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#but anyway mine is bad and annoying and forever and ever

orphicdreamers-wp · 4 months

Text

When You Know You Know — Quinn Hughes

Summary; In which you, Quinn and your loved ones recount the early days of your relationship

Content Warning: wedding ceremony inaccuracies, fluff

You laughed into your palms as Jack took the microphone and grinned sheepishly, “Hey guys! I’m Jack, the cooler of Quinn’s brothers.” You turned to your husband, “How bad are we expecting this to turn out?” Quinn laughed, “Almost as bad as Trevor standing up after the minister said ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ and saying ‘don’t nobody say nothing’.” Jack grinned as you turned to face you and his brother, “I have one text from a Quinn Hughes, dated December 9th 2018. Jack no joke, I just met my wife. She’s perfect.”

Jack turned to face your wedding guests, “It should be noted that the first two weeks of December that year there was a horrendous snow storm in Vancouver so I initially didn’t believe him. Until he FaceTimed me the next day trekking through the snow holding a bouquet of lavenders that was bigger than his head, which is ideally a huge thing of flowers. He told me he was going to meet a girl for dinner. He called me again the next day, this time he was demanding to speak to our mom to learn how to make pasta as he was having someone over for dinner.”

Jack’s story earned laughs from the guests. Jack smiled at you and Quinn as he continued, “This continued through the remainder of December and the majority of January. It was nearing a month he’d been needing dating advice. So he called me once again trekking through the snow, but that time he wasn’t alone.” Jack turned to face you with a smile, “I was complaining about whatever stupid crap a 17 year old boy would. And then I saw Quinn get pelted in the face with a snowball. Then I heard Y/N squeal as she and Quinn ran through the snow covered streets of Vancouver throwing snowballs at each other and giggling.”

You laughed softly as you melted into your husbands side into a warm embrace, “I quickly learned that Y/N was perfect for my brother which was unexpected because Y/N is classy, kind and beautiful and Quinn is not. But after meeting her I have never had to question or wonder if my brother made the right choice. Because from the moment I met her, Y/N has shown nothing but grace, love and support for not just Quinn but my entire family. I could not be more proud to say, welcome to the family sis.” Your eyes welled with tears as you stood to go hug Jack, “I always wanted a little brother to annoy.” Jack smiled as he hugged you, “I always wanted a sister.”

You returned to your seat next to your husband as your best friend, Gracie stood up with the microphone, “I hold here a hot pink notebook sheet of paper dated April 13th 2006, it reads ‘GG I have a secret. I have to tell someone so your my friend now that I told you. Mrs Tkachuck’s son is cute. He is always skating at recess. I think he has really nice hair, maybe my husband will too. Anyways I got peanut butter sandwiches for lunch what did you get?’ This was the first note I ever received.”

You covered your face with your hands as you heard your husband whisper, “Please tell me it wasn’t Brady.” You laughed as Gracie continued, “The boy in the note did have really nice hair. Matthew Tkachuck everyone. That note would be seen as two 7 year old girls agreeing that a 9 year old was cute and bonding over lunch. But for me that singular note written in real glitter pen by the 7 year old who had no friends because she didn’t let anyone say anything mean to her. You, Y/N changed my life at just 7 years old.”

Quinn squeezed your hand reassuringly as you blinked back soft tears as Gracie continued, “You wouldn’t know this, because I never told you. But on Friendsgiving in 2018, when I pulled the longer side of the wishbone. I wished for you to find someone who would alter your life the way you altered mine. And then 13 days later I got a voicemail from you at 3 am. You had claimed you found the love of your life and his name was win. I unanimously decided that his name probably wasn’t actually win but more likely Quinn.”

You felt your gaze soften as Quinn pressed a kiss to your temple as your best friend finished her speech, “To my beautiful, perfect, amazing and wonderful best friend. To the rest of your life with a guy who treks through the snow a day after meeting you. PS your husband did end up having good hair.” You and Quinn erupted into soft giggles as you looked at each other. You smiled up at Quinn, “I so would have written love notes to you in teal glitter pens.” Quinn laughed, “I would trek through a million snowstorms to bring you flowers.”

You melted into a kiss as your mother in law took the stage, “My biggest baby. In your entire life I have only seen you love three things. Your family, hockey and the beautiful woman that is sitting next to you. And none of those things are in order. From the moment I met Y/N it was clear to me that you loved her more than anything else in the world. It’s in the eyes. You, Quinn Hughes have very telling eyes. I could tell by your eyes when you pushed Jack face first down a slide when you were 5 and he was 3. I knew from the look in your eyes the first time you snuck out. And I knew when I saw your eyes light up when Y/N offered to take Jack and Luke to hockey practice so me and your father could have a break.”

Ellen continued as she smiled at you, “I knew that you were long gone, there was no coming back. You were head over heels for her and honestly I think I was a little bit as well. For as long as I remember you and your brothers never liked each others friends or associates. Don’t get me started on girlfriends. But Jack and Luke came home and would not shut up about how much they liked Y/N. I knew then that she was perfect for you and she fit like a missing puzzle piece of our family. So it didn’t come as a shock to me when you called me less than a year later asking me to help you pick out engagement rings.”

Your jaw dropped, you hadn’t known that Quinn had thought about marrying you so quickly. Ellen smiled at you and her eldest son, “To my beautiful son and his even more beautiful wife. Watching you two navigate life together has been one of the most gracious gifts I’ve ever received.” You smiled warmly at your mother in law as you rested your head on your husbands shoulder, “So I’m picking up on the fact that apparently everyone around us including us knew from the beginning of our relationship that we’d end up here. Is it just me?” Quinn kissed your cheek, “Nope, definitely not just you.”

#hockey player x reader #fanfic #hockey #nhl #nhl fanfiction #vancouver #vancouver cancuks #vancover canucks #quinn hughes x y/n #quinn hughes x you #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes #Quinn Hughes fics #wedding

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maginxlia · 1 year

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Starring Tokyo Revengers Men In ✰ Caught

Cast Line Up Bonten! Ran, Rindou, Haruchiyo, Mikey, Kakucho, Hajime and Current Shuji

Rated TV-MA

Minors This Isn’t For You

Summary ✰ How Your Man Reacts to someone walking in on You two being Intimate! Steamy Scenes Getting Interrupted!

No pronouns up in here but the Reader has a Kitty

Ran Haitani

✰ The situations Ran Keeps you in its like he wants you to get caught with his dick buried in you

✰ From Fucking in his car outside of the club to fucking you in the Bathroom with the doors unlocked at a Random party, Ran Haitani takes you there

✰ How Many times have Rindou and Sanzu Walked in on Ran fucking you dumb?? Too many to count

✰ Ran Just cocky with it, “Jealous that you don't have a babe that looks like mine? Mad you can't fuck like I do” Ran Singsong as he fucks you deeper while Sanzu slams the door

✰ He's Annoying as hell, Showboating while you cover your face in embarrassment from getting caught as he pounds your pussy like never before

✰ You want to punish him by withholding your pussy from him but it is hard to do with his hands under your clothes and his lips against your neck

Your Pussy was Making Ran dumb as his hands gripped your hips, “So fucking Beautiful” Ran muttered as you met his every thrust

Your pussy worked the man's dick so deliciously as he got caught up in his pleasure, Ran didn't care where he was at right now as long as your pussy stayed on him

“Want to stay in this sweet pussy forever” Ran groaned as he rolled his hips up to slide his dick ever so deeper in you, your thighs shaking as you continued to bounce up and down on Ran's lap

Your fingers messed up his hair while he sucked your nipples, each roll of his hips sending waves of pleasure over you as your pussy held him deep

“Ran. Your dick feels so good in me” you moaned into his ear making him land spanks on your ass, “Mhmm, and your pussy feels so good on my dick” Ran Groaned out

“And I think I'm Going to be Sick,” Rindou said out of nowhere ripping You two from your intimate moment, “Rin, You got to start Knocking On Doors before barging in,” Ran said while holding you close to him

“Why In the Fuck would I knock on my studio door?” Rindou said while glaring at Ran. ” My Bad Lil Bro” Ran said while playing with your hair as Rindou rolled his eyes, “Not supposed to be here anyway. I want your asses out of here before my inspiration gets spoiled.” Rindou stated before stepping out

“He'll get over it” Ran said while thrusting up into you, “ Now Let me make you cum, and then we can Leave” He groaned before licking your neck

Rindou Haitani

✰ Rindou takes zero risk, He fucks you only where he knows there isn't a possibility of getting caught

✰ His worst nightmare is someone walking in on him with his dick deep in your soft walls

✰ He Takes extra care and making sure greedy eyes won't see you naked

✰ The mere thought of Sanzu or Ran Eyeing your body with lust in their eyes makes him sick to his stomach

✰ Would lock Joints on sight if he saw someone attempting to peek in on him dicking you down, He would be fighting his spirit to not harm Ran

✰ His dick is just harder when he knows he got you to himself

Rindou had you pressed into the rug as he fucked you nice and slow. As soon as he had you through the door he was on top of you

Your bodies became one the moment his dick was freed from his pants as he fucked you on the living room floor, Your legs were thrown over his shoulders as his dick went in and out of you slow enough to make you whine

“Faster Rinnie” you whined as he smirked down at you, “I'll speed up in a second just let me enjoy watching my dick enter and exit that pretty pussy. beautiful sight isn't it?” Rindou groaned before fucking you the way you want

Your legs shook on his shoulder as he pressed into you deeper while his eyes rolled back “So fucking tight and taking this dick so good for me” He moaned before latching his mouth onto your left nipple making your eyes water with pleasure

His fingers gently rubbed your clit making you grind unto his hand “Rinnie just like that, feels so good” You moaned as you enjoyed every drop of pleasure he gave to you only for it all to be poured out on the ground

“Rinnie, Giving a Good Dick I see!” Ran exclaimed from the doorway with a smirk making Rindou shake with anger as he covered you up, “Ran, Leave right now or I will hurt you, I fucking swear” Rindou said as he slowly pulled out of you and Approached Ran

“Lil Bro maybe I can give you some tips on how to make their toes curl” Ran Giggled out Making Rindou close his eyes, “Spare Key. Give it to me Now.” Rindou gritted through his teeth while Ran fished the key from his pockets

“I was just trying to be a good older brother,” Ran said while feigning tears, “Uh huh bet you were,” Rindou grunted out before slamming the door in Rans's face.

“Let's Take a bath Babe, cause I doubt I can get hard again after that” Rindou said before picking up and carrying you to the bathroom

Haruchiyo Sanzu

✰ Let's All Be Honest! The only way this will end without Violence or Threats is if Manjiro Himself is the one to Disturb you two

✰ Haruchiyo doesn't tempt fate, he can only fuck you when he knows he truly got you alone to himself

✰ The mere thought of someone other than him eyeing your body is enough to drive him insane

✰ You're the reason his cars got limousine tints and his office has a deadbolt lock

✰ Even when he's high off his ass he still is capable of making sure no one will catch him inside of you

✰ You have to wake up early in the morning to catch him slipping

Haruchiyo woke you up early and dragged you to the office just to fuck you down on the conference table

His hips drove into to your pussy at a rapid but pleasurable speed, “So fucking Good Haru” you moaned as your hands pulled on his tie bringing his lips down to yours

His skilled fingers found your clit as your tongues danced together making you grind up into his thrusts as your legs trembled against the cherry wood of the table, ‘Fuck. ahh you feel soo good Moving like that baby” Haruchiyo groaned as he fuck you even deeper

His free hand pulled your left leg up to fuck you at his favorite angle as he fucked you toward your orgasm, you were so close to cumming when Haruchiyo stopped suddenly and Laid on top of you

“Well. Well. Do My eyes Deceive me or is this Sanzu Getting lucky??” Ran Haitani laughed before his laughter was killed by Haruchiyo threatening him, “Well. Well. My Ass. Leave Haitani Before the cleaners have to scrub you from the marble” Haruchiyo said calmly as Ran quickly exited the room

“I'm sorry we were disturbed baby, You okay?” Sanzu asked while you nodded your head. “First time Ran decides to come in early is the same day I decide to fuck you on the conference Table?? Un-fucking-believable!” Haruchiyo said as he helped you get dressed, “I promise to Make it up to you later, Now let me Handle Haitani” Haruchiyo groaned before kissing your lips and cracking his knuckles.

Manjiro ‘Mikey’ Sano

✰ Manjiro is So Greedy and Needy, He fucks you Whenever desire strikes him

✰ Before Meetings, At the Club, or In his car on the ride home, His dick stays between your slick folds

✰ Swears your pussy is a drug that gives him “clarity”

✰ His Guys constantly walking in on you two fucking but they keep their eyes to the ground unless they don't want eyes anymore

✰ Manjiro won't hesitate to use violence against the owner of the eyes that lingers on your beautiful body

✰ You are his After all and while he decided to fuck you where someone could walk in you two it doesn't give them the right to oogle what belongs to him

✰ His dick pressed against your G-spot as he speaks business with his Men while your eyes roll back in your head is the torture you love

Your Poor pussy was sore as Manjiro fucked you for the fourth time today, “Ride me before this meeting, I know you can do it baby” Manjiro whispered in your ear as he spanked your ass

These words are the reason your legs are wobbling now as you Rode Manjiro dick in His private booth, His lips around your right nipple making you want to pull his dick deeper so you can get your release

“Jiro. feels so good” you whined while your fingers got tangled in his hair inadvertently pushing him closer to your tit, “Sorry Jiro.” You moaned as he groaned against your nipple

You could feel his dick throb in you as your pussy pulsed around him making you bounce on him harder, you rode him well as his hands grabbed your ass making you jiggle more Against him as sweat dripped down your back

“Don't Stop Riding me” Manjiro whispered in your ear as Sanzu walked in, “Hey Boss, That asshole here with sniveling bitch who tried to cheat us,” Sanzu said while he kept his eyes down

“What does he have to say?” Manjiro asked while pinching your nipples as your hips rolled on him, “Fucking Nothing. Said it was a “mistake” don't trust the smell of him to be honest” Sanzu said while shrugging

“What does he smell like to you?” Manjiro said while thumbing your clit, “He smells like a lying bitch who got caught skimming off the top” Sanzu said while his eyes stayed locked with the tile. “You know what to do” Manjiro said as he began thrusting up in you, “ Consider it done Boss” Sanzu grinned while walking out

Manjiro was quick to flip you on your back “Let me reward you for being so good and give these legs a rest hmmm?” Manjiro said while his hips started to fuck you into the plush couch

Hajime Kokonoi

✰ If He's not in the privacy of your two shared home he always times your encounters with him

✰ Is his office empty? Schedule clear? No one around to barge in while he fucks you down? Then come in and get this dick

✰ Not all Plans are perfect Hajime knows this, He has done the calculations for failure and his calculation says failure is slim

✰ If his plan fails… Well he got Money and knows how to bribe properly

✰ Still, it would cut him to his core for other's eyes to see your gorgeous body so he tries his damnest to stay careful

✰ But it's hard to be careful when you’re palming him through his pants so needly

Hajime Loves your Visits to his Office especially when you bring him food and Take him into your mouth like you were doing Oh so well right now

His Dick against your tongue as the noises of you sucking on him filled his office, You can tell by the way Hajime's hips moved off his office chair to thrust up into your warm mouth that he was closed to giving your reward of cumming on your tongue

“Fuck. Gonna drain me dry” Hajime groaned as your hands and mouth worked his shaft so deliciously that he couldn't see straight

His hands were on top of your head trying to control the pace that you were going but it was too late your throat had already made him too weak, His fingers move deep in your hair as his eyes closed while he came down your throat only for his eyes to widen when he saw Sanzu walk in without Knocking making Hajime push your head all the way down on his dick

“I know. I know. bring the Documents in on time, No need to Sco- Woah.” Sanzu said while staring at the Sight Before him, Sanzu Mouth was open for a second before he closed it and pinched himself “Yup. Not Dreaming. I am too sober for this shit.” Sanzu Said as tossed the documents down and left the room

Hajime could only stare in Shock before letting you up “ You okay?” Hajime asked while you smiled up at him, “ Mhmmm I swallowed you clean” You said while licking out your tongue

“Fuck. That's hot. At least it was Sanzu and not those big mouth Brothers” Hajime said while brushing back his hair, “When I get home I'm going to give you a big reward for being so Good but not before dealing with Sanzu” He said as he winked down at you

Kakucho

✰ Kakucho is so sweet and tender to you, how many times he wanted to make you tremble in pleasure on his desk and make you scream his name but didn't because the others were around?? Too Many to count

✰ Kakucho is highly protective of you and takes extra care of where he fucks you

✰ He would absolutely hate for anyone to see your beautiful body or listen to your moans of pleasure

✰ But it's hard to keep his guard up when you grind your pussy down on him and kiss his neck so softly

✰ His worst mistake was telling you how he wanted to make love to you at his office

The way you toy with him can make the strongest of resolves break

Kakucho fucked you on the leather couch in his office, your hands on his strong shoulders while his dick bullied your walls making you arch against him

“Kaku, You drive me wild” You moaned as the tip of his dick continually kissed your G-spot so heavenly with each deep stroke he gave to you, “You feel so good to my dove” he softy Groaned as his fingers rubbed your clit lovingly

