#but he also gets away with shit solely because either the other demons are way dumber than him-

[everysongineverykey]

love that aziraphale is, in fact, a terrible fucking liar, but continously gets away with the most insane shit throughout history because either a) he's an angel so everyone figures he can't/wouldn't lie or b) EVERYONE can tell he's lying but they don't have enough evidence to do anything about it so they have to just exchange snide glances and/or send their most annoying interns over to bother him until they get something

#good omens #crowley's a terrible liar too funny enough #but he also gets away with shit solely because either the other demons are way dumber than him- #and he's ALREADY dumb- #or because again no one has any evidence #it's like the good omens version of that ut quote: #'so we'll just have to COMBINE OUR POWERS!' #'zero plus zero is still zero.' #'but it's a BIG zero!!'

[the-s1lly-corner]

hiii could i get J, P, Q an U for Slender? thanks! and i hope your day is going really well >_<

More Fluff Alphabet /w Slenderman but these letters!

my days been pretty okay! slow, but not terrible :O gonna be slow from tomorrow until next saturday so i might promote requests being open ponders not proof read!! though to be fair i dont. think i proof read any of my stuff

J (JEALOUSY)-

he can get rather possessive in general when it comes to you or his proxies so uh

don't like, try to make him jealous on purpose, it doesn't end well for anyone involved. actually don't try to tick off forest demons in general

i know i keep saying stuff like "oh god forbid someone make you uncomfortable" in these but like. slenderman is still this huge powerful creature, i know my interpretation on him is a bit silly n different but he still has roots in the 2010s fandom interpretation, you know?

there will be... a mess... is what im saying

in the case that someone is being weird with you, he's less jealous and more angry, though, of course not angry at you

though there will be hard boundaries set in place if you try to rile him up on purpose, he doesnt want to waste his time on someone whos going to toy with him like that. both in a "hey thats not really cool or healthy of you to do to me or our relationship" and also "im fucking slenderman im a old ass powerful demon, who do you think you are?"

P (PETNAMES)-

he calls you; love, darling, my dear

he likes being called; really anything under the sun, because as long as its something coming from your mouth hes pleased, because it ultimately means hes yours and youre his

q (QUESTION)-

for more context see this post! dives into lore stuff for my au/hcs but it'll help add context to this segment!:

here!

hope the link copied well enough </3 if not you can find it on my blog, titled "all entwined in one web" or something along those lines

anyways

some variant of "why do you stay"

you could have decided to be with literally anyone else, but you chose a solitary self loathing demon who eats people in order to survive, created for the sole purpose to cause issues and harm to humanity

on one hand he wants you to stick around and keep him company; but on the other hand he wants you as far away from him as possible so you can go out and live your own life without being in danger or having to put up with his whole deal

please give him lots of reassurance, its going to take a lot for him to stop asking those kinds of questions; assuming he stops asking at all

U (UPSET)-

i feel like him being upset is similar to the jealousy part of this post, but just more. broad. like hes not going to take shit if youre going to try to upset him on purpose

hes more patient if its accidental, though. diving into a previous fluff alphabet, if its an accident and something that can be helped in terms of future instances hes likely to work through it with you. he knows his time with you is short, if his partner is a mortal, and he doesnt want to waste that time

soft slenderman my beloved, let this man have complex emotions and desires and whatnot

kinda just. vanishes when he gets real upset, though, since he cant control his anger that well and generally just doesnt want you to see him like that- best way to help him like that is to just give him time

if youre the one upset hes going to listen to you, if you need someone to talk to. man of few words, advice can go fifty fifty

either gives good advice or not good advice; and thats on him being around for a long time but not really spending a lot of that time you know... interacting with others in a meaningful way

bonus if you still live at your place he's going to do a bunch of your chores for you. in. varying degrees of success, similar reasoning as above since he doesnt really have a home of his own to do like. dishes or laundry at. still bouncing between if im going to have the mansion be a part of this au of mine or not, and if so, how its going to tie in to everything

shrugs

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta imagines #slenderman x reader #slenderman headcanons #slenderman imagine #slenderman x you

[bthump]

If you were in charge of an adaption of the Black Swordsman, Conviction, and so on arcs and you could make whatever additions or cuts you wanted, what stuff would be added or cut?

Thanks for the ask!

Immediate thought: Cut Moonbaby. Change the fetus into some kind of fucked up puppy looking thing which just exists to symbolize Guts' own pathetic inner darkness as a more objective counterpoint to the Beast of Darkness (which is what I think the fetus' original role was before Miura went ham with the baby shit). During the Conviction arc it doesn't save Casca a bunch of times, rather Casca is endangered less often and escapes from the occasional danger in ways that don't require magic.

No werebaby plot, if the Casca kidnapping turns out to be vital in some way and not something easily changeable into something else then Griffith shows up to kidnap her for other made up reasons, like, say, he needs someone with the brand of sacrifice to do some kind of magic thing, or something. If the Casca kidnapping plot turns out to be little more than an excuse to get Guts to Falconia then Guts just goes to Falconia to try to fight Griffith once Casca turns out to not be a good distraction.

Oh and of course there's no ambiguity wrt Griffith's feelings - we see inside his head at the Hill of Swords, he's going 'oh shit my heart's fluttering again,' and that's the last we get of NGriff's point of view. I feel like that would make his subsequent placidity with occasional hints of emotion even more fun.

I'd adapt the Black Swordsman arc very faithfully otherwise, including opening with the demon sex scene because I don't care, I think it's a fantastic opener, it would set that Verhoeven-esque tone I love perfectly. Guts blows her head off with a quip, cut to credits, cut back to Guts' more somber and haunted glance back at the corpse as he walks away, boom, perfect Berserk opening.

Also with the start of the Millenium Falcon arc I'd reframe Farnese as the point of view character and put Guts at a bit more of a mysterious distance, to mimic how his followers see him, and also to kind of underline his emotional ambiguity. I think canonically he's repressing his complicated feelings, and I think making his feelings kind of unknown but hinting that he's not taking Casca to Elfhelm solely for love would convey that complicated feelings vibe more overtly. Plus Griffith parallels. Make the last time we're in Guts' head for a whole arc like, the scene where he assaults Casca (which I would keep, if we're keeping the Eclipse rape) and we'd leave him on a very dark note and also suggest that he may have a strong emotional reaction to his own actions there, without showing exactly what that reaction is beyond hiring a babysitter lol. It would help fix the impression in canon that Guts just doesn't even have much of a reaction to it.

Oh and if we're centering Farnese more then I think she should have a longer arc of reconciling her religious black and white thinking with her new perspective, rather than a single fucking montage lol. This should be a process throughout the whole Millenium Falcon arc, so I guess I'd add some scenes where she still acts like a spoiled brat, maybe it takes her longer to treat Casca with decency and she has a revelation about protecting her that changes her attitude, still treating Serpico like a servant in an obnoxious way, either denying responsibility or being overly consumed by catholic-y guilt at points, etc. The whole point should be watching her slowly grow, not 180ing her personality.

Also Isidro goes home after the troll shit. Old Village Dude shows him the error of his ways. And consequently Puck is fun again.

Anyway yeah I think that's it. This was fun, ty!

If you're interested I've written a long answer to a similar question that includes the Golden Age here.

#ask #anonymous #a #b #theme: opinion #theme: adaption

[mommy-daddy-issues-poll]

Red Son (Lego Monkie Kid) Propaganda

"This guy's got Mommy and Daddy issues up the wazoo, like, his Dad was imprisoned for *500* years under a magical seal leaving him to be raised by his mom. Well, it's heavily implied that he was at least mentally abused by his mother, for how often she belittles and condescends to him. (like seriously her term of endearment for him is '[her] sweet useless boy') leaving him with such a drive to prove himself that this kid SINGLEHANDEDLY frees his father from his magical restraints, something that was implied to be basically impossible for those 500 years because he SCIENCED the shit out of magic until magic had to give way, and my man didn't even get a single 'thank you' from either his mother OR his recently freed father.

it's implied that his father has trauma, or was just following the example his mom laid out, and even in flashback it's implied he actually was quite a good father to Red Son before his imprisonment, but as things are now he's VERY much just as bad as his wife. He openly calls his son a failure, makes it CLEAR that love is fully conditional (like there's a scene when another villain was chasing after Red Son, and his Dad immediately calls him 'worthless offspring' until its revealed that that villain didn't manage to catch him and Red got away to which his dad IMMEIDATLEY goes 'never doubted him for a second' and it's funny but it's also fucked up bc later on it's basically pulling teeth for him to even call Red his 'son' (and Red is so excited about it too like he sincerely hasn't heard his father even so much as claim him as his own))

There's an entire sequence where Red is invested in a certain competition that neither of his parents are interested in, only when after he storms out his parents decide to involve themselves in the competition independent of Red specifically because they knew if they did it would upset him

At one point his father gets possessed by an evil entitity and goes into a whole tirade on how worthless Red is and he just stands there and accepts it and you get the feeling that very little of this is anything he hasn't heard before. he's not even shocked at some of the shit coming out of his father's mouth until accusations of him betraying the family start getting thrown around

Anyway get Red Son out of that household pls and thankyou"

"Red Son’s father was sealed under a mountain for the majority of his life, and lived with his mother up until very recently. His mother can be seen grabbing at his face and calling him a “sweet, USELESS boy” to his face, and otherwise being similarly cruel to him.

When his father is once again back in his life, Red Son is notably scared of his father, and this fear lingers even after his father seemingly takes steps to try and improve. It’s implied that his father had never called him “son” before he took these steps.

Much of Red Son’s character revolves around his inferiority complex which stems from how his parents treat him as useless and stupid. Both of his parents have called him useless in canon at least once, and they both joined a race neither had interest in for the specific expressed purpose of crushing Red Son’s ambitions of winning the race, and no other reason. (Canon dialogue also includes Red Son angrily saying, “Oh, so I guess I'm supposed to make barbeque for peasants, with little, unworthy, disappointing tastebuds-” before looking away suddenly, shrinking in on himself, and saying in a sudden sad tone of voice “- who shame their fathers…” before immediately going back to anger in the following dialogue without missing a beat.)

TLDR get this demon a therapist on GOD"

"This guy. This g u y.... The sole son of the renowned Demon Bull Family, the child of a Celestial maiden and a demon king, so ferociously powerful they had to nerf him when he was a baby so he now has an instinctive deep seated inferiority complex. It's not just that though- his relationship to his parents when we first meet him is. B-A-D BAD. His father immediately focuses on his failures from the moment he's revived, his mother calls him useless and demeans him on multiple occasions, and it's taken FOUR DAMN SEASONS for their actions toward him to be called anywhere NEAR ""loving & caring"". It's literally such a mess, and their growth is very slow and in the background so it's agonizing on top of that. Red Son never really has a confrontation episode, just... Keeps trying so so hard, and sometimes it gets him recognition, so he drives himself deeper into trying harder. It's awful honestly. So yeah this guy has so many issues and I blame his family for like 80% of them "

“hes the silliest guy ever. hes a wet cat. hes a bug on the pavement. he skitters and scampers. both of his parents patronize him at best and go out of their way to cause problems for him. he wants to live up to their ideals and expectations but all he does is fail, causing him to double down and fail Even Harder. one of his parents is a demon bull, making him technically a cow boy.”

“He's so sillay <3 his parents are so mean to him I want better for him”

“RedSon is the son of PIF and DBK (acronyms). He is shown to suffer from emotional abuse and often seeks out validation from his family. The fandom is currently coping with the fact that RedSon's emotional turmoil may never come to a satisfying end in the source material (which is a shame). Apart from that the source material doesn't focus a lot on the DBK family structure and when it does (mainly in Season 1) we saw the emotional damage in RedSon's psyche and life. This leads us to understand very little of the emotional damage RedSon suffers from and why it happened. Due to this, I believe that RedSon should win due to him despite suffering from emotional turmoil is one of the coolest characters the fandom has recieved that turned from a villain into a hero.”

#propaganda #tournament poll #tw child abuse #red son #lego monkie kid #mommy daddy issues poll

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers as Roommates

Intro:

So, the MC has left the Devildom and, of course, everybody is quite sad… But this time around, they have a little trick up their sleeve. With just a bit of magic (and training thanks to Solomon) the MC can now summon one of their favorite demon boys up to the human world with them! There's just, uh, one problem though… After being summoned to their side, their beloved demon now refuses to leave it.

Alright MC, enjoy your new demonic roommate!!

Lucifer

Apparently Lucifer is on sabbatical… And yes, he does appreciate that irony in that.

Lucifer actually has a surprising amount of human world money stashed away in alias accounts (because this man renting a cheap motel on business trips? Let's be real) so he uses that wealth to get them a place befitting his standards… which are high.

Spacious apartments in nice areas that would make even the upper middle-class shit their pants? Congrats, MC, that's where you're staying now!

Even with all that money, though, Lucifer CANNOT sit idle for a second. The guy is used to working all his life and just sitting around would drive him insane!

Expect him to still be running some Devildom affairs long-distance style while doing something else on the side, probably stock market stuff tbh.

Is going to want to pay for and provide everything himself but will respect the MC if they still want to work and split the bills (not to a ridiculous degree, though, like half-and-half because that would mean getting three jobs at least).

A lot of trips and vacations too, especially if the MC likes to travel. It’s a good excuse to relax while also technically doing something so he doesn’t lose his mind doing nothing in particular.

He is going to be that strict roommate who expects you not to be a slob and isn't afraid to say so. Regularly scheduled cleaning/organization days are mandatory because hygiene is important. Take some pride in yourself and wash up, MC. That kind of thing.

Also going to have short-fuse for… antics. If you want to prank him, do so at your own risk because he may prank back (and that’s not nearly as fun as it sounds, trust me.)

Mammon

Yeah so, living with Mammon is like the inverse of Lucifer. Prepare to be poooor.

Man has no human money, are you kidding me? Even if he did, he wouldn’t keep it for very long. Couples budgeting is a MUST if you’re looking to survive.

The apartment is going to be whatever the MC can more or less afford on their own with Mammon shoved in somewhere like a cheap lamp… Don’t expect a lot of room.

However, Mammon is great at the hustle. Man can work multiple jobs and actually be pretty dang good at them. For the most part, anyway. He may occasionally trip up and get himself fired, but he bounces back quick.

If the MC isn’t so moral he can also uh… “find” some extra money lying around too. Just be careful when playing with fire, right?

Even if they’re poor as shit, Mammon is still a blast to be around. The guy knows how to have fun on and off of a budget. Lots of “window shopping” (getting kicked out of stores for goofing off), nightclubs, amusement parks, and cheap fun. They’ll never be without a story to tell or a smile on their face!

He IS pretty slobbish though. He’s not going to remember to clean up after himself unless told, but he’s also not going to be bothered if they don’t do the same thing. A weekly cleaning day is going to be ideal unless they don’t mind living in a pigsty...

