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garoujo · 7 months

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saetoru is talking abt you on her private blog (@/clorindes) yuckkkkk

CW BULLYING, LITERALLY IMMATURE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA, SUB POSTING.

hi nonnie, thank you for letting me know! since i’m leaving this blog & this platform for the foreseeable future i figured i might aswell get a few things off of my chest before i go. i apologise in advance for the vibes this post will probably bring, the discourse & the posts that will ofcourse follow, but i honestly i am not the first person to be targeted by this creator and i’m sure i won’t be the last considering the amount of creators that have been bullied off of this app by them.

first off i’ve had multiple blogs that would be considered bigger blogs such as @/hvnlydmn, @/atsymu + now this blog which is the biggest of all 3. i think there’s a sort of unspoken responsibility that comes with being a bigger blog which i know is no fun but it’s also because it can be super harmful on a site like this, when people weaponise their following.

on that note i’ll start this post by saying that i’ve known tee for probably around 3/4 years, maybe? we were mutuals on hvnlydmn & atsymu and we continued to talk on discord even when i was off of tumblr. i will honestly admit to this day i have never had a negative interaction with tee to my face and she was genuinely supportive of me during any discourse i was involved in. i am not some angel, i’ve had my fair share of crap on this app (of my own doing) but this post is not meant to come across like “oh she doesn’t like me so i’m calling her out” no. im sorry if this doesn’t line up with my brand and my ‘victim complex’ but i’m not gonna lie down and let someone on a power trip on a hobby app drag me through the mud.

first off i had began to get some off vibes from tee when i had started writing on garoujo, notably when i’d just hit my first milestone which was probably around 1k. during this i had decided to move my instagram theme from my main blog to my writing blog.

i’d noticed tee subposting (on main and on her personal blog which i followed at the time) about someone basically using the same theme as her, which after then clicking onto her blog i realised was an instagram theme. i didn’t think much of it, again me & tee were friends and she hadn’t came to me directly so ignored it. i was still a new blog and trying to solidly an aesthetic (before the beige lol) so i changed my theme / masterlists / layouts a lot.

a few more sub posts later i decided to message tee about it because with every thing i’d change / post on my blog, there always seemed to be another post. so i messaged her and got this response in: (i’ve blurred out my irl name btw) open up pics for convo!

so i let it slide, kept posting & that was that. probably a few days / a week later, tee had soft blocked me which then eventually led to me being hard blocked. i was upset ofcourse because i genuinely considered tee a good friend but i’ve always been a big advocate in controlling your space.

this was when, one of our mutuals in common (the first of many may i add) approached me on discord to say that just like now, i was being ripped to shreds on tee’s personal blog:

again i was notably upset about this because i was being accused of not only copying her theme but also her writing & masterlists, we did have a lot of mutuals in common so it was also upsetting knowing they would all be seeing these posts aswell. i allowed myself one sub post about “creating a narrative” because i was particularly frustrated but tee then also subposted about this, even though she had me blocked?

i would also like to say regarding our mutuals in common that this was not the first or last mutual to approach me regarding tee. i’ve had multiple people tell me that “they’re only mutuals with her because it would be more damaging not to be” “it’s easier to be on her side”. also i am not saying this is okay but i’ve had multiple of her current mutuals send me not only her posts, but screenshots of her private, personal instagram & also tell me about how all of them and their friends had a running joke / theory that tee made up her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) for attention.

regarding the accusations from tee i’d like to first comment on the instagram themes, again i had done an instagram theme on my main blog but it seemed to only be an issue when it was on my writing blog that was gaining traction. if the timing was off and it seemed like i copied her, i genuinely have nothing to say except it’s not the case— it’s instagram (which tee already admits she doesn’t own above) also the hanma writing? i’m still not 100% sure which drabbles she was referring to but i can only assume that 1. is when i posted a drabble about hanma fucking you outside of his subordinates house — this was a almost completely word by word rewrite of a suna drabble i done on my old blog @/atsymu i literally just changed the concept to fit tokyo revengers themes. i can post screenshots of this suna drabble also from my google docs dated February when i deactivated. the other one may have been some basic concept about him fucking you against the window.

she also mentions in the very first recent screenshot at the beginning of this post that i have apparently stolen concepts of fics / posts from her mutuals. what i want to say regarding this is, do you believe that i would have made it this far on stolen work? i don’t know any of the mutuals she’s referring to apart from 1 which i’ll get into. but every single accusation i’ve ever received has always come from someone associated or in contact with tee, she has always been at the root of it all but i have yet to receive a single anon or ask about me copying or taking inspiration from anyone’s work.

i know there was apparently a blog and an ex mutual of mine, who i had a lot of respect & time for who was under the impression i’d stolen their concept for this gojo fic. the whole premise of this fic is honestly not uncommon considering how many times people losing control of their techniques / powers / quirks during orgasm has been done in fanfiction. this concept was completely my own, i had originally posted shitposts about him losing control of his technique & also him putting you into a mating press / breeding before i’d decided to smoosh them together into a fic. we all read from the same workbook, we all have the same material to work off of — two people in a fanbase of THOUSANDS having a similar idea is not unheard of.

now onto the masterlist banners. the screenshot on the far left are the comparison photos that tee made herself— i’m sure you’ll be able to see them in better quality when she makes her own post about it; because obviously that’s going to come. first off i will say, i will admit i took inspiration from her official art masterlist banners — i thought hers looked good and i needed a masterlist so i used official art. fair game there although i only kept them for a few days before i changed again.

but onto the grey masterlist banners, i can honestly say i did not even know tee had this masterlist, also the only comparison i myself see is the colour. the only reason i chose grey was because i had started to use a grey / white overlay on my manga panels for my layout (as you can see far right), and as you know— i’ve always kept my colour scheme pretty consistent. on that note, regarding the actual layout of the masterlists— i’ve added screenshots from atsymu (that i could find due to it being deactivated) that shows the layout of my old masterlists, which was what i took inspiration from for my current. although the title font for each heading like headcanons is different, i had used the sort of old style, basic font that everyone uses before i had deactivated so it would match my fic headers i just don’t have photos obviously.

anyway on the back of this there was then discourse over me apparently copying tee’s kinktober masterlist, which again was not the case. but again due to tee’s following i had received multiple death threats into my asks the morning after i posted mine. as far as i was aware, the only similarities were the fact we both used gifs in our headers & the layout listing thirsts, hcs & fics (which is very common during kinktober but i admitted below i could see that similarity). unfortunately during all of this discourse was when ffflowers, my hate blog also came into the mix which then lead to tee reaching out to me in dm’s from her old blog.

the interaction between me & tee was pretty good, again she was nothing but nice to me directly despite the way she obviously spoke about me in private above. but as you can see below, tee herself told me that basically most of the similarities all made above were brushed off as basic. we spoke about the ig themes & i apologised, saying i could understand where she was coming from and that was that. i unblocked her & she unblocked me so i could reblog her post, it’s been that way since.

it is not my place to comment on other people’s experiences on this app but i would need more than 2 hands to list the amount of people that i’m sure have had similar if not worse experiences with tee. i know i have had multiple mutuals who have been bullied off of this platform & had their safe space ripped from them for little things such as: liking a character that this group selfship with, tee and her friends not liking their characterisation. they’ve even went as far as to go through other larger creators notes to check for minors so they can make excuses as to why they’re thriving.

i also know of a blog who was ‘blacklisted’ from tee & her mutuals as they self shipped with arataki itto at the time, one of tee’s friends also did, so they blacklisted this creator and had all of their mutuals block them for this which then in turn drove this creator off the app. there has been other notably bitchy things that i’ve heard but i have no receipts for therefore i don’t see any relevance in starting rumours.

i would also like to say i know plagiarism is a horrible thing, we have all been through it— myself included but it’s got to the point where being accused of copying tee has become a canon event. notably, bigger platforms have been ruined and driven off of this app for little things such as mdni dividers, similar colours schemes etc. and it’s the reason i’m also leaving.

i will say i have met some amazing people through my discourse with tee, notably people who have been in similar situations and i also apologise to any mutuals who we still have in common who are now sort of stuck inbetween. no hard feelings. although to tee: id be careful of the people you trust because it seems the loyalties they have to you are not as sincere as you may believe. you can also go to her personal & read the other things she was saying about me like how she was always so ? at how many people seemed to like me.

so that’s all i have to say, i’m sure dash will get a few responses from this but i’ll be logging out & turning off asks because honestly? couldnt care less. the only thing i’d change about my experience on this app would be i wish i’d blocked tee sooner.

i’d say have a nice day, but instead, have the day you deserve.

— emmie :)

#i apologise in advance to my mutuals & the innocents #i probably had more to say but yk i was rambling atp #anyways see u guys 🖤 love most of u !

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rxgnor0k · 2 years

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Idyllic — J.Quinn

Masterlist➢𖤓

Summary: <You accidentally say something flirty that catches you and Joseph off guard, little do you know that he’s been waiting for you to say something like that for ages>

Pairings: <Joseph Quinn x costar!fem!reader>

Warnings: <use of she/her pronouns, fluff, pining>

a/n: <NOT PROOFREAD, this was based off of a prompt i saw on pinterest lol, so creds to that>

⚠️ i will not allow anyone copy and pasting my work into any other social platform or site without consulting with me first ⚠️

꧁❦꧂

You entered the room confidently before sitting on the rich, velvet couch that stood before you. It was mere minutes before the interviewer would arrive, and being early was one of your main priorities.

Today was a bit different than the rest. Usually, you’d come to set along with Joseph, but he was no where to be seen. Yes, you called him multiple times, but he never picked up. You were afraid that he’d gone missing, or became very ill. Fortunately, his manager had called and said that he’d may run a bit late, as traffic wasn’t looking so good at this hour.

You sighed, relieved that Joseph was alright. For a while now, your feelings for Jo have increased, and made it clear to you personally that you had a crush on him. Honestly, it wasn’t a big deal, it was something you could easily contain. Though, there were times were you had to control yourself because Joseph looked too damn fine.

Being too caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t realize that Joseph had just entered the room and sat right next to you.

“Darling? You alright?” he asked, shaking your shoulder to set you back into this reality.

“What? Yea, i’m fine,” you said, shocked at his presence being so sudden. “I thought you were going to be a bit late? Your manager said you were in heavy traffic.”

“Mhm, I decided to just walk the rest of the way, so I payed the driver and strolled down the block in a fast pace,” he chortled, rubbing the back of his neck in a embarrassed manner.

