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#bluestruckwriting
sike-n · 2 months
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A man walks into a bar
And asks the bartender for a drink
Put it in a glass or a human body either way they are one and the same
The man stands before the glass stands on the counter
His hands holds the glass holds his drink
Then the exchange
Mouth open the glass lets go of all that it is
Mouth open the man seeks to forget all that he is
Lets go of the glass
The glass tumbles
He stumbles
The glass falls
The man is down
Glass splinters glitter on the ground
Stars hidden by the man on the moon
Who has fallen off his throne
Not quite responds the bartender
As he sweeps what remains of the glass into a dust pan
And he commands the man to stand back up
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fantodsdhrit · 4 years
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we leave each other for us
let me start now, from where you have left our leftovers, and close my mouth—
the muse always has fangs, had,
you can't take what's already stolen, broken, shattered, eaten, but take it—anyway;
the month is may maybe or your opinion about perspectives,
gold threads and bolshevism—
when i change course, it has nothing to do with you or your pillars and edicts,
it is more about my—superfluous ego
+
which has a mind of its own, a mind within a mind, an enclave?
what you call night, i call a cloud—
it's the darkness between the sweeps i ponder over, not the lighthouse.
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femmmedarling · 5 years
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Walk on broken mirrors
barefoot
The lentils are on the stove
Hear them burn.
While the Cars play
and the CD skips
You stare at the blood
Quick now,
Run
-Who will whisper to a Dead Girl’s Grave // a.k.g. // 9.29.19
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sike-n · 2 years
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i think of you when it rains
i think of you when i see angel numbers
i think of you when i see the colour blue
i think of you when i hear certain songs
many songs
every song
and i think of you when i see a stranger's smile
and i think of you when i do a random act of kindess
and i think of you when when i see winnie the pooh
and i think of you
i think of you
i think of you
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sike-n · 2 years
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i want to say
but baby don't you know nostalgia is a liar
you don't want me back
and neither do i
i want to twist the stray stands of your hair around my finger
and smirk
because all i am is a flirt
i can't take anything seriously
least of all love
what's serious about it anyways
crying over someone you don't know
not being able to stop thinking about someone you did
and baby don't you know nostalgia is a liar
there was never a me
there might never have even been a you
there's really nothing to remember
because baby don't you know
nostalgia
is
a
fucking
liar
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sike-n · 2 years
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a year to remember
i used to write a recap poem
every december
summing up everything
beginning from the start in january
packaging it neatly
messily
haphazardly
in poetry
i don't anymore
i stopped writing this year
poetry
text messages
journal entries
to-do lists
anything
everything
writing is remembering
and i just want to forget
it's december 30th
only a few minutes before the 31st and
i'm having end of the year emotions
for me that means
sentimental stupidity
i'm in love with life
and disgusted with myself
i miss everyone
but this year i miss myself mostly
i don't remember who i am
i wish i wrote it down sometime
i wonder if the answer is in one of my old poetry books
there are so many and they're dust covered
if i'm in there i'll never find me
but if i'm in there
then i don't ever want to find me
there isn't a me to find
i don't think i ever existed before
maybe next year i will try to
maybe i will start writing again
inventing me
maybe i won't start with poetry
maybe just with a list of things i love
and then journal entries
and then to-do lists
i'll even try to send my friends some messages
and maybe on december 30th 2022
i will write a recap poem
maybe in 2022 i'll have a year i want to remember
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sike-n · 2 years
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i reach out but no one reaches back
they say loneliness is just a myth
and your 20s are just like this
and i say if no one touches me soon
i'll touch myself
i'll cut my left hand off
hold it in my right
take a walk in the park
red drops replacing red roses
i'll cut my hand off
and feed myself
and caress my own cheek
and tell them your 20s don't have to be like this
you don't have to be so damn lonely
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sike-n · 3 years
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The gap between us has grown too wide
We didn't even see it forming
It was like one morning you woke up
And I woke up
And we reached across the way we usually did
And realized our hands were too far to touch
And there was a chasm at our feet
And no way to get across
I say we both leap as far as we can
Trust fate will make us meet in the middle
So what if there's no way out but down from there
We go down together or we don't go down at all
But what if I jump
And you fall short?
