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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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I'm so used to Dick getting hit because his family or friend was annoyed and decided he was the closest wall to punch that I never expect anything different anywhere, and then Young Justice s3 and Titans s2 caught me by the neck and threw me into a pool of unexpected catharsis. I never expected Dick to defend himself, I never expected the catharsis, I never expected how much it'd affect me. Although now that Titans s3 is upon us with a Dick vs Jason fight I'm back to the default.

I really, really, REALLY wish more people had even the slightest idea of the catharsis that can come from one character just fucking INTERVENING in a situation like we see happen so often in fics and the comics and just be like....no. That is not fucking okay. And like, without that, it literally is just...permissive? Like when Jason punches Dick in Grayson #12 after the Spyral thing, and Tim just stands there.....Tim's essentially saying its okay, he sees nothing wrong with what just happened. Which....dun dun dun....not all that surprisingly then turned into Tim punching Dick in Batman and Robin Eternal.....again with nobody upset.

Its why I've never even been able to like, go with the idea that Alfred or any of the Titans knew about what happened between Bruce and Dick in NTT #55, specifically, because like....I can't make peace with nobody saying anything about that ever. Bruce is a Big Time Superhero. Who frequently rubs people the wrong way. I don't buy that nobody's ever gonna throw that back in his face to make a point about how he's got no business being holier than thou about various topics. *Shrugs*

But yeah, unfortunately its not just canon. Like, I've read a fic where the prompt was literally like....people being glad to see Dick back from Spyral and getting actual catharsis for everything he went through instead of what we got in canon....so I went into the fic like okay, cool, this is exactly what I'm looking for. LOL nah, we got Jason STILL punching Dick anyway, even AFTER finding out about the events of NW #30 and Dick actually having died, and like, Jason was still so pissed at Dick for not TELLING them this that NOW, THAT'S why he just has to punch Dick before THEN hugging him and saying okay I just had to get that out, but now I'm over it and glad you're back.

And I was just like.....ummm. The author and people in the comments are treating this like an lol moment where all's well that end's well, and I'm like ARE YOU KIDDING ME, THAT'S THE EXACT SAME ISSUE CANON PRESENTED. Only now its WORSE, because people act like that addressed and resolved it, but with it STILL including Jason punching Dick cuz he was mad, and now with this even MORE formally being treated as like....something fine and necessary to repair their relationship. And all of this is packaged as like...the specific catharsis that people who were UPSET with how that all played out in canon like, came into this specific fic looking for....and this is what we got instead, with zero warning.

That's not even getting started on like, the super long super serious fic set during the Ric Grayson era that was supposedly about addressing Bruce's abusive actions towards ALL his kids, which FEATURED Ric as a regular character, but only ever actually DELVED into the times he'd hit Jason and then Tim. With Tim as an unreliable narrator making some reference to Bruce having hit Dick a couple times but that was different because Dick was an adult....and the author and narration at NO POINT pushing back against this to be like well actually Timmy, that's not fucking different at all, Dick is still his kid, Bruce was still taking out his anger on him, that was still abuse, and saying or even just implicitly framing it as NOT abuse the way it played out in Tim's head, when you're presenting this entire fic as a whole as like, an ode to actually acknowledging the abusive aspects of how Bruce has been written with his kids....

Again, SUPER upsetting to read and witness, because people are absolutely going to read that and internalize that as reinforcing their belief that the situations with Bruce and Dick WERE substantially different and thus not qualifying as abuse and belonging in a separate category the way Tim slotted it in his brain.....because why wouldn't they?

The author only wrote it that way because they perceived it that way, clearly, otherwise by their own stated admission of trying to tackle this subject honestly and completely, like....they would have actually made some kind of point or acknowledgment of it not being different at all and still very much abuse....and the fact that they didn't suggests they very much did see it as somehow different.....so why would readers perceive it any differently and why wouldn't its inclusion in a fic that delved into abuse so extensively NOT at least on SOME level potentially reinforce whatever leanings or perceptions they had in the same direction already? And meanwhile, this story like sooooo many others that wants to talk about abuse SERIOUSLY, all the while calls this their hobby that they do for enjoyment, so please don't criticize anything because that would ruin the HOBBY of it all for them, and its like....

And then there's the fic where its Dick hitting Jason while in the midst of a narrative that's bringing all of Jason's abuse issues and related triggers front and center, and this one is highly recommended as like, a great Dick Grayson characterization by an author who hates any and all canon renditions of Bruce being abusive and so doesn't include anything like that, and so you're going into it like okay, I'm not expecting any catharsis or anything along the lines of acknowledging Bruce's worse moments with Dick or Jason because clearly that's not what this fic is about and that's fine...but by the exact same token, I ALSO was not expecting that an author who is so vehement about how abusive Bruce is wildly OOC writing because the real Bruce would never do that and that's not how they perceive the characters, like....what I'm NOT expecting is for Dick, in a fic PRAISED for a good and complex depiction of him, to like....just fucking pop Jason one in the face and bring to mind how this makes him no different from Jason's abuser and then he runs and seeks comfort in Bruce who whether people like it or not, is canonically someone who has made Dick an abuse survivor himself....

And I'm just sitting there fucking BLIND-SIDED thinking wow, not only did I NOT want this recommended to me by the whole freaking fandom as a wonderfully nuanced portrayal of Dick Grayson, I would have kept a ten mile radius from it if it had say, a tag warning of sibling abuse, which is what they wrote between Dick and Jason, just the other way around. And its like.....I completely understand the author's dislike of abusive Bruce in canon and their desire not to engage with that content on any level, and would have been totally fine with that.....except, I naively figured there was no reason that same logic wouldn't extend to Dick, especially in so lauded a fic, because like, what? Bruce would never ever hit his family and its wildly OOC and simply not believable, even though its happened like five different times with Dick alone, but Dick hitting HIS family is a wonderfully nuanced and complicated portrayal of him? In what universe is that not gonna be a problem for some people??

But because we live in a fandom that's like, umm, this is just peoples' HOBBY, they're doing it for FUN, we're expected to be silent about stuff like this which are very real fucking problems to watch go unacknowledged in fics that claim to be TRYING to treat these topics seriously, but in reality only want to be entertainment just deep enough to move people but NOT deep enough to warrant criticism for having an undue influence on peoples' emotions or perceptions of various dynamics.....and we're supposed to be polite and just smile and say this isn't for us and let it all go, even though like, we would have KNOWN it wasn't for us and not gone anywhere near it in the first place if like, it had been tagged as sibling abuse or something like that. That would have been a clear advertisement to me that like, this is not something you want any part of.

Like, I go to fics that do acknowledge or reference Bruce's abuse to his kids because I'm LOOKING for the catharsis of having abuse actually called out as abuse....and what about that makes anyone think I or someone like me is in doing so LOOKING for characters who AREN'T already abusive to each other in canon NOW being abusive in ways that only the individual fic writer chose to depict them as? And by the same token, its not like I want to go into any fic and see more of the same thing as we get in canon, which is.....more instances of actual abuse being framed and treated as something that's just fine, actually, and nothing to worry about or take too seriously....

But meanwhile, back at the fandom farm, everyone's still totally convinced that they're so superior to canon and doing things so much better than them and fixing all their mistakes....and its like....well then why are you MAKING the EXACT same mistakes, and what the hell are we supposed to do about it with YOU guys if unlike with canon (where we can criticize but it doesn't do much good because there's no guarantee of the people who need to see it actually seeing it), we're not supposed to bring it to your attention as 'criticism-worthy' (thus making the opposite problem of where we CAN bring it to the attention of people who can see it, but we're not 'supposed to' because fandom etiquette)?

And back to the whole thing about using a sibling abuse tag as a warning for people to steer clear if this isn't something they want in their dynamics between the Batbrothers, not just Bruce and his kids....

The thing that fucking gets me every time here, is like......THIS WOULD BE SUCH AN EASY PROBLEM TO FIX, IF PEOPLE WEREN'T JUST SO FREAKING EMBARRASSED TO ADMIT THEY ACCIDENTALLY WROTE IT WITHOUT NOTICING WHAT IT WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Like that first example I used....I very naively DID try to bring it to the author's attention when I was new to dipping my toes back into this fandom, and boy oh boy did that just exemplify how counter-productive that is as long as people can hide behind the DONT CRITICIZE MY WORK shield. I sent a private message on Ao3 so it wouldn't even show up in their comments, and just said very simply:

"hey, I really enjoy your stuff but I was wondering if you would mind putting a warning tag of 'sibling abuse' on your latest fic? I'm not trying to tell you how to write the characters and I figure you probably didn't intend it to come across that way anyway, but as an abuse survivor, I can't help but see that dynamic pop out as such for me in a way that I would at least have liked a heads up about, if that makes sense? Its just I do see how you paralleled how the canon presented this scenario and thus get what you were trying to do there I think, but I kinda only came into this fic for the specific lure of the catharsis we DIDN'T get when things played out somewhat similar in canon, with a lot of it having to do with that dynamic between Dick and Jason, and so...yeah. This part of the comics is obviously emotionally charged for a lot of us and I just know personally, this wasn't quite the catharsis I was after for that scenario and just a quick tag like that would have helped warn me of that. Anyway, sorry for this and hope you can understand my position, I'm not trying to be heavy-handed here or anything, but this was a problem for me and just in case it might be a problem for anyone else in the future, I thought I'd try and send a quick message about that for you to do whatever you want with."

I mean, I thought I was pretty reasonable there, personally?

Yeah.

The author did not.

She went off on me for constructive criticism which she did not ask for, and did not appreciate my insinuations into her character about her being an abuse apologist, because that's clearly what I was saying there. But I mean, that's what happens here. I'd bet anything that she was just embarrassed to have written the dynamic in such a way and then been called out about something she was previously oblivious to and then felt self-conscious about having overlooked or perpetrated herself.

But like....as understandable as that is, like....that's not my problem? And that's not a reason to shut down ANY avenue for people to raise the issue when writers unknowingly perpetrate stuff like this, in ANY way, no matter HOW delicately.

I get being defensive about someone thinking you INTENDED to write a pair of brothers as abusive and saying that was fine, and I even get how, being in a defensive mindset, she could have jumped to that interpretation of what I was saying rather than what I was ACTUALLY saying which was just....look, I don't know you, I don't know your own story, but for whatever reason you didn't pick up on this potentially troubling element of what you wrote in ways that I did because of my own experiences, and I'm just trying to point the issue out as delicately as possible because I KNOW that chances are, you WOULDN'T have written things that way if you had at all perceived the dynamic as I did. And I also KNOW that for people who don't have necessarily the same experiences or perspective I do, that they're not going to be as naturally inclined to perceive trouble spots the way I'm kinda....primed to notice them, and its NATURAL for some of this to pass by peoples' notice for a variety of reasons and like....I'm not freaking mad about that?? That's FINE. That's NORMAL. You're not a bad person for writing something a 'problematic' way purely because you LITERALLY DIDN'T SEE THE PROBLEM WHEN YOU WROTE IT.

Nobody has universal experiences. Nobody has all experiences. The problem is almost NEVER somebody just WRITING something in a way that they 'should have' known better than to, especially when it comes to topics like abuse or whatever.

No, the problem is ONLY when they get all up in their butthurt feelings about being embarrassed that they DIDN'T omnisciently know that and they feel self conscious now about how they think it makes them look now that the issue HAS been raised in a way they can recognize, and so they just fucking double down on pretending there's no issue whatsoever and whomever brings it to their attention is just overstepping and who even asked, anyway.

And thus a problem that can easily be solved in TWO ways....1) by adding a simple tag acknowledging the problem area for what it is, or 2) by editing the problem area to erase or write around the issue it raises that the author didn't perceive initially and likely would have avoided from the start if they HAD, because they AREN'T someone who wants to stand KNOWINGLY by that implication and what it says or suggests.....

Instead, this problem just gets turned into a generic fandom discourse issue about critique etiquette that addresses absolutely nothing, changes nothing, makes nothing about any of this better for ANYONE, just extends the problem to one likely to be repeated over and over again because it WILL never change so long as it remains something that isn't SUPPOSED to have attention brought to it, and all of this.

All of this.

Is just self-conscious defensiveness because people didn't want to be perceived as someone who either actually thought the things they'd unknowingly implied for WHATEVER reason, or didn't care/pay enough attention to notice as a problem in the first place....

Or else they just literally DON'T care enough about the content of what they're writing enough that they actually GIVE a shit about becoming better informed on it and thus better able to steer away from troubling implications or points of view in the future. Even if pointed out by survivors or people with personal experience as such that they recognize a problem even where the author didn't themselvse, no matter WHAT their own personal relationship with the subject matter is -

(because yeah, survivors of rape and abuse can absolutely perpetuate harmful viewpoints ourselves as well, because experiencing these things doesn't take away from our being exposed to just as much of the abuse/rape culture and apologia society and media churns out regularly enough that it can cloud ANYONE'S mind on this subject, without the addition or input of other points of view).

And either way, no matter what the reason is, when people aren't willing to even ENTERTAIN input, feedback, or potentially negative or even just AWARENESS-RAISING viewpoints in response to culturally influencing fictional content they put out via a variety of fairly wide-reaching platforms that can thus reach and influence any number of mindsets, from those of survivors to potential survivors to friends or families of survivors to people with no connection to abuse or rape whatsoever currently but for whom that could change at any time because we all meet new people every day and survivors could come into your life and be affected by your views and knowledge of abuse and rape culture and apologism at any point, even if you never become a survivor yourself -

(as is my ardent wish for anyone no matter HOW much I dislike or disagree with them personally. I don't expect or WANT people to be as fully informed on a lot of this stuff as I am personally, just like I'm not like, sad about not being MORE informed on the aspects or experiences stemming from it all that aren't personally relevant to my own life, because I'm additionally very aware that my own viewpoint is not definitive and not the monolithic voice for all survivors everywhere, I've literally only ever advocated for my own perspective on these matters and anyone of a like-mind which is an entirely opt-in POV that people have to decide for THEMSELVES if they feel that applies to them versus something that I'm CLAIMING on behalf of anyone but myself) -

Anyway. Bottom line is whatever the reason for WHY people are so avoidant on this topic, the end result is we've created a culture that says people are allowed to craft fictional viewpoints on any topic in any way to any degree...but the only impact that can ever be acknowledged is positive. Nobody can point out where things can be better. Nobody can point out where things are just fucking WRONG. The entertainment of whomever wrote the thing and whomever reads it and ISN'T bothered by it in any way, is eminently more important and worth protecting than the comfort of anyone who reads the thing and is not only troubled by the viewpoint made or claims presented on a matter they're intimately acquainted with in some form or to some degree themselves.....but then merely wants their viewpoint and concerns acknowledged and made part of the conversation so that both writer and readers can potentially apply that viewpoint and ANY additional perspective or information it contains to future works.

In essence, for all the free speech and censorship talk that gets thrown around fandom spaces....THIS kinda thing RIGHT HERE?

Is the most self-evident example I can come up with of ACTUALLY shutting down conversation and the spread and dissemination of information relevant to the topics being raised as points of interest every. single. day. in this fandom and most every other one I can think of.

So if peoples' ACTUAL goal was creating spaces where the people for whom fictional content is actually MOST relevant to are encouraged and outright TOLD to try and separate their feelings from that relevancy and treat it all as an abstract.....

Just so that people for whom this content already IS an abstract and nothing more, can refrain from having it made real and thus reality-impacting, and in doing so take away some of the escapism and FUN of it all, and make it a little more 'heavy' than they wanted when they turned to it for a bit of self-indulgent angst they never intended or expected to treat (or see treated) as anything more than that?

Then its like, congrats. You did it guys. That's what you've got here. That's what you've made.

Yay.

Go team.

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fuckyeahisawthat · 3 years

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Have you been asked yet to rank Trust eps? Cos I'm asking! But your the criteria for ranking I leave to you to decide.

Ahahahaha I’ll have you know I put way too much thought into this. :-D

Ok so first of all, there is no such thing as a bad episode of Trust. The whole thing is really tightly written, every character and plot thread has a purpose, and even the episodes that I haven’t watched over and over again are important to the overall story. And a lot of the impact of the show comes from things that are cumulative over multiple episodes.

That being said, I do have favorites. Since the definitive ranking of Primo’s outfits has already been taken care of, here is my ranking from least to most favorite based on some nebulous criteria of artistic/narrative effectiveness and emotional impact, my judgement of which is obviously highly subjective and also correct.

Under the cut because this got ummm unbelievably, ridiculously long.

10. The House of Getty (episode 1)

Sorry Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy, the pilot is my least favorite episode. Still think it was the wrong choice to open with a flashy (and, I can tell, expensive) sequence showcasing the death of a character we literally never see again. And, look, I’m an impatient viewer. If I don’t get someone to root for/emotionally identify with/otherwise catch my interest early on in a narrative, I’ll tune out. And Old Paul is not only unlikeable--far from a mortal sin in dramatic storytelling--he’s boring. I don’t care about any of his rich people problems, and I’m not the kind of viewer who can be kept engaged just by hating someone and watching them be terrible.

