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#but as it is the continued stress being stacked on due to her refusing to acknowledge it is only going to make things worse
asexual-levia-tan · 11 months
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i tried to make this post while on post limit so lets see if i can remember all the points i wanted to hit
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i do feel kinda bad for the prince that she (and apparently even cael himself) really feel this way about him. so far this entire time he really has shown nothing but concern for cael (and thus, suspicion towards hestia), not to mention that he tends to visit cael while using an alias. if he'd ever visited cael in the previous life to try to reconcile(way too late), she'd have no clue about it.
at the same time, him @ diana like "i didnt correct your opinion on cael because i thought you'd come around on your own🥺" Just Ain't It. the two of you were practically raised as brothers and you still didnt try to mediate between him and your girlfriend?? hello??? especially considering that he saved your entire kingdom a massive headache???
all that being said
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i think maybe the timeline here has been too vague. just how much time was between cael and diana's fight and diana and the prince's wedding? prince has made it sound like he doesnt have the full picture, yet at the same time he definitely knows diana's opinion on cael. if i had a clearer picture of how long the prince had waited before reaching out, i'd be able to understand cael's feelings better.
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songofsilentechoes · 1 year
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The child was outside his home and playing with his bunny plush, he knew Jack went to go and walk around a bit, he was a bigger boy and could do that, plus, he knew how to get home, unlike Lief. This was when he spotted his auntie and wave to her, looking as if he was expecting her. "Auntie! Auntie! I have this for you!" He'd say while getting up and pulling out a small stack of papers as well as a strange device... it looked like a mirror with a device attached to the backside of it. "M-My friend told me you needed this stuff!" He'd say while holding out the files to her. "I dunno what it say but it messy!"
Before here was the following:
Project Cyber Corps Initiative
Test Experiment Designation J
  Information:
-WARNING! Unauthorized Access is liable for termination of the reader, clearance level required [Head Director]. All who continue viewing of documentation past this warning [Blood splatter covers the rest of the warning.]
  Experiment Designation J Real Name: Unknown Age: 6 Gender: Male Nationality: Noxian [SN: Possible Outcast/Reject] Compatibility with Nanomachines: Absurdly High
Director Notes:
Honestly, ever since that strange man showed up, I’ve been waiting for the perfect subject to come along so I could finally fulfill my ambitions. Experiment Designation J has been an excellent soldier with the virtual field testing, an efficiency rating of 97%. Cold blooded, ruthless, good at stealth ops, and has even managed to complete Mission Gamma, reported to be the most difficult there is! Granted, he was critically wounded, but able to return to base before passing out was phenomenal! It is unfortunate that Doctor Moxanne wishes to trivialize all this work by trying to bond with J. I refuse to acknowledge such ridiculous claims ‘A need for paternal bonding’ or ‘Needing to create a connection lest he run wild’. Once Research and Development finish with The Device, we’ll not need to worry about him ‘running wild’ the only thing we’ll need is a remote and an order. Once we prove J’s success, we’ll be able to obtain more subjects for this project, no longer will we have to be like filth and sully our hands and work with crimes! Experiment I and Experiment H were both failures, but J... J is going to be our crowned success. All we need now is the Device... soon J... soon I will name you and you will be like a son to me. The only family I’ll need.
  Experiment J’s Mission Details: Mission Alpha - Capture Target. Great Success Kill Rate: 100%
Mission Beta - Eliminate Enemy Squad Flawless Success Kill Rate: 100%
  Mission Gamma - Rescue Target
Great Success Kill Rate: 99%
  Mission Delta - Town Elimination Not Yet Tested [SN] Many researchers are against putting a child through this test. Their worries are noted, but unfounded. This is no longer a child, he is a soldier, and as long as he takes orders, that’s all that matters. Emotions will hold him back from his task. Man, woman, child, non-combatant, and even those unable to do anything, if they are in the way of his mission or put it at risk, they must be removed. Period.
  Final Notes:
Experiment J has been the best out of all the others. Going with them younger and younger to get them started was the right call to make. Experiment A was too old, cracked under the strain, had to be removed. Experiment B, despite being a little younger than A, was too fragile and passed away from stress and shock, like a weakling. Experiment C was incompatible with the Nanomachines, self-terminated due to constant pain from them. Experiment D was just an animal, purely for research, not an actual experiment despite what others say. Experiment E had been bogged down with emotions, unfit for combat, removed. At Experiment F we finally decided to go for children and this is when we found out that by molding them early, there were better results. Unfortunately, Zaunite Children were so blinded by the tales of heroes and morals that they could not be efficient soldiers. Experiments F to H were all failures and had to be removed. Then we happened up Experiment I while traveling to a battlefield for potential research, an orphan, very young. Oh yes, Experiment I was brilliant I lament that she escaped, unable to handle the stress, we are readying a small team to capture her at some point. She did express some fondness for Experiment J, perhaps we can lure her in for removal. It would be wonderful if we could pit J against I and see who is the better experiment.
Those three years of raising Experiment J were pure agony. Between the constant crying, Doctor Moxanne’s coddling, and all that was needed for child rearing, I’m beyond relieved that he didn’t end up like the others. Perhaps there is something ingrained in Noxian children that can be utilized to turn them into better experiments. Those J is my finest work, perhaps K or even furhter down the line Y could be my magnum opus! Ah... J, my beloved son. Your father is proud. If only your real parents could’ve seen what your potential was, they could’ve been used for the child rearing and even producing more siblings. Such a shame... such an honest shame. Perhaps we could go back through your family tree and see what your bloodline looks like... I wonder if you have any family.
      Research Notes - Doctor Moxanne
Date [Dried Blood]
Personal Notes:
I’m excited that I was able to be picked for this. I think it is a wonderful idea to craft Nanomachines to help our soldiers out. Though I’d rather it’s purposes be for more altruistic measures, using our troops as field-testing is a good idea and maybe it could lead to more surrenders when enemies have a massive drop in morale after seeing our strong men and women come back from the brink without nary a scratch. Think of the possible rescue operations that could be carried out! We may even be able to bring Zaun to a golden era that makes Piltover look like how we currently do.
  Date [Unknown]
Personal Notes:
...It’s been a while since I’ve just sat down to write my own notes. So many people are looking over my shoulder and so many doubt me despite the fact I’ve gotten results. These people are too heartless... An older consenting person is one thing, but to use actual children? It’s... it’s so barbaric... I want this to work, and... and if this can help Zaun’s children I’ll continue but... the rest? I... I don’t think I can handle this. It’s been three years... I think... time has blurred together here and I don’t think anyone is leaving... at least... not alive. My only solace is Experiment I... she still seems like a child. I hope she can survive...
  Date: [Scratch Marks and dried tears]
Personal Notes:
I had to fight so hard for him... so damn hard... Janna forgive me I couldn’t stop them! [More tears] Experiment J... I... I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry... I won’t let them touch you. I won’t! Not until you’re old enough! I’ll protect you! Janna please forgive me, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry... I-I held her hand while she died... as I took you from her arms. Experiment J please forgive me, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll protect you from him as long as I can. I’m so sorry.
  Date [Unknown, Jack’s Release]
Personal Notes:
...I’ve felt like someone has been living in my head... Like... like I’m not myself sometimes... I tried to protect him... but once he was three... they took him for the virtual training... Was it then that I broke? Is this what happens when you’re broken? Am I just a passenger? Well... I’ll not be one any longer... I’ve already put my plan into action. Today will be the last day he suffers at his hands... Experiment J... No... Jack... yes.. I... I like that name for you... Happy Birthday Jack... my beloved son... the time we spent was so short... and I can’t protect you... I couldn’t protect you... I didn’t... I’m so sorry... I don’t know who’ll kill me... It would be a kindness if it was him... though if for some reason it’s you... I just want you to know I’m sorry. I don’t know if you’ll ever find these notes. I don’t know if anyone will read them. These will more than likely be left behind. Experiment I, if you’re reading this... if everything went as I hoped... find him... don’t let him be alone. Who knows what’s malfunctioned... he’ll need your help. You’re his big sister. Do what I couldn’t. Jack... if you’ve found this somehow... I’m so sorry. Your home... Your real home... it’s on the outter reaches of Noxus... I don’t know if it’s still there... but it’s a small house. I don’t know if those bastards really went back to bury your parents like they said they would... but know this... they loved you dearly... your mother wanted to protect you with her dying breath... Your father... despite being fatally wounded and had us believing he was dead... gripped my ankle as I held you. It was like he was saying ‘Don’t take him from us’. There is so much more I wanted for you... for this project... I’m sorry. I couldn’t protect you. Janna... if you ever find this place... I’m so sorry... I’m not going to the same place as your parents Jack...
Oh... and to you... hanger on... help him... please...
  [Beneath is information regarding the Nanomachine tech as well as how to safely remove it should it even become a problem. Other information like what to do to in case of sudden emergency shutdown of said machines and how to turn them back on is also there. There is even a diagram of Experiment J and showing where the heaviest concentration of the machines are.]
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Grounded
Summary: Y/n is kidnapped and forced to reveal secrets of the pack
Pairing: Derek X Reader
Warnings: Blood, torture, swearing
Word count: 2605
Original piece please don’t copy
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The school bell rang for the final time that day, a collective sigh of gratitude echoed in the room, the teenagers grateful to be released from the maths teacher’s class. Gathering your books, you stacked them in a neat pile before exiting the room, offering a small smile to your defeated teacher. It wasn’t her fault maths sucked and no one enjoyed it, you did feel bad for her on some level but also who the hell would willingly dedicate their life to teaching numbers?
Entering the hallway, you made your way through the sea of teenagers, everyone desperate to go home for the weekend. Reaching your locker, you grabbed the couple books you needed, shoving them into your backpack, thinking about the homework you had due on Monday you sighed. The door to your locker slammed shut before you could close it.
“Hey, you ready?” Stiles smiled.
“I told you I can walk home.” You rolled your eyes, walking away from the boy. Surprised by your quick movement, Stiles jogged to catch up to you, throwing an arm lazily around your shoulders.
“I know you can walk home but why would you when you have me?”
Exiting the main doors of the high school, you welcomed the fresh warm air, the smell of angsty teens left behind you. Reaching the end of the pavement, you saw the jeep parked a few cars away.
“Stiles I want to walk.” You turned to face the boy.
“Y/n, you heard what Derek said okay? All these recent attacks? The break ins and thefts? He doesn’t want you alone.” Stiles tried to reason with you. Knowing the recent spike in criminal activity was less than likely to involve the supernatural, you felt safe walking the 20-minute trip home. In fact, you enjoyed the peace it brought you. Half of the walk was through the woods, a quiet haven from the busy high school, and being autumn, you relished in the yellow and orange leaves that swept through the small woodlands.
“Stiles. It’s 20 minutes. I’ll text you when I get home okay?” Stiles sighed.
“You know Derek is going to kill me if I let you, you know, that right? You like the idea of alive Stiles because I do! And I am not letting you be the reason I don’t make it to my 20’s okay?”
“Derek doesn’t have the balls to kill you.” You turned on the heel of your foot, headed towards the woods, leaving a defeated Stiles in your wake.
“I’m telling Derek you said he has no balls!” He called after you. You let out a small laugh, grabbing your headphones from your backpack, and your phone from your pocket, you scrolled through your playlist, deciding today was the perfect day for (Your current favourite song).
Entering the woods, you felt a rush of calm wash over you, the stressful week was pushed to the back of your mind, your thoughts centred on the surrounding woods. You stepped over exposed roots and around large bushes, glancing up at the sky you watched as the wind swept through the foliage, the ageing leaves dancing in the light breeze. The sun peaked through the cracks, determined to reach the forest floor, providing the perfect amount of light for your stroll. The floor of the woods had been coated in fallen leaves, leaving a blanket of red and orange below your feet. Taking a moment to stop and appreciate the tranquillity the forest provided you, you felt your phone buzz in you pocket.
Home yet? I’m this close to sending out a search party!
Rolling your eyes and shaking your head you began typing a response.
You need to…
Before you could finish you felt a knock to your head, your vision distorted, the soft sound of music playing through your headphones which were now next to you on the forest floor, was the only thing you could hear before everything went black.
***
Another blow straight to your stomach knocked the wind out of you. Coughing and spluttering you attempted to regain your breath, each inspiration hurting more than the last.
“Oh, you are so going to regret that.” You mumbled.
Leaning to the side of the chair you spat a mixture of saliva and blood to the ground, you couldn’t tell where the source of the blood was coming from, maybe your lip, or maybe the inside of your mouth. Too many lacerations to your face meant it all blended into one.
You raised your eyes to meet your rival, struggling to see through the blood you saw one man wiping his fists on an old rag, your blood coating his knuckles. He faced a woman to your left, who sat with one bent knee up on a bench. Her back leaning against the wall adjacent to you, a smug grin on her face.
You rotated your wrists which were bound behind you, the thick rope digging into your skin. Your ankles were bound too, tied to the legs of the wooden chair you sat on.
“You’re going to tell us what we want sweetie, its just a matter of how beat up that pretty face is going to be before you tell us.” The woman commented, as she played with her fingernails, pushing the cuticles back. If she was trying to look disinterested, she was doing a great job. But you were ready for this. You trained for this. You knew what was coming, and if it meant keeping your friends, the pack, safe, then you would gladly take whatever they threw at you.
The mans fist connected with your jaw once more, snapping you out of your daze. The room began to spin around you, and your vision blurred. Trying to recenter yourself you pulled at your wrists, the pain of the rope grinding into your skin giving you something to focus on.
“Alright careful there, big guy, we need her conscious if we’re going to get that information.” The woman stood from her seat, striding slowly over to you, before bending at the waist in front of you. She reached out to grab your face, but as soon as her fingers made contact with your skin you pulled away. A stern look, on your face made the woman let out a small laugh.
“You’re a tough one aren’t you.” She turned her head, almost admiring your battered body before her. “Too bad that doesn’t mean shit around here.” Grabbing your hair, she yanked your head back, exposing your neck to the room. Moving to stand behind you she held out her other hand, gesturing towards the man in front of you. Without a word exchanged, the man grabbed a knife from a nearby table, its blade glinting in the moonlight the small window above you allowed.
“Sweetheart, you have no idea who you are dealing with do you?” The woman whispered in your ear, her grip on your hair only tightening as she neared the knife to your throat. You felt the cold edge, lightly cross your neck, not enough to pierce the skin, but enough for you to avoid swallowing.
Taking a deep breath in you closed your eyes. Grounding yourself was apart of your training, something that was drilled into you from the beginning. Breathing in again, you picked up on the different smells the room produced, sweat from the man in front of you, poorly masked by his cheap cologne. The sweet smell of the woman’s hair from behind, her locks dangling beside your face. The overwhelming metallic smell of blood being the most potent. You changed your focus to your heartbeat. Feeling it pounding against your chest begging to be released you pictured your heart slowing, its contractions reducing with every breath you took. Steadying your breathing was next. Cautious of the blade still connected to your neck you breathed in through your nose, holding in for a few seconds before releasing softly through your mouth. Repeating those steps, you were able to regain some stability. You were still in the same crappy scenario but at least now you were calmer. A panicking person is an interrogators wet dream. A calm person, their nightmare.
Sensing your self-control increase, the woman let go of your hair, moving the knife from your neck to the table beside the man. Standing before you once more, she knelt in front of you, keeping one knee up for balance, she waited for your eyes to open once more. Regaining the control, you almost lost, you felt strong enough to open your eyes once more. Staring at you the woman barely moved, she was searching your eyes for something, her expression a mixture of shock and impressed.
“You’re not afraid.” Her words barely above a whisper. Your only response was a return glare. A small smile creeping on to the face of your kidnapper. “They trained you well.”
Standing, she turned to the man behind her, whispering something in his ear before turning back to face you, her arms crossed against her chest. The man dropped the rag he was still holding and left the room, the sound of the door locking behind him.
“Let’s cut the bullshit honey. You have information I need. And I know I’m not going to break you, not by torturing you anyways. So, let’s try something else, shall we?” The woman began to pace back and forth in front of you, the small room only allowing her a few steps before being forced to turn around again. Your eyes followed her, left and right, before she stopped in front of you once more, still facing forward.
Taking in a sharp breath, she spoke. “How’s your sister doing?” She turned to face you. Refusing to let her know she was finally making some progress with you, you remained staring at her. Resuming her pacing she continued speaking.
“She’s what 5 now? Gosh so young. But you know what they say right? They grow up so fast.” Your eyes tracked the woman, more intently than before. This woman knew your family. Something that was always off limits when the pack was involved. Your attempts at shielding them from the supernatural had been successful, keeping that part of your life private even from Derek. And here this woman stood, threatening them. Threating to take away your motivation to make the world safer. Unfazed by your lack of reaction the woman carried on.
“Soon enough she’ll be going to high school, making friends, maybe even realising who her sister really is.” She stopped before you once more, bending at the waist she placed her hands on the arms of the chair you were bound to. “You didn’t think you could protect them, forever did you?” Tears threatened to fall from your eyes. No amount of calm breathing could ground you now. “Aw babe.” Her hand raised to your cheek, ready to wipe away the falling tear. You only pulled away from her once more, hating the way her skin on yours felt. “Don’t tell me I hit a nerve, did I? Sucks doesn’t it. Well, there is one way of ensuring your little family stay naïve to the world around them.” She stood tall once more, her voice now deeper, more sinister than before. “Tell me what I want to know.”
You had no choice, right? She threatened your family, your sister. You protected them from so long, only for you to be the reason they are in danger. Looking down at your lap, tears hit your thighs unable to control them you simply let them fall. Taking a deep breath, you looked up at the woman before you, a smirk present on her face which made it so much harder to say what you were about to. But the images of your sister raced through your mind. The way her hair shone in the autumn sun, the way her smile reached her eyes when she was really, truly happy, the way she greeted you after school every day by running down the front path directly into your arms. That was the highlight of your day, finishing school and-
Wait
You never responded to Stiles.
You never texted him back, and the kidnappers were kind enough to bring your phone into the room with you – hoping to get some information.
Your eyes moved to the door behind the woman, a loud crash followed by a heavy grunt sounded from behind the entranceway. The woman whipped her head around, only to be met by silence. She slowly approached the doorway.
“Adrian…?”
Silence
The woman turned back to you, unsure of herself. You only had a small smirk as a response. Before she could question you, the door busted open, barely remaining on its hinges, a rush of dust filled the room. Watching ahead as the dust clouds engulfed the woman, you heard a deafening roar followed by a petrified scream. Small thuds followed, as the dust reached your eyes you began coughing, the sudden pain in your ribs swiftly returning.
Two hands were placed on your shoulders, looking up you were met by two green eyes.
“Hey, you okay?” A worried Derek scanned your face, concern riddled him as he saw the multiple cuts and bruising before him. You could only nod, the dust denying you the ability to speak.
Moving behind you, he effortlessly cut the ties that bound your hands, then your legs. Using the arms of the chair to stable yourself, you attempted to stand, wincing when the pain became too much. Derek moved to your side, wrapping your arm over his shoulder. Carefully placing his arm around you, resting his hand on your hip he accepted most of your weight, attempting to make standing and walking easier. As you took a few steps forward, the dust cleared from your eyes and you were able to regain focus. Looking forward you saw the woman who threatened you, her back against the same wall the door was, her skin now covered in blood, her chest still rising and falling rapidly. Scott stood before her, looking down at the defeated woman, his eyes still red and his claws still present.
Clearing your throat, you stopped walking, causing Derek to pause and look over to you. You peered down at the woman, no longer in a position of power, she looked smaller, more gaunt than before. Her eyes showed she was petrified, providing some comfort to you after what she did.
“Sucks doesn’t it?” a whisper of a smirk present on your lips.
Proceeding to step forward through the doorway you were met by a panting Stiles, his arms stretched out in front of him, you couldn’t tell him to stop before his body connected with yours. You inhaled sharply, grimacing as pain rang throughout your body.
Derek used his free hand to grab Stiles by the shoulder, pulling him away from you, a small growl forming in his chest.
“Oh, shit sorry of course you’re hurt shit sorry.” The boy stumbled over his words, his eyes finally taking in the battered sight before him. He moved to the side of you not occupied by Derek, his help was welcomed by you, suddenly feeling lightheaded from standing.
The three of you began walking forward towards the exit of the building.
“Is now a good time to tell Derek, you think he has no balls?” Stiles piped up earning a death glare from Derek. “No? Okay we can come back to that.” You used whatever energy you had left to shake your head.
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linkspooky · 4 years
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We’re the Same, You and I.
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It’s a classic villain line, but it’s also true. Heroes and villains aren’t born in My Hero Academia, they’re made. Despite what hero society a lot of what propels people towards hero or villainry is just circumstances. There’s no better demonstration of this then Midoriya, and Shigaraki who have the exact origin point but because of circumstances were pushed in complete opposite directions. People are not good or evil. People are mainly reacting to circumstances and struggling to get through them. 
Deku and Shigaraki can be so similiar on the inside, and so different on the outside because what they’ve experienced is different. That’s important, because the world is not fair. Rather than blaming people for what they’ve endured, and struggled against in an unfair world, or trying to fix the circumstances of the world heroes instead villaiize victims of circumstance.
1. Good Victim / Bad Victim
Shigaraki and Deku is the same. There’s a nature vs. nurture argument in My Hero Academia, where quirk society suggests that people born with more violent, destructive quirks are therefore by nature more prone to destruction in violence. In every single case however we see this is not the case. Tenko destroyed his family by accident, Toga was pushed by familial abuse until she suffered a psychological break, the destructive potential of Twice’s quirk only came about because he was poor and homeless. He was just a delivery guy before that point. 
Gran Torino suggests the idea that there’s no way Shigaraki can be saved or reformed, as if Shigaraki decided to become a villain on his own. Despite knowing how manipulative a person AFO is. 
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There is a double standard in regards to victims known as Good Victim, Bad Victim. It’s the idea that instead of the idea that all humans react badly when placed in stressful situations, there are good ways to react to abuse, and bad ones. It fits with the double standard of hero soecity, people who are meek, quiet, victims like Eri are saved, while little Tenko who was ragged, ugly, and violently lashed out against his father in self defense nobody even lifts a finger to save. 
It goes beyond that though, what Gran Torino is suggesting that if Shigaraki Tomura were a good person, he would have somehow held onto that goodness despite being a manipulated and abused by a crimminal mastermind for fifteen years. That if Shigaraki were a good person, he just somehow magically would not react to trauma, or abuse, and would magically break free from AFO’s control with magic and sunshine. 
It’s an idea that ultimately blames victims for the abuse they are put under. It suggests that somehow Shigaraki deserved the abuse that he was put through, because he was bad all along from the start. 
A morality trope about the arbitrary distinctions writers make between certain sorts of victims. If a character in fiction has a problem or ailment or social situation, and the creators intend him to be sympathetic, the character will have acquired the problem in the most socially acceptable way. If the character isn't sympathetic, then he will have contracted the illness through "your own damn fault".
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By suggesting that Shigaraki was born bad and circumstance has nothing to do it, it puts all the fault for Shigaraki’s badness on Shigaraki himself. Therefore, Gran Torino remains morally pure. Nothing about the world around them needs to be corrected. Nothing about Gran Torino needs to be corrected. It is always the victim’s fault for acting the way they do, and not the cirumcstances that drove them to act that way. 
Yes, victims are still responsible for their reactions. Yes, being a victim doesn’t mean you get to lash out and not be responsible for the people you hurt. However, people can be both villains and victims at the same time. Nobody deserves to have gone through what Shigaraki went through. By invalidating his victimhood and suggesting Shigaraki only became this way through his OWN DAMN FAULT, all it means is more victims will be ignored. Good victim bad victim is bad because it moralizes victimhoods around arbitrary lines. Usually around what’s a “socially acceptable” reaction to victimhood. (Whatever that means). 
Tenko was just a normal kid. Not only that, most normal people would react that with if exposed to Tenko’s cirucmstances. Most people aren’t extraordinarily good or extraordinarily bad with a few outliars, most people are reacting to circumstances. Almost any normal person would be that way if they were exposed to Tenko’s circumstances and we know this because, the league is made out of people who are just like Tenko, and who all started out as normal kids. However, circumstances can change, and people can change. Rather than trying for that result, Hero Society focuses on punishing it’s worst victims. 
“The point is: People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?”
The league shows improvement when they are exposed to trust, and compassion with one another. 
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By choosing between good and bad people to save, the people who are suffering the worst will never get the help they need. As Shigaraki’s speech affirmed this later, Heroes aren’t for protecting the worst victims who need the most saving, they sheperd the majority and exclude the minority. 
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This even extends to what Dabi asks Tokoyami. Who is it that is most in need of saving? 
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The hero kids this entire arc have moved to protect the pro heroes. However, not only are the pro heroes guilty of bringing the kids into a warzone without permission in the first place and putting them in danger. Pro Heroes are also, at fault for most of society’s ills because they contribute to the problems of society that villains are blamed for. Parental abuse, Homelessness, Quirk Discrimmination, Shigaraki’s entire life, all of the villains are the victims of the worst abuse and rather than rehabilitate them the heroes have been violently beating them down all this time. The heroes have blood on their hands because they’ve been beating down victims and punishing them all this time and making things worse, but they never have to bear any responsibility for that because all blame falls on victims. 
2. Deku is Given Everything
One of the most important parts of Shigaraki’s foiling with Deku is that everything that Shimura Tenko should have had, Deku was given instead. Gran Torino victim blames Shigaraki for trampling over Shimura Nana’s memory. 
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However, it’s Gran Torino who made the choice to ignore Nana’s final wishes. Nana’s wish was for Kotaro to live a happy life apart from her, and unaffected by both her decisions, and whatever AFO was planning to do to her.
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However, Shigaraki is continually punished over and over again because he just happened to be born as Shimura Tenko, Shimura Nana’s grandson. It was Gran Torino’s responsibility to make sure that Kotaro, and her family was protected from AFO but he failed that. When he still had a chance to help Nana’s last remaining family member, he neglected that instead. The one trampling all over Nana’s legacy is Gran Torino, because he refuses to honor her wish to protect her last living family member. Gran Torino blames Shigaraki, because he can’t face the fact that he himself made the wrong choice. 
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Shigaraki started with the exact same origin point as Deku. However, Deku was helped by All Might. The things that Shigaraki should have received Deku was given instead. And I’m not even talking about super powers. I’m talking about help on the most basic level. 
All Might and Gran Torino knew about Kotaro, and knew that he might be targeted. Rather than checking up on him, they ignored him for years. Even after learning about Shigaraki’s circumstances, they still chose to ignore rather than even make the attempt to do something about it. 
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Shigaraki’s arc is one of losing things over and over again, whereas Deku’s arc is being given things. Deku is saved by All Might finding him that day and telling him he could become a hero. Shigaraki just needed one person to save him, but All Might didn’t show up that day because he was turning a blind eye to his responsibilities. 
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Deku is given the help ne needs, when he needs it. Whereas, Shigaraki is never helped. Deku is given two successive mentors due to his connections with All Might, Eraserhead and Gran Torino. He didn’t even earn Gran Torino because he didn’t get far enough or make a good enough impression in the sports festival. Deku’s mentors all make an effort to stay alive and stay with him. (Sir Nighteye was Mirio’s mentor he doesn’t count). Shigaraki loses mentor after mentor. 
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Shigaraki loses both All For One and Kurogiri, and had to find a way to survive without both of them. AFO deliberately abandoned Shigaraki to retraumatize him and make his hatred towards the heroes worst. All Might makes a promise to stay with Deku, and stay alive, because he knows emotionally Deku needs him. 
The things I’m talking about Deku is given are support, stability and a consistent environment. These are things Shigaraki has never had his entire life. All Shigaraki has is violence he’s endured countless times over and over. Deku is given six quirks that he unlocks by having a dream about them. In order to start stacking multiple quirks, Shigaraki has to train in the mountain for a month without sleep in order to prove himself to AFO’s remnants who instead of just giving him a chance constantly force him to prove himself, but he also had to endure months of horribly painful surgery. Retraumatizing himself yet another time, because Shigaraki has been a victim of lifelong experimentation under Ujiko. He was taken in to become an experiment. It’s not really something he can consent to if he was adopted when he was five years old, and then groomed for fifteen years with the expectation that he would submit himself into this surgery in order to become AFO’s proper heir. 
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The remnants of the OFA quirk try to guide Deku and lend him his strength. The remnants of the AFO quirk only try to control Shigaraki. 
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Deku is a good boy yes, but is it because he’s inherently a good person or is it because he hasn’t faced what Shigaraki has? Shigaraki is forced again and again to confront the ugliest parts of society, quirk discrimmination, abuse, whereas Deku gets to remain wholly oblivious of them. It’s not even that Deku thinks that Shigaraki is too much of an extremist in trying to correct society, Deku doesn’t even think there’s a problem with the society that created Shigaraki in the first place. 
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Deku forgives heroes, but not the biggest victims of heroes. He is moving to protect people like Gran Torino, and Endeavor who are both responsible for the creation of Shigaraki. Gran Torino through neglect. Endeavor because he is an abuser just like Kotaro was, and he also, created Dabi who is so much more like Shigaraki. Who is to say that Deku would not have turned out just like Shigaraki if exposed to similiar circumstances? Look at his reaction in the latest chapter.
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Dkeu’s reaction, his feral faces, his frothing at the mouth violence all resembles Shigaraki. It’s almost like those who are exposed to violence are pushed to become more violent. Now circcumstances are reversed and Deku sees somebody’s body falling apart, like how his used to when he used the OFA quirk. 
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Deku’s response is yeah, it’s time to beat the shit out of this guy. Deku’s response to violence is only to become more violent. Not only is he not even trying to overcome the cycle, he’s not even aware the cycle exists. So, then. So then. If Deku can become violent enduring the same violent circumstances that Shigaraki once did. If Deku can become spiteful, hateful, even vengeful. 
Then, what exactly is the difference between Shigaraki and Deku?  The only difference is what they’ve been through. Shigaraki has been abused more, so he’s crazier that’s all. Who they are inside is the same after all this time. The only difference between them really is that Shigaraki is punching up, while Deku punches down from a position of privilege. 
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angelanimedesaray · 3 years
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Through the Looking Glass Chapter 11:  Winter Snow
AN:  Yaaassss This is one of those chapters that has been in my head since I started writing the series.  Finallyyyyyyyy we’re here.
Also consider this the point that they’re not kids anymore.  They’ll be full blown adults next chapter.  Still teenagers here, but they won’t be in the next chapter.
Characters:  Levi, Reader, Mentions of Varioud BG Characters
Pairing:  (Eventual) Levi x Reader
Warnings:  Language, Mentions of Bullying, Depression, Bit of a Breakdown, Angst
Word Count:  12296.....Holy Shnikies, is that a new record for me with Tumblr fics? I think it is... O.o
<----Previous Chapter    Masterlist    Next Chapter---->
Gif Found HERE
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*Levi’s POV*
When she had shown him the little booklet of information about college, he hadn’t at the time realized just how big of a part that was going to play in her life--not so soon, at least.
It was nothing that happened right away, and not something that he noticed as soon as it started to happen.  For a while, everything continued as it always had.  He would show up in her world and be granted a brief reprieve from his life, with her pulling him deeper and deeper into the wonders her world had to offer, showing and teaching him new things.  When she turned fifteen and was able to drive a car--he finally had a name for those damn horseless carriages--she took the time to try and teach him how to drive those death machines as well.  It was rocky at first, with her focusing on how this button and this position and this pedal did such and such, starting with simply getting the car going and moving it back and forth, teaching him about basic signs, driving on certain terrains and in certain weather…
It ended up being an entire process, and it took more than a few days where they saw each other to teach him how to safely drive a car--and even then, she only taught him to use an automatic.  Apparently there was another kind of car that operated differently, but she said he shouldn't worry about learning to drive the other one unless she ended up getting one of those different cars.
It had been much easier learning the emergency phone number in her world, the number to call if there was ever trouble and they needed help.  Three numbers and press the green phone button, it didn't get much easier than that.
Of course, he also kept learning other things.  He liked to peruse the books in her house, particularly the ones about the history of her world, or the nature and what it looked like beyond what he saw with her.  Sometimes that was what he did while he waited for her to finish her schoolwork.  Other times, he practiced what she'd been showing him on the piano.  He wasn't as good at it as she was, but he also didn't have a piano to practice on in his world--not unless he drew all the keys in the dirt and pretended he heard the sounds of the keys while he practiced the patterns and positions.
Even though he'd practice by himself while he waited for her to finish the homework beyond his understanding, he preferred when she would help him practice.  He liked having her sit so close beside him, hands over or under his to show him the keys…
She also liked to take him places.  Especially after she got that car.  If they had the time and it wasn't too late in the day, she would drive them to another town to see a new park.  Once she'd gone bowling--and they'd both sucked until he finally got the hang of it.  She taught him pool after getting grumpy over Levi getting the hang of bowling and pulling ahead of her in three or four games.  Pool she'd been fairly good at, as had Levi once he got used to using the pool stick instead of a knife--he had wicked aim and accuracy, which helped him significantly in that game.
