#as part of a response to this bc again. i genuinely think some people mean well but just aren’t quite there yet.

[holllandtrash]

6 to 1 | lando norris (part 10)

pairing: lando norris x leclerc!reader part 10 in the 6 to 1 series (read part 1 here)

lando's up for your challenge and you seem to forget he's a lot smarter than people give him credit for

word count: 6.5k tags/warnings: this is not soft this is pure smut with some plot, go read part 9 if you missed it bc it was literally published 2 hours ago

2

It finally clicked for Lando what you meant when you turned around.

This may have been his game but there were no rules as to what you could or couldn’t do in his attempts to move further up your list. All he could do was watch as Carlos pulled you away from the bar, back to a booth with a table this time.

You waited until you were seated and had taken a sip of your drink before bringing up what was mentioned before.

“Can you explain something to me?” You asked, resting your elbow on the table to put your chin in your hand. Your top was low cut and Carlos wasn’t at all subtle when his gaze momentarily dropped. 

“I can try,” his hand found your thigh again, but this time it was under the table. He slowly dragged his fingers up and down your bare skin and you had to remind yourself that you quite literally asked for this. 

Sure, you and Carlos were naturally a little flirty on any given day, but he was taking it a step further now that he had permission to. 

“What did you mean earlier?” You glanced down at your drink. “About leaving the drivers speechless?”

A faint breath of laughter passed through his lips. He scratched his jaw as he spoke, “Does that really need explaining? Isn’t your ego already big enough?”

Unimpressed with his response, your expression fell flat. Carlos laughed again, giving your leg a squeeze.

“Come on, Y/N. Don’t say you haven’t noticed half of the drivers paying you a little extra attention. I mean, what does Pierre call you?”

“Little Leclerc?” You guessed.

“No, that’s Lando’s nickname for you,” Carlos peered across the club towards where Lando still stood by the bar. He must have been watching because Carlos dipped his head closer to yours before continuing on. You admired the commitment to the bit. “Pierre calls you the Paddock Princess. Pretty sure Yuki calls you bijin-san-”

“Bijin-san?” You repeated, this being the first you heard of it. “What does that mean?”

“Miss. Beautiful, I think, in Japanese. I might be wrong, but it’s something along those lines,” Carlos explained. “Danny loved having you around. Even Max loses his train of thought when you walk by and he's been with Kelly for years. Regardless, Y/N, you have a presence in the paddock. You’re not just a sight for sore eyes, you’re a breath of fresh air, especially during a busy weekend. We love having you at the races, we all love you and-” he paused, you caught the way his jaw tightened. The hold he had on your leg seemed to loosen. “...honestly, there was this sort of unspoken rule that you were off limits because of Charles but it seems like Lando’s the only one brave enough to break that rule.”

This was genuinely all news to you. Every time you attended a race, your attention was on Charles. It was only recently that you started looking at Lando a little differently, but you had no idea that other drivers turned their heads when you walked down the paddock. 

Carlos included.

There were never any romantic feelings between you and Carlos, or so you thought. But the way he was looking at you now told you otherwise. He was thinking about how he missed his chance, how you were with Lando now. 

You had been oblivious to all of it.

And you kissed him. 

Which was incredibly disrespectful now that you thought about it. If you had known Carlos might have had feelings for you, you wouldn’t have crossed that line. You didn’t think about the damage it might have caused, like a potential strain in your relationship now that you were with Lando. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, but Carlos’ smile was an assurance that you didn’t need to apologise for anything. 

“Don’t be,” he said. “Lando makes you happy, that’s all any of us want for you.”

“No, but I shouldn’t have kissed you,” you admitted. The guilt was sitting in the pit of your stomach as you glanced at his hand on you before looking up again. “And I shouldn’t have asked for your help tonight, I’m sorry, Carlos. This was a bad idea. I don’t- I don’t want to lead you on.”

You shuffled away from him but Carlos was quick to grab your hand to stop you from leaving the booth. 

“You’re not leading me on,” Carlos stated firmly. He placed his hand under your chin to ensure your eyes were on him. The calluses on his fingers were rough but his touch itself was soft. “I know you’re with Lando, we all know at this point, but we’re still friends, Y/N. And as your friend, I don’t mind helping you make Lando squirm a little bit.”

“Are you sure?” You sucked in a sharp breath. “I don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position.”

“The only one who’s uncomfortable right now is Lando.”

You finally looked across the club as Carlos dropped his hand to your leg once more. Lando was watching you intensely, eyebrows pinched together as he was clearly coming up with a plan of his own. Your gaze narrowed as you offered him a sort of half smile, one that challenged him to try and keep up.

 “He is going to hate me after tonight,” Carlos laughed, reaching for his drink to take a sip. 

“He knows it’s just a game,” you told Carlos. “He’s just mad it’s no longer a one-player game.”

“So what’s the plan?” 

You pulled your eyes off the very distressed Brit to look at Carlos again. He was up for anything, and you didn’t want to use his potential feelings for you to your advantage, but he was the one offering. 

“I need you to tell me if I cross a line,” you demanded. That had to be clear before you went any further.

“You won’t-”

“But if I do, Carlos, you have to tell me.”

With a reluctant sigh, Carlos nodded. You waited a second to see if he had anything else to add to this agreement, but he stayed quiet. When you looked down at the drinks, Carlos didn’t need any verbal instruction to finish what was left. You both grabbed hold of your glasses and downed the rest of your drunks. 

You slammed your empty glass on the table and grabbed hold of his wrist, practically pulling him out of the booth.

“Dance with me,” you said, not giving him any other option.

You dragged Carlos to the dance floor, but even then, you doubt it would have taken much coercion even if he didn’t want to accompany you. You had just placed your arms over his shoulders when he abruptly spun you around and pulled your hips back against him. 

The one drink you had wasn’t flowing through your bloodstream yet, but you didn’t need the liquid courage to let the music move you. The pulsating beat was enough for you to find a rhythm against Carlos on the crowded dance floor.

You let your head fall back against his shoulder as you dragged your hand upwards, linking it around his neck. Your fingers became tangled through his hair as his own hands explored the curves of your body. 

There was something so euphoric about dancing in a club. Stranger or not, the way your body melted in perfect harmony with someone else's was intimate, it was exhilarating, it was hot. Carlos held you tight against him, really taking your ‘pretend I’m someone you want to bring home’ instructions to another level. 

“He’s looking,” Carlos said, voice rough. as you sensually rubbed your backside over his jeans. 

Your eyes fluttered open for a second, just enough to see Lando gripping his drink so tight you wouldn’t have been surprised if it shattered in his grasp. A cunning smirk traced your lips as you sent a wink in his direction. 

And then he took off. He left the glass on the bartop. You followed him with your eyes as much as you could but Lando soon became lost in the crowd of club goers. 

You panicked for a second. Did you take it too far? 

Carlos sensed your sudden hesitation and he spun you back around to face him, his hand moving to cup your face. This time when his thumb traced over your lips, you knew it was no accident. He was still putting on a show, even if Lando wasn’t watching.

“Charles would kill us both if he saw us right now,” he said, his hand spreading across your back to hold you against his chest. You could feel his heartbeat, you could feel each breath he took hit your face. You were both aware that your brother would go into cardiac arrest if he was an unfortunate witness to the way you two danced. 

But Charles wasn’t around. 

And you had no idea where Lando was either.

“I’m thinking Lando might kill us now too,” you laughed. It was easy to convince yourself this was just a game, that you were just messing with Lando, but you had no idea what was actually going through his head. 

Carlos was a few inches taller than you, so he was able to spot Lando easily as he worked his way through the crowd. When you noticed his face twist in confusion you turned around as well and stood on your toes, trying to find him but having no luck.

He slid his hand around your waist very protectively, as you used him for balance, trying to crane your neck even more. You both had stopped dancing at this point, now just trying to make sense of what Lando was doing.

“What is he…” Carlos spoke your thoughts when you finally found Lando, making his way towards the DJ booth. The security guard happily let him past the ropes and both you and Carlos watched as Lando walked up the steps and introduced himself to the DJ. He then leaned in to speak, only to glance your way immediately after.

“This can’t be good,” you averted your attention to Carlos now.

Lando noticed you staring and he raised his hand, waving at you with the most taunting smirk you’d ever seen in your life. 

It was a few seconds later when Tove Lo’s voice faded out, but no new song followed. A chorus of complaints was heard as people turned to the booth but the DJ was quick to grab the mic and bring it to his lips.

“We’ve got a few guests here tonight!” The DJ shouted and the crowd cheered when those who were not drunk enough yet realised that the F1 driver himself was standing up on the booth. “Lando Norris is no stranger to the DJ table but everyone, please give it up for Carlos Sainz!” 

And then the spotlight was on you.

Well, more specifically, Carlos, but there was no space between your bodies and you were suddenly blinded by the bright pink light shining down from above. Carlos’ grip on you tightened, just for your safety, but this was not a crowd that would bombard them for pictures or autographs. These were Monte Carlo locals for the most part, and probably used to running into a driver every now and again.

That didn’t mean you weren’t getting unwanted attention. 

Lando grabbed the mic from the DJ and his voice rang through all of the speakers, “Who wants to hear the Smooth Operators’ DJ-ing debut?” He held his hand out in the direction of Carlos and the club went wild.

You were both suddenly being pushed towards the stairs of the booth, even though Carlos, very loudly, tried to protest and explain that he had absolutely no interest in pretending to be a DJ for the night. This was not a crowd he could say no to.

Arrogance was painted all over Lando’s face as you and Carlos finally reached the base of the stairs. He patted the DJ on the back as the security lifted the rope again. He eyed Carlos’ up challengingly as he stepped down.

“They’re calling for you, mate,” Lando told him, clearly proud of himself for coming up with this idea. “You can’t let them down.”

Carlos looked between you and Lando before ultimately shrugging his shoulders and giving in. He’d be booed out of here if he turned around and didn’t at least try to DJ. Lando knew this. Lando knew Carlos was a people pleaser, this was the only way to get him away from you.

You tried to follow Carlos up the booth, wanting to ignore Lando and this bullshit move he just pulled but Lando’s hand found your wrist and he pulled you into his chest as soon as he stepped off the stairs. 

“You’re the worst, you realise that, right?” You breathed out, your chest rising against his. 

You really did try to keep the smile off your face, but you had to admit, this bullshit move was actually kind of smart. 

“You said I had to work for your attention,” Lando repeated your instructions back to him, lifting his hand to push a few strands of hair behind your ear. His fingers trailed down your jaw as he kept your face upwards, eyes focused on him. “But getting everyone else's attention on Carlos is a lot easier.”

“That’s cheating.”

“That’s working smarter, not harder.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to turn your head so you couldn’t see the way the corner of your lips curled upwards, but Lando’s grip on your jaw only tightened as he pulled your face to his. His lips met yours with a frantic passion, not caring who in the club might have been watching. All he cared about was making you remember who you came here with. 

And who you were undoubtedly about to leave with. 

You ran your fingers through the hair on the back of his scalp, tugging on the strands to get a reaction out of him. A groan emitted from the back of his throat and Lando had to remind himself that iPhones were a thing and if you didn’t stop soon, someone would catch you on camera. 

“We have two options,” Lando muttered against your lips. He dropped his hand to the stair railing behind you, essentially blocking you in. 

He lowered his head to your ear, pressing the softest kiss to the spot on your neck that had your knees going weak. 

“We either go back to my place because it’s only a few blocks away,” Lando suggested, his fingers sliding further into your hair. The grip he had as he twisted the strands around his fingers had you inhaling a sharp breath, anticipating the second option. Even in the dark club, you could see his devious grin. “Or…we stay here and you can keep pretending you like Carlos more than me. Choice is yours.”

