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taylorman2274 · 3 months

Text

We Care About You (Part II)

The aftermath that follows is a struggle for everyone to comprehend.

Content Warning(s): N/A

Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader

Word Count: 1k

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Taglist: @silverstarred

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The past few days have been hard for your mind to wrap around.

Ever since that particular incident you had while playing Genshin, you've been extremely hesitant to log back on. Now that you knew all the people of Teyvat were self-aware, you were scared to imagine what they thought of you.

"Have they been self-aware the entire time that I've been playing? Have they always been able to hear my voice whenever I spoke aloud? Do the Traveler and their friends hate me for forcibly controlling their movements and actions like puppets? If that's the case, wouldn't it be better for me to leave them alone without letting them know?"

It doesn't seem like there's any part of your day where you're not thinking about how to follow up with the world of Genshin Impact. In fact, it's gotten so bad for you that some of your friends have noticed your change in mood and asked if anything was wrong.

Knowing that this situation is not only unheard of but also impossible to comprehend for anyone, you simply told them that you were dealing with personal issues, which honestly isn't that far from the truth.

Eventually, you began to worry if some of the people in Teyvat would figure out a way to reach you beyond the computer should you not reach back to them soon. In the past, you would've laughed at such a thought. But now that you've witnessed the impossible, you didn't want to wait around and find out.

"If I'm going to continue playing Genshin, I should at least try and accommodate their needs and wants better."

As much as you didn't want to delay your return to Genshin any further, you felt that researching all of your current playable character's needs, wants, likes, and dislikes took top priority over anything else in your life right now.

...Well...besides your needs and wants.

First, you took note of their favorite and least favorite foods. You would feel pretty bad if you kept feeding them food that wasn't their preference. Especially since characters like Lisa and Ganyu were vegetarians.

Second, you took note of everyone's talents. While you know that some characters had passive talents which gave you extra dishes when cooking or extra materials when crafting, you felt that those jobs should be left to the professionals, such as Xiangling and Albedo respectively.

"Let's see. First off, I should probably remove the people in my party with full-time jobs, as they take priority over exploring with the Traveler. So I should probably replace any Knights of Favonius, Liyue Qixing, Tri-Commission Member, etc. However, that doesn't exactly leave me with a lot of options to choose from. Although Xiangling works for Wanmin Restaurant, she's currently exploring Teyvat for ingredients. I assume accompanying the traveler would be fine with her. Bennett works for the Adventure's Guild so that works as well. But that also leaves me with a Pyro-heavy party, which may pose a problem for enemies such as Pyro slimes..."

However, the more you spent time researching, the more pessimistic and depressed you began to feel. Here you were spending all this effort trying to accommodate to all the characters you've obtained without even knowing if they gave a single thought or care in the world towards you.

"...I never really asked if they wanted to join the Traveler's adventures. ...So...maybe I should just only use the Traveler...?"

You sighed deeply. This was not gonna be good for your mental health.

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Meanwhile...

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The Traveler didn't know what to think.

On one hand, they were happy that [Y/N] was getting some much deserved rest. On top of that, they were also happy that they got to have a break from doing commissions all the time. But on the otherhand...

They were really starting to miss you.

This is the longest that they have gone without feeling your presence and they were starting to worry if they had accidentally scared you off due to that incident.

The incident that revealed Teyvat's self-awareness.

"...You're thinking about [Y/N] again, aren't you?" Paimon asked.

The Traveler chuckled sadly. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Kind of? Paimon thinks that's what everyone is thinking about."

They believe her. Zhongli, Venti, and a few others had reached out to them over the past couple of days for any news about [Y/N]. They were saddened by their expressions when they told them they had no news to give.

..."Y/N..." The Traveler sighed.

"Hmm?" Paimon hummed in thought, "What was that?"

"...To think that was their name all along. And to even think that they may be just as human as most people in Teyvat! It’s honestly kind of relieving when you think about it.

Although they weren't going to lie. At first, they saw [Y/N] as an unknown entity that possessed them to do its bidding. It was scary at first, knowing that neither them nor Paimon were able to figure out a way to interact with or avoid it. However, after solving both Mondstadt's and Liyue's respectable crises and powering them up with newfound strength, they started to see you as a sort of companion similar to Paimon.

"Yeah, even Paimon is starting to miss traveling and exploring with them."

"Is that so?" The Traveler taunted, "I thought that at one point you were trying to prove yourself as the better guide?"

"Hey! Paimon told you already that she has proved herself as the superior guide time and time again." She exclaimed as she crossed her arms.

They laughed. It felt nice to tease Paimon like this to distract them from the lack of [Y/N]'s presence, but they were starting to feel like they couldn't keep this up forever.

"Regardless, Paimon hopes that [Y/N] comes back soon. Everybody will feel a lot better once they do."

The Traveler looked up to the night sky and watched the stars flicker with light. Paimon followed their gaze and gave a sorrowful frown.

"I hope so too."

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Author Side Notes: I had an idea.

But in all seriousness, I'm flattered by all the positive comments, reblogs, and likes from the previous post. I only expected to get around 20 notes since it was my first post but somehow I've ended up at 800+ and counting? It's almost too much for me to handle lol.

As for the rest of this story, I've decided that it will likely take around six parts for me to reach its conclusion. We've got two down so far, so that makes four more to go. Of course, that's only if y'all want to read more.

#genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin self aware #sagau x reader #sagau #sagau genshin #platonic genshin x reader #platonic #gn reader #gender neutral reader

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evenmoreofadisaster · 3 months

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I’ve learned something from multiple blogs:

If people push a certain idea far enough, it may become true

Like how I noticed people saying Donnie/two would definitely be into plants

Now we finally gotten the affirmation that, that in fact is true

Idk if it’s just a coincidence or if ideas or thoughts came from us

Either I would like to say:

(For fluff)

One managed to convince draxum to make a greenhouse for two, like just a tiny one, or somewhere to put his plants idk he’d be one of those green thumbs that if you give them a dying plant it would be THRIVING next month

Somnia: Lol, uh I think we just liked that Donnie is into plants and applied it to Two. Two probably has a little space to grow some plants in his lab. I think Mikey would make a little personalized pot for Two that he can use in his little garden 💞

Teaa: Yeah! I think gardening is something Two could potentially do with Draxum, although I'm not sure when they would have the time to do that. At the very least growing plants lets Two feel like he's close to his dad. It's something they could (potentially) bond over and that's a comfort for him.

Two is very into plants, yes.

HE ALSO LOVES INSECTS !!

I keep forgetting because I've gotten so used to associating him with plants (I even forget that rip) but I remember early on we decided Two has a special fascination for bugs and insects that he got after working with plants for so long. That is something that isn't tied to Draxum so it's a really important interest to him. It's one of the very few things he has/does just for himself. I keep forgetting about it but I will try to make more content about it in the future.

He studies them and takes care of them. He fixes them up when he can and if he cannot then he'll study their anatomy. He does a lot of research into all kinds of insects and bugs.

very rough sketch I didn't feel like cleaning up

#emd au #emd asks

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luverz-exe · 2 years

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Yandere Scp 049 × Female Reincarnated S/O

Thank you for over 100 followers! I'm honored to make a bunch of you happy with my writing, and I'm excited to show you all what else is to come! This is as you can guess, the first one shot in the whole blog! It didn't sit well with me to just leave it as a few headcanons, so here we go!

I took the security part of the request and went with it, I hope you don't mind! If you have any qualms about it, I can always redo it. And FYI for anyone else who wants to request a oneshot, it might take longer than what a headcanon might be, so if it doesn't come at the expected time then I'm sorry.

I am so sorry for the wait, a lot happened in my life, and I had to deal with it. But hey, I found out what I'll write for the surprise! And while I can't say what I have In mind now, I just hope you'll enjoy it in the (hopefully) near future.

"Are you sure? It's your first week on the job, don't you think escorting a Euclid class should be saved for.. later? You know, try and get some work experience beforehand?" Your cousin asked, trying to coax you out of what they thought was a death sentence. "I mean, think about it..."

You walked down the empty halls of the foundation, checking all of your gear making sure it was in proper condition as they tried to convince you to pick an easier job for today. It was supposed to be a 6 to 12, a quick shift, for foundation standards at least, but you took a bit extra to spend a little time with your cousin who worked the shift right after yours. Now you kind of wished you hadn't, with them nagging you about your decision, about your choice for the extra shift.

But you knew they meant well, they always did. And while you admired the fact they careed about you enough to tell you when they thought you were making a bad decision, you were a grown woman who could make decisions by herself. "I've gotten training for this, it's not like they send us in blind, I know what I'm doing. Besides, it's not like I'm doing it alone, there are other trained professionals working on it too. Don't worry about me."

You could hear them mumble something about you being too stubborn, unwilling to admit that you were right. "Besides, I've done my research, we will just be moving the Euclid SCP to a testing room, then back to its cell, easy." You sigh "Look, I'll be sure to contact you about it afterwards if it's such a concern of yours, if that makes you feel better."

The two of you walked down the hall, passing containment area after containment area, as they slowly start resting their hand on your armored shoulder. "But you haven't worked here as long as I have, I know what it's like. It's scary, your first few months. Hell, It's dangerous if you aren't 100% focused and on point, you-"

You interrupt "Then it seems I'll have to be 100% focused and on point then." You smirk, your cheeky grin causing a small smile to appear on their face. "Besides, I'm older than you, haven't you heard that wisdom comes with age?" You teased, now invoking a slight chuckle from them.

"Well, be sure not to die before the wedding, I'll surely be needing that old person wisdom of yours." They winked, patting you back before making a sharp turn to the left, making their way to prepare for their shift.

You look around the hall, making sure that no one is around before shouting "Lord knows you're gonna need it!" And as you continue walking down the hall, you can hear faint laughter from them, some footsteps fading even further away, and a door closing, ensuring that you are all alone with nothing but your thoughts. You slowly gain your composure back, making sure you can do your job without a grin. Had to make a good impression to your new co-workers after all.

You sigh wistfully, before getting out your key card and continuing to walk down the hall, swiping the key card to open the door in front of you. And as you slowly walk towards the future ahead of you, you could feel the slightest bit of pride in your new life. It was going good.

