#because who cares meh

[sidver]

NY, Bloomingdale's, 1964

#my art #edith ackerman #i won't mark it as cod art because people in tags are gonna be like wtf lmao #i was again so ambitious about this and then i was meh #let it be stupid bloomingdales advertisement who cares anyway #upd: aaaaa guys thank you for your kind words 😭

[kavehater]

I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”

#the same people who would shriek like the witch of the north melting her skin off if I tell you haikaveh / kavetham isn’t implied because #if you actually look into our culture they’re being normal and not everyone having rivalry and caring about each other means they’re 💅 #in fact Arabs are some of the worlds most hospitable people alhaitham letting kaveh live with him #is the most Arab thing I’ve ever seen #heck if kaveh was a stranger it wouldn’t be unusual for an Arab to let him in their house ☠️ #goddamn #“if you look in the internet you can see how they’re implied!🤓☝️” #maybe if you had any respect for my culture or any desire to be educated when I’m handing this to you for free you wouldn’t be your mistake #your mums greatest mistake 🤗🤗🤗* #dora daily #if only ppl dedicated this level of detail to actual culture compared to pulling out their microscope at level 100x magnification lens to #observe robins spots under her eyes the world would be a better place 🙀 #let me tell you btw this whole I hate you meh meh meh ( I’m so in love with you ) trope is the most whitest booktok millennial plant growing #basement dweller nonesense I have ever heard in my life don’t do that to my pookies ☹️ #( the pookies in fact were 11 and 9 years older than her respectively ) #guys my dad is the straightest man alive ( oh the trauma lowkey wish he wasn’t ) and he legit was putting his hand on his best friends lap #LMAOOO even I as a very logical person was like bro this is so zesty rn I am SO uncomfortable #anyways live laugh love boothill x Baizhu they’re the most canon things I’ve ever seen in my life #<- this is a joke btw it’s an ironic ship I saw on tiktok ☠️

[jokaarija]

end of the year rant

#what i want from the new year is to finally have friends #idk someone that actually cares about me #i’m tired of being alone #but knowing me i’ll eventually isolate myslef again because who in their right mind would want to be my friend #yeah i have avpd 🙃 #i’m already dreading some things that are gonna happen next year #just hope that in between all of that something good will happen to me too #i’m happy i had my fandoms this year otherwise it was pretty meh #feel like i’m standing in one place not rlly going anywhere with my life #which sucks i mean weren’t these supposed to be the best years of your life lol #anyway nye makes me super anxious so i’ll just enjoy esc250 #manifesting my favorites placing well and why not maybe we’ll have a new winner hehe 👀

[sixty-silver-wishes]

what if I just rewrote “genuine” (1920)

#it had some good concepts but it was kinda meh #genuine 1920 #I’d make genuine a flawed anti hero #who makes no distinction between her oppressors and bystanders due to her trauma #she uses seduction as a way to get revenge because she knows they only care about her body #so she might as well weaponize it #she’s bitter and hateful because she’s been used by so many people and kept in the dark #when she used to be powerful and respected #and when she finally experiences well. genuine love #she’s killed by florian. who she seduced earlier #as he can’t stand the fact she truly loves someone else and not him

[spinetacks]

3am feelings be gone into tags 🚮

#but just thinking about 2 months minimum..that’s enough yearning to kill a man :( #I’ll just keep making throwback stuff 😔 we will have food to survive on.. #I’m super close to my first little follower milestone! I’m so happy to be here and meet nice people and share things #after being a bit lost and meh and in autism limbo over interests last year it’s been so nice :) I really enjoy days he keeps me busy #and I’ll miss that aaaa #I care him a lot :(( #more than I ever anticipated I would but I’m here now 😪 #and excited for whatever the next era of his career looks like 🤧 #I try to remain hinged on here because no one needs all my feelings fhjd but I have a lot !! #and it’s nice to put that into making him more accessible to others ! #idek what emotion this post is now it was sad and happy..anyway :’) just late night feelings #it’s been a big busy emotional few weeks and I’m sad he’s leaving but tangentially happy I’ve met other people who care him #if you see this I have feelings for you and you can’t escape!! 💖 #blahblah

[wheresurboytonighthelookslikeenj]

sorry why is i'd rather be me meangirls like the worst mt song ever

#its so wordy but the melody doesnt fit the wordiness so it just sounds like that one poem from the limerick thread like #“yes i know it's because i try to squeeze as many syllables into the last line as i possibly can” #“and if you treat me bad i'll say you're bad” lives in my head rent free like girlypop w h a t #and the rest of the lyrics are mid #and the song seems to be supposed to be some inspirational number--a turning point for the girls who arent the plastics-- #but the melody and instrumentation is so meh and twee and... idk it seems shallow. it doesnt make me feel anything. #and the chanting ughhhhhhhhhhh #and people have said that this song doesnt fit janis but like idk if you think about it as a turning point like this is when she finally #breaks and finally decides that she doesnt care anymore then yeah it could work that way #but it still isnt a good song. #ugh #malloy mean girls chronicles

[chaosthatsmellsgreen]

so here's the thing.

