#like shoutout to the void if you know for sure how to write real interactions then please for the love of god tell the rest of us

[greenerteacups]

Hi! I am an ardent fan of your writing, and I hope to be as sorted and planned as you some day in my own writing journey.

My question is: you have a keen eye when it comes to planning character personality, dynamics, and such. I've also been wading through your ask replies, and your insights into how you write people and how you make them play off of each other is so wonderful to read. If it's not too personal a q, how did you learn how to write like this? Did you go to school for writing, does it come from years of observing people, do you have reading list recs for "how to write real people and real interactions"?

Thanks! This is a really flattering question. I'll try to answer it honestly, because I wish someone had been brutally honest about this with me when I was a young writer.

I didn't go to school for writing. I started doing it when I was about nine years old. It sucked very badly. I kept writing throughout high school, and it still mostly sucked, but some of it was occasionally interesting. ("Interesting" here does not mean "good," by the way.) I took a break in college, and then came back. I've been writing ever since. Sometimes, I feel good about it. A lot of the time, I don't!

I hate giving this advice, because I remember how it feels to get it, and it's the most uninspiring, boring-ass, dog shit advice you can get, but it's also the only advice that is 100% unequivocally true: you have to write, and specifically, you have to write things that suck.

I do not mean that you should make things that suck on purpose. I mean that you have to sit down and try your absolute hardest to make something good. You have to put in the hours, the elbow grease, the blood, sweat, and tears, and then you have to read it over and accept that it just totally sucks. There is no way around this, and you should be wary of people who tell you there is. There is no trick, no rule, no book you can buy or article you can read, that will make your writing not suck. The best someone else can do is tell you what good writing looks like, and chances are, you knew that anyway — after all, you love to read. You wouldn't be trying to do this if you didn't. And anyone who says they can teach you to write so good it doesn't suck at first is either lying to you, or they have forgotten how they learned to write in the first place.

So the trick is to sit there in the miserable doldrums of Suck, write a ton, and learn to like it. Because this is the phase of your path as an artist when you find what it is you love about writing, and it cannot be the chance to make "good writing." This will be the thing that bears you through and compels you to keep going when your writing is shit, i.e., the very thing that makes you a writer in the first place. So find that, and you've got a good start.

Some people know this, but assume that perseverance as a writer is about trying to get to the point where you don't suck anymore. This is not true, and it is an actively dangerous lie to tell young writers. You are not aiming to feel like your writing doesn't suck. You are aiming to write. You are aiming to have written. Everything else is dust and rust. And of course, you'll find things you like about your pieces, you'll find things you're proud of, you'll learn to love the things you've made. But that little itch of self-criticism, in the back of your brain — the one that cringes when you read a clunky line, or thinks of a better character beat right after it's far too late to change — that's never going away. That's the Writer part of you. Read Kafka, read Dickens, read Tolstoy, you will find diary entries where they lament how absolutely fucking atrocious their writing was, and how angry they are that they can't do better. A good writer hates their sentences because they can always imagine better ones. And the ability to imagine a better sentence is what's going to make you pick up the pen again tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that.

Which is what I mean, and probably what all those other annoying, preachy advice-givers mean, when we say: a good writer is just someone who writes every day. It's that easy, and that hard.

#by the way a lot of this draws on ideas inspired by 'letters to a young poet' by rainer maria rilke if you're interested #that's a formative text for me as an artist #it won't teach you how to write but it will teach you how to think perhaps #and once you know how to think. well. life is just pretty good #and i can't say the writing gets easier but when life is pretty good i find myself enjoying it a lot more #this word vomit was prompted by the question 'how do you write real people and real interactions' #because that's like — i'm not trying to be pedantic but— #that's kind of just 'how do you write literature'? #because that's all literature is. what are human beings? how do you write a person? how do they interact with each other? #like shoutout to the void if you know for sure how to write real interactions then please for the love of god tell the rest of us #because i think most of all authors in history have just been giving it our best stab #'this is how the world looks for me. is it how the world looks for you?' #so my advice on that score is: try to see how the world looks for you #and then try to share it with me #don't worry about whether it looks the same for me. it won't

[ourstarscollided]

jatp fanworks appreciation - day 1 (writers)

motivation - so in true me fashion and my aversion to brevity, i've made three (3) posts (see also artists, gifs/edits) to celebrate the wonderful people in this fandom who have made my jatp tumblr experience what it is; a community of people who simply shout into the void about their love of a ghost band and their fearless female leader. i've enjoyed simply being on the sidelines admiring everyone's love for the show, but i thought this would be a good time to really show my appreciation for all these wonderful people, because if i've learned anything from this pandemic, it's that there is NEVER a wrong time to tell someone that they are simply ✨the best✨.

disclaimer: i don't interact with most of these people personally and i simply absorb their content from afar and scream about how wonderful they are in the tags.

This list kind of became a fic rec, so if you're looking for some wonderful fics to read (or reread), I've also included my favs from the author here as well.

Okay this is gonna get a little long so please bear with me. But I just wanted to preamble this by saying that the fanfiction written by the jatp fandom is what resparked my love for reading fiction after about 3-4 years of not reading for leisure (be an adult they said. it'll be fun they said.). So I'm really grateful for that? I don't interact with a lot of people, just because it makes me a little anxious, but I will constantly yell about your content in the tags as if I were on a set of bleachers with a megaphone.

I also know there are so many wonderful fic writers out there (on Tumblr and not on Tumblr) that make amazing pieces of work, and this is just a tiny peek into that, and is not at all conclusive.

Without further ado here are some writers who live rent free in my head, in alphabetical order, so feel free to just skip to your name to avoid my rambling:

@bluefirewrites -> your Merry Ex-Mas fic had me on the edge of my seat every single time you updated. I am so in love with how you wrote the characters into this and at how many words you churned out for this fic. This was filled with so much adventure, and it was really welcome during a time when the world wasn't allowed to travel. And I simply love all the other drabbles and fics you write, but I especially enjoy the hilarity of Ray Molina, Crime Scene Photographer and Matchmaker.