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Your movements sync with your team, and you follow each step of theirs to the single second. Left foot, your eyes stare down at the floor, making sure your movements are timed to perfection as the single file line continues on. Right foot, you don't dare to let your thoughts linger until the task at hand is finished, you have a job to do. There was one person behind you, two in front, you couldn't mess up your synchronization. Left foot, you know you are safe with these experienced members of the foundation by your side. Right foot, so why is your heart beating so rapidly?

...Left foot, you slowly move your gaze from the floor to the back of the person in front of you's helmet. You were now in sync, and with that a newfound sense of ease ran past you. Left, right, left, right, they did not speed up nor did they slow down, leading to perfect synchronization of your unit. How calming for a worrying mind, left foot. You slowly felt more at ease than ever before In your job. No need to think about the danger or the risk, all you needed to do was stay in perfect synchronization with your group.

Right foot, you no longer even had to keep track in your mind, you feel into the pattern naturally. Left foot, you walked passed corridor after corridor, one containment area right after the next, you could feel the pattern slipping away from your mind. It was now an instinct. As it should be.

Your group came to a halt, still standing at attention, single file line in front of a door. Your squad's leader got out of formation from the front of the line and slowly moved towards the end of the line, where a small clipboard was. He picked it up, and slowly started reading the information about the SCP. You heard him mumble "049."

He then put it down, scanning the group still standing single file. "All of you, fall in." Quickly, you now all stood horizontally in front of him. He then continued "Procedure states we must sedate him, now do any of you know how to do that, or did they not go over it in training?" He looked around your squad, seemingly looking for any sign of yes.

The others didn't say much, and if they were anything like you, there's sweat slowly falling down their face. Still standing at attention, you didn't move your head to look at the person that took a step forward towards the squad leader. "No sir." The voice spoke, lighter than expected "They did not go over sedation. Only transferring the SCP from one place to another. They said special cases like this would be taught later on the field."

He sighed at this, and you could swear you could vaguely see a frown under the shaded visor. The voice stepped back in formation, then he began to speak once more. "Well, luckily for you all, I'll teach you." He then went to the opposite side of the hall, opening the door with a keycard, and entering, leaving your group outside.

The soft voice that spoke to the squad leader, now spoke to you. "Hello." They raised their hand for you to shake "It's nice to meet you." You shook their hand, a smile now creeping up upon your face "My name is Jenny, what's yours?" You say your name, and how glad you are to meet them as well.

"That's Rocky, he doesn't talk much" they say, pointing at the final one in the line. "Absolutely a sweetheart though, me and him have been through thick and thin, his story has touched me in a way no one else can." Even from here and the black transparent visor, you could see a big grin coming up on Rocky. "And even after all these years, he's never told me his real name."

You could see Rocky roll his eyes, Jenny quips back without even looking at him "Don't you roll your eyes at me, mister. Some of us don't like that attitude. Every time I ask, you keep changing the name you give me!" As soon as they had finished talking, Rocky approached them, pulled up his visor to show his beautiful dark eyes, and then very dramatically rolls his eyes in front of them. "Rude." Jenny mumbled, still with a smile on their face.

Rocky slowly put his visor down, and got back in formation. He poked Jenny, and she did the same. So, you mimic their movements, making sure your heels were lined up with their own as if you were in the military. That's when you heard the footsteps of your leader, getting ever so close. "Rocky also has good hearing" Jenny whispered to you, as soon as they had stopped to get back in position, the door started to open.

Out came the squad leader, who now stood in front of you "Attention!" He called out, and you all made sure you were in position. You noticed he was holding both a needle and a collar of some kind. "This," he held up the collar, chains falling down as he held it up "is a Class 3 Humanoid Restriction harness. It has a lock, which I have the key to at the moment, and these," he pointed at the chains now hanging off of the harness "are the extension restraints."

"Now, this is what you need to focus on, this is what you sedate him with." He now held up the needle, handing it to you with one hand. "Be sure to get it in his neck," he then looked at Rocky and Jenny "And you two soon after better put that on him and lock him in." He hands Jenny the key, while Rocky gets the harness. "Not very hostile, but don't put your guard down." He said, and slowly got out another keycard.

"Never put your guard down." He whispered, more to himself, and swiped the card. Access granted, the key pad said, and you heard the door unlocking. It then opened, revealing a small cell. You couldn't see who was inside, everyone was crowding at the door, but you could hear a voice. A calm, metallic sounding voice, something resembling a humans speech.

"Ah, good evening. I hope that all has gone well for a fine day, yes?" The voice asked, but to no response. "I see, tough day. Well, let's move this along shall we. Everyone is waiting for what will happen, and we mustn't dawdle." You can hear the rumbling of footsteps, hard walking shoes against the cold hard floor. "Well, come along now, we haven't got all day."

You carefully scoot your way inside, making sure that not a single drop of the sedation would fall. "Ah, good evening, how's your day been thus far?" He asked of you as approached him, preparing to make the needle go inside his skin. You couldn't mess this up, you wouldn't mess this up.

"My day's been fine, how about yours?" You responded, adding leeway for the conversation to continue with the SCP.

"Ah, what a lovely voice, so good to have a chat. I take it's your first time sedating, now isn't it?" You heard laughter coming from it "Well not to worry," they moved a bit of his cloak to get a better view of where the mask ended and where the neck would be, but it was covered in cloth. They pointed to a spot, assumed to be where its neck is "just insert it here."

You saw as the needle approached, it slowly dropped its hand, now sure you'd put it in properly. As you pumped it into him, and brought out the needle, it asked "What is your name, I do not see a name tag of any kind on you."

"Name tags are always removed before entering a SCP's cell now, basic protocol. My name is (Name)." You couldn't tell if the drug was kicking in or it was shock, but you could see SCP 049 tense up. You slowly move out of the way as Jenny and Rocky put on the harness of his, with the squad leader telling them how to properly put it on it.

You couldn't focus on the conversation however, as there was a more pressing issue in your mind. Despite you ending the conversation then and there, the SCP still stared at you with the same shocked and tense expression, its eyes scanning yours for something unknown. "What was that?" Jenny asked the creature "You're mumbling, you know that right?"

049 looked at them and mumbled an apology, but as soon as possible they looked back to you. Eyes now locking with yours. "Alright, stand up" the squad leader asked 049, and they complied. "(Name), hold one of the harnesses, you two do the same." Great, now you'd have to get closer.

As you picked up one of the harnesses, 049 started to speak, but it sounded more like mumbling to himself "Is that really you, my dear? You look so different.." his eyes never left yours.

"That doesn't knock him out, but be sure to take anything he says with a grain of salt," he said to the group "now move out, we haven't got all day!" Slowly, your group started to move. Once out the door, your group's pace quickened.

"Do you remember me?" They asked "It was such a long time ago, it must feel like a faded memory, I bet you hardly remember it at all." He got a bit close to you "But I did. I remembered." You saw Rocky tug on the harness, trying to get them away from you, and they slowly moved back closer to the middle. "How could I forget?"

"Wow, he must be really loopy, huh? Guess that drug was more effective than thought." The leader said, "Just ignore his ramblings, once he gets back to normal he'll apologize."

While the drug limited how loud and fluently they could talk, the SCP spoke once more "They treat me like an animal (Name), only referring to me as a person when it's convenient, when I'm near. But not you, no, I'm a person to you, I always have been." It sounded drunk, almost as if the drug was nothing but alcohol.

Jenny giggled at the little speech it just gave, and it only gave them a side eye, then turning back to you. "You- You look... angelic. I- my goodness. A dove for an angel. That's the best way to describe us right now, correct? None of these dark, vile, crows could be a dove, yes?"

It sounded religious, like a prayer, an erratic saying of devotion. "I missed you, I missed you being near, and by my side. I miss-"

"My apologies," you interrupt "but we've never met before. Perhaps the name is similar to someone close, but sadly, I am not. Perhaps when this drug wears off, we can have a nice civil chat, I'm sure your interviewer might allow it." You try and be nice, but you don't want to say you don't see 'him' as a person. Not yet, it will have to earn the title.

"...Yes, we can talk." They said with a cheery attitude, almost ignoring most of what you had said. "Yes, you must hear of how lonely I was when you went, oh how the night before we had danced the night away. Hand in hand. Sleeping in the same bed, but the next morning, you were not there. And while we can no longer dance the night away, perhaps we can chat it away, my dear."

How dramatic, sounds like something straight out of a play. Testing room after testing room, after a few more minutes you had finally met your destination. "No, I am not ready to go. Not yet. My dear, no..." His mumblings and his rambles made all three of you uncomfortable, but the leader just stood with a poker face.

"Don't worry, Loverboy, (Name) will still be here when you finish. Now go on and get inside." He then yelled out to the interviewers and researchers "AND SOMEONE GET THIS DRUG OUTTA HIM.*

They looked confused, one even tilted their head. "But, with all due respect, what did you give him?"

It was now his turn to be confused "What do you mean? I gave him CO-491, the standard protocol sedation tool for 049! Did you all change it, cause now he's all loopy and talking about (Name) as if she's its lover!"

He pointed at you, and you could see all heads turn "What the sedation is, is a mix of lavender and a few more chemicals to calm him down. This has been done time and time again.*

"He's fully sentient and aware of what he's saying and doing." The researcher then looked at you "Would you mind telling us what happened?"

You saw one interviewer come out with a frown "He keeps asking for a (Name). Says he won't talk unless (Name's) there." All eyes turned to you "Well are you coming?"

"... Alright." You looked through the one way window, 049 looked calm, but you couldn't tell whether it was because he was alone or because he had asked for you. The interviewer brought out their key card and swiped it, opening the door.

"Here they are 049, as requested." The interviewer said. You walked through the door, and you could feel his cold gaze on yours.

"My darling (Y/N), please, have a seat. There is much we must discuss."

#scp x reader #yandere #yandere fanfiction #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere headcanons #yandere scp #yandere scp foundation #scp fanfiction #scp 049 #scp 049 x reader

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justsigma-bsd · 17 days

Text

A Blank Page, Torn From A Book Without Name

Well, I ended up trying to put the word salad in my head into actual, coherent words after all.

