#because that's all literature is. what are human beings? how do you write a person? how do they interact with each other?

[greenerteacups]

Hi! I am an ardent fan of your writing, and I hope to be as sorted and planned as you some day in my own writing journey.

My question is: you have a keen eye when it comes to planning character personality, dynamics, and such. I've also been wading through your ask replies, and your insights into how you write people and how you make them play off of each other is so wonderful to read. If it's not too personal a q, how did you learn how to write like this? Did you go to school for writing, does it come from years of observing people, do you have reading list recs for "how to write real people and real interactions"?

Thanks! This is a really flattering question. I'll try to answer it honestly, because I wish someone had been brutally honest about this with me when I was a young writer.

I didn't go to school for writing. I started doing it when I was about nine years old. It sucked very badly. I kept writing throughout high school, and it still mostly sucked, but some of it was occasionally interesting. ("Interesting" here does not mean "good," by the way.) I took a break in college, and then came back. I've been writing ever since. Sometimes, I feel good about it. A lot of the time, I don't!

I hate giving this advice, because I remember how it feels to get it, and it's the most uninspiring, boring-ass, dog shit advice you can get, but it's also the only advice that is 100% unequivocally true: you have to write, and specifically, you have to write things that suck.

I do not mean that you should make things that suck on purpose. I mean that you have to sit down and try your absolute hardest to make something good. You have to put in the hours, the elbow grease, the blood, sweat, and tears, and then you have to read it over and accept that it just totally sucks. There is no way around this, and you should be wary of people who tell you there is. There is no trick, no rule, no book you can buy or article you can read, that will make your writing not suck. The best someone else can do is tell you what good writing looks like, and chances are, you knew that anyway — after all, you love to read. You wouldn't be trying to do this if you didn't. And anyone who says they can teach you to write so good it doesn't suck at first is either lying to you, or they have forgotten how they learned to write in the first place.

So the trick is to sit there in the miserable doldrums of Suck, write a ton, and learn to like it. Because this is the phase of your path as an artist when you find what it is you love about writing, and it cannot be the chance to make "good writing." This will be the thing that bears you through and compels you to keep going when your writing is shit, i.e., the very thing that makes you a writer in the first place. So find that, and you've got a good start.

Some people know this, but assume that perseverance as a writer is about trying to get to the point where you don't suck anymore. This is not true, and it is an actively dangerous lie to tell young writers. You are not aiming to feel like your writing doesn't suck. You are aiming to write. You are aiming to have written. Everything else is dust and rust. And of course, you'll find things you like about your pieces, you'll find things you're proud of, you'll learn to love the things you've made. But that little itch of self-criticism, in the back of your brain — the one that cringes when you read a clunky line, or thinks of a better character beat right after it's far too late to change — that's never going away. That's the Writer part of you. Read Kafka, read Dickens, read Tolstoy, you will find diary entries where they lament how absolutely fucking atrocious their writing was, and how angry they are that they can't do better. A good writer hates their sentences because they can always imagine better ones. And the ability to imagine a better sentence is what's going to make you pick up the pen again tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that.

Which is what I mean, and probably what all those other annoying, preachy advice-givers mean, when we say: a good writer is just someone who writes every day. It's that easy, and that hard.

#by the way a lot of this draws on ideas inspired by 'letters to a young poet' by rainer maria rilke if you're interested #that's a formative text for me as an artist #it won't teach you how to write but it will teach you how to think perhaps #and once you know how to think. well. life is just pretty good #and i can't say the writing gets easier but when life is pretty good i find myself enjoying it a lot more #this word vomit was prompted by the question 'how do you write real people and real interactions' #because that's like — i'm not trying to be pedantic but— #that's kind of just 'how do you write literature'? #because that's all literature is. what are human beings? how do you write a person? how do they interact with each other? #like shoutout to the void if you know for sure how to write real interactions then please for the love of god tell the rest of us #because i think most of all authors in history have just been giving it our best stab #'this is how the world looks for me. is it how the world looks for you?' #so my advice on that score is: try to see how the world looks for you #and then try to share it with me #don't worry about whether it looks the same for me. it won't

[ao3commentoftheday]

What would you usually advise for an aspiring writer who just... Doesn't have a wide range of English vocabulary? :( I've never written anything yet but for many times in my life, I've been surrounded by literature and fanfiction that I feel at home with the topic. I have stories in mind for my fandoms that I wish that I can write. But the problem is-- English is not my first language. I worry that my dialogues or storylines may not sound appropriate if I ever write and it reaches audience outside my country. I also worry that my world knowledge and or social awareness may be so small that I may not make things... relatable. Do I need to read a lot before being able to start to write? Because I read somewhere that good writers are also wide readers.

I definitely agree that reading more (and reading broading across genres, cultures, and time periods) is a valuable way for a writer to spend their time. By reading, you become familiar with the components of writing and how to put them together. You get a feel for styles that really resonate with you and you also learn what kinds of writing you just don't really like much at all.

That said, I don't think you need to do all of your reading before you start writing. Watching a lot of youtube videos about swimming isn't going to do much for you until you actually get into a pool. Knowing the theory is only half of the battle. Being able to practice is important too.

Remember, you don't have to do it all in 1 story. You can start by writing things that are within your knowledge and when you're comfortable doing that, you can see if you enjoy researching too. If you do, then great! You've got more potential topics to write about. If you don't, that's great too! You get to dig in deeper on the themes and touchstones that you already know.

There's nothing shameful about getting really good at writing the same few things. No one ever asked Agatha Christie to stop writing about murder because she really should branch out.

Having simpler vocabulary is also nothing to be ashamed of - although based on your ask, I think you don't have anything to be worried about. For this, and for the other worries you've expressed, I recommend asking a friend (either in person or in fandom) to read over your work with you. A beta can be there to help with grammar and spelling, but they can also assist in developing ideas or identifying opportunities you have in your story. They can be a cheer reader or a sensitivity reader too.

When it comes to being relatable, just remember we're all human. We all live. We'll all die. We all feel happy and sad and angry and bored and hungry. A lot of us fall in love. A lot of us have caring families. Some of us are heartbroken for almost all of our lives. The city that we do it in or the workplace or the type of school doesn't matter. It's the experience part that's universal.

I'd love to hear from other authors who write in second (or third, etc) languages about your thoughts on this one. And for everyone else, please feel free to share your thoughts as well.

#asks and answers

[mondaymelon]

— 𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗮𝘂: 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 ♥

:feat~ xiao, kazuha, heizou, scaramouche x gn!reader:

⤷ cw: obsessiveness, self aware ⤷ speed-wrote this so sorry for any mistakes spps

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open!) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis

XIAO is perplexed, if anything.

Why would you write such things about him, of all people? In a way, he’s honored that you’d think highly enough of him, but what’s with this strangely flowery language? The adeptus has read his fair share of local tales, but this is nothing in comparison. Not by far.

In a way, he feels like he’s intruding upon your personal information, but then again, you don’t even know he’s alive, do you? So as long as you stay unaware, it’d be fine, right? At least, that’s what he tells himself as he reads over the text you’ve accidentally left open on your screen, face flushed as sudden heat rises to his cheeks.

Is this… normal? Do all humans do things like… this? Writing their fantasies down in text to satisfy themselves? 

Xiao really won’t ever understand the things that mortals do. The male isn’t sure how to feel at all.

Do you… Do you want him to do these things to you?

Maybe that’s why he keeps reading the words you granted him to read, over and over again, breath shallow. 

Do you want him to whisper his praises into your ear, to confess his love to you while the two of you watch the sunset beneath the mountainous skyline? To smile at you, light glimmering within his amber eyes? To hold you in his arms, to kiss you so tenderly, just like how you wanted him to? Just like how you wrote?

Because if that’s the case, he’s willing to. More than willing.

 A thousand, no, a million times over, he’ll do it all, however many times you want. ♥

KAZUHA is impressed at your work, and more than a little interested.

After all, the wandering poet he is, Kazuha has written quite the number of literature pieces himself, all of them about you… so he’s quite enthralled when he finds out that you write about him too! He might be overthinking some things, but he’s really, really excited about it… likely more than you’ll ever realize.

Because to him, writing is the highest form of endearment - a way to express oneself in the truest way possible, and to discover that you’ve been doing that for him, well… he can’t stop his heart from beating as fast as it is!

This means you feel the same way about him that he does you, right? After all, if you’re writing about how much you love him, that’s basically a confession, isn’t it?

And If… If you asked, he would be more than willing to show you the countless poems he’s written about you… some written in red ink, some in black, several smudged while others lay half-torn. Either way, all of them are for you, of you, all of them singing praises of your name and affectionate adorations of your being.

Because simply a hundred of them isn’t enough, not by far, to profess his profound love for you. His love for you is an imperfect feeling that sends his heart racing and his face burning.

He’ll just have to keep writing and writing until he can capture the obsessive feeling that seems to swallow him up, however long it’ll take. ♥

HEIZOU is only slightly surprised, but more so intrigued.

Who knew the creator had such a… shameful side to them? No, that’d be a disrespectful way to describe it… how about bashful? He finds it innocent, almost, which is strange.

In the first place, many wouldn’t expect you to be so susceptible to such fantasies, let alone write such ideas down. And while he is somewhat shocked, it’s also predictable. Heizou has analyzed your personality and character over and over, countless times over, and he knows your tendencies, all of them. This is merely a different foresight in thousands upon thousands of possibilities.

But expectation aside, Heizou can’t help but keep reading what you’ve written about him… do you really think of the detective like this? Someone so… charming and romantic? It’s flattering, almost too much so. The very thought of it, the very sight of your carefully crafted words and sentences, he can hear the way his heart thumps in his ears and the way his face is twisted into a lovesick smile. 

After all, if this is what you’ve dreamed up of, then that’s what you want him to do to you, right? Haha, ask nicely, and Heizou will be more than willing to play along with whatever you have in mind.

Ah, but you should keep in mind.

Once Heizou has a taste of what he wants, he might never stop.♥

SCARAMOUCHE judges you, of course.

He finds it puzzling and somewhat unsettling at the same time… why is it that you write down such stories about what he would do to you? He hasn’t done a single action described in the fantasies you’ve written, so why do you still persist so earnestly?

…It almost disgusts him.

Of course, he’d never say it to your face… or then again, maybe he would. Scaramouche is a brash man, and that’s common knowledge. After all, the strong can say whatever they want, can’t they?

Still… it’s oddly comforting to see you do this. And the male doesn't really know why. Maybe it’s because you care for him enough to dream about these kinds of things? Or maybe it’s evidence to him that you won’t be another to leave him?

He’s strangely conflicted, and to him, that’s weakness. Both appalled and enthralled… how is he supposed to feel?

And it doesn’t help that even through his whines, he keeps reading. Reading with the slightest dust of red across his cheeks and the way his breath hitches every time you’ve written his name. Heart skipping a beat every time his eyes scan over the sentences one more time, once more, just once more.

Is that the way you feel about him?

And why was it that he felt the same? ♥

(a/n) oh dear my mental state is declining again wooOoOo

#★ ˎˊ˗ mondaymelon #astronetwrk #favoniuslibrary #scara x reader #scaramouche x reader #xiao headcanons #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #heizou x you #genshin heizou #heizou x reader #kazuha x reader #genshin kazuha #kazuha #genshin x you #genshin fanfic #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin imagines #yandere sagau #sagau #sagau x reader #yandere genshin x you #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #genshin fanfiction #genshin x reader #wanderer x reader #wanderer x you #genshin wanderer

[cuubism]

I'd love something about Dream who's very aware that he's way too intense romantically while also being not intense enough sexually because he's ace. His partners usually prefer it the other way around. If that's something you'd be willing to write (if not that's okay too)

hmm yes, we can always do ace dream. though we didn't quite reach 'aware' 😂 human uni au is what popped to my mind

--

When Hob gets back from class, Dream is lying facedown on the couch, one long arm trailing morosely down to the floor, face smashed so deeply into a pillow that Hob can only see the tufts of his hair. He seems to have been there for some time, and doesn't move when Hob comes in.

"Horrors insurmountable today?" Hob asks as he puts down his bag and heads to the adjoining kitchen to grab a snack. He'll probably need to grab one for Dream, too, now that he thinks about it. Doubtful he's eaten.

Dream just makes an mmph sound against his pillow. Then, once Hob's returned to the living room with a plate of apple slices, Dream pops his head up, lines all over his cheek from the pillow, fluffy hair going every which way, and says, "How much do you care about sex?"

Hob nearly trips and flings his apple slices everywhere. "What?"