@captainkippen -> I'm pretty sure Love Drunk was one of the first fics I ever read in this fandom. Your stories and your writing feel so goddamn real and I find myself so immersed in the worlds that you've created. I have reread most of your jatp fics and I still manage to find myself stupidly grinning at my phone each time. Your stories flow so easily and are such perfect characterizations of the characters we know from the show, but elevated to fit into your verse. I cannot say enough how wonderful your writing is and how talented you are!! (also a slight nudge that I am still very much following along with The Key and the Crown and I hope you continue it!)

@catty-words -> Your???? Exhaustive??? Music??? Lists???? The amount of work and dedication and microanalyzing that you put into pulling out every detail from each scene is so admirable. You not only manage to find the details, but you also give us EVIDENCE via your intricately selected gifs. You could've just put the video of the performance, but no, you take your time to find that specific 1 second shot to emphasize your point. And your little fics that you sometimes throw out into the world? They're so beautiful, and so fun to read and I enjoy them so much! (I am STILL screaming about this band's a snack) Thank you for validating my yelling in the tags, and for feeding my hyperfixation to this show. (I'm sad these lists are ending soon, but it's about the journey ya know?)

@lydias--stiles -> I don't even know what to say here because I've yelled so much about your fics that I feel like there's really nothing else to yell. Your Road Trip AU was also one of the first ones I read in this fandom, and really just made me go absolutely feral. Pretty sure I absorbed the rest of your fics in an ungodly amount of time and I just simply think you are incredibly skilled and talented. Every time you post a new fic I always wonder what it's like to be in your head because the ideas you come up with are so unique and so well thought out. Thank you for all the art you create for this show, I will constantly be in awe of you. (Special shoutout to the 5+1 fic that became a 31 chapter monster)

@pearlcaddy -> This list would not be complete if I didn't mention you. First of all, thank you for suggesting this wonderful week, it has been so lovely to see so much love being spread around today. Secondly, I never thought I'd find myself reading a Buffy or a Wizarding World crossover fic, considering I know nothing about those two things. And yet I found myself on various nights after work at 3 in the morning just silently screaming and/or crying into my phone. Your writing is so insane. Your world building is so insane. Your banter/dialogue is insane. The way you capture the love between Julie/Luke in different universes is so perfect. Thank you for gifting us these beautiful pieces of art, and I hope you know that you have at least made one person (me) a very happy reader. I also really admire your dedication to "this will only be a oneshot", only to write like 4 other POVs for it. (Special shoutout to 100 Bad Days)

@ruzek-halstead -> Literally every single fic you have written lives rent free in my head. The way you've managed to build this universe of different Julies and Lukes, and each one still captures the essence of them is astounding. You've extended their characters beyond what we know from the show and I am just in awe of everything you write. Please know that dead of night is both triggering to me and yet the most hilarious thing I have read. (Special shoutout to the Fake Dating Christmas AU and of course the Cinderella Story AU)

@serendipitee -> Your stories and your writing are absolutely magical. I think Write It Down was one of the first multi-chapter fics that I followed super closely and whenever you updated, I would literally drop what I was doing and read it instantly. You have such a way of building the plot and the characters for all of your fics and drabbles, and making the reader just want more. Please know that I am so obsessed with Oh, She Waltzed With the Dead and I cannot wait to see where you take the story!

@sunsetcurbed -> I have no words for your writing. I am simply in awe every time I read something from you. The way you've got down Alex and Willie's voice to a tee is so crazy good. You write their characters and their stories with such grace and care, especially with how you approach the topic of mental health. Thank you for all the research you do and for also writing in your own experiences. I literally binged the Princes Diaries AU during work and lost a good half day to it, and I regret nothing because that fic left me in SHAMBLES. I secretly adore the way you say you're going to keep a fic short, and end up writing an insane amount of words for it. (I have not yet left my obligated long-ass comment on Chapter 4 of the College AU yet because I am still processing the fate/destiny concept.)

@tangledstarlight -> Gahh. Rosie. Please. This is going to sound a little repetitive considering I just screamed at you last night, but now I guess I will just have to publicly confess my adoration for you!!! Thank you for being my first online friend in a very long time, and for putting up with me yelling at you about everything (and also nothing at the same time). I can't believe all it took was one message about your Royals AU for you to post it, but I will gladly take that credit any day. You are so so so incredibly talented with your writing, and your ability to transport me to another world while I read your fics is unparalleled. I adore the way you can come up with a new story to write every day, and then proceed to throw it into your pot of other WIPs. I am so so so so lucky to have gotten to know you and am incredibly grateful that I now have someone to cry about everything with 🧡 (If you read anything from Rosie, you need to read her Seasons/Long Distance Juke "friendship" fic and the Reggie x Photography oneshot that made me bawl my eyes out.)

@thedeathdeelers -> No thoughts. Just soulmates. Jk jk, you know I love your Reggie x Ray x Carlos fics, and I will scream in the tags about it until the day I get more of those fics from you. This is lowkey a threat, but wrapped in kindness. You are so wonderful to see on my dash (albeit scary at times because of the sheer amount of headcanons and theories running through your head), but you radiate such positive energy that it's impossible to not want to jump in and scream about soulmates with you.

Some special mentions to fics that also live rent free in my head:

@sunsetsandcurves wrote a Willex Cruise Ship AU inspired by a Simple Plan song and it’s something I never knew I needed until I read it. 

@phantom-curve wrote a Juke fic based off of Coney Island and I would just like to say, yes, it did shatter me. (Here’s the fluff sequel that makes up for it though)

@unsaidjulie wrote the Juke dog fic of my dreams and I simply cannot express how much I want the Molina’s to have a dog now. 

@pawprinterfanfic managed to get me incredibly invested in a Star Wars AU even though I know absolutely nothing about Star Wars. I just know that I would die for two (2) space boys. 

@sanssssastark  your Later universe made me realize that I do very much want there to be more mature content for this fandom (and you constantly deliver).

@theobligatedklutz wrote a Tangled Willex AU that makes me screech every time there’s an update. Just read it.

