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goth-pod · 3 months

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Goth-Pod Ep 5: Gotham Troubles

Welcome Back! Listening to you send ins, Juda Boone talks about things by Gothamites, for Gothamites!

[goth-pod is a fictional in-universe podcast based on the DC comics universe. Juda Boone is an original fictional character, not based on any real person or known comic book character.]

Transcript under the cut

Hello everyone and welcome to Goth-Pods special trials and troubles episode! I’m an indie theater’s take on the ghost of Christmas Present- and your host, Juda Boone.

We're looking at your submitted trademark Gotham problems. So without my usual ramblings, lets get to business

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For our first submission username Trekkle brought up a good debate: Subway vs Bus: The Subway is safer, since buses can get hit during rogue attacks, but if you're stuck underground there's a chance of a killer croc attack and also the birds ride the roof.

Fantastic points, Trekkle! Thank you for writing in. I don't know exactly what you mean by the birds riding the roof, though. Do you mean Robin? Because I have been on the tram while a fight was happening between Robin and The Penguin on top. Of course, I missed most of it because I had my headphones in. Noise cancellation has its pros and cons in Gotham.

There’s no set answer on this one, I don’t think. You kind of have to pay attention to what Rouges are active the way you pay attention to the weather. Cloudy with a 70% chance of a Riddler scheme? Maybe take the Buses, since they’re not connected to a maze-like system like the subways are. But maybe it's sweater weather with a possible freeze-over because Victor Fries broke out two nights ago and is due for a showy return. Then an underground bunker with cushy seats doesn’t sound too bad.

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From Clexx we have: I'm new to Gotham (full ride scholarship, thank you Mr. Wayne): Why does everyone hate Superman? I tried to get answers from a friend and they called Superman a Homewrecker. Is there an infidelity scandal around Superman I don’t know about??

Oh wow. First of all, congratulations on the scholarship! I'm assuming you're attending Gotham U? Just be sure you get a proper Rogue-proof gas mask. Yes there is a difference. It’ll probably be covered in your Orientation though, so onto the main question.

To the Homewrecker comment.. oh I didn’t think it’d come to this. Okay, there's this thing in Gotham. Clexx, have you ever heard of Bruceman? Ask your friend about it, they’ll probably love to explain more. Basically it is a Real-Person based Ship on Gotham’s two protectors, Bruce Wayne and Batman. One watching over the day, the other the night.

This is another Topic that might take all episodes to explain, so to keep it short: People see Superman and Batman’s relationship- professional, platonic, romantic, or however they define it- as a threat to Bruceman, the number one Gotham Ship. Godspeed if you get between our beloved prettyboy himbo and our odd night-stalking cryptid.

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From Allison: My cousin is visiting and I want to show them why I stay in Gotham. Where can we go for 1) a low level rogue attack (for Bat sighting), and 2) where can we go for a Wayne sighting. (They think Dick Grayson is hotter then Brucie [eye-rolling emoji])

For the first one, I think any part of our public transport system will do, as we discussed before. The tricky part is knowing when it’s going to be low-level or if your cousin will be joining you in a shelter-in-place lockdown.

For a Wayne sighting, unfortunately it’s harder to say these days. Bruce Wayne has made several statements on how he’s spending less time at the company in order to focus on bonding with his new son, Jason. I hate to disappoint, but right now might not be the time for celebrity sight-seeing. Maybe take a day trip to Bludhaven! Your cousin might enjoy the chance to convince you instead.

Thank you all for writing in and for joining us on this special episode! If we didn’t get to your submission, head over to our socials to see if we replied there. I’m Juda, you’re listening to Goth-Pod

Until then, Newcomers, visiting cousins, locals on the bus, Stay safe, Gotham.

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blysse-and-blunder · 3 months

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in lieu of a commonplace book

saturday, jan 27, 2024

*brennan lee mulligan voice* heeeeeeeelllllllllllllloooooooOOOOOOOOO one and all and welcome back for another thrilling episode of...whatever this is. thank you for being here.

It's 2024! Say hi, intrepid heroes!

reading recently finished:

-orwell's roses by rebecca solnit (audio) - glad I listened, ultimately very gratifying - history, criticism, extremely lush garden-filled prose and love for growing things - nona the ninth by tamsyn muir - felt so much about [redacted] it made me cry. i can unblock ALL THE TAGS NOW - the blue sword by robin mckinley (audio) - catching up on old school fantasy continues -when the angels left the old country by sacha lamb (audio) - beautiful. not not in conversation with good omens but doing something different.

recently begun: -the ministry of the future by kim stanley robinson - can't decide if it's a scifi novel or a policy brief about ways to combat climate change- reading on my mom's recommendation -babel: an arcane history by r.f.kuang - withholding judgment, but i know you probably want me to hate it and so far i don't, really! to my own surprise -the shadow of the wind by carlos ruiz zafrón (audio) - spooky, post-modern but incredibly good at sounding like it is of the time it depicts. many thoughts on the audio book narrator's accent work, most favorable -one corpse too many by ellis peters. wild that i have only just begun reading the cadfael mysteries

listening last week was about discovering and putting on continuous loop the group trousdale on the recommendation of @m2pixie (!) and other trusted friends; the energy, the harmonies! they fill a girl group void i didn't realize i had, it feels like the best kind of throwback, like old chicks or something, some desperately needed bops. exhibit a: bad blood.

today my daylist introduced me to joy oladokun and i'm so glad it did. love her vibe, love this cover art. had to take a picture of my desk, the visuals were so satisfying.

watching the newest series of netflix's lupin!! so far i'm really, really enjoying where this season has been spending most of its time-- the new characters, the new heists, the new stakes. especially fun to watch with friends where we can all shout about the mrs doubtfire of it all, the betrayals, the misdirection, the 'he can't keep getting away with this!.' the original lupin series will always bring back memories of watching it in early lockdown; i'm glad that there's this now to think about and remember instead.

playing hollow knight hollow knight hollow kniiiiiiight. bought it a few months ago when it was on sale, after hanging out and watching @dimir-charmer stream for us a bit, but playing it yourself is a different game. i'm having a blast. it's becoming a problem. i'm having to be so so good and mature in how much i let myself just get suckered in to a full day spent in my little buggy maze adventures. the temptation to keep going until i've made a meaningful advancement of some kind (today: got the longer nail! last time: beat hornet! saved zote the mighty, got the baldur shell charm, and beat the gruz mother!) is very, very real. have also gotten around this by listening to lots of lo-fi hollow knight beats to relax and study to while being 'productive.'

(found this screenshot online, and holy extra health batman)

making pancakes. lots and lots of weekend pancakes. sent a bunch of mail since new year's, and have some new arts and crafts (charcoal pencils!! those little paper cone blender guys! better paper) to fuck around with next time i want to get ~artistic. watch this space.

working on teaching is so all-consuming. it's great, i love it. the course (maps class! if you see that tag, this is that) is going well, i think! first three lectures down. the students i've gotten to know i really like, the material has yet to get old (see one - do one - teach one is so real. i understand this class now, finally, in a way i don't think i did just being the TA, even after three times). it takes so much longer to just copy-paste-change color and font on slides than it should! i've regularly been getting four-five hours of sleep on monday nights before teaching on tuesdays, but it has meant that i don't have the brain space to be self-conscious while i'm 'on', i just. go. having fun selecting teaching 'fits, having (less) fun handling all the students who joined in the second or third week and need help with catching up, but it's not their fault there was a waiting list and lots of turnover.

(petrus roselli - portolan chart of the mediterranean, 1466)

non-teaching: - student letter of recommendation for dental school (DONE) - conference panel proposal (due 1/31) -submit revised conference paper for that prize (due 1/30) -send draft of grant application to A for her to be able to write a letter of recommendation (due IMMEDIATELY WHY ARE YOU ON TUMBLR) (you have until 2/15 to fix it but she needs the draft!) -chapter 3 edits (lmao) -read for that other course you're meant to be the TA for (oops) - give i. feedback on her thing (tonight) -RAship hours (c'mon these are actually paid work, please do them)

#in lieu of a commonplace book #phone didn’t autocomplete that tag which just proves it’s been a MINUTE #ilcb #weekly roundup #Spotify

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sl-newsie · 17 days

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Behind Masks (Dr. Jonathon Crane x OC) Ch. 7: Escape

“What exactly did he put into the water system?” I ask Montoya as she shifts through paper files.

I’m currently waiting in Crane’s former office (that feels so good to hear!) while the detective is looking for my records.

“We’re not sure. Batman’s going to run some tests-”

“Batman?” My head perks up.

“Yes. He’s the one who found out about Crane’s operation. Some say he’s overstepping his boundaries and doing our work for us. Personally I think he’s a concerned citizen who’s trying to help clean out Gotham.”

Could this new vigilante be the answer? For weeks I’ve been waiting for justice to strike. If this Batman character causes the mob to get shaky then surely the rest of the scum in Gotham won’t dare to stand out anymore.

Another 20 minutes of searching goes by and I hear Montoya sigh.

“I’m sorry Dr. Prentiss but there’s complications with some of the paperwork. Your file’s not on record here.”

My mind does a flip-flop. “But that’s good, right? That should mean I’m not an inmate here.”

“Sadly that’s not the case now. A law just passed stating that any prisoner found without proper records is to be kept on lockdown until ID is recognized.”

“B-But I do have an ID! Just call my boss back in Metropolis, please!” I’m starting to shake. Whether it be from nerves or anger is unclear. “I am not insane!”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to remain here for the next week or so.” Montoya says calmly and walks out of the office, locking me inside my twisted psychiatrist’s lair.

That’s it, then. 10 years spent studying psychology and I wind up in a nuthouse as a patient forever.

Time truly is relative, because the clock shows I’ve only been in here for one hour but to me it feels like an entire day. Crane’s chosen decor of past MRI scans and ink blot tests don’t do any help to calm my spasming thoughts. When the sound of jingling keys rings through the air I almost think I’m imagining it.

“Not to fret, Dr. Prentiss,” Baxton taunts smugly and cuffs my limp hands, tugging me up and pushing me down the familiar beige hall. “You can consult your complaints with your new inmate Dr. Crane.”

Sounds peachy-keen.

Baxton stops in front of a cell and unlocks the door to shove me inside. This cell is similar to my old one except it’s more padded and instead of a bed there’s a single chair. One that is occupied by none other than Dr. Jonathan Crane, who’s wrapped tightly in a full body straightjacket. Just as before his eyes are wide and keep staring into an invisible abyss.

“What happened?” I ask the guard.

“The Batman sprayed him with an unknown gas. We think it’s a hallucinogen.”

I know exactly what kind of gas he used. Crane finally got a taste of his own medicine. Literally. Once Baxton walks off I casually strut up and kneel down to be at eye level with the crazed doctor.

“Well well well. Got what’s coming to you, Dr. Crane.”

If there’s any part of him that’s somewhat sane he does little to acknowledge he sees me. “Scarecrow…” He mumbles.

“Oh, excuse me,” I apologize sarcastically. “Scarecrow. How does it feel to have your brain turned inside out?”

“It’s… dark. Very dark…” He whispers, eyes flitting all over my face as if I’m about to attack him.

“Poor Johnny, all tied up. Who’s laughing now, hm?” I rest my chin on my fists and continue to stare as he breaks down further. “How long is the medicine supposed to last? If it was anything like what you gave me then it shouldn’t be but a few hours. Although from what I see here it looks like Batman gave you a stronger dose.”

At the mention of Batman Crane’s eyes get wider and he starts shaking. “Scarecrow…”

There’s no use trying to reach him. I remember back during the first few days of my experiments that it can take days to filter out what’s real and what’s fantasy. If Crane weren’t such an emotionless pain I might actually feel sorry for him.

What to do now… Since Crane’s the one who’s kept me locked in Arkham then maybe I can get some leverage to escape.