"In general," Dream persists, heedless of Hob's shock. "Do you subscribe to the belief that individuals past puberty, particularly men, think about sex constantly, or is that an exaggeration? Which do you think is more important in a partnership: compatible personalities, or compatible sex drives? And why?"

"What is this, a sociology assignment?"

"Answer, please," Dream insists.

Hob sighs and gives in to the mad questioning. Joke's on him for having an insane roommate. "I thought about sex all the time when I was thirteen, maybe. Right now I'm just thinking about how I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm fucking starving but we're playing Twenty Questions instead of eating. And as to the second one, I don't know, Dream, I think both are probably important."

"So you think about sex an amount you would consider 'frequent'," Dream presses.

Hob's cheeks heat. Sex is not really a topic he wants to discuss with Dream of all people. Those two thoughts don't meld together into anything good for polite company. "I don't know, I guess!? Doesn't everyone?"

Dream lets out a despairing wail and thumps his head back into his pillow. "I am outnumbered."

Hob still has no idea what the hell he's on about. He finally gives up and just starts eating the apple slices. He offers one to Dream, holding it by the corner of his eye until he finally sees it and takes it, turns his head to the side just enough to start nibbling on it.

"You'll choke if you eat that lying down," Hob warns.

Dream begrudgingly pushes himself up, collapsing against the back of the couch, and goes back to nibbling on his apple slice.

"So," Hob continues, awkwardly, when Dream doesn't say anything else, "sex life not going so well, then?"

Dream glares at him, though it's not very intimidating considering the apple halfway into his mouth. "Too well, by most standards," he finally sniffs, and eats the rest of the slice.

"Oh, yeah?" Dream having sex is another thing Hob doesn't really like to think about. Why'd he bring that up again?

"Indeed. I have suitors falling over each other to bed me," Dream says.

Do all classic literature students talk the way Dream does? Hob doesn't know. It's been two years that they've lived together and he's still yet to definitively figure out if it's an affectation or just the way Dream is. He's leaning towards the latter.

Unfortunately, he can believe Dream's statement. Dream is a snitty little prick most of the time, but he's also unbearably beautiful.

"So what's the problem, then?" he asks.

"I don't want them to bed me," Dream says.

Hob's not following. "Say no, then?"

Dream rolls his eyes. "I don't want them to bed me, I want them to want me." His voice loses some of its determination halfway through the sentence, and he looks away.

Ouch. "Sounds like they do want you?"

Dream snorts. "Only so long as it suits them. Only so long as I fit their parameters. Today I spoke to Cori--"

Ah, yes, Cori, Dream's most recent ex-boyfriend. Dream's had a lot of ex-boyfriends, but Cori really tops the list, and not in a good way.

Now that Hob thinks about it, all of Dream's relationships kind of go the same way. Dream comes home after the first date bouncing off the walls with stars in his eyes insisting this person's the one, and within two months the thing's somehow torpedoed into the Underworld and Hob's scraping Dream up off the bathroom floor.

He's starting to see where the initial line of questioning might have come from.

"--and he, at last, was straightforward with me when no one else has bothered to be all this time. I demanded to know, truthfully, why he ended things, and he told me that I 'care too much, but won't put out'--"

Hob winces.

"--which does not make sense, as we had sex frequently? I do not know what else I am meant to be 'putting' and where. I said as much, and he laughed, and said--" he imitates Cori's voice with a surprisingly passable American accent-- "'It only counts if you at least pretend you want to be there, doll. Next time try initiating occasionally.' He left before I could question him further."

Hob doesn't like the picture this is painting. And Dream is looking at him beseechingly, like Hob might be able to explain the bizarre encounter. "So... now you're trying to figure out if your understanding of sex is wrong or something?"

"I felt that, as a neutral observer to the situation, you would be appropriate to survey," Dream says.

(Neutral is a stretch, Hob thinks.)

"So I ask you, Hob Gadling, as a man demonstrably unbothered by 'hookup culture'--"

"Are you calling me a slut?"

"--what do you think is the correct amount that one should care about sex? Because I--" he breaks off, twisting his fingers in his hair, suddenly anxious-- "I do not know what I am doing wrong."

Hob moves to sit beside him, lays a hand lightly on his arm. He's about to say, you're not doing anything wrong, except... that may not precisely be true. At least in terms of how Dream is actually handling it with his partners.

"How much do you care about sex?" he asks.

"Not as much as I am supposed to, evidently," Dream says. Hob just waits for him to elaborate. "Not very much. I prefer not to think about it." He looks at Hob, weary. "Now you will tell me that this is abnormal."

"I don't know what's 'normal'," Hob says. "But it does sound different from how Cori felt about it."

"I suppose," Dream says, sadly.

Hob doesn't particularly like where the intersection of 'I don't care about sex' and 'we had sex all the time' lands him. "If you don't care that much, why keep doing it?"

"It is what is done, is it not?" says Dream. "Besides. I do not mind so much. But even when I do participate, it is still not good enough. Or so it seems."

It's because they're picking up on the fact that you're not really enjoying it, Hob thinks. No one wants a partner who's not engaging. Least not anyone decent. But not saying anything and then just dipping out suddenly is kind of a dickish move, in his opinion.

"Do you want to participate?" he asks.

This seems to give Dream pause. "Mostly I would prefer to do other things. Like. Dates. Only that does not seem much appreciated either." He twists his hands together. "Perhaps Cori is right. I. Care too much."

"No." Hob takes Dream's hands and untwists them. "Cori's a dickhead. You just need to find someone who's on the same page as you, that's all."

"But it seems that book is rather empty," Dream says. He hasn't taken his hands back from Hob.

"Well, was there anyone that you did like having sex with? Or has it always just been--" he can't help but cringe-- "you just putting up with it because you thought you were supposed to?"

"Calliope," Dream says instantly, and Hob lets out a relieved breath. At least it's not all bad. "Because, no matter that it ended poorly... I felt that she truly liked me. And not. Just sex."

"Okay, see?" he says. "You just have to find someone like that."

It... hurts, to try to push Dream into someone else's path. But Hob's long accepted that Dream doesn't feel that way about him. Dream rarely seems hesitant about trying to date anyone he is interested in. Surely if he felt that way about Hob, he would have made it clear by now.

"Someone," Dream echoes, looking down at their joined hands.

"Just because what you want isn't common doesn't mean it's not out there," Hob says, trying to be encouraging. "And hey, if you know now, you can avoid the whole 'not on the same page' rigamarole, hm?"

"Yes," Dream says. "I suppose so." Finally he takes back his hands, instead taking another apple slice from the plate Hob's left on the coffee table and chewing on it slowly.

I would love you right, Hob thinks, unwanted, unbidden. It's not a productive thought, and it's a painful one, too.

"Perhaps I will take a break," Dream decides, though doesn't sound entirely happy about it.

"Could be good," Hob says. "Get your head on right."

"Yes," Dream agrees. "This has been. Illuminating. I thank you for your counsel. I suppose I will have to also thank Cori, 'dickhead' though he may be."

And with that he retreats to his room, still seeming a little off-kilter. And Hob can't help but feel like he's gone wrong somewhere, said something wrong, though he doesn't know where, or what.

#i don't actually know if you specifically wanted dreamling or what whoops #dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #my writing #ask #anonymous #ace dream #left it on a cliffhanger goddammit but they just didn't seem emotionally aware enough to confess their feelings then XD

[howtofightwrite]

Speaking of martial competence, do you have any examples of characters that are actually written with this in mind?

Loads. Some actually even make good on that.

So, there's different kinds of martial competence. There are characters who are proficient in combat directly, there are well written strategists, there are characters who excel at military leadership, and when they're written well, you can actuallylearn some things from them.

I'm going to give some examples, and at least one cautionary example.

For, just, raw combat prowess, I still go back to Robert E. Howard's Conan short stories. It's easy to meme on the character, especially 90 years after the fact, with the cultural persona that's grown around him, but Howard's original writing is excellent. The character would not have survived Howard's early (and, frankly, tragic) death if it was just the one note gag you might expect, if your only exposure to the character was through cultural osmosis and the films.

Howard's fight scenes were shockingly well written. To the point that it is still absolutely worth reading if you want to write a fantasy fighter.

For strategists, three characters come to mind, but only two are literary, and all are Science Fiction.

Grand Admiral Thrawn is probably one of the best villains Star Wars has ever produced, it's part of why he's one of the few characters that's migrated from the original EU to the Disney era. My personal take is, as a character, he's lost a lot over the years, but the original incarnation from the early 90s novels is a very solid model for a strategist. Particularly in how he takes time to understand his opponents while looking for potential weak points to exploit.

His practice of studying a culture's art to understand their psychology might sound a bit goofy, but the concept does have a real basis. (At least, until it metastasized into a superpower, in later adaptations of the character.) Being able to psychologically assess your foe is an incredibly valuable element of strategy, and one that you probably want to consider when you're writing a character who is supposed to be a “strategic genius.”

When writing fiction, you want to consider all of your characters as if they were people, rather than as hollow, plastic toys. And, yes, the obnoxious villain who knows exactly what your heroes will do because of authorial fiat is going to be a more compelling character than the ambulatory goldfish villain who exists as a prelude for your heroes showing off how badass you think they are.

Granted, even in Heir to the EmpireThrawn was already drawing strategic insights that strained credibility, but understanding your foe is an element of strategic thinking that is often forgotten in literature. So, even as a villain in a tie-in novel (we're not done with tie-in fiction yet), he is worth looking at. At least when written by Timothy Zhan, Thrawn was a well written character, and even if he bordered on a Mary Sue at times, he escaped a lot of that stigma by justifying his competence.

It's also probably worth mentioning in passing that he's one of the few Imperial leaders in Star Wars who isn't also criminally incompetent.

The non-literary example of a strategist would be John Sheridan from Babylon 5. Unlike Thrawn, Sheridan's main strategic focus is on situational exploitation. A little of that comes from his knowledge of enemy procedures and psychology, but at lot of it comes from a rather ruthless approach to technical limitations. An alien race is using technology that blocks human targeting systems? Set up a nuclear mine and then send out a fake distress single to lure them in. Need to deal with a significantly larger, more dangerous ship? Lure them into a gas giant and and let the planet's gravity well drag them past crush depth. Bruce Boxleitner's performance helped sell the character, but Sheridan is a really solid science fiction strategist, who really exemplifies how technical limitations can have enormous strategic considerations.

I'm not citing Sheridan as an excellent example of a leader per se,it's certainly there, but it is harder to unpack from Boxleitner's performance. It does have some good payoffs much later in the series when he starts making some orders that cause his subordinates to sit up and stop what they're doing. And that is a consistent theme even back to his introduction, but, it's a tangible consequence to an intangible cause.

The last example is a negative example, both for strategy and leadership. And, as much as it pains me to say this, at least Orson Scott Card understood that Ender was a bad leader. At least in the original novel. To be blunt, Ender is a mediocre strategist at best. His highlights in the book involve, “inventing armor,” and creative movement in micrograv. That's setting the bar exceptionally low, and while it is reasonably within the range of what you could expect from a pre-teen, that's not much of a justification.

Again, I'm not a fan of Card, and I'm reallynot recommending Ender's Gameto anyone. However, if I didn't mention it, you know there'd be a reblog going for twelve hundred words about how Andrew Wiggin is the best strategist in literature, which, yeah, no.

Do you want a goofy, tie-in fiction, literary suggestion for the best leader in sci-fi? Too bad, because I'm pretty sure Ciaphas Cain is not that person. The Ciaphas Cain novels by Sandy Mitchell are unusual as leadership recommendations, because of how much Cain internally processes the social manipulation involved in military leadership. He's not a great leader, but he is exceptionallygood at explaining to the reader how he's creating that illusion to motivate the soldiers around him. In fairness, some of that is an intrinsic character flaw, he is incredibly insecure, and desperately trying to hide that fact. And the difference between being a great leader, and effectively creating a comprehensive illusion of a great leader is: There is no difference. As a serious complement, it is one of the few times I've seen an author treat leadership as an actual skill, and not simply an extension of a character's charisma. Which is why I'm singling this one out. It might sound like a joke inclusion initially, and the books are quite funny in a Warhammer 40k kind of way, but there is quite a bit of  value to be had.