She liked to bring him places to try foods from different cultures with her, or to walk through bookstores and help her choose new fantasy or sci-fi or supernatural stories to read.  She’d even buy him any books that caught his eye so that he could read them when he visited, though he usually checked with her that they were non-fiction, first, so he could still learn something about the world she came from in the process.
While all this autonomy started to appear, and they were able to do and see more things, she was also...changing.
She was always so eager to get out of the house when she saw him, looking relieved and happy for an excuse.  When she thought he wasn't looking, she seemed tired.  There were circles under her eyes, a slight slump to her shoulders, and the few times Levi drove the car instead of her, if he glanced over at her he could catch her with her eyes closed, like she was trying to rest a little in the brief silence between them.  A few times, she'd fallen asleep on him, though Levi never said anything about it, even when she woke up embarrassed.  The most she would get would be a soft 'Tch' before he went back to whatever he'd been doing to entertain himself while she rested.  Considering how eagerly she always threw herself into their time together, she had to be exhausted if she was falling asleep during it.
And he didn't mind it at all when she fell asleep on him.  For those few minutes, it felt like he got to be the one to take care of her for once, something he didn't get to do nearly as much as he would like to.  She took care of him so much and in so many ways, he doubted he'd ever be able to catch up and return the favor to its fullest extent.  Plus, he soon found out why she always seemed so exhausted.  It turned out she was stressed and spread thin.
It was something he had to piece together slowly from things she said or papers he found.  She was always so focused on making the most out of his visits, that she never said a word about how tired she was, or the things that were stressing her out.  She wanted him to take his mind off his life, to not worry, so she tried not to mention anything that would make him worry about her.
But he paid attention when she talked to him.  She was going to school five days of the week, yes, but she was also working two jobs, as well as some babysitting on the side when the opportunity presented itself.  Her mother had apparently remarried, and was expecting another child soon, so she was trying to help more around the house with things her mother couldn't do due to her pregnancy.  She was putting in all the work required to stay at the top of her class, namely the very top, which would be called a valedictorian.  She was also keeping up with her interests, helping her mother with an out of home bakery business, keeping up with her piano practice, and she did something called skating that she felt gave her some exercise but also relaxed her.  She was also in one or two school activities that took her time, and once they reached a certain age, college came back into play, and she started applying to be let in and to be awarded money to go while keeping up with everything else.  He didn't know how she managed to find the energy to drag him all over creation and keep him discovering new things.
Every now and then she let slip that she wanted to leave the town she felt trapped in, and the people in it, and he could see the desperation in her eyes to do just that.  The stressors he could understand her wanting to leave, but the people...it took a few more hints for him to figure that part out.
Less of a hint.  He had to get her at the right moment, when she finally opened up to him about the part that worried her the most.
He'd appeared in one of his favorite ways--quietly, when he'd simply been walking down the street--and had suddenly been the private audience to the soft piano music being played in the darkened living room.
The happiness he felt to be here again, and to be hearing her music as well, was muffled when he noted the overall tone in the room.
The music was sad, melancholy, depressing, and there wasn't any light in the room to illuminate her or the piano, the curtains on the windows pulled closed, the lights kept off. He approached from behind quietly, a small frown on his face as he came up to inquire what was wrong.
Along the way, his foot crunched a paper, the sound unheard by Y/N because she was focused on the piano and what she was playing, not the rest of the room.  He picked it up to look at it closer, realizing it was part of a stack of papers that looked like those applications she'd been filling out so many of recently.
It wasn't one of the applications, but rather a note--a letter--attached to the top and addressed to her parents.  It was from one of her teachers, and it went on to talk about how the school she wanted to go to had a very low acceptance rate, was very far away and wouldn't have certain financial aid available for her, and how it was a very expensive school.  How she 'shouldn't plan on going to the one school alone, because it was unlikely for her to get in, and even less likely for her to pay for it' and needed to apply for more scholarships and to other schools, yet she refused to apply to more than two schools, and refused to apply for some of the scholarships.
Probably not the only thing bothering her that had her playing in the dark, but it was a good hint.
After putting the paper back into the stack, he stepped a little closer, finally making his presence known by commenting on the mood in the air she'd created.
"So doom and gloom--I'm supposed to be the depressing one," Levi quipped in a flat tone and she whipped around in surprise, banging her knee on the piano in the process and turning back around to clutch at her knee and hiss.
The pain, however, was an excuse to try and hide what he'd already seen.  Tears, freshly falling down her cheeks, and not from hitting her knees.
Levi’s usual closed off demeanor shifted, and he quickly came over to sit beside her on the bench.  She turned her head away from him to hide the tears as she tried to--unsuccessfully--wipe them away without him noticing.
The problem was that as soon as he was sitting beside her, he realized he didn't know what to say--either to get her to talk about it or to comfort her.  He simply sat there awkwardly in silence with her facing off to the side and him facing the piano, both of them unable to talk for some reason.
Hesitantly, unsure if it was the right move but knowing at least it would be something, Levi let his fingers find their way to the right place on the piano, and started to play one of the newer and more difficult pieces she’d taught him recently.  It was melancholy--most of the ones she taught him had a bittersweet edge to it, or at least a part of the song that felt that way--but it felt fitting for the moment, and he thought perhaps the song would prompt her to do something in return.  Maybe she’d play with him.  Maybe she’d start to talk.  That was up to her.
Levi quietly played out the song, focused on hitting the right chords, making sure his arm brushed against hers every now and then in the process when he reached for keys closer to where she was sitting as a way of having some contact with her.  She was silent at first, just listening to him play the song before, about halfway through, she finally reached out with one of her hands to play half the song.  Levi felt a little relief to be getting a response from her, and he let his hand slide over hers as she played half the song for him, feeling her fingers moving below his, able to feel the slight shake in them even though she seemed to be playing the notes steadily.
They continued like that for a while, before Levi started to worry that she might try to use the piano as a distraction rather than an opening to start talking.  As they neared the end of the song, he finally spoke up, cutting right to the heart of the matter.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, fingers still moving over the keys.  She shook her head, keeping her face turned away from him so he couldn’t see her expression.
“It’s nothing.”
“Bullshit.”
“It really is.  It’s stupid, and it doesn’t matter in the long run, anyway.”
“If that was true, you wouldn’t have been crying.”
She sighed, hitting one of the notes with more force than necessary and letting her hand drop away from the piano just short of the end of the song.  Levi stopped playing as well, sitting quietly on the bench and gazing patiently at her back as he waited for her to start speaking.
“It’s just...everything going on, you know?  I mean, I took it all on myself, I really shouldn’t complain, and I wouldn’t, but it gets so much...harder when...Gah...I hate people…”
Her voice shook, and she sniffled rather loudly, rubbing her left eye with her palm.  Suddenly, Levi realized that besides the one time he’d helped her find her home when she’d run away...he didn’t think he’d seen her cry so openly around him.  He reached out to gently touch her shoulder, and a shudder seemed to go through her at the contact, and she turned on the piano bench so that she could face him, burying her face in his chest as a small, hiccupped sob escaping her as she curled up against him.  He was taken aback for a moment, but after feeling his heart ache and feeling how she was clutching at the fabric of his shirt, he gently draped an arm around her shoulders, letting his other hand gently touch her shoulder in a loose hug.
“Are people picking on you again?” Levi asked, digging for information to try and figure out what was wrong so he could figure out how to properly help her.  She gave a bitter laugh at his question, a sound that seemed strange coming from her.
“I think I’d prefer getting beaten up like back then to this bullshit,” she said bitterly, and Levi’s eyebrows raised.  He was pretty sure that was the first time he’d heard her swear, too.  “No, I...I’ve always kinda been an outcast, at school...which I guess I got used to it...somewhat...but it’s gotten really hard this year.  I’ve been working my ass of, and...and it just gets that much harder when you’re constantly hearing people call you lazy, and then you come home to hear the exact same thing as if you’re not spending every hour trying so hard...and then every time you accomplish something, everyone’s back there talking about how it's not going to matter anyway.”
She adopted a voice clearly meant to mimic everyone else, a bitter and cutting edge to her tone even with how her voice was muffled in his chest.  “Like you’re actually going to get accepted by any colleges or scholarships, you never get anything in on time, you’re always being told to get things in or they’ll be late, always turning it in last minute, you’re so lazy you never get anything done or doing what you’re supposed to be doing, like you’ll have enough scholarships or meet the deadlines for the places you want to go.  Oh, you got accepted by that college?  Well it’s not like you’ll ever be able to actually pay for it.  Oh, well if you do go to this college you want, you’ll just crash and burn anyway--you’re so straight laced I bet you’re that kid that goes crazy with freedom in college and drops out.  You’ve never had a boyfriend or had that many friends, you’re totally going to be that crazy cat lady with forty cats and no friends.  You can’t afford to go out for an hour, you have to stay home and get all these applications done, plus your homework, and don’t forget stuff for bible study every morning, and your practices, and yearbook, and everything else under the damn sun you’re not allowed to mess up in cause you have to be the perfect child that’s the first to go to college, you have to get the perfect cushy, high paying job, perfect grades, perfect activities, don’t get snippy with me if you’re feeling stressed it’s all your fault because you’re being lazy and not doing the work like you’re supposed to, you keep screwing around.  You’re tired?  Same thing applies--you don’t know tired, you’re just lazy and you can’t manage your time.  If you’re feeling so stretched thin, then you should just drop something.  But not this, or that, I don’t care if you don’t think this helps, don’t drop it either.  Oh, you’re not actually allowed to drop anything, just make it all work.”
Her grip tightened on him as she spoke, and he wasn’t sure if the trembling in her body was from sobs or rage with how bitter her voice seemed to sound despite the wobble from tears or the occasional hiccup of a sob.  He didn’t interrupt with any of his thoughts, he simply let her rant and rave to him, let her vent, because clearly she needed to.
“I know it shouldn’t matter.  I shouldn’t care about what they have to say.  It's the same people who make sure anything I like is uncool schoolwide as soon as they know I like it, who thought it would be so...fucking funny to make me go to homecoming with the kid who treated me like a disease and wouldn’t even touch my arm the whole time, the same kid who told me to go kill myself in class and people just fucking laughed and the teacher didn’t even blink even though she was sitting right there.  I shouldn’t give a damn about what they have to say, but after so long of hearing it, no matter how thick of a skin I think I’ve built up it still...it still gets to me, and I’m just...I’m just so tired…”
She sagged against him, like some of the fight left her after she finished speaking, curling up in his arms like a baby rabbit seeking shelter, like there was a fox right outside the burrow waiting to devour it and it knew it couldn’t run from it.  Levi had stiffened at the mention of the kid who’d told her to kill herself, his expression darkening as he got a better perspective of what her life was like at school, something he now realized he’d never heard about the social side of, only ever her schoolwork and the subjects she studied.  Never the people.
Now he knew why.  He just wished she would have said something sooner.  Did she really think that just because she wasn’t getting beat up that it wasn’t still a real problem?  If it was getting this bad…
She stayed slumped in his arms for several long moments, Levi gently rubbing her back to try and soothe her as he waited for her to regain her composure, feeling like she still had more to say and not wanting to interrupt her while he quietly absorbed information.  Then, abruptly, she sucked in a long breath and pulled away, arm rubbing angrily at her eyes with a fierce frown on her face.
“It’s still nothing, though,” she said as she got to her feet to start an aggravated pace, and Levi was just about to argue that yes, it was, after that long rant that had driven her to cursing and tears, but she was still talking, and she had a determined venom in her voice as she spoke.  “It’s nothing, because I’m not going to let it turn into something.  I don’t care if its spite driving me right now, but I swear I’m going to prove every last one of them wrong and--and--and break out of the fucking cage everyone keeps trying to put me in.  Even my mom.  I love her, but she’s just as bad, always demanding I be so fucking perfect and do what she wants instead of what I want.  But even she’s trying to pin me down, she keeps pushing for me to go to these colleges nearby, or to stay in the area, or to settle for something else even though what I want to do...yeah, its difficult, it's a high bar, and it’s going to take me really far away, but it’s my life, it’s my choice.  And I’m going to prove every last fucking one of them wrong and get the hell out of here and make something of myself.”
She finished with a huff, having worked herself up in her rant, turning to look at him with slightly flushed cheeks, looking expectantly at him for some kind of reply now that she was finished and he’d been silent for so long.  It wasn’t like he had the words to say, though--he wasn’t good at words, and she’d just dumped a lot of information on him.
“All those bad words.  I think I’m a shitty influence on you.”
She was taken aback for a moment, staring at him for a second before she snorted in surprise, the tension slowly draining from her shoulders and the faintest smile coming across her face.  She approached the bench once more, sitting beside him with the blush coloring her cheeks and her hands locked tightly together.
“You’re the only real friend I’ve had, no matter where I’ve gone.  You’ve always been here for me.  I don’t think I tell you enough that I’m really thankful to have you.  I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t.”
Her words were softly spoken, and she stayed close to him the entire time, even if her embarrassment didn’t allow her to look him in the eyes.  And to hear her say it aloud to him...it settled doubts he might have had that he wouldn’t have voiced otherwise, helped put some of the restlessness inside him at ease.
Levi looked at the piano in front of him, grasping the handles for the key lid and lowering it over the piano keys.  “You’ll make it,” he said with affirmed certainty.  “You’re tougher than you think.  You’ve made it this far, haven’t you?  What’s a little further?”
He looked over at her to catch her smiling warmly at him, a twinkle in her eyes, and he felt his heart soften in the face of that expression.  Once the key lid was in place, he gently touched her shoulder to give her a playful shove like she tended to do for him.
“You need a break.  I’m here.  What should we do?”
She heaved a sigh, looking away for a moment and chewing on her lip as she considered what was possibly an endless list of possibilities.  “It’s gonna start getting colder soon...so it should be something we won’t be able to do once winter settles in...I think it’ll be clear skies tonight…”  She turned to face him, that sparkle in her eyes again and a smile on her face.  “I know what we’re going to do.  Come on, we’ve got a bit of a drive to make first,” she said excitedly, getting up off the bench and heading to the front door, where she picked up what Levi knew to be her car keys.
Levi got up to follow her, wondering to himself where they were going now, and how far of a drive it would be.  What in-town activity would they be carrying out today?
They got into her car, Levi looking up to see the night sky as he opened the passenger side door and got inside, Y/N already starting up the car before he even shut the door and driving the car out of town and into open country.  They drove in silence for several minutes, Levi sneaking peaks at Y/N the entire time, mulling over the stress she was under and her confession in the other room.
He would have beat the shit out of a few people by now if he was there, but he never showed up when she was in school, always after.  He was never around when she needed him around, which meant that it was something she had to deal with on her own.
It was like he’d said, though.  She was stronger than she thought.  He’d seen the determination and the fire in her eyes before.  She would make it through.  And she would reach her goals.  Even if she had to get herself through on spite right now.
He still wanted to get his hands on that one individual in particular…but she hadn’t even given him a name.
Y/N suddenly took a turn onto a dirt road that went so far into a wheat field, turning off her lights--which immediately caught Levi’s attention--before she brought the car to a stop and shut all the lights off, reaching into the back to grab a blanket before she opened the door.
“We’re actually not supposed to be here--it’s private property--but we should be fine so long as we’re gone before dawn,” she said with a spark of rebellion in her eyes.
Good.  It sounded like she needed to break some rules and get outside some of the restrictions around her for a while.
Getting out of the car, Levi spoke up in a low voice, looking around at the field around him and noting that the hay didn’t reach high enough to cover the car.  There was a corn field behind them that would have been high enough to cover the car, but for some reason they’d parked here.  “What are we doing out here?”
Y/N got on the hood of her car carefully, scooting back until she could lean back to lie on the windshield with her legs stretched out in front of her.  She gestured for him to come up onto the hood instead of responding, waiting until he’d crawled up with a sigh before she threw the blanket over both of them.
As soon as he leaned back, he understood why they were here.  Leaning back on the hood of her car, he had a clear, unobstructed view of the night sky.  Where the corn would have reached high enough it could have obstructed the view somewhat, the wheat was low enough it didn’t creep into his line of sight for the sky.  It was just pure...open sky.  And out here, where there were no lights from town, just nature, the stars shone brilliantly in stunning detail, the only light that could have ‘affected’ the view being the moonlight itself.  But it was still a dazzling display above him, and all around there was the soft rustle of wind through the wheat fields, crickets, the occasional howl from coyotes in the distance--just nature, fresh air, the sky laid out endlessly in front of them…
Y/N shifted onto her side, curling up next to him with a comfortable sigh.  “I know you live underground so...I figured it’s about time we went stargazing.  I’m surprised we haven’t yet.”
Levi turned his head enough to look at her, noting that she was looking at him far more than the stars, probably gauging his reaction.  For her, this was something she saw quite frequently, so maybe his reaction to it was more interesting to her.  Still, knowing she’d chosen this because she knew about where he lived, how it wasn’t an everyday sight for him, how this was a sight that was denied to him…
Much like earlier, he put his arm around her instead of choosing to respond with words, pulling her a little closer to him as a way to show her his gratitude, that this did, in fact, mean something to him, and he appreciated her gesture.  She seemed to understand, that blush returning to her cheeks as she buried her face in his chest and pulled the blanket tighter around them as if that could hide her reaction and make it seem like she was just getting warm.
Knowing she drove them out here so they could see the stars, that her idea of an escape was to show him something that he rarely got to have and to sit in silence with him for however long they wanted to…
He cared about her.  Deeply.  That had never been in question.  From the moment she’d built that safe place for him--an image called to mind as he looked up at the stars unobstructed much like he had once looked up at them from the nest she’d created for him through the window of the tiny wooden playhouse--he had a soft spot in his heart for her.  And over the years, she just burrowed deeper and deeper, that flickering flame growing stronger, the warmth getting more intense.  She made him happy--made him feel like he belonged, even if he flickered in and out of the world.  Even though he didn’t get to stay, he was still so grateful to have a chance to be part of her life, to know her, to spend time with her.  She was a safe place for him, a place where he didn’t have to keep his guard up, where he could relax and just...be.  All these things he felt for her, and one thing that had held him back recently had been a concern that she might not feel the same way.
Now, lying side by side and looking up at the stars, knowing she’d done it for him and that this moment between them was what she considered an escape from her problems, that he might be as much of her escape as she was his...it gave him the sense that maybe, just maybe, she might care for him, too.
He didn’t say anything, though, not yet.  Right now, he just wanted to enjoy this as long as it lasted, with her in his arms lying next to him--eventually falling asleep, which he didn’t disrupt considering he now knew how much she needed it--gazing up at the stars in relative silence.
Sometime after she fell asleep, Levi looked down at her, the arm that had been wrapped around her all this time moving just slightly so his hand could reach into her hair, giving it a few soft, gentle strokes.
“Stay with me...I don’t want this to end…” he murmured softly for only him to hear, the stars and moon his only witness as he breathed her in for a moment before lying back down to gaze up at the sky, for once grateful to his insomnia to allow him to stay awake and simply bask in the simplistic beauty of the moment.
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*Reader’s POV*
At long last, Levi finally blipped into your world during winter, when there was snow on the ground.  You had been waiting years to be able to show him snow for the first time, to get to see his first experience with snow, share it with him…
As soon as you saw him appear in your room, you immediately dropped the pen you were using to write neatly on your scholarship applications and leapt to your feet, grinning widely at him and not even giving him a chance to orient himself in your world before you had your arm hooked around his and you were leading him down the stairs to the front door, where you started throwing winter clothes at him.
"Oh my God you're actually here, your timing is perfect cause right now--well, just put it all on, I don't want to spoil the surprise!" You squealed excitedly, yanking on a hat, gloves, a coat, simply draping the scarf loosely over your neck without wrapping it.  You tried to jump in and help Levi get dressed as well so he would move faster, but that only made him grumpy.
"I've got it--I can dress myself, I don't need you to do it for me," he grumbled, shrugging on the flannel coat you'd grabbed for him.  It was actually one of your stepfather's many coats, and it utterly dwarfed Levi...considering your stepfather was in the six foot range in height, and Levi…
Well, at least he would be well covered and warm.
Once Levi was well bundled and looking at you with a mixture of impatience and expectancy, you happily flung open the door, about to bound outside before you reminded yourself it was slick outside and you needed to watch your step.  You checked yourself, stepping around the icy spots outside your door and hanging back to shut the door so Levi could just focus on the experience.
It was snowing outside.  Not only that, but it had been snowing for the past few days, and there was a white blanket over the world at least a foot deep, with icicles hanging from the roof edge and ice patches hidden under the snow making the pathways treacherous.
Levi paused on the porch once he could see what the outside world looked like, with you sliding discreetly behind him to shut the door before too much heat got out of the house, quietly creeping around to his other side to watch him as he walked with slightly widened eyes to the edge of the covered porch, looking at the icicles and reaching out to touch one gingerly, head peeking out from the cover of the porch to look up at the white flurries falling from the sky.  His breath fogged in front of him, making him pull back for a second before he looked over at you, watching him excitedly on the porch.
"Snow," he said simply, and you nodded at him exuberantly.  You reached out to take his hand, stepping out into the snow and noting how high up to his legs he sank into the snow as he followed behind.  You didn't keep a hold of his hand, only grasping it long enough to get him to follow before letting go and allowing him to comfortably walk beside you.
"There's so many things to do and see--its cold, and I honestly hate the cold, but staying warm shouldn't be too much of a problem," you said with a glint in your eyes.  You knew the perfect place for sledding, knew somewhere the snow was particularly thick that would serve well for snowmen and snow forts and snowball fights.  Maybe it was little kid stuff, but Levi needed the chance to cut loose and be a kid, especially since he never had the snow experience when he was actually a little kid.  You might have to spend a bit of money, but you were fine with that, too, your purse slung firmly over your shoulders.  You could get a good sled at a nearby store, you could afford some coffee to warm back up and restore some energy after some time outside, and, you had some money for your thoughts on a grand finale for the night.
You'd been scheming this day ever since realizing Levi hadn't seen snow yet, and you were praying he was going to be able to stay for all of it.
"Watch your step--there's ice hidden under the snow on the sidewalks because it's been so cold, so just...be mindful," you warned him, walking with arms out at your side and methodically placed footsteps for a few moments.  "I always hate walking in fresh snow--everything looks so clean and pure and pretty that I feel like I'm ruining a beautiful snapshot of nature.  Though, we kinda have to walk in it to get where we're going," you said with a guilty note in your voice.
"Couldn't we just take your car?" Levi asked, and you noticed his gaze was now roving over the unblemished patches of snow around you, how it really did seem like a thick and pure blanket fallen over the world.
"Well, this is the more fun, scenic route.  Plus it's kinda dangerous to drive in weather like this before they've cleared the roads, especially with the ice underneath.
You could see that his cheeks and his nose were already starting to turn red, and that he'd mimicked how you had your scarf on.  Not wanting him to catch a cold--especially because you knew proper medicine was more of a luxury where he lived--you reached over and wrapped the scarf around his face, causing him to pause and give you a blank stare.  You coughed, hoping your blush could be passed off as a result of the cold like him.
"Besides, I want to show you this place in the forest.  One of my favorite things about when it's cold and snowy like this is what it sometimes does to the plants," you said as if you hadn't just wrapped the scarf around his face, continuing forwards and trudging through the snow in the direction of the nearby park that had the forest trail.
"Why do I feel like you've got this whole thing planned out?"
"Because I do.  I've been waiting for you to show up on a snow day for what feels like forever.  I can think of six things I want to try and fit into this one day--six!" You shrugged, as if it was still the most casual thing in the world, attempting to adopt his usual indifferent attitude to tease him a bit.  "Course, three things we can do at the park alone, so, no big deal," you said with a sniff, flashing him a mischievous smile a heartbeat later.
"And those things are…?"
"Well, we're gonna look at something.  Then we're gonna build something.  And then we're gonna do something."
Levi snorted.  "So informative."
"What? I was more specific:  looking, building, doing," you said with a pout before you pointed up at the park just ahead of you.  "Besides, we're practically here."
The park itself wasn't the pristine picture the rest of the snowy fields seemed to be--there were remnants of snow sculptures and forts, a few shakily made snowmen, footprints all over the place and snow splattered along the side of equipment.  The two of you trudged past that, though, and into the forest that was far less disturbed.  No one wanted to be hiking in this weather, except you two crazy teenagers, apparently.
Levi’s fingers brushed against a bush, and looking back you could see that some of the branches and leaves were encapsulated in ice.
"Almost, but I'm looking for something specific," you said cryptically.  There was this one tree at a fork in the forest path that you knew would look gorgeous trapped in ice like that, so you were keeping hush hush about it, leading the two of you deeper into the woods like you were the villain in a child's fairytale.
The crunch of snow and the blowing of the wind was the only sound, the icy air cutting at your lungs and making your breathing a little heavier than normal as you trudged uphill, frustrated to hear that Levi didn't seem to be struggling behind you.  You didn't understand how, but he appeared to be unbothered by the physical strain, at least for now.
After several minutes of hiking where Levi admired the wintery scenery around the two of you and you navigating, you finally came to your tree.
It was a weeping willow, placed by human hands at the fork in the path for aesthetic scenery purposes.  But right now, with the ice covering every branch and leaf in perfect, unclouded clarity like it had been entrapped in glass, branches swaying just slightly in the breeze…
It looked gorgeous.
"My favorite thing about winter isn't all the activities--its how the ice freezes over the trees.  I think it's beautiful," you said pensively, your hand cupping beneath some of the willow strands and letting the iced over, draped branches slip through your fingers.  "It's like they're frozen in time…"
Levi stood a few feet back, hands in his pockets, breath puffing steadily in front of him as he looked up at the magnificent tree that was 'frozen in time,' his gaze returning to you in time to see you disappearing behind a thick curtain of the iced over branches and leaves.  While he couldn't see you, you crouched down and tried to make a snowball as fast as you could, catching a glimpse of him moving to join you under the tree, which caused you to giggle and take a step or two back, your hastily made snowball hidden behind your back.
As soon as he stepped into the shelter of the tree, you practically slapped the snowball into his neck with the close range you were at, acting before you could doubt yourself, shrieking maniacally as your dipped your hand into the snow for another one, heart pounding at what you'd just initiated.
"What the f--"
"SNOWBALL FIGHT!" you shrieked, tossing another one at him that splattered harmlessly against his side.  You attempted to flee, trying to scoop up more snow as you darted out from under the willow, whipping around to see Levi already had one in his hand.  You flung instinctively, the shot sailing harmlessly over his shoulder and causing you to shriek again as he tossed his at you in retaliation, the snowball hitting squarely in the center of your chest.
"You brat!"
"I got you, admit it!  Take tha--shit!"
"Like this is a fight you can win!"
"I missed again?  Wait, fuck, no, stop, I'm a terrible shot--ack!"
"You asked for it!"
"I've made a terrible mistake, have mercy--EEK!"
"HAH!"
"I surrender, uncle, uncle, I give, stop!"
The snowball fight had quickly turned into a snowball execution, Levi pelting you with snowballs with that ridiculous speed and wicked aim of his while your shots kept going wide and missing him while you tried in vain to run from him, ending with you laughing and shrieking, hunched over and taking a few more snowballs before Levi finally stopped.  You peeked your head up warily...and he crushed one last snowball atop your head, making you do a cold shiver dance as snow slipped down inside your shirt.
"There...I think that's a lesson learned," Levi was saying smugly, watching you do the cold dance with a smirk on his face.  He looked flushed though--you doubted from exertion, most likely from the cold.
"How about we do something less competitive--like make a snowman?  At least one?  And then we can go sledding.  We can take a break after that, I know a coffee shot that should still be open."
"As long as you don't make any more sad excuses at that snowball assault," Levi teased you, and you pouted, which only made him chuckle.
He was smiling and laughing, though.  And seeing snow for the first time.  This day was already a win for you. Now you just needed to try and get to the end of your list of what you wanted to try with him before he went back.  Who knew if the snow would still be here when he came back again?
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The snowman building and the sledding didn't last as long as you might have thought they would.  The snowman you two made by the willow tree was more of a monument to the fact the two of you had been there, complete with you wrapping your scarf around the snowman's 'neck' as a finishing touch, since it wasn't doing much in the way of warming you up draped loosely around your neck like that.
The sledding had been fun at first, trying desperately to guide the inflatable inner tube you'd bought at the nearest store down a steep hill before trudging all the way back up got tiring fast for you.  The final straw, though, had come when you made a ramp from the snow, managed to hit it on your way down, and then promptly fell off the inner tube midair, causing you and Levi to go flying in different directions through the air with no soft landings.  You were dazed after that, and Levi declared it the end of the sledding part of the day, demanding you move on to the next thing.  Besides, it was getting dark, so you were running out of time to do what you wanted to.
Little did he know…
After your annihilation with the sled, you'd guided Levi towards a coffee shop while nursing an ache in your head and shoulders where you'd slammed your body against the ground, still a little dazed.  You were both flushed from the cold and tired at this point, so the burst of warm air was extremely refreshing.
Levi looked around the little shop with a critical eye while you stomped snow off at the entrance mat, rubbing your hands together for added warmth.  "You haven't had coffee before, have you?"
"Never heard of it."
You gasped dramatically.  "You don't have coffee where you're from?  Oh the humanity!"  He rolled his eyes at your antics, and you walked forward towards the counter.  "Well, it's a hot drink, kind of like hot chocolate or tea...but also much different.  Its good for waking up or staying warm, and it can be made in all sorts of different ways.  In fact, what kind of stuff do you usually drink?  Besides water?"
Levi shrugged.  "Tea."
"Any kind of tea in particular?  Herbal, black, white, green, fruit?  Do you add lemon, or sugar, or milk, or anything like that?"
Levi looked away, like something you'd said bothered him, though you couldn't pinpoint what.  "Plain.  I drink my tea plain.  I do prefer black tea, when I can get it."
"Okay, black tea...strong, bold, dark, maybe with a bit of a nutty taste or malty...I know espresso is a different beast, but you might want something with more espresso...maybe a nut flavoring to help balance out the bitter without getting too sweet...You're not big on sweet things, right?"
Levi shook his head.  "I don't get many sweet things where I live."
You nodded, chewing your lip.  "Okay, so...toffee nut might be too sweet, so...either a hazelnut latte with an extra shot of espresso, or a hazelnut americano."
"What's the difference?"
"One is made with milk, the other with hot water.  I mean, maybe if you were more used to coffee I'd say go with the americano, cause there's not many other flavors to block out the overpowering taste of the espresso, but the latte I feel like has more that balances it all out."
"I didn't realize picking a damn drink was such a project."
"Like you don't fuss over your tea with the leaves and water temperature and extra flavorings."
"...Tch."
"But also the americano might be closer to tea--"
"Just get me the damn latte and be done with it," he groaned, cutting you off before you could spiral further in these circles.
"Fine, fine, go find a table for us and I'll get the coffees," you said in a semi defensive voice that had the hint of a laugh at the end with how exasperated he sounded.  He wandered off towards the back to a two person table by the window, taking the seat with his back against the wall so he could see the whole room and you as you went to the counter, ordering his hazelnut latte and your own coffee, as well as two fresh rolls.  You waited patiently for your order, which didn't take too long because there weren't many people out and about right now in this weather--plus, this was officially dark enough the streetlights were turning on.
Taking the seat across from him, you placed the latte in front of him and reached into the little bag you brought with you, breaking apart the two rolls and holding one out to him.  “Here--I figured something to actually eat would be good, too,” you said cheerfully.
For some reason, Levi hesitated for a brief second, fingers hovering over the roll before starting to retract, eyes a little unfocused before he took the roll from you.  Strange, why that was a thing, but you brushed it off in favor of drinking from your cup of chosen coffee, cupping both hands around the cup to help you warm up.
“We can warm up in here for a while before heading back outside.  It’s only going to get colder as night settles in.”
“This is one of those six things you wanted to do, right?  Get coffee?” Levi asked, hands on the cup he had yet to drink from, allowing it to warm up his bare fingers.  Actually, looking at the window you could see some spots on the window where condensation had been wiped away on the inside, along the edge of the frost that was creeping along the outside of the window.  Had he been tracing the ice while he waited for you?
“It is, yeah.”
“It’s going to be dark, then, by the time we get to the sixth thing.  Was that intentional?”
You nodded.  “There’ll be far less people there if we go later when it’s dark out.  Plus, I think it’ll be prettier.”
“Are you going to tell me what the last thing is?”
“Nope.  You’ll have to wait and see.”
Levi scowled, finally taking a sip from the coffee you’d chosen for him.  He made a face at the first taste, and for a moment, you were worried he wasn’t going to like it and would set it right back down.  He took another sip, though, and he wasn’t neglecting the cup.  He didn’t seem to think it was the best thing in the world, but at least he was drinking it.