First of all, everything here is just my take on things. The theories and thoughts I've had on certain things. I don't think any of it is official, but if anything of it is, in fact, confirmed to be true or false, feel free to tell me!

Some of the panels were taken from a YouTube video, which I'll link at the bottom!

TW for: Human trafficking, dehumanization

Ok, so first things first, some of this stuff I've already written down a while back for writing reasons. I found some of my old notes, and noticed that, after rereading the panels, they make more sense than I previously thought.

Let's start here: what stands out the most to me isn't that he's in the desert, not even the ticket. No, it's the simple »[...] or even who I was«

Because who, indeed, is Sigma? Sigma does not have an identity. He has no history, no nothing. Just the clothes on his back, a ticket that seems to be useless and earrings, for some reason.

Without a name, you don't have an identity and without identity you don't have a name.

Then there is this, too:

»I gave myself a name. Sigma. A man of the casino«

I don't believe he had a name upon being created. I don't think he had one for a long time, because in the same panel that he mentions giving himself a name, he also mentions the casino- which came much, much later. Sigma existed for three years by the time the series started. However, the timeline is wonky as heck.

Because how long did he stay with the traffickers? How long was he on his own after escaping? How long ago did Fyodor find him? Questions upon questions, but since I've already mentioned the lack of a name and the traffickers, let's get to my thoughts on that, specifically:

»They captured and enslaved me« along with »And once they knew that I had a skill [...]« makes me wonder: how long did it take for them to find out?

I haven't researched anything about human trafficking, but it's basically slavery, from what I've gathered through the previous things I've heard and read. And he does say so himself, too.

Sigma, three days alive, spent his early life a slave. It's confirmed that he was shackled, seeing that he is wearing them in the panels.

(As a side note, I do believe that he has scars from the shackles around his wrist. He wears a tight, wrist-long turtleneck beneath his coat, and I think it's to hide the scars. Both from others and himself.)

His first human interaction was plain horrible. Did he know and understand that? Did he understand that this wasn't normal? I don't think he knew how wrong this was at first. I don't believe that he understood it immediately. If he didn't know who he was, why would he know that being treated like this is wrong?

I believe that he realized it at some point, but not as soon as it started. I think he lived like that for a while, thinking it was normal, before getting some sort of wake-up call. Perhaps through his ability, or a fellow prisoner. Maybe both, or neither.

He must've gotten whiplash, once people genuinely looked up to him when he was the manager at Sky Casino.

I also think that he, probably, does tend to forget that being treated like that is, in fact, not normal or okay. Our upbringing leaves some sort of mark on all of us, experiences define us, give us habits and a feeling of what's normal and what isn't.

Which means that his "normal" is skewed and he expects being used rather than kindness, probably even after learning that some people are genuinely kind. I'm guessing that his mindset is, due to that, a simple "If I'm alive I'm alright".

I don't think he'd complain about being treated wrong and or left behind, or admit when he's injured. Or at the very least attempt to keep it a secret as long as possible- especially from those he sees as authority figures.

However, I also think that he was isolated, as per this panel:

Not only the text, but also the background paint a picture that causes me to believe that.

I almost skimmed past this panel while making my analysis, before pausing and taking a closer look. I thought this was in Sky Casino at first, until I looked closer and realized three things:

1, the background does not match Sky Casino in the slightest

2, he isn't wearing shoes or his current outfit, but the old clothes he had when wandering the desert

3, the shadows aren't from the light of a window, they're bars from a cell

While I did believe before that the traffickers kept him isolated from others (due to wanting to keep him unaware of the wrongness of his situation as well as to make sure he doesn't learn things he should/other prisoners finding out things that Sigma got to know by accident), this sort of put the final nail in the coffin for me.

But, at some point, he did realize that it was wrong. Perhaps he'd had a bad feeling from the start. Maybe he hated being treated like this. Who knows? Point is, he escaped. This brings us back to this page:

»No matter how kind someone seemed, they used me and then tried to kill me for knowing too much«

Sigma, after escaping the traffickers, after escaping the life of a slave, probably still didn't know much about living.

And I firmly believe that Sigma is smarter than even he himself thinks. There's just one issue: Sigma is naive (at least in my eyes), and it's not even his own fault. He simply tried his best to survive, and what was the reason the traffickers kept him around? His ability, most likely.

Problem is that his ability truly is something people would love to exploit, and it seems as if they did. Which makes me believe that he has a talent for running into murderers thinking they're nice people, only to get a not-so-nice surprise.

»The last one to use me [...]«, this specific line is the reason why I believe Sigma to have been used a lot. We don't know how often, exactly, his ability was taken advantage of. But we know the latest person who did.

Fyodor was the last one to use him, which means that, at that point, he was probably used to it. Used to being treated like a pawn, and used to people trying to kill for knowing too much. And I believe that he was, quite plainly, exhausted.

Imagine, your entire life consists of being forced to aid others with crimes, with being shackled. You don't know the difference between working for someone and being used by someone.

If you were offered what you wanted most, wouldn't you accept, too? Even if you know that you're once again being used? I mean... this time around, you gain something for it. Doesn't that make it worth the risk?

It's a gamble Sigma took... and lost.

This page involves two quotes that give me pause:

»Don't you wish for a home?«

We don't know why or how he knows what a home and a family is, but he does. And he wants it. He says it was never within his reach. But it is perfectly clear to us, while reading the Sky Casino Arc, that he wants it. He wants a home and a family.

He'd rather sacrifice his own life than see Sky Casino fall. »Home« and »Family« are, to him, more important than staying alive. Because it's something he never had, and something he clings to. Simply because he doesn't have anything else.

»I, who was originally 'nothing'[...]«

Is the second line that makes me pause. Because like previously mentioned, Sigma was a slave with no name or identity of his own. We don't know when he found out about being created by the book (and I firmly believe that he found out one way or another), but I believe he didn't see himself as a human before, and this "confirmed" it for him.

Think about it, would traffickers care about their victims? Would they treat them as human beings? Call them by their name? What about a person who has no name to begin with?

He wasn't treated like a human being in the beginning, and thus considered himself nothing. Considered his home and "family" to be worth more than hid own life.

He was literally created from nothing. His story doesn't have a beginning. He has no memories prior to being created, he had no name nor identity. How his story will end is unknown. We don't know what's written on his page.

I believe this, combined with being with the traffickers, makes him doubt his humanity. Not only because he was created through the book, but also because for the first (months? Year?) of his life, he wasn't treated like a human.

His sense of self-worth is probably down in the dumps.

»In the end I never did understand what I was born for...«

I don't think he knows the details of his existence. The content of his page, the words that brought him into existence. He doesn't know why he was born/created. He doesn't know what things were predetermined.

He doesn't know what's real and what's just writing on a page.

Sigma, in three years of being alive, went through hell. He was enslaved, his ability was taken advantage of over and over, he was used by multiple people who all ended up trying to kill him and when he thought that he finally found a home? A family? It was taken away from him.

Genuinely, he needs a plate of cookies, a hug and a ton of therapy.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my little analysis and theories? I never did something like this before, so criticism is welcome!

Here's also the link to the video from which I got the screenshots: https://youtu.be/KwsSvFYAKjA?si=R_IvH-S8GYut_hrG

#sigma bsd #bungo stray dogs sigma #bungou stray dogs #sigma character analysis #sigma's backstory #character analysis #bsd theories #fan theories #ooc post #I had this title floating around but it matched literally none of the os I planned #so I used it for this #I also don't think he knew what hugs were and had to get used to them first #Also he's a self-sacrificial idiot (affectionately)#sigma headcanons #my headcanons

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bomberqueen17 · 2 months

Text

*vibrating slightly in place*

So ok. When I was in kindergarten, my classroom was arranged so that four desks were linked together, so we were in little groups. I used to regularly vibrate my desk and the three it was attached to, with three other children in them, across several feet of floor space, until the linked desks ran into the teacher's desk, which was larger and did not move with the force of my vibrations. I was a good student, but hard to control, and markedly uneven in my ability to like. Do anything. "Well," my mom said once, upon beholding my entire spectrum of a report card, "we'd just hate to be bored."

When I graduated with my bachelor's degree, seventeen years later, my mom said "I never thought you could do it," and when I, shocked, said "what?" she said "well what with your ADHD and all," and I said "my what?" and she said "well, i never wanted to shake your confidence, and I thought once they put a label on you it'd be over, but you super have like, turbo ADHD. Why, what do you think your deal is?" She said it nicely and not in those words at all, but it was the first time I'd ever really realized that I wasn't just mildly eccentric, I did seem to actually have something wrong with me.

I've been trying to get a diagnosis ever since. I've never been able to. I had no health insurance at all for a huge chunk of my twenties, which put a damper on things. One doctor told me "you'd know if you had that" and when I was like "I... do" she was like "no i mean. you'd already be being treated." Which shows a wild and totally unwarranted optimism in our medical system, but she was a resident. The doctor overseeing her care of me suggested I try taking fish oil capsules. To "rebuild my brain tissue".

I did. It didn't help. I still buy them but mostly I use them now to get my cat to take pills.

Eventually in my 30s my doctors started sort of believing me maybe, or at least realizing they couldn't really brush me off (I have gotten... less easily-cowed as I've aged) but they were all like "oh, I can't evaluate that. You'll have to research and find a place that can do a neuropsych eval for you. Insurance doesn't cover those. So good luck. Have some antidepressants in the meantime."

I slid into my 40s, still undiagnosed. I read as many self-help books on the topic as I could find, did all the checklists I found. They all said "girl you super have like turbo ADHD." I tried meditation. I tried divination. I tried bullet journaling, which was hilarious. I tried yoga.

I actually damaged myself doing yoga and am banned from yoga, but at least I'm in physical therapy now. (Word to the wise: if you have really really flexible hip joints, don't fucking do yoga. "Usually I don't have to tell people not to get into that position," said my bemused physical therapist. "Oh," I said, blissfully bepretzeled. "It feels super good." "Mm," she said, "you've torn your labrum. Stop doing that." Now I do really, really boring stretches that don't feel nearly as good, but I also can walk without limping, so. Like. We take the good with the bad I guess.)