Some of the secondary characters in the Getty household do have interesting plotlines, but we don’t get to learn very much about them in the first episode. And I do think things get interesting once Little Paul shows up (although I maintain that the whole episode is more interesting if we understand what the stakes are for Paul getting the money), but if I had started watching this show with no context I wouldn’t have made it past Old Paul’s pre-coital erotica listening routine.

If this had been anything other than the first episode I might not have ranked it last, but extra penalty points for leading with your least interesting characters.

9. Lone Star (episode 2)

This episode is, I think, saddled by the fact that it has to do a lot of heavy lifting in terms of exposition and setup. It mostly works because Chace is an entertaining narrator, and once we get to Italy with Gail I think things zip along at a pretty good pace. Opens with an attempted rape to show how Bad the Bad Guys are, which is...not my favorite trope.

Once again, I think a lot of the information in this episode would have worked better if episode 3 had been episode 1. (We’d already know who Berto was when Chace meets him; we’d already know about the box of guns in the apartment; we’d know when certain characters are lying.) This whole show runs on the suspense of the audience being the only party who knows what’s going on with all the characters at once; I think trading mystery for suspense here was the wrong move. I also can’t help thinking there was pressure to front-load the well-known American actors in the beginning of the show at the expense of the strongest narrative choices.

Imo the best thing about this episode is the sort of...multiple competing images of Paul that emerge. His mom sees him as an innocent victim who couldn’t possibly have planned any of this. Chace sees him as a spoiled rich kid trying to swindle his granddad. Neither one of them has the complete truth.

Next we get into some episodes that are certainly not bad, but their greatness is more on the level of some bangin’ individual scenes than a whole package.

8. John, Chapter 11 (episode 6)

Again, this isn’t a bad episode. The main reason I put it near the end of the list is that the first time through I got sort of impatient during the first half. We, the audience, by virtue of our extra-textual knowledge, know that Paul can’t be dead, and we spend about half the episode before we know what really happened to him, which felt a bit too long to me.

This episode does have some fantastic individual scenes including: Leo talking Primo down in the farmhouse, Leo and Paul’s conversation about Angelo’s death, Gail being an absolute badass, and the meeting between Salvatore and Old Paul. A lot of these scenes are essential on a thematic level, but I don’t think the episode as a whole is the most streamlined.

7. Consequences (episode 10)

I debated for a while where to put this episode because the overall feeling of 57 Chekov’s guns going off in the space of one episode is SO satisfying, and the resolutions of some of the individual plotlines are delicious. Ultimately I would have liked more space for Paul and Gail and less Old Paul being grumpy about his substitute child museum’s mediocrity (although the scene with the bad reviews is hilarious). Once again I feel like the show creators felt they had to pull the focus back to Old Paul to wrap things up and I just. don’t care.

That being said. The resolution of Primo’s storyline? SO SATISFYING. And tbh I don’t dislike the scenes that exist with Paul and Gail; even the happy scenes have this poignant tone to them. I think they were trying to deal with the fact that his irl story is just...incredibly fucking tragic, and you can see a bit of the strain showing.

6. Kodachrome (episode 7)

I know episode 7 is not one of your personal favorites, but it’s the one where I think jumping between multiple plotlines/sets of characters is used to the most satisfying dramatic effect. It has this sense of dramatic irony that feels like some Shakespearean family tragedy. The whole episode, we are hoping that Paul Jr. will finally do the thing we want him to do, which is stand up to his father. And he does it--but at the absolute worst, most selfish and destructive moment possible.

Paul Jr. may be the literal worst, but I do have compassion for him in the flashbacks, mostly because it seems painfully apparent that no matter what he does, he will never be able to please his father. But he doesn’t seem to realize this, and he keeps trying, even as it’s destroying him and his relationship with his family. Credit to Michael Esper for his performance for making me feel a smidgen of compassion for this bastard.

I think the other thing this episode shows is how both of Paul’s parents keep putting him, a child, into roles and circumstances that he shouldn’t really be in. He’s wandering around through what seem like very much adult environments with his dad and Talitha in Morocco. In the Trust version of events he’s there when Talitha ODs and is the one trying to revive her while his dad is having a breakdown in the corner. Gail seems like the more responsible parent but there’s something about her bringing Paul as her “date” on a night out, and the understanding that this is a thing that happens regularly...to me the disturbing part is not so much bringing a young kid to a party with adults but the unspoken expectation that Little Paul will fill the void of companionship that his father has left empty. (Gettys expecting Little Paul to step in to cover for the failings of his father is a repeated theme, and it even plays into the ear thing. His family has failed to pay the ransom, so this is now a problem he has to solve himself.) Combine this all with Leonardo going, um, excuse me but what the actual fuck is wrong with your family? and I think it makes a very effective episode. And the last couple minutes had me yelling NOOOOOOOO GODDAMMIT because you can see what’s going to happen and you’re just watching it unfolding like a car wreck. Also has one of my hands-down favorite scenes, of Paul and Primo in the car waiting for the ransom.

5. White Car in a Snowstorm (episode 9)

The ~ D R A M A !!! ~ This episode is an opera. I mean this whole show is dramatique but episode 9 really leans into the vivid imagery--that snowy highway in the mountains above the sea, the all-white ransom exchange, Paul clinging to the pole at the shuttered Getty gas station, some Very Serious Mobsters throwing the ransom money around like idiots in a moment where you’re encouraged to be happy along with them.

This is also one of my favorite episodes for Primo and for Primo and Paul’s weird sometimes-alliance. Primo walking away from Salvatore to go tell Paul “they always pay in the end”? Primo and Paul teaming up to argue with Salvatore about why Paul shouldn’t die? Primo being all threateny to the doctor treating Paul because somewhere deep down he is worried (that’s my take and you’ll never convince me otherwise)? Primo dressing up to fake-scab on a postal strike in order to find a misplaced severed ear? All gold.

Fun fact: the letter Gail writes to President Nixon did happen in real life, but as far as I can tell the phone call did not. The real details of who convinced Old Paul to finally pay (some) of the ransom are considerably less cinematic. They’re the same amount of sexist though!

Ok now we are getting to the top tier...

4. That’s All Folks! (episode 4)

This is definitely the episode that took me from “ok this is fun” to “oh holy shit I’m invested now.” It’s the episode where we get introduced to most of the Calabrian characters and their world. It’s also the episode where we start to realize that Primo is not just a fun antagonist but is really a parallel protagonist to Little Paul, with his own set of relationships and motivations that we start to see from his POV. (I’d argue that, with the exception of his very first scene, we’ve mostly seen Primo through other characters’ gaze up until episode 4, and this is the point where we start watching him as like, the character whose pursuit of a goal we’re following over the course of the scene.)

This episode ranks high for capturing so much of the weird mix of tones that makes Trust work. It can be very funny. (I never fail to fuckin lose it when Fifty is on the phone with Gail the first time and when he’s talking to the thoroughly unimpressed newspaper switchboard operator.) It has this weird unexpected intimacy between characters you wouldn’t think would connect with each other. (Primo and Paul, Paul and Angelo; in retrospect the arc of the relationship between Primo and Leo gets started in that scene in Salvatore’s kitchen.) And it has one of the show’s absolute best record-scratch tone shifts when Primo gets the ransom offer. I remember saying “oh FUCK” out loud the first time I watched the end of that episode, when Primo comes back to the house, visibly drunk and clearly furious. We’ve seen him be violent plenty before now in the show, but always in a controlled, calculated way. This is the first time we see his potential for out-of-control rage-fueled violence and he’s terrifying!

3. La Dolce Vita (episode 3)

I stand by my claim that this episode (with a few minor continuity adjustments) should have been the pilot. Can you imagine a title card that’s like “Rome 1973” and then away we go with Paul snorting coke and taking racy photos and jumping on cops and fucking his girlfriend in what is definitely not proper museum etiquette, and then the smash cut to Primo intimidating and robbing and murdering people? And that’s the opening of the whole show? And you’re like how are these characters connected and then they meet each other and it’s the fucking sunflower field scene??

Anyway aside from the fact that I think knowing the information in this episode would have made episodes 1 and 2 more interesting...it’s just a great fucking episode. It’s kinetic and propulsive and funny and tense and violent and features Primo’s sniper skills and his ass in those cornflower blue trousers. I rest my case.

2. Silenzio (episode 5)

I’ll be honest, I went back and forth on the top two a bunch. Silenzio is definitely my personal favorite episode, and I’d argue that it’s the best written, in terms of what it accomplishes narratively, which is to keep you emotionally invested in both Paul and Angelo trying to escape with their lives, and Primo and Leonardo hunting them down. That’s so fucking hard!! And yes some of it is great acting but it starts from the foundation of the writing. It’s just such a perfect little self-contained horror movie, and it has this profound sense of fatalism to it, because you know from the beginning (if only by virtue of only being halfway through the series) that Paul is not going to escape, and you sort of know that there is only one way this will end for Angelo. And yet they escape by the skin of their teeth so! many! times!

It’s also the episode where you see how much power the ‘Ndrangheta has over people’s lives in this community: Salvatore is like God, calling his servants to him with the church bells. Combine that with the visuals of two characters running for their lives mostly on foot through this unforgiving landscape, and you really get the sense of this environment as a harsh place where most people have a very constrained set of choices, and the claustrophobia of that. You get the sense in this episode that everyone is trapped in these expectations of violence and duty and honor. Angelo did what anyone with compassion would do, and saved Paul from what seemed like certain death, and he’s doomed for it. At the same time Primo is doing exactly what anyone would expect him to do in response to a subordinate who disobeyed him. In some ways the end of the episode feels inevitable, unsurprising, and yet they do SUCH a good job of winding up the tension until the literal last seconds of the episode, and then releasing it with a big dramatic bang. It’s so good!!

1. In the Name of the Father (episode 8)

Ok I’ll be honest the ONLY reason In the Name of the Father edged out Silenzio for the top spot is that it is really clear they pulled out all the stops in terms of making this episode feel extra heightened in a show where everything is already heightened. Like, the cinematography is different? They still use handheld a lot but I swear there are more still shots and more extreme, editorial camera angles like that shot of Francesco looking upward in church where the camera is looking down from above him. I can’t tell if they actually tweaked the color grading or if the bright white and blood red just stand out against the Calabrian color palette which is mostly earth tones, browns and greens and blues.

There are just. So many layers to this episode. The imagery! The literal sacrificial lamb at the beginning, Francesco being guided by Leonardo through an act of violence against an animal, something that I’m sure they don’t even see as violence but just part of farm life, part of survival and in this case part of a celebration, but something that fathers teach their sons how to do as part of becoming a man in this world. Paul as the metaphorical sacrificial lamb later, drawing parallels to Jesus (the lamb of God), Isaac (a father sacrificing his son), any number of martyred saints, pick your Catholic imagery. The blood of the lamb on the tree stump and Paul’s blood on the stone. The communion wafer (the body and blood of Christ) and Francesco at the end with Paul’s blood and a literal piece of his body held in his hands the same way.

And then there is like, the suspense of watching everyone marking time through the steps of this community ritual that’s supposed to be a joyful, communal celebration, while we know that there is a secret ticking away under the surface. The slow unfolding of the lie told to one person spreading to everyone in the village, and then the knowledge that Salvatore knows spreading to all the people who’ll be in trouble for that. The relationship arcs between the main Calabrian characters...not resolving, but sliding into place for the final act. Primo finally being done with Salvatore. Primo and Leo’s alliance being cemented and Leo physically stepping between Primo and Salvatore, to protect Primo. (No one ever protects Primo!! Still not over it!!!!) The confirmation celebration as a mirror of the Getty party in episode 1, the parallels drawn between the 3 Pauls and Salvatore-Primo-Francesco and how Primo reacts to being passed over as heir vs. how Paul Jr. reacts. Little Paul having two whole minutes of screen time and managing to break your heart with them. Regina! Just...Regina’s whole everything. The music going all-instrumental for an episode and having this haunting, dreamlike but still tense quality to it. And the fact that we never cut away from Calabria to another plotline gives the whole episode this hypnotic, all-encompassing quality. It’s just. SO GOOD!!!!

#fadagaski #asks answered #trust fx #long post #so so long omg #i can't believe how long i spent writing this but HERE IT IS #trust alternate watch order

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aestheticvoyage2022 · 2 years

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Day 101: Monday April 11, 2022 - “Sicky Baby”

This post contributed by Audrie after an evening run to the ER with William:

William turned 10 months old today. His bright bubbly bossy personality has been shining through more and more as his ability to explore his world increases and his horizons stretch out further with each new milestone. We’ve been blessed with a healthy and happy Joy-Baby for 10 whole months; it is hard to remember anything but the perfect moments because there is an overflow of smiles, giggles, gleeful claps, and triumphant new developments. And while we do celebrate all that today, what will be forever remembered about this day is spending the evening with big scary vomit, endless gagging dry heaves, and ultimately a listless baby we rushed to the ER. There’s lots to be grateful for here in this story. First, while this was beyond scary, by the end of the long night we were back home with a sleeping baby — not admitted and William seemed to U-turn around from sick back to healthy just as quickly as the illness struck. Not a lot of answers but lots of serious diagnosis ruled out. The whole event started a few days before on Thursday night when we had our first ever “vomit” — the out-of-no-where-projectile-real-food-stinky-definitly-not-spit-up — kind. He threw up a few times, but with no other symptoms, no fever, we figured it was something he ate that didn’t agree with him — ode to that “questionable cheese.” We put him to bed and watched him closely in the baby monitor. On Friday all was normal, no signs of illness, and we even went ahead with plans to attend playgroup. But Friday night, just after dinner, as if like clockwork, the episodic vomit came again. Hmmm, this was weird, but again, no other signs of illness, and not presenting as sick other than the up-chuck which was shorter lived this time around. The weekend went by without a single puke incident. So we were all surprised when, after spaghetti dinner (one of William’s favorite) and before bath, the big-puke started up again this Monday-Ten-Month-Marker-Night. Laura and I looked at each other, puzzled, but now both obviously more concerned. Our mom-medical-brains churned over possibilities — A stomach bug? Maybe, but no fever or other symptoms, no one else sick. Some new food not agreeing with him? Perhaps, but a quick recount of the days he threw up and the things he had eaten didn’t unveil anything wildly new nor many of the same newer foods or combinations on the days he was puking. We were stumped, and with doting and empathetic eyes, and tender hands we held him as he gaged and retched over and over emptying his tiny gut, clearly uncomfortable, it was more than intolerable for us to watch happen, feeling helpless. We got him into bath, where the vomit heaves continued in waves, and with nervous looks at each other, Laura and I watched carefully as our minds continued to churn. Then everything changed in one instant — the moment William started to “check out” and became suddenly lethargic turning listless at the end of his bath. And between the towel wrap and the changing table, he was suddenly nearly unconscious. Things evolved fast from there, and we moved just as quickly — “Jake we have a problem, I need you,” I hollered out to the boys in the yard working on the mailbox project. Jake took one look at our baby boy and had the same instant dread fill his eyes and face. Daddy even gave him a little love pinch on his booty to try to rouse our limp-boo-boo, but it was returned with zero response or reaction from our baby. He was fading fast. And a parent’s worst fear washed over both of us. We’re going to the ER, the only question was how - to self drive or to call an ambulance. Driving might be faster. We scrambled into the car, by slapping a diaper and a couple swaddle blankets on the still-wet-limp baby, throwing on shoes and a sweater on ourselves, and in under a minute William was a heavy helpless lump in my arms in the back of the car as Laura drove the Prius out of our neighborhood and in-route to TMC.