“Well, I’m glad your here, Jo,” you patted the back of his shoulder, almost like a grandfather would to his children. “Jo, you look really nice today.”

Joseph smiled at the comment, as you shifted your attention in front of you. You couldn’t help but think about the jacket he was wearing. It smelt of rich leather, newly opened books, and his cologne. The amount of power his scent had on you was amazingly endearing. You could talk about it all day.

You opened your mouth to say something polite, but what came out was,

“You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss.”

The silence that overcame the room was so loud, that your heart beat was very clear to your ears.

You froze, your whole body suddenly stopped working. The amount of blood that rushed to your face was incredible. The sweat that dropped down your face profusely was quickly wiped by your now clammy hands. You breath hitched as you closed your eyes, unable to speak or make contact with anybody in the room, especially Joseph.

He sat beside you in awe, flattered with randomness of your comment. After looking at your face, he was pitiful.

“Surely she didn’t mean that,” he thought, amazed by how someone that he thought was considered superior to his league would say that. It’s almost like every night, he thinks of something like this happening. His confidence increased that any problems he could ever think of were now gone.

“Hey,” Joseph nudged your shoulder. You felt stiff as a rock, unable to move.

“Jo, I’m so sorry, my intrusive thoughts took over, and-“

“I think that you look very ravishing today as well. It’s almost like I have this urgency to kiss you this very moment,” he said. He said it so casually that it felt surreal.

“Jo, I-“ you were interrupted by the door opening, showing the interviewer for the morning. The both of you swiftly moved into an comfortable sitting position and started on with interview.

During the interview you couldn’t help, but glance up at Joseph as he quickly returned the loving gesture, leaving you a blushing mess. At one point, he slithered his hands in between yours, and caressed them. His hands were soft, yet rough, it was a comforting feeling. It certainly eased you into an relaxed state.

Though, the next day was a bit… different. You were woken up with far too many instagram dms. You were sent messages in all caps, talking about a video? You went into your search bar to go into google and looked up the video these messages were talking about. You saw multiple articles, tweets, and tik toks regarding the intimacy between you and Joseph.

“They already posted the video?!” you whispered, afraid to wake up the sleeping Joseph that slept quietly right next to you.

The next five minutes we’re spent scrolling through twitter and tik tok, talking about these moments between the two of you in the latest interview.

You set your phone down, and went back into the covers just to sneak up beside Joseph and snuggle into him. The sight before you made you feel extremely idyllic.

Let’s just say that these simple gestures had set the whole internet on fire.

꧁❦꧂

a/n: hey y'all! I rlly enjoyed writing this one!!! This one is 4 the Joseph girlies😁. Anyways, have good day (or night). Byeeeeeee

Reposts and requests are always welcomed! Make sure to go check ou my other stuff! My masterlist is linked at th top of the page! Thank you for reading my fan fic!

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clairedaring · 23 days

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Shuffle your on-repeat playlist and then list the first ten songs!*

*any playlist on any platform will do!

Thank you Kat @troubled-mind for tagging me (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ). I've been itching to share new music. 'new' being new to my playlist though, most are old releases.

1. Your Call (อยู่ที่เธอ) - TYTAN

I want you to think and reflect Who do you want more in your life? Without him, you seem to be doing fine But without me, you’ll be okay right?

as expected, i like this song so bad i even made a gifset for solely self-indulgent purposes... it's just crazy see how much TYTAN has grown since his Waterboyy days. I feel like this song was the starting point of me finding every songs i liked recently linked to MingJoe from My Stand-In.

2. ชายคนหนึ่ง (Just A Man) - Bodyslam, Clash, Potato Feat. ก้อง สหรัถ, โดม ปกรณ์ ลัม, ตู่ ภพธร

I’m just a man who wants to look after you and be concerned about you, that’s all I just want you to still have someone worrying about you, I’ve never wanted anything else You don’t have to give me anything in return I’ve never wanted anything else

I AM WEAK FOR SONGS ABOUT UNREQUITED LOVE. i first heard this song like seven years ago in Secret Seven The Series but the obsession with it has come back in full force since i recently watched a lakorn starring the original artist of the song (Peter Corp) and there's this scene where he plays this song on the guitar to the female lead... oh i was a goner. (original by Peter Corp)

3. วัดปะหล่ะ? (TEST ME) - 4EVE

Open your heart to know each other a little bit, yeah (like this) Then you will see someone that your heart is searching for

this is a popular song that came out a few years ago but i recently fell in love with it when i heard it used in the trailer for a thai film 'My Boo' starring Bow Maylada, Gee Sutthirak and Thanaerng.

4. อยู่กับฉันฝันถึงใคร (Who are you missing?) - Nine Kornchid

When you are with me, who are you dreaming of? When we're close together, who are you missing? Just a faint shadow. There is no way to own your heart. Why do you still keep me around? Whose substitute do you consider me as? Can you just answer me clearly? The reflection in your eyes, am I the person whom you are looking for.

as expected of a person who's deeply in her MSI era, of course the OST is on repeat. the lyrics though like I AM CHEWING GLASSES.

5. บินเข้ากองไฟ (Flying Into the Flame) - Big Ass

Oh, heart, remember their face They're the same person who once hurt you Enough already, don’t let them hurt you anymore Enough is enough, my heart, why love them? The more you love, the stupider you get, the more torturing it is, you never remember (enough, heart) We’ve been more than sad enough already, why love them? Nothing can be as evil as a heart hurting itself The more it loves, the more it’s hurt (remember that)

this song i actually first heard from Kidnap! pilot trailer but i never looked up the lyrics until recently and god it is so MingJoe coded. this song is a nice monologue talking to the heart and asking why it keeps falling in love, even though it knows it’s only going to get burned. like the inability to get someone out of your heart and still loving someone even though they've hurt you so bad before ಥ_ಥ

6. เพียงพอ (Just Enough) - Potato

If I had you, I would never need to reach for anything else It wouldn’t stir up troubles, anxieties just stopped, and I’m more confident than before Since I had you, I know my needs have ended No need to aspire for anything more, just this is enough Every day, to just have you, regardless of anything, I’d be satisfied

watching The Believers on Netflix really sent me down a spiral of listening to Potato (a Thai rock band). I love this song so much because it's a refreshing addition to Potato's usual collection of 'unrequite love, breakup' songs.

7. Kẽo Cà Kẽo Kẹt (The Creeking) - Hoàng Thùy Linh

I inflect every syllable so that my name goes down with history No matter how much vilification and mockery I have to endure, I’ll stand up against them again I inflect every syllable so that my name goes down with history No matter how much agony they pour on me, I’ll survive, no matter how many times they do that From dire ramified a sprig of nectarine Verdant foliage shrouded the entrance Amidst solitude, I squawked shrilly

i've been on a spiral of listening to old music i love so i'm sharing this mini commentary i made on this song a while back.

so 'the creeking' is based on tấm cám aka the vietnamese ver of cinderella. specifically, the part after vietnamese cinderella (tấm) was murdered by her stepmother & sister, she reincarnated into a bird, but then got killed AGAIN and she reincarnated into a weaving loom (insane, you just gotta read it, after she became a weaving loom, she got BURNED and she reincarnated into a freaking tree). but the simple gist is, when tấm reincarnated into a loom, the loom kept making noises to threaten her step sister as if to remind her step sister of the evil deed she did to tấm. the creeking may at first glance be a simple retell of this part of the story in tấm cám but it also parallels directly with hoàng thùy linh's life story. from the mire (the excessive hate train from her "scandal" when she was a minor and victim of revenge pornography), both hoàng thùy linh and tấm rose up to put their name down in history. ending the song with the statement that they'll survive no matter how many times evil forces (the press/media) try to bring tấm/htl down. the creeking is just such an empowering and feminist anthem like i cannot stress enough. hoàng thùy linh is currently going through her 2nd hate train rn and i honestly wish her the best bc i fully believe she'll make it through this cycle of vilification again.

i truly love this song because even though hoang thuy linh is more popular for her tiktok hit see tinh (sped up) aka ting ting tang tang, her first full album Hoàng is literally a masterpiece full of songs based on Viet culture/folklores. THE viet pop album of the decade for me tbh.

8. I LOVE U - MANBO ft. NAMVEE

viet hiphop hasn't been on my rotation for a few months but i always trust manbo to deliver a good rap on a pop rock beat.

youtube

9. Building Outside The Building - TNT

while TNT is known for their youthful, hopeful, lovely music, it's these hard hitting songs that makes TNT music so attractive to me. cpop having better hard hitting songs than kpop these days is killing me. wishing i could steal all the cpop demos and send them to my fave kpop bgs.

youtube

10. Ponytail (KR version) - VANNER

my list of music recommendations can never be complete without a glitter gel pen song. THIS GLITTER GEL PEN BSIDE. petition to ask kpop boygroups to opt their glitter gel pen songs to be their title tracks more often.

no pressure tagging @weizhiyuan @poonmitpakdee @uppoompat @sherrymagic @supanuts

#you've got tagged #really in my thai rock era again #but old thai rock #dramatic ass lyrics about loving someone you shouldn't love #YES #GIVE IT TO ME

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smilingformoney · 2 years

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MAJOR trigger warnings below for rape/sexual abuse.

My response to @idioticconsultingdetective’s post.

When I was 15, I was raped. It has, naturally, left me with a lot of trauma. I still get intrusive memories sometimes, when my brain pushes traumatic moments to the forefront of my thoughts for no apparent reason.

It doesn’t happen much. Once or twice a year maybe. And yes, it has been happening today.

Every victim of trauma has their own coping mechanism. Earlier this year I found a fic on ao3 that I found actually helped. It was gross, disgusting (NOT romanticising anything as @potionsev has suggested) and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Somehow - I’m sure a psychologist could tell me why - it helped me to compartmentalise my intrusive memories. I’m now more able to make myself believe the memories are just scenes from a story. Now, on the odd occasion it happens, I can go to that fic and convince myself I’m just reading a story.

I have never actively promoted that fic to anyone. The only reason it was discovered, someone looked at my ao3 bookmarks and found it. I should have made it a private bookmark, but to be quite honest I didn’t even consider something like this would happen.

When Twitter user ols7en asked me why, what was I to say? Was I to tell a 15 year old stranger, in 140 characters or less, that I was raped and the fic helped me process my trauma? Perhaps I should have not responded at all. I made a mistake in trying to brush it off as if it was nothing. I hoped they would move on, but perhaps I put too much stock in my irrelevance.