Anyway. My PCP in January was like "wait you didn't follow my super vague directions to go see 'the guys downstairs' and see if they can squeeze you into their eleven-month waiting period to get an evaluation that i cannot mention without saying it's several thousand dollars and your insurance surely won't cover it? you must not want this diagnosis very badly!" (At no point has anyone ever given me a phone number for 'the guys downstairs'. I still don't know what she meant by any of those directions. This PCP and I technically speak the same language but I've never understood a single thing she has told me and I don't think she understands a word I say in return, everything I tell her seems to be such a shock to her. You blame antidepressants for your weight gain? I've never heard of that. Ma'am please look up what the incredibly common side effects of antidepressants are.)

I called around but noplace both took my insurance and was accepting new patients. Finally I gave up. Then my Dude went on our insurance company's website and took over the search. He found that there's some kind of concierge service thing, which the insurance company normally charges $450/mo for but our plan includes it, because it's pretty well-hidden on the website and most people aren't ever going to find it anyway. So he said, you know what, I am going to instigate a query on this.

They took two weeks but eventually came back with a list of 13 places, most of them not remotely local. Ten of them were red X's, disqualified for varying reasons-- one because the phone number didn't work, another because it's a seven-hour drive away and doesn't do telehealth. One was in New Jersey. None of them were the local places I had already called.

Two of them were valid, but the insurance wouldn't cover the evaluation for various reasons.

One of them was fully covered, the insurance company said. So I went there.

Their website said "no you're not we can't see you". But Dude was like, call them on the phone. Surely, surely, the concierge service couldn't have lied??? Bet, I said, and called them and left a message, and said to him, if they call me back I will eat a hat.

But they did. They called me back. "Our insurance checker widget is down," they said. "But we do take your insurance! We can see you. We just don't know how much it will cost."

Ominous.

But. They could see me later in the week, via a telehealth appointment.

So I signed up.

The appointment was this morning. I turned up. Their insurance checker thingy still wasn't working so they couldn't be sure how much the appointment would cost me. I at this point don't care, and gave them my HSA credit card, and said do what you will.

I waited 45 minutes and then texted the number they'd texted me from with the confirmation, and a moment later the guy showed up. "Whoops," he said, "that system isn't working quite right either!"

He talked to me for like. Three minutes, and was like "yeah that sounds. Pretty textbook. I'm going to prescribe you stimulants." He then proceeded to take a very basic medical history, and I recognized all the questions because I have researched stimulant medication for ADHD so much. And he was like "We're going to start with Adderall, check at your pharmacy in like an hour." And then he gave me extremely useful and detailed instructions on how to take it, when to take it, what side effects to worry about, what to expect, what to note down in case it might mean a problem, and how to be safe about it. (He asked me three times if I'd ever been suicidal, and it had also been in the online pre-screening. I am aware that can be a rare but very serious side effect of stimulants!)

And then I went to Rite-Aid and I now have 16 pills in my possession, and i am going to wait until tomorrow morning to start taking them, and I am already scheduled for my follow-up in 15 days.

I have absolutely no idea how much any of that is going to cost, but for the record the pills were eleven dollars.

So. I don't know why the last decade of my life has been spent being told that a comprehensive and unattainably expensive neuropsychological evaluation was my only option. Maybe this place is a disreputable pill mill or whatever. But. I am going to get to try to medicate this disorder that has warped my entire life to this point, and I am going to try to see if I can't have some more control over my life, and if it doesn't work then at least I will know, instead of on my deathbed being like "i wonder if i'd ever tried amphetamines maybe I'd have been able to finish a project ever in my life, guess we'll never know".

Which was what I was starting to genuinely think was going to happen.

Literally though why can't a primary care doctor just refer you to a psychiatrist who can then decide whether you need an assessment or whether your condition is likely to respond well to a basic diagnosis?? I get needing the whole nine yards if you're not sure what's wrong with this kid and you don't want to give them the wrong thing-- like I know misdiagnosing a bipolar sufferer with depression can give you really bad outcomes, for example-- but-- I don't know? I don't know.

I just want to be able to start and finish projects. What I'd really love is to be able to make to-do lists meaningfully, as that is an ability I did used to have and now absolutely don't. I legit cannot make a to-do list in any meaningful or useful way.

So we'll see. I'm going to keep a journal and the real test of whether the pills work is to see whether I can actually keep the journal.

But I need to find some kind of edible hat, at some point, just to keep my word.

#about the author #actually adhd

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imabeautifulbutterfly · 2 months

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Hihi~

Congrats on 450 followers! You deserve it~

May I please get Jango Fett with a f!reader with the prompts "Working together again, it's just like old times." And "Can't sleep?"

Please and thank you~

❤️ - @vodika-vibes

Thank you so much for the congratulations and for being my first request @vodika-vibes

I've never written Jango before, but I hope I did him justice after a quick research.

Love oo,

His Princess

Main Master List | Star Wars Fic Roulette

Jango watched as you took a sip of your drink. It’s been a long time since you two have worked together. In fact, the last time you did, things progressed more than he would’ve liked … who was he kidding, he wished he could have more with you. But that wasn’t going to happen. Not in this life anyway, not when everything in his life was up in the air after he lost as Mand’alor. If he had kept his title, maybe things would’ve been different, maybe he would’ve found you sooner, maybe instead of seeing you in this cantina, he would’ve seen you waking up beside him in his arms. With the sound of tiny feet running around in the early mornings. Maybe …

He stood from his seat, and promptly took the seat in front of you, “Princess, been a while.”

“That it has…” Your eyes narrowed on his visor, you wanted to be angry, you wanted to tell him to get up and walk away, but you knew you couldn’t. Not when he already possessed so much of your heart. “What brings you here?”

“A job” Jango wanted to keep it simple, straightforward. No unnecessary promises or expectations. At least he would try to keep it simple.

“And you need me for that?”

“I trust you”

That was the pinnacle of it, wasn’t it. Just those three words and you were ready to jump up and walk on to his Firespray, who cared about your heart, your feelings, or how devastated you’d be once he walked away again or dropped you off somewhere without so much as an ‘I’ll call you.’

“Well that’s the real crux of it, isn’t it?” You let out a sigh, you both knew you’d say yes. That was never going to be a doubt, but you weren’t going to give in to him that easily.

“How much?”

“10,000… but since we’re friends, you can pay me half now, half when we’re done.”

Jango rubbed his thumb and forefingers together, “Fine.”

“Now, look at that” you smiled, trying hard not to let the joy in your heart beam all the way to your lips, “working together again, it’s just like old times.”

“I’m at docking bay D-342, I’ll be leaving in two hours. I’ll have your money ready, then.”

“Docking bay D-342.” Was all you repeated, as he stood and walked out of the cantina. You sat there letting out a shuddering sigh, as you tried to keep your nerves intact. You couldn’t let yourself fall for him again, you couldn’t afford to spend two weeks in bed crying that he wouldn’t come back. You couldn’t.

You swallowed your nervousness and anxiety with a final swig of your drink.

You glanced down at the bag that held all your belongings, you don’t know why he gave you two hours, but you didn’t really need them. The irony was, you were always ready to go in case he did show up in front of you once again, now that he had … you just couldn’t move your feet to actually go after him.

You slowly walked up the ramp of his Firespray, you dropped your bag in the spot that had been ‘yours’ from way back when; at least until he felt you had gotten too close … or maybe it was that he got too close, or maybe you weren’t close enough… frankly, you didn’t want to think about that anymore. You had spent months worrying about, trying to figure out what you did wrong, finally you decided you were done thinking about it, but low and behold you’re back on the ship not even five minutes and you were already spinning.

You closed your eyes, steadying yourself, as you climbed the ladder into the cockpit, sitting beside him.

“Here” Jango passed a pouch full of credits, “your first half.”

“Thanks,” you took it without further discussion, and tucked it into your pocket. You didn’t need to count it. You trusted him just as much as he trusted you.

“You can sleep if you want” he finally stated after almost three hours of silence in the cockpit, nothing being said by either of you as you looked out the transparisteel screen at the hyperspace lane before you.

“No, thanks”

“Still, can’t sleep?”

“I can … sometimes … rarely.”

“Try now, I’m here. You’re safe.”

You turned your head to look at him, and there it was - the reason you had fallen in love with him. He was your shield, your rock, no matter what, you knew he’d be there to watch over you.

“Why …” you caught yourself before you finished your sentence, there was no point in asking, why, he left? Why, he never called? Why did he bother walking back into your life now?

“Why…” he repeated, hoping you’d finish your sentence. Hoping his Princess would ask him to stay, to never leave her again. God, how he wanted you to say it. He needed you to say it.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” You changed the question, there was no point in pulling a thread you knew wouldn’t be going anywhere.

“Making sure I have all the details I need for the job, double checking a few things. Seeing if we need to stop somewhere before we get to our destination.”

You nodded, letting out a sigh. You weren’t sure what you were expecting as an answer, but you should’ve known it would’ve been a pragmatic one. “Alright, well … I’ll try and close my eyes for an hour or two.”

“We have some time before we get there, so just sleep as much as you can.” Jango focused on the screens in front of him, he couldn’t look at you right now, because if he did, you would’ve seen the longing in his eyes, wanting you to ask him to join you. Wanting … no, needing to wrap his arms around you, to smell your hair, to feel your body pressed against his … he couldn’t look at you until he got his own feelings and desires under control. Your actions were clear, you’d be here to help him with the job, nothing more.

You stood, hesitating for a second before you climbed down, wanting to tell him you needed him to join you. But your mouth wouldn’t open, it refused to let your heart speak no matter how much you begged. You looked at the back of his head one last time, praying he’d turn around and look at you, praying he could see how much you needed him. But he never did, so you climbed down and headed to his quarters. Even if he didn’t join you, at least his bed smelled like him, and for a brief few hours you could delude yourself into thinking you belonged here.