He was probably going to stick to tea, though, based on that expression.
“Well, what do you think so far?” you asked him after the two of you sat in silence for several minutes, nursing your coffees and letting yourselves warm up while you nibbled on your respective bread rolls.
“About the snow?”  When you didn’t correct him, he looked back outside the window.  It was still snowing, but much lighter than it had been before--like light flurries, or something out of a Christmas movie.  The snowflakes that hit the window evaporated almost instantly, revealing it had turned into the kind of snow that didn’t stick.  “It’s nice.”
You gave a pleased smile and took another sip from your cup, glad that so far your little endeavor to make snow and winter a positive experience for him had worked, despite the little hiccups along the way like falling off the sled and coffee apparently not being his thing.  At least he’d been willing to give it a try, though.
For the most part, the two of you sat in companionable silence, Levi asking the occasional question about the piano and what you were learning or pieces he was learning, and even giving you a tentative question about how the whole college thing was panning out.  It was still stressful, and as you’d said before, your...situation, or rather the people around you, were only making it so much harder for you and really getting under your skin about it all.  But Levi’s words from last time were something you were clinging to in order to help you push through these last few months before you would graduate high school and you could finally get out of here.
Just another one of the many reasons you were glad to have him in your life.  You wished he could stay with you, that you could keep him here.  His life in his world didn’t sound pleasant at all, and you knew he’d already been through some dark things.  Maybe if he was here, he could have a better life, things would be easier for him.
And...and maybe he’d choose to spend it with you.
You were blushing at the thought, and you panicked slightly when you remembered you weren’t outside, you were warm inside, and there was no biting cold to blame on the flush in your cheeks.  Finishing the cup of coffee with a rather painful swallow, you started gathering up your things, glancing out the window to see the sun had fully set and darkness had taken over the sky.
“We should probably get going.  Yeah, night might be the better time to go, but if we wait too long you might blip back, or they might close, so…” you said quickly, getting to your feet and tucking hair into your hat as a way to hide the fact that you were rubbing your cheeks in a weird hope that it would make the flush go away, or maybe give you an excuse.  Levi was still giving you an odd look, though, his eyebrows raised, but he got up without commenting on the blush.
Aw jeez, what if he saw, though?  He was so damn observant.  And what if he already knew?  What if he already knew that you’d been sneaking glances of him the past year or so that he’d come to visit you?  What if he knew you were starting to look for excuses to reach out and touch him, even for a moment?  What if he knew that part of the reason you buried your face in his chest whenever you two hugged or were curled close together--whether it was on the hood of a car or on the couch watching a show--was to hide the furious burn in your cheeks, and to let you simply breathe him in for a few moments?  What if he knew that the times that he tended to blip through into your world was when you wanted nothing more than to be around him, when you desperately wanted a friend and needed someone there to be a steady presence to help you get back on your feet, or provide a comfort that didn’t feel invasive or demanding on how you should bounce back or how you should be feeling.  What if he knew your heart had started skipping a beat when he looked at you like that with those sharp steel blue eyes, his hair falling in his face…
Ah, snap out of it, stop stop stop!  You’re friends!  Who knows if he even thinks of you that way, just...uhg, this isn’t about you, this is about him, this is his first snow, just...just focus on that right now, you can puzzle over your feelings after he’s left alone in bed throwing out your frustrated complaints about how you don’t know how to talk to people you like into your pillow like you usually do.  Later.  After this.  Focus, the night’s almost over, and he probably won’t be here much longer today, anyway.
Having given yourself a mental berating over the direction of your thoughts, you focused back on the present with a quick huff, straightening up and leading the charge back out into the cold snow, Levi walking leisurely at your side as usual.  It was a longer walk than any you’d done so far, and you were taking him in a direction that you hadn’t taken him before.  He wasn’t around a lot in the winter time, obviously, so he didn’t get to see this little hobby of yours.  Well, maybe not even a hobby, more like a winter pastime.  You were far from a professional or enthusiast.  It was just something you liked to do on occasion when it was cold, and you were hoping that it was something that he would find enjoyable as well.
It was a simple setup, one that matched the smaller town you were in, with a regular clear plastic half-wall lining the edge, plain Christmas lights crisscrossing over the walled off area several feet into the air and anchored to the poles along the outside, or to the small booth that served as the entrance fee area and the place to get rental skates, if there were enough.  Benches lined the outside of the wall, places for spectators to watch or people to put on their ice skates, and the small outdoor ice rink itself was well lit, the ice appearing to glitter between the starlight, Christmas lights, and the lightly falling snow.
There were a few people, but since it was getting dark and the weather was getting colder--it was already below freezing--most people had left or were in the process of leaving as you went to the booth, paying the entrance fee for two teenagers and getting your shoe size, then having an awkward few moments where you got to try and figure out what shoe size Levi was before you finally managed to get a pair that looked like it would fit him, passing his ice skates to him even though you still hadn’t given him an explanation about what you were doing.
You sat down together on a bench near one of the entrances to the rink, and Levi followed suit when you started taking off your shoes and putting the ice skates on in turn.
“Considering you’ve been stupidly good at anything like this so far, I sort of expect you to get the hang of this fairly quickly, but...this is called ice skating,” you explained in a low tone so no one would hear you explaining what this was to him.  “It’s all about balance and such--balance on the blades on your feet, center of balance, that kind of thing.  It might take a bit to get used to, but once you do, you’ll be skating along in no time.  It's something I like to do in the winter, and I thought you might enjoy it, too.”
You finished strapping the skates on, getting to your feet and taking a few careful steps since you were still on concrete until you were standing in front of Levi, holding your hands out for him to take.  “Here--just focus on standing and getting used to balancing on the blades, first,” you told him, pulling him up to his feet and letting him stand in front of you for a few moments, holding tightly to his hands as he wobbled slightly, feet moving from side to side experimentally, picking up one foot and attempting to keep his balance on the other, simply feeling it out for a few seconds while you held him securely in place.
His hands are warm...rough and calloused...but warm...
After he seemed to get his balance, you walked backwards to bring Levi forwards into the ice rink, making sure he kept his balance despite the awkward steps until you reached the smooth ice that the skates were meant for.  The slicing sound of the skate blade against the ice felt right to your ears, and you gave Levi a moment to adjust to the terrain, shifting so that you were standing beside him on the ice instead of in front of him, holding one of his hands.
The remaining skating group seemed to decide they didn’t want to risk crashing into the new skater in the small rink and left, meaning it was just the two of you in the rink as you taught Levi how to push off with the blades, how to turn, how to stop without face planting into the ice.  It was much faster than most people learned, but it was still slower than you expected.  He just seemed to be a natural at so many things, it was almost weird watching him have to progress through figuring out how to ice skate.
Then again, you were teaching him piano, as well, so it wasn’t entirely something new.  Maybe it was just the fact he always seemed to be magically gifted when it came to anything physical or something that had to do with aim, accuracy, speed…
With just the two of you, the rink was pretty quiet.  There were your voices, of course, with you encouraging him and explaining what you showed him on how to do this or that on the skates, how to speed up and slow down, how to do a hard and sudden stop (again, without face planting).  Levi occasionally made a few quips or grumbles, though none of it was mean spirited.  He seemed focused on what you were showing him, and he was learning it fairly quickly.  You might even dare to say he was having fun.
The other sounds were the slicing of your skates against the ice, and the music playing over loudspeakers on the poles for patrons to skate to if they wanted to.  The man running the booth wasn’t even paying attention to the two of you, he was watching tv on a tiny screen you could barely see through the window in the booth, meaning that for now, it was just the two of you, despite the normally public setting.
Once Levi had his balance and he was able to skate on his own, namely in a circle, considering you hadn’t taught him any tricks yet since you were rather focused on...just skate, you let his hand go, albeit reluctantly.  Still, it would allow him to get comfortable in the skates and skate on his own without leaning on you like a crutch--and the entire thing would be much more enjoyable for him if he could do it on his own without your help.
Once you were no longer teaching him the basics, you took off to go at your normal speed, skating fairly quickly around the rink, getting the feel for being in the skates again--figure skates, mind you.  You liked trying to pull off tricks, and you liked trying to time them to the music.  You weren’t an Olympic figure skater, but you could do some basic tricks.  Not only was it something that you liked doing and that gave you a degree of accomplishment, but it was also a moment to let yourself shine and show off a bit around Levi.
Closing your eyes, you simply felt the movement, the feel of the breeze created by your movement against your face, gravity acting on your body as you leaned this way or that for a turn.  You listened to the music, getting a feel for the beat and the pace before you started adjusting to try and match the music.  When the beat dropped, you attempted a leap and spin--just a quick one, landing a little shakily because it had been a while since you’d done this, but still sticking the landing for the most part.  Smiling slightly to yourself, you did it again with the next beat drop, the landing going much smoother.  You did a few simple movements as well as a few balancing attempts--skating on one foot was a little tricky and required quite a bit of balance, but you could do it--not that you let your foot go too far off the ground--you weren’t trying to form two right angles with your legs and upper body, you had a slight fear of losing your balance forward and causing a bad accident trying to pull that off.  It was simple leg up stuff that you tried.  And as long as you were paying attention, eyes open and alert to your surroundings, you could skate backwards, too--which you did.  It was at that point that you turned to see Levi watching you while you were skating, an intensity in his expression you hadn’t been expecting.  You blushed slightly to catch him staring at you, then gave him a smile, a wave, and you turned back around to do a nonchalant figure eight down the center, cutting across to the other side, doing a little spin before you came to skate beside him.
“So, what do you think?” you asked him warmly, skating casually beside him for the time being, staying on the inside so you were the one making the tighter turns.
“Think you could show me some of those tricks?” he asked, eyes down and directed towards your skates.  You chuckled, lifting one of your legs just slightly off the ice and unsurprised to find him mirroring your movements.  He was a little wobbly at first, just like when he’d stood up, but he quickly evened out, and he even was able to lean into the turns without crashing.  “I’d say wait for the harder ones like leaping spins until you’re a bit more experienced with the skates.  Maybe just stick to movements and patterns.  Lifting a leg, figure eights, skating backwards, that kind of thing.”
“What, you think that little of me?”
You snorted.  “On the contrary, you have a gift for learning these kinds of things.  I’m actually pretty envious how easily everything seems to come to you.”
“Not everything,” he mumbled, and you thought you saw his cheeks were flushed again.  Though maybe it was the cold.  It was far below freezing at this point, and the two of you were skating around, that freezing air blowing on your exposed skin in an almost cutting manner.  You hadn’t really noticed that much, though.  “Skating backwards shouldn’t be too hard, right?”
While you had expected him to try it, you hadn’t expected him to try it right at that very moment as he was skating beside you.  His hand suddenly grasped your arm, and he did a hard turn like he’d seen you do a few times for your tricks, coming to a slightly wobbly stop--not a full stop, you were both still moving--directly in front of you, one of his feet planted between your legs and the other on the outside.  He was, for the moment, skating backwards.
“It’s gonna be inverted, remember?  So instead of leaning--”
“I know,” he said with a huff, glancing behind him and leaning in a mirror of the direction you moved to turn with the curve of the small rink, his grip on your arm tightening slightly and his gaze down at your feet to make sure you two didn’t get tangled up in one another.
You went around the rink like this once...twice...eventually he stopped looking at the turns behind him or the skates below, his grip on your arm going lower...lower...closer to your hand...his eyes focused solely on you as you strangely enough took over guiding the two of you in nonchalant circles around the rink, feeling that gaze of his making your cheeks burn until, after a turn into the longer stretch of ice, you turned to look at him and ask what he was staring at.
He kissed you.
There was no warning.  You hardly had time to turn your head to face him before his lips were against yours.  His lips were cold because of the weather, maybe a little dry as well, but just like his hands, despite the rough and cold outer appearance, it was...soft.  Hesitant, even, like he might pull away at the first sign of discomfort.  You sucked in a sharp breath in surprise, feeling yourself lean into him, start to put more weight on him as you kissed him back just as hesitantly.
You were both frozen like that for a few moments, cold lips pressed together, timid and unsure about what to do, neither of you having done this before and knowing what came next.  But despite the freezing temperature and dry lips, it was still warm--or, it caused a warm feeling in your chest, a nervous and overeager squirm in your belly as your mind started to work again and all these thoughts started to crash down on you, realization of what this meant, what it could mean, that this was your first kiss, that Levi was kissing you, holding you a little closer to him.  After that initial freeze, you both tried to keep going, the inexperience showing but neither of you wanting to pull away.  If anything, you leaned into him a bit more, lips moving against his in the way you thought they were supposed to, his attempting to follow in kind.  As if to help guide both of you, his hand reached up to brush his knuckles carefully against your cheek, your head tilting slightly to the side in a reaction to the touch.
He felt warm.  He felt comfortable.  He felt inviting--like you belonged here, right here with him, stumbling through figuring out what came next, with him holding tight to you to help keep you steady when you started to shake, and you there to return the favor.
Your heart was pounding in your ears, and you felt breathless, felt your knees start to shake, the skates wobbling beneath you as Levi started to pull away, just as gently as he came in for the kiss.  Your eyes, squeezed shut a few moments ago as if that could help freeze the moment in time like the branches on the willow, started to open.
The presence you were leaning into in front of you suddenly disappeared, and with the amount of weight you’d been putting forward, you lost your balance, falling hard onto the ice with a skidding slide, palms burning against the cold ice as you pushed up onto your elbows, looking around in bewilderment.
And then you just...stayed there.  Just sat there.  Completely alone in the skating rink.  No one around to so much as witness what had happened, or confirmed it was real.
No Levi.
Just you.
Alone.
Alone on the ice before you could even release the breath you’d been holding.
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*Levi’s POV*
Levi opened his eyes not to the chilling air and the bright lights both from the stairs and the strings of lights above, not to Y/N’s face aglow in that light, that blush in her cheeks that she’d kept trying to brush off as the cold despite her lingering touches, no lightly falling snow that left wet drops like dew on her cheeks, nose, and forehead.  He was alone in the silence of the Underground, lying stretched out on a couch with an arm behind his head under a pillow, staring up at the dark ceiling of his current place of residence.
He closed his eyes tightly, trying to will himself back to that moment, feeling a bubbling anger rising in his chest.  Nothing was happening.  He couldn’t smell the fresh air, couldn’t hear the faint music, couldn’t feel her hand against his arm or her lips against his, couldn’t feel the unsteady weight of having those blades under his feet.  He held his breath, eyes shut as tight as he could, trying so damn hard to get back there.
But nothing changed.  Even though there was nowhere he wanted to be more right now.
Levi opened his eyes slightly, peering at the ceiling without really seeing it, hand stretching out in front of him like he was reaching out to that mental image of the girl running ahead of him, just out of reach even as he stretched, tried to grab onto her even as she slipped through his fingers like smoke, far out of his reach.
Levi’s outstretched hand turned into a fist, and he slammed it against the wall the couch was pushed up against, hearing something crack.  “Shit!”
It had been so perfect.  He’d been watching her the whole time, watching her move so gracefully and freely, so confident and just so...so...beautiful.  And she didn’t seem to even realize that was how he saw her.  Didn’t seem to realize just how much she was worth to him.  He couldn’t help himself--he hadn’t even realized what he was doing until his lips were on hers.  But it had still felt so right in that moment, in that single, fleeting, perfect moment.
And now he was right back here.  All over again.  He didn’t even get the chance to open his eyes and see her reaction, and it pissed him off.  Now he had to wait, and he hated the thought.  Anger and frustration bubbled right to the surface as he got up off the couch, unable to sit still as he got to his feet with a dark, sulking look on his face at how robbed he felt right now.
Though there was also a tiny part of him that was scared because he hadn’t been able to see her reaction.  Especially now that he’d just disappeared on her.
He didn’t know how long he could wait--he knew he’d have to, but it had to come eventually.  He’d go back soon, surely, and he could see her then, he could try to figure out what that kiss was to her when he went back, what it meant for them.  Even if part of him was nervous to know how she was going to take it, even if he had no idea what this meant for them, fuck, he had to know, and he couldn’t stand to wait another hour!
What Levi didn’t know at the time...was that it would be years before he ever saw her again.
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Next Chapter---->
(Strikethroughs Couldn’t Be Tagged)
Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn  @humanitys-hottestsoldier  @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea @hauntedhousecat @peaches-and-clouds
Through The Looking Glass Tags:  @artist-bby @kaz2y5-pie @tartheyes @super-peace-fangirl @huntersbunker @nefelimalfoy @soft-levi-girl-blog @honeygivemeachainsaw @regalillegal @sugas-daddy7 @cathyannecookie @chaoticshepardplaid @roayaloveslife @sanrioclit @wvnderfvllyalvne @sparkling-gayyyy @do-not-feed-sugar​
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vs-redemption · 3 years
Note
Hiiii my lovely baby! First of all congrats on your second anniversary of this lovely blog of yours which as her mood never fails me to make me feel welcomed and so incredibly loved! Hope for it and you to keep growing and enjoying the fabulous writings around here for a really long,long time! 😊😘😘 So so incredibly proud of you! So yeah! Of course I couldn't this slip and I hope you don't mind me joining your event with a little request! Can I please get a cotton blanket with Jean Kirschtein? (Yeap, seeking comfort cause much needed these days so in need of a happy bunch of fluff 🤣 contrary to my flamey passion for angst)
Please! Take your time and most of it ENJOY the writing and the event! Love you a bunch! Hugs and kisses!♥️
I was more than ready to write this request since I've been feeling needy for comfort lately as well! Thank you so much for always being a great friend. Your kind words mean the world to me and I hope Jean can give you some peace of mind.
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Stress (Jean Kirstein x Reader)
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Pacing back and forth in your office, you alternate between eyeing the stack of papers on your desk and gripping the roots of your hair stressfully. Your job had been super busy lately and needless to say you were at your wits end with all the work that had piled up. For every report you completed and submitted to your boss, it seemed like two more would be given to you to replace it.
“Let’s see,” you continue wearing a path down into the carpet as you look down at the list in your hands. “This is due tomorrow so I should do that first. I wanted to get started on that other project tonight too, but I’m still waiting to hear back on a few details. I guess I could get a head start on the report I was assigned yesterday… ahhh!” You stop in the middle of one of your trips across the small room and bring your hand up to massage at your temple, emotions starting to get the best of you as tears well up in your eyes. “I’m never going to get all of this done.”
A sudden knock on your door makes you jump in surprise and you hurry to wipe the wetness from your face as your boyfriend peaks his head in with a frown. “You all right in here babe?” He picks up on your distress immediately and comes the rest of the way into the room, closing the door behind him for privacy. “Hey, what’s going on?”
“N-nothing,” you try to keep your voice steady but a wave of concern washes over Jean instantly, his expression softening as he sees the way your bottom lip trembles.
“Doesn’t look like nothing. Come here,” He opens his arms and you rush to hide your face into his chest as the tears finally fall. “Gosh, babe. Seriously, what’s wrong?” One of his large hands comes up to cradle the back of your head while the other rubs slow circles up and down your back.
“I just… I just have so much to do!” You hiccup, “I’ve been working nonstop all day and it doesn’t feel like I’ve made any progress at all. I’m so… so tired.”
“Sounds like it,” Jean presses a kiss to the top of your head before glancing over at the mountain of paperwork on your desk. “I think you overdid it a bit, sweetheart. You ever hear of the saying ‘work smarter, not harder?’ You’ve gotta take breaks every once in a while or you’ll burn yourself out.”
He leans back and brings his hands up to cup your cheeks and smiles once he meets your watery gaze. “I’m sorry you’ve got so much on your plate right now, but if there’s one thing I know it’s that you are more than capable of getting it done. You’re so smart and so dedicated… it’s why they trust you with so much responsibility in the first place.” He sighs and pulls you back into his chest. “Before you can take care of all of this though, you have to take care of yourself. When’s the last time you ate?”
“Jean… I have to get back to this stuff…” You shake your head even though his words had soothed your frazzled nerves a bit already.
“You have to get your mind off it for a while and let yourself recharge,” He retorts while taking your hand and tilting his head towards door. “Just come get a bite to eat and a coffee with me and see how you feel after that, all right?”
His offer was too tempting to refuse. You’d been locked up in your office for hours on end and maybe it really would help you to get some fresh air. So, you find yourself nodding up at him while wiping the last of the tears from your face. He looks relieved at your reply and brings your joined hands up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. You let out a shaky breath and follow him out the door, feeling thankful to have such a kind partner to look after you when you forgot to do it yourself.
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Event Masterlist
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Note
Ok this has probably been thought of before but: the gang plays among us. Bonus points if there is irony (vis a vis cody being imposter Felix dying first (I'm sorry), etc.).
NO WAIT I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS OK
David
-hates being the impostor because he's not very good at lying on the spot
-"guys i got stuck in the vent how do i get out :("
-whenever his fellow impostor is about to get caught, he always does his best to defend them, often accidentally outing himself in the process. he refuses to throw his fellow impostor under the bus for any reason.
-he never sabotages unless he's a ghost. he forgets the button is there
-he's a really good crewmate though. he always stays focused on his tasks, and is great at sniffing out who the impostor is.
-most of the time his accusations will be based on purely gut instinct with little to no solid evidence, but he ends up being right 75% of the time so everyone else just goes with it
-it's for this reason that he usually dies first, especially when felix is the impostor, so that the crewmates will lose their best detective. that, and he makes himself a really easy target by never getting suspicious when people follow him.
-he always continues to do his tasks when he's a ghost.
-always apologizes to the people he kills as the impostor in the lobby once the game ends
-go-to skin is yellow with the astronaut helmet, he also has the alien pet
Felix
-LOVES being the impostor, but is not especially good at it because of his temper. he just enjoys messing with his friends.
-always goes for david or eric first
-not afraid to throw his fellow impostor under the bus to save his own hide
-surprisingly good at lying and gaslighting anyone who sees him being sus
-his favorite impostor teammate is noemi, because they both have the same desire to cause endless problems for their friends.
-will often follow people around or act suspicious even when he's a crewmate just to spread chaos
-people usually suspect him of being impostor first, and he gets wrongfully voted out a lot
-when this happens he refuses to finish his tasks
-'felix is sus' 'no YOU'RE sus fuck off'
-will often refuse to vote until the last second just to force everyone to wait the whole time
-constantly screams at people in the lobby
-if felix and eric are impostors together, felix will call a meeting and out both of them because he hates teaming up with eric and knows there's no way they'll win.
-go-to skin is black with the knife hat. if he joins a game of strangers and someone else has claimed the black and purple skins, he'll leave and find another game. he refuses to play as any other color.
Tobi
-surprisingly good as the impostor. he exudes trustworthy energy and is generally calm and reasonable during discussions, so he tends to always be one of the last suspects.
-people tend to follow him since he seems to know what he's doing, and that's how he gets them
-but once he wins as impostor? he taunts people in the lobby to hell and back. lightheartedly, of course, he just loves to bask in his victory.
-he's usually the host because he's the only one who understands all the settings and who can actually be trusted to not fuck with the character speed. he likes to randomly add a ton of tasks sometimes though, just to be difficult.
-he'll always do his best to defend his fellow impostor, but once they're proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt he'll vote them off.
-the only real giveaway for him being the impostor is if david isn't one of the first to die.
-after he finishes all of his tasks, he'll usually end up following david around.
-does his best to contribute to discussions, but he always seems to be on the exact opposite side of the ship from where all the action is, so he doesn't usually have much to add.
-tends to prioritize finishing tasks over sniffing out impostors, so if he sees someone kill in front of him he'll always finish whatever task he's on before reporting. this is problematic if someone else walks in and sees him.
-he usually ends up just trying to mediate and keep the discussion focused. he's the voice of reason.
-"Guys, stop randomly accusing people. Did anyone actually see anything suspicious?"
-if him and cody are impostors together, it's pretty much a guaranteed win for them. they're the ultimate impostor duo.
-go-to skin is dark green with wolf ears. he also has the blue dog pet.
Cody
-the first time he was impostor, he cried.
-*calls a meeting* "I'm the impostor and I don't want to be"
-it took him forever to get used to the game. when he first started out he'd get stuck on corners and get lost constantly, and it typically led to him being a very easy target for the impostors/being labelled as sus by the crewmates due to his aimless wandering
-but as time went on and he got used to the game, he slowly developed a strategy and became the best impostor out of all of them
-as an impostor, he is DIABOLICAL. i'm talking faking medbay scans, sabotaging left and right, organizing double kills, the whole nine yards. no sleazy impostor play is too low for him. it's horrifying.
-his only weakness as an impostor is that he always feels really bad when he kills someone who has a pet
-he also has somewhat spotty wifi connection in his apartment, so sometimes his game will freeze at the worst possible times, like when he's standing over a body
-he almost never talks during discussions, unless he was the one who found the body. he just follows everyone else's lead. this is another reason why no one ever suspects him, they just straight up forget he's there.
-as a crewmate, he does his best to keep to himself. if he enters a room to do a task and someone else is in there, he'll leave and come back later. it's thanks to this that he's usually among the last to die.
-he's the kind of player to call meetings just to see how many people are dead/yell at people to stop following him
-he is horrible at the emptying garbage task on the airship specifically. it infuriates him. yes i'm projecting
-always goes to watch the security feed once he finishes his tasks
-when he's a ghost, he tends to ignore his unfinished tasks in favor of following the person who killed him around to see what they do.
-his favorite impostor teammate is tobi. he works well with felix too, as well as eric. but that's only because eric is such a loud and obnoxious impostor that he's inadvertently the perfect distraction while cody does all the real work.
-his go-to skin is cyan with the devil horns, and he has the hamster ball pet. he named it hamtaro. he loves it.
Eric
-was allowed to host a game exactly once because he cranked the player speed up to max and everyone hated it
-a very trigger-happy impostor. he'll usually kill someone the second his cooldown runs out, which often results in him getting caught in the act.
-does a stack kill every chance he gets
-throws baseless accusations every which way, regardless of whether he's the impostor or not
-sometimes he'll jokingly out himself as an impostor even when he's not just to confuse people, but it usually ends in him actually getting voted out
-overall, an agent of chaos. it's hard for me to write hcs for him because the way he plays the game varies entirely on how chaotic he's feeling at any given moment.
-on rare occassions when he decides to actually try and not just mess around, he's a scarily good impostor. he can be a master of manipulation when he wants to be, and he has a lot more tricks up his sleeve than he usually lets on.
-often gets voted out or killed early on just for being annoying
-likes to run laps around the lobby
-tries to actually make friends with the people he meets in online games and plugs his youtube channel every chance he gets
-sometimes streams among us on his yt when he plays with the rest of the gang
-go-to skin is blue with the brain slug hat, because 'it kinda looks like a frog'
María
-she really doesn't like being the impostor. it stresses her out a lot and makes her feel kind of guilty.
-also she's just. not very good at it. she accidentally presses the vent/kill buttons a lot when she's meaning to press something else.
-she talks a LOT as a crewmate, but hardly talks at all as an impostor. it's a major giveaway.
-she texts really fast and turned off autocorrect on her phone, so when she sees someone kill, reports the body, and tries to say who did it, it takes her a couple tries to actually send a coherent message, and a lot of the time the impostor accuses her before she can accuse them.
'ITBWHAHDBFDHFY'
'IT WHAS HFIDY'
'CDOY'
'FFS'
'C O D Y'
-she gets lost a lot. despite how much she plays, she can never seem to remember where everything is.
-she's always one of the first to vote. much like david, she likes to throw out baseless accusations, but the only difference is that hers are usually wrong
-the CEO of 'if ____ isn't impostor, vote me next'
-likes to track down one person who she's relatively sure is innocent, and stick to their side like glue
-she also does this when she's an impostor. she picks one crewmate to spare and stick with so they'll think she's innocent and defend her during meetings.
-go-to skin is orange, and she tends to alternate between the angel halo hat, the pumpkin hat, and the flowerpot hat.
Noemí
-tends to take the game VEEERY seriously, and will sometimes give her friends (particularly cody) the silent treatment at school if they 'betray' her in-game
-constantly bugs cody in class to teach her his strategies. he just laughs at her.
-she tries really hard to be sneaky as an impostor and be as manipulative as felix and cody can be, but she tends to raise her voice when she lies and it's a dead giveaway.
-she sabotages as much as she possibly can, and overall spends more time just creating chaos than she does actually killing.
-she's not very good at defending herself, whether she's innocent or not. her defense usually boils down to "so-and-so's sus for saying i'm sus"
-"i was doing tasks!" "okay, what tasks?" "uh-"
-much like tobi and cody, she and felix are a terrifying impostor duo, but their approach is more 'mass murder' than 'manipulation and complex strategy'
-she doesn't like being crewmate, she thinks it's boring and she tends to ignore the tasks she doesn't want to do since, in her mind, there's no way they'll be able to win that way anyway.
-so she usually just wanders around and hangs out in security or admin to sus out the impostor.
-go-to skin is purple with the bat wings hat
Lucía
-hardly ever plays, and when she does she's not very good purely due to inexperience
-everyone tends to go easy on her because of this and she hates it
-really good at pointing out holes in people's alibis
-also surprisingly good at deflecting suspicion away from her
-has the potential to be a fantastic impostor, on par with cody and tobi, but doesn't have the controls down yet
-the type of crewmate to call a meeting just to say she's done with her tasks
-always finishes her tasks when she's a ghost. always.
-go-to skin is white with the pompadour hat because she thinks it's funny
Selena
-doesn't take the game seriously AT ALL
-just fucks around. all the time. never does tasks or kills anyone as the impostor, just walks around the ship following ppl around and doing fuck all
-"selena, what are you doing?" "im having a dance battle with eric in medbay, leave me alone"
-she does still contribute to discussions though. she bases her accusations on super petty things like 'eric is dark blue and i don't like that color' or 'david voted for me last round' but the funny thing is that she's usually right.
-much like eric, gets voted off early on just for being annoying. the two of them just hang out in the ghost chat and laugh at everyone screaming at each other during discussions.
-go-to skin is pink, and she switches between the witch hat and the flower headband
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onlysarah235678 · 3 years
Text
 A Little Bit Part 17
Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x female reader
A/N: Hi there! I hope everyone has survived this week of storms and everything else. ❤️. Angst in the beginning of this one. I’m wrapping things up but we still have some loose ends to tie up….LOOK AT THIS GIF. 😍
Warnings: angst, mentions of domestic abuse, mention of attempted sexual assault (I did the thing with the *** again). 
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You and Billie take Milo on a longer walk than you usually would at this time of day. It was almost dark, so there weren’t many people around making the walk a quiet one. You wouldn’t admit it, but you were dragging your feet a little to buy yourself some time. You intend on keeping your promise to Billie by telling her what was bothering you, but you keep doubting your decision.
Billie had told you that she didn’t care about your baggage. At the very least, she’d said that it wouldn’t change her feelings for you. Still, you hate to bring the issue up again because it seems like it’s been forever since you two just had a conversation about something nice, casual, and not stressful. You can’t remember the last time you two went out on a date, and you hate how tense and stressful everything is between you.  
Maybe it was just your insecurities, but you sigh as you and Billie come up on the end of the neighborhood. You’re probably going to turn around soon, if Milo would stop peeing.
“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”
You feel some of your anxiety melt away at that familiar term of endearment, and you turn toward Billie with a small smile. You squeeze her hand before shaking your head in refusal. You don’t really want to talk about this now because you are almost certain you’ll be crying for at least some of this conversation. Still, you don’t want to leave Billie hanging so you tell her the truth. At least as much of it as you’re willing to at the moment.
“I’m just thinking about everything that’s happened in the past few months. How much has changed.”
Billie doesn’t respond immediately. She watches how you turn back around, heading for home, with a faraway look. It seems more contemplative than anything else, but Billie can’t figure out what you’re trying to say.
“Good and bad?”
You smile as Milo leads the three of you back to Billie’s. He’s eager for his treat because he picks up the pace a little, but you just hold his leash tighter so he doesn’t drag you. You’re not really in the mood for that tonight.
“Yes, luckily more good than bad recently.”
You shoot Billie a charming smile that she practically melts at. She pulls you towards her so you’re close enough to kiss, and you laugh as you practically fall into the medium.
You mean what you say. That more good things have happened to you than bad. Unfortunately, the bad is starting to catch up with you due to your failure to deal with anything that really bothers you. You shut it out and you’re learning quickly that this is not a good thing. You know you need to work on this, but you’re just not sure how. How do you come to terms with things that are over and done with? Things that you hate to talk about?
Billie waits patiently as you find your next words. You look to Milo with a smile.  He’s looking back at you and Billie occasionally, as if making sure that you’re still there. You are once again reminded of how much your dog means to you, and how much he’s helped you these past few months.
“Things just started stacking up, you know? I didn’t deal with how my ex made me feel, and then my dad’s death, and now with this asshole I don’t even really know? It just seems like at this point it’s all too overwhelming. That I’m better off ignoring it.”
You can feel Billie about to respond to this, so you beat her to it with a sigh of defeat.
