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#atleast I have a lot of motivation to draw
drippinonabuffet · 9 months
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The Wilson show.
(Doing many digital works lately to get better.)
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makotheseawing · 5 months
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I’ve all of a sudden been drawing a LOT lately……….I can smell a giant wave of artblock hitting me in the next few days
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bomber-grl · 4 months
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Hiro Hamada x Adhd! reader
Pairing(s): Hiro Hamada x Gn!Reader
Ps I’m not an expert but tried my best! @kidkadd
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Ok so I don’t think hiro would really care, in the sense that he’s indifferent if you were to ever tell him
I’ve got some personal headcanons I have for him but let’s stick to canon
Well anyway, when you mention your hyper fixations or just talk about them a lot hiro is always listening
He may seem distracted by SFIT assignments but more likely than not he’s listening in and would probably stop and look at you if you were to ever give some serious lore drops
If you were to ever get worried that he’d grow tired of your seemingly restless talking about said hyper fixations then best believe he doesn’t
On the contrary, he’d honestly probably want to know more about it and probs join the fandom alongside you 😭💀
Well, only if he has time or finds it interesting
He’d still listen regardless
If you’re the type to be hyper fixated on things every other week then he’ll probs mention some content/ fandoms he’s part of and indulge lolol
He’d honestly probs love having you around because of how energetic u can be sometimes
He’d probably be exhausted and you’ll just be over here having a random burst of energy
Most likely gives him motivation to continue working especially if he’s got no motivation lol
Plus it’s a definite extra when he wants to sneak out and you eventually become a go to
Honestly hiro would probably just get used to your forgetfulness 😭😭
At this point it’s ingrained in his head to expect you to forget atleast one thing or even something you’re going to say
Learns to just go along with it
And when you inevitably get burnt out then he’d be there too
Doesn’t really have a choice but atleast he’d try his best to just support you
Yknow, despite his moods and how much he tries to act like a menace to society it’s obvious he still cares for you
On the very other end of the spectrum, when you draw or involve everything you do with what your fixated on he’d probs actually get inspo from it
He’d probably just give you credit but if you were to every mention being the reaosn he got out of (whatever is the equivalent of robotics to writers block) then he’ll deny it like his life depends on it
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Hopefully it was good enough 😭I mostly based it off the req and if there are any problems then I’ll be sure to fix anything!
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alcoholfreenayeon · 6 months
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can you please write chaeyoung as your girlfriend headcanons? sfw and nsfw. i will be very grateful, thanks in advance.
A/N: Whaaaat, 2 fics in one day????
Here you go anon, for some reason, I’m quite motivated today so I finished this quite quickly. Hope you like it🥰!
Chaeyoung girlfriend HCs:
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SWF HCs
Possessive. So very possessive of you. It might be surprising but she simply can’t stand it if you are flirty or even just friendly towards others. She wants you only for herself
Chaeyoung sees you as her safe space, her safe place so don’t be taken aback if at the end (or even beginning) of the day she climbs onto you and just talks about her day, her thoughts and whatever else she has going on in her head.
Of course Chaeyoung likes to draw you. Sometimes she’ll just use a picture of you as reference. Otherwise she wants you to be her model. It’s not easy but she makes it worth it.
She likes to take you out for dates, specifically to museums. Even though you aren’t as interested or knowledgeable in art, you are still able to appreciate the works. Besides, any date with Chaeyoung is bliss for your lovestruck heart.
Chaeyoung loves romantic stuff so you can expect lots of thoughtful gestures and presents from her. She really likes to make you smile and feels like she’s doing a good job as your girlfriend.
Likewise, you try to be romantic to her as well knowing she’s really into it but watching her get flustered and embarrassed never gets old for you, in fact you think it’s the most adorable thing ever.
She even gets really shy whenever the rest of Twice asks about you or mentions the two of you.
She will give you the most thoughtful presents
She claims to have written a song about you but whenever she’s asked to reveal it, she says that it’s too embarrassing to be public.
She always snuggles into you when she’s sleeping.
NFSW HCs
She’ll act all horny and eager but if you end up taking charge, she’ll become really bashful.
She’s surprisingly dominant at times.
Whether she’s being dominant or submissive, Chaeyoung always prefers to be on top.