@alexthedrummerboy your talent knows no bounds when it comes to your Social Media AU. Also she’s written ORIGINAL songs for Alex and Willie?!?!?! 

@gennified has this really wonderful modern take on pride and prejudice for Willex and I’m so obsessed with how much miscommunication there is.

@bananaleaves okay, I just found your Tumblr today, and I know you don’t know me in any capacity, but allow me to scream about THIS FIC RIGHT HERE. If anyone in this fandom is to read ANYTHING, it’s this fic. This was one of the best things I’ve read in a long time and absolutely wrecked me. Please just read this.

This turned out WAY longer than it was supposed to, and I’m SO SORRY. (I also tried to make sure I got everyone’s pronouns right, so PLEASE let me know if they’re wrong!) A final sincere thank you to everyone in this fandom who writes. Your talent knows no bounds. Gonna stop talking now before this becomes an essay....

#jatp fanworks appreciation week #fic rec #if i realize that i've missed someone i'm gonna bite the bullet and send an ask to you okay. i will not let my anxiety STOP ME FROM #YELLING HOW MUCH I LOVE PEOPLE'S WRITING!! #idk what else to tag this other than i genuinely think this show saved my mental health and so have all the fic writers. #gonna post this now before i chicken out oky aklfwjepofae #motivation monday

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Rach

Writing Blog URL(s): @dreamystuffers

What fandom(s) do you write for? Mostly BTS, SKZ, and NCT but I’m looking into branching out more in the future

Age: 18

Nationality: Chinese-Canadian

Languages: English, French, Cantonese, Mandarin, (learning Korean)

Star Sign: Aries Sun & Moon, Taurus Venus

MBTI: I/ENFP-T (it changes between I and E a lot)

Favorite color: Purple and/or mint green!

Favorite food: Neoguri

Favorite movie: Your Name

Favorite ice cream flavor: Mint chocolate!

Favorite animal: Alpaca

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? Iced americano or caramel macchiato (coffee). If I’m at home, I’ll normally just make jasmine green tea.

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Something involving music that allows me to impact others in a positive way.

Go-to karaoke song: The Ballad of Mona Lisa - Panic! At The Disco

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Telepathy!

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? I’m honestly not great at history so I’m not sure.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? More music stuff.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? One horse-sized chicken. 

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? Band geek and Student Council President.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Not really.

What are some small things that make your day better? Watching the SKZ Fancy stage.

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? I have a Hello Kitty keyboard that I use regularly and one time I brought into work and the IT guy laughed at me.

When did you post your first piece? 

Probably three years ago in 2017?

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? 

I write fluff, angst, and crack cause they’re fun. I don’t really have much experience (or more pleasant experiences) with sexual stuff so I’m not really comfortable writing about it.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?

 I write xreaders and occasionally ships.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? 

I remember @inktae opened up SFWBangtan ages ago and I thought she was the coolest person ever so I wrote something up to fill the network criteria and just kept writing.

What inspires you to write? 

Reading other people’s works and seeing stupid stuff in real life.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? 

Hanahaki AUs.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? 

Nothing much really. I just hope they enjoy it and that it stays in their mind for a while. A reblog with some screaming in the tags is always nice too.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?

Nap or sing karaoke at an obnoxiously loud volume.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? 

My favourite work is ‘things you said at 1 am’ from my things you said series. It’s really angsty but it’s short and well-written. It got me a lot of my first real feedback on this site and it holds a special place in my heart. My most successful work is ‘can I kiss you’ from my 100 ways to say I love you series. Admittedly, I didn’t spend a lot of time on that so it’s slightly discouraging to see 200 notes on this fic and maybe max 150 notes on my much longer fics.

Who is your favorite person to write about? 

Mark Lee!

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? 

Fanfiction requires less character building in a sense? You have a person with real personality traits to base things off of. I’ve never been a good original prose writer anyways.

What do you think makes a good story? 

Characterization and a good plot.

What is your writing process like? 

Sometimes I outline my fic and then fill it in but most of the time I just write out the dialogue and then I add in descriptions and other things.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? 

I don’t think I would.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? 

I love anything to lovers but mostly friends to lovers! Also, domestic AUs and proposal AUs. I can’t stand yandere aus. They creep me out. I’m sure there are other tropes I can’t stand but I can’t think of more off the top of my head.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? 

The whole world. I do a lot of stuff outside of Tumblr and writings isn’t really one of my passions. It’s something I do for fun. Seeing the lack of interaction between readers and content creators nowadays is really discouraging. A lot of people just like posts and move on and like, that’s cool. You know someone read it, but you don’t know what they thought of it or if they liked it. That part hurts a lot, especially when a lot of time goes into creating content and you get minimal interaction in return.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? 

I think joining networks and having good mutuals. Also, learning how to better utilize the Tumblr tagging algorithm between different fandoms haha.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? 

Definitely. Writing is writing no matter who you’re writing it about. Some people can’t seem to grasp that for some reason.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? 

Of course! I originally wanted to go into music for university because I want to create art that provides comfort for others. If you look at the history of art, you can see different artists expressing themselves and the environment around them in different mediums. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? 

I definitely write for others rather than myself. I normally create graphics/gifs and songwrite for myself. Whatever I write to post on here is more to keep myself busy so I’m not particularly attached to it.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? 

Not really. I don’t really write or post anything that could be misunderstood in that sense.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? 

Some of them do. They don’t really care. I get teased sometimes but for the most part we all read some fanfiction so it’s no big deal.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? 

Hello! I love all of you! Please interact with me more because I need constant attention and affection and also I’d love to get to know all of you better! Thank you for supporting me throughout all these years on this hellsite.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? 

Just go for it! Tumblr is basically a giant void anyways. There’s nothing to lose so just put yourself out there because it’s easier to take something down than to constantly think about that “what if I’d posted this?”.

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? 

Absolutely. At times it takes a toll on my mental health and I constantly feel like maybe I should be doing something else that will bring me more satisfaction. I have a lot of amazing mutuals though and they make everything much better haha. (Shoutout to all my mutuals and everyone in BTS Fic Hub and BTS Smut Hub)

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? 

