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#bc i felt like the popularity of these types of characters are never well deserved
jackienautism · 9 months
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i’m tired of being silent. please please please i can’t be the ONLY person on this goddamn planet who can’t fuckijg stand dylan
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bronzetomatoes · 6 months
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i do think oh so frequently about the dsmp fandom's response to c!Tommy's trauma, but it just works so well as an exaggerated example of what happens in other fandoms. like. the idea was that he was villianised by fans for turning angry and mean after being abused, which was seen as an inherent flaw rather than a trauma response, right? because it didn't fit into the way fictional abuse victims are treated like objects of pity in fandoms.
and a lot of ppl thought this was happening bc people who turn bitter and angry and lash out due to trauma are never represented in media, but... they are. lol. i can name like 3 off the top of my head, one of them being from a show made in the 70s-80s. it's just that they either got the same treatment on a smaller scale (because the DSMP fan culture was essentially a 10-year fandom compressed into a year or 2), or they just. ignore it. they pretend that they were the "perfect victim" all along, mischaracterise them in the popular fanon, turn their anger issues into a palettable sort of anxiety disorder, morph their PTSD symptoms into something sympathetic rather than what they find to be too mean or scary.
they'll insist that they're misunderstood, but what they mean is that their actions "weren't that bad" or "were perfectly justified". there's no middle ground lmao bc they can't accept that the sympathetic traumatised character could have done bad things due to said trauma without their victim deserving it. c!Tubbo didn't deserve to be told that he was worth less than the discs, but c!Tommy is not an irredeemable monster, nor was he justified in saying that. Zuko was a 16-year-old boy living in the shame caused by his abuse, and he was absolutely horrible to his crew, burned down suki's village, and constantly turned on people who were only kind to him. like this feels like such a stupid thing to type, that people can do awful things that you don't need to justify but you also don't have to hate them forever. like.
ik this felt like a DSMP-centric issue bc it was a lot of ppl's babys-first-fandom (both the ppl defending and condemning ctommy, though more of the latter), but isn't it obvious how people were filled with sympathy for Hawkeye and disdain for BJ? how this has always been a problem?
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morkofday · 4 months
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Every month of 2023 ✨
Post your most popular and/or favorite edit/gifset for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)
thank you so much for tagging me zey [x] @smileytharn, mj [x] @forcebook, jessi [x] @daymork, and antania [x] @raypakorn ♥ it was so lovely to look through all of your creations! you've all worked hard during the past year and i hope i get to see more creations from all of you throughout this year ^^
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i'm collecting my creations for each month under the cut but let's look at some fun statistics at first! (inspired by antania's post ♥)
i created 68 edits
additionally, there were 5 photo collabs (jimmysea photoshoots)
and 4 text post meme posts (for last twilight)
the most edits i made in may (due to our skyy 2 episodes)
most of my edits were related to vice versa (13 in total)
the second most popular ones were bad buddy (8 edits) and last twilight (10 edits)
most of my edits were either lovely/warm or angsty
i got deep into episode edits this year
and also took inspiration from other than poetry and lyrics
thank you so much for being part of all this!
January
my most popular edit was this vegaspete set i made for @spicyvampire ♥ i actually like it a ton! but my personal favorite from this month is my bad buddy characters + the real 5 love languages set. i like the meme a ton and i loved how the set turned out (+ for me, it's super funny).
February
my most popular edit this month was the toddblack differences edit i made for @i-got-the-feels ♥ it was a very different type of edit and i'm very happy ppl liked it this much. personal favorite is this jimmy(sea) set for the varitda mv he/they appeared in. i loved the aesthetic of the mv and i feel like i captured that very well.
March
the most popular edit in march was my akkayan + one direction piece dedicated to @fitfmybeloved ♥ i think i need to make something else with a similar style sometime. my favorites would be the puen & talay's top 10 outfits edits which technically happened in february and march. i had a ton of fun with them and i honestly adore looking at the results.
April
my birthday month! the most popular creation was my beyond evil edit which was interesting to make according to @nongnaos's request ♥ i had never edited this show (or any kdrama) before and i also struggled a bit with figuring out the layout. it's a very simple set but felt fitting. my favorite this month would be this puentalay set made for you antania ♥ it took a lot of time, especially all the coloring, but it was worth every second! (special mention for my sea bday set which i still cannot believe the bday boy actually saw and liked on twt ;; i love him so much!)
May
i think it's very deserved that my most popular edit in may was this puentalay one for my our skyy 2 episode edits series. it's for the first vice versa episode and tbh also my personal favorite out of all those episode edits i made ^^ the coloring just worked super well there. my true favorite of the month was the pran's life anthem edit i made for @pransobrave ♥
June
as is fitting for pride month, my most popular edit and also my personal favorite was my our skyy 2 couples edit where i tried to describe all of their different loves through the colors of a rainbow. it was a lot of fun to do!
July
the most popular edit this month was the pran set i made for @punpunsutatta ♥ i had a lot of fun with this one bc i got to try some new things with it. personal faves and my peak as an editor (in my own opinion) were the two puentalay edits i made this month. this sam smith song inspired one i made for you zey ♥ i adore the layout and the colors, it makes me think about vintage images and letters. and this other one was born bc the quote haunted me. i love the pink in it a lot, it's so soft.
August
for august, i felt like i was making a ton of things even if i didn't have the energy or the time. in reality, i didn't make that many but i made a couple of very big sets. one of them and the most popular one this month was my winteam set made for @jimmysea ♥ making it took some research and then i had to go through the episodes a little while i searched for the fitting scenes. personal favorite was this akktheo set bc it turned out looking very cute. i think it captures their feeling as a couple and their story well. special mention for my jimmy bday set bc i poured my heart into it ♥ i love this man so much (and i currently wish he is fine and gets well soon, he's apparently in the hospital ;;)
September
things got hectic in september as i started my internship and had to travel around a lot. i was too tired to do much else but work and study and watch dramas without any brain. that's why i only made two edits. my most popular set was my last request edit for my event. it was patpran with the lyrics from ford arun's song come closer and made for @celestial-sapphicss ♥ i love the colors in this so much. personal favorite, only barely, is still my puentalay + 8 types of love set. i had a blast making it as a kind of collab with @dimpledpran who made the patpran version!
October
made only two edits (or well, one cut into two parts) in october too due to being very busy and tired. they were quite big tho bc i used a long while gathering material for them. it was its own type of research project when i wrote down all the times puentalay told each other 'i love you' without saying those exact words to each other. i struggled with the layout too as mimi can probably remember :'D but i love these sets a lot so they're both my favorite and most popular ♥
November
finally in november last twilight came to save all of us and so it's no wonder i created a lot for that during this month :'D i honestly wished to make more but i was still mostly busy with my internship and with starting my thesis. my most popular one was this last twilight trailer edit. i think it was fun to kind of make it similar to my mock trailer edit all that time ago. my personal favorite is the mork + linkin park edit that probably caters to only myself lol. am honestly obsessed with each song mentioned in this bc i can see it with mork so well. it was a relief to get that one out.
December
haven't really had the time to dive as deep into last twilight and make as many edits for it as i'd wanted due to using most of december to catch up on sleep and all the studying i couldn't do during my internship, but hopefully now i'll have more time to devastate yall ♥ the most popular post was this last twilight + random tweets thing and my personal favorite is the only morkday quote edit i've managed so far. i love the colors and the whole concept to bits, and cannot wait to make more ^^
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thank you if you read this far! i'm not sure who hasn't been tagged yet bc i'm a bit late with this one but if you have done this already, you can always send it my way! i almost demand you do. i love appreciating all your art ♥
tagging: @dimpledpran @jimmysea @moonkhao @chinzillas @khaotunqs @pranink @dengswei @taeminie @psychic-waffles (i'd love to see your art!) @yilinglaozu @eohachu @difanghua @mooninagust @namchyoon ♥
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tiredbitchposts · 1 year
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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...
Sure i'll try my best to answer this for you
10-) Gaara from Naruto
Reason: He's the first antagonist i've ever rooted for, not for his plans but for his mental health. When i first saw his backstory i just wanted to riot bc damn, people really treated this boy like a monster since day one and then got surprised when he started acting like it, i just wanted him happy and at the least i got that at the end of the anime (No, i refuse to watch Boruto on principle)
9-) Tsukiyomi Ikuto from Shugo Chara
Reason: We all have our problematic shoujo male leads that we love. In my defense i watched Shugo Chara when i was 12 years old and it wasn't until later when i realized the age difference but even then i still have a soft spot for him in my heart. He and his sister suffered so much and i just want them happy, healthy and taken care of (he's also the reason why i'm into catboys now that i think abt it)
8-)Naruto Uzumaki from Naruto
Reason: He's my baby boy (not in a carnal way), i watched this boy grow up rooting for him to achieve his dreams, he's the first male protagonist i was emotionally invested in and ngl to this day i still read fix-it fics for his childhood because in my heart of hearts he deserves it (Still refusing to watch Boruto tho)
7-) Haruka Nanase from free! Iwatobi swim club
Reason: The reason is not as deep as the others i'm afraid, i genuinely loved Free! When it first came out, i was obsessed with Haru's character and the way he was as a person, he's extremely attractive and i want to crack him open like an egg and study his insides (he's also very shipable and i like that in a fictional man)
6-) Kageyama Tobio from Haikyuu
Reason: He's my awkward lil guy. I loved the way he developed as a character, from a temperamental, lonely volleyball genius to the type of guy that still uses the signature his upperclassman came up for him in high school as a pro player. I also really liked how we only got the reason why he was acting like he did in middle school only at the end of the end of the manga and how it made everything make sense in retrospect
5-) Hinamori Amu from Shugo Chara
Reason: Shugo Chara was my first magical girls anime and i still have a really soft spot for Amu in my heart. I know she's not the most well written deep characters around but i really like how she was an escape for me when i was younger. She was a pretty, popular, preteen girl who was an awkward mess and while i could only relate to the awkward mess, the fact that she got publicaly rejected by her crush and her taste in fashion i still watched her go because it felt good to see her do so
4-) Jason Todd from the Batman franchise
Reason: He's my babygirl (not always in a carnal way), this boy suffered so much in life, was happy for a few years, got brutally murdered, then brought back to suffer more. He's one of Dc's favorite punching bags and my dream is to see him happy, healthy and in therapy. Really hate how his own father won't avenge his death or let him do it himself, just fuck that clown already since you like him so much
3-) Wei Wuxian from Mdzs
Reason: I really do have a thing for red wearing, died but got better, on his second life but sluttier than ever characters. This boy deserves the world, he did do many morally reprehensible things in his time but it's all justified because i said so, he deserved his happy ending and my only complaint is that it didn't come sooner
2-) Shen Qingqiu from Scum Villain's self-saving system
Reason: This man is a whole ass clown, a walking contradiction, he's the reason why some people describe Scum Villain as a greek tragedy with clown music playing in the background. I've never seen someone so in-tune but detached from reality, bro doesn't even know his own emotions, on the inside he's a chronically online millenial on the outside he's the milfiest shizun in the Cang Qiong mountain sect and everyone knows it
1-) Kagome Higurashi from Inuyasha
Reason: This is my girl and i'll not take any criticism for it. She's a 15 years old middle schooler having to go back in time to fix a magical jewel to save japan and she's being so brave about it. She's an extremely kind person, does her best to see the good in everyone, even in people that attempted om her life before, she's a bit immature at times and has a temper but again, she's 15. She deserved better in general and because of that, and many more other reasons, that i fucking refuse to ever watch Yashahime, i just think it sucks she didn't even get to raise her daughter
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browniefox · 8 months
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Fic Stats Game
Rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.
Saw @lazuliquetzal do this, said anybody was welcome to, so why not? I get the feeling I know what these will be but oh well.
Most Hits
Easily Detours with 160k hits. She has over 4x the hits as the one below her. Detours, for those who don’t know, is my super long pokemon fic that focuses on Ingo, Dawn, and Rei! I’m super proud of it, and out a lot of work into it - not just writing wise, it has specialized page breaks and character guides for every chapter. So I’m glad it got the love it deserves :D
Second Most Kudos
That title goes to Fate Ties Us Together with 3k kudos. Surprisingly popular, it’s an ATLA soulmate au fic, mostly focusing on Zuko having to work up the nerve and find the right time to tell the Gaang he’s their soulmate (it’s more like a platonic over romantic thing). It’s very cute, but also god I could’ve written it better haha.
Third Most Comments
The Archive and the Archivist with 363 comments.this one actually surprised me! It’s a TMA fox where Jon goes back in time to season 1, but with the twist that Sasha from an au where she was the Archivist also goes back in time, and both try to covertly change the future. I had no idea it was so popular comment wise, but I’m happy for it!
Fourth Most Bookmarks
It’s Fate Ties Us Together Again! Honestly surprised it’s not higher, but I guess not everyone uses bookmarks the same way I do.
Fifth Most Words
I DONT WANT TO BE THIS TYPE OF ANIMAL ANYMORE is here with 42k words.it’s a Disco Elysium fic where Harry has to get through the Hanged Man case with, on top of everything else, being a werewolf. It’s a super fun fic to write, so it checks out it has a lot of words! It’s also hard tho bc the skills are so tricky to write.
Least Words
Maybe He Never Left with 217 words. Oh my god, this is a Voltron fic from 2017, mentioning how I felt like Shiro has some lasting effects from his time captive. And you know what? I can stand by it, really I still am fond of most of my Voltron stuff - it’s all basically season 1 or 2, so it’s from when I had hope for the series.and I loved exploring Shiro as a character.
This is the part where I’m supposed to get people. Uh, @the-east-art, I’m… I can’t think of anyone else who for sure writes fanfic. Well, so it if you want to! I love looking at my stats, I think it’s fascinating.