Prank waaaaars!! The kind of guy to get them both water guns and have a war in the middle of the apartment complex. Good luck getting any rest with Mammon around.

Leviathan 

Whelp, your room is now his room, quite literally MC. You had to pick the shut-in…

The guy isn’t exactly poor but what human money he does have is all wrapped up in his many interests… Merch interests specifically. 

Thankfully, he won’t take up too much space. Put him in a room with a desk, bed (or bathtub), TV, and computer and he’s good to go! 

He’s not going to be a complete bum, thankfully. There’s no way that they can get him to leave the apartment, but he can run small online stores (usually anime themed) or become a streamer. Probably enough to help pay the bills, but not much more.

If they don’t mind having a literally permanent housemate, then being with Levi has its own kind fun. Lots of anime marathons, movie nights, and game nights. Really, it’s just like how he was in the House, but now transported to the human world.

Is probably going to want a pet goldfish, snake ,or lizard so prepare to house Henry 3.0.

When he does leave the apartment, it’s to take the MC to conventions, concerts, or anime stores. He always manages to get just enough money for these trips, but never says where the money comes from… Best not to ask. Could be black market for they know...

… He’s a shut-in. He’s a shut-in roommate. Hygiene isn’t exactly his main concern. If they ask him to, he’ll make sure to clean up after himself, but he may need a reminder.

Can have a fun side, but just don’t mess with his stuff too much. He doesn’t need a Mammon 2.0 around too...

Satan

He's either hatching a plan for world domination or adopting 10 cats… One or the other.

About as poor as Mammon at first, but threat not. He won’t be for very long. Satan is intelligent beyond his years (or equivalent his years maybe?) so he’ll probably net himself several degrees within a couple semesters like a certified prodigy.

At that point, there really isn’t much to worry about (aside from student loans, join our pain Satan) but he can sell himself just fine and probably get some high paying job like a lawyer or doctor or whatever… I’m not jealous…

They’ll start out in a pretty modest place, but there will be upgrades fairly quickly when he starts racking it in so Satan’s a fairly decent choice as a roommate.

He does still have that nasty habit of breaking things when he’s pissed off, but that can be subverted by getting a pet! Just hold up whatever cat you own when he’s about to rampage then declare that he’s scaring/upsetting them and he’ll stop in his tracks. Works every time!

Probably going to be the most domestic out of the brothers. He enjoys cooking (and ain’t half bad at it either), shopping is a practical necessity, he’ll take care your pets like they were his own flesh and blood, etc.

There will even to be points where he’s in bed reading in the middle of the night with tea and reading glasses like some kind of grandma so take that image for what you will.

Satan is the prankster of the household, but he does his pranks more as a way to give grief to his enemies rather than for funsies. Be warned, if you poke this bear he will retaliate for sweet, sweet revenge and he has centuries worth of pranks behind him. Good luck.

Asmodeus 

It's a new party every night, sweetie, get used to it!

Asmo is the only other brother who has some amount of money to offer from his own trips to the human world, but it's just a modest amount.

Is totally willing to work to help pay for a nice place. He wants a building nice enough to host parties!

Would go back to modeling and maybe dip his toe into acting from time to time… He gets a lot of gigs (this IS the Avatar of Lust after all) so they won't be strapped for cash. Which is good, because Asmo is a very "business by day, but party every night" kind of person. 

Do know that his shopping is NOT going to slow down either. Keep an eye on the budget.

He’s also going to make friends wherever he goes so he’s going to want for them all to hang out at least somewhat regularly.

That being said, he can tone it down some if the MC so desires, just know that they can’t keep him cooped up in the apartment for too long or he’ll start getting antsy. You can’t keep this stallion locked up, MC, he needs to run free!!

Being with Asmo is going to be like having a free pass to whatever gathering the MC wants to go to, at least. He could even get them into red carpet events with just his sheer charisma, charm, and er-… “charms.” Who doesn’t want to meet their favorite actress or singer, eh?

But oh, sweetie, please don’t prank him! Life is too short to waste on silly games (he also just genuinely just doesn’t enjoy being messed with so best not do it).

Beelzebub 

Brave choice, MC, but quick question. How in the world are you going to pay your food bills???

Beel is a real sweetheart through and through but his stomach is NOT. That thing will eat them out of house and home! (Maybe even literally!!) Both of them are going to have to work and probably some pretty looong hours (cause he’s got no money either).

Honestly, Beel would be best as a personal trainer in the human world. He’s a pretty decent combination of tough but genuinely kind and motivating. (The fact that he’s pretty easy on the eyes would help out a lot too).

But the MC won’t have to worry about Beel sneaking off with someone just looking for some “quality time.” He’d take his job seriously, though he’s not particularly versed in what the human body can’t handle so only the really dedicated (or masochistic) would stick with him anyway.

“Good work last week, April! You did so well that we’re going to go from 500 pushups to a thousand! … I can see you’re worried, but I believe in you.”

But hey, he can deadlift well over 2,000 pounds without breaking a sweat so who has the balls to argue with him, anyway?

Trying out every restaurant in town would be a must. He’d even plan out vacations for them with the sole purpose of travelling the globe and tasting the different flavors. Food trips!!

He's neat enough since he used to tidy up a lot for Belphie so no need to worry about him picking up after himself (except for the occasional pile of wrappers. Toss those out unless you want ants)

I mean, you can prank Beel if you want. He'll be pretty good-natured about it as long as it stays harmless. Just don't ruin any of his food, got it?

Belphegor 

So… Belphie makes for some excellent décor! Really he is great at laying around and looking fantastic just… he’s not that great at much else...

Realistically, choosing Belphie as a roommate is kind like having a high maintenance pet. He’s good for love and cuddles, but he’s not going to be helping with the bills or anything unless they whine incessantly about it.

If the MC can make enough for the both of them, then it should be fine. They won’t get upset and he won’t be crabby but if not… Oh boy.

Regular job Belphie is a needy Belphie. He’ll come back from whatever job he’s working, likely a night shift, and demand attention or cuddles right then and there. He needs to recharge those batteries, after all...

If he isn’t working then he's at his happiest. He can even pull off being a “househusband” of sorts. He’s not going to go above and beyond the call of duty, but he can keep the place clean, get a basic meal on the table (provided someone teaches him some human recipes), and get groceries if he needs to… You know, basic domestic shit.

They’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that, at some level, Belphie just doesn’t believe in “common curtesy” or “human decency.” If some neighbors are being too noisy for his liking, he will troll them to oblivion and beyond. He may even get sued for it if he takes it too far, so the MC will have to keep an eye on him…

He’s the House’s #2 prankster, but unlike Satan he doesn’t need any malice to be a little shit. The MC will be pranked and it will be at the most unexpected times. Be warned...

Check out my Masterlist for more!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios

[hiccanna-tidbits]

The RotBTD+ Gang Plays DnD! (Feat. my ships, sorry not sorry XD)

So highkey I’ve actually been wanting to do a “The Gang Plays DnD” type post for AGES now, but then I saw @hobie-brown and @ohlooksheswriting-wips do DnD AU posts for RotBTD, and then I was like “Ah shit, I really should finish mine, eh?” So thank you to both of you for inspiring me to get off my ass and actually write the post!!!

Hiccup DMs. He comes up with this super complex plot revolving around dragons (because of course) where the party has to dismantle this society ruled by evil knights who want to genocide all of the dragons. Imagine his chagrin when the party wants to do nothing but fuck around in towns and aggravate NPCs 90% of the time.

They usually end up playing at Jack’s apartment, mainly because Hiccup’s dad doesn’t really want a bunch of loud nerds yelling about 20-sided dice in his household while he’s trying to work, if he can at all help it. Jack’s sister regularly barges into their living room and roasts the fuck out of Jack and his friends for being such damn nerds and eats all of their DnD snacks they’ve set out. If they’re in the middle of a combat session, she always gleefully proclaims that they’re all going to die. While Jack is annoyed by this, the rest of the party finds it deeply hilarious.

Jack Overland plays the absolute mayhem warlock Jack Frost, who got his powers through making a deal with the archfey Prince of Frost and has absolutely no qualms about being an evil god’s mortal Sower of Chaos. He spends the vast majority of the campaign doing such useful things as creating ice slicks under annoying NPCs and freezing people’s drinks. He also plays a Tiefling because absolutely no one can talk this boy out of playing the creepy demon race.

Rapunzel plays a woodland nymph druid who is also the party healer (because of course she is). Her name is probably Sunlily or something else suitably hippie-esque. Whenever there’s downtime (or whenever the rest of the party is also dicking around, and she can get away with it), Rapunzel likes to go into the nearest forest and pick the best berries and nuts for the rest of the party. She also loves baking fruit pies and cooking the best nymph food for her companions when given the chance. Definitely the party Cinnamon Roll (every party has one!). She often will turn into cute animals to distract the guards while the party infiltrates a building.

Merida’s character is the party archer and general ranged weapon master, as well as a raging lesbian. Hiccup learns very quickly that any male NPC who tries to flirt with her will very quickly get impaled with an arrow. She can’t ever decide if she wants to be a ranger or a rogue, so she multiclasses in both for flare. She also plays a Tiefling, and continually insists that her character is both scarier and sexier than Jack’s. In combat, she either Leeroy Jenkins her way in with a sword and just starts slashing every which way, or just shoots 90% of the enemies with arrows before the fight even starts. There’s really no in between. She can get away with this because she’s highkey one of the party tanks, and consistently deals a shitton of damage.

Anna plays a human bard, basically having read over the class options and going “Wait, in this one I get to make stylish medieval music??? And wear dramatic and garish outfits and a dumb hat??? And cast wacky illusion spells??? And do silly little magic tricks??? And INSPIRE EVERYONE??? Hell yeah, I’m in!!!” She mostly uses magic attacks in combat (definitely favors Tasha’s Hideous Laughter), but occasionally when she’s out of spell slots she’ll just take to slamming enemies in the face with her lute. She also has WAY too much fun with Vicious Mockery, let’s be real.

Elsa, upon hearing Jack’s character concept, rolls her eyes so far up in her head she can see her damn brain, and vows to play his concept, but serious–solely out of spite. She rolls up a super OP elf Chaos Sorcerer, filled with lots of brooding angst about how uncontrollable her winter powers can get if she isn’t careful. She combines it a bit with Storm Sorcerer so she can create literal blizzards, and Hiccup ends up allowing it just because he thinks it’s cool. Although Elsa’s character is undoubtedly aggravated by the rest of the party’s antics, she starts becoming grudgingly protective of these idiots and can deal some pretty crazy damage when her companions are threatened. She also contains one of the party’s only brain cells.

Eugene of course plays dashing rogue master thief Flynn Rider. Although his high deception and lockpicking skills certainly come in handy, he’s the most chaotic neutral fucker you’ve ever met and will take any excuse to rob NPCs blind or cheat them out of every cent they have in a tavern card game. It’s nigh impossible to get him to cooperate with the rest of the party much of the time, and often Elsa’s character has to either bribe him with some of her family’s gold or threaten to freeze him to stop him backstabbing one or more party members. Eugene’s character forces Hiccup to add in many more heist plotlines than he originally intended. This delights Eugene immensely, and sometimes he goes a bit crazy planning elaborate heists.

Moana plays a sorcerer water genasi. She can control any body of water, but she has a special affinity for controlling saltwater (i.e. the ocean lol). She also requests an animal handling bonus, but only with marine animals, solely because she thought it would be funny. She’s also an ex-pirate who robbed a lot of wealthy merchant ships and freed their slaves back in the day, which Merida thinks is incredibly badass. Moana tends to get bored and unengaged when there are no bodies of water to play around with, so Hiccup ends up having to add a lot more lakes, rivers, and oceans to the campaign than he originally planned on. Moana also takes a sailing skill, and thus the party often ends up traveling by boat. Typically Eugene and Rapunzel will infiltrate and hijack it, and Moana will sail it. Moana probably contains the party’s only other brain cell.

Astrid plays a gigantic berserker orc barbarian who is never without his trusty axe. Astrid is hands down the party’s top tank, and unquestionably deals the most damage every combat session. Much like Merida’s character, Astrid’s character is absolutely a shameless power fantasy. Hiccup pretty easily picks up on this, but is too polite to say anything about it. Jack also picks up on this, but is hardly as courteous as their DM, and teases Astrid mercilessly. Astrid is not amused.

Rapunzel requests that her weapon of choice be a frying pan, her justification being that her character found a discarded one at the edge of a human village outside her woods and mistaked it for a highly-dangerous human weapon. Hiccup is like “…you know what? Fuck it” and rolls up stats for a goddamn frying pan. Jack has nigh-endless admiration for Rapunzel for choosing such a goddamn memey, absurd, yet oddly effective weapon and it definitely makes the poor boy even more smitten with her than he already is.

Eugene and Merida have a bet going on who can sleep with more sexy barmaids. Merida is currently winning, much to Eugene’s chagrin. She’s not even inherently better at seducing NPCs, she and Eugene have the same charisma stat–she just consistently rolls better than Eugene. Eugene is incredibly salty about this.

Anna and Elsa want to be sisters in-game as well, but neither want to change their race–so Anna decides her character was adopted. Hiccup and the rest of the party go along with it, mainly because there’s something deeply hilarious about a regular human bard being adopted and raised by a family of high-powered elf ice mages.

Astrid is absolutely the sort of player who tends to get bored and restless outside of fights, and tends to fidget and twiddle her thumbs waiting for the next combat session. Jack picks up on this, and purposely does more roleplay for longer just to piss her off. He’s also just a very dramatic fucker and highkey loves roleplay.

When she’s not causing mayhem around the town or sleeping with hot women, Merida tries to entertain Astrid between combat sessions by offering to spar with her. Unfortunately, this does not usually end well for poor Merida, as even the most hardcore and badass of tieflings is prone to getting dumpstered by an 8-foot-tall barbarian orc with an axe. Astrid is, nonetheless, grateful to have someone to fight.

Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana will humor Hiccup and attempt to actually play the main plot. Meanwhile, Jack, Merida, and Eugene are a DM’s worst nightmare. They constantly derail the damn campaign to fuck around, cause mayhem, and do inane shenanigans in every. Damn. Town. They go to. Anna is kind of a wildcard–she’ll typically go with whatever group looks like they’re going to be doing something more interesting. Astrid will go along with whichever group is more likely to get into a fight–which, often as not, is Jack and his posse of terrible Chaotic Neutrals (who have definitely pissed off a number of NPCs into attacking them).

As the campaign goes on, Elsa and Eugene become the beleaguered Party Mom and Dad. Both are quite aggravated by this–especially poor Eugene, who just wanted to play a morally-gray charming rogue who stole everything and got away with it and then accidentally ended up caring about these idiots he got stuck with.