-Starke

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#writing advice #writing reference #writing tips #how to fight write #starke answers #Babylon 5 #Grand Admiral Thrawn #Ciaphas Cain

[bluedalahorse]

I think I’ll say this once, since I need to say it before I can move on to more excited posting about promos and things:

Obviously Young Royals means a lot to me. It’s become another way for me to connect with my hyphenated-American heritage and to start teaching myself Swedish again. It helped me survive a pretty brutal year of bullying at work. It made me confident enough to start the process of getting formally evaluated for autism and ADHD. I’ve been writing a 200k+ historical AU fanfic for YR—the kind of fic I always read and adored back in fandoms when I was younger, the kind of fic I wanted to write myself. I’m proud of the way that Heart and Homeland has made me a better writer, and I’m glad for the way it’s deepened my friendship with @heliza24. It is Young Royals in part that inspired by thesis on restorative justice in YA literature. When I was in the hospital last fall because I almost had a literal stroke from stress, I was comforted and kept calm by the fact that I was wearing a YR t-shirt and had a plush doll of a YR character sitting in my lap. And all of that is the short list.

As we come close to the release date, I hope that every single member of the fandom gets something they enjoy in the new season. I don’t think every person is going to get everything they want, but I genuinely hope there’s a moment, a scene, a line that brings them joy. We’ve all stuck with this series for a while, and I want us all to have something we can take with us. A little bit of sparkle for the road, if you will.

There’s of course the possibility that some of us get a lot of what we want, and others of us are let down. I know this was the case for season 2, and it feels naive to imagine that everyone in the fandom will be equally satisfied by season 3. I’ve got my fingers crossed that I’ll enjoy the hell out of it, but I’m also trying to prepare my heart in case it’s not what I wanted. I’m trying to gently talk to myself right now and say that even if the third season leaves me upset and unsatisfied—even if the writing takes a nosedive or it’s good writing but it’s just not what I wanted—that I still learned a lot about crafting stories and being myself and surviving hardship and thinking about systems and whatever else, from this show. That my experience with the first two seasons still matters, that my work on my fic is something to be proud of. If season 3 is a disappointment, Heart and Homeland will be my new canon. I’m sure there are other people out there talking themselves up in this way too. I know we’re all pushing through the pre-season jitters.

The other thing I’m trying to reconcile right now is how I feel about the promotional material that’s come out, and the conversations around that. Like on my own, I actually feel pretty great? It’s fun to see the new stuff come in? But then I think about the ratio of Wilmon to other things and some of the responses I’m seeing to that. And I see people say like “oh the show is back to focusing on what’s actually good about it” and “it’s great that they’re doing this because the audience doesn’t really care about characters who aren’t Wilmon.” And… hello? Aren’t I the audience? Tumblr isn’t too bad (most of the time) but then there’s like, Instagram, where the Netflix Nordic posted whole set of photos of different pairs and friendships from a whole bunch of shows, and there was one (1) picture of Sara and Rousseau and I saw enough comments where people were like “ew! Vomit! Give us Wilmon instead!” that like… y’all. Frida Argento is a human being and a damn good actress, and Lisa is a good writer of female characters, and like. We can celebrate that, once in a while. We can create space for her too. It’s not Frida OR Omar and Edvin. It’s Frida AND Omar AND Edvin AND Nikita AND Malte AND Nathalie AND Mimmi AND Fabian AND Samuel AND… look I could keep on listing but I’m going to get distracted if I do.

Like, man. I love Wilmon. Don’t get me wrong. I love the complexity their relationship can run with. There are lines heliza has written for them in fic that make me swoon and I am giddy about the part where I get to read them first. I love the glowsticks. I love Wilmon’s sense of humor and the part where they cheated at Vincent’s rowing race thing and their utmost commitment to being dumbass teenage boys against the world. The first week I saw the show and came into work (where we have an athletic field) I went and took a selfie on the field after covering my hands in those gross fake dots. Look. I am all in.

And also… I came to the show for Wilmon but I stayed for so much more. I would have watched Young Royals once or twice and said “that was pleasant” without ever getting back into fanfic after a decade away, if the show was only Wilmon. I do like Wilmon, but it wasn’t Wilmon who inspired my thesis on restorative justice or made me a better writer overall. I survived that year of bullying at work because I could come home and write my ensemble fanfic, especially the parts where I focused on the non-Wilmon pairing I was in charge of writing. I finally felt confident enough to be evaluated for AuDHD because of a connection I felt to a character who wasn’t Simon or Wilhelm. It was a plush doll of a non-Wilmon character who sat in my lap and kept me calm while I was hooked up to those scary machines in the hospital this past October.

I guess my one humble request is that people be thoughtful about how they use phrases like “everyone thinks” or “no one wants.” Not every member of the fandom has the same opinion, and not every member wants the same things out of season 3, and there are some of us who are happy about the new Wilmon content but who are still feeling a little hungry for more of our most beloved characters, and hope they’ll get meaningful storylines (and not get ignored) in season 3. I do know we probably won’t all get what we want, and that some of us will probably get more of what we want than others. I hope that whatever happens, we’ll all get something we want, and we can all be gracious about it, and continue to find meaning in the canon.

For the people here on tumblr who are already including me in their everyone… thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope you know who you are and I hope you know how much I appreciate you. And I do hope this Little Fandom That Could can keep going into all sorts of new creative places.

#young royals #young royals season 3 #young royals season 3 spoilers #yrs3 spoilers

[mxcat777]

So what if

Dream is sort of Shakespeare's patron, right? So would that make Shakespeare on of His™? And if so, would he reside in the Dreaming after his death instead of the Sunless Lands?

'cause if so. Consider.

He's still writing. (A lot)

He keeps up with modern literature, but keeps writing (at least mostly) in Early Modern English (that's it, right? Do I have my lit facts straight?). Imagine his recent plays littered with slang, disney references, (un)subtle references to shit that was based on his stuff that he either loves or hates, both are good.

He's kind of a favourite of Dream's. The same way Lucienne and Jessamy and The Corinthian are. He can get away with saying shit, because if he offends Dream he can turn around and start sprouting some poetry at that vain-ass bitch and all is forgiven. (In the worst cases it takes a new play about his royal majesty the Dream King and how generous and benevolent and regal he is)

Fishbowling happens, not sure what Will would do, the plot bunny didn't care.

Dream is back, all is well, he goes to the New Inn, Hob and Dream are now officially Friends.

They meet up more bc friends see each other more often than once a century. Oh yeah friends also know each others' names and such. So Dream tells Hob a bit about himself.

At some point he's like, hey hob u wanna see the dreaming?

Hob's like yES PLz??

Hob gets a tour, and from that point on usually gets the option at night to dream normally or visit the palace.

On one fateful night, Hob decides to take a stroll through the library, goes looking for Marlowe's shelf, because he kind of wonders what other stuff that genius would have written had he lived longer.

Only to (maybe literally) bump into, you guessed it, Will Bloody Shaxberd.

He stares.

Will goes 'hey'.

And then Hob goes somewhat feral.

(no he is not over it, sue him, he's allowed to hold a grudge.)

He goes off on a rant about, see, ofc ur still plagiarizing marlowe he was so much better i can't believe dream left me for you you useless twat you couldn't write shit without him so why did you get the fucking privilege of living with him and knowing him for fucking centuries i had to fight 600 years for his bloody name and i'm guessing you got it right that first meeting hm?

And Will goes oh shit it's you! And then cuts Hob off with a "you're so right! I was an absolute shit playwright before your friend helped me!"

And Hob is... Understandably lost. This was not how it went in his head.

And then Will continues, I was so nervous the time right after that meeting, I knew he was some sort of supernatural being, no clue what though, he's really not good at introductions, is he, so I sort of assumed you were too, and I was waiting for your revenge for stealing your date away, recently found out you're actually human, albeit immortal, and it was not a date, though, speaking of, have you sorted yourselves out yet?

And Hob, quite understandably even more baffled, sort of gapes for a bit.

Before very nervously denying anything of the sort.

Will just stares.

And goes, bruv, you weren't subtle then, still aren't now, spare everyone else the UST, please, for the love of god, you two need to fuck post haste.

And Hob is like, hahaha, eh, yeah, nope, fun seeing you, BYE.

So Will sighs. And goes to see Lucienne, as any sensible person would.

Lucienne sighs as well. At which point Will steps to Dream himself.

"My lord?" "Yes, William?" "Forgive my directness, but so as not to risk any misunderstandings, what exactly is your relationship with Hob Gadling?" "We are friends. Why do you ask? Is that not clear?" "Well, to be perfectly honest, m'lord, I assumed you were... Involved™." "We are not." "But you'd like to be though, right?" "You dare presume to know-" " I dare presume to know what attraction, romance, love, all that looks like, sire. I must do, after portraying it in my plays for over four centuries. After writing several hundreds of sonnets on the topic." "I-" "In my humble opinion, my lord, it is a good match. He understands you, you continue to fascinate each other, he can provide a safe place where you need not be monarch for a moment. And of course, you are quite obviously attracted to one another sexually." "WILLIAM SH-" "Oh calm down! I'm certainly not judging either of you!" "...he is attracted to me?" "..." "Is he?" "YES! Lord give me faith! Kiss him! Go to him and teleport the both of you onto a bed! Or if you want to be sappy go slow and bring him a rose, but please, for the love of the collective sanity, do something!" "But how do you know? What if you misunderstood? What if it is unwelcome? I cannot lose him!"

At which point Will turns around, leaves the throne room, goes back to the library and rant to Lucienne

"I swear I'm going to write a play about them, just to point out how stupid this is. I feel compelled to call it a tragedy, but I think it needs to have a happy ending, otherwise Lord Broodphius would get stuck on the but what if it does end in tragedy, so I suppose a comedy would be fitting, but then again, this is too painful to watch to qualify as a comedy. Tragic comedy? Comic tragedy? I'll figure it out..."

And Lucienne is like, if you'd like to perform it properly I'm sure there are a few dreams who would be more than willing to help out, take on a role.

Hob comes back to the Dreaming a few days later and finds Will up to his elbows in paper, reference books, thesauruses and rhyming dictionaries (handy things those), and empty mugs and the like.

Will looks up, somewhat manic, and is like, Hob! Great! Just the person I wanted to see! Would you help me, please?

Hob's like, sure? Kind of apprehensive, but he gave everything some thought and decided that as long as he could go on dunking on him, he could let go of most of his jealousy (cuz that's what is was, he's mature enough to admit)

Will goes, Awesome! Tell me about you and Morphius! How do you see him, what's your story, I only ever get bits and pieces from his lordship, so I'm in severe need of some context...

And Hob is somewhat suspicious, but he indulges him, and really, telling the story comes too easy, so he gets into it completely and doesn't even notice when he starts slipping into rants about Dream, about how beautiful, and magnificent, and misunderstood, and kind, and way-out-of-his-league-but-god-dammit-he-went-and-fell-in-love-with-the-bastard-anyway he is

And Will takes studious notes.

And then goes like, so some of the sonnets I've written were with you two in mind, you wanna give me some feedback? (Ahem, sonnet 24/29, some others work too, undoubtedly, but I am no Shakespeare expert, unfortunately)

And he does something similar with Dream, maybe citing Hob's dislike of him as the reason he wants to know more about him without having to bother him overly much, like, I want to set things right between us, but I need to know more about him to do that, will you help me, m'lord

And he does

And Will just sits back and takes notes as Dream also spirals into a passion fueled rant about Hob

And all those notes end up in the eventual play

Auditions for the roles happen when Dream and Hob are out on a Not Date™ in the Waking.

There are surprisingly many auditioning for Hob's role, and surprisingly little for Dream's

Until Will points out that Dream would probably be more offended by an unworthy portrayal of his Love that of himself, at which point some of the dreams bow out entirely, bc Will knows how vain their lord is, so they decide not to risk unmaking and tactically retreat

Will is in his fucking element, it's been way too long since he's properly directed a play!

Eventually Will comes up to the Mutually Pining Idiots like, hey m'lord, Hob, I've written a new play, and I've been working with some of the dreams to make it happen, do you want to see??

So they watch. They watch as two absolute fucking idiots stumble around each other, everyone on and off stage can see how stupidly in love they are except for them, and both start sweating profusely when they start recognizing their own words quoted back at them.

The end of the play is something of a direct call-out and a plea from the dreams to please just talk to each other, fuck and get married, preferably in that order, but they're not picky.

Then everyone leaves them alone for the Conversation that is most likely going to happen.

Will stays behing hiding unobtrusively in the shadows tho.

He's not about to let all his work go to waste if these idiots ty to play it off again. He will lock them in a broom closet if he has to, watch him.

They don't.

Luckily.

There are like three sentences total spoken. Then they're aggressively making out.

Will leaves the room very content about his matchmaking skills.

And hey! He got a good play out of it, if he does say so himself!

