’t blocking the entrance. Back against the painted cement blocks that made up the wall, you forced your thoughts to cohesively straighten out.

This was a college. Funny, attractive boys were a dime a dozen here. Erik was one of them, no offense to him. You liked your funny and cute college boy. From your brief interaction, you didn’t see anything different or special about that Minseok. So why was your heart still refusing to calm down? You placed a hand over your chest as if that would put it back to normal. Taking the risk, you peeked out the glass doors, but the sidewalk you’d run into him was now empty.

Who was that boy?

A valid question, but one for which you were not going to actively pursue an answer for. Going forward, you were going to put the boy out of your head and move on with your life, leaving it nothing but a random encounter without consequence or side effects.

But as you headed down the hall to your classroom, something told you that this was nowhere near the end.

#exo #exo wolf au #exo wolf!au #minseok x reader #xiumin #kim minseok #exo werewolf au #exo werewolf!au #exo supernatural au #exo series #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #untamed wolf universe #Catching Rain

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 3 years

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Hello! Love your blog. I was wondering if I could get some typing help? I have a general idea of what I am, but that’s not saying much since I have a tendency to hop between a few of them (INTJ, ENTJ, ESTJ specifically). Either way, hopefully you can help me settle it.

I’m 22 and about to graduate from college. It’s been a journey, because I’ve transferred twice and changed plans a few times, but that’s the proper college experience, I think. One transfer closer to home can be owed to depression and Covid, while the first was simply me not meshing with the campus. I’m not too worried about how it’ll affect my grad school apps due to good grades and valid reasons.

Despite the schooling-related indecision, I tend to get an idea of what I want, then fixate on it heavily. Example: I recently tried to publish a novel I’ve been working on for years now. Realistically, I know the odds of getting your first work published and making enough money to start a career on it are beyond low, but a big part of me thought “yeah, except I worked on this draft consistently all these months and this feels right, so it has to pay off” – of course, it didn’t. That’s not to say it wasn’t worth it, but I’ve come to accept it won’t be that easy, so I’m going to focus on a job with more security first lol. That means proceeding with law school. Some friends might think I’m selling my soul by putting my dreams on the back burner. I disagree, though, because if writing is meant to be I can still make it happen this way but with more security. Plus, I’m used to having some higher objective to motivate me through each day, and I don’t like feeling aimless. To me, that would be settling for less: wasting time working next to minimum wage at some place I can’t see myself staying.

I’d like to think of myself as spontaneous despite knowing I’m really not. When I’m with friends, maybe, but I’m more than happy to do nothing on Friday nights, knowing I’ll be able to wake up early tomorrow and do whatever I’m doing at a decent time. That being said, I would be happy to hop on a flight across the world if someone offered to pay the way. I love travel, so I’d hope to find a career that makes that possible. The same goes for whatever work I’m doing. Ideally, I could move from place to place as I do my job, because I fear being rooted will keep me from seeing everything I’d like to see.

I’m definitely an introvert dichotomy wise, but if group work appears, I’m happy to make a plan and remind everyone when a due date is near, and I expect them to follow through or provide some forewarning. I’m not outright nasty when someone inevitably slips up, but I’m not going to give them an excuse either. Can’t relate since I’ve never had a problem with procrastination. Like, I’d say I’m procrastinating, but to me procrastinating is choosing not to get ahead on the project due next week while I have spare time now. That makes me sound like a robot or a liar, but I’m mostly just very aware of my limitations and have learned how to manage work in a way that keeps me from having to stress.

I have no idea how to end this. Quick notes? I’m ambitious but not competitive – literally cannot relate to envy, because I don’t think someone having something means you can’t have it too – you just have to work on/for it. I’m not very curious lmao. Like, I’m as curious as the average person, but I don’t care about how things work (Ti slacking?). Uhh, fandoms annoy me. Like, seeing fans distort characters and needlessly project onto them in cringe ways makes my brain itchy. I’ve been called insensitive. I can easily cut someone off after finding, for a fact, that they’re being manipulative. Whatever baggage they have, I don’t care. I don’t see the point in fighting for a relationship when a “friend” is working against you. I’m also the “advice friend” because I don’t have drama and seem to know how to diffuse it easily or cut it out completely. Now that I think about it, all of my closest friends have a lot of anxiety, so maybe I collect them and care for them a little since I have none.