I think I mentioned @inktae earlier. She’s the one who got me to start writing and putting myself out there which I’m eternally grateful for. @taekemeaway who was my first push into making gifs and colour palettes and even made me one of the admins for @yoonkooknetwork (Lex if you see this I love you!!). @tenkkum is one of my oldest mutuals haha. Our chaotic ‘02 line energy combined is a disaster but he’s been with me basically every step of the way. We even established a network together @starryktown (shameless plug but apply and also apply for @nctcreations LOL). 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

“I know your future will bloom into something much bigger and magnificent.” - Kim Namjoon, Dear Class of 2020 Commencement Speech

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

#@dreamystuffers #thesunnyshow #featured author #bts #nct #stray kids #episode 39

[fandom-necromancer]

907. Of course I kept it.

Shoutout to the lovely anopn who prompted this! I really enjoyed getting back into that story, I like writing no-social-module!Nines.

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

part1   part2

‘Okay, so what can you tell me about this guy?’ Nines looked over, masking his stare not to be too obvious, just as he had learned from Gavin. Clearly focussing the clock at the opposite wall for anyone who might look at him, he watched the person from the corner of his eyes. [Larry Osborne, 36 years old, criminal record: none] He blinked the analysis result out of his view, this wasn’t important now. Gavin wanted something far, far more difficult from him. He accessed the databanks he had saved in that empty void his programming had kept vacant for his social module to be installed. Not that that had ever happened.

He looked back on the table and let the video-footage he collected replay. The human blared his teeth, but the corners of his mouth were turned upwards. ‘He looks happy’, Nines stated, trying to find anything else he could identify. ‘He is with friends. He touched his neighbour on the shoulder. Physical contact is a sign of familiarity.’ ‘Yup. Both are right’, Gavin nodded and took a sip of his drink. ‘But is it real happiness?’ ‘What do you mean?’, the android asked. ‘Well, you said he looks happy. Is he happy?’ ‘I…’ Nines replayed the footage over and over again, but he couldn’t identify anything about what Gavin wanted to know. ‘I can’t tell. This is all I could see.’ ‘Okay. Then look at his eyes. The smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He doesn’t mean it.’ ‘But why should he look happy when he isn’t?’, Nines asked confused. ‘To show the others he enjoys their company? To be liked? To avoid questioned about what’s wrong? Not to let them worry? Could be anything.’ ‘How do you know all this?’ ‘It’s assumptions, Nines. But don’t worry, you don’t need to be able to identify that. You already learned a lot.’ ‘But I want to be able to. Connor can identify this better than some humans. I am… I want to have this defect eradicated!’

Nines swiped away all of his self-written protocols and wished he could just hide behind his walls again. Code that would tell him he didn’t need this. That he needed to know what threat someone portrayed, how to break their defences and how to incapacitate them most efficiently. That it didn’t matter whether someone was really happy or not. But these limitations had been long gone and left him to his own devices in a world that didn’t need them anymore. Gavin had been a major help ever since Nines managed to stand up to Connor. He was still trying to mend the wounds caused to the android’s relationship with himself, calling the RK800 brother as he liked that and coming to him for help, he technically didn’t need anymore, as Gavin started to mediate any situation that involved social cues. Ideas from the very human actually. Although the Detective had emphasized, he was much more competent in burning bridges instead of rebuilding them, his advice had helped Nines getting back on terms with Connor.

It had also helped him building up his social protocols. The human had held true on that promise of taking him out to the city with him after work. Mostly it was people-watching in parks, in the streets or now that it was getting colder outside bars and shopping malls. Nines was thankful Gavin knew the only people he could talk to were himself, Connor, Hank and the Captain, and didn’t press him to practise his social skills by talking. This approach was fine with him, although frustrating.

‘Hey, Nines, what did I tell you?’, Gavin asked and as Nines looked up, he knew the man was [sad] and tried to hide [anger]. Somehow it was far easier for him to read his partner than other humans. Maybe because the Detective hid nothing? Most people disliked him because of that. Nines couldn’t say he shared that opinion. ‘Nines, you are not defective. Nothing in you is broken and I absolutely hate it when you say that.’ ‘But I can’t function correctly!’ Nines knew for sure his LED was red again and that Connor would have gotten that notification again. Soon Nines would have to calm his brother again that Gavin didn’t harm him in any way and that his worry was unnecessary. ‘You function absolutely correct, Nines. You function just the way Cyberlife intended. You are just frustrated that you are not more and believe me, I know that feeling.’

‘You do?’ Nines understood the logic in his words but refused to acknowledge it just yet. He had only ever seen Connor, androids and humans around him having no problems communicating or handling normal tasks. To hear Gavin also had some attributes he struggled with was something completely new to him.

‘Yeah, that thing kinda happens when you grow up next to Elijah phcking Kamski. I know I can’t be the same genius level of intelligent he is at, but I always tried and evidently failed to reach my goal.’

‘But you are a remarkably intelligent individual’, Nines reported matter-of-factly. ‘In most cases you recognise the important connections at crime-scenes before any other human.’ ‘Exactly. And that proves my point, Nines.’ Gavin emptied his glass with a few big gulps. ‘I never invented robots and made millions. But I am a good Detective on the force. If I had never struggled trying to become like my brother, I might have ended somewhere else completely. Same with you. You try to become like Connor or humans but you always just see the distance you have in front of you, not the one you already travelled.’ ‘I’m afraid, I don’t understand.’ ‘What I’m saying is you already accomplished so much since you confessed to me what was going on with you. You don’t rely on Connor as much anymore. You go out and make experiences. You came far already. Don’t worry about what you can’t do yet. You’ll get there.’

Nines stared at Gavin for a long time in what other would have maybe described as an eerie, soulless stare, but the human knew what it meant: an intense, prolonged analysis. Normally he would have helped the android by staying still, but this time he turned away. He didn’t want Nines know of his real feelings towards the machine just yet. Not until the android could portray them on his own and learned to take onto these cues. Doing anything but that wouldn’t be… fair.

