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#basically all my socials gets to see different sides of me
aiura-stan · 6 hours
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0-6!
(If you’re wondering how I’m getting these done so fast, it’s because I’m doing these ahead of time. I'm running on a queue.) I used dictation and actual keyboard typing for this one, so it’s going to be long. (Side note, I love the ability to dictate things and using split screen mode! Highly useful features and I have no idea why it’s taken me this long to actually use them.) Also, I guess I should say that there will be spoilers in this and probably future posts too, because I’ve already read the manga. Okay! Onto the commentary.
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I love that Saiki outright states he doesn't want to be the "guy you know what he's thinking.” Like, come on Saiki, admit it; you have a little bit in common with Kaidou. (I think he secretly kind of likes freaking people out. He definitely likes the fact that people are a little scared of him.)
He's always the odd one out; He's one of the loner kids. I don't think he really thinks it makes him look normal. I think that's just what he tells himself to feel better about the whole thing.
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I think it's funny that he dislikes Kaidou for the same reasons that he thinks he's so different from everyone else. I mean, Kaidou is always trying to stand out, and Saiki does have a legitimate reason for not wanting to stand out. But even so. He’s just got it in his head that is so much better than Kaidou at the beginning of the series. Like, dude, you're no different from him. You're the same breed of weirdo in a different font. Lol. That font is “really intentionally manipulating others’ perception of you for personal reasons.” It’s just that Kaidou’s version is much flashier than yours. I like seeing it this early on in the comic; it's interesting to see how it all started. Also, Kaidou is a lot more polite than Nendou, apologizing for talking to Saiki out of nowhere. Amusing. He absolutely knows how to behave like a normal person, but chooses not to because his persona gives him confidence.
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I also like that here in the beginning of the comic, we have an unnamed guy who is was basically parroting what Kuuusuke says further on in the comic, and it’s more clearly framed as delusional weirdo behavior.
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Yes, duh, he came to you because you were alone, Saiki. Weirdo behavior attracts weirdos (weirdos attract weirdos.) That's just a basic social law for ya.
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Also, I laughed out loud at “okay, I’m calling you Junpei.” good response, honestly. Saiki’s narrative commentary addressed to no one in particular is always really funny.
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He also seems to be egging him on in the next panel with his sarcastic remarks (wow. Your punch was soooo fast I couldn’t see it at all), though it’s never clear in this manga whether the person being spoken about can actually hear anything he’s saying in all of its dry sarcasm. My headcanon follows the lines that Saiki uses hypnosis when he’s not actively addressing them (sending telepathic messages to them), so people just hear whatever they want to hear from him. Or something like that. I’m guessing that we, the readers, are supposed to assume that they can’t hear him unless Saiki is actively sending them telepathic messages/‘broadcasts’. "I fancy you" is a strangely British way of putting it. Which also means "I like-like you" if memory serves. Translators??? strange. anyways.
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Ah… XD. I forgot that Kaidou saw him teleport in the manga. That’s perfect considering Kaidou’s name joke (shunkaidou = teleportation.) wahh, I wish this one came in the tankobon volumes so I could read them.
You know… since the third chapter of this volume was adapted into the anime, can volume 0 really be called non-canon? Maybe to the manga. Hmmmmmm.
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Oh come on. Why didn’t they put this in the anime??? It would have been hilarious to have Kaidou imagining some kind of green monster-humanoid hybrid and then the screen transitions to Saiki’s expressionless face, with pink limiters and green glasses. There’s an element of color that manga sadly lacks. I get the point with the black arrows, Mr. Asou, but it just isn’t quite the same without actual color.
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XD Asou’s attention to detail is good. We actually see the teacher wondering where the hell he’s going when he runs out of the room, and then following through showing that he won’t be running students down just to make sure they stay in class. It’s a small thing, but it definitely makes a difference, making the Saikiverse seem a bit more realistic.
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Also, look, it’s this guy who appears a bajillion chapters later in that weird gag… What was his name again? Gah… refer back to this later, future me.
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Yes, Kaidou becomes a completely different person outside of his riddiculous chunnibyou persona, which he only uses at school. I do like that Asou sensei writes him this way. It would be easier to have him be in character all the time, but he’s much more realistic like this. I love that Saiki remembers the stupid nickname he gave himself. It makes the contrast even more funny. Okay, I’ll stop analyzing Kaidou and explaining every joke for now.
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XD XD XD
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Things like this make me wonder if Saiki really doesn’t know that’s how his looks might be interpreted at a distance… even though he understood from the verbal description that he could be perceived as having “pink horns” and “green eyes.” And he spaces out in class just thinking about it. Thoroughly neurodivergent behavior.
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I also love things like this, that imply but don’t outright show that Nendou just… openly teleports in front of Nendou because he can get away with it.
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I also enjoy Saiki’s stubbornness in calling Kaidou ‘Junpei.’ Peak comedy.
I love that Kaidou would rather Saiki think he has multiple personalities instead of just being polite to people outside of school. And Saiki says he appreciates the effort… lol. I think he does actually appreciate it, in a way, sarcasm aside. Kaidou is committed to the bit.
“Whether that’s true or not, you need to get to a hospital.” Lollll. But also… makes me wonder if he really believes it, again. That along with the “Kaidou personality chart” further on in this comic. From Saiki’s other confrontations with people who clearly need help (including the one where he talks down a suicidal guy. And of course Terushashi’s brother.) It’s as if it never even occurred to saiki to have a sense of urgency about these kinds of things.
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Mmmm! Once again I wish I had the Japanese version because I’m sure he is using polite speech here, for a minute.
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Well, at least Kaidou acknowledges here that he’s in fact a chunni and therefore doing this on purpose. Which, again, makes me wonder why Saiki would ever believe even for a second that it isn’t an intentional thing. Or maybe it’s just supposed to be taken as sarcasm outright, but the panel where Saiki is confused about the Horns Saiki drawing really is throwing me off. Another thing I should look for raws of, to see if there’s anything to be gleaned from the OG text.
YES! You and saiki are pretty similar. In a way. Yes, he is worrying about his high school debut… in a way.
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Saiki, it is entirely understandable that you think Kaidou is an egomaniac, but given his “other personality,” how did you not guess that he’s just lonely??? He literally had to explain his entire thought process for you to get it??? Yeah, emotional EQ in the single digits.
Earlier, I said Kaidou knew full well how to act like a normal person and just doesn’t do it, but he’s definitely awkward. I mean, of course it’s going to be awkward asking strangers if they’ve seen a guy with green eyes, sharp teeth and horns. (I am not quite sure why Kaidou is so committed to the bit myself.)
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LMAO?!?
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Saiki, that’s your own goddamned fault, lmao. Put your money where your mouth is and shut him down if you’re tired of annoying people “entering your life”… :)
That wraps up 0-6.
There’s a lot going on here, to be sure. In conclusion, I think Saiki works really well here as a character who is technically omniscient, in terms of perspective, but deeply limited in his ability to interpret information.
Alright, the end. Ja mata! 💫
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xhanisai · 1 year
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My art twitter: Calm, almost professional, polite and well curated.
My main twitter: HORNY! UNHINGED! THIRSTY! SPAMS WITH RETWEETS! SCREAMING! DRUNK! DRUNK! DRUUUUUNK!
My tumblr: Actual screaming.
My pixiv: *silence*
My DeviantArt: *tombstone*
My art instagram: Just...art.
My main instagram: *also dead except for messaging*
My snapchat: CHAOS!!!!!!!!
My discord: All of this combined.
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hua-fei-hua · 2 years
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actually my ideal role in a fan community would be that of philosopher, where i start asking mods/admins questions about the rules and what they Mean in order to obtain Maximum Clarity (for Neurodivergent Reasons(tm) ofc) and probably also promote greater understanding btwn community members and casuals looking in
#like. i think the greeks were onto something when plato(?) said that a government should have an official philosopher in it#it's that or it's just the 'child of church leaders' thing that led me to ask my parents abt community building n management at dinner today#bc i was curious as to whether any of what they'd learned in seminary school could apply to fandom or w/e#like. christianity kind of is just a fandom. a really massive fandom that has its creepy parts its unsavory parts it culty parts#its liberal sides/interpretations and its conservative sides/interpretations etc etc all bc of the existence of one source material#like scaling is ofc the major difference btwn christianity (a religion) and fandom (a hobby (i hope)) which results in very real power#but anyway they're both fragmented into littler denominations that have their spats as *communities* see that's the key here /community/#anyway justification for using religious source/insp/whatever done what was i trying to get at here.#ah. well i guess an important role a philosopher would have in a community would be to prevent the formation of dogma#like. i hate it when people say things and expect common sense (or assumptions based on their personal worldview) to fill in the gaps#it's like my complaint abt how places have rules that literally JUST SAY 'don't be weird'#i've been in fandom long enough to know what you mean by 'weird'. BUT I'VE READ TOO MUCH ABT HISTORIANS GOING MAD BC NO ONE WRITES DOWN WHAT#THEIR BASIC ASSUMPTIONS ARE BC NO ONE THINKS TO THINK OF THEM LET ALONE QUESTION OR DEFINE THEM CLEARLY#RULES should be made clear such that people NOT ALREADY INTIMATELY FAMILIAR WITH THE COMMUNITY can understand them too!!!!!#imagine if in school the syllabus said 'basic classroom rules etc' instead of like. actually saying what was/wasn't allowed.#you probably could get away with that in middle/high school but they've been socialized to that sort of thing by then#idk vague rules n statements infuriate me to some degree and make me want to toe the line So Badly bc i was a horrible child lol#clarity of instruction and strict (but not cruel) enforcement that is based on understanding the rule's spirit and intent#are imperative to community maintenance and health imo#花話
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snoowpee · 2 months
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all mine - s.jy
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Pairing ⇾ bestfriend!jake x bestfriend!reader
Genre ⇾ smut, a little bit of fluff
Warnings ⇾ unprotected sex (you know you don’t want kids!), making out, slight food play, marking, ass slapping, pussy slapping, name calling (whore), dirty talking, fingering, mentions of nudes & masturbation, oral (f. receiving), face riding, filming, hair pulling, jerking off, riding, possessiveness, choking. I might’ve missed something but that’s the gist of it, enjoy!
Summary ⇾ being best friends with jake is all fun and games until you get jealous with how sociable he is with other girls.
Word count ⇾ 4.4k words
Playlist ⇾ Summer Walker (feat. Jhené Aiko) - I’ll Kill You.
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Science class is boring the hell out of you. You watched the clock on the wall, counting down how many more minutes of suffering you had to endure. Great! fifteen minutes left. I’m going to lose it, if this class doesn’t end soon. You grumbled. Putting your head down on top of your folded arms.
You turned to face the male seated beside you, when you felt a hand grazed the left side of your waist. “The work isn’t gonna do itself,” Jake quietly whispered, not wanting to disrupt the class, he smirked, eyes twinkling with mischief. You discreetly flipped him off. Jake bit his lips to prevent a grin, but failed to do so.
“Do you have soccer practice afterschool?” You asked, changing the subject to suppress the rising thoughts in your head.
“Yeah,” Jake nodded.
“Bummer, I was gonna ask you to re-teach me the whole lesson today,” Jake knew you meant a whole different thing by the way your eyes lit up.
“I can swing by your place after practice, how does that sound, princess?” Jake whispered, mouthing the pet-name, careful even in his hushed tone to not let anybody hear. 
“Sounds good to me, Jakey,” you shrugged. He scoffed at the nickname while your mouth stretched into a smile.
The clock ticked a few more times until the bell finally rang, indicating that class was over. You and Jake both packed your stuff, heading in different directions after. Just have to get through English class. You grumbled again, wanting school to end, so that you could lay down on your bed.
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English class wasn’t so bad for you, knowing that you had friends to keep you entertained during it. The whole day, you assumed that time seemed to pass by very slowly, but to your surprise, it flew during English class.
After bidding goodbye to your friends, you made your way to the school’s field, where Jake was at. As soon as you realized that the weather was pretty nice, you decided to watch his practice for a bit.
When you reached the field you saw Jake and his friends talking to a group of girls. You recognized that a few of the girls are from your History class, and some are friends with your friends.
As you sat on the bleachers, Heeseung and Sunghoon noticed your presence, excusing themselves politely before taking long strides towards you.
“We felt bad seeing you all by yourself, so we wanted to keep you company while Jake’s getting his cock wet.” Sunghoon snickered at Heeseung’s remark.
“Man, you gotta see how many of the girls are asking for his socials. Man’s famous,” Sunghoon said as he took a seat beside you, Heeseung following ensuite.
“It must be so tough to be friends with a whore,” Heeseung feigned sympathy. Before you could respond with a witty remark, a familiar voice spoke.
“You better not be hitting on my best friend!” Jake shouted from where he was standing. Heeseung and Sunghoon bursted out in fits of laughter.
“No way, he’s still calling you his best friend?” Sunghoon teased. “Damn, I wouldn’t be calling you that if I were him, especially after blowing your back,” Sunghoon gave you a knowing look, you shrugged.
“I don’t know, Park. I don’t kiss and tell,” you teasingly smiled at him.
“You two need to get this shit sorted out…” Heeseung butted in. “…cause from what I’m seeing, you two are basically best friends who are lowkey fucking each other, but sometimes you two act like you’re in a relationship, and it’s madly confusing. I don’t mean to pry, but trust me it’s that obvious.”
“You should tell your buddy,” you shrugged again. “I know what I want. I’m not too sure about your teammate, though.” 
All three of you turned to look at the soccer coach, your talk being interrupted by hearing a whistle blow.
“I’m pretty sure he’ll figure it out…” Sunghoon stood up. “…or maybe he did already.” Sunghoon said before he and Heeseung both waved goodbye to you.
You watched as the whole soccer team gathered, in the form of a circle, to debrief the events that took place from their last game, which didn’t take too long. 
