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#blotchedpoems
midnight-love · 3 hours ago
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from the start
you were never mine
not mine to hold, nor mine to lose
So I'll keep these half written love letters 
in a shoebox under my bed
- M.L
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jamesofjess · a day ago
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Seafoam
Everytime he had to get dirty
He always came back bathed
And unscathed
So, no wonder with all the tragedy that he's shown-
that he's learned to be home
in the seafoam
Soothing tombstones of the bay.
So he holds his breath-
And to you, it seems long-
And since he started first
He's gone.
...too sanked to be saved.
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prasannawrites · 2 days ago
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never going to send this to you.
and it’s summer again, your words still linger in the air – i don’t remember what was said, that much was whittled down to a feeling. a part of me relives the moment you left in middle of the night, and the not knowing of what came of you, and it’s constant, like a resonant humming in the background like tinnitus. i know what came of you; it’s stupid but i think about closure all the time, i still can’t wrap my head around why. you don’t need to explain and i stand by that; you finding your own peace is enough, but i'll be lying if i said i don’t think of what could’ve been, like what the years might have turned into if you didn’t leave. and now we exist in some type of limbo – like we crossed a liminal space that we weren’t supposed to. sometimes i wonder what life would’ve been if we weren’t fated to be in each other’s lives. i wonder about that too much, i wonder about you too much. but you’re still around, that’s all i prayed for back then, so i internalize all the what-ifs, and pray that your peace is real now.
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a-quietsoul · 3 days ago
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What do you see in her? [What do you mean?] You look at her in a certain way. Like you’ve never seen her before every time she walks into a room. [I see her the way everyone else sees her.] That’s not true. Everyone sees her the way she wants them to see her. But you – you took a closer look. And she lets you. [Is that such a crime?] Ever heard the story of Icarus? [I won’t burn myself. She wasn’t the sun.] The way you look at her tells me a different story. [And what story is that? Will this story end in tragedy too?] Only time will tell. But from my experience, the way you look at each other means the greatest love or the biggest tragedy of all.
aumirah
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cyruspavels · 4 days ago
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Outta Pocket & Rude
I've been in love with N.Y.C. since the day I can remember.
I recall seeing the Empire State Building from a distance while standing nearby Yankees Stadium.
That stadium was another one of my love affairs, all to itself. I've escaped to it for years. Sometimes by myself. Sometimes with friends and family. It's an affair that may never end.
I could see The Stadium from our bathroom window too. I remember my dad mentioning how everyone went to the roof to watch the games with binoculars, some days and nights.
A short time later, I never saw him again and we moved to Brooklyn. I think for some time I would go to The Stadium just to see if I could feel him. I knew he hung out at the park down the block, a ton. I mean, I can still remember coming home with my mom from long train rides from The City waving hi to him across the street at the that park. He was always there with a paper bag in his hands, hanging out with his friends.
One summer day (now in Brooklyn) we ran up the stairs to the roof of our building, and again, a little older now, I saw the Empire State Building at a distance. (Today I know that it was the feeling of familiarity that drew my to it.) From that day on I was obsessed with getting to it. I felt somehow I would find my dad around there. That maybe if he was looking for me, that's where he would go.
Why not? It's the most famous building in the world and maybe someone around there knew him.
I know this city like most others that love it. I feel its energy shifts and changes and have always embraced them because the changes have been super progressive.
I could feel that shift anywhere. That energy too. It's this New York Hustle energy. Kind of like a spirit that talks fast, but never bullshits.
That energy is back. I saw it this weekend riding thru SoHo and Tribeca. I felt incredible. It honestly felt so beautiful.
Let's keep it to ourselves and enjoy it some before all the posers come back and wash it down again...
Yeah I'm outta pocket and yeah I'm rude. It's my New York Attitude. Don't like it? Fuck You!
“Outta Pocket & Rude" C Y R U S P A V E L
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cyruspavels · 4 days ago
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Speak the Sun ☀️
I told her to speak from places of happiness rather than anger, but she couldn't help herself, so all the rainbows went away.
By nightfall, the clouds had gotten thick again. Covering the entire sky like a dark blanket, the stars and moon were muted for the evening, too.
If only she had listened, The sun would be out And nighttime could never arrive.
And sometimes, It's just that easy. That easy to have a good day; That easy to make things okay.