#the sandman #dream of the endless #dreamling #dream #hob gadling #the sandman netflix #centennial husbands #dream x hob #hob x dream #morpheus #morpheus x hob #hob x morpheus #will shaxberd #hob hates shakespeare #plot bunny #i say bunny #but at this point it's a hare #this got long #and way out of hand #honestly it just started with hib stumbling across shakespeare in the dreaming #and ranting to him #and will being surprisingly mature and such #then this happened #lucienne #and will #just sighing over these #idiots #together #mutual pining #idiots to lovers

[megistusdiary]

I’m not sure if you’ve written for Xiao yet… but I’m always curious of how people interpret his.. libido to say the least, considering he’s an adeptus and doesn’t feel emotion the same way humans do.

Maybe a shy Xiao were he’s not really sure HOW to ask reader to sleep with him so he tries to give “subtle” hint but they really aren’t as subtle as he thinks.

BTW I love your writing ahhhh

(Can I claim an emoji.. idk how that works tbh I never leave asks so if I can… could I be like, 🥀 anon?? Thanks!!! 💜)

hi there! of course you can be 🥀 anon, welcome to my page :D i'm also very happy you like my writing ♡♡♡ tysm for reading

also i have actually only written two pieces for xiao which are as follows:

1) jealous dom xiao

2) consensual somno with dom xiao

i like to think that xiao doesn't know much about sex except that when done between a male and female, you can create another human sometimes

he doesn't really understand the love-making part of intercourse, so i have an idea of who he would try to ask lol

honestly this has a lot of plot. i have been writing so much these past few days, phew! when i have the time, i am a writing machine haha

warnings: switch!xiao and switch!fem anatomy/pronouns reader

nervous xiao, handjob (xiao receiving), lots of touching/making out lol, first-time sex for both of you :) , lube, fingering/penetration (reader receiving), soft ♡, kissing, baizhu is here but just as a side character because i ♡ him

the leather-bound book sat heavy on your desk in xiao's memory, unable to remove itself from his thoughts.

slightly worn around the edges and held closely to your face while you read it, lips thoroughly bitten. you seemed to think you were so sly when you hid that book behind you whenever he mentioned it.

so it was unusual that he had found it on your desk, for once unguarded by your form. xiao innocently opened the unlabeled cover to see what you had been reading so intently this week.

barely a few sentences in to the page, he immediately realized this was some type of erotic book. he was unfamiliar with some of these terms, purely from a lack of knowledge of human intimacies.

when he finally reached the end of the page, he snapped out of his trance, slamming the book shut with so much force it scattered the pages of your report to the floor.

never had the yaksha been more thoroughly embarrassed, cheeks stained red as he clutched his head.

he knew humans were odd, but he had never seen such a crude book. he never pegged you for the type to be interested in such things. how could one want to read about the act of producing a child?

odd.

perhaps that's how xiao ended up seeking out a personal consultation with the popular pharmacist from bubu pharmacy.

as uncomfortable as it was, the doctor was happy to make his acquaintance, keeping an even-toned expression when he welcomed the yaksha in after hours.

"i understand these concepts might be unfamiliar to you, though i mean no disrespect. these types of things are different from public displays of affection, and they aren't so easily written in literature."

xiao begged to differ based upon that book you left out so haphazardly on your desk for anyone to see.

he allowed the doctor to explain things in the most scientific way possible, trying to remain calm and collected until the yaksha suddenly held up a hand to stop him.

"i...appreciate your effort, but i already understand the act of procreation. i just don't..comprehend why humans seem to enjoy it so much."

baizhu paused, determining the best way to answer the question before he finally understood why xiao really wanted to see him. "i see. you're asking about why lovers like it so much." baizhu barely stifled a chuckle. "to be honest, it's been a while since i have done that myself, but it isn't so much about the act itself."

"how so?"

"it's about being vulnerable with someone. allowing them to see all of you while you see all of them. it's hard to let ourselves be open with everyone, especially if we have a particularly traumatic past. it can lead to becoming guarded." xiao frowned at this. "but, when you're with someone special, a normally uncomfortable situation becomes tender. intercourse becomes love-making." baizhu scratched the back of his neck, wondering if any of this was even sticking. "ah, i'm sorry if-"

xiao abruptly stood, silencing the doctor. "no need to apologize. i understand now. thank you for your time, doctor."

"oh, before you go-" baizhu stood up slower than xiao, reaching behind the counter to collect a small brown bag. "it might not be my place, but i always see mr. zhongli from the wangsheng funeral parlor here collecting peculiarly strong medicine for someone in liyue. it might be presumptuous of me, but, here." he held the bag out towards xiao. "it'll save mr. zhongli a trip here."

xiao gingerly took the bag, holding it in one palm before practically vanishing before baizhu's eyes. the pharmacist smiled to himself, shaking his head before locking up the pharmacy doors and heading home.

it had been a few days since then, and after continuous thinking, he finally decided it was the right time to ask you to do this with him.

you seemed to thoroughly enjoy that book, so surely, it would be even better to experience the real thing, no?

although, xiao had no idea how to bring this to your attention without sounding crude. why was he so nervous about something so simple? he was a yaksha. why were trivial human matters frightening to him?

when you finally came home that evening, you were surprised to see xiao waiting for you, standing in the doorway at attention, watching you almost drop your bag.

"oh, xiao-" you held a hand over your heart, laughing to yourself. "you scared me a little there."

you walked past him, opting to unpack your bag as xiao focused his steel gaze upon your form. "i don't know if you're hungry or not, but i brought your favorite." you turned, holding the container of almond tofu with a big grin.

you expected to see the usual hint of a smile on his own lips, though he seemed to remain neutral as you frowned slightly. "hey, is something wrong?" you started to feel concerned, worried you had upset the yaksha.

xiao clenched his fists as he huffed. "it's nothing. i appreciate the gesture."

you deflated a bit, causing xiao to feel that slight burn in his chest. guilt, he assumed. "alright, sure. i'll leave it here for you." you set the container back on the counter, rubbing your eyes as you put the rest of your things away.

xiao could take it no longer, wishing desperately to get this idea out of his head. "i read your book." he softly blurted out as you slowly turned towards him on your heels.

"what book-"

"the book."

"oh..." you fell silent, face feeling hot as you coughed. "well, i am, uh, sorry for traumatizing you with that, so...yeah." you averted your eyes, screaming at yourself inside your head. how could you forget to put that book back under your pillow? xiao was definitely going to disappear forever now. well done.

"do you want to try...that."

your eyes practically popped out from your skull, covering your mouth. "try what now?"

"intercourse. with- me."

xiao's face was as red as a tomato as you stared at him shocked. "i knew this was a foolish idea, i apologize for offending you. this is an insult to-"

"no!" you yelled out, moving your hands to his shoulders. "no, no, no you're misunderstanding!" you shook your head. "xiao, do you really mean it? you'd try it? with me?"

xiao nodded once, surprised by your overdramatic reaction. was it really as good as baizhu explained it to be?

he also wondered if his karmic debt would weigh too heavily on you for a moment before you gasped, shaking his shoulders with your excited gestures.

"oh, xiao, i...i wanted to ask you for a really long time. i just- i thought you'd never want to. and i never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable." you explained as xiao finally understood.

so you did want to create a child with him? to be honest, he wasn't quite sure if it was even possible, though he had heard stories of half adeptus children in liyue, namely that very popular lawyer woman.

"i'm willing to try." xiao nodded. he allowed you to excitedly lead him to the bedroom, stumbling over your own feet as you pulled him to the bed.

"there's really no need to be nervous." you told him sweetly, cradling his face between your palms as he willed himself to relax.

you were correct, and he hated to admit that a human was more wise than him.

you slowly leaned forward. "is this okay?" you questioned, noses nearly touching as he nodded, staying still and allowing you to approach him. you carefully pressed your lips to his, rubbing your thumbs across his cheekbones as you smiled into his mouth.

xiao's eyes fluttered shut as he allowed you to guide him, keeping his hands at his sides, awkwardly clutching at the blankets. you gently pulled away, feeling him lean forward to chase your lips before catching himself and opening his eyes.

you reached towards his hands now, holding them gently and placing them on your waist as you climbed into his lap. "there, that's better." you commented, kissing him deeper, swiping your tongue across the seam of his lips.

shockingly, xiao seemed to understand this gesture, parting his lips and allowing you to slide your tongue into his mouth. he seemed to find this sensation odd, gripping your hips a little tighter when you shifted against him.

he felt warm when you moved over his hips, pressing your weight down onto him as he groaned, feeling the strange sensations.

you smirked, grinding down against him as he leaned away, panting with spit-slicked lips as you held onto his shoulders tighter. "does that feel good?" you asked as his eyes closed once more, eyebrows furrowing. you giggled a little before stopping, hips growing tired before you suddenly let out a soft moan when xiao started moving your hips for you.

it was easy to forget his inhuman strength when he looked so soft. his grip was tight as he moved you at his leisure, inexperienced yet curious.

"have you- done this before?" you asked him, feeling warmth building in your core as xiao shook his head.

"never." he answered before pulling you against him once more, trembling a bit. "have you?" from the way you spoke and read it so freely, he was shocked to see you shyly shake your head.

"no...i was waiting for the right person." you admitted sheepishly. "i wanted it to be special." you smiled up at him, kissing his cheek.

xiao realized you were talking about him, making it feel like he had crystalflies in his stomach.

"here, i want to try something." you moved off his lap, opting to tug at the waistband of his pants. "we both take off some clothes so it isn't as awkward, okay?"

xiao was perplexed when he watched you shyly pull of your jacket. "i assumed it was normal to strip during this act. is it not natural?"

"huh?"

"being nude. why would you be uncomfortable with the idea?"

you paused, mouth opening and closing as you tried to think of an excuse. in that time, xiao took it upon himself to fully strip. "i have no shame in this form. i took it many years ago in honor of my savior. it is something of pride and loyalty. your form is to be respected." xiao reminded you as your eyes widened.

"well...okay." you took a deep breath, removing the rest of your clothing to match xiao as he carefully folded the fabric, placing it on the chair near the bed. "come here." you gestured as he moved towards you. "lean against the headboard."

xiao did as you commanded, feeling your gaze burn against his skin when you trailed your eyes down his body. you stopped just above his groin, feeling embarrassed as you leaned forward.

"oh! i almost forgot, i actually had something, well uh...just in case." you laughed nervously, reaching over to your nightstand, pulling out a small bottle of liquid.

"what is that?"

"it's supposed to make it easier by making your skin more slippery." you explained, uncapping the bottle to pour some on your fingers. "it'll feel much better with this. or so i've heard."

"from who?"

"...sources."

you ignored xiao's huff, carefully tracing a finger along his shaft as his hips jumped. "sensitive." you smiled, feeling his thighs go tense as you swirled your finger around the tip, playing with the slit as his cock slowly grew harder, leaning up against his stomach.

you moved your hand around him, carefully stroking in a gentle motion as he let out a groan from the slick sounds of your hand on his skin. "it...feels good, but strange-" xiao's hands clenched on the sheets as you moved your hand up and down, using the other hand to play with his heavy balls as he gasped.

as expected, he didn't last long, reaching his first orgasm quickly, coming all over your hand and his stomach, feeling sticky on your fingers as you gently eased him through his orgasm. he relaxed against the headboard, watching as you smiled to yourself.

the expression slowly faded when you realized he was still hard...?

"what- xiao, that's...weird? that's not supposed to happen."

xiao looked perplexed. "i thought humans are capable of enduring multiple orgasms."

"i mean, yeah, with breaks- they don't just keep going-" xiao cut you off by pulling you towards him, pressing your body to his.

"what do i do to return this favor?"

"well, i guess the equivalent would be fingering me? i'm not really sure about that though because-!" xiao reached his hand down to press against your wet cunt, feeling your hips jump against his touch. "xiao, hold on, i'm sensitive-"

he pressed his free hand against your fingers, collecting the leftover lube to press against your cunt, rolling his fingers over the skin messily. "xiao, there's a specific way to do it." your cheeks burned. "i'll show you." with one hand, you gripped his shoulder, the other reaching down to wrap around his wrist, feeling around for your clit until you positioned his finger pads just right.

"oh- there." you sighed, moving his fingers in circles as you moved your hips to match the motion.

"is this...adequate?"

"very," you laughed breathlessly. "but, i need you to do something else for me too."

"anything."

"before we try to put your...you know in me, i need to be, how should i say this, stretched out? they say it really hurts the first time...and i guess i'm just a little nervous because-"

"i promise i won't let anything hurt you." you were taken aback by xiao's sudden oath, looking deep into your eyes as your lips parted. "tell me what i need to do."

you carefully moved his hand down towards your hole, allowing him to feel for himself. "here?" he asked.