“Knock knock.”

I look up at the new voice and see we have company. A group of 3 inmates has gathered outside our cell and the leader is twirling a familiar set of keys.

“Did Baxton take the evening off?” I peer suggestively at the keys.

“Let’s just say it’s time for our own therapy appointment with Dr. Crane,” the lanky man with the keys says darkly. He’s the very definition of an Arkham patient. Crazed eyes and a shaved head.

Adrenaline surges through me and my reflexes kick on. I step in front of Crane to block him from the inmates’ view. The only thing separating him from being pummeled is me and the cell door- which the inmate leader is now unlocking.

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way, toots,” a taller brute says.

Hm. I suppose Crane does deserve a good talking to. Maybe some criticism is just what the doctor ordered-

Thud!

The bigger inmate’s fist collides with Crane’s jaw and he goes limp. This triggers the other two inmates to join in.

Oh no. My first prison riot.

“Wait- Oh God!” I grab a hold of one’s jumpsuit and try to tear him away. “What are you doing? Stop! You’re hurting him!”

“Since when do you have sympathy for this freak?” The smallest one seethes. “He tested on all of us!”

“You of all people should know he needs to pay for it!” The leader jabs at me. “We heard he’d drug you up every single day. He must be punished!”

“But not like this! This isn’t justice-!”

Bang! Bang!

The sound of a baton lifts my hopes. Baxton’s back! Maybe he finally came to his senses-

“Come on. Let’s go.”

He grabs my ponytail and yanks me into the hallway. I try to pull away but Baxton grabs me from behind and drags me further away.

“But you can’t just-!”

Slap!

A sharp pain stings my cheek from where Baxton slapped me. “Let’s go. Now!”

I’m shoved into an empty cell and he stands in the doorway with a sinister grin.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

My eyes narrow. Where are the other guards? Can’t they see what’s happening? They should call the police! This is against all protocol! “You can’t ignore a prison riot! This is anarchy!”

Baxton shrugs. “Gotham is anarchy, princess.”

My eyes flash in an angry sneer and I clutch the brute’s shoulders to give his privates a stiff blow. He crumples to the ground and cries out in agony, too stunned in pain to form words.

I lean down and get in his face. “It’s Prentiss!” I hiss.

Quickly I snatch the gun from his holster and rush back towards Crane’s cell. Inside I find the doctor barely conscious and the three inmates glaring down at his beaten face. I hope this works.

Bang!

I fire a warning shot into the ceiling and everyone jumps to look at me.

“Stand down. Now!” I speak firmly but still maintain the persona of a therapist. “Take a deep breath and go back to your cells.”

The tallest one looks apprehensive but the others simply shrug and stride out. “Our work is done here.”

Yes. Their work has left the fear doctor in rough shape. A black eye is starting to spread onto Dr. Crane’s left eye and there’s a bad cut on his lip. And those are just the visible injuries. Lord knows what they’ve done to his internal organs.

“You’re coming with me.”

I unlock the chair he’s strapped in and wheel him down to his office. With his assistance and a little luck I can find what I’m looking for.

“Where’s the antidote?” I speak directly to him.

There must still be part of his sane self left because his eyes dart to look at a painting of Sigmund Freud. I step closer to feel around the frame’s edge and find a handle. Giving it a firm tug, the picture swings away on a hinge to reveal a hidden cupboard. Inside there’s an arrangement of test tubes and vials, each labeled with Crane’s scribbled writing. How do I know which one to use?

“Crane, which one is it?” I point to the cupboard.

The dazed doctor lifts his head up. The only response I get is a small hum. I guess I just have to pick one and hope for the best.

One vial in the front has the freshest writing, which leads me to believe it’s Crane’s most recent antidote. That’s my best shot. But how is it administered? Batman sprayed Crane with a gas, while I’ve only been injected with serums. Is the antidote supposed to be inhaled or injected?

“Scarecrow!”

Jesus! Crane’s sudden outburst makes me jump. His condition is deteriorating. It’s now or never.

“This is going to hurt,” I explain in a doctor-patient manner as I dig out a syringe from the desk and sterilize it. Now I just need to figure out how to get his arm exposed without Crane going ballistic. He’s starting to shake and break out in a sweat. “Just… try to hold still.”

I pick up a scalpel and slice a hole in the straightjacket. Crane sees this and shakes even harder. I need to be quick.

“One, two, three.”

“Ah!”

Crane winces when the needle pricks his pale skin. How long am I supposed to wait? What if there are side effects? Any allergic reactions? My on-a-whim thinking is starting to make me double-guess if this was the best option-

“What happened?”

Crane’s normal voice strangely seems to calm my nerves. I used to shiver at the sound of it but now instead of him being a creep it means he might be back to normal. His eyes aren’t as feral and he’s stopped shaking, looking around the room as if just awakened from a deep sleep. He takes one look at me and then notices the jacket he’s wrapped in.

Crane quirks an eyebrow. “Care to explain, Dr. Prentiss?”

I set the used syringe down and take a deep breath. “Batman sprayed you with a toxin. You’ve been in a deranged state for the past 72 hours. I’m the only one who thought to look for the antidote.”

“Hm. And care to explain why my face feels like I collided with a brick wall?”

Oh. Right.

“Some inmates chose to administer self-justice and nearly snapped you in two. I’m sorry I couldn’t stop them in time but I was being detained at the moment.”

Crane nods, still with a peculiar look. “How did you escape your cell?”

“Persuasion.”

“Sexual favors?”

I smirk. “You could say that. I kneed the guard in the crotch and persuaded him to let me escape.” I walk closer and kneel down to look at him with almost taunting eyes. “What was your plan, Crane? Before it all went south?”

The doctor’s brow furrows in confusion. “Gordon was in here asking me the same thing. Why should I tell you?”

“You have nothing to lose.”

“Are you going to knee me in the crotch too?”

I huff. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? No. I’m asking nicely.” Since he’s being resistant to the person who just gave him his sanity back I see no reason to help him anymore. My conscience is clear. “If you’re not worth my time I’m going to leave this God-forsaken place without you.”

Dr. Crane still has the same befuddled look as I stand up to leave. “I’m the one who tortured you. Why come back for me?”

I shake my head and turn to look at him with new-found sincerity. “You didn’t torture me. You helped me grieve.”

Something flashes in Crane’s eyes. Something I’ve never seen before- But in a split second it’s gone again and it’s back to his cold, calculating stare.

“You’re going to escape?”

“Yes.”

Crane tosses his head back and forth, seeming to decide his options. “If you release me I can get you out. Sadly I don’t think the staff is going to let me just waltz out of here after my… episode. Between that and your record of defying corrupted judges we’ll both have to go off the grid.”

“Agreed. I say we make a deal to get each other out. Then as soon as we’re past Arkham’s gates we go our separate ways.” I clap my hands together and walk closer. “Now that you’re your usual twisted self again am I right to assume it’s safe to remove the jacket?”

Screee! Screee!

Ow! A new alarm blares throughout the PA system. I have to cover my ears to block the painful noise. Unfortunately Crane has no use of his limbs.

“Prison break!” I try to yell over the sound.

I walk back to the doorframe to get a better look outside. Baxton better not be- Oh my God.

“Crane… Arkham’s not that old, right? Please tell me there isn’t a button that releases all inmates at once?”

A few seconds go by and then Crane yells back: “Yes. There is.”

“Uh-huh. Now my next question: how easy is it to access that button?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because someone pressed it.”

It’s complete chaos. A human zoo. Dozens of inmates are sprinting up and down the hall, ranting and raving in every form of insanity possible. From what little I’ve seen so far there’s already been multiple fractures and abrasions. There’s no telling what damage they will do once they get ahold of weapons.

Uh-oh.

A tall man in dark clothing steps towards me. He is no inmate, yet his vicious gaze is enough to earn him a cell here just as much as the others. He pays no attention to me as I step out of his way and he tosses a familiar burlap mask onto Crane’s lap.

“Time to play.”

#jonathon crane #jonathon crane x reader #dr jonathan crane #scarecrow x reader #scarecrow #poison ivy #the riddler #harley quinn #the joker #two face #the penguin #batman #batman begins #the dark knight #the dark knigth rises #gotham #gotham tv #cillian murphy

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zahri-melitor · 1 year

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War Games

Well, that lived up to expectations. Let’s break this down. The Good:

This is actually a very tightly, well plotted story. Everyone got to star in their own books and got individual focus, there was no overlaps or weird gaps in the storytelling, the mysteries were there but guessable. Pity about the plot contents.

Orpheus and Onyx as characters and in giving some more minor vigilantes page time. (I’m sorry you’re dead, Orpheus)

Tim and Jack Drake having a meal together on top of Leslie’s Clinic. I know FULL WELL this scene exists simply to make Identity Crisis more painful, but Tim deserved to have a good moment with his dad. Also Dana actually getting to be competent at her job on page (physical therapy)

Selina’s character progression that she now rates full billing in a Bat event. We’ve gone from ‘reluctantly teaming up after Tim begged her to’ (Contagion) to ‘appears during the event to complete tasks but apart from everyone else’ (NML) to now ‘part of the team and working with everyone else’ (War Games).

Not Dick and Tim concealing simultaneous breakdowns during this event but coming back to work in Gotham because they’re needed! Pushing through with ‘I’m Fine’ because there’s no time to concentrate on your distress, there’s gang warfare to disarm! No way to tell they’re brothers, your honour.

Bruce and Jim Gordon having one of their debates over the ethics of Batman in Jim’s garden. I’m a sucker for this scene every time it occurs.

The Unexpected:

Tarantula being around so much in this event. Like seriously, I did not even realise she appeared here.

On the flipside, we’re doing a GANG AND MAFIA WARFARE plotline and Helena isn’t invited? Cmon. Helena and Dinah could have been in between missions, Dinah’s helped out for events that way before.

Lynx getting offed by another Ghost Dragon RIGHT after she finally got to fight with Cass? I CALL SHENANIGANS. How could you do this to me in a book that wasn’t Robin. At least you finally got to have your ass kicked by Cass though, Lynx.

The Bat editorial office just going there. Robin, as a book, is about the relatable teen issues of Tim Drake and how that interferes with him being Robin. Robin had a school shooting where Tim had to protect his classmates, enforce a lockdown, assist with escaping, and perform CPR on Darla. You know what? Unfortunately, that’s a relatable teen issue in modern America, from what I can tell. (I do not think being so relatable was necessarily their intent in 2004, though it WAS still very post-Columbine, but in hindsight, ooof)

The Bad:

After Dick and Babs getting to direct the past three major Bat events (Officer Down, Last Laugh and Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive) it was more irritating than I expected having Bruce in charge and ordering everyone around while not sharing information.

Particularly the bad behaviour towards Babs. Bruce, I know she’ll argue back, but you were a complete asshole to her on multiple occasions and disrespected how necessary she is to getting things done in these situations.

Actually just generally, you were a dick the entire event, Bruce, especially for a situation you essentially caused. (Oh no my protocols got enacted and it went badly immediately is a default Batman plot for a reason).

Also on the ‘oh so we’re writing them in the bad end of their personalities’ train was Babs, who got to be catty and jealous over Tarantula because Catalina’s into Dick. And look I KNOW this level of grudge holding is part of Babs’ personality, but at least with Helena there were multiple reasons Babs was snippy. Let her acknowledge more often the whole “hey I don’t like Tarantula for SHOOTING PEOPLE” side of things rather than just being generically jealous. (It’s so frustrating as there are at this exact moment so many reasons for Babs to hate Catalina, and yet the writers were pushing the most boring one).

The Ugly:

Look, your tolerance for reading this entire event rests on how much lovingly illustrated graphic torture you’re willing to read. There’s no getting away from that fact.

What else is there to say here that hasn’t been said before?