When the coach ordered the team to warm up, your mouth watered at the sight of Jake’s hot, focused expression, eyes blazing with competitiveness. 
Afterwards, the team was split into two groups, one group wore a green mesh pinnie while the other wore a blue mesh pinnie. You heard the whistle blow again, signaling the start of a practice game. It took awhile for the game to end but you couldn’t deny that it was a little bit entertaining.
Once boredom overcame your senses, you fished out your phone, texting Jake to let him know that you were leaving already. You made your way to where your car was parked and drove home, which didn’t take too long. 
When you arrived at your place, you changed into comfy clothes, before deciding to take a nap.
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You woke up to a blanket of darkness surrounding you. You reached for your phone to check the time, seven thirty, Jake was surely done with his practice by now. You unlocked your phone to entertain you while you wait for Jake to arrive.
You were scrolling through Twitter when you heard your bedroom door swing open, “Hey princess…” Jake’s voice was husky, he sighed audibly. “…practice was rough today.”
You paused, Jake had his back facing you, his upper body naked, with a towel around his waist, his black hair a little wet, probably from the shower he just had. He smelt just like you. 
“Where were you?” you had to know if he took a shower at your place again. Jake turned around to face you, whilst your eyes wandered to admire his broad shoulders and his toned abdomen, all displayed in front of you. “I mean, when did you get here?” You cleared your throat.
“Like what you see?” Jake bit his lips while smiling. 
You threw your phone to the side and walked up to him, you grabbed one of his shirts from his duffel bag, shoving the shirt to his face. Jake chuckled whilst leaning in to wrap his arms around your waist, burying his face where your shoulder and neck meet. You squirm under his touch, feeling his wet bare skin against the fabric of your shirt, his breath hits the skin of your neck and you feel him pressed a kiss on the said area. 
“I got here earlier, I didn’t want to wake you up, though. You looked so pretty sleeping,” Jake’s hands traveled down to grope your ass, he playfully slapped it, rubbing it in a circular motion after. “Did you get a new body wash?” Jake kissed your jaw, you hummed in response. “I like it, it smells good.”
“Yeah? You better not finish the whole bottle before I try it,” you teased, kissing Jake’s damp hair while he giggled.
“I’ll try not to,” Jake sighed, inhaling your scent after, your hands busy playing with his wet hair.
“I want ice cream,” you wrapped your arms around his neck. “Get dressed, Jakey,” you pinched one of his cheeks.
“What the princess wants, the princess gets,” Jake saluted, pulling himself away from you to grab his clothes. He gave you a look whilst you stood there.
“What?” you asked confused.
“Are you gonna watch me get dressed?” Jake asked.
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” you shrugged.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, princess,” He let out a breath, you snickered.
“I’m just kidding,” you sickeningly smiled at him as he rolled his eyes.
Before Jake can remove the towel around his waist, you turn around and lay on your stomach, busying yourself with your phone. After a while, you felt Jake slapped your ass, catching you off guard.
“Let’s go,” Jake hooked his arms around your waist, lifting you up with ease.
“I’m driving!” You said attempting to reach for Jake’s car keys, his arms around your waist preventing you to do so.
“No, you’re not,” Jake pecked your lips as you pouted, glaring at him. “C’mon, let’s go,” Jake intertwined his hand with yours, leading the way to his car. You tried getting in the driver’s seat before Jake, but he locked the car before you could open the door. “What a stubborn girl,” Jake shakes his head, smiling at your pissed expression.
“Please…” you drag out the word, putting your hands together, while you exaggerate your pout. Jake thought you were the cutest.
“Tough luck, princess,” Jake opened the car door to the passenger seat, motioning for you to get in. You sighed in defeat, rolling your eyes at a smiling Jake before you got in. 
Jake got in the car, turning on the engine right after, he drove to the direction of the nearest fast food chain that serves ice cream, pulling up to the drive thru to order for you. 
“Can I get one regular oreo ice cream? Yeah, thanks,” Jake drove ahead, the car halting a few moments after. 
Jake rolled down the car window, tapping his card on the machine, he rolled up the window handing you the cup of ice cream.
“Thanks Jakey!” You beamed upon eating a scoop.
“Nah babe, I want a kiss,” he smiled playfully as he pulled out of the parking lot, his right hand fell on top of your left thigh. You leaned in, pecking his lips.
“Satisfied?” you raised an eyebrow.
“Nah,” he steered the steering wheel with one hand, the car stopped at a stoplight and he looked at you with a teasing smile. He bit his lip trying to suppress it, but failed. You wanted to slap the eat-shiting grin he had on, losing it when his tongue darted out to lick the corners of his lips.
“You don’t wanna get on my nerves right now, Sim.” He lightly laughed at your ‘threat’ while you busy yourself with scooping the ice cream, feeding it to him after.
“Where do you wanna go, princess?” Jake asked, squeezing your thigh, eyes focused on the road.
You ponder for a while, “Any ideas?” you asked him.
“We can stop by the park? Go straight to your place, maybe watch a movie? If you’re up to drink we can go get liquor? I don’t really know, princess. It depends on what you want to do.” Jake’s eyes go back and forth between you and the road.
“Let’s stop by the supermarket,” you mumbled, mouth full of ice cream. Jake nodded, driving to the direction of the nearest supermarket. 
Jake spots a vacant spot, parking the car, when you’ve reached the parking lot of your destination.
You unbuckle your seatbelt, climbing onto Jake’s lap. “What are you up to, princess,” Jake chuckled as you straddled him.
“Nothing,” you mischievously smiled at him. 
You pressed a kiss on his lips, pulling away before he gets the chance to explore your mouth with his tongue. “Not so fast, Jakey,” you proceed to eat the remaining ice cream.
“You’re such a tease…” Jake cheekily smiled, “…Do you really want to go to the supermarket?” Jake’s hand caressed your skin underneath your shirt. You shivered due to his cold fingers. Jake found your reaction amusing.
“Well you weren’t gonna pullover when I told you to! What was I supposed to say?!” You reasoned out, Jake snickered. “Can I please drive?” you begged.
“Why do you wanna drive so bad?” Jake rests his head against your shoulder.
“There’s no special reason, I just wanna drive,” you played with his fluffy hair.
“Sorry, princess. Answers still no,” Jake said, you pulled on his hair so you could look him in the eye.
“I will ride your face, if you let me drive,” you deadpanned.
“Tempting, but nope,” Jake pecked your lips, your tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip. Pulling away from him to scoop the ice cream, feeding it to him. Once he had the ice cream in his mouth, you kissed him again, with your tongue exploring his mouth. You can taste the sweetness of the oreo ice cream against his tongue, as the mixture of his drool and the melted ice cream dribbles out from the corners of his mouth.
You placed the cup on the cupholder, your arms wrapping around Jake’s neck to pull him closer, while Jake does the same but with your waist. You both fight for dominance for a while, Jake losing as you grind down on him. You pulled away to lick the dripping drool on the corners of his mouth, Jake groaned as you pressed down on him harder.
“You’re so messy, princess,” Jake bites your collarbones.
“That’s how you like it,” you whispered into his ear.
“Alright, you’re driving,” Jake finally caved in, he sighed as you squealed. “But no over-speeding!” Jake pinched your cheeks.
“I don’t do that!” you defended yourself. Jake gave you a look. “That was one time, Jakey!”
“Sure, princess. What about the other day? Or the day after we went to that party? Last week? When you picked me and Jay up from the mall? Or when you drove us to school that one day?”
“You’re way hotter when you have your mouth shut, you know?” you made a face, Jake looked at you unamused. “Ok, you made your point. I won’t do it again!” you rolled your eyes. “Now, move!” Jake dramatically sighed again.
After Jake moved to the passenger seat, you drove all the way back to your place. 
It was safe to say that you made it alive, miraculously without speeding.
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You turned on the tv in your bedroom, sitting down on Jake’s lap, while he lay down with his head against the headboard while he had his right arm wrapped around you. As you try to pick a movie to watch, Jake was busy texting his friends, lightly laughing from time to time.
“Hey, man,” Jake laughed. Is he serious right now? you glanced at him but he was too busy to even notice. 
“Yeah, I heard. No? Wait, what? You’re kidding?” Jake continued talking through the phone. 
You can hear Sunghoon’s faint voice, explaining stuff you didn’t care about. You stood up and peered at Jake. He didn’t even notice. Let’s see if he could keep this up. With that, you discarded your shorts, leaving your purple laced panties on, one of Jake’s favorites.
You climbed back on top of him but instead of sitting yourself on top of his lap, you moved up so that you’re sitting on his chest, making sure to arch your back so he got a view of your ass. This time Jake did notice you, his hand caressing and groping your ass despite talking to Sunghoon. You jut out your ass so that it’s all up in his face, shuffling around to find a more comfortable position. 
Once you found yourself comfortable, you had your head rested on your folded arms on top of Jake’s abdomen, your legs folded on either side of Jake, with your ass way too close to Jake’s face much to his liking. 
You pull on the strings of his sweats, continuing to look for a movie to watch. You felt Jake pull you closer by your waist, pressing a kiss on your inner thigh, you groaned as he bit your asscheek after.
Jake bit his lower lip, trying to focus on what Sunghoon was saying. He was well aware that you're pining for his attention but he couldn’t hang up on Sunghoon since he was saying such interesting things. 
Jake pushed his thumb between your clothed folds, feeling the wet patch on the fabric grow, you whimpered in response to his touches. You moaned when he pulled your panties upwards, creating a friction in between your folds, stimulating your clit with the fabric rubbing against it. Jake does this for a while, leaving some bites on the flesh of your ass as he did so. At his actions, you let out soft moans loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough for Sunghoon to hear on the other line.
You audibly gasped when you felt Jake rubbed your clothed clit, jerking your ass back to feel more of him. You hear him chuckle, not sure if it’s because of what Sunghoon said or your reaction. Jake pinches your clit, pulling it and twisting, leaving you breathless. He slaps your ass, gripping the soft flesh to spread your ass apart.
“Hey, man, listen. As much as I love hearing how Jay got himself into some deep shit, I have a really important task at hand,” Jake pushed your panties to the side, he sighed when he saw a glob of arousal drip down from your hole to your folds.
“Yeah, is your best friend being needy right now?” You hear Sunghoon say on the other line.
“Fuck off,” Jake simply said, you heard Sunghoon laughed before a beeping noise indicated that the call was over. 
Jake threw his phone to the side, he pulled you impossibly closer to him before speaking. “I can’t even talk to my friends without you feeling the need to pull shit like this?” Jake slapped your cunt, a fresh glob of arousal dripping out of your hole from the action. “My cute little whore, running around impatiently wanting to get fucked,” you mewled when Jake shoved his thumb in and out of you. “Don’t I fuck you enough? You want me to always fill you up with my dick?”
“I don’t know, Jakey. You tell me…” you breathlessly spoke, “…Do you always have to look for new bitches to fuck? Knowing you jerk off to the thoughts of me wrapped around you? Knowing how good my mouth feels wrapped around you?” you hear Jake groan, his cock stirring up in his sweats, visibly getting hard.
“Fuck,” Jake bit his lips, replacing his thumb with his index and middle finger.
“You always have to call me late at night, when you’re so horny and desperate to get off? When, you have to send me pictures of your dick, begging me to do something about it? All those videos of you jerking off and putting on a show for me?” You reached for Jake’s wrist, pulling his fingers out of you. 
You leaned all the way back until you felt Jake’s plushed lips against your folds. You moaned when Jake licked your folds, tongue dipping in your hole a couple of times before licking your clit after. 
“You don’t think I know how you moan my name when you’re all alone humping your pillow? Or how desperate you sound when you whine out my name when you touch yourself?” you grind down on Jake’s tongue, his nose hitting your clit.
“You’re so hot, princess,” Jake said against your cunt, words muffled, he hugged your waist, shoving his lips against your folds.
“Right there, Jakey,” you moaned, toes curling with how good Jake was eating you out. You turn your head to the side, seeing how Jake was holding onto your waist and how he had his head buried in between your legs. The sight looked so hot. You reached for your phone, clicking on the record button before zooming in on the mirror showing the view of Jake hugging your waist while he ate you out. “Say hi, Jakey,” you bit your lips when Jake slapped your ass.
You fully sat up to sit directly on Jake’s face, both of his hands gripping your waist, you reached back to gripped his fluffy hair, pushing him closer to your cunt. You point the camera down, showing Jake under you, licking your folds and sucking on your cunt.
“You’re doing so good for me, Jakey…” the grip around your waist tightened. 
Your moans got louder when you neared your climax, seeing white as you spilled all over Jake. He helped you draw out your climax by licking you clean, pulling off of him when oversensitivity reached your senses.
Jake looked like he came out of your biggest wet dream, his swollen lips and chin shiny from the mix of his saliva and your release, fluffy hair all messy.
“Take your clothes off for me,” you film Jake following your orders without protest. He took off his shirt, throwing it to the side, he did the same with his sweats and underwear, leaving himself bare. “Show me how you touch yourself, Jakey.”
Jake looked at you then at the camera, he gripped the base of his cock, slit leaking beads of precum. He spat on the tip of his cock, whining when he stroked himself, smearing his saliva all over to lubricate his cock.
“Who do you think of when you’re all alone, Jakey?” You asked, Jake bucked his hips up when his hand gained speed, he moaned out your name loudly.
“F-Fuck…” Jake noisily whined, “Y-You’re… you’re a-all I think about!” Jake struggled to speak coherently, his hand moving impossibly fast. 
It didn’t take too long for Jake to cum, already worked up after eating you out. As he reaches the peak of his climax, white ropes of his cum shoot out of his tip, creating a mess everywhere. Jake gasped for air, trying to regulate his breathing. You stopped filming, dropping your phone to your side to climb onto Jake’s lap. He hugged your waist again, leaning his head back on the head board, closing his eyes.
