#bc 1) it doesnt even make sense and 2) fuck you

[skunkes]

OMG you like moral orel?? who is your favorite character :]c *Blinking and fluttering my eyelashes beautifully*

i watched the whole thing in a few days, ended yesterday. My faves are nurse bendy and joe (together and as a unit), stephanie (individually and then as a unit with the reverend but i dont like him individually), + danielle, of course

#idk how to feel about it in general i know there was more planned but it got cancelled but it still ended too suddenly ykwim #i liked what we saw at the end with orel finding family elsewhere (before he grows up) #i like orel himself outside of the wacky edgy adult themes of it all as a Kid who is Good #when i was watching that last episode i got a bizarre kind of emotional bc when he first poses the Big Question i Knew #that the answer was that the only good thing abt his father was that he had a hand in making him #i get so sad with stories involving children like dis 😭 #i feel like even if it was fully complete the show had more potential ykwim....i know the Tonal Shift makes the impact more...impactful #but i feel it cldve been handled differently or in different amounts. idk! #skunk mail #pawzcore #i also get its bc the eps are short but nature 1 and 2 didnt impact me the way it did others #like. idk. i knew beforehand it was the serious moment(s)/episode(s) but it wasnt presented in a way that #actually shifted My mood when watching it...clay's nonchalance from the eyes of me as a viewer #just comes off as humorous rather than serious ykwim? not that its funny but it doesnt feel high stakes at all #the whole thing didnt feel high stakes or serious unless u remove it from the context of the show youve been watching #for 2 seasons #its fucked up when you see it on paper but then in the show its different....if that makes sense

[adhdchilles]

completely valid to be like "i think madeline miller didnt write patroclus' death/the events leading to it very well i think she undermined it too much" like yeah thats valid criticism i dont like how she narrated it either and i also agree that "she made patroclus a little bit too reliant/dependent on achilles" but like. it starts to get extremely weird when yall phrase this criticism as "i hate the fact that this writer made this male character feminine" as if 1) femininity is apparently a bad thing and 2) femininity makes the character weaker ?? also very weird how some people also associate him being a doctor with him being feminine as if certain careers have specific genders ??

also very weird how a lot of these people tend to be okay with achilles being drawn in this very feminine manner considering hes often portrayed as white while not being okay with pat being drawn feminine on the other hand as hes often portrayed as a poc nowadays. apparently femininity in men is only ok if the dude is pale, right, ok. borderline racist but alright

and like i get it if its like "i dont like that he was made more feminine bc its as if miller is trying to make them heteronormative" like thats valid as hell and can lead to a very interesting discussion (even though i dont think she hyper-masculinized achilles at all) but the way some of yall PHRASE THIS???? mind your words holy fuck

anyways you can be both feminine and a badass warrior. if achilles can be both at once so can his bf. "but pat being overly kind doesnt make sense when he tries to climb the wall of troy to kill them all" what if i told you that kind people can still feel anger and hatred... especially when they were forced to be in a war zone for a whole decade watching people die endlessly and pointlessly... and that it makes a lot of sense actually if you interpret it as patroclus just wanting to end the war himself because hes Fucking Sick Of It.

let bro be the nicest person at home and kill people when his bf sends him to do it. hes probably the most likeable character in the fucking epic, and his combat before he dies is impressive as hell. how about we let him have both trophies instead of acting like he can only be 1 of these two things or acting like people who are feminine cant be powerful or badass because uhhh borderline mysoginy or something. doesnt that sound nicer?

thanks for coming to todays episode of i hate cisgender people

#last part is not /srs #before anyone whines about it #robb screams into the infinite void of chaos #achilles #the song of achilles #tsoa #patrochilles #the iliad #patroclus #song of achilles #classical mythology #greek myth #ancient greek mythology #greek mythology #greek myths

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 35

welcome to the thirty-fifth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Send Down the Rain by @azapofinspiration

Lance missed rain. As much as he missed his family and his home, he missed rain almost as much.

However, rain has to exist somewhere out in the universe, right? Even if he can't go home, Lance should be able to feel rain and soak it.

Right?

Five times Lance tried to find rain and the one time he did

lance should have gotten the rain in canon. he needed that. and god did azap fucking deliver!! this fic is sweet and this fic is sad and this fic is melancholy and this fic makes you want to throw up and this fic makes you feel alive. i fckn love this fic

2. Brawler by @admiralcanthackett [GORE WARNING]

I have no summary for this beyond Lance and Keith get ambushed and Lance is a determined motherfucker who fights dirty. Keith is mildly turned on and largely impressed.

you ever want to see lance, feral, thinking only of protecting his family, rip someone’s throat out with his teeth? no? well, i didnt either, but it turns out that i needed to read it, so. and just to clarify this series isnt just lance going batshit insane, although there is plenty of that, it also has some tender klance gong over trauma so thats fun

3. nobody has to know (nobody but me) by xeah

Lance has a secret, and he’s taking it to the grave –except, he didn’t think the ‘taking it to the grave’ bit would happen quite so soon.

When the team head planetside on a diplomatic mission, Lance can’t decide if he’s ecstatic about it, or about to endure an intense bout of homesickness. Sure, the planet looks cool, the aliens themselves are pretty chill considering they’ve singlehandedly fended off Galra attacks up until now. But thanks to Pidge making the team clocks that run on Earth time, Lance knows that it’s almost his nineteenth birthday.

Yeah, he’s gonna go with the homesickness.

Unfortunately for him, the aliens they visit have two distinct qualities that, in any other circumstance, Lance would find cool; the ability to sense emotions, and the complete inability to keep secrets. That extends to their allies, as well.

He probably would have continued thinking those were pretty amazing skills –until the aliens sense negative emotions between the Paladins, and demand that to secure an alliance, the team must heal the dissent brewing in the fine cracks between each other thanks to the secrets they’re keeping, no matter how trivial.

Yeah. Homesickness probably wasn’t the right way to go.

okay, full disclaimer, this series isnt finished and i doubt it ever will be. HOWEVER. this fic is, and this fic is fucking stellar. magical realism has always been a fave of mine, and of course add vld and klance to that and ill always go feral. if you want to see amazing mcclain family backstory and tension so thick you could gnaw on it, swallow the L and read this fic you’ll only be a litle devastated that you won’t see how the series ends

4. Bruises by @admiralcanthackett

Lance is cornered by a Galra, cut off from the rest of his team. When he hears their disparaging comments, instead of asking for help when he can, he hides how hurt he is. He doesn't want them to think he's anymore useless than he already is.

you can tell that the author was mad when fae wrote this and honestly? yeah. yeah, sometimes u just have to be mad. sometimes thinks go to shit and its everyone’s fault and your pain becomes physical and you just have to grit your teeth and tell everyone to go fuck themselves. thats what lance goes thru here

5. Hybrid by @admiralcanthackett

Lance overhears one of the aliens insulting Keith after a successful mission and loses his temper.

yes another admiral fic but let me live i have always been obsessed with these fics and there are just so MANY of them okay. there will be more. but i like this one bc who doesn tlike protective lance??? who doesnt like keith realising that he’s worthy of being defended??? like cmon now

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#i mean the authors are still a little varied #ive done hundreds of these ive def had quite a few okay #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #team as family #bamf lance #witch lance #langst #fic rec #fic rec friday

[tiktaalic]

Why are you (and others) so convinced that Neil Gaiman must be lying when he implies that he and Terry Pratchett always intended Azicrow to be canon in the potential second Good Omens book? I'm new to this fandom so don't know the backstory, but Gaiman has been writing gay characters (and nonbinary angels) since the '90s, and Pratchett according to fans is an ally. I've seen a few receipts (about Gaiman not "getting" slash) from the early oughts, but the South Downs cottage endgame comes from a conversation G&P had about the sequel in 2005 (see the story here: https://. thegoodomensdumpster. tumblr.com/ post/621209875504054272/.. where-the-south-downs-thing-comes-from). He seems credible but did he say something since then?