But at the end of the day, none of what I just said should matter. It shouldn’t matter why I read something. Policing what people read in fiction is policing thoughts, and as we hopefully all know, that’s a very, very slippery slope.

I don’t owe anyone this explanation. I’m giving it anyway because I know communicating my feelings helps me calm down from the near on 12-hour anxiety attack I’ve been having today.

Now, why did I delete my twitter account? Well, I’ve been close to it for a while now and this triggered my final decision. I’ve tried hard, for months, to fit in with the twitter fandom. It’s never worked. I’m not sure why - is it the generational gap? Is it the character limit restricting nuance? I’m not really sure. I’m the same person here and there, and here I seem to be vaguely popular. So there’s got to be something different between the two platforms restricting me from bridging the gap.

Pandora pointed out two things.

1. Sexualising Snape and Alan Rickman. We all do it here (mostly). Not so much on twitter - why? Again, who knows. Maybe in hindsight I should have restricted minors from following me.

2. ‘Attacking’ other users for developing minor characters. Not at all what happened, again perhaps this is due to the character limit restricting nuance. I tweeted in response to someone else that I found it confusing to log on and see people talking about characters I’ve never heard of. It certainly wasn’t an attack. Some people took issue with my describing them as ‘original’ - as if this is something I, with my 200k-word OC fanfic, would ever use in a derogatory sense.

What has really saddened me is the way Pandora has made this a personal goal to… whatever her goal is here. It’s sad because I liked her. I thought we were getting on. Then to be told I was never liked - that hurt. Why follow someone and interact positively while harbouring resentment? Why not simply not follow, not interact? I feel silly being personally hurt by a stranger on the internet, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.

Finally, to end on a positive note, I want to say a great big THANK YOU to everyone who has been kind to me today. I have told my side of the story to friends and they’ve comforted me, but more than that, people I don’t interact with have come to my defence. People who don’t follow me, who don’t know me or my side of the story. They’ve seen Pandora’s post and defended me. That, to me, is the true nature of the Snape fandom. 💚🐍

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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 1 year

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I really need to share this with someone and I’m not sure where/who to go to. I am afraid I’ll lose interest in Ewan like I did with Joseph Quinn. I was so excited for him, I thought he did an amazing job, and then the rumors and the digging in his personal life, following him on the streets, doxxing his family members started and now I just feel absolutely nothing for him. I know he’s going to be in the new Quiet Place movie, but I’m going to watch it more because I’m a fan of the movies and less because of him. I am afraid it’s starting to happen with Ewan to me as well. There is so little content about him and his works, but whenever new things are coming out it’s people saying he’s ugly, does not deserve his role as Aemond, apparently as I’ve just read in your asks people are doxxing workers of the talent agency? I’m guessing it’s the woman who was on the red carpet with him we thought was his sister? It’s just so offputting, it makes me want to distance myself from every platform ever. I already don’t have social media as is, except my Tumblr I’ve had for 14 years, I’ve deleted myself off everywhere else because people are so vile and I have to use for this energy, but the one sanctuary I’ve been able to come to has become so poisoned… I remember the Ewan tag on the day the first episode he was in came out. There was nothing. And now it’s filled with shit. I hate it here and above all I hate it that people are making me lose interest in entertainers whose work I otherwise adore. I’m sorry for the rant, feel free to ignore, I just needed to let it out.

That really sucks, I’m sorry to hear that. I was never a part of the Joseph Quinn hype, so seeing people go absolutely rabid and refuse to have boundaries over Ewan is a brand new and terrifying experience for me.

Thankfully, the bulk of shitty behaviour seems to be confined to other platforms (like you, I don’t do social media, so Tumblr is very much a comfy bubble for me)

I agree that the Ewan tag is a trash fire now though. I’d recommend staying out of it where possible and just following a few solid accounts that are posting genuine content - it’ll save you a huge, huge headache.

The woman being doxxed works as an assistant at Independent Talent and was the person who attended the premiere. She’s not dating Ewan. I am honestly disgusted that people are targeting her. She must feel terrified. Not to mention the awful rumours that people are starting could lose her her job if taken seriously. People need to get a grip!

My only advice to you would be to not let other people’s behaviour influence your enjoyment of something, you’ll drive yourself mad otherwise. And if you do lose interest, it’s no big deal. He’s just a person at the end of the day, your life is no better or worse for appreciating or not appreciating him, and interests fading is a very natural part of life. Keep your chin up and don’t let the arseholes grind you down!

#asked and answered

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dearweirdme · 10 days

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Watching jikookers on twt is kinda entertaining (although I feel a bit embarrassed for them) - some are totally losing their shit & blindly hitting out, but most are trying hard to pretend the whole Daeun thing isn’t happening, meanwhile, it their gc’s…….. 😳

I don’t actually think it’s a particularly nice thing to do, & I certainly couldn’t be bothered doing it myself (& I couldn’t even pretend to think jjk is real), but there are kths & tkkers that lurk in jikook gc’s & post ss in their real gc’s - the panic there is real, but the general feeling is to not show it.

It’s pretty clear that there’s substance to what Daeun posted - although why she’s doing it is a mystery at this point

I get that jikookers are mad & I even understand that this is horrible for them - but dragging Tae - who is literally in MS & has nothing to do with anything, is infuriating - if their ship is so so real, what Tae is or is not doing has absolutely no impact on it & never has.

jikookers need to ask themselves why they’re so scared of him - they show their insecurity & fear every time they attack Tae or try to use T*ennie as some sort of’proof’ - even IF Tae was straight, it doesn’t automatically make Jm gay - apparently that’s a concept jikookers have a lot of trouble with 🙄

I have to admit- her mic drop video had me rolling 😂😂

Hi anon!

Omg it’s like watching ants crawl around in boiling water. It’s either them ignoring it, them pointing at Taennie (like, that does not help your case at all), or them lashing out at Daeun. All the debunks they make actually don’t matter because the one thing that continues till stand is that she very visibly and undeniably linked herself to Jm. She even posted his name for crying out loud, like.. that is a pretty big deal I’d say.

I think what you described about them in their GC’s happened with Taennies as well. After Paris there was little to go on and they started talking about a breakup amongst themselves. I think for many bigger accounts it’s probably actually scary to admit publicly that they might’ve been wrong. They would get a lot of hate from their own followers and probably lose followers over it as well. Some people have built up quite the platform by being a ship account, many probably like the place they have in fandom.. and admitting that you might be wrong about what you’ve been passionately been blogging or posting about for years would probably be risking the future of that person’s account. So it’s not only the loss of a ship or admitting that you’re wrong, but also potentially losing your place in fandom.

Blamiing Tae is insane. I don’t even know what weird bending of reality you have to do to connect him to any of this. This is a Jm thing. It doesn’t even concern Jk aside from the Jkk of it all.

#fandom shenanigans #members

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nhlovesadri3 · 8 months

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The full interview below, and the picture from the article:

After five long years without angels, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is back, and it’s not the winged thongfest of its early-aughts peak. The Victoria’s Secret World Tourpremieres on Prime Video today following a month of curated international events featuring legacy supermodels and their Gen-Z counterparts. Before the premiere, record-holding angel Adriana Lima joined 22-year-old rising star Amelia Gray, who grew up admiring Lima on television, to discuss walking with wings, channeling the sirens of Old Hollywood, and the brand’s heavenly reinvention.

———

ADRIANA LIMA: It’s very nice to meet you, Amelia. I’ve been following your Instagram for some time.

AMELIA GRAY: I know. We’ve met a couple times backstage, but we haven’t actually had a moment, so this means so much to me.

LIMA: I’m a big fan of your mom too. I think she’s amazing. Please tell her hi from me.

GRAY: She’s gonna die. She’s obsessed with you too. It’s interesting that they’re having us do this together because you’re my first memory of Victoria’s Secret. My mom was always like, “Pick someone that inspires you,” and I was always like, “Adriana.” You’re just her.

LIMA: It’s really exciting to talk to you too. How did you feel about being part of Victoria’s Secret? Were you nervous?

GRAY: I never really thought that I would be part of Victoria’s Secret. So when I got the call, I genuinely dropped to the floor and was like, “Wait, what? Are you sure you’re calling the right girl?” It was crazy for my inner child that used to sit on the couch and watch the shows at a young age. And it was one of my favorite sets that I’ve been on so far. It was so empowering. I’d never really done anything sexy and in lingerie.

LIMA: I mean, every post on your Instagram is sexy. [Laughs] I felt the same when they called me for the first time. The first time that I worked with them was in 1998 for the catalog. You know, back in the days, we used to have a catalog. [Laughs] And the first fashion show was in 1999. I never thought that I was gonna be part of that either. And after so many years, when I thought it was over, I received a call again and I couldn’t believe it. It was really exciting for me.

GRAY: When I think of Victoria’s Secret the first person I think of is you, and then I think of Candace [Swanepoel]. How is it being part of Victoria’s Secret for all these years?

LIMA: I’ve been with Victoria’s Secret for over 20 years, and I’ve watched the brand evolve. I started working with them before social media. I saw the fashion show go from being just a regular runway with no entertainment at all, just models and campaigns shot with film cameras, to going digital and having musicians or athletes on the stage.

GRAY: That’s insane.

LIMA: It’s exciting because it’s always different. This year we’re showcasing cultures and offering a platform to upcoming musicians and fashion designers from all over the world. I was representing the fashion designer Melissa Valdés Duque from Bogota.

GRAY: I was in Japan. It was incredible. It’s so important to allow designers from all over the world to create their own idea of what it means to be a woman, or to be sexy, or to be empowered. At the end of the day, there’s not just one definition of that. We interpret it so differently.

LIMA: Can you describe your look?

GRAY: It was this deconstructed black dress. It was so perfect for me, I literally died when I saw it. It’s all these bras and underwear that the designer took and turned into a dress. But the thing that was most interesting is that she took a 3D print of her body—literally molded her whole body—and turned it into dresses that half of the girls were wearing in my group.

LIMA: Very artistic.

GRAY: What was yours?

LIMA: It was very modern, yet traditional. It was a crochet dress made out of beads. I’d never seen something like that. It was a golden color, but the way she designed it, it almost looks like liquid. Golden liquid crochet. It’s truly incredible, and she’s so young.

GRAY: I feel like they’re all so young.