Hopefully that wasn’t too much useless info. I think I’m mainly struggling on differentiating between lower Ne vs Lower Se. My indecision comes in rare bouts, so maybe that’s the weak Ne manifesting. Or maybe I’m lower Se for forgetting the larger scheme by focusing on material things like getting to travel and making a high salary? Whatever. These are things most people prioritize, though. Let me know if you need any specifics. Also, thank you for taking the time to read this! I really appreciate how informative your blog is and all the resources you share.

Hi anon,

To be honest I am really not sure based on this, and it might be good for you to revisit this after a little bit of time out of school. I would rule out the Ti-Fe axis, but I can actually see arguments for either high Te or high Fi My guess is high Ni if you have high Te you don't really sound like a high Si user - and part of what is tripping me up the most is that you said a lot of things that make me thing of high Fi and the spontaneity of Se or Ne, but there's a lot here that really sounds intuitive but distinctly not like an Ne user. So I actually think there are arguments for either INTJ or ISFP, and I actually lean a little more towards "ISFP with good discipline/time management" than INTJ.

Here's my thought process, which hopefully can get you started.

I do feel like transferring twice is a little abnormal (not bad, just more than the typical college experience of maybe one transfer and changing one's major once or twice) but COVID did fuck with things more than usual so no conclusions there.

The fixation on writing a novel and the long-shot of gaining enough success to focus on that full time - particularly right out of school or even before graduation - is either intuitive or possibly high Fi. I really do not think an ESTJ would have that idea - not that they wouldn't be a writer, but I don't think they would have had the same expectations surrounding payoff and would have assumed from the start that this will not be their career initially. For that matter I have my doubts on ENTJ, but it could be possible for INTJ.

The part about spontaneity actually fits really well with auxiliary Se or Ne, in that those types at your age will have moderation from Ni or Si respectively and will often want a combination of stability but also the ability to travel a lot and move around. The example you gave actually still seemed very spontaneous; a lot of ExTJs for example might really dislike doing nothing on a Friday night and would instead have something planned. What you describe sounds very go-with-the-flow, just in a low-key way.

The part about procrastination indicates that Ne is probably off the table but Se is possible; some SPs are pretty good at being realistic about getting things done and it sounds like you don't have the high Te motivation of "I must get this done early" (not that high Te users can't procrastinate or do things on time but not down-to-the-wire).

I often tie ambition/competitive nature to enneagram more than MBTI, but I will say a lot of Te users and especially Te-doms tend to be both. They don't have to be (and if they're only one, usually it's ambition over competition), but it's pretty common. Curiosity is complicated but not caring about how literally everything works does seem like it would rule out Ti and I'd fully agree there. The part about being frustrated by fandom distortion of characters is relatable to me and I feel that comes from a place of sensing, ie, were you not paying attention to canon, so that seems like a point towards high Se for you. The parts about advice and interpersonal relationships mostly just reinforce that you sound more like someone on the Fi-Te axis, which you already suspected, but again...being the advice friend, particularly from a caring position, seems more high Fi to me than INTJ; a lot of IxTJs (and definitely ExTJs) at your age are just not emotionally ready for that level of patience with anxiety. I know I wasn't.

I would also say focusing on the material things (travel, a liveable salary) is more in line with higher Se! Te users do have a measure of pragmatism, so again, can't rule out INTJ, but the travel especially is what's making me think Se is pretty high in your stack.

All in all? My guess is an ISFP with good time management skills, possibly with an enneagram 6 adding to the stability/pragmatism. That said I wouldn't totally rule out INTJ (possibly also enneagram 6?); I just think it's less likely.