#dc #z canon read throughs #war games

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mcmansionhell · 4 years

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Coronagrifting: A Design Phenomenon

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled content to bring you a critical essay on the design world. I promise you that this will also be funny.

This morning, the design website Dezeen tweeted a link to one of its articles, depicting a plexiglass coronavirus shield that could be suspended above dining areas, with the caption “Reader comment: ‘Dezeen, please stop promoting this stupidity.’”

This, of course, filled many design people, including myself, with a kind of malicious glee. The tweet seemed to show that the website’s editorial (or at least social media) staff retained within themselves a scintilla of self-awareness regarding the spread a new kind of virus in its own right: cheap mockups of COVID-related design “solutions” filling the endlessly scrollable feeds of PR-beholden design websites such as Dezeen, ArchDaily, and designboom. I call this phenomenon: Coronagrifting.

I’ll go into detail about what I mean by this, but first, I would like to presenet some (highly condensed) history.

From Paper Architecture to PR-chitecture

Back in the headier days of architecture in the 1960s and 70s, a number of architectural avant gardes (such as Superstudio and Archizoom in Italy and Archigram in the UK) ceased producing, well, buildings, in favor of what critics came to regard as “paper architecture.” This “paper architecture” included everything from sprawling diagrams of megastructures, including cities that “walked” or “never stopped” - to playfully erotic collages involving Chicago’s Marina City. Occasionally, these theoretical and aesthetic explorations were accompanied by real-world productions of “anti-design” furniture that may or may not have involved foam fingers.

Archigram’s Walking City (1964). Source.

Paper architecture, of course, still exists, but its original radical, critical, playful, (and, yes, even erotic) elements were shed when the last of the ultra-modernists were swallowed up by the emerging aesthetic hegemony of Postmodernism (which was much less invested in theoretical and aesthetic futurism) in the early 1980s. What remained were merely images, the production and consumption of which has only increased as the design world shifted away from print and towards the rapidly produced, easily digestible content of the internet and social media.

Architect Bjarke Ingels’s “Oceanix” - a mockup of an ecomodernist, luxury city designed in response to rising sea levels from climate change. The city will never be built, and its critical interrogation amounts only to “city with solar panels that floats bc climate change is Serious” - but it did get Ingels and his firm, BIG, a TED talk and circulation on all of the hottest blogs and websites. Meanwhile, Ingels has been in business talks with the right-wing climate change denialist president of Brazil, Jair Bolsonaro. (Image via designboom)

Design websites are increasingly dominated by text and mockups from the desks of a firm’s public relations departments, facilitating a transition from the paper-architecture-imaginary to what I have begun calling “PR-chitecture.” In short, PR-chitecture is architecture and design content that has been dreamed up from scratch to look good on instagram feeds or, more simply, for clicks. It is only within this substance-less, critically lapsed media landscape that Coronagrifting can prosper.

Coronagrifting: An Evolution

As of this writing, the two greatest offenders of Coronagrifting are Dezeen, which has devoted an entire section of its website to the virus (itself offering twelve pages of content since February alone) and designboom, whose coronavirus tag contains no fewer than 159 articles.

Certainly, a small handful of these stories demonstrate useful solutions to COVID-related problems (such as this one from designboom about a student who created a mask prototype that would allow D/deaf and hard of hearing people to read lips) most of the prototypes and the articles about them are, for a lack of a better word, insipid.

But where, you may ask, did it all start?

One of the easiest (and, therefore, one of the earliest) Coronagrifts involves “new innovative, health-centric designs tackling problems at the intersection of wearables and personal mobility,” which is PR-chitecture speak for “body shields and masks.”

Wearables and Post-ables

The first example came from Chinese architect Sun Dayong, back at the end of February 2020, when the virus was still isolated in China. Dayong submitted to Dezeen a prototype of a full mask and body-shield that “would protect a wearer during a coronavirus outbreak by using UV light to sterilise itself.” The project was titled “Be a Bat Man.” No, I am not making this up.

Screenshot of Dayong’s “Be a Batman” as seen on the Dezeen website.

Soon after, every artist, architect, designer, and sharp-eyed PR rep at firms and companies only tangentially related to design realized that, with the small investment of a Photoshop mockup and some B-minus marketing text, they too could end up on the front page of these websites boasting a large social media following and an air of legitimacy in the field.

By April, companies like Apple and Nike were promising the use of existing facilities for producing or supplying an arms race’s worth of slick-tech face coverings. Starchitecture’s perennial PR-churners like Foster + Partners and Bjarke Ingels were repping “3D-printed face shields”, while other, lesser firms promised wearable vaporware like “grapheme filters,” branded “skincare LED masks for encouraging self-development” and “solar powered bubble shields.”

While the mask Coronagrift continues to this day, the Coronagrifting phenomenon had, by early March, moved to other domains of design.

Consider the barrage of asinine PR fluff that is the “Public Service Announcement” and by Public Service Announcement, I mean “A Designer Has Done Something Cute to Capitalize on Information Meant to Save Lives.”

Some of the earliest offenders include cutesy posters featuring flags in the shape of houses, ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home;” a designer building a pyramid out of pillows ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home”; and Banksy making “lockdown artwork” that involved covering his bathroom in images of rats ostensibly encouraging people to “stay home.”

Lol. Screenshot from Dezeen.

You may be asking, “What’s the harm in all this, really, if it projects a good message?” And the answer is that people are plenty well encouraged to stay home due to the rampant spread of a deadly virus at the urging of the world’s health authorities, and that these tone-deaf art world creeps are using such a crisis for shameless self promotion and the generation of clicks and income, while providing little to no material benefit to those at risk and on the frontlines.

Of course, like the mask coronagrift, the Public Service Announcement coronagrift continues to this very day.

The final iteration of Post-able and Wearable Coronagrifting genres are what I call “Passive Aggressive Social Distancing Initiatives” or PASDIs. Many of the first PASDIs were themselves PSAs and art grifts, my favorite of which being the designboom post titled “social distancing applied to iconic album covers like the beatle’s abbey road.” As you can see, we’re dealing with extremely deep stuff here.

However, an even earlier and, in many ways more prescient and lucrative grift involves “social distancing wearables.” This can easily be summarized by the first example of this phenomenon, published March 19th, 2020 on designboom:

Never wasting a single moment to capitalize on collective despair, all manner of brands have seized on the social distancing wearable trend, which, again, can best be seen in the last example of the phenomenon, published May 22nd, 2020 on designboom:

We truly, truly live in Hell.

Which brings us, of course, to living.

“Architectural Interventions” for a “Post-COVID World”

As soon as it became clear around late March and early April that the coronavirus (and its implications) would be sticking around longer than a few months, the architectural solutions to the problem came pouring in. These, like the virus itself, started at the scale of the individual and have since grown to the scale of the city. (Whether or not they will soon encompass the entire world remains to be seen.)

The architectural Coronagrift began with accessories (like the designboom article about 3D-printed door-openers that enable one to open a door with one’s elbow, and the Dezeen article about a different 3D-printed door-opener that enables one to open a door with one’s elbow) which, in turn, evolved into “work from home” furniture (”Stykka designs cardboard #StayTheF***Home Desk for people working from home during self-isolation”) which, in turn, evolved into pop-up vaporware architecture for first responders (”opposite office proposes to turn berlin's brandenburg airport into COVID-19 'superhospital'”), which, in turn evolved into proposals for entire buildings (”studio prototype designs prefabricated 'vital house' to combat COVID-19″); which, finally, in turn evolved into “urban solutions” aimed at changing the city itself (a great article summarizing and criticizing said urban solutions was recently written by Curbed’s Alissa Walker).

There is something truly chilling about an architecture firm, in order to profit from attention seized by a global pandemic, logging on to their computers, opening photoshop, and drafting up some lazy, ineffectual, unsanitary mockup featuring figures in hazmat suits carrying a dying patient (macabrely set in an unfinished airport construction site) as a real, tangible solution to the problem of overcrowded hospitals; submitting it to their PR desk for copy, and sending it out to blogs and websites for clicks, knowing full well that the sole purpose of doing so consists of the hope that maybe someone with lots of money looking to commission health-related interiors will remember that one time there was a glossy airport hospital rendering on designboom and hire them.

Enough, already.

Frankly, after an endless barrage of cyberpunk mask designs, social distancing burger king crowns, foot-triggered crosswalk beg buttons that completely ignore accessibility concerns such as those of wheelchair users, cutesy “stay home uwu” projects from well-to-do art celebrities (who are certainly not suffering too greatly from the economic ramifications of this pandemic), I, like the reader featured in the Dezeen Tweet at the beginning of this post, have simply had enough of this bullshit.

What’s most astounding to me about all of this (but especially about #brand crap like the burger king crowns) is that it is taken completely seriously by design establishments that, despite being under the purview of PR firms, should frankly know better. I’m sure that Bjarke Ingels and Burger King aren’t nearly as affected by the pandemic as those who have lost money, jobs, stability, homes, and even their lives at the hands of COVID-19 and the criminally inept national and international response to it. On the other hand, I’m sure that architects and designers are hard up for cash at a time when nobody is building and buying anything, and, as a result, many see resulting to PR-chitecture as one of the only solutions to financial problems.

However, I’m also extremely sure that there are interventions that can be made at the social, political, and organizational level, such as campaigning for paid sick leave, organizing against layoffs and for decent severance or an expansion of public assistance, or generally fighting the rapidly accelerating encroachment of work into all aspects of everyday life – that would bring much more good and, dare I say, progress into the world than a cardboard desk captioned with the hashtag #StaytheF***Home.

Hence, I’ve spent most of my Saturday penning this article on my blog, McMansion Hell. I’ve chosen to run this here because I myself have lost work as a freelance writer, and the gutting of publications down to a handful of editors means that, were I to publish this story on another platform, it would have resulted in at least a few more weeks worth of inflatable, wearable, plexiglass-laden Coronagrifting, something my sanity simply can no longer withstand.

So please, Dezeen, designboom, others – I love that you keep daily tabs on what architects and designers are up to, a resource myself and other critics and design writers find invaluable – however, I am begging, begging you to start having some discretion with regards to the proposals submitted to you as “news” or “solutions” by brands and firms, and the cynical, ulterior motives behind them. If you’re looking for a guide on how to screen such content, please scroll up to the beginning of this page.

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If you enjoyed this article, please consider subscribing to my Patreon, as I didn’t get paid to write it.

#architecture #design #coronavirus #dezeen #designboom #capitalism

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flashfuture · 3 years

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I seem to be a batfam mood lately and I just saw one of those diapers commercials. You know the, by the second kid every parent is an expert ones. Where at baby number one parents are a neurotic mess but after some experience they learn what works and what doesn’t more or less.

And off on a spiral my brain went. I might actually write a fic out of this one. But I was immediately struck by a twenty something year old disaster of a man Bruce Wayne over parenting the heck out of Dick. Not as Robin because we all know how insanely split Bruce’s psyche is when it comes to Batman and Robin.

But Bruce Wayne as a new parent to Dick Grayson. It’s fall in New Jersey and there’s a slight breeze on the air. Dick is bundled head to toe. In the summer Bruce still makes him take a sweater to Titan meetings just in case. Roy finds this hysterical just like they find his insane amount of health food that Ollie packs him with.

Bruce is checking him for a fever constantly. He gets into a google spiral even though he is well aware of the symptoms of a cold. Leslie is called way too many times because Dick has a stomach ache. That’s the only reason she was certain Bruce would keep that boy safe.

Bruce had Dick’s skin and hair analyzed by experts to get specialized skin and hair care products. When Dick is older he’s so confused why he can’t find anything like he used to own or that will make his hair as shiny. He’s not about to ask Bruce though.

Dick’s room from what I recall when he moved out for college was filled to the brim with things. I’m thinking Bruce walked into a toy store and demanded everything fit for an eight year old.