LIMA: She’s 23 years old with the mind and creativity of a genius. She started doing crochet when she was seven. It’s exciting to see so many talented people in this forum.

GRAY: I know, I’m really, really, excited for everyone to see it. I’m curious on how everyone’s gonna perceive it. Nobody really knows what’s coming, you know?

LIMA: Yeah, it’s gonna be a hit. My children are so excited to watch. My youngest, Cyan, it’s his birthday tomorrow. He’s gonna be one.

GRAY: Happy birthday, Cyan. I remember the last time I saw you, you were pregnant at the Alexander Wang show. It was so major. But wait, I do have to ask you a question about the wings, because we all got to wear them for the main shoot. Oh my god, those wings are so heavy.

LIMA: Which one did you choose?

GRAY: I chose the smallest ones. I don’t even remember which ones because I was really present on set. But when I put them on, I was like, “This is insane.” Mind you, there were some that were 10 times bigger. So how did you walk down the runway for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show with those wings?

LIMA: Personally, it does not matter if I’m wearing wings or not, I’m always nervous. I get so freaking nervous until I walk out in the show. But there were a few times that I almost got kicked off the runway because they’re so wide open and I barely had space to walk.

GRAY: And there are so many people watching.

LIMA: It’s nerve-wracking, but I love that sensation. I like the adrenaline.

GRAY: Me too.

LIMA: I think the biggest wings I had were maybe six feet tall. And it wasn’t that heavy, but because it’s so spread out, you kind of lose your balance a little bit and it’s hard to walk.

GRAY: Oh my god. And you’re walking on the runway with such strength and you’re being so sexy and calm.

LIMA: I was nervous, but luckily nothing happened.

GRAY: I really respect you for walking in those wings all those years and never having a moment.

LIMA: It has happened, but it wasn’t aired. Nobody saw, but there were a few things that happened backstage.

GRAY: Nobody needs to know about those things. Also, I don’t know if you remember, but before I was a model, and was very much your biggest fan—I’m still your biggest fan—but when I was like 12, you wished me a happy birthday. That was the nicest thing ever. Your birthday’s the day before mine, so we’re both Geminis.

LIMA: You’re a Gemini! I love it. I’ve been following your mom for some time and I love her energy, and I sense the same vibe with you. But let’s talk about music. What do you listen to to get pumped up for the show? I’m so out of the loop. When we were on the shoot, they asked me to choose a song, but all I listen to is baby music.

GRAY: [Laughs] What is baby music? But music for me actually makes it easier to portray my character. Music on set is very important for me. So for this particular shoot, like I said before, I’m not that sexual of a person in real life. On my Instagram I am, but that’s the character I play. So when I was doing Victoria’s Secret and they asked me what to play, immediately I was like, “’Sex with Me’ by Rihanna.” Without that song, I wouldn’t have been able to do it as well as I hope I did. But before the runway, when I’m really nervous, I listen to Azealia Banks. I only listen to one song, it’s called “212.” It’s kind of a lot on the ears, but if you put your AirPods in and just tune out and listen, it’s like you’re now the baddest. Rap also brings me to that space.

LIMA: Is that like hardcore rap? I like that.

GRAY: Whatever can take me out of being me as a person. I’m more of a Sade type vibe. I’m really chill. I like jazz, I like Kenny G.

LIMA: Oh, Kenny!

GRAY: Is music important to you like that too, or can you just turn on the character?

LIMA: Music is a big part of my life and it’s a big part of finding inspiration. I used to do playlists. Like, for a workout, for the Victoria Secret commercials that I would shoot, for shows. And it was a combination of music and movies. I would watch old-school Hollywood.

GRAY: I’m doing that right now.

LIMA: One of the greatest classic movies to me is La Dolce Vita.

GRAY: I need to watch it again.

LIMA: And all the Marilyn Monroe movies. I’m obsessed with Sophia Loren, too. There are many movies that I try to capture. I watch how they move and I get certain things from each character.

GRAY: I love that. I’m finally getting into movies in my twenties.

LIMA: You know what I miss? Back in the days when VH1 and MTV played real music videos. There are a lot of music videos that were super inspiring for fashion.

GRAY: Usually I study the old ’90s fashion shows for every brand that I work for. I’ve seen this one Versace show a billion times. But I’ve been needing an extra push of inspiration, so I think I’m gonna do the music video and movie thing.

LIMA: Usually I go eighties. I love the ’80s. I’m obsessed with Billy Idol. There’s a lot of inspiration there for me.

GRAY: I better do my research.

LIMA: I will send more to your Instagram for you to check out.

GRAY: Please do.

LIMA: Where are you now?

GRAY: I’m in L.A. at my gym right now. I just did Pilates.

LIMA: Tell me where you go for Pilates. I moved to L.A. I used to live in Miami.

GRAY: Amazing. And you’re Brazilian, right? My boyfriend’s Brazilian and I’m pretty sure he is going to be my husband one day and I need to learn how to make all the food and speak Portuguese, quickly.

LIMA: Oh my god. Have you been to Brazil yet?

GRAY: No. We were supposed to go. I need to go. He’s from both Rio and São Paulo.

LIMA: You’d love Rio. São Paulo has a kind of New York vibe.

GRAY: We need to hang out, please.

LIMA: You’re going to be in New York?

GRAY: Yes.

LIMA: I’m looking forward to seeing you.

#Adriana Lima #link #interview #vsfs 2023 #vs #tour #goddess #angel #gorgeous #2023

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secretgamergirl · 1 year

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Random stuff I need to vent about while I’m still alive.

So I sincerely don’t think I’m going to manage to stay alive much longer, and I keep going back and forth on whether that’s something I should mention publicly, or just keep quiet and not bring the room down. Today I’m kinda feeling like I should say some things.

So first because I know people will be all curious if I don’t say why I think this is the end, a lot of things are just kinda converging and odds are one of them is going to do it.

- I really was just barely getting by on Patreon donations. Since getting kicked off Twitter those have been steadily drying up, and I don’t really have a plan to get new people donating at a rate that’ll outpace that, so basically I’m just at a point where I have to go around begging and hoping for some increasingly miraculous act of generosity from someone that lets me keep the lights on for one more month. That’s not sustainable, and when I can’t cover things, that’ll be it for me.

- I recently got a couple new diagnoses of really serious medical things. They’re both incurable, they both could kill me. I’m doing my best with treatments, but that mostly means I’m taking like 10 different medications, they have serious side effects, I’m basically asleep all the time now, and something could just take a turn whenever.

- I’m still a big ol’ nazi target and get regular violent threats. Who knows what’s going to happen there? Plus odds seem pretty good Biden’s going to just get the one term here and the entire Republican party seems to be running on a trans genocide platform. That’s not going to help things.

So right now I’m kinda just taking things a day at a time. Doing my best every day to just be really randomly nice to the handful of people who still talk to me, and trying to focus on how I’m like a good decade or so past the average life expectancy for trans people as is. But, you know, we all have bad days, and sometimes it’s hard not to dwell on like, the various people in your life who just randomly stuck knives in your back and how things would be different if that didn’t happen.

The one that’s really eating at me tonight is this one person I knew a few years ago and really thought was a friend who just threw me under the bus in such a shockingly savage way. I don’t even fully recall the context for this. Either it was when some totally random stranger I’d never even heard of decided out of the blue that I was her nemesis and started this giant smear campaign against me, or it was when a really close friend was going through a bad breakup and her ex was just going out of her way to spread every possible horrific rumor about her under the sun, and I was standing up for her. Might have even been both at once, these sorts of hate campaigns do tend to converge.

So anyway, that sort of thing was going on, and this person I considered a friend at the time decided of her own accord to publicly stand up for me, write a quick little thing about how I legitimately bore no animosity to whoever and just kinda putter around trying to do nice things for people. And then I don’t think even a full day later, she pulled that statement down, and replaced it with this huge thing about me basically being the devil and how I “took advantage of her autism to confuse her” which... wow that’s a hell of a thing to say about someone. Like, first of all, I’m not convinced that’s even a thing. I know quite a lot of people on the spectrum, and I’ve been told there’s a good chance I’m on it myself, and like... increased susceptibility to evil viziers or whatever isn’t something I’ve ever heard associated with it. Plus you know, like, this whole initial defense was something this person decided to do on her own just based on her observations of how witch hunts against random trans people were happening, as happens all too often.

And this happened again a few years later too. Another friend was dealing with some real horrific stuff, on the order of nazis threatening their spouse’s employer to get said spouse fired and showing up at their parents’ house with violent intent, and they gave me the details and asked me to write up a quick explanation while they kinda went off the grid for a few days for safety. So, I did that, people started passing that around, including the bus tosser here... and then a few days later my usual dangerous stalkers saw people were sharing somethng I wrote and started in on some weird line of attack where I was making this entire story about someone else fleeing their home due to a coordinated nazi attack which uh... was actually getting independent news coverage at this point as they were back on the internet and giving interviews, as a secret means of attacking... someone?

So of course once again, the bus-tosser about whom I’m rambling with this story retracted her endorsement of uh... my relaying things for a friend that were all being independently confirmed by reporters, and once again condemning me as a vile trickster who mislead her. Which is extra impressive because like, we hadn’t talked in years here.

So of course I can make an educated guess at what was really up with these incidents. The sort of weird stalkers who try to get trans people killed really go all in on cutting off any support, so presumably one or more of them approached this bus-tosser and made some pretty serious threats that she would be next if she didn’t walk things back, and being in a particularly vulnerable position, she decided to throw me under the bus to save her own skin... multiple times. And honestly I’m not even upset with her for that. I know her life’s a really precarious tightrope walk (and if it was unclear this is decidedly not a situation where I want anyone trying to guess who this was).

Really I’m just stuck on how she could have just never said anything to begin with. If you know you can’t deal with the heat of having someone’s stalkers start to come after you because you’re interrupting their attack on their primary target, you can just look the other way. I’m a big girl, and I can generally take care of myself pretty well with these situations. Hell I’m the sort who ends up in these situations because I absolutely will stick my neck out like this for other people when I know they’re the victim of some messed up bigoted hate campaign. So pretending not to know me, or to know what’s going on is absolutely a move she could have made. Nobody would go threatening her. I’d just be dealing with ridiculous slander that holds no water from random anonymous hatemongers. But... no, she had to go and involve herself, get scared, and throw serious fuel on the fire in order to back up. And you know put me through the trauma of watching someone I thought was a friend publicly tell some particularly messed up lies about me.