I mean. Even in the excerpt you sent there’s this.

people have asked him about the south downs, and scenes in the book, and any time he's asked he takes the chance to reiterate that it's Not Canon. this has been the line for 30 years. this was the line a month! before the show aired. i think it's true that the planned sequel was aziraphale and crowley focused. this makes sense to me. they were on book covers, they were people's favorites. i dont think this means hes been planning a romance since the 90s. prior to the show, the stances neil gaiman had, had repeatedly on record, and never strayed from were:

+ it's fine if you like azcrow i want you to continue to have fun with it if you like it, but it's not canon, it is strictly 100% fanon.

+ the sequel is about aziraphale and crowley

+ i am not comfortable making a season two because it would involve creating new content that terry would not have input on.

after season one aired, the stances were:

+ i intended azcrow as a love story. i always have.

+ season 2 coming july 2023!

+ the new seasons that i'm writing were something i discussed with terry decades ago.

which is simply. not true. either he spent 30 years lying. because. ??? or he has spent the years after season 1 garnered a lot of praise for having gay people in it lying. because it makes him look good, and because s2 (and 3) will make money. one of these options makes sense. one of them doesnt. like.

this was one MONTH before the show. if he for real always since nineteen ninety meant azcrow was in a relationship. why would he. a month before his show. say DONT get it twisted it's NOT a love life.

i also dont think its worth anything to compare representation in gomens to his other works, bc his other works are very very different. gomens is solidly pg13 lighthearted romp. and - as someone who has read a lot of neil gaiman's work, and liked a lot of neil gaiman's work, most of it errs to the side of i'm SICK. i'm TWISTED. im FUCKED UP and WEIRD. and. to be clear. i am not calling him homophobic. i am not doubting that he legitimately cares about gay people in his life. but i do think. he like many other men. were like. you know what'll take this fucked up weird story from a 10 to a 100. if there were GAY MEN in it. and to be doubly clear. i am speaking primarily about american gods, which is what i remember with most clarity. which is fine. its a fine thing to do. representation win the guy who writes weird horror adjacent sex scenes wrote one about men. (this is a gross oversimplification of sex scenes in american gods).

and again i well and truly do not blame the man for being like. um. actually i dont want the characters i based on me and my buddy to be in love or have sex in my lighthearted pg 13 story. i think this is a very normal stance to have! i would never fault someone for this stance! it's just. the lying. the people who are ragging on him are primarily composed, from what i can tell, of book fans who followed him pre show. because he was exceedingly consistent about his opinions pre show. again. if you followed him at any point! before the show you would see his opinions iterated then reiterated. if you followed him a MONTH! 30 DAYS! before the show you would see his pre show opinions. because he's expressed the exact same opinion dozens of times since 1990. and they quite literally only changed once it came out and people started praising him.

#ask #anonymous #cfct #long post

[choccy-milky]

1. your fic is absolutely amazing. Have been bingeing it and I’m literally obsessed. The way you write just itches my brain in such a good way, literally cannot contain my love and appreciation for your work👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 cheers to you!!! Can’t wait to keep reading

2. As I was reading I found out you also deadass drawing the art to go w/ the fic?? Literally you’re living my dream 😭 plus your art is so so so well done!!!!! It’s added so much joy to my reading experience

Cannot wait to see what else you have in store!!’ Hope you have an amazing, AMAZING day, week, year, etc.!!!! 💞🙌🏻🫶🏻

OMG IM GONNA CRY 😭😭 BAHAHA U SENT THIS AT SUCH A CRAZY MOMENT cuz i just checked my ao3 comments and was down about a rude comment i got, and then i come to tumblr and like, a few mins later/literally AS i was venting about it, u send this BAHAHA your choccy senses were tingling. IM SO GLAD U LIKE IT THO AND THAT YOURE ENJOYING IT (and my drawings, even if youve defs seen spoilers by now BAHHA) hope u have a good day too, u defs brightened mine!! THANK UUUU💖💖💖

@kaviary-blog this looks so funny bc i censored u just to keep it (mostly) spoiler free BUT AW THANK U DAMN IM HONOURED THAT MY FANFIC WAS THE ONE TO MAKE YOU CRY?? IM SO HAPPY HOW INVESTED YOU ARE 😭😭💖💖 im also super happy with that chap and its so satisfying like you said to finally be able to tie of all those threads so IM GLAD IT WAS WORTH IT💖

@lovesicklovermia ONE DAY???? OMG. FIRST TWO DAYS NOW ONE?? ITS JUST GETTING SHORTER AND SHORTER. next thing i know someones gonna be like yeah so i took some highly experimental drug that lets me read at 1000% the pace of a normal person, and i finished ur fic in 2 hours 😍omg loved it!!!😍😍 BAHAHAHA but omg i totally see what u mean, they do HAHA. AND THANK U💖💖 IM GLAD UR LIKING IT💖

YEAH so in my fic fifth years are 16, and by the time things get....explicit....clora and seb are 17. im not against consuming media with teenagers depicted in sexual situations like euphoria or riverdale or w.e else bc i get that its fiction and these are just real things that happen so its fine to write about them, but their canonical ages of 15 was still too young for me and i wanted them to be 17 before it got the E rating (which is why clora and sebs birthdays end up being so close, bc i was RUSHING for them to turn 17 BAHAHHAA)

BAHAHA clora and seb secretly being together is like the most poorly kept secret in my fic, like im sure her parents technically KNOW, but due to old fashioned traditions and whatnot (and it being 1891) seb wants to be able to propose properly and with a proper ring, bc clive is intimidating and he doesnt wanna just be like "yeah so im dating your daughter and weve already fucked and i plan to marry her" LOOL he wants to do things properly and be with her with her dads permission(even tho its a bit late for that HAHA) BUT WE CAN JUST PRETEND. tldr its basically just out of some sense of chivalry on sebs side, a fear of her dad, and wanting to do things right LOL

ALSO WAIT OMG STOPPPPP I WAS LITERALLY JUST ABOUT TO POST THIS BUTI HAVE TO INCLUDE THIS NOW

YOU SAW MY POST AND IMMEDIATELY DREW THIS AS A RESPONSE WHILE IN CLASS?? BAHAHAHA IM ACTUALLY SO TOUCHED RN IM TEARING UP WTF THATS SO SWEET OF YOU WTFFFFFFFFF THANK YOU SO MUCH😭😭😭💖💖 (NOW PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS!!🤬🤬)

#ask #rude comment?? forgotten. coke zero?? SLURPED #the irony of drawing CLORA in class bc she would disapprove and want u to pay attention BAHAHAH

[evil-mcytblrconfessions]

honestly i just wanted to make a confessions blog. i have no clue if this is an original or even acceptable idea (im sorry if its not. thats why im not linking this to my main haha)

AHEM. do you love @mcytblrconfessions (unaffiliated)? do you get sad when they turn their asks off because theyve got a fucktonne of them (which is very valid, this is not me being upset at them for doing so)? do you wish that said blog was run by one (1) unstable dsmp fan who definitely doesnt write hermitcraft rpf? well too bad for you about that last one.