The first time, she tried Wax play with you, you were really nervous since you don’t like pain. You endured the first few minutes which you didn’t like but soon began to settle in as Chaeyoung began to work her magic and goddamn it felt so sensual and hot.
Like by the end of it, you were ready to beg Chaeyoung to make you cum. And she was seeing how much you were liking it too. And she was smug about it, beginning to tease you, wanting to hear you beg.
It’s become somewhat of a tradition for you to eat Chaeyoung out after her concerts. Like, she works so hard in and for them that it gets tiring, stressful and a bit frustrating. So that helps her release all of it and helps her relax. Though she does insist that one orgasm only help with one of those emotions so you have to oblige and continue eating her out til she feels she’s completely at peace.
She leaves marks and hickeys all over your body. Though when you confront her about it she gets shy.
She likes to bite your shoulder specifically, especially if you are making her feel good.
If you tease her in public, she’ll be so very shy and against it but as soon as you both reach home, she’ll be all over you. “You are so silly Y/N, atleast wait til we are home”.
She likes dirty talking on occasions but will frequently make comments when the two of you are at it.
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kikarouflames · 2 months
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Motivating you to try:
So I wanted to say that if you want to write and draw but are too afraid and insecure it might not be good, please remember everyone starts somewhere. I don't think I am at all a good writer or a perfect artist either. Since my first language is not english, my vocabulary is limited and my grammar is not entirely correct either. But I wanted to atleast try and I did, the amount of typos I notice makes me cringe but it makes me happy too when people like that work. My drawing needs a lot of improvement, I suck at drawing many things, but art always has been my passion so I draw either way. Art is a way of expressing yourself through writing, drawing, painting etc, if you want to do it, just do it and keep doing it and day by day you will be better at it, you will learn something and might realize many things about yourself and other things.
I know fear of not being good all too well, but fear is the biggest problem in the way of your journey of learning and putting yourself out there, I felt it too but when I gave it a try and received kind response from people I felt a bit more confident everytime. There are times my art won't get enough attention and I admit it saddens me but I am proud of it and I try to think that the things I learned and the feelings I experienced are the best things about the process. Do it for yourself and to learn, ignore the rude or insensitive response and appreciate the kind and sweet ones.
That's all, if you want to do it just do it. Saying this as a highly anxious person who overthinks all her words and most trival of the actions. You can do it. This whole ramble and poor attempt at motivation might have many mistakes as well but I hope it helped. Trying is important, an attempt is all it takes to realize many things.
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since you seem interested in the "kokushibo adopts the totiko twins au" Ive decided to bombard you with some more of my thoughts on it (so sorry)
-I imagine kokushibo feels guilty for leaving his children and loves the totiko children to make up for that guilt. Still, when the twins ask about his children since they are naturally curious about there lineage, he lies to them and says that he was a good father so he hasn't partially taken the blame for it.
-However despite "hating his brother" he always tells the totiko stories about him, usually at first talking about his poweress, until later digressing into funny stories about him when they were kids because he like seeing yui and mui laugh.
-He sees the twins in different ways. yui he sees more in himself, the older more protective and harsher twin. In mui, he sees yoriichri, which I imagine makes him instinctly more protective of him even though he denies it.
-Yui loves most of the uppermoons specifically gyuratro when he com es out ad mui absolutely hates gyokko and has beef with him. Both decided that akaza is their designated favorite besides kokushibo obviously.