It was an easy decision.

All it took was one look and Lando was pulling you outside and towards one of the many waiting cars that lined the streets of Monte Carlo on Fridays and Saturdays. He opened the door for you, he always did. His chivalrous habits weren’t disappearing, even if you were both counting down the minutes until you pulled up to Lando’s flat.

You had spent maybe fifteen minutes at the nightclub. Just long enough for you to have a singular drink. You weren’t even sure if Lando finished his. It was safe to say that neither of you could blame the alcohol for the sudden wave of desperation. 

When Lando climbed into the backseat of the cab next to you, it took all of his strength to not devour you right there right now. He had to settle with keeping his hand on your leg, loving how easy it was to push the hem of your skirt up with just his thumb.

You grabbed his wrist as you clenched your legs together, stopping him before he got any ideas, “This is not the plane ride 2.0.”

“Oh please,” Lando rolled his eyes as he raised his other hand to your jaw. His thumb traced over the curve of your lips, “You loved that plane ride.”

Love was not the word you would have used. You wanted to murder him and straddle him at the same time and to make matters worse, you couldn’t even do anything when you returned to your flat because he had to leave so suddenly. You had practically been waiting all week, longer even, for this moment and god help you, it was not going to start in the backseat of a cab.

That’s why Lando was patient. He had to be with you, he wanted to be. He slowly worked his way up your driver ranking list with the ulterior motive of working his way into your life. He knew you would never allow yourself to be so vulnerable with him if there weren’t any feelings involved, but there were. 

On both ends. You liked him so much it hurt. And Lando had been waiting for this. Waiting for you to open your eyes and see what was right in front of you all along. You weren’t just friends, you would never go back to being just friends. 

You were so much more and you didn’t care about the risks anymore. You just wanted him.

Lando hadn’t lied when he said his place was only a few blocks away, but you didn’t get a chance to ask for a tour of the layout when he opened the door for you. Lando helped you take your heels off but then a squeal passed through your teeth when he suddenly swooped up and carried you down the hall towards the bedroom.

“I thought people only did this when they got married,” you teased, smiling up at him. It was illuminating, even in the dark. 

And he laughed, “Little Leclerc, are you proposing to me?”

“Considering the fact you haven’t even asked me to be your girlfriend yet-” the rest of that sentence was cut off when Lando tossed you onto the bed, your back colliding with the duvet, your hair fanned out around you.

You pushed yourself up on your elbows and tilted your head slightly as Lando turned on the lamp in the corner. You watched as he reached for the hem of his shirt when he turned around, pulling it off and tossing it on the floor somewhere. 

When his eyes met yours, Lando had to take a second. 

He wanted to bottle up this moment forever. Tuck it away and keep it safe, or possibly live in it for the rest of his life if he could. 

You, on the edge of his bed, staring up at him with those bright eyes and long lashes. Your lips a light shade of pink, almost matching the blush on your cheeks. There was no way of telling if it was makeup or just you reacting to the way he was looking at you.

And you tried to keep eye contact, you really did. But he was standing in front of you shirtless and you had never been able to really appreciate just how toned he was until right now. You had to stop yourself from reaching forward and dragging your hands over the defined muscles that made up his abdomen. 

Lando finally knelt on the bed, his hand going to the exposed nape of your neck, fingertips grazing the creases of your skin as he gently pushed you back down so your head hit the mattress. Your gaze darted all over his face, unsure where to look as your smile started to grow. 

“What?” He asked, voice lower than usual. But he noticed your expression and he wanted to know what was on your mind.

You cupped his face lightly, your fingers twisting through the short curls on the side of his head as a soft exhale passed through your lips.

And you could have said what you were thinking. You could have told him that you were so happy it scared you. You could have said that you made the right decision, leaving the club. You could have said a lot of things that would have earned a smile in return.

But you still had a playful side, and Lando saw it as soon as your stare narrowed the slightest bit. He almost regretted asking. 

“I still think you’re third on my list,” you murmured, your words followed by the cutest laugh he had ever heard. He couldn’t even bring himself to roll his eyes in response. 

“You don’t mean that,” Lando decided. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth against the curve of your throat. Your breath hitched in your throat when he trailed his lips upwards, “You barely lasted fifteen minutes with Carlos before I had to come save you.”

“Save me?” You repeated, but your laughter was caught off when Lando kissed the spot on your neck right below your earlobe. You shifted beneath him, legs clenched together. Lando caught the way you hummed in pleasure, just from his soft kiss alone.

You might not have needed saving but you definitely needed him. 

He hovered his face over yours. There was less than an inch between you and all it took was that smirk from Lando for you to connect your lips once again. It was desperate, the way your mouths danced together, you were both craving each other.

“Lando,” you pulled back slightly.

Of course, concern took over. The last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable, especially after your conversation that took place the morning after he picked you up from the wedding.

Before he could say anything that might steer this in any other direction, your hand roamed up his body before wrapping it around his shoulders.

“I’m on the pill,” you told him. “And I know I’m clean, I just need to throw that out there before-”

He captured your lips again, swallowing the rest of your words. He coaxes your head back down to the pillow and you revel in the way his hands grab hold of your legs, pushing the hem of your skirt further up. 

You kissed him like you’d never get the chance to again as you tangled your fingers through his hair. It was easy to blame the eagerness for the way you pulled a bit too hard, but the low whimper, almost like a beg, that came out of him was sex to your ears. 

“Hair pulling,” you taunt, he could feel you smirk against his lips. “You’re into that?”

“Very much so,” Lando breathed out, no shame in admitting it. He nibbled on your lower lip, tugging on it gently before reconnecting them in another breathless kiss. His hand trailed down your body until he found the hem of your constricting top. You mumbled something about just taking it off and Lando listened. Pulling back so he could rip it from your torso.

And you weren’t wearing a bra either so Lando swore under his breath as he cupped your breast. It didn’t take him long to find the daisy tattoo you kept hidden and he softly traced his fingers over it. 

“Cute,” Lando whispered. It was a simple design, delicate even. Lando didn’t let himself think about how another driver had already seen it because that didn’t matter. You were with him now.

Before you could react, your breath hitched in surprise when he suddenly sat up on his heels and reached for the waistband of your skirt. He pulled it off of you with ease and just like your shirt, it became discarded somewhere on the floor.

Lando parted your legs, resting his knee between them, but before he could rid the last bit of material off your body, he dropped his face to yours again to press his lips to yours in a kiss that quite literally took the air out of your lungs. His fingers gripped the bare skin of your hip, toying with the elastic of your underwear.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this,” Lando murmured, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips and then slowly working his way down, leaving a trail of warm, open mouth kisses along your throat, your collarbone, between the curve of your breasts, everywhere that was causing a fire to light within you.

He pressed his lips to your naval as he slowly bent your knees and raised your hips off the bed to pull the thin fabric off. 

When he dipped his head between your legs, his hot breath on your core had you automatically pulling your legs together. Lando chuckled at your reaction, loving that he hadn’t even touched you yet and he could get this type of response from you.

His fingers teased the slit of your folds that had only been growing wetter with each passing second. The sensitivity of it all made you squirm, but Lando didn’t keep his hand there for long. 

A breathy wine escaped from the back of your throat when Lando pressed his lips to your thigh. His teeth left marks on your skin as he worked his way up all along the inside of your leg. You wouldn’t have complained if you woke up tomorrow to an array of purple bruises on your thigh in the imprints of his lips.

When Lando finally reaches your centre, you're flooded with a heavy wave of bliss cascading through you. He's intentionally slow as he slots his tongue against the bud of your clit, wanting to feel you squirm. 

You drop your hand to his hair. Knowing that he liked it only encouraged you to pull and direct him further between your legs. 

Lando’s grip on your thighs tightens as his tongue moves to your folds. You attempt to muffle your desperate pleas for him by biting the inside of your cheek so hard until you taste blood. You can feel your nerves standing on their ends from the hair on the back of your neck all the way down to your swollen clit. 

Eventually it becomes too hard to stay quiet.

“God, Lando,” you’re falling apart from just his tongue alone and he knows it. He loves it. His chuckle against you sent a vibration right to your core. 

His nose brushes against your clit and your hips buck against his face. Your grip on his hair tightens and Lando uses that as incitement to speed up, working his tongue in and out of you with such tenacity like he was a drowning man and was searching for the air to save him between your folds.

The moan that escapes you is angelic when Lando inserts a two of his fingers deep inside you, curling them upwards. Your legs shake involuntarily in response and Lando just had to lift his head up to see your face twist in pleasure. It’s a sight he wants permanently seared into his mind, one that he wants to see everyday. One that he wished he could have seen sooner.

He thinks you're beautiful but all you can think about is how close you are to coming undone from just his fingers and tongue. 

And you didn’t want that. You wanted this to last longer. You wanted to feel every inch of him inside you before ultimately falling apart. 

“Lando,” his name blends nicely with a quiet moan. “Y- you need to stop, I don’t want to cum yet.”

Yet, you say. As if you don’t have faith he could bring you to an orgasm more than once. Lando is almost offended at your train of thought and he just dives in deeper. Disregarding your plea to stop because, let's be real, you don’t actually want him to stop. 

He closed his eyes and savoured the sweet taste of you. With his tongue working alongside his fingers, it doesn’t take long until he feels your muscles tighten around him. Your legs clench on either side of his head, you’re tugging on his hair so hard it has to hurt but Lando doesn’t seem to mind.

There’s a jolt to all of your senses when you cum. A vivacious rumble rolls through your body. Your legs twitch as your eyes screw shut and Lando laps up every drop of you. You’re intoxicating, is what it is and this is easily something he could get used to.

You pull him up to your face, connecting your lips with his in a lazy kiss. 

“I told you to stop,” your eyes flutter open to meet his. Even after all that, the only way to describe his stare is hungry. Lando isn’t anywhere near done with you. “I didn’t want to cum yet.”

Lando laughed, “When have I ever listened to you?”

He had a point there.

He backed away from you to pull his bottoms off, adding to the mess of clothes on the floor. You propped yourself up on your elbows when he reached the waistband of his briefs. When he finally removed the constricting material, your jaw fell slack. 

“Should I be offended?” Lando asked, crawling back on the bed. “You thought I’d be smaller?”

There was no right answer. You just stayed quiet, taking his jaw delicately in your hand as he positioned himself above you. 

Lando nodded towards the floor, “I can just put my clothes back on if you’re disappointed then-”

“Oh shut up,” you rolled your eyes but Lando couldn’t help but grin. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“No?” Lando, grips the underside of your leg again, pulling you further down the mattress so you couldn’t rely on the headboard for any support. “What do you want me to do, then?”

You pull his face down to yours, but refrain from kissing him. Your lips barely brush over his, “I want you to fuck me, Lando.”

He should have guessed you weren’t one to beg. You were always blunt, straightforward in all the ways that made him forget how to tease you. And if he was being honest, this was maybe the one time he didn’t want to be playful with you. He wanted to see you fall apart again, he wanted to hear his name pass through your lips combined with strangled moans.

Lando pinned you down, licking a stripe from your collarbone up to your jaw as he grips your ass tightly. He starts to nibble on your earlobe and your back arches off the bed, feeling the tip of his cock tease your folds.

“I want you,” you say again, breathlessly. Lando melts at the sound of your voice but he doesn’t let him deter him from the way your body is reacting to his touch. 

You can feel yourself throbbing as Lando takes your face in his hand, his thumb tugging down your bottom lip before slowly sliding it past your teeth. 