When he and Dick watch movies Bruce finds he spends more time covering Dick’s eyes and sometimes even flips the movie off because he does not remember it being that inappropriate. If he thinks the movie will make Dick cry he just refuses to show it to him. Dick is thirteen with the Titans the first time he watches Old Yeller. It was Wally’s idea, it was a bad idea. None of the others had seen it. Barry got the cold shoulder for weeks at JLA meetings.

Bruce has the cars and WE stocked with snacks for Dick. When he realizes how much food helps improve Dick’s mood he has every break room filled to the brim with food and drinks free for the taking.

And on the topic of food at every gala Bruce insists on testing Dick’s food first. No way in hell is Dick getting poisoned on his watch.

Bruce turns around at WE and Dick isn’t with him and he can’t see him. The entire building is on a full scale lockdown and a code Amber Alert is moments from being sent out when Dick comes out of the vents looking sheepish. No one is surprised Dick is fourteen this has happened at least six times this year already. The security guards at WE events hate Dick Grayson duty because it is a fact they will loose him and Mr. Wayne will flip out on them.

Alfred had to stop Bruce from baby proofing the kitchen because it would have only encouraged Dick to get into trouble.

Bruce freaked out when he realized how small Dick was and got booster seats for all of his cars. Dick printed out New Jersey law that said he only had to stay in it till he was nine. Bruce really tried to push it longer. Dick found a booster seat made for the Batmobile and threw it away.

After Dick falls from the chandelier? Either Bruce has those things reinforced to withstand the weight of a car or he goes full tilt and has them all taken down.

Dick at seventeen almost strangles Bruce when he asks if he needs to go to the bathroom before they visit the Watchtower. He hated the question when he was eight and it hasn’t gotten better with age.

And I could go on and on. This is just so funny to me. If anyone thinks of any more please tag them or reply whatever I’d love to read them.

#bruce wayne #dick grayson #alfred pennyworth #leslie thompkins #headcanon #dc comics #batfam

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stxleslyds · 2 years

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ROSENBERG'S TASK FORCE Z INTERVIEW.

Hey there! I wanted to share my favourite parts from Rosenberg's interview with Screen Rant because I felt like he said some really important stuff that gives us more context about what he thinks of Jason Todd/Red Hood and what is going on in this story.

He also gave us some more hints about the new characters' motivations.

I believe that knowing what the writer thinks of a character is very important for us to get an idea of where the character is going. Rosenberg is very clever and doesn't make clear his final stance on who Jason or Red Hood are and that makes this whole thing even more interesting, but the really good news is that it seems like Rosenberg actually likes Jason's character and the idea of exploring his complex mentality.

I think we are in for a wild but amazing ride with Task Force Z, and it looks like it might last quite a while, which excites me because I feel like Jason needs a book that isn't separated in many arcs, it has been done time and time again and sometimes writers loose focus of what they truly want to do.

Also, it is very easy to tell that Rosenberg has and is putting a lot of thought behind this story which is a nice change for a Red Hood ongoing!

Anyway, I will link here! the full Screen Rant interview, and below I will leave my favourite parts from it. In my next post I will be talking about more about my thoughts on the things that were said but I think it would be nice if all of us get to read a bit of what Rosenberg had to say.

So how did this book come about, with you on board as writer?

…it started from Paul just having this idea for zombies in a book and, from there, I said that it should be a sort of Suicide Squad idea. But instead of the Suicide Squad, who are fighting for their lives, the task force is fighting to get their lives back - literally. And so that's sort of the initial pitch premise that I ran with - they're zombies, but there's a glint of humanity in them. They are fighting to get more and more of it, and it's given out to them as a reward.

When the Task Force Z news came out, I immediately thought this team was so cool. Did you immediately have this line-up of characters on the team, or did it take some guesswork?

It's funny, there was a lot of back and forth with Paul and Dave Wielgosz, our other editor on the book, because I said from go, "You need big names. This isn't gonna work if it's just random characters who have died recently." And I said, "We need a field leader. We need someone who will sell books on their own." They said, "Who would you want?" and the first name I said was, "I want Jason Todd." When you're dealing with rebirth and people who have died and come back, he should be the Sherpa for the team. And they were like, "You got him, it's done."

From there, everything sort of clicked into place pretty easily. Bane and Man-Bat were two that I really wanted, and they wanted me to have. It was funny, because it was unclear when Arkham Asylum was blown up, who died. They kept it ambiguous on purpose of who died, who escaped, who's still in lockdown. They were like, "You can kind of pick people who died, and we can just say later that they died in Arkham."…

…But yeah, I think that the big names up front of Bane, Man-Bat and Red Hood were the hard pieces to fit. And then after that, everything else was kind of easy and joy.

Jason got a "leadership role" with his recent Rebirth team, but some think of Jason Todd as not a typical leader. What was it about him in that role that appealed to you?

I like Jason, because there is a really good push and pull with him of who he is and who he wants to be. And a lot of that is defined [as] reactionary to Batman. I like the idea of him as a team leader because it's a little different than what you'd expect from him, and it's something that he's not comfortable with. I think he works best when he's sort of on unsure ground.

I love him with the Outlaws, but I think the way that I envisioned him in this book is he's a reluctant leader. He has to do this to get something else. In the book, we sort of slow-feed you information, because we're doing a weird book. We're doing this book that's not a usual team; it's got more horror elements; it's got some mystery to it. We don't tell you everything upfront, but as the book goes on, I think people will start to realize that Jason is doing a lot of things behind the scenes, and also being manipulated behind the scenes in certain ways.

But the thing that's very clear from go is that he's not happy to be the team leader here. His end goal is not to run a team of zombies or not-zombies. His end goal is very different, and this is just the thing he has to do. And I think that's when he's at his best: when he's sort of torn between different directions and put upon and struggling to figure out the right path.

Maybe not a good team leader, but that's why he's the best team leader for this book.

Because DCEASED is so fresh in people's memory, one thing to distinguish here is that Jason has a mission in this book. There is an explicit goal, right?

Oh, yeah, there's a goal. He has an endgame, and the task force has an endgame, and they're not necessarily the same endgame. And that's something that will become more apparent as the book goes on. But yeah, it's funny because people talk about DCEASED a lot - I love DCEASED, and it's obviously a series that we looked at a lot in both this and DC Vs. Vampires. But the big difference is that we're on the side of the zombies here. So, that's a big one for us.

Also, this book is in the main DC continuity, which people keep thinking it's not. And we have to constantly be like, "Oh, no. These people are dead, and it's really screwed up." How everyone reacts to that is going to be a big part of it.

Working with vampires [in DC vs. Vampires] and zombies, there are different rules for these kinds of things. Did you come up with specific rules?

…But zombies are fascinating, because they're not traditional zombies, exactly. They're people who've died, and they could be brought back to life. There's a substance called the Lazarus Resin that is in the DC Universe, and it can bring people back to life. But if you give it to them in pieces, it doesn't bring them fully back to life. It creates this problem, and that's something we came up with to explain how they're dead and not dead.

They are eating people and doing a lot of things that zombies do, and you don't want to get their heads destroyed, but they can regenerate parts and things like that. Because they are hooked into a rejuvenation or rebirth serum. It's funny, because I think when people say zombies, they think they know what it is. And we did have to be like, "There's different ground rules for this, and you're not going to fully understand them from the first issue." But as we go, we lay it out.

Part of it is that we really want to play with what you could do with the metaphor of that. I think zombies is a very good metaphor; I think people have really explored it a lot. And we want to talk about different things: we wanted to talk about addiction and redemption and the choices that people make in their lives that they can't shake and can't lose and can't get away from. We're using the zombie thing to really talk much more about things like that, like people's legacies and their addictions and things like that - which is hard to do with just traditional zombies.

You definitely made me think differently about edibles.

…I was like, "Let's just do it as edibles." It's just gonna be pills; it's just gonna be glowing little pills. Take that for what it is. I'm straight-edge, so maybe it's a very harsh commentary from me on drug culture.

…But yeah, edibles are saving their lives - or killing them, depending on how you look at it.

I don't know how much you want to spoil, but Jason does have an organization behind him. He does have people who have a sense of a bigger picture.

Yes. Task Force Z work for an organization that's a branch of the government, seemingly, that is very clandestine. It's very much a black ops organization, and it's run by a man named Crispin, who some people seem to know and some people don't. But he gives the orders and he pulls the triggers. Then there's characters who are called the Resurrection Twins, who manage a lot of the day-to-day science of keeping people alive - or someone alive; keeping people semi-alive.

But this character, Crispin, is the liaison between Jason, who's the field leader, and the overarching organization that runs Task Force Z. Who Crispin is, what his motivations are or what the organization is trying to do, and what Jason wants are three things that will slowly on unravel and send the team down three different paths as we go.

In addition to doing a Jason Todd-centric book, you're also doing a lot of work with Grifter. In a lot of ways, those guys are cut from the same cloth - and they both love guns and the colour red, apparently. What is it about those cases that you find appealing as a storyteller? What draws you to those kinds of characters?

On the surface, I think they're pretty similar. I have a very different read on them. Grifter is a character who is, at the end of the day, kind of fun-loving and kind of a screw-up. And Jason is kind of the opposite; he's kind of dour, and he's not a screw-up. He makes bad choices, but they're the choices he wants to make, if that makes sense. He's a guy with bad judgment, but he's very good at what he does.

I think for the most part, the thing that I like about them is not that they're the hard cases or that they're the gun-loving characters in Gotham right now. But I think the thing I like about them is that they're very much characters who are presenting a facade. Nightwing and Dick Grayson are the same guy. They really are, like Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person. But who Cole Cash and Jason Todd are is a lot more nuanced.

Nuanced isn't the right word, because I don't want to imply that the other characters are simple. But they're pretending to be things that they aren't, and I'm really drawn to that. I think Jason at his heart doesn't quite know who he is and what he wants to be, and he spent his whole life trying to figure that out. That I think is very exciting to explore as a writer, but I think it's also the kind of thing that certain people are really drawn to; the idea of that uncertainty in who they are.

…I really love the people who just aren't quite sure how they fit into the world and aren't quite sure what they're doing is right, but they're really committed to it. I think there's something beautiful about that, and something really sweet and innocent in there. It's hidden under this very dark determined facade, but I think they're very vulnerable characters for that, and I like them a lot because of that.

Since we're talking pronunciation here, we should apologize for using the term zombie so carelessly. Do you have preferred nomenclature for the Lazarus Resin-imbued individuals?

That's interesting. In the book, Jason calls them zombies. And everyone else says, "Don't call them that." What they're supposed to be called will be revealed - what the team calls them. What the organization will call them and what Crispin refers to them as is going to be brought in later. For the start of the book, they're only called zombies.

#jason todd #red hood #task force z #dc comcis

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daemoninwhiteround2 · 3 years

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Questions of your lovely omegaverse

-how sensitive is Alpha Dick's nose to smell out Jason's milk? Does this go up during heat/rut, aka he can hunt Jason down based on smell?

-Does the possessiveness go up too?

It's a nice, quite night. Bruce is in space, some thing with the JL, he's not expected to be back for at least a week. Jason has taken advantage of this to bring a bunch of evidence to the Cave. Sure, he can run the required tests himself, but none of his equipment is as fast as Batman's. Some people don't have the advantage of a massive, natural cave system to fill up with servers, and have to do things the old fashioned way.

He's waiting on a test to finish - amusing himself by moving all the stationary around in the main desk - when Tim comes flying into the Cave on Redbird.

He doesn't even come to a full stop before he flings himself off the bike, rolling to his feet and heading to Jason at a dead sprint.

Jason gets to his feet, unholsters his gun and swipes over to the Cave's emergency protocols. He hesitates over the lockdown button - if something's wrong with Tim he doesn't want to shut them in together - and now that he's listening for it, he can hear the faint rumble of another bike in the distance.

"It's Dick!" Tim shouts.