anyway sorry for bothering ^^
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OMG HI HELLO! YES I AM INTERESTED AND LOVE THE AU SM YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW 😭😭
ALSO I'M SO SUPRISED YOU FOLLOWED ME, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE NOTIFIED ASWELL WHEN I REBLOG FROM YOU AAAA I'M SORRY FOR BEING ANNOYING 😭😭😭
Okay uhm anyways, yes the first one you said is basically my motive for him aswell Yoriichi prob said smtg to him before he died of old age like "I'm sorry for bringing you into this brother, if I didn't maybe you would live a happy life with your wife and kids.." and then say something after like "I envy you brother... You got to have a nice family.. though I am very happy for you.." and that's how Kokushibo felt horrible for leaving his kids in some way, but still "hates" Yoriichi. And so, after that he watches his family from afar, seeing his bloodline grow one by one, to Yui and Mui, and seeing a demon go to their house and save them was Parental instinct 😭😭😭
And yes I also thought he would tell stories of Yoriichi and how powerful he is, all of his accomplishments, etc. He still feels very conflicted about Yoriichi still but seeing Yui and Mui warms him for some reason 🥺
I THINK THE SAME WAY TOO LIT IT RUNS IN THE BLOOD, THE OLDER TWIN IS THE HARSH TWIN AND THE YOUNGER TWIN IS THE SOFT TWIN HHHHH 🥺😭
I also thought of their interactions with Upper Moons! But it's for the ones were Koku turns them both demons! I would find their interactions like this if they're both humans:
Doma: Since I'm sure they'll be 11 y.o. they would probably scared of him but think his eyes are pretty, and Doma would also love to play with them! Though Kokushibo really probably doesn't trust him but he knows that if he trusts the twins in Doma's care, the twins would have a safe and cozy place like the paradise and would provide food from his followers, plus Doma is second strongest after him, he trusts that Doma will protect them quickly. If the Twins aren't Demon slayers then they'll probably have a really good time with Doma, especially if Doma makes them ice statues of them!
Akaza: He would reluctantly do cause yk... Kokushibo and all that but I think he'll get along with them a lot later on, Akaza would probably show a very softer side of him to the twins and maybe train them a little.
Hantengu and His clones: I think they would make flowercrowns for Hantengu 🥺! I think the twins would atleast once make fun of his appearance and lump on his forehead but since Hantengu cries a lot the twins would feel bad afterwards and make it up to him by making flowercrowns!!! (They would probably still pick on him but not a much lol). For the clones, Urogi and Karaku would be the very playful ones, while Sekido and Aizetsu wouldn't be as much but would try their best.
Gyokko: HAHAHAHAHA OH BOY I KNOW THEY'LL MAKE FUN OF HIM A LOT, ESP FOR HIS ART SKHDKSJDKS- Kokushibo rlly need to cut off the fights and protect the twins from Gyokko. Also since they keep insulting his art, Gyokko would do all he can to pull smthing outta his pot to atleast impress them PFFT- I thought of a scenario that he thought to put one of his fish minions in his water prison pot and that's the "art" the tokito twins will be interested in, and Gyokko would snap and yell at them saying something like, "YOU BRATS, THAT'S THE THING YOU'RE IMPRESSED AT??? IT'S SO SIMPLE AND BORING, YOU BOTH HAVE NO TASTE WHATSOEVER!!!"
Daki and Gyutaro: I think they'll get a long well! Since they are siblings too! Daki would prob dress and make up Mui and Yui pretty lmao, and take them around the entertainment district haha- Idk abt Gyutaro but he would try his best, he would probably find it difficult since Daki is the only sibling he's had and she turned out to be like... That cuz of Gyutaro, so he'll need to find other ways. But I think the twins would be happy around them!!!
ANYWAYS THIS IS SO LONG I'M SO SORRY!!! I also wanted to draw something related to this but I didn't felt like it, so I found these old doodles I made back in April (?) that's quite similar-ish to what we're talking about, But it's mostlu for shits and giggles ahaha, anyways this has gone long enough, thank you user sapphickocho for stopping by and be my first question!!! 🥺🥺🥺
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megumi-fm · 1 month
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18 day habit tracker
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since the year started, days are passing by and sure I'm doing alright and getting stuff done but lately it just. feels like I'm whiling away a lot of my time which which I could spend learning or doing a lot of things that I've kept shelved for years. I want to make better use of my days and I want to understand how to kind of... develop the intrinsic motivation to improve my productivity. additionally, I also need to do things to take better care of my help given the harsh weather and my ankle (im)mobility.