#mbti #isfp #intj

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sandoriyon-p · 4 years

Text

headcanons: carlos oliveira + reader with anxiety

notes; ladies and gentlemen, finally. after a few months I finally managed to complete a request. no excuses from me, anon, just apologies. we still have a lockdown tho, right? important; I’ve never suffered from serious anxiety and everything that comes with it. yeah, I know how it’s like to be hella stressed, but that’s all. I did some research for these headcanons, but still, this is not perfect. I’m aware of it. still did my best. also, this can or can not have some serious mistakes. and truth be told, I’m way too tired to re-read this again and again, so, please, try to survive these mistakes.

warning; anxiety

very important; @enjoyloveandart huge ‘thank you’ to you, querida. wouldn’t be able to get through this without your help. <3.

Before we start with the headcanons, allow me to say this: Carlos knows what fear is. He knows how it’s like to be scared of something or someone. He saw things he cannot even properly describe, something that could never happen in, well, a normal world. He saw things that were everything but normal.

He has his weak moments, when the dread nearly paralyzes his whole body, making it impossible to move properly, even for a millimeter; when his mind becomes dominated by the same fear, making it impossible to think properly.

However - he cannot say he knows how it is when having to deal with anxiety.

Don’t understand me wrong here: Carlos knows and understands that fear and anxiety cannot be truly compared or seen like they are the same thing. He knows basic information, basic facts…

...the thing is: he doesn’t really know how to approach it properly in terms of what to do when someone has anxiety and/or when someone has to go through the symptoms of it.

Indeed, he has a good eye for noticing the first sights that something is wrong. He may know, may have an idea, what is the cause, but… he doesn’t really know what to do.

During your pre-relationship or relationship, you’ll have to either tell him or not tell him about your anxiety. It’s completely up to you what you’ll do:

[tell him]: Carlos will greatly appreciate the fact that you trust him enough to talk, sincerely, about the condition you have. Obviously, he’ll let you talk while listening to every word you’ll have to say. No judging, no interrupting. If you’re going to have some difficulties in, perhaps, expressing yourself or finding the right word, he’ll simply wait. No matter how long it’ll take, no matter if it’ll take a few minutes or a whole hour - he’ll patiently wait for you to finish and, only after that, he’ll start talking/acting. A supportive touch to your shoulder/hand/etc. will probably bring your attention fully to him again. His whole expression will be soft, however, you won’t find pity in that. Your condition doesn’t make him look at you differently, like you’re now weaker in his eyes. He’ll let you know it - he’ll tell you that it doesn’t change the way he looks at you. He’s not going to leave you because of it (hell, like he would be able to do it anyway).

[don’t tell him]: well, to say it simple and, perhaps, a bit too “blunt” - you’ll surprise Carlos. A lot. Remember what I said? That he doesn’t really know what to do? Well… yeah. Indeed, there is a huge chance he’ll notice something is off, that some situations or places make you and your behavior change. He’ll have an idea what can cause that. However, as I said, he won’t really know what to do. Should he straightforwardly approach you about this? Ask you what is wrong? Gently pressure you to give him the answer? Those thoughts will have his mind occupied for a very long time... until your anxiety will let you know it’s there. If you’ll have it “attacking” you in Carlos’ presence - this will be a very difficult time. However! Don’t think he won’t do his best, do everything to help you. He’ll be confused, lost, yes, but he’ll be ready to do everything to have you back to him. Nonetheless - don’t think he’s going to do something without your permission or/and something that may make your state become worse (I’ll describe this properly later, don’t you worry).

[back to the main headcanons] I’m going to repeat myself one more time: Carlos will truly struggle while trying to find the best actions, the best words. One more time: He’ll do his best nevertheless. However! He’ll want to be better in that, to know exactly what to do and what to say. That is why he’ll make very long and deep research. Chances are very high he’ll do that during the night, after he’s sure you’re sleeping peacefully and cannot catch him doing that. (It may or may not make him embarrassed). He’ll go through every book/webpage he can find, every definition, every explanation. Every advice and idea of how to help will be read by him.

Don’t mind him, he’s just want to… make sure he knows how to help you, how to make you feel better.