"yeah, just press in but be gentle, please." you whimpered as he dipped the tip of his index finger in, gently pushing as you shifted uncomfortably. "feels weird."

xiao stayed silent, eyebrows furrowed by the strange texture around his finger. it was tight, yet soft, wet, and warm as you sucked the digit in. he stuck another next to it, feeling you grip his shoulder tightly, hand falling from his wrist as you dug your nails into his bicep. "archons-"

he continued to push the digits in and out, sometimes moving his fingers a bit. he recalled baizhu explaining some of this. he called it 'fingering' or something along the lines. a fitting name indeed.

eventually you stopped him, gesturing for him to remove his fingers as he frowned. "is something wrong?"

"no, no, i just- i think i'm ready." you took a deep breath as he nodded.

he positioned his tip at your entrance, watching you worry your lip between your teeth as you felt it slowly enter you, tensing your body as he hissed.

"don't do that-" he groaned, grabbing your hips. "relax your muscles, it's too...tight."

you tried to relax, eyes tearing up slightly. it was not as excruciating as you expected, though the stretch did burn, and once you finally got through the hard part, xiao paused.

he allowed you to lean on him, taking shallow breaths as he smoothed a hand down your back. baizhu told him to be patient. he explained you would need time to adjust, that it could be painful taking something in your body this way.

xiao was glad he listened, finally feeling your heartbeat slow as he gently soothed you, albeit stiffly.

"are you okay?" he asked, feeling you nod against his shoulder. he carefully moved his hips experimentally, feeling you clutch your arms around his neck for stability, still pressed to his chest as he hummed, picking up the pace gradually.

you allowed him to buck into you at different angles, feeling him shiver as you kissed at his neck, humming into his skin.

"ah-" you suddenly arched when he hit your g-spot unexpectedly, eyes closing as xiao looked concerned. "that was- good, that was a good spot and-"

he pressed into it again, maintaining the angle of his hips as you trembled. "no, no, i'm gonna come if you keep doing that, xiao." you panicked, though he paid no mind, hearing going static as he continued to fuck up into you. "xiao-" you whined as he held you close to him.

he felt your soft breaths on his skin, hair tickling his neck as you suddenly jolted. "oh- i'm close, i'm really close, xiao, xiao-" you moaned lowly, desperately holding back.

"why are you afraid to experience orgasm?" xiao asked, breaking you from your stupor.

"huh?"

"why?"

"you...i need to keep up with you, xiao. if i- fuck, if i come now...you won't get to and i-"

"i don't mind." xiao admitted, focusing on the feeling of you squeezing around him. "i wanted to know what this was like. i didn't understand why humans were so fond of such things."

he reached down with a hand, sliding it down your stomach to press into your clit as you gasped. how did he remember where-

right. yaksha.

he had you trembling against him, orgasm washing over you as you went slack, leaning onto him and crying out his name as he shuddered, leaning back as you continued to squeeze him oh so tightly.

you felt blissed out as you slowly regained your senses, vision coming back to you as you smiled up at him.

your body still felt tingly, limbs numb as he slowly slid out of you. xiao could tell you were out of it, eyes hazy as he leaned down to kiss your head tenderly.

perhaps human intimacies weren't all completely useless.

#🥀─ 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯 ˚ૢ⋆˚ #genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader smut #xiao smut #xiao #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #switch xiao #💌─𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘭! ༊*·˚ #✎─𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 ❛ ༉‧₊˚

[dangerousdan-dan]

I sincerely believe that it's important and beneficial to learn how to distinguish the tone from the theme when interacting with a story.

The thing is, a lot of times dark themes are immediately cataloged as bad (or the other way around, when something is deemed harmless because it's fiction) just because we can't properly discern the - let's call it - "intention" or "purpose" of what we're reading (I say reading because my main field of study is literature, but I think this is also valid in other forms of media).

Truth be told, you can write and read about literally anything, but it's important to pay attention and to be critical about the language and the focus that's being used to do so.

Please keep in mind that when I say focus, I don't mean perspective. You can read a story from the perspective of the most despicable human to ever exist, but the key is in being critical of how it's done. What language is being used to do it? Is the purpose to make you feel disgusted? To alienate you from the experience? Or is it actively looking to make you sympathize with this person? Is it taking all its focus on the morbid details just for the sake of it? Or are these relevant to the narrative? Is the focus on denouncing the acts of the character? How are traumatic experiences portrayed? Under what light are the victims described? Does it perpetuate misogynistic, racist or other dangerous notions?

This is just an example, but it can be applied to almost everything. It's like when you're watching a movie, and the camera chooses to focus on the ass of the main actress during a chasing sequence. It's a minor detail, but it sets the tone of what you're watching, and it's up to you to say "yep, this movie doesn't give a fuck about its female characters", and that statement can be true even when the theme of the movie is powerful women.

#I've been talking about this with a couple of mutuals and friends and it got me thinking about how #media literacy is almost always at surface level (if it's even there at all) #but it's important to go a little deeper than that and to learn how to form your own criteria #beyond the simple white and black lenses #it's CRUCIAL to ask yourself “what's the intention of this?” when you interact with anything #anyway I know this is the piss on the poor website so let's see how this goes #media literacy

[tiktowafel]

Headcanons for Neito Monoma?

yup here you go! tagging @fabpops1 because she also asked for Monoma headcanons

no coloring today because the one i made two years ago sucks and i don't feel like remaking it :'D honestly i feel like Horikoshi and I both half-assed his casual clothing sketch lol

him and his parents were all born in Japan but he has some relatives in Belgium, whom he really enjoys visiting. it's the main reason why he seems so interested in european culture (his profile page states he likes french cuisine and franco-belgian comics)

he can also speak french very well thanks to that

he's also fluent in english (though he has trouble understanding Pony sometimes - he's much better at reading and writing than he is at listening) and has a basic knowledge of several other languages. he doesn't really expect it to come handy at any point in the future, he just learns them because he finds it fun

besides that he also likes history, classic literature, theatre... yeah this guy is a huge humanities-leaning nerd and i don't accept criticism

nor do i accept the fact that he's supposed to be a bad student in canon?? like, he's so smart and also competitive, no way he isn't top of the class... he may not be as good in science and math as he is in japanese and history, but nothing an all-nighter can't fix

in middle school he was part of the drama and debate clubs. and while hero course students aren't supposed to join clubs because they should focus on hero work, he managed to argue his way into the same clubs in UA by saying that his theatrics and speeches are an important part of his hero persona. Kuroiro joined the drama club alongside him (didn't contribute to the argument at all, just nodded wisely every time Monoma presented a point)

class 1-B's culture festival performance being a stage play was actually his idea! it didn't really go the way he intended (he did NOT expect it to turn into a four-way crossover more ambitious than infinity war) but he greatly enjoyed performing in it anyway! maybe even too much

his knowledge of quirks rivals Midoriya's. he researches them a lot mostly to help his copy quirk but also out of genuine curiosity

he often helps his classmates with training their quirks and comes up with new techniques to try out. he's particularly good at it because he can actually try other people's quirks himself, which gives him a better understanding of how they function and what their limitations are

^ which is why i believe he'd make an awesome hero course teacher!! (in all might's role - i don't think making him anyone's homeroom teacher would be a good idea, he'd be just as biased towards his class as he is now lmao) it's definitely one of my favorite "future" headcanons

he praises his classmates' quirks a lot and says he considers them all great, but he does have preferences when it comes to copying them

his favorites are Yanagi's poltergeist (somewhat boring, but easy to understand and very versatile both in battle and everyday life), Tokage's lizard tail splitter (he almost died when he copied it for the first time because he barely managed to put his body back together before his quirk's time limit ran out, but that didn't stop him - he always found Tokage's quirk very fun and useful, so he put a lot of work into fully figuring it out and now he uses it pretty often), Shoda's twin impact (Monoma's physical strength.... leaves a lot to be desired, and the second impact always being significantly stronger than the first helps make up for it) and Kuroiro's black (you can move around very fast and it's fun :) )

quirks he does not like copying Honenuki's softening (fun, but quite difficult to control and avoiding collateral damage with such a destructive quirk is a pain in the ass. Honenuki understands that perfectly) and Shishida's beast (just... really not his thing lol)

for some reason i see a lot of people headcanon that he has pet ferrets, and you know what? i agree. he does seem like a ferret person

prefers smart clothing, a polo shirt is the most casual he'll go. he only ever wears tshirts for exercise (which he hates doing lol) and probably doesn't own a single hoodie

in general i think he has a good eye for elegant design... his dorm room is very stylish and nicely coordinated too. i think one of the light novels also describes it as "vaguely french" and yeah that fits

while he tries to keep his room neat and tidy on the outside, all his drawers and cabinets are horribly messy

he's that one kid who has like 17 different allergies and is completely useless if he forgets his meds on a spring day (spring is his least favorite season due to this. i think winter would be his fave)

luckily he is not allergic to dairy so he can eat as much stinky french cheese as he wants 👍

speaking of food i think he's a pretty good cook actually

prefers listening to older (and mostly foreign) music and is a huge snob about it

honestly he probably acts the same about movies and books too

arguing with people on the internet is one of his favorite ways to spend his free time. if there are no 1-A students around, you can always show off your impressive vocabulary by bullying random internet strangers with bad taste in movies!

almost everyone in 1-B considers him a friend despite his... anti-1a bullshit, because he's just really nice and helpful to people he likes + he's a great leader! however he's closest to Kuroiro (friendly drama king rivals! they're constantly arguing about dumb shit using the fanciest words they can think of and they're always trying to outperform each other in the drama club meetings they both attend, but they love each other trust me <3 also Monoma helps Kuroiro with studying because he sucks at school), Pony (when he's not trying to trick her into insulting 1-A he can be pretty helpful with japanese, he also likes listening to her talk about her home country), Honenuki (he's Pony's best friend, so you usually befriend them both at once, but Monoma thinks he's also interesting to talk to by himself) and Tetsutetsu (they don't share many interests but Monoma hates exercising so he has Tetsutetsu force him to do it. his positive energy certainly helps a lot)

ever since they got to know each other during their joint training fight, Monoma's been using 100% of his persuasion skills to convince Shinso to join 1-B instead of 1-A. Shinso is conflicted to say the least

aaand that's all i have for him! hope you enjoyed these!!

#most of these are really “casual” #but i think the more serious parts of his character are actually really well developed in canon (bless hori for that) #so i dont really have much to add haha #anyway thanks for the ask and sorry that it took so long #bnha #class 1b #neito monoma #monoma neito #tikto's headcanons #bnha headcanons

[artbyblastweave]

So the thing about the Slaughterhouse 9 is that that they’re kinda boring on purpose. The whole team is an exploration of the outcome of appending “fuck-you-take-me-seriously” levels of power to fundamentally middling personalities. Jack is most aggressively painted this way by the text, to the point of it being his trigger event, his power, and how he’s introduced in the story, being put on the back-foot in his very first on-screen conversation because he’s having it with someone immune to his gamebreaker power.  

But this dangerous-not-deep thing is present in almost all the nine to some degree. Crawler has no motivation beyond strength for the sake of strength. Mannequin was brainfucked into devoting his incredible genius and single-minded focus to something idiotically petty. Shatterbird plays at being cultured but she’s been on the run since she was fourteen and is working basically with whatever faintly interesting bits of culture and literature she’s been able to pick up in between killing sprees; and Jack, who she’s infatuated with, calls her out as basically doing the same trick with the glassplosion again and again. Burnscar is pathetic and spineless, Siberian is.... Siberian, Hatchet Face exists solely to depower capes and kill them with an axe because a cape injured him once. Cherish was just smart enough to realize staying with her father was a losing game and then insinuated herself into the one organization on the planet more systemically stacked with losers than the one lead by her father.

 It is not a coincidence that out of all the people the Nine approached for recruitment, the one who ended up taking them up on it was the brutal idiot who window-shopped for an ideology until he found one that aligned with how much he already enjoyed hurting people. The Nine aren’t that deep. Particularly not the ones who think they’re that deep. But they are too dangerous to ignore.

Bonesaw is the only one of the group who I don’t think of in these terms, because she’s a very clear-cut example of “if only she chose to use her powers for good” and she’s the only clear cut example of this on the team. (Mannequin’s devolvement being Simurgh-driven.) It’s genuinely very tragic that Bonesaw was created by the Nine and then monopolized by the Nine because she’s genuinely much better than them! She’s much more talented, much more versatile, fundamentally much bigger than Jack. She’s out from under his thumb for like six months and she’s helped pioneer human resurrection! The Nine Sucking outside the immediate scope of their literal power is deeply conducive to Bonesaw’s arc.