Kakucho brought his head down to taste your lips as your pussy brought him to a place he loved to be in. Your pussy sucking him so well that shivers down his spine as his hips kept up the pace that made your toes curl while your nails dug into his skin

“Both of you got lost in bliss as your lovemaking knocked pillows off the couch only for you two to be bought back down to earth,”Kakucho, I need you to sign these docu-” Kokonoi said before his eyes widened at the sight before him while Kakucho covered you with his suit jacket

“I am so sorry” Kokonoi said as he quickly left the room while Kakucho buried his face in your shoulder,”Dove, I thought I locked the door. I am sorry. Can we just lie here for a moment?” Kakucho Mumbled while you stroked his hair

“Of course Kaku. I'm not mad at you” you said while bringing your hands to his face and kissing his lips

Shuji Hanma (Bonus)

✰ Shuji Wants someone to walk in on him fucking you the way you need to be fucked

✰ Their Shocked faces would amuse him as he make your pussy cream around him

✰ He Is Nasty. Hand on your mouth as he fucks you deep on Kisaki's couch while his friend prepares food for you two in the kitchen

✰ “What's wrong with them?” Kisaki asks while you can barely stand, “Oh. Nothing. Just weak in the Knees I guess” Shuji Shrugs as you try to walk off the beating he just gave your pussy

✰ Such an ass about it but it's hard not to fuck him when his golden eyes staring pure sex into your soul while his long fingers tease your pussy just right through your panties

You don't know how Shuji got you out of your panties or how he convinced you to let him fuck you on Kisaki's desk but here you lay with your legs wrapped around his waist as he fucked into you roughly

“Kisaki, going to be back from his meeting any moment now” you moaned out softly trying to talk some sense back into Shuji's Head, “I'm fucking you and all you can think about is Kisaki?? Guess I'm not fucking this pussy rough enough then” He groaned as he slapped your pussy making you clench around him

His hips pushed his dick deeper into you as he harshly sucked your neck making your moans come out all broken. the desk moving under you as Shuji fucked the sense out of you while wrapping his hand around your neck

You couldn't stop your pussy from clenching as Shuji fucked you so hard you almost didn't notice Kisaki walking into the office, “Ahh Ki-Ki-Ki” You moaned as Shuji lowered his Head down to Tease you

“Aww I fucked You Hard you forgot your words?” He laughed making you pinch him, “The fuck was That for?” Shuji said as his hips stopped. “Kisaki” You pointed Behind Him as Shuji's eyes followed your finger and slowly turned his head to see Kisaki standing there pissed

“I want My desk thoroughly disinfected and you two out of here,” Kisaki said disgustedly while walking out of his office.

“Fuck. Guess you were right doll. Don't worry about Kisaki, He's upright but he wasn't that uptight to watch me fuck you” Shuji Laughed as he help get your clothes readjusted, “Now to Wipe down this desk” Shuji grinned before spanking your ass.

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#ran haitani x reader #rindou x reader #shuji hanma x reader #kokonoi x reader #mikey x reader #manjiro x reader #haruchiyo sanzu x reader #sanzu x reader #kakucho x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers smut #Tokyo Revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x black!reader #black writer #anime x black!reader #tokyo revengers x black reader #tokyo revengers x plus size reader #tokyo revengers x reader smut

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saerins · 4 months

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⋆୨ chapter six ୧˚ redefines in every way what love is

⋆୨ if not for you (masterlist) ⋆୨ previous: chapter five - if not for this love of mine <> next: chapter seven - till forever falls apart ୧˚

⋆୨ synopsis ୧˚ neither of you want this. both you and sae reluctantly agree to this marriage, although sae’s dissatisfaction far outweighs your own. with hidden agendas and old flames, will this ever work out between the two of you, or will your forced spark be doomed to fail?

ೀ series: sae x f!reader | wc 13.2k | ೀ content warnings: fluff/angst, modern au, arranged marriage, rich!sae and rich!reader, jealousy/paranoia, third parties, manipulation, mostly from sae’s (& mirin’s) pov | notes: okay i’ve finally finished it !! sorry for the super long break but real life had a chokehold on me (aka my job sucks) </3 anyway ! hope you enjoy sae’s pov , heh he’s so bad at relationships but sorry i love him <3 next chapter should be the last so ^_^

Sae & Mirin; 17.

It was a peculiar feeling.

Up until that point, whatever interest Sae had in life centred around soccer. Around being the best. Needless to say, when his parents weren’t too happy about both their sons not wanting to take over the family business, Sae took the brunt of it all.

His fingers idly traced circles around the injury on his ankle—the injury caused by another player perpetrated by his parents. It was honestly laughable; the extent to which his parents would go to to have him submit to their will.

“Hey, handsome and gloomy.”

There was that voice he loved to hear. It was silly how easy it was for a special someone to make him smile. A warm pair of arms wrapped themselves around his neck from behind, pressing her weight down on top of him.

“Yes, pretty?”

Mirin laughed, that smile lighting up her features. Her lips pressed a kiss against his cheek before she settled beside him.

They were sitting on top of the school building—after lessons, because Mirin had strict parents who would kill her if she ever skipped class.

“Look at you, moping up here all on your own, ignoring your girlfriend,” she mused, body swaying from side to side before her head eventually rested on his shoulder. A sigh left her lips, the graduation looming upon them catching up to her.

Sae chuckled, pressing a soft kiss onto the top of her head, both of them relishing in the moment. There was an uneasiness that pressed in the air around them, but it was one that Sae chose to ignore. Mirin had a lot of things on her mind that she liked to keep to herself, and this was something that happened very often. It could be because of her overbearing parents, but Sae never minded that.

“Sae, can I ask you something?”

It was a timid tone that he wasn’t used to, but he let it slide.

“Anything.”

“Ten years from now, would you still love me the same?” It was a question that made Sae snort, because he didn’t realise Mirin would talk about the future. She wasn’t one to do so. She nudged him on the arm, laughing along with him because it was hard for her to be all down when she was around him. “Hey, I’m serious, ten years from now, would you still love this annoying, hard headed girlfriend of yours?”

At that time, it wasn’t a hard question. At that time, all Sae could see and care about was Mirin. There was never a doubt in his mind.

So he looked her in the eye, his pinky finger looped around hers.

“Ten years from now, huh? Think I would’ve married you by then.”

Mirin smiled, the most genuine one she ever let loose in her life. Only because at that moment, she felt his sincerity. The only person who treated her with any sort of decency in the way that she needed. In the face of her strict family, with Sae, she had nothing to fear. He was all she needed.

“I’ll hold you to it, Itoshi Sae.”

Sae chuckled, leaning down to kiss Mirin on the lips. “Whatever you say, Mrs Itoshi.”

A few months ago.

The news was broken to him like he was watching a news program and the news anchor was reporting on some trivial matter.

As always, his father said such a thing oh so casually, eating away at his lamb chop and then swiftly switching the subject to wedding preparations, as if his son was a tool that he could command at will.

“What did you just say?”

Because surely Sae heard him wrongly? Surely his father did not just mention that he was to be married to a stranger he barely knew?

This was his life, wasn’t it?

“I expect you to behave, do you understand?” His father responds, ignoring Sae’s question completely. He knew his son heard him, he said it loud and clear after all. “Anyway, we’ll pay fifty-fifty and—”

“No.”

There was a threat in his father’s glare, but it was one that Sae was way too used to.

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t care why you need this stupid marriage to go through but I’m not doing it.”

It was just laughable; there wasn’t any panic evident in his father’s expression. Sae should’ve known, he could already feel what was coming. If anything, his father was always prepared. It was plans on top of plans, a contingency for every situation.

“Either do this, or I’ll get Rin instead. It’ll be a pain, but don’t think I won’t do it.”

There were a lot of things Sae hated his father for, but what he hated the most was how Rin had to be brought into the conversation as a threat whenever he didn’t get his way. He knew it was the only way to control Sae, and he wasn’t afraid to use it.

“Honey! Stop speaking like that… Sae, please try to understand, this will be a huge opportunity. It’s the least you owe us, hm?”

And Sae didn’t even want to think about his mother. The one who always went along with everything because she was in love with the money she married into. The one who always used faux concern as a tool to ease Sae into his father’s plans.

In the end, neither of them cared for their kids. They were only seen as heirs. Like they owed them for being born. That they were only supposed to unconditionally go along with whatever orders they were given without a second thought. They wanted robots more than actual children, it seemed.

“You lost your shot, do you want Rin to lose his too?”

It was almost all too clear who sabotaged Sae’s chance at being a pro footballer. All it took was a single moment of disobedience from Sae and sponsorship of an entire year’s worth of tuition to one of his rivals to get his leg too injured to play in comfort.

As much as it sucked, all three of them knew Sae’s answer. And just like that, his father was victorious.

“Besides, Y/N seems to be excited for this,” his mother said, trying to switch the subject.

“I’m not fucking marrying her. I don’t even know her.” The words flew out of his mouth before he even realised it.

Maybe it had something to do with Mirin. With that rumour he heard going around that she was either already back in Japan or she was coming back soon. Maybe it had to do with the fact that Sae had been waiting for her this whole time, that she was the only one he ever loved.

Of course, none of that would change his parents’ minds. Consuming your family’s company would bring them a ton of uplift that could sustain their business for many years to come, something a money-greedy businessman would go to extreme lengths to get. So it didn’t matter if Mirin’s family could also bring in benefits in terms of cooperation—it would never amount to yours.

And it was wrong. It was wrong of Sae to vent all of his hatred to the fact that you existed, but it was the first thing that came to mind.

Why did you have to exist?

��Maybe we should just pull Rin out then, get him to come back here and handle all this.” His father knew not to back down.

“Sae, be a good boy and listen to us, okay? How about this—if it ever gets too bad, we’ll look into a divorce in the future, hm?” His mother was just useless, but she did at least consider how he could get out of it. Even if it would prove to be difficult in the future.

Giving up entirely, Sae walked out of the front door. There was no way out of it, for now. Not without consequences. Dire ones. For Rin.

Pulling out Oliver’s contact, Sae hit the call button, with Oliver picking up right as he got into a cab.

“Meet you guys at our usual. I need a fucking drink.”

Day of the wedding.

To say that Sae had cold feet would be an understatement.

His marriage to you would be within the next few hours. After what, a couple months of informing him that they’d arranged him to marry the daughter of their close university friends? And they left a very not-so-subtle hint that they’d force Rin back to marry her if Sae didn’t comply.

Sae realised that your family’s company rivals his own, but who would’ve thought that their sudden yield to the Itoshis wanting to buy the company would result in so much shit being passed onto Sae himself?

There were options presented to him to meet you beforehand. All of which you had agreed to (or so his parents said) and all of which he had declined. He really didn’t have the intention of playing nice with you, or acting like he cared about you. To Sae, all you were was someone standing in between the possibility of him and Mirin.

But he did see you as you walked to the venue all on your own. Without a car or your parents, dressed in a loose white sleeveless top and jeans, buying a pack of tissues from the old man across the road, giving him entirely too much money for a three-pack and then refusing the change.

Teal eyes continued observing you as the old man bowed in gratitude, and your demeanour suggested that it probably wasn’t the first time you were giving money out like charity. Sae noticed the pair of half moon crescents as you smiled, the way it lit up your entire face.

If he thought hard enough, maybe he could remember that one time you saw each other when you were kids. Just that once. He was five. You were four. He vaguely remembered you excitedly chattering away to him about something. Sae doubted you remembered any of that though. It was only once and even he didn’t recall anything about it until today.

Tearing his eyes away from you, he walked away from the ledge of the window at his dressing room, sitting on the edge of the bed, idly staring at his phone, at the messages blowing it up, mostly of Oliver and Otoya in the groupchat, saying how Mirin was actually back.

If there was one thing his friends were good at, it was detective work that they didn’t need to do. Because by now, Sae didn’t want to know.

As much as he hated his circumstances, as much as he didn’t like this situation, he was going to be a married man soon. As much as he didn’t want to, he would rather forget about Mirin sooner than later. It would only serve more hurt if he chose the latter anyway.

Still, false hope wasn’t what he wanted to give you. There was nothing that he could think of that would persuade him to love anyone else but her. That was exactly why he found himself outside your dressing room, waiting to speak to you.

Your sister was with you, and Sae kept his thoughts to himself; he remembered your earlier smile. You were the prettier one in his eyes. That didn’t change what he had to do regardless. And both of you are similar in a frustrating way—both of you like to mask your troubles with your smiles.

Maybe you didn’t want this either, then?

“Hi, um, it’s nice to meet you.”

You sounded like the most awkward person in the world. Not that it mattered. Maybe the awkward distance between the two of you would work in his favour then.

“I wanted to set things straight before we go through with anything.”

Your expression wasn’t one of happiness to begin with, but the moment he said his piece, your face looked like all the blood drained from it. Sae averted his gaze. He didn’t like hurting anyone, and surely he didn’t care for you just yet, but this was better than giving you any sort of hope.

He needed to keep it up. Even after today. Tonight, tomorrow and everyday. Until he could see that you understand where this marriage would go; absolutely nowhere, but that both of you had to stay anyway.

But your parents had impeccable timing, coming over to the room right as he was exiting. That just meant he had to entertain your family for a few more seconds, nothing too difficult. He had been dealing with his father for his whole life after all.

“So, this is the first time you’re meeting our Y/N right? What do you think, son?” Your father sounded like his father when he was trying to play nice. Suddenly it made sense that they would be in cahoots to force their kids together.

“Your daughter is…” Sae lost himself in thought for a while, thinking back to that smile he saw on you, that genuine smile when you were helping someone. Not this fake one you have plastered on to make it seem like everything was okay. You had no obligation to cover for his actions but you did it anyway. “Pretty.”

And even prettier when she’s actually smiling, he thought to himself as he retreated back to his own dressing room.

Later on during the wedding reception, Sae tried his best to act the part of a happy husband. It was hard though, considering how stiff and awkward you were. You really didn’t have talent for being an actress. He let slip a few harsh reminders, but he was careful not to get too into it—last thing he needed was for you to cry.

You were nothing to him. Nothing but the one he had to marry to get his parents off him and his brother’s back.

So why did he feel a tinge of something when he caught your best friend staring? Mikage Reo, not a bad catch himself, and he had been your best friend since elementary school, if Sae recalled correctly.

That was all he could think about when he stormed back to the dressing room, wantonly irritated by his father and mildly annoyed by your concern. The only reason he could think of for being angry was the lingering feelings of an unresolved first love.

The only one he thought he would marry, would watch as she walked down the aisle like a princess out of a fairytale. The only one who taught him love and gave him the most treasured memories of his youth. The only one who could, at this moment, receive his kindness while everyone else would be dead in his eyes.

And of course the universe would perpetuate such a connection; his phone buzzed with notifications from Mirin. An almost empty thread opened up, and he was reminded of when he tried to forget her when she dated another guy while she was overseas. But how could he really forget her when she came back and told him she couldn’t forget about him either? That if it wasn’t too much, if he could wait for her to come back?

Sae won’t deny that there was a mix of emotions about it, that Karasu had told him many times before he thought she was just leading him on, that she wanted a comfortable failsafe for when she inevitably came back and didn’t want to be alone.

That was the key reason why they drifted.

And now, she came back. She came back and she didn’t get her invite because Sae threw it in the trash because even if he didn’t know you, it was common sense that he couldn’t invite Mirin—not when she was the only person capable of changing his mind. Not when he knew she wouldn’t be afraid to voice herself.

Sae didn’t particularly like you, but he wasn’t going to deliberately hurt you that way. He was sure he would upset you in many other ways, unintentionally, but he told himself he wouldn’t do that to you.

As he looked at her chat thread, at his possible responses—how could i ever forget? and i wish it was you and many more he didn’t have the energy to type out—Sae swallowed the lump in his throat. There was a battle going on in his head; the one that knew what was right and the one that wanted to go with his heart.

He succumbed to both.

Staring at his i miss you, he started to remember how hard you tried to keep up with him earlier that day, how you probably tried to stay at his good side.

With his head in his hands, he felt the familiar flow of tears threatening to unveil—it was a hard decision but he had to make it.

That was it. Sae had decided. He had to let go of Mirin and whatever promises they made.

She had to stay in the past.

As he looked at her nickname on his phone, he wished he could will the memories away. Even as he saw her response. Even as he knew the way she told him she missed him too would haunt him for a good while.

Goodbye.

Stepping into the house you two would share felt more than just a little uneasy. Both of you had never been in the same room before today and now your parents expected the both of you to just be okay living together.

Maybe it was a little too much of Sae to just take the master bedroom and banish you to the other one, but it had been a long day and he really wasn’t a saint. He had expected you to argue back but you didn’t, and that was fine with him—maybe once he cleared his head he could think of ways to make it so things were fairer to you but not now.

Not when he was a mix of emotions just threatening to explode.

It was especially perplexing when he got into the room and started checking it out that he found his things already there, unpacked for him, a familiar black box he had once kept precious sitting on the study desk. He didn’t have to open it to know what was inside.

Apart from pictures with Rin, he really should just burn everything else.