What if we don't meet in the middle?
What if there was never a middle ground for us anyways?
That's the scariest part to discover
So instead we stay with the chasm at our feet
Stretching as far as we used to
Knowing it'll never close the gap that has grown between us
But we still reach out
Doesn't that count for something?
Does it count at all?
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sike-n · 2 years
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all the kids on my block (i'm one of them) are growing up
no more playing ball with dad, now he and i mow the lawn together
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sike-n · 3 years
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how best do i describe the ghost sitting at the foot of my bed
just a dark figure
face turned away from me
some days it weeps
and some days it laughs
some days it is loneliness, or love, or hurt
others it is romance, solitude, nostalgia
but most days it's just the past
i sleep with the past at the foot of my bed
the angel of death
if i asked it would lay beside me
love me for the night
love me right
love me
love me
love me!
i guess that's what i'm screaming inside
to be loved
the way i was in the past
but just as i can't ask for love in the present
i can't ask for it from the past
and i'm afraid i'll live a future
never able to say
that maybe i just want to be loved
it always comes out as a possibility
when really it is a declaration
so i sleep with the past at the foot of my bed
keep it at a distance
but closer than anything else
that i don't allow to come close to me
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sike-n · 3 years
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thinking about how the smallest things make me spiral downward or get drunk on joy...
unawares
i am body slammed into sadness
the littlest things
take a jack hammer to my spirit
to my heart
to my mind
the shards tear at my insides
and a storm of blood
rages inside me
sometimes it leaks out a bit
bitterness fills my mouth
so pungent
so numbing
i know i have never tasted sweet before
and now i will never get to enjoy it
depressed, distraught, deranged
i say i hate feeling so much
at the cost of so little
but equally
unawares
i am body slammed into excitement and love and gratitude
the littlest things
overflow my spirit
my heart
my mind
with pure joy
it fills up all inside me
until it leaks out
and i readily pass it on
the sweetness fills my mouth
sickeningly sweet
but i will never get sick of happiness
and i will never complain
that it cost so little
for me to feel so much excitement
i fall back in love with life
feeling as if i never fell out
rather i'm just a lover
suddenly smitten senseless
by the qualities of my lover that i have always admired
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sike-n · 3 years
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acknowledgement
all my friendships are buried in june
right before the heat sets in
and the ground cakes and crumbles
the earth is still soft in june
and my tears helped where nature didn't
but i'm not sad
and i'm not in pain
i gave these dead a neutral burial
i wanted them as close to nature as possible
i wanted them to grow again
maybe not in my life
but to be the big strong tree
others will gather under
and someone will attach a tire swing to a branch
and someone else will bring a picnic basket
and another will softly strum a guitar
and yet another will tell stories
and at night there will be a fire lit
and tents pitched
and the smell of smores filling the air
and there will be laughter and fun and happy days
and i will watch from my window
diamonds glistening in my eyes
nostalgia? no
reminiscing? no
feeling sentimental? no
just acknowledging that something beautiful once existed
and never really ended
because things that matter are never destroyed
just rearranged
reshaped
rebirthed
the same way my life has been changed
by these connections
and yet i exist
and yet i live on
and i will, i will
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sike-n · 3 years
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all my dreams are nightmares
and in them you love me
- and the scary part is i love you too
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sike-n · 3 years
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why do i let love consume me??
loving is you is making me sick i've been vomitting everyday since we met retching you out of me in lyrics and poetry and the stars i see and the words i read and the things i do only to consume your smile your voice your kindness your words your love later on and then i become sick again but love i am trying to abstain i haven't feasted on you in days weeks months yet every morning every midday every night i still throw you up
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