Jason's heart drops into his stomach. "What's-"

Tim skids to a stop, throws his hands on Jason's shoulder to keep from slamming into Jason. The impact is still enough to send Jason stumbling back a step.

"He got hit with a rut inducer!"

Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

Jason leans over and slams his Hood onto his head. He'll come and get the results later. "E.T.A?"

"30 seconds at most."

Fuck. He darts over to where he'd left his own bike, cursing himself for getting comfortable and leaving his blockers at home. He's been in the Cave long enough that Dick'll be able to get a real good idea of what he currently smells like, which means he's got to make himself enough of a target that Dick immediately follows, which will be a lot easier if-

"What level?" How much of himself does Dick retain, he means, but every word is precious.

He throws his leg over his bike and it roars to life beneath his touch.

"Seems feral, but still knows how to work some tech." Tim smears a tracking gel over what skin Jason has exposed at his neck (he isn't in full Red Hood gear and he's kicking himself for it). Jason will probably need to ditch the bike, and it won't be the first time he's shed clothes to lay false trails so he can't use a typical tracker.

And as much as Jason hopes against hope, if they want to find Dick, the quickest method will be to hunt Jason down.

Tim steps back and Jason rides out of the Cave, pushes his bike as fast as it'll go.

He passes Dick just inside the entrance. Even with the Hood, even with the noise of their bikes, he hears the blood curdling growl Dick lets out.

The entrance is too narrow for Dick to turn around easily, which will slow him down.

Jason still guns it, heads straight for the highway. He needs as much of a head start as he can get.

He's tried loosing Dick in the warren that is inner-city Gotham streets, but that just means there's too many places for Dick to drag him off to if he catches up, and Jason can't go as fast as he needs. His bike and Dick's can perform about the same, so with any luck, he'll be able to really open up the throttle and lead Dick on a merry chase until an antidote is synthesized. Maybe Jason should think of how they'll eventually be found, but fuck, Tim's friends with a speedster, and if he's not free, Tim could always call on Dick's close personal friend Superman to hunt them down.

(Jason pushes down the voice that says he ran out of luck the moment someone drugged Dick, and accelerates. He can outlast Dick.

He can.)

#jaydick #Dick in rut transforms into a bloodhound with one (1) thing on his mind #no lac kink #tragically #dae writes #dc #batman #Jason Todd #omega Jason Todd #alpha Dick Grayson #Omegaverse

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daleisgreat · 3 years

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Inglourious Basterds

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I am jumping out of order with the third Quentin Tarantino film I am covering here is not QT’s third film, Jackie Brown, but instead for his 2009 alternate take on World War II, Inglourious Basterds (trailer). Click or press here for my article on Reservoir Dogs, and click or press here for my entry on Pulp Fiction. I have owned the BluRay since it first released well over a decade ago, and it is a shame yet another QT gem has sat in my backlog for so long. This takes place in occupied France with a riveting opening scene where German Col. Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) conducts an interview with a local dairy farmer which eventually leads to questioning about missing Jews. This being a QT film, the dialog is intentionally drawn out, with Hans pausing the interview for a refreshing glass of milk, and digressing on other tangents before eventually getting to the burning question. Once again, QT absolutely nails the art of conversation like very few of his peers can. Every subtle body language flinch and pivot throughout their verbal exchange is not wasted, and it ultimately pays off with a unforgettable impact to close the scene. If it was almost any other filmmaker, my tolerance would have surely been tested, but there is something to QT’s scripts that without fail have me 100% invested in their surplus of verbiage as much as a climactic action scene in the latest summer blockbuster.

Be prepared for some vintage-QT dialog-heavy scenes...I wouldn't want it any other way from him! This being a WWII film, one would think it would be safe to presume there is a fair amount of military combat scenes. While there is a significant body count by the end of the film, the firefights are not of the typical Hollywood WWII fare, so do not expect any all-out tanks, war planes, and massive artillery skirmishes. Most of the action that transpires here involves a team of Jewish American soldiers headed up by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt). After the absurd fallout from their latest mission in a basement tavern, they receive intel from undercover operative Bridget von Hammersmark (Diane Kruger) that Nazi leadership including Hitler (Martin Wuttke) himself will be at the grand opening of the latest military propaganda film, Nation’s Pride.

The theater owner where Nation’s Pride will be premiering, Shosanna (Mélanie Laurent), has an intriguing arc on how she is roped into debuting the film at her cinema which is caused by the relentless intimate pursuit of German soldier, Frederick Zoller (Daniel Brühl). Without giving too much away, Shosanna has her own agenda too, and everything builds up splendidly to the big premiere night of Nation’s Pride. I vividly remember going into the theater not clued into the ending which I will not spoil here, and I was instantly stunned at the direction QT went for the final act. There is nearly an hour and a half of bonus material on the BluRay. The standout bonus is a half hour interview with Brad Pitt and QT, conducted by Elvis Mitchell with some highlights of their conversation being how energetic the overall shoot was, and what it was like premiering the film in Germany. Other extra features worth checking out is the full six minute cut of Nation’s Pride, a quick look back with interviews of the cast and crew from the original 1978 Inglorious Bastards, and a pair of interviews with Rod Taylor who has some fun behind-the-scenes stories with QT on how the two have the utmost respect for each other.

Inglourious Basterds did not disappoint with a highly entertaining second viewing where nearly the entire ensemble cast excelled in their performances! For a film that is two and a half hours long, it proved to be a swift viewing after being so engrossed with all the aforementioned dialog-dense scenes. I cannot fairly rank this among QT’s movies as I nearly love them all equally, but it goes without saying if you have made it this far then you know I am giving this the highest of recommendations! Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Endgame The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve The Clapper Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Justice League (2017 Whedon Cut) Last Action Hero Major League Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Nintendo Quest Not for Resale Payback (Director’s Cut) Pulp Fiction The Punisher (1989) The Ref The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT Trauma Center The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

#random movie #brad pitt #Diane Kruger #Quentin Tarantino #inglourious basterds #christoph waltz #daniel brühl #mélanie laurent #rod taylor

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floralseokjin · 3 years

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The Zoom Halloween Party

⇢ and beyond timeline (after crystallised)

[saga index] [drabble index]

kim seokjin x reader // slice of life, humour // 2,556 words

a/n; thank you to all the anons who gave me ideas for this halloween drabble, it wouldn’t exist without you!

“I have to say your costumes are pretty lame this year, you guys.”

“We’re having a Halloween party over fucking zoom, forgive us for not going all out.”

Seokjin bit straight away, unable to help it. He and Namjoon were like cat and mouse at all times, but even you had to admit to being offended by your friend’s dismissal.

Halloween was finally here, and while you couldn’t celebrate in person together, the marvels of technology were letting you celebrate virtually – although this was more like a Halloween hang out than a Halloween party.

“I’m just saying,” Namjoon shrugged. “Hoseok went all out for his.”

You looked over at Hoseok’s screen, watching him smile smugly. You had to admit he made a great Joker, but it was also the year 2020... He and his girlfriend, Nora were like two years behind with the whole Joker and Harley Quinn gimmick, it was old now.

Seokjin rolled his eyes, willing to argue black and blue. “It’s only good because his mom helped him with the makeup.”

“Oh shut up, you’re just jealous because me and Hoseok will win best dressed tonight!” Nora scoffed under Hoseok in her own little screen.

Pouting like a baby, your boyfriend crossed his arms. “I’m not voting for you.”

“If anything, I should win. I make a mighty fine Batman.”

Attention back on Namjoon now, you all had to agree. But maybe that was because everyone was feeling sorry for him tonight. He was after all, the only single one amongst you. There was Jin and you, Lina and Jimin, Hoseok and Nora, and even though Sandeul was on his own tonight, he had Jess, who was working the night shift tonight. Two months ago there had also been Namjoon and Hana, but not anymore... Let’s just say Namjoon wasn’t having the best of time lately... Getting dumped during a pandemic wasn’t ideal. So he’d paired with Hobi and Nora tonight in some sort of DC-esque collab. He was definitely winning best dressed tonight, but maybe he’d see it as a pity vote…

“You’re body looks amazing in that suit, Joon,” you complimented, hearing Lina hum in supportive agreement.

“Hey!” Seokjin exclaimed, sounding mighty offended as he looked your way. You were smushed together on the couch, the takeout you’d ordered on your laps, but you were pretty full now, a belly full of wine already.

“The devil and an angel though.” Jimin’s voice sounded awfully judgemental. “Come on guys, so basic.”

“Well, who the hell did you to come as?” Seokjin was loud.

“Zombie Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly,” Lina replied as if your boyfriend was dumb.

“Lame,” Seokjin scoffed. “Half of these guys haven’t even watched The Office.”

“It’s a way more original idea than yours.”

You scoffed. “Um, this is the epitome of everyone’s sexual fantasy, I’ll have you know.”

“Whose?!” Lina roared, wrinkling her nose. She and Jimin were also squished together, but on his bed, the camera angle giving you an amazing shot of their chins... Not that you would tell your best friend that, of course.

“We all know what they’re doing after this then,” Sanduel stated. He was dressed as some character from a game he and Seokjin played (a lot.) Nerds.

“Stop,” Hoseok whined. “Does that mean you guys fucked as The Addams family couple last year?”

“Of course it does,” Namjoon replied matter-of-factly.

“Jesus.”

Ah yes, you two really had out done yourselves last year for Namjoon and Hoseok’s joint Halloween party. Thinking about it maybe your devil and angel costumes were quite lame this year…

“As if you didn’t guess,” Lina laughed. “They were reciting all those weird lines practically dry humping in the kitchen at one point.”

That was your cue, slamming into action, although as luck would have it you had re-watched The Addams Family two nights ago. You gripped Seokjin’s face, yanking him to look at you. “Seokjin, last night you were unhinged.” You began dramatically. “You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.” A pause for effect. “Do it again!”

Seokjin took your hand, in character immediately. He leaned down to kiss your knuckles. “Cara mia.”

You opened your mouth, ready to purr out mon cher in your best French accent but you were interrupted by Namjoon’s gagging noises. “That’s it, I’m leaving.”

Seokjin snapped his head around, unamused. “Bye.”

Everyone laughed… just before Hoseok sighed. “Aw, this makes me so depressed. I miss last year, when things were simpler.”

“This was the worst year to officially become an adult.” Nora joined in with a whine.

They were 100% correct. There couldn’t have been a worse year to graduate… The past few months had been so stressful but thankfully you were now in a much more stable place. Granted, you hadn’t been able to start the post-graduate internship you’d bagged right before the pandemic hit yet but eventually it would happen, and in the meantime you still had your retail job – and your savings.

Seokjin had truly lucked out, although his job at his father’s company had been set in stone since high school. He was working remotely until the end of the year (hopefully), rocking that business on top, casual down bottom fashion that he was so gleefully fond of – think a dress shirt and sweatpants ensemble – but you were so incredibly proud of him for adjusting so well after this shitfest of a year. He was your sexy, serious businessman.

Your friends hadn’t been as lucky though – well, mainly Hoseok and Namjoon who had recently moved back home with their parents while they job hunted. (That’s why the former and Nora were on separate screens – she still lived close by for work.) Lina hated her new job and Jimin still had a year left at college, so maybe he was better off at the moment... Sanduel and Jess were okay too, and had recently moved in with one another, leaving you and Seokjin to… follow suit…

It came as a surprise to you both, but it made more sense than the two of you living alone. You’d already grown used to it during those couple of months of lockdown at the start of the year and it felt weird after he’d left... It was a big step, but an easy one once you’d found the most perfect apartment to rent together. (You couldn’t officially live with one another in that shoebox of an old apartment, but it had been sad to leave it – you’d shared so many good times there.) It had only been about six weeks since you’d become official roomies, but you were loving every second of domestic bliss. Despite this crazy year, things were on the up, and you were very happy.

“Now we’re freshly graduated bums.” Namjoon moaned, knocking back the last of his beer.