I asked her not to speak to me from places of jealousy and rage, but she wouldn't listen. And now our destiny Seems ill-fated And out of place, With nowhere left for these souls to glisten.
When you talk to me about tomorrow, Talk to me about progress and sunny days. Otherwise, don't talk to me at all.
I'm okay with talking to a new stranger every single day with some smart shit to say, and for me to learn. I'm good with never discussing the matters of friends or acquaintances, and even enemies. I don't want to get dumber. Feel me?
I'm teaching those that teach back. I may not know much, but the very little that I do understand will be helpful to all.
“Speak the Sun" C Y R U S P A V E L
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cyruspavels · 4 days ago
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Outside Back Open
We are progressing as a species. We are getting better at being good to one another. We are getting stronger at breaking down bullshit barriers invented by madmen's imaginations and traumas.
It's stupid.
Joe Rogan once joked that if the founding fathers of our American Constitution were to come back to life today, they would be shocked to see that nothing has been added into that same constitution, in a world that's completely different today.
Archaic ideas & laws that no longer have any basis for anything these days are still around ruling — providing the guidelines for unprecedented situations.
See the trouble I'm having with finding any logic there? 'Cause if you don't, Then leave this page now. Seriously. You won't understand much on here other than the words that sometimes rhyme.
We are progressing to be better. The data tells us that murders around the world are less and less as the decades truck along.
That's a good thing. No, rather, that's a beautiful thing.
Science, data and knowledge tell us that we are living during the safest times, on the safest stretch of earth during its history. Enjoy it folks. Live out all your dreams.
Let's go!
“Outside Back Open" C Y R U S P A V E L
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chucklinggg · 4 days ago
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Who is more me?
There seems to be a problem, you see
some time ago, I think a part of me 
became split with a serrated edge 
of a blade, and the pieces got thrown
off a skyscrapers’ top floor, into 
the throes of a rampaging storm.
Each of me, now a different thing, 
calls out, bidding something the 
other me will turn its form away from, 
with what I imagine to be puckering lips,
painted in purple vituperation. Ignore it, and 
it will throw a dogged tantrum out of this world;
pinching and pounding and screaming 
just until I get weak and decide to give in,
but then the other you or rather me, gets 
unhappy too, so what is it I am meant to do? 
Who is it I am, which piece is more me?
Who do I placate and who gets to speak?
I command you tell me now because I’ll be 
damned if I knew myself well enough 
to figure this little quandary out, within 
the limits of an appropriate set of time. 
Please be a love, and help 
a desperate soul out? 
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christiancurrypoetry · 5 days ago
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An Unhappy Mommy’s Day
I don’t feel I’ve earned a “happy mothers day” to be honest
In fact, I feel I should be put to death for leaving them
I have my reasons of course
But what does that matter to them?
They’re only kids...they don’t understand
They don’t understand I left for them
I drove 10 hours away to save them
I needed to better myself to be the mommy they think I am
The mommy I’ve always pretended to be
Happy and “okay”
Truth is I’m not okay
So I thought I could find myself by moving away
Distance doesn’t change a thing
I miss them so fucking much
I’m autistic; I don’t like people much, yet they’re my favorite human beings
Honestly
What the hell is wrong with me?
Yes, I’ve always struggled with depression and anxiety
But that’s not on them
That’s only on me
I didn’t ask for it
But a lot of us didn’t ASK for a lot of things
Am I wrong?
In some ways...it feels so
I only know I love them more than anything else in this world 
And I just can’t let go
I just need them to know
I always wanted them both...
Happy mothers day 
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error-ink-detected · 5 days ago
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The Wars We Fight In Our Names
Here’s the thing:
I tried planting a seed
Embedded it in fresh soil and watered it with patience and good-will
But it never quite came to fruition
It was never quite enough, somehow
So here’s my plan B:
To drill a hole into my skull and scream
Loud and obnoxious, until my lungs corrode and my ears tear in half
Until I can’t deny the existence of it all anymore
I want to yell kindness and bruise compassion
I want to cry happiness and choke on contentment
Want to rip open my chest with the feeling of finally being enough
I may look gentle,
But no-one gentle goes so viciously to war with themselves
No-one gentle self-sabotages with such a twisted delight of finally proving what everyone denied:
that you’re falling apart
C  r  u  m  b  l  i  n  g
I want to imprison all the kindness into my head
Until it knocks against my skull like a steady clockwork-cacophony
Every smile and compliment, every touch and every action that yelled: “you are enough!”