Still, it doesn’t mean he’ll be immediately the best in that. Don’t get me wrong, he’ll still struggle while helping you, but, at least, he’ll know what to do and what to avoid. Please, be patient with him and try to understand him too; give him some time to get better in helping you. It would mean a lot for him to know that you understand how difficult it can be for him too.

Alright, but what your sweet boy learned during his research? Well, it turns out that… it wasn’t really necessary. As lost as he was, he still managed to choose the right approach while helping you; during those moments, Carlos didn’t… really think about what he was supposed to do, he just did that. He let his mind, his body work with only one thought, one want: to do everything to help you.

Alright, alright, but how it manifested or will manifest during next time? First of all, there won’t be any bold and sudden actions. During your anxious moment, Carlos will approach you slowly, carefully. All while talking to you, softly, describing what he’s currently doing and what he’ll do next. For example, while walking to you, he’ll say he’s doing that and, after finding himself before you, he’ll inform you he’s going to crunch so he can be on the same eye level. He knows that the touch can bring some relief and support, but, once again, he doesn’t want for it to be bold and surprising. This is why he’ll speak about that too, about his wish to touch you. He’ll do it slowly; slowly putting his hand onto your shoulder or hand - it’ll be enough for you to feel it, but not enough to make you feel worse (well, hopefully). After that, Carlos will carefully watch your reaction to his touch, look for any sights of this being unwanted - if he won’t find any of that, he’ll proceed to next action: getting your attention on him.

It doesn’t matter how long it will take to have your attention. It doesn’t matter, because all that matters is you - you’ll be in his thoughts as he’ll slowly move his hand to your cheek (always observing you carefully, to see if such an action is welcomed or not). Obviously, he’ll still be saying aloud what he’s doing or what he’s about to do.

With his hand finally at its final destination, your head will be gently raised so Carlos’ eyes can find yours. Perhaps, yours will be still unfocused, but, the ability to see you properly will bring a smile onto his lips. Still, he knows this doesn’t end here, so he’ll continue, bringing you out of your moment; slow, but with gentle firmness. Once again, it doesn’t matter how long it will take to have your full attention - he’s here for you, to help you. He’s all yours.

And he’ll let you know that, along with his assurance that this moment will pass soon. That he’s here and he doesn’t even imagine himself leaving you like this.

Banish all the thoughts that are about the possibility of him leaving you due to your condition as they are nothing but lies. He’ll never, EVER, leave you because of that. You’re still perfect in his eyes, you’re still the same person he fell in love with.

Carlos will make his task - his mission - to help you the best he can. He’ll not only be there for you when your anxiety is too much to handle, but also when you simply need someone to talk to or when you need some supportive words. That wouldn’t be all, obviously - Carlos will also try to encourage you to search for help from a qualified specialist. He won’t put pressure on you with that, but he’ll let you know that he’ll be here to make a call for you (if you, for example, would find it too stressful) or drive you to the right place. He won’t leave you alone in this.

All in all, no matter what, Carlos will always let you know, in words or actions, that he is utterly proud of you. That he sees you as the strongest person he has ever met. That he loves you with all his heart and that nothing has the power to change that.

#carlos oliveira #carlos oliveira x reader #resident evil

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bisluthq · 3 years

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this is like really random but i have to vent. so basically i’m 20 years old and in my second-year at a uk university. and like i had the worst first-year of my life, made no friends, and got long covid plus really bad depression so yeah it wasn’t great. and now im back at uni i just am really feeling my lack of experience. iv never even properly kissed anyone let alone had sex and all the drinking games etc revolve around sex. i’m pretty sure i’m bi just like based on what i masturbate to but i’v only ever looked at guys as potential relationships. i just like don’t know how to navigate the social world with no friends and no sexual experience, it just feels impossible. and all my friends from home (1 of which is at uni with me) have boyfriends or at least have had sex. and also clubbing feels totally revolved around sex and kissing. it’s really hard to admit to people that i’m a virgin because people assume i’m a prude or a weirdo when i’m not i just haven’t really had the opportunity. i’m just feeling like such a loser atm. oh aaaand i actually really want a boyfriend rn.