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Tag list:

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thelreads · 2 months

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I've been taking notes on the spypocalypse so I can keep my thoughts in order and actually I ended up noticing something:

First, a lot of other slice of life sitcoms don't have character development because they need to keep the characters the same for the format. But as a result the characters can end up feeling stale because they don't develop and thus the creators fall back constantly on the same jokes. But what I like about spy x family is that the characters are slowly growing, even if that means sacrificing the jokes. Like, Endo is letting Anya slowly get better at studying and Yor slowly get better at cooking, so even though we still have jokes about how Anya is not the best at school or that Loid is a better cook than Yor, we also get to move past it so the jokes don't become old.

Second, in other manga that have serious and funny moments, I find that there isn't often a lot of crossover, character-development wise. Like, in SxF, Fiona running off to the mountains to train in tennis is a gag... And then it saves her life during the mole arc. Likewise, there's gags about Yuri being indestructible because of Yor, and then during the Yuri v. Twilight showdown he is actually really able to keep getting up.

So that probably means that the next time Twilight and Yuri go up against each other, we'll see a return of Yor-fu.

And last thing: even though there haven't been a lot of chapters that let us see it, I think Yor is definitely getting a lot more feelings for Loid. When she first moved in, Yor didn't even know if she and Loid would be sleeping in the same room. She was a bit bashful around him, but it was really only when she was super drunk that she went tomato-face mode (when Yuri told her to kiss Loid, when Loid tried to honey trap her, and then later the welcome home kiss). However, when they went to the murder ski lodge, even though she was completely sober and Anya and Bond were *right there*, she went super blushing flustered mode at the idea of sleeping in the same room as Loid. Ah, yeah, it's all coming together.

Ok for real last thing: also I think the reason why Sigmund's tutoring worked better than Yuri or Loid's is because those two focus on one thing and get through it. They're both determinators who have no problem with snapping into focus on one thing at a time. Meanwhile Anya's mind has a tendency to wander. However, look at how Sigmund deals with it: when Anya turns Yuri's "whole enchilada" into the "swole Chihuahua", Yuri tells her to forget it and go back to focusing on the grammar. But when Anya takes Sigmund's "eureka" and turns it into "eucalyptus", Sigmund encourages her ("oh, you know so much about koalas! You'll ace your biology test!" And she may not have gotten a Stella star for it, but given that her only bolt was from math, she at least passed her bio quiz). Sigmund works with her wandering train of thought while gently pushing her back to the task at hand. Anya is a force of nature who conquers all in her way; Twilight and Yuri don't stand a chance trying to fight against her head on, but Grandpa Siggy knows how to work with the Lord of Storms.

Grandpa's are great, I'm gonna be so sad when it turns out Sigmund is a founding member of the Apple Project.

Oh, I like that slow development. It's so subtle and gradual you don't really notice it until something major happens and it all clicks together.

Yor is definitely getting more feelings. Yeah, she was not as embarrassed at first because she didn't really liked Twilight the way she does now. He was a handsome man and she was bashful, but now that she does like him like that, now that she's getting aware of her own feelings, oh now the fun begins...

And Sigmund there was definitely the right choice to teach Anya, and he does manage to get in her head because he has a lot of experience on the subject, he was a teacher for years, he understands the human brain because of his work as a researcher. Also because he knows how to handle test subjects from project apple after all.

#theLreads #inbetween #SPY aftertalks #SXFC96 #ask

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amphiptere-art · 2 months

Text

So we can all agree that the Sun and Moon fandom is dying right?

There is a quiz at the end of the post.

Me myself and many others have left. Whether it is due to the rising toxicity of the show or the fans. At this point it is simply a creative backdrop. Something you take ideas off of instead of something that you enjoy and turn into a AU. And at this point if you have it as an AU. You feel as if you need to somehow say it's separated or is only based off of the good old days.

The fact that there is a difference between the good old days and what has happened is sad. I will admit I haven't been here forever. I wasn't here since the beginning. I wasn't watching the episodes upload as I watched. But I did do my best to watch every single lore post I can find. Anything that wasn't a standard gaming episode. So I can at least say that I tried to follow the story.

And to put it slightly the story has gone sour. Characters have stopped feeling right in their actions. Underlying messages have started to get toxic. Many bad guys have gotten so characterized that them being bad guys doesn't feel right. Are good characters no matter how developed they get either regress due to plot convenience. Or have died and basically reset the storyline.

The story seems stuck. There's some gems here and there but it seems like they can't figure out the next story action. And even if they do, it gets so much hate from the fandom that it struggles to continue. It feels like they continuously reset and reset to try and find a story that the fans will enjoy. It's not working unfortunately. There have been many retcons due to this. And there has also been many splits.

And this is not even mentioning the toxicity of the fandom itself at this point. That's basically split itself in two and the other will hate the other. This happened most obviously with the Moon X Solar argument. Where you either enjoy it or you don't enjoy it. It has caused a multiple splits because of differences in morals. It's just created a hostile environment between fans.

And I'm not making this post a point fingers at the whole argument. I've researched it and I know why some people believe it's okay. Whether it's because they believe solar never really wanted to be a part of the family. Or the simple understanding that by most laws, incest between adopted family members is okay. I understand that people have reasons to like it. It doesn't mean that these reasons are shared though. It doesn't mean that the moral implications of that relationship don't affect some people. And neither side is willing to come to a mutual agreement.

This is also not bringing up the fact that the whole villain versus hero argument is starting to become even more split. Sun, Moon, Lunar, Earth, Solar are both currently on the good side. While Eclipse, Blood Moon, and a couple others are still obviously on the bad guy side. But Eclipse and Blood moon have started to become more and more relatable. People can no longer look at those characters and just imagine the villainy part. Especially when the heroes decide to mock the suffering that they did to the villains in the first place.

That is my personal scare between the fandom right now. I can't look at eclipse and not deny that Moon's actions were the reason of it. I can't look at moon and justify years of abuse. Whether it was old moon or new moon at this point. I can't stand and justify treating blood moon as a villain has tested its limit. I can't deny that blood moons actions are more so based on need than actual want. And the creators forcing that idea backfired enough that they barely have him as a character anymore.

There is a split between people who want to support moon and sun with all their actions. There is a split between people who think solar should be considered a part of the family or not. There is a lack of storylines that don't have half of the community hating upon it. There is a lack of feeling an actual tug of conflict in the stories due to the villains being so understandable. There is a hostility between the fan base because of all of these.

I put out a poll a long time ago. Asking people why they basically watched the show anymore. The general consensus was they were just watching the show because they needed to. Because they felt obligated to follow the plot wherever it went. I feel like the fan base that is following the show for their own enjoyment is slowly disappearing. And this is not talking about the amount of people that have straight out left due to all the reasons above.

Whether it is the show's fault for not being able to supply the engaging store anymore that people can enjoy. Or it is the fandom for it's toxic split between the morals of adoption incest, or the feeling that the villain shouldn't be getting as much hate as they do. The show was currently dying on both sides honestly. And the only reason many are continuing to watch the show, is the hope that it will get better, and the need to supply their AUs off of it.

How many of your friends have left because of these reasons? How many of them have had the conundrum of feeling like they need to stay because leaving feels like a betrayal to others or themselves.

How many of us are only holding because of nostalgia?

It feels like nowadays people either choose to blindly follow due to an overall support or question constantly if they should. It feels as if artists that give the show their thumbnails now, are the only people that do stuff happily with it. A conspiracy part of my brain wants to say that's only because not supporting it would mean they wouldn't have there art publicly endorsed. But that's only conspiracy and no fact.

The show has lost its splendor. As of now it's really only a character backdrop to some. A list of events and ideas that you could pull and twist to fit something kinder or better. It's like as if we're using the Sun and Moon like Robin Hood. Stripping it down to the basics just so we can share our twist of the same tale. I have heard many times from people that AUs are more enjoyable right now than actual Canon. I myself have said for multiple stories that they do not follow past backup eclipses death. Which in my opinion is when the show really started to go downhill.

I'm going to ask this question again. Because I feel as if it is important for people who read this post to see it under a newer light.

I will note. If you reblog this post just to argue that it's not dying, That solar X moon isn't incest, that characters like eclipse and blood moon should be treated as the absolute villains they are, and seeking Sun and Moon are evil is dumb. I will not respond. To be honest I will not respond to many reblogs of this. I'm simply putting this information out earnestly as my opinion. I am not here to hate on the artists. I am not here to hate on your difference in opinion. I am not here to say that the show writers are dumb or money monsters. This is my opinion. And if you wish to fight it, then you are not willing to accept differencing opinion.

#the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #the lunar and earth show #lunar and earth show #monty and puppet podcast #monty and foxy show #the monty gator and foxy show #monty gator and foxy show #the monty and foxy show #tmgafs #mgafs #sams #tsams #tlaes #laes #tsams fandom #sams fandom #the sun and moon show fandom #sun and moon show fandom

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zzzzzestforlife · 12 days

Note

hi zesty :)))))

idk if you've gotten this question before, but i was wondering how you ended up studying psych while working as a software engineer. they're both super cool fields but they have very opposite vibes, imo (as someone with minimal understanding of them, lmao).

no pressure to answer and i hope you have a wonderful day, friend <3333333

-zipstidbits (i can't send asks from sideblogs ;-;)

hi zip! ☺️ i feel like i must have explained it at some point but i can't remember either 😆 okay, brace yourself for a very long response 😛

they're actually quite interconnected, at least for the kind of engineering that i enjoy. how i figured out what i enjoyed was kind of a painful process though 😅

*insert stereotypical flashback/memory effect*

Software Engineer Finds Herself Storytime

i started considering product management, user experience/user interface design, user experience/psychology research, and really anything but engineering because i felt i really sucked at it in comparison to the amazing talent of my peers and seniors. i just didn't care as much about the highly technical things that got them so fired up and after spending so much time and energy trying to make it work and make myself care, i realized i couldn't, not in the same way at least.

so i had a chat with a girl who used to be a software engineer but switched to product management and thought she was super cool and just having a blast being a total boss queen 👑 i had chats with designers who have such a good grasp of color theory (my nemesis), how the heck to use Figma (my other nemesis), and have this incredible attention to detail 🕵️‍♀️ and i had chats with engineering managers vs. technical leads, which is honestly where i should have started because it made the disconnect and therefore what i actually naturally gravitated towards really clear.

