#bi oriented aroace

[make-space-for-as]

Anyone else with this aroace experience?

I know the aroace community is not a monolith. I know we all have very diverse experiences. But I was thinking about how so many aroace folks had the "I think I'm bi or pan" moment because they felt the same/nothing for all genders.

I had the "I think I'm bi" moment too. But for me it was because I DID feel something for different genders. I felt incredibly strong tertiary attraction to boys and girls (this was 10 years ago and I was queer-sheltered so I had yet to meet an out nonbinary person), and bi felt like the right descriptor. I didn't have to "fake" crushes like so many aroaces. I just confused my squishes for crushes and blended in.

Even after I realized I'm aromantic asexual, bi still feels part of my identity. I relate to a lot of the bi experience. I feel strongly for several different genders, but I'm attracted to them differently. The way I'm attracted to guys is totally different than how I'm attracted to girls and nonbinary folks.

This is why the term "bi-oriented aroace" means so much to me. It describes my experiences with tertiary attraction perfectly.

#aroace #aromantic asexual #asexuality #aromanticism #aro #ace #aspec #aspec community #bi oriented aroace #bi #oriented aroace #asexual #aromantic

[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

Hey don't mean anything bad by this but I assume your Muslim from your pfp, but you also give queer vibes. My gaydar broken?

Nope.

I'm a queer Muslim!

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #my post #my asks #queer poc #queer muslim #queer community #queer #lgbtq #religious queer #lgbt muslim #genderfluid #bi oriented #bi oriented aroace

[super-ace]

I’ve been toying with the idea that I’m bi or pan oriented aroace. I’ve always known I experience aesthetic attraction - it’s how it took me so long to realise I’m asexual because I was confusing it with sexual attraction. I know it’s to multiple genders but also I don’t think gender really matters because I don’t want anything to come of this attraction, I just appreciate that people are pretty. It doesn’t really seem to be people I know in my life though, usually just celebrities. I’ve been reading the definition online and it always says ‘significant tertiary attraction’ and the word ‘significant’ is confusing to me because that is a subjective word. Any oriented aroaces relate?

#asexual #ace #asexuality #asexual spectrum #aroace #aromantic #aro #queer #lgbtqia+ #oriented aroace #bi oriented aroace #pan oriented aroace #bi ace #pan ace

[shk0lstun-flagz]

Man-Pref Bi

For any bi oriented person who have an attraction preference for men

….

Woman-Pref Bi

For any bi oriented person who have an attraction preference for women

….

Masc-Pref Bi

For any bi oriented person who have an attraction preference for anyone who is masculine or present’s masculine

….

Fem-Pref Bi

For any bi oriented person who have an attraction preference for anyone who is feminine or presents feminine

….

Edit : sorry for portraying the stereotypical blue equal masc, and fem equals pink thing on these. The original bi flags meanings aren’t defined like that (bi flag meaning) , I was already aware of the meanings as I made these but I had the intention of these flags having separate meanings, different from the original I didn’t really think too hard on the colors tbh I just really wanted to stick to the same aesthetic of the bi flag but with these versions having symbols on them too show an attraction preference.

#bi #bisexual flag #bi allo #bisexual #biromantic #bi oriented aroace #bi ace #bi aro #queer flag #lgbt flags #pride flag #bi women #bi men #bi enby

[aroaceconfessions]

i got called homophobic because i said "i actually don't like shipping discourse, i hate how people only talk about ships of this media instead of the media itself" because "WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY HATE WHEN PEOPLE SHIP THEY ALWAYS IMPLY WLW/MLM SHIPS ONLY you're homophobic" am i homophobic? the funniest thing about this is the fact that i am actually bi-oriented aroace

#shipping discourse #fandom discourse #shipping #fandom #amatonormativity #aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #aroacespec #arose #oriented aroace #bi aroace #bi oriented aroace #bi #invalidation

[ftm-radio]

"being gay is not a choice" for you. I'm different tho. being gay is a choice and the answer is always yes. 💅🏻

(I'm aroace & this is mostly a joke)

#dont mind me im just reveling in how my newfound aroace identity makes me feel even more fuckin queer and i love it #having no romantic/sexual attraction to influence me means that any queerness i may take part in is 100% intentional & i love that for me #honestly might be vibing with being a bi-oriented aroace?? bc if i chose to be in a romantic relationship or w/e one day #it would be w/ any gender. and im nonbinary so itd be gay all around lmao <3 #ftm radio #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aspec #ace #aro #aroace memes #aromantic memes #asexual memes #oriented aroace #bi oriented aroace #aroace spectrum

[hyperbolic-havoc]

i'm just freaking out because idk if im biromantic asexual or bi-oriented aroace and like, i can't really tell the difference between romantic attraction and aesthetic attraction and i'm just-

aaaaaaa

#bisexual #biromantic #bi oriented aroace #aroace #aromantic #asexual #help lol #idkk

[lighthousegod]

Something abt being on the aro-spectrum that I havent seen a lot is talk about feelings of jealousy.