But yeah. I have a lot of stories like that one about various people I’ve known over the years. It’s hard not to think about them when staring death in the face. Just kinda feels like I’m the sacrificial victim everyone’s redirected their personal demons to attack to minimize how many people are getting gang-stalked and threatened or something. And I don’t even mind filling that role for people just... let me pull that aggro by choice by coming to your defense? Don’t throw me under the bus? I don’t feel like that’s a super unreasonable request.

#trauma #gang stalking #morbid

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rosielindy · 9 months

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Five years ago, our neighbor sold his very nicely maintained home on the whim of his second wife. Sold it fast, below its value. Every time I post anything on another social media platform that shall remain nameless, the wife asks about “her” house. They knowingly sold it to someone who they knew was a bit odd, whatever that means.

The yard is a big mess, but having some weeds myself, I don’t judge. I’d rather be surrounded by neighbors like this rather than those who maintain a poison perfect lawn at the cost of our environment and precious water resources.

Today I had enough, after she said some pretty ugly things about the person on my otherwise whimsical post. I typically never address her questions and I’m getting pretty tired of them after five years. Did I miss something? Do they still own the house? They don’t live too far away, so she can come and look for herself!

That said, my only response to her was…

🙈🙉🙊

It’s anybody’s guess if she will understand the message.

#be kind #kindness #drop judgment #be kind always #no matter #people in glass houses hold the stones #let it go #why do you care #sweep your own front porch #see no evil #speak no evil #hear no evil #monkeys

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with-love-from-love · 1 year

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beginning

So where do we begin, the first thing that comes to mind is my desire, desire to dream, to think, to be alive. The internet makes me feel like a corpse, like I am just a reflection of a reflection, it sucks away my creativity at alarming speed. I never want my criticism of something to end at “thing bad,” but at the end of the day, instagram, is very bad. It used to be this platform that really excited me, when I first started tattooing and sharing my art it seemed wonderful, I was able to open up my world and create relationships with kind and interesting people. I still have connections with many lovely people, but unfortunately, I have almost the same amount, if not more, connections with people who I despise. I first started tattooing at a very strange time in my life, and I was taught by two people who now no longer speak to me because of decisions they made that pushed me very far away, and then transition. I was a about a year into tatting when I started my transition, and the fact that I was so visible online was absolutely a detriment to my mental health. I appreciate every bit of love that I received, and I appreciate the wonderful people who really supported me, but the amount of transphobia, transmisogyny, and general anger at my existence that I still experience to this day is far too much for my little heart to bear.

So instagram is going to be left in the past, it’s a part of my life that I hope to leave behind very soon, I want to disconnect, I want to decomodify, I want to decolonize, I want to rip out every wire that the fascists try to plug into my brain. I want to return to the woods, to dance and sing, to drink wine with my sisters under the moonlight. I titled this letter “beginning,” because I want to tell the beginning of a story. A story about what? I suppose I know just as well as you. A story about art, about love, about new friendships, about fixing my broken mirror. I’d like to share a poem that I wrote sitting on my friends couch, I was listening and watching as she and her girlfriend moved about a cluttered room, shooting ideas back and forth about change, and kindness, and how to best make use of a space for creation. It made me think about my dreams, about the ideas that filled my mind while I was floating in the womb.

Limitless, endless, vast

And terrifying

And wonderful

Dreamcatching, dreaming of

A forgotten place

Maybe it’s when you were small

Maybe before that

Maybe when the earth was new

Fertile

Fleshy

Sticky and sweaty

Maybe it’s back when the bugs were big enough

To pose a threat

When the ocean was shallow

And warm

When it was filled with cephalopods

Empty giant twisted shells

On shores of my memory

Those dreams once more

Filling my little mind

Who knows

On what shore

I will wash up, and awaken

The past year has been intense to say the least, transitioning, moving back home, making art that I’ve felt pressured to sell, trying to give love to the fullest extent of myself. At times I feel extremely overwhelmed by every tiny little branching path that my life takes, but then I really think, I think about how many lives I’ve affected, how many lives I will continue to affect, and I feel so lucky. A part of me had given up on finding love in another person, and yet I have. Another part of me had given up on thinking I would ever have friends that really care about me, and life continues to prove me wrong. I always thought it was completely impossible for me to look in the mirror, and not only see myself, but think of myself as beautiful, and each day I am more beautiful than the day before. I need to listen to my own advice, when I first started my transition, I told myself to stop searching for answers, instead to fill myself with questions, and I think I almost forgot.

How can my art be more beautiful? How can it be more truthful? How can I love deeper? How can I kiss better? How can I fill my life with more joy? How can I come to understand pain? How can I treat myself with more kindness, more understanding, and be less cynical? Who knows if I will ever find the true answers to these questions, but if I’ve learned anything, it’s that searching for a “true” answer to any of these questions is an exercise in disappointment. Instead I will embrace the strange, the absurdity of life. I will open my heart to the stories of the people I love, and I will pray to goddess, that those with hatred are healed of their terrible festering wounds.

So you’ve gotten this far into my brain, I’ll say something more cohesive. I want to write this newsletter monthly, I want to make a website where I can share my tattoos, my photography, my poetry, my hopes and dreams for the future. I want open up a tattoo shop, a place where trans girls can feel comfortable, a place far away from the commercialization of this ancient sacred art. I want to write a novel, something about a doll, about her perspective pre and post transition, I want to make a comic, about a doll in a fantasy world, fighting demons and falling in sapphic love. I don’t want to put any limitations on myself, on my heart, on what I put into the world, I spent far too long pushing everything down, pushing myself down. My friend had this wonderful idea for a project that we’re now in the beginning stages of creating together, a magazine highlighting the art of transsexual women. It will start small, but it’s something that we can build together, as sisters, as a community. We all live complex, difficult, earth shattering lives, some of us far more difficult than others. The most vulnerable of us sometimes never get a chance at happiness, so I will never stop. I will never stop creating, and dreaming. I will love harder each day, I will tell the people I love, that I love them. I’ll do this forever, until I am only a memory. I often think back to an interaction I had many years ago. I was on a bus home from a semester at college, and I was sitting alone near the back. This trans girl came and sat next to me and saw me working on music. We shared music back and forth, and we talked about how much we loved to create weird textured electronic sounds. I don’t remember her name, all I remember is how kind she was, how honest and friendly, how she treated me like a person with depth and complexity. I have to wonder if she could see in me, what I was unable to see in myself. I hope she’s doing ok, I wonder if I will ever see her again.

I have to end this at some point, so why not with another poem. This one I wrote while I was jotting down ideas for the magazine, I hope it leaves you with more questions, I hope that you look out into the world, and find that sense of wonder, that desire to be joyful, that desire to be alive.

The reflections of imagined space

The more rules you put in front of yourself

The more you will see them broken as you live

Something you once thought unthinkable

Suddenly material

In your soft hands lovely lovely

With love from love

Sasha Love

Please donate to FOR THE GWORLS, a collective providing mutual aid and support to black trans people. https://www.forthegworls.party/home <3

Also please go subscribe to my best friend’s newsletter. She is an amazing tattoo artist, painter, and writer, as well as a mother to two wonderful cats :) https://tinyletter.com/angelauratat222

Some books you should read:

The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison

Conflict is not Abuse - Sarah Schulman

Ain’t I a Woman - Bell Hooks

Nevada - Imogen Binne

The Unreal and the Real - Ursula K. Le Guin

The Flowers of Evil - Baudelaire

The Artist's Way - Julia Cameron

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mj-is-writing · 2 years

Note

happy blorbo blursday! I'd love to hear some rambles about some of your disabled characters, whoever's on your mind! as a disabled writer it always makes me so happy to see disability rep :D

Let’s GO I love talking about them! Also it’s disability pride month and talking about rep is important, so this was a great ask ❤️

So, creating the character of Trevor is very different from what I normally do. Basically, I realized that I’d never written about a wheelchair user, ever, and said “oh fuck, well that has gotta change” and committed to giving the next OC I ever worked on a wheelchair. It was a few weeks after that that a friend of mine and I started working on a story concept together, and between the two of us, I was given basically free reign over characters and concept art. So I immediately did several drawings of Trevor in his chair, did some research on reasons a person may need mobility aids, and went to my friend the next day and said “here he is.” That’s the story. That’s where he came from. And since then, he’s become one of my favorites to think about. He’s so much fun and adds a lot to the comedic tone of the story by being a very upbeat and relaxed guy in complete contrast to his nervous and frantic best friend (essentially it’s one guy who is stuck in a cosmic horror story but all of his friends think it’s a chill slice of life). He does have platform crutches, but he doesn’t use them much. He has a pet cat.

A lot of my characters are ND, like. A lot. I don’t even know where to begin listing them all. I am very emotionally attached to every OC I’ve ever had, but I will pick Joshua to talk about a bit here. He has ADHD, he exclusively wears rainbow socks, and he works in a chill little magic bookstore. He’s struggling but he is so loved by his family, his boss, his friends, and he does alright. He has magic abilities that are very unique from the other characters.

I’m still working on worldbuilding for this story, so none of the characters have names yet, but I have one WIP where a good chunk of the main cast is disabled. The protagonist is a double amputee, and one of her friends designed customs prosthetics for her. One of her friends is Hard of Hearing. Another (the protag’s platonic soulmate) is, now that I think about it, probably ADHD? I didn’t have that in mind when coming up with the character, but it would be a valid interpretation of him. He also has this… supernatural thing going on that could be compared to chronic pain and fatigue; I normally dislike the chronic illness rep only being a “curse” or a spell or something, and don’t usually write that kind of thing, but I think it works here partially because this world doesn’t shy away from accommodations and disability already, and we see evidence of that in the main cast. Were he the only one in an otherwise abled group, I probably wouldn’t write this the same. That would feel like a trope to me. (That’s not to say that magic can’t be used as a good metaphor, I’m a huge fan of how The Owl House handles Eda’s curse, I just don’t trust myself not to handle it badly.)

I mentioned for another Blorbo Blursday an unnamed character who I think I referred to as Francis for that post? He belongs here as well, being non-speaking autistic. Just thinking about the magical AAC devices that he has access to make me happy. I’m not the kind of person who wants to write a ton about hardships and struggles; disability is hard, it’s disabling (duh), but that doesn’t mean that all disabled people are living in straight up misery 24/7, and I want to include representation of people who do get the accommodations they need, who are loved and supported, who get to be heroes in both big and small ways. Francis struggles a lot. He has a lot of support needs. But he also has joy. I want the reader to always remember that he has joy.