Firstly, this is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no timeline for these things.

Secondly, so this is going to be a long winded Agony AuNat but sometimes I think my best ones are. In a way, this reminds me of a friend I had like 20-21 at uni. Basically we became friends because I caught her forum role playing and I was like “lmaoooo I used to do that too!” and we like bonded over it and like very quickly I began realizing that she did it on the kinds of sites me and my online friends laughed at because they weren’t ⚡️aesthetic⚡️ or sexy. Like this was some high fantasy bullshit lol - no offense also cool - on like ProBoards when we were already in the Jcink era. Anyway no biggie. This girl - a horse girl at 20 still and not in the rich bitch way - proceeded to like… idolize me and obvi y’all know how much I like attention so I loved it. And one night she asked me for advice on how to get kissed because she had been like… really wanting to lose her virginity but things just weren’t happening. I proceeded to give the worst advice ever because I too was just a young un. I said “don’t worry it’s gonna happen for you!!! Like I’m sure your crush likes you!! Don’t stress you’re so pretty and sweet!” And I believed I was saying the right stuff and it comforted her ngl so I was like 👏🏻👏🏻 go Nat you’re the best at giving advice.

Except here’s the problem - it still wasn’t happening. She was going to parties with me and I was like dressing her sluttier like some weird teen romcom movie where I was giving her a makeover and like… no one was biting.

And then - for those who remember the Nat Cinematic Universe - it turned out that rando from my 21st who I randomly fucked? Ya dudes that was her crush lol and she hadn’t told me because she thought I’d figure it out lol and she was mad at me and we sorta stayed friends until I fucked that guy’s friend which was nbd to anyone involved because my bestie fucked him and tbh I fancied the friend because he was this average sized weedy dark haired boy who was very weird looking and she exploded at me and called me a slut and shit and that was that, friendship over.

Unsure what happened next, but the reason I’ve given you this backstory is from my current POV I gave extremely bad advice so I’m gonna try correct with you tonight.

Unless you’re in high school when friends of friends can go between people and say you have a crush, and then you text them and like bam you’re exclusive, you have to work to get ass or make friends. Okay the other exception is if you’re like SUPER hot idk about that life, but tbh probs even then. Life isn’t a teen movie, and you’re not gonna just catch someone’s eye and that’ll be that. Dressing nicely might be part of it, doing your hair and makeup in whatever style you want, and making it clear up front - especially at uni when imo branding™️ matters a lot - what your interests are and such shit all factor in. I’m not saying change who you are because again that’s supremely bad advice: figure out who you are. Figure out what you want to wear (experiment!), who you want to talk to (strike up convos on campus!), what you like doing (try things out!) and - most importantly - what you’re comfortable with. Try drinking - and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Try flirting - and if you don’t like it, know that you can go from friends to this and not everyone enjoys that. Try clubbing - and if you don’t like it, know that there are a ton of societies you can join on campus and campus events you can go to that don’t revolve around that, so seek those out and find your tribe.

Fundamentally, college is what you make of it.

Which means that like unfortunately my dude, you’ll make a fool of yourself. Probably more than once.

But know that friends won’t manifest and boys won’t manifest unless you make an effort and put yourself out there. Ask people to coffee. Ask people to the pub. Girls, boys, enbies, whoever.

Re the anxiety about “never having done this before” - I think that’s totally normal. But also like lots of other people haven’t and everyone has had a first time. In drinking games you can lie lol. You don’t need to advertise it’s your first time for anything if you’re uncomfortable with it. I didn’t tell my first kiss he was my first kiss lol because it was unnecessary info for him tbh (it wasn’t hs boyfriend even tho I’m pretty sure I was his lol but he was my third 😌).