Seokjin laughed. “Speak for yourself.”

“We can’t all have a CEO for a dad,” Namjoon shot.

“That sounds like a you problem.”

You pushed at your boyfriend’s shoulder, silently telling him to behave. Where was the sympathy for his heartbroken friend?

“At least you’re not stuck doing online classes.” Jimin piped up.

“I’d actually kill to be back there,” Namjoon chuckled. “I’m sick of receiving rejection emails.”

“Don’t give up hope, bro.” Hoseok told him. “I have an interview next week so fingers crossed.”

Nora squealed. “I hope you get it, babe. You need to get your ass back here. I miss you.”

You all missed him. And Namjoon. Even if you couldn’t all hang out like you were once able to, it was strange to think they were both living in different cities now. Last year seemed like an eternity ago, all you had were memories and even then they were murky.

“Guys, please,” Namjoon wailed, forehead hitting the screen as he threw forward dramatically. “One of us is single here.”

“Sorry.”

In fact, you all felt the need to apologise, a string of them following for no real reason other than you felt really bad for the guy. You knew he’d find a job soon, that wasn’t the problem really – whatever the company they’d be a fool to turn him down – you were just concerned about his mood. Getting dumped had come out of the blue so he was still adjusting, all while his life turned upside down in other ways too.

He hadn’t lost all sense of humour though, his trademark smirk growing across his face a few moments later. “So who will end up fucking on camera first?”

Amongst the groans, Sanduel scoffed. “Probably Mr and Mrs. Devil.”

“I’m an angel,” you corrected, a glass of wine back in your hand now. “Also, why would we fuck on camera? You guys don’t deserve the show.”

“God, you’re so drunk,” Lina screeched. She wasn’t exactly sober herself. Beside her Jimin winced at the volume.

“Of course I’m drunk, Lina, this is the first proper chance I’ve had in months.” Getting drunk alone was pretty miserable, now you had an excuse.

“So it’s definitely them who’ll start fucking first…” Hoseok muttered.

Seokjin heard him loud and clear though. He hooked his arm around your shoulders, pulling you against him. “Yeah if we leave randomly you know this angel got horny for some devil dick.”

“Seokjin!” You exclaimed, pushing at his chest. He just laughed, reaching down to kiss you.

He did look mighty fine dressed as a devil though. Yeah, the red cape was basic but so were your angel wings and halo, but with his dark hair pushed back above his forehead, two red devil horns visible and his eyeshadow off the scale (your doing), he made a very, very sexy Satan!

Jimin pulled a face. “You’re actually going to fuck in those costumes, aren’t you?”

“Of course we are.” Seokjin rolled his eyes. “That’s what Halloween’s all about.”

“No, it’s not,” Nora laughed.

“I don’t know why you’re all so surprised,” Sandeul sighed before shovelling down some candy corn.

“You know them better than anyone,” Namjoon chuckled.

“I was the first to know! Sworn to secrecy for weeks!”

“Yeah, and she didn’t tell me for so long,” Lina whined. Even though it was ages ago now you were still pretty sure she was salty about it.

Hoseok snickered. “It was because she was embarrassed to be fucking him.”

You scoffed, about to refute his claims but Sanduel had more to say apparently. “And then I had to deal with Jin moping around when she dumped him for that basketball player.”

“She didn’t dump me,” Seokjin protested. “We won’t together then.”

“Bro, you were still moping though.”

“Awh, you guys,” you whined, running your fingers through the hair on the back of Seokjin’s head. “Stop teasing him.” You leaned in to kiss his cheek but he moved, stealing one from your lips instead.

“Great Deul, you’ve started them off again.” Hoseok moaned.

“I don’t care anyway. The amount of times I’ve heard them going at it has made me immune.”

“Sanduel, we’re not that bad!” You complained, leaning forward to place your glass down on the coffee table.

Seokjin had your back. “As if we haven’t heard you and Jess fuck before.”

That however was not at all interesting to your friends though. They blatantly ignored it for a more interesting direction of topic.

“Did you ever catch them?” Jimin asked, sounding weirdly excited.

“No actually, which is baffling.”

“You nearly did – multiple times,” Seokjin informed him, which instantly turned Sanduel grey. Not bothered, my ass.

“Why are you guys so obsessed with our sex life?” You whined loudly. Was theirs that boring?

“Ooo, let’s play a game!!” Lina exploded suddenly, sitting up, her head now cut off from the screen. “Who’s the freakiest!!!”

Seokjin turned to you gleefully. “We got this in the bag, babe.”

In your eyes, the questions were quite tame, so yes, you and Seokjin really were scoring first place left and right. Although you had a hunch Lina was holding back information. As her best friend you knew what she was like and she was being awfully quiet for someone who’d suggested the game…

“Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever boned?” Nora asked, six questions in.

Seokjin didn’t even need a second. “Namjoon’s bedroom.” Your eyes bulged immediately, surprised he’d gone there.

“What?” Namjoon choked.

“Sorry, man. It just kinda happened.” Seokjin glanced at you, deeply amused. Poor Namjoon didn’t need more bad news.

“You guys have fucked in my bedroom?”

“Well, technically it’s not your bedroom anymore, but yeah,” you shrugged.

“When?”

The third degree was real. “A while back.”

“What the fuck you guys,” he groaned, his face a picture. “And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“You don’t even know the half of it.” Lina couldn’t help but add.

“You, be quiet!” You warned, although you knew she wouldn’t spill. Your secret was safe with her.

Namjoon was looking more and more scared by the second. “What the fuck did you guys do in there?” Seokjin just laughed loudly. “Did you at least clean up?” He got no reply. He was deadly serious with his next question. “Did you make Ryan watch?”

“Namjoon!” Seokjin cried, practically wiping tears from your eyes. Maybe he was more drunk than you… You hadn’t realised. “He’s a stuffed animal.”

“That plush is all I have now.”

“Pity, the guy’s recently been dumped. This is bullying,” Hoseok interrupted, sticking up for his friend.

“It’s not,” your boyfriend insisted.

“Aw, Namjoon, I’m sorry,” you apologised, feeling guilty now. How could you make it up to him? “When all this is over you can come over and fuck someone in our bedroom.”

“What,” Seokjin protested. You ignored him.

“Who though?” Namjoon asked, sounding sad.

“You’ll meet someone new soon enough.” Lina reassured him. “You’re any girls dream guy.”

He perked up at that. “You think so?”

“Legit, man,” Jimin joined in.

“Wait,” Sandeul interrupted, seemingly realising something. “Is the costume roleplay exclusive to Halloween?”

… Of course the conversation was back on you and Jin…

“Why?” You asked.

“Because Namjoon had a fancy dress party for his birthday last year…”

Seokjin shrugged. “Any celebration.”

Sanduel instantly looked disgusted. “So you guys fucked as The Incredibles couple?”

You and Seokjin didn’t reply, but your faces said it all.

Namjoon groaned loudly. “I want to scoop my brain out.” Then he thought of something. “Was it in my bedroom?”

“Noooo!”

“Yes.”

You both replied at the same time and you pushed Seokjin. Now he was just purposely teasing his friend.

“Who’s lying?” Namjoon demanded, but Sanduel was too busy going through it, distracting you all.

“The Incredibles is my favourite childhood movie, man, now I feel gross. I can’t watch it ever again because I’ll imagine you two trying to superhero fuck.”

Your friends were way too dramatic. It wasn’t even a big deal, they were making it out to be way kinkier than it was, and Seokjin wasn’t helping matters. You were literally just having normal sex dressed up. That’s all.

“This game has taught me I’m best friends with a bunch of vanilla ice creams,” Seokjin tutted. “It’s called having fun. Something you guys can’t seem to do.”

“You all suck!” You agreed.

Hm, maybe you were just as guilty as your boyfriend… It was just too damn amusing goading your friends…

#bts fanfic #seokjin fanfic #jin fanfic #floralseokjin:writings #fic:crystallised

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gotham-rat · 4 years

Text

pandemic headcanon time!

dick

by the sixth day, dick was starting to lose his mind in his apartment, and thought, “fuck it, I’m quarantining at the manor” so he showed up, in the same ratty t shirt and board shorts he’d been wearing for a week. alfred just sighed and opened the door for him to come in. he managed to dig up his robin themed fidget spinner he’d bought years ago, and constantly flicks it around. he’ll do anything to avoid the slightest boredom: walks on his hands, flips over anything he can, the smaller the space the better. he hasn’t had a vacation or break in years. he’s not used to do doing nothing. he hates it. every fiber of his being wants to punch someone in the face just to feel something. he decides the best way to quell the boredom is to pester his siblings. it’s gotten so bad that now, if he enters a room full of them, they’ll all scatter faster than he can blink.

damian

he’s an animal crossing quarantiner. you can fight me on this. and he has a weird obsession with red’s fake art. in fact, he’s picked up painting as something to fill time and will replicate the fake famous paintings. bruce thinks it’s the cutest thing in the world, and when damian throws his paintings away after finishing (he doesn’t care about them that much) bruce always swipes them and hangs them up and tweets about it. damian also is a little bit on the germ-freak side. not a lot, but the situation makes him uncomfortable. if anyone has to go outside he insists on masks and bringing hand sanitizer and staying at least seven feet apart. otherwise he’s been pretty chill.

bruce

bruce, like dick, doesn’t like being cooped up but can at least function. his kids have noticed that he spends just a little too much time on twitter nowadays though. he likes playing games at dinner like “would you rather”, but always takes it so seriously that no one else can really enjoy them. he’s slowly falling out of his work out routine. he ate cheese puffs for the first time because of jason. he hasn’t had time to read a book for fun in years, and now he’s going through stacks of them. he takes them out of tim’s room or orders them online. he’ll sit outside or in his office and read for hours. the cutest thing is when tim and bruce have both read the same one and they talk about. they’ll have full discourse about characters and plot points and arcs and sometimes even get into arguments. it’s pretty entertaining to watch.

tim

tim is, well, he’s definitely found a way to spend his time. if you walk into his room you’ll find three different boards tacked up on the walls. newpaper cutouts and prints and pictures pinned with red string on each of them. he hacked into the gcpd database and is pulling out a whole bunch of cold cases. he’s literally already solved one and called the victim’s family about it. out of all of them he’s probably broken the lockdown rules the most because his cases have required him to sometimes go out and look for people, places, etc. but he does most of it remotely. he stays in his room when he’s not working on a case, only emerging for coffee or a seriously needed melatonin. he’s trying to fix up his sleep schedule a little bit, but it’s not really working. he’s resolved to having at least one randomly placed nap in the day, which is better than constantly staying up.

steph

steph got the fuck out of gotham. as soon as word was spreading about a possible lockdown, she hugged them all goodbye and booked a cheap flight to california. she knows some people there and is currently quarantining with them. they have a beach house and everyday she’s outside: swimming, tanning, surfing, snorkeling. she’s embraced it fully as a well deserved break. and lord knows she needed it. she’s constantly facetiming the others, and making fun of them for being stuck in bleary gotham.

cassie

no one sees her, except when she comes out to swipe some snacks. at this point bruce isn’t really sure if she’s actually staying at manor. in reality, she is, she just sleeps a lot, or climbs out the window and onto the roof to chill. she sketches and sketches, having already filled up three notebooks since quarantine started. alfred is the only one who knows she sneaks out onto the roof. he doesn’t say anything. sometimes she’ll sleep up there and take pictures of the moon and stars and sunrise cause she likes something pretty to look at when she’s sad. her current thing is binge watching shows. she’s pretty obsessed with a few ones on netflix. she tends to hyperfixate on a few characters for a while before moving to others.

barbara

barbara is not at the manor. she’s staying in her own apartment but is rarely there. she volunteers anywhere she can. she sets up signs at the gotham hospital to thank workers, she lends a hand to the gcpd a lot when they’re short on staff and need help. she shuts lockdown protests tf down on social media. because of how big her platform is on twitter, she uses it to post updates and information and just keep everyone well informed. she’s the only batfam member who contracted corona with serious symptoms, but that was in march and she’s tested negative for it now. recently she ordered specific masks for everyone in the family, including alfred ofc, and sent it to them as gifts. when she’s not out volunteering or helping, she stress bakes. a lot. it’s all recipes she actually learned from bruce and she safely hands out her sweets to essential workers.

alfred

he has abandoned all responsibilities. the waynes can clean up their own damn messes. he literally just chills, checks on cassie, plays the occasional board game with dick. sometimes he does leave just to drive around fairly empty gotham. he doesn’t get out of the car and still wears a mask so it’s all safe but it’s just to relax for a bit. he’s also invested pretty heavily into some podcasts.

jason

jason is having a breakdown. he keeps spray sunscreen by his bedside, so when he’s sad he can spray it into the air and get a whiff of it for seratonin, softly whispering “beach” to himself when he does. he has stubble climbing over his face, mismatched socks, and is in the most need of a haircut. he’s always falling asleep on the couch, the kitchen floor, by the pool. he keeps trying to make food (and he sucks at cooking) and has almost cut off his fingers everytime. now he has three bandaids on his right hand and two on his left. one’s normal, another is pokémon, there’s a lightning mcqueen one, a bright pink one, and another is batman themed. now he just tosses something, anything into the microwave and consumes it mindlessly. he doesn’t know the time, or what day it is. he likes to float face down in the pool until someone comes out and says “jason, it’s time to get out before you die” and he grudgingly does so, only to go and lie face down in the living room for a while.