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mythiccheroacademia · 3 years
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—single!parent headcanons
part one
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mtha thots: the manga makes me really sad and i think children deserve a childhood so i made this to cope
all characters are 18+
Warnings: it’s long but, other than that, none <3
© 2021 all writing content belongs to mythiccheroacademia. do not repost or modify
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Shouto Todoroki: 
truth be told, shouto never wanted children 
he knew how important someone’s childhood meant
shouto honestly couldn’t trust himself not to mess it up :(
so imagine his surprise when he came to fall in love with this little boy, no older than six, he found snooping around a dumpster 
it’s actually kind of funny how they came to be bc shouto was 100% put off by the kid
when they made eye contact, they stared at each other like 
shouto:🧍🏻
the boy: 👁👄👁
shouto again:🧍🏻
before the brat blew him a raspberry and tried to run off 
ofc he caught up to him and, despite the boy’s tantrum, the two went straight to the police
and for some reason, todoroki ended up with him in his condo
the first couple of weeks were terrible 
it seemed like Yuuma hated his guts 
shouto let him have his space and only really pestered him when it was time to do the essentials
at midoriya’s suggestion, he’d try and talk to him about his day or how his therapy sessions went, but it was no use 
the boy would tell him not to worry about it and scurry off 
this happened for some time and honestly, todoroki was at his wit’s end 
until one day, shouto realized that it wasn’t that the child hated him, he just didn’t want to be a burden him
then everything clicked 
mustering up the courage, todoroki one day asked Yuu if he’d like to help him make dinner and the way the kid’s eyes brightened up at the chance to be useful made him a bit sad
but he pushed it away in favor for how the boy blossomed as he showed shouto the right way to stir meat stew and make onion rings
at the end, the red n white hero gave him an honest smile and thanked him for his help
Yuuma looked at him for a long time before bursting into tears 
it was the first time shouto had seen him cry in weeks 
it was also the first time they hugged
from then on, it was almost magical how well they clicked 
the boy was exitable and extroverted, todoroki was quiet and reserved 
they were both stubborn to a fault sometimes and that didn’t bode over well during the few disagreements they had but they brought the best out in each other 
shouto made the kid feel safe and secure, always reminding him that anything he did for him was never burdensome 
Yuuma gave the hero a confidence boost and a chance at another type of love he never knew he wanted 
the first time his son called him dad was when todoroki made the adoption official 
Yuuma shyly asked if it was okay that he called him his father and shouto will not admit to the tears he desperately tried to hide from a teasing midoriya and his siblings (ofc he had them there)
no one knows this but todoroki literally had separation anxiety the first couple of years
his child was just fine being with the babysitter but shouto would spend his work days/nights feeling very tense being away from him 
called/texted the kid all the time, left him encouraging sticky notes in his lunch box, and would hug him for at least 3 min before leaving the house
he’s such a mother hen bye
he’s lucky yuu adores him bc he was lowkey doing a lot LMAO
they have movie nights together and geek over manga like nerds 
yuuma cosplayed as roy mustang once and todoroki has an album of pics from that day alone 
todoroki’s the type to randomly bring his son fruit just because 
yuuma regularly slept in shouto’s bed/futon until around 7th grade
as his son got older, and more popular (w the ladies AND gents hehe) at school, todoroki got a little jealous bc yuuma wanted to spend more time with his friends
he was legit hurt the first time yuu canceled on movie night to go to a sleepover 🥺
todoroki moped over it until midoriya told him to knock it off 💀
it’s a shameful quality of his, but shouto will always lie to get his kid out of the stupid shit he gets himself into only bc yuu plays really funny pranks 
has to keep himself from laughing in front of the principle 
they’re both lowkey mischevious asf 
he’ll scold him later tho so it’s okay, he’s responsible™️
shouto always calls yuu “son”
if he calls him by his full name, he’s either sad or annoyed w him
during family gatherings, yuuma is the star of the show bc of his superb cooking skills
he and fuyumi get along great
and surprisingly enough, bakugo adores the kid even though the same can’t be said for todoroki himself 
yuuma wants to open a restaurant and he’s a little afraid of his father’s reaction
little does he know, shouto is ready to hand over his black card at moment’s notice purrr✨
he’s a really supportive father and he has his hiccups, but todo tries his very best and his son makes him impossibly proud every day 
oh and did i mention they wear matching sweaters?
they’re that kind of family
it’s so cute i could die 
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Midoriya Izuku: 
midoriya was born and bred to be a father 
change my mind 
i mean look at that face 
that’s daddy material to me 😌
anyways
midoriya has two girls that are about a year apart
due to the immense pressure of being with the #1 hero and an unwillingness to be a mother, his then girlfriend at the time suddenly left him, signing over all maternal rights to the hero 
it just crushed izuku 
he spent weeks trying to look for her and to make it work 
he wanted his girls to have a two-parent household, but she went radio silent 
it was a difficult adjustment 
but deku is the most ambitious and resiliant person on the planet so he was devoted to giving them the best lif he could 
and ofc he had the support of all his friends and his mother 
but there were a lot of ups and downs
mostly downs in the first year being a single parent
at the time, his youngest wasn’t even one whiles eldest was almost two 
and izuku worked a lot 
being #1 meant he was the country’s go-to whenever something happened and he missed a lot of stuff he’d never get to redo 
like his youngest, Maia’s, first word which was “bunny”
and the first time his oldest, Naomi, went to the bathroom by herself 
and izuku will never forget the day he came to pick his kids up after being on a week long international mission
when he reached out for them, they looked at him as if they didn’t know who he was 
izuku spent the entire night crying in inko’s arms 
the next morning, he only had to deliver some paperwork, but everyone noticed the usually chipper hero’s sour mood and stayed clear from his path
even bakugo and todoroki felt chills when izuku passed by 
it was tough, but deku was determined 
he started taking up night shifts so he could be there for his girls during the day
he’d pick them up from inko’s right after work and spend the day playing with them 
izuku stayed up on a dangerous amount of caffeine and will power
there were days he literally passed out from exhaustion, but it was worth it to see them through their milestones 
when Naomi went to kindergarten, he couldn’t stop buzzing around w excitement
he just adored listening her ramble on about what she learned and that persisted on even as she grew
like, she’s a genius
she was his doppleganger in intellect and resilience
she’s def a daddy’s girl and although she’s not as empathetic as her father, they’re very close 
naomi is an excellent older sister and stepped up early when izuku couldn’t always be there 
maia is izuku’s match in personality
she’s very sweet, a bit more extroverted, and compassionate
but pls don’t get it twisted, that girl gives the fam a run for their money 
she’s got izuku’s righteousness but heightened 100x and with a lot more anger
the girl’s got quite the mean mug and she got hands highkey
they both do tbh (i mean, izuku is their dad...)
the amount of fights naomi’s had to back her up in is ridiculous 😭
they’re two peas in a pod tho so if you mess w one sister, you mess w both ‼️
regardless of all that, izuku wouldn’t change them for anything 
he’s the type to obnoxiously kiss them on their cheeks before school
they’ll take turns doing each other’s hair
izuku gets pigtails that he proudly wears to work 
deku has a private instagram that is so filled with those two, sometimes ppl forget it’s his
he def has a “girl dad” t-shirt
he calls them his angels 🥺
i see him getting a tattoo of their names on his arm or something
they’re all cry babies so when they get into arguments, it doesnt last long
both girls went to UA to be heroes and izuku’s heart just soars with pride every day 
he also cried an obnoxious amount and for some odd reason, kept popping up for “demonstrative purposes”
they had to have a family talk so they could tell him to stop babying them in the kindest way possible 
and by that i mean, naomi said it bluntly and maia did damage control lmao
overall, izuku loves those girls more than life and they love him just the same 
raising them was a rollercoaster, but he’d do it all over again in a heartbeat
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Sero Hanta:
another one that just looks like he’d be an amazing father
please have my children sir
sero is one of the few that was actually looking to adopt a kid
he came from a large family and desired connection with a family of his own
he tried a for a while, but it never seemed to happen
until he came about a small girl he met on the off chance of passing by her hospital room when he was getting a quick check up
she was one of the children they saved on a mission and when he saw her curled up on the hospital bed that seemed to swallow her whole, his feet moved on their own
the girl, Keiko, was left injured and an orphan, yet despite her circumstances, she was just a joy to be around 
sero spent the rest of visiting time with her and just knew she was it for him
she was very sick so he’d spend his breaks visiting her at the hospital 
keiko was a huge cellophane fan and it just melted his heart 🥺
she’d have a huge smile on her face, unabashedly showing off her missing front tooth, every time he walked in
they’d spend hours just drawing or talking about their day
when sero shyly brought up the possibility of adopting her, keiko could barely contain herself 
she drew him one of her best pieces as a thank you and sero still has it hanging on his mirror to this day ❤️
keiko’s actually quite the artist so there’s many more up there to keep it company 
the adjustment period went smoother than anticipated
the girl had her moments and hanta was getting used to being a 24/7 parent, but it was like they quickly acted as if they had been blood related their entire lives
they are ride or dies for each other LMAO
they don’t argue
like at all
the worst they ever got was when keiko rushed to help her father on the job when she happened to see him get hurt 
sero yelled at her in panic 
it was so startling that they avoided each other for the time being
but a few hours later, sero went and apologized 
and that was that
keiko had frequent nightmares and sero would sacrfice copious hours of sleep so that he could turn on the projecter and give her a run down about every star in the “sky” before she falls asleep 
he actually bought and named a star after her for her first bday with him
sero pats her head a lot and she hates it
he calls her squirt, sport, kid, and princess if they’re having a soft moment
they have an unholy amount of matching onsies 
the kid was already getting to the stage where she wanted to be independent, but she would let her father pick out her outfits sometimes
only bc he put a lot of effort into doing it 
aka, she caught him crying over cute pintrest pics bc he’s a simp
okay but sero really, isn’t much of a crier, but he’s sentimental asf
every milestone is recorded
every school night, he’s there (she was a good kid, so he all but gloats w pride after every visit w the teachers)
any drawing she makes, he has 
he’ll do anything to be there for his daughter so it really crushed him when he couldn’t go to her high school’s father daughter dance 
sero had a mission he couldnt get out of and he was sorely pissed off about it 
keiko assured her father that it was okay and that it was corny anyways
but he could hear the disappointment in her voice 
he made kirishima go with her anyways bc he didnt want her to miss out on the experience 
and you bet your ass that when she came back home, sero was there in a tux with the living room set up to make it up to her 
it is just as cheesy as you think it is, but they’re cute so who cares 
also the way they both can dance is crazyyyyyy
rhythm isn’t even the word
if there was a competition for best father-daughter dance duo, they would win every time! and i stand by that!
they have at least one viral tiktok dance they did together
sero’s not the emotional type, but the first time keiko had a boyfriend he def made a threat or two to him 
it was actually so scary 
anyways
they’re honestly the cutest duo and everyone on the block agrees
 i love it ❤️
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sunflowerhae · 4 years
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Lifeboat
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N.J (2k)
A/N• this is purely indulgent. It also has quite heavy themes, but at this point are any of us surprised. I want to make something clear, the reader doesn’t do what she does bc of what happens with her and Jaemin (I’m trying not to spoil). I mean, that’s just a tip of the iceberg type situation. That being said, if you are having similar thoughts as our dear reader, please call your countries suicide hotline, and/or talk to someone you trust in your life. ALSO, I am not trying to romanticize any of the topics I wrote about, I’m trying to show that even the people that seem to have it all can be just as lost and broken as the rest of us, also that the most important thing you could be to a person is someone who asks them if they’re okay. Sometimes, that’s all a person needs - Someone to listen.
READ!⚠️angst, suicide,character death, drugs, heavy self-hating words, depiction of depression/mental illness, not specified, but insinuates⚠️
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{🎵SOTS☁️; Lifeboat, Elle McLemore}
The world seemed to close in on you as you stared at the boy who stood before you with a hardened gaze in his eyes. While you only stood a good 3 feet away from him, you could feel the anger and helplessness radiating off of him, transferring itself onto you in sadness and heartbreak.
“Why?” Was the only thing you could manage to get past your lips.
“Y/n, it’s not that I don’t like you, of course I do. We’ve been dating for 2 years, but I’ve just been... uncomfortable almost the whole time. It’s not your fault, it’s just, your life. I can’t handle being with one of the most popular girls in school. You seem to have it all figured out, and everyone loves you, and I feel pushed to the side sometimes.” You didn’t understand why Jaemin was mad, but the small space under the bleachers where you both stood was enough to suffocate you to the point where you didn’t care to ask.
He didn’t understand.
They never understood.
No one.
You wanted to fight to save your relationship, but the words choked into the back of your throat, just like they did when Soojin would bully people in front of you, and you wanted to scream at her and pull the other person into your arms and whisper that it will all be okay and apologize apologize apologize, but you stayed rigid on her flank, silently trying to survive until you could get to Jaemins arms, or to the bottom of a beer bottle at yet another house party you were constantly forced to attend with your other two friends.
You choose to swallow your spit, and ask him, “is this because of soojin? Did she say something to you?” You knew your “dear” friend had a certain distaste for your long term boyfriend, because - as she had worded it - his kind doesn’t belong next to someone that Soojin had deemed acceptable enough to befriend (you); “His kind” being not necessarily the most popular. Him and his other friends were amazing people, and you wished you would have befriended them on the first day of freshman year, instead of the blonde girl in your Art 1 class that always had a red scrunchie. When Jaemin introduced you to them, you could tell they were hesitate to let you into their life - what with your position within your schools hierarchy system. You honestly didn’t blame them. However, after a while they warmed up to you, and you felt like you finally fit in with people. You thought these people would become your life long friends; long after you’ve left high school and forgotten all about the life you unwillingly lead.