THIS IS THE BLOG WHERE ALL OF THAT IS REAL! why is this evil? i dont fucking know; it just is. send in all of your confessions (vaguely) related to mcyt! honestly if you send in something completely unrelated but i find it funny ill still post it bcs idk why not

i am fully expecting to just fucking die within a week. tumblrs already ruined my mental health; lets go for round 2 WOOOO

im your host cedar (pronounced like cheddar) and welcome to making bad decisions with me !

actually important stuff (im gonna pin this post):

- i will be stealing parts of mcytblrconfessions tagging system. PARTS.

- this blogs asks will be open WHENEVER mcytblrconfessions asks are closed. no matter how many asks i have in the inbox. theyll be thrown in queue and answered whenever.

- this blog is only evil because its funny ! please do not be a deplorable person! do not send in things such as: discourse-related, nsfw, drama/ragebaiting, being a fucking weirdo. just. yeah, use common sense please <3 there is non-zero chance that i will just block you <3

- yes thats a squishmallow in the pfp; hir name is éloïse.

#mcytblr #confessions blog #dsmpblr #hermitblr #trafficblr #empiresblr #yeah thats all the smps i know; im fucked #i pray to the fucking watchers that nothing bad happens #okay buh-bye

[plasmaapologist]

...just realized i left my introduction in the drafts. oops. at least i have a better photo now.

my names tula, and i'm a registered pokémon nurse with a horrible tendency to ramble. i live in unova and do some work here, but i mainly travel to other regions for this.

i am a former member of team plasma. former. my username is ironic because i cope with humor.

i ran away from home at age 14- it's a long story - and ended up being indoctrinated in. i, like many others, were lucky to have a sort of "snap to reality" moment after ghetsis' first arrest, before the formation of neo plasma, but not before i spent 10 years of my life working for him. many people are shocked by how open i am about my experience, but i think its extremely important to talk about these things: if i could help just one person leave this cycle, or keep someone from entering it, then it would make the shame worth it.

i have dedicated my life to helping pokémon, as a way to attone, i suppose. my darling solosis, mini, travels with me, though i must admit she's quite the spoiled brat. to have such an innocent creature love and trust you is the most healing experience someone can ask for, and i acknowledge that i was so very lucky. i had a home to return to, i was able to find work despite my history, and physically, i bear only a scar on my back and a missing finger... also just so we all know i am a natural ginger and i am not going to dye my hair please stop asking thanks

feel free to ask me any questions you may have: about pokemon, about myself, or my experience with team plasma, any of the sort. and if you need help leaving neo plasma or a group like it, please shoot me a message, i'll give you all the advice i can.

- tula ☆

ooc and admin info:

hi! im cassini, im 21, and i have not rpd since middle school. please be nice

im okay with joining events and plotlines! but i do not know how to join in naturally and get too embarrassed to ask. please shoot me a message/invite! muse list bellloowwwww tulas info

im not lore compliant at times and am even willing to bend (most) of my own headcanons bc multiverse and the likes! very flexible in general

okay more important tula things:

- sapient pokemon interaction is okay! tula will generally believe them. shes seen weirder. legendaries will be met with much more scrutiny, but kindness.

- i keep her age purposefully vauge for "pokemon timeline makes no sense" reasons, but you can generally imagine her somewhere between 26-30, probably.

- shes been through a lot and often copes with humor, which means she tends to come off the wrong way a lot of the time

- though open about her time in plasma, she doesnt like talking about how it affected her

- she speaks before thinking and often posts in bursts do to this

- she has a pretty shitty memory

MUSE LIST:

Timeline 1:

Tula Gagnon - @plasmaapologist (OC. 📍Unova. Birthday: January 1st)

Callisto Aoki - @cherishcherubi (OC. 📍 Kalos. Birthday: October 25th)

Iolana Kealoha - @teamskullkalos (OC. 📍Kalos. Birthday: April 12th)

Timeline 2:

Mari Pijotto - @marifromkoto (OC. 📍Paldea. Birthday: December 18th)

Katy - @patisserie-soapberry (Canon. 📍Paldea.)

Atticus - @navisquadatticus (Canon. 📍Paldea.)

Larry - @medali-gym (Canon. 📍Paldea. Half joke blog.)

Robin Lusk - @absolsrenegade (OC/Self Insert. 📍Unova. Birthday: July 5th)

Timeline 3:

Timeline Unknown:

Grise (Hilda Lewis) - @driftingtrainer (Canon. 📍 Vagabond. Birthday: October 5th)

Rochelle Ichihara - @basaltpowder (OC. 📍Hoenn. Birthday ??? )

Barbie & Ken: @championbarbie-swimmerken - (It's fucking Barbie. Yeah, the pink one. 📍 Everywhere. She's Barbie. Birthdays: March 9th, March 11th)

Ice - @rottenice OC. 📍Primarily Sinnoh, but travels a lot. Birthday: December 21st. Please read content warnings in the pinned post.

Miki Nakajima - @nakajima-lgm OC.📍 Johto. Birthday unknown. Please read content warnings in the pinned post.

@galacticfoundation - Team Galactic AU blog.

@twotoypokemon Pokémon Rumble based blog. Sapient Pokémon OC. 📍Axel Town

#yes. i was a platoon leader and had a sword. #yes. i do still own it. its good self defense when you dont have a pokemon who likes fighting. #pkmn irl #rotomblr #unreality #pokeblogging #[admin note: tulas current age is purposefully vauge for “pokemon timeline makes no sense” reasons] #[also i'm totally fine with your character having some beef with tula due to her... past employment. it does fit her character :)] #[if you have any questions for admin feel free to ask in the comments!]

[amazingmsme]

Curtwen hc time! Bc we always need some more of these. (And strap in theres a few—)

First things first, i ADORE your last hc with Curt finding out about Owen first. I love the lines of dialogue beforehand between the two of them so SO much. I like that Owen would be like "stop tickling!" rather than "stop tickling ME", makes him sound more british.

Alr here are my thoughts:

Curt obviously spends a lot of time on his hair to keep it ✨️perfect✨️, but actually so does Owen. Owen uses a lot of product to keep his longer hair silky and soft, while Curt uses product specifically for looks. SO Owen loves that when theyre making out his hair ends up all up in Curt's face. Curts squinting and squirming and like "Owehehen- use a hair tie!" and Owens like "I literally just washed my hair, I'm not going to ruin it now-" so Curt has to suffer through giggles.

I will always and forever adore Barb being unwillingly involved in the boys' lil games, SO— Curt keeps asking and asking Barb to buildnhim somrthing that'll help him get revenge on Owen, but he never specifies what he wants the invention to do. So Barb's like "Mega, if you cant tell me what you want the invention to DO, i cant make one for you!!" and Curt tries to explain it in the vaguest way possible so that 1) she doesnt think he only wants it for himself and 2) itll still do what he wants it to do. And wventually when she connects the dots she teases the hell outta him. Curt makes excuses about the 'bad guys' bring thrown offguard or itd be helpful in interrogations, but Barb says "no one would ever use tickling in an interrogation, Mega" and Curt doesnt have the willpower or pride to correct her.