Jake hissed when you bit the skin of his neck, leaving a bite mark that will surely bruise. Satisfied with what you’ve done, you continued leaving bite marks on the expanse of his neck, playing with his hair as you did so.
“What’s gotten into you?” Jake asked, exhaustion evident on his face.
You take a hold of his cock, pushing your panties to the side to line it up with your hole before sinking down, you and Jake moaning in unison at the feeling of your cunt wrapped around his dick. You let yourself adjust to Jake’s size before you moved up and down on his lap at a fast pace. Skin slapping, lewd moans, and crude language echoed throughout your bedroom.
“Nothing, I’m just claiming what’s mine,” you said, stuttering out each word. Jake’s hands rolled your shirt up, squeezing both of your tits. 
You moaned out his name when his thumbs played with your sensitive nipples. You pushed his hands away to roughly kiss him, in response Jake let you explore the cavern of his mouth with your tongue. You barely pulled away, letting him breathe for a moment, impatiently pressing your lips together to roughly make out.
Jake’s lips were swollen and shiny once you pulled away from him, leaving you satisfied. Jake gasped when he felt your right hand crept up to his neck, your fingers wrapped around his throat.
“Fuck…” Jake bit his lips, moaning out your name when you tighten your grip around his neck.
“Who do you belong to, Jakey?” you bounced on him faster, chasing your high.
“Y-You,” Jake felt lightheaded with his peak nearing. “‘m a-all yours.”
“That’s right. You’re all mine, understood?” Jake attempted to nod, your grip on him not loosening.
“Y-Yes! A-All yours,” Jake stuttered out.
Jake rubbed your clit at a speed, the knot in your stomach finally snapping as you creamed on Jake’s cock, triggering his orgasm not long after.
Jake leaned his back on the headboard behind him, catching his breath. You hugged Jake, resting your head on his shoulder, feeling the exhaustion creep in. You almost drifted into sleep with the way Jake was playing with your hair, his other arm loosely wrapped around you.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Jake spoke, breaking the silence. He carried you to your bathroom, setting you down on your toilet to let you pee, he cleaned himself up while waiting for you to finish, lending you a hand when you needed anything.
After changing into new sets of clothes, you lie down in bed with Jake to cuddle. He hissed when you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him close.
“What?” you asked Jake, confused, he didn’t answer, opting to point at his neck. You pulled down Jake’s hoodie to inspect his neck, splotches of marks adorned his neck, your handprint evident, bruising the skin. “Oh my god!” you sat up at the same time your eyes widened, Jake chuckled at your reaction. “Are you ok? I’m so sorry! I got carried away!”
“You’re good, princess,” Jake hugged you again, pulling you close as he kissed the skin of your neck. Your fingers find their way to play with his hair again. “Oh, I meant it by the way…” He rested his head on your shoulder, looking up to hold your gaze. “…I’m all yours.” Jake grinned.
“I know,” you said sporting the same expression the boy had in front of you. “You’re all mine.”
“I’m sorry for making you jealous, princess.” Jake pouted. “But I can’t guarantee that it won't happen again,” Jake teased, pointing at his neck.
“You little shit!” you flicked Jake’s neck in annoyance, making him scream at the sudden pain.
“I’m sorry! I was just kidding!” Jake hugged you tighter.
You woke up the next morning with a note from Jake, apologizing that he had to leave for practice early in the morning, not forgetting to promise a hang out with his girl after. It was safe to say that you went back to bed with a smile on your face after reading the note.
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Jake felt bad for leaving you, but it was either that or deathly exercises assigned to him by his coach. 
When he arrived at the change room, he spotted his friends by their designated lockers. Jay already changed into his jersey, Heeseung groggily changing, and Sunghoon stretching.
“About time you arrived,” Sunghoon said. “We were just talking about Jay’s dumbass. What took you so long to get here?”
“I had to stop by my place to get my shit,” Jake simply said. “Hey man,” Jake dapped Jay up. “So, what did your dad say?”
“I don’t know, man. He said he’s gonna get my car fixed, but guess what? This dude’s gonna intern at his company,” Jay pointed to himself, looking unamused.
“Yikes, you poor soul.” Jake said, pulling up his hoodie to change his clothes. His friends collectively gasped.
“Dude, you’re not gonna go out looking like that,” Sunghoon said, shocked.
“Yeah, no. Coach is gonna think you got into a fight or something,” Heeseung said mouth agape.
“What the fuck happened to you?” Jay pointed at Jake’s neck.
“Oh, this?” Jake arrogantly smirked. “My girlfriend happened.”
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© snoowpee | DO NOT COPY OR REPOST.
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maniculum · 1 month
Text
Had a baffling interaction a couple hours ago, and I think Tumblr is probably the best place to find an explanation.
I’ve mentioned on here that I have a side job at a bookstore. Today, I heard a customer make the assertion to her companion that the novel Frankenstein is “basically fanfiction”. (I don’t think this was meant as negative, but couldn’t say for sure.)
I asked her about it when she came to check out, because I had to know what that was about, right? She recounted the origin of the book — the Shelleys, Byron, & Polidori challenging each other to write horror stories, etc. I assured her I was familiar with the history, but just wanted to know why that made it fanfiction.
She said, “well, it came from a horror writing competition.”
At this point, I felt I had pushed about as much as I could in this scenario — as anyone who’s worked a customer-service job knows, when customers say nonsense at you, responding in a way that doesn’t upset them is difficult, and you kind of have to be ready to just nod and smile. So I said something along the lines of, “I don’t understand the connection, but as long as it makes sense to you.”
She chose not to elaborate further and left with her purchases.
So now I’m asking Tumblr because I figure this is the best place to find people who are familiar with unorthodox understandings of fanfiction.
Is it because it came from a competition? (This is the most sensible explanation I can think of, but that’s not saying much, because I see no link between these two concepts.)
Is it because it’s horror? (I know people get weird about genre fiction sometimes — last year someone told me they thought “Fantasy / Science Fiction” and “Young Adult” were different terms for the same genre.)
Is it because it was written for fun? (I know that the vast majority of fiction is — to a greater or lesser degree — written because the author enjoys writing, but maybe the customer doesn’t know that?)
Is it because it was written, for lack of a better word, socially? (By which I mean, is the story of its writing significant in that the initial intention was for Shelley to show it to her friends? But of course this is a group of published authors, and authors hang out to talk about & show each other their work all the time… maybe the customer wasn’t aware of that?)
These are the only options I can think of, and none of them have any link to what makes something “fanfiction” in my understanding. I’m just extrapolating from the fact that apparently the relevant distinction has something to do with it being a horror writing competition. Am I missing something? Tumblr, please, help me with this.
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nkjemisin · 8 days
Note
Hello! I’ve been seeing a lot about your work on social media lately and would love to read your books. What series do you recommend I start with?
Thanks ☺️
That depends on your taste/interest. I don't really write the same kind of thing from series to series, because I get bored easily and often want to try new subgenres/styles/etc. So I'll just briefly list my series and you can pick the one that appeals the most.
There's the Inheritance Trilogy, (link goes to the first book) my first published novels. A secondary world that has enslaved its own gods deals with the repercussions of that, from the POVs of three mortals. There's an overarching plot arc for all three books -- and there are some side-stories for this trilogy, too -- but each has a different narrator and takes place at different times. First person past tense, if you care about that sort of thing. (I don't, but some people seem weirdly attached to/repulsed by particular persons/tenses, so I'm including that info here.)
Then there's the Dreamblood Duology, which were actually written before the Inheritance books but I couldn't get them published at first because publishing in the 2000s was hella racist, basically. (I know, it hasn't changed much... but that little bit of change was enough for me to break in.) These books are as close to traditional fantasy as I'm probably ever going to get, except that they take place in faux ancient Egypt instead of faux medieval Europe. The story follows priests of the dream goddess as they're forced to deal with a conspiracy that threatens to inflict horrors on their society. Third person past tense for both books.
Next up is the Broken Earth trilogy. That's my experimental one, with first, second, and third-person POVs, present tense, a completely non-Earth world, and some heavy themes. All three books form a single story spanning, oh, forty thousand years or so, but mostly they're centered on one incredibly angry middle-aged mother who is on a roaring rampage of revenge/revolution. Features earthbenders, anti-magic groomers, magic statue people, and the apocalypse (again). Lots of "dark" themes and horror moments (harm to children, systemic bigotry, people-eating bugs, more).
My most recent books are the Great Cities duology. Urban fantasy set in modern-day New York, third person multiple POV ensemble cast. Turns out cities come to life once they hit a certain point, and then they claim a human avatar to represent and protect them. New York turns out to have six. It's also got some very unwanted tourists in the form of Lovecraftian entities that are trying to destroy it, along with reality as we know it. I meant for these to be lighthearted and silly and I think they kind of are, but there are still some notable political elements in them. (I mean, it's set in modern-day New York, and I started them the year Trump got elected, so...) It's lighthearted for me, anyway.
So, pick your poison!
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pelova4president · 4 months
Text
My muses
Laura Freigang x Sydney Lohmann x Reader
summary~ In which you fall for two German girls that are in a relationship with eachother. They’ve had their eye on you for a little while now and decide to make a move now you’re working with their national team.
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Syd and Laura are bestfriends, everyone knew that. They roomed, sat and did basically everything together. They played for different clubs but that didn’t matter, they got to see eachother more than enough.
What most people didn’t know is that they are a little more than friends, girlfriends to be exact. They didn’t really try to keep it private but everyone just thought that they were good friends since they had always been like this.
When you moved from the Netherlands to Germany it felt like a big change, you were only twenty and, ofcourse you knew a few words and sentences but that was it. German sounds a bit like Dutch but it was still hard to understand all of the difficult business words, especially when they were talking so fast.
You’ve been a sports photographer for about three years now. It began with your love for women’s football. Watching your childhood club Ajax play week in week out, you wanted to capture it. After you realised your phone camera wouldn’t do the job anymore you bought a real professional camera, it had cost you a fortune and you had to work extra hours at the cafe you served at. But honestly, it was the best decision you’ve ever made. You tried to capture moments from your seat in the stands but that was hard when the bald men in the seats in front of you stood up at every exciting pass.
Eventually, you mustered up enough courage and mailed Ajax, asking them to get access to the field to photograph the players in action. A few days later you got a response back saying that they’d like that.
After capturing many more games you signed a contract with the club, not as a player but that didn’t matter.
That’s how you got here, signing a contract with the German women’s football team as media manager and photographer. You’ve photographed some of the players because some of the girls had played against Ajax. But this was all still very new to you, working in Germany and also managing the socials.
They also didn’t really bother to introduce you to the girls, you just had to start. Or well, that’s what you understood anyway.
The start of your new era began rather hectic. The German girls were going to Italy and Portugal for some friendlies. They would play against Iceland and England to prepare for the World Cup.
You were staying in the same hotel as the team and at dinner time you eventually met some of them. Sitting alone, Laura approached you.
“Hey, ich bin Laura, ich glaube, ich habe dich schon einmal gesehen.” (Hey, i’m Laura, i think i’ve seen you before.) she introduces herself. “Ich bin y/n, but uhh i don’t speak that much German. I’m the new media manager.” you say awkwardly. Why are you like this all of a sudden. “Oh sorry, i didn’t know but you’ve got an accent. Where are you from?” Laura asks you.
You tell her about your little journey, working for Ajax and photographing. Laura sits down at your empty table and you fall into a nice conversation. She apparently remembered you from a game she played against Ajax a few months ago.
Laura was telling you about her love for photography when a certain midfielder came crashing the conversation. “Laura, warum hast du mir diese Schönheit nicht vorgestellt?” (Laura why didn’t you introduce me to this beauty?) the girl said. Laura rolled her eyes at her, “Syd this is y/n, our new media manager and sports photographer, y/n this is Sydney my idiot girlfriend.” Laura explained.
You didn’t even know the girl but to say you were disappointed that she was taken was an understatement. You really clicked and thought that she was even flirting a little bit with you but you were just imagining things apparently.
Syd sat down on the chair on the other side of you and began to ask you things too. But she had other questions in mind. “So, do you have a girlfriend.. or boyfriend?” the midfielder asked you shamelessly. “Uh no, i don’t have a girlfriend at the moment.” you said with a red face trying to look anywhere but at the couple. The two German girls smirked to eachother and continued to pester you with questions.
The next day Laura and Sydney wanted to take you out for the day since they had the afternoon and evening off. Laura had promised you some beautiful views and good food so you couldn’t resist a night out with the two girls.
You dressed up and had done your makeup and hair. The two girls knocked on your door and when you opened it you saw both of the girls looking you up and down. Sydney licked her lips and greeted you, “Du siehst echt gut aus” (You look really good) and Laura did the same, “Du siehst so schön aus.” (You look very pretty).
They walked you to the black BMW they had rented and Sydney opened the car door for you. Laura sat in the drivers seat and Sydney in the passenger’s. Sydney connected her phone and r&b played on the background of your lighthearted conversation. At some point in the conversation they stopped talking English and switched to German.
“Sie sieht gut aus.” (She looks good) Laura said looking in her little mirror. Syd hummed, “Sie ist sehr schön. Glaubst du, sie mag uns?” (She’s very pretty. Do you think she likes us?). You were looking out of the window, listening to Frank Ocean when you heard Laura speak English again. “I think so, i guess we’ll have to find out.” and with that she parked the car and opened your door.
They took you to a very nice restaurant, the vibe was good and the food and company was even better. They kept flirting with you and now it wasn’t just Laura when she was alone with you, they both were and they both seemed to be okay with it too.
“What got you into sports photography?” Sydney asked you. “Well, i wanted to capture the moments and you know, the women.” you laughed, your face heating up. The couple laughed at your answer and Laura spoke again, “I get it, i’m surprised none of my teammates made a move on you yet, you’re a pretty girl.”. You were surprised but flattered by her words. “Oh thank you, the both of you look really good too.” you complimented them.