“You want me to go slow?” He asks. He doesn’t think that’s what you want, but he still has to be sure.

You swirl your tongue around the tip of his thumb as you shake your head. The cocky arrogance in his expression is unmissable as he removes his thumb and kisses you once more. You try to kiss him back but the moment he enters you, you need a second to catch your breath.

Lando really didn’t want to tease you, but he had to go slow to start off with. Your hands move to his back, already he can feel the imprint of your nails in his skin. He drops his forehead to yours, holding back a groan himself as your walls tighten around him.

And then something in his snaps. He bends your knees upwards as your fingers rake over the crevices in his back. You lift your hips up as he pulls out and thrusts into you once, and then twice and already he’s found a rhythm that’s making you see stars.

“Oh fuck,” he mutters, your name falling from his lips as he drops his face to the crook of your neck. His words are caught off when he attaches his lips to your skin, as if pounding into you wasn’t enough, he wanted you to feel him everywhere.

Your shallow breaths are uneven and erratic as he continues, losing control bit by bit as he goes on. Lando knows exactly where to put his hands on your body, he knows to swallow your moans with his mouth, he knows that you clenching around him is a feeling he could drown in.

You whimper when he suddenly props himself and moves backwards, keeping his body perpendicular to your core. His grip on your hips is rough, maybe a little too rough but you’re not one to complain. You’ve seen his hands, you know the strength he carries, you knew what you were getting yourself into when you realised you were starting to grow feelings for the Formula 1 driver. 

Lando finds his rhythm again, staring down at you, at the way your eyes gloss over with each deep thrust until he feels your legs tremble in his grasp. He slows, but doesn’t stop.

“You okay?” He asks, his chest heaving. 

It was sweet that he cared but you didn’t want to be able to walk tomorrow. You didn’t want him to stop, not now, not when it felt this good. 

“Keep going,” you urgered, adding a quiet, “Please,” at the end because you just knew Lando hearing you beg would send him into another world. He listens to you, surprisingly and you could have sworn his next rough thrust could have broken you.

And then he pulls out, despite what you were previously asking for and it leaves you pouting. 

“Lando-”

“‘Wanna pace myself,” he tells you. You can see his neck glisten with sweat. “You feel so fucking good.”

You lift your body to his to wrap your arm around his neck, pulling him back down. The kiss you share is furious and driven by lust and desire and he really did want to take his time, but you’re impossible to resist. With the way your body melts against his, the way your mouths move in sync, it's natural, it's euphoric.

You pulled back, swallowing as your eyes met his, “Either fuck me or I’m going back to that club-”

Lando didn’t let you finish whatever bullshit line you were going to say. You didn’t mean it, you just needed to light fire under him. The last thing you wanted was for him to pace himself, to hold back, and he didn’t. 

He rams his cock into you again before you could take back your words, fucking you much harder now than before. 

Your strangled moans curl out of your throat as the feeling of him deep inside you has you squeezing your eyes shut. Your body falls limp against the mattress as you attempt to hold yourself against him. One of his arms rests on the pillow next to your head and his fingers twist through your hair. 

The gesture would have been sweet if he wasn’t pounding into you like there was no tomorrow. Instead, Lando uses the grip on your hair to bring your attention back to him. Your eyes flutter open and you get lost in this moment.

You can feel how tense his muscles are from holding back and you realise he doesn’t want to cum until you do. 

But the way his cock stretches you out has you giving in underneath him. He touches the deepest parts of you like he belongs there, like he was meant to be there. His thumb traces along your jaw and his gentle touch contrasting against his hips slapping against yours leaves you whimpering. He nearly loses it himself at the sound you just made.

“Lando I’m so close,” you whispered. Thank God.

He tries to smile, it gets lost against your mouth as he kisses you. “I want you to cum for me,” he mutters against your lips. 

Your orgasm hits you hard. You were a fucking idiot for thinking he couldn’t make you cum again because your body is shaking and he feels all of it. He feels your walls clench around him as you grip his hair and call out his name through a string of desperate breaths and expletives and it makes him come undone with you.

Lando’s buried himself deep inside of you. Something between a grunt and a moan escapes his lips as his cock twitches against your walls and it makes you want to stay in this moment forever. Your limbs are tangled together, your bodies are sticking with sweat and your breaths are in sync, but if you thought about it, the two of you had been in sync this whole time.

A minute passes, maybe two, where you don’t say anything. You don’t need to say anything.

Lando kissed your cheek and then your other cheek and when your nose scrunched up he kissed your forehead. You shifted uncomfortably when he slid out of you, but it was when you couldn’t stop yourself from reaching for his hand as he climbed out of bed did it hit you that there was no going back now.

That was the most vulnerable, most intimate you could have been with someone, someone that you didn’t want to be vulnerable with. You should have felt sick, you should have been panicking about what was to follow but instead you just wanted him back in bed with you. You wanted to stay in this bubble you had created.

You knew you couldn’t, though. When he came back, briefs now on and an oversized shirt in his hands for you, you knew that this moment was too good to last.

But you didn’t let yourself think about it. About the rest of the world, the people in your lives, the media. Lando crawled back into bed next to you once you put his shirt on and you faced each other. Your hand rested along his cheek and he turned slightly to kiss the inside of your palm.

“I had a no dating drivers rule,” you whispered. Lando laughed in response, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “I hate that you made me break it.”

“Sorry about that.”

“No you’re not.”

“No I’m not,” he quickly agreed, licking his lips. “I’m also not sorry about kicking Carlos to third on your list.”

You rolled your eyes, but there was no arguing with him. Not after the stunt he pulled in the club, not after finally being intimate. Lando had successfully worked his way up from sixth to second. 

But there was still one more driver to go.

And it wasn’t about competition anymore, not with Charles. Lando had to approach this one from a different angle. He couldn’t compete against your brother, he knew how important family was to you. 

The last thing Lando wanted was to draw a line between you and Charles and he wasn't going to do that.

He just had to win him over.

masterlist here

taglist: @moneymasnn@thotd-f1 @masonspulisic @mcmuppet@f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63 @alilstressyandlotdepressy @themisric @happydazzz123 @moonxblossom @norrisleclercf1 @scarlettisconfused @sbgal @e-lisa-bettan @harrysdimple05 @ophcelia @alesainz @fandomxs1 @majx00 @sbgal @mehrmonga @themockingjayreader @f1mockingjay @topguncultleader @lclrnelliluvs @moonxblossom @dr3lover @andrewgarfields-girlfriend @tsarinablogs @noescapricho-essentimiento @xqueenslytherinx if i missed someone im so sorry

#lando norris #lando norris au #lando norris instagram edit #lando norris social media au #lando norris fic #f1 requests #f1 #f1 fic #formula 1 #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #holllandtrash

[madaqueue]

conversations about love

synopsis: as a psychology researcher, your job is to understand the most complex human emotion: love

pairing: choso kamo x gn!reader

a/n: i am...not...doing....good ....anyways here's some sad fluff i wrote in 30 minutes bc i am tormented !

“what does love mean to you?”

your voice is clear as the sound echoes across the room, the question one you had grown accustomed to asking. over the past year you’ve posed it more times than you could count, now a routine part of your research work, striving to better understand the psychology of human emotion. as participant after participant entered your office you always began the interview the same, letting them take the lead on defining one of the most complex feelings the soul can experience.

your current participant, a man named choso kamo, sits across from you, his leg bouncing nervously as his shoes hit the dark green carpet of the interview room. his gaze shifts from yours down to his lap, absentmindedly picking at his nails while the question hangs in the air.

“i think,” he takes in an uneven breath, “i think love means sacrifice.”

tilting your head slightly you write his response in your notebook, hiding any reaction you may have, a skill you’ve been forced to develop as you’ve been working in this field. hearing innumerable answers to this question, choso’s evokes a pause, a novel and deeply personal confession.

“oh?” you hum, implicitly prodding for more.

your eyes are on him as he leans back into the couch, tilting his head and looking up at the ceiling, lost in thought. the sound of the overhead lights buzzing fills the space as he contemplates.

“i think love means being willing to do anything, give anything, for the people you care about,” he follows, his voice deep, soft.

another momentary silence falls between you two. “do you love anyone?”

at the question, one that is nothing more than a standard part of the interview to you, he freezes, breath catching in his throat. it was a necessary one to ask, imperative to investigate how each person views their own relationships with others, but choso nonetheless struggles to articulate a response with the weight of it. tilting his head down he finally makes eye contact with you, his dark irises deep set with tiredness.

“yes,” he states softly. “i love my brother.”

a smile tugs at the corners of your lips at the endearing sincerity. “tell me about him.”

a new steadiness enters his body, his eyes now focused on yours as a soft grin forms across his face. “his name is yuji,” he begins. “he’s a few years younger than me, and i’ve been taking care of him for a while now. he’s in highschool, and he’s gotta be the smartest kid i know.”

you can’t help but grin yourself as his adoration flows. “what do you love about him?”

his smile continues to grow, warmth encompassing his body at the opportunity to share his fondness for his brother. “he’s kind, and strong, a-and he inspires me to be better.”

“and how do you know that you love him?”

“because i would sacrifice everything for him,” he answers without a second of hesitation. glancing up from your notes you see a conviction behind his eyes, a reassurance that he completely and wholeheartedly would.

“do you think he loves you?”

again, a routine question, but something flashes across choso’s mind as he hears it - the tiniest, most hesitant, shred of doubt.

“i hope so,” he breathes truthfully.

something in you, some very human part, wants to reach out and hold him, to cradle his tenderness between your arms. instead, you offer him a smile, one he returns genuinely. you find yourself hesitating as you prepare your final question, not yet wanting your time with choso to end.

“do you think he knows that you love him?”

with a tired smile, his gaze softens. “i hope he does.”

#might do this series w some of the other boys but this shit HURTED #q writes #drabbles #choso kamo #kamo choso #choso x reader #choso x y/n #choso x you #choso kamo x reader #choso kamo x y/n #choso kamo x you #jjk #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #jjk fanfiction #jjk fic #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk drabbles #jjk spoilers #jjk leaks

[coffeenonsense]

I usually try to stay in my lane most of the time (mostly bc I am far too old for fandom drama) but what the hell, it's friday, let's put that lit degree to use:

the way people are playing morality politics with fiction is really starting to genuinely irk me and I think some of the responses to ascended astarion are a perfect example of why this type of thinking is actually hugely detrimental to one's ability to meaningfully engage with fiction and also to the future of art.

astarion is one of the most well-written complex characters I've seen in recent years bar none (and I'm clearly not alone given the explosion of his personal fandom lol) and he has a truly compelling, emotionally resonant character arc whether you ascend him or not

If you keep him a spawn, you get a deeply touching, realistic character's journey to healing and personal growth where he learns who he is after the experience of his trauma and depending on the player's choice, explores his relationship to sex, romance and intimacy

If you ascend astarion, you get an equally emotional and well-rounded character arc where he chooses the power that allows him to have the desperate freedom and safety he's wanted, but in the process eschews any hope of real healing or personal development, and again, depending on the player's choices, restarts the cycle of abuse by taking cazador's place.

These options offer vastly different paths for the character and experiences for the player, but while yes, ascended astarion is the evil ending, and yes, ascending astarion is a tragedy, and a fucking incredible one (not only do you have astarion reigniting a circle of abuse but you have the narrative weight of KNOWING he could have actually overcome his trauma...hats off to the bg3 team tbh) but that does not mean ascending astarion MAKES YOU AS THE PLAYER EVIL

Ascend astarion because you love tragic story arcs, ascend him because you want to indulge in a master/slave vampire fantasy, don't ascend him because you want a healing character journey, don't ascend him because you want a sweet romance; all of these choices carry the same moral weight for the player, which is to say, none, because they are an exploration of fiction.