Swan Song is the perfect ending.

it's not a happy ending, it's not necessarily the ending i'd want for either Sam or Dean, but that's not what a good ending to a story is. not all stories have a happy ending. and Supernatural? it's a tragic story. it's a story of perservering in the face of insurmountable evil. it's a story about holding on for dear life, as long as you can. it's a story about making the right choice, even if it seems impossible - even it if doesn't make you happy.

i wouldn't want Sam to be locked up with Lucifer for the rest of eternity. i wouldn't want Dean to fail the one goal he'd had in life, to protect his little brother. but by looking at the narrative of the whole five seasons, it's the ending that makes sense, and while bittersweet, it completes both of their stories perfectly.

Sam had been infected by evil before he was even born. he'd made unforgivable mistakes, he'd been struggling to stay on the path of good his whole life. in the end, the one thing he had to do was to be able to do the right thing. as heart-breaking as that is, the right thing, for Sam, is to sacrifice himself to save the world. the tragedy of it, that all he wanted was an out of this life he'd grown up in, to be normal, to be safe. to get away from the monsters and the darkness inside him. throughout the five seasons, he'd been struggling to make the right choices, he's been trying to deny who and what he is. in season four, he makes the ultimate mistake - and season five, from start to finish is his redemption arc. he knows what he's done, and he genuinely doesn't try to excuse it. even in the last second, he considers himself less than the people he looks up to, less than Dean and Bobby, but he knows what the next right thing is. the only thing left to do. and in the end, he doesn't get to enjoy the normal life he'd wanted in the world he saved, because that's just not his story. what he does get to do is to do right by the world - and more importantly, right by his brother.

Dean on the other hand, had always been fast to sacrifice himself. he was happy with his life as a hunter - keep in mind, even though he starts questioning that through the seasons (same as Sam is questioning whether he could ever be normal), that's where Dean comes from, originally. he's a hunter, it's his job to save people, it's his job to take care of his family, his little brother. that's what he is, that's all he is. and you can see how much of a toll it takes on him. he gives up his life so that Sam can live, but he resents the universe for it. he resents Sam for making the wrong choices, but it's because he feels like it's his responsibility to fix them - but Sam has grown up. he has his own mind and Dean needs to understand, as he does in the very end, that he needs to let Sam be who he is. that this obsession with cleaning up his messes is ruining him, it's pushing him to do things he never would've done for anyone else. and in my opinion, he does the right thing, too. he lets Sam make his own call. he's there, he goes with him to see Lucifer, he goes to where the battle is going to go down, even if there is nothing he can do, just so he's there for Sam ("Well then I ain't gonna let him die alone."). he's not there to change anything. he's there to support his brother. and the thing is, Dean never even dared to want the apple pie life. he was a good little soldier for his dad, he looked after his little brother, he saved people and killed monsters - between all that, anything he might've wanted for himself was just... buried by all the noise.

but Sam knows what it's like to want that. and he wants it for Dean. Dean never let Sam do anything for him, because it wasn't Sam's job to look after Dean. and Sam, whose last act was going to be self-sacrifice, who knew he wasn't going to make it out, he made the last thing he'd ever do be, for once, to look after his big brother. to prevent him from going down a path that would lead to loneliness and madness and the end of the world, again

and after five seasons, after giving up on Sam, on family, on life, on happiness, on the world, Dean finally gives in and lets him. he chooses to honor Sam's wishes, and do the one thing his brother always wanted, the one thing he could never have, the one thing Dean has always been too selfless to even want for himself; he goes and lives a normal life.

i know the series goes on. despite not watching to the end, i know Dean ends up dying and Sam ends up living to an old age. i know they go back to not trusting each other, to recycling their five season long character arcs over and over until narrative cohesion is gone completely. i know there are traces of the Sam and Dean of what i consider to be peak Supernatural in the later series (S8 Sam is very on theme for his character, which is why it's my favourite season from late-Supernatural). but the thing is, Swan Song is the perfect ending. it ends a complete arc, it closes a cohesive story with complex characters, a strong thematic core about love and family and free will, and an - albeit tragic - ending.