I am a jealous person, and I'm only figuring that out as an adult. I was jealous as a kid, too, but I never thought of it in a way besides platonic. Eventually I stopped having best friends so I stopped being as jealous and bitter when my friends hung out with other people more than me.

Even though I knew I had a tendency to get jealous of others when I had a "best friendship," I never considered myself fo be jealous in a romantic context. Any time anyone would get angry when their partners talked to someone, especially straight couples who's members talked to the opposite gender, I would get confused. Like, you're officially in a relationship, right? Why would your partner agree to that if they wanted to be with some other person?

But as I got older, I understood more. I had one "crush" in my highschool years, and when he flirted with or dated other people I HATED MY LIFE it felt so gross. I always felt like I needed to change, or that I wasnt as desirable, and I needed to try harder. He did end up liking me back, but nothing ever came of it. The euphoria of him liking me back lasted maybe a night, and then it was gone. And it left a pit in my stomach. The worst feeling in the world, feeling disgust toward a thing that had made me feel alive for the first time in my life.

But, nonetheless, in all that drama I discovered that I WOULD probably get jealous if I had a partner, just because of how much I overthink. And i think that's where i sort of differ from a lot of arospec people? See, i dont want a romantic relationship necessarily. I dont need to do all the sappy shit like buying flowers and calling each other babe, or even going on dates really. But I do want something adjacent to that. I dont hate the idea of touching, even though I sort of have a phobia to that, but I DO hate it if I think about it romantically. I love the idea of holding hands in this sort of nostalgic way, like how I used to with my parents when I was a kid. I dont mind the idea of someone playing with my hair the way people used to when it was long, like they admired it so much they had to run their fingers through it. Hugging doesnt sound so bad when it's done in that protective, grounded way. Like hugging someone after a long day, or early in the morning. Just standing there like that. Even kissing sounds okay sometimes, if I dont think about it too hard. I'm sure it feels good. I'm sure being that close, that intimate with someone, would make me feel good. A combination of being comfortable and still feeling that rush of emotion. That sounds like a dream. That sounds fake. It makes me sad to think I may never experience that.

But then, I can think about the same things in a romantic way and I immediately want to turn and run. Holding hands in the way couples hold hands is so weird. I've never held a boys hand before. When I hold my friends hands, it feels awkward. I can hold my father's hand, I guess, but his hands are so calloused that they barely feel like hands. When I hold my father's hand now, I feel almost nothing at all. Thinking of someone playing with my hair like, say, a husband would do for his wife, or vice versa, or wife for wife or husband for husband or partner for partner, any combination-- it feels wrong. It's too sweet. Like, sickly sweet. The way they smile up at each other. It just feels so empty. Like whatever they're feeling just doesnt exist for me. Theres a void there, I think, where that feeling is supposed to be in my head. Hugs and kisses dont feel right from the couples in the movies. I much prefer the ones between close friends that I WANT to be the main couple, i guess. Like, take stranger things for an example. I love steve and eddie, and if they hugged, even platonically, I think I'd lose my shit. I wouldnt care much for a romantic hug between steve and nancy, but I dont really feel much for the platonic ones between steve and robin either. So, for some reason I like this weird in between? But that's not the point. Back to the matter at hand.

All that stuff I mentioned before, about how I can like all this stuff in a weird, alterous way as opposed to platonic or romantic or familial, one thing stays constant: I dont want whoever's doing it to do the same with other people. I DO want to be Their Person, and I want them to be Mine. Not in a possessive way, that's weird, but yknow. I want to want to be around them. I want them to want to be around me, too. And I want to like each other the most.

Lots of aromantic people talk about how they dont understand why friendships arent held to the same standard as romantic relationships, and trust me, I have been there, but I definitely am not exempt from that sort of "ranking." I have people that claim we are best friends, or really close, but I just dont bond with them the same way they do to me. It doesnt click. I like them platonically, I like to be around them, but I'm not attracted to them. Not like I was to my "crush" in high school, or like I am to all the pretty boy characters i think about in my head, or even my best friends from elementary school. Nothing my friends and I do is special to us. We arent exclusive to each other. And to some people, that doesnt matter one bit, but not me. I guess I'm selfish, but man, I wanna be someone's favorite. I want someone to like me the most. Even though I dont know how to kiss and might not even want to, and my personalities not that big, and sometimes I dont have much to say at all, and sometimes more than anything I just need someone to make me feel like I'm not floating through life without making a connection at all.