Next time. It was always a problem for next time because he was way too annoyed at life for everything else. Looking at it was just a reminder, too, of a life he had once craved and he couldn’t move forward if it was still there.

Yeah, yeah, he’d burn it all to ashes next time and leave it all in the past like he planned.

The next few days after that, count Sae mildly surprised when you kept trying in subtle ways to ease the tension between the two of you.

There were a few things you did; you kept at your good mornings, and on the days you were feeling particularly courageous you bothered to ask him what he wanted for dinner. He didn’t reciprocate much, only contributed his mornings and told you he didn’t need dinner (although he would note how delicious the food you cooked smelled when he came home afterwards).

There was something strange about the way you made him feel—he didn’t understand where you got the energy to keep trying when you knew this wasn’t what either of you wanted. It was easy enough for him to tell that your parents forced you into this too, but what wasn’t easy was trying to see why you were so good.

What was even more frustrating was the sense of comfort he felt. It was alarming. He didn’t know why it was there. But he found himself trying to reject it.

“Isn’t this supposed to be your honeymoon period or something?”

“C’mon, Oliver, they don’t even sleep in the same room,” Otoya sighed, getting bored of the subject. He was also getting tired of watching Sae’s unenthused face every night.

Ever since he got married, he hasn’t once spent a normal night in. He just didn’t think he had any energy to spend on trying to be cordial with you. Not when a million things are still running through his head in a loop.

It was only 8.30pm, and both Oliver and Otoya were already bringing the big liquor bottles out, the lights in the karaoke room dimming.

“Where’s Karasu?”

“Busy again, with god knows what.” Otoya always sounded disinterested in anything and everything. “Where’s the girls?”

The girls, meaning the usual two that they had as fuck buddies, something Sae didn’t care for. That could be all Otoya cared for, actually.

“On the way,” Oliver replied, pouring the whisky into the shot glasses on the table. Three, even though Sae didn’t want any. “By the way,” Oliver said, a hint of mischief in his eyes as he turned to look at Sae. “I have a special guest for you.”

“What?” Sae was entirely too tired to have time to play another one of Oliver’s mind games.

Oliver was already downing a shot for no reason, and Sae chalked it up to being under the constant pressure of being a big shot lawyer’s son.

“That’s who I asked Karasu to get before coming here,” Oliver grinned, sliding a shot glass over to Sae.

Sae ignored it. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Come on, don’t play dumb,” Oliver groaned, throwing his head back against the leather seats dramatically. “Mirin? The name ring a bell?”

It did more than ring a bell, actually. It made Sae’s heart stop, made him speechless. Made Otoya snicker at his reaction.

“Thought I’d offer some incentive to cheer you up from that boring loveless marriage of yours,” Oliver commented, tossing a pack of cigarettes onto the table and lighting one up.

If Sae was being completely honest, he did want to see Mirin. He hadn’t seen her for so many years, he found a passing thought that wondered if she was still as pretty as he remembered, if she still scrunched her nose in that cute way she did and if she still used the same perfume that he liked.

But for some reason, Sae kept thinking back to you. What would you think if you found out? Somehow, he realised maybe that fact alone could make you cry. And somehow, for some abstract reason he couldn’t make out, he wasn’t okay with that.

In the background, he could faintly make out the conversation between Otoya and Oliver, something about how Otoya thought Mirin looked hot from her pictures, and how Oliver encouraged the thought, saying shit like “wait till you see her in real life.”

Normally, he’d feel like punching those who dared to talk about Mirin like that, but at that moment all he felt was nausea. In a weird turn of events, he kind of actually wanted to punch Oliver for taking a subtle dig at you. You were a good person. Even if Sae wasn’t particularly innocent at treating you less than you deserve.

Nausea nausea nausea.

It got even worse when seconds later, Karasu strolled through their door, a smirk on his face aimed at Sae.

“She’s in the restroom freshening up,” Karasu said, winking this time, Oliver whistling in anticipation.

His head was in a mess, wanting to bolt out of there straight away but failing to do so in time because the next minute, Sae watched as his first love walked through the door, looking beautiful as ever.

“Wow, four handsome guys in the room with me, huh?”

She’d gotten flirtier than he remembered. And she wasn’t directly talking to him yet, which was a relief for him.

“Yeah darling, wanna help us take a pic?” Oliver smirked, tossing her his phone.

Sae was just in a daze, looking at the camera as Mirin snapped a picture, her eyes lingering over him through the phone. If he wasn’t married, he was sure he would’ve reacted differently, but as things stood, this was wrong.

The moment Oliver suggested Mirin sit next to Sae for a picture, Sae found himself walking towards the door, muttering an excuse about how he had another appointment and leaving.

“Hey Sae, wait up—”

Mirin’s voice was loud and clear as she chased him out the door but Sae was faster. He was back into his car and driving back home, back to you, before he even made sense of it all.

When he walked through the front door, ready to just pass out on the bed because he had too many surprises earlier, he could smell the homemade cooking—the same one that made him feel nice coming home to. It was more prominent than usual.

Of course it was, because he could see the untouched food as he walked past the dining room. You were there, sitting there, a little pathetic but cute, and Sae didn’t really know what to do.

“Why haven’t you eaten?”

And you seemed a little more determined than usual, although the trembling of your fingers said otherwise. You were that easily scared of him?

“I was waiting for you.”

It was a simple thing, really. A wife waiting for her husband to get home first before eating. But to Sae, it was inexplicable. There was never any instance where he had an easy time going home, especially before this. Going home meant listening to his parents argue over money and having to pretend he didn’t hear it and have to watch them take the same stance as though he didn’t just hear their divide. Home-cooked food had lost its meaning for Sae a long time ago when all he had were private chefs cooking with technique and just that.

Since when did going home mean there would be a warm dinner waiting for him with so much effort put into picking out what he liked? Did you pay attention to his takeout whenever he ordered in?

“I already ate.”

There it was—that denial again that Sae just couldn’t seem to get rid of. Because wouldn’t all marriages dissolve into what his parents had without a strong foundation? They never loved each other, that much Sae could tell. For the longest time, he had thought maybe for once, someone could have a happy family if they actually felt the same about each other and for the longest time that person to him was Mirin.

The same girl he ignored earlier. The same girl he brushed past to get home to you. The same girl who didn’t seem to have as much of a hold over him as he thought after he saw her in the flesh.

Maybe that was why he found himself wanting to try. He had rejected you many times, relegating you to the other end of the house so he didn’t have to see you and feel guilty all the time. It was pathetic of him, yeah, and he was sorry. And call him a coward but he didn’t know how to handle any of this like a normal person would. Normal people probably wouldn’t have to be forced to marry a stranger though.

For once in his life, Sae found himself trying. Trying something he was so averse to in the first place. Trying something that he found so curious because you managed to bring it out of him.

Your efforts didn’t have to be big. It was all so small, so subtle. He saw everything and he tried to reject it—so why is he here now, picking the meat off the bones for you? You seemed so nervous he was afraid you might miss a bone and hurt yourself.

Which made no sense because you didn’t mean anything to him. Right?

So why did he feel the familiar tug on his lips, the smile threatening to form just from a simple dinner, the same way you managed to tug on his heartstrings?

When Sae heard you asking him for a favour, he thought you might’ve been joking. But your demeanour suggested you might not be. It was kind of weird, how you claimed that it was your parents who wanted to check up on the marriage and so you said that you needed Sae to cooperate, but at the same time you looked absolutely gleeful at the thought of having some semblance of normalcy in your married life with him.

He did you a favour by not calling you out for it.

But he couldn’t stop himself from being curious, from wondering what you looked like if he really threw you a bone. That was the driving force behind his close proximity to you, so close he could smell the shampoo off your hair and appreciate the way your breath hitched in your throat.

Cute.

He kept that to himself too, kept entirely way too many opinions of you to himself instead of sharing them with you.

“How are they gonna believe a thing when you’re that awkward around me?”

He gave a mental reminder to himself: maybe he should help you work on that.

But the moment you brought up finances, a bad feeling lurked in the back of his head. Just a gut feeling, if anything. Maybe it was because he was brought up in a similar household that he could tell when other people had bad intentions.

Your parents weren’t exempt from it, he was sure. They treated you like trash, from what he heard earlier, and he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to rid what would make your life harder.

You were his wife, after all.

“You want me to… transfer all my money into this account?”

He got it, it was a tough ask. Especially since Sae had been none too nice to you since you got married, but for this one, he was adamant. So you did. You gave him all your money like he asked and he really needed to teach you not to be so naive around other people but maybe you felt the same pull as he did, the overwhelming urge to trust even though it wasn’t so much rightfully earned yet.

Stupidly, he felt just that little bit of excitement creeping up inside him at the notion of actually getting a possibly normal marriage to a perfectly good person until his phone vibrated and he saw the name he was hoping he would never have to deal with again.

Mirin wanted to meet.

And if she had not texted to say it was urgent, Sae probably would’ve ignored it. But they spent a chunk of their youth together and it was way too much for him to forget all in a few days.

Still, he didn’t want to give in so easily.

As the days passed, it was strange how easy it was to warm up to you. It was as though the friction between you never existed in the first place.

Somehow, it felt like the both of you were learning as you went through with it—a marriage where you both were learning to be friends first, and Sae never actually knew how much he needed that, how much he enjoyed it.

He didn’t think he’d like it one bit.

But there he was, constantly texting you most times because you were the only person he didn’t mind speaking to nowadays. Well, you and Rin. Maybe Oliver, but after his last stunt he didn’t really want to speak to him.

Sae sighed as he texted you that he’d be coming home late. The frames already came through the mail anyway, he suspected you’d have a good time hanging the photos up everywhere. You loved taking pictures that day after all.

“Wife checking up on you?”

Mirin’s question sounded innocent, but it was enough to irk Sae. To him, it sounded invasive.

“What did you need?” Because she didn’t need to know anything about you. Sae didn’t want her to; Mirin was in the past and he wanted to make sure it stayed that way.

This entire meeting was set up only because perhaps Sae thought she didn’t warrant herself a bad reception from him. She didn’t do anything wrong.

And neither was he, so why was he afraid to just be upfront with you and tell you about Mirin?

Seemingly taken aback by his tone, Mirin looked away nervously. This was a weird setting to be in for someone who said they were upset. Sae had expected a quiet cafe or maybe even a park, not a restaurant at a five-star hotel.

Then again, this was Mirin. Someone who had been brought up being able to enjoy everything to its finest.

“I just needed a friend, that’s all.”

A sure-fire way to earn his sympathy was right there in front of him. Sure, they might have drifted for a while, but it wasn’t like Sae thought she was a bad person. She always used to be strong on her own, steadfast, never needed anything or anyone that sometimes Sae felt like he wasn’t even needed.

Yet there she was, tears spilling down her face and trying to smile and suddenly Sae couldn’t continue being so harsh anymore.

A friend was all he was going to be. It was all he would allow himself to be. The entire night, all he could think about was how much he had missed this whole time—a lot had changed the last few years. The happy family he once knew Mirin’s to be was no more, an unfaithful mother took care of that. And apparently, her father had been on a downward spiral ever since. It was why she moved back, to take care of him.

“But sometimes it gets to be too much, you know?” She was sobbing, and Sae could only watch helplessly. It was not something he was familiar with, but he knew Mirin—she wasn’t someone who would share something like this to anyone. The fact she had called him out of the blue would allude to the fact that she didn’t want to tell anyone else.

It was a lot for him to take in; just imagining being in her shoes, having a father who spiralled into nothing and refused to get back to work, having to take care of him while managing her own shit—Sae didn’t know if he would be that filial at all, but then again, his father was a lot less of one than hers was.

“Anyway,” she sniffled, wiping her tears away and trying to smile. “How’s married life? Y/N, is it?”

Sae cleared his throat, realising that he probably had offered no words to Mirin’s predicament. It was a weird thing, talking to your ex about your current wife. It made him feel like he really shouldn’t be here somehow. “Yeah, that’s her, and it’s great.”

He wasn’t even going to bother masking the awkwardness of the subject.

And Mirin wasn’t going to let up.

“Is she… good to you?”

Good was an understatement. Sae thought you were phenomenal. You didn’t harbour any ill intentions toward him even though he deserved it. You didn’t treat him any harsher like he did you. You were an angel among the living and he should have been grovelling for someone like you but instead you’d been served on a silver platter and Sae knew all of that now.

The difference between how he would’ve treated Mirin before and after you appeared was enough proof of what, or who, he really wanted.

“She’s the best,” he answered honestly, and he felt just slightly bad when Mirin’s expression dropped. Something told him that she was expecting something else. That was when Sae felt the need to draw the line. “And I don’t think she would appreciate it if she knew I was out with… you.”

Across the table, Mirin shifted in her seat, visibly uncomfortable with his tone. She recognised it; it was when he was about to break some bad news. It was always directed to someone else but never to her.

“Listen, I’m sorry you’re going through all of this, really I am,” Sae started, averting his gaze because he wasn’t actually good with words—but if he intended for this to be goodbye, then he had to. “But I don’t think it would be a good idea if we met alone anymore.”

On Mirin’s end, she didn’t want to give up. Sae had been the better part of her youth and she didn’t want to give up their entire relationship or friendship or whatever it is to some girl who had been unknown to her until she got back and realised Karasu had been invited to the wedding and not her. That must’ve been you, was it not?

So she had to play this smart. She had to, to keep this thinning line of relation between her and Sae. As long as it was still there, there had to be a shot for her, right?

“No, you’re right, I’d feel bad too, I just… I didn’t have anyone to turn to recently and—”

“It’s fine,” Sae cut in, mainly because he didn’t want to have to hear her voice break anymore. It was clear cut in his head what they couldn’t be, what he didn’t want them to be anymore. Because he wanted that with you, or at least try at it. “I know Karasu’s been busy lately what with owning his first hotel and all but… Oliver’s a pretty good listener once you get to know him more, and Otoya… you know what, just stick with Oliver—he’s a better guy than he seems. And his family’s full of lawyers too so you guys might have a lot in common.”

Mirin could feel her whole world breaking into pieces right in front of her but there was no such thing as defeat in her dictionary. All she had to do was retreat and come back twice as strong, otherwise she might lose Sae for good.

So she nodded, as though she cared for who or what his friends could do for her. Sae was the only one she wanted to be around—that night at the karaoke room was just a failed attempt, that was all.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll take your word for it,” Mirin smiled through her pain, fingers fisting at the hem of her dress. He didn’t even bother to compliment her tonight, or say anything of substance. This was not the Sae she knew, and she wanted to bring him back.

That was why, that night when she got back home (and she was absolutely miserable at how Sae didn’t even offer to drive her back, instead just staying with her until she hailed a cab), she used everything at her family’s disposal to find out more about you. You and your family and Mirin wouldn’t stop until she found out what could possibly make you break.

If there was something Sae would want answers to, it was how he went from having not a single care in the world to give you, to giving you more than he ever even gave himself. He didn’t know if it even seemed that way to you, but it was.

After he got back that night, it was as though you’d constructed a wall between the both of you. Sae could feel you pulling away a little, and he didn’t know why—all he knew was that he didn’t want you to drift. He hadn’t even gotten that close yet, and he wanted to know more about you.

Was it a crime that he couldn’t express himself properly?

It was unfathomable how he was here in the kitchen in the middle of the day, trying to cook dinner for when you got back from meeting Reo. He frowned a little just upon remembering that. Was this jealousy? Only because he was sure by the way Reo was looking at you on your wedding day that there were some hidden feelings there.

On his part, for sure. For you? Sae couldn’t be sure. He could only hope not.

But he wouldn’t discount you from getting a divorce when he saw the mess he ended up making in the kitchen, especially that charcoal-stained wall behind the stove.

Fuck, was he really this bad at anything related to maintaining the household?

Fish was cooked to fuck so he couldn’t serve that anymore. Chicken got burnt on the grill because Sae couldn’t tell when it was done for the life of him. The only thing that was left was the soup and it was still boiling on the stove so at least not all was lost.

At that moment, Sae felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and immediately picked it up, moving himself to the balcony in case you got home early.

“Oliver, find anything out?”

Over the line, Oliver scoffed. “Saw the dad going to the bank, think he went to take whatever was in his safe deposit box. Mother was there too.”

Through the phone, Sae could still tell Oliver was smoking. He still remembered how much smoke would fill his car whenever he rode with him. There was a long pause as Sae tried to gather his thoughts.

“So, Itoshi Sae had a change of heart, huh?” Oliver’s teasing voice rang loud over the line.

Sae rolled his eyes, somewhat regretting asking the guy for a favour.

“What about Mirin? Still ditching her all the time?”

Sae wouldn’t call it ditching. He just… kept rejecting every single time she’d ask him out. Sure, she kept it in line with what he had told her last time, which was to not hang out alone, but Sae didn’t necessarily hang out together in a group either.

“You know, she—”

“Don’t care,” Sae interjected.

“Oh? Really? What if—”

“Don’t wanna hear anything about her, if you don’t mind.” And he was being completely honest. Sure, she kept responding to his stories and he was being nice by giving them a reaction, and sometimes she kept trying to text him although he barely gave any good responses—but that was the extent of their friendship right now, as far as Sae would allow it.