Its wild how the protective fight for life instinct kicks in during an emergency with your child. My brain was laser focused on this tiny offspring, and also going 100 mph in other directions all at the same time — Which hospital? TMC has a children’s ER we got good care there for surgery post birth, and they have more specialists, its closer than Banner, lets go there. Who else to call/What else to do to get this baby what he needs STAT? Tried the pediatrician on call, no answer right away — I know, I will call TMC and tell them they have an incoming sick baby — no telling if it would make a difference, but sitting there in the car holding a check out baby, I felt helpless and this filled the need to try to help him. The call proved to pay off as when I hurried up to the check in window at the Children’s ER, someone from the back said to the man behind the glass “Thats the baby” and with a few quick questions answered and new insurance handed over they whisked us into the triage area, took a weight on William, and for the first time since leaving the house I was looking down at him in the light, to notice his skin was totally colorless and pale, and his lips were blue. He was mildly awake but not alert. This was not my baby. They pricked his tiny finger for a glucose test, looked good, and his O2 also looked good — why is he blue? I answered a parade of rapid fire questions, and suddenly we were being ushered from the triage through double doors across the hall and into a room. By the time Laura had parked the car and come up the hallway, we were already getting into a room, by that time William was already hooked up to leads and monitors, and we had a nurse assigned. In less than 5 minutes, the doctor was in the room. Listening to the mysterious illness story, examining William and devising a plan. We will do some meds to try to settle his tummy (zofran, orally), and out of extreme precaution, he also wanted to order a CT of his head — Could this be a head injury? Surly not, but lets look. I also asked about an X-Ray of his abdomen, could he have eaten something not-edible, like Havarti and the rocks he ingested when he was a puppy. I’ll forever be sold on TMC for urgent care for our boy — they acted fast, and were so courteous, keeping me informed and with William the entire time. CT happened so fast, they wheeled me up the hall with William on my lap, meanwhile I reached the on call pediatrician. Dr Abdey assured me we were in the right place and made the right call rushing him in. No sooner after we were back from the CT was the doctor in the room again telling us it was clear/showed nothing abnormal, next came the zofran, which only stayed down for 5 minutes before it came back out again with more gags and heavy heaves from William’s tiny body. We tried breastfeeding after that but he couldn’t keep that down either. It was time for an IV and fluids and some more of the zofran through the IV this time. This seemed to do the trick, and about 1/3 of the way into the IV, our listless zoned out limp sad baby started to perk back up and my baby returned to me. After 190cc’s of fluids, some blood work that now came back normal, and he was able to keep some Pedialite. With still no clear picture on what caused this bizarre ailment, the doctor went ahead and ordered an X-Ray of his body to look for a foreign object. It was done right in the room, by two kind and curious technicians. And, that also came back clear. We waited for the IV to finish and it became increasingly clear William was returning to himself just tired (obviously) as midnight was approaching. The good news was he was doing better and the big-immediate-scary-concerns were ruled out. We were released to go home, with instructions to keep table foods very bland and mild for both William and me, and follow up with pediatrician. Follow up would soon put us on the track to see a GI specialist and a potential diagnosis of a rare food allergy that William should out grow after his toddler years. After sitting with this for a few days, tracking everything that went into his body since the vomit started, the household consensus is that the culprit might be as innocent as Cheerios of all things. Maybe not even the oats, perhaps the chemicals they put on the crop. Thats my instinct.

There is nothing more terrifying than being a concerned parent over a sick baby. And tonight Jake and I were breathing a little easier knowing he was feeling better, peacefully sleeping between us in bed.

"A Sick Child is always a Mother's Property; her own feelings generally make it so." - Jane Austen

Song: Leftover Salmon - Lovin’ In My Baby’s Eyes

Quote: “We'd get sick on too many cookies, but ever so much sicker on no cookies at all.” ― Sinclair Lewis

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myakavi · 4 years

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ARTHUR "DIJNU" FOR FLUFFY ALPHABET PLEASE HEHEHEHEH

THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOUUUU ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much for requesting dear!! :) you were my first, so I really hope you like it 💖

Arthur Conan Doyle - Fluff Alphabet: D, I, J, N, U

D = Dream (what do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

I think sometimes people forget that the boys have lived whole lives before, and when I think about Arthur this point really comes to mind. It's acknowledged in his route that this boy has a decent amount of trauma and insecurity from all the things that happened in his past life; because of that, I kind of get the feeling that Artie isn't looking for some huge, noble dream to fulfill. He wants to do good for the world, to ease the burdens of others, but through the simpler things. He wants to take your hand in his and Vic's leash in the other and go out and enjoy every moment you spend together, laughing and exploring and just never getting enough of each other. That would make him happiest.

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

Dispite being a total thot, Arthur probably sees more to contact and closeness than what his Horny tells him. I think that he finds a lot of comfort in feeling someone pressed against his chest or with their arms around him, and you offering that to him because you truly love him is a treasure. He values that stability more than words can express; knowing that you will always be there, knowing that he can bury his nose into your hair or intertwine his fingers with yours, knowing that nothing will ever change.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Arthur is a jealous boy 😭 he can't help it

I feel like he would be more prone to jealousy and very adept at recognizing men making moves on you because,,, he WAS that man once, not very long ago. He knows the ins and outs of flirting and even if it goes over your head he is quick to notice and slide an arm around your waist, flashing this challenger a confident smile. But that confidence is sometimes skin deep, because Arthur has his moments where he worries that maybe you would be happier with a man like that. He tries to keep it to himself because he knows those thoughts are just foolish doubts, but when you catch his smile faltering later on, you can reassure him with a kiss on the nose. It is something he is immensely grateful for, and will remind himself of whenever he feels that dreariness again.

N = Nightmare (What is their worst fear?)

Goodness,,,, this poor baby deserves everything and the thought of him having nightmares breaks my HEART

That nightmare could be a number of things, but it's probably insufficiency. It's the loss of your trust, or his inability to do enough. His biggest desire as an individual is to ease the pain of others in the world, hence being a doctor. However, failure at that is his biggest torment. After your arrival at the mansion, you become his world, that one thing he wishes to hold close and spend life with, and the thought of him slipping up, doing something to hurt you, or just not being good enough is easily his greatest fear. Please don't leave him 🥺

U = Upset (How do they act when you’re upset?)

If he's the one who's messed up, he's very quick to apologize—so quick he sometimes fixes the problem before you even noticed it yourself. Arthur has the Sherlock Power when it comes to reading people, especially you, and it's not hard at all for him to figure out what exactly is the matter. He loves using physical affection to cheer you up (#1 backhug specialist) and knows very well that sporadic cheek, jaw, and neck kisses as well as some flirty teases do the trick to taking your mind off something stressful. If it's more serious, he's a very good listener and will gladly hold your hand as you talk it out. He just wants to see you happy and will do anything for that, be it some alone time or an evening walk through Paris.

💖💖💖

If you are interested in requesting, read the pinned post on my profile! I'm more than happy to write for you :)

SORRY IF THIS WAS A MESS OR I HAD TYPOS 😩😩 ITS 1AM MY BRAIN CANT TELL ANYKORE BAJSHAJAJ

#ikemen vampire fanfiction #ikemen vampire #writing #reader insert #romance #ikevamp arthur conan doyle #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp arthur headcanons #arthur conan doyle headcanons #arthur conan doyle fluff #ikevamp fluff #ikevamp hcs #ikevamp headcanons #ikemen vampire headcanons #ikemen vampire fluff

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bellakitse · 4 years

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Ooh I love this prompt list! How about “Ah, the puppy dog face. Check mate, huh?”

Pancakes and Coffee Syrup

Opening the bathroom door again, he stops, freezing like a deer caught in the headlights when he finds his boyfriend’s father standing just outside the bathroom. From the way he’s dressed, it’s obvious he’s just come home from the overnight TK told him he was on.

“Good morning, Carlos,” he greets him calmly. Like this is a regular occurrence for them to run into each other outside his bathroom, and instead, not the first time ever that Carlos has spent the night in his house.

Carlos spends the night at the Strand household, Owen makes him breakfast in the morning.

30 days of Tarlos - Day 15

Carlos wakes up with a pleasantly warm body next to him. He opens his eyes to find soft green walls instead of his dark navy ones; it takes him a moment to realize he’s not in his bed, and therefore, not his apartment. The night before comes back to him in flashes like a dream. He remembers showing up at the Strand household, TK opening the door with a mischievous grin on his face before he pulled him in by his shirt, his mouth on Carlos’ before he could even say hello.

They’d stumbled towards his bedroom, touching and giggling like schoolboys as they kissed any inch of skin they could reach. When they got to his room, TK had pushed him on the bed, and all Carlos could do was watch in awe as this beautiful man smiled down at him. His green eyes shining as they crinkled at the corners before he climbed into his lap, stealing his breath with every kiss he gave him.

They’d spent the night making love, taking turns pressing into the deepest parts of their bodies until they shook with pleasure.

Carlos has always enjoyed sex, and knows he’s a good and considerate lover who knows how to please his partners. Yet he can honestly say he’s never had sex like the kind of sex he has with TK before. Everything is heightened with TK; his want and need for him are more intense than he’s ever felt with anyone else.

He looks down at the man in question; there are locks of soft brown hair in his face as TK sleeps with his head on his chest, his mouth parted in his sleep to the point that there is a small trail of drool from the corner of his mouth.

Carlos rolls his eyes at himself when he finds it adorable, he’s stupidly gone on this guy, but there’s nothing he can do when his heart thumps funnily over him.

He starts to move, shifting from under TK slowly and quietly, he’s unable to stop his smile when TK whines in his sleep and tries to cling to him. He considers staying for a moment, but he really needs to pee.

He heads for the bathroom to relieve himself. After washing his hands, he splashes some water in his face and steals some mouthwash.

“Captain Strand,” he croaks out, swallowing hard under the embarrassment he feels at getting caught half-dressed by his boyfriend’s father.

“I think if you and TK have progressed to having sleepovers here, instead of just at your apartment, you can call me Owen,” he says with an easy smile.

“Right, of course,” he answers, trying to be polite. “I’m going to get my clothes and get out of here; I’m sure you want to get some sleep, sir.”

“Are you saying if you stayed, I wouldn’t get sleep?” Owen questions, there is an amused twinkle in his eyes that makes Carlos wince. “Is that how loud you and my son are? I’m not going to get any complaints from the neighbors, am I?”

Carlos stares at him, his mind going completely blank.

How do you even answer that?

If it’s with honesty, then the answer to that would be yes, he and TK are very vocal in bed, but even though it’s obvious Owen is messing with him, he’s pretty sure that’s not the answer the man wants.

“Uhh – “ he tries, but nothing else comes out.

Owen chuckles amused with himself, and with him, it seems.

“I’m joking,” he assures him. “I don’t want to know at all if that’s the case.

Carlos presses his lips together and gives him a nod.

“I don’t go to sleep right away after an overnight,” Owen starts, he jerks his head towards the rest of the house. “I was going to make some breakfast. TK will get up when he smells the food. Why don’t you join me?” Owen continues with a smile and then looks at him up and down. “After you put some pants on, of course.”

Carlos can feel his face go hot from the root of his hair to his chest; it doesn’t help that Owen’s mouth twitches like he’s seconds away from laughing. He nods one more time.

“Good,” Owen says pleased, clapping his hands once. “I’ll see you in the kitchen.”

Carlos goes back into TK’s bedroom; his boyfriend is now spread out like a starfish, still dead to the world as he sleeps. He considers waking him up in a moment of panic, but in the end, with a sigh, decides against it. He puts on his clothes from the night before, grateful that his shirt didn’t have any buttons for TK to snap off in his usual impatience to get Carlos out of his clothes.

Walking over to TK, he leans down to press a kiss on the side of his face, smiling at the soft sound TK makes in his sleep before taking a deep breath as he leaves the room.

He likes Captain Strand, both professionally and personally, just because he also happens to be the father of the man he’s quickly falling in love with, doesn't mean he needs to be afraid.

Walking into the kitchen, he finds Owen stirring ingredients in a bowl.

“Do you like blueberry pancakes?” he asks, looking up from what he’s doing.

“Yes, I do,” he answers; honestly, he likes any type of pancakes.

“Great,” Owen says with a smile. “Blueberry for you and me, then, TK isn’t really a fan, he prefers – “

“ – Banana chocolate chip,” he says, shrugging when Owen looks over at him surprised. “I’ve made breakfast for him when he spends the night; he has a sweet tooth in the morning.”

Owen nods, the corners of his mouth quirk upward. “He does,” he says softly. “When we lived in the city, he would have a donut, a Danish or a bear claw, and some frosted monstrosity he likes to call coffee every morning. Even when it’s plain black coffee, he puts some kind of flavored syrup in it.”

Carlos makes a face as he agrees with him. “I know, there is caramel, french vanilla and hazelnut in my cupboards now," he tells him. “I dragged him to the store the other day to buy some things for dinner, and he was eyeing a bubble gum flavored syrup, I had to put my foot down.”

“Did he pout?” Owen asks, grinning when he rolls his eyes. “You caved, didn’t you?”

“He gave me the puppy dog face,” he explains, scowling when Owen laughs.

“Ah, the puppy dog face,” Owen chuckles, shaking his head. “Checkmate, huh?”

Carlos lets out a loud sigh, even though he doesn’t mean it. He has no problem caving to TK; he likes to make him smile, even if it’s over something gross like bubble gum syrup.

“Don’t feel bad, kid,” Owen says as he starts to pour the batter on a skillet. “TK perfected that face before the age of two, he’s a pro, and we’re all suckers for it.”

“That would explain why he’s so good at it,” he murmurs. “He makes it, and I find myself saying yes to whatever he wants.”

“He gets that from his mother,” Owen explains as he looks back at him with a sympathetic face. “It’s the green eyes; she has them too. She would turn them on me, and I would be putty in her hands.”

Carlos smiles at the tidbit of information; he doesn’t know much about TK’s mom. He doesn’t speak much about her, except when he does, he does it with deep affection, so he knows they’re close, maybe not as much as TK and his dad, but it’s obvious he loves her.

“Accept your fate now,” Owen continues as he warns him. “It makes life easier.”

“I have,” he answers, he stops for a moment before continuing, his heart jumping as he speaks. “Fact is, your son has me wrapped around his little finger.”

Owen looks at him for a moment, studying him, and Carlos lets him, not hiding away from the man’s scrutiny. He doesn’t want to hide his feelings from TK’s dad; he wants him to know how much he cares for his son and that he’s not going anywhere.

“From what I can see, the feeling is mutual,” Owen starts to say, giving him a meaningful look as he turns serious. “You know about New York and before we came here?”

Carlos nods, swallowing hard as he remembers TK telling him everything the night of the solar flares. TK didn’t want to start anything with him before Carlos knew what he was getting into, he told him about his ex, the pills, and the OD before asking him if he still wanted to be with him. Carlos had gotten out a broken yes before pulling TK into a tight hug, grateful that life hadn’t taken him away before he got a chance to know him, to love him.

“I didn’t think my son would be happy anytime soon after that,” Owen tells him quietly, the pain he feels for TK etched into every line of his face. He gives him a small smile after a moment of quiet between them. “But he lights up when he’s around you, doesn’t matter where, at the firehouse, the bar or a call, you show up, and he smiles. I don’t have the words to thank you enough for that.”

Carlos opens his mouth, trying to find the words around the lump in his throat. He wants to tell Owen that he doesn’t need to thank him, that it’s his privilege and honor to make TK happy. He wants to say to him that it’s all he wants to do, to make TK smile and joyful. He wants to tell him that he’s the one that’s grateful because having TK in his life is a blessing, one he’s thankful for every day.

He wants to tell the man before him that he’s in love with his son.

The look Owen gives him tells him he doesn’t need to say any of it, Owen already knows.

A moment later, Owen looks over his shoulder, a smile on his face, and that’s all the warning Carlos gets before arms wrap around his waist.

“I thought you had left,” TK mumbles into his back, his voice still thick with sleep. “But then I saw your shoes.”

Carlos turns, lifting his arm over TK’s head to wrap it around him, bringing him to his side. He looks down as TK cuddles into his chest and sees he still has his eyes mostly closed. “Your dad offered to make me pancakes.”

TK cracks open an eye, looking over at his father suspiciously. “Banana chocolate chip?” he questions, getting an eye roll back from Owen.

“For you, yes,” his dad tells him. “Carlos and I will be having blueberry pancakes.”

“Weirdos,” TK mumbles, now leaning more heavily on him.

“How about I get you some coffee,” he suggests walking TK over to the kitchen table and sitting him down.

“Hmm, yes,” TK moans appreciatively. “With two pumps of hazelnut, please.”

Carlos shakes his head at him before turning towards the coffee machine, Owen points at one of the cabinets where Carlos finds familiar bottles of coffee syrups. With two pumps into the coffee, he turns back to TK, who is finally looking more awake.

He smiles brightly at him as he gives him his coffee. TK takes a sip, letting out another pleased sound.

“Good?” he asks, smirking down at him.

TK bobs his head as he reaches for his shirt, tugging him down as he tilts his head up. Carlos lets him, closing his eyes as TK gives him a light kiss.

“Sweet, just like you,” he says, grinning up at him. Looking over at his dad as he starts serving the plates, he lowers his voice. “Everything okay? He didn’t give you a hard time, right?”

Carlos shakes his head as he thinks back to everything Owen just said to him, he looks over at the man to find him watching them with a soft look on his face. When he catches his eyes, he sees the joy and, once again, gratitude in his expression. Looking at TK, he sees the care for him in his.

“No, sweetheart,” he says, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “He was great.”

TK smiles brightly at him in response, happy just like Owen said, and it fills him with warmth to know he’s the cause.

“Everything is great.”

#911 lone star #tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star fic #30 days of tarlos #my writing #tk x carlos #anon #ask #Anonymous

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shewantedtobeasecretgirl · 3 years

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11. The Lovecats a.k.a an irresistible offer, a guy in proper clothes and a dangerous ginger

In the previous chapters: Effie gives a few pictures taken by her to Krisha who promises to show them to Kelly Curtis but Effie rushes away in the middle of the conversation to avert a date crisis between Judy and Jeff . After Mike’s awkward one-night-stand and the embarrassing intermezzo between Judy and Stone in the shower (that might have been seen by someone else too), the bunch is gathering at breakfast time in a bistro near the motel. Their exchange gets interrupted by Eric who has bad news for them.