Owen has ticklish arms. There i said it. He wore a tak top while he and Curt were cuddling, and Curt just traced lines up and down the soft skin of his inner/outer arm. He tries SO FREAKING HARD not to tense his muscles because he knows as soon as he does Curt will notice. So hes just like "Curt could you cut it out? You're nails are itching me." and tries to move out of the way. But Curt senses somethings up and prods him (figuratively and literally) about it until he spills. Owen's laughter from soft tickles is so much different from when he's "getting wreckt". Its very breathy and soft, and he covers his face with the back of his hand to hide himself, but doesnt actively lean away from the feeling. Curt gets heart-eyes and immediately wants to hear more. Owen's throwing insults at him to stop, but he just lays there giggling into the side of the couch.

Finally, LETS👏TALK👏ABOUT👏CURT'S👏TICKLISH👏EARS👏. Our canon. Our bread and butter. Curt originally hates wearing earpieces because Barb hadn't perfected the technology yet and it always buzzed. He got yelled at because one time on a very important mission in Budapest Curt was losing his gd mind with how tingly his ear was feeling and he had to take it off. When Barb couldn't get ahold of him, she knew she'd give him an earfull later. Curt also has issues with Owen. Now, Owen loves Curt's ears. He thinks theyre a cute shape and he loves that theyre so sensitive. Owen adores tracing them and pecking them. Depending on the day, Curt wil either get major goosebumps from Owen, or lose his shiy immediately as he did in the famous interrogation scene. Owen always keeps an ostrich feather in his coat pocket. He rarely uses it, but he likes that Curt knows its always there. Its like its watching him 👀

THAT is all i have, i know it is alot but i am obsessed w these two and i just aAA-

AAAAAAAAA THESE ARE SO FUCKING CUTE I’M DYING I NEED CPR STAT!!! These two are gonna kill me, they’re such fucking dorks I love them I love them I love them! & I love that it makes him sound more British, I didn’t even think of that but now that you pointed it out I can’t stop seeing it!

I absolutely LOVE the difference in hair care between the 2 because they both obsess over their hair in different ways. Curt will style & gel his hair before he even thinks about stepping out the door because he’s always gotta look his best. Meanwhile Owen takes fucking forever after his shower brushing it & putting products in it to help it grow, heal split ends, make it soft, literally the works. Curt’s always like what the hell takes you so long??? & Owen’s just like “you have your hair routine, I have mine”

But it makes his hair so silky smooth & soft & it’s the perfect length to brush against Curt’s neck & ears when they cuddle or make out & it makes him so blushy & giggly because wtf hair shouldn’t tickle! But Owen absolutely loves the fact that he doesn’t even have to use his hands to get him laughing

On a related note, his stubble is the bane of Curt’s existence, it should be illegal

& omg Barb is constantly flipping between extremely amused & very annoyed, these boys never give her a fucking break! She’s so patient with Curt trying to find out what the fuck he actually wants from her, but he won’t stop beating around the bush & is being vague af. So she’s just like “damn if you can’t even say it you can’t be trusted with it” & then he tries to make more of an effort to actually describe what it is he’s looking for & she just gets more amused by the second. & when she says no one would use that in an interrogation he like mumbles under his breath something like “well Owen did” or “must be an MI6 thing” & he’s just being classic sassy Curt but she hears what he said & is like wait a fucking second. “Curt you can’t be serious. Agent Carvour is a professional” & he’s getting flustered & huffy & just goes “yeah, a professional pain in my ass. So can you make it or what?” She has it ready for him by lunch the next day & demands a “full report” on the device’s performance. She even had a sticky note with it that just says “give him hell ;)”

FMVRMAGELW I AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH RN! TICKLISH ARMS ARE SO UNDERRATED! Sorry for yelling but this really has me in a chokehold. Owen is pretty averagely ticklish in all the normal spots, but I like to imagine he’s a lot more sensitive in harder to reach or more unconventional spots like his arms. Light touches here drive him up the fucking wall ok, he cannot take it whatsoever. Immediately breaks down in a fit of giggles. He tries to hold out, but breathy snickers always force their way out as he squirms around trying to suppress his wide dopey ass grin. Curt thinks it’s the cutest fucking thing he’s ever seen in his life, & he’s right. His forearms are pretty bad & he can’t help but twitch away with a huff of laughter when Curt brushes over the skin there. But his biceps? That’s a good way to kill him. Light tickles there will have him in shrill hysterics & squeezing the muscle will draw out full on belly laughs. Owen didn’t even know he was ticklish there until Curt, & so he was really trying to hide the spot from the both of them. Because what a stupid fucking spot to be ticklish, he did not need to know how sensitive that spot was & he really didn’t need Curt to find out either. But he can’t lie to him, so they went in a little journey of discovery together

Bro we’re so damn lucky that we got canon ticklish!Curt I literally couldn’t believe it! & on his ears no less, like that is legit one of my favorite spots! It’s just so sweet & cute & the way people giggle & scrunch their neck for protection is so kxganssmabfi & that’s his literal introduction to the show!!! Like he legit goes from suave spy who never cracks under pressure to cutest giggly dork in the world in seconds flat! Like wtf they can’t do that to me! But I fucking LOVE how he can’t handle the ear piece because he’s too sensitive there & he just straight up ditches it! & when they ask him about it he’s all dodgy & embarrassed & not giving a straight answer until Cynthia threatens not to pay him for the assignment if he can’t answer her & he just blurts it out, blushing so much & Cynthia just scoffs like “Jesus Mega, that’s it? Why didn’t you just say so, no need to make such a big fucking deal out of it” & he’s so shocked because he honestly expected a lecture about how a spy shouldn’t be ticklish, but she was cool with it??? & she can kinda sense what he’s thinking so she says “look, we’re all human, I get it. I’ll get Barb to make some adjustments” & he thinks that’s the end of it but now she just uses it to tease the shit out of him when he’s least expecting it

His ears are Owen’s absolute favorite spot because Curt is soooo cute & giggly when he tickles him there & it’s one of his worst spots, & he’s a bit of a masochist & likes to bully his boyfriend. & I’m fucking dying thinking about him carrying around that feather all the time “just in case” like just imagine the first time Curt stumbles upon it! Maybe he’s looking for something in his pocket or grabbing his jacket for him & he just freezes & turns completely red. & he pulls it out & looks at Owen like “what the fuck is this???” & Owen looks up & smirks like “well you should know what that is” all smug & shit & he fucking has the audacity to wink at him. He knows exactly what he’s doing, & Curt really can’t handle it

Also worth noting: this is one of the top pics that comes up when you google Owen Carvour

I love them so very much, if you couldn’t tell

#asks #fruitee-goose #saf headcanons #spies are forever headcanons #curtwen #owen carvour #curt mega #special agent curt mega #spies are forever #saf #ticklish!curt #ticklish!owen

[saltedcoffeee]

You can see in the prologue, it's a much more toned down version than the asshole he's playing in trial 2. He said damn ONCE, was tired of introductions, doesn't like speaking to ppl, wants to be in bed, etc. Trial 2, he's cursing like a sailor, disrespecting the dead, and saying remarks to the cast he cannot take back. It's partially the real him, but he's upping the ante by 100

"Is that you wanted to hear?" and "Does hearing that make you happy?"