Oliver chuckled through the phone, hands up in surrender even though no one would see it. “Fine, have it your way.”

“Just tell me if you find anything else,” Sae muttered, completely exhausted from having to deal with anything related to Mirin and for once, Oliver was surprised.

“Aye aye, sir,” Oliver murmured sarcastically before hanging up.

The Sae he knew before you would never be caught dead trying to push Mirin away. Sighing, Oliver drove away, losing sight of your parents from his rearview mirror.

“Just don’t say I didn’t try to warn you, Sae.”

Maybe the tickets his parents gave him to celebrate the honeymoon in Korea was a huge blessing in disguise. From looking at you being excited all through the airport just because everyone had been calling you Mrs Itoshi and Sae had been addressing you as his wife, to actually landing in Incheon airport and watching you hop like a child—he thought maybe your earlier distance was just a phase.

Until, of course, you suggested that you both do solo trips.

To which Sae had been mostly deadpan, but not because he didn’t care—more like he was stumped. This was a honeymoon. For the both of you. Was this you trying to push him away? And if so, what for?

So Sae wasn’t going to let that get in the way. He didn’t outright reject your idea. But he could go along with it. You could go wherever you wanted to go, and Sae would tag along behind you.

He wasn’t going to let you wander around solo when you were supposed to spend time enjoying this foreign place together. And Mirin was especially not going to be able to guilt trip him into entertaining her while he was there by using their old plans against him.

When he tried to be her friend and texted her back with actual words for once, Mirin had somehow steered the entire conversation into dangerous territory; like how Mirin had once told Sae she wanted to visit Korea with him someday and that she asked if it was too much to still want to go.

Of course, he had said Oliver would be more than happy to take her there (to which she had sent a sad face that he happily ignored). Still, it sucked when he was trying to find a balance between being a friend and learning to be a good husband.

So there he was, following you around shamelessly even though he knew you kept looking behind to make sure that he was, in fact, actually following you. Sometimes it was hard to keep his snicker in. You looked half in shock yet half relieved.

It was more enjoyable with you than he thought it would be. He had absolutely zero expectations, especially when he had heard so much about knowing people’s true nature once you go on a trip with them—but you were more than fine.

Sae was starting to silently thank his parents for forcing you together. He got to see your smiles way up close, and it was nice to keep you close to him, and he liked the way you smelled that he memorised your perfume when you went in to that makeup store earlier.

That was why when night came and the both of you got back to the hotel, Sae had been more than a little regretful that he had asked the staff to prepare an extra mattress. Was it bad he wanted to sleep with you?

In the end, he only shook his head and vanquished the question from his head. He didn’t want to risk making you too uncomfortable.

“It’s nothing, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Sae.”

And he watched as you walked away, wondering if your disappointment was all in his head.

The next few days of the honeymoon went well—until a flurry of notifications popped up while the two of you were playing on his phone; Oliver’s personal important ones mixed with Mirin’s loud ones in the group chat. He didn’t give one shit about the latter, but Oliver’s is what he couldn’t let you see. Not yet, anyway, when it was just based on a hunch.

“Hey Oliver, what is it?”

“They’re definitely fishy, my guy said they’d been moving money around, no idea where though.”

Sae spent that entire evening theorising with Oliver on what it could be—and by the time he came back in, you’d passed out in your bed, probably exhausted from walking too much that day. Somehow, it felt rewarding to be able to tuck you in, and maybe it was greedy but he kissed you lightly on the forehead before he shut the lights.

Yeah, he’d definitely protect you, no matter what.

But there was something he couldn’t understand somehow, when he thought everything was going fine—why were you distancing yourself again?

The last few days of the trip felt wrong, and especially the last night when he could hear you sniffling through the door. It worried him more than he was when it was Mirin, and if that wasn’t enough proof to himself that you were slowly becoming irreplaceable in his life then he didn’t know what was.

That was why he gave in and called the only person he knew who could help—Reo. No matter how much he didn’t want to admit it, after being your best friend your whole life, he would probably know best. Sustaining his own ego came last to him when it involved you.

“You better not have done something wrong to Y/N or I swear to god—”

“Hello to you too, Reo.”

Reo sighed, and Sae didn’t blame his hostile tone. You probably confided in him for everything and Sae was undoubtedly one of those things.

“So? What is it?” The purple-haired one’s reluctance to speak to Sae showed, and Sae had to swallow every bit of pride down because he had to ask.

Turned out, Reo was more than willing to share. Only because it was for you, he said. And Sae suddenly felt like an ass for feeling a pang of jealousy. Reo knew you in certain emotionally intimate ways that Sae had yet to learn; he knew what you wanted people to do when you were in different moods, he knew how you wanted to be treated.

That was why Sae couldn’t help himself.

“Reo, are you in love with Y/N?” Sae chose your name instead of calling you his wife—there was a part of him that felt possessiveness in this sense would make him sound like more of a douche than he already seemed to be.

“Relax, I’m not gonna steal her from you or anything,” he laughed, although Sae noted he didn’t answer the question. “But… just letting you know, she has a ton of other options.”

After Reo hung up, Sae stared at the open chat thread on his screen. A picture of you and Reo, making it seem like the two of you were kissing, sent to Sae from an anonymous number. More than questionable, and Sae had tiny specks of doubt before now—wasn’t it natural to be sceptical in situations like these? But now he knew it was stupid. It was stupid because if not Reo, then he should know you enough to trust you wouldn’t do such a thing.

Same as Sae.

Maybe there were things you weren’t ready to tell each other, but now you had the rest of your lives to do so. Sae sure as hell wanted to keep you for that long at the least. So that night he found himself promising you that he would stay, because it was the honest truth. He would stick by you no matter what. After all, he fell in love with you before he even knew it.

And maybe one day, he’ll have the guts to say it.

Just when Sae thought he had had enough troubles for a while, what with your parents showing him their true colours (whether you caught on to it or not)—life threw him another curveball. One in the form of his old flame, casually showing up at his doorstep even though he never once told her the address.

“Mirin? What are you doing here?”

And she was wearing that same old face of hers, the sad one, the one that looked like she was just seconds away from breaking. Normally Sae would entertain her like he did that one night, for old times’ sake, but he was beginning to feel bad intentions and this—his ex-girlfriend being in the house you two shared—was definitely something you would object to.

Instead of waiting for an invitation like a normal person, she barged in past Sae, helping herself to a seat by the island, head in her hands.

“I didn’t know where else to go, it’s just been getting worse,” Mirin was sniffling at that point, and Sae knew he was going to feel like a total ass, but he had to do what he had to do. She had mistaken his question as one of concern.

“I actually got an errand to run, so,” Sae lied through his teeth, dressed in a random oversized white tee and black shorts, though that didn’t stop him. He was genuinely sick and frankly, he was growing sick and tired of having to deal with someone who didn’t respect boundaries.

“Huh?”

“I gotta leave in a minute,” he muttered, going into the bedroom to grab a coat and his keys, slipping on his shoes afterwards at the entrance before turning to look up at Mirin. “Do… you wanna stay in here alone?”

Stumped, Mirin took a few seconds to form a proper response. “Um, no no, how about I run that errand with you? Two is better than one, right?” She was still smiling brightly, almost oblivious to Sae’s attitude.

Two was definitely not better than one, especially since all Sae intended to do was to drive around the block and come back when she was gone.

“Nah, it’s a personal matter, and I’m already late,” he said, sauntering out the front door, Mirin barely trailing behind before the door closed.

Once they were in the lift, Sae caught Mirin sidling up next to him, and he had to exaggerate his coughing just to get her to distance herself. As the icing on top of the cake, he turned on his phone screen just to let her see the wallpaper he put of the both of you back in Korea, that picture where the both of you dressed up in front of the palace. Just to make sure she knew where his head was at.

“Need me to call you a cab home?” He asked, because he would—anything to get her out of here because Sae just didn’t want to give her any space in his life right now.

Of course, Sae knew Mirin well enough to know she was probably seething inside because she came all this way for nothing, but she masked it with a smile. “No it’s fine, I’ll help myself.”

True to her word, she did. Sae watched the cab turn down the other side of the road through his side mirror, and he was relieved more than anything. To think, just months ago he would’ve given anything to have her back in his life.

In the cab, Mirin’s tears weren’t those of upset, but more towards those of contempt. Just what kind of a spell did you have Sae under that he would treat her, the love of his life, so cruelly? To her, you could never be perfect, not for Sae. Because it was her. He told her so, once upon a time. In fact, how dare you get the dream honeymoon with Sae that she always wanted?

And even though she didn’t get much time with him today (because of course he was still acting up), she smiled to herself as she scrolled through her photos. She got what she came for, at least. A few pictures she took, both before and when Sae came out of the room.

Swiftly, Mirin went to her profile and posted a story—anything that seemed suspect enough would be fine. All she needed was a little luck and for the universe to propel you to look at her profile. Creating misunderstandings would just be the building block of you and Sae’s downfall, and then everything else would be easy peasy. Sae wouldn’t even stop her anyway—he unfollowed her a while ago. Whatever.

Yeah, everything would go her way just like it always did. Making Sae pine for her for so long couldn’t possibly be erased by someone such as yourself. Besides, if all else failed, Mirin already found out what she needed to about your family. If all else failed, she’d make sure to take you down.

Was it all in his head?

You seemed a little more inquisitive than usual, and it looked like you were biting your tongue. Did you have something to say that you were afraid to?

“You can tell me anything if you ever need to, okay?” It was more to assure you that nothing you could ask him would ever be too much or too invasive because he honestly didn’t know what it could be—but you didn’t take it.

Was it a sensitive subject?

The entire time you were gone, he spent his time at home ignoring Oliver’s calls and mulling over the decision in his head; the decision to tell you everything that was going on with Mirin. It was getting too much, and he couldn’t tell what was going on in her head anymore—it was like he never knew her.

And… he owed you that, at the very least. You had been nothing but an angel to him, and you’d never been petty or vindictive and you were perfect. Just perfect.

Despite being surrounded by people like Oliver and Otoya who wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about it if they were in his shoes, and being brought up by people who lacked any sort of love for either of their sons, Sae knew that he had to tell you before it was too late. Before Mirin started sinking her claws into you and drove you crazy—being how she was right now, he wouldn’t put it past her to do that. Call it a gut feeling.

If she could just show up wherever she wanted impulsively, plus the amount of information she could get her hands on thanks to her father’s contacts, who knew what else she could do?

But speak of the devil and it shall show up at your door, because minutes later, instead of opening the door to your beautiful face and warm smile, Sae got only a sinister feeling.

“What do you want?”

This time, he didn’t bother hiding his disdain for seeing her anymore. She had been proving time and time again that she was only out for herself, and that was not the person Sae once loved.

She may as well be a stranger now.

Her frown lined her features, the furrow of her brows more defined than ever. Her expression was halfway between disbelief and upset. “Are you really going to treat me this way, Sae?”

“I thought we could still be friends, and that was stupid of me,” Sae said, being openly honest with her for once. “But we can’t.”

With her hand on the door as he tried to close it on her, Mirin was determined to keep it open. She wasn’t about to come all the way here for nothing again. Besides, she’d been posting conspicuously for days—surely now was a good time as ever to drive the wedge deeper between the two of you?

“Why? Because your petty wife won’t let us?”

Sae had never had to force his voice down as much as he had to right now. “Don’t you… ever say anything against her.” He turned on his heels, ready to get his coat and force her out of there until he heard the familiar clack of her heels storming in after him.

“You’re not seriously choosing that second-rate over me?” She spat, fists clenched at her sides, her purse thrown on the floor.

Silence was all he could give her because nothing that would come out of his mouth would be merciful. You were the most innocent of all and yet your name was getting dragged through the mud just because Mirin couldn’t wake up and realise that she was the only reason they drifted in the first place.

“Get out.” Soft. Simple. There was nothing else Sae had to say to her.

Mirin shook her head, adamant on seeing this conversation through to the end. She wasn’t going to leave until she got what she wanted. “You’ve seriously got a screw loose if you’re choosing that cheating whore over me.”

Sae’s head whipped over to glare at her, his self-control coming in extra handy tonight. He narrowed his gaze, the realisation dawning upon him.

“You were the one who sent that picture of her with Reo, weren’t you?” A redundant question; he didn’t need her to answer.

Judging by the triumphant smirk on her face, she didn’t need to say a thing. “Oh, I have a lot more where that came from,” she chuckled, sounding a lot like a villain out of a fairytale. Slowly, she inched closer to him, “come on, if she can have her fun, we can have ours, can’t we?”

Lunging forward, her lips connected with his as she caught him off guard, her arms wrapped around his neck, taking him a few seconds to pry off. Sae wasn’t even spared a second before she tried again, but he swerved this time, and she could only scoff.

“Are you fucking nuts?”

“I’d be careful with how you speak to me if I were you,” she threatened, and Sae was about to offer a rebuttal until she took her purse and shoved some documents in his hand. “This is what you had Oliver investigate, right?”

Sae swallowed the lump in his throat as he looked over them. It wasn’t what he asked of Oliver. This was way more in depth and way more messy than Sae had thought it was. There must’ve been an ongoing investigation that he wasn’t aware of. Either way, how did she—

“It was easy enough to steal it from him,” Mirin mused, straightening up. “It wasn’t his fault, I nicked it while he was asleep.”

Sae didn’t even want to think about the context of that situation. What was even more perplexing was how proud she sounded of it.

Taking a deep breath, he collected himself, making sure to hold onto the documents. Mirin grinned slightly, realising his intentions. “Don’t worry, I made sure to make copies,” she told him, winking.

“What do you want?”

“To talk. About everything. Or else I call for an official investigation into that.”

On one side, Sae felt that everything that had to be said was already said and done. On the other, Mirin wanted so desperately to hold onto the only thing she had been sure of at one point in her life that nothing was going to stop her.

It wasn’t like he had a choice—there was no way he was going to let her storm through your life like that. If there was a chance he could talk some sense into her, he had to try.

“Fine, give me a minute.”

Retreating to the bathroom to wash his face and get her damned lipstick stain off—something he no doubt would have to tell you about later because this has blown way out of proportion—he was almost done until he heard Mirin introducing herself and his heart sank.

Fuck, were you back already?

It wasn’t hard to tell you were completely taken aback by Mirin’s presence in the house. And if Sae had his way, he would tell you everything right here and right now but with the knowledge she held over your family, he wasn’t sure it was a wise idea to tip her over the edge right now. Her threat still loomed over him.

Sae hated how she could take advantage of the situation and just make it seem even more suspicious—just how long had she been at this? He really should’ve just warned you about Mirin a long time ago.

“Do you trust me?”

“I don’t know, Sae. Can I?” For the first time, there was nothing but crisp coldness in your voice.

It stays with him even after he leaves, even when he follows Mirin to the bridge overlooking the waterfront. He’s decided; after tonight, there will not be any ties between him or Mirin, not after he actually witnessed how toxic she could get.

“This is far enough,” Sae tells her, stopping himself right before the row of shophouses that line the underside of the bridge. “What do you want from me?”

Mirin chuckles helplessly, caught between knowing everything she’s doing is futile and wanting to try anyway. “Are you kidding me, Sae?” The tears are already streaming down her face, and Sae is mostly just in awe of how quick she can go from menacing to heartbroken. “What do you think?”

He’s more than aware that there are a lot of unresolved things between the two of them—but that doesn’t change the fact that what Mirin wants, he can’t provide her with anymore. His silence is indicative enough that she can’t get her way no matter what she does. But in the face of someone she’s wanted her whole life, in the face of the only person she’s ever truly been genuine with in this lifetime, she finds that she can’t just accept that.

“You can’t tell me that I mean nothing to you,” Mirin murmurs, and it’s so quiet that Sae wonders if he was even meant to hear it.

On a normal day, Sae would feel sorry for her. They used to be a pair of lovebirds who planned out nearly their whole life together a long time ago. But she lost that right, she lost his sympathy the moment she started being exactly like her mother and trying to tamper with your life.

But maybe his hostility wasn’t a good way to deal with her, looking at all the backlash she’s caused, so Sae tries a different approach this time, even if he’s not particularly in the mood to be nice to her after all the trouble she’s caused.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” It’s partly true. Even if he didn’t do anything in particular, he imagines it must’ve been a shock to her when she came back to Japan and the guy who had claimed to want to wait for her had suddenly been married off. (But he wasn’t sorry for throwing her invitation away—to a certain extent, he felt that you didn’t deserve your future husband having such a distraction in the crowd. At the time.)

“Sae, I know you still love me, I know we can work this out, okay? Just give it a shot. Leave her and we can—”

“I can’t do that,” Sae cuts in, sighing because this is the few times in his life that his inability to express himself has led to inconveniences of this magnitude.

“Why? Whatever she or your parents have on you I’ll—”

“No, Mirin, I can’t because I love her,” Sae says, looking Mirin in the eyes and breaking her heart all over again. But he’d do anything for you, and right now all he wants is to go back to you. He wants to be with you and hear your cute laugh and tease you because you’re all he can ever think about nowadays. “I’m sorry but… I love my wife, and I’m not going to leave her, or let anything happen to her.”