But you also don’t need to be shy about it because honestly 2nd year uni is so fucking young. It’s not like you’re coming to me as a 40 year old virgin and asking for advice (again no timeline but I’m not there yet so maybe not the right person to give it). Most of the people you’re hanging out with haven’t had a ton of sexual experience either lmao. On my 20th birthday I had been with exactly two people, my Angel boyfriend (in hindsight) hs ex and the Rabbi’s son (literally no one’s Angel boyfriend but hopefully he and his tiny dick are married now and Mazels if so) who I fucked a few days after we broke up to prove a point. I was a bad lay (and remain so with guys unless they’re into The Hiddles Experience, not for lack of opportunities, but because we don’t have to master all things). I also - unlike you - had never masturbated. I’d never had an orgasm. I liked sex with hs ex but couldn’t explain what I liked or why, it was just fun sometimes and other times it wasn’t. (In hindsight with clit action it was fun and with pure thrusting it wasn’t). So the fact that you have wanked already gives you a head start over many of the girls guys will be meeting.

So like… figure out what’s comfortable for you. Try different things out. Walk away when you don’t like it. Never do stuff that goes against your values. Don’t be overly shy in ways that wind up making you uncomfortable, like with the story that started this, and don’t expect these things to happen if you make no effort. That applies to friendships and ass alike. And sometimes what you think will be ass will turn into friendships and sometimes what you think will be friendship will turn into more. Let it. That’s what uni’s for.

Final point: try reduce the pressure of having a boyfriend. It’s fine if it happens, but since as you say you’re not a prude, it’s fine if it doesn’t. It will eventually. Try go into encounters with the open mindedness of “this could be ass, this could be friendship, this could be more” and like clear eyes full hearts can’t lose tbh.

Final final point: join societies. Join all the societies. The best way to both get ass and make friends and make friends discussing the ass you’re getting is by joining societies.

Good luck, hope this helped, love you lots and enjoy this year and the next (and beyond if you choose Honours or postgrad).

#agony aunat

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moonprincessdiviniation · 4 years

Text

Pick a card - Important Messages (October)

**All readings are open to interpretation and are meant as a guide. Nothing is set in stone and nothing should be treated as fact. Not everything will resonate, so take what does and leave the rest. If no pile resonates, it just means your message isn't in this post. But thank you for reading and I hope your month is transformative and full of good energy** 💜

Pick a Card photos

Pile 1 - I 💙 USA

Pile 2 - Liberty

Pile 3 - Red star clip 🌟

Pile 4 - Blue star clip 🌟

**Every pile is going to be different in terms of how many cards fell out. I tried to keep a set number in mind, but spirit urged me to take more with certain piles**

Pile 1 - I 💙 USA

Important Messages:

You're through a transformation. So now is the time for isolating, regrouping your energy and focus. You have to look internally and find the flaws and kinks you've been avoiding. Stop lying to yourself and accepting the lies given to you by others. It's time to release the secrets and truth you're holding. Everything will come out soon anyway, why are you holding back? Just let everything out in the open and let the dust settle where it wants. Things are going to hit the fan, absolutely, I realize how scary that is. But it's not something that can be avoided any longer. You have no more time to sit idly by on your hands. You're going to be offered things that you don't want and possibly be left with a poor financial state. But finances are just around the corner, along with a new opportunity to help get you back on your feet. So let things go, release it. You can't have this moment of awakening without it. 💜

Advice:

You're having trouble sympathizing with others and finding it hard to find the things that mean something to you. This is your heart chakra asking you to help heal it. It's so low, you've been closing yourself off for long enough. Now is the time to let others in. Those who know and understand what you need. Surround yourself with people who are supportive and understanding, step away from the routine you've found yourself stuck in. Let yourself sit in the grass and feel the wind and sun on your skin. Nature misses you and your soul is in need of the energy mother nature offers. You have to release the old to make room for the new energy that is coming.

Pile 2 - Liberty

Important Messages:

You're in the process of moving or have just moved and it's hard to settle in. You feel like all you do is the same thing every day and work, work, work. Whether that means school work or paid work, I'll leave that up to you. But your hard work isn't for nothing! Keep pushing through to the other side, keep fighting 💜 good news is just around the corner! Whether it's in the form of just good news you've been waiting to hear, financial help or a possible love interest. It's coming and it's because you've been working so hard to build this new life for yourself. You've matured so much emotionally and have gained a new perspective on things when faced with emotional struggles. You don't lash out anymore because emotions have taken over, you remain calm and look at things objectively. You've become stronger and because of this, you've been asked to do a lot more than you're normally used to.