He's flat out confirming this isn't the true him, and they're still believing him ;-;

THİS op u r so right. just double checking his past mini outbursts (even the one he has in the trial BEFORE the whole breakdown thing) makes it so painfully obvious hes forcing the asshole persona. its not fun for him either lmao hes trying to speedrun the trial to its bad end n its WORKİNG.

i think what i meant w that tag is that all the cussing/speaking patterns r different from what we were introduced to as being "the real him" which is just. to shorten it down some sad fucking guy who doesnt wanna bother w anything. oh n that makes me think he was being honest w the "fake" secret he revealed abt himself.

his whole schtick is rn v confusing obviously, its like he hand picks his battles in the most random of ways, but at the same time it makes sense. theres definitely an analysis to b made on what issues he actively deals w n what other things he weirdly shrugs off.

anyways all this to say the reason hes working overtime to make ppl hate him is its probably that its the route that (believe it or not) takes the least effort on his part to get this trial over. almost every big thing hes done over the course of this killing game was lazy to a fault:

hang out w n defend xander ? homosexuality easy friendship bc the guy was obsessed w him n sympathy points for later. get ppl to reveal their secrets n even tell one abt himself ? (possibly) reduces the chances of a kill -> trial -> less effort made + sympathy points for later. b nice to arei, hu n nico ? get ppl to like u n form alliances to protect urself. that last one esp can b SEEN bc hu fights for his sake more than he does lmao!

get ppl to hate you bc of ur poorly worded secret ? end the trial w a vote asap n fucking die, escaping any and all explanation ud have to provide in the off-chance u make it out.

TL;DR #1 david chiem apologist says he isnt a bad person, hes just incredibly lazy n therefore half asses decisions that eventually lead to his downfall.

#askies #TYSM FOR LETTİNG ME LOOSE LOL #and also so sorry abt this #drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdt chapter 2 spoilers #david chiem

[roseworth]

hi lauren 😌 ok if dc were to ever make the elusive jason and rose outlaws team, who would you choose as the third member

hiiiiii im sorry this took a few days to get to i put a lot of thought into it <///3

so first of all. my #1 dream outlaws team is jason rose connor kara lorena. im not even exaggerating when i say i have thought about this team (whose dynamics i mostly made up) at least once a day for MONTHS. i know some of those characters being on a team together doesnt make sense but you just have to trust me. it all makes sense in my rich inner world. and someday i may get into it but i have a lot to say

but if im abiding by outlaws tradition of a trio. i have multiple options of who besides jay & rose.

eddie: obvious answer. hes been friends with both of them so its very common to put him in outlaws. HOWEVER.... i dont really see him as an outlaw. im including him in this list because i like the idea of the three of them together but i dont think he would really fit on an outlaws team. hes kinda just a normal hero and i dont think he would be super into the whole idea of killing people the way jason and rose do

kyle: i just think that the dynamic of jason rose & kyle would be SO funny. disasters. rose with kyle is "he was nice to me like 8 years ago so hes my best friend forever" while jason and kyle. you know. are the most annoying people ever. plus kyles views on killing are sorta "i dont do it unless i really want to but i think its cool" so he would tolerate them

steph: this would be so much fun. mwsl gave me minor crumbs of a jason rose & steph team up and i havent been the same since. steph can be a little bit murderous as a treat and jason & rose are enablers. idk i just think being an outlaw could be good for her

roy: HEAR ME OUT. SHUT UP AND HEAR ME OUT. i could fix rhato roy. my thought is roy post-cry for justice where hes mourning his daughters death and pushing everyone else away. and jason & rose go "quit your job join our emo band" and he becomes an outlaw bc he wants to be Angsty and Away From Heroes but jason & rose are like "sweet we have a responsible adult now 👍" and. roy cannot be around people younger than him without accidentally becoming an older brother figure. also roy & rose make me go crazy so im doing this for ME

eddie fyers: this popped into my head as i talked about eddie bloomberg earlier and i cant stop thinking about it. can you fucking imagine

artemis: yeah yeah she was already an outlaw. but what if she was again in a cooler more homosexual way. jason & artemis had a good dynamic sometimes in rhato 2016 when lobdell wasnt being weird, and rose & artemis would be so much fun given that rose loves to pick fights and artemis would be able to pick her up and throw her. to me it would be good and i want these two to interact

grace choi: okay listen. i just really liked her in outsiders 2003. as a treat to me i think she should be worse. canon toxic dyke getting worse because of a non canon toxic dyke and her boytoy freak

dana harlow: DANA COME BACK. she was the best ever for the two (2) issues shes been in. and rose & dana would be soooooo good and i need it so bad

but ideal jason & rose dynamic is this↓ so maybe its better for everyone if they have a red hood & ravager team up. hand in unlovable hand.

#thank you so much for this question this is so fun to think about #the problem is i dont want any of these to be canon because i wouldnt wish rhato on my worst enemy #but inside my head.... comics are good #dc

[fecto-forgo]

top five evil girls go

LETS GOOOO

5.sectonia

GOD I LOVE SECTONIA i always love evil royals n egotistical girls n the way shes both n w such a tragedy of the loss of herself by the mirrors corruption of her making her seek perfection until its all in her mind.shes such a dysmorphia creature to me.rip queen fly high

4.cyn

i think cyn is by default an extremely funny character regardless of how you interpret her but i think the interpretation shes still her own consciousness but completely fine w everything the solver does bc of the horrors humans did to drones is just so fun i ADORE characters who r getting oh so silly abt revenge.also her not giving the solver access to the murder drones was sweet.but this is abt girls being evil not girls being nice so lets also say the tessa skin suit was so fucked up n fun theres no reason shed need that.ik the probabilities of this take on her being canonized in the final episode r next to none but i got told i can do wtv i want forever.also i approve of the autistic coding w her i am always begging for more evil autistic ppl <3

3.zan

ok i get.like.rly embarrassed when talking abt her outside of dms bc she means a lot to me in a personal sense but i just love her.sm.shes not only a rly fun character w her little mean nicknames n just.her.wonderful personality in general.but shes.so tragic oh my god she makes me miserable.her adoration of hyness for saving her n likely giving her a reason to live even though he ultimately never prioritized her n couldnt even afford to just move around her when she lost in the ritual place n even after he sacrificed her n her sisters after whacking them around as weapons n shields she still loves him so dearly.she just makes me so sad she deserves sm better than all this man.

that being said im giving her third place bc while i love the little evil pose at introduction n the willingness for destruction n the enthusiasm for the end of times n paradise she doesnt rly have a steak of successes.sorry girl youre a winner in my heart you literally did your absolute best n deserved that being acknowledged.also i want to murder your father.

also everytime i think abt her calling francisca n flamberge "darling franny and berge" my teeth rot its TOO sweet i can feel the cavities forming from all this sugar

also also the second star allies novels depiction of her makes me even more miserable we can already draw the conclusion she defends hyness mistreating her by how she talks abt him yOU DONT HAVE TO BREAK MY HEART BY SHOWING IT!!! N AFTER MAKING HIM EVEN MORE EXPLICITLY WORSE TOO!!!

also also also ik in star allies the sisters n susie all have that little hair flip animation but for some reason her doing it while sitting by herself in team clash deluxe is so cute to me.aw look at her :) i love her man

2.susie

as stated w cyns entry i adore revenge centered characters n the amount of atrocities susie does for all that is soooo fun.shes such a fascinating character to me.she gets sent to a dimensional hell n comes back to find the person she held onto coming back to is now the worst man alive n doesnt remember her at all.ofc the girl ends up Like That n does atrocities for her own ultimate goal of teaching him a lesson she grew up in hell where would she have gotten morals or any care for others.also shes pink n funny.rly shes the best of all worlds i hope she mechanizes meta knight again she seemed to have had fun w that :3

1.