i started leading team meetings, then projects where i could influence product direction from an engineering standpoint, and decided not to switch to something else after all! (but i still want to develop my psychology knowledge to make me a better engineer, hence my degree.) the key thing is, instead of trying to be like "everyone else," i only started to care about good engineering when i leaned into what i naturally get fired up about — a good product experience for users and a good development experience for engineers.

in summary, psychology is really influential in:

good design principles — e.g. is it intuitive? convenient? (or sometimes, how do we make certain actions as unintuitive and inconvenient as possible because those actions would lead to user error)

good people management — applicable whether you're actually leading a project/team or just having a conversation or paired programming session, knowing others x knowing yourself = ✨success✨

they are kind of "opposites" still in a way, but every team needs a good balance and i've started to carve out my role/niche on my team this way ☺️ thanks for this ask, zip! hope you have a lovely day too ❤️

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108garys · 7 days

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Manny Sherman dialogue transcribed

I really enjoyed transcribing the little hope puritan dialogue a bit ago despite it being one heck of an undertaking and I've always wanted to do a similar thing on a much smaller scale(this time) so as an afternoon task I pulled up a video of the four Sherman tapes and typed out his on screen dialogue, it'll be good for writing him and better understanding his vocabulary and maybe some time around I'll do something a little more substantial like Randolph Hodgson's journal but that aside I feel Sherman's dialogue flows really well and does a great job with characterisation, can you believe there's barely more than a thousand words from him all up? Regardless I've tried to follow the in game captions on the video which can be a little hard at times due to white text on a grey background with the occasional white detail obscuring stuff but I believe I got it at least 99% accurate and beyond that I added in places in brackets that he laughed but not the uncaptioned sounds of him getting his ass kicked because I thought one added something and the other wouldn't(and here's the video I used)

youtube

(interrogation - tape 1)

Manny Sherman. Born January one. Nineteen fifty-six.

Come on, you already know all this. What do you want?

What's this?… Huh… You've been doing your research, haven't you Special Agent Munday?

What are my favorite television programs?

Describe my first pet.

What were your friends like as a child?

What is this?!

You taking a survey or you trying to learn something?

Would it kill you to be direct?

You wanted to know what inspired me? As if I wasn't an original?

Well… maybe there was one man I found myself a little fascinated by.

Henry. Howard. Holmes.

Why? Because he was numero uno.

America's first. The guy invented the trade. He set the benchmark, you know?

Learn your history, Munday. Read a book.

You think because I stuck a blade in some people and get off on it I'm not smart?

I, heh… 'allegedly'… killed 13 people before you got smart enough to find me…

(interrogation - tape 2)

…had to build my own little castle, just like Holmes did.

Most people like me do their business where their target lives. That's just asking to get caught.

Holmes had the right idea. It was all about the honeytrap.

You bring me some smokes? Like I asked?

Lucky Reds? Yes! These are like gold in here. Damn that's good. So yeah, the honey pot.

Holmes built a hotel about a mile from the World's Fair and CALLED it the World's Fair Hotel and bought ad space in the papers alongside ads for the expo.

Rubes from far and wide assumed it was the official hotel!

Ma and Pa Kettle take a train in from Nebraska, takes three days, they roll up into that joint ready to rest, get to their room… and whoops- what do ya know… Holmes had a gas pipe hidden under the bed and poisons them.

Or maybe he pulls a trap door on them.

Maybe he separates them and makes one watch through a window while he slits the other's throat.

That's the advantage of a honey pot: no shortage of targets.

That's why I picked all those houses north of the airport.

That whole neighborhood was scheduled for demolition and yet…

All those lovely realtor ladies must not have gotten the memo.

Call up as a contractor, tell them I'm flipping, have them meet me out there… and look at that… we're the only two people for miles.

The first couple times I'd wait for a plane to fly over, just to hide their screams, but…

after a while I realized they could scream as loud as they wanted.

No one was gonna hear a thing.

That's what I remember most.

Those screams.

You can try to understand why I am the way I am. You can forensic science up all the data you want.

But you'll never know… You'll never know, Munday… You'll never really know how it feels when you watch the fire burn out of somebody.

(interrogation - tape 3)

(laughter)

A whole carton this time? You trying to get on my good side or something?

Think I'll save them.

What? No questions? What's going on with you, Munday?

You seem different.

(laughter) I see that that glimmer in your eye, you little devil.

I can keep secrets, man… we all have them.

That prosecutor is trying to get numbers out of me. Know that?

Of course you know that. Numbers. They got Holmes for 27… but we know he was closer to 200, right?

Can you imagine that? I wish I'd had the time to try and beat that.

Sure they know about those nice realtor ladies… they got families after all.

But the numbers the D.A. is asking me about… I think he knows there's some people out there- rejects… misfits… the kind of people that when you see them coming you look the other way.

Does anyone notice if they go missing?

My father always told me to leave my mark on the world.

I never knew what he meant by that- not until I watched that first girl bleed out.

I call it art. That's my signature on society.

It's not murder, it's an aesthetic response to what this has world made me.

Ask people to list killers, and they'll drop five, ten on you before they can't think of any more.

Ask them to name the detectives that caught those killers- no one is going to say a damn thing.

No one knows them. No one cares.

No one makes movies about them.

No one puts their faces on t-shirts.

No one gives a shit.

(quiet chuckle)

I've left my mark on the world…

…have you?

(interrogation - tape 4)

You want to know what it means to be a killer?

You ever been to the art museum downtown?

They got this painting by a guy… forgot his name. Famous painter.

He did portraits of slaughtered cows hanging on hooks.

You take a normal person to a slaughterhouse and they will puke their guts out.

You make it into a painting and suddenly it's art.

There's no difference between the two. Not really.

Don't look at me like that. You know I'm right.

You get it. I know you get it.

You got to do something that matters. Make people feel something they've never felt before.

Shatter the illusion that any of us are really in control.

Think of the most profound thing you've ever done… the most beautiful thing you've ever created… and I promise you… it's nothing compared to watching the life bleed out of someone.

To see the fear in their eyes, to feel them pawing at you for release, to hear them pleading- begging…

That moment when someone realizes they are at their end…

That's when you feel it. That's true art.

That's what you have to be- an artist… a sculptor… an architect.

I see the gleam in your eye, Agent Munday, You're not fooling me.

Oh, look at you now, huh?

Am I going to be your first?

Well come on then- I'm right here.

This room is soundproof- you don't even have to wait for a plane to fly overhead.

There… There you are… I see you now.

Not bad… not bad at all.

Bare hands can feel good, huh?

But the blade makes for such a prettier picture.

You've got potential. Agent Munday…

If you truly want to be an artist.

@kassiekole22 @delurkr @ctrvpani @aydeenchan

@tinynightmarewoman @kindheartedgummybears @mybrainrotforreal (Know idea as ever with this character on who'd be interested in this but it was a good exercise at any rate)

#the devil in me #the dark pictures anthology #the dark pictures the devil in me #Manny Sherman #The beast of Arkansas #ramblings #supermassive games #Supermassi transcribed

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cult-of-the-placeholder · 6 months

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shamura post-narinder betrayal headcanons? a disability headcanon or two if you feel comfortable maybe. i may or may not have been projecting my own traumatic brain injury onto them oops

Oooh absolutely anon! I've had sooo many angsty thoughts about Shamura. If you have any thoughts of your own about them, I'd love to hear!!

- Their memory is very inconsistent. Some days they seem almost perfectly fine, the way they were before: clear headed and focused. Those days get more and more uncommon as time passes, and their condition varies wildly. Sometimes the brain fog gets so bad, they forget that Narinder was banished: imagine them wandering around aimlessly, calling his name, confused on why they can't find him. Going to each of their siblings, asking where in the world Nari has gotten off to

- At one point they let themselves into the underworld to search for him, thinking that perhaps Narinder had gotten himself wrapped up into another depthless research project and had simply lost track of time. It had happened before. So they went to see him and were horrified to find him in chains: rushing up to see him and asking, "Brother, what is this?! Who did this to you?! Are you alright?!" Already trying to break the chains but of course, they can't, as the chains are tied to the Bishops' life force.

- Kallamar had to cast a seal around the Temple of the Dead so Shamura couldn't get in anymore, after that. They essentially have to relive Narinder’s betrayal all over again as the younger ones told them the truth, and the sheer devastation wasn't something any of them wanted to go through again

- For awhile after their head injury, Shamura was mute. They used telepathy to communicate and preach their sermons. Speaking again took a good amount of practice, and they usually did so with Kallamar (because he's hard of hearing without his crown, it was the perfect set up to practice projection and volume)

- Shamura gets horrific splitting migraines, especially when it's time to change their bandages. Their eyes are sooo sensitive to light and the slightest sound causes awful tinnitus that they can't escape no matter how hard they try. The pain is so bad it's dizzying and disorienting, at which point they delegate the High Priest or Witness or someone else to conduct the daily sermons until they've recovered

- Their sense of taste is all messed up, and though they don't need to eat they used to really enjoy a nice hot cup of sweet camellia tea or sipping mortal blood from sacrifices, but now they just taste so wrong and different and gross. Leshy spent a few decades experimenting with growing new tea leaves to find one that tasted right to Shamura, and they're very grateful for it

- Shamura is a clairvoyant seer, but after their injury the visions slowed down, and became more fragmented. Or maybe they just can't recall all the details? It remains a mystery. They used to weave their prophecies into webs and tapestries, but now it all ends up recorded in broken riddles in blank books in their library

- They still love to read, but because of their issues with memory, they'll read the same book "for the first time" more than once, and if it's something they particularly enjoy, you can bet your ass that their siblings get to hear about it multiple times. They always nod along and ask questions and are very supportive--it's nice that, even as awful as things are now, Shamura can still find joy somewhere

- Switching gears for a second, a couple hcs that don't focus specifically on their struggles with health: the siblings don't see each other as much anymore, as with one member of their family missing nothing feels quite right. They don't get together as a group as much anymore, but Shamura makes it a point to visit their younger sibs. Their visits are usually quiet, peaceful: sometimes, they'll go sit in the gardens with Leshy or enjoy some hot stew with Heket, or help Kallamar sort through his medical library. They visit all of them at least once a year, which doesn't seem like a lot but to a god it's pretty frequently

- Narinder’s banishment really broke Shamura's heart. I hc that they had a vision of it on the day Nari was born, but refused to strike him down because they loved him so much. They still have a portrait of the two of them, hung up in their library: Leshy painted it, the two of them leaning against one another with a shared book abandoned in their laps, peacefully asleep. It's a perfect recreation of that moment, and the warmth and peace they get looking at it almost overshadows the grief of Narinder's loss

- Shamura makes offerings to an old shrine dedicated to their brother, every year on the anniversary of his banishment. Flowers, a sculpture, even the blood of a sacrifice: anything, so that Narinder knows he's still loved even if they can never be together again

- Y'know that old quote? "May these thousand winters swiftly pass I pray, I love you, I miss you, all these miles away."? That's literally Shamura and Narinder. They aren't angry with Nari, they don't hate him, they bear him no ill will: even after everything, all they feel toward their little brother is love, and a great, looming melancholy at his absence

#shamura #the bishops of the old faith #cult of the lamb #headcanons #im gonna go cry now. poor sad spider

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icallhimjoey · 2 years

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Hi! First of all, your stories are giving me so much comfort, you have no idea! And I don't know if you are accepting requests or anything, but I was on a bus home today, daydreaming as I always do, and a story idea popped up, and I don't know, maybe you are willing to give it a try to write it. Anyway...