„Guys, we have a problem.”

Ugh… if I was a road manager and the band I’m managing had a show tonight and the lead singer had lost his voice due to his uncontrolled yelling, maybe I’d call it a problem. But I’m a lead singer of a band that is supposed to play a show tonight who lost his voice due to his uncontrolled yelling so I just call it an as fucked-up dumpster fire as possible.

I can barely understand the reactions since everyone in the bunch is desperately shouting at us.

“Has Karrie disappeared?”

“Did Suns defeat Sonics? I knew it!”

“Is the Twelfth Amendment coming into effect again?”

“We’re out of weed?”

Yeah, preferences.

“Hey, everyone, calm the fuck down!” Eric tries to talk them down. “It’s about the show tonight. We… we probably have to cancel it.”

“What? Why? No way!” the cacophony goes on and it only stops when Eric shuts them up with a loud whistle using his fingers.

“Should I explain calm or fuck or down?” he asks annoyed. “The thing is… Ed has lost his voice. He’s not even able to speak.”

“But… how?” Stone stares at us with clueless face. Such a smart guy and such a stupid question.

“He obviously forgot it in a public restroom and by the time he went back, it was already gone. Jesus.” Judy rolls her eyes playing with her fork. Thanks Judy, that’s what I was thinking about, now that you’ve translated it into Sarcasm, Stone might understand too.

“Actually, he accidentally flushed it down the toilet. In case you need to know the exact details to process it, Stoney.” Beth supports her with an audacious grin.

“No problem, we send Jeff down in the canal, I’m sure he’ll find it.”

“I’m able to deal with any shit except yours, Stone.” Jeff retorts, getting a snort from Judy as a reward.

“If I was you, I wouldn’t be so proud of that…”

“Seriously, what happened?” Mike cuts the forming exchange off.

“He was complaining about having a sore throat already yesterday evening too… he was working on a few lyrics but he felt tired and fell asleep relatively early and by this morning… nothing, he can only whisper, I’m afraid…”

“NO!!!” Judy interrupts her and blushes in a second since suddenly, all eyes are fixed on her. “I mean he mustn’t whisper, that’s the worst he can do.”

He? Hey, I lost my voice, not my hearing or my mind.

“It kills vocal cords, which can even lead to neck pains, I’m speaking from experience.”

“Really?” Eric frowns in disbelief.

“He has probably laryngitis. I mean, I’m not sure, he should see an otorhinolaryngologist for an exact diagnose but it’s very likely. It’s mostly viral or bacterial but extreme overburdening doesn’t help either… and extreme overburdening is a pretty euphemistic description for what you’re doing every night, sorry Ed but someone has to finally say it.” she addresses me but my only answer is a helpless shrug. I’m sure I do something wrong but I was procrastinating to face my limits until now and… here’s the result.

“And now she’s already a doctor too. And she completed the medical program in one single night, remarkable.”

“Shut up Stone.” Eric interjects not taking his eyes off of Judy.

“And how long is the regeneration period?” Beth asks, digging her face into my shoulder, which makes me reach for her neck instinctively. She rubs her cheek against my back like a lazy cat as she’s enjoying the improvised massage.

“Well, he shouldn’t speak for a few days but singing is another case, maybe one month…” My hand stops.

“What?” Beth screams right into my ear as her head perks up. Okay, so much for my hearing.

“It depends but usually after a laryngitis, you win back your singing voice note by note, beginning from the nether region.”

“Whoa, Camden, you’re getting naughtier and naughtier…”

“Spirits sometimes help…”

“That’s what I’m telling you all the time!” Mike hits the table with his fist.

“… but it’s only symptomatic treatment, if it’s bacterial, antibiotics are the ultimate solution. And… although I definitely do not support anything that kills throat but I know that singers often get a Calcium shot if they have to perform when having voice problems. So... that would maybe help shorten the silence phase.” Judy explains unwillingly.

“So… let’s summarize what you’re suggesting: we bring Ed to an expert, convince the doctor to give him a Calcium shot and swear he won’t sing for a month… and we cancel the show tonight… and then... we’ll see?” Eric looks at Judy for reassurance.

“Kind of… but I have serious doubts if he can let any note out this week. But are you sure the show must be canceled? I mean, what if someone else sang? Stone? You like singing, don’t you?”

Judy, you have a huge luck that I’m not able to ask publicly why you know about that.

“Jesus, no, I’m not a singer.”

“Aren’t you?” she provokes him raising one eyebrow.

“Nah. Plus, I can’t sing while I’m playing the guitar, I’ve already tried it but every time I try sing, I fuck the riffs up.”

“And he cusses every time he talks. He’d be lynched by the crowd in like ten seconds.” Jeff adds. “Anyway, I’m the other one who sings the backup vocals, maybe I…”

“NO WAY!” everybody protests in unison.

“Okay, okay, it was just an idea…”

“A very bad idea. We would end up playing odes about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, geez…”

Actually, why would it be that bad? He’s like a childhood hero to me. Plus, Stone wouldn’t be a better choice either, our crowd isn’t prepared for a rock cover of The Lumberjack Song.

“No, we have no other choice.”

“Maybe…”

“I SAID NO WHISPERING!” Judy nips my attempt to join the conversation in the bud. I reach in the chest pocket of my shirt because I think this is the right moment to use my latest invention. Beth immediately gets it and jumps in the middle.

“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, I’m Beth Liebling, your favorite hostess and when I say favorite, I mean it.” she emphasizes the ongoing pun about the meaning of her last name with exaggerated winks. “Many of us have certainly experienced sore throat when swallowing or coughing is extremely painful and speaking seems to be impossible. The lack of communication makes us feel isolated and if we’re surrounded with sarcastic people, unsolved conflicts may result in anger issues.”

“I’m not angry at all, everything’s fine.” Stone smirks.

“But as always, we offer you a solution to tackle these difficulties and to present this incredible product, I ask my handsome partner, Edward for some help.” she pulls me next to herself by the sleeve of my shirt. I put on my dumbest smile and wait for the cue.

“Interaction cards!” she announces with pretended enthusiasm and glances at me. I lift the deck in my hand to eye level and show it around, still with the tooth-flashing fake smile.

“They make possible to maintain basic communication with the simplest messages.”

I present the first two cards with the words “yes” and “no”.

“Give me the “no”, I’ll buy it.” Stone grabs for it. I should have known.

“They also make us capable of expressing our current feelings.”

I spread out the next cards saying “shit”, “damn”, “fuck” and “I love you”.

“Aww. Give me that one!” Mike reaches out for the latter.

“Some of them declare basic axioms…” I wave with the “Pete Townshend is god” card. “No one? No problem, we’ve still got great stuff for our customers: the combined interaction cards!”

I flip through the deck and pick the “Fuck you Bush/republicans/Nazis/racists/homophobic assholes!” card.

“That’s cute, so heartfelt!” Eric presses his hand against his chest and takes it from me with the other one. I keep searching and giggle in advance when I finally pick the “Fuck you Stone!” card.

“Mine!” Judy and Jeff both almost fall out of the booth and then exchange a grin. Although Jeff was the faster, he places the card onto his palm and kneels down in front of her.

“In token of my appreciation, milady…” he offers it to the girl. To my biggest surprise, her first embarrassment evaporates quickly and she plays along.

“I’m always going to wear it over my heart.” she puts it into the chest pocket of her dungaree dress.

“How cheesy.” Stone comments dropping a piece of Emmentaler from his cheese plate into his mouth.

I nudge Beth to show her the card I made for her when she wasn’t looking. When she reads the “I love you, Beth” text on it, she slowly steps to me, laces her arms around my neck and pulls me into a relaxing, soft kiss. I capture her in a bear hug, letting her bury her head into my chest so that I can kiss the top of it and feel the familiar smell of the shampoo she’s used since I met her…

“Booo, the hostess is fucking the stage prop, disgusting…”

“Look, she’s licking the germs out of his mouth, ew…”

I try to ignore the childish remarks of Mike and Stone, luckily, Eric steers the conversation back to more professional questions.

“I guess I have to make a few phone calls, starting with the club, the guys who bought the ticket should receive refund… and I try to get a doctor for Ed, maybe we should try it in Charlotte, I don’t think we could find a specialist here…” he starts thinking loud, getting lost in the current, messy “to do” list he’s keeping in his pocket.

“„Sssooo… since the show has been canceled, I guess we have tons of time for the guitar lesson you asked for.” Jeff changes the topic with a huge grin, without the slightest intention of hiding his joy. And with the definite intention of using every occasion to spend more time alone with her.

“Guitar lesson? From Jeff?” Stone scoffs. “You know he didn’t become a bassist by chance, don’t you?”

“I must admit Stone’s right. There’s a particular reason for it… This bony asshole can’t hold a bass. We tried it, I swear but he ended up with his face in the concrete. If you take a closer look, you can notice that his Les Paul is only a cardboard replica too. He just pretends to play it, actually, it is Scully who plays his parts behind the amps.”

Judy bursts out in a heartfelt laughter, finally, Jeff has figured out that the way to her heart leads through well-played jokes. Possibly at Stone’s expense.

“I guess we could hang out together even tonight…” Jeff recommends with a cautious squint. That’s it, strike the iron while it’s hot…

“Tonight? But what about the show???”

“What show, Stone? We’ve just decided to cancel it…”

“But the supporting act is Tribe After Tribe! You love them, you’ve wanted to see them playing live since Tom Petty gave you their record! I definitely go and watch them!” Stone pouts like a child whose parents are about to call off the family visit to Disneyland.

“Shit… I mean, that’s true, they’re amazing… maybe you could come too…?”

“Nah, I don’t think so, I could finally sleep through the whole night… but we don’t have to do the soundcheck today, we could have the first lesson instead.”

“Hey Camden, you have a lot to learn, no one said you can skip today’s work!”

“I start with turning your volume down��” Judy retorts and turns immediately back to Jeff. “So, what do you say?”

“Sure… I mean, maybe you end up teaching me. But sooner or later, I have to figure out what I’m doing so…”

They both stand up, and as they are walking towards the exit, they keep talking, leaving the sour-faced Stone behind. I can only guess the reason of the change in her behavior… Jeff Ament, you’d better not mess up your chance.

***

„Granny, stop turning your head all the time! I can also hear you when you’re looking straight ahead. Otherwise I mess up your hair!”

“Effie darling, I’m an old woman, I don’t want to be pretty, I just want shorter hair so that I can comb it easier after hair wash.” she answers, of course she can’t help moving her head this time either.

“Granny! What did I just say? Okay, I accept that you don’t care about your look but I don’t lend my name to anything. Plus, if you keep squirming, I might even cut you. Or myself. Geez, I don’t know what happened to your hair after it had turned grey, it’s like barbed wire, maybe I should try it with a machete…” I mutter as I try to straighten her strands with a comb before I start cutting.

“I’ve told you, you can do anything with it, my body is a rusty, old machine, I can’t lean forward in the bath tub or brush it for hours. You could even shave it, I don’t care.”

“Do you really want to enjoy the Seattle rain on your bald scalp? I doubt it. Did you know that dripping ice cold water on the shaved head of prisoners was a popular way of torment in the Middle Ages? And I don’t think Mr. Taylor would like it either.” I refer to her old neighbor with a sly smile.

“Come on, Effie. Peter and I are both basically fossils.” she waves with an embarrassed, short laughter. We’ve been teasing her with him for years but she always reacts with denial, she belongs to the generation of which members think attraction over a certain age is something inappropriate. Or can’t even exist. And if it still does, it’s better to pretend it doesn’t.

“Single fossils!” I point out.

“I know it’s a very fashionable word nowadays but we are both widows, my dear. That’s completely different.” she insists playing with her wedding ring that embraces her ring finger still perfectly. I could stare at her hands for hours, her elegant fingers with strong, even, oval nails, whereas the backs of her hands and her palms are soft and always warm, Mom is convinced that’s the reason why she can prepare the most delicious homemade pastries in the world. The thin, fine, spiderweb-like wrinkles on them are telling the story of a complicated life, every single day adds a newer chapter to it…

“That doesn’t mean you have to live like a recluse, I don’t know why you’re fighting even against the idea.”

“We’ve just put dear Clara in the grave and…”

“Granny, Mrs. Taylor died like… eight years ago???” I whine clipping together a few strands of her.

“To me, it feels like it had happened yesterday.”

“Because with aging, the perception of time is changing completely. It’s scientifically proven. Mr. Taylor is handsome and kind and however much you try to ignore it, he likes you.”

“Sweetie, the head of girls in your age is full of romantic imaginations but…”

“Don’t even try to project it back on me! He trims the hedge in your front yard and peeps from behind the curtain all the time, just to show up by chance whenever you step out of the house! He basically tears the shopping bags out of your hands every time you arrive home from the grocery store!” I confront her with the facts and begin to trim her hair in the meantime.

“Because he’s a gentleman! Our generation was taught how to be polite!” she explains intensely making me grab her head with both hands and turn it back in the right direction.

“Are you trying to say my generation is rude? Anyway, Mr. Taylor is a retired TV mechanic! He could repair that piece of shit old box you’re not willing to replace whenever it gets fucked up.” I play my ultimate argument knowing she has a soft spot for her favorite series. She was mourning after the last episode of Dallas for weeks.

“Effie, you know I don’t like dirty words! Please!”

“Sorry. He could repair that useless device you’re not willing to replace every time it gets fucked up.” I giggle.

“Effie!”

“Granny, just think into it: you shouldn’t make us record the missed episodes and come over if you want to watch them… you don’t like video cassettes anyway and you said you could never learn how to work a video player…” I purr into her ears trying to sound hypnotical.

“It’s rather you who should have a suitor! You’re such a pretty, young, smart girl, I can’t believe you don’t have a boyfriend.”

Oh no. She turned the tables on me. Clever.

“First of all, being single is not a shame, I won’t expire if I don’t get married before I turn 25. I’m just… not interested in anyone right now.”

And by the way, if you’re not studying, not working, and your so-called friends have forgotten about your existence for the reasons above and gave up inviting you at parties and social events, you don’t even have any possible love interest around. Not that I blame them, my high school classmates are scattered everywhere in the country and after I suspended my studies, I kind of slowly drifted away from the college buddies. We hung out a few times after it but I lost track of everything, I understood fewer and fewer inside jokes, I’m not allowed to drink alcohol, which was obviously no fun to them… damn, I can’t even get rid of my waste products without outside help. So at this point, it’s not that easy to meet guys at all. Let alone normal guys who aren’t slackers, heroin addicts and don’t have commitment issues. I mean, bad guys seem to be exciting until you have one. And I’ve had a few one, I always buy their stupid shit and I’m sick of them. Victor is my only friend who still cares and lets me know about must-see shows at RCKNDY but he’s a friend, we’ve never thought about each other with any hint of romantic feelings at that’s okay. To be honest, I don’t even want to be in a relationship only for the sake of it but I miss that little tingle in the chest and the stomach, at least a teeny-tiny, innocent crush wouldn’t hurt…

“I’m sure you have admirers, just no one meets your expectations, maybe you set the bar too high… Ouch!” she lets out a short scream since I manage to pull her hair involuntarily. The “picky girl” card again… this time, I’m not willing to begin a debate with her about that, I’ve done that several times and she just waved me off every single time.

“I think we should rather discuss Judy’s love life, it’s her who‘s surrounded by handsome boys right now.” I change the subject of the conversation, I know I’m mean and if Judy was here, she’d certainly kill me… but she’s not and the end justifies the means.

“I still can’t imagine her in the company of those men.”

Those men. Granny refuses to call the band members anything else. Okay, on sunny days, she refers to them as “those young men”… but Seattle isn’t famous for the frequency of sunny days, as we know.

“They are nice guys, she likes them. And as far as I know, they like her too…” I rather resist the urge to mention Stone’s aversion to her. “Moreover, I heard through the grapevine that one of them liked her more than the others…”

“A suitor? Sweetie, please bring my bag here, now that you’re mentioning that, I want to ask you something.”

I obey, and walk to the armchair to grab it. Like it was so easy.

“Jesus, Granny, are you keeping bricks in your handbag??? It’s a lethal weapon, if you beat someone in the head with it, you can be put in jail…” I shake my head as I put it on her lap.

“Come on, it’s not that heavy. There are a few things in it a woman can need anytime… “ she starts rummaging in the bag and as I peak into it, I can spot a Swiss Army penknife and a small bottle of tear gas spray. I rather don't ask anything. “I know you’ve shown me pictures of those men, magazine articles, posters but you know I forget everything… So I bought something up-to-date so that you can tell me what I have to know about them, especially if it concerns my granddaughter…” she pulls something colorful out of the mess.

“Steel Hammer magazine? Haha, I can’t believe it! You just went to a kiosk and asked for the latest issue of a metal magazine???” I laugh walking back behind her to pick up the threads again.