there are a lot of posts and conversation around how rare it is to have shows and movie series with a planned story, a story that ends not when it is no longer profitable but when it's supposed to. and Supernatural was clearly supposed to end here. this is my example every time i have a conversation about shows that you shouldn't watch every season of. and like i said, there is a lot of good stuff after this. there is a lot to explore in the world of Supernatural. i personally enjoyed a lot of later episodes, loved season eight and absolutely. fucking. ADORED Fan Fiction (10x05). but i look at all of that as spin off. an alternative way for things to go after the real ending. i often have a loose relationship with canon, and such is the case here. i have my own headcanon about how i'd like to imagine things go after season 5, but that's irrelevant.

Swan Song is a wonderful episode. it rounds out the story, brings it to a bittersweet but complete point. our heroes have made their choices, and Chuck's ending narration says it all.

"So, what's it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test... for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right. Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point?"

THE END

#spn #supernatural #spn rewatch 2023 #swan song #this is probably a relatively unpopular opinion #i don't really care to be honest #my relationship with supernatural has been different than like half this site because i don't ship the main ship #therefore most takes i see don't really make this point #which isn't to say “oh my god i'm literally the only person who thinks this!!!!! i'm so special you guys!!!!!” #quite the opposite i'm sure i'm not alone with this opinion regardless of shipping preference #but i feel *very* strongly about it #to me this story is about the Winchester brothers #everything else is background to that #a lot of it is amazing background! #castiel is a wonderful side character and i think i'd be low key obsessed with him if i liked the fandom context #as is it's hard to find anything about him that isn't about him being shipped and it's meh #because he is a really good and interesting character regardless of that context #i rebelled for this?! whom #i didn't write anything because after my previous post i hit the best consecutive run of episodes and i was too hype to tab out #but this was a top tier moment #bobby is absolutely amazing too #he has his own reasons for being a hunter and he reinforces the idea that family isn't just blood #it's the people you love the people you can rely on #i could write essays about all of them and a thousand other characters #but i won't because this has already taken me way longer than i planned for #i feel like i've finally said my piece about supernatural and i'm happy with it #i might be back in a few years on another rewatch but ya know #that's it for now

[useful-boy]

Hate when bitches at this store try to tell me "Ummm I need you to start the audit already, we're supposed to leave by 11" like damn that's crazy maybe if you left me a better store or did anything to help me out I wouldn't be starting so late after picking up all your bullshit

#literally the first thing i did was walk the entire store to see what all still needed doing and then i told the manager who still had #Several clerks on the clock 'hey the womens bathroom needs to be hit and all the counters need to be wiped down' and she went 'okay!' #then of course. wouldnt you know. when i get back in from my lot sweep (basically picking up excess trash or emptying trash cans #that got full after they took out trash earlier) (of which there were a Lot tonight. very unusual when most nights i can get by #without changing any of them) #none of the things i told her about had been done <3 And the kitchen was a fucking disaster #'you got clerks for that you coulda made them clean it' 'no ill do that later they did a lot today' okay sweetie whatever you say #they always wanna leave Me a shitty store to come into and then get an attitude when they have to stay late because again #I am spending more time fixing things that they should have taken care of already before i got there #wasting Both our time on clerk tasks just to get the store down to manageable levels of filth before i do the audit #and then you wanna complain like its My fault? whores #only One of the managers here ever leaves me a decent store (not Perfect but its still a huge improvement over other days) #and no matter how many times i give the same feedback to every manager i relieve or who relieves me in the morning #shit does not get better #i love it!!!!!! #meh. #mild vent #i guess #its just me bitching about work so whatever #also? you Told me you were gonna stay an hour late already? why are you fucking complaining about me being 'too slow' #to start the audit. bitch

[imwritesometimes]

sitting in bed pondering just what lengths I'll go to over this particular one-track mind phase (what books will I read & movies will I watch for one actor)