You suppose that is no longer the case.
“No, yes, god I don’t know, y/n. It’s just, everything! You have friends that are bitches, and I never know when you’re just going to leave me and spread some terrible rumor about me!” He was silently yelling now. It was after school, and the football team was on the field - the other side of where you stood - practicing. There were people running on the track, cheerleaders practicing next to the field, leftover students wondering the grounds. Everyone was living, moving on with their lives and turning along with the Earth - why did you feel frozen? Why did you feel like nothing was ever going to keep moving and be okay and the world was never going to be beautiful again?
“Is that what you expect me to do, Jaemin? After two years of knowing me, is that what you think of me?”
“God, y/n, maybe! I see who you align yourself with so I wouldn’t be surprised if you were a bitch just like them!” You understood he was just hurting, like you, but that didn’t make the words hurt any less. You took a couple steps back from his figure with slow nods, before turning around fully and booking your way to your car.
Jaemin watched your retreating figure with tears curling into his eyes. He left not long after you did, still thinking about you on the way home. He didn’t know this at the time, but that was the last time he ever saw you. His first love, his first heartache.
You felt guilty.
You always did. You always had this insistent chewing at your intestines; this constant voice in your head telling you that everyone was better than you, and that you didn’t deserve the praise you got for being a good person.
You tried to fight the words and the icky feelings off with trips to the volunteer center - usually with Jaemin. You went that night, hoping that this constant pain in your heart after hearing jaemins smooth, venom-filled words would choke back and leave your system, like the terrible feelings usually did when you helped people. However, no matter how many people smiled at you, and no matter how many lives you got to help, the feeling only grew more and more.
You are worthless, y/n.
You only do charity work for your own need.
No one likes you.
You’ll never be loved.
Not even Jaemin loves you.
These ill thoughts were a normal occurrence for you. Usually, Jaemin would lay you down, rub your stomach, and whisper in your ear how beautiful you were to him, inside and out.
You were a nuisance and a waste to him, y/n.
The feelings never left, and you could tell people knew something was wrong with you, so you chose to leave the center early. On your way out, a familiar face had asked you where Jaemin was. You pretended you didn’t hear them.
Your room was dark. Usually, if you couldn’t have Jaemin, you would go to your parents. However, they were away at a dinner event for your mother’s work. You would never go to Soojin, and while you loved Haeyong, she had a tendency to tell Soojin about what you two privately talked about; always trying to get brownie points with the blonde girl who seemed to secretly hate her. You figured there was someone you could go to, and it didn’t hurt to try.
Y/n [10:57pm] u up???? I kinda need someone to talk to rn hAha. Read
Y/n [10:59pm] hello? 👉👈 Read
Y/n [11:02pm] Haechan why r you leaving me on read bro?? Ik he’s your best friend, but we don’t have to talk about him, I just need someone to talk to pLS pls. Read
[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:02PM
Haechan [11:03pm] listen y/n we shouldn’t talk anymore, I’m sorry. You were a good friend, but Jaemin was and always will be first to me. And he’s right, we never know when you’re going to do a 180 on us and tell all of our secrets to everyone. We can’t - and never have been able to - trust you. I’m sorry, really. You’re a popular girl. You don’t need us, you’ll forget. When we became friends with you, we didn’t really want to, Jaemin kinda forced us to, I hope u understand. :/ we’ll forget about u, u forget about us. Deal? Read
Y/n [11:04pm] um ok. Sorry for bothering you all, have a good night Read
Y/n [11:03pm] when will u be home?Read
[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:04PM
Mom [11:06pm] not for a while, ask Jaemin to come over if you’re scared of being alone. Read
Y/n [11:06pm] mom i hate to be annoying but can u and dad come home rn??? I need u Read
[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:06PM
Mom [11:08pm] are you dying? Has someone broken in? Are you unsafe?Read
Y/n [11:08pm] um,,,,no Read
Mom [11:10pm] well then no y/n. You know how much this award means to me, I’ve been constantly working lately and finally might get recognized for it. If I leave now, I might not get it. Can whatever you need wait? Read
Y/n [11:11pm] Um yeah. I love u Read
Mom [11:12pm] u too💖 Read
Why were you never first?
Why was there no one who asked you if you were okay?
If there was, what would you say?
See y/n? No one likes you.
You’re a bother to them.
Maybe you should fix that.
Maybe if you made their lives easier, they would love you.
You didn’t deserve their love, but maybe?
Maybe the pills could love you.
They were always there for you.
Maybe, they could help others love you too.
Love love love love.
Maybe.
Maybe.
They say your parents found you in bed.
They thought you were sleeping. I mean, all your lights were off, it was late.
But in the morning, when your mother came to wake you up and saw that your eyes were wide open, well....
They found the note on your desk across the room.
It was dated a year before.
You had written it a year before.
Everyone admitted that it was such a beautiful note. Heartbreaking? Yes. gut-wrenching? Of course. But beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
They gathered everyone into the gym the next day in intervals. Freshman, who didn’t understand what was really happening, but had heard your name and definitely knew who you were, and could put two and two together.
Next, the sophomores. Like the freshman, they only had heard of you. Some had met you, some cried. You were kind, they knew.
After them, the juniors. Chenle and Jisung were sitting in the corner. Jisung was sobbing into Chenle’s lap, while silent tears fell down the olders’ face. You had always been willing to play video games with them, and were such a kind hearted person. They remember last night, when they were all sitting together and haechan had read your texts you sent out loud, and all of them were so busy feeling for Jaemin, that they blindly informed Haechan on what he should say. On how to break your heart. Chenle wished Haechan had called her.
Finally, the seniors. Soojin and Haeyong sat in the back, as always. They were both upset because you had not been answering their texts.
Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, and Jaemin were sitting on the other side. They had not been told what the assembly was about, but when the teacher got the call about it, halfway through math, she sat at her desk for a couple of seconds with her head in her hands. They knew whatever the assembly was about was not good.
Haechan was the first to react out of the four.
He whispered your name silently with wide eyes rounded on his face. His mind went to the first time you met him. You played him in a round of Overwatch to get him to warm up to you, and easily beat him. Besides Jaemin, he was probably the one you were closest to.
Jeno just kept looking at his lap with evident tears denting dark spots onto his jeans. Renjun, who was sitting next to Jaemin, couldn’t take his eyes off the boy to his right, terrified that he would faint.
Jaemin felt sick. He knew he looked pale, and his head felt a bit dizzy. He tasted metallic in his mouth, and finally registered that he was biting the inside of his cheek so hard, he was drawing blood. He wanted to leave, but he was too far up on the risers to get down.
Soojin cried. It was uncharacteristic of her, but at this point she didn’t care. How had she not seen it? Was she that self centered that she had really not seen it on you? Her best friend?
Haeyong wished you had called her, wished you had told her. But why would you? She knew she didn’t deserve to hear your heartache, but she still wished.
They read out your note. Your beautiful, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching note. They read it. And the student body listened.
I float in a boat
In a raging black ocean
Low in the water
And no where to go
The tiniest lifeboat
With people I know
Cold,
Clammy and crowded
The people smell desperate
We’ll sink any minute
So someone must go
The tiniest lifeboat
With people I know
Everyone’s pushing
Everyone’s fighting
Storms are approaching, there’s no where to hide
If I say the wrong thing
Or I wear the wrong outfit
They’ll throw me right over the side
I’m hugging my knees
And the captain is pointing
Well who made her captain?
Still, the weakest must go
The tiniest lifeboat
Full of people I know
The tiniest lifeboat
Full of people I know
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Lemme know if you’d like a part two? Idk. Like I said this is purely indulgent so it’s not that good sorry :///
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imaginethathaikyuu · 3 years
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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr
What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^
Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))
What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.
Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.
What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.
What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….
Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)
Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.
Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).
Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.
Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.
Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”
so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D
- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]
- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd 
- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho 
- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333
- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!
- gotta love tsukishima <3
- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)
- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw 
- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more 
- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333
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cowboypossume · 4 years
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so i reread keeper of the lost cities and here’s my fresh input:
a note before we begin: you know how people fake throw up at things on tik tok? this book is the reason i now unironically do that.
dex and fitz really have the enemies to lovers troupe going for them and i’m ok with it. i really am.
so do sophie and biana at the beginning but it fizzes out so a better description is enimies to friends to lovers
marhella and stina give me such power top energy i cannot express how much i think that contributes to people not liking them
speaking of stina i wish sophie didn’t just immediately hop onto the bandwagon of “oh she’s evil” without investing further, especially with how much she is written as a ‘good’ person (which i can and will defend to the day i die that good people don’t exist but that’s for a different day).
there’s way too much heteronormativity and Patriarchical Ideas mushed into the book. like three hole pages of a 488 page book of teenagers being like “oooooo girls like guys and guys like girls” only for della to join in. not to mention the amount of times keefe is the reason for those ideas because he’s teasing like “oh fitz has a girlfriend”
keefe and fitz didn’t have as many bonding moments™️ in this book as i remember, but they stil know each other really well, have comfortability around each other, and would make a 10/10 best friends to lovers troupe.
oh my god s o many crushes i swear. like two teenagers of the opposite gender really can’t not like each other apperantly
i miss read a line and really thought there was cannon sexism for me to do a whole ass rant about in the notes part of my analyzation but n o p e
but we do have classism, sexist stereotypes, and the fact that there’s been SO many characters who’ve spoken and ✨🌺far too many of them are white🌺✨
oh also: no ones disabled. which annoys me because their society is described as ‘euptopic’ almost implying that it’s something that makes people problematic, which,,,, no
ok a side note on the society, i understand that the story’s message (kinda) is that things that seem perfect are probably deeply flawed, but something tergan said stuck with me. on a page i can’t remember at the moment he says something like “[the black swan exists] in a society that doesn’t have rebels”, which it suck with me bc that’s boarderline dystopic if it’s not there already. it’s one thing for laws not to be broken, but when you think your society is so perfect despite it having obvious flaws and you think that no one rebels, then i really hate to break it to you, you have a massive rebellion about to occur; it’s just scented as foul under your resplendent nose.
please stop flirting. i get its part of teenagers being teens but i swear if i read “s/he realeased a breath” or “their heart fluttered” or literally ANYTHING like that god no.
yall. i missed dex. he actually has more role in this book than ‘you can gadget and we need one’ and oh boy i really missed him. he’s a BEAN and deserves better.
hole’s said everyone deserves better and i absolutely agree so we’re adding that note here.
if you do what i did and read this book out loud to one of your best friends who has no clue anything about this weird fandom and give fitz a really deep voice for no reason it’s comdy GOLD.
i really think i’m reading too much into this point but iggy seems,,,, symbolic to me?
like ok with humans, sophie didn’t ‘fit in’, right? like she grew up hearing things like “why can’t you be normal like your sister” (which i can do a whole other rant about how that will affect her for the rest of her life just a s k)
not to mention looking really different from her family and graduating high school at age twelve 
but you know who never judged her?
m a r t y
so anyway sophie meets this teal-eyed, movie star smiled wonder boy who takes away her entire knowledge of everything she’s known while taking away her family too
and it turns out even in a place of weirdos she still manages to be the exception to everything
and she doesn’t have the comfort to hear what people are really thinking about her anymore (which as i said before say the word and i’ll deadass write a whole speech about how everything she heard will completely fuck up every relationship she has) which unfortunately means that she grew used to confirming people didn’t like her but now she doesn’t have that
she has to adapt to this new space and feel like she’s always felt, like an outcast in a place that was accepting, but yet again, she the exception to everything
but about halfway through the book she starts to become more comfortable around grady and edaline and that’s when iggy comes in
she finds him while cleaning garbage, and grady compliments her. they have a bonding moment and it’s because of this t h i n g. and then sophie actually feels proud not only does she take up a room, but she did something
and her new parents are proud of her
so she finally feels like she BELONGS because she helped out at the place where she lives/they work
to me it seems iggy is kinda a manifesto of the world building and character development that happens in this book
i think the plot/character arc is fixated a little too much on how different sophie is. like, i get it, she’s exception to everything, but the plot really didn’t need her to be that quirky. yes, she’s different, but there’s a lot more to the plot and her character than how different she is.
also, i had to reread pages a lot bc i needed an exact paragraph number and,,,, it’s really paced like a fanfic
some questions i have about the society is:
it’s established that they use books, physical papers, etc., and the only thing i remember about trees is the speech alden gave her about how she doesn’t know the name of their most popular tree, and the fact that people become trees when they die. even then i don’t think the second one is in this book. never o n c e do i remember something about planting trees that aren’t dead elf’s, so do they feel the affects of deforestation and that jazz?? like if they use trees, will they run out of them? can they??? and do they use the coffins of elf’s for paper??
this is more of a rant than a question, but here it goes anyway. in foxfire, students have a testing system very similar to the one in america: a huge test at the end of the year determines the future of a student. that in of itself doesn’t sound too drastic, right? well,,,,, not necessarily. several studies have shown that tests in general, but especially these types, don’t work. despite how good or bad of a teacher i think my past and current teachers have been, every single one of them hates this system that we have in place. they know it’s an unfair assessment that does it’s damnist to make you fail, and they’re trying so hard to denounce it. however, that doesn’t happen at all in the lost cities. in fact, most of the teachers pride themselves on failing students. so if elf’s are in such an advanced society, why do tests still exist? especially in an environment where the consequences are far greater than just staying back a grade. 
