#blah okay

[tintedglasses]

i had a talk with my advisor about the plan b if i can’t finish my dissertation proposal on time and i was feeling okay about that, and had come up with a plan that would put me on the best path to be able to maybe finish it anyways and was excited to make progress today but then i got hit with a random bit of insomnia (which hardly ever happens for me) and was up until 5 this morning and woke up at 9 and now i just feel so drained and like hopeless about it all because how am i supposed to do this feat that would be nearly impossible in the best of times if my body and brain continue to refuse to cooperate with me. i feel angry at myself for not being able to do it and i feel trapped in my stupid brain prison where everything is screaming at me to just do the work but i’m just missing some sort of connection that will snap me into action and actually let me do it rather than sitting around paralyzed by the demands.

#will probably delete #but it just feels like I have this gross oily sludge inside of me #and I can’t get it out #and I’m doing my reframing #and trying to replace I can’t with I’m having difficulty doing x #but it also just feels good to feel angry sometimes #to let myself feel angry about how hard it is for me #when it doesn’t seem like my friends are having the same difficulty #although maybe they are #who knows #and it wouldn’t be the worst to stay an extra year I guess #but I’m just so angry that the timeline has worked out the way it does #and whether I have to stay in 2024-2025 is determined in October of 2023 #blah okay #I’m going to have a coke and hope it fixes my brain enough to do some tasks at least #thank god I have therapy later

[teethkid67]

PAYDAY

aka a valentine for the lovely @itsnotmystic / @corvids-calling - fanart for stars fic of the same name, which you can read here !!! i really enjoyed this concept and wanted to do some art for it :3 hope you like it because i REALLY loved your work & i hope this shows that !!! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY !!!!

this is also a loose love-letter to the wonderful @arginnit 's crazy background-drawing-ability and style/skill at portraying environments . wadds your stuff is insane and i love it

happy @mcyt-valentines exchange !!!!

#mcyt-valentines #things i make #c!wilbur #wilbur soot #wilbur soot fanart #dsmp wilbur #blah blah blah WHO CARES. I LOVE YOUR WRITING #i read your little um um superhero slash las nevadas Theft fic as well it was so fun :3 #AND I okay maybe this is creepy idk i backscrolled ur blog to hell and back lmfao #UR PAINTING OF TECHNOS CABIN IS SO SWEET AND CALM AND PRETTY i was originally going to do something with ctechno but the art just wouldnt c #come to me #i did get one (1) ctechno design/doodle out of it though its my most recent post before this one in my things i make tag #idk i hope youre having a good day you seem super cool and. ya #AND TO WADDS. idk i love your art so much . i think about some of your pieces literally all the time #your um. backrooms drawing with tommy & charlie & ranboo i love the warped perspective i tried to reflect that in this #your painting style anddddd yeah. your composition your everything its so good #happy valentines dayyyy

[suntails]

fallen

#KICKS OPEN THE DOOR. HIIIIIII IM BAAAAAACK. TWIRLS MY HAIR AND STARES UNBLINKINGLY AT U #okay so long story short i need to speedrun if i wanna draw ANY lore art this time #bc i go to NY w no computer for 2 weeks on thurs and i wont have nrainrot anymore after. so i need to draw FAST things #so yea. she um. she. died. sniffles. ngl i thought she was already dead from the prev update so this STUNG #the fuckign GRIEF the way lilia collapses down in mourning her loss. she falls to the humans. i am SICK it HURTS #silver was so devastated in 7.5 without even seeing the death firsthand and being like 'how could i ever be loved' #lilia looking at malleus. the future of the kingdom. the treasure of his two closest friends (loves?) #and is like 'how can i ever love him enough' and proceeds to spend A FIFTH OF HIS LIFE SEARCHING FOR A SOLUTION #dealing w prejudice from humans. kicked out of the army Disgraced. all while mourning. he keeps going out of LOVE #twst #twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #malleus draconia #hes an egg he counts #ch 7 spoilers #so yea blah blah blah im not as eloquent as u geniuses i will just draw a silly little dramatic art to capture my misery and move forward #suntails