Anna initially joins the campaign because she has a planet-size crush on Hiccup, and inevitably is the one who dragged Elsa into it too. Being the hopeless romantic that she is, Anna writes a love interest into her backstory. Hiccup eventually has the party run into said love interest, and Anna is overjoyed. He starts flirting with her as the love interest, and it’s easily the best 30 minutes of Anna’s life.

Moana and Elsa also give Hiccup pretty detailed backstories, and he works in little subplots for them. Moana gets to bring water back to a dying part of the jungle in the middle of a draught, while Elsa gets to go on a whole sidequest to explore her family history and how they came to be sorcerers.

Jack, Merida, and Eugene also give Hiccup fairly elaborate backstories, but Jack’s and Merida’s are like 99% memes and Dumb Shit. Hiccup tries to give all of them backstory-related plot hooks, but inevitably any hooks he provides are either stabbed, robbed, or frozen. Honestly any plot hook offered to these 3 will be all but spat in the face of and tossed off a cliff.

The one relevant part of Eugene’s backstory is that he and Rapunzel decide they used to be partners in crime before the campaign started. Rapunzel would infiltrate and scout out places he wanted to rob as small, unobtrusive animals (her preferred Wild Shape is a chameleon) and later distract the guards as a bunny or kitten while he went in and took every gold coin in sight. In return, Flynn Rider would bribe builders to not develop into Sunlily’s forest. Rapunzel and Eugene partly came up with this For Funsies, but also it was Rapunzel’s sneaky way of tricking Eugene into having prior connections in the party so he’d be less likely to betray them. It works pretty well–although the entire party is protective of Cinnamon Roll Sunlily, Flynn is certainly especially protective of her.

Astrid does the absolute bare minimum as far as backstories go. She is literally just here to smash stuff, slice people, and beat some fuckers up.

Rapunzel has a backstory, but she’s typically so invested in the main plot and the other party members that Hiccup rarely needs to bring it in to keep her engaged. She’s highkey the party emotional rock, and probably the only one keeping them all together.

On that note, Rapunzel’s character is the ONLY one who can get Jack’s character to take the plot even REMOTELY seriously. Like he’ll be dicking around in the nearest tavern challenging the nearest orc to a drinking game, and Rapunzel will come in and ask him to help them on a Main Plot Quest. And he’ll be like “come onnnnn I’m having funnn” and she’ll be like “Jack pleeeeeease?” and you just. Can’t resist Sunlily’s puppy dog eyes. At all. Also, whenever Sunlily is genuinely threatened, any silliness immediately goes out the window and Jack Frost is OUT FOR BLOOD.

For better or for worse, Rapunzel is not immune to being looped into Jack’s shenanigans. Occasionally if either Merida or Eugene have a particularly hare-brained scheme she’ll go along with it, but by and large Jack is the most successful in convincing her to temporarily abandon the plot and cause mild mischief with him. They once wasted half a session creating an elaborate “ice theme park” for some squirrels in the forest.

Hiccup tries to get Merida to play the main plot by eventually having there be no more sexy female NPCs to seduce in the towns they go to. Unfortunately, this backfires–Merida just hooks up with Moana’s character instead. When asked to roll for how good the lay is, Merida gets a nat 20–and thus her character and Moana’s character end up hooking up regularly throughout the rest of the campaign.

Hiccup introduces a few Wise Old Mentor-type NPCs to guide the party throughout the campaign. While Rapunzel, Elsa, Moana, and Anna actually try to listen to them and take their advice, Merida, Jack, and Eugene absolutely refuse to take them seriously and mercilessly play pranks on them.

At one point, Hiccup gives the party the option to attempt to tame a group of wild dragons and use them as mounts. They all have to make animal handling checks. Anna, Rapunzel, Elsa, and Moana pass. The rest of the party fails, with Jack and Eugene crit-failing. Hilarity ensues.

Hiccup ends up bringing back Anna’s backstory love interest as an NPC regular. Anna thinks he’s just being a good friend and a good DM and trying to incorporate her backstory as much as he can, but really, he just wants an excuse to regularly flirt with her. He hardly has the balls to out-of-game.

Merida comes out as gay toward the end of the campaign. Everyone in the group is extremely supportive, of course, but everyone is also like “Merida…with the amount of barmaids you’ve banged…and the amount of times you and Moana’s character hooked up…this isn’t exactly surprising.”

Hiccup actually finds a way to use Jack and Elsa’s same-concept-opposite-execution characters to the plot’s advantage. He decides one of the main villains will have a prophecy saying he’ll be taken down by a powerful ice mage. The party manages to fool this guy into thinking this ice mage is Jack, and sends Jack to fight him. As soon as the villain sees Jack, he’s like “WHAT??? THIS clown???” (word has absolutely spread throughout the land of Jack not using his ice powers for anything besides mildly annoying trolling). Naturally, the bad guy lets his guard down after thinking he’s going to fight this literal joke, and then Elsa crashes in from the side and absolutely dumpsters him.

Jack tries to defeat the final boss by just annoying him so much that he leaves. Unfortunately, he just annoys him so much that he attacks Rapunzel’s character. Jack’s just like “oh HELL no” and attacks with absolutely nothing held back. Turns out he’s pretty terrifying when he’s not using his magic for Dumb Antics.

During the final boss of the campaign, the Big Bad tries to one-shot Moana’s character, and Merida’s character super theatrically jumps in front of her to take the blow instead. Rapunzel just barely manages to heal Merida’s character, but it’s a really close call. During all this, Merida is like “ah shit...maybe I’m NOT just in this to get fantasy-laid.” After the fight’s over, her and Moana’s characters have a big dramatic love confession and share a Big Damn Kiss in front of everyone. It’s pretty epic.

After the final session of the campaign, Merida drags Moana outside Jack’s apartment and sputters and trips over her words for a solid minute before she finally gets out that through all this nonsense...well...maybe it’s not just in the game that she thinks Moana is hot. Moana just gets this HUGE grin on her face and says “c’mere, Leeroy Jenkins” and just pulls Merida in and kisses her. Cue the rest of the party barging in on them. Merida and Moana freeze, and there’s a moment of terrified silence...and then the entire party starts cheering them on like “took you long enough!”

The entire rest of the party could detect the sexual tension. Literally all of them.

But Eugene is like “HA, THIS MEANS IF WE DO A SEQUEL CAMPAIGN I’M WINNING THAT BET! BECAUSE YOU’RE GONNA BE DATING MO’S CHAR AND THUS NOT ABLE TO SLEEP WITH ANY MORE BARMAIDS!”

By the epilogue session, Jack and Rapunzel are dating. Merida and Moana are also dating. Hiccup and Anna STILL haven’t figured out why they’re so prone to spending half the session flirting when Anna’s love interest shows up, and Hiccup STILL hasn’t figured out why he likes to have Anna’s love interest show up so often. Bless their souls. Maybe they’ll figure it out next campaign...?

Damn I actually really like this...maybe if people like it I’ll do some incorrect quotes or a drabble or something??? Or maybe some HCs from next campaign???

#rotbtd #rotbtfd #rise of the brave tangled dragons #the big four #DnD #D&D #Dungeons and Dragons #jackunzel #hiccanna #moanida #modern au #jack frost #rapunzel #merida dunbroch #hiccup haddock #princess anna #queen elsa #astrid hofferson #flynn rider #eugene fitzherbert #moana waialiki #headcanons #hcs

[maccreadysimp]

breaking down this anti-ian article bc it bothers me ( from the child of a bipolar mother and a male teen with same sex attraction ) while also providing valid reasons ian sucks ( from someone who likes ian )

ive had this drafted for a while so i dont think i cover anything from season 11

tw for i^cest and r^pe

he was with a married man

in this point it points out that he was with kash and he continued his relationship with kash even after linda put cameras in the store

“Ian didn't seem to care about how wrong his affair with Kash was or how much it could hurt Kash's wife Linda, whom he saw at the store regularly. “

that is a quote from that part.

ian gallagher was fifteen in season one, kash was an older man who bought him gifts and payed attention to ian ,, that was not on ian , none of that was ian fault because he was a child

ian wasnt open with lip

“ Ian didn't tell Lip about his preferences and forced Lip to figure it out on his own. Lip was instantly accepting of his brother's truth and even offered to help him figure out any confusion he might be harboring, so it's really strange that Ian wasn't just upfront with his closest confidant from the start.”

no , lip wasnt forced to figure it out on his own and he also wasn’t instantly accepting.

in this point it mentions that ‘they’re extremely close ( bestfriends and brothers ) so its strange ian didnt tell him’

like point 1 , ian is a fifteen year old boy, growing up on the southside , and thoughout the show it has mentioned multiple times that the southside isnt that accepting

back to lip -- lip wasnt accepting, sure he was fine but ‘helping your younger brother figure it out’ by having a (female) classmate give him a blowjob isnt helping

he secretly dated his best friends brother

“Most friends have an unspoken rule about not dating each other's siblings, but Ian broke this rule by secretly entering into a relationship with Mandy's closeted brother Mickey.”

the only thing i have to say about this is , he was still with kash and mickey was a boy in his age group who was gay , growing up in the southside ian probably thought he was the token gay so of course hes going to chase after mickey

he stood by as kash attacked mickey

“Ian didn't do anything to stop Kash from shooting his new lover, and didn't even tell the police about his boss' over-the-top display of jealous action so proper justice could be served.”

okay. because two men he had fallen for had gotten into a fight, there was a gun involved and he panicked, in the end after mickey got shot he went to him

now to address the quote, he didnt say anything to the police because he probably knew that that would bring shame onto kash and his family, along with mickey and his family who are very homophobic

oh yeah and it was like 2011 and cops suck and THEY LIVE ON THE SOUTHSIDE

he and lip tried framing terry milkovich

oh the homophobic and racist dad of his boyfriend and bestfriend who tried to kill him and r*ped his daughter ?

yeah , shit man , that was real bad they shouldn’t have done that /s

he dated jimmy-steves married father

“Ian didn't bother telling Jimmy the truth about his father and didn't end his relationship with Lloyd upon finding out that he had a secret wife and family, either.”

at this point ian is probably sixteen but that doesnt matter bc i wont even address that

he met him at a club and then used his relationship with ned to make mickey jealous which was one of the reasons he kept seeing him, he didnt tell jimmy-steve about the relationship or his father bc he shouldnt find out from him he should find out from his father , again like kash, ned was an older man who payed attention to ian and ned later did develop feelings feelings for ian

he stole lips identity to enlist in the army

he enlisted because he didnt know what to do with himself, its implied/stated that the army timeline was the start of his bipolar

“While impersonating Lip, Ian had tried to steal a helicopter and then proceeded to go AWOL.”

this is because of the bipolar he suffers from, it is referenced later in the series after he gets back and hes manic

ian refused to accept being bipolar

of course he didnt accept it, it is made very clear that his family thinks lowly of monica so of course if hes the lucky duck to get what his siblings demonize her for, of course he’ll not want to be it

“He refused to take medications that could alter his personality or mood.”

okay. this is why im making this whole post, this goes along with part 15 ( or so idk ) ,,

my mother , my dear mother, who is bipolar and doesnt take her meds because they are mood altering , my mom doesnt take med because she told me once that they make her feel like shit, she told me that a little after i was born she started taking them but realized she felt nothing, she felt nothing for my dad or for i ( making her numb )

she told me anti deppresents dont help either because when shes on them and manic it pushes her past productive and into angry

my dad told me that when my mom was on bi polar medication she would seem angry most of the time

he wasnt faitful to mickey

“Ian's bipolar disorder made him very reckless and impulsive and led him to be unfaithful.”

lets break that down.

ians. bipolar. disorder.

this plot point i actually didnt like, mainly bc ian never addresses it so ill give the article a point. but then i take away 2 because they have more of a problem with his bipolar messing with him rather than the fact he never apologized and they never worked it out

ian stole yevgeny

before i start quoting i should mention because his boyfriend, who has supported and helped him is suddenly telling him he needs help, he was helping raise yev so he’ll see yev as his own

“Ian failed to recognize just how crazy he was acting...”

cuting you off right there , he was in a bipolar state, he wasnt ‘crazy’ and isnt ‘crazy’

he cant even keep count of his number of partners

just slutshaming i see

he helped throw frank off a bridge

“His relationship with Frank was understandably never the same after that, as Frank struggled to get over this act of betrayal and cruelty.”

‘was never the same after that’ frank never liked ian, ian was probably his least favorite and that point is very apparent

also , it wasnt just ian , his siblings and his boyfriend caleb

he left a healthy relationship to be with mickey

he fell in love with mickey at 15 , mickey was a comfort and always someone to fall back on, when mickey was taken away and no longer in the picture his heart still obviously was with mickey and when mickey came back he didnt know what to do

he told mickey he had a boyfriend but because mickey has been such a constant in his life he finally has back of course he couldnt resist

he liked trevor, i could tell he did but trevor wasnt the one he watched get r^ped by a russian prostitute, he wasnt the one ian was secretly dating bc it would be a death wish other wise, he wasnt the one there when ian was manic or depressive ( at the start )

he tried blackmailing an old client for money

“Instead of raising the money in an honest manner, Ian chose to visit an old client from his time working at the Fairy Tail and blackmail him into funding the shelter.”

because he felt indebted to trevor and wanted to make it up to him, it would have taken longer to do it in ‘an honest manner’ when his sister would have gotten it instead, he knew how much gay youths like he once was needed a safe place

“He grew up wanting to be nothing like his father, but this whole money-making scheme was straight out of the Frank playbook”

because thats all he knows, he grew up with that ‘playbook’ so of course hes going to take a page out of it, he is nothing like frank , franks money making schemes are selfish and for his own greed while ian wanted the money to help build a safe space for lgbt youth

he let fame inflate his ego

of course he did, hes a southside kid who was destined to fail

also it is very apparent that during the gay jesus era he went off his medication which didnt help

“Before long, he just completely forgot about his ex and focused solely on being a deity”

as much as yes, he did let it mess with his head, he was trying to still help lgbt youth and was going against anti gay churchs , in the end it didnt work out for him because he was off his meds and went over board

he stopped taking his meds

see previous point and ‘ian refused to accept being bipolar’

he actually wanted to stay in prison

because he was doing good in there

ian was helping others and was spreading awareness about lgbt with in the prison , and as him and jail scenes go , we can see people were listening to him and he was trying to make it safe sane and consensual

he let down his army of followers

“Ian admitted that most of his actions were completely irrational and the mere results of his bipolar disorder.”

he didnt want to, we can see this, because he knew he would let down everyone, his family were the only ones to ever ground him and they knew it would be the best option for his own mental health

during the gallavich wedding we can see that a lot of his supporters still have his back because they must know how hard it was for him to put all of that success on something he can’t control

he constantly wasted his potential

this is actually the only point in this article i actually agree with , so only 1/20 i agree with

his relationship with mickey wasn’t actually great

“Mickey spent the first several years of their relationship denying his feelings for Ian.”