“Sie ist niedlich.” (She’s cute) Laura said to her girlfriend. The brunette gave her teammate a smile and looked at you again. “Yeah, you think so, liebling?” Sydney asked you, trying to get more out of you. “Yeah- well i mean you know, you’re both really attractive and sweet and stuff.” you rambled and they let you. Both of the girls giggled at your rambling, finding it quite cute how you got flustered so easily.
The night ended after some more teasing and a nice dessert. They walked you to your door and told you that they enjoyed their evening with you and how they’d love to do something like this again sometime. Sydney kissed you goodnight on your forehead while Laura kissed you on the corner of your lips. You wondered of she did that on purpose or if she did it by mistake.
laurafreigang posted on their story
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y/n_y/l/n
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liked by victoriapelova and 78.628 others
portugal📍, italy you’re next.
comments
viviannemiedema 😍😍
stanwaygeorgia got that portugal glow
sydneylohmann looking good 👀
laurafreigang touring with a good view
l0hmannbayernn wait but syd and laura were at that same restaurant too
↳ germany_w0men they’re probably friends i think since y/n works for the national team
You traveled to Italy with the team and arrived in the evening. When you stepped out of the travel bus Sydney approached you. “We’re going to the beach with the team, do you want to join us?” she asked you calmly. You accepted her offer and walked to the beach together.
Syd told you about the time she went to Rome with Laura and how they got lost and nobody understood them because of their German accent. It was so funny that your stomach hurt from all the laughing. “Syd! Stop, my stomach!” you giggled. “Okay, okay i’ll stop.” Sydney hugged you from behind, her hands on your stomach. “Better now?” she asked you, you could feel her little smirk. “Yeah, all better.” you hummed leaning into her.
Sydney took your hand in hers and with your fingers intertwined you arrived at the beach. Apparently there were boats for rent and you couldn’t resist, floating on the water at sunset, that’s a dream. Laura saw the two of you get on the boat and joined, not wanting to miss out on more quality time.
The three of you sat at the front of the boat, looking at the sun disappearing into the sea. “I’ve had my eye on you for a little while now.” Laura suddenly says. You’re a bit shocked and your first reaction is to look in the direction of her girlfriend who laughs at your motion. “We’ve had our eye on you.” Syd corrects her girlfriend. Now you’re even more lost.
Not knowing where to look you look into the distance. “What do you mean?” you ask just above a whisper. “We both like you, romantically.” Laura says for the both of them. You look up and Laura is staring at you expecting some kind of reaction. You look at Syd and she nods assuringly.
Laura took your face into her hands and leaned in for a kiss. Your lips met hers. You’ve wanted this for longer than you’d like to admit. Your kiss with Laura was hungry but sweet. When you disconnected your lips Sydney saw that as her chance. The kiss with the midfielder was a little more rough and longer.
Laura saw the state of you and couldn’t help but smirk at your swollen lips and messy hair. “I’ll take that as a ‘i like you too’.” Sydney said giggling and pulling a strand of hair behind your ear. Your cheeks reddened and you nodded furiously. The girlfriends laughed at that and Laura kissed you on your red cheek.
laurafreigang posted on their story
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The next few days you photographed the girls at training, made content, went on little outings with the team and you even got to steal a few kisses here and there. Sydney and Laura were absolutely wonderful and amazing models, both of them are pretty, beautiful, sexy, everything honestly. You liked taking pictures of them, especially when they weren’t looking or after a game they’d won. But all three of you knew that after this camp you’d probably see eachother again at the preparations for the World Cup and that was weeks away.
sydneylohmann
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liked by lynnwilms_ and 103.728 others
got the best photographers out there 🎞️
comments
y/n_y/l/n i got the best models out there
stanwaygeorgia tatted girl 👀
laurafreigang du bist sehr cool lohmann✌️✌️
jule_brand 😍😍
wos011 why did y/n comment??
↳ arsenalw21p they’re sooo dating
laurafreigang
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liked by jule_brand and 118.620 others
best days away
comments
lena_oberdorf looking good
y/n_y/l/n mooi meisje 😍
sydneylohmann got the coolest gf
↳ gerwntfann wait they’re dating???
sophie.kleinherne 😍😍
giuliagwinn laura freigang things
chels3akerrr why did y/n comment?
You were going from club to club in the break since you still needed to get some work done. Syd and Laura texted and called you a few times and they had a few dates planned between the camps. It was nice, they were absolutely perfect. You loved them.
The time flew by and the team had to get ready for the World Cup. You knew how much this meant to all of the girls. For some it was their first and for others just another. There was so much pressure on them, their nation was a winning one and everyone knew it, you could feel it. Germany was in it to win.
The team ended on top of their group and won all the other games in the knockouts. Fighting for every goal they got into the final. The final against England, the nation they lost the Euros title to. They wanted payback.
When you arrived at the stadium it felt like a dream. The atmosphere in the stadium was magic, nothing like you’ve ever seen before. Fans from all over the world eager to watch the rematch of the Euros final. As the match continued, it became clear that it would be a battle till the very end.
With the score tied at 1-1, it got hard to watch the game. The seconds were flying by, and both teams were pushing themselves to their absolute limit. Lohmann, your midfield maestro, got past Keira Walsh and Georgia Stanway. Spotting an opening, she passed a perfectly calculated ball to Freigang, your quick forward.
Laura, known for her fast pace and clinical finishing, sprinted towards the goal. Millie Bright tried to tackle Freigang but just couldn’t get to her. With adrenaline running through her, she released her shot in the top bins. The stadium erupted as Germany took the lead in the dying minutes of the game.
Sydney flew into Laura’s arms, but Laura was searching for you. She knew you were there, capturing every moment through your lens. With one of her cocky smirks, she made her way towards you, with the high of scoring such and important goal she leaned in, planting a kiss on the camera lens. Her eyes meeting yours as she playfully winks at the camera.
The game didn’t last much longer. The extra time was over and the German girls ran towards eachother while the English girls sunk to the ground.
Your two footballers hugged eachother and you captured the moment. Nothing could top this moment you thought, atleast not for now.
The girls came running towards you and included you in their hug. “Saw what i did there?” Laura whispered in your ear. You laughed, “Yeah, couldn’t really miss it eh?”. The goalscorer poked you in your side and Sydney laughed at the two of you.
Things went really fast from that moment on, Syd and Laura asked you to be their girlfriend and you said yes ofcourse. You signed a contract with Bayern for when you weren’t working for the National team. That made it possible for you to see Syd almost everyday. As promised you had a date night atleast once a week with your girlfriends and Laura announced her signing. Both of your girlfriends were playing for Bayern and you couldn’t be happier.
It had all gone fast. You fell fast, you got close fast and you started dating fast. But in your eyes it felt like you’ve always known. You loved them and wouldn’t trade this for the world.
y/n_y/l/n
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liked by daniellevddonk and 103.613 others
meine schätze
comments
laurafreigang finally learned some german
↳ y/n_y/l/n just for the both of you
jillroord you’re supposed to root for us not Germany 🙄
sydneylohmann you’re our WAG 😍
↳ y/n_y/l/n honoured to be your WAG 😘
wosogirll HARDLAUNCHH
lovef00tball i knew it!!
sydneylohmann
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liked by jillroord and 271.624 others
thank you Australia and New Zealand ❤️
comments
y/n_y/l/n mijn lieveheersbeestje 🐞❤️
↳ sydneylohmann you were scared of it so i don’t take it as a compliment
jillroord loohhmaaannn ❤️
sam_kerr_ winnerrrr 🥇
laurafreigang we’re so sexy
↳ y/n_y/l/n you are xx
↳ sydneylohmann thank you baby
laurafreigang
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liked by alex.popp11 and 212.427 others
australia with my mäuschen
comments
sydneylohmann you’re a rat
↳ laurafreigang awww you’re so sweet 😍
y/n_y/l/n you’ve charmed your way into my life
↳ laurafreigang it was the photographer rizz i think
↳ sydneylohmann no definitely the football rizz
sam_kerr_ freigang touring the world with her sidekicks
↳ sydneylohmann i’m not a sidekick!!
A/N the ending is a bit abrupt so there’s a chance that i’ll make a second part?? Thanks to @totaly-obsessed i think i’ve done pretty well with the german nicknames and sentences.
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homeheroine · 7 months
Text
ROTTMNT Donnie x Reader | First Kiss Blurb |
Author's note : I have been ICHING to write for so long but I just haven't been inspired recently. If you have idea or request pleaseee request. If you do don't forget to read my rules because they have been updated! Thanks!!
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What a cold night it was in the lab. This temperature was typical of early October in NY. The cold weather made the lair quieter since it eased the cold blooded inhabitants into a sleep much sooner. Donnie though, was attempting to fight the sleepiness that was taking over. Not only was he usually sleepy because of his unhealthy sleeping habits but the cold temp was taking a real toll on him. His eyelids were heavy and the scribbles of equations on his paper were being to look more like a jumbled mess. Donnie furrowed his brow, turning his head to look at the time.
8:47 p.m.
He squinted at digital clock that hung on the wall diagonal to his desk. It was basically only 9 and he was about to fall asleep on his equations! His eyes lowered down to you, seated in the purple arm chair that sat directly below the glowing clock. Your face was illuminated in the dark lab by the blue glow of your phone screen. A sneeze racked through you and into the quiet room.
Donnie grimaced at this. It was cold for you too. You should go home. He thinks. Groaning he pushes himself away from his desk and stretches his aching back.
He hears your soft steps get louder as you approach. He peaks open an eye staring at you through his stretching.
"You look terrible." You joke leaning against his desk. You weren't wrong, his eye bags were dark and his voice was horse from lack of use.
Releasing a sigh he turns to you. Giving you a cold look, signaling he is not in the mood to joke. "The lair's temperature is rapidly dropping due to the time of year and the late hour. You should see yourself home." His voice robotic as he leaded over to look as his inchoarent work. He heard you sigh, disappointed, it sounded. He hated disappointing you. He felt he did it often, it was just so much easier to push you away then to try to fight himself for your... approval? Your friendship? His brow furrowed even deeper this time. But not because of the mess of equations that laid before him. Why did he even want those things from you?
Your voice calls his attention away, "Well since you want me gone so bad, I'll get going now." You laugh softly, in a joking manner, he guesses, he hopes. "Goodnight Don." You breath, turning to leave.
Donnie's heart chokes at your sad sounding goodbye. He wishes he could say something, anything to make you stay, but he just doesn't have the words.
Without thinking he reaches out for your departing hand. Catching it gently. You look back surprised. You knew Donnie wasn't one for touch, always allowing Donnie to initiate whenever he felt comfortable. Soft pats on the back, fist bumps and even a gentle side hugs as a greeting and goodbye. All of those felt like a social obligation, a "have to" in order to make the others feel seen. That's what you thought Donnie felt when he made those physical interactions. This contact though was different. There was no room for the eyes of others, no social rule needing to be filled. It was just the two of you. And the way his thumb softly rubbed against your hand sent a message that you'd never gotten from him before.
Donnie cleared his throat, a tactile stall he convinced himself. Not that he was nervous...... he was nervous.... he had no plan! Why did he do this! He had nothing to say to you, nothing but pure instinct pushed him here.
"uhhh." He blushed, looking up at you finally. You stared back, curiosity dancing in your eyes. What was he up to?
He didn't even know.
He straightened up hoping his height advantage would give him some confidence, some leverage over how your eyes seemed to swallow him up. "I-- you- you confuse me. Y/N." He tried to make more sense of what he was trying to say, "You make my actions an anomaly. I can't ever predict what I will do around you... you make me- you make me stupid."
You made a face, "I was just leaving you know." Catching your expression he quickly tagged on, "No no I didn't mean it in a bad way- I- I don't think. I just-" He looked into your eyes again, asking? Pleading? Pleading. Pleading for you to understand what he was leaving unsaid.
"Don, I don't understand..... Is this your way of telling me you- you don't want me around anymore?" Your tone was sad, trickling on the edge of tears. You moved your hand out of his.
Donnie's heart sank. No no no! He couldn't bare to see you sad and the fact that he was the one who did this to you shredded his heart. You were his partner, his confidant his best friend.... his crush. The gears in his mind finally snapped into rotation. Like a lightbulb going off, he finally understood why the room suddenly got hot whenever you entered. Why he felt he couldnt speak a word to you without tripping up. Why, no matter how hard he tried to cool the heat that spread on his face when you completemented his work just wouldnt go away. He finally understood. He was in love with you.
He didn't have any hypothesis going into this and he sure as hell couldn't predict what he would do next. Grabbing both of your hands suddenly he pressed his lips to yours.
Your eyes shot open peering at his tightly closed ones. You kissed back, letting him lead as usual when it came to physical contact.
The kiss was soft, even though he initially came in very quick. His lips were soft, if not a little chapped from his nervous biting. He let out a soft noise as you kissed back and placed your hands on his shoulders. He had no plan, you could tell by the way he nervously fidgided with your hands.
Donnie was a mess, his mind racing with what he had just done. Strategies of how to explain himself flying through his mind. Fear crawling onto his back. He almost pulled away until he felt you kiss back. Your hands landing on his shoulders cleared his racing mind, acting as a ground for him. He couldn't help but let out a soft noise at your unknown kindness. You always knew how to make him feel like million bucks, even now with his less than perfect confession.
Your silent reciprocation gave him enough confidence to shakily place his hands on your waist, squeezing your sides gently. Leaning into the kiss more you both sighed, as you silently encouraged him to continue.
The kisses grew quicker and more hasty as Donnie soon realized how much he needed this. How much he needed you.
All this time he wasn't able to understand his feelings, why you made him feel so "strange", he understood now. He pressed into you more making you lean against the desk behind you again. One of his hands moved from your waist to your face. Turning you so he could deepen the kiss. You smiled under his lips as you realized he was enjoying this. Feeling your soft smile melted him, all he wanted was to do good by you. And this smile was for him. This smile was because of him. He felt like putty.