so I've decided to spend the next 18days trying to be more conscious of how I'm spending my time and also trying to push myself little by little. in this eighteen days I want to figure out what my limits are (vs what I think my limits are) and I also want to understand how to stay consistent and maintain the momentum I need to keep going. eighteen seems like a small enough number to start with; from some surface web scouring it seems like 18days is the minimum number of time it takes to develop a habit. and coincidentally enough it's my birthday in exactly 18days so it seems like a good place to start
to track
🥛 water intake ⏰ hours of sleep +sleep and wake times 📵 phone usage 🍉 fruit intake +the kind of food I'm eating in gen 📖 reading
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personal goals
🧮 relearning math my relationship with mathematics has been quite messy since junior college and it has only worsened through the past four years of engineering(with the introduction of multivariate calculus and Laplace transforms and whatnot)... it feels kind of late and embarrassing to start now but I really want to understand math better and enjoy doing it and now is a good time to face my fear/discomfort and start over at the very basics. I'm gonna start with precalculus and linear algebra
💃 dancing I used to dance all the time as a kid and then... i don't know what happened... as a lover of kpop choreographies it's heartbreaking to realize I haven't learnt nearly as many dances as I'd have liked to. The year started off pretty strong but then my ankle got in the way and... yeah... I want to get back into dancing both as a means to improve my mobility and as a means of exercise, and also because I enjoy dancing in gen... and four to five days seems like good enough time to learn a single dance so i hope to learn the choreography of atleast 3-4 dances in these 18days
✏ art I have wanted to learn drawing for years now but for some reason I just never seem to get around to it (the 'some reason' being my impatience and inability to accept that I'm actually a beginner) but yknow what. if I'm anyway going to feel bad about how poor I am at drawing, I might as well do it while drawing poorly instead of trying to avoid it. I've decided to use this youtube playlist as my starting point
🍳 cooking for someone who is planning to live abroad and live alone I can't cook to save my life, but putting that aside, the main reason I want to cook is that a lot of my favourite regional cuisine is centered towards dishes for the winter and I want to learn to make tasty + nutritional food suitable for this summer heat without resorting to consuming excessively sugared juices and soda in copious amounts
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yeah. day1 starts today. I hope it works out. my weekly tracker and my work tracker will also be updated in parallel
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sulfies · 22 days
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have you drawn any other assassin? i'd love to see them in your style, but no pressure of course! your art just aaaaaaaaa i love it so much!!! all of it!!! love the body types and their cute little fights and banter and the bleeding effect angst and just i dunno, i'm not great with words, but your art is amazing and i can't wait to see what else you make!!!! <3
I have not :'(, its mostly bc I havent played their games or looked at any of their lore so idk who they are except small fandom knowledge.
Thabk you so much for the kind words since I havent had this many interactions for my art n work since like...2016 :'O Im glad everyones enjoying it
Its motivating me a lot and its been a while sinve I have drawn for me (or drawn at all lmao)
For other Assassins most likely as I go thru the games I might draw them, Connor seems most likely bc I plan on playing the games atleast till AC3 (bc Im mostly here for Desmond ngl) and after might watch vids on black flag etc etc. Sadly I just dont know enough about them or their personalities to want to draw them 😭
Feel free to lmk whos ur fav and why doe Id still like to know about em
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clock-onyx · 4 months
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My art summary or something!!!
HI OK... sorry for like. Not posting for some time my motivation killed me bleghhh
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Did this quickly because i actually never done this before!!! Sorry theyre all choppy and shit Ibis make it all look pixelated 💔💔💔 i dont think ill draw a lot more till the end of the year and so i wont forget about this i did it now
I cant tell if i improved or not? Atleast my drawings are less dull thats what i can see atleast, i tried to experiment more with it all to see what i can do and i plan to continue in 2024 like this too!!!
i dont think ill have a drawing ready for christmss though im sorry i cant draw anymore my motivations on art has been strained all december 😭 ill probably just post whatever i drew recently that i forgot to post
Happy holidays!!! <|:333
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kx0e · 8 months
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RAHHHH TYSM FOR ASNWERING MY PREVIOUS QUESTION!
So. I had 3 problems-
1. Constant study but no results
>I make sure I atleast spend 2 hours atleast twice a week doing full body or partial body sketches with references (from lineofaction🔥), and have been since 2021, but going from barely any art ability to now, all i've managed to do is drawing things from the neck up☠️ No matter how many different kinds of faces or perspectives i try its always the 3/4 side view. And i can barely even draw a recognizable jawline😭 (but then on any whiteboard or public art thing its as if the spirit of a medieval master artist possesses me)
2. motivation
>how on this earth do you stay motivated to draw your favorite fandoms😭 theres tons of shows i LOVE or games that I adore, whos characters i literally am obsessed with, but once i pick up a pencil its as if I've never seen them in my entire life💀
3. I know youre not really an oc artist (understandable, if I had the ability to draw genshin and/or persona characters forever, i WOULD.) But if you do have any, is there any specific place you got inspo from? a lot of art advice i see is to turn an object or concept into a character of some sort, but no matter where I look, and how inspiring it is, as previously stated, all traces of muscle memory delete themselves the second i pick up a pencil☠️
Have a nice day, Im really bad at explaining i apologize, and TYSM for hearing me out💖
long reply
1 - maybe doing some theory rather than drawing could help you, if you study the human skeleton and muscle you might understand more how the body works and therefore how it must look in different poses (read MORPHO). Other advice is to trace your references with basic shapes and landmark (just a cube and a cross for the face) and then do your study, you can also do quick studies focusing on only one part of the body but draw it under all angles (the thing is to not rush, if you have trouble drawing the face as a whole, draw all the element separated and add them little by little)
2 - this honestly depends on the person, im someone who loves fandom art but i have zero OCs because im not interested, dont force yourself to draw things you dont want too it usually ends up looking bad anyway !