[manchesterau]

dates with dan and phil

#mine #i swear i SWEAR in a video they're gonna causally be like 'hah so this weekend we went on one of our date nights and blah blah' #LIKE I CAN FEEL IT HAPPNEING OKAY OKAY #they're so sickening actually #phan #dan and phil #LISTEN LISTEN TO MEEE

[nicepersondisorder]

the

#okay i usually draw better. i dunno why drawing feels weird rn 😭 #ummm anyway probably expect more hazbin hotel art from me because i am completely bonkers #☆.txt #☆.png #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar #<- can i use that tag. can i. c #hazbin lucifer #hazbin fanart #digital art #also ignore the watermark i'll probably come up with something slightly different later. shrug emoji #🍎 #well at least shading is turned out pretty good. can't say the same about anatomy 😭 #ummm what else do i put in tags. blah blah blah kills him with hammers

[sunnfish]

[ID: A digital illustration of Sissel from Ghost Trick. He is shown from a lower angle, as if the viewer were looking up at him. He has a hand close to the viewer and clutching a glowing soul core. His other hand is in his pocket, and he has a serious expression on his face. The background is the clock that appears when you time travel in the game, consisting of a glowing red clock face and glowing red lines radiating from it on a black background. The art style mimics that of the game’s, with sharp black lines and shading. The color palette is mostly red, with some light blue radiating from the soul. The artist’s signature “sunnfish 2023” is written on his leg. /End ID]

Change your fate.

#ignore me drawing in a thousand different styles lately. #i simply do what the brain images tell me #anyways. hiiiiiii play ghost trick. now #sunnfish.pdf #my art #also if you havent played the game dont read the tags from now on. im warning you #blah #blah blah blah #ghost trick #dont read further #blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah #blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #spoilers be here #not super bad but I think it’d ruin your experience #okay not ruin. but it might ruin the twist a little. there should be a less extreme word for ruin #final warning #sissel #yomiel #hell of a time writing the description. not sure of the etiquette of spoilery character names #blocking off the end now just in case. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah #blah blah blah blah blah blah #blah blah blah blah blah #blah blah #lalallal la la la la dee da la la lalala #sorry I’m really cautious .. I simply think the blind experience was so good and I don’t wanna risk anything yknow #okay bye. peace and love on planet ghost trick #ghost trick phantom detective

[jordblod]

!! crucial !! piece of hilson lore confirmed - they're fucking LOSERS honestly? so affirming to me. this isn't news i know but to get this explicit piece of interaction about being a lonely child and now being weird adults who don't know how to make friends or have "normal" conversations or connections like this is the shit i eat for breakfast, especially accompanied with the complete and utter sense of surrender to this fact that wilson displays. there's absolutely no reason whatsoever for him to defend himself or act as if what house is saying isn't true bc it is and they both know it and knows the other knows it even if they've never actually talked about this once which is very likely but they know cause they're the same and they only have each other and and and

#they're so lame #hilson #hatecrimes md #to be clear i do think they had pretty different childhoods in many ways #but very early on feeling alone and different and/or misunderstood is the common thread running through both of their experiences #they almost definitely handled it very differently but just ended up on the same miserable bastard boat in the end #and no one can save them except each other. but they're actually unsaveable. and the only way for that to be okay is through each other #blahdi blahdi blah they're doomed either way but they need each other to cope blahdiblah fucked up losers solidarity #they're the worst<333 they would've bullied each other if they knew each other as kids. in fact the bully each other now aghjdfkdsfs #also honestly. wilsons response to house reading him to shreds being to play along and make a dry joke?? very cunty. love him to bits #house md #james wilson #gregory house #hmd #mypost

[ticklepinions]

No because I'm such a jealous ler. You want me to use tools??? Is my body not enough for you???? You think a feather can tickle you more than I could????? Well butter me up and call me a biscuit. No the fuck it can't. Why would you deny me skin to skin time? Hater.

#twordpinion #tword community #tickle community #ticklepinion #tword content #tickling #hot take i know #i just like physical touch okay #blah blah blah treat tools as extensions of yourself- SHUT UP #i know what I want

[evankinard]

hear me out kitchen scene is literally going to be eddie going over to buck's to let him know him and marisol broke up and hes going to be like lmao guess we're both single now still want to go go karting 🤪🥰🥳!! and bucks going to be like... about that...