he was raised by a homophobic and racist father who he knew would react the way he did when terry had caught the two that one day

“Even after he finally embraced his true self, Ian's bipolar disorder kept them from becoming truly happy together.”

yes but mickey was there for him the entire time and helped him through it, he told him he loved him which was really big for him and did his best to care for him

“They couldn't seem to remain faithful to each other for more than a few weeks.”

back to the point about ians bipolar but for mickey he wanted monogamy , now that scene in s11 may say otherwise but it is very clear that he wants a monogamous relationship with ian and ian ( after getting help ) wants one too, and in the later seasons they are monogamous

“When Mickey asked Ian to run away to Mexico with him, Ian refused.”

he wanted to, it’s obvious, but ian has his family and didnt want to abandon them again, i think part of him knew he would see mickey again because they always find eachother, he gave mickey all of his money and wanted mickey to have a good life

“Their relationship was simply never healthy.”

no it wasnt, but thats why the ship is great in its own way, the gay closet kid raised by a homophobic man is obviously going to have a lot of baggage , and ian who is bipolar and struggling with himself will also have a lot of baggage , but in the end they love eachother and that really shows in season five and season seven specifically

that is all lol ,,, this is long sorry

now, i am not a ian apologist , i love ian but hes a dumbass sometimes

actual valid reasons ian sucks

genuinely believes frank is worse than terry

yes frank was definitely abusive but terry is definitely worse ,,

mentally/physically/sexually abusive , the whole nine yards

terry hired a prostitute to r^pe his son , threatened to kill him and ian on multiple occasions , r^ped his daughter who ended up pregnant and is actively racist

frank on the other hand will make gay jokes but in the end doesnt give enough of a shit , he has attacked his children on multiple occasions but not to the brutality that terry has ( this isnt me excusing it )

sorry ian , terry is worse

never apologized

he never apologized for all the shit he put mickey and his family through, never apologized to mickey for cheating on him , never apologized for all the manic and depressive episodes mickey endured with him

never apologized for walking away when he couldn’t handle it, in hall of shame mickey actually acknowledges this saying ‘its youre whole MO’

debbies sexuality

he has constantly made statements saying debbie isnt gay and that bothers me because , why does it care ? as a gay man and as a gay man who soent time with a lot of lgbt youth wouldnt he support his sister even if shes just ‘experimenting’?

in the recent season he doesnt seem to care and doesn’t say anything but it still bothers me

mickey only getting like 80% of his heart

okay look , i get what ian means when he says this , everyones hes been with has made him who he is but fucking hell dude ,, shut up , thats your husband , thats the love of your life you shouldnt be saying shit like that , especially to him

and then this man had the audacity to say mickey probably feels the same about past flings when he knows that ian is the only one hes probably ever been with/serious about

obviously there is probably more but those are the main ones that come to mind

—

before anyone brings up the trans or bi thing im going to explain my thought process for him

like ive probably mentioned multiple times he grew up southside and obviously only ever grew up with lgb and not t ,, trevor did inform him a lot and ian became supre accepting of everyone,, sexual preference isnt transphobic but i do think he approached the matter badly

now the bi thing , legit all i think is that he doesnt hate bisexual people its just that the man he really liked slept with a woman and never expressed any heterosexual attraction so it probably just suprised him and pissed him off because caleb did cheat on ian

—

if you read this far HOLY SHIT THANKS LOL ,, im not adding things that i think are pro about ian this was just me breaking down that article and giving my two cents :)

feel free to message me and talk to me or send me articles like this about any other character/relationship and i will totally break that one down too lol

thanks for letting me rant

#mine #shameless #ian gallgher #gallavich #mickey milkovich #text post

[thegeminisage]

Here's something I'd love your take on: I read a meta recently (would link it but I can't remember where, ack) that suggested that Sam is able to forgive John in later seasons because a) he's had the whole "family making unilateral decisions for your own good" thing repeatedly shoved down his throat, and b) whatever John did under this umbrella in their childhoods, Dean has done far worse by that point, and Sam HAS to forgive him so by extension he can't really be mad at John anymore (1/2)

(2/2) As someone who has admittedly only seen bits and pieces of the later seasons, this seems to jive with Sam losing a lot of his characteristic early-seasons anger, letting Dean call the shots almost all the time even when he thinks it's the wrong move, and moments of sympathy for John (contrasted w/Dean's growing resentment, which is so interesting!). But! I got some big ol' gaps in my spn comprehension, so was curious if you had any thoughts on this dynamic

wow okay long answer warning! i got carried away and forgot how to use punctuation. nobody is obligated to read all of this lol and the biggest part of the answer is behind a cut. anyway!!

first things first: i think a big thing to remember with sam’s characterization in later seasons is that it’s like...not there, and when it is there, it’s sometimes flat and inconsistent. because dean became sole the main protagonist after the first 8 (arguably the first 5 or even first 2) seasons, sam sort of got demoted to “side character we don’t know what to do with” along with cas and crowley. they all had good arcs pop up now and then (sam had some fun stuff going on with lucifer in s11 and s13) but most of the time the writers either don’t know how to give him a meaningful characterization or don’t care (or both). so we have to do a lot of that work ourselves. 

so, for example, when we talk about sam losing his anger, i like to read it as him OVERCOMING that anger to avoid becoming his father (which may even be where some of the seemingly sympathetic comments come from, because he’s trying to be forgiving instead of angry), but really...it’s that the writers forgot he had anger issues. in-universe explanation vs irl explanation, yk? and i think pretty much all meta about sam in late seasons is written through that lens, whether the writer of that meta knows it or not. including this one! i can’t prove any of this shit, it’s my personal reading, i’m making it up. like there were just SO many different people involved in the production of supernatural that there was a lot of conflict and contradictions in things like continuity and characterization. (most of the writers room hadn’t even seen every episode!) so there’s not one definitive way to go about it. in many ways it makes the characters more nuanced and in many other ways it makes me fucking insane.

as for sam and john and whether or not sam forgives him, i’m actually glad you asked because this has been driving me nuts for a long time and it took me SO LONG to pin it down - sam’s relationship with john is very different to dean’s, and i couldn’t figure out WHY. it’s not that he was “abused less,” it’s not that he loved john less or was less hurt by his actions, so why doesn’t he seem as INVESTED in everything that happened to them as kids? like he says in season 14 he had to learn to let it go and that it was all a lifetime ago for him. meanwhile i think dean still deals with it every day. he’s still stewing in it to some degree 24/7. so like what’s the difference??

i think it comes down to two things. firstly, that while dean didn’t have anybody parenting him except john (and mary, but only for a very short time that he could actually remember), SAM’S parents were john AND DEAN. most of the time dean was the one raising sam, and in fact he arguably did way more parenting of sam than john did. so the person that made dean feel safe and like he could fight back against monsters, the person he was grateful to, was john. but the person who made SAM feel safest was dean. he doesn’t have that same gratitude towards john that dean does and he never will, because of how john made him feel alienated and excluded from their family growing up. dean’s resentment of john is so tangled up in this very deep and unconditional love and gratitude for him that sam just doesn’t have. 

secondly, i think dean has a serious case of “i can fix him” re: john that sam doesn’t have and possibly never had. john just never showed sam the same kind of inclusion and warmth and trust that he showed dean (however rarely he showed it, and however fucked up it was). i think sam figured out very very early on that their quest for yellow eyes was either a long shot or straight up impossible, and that they couldn’t waste their entire lives doing it, and that even if the demon died, john was never going to change. dean 100% drank the koolaid - he really truly believed in a world where someday they’d kill the demon and all retire from the life and be normal and be a family again, because that’s what john said and dean took his father’s word as gospel. sam knew better.

so i think what sam did was just disengage. partially because he felt he couldn’t afford to nurse that kind of anger and not become either his father or lucifer, and partially because even though sam loved john, still loves john, he never needed him the way dean did, because sam had dean. so it doesn’t hurt him as much to just “gray rock” it. i think if sam stopped and really dug into it he’d find that he’s still quite angry (probably more angry on dean’s behalf than his own, at least at first, because in his mind he was able to move past it and dean was not, dean had it worse, HIS OWN trauma isn’t real etc etc), but he doesn’t do that because he doesn’t want to be that angry, and possibly even thinks that if he brought it up dean would jump to john’s defense and it would cause a fight, which the opposite of what a gray rock does.

as for being forced to forgive john because if he didn’t he would also have to condemn dean...i don’t think i buy that at all. sam is fine making dean his exception and he allows dean to get away with a lot of deeply horrible shit he would condemn other people for. partially because he’s dean and sam loves him, but in my ~personal reading~ of sam, this is also because once sam became an adult the weight of everything dean did and had to give up to raise him really sank in, and part of him felt guilty (even though sam arguably didn’t have a childhood either). you know how kids take care of their parents in old age to repay them for raising them? that’s sort of how sam is with dean in later seasons - he implies multiple times that he would leave the hunting life forever and not look back if it weren’t for dean.

and as a side note - sorry, this is only tangentially related - dean implies several times in later seasons that the job is where he finds his sense of accomplishment and self-esteem and meaning - he believes the world is a better place because of what he and sam do, and even though he doesn’t always like DOING the job, he likes the outcome. it’s weird because this is as close as we see dean get to even HAVING self esteem. sam, emotionally intelligent, would have picked up on that - and since he and dean have both tried to leave the life multiple times and have always come to regret it, i also think part of sam believes you CAN’T escape - certainly SAM could never escape so long as dean was still in it, because whether he meant to or not dean would always pull him back in. and part of dean doesn’t really want to escape because he’s made his peace with it. so sam stays, and i think even if he can’t find the same meaning in the job that dean does, he finds a lot of meaning in being there for dean. (this, like gray rocking, is also consistent with the seasons where sam’s sole character trait is caring about dean lol. but i’m happy enough to read it in a kinder and less bitter/resentful way.)

it IS worth noting i think that the most forgiving sam ever was about john was in the adam episode, where he said he understood why he was the way he was and why he did what he did, and when dean said they were alike sam decided to take it as a compliment. sam in season 4 is arguably at one of his lowest points - struggling with addiction, consumed by anger and hatred and the need for revenge. he WAS like john in many ways, and i think he justified what john was doing because it also justified what HE was doing. but what he was doing led to breaking lucifer out of hell and the apocalypse that followed, which is why i like to think sam worked so hard to reign in his anger afterward - both to avoid his fate and avoid becoming his father.

in short: i don’t think sam has actually forgiven john so much as disengaged from him and moved past it. because if he DID engage with it, it’d bring up a whole lot of stuff he didn’t feel prepared to deal with. one of the risks of gray rocking things is doing it to the point that you lose touch with your own wants and needs and personality, so i think by late seasons sam’s repression, which is much more sneaky and quiet than dean’s, has settled in to the point where he’s like “yeah whatever” about dad out of sheer self preservation - because otherwise, he’d end up going crazy about it like dean does. i think it’d do him a hell of a lot of good to be able to get to shout at john and finally say his piece/ he’s really afraid of his own anger, but i think it’d be healthy for him to get back in touch with some of it.

[spn masterpost]

#liz answers asks #bimbonaparte #sam winchester #john winchester #liz makes stuff #liz's spn stuff #liz's meta #whew this was a long one sorry. #i am so glad you have the same icon on tumblr and ao3 i was replying TO YOUR COMMENT when i got this ask <3 #fun cool coincidences!!!!! #anyway i didn't want to mention my fic but like this is why i had him yell in my fic. it's good for him #for himself and for dean he deserves to feel angry

[storysofmyown]

Because I'm still hung up on the paws and claws event, could you make a headcanon of if the Mc turned into an animal like a week after, and since they're human they go somewhat feral?

Of course my dear!! Since you didn't specify what kind of animal the Mc must be i decided to make them a cat as well, hope that is okay with you!

It had been a couple of days since the brothers finally were able to get out of their animal forms. It had been hard at first to deal with it but in the end all of them were able to get their animal instinct under control up until Luke finally was able to get the syrup that was going to cure them and the boys were finally back to normal, to Lucifer’s relief...but of course that couldn't last.

The seven demons and their human companion were eating lunch, everyone was talking and laughing except from Belphegor who was napping, his head resting in the table as Beel had moved his plate to take care of it. Mammon was arguing with Leviathan about some money he had borrowed from the demon and had yet to return when he turned to Mc to complain.

“Can you believe this?! Its only been like 500 years since i asked to borrow the money, jeez give a demon time to make the money bac-” Mammon stopped amidst his rambling when he noticed the human had stopped eating all of a sudden and had a weird expression on their face. “Yo, whats up with you?” Mammon asked, trying to keep his nonchalant attitude but worry evident in his voice.

“...nothing, i just feel weird.” Mc says, a small voice as they try to get up from their sit, only to groan and grab onto the chair the feeling taking over them.

“Mc?” Beel asks, worry in his voice as he moves to the human sides to make sure they were okay. What Beel wasn't expecting, was for Mc to jump at his touch, hiss and run several steps away from him.

Beel looked at Mc, now more confused than ever, only to see Mc with a tail and cat ears.

“What the-” Mammon tried to say only to be cut off by Asmodeus

“OH MY ME!” Asmo coos, walking over at Mc as he squeals. “You look adorable!” His voice is high pitched as he tries to pet Mc only for them to hiss at him as well, making Asmodeus take his arm back fast and glaring at Mc. “No! Bad kitty! Bad kitty!”

“What happened to them?” Leviathan ask, looking at Lucifer who already looks down with the whole situation.

“It appears they have transformed into some sort of feline.” Satan states, a curious smirk in his lips as he approaches both Asmodeus and Mc.

“No shit Sherlock, i think we can see that!” Mammon glares at the blond before looking back at Lucifer. “So?!”

“It seems like our dear human was affected by the syrup that transformed us all into animals.”

“The one that Luke put in that cake?” Belphegor asks, still from his sit as he watches the situation from afar. Lucifer only hums in return at Belphegors questions before a sigh leaves his lips.

“Wait, but that thing was over a week ago!”

“Why is it affecting them now?” Beel finishes off Mammons question as his eyes fall on the human again, who moved away from the seven demons and was looking at some curtains...for some reason.

“They are human, their body its not going to react the same as a demons body does when exposed to celestial elements. In them the effect took longer to manifest.” Satan says, a hand on his chin as he thinks about it, wondering if this means that the “cure” would also take longer to fight off the effects of the syrup.

“Either way, we should keep an eye on them- MC!” Lucifer yells, once out of the corner of his eye he sees them jump and with their long claws start sharpening them on the curtains. “Stop that now!” Lucifer moves close to Mc, only for the human to notice them and hiss at him just like they had done with Beel and Asmodeus.