#batfamily headcanons #batfam headcanons #batfam #batman #dick grayson #jason todd #batfamily #bruce wayne #damian wayne #dc universe #incorrect batfamily quotes #gotham #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #catwoman #joker #harley quinn

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sword-of-summer · 3 years

Note

All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

#personal #ask #tumblr

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redrikki · 3 years

Text

2020 Writing Round-Up

Well, 2020 was a year. There was a brief period of it at the start of the lockdown in March when I actually thought I might be more productive, cooped up inside without basic human contact, but it turns out that’s just a recipe for depression. I participated in 9 fic exchanges and signed up for a bunch of bingo cards I never managed to fill. Ah, well. Still, I did manage to churn out 17 stories in 13 different fandoms, some of which I’d never written for before.

Agent Carter

Odds on Favorite - And to think Peggy might never have known about the office betting pool if Daniel hadn't asked her to dinner. A workplace comedy set between seasons 1 and 2. (Peggy Carter/Daniel Sousa, Jack Thompson)

All the World's a Stage - Dottie had cleared out all her belongings except for the dead body under her bed and Angie was starting to wonder if she actually knew anyone as well as she thought she did. She knew she wasn’t the best actress in New York, but she was starting to think she hadn’t even been the best one in the building. (Angie Martinelli, Peggy Carter, Dottie Underwood)

Avatar: The Last Airbender

The Last Cheese Bender - It was amazing just how much of Air Nomad cuisine had survived, but none of the other nations ate cheese. Aang was going to change that. (Aang & the Gaang)

Batwoman (TV)

Trapped in the Closet - Kate was never afraid to come out to her father, but she is now. Episode tag to the season 1 finale. (Kate Kane, Mary Hamilton, Luke Fox)

Black Lightning

Maybe Baby - "Ever think about what kind of power's you and Grace's kids would have?" Jen asked, raising possibilities Anissa had never considered before. (Anissa Pierce/Grace Choi, Jennifer Pierce)

Sleeping Beauty - Grace had been in coma for over a month now, but Anissa still couldn’t help thinking each visit that this would be the one where she woke up. Maybe today it would be. (Anissa Pierce/Grace Choi)

DC Comics

Build-A-Beast (The Creative Creature Remix) - Despite what Batman thought, Harley didn’t take the Create-A-Critter job for Mr. Jay. No, she took it for her. (Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, various Bats)

Downton Abbey

Genius Loci - Downton Abbey consumes people and it won't let Thomas go. (Thomas Barrow, Phyllis Baxter) WARNING for references to attempted suicide.

Hunger Games

Panem and Circuses: A look at the woman who made the games - As Panem prepares to celebrate the Third Quarter Quell, Games Gab takes a look back at the brilliant innovator who almost singlehandedly transformed the Hunger Games from a rather tedious affair mandated by the Treaty of Treason into the entertainment juggernaut they are today.

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts

The Hero Was You - Benson likes Troy and Troy likes Benson. Great! Now all Benson has to do is figure out what to do about it. (Benson/Troy)

Dream Girls - On the surface, Mulholland had given Wolf everything she had thought she wanted: her and Kipo, the two of them buff and tough and together. Her guilt had kept her from really enjoying it, but it hadn’t been why she fought back. (Kipo Oak/Wolf)

The Old Guard

Take What the Water Gave Me - Quynh drowns and wakes and in between are Booker and Andromache. She would take his life if she could. So she does. (Quynh/Andy, Booker)

Oxford Time Travel Universe (Connie Willis)

Primary Sources - In the dark years when the net won't open, Colin has a lot of growing up to do. (Colin Templar & Kivrin Engle)

Star Wars

A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy - Depa stumbled free of the maze, back into the atrium for the Lothal Temple. There was just one problem. The man kneeling between the desiccated bodies of the ancient Jedi was not her master. (Depa Billaba & Kanan Jarrus)

Umbrella Academy

Taste of Nostalgia - Allison and Vanya visit Griddy's for old time's sake. (Allison & Vanya Hargreeves)

What We Do in the Shadows

Requiem for a Mosquito Collector - Derek’s funeral was super awkward. Not quite as awkward as returning Derek’s mom’s van after leaving her son to die in a house full of angry vampires, but it was still pretty bad. (Guillermo de la Cruz, Mosquito Collectors)

How Guillermo Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Camera - Making a documentary film about their lives is a terrible idea, right up until it isn't. (Guillermo de la Cruz, the vampires, film crew)

#my fic #2020 round up #agent carter #avatar: the last airbender #black lightning #batwoman #dc comics #downton abbey #what we do in the shadows #The Umbrella Academy #star wars #the old guard #oxford time travel historians #kipo and the age of wonderbeasts #hunger games

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michaelgambons · 3 years

Text

Baseline Romantic

Chapter 7

Warnings: poor mental health, hospitals, cuteness overloads

Y/N woke up late on the Sunday morning, and spent a couple of minutes scrolling through twitter before groaning slightly and getting up.

Voices were coming from the kitchen, she could recognise Ben’s, but the other voice was unfamiliar.

Y/N detoured away from the kitchen to the bathroom to look at herself in the mirror. She didn’t know who was in the kitchen, but she sure as hell didn’t want to meet them looking quite as messy as she did right now.

Entering the kitchen a few minutes later, face washed and hair tied back, Y/N saw Ben with his back to her, busy with the toaster, in his joggers. At the table was a young, tall, blonde haired girl, who was wearing one of Ben’s sweaters.

‘Hi!’ Y/N said brightly as she came in.

Ben swung round, and smiled at her brightly, looking almost relieved to see her.

‘Hey, Y/N. This is Bella’ he said, gesturing at the blonde girl sat at the table.

‘Nice to meet you Bella! Is there any chance of some toast Ben? I won’t intrude for too long, I’m meeting Charlie at 2’

As Ben turned round to the toaster, you sat down at the table.

‘I’m sure I recognise you from somewhere’ Bella said. Thinking she was referring to Ben, you didn’t glance up from your phone.

‘Y/N, isn’t it? Yeah I’m sure I recognise you from somewhere’

‘Me? Sorry, I’m so used to people asking Ben that. Um, maybe, I’m on the news quite a bit - I’m a political commentator’

‘That’s it! We always have News24 on in the background at work- I must have spotted you then!’

You smile vaguely at her, with limited desire to prolong the discussion. ‘Where do you work Bella?’

‘I do PR. That’s actually how we met last night’ she giggled slightly and turned to Ben, who smiles vaguely at her, before quickly turning away. ‘I did the PR for the event we were both at’

‘Oh nice’ Y/N said vaguely.

‘I’m just going to hop into the shower, will you be ok Bella? Help yourself to any food while I’m gone’ Ben said, already out the door.

Bella smiled at him as he leaves, resembling a hungry chiwawa.

‘So, I can imagine Ben brings loads of girls back here’ Bella said turning back to Y/N. Feeling slightly annoyed to be being talked to again (did this girl not understand mornings?) Y/N said ‘only about as many as I bring back myself’. She winked at Bella, who looked taken aback.

You mock checking the time. ‘Oh shit, I need to dash. Really lovely to meet you Bella’

‘Yeah, you too! Hopefully I’ll see you again’ Bella called after you.

You smiled to yourself as you went back to your bedroom. You knew the likelihood of that was next to nothing.

—————-

After making sure that Bella had left, you drifted into the living room and sunk into a sofa. Ben sulked in after you, towel slung around his waist and droplets of water falling down his chest.

After lockdown had ended, it had been agreed that Ben would move in permanently with you and Catherine. You were more than happy with that. You loved having Ben around, loved the domestic fluffiness of it all. Only, with Ben moving in had also come the trickle of women who fell out of his bedroom.

‘A blonde named Bella who works in PR. Really Ben? You’re becoming some sort of seedy playboy- are you sure you’re not batman by night?’

Ben laughed, but looked slightly embarrassed.

‘I hope we didn’t keep you awake last night. Bella was really loud’ he says.

You snort. ‘No don’t worry, I was out like a light; fucking shattered. My new pills are knocking me out like clockwork. Anyway, just loud makes a welcome change to that squeaky one a few weeks back’

Ben laughs. ‘Christ, what was her name?’

You shrug at him. ‘If you can’t remember I’m certainly not going to. She could definitely remember yours though’. She imitated Ben’s squeaky one night stand ‘ooooh Ben, yeah just there- eeeek!’

Ben chucked a cushion at her. ‘Shut up, you’re triggering too many memories’ he laughs.

‘All I’m saying is I think you need a better vetting process’ Y/N said as she left the room, pausing to ruffle Ben’s hair as she left.

Y/N sat back on her bed. Absentmindedly her hand crept towards her panties, and slid beneath her waistband. It wasn’t a coincidence that the first thing that came to mind was Ben’s glistening post shower abs. She imagined that instead of going back to her room, she had instead gone over to him, and stared him straight in the eye as she pulled his towel away from him. Sinking down on her knees she had engulfed his dick with her mouth, and looking up, had seen him staring down at her, eyelids fluttering. She was still picturing his face as she came, quickly, brutally, writhing in her bed, his name on her lips.

This wasn’t the first time she’d got off to Ben whilst they’d lived together. In many ways it was quite useful having such a cache of material wondering around the house she could select from. She’d got quite good at telling herself she was just physically attracted to Ben. She loved Ben as a friend and a small part of her wanted to spend the night with him again. That wasn’t so unusual. Friends slept together all the time. Maybe if she could sleep with him again she could stop thinking about him. You laughed at yourself the first time it occurred to you. It was ridiculous and stupid and so unlikely to help. And it wasn’t as if she would ever act on it. He clearly wasn’t interested.

—————

That evening, it was just you and Ben in the house, Catherine was away staying at a yoga retreat in the Peak District. You’d been feeling increasingly unwell as the night progressed, and at 9:30 had muttered your excuses and headed to bed. As you were stood brushing your teeth, you suddenly felt incredibly light headed and before you had had the chance to sit down or steady yourself, you had fallen to the floor.

You came to a minute or so later, Ben peering over you looking concerned. As you opened your eyes his face flooded with relief. As you raised your head off the ground you realised he had placed you in the recovery position.

‘What happened?’ You asked, groggily, putting your face in your hands.