#look. idk how to say this cause I always feel embarrassed so this gonna be vague but #there is a certain... prolific and iconic historical author who I just. never cared for. hated reading their stuff in school. #probably mostly because of HOW we were always made to read their stuff but also just the language & shit was. not doin it for me. #but. I might attempt a reread for the first time in 20 years. so I can read something else. so I can watch something. #it's gone that far like read 2 books to watch a movie. I need to sedated. immediately. #but like *lights cigarette with shaky hands* I got it bad #and I've always wanted to watch the fckn movie but was always like meh another time #well baby it is mental UNwellness time there is no time like the present #it is do something or lmao end up back in the ward and I HATED the ward so 🤷‍♀️ #lmao babes idk why anyone on here follows me this blog is just my well documented descent into madness #erin explains it all

[problemcore]

happy pride month! (torments my own character)

#val (oc) #my ocs #lesbian #wlw #meh #anyway i dont actually have a name for the girl she's crushing on. which is bad becuz that girl is also one of my main characters. #i have disease of never name your characters #dnoodles #this is val you already know a lot abt her :) but the girl she's crushing on (im taking name suggestions) is also pretty interesting #she's a year older than val. she is the head of the student counsil at the school they go to. she's an orphan. #she is the girl you never know if you wanna be her or if you want to be with her. #the thing with her being so adored by everyone is that she feels very. alone. because no one truly knows her. and she never rly had #friends. because she always took the role of being the most responsible person that she never takes the time to care for being #social and getting to know the people around her. and never letting them know who she really is #she puts up this wall. this mask. of a person that is so perfect that they cannot be touched. #anyway she is deeply traumatized #i should go to sleep >< #anyway this was fun to draw i love my ocs so much. 90% of them arent named :D #mariko (oc)

[pagesofkenna]

also i kind of... disagree with the notion that Eurovision is a silly queer campfest. i think that's how it was hyped online for years before i finally got to watch it, and then when i did i remember being pretty disappointed that the campy silly stuff was only... 10% of the show? i thought it was a bad year. turns out that's every year, because Eurovision is actually a music contest that a lot of people take pretty seriously

like, the guys crooning sappy love ballads aren't doing Eurovision wrong - that's who that country voted to represent them, which means enough people in that country loved that sappy love ballad that they wanted everyone else to hear it too. same for the girl power songs and the 'i'm sexy and i know it' songs and the traditional/folk remix songs. their goal isnt 'send the stupidest most campy performer to Eurovision' it's 'send the person we think is the best'

and when I follow the buildup to show week, and actually give myself time to judge each song and performer on their own, i find that yeah some of these are really damn good?? even when they're not silly or openly queer or whatever? the memes are fun but most of the performers aren't there for the memes, they're there to perform and represent their countries

(subwoolfer and citi zeni definitely are there for the memes tho)

#i just... idk why this bugs me #i just remember being really disappointed the first couple years i followed eurovision #and in 2018 having some performers and songs i REALLY loved that scored really low #and then after the finale no one talks about the show anymore? its like everyone packs up and goes home #but i'd JUST heard all the songs i wanted to talk about them!! #and then a couple weeks later i realized one of the performers i'd really liked..... his song actually wasnt that good?? #if i'd heard it before the show and had time to let it simmer i would have realized #so the next year i decided to listen to the album ahead of time. didnt even watch rehearsals or anything just the album #and i loved the finale SO MUCH BETTER! #because i KNEW the songs i KNEW what was good but some of the meh songs had AMAZING stage performances #like its STILL a bug surprise seeing the show actually get pulled off and seeing how professional recordings translate to live shows #i just have been enjoying eurovision way more since then the idea of going back to just watching the finale... #it feels like just watching the last episode of a murder mystery. like i dont JUST care about who wins i wanna see how they get there #esc #esc22

[lord-squiggletits]

The thing about TFA is that I think it’s a pretty good Transformers cartoon, it’s fun and has interesting spins on the usual premises of TF. But I honestly don’t think it’s as deep as a lot of the fandom likes to act as it is.

Like, sure, in the show we have a few glimpses of Cybertron under Autobot rule and get inklings that this isn’t a pure and wholesome society. Except we literally don’t get anything besides that-- glimpses. All of the backstory that actually reveals the ~problematic~ and ~revolutionary~ things of the TFA continuity takes place solely in extra materials. And even if you could convince me that this is a valid way of telling a story (spoilers: NO because I shouldn’t have to buy multiple separate pieces of merchandise, half of which is shown via Word of God/meta texts and not actual story content, to be able to understand a single story), it honestly doesn’t make a difference. None of the extra material that shows the dark/gritty parts of TFA shows up in the cartoon itself.