I was listening to Moncrieff's song Warm while commuting and it made me think of a reader (won't lie, I imagined myself ehehehe) and Joe - maybe they are friends but she feels more, and maybe she finds a silver lining in everything that bothers him, encourages him and Joe is not really if his feelings are there yet, but he is definitely thinking more about her in a certain way. So, the idea is that he is so stressed out, so many things are going on, and he is being pulled apart by the industry, colleagues, people around him, journalists, and he finds himself spiralling and then one day he calls her, despite the time difference and she answers, sleepy and whatnot, and that's when he realises that she is the one.

I found that Moncrieff song so nice and I don't know, listen to it if you'd like, and if you won't write it or anything, it's okay. I just had to get it off my chest..

omg more people need to do this, this song is BEAUTIFUL hope you like what I've done with your request <3 Wordcount: 1.3K

---

Homesick

“Joe?” you answered, the thick of sleep in your voice clearly detectable over the phone.

“Hey,” Joe instantly regretted not checking what time it was in London before he called.

“My God, you better have a good excuse to call me at a quarter past six on a Friday morning.”

Earlier that evening, Joe had shut the door behind him and had let out a deep sigh. Homesick. He had really felt it then and recognized that the annoying negativity he’d been dragging around on his shoulders was a longing for home. He felt so far removed, now across the Atlantic in a city deeply impersonal to him and he wished he could will himself back into his flat in London.

London. Where he knew to find the exact spot of the bathroom light switch when he would reach for it in the dark of night. Where there were cups of strong builder’s tea just the way he liked it. Where there were after work drinks at pubs that would be filled to the brim with others who had the same idea when they walked out of their office buildings at 5. Where people responded to your “sorry” with their “sorry”. Where you were, right now.

Joe’s days in LA were complex, and his job involved many aspects he didn’t have any control over which started taking its toll on him. Especially now that he hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a few days. On long days like this one, people would almost seem to handle him like he wasn’t a human being at all. They were all smiles and kind words, but the hours he’d have to work felt inhumane. They asked a lot from him. And that’s not to forget that when Joe would eventually find himself in the comfort and silence of the rented apartment, he’d be up late reading scripts, rehearsing lines, doing self-tapes and deep diving Wikipedia pages in research of characters he would audition for later in the week.

It left him frustrated, moody and snappy, which wasn’t Joe’s default setting, and he actively disliked this version of himself. It didn’t help that the days had started piling together and he’d let it build without mentioning it to anyone. He knew he had to when he’d taken a shower and het let the emotion hurt him in his throat rather than getting it out of his system by having a cry.

There only seemed one solution to his problem, besides actually cutting his trip short which he knew he couldn’t do, but he felt a little apprehensive. Should he bother you with this? You had bigger fish to fry at home – you didn’t need to listen to Joe complain about opportunities he’d been working towards for so many years. But he just wanted to hear your voice. He knew you’d at least be kind enough to make him feel better. Joe remembered how you’d celebrated his upcoming trip with him. The one he was on now. It felt entirely effusive, he’d been on many trips before for his career, but you knew this one would be different. “I know I’ve said it before, but I can feel it, Joe. I can feel it right here.” You pointed to where Joe thought your spleen was located. “I think this is where my conscience sits.” You laughed. “Trust me, you’re going to come back and not recognize this face, so let me pay for your beers tonight so you’ll at least owe me when you get back.” You’d dragged him along to a pub, pride shining out of your eyes at what Joe’s future held. Prouder of me than my own mother, Joe thought.

You and Joe had been friends for too long. You always joked that you crowbarred your way into his life and squeezed yourself in between Joe’s intrusive thoughts and insecurities. A heavy bench to perch yourself on, but your light could easily overtake that darkness within Joe’s mind. And he loved you for it, but it made meeting potential girlfriends so much more difficult, because none of them seemed to live up to what you brought him. They’d be so pretty, but then not as funny as you were. Or they’d be so funny, but they’d lack your soft care for him. Or they’d care so much, but would only listen to Joe and then not do anything to cheer him up. It was always something that didn’t feel right. You were hogging the seat on that bench in his mind that was reserved for a lover. And Joe knew it wasn’t smart, but he let you.

“Sorry,” Joe heard movement of duvet covers as you turned over in your bed. “It’s still Thursday here.” He chuckled through a wince.

A couple of seconds of silence followed, and Joe imagined you in the dark of your bedroom, tucked up in your bed with your phone pressed to your ear and your eyes still closed.

“How’s LA?” you asked, threateningly close to drifting off to sleep again.

“It’s great.” But then you heard it in Joe’s voice, he stitch of melancholy, and you forced your eyes open. Joe wasn’t doing okay.

“That bad?”

“No, really. It’s great! It’s just… it’s a lot.” Joe let his head fall back against the sofa he was sat on.

“Were you expecting it not to be?” Joe could hear the smile that played on your face. He was fine with you poking a little fun, knowing it would give way for bickering that held every potential to lighten his mood.

“You don’t really know what it’s like until you’re here. Until you’re in it.” He defended.

“You sound tired,” you observed. “Get some sleep, it’ll all feel better in the morning.” Your advice filled Joe’s chest with warmth. He knew you were right. “I’m so jealous I’m not there,” you noticed the rain hitting your bedroom windows hard. “It’s really pissing it down here at the moment.”

Joe closed his eyes. He’d love some rain right now, even if it was just to reflect his mood.

“You wouldn’t like it here. This place is heartless.” Joe didn’t exactly have the highest of expectations of LA before having visited, but the way homelessness and decay laid around the corner of the glamour and shine of Hollywood had left a bad taste in his mouth.

“You just say that because your heart’s in London.” You reasoned.

With you, Joe thought.

“How many days until you’re back?” you stifled a yawn, prompting Joe to do the same.

“Too many… like, eleven?” Joe wasn’t sure. “Maybe ten.”

And as you started getting ready to slowly ease yourself into your last day of work before the weekend, Joe started getting ready to finish his day and prepared himself for bed. It was almost as if you were there with him in LA, and simultaneously he was there with you in London.

You chatted about an issue at work as you both brushed your teeth – Joe could barely make out the words. Joe talked about an amazing restaurant he’d been to as you got dressed. The company he’d been in had ruined the experience, so next time, he said, he’d go there with you. You did your make-up as you offered Joe advice on how to find the silver linings, reminding him he was doing good things, great things for himself out there. Joe washed his face as he absorbed every bit of positivity from you that leaked through the speaker of his phone.

And when you opened the curtains in your living room, you could hear Joe close the curtains in his bedroom.

“Goodnight Joey, turn that big brain off, all right? Count to infinity if you must.”

“Have a good day at work,”

“Love you, sleep tight.” You tried your best to say it as a friend, but the butterflies in your stomach seeped through, just... slightly.

“Love you.” Joe tried his best to say it as more than a friend, hearing your butterflies and feeling his own in response.

—

The Taglisted: @kiwisa @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @xomunson @sadbitchfangirl @jssmth5 @bagelofthelord67 @nobody-000 @lluviamg06 @thatonefan-girl @kylakins88 - add yourself

#homesick #joe quinn #joseph quinn #fanfiction #requested #joe quinn x reader #joseph quinn x reader #moncrieff #warm

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uninspired--poet · 1 year

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Lena injures herself in the lab and gets a gruesome gash that needs stitches and a trip to the ER. She also bruises/sprains/twists her arm, leg, ribs, etc, something besides just needing stitches. Kara gets the call and immediately dotes on Lena when she arrives and after leaving the hospital together. Instead of worrying about herself, Lena’s thinking of better tech to invent for instances like these and what she can donate to the hospital to improve its operations. Genius CEO not thinking of herself and golden retriever (girl?)friend that’s definitely not platonic