But that's such a big job. I worry I'm not worth the work. I'm not sure I would be able to work that much for someone else, so it wouldn't be fair. It would be so imbalanced, like I was taking advantage of them or something. I can't do that.

Nonetheless, the best analogy I can think of is beds. Not having sex in beds, just literally sleeping in them. Some aro people want their own bed in their own house. Some want to share a house AND a bed, with one person or with a whole group. But me? I'd like to live with friends AND my person. The best friend, or the partner, or whatever they are to me. And I want my own bed, but if I ever have any troubles sleeping, or they do, I want each others rooms to be the first we go to. I want to love someone so much that I choose them to ground me every time. How amazing would that be? To not have each other, but still be connected. To have some in between, "other" sort of love that does is not just built on trust, but IS trust. Trust that you are wanted, you are welcome, and you are special. Being something more than friends, more than lovers. Helping each other be whole on their own. Knowing they love you not because you're friends, not because you're partners, not because you're family, not because of anything. They just do.

I do want love. I really, really do. I want love the way I love the ocean, and the way I love music. I want to be loved that way. The attraction to the beach that humans have had for centuries. The tendency to make tunes out of nothing, to hum just to hear the sounds. Even if the ocean is dangerous. Even if the song is off-key. I want love that is instinctual, that is unexplainable. I want love that has no reason. No words to explain it. I want the love that existed before we had the word for it. Before there were friends and lovers, there were just companions. Two people who chose each other. And they may have not been able to speak the word love, but I'm sure it was stronger than what we have now. I'm sure, if you sit still, you can still hear it.

#aromantic Achillean #oriented aroace #bi oriented aroace #aromantic #asexual #alterous attraction

[beetleohbeetle]

I’m bi oriented aroace and I’m just feeling particularly so today!!

This is also my coming out post

#oriented aroace #bi oriented aroace #oriented aromantic asexual #queer community #lgbtq+ #lgbtq positivity #bisexual

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Okay so Ik I’m ace and sorry for this long thing. Im pretty sure I’m Aro but like I remember having a childhood crush and a few other feelings towards people that weren’t platonic. I think it is alterious attraction.

Most people that are Aro talk about how they have never had any crush’s but I have. I haven’t been in any relationships or had my first kiss (I’m only 18) I thought that was just because my friend group didn’t hang out much and I went to an all girls school ( I did experience some form of alterous attraction to at least one friend that ik of ) .

I have always thought about being in a relationship like shown in all the romance movies and dream of having that kinda love but also on real life feel awkward about it. But like never really liked the idea of dating and found that weird and also kinda grossed out by kissing. I say that I’m Aro spec as I feel a mix of Demi, grey and cupio romantic all apply. I think I experience such strong alterious attraction that it may seem romantic yet my crush don’t effect my like how society says crush’s make people or the way recent friends have described them to me. And also all the things I would want to in a relationship are not strictly romantic as it’s more just intertwining fingers and curling up on a couch watching movies and travelling the world together.

It’s like I’m Aro but also sometimes feel by saying that I am closing myself up to the idea of any relationships in the future or I might not be Aro and just weird. Idk. I don’t know what I would do if someone asked me out and I only really like the idea of relationships from far away. I don’t know what the standard amount of crush’s allo people have. I feel like all I really want is a partner is life.

Sorry for the long rant and all the bad grammar and if this is annoying. I’m also scared this response may say I’m not actually Aro and I will feel like I have been lying to people by saying I’m not. I’m just kinda confused but I feel like I’m like a Bi- oriented aroace

howdy! mod amaranth here

all these doubts are completely valid! don't worry, this ask isn't annoying, and i can see that this has clearly been bothering you.

the rule of thumb is is that if you think you're aro, you're aro! if you think you're bi oriented aroace, then you are! and if it turns out you aren't, then that's okay too, because now you've learned something about yourself. you're not hurting anyone by exploring your identity and trying on different labels.

there are so many different ways to be aro, and you are absolutely not closing yourself up to opportunities by identifying as such. aromantic is defined as the lack of, or no attraction. in fact, aro is an umbrella term for the whole spectrum! attraction does not equal action, and if you want a relationship, then don't let your orientation stop you.

