Not my stomach making whale calls, like shut up bitch you're the reason I have to starve, like just eat yourself already and let me be ✨️skinny ✨️
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dude I don't think anyone here knows how fucking DESPERATE I am to lose we1ght, I skip two meals and am forced to eat dinner, I will literally DO ANYTHING, if I have to steal pills from stores I WILL, If I have to start drinking energy drinks I fucking will, if I have to shoplift shit from stores I will, I will do WHATEVER it takes, even if its just a singular p0und I will be happy, I want MY stomach to get smaller, I want to see a difference in my face, I want to look as sick as possible, I want people to be concerned, I want people to be shocked and scared when they see how sk1nny and s1ck I have gotten, I'm literally losing sleep over this,
is that too much to ask for? why did God have to torture me and make my life miserable with this fat, tub of lard you call a "b0dy"
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trying to fast until monday, i’m not usually good with fasting, so wish me luck!!
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miss my body before puberty hit me and i gained 1000 pounds
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sometimes i enjoy the chaos of bulimia
I feel so fucked up on the inside that having periods of this junkie-like state where all I do is eat, puke, rot in my room, have questionable hygiene, waste money ++... feels "good"? not good but like... it feels right. i feel like a dirty little rat who built up a dirty little secret rat life and its all mine.
losing weight and seeing how shit my skin is getting, the dark circles, lack of energy, feeling the days blending into each other, I just want to fuck up and make everything go to shit to forget how bad I'm doing in life outside of ED. i think its subconsciously a way to avoid responsibility so that I can be like "ooh well I can't progress in life or accomplish anything while I'm busy with fucking throwing up chocolate cake"
i look in the mirror after purging and see my red face, red eyes, with tears and snot and puke all around my mouth, and it just feels like, yep, that's me. being this fucked and gross fits my fucked up self perfectly.
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dont have to count the calories if i can throw it all up <3
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I love how my body is no longer asking for food. My portions are smaller and big portions/feeling full is fucking gross to me
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i wish my parents did not care about me, so I can actually st@rv3 myself, they just be shoving food down my throat, I get they care about me but I just wish they did not
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Another lb lost, 140lbs now (63.5 kg)
Its Easter and I literally got so much god damn food wtf am I even gonna do with this bc I don’t want it💀😭
Dude
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