“They just hissed at Lucifer!” Leviathan gasps, his eyes jumping from the human to his older brother.

“yes, i am well aware of that” Lucifer glares at Mc, making the human-cat to hiss again, before running off.

“Oi! Were do ya think you are going?!” Mammon screams, running behind Mc as he tries to catch up to them. 

The rest of the brothers look between each other before hearing a hiss once again followed by Mammon yelping and then groaning in pain.

“What the hell was that?!” Asomodeus screams at Mammon.

“They fucking scratched me, that’s what it was!” Mammon comes back in, a scratch its visible in his cheek as he held it.

“Lool!”

“Stop laughing you damn otaku”

“Im just glad that didn't happen to me! Imagine if my beautiful face got a single scratch on it! I would die.

“No, you wouldn't” Belphegor yawns. “Who is going to go after them?”

“...they hissed at me” Beel looks sad for a moment.

“Naturally, they felt threatened for a moment and reacted accordingly.” Satan explained rapidly.

“Oi! Who do ya think you are? A cat whisperer or something like that?” Before Satan can respond, there can be heard a vase falling from upstairs, making Lucifer groan.

“Someone needs to get them under control before they destroy the whole house”

“I have an idea!” Asmodeus cheers.

“...”

Several minutes later

“This is a terrible idea” Lucifer rubs his head as he looks at Asmodeus, who was a expensive bottle of perfume in his hands, as the seven stand in front of the door, watching Mc who was sharpening their claws on the bed.

“It will work! Mc simply cannot resist to my fragrance” Asmo smirks, entering the room and approaching mc slowly. 

“This is going to end badly” Beel looks at Mc who is already aware of Asmodeus presence.

“I know...i cant wait” Levi has his phone out, already recording the whole thing.

“...send me that video, we can make so much money with” Mammon smirks, just in time for Mc to try and attack Asmodeus, the bottle of perfume shattering in the ground as Asmodeus yelps and runs away from the angry Mc.

“Lucifer! Mc is a meany” Asmodeus cries as he hugs Lucifer, making the oldest demon sigh.

“...any other ideas?”

And so, the others tried to gain cat Mc’s trust one by one. Beel tried to approach them with some food...which he end up eating making Mc dejected, Belphie tried to make them go to sleep by giving them his pillow...the worsts decision he would have taken, the pillow was now destroyed and Belphie had a permanent scowl painted in his features. Leviathan was able to get kind of close but his phone went off, making Mc jump, hiss and bite him. (Which Mammon secretly got on tape). talking about Mammon, he tried to give Mc some catnip against Satans advice, which only made the human become even more energetic and ran trough all of the possible surfaces in the room, knocking everything over.Finally, Satan pushed trough and sat in front of the Mc, who only looked at him.

“What are you doing?” Asmodeus asked.

“Shut up” Satan said, only to proceed and take out his D.D.D and start playing with it, everyone looked on curiously, wondering what Satan was doing, until Mc started to scoot closer. After mc was at a close proximity, Satan lifted his hand slowly and brought it to them, Mc looked curiously before start to rub their head against Satans hand, who proceeded to pet them.

“How?!” Mammon complained as he glared at Satan.

“Cats are naturally curious creatures” Satan said, as if that explained every and all questions his brothers had.

“I don’t care about the logic behind all this, just give them the damn cure and someone please clean up the room” Lucifer groaned, before leaving and going to his room to try and relax finally...if you call relaxing the three mountains of paperwork that awaited him.

Satan proceeding to do so, and his theory proved to be right, for the “cure” took another week to work on Mc, making the demons desperate as they just wanted to pet the human-cat but at some point they ended up just getting scratched. At the end, Mc owed Lucifer more than5,000 grimm worth of damages their claws had done during that sole week.

I really hope this was what you were expecting and that you liked it! Thank you so much for sending me this ask, it was so much fun! ^w^

#obey me! #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me levi #obey me mc

[maddie-grove]

Little Book Review: Sin Eater

Author: Megan Campisi.

Publication Date: 2020.

Genre: Alternate historical fiction (?).

Premise: Strap in, y'all, because this is complicated. May Owens, an orphaned teen laundress in Fake Elizabethan London, is arrested for stealing a loaf of bread. Expecting to be hanged, she's instead sentenced to be a Sin Eater for life. This means hearing confessions from the dying and then eating foods that symbolize their sins off their coffins. There are various other unpleasant requirements--speaking to no one except when hearing confessions, being forced to wear a non-removable collar, getting one's tongue tattooed, social ostracism, eternal damnation if one doesn't do everything right--but it does come with free room and board. Then the Sin Eater who's supposed to be mentoring May gets tortured to death. Why? A deer heart (symbolizing the murder of royalty) appeared on the coffin of a deceased lady-in-waiting, and the mentor wouldn't eat it because the lady-in-waiting had confessed to no such thing. Can May figure out what the hell is going on, adjust to her weird new life, and address a bunch of lingering childhood trauma?

Thoughts: Sin-eating, as depicted in this novel, never existed in Britain. Campisi was inspired to write this novel by a real-world tradition that started in and near Wales as early as the seventeenth century, but died out completely by the 1920s. Accounts vary as to how socially stigmatizing it was to be a sin eater; at best, they were poor, disreputable people doing a low-status job, and, at worst, they were feared and despised as people who had traded away their immortal souls and possibly consorted with demons. However, it was definitely not an island-wide, state-sanctioned role that people were officially sentenced to; it didn't require body modification, nor was it solely assigned to women.

In short, Campisi has created a fictional tradition that technically could have existed in Elizabethan London (as it doesn't involve magic or technology that didn't exist at the time), but demonstrably did not. This puts her in an interesting position that most historical fiction and fantasy writers don't find themselves in, because she has the following options:

Write a straightforward historical novel that just happens to have this one weird, fictional thing going on, with no further explanation. This would probably be the easiest option, but she either has to put an awkward author's note at the beginning or run the risk of readers thinking she knows jack shit about Elizabethan London.

Write an alternate history novel in which she explains how her version of sin-eating came to be in Elizabethan London. (Off the top of my head: Welsh people brought the tradition to London and other parts of England after migrating, but it only caught on in a big way as a response to the Black Death, during which time it developed distinctly English characteristics. The pious Henry VI was the first monarch to officially recognize it; however, the crueler official requirements didn't come about until the reign of Henry VIII, for reasons similar to the passing of the Tudor Poor Laws. Edward VI tried to ban it, but Mary I brought it back with a vengeance. Now it's allowed, but only because Elizabeth I branded it as an Anglican thing.) I think this makes for an interesting setting, but it is a lot of work for a story that's really just about one regular girl and some Tudor drama.

Write a story that takes place in a world that's similar in some ways to Elizabethan England (geography, level of technology, etc.), yet is substantially different. Maybe there's a young reigning queen, but she's not the often-disfavored daughter of a king with six wives; instead, maybe she had seven brothers who all died untimely deaths. Maybe the country's been torn apart by decades of religious conflict, but sin-eating is at the heart of the conflict instead of Fake Catholicism vs. Fake Protestantism. This might actually be the most organic way to handle things, but it does put the book in a weird place, genre-wise; people who want to read straight-up historical fiction won't be into it, and people who want to read fantasy might be put off by the lack of magic.

Any of these are better options than what Campisi chose, which is an unholy union between #1 and #3. Sin Eater is set in a world that's almost identical to Elizabethan London, except that (a) Campisi's version of sin-eating exists and (b) everybody has slightly different names. Instead of Queen Elizabeth, we have Queen Bethany, the daughter of King Harold II and his second wife Alys Bollings. She had an older sister named Maris, daughter of Harold II's first wife Constanza of Castile, who was a Eucharist. Harold II's third wife was named Jennette Cheney, whom you might think had a son named Edwin or whatever, but no, she had no children. What. You might also think that Jennette had a brother named Titus Cheney, who married Harold II's sixth wife and widow Katryna Park or whatever, but also no. He was named Titus Seymaur (no relation?) and he was married to Katryna...Parr. Confused yet? Because God is always called the Maker, and clergy are always Maker-men who preach sermons in Maker-halls, but Judas is still Judas and Eve is still Eve. Also, Roma people are called "eg*psies" (honestly, if you're going to make up a stupid word, at least use the opportunity to make it not a slur); it's something of a relief that the Jewish characters are just Jews. Oh, and the whole thing takes place in Angland.

This is some of the most irritating, distracting world-building I've ever encountered. It doesn't help that the only reason for the fake Tudor drama is a rather tired, mean-spirited mystery involving Queen Elizabeth/Bethany's secret baby and Katryna/Katherine Parr's long-lost daughter. And it's a shame, because when the story focuses on May--a lonely, angry, scared girl struggling to do the right thing and make a place for herself in the world--it's emotionally compelling. Her mixed feelings towards the fellow outcasts who start squatting in her home are particularly well-done, as are her encounters with religious outsiders. The mechanics of sin-eating are also fascinating; I liked seeing May visit dying people of various ages and stations in life. I think a person without my exact pet peeves would enjoy this novel a lot more, but it still wouldn't be great.

Hot Goodreads Take: There are many criticisms of this novel that I agree with, such as bad world-building, a weak mystery, a sophomoric understanding of religion, and gratuitous unpleasantness. (I love the dark, I love slippery things, but there was no reason for the tongue tattoo except to drive home that this whole thing sucks for May. I did not need to be further convinced!) There are also criticisms that I get, even if I don't feel the same way; for instance, I like the weird, bitter heroine, but I understand that she's not for everyone. On the other hand, one reviewer states, "I also didn’t care or need to know about the author’s childcare arrangements that she acknowledges at the end of her book." Like...cool, reviewer, but I don't think you understand the point of acknowledgments. They're to thank people. Are you going to complain that you "don't care that the book was manufactured in America, as the copyright page says"?

#little book review #sin eater #megan campisi #antiziganism #mutilation

[jellysharkbat]

I’m going to preface this with: I’m not a fan of call-out posts. I’m going to post on one topic in this post, and another topic in a different post. I put up a read more so you don’t all get slammed by a all of text. Because I like to think I’m polite like that. ;)

Adding a second preface: I’m probably going to reblog or like stuff from people you may not personally agree with. I’m liking and reblogging because I like the work, not because I’m in love with the creator. People still like John Lennon’s music and he beat women.

Anyways, here goes for anyone who wants to read.

Okay, as much as I hate confrontation and do my best to avoid it, I can’t let this one lay. It’s just unfair all so many levels. I’m going to focus on Cullen, since he’s one of my favorites, and I don’t know the other characters mentioned (and those not mentioned) as well.

My, like many others, blog is nsfw. It’s 18+. I’m going to assume that anyone who follows me is an adult. And I’m going to pretend that anyone who isn’t, doesn’t. I am going to post things that are violent in nature and- here’s the one everyone’s super focused on- sex. Because I’m an adult. If I want to read about sex, I will. If I want to write about sex, I will. Because I’m an adult. And there is nothing wrong with sex.

There have been some names named and shamed for portraying characters as “hypersexualized”.

I have one answer to that: so what?

It’s no big deal if Cullen is portrayed as virginal or a sex god. He is not real. I’m going to repeat that: Cullen Rutherford is fake. He is fictional. He does not exist. He, like everyone else, is a character from a video game. We love him, but he is not real. He doesn’t have thoughts of his own, he doesn’t have feelings, he doesn’t have a life. He is a work of fiction created by Bioware.

I’m going to say this one more time: Characters from Dragon Age are not real. Stop acting like they are real people.

The great thing about fandoms is that we can take a character we like, and do whatever we want with them. If we want to fix inconsistencies that the creators didn’t, we can. If we want to fill in the gaps about their lives, we can do that. If we want to pluck them out of their canonical universe and put them in a new one, we can do that. If we want to rewrite stuff about them, we can do that. We own that creativity.

One of the biggest reasons for this “outcry” is that Cullen Rutherford was sexually assaulted and/or raped.

As far as I am aware, there is no canonical evidence to support this claim. Please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

His sexual trauma is something we assumed happened. We imagine that a character from a video game was treated horribly. Is it likely that this happened? Sure. I think we can all agree that it’s probable that the desire demon did more than mess with his mind. The implication is there. But we can’t confirm it. We can’t look at something and point to it as hard-based evidence. Because there is none.

We made it up.

Just like Scout Jim, we created that trauma. We want that trauma to exist.

We created it, and we can take it away.

I’m also going to say this: even if canon supported our theory, it wouldn’t matter. As fanfic writers and artists, we can change whatever we want. We can portray Cullen Rutherford’s personality, and other characters, however we want. Because he’s not real.

But the sexual assault! What about that? 

You mean the sexual assault that never happened in real life? Because he’s not a real person? It doesn’t matter.

Should we approach the subject of sexual assault with respect to those who survived it? Yes. Because that is a real, traumatic experience a real individual went through. And their experience in such an attack should be handled according to that person’s wishes.

Does that mean the moment a work of fiction which may or may not involve it, it needs to be treated like glass? No. Because it didn’t happen in real life. And since it’s a work of fiction, we as creators don’t always need to pay attention to it or make it true for every single universe that includes Cullen Rutherford.

Some people might want to portray it as real as possible, others might want to eliminate it completely. There’s nothing wrong with either choice.

I’m going to assume that a most people have never experience sexual assault and/or rape. Have some people been harassed? Unfortunately, yes. But it is not true of the vast majority of us, and harassment (while a violation in its own right) is not the same as someone physically putting their hands on you. Most of us have no idea what it is like to be assaulted or raped. None. Nothing we imagine will ever compare to the real thing. We don’t know what it’s like, and therefore we will never portray it accurately. And quite frankly, I can’t imagine anyone who would want to know. I’m happy to keep the bad portrayals because it means no actual crime happened.

Even if we did know, real people react differently. Rape survivors do not all behave one way. They do not act one way, all the time. How they respond to anything will depend on their situation, their experience, their current circumstance, their comfort. You can stick two people in a room, have those people be raped in the same exact manner, and put them in a new situation which may or may not force them to think about what happened to them. And they’ll respond differently. Because they are different people. Sometimes they want no sex, sometimes they want all the sex. And that changes day to day, like it does for many people.

To tell them that they can never act any other way is an insult to them and what they survived. You should be ashamed of implying or outright stating that. How dare you slap them in the face.

That, however, is a real person. As I said, Cullen is not real. He is written and portrayed again and again by many different people. He is always going to be different from one portrayal to the next compared to his canonical, in-game self. Are there extremes? Sure. But I dare you to show me a fandom where there aren’t extremes. And in the end, it doesn’t matter if those extremes exist.

No one is actually being hurt (unless you’re a sick mofo and like writing your irl crimes…). It’s fiction. Fake. Not. Real.