‘You… You care for me.’ Gavin coughed but nodded swirling the ice in his otherwise empty glass. ‘Why? You are not as thoughtfully towards other people.’ ‘You are my partner. We are supposed to care for each other. Others don’t need it.’ ‘Detective, have we reached the status friends?’ Gavin looked up and was met by those piecing analysing eyes. ‘God, I sure hope we have’, Gavin stumbled. ‘Otherwise this would be a bit awkward. But you tell me.’

Nines thought about that for a while, comparing it to research. One attached to another by affection or esteem. Big words with a lot of meanings. One that is not hostile. Gavin was hostile but never towards him. One that is of the same nation, party or group. Gavin was a member of several groups he had catalogued in his mind: He was in the DPD, in the range of what Nines called trusted people, but there was also something that distinguished Gavin from every other person Nines had met up to now. Although what that was, he couldn’t quite put to words. A favoured companion. That made Nines physically nod. Gavin was his favoured if not favourite companion. ‘Yes. We are friends without doubt’, he reported trying to put on a smile of his own as it was required if one wanted to show happiness. Most people would call his smile terrifying or unsettling, but Gavin just laughed – at and not about it as he had reassured him countless times – and his face changed colour. Nines had yet to understand what that special feature of humans meant.

‘Hey, then as a friend of yours I guess I have tortured you enough with socialising. Should we get a move on?’ ‘Yes, please.’ Gavin paid for his drinks and Nines fetched him his jacket, because that was the polite thing to do according to his research. Also, it was effective. They walked out and to Gavin’s car, the man asking the same question as always as they entered it: ‘So, where do you wanna go? Should I drop you off at the precinct or…’ So far Nines had always said yes at that sentence. Gavin had driven him to the precinct, he had gone back to work and the human off to sleep. Only the last few times he had realised the question might have a different intention. So instead of just confirming, this time Nines asked: ‘What are the options?’ Gavin looked at him in surprise, what made the android question if he had interpreted the sentence wrong. But the human answered: ‘Oh, I mean, I guess I could drive you anywhere… or you could come home with me, like Connor does with Hank.’ ‘If that’s okay for you, I would like to accompany you this time.’ ‘Hey, I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want it.’

Nines took his time analysing Gavin as he was preoccupied with staring at the street. He tried to find out whether the human was pleased with his answer. But as he still struggled with detecting the simpler human emotions like happiness, sadness, anger and fear, he had no hope in succeeding. Asking wouldn’t help either as Gavin was a master in disguising his feelings. They drove in silence and Nines was caught in the loop of asking himself whether or not he should break it with conversation. ‘Hey, relax man’, Gavin seemed to sense his despair and clapped his thigh. [Friendly gesture] not [attack], he reminded himself. ‘This is okay. I would have been happy with either decision you made as I know it is what you want.’ The android did manage to relax at that. How could Connor ever think chastising this human and keeping him from interacting with him would be beneficial or necessary? Nines had never met a person this thoughtful and understanding. Nines corrected himself, Connor was understanding too, but was fast to patronise people. Hank was thoughtful too, but lacked the guidance Nines knew he needed. Maybe, Nines concluded, he shouldn’t try to compare the man next to him to others and simply appreciate he had him for a friend. Friend. It was such an easy word but packed to the brink with emotions the android could neither describe nor identify. And there was still more associated with the man that didn’t really fit into that category. Nines sighed, brushing the open problem away to solve some other day. When he was more experienced. Less defective.

‘There we are’, Gavin exclaimed as he unlocked the door and held it open for the android. Nines brushed his shoes on the doormat telling him to “Go away” and stepped in as if he was a foreign object in a perfectly quarantined environment. Gavin followed, removing his shoes and closing the door again. Nines observed him and mimicked him, only disturbed by a sudden [proximity alert]: A black shadow ran past him directly towards the human. Reacting on instinct Nines snatched the [unidentified object, threat: high] from the ground. ‘Holy shit!’ Gavin stood up, one foot still half in his shoe to calm Nines. ‘Sorry, I should have warned you, would you please let her down? She doesn’t like to be picked up by strangers.’ The android answered by scanning the thing in his hands and immediately setting it back down inspecting his scratched outer hull. [Cat, 12-14, female.] The fluffy black to blue-grey cat looked at him in what he could easily detect as fear of the unknown after downloading the according databank.

He crouched, fixing the cat and slowly closing his eyes. ‘I am very sorry for startling you and that I failed to properly introduce myself. My name is Nines, a pleasure to meet you.’ If the cat felt likewise, he would never know as Gavin’s laugh made his cat finally loose all interest in socialising and made for the living room. ‘Okay, you definitely know how to communicate with cats’, he wheezed and Nines tried to figure whether it had been a lie. Failing, he simply stated: ‘Cats are easier to understand. They emote more.’ ‘Yeah, okay, but she won’t understand your formalities.’ ‘I can still try.’ ‘Heh, yeah you can. Make yourself at home, I’ll go take a quick shower and feed Stroy.’

Quickly, the human scurried past him and left Nines to his own devices as he disappeared into a different room. The android stood in the hallway for a moment, unsure what the man expected him to do when “making himself at home”. It was a matter to abstract to understand, so Nines took to investigating. That at least was something he knew and that would calm him. He stayed away from any drawers or closed doors as “sometimes hidden things should not be poked at”, as Gavin had told him. There had been a pin board hung up with keys, a list with groceries crossed out and a picture of Gavin and Tina. Nines was surprised to find one of himself, too: the one from his police file – the only one Nines had ever taken of himself. He couldn’t understand why it was hanging here though. Maybe he should ask. He wandered into the living room, that consisted of a sofa, a television, a table for two and three chairs. To the left was a small open plan kitchen and a huge cat tree. The walls were decorated with more pictures: Several loose ones of Gavin and Tina at various events, one framed of Gavin’s class from the police academy, one of him alone in a suit, several more of three cats, one of them the cat Nines had terrified just minutes back. In a corner behind the TV was a bookcase crammed in between the wall and a plant higher than the detective himself. The android walked up to it and took a look at the books. It surprised him to find a lot of guidebooks. A lot of them centred around meditation practices and how to relax right, but some of them where about how to socialise and it took for him to read the title of one book “How to human” written by one of the few android authors out there, to make the connection. Had Gavin bought some of these to help him? That made some feeling stir in him, he couldn’t quite identify other than that it was linked to the friends-category he had written into existence on their drive.