“I know I'm not, Billie. I just. I don’t know how to deal with it.”
You wait for what feels like years as Billie considers what you’re saying. She can’t really pretend like she knows how you feel, or what your logic is for not dealing with your problems. Having so many traumatic things happen in such rapid succession can leave anyone a little dazed and unsure of how to proceed. All she knows is what you told her, so Billie tries not to assume anything as she finally shoots you a smile.
You don’t notice because you’re too busy looking around for something. Billie doesn’t realize this until you fail to respond, or even acknowledge what she’s said after a few seconds.
“Well, what is it that makes you want to deal with it now?”
You’re too busy staring at a car that looks familiar to realize that Billie’s responded. You walk past the car that you swear was about a block away from Billie’s when you left before you look back to the medium. You see that she’s looking at you expectantly, and suddenly it clicks that you’ve missed something. You apologize before looking back over your shoulder with a frown.
“Sorry, I just—does that car look familiar to you? I feel like I’ve seen it multiple times on this walk already.”
You know it’s possible that there is more than one gold SUV in this neighborhood, but you can’t help but be a little paranoid. Billie frowns too as she looks to the car that they just passed. She honestly hadn’t been paying much attention to anything other than you and Milo. Mostly what you said and what she could sense from you. She shakes her head before turning back to you, and telling you the truth.
“Sorry, Y/N. I haven’t really been paying attention.”
You just nod at this before you decide that you’re just being paranoid. You continue down the street and you’re almost to Billie’s before you realize that you hadn’t asked what Billie had said at all.
“Wait, what were you saying earlier? I got distracted by potential stalkers.”
Billie just smiles at you as she shakes her head and turns to look at the dog that is coming your way. She watches as you hold Milo’s leash tighter and steer him in the other direction as he spots the dog and immediately starts tugging.
“Milo, knock it off.”
He listens, sort of, and you only have to move him to your other side, in between you and Billie for him to calm down.
“It’s okay. We can talk about it when we get back.”
You take this as an excuse to put it off again, so you simply nod before allowing your mind to wander.
Before you know it, you’re back at Billie’s and you’re taking care of Milo while Billie checks on the cats. It’s only 8 pm but you’re exhausted and could sleep now. You leave Milo in the living room as you head upstairs to take a shower. You go check on Billie first and you smile as you peek your head into the laundry room to see her sitting next to the kittens. As usual Bit barely acknowledges your presence.
“Hey, I’m going to shower, do you need anything?”
Billie just smiles at you and shakes her head. You’re not surprised to see that she’s holding Mickey and you smile at the adorable sight before leaving with a sigh. You can feel your headache coming back just at the thought of the conversation you started on the walk. You could just drop it and worry about it tomorrow, but you wanted to be honest. You also wanted someone to tell you that you were being ridiculous.
As you take off your clothes, find a towel and turn on the shower you think about how irrational you’re being. You have only run into Doug maybe half a dozen times since you moved to LA. You realized that you both like to go on early morning walks, in your case with Milo, every day and you at least saw each other maybe every other week. That wasn’t a big deal, and you knew it, but since you started dating Billie, you’d learned what a homophobic asshole he was. You almost felt like he sought you out sometimes, but that was ridiculous.
Right?
You think back to the last time you saw Doug, before he pushed you down the stairs. It had been in the mail room and he’s muttered a slur under his breath before leaving. He hadn’t touched you then, but clearly that hadn’t stuck. You think about how easy it should be to avoid him and how there was no real reason to be afraid.
As you’re standing in the shower trying to convince yourself that Doug isn’t a threat, you realize why you’re so fixated on this. Why you’re giving someone who doesn’t deserve a second thought, so much of your time and energy.
You groan under your breath at your own stupidity. Then you curse yourself for not knowing where to go from here, despite knowing what you need to do.
Why did life have to be so hard?
By the time you’re out of the shower your headache is back full-force. You groan as you manage to change clothes before you have to sit down on the bed. You close your eyes and just try to relax and will away your headache, but your head is still pounding almost 10 minutes later. You lie down on the bed and groan under your breath. You don’t realize how long you lay there until you almost fall asleep.
Milo gets bored downstairs and decides to come and look for either you or Billie. Since Billie was still with the kittens, he finds you first and he hurriedly pushes his way into the room and over to you. He starts pawing at your arm and you groan again before turning away from him.
“No, Milo stop! Go away.”
You hope that this will be enough to get your dog to leave you alone, but really you know Milo better than that. He sits down and whines loudly before he decides to take matters into his own hands. He circles the bed and jumps up on to it, jostling you and making your head throb annoyingly. You open your eyes to glare at him when he starts to lick your face.
“No! Bad Milo. Get down!”
Milo whines but he listens to you, and is on the ground by the time Billie is coming into the room. She looks inside, immediately seeing you curled up on the bed with your head under a pillow and Milo looking pitiful from where he sits on the floor just staring at you.
“Are you alright?”
You don’t have the energy to turn and face Billie and that really tells her all that she needs to know. Still, she cuts off the lights and walks towards the bed with a frown. You sigh before you chance a look out from under the pillow to see that Billie has turned off the lights. You know you shouldn’t be, but you’re surprised by this. Eventually you wave Billie off ineffectively.
“My head hurts, but it’s okay. I just need to lie here.”
Billie doesn’t say anything for a little while. She does some math in her head, realizing that you just took your meds before looking to Milo when he whines. She watches you flinch slightly at the sound and she makes the decision to take him off your hands.
“Other than taking Milo, is there anything I can do for you?”
You smile at this before removing the pillow from you face and turning so you are looking at Billie. You shake your head before regretting it instantly and cringing at your stupidity.
“That’s more than enough, thank you. I really think I just need to sleep it off.”
Billie doesn’t argue with you and she just leaves hoping that you’ll feel better sooner rather than later. She takes Milo downstairs with her, and gives him a treat when he sits down in the living room. She tries getting some work done, but she’s distracted and not worried enough about the interview to really focus. She’ll have all day tomorrow, not that she needed it, so she closes her computer before looking to Milo.
He’s licking his paws clean, but he looks up at Billie when she stands. He’s quick to get up too as Billie walks to the kitchen to get something to drink. She drinks most of a glass of wine standing at the counter as she stares out the window. It’s dark so she can’t see anything really, but she looks to where she knows the garden is, and wonders who would have snuck back there.
She’s afraid that she knows who it is, or at least why they were back there and she sighs in defeat. She considers how likely it is that you will continue to be bothered. She hopes that the novelty wears off soon, but there’s really no telling at this point. Billie just hopes that they leave you alone at least until you are feeling better.
Billie finishes her wine and cleans the kitchen before glancing at the clock. It’s a little early for her to sleep, but she figures she’ll walk Milo one last time and then check on the cats before going to bed. She would have to check on you too, but she was certain you were asleep at this point.
You are upstairs failing to sleep when your phone goes off from somewhere in the room. You groan, not sure of where you’d left it, and you are tempted to ignore it until it continues to vibrate. You sit up in bed forcing your eyes open as you scan the room. It is completely dark except for the dim light of your phone in the middle of the floor. Why had you left it there?
You sigh in relief when it finally stops vibrating, but you decide that you need to get it in case it starts again. You throw the covers that you’d managed to crawl under off of you before swinging your legs off to the side of the bed. You don’t bother standing up, you just drop to your knees before crawling towards you phone. You’re glad you’re alone because this probably looks as weird as it is, but you get your phone without aggravating your headache too much.
You silence it and carry it back with you before putting it on the side table. You groan under your breath as you simply close your eyes and just wait until you summon the energy to crawl back into bed. You glance at your phone realizing it is already 10, and you just hope that Billie will take care of Milo because you are not about to go downstairs to walk him.
You are almost asleep when Billie comes to check on you a little while later.
After taking care of the kittens and walking Milo, Billie gets ready for bed. She decides to leave Milo downstairs for the night, and he doesn’t seem to mind as he gets settled in the living room. She glances to your door before retreating into her room. She changes clothes, brushes her teeth and washes her face before she looks to her bed. She wants to check on your before sleeping, so she sneaks down the hall and opens the door as quietly as possible.  
She looks in and sees that you’re under the covers and appear to be asleep. She turns to leave, starting to shut the door until she hears you shift and groan under your breath.
“Billie?”
Billie releases her hold on the door before she speaks as quietly as possible.
“Hi, Y/N. I was just checking to see if you needed anything?”
You don’t respond immediately, and you just sigh before shifting so you’re closer to the middle of the bed. You stifle a yawn as you speak up just loudly enough for Billie to hear.
“Yes, please. Come sit?”
Billie realizes that you’re making room for her and she sighs before walking further into the room. She shuts the door behind her before coming to stand at the side of the bed, watching as you throw back the covers for her.
“Are you sure there’s nothing you need? Water or--?”            
You just shake your head before patting the bed with a yawn. “Nope. Just you.”
Billie sighs in defeat as she simply nods before getting into bed next to you. She’s careful not to jostle you too much, but as soon as she’s lying under the covers, you’re moving closer to her. You wrap your arms around her tentatively before you peer up at her with a curious look that’s lost on her due to the darkness.
“Is this okay?”
Billie just smiles before telling you that it’s fine, so you lie down with your head on her shoulder before you close your eyes.
Billie is near sleep when you speak up again. She opens her eyes in surprise because she was certain that you had fallen asleep. She hadn’t expected you to speak so suddenly and she jumps slightly before turning to see that you’re looking at her. It’s too dark to really make out your expression, but Billie guesses that you’re frowning based on what you said.
***
“I never told you what was bothering me.”
Billie starts to shake her head but then realizes you may not notice. Your eyes are closed and you are still curled up against Billie as you fight off your headache. You open them slightly and even though there isn’t a lot of light coming in from the window, it’s enough to irritate you.
“You don’t have to tell me, Y/N. It’s late.”
Billie waits as you figure out how you want to respond. You don’t say anything immediately. You just sigh as you try to get move comfortable, and turn so you’re able to see Billie’s face. At least the little bit of it that’s visible.
“I know. I just don’t want you to be mad.”
Billie isn’t sure what to say to this at first and decides to wait until you elaborate. You don’t however so she just asks the obvious question.
“Why would I be mad?”
You take a deep breath before you move away a little so you can see Billie without being on top of her. You don’t realize that she takes this the wrong way. You’re too worried about not saying the wrong thing.
“I want to tell you what she did so you understand why I’m like this. I just don’t want you to be mad.”
Billie frowns at this and opens her mouth to say something, but you beat her to it. You need to speak up before you lose your nerve. You frown at the thought of what happened earlier tonight. You hate how just talking to Billie had somehow reminded you of her. She and Billie couldn’t be more different, but you supposed it couldn’t be helped. You could only do better.
“She used to yell at me for apologizing too much. She’d tell me I was worthless because I was too soft.”
You close your eyes, missing Billie’s look as you try to block out the memories of all the fights you used to have. Maybe you had been too soft. You’d stopped fighting against her because arguing seemed useless, and eventually you’d run instead of trying to figure things out. Not that you believed you could have. Billie on the other hand, is thinking back to your conversation in the kitchen and how your demeanor had changed so suddenly. Had she done something to make you think of your ex?
“I’m not telling you so you feel bad, for me. I’m just realizing that with the whole thing that happened with Doug, not dealing with how she made me feel isn’t an option.”
Billie had been waiting for you to say this. Since she’d asked you on the walk with Milo why you were wanting to figure this out now. It was less of a mystery to Billie now given what you’ve told her, but she wanted to know your intentions, and if she could help.
“I just have some things I need to unlearn.”
Billie is quiet for a while as she considers what you could be talking about. You yawn and close your eyes again, feeling sleepier now that you’re nice and comfortable. You don’t realize how Billie’s deep in thought until she speaks up. You’re so shocked by what she says that you nearly sit up.
“When Milo interrupted us in the kitchen…was that because of something your ex did?”
You had not been expecting Billie to bring this up. Sure you’d explained to Billie why Milo had reacted the way he had, but you suppose you hadn’t told her exactly what had happened. You’d mentioned being pushed around. You hadn’t wanted to tell Billie all of the details.
Now; however, Billie was asking for clarification and you wanted to give it to her. It just meant that you had to talk about something you hadn’t told anyone.
This probably needed to change.
“Yes. She um-we were fighting and she shoved me onto the counter and-.”
You trailed off as you recall what happened that day. You’d been out with some friends for too long, and the two of you had gotten into a yelling match. It quickly turned physical and you found yourself pinned beneath her.
You don’t notice how you start to fidget, and your hands go to your hair as you clear your throat.
“She tried to force herself on me, but Milo scared her off.”
You briefly wonder where your dog is before your attention is brought back to Billie. She reaches out for one of the hands that is currently tugging at your hair with a questioning look. You meet her the rest of the way and sigh in relief when she pulls you closer.
“I’m sorry if that, or anything else I’ve done has made you uncomfortable. If I ever do something you don’t like, tell me. I won’t be offended.”
You shake your head immediately because you didn’t want this. You don’t want Billie to apologize for doing something that you’d wanted. You hadn’t been thinking about anything but Billie when Milo had interrupted you two. You’d been surprised that he reacted the way he did because honestly other than that one similarity, there was nothing else about that encounter that resembled what happened with your ex.
“Billie, no. You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong, or that I didn’t like.”
You sigh as you run your fingers over Billie’s absentmindedly as you play with her nails.
“It’s—it wasn’t the same. I’m not sure why Milo reacted that way, and…”
You take a deep breath, fighting the blush you know will appear at your next words. It’s dark enough that Billie won’t see it, but you’re sure she can hear it as you stutter slightly.
“The way you tease me is only in a way I-um like, and I love every second of it.”
Billie only manages a weak smile at this. She’s too busy thinking about how so many of the things she’s done or said to you could have been triggering. Initially, she hadn’t thought your shyness was due to anything other than your personality. She hadn’t considered you’d been hurt and that you were reluctant to trust people. Billie suddenly felt awful for somehow not realizing this sooner.
Billie sighs and you frown when you realize that she’s not cutting herself any slack. This is what you’d been worried about. You didn’t want Billie to beat herself up over this. She hadn’t done anything wrong.
“Just—please. If I ever do anything that’s out of line, let me know?”
You nod immediately before leaning forward to kiss Billie’s cheek. You smile, sincerely hoping that she catches a glimpse of it before you sigh and squeeze Billie’s hand tightly.
“You’ve been so sweet, and so considerate with me Billie. I feel so lucky and I know you may think it’s a big deal, but sometimes I’m okay with being bossed around. If it’s the right person and you’re kind, which you are.”
You stop rambling abruptly and take a deep breath before everything that you’d said registers. You’re slightly mortified by that last bit, but you don’t get a chance to think too much about it before Billie just laughs breathily and nods more to herself than to you. She leans in to kiss your forehead and then your nose before sighing in relief.
Okay, good. But, Y/N--.”
You already know what she’s going to say, so you cut her off with a kiss. You move closer to her so she can wrap her arms around your waist and pull you against her. You sigh in contentment before nodding with a small smile.
“Yes, I will tell you if I don’t like something, Billie. I promise.”
***
When you wake up the next morning, you forget where you are for just a second. Despite all of the convincing you’d done yesterday, mostly to yourself, you’d had a dream about Doug. You’d been in your apartment with Milo, and it had been a normal day. The dream had promptly ended when you’d woken up after answering the door to see Doug standing there with that same damn scowl of his.
You look around as you sit up with a groan. The bed is empty and you lie back down when your head pounds painfully. You’re parched and need to drink something, but you’re too lazy to get up. You settle back into bed, only having a few seconds to wonder where Billie is before the bedroom door opens.
You’re convinced that Billie is able to read your mind when you see that she’s brought two cups of something with her. You smile as you take the cup of coffee that is mostly milk, before kissing Billie in thanks. She smiles at you before moving to sit beside you. You sit up, careful not to spill before draining half the cup.
“You’re my favorite, did you know that?”
Billie laughs in response as she places her cup on the side table before scooting closer to you. She eyes you curiously but you miss it as you turn to put your cup down with a smile. You turn back to Billie when she places a hand on your thigh.
“Your favorite what?”
Your smile turns down slightly as you think about this, but it quickly widens as you shrug in faux disinterest. There’s a lot you could say but instead you decide to be sincere as you place a hand on top of Billie’s. You play with one of her rings before you meet her gaze with a smile.
“My favorite person, probably. You’ve been such a huge help and I’m just really grateful.”
You look away slightly embarrassed by what you say, but Billie stops you with a hand on your cheek. She’s smiling as she runs her fingers along you jaw before shaking her head.
“You deserve it, Y/N. I hope you know that.”
You roll your eyes, about to argue in some way but Billie cuts you off before you can even get a word out. You don’t feel like arguing once Billie’s lips touch yours and you sigh before leaning into the medium. Her hand moves to the back of your head to tangle in your hair as you kiss Billie harder. You groan as Billie tugs on your hair a little, and you turn so you’re closer to her. You don’t get a chance to reach out for her before Billie’s moving away from you.
You frown and you’re about to ask what’s wrong before Billie speaks up. Her hand falls from your hair and moves to your cheek again, Billie’s shooting you a concerned look as she runs her thumb along your bottom lip.
“How are you feeling?”
You smile slightly before your brow furrows in confusion. You’re used to Billie checking in with you, but it seems a little early for her. Usually she wouldn’t ask until you two got a little further along in what you were doing, but as you search Billie’s face for an explanation you realize that you are overlooking something that was fairly important.
“Um, I’m fine, how are you feeling?”
Billie realizes that you don’t really understand what she’s asking so she drops her hand into her lap.
“Your head, Y/N.”
Your eyes widen before you nod in confirmation. You smile before closing the gap between you and Billie again with another nod.
“Yes! It’s much better. I promise.”
You wait until Billie’s skeptical look disappears, and you smirk when she sighs in defeat. You move so you’re practically in Billie’s lap before she speaks up.
“You promise?”
You nod enthusiastically before leaning back in to kiss Billie. She doesn’t let you take lead for long and you just smile as she grabs your hips and pulls you into her lap. You resist the urge to groan as her fingernails dig into the sensitive skin at your waist. You sigh as Billie parts your lips and your hands immediately find her hair. You ignore the voice at the back of your mind telling you to take it easy. You’ve been here for three days and you and Billie hadn’t done more than kiss in passing.
You were recovering, sure, but that doesn’t stop your libido from rearing it’s head. In fact, it seems that spending time with Billie like this and getting to see her all the time has the opposite effect. Not that you expected anything else. You loved spending time with Billie, but you hated that you couldn’t do anything other than sit around.
You supposed this didn’t exactly count as just sitting around.
Your hold on Billie’s hair tightens as the blonde’s hands start to wander. You are too distracted by Billie’s hands sneaking under your shirt to hear Milo immediately. Billie just chooses to ignore him because he’s been fed and walked. All he really wants now is attention. You hiss at the feeling of Billie’s hands sliding up your back, but you jump when Milo stops whining and decides to scratch at the door.  You groan as you turn away from Billie to glare at the closed door. You don’t move because you’re not about to leave now. Milo can entertain himself for a while.
“Milo, no! Go away.”
Milo continues to scratch at the door, and you groan before shouting at him again. He stops but continues to whine, but you roll your eyes and just turn back to Billie. You smile before shifting your weight on Billie’s lap as you lean towards her again.
“He can take care of himself for a little bit.”
Milo sits at the door waiting for you to open it for a couple of minutes before giving up. Mostly, he is distracted by the sound of someone coming up the stairs. He turns and sees Bit grooming herself. The two of them had mostly avoided each other because Bit didn’t want anything to do with Milo. So she eyes him warily as she cleans her coat just down the hall from him. Since Milo didn’t have any luck with you, he decides to go see if Bit wants to play with him.
Once Milo left you and Billie alone, the two of you had picked up right where you left off. You’re shirtless and horizontal by the time that you hear Bit yowling and hissing from the hallway. You curse under your breath as you sit up quickly and hurry to jump off the bed. Billie is right behind you when you open the door to the sound of Bit hissing loudly at Milo who is crouched down in his play bow in front of the cat. Bit however, is having none of it, and she hisses at him as he tries to get closer to her.
“Milo! Hey, come here.”
You hurry to pull Milo away from Bit who has her back arched and looks like she wants to claw the shit out of him. Luckily, Milo turns to you when you call his name and he bounds over to you. He jumps scratching you and you yell at him before telling him to sit.
“Ow! Milo no! Sit down.”
Once Milo is out of the way Bit runs to the laundry room to escape. It’s not open so Billie goes to let her in while you take Milo back to Billie’s room. You tell him to sit as you find your shirt and get dressed. You don’t find it immediately, and Billie returns before you manage to pull it back on. You sigh once you’re finally dressed and you shoot Milo a glare before smiling at Billie.
“I guess I’m up now.”
It’s lunch time before you and Billie have a moment of peace. Milo has decided to be a demon today, and Billie got stuck on calls for work that she hadn’t been expecting. She didn’t have too much to do in terms of preparing for Friday. It was really just another couple of interviews, one in the morning and one late at night, if you understood correctly.
You didn’t have much to do either. You didn’t work until Monday, but Milo was causing you more trouble than usual. He was being a brat and not leaving you alone until you took him outside. After the third time you told him that he was staying put until after lunch. He did not like this and started whining loudly. You didn’t want him disturbing Billie so you cave and take him outside again. This time, you go to the backyard to get him to calm down and to get some fresh air. You’re surprised by how sunny it is outside until you remember that you had been wearing sunglasses for the last two times you walked Milo. Your headache had come back and the only way to make walking him tolerable was to wear them.
You let Milo wander around the yard while you lie down in one of the chairs on the deck. You watch Milo carefully, but he hasn’t shown much interest in going beyond Billie’s yard. Still, you call him over after a few minutes and he comes to lie down next to you after planting a messy kiss on your cheek. You groan before scratching his muzzle and then squishing his ears.
“Are you feeling better now? Less bratty?”
Milo only licks you again before resting his head on your stomach. It doesn’t look super comfortable how he’s sitting, but you don’t protest as you lie back and stretch out your legs with a yawn. You definitely could fall asleep here if you’re not careful.
Billie sighs as she finally hangs up the phone after almost an hour of talking to her producer. She hadn’t expected this call and she was a little ticked. She needed a break from work for a while to cool off. She looks at the clock and sees that it is almost 1. She didn’t realize how late it was and now she’s annoyed for another reason.
Billie had been planning on eating with you, maybe even going out, but she figured you already had lunch. It had been about an hour since she’d seen you last.
Billie sighs as she stands up to search for you, but once she steps into the kitchen, she immediately sees Milo on the deck. She walks towards the back door and finally sees you lying in one of the chairs. Your eyes are closed making Billie think that you are probably asleep, so she opens the door quietly.
Milo notices her first of course and his tail starts to wag as he stands up to greet her. Billie smiles reaching out for him as she sneaks a peek at you, confirming that you are definitely asleep. You look comfortable all stretched out and Billie was tempted to leave you to rest.
You woke up, unsurprisingly, when Milo whined from beside you. You groan softly as you open your eyes, quickly covering them when you realize you were still outside.
“Tired?”
You turn suddenly at the sound of Billie’s voice, and you see her sitting in the chair next to you with Milo sitting between you. You smile before sitting up and shaking your head. Despite this, you yawn but ignore Billie’s look before asking how her calls went.
“Billie, hi. How did it go? Are you done?”
Billie sits up as well as she turns toward you with a sigh. She was tired, but she got most of the work she needed to do today done. You smile at this and you stand up and move to sit next to Billie. You consider sitting closer, but settle down beside her before responding.
“That’s great. So you have most of the afternoon off?”
You can’t help but smile widely as you ask this, and Billie of course, sees right through you. She laughs before pretending to think about this for a moment. She knows her answer already and is certain that you do too, but she looks to Milo briefly before making a contemplative noise.
“Hmm I’m not sure. I might be able to find more work to do.”
You pout at this and decide to see if you can convince Billie to find something better to do than work. You slide onto Billie’s lap and wrap your arms around her neck with a dramatic sigh.
“Billie, come onnn. There has to be something more exciting you can do. If you really don’t have to work…”
You shoot Billie a pleading look and the medium just smirks as she pulls you closer. You lean in to kiss her, but she turns away last minute making you pout yet again. You don’t frown for long though before Billie finally asks you what you had in mind.
“I guess I don’t have to, but what could possibly be more exciting than work?”
You kiss Billie’s cheek before looking around the backyard briefly. You weren’t too worried about being seen because Milo would probably warn you if you were no longer alone. So you just shrug before leaning in for a proper kiss. Your smile widens when Billie doesn’t turn away this time.
“I’m sure we can think of something.”
It was almost 3 pm before you and Billie got around to eating lunch. You were already thinking take out when Billie speaks up. She’s standing at the counter pouring the two of you glasses of water while you sit on the couch with Milo at your feet.
“What do you want to do for lunch? I was thinking we would go out, until we got sidetracked.”
You smile and turn to Billie as she says this. You thank her as you take one of the glasses before moving over so she can sit down. She smiles in thanks as you pick up your phone again to show Billie what you were looking at.
“Ah, right. Maybe we can just order in and go out another time?”
You turn to Billie who watches as you grab your phone before nodding. She thinks about when the best time for this would be. Given that she’s so busy tomorrow she doesn’t want to promise anything. However, she knows that she may need to destress after the interviews and her favorite way to relax was spending time with you.
“How about we go out tomorrow after I finish up working, if I’m not too exhausted?”
You turn to Billie with a surprised look. You are certain that you will be exhausted the time Billie finishes working tomorrow. One of her interviews was at night, and you liked staying up sometimes, but you’re not sure you want to stay up that late.
“Uhh, won’t you be working until midnight?”
Billie laughs at this before shaking her head. She now understands your bewildered look, but she just smiles before clarifying what tomorrow will look like.
“No, sweetheart. We’re filming that interview in the afternoon. It won’t really be live.”
You nod as realization dawns on you and you almost sigh in relief. You love spending time with Billie, but you’re not sure you could commit to anything after midnight.
“Okay. Well then sure. If you’re up to it.”
You both spend a few minutes talking about what to order for lunch before planning tomorrow night. Since you’re not sure if Billie is going to be in the mood to go out, you decide on a place that doesn’t require reservations. Billie asks you if there is anywhere you would like to go. You don’t know many places that you would want, and since Billie knows more about the area you suggest that she chooses.
“Well, we could go somewhere that allows dogs.”
You’re a little caught off guard by this and you shoot Billie a confused look. You turn to Milo before looking back to Billie with a small smile.
“You want Milo to come with us? On a date?”
Billie simply shrugs before saying why not. She likes Milo and has a feeling he’d be well behaved. Also, she didn’t want him staying at home alone with the cats for too long. When Billie says this, you smile in understanding before trying to think of a way that you could make him staying here work. Just in case Billie didn’t really want him tagging along. You of course thought of several reasons why having him would be beneficial, but you keep those to yourself for now.
“Are you sure, Billie? We can figure something else out.”
Billie just smiles again before shaking her head. She reaches out for your hand before glancing at Milo who is looking at you like he always is.
“I want you to be comfortable, Y/N, and I also don’t want you worrying about him. If that means we’re forced to have a handsome escort for our date, well, I think I can live with that.”
You laugh at this before shaking your head in disbelief. You’re not sure how you managed to get so lucky after your last relationship, and you don’t think you’ll ever stop wondering. You squeeze Billie’s hand before nodding in agreement. You’re sure you will enjoy it either way, but you are glad that Billie seems sincere when she says that she doesn’t mind the third wheel.
“Okay. Thank you, Billie.”
She just smiles before kissing you soundly. You eventually pull away when your phone buzzes, but you don’t bother looking at it as you turn to Milo with a smile. Billie just rolls her eyes with an amused chuckle before pulling you back towards her.
“Get cleaned up Milo, you need to look nice for our date tomorrow.”  
Part 18
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spaceskam · 4 years
Text
From A Whisper To A Scream (1/10)
(if the beginning looks familar, it’s because I posted the first 1k before I realized I was going to make it a full story)
ao3
The viola stayed under Alex's chin even as his bow slowed and his fingers fell limp against the neck.
Maria kicked him to tell him he was fucking up, but he couldn't fix it. He was far too busy watching as Michael Guerin, quarterback of the football team who was being scouted by five different universities, slipped into the band room with a note in his hand. He had that award-winning smile on his face as he strolled towards Mr. Richard. Alex couldn't take his eyes off him; he never could.
Two months ago, he'd been assigned to tutor Michael Guerin because he was failing English. He'd been annoyed at first. While everyone else found him charming, Alex found him annoying, arrogant, and chronically heterosexual at best. However, two conversations with him later, he discovered he was a goddamn math genius and he wasn't actually bad at English either, he just didn't put in the effort. Alex had just made himself a personal pest rather than a tutor, breathing over his shoulder until he did his work. That hovering turned into something a tad unexpected...
"Alex," Mr. Richard said, not stopping as he waved the paper in the air, "Mrs. Doyle needs you, bring your bag."
Alex nodded, ignoring Maria's confused look as he quickly packed up his viola and headed towards the door of the band room. Michael was leaning against the wall beside the door, flashing that mischievous grin.
"Don't worry, you're not in trouble," he teased, speed walking down the concrete pathway that led to the virtually abandoned old gym that was only used during volleyball season. Michael had swiped his coach's key and made a copy, letting both of them inside.
"You can't just take me out of class whenever you're bored," Alex scolded, following him through the dimly lit gym towards the locker room without question. As much as those butterflies in his stomach were going crazy, he never let that show. It was easier to pretend he didn't really give a shit about him if he acted like it at all times.
"Who said I was bored? You can't make assumptions like that, Manes," Michael said, still grinning wildly as he unlocked the office that was used as storage more than anything. There were stacks of extra chairs and two old desks.
"I'm not making assumptions, I know you," he said, carefully putting down his case and his bag, "But seriously, our concert is in a month and I have a solo."
"Ooh, violin solo? Look at you," Michael teased. Alex rolled his eyes, standing up and looking at Michael who was waiting patiently for him with his hands behind his back.
"Viola," he corrected. Michael shrugged like the difference didn't matter, rolling from his heels to his toes and then back again. Alex stared at him blankly. "So what’s so important that you couldn't wait until after class?"
Michael's grin became entirely childish as he took a step closer. Alex leaned his hands back on one of the desks, lifting himself to sit on it easily.
"I had a dream about you last night," Michael said. Alex raised a lazy eyebrow despite his genuine interest.
Whatever they did wasn't real. It was something Alex had found to be very useful for bribery whenever Michael needed to do homework or a stress relief tactic, all born out of Michael's innocent questioning if the rumors about Alex were true. Alex was nothing more than a step in Michael's coming out process. But that didn't mean he couldn't have fun with it.
"You were in that sexy little concert uniform, playing me a song, kept me distracted all day," Michael said. Alex furrowed his eyebrows.
"What are you talking about? My black slacks and white button-up? That's not sexy," Alex said. Michael bit down on his lip, eyes scanning over him anyway.
"Don't forget the bowtie," Michael breathed, taking another step closer, "Can I touch you?"
"Depends," Alex said, watching Michael snap his eyes up to meet his to wait for the permission he needed, "Did you finish that book report that's due tomorrow?"
"Yes," Michael answered.
"Mhm, what was it about?" Alex asked. Michael gave a soft sigh of disbelief, his shoulders dropping.
"Really, Alex?" Alex didn't budge. "It was about the roles the different women in Okonkwo's life played."
"Length?"
Michael gave a soft, pathetic whine. Alex leaned back against the wall, thighs spread wide, and letting Michael continue to bounce up on his toes.
"1,534 words, double spaced," Michael answered.
"And?"
"And MLA format, c'mon, Alex," he groaned. Alex allowed a small smile and raised his hand, gesturing him forward. Michael broke out in a smile, barrelling forward to fit between his thighs and his lips meeting Alex's.
Alex locked his legs around his hips, holding onto the back of his head as he kissed him without thought. It was slow, deep, deliberate as Michael pressed in as much as he could. Alex leaned his head against the wall, Michael holding his hips at the edge of the desk to keep them close to his.
Touching him made it obvious how pent up with unused energy he was. He didn't have practice this morning, leaving him extra antsy and needing an outlet. Alex started to push off his letterman jacket with one hand, leading his head to the crook of his neck. Michael shook off the jacket and audibly sighed in relief as Alex touched his arm, slipping under the short sleeve.
"That why you couldn't wait?" Alex asked, voice breathy as Michael skillfully kissed and bit at his neck without leaving a mark. He pulled up the bottom of his shirt to touch more of his skin, feeling the way it helped him relax.
"I just," Michael whispered, pausing just for a second to speak as he squeezed Alex's hips, "There's so much fucking chaos in my head, sometimes I just need you to make it shut the fuck up."
"Sex is really that distracting for you?" Alex asked, laughter in his voice. To him, sleeping with people definitely didn't make his brain stop. If anything, it made him think more.
"No," Michael breathed, his face still in Alex's neck, "It's just you."