“Well… I couldn’t remember the band’s name, I just told to the salesman that my grandchild was working with one of the famous rock bands from our town and I wanted to learn more about them. He just laughed and told me this issue was full of Seattle rock bands and I could certainly find in it what I was looking for.” she flips through the pages. “So tell me again the names of those men, please.” she lifts the magazine and I giggle as I look over her head at it.

“Oh, that’s Alice in Chains, they are also popular but… I don’t think you would approve if Judy worked for them.”

“Why? They do drugs, right? I don’t even want to hear more about that.” Thank God. I don’t think I could tell her much about them without causing her a heart attack. “But they must be them!” she puts a picture in front my nose again.

“You’re getting warmer… but… still not hot. That’s Soundgarden, they are good friends with the guys, they’re even meeting them in a few weeks in Texas, I guess they’re playing a couple of shows together. But they are nice guys too, you don’t have to worry. No drugs, no sex. I mean no sex with strangers. Or other bands’ crew members.” I add before she’d make me run background checks and look into their police records.

“And these men?”

“Whoohoo, you’re hot! That’s them, Pearl Jam!”

“They have nice hair! Actually, all these musicians do. And their eyes are clear, I like that. They seem to be honest young men.” Young men. Maybe if I tell enough nice things about them, she’ll even call them “boys”, or even “guys”. ”Who is who?”

“Eddie, Jeff, Stone, Dave and Mike.” I list pointing at each name on its owner.

“And which of them is courting our Judy?” she inquires excitedly.

“I wouldn’t call it courting yet, all I know he’s already asked her out once but I’m still investigating the details, you know how secretive she can be. Anyway, it’s the bassist, Jeff. The second one from left.” I glance over her head again while I collect another strand with the comb and straighten it to see its length.

“He’s very athletic, he looks healthy, that’s good. A strong man. But those earrings and bracelets… does he always wear them?”

I can hear the frown in her voice.

“I guess so. But that doesn’t make him a bad person, body piercings are very fashionable nowadays. Anyway, he’s a Montanan guy, he’s also an artist, he paints I guess. And you see right, he’s a talented athlete, he plays basketball too and he’s an avid skateboarder. It’s not dangerous!” I add quickly since I’m not sure if skateboarding is old enough to be on Granny’s list of approved spare times activities

“His clothing style is weird, though. His chest is almost bare, he couldn’t be cold but then why was he wearing that hat?”

“Hehe, no one knows, he’s just into hats, that’s his trademark.” I shrug.

“I can’t believe Judy likes him. But that serious one with those sad eyes might be her type.”

“Who?” I wrinkle my forehead since I can’t really pair the description with any of them.

“Him. He dresses normally, that’s a nice shirt, no earrings or other weird jewelry. Does he have a tattoo?”

I glance back at the magazine only to see she’s pointing at Stone.

“Hahaha, oh my gosh, no, as far as I know he doesn’t, but if you ask me, he could even be as spotted as a panther, Judy can’t stand him.”

“But he seems to be a nice boy…”

BOY??? Stone?

“Okay, I admit, he looks good and the crew likes him and he’s super talented but he’s an asshole to Judy.”

“Effie!”

“He is! At first he ignored her and then he started acting like a douchebag and…”

“Effie, dear, you know how boys behave in school… they sometimes literally torture the girl they like… maybe he is just immature.”

“No, Granny, this is…”

Luckily, the stupid debate gets interrupted by the ringing of the phone and I jog to pick it up, maybe it’s Judy…

“Hello, Camdens…”

“Hey, Krisha’s here.”

“Oh… hi…”

“So you haven’t been abducted by aliens. You basically ran away from the office last time without any explanation and I’ve been waiting for your call since then… are you okay?”

“I am… I just… didn’t want to seem too desperate or impatient… I mean, managers are busy people, I thought it’d take some time until Kelly gets to watch my pictures…”

To be honest, I was convinced they’d ditch me with some polite lie like “Nice photos but we are looking for something else” or “We are going to call you later”… so I was just procrastinating facing the truth.

“I tied him to his chair and didn’t set him free, I have my methods… which means, I’ve got news for you.” she announces secretively.

“Effie, sweetie… my hair is still wet, would you give me a towel?”

“Just a second, Granny! Look, I’m busy now but could we meet later somewhere in the city?”

“You mean today?”

“Yes… ah, shit, I have an appointment at the hairdresser’s, but maybe after it…”

“I’m flexible, just tell me the place and the date…”

“Okay, it’s…”

***

When I pull down at the address she gave me on the phone, she’s already waiting for me in front of the building. As I lean over the passenger seat to open the door for her, my eyes are involuntarily drawn to the window decorated with kitschy hearts behind her.

“Love Is In The Hair? Seriously???” I frown. “I’d never let my hair be touched by anyone who’s able to make up such a terrible pun.”

“Oh, don’t be influenced by that, the owner is a hopeless, sentimental old woman but the girls working there are real pros!” she shakes her head as she gets in and buckles herself up. “Meg’s got golden hands, she’s the only one who can keep this haystack under control.” she points at her good smelling, fluffy, blonde strands. “I mean, several people have attempted but she’s the only one who’s succeeded without turning me into Dolly Parton.”

“Well, that’s definitely wouldn’t be a fortunate outcome.” I crack up. “But you got a nice perm, truly.”

“Oh, that’s my hair in its natural state. I had only a haircut, that’s all.”

“I can’t believe that! Aw, I’m so envious, I mean look at this mouse tail…” I flick my thin ponytail with one hand, keeping the other one on the steering wheel. “Unfortunately, my hair can’t recover from what I did to it in the ‘80s…”

“Ouch, well, those were tough times... I’m sure Meg could recommend something… you should give her a try!”

“Maybe… I don’t know, somehow I have a strong aversion to beauty salons, that chicken yard vibe freaks me out.”

“Me too! But this place is not like that at all, that’s the other reason why I became their regular client. Meg studied psychology, she always feels without asking if I want to talk or just listen to her or I just want both of us to… you know, just shut up. She usually has good advice for every situation but not in a pushy way… she rather makes you realize what’s the right thing to do… or just points out if you’re about to make a terrible mistake without explicitly saying it.” she chuckles. “I don’t know, it’s like a sixth sense thing, she’s gifted.”

“So she’s a beauty wizard and a guru in one person.” I summarize.

“Haha, exactly. She’s simply a cool chick but for some reason, she has such a bad luck with guys, I don’t know the exact details, only that a problematic guitarist broke her heart.”

“Ha, that invasive species has kinda conquered this town…” I mutter knowingly.

“Speaking of that, do you know anything about Judy and Jeff? I ran away last time since I felt a disaster coming… she wasn’t even aware she’d been asked out… and since then, we’ve barely talked and she ignored the question when I came up with that…”

“Ugh, to be honest, I don’t know, I talked to Eric about work stuff, we’re busily preparing that free open-air show in May…” I stop since I’m not sure if I should go on. “Of course I talked to Stone as well…” I finally decide to do so but I pretend to be distracted by the traffic in the junction to have an excuse for not finishing the sentence.

“I bet he trashed my sister again, didn’t he?” she unfortunately jumps on the topic without hesitation.

“No… not really… I mean, he’s disapproving about anything romantic between them for sure but not because of Judy as a person… he just doesn’t think it’s a healthy thing right now. But he was obscure, I didn’t even understand what he was trying to say, he was babbling something about deflowering and cabal… he’s showing off his vocabulary all the time, even if it makes no sense. Especially when he’s high, maybe that was the case.”

“Deflowering? You mean my sister?” she scoffs and I can’t do anything but shrug since Stoney was truly vague, almost secretive. “The dude’s got obviously a screw loose.” she underlines the statement by circling with her index finger at the temple. “Anyway, why are you turning in that direction, aren’t we going to the management office?”

“I never claimed we’re going there.” I watch the road with a mysterious smile. “Actually, I realized after having called you that I had an errand to run so I thought you could accompany me…”

“By accompanying you mean kidnapping me and holding me hostage in your car?”

“Maybe. Open the glove compartment, I put there something for you.”

“Now you’re scaring me, is it a gun? Whoa.” she startles since after she obeys me, tons of tapes fall onto her lap.

“Ah, I get it. You’re holding me hostage and make me listen to shitty music, what are these? Tapes of Wham! tribute bands or what?” she asks checking the cases.

“Okay, you just gave me a great idea. The tapes weren’t intended for you, they are demos of bands monkeying PJ, we receive a buttload of them every week. Needless to say they all suck, could you do me a favor by listening to them for me? Kelly insists on me checking all of them, I don’t know why, though, we usually send them a polite refusal… but he thinks they deserve a chance. 99 % percent of them are indistinct yelling to worn-out riffs. What about my constitutional rights?”

“Haha, are you serious? I mean, I don’t really have any proper excuse, I have plenty of time and unfortunately, fucked-up kidneys don’t clog ears but…”

“Just kidding, I meant the folded sheets, maybe they are buried deep, just dig for them.”

“Okay, got it” she groans basically putting her head in the glovebox. “What’s that? Mr. Hugh Mility… Mr. Juan Badapple… Jim Rockford... Dr. Hugh Jeego… Guy Jantic… what the hell is this?”

“Well, since the guys are getting huge, fans are lurking at the hotels, they make up impossible lies to get their room numbers, a few of them even tried to bribe the receptionists… so it became obvious they should use codenames…”

“And who is who?”

“You missed the point, should I maybe explain the concept of codenames? What if you start stalking or harassing them?” I tease her and maybe I’m hallucinating but I’d swear I see an amused smile forming in the corner of her mouth. “Anyway, joke aside, they are pretty obvious, just think a little.”

“Wait, the list goes on… these must be the crew members… Elle Koholic, okay, this must be Carrie. Oh my god, I found my sister’s one.” she slaps herself in the forehead.

“Yeah, no offense but she’s got a one-track mind… anyway, we’ve arrived.” I announce steering the car right to the empty site next to the building.

“Are you willing to finally reveal where we are?” she asks stuffing the tapes back into their place.

“Curiosity killed the cat. Okay, I hope not, Stone would kill me.” I laugh at my own joke, fishing out the shopping bag from the backseat. “Come.”

“I don’t understand a word.” she pouts indignantly while we’re entering the building and climbing the stairs in the semi-darkness.

“I enlighten you very soon, I promise, just follow me.” I turn back to her and we fell silent until we reach our destination. “Here.” I point theatrically at the door.

“What’s this? Are you gonna buy drugs here? Or is this sort of a den of gamblers? Or…”

“Jesus, I thought you’re the adventurous one…” I roll my eyes. “Anyway, you mentioned the species of problematic guitarists… where we’re standing is the cave of a specimen from one of the subspecies.”

“…which iiiis…”

“One of the most complex inhabitant of Earth’s fauna: the rhythm guitarist!” I raise my index finger. “It’s very widespread at bars and concert venues, the male ones are inseparable from their favorite delicacy that is beer. The male living here is famous for his trademark, sarcastic remarks that are not without jokes about nether regions. During his mating season – that includes every single day of the year –, he tries to catch the attention of female specimens with the excessive flipping of his magnificent mane and his repetitive, distinctive laughter. He often leaves the location of mating right after the act, his volatile nature…”

“Wait, are you trying to say…” she cuts me off, getting tired of my improvised presentation.

“Yess.”

“No shit!”

“Yes shit. We’re at Stone’s apartment. Okay, it actually belongs to his sister but she moved in with her boyfriend last year. And Stoney got a gentle reminder from his parents that he should finally leave the family nest.”

“Hey, then maybe me and Judy are super uncool since we live with our mom too…” she frowns offended.

“It’s all about the context, first of all: he turned down Chris Cornell when he asked him to be his roommate. I repeat, Chris Cornell.” I explain, as I begin to fumble with the keys.

“What a fool!”

“I mean, I kind of understand him to a point, his parents are the dearest people I know but turning down such an offer when you’re over 20? Time went by and I think his parents just got fed of him tearing the strings at their attic all the time and coming home in the middle of the night every single day. Even if they have always been totally supportive of him, they didn’t freak out even when he announced he didn’t want to go to college… he started working as an espresso guy in a small bakery at Pioneer Square, he was the worst, by the way, I mean I almost puked of the coffee he made… He quitted that job when Mother Love Bone got signed to PolyGram and… you know what happened later. So he kind of stuck at home, indebted.”

We enter the apartment in the meantime and I take a few steps in the living room to turn on the standard lamp.

“But then, not much before the tour started, his sister let him her place over, he’s a low-key guy so…” I shrug. “Now that they became basically rock stars, he’s planning to buy a small house… his dad is an attorney-at-law with acquaintances at real estate firms, that helps a lot.”

“We had to sold our house when… a few years ago.” she sighs. I don’t ask, I guess it has to do something with her father, Karrie mentioned he’d died a few years ago. “This is a pretty nice place, I thought it was messier. No piles of beer cans, no smell of rotten food…” she remarks walking around the living room.

“Despite your impressions, he’s not a caveman, he always jokes referring to himself as an emancipated guy meaning he can and is willing to do all kind of housework. He can be pretty oblivious, though, which sometimes affects the result…” I giggle and open the windows to let in some fresh air. “His brain works in a weird way, he loses everything, all the time and forgets where he put his personal belongings and therefore never finds them again… whereas he’s pretty good at remembering riffs and melodies.”

“So this place is like a black hole. Anyway, why are we here? Wait, are we going to pull pranks on him? Let’s stick pins in the armchairs, smear tooth paste on the door handles and hide dog poop under the doormat…” she suggests with stars in her eyes. Okay, I have to do something against this hatred campaign before these wicked women cast a lethal spell on him.

“As I mentioned, I have a mission. First of all, I have to keep those poor things alive…” I point in the corner.

“Wow, a private jungle!” she exclaims surprised. “Philodendron, ficus and mother-in-law’s tongue! If someone had told me Stone liked indoor plants, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

“Actually, he sometimes forgets about their existence too. But they are real survivors, they even made it despite his girlfriend’s interesting watering methods… by the way, he even gave them names: Phil Collins, Biggus Diccus and Robert Plant, I guess I don’t have to explain…” I go on with the guided tour while I go in the kitchen to fill the coffee jug with water.

“At least the guy has a good taste in music.” she shouts. She must have found his record collection and the stereo system, I guess if something, this can soften Effie up.

“Yes, he’s surprisingly omnivorous as for musical genres…” I call back although my voice sounds muffled, since I had to basically crawl into the cupboard at the bottom for the bag of the pet food. “He’s pretty much influenced by everything he hears on the radio. Ouch!!!” I manage to bang my head when I straighten up too early.

“Are you okay?”

“I am… just a household accident…”

I walk back to the bedroom with the small bowl full of dry food only to find her staring amazed at the large star chart on the wall.

“Wow. My sister would love this.” she keeps examining it with dropped jaw, only her lips are moving.

“Well, I’ve always known they have much more in common than they think.” I grin.

“Judy had a pretty long phase when she wanted to be an astronomer… I mean, basically her in her whole childhood. She later found out physics and science weren’t really her thing but she’s still obsessed with space exploration and science fictions…”

“As you can see, Stone isn’t that beer-drinking, douchebag barfly type…” I spread my arms to point out that the walls are almost covered with bookshelves.

“Yeah, as far as I can see, he’s pretty much an intellectual asshole.” she narrows her eyes.

“AND NOW… let’s jump to the second part of my mission.” I kneel down and lift the bedspread. “Your Majesty, your subjects are only waiting for you to begin the audience.” After a few seconds of silence, two reddish paws reach out from under the bed, soon followed by a pink nose. Their owner makes sure there’s nothing dangerous in the room in full alert mode, before she crawls out slowly and rubs her snout against my hand reached out.

“Oh my god! A cat! Was she here during the whole time?” Effie screams surprised, sits down cross legged and invites her to herself making smacking sounds. “Hey sweetie… you’re very shy, aren’t you? Come here…come…”

“Effie, let me introduce you Red. Red, this is Effie. Be cautious… she can behave quite wild, especially with women…”

Despite my fears, she slowly moves towards Effie and sniffs her fingertips. After a few seconds of tense hesitation, she lets herself be caressed with that typical vigilance of cats like she was sending the message “I’m here but if you make a wrong move, you die”.

“What a beautiful fur… and those green eyes…” the girl runs her finger along the red-white spotted back. “She seems to like me…” the girl chuckles.

“One more proof that Stone’s theory was right.”

“What kind of theory?”

“Well… he adopted her not much after the forming of the band… she was just a tiny, fluffy kitten but from the very first moment, she’s acted very weird with the girls around Stone. And I don’t mean girls in general, I’m talking about his female visitors, if you know what I mean… she’s been very hostile to girls he’s dated, she’s basically driven away all the chicks he’s got hooked up with… She’s literally jealous of his love interests.”

“Interesting, I’d rather think Stone is a dog person…”

“He is, his family has always had dogs… but with Red… it was love at first sight. I’ve never seen him being as affectionate to actual girls as to Red. Even his voice softens when he’s talking to or about her… so long story short, Stone was joking that they must have been lovers in a previous life and she had been some red-haired girl who’d stolen his heart.”

