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sike-n · 2 months

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A man walks into a bar

And asks the bartender for a drink

Put it in a glass or a human body either way they are one and the same

The man stands before the glass stands on the counter

His hands holds the glass holds his drink

Then the exchange

Mouth open the glass lets go of all that it is

Mouth open the man seeks to forget all that he is

Lets go of the glass

The glass tumbles

He stumbles

The glass falls

The man is down

Glass splinters glitter on the ground

Stars hidden by the man on the moon

Who has fallen off his throne

Not quite responds the bartender

As he sweeps what remains of the glass into a dust pan

And he commands the man to stand back up

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fantodsdhrit · 4 years

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we leave each other for us

let me start now, from where you have left our leftovers, and close my mouth—

the muse always has fangs, had,

you can't take what's already stolen, broken, shattered, eaten, but take it—anyway;

the month is may maybe or your opinion about perspectives,

gold threads and bolshevism—

when i change course, it has nothing to do with you or your pillars and edicts,

it is more about my—superfluous ego

+

which has a mind of its own, a mind within a mind, an enclave?

what you call night, i call a cloud—

it's the darkness between the sweeps i ponder over, not the lighthouse.

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anothersmalltownhero · 4 years

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femmmedarling · 5 years

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Walk on broken mirrors

barefoot

The lentils are on the stove

Hear them burn.

While the Cars play

and the CD skips

You stare at the blood

Quick now,

Run

-Who will whisper to a Dead Girl’s Grave // a.k.g. // 9.29.19

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sike-n · 2 years

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i think of you when it rains

i think of you when i see angel numbers

i think of you when i see the colour blue

i think of you when i hear certain songs

many songs

every song

and i think of you when i see a stranger's smile

and i think of you when i do a random act of kindess

and i think of you when when i see winnie the pooh

and i think of you

i think of you

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sike-n · 2 years

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i want to say

but baby don't you know nostalgia is a liar

you don't want me back

and neither do i

i want to twist the stray stands of your hair around my finger

and smirk

because all i am is a flirt

i can't take anything seriously

least of all love

what's serious about it anyways

crying over someone you don't know

not being able to stop thinking about someone you did

and baby don't you know nostalgia is a liar

there was never a me

there might never have even been a you

there's really nothing to remember

because baby don't you know

nostalgia

is

a

fucking

liar

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sike-n · 2 years

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a year to remember

i used to write a recap poem

every december

summing up everything

beginning from the start in january

packaging it neatly

messily

haphazardly

in poetry

i don't anymore

i stopped writing this year

poetry

text messages

journal entries

to-do lists

anything

everything

writing is remembering

and i just want to forget

it's december 30th

only a few minutes before the 31st and

i'm having end of the year emotions

for me that means

sentimental stupidity

i'm in love with life

and disgusted with myself

i miss everyone

but this year i miss myself mostly

i don't remember who i am

i wish i wrote it down sometime

i wonder if the answer is in one of my old poetry books

there are so many and they're dust covered

if i'm in there i'll never find me

but if i'm in there

then i don't ever want to find me

there isn't a me to find

i don't think i ever existed before

maybe next year i will try to

maybe i will start writing again

inventing me

maybe i won't start with poetry

maybe just with a list of things i love

and then journal entries

and then to-do lists

i'll even try to send my friends some messages

and maybe on december 30th 2022

i will write a recap poem

maybe in 2022 i'll have a year i want to remember

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sike-n · 2 years

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i reach out but no one reaches back

they say loneliness is just a myth

and your 20s are just like this

and i say if no one touches me soon

i'll touch myself

i'll cut my left hand off

hold it in my right

take a walk in the park

red drops replacing red roses

i'll cut my hand off

and feed myself

and caress my own cheek

and tell them your 20s don't have to be like this

you don't have to be so damn lonely

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sike-n · 3 years

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The gap between us has grown too wide

We didn't even see it forming

It was like one morning you woke up

And I woke up

And we reached across the way we usually did

And realized our hands were too far to touch

And there was a chasm at our feet

And no way to get across

I say we both leap as far as we can

Trust fate will make us meet in the middle

So what if there's no way out but down from there

We go down together or we don't go down at all

But what if I jump

And you fall short?