And I was too busy drowning out the bad to notice the good
Whoever said self-love isn’t violent?
You eradicate whatever you had constructed so you don’t have to build from a rotten foundation
Even if you feel that the worms would be good company and the soil looks warm, like a hug perhaps
You destroy
To build
To prevail
To live, perhaps, one day
If I have to split myself open for a garden to bloom in-between my ribs
Maybe I will do that
This is all a process
Of growth and destruction
When did I ever un-learn to love myself?
When will I ever un-learn to un-love myself?
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chucklinggg · 5 days ago
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The amnesiac brain
driven by instinct 
slave to the wirings of
primitive mind,
wrinkled and folded,
sensitive
to the bellows of fight or flight
day and night,
glass screens, call out
velvet promises
of not missing out, entice
drawing the body, like a moth, 
to the gleaming light
mouth pressed firm,
decision made 
take a chance
tall and bold, venture out
doubting whispers, ignore
a fresh start
quivering of bones
in the depths of,
fright, pale ghost
from bad to worse,
a lake of wrong
run out
amnesiac brain
it’s always the same
the sweet words, 
majestic lies,
hope makes
blind fools, every time
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chucklinggg · 6 days ago
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First impressions
Beautiful,
with a hint of
swagger, full lips
complete with a square 
shadowed jaw. At first,
I found you charming,
quite pleasant, and 
your smile, flirtatious 
No wonder then
you set my heart aflutter;
I liked the feeling
It made the hours crawl faster.
The longer I knew you,
the more I heard
an avalanche of words
brazen and cold, flooding 
out, dimming my want 
to like you, 
The daydreams 
became purer, more 
delightful, trumping
the real you
and I knew the fickle lust
would never become more,
you were just not nice
A hardened exterior, 
the insides, full
of ice.
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sincerelysharon · 6 days ago
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It almost doesn’t seem enough to say that I’m scared, that I’m afraid. Fear is not enough to describe what I’m feeling. It’s too bespoke, singular, confined. What I feel is pulsating, in motion, constant, like a swarm of bees in flight or birds during the great migration. How fitting. It doesn’t help when nostalgia buys property next to this feeling. She makes things irreparably harder. Soft warmed streets of my childhood, freshly cut grass, bike rides in summer, having a map of memories cut as deep as the worn lines on my palm. Each house a cornerstone, each monument a memory, each building an anchoring point to knowing and belonging in this place. Yet, unsurprisingly or perhaps surprisingly, whilst I’m in flux so does become the infrastructure, so does the streets that line my memories. Houses get torn down, changed, renovated, stripped empty and now only existing as dirt and empty columns. Shops close down, put up their 50% off closing down sales, new shops open. Restaurants upgrade, downgrade, change management, become anew with revised menus, interior decorations, technological advancements. It only makes sense that once change becomes embroiled in the blood that it begins to take shape around you, pulling strings, shaking down sunlit streets, settling permanently in the bloodstream. I’m fucking terrified. This is the most adept word I’ve come across as of late, this kind of nauseous, anxious, fizzing feeling. But as the birds get ready for the great migration, as things change right in front of me, the past, present and future have a good taste of me. And with a line of birds perched at the ready, wings spread out, the sky blooms orange, I too fall into the expanse.
the great migration and all it’s feelings // s.g.
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cyruspavels · 8 days ago
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Grounded Wings
If I never wrote about you Then I never loved you And we never happened.
It's not so difficult to understand now, Is it?
The idea is: We date and date and date To figure out all the shit we don't like in partners and the shit we could do without, or compromise with.
And that's what I did. Obviously you weren't it.
What more is there to know? “Grounded Wings" C Y R U S P A V E L
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thesilentgazer · 12 days ago
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I'm here. Can you see me? My hand is by my side, right next to yours. Do you hear the wind above us? Would you stop crying?The world does not deserve your tears, it is too small for them. Does your favourite song still make you cry? Or did you forget what it was? Do you remember your first kiss? Give me all the memories you want to throw away. I'm here. Can you see me?
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christiancurrypoetry · 12 days ago
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Stop by my stream sometime! I plan to stream later today. (I’m trying to make up a steady schedule) It’s a place anyone is welcome to and will be accepted. We laugh a lot. I want my stream to be entertaining but also a place of comfort and a place people know they can talk without judgement. Only love. 🖤
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