so sophie’s figuring out that major problems exist in the world the elf’s created, right? i wonder if more society structured problems exist more than ‘oh bad people do things and the law justifies which is what’. like, as i’ve previously stated, there’s sexist stereotypes presented (like girls like dresses and guys don’t), but does sexism still exist? does racism exist? it’s established that poverty isn’t a thing because of the fund elf’s have at birth and their limited usage of money (which if you understand please explain bc i don’t really get how they buy stuff but still don’t use money) but if someone gets shipped off to exile, do they lose their money? is it possible for elf’s to starve to death because they can’t afford food? do they pay for food?? if they did starve who would they call? because someone on this website, who’s post i tried to find but i couldn’t so if y’all know what i’m talking about please link it, brought up a good point that elwin is a school physician, he shouldn’t be dealing with the near-death experiences sophie has, so who would they turn to? especially if they don’t have access to foxfire because they got exciled??
is therapy a thing in this world? sophie and dex could really benefit from it, yet mental health has only been brought up when someone went insane, which REALLY shows how little they think about it.
that perfectly transitions into my next point: sophie and dex’s trauma. i really don’t get the vibe that there was much thought going into their kidnapping, other than sophie needed something to trigger her inflecting ability and establish the black swan are on the good side, which really sucks because wow trauma doesn’t happen lightly. and the fact that it happened seems rushed to me, but i’ll come back to that. but anyway, their trauma doesn’t get developed that deeply in this book because it wasn’t given the space to. they were beaten, tortured, starved, gagged, and who even knows what else for t e n d a y s, only for them to find them again, repeat the process, but someone saves them and dumps them into an illegal city and they both nearly die from dehydration, coldness, and lack of concentration, and you’re telling me after three days of conscious of bed rest sophie wants to get her failing out of school over with? ma’am, it takes more time than that to adjust to THAT alone, not to mention the realization that “hey your entire life is fake because people genetically altered you to be their weapon in a war so much bigger than yourself” that was recently dumped on her. like,,,, you really expect me to think that three days is what made her feel prepared and CONFIDENT? no sir. i don’t buy it.
coming back to it being rushed: the book starts out slow and then really hits the ground running and doesn’t stop. so much more stuff happens in the second half of the book than the first and it never gets fully developed it feels like. in the first half sophie moves away but gets a new family and struggles a bit but adapts, fires maybe but hey don’t worry about it, dex hates fitz, fitz is ✨d r e a m y ✨ but our main girl doesn’t like him like that, right?, stina’s a bitch, and sophie is a quirky girl and telepath but can’t tell anyone. pretty basic stuff, not too plot intensive. the second half though: sophie almost fails her midterms but doesn’t, grady and elaine want to unadopt her (which that’s never really explained as to why they do that but ok) fires exist in san degio but they’re fine but they’re actually a rebel elf so..., sophie accidentally breaks a law but it was an accident so it’s fine, update on the fires: sophie burns herself trying to get the evidence that it’s a rebel elf and it works, she’s the moon lark and basically a weapon bc no one knows her well enough to evaluate her safety, sophie and dex get kidnapped but fitz can now transmit to her and she has two new abilities so it’s all good, trauma doesn’t exist except for nightmare you can fix with sedatives, sophie doesn’t fail out of school, and yayyy her family doesn’t want her remove their adoption. there’s probably a lot more that i missed, it’s just that’s a LOT of stuff crammed into a little bit further than the second half of the book that really could have been devolped or explore further instead of forcing into less than 244 pages, ya know?
fitz’s eyes are mentioned seven times, the first time being on page TWO of the novel
his smile is mentioned three times
alden says “no reason to worry” five times, he writes it once, and sophie points out he says it a lot so he chances it slightly to something like ‘don’t stress about it’ so i didn’t count those though i should have
speaking of alden, in this book he’s absolutely creepy, but something that stands out to me is how much he calls sophie girl. i didn’t count it, but he said “that’s a good girl” to sophie too many times for it to be normal especially when you consider how he doesn’t do it to anyone else.
i kinda forgot i was annotating for sophie’s anxious habit of pulling out her eyelashes so i got she did it twice, but i highly doubt that number
but i will keep adding to this when i actually do the words with my annotations.
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eueden · 3 years
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 ⟨ MAUDE APATOW. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, EDEN KOPPELMAN is actually a descendent of H E S T I A. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-THREE year old VETERINARY from CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite THOUGHTFUL & QUIXOTIC.
hi, hello, allô, hola, ciao, ella here again with another character. okay so there’s not much to say about me that most of you don’t already know, i have no life and i’m always lurking even if i never do replies (don’t tell the admins) hgsghssghs anyway, this is eden and in a shocking turn of events i actually have a good idea of who she is and look i even made a graphic, if that’s ain’t dedication then i don’t what it is.
basic information.
NAME: eden atara koppelman
PRONUNCIATION: EE - d uh n
NICKNAME: E?? idk
GENDER: cis female
PLACE OF BIRTH: brisbane, queensland, australia
HOMETOWN: cape town, south africa
DATE OF BIRTH: june 26, 1997
AGE: twenty-three
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual so far but secretly curious
MAJOR: veterinary
EXTRACURRICULARS: president of the jewish student association, vice president of the herpetology club, president of the volunteer service, women in leadership member, student government member
SPORTS: captain of the climbing team and co-captain of the track & field team
character inspo.
Jessica Day (New Girl) ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖
Elliott Reid (Scrubs) ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖
Amy Santiago (Brooklyn 99) ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖
background.
tw: death, infant death, car accident, fire
Eden was born in Brisbane, Australia. She comes from an animal lover family. Her grandparents are very popular down under because they had an animal TV show à la Steve Irwin. Her dad followed their footsteps and it’s a well-known zoologist who also had some TV shows (think of Bear Grylls).
TW: death, infant death, car accident. Matthias Koppelman (her dad) had been previously married but lost his wife and child in a car accident and after that he isolated himself from the public eye and moved to Namibia. 
At twenty-eight, he felt the need to climb Mount Everest as one does, ya know? But ofc this man hadn’t climbed in years (he had experience but he’d been too sad to climb mountains. I mean he could barely leave bed, let alone climb Everest). That didn’t stop him and he did.
He almost d worded there bc as I said he was not ready but that’s when Hestia queen of fire showed up and warmed him (in a non sexual way bc she’s pure okay) and he was like oh that was a near dead experience and didn’t think much.
After he conquered the Everest with the help of Hestia, he moved back to Australia and oh surprise a few months later he opened his door and voilá a bebé was there with a note that said “you deserve to have a family, love hestia” 
He was shocked like “did i just impregnate a fantasy?”  but then Hestia was kind enough to send another and explain everything.
Anyway, Eden lived in Brisbane for four years before her dad took a job in South Africa. They moved to Cape Town (and her grandparents came with them) and pretty much had a happy life surrounded by animals. 
TW: fire. When she was nine, her dad took her to a game reserve in Limpopo and by some reason a fire started endangering animals and flora. Everyone was panicking bc I mean wouldn’t u? But Eden was attracted to the flames like a pyro (the good kind tho) and since everyone had better things to do than taking care of a child, they left her unsupervised and she delved into the fire.
Ofc nothing happened to her because ✨immunity✨ but guess who showed up again? Hestia!!!! Being a great goddess and mom, she taught Eden how to use her powers so she could absorb the fire and save all the animals and people. 
Everyone was like holy shit a miracle and the firefighters were like “the fuck? we did shit but we gonna take the credit lol”
Eden was like “did that just happen?” and yes, it did but she was like “meh that was imagination” and her dad was like *nervous chuckle* “yeah…” because he didn’t want to tell her the truth since that could put her in danger.
At 13, she had her bat mitzvah and it was all fun and games until fire lady showed up aka Hestia. Her dad and Hestia explained everything and Eden was like: 
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Hestia claimed her and off to camp she went. For the next few years she went to camps all over the world as a treat.
She never went on a quest bc she was afraid and also because she couldn’t put herself in danger and risk losing her life bc her dad already had lost a child… so yeah
Her dad remarried when she was seventeen and a year later she welcomed a new baby brother and that’s why she decided to take a gap year to be with her bro and also work with her dad in the reserves.
She moved to Athens when she was nineteen and decided to go into veterinary school. So yes Ella will get her dog one way or another idc what the admins say :chaos:
Ahhhh that’s all folks!!! We did it!
FULL BIO (yes, i completed it this time)
personality.
Eden never loses her sense of curiosity. You could say that she sees life through rose colored glasses as if she lived on the edge of a mirror country where worldly objects come to life, where flora and fauna assume almost human qualities.  
She has the ability to see the good in almost anyone or anything and tends to sympathize with even the most unfriendly person. She often hides the extreme depth of feelings from her, even from herself, until circumstances elicit a passionate response. 
She has a deep sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. She sees the world as a place full of possibilities and potentials and is governed by her intuition. She is quite reserved and is not easily manipulated. 
She is a good listener and considerate, they try to care for and understand others in a deep way. She can be very calm and intuitive with the people around her, being able to search for hidden meanings in the actions and words of others.
Of course, all of life is not rosy and Eden is not exempt from suffering the same disappointments and frustrations that are common to others. She tends to be a perfectionist and often strives for personal ideals that can be exhausting or very difficult to obtain.
She also struggles with time management, always leaving everything to the last minute claiming she “works better under pressure” but the truth is she’s just a procrastinator. 
Very sensible, she cries almost every day either because of a commercial or a sweet story she read on Facebook. It doesn’t matter, if it’s slightly emotional she will shed some tears.
powers.
pyrokinesis: This power first manifested when she was nine years old and she helped to save an animal reserve from the flames with the help of Hestia. Since she was claimed when she was thirteen, she’s learned how to use this power. Now she can summon fire without any problem and put it out just as fast. This is very helpful because she loves baking but she’s a bit clumsy so she often burns herself, but thankfully, she’s immune, so no pain. However, Eden has never been able to create a hot wall of flames nor she has ever asked how to do that, she just hopes she never has to use it.
serenity inducement: Eden avoids conflict at all cost, not only it makes her cry but also makes her very uncomfortable and anxious which is why this was the first power she manifested. She was just a child but from what she remembers it was during a class in preschool that a kid started hitting another one. Eden panicked at such an act of violence she went there and touched the bully’s shoulder which immediately calmed him. Back then she didn’t know it was a power but after finding out about her true identity, many other events like this started to make sense. This is the power she uses the most, also with animals which is why she makes such a good veterinarian because she can calm an animal's nerves.
bond manipulation: She wouldn’t say this is one of her weakest powers but it’s one she didn’t use often growing up because she came from such a stable family that it didn’t seem necessary, however, she sometimes catches herself using it in group projects or at her workplace, you know, to keep things healthy and positive.
ability to summon food: By far the one she uses the least (personally speaking), she likes cooking and baking, so she doesn’t see the point but she does use it to feed stray animals.
headcanons.
Eden speaks fluent English, she has a mixed South African and Australian accent but she can switch. At school, half of her classes were in Afrikaans, so she also speaks it fluently. Greek comes from her demigod side, but she also took some classes back in school upon her father’s request. Growing up in a very Jewish family, her grandparents believed it was pretty important that Eden learned Yiddish and Hebrew, she can read it perfectly but struggles speaking it, especially Yiddish because she also attended Hebrew school. As for French, she learned in high school and she still takes lessons at Eonia but she hates it.
Her father started taking her to a climbing gym when she was five and by the time she was ten she was already climbing 6a routes which is pretty much an intermediate level and very impressive for her age. 
She had her own TV show on Discover Kids titled “Eden’s Wildlife Adventure” in which she explained the importance of different types of animals. The first seasons were shot between Australia and South Africa, but in later seasons she traveled across Africa and South America. The show ran from 2005-2011 (which was when she was claimed).
Dreams of climbing Mount Everest before her 30th birthday.
Her father is a classic rock band and so is she. Her animals have been named after influential musicians. Right now she has a cat named Hendrix, a horse named Cobain, a dog named Mick. Growing up her father took care of a baby lion which they named Little Richard because he was smaller than most lion cubs. Over the years, his father and grandparents have fostered several wild animals while they recover or before they are sent to a reserve. Among the animals they have fostered are elephants, giraffes, zebras, cheetahs, leopards, hippos and more.
While she loves rock, she’s also a sucker for 2000s pop. Please don’t ask her about modern artists because she’s clueless. 
She’s fed up with the Mean Girl jokes, we get it she grew up in Africa and she’s white.
She is a proud Jewish girl and follows many traditions. She does attend the local synagogue during Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah. And of course, Hanukkah is her favorite holiday. Her family practices Reform Judaism, so she doesn’t follow a kosher diet.
Eden was raised as a vegan and her whole family is vegan. In the past years, she has been in the process of becoming vegetarian.