A noise from what he figured was the bathroom made Nines flinch. Gavin had exited the room dressed in a towel and fled to another room. Nines presumed this was a matter of privacy and didn’t investigate in that direction, instead looking at the sofa, where the cat was sitting, watching him. Maybe another attempt would mend his earlier misstep. He walked up to her, crouching and holding a hand out for her to sniff. ‘Allow me to introduce myself correctly: I am a friend of your human. We work together and he helps me rebuilding myself.’ ‘She still can’t understand you, you know that, right?’ Nines looked up to see Gavin dressed in sweatpants and a loose T-Shirt, hair still a bit damp. ‘Why is there a picture of me at your pin board?’, the android asked instead.

Gavin changed colour again and coughed. ‘Ah, well, to remind me there are not only assholes out there. Call it motivation to leave the house.’ ‘Is Stroy the name of your cat?’ ‘Yeah, short for Destroyer, don’t ask. She pushed everything to the floor in the beginning. A lot of potted plants fell victim to her.’ ‘An apt name’, Nines commented. ‘Really? Most tell me it’s silly and not appropriate at all’, Gavin chuckled. ‘She is… visually pleasing’, Nines said, trying to touch her. The cat allowed it and pressed into his hand. ‘Physically pleasing too’, he added. ‘Yeah, that she is!’

Nines had sat down on the sofa petting Stroy completely fascinated by the soft sensation. In the meantime, Gavin had made himself Dinner and fill the cat's bowl, too. He had joined Nines on the couch afterwards, to watch a movie. The android found he didn't feel as awkward as in the beginning anymore. He also realised watching a movie was an interesting activity as he could analyse the actor's displayed emotions without being socially awkward. As time flew by, Gavin yawned more frequently, and finally he stood up, motioning Nines to follow him. 'Come on, you get the bed, I take the couch', he told him, opening the door to his bedroom. 'Why?' 'Well, I'm tired, I'll try to get some sleep. And you can use the bed. Tomorrow I'll take you back to the precinct with me.' 'Gavin, I don't need a bed to enter sta- to sleep.' 'Yeah, but I would feel better if you did', Gavin yawned. 'Okay then.' Nines eyed the bed and surrounding room. His eyes caught onto something laying on Gavin's nightstand. 'You kept it?' The human needed some time to get what he meant, then nodded and hurriedly said: 'Yeah, Of course I kept it! It was a gift after all. What do you think of me?' It sounded like an accusation, but the human smiled at him, so it should be fine. 'Get to sleep, buddy. See you tomorrow!'

Nines laid down on the bed – completely unnecessary for stasis as he could do that standing, sitting or in any other position. But somehow this was nice… Pretending to be human for once. How was it falling asleep? How was it feeling tired or never wanting to leave the bed? How was it when feelings came so naturally to someone that they never even thought about them, showed them so freely they managed to annoy some. He pulled the blanket over himself, although he emitted no heat to capture. Then he laid there, listening for the human getting comfortable on the couch. He looked towards the door and his eyes caught on the little gemstone he had gifted Gavin a few months back. He scanned it, detecting fingerprints on it. Just as many and just as recent as on the man’s coffee-machine. He must have held it in his hands several times and regular too. It seemed he really valued the little stone and again something stirred in him.

Maybe there was more to Gavin’s status in his catalogue. There was certainly more to it than the word “friend” contained. Nines just had to figure out what word would describe it best. Although he was sure, the human would be more than happy to help him with this matter.

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #Nines: What is this sorcery? Why can humans change colour? #Also Nines: What is this weird feeling? Like friendship but more? #Gavin: I could just tell him and end this suffering but that would mean me to talk about feelings noooo

[pitiless-achilles-wept]

Shake It Off: Love and thanks to the cast of SAA 2019

Hello friends, I've just returned from a week in Washington DC where I spent a few days at the Folger Shakespeare Library followed by a few days at my all-time favorite conference, the annual meeting of the Shakespeare Association of America. I would say that it's like Comic Con for Shakespeareans but there's a lot less cosplay (no, we're not a Ren Faire) and a lot more intellectually crunchy panels featuring the newest scholarship by brilliant scholars in the field. Some people in my position would, I'm sure, not be so invested in attending an academic conference that they spent the night before their first chemo treatment completing the paper in time for the participation deadline (perhaps the most on-brand thing I have ever done). They're occasions that we often grouse about, after all: the timing is bad; the flights and hotels are expensive; the schedule is too packed; the program doesn't have what we want on it; we have to grade/prepare lessons/do admin work when we get home. Admittedly, this is a more fun conference than many and I see a lot less general grumpiness about it than some I could name (*cough* MLA *cough*). It does share a little bit of the carnival atmosphere of Comic Con, culminating in a dance on the last night that could feel hokey (and does to some people...the conference is divided pretty sharply between dance-attenders and dance non-attenders) but which gives me the kind of warm feelings of kinship that you get from dancing at a wedding. Like: ah, nerdy as they are, this is my family.

[Below the cut: thoughts and thanks to the members of my profession.]