I know I'm saying this to the villain fucker website but it bears repeating; just because someone wants to engage with evil, fucked up characters or content does not mean they support evil acts in their real life, and furthermore, exploring dark, taboo or tragic concepts safely is part of what fiction is for. It enables us to look at those things from a distance, work through difficult feelings and develop greater understanding of what makes our fellow humans tick — and before you get it twisted there's also no moral issue with exploring fucked up media bc you're horny or just, because. You can take it as seriously (or as sexily) as you want.

It's starting to really concern me how many people not only do not get, but are violently opposed to this concept, because equating what someone likes in fiction with their real life moral code and actions is an incredibly dangerous and let's be honest, immature way of thinking that not only stunts your ability to engage with fiction but ironically, hampers your ability to deal with complicated issues and emotions in real life.

I don't know what's driving this trend (though purity culture is certainly playing a role) but it's definitely something that's not just impacting individuals but contributing to the commercialization of art, where we get games and stories and tv shows and books that regurgitate the same safe, mass marketable plotlines and character archetypes over and over and over again so corporations can squeeze out as much profit as possible.

Anyway, remember kids: There's no such thing as thought crime, reaching for morally pure unproblematic media is directly contributing to the death of art, and this is why funding the humanities is important.

#so...yeah #idk man i have thoughts and feelings #and i love astarion so much lol #astarion #ascended astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #fandom analysis #media analysis #fiction #a personal rant because i need to vent about this and i just recalled i have a blog where i can indeed do so lol #astarion ancunin

[campgender]

Hi, my friend has a chronic illness that flares up sometimes and we've been wanting to hang out but it has gotten cancelled a couple times lately bc of her not feeling well enough on the day. I want to ask her how she feels cuz I care abt her a lot and want an update but 1, I don't want her to feel pressured or like I'm asking just to ask can we hang out now, and not bc I care abt how she's feeling (does that make sense? I may be overthinking this) and 2, I genuinely wanna know how she's doing but idk what to say if she responds with her not being better, sometimes u don't feel better and that's ok but I always want to offer comfort somehow or just convey my friendship? but I feel the same everytime and don't want to sound repetitive ?

Any thoughts?

this is really kind of you & it means so much to me that you want to support your friend & are putting so much thought into it! my response is inherently based in my own experience to an extent & everybody’s different, but a lot if not all of this is stuff i’ve heard regularly from other chronically ill people. of course, don’t say anything you don’t mean – if some of this isn’t the case for you, just adapt accordingly :)

i understand worrying about being repetitive but i think that’s totally okay to do! for one thing, it can be difficult to remember things period when you’re ill, especially during a flare, & for another, internalized + societal ableism is a hell of a force. it never hurts to have a reminder that not everyone is trying to force ableist expectations onto you + your friendship & that someone cares about you!

i think you can definitely tell your friend pretty much what you told me! like, “hey, it’s okay if you aren’t feeling up for responding but i just wanted to check on you! not trying to pressure you to hang out or anything, i just care about you & how you’re doing”

honestly the most important + supportive thing people have ever told me is that it’s okay if the answer is “bad.” i’m literally like surprised pikachu meme every time somebody offers to let me vent about having a rough time & then it helps me just to talk about it. it’s really socially unacceptable to talk about chronic pain & a lot of people get frustrated when you’re complaining about the same thing & there’s not really anything they can do, so just the opportunity to be like “yeah shit fucking sucks right now” means a lot.

obv the appropriateness of this depends on the person & their relationship to disability but most of the time i’m very like, radical acceptance / embracing / etc about the fact that i’m probably just gonna get sicker, so sometimes when i’m having a rough time emotionally & am like “what if i’m this bad for the rest of my life” my gf (who doesn’t have chronic pain / chronic illness) will say something like “then i can’t wait to be there with you ❤️” & it’s more meaningful to me than i can begin to put into words.

again everybody’s different but for me one of the biggest things is when disability stuff just… isn’t a big deal to the other person. which, it’s totally okay for you to need support from others when someone you care about is going through a hard time & when things change! but abled people are constantly horrified about like, every aspect of my life, so being able to talk casually about symptoms & somebody mirror the mood / tone i set – laugh if i’m joking, be upset about the ableism i experience & not my body itself if i’m complaining about people being weird about it, taking things as they come – is so affirming.

other things that have been helpful + meaningful for me are friends sending me notes, stickers, & art in the mail – having something tangible can make me feel more “real” & part of the world, something i struggle with due to being homebound – & peer support around medical neglect, which often just looks like talking to someone after a doctor’s appointment & them reaffirming my reality / experiences & saying i didn’t deserve to be treated that way.

oh one other change in language i’ve made over time & probably picked up from a few other ill people in my life is a sort of realistic encouragement – there’s not necessarily anything wrong with “i hope you feel better soon!” because like, i get that the message is well-intentioned, but it can be awkward & difficult to receive when you don’t know if that’s gonna happen. instead, i try to tell people something like “i hope you get a bit of relief soon” or “i hope things are a little easier tomorrow.” a 7/10 pain day may be horrifying for most people, but when you’ve had a streak of 9s, it can be a much-needed taking the edge off, & i try to make space for that breadth of experience in my language.

i’ve answered a few similar questions before so i’ll add my “asks” & “faq” tags on my chronic illness blog in the reblogs if you want to browse! much love to you & your friend and feel free to lmk if you have any other questions 💓💓

#asks #chronic illness

[jennaissantes]

homophobia issue …

first of all,,, im bisexual!! so if anyone has a problem with that, please get off my blog. i will not be tolerating homophobia of any kind.

i really, really didn’t want to have to come out in this way, bc the situation is so bad right now. i really didnt expect enhablr to be facing this kind of a problem.

when i first heard about the issue, i was thoroughly shocked. like completely.

before anything, ill let you all read the definition of homophobia.

“discrimination” “dislike against the community” this. disrespect falls in the category of homophobia as well.

now to address the issue at hand. i wasnt directly involved in this problem. some of you may even be wondering why im making a post about it.

but as a part of the lgbtq community, i think id like to speak what i feel about this.

the situation we heard about was that an enhablr writer, had written dni: lgbtq in their account, which literally anyone would be surprised or angry at, especially if you belong to the community.

OP’s friend, who had recently become my mutual, was defending OP’s actions, which made me think of unfollowing them and i wanted to unfriend them. but then i found out it involves religion.

religion is a very sensitive topic for everyone and could go wrong in multiple ways. i respect all religions and beliefs.

so i texted OP’s friend, asking about the situation at hand, in case it was a misunderstanding.

i am aware that the quran forbids acting on gay feelings. it teaches you to not accept the gay ‘Lot’. (i have done my reading on this topic so i rlly hope im not saying anything out of line. if i am, please forgive me.)

but as far as i know, and have heard from my other islamic friends, the quran also tells you to respect and love everyone, no matter what they are or identify as. respect and acceptance are two different things. islam doe not encourage lgbtq, but doesnt tell u to NOT respect people of every kind.

if what they say is correct, then being on tumblr and reading and writing fanfictions is very much considered as haram as well.

in the above conversation, i texted them wanting to hear their side of the story as well. OP’s friend constantly used the word ‘opinion’ along with ‘belief’.

now, opinion and beliefs are two different things. opinion is something that YOU FOLLOW on your own will. belief is something that your religion teaches you to follow, against your will or not. you can notice OP’s friend has used the word opinion quite a lot.

OP’s friend had received an ask and this was their response.

‘everybody has their own opinion.’

again, the word opinion is used here, which conveys to us that they’re not wanting to interact with lgbtq community on their own accord.

i tried to explain that most of us get enough hate for being a part of the lgbtq community, and seeing dni:lgbtq, doesnt make it any better.

now, about OP.

when OP was answering asks, most of their answers were very mixed up,

in the third picture, you’ll see ive highlighted a sentence.

they say THEY DONT LIKE lgbtq. usage of first person is used. “i don’t like what they’re doing” which conveys their opinion on the community.

in the first picture, they claim that if tumblr was only lgbtq people, they’d never stay. how mean is that?

second slide, ‘escaping them’ escaping us????????? what does that even mean.

there was another pic, (that i cant add rn bc tumblr has an image limit), where they said “why do people have a problem w us saying dni lgbtq but no one has a problem if people say dni homophobic?”

… are they being for real.

i genuinely dont think they understand the situation properly. they keep saying the same thing, and mixing up opinions and beliefs.

the replies under OP’s pinned post were terrible. people said things like “im so sorry. what they’re doing is so fucking messed up.” we wouldn’t call out people for no reason just like that???

extra info: OP had written a suggestive niki fic before too.

people of the lgbtq community are humans too. it doesnt make us any different from everyone. please stop treating anyone differently, we are all of the same bone. spread positivity and happiness, not this negative energy.

please feel free to dm me if you’d like to rant abt anything! im here to listen anytime ❤️

please reblog this!

tagging mutuals: @haknom @amakumos @soov @soobnny @dazed-hee @chiyuv @delcakoo @dearheemain @kimsohn @goldenhypen @wonieleles @jaeyunverse @haerinz @hanniluvi [my head is poundinggggg rn so im sorry if i forgot anyone!]

#— important #📞— user jennaissantes needs to put the phone down #enhypen #enhypen fluff

[clonerightsagenda]

Pick a favorite character for the ask thing

(Ask meme here)

Did you know in my years of doing this ask meme, no one has asked about my beloved Hera? Possibly bc I talk about her so much already. Jokes on everyone, we are doing it again

First impression

I have told this story many times, but I was white knuckling it through the whole podcast terrified that she would get her memories deleted. To be entirely fair that was a rejected season 3 concept.

Impression now

I love her! Favorite AI character of all time. Chronic pain solidarity.

Favorite moment

I have many favorite moments, but what's coming to mind now based on some of my other responses to this prompt is that Hera delivers the only "I love you" aimed at people who are physically present. Minkowski says it in a message to her husband, Eiffel says it in a recording to his daughter, but iirc Hera is the only one to say it live, and it's platonic and to the group, which I Just Think Is Neat. (Iconically aro podcast w359 strikes again.) Also the whole quote is "I love you guys, but you need to get it through your heads that what goes for you doesn't go for me" which really gets back to one of the show's points that love isn't enough. You can genuinely care for someone and want the best for them and still fuck up, still hurt them, still not fully understand what they're going through. But you still have to communicate and you still have to try.

Idea for a story

Currently working on a PGW fic where the crew swings by the Hermes on their way back to Earth to rescue that station's AI and Hera has to work through her feelings about facing someone who was in the same situation as she was but did not come out on top. Rn she is being unfair about it.

Hera’s equally on edge. “The collar program is still running, she might not have that much processing power. But be ready in case she tries something. She’d better not try anything.” “It’s not her fault, is it?” he asks, surprised by the viciousness in her tone. “I beat a collar program.” “Didn’t Dr. Maxwell help you a lot, though?” Hera doesn’t like talking about Dr. Maxwell. “I don’t care,” she says instead. “She shouldn’t have let Dr. Pryce make her hurt them. Just because she couldn’t stop Dr. Pryce from taking her crew away from her doesn’t mean she gets to take mine away from me.”