Maybe it’s the absolute vulnerability that she can hear in his voice that makes her believe it. Sae doesn’t say things like that so easily, and maybe it’s the way she can see his eyes tearing up that she can tell it’s genuine no matter how much she doesn’t want it to be. He’s worried and in love and feeling overwhelmed. But Mirin’s not in the right state of mind and she fights back instead of admitting defeat.

“What about promising you’d wait for me, huh? What happened to that?”

By now, Mirin’s airing all her grievances, and Sae understands that enough to let it slide.

“I did, but we grew apart, didn’t we? You dated other guys, refused to try with me while I was still…” He avoids saying it.

“All the things we said we’d do together once we could finally have time to ourselves! Travelling, raising pets, picking out a house and going furniture shopping together, building a family because ours sucked,” she’s sobbing and Sae has to ignore the stares they’re getting from the few people that pass by.

“I still want that—”

“Then why—”

“With my wife.” He emphasises on this, and he’ll repeat it as many times as he needs to. “With Y/N. Her, and no one else.”

It’s his absolute indifference towards Mirin that jars her, because in this world, he was the only one she could count on, and now even that was gone. And right now, all she feels is hatred for you, for the one who stole him from right under her nose.

“Even if I tell you I’ll raze her whole family to the ground?” Mirin threatens with a scowl, igniting the combativeness inside of him.

Sae scoffs, shaking his head in disappointment. Nothing is going to get through to her. Not like this. He stuffs his hands in his pocket, “you can try, but I’ll be right there defending her with everything I got.”

Those teal eyes that used to look at her softly than they had anything else, his soft locks that she could once twirl her fingers through—they now belonged to you. They belong to you and they’re slipping away from her as Sae deigns to say any sort of goodbye, instead just walking off in silence as he tries to get back to you.

Ignoring Mirin’s cries of his name and the threats she’s hurling, he tries to call your phone but you’re not picking up—and that’s enough to make him run.

You’re not in the apartment, and some of your things are gone and since when did he even start to take notice of small little things like your favourite face towel that hangs on the side of the sink or your trusty furry headband that you liked to use hung beside the mirror? Those small little things are missing and for once, Sae’s afraid.

“Come on, pick up pick up,” Sae mutters under his breath as he drives around the neighbourhood, hoping he’d catch you somewhere. He ignores the string of calls he gets from Karasu, only to call him back when he gets a text: oi, pick up, idiot. your wife just booked a room here, you guys ok?

Thank god for coincidences like this or else Sae would’ve spent the entire time you were away wallowing in agony (silently).

It’s easy enough to find you after that, his feet running the most it has in a while—his ankles hurt and his knees feel weak, especially where they’re injured, but you’re worth every injury he has to make. And his heart does somersaults when he finally lays eyes on you, but then it plummets to the ground when he hears the word divorce.

Minutes later you’re running away from him, and he chases after you again—he’ll chase you however long he has to because this is all one big misunderstanding and he has to clear it up because he needs you in his life. Right now and forever. Just like he vowed to you on your wedding day.

The entire night has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and it was naive of Sae to think it was done because the next thing he knows, he sees Mirin throw a half-empty cup of yoghurt at you (along with her vile insults), and your face is absolutely dazed.

Shit. This is all his fault and he’s really, really sorry to you.

WHERE WE LEFT OFF

The walk back to your hotel suite is deafeningly silent.

Subtle lavender fills your noses as you enter the hotel lobby, though you can’t get the smell of greek yoghurt out of your nostrils.

You wonder where Karasu took Mirin to.

Not that you care about her. You just want to make sure you don’t see her. If you do, you might actually slap her.

You’re not sure if you want to try and fight her lawyers. Not sure if you want to give her reason to lord over you. At least, not as much as she did you.

When you enter the lift, you realise that Sae’s been unrelentingly close to you. His arms always brush against yours because he won’t leave so much as a gap between the two of you. Like he wants to catch you if you run.

Not in the creepy way, though. Not to you.

His hair is still slightly matted to his face; must’ve been the result of chasing after you. You’re a little perplexed, and you’re a little strict with yourself—you can’t back down later when you’re questioning him, and you have to remind yourself of this.

Because this marriage isn’t surviving another day if you don’t understand their… relationship.

Surely you’re not just being completely illiterate, right?

From what you’d been told, Sae and Mirin were each other’s first loves. That isn’t what you’re pressed about though, because he could so easily think the same about you and Reo, if the roles were reversed. What you are still pressed about is whether Sae’s intentions still hold true: is he still waiting for her? For the right time to be with her?

His earlier confession still repeats itself in your head. It could just as easily be a complete lie. You don’t want to hold onto it for fear of being disappointed.

Sae had been waiting for Mirin before the arranged marriage thwarted his plans. He had refused to give you any sort of acknowledgement as his actual wife until, well, your honeymoon, you guess. And even then, you still saw Mirin talking to him. Even then, he had to make suspicious calls in the night.

The worst part is when you saw her happily posting in your house. In the apartment where it’s supposed to be for you and your husband yet your husband and his former lover were in there when you were out working.

The moment you enter the suite, you toss his coat on top of one of the chairs and retreat to the bathroom, more than eager to change out of your Mirin-stained clothes.

Your husband’s waiting awkwardly outside the bathroom door by the time you get out, hands in his pockets, sheepishly averting his gaze as though he has the right to be the one acting nervous right now.

He takes a seat beside you on the bed, although you want nothing more than to just have time to yourself right now. On Sae’s part, he’s usually an advocate for this. He would’ve let you be alone any other time but right now. Because he feels that if he lets you, he’d lose you.

And this is selfishness in a way he hasn’t experienced and he doesn’t know why but he knows that he needs you with him.

“How many times?”

Sae finds himself stumped at your question. Your voice is quivering, but you’re trying to stand your ground. “Of what?”

For a change, you’re the one with the firm, demanding voice and he’s the one sounding meek. But for all your hostility, you still let him hold your hand. It makes Sae want to hold onto hope.

“How many times have you cheated on me?”

“What?”

He’s anticipated many things from you, many questions about his history and why you saw him the way you did earlier that night, but consider him stumped when he heard the words fly out of your mouth.

Cheating?

Have you been in agony over such a question all this time?

And suddenly he feels an overwhelming amount of guilt wash over him. Sure, he’s known that he would be bad at these things, at communicating when it’s not a sport, at understanding your feelings, at being a damn husband in a marriage that he initially loathed. But he didn’t know it would be this bad, that he would’ve made you feel this insecure.

Right now, you’re seething, and rightfully so because he must’ve done so many things wrong to make you think that way, to make you feel so sure of it too.

You’re still waiting for an answer, fists clenched at your side, the familiar mirth in your expression that Sae’s grown used to is tucked away safely in a place you don’t want him to reach.

“Well? Tell me, because I don’t want a marriage where I’m constantly a second choice. How many times have you—”

“I didn’t, I swear.”

The words come out of him in a hurry; there’s a flurry of emotions inside him, mainly one of fear—since when did he become afraid to lose you? It wasn’t something he was consciously aware of and yet it’s surfacing right now. He doesn’t want you to think that way anymore, that he’d do anything behind your back that would far disgrace your status as his wife.

It takes you a while to collect your thoughts, because Sae can see your shoulders relaxing, your fists unclenching. Your brows are furrowed, and he knows it’s because you’re afraid to just trust him. With good reason.

“How can I believe that?”

Your voice has lost its earlier edge, and now all that remains is the fragments of your hope—hope that somehow you can make it through this. Together.

Sae takes a step forward, daring to pull you into his arms, his mind filled with just you you you. Like it has been for a bulk of the time recently.

“I’ll tell you what you wanna know, anything.” He’s aware it doesn’t come close to the damages done, but he’ll try. He’ll try for the rest of his life if he has to.

“Everything. Tell me everything.”

And everything it was.

Sae answered everything you wanted him to, no holds barred. Mostly it was everything about Mirin, because that’s what’s been bugging you the most. And it was a lot. Somehow, you believe him, every single word.

He was stupid for keeping it to himself, yes. But you kept Reo and that picture to yourself too, and maybe you can understand why he had initially been afraid to say anything.

You’re both sitting on the bed, facing each other, Sae’s voice nearly cracking from all the talking he’s been doing. His hand slowly reaches out to yours, the tension in his shoulders letting go when your fingers grasp onto his. Can he take that to mean you don’t completely hate him?

“I’m really, really sorry,” Sae says, softly, gazing at the mattress because he still doesn’t even know if he deserves your acceptance. “I really do love you, Y/N, and I don’t want a…” divorce.

Is it because you’re too nice that you already want to forgive him? It’s all just a domino effect that got way too big. Still, you can’t make this a habit, so you stand your ground.

“I just… I want this to be a marriage where we can be open and completely honest with one another,” you say, lost in your thoughts, knowing that you’re not completely innocent yourself, and ashamed even more to know that Sae had known about the misleading picture of you and Reo all along yet choosing to trust you wholeheartedly anyway. “But I think there’s a lot of work we both need to do.”

Sae takes it hopefully. “Then we’ll do it, together,” he tells you, and it’s hard not to smile at how genuine he’s being.

But before either of you can say much else, there’s a quiet knock at the door.

“I’ll get it,” Sae offers, walking to the door and sighing once he looks through the peephole. He’s ready to ignore until the knocks come again. Opening the door, he sees a slightly timid Mirin. “We don’t have anything else to say to each other.”

Mirin doesn’t even look at him, just gazes past him at nothing. “I didn’t come to talk to you,” she says, before her gaze lands on you. “I came here to talk to her.”

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#bllk x reader #sae x reader #itoshi sae x reader #blue lock x reader #sae x y/n #bllk x you #bllk x y/n #itoshi sae x you #itoshi sae x y/n #itoshi sae imagines #sae x you #itoshi sae #blue lock x you #૪ aeri’s fics !

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shayyprasad · 4 months

Text

weighing scale

tw: eating disorder (purging, not eating), bodyshaming, ed shaming

btw, if it's requested, i can turn drabbles into full oneshots!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you guys are beautiful the way you are, and nothing anybody ever says or does will ever change that. remember that gaining weight is totally normal, and you can always lose weight, too, but please, do it in a healthy way. if you ever need anyone to talk to, and this isn't just for eds, i'm here, and you can reach out. if not, there are people who care about you and love you.

you're amazing you beautiful mfs

(also i'm sorry if this might not be correct for you, everyone has different experiences with eds)

(also, also, i did 1st person ... and this is just the way i thought when i was going thru this so i kinda made it relate w/ me??)

100.

98.

96.

she watched as the numbers went down, satisfied despite the fact that it was only one pound less yesterday.

90.

88.

even if it meant that she'd always be cold, or that her hair would fall out. it was a small price to pay to be beautiful. to be skinny. to be like all the other girls that peter liked.

y/n kept telling herself that. and it was enough to keep her going.

{four weeks prior}

(first person)

they had little packets for us to take home, like forms. something along the lines of "annual health check-up." the form was just... well, it wasn't a form, really, but more of an opt-out. the paper said they'd just check weight, height, and some other things, like make sure you didn't have scoliosis.

honestly?

i was just happy to be missing a good chunk of math.

everyone got called down to the gym by period, and mine was 5th period, right before lunch.

our class was waiting for them to call us down, so mr. callen just let us do whatever until then. i glanced over to see liz, kayla, and chloe in the corner of the classroom, giggling and pointing towards some of the boys, and eventually, mr. callen.

he was one of the youngest members on faculty, fresh out of college. and i'll admit, he's not bad looking. in fact, he's hotter than most of the guys. and if it wasn't peter that had my heart, maybe i'd think about someone else.

not that the whole peter thing was going great anyways, he seemed interested in liz. so maybe that was my hint to move on. but i don't know. i've just liked him forever, it'd feel wrong to stop now.

i'm just really loyal, i guess.

or maybe this is some weird first love/crush thing, because no matter what, i keep finding myself coming back to him.

it took me second to realize that i'd been staring at the same spot for a while now, so i probably looked funny. i re-adjusted my position and looked at the clock, noting there there was just a few minutes until we'd have to go down.

i looked by at the girls, then at the teacher. did they not realize that he had an engagement ring on? or where they just dense?

because honestly, i'm having a hard time figuring out which one it is.

liz pushed chloe over to the desk, giggling like a manic.

chloe bit her lip, trying to hold in laughter. "hiiii, cal. you know, like, cupid's day is coming?"

me, personally, i didn't really believe in the whole dumb blonde thing, but chloe was changing my aspect on this.

cupid's day was on valentine's day, and you could pay a dollar to have a rose delivered to someone. normally, the freshmen girls did most of the planning. freshmen girls were annoying. they were always together, and i didn't remember a time i'd seen one alone.

i didn't get any on my first year here. last year i got three. but it didn't really count, because mj got me one and betty did. i was hoping that i'd figure out who the third person was, but three weeks into that investigation, i kinda gave up. if they hadn't revealed themselves to me at that point, i'd figured that they probably wouldn't.

maybe junior year will go better.

if you were popular popular, you got at least seven, so it was kind of embarrasing to only get one. and it was probably even more embarrasing to only have, like, one friend. which was betty. but she hadn't hung around me that often since she started dating ned.

mj was an observer, and i knew that much. it was probably the only reason she got me a rose, because she felt bad. but then again, anyone could see how pathetic it was.

peter and i used to be pretty close, but then he met ned, so the attention he gave me got halved.

i would have tried to be friends with ned, because i know he's really nice, but i stressed out too much about it for some reason and gave up. social anxiety, perhaps? it didn't matter, it was too late to do anything about it now.

after that, peter started hanging around liz and some of the other popular kids, and entirely forgot about me.

did forget about ned, though. maybe beacuse i was a girl, and so peter got called "gay" a lot for that. i didn't have much of a chance compared to liz, so i just admired him from afar. it's not that we didn't talk, because we did sometimes, but... actually, i don't know what.

if peter wanted to, he would have.

and it's fairly obvious, but i'm delusional and chose to ignore that.

the intercom snapped me out of whatever zoning out i'd gone back to, "block d, block d. i-is this on? oh, it is? i- yes, block d down to the gym."

everyone got up and pushed their way out the door, i didn't have that type of energy, so i just waited for everyone to get their butts outta the way and then went myself. i followed them down to the hall, staying behind a little. when i finally got over there, i ended up last, right behind chloe, kayla, then liz.

for the most part, it only took a minute or two for each person, so the line didn't take that long.

well, i suppose that's subjective.

it took 15 minutes, but whatever.

when liz was inside, she didn't take care to close the door all the way, leaving it a couple inches open. that's on her.

that's on her for being irresponsible, so it's not really my fault if i accidently hear. i leaned in a little, suddenly very interested in the wall, with all it's cracks... and... paint, and...

"and step on the scale, please... that is," she paused, and you could hear scribbling of a pen.

"121.3 pounds. perfectly healthy. that's actually the average weight for girls your age," another pause, "make sure to give this form to your parents. have a nice day."

liz said something in return and i stepped back, done admiring the wall. "next!" the lady called in.

i stepped inside the room, and it smelt strongly of hand-sanitizer. "okay, honey, step up against the wall... height is... alrightly. now the scale, please."

i did as she asked, keeping my eyes trained on the numbers.

149.7 pounds. basically 150. that was more than liz's, right?

"149, okay, you're good to go-"

"is that around average weight?" i asked, and it was impulsive, i didn't even think.

"well, it's somewhere around that. you're perfectly healthy."

the intercom came on again, signaling my time was over, and the lady thought the same thing, because she ushered me out.

as i walked back to the classroom, i couldn't help but think;

149? no, 150? around average? so basically, i was above average. 30 pounds heavier than liz? no wonder peter likes liz better.

god, that's disgusting. i'm disgusting.

i trudged back to class, unable to stop thinking about it. and suddenly, an idea popped into my mind; why not lose weight? if i lost a little, maybe peter would care about me again.

that's genius. god, i'm a genius.

yeah. i lose a little weight.

when i got back, he'd already started the lesson, not that i cared. i spent the rest of that class figuring out the kinks, like how many calories i'm allowed to eat per day.

i settled on 800.

it seemed like a decent number if i wanted to actually make an impact with weight loss.

stupid kale smoothies weren't gonna get me anywhere, nor idiotic influencer workout routines.

before i knew it, the bell rung and kids were hustling through the hallways. i was kind of on autopilot as i walked to lunch, not really watching where i was going. i'd by mistake shouldered some people, and they gave me dirty looks. i shot them right back.

i couldn't help but silently, in my mind, judge everyone's body that i saw. and not just their body, but other physical features, too. it was automatic, i didn't even mean to. but i couldn't help it.

she's really fat. the gym exists for a reason.

how is she so skinny? i know she's anorexic.

and it just went on and on.

i didn't know what was going on. why this mattered to me all of a sudden.

it was like i didn't notice these things before, i wasn't looking for them, but now that i knew they were there, i couldn't help it.

i couldn't help a lot of things.

when i walked into the lunchroom, i saw peter sitting by himself, writing on some piece of paper, and if i knew him, he wasn't doing the homework due tomorrow.

he was doing yesterday's.

it didn't seem like i'd be bothering him if i went to go talk to him, so that's what i did. i figured since we hadn't talked in while, it would be great to now.

and it'd be a great distraction, too.

i sat down across from him, "hi, peter."

he looked up slowly, a smile rising on his face. "uh, hey, y/n/n," peter paused, "what, um, what did you need?"

