#bc I see no difference

[emilbh]

2am ish and that feeling of ppl always meaning more to me than I am to them comes creeping back like clockwork

#ik no one’s gonna see this bc it’s late so I can just talk into the void #which is honestly just any time on this app tbh lol #ugh #idk where I stand with most ppl in my life tbh #there’s rlly only one person I don’t feel like this abt (or when I do I get over it fast) #and we’ve known each other our whole teen years and more now #so ig maybe that’s the only way I can truly be satisfied #but most ppl in my life treat everyone the same #which is good obv but like at the same time where do I stand? #am I your best friend or are you just saying that? #bc I see no difference #I blame my early middle school friendships for this #same thing in uni now ig #yes this belongs in a journal and not the internet but I couldn’t care less at this point #prob will forget abt this in the morning anyway I have bigger things to worry abt lmao

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[ruporas]

your love returns in tragedy (ID in alt)

#farcille #falin touden #marcille donato #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #coming face to face with the consequences of acting out of love - marcille u will always be famous #dunmeshi is really a series that keeps on moving bc it's about so many different characters and centered on the journey #rather than like... introspectively on one singular individual so i dont think we see marcille dwell on it but we can see her fatigue #her shock and surprise in the recent ep “don't hurt her she's just confused” Gah. desperately trying to grasp everything thats going on and #not to lose hope. bc undoubtedly the remains she put together was falin's - that short moment of reprieve the party had was with falin #she was able to bring her back her magic did it!! but the violence the fatal swings was not falin at all. #just pondering about holding that guilt... it's such a huge responsibility to be in charge of life in the first place and yet it is #a burden she'll keep trudging with. defying the natural orders to keep the people she love alive... i Lauv her... #also shared sentiment with the rest of the fandom but God. Chimera Falin... she is Everything.... #ruporas art

[cipheramnesia]

Tumblr stop recommending me horny sapphic blogs that all say men dni in the pinned post, go back to sending me posts from the one that's just horny all the time please, I want the fat furries and the queer freaks that are way less respectably normal about me and my body.

#long post #feels weird to have this tagged important although I'm glad it resonates with many different trans people #dni lists are generally useless and rarely seen but i see all the saph ones bc I'm checking they're not terfs and its weird #but its just always weird bc they always are trans inclusive binary exclusionist and its like what are you doing #anyway its pretty much all an online thing but weird insight into the whole neoliberal gender politics #trans inclusive politics that still fundamentally are binary exclusively in action

[danggerine]

going insane thinking about the harrow and palamedes friendship. harrow, who has never met another necromancer her age forming a bizarro 3D chess rivalry while pal worries about her safety at every possible turn. harrow, who is up to her eyebrows in paranoia and secrecy, trusting the sixth house with gideon unconscious and hurt, letting them into the ninth house quarters unsupervised. if “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” is goth for i love you, “death first to vultures and scavengers” has got to be goth for i love you (platonic). pal’s first reaction when harrow comes into his bubble in the river is to scoop her up in a hug, and at this point she doesn’t remember anything about him because cutting out all her memories of gideon is impossible without cutting out memories of the sixth, but she still makes him a skelehand to inhabit anyway. when harrow’s memories are finally whole, she tells dulcinea she couldn’t face pal knowing that his pen pal girlfriend died on her account, but the next time she “faces” him, palamades’s soul is in someone else’s body and harrow’s body is full of nona’s soul. he spends six months protecting and caring for harrow’s body (and nona obv), believing in the possibility of bringing her back to it the same way cam believed in him. “god, do you know i miss harrow terribly.” and by the time harrow comes back to her body at the very end of ntn, pal is gone forever, fully pauled. the last time harrow and palamades see each other as their complete selves is in canaan house, alive and unlyctored. two of the smartest and loneliest people in the solar system meet each other in the worst of circumstances and spend the rest of the story dancing around each other as fragments of themselves, trying to care about each other in the interim but never fully meeting like they did the first time. a friendship made almost entirely of missing the other person. “do you know i miss harrow terribly.” god. i need to lie down

#behold: a block of text i do not feel like putting paragraph breaks in #i am so fucking crushed that they try so hard to take care of each other in different ways but never see each other ever again #he gave her a lift you off the floor hug in the bubble and she didnt even know why. #the thing that made him miss harrow was ‘look at me like you’ve worked out how to kill me’ bc he knows scowling is her display of affection #she couldn’t even REMEMBER him in htn but she helped camilla find his soul and put him back together anyway #is this anything. am i sounding as insane as i feel #tlt #harrowhark nonagesimus #palamedes sextus #katie don’t look #ntn spoilers #htn spoilers #gtn spoilers

[gatoiberico]

the depths

print

#totk #botw #loz #link #zelda #elgatoiberico #finally done this shenanigan of a scene #I wanted to try doing something a bit more ambitious #also punchy #or rather action...y #I've also been feeling kinda lost with my art and what I wanna do with it so this was basically a “try it out and see” piece #what I ended up seeing is that link is so small #I mean sure he's small but he's small x 2 here #sorry link all the glory goes to the bokoblin getting slapped #on a completely #ok nearly completely #different side note did anyone else take a while to figure out how to fight armoured bokoblins?? #bc I needed a moment to understand and it really did take me a Moment and then some

[damiduck]

Damian, handing Bruce a piece of paper with a very neat calendar on it: father, I will be taking a step back from my participation in our nightly patrols. I have carefully considered factors such as, but not limited to, school tests, most likely days for breakouts and when other people will be available. Here is my schedule.

Bruce: any particular reason you are stepping back from Robin?