Now, the downside to this, the big downside, is that when you set out to write a bunch of people as uninteresting on purpose you run the risk of succeeding. I’ve known several people who’ve lost the plot during the s9 arc because they just found the band of faux-nihilistic murderhobos to be such an overused cliche that they lost interest. (A few who similarly lost the plot with Leviathan the Big Doomsday Kaiju.) And, you know, it’s a situation where I kind of have to just grit my teeth and dig my nails into my palms and roll with the “criticism” because, on an object level, it’s not wrong! They are cliches! The whole book is about digging up and tinkering with cliches! Which makes Worm kind of bad for people who are sick of those cliches regardless of how well they’re executed or what point they’re being used to make. If Jack is grating on a person in arc 14 what am I gonna do? Tell them to read three more War and Peaces to get to the genuinely subversive take on The Joker that recontextualizes all of Jack’s previous appearances? I could do that, but I wouldn’t see Heaven.

#worm #wildbow #parahumans #Clockblocker's speech about how it's gonna be some loser in a basement who ends the world is very very pointed! #this is adjacent to what happened to Jack! #thoughts #meta #worm thoughts #worm meta #worm web serial #jack slash #slaughterhouse 9 #bonesaw

[yougetsu]

The Fool Card

I wanted to write about this a few days ago but just had free time recently and as Hisashi confirmed it, it's better to do it now.

We already know that The Fool represents new beginning, infinite possibilities, and freedom from being bound by any boundaries. But I'd like to delve deeper into the meaning.

I'd like to clarify, I'm not an expert... I just enjoy reading about the Fool's journey from a psychological perspective and how useful tarot could be as a tool for personal growth.

Number 0 represents infinite potentiality, from which realities, life, actions, ideas emerge. This means that all things are possible because no defined form has been assumed yet. Zero also means emptiness of fears and hopes, The Fool does not wait or plan anything because he reacts instantly according to the situation he faces. This card is also connected to cards of difficult passage, like the Moon and Death, which in tough paths urges The Fool on despite his fears.

The Fool is linked to true innocence (openness to life) by trying to remain in a state of freedom and joy, which also involves being spontaneous, honest and loving naturally without judgment. This card tries to remind us that life is an uncontrollable force, a constant dance of experiences, nothing can be calculated.

We don't know further details about Imai's perspective in this area, but I do see that he embodies some characteristics of The Fool in his artistry and in his words when it comes to facing challenges.

You can read more about it in the book Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom by Rachel Pollack.

...

I'd like to talk about The Fool (愚者/gusha) in "Mudai". Again, we'll never know what the lyrics are about with certainty. However, the surrealism and metaphors in the song catch my attention and I like to look at it from a somewhat metaphysical perspective, specially in the last lines where "gusha" is mentioned.

The Fool represents someone who is about to start a journey, visually we can see that he's looking into the abyss below and is moving towards it. So, The Fool is also perceived as the seed of life, the creature that is about to take a physical form to come to the world. The figure of this card is also read as a being that it's not in the physical realms yet, that might be suspended in the universe (nothingness). Basically, something invisible is happening, before having a body and before birth, which I connect with the lyrics:

"I'm a fool

In the depths of darkness, the fool goes

I'm a fool

Touched in the head, the fool goes

I'm a fool

Covered in blood, the fool goes

I'm a fool

To the end of darkness, the fool goes"

Additionally, The Fool relates to the 'immortal' self that later becomes trapped in the confusions and struggles of the ordinary world. The self in this card has no gender defined since it is expressing their complete humanity at all time naturally. The Fool dialogues with The World card in that sense, since both complement each other to reach unity through growth and to complete the journey.

It's very interesting to see how much Atsushi's word selection can convey because most of the time he left the lyrics open to personal interpretation and at the same time, those lyrics are full of visuals and symbolism (sometimes untranslatable), which gives much more weight and depth to his work. Love his writing so much.

More info:

Tarot Tracings: Essays on Literature and Divination by Camelia Elias

#personal #buck-tick #hisashi imai

[long-life-to-bsd]

Exam season

Pairings: kunikida, dazai, ranpo, nikolai × reader

Tw: mentions of having to do an exam🥲, slightly suggestive, Dazai

Unfortunately I'm writing this to cope with the fact that tomorrow I start a very bad exam session... Yeah, let's go

KUNIKIDA

He was a math teacher and that would be very helpful because he would be super serious about you doing good on this exam.

He asks you to repeat everything out loud to him and prepares tests to help you.

He would be very strict (because he knows from his experience what his best for a student). But the second he realised he had been to harsh with you he would immediately apologise.

Lots of compliments and kisses every time you do something good

He will make sure you follow an healthy routine during exam season: prepares you healthy meal and snacks, makes sure you get at least seven hours of sleep (mostly because he loves sleeping with you)

Helps you dealing with stress and anxiety

Would also be very gentle and caring and would make the day before and after the exam just about you.

He would be so so so proud of you (and happy that you are a cultured woman)

Thanks to his help you would never fail. He would start preparing you months before. But absolutely no cheating.

Going to give you the a very nice reward😏

DAZAI

Slightly annoyed by the fact you cannot give him all the attention he wants.

But he likes the fact that at least one in the relationship has a better education (truly concerned about bsd characters education, like... basic human rights where?)

Would randomly close your book or interrupt you for a kiss

Or would say something "Why don't we continue in bed? Every time you are right I will make sure you'll fell soooo good!" ""Sure Dazai, like you know the difference between-every topic you want-?"

Makes sure you are not to stressed or tense: he gives you the best massages ever.

Great support the day of the exam: like, he would be outside waiting for you with giant posters and other members of the agency.

Would not help you actually studying. Absolutely not.

Does not know a thing about the topic you've being studying

Finds you sexy between all those books and paper and would let you know.

He makes sure the professor knows he better not let you fail.

RANPO

He would always make sure you have a sweet snack while studying.

Would be silently keep you company while he eats them.

He gets bored easily but if you want to repeat everything to him he will listen.

Doesn't find what you are studying interesting, but honestly do you?

Would immediately understand when you are to stress and help you with that.

Very supportive and proud of you. Moreover he loves seeing you studying like that because you look smart and loves to be in a power couple: you to could easily destroy anyone just by looking at them.

Lots of hugs

Would suggest you to use sweets as rewards to study more. Even though he would prefer another kind of reward.

If you fail (which is not going to happen) he'll ruin the professor reputation telling his darkest secrets.

NIKOLAI

(Don't ask me way, I just thought he could be nice, I would want him during my exam season🙃)

"Dove, don't worry, if you fail you can always work with me!? You don't need to study Russian literature to be a terrorist!!"

Would randomly close your books and guess what, it's quiz time

Would actually prepare little quizzes just for you exam even though he really doesn't understand why you do that (really why are we doing this)

He your answer is incorrect well, you just choose death. Everywhere you go you would find the right answer written on a sticky note. He would wake you up in your sleep and asks you that.

Special rewards (and punishments). Would use the exam as an excuse for this. Like you have time

You could never fail this exam. He made sure of it, he personally threatened the professor and their entire family just for you. How sweet.

#bsd #bsd headcanons #kunikida #bsd kunikida #kunikida headcanons #kunikida x reader #dazai #bsd dazai #dazai × reader #dazai headcanons #ranpo × reader #bsd ranpo #ranpo #ranpo headcanons #nikolai headcanons #bsd nikolaj #bsd nikolai gogol #nikolaj gogol × reader

[that-ari-blogger]

Genuinely Impressive (Light Spinner)

The term "humanise" refers to a kind of anthropomorphising. To humanise is to give a thing human qualities like speech or pseudo-complex thought. For example, the transformers are humanised vehicles.

In a weird way, this is how humanisation in literature works. It is the practice of taking a fictional character, thing that is very much not a real human being, and giving them the complexity befitting a human.

Unfortunately, there is a pitfall to this practice. When writers try to humanise their characters, there is a tendency for these writers to accidentally redeem their characters in the process.

Disney's Maleficent and Cruella had a problem with this. While the later got retconned from megalomaniacal to empathetic, diminishing her villainy in the process, the former got turned into a full blown hero, a decision that I... actually liked.

She Ra and The Princesses of Power, however, truly excels at humanisation, and nowhere is this more apparent than in Light Spinner.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (She Ra and the Princesses Of Power)

I want to prefix all of this with the fact that humanisation to any degree is a really difficult writing skill. The idea is to engineer understanding, instead of empathy, and that is a deceptively hard balance to strike.

Making a character empathetic is easy, but it's a different skill entirely to know how much of that to do, and when.

In short, artists deserve credit for the tiny acts of brilliance just as much as for their feats of awe inspiring grandeur.

One thing that I noticed about this episode is that, to me at least, Light Spinner and Shadow Weaver are different people. Obviously they are the same individual, and there is some clear overlap between the two, but they feel like two different characters. As in, there are certain things that Light Spinner says that Shadow Weaver would never say, and vice versa.

This boils down to the idea of a character's centre. I have mentioned this before, but every character has a single element that is immutable about themselves, the thing that makes them who they are. If you would be to slowly change everything about this character, but leave this one element, they would still be the original person.

I think the difference between Light Spinner and Shadow Weaver is this centre. Shadow Weaver is cruel, and selfish, but Light Spinner strikes me as more ambitious and calculating. Obviously, there are shades of all of these in both characters, but these are the elements that are the most important to each person.

There is actually a moment in the episode where the characters switch, where Light Spinner is killed and Shadow Weaver remains, and that is in the ritual room. But to understand that, you need to understand the events leading up to it.

So, who is Light Spinner, and what elements of that are carried over into Shadow Weaver? Well, Light Spinner is ambitious, reckless, righteous, and... kind? I don't think kind is the right word, but maternal feels like a bridge too far.

Motivations are complex. Often, actions are performed for a multitude of reasons. My main reason for writing this blog, for example, is because I love She-Ra and stories like it. But I am also doing this because I need an outlet for creativity, and because I want to develop my own understanding of the writing craft. Complexity.

Light Spinner's dynamic with Micah is one of teacher and student, but there is obviously some affection there. Light Hope is amused by his antics, and pushes him to do better because she knows he can. She fuels his passion and it is clear he has a trust for her and feels safe in her presence.

However, there is also some of that ambition there. Light Spinner is written in this episode as a limit pusher who wants to do more and gain more power. It's heavily implied in this episode that she is using Micah for her own ends.

"You have incredible power. And I'm the one who will mould that power."

So, we can add megalomania to Light Spinner's list of attributes as well.

On a side note, the oracle spell things have some of the best camera placement and shot composition in the entire series. So whomever is in charge of that in universe is the most skilled cinematographer on the planet.

I want to point out Light Spinner's motivation here. She wants to protect Etheria from the Horde. This is partly why I think she and Shadow Weaver are so different, because Light Spinner would never switch sides like she does, because she wants to save the world.

"Norwyn and those fools don't care about magic, they just want to hold the rest of us back."

Forgive me, but that wasn't the point of the spell. That wasn't a discussion about magic, it was a discussion about people's lives. Light Spinner has taken the complete opposite memo as everybody else.

This is where the megalomania fits in. Because Light Spinner wants to be in command, she wants to be a hero, and she wants control, as well as saving Etheria. The shift in character comes when that ambition supersedes her more benevolent motivations.

Can we please take a moment to acknowledge how incredible this shot is. Light Hope is framed against the oracle spell, backlit and viewed from below like she's a ruler speaking from on high. The circle around her head mirrors the halo around the heads of saints found in stained glass windows. Light Hope views herself as a messiah figure.

But look at what that halo is showing. Light Hope is divinely surrounded by death and destruction, and the loss of the black garnet. Even now, Light Hope's greatest weapon is her radius of fear.

I also think props need to be given to this shot, with all of its complete lack of subtlety. Light Hope seeks power, and she seeks the spell as an means of achieving that, so the spell covers her eyes, blinding her to reality.

"We need this power. It's the only way to protect our people."

Here's a question: Is this the only way? Light Spinner certainly tells us that, but we haven't seen any other ideas. The guild was meeting to decide what to do, and Light Spinner interrupted it, then stormed out. So maybe they decided on something better and safer.

She-Ra has another "it's the only way" decision, later on in the series, that being the planet destroyer that the first ones set up. Shadow Weaver jumps on that idea as well, but its notable that in both cases, there actually is another way to defeat the horde, and it didn't compromise the morals or physical wellbeing of its participants.