"huh? oh, i didn't need anything. just thought i'd come by and annoy the hell out of you."

"just like old times," peter snorted.

"math homework?"

"yep. i have math-"

"-next period," i realized my mistake after i made it. "um, 'cause i see you when i'm walking to class."

in repsonse, he nodded like he was considering it.

i didn't notice i was hungry until my stomach growled, but something inside of me made the thought of getting food and eating it repulsive. i hesitated before grabbing on of peter's fries and popping it in my mouth. he didn't say anything, or really even care, and i didn't know if i liked that or not.

"okay. you have chem next, yeah?"

i blushed at the fact he knew.

"uh, yep," i snagged some more fries, feeling myself loosen up.

and then i realized, that's what this was; i was just in need of some time with actual people who weren't my parents.

i liked this. i liked talking to peter. it was easy. this was easy.

we laughed about some other things, like flash's new donkey haircut.

and i stole more fries. ned, betty, and mj (who normally sat two seats away) came over. the topic of cupid's day came up.

"how many do you think you'll get?" betty asked.

i looked up, "roses?"

"uh-huh."

ned spoke up, "you won't need to worry, bet, i'll get you a whole bouquet." he looked proud of himself.

"i'm not worried," she giggled, like the lovesick fool she was. it was gross. and yes i admit, it was slightly because i was jealous, but whatever. betty didn't have to act so idiotic and desperate.

betty's skinny, too.

"what about you, y/n?" peter said, locking eyes with me.

"i dunno. i never really get any."

something changed in peter's expression, but as soon as it was there, it was gone.

i took another fry. they were really good, for some reason.

"fattie," peter laughed, pulling his lunch tray back, "and then you complain about not getting roses!"

that caused a round of laughs in the small group, but my heart dropped to my feet.

i was right. i was overweight. even peter noticed.

freaking peter noticed.

god, i was ugly and fat, and even peter saw that.

of course he liked liz. he'd be crazy not to. she was curvy and skinny and petite and pretty and skinny.

she was skinny.

i didn't have her hourglass figure.

never did i ever want out of my own skin more.

"y/n?" pete frowned. "i-i'm sorry, it was a joke, i didn't-"

"no, no, not that. i, uh, i... forgot i was supposed to meet with a teacher. sorry. i have to go."

i didn't go to any teachers.

i did go to the bathroom.

and i hid in the handicapped stall. i didn't cry, or sob, or weep or whatever it was stupid girls did in hallmark movies or stuff.

i stood in front of the mirror and picked out everything i hated, making a mental list in my head.

i didn't finish that list, not even after 30 minutes when the bell rung.

the rest of the day flew by rather quickly, it seemed. i felt like i was trapped in a warm haze, but not the fuzzy, happy warmth. i didn't like the way i was thinking. it's like i wanted my brain to turn off, these intruding, ugly thoughts were taking up too much room.

i felt icky.

when i got home, i didn't have my normal after-school snack like i usually did. i went straight upstairs and did homework.

i finished two essays (one that wasn't due until two weeks, and one that was due two days from now), my math homework and studied for my math test, started my science project, and did my french flashcards (and studied them a bit).

i must have been locked in my room for hours, because by the time i got up, it was dark outside.

i wasn't a studious person, and the only reason i did any of this was to forget for a little while. to snap out of it. and for a while, it worked.

"y/n, honey!" my mom screamed from downstairs, and as i glanced at the clock, i realized it was time to have dinner.

but i wasn't hungry.

well, i was.

let me rephrase that; i didn't want to eat.

however, i didn't want my mother yelling at me, so i went down anyways. not that i was planning to eat.

"mom?"

"oh, hey. i already set the table, you seemed like you were working hard and i didn't wanna bother you. dad's working late. go sit down-"

"not hungry."

she frowned. "well, you have to eat something."

"but i'm not hungry," i said, hating how sharply it came out.

my mom gave me warning look. "look, i've had a long day, so don't start with me."

"mommmm," i whined.

"sit."

so i did. i felt bad about bothering her.

i ate. small, tentative bites, forcing it all down. we didn't talk.

silently, i put my dish in the sink, before heading upstairs. the food sat at the bottom of my stomach, like a pile of heavy rocks. i wanted them out.

so i turned on the shower and locked the bathroom door, kneeling in front of the toilet. i pressed my fingers to the back of my throat and kept them there for a second. at first, all i got was bile.

but then i threw up.

peter and i started talking more again. i think he got in a fight with liz.

i asked him if they were dating, and he said no.

i think he started hanging out with me again because i got skinny. i know for a fact that i'm skinnier than liz. i weigh less then her now.

the numbers told me that.

but i didn't listen.

i didn't stop, and how could i? when i'd gotten this far?

we got in a fight. not the yelling kind, though. well, kind of. i yelled a bit.

i thought he was complimenting me. he said i looked skinny, so i thanked him.

"no... i-" he paused, trying to get his thoughts together, "you look skinny, yes, but not in a good way."

"what? what do you mean? like, there's only a good way," i laughed, slightly nervous.

peter ingnored that. "have you been eating enough, angel?" his voice was soft, but there was worry in it. why was he worried? this is the best i've ever been.

"do you ask liz that, too?"

"i- what?"

"liz is skinny. you don't ask her that."

"that- that is different. y-you haven't been eating, have you? is-"

"god, parker! stop! it's none of your business!" maybe if i hadn't been so flustered, i'd have come up with a better comeback.

i was hunched over the toilet, but nothing was coming out. everything hurt.

my head. my stomach.

my throat was scratchy and raw.

i didn't hear the knocking on the door.

i don't really remember peter coming in. i thought i locked it. what was he doing at my house? i couldn't remember.

i wanted to sleep.

i think i was crying. i don't know. i only vaguely remember the hot tears.

i slightly remember him pulling me away from the toilet and into his arms. there were lots of holes in my memory for that day.

he stayed with me, though. one thing i'm sure about is that peter never left my side. i can recall bright lights. tubes. i was laying on something. white walls. white sheets.

what was engraved into my head was peter whispering "i love you" over and over again. in the bathroom. in the car. was it a car? as they hooked me up to cables.

all that mattered, though, was that i was skinny now. just the thought made me feel light and airy.

to think that all it took was a little motivation and a weighing scale.

#reader discretion advised #tw ed #tom holland x reader #spiderman #tom holland #peter parker #peter parker x you

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jaegersdevil · 9 months

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a few people wanted the reason why they broke up in my previous fic, so here is the prologue to it's a bad idea, right? i will admit, this is v short, and it's a shit way to break up, but they got their happy ending, i guess.

—

"We need to talk," Eren whispers, standing in your doorway. It was past 11 pm on a Monday, and the rest of the floor of your apartment complex had already turned in for the night.

You hadn't expected to see your boyfriend at your front door tonight, but you were more caught off guard by his words.

You tilt your head, your hand still on the door. "About what?"

He doesn't meet your eyes, choosing to look past you and into your apartment. He wonders if this is the last time he'd be welcome here.

"I think we should break up..." He says it so softly you almost don't hear it. His voice is solemn, with tears in his eyes, but he doesn't waver.

"Oh, okay," You furrow your eyebrows, noticing the way his eyes seemed more green than usual. Were his eyes always this bright? "Why?"

"I," He sighs, swallowing. "Well, I've been thinking about us and how we haven't been speaking, and-and I know it's neither of our faults. I just think we need some time apart so we can reconnect, you know? Get to know each other again, like we used to, so this doesn't burn out, and we never see each other again. I know it's a shit reason to break up, but I want you forever, and I'm rambling, shit."

Your hand slips off the door. And when you don't say anything, Eren tries to lean down to see your eyes.

Eren runs his hand over his face, his cheeks flushed in embarrassment from talking too much. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

"It's okay," You don't meet his eyes.

"That's it?" He freezes, looking directly at you. Eren tilts his head like a puppy, and you know he is waiting for you to fight. And maybe you should fight for your relationship, but you will if he does, and right now, he would rather have time away than work through it.

"What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?" You look at him, throwing your hand up. Despite knowing exactly what he is talking about, you are annoyed he has dropped this on you without warning.

"I don't know! Scream at me, hit me, I don't care. I deserve that."

You shake your head, swaying on your feet. "No, you don't," you sigh. "It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault. I mean, it's not like you fucked my best friend or, or—."

"God, no. I would never do that," Eren looks at you like you slapped him. "I—I just think we should spend time apart before we both get hurt in a way we can't reverse."

"Then there's nothing for me to scream at you for," You speak quietly. A thousand thoughts are circling around your head.

"Y/n—"

"Do you love me, though? Or did?" Your voice breaks, but the tears haven't yet reached the surface. You don't think you'll cry.

Eren's eyes widen, and he steps forward, his hands outstretch. "I will always love you. I don't think I could ever stop. I will wait forever if it means you'll be mine again. We just need to get through this distance."

You nod and your eyes soften when you look at his face. "Another time, then? Friend?"

Eren's pained expression only cut deeper when you spat out the last word. But he nods anyway, accepting the olive branch. "Definitely, friend."

#rahahahahaha #eren jaeger #attack on titan x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren jeager imagines #eren jeager x reader #eren yaeger imagine #eren yaeger x reader #attack on titan imagine #eren jaeger imagine #eren yeager x reader #eren angst #— ann writes!

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bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky · 8 months

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Is it bad that I get annoyed when boyfriend comes over and wants to use my stuff?

take my phone / apply watch charger for example.

he has his own chargers. But he doesn't ever bring them when he stays here. He just always uses mine. He will take my headphones off my phone charger so he can charge his phone, or he'll come out of my bedroom saying "your watch was charged so I took it off the charger and put mine on. Is that cool?"

which like, if mine is charged then yeah, fine, whatever.

but it's the way that he never asks permission.

He just does it and then tells me after the fact.

And this goes for everything. He doesn't ask, he just tells me whenever he does it.

He uses my shaving cream, too, which bothers me bc the one I use is kind of expensive. But because I told him he could borrow it once, he takes that as it being okay forever.

He also always brings his laundry over here without asking? and just uses my washer / dryer every weekend. Normally, I'd do my laundry on the weekend. But I can't do so when his stuff is in there. My laundry is really piling up now...

I even told him like 3 or 4 weeks ago that I don't like when the washer and/or dryer is running while I'm trying to study, because my machines are very loud and I can't have noise while I study. But he does laundry while I'm trying to study, anyway. So then I have to put headphone in and listen to music while I'm trying to learn (which I hate doing).

I dont know, I feel like it's immature of me to be annoyed by him using my stuff. But also, I just wish he would be more aware of the way he relates to me in my space.

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brookiidookiii · 4 months

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what are your favorite and least favorite ships? 👀

Oh boy do I have a lot of opinions

- tbh I like a lot of Jo ships. Jock joeather jomaria,, ngl lately I’ve been in a joeather mood. Her x any girl is always a classic. The only guy I can ship her with is brick really 😭 I think they have really good chemistry. And I am a sucker for rivalries + it’s been a childhood OTP. I low key thought they were gonna end up together when I first watched s4.

Now I could write essays on joeather forever. Their rivalry could’ve been something great but the writers were awful. I think Jo should kiss her enemies

- yeah sorry I’m a duncney enjoyer and I do not care how toxic they were. Adds flavor. Heathney is excellent too. Courtney just needs someone who will enable her bad behavior (also sorry I prefer heathney over gwourtney). The TikTok fandom is really annoying about duncney tho because I’ll see videos about how “why does no one ever talk about how toxic duncney is :(“ while all the tumblr fandom does is talk about how they can make them worse lmaooo

- samkota is my favorite canon couple

- MKulia duhhhh I’ve been a shipper since I watched the reboot, which I started watching probably a month before s2 got released. Toxic yuri

- Chemma in the sense that it’s ironic and I can just make memes about them I don’t actually like them

- gwoey ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

- Trent x Lindsay is a secret rarepair of mine. They can be cute

- SKYELLLAA as much as I love toxic yuri I love wholesome stuff too. I think they are neat

- sanders x MacArthur. Idek how to explain what kind of relationship they’d have but I think they are both butch lesbians. MacArthur you are my lord and savior

Okay least favorites let’s go. Also heads up I don’t really care for any of the m/m ships 😭 mostly because I don’t care for many of the male characters lol

- zoke. They didn’t even do anything wrong like I LIKE them but they’re just so boring and unentertaining that what’s even the point yk. And when Zoey got superpowers after Mike left. Stop. Secondhand embarrassment. Like in s4 they were obnoxious at best but in all stars that made me truly pray on their downfall. I like fanon zoke.

In my mind they had a sweet romance that lasted a few years until they got a bigger divorce and left on good terms

- any and all Noah ships sorryyyy he’s overrated and I don’t like Noah at all. I don’t get the hype around alenoah it’s not that good. Everytime someone calls MKulia yuri alenoah an evil politician gets another year added to their life. I don’t like you. Like I get why people like noco. Just pure fluff, which isn’t for me, and they did have that ear kiss which was something, but I still hate it

I saw someone say alenoah was basically just aleheather without heather and yeah. Everytime I see someone list out the reasons Alejandro would be into Noah it’s just the same reasons Alejandro’s into heather.

Also MKulia is more like joeather anyway but whateva,,

- I don’t even make that many sexuality headcanons bc I guess I just don’t think about it but I can tell you who’s straight. Damien is straight. He is the most heterosexual person the series has ever made. I don’t think he should be shipped to with men. Also Wayne is straight

- sugella because as much as I love toxic yuri, that doesn’t even sound like fun toxicity just misery. It’s not for me 😭 I still stan sugar tho

- ripaxel. I tried to like it SORRRYYYY ripper is annoying and he needs the death penalty. Everytime they’re compared to jock I lose a year off my life. Ripaxel is what jock haters think jock shippers like. You are all wrong.

Axel is my queen and lord and savior. It’s okay babygirl we can ride off into the sunset together

- prileb. Why did it exist. I hate this. But seeing priya in love was pretty cute I gotta admit

- gwuncan. Self explanatory

- Scottney cause wtf 😭😭😭 once again I like them in the sense that I can make memes about it but bro SCOTT???? Courtney you can do better than that thing. Scott has skidmarks

- fanon brott 💀💀💀 I don’t like fanon brick in general. Y’all do him dirty. Ong Scott would not let brick use him as his Barbie doll for clothes. Scott would make fun of brick for liking fashion. Do you know nothing about Scott? Saw someone once say that they would watch legally blonde together HELL NO.

Also I really really hate that when I go out looking for jomaria fanfics, they’re only ever tagged as side couples in brott fics. Are you kidding me.

- bro the malejandro fanfics 😭 who is writing these things. Some of those titles make me lose it. I think we all should stop acknowledging mal and all stars existences

- gwody. Once again that big ass chin motherfucker doesn’t deserve Gwen.

- Jo x any other guy. Sorry. She doesn’t deserve any of those fuckers. Jock is the exception because at least he’d treat her right but even then he’s just a guy

- I don’t like Scott x anyone in general. Even Dott I’m hesitant because it would never work out and that’s what makes it soooo fun to explore because in the end she always ends up killing him

bruh most of these yaoi ships piss me off idk I don’t get the appeal for any of them. But I draw whatever people ask from me idrc it’s not a big deal LOLLL

Also this fandom is so goddamn cringe for calling straight couples yuri/yaoi. YOU LOOK EMBARRASSING OKAY

There’s a lot more couples I dislike than like tbh. I don’t think this fandom or its opinions sorry guys

#ask #I am a hater sorry #I have a lot more platonic dynamics in my head

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whumpcloud · 1 year

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Can we see another instance of Most Pathetic Boy Vincent being the most pathetic & desperate whumper ever? Pretty please? 😟😟😟 Also you're AMAZING at this absurdly specific brand of whump, the unwilling cuddling scene will forever live rent free in my head

afsfdfd yes we can absolutely have this. i have been microwaving an idea for days and this is the perfect place to put it. also hehe thank you <3 i've grown a fondess for writing characters (but particularly whumpers) that are just like. so bad at their role. like literally what are you doing. anyway

content: lady whump, vampire whumper, slapping

This isn't the first gathering that Vincent has dragged Clary to, but it's certainly the most annoying one. Vincent seems to be getting more irritated by the second. Why does he even go if he doesn't want to see any of these people? At least no-one has fed from her this time. If she was more creative she'd think of a better metaphor about it than 'being drunk without the part where it's fun'.

"Nikolai Dezhnyov!" Vincent says suddenly, pulling Clary over towards another vampire. "It's nice to see you again."

Clary seems to perk up at the name.

"Mhm." Nikolai eyes him with zero interest. "Victor Maddox, was it?"

"Vincent," Vincent replies, trying not to grit his teeth. "Though last time we met you were much more fond of referring to me as a 'pathetic whelp'."

Nikolai's lips turn up into a smile. "Yes, that sounds like something I'd say to you. And I suppose you think dragging that poor girl around with you makes you worthy of being referred to as something else?"

"I--" Vincent's grip on Clary tightens. "I'd hope so."

"What's your name?" Nikolai asks, turning to Clary.