‘I’m not too sure. I just heard this crash from the bathroom, and shouted to see if you were ok. When you didn’t reply I came to check on you, and found you on the floor. You can’t have been out for very long- have you hurt yourself at all?’ He asked.

‘I don’t think so. I feel awful though, like I’m going to faint again’

‘Ok, I’m going to help you get into the living room,’ Ben said.

He gently lifted you to your feet, and as you steadied yourself, wiped a strand of hair out of your eyes. He cupped your face with his hands and your eyes met, yours glassy from your faint and his wide, full of concern.

Established on the sofa, you felt much better. Ben insisted however, on calling 101, much to your derision.

‘I’m calling them whether you like it or not, Y/N. Whether you speak to them or not is your choice, but I want to make sure you’re ok’

————

‘This is all such an overreaction’ you complained as Ben bundled you in his sweatshirt and helped you on with your jacket. ‘I fainted! It happens to people all the time. I don’t need to go to the hospital’

‘You heard what the woman said. She was worried it was a reaction to your medication. Come on, our Uber is here’ Ben said, offering you his hand to lead you out the door.

You held onto his hand the entire short journey to the hospital. You couldn’t quite place why, but it was comforting, warm, and he didn’t seem to resist. Once inside, checked in and sat on cold, hard backed plastic chairs, Ben had made sure you were settled before heading off to find a vending machine. He returned a few minutes later with a Diet Coke for himself and a bottle of water for you.

‘I thought caffeine was probably a bad idea until you’ve seen the doctor’ he said, registering your displeasure as you looked at the water bottle he had handed you.

You rested your head on his shoulder, and must have dozed off because the next thing you knew he was nudging you awake.

‘Come on, Y/N, they’ve just called us’ he whispered gently, helping you to your feet.

In the consultants office, you both sat down, and you handed your coat to Ben.

‘Y/N Y/L/N, right? And this must be your partner-‘

‘Flatmate’ both you and Ben said in unison

‘Sorry, flatmate. What’s been the matter today Y/N?’

You briefly explained the evenings events, looking to Ben occasionally for him to fill in any blanks you couldn’t remember.

‘The 101 lady thought it might be a reaction to some of the medication I’m on. I’ve just upped my dose of Zoloft, and she wondered if that could be it’

‘Do you mind me asking what you’re on that for?’ The doctor asked.

‘You name it, I’ve got it!’ You said brightly. ‘I’m on the Zoloft for my PTSD and depression, and until recently I was on beta blockers for my anxiety, but they were interacting with my asthma medication too much so my doctor took me off them and upped my Zoloft dose’

‘So you’re now on 150 a day?’ The doctor said, flicking through his notes.

You nodded.

‘I reckon that’s what it is, if I’m honest’ he said, turning to you. ‘That’s a big dose, and while it’s clearly what you need, it’s likely to have a few side effects with it. Fainting, or feeling light headed is quite common. If it doesn’t subside in a couple of days, I’d go back to your doctor, but for the meantime I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

You and Ben were silent in the Uber home. You were exhausted from the nights events, and still not feeling very well. Ben was staring out of the window, seemingly lost in thought.

‘Are you ok?’ You finally asked, as you took your coat off, glad to be home at last. ‘You’ve been quiet for the past 5 minutes which is completely out of character’.

‘Yeah I’m fine. Just glad you’re ok, it was quite a shock coming in and finding you like that... I didn’t realise just how bad your mental health was either. I know we’ve talked about it in the past, but you’ve always been quite blasé about it’

‘Yeah. I guess I don’t feel like there’s much to talk about. I just try and get on with it. No point burdening your friends with it unless you need to’ you said.

‘It wouldn’t be a burden though, not at all. I don’t want you to feel you can’t talk to me about things. I mean, I tell you all sorts of random shit, it’s definitely my turn to listen to you’

You yawn widely.

‘You must be fucking knackered’ Ben said. ‘Get into bed and I’ll bring you some tea’.

As you headed to bed he shouted after you ‘Do you want a hot water bottle too? It’s really cold tonight!’

You smiled slightly to yourself at his fussiness before you responded.

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagines #ben hardy x reader

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silverdecepticon93 · 4 years

Note

How do the Riddlers react when caught making out with reader?

This is about as NSFW as I’m getting (it’s not even NSFW, just steamy.) Also, sorry, these are more scenerois instead of reactions.

Harley Quinn Riddler:

This smug bastard, I swear.

It was during a Legion of Doom meeting and usually, you and Edward were the earliest ones there.

You had also just redesigned your new villain costume and the moment Edward saw you, he just couldn’t help but fawn and adore you.

What was meant to be an endearing and adorable kiss on the cheek turned into a full blow make-out session.

Not only that but you were on his lap, your arms around his neck as his hands were holding you by your hips.

“Yeah, so anyways, I was thinking that- HOLY SHIT!” Lex exclaimed the moment he walked into the room.

You and Edward immediately broke apart to see Lex, along with your other fellow villains staring at you two with a shocked and gaping mouths.

You were a blushing mess after that, trying to get up from his lap but he kept his grip on your hips firm.

“Oh come on, it’s not like they don’t know.” Edward shrugged.

“WE DON’T NEED TO SEE FOR OURSELVES!” Lex growled.

Meanwhile Scarecrow was patting down his pockets, “Please tell me this is a fear gas hallucination, it’s my chair their sitting in!”

Needless to say, it was a very awkward meeting for everyone but Eddie, who kept sending you seductive looks and an annoying hot smirk.

Arkham Riddler:

He’d be the most flustered one out of you two, he was working on his newest plan to take over Gotham and you became concerned with how late he was staying up.

So, to assure you he’d be coming to bed soon, he gave you a goodnight kiss. Which escalated and turned into him making out with you.

“Hey Boss, what do you want to do with the-uh...” One henchmen frowned, staring at the scene before him dumbfoundedly.

You two didn’t even see the poor guy because of how focused you were with each other.

“What’s taking so long- Oh.” Another henchmen growled, only to see what his companion was looking at.

When Edward does finally take notice of them, he immediately breaks away from you.

his hair is slightly disheveled, as is the tie on his suit, but that doesn’t make him any less scary as he glares at his two underlings.

“What are you two looking at?!” He fumed, his face either red from embarrassment or anger, maybe even both.

Meanwhile, your hiding your face in embarrassment as Edward began to chew out and threaten the underlings that had the misfortune of seeing you two make out with each other.

Needless to say, it was hard for all of you involved to go to sleep.

Justice League Action Riddler:

It was when Batman, Green Arrow, and Wonder Woman needed to enlist Edward’s help for a case to catch The Joker.

Considering Edward gave Wonder Woman a business card, it wasn’t that hard to find him, but they weren’t prepared for the scene they saw when they opened the door.

You were being dipped by Eddie, an arm around your waist as you held tightly to his neck, and his other arm was holding the back of your head to deepen the kiss.

“Excuse us.” Batman frowned, Diana and Oliver too horrified to speak.

Edward immediately stood up at the sound of Batman’s voice, an arm around your waist as a red blush was growing on both your faces.

“Uh...yes, how may I help you?” Edward coughed awkwardly, now removing his arm to neaten your appearance.

“You can get that image out of my head for starters.” Wonder Woman said absentmindedly.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Oliver gagged.

You frowned and crossed your arms over your chest, obviously not liking the reactions you guys were getting.

“Then maybe you should knock next time, “ Edward growled as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, making you lean your head on his chest.

Batman simply acted like he did not just see you two make-out and inform Riddler about the situation.

Of course, you and Eddie had brushed aside the fact that you two made out in front of three heroes and listened intently as Batman told you details about Joker’s newest plot.

But you two have permanently scarred Oliver and Diana, like, they now have a problem looking directly at you two.

Young Justice Riddler:

The Light had a base in Gotham City where the Team was 100% sure that The Riddler and you were planning your next plot for The Light so Robin and Artemis were sent in to retrieve information.

There were meta scanners so any unauthorized meta-human who entered the building alerted everyone else in the compound so it was up to Artemis and Robin to retrieve information and they did...just not the information anyone wanted.

They managed to find you and Riddler but it wasn’t what they were expecting and...kinda scarring if anything.

One hand of yours was grasping Edward’s tie to bring him down to your level as your other was running through his brown hair

Meanwhile, Edward had his arms wrapped tightly around your waist as his lips continued to sloppily yet passionately meld with yours.

“Gross!” Artemis gagged, only to gain both you and Eddie’s attention.

You two were shocked before you finally pressed a button nearby the table, one that released Dr. Ivo’s MONQI’s and put the whole building on lockdown and high alert.

So while Artemis and Robin were fighting off the MONQI’s and trying to escape the building, you hid your flustered face in Eddie’s chest as he rubbed your back comfortingly.

“I’m going to make sure you two aren’t getting out of this building alive!” Eddie growled, glaring at the two.

“I wanna die,” You whined into your boyfriend’s chest.

“Aw, it’s alright, baby.” He assured, his harsh tone becoming soft and comforting as he ran his fingers through your hair.

While Edward might be pissed at the moment, you could tell he was embarrassed about being caught by two teenagers based off the tomato-red blush on his cheeks.

TNBA Riddler:

He had a meeting with Two-Face but it wasn’t for a few more hours.

So he saw no harm in smothering you with affection before the gangster finally came.

With that being said, he had hugged you from behind as he trailed kisses up from your shoulder to your neck before finally up to your lips.

His hands trailed up and down your waist and hips as you used one hand to gently caress the side of his face.

Unfortunately for Two-Face, he had decided to arrive an hour earlier than usual and stumbled onto the scene.

Like, he literally saw this and just stopped in his tracks, his brain immediately shut down and he...he was just stunned.

“Oh, Mr. Dent!” You exclaimed in surprise.

“Two-Face?!” Your boyfriend exclaimed before looking up, “Oh, uh...sorry you had to see that.”

You guys fucking broke him.

Like, he just stared at you two with a dead look in his eyes and you exchanged a worried look with Eddie.

When Harvey does come to his senses, he just acts like he didn’t see anything and continues with the meeting as usual.

Except there is a lot of awkward tension.

BTAS Riddler:

Batman was currently on a case involving the Riddler and another one of his confusing plots. He was getting so annoyed he decided to get information from the source.

So when he went to the Riddler’s new suite, he was not expecting the king of conundrums to be laying on his couch with you on top of him, your hands gripping at his suit as you pulled him into a kiss.

Eddie didn’t seem to mind as well, based off the way he smiled against the kiss and the way he ran his hands up your thighs.

“Nygma.” Batman eventually said, getting the Riddler’s attention

“Bats!?” Edward gasped, breaking away from you before glaring at the Dark Knight, “What are you doing here?”

You immediately climbed off of your boyfriend but also glared at Batman, a bit annoyed and embarrassed he intruded on you and Eddie’s intimate moment.

“You’re planning something big and you are going to tell me what it is.” Batman frowned but he didn’t expect Edward to be so cross with him.

Much so that he actually jabbed Batman’s chest angrily“The only things I’m planning to do at the moment is asking you to leave so I can continue enjoying my night with my darling (Y/n)!” Edward growled, “So if you wouldn’t mind.”

He was actually very livid and while it wasn’t that intimidating, Batman was still a bit fearful at the look of pure venom you were giving him.

So he left, meanwhile, Edward simply walked over to you with an exasperated sigh.

“I’m so sorry, Darling,” He sighed before pulling you into his lap with a mischevious smile on his face, “how on earth can I make it up to you?”

It’s safe to say, he had a few idea on how to make it up to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little Disclaimer: I made a Riddler group chat for all my dollies who are interested, just comment or send me a message and I’ll invite you!

#Young Justice x reader #Young Justice x you #Dc x reader #Dc x you #The Riddler x reader #The Riddler x you #Edward Nygma x reader #Edward Nygma x you #Edward Nigma x reader #Edward Nigma x you

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