The golden rule in storytelling is "Show, don't tell", and this is a case for why I disagree with it. Showing an audience something makes them believe it, telling them something makes them skeptical. If you keep telling an audience something, but never actually show it, you can end up with a distrust for the narrator, and that is used very intentionally here.

Light Spinner tells the audience over and over again how good this will be, but we never see that good. We actually see the opposite.

Consider this: The Horde, over the next however many years, makes very little ground, and that is mostly due to Shadow Weaver's assistance. So maybe if she did the princesses, or if she hadn't absolutely shredded the mages of Mystacor, things could have gone better.

Which leads into the final domino that is set up for Light Spinner to change. Trust.

The mages of Mystacor do not trust Light Spinner's judgement, which leads to her believing her actions are futile for getting the admiration and respect that she "deserves".

Enter the Spell of Obtainment. And as a general rule, if you are in a fantasy story and you start conjuring something with too many arms and eyes, you are probably doing something wrong.

Also, this guy is dead, ponked into non-existence. A man dies, on camera, in a children's cartoon.

It is important to understand that this is a memory, and so the narrator is unreliable. From that perspective, Light Spinner was betrayed by Micah, and by the guild masters, and it got her killed.

But let's also look at what the spell would have done. Light Spinner insists that it would win the war, but doesn't reveal its actual capabilities. I think, judging from what the failure did, it would have focused power in on a single individual or two.

I think Light Spinner's idea of the ultimate spell was one that bolstered her abilities and made her into a super soldier.

So, Light Spinner died because of her megalomania and ambition. She wanted to be the one to save the world, and it cost her. People backed away because she pushed them too far, and she can't see that.

The person that emerges from the cosmic horror bubble is Shadow Weaver, and the first thing she does is kill someone, then bail and switch sides. The power is now more important to her than what she wanted to use it for.

The final scene of the flashback is the adoption of Adora, and it does a few things. First up, Adora gets thrown into Shadow Weaver's care against the latter's will, and one of Shadow Weaver's first lines in the entire series is this:

"I saw talent in you the moment I found you as an orphan child and took you in."

So... that was a lie, wasn't it?

But the scene also shows a hint of Light Spinner peeking through, because I think there is something maternal there, and it is entirely separate from kindness.

One of the theses of She-Ra is that there is a bit of good, however small, in everyone. And the point of this episode is that Shadow Weaver once had it, and may still have it, but has made the choice to do evil. Villainy is very much a decision in this world, you don't get born into one side, you make your own choice.

That's something that keeps coming up, especially with Catra.

Speaking of whom, there is a reason I have separated Light Spinner from Shadow Weaver.

"You remind me of myself. You always have. Nothing was ever easy for me either. I wasn't born to power like Adora and the others. I had to earn my power, fight for it. Why should it be any different for you?"

There is some narrative parallelism going on in this episode, but it is specifically not between Catra and Shadow Weaver, but Catra and Light Spinner.

Both characters are seeking respect, and find that taken out from under them, and both push their closest friends away. The stories are extremely similar, but there are two things to dispute about this idea.

First up, Shadow Weaver is doing some heavy projecting here. Once again, this is her memory, so the narration should be taken with a grain of sand. She was also trying to do something forbidden, while Catra is trying to follow orders to the best of her ability.

Second, Light Hope wasn't abused by the mages of Mystacor. Well, I guess she could have been, but it isn't even implied that this is the case, so do with that what you will.

I think Catra puts it best:

"I was a child when you took me in. What could I have possibly done to deserve the way you treated me?"

She-Ra as a whole does not shy away from discussion of the cycle of violence, and it is worth noting that Shadow Weaver perceives injustice directed at herself, and believes it is perfectly reasonable to take that out on a child. Yes, Hordak did probably use that anti-oxygen device on Shadow Weaver at some point, but she then made the decision to use that anger to bully a child.

Shadow Weaver's treatment of Catra in this episode is pure manipulation. There are hints of that maternal element, but they are being used to lull Catra into a false sense of security. She is falsely giving Catra affection to service her own needs. Notably, through the use of her touch, Shadow Weaver exhibits control over Catra's emotions.

AJ Michalka needs so much more credit than she has for her voice acting than she has received, especially in this episode. Catra's increasingly frantic pleas are so incredibly well realised, and the last scene of the empty jail cell is carried entirely by her acting.

This episode adds a ton of ambiguity to Shadow Weaver, as well as providing depth to her character. But it makes one thing abundantly clear:

As justified as you think your methods are, you are still responsible for the actions of cruelty that you chose to take.

Catra is close enough to Light Hope for the end result to be reasonably likely. Shadow Weaver is what Catra will become, if she does not stray from the path she currently walks.

That's why Catra's redemption arc is so compelling to me, because we know what is at stake. We know where that path leads.

Old. Bitter. Weak.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a technical masterpiece. The first rule of literary analysis is "don't compare a story to food or architecture", but I'm going to do that anyway.

The rest of She-Ra has a habit of prioritising the big spectacles and feats of brilliance. Each episode is a fully made cathedral with stained glass windows and a mosaic ceiling. This episode isn't that it's an incredibly well-designed fountain in a park, dedicated to an old friend. It is emotional and heart-felt, and mechanically superb.

Next week, I will be analysing Reunion, so stick around if that interests you.

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#rants #literary analysis #literature analysis #character analysis #what's so special about...? #she ra catra #she ra shadow weaver #spop #she ra #she ra spop #she ra and the princesses of power #she ra princess of power #shadow weaver #catra #mermista can do no wrong

[opinated-user]

i saw the new video of LO "shock has lost it's value" so you don't have to

because LO claims that other people have covered up the topic of both Postals and Hatred better than her (with a cheeky recognition that she has plagiarized so many people before, but she's self aware so you aren't allowed to bring it up i guess), so the entire video is actually going to be about the coffin of andy and leyley with a small section of the other two. it's not because she wanted to talk about the incest videogame more than anything else. of course no. she was forced to do it because she just prefers to refer to the people who did a better job than her before.

indeed, no other intentionally offensive games has ever appeared since Postal and Hatred. there has been 0 cases until the incest game. if you know anything about the indie game scene, you already know how offensively ignorant this is.

LO calls the incest game a visual novel. it's not. it's literally categorized like an RPG game because it was made on an engine for RPG games. you can literally see that on the steam page that she keeps flashing on the screen. is this a small issue? absolutely. but it bothers me all the same because LO's the one who decides to talk about this game. is really too much of a burden to just know what genre is the game you're talking about? how i'm supposed to believe you when you talk as an authority about this game?

LO still tries to treat cannibalism as a the worst taboo ever, over incest... and i honestly don't know what is even the point? i know that for LO there's really nothing wrong about incest, but are you really helping your case by trying to say "at least it isn't cannibalism, that's worse"? normal people don't do this, LO.

the jabs at the artstyle by saying "this is a conglomeration of every edgy teen girl" really bother me because at least this is a creative work. at least this the work of an artist that they made with their own hands, instead of exploiting a spouse with no paid only to receive subpar art where anatomy and colors go to die. it's also just a girl with messy hair and black clothing...? besides the messy hair, that's you, LO. you keep putting your characters in muddy dark clothing because that's what you always have. it's just unnecesary.

when LO makes a comment about how weird is that these two siblings share a bedroom in a crummy small apartment, she flashes three novels with incest themes on them: forbidden by Tabitha Suzuma, flawed by Kate Avelyn and flowers in the attic by V.C. Andrews, that we all have established before LO either didn't read at all or didn't understood at all. before finishing this video she talked about writing "the goth version of flowers in the attic". flowers in the attick is already gothic literature. goth is a music genre, not a literary one. i won't let that go because it reminds me how deeply and proudly ignorant this woman is, and still has the gall to pat herself in the back for it.

all the "alabama" jokes are so tiring and boring. even more boring because LO is canadian and therefore completely disconnected from the culture that made those jokes, so you know the only reason she's making them at all is because she saw americans doing it.

a little rant about how you can't diagnose a character or youtubers with mental health disorders because people have been sued with defamations suits over it. i agree that you can't diagnose real people, that is unethical. however leyley is a fictional character. we can talk about how kids can't be diagnosed with personality disorder or how she doesn't really fit the criteria for this or that mental illness, but it's not and will never be the same to try to diagnose her as to do it to a real human being.

there's a part where LO says that the story of the incest game doesn't face her by showing a panel of pokemadhouse where... i assume Lizzy? is yelling insults to CLO through the phone while CMO asks "who's talking to you like that? that isn't your ex, is it?" and because it's just that one panel, i imagine that it is. so the implication would be that LO doesn't care about the cannibalism or the implications of incesy (shocking, right?), but the moment in which the siblings are mean to each other and insult one another, that's when she can't take it because she had ex that yelled insults to her.... i guess. idk.

"kill your abusers, Andrew, it's good for you." unless they have children just at the right age as your sibling when you first started molesting them all those years ago. then forgive your abusers, Andrew. silence their victims too, just so you have a chance at a new incestuous love.

reference to the folgers incest add. not even chuckled.

these are the reason why someone would want to kill leyley

replace brother with younger sibling and you got it, some classic LO projection. but you're still entirely wrong on one thing, LO. nobody wants to kill you and you know that too. just admit that you're a incestuous abuser that needs high, minor, medium large and extensive actual real therapy.

13. LO remarking on how weird the game treating the two siblings arguing as "lovers spat" is so weird because she's the one who treated Courtney calling her out as a bitter ex. even down to keep talking bad about the ex of Courtney that he had when abandoning their parent's house, calling him an "actual pedophile" despite their age gap being just two years.

14. so she knows how weird it is to keep talking about her sibling in sexual context. she knows how bad it is to make jokes about Courtney being raped. she knows how obssesive and toxic she has been since Courtney spoke out... and she still does it. proudly. i know i'm saying nothing new here, but LO is a really bad person. not because she does bad things without knowing, but because she does them knowing.

15. LO is relating the story of the game completely skipping the part in which you can have the siblings... not commit any incest at all. yes, the weird implication were there from the start, but weird implications aren't actual incest regardless of how uncomfortable they can make individual people. you have to actually go out of your way to reach that path. she's presenting it as if this was a clear linear story path and it's not, and i have a suspicion that is the point of the game that LO is completely missing. that these two are horrible toxic characters, but ultimately they still have a choice on how their relationship can become and you as a player can get them there or not. because one thing she didn't mention either is that this story is devided in chapters and there's still others coming, so this is an incomplete story. i'm not the dev or anything like that, but if i have to guess anything about the plot my idea is that this whole story can only end in tragedy and probably neither of the siblings will survive. it's your choice as a player if that end includes actually touching your sibling or not. i guess we all know which ending LO would prefer. but it still bothers me because there's a reason why the dev made it a choice at all instead of just a inevitable part of the story. there's a reason why you can skip that and i won't claim to know what is that reason, but ignore that just so you can posture is still so gross for me.

16. "the artstyle of a potterhead that watched Black Butler"????????????? what does this even mean???? plus. LO, do you really want to play that game? do you really want to keep bashing people with anime inspired artstyles when pokemadhouse is literally just that + your own terrible ideas of what "correct proportions" is supposed to be? do you think i haven't noticed that it has been a while since you displayed your avatar in any of your videos? the one that was made for free by your wife and everyone called out as being clearly anime inspired? were you tired of being calling you out the obvious hypocrisy everytime you made those "jokes" or did you get tired of pretend like you liked it in the first place?

17. "i have seen more shocking content". i know. you were the one who brought rape lay and a game about touching the bodies of underaged characters in your video about SVTFOE. i didn't even know about the last one until i reverse searched the image you put out. and yet, you still couldn't think of bringing any other example of "shocking content" to clickbait people with on the thumbnail that two games that people stopped talking about years ago. more than that... what do you think you're doing insisting "this doesn't shock me" with this game? has it ever occured to you that it's main goal is not to shock you? has that ever being declared as being the main goal on any of this? did it never occured to you that the author has a story to tell? even while giving your summary of the whole game to pad the run time and trick people into thinking you have anything to say (seriously, the summary alone is almost half of this video lol). this is exactly like when you insisted that Disney was to blame for creating "romantic chemistry" between Anna and Elsa, but then had the audacity to say that the fandom was the one who was gross while the movie itself was "lovely" (even though you believed it to have "accidental" incest so... you were the one saying a story about incestuous sister was lovely. what a surprise.) the thing is, it's not making you look tough, clever or even "knowledgeable" to say "see this narrative about toxic siblings who cannabilize people doesn't shock". the knowledgeable is already shot with how very little do you know the indie game scene, or the gaming community in general, that you can only think of three games in decades who have shocking content. insisting that this story only looks to shock people and you weren't shocked doesn't say anything about the story itself. it just tells me how boring you're that you believe it makes you interesting you saw more "shocking" content before. 18. "by the way my askbox was filled about this game i expected more." oh. you're not going to say why people started to bring out to you the game that became infamous because of the incest? you're not going to even try to mention how or why incest media just coincidentally, totally against your will, keeps appearing around you? i guess we're also going to ignore how those "hundreds" of ask were... three or four asks that all write and type exactly the same as you. one of them coming from one of your own know sockpuppet accounts. 19. "this game promotes itself as one thing and turns out that is about another." sounds similar to promoting a webcoming as a "slice of lice about a pokemon trainer living in her home with wacky characters", but then you just had to add child molestation with mind altering consequences, quasi incest and rampant abuse apologia of actual immoral monsters. at least the incest game is honest about it being horror. it doesn't try to sell itself as a "wholesome" story about anything, like someone i know.