Alex felt his entire body go rigid and he thought about pushing him away. It felt like he crossed some sort of unspoken line, but he hadn't. Not really. It was just... A lot.
"Dreaming about you was actually kinda nice, sexy outfit aside,” Michael admitted, huffing a laugh, "Woke up feeling well rested for once."
"Um," Alex breathed, swallowing harder than he meant to. He let his legs drop from where they were locked around his hips. "Maybe we should..."
"Nah, I'm good, sorry," Michael said, lifting his head and kissing him again. Alex pushed away his concerns probably a little too effectively, focusing on his lips as he grabbed a handful of his hair.
They kissed and touched until the bell rang. That part was unintentional and they had to be each other's mirror, fixing up each other's hair and their clothes to make sure they looked normal whenever they went to their next class. Alex deliberately avoided eye contact, not ready to face the weird admissions that came up.
"So, uh, you'll come over after you get out of band practice?" Michael clarified before they left.
"Do I need to? I mean, you already finished your paper," Alex pointed out. Michael's eyes flickered over his face.
"Uh, yeah, right, nevermind," Michael said, putting some space between them until his back hit a stack of chairs and he jumped. Alex furrowed his eyebrows. That was easily the least smooth he'd ever seemed.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes," Michael said firmly, "Sanders is just working late and I had some math homework, but yeah I'm good."
"You're good at math, Guerin," Alex laughed.
"I know," Michael said, a smile slowly coming to his face, "Which is why I said I'm good. Let's go, don't wanna be late."
Alex left first, waiting outside the gym as Michael locked up both the office and the gym. His better judgment told him to put more space between them, let Michael take some space so he could realize whatever he was feeling wasn't real. It'd be gone as soon as he gave it some thought and Alex needed to avoid hurting himself.
But, as Michael locked the gym door and the bell rang telling him he was late for class, Alex didn't budge.
"So, I'll see you after practice?" Alex said. Michael looked at him with wide eyes, but it slowly bled into a sweet smile and he nodded.
Alex headed to class, knowing he was making a mistake and refusing to have any regrets. 
“Why did Mrs. Doyle need you?” Maria asked when he took his seat beside her. He looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.
“Huh?” 
“The art teacher? The one who called you out of class?” Maria filled in, but she soon realized something and her eyes widened, “Wait, you don’t even take art, Alex, what‒”
“Shh, class is starting.” 
He avoided her questioning looks and changed the subject when she tried to bring it up. Eventually he’d probably have to talk about it, but it was much more fun to completely avoid that. He didn’t think he ever wanted people to know he was hooking up with Michael Guerin, at least not while he was in high school. Maybe he’d brag about it in a few years.
After practice, he quickly headed to the car that had been passed down through all of his brothers and started his drive to the back of junkyard where Michael lived in a trailer with Old Man Sanders. Halfway through, his phone started ringing. The only reason he answered it was because of the name across his screen.
“There better be a good reason you’re calling because you interrupted a really good song,” Alex said playfully. His brother’s laugh was clear on the other side of the call, clear enough to tell Alex he was actually somewhere with good reception.
“I can hang up and leave you to it, but I had a small window and I wanted to make sure you were all good,” Flint said. Alex smiled easily. He missed Flint more than he ever thought he would. Their relationships got better once he was out of the house and they weren’t being directly put against each other anymore. 
“Yeah, Dad’s been chill lately,” Alex said.
“Good, good,” Flint said softly.
“Where are you now?”
“Uh, can’t say, you know how it is,” he said. Alex rolled his eyes.
“What’s the point of it being called the family business if you can’t tell family?”
“You know how it is, Alex, you’re not quite a Manes Man yet.”
“I turn 18 in super soon and Dad is already trying to talk to me about the Air Force which means that eventually he’s going to have the whole Family Business talk with me,” Alex said, annoyance in his voice. He was always stuck in this weird middle ground where he both felt left out and wanted nothing to do with it. The idea of being under his dad’s thumb  for his whole life sounded like hell, but there was something kind of cool about their multi-generational dynasty of researchers. He didn’t know too much about exactly what they did, but he knew rich people paid them a lot of money for it. Alex was pretty sure they were spies. “I should get to know where my own brothers are.”
“Well, you know where Greg and Clay are, isn’t that close enough?” Flint teased.
“Clay is boring and Greg gives me history lessons every time I ask him where he is,” Alex groaned, “At least you go cool places.”
“It’s because I’m the coolest,” Flint bragged. Alex rolled his eyes. “Here, I’ll give you a hint: it’s really fucking cold.”
“Canada?” Alex guessed, “Somewhere in Europe? You promised if you went back to Europe you’d get me something.”
“Good thing I’m not in Europe,” Flint laughed, “Not in Canada either. But, hey, look, I gotta go, I was just checking in.”
“Sounds like you’re trying to get out of talking to me before I can figure out where you are.”
“You got me,” Flint said, “But I also have to actually go. I’ll try to come see you soon.”
“Bring me something cool when you do.”
“I’ll do my best. Alright, love you, bye, weirdo.”
“Bye!”
Alex ended the call just as parked behind Michael’s truck and it wasn’t long before he found himself in his kitchen, mixing together ingredients to make cookies as the oven preheated and forgetting all about Flint. Michael had been the one to offer to make the cookies, to give them something to eat while they did homework, but it quickly turned into Alex doing all the work and neither of them was surprised by that.
Nor were they surprised when Michael still wanted something to do. Alex let himself focus on the kisses Michael was putting on his neck, his eyes slowly closing as he completely forgot what he was doing and rough hands slid beneath his shirt. He didn’t know what the hell had gotten into Michael today. He was always touchy, but today he’d brought it to an all new level. Alex didn’t say anything. He liked how desired it made him feel.
However, that only lasted up until the moment they heard his dad’s truck drive up. Alex pushed him off and pulled up the collar of his shirt to wipe his neck dry. Michael quickly hopped up to sit on the other side of the oven, effectively putting a few feet between them by the time Old Man Sanders walked inside.
“Boys,” he said, putting his keys on the hook beside the door.
“Sanders,” Michael said, mimicking the gruff tone of his voice. 
“Hi, Mr. Sanders,” Alex said, giving the most respectful smile he could manage. Sanders was probably used to him being here at this point considering Alex found himself at Michael’s at least twice a week. He was a very dedicated tutor, after all. However, Alex was taught nothing if not to give the best impression to adults as possible.
Sanders, however, never seemed to put up the same over the top act. He walked closer, peering into the bowl of half mixed cookie dough with a raised eyebrow.
“Y’all planning on making dinner or just desert?”
“Haven’t decided,” Michael answered. Sanders nodded.
“Alright,” he said. He looked at Alex and then over to Michael. “Make sure you leave that door open, you know this trailer has thin walls.”
Alex held his breath and Michael’s eyes widened. “Dude!”
“Don’t act like that, I know you.”
“Alex is my tutor,” Michael pointed out. Alex wanted to laugh. As if that would stop him.
“Well it ain’t Alex I’m worried about,” Sanders said. Michael watched him with an unreadable expression until Sanders reached up to ruffle his hair. “Relax, I’m messing with you, boy. You know I trust you more than my own eyes. But I still don’t need Sargent Jackass thinking you corrupted his boy. No offense.”
“None taken,” Alex laughed, letting himself relax when he realized he didn’t care. Sanders suspected something and he didn’t care. That was kind of nice.
“Good kid,” Sanders said, taking a deep breath, “Well, make sure you feed that dog. Alex, you can stay as late as you need.”
Sanders shuffled back to his bedroom and shut the door behind him. Michael leaned his ear against the wall, holding a finger out to Alex to tell him to wait. Alex just rolled his eyes and went back to stirring. Seconds after the shower turned on, Michael was back to being pressed up against him and taking his ear between his teeth.
“Oh, I’m gonna corrupt you alright,” Michael said, voice rough as he pulled Alex’s ass as close as he physically could.
Alex gasped playfully, grabbing his wrists and easily flipping them so Michael’s back was the counter. Michael’s eyes widened and his smile was borderline filthy as Alex pushed up against him. He leaned in close and Michael’s eyes drifted down to his lips before meeting his eyes again.
“You know better than anyone that there’s not much left to corrupt,” Alex said softly, “And what happened to asking?”
Michael nodded, still grinning as he looked at him with those dopey eyes.
“Right, sorry,” he said, “Can you please spit in my‒”
“I’m gonna finish these cookies,” Alex said, gently pushing him out of the way. Michael laughed softly, but he stayed put as Alex did just that.
He eventually found himself on the floor of the living room as the cookies baked. Michael was reading his essay and Alex laid, cuddling their old dog that only answered to the name Dog even though Sanders tried to give him a million names that never stuck. So he cuddled Dog and listened to Michael read and smelled the cookies that were baking. It was nice and homey in a way that made him never want to leave.
It stayed nice as they went over the physics lecture while eating cookies. It stayed nice when Michael fed Dog and suggested they go to his bedroom so they didn’t have to listen to him eat. It stayed nice when his books ended up on the floor and Michael ended up in his lap. It was even nice when Michael bit into his shoulder to keep quiet.
“Okay, so we have 4x²+12x=135, so how does that factor?”
Alex was laying in Michael’s bed, half naked and body still a little hazy as he focused on the homework that he came over to do in the first place. Michael was distracting, but he was going to at least pretend to help with his homework.
“Hmm,” Michael hummed, flopping down beside him after replacing his briefs, “Both factors start with -2x, right?”
“Right,” Alex confirmed, smiling a little to himself. Michael was a math genius and algebra was his specialty, but Alex quite enjoyed when he was able to fog up his brain to the point he had to actually think. “So factors of 135 are 3 and 45, 5 and 27, and 9 and 15, so which of those pairings help you get the factors of the equation?”
“What was it again?” Michael asked, voice genuinely a little lost. Alex rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling as he felt Michael roll closer to peer over his shoulder.
“4x²+12x=135,” Alex repeated. In the middle of his reading, though, Michael had gone back to kissing on his neck. “Hey, pay attention.”
“I am, I am, keep talking,” Michael urged, his hand sliding down until it started to edge past the waistband of Alex’s unbuttoned jeans.
“Keep talking?” Alex laughed, playfully nudging him before squirming a little as Michael's thumb pressed against the hickey he'd left on his ass that was still a little sensitive, “Are you getting off on me reading you equations?”
“You’re just so hot,” Michael breathed, but Alex wasn’t too stupid to hear the concealed yes in his words. He laughed and rolled onto his side, shoving Michael gently.
“You are! You fucking weirdo,” Alex teased, still laughing as Michael rested his head on the bed now that Alex had rolled away. He had that endlessly fond smile that he only gave when they were alone, his curls flopping towards the bed because of gravity. He was ridiculously gorgeous and overwhelmingly sweet. But that was too close to feelings, so Alex looked back to the math. “And you say that I’m a nerd.”
“What if I read you some Shakespeare, would you get turned on then?” Michael questioned. Alex just rolled his eyes and did his best to focus. Michael settled against his back, peering over his shoulder. “Okay, where were we?”
“Yeah, where were we?” Alex echoed.
Thirty minutes passed as Alex talked over Michael's homework. A few minutes in he'd resigned to the understanding that Michael wasn't really listening. He'd rested his head against Alex's back, his eyelashes brushing his skin as they closed and didn't reopen by the time Alex reached the third question. The only reason he knew he hadn't fallen asleep was because, at some point, he'd begun to play with Alex's fingers and he hadn't stopped.
It was weirdly peaceful between them. They didn't do this. They didn't cuddle or touch unless it was leading to something else. That made it feel less like convenience and more like he actually wanted to be here. It made things blurry in a way Alex wasn't prepared for. So why wasn't he putting a stop to it?
After a moment, he found himself not even focusing on the math anymore. Instead his eyes stayed on the way Michael's rough fingers rubbed against Alex's precise calluses that came from playing a stringed instrument every day for years. It was a drastic contrast, similar to the one that came with Michael's torn up nails and Alex's neatly painted ones.
"You need to stop biting your nails," Alex told him softly. Michael breathed in heavily like he was being woken up, lifting his head off Alex's back and leaving him cold.
"Paint them for me and maybe I'll stop," he said, voice rough and sleepy in a way that struck Alex in his chest.
"Wouldn't you get made fun of?" Alex asked.
"Fuck 'em," Michael said. That paired with the cuddling and the whole dream comment from before was... a lot. Alex cleared his throat.
"Okay."
Within a few minutes, Alex found himself perched on Michael's lap and a bottle of nail polish balancing on his math homework. It was a pretty compromising position, both of them shirtless and disregarding the homework he was here for, but Alex couldn't bring himself to mind.
"I wish I could see the look on Valenti's face when he sees this," Alex said, painting the black varnish over his nails. They were short and torn up, the skin around them just as bitten, and Alex knew his work would be messed up within a couple days, but he kept on nonetheless.
"Nah, he won't actually care. The dude tries so hard to fit in that he forgets to have his own opinions. He won't react until someone else does first," Michael told him. He looked dazed and sleepy, his cocky walls thrown to the wind. It was Alex's favorite version of him.
"Still. I don't know how you deal with all of that shit."
Michael shrugged. "It's not like I'm out or anything, so it’s not at me."
"Yeah, but doesn't it bother you hearing them say homophobic shit? I don't think I could stay quiet all the time," Alex said, raising Michael hand closer to his lips. He blew on his nails gently before swapping hands. His freshly painted one rested on Alex's thigh.
"It's easier to stay quiet," Michael admitted. Alex raised an eyebrow.
"Then aren't you just doing the same thing Kyle does?"
"I don't conform so much that I lose myself," Michael said, shifting a little bit as his eyes focused somewhere to Alex's left. "I, uh, I just spent so much of my life in foster care and bouncing around to shitty houses where silence was the best option. It's not an easy habit to unlearn."
"Oh," Alex said, eyes widening a little, "I didn't know that."
"Yeah," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "Once you hit a certain age, they just start putting you in group homes because most families don't want to foster teenage boys. I get it, I guess, but the one I was in last was hell. Everything I did was wrong and I paid for it."
"How'd you end up with Old Man Sanders, then?" Alex asked.
"Long story," Michael said, "But basically he found out I was sleeping in one of the abandoned trucks in the junkyard and instead of sending me back, he went through all the work to get certified to foster and went through hell to get me in his care. I basically just got really fucking lucky."
"Sounds like it," Alex agreed. He didn't have the right words for it and, honestly, he wasn't sure he'd say them if he did. Michael was sharing more than he usually did. They were still in this weird middle ground of doing things they didn't do and Alex didn't want to pop the bubble.
"But my point is that it's not as easy as just speaking your mind," Michael said. Alex nodded, switching hands again to put a second coat. He thought about doing a third coat just to have an excuse to stay in his lap.
"Reminds me of my brother," Alex admitted. Michael laughed and Alex glanced at his face for a second, that easy smile on his lips.
"Your brother? That's a funny way to say you don't think I'm hot," Michael teased. Alex rolled his eyes.
"I meant the whole conformity thing. He used to have a personality, I think, and sometimes he’s still cool, but somewhere along the line he just stopped fighting. It was easier to keep his mouth shut and do what my dad said. Even now he does that, goes where my dad tells him to. I never really got it, but I guess you have a point," Alex said, “I’m just not a fan.”
"You've just got massive balls, dude," Michael said, shaking his head, "Seriously, I know I joke that you're just a band geek, but it takes balls to be you and refuse to conform no matter what. It's... It's really impressive. Sometimes I wish I could be like you."
Alex stared at him for a long minute. He didn't know what earned him this version of this man but he didn't want to go back. He let himself be a little reckless; he let himself fall just a bit.
He leaned in for a kiss and it was welcomed. Michael wrapped one arm around Alex and placed his free hand on his cheek. It felt so natural to be with him in this way and that in itself was overwhelming. But, in the morning, they'd go back to normal. Tonight was a fluke.
Michael tightened his grip on him and moved so Alex's back was pressed into the mattress. Alex weaved his hands into his hair and wrapped his legs around his hips. Michael was warm and relaxed, just comfortable with being with him. Alex had an unhealthy attachment to it. He needed to put space between them before he got his heart broken. 
He pulled Michael closer.
They shared breath as Michael kept the pace slow, each kiss seeming to hold their own distinct and equally important purpose. Alex's heart was slamming in his chest and he didn't mind. 
He dragged his hand over his back. Michael had scars all over him, almost as much as Alex, and he kept them covered with clothes as often as possible. But here he was bare and Alex could feel them. He put his hand flat against the small of his back, pulling him down even more. Michael smiled.
It was all ruined by Alex's alarm going off.
"What the fuck is that?" Michael asked, lifting his head just barely. Alex shoved his shoulders gently. 
"I gotta go," Alex said, sitting up and reaching for his shirt after he turned his curfew warning alarm off.
"Go? Dude, it's late, just stay," Michael urged softly, that same voice from earlier that day when he asked Alex to come over despite not needing his help. A hand crossed over the front of his chest, trying to push him back into bed. Alex pushed his hand away, hoping it would also push away the butterflies that filled his stomach at the request to just stay.
"My dad would freak out if I did that," Alex said. 
"What happened to not conforming?" Michael asked. Alex rolled his eyes.
"Not the same thing," Alex told him. Michael still had that look on his face like he actually didn't want him to go. And Alex really didn't want to. "I gotta go."
"But…" he said, his eyes darting around the room as if it would give him an excuse to make Alex stay. "At least let me drive you home."
"I drove here," Alex laughed. Michael scowled and gave an irritated pout. Alex made the questionable decision to kiss it off his face. When he pulled away, Michael's eyes were still closed and he signed.
"This is torture, you know that, right?" Michael groaned. Alex stood up and Michael collapsed onto the pillow. It was only then that Alex realized the bottle of nail polish hadn't spilled. He didn't comment on it as he reached over to grab it and closed it.
"You already got off tonight and you have two whole hands, so I don't consider it torture," Alex said decidedly, slipping the bottle into his pocket. 
Michael wrapped the pillow up in his arms, cuddling into it as he stared up at Alex with those eyes that were hard to deny. Part of him wanted to cave and crawl back into bed, but a much bigger part knew that would only be bad for him. He needed to take a day or two away from him and reset so he didn't end up catching feelings. Or, more feelings.
"You're so mean to me."
"Shut up," Alex laughed, stepping into his shoes. He picked up his bag and pulled it over his head. Michael still looked utterly pathetic. "You know, for a jock, you're pretty whiny."
 "Fuck you."
"I know you want to," Alex teased. Michael breathed in deep.
"God, I really, really do."
"I'll see you whenever," Alex laughed, grabbing his keys.
"Tomorrow," Michael corrected. Alex smiled and opened his bedroom door.
"Tomorrow."
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addercharmer · 3 years
Text
Nezu did not know what to make of Bakugou Mitsuki, she was loud and very brash. Her choice of language annoyed him a little, he had to remind himself that even beings with foul language could be kind. The people who had experimented on him had such perfect manners and speech. 
After suggesting that they start with measurements Nezu had followed the blonde woman to what looked like a fabric store had exploded in an office. 
"Sorry, I forget sometimes that my language can be offensive." Mitsuki apologized once they were away from the others. 
"It's quite alright." He says before adding on. "Izumi is just a little overprotective of the pup." 
Mitsuki snorted. "Yeah. To be honest I don't remember her, but I've always had a horrid memory." She sighs. "Would you tell me about her, jog my memory?"
"Ah, Izumi said you wouldn't remember her too much." Nezu flaps his paws in a placating gesture. 
"If you don't mind I can measure as you talk." Mitsuki waves her hand at a circular platform in the center of the room. 
Nezu sheds his jacket and vest before hopping up. Mitsuki steps on a pedal that lifts the platform up to a comfortable height for her to measure him. 
"When Izumi spoke about you she told me many things, from personal observations to stories about your time together." Nezu tells her as he spreads his arms out when directed. 
"She told me how you would make her dresses to wear in the hospital, that they weren't always the best but that she had loved them because it showed you cared for her. She told me that she had kept all of them until the foster home she was placed in took all of her things except for two changes of under-things and what clothing she had arrived in." Nezu was glad that Izumi had mapped this out with him. 
"Her favorite story to tell is when she had finally been released from the hospital she went shopping with you and Inko, that she had purchased a tee-shirt with the kanji for dress on it and that you cried every time she wore it. She said that you tried to help her many times to correct her fashion, it's still terrible by the way, I do all her clothes shopping." Nezu knows that most of the story is true, just that it had happened when the girl was actually thirteen the first time. 
Mitsuki laughs and sniffles. "You're damn right I would cry." Her voice is wattery. 
"She explained that after the death of her parents, after Inko refused to take her in because of her quirklessness, you tried to take her in but the courts refused." Nezu tells the story that Izumi told him would impact Mitsuki the most. 
Mitsuki freezes, then she turns to the door and yells. "Masaru!" 
She steps fully away from him and Nezu watches her sit on a large basket with her head in her hands. 
"What's wrong?" The blond man blurts as he rushes over to his wife. 
"I do believe that I have said something upsetting." Nezu says, injecting as much worry into his voice as he can. 
"Take over please." Mitsuki whispers. "I just need to gather myself." 
"Would you like me to tell you about her life just before and after I adopted her?" Nezu asks as Masaru starts his measurements from the beginning. 
Mitsuki nods, still covering her face. 
"I had found Izumi covered in blood and passed out on the street, the foster home had tried to kill her so she ran, due to the trauma and stress Izumi developed a quirk that is rather powerful. I took her to my home, and we started the adoption process right away. As we waited for the papers to go through I took her to a doctor, she was underweight, dehydrated, and had many lacerations and broken bones. Once the cuts and bones were healed I gave her a stack of tests from preschool to what university students take as their final exams just to see where her education was." Nezu couldn't stop the chuckle from escaping. 
"She passed every test, the lowest score was ninety-eight percent for the university general studies final. I passed the tests onto the education board and they gave her diplomas for every test. I urged her to continue learning, in six months she had a quirk counseling license, in a year she had her teaching license, she now has her bachelor's degree in English, French, JSL, and ASL. Once she was fully physically fit she asked to take many lessons that would help her attain her goal of being a hero. This year, as she had met the minimum age requirement she applied to UA, where I teach. Izumi is a brilliant young lady, but she lacks a little in social skills just as I do." A grin spreads its way across Nezu's face. 
"Keigo is a recent addition. As I am not human, the commission likes to monitor me. I bend the law a little and monitor them back. I found a program that I disagreed with, they had paid Keigo's parents to gain control over him. He was being put through training that I wouldn't even recommend to the most physically strong hero, they were brainwashing him and torturing him. I of course threatened them to leak all their dark secrets unless they made a deal with me." Nezu shares the additional information as a threat and as a way to offer support if it's ever needed. 
Mitsuki takes a deep breath understanding what he's saying. 
"Good." Her voice is hard, like she would expect nothing less. 
Nezu grins at her, just a few too many teeth exposed, he gets a similar one in return. 
Masaru coughs lightly. "All done, I'm guessing you want suits, sleepwear, and loungewear?" He says stepping away, his face soft but his eyes tell a story of a man with a steel spine. 
"Please!" Nezu says as he claps his paws. 
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creepy-spooghetti · 3 years
Text
A Hapless Endearment [Creepypasta x F. Reader]
Chapter 7 - I’m On My Way
With fatigue, she leans on the wall for support and stands, weakly stumbling to the sink, refusing to look at her reflection in the mirror as she bends over and turns the faucet on. She gets soap from the dispenser on her palm and rubs both of her hands together before holding them under the water to rinse them, and immediately after that, sticks her face underneath, hoping to rid herself of the foul taste still very present in her mouth. 
She spits minuscule pieces of undigested food into the sink, letting the cool water run over and wash them down the drain without another thought. The sickening stench of bile sitting in the porcelain bowl almost has her gagging once more, so she reaches over, pushes on the little silver lever, and flushes it down into the sewer pipes, never to be seen again. 
Only then does she look at herself in the reflecting glass hung over the sink, not surprised when she sees dark bags under her eyes and unnaturally pale skin, no doubt results from lack of sleep and getting hit by an extreme wave of nausea so suddenly. Her lip trembles from the exertion, her eyes distant, stressed wrinkles creasing her forehead. What is happening? Why is it happening? Why are such terrifying thoughts invading her subconscious each time she goes to sleep?
Perhaps she can blame this one on the news she received yesterday, but that doesn’t explain the strange symbol. Why would she draw such a thing? What does it even mean? And what about the buzzing noise? It’s accompanied each dream she’s had down here thus far, and it made itself apparent before and during she was heaving her lungs out yesterday. It also started when she saw that figure in the woods earlier. Is it connected to something?
She rubs at her eyes listlessly and pushes herself away from the sink at once, switching the light to the bathroom off and wandering back into the living room at a pace much slower than normal. Her eyes trail up from the floor to Marshmallow, who sits on the arm of the couch, eyes narrowed as he stares at her with dilated pupils. Maybe this should worry her; after all, animals can sense things that humans can’t. But she can’t bring herself to care very much. She just wants it all to stop. She doesn’t want to be sick 24\7, or have nightmares far worse than what’s considered healthy, or be on the look-out constantly for something that’s possibly hunting her down. 
She flops onto the couch rather sluggishly and runs her hands through her messy hair, gaining sight of the large symbol that she seemingly sketched onto the paper for unknown reasons. Come to think of it, her hand is beginning to cramp due to how tightly she had been holding that pencil after she woke up, and who-knows-how-long before then. Does she have an illness? Is there medication to cure it? Should she go to a doctor and explain her symptoms? She’d prefer to wait and get medical attention, if it is necessary, once she returns home, so she won’t burden her grandparents with her problems and cause them to worry. 
She knows for a fact that her parents wouldn’t give it much thought if she told them she needed to go to the doctor, nor would they be very concerned. If she told them the reason, having hallucinations, nightmares, irrational and paranoid thoughts, insomnia, they’d probably call her behavior ridiculous and refuse to allow her to make an appointment. Or would they? She is still their daughter— surely they couldn’t just brush aside something like that, right? 
Then again, her father did it with the murder of his sister and the disappearance of his nephew, so she can’t ever be sure. But what about her mother? Isn’t the whole maternal instinct thing still there with her? If her child was hurt or scared, isn’t it natural to be worried? 
She glances over at her phone, still sat on the coffee table charging, unable to rid herself of the sudden thought that creeps into her mind. Somebody to talk to would be nice. But would she actually listen?
Sure, her grandparents are just upstairs, but not only does she not feel like making that trek all the way to the second floor, but both her Nana and Pops are likely fast asleep. They've done more than enough for her already, and they have enough stress on their shoulders as it is. She wants to avoid troubling them with anything else and make them unnecessarily frantic about her health, both physical and mental.
Reaching out a hesitant, mildly trembling hand, she unplugs her phone and unlocks it, scrolling to contacts and swiping her thumb along the screen until she sees 'Mom'. Should she really? What if she disturbs her? Or wakes her up? Even if she did, that shouldn't be an issue once she hears about her daughter possibly having some mental illness that needs to be fixed.
Mental illness is a strong way to word it. She shakes her head, continuing to stare at the call icon that pops up once she clicks her mother's contact. It's just... stressed hallucinations. Or... or strange coincidences. Yeah, that's all.
Letting out a soft sigh, she presses the green button and brings the small device to her ear, hearing it ring several times as the anticipation in her heart grows. Is this a mistake? Should she back out? Maybe she's making a big deal over nothing.
"Hello?" She sucks in a sudden breath, heart rate increasing as the familiar voice meets her ear. How should she start this?
"Um... hi, Mom." Clear anxiety is present in her tone, though she hopes that it isn't as noticeable as she thinks. 
"Y\n? What is it?" There's a hint of irritation hidden in that sentence, but the girl tries to ignore it and instead focuses on the reason she called her in the first place.
"Y-yeah, uh... I need to talk to you."
"About what? You know I'm busy. If it's more questions about your father, you know I—"
"No, Mom, it isn't about Dad." She's silent a moment as she hears her mother's soft breaths over the line, trying to collect her thoughts and put them into words. "It's... it's about me."
"...Well? Did you make another painting or something?"
She shakes her head, though she knows it can't be seen. "It's... weird things that have been happening to me. I-I don't know what's going on but it's really getting to me, and I feel sick and tired and stressed out. I don't know what to do."
"What exactly has been 'happening' to you, Y\n?" Her hand tightens slightly around her phone and she lets out an inaudible sigh. 
"It started out with bad dreams... really bad dreams. Of people being dead, or freaky voices, or strange markings in a tree. A-and I've been seeing things in the middle of the night, or even in the day. I can't sleep because it's so scary and I'm afraid that when I go to sleep I'll have another nightmare..."
"Y\n," An exasperated sigh erupts from the other end. "aren't you a little too old to be scared of bad dreams or the boogeyman?" It's as if a knife is shoved into her chest from the harsh words of her mother, and she fights the tears stinging her eyes, attempting to keep her voice steady. 
"Mom, it... i-it isn't like that."
"You used to complain to me all the time about bad dreams when you were a kid. You aren't a kid anymore, Y\n. You're almost seventeen."
"It's more serious than just dreams, Mom—"
"Grow up. You're a teenager, Y\n. Act like it." The girl swallows hard and lands her hard gaze on the floor, unable to stop the tears from slowly rolling down her cheeks. 
"You're not even listening to me!" She keeps her voice in a whisper but raises it slightly to make sure she gets the older woman's attention. "This isn't some stupid childhood fear. It's something bad, and it's really affecting me..."
"I don't have time for this. I have about a weeks' worth of papers stacked up on my desk and I have to do them. You'll get over yourself eventually and stop being so childish. Goodbye, Y\n." Before she can say anything else, a beep is heard before the line goes dead, signifying that her mother hung up. What else was she expecting? Sympathy? Concern? Reassurance? She should've known better. 
"Fine," she snaps, slamming her phone down on the couch beside her and releasing a huff, "who needs you anyway?" She plants her face into the palms of her hands to stifle the quiet whimpers emanating from between her lips. "I have myself and that's all I need. You're just a... a useless, irresponsible, incompetent piece of crap for a mom." Her fingers run through her h\c locks and she shakes her head, trying to compose herself. "Why are you even a mom..."
Of course her mother would blow her off. Her very own flesh and blood, brush her aside as if she means nothing to her. It's what she's been doing for years now, so why would she expect any different? I'm stupid. I'm stupid for assuming she would be worried. She doesn't care about me. She just doesn't care. She never does.
Soon, her shoulders are shaking as sobs wrack her body. She has to go through this alone, doesn't she? Her parents won't help her, her grandparents don't need that kind of pressure. None of her friends, if she can even call them that anymore, can help her. And they wouldn't. She's the one that left them behind, and they owe her nothing.
She shakily stands to her feet, wiping away the tears with the back of her hands in order to clear up her vision so she doesn't trip over anything, and begins her ascent up the stairs, not caring to bring her phone and instead only turns off the lamp as she passes it by. She walks warily up the staircase, doing her best to avoid looking anywhere but the ground for fear of seeing something lurking in the darkness until she reaches her bedroom, thankful that the light was left on previously.
She's unsure if Marshmallow will even follow her this time and bring her some kind of company, though, considering the aggressive way he was acting just minutes ago, she highly doubts it. Her gaze falls onto her bed, then onto the window that it's attached to, unable to quell the rush of anxiety that goes through her chest. The last time she was in here, she saw... something. What was it? A trick of the light? No, surely not. It was too... strange to be a trick of the light. Not to even mention the droning that formed in her mind while she looked at it. The same kind of droning that was present in her dreams, and at the river with Jack.
Is this normal? If it was, you'd think there would be more talk about it. In blogs, on the news, in books. But she's seen no such thing. Shaking her head in dismay, she steps farther inside, edging her way toward the window and anticipating what may be standing on the other side of the glass. She takes in a deep breath, hoping to calm her nerves a bit and brace herself before peering around the corner, over past her bed, and straight through to the dark woods across from the cottage. 
She scans the treeline, her heart rate slowing down when she doesn't find anything out-of-the-ordinary and releases a puff of air she didn't know she was holding in, her muscles relaxing slightly. Nothing. There's nothing, so maybe, she can actually go to sleep without having to worry about anything creeping around. She doesn't want to sleep, but she doesn't want to get sick, again, either. Although that may happen anyway if she has another unexplainably terrifying dream. She can only hope that she'll get lucky and her mind will give her a break, at least for the rest of the night.
She doesn't know what time it is, and she can't gather up the energy to check. It doesn't even matter, does it? She glances over at her lamp, silently debating on whether she should turn it off to both save electricity and hopefully hide her position to anything that may be waiting outside, or if she should leave it on to give her peace of mind. She hasn't really liked sleeping with the light on, not since she was a small child, but recently it's sounded a lot more comforting than being surrounded by pitch blackness, save for the moonbeams shining in through the window and spilling out onto the floor. 