Me 💖

bc im best girl...🩷

#ask #...oh goddd the zan section is so LONG nobody look at me #JUST REALIZED S.ECTONIAS SESSION IS SO TINY NOOO IM SORRY GIRL YOURE JUST V STRAIGHTFORWARD TO DESCRIBE

[ohtobearandomftblog]

you’re right about the not caring about canon anymore because 100 yrs quest fucking SUCKS man it’s just trash… like they’ve destroyed 90% of the good characters making them soooo OOC just to fit them into the str8 ships it makes me so mad especially because this manga was supposed to be about friendship but what ppl ONLY care about is romance and it’s not even good

i saw they royally fucked up natsu. somethin bout him not knowing what a library is even tho the first quest he and lucy go on is to break into duke everlue's LIBRARY. and that one ova and ending where natsu is in the fairy tail LIBRARY.

also something something laxus flirting with the fucking enemy something something laxus giving his COAT to the fucking ENEMY something something laxus KNEELING for the ENEMY bc her bullshit ass magic makes NO SENSE. look i know theyre tryina make laxus more "likable" or some bullshit so itll make sense when he gets with mirajane (bc lets face it its gonna be mira not cana or lisanna or whoever else unless hes getting with that eNEMY) but like. we've known he respects women. we know hes grown since the battle of ft. you dont need to show that hes a sub gentleman who'll kneel to more powerful women so itll make more sense when he gets with the she-devil. like at this point im wanting to boost laxus/freed art and fics even tho i really dont care for that ship. controversial opinion ik

my hyperfixations/special interests/somethin like that have rotated from one comfort media (ft) to another and that other is currently dbz so 1 thats why this has been even less active than before and 2

in dragon ball super they fucked up goku. apparently bitch doesnt know what a kiss is. HE HAS TWO KIDS. what the FUCK are you on about. i mean im 70% sure in db he didnt know what marriage was and thought it was food or somethin when chichi made him promise to marry her when they both grew up. but like. he was maybe 15, living in the wilderness, his grandpa having died some years ago, getting no education. THAT made sense. him not knowing what a kiss is??? I FEEL LIKE WE'VE SEEN HIM KISS HIS WIFE BEFORE. ON SCREEN. WHAT THE FUCK.

it looks like manga authors are in the era of beating more money out of their completed series to the point that theyre just beating a corpse now. theyre tryina squeeze more money and attention outta shit that was still pretty big without new "canon" content coming out.

#ohtobe talks #ohtobe asks #shonens have taken a turn for the worse. these two. boruto. black clover. whatever the fucks happening with bnha #like ive debated on reading 100yq JUST so i can rewrite it better as a fic #just gotta get through the ft anime... bc i am not suffering through the terrible manga art of the first some odd volumes #plus the anime only yet apparently canon to manga too arc #just gotta get past the... *shivers*.... /jiggle butt gang/ #i took a massive break from ft tbh bc dbz was slowly draggin me back in an then i learned abou the dbs movie with piccolo and gohan as mcs #which resulted in me writing a 12k+ one shot in a month and has still got me in a chokehold sdkljfk #ft 100yq #thats all this gets. it dont deserve more.

[sieglinde-freud]

i think the fell xenologue does a great job at characterizing some of the royals beyond the vanilla game mostly because every single royal has like one or two core principles that really make them who they are and so getting rid of those one or two things completely converts them into a completely different person. like alcryst losing his self doubt, celine loses her empathy, hortensia loses her resilience, etc etc. but i think my favorite version of this has to be fogado, who has in my opinion the most drastic change. i think all of the other royals have very outward presenting traits that you can easily catch onto and see theyve lost. but fogado is just a little different, because what fell fogado lacks isnt really a trait; he loses his sense of love. (rest under the cut bc it turned into an essay. my bad also fell xenologue spoilers obvs)

“our” fogado (?? idk how to differentiate between them. work with me here) is not an easy person to read in universe. he makes it very clear in chapter 13 that he’s pretty good at deception and is very willing to make use of that skill. his supports with timerra and pandreo also tell us he’s gotten used to keeping up a specially crafted persona meant to kind of suppress his feelings (that timerra and pandreo can see through but. like 1. theyre smart 2. sister and bff ok moving on). but he doesn’t do it out of malice or because he just likes being tricky, he lies because he loves. everything in fogado’s life is shaped by what he loves: his country, his friends, and his sister. every single motivation he has is fueled by this: the constant partying, how often he leaves the castle, all his acting. its even in his goddamn class name (cupido) and birthday (feb 14) if you needed the game to spell it out for you

so thats why when we get to the fell xenologue, the fogado we meet is changed in that one specific way: his love is gone. we know this because of a few things, the first of which is that he is honest. aside from the robe (in which he is assassinating someone! but also. lets be so honest with ourselves here. you can see his fucking face) he’s immediately upfront with his intentions: he wants the bracelets, he wants power, and he wants you to die. and thats it. he just kind of hands you that information, and then fucks off when you win. on what earth would our fogado do that? dude wouldnt even tell you if he broke his leg, he just partied a little hard last night. but thats just it isnt it? our fogado lies because he loves people, hes protecting them. fell!fogado is transparent because he’s not protecting anyone, he doesn’t care.

but the biggest kicker in fell!fogado’s lack of love is in his interaction with our timerra. our fogado loves his sister more than anything, as he literally plans his entire life around making HER life easier. he sacrifices even just spending time with her just because he needs to make sure hes fully prepared to keep her safe (not that timerra wants that for him but he doesnt really get that. which is another topic i could dive into but this post is long enough lets not make it a novel). fell!fogado though? well you see–

any love fogado holds for his sister, or any love at all really, is just not present in fell!fogado. and you could say that maybe its just because of the corruption, but then why do we still see love between the fierenese and brodian siblings? even fell!timerra still loves her brother if her conversation with our fogado is anything to go off of. but the writers know that fogado lives and dies on his love for people, its his entire being and so much more so than the rest of the cast. which is why thats what had to change in him for the fell xenologue. it wasnt really just a flip of the switch haha murder thing (though. it could have been handled better. lets be real) but it was the loss of everything that makes fogado him. and i think the fact that this gets to be highlighted in the dlc just makes base game fogado all that much more interesting, because it cements his motivation now that we know what he's like without it. fogado is a guy driven by love and its just fucking great

#fe fogado #ann gets engaged #im not really sure what compels me to type up gigantic rambles in the middle of the night but. whatever #anyways so next up on the agenda: my argument for why hes aroace— #ok kidding bc thats purely headcanon and has nothing to do with fogados motivations but cmon. let a girl dream. #anyways when i first started typing this out it was supposed to be like. four sentences about me liking the contrast between the fogados #whoops! #my hand mustve slipped #but idk i just like. i like talking about fogado bc i feel like not enough people really do #and like theres discussion about him but its usually either shipping stuff or unit viability #both of which are valid! its just that in those discussions fogado as a character takes a backseat #which is j such a shame bc. grerahhekkdke hes sooo compelling. im putting him in my washing machine #oh and then theres the racism in the fandom but. wow. fe fans and racism noooo way. so shocked #/s if that wasnt obvious #and THEN if there is discussion about him as a person theres like 50% chance its j ‘oh hes claude 2’ #which i have already expressed my frustration about as i love both of them and theyre j. so not the same. #but people assume bc they know claude they know fogado and thats just not true. its so not true. #whatever im not trying to make the tags longer than the post i just think fogado is neat :) #engage fav? yeah. top 10 fe character? ykw. probably #ok goodnight

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 33

welcome to the thirty-third fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Rose-Colored Boy by melancholymango

“I missed you, you know.”