If I want to write something about Cullen being violently raped, I can. If I want to pretend he was never abused in any way, I can. If I want to imagine him being sexually crazed, I can. If I want to rip off an arm and make him a eunuch, I can.

 Because it’s all fake.

The beauty of fiction is that we created ways so people aren’t surprised by stuff they may not want to see. We created filters. We created blacklists. We created tags. Did we have to? No. You don’t go to a library or a bookstore and expect to see tags or filters, do you? Because those things don’t exist for books. You would just pick up a book and accept whatever is written inside. We didn’t have to do that. But we did. Because we want people to be comfortable, and have fun.

If you don’t like the way someone is portraying how you think- ah. That bit is important. I’m going to repeat myself again: If you don’t like the way someone is portraying how you think they should, that is on you. You have the expectation of something. It is no one’s responsibility but your own to cater to that expectation.

People aren’t creating works involving characters like Cullen solely for your, individual pleasure. How arrogant for you to think so.We are creating many versions of a fictional person in hopes that someone else might like that version and will share their own. We should not go around pretending that only one version is the True Correct Version.

That’s the kind of shit religions do. They love purity crusades.And that’s exactly what this seems to be to me. It’s not outrage because of how people portray a fictional character, it’s an outrage because some people don’t want to admit that they have a problem with other people freely enjoying sex.

You don’t own any of Bioware’s characters. You alone do not have the final say on what happens to a character outside of canonical information, or how that character should behave 100% of the time. And you have no right to harass people because they don’t have the same Vision you do.

If something like sexual assault was truly triggering for you, and not just something offensive to your delicate sensibilities, I’m going to say you probably wouldn’t search for it. You’d find ways to filter it out. And you would accept that if something does slip through, it’s no one’s fault. People can write or draw characters in whatever situation they want. You need to acknowledge that sometimes there will be something that you won’t like and if you still see it, because no one is obligated to do anything for you.

But we will, and we try. Because in general, the majority of us care. We want to have fun. We can adjust some things if asked. Nicely. Because a lot of us realize that not everyone is going to like the same thing. People are different and will have different tastes.

One more, final point: What someone writes or draws is not indicative of who they are as a person. I write and think about a lot of stuff. I’m a curious person. I want to be able to imagine what would happen in whatever scenario I create, good or bad. I have favorite characters. Because I like those characters, I like sticking them in the scenarios I create because I want to know how they would react. It doesn’t matter if it’s something soft and sweet or a rape roleplay. What that is has nothing to do with who I am. That goes for everyone else.

So let me tell you a little something about myself, since you have no other way of knowing if I don’t specifically tell you:

I am shy. I am quiet. I don’t like picking fights. I don’t speak eloquently. I am a pushover.

And sometimes- a lot of the time- I want my favorite fictional character Cullen Rutherford to act out a “hypersexualized” fantasy of mine.

#ngl #a little bit interested to see if I'll get a reasonable #actual adult answer to this #and not teenage hysteria #If you think differently #please tell me why #I like hearing other people's opinions #seriously #cullen rutherford #dragon age #you do realize that if you don't like something #you can ask for it to be tagged so you can blacklist it right? #this is very much a grow up and deal with it thing

[drops-of-moonlights]

What are your issues with S3 of Winx Club?

Okay, so. I am going to get long and ranty and annoyed overall on this post. I shouldn’t even have to preface this, half of the people that follow me have critical thinking skills I hope, but you can have whatever opinion on S3 and all the things I’m gonna touch on this post, I do not care and you should not either, live your life however the fuck you want yadda yadda yadda. Now:

The first thing that comes to mind is the pacing, and just how fucking terrible it is. Every single event takes so long and its so slow for the first 18-or-so episodes (a lot of situations really did not require two episodes), only to be suddenly kicked into high gear and have 7 different “final” battles one after another. It felt like it was just happening to end the season already and so they could keep working on SOTLK, and like I get you’re working on both and all but you COULD have afforded to at least PRETEND you gave a shit, Rainbow.

Next topic is Valtor, who is my absolute least favorite villain in the series, and yes, I am including the S5-S7 villains on this. This is where it’s not much a fault of the character itself (well. not ENTIRELY a fault of the character), but a fault of both the narrative and (and for this I am petty) the fanbase. Valtor, to me, is the most generic villain in the franchise, a different flavor than Darkar but by no means less bland - Valtor is your standard “hot” prettyboy villain who tries to charm the protagonist to his side with the empty promise of answers, and THAT COULD HAVE BEEN INTERESTING... if the show ever bothered to do anything with it other than Valtor creeping on a senior highschool student for 26 episodes. Because it’s all a farce, there’s not an actual connection between them outside of Valtor feeding her lies about her retconned parent’s backstory (we’ll talk about this more later) and both of them having God’s power inside them. My second point on Valtor is that he singlehandedly ruined the Trix’s characterization to simply be your standard evil henchwomen that thirst after Valtor’s dick because truly they all have terrible taste in men, and nothing else, and it’s annoying as all fuck, ESPECIALLY when you compare the Trix as Darkar’s lackeys a season earlier, where they stayed mostly the same personality-wise and only allied with the Phoenix out of necessity and survival. And the worst part? Valtor doesn’t do shit in the season! Like, at all! He only ever gets Chimera, Cassandra and Diaspro on his side, blinds Aisha and that’s literally it as far as confrontations with the Winx go - outside of fighting them when they get the Water Stars and the three last battles, he spends most of the show’s time fucking around random planets getting weird magic and sitting broodily on a chair, and apparently this makes him a good villain???? Okay, sure.

And since I mentioned them, let’s get on the Water Stars for a bit, and while yes, this is the one part everyone agrees on that was weak as fuck, it still brings attention because WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. All this time there was this antithetical force to the Dragon’s Flame, super-mega-ultra powerful little thingies that could douse the Flame’s power almost permanently, AND YOU ONLY BRING THEM TO ATTENTION NOW AGAINST VAMPIRE AESTHETIC. Do you have any idea how fucking useful they could have been against the Trix in S1???? If they had gotten the little squishy motherfuckers two seasons earlier the War of Magix would have been over quicker. And it’s not like Bloom would have been in much risk, she barely had any Flame left in her.

In a similar situation, we have Enchantix, which is my second most-hated form after Tynix for similar reasons. One, where in the fuck were all the Enchantix fairies during S1? Fairy Dust is supposed to be this OP magic, and could have also been very useful against the Army of Decay. Two, the way to earn Enchantix, for what is retroactively just the final base fairy form, is far too obtuse and complicated for the average fairy, not to mention incredibly limiting - you just have to hope someone from your realm is in a dangerous situation so you can fling yourself into danger and probably die, and all you get for it are some opera gloves and a pair of barefoot sandals. Like sure a super powerful magic upgrade also happens but still, it’s such a specific situation to find yourself in that it’s no wonder no one ever graduates Alfea, it’s literally borderline impossible unless you like traveling. My last point on the transformation, and this one is a bit YMMV, 3 of the 6 Winx did not actually earn Enchantix. Bloom counts for this, but it’s an actual plot point (though it was terribly handled) so I let it slide most of the time, but Musa and Tecna? Musa didn’t even get to sacrifice anything, she just suddenly got the form and that’s it, GALATEA was doing more of a sacrifice to let everyone leave the burning library without her than Musa was. Tecna also got Enchantix without saving anyone from Zenith, and before you even type it out, no, it was never said Tecna saved the entire universe by closing the Omega Portal. None of the three English dubs nor the original Italian ever say this. That’s entirely just fanon. I have headcanonned it away as “some of the prisoners were Zenithian” to justify it for myself, but overall it was very obviously just shoehorned in because as always, the writers don’t know what to do with Tecna.

“But Drops! What about Nabu???” I can already hear you type, and no, I do not like Nabu. I don’t hate him either, outside of the fact I reject the idea of Aisha being into men in any way, shape or form, but he is very much worshipped as the Golden Child in the fandom and I’m tired of it. You can see a better description on my feelings about Nabu (as well as how the fandom loves to demonize Sky for the shit he pulled in S1 but hold nothing against either Brandon or Nabu, who pulled the same shit) here.

There *is* a part of S3 I like, that being the Solaria Usurpation arc, but it’s the one sole thing that I legitimately enjoy in the season and I’m not gonna stick around the fuckton of episodes that interrupt the arc just for that.

But what I hate the most about S3, above all this, is how goddamn irrelevant it is. Outside of getting the Winx Enchantix, NOTHING about the season is remotely relevant lore-wise or plot-wise, and the show itself acknowledges this! Even SOTLK pretends S3 never happened and the girls just got Enchantix somehow! Because of the drive Rainbow had to end the franchise’s original arc with fancy shitty CGI, they ended up making the original last season of the show, what was supposed to be the best thing before the movie, into the biggest waste of time instead. You can really just watch the episodes each girl gets Enchantix and then the final episode and you wouldn’t miss anything at all.

So the TL;DR for all this is “I hate S3 because Valtor sucks, Enchantix sucks, the pacing is garbage and there’s really nothing nice in it outside of like 3 episodes”, and I refuse to rewatch it ever again.

#Drops's rants and ramblings #Drops screams into the abyss for Winx #Winx Club

[distressed-bird]

Screw doing introductions, I am getting straight into the anxieties and theories because that is the sole purpose of this blog for now-

Dreamon Brainrot is real-

While it’s all amazing and great that c!Tommy is free of c!Dream now and we all agree c!Dream is a green bastard man... it does not leave my head after reading several Tumblr posts the fact that perhaps...

c!Dream isn’t actually c!Dream and is possessed by a Dreamon at the moment-

Dreamons are canon things in the world of the SMP and are ancient and evil bastards; Dream even probably has some Dreamons of his own within him always since he’s Dream- “But we already know what Dreamons are, and we also know that c!Tommy and c!Fundy did a failed exorcism on c!Dream! Why are you telling us this?”

BECAUSE WE NEED TO ESTABLISH THIS. Dreamons are actual bastards and horrid, Dream wasn’t.

(Background, I am on a quest to watch all the DSMP from the START- so I am seeing a lot of pre-modern SMP stuff and while the canonicity of a LOT of the things I am seeing is debatable, the characters have stayed fairly similar in their own ways. There’s building blocks here.)

And as much of a good villain as c!Dream is... consider some of these strange details I have acrued during my travels in Tumblr and Forest.

The prison—Pandora’s Prison—as it’s called... was built for c!Dream. It was built to CONTAIN C!DREAM. Sam confirms it in the latest stream; Hell, c!Dream kept himself OUT of the construction of the security measures for the prison. Why? In order to not know how to escape it...

Pandora’s Prison was built to keep c!Dream IN and he took lengths to make sure it would.

And consider the Punz Betrayal...

At some point in one of L’Manberg’s wars... c!Dream told Punz he need him to betray him at some point. Not when, just that he needed Punz to backstab him and that he’d KNOW when to do it. Either way... it was always planned that Punz would eventually betray c!Dream.

And c!Dream himself tells Punz that he is going to do “something bad” that will “put him away for a long time”.

All of this shows that for 1: c!Dream is infuriatingly self aware. Self Aware enough to predict himself.

Which raises concern 2. If c!Dream is so self aware and knows he’ll do awful shit in the future awful enough that he’ll be basically felled from grace... then why doesn’t he stop himself?

I mentioned earlier. c!Fundy and c!Tommy did a failed exorcism.

What was the outcome? They took out more of DREAM and left inside the DREAMON parts of c!Dream. It was after that stream that things start taking a turn... it was afterwards that c!Dream went to Sam and commissioned the prison be built.

So consider...

What if... c!Dream is no longer in control?

And that the reason for his recent demonic behavior is because he’s not himself anymore? And that the reason Tommy has gotten so much of the brunt of c!Dream’s cruelty... is a warped show of affection from the Dreamon within its vessel to the reason it even was able to grow so powerful and prominent within its host to begin with. A host that is basically a god with an unknown amount of canon lives (we assume it’s three, but it’s not confirmed as far as I’ve seen).

And c!Dream had the foresight to create something to contain himself. Something Sam is aware of, because it was Sam that suggested to put the bastard into the prison to begin with instead of just letting others suggest to c!Tommy to kill him.

TLDR; c!Dream is possessed by a Dreamon, and c!Dream knew shit would go south post-Failed Dreamon Excorcism so he took measures to make sure things would be solved before he completely lost control of his own autonomy and thought process.

That is all, thank you for coming to my TEDtalk- I swear I am happy c!Tommy is free and happy now, I just tend to focus more on villains and... c!Dream is a very interesting one because he wasn’t always a villain... he just lived long enough to become one.

#long post #dream smp #aurie rambles #dreamon #theory #speculation #dsmp tommy #possession #dsmp #mcytblr #imagine having coherent thoughts free of worry and anxiety #i am probably talking about the blood vines are next #i swear i love tommy- but the bigger picture... dream kept the red plant bastards at bay- #his merely being there hindered their growth and what if his plans to kidnap Skeppy weren’t as nefarious as we thought? #we are blinded by the fact we can see everyone else’s pov BUT dream’s #ergo we don’t think twice about thinking he is evil or that he as ulterior motive- no pov means we don’t get a look into his inner thoughts #we get no sympathy for him unless we aim to look closer #bad is an immortal demon being now possessed by an alien plant #and the only weakness DREAM was able to find in the young eggpire’s armor was skeppy- the one thing bad cares about most in the world that #overrides his possession... #dream may be a villain and did awful stuff to tommy... but he is also a complicated and layered villain with probable priorities #the problems won’t end even after dream gets locked up and we know it #talking in the tags #don’t expect frequent content- i will mostly do theories until I decide to post some writing or art or something... probably more theories #does this count as lore? hell if i know

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Ashes”

After The Joker’s daughter accidentally drowned, his relationship with Y/N fell apart: they were guilty of failing to protect what they loved, blaming each other and themselves to the point of no return. The sole palpable proof of Emma existence is her ashes encapsulated in glass pendants her parents wear and that’s hardly a memento able to help in such a difficult situation. Ashes are not meant to bring people together.

“Happy Birthday, Pumpkin Pie,” The Joker grumbles. “Here’s Charlie: I thought you would like to see him,” he places the purple hippo on Emma’s headstone.

Today his daughter would have been 4 years old. Instead of the usual party filled with laughter and presents he’s at “Eternal Peace” cemetery early in the morning for a different kind of festivity.

J never celebrated birthdays before yet once she showed up in his life the anniversary got a fresh new meaning: Y/N ensured that The King of Gotham was aware of how lucky they both were to have her. And he did learn to care about that tiny being he created who first called him something similar to “dada”, then a cute “da’y” and finally the word he craved to hear every single day until she was gone: “daddy.”

Being a father thought him a couple of things, but the most important was quite stunning: the index finger from his right hand wasn’t only meant for using a trigger; it was also his child’s soother.