Vincent starts to answer. "Her name is--"

"I did not ask you," Nikolai says sharply.

Clary can't help giggling at Vincent's prompt mouth-shutting. "Clary Nikitin. Nikitina."

"Nikitina?" Nikolai says, then something Vincent doesn't understand.

Clary grins and replies. Oh. They must be speaking Russian. Vincent picks at his nails. What is this feeling?

Is he feeling jealous?

That's stupid. Why would he be feeling jealous that Clary is talking to a man who called him a brat? Clary laughs, and it isn't a spiteful or mocking laugh, it's just nice, and Vincent is suddenly furious.

"Excuse us," Vincent snaps, and pulls Clary away.

"A-Ah-- da svidania!" Clary calls, and receives a smile and a wave in return.

Vincent shoves her into an empty room and up against the wall by her shoulders.

"Don't do that again," Vincent hisses.

Clary stares at him like he's an idiot. "Do what?"

Vincent doesn't have the words to actually express what he wants, but Clary seems to get it after a short silence.

"Are you mad that we were speaking Russian?" Clary says, in total disbelief.

"Yes!" Vincent growls, hitting the wall beside her head. It doesn't make him feel better when she jumps.

"Did you feel left out?" Clary mostly wants to tell him that he's being an idiot, but she doesn't. "That's... you're being unreasonable."

"You're mine," Vincent says, as though he's trying to convince himself he has some control here. "I don't like it. I should know what you're saying and doing at all times. Don't do it again."

"What, so I'm banned from speaking a language now?" Clary snaps.

Vincent slaps her, hard enough that it stings his hand for a very brief moment. "You know that's not what I meant! Don't speak to me that way!"

Clary gently touches her nose, and her fingers come away bloody. "...fine."

taglist: @whumpsday @whumpycries @whumpwillow @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @whumpshaped @suspicious-whumping-egg @chibichibivale @melancholy-in-the-morning @zillastar13 @bloodinkandashes @whump-me-all-night-long @sickophantic @itsmyworld23 @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @annablogsposts @whumpdreamz @thebirdsofgay

#polly's prose #things end | people change #clary nikitin #vincent maddox #one of vincent's many problems is that he's like. a fucking poser afsfdfad #anyway reminder that vincent was a total bastard #also if you're wondering. nikolai is another vampire oc i have. he's chill if weird afsdf

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neptunes-curse · 2 years

Text

Competitive || FW

even though Fred loves you, that doesn’t stop him from trying his hardest to beat you in quidditch.

pairings: fem!hufflepuff!chaser!reader

warnings: cussing, meantions of eating/food, mentions of anxiety, mention of death, friendly competition, very bad injury, blood, concussions, and passing out

authors note: Cedric’s not dead, because i said so. I know it’s been forever since i posted but y’know, life gets in the way. Also, I know nothing about palm reading so if i’m wrong/something is inaccurate, i’m really sorry. I edited this, so hopefully it’s better 👍

(gif not mine)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

You were sitting in the great hall for breakfast, next to all of the Hufflepuff quidditch team. Cedric was making sure everyone knew the strategies, which he had already done 3 times this morning alone. But all you could think about was the semi-finals game tonight against Gryffindor. It felt like your team had been preparing for this since the beginning of time. You were ready, but it didn’t stop your stomach from being tied in a knot. Especially since you were going to play against your very competitive boyfriend, Fred Weasley. By no means would he go easy on you, gosh, probably harder on you since you were dating. He’d been teasing you about it for weeks.

“Y/n, are you even listening?” a very annoyed Cedric complained from across the table, snapping his fingers.

“What- yes, of course I am. It’s not like I’ve heard it a million bloody times already.” You replied with an eye roll, wanting this to be over so you could go back to enjoying your meal.

“So, as I was saying, I’m at right, Y/n is at left…” He trailed off about our starting positions, and you went back to daydreaming before your friend told you it was time for class.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

“Nervous, darling?” Fred teased from the other side of the table during divination.

“Me, Nervous? No, never-“ You said with sarcasm in your voice as you started writing down your results from the palm reading you did on him earlier. “And,” you continued, “Your palm reading says you’ll have great misfortune later, so who knows, maybe Hufflepuff will win.”

“Aw, this is all bull shit anyway.” Fred said rolling his eyes and looking up at you.

You say, laughing, “Now you’re just scared, Freddie-“ Which is true, because you could tell he was nervous too. He always picked at his nails when he was nervous. It was a bad habit, but still was something you picked up on.

“Whatever you say, Hufflepuff” He winked at you then seemingly went in for a kiss, before pulling his head back and ruffling you hair.

“Heyyyyyy~” you whined sarcastically

Fred chuckles in response “No kissing until the game tonight, when I win.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

40 minuetes until the game. You were shaking, the butterflies in your stomach wilder then ever. Walking down the hallways was a task in itself, the heavy broom in your hand and your quidditch robes waying you down. Not to mention your knees trembling with every step. You were naturally a anxious person, but the semi-finals of the quidditch season was stressful. Cedric had requested you get there 30 minutes early, preferably earlier than that, but nobody was listening at that point after he’d gone over our strategy for scoring on Oliver Wood for the millionth time.

When you finally made it to the pitch, you were fifteen minuetes late. Cedric automatically flew down to you, shaking his head.

“Y/N, where we’re you? You’re the last one here.”

“I can tell, Cedric. Someone had to do it though.” You laughed and hopped up on your broom, quickly flying past to him and up to your starting position.

“C’mon Cedric, we’re waiting!” Everyone around you laughed, but the captain didn’t look too amused.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

You couldn’t belive it. The game was about to start. Oliver and Cedric were doing the coin toss, and if you thought your nerves were something before, everything was 10 times worse now. Your heart was pounding, limbs shaking, and frankly, you thought it was a heart attack. Fred was sitting on his broom across from you, and right when the whistle blew, He winked and flew off. You had barely any time to recover from the wink or the chills, and swiftly flew off to your teammate who had acquired the quaffle.

Flying behind your teammate, Heidi Macavoy, was not easy. The Gryffindor team was being very aggressive, and bludgers were flying right past your head with very little warning. You and Heidi were nearing the goal, and Oliver looked at you two as if he had fire in his eyes. You started trying out Cedric’s strategy, flying all over the right end of the pitch to distract the beater. It didn’t seem to be working though. He was very focused, and when Heidi threw the quaffle, it barely got anywhere before Oliver deflected it with his broom. It was going to be a long match.

45 minutes later, neither team had scored and many injuries had been sustained. Cedric had nearly fallen to his death 3 times, Angelina Johnson took a quaffle to her now-very-crooked nose, and you have had over 20 bludgers come into contact with your head. All sent at you by the one and only, Fred Weasley. He wasn’t trying to hurt you, just teasing really. After the 21st time he’d done it, you looked over at him and gave him a very mean stare. A warning, that he better stop or you know, something bad would happen. And just when you were done with your stare, a fast flying bludger hit your boyfriend smack in the head. Next thing you know, Fred was off his broom, and falling down towards the ground. It seemed like nobody noticed but you. You sat there, watching your boyfriend fall down bascially at the speed of light. You were frozen. And just like that, Madam Hooch blew the whistle.

Fred’s body stopped right above the ground, the wound on his head very prominent.

“Everyone get down. The game will finish when each team has fully conscious players.” Madam Hooch yelled out loud enough for everyone to hear. There were groans from all around, the stands full of people looking very disappointed. Oliver Wood looked near tears, and ran off to the locker rooms.

“Someone is butt hurt.” Anthony Rickett muttered.

“With our luck this means 50 more hours of practice.” Katie Bell chuckled.

You weren’t worried about their sly comments though, only yor boyfriend. He was being taken to the hospital wing with Madam Pomfrey.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

When Fred woke up, He found a half-asleep Y/N by his side. He had a wrap around his head, and his legs felt rather weak.

“W-what happened?” Fred blinked hard and stretched his arms out.

“Fred! Finally, you’ve been out forever. You took a bludger to the head.” You turned to him and placed a hand on his forehead.

“Did we win? Is Gryffindor going to the championship?” He quickly said sitting up and looked at you eagerly.

“They called the game off. We’re continuing next week when everyone recovers.” Shrugging, you continued to check on him and handed Fred his glass of water

“Oi, what rubbish.” He looked over at you and smirked. “We’ll still win.”

“Oh, we’ll see…” you looked back down at him. “I know neither team has won yet, but could I still get that kiss?”

He smirked and moved closer to you. “Gonna make out with an injured man, eh? Sounds dangerous.”

“Fred Gideon Weasley, when have you ever done anything safe?” You say, giggling and moving a hair out of his face.

“Hm, good point love.” Fred shrugs, leaning into you and placing a soft kiss on your lips.

It was heavenly, as all of your kisses with Fred were. But, you two were soon interrupted.

“Ooooo, what do we have here?” Fred’s twin brother, George, teased in a sing-song tone

“Piss off you-“ Fred said, pulling away.

“Afraid i can’t, Oliver’s right behind me. Wants to have a stern word with you for passing out. Going on and on about how ‘they can’t cancel quidditch’ whatever that means.” George said walking over. “Hate to ruin your love fest though, really.”

“Oh shut up, George!” You laughs and wack his shoulder

“Voilence will not be tolerated, Y/N.” The younger twin said jokingly.

“Rubbish, you big git- call me when you survive Oliver, Freddie.” You smiles at your boyfriend and gave him one last kiss on the cheek, and one more wack for his brother.

Fred laughs and smiles, “This isn’t over though, i’m still gonna make fun of you!”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

reblogs and likes really help. If you liked it, consider a re blog or follow!! <3

#fanfic #harry potter #fred weasley #weasley #george weasley #fred wealsey fic #fred weasley blurb #fred weasley x reader #fred wealsey fluff #george wealsey imagine

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itssunamore · 2 years

Text

tw: hints at underage drinking

Sakusa Kiyoomi would never admit it, but you're his best friend.

When people look at the two of you, he sees the lingering question of "how are they friends?" and he understands, he really does.

He's aware he's not an easy person to get along with: he's prickly and hides in corners and glares at anyone who comes close, but you never seemed to care.

You came along one day, plopping down next to where he was standing (at a secluded corner during a party), turning to look at him and ask, "mind if I sit here?"

And because despite the fact that he doesn't like people in general, he also had his ridiculous pride which made him want to prove to Komori that he could make friends on his own.

So he let you, and the rest was history.

So when he wakes up to his phone vibrating like crazy at 2 am one night and sees that you called him—called him 17 times to be exact—he's never dialed your number so quickly in his life.

"Omi?"

And his heart breaks along with your voice.

"What happened?"

He hears you breath shakily, hears the faint rustling of the sheets as you sit up, and he hears as the tears start falling.

"They broke up with me."

"Oh," is all he can say, because despite the fact that you're falling apart on the other side of the line, he can't help but feel relieved, knowing you will never have to cry over that asshole ever again.

"Yeah," you say. "It's okay. I wasn't what they wanted anyway."

Sakusa wants to correct you, because he knows you're all anyone could ever want: loving, kind, loyal to a fault. Anyone except your ex, apparently. "They must be stupid then."

You giggle, sniffling a bit. "Maybe so."

Silence falls, but Sakusa decides silence is better than your cries. He sits there and wonders how to make you feel better when he's so far away.

"You know what the worst part is?" you ask after blowing your nose. "I can't even call them my ex. We weren't anything ever but it was everything to me. What am I supposed to do with that?

We were close, and for a moment they were almost mine but they gave me absolutely nothing to hold on to."

You're crying again, and Sakusa takes a deep breath. "I don't know," he admits. "I don't know."

You wake up to the sound of your phone falling to the floor.

You groan, rubbing your eyes (they sting like hell), and squinting at the clock. 10:47, it blinks back at you.

Your phone is dead, so you plug it in and make your way to the kitchen. The house is dead silent, a good thing because your head is still pounding from last night—how shitty of your ex to break up on you on fucking Christmas of all days.

How in character, you suppose ruefully.

Your memory from last night is hazy; you clutch at your head in pain while you serve yourself a glass of water. You remember arriving, their smile at you as they said, "you look amazing." There were quite a bit of people there last night, someone had offered you a cup of something, and then another, and then another. You remember an image of your ex's eyes hovering over yours, the warmth of their breath fanning over your lips as you lean in and nearly- nearly kiss them.

And you remember hearing them admit to someone that they never cared for you, that it was all a stupid dare and they were getting bored.

Your mind goes back to the four months you spent together, and all the nearly kisses you had.

You gulp down the water, grip tight around the glass. Omi was right, you sigh. How annoying.

Ah shit, Omi.

You dash back to your room where your phone lay abandoned and you huff impatiently as it takes forever to turn on.

You have 3 unread messages from - Omi 🤮

Omi 🤮: Hey are you feeling better?

Omi 🤮: y/n?

Omi 🤮: When you're done moping about that damn fool text me, okay?

You no longer feel bad about making him stay on call with you at that ungodly hour.

You're mean, you respond. Jerk, you add for good measure.

The response is almost immediate.

Omi 🤮: You're alive

Omi 🤮: I was starting to get worried

This boy-

Omi 🤮: How do you feel?

Your angry reply dies as you fall back on your bed with a huff.

you: Like shit

Omi 🤮: Have you eaten?

Your stomach grumbles and you grimace.

you: I'm on it rn i swear

He doesn't respond, so you let your phone plop next to you on the bed. Then it starts ringing.

"You're not 'on it' or anything, you liar."

"Oh my god, what are you a creep"

He chuckles. "Just go get food. You'll feel better."

"Okay, okay, you're so annoying," you put him on speaker once you reach the kitchen.

"You're the annoying one here."

"Whatever," you laugh as the cereal falls into the bowl. "You love me anyway."

"Hmph," is all he says, and you laugh again, imagining him scrunch up his face (like he's constipated, you snort), like he always does when he doesn't want to admit he cares.

"Are you still gonna come?"

"Why wouldn't I?" you ask. "I gotta be there to support my bestie, my bff, my partner in crime-"

"Stop," he groans and you laugh again. "I just figured you'd be too busy moping about that loser."

"I am not moping," your grin falls from your face and he snorts.

"You woke me up at 2 am last night because you were moping."

"I just got my heart broken; jeez Omi, can't you be nice to me for two seconds," you groan. "I was gonna apologize for waking you up but since you're being an ass about it now I won't."

"You love me anyway," he repeats your previous words back to you, and you wish you were there to wipe that stupid smirk off his face.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," you roll your eyes. He hums, and you sigh.

He says nothing else, letting you eat your cereal, a more somber mood settling between you both.

"Thanks," you eventually say. "I mean it."

He hums again.

"Love you." And seeing the 6:34:27 long duration of the call, you know he does too.

#moments - cate canning #with the ex not sakusa #ima try to add a song for each fic #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu fic #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu fluff #fluff #hurt/comfort #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x you #sakusa kiyoomi fluff #chapter:prologue

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picklerocket · 9 months

Text

I'm trying to make sense of something. Why am I always the one who needs to reach out to talk to someone? Am I not a passing thought in others' minds? Do I not matter enough for passive conversation? What makes me so unapproachable? Am I intimidating? Am I scary? Am I bad? I feel like I am not thought of in general. Even when I reach out, the conversations don't last. I don't have anyone who wants to talk to me every day or check up on me. I used to. Is that normal? For everyone to feel like flecks of pepper avoiding my dish soap? I just don't get why I can have so many friends from over the years and just. Pass the days staring at my phone wishing people would talk to me. I even started an ask blog and it's already dead and dying because there's just... no interest? No point? I have one ask to answer and then idk what to do after that, because I'm too scared to try to rp on it because I'll mess it up anyway and everybody will think I'm annoying and out of character. As if that's even possible. I guess I'm just having a Lilo and Stitch moment where I'm asking whatever powers that be; Can I have one person I can just talk to? Anyone? Just one. And it doesn't even have to be the nicest person you have. I just want somebody I can. Talk. To. Who wants. To talk. To me. That's it. That's all.

And this isn't a call-out for anybody who has ever talked to me and considers me a friend. I know I have friends. That's what's so confusing. I have friends, and I see that they have friends who talk to them and message them and always seem to, I don't know, actually want them to stick around? But for me, it always feels conditional. "Oh, you want to show me your art? Cool! Here's mine! Also we aren't going to talk about your art at all now c:" or they all stick around until the second I get frustrated with something and I'm not fun anymore, or I get some feedback and then radio silence.

And I totally get that everyone has their own lives and own shit going on, obviously. But like. Do I matter so little that there can't be room made for me? Because that's how it feels. It feels like if I show any weakness or any anger, I'm just suddenly not worth the effort. In turn that makes me feel like I can't trust anyone with my thoughts and feelings if they're just going to brush it off, I guess? It just feels like every aspect of my life is pointing me toward just. Being alone forever and being okay with being alone, but. I'm not okay with it. Do you get it? I feel like I'm explaining in circles but that's because I am. That's why I'm so confused.

Anyway I'm done writing this, and if I get any response making me feel silly about it I'm going to delete it because I'm genuinely never this open about this stuff and I'm terrified of admitting how lonely I feel. So uh. I'm going to shop at goodwill now, bye.