Unpopular opinion

You mean besides my post that got me vagueblogged about? Here's another one: I don't think Hera would want or enjoy a human/humanoid body. The one time she's limited to a single source of visual input, her response is "it's weird; I don't like it". She's proud of being able to see colors our skull-gelatin can't comprehend, even if she's sorry she can't share them with anyone. She enjoys being a AI mother program when she's on a functioning system like the Sol. Yes she envisions herself as present with the crew in parts of Memoria, and there's an implication she's given herself a humansona, but my interpretation of that was that she wants to be treated as one of them, and unfortunately most of the crew's approach to treating her as a person is trying to treat her like a human. She's not wrong to think they'd relate to her better if she looked like them. (Is that not the same principle the Listeners used?) Maxwell was able to meet with her on her level, but as much as the other crewmembers care about her, they don't understand Hera in the same way. Downloading her into an android body feels like an accommodation for their benefit rather than trying to find a way for her to thrive on her own terms. Smarthouse Hera forever.

(For the record when her VA was asked if Hera would like being human her response was 'she'd try it for a day to see what it's like but she wouldn't want to stay that way'. Seems reasonable to me.)

Favorite relationship

As most followers know I am very fond of her (non-romantic!!) friendship with Eiffel. They've got a lot in common! They fuck up with each other but then do better! They were both sent up there knowing they were disposable and then decide to care about each other on purpose. However most followers also know that in my last few relistens I've been thinking a lot about her overlaps with Lovelace - how they are both surveillance tools that entities use to try to hurt other people, and they both overcome that. Hera is extending non-human solidarity but she wants to be recognized as a non-human person and Lovelace would really prefer to be viewed as human, thanks. There's tension there.

Favorite headcanon

I've posted before that I think she retains some of Pryce and Eiffel's memories which has funny, sad, and interesting implications. Among these I think she kept override codes Pryce can use on AIs so she can fight that kind of thing off in the future, and something that will come up in that Hermes fic is her deciding whether she's willing to use those on someone else. Stay tuned.

#wow that got long! #ask meme #perpetual perpetual ladies night #wolf 359

[phil-lesterfan]

What are your thoughts on Squidbob tell me now

HI!!! i know you said now and it's been a few hours but we'll put it up to time zones. anyway, i was thinking about this ask and ultimately it's that quote from dan in that interview, right? "best friends, arch enemies, husbands, business partners, partners in crime, soul mates, just mates, who the fuck knows?"

obviously it's antagonistic, but on spongebob's part, it's unintentional (my knowledge is rusty, and i'm not fully caught up on spongebob, though i've seen a few squidbob moments from more recent eps) and when he does hurt squidward, he genuinely feels bad about it – when he picks up on it, at least. but, like, when squidward says spongebob has hurt his feelings or when it's really obvious, spongebob takes accountability and tries to right his wrong(s). even if that means making the situation worse, lol

AT THE SAME TIME, yes, squidward can really hurt spongebob and even enjoys seeing him hurt, but he understands when things have gone too far, and it seems to me like he doesn't just want to be in spongebob's good books for the sake of his reputation. take "fools in april" for example: squidward really hurts spongebob with his "prank" and it's a very public prank where people make clear their disapproval of his actions. of course, no one wants to be seen as the huge asshole, and squidward even says "it hurts, doesn't it?" to plankton when plankton becomes the most hated thing in bikini bottom. BUT when squidward apologises to spongebob, while he struggles, it's clear he wants to (he just physically can't) and he doesn't know everyone else is at spongebob's house. he genuinely just wants spongebob to like him again. (plus, he finds it humiliating when it's revealed other people are there – clearly, it's not about reputation)

the other obvious one is "dying for pie" where he puts spongebob's life in danger and realises he doesn't want to be responsible for spongebob's death nor does he really want spongebob to die at all.

it's also insanely cute to me that he's, like, as far as i know, the only one who calls spongebob "sponge" – i don't think i've heard any other character refer to spongebob like that . . . except maybe patrick? but i might be confusing it with a – you guessed it – squidbob scene.

also the way squidward's voice goes all soft when he calls "spongebob sponge" :') and how he's protective of spongebob too. like in "pizza delivery", when the customer is rude to spongebob and spongebob sobs, we can infer squidward KNOCKED THE GUY OUT!!!!! and he went back over to spongebob and reassured him that the customer was happy with the order and everything was ok :)

squidward also gets flustered when spongebob compliments him and spongebob likes it when squidward is having fun. i think deep down, they both genuinely care for each other, and they both want the other to be happy, they just have different ideas of happiness and aren't sure how to get them to align. there's really great potential there, and i personally love relationships like theirs where it's just so fucked and they're more prone for divorce but they keep remarrying anyway

sorry for this mostly focussing on squidward . . . spongebob is a bit more complicated to me bc he's a mix of childish and mature and you're never entirely sure when which facet will be more prominent. ultimately though i think they have the potential to balance each other out but still have a good time together (as in, they won't settle right into "BORED old married couple"). when i have more thoughts on spongebob's side of the relationship, i will let you know o7

i know this spawned from the "to be loved is to be changed" post tags, but for squidbob's part i feel i was mostly joking or i probably made a tblitbc comment while watching spongebob with my irl and i've forgotten why, LOL – let me think on it some more and let me watch more of the show, and i'll get back to you on that. :)

#oc #answered #anon #squidbob #sorry this is so long and probably an inaccurate assessment of their characters. i've thought on these things but i still always feel like #i'm just making stuff up as i go. i don't really know when i'll ever feel qualified to speak on anything other than yaoi – and i've been #into yaoi since i was a little girl (ever since i was a little girl i always knew i wanted to be a fujoshi) so. you know how it is #regardless i hope you enjoyed my response and i'm always down to talk about squidbob (and spongebob in general) with people ^_^ #thanks for the ask luv!! <3 #long post

[thesherrinfordfacility]

i won't go so far as to say they annoy me, because everyone has their own opinions, but i just CANNOT agree with any takes saying that their entire relationship has been dysfunctional or built on solely on false premises or etc. anything else in that vein. i know we've been dissecting the issues a lot to explain the breakup, but i'm going to go out on a limb and say that as a whole there's way more love than problems and there's way more good than bad. and that doesn't erase the problems or the bad or make them any less in need of fixing, i'm just saying overall the love in their relationship and the good parts of it definitely win out. plus, PLEASE cut them a bit of slack for the constraints the Heaven&Hell rigmarole put on their relationship. and i don't mean in a trauma way, i mean in a physical threat, having to do everything secretly kinda way.

further asks and response under the cut:

hi anon!!!✨ okay won't lie, the first ask made my blood pressure rocket through the ceiling ��� but you're good, thanks for coming back to clarify, i really appreciate it - bc tbh idk if i would have had the acuity to have answered this today otherwise!!!✨

i hear you - speaking more personally for a sec (i will actually address what you're saying in a mo!), i hope you don't mind, it is slightly exhausting when some read my ask responses or metas, and genuinely believe that im purposefully trying to find negativity in the story or the characters, especially crowley. im not at all; i truly just find the dozens of layers to them both (and the storyline - the ethics, philosophy, psychology!) really, really interesting, and i find it fun to examine. i don't take any joy in pointing out flaws or dysfunctions for the sake of it, but more that, for me, it makes the whole relationship so much more relatable, and compelling. here are two creatures that are literally as non-human as it can get, and they're making mistakes, or miscommunicating, or have 'issues' the same as a lot of us do? that's really comforting to me - to look at two characters that i treasure acutely, and be able to recognise the ways in which they're not perfect. their story, in that respect, suddenly doesn't feel inaccessible.

but braindump-that-you-didnt-ask-for over!!!✨

i agree that their relationship is ultimately rooted in love. i think that that love has taken in many incarnations over the course of their narrative, emerging from general attraction/fascination, to acquaintances, to uniquely-relatable-to-each-other-and-only-each-other colleagues, to friends, to best friends, to deeply-pining crushes, to being unrequited love interests, to being full-throttle in love with each other, to being each other's family and sanctuary... all of these at the same time, and some evolving and merging into others. i don't personally hold the belief that romantic love has been there since the beginning (but fully respect where people do see it that way!) but romantic love isn't the only love that aziraphale and crowley are built on.

there have been problems and misunderstandings amongst all of that, times where they possibly don't know each other as much as they like to think they do, where they've not been kind or gentle to each other, but that doesn't mean that none of it isn't all interwoven, in every fibre, with love (whatever form that takes). they may not be human, but they are navigating something uniquely human, and that isn't always going to be perfect.

add to that, just as you say, the literal threat that hangs over both of them where they're not allowed to acknowledge a single part of any of the above; to do so not only puts themselves at risk, but the other at risk moreso. that fear - that sword of damocles, as others way more poetically-minded than me have put it - is borne out of love, of concern, of respect, and friendship. it's not a question, again as you say (because i wholeheartedly agree with you!), of one loving the other more than the vice versa, and one always having to bend to the other until they break whilst the other doesn't get a look-in. the way i see it, sometimes you do have to bend to each other in relationships, friendships etc., but that's a mark of trust, respect, and love in and of itself; that you can feel that you can look to the other for support when you need it, feel comfortable in being vulnerable enough to do so, and be so deeply loved in return as to be the one to support when the other needs it themselves.

there are times in the narrative where one lets the other down, or hurts them, sure - but that doesn't mean that that's the nail in the coffin. it's not going to ruin them, or end them, or drive them apart irrevocably; it's causing/caused issues that they simply need to work to mend... and tbh, they're probably not even aware that some of those cracks are there! once again, i think it's fair to say that this happens in most relationships, and usually - usually - most problems such as the more human-like ones they're facing now (especially the ones borne out of wanting to protect one another!) are fixable with patience, communication, kindness, time, and continuous love!

i do think s3 is really going to upend this, though, and put it to that aforementioned breaking point; i think there is going to be stuff revealed which leaves each other completely bare for the other to see - no secrets, no smokescreen, no glamour - and prove to be the true test of that love. but let's face it (because it will happen); they will choose to love each other anyway. perhaps even because of what s3 will reveal. i don't think ive ever seen their love for each other as unconditional - like i said, i think such a 'condition'/test will be put to them both in s3 and turn their view of each other on its head - but their love for each other in, all its guise, is strong, deep, and profound enough that it will be what they choose every time✨

if you would like to come back off anon, that is entirely up to you and i'll leave that for you to decide - or message privately? - i don't mind!!! but again thank you for clarifying the tone, i find tone hard to read sometimes and i appreciate the follow-up asks!!!💕

#good omens #ask #i mean... general GO meta??? #idk

[syn0vial]

Oh, the wise one of the wise ones!

First of all, I want to say, that I hope you're feeling better now (you wrote, that you are worring over earthsquakes in your recent post).

It's nice to see, that you too consider Zam a literall gem among sw characters! I have three questions for you, if you don't mind :) :

Is there any more about her daughter? Beyond her name (was it Sone?)? Is she changeling too?

That's a complex question - do you think she would be proud of adult Boba (in canon/legends, doesn't matter)? What would she think of him?

What were her "deeper feelings" about Jango? By that I mean who did she really consider him? A friend? Partner in crime? Is there any part with her Pov. about him?