3 - i do look at objects first when doing character design, but i also like to look at plants or in fashion history books. Most of the time i first do a global search on pinterest to find the general idea and then go to more specific sites depending on what im going for
i think you should take your time and draw only when you're in the mood for it, when you feel motivated pick up a pen and DONT THINK just draw whatever
remember art takes time, patience and a lot of practice, dont force yourself and draw for yourself first ^^
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goobiestar · 1 year
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Hot take: a majority of villains in the books are really badly written including tigerstar himself and honestly the fandom does much better at characterizing them than the books ever did. I love hawkfrost but in books a lot of the cool concepts surrounding him aren’t even approached and hes really kind of a disappointment writing wise with his only goal being power just like the majority of villains in this series. Power isn’t even a bad motive essentially, but how these villains are written just doesn’t take advantage of it or try to do anything interesting — most villains aren’t even good in a so vile you love them way they just kinda suck
Hi i am not gonna be drawing this because i saw a split second of this earlier yesterday and yeah youre right, you’re so right that you motivated me later today to rewrite Tigerstar I because im sick with a headcold and i have nothing more to do with my life
And yeah, power is actually a good motive, but honestly very repetitive at this point, every single character wants to be deputy/leader and ends up flunking the whole thing at the end of the day to the point it’s very tiring.
This also makes Villians kinda useless with the whole power thing and theres more to being a evil character rather than just being leader, They’re all repetitive and kinda dry because they all want to be the one in charge which… is boring. Really. It’s boring.
I guess if im being honest the only evil character that caught my eye was definitely ashfur, a redeemable cat until he starts obsessing over Squirrelflight and not accepting the answer “No” so he goes and possesses her husband’s body. Thats fucking hilarious??? And pathetic? But it isnt boring, like yeah we knew the imposter would be Ashfur at the end but atleast he isnt like all the other villians trying to take over the fucking clans for the 8373637th time..
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annakenziesworld · 4 months
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A tip on getting past a focus on perfection.
For some people, when they look down at their art they will see problems everywhere and try and fix every little thing that looks odd to them. This can be considered art blindness, it is caused when an artist has been staring at a drawing long enough that even if it looks good they will only see the flaws in it. I have always had a major issue with this and have had a tendency to even feel the need to make even my own watermark absolutely perfect. A way I've been trying to push through art blindness is drawing on paper with pen and nothing else. This may seem like it could be silly however with pen it forces you to work with your mistakes instead of merely erasing and trying again, it causes you to need to use a different sketch book or piece of paper if you wanna make a minor change. Because of that fact it allows you to figure out how to focus on how to improve your drawing and to work with the mistake instead of around it; or in other words it forces you to trust the process. Here are some examples of things I drew utilizing this art exercise. A lot of these will later be made digital and I will color them in. These are far from perfect and I can definitely see some flaws especially in anatomy however this gave me a chance to actually finish some drawings and try to work on improving any mistakes I made and learn from them so I can try and avoid them in the future. This technique can be very infuriating but your end product whether just a sketch, doodle, or finished piece of art shows you put effort into improving and whoever tries I'm proud of. Even if someone rages or quits before finishing the drawing I am also proud of you for atleast trying. Those who don't have motivation to do it but are thinking about doing it? I am also proud of you. If anyone utilizes this exercise be sure to respond to this post or at me in your post. <3
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distort-opia · 1 year
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okay this isn't about batjokes but about riddlebat lmao. like i getcha if you ship them cutely (for example lego batman or telltale for batjokes) but when they ship them from the The Batman 2022 movie and they treat them like they're just a bit quirky !! of a normal relationship ship, the whole thing just makes me want to cringe cause what?? they ain't some kind of funny lil villains edgy uwu and if you do want to ship them i feel like it should be something atleast a bit like batjokes ig
I mean... tbh, I'm a little "why would you ask us, a Narnia blog, this" regarding this ask, since I'm not really a Riddlebat shipper :)) But the comparisons with Batjokes indeed seem to happen frequently, which doesn't really work if you look at it in detail. Joker and Riddler are distinctly different characters, especially in comics, and their dynamics with Bruce also heavily differ. But well, if you're a villain and obsessed with Batman... I guess the parallel is easy to draw.