Perhaps this trip was kind of a weird thing for someone with Stage 4 cancer to be doing. I have, potentially, precious little time in this world (even in the best case scenario it's far less time than I'd anticipated) so why spend so much of it on work? The simple answer is that, with less time, it has become all the more important to spend it doing the things that make me feel the most like myself. And that means a trip to a rare books library where I can spend 8 hours a day combing through 400-year-old plays in search of annotations. It means doing a survey cross-indexing my list of plays against the library catalog while listening to all the Girl Talk albums in succession. It means the giddy satisfaction of closing out the library and going to happy hour with my fellow researchers. It means 10-hour conference days where I work hard and play hard and take copious notes in appreciation of my friends' and colleagues' fantastic minds (and maybe sneak a nap in my hotel room during the late-afternoon slump). And it means closing out the weekend with a community that has stepped up in incredible support of me in the time since I've made my diagnosis public in a way I did not expect and am profoundly grateful for - a fact which is the point of this post. I found myself in the hotel bar somewhere in the neighborhood of 2am on Sunday morning, quite literally weak in the knees from so much dancing, guzzling water and keeping company with colleagues who I've come to call friends as we all, exhaustedly, said repeatedly "we should go to bed" and subsequently did not. There was a real last-day-of-camp vibe that infused the whole thing with preemptive nostalgia for the time--so soon!--when we would not be together in the same place. This is the thing about assembling in person only for a few days every year. There is never enough time to catch up one-on-one (or even many-on-many) among the events of the days. It's both the best and worst part of attending a conference where your colleagues are also friends. You're left wanting more time, more conversation, more connection. Many conversations and much of the friendship continues over various forms of social media, which I have a very deep attachment to and which has helped me make it through these years of instability and separation from people I care about. Some people regard social media or blogs (like this one) as a stand-in or poor substitute for the intimacy of real-world friendships. But for someone like me who became a teenager at the same time instant messaging apps came into existence (shoutout to AIM!) and who has had the repeated experience of developing a friendship or a friend group only to have to bid farewell to its members they are a godsend. They are a conduit for intimacy, fostering it but not replacing it. At this conference I had the unusual and somewhat surreal experience of having people--some of whom I knew well, some of whom only in passing or from Twitter, some not at all--reach out and thank me for writing and sharing so much of myself. Some of them had been through something similar, either on their own or with a loved one. Others hadn't but wanted me to know that my experience had affected them and that they were on my side, hoping along with me for things to get better. I was moved almost to tears several times because, in that way that happens when you write and then post into the void, I wasn't sure anyone was listening. But they were and responded with manifold kindness. It seemed somehow symbolic of my experience with the academic profession overall. It can seem cold and empty, as we are all separated by space and time (especially the lack of it). And when we speak into it not as a professional academic but as a person the likelihood of getting any response, let alone a positive one, seems so slim. That is, I think, why revealing so much of myself on here seemed somewhat risky to me and would to many people. We cultivate very carefully our professional selves, even in casual interactions, because the line between the personal and the professional is so blurry in academia. Often we use this fact to impute great skepticism to our readers (our colleagues); better not to show any vulnerability in case someone, some day, may want to hire you and who would want to hire a vulnerable human being? But in this case I've seen the other side of that grey area. I found a wealth of empathy where I did not expect it. And that as much as anything has made me want to keep working, to keep writing, to stay in this academic community. Your continued and continual support has really sustained me. I do recognize, however, that one reason I'm able to share all this is that I have a secure job. I think I would still be posting about my experience in any case simply because it isn't in my nature not to share thoughts on the most important thing in my life. But I also know that it's my privilege to be able to do so, to even have the choice. And it is a choice that I have made in smaller ways in the past too. I still recall several years ago during one of my turns on the academic job market when I received an unsolicited email from someone I did not know (although we had a friend in common) informing me that my Twitter account was unprofessional and that I was likely writing myself out of a job. Of course, I cracked my knuckles and wrote a pointed reply about how I had quite literally written a dissertation on the concept of the public sphere and thought very carefully about what I wanted to put in public or not and, what's more, that it was only for me to decide and not for him to arbitrate. (For the record, I do not consider my account "unprofessional" since it is a purely personal account from which I sometimes tweet about work-related things. Also for the record, this person wrote back with an apology.) But that fear, stoked by incidents like that, would keep many junior people (or even senior people) from publicly showing their wounds--literal and figurative--in a situation like this. I am glad to be able to speak. I am more than glad that someone is listening. As I return home from the conference, prepared to resume chemo again on Thursday, I feel sadness and trepidation, sure, but I do also feel energized and supported, raised up by a larger community of far-flung friends, colleagues, acquaintances; people I've never met face-to-face and people who are an integral part of my daily life. Friends, academics, Shakespeareans, you are a wonderful bunch. Thank you for making this trip and this conference an occasion to recharge and return to fight another day.

#bex writes #my life as a cancer patient #bex travels #prof me #my face #how do I selfie?

[thefemalehustler]

#PRFOCUS INTERVIEW: BRIANNA DEMAYO (EXCLUSIVE PUBLIC)

Hey Brianna, thank you for taking the time to speak with ‘The Female Hustler’.

You’re based in Philadelphia, are you from there originally? If not where are you from and what was your first role within the music industry?

Yup I’m born and raised in Philly. My first role in music was on the creative side. I was singing in a group when I was little (from 9 years old until I was about 17) and doing a bunch of performances all over the tri-state area (before social media). But then I didn’t get into the business side until about 5 years ago maybe, and I never had a specific role. I started writing articles and giving knowledge, which lead into consulting and throwing networking events/music showcases, which lead to be working with artists and then the publicist role came about.

What made you decide to become a publicist?

I didn’t decide to become one lol. Honestly people just started calling me a publicist, so I looked more into what a publicist actually does and I fit the mold lol. I still don’t like to label myself as a publicist though - I don’t like titles or labels. I just like to do what needs to be done to get the job done. Sometimes that’s playing the publicist role, sometimes that’s playing the consultant role, sometimes I’m the artist developer, other times I’m the digital marketer - whatever needs to get done. All of those things are related anyway.

Tell us about your company Exclusive Public, how did you get started?

To answer the “how did you get started” question, my answer is I got started. And what I mean by that is, I didn’t plan to have the company - I started doing what I love and the clients came naturally - so eventually it just made sense for me to make it “official” and create the brand. But it really all started from me writing articles that teach about the music industry and showing artists how to market themselves. My articles started getting picked up by some major sites and I even started blogging a bit, then miraculously I connected with Wendy Day (whom I really look up to) and I told her that I wanted to start a company and I wanted to do it the right way and offer the right services, so she looked over my services for me and she was the first person to see my website before it launched.