PS: It's my first time sending an ask, hope you are honored!

hello hello! :D thank you for your kind words and fun questions about one of my fave star wars characters; i'll do my best to answer!

sadly, if there is any more existing information about sone wesell, i haven't found it. sone was actually "introduced" not as a fully-fledged character, but as a footnote in a source book for wizards of the coast's star wars roleplaying game. it seems likely to me that descriptions of her were intentionally vague so that GMs could more easily fit her into their campaigns if they chose to feature her as an NPC. that said, given that both zam and sone's father are said to be clawdites, it is likely that sone would have been born with at least the capacity to shapeshift!

i'll be honest: i've totally imagined the conversation that would happen between zam and a grown-up boba should they ever meet. (my favorite daydream scenario is that there's a malfunctioning inter-dimensional portal that intermittently spits out people/characters from various points in canon into a massive space-station-city where they all then have to reconfigure how they relate to each other and rebuild their lives, but uh, anyway.) personally, i think that if zam met any version of (legends) boba over the age of 18, she'd just be really sad for him. for one, she's known boba since he was just 5 years old or so, so i think there'd be some inevitable sadness in finding out how much he'd suffered after her death. there's also just the shock of seeing how much that suffering transformed him, how this sweet, funny kid who loved animals and bad jokes and novels about friends going on adventures became a man whose life is so devoid of joy, connection, or compassion that his kneejerk response to genuine kindness is hostility or aversion. zam might be a bounty hunter as well, but she never lost her sense of playfulness, expressiveness, or affection, so i think it would hurt her to see boba take that path. that said, if she met boba much later in the timeline (like, post-yuuzhan vong), i think she'd feel some hope and relief seeing him starting to try for connection again!

we do actually get some of zam's PoV as it regards jango in the novel the shapeshifter strikes! i think it's pretty clear that their relationship went beyond being simply partners-in-crime (jango trusted zam to basically babysit boba, for crying out loud) and they have flirty banter in virtually every piece of media they appear together in. boba himself refers to zam as jango's friend and even considers if she might be his mom at one point (though he ultimately comes to the conclusion that this is impossible bc he's read in books that moms don't shapeshift). zam herself definitely enjoys jango's company and especially flirting with and teasing him. that said, even she is occasionally shocked or disturbed by jango's more callous moments, such as when he's willing to let a terrorist group target millions of civilians on coruscant, or when he uses a cloned child's body to throw other bounty hunters off boba's scent. my personal reading of their relationship is that she genuinely really likes and is even attracted to jango, not least because of the risk he presents (she is a thrill-seeker after all), but that she ultimately trusts him not to do anything to really hurt her. and honestly, not unreasonably! we see from their dark horse comic series that even when they're working as rivals, they do try and look out for each other and keep the other from any serious harm. so, in that sense, she misjudged him; she thought that being his friend and having this history with him would save her from being expendable in his eyes. in the shapeshifter strikes, zam even asks jango if he'd ever really kill her and when he answers quite honestly, "only if i had to," she laughs it off with a quip ("you say the sweetest things!"). so, in sum, i'd describe zam's "deeper feelings" for jango being genuine friendship, affection, and even attraction, along with an unfortunate overestimation of just how indispensable she was as his only friend. which isn't to say that she wasn't truly his friend—we get multiple indications that jango did genuinely care about her—but ultimately, that wouldn't prevent him from sacrificing her once he deemed it necessary.

#thank you for the ask! i am honored to be your first recipient <3 #zam wesell #jango fett #asks

[honestmouse20]

Okay, personal thoughts on dragons rising under the cut. Spoilers ahead!

I didn't care too much about Wildfyre going into part 2. she was cool but not really a character I was fully invested in. That is, until her and Kai went on their little quest/mission to get the dragon energy core. They were so Sweet! I loved how Kai had to be the responsible one and how Wildfyre had to learn how to thikn before she acted. They're a really good dynamic and I their relationship growing during this season felt very natrual and good!

Zane! also not one of my favorite characters. But him speaking to a broom with Pixal's photo taped to it got to me okay? I do wonder now where she is.

Mr. Frohicky (idk how to spell things, i've been up all night. give me a break lol) I did Not expect him to return after the crossroads episode back in part 1. He's actually grown on me a lot. It's still kinda weird bc the tone of this show is just a Bit different than previous Ninjago. But it's not bad and I wouldn't hate seeing more of him in the future

Lloyd. God he got so much character develepment this season but especially in part 2! From him trying to do everything on his own to upkeep the Monastary and then finally excepting help, to getting much better at teaching the new ninja. I really loved all the scenes with him an Arin and how their relationship has gone from Arin being a fanboy, to genuine respect and friendship. 10/10

Speaking of Lloyd. What on Earth was all that stuff he saw Again when he acted as the conduit again? I really hope we get more info on those vision in the next season. That's the one big mystery that they havn't really touched on

last lloyd thing, mayeb it's just the angst lover in me, but I really hope there's some kind of conequence to him acting as the conduit. Maybe it starts really draining him or maybe it just makes accessing his power a little harder. I hope they explain it or at least like, mention it.

I'm actually kinda glad they didn't go the whole route of having Nya distrust the Djinn guy who'se name i can't remember lol. It was a nice expectation subversion. Bc my first thought was that he was gonna be evil/ have heard that *she* was the one who tecnically destroyed Djinnjago. I really like that they helped him the way they did and the lesson it taught Sora

Speaking of Sora. I love her. I still fully belive that her power is creation but if it is just 'tech power' i really like how they're handling it. LIke we all Knew it was never Ryu's power she was using but the moment *she* figured that out still felt genuine and deserved because we saw her go through the process of realizing whta was holding her back. 10/10. no notes

Freaking COLE! So him and Lloyd are tied as my favorite charaters bc yee. But holy shit even tho it was 5 am when i got to his episode and i was exhausted. I sat up on the couch and just lost my shit. One, he's still so good at finding people in trouble/captured and deciding he's their protecter. I love him so much. and two. was it just me or was that whole episode so freaking queer coded it isnt funny? Like, even more so than his true potential episode back in S1.

Shipping aside, I really like how on par with his character his episodes were. Even tho they were short and I really crave more about him, they did a good job of leaving just enough questions to keep us interested while also showing us the important parts. Plys the new ability rock monster thing is cool

in that same vein. what the fuck does 'the earth is screaming' mean? hello that shits terrifying? My theory atm is that its' the realms fighting the merge bc it's like unnatural or something. but idk. i would have liked to hear more about that

Zane's car!!!! I own that set and holy fuck it did not dissapoint! At first i was kinda bummed it didn't do Actual spinjitzu, at least I don't think so. But him spinning wildy and saying 'this is adequate' or whatever, is so freaking funny! also it's super fast and looks epic. no notes lol

and Jay! we see him! I'm not really a big jay fan but I am curious what theyr'e gonna do with him next season

and finally, i Really liked all the references to past seasons/events! Even if it wasn't in your face, it was still really nice to be able to see all the pices of the past sprinkled throughout. It was also funny to see Sora being surprised Lloyd is the FSM's grandson. 10/10

If i think of more I'll make another post lol

god i need to re watch the season already

i have SO many thoughts. HOw am i supposed to go to work later and be an adult while ive got these little plastic ninja running through my head at full speed

#ninjago #ninjago spoilers #d rambles

[itsjaywalkers]

hi laurie <3 how is your health? do you feel better?

there’s another big discourse about regulus character, what is ooc for him, what is not, was he right, did he deserve redemption or did he deserve to die as villain. you know, same old conversation, but it made me curious about your vision of his character! how do you view him in canon? do you think he was more morally dark than grey or more grey than dark? tell me everything please <3

hi lovely!! my health's fine, i'm completely recovered!! it was a tough week but i survived that stupid chest infection

oooooh u know i don't care about discourse but i love how u just brought it up to . turn it into a nice lil debate and ask about my portrayal of a character <333

we obviously don't get a lot about reg in canon but i think we get enough!! a couple of what could be core traits (since what we learn of him is all from sirius pov who's . quite biased) and some of his backstory!! so yes, he's kind of a blank slate of a character, which is incredibly fun when it comes to fanfiction but also . i truly believe there's a foundation here, even if a tiny unstable one yk??

anyways, to me, regulus is quite morally grey, but i don't think . he's more dark or more grey . the lovely kat (@messrsage) wrote a very interesting post about this a while ago, they talked about how the black brothers are both morally grey, and that sirius isn't more good or regulus more bad. they move up and down the spectrum, depending on who they keep as friends, on what influences them and their environment. i think the word kat used was morally fluid?? or something along those lines. and i absolutely agree!!

i don't believe sirius was better or inherently good. i just think that they had different responses for the same trauma. that they surrounded themselves by very different kinds of ppl. neither of them is in the right or in the wrong, yk?? they're both victims!! regulus thought that . obeying and listening to their parents and doing what he was told was the best course of action and there's nothing wrong with that

sirius implies that reg wasn't . capable of thinking on his own . that he was 'soft enough to believe them' (referring to their parents) which has always made me think that . despite reg definitely believing in blood supremacy and all that bullshit, at least for a while, it wasn't because he rationalised the whole thing all by himself and thought it was True and Right and Genuine, but that walburga and orion said this was how the world worked and he didn't think of questioning it. sirius did and look where that got him, right?? and besides, those are his parents, and despite how strict and cruel they can be sometimes, they love him, regulus knows they do, so why would they lie. i think he was comfortable, in a way, in the life that his parents made for him, and if not fighting back and agreeing with everything also stopped the abuse then even better

it's like the death eater thing. i'm sure his family had a lot to do with it!! and sure, it was also implied that reg had this weird nerdy fixation with voldemort, but i don't think that means . he was bad . voldemort was such a powerful wizard, and his family, or at least part of it, supported him and chose to follow him, so why wouldn't he find him interesting?? or even worthy of admiration?? he ended up betraying him and sacrificing himself the moment he realised what voldemort actually intended to do. besides, he was a fucking kid. people tend to forget that he was literally 16 when he joined the death eaters. and idk about u, but i was a fucking idiot at 16. not awful or anything, ofc, but i still did and said a lot of shit i'm not proud of, simply bc i didn't know better. but the thing is that i wasn't expected to!! bc again, i was just a kid!! doesn't excuse any of my mistakes, but i do think it's a fact that u gotta take into account when u try to judge someone

i think regulus wasn't a hero, but he wasn't a villain either. i think he was a terrified boy trying to survive. trying to make his family proud. and by the time he finally realised his mistake, it was too late. he still tried to fix his shit, and i think that matters. does that make him a good person?? nah, not really. but i think it makes him human

on a more surface level, my regulus is . proud . stubborn . spoiled . posh . mean in a non-targeted way, it's never personal to him (or not usually) and he's not trying to hurt anyone, it's just . a defence mechanism?? part of his personality, in a way. he isn't trying to be cruel on purpose. i think he's also a curious person, but it's a part of him he tends to ignore or supress, bc his parents don't like it. i think he's a follower and that he hates being the centre of attention, but at the same time, he's jealous of the way sirius seems to have everyone's eyes on him when he enters a room. he can be petty and resentful, but he's also shy and quiet and so very soft. it's a side of him that not a lot of ppl get to see, bc it's weak, but it's very much there, and i think that's the regulus that sirius knew most of his life. the regulus that he knew (or at least wanted to believe) was still there, which probably make him speak of him in such a . gentle way?? like yes, he called him an idiot but he has no qualms about cursing the rest of his family out, and he's pretty mean to all of them (with good reason) except andromeda and regulus. to me, that means he still loved his brother, and if sirius is still capable of . caring about regulus, at least to a certain degree, without even knowing about his change of heart . well . he couldn't have been that awful

there's also quite the debate about the kreacher thing, and whether reg was actually kind-hearted enough to believe and defend elves' rights or if it was simply the fact that it was kreacher, his house elf, and nothing else. personally, i don't think it matters that much. whatever his reason was, he still decided to betray voldermort over it, and tried to do the right thing, even tho the risk was High and he didn't know if he'd make it. that's what i believe says more about his character than what his exact tipping point was

and god i'm gonna shut up now, this turned out to be so ridiculously long i just . find regulus so interesting SORRY NONNIE😭