“And does she like girls who hate him because they mean no competition for her?” Effie wonders as she follows the cat with her eyes who’s now approaching her bowl and gets lost in the deliciously looking pieces of meat. “It’d be an interesting experiment to introduce her to Judy.”

“Definitely, she’s never met a real female enemy of him. Maybe because girls usually like him…” I shrug.

“And is this poor thing the whole day alone?”

“Ugh, it’s a complicated story. When the guys started touring, the Gossards adopted her. Again. But they have to get rid of her, because they all are allergic to cat fur, it wasn’t that disturbing when Stone was at home too and she basically lived in the attic with him and he was the only one really taking care of her… but when he was away and they had do it for him, they quickly had to look for someone else… and then, she got to Regan, our common old friend. They got on very well with each other but then Regan and his girlfriend adopted a dog and to say they weren’t compatible is an understatement. And then…” I took a big breath “…then came the Amber phase. I don’t know if I’ve already mentioned her, she’s his girlfriend.”

“Ouch.” she hisses. “That must have been tough.”

“It was. Due to the beforementioned circumstances, their relationship was everything but smooth… she never adopted her, she just came over to feed her and all but Red was trying very hard to make her life a living hell. She attacked her, scratched her arms, hooked her nails in her tights and ruined her nicest clothes…” I list and I can’t help smiling as I recall their clashes.

“I can’t believe this cutie pie did things like that. It sounds terrible but… hey, are you laughing???”

“It was a dis… a disaster…” I’m already choking of laughter since in the meantime, Red’s innocent face makes me remember the funniest part of the story. “Once she even… oh no, I can’t…” I try to calm down and put on straight face. “Once this little bitch…” Red turns her head towards me like she felt addressed “yes, I’m talking about you… so this little bastard peed in Amber’s heels.”

“Oh no! Cat pee is the worst, it’s a one-way ticket to the dumpster. I mean only if you don’t set everything that got in contact with it on fire.”

“Well, that happened to the heels in question too. But frankly, I don’t blame Red, I myself have played with the idea of doing the same a few times too.” I shrug and have Effie in stitches.

“So you hate her too…”

“I don’t, she’s not a bad person… but she can be so annoying, man… when you have to admire the umpteenth fashion photo of her posing in different clothes, it’s very difficult to seem to be interested.”

“Uhm… speaking of photos… you said you got news for me… I didn’t want to be too greedy, I mean I really like hanging out with you and I’m not doing it only because I want your help and…” she jabbers blushing.

“Hey, easy. The news are that Kelly loved your photos. And Susan Silver too. And they have a great idea…”

#pearljam #pearl jam fanfiction #PearlJamfanfiction #PearlJamfanfic #eddie vedder #stone gossard #jeff ament #mike mccready #dave abbruzzese

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crystalwillow · 3 years

Text

Nightmares

Pairing: Noah Harris x Anna-Rose Price (MC)

⚠️ Warning/disclaimer: Violence, death & large amounts of blood ⚠️

Word Count: 4.1K

====================================================

It had been a couple of days since Principal Jennings had invoked fear into Anna-Rose Price and those she loved the most. 2 days without her childhood friends Mason, 2 days having minimal contact with Ava, 2 days away from her sister. Luckily, their father was protecting them both the best he could. But it had also been 2 days by Noah’s side. He was terrified to go back to jail. The first time he had been shot by Principal Jennings and not even stolen anything, this time it was pretty much the same minus the shooting. Noah was terrified because he knew the power the principal held. He could bribe anyone with anything. So Noah pretty much knew this was it, he had come back to Eastridge, found who he believed to be his one true love, and now he was going back to jail for ‘stealing’ when really the only result of their plan was breaking and entering as he and Mason hadn’t stolen anything from the office. And if he was being honest with himself if he was going to jail, Mason should too. They were accomplices in this instance, plus if Principal Jennings was going to have Mason on house arrest, they may as well go to jail together. After all, if you do the crime together, you do the time together. Right?

Noah was currently sat in the backyard staring at the grass as Anna-Rose stepped outside, closing the door gently behind her and taking a seat next to him.

“Hey.” She whispered, gently taking his hand in her own.

Noah sighed and took his hand from Anna’s and wrapped it around her shoulders, kissing her head. He was scared and worried, and Anna could sense it as she wrapped her arms tightly around his torso, squeezing tightly.

“We’ll prove you’re innocent for stealing and the only thing you and Mason are guilty of is breaking and entering the office.” she mumbled into his chest. He squeezed her tightly in response as a tear ran down his cheek and got absorbed into her hair. Moments passed in silence before Noah could form words.

“I’m scared, Anna-Rose” he whispered.

She sat up and looked him in the eyes, only to see the pain, hurt and torment that was swirling around in them. He had the most gorgeous blue eyes she had ever seen. They were almost as clear as crystal skies but now they were the shade of a stormy ocean in the eye of a storm. Carefully, Anna-Rose reached out her hand and cupped Noah’s cheek, tears pooling in her eyes as he leant into her touch, closing his eyes and letting his tears fall into her hand. This was the Noah she wish everyone else could see. Not the hardened and heartless criminal everyone thought he was from rumors, but the kind, caring, loving, and amazing big brother and son he is. He does so much for his family, he is such a good person, but nobody sees that but Anna-Rose. Partly because he didn’t want anyone but her to see that side of him, because again, he was scared. But mainly because when everyone’s expectations and views of you are so set in stone because of rumors they heard, why bother worrying yourself with the stress of trying to bring them round to seeing who you really are. That’s why he’s so thankful for Anna-Rose. She shoved the rumors aside and relentlessly got to know the real Noah Harris.

Suddenly the back door opened, and Noah’s mom stepped outside holding the phone.

“Someone called Jeff is on the phone for you two.” She informed them, holding the phone towards Noah.

Anna and Noah frowned at each other lightly before Noah took the phone. “Thanks ma.” he said, and she smiled sadly with a small nod then headed back inside.

“Jeff. I don’t know a jeff so what’s your actual name?”

But no response came, and Noah frowned at Anna-Rose who was looking at him curiously. Suddenly she gasped and snatched the phone from Noah.

“Jeff, this is Agent Penelope reporting for duty. What’s the mission? ... Uh-huh... okay. But what about the security system? ... what time? .... No, I’m leaving him behind. I am not putting him in the crossfire. This is a solo mission. I’ll secure the getaway and send the signal. Of course. Yes sir. Agent Penelope out.” she spoke almost robotically but had a childlike glow about her, then she hung up with a smile as Noah looked at her curiously with an amused smirk and quirked brow.

“What?” Anna-Rose asked him.

He chuckled. “You’re a secret agent and got us busted? Man... I’d hate for Jeff to hear about that.”

Anna-Rose laughed. “Jeff is Mason. We used to play secret agents in the front yard and woods when we were younger. He was always the person in charge because I always wanted to take part in the espionage.”

“So you’re the natural born troublemaker in our group.”

“Oh no. That’s Mack. Have you seen the change she convinced me to make?” Anna-Rose retorted as she flicked her hair over her shoulder and Noah laughed.

“I don’t think she had to convinced you somehow. I think you made the decision alone.”

“...yeah. You have a point there.”

They continued to laugh until the severity of the situation settled back into their reality.

“So... what did ‘Jeff’ need?” Noah asked.

“I’m busting him out of his house and heading to the safehouse with him tonight. I promised to secure the perimeter and give him the thumbs up when everything’s good to go.”

Noah chuckled again. “Really adventurous there, Anna-Rose.”

“Thank you.” she grinned before getting up. “You’re coming to help me.”

“What?” Noah gasped.

Anna-Rose held out her hand. “Didn’t think I’d leave you. Did you?”

Noah smirked as he grabbed her hand, hauling himself up. “Maybe for a moment. But I should know better than that.”

“Yes. You should.” She scolded playfully, turning around and heading inside with a slight sashay, leaving Noah smiling after her as he chuckled in some sort of disbelief he’d found someone so genuine who was also a lowkey badass, like himself.

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” Noah mutter under his breath as he followed her inside, as if pulled by some unseen magnetic force. He had never felt such intense feelings before. Even as a kid, he didn’t have crushes of the girls in his class, they were all just friends to him. So what was so different about Anna-Rose?

“I’m serious,” Anna-Rose continued as Noah shut his bedroom door and sat beside her on his bed. “You’ve been such a low-key and mysterious character. In my eyes.” Her voice softened. “So I don’t really know who you are.” She paused. “You’re so protective, in the sense that you will literally do anything to protect your friends. But yet, you’re actually pretty nice when you don’t have to be.” Anna-Rose tilted her head. “You’re like the best of both worlds. And I think I see a little bit of you in me.” Anna-Rose smiled, making the moment feel lighter than a feather. Noah felt intoxicated by her smile and found himself leaning towards her, next thing he knew Anna-Rose was laying on his bed as he hover over her, covering her in sweet pecks of admiration as she giggled from the slight tickle of his light stubble.

“Noah, you’re stubble tickles.” She giggled and writhed beneath him as he started tickling her with it purposefully. Soon the room was full of laughter and happiness and the weight of their current situation was lift once again. Anna-Rose hugged her side as they started to ache from so much laughter as Noah switched from using his stubble to tickle her to his hands.

They were so caught up in the moment, neither of them heard the door open which made them jump when Hazel spoke up.

“Aw! You’re having a tickle fight and didn’t invite me?” she pouted, and Noah stopped briefly to look at her as he sat on top of Anna-Rose to stop her from escaping.

“Hazel, help me! The big mean troll caught me and said I’m his dinner!” Anna-Rose quivered.

“Don’t worry Anna-Rose! I’ll save you from the troll!” Hazel declared with a sort od battle cry as she dumped her bags by Noah’s door and ran forward, tackling Noah to the mattress beside Anna-Rose.

“No! I haven’t eaten in weeks and now my meal is getting away because of you. You- Never mind. I’ll just cook you instead!” Noah roared, ceasing Hazel by the arms and putting her over his shoulder. “Ha ha! I’m not going hungry tonight!”

“Anna-Rose!” Hazel called out.

“Hey!” Anna-Rose threw a pillow at Noah. “Pick on someone your own size! Ugly!” she shouted.

Noah turned around with Hazel still over his shoulder, and glared at Anna-Rose who gulped loudly before shrieking then slipping past and running out into the garden. Noah followed her outside with Hazel punching his back. “Let me go you smelly troll!” the young girl protested with a frown.

Noah chuckled as he placed her on the porch and pretended to tie her to a pole with rope.

“I can’t do that I’m afraid.” He grinned evilly as he patted her head, before turning his attention to the garden behind him. Luckily for him, he spotted Anna-Rose hiding behind a bush in a matter of seconds, thanks to her now blue hair and stealthily approached from behind. Anna-Rose watched as Noah left Hazel unattended and snuck out from her hiding spot, unaware Noah was basically almost on top of her.

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” he shouted as he quickly wrapped his arms around Anna-Rose whi shrieked and thrashed against his restraint.

“No! Let me go!” she wailed as Noah mimicked tying her to a pole next to Hazel.

Hazel turned her head and looked at Anna-Rose with a fearful look in her eyes. Anna-Rose returned the sentiment and gulped just as the door opened.

“I’m trying to sleep. What is all this racket?” Noah and Hazel’s mom asked with a frown.

“Sorry ma. We were playing trolls, we can play more quietly.” Hazel apologized.

“Yeah. Sorry ma.” Noah added with a frown.

“Sorry ma’am.” Anna-Rose said.

Noah and Hazel’s mom gave them all a grateful smile before heading back inside and the three went back to their game. Noah crouched in front of the girls, a sly grin on his face.

“Now. Lucky old me. I’ve got two meals. My only problem is... which do I eat first?” he whispered menacingly.

“Not me! Eat her. She’ll keep you fuller for longer!” Hazel whisper protested with urgency.

“Hazel!” Anna-Rose whisper yelled is disbelief.

“And give you chance to escape? I’m not taking that risk.” Noah grinned as he ‘untied’ Hazel and carried her to the ‘cooking pot’.

“No! Anna-Rose you’ve gotta help me! please!” Hazel said quickly.

Working quickly, Anna-Rose freed herself from the invisible rope and snuck off to ambush the troll and save her friend. Quietly and with stealth, Anna-Rose managed to position herself perfectly behind Noah and gave Hazel a subtle nod before launching herself with a fierce roar.

“HHHHHHHRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!”

“Wha-!” Noah exclaimed with surprise as he splayed out on the lawn beneath Anna-Rose.

“Quickly Hazel! Make your escape to safety!” urged Anna-Rose and Hazel wasted no time in running up the back porch steps and inside, closing the door behind her, Leaving Anna-Rose and Noah wrestling in the lightly snow covered ground in fits of laughter. Eventually the laughter died down and they laid side by side staring up at the almost dark sky.

“I love spending time with you and Hazel. It’s so much fun.”

“She is a bundle of joy.”

A comfortable silence stretched for a few moment before Noah spoke up again.

“I guess it’s time for you to be Agent Penelope now.”

“Yeah. I should get moving if I’m to make it in time. ... But, you’re coming with remember?”

Noah nodded with a small smile.

--- 45 minutes later ---

Noah looked around as he followed Anna-Rose deeper into the woods. “Are you sure we should be out here Anna-Rose?”

“Pssshhh... Don’t tell me you’re afraid of the potential ghosts out here?”

“No. why would I be scared of a few ghosts?”

“Don’t worry. They’re friendly. I promise.” she winked and laughed as Noah gulped and went pale.

Finally they reach the cabin and entered. Inside Anna-Rose started a fire and Noah sat cautiously on a chair. A few moment later after Anna-Rose had done a sweep of the area and the cabin a warmed a little, she used the old phone in the cabin and called the Jennings house, hoping Noah would pick up.

“This is Jeff.”

“Jeff, this is Agent Penelope. Zebras and Lemons. I repeat, Zebras and Lemons. Location, Coffee 13.”

“Copy that Agent. Jeff out.”

Anna-Rose smiled as the line went dead.

“So you speak in code now?” Noah quipped.

“Hey. It’s not my fault you hung around by yourself as a kid. Maybe if you broadened your horizons you’d have found us cool kids sooner.” She teased, sticking her tongue out at him. Which earned hearty chuckle.

“Zebras and lemons. what does that mean?”

“Area secured and ready. And before you ask, Coffee 13 means meet me at the coffee shop we made the pact to keep this place a secret when we were 13.”

“... I see.” Noah nodded with a confused look on his face.

“Anyway. I should get moving. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

“I’ll be sure not to have too much fun.”

Anna-Rose chuckled. “You’re really just an adorable dork under that gruff exterior huh?”

“I’d move it before I move myself.” Noah warned.

“Hint taken. Agent Penelope out!” she saluted and ran out of the door and towards the coffee shop.

She sat inside upon arrival and ordered a normal coffee with almond milk to drink as she waited. 35 minutes later the bell above the door tinkled and footsteps stopped in front of her.

“Agent Penelope.”

She looked up with a smile. “Jeff!” she jumped up and gave him a hug. “Come on. Let’s move.”

After she paid for her coffee, Anna-Rose and Mason made their way to the cabin in the woods and burst trough the door panting heavily, startling Noah out of his peaceful trance.

“Jesus!” Noah exclaimed.

“Not who I see myself to be but...” Mason teased, and Noah scoffed as a smile spread onto his face.

“I’m glad to see you’re okay.” Noah said and Mason wrapped him in a hug. “Oh!” Noah further exclaimed, then clapped Mason on the back.

“Okay. Now that we’re all here. It’s time to hunker down for the night.” Anna-Rose announced. “I suggest we all cuddle in front of the fire for optimal yet even heat resourcefulness.”

The 2 boys looked at Anna-Rose and chuckled. “What?” she asked.

“You may not have the best vocabulary rage at all times...” Noah started.

“...But never change from being our Anna-Rose.” Mason finished.

Then the three hunkered down for the night in front of the fire, using their jackets for blankets and huddling as close and possible to maintain warmth.

=================================

Later that night, Anna-Rose and Mason were startled awake by a blood curdling scream and looked around the room in alarm to se Noah sat up, panting heavily in a cold sweat.

“Noah?” Anna-Rose croaked as Mason fished around for his phone to shine some light in the room.

Noah snapped his head in the direction of her voice. “A-Anna-Ro-Rose?” he stuttered.

“I’m here. What happened?” she asked, pulling his head to her chest as Mason put his phone face down on the table shining a dim light into the room. As she rubbed soothing circles on Noah’s back, she felt how badly he was trembling. “Noah. You’re shaking. Are you cold?” she asked but he just shook his head.

“What’s wrong?” Mason asked.

“We need to leave. We... We need to get back to my place. Ma and Hazel... they’re in danger.” He urged as he scrambled to his feet.

“Noah. It’s the literal middle of the night.” Mason commented, confusion on his face.

“All the more reason for use to hurry!” Noah exclaimed and ran out into the night leaving his shirt and jacket behind. Mason and Anna-Rose scrambled to gather what little belongings they had, and gave chase to him finally coming to a stop outside Noah’s house minutes later, and collapsing into a heap on the front yard.