Kara's eyes went wide and she came to a stop in the foyer of Lena's apartment. Lena didn't even look up from the glowing screen of her laptop as she tapped away at the keyboard in her kitchen. "Lena," Kara said her name softly to try not to let the worry and anxiety she'd been ridden with since they left the hospital the prior day seep into her voice. She failed miserably, if the sheepish way Lena finally looked at her was anything to go by. "I was just working on the nano sutures," Lena said quickly as she slammed her laptop shut like she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "On my way to bed." "I don't believe you," Kara grumbled, walking into the kitchen and placing the bag of food she'd brought with her down on the counter. "But I'm glad we've already gotten you agreeing to go to bed out of the way." Lena sighed and placed her laptop down on the couch as she sank back into it and into the blanket Kara had covered her in when she'd left earlier in search of dinner for them both. "I don't really think all this is necessary, Kara," Lena said with a soft laugh as she began to get up from the couch only to flop right back down. She wasn't used to the unweildly boot the doctor had fitted her with. And it was currently her worst enemy. "Right," Kara said in disbelief as she crossed the room to fix Lena's blanket. "Anyway, I got you the strawberry vinagrette kale salad because it's your favorite - not because I think it's enough food for you while you're healing." "You act as though I've been in some sort of near-death accident. Like I'm in a full body cast. It's only a couple of sutures and a brace," Lena complained half-heartedly, but she allowed Kara to dote on her, anyway. More for Kara than for herself. That's what she told herself, anyway. "It's not a brace. It's a boot. You fractured your ankle, Lena. You're lucky you didn't need surgury," Kara said as she plopped down on the opposite end of the couch with a burger in her hand. "Anyway, your suture research can wait at least a few days. I'm not exactly opposed to you making strides in helpful medical tech. I'm just opposed to you needing it." "I'm a big girl, Kara," Lena chided gently, tossing the remote in her direction. "And even the most careful of scientists is bound to have an accident at some point in their life." Kara sighed and gave up for the time being as she flipped channels until she found a half-finished movie she thought Lena might like. It wasn't long before Lena relaxed in her presence as she always did and snuck a glass in her direction. "Kara?" She asked quietly from over top of the pillow she was hugging against her chest. "Would you mind opening a bottle of wine?" "Are you still taking the painkillers?" Kara asked, but she was already getting up, anyway. "Obviously. I'm not a masochist despite what you may choose to believe." "Half a glass?" Kara asked, already willing to compromise - if only to get Lena to get a good night's rest. Half an hour later, Lena had somehow made it over - not only to Kara's side of the couch - but pressed up against her side with her head on her shoulder, fast asleep. Kara figured between the prescription and the wine, carrying her to bed would be safe enough. She figured right. Lena was safely tucked in and Kara had picked up what little Lena had left laying around so she wouldn't feel compelled to tackle it in the morniing.

#supercorp #supercorp fanfiction #prompts #wlw fanfiction

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smartycvnt · 9 months

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Hellraiser

Title: Hellraiser Pairing: Claire Novak x Reader Prompt: 3. "When I find the motherfucker who broke your heart, I'm breaking their nose." NR WC: 1106

Y/n wanted to crawl into a hole and die. She should have listened whenever Alex told her that the guy she had been talking to was nothing but a prick. Y/n had just been far too excited about a guy actually liking her. She didn't think about the possibility that he only wanted her around to fuck with before he found someone better. That on its own would have been rough for Y/n to deal with, but he had made a spectacle of embarrassing her whenever she confronted him about ghosting her. A spectacle that Y/n was certain was making its way around the small town where she had moved in with Jody at Donna's insistence.

Y/n hated Sioux Falls. She hated South Dakota as a whole. It was a dumb state full of stupid assholes who wore hunting gear out of season and smelled like cheap cigarettes and cheaper beer. If she could, Y/n would have packed her bags up and went back to live with her older sister. Donna was out hunting monsters, but Y/n could do the research part of it. She could be like the Sam to Donna's Dean, but Y/n knew that Donna would never let that happen. She had sent Y/n to live with Jody to keep Y/n away from all of the monsters and demons, even if that wasn't always the way things happened. That just happened to be the farthest removed place that Donna could think of.

"Claire don't! She probably doesn't want to talk about it." Y/n could hear Alex's voice as Claire stomped up the stairs. Claire wouldn't listen to Alex, she never did. At least Y/n had a bit of a warning before Claire burst through her bedroom door. Y/n knew that Claire was just trying to look out for her, but Claire only ever really did things her way. Y/n wouldn't be surprised if Claire had already paid that guy a visit to fuck with him.

"Hey birdie," Claire said softly as she shut the door behind her. Y/n was surprised by the gentle tone of voice that Claire had used. There wasn't the usual anger behind Claire's eyes like the past few times people in town had messed with Y/n. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Y/n grumbled as she curled into herself. Claire sighed as she kicked her shoes off and climbed onto the bed with Y/n. She laid behind Y/n and held her. It was always easier for Claire to be around Y/n in this way because Y/n couldn't see the sadness in her eyes. Y/n had been living with them for a few months now, and Claire's crush had only gotten worse. She was pretty sure that she loved Y/n, but Y/n obviously didn't feel the same way. She had been blowing through boyfriends around town, guys who were interested in her because Y/n was a new person, someone who didn't know what dicks they were.

"You'll probably feel better, that's what Jody always tells me," Claire muttered as she twirled a strand of Y/n's hair around on her finger. Y/n flipped onto her other side so that she was facing Claire. The moment that Claire saw tears in Y/n's eyes, a part of her vision went red. It didn't matter if Alex wanted to or not, she would be telling Claire exactly who had fucked with Y/n this time.

"I thought he liked me, but he said that he was only talking to me because I'm so easy. I hate this place, I want to leave," Y/n's voice shook like she was once again on the verge of tears. "It's not fair."

"Yeah, it's not fair, but these guys around here aren't shit. There is someone out there though who will love you like you deserve," Claire said. She wasn't sure whether or not she wanted Y/n to truly pick up on the meaning of her words. To distract herself from that, Claire did what Claire thought she could do best. "When I find the motherfucker who broke your heart, I'm breaking their nose. Fuck it, I'll trash his car too."

"Claire, don't get yourself in trouble over me, I'm not worth it," Y/n said. Claire scoffed at that as she sat up. "Look at my track record since I've gotten here, he had a point."

"No, he didn't. Every girl who will take him is easy, but the ones who won't are prudes and full of themselves. He needs to be taught a lesson, and that's exactly I'm gonna do. It's fucked up what he did to you. You're the most special person in this whole stupid town, and you deserve to be loved by someone who won't take you for granted," Claire said. Y/n watched as Claire marched straight out of her bedroom. Not even Jody could have stopped Claire from what she deemed as her mission. All any of them could do was wait for Claire to either come back home or for the call that she was in jail for the night. Neither one really seemed to come, but Y/n watched as Claire slowly shuffled back into the house hours past curfew.

"Where have you been all night?" Y/n asked. There was a teasing tone in her voice, the same that Claire had used whenever she caught Y/n sneaking back in on multiple occasions.

"Righting some wrongs," Claire answered. Y/n was about to ask another question when she felt Claire moved towards her and grab her by the hips. Y/n let out a small squeak as her back hit the wall. Claire was a bit shorter than Y/n, but in that moment, Claire practically towered over her. Y/n swallowed as her eyes darted down to Claire's lips. Claire caught Y/n's gaze and slowly began moving in for a kiss. Claire winced at the roughness of the kiss and the feeling of Y/n's lips pressing against her bruised ones, but she pressed on. Y/n finally broke the kiss as the metallic tang of blood dripped onto her tongue.

"What the hell am I going to do with you?" Y/n asked as she pulled Claire into the dining room to get cleaned up. It was obvious that Claire had gotten into a fight, and as bad as Claire looked, Y/n knew that the guy had not fared any better.

#my writing #claire novak x reader #claire novak #supernatural x reader #supernatural

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romanceandshenanigans · 9 months

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Writer Q&A Game

Thanks to @clairelsonao3 for tagging me!

1. What motivates you to write?

I'm not exactly sure tbh. It almost feels like a compulsion. There are days where I simply do not feel good in my body if I haven't written anything. Then there are others where I can't bring myself to write because I'm too tired or too distracted from life. Honestly the second I get a clear head and enough time to myself, I'll start writing.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

This isn't from my WIP, but from a fanfic I wrote a while ago. I want to try to find a way to incorporate it into something. Not sure where though.

“I know this seems like it’s coming out of nowhere,” he said, “but promise it’s not. I’ve had a long time to think about it. A few years, actually. I guess, I just didn’t realize how deep I was in it until about five minutes ago.”

She kept silent, but the simple fact she hadn’t told him to get out gave him the confidence to keep going. .

“I meant it when I said I’m crazy about you. I like that you take your sugar with a drop of coffee. I like how you sing to yourself when you’re happy. I like that you never seem to get cold. I like that you never lose your head under fire, but still need me to get rid of spiders. I like that you can laugh at yourself. I like that you can laugh at me. Hell, I like that you’re perfectly willing to slap my face if the situation calls for it.

I like so many things about you Liz, and that’s just the stuff I found out on accident. I can only imagine the stuff I’d learn if I started loving you on purpose."

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

I really do enjoy writing Finn. The boy just makes my smile.

Close second is another OC which I wrote for fanfic who I want to save and put someplace else, Lucy. She's my softest girl who has a lot of love to give. Might figure out a way to put her in this regency setting somewhere, but who knows.

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

The first draft spree. The moment when you get an idea and you have write it down as quickly as possible. It's rough and definitely will need some editing, but that rush cannot be topped. It just feels satisfying to exorcise even the smallest of scenes out of my body.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Dialogue, hands down. It's at least the part I've gotten the most compliments on.

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

I've only just started to dip my toe in, but I really do love answering asks. I like seeing other writer's process and knowing I'm not alone. It's just fun!

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

I've been using Scrivener and it's really helped me keep everything organized. I have a very conspiracy board way of drafting, so having all my random snippets in one place really helps.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

Not sure world building is my strong suit for this current WIP. I suppose I'm enjoying expanding the world of the theatre, but I admittedly need to do more research.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Write anyway. It doesn't have to be the scene that's giving you trouble. It doesn't even have to be for the piece you're trying to focus on, just don't get out of the habit of writing. Once you lose that momentum, it takes a long time to get it back.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

Gotta give a shout out to @clairelsonao3 for being so welcoming in my introduction to the writeblr community. And @janec23, for being one of the few specifically romance writers to reach out.

But I really can't begin to thank all the people who have followed me from my fanfic blog over to this one. It really means so much to know people are interested in reading anything I put out there.

@flapjacques, @jo-harrington, @can-of-pringles, @handahbear, @auroramagpie, @justanothersadperson93, @sad-cat-hours, @ghostface001, @theowlwhocameback, @mattmurdocksscars, @roruna, @everything-intertwined, @sweetjedi, @arcanerazil, @vibratingbonesbis, @delirious0pandemonium, @llovelykenobi, @geek-girl7, @mixedupanddown

Know that I love and appreciate you all.

I'm also going to leave this an OPEN tag to anyone who wants to do this, and especially invite everyone who I have tagged above. (and

#tag game #writeblr #wip: untitled regency romance #writeblr asks #about the author #writeblr tag game

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