It doesn’t matter that the flying twins were experimented on while on the verge of death because they sure don’t act like it matters. It doesn’t matter that the Decepticons apparently used to be enslaved as war machines, because the show sure as hell doesn’t give them any deeper characterization than “we’re gonna take over Cybertron because we’re the Decepticons raaaaawwwwrrr!” And it doesn’t even matter that Optimus Prime, one of the main characters of the show, is literally a high-ranking military officer of a regime that brainwashes/experiments on civilians, because as far as the story is concerned his biggest problems are 1. Trying to get his crew to listen to him 2. Fighting Decepticons 3. Putting up with his annoying superiors after he got kicked out of the Elite Guard. (Note that just because he didn’t make it in the Elite Guard doesn’t mean he’s not still important: Prime is one of the highest ranks the military has, and Optimus was given freaking Omega Supreme, a top secret war weapon/artifact, as his ship.)

The story is trying to pose itself as something deeper and more serious, but ultimately fails because those deeper/serious things are barely covered in the show or delegated to side materials.

Am I saying TFA is a terrible show that has no good ideas at all? Am I saying that people who like TFA are dumb and should watch another show? Not at all. I’m just saying that I think the fandom opinions of TFA as a show honestly overhypes it compared to the actual content of the show itself. Forget about the dark and gritty backstory, the vast majority of TFA is spent on human villains and random skirmishes on Earth instead of the actual interesting part, the Autobot/Decepticon war and the state of Cybertron!

If you want a TF continuity that has great lore (and doesn’t require you to watch a cartoon, read a book, find a bunch of old interviews, read a comic, and listen to a script reading at a con), IDW1 and IDW2 are both right there waiting for you. Especially IDW2, which is written as a single continuous story and not as the chaotic decade-and-a-half long mess that is IDW1.

#squiggposting #also another reason i dont really like fanon views of tfa is that like #the content for MOP and especially OP himself is so meh #people seem to think OP is like a crybaby twink who's the victim of constant bullying #and M is the one who swoops in like a romantic novel love interest to save him #in other words not even the content made by people who like the characters/ship #is something i'm interested in at all #nor is it really in character for that matter #it just seems to me like the reason people like TFA is because the material is scattered enough that they can just #cobble together whatever headcanons they want and create the story that they want in their head #and the cartoon itself doesn't contradict them because the cartoon is just a simplistic good guys vs bad guys #with some hints at something deeper that never get explored #i know some people like the 'sandbox of headcanons' or whatever but like #if a piece of media doesn't have substance on its own #and isnt well crafted or coherent on my own #then why would i care about it enough to be interested #the cartoon can't even tell a story standing on its own so why should i have to do all the work of making the story work #there's a difference between leaving things to the imagination vs straight up leaving things out of the story #the difference between making inferences and theories that enrich the already existing story #versus the story itself being fragmented incomplete and tbh a little boring and you having to rewrite it in your mind to make it interesting #anyways that's my spiel for the day

[veiledintj]

Unhealthy ISFJs: You forgot my birthday, so obviously you don't care about me at all. You are so ungrateful towards our relationship. Anyone should be able to memorize birthdays with the slightest effort. I know all my friends' and relatives' birthdays. If you aren't even going to spare the five seconds of memorizing my birthday then get the hell out of my life and never talk to me again

Healthy ISFJs: You forgot? It's fine. If you are more forgetful than me then I just have more opportunities to help you!

(see tags for function-based analysis)

#Since ISFJs have high Si they are going to use it a lot and probably have a good memory/use their past experiences to guide their choices #the difference between healthy and unhealthy here lies in the Fe. #unhealthy Fe leads to an ISFJ being toxic towards anyone who doesn't demonstrate Fe in the same manner and extent that ISFJ does #healthy Fe is forgiving and caring #therefore unhealthy ISFJ here is furious at people who don't have as high Si as they do #their unhealthy Fe cannot stand on its own and instead needs to compete with and be superior to others' Fe #while healthy ISFJ uses what I may call Si-oriented Fe so that they can helpfully aid others with their own past experiences #so that's the explanation. #Side note - as ISFJ is the most common type it's probably easier to encounter people at both ends of the 'healthy-unhealthy spectrum' #While it can be harder to tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy examples of less common types #Which leads to a question for some people (pbly esp. NJs): Is this me being problematic or is this just part of my personality? #but then you should also consider that more uncommon types might be more likely to be formally/psychologically unhealthy/disordered #because they are ostracized by mainstream types #okay that was too long of a rant #the unhealthy ISFJ was saying this to her own daughter. meh. #the healthy ISFJ was saying this to me (who has blindspot Fe and demon Si). I love him #mbti #mbti dynamics #mbti theory #cognitive functions #cognitive functions theory #isfj