He pulled away, only for you to chase after him whining about the sudden end.
Donnie's fingertips came to his lips, feeling the imprint of your kisses left behind. He such his eyes, the feeling over taking him. This was more than he thought he would ever get with you. He was so content with the approval you had given him before, but now he craved it. He craved you.
"Don?" You piped up breaking the silence, "Are you- was- was that ok?"
Donnie opened his eyes. Staring back into yours he replied, "Can we- can we do that again?"
Foot note : i love writing pre confession/pre relationship fics, they are literally my favs. Lemme know if you guys would like leo or raph or mikey!
taglist : @xnorthstar3x @leafyturtle
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thekrakenlolz · 2 months
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Start up Fic - Ellie Williams x Reader
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part 2
Summary: You switch dorms at your boarding school after you and your girlfriend go through a messy break up and you no longer can handle being roommates with her. Only your new one is a different kind of problem
a/n: I wrote the first chapter only to realize I have no idea what comes next. So here's my plan: if y'all like the set up, you can give me suggestions for what you want to happen next. I basically just laid down the base. So you can read it if you want and see if you have any ideas. But just as a warning, I'm not gonna write smut without a plot, I'm not about that life. I have a vague idea of what I can put next but it's very cliche and overdone sooooo yeah, thanx in advance<3
Also, English is my third language so expect bad grammar
°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-°_*-
Your eyes wandered over the walls as you walked along them. The paint was starting to flake off, revealing the concrete underneath. Your school was old. Like old, old. Like Victorian ages old. Something most of your friends scoffed over, but you personally liked. You thought it gave it character. Of course a little bit of a touch up wouldn't hurt, but bathroom doors that are actually still attached to the stall hinges were overrated anyways.
You were following Miss Jenkins, your housemother, hunched over as you were balancing three of your bags on your back. Uncomfortable, yes, but you were trying to minimize the amount of trips you had to make to move all your shit over to your new dorm. Anything to avoid seeing Samira more than absolutely fucking necessary.
"Here we are" Miss Jenkins sighed, stopping in front of one of the gray doors. It took everything in you not to roll your eyes. You were still pissed that you had to put in 4 requests over the duration of 2 months before they finally assigned you a new room, but now she was acting like she was doing you a huge favor. Like taking 15 minutes out of her day was so much to ask for. But you kept it down, thanking her again before opening the door and stepping in.
The lengthy process of actually getting a new room gave you plenty of time to stress over who your new roommate would be. This girl, however, didn't even come to mind. You weren't even sure what her name was, your social circle and her's didn't interact much. E-something? Or was it L?
Mystery girl was sitting at her desk, headphones in, and carefully shading out something in her notebook. You noticed she had tucked her left leg under her, a bad habit you also possessed. She didn't register your presence, her eyes still fixed on the paper. You threw your bags next to your bed, which finally caught her attention. "Oh fuck" she jumped up from the desk and hurried over to your bed, picking up the stuff she dumped on it. "Hello to you too" you mused.
Sweatshirts, textbooks and pencils started flying over onto her bed. "I'm sorry, I thought I had until Sunday to get my shit off your side" She explained, tossing a hairbrush across the small room. You watched it hit the wall and fall down onto her Zelda themed sheets. Cute, you noted. "No worries, take your time, I still have stuff to move over"
So you were back in the hallway, slowly but surely making your way back to your old dorm and with that, to Samira. Now that you were by yourself, you took the time to think about your new roommate. You still didn't know her name but one thing was for certain: she was incredible looking.
Her thick straight auburn hair cut off above the shoulders and her cheeks were densely dotted with freckles. She was very toned, especially in the arms. She was probably in the lacrosse team.
You did notice she was more on the masculine side, so might maybe even be gay. You full stopped, forcing yourself to remember, that's exactly the type of shit that got you in your current situation in the first place. No fucking your roommate, dude, we talked about this.
--------
You took a moment to collect yourself before entering your old room. You drew a breath in, scanning the ugly grey door that separated you and her. 12B the lettering read, touched up with some sharpie. You reached for the knob.
She was sitting at her desk, scrolling on her phone and demonstratively ignoring your presence. You bit down on the inside of her cheek. This wasn't what you expected. Somehow you preferred another stupid fight over this new silence.
You stacked two backpacks on one arm and three bags on the other. The weight made your walk out rather inelegant. You stopped in the doorway. "Goodbye Sami."
You could practically feel her hesitate.
"Bye."
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solar-wing · 9 months
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⚣ Sassy Man Jason 👏🏻
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⚣👏🏻 A/N → This is not a repost, this is a new original. Once again, another idea that came to me while I was in the middle of writing out one of my Conner fics and finishing my revisions to the third installment of Primal. I saw this on TikTok about the sassy men apocalypse and the first thing that came to mind was our favorite needy soft boi anti-hero.
⚣👏🏻 Summary → You didn't know why, but Jason had been giving you an attitude all day. Rolling his eyes, giving, you stank looks, and treating you like a cold piece of pie. What did you even do? And when did he get this freaking sassy?
⚣👏🏻 Words → 1.7k
REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛
⚣ ENJOY 👏🏻
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“Jason, what is wrong with you?”
For what reason you couldn’t figure out, your boyfriend Jason Todd had an attitude since he walked through your apartment door. All day you kept receiving side-eyes, stank looks, and silent treatments anytime you tried to talk to or touch him.
Which, for your boyfriend, meant something had to seriously be wrong.
Even if he was weary of physical contact, he always sought out your comforting touch no matter what. Outside of his family (who were basically only one step above random strangers), you were the only one Jason allowed free reign to hug, hold, caress, and more.
Of course, he also preferred you being the same way and not allowing other people to touch you except for him, but that was a different story for another day.
But, today seemed to be different as Jason was almost treating you like his brothers. Not in the exact same way as he didn’t want to be bothered with you or avoided you. Moreso like he’d snuff your appearance or roll his eyes when you said something.
You were both currently on your bed in your room snuggled under one of your many blankets. You had a show you and Jason were currently binging on while snacking on some popcorn.
Usually, whenever you two would sit down to watch TV, read, play games, or even just enjoy each other’s presence, he’d pull you into his large embrace, secretly enjoying how you warmed his body up. And the stronger man would keep that hold on you the entire time, even if you tried to get up to go to the bathroom or grab some more food.
None of that happened. Jason sat his entire body on the other side of your queen-sized mattress, with the blanket wrapped around him.
It was actually a little funny seeing his large body laid down on your bed, as he had to make sure he didn’t tip himself over too far with his body weight and fall off the edge.
He even kept snatching the blanket from you every time you tried to snuggle under a little more. You had to buy all bigger-sized blankets to be able to cover both you and him since the ones you had before definitely were not up to the job. They sometimes barely managed to cover you.
So, imagine your annoyance when every time you move to adjust the blanket, it got snatched out of your hand. And the culprit behind it was lying next to you while giving you the world’s worst stank-eye like you did something to him before tucking more of the soft material under his neck, looking like a furry soft plushy with only his head sticking out the opening.
When you tried to get him to give you some of the blanket, he turned away from you, while still giving you more side-eye. That’s when you had asked what was wrong with you, while he just looked back at you, before turning his head back around and opening up his phone if the sound of him opening social media was any indicator.
It was official, your boyfriend was acting like the world’s biggest freaking toddler. And you still had no idea what brought on this treatment.
You looked over at the man, his blanket-covered broad back greeting you in return. Scooching over, you tried to hug him from behind, thinking maybe that would help but he only shook your body off before scooting himself closer to the edge.
“Are you kidding me?” You asked the vigilante, who only continued to ignore you while scrolling on his phone.
Now, it was your turn to roll your eyes as you basically sat in the middle of the bed with a boyfriend who apparently wanted nothing to do with you.
“Why are you acting mad at me? What did I do?” You continue to ask, starting to feel upset at how he was treating you.
When you were still met with silence, you huffed out a breath before going to move off the bed, “Whatever bro,” You muttered before grabbing your phone and stomping out to your living room.
Plopping yourself down on the couch, you unlocked your phone and opened your Messages app, deciding if your boyfriend wouldn’t tell you what was wrong, maybe someone else could help give you an idea.
The sounds of tapping on your phone filled the quiet space outside of the muffle from your TV in the bedroom as you typed a message to Dick, figuring he could help you figure out why Jason was so upset with you.
You: hey Dick?
Dick: hey Y/N! What’s up?
You: did something happen last night? is everything okay?
Dick: um no, at least not that I know of. Why, what’s wrong?
You: idk. Jason has just been acting weird all day since he got to my place. he barely looks at me without rolling his eyes, he won’t let me touch him or even near him for that matter, and he keeps giving me this childish attitude whenever I try to talk to him.
Dick: lol
You: lol?! why are you loling me? you think this is funny?!
Dick: quite actually. I think I know what’s wrong though. Last night when we were out on patrol, Jason was acting the same way. Apparently, he kept trying to call you since according to him, he’d rather listen to your snoring than our annoying voices over the comms but you weren’t answering.
You: OMG I was studying for a final and I told him I was leaving my phone on Do Not Disturb so I could concentrate.
Dick: you didn’t put him as an exception?
You: … you can do that?
Dick: yes. you can. how did you not know that?
You: IDK! shut up!
Dick: lol
While you were typing out another response to the annoying Nightwing vigilante, you heard the sounds of heavy footsteps making their way from your bedroom to the living room.
You looked up to see your mammoth-sized boyfriend still wrapped in your blanket to where you could only see his face and hair sticking out from the top and his feet poking from under. The stank look on his face was still there even as he walked forward to stand in front of you.
There was a creeping urge to laugh that you tried to resist while staring at your big, scary, and sometimes morally questionable vigilante boyfriend wrapped in a large fluffy red and white blanket with his bed-head curls lying over his forehead while staring at you like an angry child who was told no to getting a cookie from the jar before dinner.
“Are you finally ready to talk to me?”
He didn’t say anything before he just leaned down, opening the blanket so he could pick you up in his arms before walking back to your room and jumping on the bed with his body on top of you. Your breath had been knocked out of you from your impact on the mattress along with Jason’s heavy weight on top of you.
“Ugh, seriously Jay. You’ve got too much muscle on you to be jumping on top of me like that.” You groaned.
You heard an indignant huff from him as he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, “Are you calling me fat?” He finally spoke with his gruff voice.
It was once again your turn to roll your eyes, “Oh, don’t you start with me,” You replied before using your fingers to flick his forehead, his eyes narrowing at you in response.
“Are you seriously mad at me because I didn’t answer your calls last night? I told you I was studying for a final.” You said while now using the same hand to rub your hand through his hair.
“Why is my number not on the exception list on your Do Not Disturb in your phone?” He countered, completely ignoring your question.
“Oh my god, I didn’t even know you could do that. My parents aren’t even on that list.”
“Ok, and?” He said, shaking his head at you like that was supposed to mean something.
“When did you get so freaking sassy?”
“Give me your phone,” Jason ordered, not even waiting for you to move before he grabbed your phone out of your other hand. It was hard for you to move with his body still on top of you, plus his weight and body heat added with the warmth from the blanket tired you faster the more you wiggle around.
He placed the phone in front of your face to unlock it before going to your settings, “Why were you texting Dickface?” He asked.
“Because you wouldn’t tell me what was wrong with you so I asked him.” He just let out a gruff hum before opening the Do Not Disturb section in your settings, going to the panel you’d never seen before where you could add contacts in the phone’s feature so they could still call you or text you without being sent to voicemail or silence.
You watched as Jason added his contact in there, before also adding your parents.
“Seriously, you added my dads?”
“Yep. It’ll score me more brownie points at the next family dinner at your place.” He said with a sneaky smile, before putting your phone down and placing his chin on your chest to stare at you.
“Are you happy now?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Not yet. Promise me you’ll always answer my calls and texts. I don’t care if you’re studying, in the shower, or sleeping. It helps me feel better knowing you’re okay.” Jason said, holding his pinky out for a promise.
“Who died and made you boss?” You joked before yelping out in pain when Jason pinched the side of your butt.
“Ow! Fine, I promise.” You agreed, closing your pinky around his to which he smiled before patting the stinging area of your skin he just pinched.
“Good boy.”
“Alright. Are you done having an attitude now?” You inquired, wanting to go back to cuddling and watching your show.
“Almost. Gimme food and I’ll think about it.” He ordered, before laying his head down on your chest.
Your lips pulled up into an annoyed, but playful smile as you grabbed your phone to call your and Jason’s favorite pizza place, “When did you get so freaking sassy?”
“Always have been, babe.”