Emma would keep it prisoner when she slept from an early age; of course all babies do it although in this case it didn’t go away once she got older.

And he misses that…

A lot.

Actually, he would give up on a robbery or anything that involves him holding a gun if she could clutch to his finger one more time.

That’s how much he misses The Princess.

“Sir, sorry to interrupt,” Frost gets him out of trance. “There’s movement at the South gate. We have to go…”

J snatches the plush animal and follows Jonny on a path behind the crypts when a woman walking on the alley leading to Emma’s grave catches his attention: although she has a red wig and sunglasses on, her disguise doesn’t fool him. It’s Y/N.

She’s carrying a small cake and intensely stares at the pavement, unaware of her surroundings.

The Joker can’t really tell what she’s doing once in front of the tomb, nevertheless he guesses she’s singing “Happy Birthday” while wiping the tears strolling down her cheeks.

He didn’t see Y/N in about 4 months. They went to the cabin by Moon Lake after Emma’s drowning and things were so rough he left immediately. She never followed, called or texted.

J didn’t either.

Why bother? They were guilty of failing to protect what they loved, blaming each other and themselves to the point of no return.

Today is extremely difficult to deal with, especially since the catalyst binding them vanished forever.

The sole palpable proof of Emma existence is her ashes encapsulated in glass pendants her parents wear and that’s hardly a memento able to help in such a difficult situation.

Ashes are not meant to bring people together.

***************

After 2 Hours

“Hi,” The King of Gotham drags his feet on the porch and takes a sit on the chair next to yours.

“Hi…” you whisper, surprised to spot him after such a long absence.

Complete silence, then he utters:

“I’m here for the cake,” he points at the sweet treat resting on the wood table: vanilla- strawberry combo, your daughter’s favorite.

“Are you?”

“Yeah, I crave the taste…”

You lean over and cut two slices, sharing Emma’s birthday cake with her dad. It’s really painful to swallow the morsels knowing your baby can’t; it seems J is in the same boat.

“I can’t make anybody happy…” The Clown mumbles under his breath and the randomness of his statement makes you wonder what’s going on in his mind.

“Me neither… Sweet Pea was happy, wasn’t she? She was a happy kid…”

The Joker moves his plate towards you, hissing:

“She was and she would still be with us if instead of flirting you would have watched her!”  

“… … W- what?!...” you glare at him, astonished he has the nerve to pop up and hurt you in such a manner. “Since when talking to somebody is flirting?! Where were you, huh? Where were you??? In your goddamn office plotting more schemes in order to get more money because nothing is enough!” you raise your voice and burst out crying in the next second. “She was ours to protect, the only treasure that mattered! I just… I just took my eyes off her for a few moments, I had no idea my baby was drowning in that pool …” you keep sobbing at the horrible memory, heartbroken. “I could have save her…Why didn’t I…?…”

The Joker can’t understand what you’re saying anymore, yet he doesn’t reply to your accusations or remorseful confessions.

How could he?

He’s equally responsible for Emma’s demise but it’s easier to attack her mother.

You abruptly get up and rush inside the cottage, abandoning J to his own demons. He doesn’t know if he should bail or stay, thus he continues to gaze at the lake numb to everything.

Still… The quietness is becoming unbearable so he finally gathers the strength to stand up and search for you.

“Y/N?...” he shouts. “Where are you?”

Silly question since the cabin is a little area with a kitchen/living room combo, one bedroom and bathroom: easy to find what you’re looking for.

No response but the shower is on which queues him Y/N must be there.

The Joker approaches the bathtub, unwilling to remove the curtain and talk to you face to face.

“It was my fault too…” he admits a fact that tormented him since the accident. “I should have kept an eye on her… I couldn’t predict she’ll sneak out to play by the swimming pool… I would give away a fortune if I could fix it… Do you believe me?...”

You sniffle and cover your mouth, trying to avoid his trap: if you engage, he will probably bite more and that’s the last thing you need.

“I have Charlie in the car; I thought you might want him tonight,” J reveals the true purpose of his visit. “Drop him off tomorrow at 3pm, I’ll be at the warehouse on 17Th Street. You can’t have the toy, it belongs in her room…”

You hear his steps receding and gasp for air, completely crushed by despair: the agony of grief is stronger than any consolation a stupid purple hippo could offer.

But it was Emma’s favorite and The Joker is willing to share a token of what you both lost; now that you think about it… you really missed Charlie…

**************

Next Day, 2:05pm

“Where’s everybody?” you mutter whilst entering the code at the gates. Usually there are at least 8 henchmen guarding the fence and no sign of them so far. You drive up the unpaved alley, curiously checking out the landscape: same trees, bushes and trucks you’re familiar with, except you can’t discern a single goon patrolling the perimeter.

You honk to get the crew’s assistance without any success and you wonder if The Joker tricked you; I mean, you should have seen it coming: he is probably attempting one of his convoluted strategies to punish you for the tragic past.

You stop in front of the building, intrigued to notice it appears deserted.

Suddenly, a powerful blast shakes the ground and you watch part of the roof collapsing on the north side; a few windows shatter also.

You jump out of the car, totally confused at the strange occurrence.

“Hello?” you yell. “J???”

There’s smoke coming out of the opened metal door and you hesitantly walk in the warehouse, coughing at the suffocating odor.

“J?...” you scream. “J!!!!!”

A faint knock in the distance prompts your attention.

“Y/N!!”

“J??” you run towards the source of the noise only to find him under rubble next to the south entrance. “Oh my God!” you kneel by his feet buried under bricks. “What happened?!” The Queen frantically removes debris as he groans in pain.

“Explosives, that’s what happened. Shit, I think I fucked up my legs!”

“Where are the guys??!!” you inquire, managing to free his feet enough for him to move.

“I gave them the day off,” The Joker’s explanation puzzles Y/N. “Hurry up, please!! Another detonation will follow shortly!”

“Jesus Christ!” you quicken the pace and push the last bricks out of the way. “Can you stand?”

J rolls on his side, unable to comply.

“No, you’ll have to haul me out of here!”

“Come on!” you place your hands under his underarms and start pulling. “The exit is right there!”

You huff while straining to get to safety as The Clown aims to aid by lifting his body off the ground as much as he can.

“Behind the truck!” he urges once you’re out of the premises and you barely have time to hide behind the vehicle when a second bang levels half of the construction.

“This didn’t go according to plan,” J admits in a low tone, panting a storm after the ordeal.

You asses his wounds, pressing on the ankle and he immediately growls.

“The bone’s fractured,” you wipe your sweaty forehead.  “What plan?”

“It’s actually your fault for all of this; I told you to swing by at 3 o’clock. You’re early!”

“Huh?”

“You were supposed to come when I told you then boom! Before you reached the building it would go up in flames: you would flip thinking that I’m dead and then I’ll show up and ask you to come back home. You would be so excited to see I’m alive you couldn’t refuse. Yet you ruined everything: you appeared out of nowhere, I panicked and messed up: you know I’m not good with this stuff!!”

You can’t even process the plot he’s throwing your way.

“What kind of plan…”

“I just told you I’m not good at this stuff,” he interrupts. “You know I’m not.”

You touch your chest, baffled at the ridiculous story.

“My pendant!” you exclaim when you realize the chain is not around your neck anymore. “It’s gone!” Y/N desperately searches the grass. “My baby, where’s my baby?” you part the green lawn on the verge of crying. “I can’t find my pendant! Maybe I dropped it the building,” you whimper and prepare to flee when J grabs your jeans, firmly holding on.

“Don’t go; the poles might cave in and whatever is left standing will squash you!!”

You don’t comprehend why he’s so worked up and his plea catches you off guard:

“Don’t go! I’ll give you half my ashes, ok?”

The Queen debates on The King’s proposal, conflicted by his candid offer.

After all, if ashes tear people apart, how come they can’t bring them back together?

Also read: MASTERLIST

https://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

You can also follow me on Ao3 and wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

#the joker x reader #the joker fanfiction #the joker imagine #the joker jared leto #jokerleto #the joker #joker #joker fanfiction #the joker suicide squad #joker suicide squad #joker imagine #mister j #mister joker #dc #dcu

[aforrestofstuff]

What's the heroes' morning routine to start their day before going to work? Or their night routine before they're going to sleep? (And here is sprinkle of positivity vibes for you today: 😊😉👌💕💞💗💓💝💝💖💖🌟✨🍀🍀🍀🍀💐💐 Have a nice day! ❤)

Thanks for the request, anon! ❤️❤️ sorry this took me so long to get to, hope you’re still around!

Tornado of Terror: I’ve said in a previous hc that she sleep-levitates and wakes up in the weirdest places. So, she’d probably spend 10 straight minutes prying herself out of her bathtub or some shit with hella cramps. After that, she’d spam Fubuki over text message, asking her how to make a cup of coffee for the 57th time, then manage to burn it anyway, and finally go to work salty as fuck.

Silverfang: Wakes up at the crack of dawn, mediates next to a waterfall or some shit, broods over Garou, and makes himself a nice breakfast with a cup of tea. After that, he drags Charanko’s ass up the mountain to do some training, meditate some more, drink more tea, and around then it’s gonna be like 9 AM, so he’d probably just go the fuck back to sleep for a quick nap before actually going to work. Look, he’s old. Let him vibe.

Atomic Samurai: Also wakes the fuck up at the crack of dawn and proceeds to freeload a breakfast off of Iaian, wash it down with some alcohol at 6 in the AM, and complain about the weather. Then, he’d probably run over some sorta training routine with his disciples before doing group meditation and finally, finish it off with another drink. His tolerance is so damn high at this point. He shows up to work while pretending he wasn’t ten seconds away from getting wasted that morning.

Child Emperor: Wakes up rather early (if he even slept at all), runs diagnostics on all of his machinery, does tests on his latest weapons, takes 7 decontamination showers, and then makes himself a hearty breakfast consisting of Froot Loops and choccy milk. He shows up to work early and energized, running solely on his 87th lollipop and the single shot of espresso he had that morning. If it’s a weekday, he’d wait off on going to Association headquarters and teach a few classes at the local university instead. He’d then go to work in the middle of the day, grading papers and dying internally at the dumb shit his students say. He keeps a mental tally of how many people forget to write their names on their assignments. He’s suffering.

Metal Knight: Upon slapping the shit out of his alarm clock, he rolls out of bed and commands one of his bitchbots to make a Michelin-Star quality breakfast for him, then proceeds to stalk to the bathroom. He doesn’t shave or shower. He just takes a 45-minute shit because he’s forced himself to go to the bathroom once a day to “save time” when it, in fact, does not save time. After that, he takes a decontamination shower before entering his lab (also another 45 minutes because he’d spend the whole time je— nevermind) and doesn’t show up to work at all because he’s a little bitchboy hellbent on building Skynet in his mom’s basement.

King: Wakes up, cries, plays video games, cries some more, eats some cereal, takes a shower, cries, calls Saitama over, plays video games, Saitama leaves, cries. Then, he’ll show up to work for a single meeting at 4 PM just so everyone knows he isn’t dead, have an anxiety attack, go home, and then cry (while having another anxiety attack). After that, he’ll play video games until 3 AM. Rinse and repeat.

Zombieman: He’ll wake up at 3 AM and then sarcastically open his blinds like “oh wow, what a beautiful morning”. He’ll make himself a hearty breakfast consisting of leftovers, some protein pills, and half a pack of cigarettes. Next, he’ll shower, shave, and do some routine vigilante detective work out in the town before coming back home just as the sun is beginning to rise. After that, he’ll take a thirty second nap and walk his ass to work (because his car has been in the shop for like, seven years) so he can vibe for 3 hours before throwing in the towel and isolating himself for the remainder 18 hours of the day because depression.

Drive Knight: he sleeps plugged into the wall like a Samsung. Either that, or he’s solar-powered.... or maybe he runs on AAAs. I don’t know, but his ass ain’t waking up like everyone else. He’d power on, do some routine checkups on his laboratory or whatever the fuck he’s got going on, and then show up to work for 3 seconds only to dip the fuck back out and go poach some endangered monster species for his collection or some shit. Look, he’s a robot.

Pig God: wakes up at 10 AM like a king and eats a small breakfast consisting of three rotisserie chickens, a whole pot of rice, 57 eggs, and a cool glass of milk (because calcium is important, kids). He’d spend 4 hours on the internet before he gets hungry and decides to go outside, stopping to casually devour an entire species of demon-threat monsters in the middle of the street while simultaneously traumatizing every single child living in a 3-mile radius in the process of doing so. After that, he’d do some hero work for like 30 minutes (and somehow eat like, 200 living things in that timeframe), go back home, and then indulge himself in a 17-hour food coma. He’s earned it.

Superalloy Darkshine: Homie wakes up at 5 AM, works out for two hours, takes a shower, and eats a breakfast big enough to feed a small family of 19. After terrorizing every health expert in the country with his buckwild diet (ironic considering Pig God exists), he hits up his bro Tanktop Master for another 2-hour workout. He then proceeds to take 3 seconds getting dressed in his hero uniform because it’s literally just a thong, and goes to work for a full 8 hours because he’s a good boi who takes his job seriously and genuinely wants to make the world a better place. :)

Watchdog Man: wakes up, pisses on a fire hydrant, eats dog kibble, sits on his pedestal in city Q, and then gets dressed.

Flashy Flash: wakes up in a forest somewhere because he’s probably homeless. The local birds flock around him and sing a morning song. He feeds a baby deer like a Disney princess. Then, he bathes in a waterfall and spends two hours doing his hair. After that, he buys himself a fucking bagel and takes his ass to work smelling like the inside of a Cabella’s. He vibes at HQ for like, 30 minutes, before traveling 500 miles away on his 57th quest for revenge and ends up breaking a record for “most homicides committed by a hero” on the way there.

Genos: wakes up, makes breakfast for Saitama, takes a shower, and spends half an hour doing chores while Saitama bums around with a yolk stain on his pajamas. Then, he’d hit up the professor for any news about upgrades, and go on about his day handing out justice as he sees fit until Saitama suddenly gets the urge to go buy some cabbage. It’ll be another 2 hours of walking around the inside of a grocery store while holding 2 grams of food (because it’s all Saitama could afford, broke ass) before he actually goes to hero HQ for a single meeting (while Saitama tags along), and then slaughter 87 monsters on his way home.

Metal Bat: wakes up at 6 AM because it takes him 8 years to do his hair. He’d wake up Zenko about an hour later and tell her to get ready for school while he hauls ass downstairs to make breakfast (burnt toast and 8 Flinstone vitamins). They walk to Zenko’s school together. He takes ten minutes to shower her with love, and then he turns back around to walk to his own school only to show up like, 45-minutes late to his first class. He only attends hero meetings on weekends because A. Homework and B. He doesn’t give enough of a shit to juggle official hero business and school in the same day (unless it consists of a monster/criminal [or 12] in need of a beating).