@chronicowboy and I were literally discussing this exact scenario a week ago (minus eddisol break up lmao) but legitimately. legitimately I think there is a very very high chance of this happening. specifically a callback to the go karting and eddie trying to make time for buck only for buck to be like oh. I actually have plans. with tommy. and coming out to eddie

#do yall actually remember me saying i was getting the strongest urge to figure out how to write a fic cause i had a very specific scenario #in mind #it was literally this lmao #it was before we knew the kitchen scene stills were from 705 so i actually thought buck would apologize to tommy before the end of the #episode and tommy would ask him to dinner (NO chin grabbing in my scenario they were leaving room for jesus) #and then eddie would come over and be like okay talk to me. and when buck admits he's felt sidelined and jealous he would apologize and try #to make up for it with the go karting rain check #and then buck says he has a date with tommy blah blah blah #sorry i blacked out remembering how different everything is from last week and how it somehow turned out to equal the most delusional spec #we could ever make #crazy. Crazy #911 spoilers #weewoo brainrot

[sleepis4theweak]

So uh... mutant mayhem am I right?

#/pos #/so much pos #I loved it #I also wore turtle earrings to it hehe #technically spoilers but not enough context to actually be spoilers... so I won't tag it as such :) #mutant mayhem #blah blah blah #okay no wait there are spoilers in the responses #mutant mayhem spoilers #sleepy art

[firefox-official]

favorite musical?

little shop of horrors groundhog day catch me if you can legally blonde tgwdlm school of rock cats reefer madness

#to the guy in the notes talking about falsettos Do not cite the magic to me blah blah blah #summer 2020 was only falsettos for me. Okay

[vampirejuno]

Fucked up having a goofy ass romantic nature when you're not in a relationship or even have a crush on anyone specific. You'll be sitting there thinking "oooh I wish I had someone to kiss and take on gayass dates and dedicate my soul to" with complete sincerity like some kinda 18th century nerd who courts ladies just so he can have someone to write poems for. I have all this love in me and nowhere to put it, what a fuckin waste dude. You were right Freddie find me somebody to love

#and dont tell me love doesnt have to be romantic blah blah i know all that. #i have plenty of things and ppl to love platonically i want someone to be *in love* with. #to me these are not interchangeable or substitutable and i miss having both ok #like. i do appreciate friendship and family and the beauty of the world‚ finding love and joy in all the small things. truly i do #but ppl keep listing all that when I say i miss being in love and like. thats not the same at all. how is one supposed to replace the other #i know its ✨okay✨ to not have a romantic relationship and its ✨okay✨ to focus on other things in life. #i can know its ok not to have something and still want it tho yknow. ugh #anyway.

[statementlou]

So I see folks pointing out that Louis' circle A tattoo is more likely an aesthetic choice than an announcement of a political commitment to anarchism, and saying basically that that maybe makes him a bit of a poser and I mean- I GUESS. But I don't like to look at things that way and I don't think it's useful. As I see it the subversive sexiness of the symbols of resistance have ALWAYS been gateways for people who are drawn to the struggle in vague ways and that's GOOD. Aligning yourself with those values is good no matter the reason, in my book, especially given the wretched options available out there, but also the journey doesn't necessarily stop there. Gatekeeping queerness victimizes people who are just trying things out and starting to discover that it may run deeper than just trying on a new look who should instead be welcomed and helped along their path, and I fail to see how gatekeeping political affiliations is any different (plus how counterproductive to actual movement building is that?)

ANYWAY. What I really want to say about Louis is that while I KNOW that Louis is probably not secretly a theory reading anti-state communalist anarchist, I think that actually Louis' optimism and idealism (and his unwavering commitment to allying himself with the working class and embracing those roots) are a perfect fit for the philosophy and always have been. I know that anarchism is mostly understood as being about throwing molotov cocktails and fighting the state (and the allure of its symbols are that they signify this, a terrific aesthetic for him to choose to sign on with in my book), but that's honestly largely cartoonish stereotyping that comes directly from anti-anarchist state propaganda. That resistance is necessary in this hellscape of oppression we live in and is super important, but in its heart anarchism is only about the state in that the state and capitalism currently stands in the way of its goals. The whole point of anarchism is that it's NOT about the state! It's about being able to imagine something better than a state, it's about how we live and about how we SHOULD live, it's about HOPE and picturing something utopian and something free of the ways capitalism pits us against one another! What could be more Louis than that?