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☀️ | Jason Todd/Red Hood | ☀️
☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️
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koolades-world · 3 months
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Can you do Obey Me headcanons of a Christian MC? MC isn't a toxic one though, they're actually super nice and supportive of everyone and such. They're also generally really trusting and try and see the best in people. They're more or less just extremely concerned and slightly uncomfortable with the entire being kidnapped and brought to hell thing(and also being forced to attend school again)
They also got really excited when they learned angels were gonna be attending RAD too, so there's that lol
Like when they saw Simeon and Luke for the first time they mentally went "THIS IS A MOMENT IN HISTORY!!!! TAKE A PICTURE!!!"
haha hi!!
when I first saw this I was really looking forward to doing it! been thinking about it a lot
one of my best friends is actually a christian who plays obey me, and she was the one to introduce me to the game. I think she would find this funny, so I'll def be thinking of her while I write this haha (if you're reading this, which you very much might be, heyyyy happy late bday girl)
Christian Mc
Lucifer
once you realize who he is, you're freaked out, both in a good and bad way
like, this is the lucifer! you ask to take a picture lol (and he's not amused)
you're a little sad and relieved when he pawns you off to mammon, since you're awed by his presence but also terrified since you knew the part he played in the bible by heart
once you get to know him, the both of you chuckle about human depictions of him and you finally get that picture! be sure to make him sign it and then frame it
Mammon
learns quickly just how many copies of the bible you own once he spends enough time in your room including but not limited to the version on your phone, the mini version in your RAD bag, and the one you keep on your side table
once you get to the stage of basically living together, he learns that you read the bible and say a prayer nightly
at first, he was nervous having to be the one to guide you but he learnt you were probably more scared of him, and you were actually just so sweet
he jokingly picks up all of the jesus merch he finds so now you have an entire shelf
Levi
the most normal out of the brothers besides the fact that he spends all his time in his room, but that kind of reminds you of a brother you only see like once a day
it's almost scary and a little jarring walking into his room, but after that, you guys get along so well
he admits that he thought the exchange program was weird, and it was all history after that
unlikely besties: a devout christan human and their gamer social outcast demon
Satan
highkey fuming about the fact that humans don't know that he and lucifer are different (he for sure smashed up an entire room of the house)
after he calms down from this though, although it takes a while for the two of you to get to know each other, he takes joy in making fun of the slanderous things said about lucifer
you both like to read but the only thing you reread and read nightly is the bible so
luckily he doesn't care about that since it wasn't his dad anyways (don't remind him that it's technically his grandpa's book)
Asmo
the first time you showed him biblical version of him, he was disgusted and refused to speak to you for the next two and half days
after that he feels a little bad since he knows you didn't mean it like that and since you basically tip toe around him
after that he comes on a little strong, but after a while you get along pretty well despite being so different
he’ll reminisce while you listen carefully and hold onto every work he says since he was a real angel and that’s so cool
Beel
while you were initially terrified of him, you quickly learnt how much like he actually was
at the core, you were both just a kind person (or demon) who wanted to help others and uplift them
always there for you to lend a listening ear and to help out out if others are giving you problems
the first in the devildom to make you feel truest welcome and let you know that you could call it home
Belphie
at first he thinks it’s a joke and kinda pokes fun at it
once he realizes you’re being serious, he feels a little bad but also still thinks is very funny how you hide your face behind a bible when you’re scare
has had holy water thrown at him, and has found a bible under his pillow before (gosh who could’ve done that…)
used to jump out at your from around corners in his demon form and it sent your running every time so you can prepared with a rosary blessed by the pope to shove in his face if he dare to try again
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aceing-on-the-cake · 2 months
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Compulsory Heterosexuality Info Dump
So because a friend of mine didn't know what comp het was and their internet history is monitored by their parents so they can't just use google, I'm doing a very quick research dive and giving you guys the results in case there are others out there who are in the same situation. I'll also be tagging blogs bigger than me because again, there might be fellow queers out their who are in the same boat as my friend and I want them to have access to this information.
So what is compulsory heterosexuality (or comp het)?
Comp het is in essence the societal belief and enforcement of being straight.
What does this mean?
In basic form it means that the only options presented to everyone, from the moment of birth, is that of a cis, amatonormative, heterosexual lifestyle.
You are given two gender options, these gender options determine the two roles you're allowed to fulfill, husband and wife, and you are told that these two roles are what will make you happy and are what you are supposed to strive for.
Meaning society, if you are born AFAB, tells you you're going to one day get married, it's going to be a boy, and this is what will make you happy. Almost everything in life is then seen through this lens. How attractive your are, how you are supposed to talk, how you're supposed to behave, etc is all considered through the lens of if a man will be attracted to you.
On the flip side, if you are born AMAB society tells you there are roles you have to fulfill as well. You are told you will one day want a wife, that you have to be able to have a job to provide for her, that you have to behave in a certain emotional way to be strong for her, that if the things you like are too feminine well then you're gay or a girl which is a problem because at the end of the day you're supposed to want the girl-fiance-wife.
This literally just sounds like the patriarchy.
Yes, it does, because it's caused by it. Nowadays people commonly know about compulsory heterosexuality from the Lesbian Masterdoc, but the term actually originated by Adrienne Rich in 1980.
Adrienne Rich in her article Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence put forward three ideas, 1) that heterosexuality and lesbianism were institutions themselves/possible political ideologies, 2) that heterosexuality as a system if not constantly maintained and upheld would eventually crumble and 3) that heterosexuality as a system could be opted out of and actively fought against whether or not you were actually attracted to women/non-women.
This is very different from the way we currently think of and define those terms, I am aware of that, but her point does still stand to some degrees that comp het, cisnormativity and amatonormativity all crumble when we stop rigidly enforcing the structures that uphold them, i.e., the patriarchy, misogyny, classism, and racism.
Ok but like what does that actually look like?
It can look like a lot of things, for a lot of different people. In the Lesbian Masterdoc you see comp het presented from a straightforward lesbian lens (of a 19 year old figuring out and defining their own sexuality guys, I'm not gonna sit here and critique it and rip it to death, go do that somewhere else).
This is therefore presented through things like women/non-women who were raised/socialized as women possibly having crushes on men, but they're always unattainable in some way (celebrities, fictional, someone real but they wouldn't actually ever be able to truly be in a relationship with, etc). It might also show up for lesbians as liking the idea of a man but being uncomfortable when one actually wants to move forward in the process. Or even sometimes it might show up as sexual fantasies with men but they're faceless, they're more an idea, or you're actually viewing another woman sleeping with him.
This presentation of comp het has made a lot of bi/pan/mspec people uncomfortable because they feel they too have experiencing comp het and when reading the Lesbian Masterdoc it's presented as if experiencing this is a straight shot towards being a lesbian.
And they're right that comp het isn't experienced by just lesbians. For mspecs who present feminine/as women this could be in the feeling that they have to dress a certain way to be presentable, but presentable is based on appealing to men. This can mean something as simple as women are expected to wear makeup, always, regardless of if they're looking to seek men's attention or not, because that's the base standard.
For mspecs who present masculine this can look like the inability to express themselves in an overly emotional manner because that doesn't make them "strong" and if they're not "strong" then they won't attract women, and that's what they're supposed to be doing.
For mspecs in general that can look like their queer looking relationships to be seen as a phase even if their mspec-ness is respected because of course they're eventually going to get married to a man/woman.
This can affect polyamorous cishet people in that they're seen as doing heterosexuality wrong because you're supposed to have the one partner and the 2.5 kids.
This can affect aspecs because they're told they'll never truly feel fulfilled if they don't have that boyfriend/girlfriend/partner to love them in a way that's so special nothing else could match up.
This affects all of us guys is my point.
How is this helpful to me?
Well for sapphics and lesbians (or sapphics/mspecs confused on if they are actually lesbians) this can be a helpful concept to consider because it can help you determine what relationships you truly want to pursue, which is the main point I feel is to be gained from the Lesbian Masterdoc. As she's put it "it's way more important to ask yourself if you can be truthfully happy with a man than if you’re attracted to them"
So if you're a sapphic who experiences attraction to men but you honestly can't ever see yourself willingly entering into a relationship with them, consider the idea of comp het.
If you're Achillean the opposite of this can be true, if you've been attracted to women before but honestly can't ever see yourself willingly entering into a relationship with them, consider whether comp het is working on you.
For mspecs this can be a helpful term to throw over the table back at your parents when they ask when you're going to get a "real relationship".
This can be a helpful term to consider when asking "am I forcing myself to wear mascara because I feel this is the only way I look presentable or do I actually like mascara."
Or it can be a helpful concept to look back on when undermining our internalized ideals of misogyny, towards ourselves and others.
This is a helpful term to put in our tool boxes to talk about the harm the systems of patriarchy, classism, and racism impose upon us.
Comp het can help us to understand why so many people look down on polyamory as a legitimate way of life.
It can be a helpful term for aspecs who are trying to figure out if they really want to date/have sex, or if they just believe these are the only things that will make you happy.
In general
Compulsory heterosexuality is just another term to describe a system we are all intimately familiar with. But by giving us the words to describe our experiences, it gives us the power to communicate those experiences more effectively, and to possibly understand why we're experiencing them.
This is just a bare basic knowledge post.
Honestly if you have the ability to, as in your internet history is not monitored in the way my friend's is, I encourage you to go on the deep dive through the sources listed below. Many of them are honestly only 30 pages long, that's a relatively short read, and understanding queer theory like this not only helps you to understand your own identity, but the ways in which you are connected to the rest of the fellow queer community.
Sources
Lesbian Masterdoc
Queer Theory 101: Compulsory Heterosexuality
Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence
Normativities Defined
Taglist
I'm tagging blogs bigger than me so that this has an easier time getting passed around as I mainly talk about aspec issues because I am aspec, but as stated above, I wanted to make sure that queer people who's internet histories are monitored and are only able to find information through tumblr safely could do so.
@our-queer-experience @our-sapphic-experience @our-lesbian-experience @our-aspec-experience @our-polyamorous-experience @our-pansexual-experience @our-unlabelled-experience @our-aroace-experience @our-mspec-experience @our-questioning-experience @our-bisexual-experience
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blondwhowrites · 2 months
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A/N: This is for all my autistic homies. I fucking love you guys 😘. Btw this is based on how autism shows itself in girls/women. Remember for all my autistic girlies, never ever feel sorry for being yourself ❤️
"Mattheo, I'm autistic." 
Mattheo looked at you, mouth agape. He raised an eyebrow, looking at you quizzically, obviously confused. "What's that?" he questioned, his head tilting slightly to the side. 
You stared at him, unblinking. "You don't know what autism is?" You asked, slowly processing his lack of information. Was wizard society really that far behind? Damn. You sighed, chewing on your lower lip. How was one supposed to explain autism to someone who has probably no idea what disabilities even are? 
"Well, Matty, to sum it up, I don't work like other people do," you tried to explain while sitting down next to him. "My mind works differently than yours and other people's." 
He watched you curiously, taking in your words and trying to make sense of them in his mind. "Is that supposed to scare me away because, darling, it isn't working? You're not getting rid of me." 
You laughed, shaking your head. "I mean, it might scare some people away, but no, that's not why I'm telling you this," you replied, your heart swelling with happiness at seeing his positive reaction. "I'm telling you this because I want you to know that being in a relationship with me will be different from other relationships you have been in before." 
Mattheo nodded, his foot repeatedly tapping the ground. "Well, I'm willing to learn. So lay it all on me, baby," he chuckled, his lips curling up in a smile as he looked at you. He watched as you wrung your hands together, and he reached out, grabbing one of your hands and squeezing it. "Darling, I'm being serious when I say I want to learn." 
Your shoulders went slack, and you let out a deep sigh. The nerves you felt slowly washed away with the assurance of his words. "Well," you began.
"I have a hard time with social cues and reading people. If someone is mad at me or annoyed, I won't be able to tell unless they specifically tell me that. While some people might be able to take hints, I can't really recognize them. I need you to be straightforward with me about your feelings." Your eyes darted to his, making sure he was listening before you continued.
"I can't handle loud and crowded places that well. They make me overwhelmed and overstimulated, and that can lead me to have a meltdown. Which is when my mind practically shuts down, or at least it feels like it, and I kind of regress during those. I can't speak or do anything, and I tend to hurt myself during those, like hitting myself. I also sometimes hurt others when they try to help me through my meltdowns. I don't mean to; I just can't really control what I do in those moments. Sometimes even the slightest of things can cause me to melt down or panic. If a change of plans happens, I can sometimes have extreme reactions to it that can derail my entire day. I'm not very good with change. I stim a lot, and sometimes it can look weird. Like, whenever I'm excited, you know how I jump up and down and flail my hands? That's me stimming. Repetitive motions, stuff like that. I also have a weird relationship with touch and intimacy. It depends on the person; for example, I feel comfortable touching you, but with Blaise, I don't. It changes a lot."
Mattheo listened intently to your words, nodding along and trying to make a mental checklist. All of this was important to you, and that meant it was important to him too. He didn't care how long this conversation would take, he was willing to hear everything you had about this.
"I go non-verbal sometimes, and I can't speak or talk for hours up to days. I literally can't talk, even if I want to. That usually happens after meltdowns or when I'm feeling really intense emotions. I have sensory issues and can't wear some clothes because of how they feel on my body. My relationship with food is basically non-existent. I can't eat some things because of how it feels, and sometimes I go selective eating, and it's really hard to eat anything else besides my safe foods. I also just sometimes forget to eat because I don't really process that I feel hungry unless I'm starving. I mask my autism a lot, hence why people sometimes think I'm lying when I tell them I'm autistic. I tend to copy other people unconsciously. That's why you see me and Pansy having a lot of the same little habits. "
You finished, your voice faltering as you looked at him nervously, trying to gauge his reaction. "There's a lot of other things, but that's like a pretty surface-level breakdown of it." You added, looking away from him and at the ground. "Oh, and also, if you see me not looking at you during conversations, it's not because I'm not listening; it's because I'm just not good with eye contact."
It was a lot of new information for Mattheo. He'd never considered the fact that people could, how did you say it, work differently? He'd have to ask you more about it during a later conversation. "I can work with that," he shrugged. 
Your lips curled up into a smile, and your eyes slowly lit up. "Really?" you asked, genuinely worried that he was just playing with you. 
"Well, I mean, obviously, I have a lot to learn still, and I'm probably going to make a lot of mistakes."
"Everyone makes mistakes," you interrupted him. 
He shushed you, playfully pressing his finger to your lips to stop you from talking. "What I'm trying to say is that your being autistic changes nothing to me. It's who you are, and I love who you are. I promise you, I'm going to try my hardest." 
You felt tears prick your eyes, and you nodded. "You have no idea how much that means to me, Matty," you sniffled, and you squeezed his hand. 
"Like I said before, darling, you're not ever getting rid of me."
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darnell-la · 7 months
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Toxic Kooks get what they want.
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word count: 2.1k
paring: dark!Rafe Cameron x Reader x dark!Topper
warning: cnc, dark content, rough face fucking, public cnc, hair pulling, gagging, humiliation, etc.
note: If you do not like anything that involves SA/CNC, do not continue, and do not think differently about the stories you like that we post. We have different authors on this page. We apologize if this is disappointing.