When it comes to Riddlebat in The Batman (2022), I'm not really surprised by the uwu-ification of Bruce and Edward especially. This inevitably happens with this type of character; hell, it happens with most (white and even a little bit attractive) serial killers. For example, a Netflix show about Jeffrey Dahmer came out recently, and you can bet there's a fandom around it as well, despite everything. There's a segment of fandom that'll always find dark, obsessive characters attractive, and derive enjoyment from... well, not sanitizing them, but making them fluffy and cute and palatable, in a sense. Not sure if "I project on the other character in the ship and the thought of this horrible person being desperate and cute for me" is the draw, or if it's more "We're going to depict these two dark characters as what they lack in canon specifically"... or a combination, or something else entirely.
However, the latter is a phenomenon in most fandoms with darker ships, including Batjokes. It's not just Riddlebat. Fanwork tends to reflect what canon has the least of. That's how you get a lot of fluff or found family or happier fics in fandoms that have grim or tragic canon material (this is the case with Batfam-oriented works too). I personally don't begrudge fans who enjoy making or consuming lighter content for darker ships, since I understand what the draw is and the motivation behind it. I'm more of an enjoyer of the darker aspects of canon, and that's that-- I create that kind of content, and I know how to filter and navigate fandom to find what I like. There's only a problem if these fans don't make the distinction between "this is my personal headcanon and preference" and "this is canon characterization". If you unironically woobify the villain and argue they're misunderstood and actually they're so emotional and so hurt, etc. etc... then yeah, I get the frustration, Anon. At the end of the day, if you're going to ship villains who have canonically terrorized and killed people, you should be able to own it. If it makes you that uncomfortable to interact with a character this canonically dark, it's better to just move on to a different one, rather than justify their actions and rewrite the canon in your head to the point where that character isn't even recognizable anymore as themselves.
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TW// mentions of self harm, body shamming, vomiting
Hello everyone it's me Serenity hehe
These past few days, I've been quite down and literally no motivation to move at all. I wanted to take a break from Tumblr for a few days but at the same time, I don't. Tumblr is the only place rn where I can find happiness and taking a break from Tumblr is kinda hard for me.
I've been doubting myself lately. A LOT. Misery is lingering in my whole body and I can't even look into my family's eyes without wanting to cry. I've doubted every one and everything I can do and have. I don't thinking I'm a lovable person, I feel like shit.
I do have friends (ol and irl) and the thing is, only 1 or 2 out of those people genuinely care about me. But do they really? I don't know anymore. Not only that, when in a group of friends and one of them decided to pull up with fucking favoritism, it makes me want to die, genuinely. It makes me feel like I am loved/liked less compared to others. Is it that hard to treat your friends equally especially when you entered their friend group? 🙁 But who am I to complain? Who am I to question them? Who am I to feel sad? I'm just a random stranger they met online. And because of my internal doubt, I don't think anyone actually cares about me as I, myself, think that I literally don't have anything that can be loved
I'm brainless, I also almost failed every subject I have and I don't even have anything I'm good at at school. Yeah, I can draw, but I'm not good at it. I say that every art is beautiful but my mind is starting to exclude my own art. Also, one time someone asked me 5 things I like about me, I had to think about atleast a few answers so hard since I really couldn't think of anything. Literally nothing is special about me
One of my wishes is for me to stop being attached to someone easily. Because of that, it hurts me a lot when I get attached to someone whether I know them personally or online and it turns out, I am just nothing to them
I lost all my motivation to move and my past few drawings are made with force. As I said, I almost failed school because of loss of motivation and another thing that bugs my head but I wouldn't talk about it. And since I lost motivation to do school, I only draw for the sake of me being happy even just for a little bit but now, my art is starting to look like shit in my eyes. Nothing makes me happy anymore and I feel like sadness and loneliness are swallowing me little by little
It came to the point where I stood on the kitchen, making a coffee. I was going to take scissors but the knife took my attention. I was trying my best to ignore the knife and not let my thoughts take over me to harm my body but I suddenly took the knife and placed it on my thigh, I was going to slash it but it was dull and I managed to stop myself from doing so and to not grab the sharper knife to use instead. I hate my thighs so much, they are big and always gets made fun of which I think is why it's the first thing I've thought of to harm amongst all my body and use it to let out my feelings. My so called "friends" makes fun of my arms and thighs the most which results to me hating it SO MUCH. They'll also call me "dead hungry" (which is translated as patay gutom in our language but I don't know the english term to it) or "greedy" and even make fun of my breasts and call them "saggy". Every time I'll take more spoonful of rice, I always feel guilty, I always feel like everyone is judging me. And I feel that every stare is like a dagger stabbing me and I fill up with guilt.