“Yeah?” Lance sighed, warm and giddy, clearly not absorbing how serious the words truly were. Keith nodded his head for a few seconds, not trusting himself to speak around the size of his emotions. He was suddenly brought back to the years alone on the whale, when all he’d had to keep him going was memories of his friends, of Lance.

“Yeah.” Keith said, more certainty in his voice now. He reached down, hesitantly threading his fingers through Lance’s and giving his hand a squeeze. Lance tensed next to him. “I still do.”

“I mean, I’m right here.”

“Are you? You still seem pretty far away.”

again i know im not really big on those fics that make the team out to be deliberately cruel, but sometimes its cathartic tbh. sometimes you remember canon and ur just like yeah what if he got angry. what if someone got angry for him. what then. and mango gives us that

2. Swamp of Sorrows by SwissArmyKnife

Pike gets exposed to acidic ooze, which leads Block (& Keith) to make a few discoveries about their party’s rogue.

“We can't leave them like this,” Meklavar said of Valayun and Pike, who’d been laid beside the fire. "Look at how bad those welts are." She came up with a bottle of oil and a cake of soap. "I can smell water nearby. We can get them washed and roll them in a blanket to sleep off the spore. What do you think?"

"I think it's our only choice," Takashi said.

monsters and mana fic!!!!! everybody say YES to righteous anger on pike’s behalf. and also say yes to pike bc i love him. this fic is interesting bc its a little tense and awkward bc this ragtag team of misfits doesnt quite trust each other yet but they also cant quite stop themselves from caring about each other. so even though they dont all agree on eveyrthing and dont agree about all, they do agree that pike needs more care than he got. also unrelated but the fact that shiro’s m&m name is fucking takashi kills me every time like man just wants to be himself 💀

3. Beneath the Champagne Sea by SwissArmyKnife

The paladins make a diplomatic visit to a planet with sexual dimorphism roughly opposite that of Earth. Women are larger and more powerful, while men are leaner and smaller. Cue their horror at gaunt, sickly Pidge and mild disgust with the ’womanly’ Shiro. Lance hits the sweet spot. He's got the build and features to draw the eyes and the charm to keep them. Their hosts are quite taken with him, in particular the daughter of the queen, whose forwardness is a comic reversal of Lance’s usual dynamic with women. Lance likes the attention and finds her intriguing, but eventually things take a discomforting turn.

Lance tried to step around her, wanting to walk away from a conversation that seemed less and less likely to end well, but Leh’n seized his wrist before he could. Her grip was tight, and freeing himself would require an act of aggression, which he still wanted to avoid. ‘Think of the mission, of how important it is to get the castle up and running again,’ he coached himself.

Still, that did nothing to stop his blood pressure from skyrocketing as Leh’n leaned closer and said. “I am not accustomed to reluctance.”

i swear to god that ive recced this before, but i couldnt find it in my records so here it is!! this fic is endlessly fascinating. the exploration of gender roles is super interesting, considering who is impacted in this fic and how. the discussion about beauty standards, power imbalances, the alien wrench in things was so cool! and i think lance, who is very much someone who rides that gender lines in terms of presentation of hobbies and even chracter traits, makes sense as the main character here. interesting think piece. 

4. you had me at merlot by @ryomakun

“Oh my God,” Lance says as he covers his face. Keith’s tinny voice blares from his laptop speakers: “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.” See, this joke might have been funny if someone charismatic and charming had said it, but Keith’s flat voice and even flatter expression effectively kidnaps, tortures, and then decapitates any chance of it being remotely humorous.

--

Keith accidentally starts a YouTube channel. Lance, of course, refuses to be left out. It goes about as well as you'd expect. (Ft. copious amounts of wine and a truly shameless number of references to MyDrunkKitchen, DailyGrace, and general pop culture)

this fic is HILARIOUS. its one of the firsts i ever screenshotted for the scrapbook i have of fics that made me laugh out loud. i offer you this one part that really made me giggle: 

““It tastes good,” Keith says petulantly as he glares at the accusing finger Hunk has pointed at him. “No offense Hunk but that stuff you gave me for my twenty-first tasted like feet and antiseptic.”

“That was a merlot,” Hunk wails. “The good kind, too!”

Ignoring them, Lance stands in front of the rum selection. This is why he didn’t want to bring anyone. They might call him loud and embarrassing, but at least he doesn’t yell inside WalMart about the virtues of a “real red wine.” An elderly couple passes through, eying the bickering three. Lance resolutely pretends he is here shopping by himself.“

the way they are so ridiculous that LANCE of all people is embarrassed of them...cinema. also this fic is peak bc it has klance as enemies to lovers and childhood friends to lovers at the same time. iconique

5. Flayed by @admiralcanthackett

Lance gets hit with a face full of spores and it leaves him wracked with pain. Touch is the only relief he can find.

yes i know i tag this author all the time but in my defense there was a point in my life where i was OBSESSED with faer fics. truly. anyways this one has unexpectedly protective keith, like to a very high degree, and im loving the heavy themes of trust and emotional as well as physical vulnerability 

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#pretty varied this week tbh!! #anyways #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #team as family #lance & hunk #established klance #enemies to lovers #fic rec #fic rec friday #langts #monsters & mana

[negentropies]

hate being a hardcore plotter with terminal writer brain because i can't even fucking like something without picking it apart like a rotisserie chicken carcass and trying to fix all the weird holes in the plot that won't let me sleep at night

so anyway, heres a bullet point essay on my thoughts on the bhaal plot bc it doesnt make any fucking sense and its been driving me insane and patch 5 was just the final nail in the coffin

so bhaal's motivations are . muddy. in the case of most durges, it seems he crafted durge as his most perfect champion, let them get a little bit of life experience, and then led them to the bhaal temple where they became its leader with the intent of ???? murdering lots of people and getting more followers ?? i guess ???? omnicide only really became a possibility after they hatched the elder brain plot with gortash, but they were very much already a cult leader by then. regardless, we establish that as of ~15 years before the start of bg3, bhaal wants to use the brain to murder everyone in the world. HOWEVER. if you just so happen to be an oathbreaker paladin durge and face sarevok and become an unholy assassin, you get this dialogue:

this suggests that bhaal's goal is to walk the planes again? which doesnt seem like it would have anything to do with omniciding the world, since gods get their power from the number and fervor of their worshipers. as i see it (ty moth) his goals seem to be as follows: expand his divine portfolio and worshiper base to obtain greater divine status -> reclaim his divinity and re-ascend to full godhood -> rebuild his church into something more coherent and structured -> walk the planes again -> fuck with bane and myrkul

if the absolute plot succeeds and durge takes control of the absolute in bhaal's name, i see no reason why he'd rid himself of a massive new worshiper base, since followers of an exarch (durge in this case) also count as followers of an exarch's god (bhaal). if anything, it would make more sense for bhaal to EXPECT the absolute plot to fail. this way he fucks with myrkul and bane and gets rid of their chosen as well as substantial chunks of their followers.

like yeah, sure, having the entire absolute cult under his control would be cool. it'd probably make him a powerful enough deity to get him out from under bane's yoke once and for all. but it's also worth noting that bhaal hates bane SO fucking much. bane poached his servant loviatar to take her as his consort and then there was the Gortash Situation, so that hatred could mean he'd lose sight of that power and make it so he'd be happy if the elder brain plot collapsed, as long as it meant he could make bane look stupid or undermine him in the process.