This is a mini-series as well so like, comment, and repost if you guys would like a part two!!!!!!
I DO NOT CONSENT TO OUR WORK BEING TAKEN.
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3rd person pov 
Living the life of a Pogues is hard. Especially when you only catch feelings for Kooks. There’s only one type of Kook and those are the ones y/n recommends no one falls for. The cocky and stuck up Kooks. 
You see, y/n used to lead Rafe on. She wasn’t sure about what she wanted you to do until she realized that he was not for her. 
He’s argued too much about not being able to have sex with her, or even touch her. She wasn’t ready for someone like Rafe to touch her. They usually leave after they get what they want. 
It became an everyday argument, so she decided to stop talking to him. That’s when she started talking to JJ. Rafe grew mad and threatened her through social media and even at parties or whenever he saw her. 
Scotlynn's pov
“Are you scared yet?” JJ asked as John B parked in front of the outside movie theater. “I love scary movies, JJ. I keep saying this,” I playfully rolled my eyes, knowing he’s the one who’s actually scared. 
“Well see when you ask me or Pope to sing you a bedtime story, later tonight,” JJ joked as we all laughed. “Ha ha, very funny,” I said as we all got out of the car to make our way to the best spot on the grass before the Kooks got here and took up space. 
Me and JJ continued poking fun at each other as we grabbed our things to set up in the grass. JJ offered to carry most of my things, and I let him. He’s been trying to get at me and I’ve been accepting it. 
I’ve caught myself staring at him a lot recently. I’ve also felt like I couldn’t go a day without seeing him. I hope he hadn’t noticed, but it’s pretty obvious I like him back. Probably more than I think I do. 
“When a man’s around you, you shouldn’t be paying, y/n,” JJ said as he gave the lady who gave me my food, some cash. I put my wallet away with a sigh because he knows I hate when people pay for me. 
“Don’t worry. You can pay me back with a date. How about that?” He basically asked me out, making me smile. “Fine, but only because I have to pay you back,” I rolled my eyes as he chuckled. 
JJ and I walked back to the group and began to eat and talk before the movie started. JJ was already scared but accused me of being scared, so he pulled me into him. Now we’re cuddling, and Sarah’s smirking at me from the side. 
After several sips of my drink, I decided I had to use the restroom. “I’ll be right back,” I whispered to JJ as I slowly got up and ducked through people sitting down in their areas so I wouldn’t disrupt the movie too much for them. 
I quickly made my way through the big parking lot and to the bathroom, I didn’t know was this far. I hate when people put bathrooms far away from outside movie theaters. Anything can happen. 
I quickly went into the mini bathroom building and did my business. I flushed and washed my hands, then fixed myself up in the mirror, hoping to look more presentable to JJ when I came back. 
“I should have brought gum with me,” I said to myself as I made my way toward the front door of the restrooms. I opened the door, just to meet Rafe and Topper waiting outside of it. 
“Jesus Christ. What now, Rafe?” I asked, annoyed that he always finds a way to catch me alone. “Date with JJ Maybank? Really, y/n? Couldn’t get any lower than that?” Rafe asked, seeming upset for absolutely no reason at all as always. 
“What does that have to do with you? I’ve never dated you, and even if I do, I can do whatever I want now since I’m single. Now, piss off,” I said then went to pass him, but he got in my way. 
“Topper, don’t tell me he got you into this. Sarah is literally one of my closest friends. She’d be upset,” I said, hoping Topper would talk Rafe out of this like usual. 
“That line won’t work anymore, princess. He’s on my side. Especially after the deal I offered him. It’s hard to say no to it,” Rafe said as he tilted his head to get a look-up sundress I was wearing. 
“You’re sick, Rafe. Sick in the fucking head,” I said, then rolled my eyes and went to take a different way out of this mess until Topper got in my way, which is very surprising. 
“Don’t, y/n,” he said, sounding slightly threatening, but I didn’t care. I didn’t catch it too fast. “Topper, don’t fuck with me, okay? I’ll have Sarah on your ass, and I know how much you hate that shit. Now get out of my way,” I went to walk past again but he slightly pushed me back with a chuckle. 
“All the times I’ve helped you out of his situations. All the times I prevented something from happening, and you still give me that bitchy attitude. Shows how much of an ignorant bitch you are,” Topper surprised me with his words. 
“Thought I was the only one who noticed,” Rafe joked, making me grow angrier. “Fuck toy both,” I said. I didn’t even get a chance to my feet before Topper gripped my neck and pulled me close to him. 
“Straighten that shit up, before I do it for you,” he threatened, surprising me even more. “Topper!” I tried yelling but his hand was too tight around my neck. He’s so strong. 
“Don’t start, y/n. I’m giving you a chance to behave and accept that someone like you, isn’t for JJ. You’re for me-“ I went to say but I quickly kicked him hard in his crotch. As soon as he let my throat go, I took off. 
“Fuck,” Rafe cussed under his breath, not wasting time to run after me. I ran through cars and around them to make more space between us, knowing he was way faster than me. He almost had me when we first started running. 
I just hit the grass, close to the people sitting down but not close enough. The movie’s too loud for them to hear me if I yell and it’s too dark for them to see me running. 
I went to try and yell until I was pulled back and my mouth was covered. “Ah uh,” Rafe said as he dragged me backwards. I kicked and screamed but they were muffled. I went to kick more aggressively but he quickly pushed me off of him, grabbed a handful of my hair, and threw my face into a tree. 
I fell to the ground and whined in pain as tears filled my eyes. I’ve never felt pain like this before. I touched my forehead, hoping a scar might not be left. I felt blood…
“Rafe, what the fuck!” I cried out. I tried getting up but felt dizzy and fell back down. “Be if you didn’t pull that bullshit, I would have been easier. You’ve pushed my buttons enough,” Rafe said as Trooper walked up from behind him. 
“My truck. She pissed me off for the last time,” Topper said as he came up to me and grabbed me. “No, let me go you bastard,” I whined, feeling pain every time my brain worked too much. Topper threw me over his head and then walked off with me. 
Rafe smirked at me behind Topper's back, knowing he was up to no good. “Put me down! Where are you taking me? Let me fucking go!” I tried being loud but they just laughed. 
“Trying to stay tough? We’ll see how much of a tough girl you are once I break you,” Rafe said. “What?” I asked, confused but they ignored me since I didn’t really give a full question for them to ask me. 
“Open it up,” Topper said, sounding heated, but that’s not my problem. He put his hands on me and got what he deserved. Now it’s Rafe’s turn once I get a hand of myself. 
“Give us a hard time, and it’ll get worse, do you understand?” Topper asked right after he dropped me in his back seat. “Fuck you,” I said, full-heartedly, making him grab my ankles and pull me out of his truck. 
I fell to the ground, hitting the back of my head on the way down, making Rafe laugh in disbelief. He couldn’t believe how Topper was acting. It’s like he loves seeing this side of him. Like he’s been waiting. 
“You’re gonna learn some fucking manners,” Topper growled under his breath as I heard him fondling with his belt-hand jeans. “I thought you had some, but you clearly don’t Kook,” I said harshly as I tried to keep my vision focused, but couldn’t. 
Seconds later, Tooper harshly grabbed my hair, causing me to whine in pain but they were soon stopped by his cock being forced into my mouth. I screamed, trying to wiggle away, now noticing what they’d been trying to do, but it was too late. I’m here now, alone and far away from the crowd. 
“You talk a lot for a girl who struggled taking cock,” Topper thrust his hip harshly to force himself further into my mouth. I tried begging him to stop but he only pushed further until he was completely down my throat. 
“Fuuuck!” He groaned as he hunched over to rest his hand inside of his truck. “Shit… This is cheating,” he said, going to pull out but his knees bucked as my lips moved along his shaft. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he said under his breath as Rafe came up. “Just do it. You’re already here. Besides. We ain’t tell Sarah. I’ll make sure of it,” Rafe basically threatened. “Y-You promise?” Topper stuttered at me trying to relax him in my throat, but couldn’t. 
“I promise bro, just fuck her mouth. It doesn’t even count,” Rafe said, which is a lie. “Fuck! Thank you, bro,” Topper thanked before he continued his assault. 
“No, no, no!” I tried screaming and pushing him off, which made my headache worse. “Finally putting that bitchy little mouth to use,” Topper looked down at me as he tighten his grip on my hair, causing me to yelp in pain. 
“Better be glad I’m not stuffing your pussy full of my cum. Otherwise, you’d be a whore stuffed twice tonight by two different men. Maybe three times if JJ gets to action and realizes what a useful slut you are,” Topper said some hard words that Rafe would only say. Now I know why they’re so close. 
“Should take her back to the house to do what we really want to her. Maybe then she’ll realize how easy it is to get what we want,” Rafe said as he came up and rubbed a tear off of my cheek. 
“No, no, she needs to go back to the group. Don’t want them getting too suspicious,” Topper struggled to say. He’s close. And he’s going to make me swallow everything. 
“True. I’ll get my chance another time. We see how easy it is, after tonight,” Rafe chuckled as he backed up and Topper’s thrust got sloppy. I squeezed my eyes shut as Topper groaned loudly and slammed all the way down my throat to release. 
“And you swallowed it. How pathetic,” Topper said as he pulled out. He pushed my head away, causing my body to lay out on the floor once again. I thought it was over until Rafe pulled me up to my feet and then sat me down on the edge of Topper's trunk. 
“Keep your mouth shut, or I’ll have all of Figure 8 after your pretty ass, do you understand?” Rafe threatened again. I nodded as tears rolled down my cheek. 
Rafe stuck his tongue and dragged it across my face, licking up all of my tears until he reached my mouth to make out with me. I didn’t want to. He made me. I stayed still and stiff and didn’t move my lips as he went to work.  
I can’t believe he’s huffing and puffing while doing this. He’s turned on and gripping my waist. How could they be okay with this?
I’m now at home, lying beside JJ after the long night out. I had to tell him the bathrooms had long lines. He asked me about the blood on my face, and I lied. I told him “You know how I am? I hit my damn head on the bathroom stall,” and he believed it…
Part two!
part three!
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princkleeatscookies · 27 days
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before anyone asks me
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I said this in my other socials but yes, I'm still keeping my Strawberry Shortcake Cookie oc. (Though will be referring to her as OC!Strawberry Shortcake Cookie for now on while talking about the OC herself) MORE INFO IN THE KEEP READING!!
I created OC!Strawberry Shortcake Cookie around when I was in middle school (back when I was started out cookie run) and since then she became a main staple for my identity her design was a lot different compared to now and I developed her character since then, I couldn't exactly really change her nor I'll abandon her outright just bc of an existing character of the same name was released recently
Instead of abandoning her, I decided to let these two co-exist at the same time because, at the end of the day their similarities are just their names and nothing else Remember:
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OC!Strawberry Shortcake Cookie I'm referring to a 19 year old lovable idiot photographer who's in a relationship with her childhood friend who's the fuckass consul, and is currently in college (uses she/her btw)
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CANON Strawberry Shortcake Cookie is a puppy cakehound who the witch turn into a cookie in hopes of finding their lost owner (afaik, the pupper uses they/them and is also a puppy so..) PLEASE DO NOT CONFUSE THE TWO!!
-- with a vast world like Cookie Run, there's bound to have cookies sharing the same name BUT aren't the same ones like we know (like there could be a Cherry Blossom Cookie that's entirely different from the Cherry Blossom Cookie we knew, they literally just share the same name) It's really upsetting for me to see Cookie Run OC Creators outright abandoning their character they love and put a lot of work into just because of a mere "canon" version of their oc the stories and potential just gone to waste, and I wouldn't want anyone to feel that way. Your OC is your OC!! and you can do anything you want with them (as long as it's not.. y'know- weird) can't have a simple name/ingredient be getting out of your way of creating!! after all:
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I'll be making a separate post about a little trend/movement I had posted in both my twitter and instagram to basically having to draw cookies with the same ingredient as the canon ones shown in the game~! the main purpose of the trend is to encourage oc creators to keep their ocs and to show that it's okay (if they already change their name, I think you can still participate in it since their origins still there!!) here's an example
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I wanted to spread positivity out of this common problem within the oc creator side of the Cookie Run community and I hope you'll be encourage too, thank you all for reading this far into the post
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bearsbeetsbeskar · 1 year
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Restoring the Roots (Joel Miller x Therapist! reader)
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Chapter 1: Pre-Contemplation
Chapter 2 here | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | main masterlist |
Pairing: Joel Miller x therapist! reader, post outbreak Rating: none, will be changed to explicit in future chapters (slow burn, eventual smut, age gap) Summary: Life after moving to Jackson looks drastically different for Joel, survival mode is over and now he and Ellie can finally put down new roots. Ellie adapts easily but Joel finds himself struggling to settle into this new life, in more ways than some. At Ellie and Tommy’s insistence, Joel begrudgingly finds himself in therapy to try and work through his struggles but what he encounters is more than just painful memories and deeply rooted trauma. A/N: I cannot say enough thank you's to the number of lovely humans who encouraged this idea and supported me as I embark on my very first fic! And what better Pedro character to be the guinea pig for this idea? Lots of this story draws on my personal knowledge as a social worker, as I am working towards becoming a certified equine assisted therapist. Consequently, there are lots of horsey terms, therapy terms, and vivid descriptions of trauma at certain points. Feel free like, comment, or reblog if you enjoy it :)
Taglist (for now): @beskarandblasters, @pr0ximamidnight, @theewokingdead, @atinylittlepain, @prolix-yuy, @swiftispunk, @harriedandharassed, @amywritesthings
If anyone wants to be on the taglist please let me know! If you don't want to be on it then also let me know lol.