What's better, hiding or feeling safer? Maybe there's a way she can compromise and do both. Her eyes avert around the room, eventually landing on the closet across from where she's facing. Could she do that...? Wouldn't that corner her? But it would be safer than sleeping in front of a window where some cryptic being can plainly see me. She remembers seeing a couple of spare blankets folded up on a shelf, and she could use her pillows as both a headrest and a weak attempt at a barrier. As unappealing as it sounds, staying in clear view of whatever is currently trying to get into her head sounds even less so. Closet it is.
She steps over and opens the door, switching on the light and glimpsing around for a good, somewhat comfortable spot to take shelter in. Under the clothes? No, too tight. In the little cabinet of old, stored things belonging to her aunt? Again, too tight. She decides on the opposite end of the closet, in-between a shelf and the wall, not too cramped but not too open either. And she'd be able to see the door clearly. That'll work. 
She grabs the two pillows from off of her bed, plus an oversized teddy bear that had been originally sitting in the corner of the room, untouched, and goes back into the walk-in storage room, placing all three items in her self-proclaimed area of safety, before also taking a folded-up blanket from the small stack and tossing it onto the pillows. She releases a yawn, blinking slowly afterward and shutting the door behind her prior to double-checking the room for anything else she may need, only finding her water bottle, and switches off the lamp. 
She sets it on the floor and shifts around everything until it meets her intentions, dimming the overhead light on the lowest setting, then walks back over and sits down, wrapping the blanket around her b\t frame, leaning against the wall, and tucking the large stuffed bear into her side. This is good. She feels secure here. There is nothing that can get in here without her knowing about it first... unless it's a hallucination. Then she can't escape. "I guess that's where you come in, Fuzzy," she mutters, hugging the bear half her size to earn some type of reassurance and consolation she had failed to get from her mother.
She stares ahead of her, at the closed door, waiting to hear something. Waiting to hear the creak of floorboards or the stamp of footsteps, or see the knob to the door slowly twist as it swings open. But one minute passes, then two, then five, then eight. Nothing of the sort happens. She just stays there, her breathing leveling out the more time passes, and she finds herself becoming relaxed. Maybe she should sleep in a closet more often...
She snuggles into the soft, though mildly dusty, coat of the bear, inhaling its old, washed-out scent of vanilla and allowing her eyes to droop. "Protect me if the 'boogeyman' comes in here, alright?" Her voice comes out as no more than a whisper, indirectly mocking her mother's previous choice of words to describe her state before fluttering her eyes closed and drifting off into a surprising, though thankfully peaceful, sleep.
___
His footsteps are almost inaudible as he walks through the darkened forest, his senses heightened due to the gloom around him. He's always more active at night, and it's been that way since... well, since the incident took place, all that long ago. Or was it even that long ago? He supposes it feels longer than what it actually is, probably because off of everything that's happened the past few years. But in reality, it's only been, what... eight, nine years ago? He was only seventeen at the time, and physically, he always will be. If he had been able to fulfill his career choice and live a normal life without meeting her, then he would be around twenty-six. 
Maybe he'd have a girlfriend, heck, maybe he'd have a wife, although becoming a doctor takes years of dedication so he doubts that he would have the time to put that much commitment into a relationship. Either way, he would be happy. He wouldn't have to worry about being hunted by some otherworldly entity, or stocking up on the less-than-desirable diet his body has unfortunately given him. He wishes he could have something normal for a change... like pizza. He would just about kill for some pizza, preferably supreme, but pepperoni would work, too. 
He shakes his head in disregard at his own thoughts, knowing more than anyone that pizza wouldn't ever happen, just like enchiladas wouldn't happen, or cheese sticks, or even something simple like cereal. It isn't possible, and though he accepted that long ago, he still gets certain cravings for things he used to enjoy. If he even tried eating them, now, he'd be sick for a week. One of the many disadvantages of being him. If only, right?
He checks the map on his phone that Ben had sent him about two hours prior, the direction he was supposed to go marked with bright red ink and making it pretty hard to miss. Let's see, he already passed the river, and he knows she took a certain trail to get to it. Just which trail did she take? He would follow footsteps but there's too much grass obscuring the actual dirt beneath, and even though he can see to a point, his vision has still been drastically altered, so he can't make out any pristine details. 
He makes a turn and comes across an overgrown area of the trail he's been sticking with, though it looks like it's already been walked through several times. Up ahead a few feet is what looks to be a dirt road and past that sits a quaint property with a white picket fence, a garden, and a gate. This is the place he's been searching for, right? Guess there's only one way to find out.
Will great stealth, he slinks out from behind the trees, creeping across the natural driveway and up to the house, where he hopes his target is currently resting inside. If she's awake, it would make his job quite a bit harder, and he doesn't want to take any lives if it's unnecessary. Once he's directly in front, he scans possible entry points that wouldn't draw attention. A window? Sure, if the front door isn't locked. He quietly jiggles the knob after opening the screen, only to find that yes, the door is locked. Just his luck, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't expecting it. 
He peers in through the first window he sees on the bottom floor, quickly realizing that it leads to the living room. All of the lights are off, and it doesn't look like anybody is currently active. Releasing a silent breath from his nose, though instantly being hit with a familiar bout of hot air thanks to his mask, he slips his fingers beneath the rim, briefly tugging upward and being grateful when the window slides up without much struggle. 
There's a table placed in front of it, but he can easily maneuver over that. Conquering obstacles is something that he's mastered over the years of breaking and entering other peoples' households, so one measly table shouldn't halt his process too much. With one hand, he holds the strap of his satchel that's been thrown over his shoulder in order to anchor it to his side to make sure it doesn't make any noise, and with the other, he grips the side of the wall, skillfully propping himself up and slipping through the now-open space lacking so much as a thud. 
Once his feet hit the carpet beneath them, he does a quick one-eighty of the room, wanting to make sure he isn't disturbing anything by making his appearance, and closing the window when he deems the coast clear. She never mentioned anything about having a dog, or any other kind of pet when he talked to her, then again he didn't exactly ask her about it, either. Maybe he got lucky this time.
Thought too soon, Jack, he thinks as he finally notices the fluffy white feline perching on the back of the couch, ears folded back as it quietly growls at him. Of course it's a cat. It couldn't have been a bunny, a gerbil, or even a ferret, no. It had to be a freaking cat. When he was still human, he was never particularly fond of them, but now he hates them with a passion. They get under his feet when he's trying to work and trips him, they scratch and bite him, they latch on and it takes a lot of force to get them off. Granted, he can and does get rid of them pretty easily, but they're still obnoxious little creatures.
But he has to admit, as bad as cats are, dogs are even worse in these types of situations. At least cats stay quiet. Dogs, however, he can't get dogs to shut up. Especially little ones, like Chihuahuas and Pomeranians. God, those things love barking. How could anyone want to put up with something that isn't even cute barking constantly? He isn't Smile's biggest fan, but he puts his barking to use. And he never gets in his way. At least he can respect bigger dogs for that very reason because they actually protect rather than just yap all the time.
He huffs, brushing the insignificant thoughts aside and walking farther into the living room, ignoring the growls of protest from the cat attempting to defend its territory and making it very clear to Jack who this place belongs to. Not that he cares, he just wants to get in and back out without much trouble. As he passes the couch, something catches his attention. Not only is there a phone lying discarded on the cushion, but there also seems to be a pencil, and beside it is a sketchbook. 
He leans down a bit to get a better look, seeing and instantly recognizing the large symbol drawn—or more like scribbled— on the piece of paper, completely overriding the original picture beneath it. Not much care seems to have been taken while it was being created, which is normal if it was made during the frantic state that he imagines it to have been made in. It's been apparent to him that Y\n was being greatly affected by him, but now she's to the point of drawing his symbol, his mark? That isn't good. His stomach does an uncomfortable flip, and he spins around, going up the staircase of the house after making sure there are no bedrooms down here with him. 
The hallway on the second floor likely leads to various rooms, his only problem is looking discreetly into each one and identifying his target. He chooses to check the first door on the left, the door inexplicably wide open, only to find a nicer than average girly room. He assumes this to be where Y\n is sleeping, but to his slight surprise, he doesn't see her in the bed. Well... maybe she's staying elsewhere? But why would there be bags on the floor if there was nobody staying inside? Is this someone else's room?
He peeks back out into the hallway, seeing what he recognizes as a bathroom unoccupied right beside a closed door, likely one leading to another bedroom. And at the very end of the corridor is a door also closed. Which one of these rooms leads to her grandparents? Is he even in the right house? He has to be. Unless he's just conveniently landed himself in the home of another individual that's being mentally tormented by the ominous creature, which is highly doubtful. They would know about it.
He hears the sudden squeak of a door as it opens, and just barely catches a glimpse of a masculine figure stepping out into the hallway before he darts back into the previous bedroom, ducking for cover inside of what he assumes is a closet. He closes the door softly behind him, being careful not to make any sound whatsoever, and takes a step back, only just starting to notice the dim lighting around him. He tilts his head up, seeing a light bulb attached to the ceiling, and confirming that it's the source of the light. The question is, why would the closet light be on when virtually every other light in the house is turned off?
Looking back and into the small walk-in closet, he sees a figure curled up in the corner, bundled up in a blanket and hidden behind the clothes hanging in front of her. She's holding tightly onto what looks like a large teddy bear, her eyes are closed, and her breathing is mellow and steady. She's asleep. Good. 
He's been getting to her. She must've thought the closet was safer than anywhere else. He eases closer to her, squatting down in front and making sure to not wake her up. Getting a better look at her face, he can tell that she most certainly is the girl he's been trying to find, and quietly opens his satchel, sticking his hand inside and pulling out a needle and a small, clear bottle of a powerful anesthetic. It isn't his go-to method, usually, he would use Midazolam or even Chloroform, but then again, he isn't currently trying to sedate one of his victims, he just wants to knock her out long enough to bring her back, all without harming her in the process.
He sticks the end of the needle into the lid of the glass container after properly sanitizing it, draws the correct amount needed for the injection, and puts the bottle back into the bag. He snaps his fingers in front of her face in order to test how deep of a sleep she's in. It would be hazardous if she woke up as the mediation was being given to her, it would also be mildly frustrating and make his job even more strenuous. Thankfully, her eyes don't even flutter, giving him the leeway he needs to lightly take her arm, twist it around, stretch it, and stick the end of the needle through her skin. 
He notices when she flinches, but only slightly, and he begins to inject the sedative into her system. He had no trouble locating a blood vein, as he could hear the blood coursing through her arm from several feet away; yet another ability he possesses that makes people fear him. Most could compare him to a vampire, what, with his unnaturally sharp teeth and his constant craving for human blood. It isn't his fault, it never has been. But he's learned to accept it, no matter how disgusting it may be to others.
His intention is that it will keep her knocked out for around two hours, preferably four or five, in case he runs into any delays. This particular bottle of medicine is the only one he has that causes longer-lasting unconsciousness without any life-threatening symptoms, and he got it by mixing Propofol with another mild, over-the-counter drug with lengthy repercussions. Perhaps not the best thing to use, but oh well, it's all he has at his grasp. He isn't actually a doctor, no matter how much he may be treated like one. 
He slides the needle out of her arm, places it into a Ziplock bag, and puts the bag into his satchel, looking down at her when he senses movement. She rubs the area that the drug was injected through, eyes only half-way open as she brings her arm up to her chest, likely wondering where the small twinge of pain came from so abruptly. He stays still, waiting to see if she'll notice his presence or just go back to sleep. It won't be too much of an inconvenience, either way, considering the medicine should be taking effect in the next couple of minutes.
She blinks slowly, shifting around in her position to get more comfortable, and landing her bleary gaze on the startling figure squatting directly in front of her. Letting out a strangled gasp, she tries to crawl backward, though the wall pressed up against her back prevents that and gives him the opportunity to reach out and force his hand against her mouth, muffling her yelps of protest. He can almost swear that her skin gets pale as she takes in his unusual features; a reaction he isn't phased by at all. He's a monster, right? It's only natural to fear him. 
She grabs at his wrists, attempting to push him away and twisting her legs out of the blanket covering her body to try and get a good kick in. Only when she frees her legs does he lunge forward and straddle her, stopping any attempts she may have made to harm him, and looks directly into her wide, panicked eyes with his black, tar-dripping sockets. 
"Calm down," he instructs in a quiet, yet authoritative voice, putting more of his weight on top of her as her striving to escape gradually increases. She thrashes, pulls at his arms, punches his chest, though he makes sure to keep his neck craned back to avoid getting hit in the face. Even with his mask on, offering a layer of protection, it wouldn't exactly feel good. He knows this from experience.
She tries screaming and yanking her head out of his strong grip, though fails, and can't stop her eyes from watering from the utter terror that rushes through her.
"You're okay, just calm down." He keeps his tone gentle, knowing the thoughts that must be racing through her mind at lightening speed and wanting to make this easier on himself. The faster the drug works, the quicker he can get out of here and go back to the base. She doesn't listen to him, either that, or she's physically incapable of listening with the erratic beating of her heart thumping in her ears and briefly deafening her. 
They both sit there for another couple of minutes, her struggling getting weaker the groggier she gets until eventually, her eyes hesitantly close and her body goes limp. Before he does anything, he needs to make sure that one guy—probably her grandfather— went back to bed after using the restroom. Jack knows he was, indeed, in the bathroom because he heard the toilet flush from the other side of the wall, though he didn't hear any footsteps. 
Stealthily, he stands to his feet, walks out of the closet, and looks out into the hall just in time to see the bedroom door close softly. Perfect. Now hopefully it will all continue going as smoothly as it has been so far. He returns to the closet, taking her hands and pulling her motionless body up, and wrapping his arms around her torso before she can fall back down. Making sure he has a firm hold on her waist, he bends down, allows her body to drop over his shoulder and across his back, before standing back up, tightening his grip around her and quickly adjusting to the extra body weight as he turns and steps out of the closet. 
Hoody never told him to grab any of her things, so he assumes that he'll take care of that himself, even though he's not sure how. Is he going to sneak into her house to take them, or just get one of the girls to pick up a whole new wardrobe? Those questions are meaningless right now, he supposes, and he doesn't let it take up too much of his time before dismissing them altogether and making his way cautiously down the staircase, the girl slung over his shoulder making it a little more difficult than it normally would be. 
His hand slides down to her thighs as he comes up in front of the door, and he uses his other one to soundlessly unlock it, not willing to go back through the window with the unconscious girl and take a chance on alerting the other members residing in the household of his presence, drop her, or both, so he opts to go harmlessly through the door. Twisting the knob, he eases the door open, then the screen, inwardly wincing when it lets out a rather loud and obnoxious squeak. 
Not wanting to stick around and take any chances on being heard, he hurries out onto the porch, softly shutting the door and screen behind him, and quickens his pace once he's out of the yard and through the gate. He scans the treeline, making sure there's nothing insidious waiting for him inside, before taking his original path and pulling out his phone. He clicks on Hoody's contact and presses the phone to his ear, waiting for the ringing to stop.
"Did you do it?"
"Yeah, I got her. I'm coming back now."
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rangikuxmatsumoto · 4 years
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It was deathly silent within the office – so silent in fact that Rangiku could hear the minutes ticking by. Each passing minute her anxiety grew, her anger and fear boiled – she desperately started wishing that before the next pass of the clocks hand he’d throw open the office door in some over-the-top, grand manner, blowing off her concern and worry. Her gaze shifted from staring at the paperwork that littered her desk to the clock hanging above the door. Seconds flew by, her panic rising as the clock’s hand passed the minute mark, the arm moving to signal another minute gone and yet the door remained closed, the office silent.
He wasn’t coming back.
Was he?
Perhaps it had been foolish of her to send Toshiro away today; she honestly could use his level-headedness while she slowly fell apart. But she wasn’t given the opportunity for the summons came within the minute. She had been dreading it but there was no point in trying to escape it.
It was never a pleasant experience to find oneself in the presence of the Captain Commander, especially when the summons was not due to good news. Luckily, Rangiku was not alone in his presence; Ukitake-taichou and Kyoraku-taichou were there to help soften Yamamoto’s displeasure.
“Shiba-taichou has abandoned has division, disregarding his rank and position. His disappearance is being labeled as desertion; a full investigation will be conducted.” The commander’s voice bellowed, as his disagreeable mood suffocated the room. “You are required to provide any information Matsumoto-fukutaichou, as the entire Tenth Division is suspect.”
She was glad to be kneeling, for if she had been forced to stand, she was sure her knees would have buckled by now. Keeping her head lowered in respect, her hand balled tighter in a fist. This was exactly something Isshin would do – to rush off blindly, not considering the repercussions of his actions, to not think how it might reflect on her and the division.
“—I’m afraid I don’t know anything about Shiba-taichou’s disappearance. He failed to tell me what he was doing, what he had planned. He kept us, me, in the dark.” She managed to sound convincing, not allowing any emotion to creep into her voice as she continued to stare at the floor below her. She hoped that they couldn’t see her trembling with rage.
“There is the matter of your division,” Ukitake’s calming voice was a welcomed change from the Captain-Commander’s bellowing tone. It was only then that her gaze lifted slightly, to focus on the Thirteen Division’s taichou. “Since you are the highest ranking member of the company, you will be acting taichou until a replacement can be found. Of course, the position could be made available…” She knew where this was heading before he even finished his statement. They were questioning whether or not she had managed to achieve her bankai, if she had, the promotion would essentially be hers for the taking. “..It would be ideal to promote within the division, given the situation…”
“If you’re looking to find someone within the division, I’d like to nominate my third seat.” The words seemed to slip out so effortlessly, as there was no conflict in giving up the promotion, not when she didn’t deserve it.
“—Your third seat?” Kyoraku-taichou’s slow drawl was followed by an amused chuckle, “The boy is rather young, wouldn’t you say Matsumoto-fukutaichou?”
“Toshiro is young but Shiba-taichou…” she paused, why this exchange between the three of them seemed like ages ago now when it had barely been a month, “…had expressed that he wanted Toshiro to lead the Tenth, someday.” Isshin couldn’t have known, could he?  That the mantle he had desired for Toshiro would be thrust upon such young shoulders, oh so very soon.
Silence filled the room, thoughtful silence on their part, uncomfortable for her – perhaps she should have kept her taichou’s wishes to herself, but she would have hated herself if his desires had been ignored.
“And can you realign your loyalty to him? Will you follow him and his command?” She realized the Commander’s gaze had leveled upon her, steel sharp and cold, piercing through her and her thoughts. Her resolve strengthen, her fist balling tighter as nails bit into the tender flesh of her palm. Her gaze flickered from the three captains to her fukutaichou’s badge on her arm before returning to the imposing figures before her.
“Absolutely.”
Knowing glances were exchanged between the three men, this wasn’t a decision to be taken lightly. Toshiro would need to be made aware, he would have to prove his worth, his abilities, he would need to be accepted, approved – but the first hurtle had been cleared. She had stepped out of his way.
“We will need to discuss. Matsumoto-fukutaichou, you will return to the Tenth. For the time being, I’d advise that you be tactful in discussing the matter at hand.” Came Yamamoto’s command before she was dismissed.
When she arrived back at the Tenth, she expected to find the office empty, still in a status of disarray but her gaze leveled on the small figure of her third seat, carefully shuffling paper together into orderly stacks. All the paperwork she had failed to complete, all the outstanding work Isshin had left – completed.
What had she done?
“Matsumoto-fukutaichou…” Toshiro’s turquoise stare rose to meet her soft blue gaze as she hung back in the doorway.
“I thought I told you to supervise drills today.” Why was her tone harsher than she intended? Why did she sound angry with him?
He threw a knowing glance in her direction before plucking a folder from her desk, “I did.” Had it really become so late in the day already? She threw a glance over her shoulder at the clock; hours had passed since she had last checked the time.
The air in the office had shifted since Shiba-taichou’s disappearance. His absence seemed to have sucked the joy out of the room. She was a wreck; she couldn’t even look at Toshiro the same way now, now that she had essentially sealed his fate. It didn’t even dawn on her until now, staring at him in their office, to ask him if he even wanted to assume the rank of taichou. He had a right to refuse – of course, but he was still thrust into the running because of her.
“He isn’t coming back is he?”  His question drew her out of her thoughts. He wasn’t looking at her when he asked, his focus being on the empty desk of their taichou, but she could see how cold his stare was, hard and unforgiving.
“—No. He isn’t coming back.”
She could see it, the gears of thought already turning, he was planning, he was preparing. She knew what question might be the next one to slip from his lips but she had beaten him to the punch.
“I recommended you for the promotion to taichou.”
She couldn’t meet his stare at first, there wasn’t any fear in his eyes, nor shock, and when they did connect she couldn’t help but offer a soft smile. “It was what Isshin wanted.”
He said nothing as first, but she saw him shift in his stance, his gaze shift between the empty desk and her. A sigh escaped him as his arms crossed over his chest before turning his gaze fully on her. “So what now?”
“All the taichous will be informed. If your nomination is accepted you’ll be tested and if – when you pass, you’ll assume the role of taichou of the Tenth Division.” A soft sigh escaped her as contemplated her next move. Slowly approaching him, she kneeled down, her head bowed slightly. Gone were their childish antics, gone was the less than formal, less than professional relationship the two of them had developed over the years. Yamamoto had questioned if she could realign her loyalty, would she be able to go from his superior officer to him outranking her? There had been no hesitation when she had answered and there was no hesitation now. “And if you’ll have me, I’d be honored to stay on as your fukutaichou.”
There was a moment of silence between them before she felt a firm hand on her shoulder. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you Matsumoto.”
A soft smile formed on her features as she looked at him, the stress of the situation melting away as their gazes locked. “I guess that’s true, taichou.”
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nad-zeta · 4 years
Text
Match up 。◕‿◕。
Hello! Hope you are well 💕💕💕 I love your writing and especially how you wrote matchups, they are so detailed and very descriptive. Honestly you’re such an AMAZING WRITER. Had to put that in capitals cause it’s important and you’re amazing. So cause I love reading your matchups I want to request one for myself
I’m 173cm and 63kg ( so 5.67 ft and 118lbs according to google) and 20 years old. I have blonde hair silver highlights and they are about shoulder length. I have straight hair but sometimes I curl them a bit so they become wavy. I don’t wear much makeup, usually an eyeliner, mascara and a red lipstick. I wear glasses cause your girl is blind af. As for my look and style , sometimes I’m classy and sometimes I’m retro. Well that’s enough for my looks.
As for my career I’m currently in university studying for Computer Science and working a part-time job in a company for web development. Very nerdy but what can I say I love this stuff.
Ugh so about my personality , I would say I’m very open-minded, most of the time quiet and reserved. And I think because of that my friends have told me I look like a bitch and I give a ’ don’t mess with me’ vibe. And sometimes they tell me if “I didn’t know you I would probably be scared to talk to you”. This so different from what I am. I always think things through so when I talk to people I’m careful of what to say to them, and I’m almost never rude or disrespectful. Well I say almost cause there are some peope who get in my nerves and make me go off, but it is rare as I’m a very calm person . Those people that get in my nerves are people that are disrespectful to my friends and family, rude people in general and especially those who are rude to workers who work with costumers, people that comment about peoples appearances like their weight and color of their skin or their fashion choices , people who are refuse to listen to facts and science etc. I’m very supportive when it comes to my friends, people I love and appreciate ( it doesn’t matter if don’t hang out with them much) . And if they want to do smth I always give them advices or what to do to get better etc. Also I would say I’m very analytical and very hard to open up. It’s usually very hard for me to share personal information and I don’t even tell my problems and worries to my friends. When I’m with people that I like, I usually smile a lot and I’m very talkative and friendly .I’m also very honest with my opinions and thoughts. If I think you’re wrong I would say so and if you have some toxic traits I would say look you should try to fix it. For example my friend used to be very jealous to her boyfriend and I kept saying to her that you should try to fix it or control your jealousy. Also I’m very curious .Everyone has bad traits and one of mine is that I’m VERY stubborn and I have a hard time taking care of myself. Sometimes I forget to eat or I stay up all night and don’t sleep at all and stuff like that. Also I’m very precise as well as when I talk and when I do tasks .
Now for things that I like : I like swimming ( I stay all day in the sea or lake when when I go by the sea or lake) , I like logical problems cause I love solving them, I like crosswords, I like to play chess, I like to learn about things. I like math and physics ( And I always was the best in my class in those subjects), I like painting but I’m not that good at it. I also like traveling .
Okay that was about it. Sorry if it was long and kinda messy but I tried to give as much info as possible so you can best match me. I saw that you have tons if requests so take it easy . Take care for your self and thanks in advance for doing these matchups. 💕💕💕
Omw you are making me blush😳😳! You are such a sweetheart! 🦋☺❤Thank you for all you kind words, all your comments and likes on my posts! I legit appreciate them so much and i get excited every time i see you in my notifys🦋😳❤🌻, you legit make my day, dear! ❤🥰So thank you so much! 🌻🙌Thanks for the request! I hope i can live up to your expectations and i hope it was worth the long wait! 😂😏🌻I hope you have a wonderful day dear! Sending your lots of hugs and i hope you are keeping safe! ❤
So i match you with…………. Hideyoshi
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You now found yourself surrounded by a gaggle of warlords, all looking at you, in the centre of the room. You had saved the great Nobunaga’s life a few hours prior to standing centre stage in front off all the warlords. After saving him from the flames, you got spooked and ran through the forest, where Masamune swiftly picked you up and plopped you down his horse. Mere moments after you arrived in Azuchi, you were summoned to the council room to decide your fate. Nobunaga sat before you wearing his trademark cocky grin, while beside him Hideyoshi scowled down at you like a guard dog.
You were relatively calm throughout the whole ordeal, that was until Nobunaga decided to grab hold of your chin and made some rude joke. Your calm demeanour slipped, and you gave a man a piece of your mind, which unfortunately was interrupted by Hideyoshi. The second you smacked his hand away from your face and started to speak up, you found a sword at your throat. Your sharp eyes turned to Hideyoshi as you continued to give the man a piece of your mind.
Once you were done, silence reined as you and Hideyoshi glared daggers at each other. The silence was finally broken when Nobunaga’s laughter ringed out, “she is the most amusing fireball, calm and reserved one minute, and the next, she is exploding.” He then smiled over at you and told Hideyoshi to leave you be, thereafter, he named you as princess of the Oda forces. And so your life in Azuchi began.
You worked incredibly hard for the castle and its people. In fact, you might have worked a little too hard as you started to feel the strain of the emotional and physical stress caused by the week from hell. You made quick friends with the maid, but all and all kept to yourself. The younger maids were somewhat afraid of you, most likely thanks to your intimidating vibe and face expression. It was this distinct quality of your that could even send shivers down Hideyoshi’s spine. Speaking of… this man did not trust you! However, because of your incredibly intimidating vibe, he did not employ his standard micromanagement procedure, instead opting to watch you from afar, while gathering intel on you from your fellow maids. Although, that all changed on one cold winters day.
You had been working so hard and taking up so many different side hobbies that you unknowingly neglected your health. You hadn’t slept for a few nights now, being too absorbed in your tasks, and as a result, your body gave out. You were in the library, helping the resident angel sort out the various books when you collapsed. Mitsunari was by your side in a split second signalling his vassal to fetch Ieyasu. Fortunately, Hideyoshi was low key spying on you, not trusting the new friendship that had blossomed between you and his dear vassal, Mitsunari. At first, he thought you were faking and that you were going to assassinate Mitsunari the moment he let his guard down. But that never happened, you laid seemingly lifeless in Mitsunari arms. 
That is when the stubborn man realized just how stupid he had been. How many times has Mitsunari only sung your praise, saying how wonderful and sweet you were, despite the rumour surrounding you.
Hideyoshi picked you up and carried you to your room where he tucked you in. He sat by your side the entire night. Making sure your room stayed warm and being prepared to feed you some food the moment you woke. Ieyasu had told him that you had collapsed as a result of your lack of self preservation skills. Of course he said it in a very much more Ieyasu way, mumbling about how silly you were under his breath, while handing Hideyoshi a care package for you filled with tea and sweets.  
It was the first time that Hideyoshi had truly looked at you, and he felt a pang of guilt spring from his chest. You looked so weak and fragile, you had dark circles under your eyes, and your skin looked so pale. He asked around only to discover that you had not eaten or slept for a few days due to being too absorbed in your work. It was then that he marched up to Nobunaga’s room, plan in mind.
You woke up the next morning in an unknown room, with Hideyoshi slumped over next to you, happily snoring away. Hazel eyes shot open when he heard you shuffling, and a rueful smile came to rest on the man’s face, “just where do you think you are going, young lady.” Halfway snuck out of the the door, you turned around slowly to see something you hadn’t seen since you arrived, Hideyoshi wearing a bright smile. His voice might have been stern, but his eyes were laced with worry and concern. After a long hour of being lectured about the importance of caring for yourself properly, Hideyoshi broke the news to you. That you would be staying at his manor from that point on wards, so he could care for you personally.
He left no room for arguments as before you knew it, this man was dragging you by the hand to a nearby tea-house. He ordered a feast for the two of you to share. You were still rather cautious around him, as you curiously eyed the food before you, “If you don’t dig in, I am going to have to hand-feed you like I do with Mitsunari.” He sent you a rather playfully charming smile, as he pushed a plate stacked to the high heavens with sweet buns towards you. You were quiet and reserved at first, but thanks to Hideyoshi bright, bubbly personality, he had you opening up in no time. 
He wished he could go back in time and smack himself for thinking you to be an intimidating bitch, cause that is most certainly not the person who is now before him. The two of you spent the rest of the day together as Hideyoshi insisted on making up for his mistrust for you, by buying you everything in the markets.
Since moving into his manor, Hideyoshi would spend every free moment he could get, getting to know you. He loved how bubbly and friendly you were. The two of you could legit laugh and chat for hours on end. Somewhere in your various conversations with the man, it came up that you loved the beach or rather swimming. This man was beaming in excitement at the fact that you were a fellow travelling lover. Since this discovery, you best be sure Hidemama took you on lakeside picnics and beach explorations all the time. He loved the way you would curiously look around and the excited smile you would wear. Whenever he was out scouting and found a beautiful body of water, he would be sure to take note of it and bring you back to it, on a surprise date. You never did get to swim on these dates due to Hideyoshi’s mama bear instincts and the lack of swimwear. However, that all changed one day
You and Hideyoshi had hiked to a surprise location, to have one of your classic picnic dates. Before you knew it, you stood before a small waterfall that trickled into a large crystal clear lake. Your eyes gleamed in delight, and you could help yourself. You removed the first few layers of your kimono leaving Hideyoshi to stare after you. This man was flabbergasted and went red as a beet, as you peeled away layer for layer of your clothing. You wasted no time in jumping into the clear water, happily swimming sound. What was even more shocking was the fact that you even managed to convince the overprotective mama to climb in and swim with you. The two of you swam and splashed about for hours.
Hideyoshi had long ago fallen in love with your bright sunny personality. And amid your splashing fight, he couldn’t help but pull you closer by the waist until the two of you were nose to nose. He looked down at you questioningly as he moved a stray lock of hair out of your face, to tuck it behind your ear. You gave him a small smile and inched up until your lips met in a sweet kiss.
Hideyoshi absolutely adored everything about you from your open-mindedness, to the way you would always think before you spoke. He loved that you were purposeful in everything you did. He also loved your honesty and willingness to help or give advice when needed. It’s no secret that the mother hen is a bit over the top when it comes to Nobunaga and his loyalty. You recognized this toxic trait relatively early on in your relationship, and from what the town’s woman has been saying, it was something that had causes him never to settle down and commit. 
The two of you had a rather open honest relationship, and Hideyoshi respected the fact that you brought this issue up. In fact, you were the one to help him with this slight toxic trait of his. And just as you have helped Yoshi with his negative qualities, he has helped you with yours. This boy knows how stubborn you can be and your reluctance in sharing personal information and your worries with your loved ones. Thus the two of you work on these issues together. Hidemama is always by your side to lend you support of any kind. And thanks to your open communication soon you are able to share your personal details with the man and confide in him whenever you are feeling sad or upset.
The two of you are an incredibly doting couple. Hideyoshi LOVES to spoil you any chance he can get. This man forever showers you in love and affection. You see, He has developed a system to help remind you to look after yourself. He makes sure to eat every meal with you, cause he loves your company and needs to make sure you are getting that good nutrition. He will always be the one to sneak up behind you and envelope you in a warm hug to drag you away from your tasks, to come to bed. Where he will trap you in his arms and shower you with love from dusk to dawn. Bonus points, he loves to take warm bubble baths with you, it is low key his favourite thing in the world to do. 
All in all, the two of you sweethearts are usually found nestle in each other’s arms. Hideyoshi loves to hold you in his arms while he works. Sometimes, he might even just pretend to work and spend the entire time watching you decipher your crosswords, all while wearing a fond smile. He will definitely drop sweet little kisses on your cheeks, forehead or nose during these quiet time. In fact he loves to drop little kisses on your face whenever he bumps into you in the hallways. He especially love to see the slight blush creep onto your cheeks whenever he surprises you with a lingering kiss. More so when the fellow warlords catch the sweet moment between the two of you. 