Earlier, I purposely vomited what I ate as I was breaking down in the bathroom. It kinda felt nice, it made me feel less guilty that I eat a lot.
Every time I'll look at the mirror, I am always disgusted by the sight facing me. I always feel like I'm ugly and no matter how much someone compliments me, I never believe them. The words "ugly", "cow", and "whale" are carved on my brain and they wouldn't leave. I feel so ugly and disgusting from head to toe.
I also remember one time which shattered me SO MUCH when we had a project, you need to have a partner since it's a partner/duo activity and one of my classmate was talking to his friend (which is also my classmate) and as I was sitting on my desk, I overheard them because they were behind me. "Find me a partner, anyone, I don't care who" then his friend replied, "[my name]" , it caught my attention even more and his reply was "Anyone but her" then they proceed to laugh hard. It shattered me so much especially because they had the guts to talk about me like that behind me, literally behind me. He was also the guy who talked about my body once or maybe more
I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. Drawing was the only thing that makes me happy when doing personal things but I slowly view my own art as "ugly". Here I go again, comparing my art to others. I wish I had the talent, I wish I had the skills, I wish my own art isn't ugly, I really want to improve but I literally don't want to move and do anything. There was a hint of lie when I mentioned that I was enjoying drawing those little comic strips. I feel so drained, so lonely, so fucking worthless, useless, and a big disappointment
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cannibalishere · 5 months
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Hello everyone and im not dead, I am just mostly active on Discord… Either way, since i wasn’t active in here, i just wanted to let ya know some things.
Yknow does WH AUs that I have made in a while, right? So basically i am just, separating the AUs from the fandom (for personal reasons) and It will be my ocs for now (and I will just change the designs too… possibly i guess.)
Either way, A lot of things just happened and me and a good friend of mine we just did a callout on someone but, i wont go into full details. Atleast it was kinda “over” but yeah.
Either ways, I just ran out of ideas cuz, art block and the college (or school) is killing my drawing motivation, but eh. Anyqueers, Idk wtf to do w my life anymore so imma just evaporate once again.
:P
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proserpina-magnus · 3 years
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If you do nsfw alphabets, can you do one for marlene (if not that’s completely okay!)
Hi! Sure you can, I hope you like it (it’s not the best but oh well). Mwah.
Marlene Mckinnon NSFW Alphabet
Reader: described as fem (or with female genitialia) since Marlene is hc’d as a lesbian in this.
Warning; pure smut Headcanons. oh and this isnt checked for spelling.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Shes prettty sweet, definitly helps you out of any bounds or restraints if they were used during sex, she likes to play with your hair (or style it). She would possibly read you a chapter of your favourite book or tell you the latest gossip. She will most definitely run you a bath (and that would probably lead to another round), and she would even wash your hair or draw little shapes on your shoulder blade.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Her favourite body part on herself if her shoulders, she’s always been a bit insecure about them (since they are a bit bigger) but once she began playing quidditch she really started to like them.
Her favourite body part on you is probably just your entire body, she enjoys running her hands almost every wear and gripping the flesh (bonus points if you have doughy and bigger potions, eg hips, thighs, stomach).