I don’t always do the best job when it comes to representing groups I’m not a part of. I know this, because it will always be true that im not perfect. But im trying really hard, and I really care about these characters. And I hope that someday, other people will care about them too. ❤️

#happy disability pride month #writeblr #blorbo blursday #writeblr ask game #writing ask game #mj_writes

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pomgore · 1 year

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15 questions 15 mutuals lazy edition

thank you for the tags @lordoftherazzles and @tetchy-frog i’ll just do one post because yeah

1: are you named after anyone?

norp! my parents were sort of struggling to come up with a name for me, but in the search they found my name and it clicked

2: when was the last time you cried?

couple weeks ago now, for cathartic purposes

3: do you have kids?

nope, and i should hope not at my age, but maybe in the future i will - i’ve been coming around to the idea of a mini-me for the past few months, i think if i had a kid they’d be pretty cool

4: do you use sarcasm a lot?

absolutely not, autism and sarcasm a happy pom do not make - whenever i do attempt sarcasm it comes off way too real anyway. i would say that i can exaggerate and be facetious when comedy permits, though

5: what’s the first thing you notice about people?

their personality, i think - whether or not i like the way they speak and think dictates whether or not i want to continue talking to that person

6: what’s your eye color?

hazel hazel hazel

7: scary movies or happy endings?

boooooth both both both, im such a horror buff but i cannot stand it if a movie or a story has a bittersweet ending, everyone must live happily ever after forever and ever

8: any special talents?

growing extra teeth

9: where were you born?

the aloha state, big island born-n-raised

10: what are your hobbies?

drawing, writing, absorbing media, and talking to whoever will listen about my favorite tolkien tales

11: any pets?

two chihuahuas, dash and mikey. they do not make me chihaha they are rancid and naughty little rodents (real talk i do love them, but they test me every day)

12: what sports do you play/have played?

none at the moment, but i did soccer with AYSO for about 10 years and danced hula for like 3 years - never went to any competitions but my sister did and won an award at the merrie monarch so im humblebragging on her behalf

13: how tall are you?

a good 5′7′‘, but i wear platform boots every day so with those on i’d be closer to 6 foot

14: favorite subject in school?

generally speaking english, but out of the courses i’m in right now ap studio art is my favorite, my art teacher is such a lovely lovely woman and every time we talk she inspires me - plus i usually do most of my tolkien ranting in ap studio so that’s another point in its favor

15: dream job?

in a perfect world i would be a painter with some rich guy sponsoring me to go ham on canvases galore, but the job i’m aiming for after the end of this semester is a tattoo artist (wish me luck gaddamn)

optional tags for my non-tolkien moots so you guys can get in on the fun: @rin--ren @rockdove-ridge @abyssal-glory and @lemonmans-squeezy (ik we barely talk but go ham)

#sent to me #the pom! signal #tag game #back to drawing naked tolkien properties

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princesscatalina99 · 1 year

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This will be most likely on instagram but I haven’t fully decided yet.

Small Introduction

Hey there. This isn’t my first roleplay, but it’s my first time doing it on this platform. I’m not sure if I’m using twitter or instagram. I’m leaning towards insta but I may get more people on twitter.. I really hope you guys like this group and we can all have some fun!

Plot

It’s basically what happens in season 3. I put a small synopsis in case you forgot. I may just watch it on Netflix to try and remember everything.

Season 3 took place primarily during Archie, Veronica, Betty, and Jughead's Junior year of high school. Between gang wars, cult rituals, and musical rehearsals, they actually went to prom and took the SATs.

Here’s my character’s backstory. Catalina Andrews doesn’t remember much from her younger years in Riverdale but she remembers more than her mother claims to have. She was a year younger than her brother and he was her favorite person in the world. She remembers the last Christmas they spent together. The Andrews went to the zoo and she saw a red panda and every time they went to see Santa, she begged him for a red panda. And even though it wasn’t a real one, she got a stuffed one that she named Jasper. She remembered going to Pop’s and she got a chocolate milkshake and tried to steal Archie’s French fries.

Well.. all that changed when her mother Mary, for whatever reason, decided to take her away from Archie when she was only 4 years old. Catalina cried as she was torn away from her favorite person in the world. She and Mary moved to Chicago.

While she lived there, she had quite a gloomy life. She hoped every day that she could escape and run back to Riverdale to find her brother. Her mother told her that he would never remember her anymore and he wouldn’t welcome her back. When she was just about to turn 15, she snuck out and ran out. She took her sketchbook, a few snacks and Jasper in her bag and ran out. She has finally arrived in Riverdale after 11 years and no matter what the differences are, she just wants to be with her favorite big brother in all the world. She just hopes her mother wasn’t right and be rejected from her own brother and father.

Rules

1. Please know the show, characters and season before you choose the characters

2. This includes a little bit of sex so please make sure you’re 18+! If you’ve seen riverdale you should probably know that already.

3. I would prefer if my character was the only oc. I don’t want people to take ocs and no canons. So I’d say please choose canons before ocs.

4. Please try to be literate. I would like people to do 3+ lines. Please only speak English and use no *..* when roleplaying and use full sentences.

5. Lgbtqia+ ships are allowed. Please no homophonic slurs or you will be removed.

6. You can play as many characters as you can control.

7. Please try and stay as active as possible.

8. Please stick to the ships I have put down below. You may make new ones if you’d like to.

9. If you would like a course on how to roleplay, just message me and I help.

10. Have fun!

Roles (in alphabetical order)

Alice Smith: Open

Archie Andrews: Open

Betty Cooper: Open

Black Hood: Open

Catalina Andrews: Taken by me

Charles Smith: Open

Cheryl Blossom: Open

Chic “Cooper”: Open

Claudius Blossom: Open

Clifford Blossom: Open

Edgar Evernever: Open

Ethel Muggs: Open

Evelyn Evernever: Open

Fred Andrews: Open

FP Jones: Open

Gargoyle King: Open

Gladys Jones: Open

Hermione Lodge: Open

Hiram Lodge: Open

Jellybean Jones: Open

Joaquin Desantos: Open

Josie McCoy: Open

Jughead Jones: Open

Kevin Keller: Open

Mary Andrews: Open

Moose Mason: Open

Penelope Blossom: Open

Reggie Mantle: Open

Sweet Pea: Open

Toni Topaz: Open

Veronica Lodge: Open

Ships

Betty Cooper and Jughead Jones

Veronica Lodge and Archie Andrews

Cheryl Blossom and Toni Topaz

Kevin Keller and Moose Mason

Mary Andrews and Fred Andrews

Hiram Lodge and Hermione Lodge

Thanks for reading everything! I really hope you have taken the time to read everything through. I hope I’ll see you all here! Please comment below what character(s) you would like to play.

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marmie-noir · 1 year

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Chapter 4: Heartfelt Mission

Aloy had been correct. Alva had been easy enough to spot amongst the people of Arrowhand. Not only did she not look like any of the people who called the small village home but she was also decorated in foreign beads of red with green detailing and something that looked like our Focus’ but appeared to be either an older model or was purely for looks. Walking behind myself but in front of Kotallo on the way back she didn’t pick up on any of the tension between the two of us, chatting away animatedly while going through the new focus we had brought for her. The Quen, her people, sounded odd and not like a place I personality had any interest in visiting. Kotallo seemed to think the same, the two of us sharing a few glances over the head of the bubbly woman in her rants.

I enjoyed her presence in a way that was almost surprising. She reminded me of Vana, a young girl hired by the house to do some cleaning in exchange for shards. Vana was all big eyes and wide smiles, her mouth never stopping as she asked questions and shared anything new she had learned every time she appeared to help with laundry or sweeping. I missed her even now, thinking back to my home in the Brothel. The loud men I could live without but the mornings where all the women gathered for food and any updates, the mistress seated at the head of it as she sorted accounts and took reports from both the girls and the few guards she kept around. I was always seated to her right, the one to inherit the houses, expected to take in everything she said and lock it away for future use.

Though I found Alva delightful, she was also a lot of energy to take in. I was either around soft spoken Zo or quiet Kotallo for the last few weeks or so and the Quen Diviner had a headache growing behind my eyes. I showed her to a room none of us had bothered using, raw data displayed everywhere, and she immediately made herself at home. Sitting on a low counter I found myself alone with Alva, my Tenakth companion disappearing the moment we entered the base, I’m sure also wanting a little bit of quiet. I listened a bit, hearing about her little sister and family, as well as the structure of her people, but kept my opinions to myself. I found it was not the best way to make friends by immediately insulting someone’s entire way of life in the first few days of knowing them.

Once I was sure Alva was comfortable (her wide smile and intense interest in the data proving that) I excused myself to head to the bathing rooms myself. The dust and scrapes from my tumble with Kotallo down the hill had left my hair in a rather unpleasant tangled state. I washed, detangled the large mass, and walked out of the bathing room with it down to let my long hair dry quickly.

It was late, our trip to retrieve Alva started mid day and between the hike there and back eating up the rest of the sunlight and giving way to the cool nights of the West. Erend was half asleep on the couches in the main gathering area, Varl and Zo already in bed, Alva and Kotallo probably both in their respective areas as well. I stirred Erend, not wanting to hear about how his neck hurt for the next few days for sleeping in such a position, and helped him to his bed. As I suspected Kotallo’s cot lay empty across the small room. Glancing at the familiar paint pots for a moment as Erend began to loudly snore I didn’t want to linger. I’d go speak with Gaia before I retired for the evening.

The hiss of the door opening was normal now, no longer having me on edge, and I walked up to the platform the AI used as her main space. With a swirl of beautiful golds and yellows she appeared, a being of light, and I could easily see how some thought of her as a goddess. Her face was aged in a way that was graceful, not from hardship, her expression soft, comforting, and I found it helped us see her as trusting. With my vague understanding of ‘programming’ and with how blunt Gaia answered questions it had to be intention on her creators part.

“Hello Anara.”

“Gaia.” I said with a small nod. “I was wondering if I could bother you for some information?”

She smiled, such a human gesture. “Of course, what is it you wanted to know?”