"I need you and you need me and I love that" is as beautiful a way of talking about the cornerstone of anarchism that is mutual aid as any long winded essay I've read (even if what he meant was contextually different), and I think when he talks again and again about how special the space fans have made around him is he is expressing an intuitive understanding of the importance of autonomous zones, places and moments outside of the shitty life imposed on us by the system (also a huge part of anarchist thought). Maybe I'm just being an optimist but I think that Louis DOES understand that caring for people and wanting self-determination and freedom for all and allying himself with the working class involves a certain amount of resistance to and positioning yourself in opposition to the state. Thinking the symbols of smashing that state are cool isn't meaningless; it's a CHOICE. There are other cool symbols out there and I just happen to think that feeling a resonance with certain ones is something in and of itself, even if at this moment he does not choose to start a fight with the media about it all.

#long version of this part maybe later… (orrr maybe here and now oops lol): #I believe we are all born natural anarchists with a desire to live in mutually supportive ways and in freedom #it only gets beaten out of people by the trauma of the system and being forced to struggle to survive #Louis shares with many privileged people a certain immaturity of not understanding those struggles #but I think that 'immaturity' can include- in smart and good people- not having lost sight of that utopianism #because they are able to conceptualize it because they live the way we all should be able to #free of so many of the survival struggles #(I think that in some areas maturity is code for 'beaten down to a good capitalist') #anyway and that's why autonomous zones are important: #because you HAVE to have the experience of freedom sometimes to be able to move towards it #you have to experience wins to be able to keep fighting #it's the candy crush theory of organizing lol like: people will simply give up and lose hope if everything is struggle and despair #and nothing is hope and success #you don't have to win the whole fight to get glimpses but you have to have moments #anyway a song I love that is about that is Saturday Night by the Coup it's a BOP go check her out she feels like winning #boots is a commie but that's okay he Gets It :P #anyway #anarchism #blah blah blah #I love being a louis apologist I should add that to my header what can I say: I love him #also look how many WORDS I can churn out when there's no show😂gotta fil the time somehow #send me questions I beg you we've got a long couple months ahead #comrade louis

[sisaloofafump]

“Ashton was manipulative and that’s bad”, “Ashton was good and not manipulative”. Have you considered “Ashton was kinda manipulative and that’s pretty cool”? They’re allowed to have a bad, selfish action/trait (if that’s how you see it), just as long as the actors are okay. You don’t have to twist a character flaw into something completely justified and morally right, it can just be a flaw.

#like I think what he did was manipulative to an extent and done with the right intentions and blah blah blah #but even if it was a horrible thing to do?? that’s like #that’s okay #as long as the actors are fine #critical role #cr spoilers #ashton greymoore

[loptrcoptr]

toooldforthis.jpg

#it’s wild out there yall #and exhausting like?? who has the energy to take part in that kind of vibe #I am Old okay I don’t do ship wars I don’t care what you ship blah blah love your best life #blue eye samurai #I just want to vibe in my corner and write my nonsense and stay in my lane #and I want everyone else to be able to vibe in their corners and write or draw or what have you and stay in their lane #this used to not be difficult in fandom but for this one somehow it is lol! #taimizu #we are a leper colony because *checks notes* bisexuality bad dick bad man bad transmasc bad #right. gotcha. that’s dumb as shit but ok I’ll be over here hiding then.

[bewilderedbuck]

still not over canon sub!ben with a degradation kink btw. i mean it's been obvious since day 1 like dude might as well have been wearing a shirt that says "HUMILIATE ME" on it whenever he's around devi but like. the fact that they confirmed it delights me

#'it's just a dream blah blah blah' okay and. he doesn't seem very disappointed in that dream. dudes grinning from ear to ear when she says- #- 'you know you like it better that way' #ben gross #benvi #nhie #spencer's nhie s4 rewatch #s.txt