He loves to spend quiet evening with you, simply playing chess and chatting about anything and everything. Just as much as he reminds you to take a break from work he is thankful for you, for doing the same. He cant help but wear his bright smile whenever you plonk yourself down in his lap and distract him from work, while enveloping him in a warm hug and showering his face in tiny kisses. Loves it when you play with his hair while he rests his head on your shoulder returning your hug. He doesn't know what he has done right in his life to deserve someone as loving and tender as you
 He thanks his lucky stars every single day for having the privilege of meeting someone as kind and wonderful as you.
Other potential matches………….. Sasuke
I hope you enjoyed this dear and i hope you have the best day! Sending ya lots o hugs!🌻😱☺🥰🙈
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isthisthingeven0n · 5 years
Text
zoning out : d.d
brief summary: being extremely stressed and arguing with david which leads to you having a stress-induced seizure 
word count: 1k requested: by anonymous - I did alter some of the details ever so slightly, but the plot is still the same warnings: none that I’m aware of. due to this topic being about seizures I went ahead and researched so hopefully the details are more accurate
* masterlistin’ *
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No one was sure what was happening, you and David had simply been yelling to one another. There wasn’t anything unusual about it. 
Sitting beside you, David refused to let go of your hand as Natalie drove you to the hospital. You were still unconscious which was David’s biggest concern. “I’ve never seen anything like that.” David mutters as Natalie sighs quietly. 
“Is she epileptic?” Natalie questions, but David remains quiet as he looks down to you, brushing your hair out of your face as he shakes his head. “Maybe the stress has just gotten to her.” Natalie tries to reason, but all David can focus on is the moment it happened. 
“We were just arguing about deadlines,” David speaks quietly. “and I was yelling, she was yelling then she just went blank.” 
“This isn’t meant to be easy, David!” You yelled as you paced around the living room, thankful no one else was in to witness your fight, something that had been overdue for weeks.
David groans to himself. “Are you even trying though? Do you know how long it takes me to edit? I’ve got business meetings booked til September, brand deals stacking up and then you on top of it all!” His words trail off, realising what he said. “Shit, Y/n, I didn’t mean that.” 
“Fuck off, David.” You state in response as you step away, but David reaches out. 
As he took a hold of your hand, he saw you zone out before your eyes rolled back and you collapsed into his arms. “Natalie!” He screamed, hearing Natalie run out of her room to find you unconscious on David. 
She saw how your body was jerking, and David had tears in his eyes. “We’ve got to go, now.” Natalie let out a shaky breath as she tried to remain calm as David helped you to his car. “Fuck, David.” Natalie muttered as she drove out of the driveway, straight to the nearest hospital they could find. 
David and Natalie sat outside of the room the Doctor had put you in. It didn’t matter how much the room would’ve cost, David only cared that you were going to be alright. 
His leg continues to bounce as Natalie stares blankly at the coffee machine in front of them, seeing figures pass it every few minutes. “She’ll be okay, Dave.” Natalie quietly tells David as she places her hand on his knee, hoping he’d stop shaking. 
“I just hope she wakes up.” David mutters as he sniffs, lifting his hand up to wipe away the tears that continue to fall, unable to stop his emotions going into overdrive. 
Natalie stands up as a Nurse appears from your room, quietly closing the door behind her as she holds a clipboard. “The Doctor will be here shortly.” She politely tells the two of them before walking away without another word being said. 
After what feels like hours, a Doctor appears. Tiredness was evident as he opens the door, motioning for the two of them to follow suit. “Are you related to Miss Y/L/N?” The Doctor asks as he picks up the clipboard, scanning over the details as you lie on the bed with your eyes closed. 
“I, I’m her boyfriend.” David stutters as tears fall. You look so weak, so tired on the bed. 
“Okay,” The Doctor sighs to himself before placing the clipboard down. “your girlfriend experienced some form of seizure. It’s possible it could be pseudoseizure. It’s a form of seizure that occurs during extreme mental stress, has she been suffering from anxiety or a lot of stress in recent times?” 
Glancing over to David, Natalie answers on his behalf. “She’s been taking on new work, she freelance’s.” Natalie explains and the Doctor nods along. 
“Will she be okay?” David quietly asks, the sight of you evidently breaking his heart as he pulls on his sleeves, covering his hands to hide the shaking. 
“She’ll be fine. She just needs to take it easy and she’ll be awake soon. Once she’s awake we’ll do a few tests and talk to Miss Y/L/N about what the next step will be.” The Doctor smiles softly before walking out, leaving the two of them with you. 
“I’ll go get coffee.” Natalie mutters as she walks out of the room, quietly closing the door allowing you and David to have a private moment. 
Shuffling, David moves closer to you. His hand reaches out and takes a hold of yours. “Oh Y/n,” He sniffs as he sighs. “I’m such a shit boyfriend I, I’m so sorry you got into such a stressful state and I didn’t fully notice it.”
All David can think about are all the times in the past few weeks you’ve been vacant from conversations, too absorbed by your work and the deadlines that keep springing up. You haven’t been free to film for the vlogs or help edit, you were losing yourself in the endless spiral of work, and David didn’t notice how bad it truly was. 
“Doc says you might need help after this, learn how to deal with things better.” He strokes the back of your hand with his thumb. “I don’t care how much it is or what it takes, I want you to be healthy and less stressed.” 
Lowering his head, David feels your fingertips moving in his palm. You mutter incoherently before opening your eyes, focusing on David as you squint. “Dave?” You whisper, searching his eyes as he wipes them with the back of his sleeve. “What’s happened?” 
Natalie opens the door, letting out a sigh of relief to see you awake, albeit confused. “Oh thank God.” Natalie places her hand on her chest as she moves closer toward you, standing alongside David. “The Doctor will explain everything, Y/n. You had a stress-related seizure and they just need to make sure you’re alright.”
You blink a few times, still processing what that means. “It’s all my fault.” David mutters as he focuses on you. “I’m so sorry, baby.” 
Shaking your head, you shuffle on the bed to sit upright. “Hey,” You call out, reaching up to take his hand in yours. “couples argue, we get busy and get stressed. It’s okay.” You reassure him as Natalie presses a buzzer for the Doctor to come back. 
“He’ll probably be a while,” She mumbles as she sips at her coffee, sitting to one side whilst David remains by yours, refusing to let you out of his sight. 
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xiubaek-13 · 4 years
Text
Nectar of the Gods
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Prompt: Yoongi + “Not interested, thanks.” + “You’re lucky you’re cute because your taste in music is awful.”
Setting/AU: Coffee Shop
Warnings: None     
Word Count: 2,003 
“No.”
“Oh come on! No one else has a problem changing the station for me.” Your tone grew exasperated. You’d been at this for the past ten minutes and the green haired barista was not giving in. It was half your luck that he was working today. He didn’t normally take the morning shift on a Wednesday. You knew this because you practically lived in this cafe while you were working on your thesis. It didn’t have the best coffee but its baristas, present company excluded, were kind and let you take over the radio if you were having a rough morning.
“I do.” He was the only one who seemed hell bent on keeping you in a terrible mood. In fact, you were pretty sure he got some sick kind of amusement out of seeing you suffer.
“Why? There’s no customers in here. What’s the problem?” A reasonable question. You’d understand if the place was packed and they wanted to keep the easy listening going for the clientele but you were the only customer in the joint. The morning rush had long since passed so you had an easy hour and a half before the brunch and early lunch crowd started to trickle in. A sane person might tell you that you spent too much time here but luckily for you everyone was in the midst of hell week.
He shot you a look that wouldn’t be out of place on a soccer mum who was about to list out the reasons why her child deserved to be picked first for the team. You’d laugh if you weren’t so stressed. “Firstly, you don’t get to make demands and second, I’m listening to it.” He continued to clean and stack the cups and mugs behind the counter, looking a cool as a cucumber - the pun not lost on you - and not at all like the goddamned gatekeeper to your sanity who was testing your very last nerve.
You had three days to get this final edit done. Three days before you had to submit your thesis and today of all days was the day where your mind, having been overworked to its absolute limit, had decided to check the fuck out. You couldn’t concentrate on the words you were reading. Not over the inane noise that was coming from the speakers in the cafe. Any other staff member would have acquiesced and relieved you of your pain but not ol’ grumble mcdickface. Not your most original nickname but you were stressed. “You’re a jerk Min Yoongi you know that?”
He put the mug he was wiping down and laid his palms flat on the counter as he sighed with irritation. Like he was sick of this exchange and just wished that you didn’t exist or that he wasn’t stuck with you at this exact moment in time. “And you’ve become an entitled little shit. Now do you want your usual or not?”
Your kryptonite. Caffeine. You damned higher beings that you didn’t even believe in as your shoulders slumped. This cafe might not make the best coffee but of all of the baristas Yoongi was the most skilled. You kind of hated him for it, which he was well aware of. He didn’t even wait for you to give in and ask for your usual, he simply started making it. You grumbled “I should find another coffee shop, one who has polite employees.”
He didn’t miss a beat. “Caffiends is down the road. I ain’t stopping you from leaving.” He paused as he poured milk into a steel jug. “It lacks baristas who will call you out on your bullshit, seems like a dull alternative to me.”
If you were less stressed you might have picked up on the flirtatious teasing but you were too far gone. All you heard was cruel words and you just couldn’t bring yourself to engage with him any further. Your last coffee was over an hour ago and you were craving your next cup already. “Just. Give me my damned coffee. If you aren’t going to help me get through my final thesis edit 3 days before I have to submit it by changing the music then don’t withhold caffeine from me as well. That’s a human rights violation.”
He scoffed as he finished making your usual. “You aren’t the only one in the middle of hell week so no special privileges. I’m only here because Namjoon has a philosophy thesis due.” He slid your drink across the counter, ringing it up so that you could pay for it.
You didn’t even thank him, merely groaned something incoherent and trudged back to your table. Back to your own little bubble of thesis hell.
***
By lunch time you had only progressed a few pages. The weird mix of soft ballads and hip hop kept pulling your focus, to the point that you’d started to imagine jumping over the counter and smashing the laptop that was streaming the music.
The two of you might not get along but you couldn’t fault Yoongi for letting your caffeine buzz wear off. He made sure that your cup got refilled, even at the height of the lunch rush. He’d just silently appear with a fresh cup for you, place it on your table and clear the empty one.
At some point, you weren’t even sure when it happened, Hanbin - who you’d had the misfortune of being paired with during a particularly painful forensic science class last year - sat down next to you. If he saw the momentary look of shock and discomfort that made its way across your features when you finally noticed him sitting there, he didn’t show it.
“How is hell week treating you babe?” Memories came flooding back to you. Memories of him using pet names every time he spoke to you, of how he’d introduce himself as your partner to anyone you ran into on campus or while you were working together. You hated this guy. He just didn’t understand that you had zero interest in him and that he made you uncomfortable. Even when you’d told him so. He’d just called you funny.
“The same way I’m sure it’s treating everyone Hanbin.” You said icily. “How long have you been sitting here?”
“Woah, you must be really out of it doll.” He laughed. “I got here like five minutes ago. Did you seriously only just notice me now?” He feigned hurt. “My feelings should feel hurt.”
“And what? You figured ‘Hey I know I’ll just sit here and stare’ like that’s not incredibly creepy?” You snapped.
“Aw c’mon now babe. You know I’m not being creepy. You’re just so cute, how could I not look at you?” The saccharine tone he was using repulsed you. You’d been having a crap day before Hanbin turned up, yet it was safe to say that it was now infinitely worse. Before you’d been unable to focus on the words in front of you. Now, you just wanted to drive a fork through his stupid face since no matter how many times you told him you weren’t interested or how uncomfortable he made you feel, he never stopped.
A hand gripped your shoulder lightly as a coffee cup was placed in front of you. You looked up to see Yoongi reaching over you, something he’d never done before, in order to put a fresh coffee in front of you. His gaze was stony as he stared at Hanbin, with his stupid grin on his face, before turning to you, his hand squeezing your shoulder. “Hey, sorry. I know you told me earlier but with the lunch rush I simply forgot. What channel did you want me to change it to?”
You’d never heard this tone from Yoongi before. He sounded…. kind? polite? The fuck was going on? You had no idea what was going on but you weren’t going to pass up the chance to get the music you needed playing. You’d be able to get rid of Hanbin soon enough. “1990’s/2000’s Grunge and Rock.” You smiled up at him. He patted your shoulder and cleared your empty cup then headed back behind the counter, changing the music for you.
You’d decided that you’d either had a mental breakdown or you were having some weird dream because never in your wildest imagination would Yoongi ever yield and change the music for you. Never. In fact, he’d told you that it could be your last dying wish and he’d still refuse. Yet for some reason beyond your comprehension he’d done just that.
You were working overtime to get rid of Hanbin but he seemed set on building up to asking you out and would not leave until he’d wasted enough of your day while he built up the nerve to ask. It was an act, he had the nerve but he felt the need to pretend like he didn’t. God you hated him.
“So what do you say doll? Let me take you out once hell week is over. I’ll treat you re-”
“Not interested, thanks.”
They were the words you wanted to say but a different voice said them before you could. Behind you Yoongi stood with his arms crossed as he stared down at Hanbin.
“Dude, I wasn’t asking you. FYI.” He scoffed.
Yoongi sighed. You knew that sigh. It was usually directed at you if your bickering extended past ten minutes. It usually resulted in him handing you a takeaway cup, a subtle way of telling you to fuck off and leave. “I don’t know who you are,” He held up his hand as Hanbin moved to speak. “And frankly I don’t care but you are disturbing a customer of mine while she is trying to finish her thesis. More so, you have not ordered anything and this establishment is not for loitering. So, whatever it is that you are offering, she’s not interested. All she’s interested in is you leaving so that she can finish her work.” When Hanbin made no moves to leave Yoongi continued. “Oh did I not make myself clear? You have exactly ten seconds to get out of my cafe before I call the cops to have you removed. You’re done here.”
You stared at Yoongi silently and sipped your coffee, not making any eye contact with Hanbin. You figured if he couldn’t get your attention then he’d give up and leave. He was never one to handle having his fragile masculinity challenged in the way Yoongi was doing right now. After a pregnant silence and a muttering of “Dude, don’t make me count. Don’t be that guy.” you heard the sound of a chair scraping and footsteps retreating, followed by the chime of the door as Hanbin exited.
“Why’d you do that?” You asked.
Yoongi tilted his head as he looked down at you. “Well sweetheart, babe, doll. I got sick of hearing your bitchy tone telling him no repeatedly. He either doesn’t care that you said no or he’s a sociopath and I have no plans on my cafe being on the front page as the last place you were seen alive.”
You scoffed. “He’s never taken no for an answer. He’s a fucking creep.” You paused. “I guess I should thank you.”
“That would be the polite thing to do.”
“Thanks Yoongi.” You almost had to force the words out. You were genuinely thankful to him but saying the words out loud was another story. It felt weird, and foreign. You were used to fighting, bickering, and exchanging insults with this man, not feeling thankful and kind towards him.
He laughed and shook his head. “Next time you could try looking less like you’re thanking me for killing your cat and more like you actually mean it.”
“Fuck you Yoongi.” You chuckled as he got up and went back to the counter.
Ten minutes later you heard him complain. “You’re lucky you’re cute because your taste in music is awful.”
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lukeysgirl · 5 years
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swallow me whole | c.t.h pt. 1
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synopsis: nasty calum hood smut w a decent storyline?
word count: 10k+ (i got carried away but like) 
authors note: i know this is so long and intimidating bt its a good read (i think) and youll like it (maybe) !! 
PART ONE  I N V I T A T I O N 
“Y/N! Work better, not faster!” 
Your heart beats just a bit faster as you straighten your back and link eyes with your manager. That taunting demeanor never seems to ease up, causing you to gulp as you glue your arms to your sides. “I’m sorry-- I didn’t realize how fast I was being.” 
The witch who hired me gestured behind me, “then you should start noticing more, Ms. Y/L/N.” You slowly turn your body while listening to your managers heels clink away from the aisle you were working in. You emit an annoyed sigh when you see the cans (that you swore to have stacked perfectly) sprawled about the recently-mopped floor. 
You bring your fingers to your ears, using your indexes to see if you had your earbuds in. But you didn’t, causing you to frown. How did I not hear them fall behind me? You asked yourself in your head as you shake your head and reluctantly went back to re-stack them. 
XXX
“You should just quit already.” 
You glared over at your gorgeous friend beside you, “ah yes, and would you like to pay my bills until I finish my degree and get a better job?” The model could only roll her eyes and smile, knowing that you were a realist and she, in many aspects, was not. 
Merigold Leigh is one of the kindest souls that walks the earth. Although she is a Victoria Secret model, she couldn’t give less of a damn about it. ‘It pays the bills and keeps me healthy,’ she claims as she eats her least favorite vegetables. She listens and holds you whenever you’re at the very brink of tears. She comes around every single time you need her, and whenever she can’t, she calls and gives you every free second she has. 
“I mean, I always tell you to move in with me,” Meri begins with a shrug. She looks all around her lavish apartment and smiles. “You can ravish in my luxuries without worry so you can focus on your studies.” 
You smiled but shook your head. You hated to decline her, seeing as her apartment had way more than enough space to house the both of them. It was a large New York City penthouse, with everything you’d expect a millionaire to have. Paintings imported from Paris, wine bottles imported from Italy. Her entire home was furnished with the most expensive (yet simple) things. It was like walking into a small IKEA. She kept from placing photos of herself or the awards she has won all over the apartment, as she isn’t too bothered to flaunt about her worth. 
You pulled the shared quilt to cover your body more, “if only I didn’t have so much pride.” Meri giggles while taking another spoonful of Fage yogurt into her mouth. The two of you were very comfortable on her gray couch, with both pairs of legs up and both bodies curled up into balls. “Besides, all the excitement of sleeping over would be taken away if I moved in with you.” 
Meri rolls her eyes, “your first mistake was assuming that I could become boring.” You giggle, tossing a few pieces of popcorn at her before taking another bite. “You love taunting me with your ability to eat whatever your heart desires.” 
“Is’not on purpose,” you struggle to say through a full mouth. Chewing it down and swallowing, you glance over at her kitchen, “you don’t have food for regular humans here.” She rolls her eyes once again and threatens to catapult a bit of yogurt in your face. 
She begins to scrape the corners of the container, “I still think you should quit. That supermarket will be the death of you.” You shrug, staring distantly. It wasn’t a bad gig but you can certainly do with a better manager, better hours, and a better uniform. “Green doesn’t suit you well.” 
“But who else will get you discounts at Whole Foods?” You question slyly. Meri could only push some of her natural red locks off of her tanned shoulder. She places the empty container of yogurt on her coffee table and licks off any residue from her lips. 
“Forget the discount; I want you to be happy,” she insists warmly. Your smirk dissolves and you begin to grow distant again. She notices and quickly takes your hands into hers, forcing your attention to return to her. “Working and studying at the same time is bringing you stress and that is something I don’t want.” 
“But I need to work for money so I can pay for my apartment,” you begin somberly, “and I need to study so I can work a better job for more money to get the hell out of here.” 
“That’s so cruel, Y/N,” Meri pouts. “You’re in the city of dreams-- the city that never sleeps! Everyone would kill to live where you live.” 
“Yes, but will they kill for how I live?” You scoff at her words. “I pay almost $700 for a studio apartment that if I literally laid down on the floor and stretched all my limbs, I’d occupy the entire place.” 
Meri gently brings her hand up and flicks the very top of your forehead. “Your apartment is literally a block away from mine and we literally live next to Times Square.” You roll your eyes, still not persuaded. “And you’re studying at NYU-- that’s a dream that only so many people could live.” You still shrugged her words away. 
You didn’t feel special. There’s thousands of students studying at NYU, who live in an apartment similar to yours and have done the same amount of exploring as you have. You have walked around all the boroughs, have tried almost all the cuisines more than once and know the MTA system well. Those are not experiences or skills unique to you as this is one of the biggest cities in the world. 
“You know what you need?” Meri tugs your hands, bringing you back to earth quickly. You listen attentively, assuming she would be spewing wise words. “Some dick.” 
Immediately, you retract your hands, your sudden movement causing your bowl of popcorn to fall on the floor. You quickly get on the floor to clean up your mess, Meri following your motions. “I’m so sorry, Meri. I didn’t mean to make a mess.”
“It’s all good, sis, don’t fret so much,” the sweet ginger insists as you both pick up the pieces of popcorn and place them back into the bowl. Once the mess was done, you rose from the ground and headed straight to the kitchen to dispose of the fallen food. Meri tails after you, with full intention to continue entertaining the subject. “But am I wrong?”  
You open the silver trashcan and slowly dig out the popcorn from the bowl and into the mint-scented Glad bag. “Meri, I really don’t think dick is what I need.” 
“Okay, maybe I was a bit rash,” she hums behind you, taking a seat on her quartz kitchen island. “But I think you should finally go out with me and live a little bit.” Here she goes again… 
Every weekend since the day you met her, Meri has asked you to go out with her. Whether it be to Victoria Secret shows, bars, celebrity parties, or a random trip to Europe. She encourages the careless for you, even though she knows very well that you have many responsibilities that keep you strapped in. Although you definitely knew that your social life was in desperate need of some flavor, you could not just spontaneously add some flavor to it. You have school to attend to, homework to get done, and bread to get. It wasn’t your fault that you have to be an adult and Meri got to live her best life. 
“Maybe I can get another boyfriend to ruin my life again,” you began sarcastically. “Distract me from my studies and force me to call off days from work. Make me poor again and slack in my courses-- what a joy that would be.” 
Meri huffs, clearly irritated by your words. “You won’t meet another Chris, I pinky swear.” 
The very name she emitted made you want to vomit. Knowing alone that he existed erupted discomfort all over your body. There are days where you could be fine being reminded of him, but other days absolutely defeat you. Socializing would just lead to another Chris and although that’s very narrow-minded of you, you were just too afraid to risk it. 
“Even so,” you begin as you bring the empty bowl towards the kitchen sink. Turning the faucet on, you take the initiative and start washing the buttery dish. “Partying is your thing. I don’t necessarily fit in the party scene.” 
“That’s because you refuse to go to parties,” Meri pointed out a fact. You could feel her right behind her, her warm breath right on the back of your neck. She clung her hands on your shoulders and squeezed them gently. “Just one night and I’ll never ask you again.” 
...One night really couldn’t hurt, could it? Wait, no, stop. Meri was good at being persuasive but when it came to parties, you are extremely adamant. You didn’t favor being in the position of being surrounded by many drunk people, potentially being touched by them and then sweating out buckets due to the summer heat and the cramped space. That idea did not appeal in any way. 
“But Meri-eeeeee!” Whining was a very good tactic for you, as it typically worked. But Meri was not having it this time around. As soon as you finished washing your hands and shutting off the faucet, she turns you around and forces you to face her. 
“You’re sleeping over this weekend, right?” Merigold begins with facts. You nod, unsure as to where she was going with this. “That means you finished all your homework due for the coming week, yes?” You nod again. “That also means you don’t work this weekend?” Another nod. “Perfect. We’re going the fuck out, bitch.”
You accidentally nod from the pattern but completely shake your head when realizing it had actually been broken. “I-- wait, Meri, no. I’m not going out--” but she had shut you up with a finger pressed against your lips. 
“It’s Friday night and there's a party happening at one of my favorite bars,” Meri begins to fill you in. “It’s been booked for the night for the event so there won’t be anybody I don’t know. You’re going to let me doll you up like the Barbie doll you’re supposed to be.” 
“I’m not plastic, Meri,” you grumble in annoyance. But her face glistened from the triumph. She easily defeated you and there was nothing more you could do. Plus, seeing her so excited made you feel somewhat better about going out with her. 
She rubs her hands down your arms to weave her fingers between yours, “you’re much too beautiful for plastic, Y/N. I just want to dress you up and make you believe how gorgeous you really are. Live that fairy tale story just for one night.” 
Her green eyes were full of hope and excitement, with a hint of puppy eyes and begging. She knew you already lost, but this had to be the cherry on top. You weren’t going to deny her, seeing as she was so excited to finally go out with her best friend. And maybe it really was time to embrace just how attractive you were and show off. 
You let out a shaky sigh before nodding and giving her a small smile, “alright then; dress me up.” Meri widened her eyes and squealed so loudly, you had to look around to see if she broke any glass. 
XXX
Merigold might have gone a little overboard with the consent you gave her. 
She wanted you to look bold yet classy, bombastic yet very well put together. So she decided to flatten your hair with a steam-powered flat iron (to prevent damaging your hair, of course.) She parts your hair in half so each side of your head has enough hair to cover. Using the front parts of your hair, Meri pushes it behind your ears while pulling the rest of your hair a little forward to create that clean and nicely done hairdo. 
For your face, she didn’t want to do too much. She only wanted to highlight your features (which is everything about your face, according to her.) She lightly applies foundation and contour on your face, with a bit of concealer here and there to help with your stress marks. She fills in your eyebrows nicely and does a red/brown ombre eye shadow that isn’t too much but states its existence on its own. With small wings and a bit of mascara, Meri finishes with a cherry lip gloss on your cleaned and lip-scrubbed lips. 
Then, it was your outfit. And you didn’t keep yourself from vocalizing your opinion this time. 
“Meri, this is a bit much, isn’t it?” You quietly question, looking down at your outfit. Meri was body-deep into her shoe closet, sifting through for a pair of heels that you know you’re going to have some trouble walking in. You haven’t worn heels since your high school graduation. “Meri?” 
“Y/N, you look bitchin’,” Meri insisted while tossing shoes around. You looked over to see her frantically look through boxes of name brand shoes you’d never afford. “These shoes will make it come together.” 
Goosebumps crawled all around your body as your self-consciousness finally decided to scream at you. A lot of your skin had been showing and you were barely wearing much clothing to cover the others worth concealing. Much cleavage had been showing, as the skimpy dress stopped right above your knees. Your chest as pressed a bit, having the top of your breasts protrude. You instinctively hugged your body, attempting to cover as much as you can in the completely white walk-in closet. 
“Here they are!” Meri cheers in success as she returns to you and offers you these fairly low wedges. You took them hesitantly, taking a seat on one of her leather stools and easing in the golden-strapped shoes around your feet. “Are you cold?” Her warm hand begins to rub your upper arm. “Should I put the temperature up in here?” 
You shake your head as you finish up strapping the wedges. “I’m not cold-- just a little nervous…” Meri bent down before you, holding your chin between her fingers while giving you an encouraging smile.
“You actually haven’t looked at yourself yet, have you?” You shook your head, knowing that Meri wanted to complete the outfit before surprising you. She stands up straight once again and offers her hands. You take them and allow her to guide you over to her tall body mirror. It reached from the floor to the ceiling. But before you could stand in front of it, she gives you a good look and a squeeze. “You actually have no idea just how beautiful you are.” 
She pulls you gently while you sheepishly let her present yourself in front of the mirror. You look straight into your own eyes before allowing them to look at yourself up and down. This can’t be me, can it? You looked down at your forearms, seeing the golden accessories hang from your wrists, neck, and ears. 
“That’s… me?” You whisper to Merigold as you continued to scan yourself in the mirror. Your fingers trailed around your body, your skin glistening with gold sparkles ornate all over from all the luxurious products Meri let you use. “You’re kidding.” 
“I’m not,” Meri confirmed. She joined you in the mirror, still in her pajamas and unready but nonetheless beautiful. Meeting shoulders, she smiles widely and nudges you lightly. “Aren’t you a tall glass of water?” 
You were swallowed up by a completely crimson dress, which did wonders complimenting your body as well as your makeup. There were no words to say for it-- you weren’t Y/N anymore. Tonight, you were the woman you’ve been wondering about all your life but never let her out. 
“Wow,” you breathed out, unsure as to how to really react. You then turn over to her and begin to fret. “Wait, you have to get ready too! Is there enough time before the party?” 
“Girl, don’t you worry ‘bout a thing,” Meri hums quietly. “It’s only 6 and I’ve invited my favorite nail salonists so we can get mani-pedis.” You raised your eyebrows at her unnecessary amount of spending and she could only raise her hands shyly. “You’re finally letting me spoil you-- let me have my moment.” 
“Yeah, yeah…” you rolled your eyes while flattening any wrinkle on the dress. But the dresses fabric on the outside didn’t exactly wrinkle so you were all set. “Hey, I have a question,” you started, with Meri staring at you in fascination. “When did you get my outfit that’s exactly my size?” 
“I’ve been waiting for this moment, Y/N,” Meri stares at you wistfully. “Finally, my time has come and my purpose will soon be fulfilled.” 
“You’re so annoying,” you shove her playfully before the two of you go back downstairs to prepare for the nail salonists. Meri failed to mentioned that she also invited her hair stylist and makeup artist so everything could get done at the time. All you could do was shake her head as she begins to explain her outfit to you. 
XXX
“Can I back out now?”
“Absolutely not.” 
You bite down on your bottom trembling lip as you looked through the shaded window of Meri’s SUV. The flashing lights of the city night wasn’t foreign but could definitely burn your eyes. Lines were piled with people who clearly weren’t allowed in with an army of guards protecting not only the door of the bar, but the surrounding blocks. Paparazzi swarmed the area as well, and quickly had taken notice of Meri’s car. 
“Meri,” you begin quietly, “what other celebrities will be here?” 
She looks down and thinks for a moment before nodding, “other models, artists, producers, actors. You know, a typical party.” Your eyes widened, unsure if you heard her correctly. “It’s no biggie, Y/N. You’ll meet them and it’ll be like you’re talking to normal people.” 
“Ah yes,” you spat, “normal people with millions of fans and millions of dollars. Their faces are on the TV I watch and the magazines I barely read.” Meri shoves you lightly and pouts. “I’m just a little nervous, okay?” 
Meri smiles. Her hands carefully hold up the bottom of your head and meets with your eyes. “I promise you shouldn’t be nervous. They’re really just like us; super chill and just looking for a good time.” 
You swallowed harshly, letting out several sighs while keeping yourself calm. You begin to shake your hands, feeling your palms get clammy from the anxious sweating. “Do I look okay? Am I presentable?” 
Meri shakes her head, “you’re beautiful, okay?” She then straights up your back and pushes your chin up. “Be confident, okay? You’re going to shoot arrows directly into everyone's hearts, I promise you that.” 
You take her word and release a majority of the nerves. This was your moment after all. Why should you be nervous when you look like a million dollars? Tapping on the glass, Meri’s security opens the door for you and offer a hand to assist you out. 
Taking the hand, you were immediately blinded by camera flashes. They were deafening, with the added spouts and shouts of the paparazzi and fans stood on the side. You raise a hand above your eyes to protect them as you turned and waiting for Meri to come out. And she does, with a smile touching ear to ear. 
“Merigold Leigh! Look over here!” Desperate calls for her to look over sounded as Meri gave them looks and smiles. She looked beautiful, with her ginger hair in waves and blue makeup done very subtly. Her caramel body was hugged nicely with a cerulean blue dress, flaunting every inch of her curves. 
“Y/N, let me go first,” Meri suggested. You listened while letting her lead, but she offers her hand for you to hold so you don’t part from her. She didn’t see, but you were smiling so warmly from how sweet your best friend was. She’s really one in a million, and you weren’t willing to exchange for anybody else. “Pardon me, my best friend and I are coming through!” 
The two of you made the cement below you sound as paparazzi continue to call her name. But Merigold was focused on getting the both of you in as you and her stood before the bouncers. The bouncer looks down, clearly recognizing Meri but glancing curiously at you. “She’s my plus one, love.” The bouncer nods, not needing any explanation as another bouncer opens the door and allows the both of you in. 
Though getting through was difficult with several fans touching you guys, Meri managed to pull you two in with a fair amount of ease. The bass of ‘bad guy’ quickly coursed through your veins as Meri held your hand tightly while squeezing you through the crowd. You kept your eyes down, knowing that the people surrounding you were famous and owned a net worth higher than yours will ever be.  
Where are we going? You thought to yourself as Meri seemed to have known where she was dragging you. With each step you took, you could feel yourself get more embarrassed. Your legs were completely out and bare, as you felt your thighs rub gently against each other with every step you took. Thankfully, Meri had a solution to the chafing but the embarrassment had none. You just had to deal with the fact that you’re flaunting. 
“Ashley!” You were suddenly halted and lost hold of your best friends hand as you looked up and watched her hug another woman. You looked to see that it was a fellow model; Ashley Graham. Meri told you what you were to expect, but that didn’t stop your heart from running. 
“Meri, how are you?” The brunette model hums excitedly. You listened to the ‘duh’ of the song before the beat gently dropped. You watched their happy reunion as fellow models you were familiar with had joined in and exchanged hugs. But Meri made the exchange quick so she could pull you in and introduce you. 