Damian: I have reached an acceptable age and am by far mature enough, so I will be participating in Ramadan this year, father. Afterwards I will pick my duties up as normal, but with changed sleeping and eating patterns, this is the most logical step for now.

Bruce, who grew up with a jewish mother and christian father who were intent to raise him on some weird mix of the two, then a second father who was atheist, proceeded to lose his entire way in any form of religion due to losing himself in his teen years, took in Jewish boy, then a catholic one with religious trauma, then an atheist one who had no idea how to even approach the idea of religion, followed up by a pagan girl and already making seven different mental lists of things he will need to research, how to add aspects of Islam into their weird family holidays and trying desperately to show his support for his son: ....hnn

Damian: thank you father

#bruce is trying #he really is #but hes just so incapable of voicing any Emotion ever #but he just really loves his kids and wants them happy #also you cannot convince me the wayne family holidays are not a mess of a situation due to different religions lmaoo #i intended for cass to be the pagan girl simply bc she gives me such vibes #i can see it yk #bruce wayne #damian wayne #batman #robin #batfam #the batfamily #muslim damian wayne #good dad bruce wayne

[lotus-pear]

top 10 moments before disaster (dazai is about to step on his toes)

#day 9547860367 of drawing them in the hopes that the next chapter will be ada reunion. we will see. #ALSO HELP slamming my head into a brick wall i'm gonna get cancelled for glasses erasure one day istg. i'm sorry kuni #watch me once again exaggerate a barely visible height difference in canon bc idgaf dazai should get to be short for once in his life #anyway i hope skk eats shit i want knkdz back i miss them so fucking much #i pray and beg and sob every night kneeling at my bedside for dazai to go home and see his husband and son again #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #kunizai #lotus draws #uughhhhh posting at ungodly hours AGAIN this is gonna catch up to me one day istg

[lowpolysonic]

drew these sillies ages ago and forgot to post them...

#i only remembered these bc i was going through my priv ig n saw 1 of these in a post from september n i was like WAIT. i never posted these. #i was trying smth different i think w the way i drew them n i dont like some of it anymore but these made me giggle enough to let u all see #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #miles tails prower #sonic #shadow #knuckles #tails #sth #munna's art

[br3adtoasty]

We would like to interrupt the usual art program with—

✨Some Spiderverse doodles!✨

#here you can see me trying to figure out how to draw them in the first one lmao sghdhdhsb #also don’t mind the style change i use completely different styles for the twst sprites and my other drawings 😭😭 #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderverse fanart #atsv #atsv fanart #the spot #hobie brown #meows morales #miles morales #pavitr prabhakar #gayatri singh #pavitr x miles #pavitr x gayatri #chaiflower #goldenflower #pav miles and gayatri are all in a poly relationship bc i said so‼️‼️ #my art

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[willthespy]

some big three tree four doodles (lighting practice)

this is the first time i can say i dont like the di angelo doodles the most…. posted bc i love them but….

#idk why i drew bianca so different than how i usually would but i didnt want yo vhanhe it #i actually see thalia percy and nico as the big three but bianca deserves a spot too bc i love her #nico di angelo #percy jackson #thalia grace #bianca di angelo #nico di angelo fanart #percy jackson fanart #thalia grace fanart #bianca di angelo fanart #di angelo siblings #pjo #pjo fanart #nico di angelo pjo #percy pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #nico pjo #pjo thalia #pjo bianca #pjo fandom #pjo hoo toa #pjoverse #rrverse #riordan verse #pjo hoo toa tsats #my art

[achillean-knight]

#A taste of whats to come for my AU comic.... the same one with mask bot don't worry #I've committed to the mask bot series now lmao #Anyways this is MUCH further in the story bc I am impatient and wanted to draw my other concept for the small series in a different light #now with more developments. #fnaf #fnaf au #my fnaf au art #the puppet #the puppet fnaf #the marionette #charlie emily #cassie fnaf #cassie #fnaf security breach #fnaf ruin #the blob #the blob fnaf #the tangle #my art #oh yeah ignore the writing error if you see it I just realised I made a mistake JKHDSSJSK

[ruporas]

kiss (ID in alt text)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun stampede #trigun maximum #this is also from a while ago... *kicks rocks* i keep on forgeting to upload stuff. also as u can see... my numerous kisses from before #but stampede vs maximum in my brain basically #ultimately they are both screwed in every versions but at different paces(?) #stampede im so screwed (trying to be normal) #maximum im so screwed (already resigned that they cant be normal about it) #doomed for tragedy but kiss kiss while they can #i very much enjoy drawing stampede vs max schtuff bc i have a hard time verbalizing What exactly their differences are #but i guess w stampede - to me - they feel more impulsive while simultaneously capable of being in deep denial #and with max its the opposite - hesitant and slow but the acceptance is already there........ my brain is mush so im not going to #elaborate more than that but i think this is also why i find stamp vw x max vw interactions fun to think about #ruporas art

[alcego]

i understand the desire to make Jeremy secretly fucked up but y'all i will be so real. man would be a Fox if so. to me it is funnier to make him absurdly normal. yeah his parents are divorced but that's fine. just... making him Normal would be the hardest thing for Jean to decipher and in MY mind it makes more sense for Jeremy to be just. painfully normal.

#i see y'all's headcanons but i am ignoring them lol #also - unrelated to jeremy - i will be SORELY disappointed if anyone at USC has mob ties bc that entirely defeats the purpose #they're just supposed to be a normal team with a fucked up bundle of trauma wandering into their locker room #to me anything different will ruin the vibes