#asks #anons #regulus black

[ytptennis]

How do you think Munch lived before? Where did he live? Where does he sleep? I wanted some details, because I'm trying to write some kind of fic and I'm not that good at it, what do you think? Where was he before Roy hired him? I wanted to write a fic without all the erotic stuff that part of the fandom does, I want something more serious, about his trajectory. So, I wanted some ideas: did he live by breaking into houses? Did he live on empty plots of land? What was he eating? What did he do on a daily basis? Where does he get cigarettes and so on? Sam said that the idea is that he doesn't carry things with him, because he's the kind of guy who when he needs to, grabs a gun, a cigarette and so on. Like the scene of him picking up the cigarette from the ground, what did he do before? What kind of jobs was he taking? Just kidnappings and murders? What do you imagine? Has he had other "Irma's"? Where did he break in and stay quietly in the person's house? Where did he sleep in the meantime? I would like some insights, I am grateful for your headcanons.

all great questions!! under the cut since my responses are kinda long:

so according to munch in the finale, he doesn't need to sleep. we can assume his curse has left him biologically frozen in time like a vampire. i think he was still able to rest & eat, but they dont actually serve any real purpose. he's not restored afterward nor would he suffer when deprived of those things. he closes his eyes, but he doesnt relax or dream. he eats, but it just disappears inside him. this makes it tricky to pinpoint why exactly he's a smoker, though. if i had to pull something out of my ass real quick, i'd say its an easy way to confirm his own existence, like how we can see our breath when its cold, or when we hold our hands close to fire. it becomes addicting to him in that sense, rather than his body needing nicotine itself. he wouldn't respond negatively to cigarettes at all, but because tobacco just generally stains anything it's in prolonged contact with, that explains why his teeth are so tarnished.

as for jobs, i genuinely think he was a drifter in every sense of the word. he has an innate need for creature comforts so i think his quests to find those things lead him to kill-or-be-killed situations. money is also a tricky topic bc idk what it'd mean to him apart from a sign that the completion of a job has been acknowledged & properly compensated. he didn't seem to care about roy's money once he acquired it. my guess is, in relation to your "irma" question as well, that he leaves money where it's most needed. he clearly gave some to her when she returned to the house with groceries.

munch might have acquired firearms by brazenly attacking organized crime circles or just stealing off of criminals. i think he'd be efficient & quick enough that the murders would just be reported as internal conflict.

i don't see him as a vigilante but i also don't think he'd just hurt people indiscriminately. he's had centuries for his hatred of the rich to fester, & he's very clearly disturbed by the deaths of innocents re: irma. i understand this is kind of a conundrum where dot is concerned, but again, it's represented through a cycle. munch maintains it by allowing himself to be employed by the powerful to secure that throwaway money. all he knows after being hired by the tillmans is that a rich man wants his wife back, whom he probably assumes is also rich, like bunny lebowski. it's only after he sees how hard dot fights back that he questions the nature of the job.

i think munch has had other "irma's", but not recently. i said this in a previous post, but i think every once in a while back in the day he'd stop by a rural family's home & offer to help them out for a bit in exchange for food & board, which he only took advantage of for a couple of days out of fear that his presence would somehow attract danger. again, this is less of a need to satisfy biological hunger & more about his hunger for companionship & family. losing that which he found in the indigenous tribes that invited him in left him very hesitant to seek it out anywhere else. fleeting moments are better than none at all. something else to dwell on is him assigning irma as his temporary "mama". from this we can infer 3 things:

he misses having a mom, & he wants someone to take care of him. obvious.

calling her his "mama" might be a way of apologizing for scaring her. awkward, yes. ineffective, yes. but the title suggests purity, hardship, and the respect owed to a mother who exhibits those things. another example of his innate connection to women.

he suggests it casually, showing he doesn't feel guilty for breaking in. this interested me for a bit since it makes him partly responsible for irma's death, but the more i thought about it, it makes sense because he is aware of his own power, power he wasn't employing to bully. in exchange for her charity, he promised to protect her. this made her death that much worse & undoubtedly stirred past trauma.

there's also the question of his sudden need for a mama. what about the dot job made him that lonely or scared? my theory is that the kin connection to dot was sparked during their "battle". he didn't know how to respond to it, especially considering this woman was briefly his victim. he figured he could seek an outlet somewhere else, but somewhere incedentally close to dot, in a house in the suburbs. his ability to "know people" must've told him that irma was not one of the suburbanites. she is ignored, her house is falling apart, etc. this is presumably why he didn't break into a more well-off house.

when he doesn't want to go through the trouble of bothering people, he'd most likely find uninhabited homes or buildings to squat in. the little hut in the beginning of episode 9 intrigued me, but nothing about it suggested it was owned by him. it might just be a shed used by ice fishers. it made me think of the one wrench & numbers used in s1 to keep warm.

as for what munch does in his spare time, there's nothing in the show to really drive me in one direction or another, so i like to think he reads. finding books without the use of a library is not uncommon (those little free libraries where ppl leave books for others to take). plus he can just steal & then leave them somewhere when he's done. i like to think reading is how he learned to speak english, even way back in his early years.

#💌 #fargo fx #ole munch

[munamania]

so right a couple of my film friends and i met last night to do wine and glee and i left and tried to catch a bus in our gross rainy cold weather and so when it finally comes im just like zoo wee mama my glasses r fogging up and all that shit. but who of course is on the bus but my one friend the main perpetrator of acting like im some flaky cunt (rant city below)

so i guess technically this wouldnt look great on my part bc i was obviously Somewhere and had been ignoring the group chat making plans but oh my GOD whatever who careessssss who Cares. so im like fucking phenomenal ok walk back Omg hi and she moves her shit so i can sit and i get settled and am like hey. and she asks what i was up to and ofc when i say anything bc this is fucking awkward shes just got this stupid smug little smile but i was just sitting there like bitch im not gonna sit here and act embarrassed for seeing my other friends so i was just like So are u guys doing x tn and shes like mhm yep are you coming and i was like well gee i dont know. sarcastic shrug. make conversation about the timing of the place for a second kinda jokin then awk silence

and so then because im a chill normal adult and am aware that shes about to go meet the group of friends and no matter what this interaction is going to be brought up and i had been planning on composing a levelheaded text but i just said Look im sorry that i ghosted you guys (and shes again smug smiling nodding next to me. girl.) i just honestly got tired of feeling like im being singled out and judged when i cant make it to something and she literally is just like Well im sorry you feel that way just u know we do try to come up w different days etc (if u like me are bad at reading between the lines this was a non apology and defense based on uh Nothing) and i was like right well ik last semester wasnt great it's just that sometimes i feel like im being shunned in the group chats when no one answers or reacts to anything i say and the other day when you said like. yk the 'could u commit' thing that felt really sort of condescending

and shes like again well im sorry u felt that way i was just trying to find another day that u could actually make it cause i wanted us all to be there so im not really sure how that came across as condescending but um yeah. and i, jackass that i am (<3) pulled out my phone and pointed and said Well u see we didnt have actual plans and in fact no one answered when i said anything abt it and yk things come up and so for me to have sent this whole nice thing and just get 'do you think youd be able to commit' in response felt a little bit needlessly mean (and i also tried to earnestly say at some point in all this that i genuinely do love and care for them and want to see them but yk this Sucks and was just bad timing)

THEN we somehow spin into her going Well i just had no idea this was even a thing until you brought it up just now i mean i wasnt even thinking abt it ive never really thought that of you etc and so then im sitting here feeling like im being gaslit in real time not to be dramatic and i felt very much like when i was in high school and people manipulated me bc i was a very easy target (its not that real but w/e) and so im like Ok be calm but dont just like let that slide cause girl be serious (prob should have but what ever) so i was like well you know i do apologize if i just couldnt tell your intent over text, but after you guys never answered me about hanging out and then the short responses like maybe u can kind of see where i felt like you were being rude (didnt say it quite that bluntly w/e)

and she pulls out the big card. the. well i just think youre being defensive. oh years and years of being the youngest and punished for um having feelings lmfao slammed me in my chest at that moment. and i calmly said Okay cool i think youre being defensive. and i lit missed my bus stop cause this driver was swerving so then i was just like Well you guys have fun maybe ill see you tonight bye. so. really feeling awesome abt the state of that. in all reality tho it's like i hung out w some friends and then went out to the gay bar w others and danced and etc and i can only imagine how much of a Thing this was for them so. if someone could win it'd be me right

(on another note at some point during this ride sams roommate requested to follow me back <3 which i had been pretending not to think abt for the last couple hours) anyway

this has been a post let me know if im being normalish

#abby talks

[letssendacountrysomecupcakes]

So I got dumped yesterday for saying I believe that transfemmes do experience male privilege pre-transition. My ex did not give me a chance to expand on that belief *at all*, just got triggered and decided I'm unsafe.

I'm going to expand those views here because I genuinely think I'm approaching the topic pretty reasonably and at this point I need to get the processing I've been doing written down.

First off, let me say that my opinion here comes EXCLUSIVELY from transfemmes I've talked to over the years as well as my own experiences with transmasc erasure. (My ex claimed that ALL of the transfemmes I know who've said that they've experienced male privilege only think that because of "internalized transmisogyny" while simultaneously refusing to engage with any of my experiences with erasure that are *specifically* things that happen bc of the learned behaviors inspired by the external factors of male privilege and socialization.)

The actual line that I have on this is that male privilege is an *external* force, not an internal one. It is entirely based in how you're perceived and how *others* interact with you based on that perception. It is based in the *societal and systematic* benefits someone receives based on the fuckin gender marker on your ID.

I absolutely do not think that that means transfemmes *interact* with male privilege in the same way as any c*s person, especially pre-transition. I do not think the *effects* of that privilege are the same and in almost every case it's going to be extremely complex and nuanced based on the individual. I *do* believe that, because that external force is applied *constantly* from a very young age, some aspects of that force can and often do come through even after transitioning.

Part of this being so upsetting for me is that it sounds like a rehashing of the "gendered socialization doesn't exist" argument that was going around here in like 2016 and is apparently resurfacing again. As far as I remember, when that argument stopped because the people who were pushing the conversation were outed as t*rfs who'd been posing as queer teens. The intent was to confuse the community and divide the younger and older trans folx.

The argument that gendered socialization doesn't exist (which, as far as I can tell, is the same argument as "transfemmes never experience male privilege) is laughably dichotomous at best and harmful at worst.

On the dichotomous end, we have someone who talks *frequently* about missing out on "being raised as a girl". If that person also does not believe in gendered socialization, they have the belief that they were also "not raised as a boy". Unless you come from a family or culture that has a third option or treats their kids the *exact* same (unlikely), you were fuckin raised in a way that was distinctly *gendered*.

That can transition to the harmful end *very* easily simply by not processing, analyzing, and questioning your learned behaviors. My ex spent the whole conversation calling me misogynistic and denying/devaluing my friends' experiences. She also very specifically made all of her points while simultaneously telling me I wasn't allowed to respond. At the point that I said, "Hey, I can't keep getting messages tangentially related to this when I'm not allowed to respond so I'm going to respond to a couple things, please keep your boundaries in any way that makes you feel safe", she immediately reengaged herself into the conversation fully, sent 3 messages - one of which was the dismissal of my friends' experiences, and blocked me.

I want to make it very clear that I put my responses under a break, specifically so she wouldn't have to read them immediately. I cannot be the one to enforce *her* boundary that *she* was repeatedly breaking. At the point that someone tells me they want a break from a conversation, I say okay and don't fucking respond until they do. I got two additional texts from her, both of which emphasized her points while continuing to disallow me from rejoining the conversation.