Favorites: Anything written by Agatha Christie(book); Say Anything (1989) (movie); Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fear (song); 
Again, no one asked me but I will reply: “Ella, does Eden hate Iker?” “Well, thanks for asking. In a shocking turn of events, no she doesn’t. How come you might ask? Well, she doesn’t hate anyone but if she ever did then yes, she would hate him.”
pinterest | wanted connections
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shawneesmith · 4 years
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tell us about your ocs.... what is the protagonist like? whats their best friend like? (if they have one)
SCREAM this got long
the name of the protagonist is mara banks. she is the daughter of arthur and donna banks, who were, from the 1970s to the 1990s, a hollywood power couple. they acted a lot, arthur had a popular cowboy show and donna was known as a cult classic darling. they’re super cute (even though arthur had an affair and donna had a drinking problem) and they got married. they had a daughter named natasha and a daughter named mara
natasha didn’t get into the industry, but mara did. she had a few film roles and a golden globe-nominated role on a full house-esque show. she was a hollywood darling at age 10, everyone loved her bc she was sassy and cute and talented
when mara was 12, arthur and donna were killed in a car accident. she and her sister went onto live with different guardians, but mara got out of control (she already had some issues, and she felt suddenly totally alone in the world). she started staying out late and getting involved with sketchy men. by the time she was 15 she’d dyed her hair blue and was photographed doing drugs and she was dropped from all her upcoming film and tv projects
she does have a best friend! but he is a character who is written by a friend of mine and i don’t wanna put them on blast so i will talk about someone else who is extremely important to mara
his name is jack douglas. an absolute rat man, who i love. jack is a middle child (and it shows!); his parents fought a lot growing up, and when he was 14 or so, his dad finally left his mom. jack was left to help his mother and his siblings, picking up the pieces and becoming the man of the house. for ~escapism he’d watch reruns of this old cowboy show (starring none other than arthur banks!) and imagine himself as a cowboy :)
when he was in high school he met this girl named caroline (who is also important but not relevant). they fell in love and were high school sweethearts; as they grew up she realized she wanted to be an actress. he told her he’d be her manager, bc he was always interested in show business. they moved out to college together, they got married, and as soon as they graduated he started working on getting her auditions
caroline became very mildly successful, and as soon as she did, jack panicked. he felt insecure and threatened and jealous (jack is not a good person, which will become very clear soon). he divorced caroline, who was heartbroken but moved on and made her own way in the world
soon after, jack was at a bar and saw a 16 y/o mara banks take a seat beside him. he was a little surprised bc that was the daughter of his childhood hero! he chatted her up and was surprised at her seemingly mature worldview (although she was really just an edgy teenager). they got along very well, and he asked her if she was managed by anyone. she wasn’t, after a long string of controversies, so they made a deal for jack to act as her manager
jack, if you remember, has rancid vibes, and was relying on mara to make him successful, planning on manipulating her back into the superstar she once was, even though by now she was traumatized and rebellious, and she was planning on manipulating him just the same!
flash-forward to ten years later, mara is 28 and jack 36, they’ve lived together in a los angeles apartment for a while. they have a weird relationship. they have a lot of sex, mostly bc they’re each other’s last resorts, she’s had his abortion (which he kinda pressured her into), they are technically psychologically (and like, once a year, physically) abusive with each other. there’s no easy way to sum up their relationship. they cannot live without each other. they have their own silent language. yes they hate each other yes they think they’re better than the other when they’re not at all yes mara will crawl into jack’s bed when she’s hungover and she has no one else <3 they’d be a power couple if they didn’t hate each other so much. they’re kinda cute bc jack will come home and let mara crash on her drugs and slump against his chest but then the next day he’ll remind her that she will always end up alone bc she sabotages everything good in her life (the irony here is that the exact same thing is true of jack)
in main verse, mara is a disgraced child actress, who is only remembered by like. 3% of america. she’s gotten into a lot of trouble. she’s had sex tapes of hers leaked. she’s leaked other people’s sex tapes in an attempt to feel superior. she does a lot of drugs and drinks heavily and sleeps around a lot. she’s the type to be #cancelled bc she said something homophobic on twitter in 2010 (although not many people at all pay attention to her now so). she misses the limelight but she’s too paranoid and impulsive and controversial to become a Real Actress again. she’s a LOT of fun and kinda stupid. she misses her parents a lot and falls in love easily and is Baby but also kinda sociopathic. she has been complicit in a hit and run and if you ever tweeted “remember mara banks? she was so adorable” someone would reply “she’s actually problematic”
jack is still her manager but you wouldn’t know it bc she rarely acts anymore! he feels dragged down by her, but he also stays bc he has a regretful sentimental streak he’s never been able to shake. he’s always torn between being cold and efficient enough for hollywood and being someone who just wants a real family and friendship. sometimes he wants to cut mara off and leave her and sometimes he knows she’s the only person in the world who understands him (and he understands her perfectly, like no one else). he also drinks heavily and enjoys gambling and being a whore. he is a SNAKE but also not quite snakey enough to abandon mara. 
also just for fun it’s important that you know that mara’s animal motif is a hyena; she’s a lil crazy and misunderstood and always pecking for scraps <3 i love her
tl;dr; mara and jack are problematic faves. bicons. evil sons of bitches who want love and fame but don’t deserve it
also just for fun here’s mara’s pinterest board and jack’s pinterest board and the mara/jack board
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becksfm · 4 years
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hey CASEY “BECK” BECKHAM , welcome to dillon university . has anyone ever told you you’re GAVIN LEATHERWOOD’s twin ? no ? well okay , i heard you are TWENTY - TWO & a JUNIOR at the university . we hope BIOCHEMISTRY isn’t kicking your ass too much , especially since you’re a STUDENT PHYSICAL TRAINER . see you at the next game, BECK & character’s cismale + he/him . 
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it’s me & i’m here for round fuckin’ two , friends . this time i bring you resident GOLDEN BOY . . . a whole 6′1 of soft boy energy . . . floppy overgrown curls . . . king of talking - your - way - out - of - everything . . . retired hockey player . . . a man of Many Talents , of which the most astounding is his ability to look like he’s got it all together when , in fact , he does not ! under the cut , you’ll find a lil more about him . . . & if you wanna plot hmu @ 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣#9956 on discord or pop into my ims here !! 
𝑩 𝑨 𝑪 𝑲 𝑮 𝑹 𝑶 𝑼 𝑵 𝑫 .
dillon , texas born & raised . on the outskirts of town is a ranch that is enough to house the beckham family: mom, dad, and all eight beckham children . beck is the second oldest , with one older sister , four younger sisters , and two younger brothers . . . not necessarily in that order . 
mother , sophia mattheson - beckham is a lawyer based in austin working with the ACLU , and father , michael beckham has a small private practice in dillon working as a pediatrician . they weren’t home often , but when they were , they spent as much time with the kiddos as possible . it’s just . . . they were so rarely home that it really didn’t matter. 
with the beckham name, though, comes the pressure to be SOMETHING GREAT , and that’s something that’s been a part of beck’s life since . . . he can remember . little league & kindergarten grades were always taken a little too seriously , and it didn’t help that his older sister was a shining example of perfection . 
growing up it was hard not to like him. he was quiet for the most part , but goofy when he wasn’t . there was a little extra charm about him that just gave him an all around magnetic pull . kids wanted to be his friend and he wanted to be theirs . he fit in , but around home , he was the odd man out . beck was always a little more interested in sports rather than math or music rather than reading . it wasn’t to say he wasn’t smart , it just kind of –– bored him?? where his family was v
there was give and take with beck–– the golden boy of dillon but the black sheep of the family . he could play hockey if he kept his grades up. he could take guitar if he was also on student government and model u.n.. his parents would applaud him on his grades but never cared to hear him play; they’d show up for debates but rarely ever saw a hockey game. it was touch and go, his relationship with them, and it still is.
DESPITE IT ALL though, you wouldn’t catch him complaining. he bore the crown of homecoming king his senior year and never went to a dance without a date. teachers loved him, so did his coaches. he found a best friend in one cameron sloane –– ( because of course he did ) –– when the sloanes moved to dillon , and they were an unstoppable kind’a duo on and off the ice.
when it came time to pick a college, he really . . . had his pick of the lot. coulda gone anywhere, but there were roughly six reasons , all with the same last name , that kept him close to home. his parents even agreed that if he went in as pre-med, they would pay for the whole thing . . . and even make time to watch him play hockey. 
things were good for a long while, until they weren’t. you can usually see the stars on the outskirts of dillon, but one night, his sophomore year, you couldn’t. storm clouds covered ‘em up, and he tried his damndest to get cameron to stick around a celebratory party until it passed, but sloanes are stubborn and there was no changing his mind. 
cam passing away was like losing a brother, and he spent countless hours pacing in a hospital waiting room . . . hoping for good news and never getting it. beck had never known loss like that, and it knocked him into a bit of a tailspin . he quit hockey and didn’t register for school the next year . he spent a lot of time at a family residence in austin and even more time drinking . for the most part . . . he kind of DISAPPEARED , losing himself in the process for a good nine months.
they say it takes a village to raise a kid, and it took a village to drag this one out of a spiral. his parents. his siblings. his friends. and eventually . . .  dillon’s football coaching staff. a loud knock on the door from coach buchanan and a swift kick in the ass from coach sloane, a man who knew the kid almost as well as he’d known his own son. come work for us, they told him . . . and it was a way to get him back on track under a watchful eye that. wasn’t quite as critical as his parents
so that’s where we are now . . . back at dillon, a year behind, and working with both the football and cheerleading team as a physical trainer, playing a heavy hand in making sure both teams are the best conditioned in the state of texas. his grades are looking up, and he’s still on the fast track for med school, much to his –– and his parents’s –– surprise. 
the beckhams don’t talk about his little stint of a spiral. no one in dillon does . . . unless in tones of hushed whispers alongside judgmental looks. beck doesn’t mind it too much ,though . . . even takes it as a challenge 
𝑷 𝑬 𝑹 𝑺 𝑶 𝑵 𝑨 𝑳 𝑰 𝑻 𝒀 . ( i’m getting tired so this gon be ugly )
you want inspo?? i’ll give ya inspo!! richard campbell gansey the third ( dick 3 babiiiie ) is my main inspo for beck. you’ll also find a lil bit of jim halpert, a lil bit of rob maclanahan from miracle ( even tho he w as a real person too shhh ), and *insert big eyed emoji here* grizz from the society 
ever since he can remember, there’s been pressure on this kid to be something great . . . so he feels like if he has the capability to do something, he has to do it. . . there’s no choice in the matter. a lot of this stems. from his parents, but he’s also really just . . . overly critical of himself sometimes
boy is a fucking PARADOX okay bc sometimes . . . . with the way he talks. . . . he accidentally puts his damn foot in his mouth . he’s smart so occasionally comes off as condescending , but he’s . . . incredible in conversation with people he needs to impress because he’s hella charming
that said... this quote is REALLY important and REALLY summative of beck: “Gansey had always felt as if there were two of him: the Gansey who was in control, able to handle any situation, able to talk to anyone, and then, the other, more fragile Gansey, strung out and unsure, embarrassingly earnest, driven by naive longing.” –– let’s dive into that!! when he feels like he’s got a sense of control of the things around him, when he’s in his element or in his comfort zone, when he’s feeling confident , the boy is a force. he can talk you and anyone else out of any situation, and he has. he can make friends with anyone put in front of him, and he has. when beck is ON . . . he is on . . . but it’s a bit surface level because when he’s not wearing the crown of GOLDEN BOY and he’s . . . vulnerable . . . or unsure . . . or stressed . . . he tends to put that foot of his in his mouth and spit. out whatever it is he’s thinking. he’s honest to a fault in this sense, and he’s hopeful beyond compare. 
an introvert. . . . can CHARM u but doesn’t want to because honestly that is so draining and he’d much rather be at home. the popular type but only has a few friends that are really really close to him
loyal to a fault . . . will give you 392847 chances that you don’t deserve .. fool me once shame on you ! fool me twice shame on me! fool me three time what the fuck bro now ur just taking advantage of me 
very . .. calm and even tempered.  he’s a mediating type and like . . would rather find a conflict resolution than sWING u feel me
he’s cute.  .. . and. people love him but .  . . despite it all, he really doesn’t let that go to his head?? the boy was raised to believe you had to earn things and he’s just. idk . . .. humble king
eloquent as fuck ( lol good luck @ me writing that shit )
quick witted and very sharp
probably a lawful good type ngl :\
Does Not Do Well.With Change. when his older sister left dillon to go to notre dame??? boy damn near blew a gasket how dARE SHE go that far away!!! 
v close with his sibs . .. . activate Dad Mode. he loves all of them equally and definitely does not at all favor the 10 y/o baby brother of the family or his sister closest in age, who is also a student at dillon. doesn’t favor them ONE BIT 
u want a vibe for the beckhams??? “ the beckhams were courtiers and kings . when there was no castle to invite them, they built one” ( we stan ONE weird author lady named maggie)
insomnia!! the boy nEVER SLEEPS1! always thinking. always planning what’s next. gotta go gotta go gotta go.
kind of .. . a hopeless romantic :\ dated the same girl for most of high school but when she fucked off to ole miss she broke up with him in a text. so that .. . . . .. went well for him ..... still a dumb bitch tho and would love to hold ur hand
wire rimmed glasses, wool sweaters, light colored hoodies, distressed denim, cuffed pants, :\ chelsea boots :\
phobia of bees. there’s literally no reason for this other than my own, personal, geeked out pleasure
prank king
Smart Jock Type
plays guitar to relieve stress and you bet baby’s got some pipes here u go 
literally nothing like nicholas scratch DO NOT call him daddy
tall and doesn’t know what to do with all the extra limb like .  . . . . the fuck
will push you to your personal best in any conditioning circumstance
okay I THINK THAT’S ALL . . .. i’m a big fan of basic plots that kinda ebb and flow with chemistry BUT!! gimme the basics man . . . a roommate . . . a past hookup or two . . . some spicy friendships or . . . fRENEMIES even u know the drill
ok that’s all i hope u love him bc i am v nervous about playing A Man buT IT IS WHAT IT IS U KNOW
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thedeaditeslayer · 4 years
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Running Time Restored Interview: 1997 Josh Becker and Bruce Campbell Indie Gets a New Life in 2K.
You can read the full interview on the upcoming release With Josh Becker, Bruce Campbell, and Don May Jr. from Diabolik Magazine below. 
In 1995 on New Year’s Eve, Josh Becker had an idea. Born out of a session pondering Alfred Hitchcock’s legendary, true crime classic, Rope, he decided that he was going to improve upon the master of suspense’s legendary concept of shooting a film in real time. A daunting task but Becker was up to the challenge.