~~~~~~~
You sat up taller in your chair, arching your back and rolling your shoulders in an effort to stretch out your spine, exhaling softly as you heard the cacophony of crunches and protests from your muscles. You had been hunched over your notepad for over an hour, eyebrows scrunched together and your mind running on autopilot, as you caught up on client notes that you had fallen behind on for the last couple days. The downside of having a small therapy practice, hell any therapy practice, was that there was a never ending litany of documentation to fill out. Seeing as you were the only therapist in the tiny commune of Jackson, there was never a shortage of clients and consequently, never a shortage of session notes that you had to write. 
“Hun.”
You hear your name spoken in a warm tone from behind you. You barely look up from the page as you try to rewrite the word ‘diagnosis’ after what feels like the fifth time. The word has basically lost all its meaning at this point. 
“Honey, c’mon, the sun is about ready to set and you can wrap that up tomorrow.” The cover page to the notepad closes on top of your hand and you look up to see your assistant, Tracey, giving you a knowing look and then glancing towards the front of the office. You follow her gaze to the front windows and take in the deep ember orange hue washing over the business faces and windows on the opposite side of the street, signaling the end of another day. Sighing softly, you lean back in your chair and cross your arms over your chest with a frown. You know she’s right and yet you still have the same dispute every day. 
“Trace, you and I both know that if I don’t get them done today, they will just be added to tomorrow’s to do list, besides this is the last one I swear,” you say to her with a smirk, as if she has not heard that excuse before. 
You were never the kind of person to half-ass your responsibilities at your job, including client documentation, even if there was no longer any governing body or association to uphold professional social work standards. You did your job with integrity, even the mundane administrative tasks that involved more writing than actual talking with clients. Tracey knew this of course, it was something she admired about you, how suited you were for this line of work. It was clear that you cared deeply for the clients that you supported. But it doesn’t mean it was not a fight when the end of the workday rolled around and she had to tear you away from your desk and practically shove you out of the office door. 
She rolled her eyes at you and her lips curled into a small smile as she headed towards the door with her coat and bag in tow. “Promise me you will at least be out of here before the night patrol starts?” She points her finger at you as she stops just ahead of the door. You nod and wave her off as you turn your focus back to the notepad, smoothing your palm over the words etched into the cover ‘Restorative Reins.’ 
You had only been in Jackson for roughly over a month, though it felt like much longer. Much like everyone else who had survived the outbreak and came to find refuge in the small settlement after the world went to shit, you were grateful to accept any basic decencies of normal life that were afforded to you. Warm meals, warm showers, hell running water in general was a miracle in and of itself at that point. So when you actually arrived in Jackson, you were dumbfounded to see how much normalcy surrounded you. Children running and playing in the streets, storefronts of various thriving businesses, sheep being rounded up in a nearby corral - hold on, a fucking MOVIE THEATER? 
While it took some time to grow out of the perpetual fight or flight mode that you were entrenched in from life on the road, you did eventually fall into a good pace in Jackson. Especially after getting involved in the community and taking up the job as the local therapist, you had never been busier, and you loved it. 
The world felt unflinchingly obsolete post outbreak, but being able to support others with their mental health never failed to bring you joy and an unshakeable sense of purpose. You wanted to help others as they navigated their pain and broke down the mental blocks that entrapped them in their trauma. You wanted to help them realize the innate strength that they possessed. Sadly, you never got the chance to practice long term, as you finished up grad school just before the outbreak happened. But that didn’t seem to matter now as you had an endless stream of community members that you saw on a weekly basis at your practice, all with their own pain and struggles, seeking support.
It was crazy to think about the short period of time that had passed since you started at the job, how much you had done for the residents, how much more that you wanted to do. You were pulled from your memories when the office phone rang, internally groaning as you looked at your watch.
4:58 p.m. Of course. 
Steeling yourself you picked up the phone, praying that it was a quick call.
“Restorative Reins Practice, how can I help you?” you answered.
“Oh! hi ma'am,” a warm, mellow Southern drawl greets you on the other end. “Are you the local therapist that has been helpin’ folks out around here with their mental health?”
"That's me,” you reply warmly, “what can I do for you?”
The man hesitates briefly, “Well, I was uh wanting to know a bit more about the business I guess, how the therapy process works, fees and stuff for someone who was interested in getting help. Not me though, it’s not for me, it’s for my brother, Joel. My name is Tommy by the way,” he mentions quickly. 
“No problem Tommy, I can explain the basics to you including the different types of therapy I offer and how the process works,” you reassure him. You explain to him the different services, how the equine therapy worked, walk in hours, session lengths and so on. 
“I should probably mention that my brother ain’t keen on getting help and reaching out to others when he needs it, he’s too damn proud to acknowledge it, so he really doesn’t think he has any issues and thinks everything is fine… but he’s having a real tough time settlin’ down here. He’s so haunted by his past and he’s been acting differently lately, more temperamental, well, more than usual,” Tommy adds. You smile to yourself and nod, as you’ve had many clients before who were stuck in similar struggles and closed off to therapy initially.
“I can definitely understand that,” you sympathize with him. “It sounds like your brother has been through a lot and you just want him to get some support, which is great. Therapy isn’t for everybody but I have worked with many individuals like him who were going through similar situations, and they found great success.”
“That’s great to hear. That’s all I want for him is to get some help,” Tommy states.
“Now with that being said,” you continue, “therapy is voluntary, I cannot force someone to attend, but if your brother would agree to a consultation with me, I could chat with him more about where he is at, the kind of support he could benefit from and go from there. No pressure to commit to anything,” you propose to him.
“Hmm, I think he could be persuaded to try that, now that you mention it like that,” Tommy chuckles, sounding pleasantly surprised. 
“Awesome! You can tell him to stop by the office any time and we can discuss it more. We’re open from 9-5,” you tell him, silently relieved that it was an indeed quick call. He thanks you and hangs up. 
Something else akin to curiosity creeps into your mind as you recount what Tommy briefly told you about his brother. Maybe more so intrigue. You wonder how resistant he is to therapy, what happened in his past to hurt him so deeply, but you catch yourself before your thoughts run away from you further, either way you look forward to helping another person in need. 
~~~~~~~~~~~
“Tommy, I swear to god if you bring up this damn therapy shit again, I won’t hesitate to shoot you next time we’re out on patrol,” Joel growled through clenched teeth, as he walked away from his brother into the kitchen of the house. 
“Boy, it ain’t like I never heard that before,” Tommy quipped sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he followed Joel into the kitchen, pausing in the doorway as he leaned against the frame, hands shoved into his pockets. He observed his brother's rigid stance, the tightness in his shoulders, as Joel stood over the sink, looking out the window. 
This felt like the umpteenth time that Tommy had broached the subject of Joel getting help and talking to a ‘shrink,’ as he dismissively described it, for the issues that he was struggling with. Joel was fine. He didn’t have any fucking issues. He was doing just fine and didn’t need some professional to scrutinize him, reduce him to his vices, and open old wounds from his past life. He was encouraged to go to grief counseling after Sarah died but by some grace of God, or whatever godforsaken omnipotent entity existed at that point, the outbreak occurred. Forget mental health, physical health and survival became the only focus.
Tommy exhaled softly. “Listen, I'm only suggestin’ it because I care about you. Ellie cares about you. You both have been through hell and back in the last year, I mean shit, we all have. But it seems like everything y’all went through is still affecting you, holding you back from letting your guard down and settling in here,” he states plainly, sadness lacing his tone. 
“That’s bullshit Tommy and you know it,” Joel snaps, turning to face his younger brother and leaning back against the counter, arms crossed in defense. His gaze narrows.  “I go out on patrol don’t I? Pick up extra shifts wherever it’s needed, help out with the contracting jobs, go out with Ellie in town.” Joel stood up taller, puffing out his chest, challenging his younger brother. Tommy shook his head, running his hand over his face with an exasperated expression. Heaven forbid Joel did anything for himself that did not involve contributing or providing for someone, period. He just couldn’t shake that from his identity, and it broke Tommy’s heart as he watched his brother’s stubborn pride, ridden with guilt and trauma, swallow him whole. 
“Man when are you gonna fuckin’ do something for yourself Joel?!” Tommy asserted, his frustration reaching a boiling point. “Forget the damn commune, forget the community, forget Ellie for a sec and think about the last time YOU did something for yourself, the last time YOU reached out for help goddamnit.” He pushed off the doorframe and crossed the threshold of the kitchen as he strode towards Joel.
“You’re not on the run anymore brother. You don’t have to just survive. You can have a life here. You can sleep without keepin’ one eye open and relax without lookin’ over your shoulder. Don’t you want that? Don’t you think you deserve that?! Don’t you think you deserve this?!” Tommy said as he gestured around the cozy kitchen and fixed his older brother with a pleading stare. 
Joel’s eyes widened as he tried to step back, the edge of the counter biting into his lower back as he took in Tommy’s weary face, the pain in his soft brown eyes, mirroring his own. His younger brother rarely raised his voice anymore. The outbreak took its toll on his hot headed temperament that never seemed to simmer down, even after he was discharged from the army. Joel knew that Tommy cared about him, hell he knew how deeply his brother loved him, after all they had respectively been through in the last twenty years, it had to be serious for him to raise his voice. 
Joel opened his mouth, ready to bite back but his brother raised his hands in the air in surrender, “Look, this is the last time I will bring this up, I swear. But yesterday I called up the therapist in town who’s been helpin’ folks out, and asked her about the therapy process and she seems real nice, and supportive. She said you could come in for a consultation and talk to her and see if you’re interested,” Tommy said quietly.
Joel’s gaze narrows as he scrunches his eyebrows together in incredulity, “You-”
“I had nothing to lose Joel. Absolutely nothing. And neither do you,” Tommy cuts him off, raising his chin in defiance. “At least go talk to the therapist, if you don’t like her or you’re not feelin’ it, then I’ll drop it and let it go. Okay? The office is on the main street, just beside the clothing store, adjacent to the stables and they’re open everyday from 9-5.” 
“Jesus fucking Christ Tommy,” Joel leaned back as he looked up at the ceiling, wishing it would collapse in on him. Gotta love that brotherly love.  
“Look I should be getting back now, Maria will be waiting for me. Here’s the number and address for the business. I’ll see you around okay?” Tommy patted through his pockets and retrieved a small piece of paper with writing scribbled on it, placing it on the counter beside Joel. He gave him a last placating look before he walked out of the kitchen, the front door closing behind him with a soft click. 
Joel pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled sharply before turning back around to look out the kitchen window. He hung his head in defeat, rounding his back as he rested his elbows on the counter and glared into his matte reflection in the sink. He didn’t need any help. He was doing fine. He’s still upright and breathing, with blood coursing through his veins isn’t he? Albeit, he's not jumping out of bed like a sprightly thirty year old anymore. His knees pop and crackle when he gets up from crouching over machinery for too long, his joints protest the next day when he pushes himself too far, moving slower than usual on job sites. 
Hell, even his memory is starting to get cloudy around the edges. If it weren’t for Ellie some days, he’s sure he would leave the house without pants on, what with her always reminding him where things are in the house, special events that are coming up in the community that he forgets about. He had been a bit more snappy than usual, as Ellie so lovingly pointed out one day, but that’s nothing compared to his normal demeanour. 
“You’re becoming a grumpy motherfucker y'know that? Jeez, who shit in your cornflakes this morning?” She grumbled at him with a mouth full of cereal, after he snapped at her reminder that it was parent day at the local school. Parent day, P.A. day, Joel hadn’t dealt with any of this shit in over twenty years since Sarah was in school. Even then he managed to swiftly neglect many of the parental events, seeing as Sarah was the perfect student, with nothing but glowing reviews from her teachers. The fact that Ellie was going to school amidst a fucking apocalypse was enough for Joel to be content. 
But still, he’s doing fine, right? Just fine. 
“Maybe talking to someone that’s not related to you would help you, y’know? Being able to talk about shit that you can’t talk to me, or Tommy, or anyone else about you know?” Ellie proposed to him later that night.
As luck would have it, she was already home when Joel and Tommy spoke in the kitchen and she had heard pretty much the entire conversation. And like Tommy, she only wanted Joel to get support because she cared about him. 
“Think of all the shit that we went through in the past year, forget the infected, and the raiders, and FEDRA, and almost dying,” she casually listed off on one hand as if she was reciting a grocery list.
“There's so much shit that we’re both carrying with us, demons from our past, and it’s gotta come out one way or another. Look, therapists aren’t there to judge you, or analyze you,” she continued, “they’re kind of like a sounding board for you to bounce your thoughts off of, and they help you process shit you’re going through. You never know unless you try it,” she said matter of factly. 
“Like Tommy said, you got nothing to lose man. Plus the whiskey and pills will only help you numb reality for so long, you’re gonna go insane eventually,” she said, fixing him with a knowing look as she leaned back into the couch beside him.
Joel just grunted in response and frowned. Damn this kid for being too insightful for her own good.
Ellie might be young but she most certainly wasn’t naive. And as much as Joel would have liked to assume that her easy transition into life in Jackson was on account of her youthfulness, it really wasn’t. It was just the fact that she had never known a normal life, as heartbreaking as that was. She never had the chance to experience such normalcy before everything turned on its head. But she developed friendships with a few of the other teens in the community, namely one girl Dina, who she hung out with after school, went to the movies and other community events with.
She didn’t have to actively try to fit into Jackson, she just did. Joel would never acknowledge the pangs of jealousy he felt gnawing at his insides when he saw her getting on so well, but it didn’t mean they chipped away at his morale any less. 
Ellie smirked at his lack of response, knowing he was mulling it over in his mind. With the relationship they had developed over the past year, she was grateful to be able to talk to Joel and actually get through to him.
“Damn maybe I should be a fuckin’ therapist, that was good advice wasn’t it?” she grinned at him, elbowing him in his side.
Joel snorted and shook his head. “Christ, I must be losing my mind for real this time if you’ve got me considering it.”
“Now c’mon,” she wiggled her eyebrows at him, “you owe me at least a few games of Boggle for that pep talk,” she said triumphantly, holding up the weathered board game that was on the coffee table.
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