on that note, if you haven't already, i'd urge you to take a look into queerplatonic relationships! they're relationships with the same commitment as a romantic relationship, but lack the actual romantic feelings. i think that that could be something you might be looking for. of course, if it's the commitment part of dating you don't like, you can always try finding someone who is willing to do the things you want to do with them (such as a friend, or another member of the aspec community).

i hope this helps, anon, and good luck in your future endeavors <3

#questioning ask #mod amaranth #bi oriented aroace #aromantic #asexual #queerplatonic relationship #alterous attraction #lgbtqia+ #queer

[rolaplayor101]

And he would. He absolutely would.

Redbubble, Commissions open, DNI proshippers/antiantis/queerphobes/etc in About Me, sharpened his teeth and everything @local-aro-cryptid

#Rolaplayart #aromantic #asexual #asexuality #aspec #kh sora #kh3 sora #kingdom hearts sora #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #KH3 #oriented aroace #bi oriented aroace #aromantic positivity #aromantic pride #aromantic memes #aro pride #asexual pride #ace memes #asexual positivity #👀 @ kh fandom-- also i can never draw his hair the same way when i draw Sora huh

[seven-oomen]

being a bi orientated aroace dude is so weird sometimes

like I can look at people, fictional or real, and think; you are objectively and aesthetically a very attractive person

I don't want to do anything with you except maybe look at you and smile, but that's kinda it?

And every time I was dating someone or had sex I just kinda wondered like; is this it? Am I supposed to be feeling something? (Aside from affection for the other person)

But like, is this the big deal? What am I supposed to be feeling?

And it's just super confusing because I LOVE love

I love reading and watching romance stories so much I write them

Same with stories with sex in them, like they are entertaining sure

But then I the thought comes back up of; maybe I -

followed by a; NO nonononono

It's just so confusing, you know?

#bi #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aromantic asexual #bi oriented aroace #lgbtq #ben says stuff

[slightlyreanimatedchaos]

I think about this a lot. I want to be in a relationship that is very romantic but I also feel like I would view it as not romantic and maybe even ironic. Not for a lack of attraction (of any kind), but bc the way I view romantic activities and platonic activities overlap and intertwine in a way that “levels (of attraction)” don’t exist.

#qpr positivity #qpr tag #lgbtq #autistic #actually autistic #autistic experiences #queerplatonic relationship #queer #aroace #bi oriented aroace #aromanitc #asexual

[blole-hack]

Alternate:

individual images below the cut

Singular ones:

when you're aro

when you're bi

when you're bi and aro

alternates here:

alt. when you're aro

alt. when you're bi and aro

#aroallo #aroace #biaroace #bisexuality #biromanticism #bisexual aromantic #angled aroace #oriented aroace #bi angled aroace #bi oriented aroace #bi aro allo #bi and aro solidarity #tagging aroace as well because some aros could be like #Varioriented aroace #or whats that thing called when you're angled but only towards one side #demiromantic #arospec #aspec #demian #grayromantic #demisexual #aroflux #maybe i should draw one version with a limp wrist instead #but maybe some other time #aromantic #bisexual finger guns

[shk0lstun-flagz]

Bi-Juvelic Flags

….

Bi-Achillean

- For any bi oriented achilleans that want to emphasize their achillean attraction : mlm (or nbymlm)

….

Bi-Sapphic

- For any bi oriented sapphics that want to emphasize their sapphic attraction : wlw (or nbywlw)

….

Bi-Romeric

- For any bi oriented romerics that want to emphasize their romeric attraction : mlw ( or nbymlw)

….

Bi-Julietian

- For any bi oriented julietians that want to emphasize their julietian attraction : wlm (or nbywlm)

#pride flag #queer flag #lgbt flags #queer women #queer men #nonbinary #mpsec #bi flag #bisexual #biromantic #allo allo #a spectrum #a spec #aroace spec #aro spec #ace spec #bi oriented aroace #nbylm #nbylw #achillean #bi mlm #sapphic #bi wlw #romeric #bi mlw #julietian #bi wlm #Juvelic

[aroaceconfessions]

Is there a word for when you're somewhere between biromantic/bisexual and aromantic/asexual ? Calling myself bi or aroace makes me feel like an impostor. It's like I'm to aroace to be bi but too bi to be aroace.

#asexual #ace #aspec #acespec #aromantic #aro #arospec #aroacespec #biromantic #bisexual #bi oriented aroace #bi aroace