What resulted was perhaps one of the most ambitious efforts to ever grace the silver screen, Running Time. This neo-noir thriller about a heist gone wrong and a small-time criminal who rekindles his love affair with his high-school sweetheart was a hidden gem that didn’t get the recognition that it deserved. Written expressly for Becker’s childhood friend and Super 8 cohort, Bruce Campbell, the pair were once again, doing gonzo-style filmmaking just like when they were growing up in Michigan with the likes of Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert.
Josh Becker was and is an adventurous soul who does things his way, just like the director gods of old. When I think of his work, the names of John Ford, William Wyler and John Huston readily spring to mind. There is something admirable about his driven determination that was the heart and soul of this black and white throwback to another era which is ultimately endearing. Yes, I have a special place in my heart for Running Time because it is honest and not filled with “tentpole” tendencies. At the core of it is the written word. The end result is one of the most overlooked masterpieces of both Becker’s and Campbell’s careers.
What is truly amazing is that this flick was shot in two weeks and that everyone went home early. It was like having a 9 to 5 job. No 18-hour-days, just fast, efficient, run and gun style filmmaking that resulted in a production that could stand toe to toe with noir classics from a bygone era like The Petrified Forest and Desperate Hours.
Prior to Running Time, Bruce was known predominantly for his work in the horror and science fiction genres which can sometimes be limiting for an actor. Becker gave him an incredible script to work with that really showcased his range as a thespian. Behind the smart-ass quips and bravado lies a talented individual who takes his craft seriously. He is capable of creating complex characters and he is most assuredly fit to be a romantic lead.
I had the chance to sit down with the major players in the restoration of Running Time (Josh Becker, Bruce Campbell, Don May, Jr. and Gerry Kissell) to reminisce about the journey of this film from its humble beginnings to preserving this indie classic for future generations.
The Director and His Muse
Diabolique: Bruce, I have to start off by telling you that Running Time is my favorite out of all of your films.  
Bruce Campbell: It’s a cool, little flick. Too bad it sort of escaped, it wasn’t released as the old joke goes.
Diabolique: What I like so much about it is the neo-noir aspect. It’s a throwback to the 40’s and 50’s. In Josh’s book, Rushes, he talks about how he convinced you to be in the film. You weren’t getting paid and you invested in it. What was his pitch, how did he sell the concept to you?
BC: The pitch was that it was NOT McHale’s Navy. I just spent 11 weeks in Mexico just sort of bullshitting our way through that film where we would make up our lines of dialogue because there was nothing written for us. In the script it would say things like, “McHale and his guys get off the boat,” “McHale and his men go to Cuba.” Which means they hadn’t thought anything up for you. I did it because I liked the show as a kid. It was a very popular thing; it was from Universal. It made sense at the time. It was just a case of when something is underwritten, the problem that it causes actors. I had just come off of that, and Running Time was very ambitious, low budget it was meant to be this conceit of being done in one shot so it was cinematic. So, I was like, okay, yeah. It was like the anti-studio movie, small crew, fast moving and yet no money. Basically, I invested the money that I was paid back into the movie in order for them to make it. It was definitely for a love of the movie type deal.
Josh Becker: I’ve known Bruce since we were twelve and I’d seen him in a number of plays. I knew that he had a much bigger range as an actor than he’d had a chance to show at that point. Plus, he’s a pleasure to work with. Once I pitched him the idea, he was all for it, partially because the long takes are a way for an actor to really show their ability.
Diabolique: Thinking about your filmography, Bruce, you haven’t played a traditional romantic lead. Do you see Running Time as a love story of sorts?
BC: What’s funny is Josh had Carl come back. In a proper film noir, he would have gone, you would have heard the tires squeal and she would be sitting there crying and the credits would roll and that would be it. It would be bleak, but Josh deep down is a sentimentalist and I think I am too. We had no issue with the happy ending. We wanted to make the audiences think for quite a long period of time that it’s going to be a sad ending. She packs her bag and then she unpacks it. The whole thing is quite an extended piece but I thought it was well worth playing just to kind of throw a little wrinkle in it. Maybe even in a criminal story you can have a happy ending.
Diabolique: In terms of the storyline, Josh, we all know that Rope was the blueprint for Running Time. You hadn’t made a film in 7 years. What was it about that production that captured your imagination besides the challenge of the “long take”?
JB: Part of my inspiration was simply getting another feature film made after seven years of working in television, which was never my goal.  But as I thought about Rope, I wondered why the continuous, real-time concept didn’t really have any impact on the story. Then it occurred to me that there was no time element involved.  Two young men—ostensibly Leopold and Loeb—have killed another young man for the fun of it, put the body in a chest, then invited people over for a party, including a cop. Well, if the chest was spring loaded and had a timer on it so that at some point it would pop open and reveal the corpse, that would be a time element. So, I thought, how do you use the real time technique and add a ticking clock? The first story that came to mind was a heist which generally has a time element—we’ve got to get the money and get out of here before we’re caught.
Diabolique: Running Time was shot in sequence like a play. Did it pose any challenges for you as an actor?
BC: I liked what Josh was trying to do. These long uninterrupted takes from an actor’s point of view, you know stuff can get really choppy these days. My complaint from Burn Notice is they wouldn’t let a full sentence stay on camera; they would have to cut away to somebody else. It felt like they had to keep cutting, cutting and cutting. This movie was no cutting for like ten minutes at a time. It’s great from an actor’s perspective because you can feel the juices flowing. It’s like a play. You can work on the pacing; you can have something build over a period of time and minutes to play out in literally real time. It’s a real time crime drama. I liked it conceptually and it was challenging. There was a fair amount of dialogue because my guy, Carl is calling the shots. I thought it was a good premise. Guy gets out of prison turns right around and robs the prison because he knows how the prison laundry system works. I thought that was pretty sound. I am always sympathetic for the low budget independent movie. I always will be.
Diabolique: Were there any other films that influenced you and your writing partner, Peter Choi? The entire concept is very noir and the desperate situation that Carl finds himself in is reminiscent of any number of films from the 1940s.
JB: My main inspiration was Straight Time with Dustin Hoffman, an overlooked movie from 1978. And though I didn’t think of it at the time, several folks brought up Joseph Lewis’s Gun Crazy after it came out, and I do see that. The film has one long take in it during a bank robbery, and even though the camera stays in the backseat of a car, it has that same feeling of a real time event.
Diabolique: I know you are a fan of classic movies, Bruce and in a sense Running Time reminds me of Desperate Hours or The Petrified Forest especially when the robbery is botched and the situation is escalating in the enclosed office. Did you find any inspiration from the noir genre for your portrayal of Carl?
BC: No, but the classic tough guys were always awesome. We loved them all, Bogart and Robert Mitchum…the fact that Josh shot the film in black and white was perfect. Because it really helped lend itself to a look of that time period when Jack Palance was a leading man.
Diabolique: In your book Rushes, you talked about your decision to shoot in 16 mm Kodak ASA 64 black and white stock. You get sharper images due to the finer grain of the film, but did that pose any problems in terms of showcasing your work at that time since most people weren’t shooting in black and white?
JB:  I didn’t think of it regarding showcasing my work. I thought it was appropriate for the subject matter and that it would be visually striking.  Also, moving the camera from inside to outside in color posed the problem of adding or removing filters which would not be an issue with black and white.
Diabolique: You shot over a period of 10 days which was unheard of even back in the 90’s. How were you able to keep things moving along?
JB: It was based on pre-planning. I knew exactly what I wanted. We rehearsed the film and the actors were all very comfortable with the dialogue. Then it was just an issue of getting the complicated camera moves in regard to the actor’s blocking to work right, and that didn’t turn out to be all that difficult.
Diabolique: As an actor, did you enjoy working on an accelerated timetable?
BC: It was exciting to do and so different. The toughest thing was the technical demands. It wasn’t like there were explosions and stuff like that. But in order to do blocking inside of an apartment, the camera is moving in circles, well, the crew had to move every object behind the camera before it got there and then had to put it back before the camera saw it again. So, there was a lot of voodoo, a lot of magic. We would rehearse and rehearse and rehearse and we could never get it right. Finally, we were like fuck it. Let’s just start shooting because everyone gets a little more alert when you shoot. That did it. That allowed us to conquer the impossible. After 3 or 4 takes if we got it, we were done even if it was 10:30 in the morning. I don’t think we spent more than two thirds of a day getting that particular shot. The end result is cool. I’ve seen the cleaned-up version without all the scratches and the dust marks. You can’t even tell what year it is. It almost seems like its videotape transferred like those teledramas of the 60’s that were done on TV. There were moments in the film that weren’t perfect, and that’s okay.
Diabolique: When I revisited Running Time recently, I was impressed with how well it holds up because some efforts don’t. With the 2K restoration, Bruce, this will give your fans a chance to see it. For some, it might be their first time. Do you have a scene that you are particularly fond of?
BC: There’s some scenes that are fun to do. After I get shot, I am in Janie’s apartment and she’s trying to put me together, that fainting on the toilet while she’s trying to patch me together it felt kind of real, playing shot and being delirious. Stuff like that. Just fun to be able to take the moment to do it.
Diabolique: Josh, do you feel shooting in black and white made the 2K restoration more challenging?
JB:  Slow speed black and white film stock has a lot of silver in it which creates an inordinate amount of static electricity. When I did the initial film transfer back in 1997, the negative kept getting covered with dust, causing us to have to stop and clean the film every 30-60 minutes. Since the transfer was $375 an hour—in 1997 dollars—I could only stop so many times before it became financially prohibitive.  Dust on a black and white negative shows up as white dots. Using the newest technology, Don May was able to remove all of the dust digitally. Therefore, the film has never looked as good as it does now.
Diabolique: What excites you the most about Running Time getting restored, Bruce?
BC: I am always happy when something gets re-released which means in this case, it gets preserved. It will look fantastic in 2K. That’s why with all these reissues fans are like, “Why should we care?” Like well, if you care about preservation, this means it will be the latest version of a movie that is fairly obscure. Sometimes a movie can die on the vine because no one will pay the money to keep it current. Now, we can show the sucker, hopefully, anywhere.
Diabolique: Josh, do you have any plans to showcase Running Time once the restoration is completed? This is a great film that fans should definitely see.
JB: We have no plans at the moment, but then the film isn’t out yet. When it’s done, we’ll see what happens.
Breathing New Life into Running Time: The Art of Restoration
Don May, Jr. along with Jerry Chandler and Charles Fiedler created Synapse Films in 1997. Known for their work in preserving unique genre classics, May had previously collaborated with Josh Becker when his company restored the director’s 1985 production, Thou Shalt Not Kill…Except.
Gerry Kissell was the official artist on Running Time and will be reprising his role for the 2K restoration. He has been friends with Josh since the Freaky Film Festival where he and Bruce premiered the film on the University of Illinois campus.
Both gentlemen were kind enough to take time out of their busy schedules to talk to us.
Diabolique: Were you able to obtain the original negative for Running Time?
Don May, Jr: Yes, thankfully. Josh Becker is a true movie fan and loves the filmmaking process, so we were fortunate to work with him. He kept everything stored properly in a climate-controlled vault, as a man who cares about his movies should.
Diabolique: Can you talk about the scanning process for 2K?
DMJ: The 16mm negative was separated into A/B rolls, so we had to scan a lot of reels separately at Prasad in Burbank, CA. Luckily, because of the actual nature of the “one-take” aesthetic Josh utilized, there were only a total of about 30 cuts in the entire film… hidden in editing, of course. So, we basically scanned the 30 separate shots, and then assembled them digitally using DaVinci Resolve. We had to be VERY careful the way we put the 30 cuts back together, making sure the shots were frame accurate and of the proper length. Unlike a film that has a conformed negative separated into 10- or 20-minute reels, Running Time was all in separate pieces, with each shot edited on separate reels. It was a challenge, but we were able to use a previous master as a reference and most of it went together without a hitch. Being shot in B&W also helped in color correction to hide the edits properly to make the real-time aspect as seamless as possible. Once the film was properly assembled, we were able to ship everything off to India for restoration. Because Josh had everything stored properly for decades, the negative itself was fairly free of a lot of dirt and scratches, but we did carefully sonically clean all the pieces before scanning commenced.
Diabolique: How long does it take the digital artists to fix debris or scratches on the original negatives?
DMJ: There’s a lot of data wrangling involved. Copying data for safety. Making backups, etc. But we have a great working relationship with Prasad. They have worked on such classics as Lawrence of Arabia, How the West Was Won, A Fistful of Dollars, Gandhi, The Red Shoes, etc. They do the lion’s share of my output, and I put a lot of trust in them. They’ve never failed me. We do ship the film scans to India and that takes time. I think Running Time took about 4-5 months. I let them take their time, though, because I don’t want to have to keep sending things back for fixes. With Running Time, they did an excellent job, right from my first restoration test reels. But, again, Josh had taken very good care of his materials, so it wasn’t much of a challenge.
Diabolique: Gerry, what artwork did you originally provide for Running Time and what can we expect from you for the 2K restoration?
Gerry Kissell: I did promotional art that ended up on tee-shirts. It included the shot of the three main characters, which I called Tres Hombres, on one, Jeremy Roberts aiming the pistol at the camera on another, and the last, which you’ve seen of Bruce’s mug all heroic and chinny. All of the art was done on Bristol cold press illustration board. The new painting for the Synapse release is me, 20+ years later, a tad bit better at drawing and painting, lol.
Diabolique: Besides the idea of preserving Running Time, Don, what attracted you to the project?