Tanktop Master: same as Superalloy. He wakes up at dawn, works out, eats enough to feed a small army, and then calls his actual army over for a meeting. He and the gang discuss ways to better represent the Tanktop ideology over tea, while also sharing workout tips and just having a good time together in general. Around then it’ll probably be 8 or 9 AM, so he’d join Superalloy at Hero HQ and do hero work for the rest of the day alongside his homies. He’s living the life, honestly.

Puri-Puri Prisoner: he’s in prison so he’d wake up at 8 AM on the clock every day, eat his nasty-ass breakfast (although, I’ve said in a previous headcanon that he gets special meals prepared for him on account of being a literal superhero, but I digress), and then he works out in the courtyard for a good hour before going to work in the cafeteria for 3 bucks a day (or the yen equivalent). During visiting hours, he and his boyfriend are inseparable. They’d make some crafts together, gossip, and just hang out. If there’s a threat in the area, Puri will waste no time busting himself out and hugging that shit to death. A true icon.

Amai Mask: he either wakes up at 10 AM or 2 PM every day, there’s no in-between. He’d spend his morning doing every self-care routine under the sun: taking a warm bath, doing a face mask, eating a good breakfast (prepared by his own personal chef, of course), listening to an audio book, you name it. If he has a concert that night, he’d spend the entire day surrounded by people as he gets ready/rehearses/prepares. If not, he’ll just patrol the streets, handing out autographs and some slices of justice. He wouldn’t really show up to any meetings or do official hero business at HQ unless he’s in the mood to cuss out Sekingar and Sitch over some stupid shit or insert himself in S-Class business.

Iaian: wakes up earlier than any of the other disciples and Atomic Samurai because he’s like, responsible or whatever. He meditates, showers, does his own personal routine, and then kicks everyone out of bed for breakfast like an angry suburban mom. After that, he’d participate in everyone’s routine training, and then take his ass to work while showing up to every meeting at HQ (sometimes tagging along with Kami) because he’s a good boi and he has no problem engaging in business. :)

Okamaitachi: She sometimes wakes up with Iaian, but sleeps in most of the time because she needs her beauty rest, obviously. After breakfast and participating in everyone’s training routine, she’d do her hair/makeup and go do her own hero work the majority of the time. She’d sometimes tag along with Iaian, but she prefers to go on her own every so often. If she has some extra time before breakfast, she’ll also do a face mask or catch up on her favorite soap operas.

Bushidrill: this motherfucker sleeps like a log and Iaian wants to kill him for it. He wakes up like, 2 seconds before breakfast and hasn’t shaven in a month. Still, somehow, he manages to get ready in time for training without Kami trying to assault him for being a doofus.

Fubuki: She wakes up hella early and texts her herd of hooligans the daily plan before dealing with Tatsumaki’s shit over the phone. Then, she showers, does her hair, and takes fifteen minutes to get her makeup done right. It doesn’t take her long to plan out her outfit because she has like, 87 black dresses. After an actual hearty breakfast (unlike the rest of these clowns) that she makes herself, she meets up with the blizzard group to discuss business and engage in hero work together as a ✨team✨. She never gets asked to participate in official business by HQ because Tatsumaki strictly forbids it.

Saitama: he brushes his hair and sits on his ass all day.

Mumen Rider: wakes up at dawn, feeds the cats outside, eats a good-ass breakfast (despite being poor, because he’s actually really good at budgeting), and goes out for a nice, morning patrol. He’ll also call his mom and make sure she’s having a good time because that’s important. If it’s not a busy day, he’ll go to the gym and treat himself to some time at the park afterwards. If there’s monsters all about, he’ll spend the rest of the day in the hospital after getting his shit rocked for the 300th time that week. They’ve basically got a bed reserved for him at this point. He’s so pure but so, so selfless. And a little dumb. But mostly selfless.

#one punch man #opm #opm headcanons #headcanon #tatsumaki #silverfang #atomic samurai #child emperor #metal knight #king #zombieman #drive knight #pig god #superalloy darkshine #watchdog man #flashy flash #metal bat #genos #tanktop master #puri puri prisoner #mumen rider #amai mask #iaian #okamaitachi #bushidrill #fubuki #saitama #asks

[tanoraqui]

AU: Hányǐng-jūn

(”Shadowbearing Lord”, translation by @lyratalus)

(see, this is my problem. I decide, “yes, damnit, I AM going to write this longfic!” and then 0.0003 seconds later I’m absolutely swarmed by other plot bunnies.)

anyway, Yiling Patriarch!Lan Wangji but, like...better

Lan Wangji gets out of seclusion and 3 days later takes a mostly sleeping Lan Yuan, a couple days' worth of provisions, and leaves for Yiling. Lan Xichen somehow catches him just outside of Cloud Recesses and LWJ freely admits that he's going to Yiling - the city, not the Burial Mounds themselves - and he's going to raise A-Yuan there and cleanse the Burial Mounds like Wei Wuxian was starting to do with the life he brought back to them

Lan Xichen lets him go, doesn't even bother to play the "shouldn't A-Yuan grow up somewhere healthier and wealthier" card, bc a) cheap shot, b) he knows Wangji has already thought of it (he's right), and c) this is doing NOTHING to convince him that his brother won't commit some sort of passive suicide if he doesn't get to keep that child. God damn, he thought they were over this phase of mourning but Apparently Not

so Lan Wangji gets a house in Yiling, has to deal with 50 tons of gossip - of a new variety; he's used to political gossip and "isn't he hot" gossip but wow he was not prepared for small town "ooh new hot single dad" gossip with a side order of random advice from elderly women about how to care for a six-year-old

(he is, in fact, very grateful for the advice)

(there is no way in hell that Lan Wangji knows how to be the sole provider for a six-year-old)

in the internal war between "do not let A-Yuan out of my sight" and "do not take the vulnerable child to the death mountain", I think the former wins, considering the small child already lived on the death mountain for about a year, and seemed fine except for malnutrition. Which was...well, yes it was a problem with the death mountain, but not directly. Lan Wangji has money and they live in town and commute to the Burial Mounds each day for LWJ to play Cleansing while A-Yuan runs around catching imaginary butterflies or practicing reading; it's fine

...though possibly the nosy grannies convince him to get a babysitter

and maybe to take a break?

oh no i would want so many OCs of just Lan Wangji's neighbors in this

anyway, it doesn't take long for it to become clear that even playing Cleansing all day every day is like being a bird scraping its beak once a millennia on a mountain. Sure it works, technically, but...not really. Frankly, the resentful energy grows back if he stops for a single day. And even Hanguang-jun only has so much power and endurance

he's going to have to handle the resentful energy himself. If he wants to do this, wants to leave some sort of positive legacy for Wei Wuxian, he's going to have to demonically cultivate himself. Siphon the stuff off, and do...something with it. It won't just vanish. Subdue corpses and monsters, probably? Go back to night-hunting?

I dunno how or how fast word gets out, but I guarantee you Jiang Cheng is the first person of note to hear about it and come furiously flying. The fight that follows is raw and possibly literally bloody, and 99.99% about Wei Wuxian (of course.) I think the only reason it stops is that even though they took it outside, A-Yuan wakes up (as does most of the neighborhood) and pokes his head out the window to ask what's going on, and Jiang Cheng puts two and two together with the kid he saw when he visited to disown Wei Wuxian and- 

He can't quite bear to destroy something even halfway adjacent to family He wants Wei Wuxian to have a slightly good legacy, too He storms off.

the only reason he doesn't pass Lan Xichen in the air is that they aren't quite coming from the same direction. This night is becoming very long but Lan Wangji is happy to explain himself to his brother: the careful methods he's started to use, never very much resentful energy at once, and the careful checks he has on himself, meditation and Cleansing and purification rituals. Lan Xichen isn't happy, but he has to concede that it all seems sound, and the goal is certainly a righteous one, and...there are worse ways to mourn

so when an emergency sect leader cultivation conference is called, because the news that Hanguang-jun has not only moved to Yiling but started practicing demonic cultivation has spread like wildfire, Lan Xichen calmly stands forward and defends his brother, states that Lan Wangji is working on noble goals with careful precautions and the full support of GusuLan, he can confirm it himself as Sect Leader but of course any who wish are welcome to visit Yiling as well and judge Hanguang-jun's precautions for themselves.

I cannot put in words how close Jiang Cheng comes to punching him in the face

So that’s what happens: people visit, see what careful measures Lan Wangji has in place, and are convinc- ha ha lol no it’s politics. But it works out. i wish I could say that it's some sort of tie between who Jiang Cheng hates most: Wei Wuxian for everything, but particularly for not even bothering to try to make it safe like LWJ clearly is; Lan Wangji for thinking he can just get away with this shit; Lan Xichen for helping him do it; everyone else for going along with it when they couldn't give Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng and YunmengJiang a single shred of goodwill; or himself for not standing up for either Wei Wuxian (a la Lan Wangji, however post-mortem)/his brother (like LXC)

but we all know it's nowhere near a tie

so...Lan Wangji doesn't plan to teach Lan Yuan (he's still a Lan! They're both still Lans!) any sort of demonic cultivation, but no matter what he does there's still So Much Dangerous Stuff around here, and they have no backup nearby, and demonic cultivation is just so much easier for those without a well-developed golden core yet -

so he teaches him, you know, some basic chords to make a ghost or corpse go the fuck away

(to start)

UNFORTUNATELY I'm pretty sure the timing is such that the Yi City Affair happened mostly while LWJ was in seclusion? Or at least, the start of it, such that the finding of Xue Yang by the side of the road happened either shortly before or shortly after he got out (and, in this case, went to Yiling)

and they have no reason to visit Yiling, so...all that...plays out. as in canon

no reason to visit Yiling, that is, until Xue Yang is sitting on the floor of the coffin house clutching a bag containing the shards of Xiao Xingchen's soul and feeling something like remorse for the first time in his life and he HATES it, he hates it SO GODDAMN MUCH, he wants to burn everyone who contributed to this to the ground and then torment their ghosts for centuries

so, he might then visit Yiling and the man said to be some sort of inheritor of the Yiling Patriarch's power. He almost certainly tries to play nice and helpless, just a good young man who made bad choices and lost his friend, and Lan Wangji probably tries to give him the benefit of the doubt and...yeah that does not last long.

especially if A-Qing has anything to say mime about it

Xue Yang has a fierce corpse on call and the won't-stay-down attitude of a feral weasel on crack who hates you personally, but Lan Wangji has a the home court advantage, including extensive practice siphoning and applying power from the Burial Mounds, and he's fucking Hanguang-jun.

Result: Lan Sizhui gets a sad fierce corpse uncle and a cheerfully-refusing-to-pass-on ghost-jie

HARD CUT uh...10? Ish? Years later? Wei Wuxian aka Mo Xuanyu is quickly giving up the idea of subtle launching fierce corpses at this hand bc at this point it's either out himself or people die, and the latter is not acceptable. He's just about to whistle them in when a ghost whips in and probably saves someone's life by knocking them out of the way. One of the Lan babies shrieks and hides behind another one - but a third points excitedly to the sky and shouts, "Oh, it's Lan Sizhui! Sizhui, over here!"

and who should descend by sword but one Nice Young Man(TM) with a guqin that he plays while switching effortlessly back and forth between spiritual and resentful energy, which, damn, Wei Wuxian didn't even know that was an option. I mean, it wasn't, for him, but...damn! What a clever kid! Did someone teach him?!

oh yeah, imminent danger of death by angry left hand -

Wei Wuxian does have to openly intervene, or at least, obviously intervene by fierce corpse and shouting some instructions at the kids, and then letting this Sizhui kid take the credit for the fierce corpses and trying to book it but, uh...getting caught. By aforementioned Sizhui kid. Who is polite and formal and, Wei Wuxian points out, extremely un-GusuLan-like, what with the bothering him and also the demonic cultivation. There's probably still the ghost of a teenage girl following them and making rude gestures at Wei Wuxian for insulting her little brother

"That's because I'm from the Yiling branch," Lan Sizhui admits, a little shame-facedly except that it's definitely fake shame. 

"Hmm?" says Wei Wuxian, like he knows what that means but is curious for more information (as opposed to have no goddamn idea what that means and desperately wanting more information)

"I, ah, study with Hanying-jun" says Lan Sizhui, who doesn't want to make a big deal out of his parentage. 

"Hmm?" says Wei Wuxian, who is fucking Dying here "I thought I might escort you home with me, so you can get properly cleansed after manipulating those corpses. One must be careful, of course." He sighs in a slightly teenagerish way. "It'll take most of a day, probably, after that arm. I try to use only spiritual energy on night hunts, but that was...pretty bad." 

Wei Wuxian, internally: okay, CONS: getting spiritually cleaned by Lans, even possibly Cool Lans - ugh, why are Lans always like this. PROS: finding out who the fuck this "Hanying-jun” is, bc...what the fuck. In Yiling? Is he stealing MY schtick?? And I can't just ASK, because clearly this kid expects me to recognize the title, which means Mo Xuanyu would probably recognize the title, and even a Lan who practices some sort of resentful energy manipulation isn't just going to be okay with suddenly meeting the Yiling Patriarch...And i can always run if I have to. 

WWX: I mean...okay! I don't have anything else to do!

except they do detour to Dafan Mountain a little because Lan Sizhui wasn't raised quite Lan enough to beat out the rebellious teenager streak and he wants to fight a big monster, and Jiang Cheng nearly fucking draws Zidian on sight bc he really. Hates. The Yiling Lans. And then Lan Wangji shows up just bc he heard about a ruckus and figured it was a good place to find his son

and then goddess statue, Wen Ning, terrible bamboo flute...

it's definitely not 'til after Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng have started and maybe finished fighting before Wie Wuxian finds out that the mysterious bastard who totally stole his spot as Dark Lord of Yiling is Hanguang-jun

or, you know...different title now

apparently

and then LWJ takes him and orders him bathed and - wait actually if they've developed elaborate formal spiritual purification rituals to balance handing resentful energy, he. he probably does order Wei Wuxian bathed

and then brought to his room

oh wow

beautiful

AND THEN PLOT RESUMES AS NORMAL?!? except possibly several questions of romance and Lan Sizhui's history get cleared up much faster 

also Lan Wangji - Hanying-jun - doesn’t have as peerless a reputation to trade on. Public opinion is probably fairly split between camps of, like, “he’s doing a good and noble thing, cleaning the Burial Mounds” vs. “the Lans say it’s okay so it must be, but wow that seems dangerous and/or useless” vs. “demonic cultivation is always eeeevil!” Among cultivators specifically, it’s more the first two, but...performatively more the first, genuinely more the second.

#mdzs #the untamed #lan wangji #lan sizhui #lan xichen #jiang cheng #wei wuxian