“Keys.... Ke- pass my jacket.” Noah said with urgency.

“h-hhhhhh....” Anna-Rose panted as she held out his jacket.

Noah snatched it and pulled his keys from his pocket and rushed into the house, finding his ma and Hazel snuggled on the couch under a blanket sound asleep with a movie playing on the TV. Relief flooded into his chest and then he felt guilt as he thought of his two friends passed out, breathless in his front yard.

“You guys. I’m sorr- Okay. That’s... surprisingly cute.” He whispered with a smile as he spotted them fast asleep again. Noah carried them inside to his room one at a time and made sure Anna-Rose was comfy in his bed and he took a spot next to Mason on the floor. “Sleep well, Agent Penelope. ... Jeff.” He grinned to himself.

========================================

The next morning as sunlight crept into Noah room Anna-Rose and Mason started to stir silently as Noah re-entered the room with breakfast on a tray. The smell completely pulling them from their slumber. Anna-Rose looked around confused.

“Huh?” she mumbled as she took in her surroundings.

“nnngghhhh.” Mason groaned from the floor.

“Morning Jeff. Agent.” Noah grinned.

“You told him didn’t you?” Mason asked Anna-Rose.

“How else was I supposed to explain what we were doing last night?” she argued.

“Speaking of. Where are we?” Mason asked.

“My bedroom.” Noah answered. “I had a nightmare that ma and Hazel were in danger and being threatened and hurt by... by Jim and I was so scared in the moment. The thought of no longer having my ma and little sister.. Sorry. It’s just... they’re two of the brightest lights in my life. I can’t lose them.”

“Noah. It’s okay. We understand.” Mason smiled kindly.

“Yeah. I’d be the same if I had a nightmare about Mack.” Anna-Rose added.

“... Thanks.” Noah nodded and slid the tray into the middle of the floor. “I made you two breakfast as a proper way to say sorry for making you run so far in the middle of the night, half asleep.”

“Would you... mind telling us about the nightmare? ... Only if, it’s not too harrowing to relive though.” Mason questioned.

Noah thought it over for a few moments and then nodded. “Sure.”

Anna-Rose joined them on the floor and Noah took a deep breath.

“So it started out like any other normal day that ma has off and is able to have Hazel here, and I can got to work alone. I was working happily under a car when I heard my name being called out by the boss. A note for me had been delivered. I finished working on the car and then collected the not from the work bench, where I’d asked for it to be left.” Noah started, pausing to collect himself.

“What did the note say?” Mason asked and Anna-Rose slapped his arm. “Ow!”

“Tick Tock. You have fifteen minutes. Hand yourself in....... or start- start saying your goodbyes. I’d start with that lovely m-ma of yours. Oh, and maybe your sis-sister too.” Noah struggled, pain etched into his every feature.

Mason sat with his mouth agape and Anna-Rose took Noah’s hand in her own. He squeezed it gratefully as he took a deep breath. “But when I got home... in the dream... they- they were gone. And I- I couldn’t find them. Anywhere. Until I came to the last place I could think they would be. And all there was on the floor was two life-lifeless bod-“ Noah broke down, unable to continue and Anna-Rose done her best to console him. Mason left the room and caught a woman saying goodbye to a little girl in the kitchen.

“Ah! Stranger!” Hazel shouted.

“No. I’m no stranger. I’m Noah’s friend. Mason. I um.. I’m guessing you’re mom?” he guessed pointing to the woman.

“I am. Is everything alright?” she asked

“Noah. He... he needs you.” Mason said pointing back in the direction of Noah’s room.

“Oh!” the woman exclaimed and then sprinted into Noah’s room. He looked up and his reddened eyes met her worriedly gaze.

“MA!” he shouted and sprung up into her arms sobbing violently. “You’re okay. You’re really okay.. You...” he trailed off, sobbing into her shoulder as she stood their caressing his head and whispering to him. She looked up to Anna-Rose and furrowed her brows with a slight head tilt.

“Nightmares.” Anna-Rose mouthed, and his mom nodded understandingly before continuing to console her son. Anna-Rose collected the tray and mug and made her way to the kitchen where Hazel was interrogating a terrified looking Mason at the kitchen table.

“Anna-Rose! Help me please. This child is relentless.” Mason begged.

“Help you? Nah. Hazel’s a cutie. She doesn’t mean no harm. She’s just protective of Noah.” Anna-Rose grinned as she cleaned and dried the plates before putting them away.

Soon Hazel’s interrogation of Mason was over, and she sat at the table with Anna-Rose and Mason as he mom came back. “Okay. He gone back to sleep, but could you just keep an eye on him for me? It’s been a while since he’s been like this but-”

“NO! MA! HAZEL! HAZE-” Noah shouted from his room.

Ma sighed wearily. “Hazel knows my contact if you need me urgently. But when he gets like this. it’s really bad.” She explained.

“No worries ma’am. We’ll make sure he stay water and fed.” Anna-Rose reassured.

“And I’ll give him my favourite stuffy to cuddle!” Hazel added with a grin.

“Oh, he’ll love that sweety.” Ma smiled, brushing her daughters hair from her face and giving her a quick kiss before leaving for work.

The rest of the day passed slowly, they eventually deemed it safe to venture back to Anna-Rose’s house and left a note for Noah and Hazel’s ma so she wouldn’t panic when she came home to an empty house.

When they reached Anna-Rose’s, she was greeted by Mack and their dad with a massive hug. Mr. Price opened his eyes and looked onto the porch as he pulled away from the hug and took in the sight of a tired Mason, Red eyed Noah and a scared looking little girl and ushered them all inside. They spent the rest of the day snuggled together in the living room, quietly watching movies. They were so engrossed by them that they didn’t notice day turn to night and suddenly there was a knock on the door.

“I’ll come with you dad.” Anna-Rose whispered. And together they stopped at the door and took it in turns to look through the spyhole.

“It’s Noah and Hazel’s mom.” she told her dad, and he unlocked the door, opening it just as the woman turned away. “Ma’am.” she called out and the woman turned back around. “Come inside. Hazel’s asleep.”

The woman smiled and stepped inside, following Anna-Rose and her dad back into the living area. Anna-Rose took her seat back in between Mack and Noah as ma sat in the chair, smiling at the sleeping Hazel and Mason on the floor.

“Thank you for giving my children a warm shelter for the day Mr. Price.” Ma smiled kindly.

“It’s no problem. Noah’s a good kid really. I was too harsh on him at first, I should know better than to believe rumors and stereotypes.” Mr. Price admitted.

Anna-Rose and Noah discreetly smiled at each other and huddled closer together.

“Noah?” Anna-Rose whispered.

“mmm?” Noah quietly hummed back.

“I love you.” Anna-Rose confessed.

“I... I love you too, Anna-Rose.” Noah whispered back, smile spreading on his face as his arm snaked around her waist. It was in that moment that Noah knew, no matter how scared he was, how harsh Principal Jennings would try to have the law come down on him, he had the best support network around him. And he couldn’t wait for the right moment to take the special someone in his arms on a proper first date, without stresses of anything else weighing on his mind.

#pixelberry studios #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices fanfiction #noah harris #noah harris x mc #mtfl noah #mtfl mason #mtfl mackenzie #mtfl mc #pb mtfl #my two first loves #pb my two first loves #noah harris fanfiction

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mieczyhale · 4 years

Note

mace im sorry i don't have coherent thoughts but i'm so just like,,, what was klaus this season. what was ben. the cult was pointless to klaus' character. the things that matter to klaus' character were ignored. the dave stuff was a lot of nothing. i felt like the possession thing shouldve been huge for ben and klaus' relationship but we're supposed to think klaus feeling violated is funny and inconsequential? ben going to the light was just shoved in at the end? i just---what???? who??

i’m on the same page as you, anony, especially in coherency lmfao

klaus this season was.. not totally bad, but i think most of that can be put on robert for his acting and how well he knows his own character bc the writers clearly didn’t know what was up (or maybe they did and playing him off this season as comedic relief, having him tossed to the side and mistreated, is going to play into s3 somehow. idk. i’m not writing off any possibility because overall the writers have done really really well with everything else so in my soul i feel like there has to be a reason they did what they did to him this season yknow??) for all the jokes they had him making and stuff, i think robert definitely played klaus the way we as fans know him - suffering constantly but unwilling to let anyone actually see that and if they do he’s gonna make it sound like a joke. he’s not gonna act serious because that leads to pain and he’s had more than enough of that. HOWEVER. i am genuinely so so pissed that he didn’t get to fight or really use his powers this season. and the part before ben sacrifices himself where klaus finally got up the courage to try and help, the fact that he didn’t succeed - that it wasn’t klaus who saved the day - is just... sldflksd GOD I HATE IT. oh and the scene towards the end where everyone gets shot and the one remaining swede kills the handler?? THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN KLAUS. he should have come back to life as he does, as is PART OF HIS POWERS, grabbed a gun that he knows how to use well - thank you vietnam - and he should have shot the bitch. but no. we didn’t even get that. vanya got klaus’s levitation and diego got klaus’s telekinesis and klaus got ??? a cowboy hat. which i mean looks good on him and he deserves it but it doesnt make up for *gestures at everything* and tbh even that was tainted because one of the siblings says “50$ if we leave him here” when klaus runs to grab the hat. seriously??!! SERIOUSLY??! it’s not funny, it’s just more of people not caring about klaus and thinking abandoning him is a fun joke to make ANYWAY. onto things you actually mentioned sdlkdsjf;ls i think the cult wasn’t pointless to his character necessarily, i think it did provide something, but it wasn’t used to its fullest extent. we got little things like klaus talking about it making him claustrophobic and making him feel like his skin is on fire, and his followers become something he cant escape even though he desperately wants too - it’s like having the ghosts all over again except he’s sober and these are live people who can touch him. but the show never actually out loud makes that comparison when they should have. i think it would have helped the cult thing seem less random. as for the dave thing.. i don’t think it was a lot of ‘nothing’ but again i think they could have definitely done more with it. it lets klaus see dave again, in a way, and it shows us more about both of them and the relationship they had. we learn more about dave, who he is, the kind of people he had around him and the environment he grew up in. it shows us that klaus and dave talked about all kinds of things, nothing was too mundane or unimportant. it shows us that three years after dave’s death klaus is still grieving and is still 100% in love. and it shows us that klaus isn’t always as selfish as people assume right alongside another hit to the face (oof unintentional wording) of just how much he loved dave. he wanted to save dave’s life so badly he made a fool of himself, put up with homophobia, took a hit to the face, and still kept trying to stop him from enlisting even though, per the last timeline, it would mean they’d never meet. klaus is willing to have dave never know him, is willing to handle that pain and heartbreak pretty much forever, as long as dave lives. my heart literally cannot handle it the possession thing. i haven’t stopped being angry and uncomfortable and disgusted by it since i saw it like 2 days ago now. that plot the writers really fucked up on it was a big thing for their relationship but not in any way that lead to growth or understanding or power control or ANYTHING. i love ben but i have so many fucking problems with him after watching s2 that i almost wanna take my love back tbh. the writers tried to make it seem like what ben was doing was okay - because he was angry and frustrated with klaus, because klaus wasn’t doing what he wanted, because klaus couldn’t stay sober, etc. like any of that makes possessing someone without their consent okay... or threatening to possess someone the moment their guard is down (leaving klaus paranoid and afraid to sleep).. or getting permission to possess someone and then refusing to leave (and its double garbage when diego encourages ben to continue possessing klaus. diego’s reason was gross and even if he hadnt given a reason he was still encouraging ben to not give klaus’s body back to him. which like.. im sure klaus can see and hear what’s going on. so he now is aware that his brother would rather have ben-wearing-klaus than actual klaus. the amount that would fucking hurt. a nyway) klaus never really got to talk about how it made him feel, not in any situation where anyone was listening. he never got to go off on ben for what he did, and what he was about to do, even though he had every right to. ben kind of knew how klaus felt about it but he showed very clearly that he didnt care. ben just did not fucking care about klaus this season. and it wasnt a ‘tough love’ thing like they tried to do in s1. it was just horrible and it hurt to watch. and i feel like s2 ben wouldnt have apologized to klaus even if he had been seriously confronted. we now know that klaus has this power. and we know that it can easily be abused by someone else. and i feel like that could tie into his ability to make the ghosts corporeal and such. it could definitely work as an interesting lead into exploring more of his many powers. and it could have worked as a way to bring ben and klaus closer without anyone getting hurt or violated. but.. for s2.. it wasnt used that way. it was used as a way to degrade and humiliate klaus. and they clearly wanted us to find it funny. it was one of the least funny things to happen all season. actually probably THE least funny thing. right along with nobody giving a shit when they thought klaus was having a seizure or OD-ing (both during their meeting with reginald and in the alley when they were supposed to meet up to use the briefcase five got from the handler), AND OF COURSE nobody taking klaus seriously, paying attention to him, or caring about him (except for allison at some points) and ben finally going into the light at the end.. was kind of shoved in?? but i think what made it feel that way, for me at least, wasn’t so much the placement or timing of it but that it wasn’t really acknowledged afterwards?? it just.. happened, and we were all heartbroken, and on screen... nothing. it felt like a very sudden end to his storyline and yeah they could have done a little more to make it feel like a natural end for him thanks for the ask and sharing your thoughts on s2 with me~!! <3

#ask #tua spoilers

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skullboysfinale · 3 years

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A-Z Valentino

Under read more because this will be long

@iblade290

A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection?

By letting you stay with him. He might be an ass sometimes, but if he keeps you close, it means he actually cares for you and will try to keep you safe and away from his problems.

B : BOUQUET. does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

He doesn’t have a favorite kind of flower, but might ask about his lover’s favorite flower when he’s in a good mood.

C : CHOCOLATE. does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

Dark chocolate, period.

D : DATE. what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

Valentino isn’t actually a romantic, despite his codename and holiday theme. Still, he enjoys a nice, relaxing dinner of red meat and whiskey, watching documentaries. If he really likes you though, he might invite you to play chess with him, listen to him play the guitar or even share his interests about Eastern culture with you. Yes, he’s actually a weeb.

E : EMBRACE. does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Again, while not really into ‘sentimentality’, as he says, his hugs tend to be provocative, usually hugging you from behind and whispering sweet things in your ear, sometimes lewd things as well.

F : FLIRT. is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

Among the doctors of the Final Faith unit, Valentino is the best at flirting. Honeyed words, a confident approach, good looks, suggestive gestures, good with his hands and incredibly dominant. He isn’t above using those qualities to obtain what he wants, so consider yourself lucky if he does it because he loves you.

G : GIFT. is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

He isn’t that good, again, because of ‘sentimentality’. He’ll at least straight ask you what you want. He makes up for it with other things. Sexual things.

H : HEART. is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

Slow, although not because he’s cold-hearted. He has ties to some very dangerous beings and knows he’s also a wanted man, so he doesn’t want anyone getting involved with him romantically as they might be in danger because of him. If he ends up in a relationship with you, it’s because he knows you can protect yourself if you need to.

I : I LOVE YOU. does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

Even if he can say lewd things, sweet things and mean things, he finds it really hard to say those magic words. Unless he really fell hard for you.

J : JEALOUSY. does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

He is too confident to feel jealous of someone else while in a relationship, unless he’s going against Kristoff in a polyamorous ship. He’d never let the other person think Kris is a better lover than him.

K : KISS. is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

Excellent kisser, obviously as part of his job to seduce his targets. Sweet and gentle or deep and passionate, you name it. He certainly knows how to use his tongue.

L : LOVE. who does your muse love?

Well... I mean, it really depends on each verse, cause multiships and all that... But just for you, this time I’m going to tell you he loves Maw. Stay tuned for that Christmas thread!

M : MOONLIGHT. what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

Wait, this is the same as D! Except for the last part. He really doesn’t mind where the date will take place at, he prefers to be with someone who he finds interesting enough. Of course, if it ends in sex, much better for him.

N : NAUGHTY. what is your muse like in bed?

You know this one perfectly well. Raw sex, anal, oral, body worship, use of aphrodisiacs, having sex with anyone as long as he finds them attractive... Valentino Fucks, with a capital F.

O : ODE. does your muse have a way with words?

Valentino usually knows how to talk to a potential partner, although you can expect him to be a tease and even sometimes, but that means he is into you.

P : PARTNER. what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Valentino doesn’t really have a preferred type of partner, physically at least. Personality wise, he likes bratty characters, so he can have fun when they tease back.

Q : QUESTION. would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

He will, if he’s really into you. You know it’s serious if he does.

R : ROMANCE. is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

A healthy mix of the two, sliding more towards cynic, but he can be a passionate, romantic lover if he wants to. He simply doesn’t want to go around showing that, besides he doesn’t like public shows of affection.

S : SWEETHEART. did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

He used to be a nerd, so he probably crushed on many girls. He decided to become more confident to get the attention he wanted but ended up becoming bored of that.

T : TRUE LOVE. does your muse believe in true love?