DMJ: We had worked previously with Josh on Thou Shalt Not Kill…Except, and we had a lot of fun with that one. I like working with Josh. He’s a great guy, and I love that he’s so passionate about film. He loves movies, and he loves MAKING movies. It’s so great to see people like Josh doing things like Running Time, back when using computers to do a “one take” approach was non-existent. You see things today like the film 1917, which is a fine film in its own right, but they cheated a lot of its “one take” aspect using computers. Josh did Running Time, but used his brain, and actual organic film splicing and editing to achieve the same result. He’s smart, funny, talented and I love working with people like him. It also doesn’t hurt that Running Time stars Bruce Campbell, so… yeah… of course, we jumped at the chance to do it.
Diabolique: When can fans expect to see the Running Time 2K restoration?
DMJ: I would imagine late summer/early fall 2020. We’re wrapping up extras and artwork now.
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lcyalty · 4 years
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i don’t feel like making a joke to break the ice so here’s one of my favorite tiktoks: https://vm.tiktok.com/s1rSS5/ . anyways, hiii, fed admin sabrina here :) time to check off the introductory personality checklist: i’m 20, a leo, a slytherin, a woc, a pre-law major on the east coast, uhhhh harry styles and marvel trash, i play over 10 instruments, i prefer the thigh over the chicken breast, and i’m really happy u all r here and joined my little creation :’) smack that read more to learn abt my children daisy moretti and jude valentine so we can plot !!
                                                             DAISY MORETTI.                                                  pinterest: https://pin.it/7unKPi8                                                                     the basics: full name: daisy mia moretti | hometown: the bronx, new york | zodiac: aries | orientation: bisexual | employment status: intern on the news broadcasts floor | positive traits: social, determined, hardworking, attentive, confident, smart | negative traits: rude, irresponsible, cunning, cutthroat, insensitive, selfish
the backstory:
here’s the best way i can describe daisy: take the love for fashion and luxury of carrie bradshaw and cher horowitz, mix it with the power and intensity of olivia pope, and add in all the meanness of every single rude, b*tchy person you can think of. that’s her.
daisy was born to a huge italian family who all had odd jobs; her dad specialized in fixing the batteries on smoke detectors. her mom ran the laundromat down the street. a lot of her uncles owned car detailing businesses and she had a couple of older cousins who were janitors or low-level staff members at the local middle schools. while her family was fine with this, because hey, it paid the bills, daisy, who had always had expensive tastes from the start, turned her nose at it all.
she, unsurprisingly, became the first in her family to make it past high school. daisy did absolutely every major, resume-boosting thing while she was in school, because she learned very quickly that she liked power and being better than others. there was something she loved about coming home from school and getting to brag about her debate team win while her cousins could only nod. 
she was great at school, and she made sure everyone knew. she did mock trial, debate, sga -- she even joined the environmental club just for the clout. and then one of the people in her model un group said she should run for president one day.
it made sense. daisy likes power, she likes bossing people around and always being right, and she doesn’t take shit from anyone. she’d be a fantastic fucking president. so, naturally, after finishing college and pushing through an internship she didn’t really like just so she could have another bullet point on her resume, daisy applied for an internship at masters international. she knew she’d get the gig, obviously.
daisy loves fashion and luxury. she spends majority of her money on vintage chanel tweed matching sets to wear into the office, she has red bottoms that give her four extra inches of height, and her foundation costs over a hundred dollars. you’d think she’d want to be on the floors that deal with vogue and help organize new york fashion week, but that’s not going to get her a presidency, duh. daisy interns on the floors that handle the news broadcasts so she gets firsthand knowledge on all the shit, political or otherwise, that goes down in the country.
i would love to type more but i don’t want to hint at anything that points to her secret, so i’m going to explain a little more about daisy’s personality
she’s so, so controlling and bossy. she wants to be the absolute best at everything, and the shining star of it all. daisy’s definitely an attention hog, and she’ll bust her ass on her work to make sure she’s better than everyone else on the floor with her. 
daisy’s very picky about who she hangs out with. as a future presidential candidate, optics are very important, obviously. she only surrounds herself with people she deems to be good for her image, and she’ll gladly let you know that she thinks you’re too shitty to be around. she cares a lot about how she appears to other people, you know.
daisy is selfish and rude, and truly doesn’t care if she hurts someone’s feelings. she speaks her mind and has absolutely no filter -- which gets her into a lot of trouble, i’m sure you can imagine. 
wanted connections:
enemies: if you need a bad guy or work rival in your character’s life, i wholly volunteer miss daisy moretti as that bad guy. it’s not hard for her to make enemies when you consider her personality.
ex: please please give me an angsty ex plot filled with depth and all the details. there’s gotta’ be a reason why daisy wants to be not only the first female president, but also the first president without a spouse, after all.
hookups: listen. she has needs.
                                                            JUDE VALENTINE.                                                   pinterest: https://pin.it/1dfK9dE                                                                 the basics: full name: jude lee valentine | hometown: tuscaloosa, alabama | zodiac: gemini | orientation: heterosexual | employment status: corporate attorney for masters international | positive traits: friendly, warm, sociable, extroverted, smart, witty, energetic | negative traits: compulsive, secretive, disloyal, impulsive, ignorant, desensitized
the backstory:
picture it with me: a ranch. nice pale green shutters and a huge yard. there’s cows in this picture, too, and horses. there might even be goats. there’s a tractor by the two ford trucks, a dog sleeping on the porch, and not another house for another twenty minute drive. this is what jude valentine is used to. he’s a country boy from alabama, equipped with the southern accent and everything. yes, he has a pair of cowboy boots. yes, he brought them to new york with him. yes, he pronounces creek as ‘crick’.
jude is a very sweet boy. he was quarterback in high school, got good grades, and every sunday he went to church with his family because Bible Belt things. homeboy is named after a book in the Bible. he’s all about southern manners and hospitality, about treating people kindly and always putting others first, and he always keeps his morals in check. or, he used to.
when you’re home it’s hard to stray away from what you’re used to. the same held true for jude in college, because even though he went to u of alabama (can you hear him yelling roll tide), he was still in his home state so he felt those morals still stuck with him. but then he applied for law school and got a full ride to nyu law, and whew, the Temptation
‘cuz you see, jude was always a sweetie pie. he still is! in high school he was super popular because he was tall and cute and athletic but funny and brought extra biscuits from home to hand out in homeroom. i’m not gonna lie, he’s charming af. he’s smooth and he has good jokes. the girls loved him but the little sh*t had a purity ring.
but then he got to nyc for law school and let me tell you. alabama is not close at all to manhattan, now is it. jude was fine the first couple of weeks, just worked on his case briefs in his shoe box of a starter apartment... but the women. homeboy started sleeping around a LOT after a while. y’know wet dreamz by j cole where he’s like haven’t been inside p*ssy since i came out one? yeah, that was jude until ny, and he’s very much still like that
is jude still the sweetest, nicest guy ever? yes. is jude still the type of guy to knock on your office door and ask if you want to walk to get coffee with him even though you guys have probably never met? yes. is jude the first guy on the dance floor when there’s a midnight party on the rooftop? yes. is jude the type of guy who’ll fuck with you and say no, he only listens to music made by a spoon and a blade of grass if you think he only listens to country music? yes. but he also has slept with at least twenty different interns and employees at the office, so.
he also dabbles in the occasional little pill when he’s got eight depositions to write up before tomorrow but he was too busy screwing some chick the night before. he first did this in law school. but we don’t worry about that.
stop it, i know what you’re thinking: sabrina, come on. so he sleeps around, okay. what’s the big deal about that?
here’s the big deal: he’s engaged.
lil (i say lil but he’s 6’3” while i’m only 5’0”, so lemme stfu) cupcake jude is a cheater. he’s got a whole fiancée and yet he still sleeps with other women, and each time he’s like no, okay, that was the last time for real, but then there’s a new intern at the office and the higher ups always throw the new people at him because he knows how to make people feel comfortable, and his country accent is cute and refreshing among all the new york bs, and the whole attorney thing certainly isn’t a negative, and, well. he gets tempted. and afterwards he always tells the girl okay, please, can this stay between us.
u wouldn’t know he’s engaged either bc it’s not like he’s wearing the engagement ring, now is he
i’m staying hush on daisy’s secret but jude’s is that he’s cheating on his significant other with people in the office. is he still a nice guy? heck yeah, but also, you have to be a certain kind of messed up to keep cheating on your s/o and just not tell them. that’s a lotttt of lying you’re just comfortable with. oh, what’s that? you’re threatening to tell his fiancée that you two slept together because you think she deserves to know? well. he’d hate having to do it, but... jude’s not above knocking someone down if it means his secret stays hidden.
wanted connections:
hookups: literally i will take as many hookup plots i can get. doesn’t matter if they’re an intern or an employee; jude will sleep w them and then make them promise not to tell anyone in the office afterwards because “wE’rE nOt sUpPoSeD tO sLeEp wItH cOwOrKeRs” but we all know why he wants to keep it under wraps. this also doesn’t have to be an only connection; he can be friends w someone but also hook up w them on the low too
fiancée: this one is huge for me so pls pls message me if ur seriously interested in this plot and we’ll talk !!
friends: this one is so easy bc jude will literally make conversation with a chair. he’s super sociable and fun and approachable and he loves making friends !! give me some ppl he can pester during lunch break and throw balled up pieces of paper at
best friend: he’s gotta have that one person that he just clicks really, really well with. jude talks to everyone and he’s super friendly but this person is his confidant. he goes to them w almost all of his problems and rants to them and asks for advice and likes to just be around this person. trusts them w his entire life. hmuuuuu :)
ex: listen. we all need a good ex plot and this person is probably the only one in the office jude isn’t bringing a complimentary donut to
sister: jude has a younger sister and honestly she was gonna be a npc but the idea of him looking out for her at the office and getting all (ง•̀_•́)ง when ppl r mean to her is smth i reeeeally like. or maybe they actually don’t get along that well and bicker a lot but there’s still that underlying hey i’ve got your back. you piece of shit. type feel going on !!
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As previously warned, I have a huge number of questions for the fanfic author ask thing. So, here we go: 4, 5, 6, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 20, 21, 24, 25, 26, 27, 29, 30, 31, 33, 36, 37 and then, if that wasn’t already enough, and there is anything you want to answer that I haven’t already asked, then pick one of your choosing to answer as well! 💕
Holy crap you weren’t kidding! lol this is gonna be so much fun!
4: What made you start writing fanfiction?
My 3rd grade teacher, Mr. Gula, gave me a challenge to write out my own ending to my favorite movie or TV show. As I was never really one to back down from a challenge, I went home and wrote out my own story about the first Transformers movie and another one about what I would do if I had been in HIgh School Musical. Yeah... needless to say, I was the Hermione of my grade.
5: Favorite pairing?
I know I don’t write for them, but my top is probably either Dee Dee and Frankie from the Beach Blanket Bingo, Bikini Beach, and Muscle Beach type movies or Seaweed and Penn from Hairspray. Something about those types of romance are sort of sweet to me. Guess I’m just an old soul. I also adore Cory and Topanga form Boy Meets World, but I’m mostly here for the older romances.
6: Least favorite pairing?
I’ll probably get flack for all of my answer, but I’m a little bit opinionated about this lol. The way Ginny and Harry’s relationship in the films was, was just confusing and so not what I had expected from them. The books gave them so much more than the movies ever did. The books were way better. Another case I don’t like was Bella and Edward/Renesmee and Jacob from Twilight. I think the other relationships in Twilight were better (Jasper and Alice are so sweet!) and Stephanie Meyer just kinda tossed Bella and Edward and Renesmee and Jacob together in the hope it would work and it just didn’t.
12: What’s the weirdest fic you’ve ever written?
I can’t believe I’m admitting to this.... I used to write full stories about One Direction. I had a full Niall x OC story I posted on a 1D Imagines group on Facebook that got almost 2,000 likes. It was silly, but, my word, it was almost as long as Broken Record. It spanned over the month of October 2014 and I can’t believe it ot the attention it did. It wasn’t all that good, but I guess it was good enough for people to like it, so that’s alright by me lol
13: Weirdest fic you’ve ever read?
I don’t believe it’s on fanfiction anymore, but I remember the basic info on it. It was Make a Wish by FireBladePrime. It was pretty much a girl made a wish on a shooting star and it made her favorite toys come to life as full size humans. I believe she ended up falling in love with one, but I’m pretty sure it just ended up being something that she came up with in her head when she was in a coma due to a car accident. Definitely a weird one, but it was pretty well written as far as memory serves.
14: Do the people in your life know you write fic? How do they feel about it?
Well, quite a bit of my family knows, actually. It started with just my parents, but my dad was always wanting to show off whatever his baby princess did (I was his only biological child, my older siblings were from my mom’s ex-husband). Dad shared with his siblings, mom shared with her siblings and my grandfather. My nieces and nephews know as well, but I believe that’s it. As far as I know, they are all very supportive and have no problem with it. My neice, Lorali, and nephews, Erek and Drake, have read all of my Teen Beach fics and quote things from them daily just to see if I’ll react, but they mostly just like reading them or having me read to them. They’re very loving and supportive of my writing.
15: Favorite fandom to write for?
I don’t know if I could pick one! I love Teen Beach so much, but I also have a certain affinity for writing small oneshots or “x Reader” style stories for Avengers and Harry Potter which can be found here and here. I do share the Harry Potter page with my sister, but she handles reblogging things to our page. Anyway, those would probably be my top fandoms!
17: What is the harshest criticism you’ve ever gotten on a fic?