#pickle blogging #tw negative #i guess

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docholligay · 1 year

Text

Flowers: Printemps

I made it! The review of Flowers: Printemps is done before the Winter stream tonight. @iscahwynn usually I ask the patron before I write the review if there’s anything they’d like me to answer, but I was in a crunch, a bit, so if there is anything you’d like me to answer, just let me know and I’d be happy to! 2300 words.

Firstly, I made a mistake. Before I go into this, I want to say: A) The mistake was mine. B) If I had to fuck up in this way, I am so very glad that I did it for someone who has always been a really wonderful and understanding patron. C) Thank god it was for a series that I would go on record as saying I broadly enjoy.

That being said, I am never taking a visual novel commission again. I charged for it like a book review, and it probably took me three or four times as long to complete. I don’t know what IDIOT thought I had in my head that I could completel a visual novel as quickly as an actual novel, and that the only thing slowing me up was the streaming, but I was out of my goddamn mind. So! Iscah has gotten the only visual novel commission that will ever exist, because what I’d have to charge for it even at the lowball per hour I do book reviews, it would be too high.

OKAY NOW TO THE ACTUAL GAME.

Trying to figure out how I feel about this game, contrasted with the other two. Autumn is most definitely my favorite. Yuzuriha made me absolutely insane, but in a way that by the end of the game, was affectionate in nature, really. I think I actually would have liked her more from the get-go if I had played the two games before it first, because I would have been more used to her bullshit. Or maybe not! Autumn gave me a chance to get at the core of Yuzuriha’s weird stuff, so by the time I was playing Spring, places where I very much would be annoyed with her (And sometimes still am: I swear to god if she asks if it’s that time of the month again I’m gonna blow) I rolled my eyes and simply said, “Oh my god, you ain’t shit Yuzu” and moved on with my day. Like, I know she’s a fucking loser so it didn’t bug me.

ANYWAY, Autumn was definitely the best of the two as far as storyline, school uniforms, and everything else. But I can’t decide if I like this or Summer better.

I like Erika a LOT more as a character. She is still my ultimate fave, and she and Chidori are my ultimate couple. But the way they treat Erika’s disability in Summer hugely rankles me, and it’s just a level of infantilization that is largely absent in Spring and Autumn. I’m not going to waste 86% of this review of Spring litigating the problems I had with Summer’s engagement with a disabled character, so suffice to say it was deeply annoying.

Spring’s pacing is horrendous. I mean, in a way that I found not fun. This took me forever to play not only because playing a visual novel takes much much more time than reading a book, but also because sometimes halfway through a session I would find myself bored and distracted, which, I mean I know I’m an ADHD shit, but isn’t an issue I had much with the other two games, and I don’t think that was just because of the streaming. I’ve been bored with things I was actively streaming before. I think it just maanges to constantly feel like you are spending forty years in the desert. Which is a bummer, because the moments that land are so very good.

Anyway, let’s talk about some of the moments and characters and we’ll see if I can reach a conclusion.

I think part of the trouble here is that I don’t emotionally connect with Suoh. I find a lot of her “thing” extremely, I guess, self-centered. She is so convinced that people are thinking about her and looking at her, and so every moment of her life she has to be thinkling about how she can’t have friends because she’s just SO awkward, and I know I should feel bad for her, I know that is the intention of the narrative, but when she’s fucking SURROUNDED by people who are being nothing but kind nad warm to her and constantly being told how gorgeous she is, it all comes off a bit pathetic. That being said! Characters like Suoh are most definitely NOT my thing, and I get that and I own that. It’s the ‘sad nerd’ thing, which is not a character archetype I connect with at all.

This is going to sound strange but I really love the love triangle here. I gotta be me: I ort of wish Mayuri would have stayed liking Rikka and having to let down Suoh. But I know where I am! Buy the ticket, take the ride, and I wasn’t disappointed the way I was with say, Autumn, because at no point did the game REALLY let me think that they weren’t going to get together if I grew my flower right. But I enjoyed that, at least for a pretty large series of moments, we had Mayuri in love with Rikka instead of both fighting over Suoh. I thought that was great.

I actually thought the Bloody Mary stuff was really fun and creepy! It’s been my favorite handling of any of the Seven Mysteries thus far. I felt the tension was really good, and unlike Rikka, I really enjoy a good ghost story.

I also really enjoyed, and they do this a couple times but I’m thinking of the time with Mayuri in the baths in particular, the way they switched between times. So it would be a few hours or a day agao, and now. I wish they had done more of that in later games, though I can see how some people might have found it clunky. On that moment, as a small aside, boy was I about to murder the Sasakis for getting in the way of the big lesbian confession.

The Sasakis! It’s funny because I told Iscah this game made me like Ringo and Ichigo more than any other game had managed. I never disliked them, but they weren’t endeared to me the way they are now, and iscah told me a lot of people really disliked the Sasakis in this game, because, well, they’re little shits. They play a prank on Souh that’s a little mean-spirited, admittedly. They fucking fake a disappearance. They unintentiuonally out Mayuri. I would die for them. I can see where people are coming from, but they aren’t actively mean people, they’re just little goblins who think of something funny and then have no further thoughts beyond that. I DON’T wish I had played this before Fall, because I doubt I would have had as much faith in the series as I did, but I feel like the who Yuzu dating situation might have landed with me a bit better if I had known them so well and had the capacity to feel bad for them that I do now.

On Mayuri, boy don’t the writers think they’re being cute here! I figured out that her secret was the she was a lesbian really early in the game, for two reasonms. Number one, I’ve consumed a gay media. But number two, oh my god they are so obvious about it, up to and including--and this is the one I am openly and without apology making fun of-- having the Sasakis call her “Yuri” for short.

So That I expected and loved, but I would be lying if I didn’t say I was a little taken aback by the fact that the secret isn’t that she’s a lesbian, or rather, not jsut that, but that she fell in love with her nanny, a woman that she herself says was like a mother to her. I know that not everyone has the deep level of squick I do for anything that isn’t QUITE incest, but has a familial level of closeness tied into it. I know that I think that’s fine. But for me, it was extremely, “can we not?” I mean, unless I’m deeply mistaken about the state of Japan, I think there’s still enough embarrassment about being a lesbian that Mayuri could feel strange about it. Or she could just be a weirdo! Or she could have been rejected before! There are so many options here that don’t necessarily have to be falling in love with a parental figure.

I LOVE LOVE Rikka forcing Suoh to be in a relationship with her. 800 points to Rikka Hanbishi for being so much more interesting than I have ever found her in any Floweers property thus far! And they did it by making her terrible! She is deeply besotted with Suoh, and at first early in the game that’s very cute and for awhile I just feel really bad for her because if you ask human beings named Doc who are me, Mayuri acts a little bit like an ass in the beginning

One thing this whole series of games does, and I think it does it really well, is have a light touch with people’s backstories. I DESPERATELY want to know more about Rikka being adopted and feeling like she will never ever measure up to the family she’s been adopted into. I want to hear so much more about that, and we fucking DON’T, and that’s so normal and real and natural, and I think it is such an amazing touch from a genre, not just visual novels, but yuri manga and anime are abd about this too, that tend to dump backstory on you. I am in love with and obsessed with their choices here. Same with how we never hear much about Erika’s family and we never find out why she can’t walk. She just can’t, and that’s that. Same with so much of Nerine’s backstory. I love it!

I do find it weird when Suoh is worried that other people won’t acept her for *reads notes* being emotionally abused by her stepmother? Mayuri I get. Mayuri’s thing is very fucking weird and I could see how people would be a little “eeeehhh” about it, but Suoh doesn’t have that. Under what banner could she possibly be rejected?

ADORE that she fails at the recital, that there’s this whole buildup about the soloist and accompanist having this deep bond, and you know it’s gonna be Mayuri and you’re expecting this beautiful clear, moment, and she fails! Suoh fails! She can’t get through the song! I was not expecting that at all, and I was so excited about it. What an amazing choice, to have the heroine fail.

I expected so so much more of Mayuri’s disappearance, and I am genuinely a little disappointed. So much is made of it in the latter two games, especially Summer, and so I was expecting a lot of emotional turmoil, and heaviness, and whispers, and drama. But, bitch is gone for like four minutes, including the credit roll. I’m with Chidori here, “What? It’s not like she died.” and so I think it actually made me scoff a bit more at so much being made of it in Summer, because I don’t think they ever really let the emotional resonance of the situatiuon sit with me in Spring. So, I’m glad I have the backstory for Winter. I am now totally set up to get what’s going on through Winter. But I don’t feel any more connection to Mayuri’s disappearance.

Hopes for Winter:

More Erika! I can never have too much Erika. I hope they treat her well, also.

This is me beginning for disappointment, I fear but I actually would like to see Rikka and Suoh get together. I know I shouldn’t, I know I should want Rikka’s overeagerness to not be rewarded, but sometimes I’m a soft touch and can’t help myself.

I don’t know if we’re supposed to get anything resolved with the Seven Mysteries, but I assume we’re going ton find out something about Mayuri’s disappearance? So maybe, anyway, i’d love to see more stuff that’s not just Sister Dahlia fuckin around or whatever.

In this game, Suoh has a line that I specifically wrote down, that she had many experiences this year at the academy “more bad than good” and I’m curious to see how that comes out. What? Mayuri disappeared? People have been really good to you here, Suoh, please explain.

BULLET POINT THOUGHTS FROM MY NOTES

The ballet fanservice seems very feminine. It is light, and sexy but in a very casual and airy way

If in fact the Japanese translation of, I guess, the ENTIRE chronicles of Narnia she's reading have changed lines to be more palatable, I think that sucks

"Foreign literature can have hidden ideas implied in the text" suoh I hate to inform you this is just called literature

This flower shit is INSANE when we could just...see that one of v these books is Erika's

Both neris father and grandfather were priests I'm DYING, and sister dhalia’s father too? Holy fuck no one in this game understands how priesthood works, fuck me ahahah

Oh my God is ichigo talking about a dogs purpose? That book was annoyingly mawkish

Just how mentally weak are you? Fuck I love erika. If you don't want to do it you can just refuse YES. In general, as an American rural jew, I have no patience for the 87 levels of politeness of Japanese, but the way erika weaponizes them and the way the narrative KNOWS SHE IS DOING IT gives me such fondness

Encounters on spring tying together in summer ripening in fall melting together in winter hmmmm

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khodorkovskaya · 11 months

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From now on.... men can go their own way.

Fuck men, we can all have better times with our friends anyway.

If a man sends a half arsed message or a shitty one, then shame on him for being an absolute dick head. He can fuck off. Honestly it only shows their own worth so they might feel hard done to or like theyve done nothing wrong at the end of the day, but in all honesty it's just a true reflection if them and their morals and standards. It says a lot more about them than it ever will about any of us hurt girlies.

It takes nothing to be kind, kindness is free

Friends are forever and always

yess let's gooooo

speaking of messages and how it reflects guys' morals, i wanna tell you something else really frustrating about my ex. so you know how i said that he was really bad at replying to messages, didn't care about my social media and stuff?

side note just to explain why him being on social media was so important to me: i have a food reviews account and it's a hobby of mine, it's v silly and i used to make little videos of me trying different foods. it was a whole thing and i always got a lot of comments from my friends about it. but my ex never cared! and i get it, not everyone has instagram. but i was really passionate about this food blog and put a lot of effort into the silly little videos i used to make. and id often be like "did you see my new video?" and he would sigh and roll his eyes. and then sometimes id show him my videos and he would be so annoyed. he literally had no respect! and yeah, it was all very silly and stupid, i never claimed that this food reviews blog was like deep and artistic or whatever. but it was important to me!!! he could've at least pretended that he cares, you know what i mean?

another side note: i grew up on social media so im very used to chatting to my friends all the time and posting instagram stories as i go along my day and stuff. and a part of social media culture is sending memes and funny/cute photos to people to show affection, right? like we always send things to each other like "haha this made me think of you". again, it's stupid, but it's a thing people do. and i would sometimes send him cute photos of kittens or bunnies or whatever like "hey, this is us <3" and again, he didn't care. and he never made an effort to maybe think like "huh, this is important to her, this is how she shows affection, maybe i should be a little more considerate instead of dismissing her stupid cat pictures". like it's the bare minimum!

anyway, whatever.

so back to what i wanted to say. when i left him, he suddenly started being active on social media and he would reply to my messages instantly. all of a sudden he started sending me cute photos of animals and even photos of foods to try like "hey, this would be neat for your food reviews blog". like he immediately did a 180!!! turns out showing basic human decency and basic respect towards my hobbies and communication style wasn't that hard after all, huh?

so naive little me was like "ohh maybe we could get back together". so i invite him to the cinema to test the waters, yknow. and after the movie we had a talk. and he was like "yeah, look at how much effort i put into trying to get you back these past couple of weeks". and that's when it hit me. showing interest in my hobbies is an "effort"? enjoying talking to me is an "effort"? and the way he showed that "effort" was by simply liking my instagram posts and replying to my messages in less than 24 hours. the tremendous "effort" he was talking about would take him 2 seconds of his time. and that was already more than enough and too much for him???

so yeah, the amount of effort a guy is willing to put into communicating with you really says a lot. replying to your text is too hard? double-tapping a meme you sent him is too hard? sitting through a minute long video of you is too hard? well fuck that! as you said, kindness is free. respect is free. caring for your significant other and making an effort is free! and if that's too hard? well fuck that!

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ducknotinarow · 8 months

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[Foot Clan AU] 2k12 Karai Casey - #

| send me “#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:

"And what makes you think you can just look through my phone? Fine. Not like you find anything it's not related to anything with the clan anyway."

- what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone

'Cae'

"Casey was annoying when we were kids" She pauses a moment and moves to change her wording. "Caseys always been annoying even when we were kids. He started to call me Rai so to get on my nevers why he thought it would I don't know. Not like it worked." It did. "So I figured if I was Rai, then he was Cae. And well I guess it just kind of stuck for me to keep with the nickname? Sure I still call him by name, but i'll admit when Shredder and such aren't around or its just us, he quickly goes back to being Cae to me. Don't think much on it."

- what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone

[image description] It's a quick shot taken just as Casey seems aware of a camera on him. There is an ice rink behind him, a few hockey players can be see in the distance. Casey seems to have a faint smile on his face even as hes catching Karai taking said photo of them. Of course she would deny it and tell him she was simply seeing if she had any bars. Claiming she was bored, but it wasn't a good lie for once.

"Sometimes the three of us just sneak out to get away from the compound. It drives Shredder mad when ever we do, claims he doesn't want anything happening to us. Which is why I point out I brought Casey along for a reason. In truth it just feel so damn cramped in that place at times. Like i'm suffocating. Don't get me wrong sometimes I get a kick out of how the foot soldiers seem to sweat and shake at the mere thought of getting on my bad side, because they fear" she gives a roll of her eyes "dear old dad." The word come out bitterly before she continues to talk.

"Not when I with them however, I don't get hockey in truth I can follow the basic rules at least but well. It makes Casey happy." She smiles a little "I know Casey got it pretty tough" She just never fully knew the extent "And well sure hes annoying, and a pest a lot. Always hanging around to annoy me cause he just can..doesn't mean I don't feel he should get a break himself time to time."

- what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone

Big by Betty Who

If legends are loud and built to stand out Guess that's who I'm meant to be Ten feet tall and I'm proud of it

"Cause Casey's a gaint and take up space clearly." She wont say the real reason and normally for these one I have just been letting the charter talk. But I feel this needs explanation so imma expose her here today. When picking these ring tones its meant to be a song that makes the my muse think of your for one reason or another. I just really feel this song fits well for Casey in this AU. Because Casey in a sense is made to feel sorry for being who he is because of Shredder. Karai is one who sort of falls for how Casey portrayals himself though with this over bearing confidence hes hiding behind in part Karai isn't fully blind and knows its not the full case, seeing how she dose like to try and sneak them out to places that makes Casey happy. Reminds him of his real family and such. But this is very much how Karai sees and views Casey as well. As someone who should be loud and proud of who he is. After everything happens? She keeps the song because this is how she wants Casey to live after knowing the truth.

She wants him to live Big to be obnoxiously and unapologeticly himself.

- my muse’s last text to your muse

[text] look i'll cover for you so you can see Raphael but don't take forever again this time?

[text] if your staying out late with him just stay with the turtles so im not staying up to help you sneak back in

----

[text] I swear Casey if you took my eye liner i'm breaking all of yours!! and will sneak into your room to make your face look like more trash than it already is!

----

[text] hey

[text] I sort heard Dad getting after you eariler. So thought maybe

[text] well wanna sneak out?

----

[text] Casey, i'm going to find you no matter where you went I will find you.

#muse| karai #madamkezzie #[ you're weird and annoying but your still my brother -aflockoffeathers]#phone contact meme #meme answers #ic reply #stay queued #((sometimes I think about the fact Karai only has her brother in this au and low key makes me feel bad for her XD and then I make her be a #bitch to casey at times knowing fully well she would choose casey over shredder even if thats gonna cost her uwu))#((context on text messages karai helping casey out with his whole dating raph #basicaly sibling threats #karais not good with talking but tried here best when she knew casey had a talk with thier dad ;3;#>:I shes not letting casey leave after his text to here ))

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