20. now that i think about it, she only complains about the artstyle when she has Ashley on inscreen. she doesn't say anything about Andrew despite being the same artstyle? she keeps making jabs at how ashley is "not like other girls", about how she thinks she's "quirky" and it's just weird to me that she only does that for her, but nobody else in the game. 21. LO does really goes into a very long diatribe about the kind of mindset that Ashley has, about how the puzzles are actually great, about how it explores the psychology of these characters... and still keeps insisting that there's nothing else about the game. the math isn't mathing. does it have any depth or it doesn't? also that constant "why the rest of the game couldn't be like this".... because the puzzles wouldn't have any meaning at all without the story? isn't that an obvious enough response? 22. "the easiest path to get past incestuous attractiong is being willing to do so." oh. and i guess you're the expert on that one, LO. do you actually not understand how alarming those phrases come off? nobody normal talks like this, LO, i'm sorry i have to be the one to tell you. nobody talks like having incestuous attraction is just as common as having general trauma. not even Courtney does that and you're the one who claims that he's obsessed with you! pity you clearly still haven't moved past that or you'd stop publishing rape jokes about your sister. 23. "this is a game about two awful people and we see them get worse." yes. that is a compelling narrative for people. if nothing else, for the watching a trainwreck effect. some people want to see the world burn in a safe environment where nobody actually gets hurt, as in fiction. it might not be interesting for you (who has more an issue about them being mean and snapping to each other than to them being incestuous mutually, btw), but that is something people find interesting. sometimes people like different things and you don't liking them doesn't mean anything about the quality of the thing. kids in fifth grade understand this already. 24. LO said that Ashley is made of a bunch of anime tropes and Pearl is actually the better version of those tropes. i'm just going to leave that out there and the world can decide what to do with it.

25. "i missed this part of the footage and i had to stole it, i'm not playing that again". wait, who did you steal it from? did you asked permission at least? i don't see any credit or anything. if you use gameplay footage from someone else, yes, it's the bare minimum type of courtesy ask for permission and then credit them. this is the same thing when you use fanart of people who didn't made for you. that's still the work of someone else. LO just flat out admitted that she stole footage from someone else.

26. LO boldly claim that the writing of the game is wrong because Ashley is the main character and she doesn't have a lot of deph... while at the same time saying that Andrew (the one who... also appears in the title of the game?) has. LO still doesn't understand the concept of co-protagonist, does she?

27. then it follows a long diatribe about a movie about some guy and a girl who go in a rampage because American Idol. i didn't pick up the name but... good on LO for finally referencing something else that isn't SU or Star Wars.

still too long and she just gets lost on her sauce so much that i don't even know what is her point anymore. 28. just about in general... it's rich how LO says that Ashley being a violent person or the man on that movie being violent makes them pathetic and boring, when she was the one who claimed she kicked a online stalker in front of her building and stabbed some MAGA guy in the streets. not to mention the woman who adviced to children that they should bash the heads of their bullies with the heaviest object they can find. i don't even disagree that people who take pride in being unhinged violent dangerous peoeple are not that interesting as they thing themselves to be. but LO's very much one of those people. that's why she keeps writing her "obviously heroic" OC starwars killing people left and right without facing any consequences.

29. "amab siblings being abused by afab sibling is not a story that is often taken seriously, and believe me i know that from personal experience." said the woman who bragged for years about beating the shit out of her younger sibling and leaving them crying on the floor after punching them in the gut 15 times. again, your only real concrete examples of Courtney "abusing you" is: burned your pokemon cards when kids and didn't want to play with you. that's what you publicly and openly have claimed as examples of Courtney being abusive to you. you yourself haven't really bothered to explain anymore of this "abuse". can you really blame people when they doubt that claim? especially when you have been cuaght in so many other lies before? no, LO, the reason people believe Courtney over you is not because you're amab and he's afab. it's because you have done nothing else but give out red flags since you first became online and keep giving out more everytime you even talk about Courtney. Courtney's story fits you like a glove. yours look like trying to put a glove into a foot.

(just like your story of claiming to have survived cancer last year, btw) 30. "the people who like this game think they're on the outside, but there's nothing more inside than someone selling what you like in retail"... is LO actually comparing an indie game, made in RPG maker, by a solo person, with mainstream gaming? if she is, that is an insult to the intelligence of everyone who had to hear it and i feel like i lost braincells for it. it's so utterly and obviously wrong that i'm actually speechless. this is like comparing Ib, another RPG maker games that people adored and has a cult classic, with Final Fantasy or even Mario. the indie scene is miles different than the mainstream gaming scene. i can't believe this is something i have even to say.

31. "it has never been an easier time to become a publisher author or an indie developer for that matter." indeed. because there's an indie scene for it. because people can selfpublish. and neither of those people has the same mass appeal, power or influence as mainstream media that is back up by an actual company. LO acts as if the fact people can make money out of their creations that puts them on the same level as professionals who're hired to do those jobs. no, LO. when you were creating those boring RPG games in which you gave people NSFW works of ponies as a reward for breaking the minds of character, you weren't a dev on the same value as the guy who made the games you liked. you were just a boring adult with a porn addiction and some minor knowledge of coding. nothing else. 32. "the only way to make a dark story effective is when you make it in earnest, when you have the characters happy to do it but you know it's the worst thing to them" wait. wait. wait. is this LO saying that the only issue that she has with the incest game... is that it's not more open and gleeful about the incest? i think that's what she's saying. i actually don't know what other conclusion i'm supposed to take from it. when she talks about the game showing the post incest scene, she goes "finally! we can stop dancing around this like we did the last four hours." so the issue is not the incest, it's that the people involved aren't joyful and happy about it. it's that the incest isn't more cover and came sooner.

like in Frozen. my earlier point was right then. her only real issue is that the siblings are mean to each other, not that they could fuck each other. i guess i'm not really surprised out of the woman who called the incestuous relationships "the purest form of love that there can be." this is exactly what i mean when i say that Courtney's story fits you. because only someone who only views incest as positive would say something like that and let that be their conclusion about the incest game. 33. this is a personal nitpick, but i especially do not like how LO insist that you can't make horror out of a tragedy. just say that you never read horror or even understand what horror is. almost the entire filmography of Mike Flanagan is horror that is about familial tragedy at it's core: the tragedy of losing family, the tragedy of chosing power over love, the tragedy of trauma, the tragedy of religion, etc, etc. tragedy is at the core of many beautiful works of horror. hereditary is about a cult interferring with a family, but also it's about grief, generational trauma and the tragedy of these character being destroyed by it all. 34. the conclusion is officially just salad words about how anime is bad, how animation that is "dark and mature" is bad, how everyone is wrong about everything and she's always right. something about jeffrey dahmer, the series and the people talking about it was disrespectful to the victims and their families... i don't know why. to try to say again smugly "this isn't shocking, this is just bad"? i do find funny how she spend at least 10 minutes of this video total saying "this doesn't shock me, this is boring to me, i have seen more shocking stuff", while she ends up saying about how the people who claim were not affected by the jeffrey dahmer show and wanted more gore are pathetic losers. she just keeps describing herself and insulting herself alone. nobody cares that incest doesn't shock you, LO. we know that already, it's part of the allegations. you're not helping your case confirming that we're right.

35. so in the minute 43: 54 flashes this screenshot:

for the record i censored the user. LO didn't. LO openly just published this screenshot from a random user and claim that they're lying about being a incest survivor. LO just grabbed a innocent person who never interacted with her, who never said a word about her, exposed their name for her entire audience to go find and harass and she just erased whatever trauma this person could be dealing with. again, LO doesn't know this person. the only post of them that LO could have seen is this one. and this one is enough to convince LO that they're lying about their trauma only to get a pass for shipping two characters. this is despicable behavior. if i have to convince you of how this bad it is, then i can't help you, because i think it should be plenty of an explanation.

i'm not going to bother with the rest. i'm done. this was a waste of time and a disgusting one at that only used to keep making her little pity part about Courtney for having the gall of not being happily incet with her. don't watch the video directly from her, download it with any of the link on my pin or any other method. don't go search that user. don't bother anyone LO mentioned.

#lily orchard

[beesmygod]

I saw your answer about art experiences. How do you feel things from literature? I am consistently disconnected from things I try to feel from, like I read The Glass Menagerie and it was good, even, but nothing came of it, and usually it is so much less than that.

I thought it might be something like Having A Coke With You, where the art is superceded by real human relationships — and I actually did understand Having A Coke With You for a while, and it was kind of incredible, but now I look at descriptions that resonated me not two months ago and they're just empty. I don't think having friends did that.

I just want this to be me, I want to feel things so much, especially without looking on it from a consumer's perspective (cf. rayne fisher-quam's standing on the shoulders of complex female characters), which I feel is hindering all of this. I feel like I'm missing out on one of the great experiences of life, the connection and meaning that comes from art.

I watched Greg Guevara's video on art experiences, where he said that everyone is overstimulated and spreading out their art experiences into meaningless social media bits, and I don't know how to change that. I saw a play today and I didn't understand it and I was bored, even, and it didn't change me. I needed it to change me into someone who loved it.

I read Anna Karenina in eighth grade and pushed through it and it was a comfort book and I related to Levin but I don't think I understood it, even (I don't have the book anymore). My friend – I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others, I know, but it's relevant – reads Crime and Punishment and feels things. I couldn't even get through the first part of War and Peace.

I'm sorry for the scatteredness, I write on my phone and I find it difficult to organize my thoughts here. I'm sorry for sending this to you, and I hope you feel free to delete it. Lastly, I'm sorry if you cannot answer this, if this is outside your experience.

i have a weird framing and personal philosophy about this subject that i hope does not come off as unsatisfactory to you but bear with me. i'm pretty sure i know this feeling; this is the feeling i get when i'm exposed to the wondrous, marvelous beauty of unspoiled nature. i could not give two shits about the glorious national parks of this genuinely gorgeous country despite my family dragging me all over the continental US for summer break as far as the family van would take us. i have seen some of the most spectacular sights this country can offer, from the grand canyon to the redwoods of california to the devils tower to yellowstone and so many more. and i tell you i stare at it dead-eyed like a fish. i know i should be feeling something, everyone else is. but when i see old faithful erupt all i could think about was how i could see water at home. absolutely 0 spiritual or emotional connection. even landscape paintings leave me cold. i can appreciate and understand the aesthetic value in what i'm seeing, but its like it stops at my eyes and never penetrates my brain.

but i have just accepted that there are things i simply will not be able to experience in my lifetime. this has always been the case for me being less than 5 ft tall with most things in life, but dont read that as self-pitying lore dropping. because the secret is that it's not really that big of a deal to not be able to do things. i might have 0 memories of yellowstone that aren't "insane thing that happened to us" but as an adult i can pursue things i actually do like instead of trying to force myself to FEEL something my brain isn't wired for.

maybe your relationship with reading is the same. you understand literature's grand purpose in the wide tapestry of history or whatever and have seen people have rapturous moments of artistic connection with specific books, but that experience is completely foreign to you. you can even read a book and enjoy it, like how i think the prismatic spring IS pretty fucking sick, but whatever ethereal feeling youre supposed to feel never materialize. thankfully, i promise you that its not a big deal. and now i never have to visit a national park again until i force my children to go see them because it's good for them or whatever. i can sit at home and experience art i DO get that feeling from.

anyway, in short: read things with no expectations of how you're "supposed" to feel about them and just enjoy a pretty good story. keep throwing yourself into artistic pursuits you do enjoy and feel connected to. and try new ones! you never know what will activate your brain

#long post