this brings me to the new patch 5 epilogue, which inspired me to write down my ramblings in the first place. if you either lose to orin in the duel or you embrace bhaal, then destroy the elder brain, you become this urge-crazed, twitching murderer good for nothing except crashing parties and siring more bhaalspawn. which like . doesn't make sense to me? it's outright stated that durge becomes nothing but a vessel for bhaal. bhaal has been established as extremely patient and more than capable of cooking up plots that could span centuries (see: baldur's gate 1 and 2), so i don't know why he wouldn't just use his newfound puppet bhaalspawn as a mortal avatar to restore his church and facilitate his return to power in a faerûn where myrkul (bane also, but less so) had to take a step back to recoup.

the characterization of bhaal and pre-lobotomy durge makes me a little confused in general. gortash frequently talks about how intelligent durge was and how their strength came in their intense self-control, and in the fact that bhaal let them pick their battles. going off of this, i expected durge to be kind of a stick in the mud compared to the other bhaalists, and we get SOME of that? there's a journal entry you can find from durge to orin where durge insults her for "posing [her] corpse-dollies" instead of just killing and being done with it. however, from the flashbacks and other conversations with the bhaalists we get, our vivisection-loving cannibalistic necrophiliac doesn't really have a leg to stand on here. it really seems like the larian writers had two separate, incongruous visions for durge and tried to mesh them together to limited success

now can we talk about sarevok. can we talk about sarevok? can we talk about how utterly batshit insane it is that fucking SAREVOK, who literally attempted to usurp bhaal to become the new lord of murder, would have gotten so much power and favor from his father? it's clear from durge's internal narration that they hate sarevok's guts. they straight up get inspiration for killing him. so... why did durge ever answer to him? why did bhaal let his perfect clone and champion into the hands of a son he hates and who tried to usurp him?

which all leads me to my conclusion that the baldur's gate temple of bhaal is, in fact, a heretical sect. and more importantly, that durge was led to it with the intent that after they'd exhausted the temple's use, they would off sarevok once and for all, gut the temple completely, and rebuild something new and worthy of their father from the ashes.

everyone at the bhaal temple is interested pretty much exclusively in the ritualistic aspects of murder, while in contrast, durge is (stated to be) more interested in efficiency and (apparently?) restoring their father to power and helping him walk the physical planes once more. again, this is all incongruous with other aspects of their characterization, but i'm going to chalk that up to messy writing. this would also track with durge being raised outside of the bhaal temple, ensuring that no matter what, bhaal would get to them before the temple did. sceleritas fel in particular is shown to be loyal to durge and bhaal exclusively, while not caring for orin or sarevok. the pieces are all here for a religious schism that just . never happens

so, if we pick up some of what larian is putting down and ignoring the rest, a possible version of events would be:

-> sarevok the attempted usurper establishes the temple of bhaal in baldur's gate as a niche, heretical sect focused exclusively on ritualistic murder, with no intention of expanding bhaal's portfolio beyond that

-> bhaal crafts durge, lets them form an identity outside the temple, then brings them in to lead, use, and subsequently destroy the baldur's gate bhaalists

-> durge and gortash hatch the elder brain plot. no matter if it succeeds or fails, bhaal will still win one way or another, whether it be getting a new legion of followers through his exarch or by crippling myrkul and sticking it to bane

-> orin (and probably sarevok) misunderstands bhaal's edicts, interpreting them as him wanting to use the brain to murder everyone in the world. orin fucks everything up when she lobotomizes durge but tbh, that still doesn't really matter. either she dies and bhaal gets rid of a heretical and unstable spawn or she becomes his puppet, just like durge should have in their bad ending

going off bhaal's characterization for the previous games, he is fundamentally a patient plotter with lots of foresight and also immense rizz. omnicide via elder brain is like . the stupidest scenario for him when there is so many other different ways to take this. where is bhaal sending in his perfect murder catholic spawn into a den of murder pagans !! where is the bhaalist religious schism !!!!!

thank u for coming to my ted talk

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #i guess #LARIAN !!!! LARIAN WHEN I CATCH YOU !!!!!! #.txt

[jackienautism]

I’m kinda surprised that you don’t like Dylan? He seems to be such the fan fav I don’t think I ever actually seen anyone rank him so low on their list- what’s your opinions on his character?

yeaah i just didnt really vibe with him when i played, plus i got pretty annoyed seeing him everywhere before getting into the game (travis too but thats a whole nother thing). like good for all you guys for having fun but i just cant get into it

im gonna be honest about my opinions on him so if you reeaaaaally like dylan i recommend not reading. and i mean that genuinely

1.ive just. i immediately saw dylan as one of those like male characters that get super popular in a fandom bc he: is white.is a guy. is a brunette. is associated w/ a gay ship. and is fit under a "bad boy / mentally ill / misunderstood" trope. i truly and honestly dont care if someone likes these types of characters. as long as you're not a fucking freak, i dont give a shit what you do. its just such a prominent trend that should make you go HMMMMM fandom hates women and people of color! and basically im just sick of that trend! so seeing dylan also fit into it turned me super off lmao

2. in relation to his character, i think its fine, i guess, its nothing revolutionary. especially in regards to other supermassive characters.... i thought about this during work one day and like. emily has a similar character to dylan LOL and ive had this thought before but. dylan and emma are also very similar character wise! in terms of like. compensating ina very negative way due to insecurity! but you know whch characters get the most flack for being dicks? for being bitches? for being the worst? and you know who doesnt?

3. i also particularly hated the thing he did to abi during the camp fire scene. like. i dont care if you compensate by making jokes and shit, you're still an asshole. and so is emma. and so is emily. i dont understnad why dylan should get ANY different treatment. but anyway, that dare was absolutely targeted towards abi and nothing will change my mind on the matter. abi is very clearly on the outside of the group. hell, the entire time everyone (mainly kaitlyn and emma) makes comments about how incompetent abi is when it comes to dating anf shit. and so for dylan to ask what he did? it put her on the fucking spot and humiliated her. i dont care if he "saves" it if you dont interrupt as ryan, there's absolutely no way hes unaware of abi's standing social wise in the group. him asking HER that of all people is just shitty. he fucking knows what abi's answer is gonna be. and even though she never answers the question, the damage is already done.

and before anyone says anything, i know nick also was targeted in diff ways for being "incompetent" in this specific sense. which is another conversation im willing to have. but even so, rthe comment ryan still makes bout not letting that "prep aesthetic fool you"? and the way he kisses emma? he clearly has got some "game" or whatever the fuck. whereas abi doesn't really have any of those moments (except for kissing nick first, which is something kaitlyn ryan and dylan said she wouldnt do LOL). and speaking of kaitlyn? and in association, emma? what they did to abi is one of the things i hate most about them and what happens in game. its actually what made me begin to DISLIKE both of them when it happened. basically what im saying is, kaitlyn and emma arent exempt from this criticism just because i dont like dylan. and i also dont care if thats the "point" of truth or dare. it still makes all the characters involved fucking dicks. they know how abi is like, emma especially, so seeing them all pull this shit is just disheartening and sad.

and 4. i like being hastag different

#the quarry #asks #anon #mine #text #hopefully this is competent #my thoughts #jesscourse #discourse #[emma mountebank voice] ok :) i’m done #my TQ tag #TQ