[blujayonthewing]

a small personal recurring Thing for Melliwyk is that she keeps making tremendous strides in her research and feeling frustrated/ disheartened by a perceived lack of interest or appropriate level of impress from her companions, and it's a weird thing because it's not that she's upset that no one's impressed with HER (she crafted the first magic item in the vault's history by getting instructions from someone who knows how to do it, for instance-- as far as she's concerned, she doesn't deserve any special credit for that), but that The Thing is inherently impressive and she's just really excited and wants to share that excitement with others because it's something important to her

anyway I just realized this is the exact same way I feel about sharing art that doesn't get much/ any acknowledgement or feedback

#I have known both of these things separately for awhile but only just now connected them lol #'you shouldn't tie your self worth/ desire to make art to the attention it gets' okay yes sure in theory but #I want to show people because I want to share it because it makes me happy!! so when other people don't seem to care it bums me out!! #it's not about 'look how good my art is' it's about 'look at my/ my friend's OC I love her' #the fact that it's usually OCs is rough because on the one hand I can't actually expect most people to care and that's normal and fine #but on the other hand if I post dnd art where people who DO know the characters can see it and STILL little or no response... Feels Bad #I am a little kid holding up a macaroni art #it's not about 'tell me how good my art is' it's about 'I made this and I'm excited to share it with you! :)' #anyway yeah same for mel lol #mel: I have made A Magic Item. it is a gift for you #party member: oh thanks #mel: ... I mean yeah this is only the culmination of my entire life's work and thousands of years of fruitless research and experimentation #mel: NO BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING #it's weird because she doesn't know what to say about it (even if she was so inclined) without it feeling like fishing for praise #she doesn't want PRAISE she wants you to be excited for her and with her! #mel: for this important mission. you may borrow this rare and deceptively powerful magic item we found. because you are my friend #party member: meh idk #mel: OKAY BUT DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW BIG OF A DEAL IT IS TO ME THAT I OFFERED-- #lmao #about me #my OCs #melliwyk

[powdermelonkeg]

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

#anxiety #long post #i have been an adult for the better part of a decade and it has gotten SO much easier as i internalized these #swearing tw

[inertia-writes]

dehradun days

you meet them for the first time,

knowing it's probably the last.

might as well make the most of this time,

since life comes at you fast.

you find the strangest of signals

in the no-network zones.

cross-tent communication with folks,

just rambling about the unknown.

there's the warmth of shared laughter,

that carries you through freezing nights,

and you look up at the flickering stars,

to finally see things in a different light.

and at 11,000 ft above sea level

you finally reach the peak,

just to realise the joy was in the journey,

and the friends you made that week.

you'll visit caves & splendid cafes,

and remember the city in mere parts,

but years later, you'll still tell everyone,

how dehradun captured your heart.

#inertia-writes #poets on tumblr #desi poetry #dehradun poetry #poems on india #poems on life #desiblr #being desi #dehradun #i went on a trek w the lowest of expectations and it was one of the best experiences of my life #it's so refreshing to meet people from different cities and of different ages and backgrounds #jan and feb were pretty meh but things have been looking upwards from march (thank you god - i acknowledge your existence) #thought of writing a happy poem for a change of tone (and also maybe because i am genuinely happy :) ) #this isn't one of my best poems i feel - it's a bit unrefined - but who cares it is one of my happy ones sooooo #there are times when absolutely nothing significant happens and there are days when years happen #i didn't go in the mountains for solitude - i felt that here already haha. i went for a change. #but i gained so many memories w people and so many positive perspectives that i needed in general. also nayata premier league <3 #i think i believe in destiny now. i was destined to meet those people and have a good time and come back to reality w a spring in my step #and maybe the mountains were calling. can't stay away from snow too long - i was born during snowy days anyway #came back home and am still in some weird positive trance - good for me #also my lucky streak is still going on - kaavish released a new song #historic moment in time (thank you god 2x) #poems on friendship #found family #poems on found family #all the may '23 - feb '24 melancholy has been washed out of my system. i am now set for the next tragedy of my life lol #dekhte hai kab tak khush rehti hu mein - kuch bhayankar honewala hai aisa lag raha hai #i do not remember the last time i was happy for a month straight - am i living in a virtual simulation? #whoever is controlling my life rn - i would like to continue to stay in this simulation - thanks v much