Not exactly; he knows love can also get cold and disappear, in the case he ever falls for someone. He wouldn’t blame his partner for wanting to move on, and would stay in good terms with them.

U : UNREQUITED. has your muse had their heart broken?

Maybe, since he used to be a nerd. Not anymore though, he can take blows fairly well, but he can also deal those.

V : VALENTINE. how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

For someone who represents Valentine’s Day, he isn’t really into it. He does, however, enjoys the whole being a tease in Valentine’s Day thing, by smearing melted chocolate on his chest.

W : WEDDING. would your muse get married? why / why not?

He prefers to invite his partner to move in together to be honest buy might consider it if he really loves you.

X : XOXO. does your muse use / like pet names?

Not really, although he might tease you depending on who you are, like calling someone his little brat, for example.

Y : YOURS. does your muse get protective easily?

He will certainly make sure that anyone who dares to threaten his partner suffers a lot before they beg them for forgiveness. He still cares about his loved ones, and he can hold in resentment quite easily.

Z : ZZZ. how many people has your muse slept with?

It would be easier to count the stars in the sky...

#iblade290 #.:Queue

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heartless-error · 4 years

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Broken, not perfect, but together. - Chapter 5

Fandom: DC comics, Batman

Pairings: Jonathan Kent x Damian Wayne (JonDami) & Jason Todd x Timothy Drake (JayTim)

Rating: General, family feels, hurt/comfort, mental health issues, running away

Other(s) links: AO3

Broken.

The Batfamily was broken.

It was six years ago, and they had barely stood together since then, trying to stand up despite guilt and regret.

Damian was sure there was nothing to save, not after losing something that he didn’t know he cared about. But when a new opportunity to get back what they had lost appeared, he cannot help to doubt as his past decisions haunt him again.

If you love somebody, set them free. But you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

Chapter 5

Now

The sound of the keys being pressed hard and quickly resounded in the room, as well as the light and continuous whisper of the machines on and running around her. The dim morning light leaked slightly into the room, reflecting on the many screens that had been hidden from the public in the watchtower.

Adjusting her glasses better and placing a rebellious lock of hair behind her ear, Barbara read each line, phrase and code that passed on the screen in front of her carefully and methodically.

Although it was early, she had decided not to waste time and get to work immediately on the case that now worried her. After all, Oracle didn’t just guide Gotham vigilantes through the night, she did much more. Also had a few of cases to check out for the Birds of Prey, but she had run into something important the day before that couldn’t wait.

“Here.” Said a figure standing at her side, leaving a steaming and necessary cup of coffee on the counter. She hadn’t even heard him arrive. “Just how you like it.”

That “something” was also the reason his early visitor was there, showing up an hour ago with a promise of coffee and company.

“Thank you.” She said absentmindedly and returning to work as if nothing happened.

She didn’t have to bow her head and look at him to know that Dick was rolling his eyes and smiling at her fondly, she could feel his gaze on her, distilling tenderness and understanding as always did when she was absorbed around him by an important case.

And this certainly was, no matter how much Dick had appeared in the watchtower worried and waiting to talk about a totally different aspect of it.

“Damian knows?” She asked without taking her eyes off the screen, reading the news and recent events as grabbed the cup to take a sip.

As she delighted in the drink’s taste and caffeine starting to pump through her body, Dick pulled out his phone with a dejected aura and turned it on to watch the screen, his face showing nervousness and anticipation. However, that sad and decayed aura grew stronger after verifying he had no calls or messages, then shook his head.

“I’ll try to call him again.” He said, taking a few steps away to not disturb her and dialing Damian’s number, waiting for the younger to answer.

He wasn’t going to.

She knew it, he knew it, everyone knew it.

Contacting Damian these days was already very difficult itself, at least for something unrelated to the crusade. He always hung up unless it was an Oracle frequency, the comms was the only thing that connected him directly with them, and he used to turn off his phone when he knew they could bother him. Depending of the day, he could also read your texts or not, but that depended on his mood and other factors, such as Jonathan Kent intervening or his level od nostalgia.

But no matter how many times she tried to explain Dick that Damian is already 22, he’s not Robin anymore, lives with his boyfriend in Metropolis and doesn’t want to know anything about him. Because he always calls him, waiting for an answer as if nothing had changed. And she, as usual, allows it despite knowing the result.

Also, if Damian doesn’t want to see Dick on a normal daily basis, what makes him think today is going to be different? He had more reasons than ever to avoid him and everyone now, and surely, he would have turned off his phone and hidden it in the darkness corner of a drawer until next week or month.

It wasn’t just because Damian usually isolated himself completely from everything and everyone during the anniversary of Tim and Jason disappearance, without answer and hiding with his head down like a wounded, sad puppy to lick his wounds in the dark. But because this year he had starred a rather interesting and destructive episode resulting from what was surely an unhealthy coping mechanism and an ineffective emotion management.

It wasn’t the first year something like that happened, as time passed and the anniversary arrived, it was well known that it was coming a brief period of awkward silences, latent guilt, heated arguments, and an impending disaster. By whom? That was a surprise.

Two years ago, was Jonathan Kent with his spectacular drunkenness and tractor launch; Three years ago, it was his brother, Conner, who flew out of nowhere to the space, was missing for a whole month and when he returned the answer was “I went for a walk but I got hungry.”; Another was Stephanie and her call from the local police station for get into a bar fight and broke several bones of some men who seemed very afraid of her while they process the fine; Other, was the imminent and irremediable break up of Bruce and Selina after months of arguments and tension, whose consequent robberies to art galleries were disastrous; This year had been Damian getting fully involved in an explosion; And the previous -and the best, in her opinion- was Dick breaking into her living room drunk and stripping while screaming “Let’s do it for the old times” when her father was visiting.

Yes, something happened always, to a greater or lesser extent. Those involved always stayed away for a while before lifting their heads up and bearing the consequences, some more easily than others, of course. Kon promised to say someone if he was taking walks again, Jon paid the tractor, Stephanie the fine for aggression, Selina returned nothing, and now his father can’t look at Dick again. But the whole process took a while, after all the emotions had overflowed, they had stopped being rational so as not to deal with the pain of loss and they had to get back together. That was Damian needed, to recover and take responsibility for what happened.

The problem is that he didn’t know what had really happened, and what it could mean.

“No answer.” Dick sighed coming back to her side.

“Of course not.” She replied thoughtfully and drinking her coffee. “Give him some time.”

“I know, but Babs, he was hurt.” He complained, concern written on his face. “He should be in the cave, recovering…”

Barbara raised an eyebrow and looked at him behind the mug questioningly, causing Dick to snort nervously. If he really thought Damian was going to stay in the cave for a single second, with him there, after the disaster he formed part and injured, he hadn’t been paying attention to anything for the past six years.

“At least he won’t be alone, he’ll call us later.” He won’t. But Dick had to convince himself to don’t lose his temper. “How are you doing with that?”

He asked that pointing to the screen, and she still looked at him recapping her work from a few hours ago.

The explosion in Zodome center had been big, spread to several streets with subsequent serious fires and numerous wounded, deaths still to be determined. But as much as Superboy had appeared to help and the situation had gotten better, for the city was something common. Gamorra was an island where crime lived and reign, always had, no matter how hard they tried to cleanse or purify the place, crime always found another way to get in, adapt and live in the shadows.

That had been precisely the real cause of the explosion, even if they had deduced that it had been because the terrorist group Damian was chasing had become a little nervous with his presence.

Ironically, it was a trigger, but not the cause. One part of the group had entered the island because of the easy access to the black market, and the others for something more important and substantial in these times: information.

“Good.” She replied, setting the cup aside and typing on the keyboard again. “When the servers went down, I could get a lot of what was leaking on that supercomputer.”

Dick nodded, settling on the counter next to her and watching her working again, classifying with her programs the information they now had.

Gamorra was an ideal place for any villain or organization with questionable intentions to find a cozy place and establish a base. No one asked anything, your neighbors were other criminals who didn’t want to be disturbed too and privacy was highly valued.

Except when some annoying neighbors were more curious than usual and discovered a strategically hidden supercomputer in the city center that may contain very valuable information.

She still hadn’t determined who it belonged to and which was the exact function of such a processor, but based on what she had seen so far, the servers acted as a kind of filter between the common and the dark network that they drove privately. Apparently, they were pretty well established, shady deals, big money transactions, questionable contacts, handling and dominance of hacking programs, organ sales, forged documents, human trafficking, and in general everything that a dark net can bring.

Whoever it was, Barbara knew they were good, had resources and well organized, because not only had they managed to escape from their radar all this time, but the security was extreme and the network they had built was very large, it couldn’t have been done by a single individual. It was a group, one that didn’t mind destroying half a city as long as nobody gain access to them, because the moment the terrorists tried to enter, the extra security was activated, and everything was blown up.

All trace of the supercomputer and what had been around it had been reduced to ashes, causing a fatal and unexpected explosion that struck Damian and five blocks around. And everything could have stayed there, they would have succeeded and getting away with it, people would have died, and they would have continued with their network and control in the criminal world, but they didn’t count with one thing:

She was fucking Oracle.

And when everything exploded, the servers and programs that acted as a filter and security went off for a few seconds, then went back on immediately at the other part of the world, probably where the group had another computer which she was already trying to track down. But those few seconds were enough for her to steal information and certain operative programs, freeing them from theirs claws and using for her benefit.

It hadn’t been a lot, but enough. And since then, Barbara had been classifying each thing carefully, disabling viruses, sending the necessary information to entities that may need it and taking notes of every harmful business or name that went through her eyes.

Thanks to this everyone will be busy for a while, they had found a criminal mine which it’s necessary to eradicate and investigate, as well as the group that had given them the network and sense of freedom. If they did it right, they would know soon who they were, and can erase them, but at least she would have liked to discover all of this in a way that didn’t involve a fatal explosion, she’s sure Damian too.

But Damian doesn’t know this, because blames himself for it, can’t stand failure, misses Jason and Tim, and has not been able to forgive anyone in the family since they deserted.

“Something interesting?” Dick ended up asking as she finished her coffee. “Apart from all the illegal acts we now know.”

Barbara leaned over her chair and looked at him, reflecting.

Dick shouldn’t be here. He didn’t even understand part of what was going on, not because he couldn’t, but because his head wasn’t in the right place right now to do it. That’s precisely why he was there, making coffee, smiling at her and watching her working without question, because it was better to be distracted with her than his own thoughts. It wasn’t annoying, nor irritating, just… Babs knew why he did it, and that caused a slight pinch of anguish through her chest and made her want to work without rest to neither think (talking about unhealthy coping mechanism, right?)

Dick didn’t want to be alone. At least not today. But Bruce wasn’t an option, because they would jump into each other’s throat just by being in the same room, and probably argued about who was more guilty of what; Damian had fled away into Jon’s arms, he preferred to spend time with anyone than Dick, and the affection he had for him had frozen at the moment he did that six years ago; Stephanie wasn’t going to receive him, probably would spit him in the face for the same reason; And Cass not only lived with the previous one, but would look at him that way, so… Cass. Former Titans or other friends weren’t a bad choice, but it was as if Dick was afraid to get out of Gotham, as if he were tied up here.

So, he was there with her, talking and trying to distract both of them from the emotional meltdown that the whole thing entailed.

“Actually…” She started to say. “All of this gave me an idea."

“Hm?”

Dick tilted his head with a smile, looking at her expectantly and with great interest, just as he did when he was Robin and they were both young, so young and stupid. And the words Barbara wanted to say died in her throat, leaving her quiet.

She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t hurt him like that.

It was a brief idea, not even well formulated, but one that had been bothering her since she looked at the hacking programs she found within the dark network. Some of them were very smart and well programmed, but there was one in particular, expensive and sophisticated, that had caught her attention. It combined the typical control over cameras and security systems to turn them off or superimpose images, along with facial recognition systems. That reach an interesting effect, because according to what she had understood about it and how operated, if it hacks specific cameras and predetermine a face, a name or a person, the program prevent its detection, saving the images in the private servers of the network, avoiding them come to light and not only the acts of the person who use it were hidden, but also their presence, their existence. As if they had disappeared.

What if…?

With such kind of program, refined and using it correctly in specific points, a person could move around the world perfectly undetected, totally invisible to any media because his image was not registered commonly and it was derived to a closed and secure network. It was dangerous, and at the same time, perfect for wanted criminals, thieves and above all, people who want to disappear.

What if Tim and Jason had been using something similar?

Tim was brilliant and knew Barbara. They had worked together, was familiar with her methods, and he was aware that the moment they disappeared she would track them with all her power. But the tracking and recognition system she had created solely to find them had not find a single match in six years. She had thought it was because they knew how to avoid cameras and keep a low profile too well, but what if it was another thing? What if there was something else blocking her system? Like a sophisticated program like this?

It was a possibility.

And looking at Dick, curious, smiling and expectant, but with a deep sadness, guilt and tiredness shining behind his blue eyes, she realized she couldn’t tell him this. She couldn’t.

Because it was a possibility, it was a hope.

She couldn’t do that to Dick, not like that. If she told him about it and then she was wrong, it would break him. Everyone knew that Dick would jump into a burning building if anyone told him that Tim and Jason were inside. And if Barbara gave him something to hold on to and then take it away from him, she wasn’t sure how he will react. So, she just shook her head, grabbed his now empty cup of coffee and gave it to him carefully.

“Doesn’t matter. Don’t mind me.” She turned that down. “Can you get me another cup, please? I’ll finish this and then we can rest.”

“Of course.” He answered, still smiling and pretending not to have realized how she had hesitated, taking the cup and leaving.

She watched at him go, feeling a little bit more miserable than usual and holding back a sigh. Everything had been easier when they were young and stupid, hadn’t it? It was just them, jumping in the roofs, forming a good team and laughing as they flight. Now they have secrets, regrets, permanent injuries, brothers to miss and nobody to ask for forgiveness.

Would any of this have happened if she had put more effort at the time? What would have changed if she had decided to speak when everything happened instead of remaining neutral? Had anything would change?

She shook her head and decided she couldn’t begin to think about that topic beyond the possibility that now had, because it wouldn’t worth to sink in unanswered questions again. She knew the idea wasn’t defined either, that maybe it was more complicated than that, after all Tim was smarter and if he did something like this, he would do it with people he trusted.

But a little hunch mixed with a tiny hope leaded her to search that program, studying it for a few seconds. She couldn’t trace who used it and how, but now she’s the owner and main admin, she could disable it, undo it, digging up the original images. The probability that Jason and Tim were there was low, but if she were wrong at least would leak infinity of incriminating videos and photos that would serve to put other people in jail.

“It would be too lucky, right?” She thought with irony.

It was very difficult to be optimistic after so long. And after pressing the button, she saw how her systems started to work, analyzing and storing the images that were already beginning to appear in her screen quickly.

She heard Dick approaching her again, this time with two cups in his hands. Quiet, the ex-batgirl thought about how she could trace other programs like this, or their creator, or anything that could bring her a little closer to what had caused not to be able to find the missing Robins with her methods. And also, allowed herself to think with sadness how easy it would be if Tim were here, in another computer and helping her in the same disinterested way as ever, smiling shyly and insecurely as he told her about how Jason had invited him to his favorite chilli dogs truck the other night, or how Damian had been mad at him because Alfred the cat had learned if his owner put him on a diet, the solution was beg food to Tim.

She remembered how empty and useless she felt when she couldn’t track down or find the other two after Bruce called for help. As if all the work and development she had been through after being paralyzed were nothing, because at the end she couldn’t find her family.

Until one alarm started to ring.

An aloud and shrill alarm that had never sounded before, and she had been waiting -begging- for six years.

“Don’t screw with me.” She said straightening up in her chair and looking up surprised. “Don’t fucking screw with me.”

“What’s that sound?” Dick asked, standing at her side again.

“Oh shit.” She said, getting away from that computer to go to another one, rushing and starting to typing in a hurry, more surprised than ever. She didn’t think it would be true, nor if she were even right. “Oh shit!”

“Babs?” The other asked again, chasing after her and beginning to worry. It wasn’t like her to act like this unless she had a reason. “What happens?”

“Oh my god.”

“Babs?!”

She didn’t answer, because it was better to turn on the other screens around them so that Dick could see the same as her.

All the screens lighted up, showing images, many images from different places, different countries, a lot of places whose cameras had managed to record those whom they lost. The tall figure of Jason accompanied by the little of Tim, sometimes alone, almost always together, appearing in every corner of the screens without stopping, images where they were laughing, talking, walking, kissing, living, appearing one after another. Some from years ago, others from months, weeks, hours, the most recent from a few minutes.

Babs gasped, assimilating what she had just achieved. Dick dropped the cups on the floor, overwhelmed. “Match detected.” Shined on the screens, in large and showy letters, at last.

“Oh shit.”

They found them.

#myfic #tim drake #jason todd #jon kent #jonathan kent #damian wayne #jondami #jaytim #timjay #damijon #red hood #red robin #superboy #robin #dc #dc comics #supersons

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