What challenges did you face starting up your own company from scratch and how did you overcome them?

When I started the company I still had a full time job selling/leasing real estate in Philly. So at first, it was time that was the challenge. Until eventually I started taking a day off of my full time job every week to focus on really launching my company and because I was taking off once a week I ended up getting fired from my full time job (lol) - so then my challenge was “how the hell do I keep my rent paid now that I’m fired?” lol but instead of looking for another job, I did my best to solidify a few long term clients. Because of my articles, I was already getting a pretty constant stream of people reaching out wanting to know how I can help them, so I just ran with it and started taking meetings with EVERYONE. I think working in real estate helped me a lot because I was used to mainly working for commission (meaning I didn’t have a pay check to rely on, my checks were based on how many houses and condos I leased) but it was still scary working for myself and not having someone telling me what I need to do. And now I face different challenges. Now I’m creating systems so everything runs even more smoothly and I’m always searching for ways to help my clients on an even deeper level as well as creating something that will get me some residual income. So there will always be challenges, it’s all in staying positive and being confident that you can get through it.

What advice would you give to anyone looking to start their own PR company like yourself?

Do a shit ton of research about PR and about whatever industry you’re looking to be in (for instance, the music industry if you’re looking to be a music publicist). Also, find a mentor (or a few) even if it’s an “unofficial” mentor - just find a few people to look up to and offer to help them work on some projects so that you can learn as much as you can and get some experience under your belt. Don’t focus so much on making money at first - go for the experience and opportunities. The PR world is always evolving - there’s always some new technology or some new social network that appears and then you have to learn how to adjust and use those new strategies for your own clients. So just learn as much as you can before anything.

Who are some of your clients under Exclusive Public?

There’s a pretty long list of clients from over the years - most recently Chase N. Cashe, Bahamadia, and EMPIRE signee, Kstylis. I did some work with Kandy Apple Redd (George Clinton’s granddaughters), New York buzzing artist China Mac plus two of my favourite indie artists from Philly, Marv Mack and Joie Kathos. I like working with indies, I have no desire to work with Beyonce lol.

What main 5 things do you expect an artist to have in place when they come to you requesting PR?

● Interactions on their social media accounts - I need to see that they are already getting some traction ● A story/a great bio - there’s gotta be something interesting about them that we can pitch ● Good (marketable) music (if I don’t like the music, it’s harder for me to pitch, which makes my job harder and it’s not fun) ● Professional brand - they should look professional from the outside looking in (in other words, if I research you, you should have social networks with your artist name, professional press photos and hopefully a website) ● A budget to invest for things outside of PR (like advertising etc,) to make sure that you’re not solely relying on PR to do things that you also need to be doing (like posting to social media consistently, performing etc.)

Artists expectations of a publicist's role sometimes get confused, in your opinion for those who may be reading this wondering what a music publicist actually does or whether they need one, what is the definition of a publicist and their main role?

There’s many definitions out there, but mainly public relations is exactly what it means - relationships with the public - our job is to make sure that you’re being presented the way you want to be perceived. From pitching news stories to the press, to keeping your bio and press materials up to date, to working with you to develop release dates and the overall marketing strategy - a publicist wears many hats.

How much time is needed for a successful PR Campaign?

That really depends on the client’s goals but typically lets say if an artist wants to hire a PR company to promote their upcoming project release, they should reach out at least two months in advance (maybe even 3-4 months in advance) because it takes time to secure press and get everything prepared.

What would you say has been your biggest and most successful campaign so far?

If we’re talking about the campaign with the most reach - I think that would be the campaign I did for Marv Mack’s “Own Crib” video or for China Mac’s “Going Down” video with Dave East. The Marv Mack release meant a lot to me because he doesn’t have much of an audience, but we got some really great love on the strength of the quality of the video (and of course my networking skills lol). We premiered it on All Def Digital, (shoutout to @blamethelabel) and then The Source did a full write up on it (much love to my homie KC Orcutt), and HipHopDX did a full interview on him too (shoutout to Ural Garrett) - everyone was sharing the video - it was just great to see them supporting an artist that couldn’t really get them many clicks. Even Russell Simmons liked the video on Facebook which was pretty awesome.

Are there any artists you would love to have as a client?

I haven’t thought about this much, but now that I think of it, it would be cool to work with Snow Tha Product, I support her vision and I think she’s underrated. I’m sure there’s more, I would have to think about it lol

You also have your own music website Taste Creators, tell us about that?

When I originally came up with the name I wasn’t even thinking about launching a music blog. Taste Creators was originally going to be a writing and production team, but after some heavy thought it made sense to start with the outlet. I didn’t think the domain name would be available actually but when it was I was excited. So TasteCreators.com came about because I was tired of artists being charged to get their music posted, and I was fed up with how watered down the blog world was getting as far as clickbait and only wanting to post shit that was already on Billboard so I wanted to fill that void and create a site that focused solely on indie artists and was very picky with what’s posted and without all the gossip and clickbait, so BOOM taste creators came about lol. There’s actually a few parts to Taste Creators - there’s the mind-set, the outlet and the collective. The mind-set has to do with what a taste creator stands for - everyone has their own definition of it (and they are all right) but basically it’s someone who isn’t afraid to be themselves (or be the first one to do or co-sign something). The outlet, is TasteCreators.com obviously lol and the collective is our team of creative individuals that works out of the Taste Creators office in Philly.

Finally what would you consider the most important thing an artist needs to be aware of before hiring a Publicist?

I’d say they have to understand that 1. It’s more than just pitching your music to blogs 2. It’s an investment - they should be aware of price ranges of PR (do their research). And 3. they should also be aware that press isn’t guaranteed - even if you have a decent following, there are many factors that go into getting press. That’s why I’m very picky with who I take on as a client and I also focus more on getting more engagement from their fan base instead of just pitching for press.

Make sure you follow Brianna on Twitter and IG: @Breezyb215

Taste Creators @TasteCreators

Exclusive Public @ExclusivePublic

TasteCreators.com

ExclusivePublic.com

#public relations