Advice:

It's okay to say no. You're not a machine, you're human. If something is too much for you to do on top of an already busy plate, say no, or put it off until you've handled what you currently have. Ask yourself why you're doing all of this work for. What is it that you're hoping to get out of doing all of this? Do you have an answer? If not, maybe it's time you start asking yourself. What is at the core of all this work that you're trying to achieve? Set boundaries for yourself and others and don't take no for an answer. You've been lenient for far too long and people have been taking advantage of your kindness. It's time to remind them you're a human, not a machine. Take care of yourself because you haven't been. You've stopped brushing your hair, you're forgetting to brush your teeth before bed, ignoring your water intake and getting meals in. You've stopped caring about what you need and your body and soul are taking the brunt of it. It's time to start talking and letting others know that you can't go look for this thing because you're better at it. You can't help with this because they waited last minute to work on it. Start focusing on you and speak up for yourself 💜

Pile 3 - Red star clip 🌟

Important Messages:

You've been frustrated lately. More than usual about things that normally don't bother you. But the universe has been listening to your wants and needs, someone new is coming. Someone who will, quite literally, sweep you off your feet. They'll have checked all the appropriate boxes you've set for what you look for in a partner. They'll come in so fast you won't even realize their effect on you until you're wrapped around their finger. This person will help to bring so much stability in your life that you can't help but start to fall for them. It'll be slow going, you won't get to see them often or be able to talk as often as you like. This lovely pandemic has made it impossible to socialize with others. But good things are coming and you'll find you're more inspired and creative when you're around this person. Love is coming and it's not going to take long to find you. So prepare for a new person to have in your life, make room for them. They're meant to help you and are going to make things easier to get through 💜

Advice:

You've been feeling alone lately, like it's just you against the world. But it's not. Your guides are right there with you, helping you along the way and supporting you in what you do. Don't stress about the things that have to be done, just do them. You've already done so much and proven that you're capable of the work. Don't question yourself 💜 it's time to release the negative energies you're interacting with daily. Take back the energy you keep sharing with others and don't let them walk all over you. You have a purpose and so long as you focus on that purpose, you will always be protected and supported.

Pile 4 - Blue star clip 🌟

Important Messages:

My pile 4s don't have as many messages because they're following a plan the universe is guiding. You've been manifesting good things and people who will help you on your path and the guides have been listening. You're being aligned with this person or thing and you're about to step into some financial abundance. This thing you've been asking for, or this person, is coming really soon. They'll come to you as someone willing to learn, with knowledge to share in return. I see a lot of discussion about this thing or a lot of discussion with this person. There will be an emotional connection when you interact with it or them. You'll know it's meant for you, so keep your eyes and ears open for signs.

Advice:

You've been doing a lot of internal work and your vibration and energy are rising because of it. You're probably feeling things a lot deeper than before or seeing repeating numbers, hearing things that you were just talking about hours before. This is no coincidence, the universe is telling you they're listening and it's coming, so be prepared. Now would be a good time to take a break from everything. You've been doing so much that you haven't been listening to your wants and needs. So take this time to do that, what is it that you're missing? Go to friends you know you can trust about things like this. Ask for their guidance, get a reading if they're into tarot. Just because you need a break doesn't mean you have to be alone. Lastly, switch things up! You're so comfortable in the things you've been doing that you don't even know if you like doing them anymore. So read that book you've been putting off, learn that choreo you've seen on your feed. Do something to get your creative energy going again.

Sorry for the delay! But hopefully these are what you needed to hear 💜 stay positive moonbeams 🤗💜

#witchblr #spiritblr #free tarot #free tarot readings #free readings #tarotblr #free tarot reading #free oracle readings #pick a pile #pick a card

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