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
She loves pussy eating for this very reason of getting to watch and taste you, it’s basically her favourite activity and she’s always fantasizing about it.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Her first time was with Mary in fifth year, it wasn’t even supposed to go that far. They began kissing just to try and you know the rest. There weren't any romantic feelings between them and they agreed to never talk about it again. But she sometimes really wishes it would become a regular thing.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
She’s pretty experienced with her own body, so she uses her own knowledge and applies it to you. She asked quite a lot the first few times, what you liked and didn’t. But now she’s an expert at pleasing you.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Most likely when you’re on top, especially because she gets to lay back and watch you (which is her favourite thing to do). She loves to hold your hips, guiding your pace and smiling if you get frustrated.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
It depends, she definitely makes more teasing comments but they aren’t really funny (well atleast not to you). Sometimes though, something just happens (either “embarrassing” like a sound or movement) and you both just kinda burst out laughing. Your first times together was more light hearted, but as you go on it get more serious.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
She is pretty well groomed, she trims it more often than goes completely bare, for friction reasons. She just prefers to be well kept, but she doesn’t care if you are or not.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
She’s very caring sometimes, even if she’s teasing. She’s always shushing you gently with a grin, and she loves to stroke your hair when you’re just about to cum. She doesn’t really realize how intimate she is.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
She loves it, obviously she enjoys sexual moments with you but she also likes time to herself and loves exploring new things (like toys). She doesn’t do it as often when you both get together, but she still does it occasionally.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
She has many, but she doesn’t always do them at the same time. She likes to branch out and try new things. Definitely dom and sub roles is a huge part (she’s a switch, but probably prefers dom). She loves hair pulling and spanking, along with dress up ( she fucking loves lacy lingerie sets or when you wear her clothes).
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Her dorm, though she prefers in the shower or bath. She really likes those quick fucks in a closet, or in the locker rooms.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Short skirts or whenever you give her fuck eyes, she loves it when people look completely vulnerable sexually. She especially get motivated whenever she teases you and you go bright red (or at least flustered, like mumbled stuttering).
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
She won’t do anal, she’s never really been a fan of it (except for spanking, she loves that shit). But she will never do anal play, it actually sorta freaks her out.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
She prefers if she’s given it, especially when she gets to sit on your face and sorta just completely suffocates you. She doesn’t mind going on you, she enjoys it, but she much rather be the one receiving it.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
She’s a mix of all, it depends on her mood. She typically can go fast and sensual, even though she likes to take her time. It’s an odd combination, but that’s what works for her. Can you imagine fast and rough
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Absolutely, she loves ‘before games’ quickies in the dorms or changing rooms. Or between class fucks, she will take it anytime she gets.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
She is really risky and will most definitely do it anytime and anywhere, but she prefers places she used too. She is constantly wanting to try new toys or new positions. Her middle name is experiment, of course she would only do things that aren’t crossing your boundaries.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
It depends, she can get bored of the same stuff so it depends if you guys have time to explore new things. She can go a good few, like 4, since she is athletic and has good stamina, but she definitely needs a break in between.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
She owns many variations from dildos to vibrators. She uses them quite a lot, since it’s easier. She’ll use them on herself and you, but of course she will wash them and properly take care of them. She’s quite skillful with and without them, so whether you both use them or not, you’re definitely having the time of your life.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
She’s always a tease, whether it's leading her hand up your thigh in class, wearing short skirts or no bra, whispering dirty things, it happens on a daily basis. She gives you yearning looks during class, smirking. It’s 50% sex and 50% taunts and teases.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
She’s not that loud, she swears more often than actually groaning. She sometimes does those small whimpers if you’re leading (which only happens in a blue moon), but she isn’t actually quiet; she talks to you.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
She would definitely want Lily or Mary to join, or she would love to go to one of this girls sleepover party’s and it ends up being a sex-a-thon orgy. She isn’t into men, so if ahy threesome’s where to go down it would be with girls.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
She has perky breasts, they're small but she likes them and her confidence makes you like them as well. Her strap is around 7 inches, but it’s more girthy.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Pretty high, she can go any time and where. She’s always thinking about sex but she is never actually horny most times, when she is horny she can go for hours on end.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
She actually has a very high stamina due to quidditch, so she has built up a tolerance to stay awake after a ‘workout’. There for, she can stay up for hours after sex and will probably spend her time taking care of you.
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