“Ladies, this is my bestest friend, Y/N,” Meri begins while putting her arm around you. You smile shyly, recognizes the few faces you’ve met several times due to Meri’s work. But you respected Ashley Graham a lot and put out your hand. 
“It’s very nice to meet you,” you started as Ashley got closer to hear you more properly. “You look gorgeous tonight.” White pearls gleam as she returns the handshake. 
“Awh, thank you,” Ashley kindly takes the compliment and eyes you up and down. “You look just as beautiful-- I mean, look at you! Are you not a model as well?” You cheeks went hot as you waved your hands and shook your head. Meri shook her head to confirm it and Ashley remained wide-eyed. “That’s shocking. You’d be an amazing model.” 
You shook your head, “I think Meri should be the model between us. I’m too busy studying in NYU anyways.” Meri grinned, squeezing you a little closer as you listened to the next verse of the tune come in. 
“She’s my study bug.” Meri smiles warmly at you, “she tends to study a little too much but I love her all the same.” 
Everyone chimed in with giggles as you rolled your eyes. Words are flung all through the conversation until you and Meri divide. She went ahead to talk to her fellow models (likely about their work) as you decided to take a seat beside Ashley. The wedges, though comfortable, were finally starting to bother you. 
Ashley quickly spews a drink to the bartender and gives you a look while she waits. “Did you not bring a purse with you, Y/N?” 
You looked down at your crossed legs, placing your hand down where your phone is, “Meri told me I wouldn’t need to bring my wallet or anything so I only brought my phone with me.” She looks down to see where your hand was. “But my ID and credit card are in my case.”
“Do you have it strapped against your thigh?” You nod. “Y/N, you’re absolutely clever.” You laugh while doing a small bow. She joins in the laughter and you exchange a few more words until Meri comes and interrupts. 
“I feel terrible to cut this short, but Ash we’ve gotta go,” Meri informs. She gives her a puzzled face, “our managers are looking for us. Y/N, you stay here.” You nod, following through with your given instructions as you watch the beautiful women wave at you before being dissolved into the crowd of people. 
Subconsciously, your eyes began to scan the crowd and felt your eyebrows rise. The Jonas Brothers are here? What kind of event was this exactly? Feeling the intimidation from being surrounded by so many known people, you decide to turn back to face the bartenders. But as you did, you met eyes with the bartender that had finished making Ashley’s drink. 
“Oh, she had to go do something,” you explained as you began to reach for your phone, “how much is the drink? I’ll pay for her.” The bartender smiled warmly at you and waved his hand. He began walking away, having you assume it was on the house. 
You bring the small glass cup close to you, having you look down to see several cubes of eyes and a small amount of a transparent substance. You gave it a whiff before concluding it was vodka. Bringing it up to see the bottom, you squint your eyes to notice there were some sort of flakes in it. What in the world… 
“It's a shot of Gold Flakes Supreme,” the bartender returned with a rag and a small glass in his hands. You met with his azure eyes, nodding at the information before putting the drink down and pushing it slightly away from you. “You don’t want it?” 
“It wasn’t meant for me,” you reply simply, “plus, I don’t drink much.” The bartender nodded but gave the small glass a push. “Uh…?” 
“I wouldn’t want it to go to waste,” he begins with a smirk. “A beautiful girl like you deserves at least one expensive drink tonight.” You blush, looking down at the polished dark oak bar as he pushes it into your peripheral vision. With your elbows leaned against it, you support your head with your hands and wistfully stared down at the drink. “Though, you must be used to drinking such luxurious drinks like this one.” 
You kept blushing as you met his eyes again and shook your head, “o-oh no, I’m not famous!” His eyes widen but you laugh it off, “my best friend is a model and wanted me to come with.” The bartender comprehends and smiles a little cheekier. 
“That explains how kind you are,” the bartender begins, “many celebrities are more stuck up.” You shrugged. 
“I take it you’ve met many celebrities,” you put out. Right at your last word, someone calls for the bartender and he glances back. He winks at you before turning away to serve another customer. 
You felt your cheeks warm. No! You began to scold yourself. Cupping your cheeks, you tried cooling yourself off with your cold hands. For the sake of your career, you were not going to immediately fall for a man so easily. You didn’t even catch his name. 
While you were working away your thoughts, you felt an abrupt and harsh thud beside you. Turning slowly, you were met with a large man who seemed to be absolutely fuming. Your eyes scanned this man up and down, the sound of Eastside and his grown fusing together. And the man was very quick to notice your staring as he snapped his neck towards you, his brown orbs full of intimidation. “Can I help you?” 
You found yourself distracted by how attractive this man was. Though the strobe lights made it difficult to tell, his skin was clearly sun-kissed. His jawline was sharp and obvious, but those chubby cheeks of his made them slightly less daunting. His nose was fairly big with facial hair randomly ornate about his face-- but he was handsome. Dark circles sat under his eyes, but those brown orbs were absorbing you completely. 
“Hey!” A deep and strained voice brought you back to reality. You blink a few times before looking at the buzzed-cut man glaring down at you. “The fuck you lookin’ at?” Attitude. 
You quickly look away and mutter a small “nothing.” He nods and turns back towards the bar, snapping a bartender his way. You glanced over, noticing that this man was completely in black. A black dress shirt tucked into what seemed like a shinier (and darker) pair of black pants. You let your eyes wander away once again, your nerves collecting up and down your spine. 
A different bartender comes his way, in which he scoffs, “fucking finally. Can I have 8 shots of absinthe?” The bartender looked like her soul was just kicked out of her body. She nods anxiously before dissolving into the large wall of alcoholic drinks. 
You decide to put your focus on the bit of vodka meant for Ashley. The ice was watering up the drink, making you feel awful for wasting such an expensive drink. Then, like you had spoken your thoughts, the man beside you asked, “are you going to drink that?” His voice was deep, nasally, and sounded like a warfare between two accents. 
You meet with his eyes again and shake your head, “it isn’t mine.” He frowns. 
“Then whose is it?” 
Does it really matter? “Clearly not yours.” The man raised his eyebrows in shock. You, too, were shocked by the sass that left your tongue. You watched as he clicked his tongue against his bottom teeth. 
“Do I know you?” He asked condescendingly. 
You shook your head. “Do I know you?” The bartender returned to the man with the 8 shots he requested. The shots were full of this dark green liquid that made your liver already want to hurt. He nods away the bartender before returning to you with a smirk. 
“You’re not famous, are you?” You shake your head. “A plus one?” You nod. He nods slowly before preparing to pick up one of the shots he ordered. 
“I take it you aren’t a plus one?” He follows you and shakes his head. “Makes sense. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person without a net worth here.” You watched his plump, soft lips hold onto part of the shots rim and downs the shot with ease. He grimaces from the taste and shrugs. 
“And you don’t know who I am?” He asks while recuperating from the shot of poison he just drank. 
You shrug, “I’m sorry, am I supposed to?” The man chuckles and shakes his head. “Are you an actor, artist, producer-- model?”
He emits a raspy chuckle, “do I look attractive enough to be a model?” You could feel your cheeks tint pink. He smiles at this, having you notice that he has a very sweet smile. It makes him much more appealing compared to the angry expression he held when he first came over. “I’m in a band. I play bass.” 
“Oh, cool.” You were genuinely impressed. Though you have no other celebrity to compare to aside from Meri, this man must have talent if he’s at this bar right now. “I’m sorry if I was rude earlier.” 
“Ah no, it’s my fault,” the man admits as he waves off your apology. “I’ve been crabby all night and decided I wanted a drink.” 
“That’s not the best coping mechanism, you know,” you commented as he took another shot. He grimaces yet again and slams the empty shot glass on the table. The man suddenly got closer to you, causing you to back off slightly. “H-hey--” 
“I’m sorry,” he speaks a little louder, “I can’t hear you too well over the music.” Eastside was blaring pretty loudly, you had to admit. You eased up and nodded. “I know I shouldn’t drink, but my life feels like it's falling apart.” 
“Are you stressed out?” You asked politely, your voice much softer and kinder. “I can imagine being famous isn’t easy.” The man shrugged. 
“That’s always going to stress me out, you know?” You nodded. “But I’ve recently received some shitty news, which only brought shittier news.” You frowned. You felt his words completely. “I’m just kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place.” 
Aren’t we all? You felt kind of bad. Even though he’s famous and could have everything, he’s still human and has the potential of losing things, too. And drinking doesn’t seem like his best friend either. He must be having a pretty hard time. And you weren’t sure why, but you decided to take the shot of watering vodka and forced it down your throat. The man beside you sat and watched as you coughed from the disgusting and very warm drink. 
“My best friend brought me out here so I can try to get a better social life,” you admitted sheepishly, clinking the empty glass with your acrylic nails. “But I’m not famous so I don’t know what she expects from me.” 
The man keeps quiet for a moment before slowly sliding one of his shots to you, “you’re doing pretty good right now.” You look down at the shot and smile curtly. He seemed kind, even though his aura is pretty off-putting. “Have a shot with me.”
“I shouldn’t…” you murmur as you bring the shot glass between your hands. 
He holds up a shot near you and smiles, “I insist. You’re the only person I want to drink with right now.” You shook your head but he placed his hand on yours. You flushed up, feeling the hard and dry calluses ornate on his large hand. “Please.”
His voice emanated pure defeat, like he had nobody else but you. There was a touch of beg, and there was only so much you could do to resist such an irresistible man. With a shaky sigh, you pick up the shot and meet his eyes. “Fuck it.”
An hour passes, and each of you were full of shots and giggles. You two bounces off of each other from conversation with ease, like a perfectly made algorithm. He explained his broken accent, as he’s originally from Australia but had unfortunately been Americanized from fame. He told you of all the lovely experiences he’s had traveling all around Asian and Europe with his band mates who also happened to be his best friends. Listening to how content he was telling you these stories made you glad for his mood change. 
Even if the two of you were a bit too tipsy. 
“You know, you’re a really good listener,” Calum began seriously. He was a very chill drunk, extremely collected with very few slurred words. “Thank you for lending me your ears.” 
You nodded, feeling your head heavy from the motion, “I get that a lot.” You felt a little sluggish, your eyes barely keeping up with his. He notices this and quickly whistles over a bartender. Your eyes wandered to see that it was the male bartender from early. He asked for a water bottle and the bartender eyes you worriedly before fetching his request. 
“Let’s sober you up a bit,” the man insists as he takes the water bottle from the bartender and opens it up for you. You feel fingers lift your chin up as you felt the bottle gently sit between your lips. Cold water slowly entered your mouth as you swallowed a good amount. It was refreshing, and tasted so much better than the vodka and absinthe you drank. He pulls away the bottle after you wave it away and lets you go, “how you feeling?” 
“Mmm,” you nod, “better.” The man smiles warmly at you. He then squints a bit before he brings his hand up to your face. You backed off a bit but he stuck out his thumb and began to dab your bottom lip. You could only blink as he gently dabbed away the loose water that remained on your glossed lips.
“Good girl,” he breathed, putting his hand down slowly. His brown eyes were captivating; you couldn’t find yourself looking away. And hearing him call you a good girl made you feel a bit weird. A little bit hot. He seemed entranced, too, as his face gradually came closer to yours. “Hey stranger, can I ask for your name?” 
“I’m Y/N.” You stuck your hand out to him. 
“Calum.” His large hand shakes yours. But he holds onto it, your eyes still locked with his. You smiled goofy. Calum. 
“I like your name,” you slur out. 
“I like your lips,” Calum murmurs quietly. His hot breath tickled your lips, having you realize just how close he was to you. “Hey Y/N… can I kiss you?” 
It was a shot in the dark. But it was only one shot and it’s either a complete hit or a complete miss. Although you weren’t completely in your right mind and should probably be looking for Meri, you really wanted to seize this opportunity. After all, when would a very attractive man such as him come around again? 
You nodded and closed your eyes, bracing yourself for the interlocking. And, without wasting a second, the man by the name of Calum, pressed his lips firmly against yours. They were warm and soft and plump-- exactly what you expected. You felt the way his warm tongue dragged along your bottom lip, savoring the saccharine goodness of it. His teeth would gently graze along your bottom lip while calming it with his tongue. 
His hands quickly worked their way to your face, cupping your cheeks gently with his fingers fairly spread out. His thumbs were lightly denting your face while the other fingers had been gently massaging the back of your head and neck. Calum wanted more and more of you, as if you two weren’t locking lips, noses touching. Your hands found their way to his thighs, keeping you up as you two tried getting closer to one another. 
Calum smelled good. He smelled of clean clothes and cologne, but he wasn’t drowned in it. It made the taste of booze easier to bare from his lips. Your pussy kept clenching, your hormones clearly desiring this man. Subconsciously, your hands crawled over to find that his crotch was protruding and twitching desperately. He groaned into your mouth from your touch. 
“Fuck,” he growled against your lips. Your anxiety quickly rose as you pulled away. “Hey--” 
“N-no, we shouldn’t be kissing here,” you mumbled nervously, looking around the bar. “Others could be taking photos, or paparazzi--” 
“Y/N,” Calum spoke over you. “Paparazzi isn’t allowed in here and celebrities mind their own business among other celebrities.” You blinked a few times, still pretty drunk and attempting to understand his words. “Just like them, I want my privacy. So don’t stress, okay?” 
You nod shyly, causing Calum to smile widely again. “Okay but um…” You pressed your thighs closer together, feeling a bit wet between them. “Can we… change scenery?” 
Calum’s brown eyes glowed, offering his hands to you, “I was just about to ask the same thing. Come on.” He looks around before muttering an ‘um.’ You watch as he untucks his dress shirt and proceeds to unbutton it. 
“Calum?” 
Without answering you, Calum removes his dress shirt and begins to cover your head. Confused, you held the shirt down so it didn’t slide off. You were going to ask but Calum was quick to answer, “I don’t want the paparazzi taking photos of you when we step out.” Protecting my identity, you thought. Sick. 
Calum checked his pockets to make sure he had everything before standing up and offering his hand. You slowly rose from the stool, using Calum’s forearms to help you up. As you did, you glanced back to see the bartender watching you from afar while making a drink for another customer. You look back at Calum and allow him to guide you out the bar. 
“Cover as much of your face as you can, okay?” Calum instructs as he begins to lead you out of the bar. You take in your instructions as you slip through celebrities. You felt like you were going to get stuck with how crowded it was, but Calum had a very firm grip on you. “Excuse me!” 
In seconds, you felt fresh air coat you all over. Your lungs were celebrating from the warm yet refreshing air. But you couldn’t bask in the excitement of being outside as you two were quickly met with flashing lights and shouts. You heard the paparazzi scream ‘Calum Hood,’ allowing you to safely assume that that was the man's full name. 
“Miss!” Several of them then began beckoning to you, feeling hands attempting to reach you and reveal yourself. And they were close, but you had a pretty firm grip on the shirt. His smell was intoxicating and you looked like a nun covering your face with the shirt. But one more grab finally sparked some initiative from Calum. 
He pulled you into his arms, your body firmly against his built torso, “stop fucking touching her!” He spat at the paparazzi, who only ate this up and resumed taking more photos and videos. You noticed from the little hole you had to see that security quickly came and pushed them back. This gave you and Calum enough time to get to his car and escape. “In here, beautiful.” He opens the door to his black SUV. 
You struggle with your wedges but you get inside the car. As he closes the door, he rushes over to the driver's seat and joins you in the car. “You can take that off now.” Removing the shirt, you look around in paranoia. But his windows were shaded so nobody would be able to see the inside. “Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” 
You fold the shirt and hand it over to Calum, “I’m fine, don’t worry.” He smiles while taking the shirt and gently placing it in the back of the car. He looks straight again and presses the button to start his car, watching as everything turns on and lights up. His radio immediately blasted Slow Motion by Trey Songz and you giggled. 
“Shit, I’m so sorry--” Calum begins to apologize as his fingers try to lower the volume. But you loved this song and couldn’t help but jam out. 
“Baby, when I saw ya walking out the door,” you sung, your hands reaching up to touch the roof of the car. “I jus knew you needed somethin’ more.” 
Calum watched you in fascination as you sway your body to the sensual song. His boner had been getting worse and worse as you dragged your fingers down your collarbone and towards your chest. You notice that the car had been running but not moving. You look over at Calum. 
“Shouldn’t you be driving?” 
“Shit, yeah.” 
With that, Calum pulls away from the curb and begins to drive to his apartment. You watched him drive, noticing how muscular his arms were. They were bigger than your face. Your eyes guide down to his collarbone, noticing one of the two tattoos that sit just below it. You bring your hand to touch it, causing Calum to flinch. But his tension dissolves as you slowly trace the lines. 
“Like it?” He hummed quietly. 
“It’s fitting,” you reply with a nod. You begin to drag your fingers towards his shoulder and down his muscular arm. They barely grazed his skin, but it had done just enough to make goosebumps rise. “Does my touch make you nervous?” 
“Nah,” he replies unconvincingly. He quickly blasts the A/C and chuckles, “I’m just cold.” You giggle, continuing your adventure down his side. Your fingers reach his pants, causing you to bite your bottom lip. Your hand swiftly finds itself right on top of his boner, getting a “fuck!” out of him. 
“You seem to have a problem down there,” you mumbled quietly. Calum chuckled. 
“Amazing observation, Y/N,” Calum compliments sarcastically. You roll your eyes as you look up to see car lights glisten against Calum’s face. You look over to notice why he began sucking his teeth and sighing. “Fucking traffic,” Calum grumbles as he begins ot honk. “Fucking go!” 
You laugh at his rage before returning your focus down on his crotch. Gently, you rub his boner, feeling his limb gradually get larger. Calum lets go of the wheel as he’s taken his defeat in the traffic and begins to pay attention to your actions. You look up to see his brown eyes study your hand and his bottom lip firmly stuck between his pearly whites. 
You toy with the zipper of his pants before you halt and pout, “is this okay?” 
Calum nods, “it's way more than okay.” 
You resumed, pulling down the zipper slowly while Calum helped in pulled the pants down slightly. His black Calvin Klein's couldn’t do much as Calum’s boner immediately shot up. The tightness from the pants had been restricting his cock for too long as you heard Calum emit a relieving sigh. Your hands cling onto the waist of the boxers before pulling it completely down. You noticed that he was cleanly shaved before your eyes were on his bare cock. It immediately slapped against Calum’s stomach. 
Without any more delays, you move closer to the drivers while using Calum’s thigh to hold you up. Using your free hand, you hold the 7-inch limb to keep it from slapping his stomach. Veins danced up and down his cock, his tip a light hue of pink. You let out a nervous sigh before bringing your lips to his tip. A throaty moan escapes Calum’s lips as your lips wrap around the top of his cock. 
“Fuck,” Calum dragged, throwing his head back as you licked the man’s cock up and down. His dick was shiny from your saliva, making it easier for your hand to stroke it up and down while your mouth did the rest of the work. “That feels so fuckin good…” 
His large hand takes up your flattened hair, keeping it from distracting you as you slowly took in more of his cock. His dick slid in with ease, through his tip was somewhat rough on your throat. More moans ensued from the man’s mouth as you take him as deeply as you could. He began to thrust up, desperate to put his dick as far into your throat as he could. 
“Shit, Y/N,” Calum growled as he moved the car inches in the slow moving traffic. “Can I?” You felt his hand weave through your hair and massage the back of your scalp. He wanted to face fuck you. You used both hands to hold onto his thigh as a way to give consent. He bites down on his bottom lip harshly as he brought his other hand to hold your head. Slowly, he started to move your head up and down his cock. Your warm tongue swirled around his cock as he shoved it in and out your mouth. 
Your panties became wetter from being face fucked. Although your eyes were tearing up and likely ruining your makeup, you wanted Calum to use your body more. “Your mouth feels so fucking good, Princess.” Your new nickname made you hotter as you gagged uncontrollably around Calum’s cock. You swallowed down the piling up saliva in your mouth, and that made Calum high. “F-fuck, your throat is so tight…” 
He began to go a bit faster, tears quickly running down your cheeks. Your fingers and nails dent into his thigh, holding on tighter as Calum used your mouth the way he wished. A string of moans escape his lips-- he wants to cum soon. “I’m gonna cum right into your pretty little throat, okay Princess?” He informs you, his speed not relenting for a second as you felt his cock get bigger in your mouth. The tip of his cock hit the back of your throat so many times a minute that you knew it’ll be sore later. 
Calum loved the sound of your saliva all over his cock, going in and out your mouth. “Y/N, I’m cumming--” even though you were warned, your widened your eyes when you felt a warm liquid getting forced down your throat. Immediately, you shot up and released his cock with a pop! Sound. You began to cough, relieving your mouth of being stuffed. With that, a bit of his cum still sat on your tongue and dripped down your bottom lip. It was bitter and salty, but you licked the remaining bit into your mouth. You looked up at Calum, whose eyes were suddenly filled with rage. 
“Princess,” Calum begins darkly, pinching your chin with his fingers. His brown eyes were dim and haunting, causing goosebumps to rush all over your skin. “You let some of my cum drip into my car.” 
You gulped. “I’m sorry…” 
“Oh, I know,” Calum murmured quietly. “I’m gonna make you regret it anyways, Princess.” He then reverted back to driving mode as both hands clasped onto the wheel. You sat back into the passenger's seat properly, shifting uncomfortably from your juices leaking out of your pussy. Calum brought his hand to your thigh and kept it there, ensuing silence in the car as you mentally prepared for whatever the unpredictable Calum had in store for you. 
XXX
You looked out the window when Calum pulled up in front of an extremely fancy and expensive apartment building. You watch Calum turn off the car and exiting it. Walking around it, Calum opens your door and offers you a hand. You looked around curiously, “are you sure I can show my face?” 
Calum nodded, “the paparazzi hasn’t figured out where my city apartment is.” You take his hand and allow him to help you out as he shuts the door behind you and clicks a button to lock the car. Several security guards stood right before you as Calum tossed his ‘car key’ to one of them. You glanced back as one of them gets into the car and drives away to park it. 
Calum’s warm hand holds yours into the beautiful and expensive building. The intensity of the bright lights was blinding as you kept your head down and followed Calum. But when you were looking down, you noticed the inner legs glistening due to how horny you were. And you still weren’t quite that sober so you squeezed Calum’s hand tighter in desperation. 
He chuckles at you, “what’s wrong, Princess?” He glances back at you to see your face as red as a tomato. You bit your bottom lip and shook your head, too embarrassed to tell him your situation. Snickering, Calum guides you to an elevator and presses one of the buttons. You looked up slightly to see that they were going to the 48th floor. 
“C-Calum,” you stuttered, looking up at him. He looked of a sadist right then, knowing that you were wet beyond belief and that you were desperately seeking relief. “I need you.”
“You need me?” Calum repeats. You nod your head slowly and Calum was in a short fit of chuckles. “Alright, c’mere.” He pulls you into his body and holds you tightly at your waist. Your cheeks were burning, and you watched Calum dip down to kiss your lips once again. 
You clung onto his black tank top desperately, feeling his large hands slowly crawl down to your ass. Calum rubbed, grabbed, and spanked your ass as you two kissed through the floors. You listened to the sound of the elevator skipping each floor as Calum’s tongue breached into your mouth. It was clear he was the dominant, his tongue swirling around yours and eventually pressing it down before returning its focus to your upper lip. The gloss that was once on your lips were completely licked away by Calum. 
You felt Calum pull your dress up to tease his middle finger from between your cheeks down towards your pussy. You twitched a bit as Calum’s finger began rubbing between your labias through your panties. “Y/N,” Calum parts his lips from yours, “when did you get so wet?” 
You brought your hands up to his face and pulled it down to kiss him again. Calum’s finger pushed into your pussy, bringing your soaked panties along while rubbing the rim of it. You began clenching inside, desperate for this man to stick his finger completely inside. But before he could, the elevator had finally reached the 48th floor. 
“Let’s go.” Calum pulls your dress down and holds your hand once more to guide you to his apartment. You followed him through the lavish halls of the floor, taking a look out the window to see the mesmerizing sight that was New York City at night. 
“It’s beautiful,” you whispered. Calum looked over and nodded. You heard him fish out keys from his pocket with his free hand. He forced the key in to his apartment and opened it with ease. Calum lets you go as soon as you two enter, closing the door behind you two while you just begin to wander in. “Princess.”
“Mm?” 
Suddenly, two large (and now familiar) hands grab your hips and pull you back. Calum turns you and presses your back against the door. He grabs your wrists and hold them against the door as well, his large body surrounding you. “Finally,” Calum murmurs before he dips into the crook of your neck and drags his tongue on your neck. You let a moan slip, feeling Calum’s teeth begin to tug and tease your flesh with his tongue sliding on to ease the bit of pain. 
“C-Calum…” you force out. Calum’s tongue teased up your neck, his plump lips nibbling your ears. You clench your hands into fists, wiggling in his hold as his teeth grazed along your skin. But he halts to bring his lips to your ear. 
“Tonight,” Calum growls, “I’m Daddy.” Your eyes widen as he tugs your earlobe with his lips. “Do you understand, Princess?” 
You nod, “yes, Daddy.” Calum backs up a bit and holds your chin in his fingers. Although you two were in pitch black darkness, you knew he was smirking at you. He releases your wrists but takes your hand again to guide you through his apartment. You follow obediently, your heart pumping quickly from the rush. You weren’t foreign to one night stands, but this one feels different. This one was more exciting, with a thrill you haven’t felt in a long while. 
He brings you into a bedroom. That was clear as one of his walls were entirely of glass and allowed tonight's light to shine in. You notice a king sized bed with a bedside table and a few drawers. Any other detail was hard to tell from your gradual sobering as well as still being in a fair amount of darkness. He turns around and holds you gently by your neck. 
“Get on the bed,” Calum instructed. “I’m hungry.” 
Gulping, you quickly walk to the end of the bed and take a seat. Calum walks over and swallows you in his shadow, looking down at you as he grinned. He tells you to lay down, in which you listen and try to calm yourself down. You thanked yourself a million times for shaving before you went to Meri’s house tonight. As you tried slowing down your heart, you felt Calum unstrapping your shoes from your feet. 
“Mm?” You wiggled your toes to catch his attention. You heard him chuckle from the end of the bed as he frees your feet from your wedges. 
“I just wanted you to be more comfortable.” You knew that you two were supposed to be fucking, but his gesture was really endearing. You felt your heart warm up from how considerate he was to you. But that sweet moment quickly dissolves when Calum starts pulling your dress up and your panties down. “Spread your legs, Princess.” 
Obediently listening, you spread your legs apart. You cover your face with your hands, completely embarrassed by the situation. Calum’s breath tickled your inner thighs as he completely removed the panties from your body. The tip of his tongue first touches your clit lightly and you were already in shambles. 
“C-Calum…” you moaned. This made Calum stop to glare at you. 
“What’s my name?” He growled. 
“D-Daddy, it’s Daddy,” you pleaded with him. “I’m sorry, Daddy.” Calum nods in satisfaction after your apology and dips back into your pussy. You feel his tongue swirling around your clit, stimulating it. You felt waves of pleasure surge through your body, your hands returning to the bed to desperately grab the sheets. His large hands had to hold down your thighs to make you squirm less, his tongue rimming around the entrance of your pussy. 
But he quickly found that dull and brought one hand to your flower. Calum forces his middle finger in first, having you arch your back in pure bliss. Moans drip out from your lips as you hear the sipping and slurping sounds of Calum eating you out with his plump lips. He thumbed aggressively against your clit, beads of sweat began to collect on your forehead and neck. 
“Y-you’re going so f-fast,” you stutter, “it's t-too much…” 
Completely ignoring your breathless warnings, Calum laps his tongue around your clit. He digs two fingers into you, sending sparks all around. You pull at the sheets desperately, your breathing completely off tempo. He thrusts his long fingers in and out slowly, spraying some of your cum out onto the bed. “I’ll be the judge of that,” Calum’s hoarse voice speaks against your flower. 
Eventually, Calum bends his fingers at your g-spot right behind your clit and you writhe in pure euphoria. He smirks at your reaction and keeps doing it while circling around your clit (which had been gradually becoming swollen by his constant touch.) Your climax was closing in on you as Calum start leaving wet kisses all over your thighs, fingers still inside you. He slips his index finger in and you curl your toes. “S-so close…” you moan, thrusting a little bit to get his fingers deeper inside. 
He keeps going but immediately notices the thigh strap with your phone stuck in it. Carefully, he pulls it out of your thigh and puts it beside you on the bed. He’s intrigued by this and keeps it in his head while he continued to pleasure you. “D-Daddy, please,” you shrieked, your nails threatening to poke holes through his sheets. Then, seconds before reaching your climax, your euphoric state comes to a halt. 
Calum retracts all of his fingers and rises from the floor. You glance over to look at him, watching as he rids the tank top on his torso. Though it was still fairly dark, you could his flesh dent kindly to form his wondrous set of abs. You hear a soft snort before hands are offered before you. “Here’s your punishment.” 
Following his lead, he gets you on your feet and holds your face. Your toes adjust to the flatness of the ground as Calum purposely wipes away his lips drenched with your juices with his tongue. He continues to lick his fingers as well, stirring your insides just a painful bit more. This man isn’t human, you thought. He couldn’t be. “Get on your knees,” he murmurs. You widen your eyes, complaints already filing in your head.
“But you didn’t finish--” 
“Are you denying my order, Princess?” Calum growls. He pinches your chin and forces you to lock eyes with him. Goosebumps spread like wildfire as you shake your head. He smiles, “good. Now do as I told you.” 
Nodding, you slide down to the floor, your hands gliding down from his thighs. Your knees dug into the carpet, knowing that it’ll leave rug burns and bruises on them. Calum’s eagerness shows; his thick bulge was right before your very eyes. Your hands carefully undo the zipper like earlier, and your hands quickly pulled down the waist of both his pants and boxers. 
His cock hits his stomach and you could only bask in its largeness. Before you could indulge though, Calum pokes your forehead and reaches for something on the bed. You eye to notice your phone in his hands. “What are you…” 
Calum slides into camera mode and begins to take what you guessed was a video. As he smirked mischievously into the camera, his hand held the back of your head and encouraged you to begin. Both of your hands quickly wrap around his cock to help it into your mouth. A rough moan escapes his lips before switching the camera to record you sucking him off. You were somewhat anxious about it but the video was in your phone so nobody but you could access it. Plus it was dark, so how much could one really see? 
Calum watches wistfully at you as you suck him off the way you did in the car. But Calum was much rougher since he could dedicate his attention entirely to you. With his one hand, he forced his cock deep down your throat and sped up the tempo to his liking. Deja vu. Tears ensued once again, your hands holding onto his thighs so he could face fuck you with ease. 
You could feel his cock twitch inside your mouth, your eyes looking up at the camera above you. Calum had been smiling the entire time, knowing that his climax would be coming soon. Eating you out made his throb cock so hard for you and he wants nothing more but to fuck you. But he had to teach you a lesson. 
Precum slid down your throat, making you swallow around the tip of his cock. He stopped recording and tossed the phone back on the bad. He rested a hand on his forehead, euphoria completely taking him over. But he suddenly pulled you off his cock. 
“Mm.” A string of saliva kept your lips and his cock connected. You clear your throat, easing your throat from the face fucking. Calum grabs your hands and turns you around. With one hand holding the back of your neck and the other right above your ass, he bends you over the bed. 
“Do I have to use a condom?” He presses his body against your back to speak these words into your ear. 
“No, Daddy,” you reply. You were on the pill so there were no worries. Calum nipped at your ear happily before standing up straight. His large hands hold onto your hips, his fingers denting a bit for a good hold. He rubs his cock against your soaked pussy, his tip teasing your entrance dreadfully. “Fuck, please!” 
“Please what, Princess?” He’s a sadist. 
“Please Daddy.” 
You couldn’t see, but you knew for a fact he had a smirk painted across his lips. Without wasting another second, Calum thrusts right into your pussy. You hold onto the sheets, pushing them close together as you dig your face into them. His cock was stretching you harshly, but you wanted him deeper. Your insides clench around, hugging his cock happily to feel his length fuck you harder. 
“Fuck Princess,” Calum mutters. “I love the way your pussy wraps around my cock.” His waist slapped your ass, his hands instinctively going to give it a few spanks. It was too much-- you were seconds from cumming. Your squeals gave you away as Calum starts thrusting faster. “I’m gonna ruin you.” 
Your breathing couldn’t be controlled as you felt an exultant climax finally come. Your release coated Calum’s cock, but his cum was also filling you up. You moaned into the bed, trickles of sweat dripping down the both of you. The combined orgasms poured onto the bed and seeped into the sheets. Calum gave you every drop before pulling out. 
Exhaustion slowly began taking you over while you listened to Calum walk over to his bedside table. Your squinted eyes watch him retrieve two items from the drawer before walking over to the wall of glass. The last thing you saw was a cigarette being placed between his lips before you fell into a deep slumber. 
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
part 2 here
this is long as fuck but this is only the beginning. please let me know if it was any good or bad here and ill see yall in the next part
- gabby xo
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