“Could you please send me any data you have on larger settlements in the West. I know Aloy’s probably been to most, I’m attempting to gather data to see if I can find a location that may be suitable to present to my mistress? I understand it’s a long shot, I don’t think the Carja born women will be of interest to the Tenakth anyway, but I need to at least give this an effort.” Once I had a list of establishments I could also go on a tour myself and check out these places to see if they had need of a brothel.

My focus made a small ping noise as the data was transferred, Gaia gesturing as if to sift through anything she was sending my way. “I do know there are a number of settlements from here to the sea, although I cannot speak on the exact number of people living there.”

“You are looking for camps?” Kotallo’s deep voice had me glancing over my shoulder to watch the man stalk up the stairs to stand next to me, facing Gaia as well. Her golden light cast shadows across his face, highlighting the scar on his lip, and I lingered there a moment before meeting his eyes.

“Yes.” Glancing at the data it opened a map, new markers on the map, I attempted to keep my eyes to myself and my new information. “Nothing nefarious, I assure you.” Biting my lower lip a moment to hide my smile I swiped the data to look at another portion of the map with the little dots where Gaia had indicated there were large settlements. “My mistress has to be wondering where I am and I’d like to prove that I’ve at least looked to see if there was a suitable place to create a new establishment.”

“And your thoughts?”

Unable to help myself I looked at him once more. Per usual Kotallo’s expression was serious and it was clear he was genuinely interested in what I thought on the matter. “I don’t think she will find business here. At least, not with the women. The West opens up a lot of opportunities, but a brothel doesn’t appear to be needed by the Tenakth, the Utaru, or the Quen from what I can find. Not that the Quen are native to the area anyway…” Puckering my lips a moment while I looked at the map once more I thought for a moment. “If the alliance between the Tenakth and the Carja ever happens we might have a place for our women, to entertain the Carja and Oseram people coming for trade, but that seems to be it. I don’t see Tenakth as a whole accepting Carja born women, and your tribe is well known for being against taking a partner outside of their own. I didn’t exactly get the warmest welcome.”

Kotallo put his hand on his hip, nodding a moment, before opening up some data and sending it to my device as well. “I cannot speak for how others treated you. We don’t always value physical beauty, at least most do not. Warriors want warriors for partners. It’s not necessarily uncommon for a Tenakth to pick a partner from another people, but once they are taken, they are Tenakth.”

“Like Fashav?”

He frowned at the name, clearly the loss of his friend still fresh, but nodded before I could apologize. “In a way. Fashav was a war prisoner, he fought to earn his place. The Tenakth will take strong warriors regardless of birth or people. But a taken partner, while in some situations may need to prove their worth, is normally accepted much easier.”

I opened his files to find pictures of people, normal looking Tenakth from my reckoning, but if I looked past the paint and unfamiliar clothing I could see some features that were distinctly Oseram, Carja, and potentially even Banuk. “Why is that?” He blinked at me, as if confused by my question. “Why is a taken partner accepted better than a war prisoner?”

“A Tenakth won’t take a partner unless they are worthy. If a warrior returns home with a new mate who previously was not Tenakth, they have proven themselves to the warrior.” He quirked his lips at that, a little smile as if he was thinking of a specific situation. “Although… I have seen a Tenakth born challenge the new mate to prove their worth, as they had wanted the warrior for themselves.”

“Oh?” He simply nodded but didn’t offer more. I didn’t feel comfortable enough to ask, especially in front of our AI friend, but filed that away for later, pleased with the newly gained information. “I’ll get that story out of you one day.”

“I look forward to your efforts.” His face relaxed, an easier smile pulling at his lips at my determined expression. For the first time his eyes flicked over to Gaia before settling back onto mine. “Did you get the information you needed or should I return later?”

“Oh, yes.” Turning to Gaia I thanked her, wanting to get out of his way. I walked out wondering what he needed from our AI friend.

Glancing over at Zo she gave me a subtle nod and I gave one back. Pulling my right arm back, the arrow leveling with the Watcher, I held it for two breaths before releasing. It flew straight, sinking into the eye-like light in it’s head, stumbling forward another step before collapsing. We waited a few more breaths to make sure another machine wasn’t coming to investigate before slowly moving towards our downed kill.

Zo got there first, quick fingers working loose the parts we needed, and I made sure to keep a lookout. Recently machines had become more aggressive, almost overnight, and I had a feeling it was because the sub function we were unable to capture, HEPHAESTUS, was being a dick. “I’ve heard the Banut do not let their hunts strip their own kills.” Zo says quietly to make idle conversation. “I think that would be inconvenient.”

“I agree.” Glancing around the small clearing surrounded by the thick trees of the forest I deemed it safe enough and gave a little shrug. “Your people and the Banut would probably get along though. Both of you believe Machines are living creatures.”

“The Vari do not?”

“Not like animals, no. They are alive in the sense that they move and have purpose, but they are not breathing beings. They do not have feelings.”

“Mm.” She made a noncommittal noise in the back of her throat, handing me a bag of machine parts. I suspected that I got the heavier load due to my opinions but had expected it. Zo felt a connection with her Land Gods and while I could respect it, I didn’t understand it. My people hunted machines like all tribes did, but that was it. There was a respect owed to a machine that could kill a human easily but beyond that I didn’t pretend they were sentient beings with feelings. Although her Gods were different from the others that I had seen… Shaking my head slightly I shouldered the pack and we began our walk to the base. I was luckier than Erend, when he tried to poke fun at her Land Gods she laid him out. Entertaining but not something I was willing to experience.

We had been heading out the last few days together, foraging and hunting to get some fresh air out of the base. Alva hadn’t been inclined to join, Erend was too noisy to sneak around, Zo stated Varl needed to catch up to her studies, and Kotallo advised he was busy with a project that needed his attention unless we required he hunt as well.

I wondered what he was up to. He had been working away the last few days, only glancing up when I peeked in to see if he wanted me to take a look at his arm or to bring him some food. His focus was at least a good distraction so I could look at him without him noticing too much. I liked Kotallo’s scars and his tattoos, unable to pick a favorite, and although he remained focused on his task I had sat in the room for a bit studying to get away from Erend’s tipsy rants and Alva’s unending ramblings about her new information. I adored them both but not learning friendly.

My curiosity got the better of me after three long days. “Kotallo?” He made a noise in his throat indicating he was listening but didn’t look away from what he was reading, brows drawn down in concentration. “What have you been so concentrated on?”

That had him looking over at me. Breaking from the symbols showed me how tired he looked, like he hadn’t been getting enough sleep for at least a few days. Running his hand down his face he glanced back at the data before letting out a low sigh and turning to face where I had made a little seat in the corner. “I found an old data point that indicated the old ones would replace lost limbs with made ones.”

I blinked a few times, processing what he said. “And you… want one?”

“I believe so.”

“Oh.” Giving a little shrug I tilted my head to the side. “That makes sense, do you need me to go on a parts run?”

Something in his expression warmed and I couldn’t help my smile. If someone asked I couldn’t exactly point it out, it was like trying to watch a flower bloom, but I adored it. Like his eyes got warmer and the lines on his face smoothed a bit, but more of a vibe versus a facial expression. “No, but thank you. I am waiting for Aloy to return. The base where they found Beta seems to have some data I need to create the arm, and I have been told it is still heavily guarded by the Zeniths.”

I remembered when Beta had been brought home by Varl and Aloy. A younger version of our savior, quieter too. The redheads did not appear friendly, every time Aloy returned to the base she either avoided Beta or their fighting could be heard in the upper levels. I hadn’t personally gone to meet her, Zo was soft so she made more sense. Varl had that kind aura that drew people in. I was just not as friendly, not as welcoming, and figured it would be better to avoid her versus cause more tension.

“Have you spoken to her lately? Will she be returning soon?” The thought of Kotallo and Aloy chatting all day over the focus was highly unlikely, neither really spoke much unless they had something they wanted to say specifically. But my jealous heart twisted around in my chest putting all sorts of unlikely scenarios in my head.

He studied me, taking notice of the emotion crossing my face for a moment before I could bottle it back up. Instead of asking if I was well he simply lifted a shoulder in a tired shrug, eyes moving down to the holo-map he seemed to be staring at more and more each day. “She is currently helping the Desert Clan with a water problem, but I am sure she will return soon.” He wasn’t wrong, Aloy returned as much as she was able, but I still worried for her. Regardless of my feelings towards her and Kotallo’s relationship she was my friend and I was concerned for her health. She didn’t rest enough and I wasn’t sure she was eating enough constantly on the road as well.

“Once this is all settled I am locking her in a room for at least a week.” I said with a small grin and shake of my head. His tired little half smile answered me and the two of us stood in silence for a bit. “Well… I’m going to turn in Kotallo. Do you need anything before I go to my rooms?”

“No. Rest well, Anara.” Ignoring how his sleepy voice said my name I gave him a last smile and disappeared from the room. On the way through the quiet halls an idea began to form in the back of my mind. Aloy wouldn’t be back for some time, especially if she was in the desert currently. I was sitting around like a useless lump but what if I went to the base? Vari were stealthy people and I was no exception, I was sure I could sneak in and out without alerting any Zeniths to my presence. Turning from my path I headed towards Gaia.

Pressing my back to a cool metal wall my furs did little to stop the cold from sinking down to my bones, but it wasn’t from the temperature. The Zenith’s machines, unnatural in a way that was completely alien, scanned where they thought I was hiding. Right after I had gathered the data it seemed to alert them somehow of my presence and two of these creatures slunk into the room to begin hunting me. It had been a bit of time as they continued to comb through all the areas as I snuck in the back rooms and gathered any parts that the focus highlighted. The pack was heavy on my back but I made sure to secure it tightly enough that nothing would move around and cause me to stumble or make unnecessary noise.

Watching them move gave me an impression that these machines were faster than their large sizes gave away. I had watched Aloy, Erend, and Varl’s focus data from their fight with them and I knew the weak points but would rather not take two on by myself if I could help it. Holding my breath for a moment they swung to scan another area and I dove towards another stack of abandoned boxes left by the old ones. Every few moments they shifted and continued to look for me but I had been able to slink around in the shadows and the darkness that the base provided, footsteps silent as I continued to make my way towards the exit.

Leaving the huge room I had gathered the data from I carefully made my way through the maze of halls and small off-shoot rooms. Thankfully I was able to create a pretty simple map thanks to Gaia and the data from the others and within a few minutes I was making my way up the odd tube-like entrance that the Zenith had dug directly into the side of the mountain. The cold winter wind howled and covered any movement I made. Never thought I’d be thankful for a snow storm.