What if we don't meet in the middle?

What if there was never a middle ground for us anyways?

That's the scariest part to discover

So instead we stay with the chasm at our feet

Stretching as far as we used to

Knowing it'll never close the gap that has grown between us

But we still reach out

Doesn't that count for something?

Does it count at all?

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sike-n · 2 years

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all the kids on my block (i'm one of them) are growing up

no more playing ball with dad, now he and i mow the lawn together

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sike-n · 3 years

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how best do i describe the ghost sitting at the foot of my bed

just a dark figure

face turned away from me

some days it weeps

and some days it laughs

some days it is loneliness, or love, or hurt

others it is romance, solitude, nostalgia

but most days it's just the past

i sleep with the past at the foot of my bed

the angel of death

if i asked it would lay beside me

love me for the night

love me right

love me

love me!

i guess that's what i'm screaming inside

to be loved

the way i was in the past

but just as i can't ask for love in the present

i can't ask for it from the past

and i'm afraid i'll live a future

never able to say

that maybe i just want to be loved

it always comes out as a possibility

when really it is a declaration

so i sleep with the past at the foot of my bed

keep it at a distance

but closer than anything else

that i don't allow to come close to me

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sike-n · 3 years

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thinking about how the smallest things make me spiral downward or get drunk on joy...

unawares

i am body slammed into sadness

the littlest things

take a jack hammer to my spirit

to my heart

to my mind

the shards tear at my insides

and a storm of blood

rages inside me

sometimes it leaks out a bit

bitterness fills my mouth

so pungent

so numbing

i know i have never tasted sweet before

and now i will never get to enjoy it

depressed, distraught, deranged

i say i hate feeling so much

at the cost of so little

but equally

unawares

i am body slammed into excitement and love and gratitude

the littlest things

overflow my spirit

my heart

my mind

with pure joy

it fills up all inside me

until it leaks out

and i readily pass it on

the sweetness fills my mouth

sickeningly sweet

but i will never get sick of happiness

and i will never complain

that it cost so little

for me to feel so much excitement

i fall back in love with life

feeling as if i never fell out

rather i'm just a lover

suddenly smitten senseless

by the qualities of my lover that i have always admired

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sike-n · 3 years

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acknowledgement

all my friendships are buried in june

right before the heat sets in

and the ground cakes and crumbles

the earth is still soft in june

and my tears helped where nature didn't

but i'm not sad

and i'm not in pain

i gave these dead a neutral burial

i wanted them as close to nature as possible

i wanted them to grow again

maybe not in my life

but to be the big strong tree

others will gather under

and someone will attach a tire swing to a branch

and someone else will bring a picnic basket

and another will softly strum a guitar

and yet another will tell stories

and at night there will be a fire lit

and tents pitched

and the smell of smores filling the air

and there will be laughter and fun and happy days

and i will watch from my window

diamonds glistening in my eyes

nostalgia? no

reminiscing? no

feeling sentimental? no

just acknowledging that something beautiful once existed

and never really ended

because things that matter are never destroyed

just rearranged

reshaped

rebirthed

the same way my life has been changed

by these connections

and yet i exist

and yet i live on

and i will, i will

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sike-n · 3 years

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all my dreams are nightmares

and in them you love me

- and the scary part is i love you too

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sike-n · 3 years

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why do i let love consume me??

loving is you is making me sick i've been vomitting everyday since we met retching you out of me in lyrics and poetry and the stars i see and the words i read and the things i do only to consume your smile your voice your kindness your words your love later on and then i become sick again but love i am trying to abstain i haven't feasted on you in days weeks months yet every morning every midday every night i still throw you up

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