Holy crap. Okay, I may or may not have repressed this for a long time, but I have more than one that I can’t decide between. The other one was from a girl in my class who stole my writing notebook and read my writing. Fuck you, Ashley She gave it back to me later that day with marker scribbles all over my writing. She said that I was horrible. The next day, I stole the makeup bag she had brought from her mother’s bathroom and buried it on the playground.
I was a good child that believed in getting even. Nobody found out about that btw.
Anyway, the first real criticism I had on a fic was someone who said, “You have no talent and you shouldn’t be writing. It all sucks and you’ll never go anywhere as an author.” I had actually written this down and, when I felt it no longer mattered to me, I burned it. It took me a couple of years to come to the realization that their opinion didn’t matter to me.
 20: What’s your biggest struggle when it comes to writing fic?
Having time to sit down and write, probably. I usually have great ideas, but, in order to write them out and have them come out alright, I would need to sit down and feel it all come together while I write. I need time that I just don’t have most of the time.
21: Your biggest strength?
When I sit down to write, it all just flies out of me. Once i start, I don’t stop until my idea is all out into either m notebook or my computer. I can have a simple idea that somehow spirals into an eight page chunk that I never thought was possible. I like to think of that as my biggest writing strength.
24: What’s your process?
Write out the “backbone plot” (The stuff that has to happen, no matter what)
Decide on characters. Figure out appearance, personality and basic traits. (Sorta like a sim, I guess)
Bounce ideas with whoever will listen/listen to music (Gain ideas and write them in a small notebook)
Wait for inspiration and time to line up accordingly.
Write as much as I can.
Go back into that later on and edit what needs to be there and delete what isn’t necessary.
Publish!
I hope that’s what this means, at least.
25: Of all the fics you’ve written, which is your favorite?
Most definitely Broken Record and Creating a Rift. It was one of my first published stories and I just adore them.
26: Which of your fics is your least favorite?
I don’t even know how to find it anymore, but it was called Life’s a Rollercoaster. It was a Transformers fic that I had written when I was 11. Never finished it bc I lost the login stuff and it, now that I remember it, sucked hard.
27: What’s your most popular fic? Do you think the popularity is warranted, or is there another fic that you think deserves it more?
Any of them really! I love that Broken Record has had almost 10,000 reads, but I don’t believe it. As I go back over it, I wonder how on earth it gained popularity in the first place, but I couldn’t be happier that it did!
29: Which of your fics was the hardest to write?
My book. Probably the Christmas one, tbh. I only feel the pull to write it around the holidays and that kinda sucks lol
30: Favorite fic writers?
You better know you’re number one, girlie! For those who don’t know, Eleanor here is one of my closest internet friends and she’s practically family to me at this point!
As for other authors, I love Ulurnaga’s Primary Mechanisms story (Transformers). I know she hasn’t updated it since 2014, but it was so good that she could’ve left it at multiple parts and it would’ve been fine. I think it has abot 118 chapters to it. I have a few favorites from AutobotGuy710 who does a lot of Transformers stories basing around adoption (helps for my references and also a better understanding of what goes on a bit in adoptions/foster care). On Tumblr, I have a few faves, but not a ton. I like imagine-and-marvel and potterlyimagines fics a lot, but that’s about it at the moment as I haven’t sat down to read fics in a little while.
31: Do you write just for fun, or would you ever consider pursuing writing?
A bit of both, actually. I mostly enjoy writing my fics as a bit of an escape from reality. I enjoy being able to place myself in a world that doesn’t exist and sort of play around a bit. However, I do actually write as a job. I was working for my county newspaper for a while and that spiraled into me writing my first book, Feather Picked. I am currently writing one of the sequels to Feather Picked which takes the focus from my original main character, Melody, and moves it to her best friend, Roxy. I am planning on publishing a total of at least 5 books, the first four being the chronological 4 that take place over the course of a full year, each taking one season. The last one will be a look into the future, hopefully.
My first book can be found here!
33: Fanfiction pet peeves?
Goodness gracious. As someone who loves English classes, when people don’t place paragraphs correctly or spell simple words correctly, it reeeeeeally grinds my nerves. I will still sit through a story if it’s a well plotted story, but, come on people, at least do proper paragraphing!!!
Also, when people spell “definitely” as “defiantly”...... uuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhh
36: Which charachter(s) would you never write for?
For this one, I don’t really have much to say.
Probably characters from shows like soap operas or shows that never seem to end. If I can’t grasp the character’s backstory or personality after watching it because it never stops changing whenever it benefits the story or what the writers have planned, I refuse to write for them. 
Mary Sue types like Bella Swan who are merely the damsel in distress  and are only there to play out the author’s wish to be put in some type of scenario where everyone fawns over them constantly (can be applied to male characters as well).
37: Which character is your favorite to write for?
Out of already made characters: Butchy, Lela, Cheech, Evie, Ben, Harry Hook, Bucky Barnes, Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood.
Out of my OCs: Mick, Malina, Roxy Madden, Candi DiMaggio
Since you said I could pick one if I wanted, I’m going to pick #40.
40: Imagine yourself 10 years in the future; do you think you’ll still be writing fic?
I think I will be, yes. I don’t think my ideas for movies and books will ever stop. Especially knowing what I have planned after Creating A Rift is done. But... that’s a story for another time, lol
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janiedean · 5 years
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Why do you think the SW fandom is so knee-deep in SJ Calvinism? Because I understand wanting representation or being upset because a movie didn’t fulfill your expectations, but the “if you don’t ship X you’re racist” “if you don’t stan Y you’re bigoted” and the harassment over a disappointing movie is surprising just because of how pervasive it is. I was trying to find some St*rmpilot blogs to follow and the amount of hate is Yikes, especially the hate for Rose and the stans of a Certain Ship
eeeeeeh I think it’s because ep. 7 came out at the height of the... well, reaping the seeds the social justice calvinism had sown since 2014 so to speak? I mean, SW is hardly the one fandom where it happened (*cough* voltron and SU *cough*) but as SW is way broader in audience than those other shows that certainly didn’t help, but like, if you think on it, since 2013-ish (but I think before as well, I mean, I’ve been here since 2011 and already when I got here I felt like something was going very wrong when it came to politics-in-fandom-attitude), basically people on tumblr have progressively, when it came to fandoms:
pushed the idea that you have to over-analyze everything you consume through political lens;
pushed the idea that what you like and how you like it also has to be pushed through political lens and what you like says things about who you are as a person or your political leanings;
pushed the idea that if you care for something *problematic* just because you like it you’re excusing it;
pushed the idea that if you were problematic once you can’t ever not be problematic, you can’t change your mind and you can’t learn also because ‘it’s not my job to educate you’ so people either learn themselves or idek what but again, calvinism.
now obviously those politics are tumblr-politics which are also US centric like woah and are also high-school petty like woah, and since more or less then people have:
continuously other-ed lgbt people from *straight*/heterosexual people pushing a narrative where straight = bad and therefore putting it before anything automatically makes it a valid insult which added to the above means that if you ship het you’re already problematic regardless of whether you’re straight or not (and if you are.. lol);
pushed the performative feminism of Doom TM that says men and women should be equal but is like, an excuse to shit on men and on women who like men (see the rampant biphobia around and the whole ‘straight girls are so stupid if they’re into men they should try women’ discourse);
pushed the US terminology when it comes to the POC discourse, in the sense that everything works on the US-centered context where white people = white anglosaxon protestant, poc = everything else without realizing that in the rest of the world white does not equal wasp, that poc = black people only in most of europe (and no one who’s actually black or not white who lives in africa or asia and so on would describe themselves as poc because why the hell would you when your skin color/ethinicity is the norm where you live?), which also goes with the whole white passing debate which where I live would not exist but in that context is a mess because again, oscar i*saac is schroedinger’s poc (as in, he’s poc automatically for american standards because he’s latin-american but like he has the same skin tone as my mother and my mother in italy is white same as 90% of us, which means endless confusion) and assumed that all of us have to accept that terminology/context regardless of whether it’s valid in our countries;
kept on progressively putting minorities against each other in an endless loop of WHO HAS IT WORST/oppression olympics;
kept on progressively split hairs on issues that aren’t exactly, like, that important if there’s more urgent stuff to deal with because 90% of the activism here is performative;
made the 180° turn for which headcanons and shit are seen as, like, doing representation instead of, you know, supporting what rep is there never mind when people decide *one* ship is the right one and if another is canonized and it’s rep it gets thoroughly ignored;
pushed on a mindset for which if something isn’t perfect at the get-go then it’s canceled.
and so on.
like, all of that shit has been continuously not criticized because criticizing it especially if you don’t belong to a minority means that you’re out of line/discussing things that don’t concern you, but if you’re a minority and you criticize it then it’s suddenly YOU BETRAYED OUR CAUSE *INSERT SLUR HERE ABOUT PANDERING TO THE MAJORITY*, and the result exploded in toxic af fandoms, but like... if you look at the issues of the SW sequel trilogy fandom it’s all of that in a nutshell because:
k/ylo ren is automatically the worst because he’s white (horrible), a man (even worse), not canonically attractive (I didn’t touch on that topic bc I’m honestly not up for it mentally but lmao that counts too) and presumably heterosexual (or well, no one said he’s not but you know, since he’s a white dude on the bad side [supposedly] then we don’t give him the benefit of the doubt that he might be bi), so if you like ky/lo ren or relate to him you’re automatically problematic;
shipping re/ylo because automatically problematic because it’s a *straight* (evil) ship made of two white people (when there’s options to ship them both with people that aren’t white, so IT’S RACIST), they have an age gap (BAD BECAUSE POWER IMBALANCE) and it’s enemies to lovers, so it’s a context where people who don’t conceive redemption or that people can become better are basically crying problematic all the time, and the fact that people decided it’s *abusive* when it has like nothing that can equate it to a really abusive relationship says all;
ky/lux being the most popular slash ship immediately means that it’s the fault of the horrible straight (white) women fetishizing the (white) men on the dark side (when it’s most likely because for a while ky/lux was literally the only side of that fandom where people were chill/there wasn’t wank every other moment);
st/ormpilot has been declared The Right Ship because it’s two non-white men and it’s not straight which automatically turns into what I said before about hating other ships that would be rep anyway and feeds into the lowkey oppression olympics racism, because like if finn/rose becomes canon it’s still a mixed/biracial ship because he’s black and she’s asian....... except that it’s not the right ship for people who decided that finn has to be either with rey or poe (and guess what rey is white and poe is... schroedinger’s poc because oscar isaac in europe wouldn’t pass for *poc*), which to me has stank of lowkey racism since tlj came out because sorry but if ‘finn deserves better than rose’ or ‘finn should be with rey because if he doesn’t get rey then it’s unfair’ and the various other bullshit I read on the topic basically says that the white woman is *worthier* than the asian woman or that rose is a downgrade from rey which is fucking bullshit, rose isn’t even a bad character all the contrary. and that’s for the het side of it, but like then it’s not as good as stormpilot because it’s a straight ship (NOOOO THEY MADE FINN STRAIGHT/THEY’RE NOT MAKING THEM GAY THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT = stuff I legit saw on the tag) and ngl I’m 100% sure that the fact that daisy is Standard Attractive and kelly marie t/ran is lovely but doesn't conform to the usual beauty standard western-viewers apply on asian women did play a role in there, but: what did I say before? the slash ship is automatically better than the het ship never mind that they’re both biracial and rose is actually a rep (asian girls who don’t adhere to stereotypical body shapes - and like, the rep for all body types and shapes should be valid for all women, not just white) that isn’t exactly popular especially in mainstream cinema, so people should be happy.... but since rose is Not A Dude and Not Rey and Not The Right Kind Of Representation For That Crowd, automatically rose is a shit character and deserves to be viciously hated on. and this is a thing done by people who most likely then turn on the other side and talk shit about horrible straight women who hate the only female character for getting in the way of their slash ship without realizing that their rose hate is exactly that. and of course since sto/rmpilot is the two good guys, if you ship that then you also have to hate re/ylo because how can you, a person who ships The Good Ship On The Light Side, support such a problematic enemies to lovers thing? yeah, right, hahaha.
this also tbqh also pairs up with how on tumblr people only recognize mental health issues/abuse victims when the narrative suits them - like, being a bad victim automatically means you lose sympathy and mental health issues are only valid if you aren’t ***privileged*** otherwise why would you have them, which shows transparently in how a lot of people absolutely deny that ky/lo ren is a) an abuse victim, b) obviously mentally ill however it is that he deals with it, but no, he has to be The Most Horrible In Existence Because Otherwise We Should Have Empathy For A Bad Guy Who Also Might Get Redeemed And Redemption Is Not Happening Ever Because Bad People Don’t Deserve it.
like, all of the issues sw sequel trilogy has when it comes to the fandom are direct consequences of the nonsensical social justice calvinism climate on tumblr dot com that no one took care to put a stop to since 2013 and of its ridiculous oppression olympics and pitting people against each other and that was my take. cheers.
(ps: I also ship sto/rmpilot like woah and it’s my otp but there’s a reason why I unfollowed most SP blogs I followed and why I don’t go into the tag anymore - I’m not here for the anti-rose racism dressed up as performative wokeness, I’m not here to get lectured about as a white person I fetishize poc gay men if I ship it - yes I read that too - and I’m not here to read a bunch of meta about how re/ylo is a bad ship and blah blah blah, so yeah. I feel you.) (pps: ky/lo ren isn’t even my favorite character and I care relatively but gdi the way the fandom approaches him is honestly mindboggling in that sense, and I don’t mean people who actually dislike him because fair reasons, I mean people who can’t recognize his abuse victim status and the precarious status of his mental health. like, not all abuse victims and mentally ill people are the right victim or come from the right background and you can be cool motive still murder and still recognize that he’s like that because he has issues, not because he was drawn that way. /bye)
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