Stepping onto the flat area on the side of the mountain I jumped into some tall grass just as another Spector rushed down the tunnel to help the other two look for me. Listening to it scrambling loudly down the tunnel I waited for a few more heartbeats before dashing from my hiding spot and towards the edge. I could climb down, although my hands and feet were already cold, but if I didn’t go quickly there was a chance I’d have to hide out here and try to keep warm while avoiding these machines for Stars knows how long.

Footholds and handholds were easy to locate thanks to the focus and I silently sent a blessing to Aloy as I picked my way down the side, the roaring storm creating white-out conditions that covered me enough. When my feet hit the ground I didn’t waste any time and turned, dashing towards the forest and where my mount was hopefully still waiting. As I hopped on and raced down the mountain hoping to get out of scan range my focus reactivated and the silenced setting I had turned on apparently shutting down now that I was within safe range. Multiple messages hit me back to back, everyone at the base asking at least once where I was, and a few from Aloy asking why she was notified by Gaia that I’d gone into the Nimah Research Lab alone.

Sending them all a response it was a simple symbol that Gaia advised was to be a ‘smiley face’, used to communicate a good mood among other things. That didn’t settle down Erend or Varl, both of them continuing to call me until I ignored them each a few more times. I rode hard through the rest of the night, ducked near the machine under me and feeling it’s metal parts rotate smoothly, lines and cables ensuring a smooth ride. It also helped that the machines were at least a little warm, providing some heat for my thighs as my large cloak covered myself from neck to billow around the creature to trap in all the warmth I could get. I still ended up covered in a thick layer of ice. The storm had bad timing but it also shielded my escape from the machines I’d left behind in the base, plus any that could have gotten in my way on the ride back, so I just clenched the warm clothing tighter and grit my teeth.

As the base drew closer I felt myself nearly slump over with exhaustion. I wanted a hot shower and my bed immediately. Stopping the machine near the tiny herd that Aloy kept for us to take when needed I climbed up the small cliff leading to the door. It hissed open and I walked in, warmth enveloping me and having me sigh loudly. Blinking a few times as my finger tips began to tingle I walked the rest of the way in, grimacing at the squishing noise of my fur boots. I was toeing them off when I heard Erend’s shout startling me out of my own skin.

“SHE’S BACK!”

Snapping my head up just in time to see Erend’s scowl he swept me up, Oseram strength pinning my arms to my side as he hoisted me up into a warm hug, swinging me side to side. The ice on my clothing broke off, making a mess all around us, but he didn’t seem to mind it or the cold. I squirmed, finally able to break free just in time for Varl and Zo step into the main area. It was early morning, too early to be making so much noise, but it appeared no one else was really resting. Alva peeked out before catching sight of my scowl and sending me a little smile before disappearing back into the information room. Kotallo came out next, hand on his hip as he took in my frost burned face and heavy pack.

Ignoring Varl and Erend’s questions I pulled up the data on my focus and pushed it to Kotallo, his own lighting up a moment later and displaying what I had found. I shrugged off the pack, the heavy parts making my arms jerk painfully against the weight before I held it out to him. That had everyone going silent, taking in his surprised face and my determined one, chin tipping up to look at him.

“You went alone.”

“Yes.” He took the bag from me, glancing inside before looking back up at me.

“Why?”

“Do you not want it?” I asked and moved as if to grab the bag back. Once I had a strap he didn’t let go either, using it to pull me closer. I flushed, stumbling slightly before catching myself. I glanced over my shoulder, shooting Zo a look, and she began to usher the other men back to bed. Once they cleared out, much to Erend’s dismay, I turned my attention back to the Marshal before me. “Kotallo I- I know you wanted to go with Aloy but I’m quick. I can get in and out of most places without being detected and with Aloy so busy I didn’t know when she’d be able to go and I didn’t like the thought of you waiting.” All of it true. If I could help I wanted to. Not that I wouldn’t have done the same to any other member of my party but for some reason helping Kotallo had me feeling a bit shy, eyes drifting down to the ground.

“You really got it all.” I looked back up to see him inspecting the inside of the bag. Glancing back up at me I felt a tension string in the air. He looked me in the eyes a moment before dipping down to my toes and then back up to hold my gaze. “Anara, I accept this.” His words held a weight I didn’t completely understand. My heart thundered in my chest and I swallowed loudly, my throat suddenly dry under his intense examination, unable to ask for clarification on what he means. Most people would say thank you, so what did he mean?

“I-Kotallo I-” Biting at my lower lip I swallowed the confession. I was about to tell him I’d do almost anything if he needed it, I would go further. I’d even brave the cold again if it would be helpful for him. I released the shoulder strap of the bag and let it fall, taking a step back. What was that all about? “I’m going to bathe and lay down, as you can imagine I’m cold and tired. Please, let me know if I can help with anything else.” He nodded but didn’t say anything else, watching me retreat towards the bathing area.

#Horizon #ForbiddenWest #kotallo #anara #Vari #Tenakth #KotalloxOC #fanfic #romance #OCcharacter #firstperson #Anaraisbadatfeelings #Thetrialsoflovingatenakth #TTOLAT

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wheelsondeck · 3 months

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Torrie Wilson the professional wrestler, personal trainer and model.

You can thank Wikipedia for that one. And Google search results for the images I will be using of her haha. Regular camera pictures of my real merchandise will be used too, along with screenshots from Torrie Wilson’s social media, etc. I’ve sort of built my own little collection on my other phone- a tracfone Nokia model. It’s not much but that’s sort of my point; if you have to be cheap then do it! I’m talking about your platform and resources. It’s okay to be a little crafty. You don’t always have to be official. Good luck! That’s what I’m doing to be handy with the tools I’ve got to use as I explore all this newness.

Anyway, Torrie Wilson is my favorite person in the whole world basically! Favorite WWE superstar as a diva. And probably favorite celebrity period. Definitely favorite all time professional wrestler. I figure I’d give this blog to her since she’s a big part of my story. I personally am not that great at speaking. Like Torrie, I’m a little shy. But I’ll do what I can in giving the “abouts her” or, whatever you might say, justice. She reminds me a lot of myself when I explore her on social media. It’s very refreshing because I already like Torrie so much. I guess you could call me a mark. Torrie might as well be the real life Barbie doll I never really let go of as a little child. I play with her all the time.

Fitness is pretty much her life. I’ve always looked up to Torrie for fitspiration and motivational talk ever since times got challenging in my life with the human trafficking. Torrie has actually spoken up pro in anti human trafficking. That’s really cool. She’s always bringing up a good point. Too many for me to keep track of honestly. But they are strong points I believe in wholeheartedly and could see myself saying, that I hold onto subconsciously. I do similar work that Torrie does but I’ve been stuck on working on myself first and foremost. So for now I choose to just live by it and practice the preach. Live by light. Being spiritual is something Torrie Wilson is about too. Star seeds you might call us. Spreading the good vibes and tapping into that let loose way of delivering the message with positivity is just a little something the soul’s love to cater to those seeking the guidance does for the world that needs it. But she’s very straightforward. Works out like super serious. I should know, I’ve done a fitness challenge Torrie Wilson hosted when she did work with this group called Sage Spot. One of many project gigs picked up by Torrie. I think that’s what she does in life but with many of them. Always something new and refreshing every so often with her. I haven’t taken advantage of all the different fitness and professional wrestling stuff she’s offered since leaving WWE because I hadn’t the time or the money to get involved. I’m trying to play catch up with the fitness work out stuff. WWE, I haven’t got to see any of Torrie’s recent matches and appearances except for what YouTube barely has plus her first Royal Rumble match and some of the hall of fame speech from the induction in 2019.

With a nearly ten year career before making some rare appearances in WWE later, Torrie Wilson still shares entertaining moments that are so sexy and fun for me to watch even to this day. Known for not being the best wrestler but more eye candy and valeting, Torrie has a certain value to her that makes her one of a kind in the industry. That’s why I think she made an epic hall of famer! There’s so much more to know about this woman but I’m not going to pretend I can run through everything, at least not right away.

I’m applying some life coaching out of my human trafficking drama. And part of the human trafficking drama was to be a success story from a possible nice comeback into the entertainment industry through professional wrestling as I’m a former sports entertainer for a brief time in my life. My peak was in Los Angeles when I had an opportunity to impress WWE as I was under their radar unofficially being trained by former WWE superstar Brian Kendrick. It was there I found myself remembering how much I loved Torrie Wilson and actually found her (and Barbie Blank fka Kelly Kelly) to be the one inspiring piece of the business I needed to envision myself as I would present myself for business proposals to continue with my shot for a WWE tryout. But I got lost in the human trafficking scene.

I tended to look up to Torrie Wilson’s storylines for a relation that felt compatible and out of anybody, it just happened to be her. My favorite all time wrestler. It’s the perfection in her storylines and character that made me feel like I had a mirror to help keep me going strong as I went through some real trials after I left Los Angeles. I was learning more about the truths of true love and where the heart is in a home. While continuing to be me. And because of who Torrie Wilson is, I can basically say I stayed true to me and I am just like her with no apologies. Same drama as her WWE career in many ways. Very pretty. Maybe I’ll tell you about WCW someday.

I couldn’t have a story in mind for Wheels On Deck without Torrie either, obviously. That’s why you’ll see her in my blogs and social media so much. I’ve got this! I’m Torrie Wilson haha! To a core. Wheels On Deck been in the works much like I have as I’ve been holding onto myself and applying myself to my obstacles and fun. But facing the challenges and the drama is the fun I wrestle with anyway. Much like it’s fun to start this blog but I am so not a writer normally so this is taking much effort!

But the story has to start somewhere, right? Plus I’m having to get use to calling myself Barbie boy out loud. That way this whole concept will eventually catch on. Especially for what’s confidential. That world “confidential” is inspired and comes from a WWE episode of a show called Confidential that really made me tell myself “she’s the one I admire!” when I first started watching WWE and got to see more of Torrie. It was her life before she became famous. And this was only a brush of who she is and what the two time Playboy cover girl was about. I tried to mention most what IS the general information off the top of my head as you’re only getting hints of me too in the beginning of Wheels On Deck. It’s part of the sorority/fraternity rules that I came up with in my concept of fun as I go in the current moments. It’s all a little silly but that’s to keep this world a little carefree. But yeah, Torrie Wilson is the one I play with in Wheels On Deck. Thanks for touring.

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