If that ain't the EXACT shit I've dealt with for my entire fucking life 🙄

#gender #gender stuff #transmasc perspective #transmasc erasure #gendered socialization #dichotomous thinking #trans drama #i'm ready to start some SHIT here so either make a good argument for why I'm wrong and change my mind or GTFO my blog

[waywardsalt]

Hey, thanks for the response on the post where I asked about what people dislike ab totk! I genuinely appreciate it a lot, and you summarized most of my thoughts about this beautifully!

Here's something you might find interesting: something about this game's pacing REALLY bothered me from the start, and I think I know what it is. Totk, despite being an open world game that you can pour a ton of time into, feels short. It's a really weird feeling, and I think it can be explained in that Nintendo is trying to use the linear storytelling format for a nonlinear game, which is also why the ability to see the tears in a random order was disorienting, and why the stories from the ancient sages felt so repetitive.

The gameplay is long, but the story isn't! If you compare it to Skyward Sword, for example! In sksw, you go through each of the areas once, and then again with some changes, and then again with more. There's several clear acts, and even if the game is super super linear and recieves criticism for that, it works really well in that context. Additionally, the characters more than make up for the linearity of the story. Totk tries to take that same format, but doesn't seem to understand that this format is for a linear story. It only has a very brief story, and the story to gameplay ratio is so dragged out that unless you get invested in the world, it all starts to feel really stupid and pointless. Unfortunately, totk fails at getting us invested, too.

I really hope this made ANY sense at all, ty again for the input!! I love the responses I'm getting on that post djbdjsndns :D

Hi, you're welcome for my uh... totk rant, I guess? I covered a lot of stuff in it but I wouldn't say I covered everything bc there is... a lot abt that game that rubs me the wrong way in one way or another.

totk is definitely an odd case, it being an open world game that does try to adhere to linear game rules, you’re right- and i’d say the story is severely kneecapped by that attempt on the game’s part to have its cake and eat it too. it tries to mix what botw brought to the table with what was done in the past, but because botw is vastly different in what it does than past zelda games, the result is a messily paced, poorly-told, gameplay-focused with piss-easy mandatory puzzle segments result, failing to capture the advantages of linear games and instead making those specific parts considerably weaker.

people give linear games shit for… honestly, im not totally sure, as someone who really enjoys linear games. they allow for a good focus on story and character, mostly because you can have a set pace and passing of time and order of events. totk tries to implement linear style elements into a game where you can do anything out of order, so in the end the story is surprisingly brief but slow paced because you have to travel so far for everything and they have to account for you doing everything in any order, hence... repeating the same fucking information as a reward for four of the dungeons (which, i don't care how you feel about this game, is an awful fucking choice i mean holy SHIT), and is probably why the interactions with the new sages include very brief character arcs or something, they wanted to include some kind of linear character stories but it all just got stuffed in between a bunch of mini-main quests.

the fact that effectively half of the main story happens ages in the past and is communicated through brief cutscenes that can easily be encountered out of order, too, is kind of a pitiful way to tell the story. they're all basically glorified exposition dumps since nothing about them will change, they're all events that have already happened and have nothing to do with the player except hyping them up i guess.

the dungeons themselves are awkwardly transposed from a more linear game style with them relying on a specific skill to some degree, but they just fall so flat compared to past linear zelda dungeons. in botw the divine beasts honestly worked because the mechanic of manipulating the beasts themselves and the activating of switches fit perfectly with the setup of the dungeons being huge machines, while there isn't as good of a story example as to why totk's dungeons have the same switch mechanic. botw's divine beasts work pretty well in an open world setting. totk's just fall to pieces in an open with setting, even discounting how ascend could just snap them in half entirely. you just... can't have the same kind of dungeons as past zelda games in an open world format. once you take out the array of specific-use progressively-earned items, you're just left with this tiny little gmod ass toolbox to do what felt like baby's first loz-style dungeon. go to the clearly marked waypoint, do one (1) simple puzzle, get reward.

i miss mini bosses, rooms with puzzles that had to be solved to unlock a door or a doorkey, and even the experience of wandering around just trying to figure out what to do next. honestly, the first half of the lightning temple was the best part of all of the dungeons put together, and then we're back to 'go to four different rooms to do four different easy puzzles'. linear games have genuine advantages over open world games, and open world games have their own advantages. in the story segments, totk just ignores the advantages inherent to it's game's basic style in favor of trying and failing to emulate the advantages of a very different game style.

totk is so paradoxically unable to tear itself away from the series' past while at the same time disregarding series staples and even big parts of its own goddamn prequel.

in my experience with the game, as far as i can remember, i believe i went around and opened all of the towers, did some shrines and the depths, got the master sword, did the main quests with some side quests, then sped through getting all of the memories in order, then did the final boss. in between all of that, i managed to get all of the armor, do every single shrine, and open the entirety of the depths. i did not give a single damn about the story by the end. for me, with my playstyle, everything was just... spread out over such a long period of time so there was barely any urgency at all, i experienced the memories all in quick succession while already knowing the big twist (which. btw. i didnt care about. i wasnt really endeared to zelda and link's lack of visual interest during cutscenes just brought up the question of if he doesnt care why should i), and since this game's story is more linear, it just felt so disjointed and strange and... not important.

with botw it makes pretty good sense why link may take ages, why you could get the memories however you want, all of that. zelda is keeping things with ganon on pause for you. all of the big stuff happened in the past. you are here in the present, in the ruins of the past, a blank slate come to eventually complete the mission that you had failed, at the same time discovering this new world and becoming re-acquainted to it with this strange second chance you've been given. totk doesn't have this excuse. at least in past zelda games, you did things in a specific order, so when you wanted to fuck around, it was usually something related to or based on your progress. if you want to fuck around in oot what you can do is based on where you are in the game and even then it all ends up wrapping back around to bolstering link for the end. getting hearts, better items... like every side quest in every other loz game did. in totk you can do a sidequest for like. one flower. and what does that even do for you. it doesn't have the excuse of the honestly pretty well crafted setup and world state of botw.

i really don't know what happened during the development of totk, and i can't imagine it was the smoothest thing in the world, esp considering the pandemic hitting in the middle of it. but just... it just feels like it failed in so many regards and was just... so disappointing, and yet people are heralding it as the best zelda game and- this is not what i want a zelda game to be! i want a zelda game to have those wonderful puzzle-filled dungeons with well-written main characters and music that fits the setting and feels supported by the game's events and a unique setting with unique little nooks and crannies and good pacing and act structure and like. some kind of heart to it. not just another big open-world game created to be the big open world game where you can do this one amazing specific cool thing that TOTALLY is worth the $70 or whatever else it may be priced around the world.

idk. to me what makes zelda games zelda games is the linear storytelling and those complex dungeons and specific method of progression, and botw's new open-world emulation of the sense that loz 1 gave does not and probably will not ever be able to mix with that linear style unless you have massive in game game style shifts to allow for it. either return to the old format or just commit to the series becoming Triple A Open World Game Series Number 34

#asks #salty talks #bitching abt totk #wind-awoken #ty for the ask i love tearing into this game bc its at least helped me understand some stuff abt game design and what kinds of games i like #and why. too bad this game is rancid imo #dude i fucking love skyward sword. the linearity lends itself to a sense of progression and time passing and just. ugh. its so good #totk critical #totk neg #totk salt #covering my bases :) #i just. yeah gamedev is hard but if this is the mess we got after 6 YEARS what the fuck happened??? what was scrapped???? #they had SIX FUCKING YEARS and having the ancient sages regurgitate the same info 4 times made it to the final release #what in the fuck happened in there #i dont really like the idea of there being a permanent move to open world bc its clearly just following the crowd on this one #its just such a massive departure from all other loz games (including loz 1 tbh) that that has to be part of it i feel. it makes sense #botw + totk dont feel unique like the other loz games do. they just. feel really similar to shit like elden ring and fenyx bc like. #thats just how open world action adventure games are ig. ironically theres not a ton of wiggle room with the open world formula #cant really get away from what makes them all feel interchangeable bc its so core to what an open world game is #best you can do is add some standout aspect like the general. Being A Souls Game in elden ring #totk adding dumbass glue doesnt even feel unique bc like. its just what every other sandbox game lets you do with some added jank #progression feels meaningless when it has no impact on what you can do in the game and thats the only kinda progression in totk #get more health make armor numbers bigger make better food fuse better weapons. you cant even upgrade the abilities this time #yeah botw has similar pitfalls but it at least owns being an open world game. it utilized and embraced the format #idk. totk before release was increasingly overwhelming to me and post release it was just such a massive letdown #i remember trying in earnest to pull a wagon using a horse and just. having the worst time. ultrahand sucks unless you make death machines #or one of like five specific traversal things

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi Sex Witch, just wanted to ask a sex ed Q if that's ok! I recently started working out after years of being pretty inactive - I walk places and my job is more physical but no real exercise - and since I've started I noticed I had some spotting in my underwear immediately after working out. I havent changed BC or anything and havent had any of the kinds of sex that could cause any vaginal tears. I'm not really worried about it, but I just wanted to check this wasnt something I should bring up with a doctor, unless maybe it doesnt go away after a while? Thanks!

hi anon,

this is an interesting one for sure.

there's a link between physical activity and the hymen tearing, but that tends to happen at a much younger age than you presumably are if you have a job. (if you're some kind of child laborer, my condolences.)

I know some people are probably immediately balking at my mention of the hymen at all, since I've dedicated a not inconsiderable amount of my time both irl and online to talking about how the hymen is mostly bullshit and not a reliable indicator of sexual activity, and those things are true - but it is a real membrane that partially - keyword, partially - cover the vaginal opening at birth. it doesn't so much shatter upon first contact with a sexual apparatus, as many people seem to thing, as pretty gradually wear away and widen over the early years of a person's life, aided by ordinary physical activity. aside from rare cases of imperforate hymens, there's generally no drastic intervention required.

a tangent that I find interesting: historically there's been some real concern surrounding vagina-having young ladies taking part in certain activities for fear that those activities might endanger the hymen. bicycles were considered devastatingly unladylike, because they not only threatened the hymen but also allowed women to go places unsupervised like a bunch of harlots and seemed like they could, maybe, be putting pressure on the clitoris or otherwise simulating sex, which absolutely couldn't happen. there's also a probably apocryphal idea floating around, which I think may have genuinely been popularized by A Song of Ice and Fire, that horseback riding could "break" a hymen and therefore noblewomen were less likely to bleed on their wedding night because they'd grown up on horseback. like many things in Game of Thrones, that one's bullshit.

POINT BEING, there's definitely like.... a connection between spotting and physical activity that exists, but it would be slightly irregular at this phase of your life. (again, unless you're a child who's been put to work in a mine or something, in which case you have bigger problems.) note that irregular doesn't necessarily mean "dangerous" - I honestly love that you're not panicking about this - but if you're bleeding it's usually a sign that something is amiss.

if you're sure it's not a birth control situation or one where bleeding could be caused by sex, it could mean there's some kind of friction or irritation occurring in your vaginal region when you're exercising that's causing a little light bloodshed. there's also a chance that your new workout regiment is causing some kind of hormonal fluctuation in your body - possible, especially if this is something you're still getting used to! this is an especially common stress response if you've got a very low level of body fat and/or you aren't taking in as much food as your body would like; exercise puts a lot of strain on a body that isn't properly nourished!

overall, I would agree with your assessment that this is only something that you need to bring up with a doctor if it doesn't naturally stop - or, of course, if the bleeding suddenly starts getting much heavier or painful.

#sex edventures 2023